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No Stranger to Me
Meg and Sam looked around as they heard the sounds of the angry clash between Dean and Castiel inside.
"I believe they're playing my song." Crowley snidely commented.
Castiel continued to pummel his closed fist into Dean's bloody face as the angel tablet lay almost forgotten at this point.
"You want it? Go ahead and take it." Dean shouted at Castiel. He added, "But you'll have to kill me first. Come on you coward. Do it! Do it!"
Castiel smashed his fist into Dean again, showing no outward sign of emotion. On the inside, however, he was practically screaming at Naomi
for this to end. "Please..."
Naomi, losing her patience, "End this, Castiel!"
In unspeakable pain, Dean looked pleadingly at Castiel, eyes showing only innocence "Cas, this isn't you. This isn't you."
Castiel was nearing the breaking point. "No!"
Eye-leveling with Castiel, Naomi was unrelenting, "Bring-me-the tablet."
Almost beyond visible recognition or speech that could be understood, Dean made one last plea to the friend that was killing him, "Cas. Cas.
I know you're in there. I know you can hear me. Cas, it's me. We're family. We need you. I need you."
And with those words, Castiel stayed his hand with the angel blade drawn.
Naomi, calmly stated the cold reality to Castiel, "You have to choose, Castiel. Us or them."
"Cas..ooohh, ahhhh.." Dean moaned and grunted. He had endured so much pain at the hand of his best friend.
Dean could only watch with clouded eyes as the angel blade dropped to the ground, and Castiel retrieved the angel tablet basking
its power.
He forcibly removed himself from the grip of Naomi's tight hold over his mind. She screeched, "Castiel! Castiel!" But he was gone.
Dean spoke, barely above a whisper, "Cas."
Castiel looked at Dean's broken visage with clarity and regret. Gently and tenderly, he reached out to Dean's blood smeared face.
Anticipating more pain, Dean clamped his eyes shut and tried to look away, "No, no, Cas."
Castiel's grace flowed through Dean's body quickly restoring Dean to his best self. Castiel looked into Dean's eyes with a pained
expression. "So, sorry Dean," was all he managed to speak.
At a total loss as to what just occured, Dean asked, "What the hell just happened?"
Meanwhile, Crowley continued to close in on Sam and Meg, assessing that it was Castiel who had been "poking" his boys.
After briefly hearing without much detail that Castiel had been under the sway of other angels, Dean asked, "What broke the connection?"
Dean looked into the eyes of his friend, and Castiel, picking up the tablet again, regarded Dean and then replied, "I love you."
Castiel was gone before Dean could let go of a single breath.
Dean didn't know what he should do or even wanted to do. "Cas. Cas! Get back here you son of a bitch!"
Castiel flew as fast as he could, eratically flitting from place to place about the country and finding comfort in none. His mind had already been scrambled for months, now it was fair to say that it was completely shot. He was on the run at this point, and with nowhere to turn. He couldn't very well return to heaven unscathed. Nor could he go back to where he wanted to be: Dean, and wherever it was that he wanted to go.
He regretted not having the fortitude to stick around long enough to have seen Dean's reaction. He knew it wasn't fair the way he
dropped that kind of emotional bombshell on Dean and then just disappeared, leaving him to deal with it.
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Sam asked where Cas was on the drive back, first thing. Dean dismissed Cas's sudden disappearance as more of his now frequently unreliable behavior. It wasn't a hard sell, though Sam did wonder at Dean's withdrawn mood change. Those were never easy to pin down with Dean though, as he was not the most forthcoming with his inner thoughts.
Dean, for his part, buried what he had heard Cas say. Was it him? Did he even mean it? Was he even aware of what he said? These were questions that circled his mind but he forced silence towards. Looking at Sam, this wasn't the time to quibble back and forth between what he felt or what someone else might or might not feel for him. The trials were runningrampant repercussions upon Sam's body and they were powerless to stop it. Cas said it himself, "Sam, you are damaged in ways that even I cannot begin to heal."
Sam and Dean circled back with Kevin so that they could attempt to complete the trials that were leaving Sam a shell, eating away at him. Piece by piece.
Sam stood watching Dean in the shooting gallery at the Men of Letters Bunker. He stood watching Dean standing completely still, not having fired a shot in a while. His brother was so clearly deep in thought that Sam desperately wanted to interrupt him. To make him speak and tell him what was going on in there. He knew that it would likely start a fight or at the very least drive dean further into himself, and Sam had strength for neither. So he made to take his leave, but before he did, he spoke softly to Dean on his way out, "You should pray to him. He always listens to you."
Dean turned, startled, and left his gaze on where Sam had been standing. He contemplated for a moment, what Sam had said, and hating the feeling of transparency. He turned his attention back to the target and released the entire clip into the heart.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
A few days later, Castiel found himself sitting at lunch with Metatron. He had gone shopping for groceries as a means to try to appease Dean. Dean loves pie.
As the physically attractive waitress left their side, having taken their order, Metatron lamented his lesser appealing vessel. Although, from a third party perspective, "Marv"
had an external appearance that could definitely be construed as reflecting what was within. This further justified Castiel's initial suspicion of him; and, when Metatron next
described the sweet girl as a nephilim that needed to be murdered for the sake of all of heaven, Castiel was even more wary.
"What? She didn't ask to be a nephilim, Metatron. She is an innocent in this." Castiel firmly stated.
"That's not the point, Castiel, what's more important is what's at stake if you don't kill her." Metatron countered. When Castiel didn't respond immediately, he pressed his advance."And is this righteous defense truly that altruistic? Or is there another reason you might not want to see anyone punished for the relationship between a human and an angel?"
Castiel quickly frowned. "What makes you say that?"
"Please don't think me too forward, I know we've only just met. But your reputation of ill-favor from up there does precede you. And don't think I'm judging you harshly for it,> in fact, far from it."
Castiel balked, "But I'm not-I haven't-" Metatron continued, "It's one of the reasons I was glad we came across each other. You and I, we have one key thing in common,
and that's that we don't mind bending rules to get what we want. Who you sleep with is your own business." Metatron said, matter of factly speaking.
For the first time in a long time, and, for an angel, that is saying something, Castiel felt heat rise to his cheeks in embarrassment. Even though he didn't realize that was the word associated with what was happening, he felt it nevertheless and he looked away instinctively. Metatron smiled, gleefully "It's true isn't it. You and that Winchester boy. Oh how delightfully juicy."
Castiel regained some composure, "It's not like that at all."
Metatron looked him up and down, "If its not true, then it's just sad. You pining after him makes more sense than you actually getting him in the sack."
Castiel stood up, "I'm sorry, Metatron, I cannot continue to have this conversation."
Metatron made to follow him, but before he could get Castiel to stop or consider coming back around, Castiel was in the wind again. Perhaps more importantly, albeit unbeknownst to team free will or the players in heaven, Metatron was without an accomplice to join his illicit cause.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Turning the key to his door, returning to his lare of endless worlds constructed through words on paper, "Marv" jumped when he saw who was waiting for him.
Naomi and three other angels stared at him, Naomi began the conversation, "Hello, Scribe. Have a seat, and we will discuss what brings you out of the shadows after hiding
for so long."
Metatron eyed all three of them, gulped, and quietly closed the door in defeated submission.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dean and Sam had been hitting the books for what seemed like quite a while. Crowley was their final problem to solve. But he was certainly enough of one in his own right.
Dean cleared his throat, grabbed his beer, and made to rise.
Sam looked up from his laptop,"You ok?"
Dean nodded, "Think I might head out for a bit. Get some air, clear my head, ya know?"
Sam shook his head and softly scoffed, "Sure Dean. Fix it all with a drink and a stranger."
Even wounded from the inside, Sam refused to pull a punch. Not wanting another fight, however, Dean just said,"Whatever, Sammy. You should get some rest too. See ya later."
Dean opened the top stairwell door and was gone. Sam continued pressing forward. Maybe another twenty or thirty minutes passed by, he couldn't be sure. But at some point, Castiel appeared at the top of the stairs leading into the library. Sam looked up, noting the calm yet uncertain demeanor the angel was portraying.
"Sam, hello. Are you-alright?" Castiel began.
"Hey, Cas. I'm good. You?" Sam asked.
"I'm good as well. Is-" Castiel hesitated only for a second, but Sam already knew what the question would be.
"He just left not too long ago. Might find him at a bar." Sam said. He glanced up from his laptop again. Eyeing the truce bag in Castiel's hand, he smiled discreetly to himself.
Looking back to his laptop, he said, "Hope you find him." Hearing nothing, he fully turned his head, but Castiel was gone.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Dean sat at the top of a hill not terribly far from the bunker, overlooking the city below. It wasn't a cold night, just a little chilly. It didn't even register.
That's how Castiel found him when he approached, passing the car. His breath caught in his chest, the angel braced himself for something that was more terrifying to him than anything else he'd encountered in his long life. He was walking unknown territory, and he would have an answer in possibly seconds.
Dean looked up at him for a minute before looking back to the cityscape, taking a drink from his close to empty bottle. That was ok, there was a couple more in the impala.
And after this, he had no doubt that he would utilize the rest of them.
Castiel began, it was his responsibility. "Dean, I wanted to speak with you."
"Oh, so now you want to speak with me?" Dean asked, not too much.
When Dean didn't follow it up with anything, Castiel walked a little closer to him and then stopped. "Yes, I do. I'm sorry that I
left you before."
"Yeah, that was a blast. Can't believe you would just dump that on me and leave." Dean said.
When Castiel didn't say anything right away, Dean added, "Ya know, I take that back. I can believe it because that's what you
always do. You leave me every time." Dean shivered a little bit and crossed his arms, continuing to look out at the view.
Castiel closed the distance, standing directly behind Dean. Dean felt Castiel gently draping his trenchcoat around Dean's shoulders.
He was annoyed still, but less so, though he wasn't ready to give Castiel a pass.
Sitting next to Dean, Castiel said, "You're the last person I want to leave, Dean."
"Cas, you say that, but it's bullshit. Your actions say otherwise." Dean said, the last part betraying more hurt than he'd like.
"Dean-I wasn't ever meant to feel this way. To say that I am ill-equipped to handle this situation is an understatement." Cas said.
Dean sighed. "I know it's hard for ya, man. It's hard for me. But you gotta talk to me. Stop pulling away, or this isn't gonna work.
And I mean for us to even work together, let alone - anything else."
At that moment, an unexpected voice spoke out, "Well, Castiel. It shouldn't have ever been a challenge to find you. We should
just hunker down with this human and know you'd turn up eventually."
Dean made to stand but Castiel placed an assuring hand on his shoulder. "Let me handle this."
"Leave, Naomi. We have nothing further to discuss." Castiel said with conviction.
Noting Castiel's coat around Dean's shoulders, "I will take leave of you. But not before conveying my sincere disbelief at your choices, Castiel.
Lowering yourself to lay with this human is beyond anything we could have foreseen."
Dean felt himself growing angry and he tried to stand again, "Listen lady-"
Castiel's hand found his and he froze. Castiel's fingers interlaced with his own and he quieted.
"Naomi, this isn't something I expect someone like you to ever understand, because I do not understand it myself. I have told Dean that I love him, and
I don't know what will become of it. I don't know where I will live, but I do know that I will not be returning to heaven with you regardless of his
answer. Even at the cost of my Grace. Good night." Castiel said, turning his back on her.
"This is why we had to cleanse your mind repeatedly, Castiel. You are so arrogant in your beliefs that you think yourself above your superiors, well let
me tell you this. Your actions this time in giving yourself to this ape are unforgivable and you have transgressed upon our sacred laws. The only blessing
is that you won't sire a child with it." Naomi said, disdainfully.
Castiel stood this time and faced her. "How dare you speak about him that way, he is God's creation. And I know Dean's heart. One word from him is
worth our entire existence because he is true to his words, and no light shines brighter than his soul."
Dean could only listen in awe as he looked over his shoulder at Castiel. Before Castiel could continue, Naomi was gone. Castiel looked back at Dean and he said,
"I'm sorry she said those things about you, it doesn't reflect well upon us."
Dean didn't respond, and Castiel noticed that Dean had tears watering his eyes. He kneeled down and touched Dean's cheek with his thumb when one fell. "Dean, you
have to help me with this. I don't know what it means sometimes. Many times, actually."
Dean pressed forward, kissing Castiel. Castiel had experienced nothing like it. This was the reason God placed humans at the highest rank of all of His works.
Castiel had known this, logically, but for the first time he now understood. Could it be like this forever? Is there more?
When they pulled apart, their foreheads together, Dean said, "Don't leave me, Cas."
Cas responded truthfully, "I never will again, Dean. But where will I go at night."
Dean shyly responded, "Stay with us. With me."
"If that is what you wish, Dean. I will." Cas said.
"It is. I want that." Dean said.
"And Sam? Will he-" Cas asked.
"Sammy will be ok. After we get through this, he will be. But with us? He will be fine."
Cas smiled at him. "I'm glad. I do love your brother, I think. Though it is not the same as what I feel for you."
Dean smiled back, "I know, Cas. Kiss me again."
"Well, actually it was you that-" Cas began, but his lips were silenced by Dean's locking with his.
Dean pulled back suddenly but not too hastily as a thought struck him, "Did you mean what you said? About giving up being an angel?"
Castiel looked at him with resolve and he said,"I did mean that, Dean."
Dean sighed, "I want to show you so much. I don't have much to offer you."
"I want all of you. Of that, I am certain." Cas said, honestly.
Dean stood up, pulling Cas up with him. "Come on. Let's go home."
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The next morning, Sam sauntered his way to the kitchen for some coffee. He hadn't been keeping much down since the second trial had been completed. The third
was nearing and it required alot of his blood. He wasn't sure what more he could give, and he didn't like the feeling that Cas was around part time at best, nor
the feeling that Dean was pulling away and into himself even more.
All of that stopped when he froze at entering, and he looked in shock at the scene before him. Cas and Dean were seated at the table, leaned over, the plate of pie half eaten and now forgotten. The two of them were definitely more engrossed in each other than anything else.
When the kiss grew to something too heated for him to stare without having a reaction, he cleared his throat to announce his presence.
Dean and Cas snapped back. "Sammy." Dean said.
"Hello, Sam. Dean and I were just kissing." Cas stated facts, as always. Dean put a hand over his head.
"I caught that, Cas, thank you." Sam said.
Since there was no need to beat around a bush, Sam asked, "Dean, I have to say, this is a surprise."
"Yeah well, wipe that stupid grin off your face." Dean said, irritated at his brother's gotcha look.
"Can't help it. I'm really happy with this." Sam said.
"I am happy too, Sam. I have never felt this way before, and I am new at it." Cas said.
"It's ok, Cas. Dean hasn't either, you are in the same boat there. You can figure it out together." Sam added.
Dean cleared his throat, "Well, if you two ladies are done with the chick flick, I'm gonna go grab some shut eye. We need to be on our a-game for Crowley."
"I will watch over you, Dean." Cas said.
Sam just smiled.