Chapter Text
“I just… Couldn’t this be good enough…?”
Soft fingertips, still uncharacteristically bare, pressed gently to his lips. Prior, heated anger had cooled to something warm and strangely gentle. “You’re strong enough for this. Don’t hesitate now. We’ll make it through tomorrow, and when I come back to you, it will be of my own free will. Not as bait offered by a madman. I promise.”
“I’m sorry…”
“Don’t.” It was whispered against the corner of his mouth. “I didn’t realize what I was asking of you. Can you blame me? Your regard is certainly not something I deserve, or ever expected. And I’m the one who should be sorry, for hurting you again, but I told you. I would rather die than live as someone else’s pawn, hostage, or bargaining chip.”
“I know… That’s why I’ll fight. But...stay with me until then. Please. I don’t know how long it’ll be until I see you again.”
He could feel a smile against his cheek. “Relax. We have all night. I’m not going anywhere.”
Lips covered his, soothing and present. He pressed into the kiss, further, further, wanting to absorb the feeling, imprint the memory. Just in case. This moment, at least, was warm skin and careful touch and blessed, wonderful reality. For just a little longer.
Akira’s eyes fluttered open, and he stared at the ceiling, absently batting around his sheets until he found his buzzing phone and hit snooze on the alarm. As always, his dream didn’t make it to any of the really interesting parts, but he supposed he should be grateful, considering that Morgana was curled up on his stomach. That might be slightly awkward.
He was grateful for the warmth, though. It had been a lonely few months since he’d returned to his hometown. Morgana was one of the few comforts he had. Here, an hour and a half outside of Tokyo, everything felt like...nothing. What good was it to be the boy who had shot a god and saved the world, when everything around you was mundane and unaware?
“Morgana,” he murmured, nudging the cat gently. Morgana grumbled sleepily, but moved enough so that Akira could turn onto his side as he scrolled through his phone. No new group chat notifications, one email from the school reminding students that the deadline to sign up for the school trip was two weeks before summer break started, and a string of messages from Futaba from sometime overnight. He smiled and opened it up to see what she was up to.
[Futaba - 4:46am] I GOT IT I FIGURED IT OUT HOLY SHIT
[Futaba - 4:46am] I DONT KNOW WHY A PIECE OF CODE FOR THE MUSIC WAS MAKING THE CGS BUG OUT
[Futaba - 4:47am] BUT THEYRE NOT A GARBLED MESS ANYMORE
[Akira - 7:19am] That’s fantastic. I can’t wait to see how it looks with actual pictures instead of rainbow mess.
[Akira - 7:19am] Did you get any sleep, or just work all night?
[Futaba - 7:21am] I slept! For like...2 hours, but I did.
[Futaba - 7:22am] I’ll make it up tonight. I’ve got Dad’s coffee for today.
[Futaba - 7:22am] What about you? Haven’t heard from you in like a week
[Akira - 7:23am] I’m fine. Same as always.
[Akira - 7:24am] School. Homework. Teaching Morgana to play Ultra Phoenix Fighters so I can get the multiplayer trophies. The free update with the Featherman X characters should be out in a few days.
[Futaba - 7:25am] If your internet wasn’t so slow I’d play online with you
[Futaba - 7:25am] Ugh, gotta go get ready for school
[Akira - 7:26am] It’s okay. I should too.
Contrary to his words, he stayed in bed another few minutes until his alarm went off again, then reluctantly sat up. Morgana was awake now; he yawned, and asked, “Are we having breakfast now?”
“Yeah.” He scooped up Morgana, draped him over his shoulder, and made his way downstairs. His parents were gone already; they left early for their jobs, but they always made sure he had something for breakfast. This morning, it was a pot of miso soup left to warm on the stove, and Akira served himself a portion and got a piece of salmon from the fridge for Morgana.
“Isn’t your math test today?” Morgana hopped from Akira’s shoulder to the counter, where he was absolutely not allowed when Akira’s parents were home. “You need to eat more than just soup. A good breakfast is important!”
“The soup is fine. I’m not that hungry.” Akira waved the spoon at him. “I’ve got to remember to get my parents to sign the thing for the school trip. I’ve got less than a month ‘til the deadline. Apparently we’re going to Kyoto to do the hot springs or something.”
Morgana tilted his head. “You don’t sound very excited.”
Akira chuckled. “Well,” he said dryly, “the last trip I went on wasn’t particularly great. And I can’t say I’m thrilled about going to Kyoto with a bunch of people that don’t really want to be around me. Can’t wait to hear the debates about who has to take one for the team and share a room with me.”
“They’d probably change their minds really fast if they knew who you were,” Morgana grumbled. He didn’t comment on the Golden Week trip; there wasn’t much to be said there.
“Yeah, but I’d really rather not tell the whole country that I was the leader of the Phantom Thieves,” Akira pointed out, not for the first time. Half the country didn’t even think the Thieves existed anymore, and of the ones that did, there were probably plenty who had a bone to pick with the people that had undone the Conspiracy. Even someone like Maruki, who had intended to be benevolent, had used Akira’s identity against him in his own way. A year of being lied to and groomed into giving up information… He had no intentions of going through anything like that again any time soon. Better to keep it a secret and keep himself and his friends safe. His parents were the only ones in his hometown that knew the truth, and even they didn’t know all the details. The metaverse, Yaldabaoth, the dream world… It was too much to try to explain.
Morgana understood, despite his grumbling. They’d talked about this before; Akira’s safety overall was the most important thing. It didn’t stop Morgana from wishing that people treated Akira better.
Akira finished his breakfast, got dressed, and with a farewell to Morgana, left for school. His teachers here were both more observant and less benevolent than the ones at Shujin; he hadn’t even made it into the classroom with Morgana before being ordered to take the cat home. People had stared, confused and fascinated and wary. They still stared, but at least it wasn’t the malice and fear that riddled his classmates at Shujin.
Today when he got to class, several of the girls were crowded around one of their desks, fawning over the new issue of a magazine. Akira caught a glimpse of the cover on the way past and hesitated.
“Excuse me?” he asked, and all of them looked up at the same time, which was honestly a little creepy. “Sorry, I just wanted to see the picture on the cover.”
The girl sitting at the desk looked puzzled, but held it up enough for him to see the front. Ann’s smiling face looked back at him, with three other girls he didn’t know, all modeling fashionable summer outfits. For a moment, he smiled fondly, then remembered where he was and ducked his head. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome…” That was all the girl said to him, but as he walked away, he heard them start whispering loudly, and caught his name at least once. But he just ignored them, taking his seat and pulling out his phone.
[Ann - May 19, 2017] Talk to you soon, I’ve got a video call with Shiho!
[Akira - May 19, 2017] Tell Shiho hi for me.
[Akira - May 22, 2017] I think one of the girls in my class made herself a poster of you. Can you believe it?
--- Today - June 15, 2017 ---
[Akira - 8:26am] I saw your new magazine cover today. You look great.
He almost messaged the group chat to ask if everyone had seen it, but the teacher walked in, and he quickly put his phone away.
Maybe later.
***
After school, he packed his things and got ready to return home. He hadn’t joined any clubs; his classmates had made it very clear they were uncomfortable with having him around. Of course, that also meant he was further the odd one out, but he would rather be at home than enduring their awkward aside glances. At least the rumors at Shujin were funny, in a bleak way. This was just...nothing. He’d almost prefer the whispers of ‘I heard he stabbed someone’ than discomfort with his general existence.
It was peaceful, though, going home on his own. With everyone else still at school or work, there weren’t many people out.
He should have known that it wouldn’t last. A couple of months of peace and quiet were all he was going to get.
Halfway home, he was brought to a halt by a police officer calling, “Hey, you there!”
Akira, when he saw who had called to him, froze, his hands tightening on the straps of his bag. He didn’t move, watching the man walk towards him with purposeful strides.
“You’re heading home early,” the officer said.
“I...don’t have any club activities,” Akira managed through the tightness in his throat. He wished Morgana was here. He wished he could be Joker, instead of a nervous wreck. But Joker had no support here, away from everything that had made him what he was, and Akira was left to do his best not to show weakness. Did this officer recognize him? Did he remember him as someone who supposedly committed assault? Was that why he’d been stopped?
“You’re awfully jittery, kid,” the officer said. “Everything okay?”
“It’s just been a long week. I just want to get home,” Akira mumbled.
The officer chuckled. “I can agree with that. Go on, then. Just don’t get in any trouble on the way.”
He patted Akira on the shoulder as he walked away, and Akira flinched. Damn it, what was wrong with him? Nothing had even happened; he shouldn’t be reacting like this.
But his heart still thumped painfully in his chest, and leftover adrenaline fizzled sharply in his veins, and he walked home as quickly as he could. His parents still weren’t home from work, so he went up to his room and threw himself on his bed, waking a napping Morgana.
“Akira?” Morgana questioned, once he realized it wasn’t some sort of earthquake. “Is everything okay?”
“Got stopped by police on the way home…” Akira muttered into his pillow. “Wasn’t anything, he was just wondering where I was going, since I don’t stay for clubs, but… I don’t know, I shouldn’t be so freaked out.”
“No one’s going to blame you for being afraid of the police, after everything that happened,” Morgana pointed out, walking over to pat his face with a paw.
But Akira just made a disgruntled sound. “I’m not afraid,” he said. “I’m frustrated! I’m fine; I shouldn’t be shaking like I haven’t seen worse monsters. I’m still the leader of the Phantom Thieves; I should be better than this.”
Morgana grumbled in response, climbing up to lie down in a loaf on his back and purr loudly. “You should tell the others,” he said. “Or at least talk to them until you feel better.”
“They’re probably busy,” Akira huffed, but he obediently wiggled his phone out of his pocket without dislodging Morgana. For a moment, he looked over the last messages in the group chat, then typed one out and hit ‘send’.
[Haru - May 7, 2017] I’m still sad I missed you, Akira-kun. I’ll make sure there are no meetings scheduled during summer break.
[Akira - May 7, 2017] It’s really not your fault if they sprung it on you. But thank you.
[Yusuke - May 13, 2017] upload: {gallery.jpg}
[Ann - May 13, 2017] That looks so good!
[Makoto - May 13, 2017] It seems like you have a good crowd.
[Akira - May 13, 2017] I’m sorry I can’t be there, but definitely take more pictures.
[Yusuke - May 13, 2017] I will dm them to you.
[Ryuji - May 27, 2017] upload: {image0.jpg}
[Futaba - June 2, 2017] upload: {candle.jpg}
[Akira - June 2, 2017] ...thanks, Futaba.
[Akira - June 5, 2017] School is so boring without you guys. Even planning the class trip is no fun.
[Akira - June 9, 2017] Anyone have any ideas what we should do for summer break?
--- Today - June 15, 2017 ---
[Akira - 3:57pm] Apparently I’m just a police magnet. (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻
He set the phone facedown on his pillow and sighed. “Happy, now?”
Morgana kneaded at his back. “I’m just worried about you. Don’t be an ass like Ryuji.”
“I don’t want you to worry. I’m fine, Mona, seriously.” He was fine. He had to be fine, because if he wasn’t, he didn’t know how he was going to make it through the rest of this year.
***
There was no response to his message until that evening, when he was half-heartedly doing his math homework. Morgana perked up when he heard it, and Akira picked it up to check the messages.
[Haru - 7:18pm] Are you all right? What happened?
[Akira - 7:19pm] I’m fine. He just wanted to ask where I was going.
[Akira - 7:19pm] I’ve had time to calm down.
[Haru - 7:24pm] Thank goodness.
[Haru - 7:24pm] I was worried you might be in trouble again.
Akira flinched. He should have included context with his message. Now she had been worrying about him.
[Akira - 7:25pm] No, really everything is fine. Don’t worry about me.
[Haru - 7:28pm] I‘m glad you’re okay, but of course I’m going to worry.
[Haru - 7:28pm] If something is bothering you, you can tell us.
[Haru - 7:29pm] I have to go now; I have an important phone call. But remember what I said.
[Akira - 7:29pm] I will. Thanks, Haru.
“Why didn’t you tell her how bad it freaked you out?” Morgana asked, once he set the phone down. “You were shaking.”
“It’s past now. No big deal. I overreacted. And you saw what she said; she had a phone call.” Akira pulled his math workbook close again. He didn’t need this. He could take care of himself. “It won’t happen again. I know not to worry now.”
Morgana prowled back and forth, clearly unhappy with the answer, but he let Akira finish his homework in peace. It was only after he’d changed for bed and settled in that the cat nudged up against him worriedly. “Did any of the others respond?”
Akira shook his head. “They’re busy, Morgana. They probably saw me tell Haru everything was fine and knew they didn’t need to ask again.”
Morgana hesitated, then asked, “Are you going to text Goro?”
He could feel the way Akira’s breath hitched, just for a second. “No, Morgana. If he’s out there reading my messages, he doesn’t need to hear about me being ridiculous.”
“You…” But Morgana just sighed and curled up beside his head. Akira wasn’t as stubborn as Ryuji or Yusuke, but it was a near thing some days. Pushing him would just make him shut down. Morgana had seen that firsthand, months ago. The difference was that at the time, Akira hadn’t had time to process or let his dark thoughts catch up to him, but this…
At least he was here. Someone was around to keep an eye on Akira.