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He's heard the rumors. He's felt the stares. He's seen the look of disgust in their eyes. He knew what they thought about him. The insults that were whispered behind his back. He knew.
But he always pretended to not be bothered by it. Pretending that he hadn't heard what they called him. Pretending that he didn't know.
He was good at pretending you see.
All he had to do was smile and act as if nothing was wrong. If someone ever brought it up, all he had to do was smile and reassure them.
"Don't worry about it." He would say. "I'm not bothered by what they said." And then he would give them a warm smile to show them that everything was alright. Soon he convinced himself that it was true.
After all, nothing's wrong. Everything was fine. He wasn't fine. Sometimes he wanted to scream at the world. It wasn't fair... it wasn't fair-!
"Lust? Are you still there buddy?" Lust looked up to find Classic looking down at him with a worried expression.
"I'm fine! Just got lost in thought!" He shot a reassuring smile to Classic. The concern vanished, and Classic nodded. "If you say so." Lust watched the original Sans walk off to join the others. Lust's smile slowly vanished, and he went back to staring at his drink. His reflection stared back at him, and he smiled sadly.
Had he always look this sad?
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Lust stared up at his bedroom ceiling, he didn't feel like doing anything today. He just wanted to lie in bed and do nothing. He let his thoughts wander and he soon found himself feeling drained. He hadn't done anything tiring today, so why was he tired? Lust shrugged it off as nothing.
Everything was fine. He turned to his side and saw what a mess his room had become. When was the last time he cleaned his room? Lust frowned as he tried to remember, but all he got was blanks.
"Huh. That's strange..." He guesses he could clean up the mess. The skeleton found himself staring at the mess again, "Maybe tomorrow."
He honestly didn't feel like getting out of bed today. So he would do it tomorrow. Tomorrow would come sooner if he slept, right? Lust closed his eyes and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.
By the time Lust had woken up, tomorrow had arrived. He realized that time really flies when you sleep.
All you do is close your eyes, and by the time you've opened them, you find out that hours had flown by. Lust soon found himself constantly sleeping throughout the day. Sleep became an escape to him. It made him forget his worries just for a few hours.
His dreams were always peaceful. But sometimes, Lust found himself unable to sleep. But he quickly solved the problem. All he had to do was carry a bottle of sleeping pills, and his problems were solved! It soon became a habit.
But soon people started to notice. His brother became worried about him when he found out. Pink had asked if he was alright. If he needed someone to talk too.
But Lust brushed off his brother's concern with a warm smile and a few reassuring words. After all... he was good at pretending.
But soon it became hard to brush off the concern questions from his friends. Why wouldn't they just leave him alone? He was fine. Why couldn't they just understand that?
Lust managed to dodge their questions by playing dumb. "What do you mean?" He would say. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Lust held up with his game of pretending until he couldn't. All it took was just one tiny crack, and his control crumbled. He lost it. He started to lash out at his friends.
Crying and screaming at them. Tears streamed down his face as he laughed hysterically. He knew. He knew what they really thought of him. They tried to defend themselves, but he wouldn't let them. He wasn't going to let them.
His magic raged furiously around him, as he felt himself crumble. He had to get out. He had to get out. He had to get out! He vanished and reappeared into his room.
Quickly, Lust blocked the door with his dresser. He wanted to be alone. He needed to be alone. He collapsed to his knees and cried out his frustrations. The hatred and sadness that filled his heart, finally let loose.
He cried for what seemed to feel like hours to the skeleton. And then... he felt numb. He didn't want to feel anymore. He still had the pills in his pocket. He fished the bottle out of his pocket and opened the container.
Lust let out a weak chuckle as he stared at the pills. He swallowed the handful of pills. He pressed his skull against the side of his bed, vaguely aware of the loud noise behind his door. Just as the world started to go dark, Lust smiled weakly to himself.
"Sweet dreams everyone..."
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Lust suddenly became aware of a hand holding his hand. Confusion coated his tired mind, as he tried to figure out what happened. And then it came back to him. Ah... it looks like someone saved him. Lust opened his eyes and let out a small hiss when the light blinded him.
"Where...?" He felt something shift next to him, and he turned his head. There holding his hand was a weeping Horror. He blinked at Horror before speaking, "Why are you crying...?"
He never wanted to see his beloved friend this sad. Horror let out a small sob and quickly hugged Lust. "I-I'm so s-sorry!" Lust slowly returned the hug to Horror. Why was he sorry? Horror shouldn't be sorry. He's the one who should be sorry. Horror pulled away and looked into Lust's lavender eyes.
"I-I should've n-noticed sooner! I-I could have... I-I could have helped you!"
Lust gave him a small smile, "It's okay-" "It's not okay!" Horror shouted at Lust, "Y-You! You tried to kill yourself!" Lust stared blankly at Horror. Not saying anything. Horror's grip tightened as tears fell down his face, " Why would you do that?! Why would you even think about doing that?!" Horror shook his head, "Do you have any idea how much we would miss you? How much we care about you?!"
Tears filled Lust's eye sockets. He honestly hadn't thought about that. He thought that... that no one would care if he just disappeared.
"I... I didn't...I-I... I'm so sorry, Horror-!" Lust cried into Horror's jacket as he finally realized he had someone to lean on.
It wasn't easy for Lust to get over his habit. Sometimes he would unconsciously reach into his pocket for the pills, only to remember he had gotten rid of them.
Some days were hard for him, but his friends were there for him. Especially Horror, who was there for him every step of the way. Horror was there on his bad days and his good days.
Lust once lashed out at Horror. After he had realized what he had done, Lust thought that it was the end of their friendship. But to his surprise, Horror smiled and reassured Lust it was alright. Horror seemed to be able to melt away the sadness that was in his soul. Soon Lust grew used to the other skeleton being near him. He hoped Horror would always be there for him.
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Lust looked down at the white bouquet of flowers in his hands and smiled happily. Sure he was a bit nervous, but who wouldn't be? He heard a knock on the door and he turned around to find his brother.
"ARE YOU READY FOR YOUR WEDDING, BROTHER?" Pink chirped happily to his sibling.
Lust nodded before looking at the wedding ring that was around his finger. He smiled to himself as determination filled his soul. He could do this. Lust pushed opened the door and smiled.