Chapter Text
“Case 0613, 276, 23rd Week, Daytwo, Nubu. Step forward and present your complaint,” Chief Justice Choi instructs the petitioner.
“Yes, Justice,” the petitioner responds. “My name is Ji Seokhyun. I manage a smartglass farm in the Upper region,” he says, referring to the higher-elevation part of the island. “Right now we are growing sweet potatoes, rice, soybeans, and various fruits and vegetables. Recently, I’ve observed that some of my leafy greens have been consumed by an unknown pest. I need assistance identifying and getting rid of it.”
One might expect the management of pests to be the farmer’s personal burden, but here on the planet Teula, where scarcity is the name of the game, and food a precious resource, care of the agricultural system is everyone’s top priority. The possibility of a new pest means that whole segments of the population might go hungry without an effective and timely solution.
“Thank you for bringing this issue to our attention,” says Justice Kim Namjoon. He’s leaned forward, hands clasped over the surface of his tablet on the desk. His eyes are focused on the petitioner, brows furrowed.
You find it hard to focus on the petitioner when Justice Kim looks like this. His hair is combed back professionally, and the cut of his robe can’t conceal his well-proportioned body. The intent look on his face as he concentrates on the petitioner, a slight furrow to his brow, nearly makes you salivate.
“Have you investigated the issue at all?” he asks the farmer.
“Yes, Justice. Our video feeds show that the culprit is some kind of insect. We’ve prepared specimens and documentation showing its feeding behavior and its larval stages.” He gestures at some boxes on his right.
“Can you describe their feeding pattern and preference?” you inquire, aware of the gazes of the other justices.
The petitioner faces you. “Yes, Your Honor. So far they seem to prefer the rhubarb, but we’ve found them on chard and kale as well. We suspect they would spread further given the chance. They are very adaptable. Their modus operandi is to skeletonize the young leaves, thus killing off most of the young plants. They tend to leave the more mature ones alone.”
“Interesting.” Namjoon leans forward further, looking earnestly at the farmer. “Any idea where they came from?”
“We didn’t notice them at all until a week ago, Your Honor; however, the first affected plants were on the lowest shelves on the darkside of the greenhouse.”
“Hmm. Have you attempted any deterrent?”
“No, Your Honor. We thought it best to bring the information to you first so that the insect could be examined in a controlled environment.”
Namjoon smiles. “You did well.” He asks a couple more questions about the management practices of the farm in question and the behavior of the insect. Then he states his ruling. “We will give Case 0613 over to the public agricultural scientists and entomologists immediately and contact nearby farms to ensure the pest has not spread. Please enact a quarantine over your affected crops for the time being. We will contact you with any findings and cover your losses at the farm. Thank you for coming forth with this issue so promptly,” Namjoon says steadily with a gentle look on his face.
The farmer bows. “Thank you for your hard work.” He turns and takes his leave.
You glance at Namjoon, impressed by his quick and thorough thinking, although, having known him this long, you shouldn’t be surprised. You aspire to be a judge like him.
You had first been acquainted with Kim Namjoon as one of your seniors in the public school system of Nubu when you were around 13 or 14 sets old. At that time, Namjoon was already popular and well-accepted by the major crowds, despite all of the awkwardness that comes with that age, not to mention a cringe-inducing haircut. With his strong academic profile, he was respected among others who excelled in their studies. His charisma, sense of humor, and confidence made him well-liked among more athletic students, and his penchant for creativity inspired art-focused youth.
You got to know him a bit better in high school when you joined Debate Club, of which he was the captain. During that set, your general awareness and admiration of Namjoon developed into a full-blown crush. You don’t remember the moment you first spoke to him, but you do remember the moment he had begun to carve a spot for himself in your heart.
It was your first defeat in a formal debate. Your opponent had been formidable, and though it had been a close match, his precision of organization had ultimately won out. You had gracefully conceded, but hours later found your eyes brimming with tears as, exhausted, you shouldered your bag to return home. You needed a good cry, but your captain wasn’t having it.
He appeared by your side as if by magic. “_____? Hey, look at me.” You turned away, wanting to avoid the conversation and just mourn the destruction of your zero-loss streak.
“_____, you’re making it hard for me to captain.” You finally looked at Namjoon, ashamed at causing him more trouble when he had already led the team through such a grueling tournament.
You expected his face to look stern and disapproving, but instead one side of his mouth was tugged up in a half-amused, half-concerned sort of way. “Good, I got your attention. Now are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”
You didn’t really want to talk about it, but you had the feeling your captain wouldn’t leave you alone until you did, so you stammered, “I--I--I let the team down,” triggering another round of salty tears from your eyes. Your response was a side-step. Although it was part of the reason you felt bad, the full truth--that you had violated your own perfect standards--brought you too much shame. How dare you expect perfection from yourself? Who did you think you were? If Namjoon knew, he would be disgusted by your arrogance. He couldn’t know.
Your captain frowned. “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about. It sounds like you think you’re responsible for the success of our whole team.”
“N--no,” you protested through your runny nose. “I just--just…” You struggled to convey the pressure you felt to carry the team, but the more you tried to wrap your exhausted mind around the issue, the less sense your original reaction made. It was true that you were a good debater, but you were not the only one on your team by a long shot. In addition, you were only a freshman, so it didn’t make sense for you to lead the team. So why did this one little loss matter so much?
Namjoon waited a moment more for you to run out of steam, before saying, “Hey, it’s OK to have high expectations for yourself. Ugh, goodness knows I’ve been there. I like to be good, but sometimes it makes me feel bad.”
Namjoon put a comforting hand on your shoulder (just a little bit awkwardly--he was, after all, a high school boy), his warmth seeping through your shirt. He gave you that level, intense gaze, his dark eyes looking into yours so directly in a way no one else had before. And then he said, “But what I really want is for you is to have more moments when you’re satisfied with yourself--when you love yourself.” You didn’t know why at the time, but those words just made you cry harder. “You should give yourself some positive feedback, a pat on the back--‘_____, you did good today.’ Because you’re important and precious, and you’re just a seedling now, but you’re going to grow into a strong and tall tree. And to do that you’re going to need some nourishment--some love from yourself, and some harder times to gain experience. Everyone suffers in life. There are sad days. But you’re like that tree. And reaching those heights of your potential might require some pruning, watering, and steady care, but you are worth it. Anyway, that’s what I say to myself too. So let’s forgive ourselves for once.”
You hadn’t expected a speech. By the time he finished speaking, you’d regained your breath, and there were no new tears brimming on your lids. You stared at him, just processing.
He broke eye contact, and the spell was broken. “What am I talking about? Sorry for rambling. Anyway, are you headed home? If it’s a long walk, do you want a snack or something? Oh fiddlesticks, where did I put that fignewton…?”
Of course you had heard similar words before, but somehow the way Namjoon put them was new. They struck home. And your heart turned toward him like iron toward a magnet.
---
His self-possession and eloquence at the podium, his ability to teach and encourage his juniors, and his sincerity in quieter moments when he spoke about improving the state of your city--all tugged your planet closer toward his sun.
But what you loved most of all was that carefree smile, showing his clean teeth, squinted eyes, and last but not least, those adorable dimples. It was a smile that made him look carefree. You wanted to be a reason for that smile.
You wonder when was the last time you saw it. It seems it’s been ages.
Now that the session is over, your anxiety returns. In ten hours you will depart for the island of Nuje, a volcanic island a cycle or two’s journey from Nubu.
The planet Teula is where you and several million other humans now make your home. You are unaware if other humans exist in the galaxy, but it matters not since you are unable to contact them. The Teulan humans arrived as a colony about 250 Earth-years ago. They had been genetically modified to suit their new home.
Teula is similar to Earth in many ways, having liquid water and an atmosphere, in addition to similar density, gravity, and temperature. It is also different. For one thing, it does not rotate, making one side a permanent boiling, cancerous, eternal day, inhospitable to (Earthian) life, and the other side a frozen wasteland of permanent night. A small sliver of habitable land between the two, called the terminator line, is where most human Teulans live. Teulan DNA had been made resistant to mutations caused by the harsh sun’s radiation. Teulan lungs and blood had been made suitable to respirate the unique combination of gases making up Teula’s lower atmosphere. And finally, Teulan fertility had been artificially lowered to control population growth.
Constructing the civilized society of Teula at present was and is a continuous challenging process. With only the materials provided by the spaceship and the limited ores to be found in the iron core of Teula, your forebears had built settlements from the ground up. Using only the fungal spores brought from Earth, they had created their own soil on the bare rock of Teula to grow food. They had created artificial night and day based on Earth’s own cycle.
The Teulan pioneers had used complex technology to generate electricity. The terminator line, being a division between intense cold and intense heat, is subject to continual extreme rain and gales. The strong wind and eternal sunlight are used to generate power. In addition, the sunny side of your island of Nubu is exposed to extreme fluctuations in tide caused by the gravitational pull of nearby planets. These changes in tide also generate energy.
Now, although energy is in good supply, food is not. The limiting factor is mostly land. Teulans also possess an awareness the now-extinct Earthians had lacked: mindless consumption leads to ruin.
Therefore your society places a premium on collaboration and sharing of resources, and your work as a justice official of the city of Nubu on the planet Teula is essential. You oversee the responsible use of resources for the good of all planetary citizens. You understand the importance of your work deeply and want to do your job well.
For this reason, you are an absolute mess of nerves while preparing for your last assessment mission prior to taking your pledge: a diplomacy trip to the island of Nuje, on the dark side of the planet.
You had already packed several cycles ago, wanting to be prepared for the mission in advance, but when you cocoon yourself in your blankets to rest, you find that sleep does not come easily. Your mind is racing with thoughts about the mission. Had you read the briefing carefully enough? What if you forgot something? What if you made a mistake? What if you disappointed the Bureau agents--or, perhaps worse, Namjoon? Were you really capable of handling the responsibility? Even as you try to rest, your heart thunders inside your ears. Eventually your mind shuts itself off due to your utter exhaustion from the past weeks of preparing.
---
At home, Namjoon lounges on his mattress. It’s nice to take a quick breather after work and before he will be expected down at the docks. He opens up his wearable to play a couple of puzzles on it. Something mindless, disconnected from anything in reality.
After a moment, his eyes trail over to a photograph on the wall. In the photograph, a younger Namjoon stands next to several other young people. His eyes are squinted in a smile and he wraps his arm around a girl to his left. The girl is also smiling toothily. She has light shoulder-length hair in a stylish side part and bright eyes. Her cheeks are a little pinked with joy.
Yeonji. The internship in Nuje. That photo is on the wall for a reason. At one point, he would have done anything to make her grin like that. What had she said at that time? He remembers the feeling: finally, someone he could confide in about this desperate feeling inside, this lack of certainty of identity. She had felt safe.
Yeonji. Can I ask you something?
I’m all ears, Namjoon.
It’s a little personal.
Namjoon, you can tell me anything, OK?
I appreciate that.
OK, so shoot.
I want to be an author.
A slow blink, a tightening of those pink lips. A sudden doubt in his innocent heart. ,What kind of author? she asks.
Poetry.
Her cheeks fill with air and she loses control of her chuckle. She leans forward, pushing his arm. Namjoon! You can’t be serious.
He tries his best to laugh with her. I know it’s really different from what we’re doing now.
You are serious! Her brows rise incredulously and she leans back on her hands to look down her nose at him. Namjoon. I don’t know why you would say that. Don’t you think here is the best place for you?
Well, it’s true that I’ve invested a lot of time here…
Yeah! And you’re like the most qualified one here. You have the best shot at a justice position. Namjoon, you could be at the top. She leans forward again for emphasis. Don’t you think your parents would have something to say about this?
Yeah, well… He leans back and turns his head to avoid her gaze. At this point, he just wants the conversation to end. He was really hoping for some words of affirmation from Yeonji, the first person for whom his heart had beat like that.
He’d thought it was love.
Now he sits here on the mattress and feels a sickness in the pit of his stomach that never goes away. Regret.
Even at that time, it had been a poor argument. Leading in government should never be about status. Well Namjoon knew that. Yet logic had been nothing against the fear of disappointing his parents, and against his own ego, and against his frail love for Yeonji. Although he does not hate his job, he also takes little pleasure in it. He works hard, and he feels competent. But to do his job well there is no time for rest. No time to write down the beautiful words that fill his head. All sentiment, all truth, is wasted. Namjoon is sure that if only he could write that book, it would be a bestseller. It would bring catharsis and deep thought to many. If only he had the time to write it. If only he had trusted himself before.
But he has responsibilities now. He has a duty to his city. People rely on him to make good decisions and keep the world running smoothly.
There are happy moments too: he brings you to mind, his junior justice. It is nice to have another younger justice in the court; he had not been a fan of the now-retired Justice Goo’s style. Not only that, you are his acquaintance. In debate, you were a young star. He’s always known you’d go far.
You’ve matured. Nowadays he admires your new poise in the petition room. Public speech no longer seems a barrier to you. You manage to keep citizens calm and ask the right questions, often ones he doesn’t think to ask.
He notices other things too, things he probably shouldn’t, like the way the black robe hugs your curves. During the previous session, he had a grievous time trying to keep his eyes on your face and not to dip below. He heaves a sigh. It’s highly irresponsible of him to think of you that way. Not only is it against the rules, but he feels especially guilty as your mentor.
He wants to write something about this feeling. But he’s filled with exhaustion, and he knows it’s time to rest before the journey to Nuje.
---
You wake with a start and your heart immediately resumes its thundering. What woke you? It wasn’t your alarm. Panicked, you check the time immediately, only to sigh in relief and fatigue. You are fully awake, but it is an hour before you need to be so for your meeting with the mission organizer, Kim Taehyung.
He has asked you to come to a public gymnastics building to meet some team members who have been added to the mission at the last minute.
You won’t be able to fall asleep again, so you sit up and stretch before changing into your travel suit. For breakfast you munch on a baked sweet potato with some black beans. You review the mission briefing and your notes for the fifth time before going through your usual morning routine. Finally you treat yourself to some berries from the greenhouse on your way out the door.
---
Entering the public gymnastics building, you are intrigued by the gentle thumping and squeaking of limbs on the mats of a nearby training room. Curious as to who would be here so early apart from you and Taehyung, you find yourself drifting toward the sound.
As you approach the window separating the hallway from the training room, you are greeted by the sight of two young men engaged in a hand-to-hand sparring match. They breathe heavily, grunt, and shout occasionally to denote a special technique. Although you are unfamiliar with their fighting style, you can immediately intuit their great skill. Their movements are too fast for you to follow, but they are as graceful as dancers. Their muscles show in relief even through their thick sweats. Sweat glistens on their brows, but their eyes are sharp and focused on one another.
Narrowing your eyes, you compare the two masters. One displays more powerful movements. Each of his motions show strength and precision, though not overbearingly. It’s hard to see his face clearly since he’s moving so fast, but he has large doe eyes and prominent front teeth.
The other man easily holds his own against the doe-eyed boy. His body is like liquid as he easily evades the other’s attacks, and his own onslaught is like the crash of a sneaker wave, swift and fluid. He has slender eyes, a strong jaw, and somewhat puffy cheeks that put you in mind of a rice cake.
You’re so absorbed in the match that you don’t hear Taehyung approach. “I see you’ve already met them,” he says quietly to alert you to his presence.
You turn quickly, concealing your surprise. “Oh, hello, Taehyung.”
“Hello,” he says, smiling softly. Everything about him seems soft: his hair, his voice, his skin...his vague political stances. You haven’t known him long, but his quiet manner puts you paradoxically on edge. Like you and Namjoon, he is young for his position. However, unlike you, he has not been elected to his position and has instead been appointed by city officials.
But you have no real reason to dislike him. You scold yourself for your unfairness. You smile back at him. “Who are they?” you ask, gesturing with your water bottle through the glass.
“These two will be your guards during the mission,” explains Taehyung, gazing at the pair of experts. As Namjoon’s secretary, Taehyung has been responsible for much of the planning and logistics for this trip, and you’re grateful for his competence. “They’re part of the Sun Corps, a small group formed for the protection of individuals such as yourself. They are trained in a variety of defensive and offensive techniques.”
You sip your water as you peep through the window at the training room. “Hmm.”
He turns to look you in the eye. “This is just a run-of-the-mill diplomacy outing. We aren’t expecting any threats, but we should be prepared just in case.”
You meet his gaze, about to ask for some more information, when a door slamming behind you interrupts your thought. You turn to see the two men heading down the hall toward you and Taehyung.
Bucktooth’s arm is slung around Mochi, and they’re grinning at each other in good humor. They haven’t noticed the two of you yet, too focused on one another. You raise your brow at the lack of observation skills in these supposed elite fighters.
“That was my win,” says Bucktooth with a smirk, playfully pinching Mochi’s shoulder.
“Kid, I let you win,” Mochi retorts, “just because you’re cute. You have a long way to go.”
Taehyung clears his throat, gaining their attention. When they see you, they immediately flush and straighten their postures to approach. “Officers,” Taehyung begins. “This is Justice _____, she-her, Justice Kim’s new associate.” He gestures toward Mochi, who meets your gaze directly despite his apparent embarrassment. “Justice _____, this is Officer Park Jimin, he-him. He graduated at the top of his class in ‘73, and he’s a personal friend of mine.”
Officer Park makes a brief bow, and then straightens to look you in the eye with a polite smile. “Honored to serve,” he says.
Taehyung turns toward Bucktooth. “And this is Tyro Jeon Jungkook, he-him. He just graduated last quarter, and this is his first field assessment, like you. He’s received top marks at the academy and is apprenticed under Officer Park. I’m sure he’ll do a great job.”
Jungkook bows, imitating his senior, but unlike Officer Park, he appears intimidated and won’t meet your eyes. “I’ll do my best, Your Honor.”
You give him an encouraging smile. “Thank you. I’m grateful for your help,” you tell both of them.
---
There is an hour or so left before your scheduled departure. You’ve spoken to your neighbor, Kyung-hee, about taking care of your garden during your trip. Your belongings are stacked by the door, ready to go. You’ve triple-checked your packing list, and now that it is finally now, you don’t know what to do with yourself. Restless, you can’t even bring yourself to sit down to study the mission briefing again. Instead you pace back and forth, your thoughts racing.
Finally your patience expires. Time to head down toward the docks, where your ship waits to transport you to the island of Nuje. You heave your backpack onto your back and your duffel over your shoulder. You exit the door and lock it before heading down the smooth path toward the docks. Fortunately you live relatively close by; the walk is less than a kilometer.
You find very soon that you have overestimated yourself. Although you have gone down to the docks a couple of times for inspections, and the walk to the market is of a similar distance, you have never done it with such a heavy load before. You find yourself having to stop to rest every couple of minutes to ease the ache in your back and shoulders.
You are now paused in such a way with your belongings on the ground while you take a moment to catch your breath. You stretch your back and arms a few times and bend over to ease the strain for a moment. There is sweat on your face and underneath your jumpsuit, and your heart is beating more quickly than normal from exertion.
“Um,” a voice says, and you glance up, a bit startled, into the face of Tyro Jeon, your guard. He is standing a meter or so away, looking slightly bashful as he tugs up and down on the zipper of his jumpsuit. “Do you...Do you want some help?” He looks again to the side, appearing like he would rather be anywhere but here.
You consider his expression a moment longer. He does not seem irritated or embarrassed, maybe just a little awkward. You remember this will be his first field assessment, just like it is for you. You smile cordially to put him at ease. “Tyro Jeon. Thank goodness you’re here. I could really use another set of arms.”
He still won’t meet your eyes, but immediately replies with a “yes, Your Honor,” heaving both your backpack and duffel over his own shoulder bag.
“Oh! I can take at least the backpack,” you protest, reaching for it hesitantly, but he’s already walking away.
“It’s no problem, Your Honor,” he says, not looking back.
You walk a little faster to catch up. “You know, you really don’t have to call me that. I’m not even a judge yet.”
He finally glances down to meet your eyes briefly in surprise before looking away nervously. “Ah...OK....” He bites his lip and scrunches his eyebrows, peering down at the floor again uncomfortably. “...Er, what was your name again?”
“Tyro Jeon!” you chastise, a bit indignant. “You don’t even know the name of your charge! Did you read the mission briefing?”
“That...I got partway through it but fell asleep in the middle last night,” he says sheepishly.
You scoff playfully. “Jeon!” He steps back, looking at you with wide eyes. “Well, you’re lucky I’m here. I can help you at least get the important points down. First: my name is _____. Nice to meet you…”
---
When you’re finally within reach of the docks, you’ve begun to quiz Jungkook on some of the major points of the briefing. And, to your surprise, he seems to have caught on rather quickly. “Chief Justice Park?” you ask, watching his focused expression.
“Ah, she’s the senior justice in Nuje, and our point of contact upon arrival,” he responds immediately.
“Good,” you say, pleased. It really isn’t ideal for him to be so behind, but as an apprentice guard, his priority is to assist Officer Park in watching over your and Namjoon’s safety. If all goes well, he shouldn’t need to know the mission details, but you figure it can’t hurt.
Your ship comes into view. Visibility is somewhat poor on this side of Nubu, away from the sun, but there is enough light to show the sleek and compact machine with its charging lights still on and members of the crew making final safety inspections. To travel the vast distance across the ice and the darkness, you will be taking a skater, an electrically powered vehicle with a small battery that is propelled along a path by remotely-controlled magnets anchored to small islands.
You are amazed to see that Jeon does not appear the least bit fatigued by having carried the heavy baggage this distance. His chest barely moves with his breath, and his face is absent of sweat.
You stop at the boarding door to present identification to the attendant, who waves you through easily. Jeon follows you to the cabin area to drop off your belongings. He sets your bags gently by your designated door and abruptly turns to leave.
“Tyro Jeon?” you ask before he sets off. He turns glances back at you in surprise. Now you are the one who fumbles. “Um, one moment please.” You make a few taps on your wearable. “I made a copy. Of the mission briefings. I just sent it to you. You can use it to study more. If you want.” You brush your hair behind your ear awkwardly.
He takes it with wide eyes. “Oh, thank you, Justice _______. I’ll look at it later. Well--” and he turns to leave.
“Ah--” you say a little too loudly, making him turn back again. “Thank you for your help, Jeon.”
He nods. Is that a dusting of pink on his cheeks? You can’t be certain because it’s gone when you blink. Either way, you can’t deny that Officer Park’s apprentice is adorable. He finally seems to be a bit more comfortable around you. The way he had interacted with Officer Park earlier indicated that Jeon could be quite gregarious among people he knew well. You hope you can befriend him during this trip given the similarity of your circumstances.
---
After a quick nap and wash to freshen up in your quarters, it is about time for the skater to leave. You head out to the sternal deck to observe your departure through the smartglass. The skater powers up with a soft hum and begins to accelerate into the dark without much preamble. The sight of Nubu recedes into the background. As ever, the ragged black crags of your home are soon covered by the dense gray rain. Your heart clenches to say goodbye to your home, and you can’t contain a heavy sigh.
“Are you OK?” asks Justice Kim from beside you.
Startled, you meet his gaze. Oh, he is truly adorable in that jumpsuit. He looks so different without his formal robe on. He’s just so solid. Huggable.
“Ah...yes,” you finally respond. “I was just thinking I’ll miss home.”
“Hmm. Something in particular?”
“Well...It might sound silly, but I just have this paranoia that I might not come back.”
He regards you silently for a moment. “I wouldn’t call that silly. Have you been away before?”
“Well, only on day trips.”
He nods. “I hear you. Although we’re only planning on being away for a few days, it could certainly feel like a lot longer if you’ve never really left Nubu before.” He’s looking out the back of the skater, watching the peaks of Nubu get smaller and smaller. “I felt the same way when I did my internship a couple of years ago. I couldn’t stop thinking about home, about my friends back there, my family, my plants, and everything.” He smiles in reminiscence.
“But,” he goes on, “my teacher told me something. He said that missing home was a normal reaction, because home represents security, normalcy, and routine. It’s natural to want to hold onto those things.”
“It’s natural,” he repeats. “But just like stretching a muscle, leaving home becomes easier the more you do it. Although it might be challenging the first time, it will make you stronger. I believe that.” He smiles at you warmly and your heart skips a beat. As before, his words put you at ease.
It dawns on you that this is one of the longest non-work-related conversations you’ve ever had with him since graduation. Although you’d once been very close and followed the same service path, your busy schedules now mean that it is hard to find time to just talk.
The crackle of an intercom interrupts your musings. “Hello and welcome aboard the Samseong. I’m Captain Min Yoongi, your pilot on this trip. I’d just like to go over some safety essentials before we depart. Please listen closely. I want to avoid filling out any HR forms for deaths or injuries if at all possible.”
You smirk and look at the window in front of you which is now showing a screen with a video of the safety procedures as the pilot describes them. You and Namjoon watch quietly, but you find it hard to pay attention, so aware are you of his presence.
When the announcement finally ends, Namjoon invites you to stroll to the small on-board cafeteria for a chat. You try to casually make small talk about how the hearings went today, but your palms are sweating more than usual, and your heart is palpitating.
Why are you so nervous? You know Namjoon. He’s your senior. You like being around him. Yet you can’t help worrying that you’ll run out of topics to talk about.
A clatter breaks into your thoughts. “Oops!” Namjoon exclaims, picking up his plate with a dismayed look. “What am I doing? Sorry, I’m so clumsy.”
You let out a chuckle. Somehow it is amusing that a person so accomplished, hardworking, and intelligent as Namjoon can still be so human. And his reactions are always adorable. Your shoulders release a tension you weren’t aware you were holding.
“Want some salad?” Namjoon almost drops the serving utensil as he gestures toward your dish. “Whoops.”
It is a little strange to be so friendly with him. Although you worked closely together, your responsibilities as judges were serious business. Your work was set up so you never had opportunity for personal time with colleagues, and there was a purpose to that. Those barriers were in place to ensure each judge’s opinion was independent of the others’. Without independent thought, a judge was no better than popular opinion.
You had made the vow, and so had Namjoon: to do your own research always, never to trust others on hearsay, and not to be swayed by fickle emotion, especially that brought out by a colleague. These rules are some of the foundations of your government founded on fairness.
And yet an old friendship cracks through those hallowed rules like tree roots splitting asphalt.
“I’d love some,” you finally say, smiling. “Have you been to Nuje before?” you ask as he serves you some of the dish.
“Yes, I had my apprenticeship there,” Namjoon replies, looking around a bit distractedly to see if there’s anything else he wants to eat.
“Oh? What did you think?” You finish adding food to your bowl and gesture that the two of you should seat yourselves in the tiny dining area.
“Of the city?” He frowns thoughtfully as you find a table and sit down. “Well, it’s completely different from Nubu. Of course the environment is different, but the culture too,” he comments, examining his food.
“How so?” Not only are you curious about Namjoon’s personal experience there, but any information you can gain that will improve your ability to do your job correctly is welcome.
“Hmm, I want to say it is old-fashioned in a way.” He looks up at the ceiling in reflection. “Do you ever read about the downfall of the Earth colonies? It reminded me of that.”
You meet his eyes, surprised. “In what way?”
He chuckles. “Even if I try to describe it, I don’t think it’s easy to understand without being there. To put it one way, they live on an island. Their resources are more limited. They’re isolated, aren’t they? So I think psychologically they are put in a defensive position, having only themselves to rely on. And being completely on the Night Side. They are more vulnerable than we are on the Terminator Line. No light except what they create themselves.”
You nod thoughtfully. “But they are loyal to the Federation. Aren’t they?”
“Of course! You have nothing to worry about. Chief Justice Park has always been a reasonable person, and she’s in favor of our alliance,” Namjoon assures you. “What I mean is that they view themselves as separate from the rest of us. Not...interdependent, you know.”
“Hmm, I see. Chief Justice Choi gave me a briefing about Nuje back home. She said the other two generally just follow Chief Justice Park’s lead.”
“Yeah, that’s how I would describe it too. It’s not so much like home, where each of us has an independent opinion that we deliver separately.”
You narrow your eyes. If it’s true, the dynamics Namjoon has just confirmed with you have the potential to become a serious issue of corruption in the Nuje government. “Does that have anything to do with the ‘old-fashioned-ness’ you mentioned?”
“Yeah, and also Chief Justice Park’s charisma and experience,” Namjoon explains. “She was actually my mentor.”
“Lucky,” you tease.
He grins, a bit embarrassed. “She’ll love you too, you know.”
“That would be nice,” you agree with a tight smile.
Namjoon suddenly puts his hand on top of yours, causing you to blush and look up. “_____, look at me.” His eyes are wide and his gaze imploring. “You’re the youngest to pass the justice tests. And don’t forget, you were elected by District 2. Overall, you’re a star. Chief Justice Park will respect that for certain.” He smiles and returns his hand to his chopsticks.
You try to return his smile. It is nice to be reminded of your accomplishments, but right now it is still difficult to face the pressure of your task, no matter what anyone says. “Thank you. I’m just a bit anxious. I’m sure it will be fine.”
“It will. Just treat it like an enforcement charge at home, and we’ll be done in no time.” He hesitates for a moment, and then gives you that same focused gaze. “And if you need to, don’t be afraid to come and talk to me. I’ll be happy to hear it. You can use me. I’m on your side, OK?”
You blush. He doesn’t mean to come off so charming, but it’s natural on him. It’s enchanting. Professionally speaking, perhaps you shouldn’t seek his help. After all, these meetings will be your final test before your status as Justice _____ is solidified. But you remember what Chief Justice Choi told you when you began this journey. You should take help when it’s offered. We all rely on one another in this world. Sharing your burdens in order to perform your best is part of your promised duty to Nubu.
You meet Namjoon’s steady gaze with a smile. “OK. Thank you, Justice Kim.”
“Oh um, I’ve been meaning to tell you--please call me Namjoon. It sounds strange when you say it like that, since you met me as just Namjoon.”
“OK...Namjoon?”
Saying his name only flusters him more. The esteemed justice suddenly starts stuffing his cheeks with food, making him look just slightly undignified. It’s adorable. You change the subject for his benefit. “So what do you do for fun nowadays?”
----
A couple of cycles later, you are preparing your mission notes prior to your meeting with the Bureau agents. They will be the ones to observe your mission and report back to the Federation with your evaluation. Your heart is beating more rapidly than normal, and you can’t shake the feeling that you’ve forgotten something.
This is it. The pressure is on to make a good first impression. You pat your pocket for your keys, identification. Your wearable is on your wrist as usual. You grab your bag and step out of your door.
On your way to the conference room, you consider Namjoon’s earlier words. I’m on your side. It calms you down. Just as he said, you are worthy of this job. You’ve prepared well. This is simply the next step in your journey. And you are not alone.
You enter the small conference room with trepidation. You feel conscious of your posture, shoulders back, chest slightly out, and core strengthened. You hold your chin a little higher than comfortable to show confidence you don’t feel.
Seated on the side of the table facing the door are two men in the Tyrian purple smartsuits that mark them as agents of the National Investigation Bureau, the NIB. They are young and attractive, and one motions for you to have a seat.
“Good evening, _____. Thank you for coming.” He looks at you with a large grin, showing his straight and white teeth. His face is slender and his features delicate. “Please call me Hope. This is my colleague, Special Agent Jin.”
The one on the right nods at you. “It’s nice to meet you.” He has broad shoulders and plump lips, and eyes that look innocent like a child’s.
“Yes, thank you for your hard work,” you say, simultaneously bowing your head and trying to meet their eyes.
“It’s our pleasure to serve,” Hope says with that smile again. “Now, to business. I trust Chief Justice Choi briefed you about Nuje’s recent political and economic history?”
“Yes.”
“Excellent. We’re just here to confirm your task.” He makes a steeple with his fingers. “The main component of your business in Nuje consists of discussing the details of the new aid program being implemented there next year. Nubu will be overseeing the program throughout the process, but first we just need to get some kinks worked out.” He pauses to let you confirm, gaze flicking down and back up.
You know all this very well from the briefing. “Right.”
“Do you have any questions? I’m happy to answer them if so.”
This is your first opportunity to show your commitment to your task. “Thank you, Special Agent Hope. My first question is in regards to the balance of funding for food shipments versus establishment of GroLight crop centers. Are there no lands zoned for agriculture? I just want to present this plan as growth-focused.”
“Of course, Justice ____. I’m more than happy to explain that…”
---
Finally, the meeting is over. Glancing at your wearable, you note that two cycles have passed.
You rise from your seat, smiling at the two agents. “Thank you very much for your time. I feel much more prepared now.”
Agent Hope grins toothily and waves a hand to dismiss you. “Happy to help. You’ll do fine. You’re the youngest participant to pass the assessments thus far.”
“Just trust yourself and your team,” says Agent Jin. When he winks at you, you aren’t sure how to respond.
“Ah...yes. I’ll work hard.” You give a nod and exit the conference room. As soon as you leave, you feel your shoulders slump with a tension of which you hadn’t been aware. A sigh is forced from your mouth as you finally take in some more air. You float back to your quarters, almost shaking with the released stress. Once inside, you flop on your cot and sigh again.
It had gone well. Agents Hope and Jin had been so accommodating to your questions. They had even encouraged you. You hadn’t been intimidated like you thought it might be. Instead, the bureau agents seemed more like your allies than your evaluators.
You’re a star, Namjoon says in your head. You flush and beat on your mattress a little too hard. Oh, he’s really too much.
---
Due to the speed of the skater, you will be in Nuje very soon. There are no more meetings to attend, so you decide to pass the time by going over your notes. Again. You sit on a little cushion on the observation deck near the bow. You stretch out your wearable to a comfortable size to write on. Then you call out your files.
You are unsure how much time has passed when you sense movement from the corner of your eye. You glance up briefly, and there’s Tyro Jeon strolling into the deck area.
He immediately makes eye contact with you and strolls over. He’s not wearing the skater jumpsuit, but instead some loose clothing like he wore in the gym earlier.
You speak first. “Hello, Tyro Jeon.”
“Justice _____.” He nods and drops down next to you, leaning back casually on his arms while he peers over at your wearable curiously.
“I’m just here going over the briefing again,” you sigh, answering his unasked question. “This is a nice place to read. Good feng shui.”
“Oh.”
When he doesn’t continue, you elaborate. “Good to be prepared, right?”
“Yeah…” he agrees. “I mean, you seemed pretty OK on it when we talked earlier. Are you sure that you need to read it again?” He looks at you questioningly, and then something seems to click in his brain, and he flushes rapidly. “I don’t mean anything by that,” he says, looking down. “I just think you already know it real well.”
“Hm, well, I probably do.” You set the wearable down and look at him. “I just can’t help thinking something might go wrong. I would really regret it if I made a silly mistake that could have been prevented had I just been more thorough,” you explain.
“Huh.” Retaining his casual posture, head tilted back, he looks down his nose at the wearable. “I guess that makes sense.”
“Yep.” You give him a half-smile. “Can’t be too careful.”
“Right.” He considers you a moment. “Actually, if it isn’t too much trouble...would you mind quizzing me again? I think maybe I’d like to know the briefing better too.”
“Sure,” you say enthusiastically. It’s cute that he’s following your example. “What part are you working on?”
“Err, I haven’t got around to opening the file yet,” he admits. “I’ve been kind of busy.”
“Oh, busy? With what?”
“Uh, well, Jimin--Officer Park, I mean--was showing me some emergency protocols for the skater.”
“Oh, I suppose that makes sense. Did you just come out here for a break?” you inquire.
“Yeah, well, I was just going to go through some moves. Gotta stay limber on this tiny ship.” He smiles.
“Hmm. Yep, this is probably the only space that’s open enough for you on board,” you agree. “Well, you could go through those first and then we can work on the briefing. I wouldn’t want to be responsible for you shirking your duties!” you tease.
“OK,” he chuckles. Up he goes in one graceful movement, and then begins some dynamic stretching.
You return your attention to the wearable and make a second copy of the briefing.
Tyro Jeon glances over at you every so often, admiring your singular focus on your work. After some time, he tires himself out and drops back down beside you, panting. He leans over to stretch his back and hips.
“Done already?” Finally you look over with a smile, pausing in your notes.
“Yep,” he grunts, releasing the stretch. “I’m ready to sit down for a moment.”
“Great. Here.” You make a few taps on your wearable. “I decided to make a new copy of the briefing. This time I just highlighted the most important parts that you’ll need to know when we reach Nuje.”
“Justice _____, you’re treating me too well,” Tyro Jeon says, only half-smiling. “It’s my fault I slacked off.”
You make a dismissive gesture. “No, no. You’re a tyro. Really Officer Park should have made sure you read through all of this. He was probably just keeping you too busy.”
He nods in acceptance. “Well, thank you anyway. Don’t know what I would have done without your help. Next time I’ll definitely be more responsible.”
“You’re welcome, Tyro.” You smile again. “Alright, why don’t you read through that as soon as you can, and then once we have some time later we can go over it together?”
“Won’t the meetings have started already?”
“Well, yes, but better late than never, right?”
“Sure, I guess,” he says. He stands and stretches up, popping his back, peering down at you. “Well, thank you again. I’m going to see if I can get some rest before we arrive.”
“Sounds good. I might turn in myself for a bit.”
He nods. “OK, well I’ll see you soon I guess.” He smiles and heads down the stairs to the lower level.
You just sit for a moment, considering your next course of action. You could try to rest for a bit, but now that you think of it, it might be a waste of time. You’re too restless for sleep. Instead you decide to try to calm down.
After grabbing a glass of water from the cafeteria, you sit down on your cushion at the bow and take a cross-legged pose to meditate for a while.
You begin by seeking consciousness of your breath. In, out, in, out. You listen to the quiet sound the air makes as it leaves and enters your body. You count the seconds to draw it in, to hold it, and then release it. Slower and slower. You take stock of your toes, your calves, your knees, all the way up your body to your forehead. And you try to think of nothing.
It isn’t easy. Your brain is always so active, eager to evaluate any stimuli. You are distracted by the lights from the skater through your eyelids, the thrum of the ship, the chatter of voices in other rooms. All of it prompts thoughts of where you are going, what you are doing. The causes and the consequences. The “how”s and the “why”s of it all.
But you know that to do your job well, you will have to take time to step outside all of that. Right now, you tell yourself, you must just be _____, a human, and focus on this moment in time and space.
Namjoon finds you thus, seated on the pillow breathing so slowly he thinks you might be asleep. He does not disturb you, but you soon emerge from your space anyway.
“Wow, I was really relaxed for a moment there,” you say, looking at the trackers on your wearable. You smile up at Namjoon.
“Wow,” he says, looking at your heart rate. “I think mine only gets that low when sleeping.” He strides over to the smartglass. “I’m proud of you.”
“Thanks. I mean, I’ve been anxious, but I’ve found this helps marginally.”
“You too?” He looks over with that slightly sad half-smile, eyebrow raised.
“Yes, I--wait, you’re also nervous?” Namjoon has always struck you as unshakeable, as this pillar of impermeability. But no, like you, he also suffers these thoughts. And the idea that he can feel that red chaos and still be such a role model is uplifting.
He lets out a deep sigh. “Yes. I try not to let it get to me, but we have so much responsibility, you know?”
“Yes.”
“I just want to do a good job.” He shrugs.
You nod deeply. “Exactly.” You look out the smartglass for a quiet moment and then turn back to your fellow. “What do you do to hold it off--if you don’t mind me asking?”
He meets your eyes. “Oh, I walk. Or bike. Visit a GroLight farm to see some green. Just helps to get out of my head and into my body more.”
“Mm.”
He seems like he’s about to say something else, his gaze full of meaning. But you spot a bright light on the horizon.
You must be very close to your destination. It’s been nearly eighteen cycles since you departed from Nubu. You rise and join Namjoon at the glass.
Finally you are approaching the port of Geonip-2. There through the window is your first sight of Nuje.
Inhabitants of this side of the planet live in perpetual darkness. There is no natural light apart from the faint glow at the peak of Mount Mun, the active volcano on which early pioneers had established the colony of Nuje. They had deemed the volcano one of the safer spots; as the eruption of Mount Mun was effusive, there was no continual pressure that might lead to a more destructive eruption. Furthermore, the geothermal energy beneath the surface of the island provided bountiful energy to the citizens of Nuje. And most importantly, the heat melted the ice around the island, creating liquid water and enabling a vibrant ecosystem to thrive near the geothermal vents.
You had heard tourists describe the sight of Nuje and Mount Mun rising in the distance as romantic, but now it sends a shiver of uncertainty down your spine. You cannot pinpoint what is making you so antsy. Is it the throbbing orange peak of Mun and the sickeningly bright city lights at the base of the mountain, reflecting on the water and dimming the stars? Is it the dissonant echo of music from port, the tune made eerie by the contour of the bay?
As the skater slides smoothly into the meltwater, transforming seamlessly into a waterborne vessel, you glance down at what is made visible by its headlights. The water is much murkier than you expect, especially compared to the clear waters of Nubu Bay.
“There should be more pipewyrms.” Namjoon comes to stand beside you, squinting at the water. When he notices your confused expression, he clarifies. “They’re attracted to light. Usually there’d be at least a few here.”
“Maybe we’re moving too fast for them.”
“No, I mean they should be attracted to the city lights.” He gestures at the port.
“Oh.” You frown, looking closer at the water. Still nothing.
You turn your gaze back to Namjoon. “You sound like you’ve spent some time looking at pipewyrms,” you tease.
“Yeah. During my internship, I made a friend who grew up here, wyrming,” Namjoon says with a nostalgic smile, staring out across the bay. “We used to go out on a mini and catch them for roasting.”
“That sounds delicious. Are you still in contact?”
“Well, I had to return home to Nubu. We got into a bit of a tiff about that.” he says ruefully, meeting your gaze. “Sometimes I wish I could see her again.”
Then he looks wistfully out toward the port. Your heart pangs as you intuit the reason. His expression can only be interpreted one way. This friend… “That would be nice,” you manage to say.
“Yeah.”
You nod and return your gaze to the city. It seems you have already been distracted from your mission. Why are you allowing a man to take your attention, when you should be focusing on your duty? Apprehension curls in your gut. Embers glow at the top of Mount Mun, the skater glides forward, the very air seems to vibrate, and you feel that all is not right in Nuje.