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Harry approached the roof-top. A cool yet comfortable breeze hit his face; a small, periodical chill barely noticeable, although he couldn't quite dismiss the abruptness of its manifestation. Peter had asked him to meet for a nighttime patrol for the first time in weeks, and though he was overjoyed to see his friend again, Harry couldn't disregard his growing bitterness, his suppressed feelings of abandonment, which threatened to subvert the superficial happiness he displayed. The sight of his best friend was both relieving and disappointing, to put it simply. A faint smile crossed Harry's lips, undeniably happy to see Peter. Harry knew of course that it was Peter under that mask, but it didn't help that he couldn't see his face; survey his endlessly green eyes.
Harry inwardly sighed, feeling his face drop slightly as he reached the roof-top. He attempted to keep his smile and content expression for the sake of his friend. The change in Harry's face wasn't much, but it was enough. And unfortunately for him, Peter knew him too well.
"Hey, Harry! Harry?"
Peter frowned, taking notice of the hesitation and noticeable heaviness in his friend's fading smile.
"You okay?"
Harry didn't want to start something with Peter now, he hadn't seen him in far too long. He wanted more than anything to have a nice time with his friend. He wanted to say he was fine. But he couldn't. It wasn't true. Before he knew it, he had already said too much.
"You're spending all your free time with MJ now, huh?"
Peter took off his mask, taken aback by Harry's outburst. Peter didn't know what he was expecting, but it sure wasn't that.
Harry had taken notice of Peter's shock, but continued regardless. Harry made up his mind. He was going to address this here and now. His expression hardened, his eyebrows furrowing slightly as he met Peter's now visible emerald eyes.
Harry momentarily shut his eyes, finding it far too difficult to keep his gaze on Peter.
"What about me?"
He paused, his face stiffening in dreadful realization. Tears threatened to form in the corners of his eyes, a lump developed in his throat, making it increasingly difficult to continue.
"Do you even still care about me?"
He managed to choke out the question after letting out a shaky breath he didn't know had been building up. He reluctantly opened his eyes once more, his head down, focussing on the detailing on his shoe. He was terrified of completely breaking down at the sight of Peter's face.
An uncomfortable silence filled the space between them as Harry's preceding words lingered in the air. He just couldn't look Peter in the eye now. Minutes ago he would've given the world to look into his friends eyes. Minutes ago he would've found comfort in them. He could have taken one glance, and known that everything was okay. But now, he couldn't bring himself to face Peter's concerned, shaken gaze. He didn't need to. The hurt imminent Peter's voice said it all.
"I... Harry, I'm sorry. You were so busy with Oscorp! There was no time to-"
Peter trailed off, his frustration rising. He didn't know the right words to continue. Of course he cared about Harry. He didn't realize his friend had any doubts. The thought tore him apart. Peter hadn't known how long he had been in his thoughts until the sudden sound of Harry's voice broke the silence, letting him know that he was out of time to find the words he truly wanted to say.
"You're wrong! I would have made time for you! I always do! Since when has that been an issue for us?!"
Harry's voice had risen higher than he liked, but he couldn't find it within himself to lower it, knowing that the strength he displayed within it was the only thing keeping him from losing it altogether. The tears now navigating his cheeks were no help, but he couldn't stop them. Taking another shaky breath, he continued, the strength in his voice inevitably giving out as he spoke quietly,
"That doesn't change the fact that you'd rather spend time with her than me! You said your loyalty was to me! I thought you cared about me! I thought..."
'I thought you loved me'
Peter was completely baffled. He thought he was at a loss of words before, but now? How can he make up for all the pain he's caused his friend, especially when he was completely oblivious to his actions?
'God, I'm such an idiot...'
Peter should've been there for Harry. He was right. He hadn't been a good friend to him, he'd barely spoken to him since he met MJ. He should have noticed! And now he was losing him.
'Idiot. Idiot, idiot!'
The word repeated in his head as he looked down, desperate to make things right. He needed to say something, anything to make things better. But it wasn't that easy. His heart ached. He couldn't bear the thought that he was the reason for this pain. He found himself rambling, tripping on his words, hoping that something could help this situation,
"But I do! It is! Don't you get it? Harry I'd rather be spending my time with you! You're my best friend, I mean, I... I don't know what I'd do without you... It's you I want to spend my time with, Harry. It's always been you. But you've been so busy and... god I wish you weren't so busy..."
Peter stopped. He realized now how long he'd rambled on. Reluctantly, he looked up at Harry, scanning his face for a reaction. Anything. Harry's face remained visibly stern, a fake firmness, falling apart at the seams just beneath the surface. Peter couldn't quite read it, but the heaviness of Harry's eyes let him know that he was getting through to him. Peter looked down once more to recollect his thoughts. He finally knew what he wanted to say. He continued, forcing a strong tone, although the cracks in his voice inevitably showed his uncertainty, his fear.
"But MJ is a really nice girl, Harry! I like spending time with her, I really do. But god, she's not you."
The small cracks in his voice took over with his last word. He finished weakly.
"No one can replace you."
Harry was looking at Peter now, his eyes asking Peter to return his gaze.
"Pete..."
It was Harry's turn now to be at a loss for words.
'She's not you.'
The words remained prominent in his mind. Harry was still hurt, torn down by the pain Peter had caused him. But, as much as he wanted to be angry, yell as loud as his lungs would allow, lash out at Peter, isolate himself and never face the world again, he couldn't. Peter was still his best friend, even after everything they'd been through.
Harry tried to speak, but his words were only pummeled by tears as he choked on his attempts to form words.
"Pete I..I-"
Harry couldn't speak anymore. His voice completely gave out, his voice shaky with long, sharp breaths as he was overtaken by soft sobs.
"Hey, hey it's okay... I'm here for you, Harry. I'm right here,"
Peter felt his heart utterly drop at the sight. His best friend had fallen to his knees, completely broken, defeated. He had either said something wrong or right, he couldn't tell at the moment. But that didn't matter right now. His friend needed him right now, and he would be there for him. From now on, he would be there. He would always be there.
Peter fell to Harry's level, a comforting hand resting on Harry's shoulder. Harry didn't stop him. He didn't know if he wanted to. He didn't have the heart to try. Right now, Harry knew he needed comfort, and Peter was there to provide it.
Harry turned towards Peter, weakly nuzzling his face into the side of his chest. He cried. He cried until he didn't quite know why anymore.
Neither of them knew just how long they had stayed like this. Time seemed to melt into itself, minutes and hours and seconds rolling into one moment. For one moment, all else faded away. The cool nighttime breeze stood still; the city lights below blurred away; the various noises coming from the city below were muffled by the stillness of the moment.
Harry had calmed down quite a bit by now. He didn't know what it was about Peter's comforting grasp that had such an effect on him, but it did. It really did. Harry remained still, not daring to move from this comfortable state, this bliss, just yet. Peter's arms wrapped firmly yet comfortingly around Harry, it gave him strength. He didn't want it to end. He felt safe. But he knew he couldn't stay like this forever.
Harry inwardly sighed. His mind now taken off of the events that had taken place earlier, Harry became truly aware of his position, his outright closeness to Peter, for the first time. With this realization, he shifted in Peter's arms, making a weak attempt to pull away.
"Hey. Feel better?"
Peter noticed Harry's movement, pulling away and resting his hands on Harry's shoulders as he found Harry's tear-stained eyes. The pain in Harry's eyes was still clear, although they weren't nearly as heavy. Now, Peter could see through Harry's tough outer shell, he could see Harry's fear. Fear of being left behind. Fear of not being good enough for Peter. Fear of losing him.
Harry remained still. He took a moment to process it all. Why did Peter seem to care for him so much now? Why did he feel so strongly about him with MJ in the first place? Why, despite everything he said – how angry he had been – did it all go away when he was in Peter's arms? What made the whole world fall away, all his problems, regrets, fears, pain? Being there, with him, made everything okay. For just a moment, everything was okay. Harry smiled softly, moving to wipe the dried tears from his face.
"Thank you, Pete."
Peter's worried expression softened as well, a smile reciprocating on his face.
"Anytime, Har."