Actions

Work Header

Love of My Life, Bane of My Existence

Summary:

Two lovers, forbidden from one another... wait a second, that’s not the right song...
A Princess Bride AU where Cloud is the son of the local baker and Zack is a blacksmith’s apprentice.

Notes:

Earlier today I had the realization that you can take Cloud, Zack, Tifa, and Aerith and swap them around however you like and the pairing fits The Princess Bride almost perfectly for each one! I wanted to tweet that idea but then realized that nobody would see it and write it for me, so I’m impulsively posting this first chapter of this first story.

Chapter 1

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Cloud Strife was raised in the small town of Nibelheim. Nobody ever wanted to go to Nibelheim, and if you lived there you spent the majority of your life trying to leave. One of the teachers in the local schoolhouse was known to tell his students that, “95% of people born in Nibelheim, die in Nibelheim.” This of course upset the children immensely, who would then try for the next 5 years to get a career that got them out of town.

Being secluded up in the mountains left the residents with but a few choices when it came to career paths. You see, Nibelheim didn’t get any new residents, generations were born, worked alongside their parents, took over for their parents when they died, and had children to teach their profession to so whenever they died there would be someone capable of continuing the family business (orchard/smithy/tailor shop/store/etc...) that they could leave the property to after they inevitably died.

The only noteworthy events to stir up the townsfolk were festivals and caravans. The fact that these two wildly different occurrences are mentioned in the same sentence should tell you exactly how horribly boring and unexciting Nibelheim is.

For 14 year old Cloud, one was vastly more exciting than the other, as one brought a young blacksmiths apprentice (along with his master, but he was not the priority) to the town for a few days a month.
Not that he would ever TELL the tall dark haired young man that his laugh made his knees weak, or that his smile kept him up at night, or the way he said his name, “Cloud! Good to see you!” Made him feel like he was going to faint. No, that’s ridiculous. He would NEVER tell him that, never tell ANYONE that. He is the love of his life and the bane of his existence! So Cloud kept quiet, kept conversation brief and impersonal, and kept his emotions buried deep deep down where they would never see the light of day.

And that worked for a few years. Until it didn’t.

Now aged 16, Cloud still didn’t like people prying into his business. He was still unsociable to all but a few townsfolk, and even those lonely few couldn’t get him to stay and chat with them if they ran into him out and about.

There was no hiding the soft smile when he walked past the forge, the longing looks at the single road that led out of town, or the tremble in his hands when he marked off the calendar in his mother’s kitchen.

Claudia Strife got very good at hiding smiles in her morning coffee as her son carefully counted out the days that remained until the day marked with a little doodle of a puppy. She still wasn’t practiced in hiding her grin when Cloud would refuse to go to the market once a month, and linger in the store with her rearranging the bakery items with such an intense and singleminded focus. Not that he would notice the corners of her eyes crinkling in mirth as she spotted a tall figure racing across the town square towards the front of the bakery, only the chime of the front door with jolt him out of his thoughts just in time for a pair of muscular arms to spin him around and sweep him off his feet with a joyful laugh.

“Oh Cloud,” Claudia thought as her son tried to hide his reddening cheeks as he was swept into the air by his beau, “you’re an open book sweetheart.”


If someone were to ask Zack Fair what his long term goals were, he wouldn’t have a good answer. It had just recently come to his attention that despite the secure and eventually profitable career he had picked out, being a blacksmith was not a sure fire way to secure his fortune. Having a profitable job in a humble village surrounded by tiny villages, within a weeks journey of an almost medium sized town, was not the same as having a good income. In his village he would make decent money, but that wouldn’t happen as long as his uncle and mentor still had a thriving business and the town smithy. And the decent money he could make as a blacksmith in Gongaga, was not the same as making decent money in Wutai or Cosmo Canyon, let alone bigger cities.

Zack realized this array of facts after hearing a friend bemoan not being able to afford a house in Kalm and having to stay with distant family there until he could provide for his fiancée. He wasn’t paying that much attention to the story as a whole, and was shocked that he even got that much information from his friend.

Although in Zack’s case it was less of a realization and more of a sledgehammer to the throat. “Gongaga has a blacksmith, Nibelheim has a blacksmith, I am NOT going to drag Cloud away from his only remaining family just so I can be useful. Married or not!”

And that was when another sledgehammer made itself comfortable deep in his stomach. “Wait, would Cloud even want to marry me? Does he want to marry me? How much does it cost to get married? Does he even believe in marriage? Wait, do I even believe in marriage?” That careening train of thought led the normally cheerful and positive young man from leaving a one-sided conversation, to the position of laying flat on his face with his upper body sprawled across his workbench in the forge. Every idea he would come up with and summarily disregard led his thoughts into a deeper spiral of confusion and misery.

Whatever happens, I can’t make things harder for Cloud. I love him too much to even make him have to choose, I don’t want him to go through that.”

And that brings him to his current location, laying on the rooftop of Nibelheim’s bakery, staring up at the stars with Cloud laying so close to him that he could feel his body heat. A few inches closer and their arms would be touching.

Focus Zack.

‘Cloud, I love you. Will you marry me?’

‘Cloud, I want to marry you, but we’ve never talked about this before now and I wanted to know if you wanted to marry me, or if you even wanted to get married.’

’Cloud, I panicked about marriage and realized I won’t be able to provide and support you in the best way possible so I decided to do something else.’

‘Would I look hot with glowing eyes?’

’I love you bro.’ 

That last one made him flinch internally and shudder, which didn’t escape his companion’s attention.

“Cold already? I thought you said you didn’t get cold?” Cloud’s teasing voice was tinged with a faint undertone of worry, which was obvious to anyone who knew him well. And considering how far down his throat Zack’s tongue has been, he‘d say that he knows him pretty damn well. 

“I said that it gets colder in that Icicle Inn place than here,” unable to back down that easily, Zack rolled over to face him, “and I wasn’t super cold there so I said that I don’t need a jacket now!” 

Cloud exhaled quickly through his mouth, which counted as a laugh in Zack’s book, and turned his head to lock eyes with him, hesitating for a moment upon realizing how close they were to each other.

Zack couldn’t take his eyes off of him. The spikes of his blonde hair were smushed down against the roof shingles and the light color seemed to glow in the darkness of the sleeping town. His eyes traced the lips that seemed to always be in a soft frown, wishing that what he was about to say wouldn’t cause it to deepen. Who knew how long until he’d see Cloud smile again.

”You also haven’t asked to cuddle, or pulled me into a ’oh so sneaky’ hug yet.” His eyes hardened slightly. “Zack, what’s going on?”

Fuck.

Zack slowly reached out to touch his face, wanting to touch the love of his life one last time before he possibly ruined everything, but he hesitated. His hand froze only millimeters away from Cloud’s cheek, fingers curling back as he withdrew and rolled onto his back. 

“Promise you’ll stay and listen, Cloud please promise me you’ll stay.” Swallowing down a sob, he kept his voice as even as possible. Gods, what if he doesn’t understand, and hates me? What will I do?

“I love you Zack.”

Warm fingers intertwined with his own and gave a gentle squeeze. It’s funny, Zack mused, how something so small can boost your confidence and somehow break your heart at the same time. 

“Tell me.”

A loud exhale. The stars are so beautiful this far north. 

”I have to leave. I’m going to join SOLDIER.”

 

Notes:

I’ll go back and do edits in like a day but I just wanted to post it before I died an untimely death. Will I get them all done someday? Maybe? Who knows?

Chapter 2

Summary:

The unfortunate occurrence of a goodbye, and Chekhov’s true love enters the plot.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

A few days had passed in Nibelheim, and if you were to ask the rest of Gaia you would receive strange looks and confirmation that yes, a few days had indeed passed... now please leave you’re upsetting the children.

And as much of an occasion that the arrival and stay of the trading caravans were in Nibelheim, not much thought was given to their departure. Some local hunters would be awake to safely escort the travelers for the first few hours of their trip. For the mountain paths of Nibelheim were dangerous in good conditions, and traversing them in the dark before the sun breached the mountaintops was a risky venture. But the local guides were good and the merchants sure footed, so barring extraordinary occurrences, it was a smooth trip.

Zack Fair was not thinking about the long trip down the mountain, or the fact that he hadn’t slept and Angeal had for sure noticed the bags under his eyes. He was definitely not thinking about how he still had to tell his parents (or not tell them, always have options) that he was going to leave the western continent and sail across the sea to become a SOLDIER.

No, Zack was currently thinking about how Cloud‘s head (excluding hair spikes) fit perfectly under his chin, and how easy it is to fully envelope his boyfriend in his arms and tuck his head into his neck when they hugged. Or when Cloud was sprawled across his chest in bed late at night, burying his face in Zack’s neck while trying to stay quiet. Things like that.

He had thought about this one particular part of their relationship often in the past, for obvious reasons which if have to be revealed, relate to the libido of two teenagers in a long distance relationship. But the reason that it was fixated in his mind was heartbreaking to the young man.

The next time he saw Cloud, his love wouldn’t fit perfectly under his chin, his fingers might not interweave perfectly with his, they could be completely different people.

Zack really doesn’t want to come back a completely different person.

Unfortunately, that gnawing fear only grew in the pit of his stomach as his eyes caught sight of the achingly familiar figure making it’s way over to where he stood waiting. Gods he wanted to kiss him.

hnnghhhh“

Cloud’s eyes blinked sleepily as he stared at the face in front of him, a very handsome face that was frozen in a dopey expression and blinking in shock.

“Was that supposed to be a good morning?”

 


A pair of young lovers stood underneath a tree on a small hill, silently basking in each other’s presence. This was not optimal for the two of them, and definitely not for the dark haired older man waiting at the village gates.

Angeal had watched his nephew act like a fool since he was 13 years old, trying to catch the attention of the baker’s son. Practicing jokes and vibrating with excitement for the entirety of their long trip into the mountains, and pouting like a kicked puppy on their long trip home.

Since the two of them had finally, finally gotten their heads screwed on properly a few years back, Angeal had not had to deal with the sad blubbering puddle that was dejected Zack mooning over, “his Cloudy Sky”. And he didn’t want to deal with that ever again, so if his dumbapple of an apprentice didn’t finish his goodbyes properly he’d have to explain to his sister why her only son had been left behind in Nibelheim.

If any of the other merchants from Gongaga or Cosmo Canyon had been watching the blacksmith while they finished their preparations, they would have noticed him pull a strange and discolored apple from his pack, toss it lightly, before turning and hurling it with remarkable accuracy toward a nearby hilltop. But they didn’t, and even if they had he probably had a good reason for getting rid of that fruit, as it didn’t look ripe and had maybe gone bad.

And they definitely didn’t notice the sharp yell that came from said hilltop.

 


Zack didn’t realize that it was apple season, or that this was an apple tree! But after catching a glimpse of the loaded caravan at the gates after being struck in the head, he realized how truly lucky he is that they were saying their goodbyes under said tree. And on the subject of goodbyes...

Turning back to Cloud, Zack slid his hands up his delicate wrists to grasp at his forearms. He relaxed his grip as he sighed heavily, tracing nonsensical patterns into Cloud’s skin with his thumbs before lifting his gaze.

“Cloud, I need to finish telling you what I meant to say last night, I’m gonna say a lot so I’m sorry if I don’t make sense.” Clear blue eyes met his steadily, but not before he caught a flicker of fear and anxiety in them. As upsetting to see that he caused Cloud any kind of distress, it was a hollow relief for Zack to see that he wasn’t the only one that was nervous and dreading this.

“The next time I’ll see you, we’ll be... we’ll be different people.” His words hung in the still morning air before being smothered in the heavy silence pressing down onto them. The weight was almost palpable, like if humidity was an emotion, sticky and heavy on your shoulders and neck.

Just get the words out, if you aren’t brave enough to tell Cloudy you’re afraid how will you ever be brave enough to be a SOLDIER?’ Good fucking question.

“Will you still love me if I’m different? I don’t want to change so much that you don’t love the person I become. I don’t want to you to realize that you don’t need to wait for me, that you could be someone different, someone else without me.” The words spilled uncontrollably from his mouth like a broken pipe and his heartbeat pounding behind his eyes as his sight went in and out of focus.

“I want to be with you forever, I promised I would be, and then I proposed! And I don’t expect an answer because we hadn’t discussed it at all! But I- I don’t want to be out of your life, I don’t want to become someone you can’t love! I don’t want you to not need me like I need you, I can’t, Cloud I love you so goddamn much I can’t- I can’t!”

Lights spun and flashed wildly behind Zack’s eyes as he squeezed them shut and a high pitched whining grew in his ears as his jaw began to ache from pressure.

Wait, when did he close his eyes? 

The sensory explosion of being trapped in his own head was cut short by hands grasping the sides of his face with a light slap. Vibrant blue eyes shot open with a sharp inhale, and locked onto Cloud. Cloud!

Delicate thumbs pressed lightly at his jawbone, gently stroking downwards until his jaw slowly unclenched itself and the ringing faded from his ears. His eyes darted back and forth, taking in every detail of Cloud’s face as he slowly leaned in and pressed his forehead against his own, breathing slow and measured.

Looking back, Zack would realize the irony in Cloud helping him calm down like that, as he had been the one to help the spiky haired blonde deal with many a panic attack in the past that way. But in the present he was only focused on the warmth of Cloud’s forehead against his own, how he could feel his breath on his skin, and how gently Cloud held him, their positions reversed, being the delicate one for once. 

He didn’t know how long it took for his breathing to even out, but his breathing eventually began to slow. With his lightheaded ness fading, Zack quietly enjoyed the moment he had found himself in, just appreciating being held so gently by someone who almost never instigates physical affection.

“Zack Fair, shut the fuck up.” Zack’s eyes shot open as Cloud pulled his head back and glared with slightly watery eyes right at him. “You know, you know I hate talking, and emotions, and yet...”

The grip that Cloud had on his jaw tightened to a firm grip, there would be no squirming away from him. A small part of Zack was delighted in the fact that the love of his life was using all the ‘annoying’ tricks that HE had used throughout their relationship on him! The rest of him was awed, scared, and aroused... in any particular order.

“Zack, listen to me. I remember meeting you the first time your uncle brought you to town. You were eleven and I didn’t like you, at all, you were the bane of my existence and seemingly enjoying it. Zack, it’s been years since then, you weren’t perfect then, you aren’t perfect now, but you changed and grew into someone completely different. And I have loved every iteration of you that I’ve met. I loved you when you were 13, I love you now, and I will continue to love you even if you are a completely different person, you absolute idiot”

...

”Bro did you know that in seven years all the cells in your body have been replaced by entirely new ones? So you are an entirely different person.”

“Did you just. Call me bro? You’re panicking about leaving me for two years and my fiancé has the audacity to just call me bro? I just reaffirmed my love for you and you just-”

‘Oh my god.’

Seeing the shell shocked look on Zack, Cloud reached into the neck of his shirt with a surly and embarrassed expression on his face and pulled out a chain on which dangled a simple silver ring. 

“I don’t want you to leave, I never want you to leave.” A blush rose on his pale cheeks as Zack continued to stare at him, mouth agape.

“This is a promise that you’re coming back. You promised me that you’ll come back to me. I know I didn’t say much before, but you’re... you’re doing this for us. And I can’t begrudge you that, even if I wish I could. I love you Zack.” He was crying now, his fist trembling as he held the ring to his chest, tears streaming down his cheeks.

”Cloud... I promised that nothing will keep me from coming back to you. I know that our love is true love, and nothing in the universe can stop it.”

And then a beat of silence, the whole mountain seeming to hold its breath as the two gazed at each other, eyes burning with emotion. Then in the blink of an eye the two teens were intertwined so tightly that there couldn’t have been even an iota of space between them. Grasping at each other’s bodies and hands fisting in the other’s hair, they gasped familiar words to each other, an endearing tradition, a familiar greeting, a promise to always return to the other. 

“Love of my life.” 

“Bane of my existence.”

 

Notes:

Chapter 2 already? How?? Well it’s because I’m not spell checking, rereading, or editing any of it. Eagle eyed readers might catch that I love commas and really long sentences!

Fun fact, the phrase “Love of my life, bane of my existence” was coined by me when my childhood dog would get my attention to let her outside and then stand in the doorway unmoving when I opened the door for her.

It’s short for, ‘I love you so fucking much and I will never hurt you but why the fuck do you do this thing’

Chapter 3

Summary:

We explore the mythos of a certain Dread Pirate and everybody is sad for obvious reasons.

Notes:

Now we get to the part where I actually have to sit and plan what the hell im doing. This chapter is short because I made myself sad writing it, next chapter is already longer! Spot the bits from the book that I erm... pay homage to...

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

As is the case with any powerful figure, accounts of the Dread Pirate are conflicting. This is due to the widely held belief that he leaves no survivors. Out of all the stories told of the Dread Pirate, this is the consistent detail that not only fuels his notoriety, but aids in his mythos. Because if nobody’s ever survived an encounter with the man and his crew of ruthless murderers, he could look like anyone’s worst nightmare.

If your cousin’s childhood best friend was launched off the splintering deck of a ship by the impact of a hundred cannons and flung into the water, surviving only by sheer luck of being overlooked as another corpse floating in the sea due to the splintered bit of mast that had pierced their side, that’s a possible yet unlikely situation. So was the rumored tale of the rigger who survived their fall from the toppling mast by lashing themself to the corpse of their friend, letting the body take the impact of the waves and then hiding under their floating corpse when the enemies scoured the waves for survivors.

The statistical outliers who told these tales didn’t last long after they were rescued. Some were lucky enough to make it to shore only to succumb to their injuries, leaving only gruesome tales and vague yet terrifying descriptions of the Dread Pirate and his crew.

A looming figure wielding a massive weapon, to large for any mortal, who could walk through the carnage and flames of destruction and come out uninjured. From that point on the details got muddled.

His eyes glowed at night as by magic.

He wielded a weapon that sliced the ship in twain.

He could summon the power of the gods to fight alongside him.

He fought blindfolded, never faltering or missing a target.

He caused explosions with a flick of his arm.

He was actually a beautiful woman with eyes as cold as the northern winds.

That last one was wildly ignored, but the common thread remained. The Dread Pirate left no survivors, it was more of a promise than a warning. The gunner who clung to a floating barrel after two days of floating out in the elements knew that he wouldn’t survive, but if he could just warn someone else, anyone else, his suffering would be worth it.

 


Six months after the dark haired teen who held the other half of his heart had left, merchants were spotted camping father down the mountain. The monthly visits of the merchants that brought such joy and light to his life had arrived, and Zack’s uncle had been a small comfort during his last visits, telling the quiet teen and his mother of embarrassing stories about his nephew when he stopped into the bakery. He would sometimes have letters for the village that the postman was more than happy to let him deliver in their stead, not wanting to make the long journey into the mountains if they didn’t need to. 

On this occasion, the man had the town’s mail and postage. He also had a letter sent from one of his old friends who lived on the Eastern Continent that used to work for SOLDIER. Due to the dangerous lives that SOLDIERs led, the army was very careful about investigating events before confirming deaths and fatalities. Nobody wanted to be told that their family member had died, spend a month mourning and grieving and have their life ruined, only to then be sent a letter apologizing and correcting the false report a month later.

You know what happens when you assume something, you grieve your family member only for them to show up out of the blue 15 years later looking stronger than ever with nothing but a story of amnesia and an apology  for you before settling down to become the local blacksmith... and it makes an ass out of you and me.

It was due to this delay in communication, which in Angeal’s sister’s opinion would have spared their family over a decade of grief, that the man had been more distant than usual on his last visit to Nibelheim a month ago, not that Cloud had noticed anything amiss. In a moment of confidence with Claudia after her son left to go read Zack’s letters in privacy, he warned the ever perceptive woman of the situation and made her promise not to tell her son.

 

"Pirates," the dark haired man slumped over her kitchen table, his eyes staring blankly down at his fingers.

"He's been taken prisoner then?" Claudia barely managed to make her uncooperative lips form words.

"It was... The Dread Pirate."

"Oh," Hope fled her heart as quickly as her breath escaped her lungs. “The one who never leaves survivors. Oh my gods...”

 

And so Claudia braced herself for the worst, preparing to support and protect her son, her little baby, through whatever came through those doors. Even sending him out for his deliveries like normal was a Herculean task. Fixing a gentle smile on her face, she’d wave him off, only for that smile to freeze as she stared at his retreating back, a deep ache in her chest begging her to run after him and hide him away in her arms where he’d be safe.

But she didn’t. She waited and prepared and prayed that it would be unfounded.

“I know you well enough to be sure that you wouldn’t have warned me if you didn’t think it was true.”

 


Cloud knew that Zack was dead before his letters stopped arriving.

Losing the love of your life, your other half, the person you were going to spend the rest of your life with... it hollows you out. Any time that you go to reach for that warm feeling that they kindled in your soul, you grasp at smoke.

When Cloud got up the courage to leave his bedroom for the first time in over a week, it was in the middle of the night. His mother had long since gone to bed, and the house was silent as the young man slowly made his way to the kitchen. At the sight of the wooden table that he had eaten at nearly every day of his life, he froze in place. The center of the lovingly polished wood was obscured by a small pile of letters, the uniform and colorless envelopes marked with achingly familiar penmanship.

Could he even read these? Cloud wanted to rip them to shreds, how dare they taunt him with the words of a Zack that is still alive. How dare they pretend to give him love and support from a still beating heart.

But... how could he not read one of Zack’s letters. He had written it not out of obligation or to fill time, but to express his love and keep Cloud from missing out on a part of his life that he couldn’t physically be there for.

They would never be together again...

When half of your existence is missing, life shouldn’t make you to go on normally as if nothing has changed.

Thankfully Cloud had people around him who cared and supported him, not that he wanted it at the time. But when he looks back at those time he can barely remember through the fog of sadness and grief that gripped him, he appreciates his mother’s constant and steady presence by his side, keeping him grounded. Keeping him from drowning in his sorrow.

Zack’s uncle only stayed with the caravan for a few more months before stopping his traveling. Cloud didn’t blame him, but he did at the time, for taking away the only connection he had to Zack that wasn’t a letter or his ring. The ring that Zack had made for him and nervously presented to him that night on the roof.

And the years went on, as they tend to in most places in the universe. Cloud began to continue on, never moving on, just continuing. Some days he felt like drowning and other days he would just float, but he would never pull himself out of the water.

Until one day, five years later, which did nothing to help Cloud’s emotional state or grieving, it just changed everything else in his life drastically.

Notes:

I’ve rewritten this so many times and I’m still not 100% pleased, or even 80%. I planned to post this two days ago, but I keep over planning these things and then I remembered, as the princess bride played on the tv, that literally only Zack and cloud have to be in specific roles. I can do whatever the fuck I want with everyone else.

I’m so excited now omg

Chapter 4

Summary:

And thus it begins...

Notes:

If the original book didn’t want me to steal lines of dialogue and edit them to suit my personal needs, it shouldn’t have been such a good book!

Chapter Text

Prince Rufus Shinra didn’t want to get married. What he wanted was to fill his time hunting with his loyal hound, plotting to take over the world with his fiercely loyal bodyguards, and eventually ascend the throne to fulfill said dream of taking over the world.

And unfortunately, it was brought to his attention one day that in order to assume the throne, he would have to be married.

“I can’t assume the throne unless I get married?” The outrage was clear in his voice, almost childish in its whine. The speaker was undoubtably not a child.

“Yes, it seems so.”

“Damn, I guess I have to get married. Earlier than expected unfortunately.”

 

And then he didn’t.

 

The father of the Prince of Midgar, who many may know as the King of Midgar, was half as cunning as his son, and less than half as ambitious. So when he saw his son begin to covertly search for a spouse, he immediately decided that he would be as helpful as he could, and assigned his son a new freshly trained guard who would be a help to the prince and his new wife.

Wife.

Elena, the newest member of the Turks stood beside her compatriots as their Prince paced in his office. She didn’t know how she was to be of any help fulfilling the King’s orders, so she had spent the last month waiting for the Prince to give her new orders.

Or even better, conflicting orders.

“Are you going to give us orders or just keep wearing a hole in the floor?” Her heart froze in her chest for a hot second as her exact thoughts were said aloud, praying that she hadn’t accidentally spoken. A quick glance around the room showed the Prince throwing a dagger towards Reno, who ducked as it clattered against the stone wall behind him.

The enormous form of Dark Nation slunk our from behind the desk and growled, his jaws glistening with dripping saliva as he prowled to the side of his master.

"I'll tell you what I want," he began slowly, stopping to give the enormous dog ear scritches. "I want someone who is so gorgeous, so ethereal and superb, that when you see them you think, 'The Prince must be nothing short of perfect to have such a stunning human being marrying them.”

“Why are you all still standing here? Now go.”

And they did. I shan’t bore you with the exploits of the Turks as they slunk from town to town, or of which of them was the best at handling the long sea voyages that brought them to the far corners of the kingdom. Why? Because the Turks are first and foremost bodyguards and professional bad guys, they are not good at objectively identifying beauty, or even if they were, they were unable to agree.

So after returning to the castle to regroup and plan, they were interrupted by the Not-Miracle Man Hojo. Miracle Men helped people, and that’s why the inhabitants of the castle secretly made the distinction that the so called ‘Professor’ was certainly NOT a Miracle Man.

 

“Have you checked Nibelheim.”

“What the fuck is a Nibelheim?”

“A mountain town, in the mountains. Across the sea. Perfect place to dump bodies so that they are never found again and leave to trace of evidence leading to you.”

While the Turks were mildly off-put by the Professor’s description, they were also the kind of people who, from time to time, were in need of places to dump bodies. Unfortunately for the Turks, their Prince had found out about their empty-handed return and demanded that he accompany them to this ‘Nibelheim’ place. If not to keep from returning empty handed once again, then to at the very least keep them on task.

 


The sun rose over the village of Nibelheim, village being a word which was scoffed at by the prince when it was used to describe the aforementioned, “ loose collection of... shacks? 

“But a single one cannot possibly be larger than my master bedroom! Do people truly live like this Tseng?”

“Yes your Highness.”

Eughh! Truly barbaric!”

“Yes your Highness.”

The two men sat on horseback on a ridge overlooking the town proper, not that the Prince referred to it as such. Tseng, the head Turk under the Prince Rufus, had been told by his underlings of a young man who lived in the town who was supposed to be remarkably beautiful. And so the two of them waited as the sun peaked through the mountains for this beautiful person to begin his daily routine. For this young man stuck to a schedule that he followed every single day that they had previously observed him, two weeks worth of observing.

“Are you sure that this baker’s boy is good enough?” If Tseng permitted himself to show emotions in front of the Prince he would be bristling with annoyance. But alas, he could only convey it using his voice.

“At least lay eyes on him before you dismiss him completely. Highness.”

“If you think I came all this way to leave before even seeing this person, you don’t know me very w—“ And his words died on his tongue as his eyes were struck at the sight of the early morning sunlight lit up the stunningly beautiful figure that made its way across the town square.

“Your squad is getting a raise.” He bit out as he righted his position astride his mount. “Don’t follow me I’m busy.” And the Prince spurred his mount on down the path towards where the young man was headed, intercepting him quite easily as horses are much faster than humans.

Prince Rufus abruptly stopped his horse with a finesse and skill that went appreciated by the blonde in front of him that had unknowingly narrowly avoided being trampled, “I am your Prince and you will marry me."

Cloud, the aforementioned blonde if you hadn’t caught on, stared blankly at the imposing future in front of him. "Thats insane, I refuse." 

"I am your Prince and you cannot refuse."

"I am a peasant in a fringe territory and I just did."

"Refusal means death."

"Kill me then. Does it look like I give a motherfuck?” Now that the Prince looked closely, the young man’s eyes were incredibly lifeless. Beautiful, but empty.

"I am your Crown Prince, Rufus of Shinra and truly I'm not all that bad— I actually just gave my bodyguards a raise! How on Gaia would you rather be dead than married to me?"

"Marriage involves love, and the only man I’ll ever love is dead— gone from this world never to return. I will love him eternally with every fiber of my being, and I have sworn to him and to myself, never to love another."

“That’s depressing, but I don’t need you to love me, I just need you to marry me so I can ascend the throne without breaking not only the law, but my poor father’s heart. I don’t need blood heirs at the moment— obviously. So, after my aging father passes the throne to me we can get our marriage annulled or stay married as acquaintances.” Now little did Cloud know that Rufus has not only broken the law and his father’s heart in the past, but was currently breaking AND planning to break them both in the future.

“I'll never love you."

"I wouldn't want your love even if I had it."

“Just... let me tell my mother goodbye.”

 

Series this work belongs to: