Chapter Text
The grey loth-cat with the bright brown eyes and the little kink in its tail had followed Ezra around for a long time. The creature had only been a kitten when Ezra first saw it, aged three and playing outside his front door whilst his father fixed his tricycle. He had dropped the stick he was using to draw in the dirt path, the branch rolling away, too far for the little boy to run and grab it. Ezra had been about to cry when the loth-cat came plodding over with the stick in its mouth. It placed it at his feet, meowing once before it pranced away. Ever since, Ezra couldn’t remember a time when the loth-cat hadn’t been somewhere in his life.
For years, Ezra had just assumed that the loth-cat was a stray that had been chased out of the city by the Stormtroopers and made a home in the old communications tower, but during his years on the streets the young teen had found comfort in the little friend he could rely on to help cheer him up during the worst of times. The loth-cat would sometimes bring Ezra scraps of food, or return belongings that other street rats had stolen from him, and if the boy attached a small bucket to its back, the loth-cat would bring it back filled to the brim with drinkable water. Ezra named the loth-cat ‘Toodles’, as it would disappear before Ezra had a chance to give her a goodbye pet, and his mother would always say “toodles” instead of “goodbye” when his father left for work in the morning.
When Ezra first met the Spectres, Toodles disappeared for a little while. It wasn’t uncommon for the loth-cat to be gone for days and sometimes weeks at a time, but when Ezra didn’t see his friend for three months despite the periodic visits to his tower and constant searching whenever he was in the city, Ezra began to fear that Toodles was gone forever. She had been one of the few constants in his life after his parents were taken, and though he now had a crew who were slowly becoming his family, it didn’t feel the same. It was as if something was missing.
She wasn’t gone, though. Toodles appeared on his bunk the night after his birthday, curling up on his chest until Ezra woke up, groggy and confused. He was too tired to question how she had gotten onto their ship that was nearly three systems away from Lothal, but he welcomed her and let her sleep on his chest that night. Toodles was gone in the morning. She would come and go, never around long enough for anyone else to see her, but Ezra loved the little loth-cat and welcomed her whenever she was around. He would sneak her into the galley for food when he knew everyone was asleep, carrying his little friend in his arms and chatting happily about his adventures. Toodles was as much a part of Ezra’s family as his parents were, as the Ghost crew had become.
The mission was supposed to be simple, but like everything that the Ghost and her crew did, it went south very quickly. Ezra and Kanan had paired up to scout out a planet that could possibly become the location of the Alliance’s base. It was a cold planet covered in mesas and rocky plateaus. The terrain would turn from a flat pathway to a forty-foot drop into sharp stalagmites. Kanan had taken to keeping one hand on Ezra’s collar so he could pull his padawan back after a few too many close calls. Ezra had been too excited to explore to keep a proper eye on where he was going. Chopper had stayed behind on the Phantom as the two Jedi explored, Hera was in orbit on the Ghost , and Sabine and Zeb had been dropped off on one of the nearby moons to search for a possible outpost. It was just supposed to be a quick mission, a few hours at most. Then the Inquisitors turned up. The Fifth Brother and Seventh Sister had been waiting for the Jedi and launched to attack just as Kanan and Ezra managed to draw their lightsabers.
The Inquisitors seemed to have two goals: kill Kanan, capture Ezra. It wasn’t difficult to see how their attacks towards the Jedi Knight were vicious and quick, whereas with Ezra they aimed more to disarm and incapacitate him. Both Jedi were able to hold their ground. Kanan’s years of experience and training meant he was able to retaliate, knocking the Inquisitors back and outsmarting his opponents. Ezra was small and nimble enough to be able to dodge the attacks, using his own training to protect himself rather than try to overpower the Inquisitors. Their bond let them silently communicate, forming plans to fight back together and keep the Inquisitors at bay long enough for Chopper to arrive with the Phantom. The grumpy droid seemed to be taking forever.
The Seventh Sister was too interested in Ezra for it to be just about capturing him. Her sick and twisted smile, and the way she taunted him made Ezra’s stomach churn, but he ignored her as best as he could and kept fighting back. He just had to hold out until Chopper arrived and then he and Kanan could escape. There was no chance of making the planet a base now that the Inquisitors had been there. Ezra managed to kick the Seventh Sister back, rolling out of the way as her blade fell down. Whilst his opponent was down, Ezra glanced over to his master. Kanan was fairing well. He glanced up at the sky. Where was Chopper?
Movement caught the corner of Ezra’s eye. The padawan turned his head, eyes widening at the form that had perched itself on a nearby rock. Bright brown eyes, grey fur and a kink in the tail. Toodles meowed once, a grin gracing her lips as she stared back at Ezra. Ezra felt frozen. The appearance of his little friend threw him off entirely. He didn’t notice the Seventh Sister getting up, but thankfully the Force had alerted Ezra to her lightsaber coming down on him and he was able to block it in time. His feet slipped as he was pushed backwards, barely able to block all the blows as the red blade clashed with his own blue one. He kept stepping back to try and dodge the attacks but they were too quick and his foot hit a rock wrong and-
The pain was unbearable, spreading from his abdomen right up his entire right side. It burned and if he hadn’t been in shock, Ezra would have screamed. The Seventh Sister smirked, the red of her lightsaber making her face glow as she twisted the blade and Ezra let out a gasp. She pulled the lightsaber out. Ezra fell to his knees. Someone screamed out his name. The Seventh Sister disappeared. His vision turned black.
Kanan felt Ezra’s agony before he saw what had happened. One of the first things that a youngling is taught in the creche is how to control the emotions they project into the force, and as his Master, Kanan had made sure to teach Ezra how to put up shields in his mind ever since they began sharing a bond. Unfortunately, he knew first hand that immense pain could lead to all control of one's emotions to disappear. The pain in Kanan’s side was muted, but enough to force him to freeze and whip his head around to his padawan just in time to see the Seventh Sister withdraw her weapon from Ezra’s abdomen, the boy collapsing to the ground. He wasn’t moving. “Ezra!” Kanan screamed. With strength he never knew he had, the Jedi pushed the Fifth Brother backwards, slamming the Inquisitor against a nearby rock. His hand flew out and the Seventh Sister went flying towards the edge of the cliff, disappearing from view as she went over the side. Kanan didn’t care about her.
Their shared bond was a pathway of nothing but pure agony, freezing shock and quivering fear, but everything Ezra was emitting through their bond was cut off in seconds as just as Kanan slid to a stop on his knees by his padawan’s side, Ezra’s eyes closed and he collapsed. Kanan caught the young boy before he could fall face first onto the ground. “Ezra?” His words came out as nothing more than a whisper, fingers reaching to his padawan’s neck and pressing lightly. His pulse was weak. Too weak. “No… No, stay with me, kid,” Kanan pleaded. He reached down to his padawan’s side and carefully picked at the fabric of the old flight suit, peeling the seared fabric back to inspect the wound. There was no blood, expected of a lightsaber wound, but the red and blistering skin hid injuries Kanan couldn’t see. He was no Healer, but you didn’t have to be to feel the damage the blade had caused.
Their bond was fading.
No! Not again! I can’t lose him too!
“Stay with me, Ezra, please,” Kanan maneuvered the much smaller man into his arms and staggered to his feet. Why was Ezra so light ? Engines roared overhead. The Phantom landed not too far away. Shifting Ezra’s head to rest against his shoulder, Kanan ran as fast as he could to the waiting ship, his grip tightening on the boy to keep him as close as possible. Chopper beeped a question to him, but the Jedi just ordered the astromech to get them in the air and instead focused on lying Ezra down across the seats.
Kanan rushed to the supply closet and reached for the medkit. There wasn’t much he could do without knowing the full extent of the injury but he knew from his years in the Order that if he didn’t apply bacta to the wound soon, it would only get worse. Their medkit was severely lacking, something Kanan made a mental note of for when he wasn’t fussing over his padawan, but there was bacta and gause and that was all that mattered in that moment. There wasn’t much else Kanan was able to do anyways. With practiced precision, the Jedi carefully unzipped the flight suit whilst sending as much encouragement through their bond as he could, praying that Ezra would be able to feel it and grab a hold of the tether. Ezra’s side flickered in and out, like a flame in the wind that clung to the candle wick as best as it could.
The Phantom eventually came to a stop as it docked with the Ghost . Having applied the bacta as best as he could, Kanan scooped his padawan up again and huddled him into his arms, running from the docking station as quickly as he could. He didn’t bother with the ladder, trusting in the Force as he leaped down into the main hallway and went running past the rest of the crew, ignoring their shouts of concern and shock. He vaguely registered Zeb shouting to Hera to get them back to Phoenix Home , but the door of their makeshift medical bay - one of the many storage holds that they kept their medical supplies in - closed behind him as he laid Ezra on the cold table. Ezra’s head lolled to the side, his limbs limp, but he was still warm and still breathing. Kanan focused on that. Someone placed a breathing mask over Ezra’s mouth - it was Sabine, when did she arrive? - and it snapped Kanan to work as he reached for the wires for the vital sign monitor and carefully placed them on Ezra’s chest, clipping the little white clip to his padawan’s finger. Stay with me, Ezra, please. Just keep holding on.
A hand, gentle and soft, appeared on Kanan’s shoulder whilst another reached for his own hands. Why were his hands shaking? A soothing voice whispered in his ear to “go and sit down”, and Kanan did as he was told because the voice was so caring and warm. His legs nearly gave out as he sat in the uncomfortable plastoid chair next to the table, his still-shaking hand reaching to grasp Ezra’s. The faint pulsing at the end of their bond was getting fainter and fainter. Please hold on.