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Aziraphale is currently dragging a 10 foot long snake up to his bedroom on top of the bookstore. At least Crowley had the decency to shrink down from a 65 foot snake to a size that was easier to move. He didn't have the decency to turn back into his human form, though. Nor did he care enough to get up the stairs himself.
In fact, Crowley would have been happy enough to still be on the floor of the shop turning himself into an Ouroboros until his anger faded.
Halfway up the stairs, Aziraphale once again tries to plea for his friend to stop hurting himself. "Crowley, please . It was just a misunderstanding, there's no need for you to do this."
The serpent bit down his tail some more.
With a sigh, he continued on to the top of the stairs through a doorway and finally released him once the bed was fully under his red and black scales.
"It seems like you're not going to listen to reason anytime soon."
H ssss
The angel glares at the muffled hiss. "Well there's no need for that language!"
Honestly, he hasn't a clue what was said in that hiss, or in most of the hisses, but he assumed it was something angry.
This is how it always goes when Crowley is too overwhelmed with negative emotions, he becomes too tense to do anything but hurt himself and turn into a snake. Aziraphale had learned over the years how to make him relax enough to go to sleep because that's the quickest way for the demon to understand his feelings and wake up back to normal with awkward, well meaning apologies. Through trial and error, he basically perfected how to get Crowley out of an episode within 5 hours.
It's quite time consuming. He still loves him, non the less.
Aziraphale takes a deep calming breath before kissing the snakes' head. This is going to be a slow process, knowing how long the demon will hold on to negative feelings, but worth it.
"Rest my dear, I'll be nearby if you need me."
Sss
Aziraphale smiled before walking out the door and turning off the light, leaving a crack in the door in case that the snake would like to leave. He then prepared himself to get comfortable sitting outside the door.
He read for about two hours before he got up to check in on the serpent. He was still in the exact same spot but less of his tail is in his mouth. Improvement!
"Hello my dear, did you have a nice nap?"
Ssss
"Good to hear! Would you like a bath?"
No response besides him repeating biting himself. The angel took it as a yes ,since he was going to make him a bath anyway, and walked off to the attached bathroom and ran the water. It was a bath of extremely hot water and a touch of lavender scented bubbles. He then added a wide bucket bottom side up that was still submerged underwater.
Now it's time to get Crowley. He turns to find said snake sitting behind him, facing away like he's pouting at the fact that he made it easier for the angel to grab. "Thank you, my dear." He easily picked up the scaly creature, who made themselves much lighter than before, and placed him on top of the bucket so that only part of the snake is partly soaked, the head, while the rest is under the warm liquid.
"Relax and I'll go reset the bed." He said with one more kiss on his head before walking out the room and closing the door.
He only pulled the blankets back so it would be easier to put Crowley under the covers. He then went over to the dresser to pull out black silk pajamas and boxers and laid it on the bed .
A glance at the clock on the wall told him that he needed to wait another 30 minutes before going back to the bathroom. He used that time to make a small meal.
He returned with chicken soup and tea that he placed on the nightstand. Aziraphale then opened the bathroom door to see a blushing Crowley, now in a human form, sulking in the tub with the bucket sitting outside the tub completely dry. The end goal was near, but not here quite yet. He was instead biting his tail in the humanoid form, sharpened teeth to dig into the tough flesh.
"Would you like me to wash your hair?"
The demon silently nodded as he impossibly slid further down into the tub. He must be using a miracle because the bathtub isn't big enough for him to lay down in without his legs hanging out, but he's clearly still submerged.
Aziraphale gathered the supplies needed and sat down on the bucket to begin washing his hair.
"Oh look at you, " he said as he dumped water over his head ,"You've stressed yourself out so much that you're getting wrinkles! I know how much you care about your appearance, dear, and this simply won't do." Adding shampoo , he began to massage his head, receiving a soft growl in return. " Oh that's an idea. Would you like me to give you a massage later?" Washing out the shampoo, he added the conditioner and resumed massaging his head." Then after that I'll watch whatever you like on the telly or listen to your beep-bop." He washed out the last of the soap and tilted his head up to look into the yellow eyes "There, isn't that better?" He noticed that the teeth aren't sharp anymore and how droopy his eyes I've gotten. "You look more like your nonchalant self. Could you go get changed while I clean this up?"
Crowley nodded slowly before getting out and walking to the bedroom, his tail was on the edge of falling out of his mouth.
The bathroom was cleaned in a literal snap. He didn't plan on Crowley drifting off so quickly. He usually had to trick him to let go of his tail to eat something with meat so he could still chew on something and a message if he's really stubborn about falling asleep.
Leaving the bathroom, he finds Crowley laying face down on top of the covers in his pajamas, his tail next to his head looking like a well used chew toy. A soft snore leaving his mouth.
"I made it as easy as possible for you to get under the covers and you still do this?" He sighed as he went to quickly heal the injured tail and gently tucked the demon into bed before climbing in on the other side. Once comfortably in place, he lightly pets the red head and gives him a small blessing of good dreams while he continues to read his book.
He may love his demon but he sure can be an idiot at times.
Really , thought Aziraphale, all of this over sushi?
