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Julia had never ventured into the Abyss before. Mostly because she hadn’t really been alone up until this point. But now she was trusted with being alone, especially since everyone was busy with rebuilding Hallownest. Julia herself was still recovering and Ghost had suggested that visiting the Abyss might speed up her recovery since she was a void being. They’d also suggested that she might be able to learn more about herself by examining the memories of their siblings.
But now, standing at the edge of the Abyss with the Dream Nail strapped to her back, Julia was beginning to regret her decision to come alone. The darkness that stretched out before her was more complete and all-encompassing than any darkness she’d ever encountered before. The light of her lantern barely penetrated a foot before it was swallowed up by the blackness.
“How am I supposed to look out for spikes when I can’t see anything?” She groaned to herself. Ghost had told her that there were spikes on the platforms that led to the bottom to the Abyss and Julia did not want to land on them. She hadn’t died yet and she wasn’t in a hurry to experience it, even though Ghost assured her that she would likely come back.
Still, she couldn’t just dither at the edge forever. So, taking a deep breath, she jumped. A voice in the back of her mind told her she should be more afraid of the darkness, that she should have been afraid to jump. But she wasn’t. The darkness felt...safe to her.
After all, it was where creatures like her had been born.
She managed to make it to the bottom of the Abyss without being stabbed by the spikes, which was a relief. What wasn’t a relief was the fact that the floor of the Abyss was covered in the cracked and broken masks of failed vessels. There was something distinctly unsettling in seeing what were essentially the corpses of her siblings laid out before her like this. She’d known about the numerous failed Vessels, but seeing it was a different thing altogether.
Julia would have gritted her teeth if she’d still had them. The more she learned about the Pale King, the more she hated him. He had brought his children into the world solely to fix his own mistakes. He had created them to suffer and die, and she couldn’t stand that.
He wasn’t fit to be a father.
But he was dead now, so it wasn’t worth it for her to spend time thinking about him. She was here to heal and learn about the other Vessels, not think about how awful the Pale King was. She was starting to feel a bit stronger, which was a good sign.
She began to make her across the Abyss floor, looking for the white particles that Ghost had said indicated the corpse could be dreamnailed. She wasn’t sure how much she could learn from the dreams of Vessels who had never made it out of the Abyss, but she was curious at the very least.
Although she discovered a few broken masks with white particles floating off of them, she found herself continuing. It felt like they weren’t right for some reason. She continued searching, becoming increasingly frustrated.
She was looking for something. She didn’t know what it was, but she knew she had to find it.
And then she did.
It was nestled against a pillar, broken and cracked, with those white orbs floating up from it.
It looked just like her.
She stared down at it, reminded of the wooden cocoon she’d shed that first time she’d molted. The twisted wooden mask Grimm had pulled off of her. It felt strange to remember that moment, especially knowing how afraid she’d been. That felt a lifetime away.
She removed the dream nail from her back, readying herself to strike. She couldn’t help but be a tad nervous to be attempting this. Her past forays into the world of dreams hadn’t exactly been...pleasant. She suppressed a shudder at the memory of the Radiance’s torment. The Radiance was dead now. She would be fine.
She took a deep breath, relaxed her stance, and swung.
The world around her erupted into an explosion of white particles.
.
She was in the Abyss.
The bug with her mask was making their way up the platforms.
All around her the bodies of her siblings plummeted to their deaths, their masks breaking and shattering as they hit the ground, allowing their void essence to leak out.
The vessel didn’t know why their siblings were being cast down.
They didn’t care.
There was only one thing on their mind.
Fear.
They were afraid. Afraid of suffering the same fate as their siblings. They didn’t want to die. They had only just been born and they didn’t want to die.
They needed to get out.
The Pale King likely rejected them because of this fear, Julia thought bitterly. They weren’t hollow enough.
Even though they had likely only just been born, the vessel darted from platform to platform with ease, never faltering, never wavering. Part of Julia felt jealous of just how sure they were of themselves. They were consumed by fear, and yet never once doubted their physical abilities. She wished she could be like that.
Soon enough, the vessel reached the top. The Pale King stood in the cave entrance, backlit by the light that came from the outside. He was...smaller than Julia had expected. Quite a lot smaller. He was barely bigger than the vessel themself.
And yet he stood straight and proud, looking every bit the king he was. Although he was small in stature, his presence made him feel far larger. His glow, combined with the backlighting from the cave entrance, made him seem almost ethereal.
“You...” The King’s voice echoed in the vessel’s mind. “You should not be here.”
Internally, Julia frowned. That didn’t seem right. Why shouldn’t the vessel be there?
“Why have you come, child?” The Pale King took a step toward the vessel. “Why have you ventured to this place and at this time?”
The vessel stumbled back as the Pale King advanced toward them. Their fear was only growing at the Pale King’s response. Had they already done something wrong? They’d only just been born, how could they have already have made a mistake?
The vessel reached the edge of the platform, beginning to fall off. They did fall, only to catch themselves on the edge. The Pale King made his way to the edge, gazing down upon his child.
“Pale Moon, reflection of my Gendered child,” the King spoke, and Julia instinctively knew now that he was speaking to her. “What is it you have come here searching for? You will find no answers in the eyes of a failed vessel such as this.”
She could feel the confusion of the Vessel she was possessing as the Pale King looked down upon them, but Julia knew. He was talking to her. He knew she was there.
She supposed it made sense. He was a Higher Being. And Wyrms were supposed to be able to see ahead in time or something.
That didn’t mean this wasn’t scary as Hell, though.
She didn’t like that he could see through time and look at her.
“You still have much to learn if you truly wish to stand with my children in the defense of Hallownest,” the King continued. “You are unsure of your place, of your purpose.” He knelt, peering into the vessel’s eyes in what felt like curiosity. “How strange you are. Void and yet...not like my other children.”
The vessel’s confusion only continued to grow the more the Pale King spoke.
“Do you truly believe yourself worthy, my child?” The King asked. “Do you truly believe you can stand with my chosen?”
Julia couldn’t very well respond. She was too startled and afraid to even consider uttering a word.
The Pale King narrowed his eyes, looking almost amused. “Well, I suppose we shall see.”
Then she and the vessel were plummeting into the darkness of the Abyss, watching the shining form of the Pale King rush away.
.
And then she woke up.
She looked frantically around, only to find herself somewhere else she didn’t recognize. It looked like a garden. Specifically, the garden where the White Lady resided. Albeit a more manicured version of that garden.
Julia was in her human form, although she was still wearing her vessel clothing. If she was human, this had to still be a dream. She relaxed a bit. She’d been worried she’d somehow been transported from the Abyss. But no, she was still dreaming.
“Hello.”
The sound of another person’s voice startled her, and she turned quickly around to find a man sitting on a bench behind her. He was human, which struck her as odd. Even in her dream encounters with entities like the Radiance and Aegis, she had been the only one to appear human.
Something about the man felt...familiar. She was sure she’d never met how before, but somehow she felt like she knew him.
She was pretty sure she’d remember meeting someone like this, though. He was handsome in a strange and unearthly way, like what Julia imagined a faerie would look like. Everything about him was far too perfect, from his sharp cheekbones to his long hair tied up in a bun.
Although his hair was white, his face looked fairly young, perhaps 30 at the oldest, and his skin was smooth and unblemished. He was dressed in robes so white they almost seemed to glow, with a grey cloak draped over his shoulders.
His eyes were...strange. They were so pale he almost appeared blind. And yet she was acutely aware of the fact that he was watching her.
“Come sit with me.” He patted the space next to him with a weary smile.
Julia remained standing, staring intently at this stranger.
“Who are you?” She demanded, instinctively reaching for her nail. It wasn’t there. She bit back the urge to curse. Of course she wouldn’t have her weapon in a dream.
“I have no name,” the man replied. “Or at least no proper one.”
Julia leveled him with a deadpan stare of annoyance.
The man laughed softly. “I suppose you would be dissatisfied with such a cryptic answer. Very well. I’ll give you a proper one. I am known to those you’ve met as the Pale King.”
Julia expected to feel anger welling up at any moment. But no anger came. She just felt tired. She didn’t have to emotional energy to deal with something like the Radiance again. She was fully expecting this to go the way her interactions with the Radiance had.
Poorly.
“Okay.” She folded her arms. “Why’re you here?”
“I wanted to talk to you,” he answered.
“ Me ?” Julia frowned. “Why?”
“You’re not like my other children,” the Pale King said, gesturing to her. “You were once human. I was curious.”
Julia kept staring at him. The Pale King stared back.
“That’s it?” Julia finally said. “You were curious?”
“Well, that isn’t the only reason,” the Pale King admitted, an almost sheepish smile crossing his features. “I also wanted to...apologize. For what my actions did to my children. I understand that a simple apology cannot fix years of damage, but I wish to offer it all the same”
“Why didn’t you reach out to one of the others to apologize?” Julia folded her arms, leaning back. “They’re the ones you actually hurt.”
The Pale King’s lips twisted and he began to wring his hands. “I...didn’t think they would want to speak with me.”
“Of course they wouldn’t,” Julia snapped, unable to stop herself. “You basically made them to suffer and die. Why would they want to talk to you after that?”
The Pale King said nothing, averting his gaze.
“What kind of a father does that?” Julia continued, anger finally bubbling up at the Pale King’s silence. “You brought a bunch of kids into this world with the sole purpose of dying! How is that fair to them?!”
The Pale King’s silence continued as he kept his eyes firmly on his lap.
“What do you have to say for yourself?!” Julia demanded.
The Pale King took a long, deep breath. “I am...not proud of the lengths I went to in order to preserve my kingdom,” he said. “In my desperation to avert the fate I had seen, I crossed many boundaries I should not have. All that pain and destruction...” He sighed heavily, his shoulders slumping. “It was all for nothing, in the end. All I did was usher forward the fate I had so feared.”
“So you....regret it?” Julia asked slowly. This hadn’t been the reaction she’d been expected. She’d expected excuses, justifications. Not...This.
There was no way this sad, tired man was the same king who had done such horrific things to the people she now considered her family.
He was just so.... sad.
All her anger had been snuffed out in an instant by his sad silence.
“Regret would be one word for it, I suppose,” the Pale King murmured. “More than anything, I am ashamed. Ashamed of the pain I caused, both to my children and my subjects. I was meant to protect them. Not destroy them. I let my own fear and pride blind me and they paid the price.”
Julia couldn’t help but be reminded of her actions after Grimm’s “death”. She’d let her feelings blind her then, acting out of instinct. She hadn’t ended up killing a bunch of people, but...she had hurt a lot of people she cared about.
“It was pretty shitty,” she said. She sat down beside him, perching on the edge of the bench and bouncing one leg.
The Pale King looked up, surprising registering briefly before he smiled and laughed softly. “That’s certainly one way of putting it.”
“I’m not saying what you did was okay, but...I get it.” Julia kicked at the grass. “The whole...doing stupid stuff because you’re afraid.”
“I take it you have your own experiences with it?”
Julia hunched her shoulders, continuing to kick at the dirt and grass.
“I see.” The Pale King took the hint, turning away from her. “Would it be rude to inquire about your thoughts on the god I fought my war against?”
Julia hunched her shoulders further. “I didn’t like her. I don’t think she liked me.”
“I don’t think she liked anyone,” the Pale King laughed weakly. “But then again, I didn’t exactly know her.”
“So...if you’re not the hero in this, does that make her the hero?” Julia asked. She was unable to keep herself from cringing at the notion that the Radiance could at all be the hero in this story.
“We are neither of us blameless,” the Pale King answered, his expression becoming solemn. “I stole her worshippers and her home, forced my children to endure horrible suffering, and destroyed my kingdom in the hopes that I could destroy her. She released a plague that took over the minds of my subjects and tormented my child for years. There are no heroes to be found here.”
“I feel like Aegis is a hero,” Julia said, looking back at the ground once more.
“Aegis?” The Pale King echoed curiously.
“He wanted a name. He didn’t want us calling him the Pure Vessel or the Hollow Knight.”
“Ah, I see.” The Pale King’s expression softened. “Aegis...What a wonderful name. I never thought one of my children would take up a name.”
He sounded...proud.
She didn’t know if Aegis would want to hear it, but she’d have to tell him about this.
The two of them lapsed into silence, Julia kicking at the dirt and the Pale King simply...sitting. It felt rather nice, just to sit in silence.
The Pale King was the one to finally break the silence. “Please...take care of them.”
“Who?”
“The little ghost, the Gendered child, my Hollow Knight. I was...never a good parent,” he said. “They deserve happiness. Happiness I could never have given them.” He took her hand in his, smiling softly. “Please. Help them to be happy. Help them to be better than I was.”
His hands were warm and soft, like a blanket fresh out of the dryer.
“I’ll...I’ll try my best,” she replied, staring down at their hands intertwined. She wished she’d had a father who would have held her hands like this. His touch was so gentle and comforting.
“Thank you.” The Pale King squeezed her hand. “And don’t forget, you deserve to be happy as well.”
Then everything went white once more.
.
She woke up on the floor of the Abyss, right beside the mask she’d dreamnailed.
She laid there for a long time, staring at the void particles floating through the air. She wasn’t sure how to feel about what she’d just experienced. She had a lot of feelings to unpack and she was not going to unpack them right now.
She got up and headed back to the little tent city where she and the others had been staying. Aegis and Hornet were out with Ghost at the moment, which left Quirrel to greet her.
“Ah! Welcome back!” Quirrel looked up from his notes when Julia entered the tent. “Did you enjoy your adventure in the Abyss?”
“I...I met the Pale King,” Julia said before she could stop herself.
“....Pardon?” Quirrel asked, his voice going up an octave.
“I...I need to lay down.” Julia stumbled past him, collapsing onto her bedroll.
It took Quirrel a moment to properly recover. “Well, when you’re feeling a bit better, I would certainly be interested to hear what exactly you witnessed,” he said, gently drawing a blanket over her.
“Okay...” Julia closed her eyes. Then she opened them again.
"Hey...Quirrel?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For...being here."
Quirrel looked back at her from where he'd settled with his journal once more. He smiled softly behind his mask. "You're very welcome."
Satisfied, Julia snuggled into her blanket, eyes closing once more.
Things were going to be better now.
They were going to be better now.
Hallownest would move on.