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When Ada first encountered the simulation inside her mind palace, it almost scared her to death – metaphorically speaking, of course. One second she had been trying to enjoy the quiet solace of her mind's garden and use the opportunity to sort and process all the new thoughts and emotions brought on by deviancy, the next moment a familiar voice had startled her.
"Fuck, I thought Nines' brain was boring but somehow this one's even worse."
Her first instinct was to search her program for any sort of malware or virus but a quick scan didn't provide any answers. Her software – well, Nines' software to be precise – ran at peak performance.
So why was it that she found herself facing a simulation of Detective Gavin Reed that she didn't program?
"What? Why-", it took her longer than she liked to admit to organize her thoughts and form a coherent sentence. "Detective Reed? How... how did you get here?"
Detective Reed simply shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets. "How would I know? This ain't my head, is it? Hey, what's the deal with you tincans and these weird gardens?" His gaze wandered around with evident distaste. Especially the japanese stone garden seemed to evoke utter disgust in him.
Ada opened her mouth to say that she didn't have an explanation either, when a thought struck her. "Did Nines program you?"
Detective Reed didn't even look at her. "Yeah. Don't know why he decided to do it, though. Fucking creepy if you ask me, but he just needed someone to talk to, I guess. Fuck, you wouldn't happen to have a... shit, I don't know, an imaginary coffee maker somewhere around here?"
Ada didn't really know what to make of this answer. She watched Detective Reed looking around her garden. "I suppose that when I obtained Nines' software, I accidentally transferred a copy of you into my mind. I just don't understand how I could possibly have missed that..."
"Karma? Warranted punishment for stealing his software?" Gavin suggested, stepping closer to her. "It's hard to believe that anyone other than Nines would actually want to have me in their head."
Ada had no clue what to say to that. So she simply stated, "You can't stay here."
Detective Reed furrowed his brow. "Oh yeah? What, am I ruining the view? Even after Nines worked so hard to make me look nice when he programmed me? You're breaking my heart."
"What? No, that's not the point," she tried to explain. Until she saw the Detective Reed's lips twitch mockingly. She glanced at him with mild annoyance. "I can't allow another android's simulation to exist inside my mind palace."
"Oh? Having second thoughts about claiming other android's parts for yourself all of a sudden?" Detective Reed's voice remained it's playful tone, rather than sounding like he actually was judging her. Still, his words hit harer than Ada ever thought they would.
Clenching her jaw, she turned away from him. Pictures of androids starring at her, their eyes filled with fear, begging her to stop with words she didn’t care about at the time, of thirium between her fingers as she ripped them apart to get to the parts she needed. Lisa's empty eyes, looking right through her before she dumped the lifeless body into the harbor...
"Hey? Uh... Basic Instinct?" Detective Reed's voice was as clear as a gunshot, cutting straight through her overwhelming memories, like a beam of light in absolute darkness. Ada clang to it, pulling herself out of the whirl of pictures and sounds and guilt.
When she became aware of her surroundings again, Detective Reed was standing right beside her, looking rather worried. "Hey, you okay? C'mon, Basic, talk to me. My shit's not worth blowing a fuse over..."
Ada forced herself to take a deep albeit unnessecary breath, pushing back at all the rogue data. She couldn't fathom how Nines – or any deviant for that matter – could be able to function while constantly being hit with all these uncontainable emotions.
But then again, Nines didn't bear the guilt of killing a dozen of innocent androids, did he?
"I... I'm okay," she finally said, annoyed at how shaky her voice sounded in her ears. "It's just that... emotions are still... complicated for me."
"Yeah. I get it. Welcome to the party. Sorry, I'm not used to people taking my bulshit serious." Detective Reed's face seemed to show something like regret. "You... uh, I mean, you can delete me, if... if you want. I wouldn't blame you."
Ada just stared at him, looking for words. She didn't find any.
He was probably right. It would probably be for the best if she just deleted him. She still wasn't sure hoe she even copied him over in the first place. It coudn't possibly be a good idea, to let another android's simuation roam free inside her mind palace. She really should just search Nines' software for the code to isolate and erase it.
If only the mere thought of it wouldn't immediately trigger a new spike of anxiety and guilt.
As if she hadn't destroyed enough existences already. She didn't wuite understand why Nines would program a simulation of Detective Reed, but there had to be a reason for it and just deleting him felt... wrong. For better or worse, this was a part of Nines' software... of Nines, who gave her a second chance even after she had done unspeakable things to him.
How could she just erase a part of him like that?
"I... I'll think about it," she said evasively. "I don't have time for that right now. I'll decide next time I'll go into stasis..."
With that she wanted to go, but Detective Reed stopped her. "It wasn't your fault, okay? You weren't in control. That wasn't really you."
Those were almost the exact same words that Nines had used to convince the other officers to let her go. It were the exact same words that Ada had tried to convince herself of ever since. Hearing them from someone else made her feel... relieved.
When she didn't say anything, Detective Reed continued. "Nobody's blaming you for what you did bevore deviating."
"Well maybe they should," she snapped at him, her voice harder than she wanted it to be. Immediately she clenched her jaw, forcing her LED to set from red to yellow.
She could hear Detective Reed approaching her, but she refused to turn around and face him.
"Oh? What, you think you're the only fucking android that's been messing things up?" he asked with a mocking tone in his voice. "Shit, one time, before Connor became deviant, he beat me up so bad, they had to take me to hospital. Granted, I did try to shoot him first, but that's not the point."
He stepped around her until she couldn't avoid to look at him. "Look, Basic, I'm not the type to coddle people. Making you feel all cozy, telling you it ain't so bad? Nah, that's not me. I'm just a digital copy of a sleep-deprived cop with a bad caffein addiction. Nines might have been courteous enough to program me without the dark circles around the eyes, but that doesn't make me a nice guy."
He put his hands in his pockets, teetering back and forth on his heels. "But I can ell you what I had to tell Nines several times as well – constantly dwelling on what happened in the past won't get you shit. Being alive is making mistakes. There's nothing you can do about that. There is no such thing as perfection and there is no ultimate goal to reach, other than the ones you create for yourself. Life isn't a mission you can accomplish, it's just... it's just life. With all the flaws that come with it."
Ada lowered her eyes and said softly, "I don't know what to do." Admitting it hurt, but she forced out the words. "I caused so much suffering... killed all those androids. It is... just not fair that I would be given a second chance when they would deserve it so much more."
Detective Reed grunted softly, and his voice sounded rather sad. "Life's rarely ever fair, Basic," he calmly proclaimed. "Innocents suffer while people like you and me are granted second chances. Fuck yes, that's unfair! But that's exactly why we owe the world to actually try to push past the mistakes we made. Use our talents to do good things rather than bad things. Make the most of these chances we've been given and fucking... be better."
Ada only noticed that she had stared at him when he'd finished his monologue and returned her look. With a frown she asked, "Be better? Better than what?"
And Detective Reed simply replied, "Better than what we'd become if we didn't care. If there hadn't been anyone to believe that we actually can be better."
Then they fell silent and Ada couldn't help but feel like a fool. An android like her shouldn't need advice from a simulation of a sleep-deprived cop with a bad caffein addiction. Yet she couldn't deny that Detective Reed's words made her feel... well, not quite better, but calmer at least.
Better than what we'd become if we didn't care...that was pretty vague for her likings but at least it was something. A mission she could actually try to accomplish. She highly doubted that it would ever truly rid her of her regrets. But perhaps that could be a good thing after all. So that she would never forget why she had to be better.
She managed to give a light smile even though it felt like it would fry her processors. "That seems... reasonable, Detective. I believe you might be right." A tiny little laugh escaped her. "I think I understand why Nines programmed you after all."
Detective Reed just scoffed. "Fuck, even the most advanced android ever made sometimes needs someone to spell out the obvious. You might not have noticed....,“ he said with a wink, „...but Nines for some reason is actually all head over heels for 'real me'. However he'd never managed to muster up the courage to actually tell him... so he relied on me to give him a little push from time to time. Also he practised kissing with me. But don't tell him I told you that last part."
And even though it wasn't logical in the slightest, Ada burst into full on laughter. "How did Detective Reed never notice? Nines had never exactly ever been subtle about it. Are humans really that oblivious?"
And Detective Reed, laughing with her, replied, "You have no idea."
When they grew silent this time, it felt way less awkward than before. Almost nice, even. Ada took a moment to clear her mind, than she said, "I am going to think about what you said, Detective Reed. For now, you can stay here if you like."
"See? I knew you couldn't resist my charms and endearing personality," he gently teased before sitting down and relaxing against a tree. "I'll be here if you wanna talk. Or brawl. Heard that's good for letting out some steam too."
"I'll take your word for it," she shot back. But more softly she added, "Thank you, Detective Reed."
"Gavin," was the last thing she heard him say, before she exited stasis. "See ya, Ada."