Chapter Text
The guard posted at the head of the throne room narrowly managed to dodge Shinobu’s flying shoe.
“Shinobu— ” her father began, ready to reprimand her for her misconduct with the strict tone he typically kept reserved for criminals and rowdy princes.
Shinobu marched away from her father, stomping her feet against the ground in protest.
“I already told you that I won’t do it!”
He sighed and took a step forward. “It would be beneficial for the kingdom—”
“I don’t care! I don’t want to get married, not now, not ever, and no one can make me!”
It was the latest argument in the neverending debate between the two of them. Her father, the steadily ageing king of their proud nation, had spent the better part of a year trying to convince Shinobu, the second and rowdiest of his three daughters, to get married so that the kingdom could continue to flourish for another generation more or whatever poetic line he came up with. Her answer had always been a very resounding no or I would rather pull out my own teeth than marry some stuffy old prince.
She took her leave in a huff, not bothering to hear her father out any longer or retrieve her shoe, though it wasn’t long before she heard the tapping of a guard’s feet behind her.
“Leave me alone! That’s an order!” she commanded without even turning around, leaving the guard to stand dumbly in the corridor.
“But Your Highness, your shoe!”
“Keep it! ”
She burst through the doors leading to the garden, frightening the workers trimming the bushes. They quickly scurried inside, her anger clear enough on her face for them to know to keep their distance.
“Ugh!” she shouted, grabbing her other shoe and throwing it as far as she could into a piece of topiary. “Why do I have to get married? Our kingdom is fine!” She began pacing alongside the rose bushes, ranting to no one but herself and the poor flowers. “What’s marriage going to do anyway? Bring world peace?”
She had never wanted to get married and had always made that clear to her father. He always seemed like he understood and had never pressured her to change her mind until after…
She was about to kick over one of the marble statues until someone cleared their throat behind her.
“ What? ” she shouted at the poor soul that had interrupted her mid-tirade. It was yet another guard, and if her father had sent him, she wouldn’t hesitate to pummel the living daylights out of him.
Seeing her fury, the guard stood up straighter. “Your Highness, I’m here to introduce you to your personal guard.”
Her eyes narrowed. “My personal what? Since when?”
“Your father requested that you be appointed one until you were wed. He said he informed you.”
She rolled her eyes and clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth. He definitely hadn’t told her and it was definitely for a reason. A personal guard? As if she needed another reason to argue with him. “Great. Go on then, what sad fool are you giving me?”
He tugged on his collar. “As you may know, there was a tournament held amongst all eligible guards to decide who was most fit to—”
“Am I supposed to be flattered? I don’t care, just get to the point.”
The guard sighed and stepped to the side, revealing a young man not much older than Shinobu but much taller, with inky black hair and a stern expression.
“This is Sir Tomioka. He’ll be your personal guard and will spend every waking moment by your side.”
The guard— Tomioka— nodded in acknowledgement.
“Fantastic,” Shinobu said dryly before turning her attention over to him.
He looked strong, she would give him that, and the way he kept his right hand firmly on the hilt of the sword at his hip proved he was more than ready to spring into action at any sign of any danger, unlike most guards who let their blades hang limply at their sides.
She sighed. She felt sorry for him. “I’m sure they pay you well, but I really don’t need you.”
The other guard was quick to reply. “I’m afraid it isn’t an option, Your Highness—”
“Yes, I’m aware.”
A few tense seconds passed between them before the guard nervously bowed and took his leave, all but scurrying back into the castle like a scared little mouse.
Now that they were alone, she properly faced her stone-faced guard, taking in his entire appearance from head to toe. He wore the traditional light blue tunic that all the guards wore, the royal crest embroidered in the center in shimmering white fabric. His cape was a deep crimson, a colour favoured by many of the guards, though he wore it not with the cocky air of the other men but with something else that she couldn’t yet name.
He was different from the others— that much was obvious just by looking at him. Even Shinobu, who had never paid attention to any of the guards in great detail, could see that as if it were spelt out in front of her.
“Do you normally talk to yourself in the garden?” Tomioka asked when they were left alone, bursting her pensive little bubble.
She felt her right eye twitch. “So what if I do?”
Taking a deep breath, she approached him to look him right in the eyes, ignoring the tremendous height difference between them and staring him on as though she were his equal in every possible way.
“I know you’re being paid to look after me and make sure I don’t die, but I recommend that you just stay out of my way. I’m not interested in being anyone’s damsel in distress.”
“Is that an order?” he asked with a cool voice devoid of any true emotion, the lack of feeling only serving to infuriate her more.
“You know what? Yes, yes it is! In fact, I order you to leave me alone right now.”
“I can’t do that.”
“And why not? You do know that I could report you for defying orders, right?”
“The king’s orders come first. And he ordered me to stay by your side.”
Her eyes narrowed into a threatening glare, one that made servants and trained soldiers flinch— but it didn’t do a thing to him. “Of course he did. This is just great !” She threw her hands up into the air. “I hope you don’t expect me to play nice.”
He only shrugged.
Huh. The silent type. Well, at least this way he would be tolerable. If she was lucky, she might even forget his presence entirely. If she was going to have a guard following her around all day, it was good enough that he wasn’t particularly chatty.
“So you’re going to be my guard until I get married?”
He nodded.
She scoffed at the thought. “Looks like you and I are going to have to tolerate each other for a long time then, because that’s the absolute last thing I will ever do.”
She gasped in sudden realization. Maybe this was what her father wanted, maybe he was doing this on purpose, making her deal with a guard until she got so annoyed that she was willing to do anything to get rid of them. It was smart, she would give him that, but she was far more determined than that.
Doesn’t mean I can’t make either of them suffer a little bit first.
“Sir Tomioka?” she said teasingly, widening her eyes and pursing her lips to look more innocent. “Do you know my schedule for today?”
He thought for a few moments. “You have a dress fitting in about ten minutes.”
She smiled as sweetly as she could, but even her facial muscles could feel the deception. “Yes, that’s correct. The seamstresses don’t like it when I’m late, but I can’t stand all the poking and measuring. I’m sure you can understand.”
Shrug.
“I’m assuming you’ll be escorting me so I make it safely and on time, right?”
He nodded.
She leaned up on her tiptoes, her face mere inches from his as she whispered, “Then catch me if you can.”
She burst into a run across the garden, laughing as she raced across the lawn to the sound of his feet quickly chasing after her. She took a soaring leap over a rosebush and almost crashed into one of the angel statues, but even that wasn’t enough to stop her.
She ran as fast as her legs could take her, the wind blowing through her hair and filling her with the familiar rush of adrenaline that she always craved. She neared a small pond near the edge of the garden, set on continuing their race into the forest that bordered the castle.
Only to suddenly be captured in strong, unrelenting arms that dragged her into the water.
They landed in the pond with a loud splash, his arms never letting go of her body as he pulled her back onto the grass. Although it had only taken them seconds to resurface, they were both soaked to the bone.
Shinobu stared up at Tomioka, who was now lying on top of her, with an open mouth and warm cheeks. Not only had she never known anyone that could keep up with her running pace, but she had also never had a guard go to such lengths to stop her escape.
She had also never been this close to a man, but that was a topic for another time.
“Did you just— did you really …?” she stuttered out, finding herself at a loss for words.
She stared at him in disbelief as they both caught their breaths, doing her best to ignore the weight of his body on hers and his intense stare as he looked down at her.
“You… you are unbelievable!”
“I had to stop you from escaping,” was all he said before finally rolling off her. “You can’t get far in wet clothes.”
She stood up and wrung out the water in her hair. “Neither can you.”
“So we’re even.”
She scoffed. “You’re crazy. What kind of guard have they stuck me with?”
He extended his arm for her to take. “We should get to your fitting. You’ll be late.”
She walked past his outstretched arm and continued towards the castle, effectively ignoring her pounding heart.
Shinobu quickly vaulted herself into the tree.
She laughed shakily as she caught her breath, wiping the sweat off her brow and leaning back against the trunk smugly. She even ignored the branch her dress had caught onto, not bothering to try and untangle it.
Third time truly was the charm, as this was now her third attempt at climbing over the castle walls to escape from her father and her guard. Tomioka had been successful at catching her mid-climb the first two times but wasn’t quick enough this time around.
For the last several weeks, he had been tailing her like an annoying shadow that just wouldn't go away, not even when the sun had already set or when the moon was high in the sky. Just like a shadow, he was noiseless, completely silent in every possible way. It had gotten to the point where she often forgot he was there or believed that he had finally left, only to turn around and find him behind her, stoic and vigilant like the statue of an old general. His footsteps made no noise and he rarely spoke, even when spoken to. She had grown somewhat used to his presence, but she still wasn't happy about him being there in the first place.
Replacing the growing scowl on her face with a grin, she picked one of the apples off her tree and was about to take a big bite before pausing at the sound of boots running nearby.
No way. He couldn’t have found her already. There was no way —
Tomioka emerged from behind a bush, his hand poised over his sword. If she stayed completely still, maybe he wouldn’t see her…
“Oh. There you are,” he said as he looked up at her.
“How do you always manage to catch up with me?” she asked with a huff, glaring daggers at the sword on his hip, the sun casting a sharp reflection on it as though to mock her.
“Are you going to get down?”
“You know,” she began spitefully, ignoring his question, “when people leave without alerting others, it’s usually because they want to be alone.”
His brows furrowed and he extended a hand to help her down. “That’s not an option you have.”
She sighed in annoyance. “Thanks for the reminder. I can get down on my own.”
She easily slipped off the tree, though the part of her dress that had caught onto the branch remained stuck. She pulled on it, growing angrier as it refused to come free. She was two seconds away from just ripping the damn thing when a longer arm stretched over her head to set it free.
She scoffed. “Don’t expect a ‘thank you.’ I don’t want to go back anyway.”
He said nothing as he led her on her walk of shame back to the castle, even while going through the courtyard where several of the guards watched her and whispered amongst themselves.
The princess tried escaping again.
Why would she try leaving? She has everything here!
You think any of it’s enough for her?
Cut her some slack, you know she hasn’t been the same since...
Shinobu turned away from them. She couldn’t expect such mindless men to understand.
Naturally, her father was furious with her again as he scolded her for running away again before praising her guard for catching her again.
Shinobu just listened to him as smoke practically came out of her ears, only calming down when she was finally allowed to stomp back to her room.
With Tomioka trailing behind her, of course. Like always.
Six escape attempts and three stolen horses later, her father finally put his foot down.
“This is getting ridiculous, Shinobu!” he roared, appearing to only be seconds away from bringing down the walls. “Even if you succeeded in escaping, where would you go?"
"Anywhere but here!"
Shinobu turned to the wall where Tomioka stood in silence, listening to every word. He looked away as soon as they locked eyes, instead choosing to focus on an uninteresting bookshelf.
Her father sighed and began sifting through letters on his desk, settling on a light blue envelope.
"I think that what you need is something to do and I have just the thing. You'll be sent on my behalf to improve our diplomatic ties in the west."
Shinobu whirled around. "You want me to improve diplomatic ties?"
It wasn’t that she was an unlikeable person, she just… had an attitude that a majority of people didn’t agree with. In her humble opinion, it was based more on their character than hers, but it certainly never made having friends or trusted companions any easier.
"It could be a good lesson for you, yes. And when you return, we will hold a ball in your honour and invite all potentially eligible suitors so you may find a husband."
She gawked at her father, her mouth open wide in shock. “You-you’re going to force me to pick someone?”
“I’ve given you plenty of time to make a choice until now,” her father said, leaning back against his chair in a way she knew meant no negotiations would be held.
“W-well, what if I don’t like anyone?”
“Then I’ll make the decision for you.”
Shinobu found herself at a loss for words, the mere prospect of an arranged marriage making her nauseous. She held onto her skirt with white fists and looked back at Tomioka, but he refused to meet her gaze.
She turned back to her father with pointed daggers in her eyes, wanting nothing more than to wipe that satisfied smile off his face. “And how do you know I’ll come back from the diplomatic mission?”
He smiled as if he were anticipating the threat. “Sir Tomioka will go with you, of course. He’ll make sure you return home safe and sound, won’t you?”
All eyes turned to Tomioka, who nodded.
Shinobu’s emotions rose like ocean water that threatened to pull her under, a heavy weight suddenly settling on her chest that wouldn’t allow her to breathe no matter how desperately she kicked and struggled to free herself.
Her life, her passion, her drive, every piece that made her exactly who she was— it was all like a candle whose flame blazed steadily over the years, flickering in excitement or in anger that fueled her. Marriage, on the other hand, the binding of her life to another, to someone she didn’t want, was like a bucket of water ready to snuff her flame, to ruin her wick and ensure that she never burned brightly ever again, not for anything or anyone, even herself.
It wasn’t always this way; once upon a time, she wasn’t expected to be married, or to be queen. Once upon a time, her father had looked at her with a pleased smile and declared that she’d be allowed to do anything and go anywhere.
But that was a long time ago, in an era that had long since disappeared.
Realistically, she knew what was expected of her: become queen, find a suitable husband, and produce an heir. The duty had been thrust upon her despite not being properly prepared and she knew that there was no fighting it; not when the very person who was born to play the role could no longer step onto the stage.
Even then, she would fight tooth and nail for something more. She would fight until her knuckles were bloody and her throat was sore until she took her final breath.
She turned back to her father, facing him with all the strength and determination she could muster in her beaten and worn heart. “Father, please, let’s talk about this first—”
“No, Shinobu. There will be no more talking. I suggest you head back to your room and get some rest because you'll be leaving first thing tomorrow morning.”
All the strength she’d built up left her body in an unstoppable rush, so much so that she felt like one step would be enough to send her crashing into the floor.
“You never know, it could finally be the key to your happiness,” he said in a terrible attempt at soothing her.
“Get married, Shinobu. Fall in love and be happy.”
She dug her nails into her palm, fighting against the urge to cover her ears. The owner of that voice wasn’t here.
“That’s impossible,” she said. “A man could never make me feel like that and I don’t want one to make me feel like that!”
With what little power she had left, she managed to storm out of the room.
She raced along the corridors to her bedroom, raced against the sudden onslaught of fear and pain that was welling up in her chest and the tears that began to sting the back of her eyes, her trembling shoulders and frantic mind. No one could see her like this, as weak and vulnerable as she was now.
She only paused when the door to her room didn’t shut with a slam as she intended, but a soft click. Whirling around, she found Tomioka, ever the faithful guard, standing behind her, his face unreadable in the dim light and her blurry vision.
“Enjoying the show?” she spat out, the tears that sat defiantly in her eyes only mere seconds from falling. “I can’t have a single moment to myself these days, can I?” She rubbed her eyes with the back of her hand in an effort to keep the tears at bay, but it only made them begin streaming down her face. “I know it’s your job to look after me, but can I please be alone for a bit?”
He looked at her silently for a few seconds, then made his way to the balcony and shut the doors behind him, leaving her alone in the darkness of her room.
She stared at the closed doors for what seemed like an eternity, still in disbelief that he had listened to her.
Quietly, she slipped into a clean nightgown and wrapped herself in her bedsheets. She shuffled to the large window near her bed that faced the vast forests outside the castle and the bushes of dark blue hydrangeas that grew within it.
“I wish you were still here,” she whispered tearfully.
If she concentrated with all her might, she could almost make out two little girls sneaking to the forest from the palace and sitting by the dark blue flowers, the older of the two pointing and explaining its unique features in an excited whisper.
“This is the only place they grow in the whole wide world. That means that they’re as special and unique as you!”
Her breath shuddered with every passing second, though it was only after the clock had chimed twelve that she finally allowed herself to fall into the deep ocean of her heart, tears falling without restraint and sobs echoing throughout the room.
Shinobu woke up the next morning with puffy eyes, a half-plugged nose, and a raging headache that made her temples hurt whenever she tried to think. She was in a state of mind where she would have given up her soul for just another hour of sleep, wanting nothing more than to sink back into the covers to avoid facing her problems.
“Good morning,” someone murmured quietly.
Oh look, there was one of them already.
She looked up and found Tomioka standing by the door, his posture straight and his hand over his sword, which she was coming to note as his typical pose.
She was suddenly aware of what felt like a bird’s nest on her head and the fact that her eyes were undoubtedly tinged red, only to realize that she didn’t really care if she didn’t look put-together in front of him— she had never cared much for other people’s opinions and she wasn’t about to start now.
“Morning,” she groaned, yawning loudly a few seconds later.
“Are you—”
“I would appreciate it if you didn’t mention what happened last night to anyone,” she immediately demanded, brushing fingers through her hair in an effort to straighten it out. “Though I suppose you wouldn’t since it seems like you don’t have any friends.”
He stared at her blankly. “I have friends.”
Oops. She hadn’t meant to say it out loud. Oh, well, she was in too deep now. “Sure you do. Anywho.”
She rose up from the bed, stretching her limbs and cracking her joints in what would probably be a rather entertaining display for anyone other than him.
It was the cold stone against her feet that finally shocked her back into reality, her father’s orders hitting her like a boulder.
She would be leaving for the diplomatic mission today, a journey that would easily take about two days. She would have to stay at least a week and a half for the mandatory dinners and inevitable pleasantries, then perhaps a parade or celebration to show off the alliance, then two days to return home. She estimated that the whole process would take about two weeks, give or take a day or two.
Two weeks. Two weeks until she would be back home in the bed three times her size. Two weeks until she would be back in the fitting room with seamstresses buzzing around her with colourful fabrics and pins in their mouths. Two weeks until the ball where she would be forced to sign away her freedom, her youth, and her passion— the very things that made her who she was. Two weeks until she wouldn’t be Shinobu Koucho anymore, but someone’s bride, someone’s lady, someone’s wife.
Her gaze shifted to the floor, her fingers cruelly clutching the innocent bedsheets. “When are we leaving?”
“In an hour. The maids already prepared your things. You just need to get dressed and eat.”
She nodded grimly, rising from her bed and making her way to the oak wardrobe that stood in the corner of the room.
She settled on a simple lavender dress and equally simple egg breakfast, or she had until her father arrived and had her meal replaced with something grander and sent her back upstairs to change into something more ‘appropriate.’
She was forced into a striking red gown and hat despite her insistence that it was pointless since she’d be travelling for the entire day, but her father wouldn’t hear any of it. It seemed to her that he was prepping her for her loss of freedom, getting her used to the idea of no longer making her own decisions about anything, not even what she ate or wore.
Some of the noblewomen were there to see her off and praise her dress, which only made Shinobu’s frown deeper.
“Remember to smile while you’re there! No one likes a grumpy princess!” one of them mocked, her attitude as fake as the smile she wore on her face.
Shinobu smiled bitterly, trying not to feel like she was also playing the part of the fool.
Tomioka opened the carriage door for her and silently held out his hand to help her aboard. Shinobu took a single glance at it and rolled her eyes, choosing to enter the carriage on her own.
“I have a question for you,” Shinobu asked an hour into their trip once she had gotten sick of counting the clouds. “Don’t you get bored looking after me all day?”
While she had contemplated the trees outside and how long it would take to climb them, she had also been studying him from the corner of her eye, watching him silently look from her, to his sword, to the floor, barely blinking and only moving when the carriage rattled them back and forth.
He shrugged, settling his gaze outside for the first time. “It's my duty.”
Thanks for answering the question. “Well, it looks boring. I’m probably not the most fun person to be around unless you’re chasing me through the forest.”
“You’re not boring,” he said, and that was that.
A few beats of silence passed between them before she spoke up again.
“You really don’t talk much. Why is that?”
“I don’t enjoy it.”
“Huh. Well, I do, so expect a lot of it. I could always order you to talk more, but that doesn’t seem fair, so I’ll hold back for now.” She slouched further into her seat and shifted a rowdy lock of hair away from her eyes. “So, tell me about yourself.”
His eyebrows knitted together. “Like what?”
She hummed in pretend contemplation. “Like about your hometown. How you ended up working at the castle. How many soldiers you needed to beat up just to be stuck with me.” She laughed dryly. “Your friends, if you actually have any, or your fellow soldiers, your family—”
“I don’t see why you have to know.”
“Well, I don’t have to know, but I’d like to.”
He eyed her suspiciously.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked.
“I thought you only worried about yourself.”
The statement caught her way off guard, forcing any witty retort she could have come up with to get stuck in her throat.
“Is that what you think of me?” she finally asked bitterly, swallowing down her sudden nervousness.
“It’s what most people say.”
Her eyes went wide in shock, her mouth freezing around her words. It’s what most people say.
“Y-you’re awfully blunt, aren’t you?” she shouted, turning away from him with crossed arms. “Doesn’t your mind process your words before you say them?”
The devil on her shoulder nudged her, tempting her to say more, to ask more about what people thought of her.
“What else do they say about me?” she asked quietly, despising how her tone betrayed her.
He shook his head, seeming to finally have found some common sense. Part of her was relieved, but the other part that thrived on curiosity leaned forward, yearning for more.
“I order you… to tell me,” she drew out slowly.
His dark eyes remained fixed on the passing greenery as he spoke. “They say you’re overemotional. That you’re always angry and it clouds your judgement.”
She bit the inside of her cheek. “Well, part of that is true,” she mumbled. “Wouldn’t you always be angry if people were always telling you what to do?”
“That’s life.”
“But it doesn’t have to be!”
Her outburst silenced them both and she was in no mood to start up the conversation again.
The last thing she expected was for him to continue instead.
“Why don’t you want to get married?”
She looked at him carefully, but his expression betrayed nothing. She had no obligation to tell him anything about herself or her feelings. If she chose to stay silent, to do nothing more than grumble and look away, there wasn’t a thing he could do in retaliation.
But if she chose to speak, there was a slight chance he could help her. Perhaps he could help her escape just before the ball, or even now on the way to their destination. She wasn’t afraid to jump from a moving carriage and into the trees. She was more than willing to do anything to secure her freedom, and he would be a great partner to do it with. He could keep up, he wouldn’t slow her down…
…But he was her guard.
Her surging heart plummeted down, pulling any bit of hope with it. He would never help her. He was bound to his own promises, promises made to her father to bring her back safe and sound at the end of their trip, promises to stay by her side until she walked down the aisle and signed herself away.
“You don’t need to know,” she whispered, looking into his dark eyes. “It won’t change a thing.”
He leaned forward, shrinking the space between them. He opened his mouth to speak—
The carriage crashed into a halt.
Notes:
Thus begins my first attempt at a multichapter! I won't commit to any update schedule, but I'll try to pump out new chapters as soon as I can. Thank you for reading!
Chapter 2: Damsel in Distress
Chapter Text
“Ow!”
Shinobu rubbed her reddened skin, her forehead aching from where it accidentally banged against Tomioka’s head.
“You’re really thick-skulled aren’t you—”
“Be quiet.”
She arched an eyebrow in retaliation. “Excuse me– hmph!”
He slapped a hand over her mouth, effectively silencing her.
So she bit him.
He flinched his hand away with a groan, rubbing it against his leg to soothe the pain as he stared at her in surprise.
“Don’t test me,” she warned, crossing her arms against her chest as she leaned back.
He shook his head in disbelief before reaching for the door. “I’m going to see what happened. Stay here.”
“I don’t know, it seems like a good opportunity to run off, don’t you think?” she teased, a sneaky grin making its way onto her face.
“Princess.”
Her smile immediately dropped, the firmness in his voice momentarily stunning her. It was the first time he had ever called her by her title, and although it sounded rather nice in his voice, she found herself never wanting him to use it again.
She sighed deeply, slinking further back into her seat. “Fine. I’ll be good.”
He nodded in acknowledgement and stepped out with his hand over his sword, the door snapping shut behind him.
There was nothing but silence for several beats— even the birds had gone eerily quiet with not a single song left in the air, not even through an echo. Everything was completely still, making her feel as though she was the only living thing for miles. A chill ran through her despite there not being a single hint of a breeze.
Swallowing nervously, she pulled away the curtains covering the window of the other door, craning her neck to look outside as best she could without drawing any attention to herself, only to loudly gasp at what she saw.
The driver lay on the ground with his eyes closed and a pool of blood forming around his head.
Shinobu’s entire body became hyperaware, adrenaline beginning to course through her veins. Quickly flicking the curtain closed, she leaned back against the seat, praying that whoever was outside wouldn’t discover her there.
Taking deep breaths, she thought of Tomioka. As much as she teased or made fun of him, she knew she could put her trust in him to protect her.
Deep, jeering chuckles came from outside the carriage followed by the sound of a sword being unsheathed. Shifting over to the side Tomioka had exited from, she listened closely.
“Those trunks have got the royal emblem on them, don’t they? Now, what might a fella like you be doing with those?” an unknown man asked, the amusement in his gruff voice betraying the fact that he clearly already knew the answer to his own question. “Say, isn’t that the same crest on your shirt there? Heh, you’re one of them royal guards, ain’t ya? In fact, I’d wager that someone else is in that carriage with ya, someone very, very important.”
Before she could react, the other carriage door was ripped open, bringing her face to face with a large man, the knowing smirk on his face making her blood boil. He reached over and grabbed her wrist before she could even contemplate escape, easily pulling her towards him and ensnaring her against his chest. He pressed a meaty arm over her middle and although she struggled against him with all her might, her small size and ridiculous dress made it impossible for her to win.
“Let me go! Get your dirty hands off me!” she yelled as he dragged her outside to the group of men.
There were five of them standing there, the man trapping her making six in total. Each of them held daggers in their hands and most of them were staring up at the trunks lodged on top of the carriage.
Looking over, she caught Tomioka’s gaze, his eyes wide and knuckles white as he gripped the hilt of his sword. His typically passive gaze was sharpened into a dark glare.
“Well, well, well, who do we have here?” the same man from earlier sneered. “What a lovely red dress you have, milady. Not just anyone can wear red, can they? No, no, that’s an expensive dye, ain’t it, Princess ?”
She scowled at the men as they all laughed repulsively, the constant storm in her head growing with every passing second.
“Let me go. Now,” she ordered.
The man, who could only be the ringleader of the whole affair, looked at her in amusement. “Ya hear that, men? The princess ordered us to let her go!”
She huffed and looked at the leader head-on. “If you want the trunks, then just take them, I don’t care.”
The leader smirked and licked his lips menacingly. “That’s quite generous of ya, but a pretty princess is worth much more than a bunch of dresses, don’t ya think?”
The grip around her tightened and her captor’s hand settled over her mouth, just as Tomioka’s had moments before.
So she bit him.
He yelled out and moved his hand away from her just long enough for her to kick him in the groin, sending him to the ground to clutch himself in pain.
Using the distraction to his advantage, Tomioka began attacking the other men, severely slashing one of them and bashing the hilt of his sword against the head of another.
She scrambled to the top of the carriage, climbing it as though it were any other oak tree, and began lunging the trunks at them, successfully knocking two men unconscious.
The men she was unable to incapacitate were quickly met by calculated slashes from Tomioka’s sword, which swung like a ray of silver in the afternoon sun. She couldn’t help but become entranced by the way he nimbly moved across the forest floor, hypnotized by the way he swiftly dodged every attempt to wound him.
She watched as he successfully knocked all the men down, leaving them to groan on the ground. She doubted any of them were mortally wounded, meaning they only had moments before one would be well enough to rise again. Without thinking, she hopped off the roof and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the thick of the forest and as far away from the group as they could manage.
They raced through the trees as quickly as their legs could carry them, and although Shinobu prided herself on being quite fast, her large dress put her at a disadvantage. If she had been able to wear the lavender one, then she’d be able to run more easily.
They ran until both their lungs and legs were begging them to stop and rest, and by then they had already left the men miles behind.
She thanked the gods when they finally reached a creek, the mere sight of water filling her with instant relief. As they approached it, they fell to the ground in exhaustion, both of them panting heavily in sync.
“Are you…” pant, pant, “alright?” he asked.
“Yeah,” pant, “I think so.”
She fell backwards to lie on the grass, not caring about the dirt that would end up in her hair and in the dress. She hated the stupid thing anyway and it was the absolute least of their worries.
“What will we do?” he asked.
“You’re the guard. Aren’t you supposed to know?” she replied despite knowing it wasn’t fair of her. Even after a near-death situation, she still couldn’t resist snapping at him, could she?
She recalled what he’d said in the carriage about what others thought of her. Most people believed she was selfish, only concerned with herself and her own issues. Maybe it was true. No. It was definitely true.
But if she didn’t care about her problems, who would? Her little sister, Kanao, had her own dilemmas to deal with, ones that Shinobu had never been able to fully understand. Now that Kanao was currently second-in-line for the throne, those dilemmas had only intensified. There had always only been one person that could understand them both completely, one person who always gave the best advice and the wisest words, but she wasn’t around to help them anymore.
Shinobu slowly sat up and crawled to the creek. Cupping her hands together, she took some water and drank.
The water felt like sweet honey against her tongue. She drank more and more and more like a person who hadn’t known any sort of drink for weeks. Behind her, she could feel Tomioka’s eyes boring into her back before he joined her, taking bigger gulps than she did.
“At that rate, you’ll drain the whole creek!” she giggled, finding it oddly amusing for some reason.
“It’s a stream.”
“Oh, hush, let me have this.”
She could only wonder what her father would think if he saw her now, kneeling on the forest floor with twigs in her hair, dirt on her cheeks, a terribly torn dress, and drinking water straight from the stream. It made her want to burst into laughter.
Take a long look at your daughter. This is who she really is: messy and angry and free.
When she was finally satisfied, she knelt comfortably by the stream, thinking back on the deadly scenario they had just been a part of.
“You were really good back there,” she said calmly, playing with a torn blade of grass.
He stared at her as though she had just grown a second head.
“ What? It’s a compliment. Just don’t get used to it.”
His eyes left hers to look at the stream, silently watching the water run before speaking quietly. “I wasn’t.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, yes you were.”
He shook his head. “No. I couldn’t protect you.”
“On the contrary, you did a pretty good job at that. Half the guards would have wet their pants back there,” she said with a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood to no avail.
“You had to escape your captor on your own.”
“What was I supposed to do, wait around for you to rescue me like the white knight of some fairytale? I don’t think so.”
When he still wouldn’t meet her gaze, she changed her point of attack.
“Shouldn’t you know by now that I don’t like sitting around? If you wanted someone to wait for you to save them, you should have chosen to guard a different girl.”
Finally, his eyes locked on hers, surprising her with how vulnerable they appeared to be. This clearly wasn’t a topic he wished to continue discussing, but the curious devil on her shoulder from earlier had returned to beg for more.
“We’re safe now,” she continued. “Why does it bother you so much?”
His eyes appeared weary, making him look as though he had lived dozens of lifetimes, each of them more painful than the last. They weren’t the eyes of a spirited young guard ready to prove himself— they were the eyes of someone who had gone through too much already.
She recognized eyes like that.
“You don’t need to know. It won’t change a thing,” he finally said, echoing her own words back at her.
A sharp boom burst through the air, the sound reminding her of a cannon being fired. Both their gazes flew to the sky where a large, slate grey cloud watched over them, tucking away the sun that had been shining over them earlier in the day.
“We need to go,” he said, getting to his feet. “If we follow the current, we may be able to find a village.”
She nodded and got up from the ground, internally cursing at herself all the while. She shouldn’t have pushed him for answers just to satisfy her own curiosity, not after getting angry with him earlier for trying to do the same to her. She really was selfish after all.
Another bout of thunder echoed through the sky, forcing them into a faster walk.
They walked comfortably for some time, albeit silently until the oncoming storm grew tired of waiting and finally began to pour. What started as a slow trickle of water, soft and refreshing against their sweat-stained skin, eventually turned into a heavy downpour that showered over them.
He quickened his pace, resulting in Shinobu needing to resort to light jogging in order to keep up with him. Still, regardless of how quickly they moved, they were both already drenched, their clothing sticking to them like a second skin.
She began laughing, her giggles growing louder as she realized how messy she must have looked with her hair plastered to her forehead and her dress drooping around her like a dead flower.
“I want all those stuffy princes to see me like this! See how many of them want me after that!” she yelled gleefully, twirling around as though she were in the middle of a ballroom and not a summer storm. Consumed by her newfound joy, she tore her hat off her head and tossed it into the woods, happy to finally be rid of the ugly thing. She hoped a bird would make a good nest out of it to give it some actual purpose.
Tomioka finally stopped. He seemed as though he were about to question her, only to take notice of something else.
“What?” she shouted over the rain, a large smile on her tired face.
“I’ve never seen you smile like that.”
“Like what?” she asked with a laugh.
“Genuinely. You look good like that.”
He continued on nonchalantly, leaving her stunned behind him.
“You look so cute like that, Shinobu!” she cheered, pinching Shinobu’s cheeks until they were bright pink.
Shinobu’s smile disappeared into a pout as she fought her way out of the attack. “Hmph.”
“Oh, come on, give me another smile! A real one!”
Shinobu shook her head to bring herself back to reality before scurrying to catch up with Tomioka.
As she trailed a few steps behind him, she took in his dishevelled appearance, his dirty and wrinkled tunic a far cry from the polished guard she was used to seeing. She was about three seconds away from teasing him about it before she noticed that a part of his sleeve was a deep crimson red.
“Stop,” she ordered sternly.
He did as he was told, allowing her to approach him and investigate his arm. When she touched the dark part of the sleeve, he winced.
“Were you injured earlier?” Her brows furrowed together.
“It’s nothing big… just a scratch.”
“‘Just a scratch?’ Are you kidding me?” She pointed at a large, nearby rock. “Sit.”
“We’re in the middle of a storm.”
“Sit. Down. Let me see your arm.”
Sighing, he made his way over to the rock and sat, much to her satisfaction. He unbuttoned the top of his tunic just enough to slide his arm out, allowing her to examine him freely.
There was a deep gash in his upper left arm, the surrounding area tinged a light red from the blood. The wound wasn’t deep enough to cause any serious damage, though he had lost a fair amount of blood. She would have to clean the wound as soon as possible, but she couldn’t until the bleeding was completely under control.
She knelt beside him and held up the cleanest part of her skirt, ripping off a piece of it to tie around his arm as a makeshift tourniquet.
“I can’t believe you were bleeding out this whole time and didn’t say anything,” she reprimanded as she tied a knot.
“We had to keep moving.”
“Do you realize how ridiculous you sound? What if you passed out from the blood loss, hmm? What then?”
He looked away shamefully. “It wasn’t that deep.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
She stood up and admired her handiwork. Not bad, but it could be better. It was the first time she had ever tied a tourniquet to a real person.
“I’ll clean it after we find some shelter,” she said before marching forward.
He soon followed behind her. “I can do it on my own,” he mumbled.
“For some reason, I don’t believe that—”
They both paused at the sight of a faint light in the distance, a sign of life the rain attempted to drown away.
Picking up their pace once more, they hurried along the stream, watching it gradually widen into a much larger body of water until they finally reached a long wooden bridge. Across it was what she could just barely make out as a village, though the storm currently had it painted over in darkness.
They raced across the bridge, the grass giving away to wood as the lake beneath them roared with the storm, believing itself to be a vast ocean instead of in-land water.
The village itself was as dark as the sky; very few windows still had hints of light peeking through thick curtains, the flickering candles illuminating their path like a funeral march. Tomioka nudged her arm and pointed to one of the larger buildings— near what she assumed to be the village square if the towering fountain was any indication. A weathered sign hung from the building that read Moonlight Inn in pale blue cursive.
Sighs of relief ran through both of them as another burst of thunder crashed through the air.
“Don’t mention your title!” he instructed over the storm.
She snorted smugly. “With pleasure!”
He took a step forward and lightly knocked on the door.
“No one’s going to hear that!” she said before marching forward to pound on the door with all her might.
Ah. It felt good.
She heard the turning of latches before the door swung open, revealing a young woman with bright pink and green hair, the colours a striking contrast against the jet-black evening.
She looked back and forth from Shinobu to Tomioka, her cheeks growing red as she ushered them inside.
“Come in, come in!” she urged, shutting the door behind them. “Oh, what are you doing out in a storm like this? It’s admirable, really...”
Shinobu went straight to the fire that steadily burned in a stone hearth against the wall, falling to the ground in her wet clothes and stretching her arms out to warm them. All of the enthusiasm she had felt while spinning in the rain fell away as she shivered and struggled to catch her breath.
As she gradually regained her strength, she examined the spacious room, taking note of a dark green couch, several bookshelves, and a large mahogany desk with a book open upon it. It was exactly what she expected an inn to look like, though the storm she had just emerged from made it feel like heaven.
Tomioka soon joined her by the fire, though he remained standing as he rubbed his hands together.
“Do you have any rooms available?” he asked.
“Huh? Oh! Right!” the woman replied flusteredly as she scrambled to the desk. She looked worriedly at the pages of the open book, nervously biting her lip. “Oh dear… we’re rather full right now…”
Shinobu’s heart began racing. Although she’d had a good deal of fun in the rain earlier, now that she had known the warmth of a fire, the last thing she wanted was to return to the cold. She moved to her feet, doing her best to appear as regal as she could in a soaked dress.
“Do you know who I am? I’m the pr—”
Tomioka had the audacity to cover her mouth with his hand again. “There’s nothing you can do?”
She lightly nibbled his hand in warning.
The woman turned back to the book and carefully analyzed it again. “W-well, it’s our festival season now, so we have lots of out-of-town visitors… oh! There’s a room left, but I’m afraid it’s a bit small.”
“It’s okay. We’ll take it.”
The woman smiled, her shoulders slumping down in relief. “Perfect! Can I get your full name?”
Shinobu was about to give her name on instinct before Tomioka cut her off.
“Giyuu Tomioka.”
Giyuu?
It was the first time she’d ever heard his first name. In fact, until now she’d always assumed that Tomioka was his first name, though she’d never bothered to ask him about it.
There you go thinking about no one other than yourself again, Shinobu.
The woman escorted them to their new room, which was relatively small just as she said. Shinobu had never been in such a small bedroom, much less one that she would have to spend the night in.
The walls were a pale blue with a small painting of a flower bouquet hanging just next to the window, the colours barely visible due to the storm’s ever-present shadows. Against the opposite wall was a twin bed that sported a dark oak headboard and light purple sheets; next to it, standing proudly like her own ever-vigilant guard, was a nightstand of the same wood with a water pitcher and towel. To the far right of it was a dark blue dresser and a small door leading elsewhere.
It was a far cry from the exquisite rooms Shinobu had spent her entire life in, the ones that showed off large queen beds with silk curtains and velvet pillows that were more decorative than comfortable, ones where tiny Cupids and cherubs looked down from the ceiling as one slept with tiny marble harps and trumpets in their hands, or ornate golden curlicue that twisted one’s eyes if one tried to follow them. Instead, this room reminded Shinobu of the delicate little cottages in children’s storybooks and she found that she rather liked its simplicity.
The woman left briefly and returned moments later with a pile of blankets, towels, and a change of clothes.
“I don’t know how well these’ll fit, but they’re the only ones I can get right now,” she explained sympathetically. “That door leads to a room where you can wash up.”
Shinobu gladly snatched the dress folded on top of the pile, eager to get the ridiculous red gown off her once and for all. The thought of destroying it had made her giddy.
“Thank you,” Tomioka said with a bow.
Shinobu’s head shot up. She had almost forgotten. “You wouldn’t happen to have any gauze, would you? And some clean water?”
The woman appeared surprised by the request but quickly nodded. “Sure! Be right back!”
In the meantime, Shinobu went into the next room— a small, cramped space with white walls, a silver mirror and a wide washbasin. As she slowly peeled the red atrocity off her, fighting with the dozens of ribbons and buttons that held it together before kicking it to the side to deal with tomorrow, she heard the woman return and bid them farewell for the night. Then with the click of the door, she was gone.
Shinobu sighed contentedly as the soft cotton of her borrowed nightgown met her skin, the fabric heavenly against her body. She wasn’t even annoyed by the fact that it was meant for someone bigger than she was; it only meant that she could easily use the sleeves as weapons. It made her grin a little.
When she stepped out from the room, Tomioka was already dressed in his own borrowed clothes and drying his hair.
Giyuu, she corrected. His name was Giyuu.
Much like her, the clothes weren’t the best fit for him, though his ran smaller instead of larger. His pants rode halfway up his shin and his shirt couldn’t be buttoned all the way up.
In a flash of lightning, she caught a well-lit glimpse of his warm skin, water droplets still running down the length of his neck and spilling onto the top of his chest. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed and Shinobu found herself momentarily hypnotized by the sight before returning to her senses. The rain must have gotten to her head.
Choosing to ignore the intrusive thought, she reached for the gauze that had been left on the nightstand and one of the smaller towels in the pile.
“I’ll clean your wound and then we’ll go to bed,” she said. “Don’t waste time complaining about it either, I want to sleep.”
He wordlessly bared his arm to her, seemingly too tired to argue.
She set to work on cleaning him up, dipping one end of the towel into the water and wiping away any excess with the other. All the while, she could feel his eyes boring into her, carefully watching her every move.
“Relax, I won’t mess up,” she teased. “You don’t have to be so tense.”
“Where did you learn to do this? You’re good.”
“I read it in a book I found in the library, then practiced on myself whenever I got hurt,” she said, beaming with pride.
“Why?”
She stared at his wound, mind no longer concentrating on him or her surroundings, but on memories from long ago— memories of pale skin and coughing fits and bloody sheets that still haunted her every waking moment. She had been useless then; she refused to be now.
“Why did you learn how to fight?” she counteracted, changing the subject.
He looked down. “I had my reasons.”
It was the answer she’d expected. “And so did I.”
She wrapped the wound over with gauze, then helped him slide his arm back into his sleeve. When all was said and done, she fell back onto the bed with a sigh.
Wait a moment. Bed. Not beds. Bed. As in one. Singular. One bed.
She shot up as if struck by the lightning outside, alarming Giyuu in the process.
“What’s wrong?” he asked concernedly, immediately jumping to his feet.
“There’s only one bed.”
He looked at her blankly and shrugged his shoulders before going back to drying his hair.
“Wh– this is serious!” she cried. “What are we going to do? We can’t sleep in the same bed, I could be ruined if anyone found out—”
“I thought you didn’t care.”
“I—”
I don’t, she wanted to say, only to find that she couldn’t. For her, it would be beneficial to be ruined, wouldn’t it? To be undesirable, to have no man want her as their wife. It would save her.
And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She couldn’t accept the blessing in disguise. Why—
“My dream is to see you walk down the aisle someday, so you better fall in love soon, Shinobu!”
Shinobu sank back into the pillows, folding her arms over her chest.
“Don’t worry. I’ll sleep on the floor,” he said, pulling one of the pillows out from under her. “We’ll figure out how to get back tomorrow.”
Back. Back to her trip. Back to her prison. She’d almost forgotten about the diplomatic mission and upcoming ball entirely, having lost herself in the downpour and fairytale-like inn. All of it would be washed away in the morning when the sun rose and the streets dried, her rosy dream shattering along with it into thousands of indiscernible pieces. In the morning she would be a princess again.
But for tonight, she would get to be a girl, nothing more than a weary traveller who had gotten caught in a bad storm and needed to take refuge in a small town. Tonight, she had nothing to her name other than the destroyed dress in the next room and her confusing companion.
And that was more than enough.
Wrapping herself tightly in the cotton sheets, she brought her knees to her chest and shut her eyes, the never-ending patter of the rain outside lulling her into a peaceful sleep.
She wasn’t supposed to help him.
Even after everything, he still wasn’t good enough.
Notes:
Thank you for all the support from the first chapter!!
Chapter Text
Shinobu awakened late the next morning, the sunlight shining through the silk curtains making it impossible to fall back asleep. She stretched out her limbs languidly, waiting for her maid to come chirping in with the silver tea tray and the day’s schedule, but after waiting with her eyes closed for several minutes, she finally remembered where she was.
Her eyes fluttered open and sure enough, the curtains were linen, not silk, her blanket made of cotton, not fine wool. There weren’t any decorations on the ceiling or overflowing floral displays in the corner, no velvet slippers or satin nightgowns.
She breathed a sigh of relief. It was so refreshing to wake up and not know what she was going to do that day.
The only thing out of place in the little room, she noticed, was the sheathed sword at the end of the bed, delicately placed over a patched quilt and pillow.
Shinobu’s eyebrows knitted together. Her guard had never gone anywhere without his sword, the weapon practically an extra limb.
“Sir Tomioka?” she called, only to receive no answer.
Huh.
She was alone. It was the first time he’d ever left her completely alone.
She grinned to herself. It was the perfect opportunity to run off into the hills and never be found again. The window was small, but then again, so was she, so if she managed to open it just enough—
Her stomach roared.
She groaned, glaring down at the culprit. “We have the perfect chance to run away and you’re thinking about food? ”
It growled again in response.
Frowning, she tore the sheets away and got out of bed. Unfortunately, she knew too well that she wouldn’t be able to get far without food, especially since she hadn’t eaten since breakfast the day before. Putting on a pale purple dress that was folded next to Giyuu's sword, she made her way to the corridor with a jump in her step.
Unlike the night before, the hall was brightly lit, sunlight shining on the pastel green wallpaper. Small paintings of flowers enchanted the otherwise simple space, giving Shinobu the sense that she was in a homey cottage. None of the pictures were in heavy gilded frames like the ones in the castle, which relaxed her since it meant the overbearing stares of her ancestors finally wouldn’t be watching her, silently critiquing every move.
When the rich scent of fresh bread hit her nose, she quickened her pace, no longer caring about wallpapers or paintings as she raced downstairs.
She followed the smell and managed to reach what she assumed to be the dining room, only to find Tomioka already seated at the table, munching on a piece of jam-covered toast.
He nodded at her in acknowledgement.
She looked at him with an open mouth, offended by how shameless he was. “For someone who doesn’t speak much, you’re certainly bold!” she huffed, taking a seat in the chair next to him. “How dare you not wake me up. Not only did you not provide me with the necessary supplements, but you also abandoned your post! I could report you for this, Sir Tomioka. How did you know I wouldn’t escape while you were busy gorging on toast, hmm?”
He calmly wiped at his mouth. “You can’t get far without food.”
Her stomach rumbled again.
“Hmph. I hope you know that I won’t admit that you’re right, even if you are.”
She snatched a piece of bread off his plate.
“You shouldn’t call me that either,” he added. “Call me by my name while we’re here.”
“Giyuu?”
He nodded.
She shuddered. “That felt odd to say. I think I'll stick to Tomioka. Tomioka-san, so you can't say I'm never nice to you.” She ripped off a piece of her stolen toast and popped it into her mouth. “Does that mean you’ll be calling me by name too?”
He shrugged. “If you want.”
“Please do. I hate titles.”
He stared at her with a tilt of his head.
She sighed dramatically. “Go on, ask what you want. I can tell your mind is racing right now.”
“You’re an odd princess.”
She grinned. “Thanks, I try.”
He shook his head in disappointment, turning back to his toast with a frown. “I don’t understand you.”
“What isn’t there to understand? Do you have some sort of problem with me?”
Before he could reply, the woman from last night emerged from the kitchen with a fresh plate of warm bread, the sight of it making Shinobu’s mouth momentarily water. Still, she stole a glance at Giyuu. She would have to interrogate him later.
“Good morning!” the woman greeted cheerfully, setting the plate down in front of Shinobu. “Sorry about forgetting to introduce myself last night! My name's Mitsuri and it’s a pleasure to meet you!”
Shinobu arched an eyebrow at the amount of perkiness Mitsuri had so early on in the day. It reminded her a bit of…
Mitsuri sighed dreamily. “It’s so impressive. I admire how such a young couple was able to trek through a terrible storm and make it here to our quaint town. It’s so enchanting!”
Shinobu began choking on her toast, making Giyuu begin hitting her back in an effort to help her regurgitate it out. She swatted his hand away, then took a big gulp of her juice to relieve herself.
“We are not,” she paused to deal with her coughing fit, “a couple. At all!”
Mitsuri's face turned pink. "I'm so sorry! You just seem like you'd be such a lovely pair!"
Shinobu's nose scrunched up. "Him? Never. He's just my… my…"
"We're travelling together," Giyuu added, saving her. “Speaking of which, we should be going soon. We’re expected out west by the end of the day.”
“You need to go? Oh, dear.” Mitsuri began fidgeting with her fingers, nervously looking down at the yellow tablecloth. “That’s not exactly possible right now…You see, um, the storm last night destroyed the bridge. That’s our only connection to the mainland."
Shinobu’s knife clattered against her plate. Next to her, she noticed Giyuu stiffen.
“There’s no other way out?” Shinobu asked.
Mitsuri shook her head sadly. “No. It might take a few weeks till they can fix it.”
A few…weeks?
Excitement welled up in Shinobu’s chest at the prospect of needing to stay in the town for not just a night, but perhaps weeks. Her father would be furious, sure, but the ball would be delayed, which sounded absolutely marvellous.
“Isn’t there a boat we could take back?” Giyuu asked sternly, stirring her out of her daydream. She kicked his leg under the table, but he was unfazed.
Mitsuri shook her head again. “The lake is very odd. There are things under the water that pul you under when you try to swim there and even gets caught on the boats!” She shuddered. “We don’t even have boats here because of that.”
Giyuu sighed deeply and closed his eyes, clearly frustrated by their current predicament. Shinobu, on the other hand, was elated.
“It’s no problem! We’d be happy to stay here!” she said cheerfully, nudging Giyuu with her elbow. “Wouldn’t we?”
He leaned in close, his face incredibly close to hers in a way that almost made her blush. “You have a duty,” he whispered in her ear.
She turned her face towards him, her mouth close to his as she said, “No, I don’t.”
With a teasing giggle, she turned back to Mitsuri, who was watching them intently with ecstatic eyes.
“Would it be alright if we stayed here for the time being?” Shinobu asked, the sweetest smile she could muster bright on her face. “Unfortunately, we don’t have much money on us, but we can send payment once we’re back home.”
Mitsuri clapped her hands together in excitement. “I would be happy to look after you here! Normally, we can’t accept promises like that, but I’m sure I can make an exception for you two! Maybe I can get you to help around town for now!” She squealed. “This is going to be so much fun! You might even be able to stay for the festival!”
“That sounds lovely,” Shinobu replied happily despite not knowing what festival she was referring to.
Giyuu silently stood up from the table and left the dining room.
“Give me a moment,” Shinobu said before following his path, eventually finding him on the staircase. She climbed the steps until she reached him, tugging on his arm so he would face her.
“It’s very impolite to leave the table like that, you know. It’s even more impolite to storm off.”
When he finally faced her, it was with furrowed brows and a startling expression. His stare sent a sudden chill through her bones, his dark eyes resembling blocks of ice in how frigid they appeared.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, annoyance beginning to bubble up inside her. “None of this is my fault. I didn’t destroy the bridge.”
“You’re happy about it.”
“Of course I am! Besides, there’s nothing we can do about it anyway. We can’t just lift up the wood and put it back together just like that.” She crossed her arms and leaned against the railing. “My father will understand that much, so why are you getting so worked up about it?”
His eyes remained cold. “It’s my duty and unlike you, I care about it.”
The steadily seething rage inside of her suddenly boiled over. “You think I don’t care about my duty?”
“I know you don’t.”
A familiar giggle chimed through her mind. “I’m going to work extra hard so you don’t have to worry about a thing!” a young voice cheered.
A brief moment of vulnerability shuddered through her cloud of anger, making her grit her teeth to hold it at bay.
Shinobu moved up onto the next step to bring herself closer to his level. “You know nothing about me, Sir Tomioka. Nothing. ”
His head darted to the side. “You don’t know me either,” he said quietly.
Without sparing her another glance, he stepped past her and made his way to the door.
“Where are you going? I order you to tell me.”
He stopped, still not facing her. “I’m going to investigate.”
It was all he said before leaving the inn, the door snapping shut behind him.
She rolled her eyes and stomped upstairs.
Shinobu blew a stubborn lock of hair out of her eyes and reached for another blueberry.
He still wasn’t back.
She had been leaning against the inn’s porch for about half an hour now, appreciating its delicate, white beauty in the fading sunlight. Although several areas were chipped, it added to the charm of the place, calming her with the lack of artificial perfection the castle always maintained. It had a good view of the town square, allowing her to observe the dozens of villagers that were always doing something, all of them scurrying around to find tasks like honeybees obeying their queen. Most of them were busy cleaning up the fallen branches and clearing away the leaves that had fallen with the storm while others worked to supplement them. She found it all quite charming since she had never seen so many people work so cooperatively with one another before.
“Oh, are you admiring them too?” Mitsuri asked, suddenly appearing behind Shinobu with two glasses and a pitcher of lemonade. “I just love watching them work together, especially after a storm. Wow, and they’re working so fast too! It usually takes the entire day to clean everything up.”
Usually, Shinobu would have avoided maintaining a conversation by any means necessary, but after her argument with Giyuu and his sudden disappearance, she was open to distractions.
Mitsuri sighed happily. “They probably wanna get back to working on the festival as soon as possible!”
Ah, yes, the famous festival she'd mentioned during breakfast and the night before. “Must be a big deal.”
“Absolutely! It’s the most important event in town, we only have it every one hundred years.”
“Oh, wow,” Shinobu replied, blinking back her surprise. “What makes it so special?”
“I’m glad you ask! We praise the goddess of the moon here, so we believe that she’s reincarnated every century to reunite with her mortal lover. It’s so romantic!”
Shinobu raised an eyebrow. “You have a whole festival for a couple?”
“It’s a celebration!” Mitsuri replied with a grin. “We have a huge feast and there’s dancing, and romantic strolling, and singing… oh, it’s all so lovely! But the best part is the wedding ceremony—”
Shinobu groaned. She didn’t want to hear a thing about weddings, not when she was trying so hard to escape from one. “What, do they just pick a random woman and man to get married just to honour a goddess?”
Mitsuri giggled. “Well, it’s not random…”
If Shinobu had looked up, she would have seen Mitsuri’s cheeks grow as red as tomatoes as she nervously fidgeted with her skirt.
“B-by the way, what happened between you and your friend this morning?” Mitsuri asked, changing the subject.
“Oh. That.” Shinobu sighed. “It’s complicated. We’re two very different people with two very different ideals. It was never going to work.”
Mitsuri offered her a sympathetic smile. “I don’t know, it seems like you’re making things more complicated than they need to be.”
“They say you’re overemotional. That you’re always angry and it clouds your judgement.”
Shinobu bit the inside of her cheek.
“Shh, calm down, Shinobu,” she soothed, brushing a gentle hand through Shinobu’s hair. “Don’t let your emotions get the better of you. Think this through, okay?”
A breath caught in Shinobu’s throat and she hung her head down in shame. “He was right about me.”
“Hmm?” Mitsuri popped blueberries into her mouth.
“Everyone thinks I’m self-centred. That I don’t care about the things I have to do, about the duties I have and trust me, I have a lot of them.”
“Well, do you care?”
“Of course I do!” Shinobu sighed and put her head in her hands. “I’m just sick of it. I want to escape it all and I try, but…I know I have to do it. And I will, just not yet. I want to live a little first.”
A soft sigh escaped Mitsuri then. “People used to expect a lot from me too,” she confessed. “My family, mostly. I ran away from it too. That’s how I ended up here.”
Shinobu looked at Mitsuri, who had a pleased smile on her face. “You escaped?”
Mitsuri nodded, then leaned forward to whisper in Shinobu’s ear like a child telling a secret. “This town seems to attract people who wanna run away.”
A faint smile made it onto Shinobu’s face. “Still. I’ll have to go back someday. It’s important to a lot of people that I do. I can’t keep being selfish, especially with him. It isn’t fair to him. I just hope he isn’t doing anything stupid.”
Mitsuri giggled, patting Shinobu on the back. “If you were as selfish as you say you are, you wouldn’t be this worried about him and your fight. If you were that selfish, you wouldn’t care about where he went. You wouldn’t even think about going back to your duties.
Shinobu pouted and looked away. “Who said anything about being worried about him? I just… just don’t want things to be awkward when he gets back.”
If he gets back, the devil on her shoulder teased. Sure, he can’t get far, but can you blame him for wanting to keep his distance from the spoiled little princess?
“Hmm, are you sure there’s nothing going on between you and him?”
Shinobu’s brows knit together. “Ew. No.”
“Oh, come on!” Mitsuri insisted, bouncing. “He’s so attractive! You can’t tell me you’ve never thought about him that way before.”
“I haven’t!”
“Just imagine it: walking along the lake in the moonlight, hand in hand, then he cups your face and leans in and.. oh!”
"No, thank you." Shinobu headed towards the steps to escape Mitsuri’s clutches. “I’m going to look for him.”
Mitsuri waved goodbye. “It’s getting dark so be careful! Avoid the woods!”
Shinobu wanted to scoff. As if the woods stood any chance against her.
The sun had already set by the time Shinobu found herself back in the town square, light sweat coating her brow and still missing Giyuu.
She’d searched as far as she dared to go, unable to find him in any of the little shops that lined the cobblestone streets or between the stone cottages nearby, nor was he along the shore that stretched along the vast lake that kept them here. The only place she hadn’t checked were the woods, thinking it would be better to explore them in the day than at night.
Unlike the night before, the square was filled with signs of life, each building and storefront illuminating the street with bright paper lanterns and twinkling lights that reminded her of the town just outside the castle, which was known as a bustling hive of activity that never ceased. It was one of the few places back home that she truly enjoyed.
The majority of the people that were still out were gathered at the pub, evident by the boisterous laughter and excited shouts she heard coming from the area. Although she doubted Giyuu would be in there, she went closer to take a peek anyway.
When all she found were noisy men and women clinking their mugs together, she shook her head and laughed quietly to herself. As if Giyuu would ever willingly join a group like that. The mere thought of him drinking himself silly and drunkenly singing at the top of his lungs amused her, and she made it her silent mission to see him drunk someday.
If she could find him, that was.
Sighing resignedly, she turned to go back to the inn. She knew he wouldn’t dare leave her alone for much longer and she had grown tired.
What a turn of events— she’d been trying to escape him and be on her own for so long, and now that he had finally left her alone, she was out looking for him, waiting for him to return. It was horribly ironic. What had the world come to?
“Well, hello there, lil’ lady,” someone slurred behind her, pulling her from her thoughts.
She turned around and found herself looking up at a rather large man with bright red cheeks and a sickening smirk. His uneven gaze and unsteady feet were more than enough for her to piece together that he was drunk, that was if his voice hadn’t given that fact away already.
“Can I help you?” she asked, already taking a step backwards.
His grin grew and he took a step towards her. “Never seen you ‘round here before. Nice to see such a pretty face.”
The reeking smell of alcohol reached her nose, making her instinctively scrunch her face up. She supposed that creepy men existed everywhere, even in magical towns like this one.
The man’s arm shot out to grab her wrist, foiling any escape attempt before she could even plan one as he dragged her closer to him. She dug her feet into the ground and pulled against his grip to no avail. If she'd tugged any stronger, she risked twisting her own wrist. She reared her foot back—
A sword came between her and the man, the silver blade reflecting the yellow lanterns.
Shinobu stared wide-eyed at Giyuu, who glared daggers at the man. He said nothing, allowing the sword to do the speaking for him. When the man still didn’t let go, Giyuu pressed the blade downward, beginning to cut into the man’s arm and never once looking away, as though testing him to continue harassing her.
The man yelped and released Shinobu before scurrying off, clutching his arm in a way that would make one think he’d lost it and not simply gotten cut.
Giyuu nonchalantly sheathed his sword.
“Let’s go,” he said, walking in the direction of the inn.
Shinobu remained stunned behind him, a million thoughts running through her mind before she jogged to catch up with him.
“I could have saved myself,” she stated clearly.
“I know.”
They continued on in silence, the sound of the pub fading behind them. Only her footsteps could be heard against the cobblestone.
Taking a deep breath, she stopped and moved to stand in front of him, wrestling with her overwhelming pride.
With her stare fixed on the ground, she developed the strength to say, “I’m sorry, by the way. Not just for arguing with you earlier, but also for… everything, I suppose. Turns out, I’m exactly what people think I am: a spoiled, selfish princess who can’t even keep her own emotions in line. You don’t have to forgive me. It’s not an order.”
Only the chirping of distant crickets could be heard now.
She closed her eyes and accepted the truth. He wouldn’t forgive her and she couldn’t blame him. She had been terrible to him from the moment they’d met, cynical and angry and selfish.
“It’d still be nice if you said something…”
A hand gently patted her head.
“I forgive you.”
Her gaze flew up to meet him, fully prepared to thank him until all her thoughts halted to a stop. Her eyes went wide as she stared into his, a childlike wonder she hadn’t experienced in years suddenly settling over her.
They were blue.
His eyes were blue, not dark brown or black as she had led herself to believe up until now, but a strikingly deep blue— a blue darker than the depths of the east oceans as they crashed against rocky cliffs on the most beautiful of nights, a blue that the sapphires of Shinobu’s crown couldn’t hope to compare themselves to, a blue they would envy. She had only ever seen such a stunning blue once in her life, in the dark hydrangeas that grew in the forest near the castle, the ones that had always captivated her when she saw them from her bedroom window, comforting her on her loneliest of nights.
She never expected to find the shade anywhere else, much less in the depths of someone else’s eyes.
“Your eyes are blue,” she whispered, still entranced by their vivid colour. “I never noticed it before, but they’re blue.”
He made a noise of surprise, one lost in the night breeze that suddenly swept past them.
She gasped, suddenly realizing just how long she’d been staring at him. “I’m sorry, that was…” She cleared her throat. “Well, it’s getting late, so we better get back!”
This time, she marched in front of him, too embarrassed to meet his eyes again until they reached the inn.
On the way upstairs, Shinobu saw Mitsuri watching her from the dining room, a candle in her hand and a pleased smile on her face. She could practically hear the cheerful “I told you so!” that Mitsuri would be saying tomorrow.
Shinobu and Giyuu quietly got ready for bed and it was only when she was wrapped in her sheets, right about to fall asleep that she spoke again. She faced the outline of his body on the floor.
“Why don’t we have a temporary truce?” she suggested. “As long as we’re here, you’ll stop acting like a guard and I’ll stop acting like a princess. Instead, we’ll act like normal people. Like friends.”
He seemed to ponder the idea. “Okay,” he said calmly.
Shinobu smiled, unaware that for the first time in a long time, it had actually reached her eyes.
She heard Giyuu shift in his sleep before she finally fell into her own slumber, the emotions of the day finally taking their toll on her.
Her eyes are violet, like the sky during a sunset. A bright and vivid violet.
Notes:
Sorry about the delay between chapters, school has been taking its toll on me, sigh. I'll update as soon as I can! Thank you for reading!
(If you're wondering where all the romance is, don't worry, we'll get there ;D)
Chapter Text
To say that many things had gone awry on this trip would be an understatement.
First of all, she hadn’t even expected to be in this town in the first place. That in itself was a feat. She hadn’t expected their carriage to be stopped by thieves looking to rob them and kidnap her for some exorbitant ransom. She hadn’t expected the rainstorm to not only lead them here, but to also bar their escape, nor did she expect to apologize and make a truce with the guard who she had viewed as an inconvenience from the moment they'd met.
But what she definitely didn’t expect was to be hammering nails into wooden boards. Willingly.
She wiped at a bead of sweat that had formed on her brow, the sun’s rays beating down on her as she worked manually for the first time in her life. She bit the tip of her bottom lip, her mind intensely focused on the work in front of her.
It had all started when she’d woken up that morning, only to find Giyuu missing from their shared room. According to Mitsuri, he had woken up earlier and was quickly spotted by the town carpenter, who pulled him in to help with festival preparations as soon as Giyuu was done with breakfast.
“You should have seen him!” Mitsuri had said, loudly laughing as she recounted the story. “He looked like a lost puppy! He was so cute! ”
Shinobu had scoffed at the idea of Giyuu, of all people, looking cute. She couldn’t think of anything sillier than that.
She wished she could have seen it. Just to satiate her curiosity.
After a hearty breakfast, she and Mitsuri had made their way over to where the villagers were building the grand decorations and elaborate sets, all of them sweating buckets as they lugged around wood and tools, yet none of them complaining about it even once. Once Mitsuri had announced that she’d arrived with a basket of fresh pastries, they surrounded her like starved animals, though she only laughed and smiled as she passed them their muffins.
It was only then that Shinobu spotted Giyuu coming from the forest with bundles of freshly cut wood, a few other men trailing behind him. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, revealing taut, lightly scarred arms that caught Shinobu’s attention. She didn’t know why; after all, she’d already seen his arms when she cleaned his wound their first night here. She blamed the sun.
Upon seeing her, he’d tilted his head in her direction, clearly confused by her presence. She had simply pointed at Mitsuri with a raised eyebrow.
“Still,” he’d said, setting the bundles down on the ground. “Doesn’t seem like you.”
She’d scoffed, pretending to be offended. “And why not? I could be quite helpful here.”
He stared at her.
“What? Goodness, Tomioka-san,” she teased. “I could easily help build.”
She’d reached for one of the bundles, prepared to lift it with one hand, only to realize that she couldn’t. She’d tried again with both hands but still couldn’t pick the damn thing up. Finally, gritting her teeth, she had lifted it the tiniest bit off the ground before dropping it immediately.
A sharp pain ran near the base of her back. “Oh, lovely, did I pull something?” she whispered to herself.
Giyuu had shaken his head in disappointment and moved behind her, rubbing his hands across her back in an attempt to massage her.
“You should be more careful. Don’t strain yourself.”
Heat had raced to Shinobu’s face as his hands pushed and prodded at her back.
It was the sun. That was all.
She’d swatted his hands away and cleared her throat.
“Anyways, I may not be able to carry the wood to and fro, but I'm positive I can help with something else.” She’d put her hands on her hips. “I’m capable of that much.”
Which was how she’d ended up with a hammer in her hands and the bitter, metallic taste of nails in her mouth.
She found the task fairly calming, especially when she had particularly stubborn nails that needed extra pounding. Slamming the hammer harshly down on them was very therapeutic. It was certainly better than sewing until she poked her thumbs until they were numb.
A giggle interrupted her thoughts, and she looked up to find Mitsuri staring at her.
“You seem like you’re having a lot of fun with that! It’s so nice to see a girl working with the builders.”
Shinobu put down the hammer and wiped another bead of sweat from her forehead. “I’ve never done anything like this before, but it makes me feel useful. It’s better than just sitting at the inn all day.”
Mitsuri clapped in glee. “I’m glad you’ve found something that makes you happy! Though speaking of which…” Mitsuri leaned in with a knowing grin on her face. “You made up with him pretty quickly last night.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Oh, nothing, just that… well, I don’t know if you noticed, but you seemed pretty happy when you came back with him if I do say so myself.”
Shinobu narrowed her eyes at her. “What are you implying?”
“Hmm, I don’t know, maybe that there’s something there that you won’t admit to? Something like…,” Mitsuri gasped dramatically, “love? ”
Shinobu scoffed, laughing in disbelief. “Never. Ever.”
“If you say so!” Mitsuri replied in a sing-song voice, shrugging her shoulders and clearly not believing Shinobu for a second.
A tall figure caught Shinobu’s attention from the corner of her eye and sure enough, Giyuu was walking towards them, his forearms shining and tense as he carried more bundles of wood towards her. The sun reflected itself in his sapphire eyes, turning them into a dark shade of blue that made her think of a raging ocean.
She had always known him to be strong, but to see him unintentionally showing off just how strong was beginning to cloud her judgement and her mind. He could probably lift her with ease, as though she weighed no more than a child. She would probably kick him if he swung her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, but she wasn’t as opposed to the idea of him carrying her in his arms like a blushing bride—
“Why are you staring at me?” his voice asked coolly, shaking her out of her thoughts. Goodness, what had she been thinking?
“I’m not! Hmph, not all my thoughts are about you, you know,” she huffed, crossing her arms.
Unbeknownst to her, Mitsuri was trying to stifle a laugh with all her might.
“I’ll leave you two to it,” she said, beginning to take her leave. “I’m going to see if I can help out too! Have fun!”
Mitsuri waved and skipped off, leaving Shinobu alone with Giyuu and without a single doubt that this was Mitsuri’s plan all along.
“So what are you doing here? I thought they still needed you in the woods,” Shinobu asked, doing her best to ignore his well-defined physique. Had he always looked that way?
“I wanted to make sure you were safe.”
“Ah, I see. Well, I’m fine. Clearly,” she said nonchalantly. “A little warm, but fine.”
He nodded, then turned back towards the forest. “The sooner the festival is ready, the sooner they work on the bridge.”
“Is that why you’re helping?”
He nodded again.
Shinobu sighed but fought the urge to argue with him on it. It was useless, especially after their previous skirmish. There was no fighting it anymore. She would have to go back someday. Her fairytale-like adventure couldn't possibly last forever.
“I know what you think,” he said, “but we have to.”
“Don’t worry, Tomioka, I know. Doesn’t make it any easier.”
He seemed to get lost in his thoughts for a moment, his eyes staying focused on the ground in front of her. A slight breeze blew a lock of his hair over his eye, not that he seemed to notice.
Shinobu laughed in disbelief. How could someone as alert as him be so clueless sometimes? She reached over and brushed it away without thinking twice, at least until his eyes flicked back up and went wide.
She withdrew her hand as though his skin had shocked her, leaving them staring at each other in awkward silence.
“It was bothering me!” she said quickly, turning around and crossing her arms over her chest. “Goodness, Tomioka-san, you sure know how to make a big deal out of something so small!”
“But I didn’t—”
“Hush! It’s alright, I forgive you.”
Before he could argue against her again, a pained scream rang through the air.
She and Giyuu were quick to investigate, both of them running towards the other workers without even alerting the other as to their actions.
If someone is hurt, I have to help them. Even if I don’t know how I have to find the way, I have to help them no matter what...
A small crowd was gathered around Mitsuri, who sat on the ground clutching her hand with a fallen hammer next to her. The light that seemed to follow her everywhere was severely dimmed; even her hair seemed to have turned into a dull pink as it hung limply over her shoulders.
Shinobu rushed to her aid, paying no mind to the curious people around them.
“What happened?” Shinobu worried.
Giyuu was quick to her side, crouching down beside her.
“I-I was hammering in a few nails to help out when I accidentally hit my finger!” Mitsuri cried, showing Shinobu her left index finger. Sure enough, part of her finger was a dark purple and partially twisted at an odd angle.
“I’m going to need something cold for the swelling,” Shinobu ordered firmly, becoming ignorant of all other surroundings. She untied one of the ribbons from Mitsuri’s hair and absentmindedly handed it to Giyuu for the time being.
“Raise your hand,” Shinobu said, putting Mitsuri into place. “I need to put your finger back in place.”
“What? But won’t that hurt?” Mitsuri worried.
“It will. But we have to.”
One of the volunteers returned with a bucket of lake water, the coldest thing they could find on such short notice.
Shinobu then began leading Mitsuri through the painful process of freezing her finger until she could just barely feel it, then set it back into place while apologizing all the while. Once it was over, she tied it to Mitsuri’s other fingers with her hair ribbon and instructed her to avoid using it.
Mitsuri stared at her hand in amazement, holding it out in front of her. “That was so cool! You moved so quickly! You could be a doctor!”
Shinobu shook her head calmly and dusted herself off. “That was nothing. Anyone could have done that.”
“No way! You’re amazing!”
Shinobu shifted uncomfortably as some of the other volunteers praised her as well.
It really is nothing, she wanted to say. Anyone could have done it. I’m not special. It could have been anyone, not just me. Please don't praise me like this, not when I know I don't deserve it...
A large hand encased hers and pulled her away from the crowd, heading deeper into the forest and away from prying eyes. It wasn’t until Giyuu had let go of her that she realized that he had helped her in the first place.
“Thank you…” she mumbled, her eyes shifting away.
“You were good back there,” he said calmly.
Of course, he had to praise her for something so small too. “Ha ha, is that a compliment, Tomioka-san? You’re so sweet,” she said, doing her best to play it off and calm her nerves.
“I mean it.”
“I’ve no doubt you do, but please, don’t bother. I don’t need it. It really wasn’t anything special.”
“You had to know how to put her finger back. Where to put it.”
She only shrugged. “It isn’t anything a book can’t teach you.”
I don’t deserve anyone’s praise, least of all yours. At least he was actually skilled at what he did. After all, he'd needed to beat several experienced men just to get to her.
He gestured back towards the village with a nod of his head, a silent question if she wished to return. She nodded and fell in step beside him.
“Where did you learn that?” he asked as twigs crunched under their feet.
“I already told you, books and practice.”
“But why?”
The ache Shinobu was more than familiar with returned to her chest alongside the flurry of memories in her mind, memories of dark rooms with drawn curtains and hollowed cheeks and broken things she could never hope to fix, never hope to put back in place.
“So I could be useful for once,” she murmured, speaking more to herself than to him. “Maybe I’ll tell you someday. But not yet.”
She was surprised by her own words. After all, he didn’t need to know. At the end of the day, he was just her guard. That was all he was meant to be.
Still, she couldn’t ignore the odd twinge in her chest that ached to tell him. For some reason, she had the vain hope that he could understand her.
They carried on in silence, cicadas humming in the air around them and people’s voices growing louder as they neared the inn.
“What do you want to do tomorrow?” he asked, catching her off guard.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?”
He shrugged. “For fun.”
“Ha! I didn’t think you did fun!”
“You deserve it.”
“How sweet of you,” she said with a carefree roll of her eyes and excitement steadily bubbling up in her chest. “So I can choose anything? ”
He nodded.
She chuckled and began tapping her chin with her index finger. “Hmm, what to do…”
Shinobu’s feet beat upon the soft dirt floor, sending small clumps into the air as she whizzed through the forest, dodging trees and obstacles as though she knew its layout like the back of her hand.
The breeze that swept past her was far more refreshing than anything she’d ever known, the harshness of tree bark almost like a second skin as she brushed past old oaks and maples that had stood the test of time. It was as though the birds sang and the bees buzzed just for her.
She jumped over a fallen log, never pausing once to even assess the risk of tripping. She felt as invincible as any animal, even in woods as unfamiliar as these.
Since Giyuu had told her she could choose anything, she’d challenged him to a chase through the woods. Her body had been longing to run free again and he was the only only one that could ever keep up with her.
He had looked at her in confusion, staring as though she had grown another head while she had only shrugged and smiled evilly.
She loved the forest, loved the freedom it promised her as she ran through it with the wind in her hair. It had always been a comfort for her, ever since she was a little girl who had trouble sleeping. Whenever she just couldn’t drift off or had a particularly scary nightmare, she would go down to the woods near the castle and run around until she was too tired to continue, after which she would be led back to her room by a loving pair of hands and a sweet voice singing a gentle lullaby.
Shinobu’s steps suddenly faltered and a sturdy set of arms ensnared her, holding her in place as they pulled her back against a firm chest.
The forest, which had been blurred as she’d run through it, finally settled into focus as she fought to catch her breath, both her legs and lungs grateful for her capture. The body she was pressed against was also trying to do the same, his chest steadily rising and falling behind her.
Giyuu leaned his chin against the top of her head, his warm breath tickling her scalp. She could feel every movement of his as if it were her own.
She looked down at the arms that still encircled her waist, noticing too late that she still hadn’t let go of them, though she began to wonder when she had even grabbed them in the first place.
She also realized, with a jolt, that she had never seen his hands this closely before, had never noticed the light scars that danced across his skin or the calluses that had made their way onto his fingers.
They weren’t beautiful hands. They were damaged and hardened from years of discipline, fighting, and training. They weren’t the hands of a prince or noble, who had never used a sword for anything other than decoration or a friendly fencing match. They weren’t the hands of a scholar, who was accustomed to holding books all day long. They were the hands of a warrior, of a soldier, beaten and scarred, but stronger than any other. They were hands that could and would protect her until their owner was someday relieved of his duty.
She ran her fingers across his scars, not noticing the sudden intake of breath behind her as she did.
Her own hands were no longer perfect, the skin still healing from nervous picking and her nails still growing back from endless chewing. She had old scars from failed sewing attempts, wound stitching practice, and from brief brushes against thorny bushes in her youth. Though her hands were small, she didn’t see them as soft or delicate as others may have described them. To her, they were as tough as his were, albeit without all the damage his own had taken. Her hands were imperfect, just like his— just like her.
She turned in his arms, daring herself to look up into the endlessly blue eyes that were beginning to haunt her.
She could see his face more closely now, could see his dark lashes flutter as they brushed against his skin and the line beginning to develop between his eyebrows from far too much frowning. She could almost see herself reflected in his eyes and the soft, barely-there pink of his lips. Her gaze remained locked there, fighting against her better judgement.
“What do you want to do now?” he asked, still panting.
That’s a dangerous question with a dangerous answer.
No, what was she thinking? She didn’t even know what she meant by that.
She couldn’t help but notice his eyes flit downward for the briefest of moments before returning to hers.
“I don’t know,” she said truthfully. “I…”
She wasn’t someone who typically found themselves rendered speechless by anything, not when she loved talking; however, nothing she could possibly hope to muster now would be enough to express the millions of thoughts in her head. Even if there were, she couldn’t possibly tell him. Some things had to be kept close to one’s chest, after all.
His eyes bore into hers and she wanted nothing more than to fall deep into their oceanic depths, but if she did, if she allowed herself to spiral downward until there was nothing left of her, it would destroy her.
“Why don’t you… ah… teach me how to fight?”
She was grasping at straws now. She only prayed that he wouldn’t notice.
“Okay,” was all he said, pulling his arms away from her and leading her further into a clearing nearby.
Her body immediately missed his warmth, instinctively moving towards him in an effort to catch just a hint of it once more.
Although she was distracted by that sentiment, she couldn’t help but wonder if he was reluctant to pull away from her too.
Fighting with Giyuu, even if it was simply for practice, was easier said than done. He didn’t go easy on her, not for a single moment, and although he didn’t dare hurt her, he came rather close, his fist only mere centimetres away from her cheek.
When a slip-up on her part ended with her on the ground, she quickly dusted herself off and stood back up.
“We can stop if you’d like,” Giyuu said, panting.
“Why, intimidated by me already?” Shinobu replied, wiping at her forehead with the sleeve of her dress and acting as though he hadn't just defeated her. “I already told you, I don’t want to rely on you all the time.”
“It’s my job to look after you. You’re supposed to rely on me.”
“So what? Wouldn’t it be better if I could grab a sword and take down an enemy all by myself?”
She could almost feel the gleam in her eye as she grabbed a branch off the ground and pointed it at Giyuu’s neck.
“I think I’d make a fine swordswoman, don’t you think?”
He shook his head in defeat, though just when she believed he’d give up on teaching her, he wrenched the branch out of her hand and pointed it back at her.
“You could use some practice.”
His voice was nonchalant, but she couldn’t believe her ears.
“My, my, are you talking back? One impressive move and you turn cocky?” She giggled in amusement. “How cute.”
She pulled the branch back into her own hand and began dancing around Giyuu, waving it around like a magic wand instead of a sword. He tried snatching it from her, but where he was stronger, she knew she was ever-so-slightly quicker.
Light on her feet and poised from years of ballroom dancing and governesses correcting her posture, she dodged him with ease, bouncing around him like an excited bunny rabbit. It seemed as though she would actually beat him until he disappeared from her line of sight.
“Tomioka-san?” she called, looking around the luscious forest and between the tall pines. “Goodness, did you give up already? I never thought of you as a quitter!”
A strong hand grabbed the bottom of the branch, forcing her to spin around as it was wrenched from her grasp and pressed against her throat.
If it had been a real weapon, she would’ve been dead by now, but not even the supposed peril was enough to pull her attention away from him, not when he was this close to her. Their breaths mingled together and she finally realized just how much taller than her he was. She needed to crane her neck up just to look at him properly, the simple action making his eyes go the slightest bit wider.
His Adam’s Apple bobbed and Shinobu found her eyes momentarily drawn to it.
What am I feeling…?
Her gaze shifted back to his and a blush rose to her cheeks.
“You caught me,” she whispered. “So what now?”
He looked at her intensely, both of them staring at each other with bated breath, his blue eyes entirely fixed on her and nothing else.
It’s okay to fall. All you need is one, little push...
Notes:
Sorry for the shorter chapter, but it would have been waY too long if I'd combined it with the next one (which will hopefully come soon)! Thank you for reading!
Chapter 5: Say You Won't Let Go
Notes:
In honour of the actual blue moon tonight, here's the next chapter a little earlier!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“Look, there she is!”
A young shout shattered the moment, freeing Shinobu from the haze that had claimed her mind. She broke away from Giyuu as though he’d shocked her, doing her absolute best to compose herself, both for his sake as well as her own.
Clearing her throat, she turned to their intruders.
A small group of young children stared up at her with wide eyes, looking surprised by her presence but unfazed by the rather… compromising position they’d found her in.
She was happy to finally be taller than someone, even if it was children.
“Hello there. Were you looking for me?” she asked kindly, kneeling to their level. As much as looking down at someone filled her with joy, it made her slightly uncomfortable.
“Yup!” one of them, a little girl with orange pigtails, said. “Miss Mitsuri told us to find you!”
“Mitsuri?”
“She said you were a good doctor,” said another child, this time a young boy no older than eleven with a mop of jet black hair that curled around his ears like a spring lamb. “Can you help me?”
“Oh, I’m not a doctor—”
“She is,” Giyuu said, approaching her from behind. “What do you need her for?”
Her head whipped around to glare at him. “You—”
You’re quiet all the time, yet you pick now to say something?
“My little sister is super sick…” the boy said, fidgeting with his hands. “Can you help her?”
His light blue eyes were glossy with unreleased tears as he looked up at Shinobu with all the hope he seemed to have left.
The doctor faced her grimly, his eyes not daring to meet hers. His diagnosis was obvious, even without words. His shame, his hopelessness, his powerlessness— all of it was visible in the deep shadows under his eyes and the pale shade of his cheeks.
Shinobu’s heart climbed to her throat, taking refuge there as despair washed over her.
There was nothing she could do. Now, it was only a matter of time.
“I… I don’t know if I’ll be able to help… I’m not qualified enough for that—”
She’d only learned from books and although she’d read dozens of them, nothing could prepare her for an illness, a real, deadly illness without a cure, just like before.
Giyuu’s hand descended on her shoulder. He knelt behind her, leaning to whisper in her ear.
“You can do it.”
“Come on, Shinobu!” she cheerfully encouraged. “If anyone can help me, it’s you! You’re smarter than anyone I know, after all!”
Shinobu’s hands began shaking, forcing her to clench them into fists to stop them.
The little boy tugged on her sleeve. “Please, help me! You’re the only one who can!”
Shinobu cleared her throat and wiped at her eye with the back of her hand. “Isn’t there a village doctor you can go to?”
The boy shook his head.
“He was out of town before the storm,” the little girl explained. “He can’t get back till they fix the bridge.”
“I can take care of a broken finger or wound, but an illness is an entirely different matter,” she hurriedly explained, though she was unsure of whom her words were directed to, the boy or herself.
“Can you please try? Please? ” the boy begged.
Giyuu squeezed her shoulder, summoning her gaze onto him. He nodded and although he didn’t speak, Shinobu thought she could see thousands of unsaid words in the depths of his eyes, which appeared endlessly clear to her— a calm ocean at low-tide, comforting in its simplicity.
She could almost feel the waves rolling over her, the water washing over her tired limbs and exhausted mind and attempting to restore her.
She remembered a time when she was constantly darting around the castle, begging any and every scholar or professional in her path to help her even if they weren’t qualified to practice medicine. She was more than willing to take her chances and risk anything if it meant saving her.
Shinobu looked at the boy again and, biting the inside of her cheek, nodded.
“Okay. I’ll try.”
The children cheered and grabbed her and Giyuu’s arms, quickly leading them out of the forest and back to the town.
Shinobu could feel her heart racing the entire way there, Giyuu’s hand in hers the only thing keeping her grounded in reality. She didn’t know why she was so nervous— after all, this was what she had been preparing for all this time, wasn’t it? This was why she’d read and read and read, often well into the night; it was to save someone someday, someone who was too weak to save themselves.
It was to make sure no one else died in her arms.
They soon reached a little cottage on the edge of the town, small wisps of smoke billowing from a tiny chimney and a log with an axe stuck into it just outside.
“Papa is busy working all the time,” the boy said when he caught her staring at the axe. “Mama isn’t around anymore.”
The interior of the cottage wasn’t lit aside from the sunlight coming from outside and the fire burning steadily in the hearth, an odd sight in the summer. Still, if the girl was as sick as the boy claimed, there was no doubt she’d be experiencing chills from a fever.
As they ventured further inside, Shinobu finally caught sight of a little girl buried under blankets in a tiny bed, her small body breathing heavily and her dark hair stuck to her forehead. Her eyes were closed.
Shinobu sat on the edge of the bed and set a hand on her forehead, almost pulling away once she felt the girl’s burning temperature.
The movement made the girl stir and she slowly blinked herself awake, staring at Shinobu with glassy eyes.
Shinobu did her best to smile softly at her, ignoring the tugging at her heart being caused by the poor girl’s vulnerability.
“Hello there. Your brother sent me here to see you,” she whispered. “Can you tell me where it hurts?”
The little girl pointed at her throat, then coughed into the blanket.
“Can you let me see?”
She obediently opened her mouth as widely as she could, bottom lip quivering. Shinobu did her best to look at the girl’s throat and quickly noticed white patches along the pink walls. The sight was familiar to her after having seen it in her books and she breathed a sigh of relief. She never thought she would be so happy to see a throat infection.
She helped the girl close her mouth again, then turned to the little boy.
“She’ll be okay,” Shinobu said, smoothing the girl’s hair away from her face. “It isn’t anything serious, but you can get sick as well if you aren’t careful.”
The boy nodded solemnly. “What do I do?”
“Hmm… do you know how to warm water and make tea?”
The boy nodded eagerly.
Shinobu smiled. “Good. She’ll need plenty of it. If you can find some ginger, it will be even better. If the taste is too bitter for her, you can add a teaspoon of sugar, but no more than that, okay?”
The boy’s eyes widened in glee. “That’s it?”
“That and plenty of rest. It may take a few days, maybe even a week or two, but she’ll be okay.”
The boy ran to her and wrapped his small arms around her waist, surprising her with a sudden hug. She almost fell backwards onto the girl but managed to rein herself in.
The little girl giggled a bit behind her.
After the boy let go of her, Shinobu stood up to leave, only to feel a tiny grip on her wrist summoning her back to the bed.
“Mama?” the girl whispered, appearing slightly more awake as she stared at Shinobu.
“Oh! No, I’m not your mother, I’m sorry.”
“But you look like mama. And he looks like papa!”
The little girl excitedly pointed at Giyuu, who stood a few feet away from the group.
The boy took his sister’s hand and set it back on her chest, shaking his head to refute her statements.
“That’s not them,” he whispered to her repeatedly. “That’s not mama and papa.” He turned back to Shinobu pleadingly. “Sorry about that.”
She suddenly realized that with his dark hair and sky blue eyes that he almost looked like he could be related to Giyuu somehow, either by being a younger brother or, if Giyuu was a few years older, his son. The same fact applied to his sister, who shared the same features.
I wonder what my kids would look like?
Her eyebrows scrunched together at the thought. She had never thought about such things before. Marriage was out of the question for her now and therefore, so were children, so why was she suddenly pondering the possibility?
She looked at Giyuu, whose eyes were firmly fixed on the hearth.
“It’s okay,” she quickly said before getting to her feet. “We better get going now. I hope your sister gets well soon! If you need me, you can find me at the inn.”
“Okay, thank you!” the boy said, waving goodbye.
Shinobu marched out of the house with Giyuu tailing her, not stopping until she reached the familiar, comforting porch of the inn.
“Looks like we have kids now!” she said teasingly, acting as nonchalantly as she could manage. “We haven’t even shared a kiss, yet we already have two loving children!”
He made a noise of surprise and she had the sudden urge to die in a hole.
What. Was. She. Saying? Where did that even come from?
“Oh, dear, Tomioka-san, did I fluster you with just a simple joke?” she asked, turning back towards the inn to conceal her own set of pink cheeks. She knew she was the flustered one, but she would rather die than admit it.
“Just took me by surprise,” he said.
She wished she could have seen the look on his face, but it would mean divulging the one on hers. It wasn’t a risk she was willing to take.
Before she could figure out what to do, a flurry of pink burst through the door.
“Oh, you’re both here!” Mitsuri cried gleefully. “I was just about to head to the cottage to check on you! How did it go with the kids? I hope you don’t mind that I told them about you, I was just in awe of how quickly you fixed my finger that I thought you’d be perfect for the job!”
Shinobu smiled in a way that she knew didn’t quite reach her eyes, still recovering from everything that had happened so far. “It was no trouble. The little girl will be okay.”
“I knew it!” Mitsuri said, wrapping Shinobu up in a big hug that left her breathless. “I just knew you could help them! You’re so amazing, so there was no doubt! We have to celebrate! You deserve it after all your hard work, Doctor Shinobu!”
“That isn’t necessary, don’t worry—”
“Nonsense! C’mon, it’s getting late, let’s go to the tavern! I’ll lead the way!”
Giyuu shook his head. “I’m going to rest.”
“Oh, you don’t wanna do that. Let’s go have some fun! You wanna go, don’t you, Shinobu?”
Mitsuri asked, winking at her in an incredibly unsubtle way.
Shinobu’s ears perked up at the word ‘fun.’ Hmm. Maybe it could be fun after all, especially after the day she’d just had. People typically used alcohol to unwind, didn’t they? It didn’t sound like such a bad idea…
She wanted to unwind, wanted to forget everything that had plagued her today from memories of the past to her strange thoughts about Giyuu.
“I do,” she stated, looking over at Giyuu to see his reaction. He only shook his head again, making Shinobu roll her eyes.
Good luck convincing that one, Mitsuri.
“So now you have to go!” Mitsuri insisted. “After all, who’s gonna look after her if you don’t?”
“Fine.”
Oh. It actually worked.
“Can’t even let me go off to a tavern on my own? You’re so protective, Tomioka-san.”
Shinobu stared at the mug in awe as the froth spilt onto the counter. It certainly wasn’t the first time she had ever seen beer— the tavern near the castle was always well-lit and boasted a large window that didn’t allow anyone to sneak in undetected— but it had never been offered to her. Ever. The most alcohol she had ever been allowed to have was one, maybe two glasses of celebratory champagne at balls, all while under the watchful eye of her family and the guards.
So needless to say, the mug of overflowing beer was rather tempting.
She pulled the mug towards her, then with both hands, lifted it to her mouth for a drink.
The harsh liquid spilt down her throat and she nearly spit it out after nearly gagging at the taste. It was so metallic, reminding her of the taste of blood instead of something pleasant. People actually enjoyed this sort of thing?
Her face scrunched up, making the bartender roar with laughter. "You get used to it!"
Shinobu wiped at her mouth. She looked around the bar, its many patrons downing the mugs and asking for more as if it were nothing. Was there something she was missing?
“Another one,” she ordered.
Giyuu eyed her wearily, and even Mitsuri raised an eyebrow in Shinobu’s direction. “Are you sure?”
Shinobu nodded and held out her mug for a refill. She could do this. She would do this, even if she hated it, just to know what it felt like, just to spite her father and all the other pretentious people that tried raising her.
About three and a half mugs later, however, she would come to regret her decision.
Giyuu was silently contemplating the counter, ignoring his drink and the ruckus, when someone plopped into the stool beside him.
“Hi, there!”
Mitsuri smiled sweetly at him. She had already downed a few drinks but she still seemed relatively sober, unlike Shinobu who was laughing somewhere behind him.
Although he had eyed her carefully when she ordered a second drink, he didn’t want to get in her way. He wanted her to have fun today and as long as she was safe, it was fine by him.
“You two seem close,” Mitsuri said, gesturing towards Shinobu with her head.
Giyuu nodded.
“Have you known each other long?”
“Only a few months.”
“Oh. Huh. Interesting. So… do you like her?”
“Yes. She’s a good friend.”
Mitsuri rolled her eyes and nudged her stool closer. “You know that’s not what I mean.”
He stayed quiet.
“C’mon, humour me! Do you think she’s pretty?”
He thought of their first day together, when he’d needed to stand guard as she was fitted for gowns, each one only slightly different from the other. She’d almost fit his idea of a princess to a tee that day, dressed in dozens of poofy skirts in a multitude of colours. The only thing that set her apart was her hair, which sat as a wet and tangled mess on top of her head after their tumble in the garden pond.
He thought of the days after, when she was dressed properly with her hair done up in dozens of pins and her entire body covered in expensive fabric. With heels clicking on the floor and a blinding diadem on, she truly looked like a princess.
He’d only accepted it blindly, simply following behind her without thinking much about her as anything more than his duty.
Then there was the day of the storm, right after their fight with the thieves. They’d just run through the forest and stopped for a break by a stream, their nerves shot and their legs exhausted. Her face had been covered in dark patches of grime and her hair was all over the place, the loose strands almost framing her face like a halo. Her red dress was in tatters around her, but her face held the widest, most genuine smile he’d ever seen on her. It had been a stunning sight after weeks of her pouting and frowning, yelling at her father for forcing away her freedom.
Then the storm had come and she had looked like a drowned animal, but even then she had spun around happily, enjoying the rain. That day had been the first time he’d ever looked past her princess identity and saw her as the girl she was— crazy and flawed, but happy in her madness.
Then earlier today as she had sprung into the forest, no longer dressed in the stuffy gowns that didn’t suit her, but in simple clothing, clothing he’d grown up seeing and wearing in his village. She had run into the forest with all the joy of a child on her face, a new fire he’d once thought burned out shining brightly in her eyes. Even when he’d caught her, that fire didn’t disappear.
Instead, it only seemed to burn brighter, turning her violet eyes into the vibrant sunsets they resembled. That’s what she was, he’d finally realized earlier— not a princess, not a girl, but a wildfire.
“Sometimes,” he finally answered, hoping Mitsuri wouldn’t somehow read his thoughts.
“Let me guess, you don’t see her that way,” she said, lowering her voice to sound like him.
That’s not an option.
“No.”
Mitsuri giggled and moved forward, leaning on her good hand. “You two are so stubborn .”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“I saw you when you came back from helping the kids. The way you looked at her then, well, let’s just say I haven’t seen many friends look at each other like that. Care to explain?”
Not really.
He’d seen a new side to her earlier that day, one entirely different from the girl he’d known up until then. Although she’d been afraid to treat the little girl, there was no doubt in her eyes once she’d seen her. She’d known exactly what to do, had understood the girl’s symptoms and found the cause so quickly that Giyuu was taken aback. He knew that to her, it likely wasn’t a big deal, but he knew that it could mean life or death to someone else, like the girl’s brother. After all, Giyuu had grown up in a village similar to this one with only one doctor, if they were lucky, who was constantly busy. Giyuu had no clue how to treat someone, but she did.
“There was nothing,” he lied.
Mitsuri laughed quietly and drank from her mug. “Whatever you say. Maybe you can fool her and even yourself, but you can’t fool me. Let’s just say,” she leaned in to whisper in his ear, “you’re not very good at hiding it.”
Giyuu looked away.
He wasn’t entirely convinced Mitsuri couldn’t figure out everything he was thinking. In fact, maybe she already had.
Shinobu looked over at the bar and saw a pink cloud next to a black storm cloud. It caught her attention because they were very, very close together, and the pink cloud was very, very pink.
Oh. Those weren’t clouds. That was Mitsuri and Giyuu.
Mitsuri and Giyuu…?
Shinobu squinted at them, her eyes going wide when she realized that only were they close to each other, but Mitsuri was whispering something in his ear.
Shinobu gasped and almost marched straight to them, only for a large hand to settle on her shoulder and pull her away.
“Don’t worry about her, she won’t steal him from you,” a tall man with white hair said to her. He reminded her of a tree. One with white leaves.
“She will! She’s pretty enough to do it!”
The man laughed loudly. “Don’t you know? She’s already got, someone!”
Still...
Shinobu smacked her cheeks in an effort to stop the room from moving, but it refused to listen to her and kept spinning.
“Stoooppp,” she slurred, raising her hand for good measure. “Stop! I order you to stop! Don’t you know who I am?”
To prove her point, she lifted her skirt and stood on the table, faintly hearing people cheering around her. She put her hands on her hips and stood up as straight as she could, commanding the room with her irresistible air of authority and undeniably natural leadership, leaving all those around her in awe.
(Or so she thought— in reality, everyone was staring at her because she was, after all, shouting on top of a table.)
“I am the princess of this great and lovely land and you will listen to me!” She stomped her foot. “I command you to stop spinning!”
It didn’t.
“Don’t you know that I could have you thrown in the dungeons for this?” she yelled, shaking her fist at the room. “O-or I could have you beheaded! I could execute you! Because I! Am! Your! Princess!”
She must have fallen over because she now had a very good view of the floor, or so she had thought until she felt something lumpy under her body. She also realized that she could freely move her legs, so she swung them back and forth, giggling to herself.
Suddenly the warmth of the bar was completely gone and replaced by the nightly chill outside. At least the room wasn’t spinning anymore.
She was also now beginning to realize that the lumpy thing under her was actually a shoulder and that someone was carrying her.
“Where are we gooooing?” she whined. “And who are you?”
“We’re going back to the inn,” a cool voice replied. Oh. That was probably Giyuu. “You’ll be safe there.”
“I was safe in the bar!”
“Not for long. You announced your title to everyone in there.”
“Hmph. They should just feel honoured that they were in the presence of Princess Shinobu of—”
He lightly tugged on her hair.
“What was that for?” she cried, rubbing her head.
“I couldn’t think of another way to keep you quiet.”
“You could’ve just told me to shut up!” She buried her face into his back, sighing in annoyance. “You know, this is nice and all, but can I get a piggyback ride instead?”
His step faltered. He must have almost tripped or something. It would probably be bad if he dropped her.
“Can I?” she asked again. “Please? Pretty please? You’re strong enough to do it, I know you are!”
He set her down with a sigh and when her legs momentarily wobbled, he turned around and bent over.
She clapped her hands in glee. “Yay! Thank you!”
She jumped onto his back and squeezed her legs around his waist. She pressed her face into his shoulder and sighed happily.
“You really are strong. And warm. So very warm.”
His shoulders shook for a moment and she wondered if he’d laughed at her. Pity. She would have liked to hear that sound.
She kept her face squished against his body the entire way back, groaning when he finally set her down so she could get dressed for bed.
He pulled the covers up to her chin and was about to turn away when she grabbed his hand.
“You’re always so protective of me,” she said, the drowsiness finally starting to get to her. “So so protective and strong and brave…” Her eyes travelled up to his, drinking them in. “Handsome too.”
A sound of surprise left Giyuu’s throat.
“Thank you, princess,” he replied calmly.
She sighed and her fingers slipped away from his hand. “I hope you stop calling me that someday.”
She looked up at him with her best pleading look, hoping that it would work on him the way it used to work on some of the maids when she was younger. “Can you call me by my name? Just once?”
Giyuu stared at her in wonder, not that she could see it as she fought against sleep.
“You need to sleep.”
She grumbled but gave it up. She was far too tired to argue with him.
It was only when she had finally succumbed to sleep that she heard a very faint, “Sweet dreams, Shinobu,” from the other side of the room.
I must be dreaming, she thought before completely falling asleep.
The sound of laboured breathing hit his ears, pulling him out of his deep sleep. His arm shot out of the blanket to reach for his nearby sword, eyes not even open yet when he realized where the sound was coming from.
Shinobu was curled up in bed, her sleeping face turned in his direction and half-hidden in her blanket as her body shook. She panted for breath as though she had just run for miles without stopping, clutching the sheets against her body.
“Princess?” he called, ready to shake her awake if he needed to.
She mumbled something he couldn’t quite understand, something that sounded vaguely like a name, as small tears began trickling down her cheeks.
He was about to get up when she cried out something else, something he definitely recognized.
“Giyuu!”
Notes:
Thank you for reading!
Chapter Text
Her small feet tapped against the cold marble floor, her skin completely bare and growing increasingly numb from the freezing stone. The crimson red skirt of her dress dragged behind her like chains, hindering every step she tried making and stopping her from breaking out into a run.
In the distance, a tall figure dressed in vibrant lavender walked at a slow pace, yet no matter how hard Shinobu ran, she couldn’t catch up.
The figure reached the end of the hall and opened a set of towering white doors. A sudden onslaught of wind burst through them, scattering the figure’s dark locks around her. Without looking back for even a moment, she stepped through the doors and disappeared.
Shinobu called the figure’s name before the floor broke out from under her, cold marble morphing into a roaring ocean with wild waves. The sky above her was endlessly black, not a single ray of light breaking through the menacing storm clouds. All she could hear were the ocean waves shouting at her, drenching her from head to toe.
A powerful wave fell over her and rapidly filled her lungs with water, forcing her to choke down her cries for help as she was pulled under.
As she sunk deeper and deeper into the dark soulless ocean, a bright hue burst against her closed eyes— a stunning royal blue that seemed to be summoning her, urging her to seek safety.
With her last bit of strength, she shot her hand out from under the waves.
A warm hand latched onto hers, pulling her out of her nightmare.
It wasn’t a hand she’d known for long, but she recognized it, felt the faint scars and calluses underneath her fingertips as though they were imprinted on her skin instead of his. She knew it was him and she knew that he, and only he, could save her if she plunged too deeply into the abyss.
She faintly heard herself saying his name, calling for him over and over as though those two syllables were a mantra that kept her breathing, that kept her alive.
His scent surrounded her, reminding her of the tranquil forest that had never failed to comfort her and had guarded all her secrets up until now, hiding them deep within the branches of the tallest trees. Yet while the forest had never failed to make her feel free, he was the only one who made her feel safe and protected in a way she hadn’t known for such a long time.
She wrapped her arms around him, ignoring the tiny part of her mind that fought against it, lest he pull away from her.
She knew he wouldn’t push her away. That was how much she trusted him.
She pulled him close, clutching the soft cotton of his nightshirt with white knuckles like a ship desperately searching for its safe harbour.
“Please don’t leave me, I don’t want to be alone, not anymore, never again!” she pleaded, the words leaving her mouth before they could even register in her mind.
He said nothing, but his soft breath tickling her ear and his sturdy arms around her frail form were more than enough to assure her that he wouldn’t be going anywhere.
Yet still…
Her right hand released him and moved back, ensnaring his left wrist and searching for his pulse point, the undeniable sign of life, even more so than his chest beneath her.
When she found it, her shoulders relaxed and she slumped forward, letting him catch her.
He was alive. That was all that mattered.
“Giyuu,” she whispered again, nuzzling her face into his shoulder as he rubbed soothing circles on her back.
“I’m here,” he whispered. “I’m here.”
“Will you always be here?” she asked, her voice betraying the anguish of her heart as it shook.
She thought the faint sounds of his breathing would be his only reply until he finally spoke.
“As long as you need me.”
“Promise?”
He nodded and tightened his hold around her. A silent promise in the purest form.
She didn’t know how long she stayed there, pressed against his shoulder in the dark, nor did she care. Although she was happy when the sweet release of sleep finally arrived, she couldn’t help but want to stay against him for just a little longer.
The sudden scent of wood hit her nose, the bitter smell making her face scrunch up. Groaning, she pushed her face further into her pillow, only to be hit by a throbbing pain in her temples.
“Awake?” Giyuu asked from somewhere behind her. She hoped that the source of that wooden smell wasn’t meant for her.
“No,” she said, wishing it were true. “Why does my head hurt so much?”
“You don’t remember last night?”
“I remember drinking, but I—ow! Don't remember anything after that.”
Shinobu winced at the pounding in her head, burying her hand in her hair as though she could use sheer will to make it go away.
He helped her sit up and handed her a cup of tea he’d left on the nightstand, the steam steadily rising from it warming her chin. Not waiting for her to take it on her own, he brought the cup to her lips and helped her drink.
Ginseng. Ideal for warding against the symptoms brought on by too much alcohol consumption. It was the reason so many of the same patrons from the bar near the castle stumbled into the tea house each morning, desperately seeking relief from the same kind of headache she was currently experiencing.
“I’m strong enough to hold the cup, you know,” she said with as much amusement as she could muster.
He quietly handed her the cup, which she drained despite not being a fan of the taste.
She peered over him from the rim of the cup, her eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Not that I’m ungrateful, but this begs the question, Tomioka-san. How do you know the right tea to treat alcoholic symptoms? Do you have some pastimes I’m not yet aware of?”
He scoffed and shook his head. “Nothing like that.”
“Oh? You mean you don’t sneak out and drink yourself silly on your days off?” She giggled at the thought of him stumbling around town drunk out of his mind and falling into a lake somewhere. “Pity, it sounds like fun.”
He made an amused sound that was almost a laugh. “I don’t. I used to prepare it for someone else sometimes.”
Someone else?
She wondered just who that someone could be. She wasn’t even aware of him having anyone else in his life, but then again, she’d never asked him, had she?
“I wasn’t aware that you knew anyone, or spoke to anyone other than me. Do you lead a secret double life I’m not aware of?”
There was no amused sound this time. Instead, his eyes turned to the floor, gaze turning serious all of a sudden. “No. There isn’t anyone anymore.”
A heavy weight settled over her heart, dragging down her playful mood as she noticed his eyes grow distant, the ocean within them millions of miles away as he seemed to get lost in his thoughts.
It was a look she knew a little too well. Not with him— he had always been careful to never let his guard down like this, never in front of her anyway. No, it was a look she recognized from accidental glances at the mirror where her downcast expression reflected itself at her in the same manner. For the first time since meeting him, she began to wonder if he was just as lost as she was.
If he was, what painful irony their relationship was: two ships lost in the night with no hope of salvation, no chance of finding safe harbour. For his sake, she hoped he wasn’t anything like her.
It wasn’t fun being lonely all the time.
Shinobu all but stared holes into Giyuu’s head, her paintbrush and paint can left ignored on the ground next to her. He had yet to notice her, his own eyes focused on the wooden board he was intently painting a light shade of blue.
She wondered just what went through his head at a time like this, not only because of the sad turn their morning took but also because of the solemn, yet distant look on his face now. He either looked as though he was thinking of past traumas or of nothing at all.
“Why are you staring at me?” he asked, his calm voice removing her from her own thoughts.
Instead of looking away, she only narrowed her eyes even more. “Just thinking. What goes on in that head of yours, Tomioka-san? Why do you always look so pensive?”
He shrugged. “So do you.”
“Well, yes, but you have a good idea of what goes on in my mind. Why I’m practically an open book!”
He shook his head, his hands never stopping their task. “Not really. It’s easy to know how you feel. Not easy to know what you think.”
She scoffed. “Really? I thought you’d know my mind better than anyone at this point. Feels like we’ve known each other for decades.”
“You’re a mystery most of the time. I don’t think you know your mind that well either.”
Something in her sank at those words. How could she not know her mind? It was hers, after all! She’d always let herself think freely without any repercussions, never putting a barrier between herself and her true thoughts.
Oh, is that so?
Her mind conjured up the image of her and Giyuu in the forest, seconds after he’d caught her. His arms had been so strong and sturdy as they’d held her up, locking her gaze onto the intense heat of his blue eyes as her body lit up in flames. She’d been only a breath away from him then, a single movement away from doing… heavens only knew what.
Fighting the heat of her cheeks, she grabbed the paint can in an effort to distract herself.
“I don’t know what you’re referring to, Tomioka. Can you help me open this can?”
He silently obeyed her order, revealing another pot of the same light blue paint.
“Why don’t we talk about you instead, hmm?” she said as she began working, painting clean, blue streaks down the board. “You know plenty about me, but what do I really know about you? You could be an undercover assassin for all I know!”
He cracked a faint smile. “I would be a bad one then.”
She giggled. “You’d be a terrible one! After all, you’ve had plenty of opportunities and here I am! So, tell me, where do you come from?”
He thought to himself for a moment, likely wondering if he should tell her at all, knowing him.
“A small village. Up north.”
Shinobu couldn’t hold back a smile. She couldn’t believe he’d actually answered her for once. She considered it progress.
“Do you ever miss it? Your home?”
He dipped his brush back into his can, painting quietly. She briefly wondered if she’d gone too far, then realized that she’d only asked a simple question.
“No. Not anymore,” he said softly before she could say his name.
“But it was your home.”
He shook his head. “Not for a long time.”
Well. She knew what that was like.
She recalled the stiff cold walls of the castle, the only home she’d ever known. Everything was such a dull grey— even the tapestries and ornate paintings were such drab colours, all the life and vitality they once held completely drained dry. The colour had disappeared from the castle that day, along with all the warmth it once held. Even the fires in the hearth seemed unbearably cold at times.
With a jolt, she realized that her own home didn’t feel much like one either. She’d known it all along, yet she’d never put it to words.
That’s why she ran from it, moving at top speed to leave it behind her. It was unbearable to live in a place that you were meant to call home, only for it to feel like a prison instead.
She looked at Giyuu, completely mesmerized. It was as though his presence and the few words he chose to say every so often answered all her unspoken questions, helping her realize the depths of her own mind.
Maybe I don’t understand my mind, Tomioka-san. Maybe you were right about something for once after all. Maybe my mind is a vast labyrinth that I don’t know my way out of. Maybe I’m trapped. Maybe I don’t know what I really think or how I really feel.
...Maybe you can help me find out.
In her daze, she’d picked up her brush and continued painting, only to stop when she realized the surface was oddly soft.
Looking down, she found Giyuu’s hand underneath her brush, a thick strip of light blue on his skin.
“The colour suits you, Tomioka-san,” she giggled, teasing him instead of apologizing. “It matches your eyes.”
Instead of replying, he brushed an even thicker line along her wrist in retaliation.
“Oh? You’re fighting back, are you? That isn’t fair, you painted way more on me!”
He shrugged, an oddly playful glint in his eye that surprised her.
Grinning to herself, she flicked a blob of paint at him, her smile widening when it landed right on his arm.
He looked at her like a man betrayed, then did the same thing to her, the paint landing on her shirt.
“Oh, you’ve started it now!”
Globs of paint began flying between them, the light blue streaks blurrily flying through the air and intermingling with the sound of her shouts and laughter. At one point, a rowdy blob ended up in her hair, forcing her to retaliate by painting a large spot right on his nose. By the end of it, they were completely covered in paint, their cans lying forgotten on the ground. The boards they were supposed to paint were covered in splotches from their battle.
She took in his appearance, his cheeks coated in spots of blue.
She burst out laughing, her belly beginning to ache. “You look so silly!”
He cracked a small smile as he looked her up and down. “So do you.”
Her eyes widened, her heart starting to beat just a little faster. So he was capable of smiling! She didn’t dare mention it, lest his tiny smile fall away.
“What happened here?” the woman who had asked them to paint cried when saw them. “I thought painting would be an easy enough task for you! Go wash up in the river, the both of you! Go!”
She all but pushed them in the direction of the lake, forcing them away from the mess they’d left behind.
It was only when they were a decent distance away that Shinobu burst out laughing once more.
“Goodness, I think we were just scolded!” she laughed, instinctively leaning into Giyuu’s side. “The poor woman looked ready to kill us!”
“We deserved it. We made a mess.”
“Well, yes, but wasn’t it fun?”
He sighed deeply, then nodded reluctantly.
She grinned and hooked her arm around his, surprising herself with her own boldness. “Shall we get cleaned up?”
Several people were scattered along the bank of the river, most of them equipped with washboards and baskets filled with dirty clothing, whistling to themselves or talking to each other. Only a few of them paid Shinobu and Giyuu much mind, eyes widening as they caught the sight of their paint-covered selves before returning to their own personal business.
Shinobu led them further along the shore and mostly away from their prying eyes. The spot she chose was just under the shade of a camphor tree that made the clear water appear an inky black with no end in sight.
If she had been warier of her surroundings, maybe she would have seen that the wide stares of the villagers grew more panicked as she and Giyuu moved further along the shore. Maybe she would have wondered why they all stayed away from the dark waters near the camphor tree, or may she would question why the water appeared as black as night in the first place.
Maybe she would have realized it was because the lake ran particularly deep on that side and that the seasoned villagers avoided it because they couldn’t reach the ground with their toes. Maybe she would have remembered Mitsuri’s warning about underwater plants that pulled at one’s ankles.
Normally, Shinobu considered herself to be a fairly logical person, but with a certain someone and his damned eyes and almost-smile claiming most of the space in her head, her mind no longer worked to its full capacity.
She ventured into the lake first, clothes and all, completely unaware of the ground’s sudden drop until she’d learned about it the hard way.
With a yelp, she fell into the water, instinctively reaching for Giyuu’s hand and pulling him under with her.
Gasps rang out amongst the onlookers but every sound was muted under the calm blue waves. The only thing that kept her tethered to reality was the feeling of his hand around hers, strong and secure as it always was as it pulled her back up to the surface and onto the shore.
It reminded her of the day they first met, when she was still a stuck-up princess and he was nothing more than her statuesque guard. She had run from him then, run from her duties and her responsibilities and overbearing father’s wishes. She had run with the expectation that he wouldn’t be able to reach her or keep up with her, only for him to trap her in his protective grip and send them tumbling into the garden’s pond.
She had been left in complete shock by the whole affair, still in disbelief over the audacity he’d had to pull her into a pond in the first place. Little did she know that she would find herself in a similar situation where instead of brushing him off, she wanted to pull him closer, to have him against her in a way she couldn’t understand quite yet, a way she didn’t want to admit to where it would be impossible to determine where his body ended and hers began.
He loomed over her again just like the first time, both of them trying to catch their breaths and calm their racing hearts. His gaze was heated, his azure eyes oddly dark like the sky on a moonless night. In them, she saw wildfires and ice storms, hurricanes and volcanoes, the blazing sun and the calm moon. Even covered in paint, his face struck her, making her chest shudder.
It was like their previous incident in the forest the day before but amplified to a thousand. Every single one of her nerves was on high alert, burning a wildfire within her that she, truthfully, had no desire to escape from.
They needed to stop ending up like this for her own health.
They lay there unmoving, their surroundings hazy and muted like a watercolour painting— ignorant of everything and everyone other than each other.
Small droplets of water fell from his face and hair onto her. She soon found herself reaching up to brush away a particularly stubborn one that hung to the end of his dark lashes, his breath momentarily stuttering with the action.
For the first time in her life, she handed the reins over to her heart, allowing herself to be guided by impulse and the urges that silently lurked within her.
Her eyes followed the contours of his throat as he swallowed, greedily tracing over his Adam’s apple and collarbones until she ended up back at his face. Then carefully, as if he were a piece of priceless china, she brushed her index finger over his lips.
In a moment of surprising boldness, he captured her finger between his teeth and teased it with the tip of his tongue, making her breath stutter to a halt in her lungs. Suddenly, her entire body felt heated, fire coursing through every vein and artery.
The fire could destroy her, that much she knew, but oh, how she wanted so badly to burn.
She whispered his first name, the sound intimate as it divulged her feelings, her deepest desires that she could barely comprehend, let alone expect him to.
Though like the boom of thunder, the single word was enough to stir him out of his reverie and send him scrambling to his feet.
Shinobu remained on the ground, now shockingly aware of how deeply she had lost herself in the walls of her own mind, how she’d almost signed herself away on a whim. Her logical side took control once more, scolding her for ever allowing her emotions to drive her actions. Still, the same fire steadily pulsed through her, making itself known with every beat of her trembling heart.
Facing away from her, he held out his hand. “I’ll escort you back to the inn.”
“But what about the paint?”
“Mitsuri can help.”
She felt something in her chest crack at how nonchalantly he addressed her.
They silently walked back to town with a seemingly insurmountable distance between them. Even the paint that lingered on their soaking wet clothes and bodies weren’t enough to make either of them crack a smile, Giyuu’s face hard and distant and Shinobu’s own thoughts trapping her in a frenzy.
He dropped her off at the inn and murmured something about needing to check up on a few things for the festival before leaving her alone.
As he walked away, leaving her side, the heat inside her seemed to grow, reaching out in an attempt to follow him but failing miserably.
Shinobu returned to their room, closing the door behind her and sinking to the floor against it in defeat.
She’d wanted him. It was undeniable and yet, the mere prospect of it terrified her. Never before had she felt that way, nor had she known that it was possible for her to feel that way about anyone.
Her breaths turned panicked, her pounding heart thumping in her chest. She clutched her shirt, bringing the thin fabric over her mouth to muffle her words.
“I want him,” she whispered, as though speaking the thought aloud would be enough to send it away to a place where it wouldn’t torment her. Yet still, the pulsing continued, leaving her almost out of breath.
He was going to be the death of her, wasn’t he?
She looked at the bright sky just outside her window, watching a small sparrow fly past.
“What happens now?” she whispered, hoping that the sparrow or the silence that surrounded her would somehow give her the answer she needed.
Elsewhere, a distraught Giyuu Tomioka found himself alone at the edge of the forest, hiding in the shadow of the trees. His eyes were distant, staring forward but completely unfocused. The blue of his irises was no longer clear as it usually was, having turned dark as something burned in his chest.
He pressed his lips together, his brows furrowed in confusion.
He’d been reckless moments ago and he knew it. He'd gone too far. He’d known it then as well as he knew it now but he just couldn’t help himself.
Her pupils had been blown wide as she’d stared up at him, violet framed by long dark lashes and the faint sign of a blush on her cheeks. Her lips had been parted and her breathing heavy. She had touched him so gently, a form of delicacy he knew he didn't deserve.
At that moment, he had wanted her. He had wanted her more than he had wanted to breathe or to think. If she had asked him to be hers at that moment, he didn’t think he would have been able to deny her.
The thought terrified him.
Shinobu sighed for the millionth time that day, leaning her head against the wooden rail of the porch. A pink towel was still draped around her shoulders to collect the last water drops from her hair, freshly cleaned with Mitsuri’s help.
The villagers were cleaning up for the day, carrying the last bit of wood to and fro before returning to their own homes for the night. Or to the pub, as she learned all too well yesterday. Her head still hurt every so often and there were still some gaps in her memory that it was likely better she didn’t recall.
A tall shadow suddenly blocked out the sun and she was about to give that person a strongly worded piece of her mind, only to see that it was Giyuu, clean of all the paint and with his own hair still dripping water at the end of long black strands. He looked at her with a neutral expression, one she couldn’t venture behind for the time being.
“Welcome back,” she said, hoping her voice would be strong enough to hide the thousands of thoughts roaming around her head.
“Your hair is wet. You should be inside.”
“You’re one to talk.” She patted the spot on the porch next to her. “Sit down for a while. I want to see the sunset.”
She almost thought he’d just walk right past her and head inside, only for him to calmly sit down beside her.
A thick lavender cloud decorated the sky, lines of salmon pink slashing through the striking purple. Only half of the sky stubbornly remained the light blue of the day, though the colour was quickly being washed away by the descending light.
Shinobu took a deep breath and let it out, relishing in the fresh, clean air. Sitting on the porch of the inn, which had become her safe space at one point or another, watching the sunset with Giyuu (who had also become a sort of safety net for her at some point) brought her a peace she never realized she’d never known until now, in a tiny town that still saw her as a stranger, a guest for a mere few weeks. There was something whimsical about it all, and she would like to tell Kanao about it all someday, but that meant going back to that frigid castle.
Though maybe, if Giyuu stayed by her side as he was now, it wouldn’t be so bad. They could hide in a turret in the evenings and watch the sunsets, just like now, and she would feel safe and at peace.
If she could go back and live like that without the compromise and impending doom that was marriage, she would be content. Not ecstatic, but content. She didn’t think it was such a tremendous request and it would be enough for her.
She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. Maybe he was enough for her.
“I like sunsets,” he said, the sound of his voice and his words taking her by surprise.
“My, my, you’re finally telling me something without being asked. Incredible development, indeed. Did you watch them with someone?”
He nodded once. “My mother.”
As the sun sunk below the horizon, a sense of drowsiness overcame her, the fading light steadily lulling her.
She leaned her head against Giyuu’s shoulder, breathing deeply as she closed her eyes. Underneath her, his body momentarily tensed, then gradually relaxed, likely as it grew used to the new weight. He said nothing but didn’t move to push her away, instead shifting closer so she could reach him more comfortably.
“Do you want to go back inside?” he asked.
She shook her head. “Not yet. Let’s stay out here a little longer.”
She thought she heard his breath quicken for a brief moment, but knew she must have imagined it. Even when Giyuu seemed to be acting impulsively, he always knew what he was doing. That was just how a person that constantly lived on guard acted.
“Thank you, by the way. For bringing me home last night and helping me out this morning—”
His head fell against hers, making her stifle a giggle.
“Are you even listening to me?” she asked despite not being offended in the slightest. “You better be. I don’t thank people often, you know.”
He still didn’t reply, his breathing turning steady.
“Tomioka-san?”
Nothing.
“Ah… did you fall asleep?”
He lightly snored in response.
She giggled, quickly covering her mouth to avoid waking him. “You actually fell asleep like this. I never thought you’d be the type to take a nap anywhere, Tomioka-san. Idiot.”
Smiling to herself, she closed her eyes and sighed happily. “Well, I suppose I’ll join you this once. You should feel fortunate that I feel safe around you.”
Only with you. Always only with you.
“Why is my heart beating so fast…?” she whispered under her breath before doing her best to look up at his sleeping face. “I hope you have good dreams, Tomioka.”
...Is it selfish if I ask you to dream of me?
Her brows bunched together, criticizing the thought. Of course it was.
Notes:
I'm back! Sorry for the month-long hiatus, school just about destroyed me in November, but here we are! Thank you for reading and don't worry, the next one won't take another month!
Chapter Text
Needless to say, Shinobu and Giyuu were banned from ever painting together again. So while Shinobu was shuffled off to paint duty due to her “delicacy” (as the woman put it), Giyuu was pushed towards the other end of the square to aid with the heavy lifting.
Not that the distance stopped her from staring.
Every time Shinobu looked up from her work, there he was in her line of sight, as though something went off in her brain whenever he was near. He would often be looking away, occupied by his work and whatnot, but he did meet her eyes twice through the whole occasion.
The desires from yesterday still ran just underneath her skin begging for an outlet, pleading for her to just take Giyuu and ram her lips onto–
Alright, that’s enough of that.
Still, the ridiculous nagging feeling wouldn’t go away. It was quite distracting, not to mention annoying.
Behind her, some of the girls tittered amongst themselves, smiling widely about something as they looked in Giyuu’s direction.
Shinobu subtly leaned towards them to catch pieces of their conversation.
“–so cute!” one of them cried. “I hope he sticks around after the festival!”
“Forget about after!” another said. “I’m taking my chances at the festival! Just imagine being alone with him along the lake under the blue moon…”
“Too bad I’ll be alone with him. Sorry girls, but I saw him first,” a third interjected.
Shinobu rolled her eyes, shaking her head with an incredulous smile. As if Giyuu would ever entertain girls in general, much less any of these three. He wouldn’t even entertain Shinobu.
Still, the mischievous part of her was more than tempted to go over to Giyuu when she knew they’d be watching to prove they didn’t stand a chance with him, that his attention was already preoccupied. It was devious and completely unnecessary, but she was already on her way over to him. She poked his arm, summoning all his attention onto her.
It was a lapse in judgement on her part. She’d forgotten just how attracted to him she was and the fevered energy within her was running its course through her veins at an even sharper speed, trying to push her forward so she could touch him again.
“Alright?” he asked with seemingly unfocused eyes, likely confused as to why she was even over here. Curse him for still looking good with shadows under his eyes.
She cleared her throat. “Yes, quite so. I simply want to talk to you about something.”
He nodded and gestured towards the storage room at a slight distance, implying she follow him.
Take that, ladies, she wanted to say with a smirk. Oh, what had gotten into her today?
“It would appear you’re rather popular here, Tomioka-san,” she said. “Which I find rather surprising considering your intimidating demeanour.”
“I’m not intimidating.”
“Ha! I beg to differ. You look very unapproachable at times, you know, not that I mind.”
Those unfocused eyes met hers. “You don’t?”
“On the contrary, I’m relieved. Imagine if I had to vie for your attention amongst dozens of women! You’d be a rather lousy guard,” she teased.
“It won’t happen,” he said casually. “My attention is always on you.”
She giggled as they approached their destination. “My my, Tomioka-san, that almost sounds like a love confession.”
He shook his head in disbelief and entered the room to collect more items, leaving her to linger in the doorway with her back to him.
“Only you would see it that way,” he said slowly from inside.
Well, I would like to see it that way. Let me live the dream for a little bit.
No, that was ridiculous. What was she thinking? She didn’t want that. Why would she?
“Sorry, Tomioka, I hate to tell you that not all of us are as thick-skulled as others–”
Slam!
Shinobu jumped, the loud sound practically shaking her out of her skin.
“What was that?” she asked shakily as she tried to calm herself down.
Silence.
“Tomioka?”
She turned around and gasped before breaking out into a run.
He was lying on the floor with his eyes shut, several boxes and wooden beams lying lopsided beside him. She shook his shoulders in an effort to wake him, but not a single muscle moved under her touch.
“Giyuu! Giyuu!” she called, his first name impulsively slipping out.
She pressed her fingers to the side of his neck, searching for the tiny, seemingly unimportant pulse that signified life itself, and when she found it, a sigh of relief ran through her.
“Giyuu?”
She pressed the back of her hand to his forehead, immediately flinching. He was boiling.
This was why his gaze had appeared unfocused and why the shadows under his eyes were more strikingly visible. The idiot had been hiding a fever.
She immediately sprang into action, her brain racing to remember what she’d learned from her books. She managed to push him onto his back and got on top of him to loosen his clothes, unbuttoning the first few buttons of his shirt and untying the belt at his waist. Finally, she pinched his cheeks to bring colour to them, but when he still didn't wake up, anxiety ran through her.
When someone fainted, it wasn’t supposed to take long for them to wake up again unless there was something deeply, deeply wrong.
Having run out of ideas, she smacked him.
He groaned underneath her, his misty blue eyes blinking open to stare at her. Their dark depths were cloudy— she wouldn’t have been surprised if he currently had no idea who she was.
“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighed, her body relaxing as he gradually gained consciousness.
“Princess…?”
“You had me worried sick, you know! You can’t just go around fainting like that! What if you had hit your head on something hard? What if you had gotten a concussion? Damn it, you need to be more careful!”
She tried helping him to a sitting position, only for him to wince part way and fall back towards the ground.
She swallowed a ball of tension and tried to control her breathing, her palms beginning to sweat where they held onto his shirt.
“Loud,” he whispered.
“I-I’m sorry, I’ll try to be quieter,” she replied softly, her chest still fighting to breathe despite nothing being in its way. “But you fainted. That isn’t something to be taken lightly, not to mention that you undoubtedly have a bad fever.”
His eyes fell shut. “I’ll be fine. Back… to work.”
“Are you insane? ”
Shinobu breathed in through her nose, slowly inhaling, holding her breath, then exhaling, four seconds, seven seconds, eight seconds, just as she’d been taught.
“How do you feel?” she asked when she was more under control.
His brows furrowed together. “Cold.”
“Cold? But how–” she cut herself off. “Open your eyes.”
His eyes slowly opened and a part of her sank. The whites of his eyes were tinged here and there in pink, their blue less vivid as they hazily stared up at her. How could she not have noticed sooner? Had she been so distracted by her pettiness, her need to prove herself to absolute strangers that she ignored the clear signs that he was unwell?
“Open your mouth.”
Following her orders, his mouth fell open, allowing her to see the back of his throat, which appeared inflamed and red.
“You have a fever and a cold,” she said while helping him close his jaw. “We’re going back to the inn where you will rest. I’ll take care of you, so you’ll have nothing to worry about.”
He nodded, seemingly too tired to fight her.
She knew that the fever would soon completely take over and incapacitate him at least until tomorrow. His symptoms seemed to be related to a cold, likely due to their dip in the lake yesterday and falling asleep with wet hair outside. Shinobu had always been given the appropriate food to eat to build her immunity to such illnesses, but since Giyuu hadn’t grown up as fortunately as she had, it was no surprise that he succumbed. She was more surprised that he hadn’t gotten sick earlier after their rendezvous in the rain, but illnesses were odd like that sometimes.
She knew that much.
Two of the men Giyuu was helping were kind enough to carry him back to the inn, one of them even trying to calm a very distraught Shinobu.
“Ah, don’t sweat it! He’ll be fine in no time,” he’d reassured as they brought Giyuu up the stairs.
She knew he’d be fine, that what he had was relatively minor in the grand scheme of things and that he’d likely be better after a long nap, but she couldn’t help but fear the worst when she looked at him lying weakly in bed. She had always known him to be strong, so watching him shiver despite being buried in blankets in the summer was a devastating blow.
It didn’t help that memories from the past were surging through her head, to the point where it wasn’t Giyuu she saw lying in the bed but someone else, in a larger bed in a bigger room that was far from here, sweat coating her forehead in the same way as she struggled to breathe.
Shinobu sank to the floor, clawing at her arms and trying to shake away the memory to no avail. This isn’t like last time! Nowhere near it. He’ll be fine, he’ll be fine, he’ll be fine–
“Are you still here?” Giyuu asked from the bed, his voice sounding raspy.
Shinobu’s head shot up and the memories completely fell away as she saw him, not a ghost from the past.
“I’m here,” she replied softly, rising from the floor to sit on the edge of the bed. “What do you need?”
Giyuu unlatched his hand from the blanket and pulled on her sleeve, tugging it like a child pulling on his mother’s skirt. She shifted closer and his hand went from her sleeve to her wrist, warm as he squeezed it tightly, but not painfully.
With her free hand, she took a towel from the nightstand and wiped at his brow, choosing to ignore how tightly she held onto the piece of cloth to gain her bearings.
“Don’t leave again,” he weakly begged. “Not again…please...”
His pleas completely pierced through what she believed were iron defences, making her heart sink as she began understanding just how vulnerable he truly was deep, deep down. She had never heard him sound like this, but it was only natural that he did— after all, he was only human too.
He lifted her hand and dropped it on his head before nuzzling into it, rendering her completely speechless. Carefully, she smoothed down his hair, taking her time to run her hand through his locks, each of them wondrously soft as they flowed through her fingers.
He sighed contentedly beneath her, reminding her of a kitten. It was hard to not smile when he sounded like that.
“Thank you… Tsutako…”
Her hand froze.
Tsutako?
“You’re welcome…” she said stiffly before continuing, though her fingers were far tenser than they were before.
Thorns crept over her heart, trapping it so it struggled to beat. It wasn’t anger— that was something she easily recognized. It wasn’t the stifling feeling of sadness, it wasn’t disgust…
Her wrist was still warm where he’d held onto it, the touch having imprinted itself on her skin.
Who was Tsutako? Was she a friend of his? Did he actually have friends? Was she a girl from his village that he grew up with? A girl he shared all kinds of memories with? A girl that knew him inside and out?
Did she often do this for him? Did he seek her out on long days to lay his head in her lap so she could run her delicate fingers, ones that were likely softer than Shinobu's, through his hair?
Did he leave her behind to join the Royal Guard? Did he promise to return when he’d made something of himself so he could call himself worthy of her? So he could finally give himself the honour of calling her his wife?
Ah. She knew what this feeling was. It was the same feeling from earlier when she’d felt unreasonably challenged by the girls who had their eyes set on him.
This is what jealousy feels like, isn’t it?
Shinobu bit her tongue in a desperate attempt at distracting herself from such intruding thoughts. She couldn’t be jealous. It was impossible. In fact, she pitied the poor girl that had to deal with Giyuu’s unbearable silent spells and blunt words and overly serious demeanour and comforting presence and warm body and strong hands and–
“Maybe I’m coming down with something,” she said aloud, rubbing her temple with her free hand. “Just leave it to you to get me sick too.”
Giyuu didn’t reply, his laboured breath sounding the tiniest bit softer. Her gaze returned to him and sure enough, he looked quite asleep.
“What am I going to do with you?” she asked, the hand in his hair moving down to cup his cheek instead.
She leaned down to gently brush her lips against his forehead, a gesture that made him slightly stir. She quickly moved away, lest he catch her being affectionate with him.
“Princess…?” he whispered.
She scoffed. “Even when you’re delirious, you can’t say my name? Professional to the end, Tomioka-san,” she said to hide how she truly felt. “You should sleep. Your body needs to rest.”
His eyes fluttered open once more. “Stay.”
You don’t want me to stay. You want Tsutako.
“I shouldn’t,” Shinobu said, beginning to rise from the bed. “It isn’t me you want.”
She wanted to curse at herself for being so selfish and bitter. She should’ve held back that ridiculous comment and kept it to herself.
“I only want you…”
He–
What?
Her heart burst from the thorns it had wrapped around itself, leaping from her chest and pounding enthusiastically. She whirled around to face him, catching his eyes gazing up at her, unfocused and hazy but undeniably staring at her. Only at her.
Maybe she was delirious too. The Giyuu she knew would never say such a thing to her, no matter how much she wished he could. She couldn’t go on kidding herself and naively believing he would.
But would it hurt to give in just this once?
If he regretted it in the morning, they could blame it on the fever and that would be that. If he didn’t want her then… she would be okay with it, as long as she was able to experience it now, just this once.
She carefully approached the bed, giving him time to send her away, but he only looked on in a hazy wonder.
She lay down beside him, curling into his side so her arms wouldn’t hang off the edge of the bed. For once, she felt grateful for her tiny size: she was small enough to fit beside him, like a lost puzzle piece finally making its way into the final image.
“If you want me to leave, just tell me, okay?” she said.
He nodded slowly before his breathing evened out again.
Silly.
Shinobu stood in the middle of the castle garden, completely alone except for a flock of squawking birds that flew overhead in the grey, overcast sky.
Everything was drained of colour, the typically lush gardens faded into a muted dark green, the magnificent flowers replaced by sad weeds, the carefully trimmed shrubbery overgrown and dying.
Above her, thunder rumbled, threatening a rainstorm at any second. The wind whipped past her alongside it, making her shiver. In the distance, she thought she saw the woods on fire.
Finally, rain began pouring tirelessly from the sky. She seemed to remain dry, but the rain roared all around her as it hit the earth. The birds remained undeterred by the rain, instead screeching even louder than before.
Shinobu covered her ears, unable to take the harsh cacophony of her surroundings. She felt herself scream as loudly as she could, but not a single sound could be heard over everything else.
A new sound descended over her: a steady pulse that made all the frenzy come to a sudden halt, from the raging winds to the torrential downpour, turning the storm into a soft rainfall that slowly brought the rest of the garden back to life.
Shinobu’s hands came down from her ears as her heart also took note of the pulse, timing its own beats to the calming sound.
When she woke up, she didn’t open her eyes, wanting to linger in that tranquil scene for just a moment longer until she heard it, the same strong pulse echoing against her ear. She was completely surrounded in warmth and the sound of life itself.
Behind her closed eyes, she recalled the same sensation occurring just the other night, when she’d scrambled in the darkness until she could feel a pulse beneath her fingertips, his pulse. She hadn’t remembered until now and was grateful she hadn’t— she wouldn’t have known what to do, how to react, but now that she’d been put into a similar situation, she understood.
The fears that consumed her wouldn’t go away easily if they ever went away at all. There would still be nights when she would wake up cold and terrified, yearning for the warmth of someone who was no longer around. But she would no longer be alone, left abandoned in the snow to find her own way. His pulse would bring her peace, calming the thunderstorms that lurked just under her skin. The steady beating of his heart would comfort her and guide her home.
Guide her to…
She opened her eyes to a celestial blue gazing right back at her. If he carried the stars in his eyes, there would be no difference between them and the heavens above.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, stretching her hand up to touch his forehead. “Your fever is gone.”
“Better. Thank you,” he said, his voice quiet but stronger than earlier. “Did I… ask you to stay?”
Ah. It didn’t occur to her that she had probably overstayed her welcome. “Yes, but I can go now. I’m sorry for–”
“No. You don’t have to.”
“Do you want me to stay?”
He said nothing and she began preparing herself to pull away, only for him to nod once, twice in her direction, a silent plea written in his eyes.
Please.
She couldn’t say no to that even if she had wanted to in the first place.
Ask him, the devil on her shoulder commanded. Ask him who she is.
“Tomioka?” she asked, settling into a cross-legged position near the end of the bed. “Who’s Tsutako?”
Giyuu stiffened, his gaze moving to lock itself on the wall in front of him. He said nothing and she wondered if he’d even heard her at all.
“You called her for her earlier when you were delirious.” She must be someone special to you. “Is she your wife?”
If he was shocked by her assumption, he didn’t show it. “She was my older sister.”
Older sister?
She should have been relieved; after all, the mysterious Tsutako hadn’t been a bride as Shinobu had feared, but…
“‘Was?’” she repeated quietly.
He said nothing.
She swallowed nervously, the energy in her body turning frantic. The situation was too familiar, too identical to her own for her to be able to relax. “She isn’t around anymore, is she?”
A few seconds passed, then he shook his head. No.
Her eyes widened, her pulse finally racing. Memories of black gowns and white lilies flashed through her mind, the thick smell of incense and the thin billowing of smoke and Kanao as silent as ever by her side.
“What happened?” she dared herself to ask, her ever-present curiosity getting the better of her.
Giyuu turned his head towards the bed, clutching the sheets like a child who was still afraid of the dark. “The village was raided by thieves. They came into our house and…”
He didn’t need to finish the sentence. They both knew how it ended.
“She sacrificed herself to protect me,” he continued, his voice sounding oddly bitter as he recalled the memory. “I just sat there and watched. I was useless.”
Useless. Useless, useless, useless.
Shinobu sat in the corner of her room with her legs pulled up to her chest and her hands buried in her hair.
“There’s nothing you could have done,” was what the doctor had said. “Nothing.”
She had never felt like such a failure. Even her tears were wasteful. Even after years of learning from the greatest tutors, even with access to all the books in the grand library, she was clueless as to what she was meant to do, lacking the knowledge needed to be useful. To save what mattered most.
She took a deep shuddering breath and wiped her face with the back of her black silk sleeve. She would never feel this way ever again, she decided. She would never know this feeling of utter helplessness. She swore it.
“To never feel useless again,” Shinobu whispered aloud. “You made yourself that promise, didn’t you? That’s why you learned to fight.”
His eyes were wide as he looked at her in wonder. Slowly, he nodded.
It all made sense now: how someone like him was able to defeat seasoned soldiers at such a young age and become her guard, why he was so adamant about his duty and looked ready to spring into action at any point, why he had been upset over being unable to protect her from the thieves in the forest— he had promised himself, just as she had.
An amused breath escaped from her nose. “In the beginning, we were always at each other’s throats. Or at least, I was at yours,” she admitted. “Turns out we were exactly the same.”
“How?”
She took a deep breath.
“I don’t know how much you know about my family, but… I was never meant to be queen. Ever. I was second-in-line to the throne and although I was close, they never trained me for it. It was always meant to be someone else. The first one was…”
A beautiful tall figure entered the room, her obsidian hair pinned back with sparkling jewelled pins and her body clad in an ornate plum gown. Her fair face held a delicate smile and her gaze was refined and gentle as she faced the other nobles.
“Her Royal Highness, Princess–”
“Kanae.”
It was the first time Shinobu had said her sister’s name in a very long time. Regardless, the two syllables were far from foreign to her no matter how much time had passed. Kanae.
“She was my older sister and the true heir to the throne. She would have been an amazing queen,” she said, feeling herself grow more emotional as the words tumbled out.
Shinobu’s grip on her skirt tightened. “Everyone adored her and I loved her so much. But one day, she became very, very sick.”
It was the seamstress’ shriek that summoned Shinobu to the fitting room.
Colourful fabrics were strewn across the ground, many of them dyed in shades of her sister’s signature purple, and in the middle of them all was Kanae, her bright eyes closed and her face pale. Shinobu immediately sent for the Kanao and rushed to Kanae’s side.
When Kanae finally awoke, she turned to her sisters with a cheerful smile. “Don’t worry! I just haven’t eaten much today, that’s all. I’ll be fine!”
But she wasn’t fine. She would never be fine again.
Her fainting spells became more than just spells, occurring several times a week. She barely had an appetite, which turned her skin pale and rendered her admirable figure almost sickly thin. She would spend days in bed, too weak to stand and with barely enough strength to speak at times, and even then, she constantly reassured everyone that she would be alright, that this was a temporary illness and that in a few weeks she would be back on her feet.
Shinobu knew it couldn’t be true, but even then, she couldn’t find herself able to refute her sister’s words. If Kanae said that she would be alright, then she would be. She had never been wrong before.
Then one afternoon as Kanae slept, Shinobu found the bloody handkerchiefs hidden in the crevice between the bedframe and the wall, the carefully embroidered K stained over in red.
It was the first time she had ever felt deathly, deathly afraid.
It wasn’t long before Kanae was unable to hide her true condition. Her coughing fits grew stronger and far more frequent, her naps lasting all day instead of a mere few hours. The doctor eventually informed them that she was gravely ill— she wouldn’t make it to spring.
And she didn’t.
Shinobu told Giyuu about it all, finally not holding herself back as she divulged all the thoughts and feelings she had gone through since the moment of Kanae’s passing, sharing everything she’d kept to herself.
She told him of the happy memories as well, of swimming in the beaches and playing in the meadows, always under the watchful eyes of guards who sometimes joined them in their games. She told him of how she would seek Kanae out when she couldn’t sleep and they would go to the edge of the forest just outside the palace, or sit by the fountain in the garden and count the stars reflected in the water.
And she told him of the aftermath of Kanae’s departure; of the fear that had consumed Shinobu’s soul, especially in the early days as she had been shoved into the world of royalty like never before, thrust into preparations for a throne that was never meant to be hers while still wearing gowns of mourning. After all, the kingdom still required a queen— that wouldn’t change simply because its first and vastly better option was gone.
Eight months after Kanae’s passing, her father had made his first mention of a royal wedding. It had started as a suggestion, simply an idea to enforce the notion that their family was still strong. “After all,” he’d said, “Kanae was on the verge of being engaged, herself.” It would have made sense for Shinobu to do the same.
As the simple suggestions turned into bold encouragements, then outright orders combined with advisors and nobles telling her what to do and how to act, what to say and what to wear, her resolve had begun cracking until one day, she burst out of the throne room and ran, ran as far as she could.
And she’d continued running until Giyuu arrived and caught her.
He had stayed quiet throughout her long-winded explanation, as was his usual custom, but his eyes never strayed from hers. Even if he said nothing, she knew all his attention was focused on her.
“I’m sorry, I’ve let my words run away with me,” she said sheepishly once she was finished. “And you’re still recovering.”
“I’m glad you told me,” he replied, not leaving any room for doubt.
She sighed deeply, her chest suddenly feeling a tad lighter. “I am too,” she said, taking his warm hand in hers. “I would like to hear about Tsutako someday too.”
Giyuu seemed to be taken aback, but he nodded all the same. “I’d like that too.”
When Kanae had held Shinobu’s hand, it was impossible for Shinobu to feel anything other than completely safe and at peace. After she died, Shinobu had been trapped in the frenzy of her mind, wrapped entirely in a wildfire from head to toe. Running had seemed like the only option under the naive belief that somewhere, she’d find a place far from it all where the memories could no longer touch her.
Then out of nowhere, someone else’s hand had intertwined with hers and brought that serenity back.
“You should get some more sleep,” Shinobu suggested without pulling her hand away. “I would do the same, but I don’t think I could possibly get any sleep now. I already slept all day with you after all!”
“So don’t. We can stay up a little longer.”
She couldn’t fight the small smile that found its way onto her face. “And do what? It’s pitch black outside.”
“We can talk here.”
She giggled. “My word, Tomioka-san, you of all people suggesting we talk? Perhaps you are still delirious.”
He shrugged. “I want to understand you more.”
“Well, understanding goes both ways, and I do believe I’ve spoken enough tonight. Why don’t you speak for a change?”
He looked away momentarily. “I’m not very good at it. I don’t like to.”
“That’s alright, I’ve never complained about it till now, have I? You’re welcome to say as little or as much as you please.”
It took him some time, but when he did begin speaking, it wasn’t like the destruction of a dam with all the repressed water suddenly flooding in like Shinobu’s tangent had been. Instead, it was more like a soft rainfall after a long, hot day in the fields: refreshing, welcomed, and far too gentle to bother anyone.
He didn’t tell her everything, but every word that spilt from his lips mattered, that cool voice that she’d come to recognize so well sounding like music to her. There were times when she’d lost herself in the sound of it and the deep blue of his eyes, so completely enraptured by him and everything he was that her surroundings turned into nothing more than a pleasant blur.
The grievous, often uncaring world fell away when she was with him, turning her fears and griefs into nothing more than hazy memories. She could lose herself completely in him, if he would allow her to.
All the while, her hand never left his. She had left a loose hold on him so he could freely pull away at any time, but his fingers remained wrapped in hers as though she somehow provided the same safe harbour he freely gave to her.
Eventually, the conversation died down and she found herself lying on her stomach in front of him, her chin perched on his chest, just over his heartbeat. It was an intimate position for what they were, but she couldn't bring herself to care.
She studied his face in the passing moonlight, the flickering candle having gone out some time ago. Her eyes danced across the curve of his cheek and the faint scar on the underside of his jaw, likely left from an unimportant skirmish from long ago.
She paused when her gaze landed on the arch of his lips.
She wanted to kiss him at that moment. At every moment. She wanted to wrap her arms around his neck and lay her head on his shoulder, wanted to brush back those stubborn locks of his to plant a chaste kiss on his forehead, wanted to know every part of him in every way imaginable, from the tips of his fingers to the innermost parts of his soul.
And she wanted to expose all that she was to him, and him alone.
He was someone that knew her pain like no other, someone who had lived it and could identify himself in her, but before that, he had already come to understand her. To know her.
Before tonight, he had already been Giyuu: a man she could trust with her thoughts and her secrets and the inner workings of her soul.
And with her heart.
"It's almost dawn," he said, looking out the window.
Just beyond the pane of glass, the sky was dark and preparing itself for a brand new day.
And just in front of that pane was Shinobu, a woman who had already made it to her own new day.
"We should try to sleep, at least for a few hours," she suggested. "You stay in the bed for tonight."
Giyuu's arm draped over her shoulders, barring her escape. "We both fit."
"Indeed we do."
A beat of silence.
"...Will you stay?" he asked, the tiniest sound of nervousness revealing itself through his voice.
"Do you want me to?" she replied, repeating their exchange from earlier.
"Yes. Do you?"
She nodded and closed her eyes. "I'd be happy to."
When she opened her eyes, it was well past dawn and she was still pressed against Giyuu, his arm still around her shoulders. On the floor near the door was a tray with two glasses of juice and two plates of food, likely gifts from Mitsuri.
She smiled to herself. No...this isn't bad at all.
"Awake?" Giyuu asked.
She hummed in response, then reluctantly sat up to stretch, yawning as she extended her arms out. "We should head downstairs." Not that she wanted to, the energy from the night before still coursing through her veins.
She dared her first glance at him and nearly burst out laughing.
"Your hair is an absolute mess!" she teased.
"So is yours."
"I don't believe that. I'll have you know, I rarely wake up with a hideous bedhead."
"Look in the mirror."
"I will."
The magic of last night still lingered in the air; she could still sense it on her skin, saw it in the way his gaze seemed to linger on her a few seconds longer than usual, felt it when her hand accidentally brushed past his on her way to the other room.
When she glanced at the mirror, she found that her hair truly was an abhorrent mess. She sighed loudly enough for him to hear her. "When I return, you better not be smug!"
When she stepped out, he was facing away from her, a wise choice indeed. The rest of his body was bathed in the morning sunlight, golden and pure.
Yes, he was beautiful— she had denied that fact long enough. But she had seen handsome men before, knew quite well that beauty could only entertain a person for so long.
Now when she looked at him and admired him, it wasn't for his physical beauty, regardless of how potent it was. She knew that buried underneath all that, he was a treasure trove of memories, a collection of good times that made him smile when he remembered them, and of the bad times that defined who he was now. Underneath his dark beauty was his soul, covered in patches from where he'd tried to stitch himself back together after losing his family, his sister.
And Shinobu knew her own soul bore those same jagged scars.
"I can fix it," he offered. "Your hair."
She arched an eyebrow. "You know how to do a woman's hair?"
He nodded, turning around to face her.
"Did you do it for Tsutako before?"
He hesitated, then nodded again before retrieving the simple wooden hairbrush she had been using during their stay here.
They sat cross-legged on the bed, Giyuu behind her trailing the brush through her hair.
There was more than a mutual understanding between them now. More than a simple friendship. Far more than the professional relationship they started with. However, she still wasn't quite sure what they were. Definitely not acquaintances.
Friends? No, friends didn't stare at each other's lips while a fire raged under their skin. At least, she didn't think they did, and she definitely didn't see him as a brother. So what else did that leave-
...No...it can't be...
Shinobu was suddenly conscious of everything, of one of his warm hands against her bare shoulder to hold her steady, pressing against her skin as though the blood from his veins could somehow flow from his body into hers, of his gentle breath tickling her neck and filling the otherwise silent room with sound.
That was another thing— the room was quiet, but not unbearably so. Shinobu, who had always hated the quiet, who found it lonely, found the silence now to be oddly serene. Calming. It was as though all the conflict and noise had suddenly faded away into a blurry background, leaving only her, Giyuu, and the roaring of her own heart.
Giyuu…
His name brought that rush of emotions from last night through her again. Nice and pleasant, warm and calm like those two simple syllables. Giyuu. A content smile settled on her face.
Oh.
Shinobu’s eyes went wide. It became difficult to draw one breath after another, each one getting caught in her lungs before it could even make it to her throat. Every colour was suddenly more vibrant, every detail more prominent. She could see the threading of the flowers sewed on the curtains, feel each stitch on the blanket beneath them, notice every minuscule scratch on the wooden dresser.
And she could feel him, every brush of his fingers against her skin and through her hair, every little lock becoming ignited at his touch.
Shinobu’s eyes watered and she bit her lip to stop anything from coming down. She wanted to cry out for help, wanted someone to save her before she drifted underneath the waves.
But it was far too late for her to be saved now. She was already in too deep.
Kanae, please help me.
I think I’ve–
She didn’t want to keep fighting it off anymore. She was tired of wrestling with her own mind.
She still remembered the day Kanae told her she’d found her match, a prince who seemed to openly despise the world but became unbearably tender with her. Kanae had known he was going to propose before he did and was completely ecstatic over the prospect of saying ‘yes,’ of standing next to him at the altar and swearing to remain by his side forever.
Shinobu had laughed at how silly her sister was, but Kanae had remained resilient with that sweet smile on her face.
“Laugh all you want, but it will be your turn someday! Just wait until you meet the one that makes your heart flutter! I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle with a ridiculous smile on your face!”
Shinobu had shaken her head at the idea, thoughts of love never crossing her mind even once before that point, much less thoughts of marriage. Of promising herself to anyone.
Now, she was completely breathless, sudden understanding consuming her whole being. Kanae had felt it before and Shinobu felt it now.
She was in love with him.
Oh, Kanae, what have I done?
I don’t know what all these feelings are, I don’t know how to deal with them.
But I do know that I’m happy when I’m with him. Things make sense when I’m with him. He’s the only one I’d willingly let into my mind, that is if he can somehow make sense of the mess I have in here.
Who am I kidding? He already has.
He didn’t even have to do anything and I hate him for it. I despise how easy it was for him to slip through the cracks, to bypass the fortress I put up like it was mere child's play.
I love him and I’m terrified. I’m scared of losing him, of giving him up, of him leaving me, just like you had to.
Her stare bore holes into the wall in front of her. Oh, how naive she had been…
I love you, she mouthed so Giyuu couldn't hear her. You idiot.
Notes:
We finally reached the chapter I've been looking forward to since this whole thing started, which makes me beyond happy! Thank you for reading!
Chapter Text
When he opened his eyes, all he saw was her.
Before Giyuu even felt the unfamiliar weight on his chest, or the tickle of her hair on his chin, or the faint smell of lavender under his nose, he saw her.
And he didn’t want to wake up without her near him ever again.
It was a ridiculous thought and he knew it, one meant for lovers and spouses and not him, certainly not him, who was barely worthy of her attention let alone this. He wondered when Shinobu had gone from being his princess, his duty above all else to… whatever this could be called. Someone who teased him and took care of him, someone who trusted him and listened to him, believed in him and confided in him. Someone who protected him just as much as he protected her.
He ran his thumb down a lock of hair draped over her temple, the motion making her sigh softly. She buried her face further into him, tucking herself deeper into his side.
He smiled to himself and tightened the hold his arm had around her without even realizing it.
He knew he didn’t deserve to hold her this way. He knew he wasn’t even supposed to hold her like this at all, but it was nearly impossible to pull away when she was so small and warm…
And because the bed was small. Yes, that was it.
He sighed deeply, cursing himself for his vulnerability. He could never trust his actions around her anymore. Lately, it had become far too tempting to cross the line between them and try to turn their professional relationship into something it wasn't allowed to be and give into his hidden temptations, just as he had done when he was delirious and begged her to stay with him.
These days, he was always thinking of Shinobu, the enigma that she was. She still confounded and confused him to no end, making him question everything he had ever heard about her— swirling rumours of her short temper, her penchant for constantly speaking her mind and out of turn, her uncontrollable strength that would likely become the country’s downfall once she took over the throne and became queen.
He knew now that it was all because she was never prepared to become such a thing in the first place. That her short temper was a part of her, just as much as her happy memories and the gaping loss of her sister were a part of her. That she spoke her mind largely because she didn’t see a point in dancing around a subject and hiding her true opinions.
He should have stayed away from her, should have let her go on hating him. He should have let her loose in the woods so she could escape miles away from him, at least if it weren’t his duty to make sure she didn’t do just that.
Giyuu clutched the fabric of his shirt and looked down at her peacefully breathing form that remained completely oblivious to his thoughts. He wanted to smoothen the crease between her brows.
Behind her closed eyelids was a pair of vibrant violet eyes, sometimes gentle like small budding flowers and other times as powerful as burning fires. They looked like star-filled skies and the sunsets they could someday watch together.
Whenever she looked at him, he finally felt complete. As though he had a purpose, at long last after so much wandering. As though the bruised heart that seemed to have stopped beating the day he lost his family was finally beginning to pulse again. It was as though he had finally found the exit of a dark forest or a breath of fresh air in a room of smoke.
Was this what it meant to be in–
No. Don’t even think about it.
She isn’t yours.
He sighed deeply. It was a story as old as time itself, the type told to children before bed of a knight and his growing attachment to the princess he served. That kind of story always had a happy ending, but far too much had happened to him throughout his life for him to believe in something so foolish. She was a princess, his princess, and someday she would be his queen with an iron fist and a large crown on her head that she would absolutely despise.
And a strong king by her side, if her father either managed to convince her or force her into a marriage.
The image of a stoic man towering over Shinobu, handsome but icy, intelligent but selfish, ran through Giyuu’s mind, a young king with his large hand around her waist as though stating his claim, reminding everyone that she was his.
And Giyuu constantly standing behind them, a front-row seat to that hand against her unbearably tense body.
An icy chill seethed through him. He didn’t like the idea at all, not that it was his place to say anything about it. In fact, it wasn’t even his place to think about it, he reminded himself. After all, he’d come to be her guard, nothing more, nothing less. Why did it matter to him who she eventually married?
But it was about more than losing her to someone else, more than petty jealousy. It was about watching her lose herself— watching her vow her life away and dousing the fire that kept her alive. Watching her die slowly, painfully until there was nothing left but her body and a set of pale violet eyes as she became the ice queen he had originally expected her to be.
He leaned his chin against the top of her head and sighed. If she was damned to live that life, then he would damn himself with her too. Wherever she went, he would always follow, dedicated and loyal until the bitter end.
Giyuu's fingers carefully moved through Shinobu's hair, doing their absolute best to repeat the movements they had been taught so many years ago. Though he was rusty due to a lack of practice, her hair didn't look too terrible at the end, with the exception of a few stubborn strands that refused to be tied down. Much like her.
Brushed nicely with a few locks tied into a braid across the crown of her head, her hair made her look an awful lot like an ordinary village girl, just like the ones roaming around the town outside their window. Like a girl he might have seen in the market and spoken to if he'd had the courage to, a girl his mother and sister would have liked.
Shinobu looked in the mirror and giggled, a sweet musical sound as she tugged on one of the tiny locks left loose on her forehead.
“I must say, you are rather good, and it’s far comfier than what they normally do to my hair.”
Her reflection smiled at him and for a brief moment, he was left staring at her in awe.
Yes, she was stunning regardless of what she looked like, whether she was in a ballgown or a linen dress, but he found that this was the look he liked best— sitting in the glow of the sunlight streaming through the curtains, no need to go anywhere or do anything. Smiling at him. Smiling for him.
His lips parted in surprise. “You look beautiful, Shinobu,” he whispered.
Her eyes went wide, her smile slipping away almost instantly. “What did you say?” she asked hesitantly.
As though he had been doused in ice water, he quickly returned to his senses, clearing his throat and turning away shamefully before she could notice the blush forming on his cheeks.
“It suits you, Princess,” he said carefully.
He didn’t notice the way her body seemed to deflate, her look of shock fading into one of disappointment.
“Oh. Thank you, Tomioka.”
Regardless of how well she looked as a village girl, he couldn’t forget that she was far from actually being one. Even if she somehow did exist on his level, he could never actually deserve her.
A set of cool fingers settled around his hand, barely long enough to fully wrap around his wrist. Shinobu looked at him worriedly, then set her other hand on his forehead to check his temperature.
“You look pale. Do you still feel sick?” she asked.
He shook his head.
She frowned. “If you need more rest, you can go right ahead. There’s no need to pretend to be strong if you’re still feeling weak.”
The hand on his forehead fell to his cheek, gently holding him as she forced his eyes onto her.
“If you’re feeling tired or weak,” she continued, “you don’t need to hide it from me. In fact, please don’t.”
Normally, he would have ignored such a notion. Normally, he would have brushed it aside for the sake of the greater good, for the sake of protecting her and acting like her iron shield, but she had already seen him at his worst and now knew of the nightmares from his past that still terrified him. She knew it all and still cupped his cheek, still pleaded for him to rest if he needed to.
She still looked at him like that— as though he was worth something. As though he was worthy of affection. As though he wasn’t useless.
Why did she look at him like that? Why, when she was a princess who knew of all the beauties of their land, who was used to looking at priceless jewels and crowns and all the luxuries the world had to offer? When she was a highly intelligent and beautiful woman who could easily have anyone she wanted in whatever way she wanted?
Why did she look at him as though he was the only one she wanted to see?
He wanted to shake her, to tell her that he wasn’t worthy of that look, that she shouldn’t go on wasting her time with him.
“Ah, I’m sorry,” she said, beginning to pull her hand away.
Before he could stop himself, he caught her hand and pressed it against his cheek again, quietly holding it in place.
He closed his eyes, both out of shame and out of a need to stop looking at her, to stop her from somehow reading his eyes and learning of his thoughts, of the new secrets he had to keep guarded closely lest they bring him his final destruction.
That she was the only one he could see. The only one he could think of. The only one he had ever wanted.
He didn’t know what it meant to want another person. He barely even understood what exactly he wanted from her or how he wanted her, how he needed her.
But he did know that the last thing he wanted was for her to pull away.
Shinobu fought against every urge to lean her forehead against his, to listen to his heartbeat and breathe in his scent just as she had the night before. She wished he didn’t close his eyes so that she could fall into them once more, so she could lose herself completely in their starry depths and search for a sign that maybe, just maybe, he felt something for her, regardless of how small and seemingly meaningless.
She had already given him her heart: she just prayed to the heavens that she could have the privilege of holding his too.
Two days later, Shinobu quietly leaned against the porch railing with her arms wrapped around her, smiling faintly as she watched the villagers put up the final decorations for the festival that would finally take place tomorrow.
Just over two weeks had passed since their arrival. It sounded like such a short and trivial period of time, one where nothing of note could possibly happen and yet somehow, everything had happened.
In the span of two weeks, she had learned how to trust someone again, had confided in someone other than her sisters for the very first time, had been completely transformed, and had her heart had turned inside-out, leaving her no room to breathe unless she was near him.
Giyuu’s arm brushed against hers as he leaned on the railing beside her, making a small burst of heat flow through her body. How ridiculous— she could barely stand next to him without her heart roaring in her ears, asking her why she couldn’t inch just the slightest bit closer.
“It’s finally coming to fruition,” she said.
He nodded. “It’ll be time to go soon.”
He was ever the realist. Her chest ached at the thought of leaving such a quiet place and returning to the cold stones of the castle. “Yes, I suppose so.”
An awkward silence loomed between them, making her wonder why she thought small talk was the best course of action in the first place.
“Have you ever seen fireworks?” she finally asked. “I believe they’ll be lighting some tomorrow night.”
His expression softened a bit and he almost smiled. “Once. When I was a child, with my family.”
She smiled, part of her because she was happy that he was willing to remember such things with her and the other part at the thought of a little Giyuu staring up at the night sky in wonder, holding tightly onto his sister’s hand.
“You must have been very cute back then,” she teased. “What happened to you?”
He scoffed. “That doesn’t worry me.”
“I know, I know, I’m only teasing. Besides, I know there’s plenty of girls in this village that find you quite attractive.”
Especially me.
“Are you one of them?
What–
Shinobu momentarily lost control of her mind as she struggled to come up with an answer that wouldn’t reveal that yes, she found him incredibly attractive but wouldn't dare say it to preserve what little bit of pride she had left.
She looked him up and down. “I suppose you have some of your… finer attributes. I don’t find you unattractive, far from it really. In fact, I would say that you’re conventionally attractive— not that I’m calling you handsome, Tomioka-san, as I would hate for such a compliment to go to your head. A woman would have to be blind to not find you at least the slightest bit appealing, especially with those eyes of yours and— oh, what am I saying?”
Shinobu smacked her forehead and hid her face in her hand. Why didn’t her brain stop her mouth after the first sentence? She all but completely revealed herself to him!
She cleared her throat in an attempt to regain composure. “So. There is your answer.”
When she finally mustered up the courage to look at him again he was, thankfully, facing away. Well, if she was going to embarrass herself, he may as well do the same.
“What about me. Tomioka-san?” she asked, doing her best to sound playful. “Do you find me attractive?”
She regretted the question instantly. What if he didn’t? If the answer was no, it was as good as a rejection: proof that he didn’t feel the same for her that she felt for him. It could very well break her heart.
Oh, Shinobu, you’ve left your brain in bed today, she scolded, but just before she could tell him to forget about her odd question, he decided to speak.
“I… I think you’re beautiful, Princess.”
Her heart stopped.
She had thought that she had heard him say it just after styling her hair, but when he’d so vehemently denied it, she simply assumed her mind had played a cruel trick on her. After all, how could he possibly say such a thing?
But that was exactly what he thought of her.
Beautiful. Not pretty, as most people said, or cute when compared to Kanae. Beautiful.
Finally, his eyes returned to her and she knew that it was no joke, not that he was the type to joke about such things (or at all). His eyes were fixed on her, intense and unwavering, completely serious.
Suddenly, her eyes darted downwards to the shape of his lips and she realized that it would be terribly easy to just lean in and…
“Ow!” a voice yelped behind them, breaking the moment.
Shinobu reluctantly turned away from Giyuu and found Mitsuri, who rushed over to set a dish carrying a perfectly round pie on the railing.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt but the plate burned my hand!” she worried, blowing on her reddened fingertips.
Shinobu still stood in shock over what she had almost done and when she finally snapped out of her daze, she wanted nothing more than to disappear. No matter how much she wanted him, yearned for him, loved him, she wouldn’t do anything about it unless she was certain he felt something for her too.
“I’ll be heading upstairs now, actually,” Shinobu said, plastering a cheerful smile on her face. “I want to be fully rested for tomorrow, after all!”
“Of course!” Mitsuri encouraged. “Go ahead. We’ll save you a slice for breakfast!”
Shinobu turned and headed back inside.
Your move, Tomioka.
Giyuu remained outside with Mitsuri, who cut him a slice of apple pie.
“I love watching two people in love, don’t you?” she asked, smiling to herself as she brought her fork to her mouth. “It’s so heartwarming.”
He took a silent bite. “She isn’t in love with me.”
Mitsuri laughed. “But you don’t deny that you’re in love with her.”
He sighed at how quickly she’d tricked him. “I don’t know what I feel for her.”
He didn’t even know why he was talking to Mitsuri about this in the first place. Maybe it was because she’d already figured him out long ago, before he had even realized what was happening to him.
“Yes, you do. You just don’t want to say what it is yet and that’s okay. Stories like that always end the happiest. I just adore them.”
“This isn’t a story. She doesn’t love me.”
Mitsuri took a big bite of her pie and shook her head. “You’re so clueless! It’s endearing,” she said with her mouth full. “I saw you two the other morning, curled up in each other’s arms. It’s like your bodies were made for one another. So romantic!”
Giyuu sighed. Even on the off chance that she did feel something for him, she deserved to have more and was more than capable of finding better.
“How do you deserve someone who deserves the world?” he thought aloud.
Mitsuri only smiled knowingly. “How do you know she doesn’t see you as her world?”
How could she?
He shook his head. He would have to be foolish to believe in that idea. That was the kind of thought lovesick poets had. Thinking that way would only lead to heartbreak.
“You know, you remind me of someone. He didn’t think he was worthy of love either, but he was. He really was. He’s the one getting married tomorrow!” Mitsuri said happily. “It’s a really lovely story, probably my favourite! But anyway, my point is that if she loves you, she already sees you as someone worthy, so you don’t need to worry about stuff like that. Just make sure you show her how much you want her too.”
She elbowed him playfully, nudging his arm. “You know, the festival gets really, really romantic, so tomorrow would be a good time!”
He stared off at a random spot in the distance, lost in the ongoing waves of his thoughts. He shrugged, making Mitsuri laugh.
“You two are hopeless,” she sighed. “I admire that you even made it this so far. You’re both so stubborn!”
She looked at him solemnly, her expression turning serious. “You know how you feel, so stop denying it. Don’t leave her waiting too long.”
The next day, early in the morning, the town had completed its transformation.
Paper lanterns were strung from lamppost to lamppost, many of them in their traditional bubbly shape with some others cut into stars and crescent moons, all in varying shades of blue and silver. They lined the path to the town square, which had gone from a simple cobblestone area with a fountain at its centre to a decorated stage for the evening's events. Large painted boards and canvases stretched along its perimeter, all of them depicting lavish backgrounds of lush gardens, flowering fields, and grey seas of clouds.
At the head of the square was a floral arch, sapphire blue ribbons twisted around the wood alongside moonflowers, which would open and bloom later on in the day. A baby blue carpet ran up to it, surrounded by white wooden chairs that would eventually be removed to make way for tables and a dance floor— all the decorations needed for a festival and the wedding hosted along with it.
The inn, just like all the other businesses near the square, was enveloped in a hyper scramble to get things prepared, with many villagers arriving early in the morning to seize the kitchen to prepare enough dishes for the rest of the town. As a result, Shinobu and Giyuu were forced to eat their breakfasts in their room after she'd begged the cooks for some bread or a plate of eggs, anything they were willing to part with.
When Mitsuri finally appeared in the inn, the frenzy only seemed to grow worse, though she only laughed it off. Shinobu had been prepared to lose her to the kitchen, only for her to pull Shinobu by the hand and drag her away.
"Where are we going?" Shinobu yelled over the chaos, looking disappointedly back at Giyuu as she was ripped away from him.
"I want your help!" Mitsuri shouted in reply before leading Shinobu away from the chaos and into the seamstress' shop, where a group of girls around their age stood in a protective barrier to prevent anyone from entering.
It was rather difficult to miss the ivory dress hanging in the shop, finely decorated in white beads and lace that could easily let it stand next to many of Shinobu's own royal gowns despite not costing nearly as much. It was a wedding dress— something she hadn't seen in a very long time.
Part of her swelled up in familiar anguish, recalling a time when Kanae had eagerly been working with the seamstresses to plan her dress, even before she had officially been proposed to. She had been terribly excited to don a white gown of her own. The other part of Shinobu was filled with anxiety, fearful of the day she'd be forced into a dress just like this one and all but dragged down the aisle.
And a tiny part of her deep, deep down had softened as it began to wonder if she'd be able to willingly wear such a dress and happily give herself to another someday. That part still believed in her happy ending.
Ocean blue eyes and dark hair drifted through her mind.
...Perhaps not as unattainable as she once thought, but to think such things would be naïve.
"–so will you do it?" Mitsuri asked.
"Hmm?" Shinobu replied.
Mitsuri's cheeks turned pinker as she began swaying a bit. "Will you help me get ready for my wedding?"
Shinobu began to sputter her words.
"Oh, I guess I never mentioned it before today!” Mitsuri said amidst her fit of giggles. “Oops! Oh, but I love surprises don't you?"
"Once, a very, very long time ago, the lunar goddess met a mortal man under the rare glow of her blue moon. Taken by his kind and radiant eyes, she began watching over him."
A young woman in a long silver dress and flowing obsidian hair sat in a fake tree, playing the role of the goddess as she looked down at a young man. The play, which would introduce the festival and lead in to the wedding, had finally begun, Shinobu and Giyuu eagerly watching along with the other villagers.
"She followed him nearly every night for several months, completely entranced in a way she had never been before and never thought possible. She had been lonely for many years and never saw anyone as a worthy companion until now, in this mortal. Gradually, she fell in love with him."
The goddess trailed behind the man across several backdrops, avoiding being seen until finally, the man turned around.
"She carried on, hidden in the shadows of the night until the next blue moon. On that fateful night, the man was finally able to see her and was captured by her beauty and grace. That night, they spoke to one another about their lives and their dreams, their wishes and their fears. By the end of it all, the man was enamoured with her."
The goddess and the man held onto each other's hands tightly and pressed their foreheads together.
Shinobu glanced down at Giyuu's hand, which sat just next to her leg.
"She returned on the eve of every full moon thereafter, when her power was strongest. As the years passed by, they fell more and more in love with another. During each and every full moon, the man eagerly waited for her in the field where they first met. Even as he grew older, the goddess' love never wavered— it remained strong, just like the light of the moon. Although the goddess was very different from him and could not possibly understand all his woes, she remained loyal and dedicated to him until the final night of his life, when he drifted off to the heavens under the same light of the blue moon that had brought her to him, wrapped in her arms."
The man lay his head in the goddess' lap and closed his eyes. As she ran her hand through his hair, his breathing grew slower until it appeared to stop completely.
She bent over his body, hiding her face in order to weep.
"Although they were never married, the goddess made a vow to him. She exchanged her powers and dominion over the moon in order to return to him as nothing more than a mere mortal so they would be able to love and live together in freedom, side by side until the end of their days. They are said to reunite every century to swear their love once more under the glow of the blue moon."
The goddess and the man joined hands and disappeared behind two different backdrops.
Mitsuri emerged from behind one of them, making the audience gasp as they awed over her in her gown. Her groom appeared from the backdrop opposite her, his black hair falling over his eyes and covering the tips of his pink cheeks.
"Tonight, we are gathered to honour and celebrate the reunion of the goddess and her beloved mortal through a beautiful loving couple of our own. May they exchange their vows and live their lives harmoniously with the same undying love their predecessors shared."
The ceremony was done seamlessly, with the exception of Mitsuri's overflowing tears of joy as her groom said his vows, resulting in a huge bear hug before the minister could finish. The sight brought a smile to Shinobu's face.
Before coming here, she didn't think it was possible to love someone so much that you willingly pledged yourself to them for the rest of your life, or that you could wake up next to them every morning and smile each time, that you could hear their voice all day and never tire of it, that no matter how well you knew each other both inside and out, you were still willing to explore deeper and still feel like every age-old sensation was brand new.
Mitsuri's eyes shone blindingly bright as she looked at her groom.
Biting the inside of her cheek, Shinobu carefully looked at Giyuu.
To wake up wrapped in the waves of those blue eyes, to always be held in his protective embrace, to hear his humming in her ear.
Oh, she'd become such a silly little sap for him. The old Shinobu would laugh like mad if she saw her now.
But Kanae would be beyond proud.
"Dance with me!"
Shinobu said while standing on her tiptoes, doing her best to make herself ever-so-slightly taller so Giyuu wouldn’t have to bend down so much.
He looked off to the side, entertaining himself with the sight of a distant table and acting as though he hadn't heard her.
"I can make that an order if I must, you know," she teased, poking him in the arm.
He shook his head frantically and started heading back to his seat. “I’m not good at this.”
Shinobu grinned, then grabbed his arm and did her best to swing him back towards her.
“My, my, the great Tomioka-san not good at something? We’ll have to alert the entire kingdom!” she said, smiling and leaning in the tiniest bit closer. “You needn’t worry. You just need to look like you know what you’re doing. Besides, you’re nimble enough on your feet. You’ll be alright.”
She placed his hand on her waist and began slowly leading him one step at a time, gradually picking up the pace as the music continued around them. Eventually, by watching her and the villagers, he managed to take the lead, jumping and twirling her around as he had seen his sister do with her fiance.
Shinobu's giggles echoed through the lively town square as she spun, a wide smile on her face as her lilac skirt whirled around her, resembling the petals of the moonflowers as they'd finally bloomed.
"I knew you would pick up on it quickly!" she shouted over the music.
After a few songs, they took a break to catch their breaths, then returned to dance once more. He was surprised with himself but not at all surprised by her— he knew she was loving the cheerful atmosphere and energetic dances since they were likely a far cry from the stiff waltzes she was probably used to.
And as they moved across the floor under the yellow glow of the lanterns and the cool breeze, he felt her freedom, the one she so desperately craved whenever she made him chase her through the forest.
For now, he allowed himself to forget that he was her guard and that she was his princess. Instead, she was a beautiful village girl who had pulled him of all people into a dance, doing her best to make him pretend like his worries didn't exist, to make him feel as though she could pull him off the ground and into the sky where nothing could ever touch them again.
He watched her carefully, taking note of her wild violet eyes and messy dark hair, her pink cheeks and wide grin. When she closed her eyes in glee, he smiled.
Well, if anyone could drag him into the heavens, it would be her.
The intensity of the music slowly died down, many of the energetic couples from earlier taking their seats or returning home for the night, laughing and smiling the entire way there. Only a dozen were left on the dance floor, pressed against each other's chests and swaying slowly alongside the newlyweds.
He and Shinobu were at a table, her watching the remaining couples curiously and him watching her, like always.
Before he could wonder what she was thinking, she quickly stood up and grabbed his hand.
"Follow me," she said, her voice sounding strained and barely above a whisper. "I want to ask you something."
The lake was quiet when they arrived, the waves oddly silent as they reflected the blazing blue moon.
Shinobu's heart, on the other hand, roared in her ears.
Giyuu, who had followed her without question, stared at her curiously with hazy sapphire eyes, likely tired after how long they spent dancing. It would be good for both of them to get rest if her aching heels were any indication.
But she couldn't let this wait until tomorrow.
"I want you to answer me honestly," she stated clearly, facing him head-on. "No lies, no pleasantries, just the truth."
His tired eyes narrowed, but he nodded.
She took a deep breath but the storm in her stomach continued, almost making her feel nauseous. "The other night, you promised me you would stay by my side for as long as I needed you."
He made a surprised sound and the drowsiness faded away. "I didn't think you remembered that."
She swallowed the lump at the back of her throat and tried to calm her nervous shivering. "I didn't, at first. But that's not the point."
She took a step forward and held back the urge to press her hands over his heart to see if it was as frantic as hers was. Instead, she dug her nails into her palm.
"You promised me that, so…" She bit her lip, anything to distract her from the pounding in her chest. "What if I say that I'll need you forever? Would you stay that long?"
His eyes went wide and the blue became unreadable and unclear. For the first time in a while, she couldn't guess what he was thinking, though she didn't know if it was due to him carefully shielding his emotions or because of the hurricane raging through her mind.
Then suddenly, he knelt on the ground in front of her, sinking down to one knee and taking her small hand to press over his heart. His blue eyes never wavered, not once moving away from hers as he dared to look at her straight on.
“If that’s what you want, it’d be an honour to serve you for that long, Princess.”
She scoffed in frustration, feeling on the brink of tears. “You still don’t understand, do you?”
Shinobu shook her head incredulously and joined him on the ground. She pulled his hands towards her and brushed a gentle kiss over them, making him quietly gasp.
“I’m not asking that of you as your princess,” she said carefully, her eyes wide as she gazed at him. “I…”
Her soul shook within her. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all…
… But it was better to go down knowing she had tried, knowing that if they didn’t share anything beyond this, it was because he truly didn’t want her and not because he didn’t know how she felt. She wouldn’t be plagued by questions of what if.
She leaned forward, nearly pressing her forehead against his, leaving them only mere breaths away from each other.
The strong hand that held onto hers squeezed a little tighter.
He didn’t push her away.
“I want you,” she breathed out, the words finally slipping free without restraint. “I want to be yours if you’ll have me. If you want me.”
He said nothing. His face was too close for her to even try reading his expression.
“Please say something…” she pleaded.
A few more beats of silence passed between them before he spoke, his voice strained as though it pained him to get the words out.
“I’m your guard. We’re not supposed to…”
Yet he inched the slightest bit closer.
She instinctively licked her lips in anticipation, then pressed her hands against his chest.
“Don’t worry about that. You can be selfish with me,” she whispered. “I want you to be.”
The sea of blue turned dark as his eyes became filled by something.
“I won’t break. You know I’m stronger than that,” she said.
Their breaths mingled together, heavy as they panted for air despite barely moving at all.
“I… I love you,” she finally said, all the air in her lungs suddenly disappearing. “Giyuu…”
Finally, like a taut chord being stretched too far, he snapped.
Their lips met in a fierce clash, fevered as they moved together like two fighters in battle, all the emotions they had both tried so hard to ignore for so long finally culminating in a passionate kiss. Shinobu’s hands held strongly onto his shoulders for stability as she practically moved into his lap in an attempt to bring herself closer, almost pressing into him. His hands settled on her waist, holding her tightly with a strength that only their owner could possess.
Their movements were clumsy and imperfect, unfamiliar due to a complete lack of experience on both their parts, but it was everything she could have ever hoped for.
When they reluctantly pulled away for air, she fixed her eyes on his blushing cheeks and darkened irises, his chest heaving beneath her palms.
He removed a hand from her waist to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her bottom lip as he stared at her in amazement.
Their next kiss was far softer: a simple pressing of her lips against his followed by another and another…
He didn’t explicitly say that he loved her, but there no longer existed a single doubt in her mind that he did. She knew it well without him needing to say a single word.
She felt it in the strong grip he had on her waist, in the gentle way he’d touched her face, in the urgent pressing of their bodies, in the wonder his eyes were filled with as he gazed at her.
The fact that he had kissed her in the first place, something he would never dare do if he didn’t feel the same way, regardless of how many times she could have asked him to.
No, he didn’t need to say a word. He held her heart in the palms of his scarred hands.
Just as she knew she held his.
The blue moon smiled down on them, but they were too enraptured by each other to notice.
Notes:
Sorry for the delay, I had /major/ writing block while writing this one after Christmas. Thank you not only for reading and leaving kudos but also for your amazing reviews. They always make me super happy and give me the motivation to keep going! Thank you!!
Chapter Text
There was something romantic about watching someone you cared for sleep. That was what she realized now while lying in the warm glow of the morning sun, snuggled against Giyuu’s side as he breathed gently, still blissfully asleep.
Shinobu smiled to herself and brushed her finger against her lips, which he had touched so carefully, so passionately the night before. Lightning currents ran across her mouth— yes, if she closed her eyes, she could imagine the kiss clearly as though he was still doing it, indulging her and devouring her as she had wanted him to do. As she would gladly let him do, as though she were a silly little village girl who had fallen in love for the first time and not a toughened princess expected to run her country someday.
Oh, how easily, how quickly she had forgotten that she was a princess. The town and beautiful boy next to her had put her under a spell that had made her forget everything: her fight with her father, his threat of her impending arranged marriage, the fact that she was missing or as good as dead to the rest of the kingdom and her own family, while she lived out a fairytale existence here that Kanae would have envied.
It was a dream come true, but the pang of guilt in her chest that had laid dormant for so long poked and prodded at her. Your father and Kanao must be worried sick! You have a kingdom to run, you know! That won’t change simply because you don’t want to. When will you learn that you don’t have a choice in the matter?
Shinobu buried her face into the chest next to her, rubbing her forehead against his shirt to rid herself of her annoying thoughts and the nagging voice of her subconscious. She still had time here, she didn’t have to go yet, she still had a chance—
A sleepy voice grumbled above her before an arm wrapped around her shoulder, pulling her close.
She sighed in relief. She still had today. Perhaps even tomorrow.
“Good morning, Sleepyhead.”
Giyuu mumbled something incoherent, making her giggle.
“How cute,” she said before sitting up and lying against his chest, her stomach lightly pressing against his.
His eyes went wide— clear as an evening sky— before blinking slowly at her, as though he had forgotten that she was here. She wrapped her arms around his neck and climbed up his body, resting her head against his neck.
“It wasn’t a dream…” he whispered to himself as though trying to convince himself of something he wasn’t sure was true.
She smiled blissfully. “It wasn’t. I’m here.”
Shinobu slid off him and fell onto the bed beside him. She sank her head deeper into the pillow, her fingers tracing circles over his cotton shirt. “Do you regret it?” she asked.
He shuddered through a sigh. “No…” he said so quietly that she nearly missed it.
She shifted closer, perching her chin against his shoulder and nuzzling him affectionately. “Do you still want me?”
He nodded quickly yet stiffly, as though it hurt him to do so, as though he was still fighting against it with every muscle in his body.
“I want you too,” she whispered soothingly, yet firmly so he could know just how much she meant it— that this wasn’t simply a game for her and that she would have never pursued him out of fun or curiosity, that she had fallen for him as deeply as she hoped he’d fallen for her.
“I can imagine the thoughts running through that head of yours, Tomioka-san. ‘This is forbidden!’ or some twisted idea that you’re ‘unworthy’ of me. Or both, not that the latter is true at all. I’m not an angel, you know, though I'm sure you're well aware of that.”
She draped herself over him and turned her face towards his, making a small noise of surprise escape him. She leaned in closely, stopping just short of his lips.
“If you truly don’t want to pursue this any further,” she said breathlessly, “then push me away now. If that kiss truly was… an impulsive act, then tell me now. I won’t punish you for it.”
She leaned her forehead against his and breathed him in. “But if it wasn’t a mistake then show me. I don’t care if our stations are different, I don’t care if we’re not allowed to do this. After all, I’ve never cared about such trivial things before, have I?”
He squeezed his eyes shut.
“I refuse to be your princess here,” she continued. “And I won’t make the first move.”
She closed her eyes, waiting for him to peel her off him, to push her off to the side and dismiss their kiss as nothing but a mistake. Instead, a gentle pair of lips hesitantly and gently pressed against hers.
She breathed in sharply out of shock, her eyes flying open to see his focused face before she readily responded to him, sliding her left hand against his cheek.
His strong hands found her wrists and flipped them over, her with her back on the bed and him leaning over her, just as he had when he’d pulled her out of the lake— the day she realized just how much her body craved him.
Above her, his blue eyes burned like fiery beacons, their rich shade turning darker and darker as he gazed down at her. His hands held her wrists, strong and protective but never painful.
She panted for air as she looked up at him with wide, glassy eyes of her own. If her wrists weren’t caught in his grip, she would have cupped his cheek and simply gazed at him.
With his dark hair flowing down, framing the warm skin of his face and the flaming sapphire of his eyes, he looked like a prince taken from the books she had read as a child. The prince of the moon, she decided.
He released one of her wrists to brush a stubborn lock of hair out of her face, his touch terribly tender against her skin. He narrowed his eyes at her as though she was a puzzle he couldn’t quite figure out, one that had stumped him for years. It made her proud that he kept on wondering, but at the same time, she wanted to shake him and say that he knew her best.
What are you? Giyuu asked himself as he stared down at her beautiful form splayed out on the bed, her dark hair spread across the pillow beneath her, her lashes blinking up at him, and her lips parted. How can you make me feel this way?
“Giyuu…” she whispered, making his heart stop. “Will you… kiss me again?”
A bright pink blush coated her cheeks as she shifted her eyes away in embarrassment.
He bent down to her lips.
How could he say 'no' to her?
Shinobu swung her legs back and forth as she sat on the branch, watching him climb the final stretch of the tree before reaching her.
They had set out earlier that afternoon with a basket of festival leftovers they had managed to find in the kitchen. They had intended a simple picnic in the forest, but when Shinobu laid eyes on a particularly tall oak that dominated the edge of the meadow they sat in, she couldn’t help herself.
“Let’s make a bet!” she announced, staring at the trunk of the tree as it stretched upward. “The first one to reach the top will be owed a favour by the other.”
“What kind of favour?” Giyuu asked.
“Anything! That’s the fun of it— it can be as ridiculous or serious as you want, and redeemable at any time.”
He followed her gaze to the top. “I don’t want you to have to owe me a favour.”
She scoffed, rolling her sleeves up to her elbows. “Confident, aren’t we, Tomioka-san? Have you learned nothing from our time together?”
Unsurprisingly for her, she beat him to the top, though she commended him for never straying too far behind.
By the time he reached her, joining her on the thick, sturdy branch, her attention was already elsewhere, focused coldly on the distance. Giyuu followed her line of sight through the twisting branches and green leaves until he finally saw what she did: the bridge, or more importantly, the men crowded around it.
Her stare was fixed on the wooden boards as they moved between the men. She bit the inside of her cheek, likely holding back a shout or order for them to stop, her small body almost wincing every time a hammer nailed the boards together. She didn’t want to return, but he didn’t need to look at her to know that.
Had it been earlier in the trip, he wouldn’t have hesitated. He would have thrown her over his shoulder and carried her across that bridge with her kicking, screaming, pounding her fists against his back. He would have brought her back to her privileged life of luxuries, would have chased her through the woods again if he had needed to, would have said and done nothing when she was eventually pushed down the aisle.
And she would have been his princess. Nothing more, nothing less.
His duty.
But with her little fingers wrapped around his much larger hand, the tips of them cool where they touched his skin and shaking slightly, and the flutter of her dark lashes as they hid her blazing violet eyes, always so full of life, always so full of passion— he couldn’t act coldly for the sake of duty anymore. He could barely even think of his duty anymore, the disappointed voices of the other knights after they’d lost to him and the angry barking of his captain as he stated what Giyuu’s new duties would be rendered distant echoes in his mind as he gazed at her.
He had always protected her— that was his task, that was why he was here. Even before anything had happened between them, he would have died before he let harm come to her, not because he felt an attachment to her but because he was being trusted to do just that for the sake of their country— and because he had promised himself to protect whoever came his way. To never allow anyone to die in front of him ever again.
When Giyuu had knelt before her father, the king, and recited the knights’ vow of protection with his hand over his heart and a sword above his head, he had sworn to guard the princess with his life.
Last night, when he had knelt before her under the glow of the moon, he had sworn to stay by his princess’ side.
Now, as he watched her carefully, taking note of the way the breeze drifted through her dark hair and the movement of her eyes, he swore to protect Shinobu for as long as he could by any means necessary.
He could still feel the shape of her lips against his.
“Let’s stay longer after the bridge is done. For an extra day or two,” he said calmly.
Shinobu’s head darted in his direction, her bright eyes wide as they stared at him in suspicion and surprise.
“Do you mean that?” she asked.
He nodded once. “Unless you would rather not…”
She burst into a wide smile and threw her arms around him. “Don't tease me like that, that's my job.”
He held on tight to the branch beneath them, carefully trying to steady himself under her weight so they wouldn’t both fall.
“Thank you,” she whispered softly against his neck.
Yes, she was tiny, occasionally moody, and terribly strong-willed. She scared him more than any of the soldiers he had to fight to get to her and to this moment in the forest where her breath floated across his neck and her hair tickled his skin— to get to this girl, whose voice had an odd way of soothing him, of sounding like gentle music even when she was furious and wanted nothing more than to destroy her surroundings with her words alone, this girl who had bared her entire heart to him, who told him everything about herself and asked him to kiss her, who had learned of his ghosts and looked at him in… in a way he’d never seen before. He wondered when she’d gone from being a princess to a girl, normal in every way, extraordinary to him.
Giyuu looked over her shoulder at the bridge and, when he was sure she couldn’t see him, smiled softly. Her joy was rather infectious.
“Is this the favour I won for reaching the top first?” she asked.
“No. You can save that.”
She hummed happily. “How kind of you. I’ll be sure to use it wisely.”
“Lie down,” Shinobu whispered before pulling Giyuu’s arm after lunch, an idea clearly having formed in her head while she dined on a stolen slice of cake. She settled his head in her lap before he could object, shushing him like a mother calming her child.
Then slowly, hesitantly at first, she began running her small fingers through his hair. Her movements felt tense, almost awkward as though she was incredibly unsure of how he was going to react. When he didn’t complain, she grew more relaxed, his dark strands falling through her fingers like softly rolling waves.
Underneath her touch, he shivered, the hair on the rest of his body rising as goosebumps made their way onto his skin. Every nerve along his head was roaring with life, every touch from her making him feel almost unbearably sensitive. He couldn’t stop his eyes from fluttering shut at the contact, not to sleep but to give himself completely over to her touch, to avoid his senses from taking in anything beyond her.
He instinctively began nuzzling into her, the movement familiar from a time long ago when his mother sat with him in front of the fire and did the same thing, curling her rough, but warm hands through the black locks that resembled hers until he inevitably fell asleep, after which his father would carry him to bed.
Giyuu opened his eyes halfway, staring up at Shinobu as she leaned over him, dark hair falling around her face like a curtain, leaving her violet eyes in shadow. She looked at him intently, a small smile gracing her face.
“When was the last time you truly relaxed, hmm?” she asked. “Perhaps I should simply leave you to nap in the forest for a while. I think it would do you some good.”
She began pulling away and before he could stop himself, he took hold of her wrist as it left his hair, leading her hand back to his head.
She giggled. “You’re like a child! It’s absolutely adorable.”
He narrowed his eyes at her, but it only made her laugh more.
“I should braid your hair,” she said, gliding her fingers back through it. “Or weave flowers through it. I think it would make you look beautiful, wouldn’t you say?”
He shook his head, not noticing the way his nose twitched like a rabbit’s.
“You don’t want to look pretty?” she teased, stretching the final word. “I personally think daisies would look lovely in your hair.”
“I don’t want you to get up,” he admitted, nudging himself closer with a deep sigh. “You’re comfortable.”
She laughed again. “Bold words from someone I had to pull down here. Unfortunately for you, my legs are beginning to feel incredibly numb, so you’ll need to provide payment if you wish to continue using my service.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “Okay.”
Giyuu sat up and left a small kiss on her lips, choosing to allow his impulse to temporarily take over to give her what they both wanted. The action felt foreign to him, but he didn’t dislike it… no, he didn’t dislike it at all.
She stared at him, eyes gaping as he lay back down in her lap.
“Who are you and what have you done with Tomioka?” she asked, her cheeks turning as pink as cherry blossoms.
His impulse asked him to kiss her again, but he held back.
…Only for her to lean over him, shielding their faces from the wilderness with the curtain of her hair, brushing her cheek against his.
“Two can play this game, Tomioka.”
Before he could ask her what she meant, her lips had already found his with no intention of stopping until the blue sky turned into warm shades of orange.
Shinobu clung to his back like a small bear as he carried her back to the village, swaying her legs and laughing playfully. She had ordered him to carry her this way, insisting that she deserved nothing less, especially after being "so generous" by helping him rest. They had drawn a few stares from the villagers, only to be brushed off as nothing more than a young couple in love.
In love…
It certainly wasn’t something Giyuu had ever anticipated, not now, not ever. He had never thought about falling in love, never spent days dreaming of a beautiful girl or hours writing letters or poetry to one as the other knights did, never even thought about doing such a thing.
Now he had the most beautiful girl giggling on his back, whispering prettily in his ear, sneaking occasional kisses to his cheek as though it were nothing.
“You’re different when you’re happy,” he said without really thinking.
“Am I?” she laughed. “Well… I suppose that’s because I’ve forgotten all the things I should be worrying about. That, and I have a strong and… handsome … man ensuring I don’t get myself into too much trouble.”
“I thought you said I wasn’t attractive.”
“Well, I… I didn’t say that!” she sputtered. “I simply said you weren’t unattractive, that’s all. See, I knew such a compliment would go to your head!”
Her words hadn’t gone to his head, but she definitely had, consuming every thought until the only thing he could see was her.
It wasn’t until she lay snuggly in bed, her eyes closed as she drifted off to sleep that reality began to creep up on him, winding its sharp hands around his neck like a noose.
This couldn’t last forever. They couldn’t last forever, living and laughing in this town in complete denial of what tomorrow would bring.
Of what tomorrow promised to bring.
Even if they didn’t reach the end tomorrow, or the day after, or the week after, they would surely reach it eventually. The end wouldn’t be kind to them, wouldn’t spare them a second glance before thrusting them back into their former lives. She would return to her world of luxury and he would return to being her shadow, silently following her around the cold castle.
But things had changed between them, had grown and expanded in a way neither of them thought possible when they reluctantly met those months ago. They had changed, though he remained unsure of whether it was for the better or the worse.
Giyuu turned to Shinobu's sleeping form, kneeling beside the bed to get a closer look at her in all her glory.
No matter what happened to them, he didn’t regret what transpired here. He didn’t regret letting her into his mind or his heart, didn’t regret allowing her to spread her warmth throughout him. He was completely devoted to her— as a knight, as a friend, or as a lover, whatever she wanted him to be.
He brushed his lips against her forehead.
“Shinobu,” he said, whispering her name like a prayer.
A prayer for them. A prayer for protection from whatever tomorrow would bring. A prayer for her to be able to hold onto her happiness for just a little longer.
And a prayer for him to have the chance to hold her for one more day before reality set in. One more day for him to fool himself by calling himself hers.
He leaned his head into the expanse of empty mattress beside her.
“Come here…” she murmured sleepily, weakly tugging on his shirt. “Let me hold you.”
He climbed into the bed and she quickly turned towards his side, wrapping her arms around him as best she could.
One more day, he prayed as his heart blossomed beneath her touch. Gods above, give me one more day.
“‘Let’s run away together,’” Shinobu said proudly as she sat in the grass, weaving wildflowers together. “That’s what I wish I could say.”
The corners of his mouth stretched ever-so-slightly upwards at the thought. If only it were that simple. If only they were different. If only.
“It hasn’t been that long,” Giyuu said instead. “Only a little while.” 'Since we became something,' he didn't say but knew she understood.
“A ‘little while’ that feels like a lifetime and a rather good one, I might add. It’s wonderful to live without worrying about the next fitting or ball or meeting. Hand me another flower.”
He passed her a flower from her pile, a bright yellow one. “Normal people don’t live without worries. They work too.”
She sighed. “I’m well aware of that, but they have the freedom to work wherever they like. To go wherever they like and do whatever they like with whomever they like. There’s beauty in that, despite the hard work involved. Or perhaps due to the hard work involved.”
She began humming to herself and he took the opportunity to stare up at the sky, at the sun currently being blocked out by the winding branches of the old trees that surrounded them. The sky was a bright and clear blue with only hints of white clouds dotted throughout it: a seemingly perfect summer day. Around them, birds sang and cicadas buzzed, almost fooling him into thinking that this truly was their life— the two of them alone in the woods, surrounded by the beauty of nature without a care in the world.
“What did your family do for work?” Shinobu asked, breaking the silence. “If you don’t mind my asking.”
Giyuu thought to himself for a moment, digging through the memories he hadn’t allowed himself to think about for quite a long time: memories of his father’s worn hands and joyful smile even after long and harrowing days at work, of his mother’s pricked skin and kind eyes as she looked upon him and his sister with all the love in the world, of Tsutako’s watchful gaze as she sewed alongside their mother, carefully mimicking the movements of her hands to the best of her ability.
If he thought for long enough, he could bring himself back there, to their small but warm home, not only due to the fire that always burned steadily in the hearth but also due to the constant joy that existed among them even on the most difficult of days.
He still didn’t dare to stray too far in the depths of his memories. He still wasn’t ready for such a thing, his heart clenching at the mere thought of it. But he allowed himself to remember— a luxury he hadn’t offered himself until now.
“...My father was a blacksmith,” he finally said. “My mother was a seamstress. Tsutako was learning to be one too.”
“Would you have followed his path as well?” she asked. He could hear her smile in her voice.
“Probably. It interested me.”
She laughed to herself. “I suppose that means I would need to improve my sewing. I learned how to, but I’ve never been very good.”
“But you can stitch.”
“Humans, Tomioka. Not fabric. But I suppose I could learn. Flower?”
He handed her another wildflower.
“Thank you. You said you were from a small village in the North, correct? What was it like? I have yet to pay a visit there.”
He barely remembered telling her that, the moment feeling as though it were a lifetime ago.
“Cold. Very cold.”
She giggled, competing against the songbirds for the title of the most beautiful sound. “You’ve such a way with words. Cold all year or only in the winter?”
“Cool in the summer. Very cold in the winter.”
“I suppose we would have to huddle for warmth in front of the fire in the winter. I can imagine you running through the snow as a child, trying to build something from it or eat the snowflakes. You must have been adorable. Whatever happened to you?”
He scoffed but didn’t forget her initial comment. We.
“You wouldn’t be able to handle it,” he said nonchalantly.
This time she scoffed, flicking him lightly on the forehead. “You underestimate me! I can handle anything perfectly fine, Tomioka, even the elements. I would learn how to knit myself a fine, wool shawl and hat to keep myself warm. Perhaps I would even make one for you if you behaved yourself.”
“You’re kind,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief.
If he closed his eyes, he knew he would be able to picture the scene clearly: Shinobu buried in a bundle of blankets in front of the fire, doing her best to sew something and constantly swearing as she pricked herself, scolding herself all the while and greeting him with a pout as he walked through the door with another bundle of wood.
He knew what she was doing. She was imagining, daydreaming about what their life would be like if they were normal and not in their current predicament. She had realized that this, whatever it was, would soon be forced to face reality. She, too, had realized that it couldn’t last forever.
So he allowed her to pretend, allowed himself to fantasize alongside her.
It was a beautiful dream.
“All done!” she said.
He sat up and looked towards her as she held her hands outstretched in front of her, the crown of flowers she had been weaving finally finished. Before he could say a word, she placed it on his head.
“I knew daisies would look lovely on you,” she said proudly, admiring her handiwork. “I should have you wear more white.”
He didn’t have the heart to break her daydream. Not when it made him as happy as it made her.
“You should,” he said instead, taking in her gentle smile and ignoring the concealed anguish in her eyes.
Earlier that afternoon, they had received word that the bridge would be finished in just a few days. They were assured that no more than three days separated them from their home, wherever it was.
He had whisked her away to the forest in an effort to help her forget, to get her mind off the news, but the sadness that lingered behind her eyes was still apparent if he looked close enough. He wanted to assure her that everything would turn out alright, that they would find a solution and be able to continue on as they were now.
He kissed her rosy cheek as a silent apology for not being able to lie to her, not even about this.
It was another beautiful summer day with a clear blue sky and a smattering of white clouds, birds flying through the town searching for fallen breadcrumbs, villagers laughing amongst themselves as they wiped the sweat from their brows and enjoyed glasses of lemonade, children chasing one another with long twigs or flying colourful paper kites. Couples of all ages who weren't preoccupied with working were taking walks around town, including Mitsuri and her new husband, who had both spent the last few days preparing for their short honeymoon. The constant sound of hooves against the cobblestone permeated throughout the town as people returned from their long journeys abroad, cheerful shouts and laughter following suit as they reunited with their loved ones. The bridge had finally been repaired and the stranded visitors were preparing to go while other townsfolk eagerly awaited the returns of their friends and family.
“Look over there!”
“Who are they?”
“Hey, isn’t that the—”
Giyuu’s ears perked up at the sounds of protest and surprise coming from the villagers, whose attentions were captured by a sudden group of odd newcomers, the sight making his heart stop in his chest.
'Odd' to the villagers of such a serene town; all too familiar to Giyuu, who recognized their tall black boots, crimson capes, pointed swords and engraved shields.
Shields engraved with the royal crest.
Giyuu scrambled to his feet and ran back into the inn, climbing the stairs two at a time until he reached their shared room. Shinobu sat on the edge of the bed, carefully brushing her hair. She looked up as he came in and smiled, still blissfully unaware of the unwelcome visitors.
“What is it? Did you already miss me that much? How romantic, Tomioka.”
He took her hand, forcing her brush to fall harshly to the floor. He had to lead her away from here, that much he knew, but he hadn’t the slightest idea of where to take her, where to hide her so they wouldn’t find her so she could have just another day of genuine smiles.
“They’re here. The royal guards.”
Her violet eyes went wide. “You… that’s a very cruel joke, you know.”
He shook his head and tugged on her hand. “They’re here.”
Pain flitted across her eyes as she turned her head down. “Will you be taking me straight to them?”
He tightened his hold on her hand, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
“No. I’m hiding you.”
She looked at him in shock, hope filling her once barren eyes before it died away. Still, she nodded.
They both knew it was over. He couldn’t hide her forever— that much they both knew. He could buy them a day, two days, perhaps even a week more, but he couldn’t keep her hidden forever regardless of how much he wanted to. They still had duties that went beyond themselves.
It was something that he had to keep reminding himself, lest he somehow whisk her away forever.
Both Shinobu and Giyuu’s first instinct had been to go to the forest, to conceal themselves amongst the trees and race between them as they were now accustomed to doing, but there were too many guards crawling across the town for them to make it undetected, not to mention that the inn’s proximity to the town square where the Head Guard stood in wait made it impossible for them to even leave the building.
They intended to hide in the small room connected to theirs for as long as they were able, but when they heard the Head Guard order his men to search every room in every building, that plan was quickly changed. Instead, Giyuu rushed them down the stairs, into the kitchen, and down into the cellar where various jams and barrels were kept for preservation and storage.
Shinobu’s heart never stopped pounding all the while, even when she curled herself into Giyuu’s arms like a frightened child after a terrifying nightmare. She could barely control her breathing. They said nothing to each other, not a single word of comfort or expression of fear. The latter would only make her worse and the former would only be a lie.
The chest underneath her ear pounded alongside hers, though Giyuu did his best to maintain a cool composure for her sake, which she was grateful for.
Eventually, they heard the heavy pounding of boots as the guards entered the inn. Shinobu realized with a nervous giggle that it was surprising that they hadn’t checked the inn sooner. If it were her, it would have been the first place she looked.
Dust flowed down from the cracks in the floorboards above as the guards stomped across the first floor. In the distance, she heard the loud opening of doors and yells of surprise from the other guests as the guards interrogated them. It was as though a major storm had crashed through the town, shattering the calm peace that permeated throughout. It made her sick to her stomach, which grumbled in protest.
When the door to the cellar began rattling as someone pulled on it, Shinobu began to feel faint, all the blood and air rushing away from her head. Had Giyuu not already been holding her, she likely would have toppled to the floor. Still, the door stubbornly refused to open as though the cellar was granting them a few more minutes of peace before the storm finally reached them.
But it was too late for that. The storm had already arrived and with it, the illusion had already shattered.
Shinobu looked up at Giyuu, wrapping herself in the constant warm blue that awaited her. He gazed back at her and rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand affectionately, as though silently reassuring her that all would be well. Even if the promise was impossible, she felt inclined to believe him.
He gave her forehead a final kiss as the soldiers began pounding at the door with the hilts of their swords, then quickly pushed her away as the light from the kitchen streamed in.
When her hand was ripped away from his, all the warmth immediately fell away, filling her body with rigid ice as the guards entered the cramped room. They recognized her immediately, calling her title and scolding her as they pulled her upstairs and outside.
She couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, could barely move were it not for them all but dragging her through the streets. Her breath caught in her chest, the lump at the back of her throat preventing her from breathing normally, sweat coating the back of her neck. Her hands bunched into the coarse fabric of her skirt, wringing the material as she struggled to control herself, struggled to make herself appear normal and not on the verge of a tremendous breakdown as everything, her happiness, her peace, and her joy sunk behind her, the colours melting away from her world and restoring it back to its dull and uninspiring monochrome, leaving her with none of the beauty she had been fortunate enough to experience over the last few weeks, leaving her with nothing.
She turned back towards Giyuu for only a moment, allowing herself only a fleeting gaze to prevent the guards from assuming anything, not for her sake but for his.
That entrancing ocean blue consumed her and she allowed herself to drown in it, to cling to it as though it were the only thing that could keep her afloat as she drifted miserably among the treacherous waves.
Yet she knew that the emotion within those eyes that had comforted her so wasn’t one she had seen before. Gone was the gentle night sky that had brought her comfort, the placid lake that had brought her peace, the vivid fire that had promised her passion, the bright sea that brought her joy.
This time, she saw the sky just before a thunderstorm, pale and grey and lifeless.
She had seen panic in his eyes and, after that, had seen complete and utter defeat.
The ruse was over now and tomorrow promised a cruel and bitter re-awakening.
Notes:
Thanks for reading! We're starting to near the final chapters of our story, so where will things go from here...?
Chapter 10: Yes, Your Majesty
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Shinobu’s bed groaned as she plopped herself down on it, though she didn’t know if it was the weight of her body or the disgustingly heavy cloak the guards insisted she wear. They said it was to conceal her identity from the other villagers, but she found that rather pointless considering she had been in full view of them for several weeks. Whatever.
They had left the village immediately, not even allowing Shinobu the chance to say goodbye to Mitsuri or the children Shinobu had helped. Instead, she had been forced onto a horse to ride until the sky began to darken, prompting the group of guards to stop at an inn along the way for the night.
A guard stared at her from the doorway, never letting her out of sight.
“Am I a spectacle for your amusement now?” she asked angrily. “You’re welcome to look away from time to time, you know. If I’m still alive after three weeks abroad, I’m sure nothing will happen in an inn.”
The guard shook his head. “The King ordered for you to be watched at all times once you were found, Your Highness.”
“Of course he did,” she huffed, falling back on the bed. “We’ll be back by this time tomorrow, won’t we?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
She wanted to roll her eyes but decided not to waste the energy. “Am I at least permitted to attend to my private needs alone?”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
She got up from the bed and all but ripped the cloak off her shoulders. “Then may I?”
He sighed but led her outside anyway.
Truthfully, she had no need to attend to her “private needs” at the moment— all she wanted was a few minutes to herself.
The evening air was warm, almost humid as she stepped outside. Moths had already begun fluttering around the inn’s lanterns and grasshoppers could be heard within the forest, so close yet so far.
The guard stopped short of the inn’s corner. “You may attend to your needs just around this bend, Your Highness.”
“Thank you,” she sighed, happily turning the corner.
An unexpected sight had her heart racing, for just around the corner, was Giyuu.
She all but ran towards him, careful of the noise her steps made so as to not alert the guard.
Shinobu placed her hands against Giyuu’s chest, intending to embrace him, only for him to grab her wrists and peel her off him.
His hand wasn’t warm or gentle in the way it held her but cold and rigid, completely tense as he stared at her.
“That isn’t appropriate, Your Highness.”
She scoffed, pulling her hand away from him as though he’d burned her. “Only a few hours pass and suddenly you act as though nothing has changed between us?” she whispered angrily.
He swallowed stiffly and looked away. “I crossed a line with you, Your Highness. I’m sorry about that.”
“What’s gotten into you?”
“They reminded me of my duty to you as your guard. That's all,” he said, still refusing to look at her. His voice was tense, sounding as though he had practiced those words over and over until he’d gotten them right.
“Can you look me in the eye and say that?” she dared.
“Your Highness!” the guard called. “Are you almost finished?”
“Another minute or so!” she yelled in return, using the momentary distraction to cup Giyuu’s face and force it towards her.
Sure enough, his expression was as serious as the day they’d met, but his eyes…
His eyes, like always, betrayed him completely, their blue illuminated with a warm glow that only softened as they looked at her in what she could only describe as adoration.
“Liar,” she whispered before releasing him and heading back towards the guard.
Before she could get very far, Giyuu grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him for a moment, swinging her into his arms as he had only done once before: during their dance at the festival. The moment felt a lifetime ago now, the burning lanterns and the upbeat music and the warmth of his embrace seeming more like a distant memory than one that had occurred only a week prior.
Giyuu hesitantly brushed his lips against her knuckles, his hand trembling ever-so-slightly as it held hers.
She sighed deeply. “Don’t toy with me, Tomioka.”
“I’m sorry,” he whispered against her skin, closing his eyes in shame.
“You may lie to me when others are present,” she began, almost hating how quickly she had given in to him, “but not when we’re alone. Don’t you dare.”
He turned her hand and kissed the pulse point on her wrist, bowing his head before her.
“I have to go before he comes looking for me,” she said reluctantly, making no actual motion to leave.
“I know,” Giyuu replied.
In a final moment of impulsiveness, she threw caution to the wind and leapt towards him, seizing a quick kiss before parting away.
“Good night,” she said a breath away from him.
He nodded once and released her.
It was the first night in a long time that she slept in a room without him. She would never dare admit it aloud, but she missed his presence deeply— like a sailor longing for the rolling waves of the sea.
They arrived in the late afternoon, sombre clouds hiding the sun and blue skies, but never providing the sweet release of rain. It was as though the universe itself was holding its breath, waiting anxiously to see what Shinobu’s fate would be, for the road she would be pushed down.
As soon as the guard pulled Shinobu down from the horse (despite her constant argument that she was very capable of doing it herself, thank you very much ), she was flocked by people itching to get a good look at her and cheering for her return. The people waiting to scold her, on the other hand, waited patiently on the sidelines, scrutinizing the appearance of their lost princess. Her precious ladies-in-waiting.
They were the ones who escorted her inside, hiding her away from the rest of the prying eyes.
After that, they started working to remove every trace of the last three weeks from her body. They scrubbed her from head to toe until her skin turned pink, filed her nails and removed every bit of dirt that lingered under them, and snipped away the split ends that had wound up in her hair. They never bothered to ask where she had been hiding all this time or where her clothes came from, either because someone had already informed them or they just didn’t care to know. They simply prepared her for dinner just as they always did, putting her in a silk gown and imprisoning every lock of hair behind dozens of bejewelled pins.
It was all as if she hadn’t disappeared. As if nothing had changed.
(She had wanted to fight them when they peeled off the cotton dress she’d arrived in. They’d tossed it aside as though it was worthless and she would bet anything that they’d burned it when she was in the bath.)
Not for a single moment did they ever leave her alone either. One of them was always with her, staring her down with a sharp, judgemental glare as though she had contracted some contagious disease out in the wild.
When they wrapped a chain of emeralds around her throat, Shinobu couldn’t help but feel like she was being shackled— tied down like an animal who just wouldn’t behave.
She was all but marched around like a prisoner in her own home, a lady-in-waiting on each side and a burly guard looming tall behind her, his presence making her feel achingly cold.
On the way back, she had mentally prepared herself for the scolding of a lifetime— for everyone to openly criticize her, to loudly berate her and express their unfathomable disappointment in her reckless behaviour. It certainly would have been annoying, but it would have been far better than the complete silence they gave her instead, the lingering stares when they thought she couldn’t see them, the glares and scowls.
She fidgeted with the bracelet the ladies had shackled around her left wrist, wanting nothing more than to rip the damn thing off and let the jewels scatter across the corridor.
The group only left her side when they reached the dining room, where they bowed while opening the door before pushing her inside.
Unlike most dinners, Kanao was absent from the table. Shinobu wouldn’t have been surprised if Kanao had been forced to have her dinner earlier to avoid the inevitable confrontation between her father and older sister.
Instead, two guards stood idly at the other end of the room, looking up at the ceiling and avoiding her gaze. A kitchenmaid appeared from a separate entrance and set a silver platter on Shinobu's placemat before scurrying back where she came from.
At the end of the long oak table sat her father, staring at her carefully while cutting the meat on his plate.
Swallowing the lump at the back of her throat, Shinobu sat down in her seat, holding her head high as though nothing bothered her and ignoring the way her hands shook as she picked up her fork. She wasn’t even sure of what she was afraid of exactly— she had faced her father dozens of times before and knew his mannerisms, knew his way of speaking.
But he had never been this quiet all those other times, as though waiting for her to speak and make the first move.
It was only when she was nearly done with her meal that he finally broke the silence.
“You crossed a line, Shinobu.”
She bit the inside of her cheek to stop herself from saying something regrettable. “It isn’t as though I had a choice in the matter. The town’s only bridge was destroyed in a storm, you know, and they were far too preoccupied with their centennial festival to pay it much mind.”
His frown deepened. “You are their princess. You should have ordered them to complete it sooner.”
“I believe I was taught to respect people’s customs and traditions,” she challenged before she could stop herself. “It would have been incredibly rude of me to demand that of them, not to mention selfish. Besides, what reason would they have had to believe me if I told them anyhow?”
“You act as though this was nothing more than a simple misdemeanour. You were missing for three weeks without a single trace! Respecting the traditions of villagers is far from being a priority. You should have attempted to return as soon as possible!”
“What makes you believe I wished to return at all?” she shouted back. “Do you honestly believe I even wanted to come back here? To this life? If matters had gone my way or if I had made myself disappear on purpose, do you truly think I would be seated here now?”
Her father stood up abruptly, slamming his hands against the wooden table so harshly that the dishes rattled.
She instinctively sucked in a breath out of surprise but continued to face him head-on, forbidding him from intimidating her. If he was attempting to scare her into admitting something, she wanted to make it crystal clear that it wouldn’t work.
“This is the influence of that guard, isn’t it?” he accused. “I had a feeling it would be a mistake to assign someone so young. I knew it should have been someone more seasoned. More professional.”
She scoffed loudly, offended that he dared to blame Giyuu. “Do you even know him at all? Or me for that matter? I can assure you that I’ve been yearning to escape from all this far before you assigned him to me. Or have you forgotten why you did so in the first place?”
Her father appeared taken aback, his stance slightly softening.
This time, it was Shinobu’s turn to stand up and glare at her father. “Sir Tomioka wanted nothing more than for us to return, even if we had to risk swimming across the lake to do it. I was the one who insisted on staying. I was the one who delayed our return as long as possible. He has been nothing but diligent in his duties from the very beginning, so don’t you dare blame him for any of this.”
Shinobu panted as though she had just run across the forest, her heart thundering in her chest.
Her father looked at her carefully. “You seem to have formed an attachment to him. Last I recall, you wanted nothing to do with him and insisted he be removed from his position. Now you defend him?”
She sighed. “I’ll admit that in the beginning, I couldn’t stand the sight of him. I was offended that you’d assigned him and I wanted him gone. But in that village, we…we came to an understanding of sorts, which is why I won’t tolerate you blaming him for something I know to be my fault.”
Her father’s eyes remained locked on her as though he was studying her, judging every word and minuscule movement she made to see if any of them would betray her.
She began fidgeting with her bracelet again, hoping that her outburst wouldn’t somehow reveal the truth: that her understanding with Giyuu was so much more than that. That he had become more than a friend or companion— he had become her home.
Shinobu thought back to his stunning eyes and warm embrace, the memories of his touch flooding her body with strength. She would defend him until the end.
After a few minutes had passed between them, her father finally sat back down, drinking from his wine as though nothing had happened. She followed suit but continued staring at him carefully.
“I have been in correspondence with the rulers of the west,” he said calmly. “They were quite disappointed that they were never able to meet you, but understand the situation.”
As if she cared. “Will you be sending me back there to carry out the original plan?”
“No. After all, we can’t be assured that you’ll reach your destination.”
She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
“However,” he continued, “we will be continuing with our original plan here.”
Shinobu’s brows knitted together in confusion. “You’ll have to remind me.”
The King smiled smugly and leaned back in his chair. “In one week’s time, we’ll be hosting a ball in your honour. There, you will select a suitor and be married as soon as possible.”
She shot out of her seat. “You…you can’t be serious!”
“As I said before, I’ve given you plenty of time to choose a suitable husband up until now. After all, Kanae already had a fiancé by this point—”
“Don’t you dare bring her into this, she didn’t want this for me!” Shinobu yelled, drawing a surprised stare from her father and the guard behind him, who had stood emotionlessly throughout their entire conversation thus far.
Her father seemed to recognize the mistake and carried on. “You’re at an appropriate age to marry someone, Shinobu. You should be grateful I am still willing to give you the chance to choose who that someone is, especially after this stunt you pulled.”
This time not even the image of Giyuu was enough to soothe her. All this time, she had been running from this, from her duty, from a marriage she didn’t want, from a future she couldn’t control. She had finally tasted true freedom, had experienced a life where nothing was expected of her, had known a love she hadn’t asked for but still felt in every bone in her body.
She desperately wished Kanae was here. Not because Shinobu wouldn’t even be in this situation if Kanae was, but because Shinobu wanted nothing more than to run into her arms like a child after a nightmare, seeking comfort and affirmations that everything would be alright, that no one would force her to do something she didn’t want to do.
Shinobu bowed her head in defeat, completely at a loss for words. She had nothing left to say now.
She eventually wound up alone in the garden after dinner. Well, as alone as she could be. Half a dozen guards were scattered throughout, standing next to every viable entrance and exit, including the trail to the forest. She could only imagine the stern discussion held between the king and the head of the guards after they’d learned of her disappearance.
She wanted to yell at them and order to leave her alone, that she had no intention of running tonight, not with her heart of lead and chains of emeralds weighing her down.
Shinobu took deep breaths, doing her best to calm herself down but failing miserably. So she gazed up at the night sky.
White stars twinkled above her in the vast sea of black as though urging her to wish on them for a solution.
She wanted to scoff. She was too old to believe in miracles. The stars had always failed her.
A breeze travelled past her, making her shiver involuntarily. She hugged herself, not wanting to admit defeat by heading back inside, not even to fetch a shawl.
She wished Giyuu could be with her. Or Kanae. Or someone who simply understood her.
The king watched his daughter carefully from a distance. He had studied her during dinner and continued doing so now, following every movement and every look that entered her eyes.
To everyone else, she likely appeared unchanged, but he knew better. He knew that something had happened to her during her time in the village— something that had changed her completely.
As she wrapped her arms around herself, a potential answer came to his mind.
He sighed deeply. The possibility was there, even if unlikely.
Then again, Shinobu had never been one to follow expectations.
Shaking his head, he turned to go back inside.
Giyuu was led down the edge of the ballroom, keeping his head down so he didn’t have to see all the visiting princes lining up for the princess’ hand.
And so he wouldn’t have to see the princess herself.
A week had passed since they returned from the village and in that time he hadn’t seen Shinobu once, not even in passing. They had been kept away from each other, constantly missing each other’s presence by mere minutes as she was pushed throughout the castle to help plan for tonight’s festivities.
When he’d heard about the ball, he’d felt nauseous. He knew it had been forced on her, likely as a punishment for something he was supposed to prevent in the first place.
Now she was in the middle of the ballroom, likely forcing smiles and trying her damnedest not to glare at the men surrounding her, itching to call her their bride.
As part of a questionable tradition, all eligible suitors wore masks to signify their statuses and to spread the moral that ‘looks weren’t all that mattered.’ How humble for a system constantly concerned with appearances and beauty, if their crowns were anything to go by.
Giyuu had intended to spend the evening alone in his room or patrolling the gardens to do away with the inevitable drunken messes that would wind up there.
He hadn’t expected the King’s footman to approach him and tell him the King demanded an audience.
The footman stopped in front of a set of doors to the small room that loomed over the ballroom. He opened them and with a nod, silently told Giyuu to go inside before shutting the door behind him.
The King leaned against the balcony railing, watching over his guests with a satisfied smile.
Giyuu bowed despite not currently being in the King’s line of sight. “You sent for me, Your Majesty?”
“Yes. Come here, Sir Tomioka.”
Giyuu carefully approached the King, who still didn’t look away from the crowds below.
He pointed to the centre of the floor, motioning for Giyuu to look.
Shinobu spun across the floor in a cloud of silver, the light colour a stark contrast from the black suit of her current partner. Even from this distance, he could see the gleam of her crown as it caught the light of the chandelier.
“She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” the King said proudly. “She gets it all from her mother. All three of them did.”
Giyuu nodded stiffly, unsure of what to say.
The King, unsatisfied with his lack of response, finally turned to him with an odd look in his eyes. “Do you find her beautiful as well?”
Giyuu was dumbstruck by the unexpected question, though he should have known all along that this was what this meeting was meant for. The other soldiers had murmured amongst themselves since the very second he and Shinobu returned, spinning rumours of a hot-headed princess who developed a soft spot for her measly, undeserving guard. Half the men looked at him in awe, praising him for winning her over, while the others looked at him in scorn, either because they knew he didn’t deserve her or because they wanted her for themselves.
Giyuu watched her as she glided the dance floor, moving as though she was fancily skating on ice, her gown creating a sea of dizzying silver wherever she went. Truly a goddess of the moon.
But he had no need for goddesses— or rather, no special preference for them. Not when he had the privilege of knowing the human woman she was underneath all her beauty.
He cleared his throat to buy time before turning away from the King. “Yes. Everyone does,” he said simply. “But she’s more than that.”
“Oh?” the King said, his voice taking on an amused lilt. “Do tell.”
Suddenly remembering his place, Giyuu hesitated. “I don’t know if that’s appropriate, Your Majesty.”
“Very well. Consider it an order then.”
Ah, so that was where Shinobu’s attitude came from.
Giyuu looked back at her, noticing how her smile never quite reached her eyes no matter how harshly she strained herself. Any prince would believe her to be the portrait of happiness…but he was no prince.
“She’s amazing,” he whispered to himself, thinking out loud. “Smart. Resourceful. Compassionate and caring.”
“Stubborn and outspoken as well, however, wouldn’t you say?”
Giyuu nodded. “But it makes her a fighter. It makes her more beautiful.”
And it made him fall in love.
The King chuckled. “You are a man of very few words, Sir Tomioka, though when you do speak, I daresay it is with just the right ones.”
Giyuu bowed his head. “I said too much.”
“Nonsense. I nearly wish you said more.”
He sighed. His words definitely confirmed any rumours the King was hearing, both true and otherwise. Giyuu only hoped he wouldn’t somehow take it out on Shinobu, not that she could meet a fate worse than a marriage she didn’t want. For her, even the throne itself was a more acceptable idea.
“I know she doesn’t want this,” the King said, breaking the momentary silence. “Marriage, that is. She has already made it perfectly clear that it will make her miserable. I simply want to ensure she has someone to protect her when I’m no longer here. She has already lost much in her short life. I do not wish to leave her completely alone.”
“She can protect herself,” Giyuu said without really thinking. “She’s strong enough.”
The King chuckled again. “Yes, I suppose that’s true. She has always been strong— perhaps even too strong at times; however, I don’t want to leave things to chance. I don’t want fate to take advantage of her in a moment of weakness and steal that strength away. Surely you can understand that.”
He didn’t. He knew that this marriage, if anything, would be the very thing to take that strength away.
“Besides, there are advantages for a princess or queen with a husband by her side. It offers not only her and her family protection but the entire kingdom.”
Giyuu wanted to tell the man that Shinobu was more than enough to protect herself and her land, that she was intelligent enough to undoubtedly work miracles in peace negotiations as long as she watched what she said more closely.
He knew that the King’s twisted mindset truly and honestly believed that this was the best course of action for his daughter, that this would keep her safe for years to come. For him, her protection was of the utmost importance— a priority higher than her happiness and freedom.
At one point, Giyuu had thought the same. At one point, he had placed his duty above everything else. At one point, that was all he saw her as: a job that needed to be done, a person who needed to be protected, a way to redeem himself for his past.
It was only after he had grown to know her as Shinobu and not a princess that he pushed his duty to the side. It was only after she’d bared her soul to him that he placed her own wishes for herself above all else.
He had to admit, it had taken an embarrassingly long time to reach this point, but now that he had finally made it, he wouldn’t abandon it for anything, not even his so-called duty to his king.
The King sighed. “You must be thinking that these reasons are foolish,” he said. “Or perhaps that you know her and her mind better after a mere few weeks than I do after her entire lifetime. That would be incorrect, though I understand where the belief stems from. You needn’t agree with me.”
He hadn’t been planning on it.
“I’m going to ask you a question and I would like for you to be completely honest with me,” the King stated. “Do you care for your princess?”
A simple question with an unspoken weight and an obvious answer.
“I care for Shinobu,” Giyuu said calmly in spite of the significance of those few words.
“I believe you meant ‘Her Highness,’ the King corrected.
Giyuu shook his head, no longer caring if he faced any repercussions from this conversation. The damage had already been done— there was no doubt the King already knew. He never would have asked the question if he didn’t have a good idea of what the answer would be.
“I didn’t.”
The King looked at him, intrigued. He turned away for a moment, busying himself with something on the table behind them.
When he returned to Giyuu’s side, it was with a small black box, opened to reveal a silver mask designed in the same style as the suitors’ masks. It was nearly the same shade as Shinobu’s gown, as though it had been woven from the same fabric.
“Take it,” the King ordered, “and go to her. Ask her for a dance but do not allow it to last longer than a single song. Once it is over, leave the ballroom at once and head to the gallery. I’ve no doubt she’ll sneak off and follow you there. I can assure you that there are no guards posted there tonight, so everything will be kept between the two of you. I trust you not to take advantage of this.”
Giyuu couldn’t stop looking at him in shock, his mouth parted and his eyes wide. “Your Majesty–”
“Once you’re there,” he continued, “and things have taken their course, end it. Tell her you can no longer see one another, or better yet, that you’re no longer interested in her at all. Tell her that whatever occurred between the two of you in that village will not repeat itself and that it was nothing more than a welcome distraction. After all, who can resist a princess, especially one as beautiful as her?”
Giyuu’s heart plummeted in his chest. “You…want me to hurt her?”
“Don’t think of it as hurting her, my dear boy, but of it setting her free from whatever it is she feels for you, allowing her to pursue someone else; someone of noble birth who will protect this kingdom alongside her.”
‘What happened to protecting her? ’ he wanted to ask, only for the King to hand him the mask.
“Lie to her, if you must. Just take care of the matter before it escalates even further.”
With the snap of the box’s lid, the conversation was over.
Shinobu shifted her weight onto her toes, her heels aching in tired irritation from the uncomfortable shoes she had been forced to wear and the sheer number of dances she needed to go through. The only thing to be grateful for was the fact that her partners knew their way across a dance floor, thereby sparing her toes from the torment the rest of her foot faced.
Needless to say, she wasn't very pleased with her current predicament. Even quiet little Kanao seemed to be having a better time with a boy with reddish-coloured hair, who had been speaking to her excitedly the entire party.
Shinobu's current partner— the prince of some neighbouring kingdom she was fairly certain they had good relations with— bowed as the current song ended. He smiled, then turned away, keeping his eyes focused on her through his golden mask as another potential suitor quickly swooped in to take his place.
Shinobu forced a smile towards both of them as she let herself be guided by her new partner.
He introduced himself and began talking her ear off, but all she heard was a series of muffled sounds. The entire ballroom was nothing more than a blur to her and her ears, the murmured conversations and music nothing more than simple noises to her. It was a miracle her feet still moved, albeit relying more on muscle memory from all the years spent ingraining these same steps to memory than outright control.
The current song finished and for the first time that night, it seemed as though she could finally take a seat. Yet just as she turned around to go to the ignored dessert table, a hand caught her gloved wrist.
She quickly turned, instinctively preparing a glare for the man who dared to deprive her of a much-needed break, only to completely freeze.
A head of dark obsidian hair framing a face unaccustomed to smiling, which sported an ornate silver mask that looked as though it had been carved from a piece of the moon itself.
And a set of sapphire eyes looking intensely at her.
Her breath caught in her throat. She was suffocating, but she just couldn’t muster enough strength to breathe.
Giyuu’s hand slowly slid from her wrist to her palm, then gently pulled her back towards the throng of dancers as the cello started up again.
He placed one hand against her back and wrapped the other around hers, assuming a dancer's position as though he had studied it all his life.
Then they began moving.
She couldn’t take her eyes off him, nor could she muster a single word. If his hands weren’t there to support her, she likely would have fallen to the floor at his feet.
Their first few steps were clumsy as he gradually grew accustomed to the pace of the music. Yet it didn’t take long for them to settle into the rhythm, his natural poise taking over and granting him the grace of a prince who had spent a lifetime learning such dances.
It was a far cry from the dance they’d shared during the festival where spirits had been high and the mood playful and jovial. There, there hadn’t been a routine to follow, no practiced steps or positions— just movements they felt like doing. Back then, she had been dressed like a village girl, the type he grew up around, the type he could be relaxed with.
Tonight, she was dressed as his princess with a sparkling crown and oversized gown. But he, too, looked the part of a prince.
Her heart tumbled into the ocean of her chest.
How long had it been since she had seen him? After spending months in his company at all times, the previous week away from him had been long and torturous, his absence opening a void within her that simply couldn’t be filled by anything.
As the music reached its peak, the hand on her back slid down to her waist, making her gasp.
If anyone saw, they would deem it improper or wonder if this particular suitor somehow already had a claim on her. They would wonder if the two of them had met before and already shared something…intimate.
But as his touch burned her through her dress, filling the void that lurked within her, she found she simply couldn’t care.
The song ended all too soon.
Giyuu parted away from her, though not before bowing and leaving a kiss on the back of her hand, just as the other suitors had done. Not that any of the other suitor’s kisses brought a rush through her veins.
Without saying a word, he turned away and shifted through the crowd, eventually disappearing through the door leading to the corridor.
Before another person could force her into a dance, she lifted her skirts and chased after him, unaware of the steady eyes of her father watching her every move.
Giyuu stood waiting for her at the end of the hall, his dark figure standing tall in front of the gallery of family portraits that haunted the walls.
“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Shinobu asked as she slowly approached him. Slowly, even though she wanted to run to him. Slowly, because she wasn’t certain if he still wanted her. One single misstep could be enough to bring the entire moment crashing down.
He still refused to face her, still denied her the chance to look into his eyes. He had taken off his mask at some point, letting it dangle from his fingers.
She cleared her throat in an effort to get his attention. “Have they been treating you well?” she tried again. “The other soldiers?”
He sighed but nodded. “Same as before. Just with more questions.”
She sucked in a breath. “Do…do they suspect something?”
His head tilted downwards. “They do. They all do.”
Shinobu felt the sharp stares of her ancestors around her, judging her with their painted eyes and strained smiles, ashamed of calling her their descendant. Look at that silly girl, emotional over a mere guard.
She said nothing, fidgeting silently with her bracelet. What could she say? That she was surprised? It would be a lie.
That she didn’t care? Also another lie, not because of her reputation, but because of what they could do to him.
That she was scared? She would rather die than admit that.
“From now on, I’ll stay away from you,” Giyuu said coolly, his back still to her. “They’ll assign someone else. It’s better this way.”
She nodded slowly but internally fumed. A week apart and that was all he had to say to her? Not on her watch.
“I suppose it is, isn’t it?” she replied bitterly. “It would be better if someone else was assigned to watch over me. It would be better if we stayed far away from one another.”
She placed her hand on his arm, which immediately tensed beneath her out of surprise.
“It would be better if we did lots of things and if we didn’t do even more. It would have been better if we’d never given in at all.”
She leaned her face against his shoulder, rubbing her cheek against the fabric.
“It would have been better if I never asked you to kiss me. It would have been better if I had simply gone on hating you, or if we’d never met in the first place.”
She delicately turned his face towards her, finally catching the shine in his eyes. This time, he didn’t look away.
“Your words say one thing, but your eyes always say another, you know.” She traced his cheek, which blushed under her touch. “They always give you away.”
“What do they tell you now?”
His gaze remained intense, fixed on her in a way that made her feel warm. She didn’t know if she deserved to be looked at in that way— as though she was the meaning of life itself— but she found that she didn’t mind.
Any lingering doubts about whether or not he still wanted her faded away into the darkness of the corridor, disappearing as though they’d never existed at all.
She went on her tiptoes, bringing herself as close to his height as she could. “That everything you said was a lie, just as it was on the way back the other night. That you don’t want to stay away. That you still want me in spite of everything.”
He leaned in so close that their noses brushed, but still continued denying her the luxury of a kiss.
“We–”
“If you’re going to say that we shouldn’t do this or that it’s wrong, don’t even bother speaking at all,” she demanded before taking charge and kissing him herself.
As though the floodgates opened, a magnificent rush of emotion filled her chest, delivering warmth to every inch of her body, warmth that she had been missing ever since their farewell in the inn’s cellar. She could feel the blush filling her cheeks but paid it no mind, choosing to cling to the fabric of his suit instead, pulling him to her, drowning herself in him.
His hands bunched themselves in the skirt of her gown as he seemed to finally forget his worries, making her smile against his mouth.
It suddenly occurred to her that the paintings of her ancestors were still watching them. It made her only want to give in to him even more. To hell with what they thought about her, she'd already disappointed them anyways.
Eventually, his hands found their way to her hair, his fingers digging through the strands that had been carefully combed to perfection hours ago. He used his grip to bring himself closer, deeper, and she relished every bit of it.
She leaned her head back, wrapping her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her height.
Her tiara slipped off her head, landing on the stone floor with a heavy clang.
The noise made Giyuu pull away and no matter how hard Shinobu tried to pull him back in, he wouldn’t budge.
His eyes were fixed on the crown, staring intently at the large diamonds and sapphires as though they had wronged him. Even in the darkness, the gems gleamed with the light of nearby candles, hypnotizing him, putting him at war with his mind.
“Giyuu?” she whispered, but not even the use of his first name was enough to sway him.
He released her as though it pained him to even touch her, turning away from her completely. He bowed his head, a tremor running across his shoulders before walking away, leaving her alone in the gallery.
Frowning, she nearly kicked the crown, fighting to ignore the nagging feeling in her chest that felt like that was meant to be a goodbye.
The next morning, as soon as Shinobu finished her breakfast, she was summoned to meet her father in the throne room.
She walked there as slowly as she could, taking her time to rise from the table and wander through the hallways. Although there was a small chance that this meeting was to apologize to her for trying to force a marriage, she had very little confidence. Her breakfast was churning in her stomach and she felt incredibly light-headed.
When she got there, she froze right in front of the door.
In the middle of the room was her father whispering to one of his advisors, who nodded vigorously before quickly leaving the room, hastily bowing to her before he left.
In front of her father was that all too familiar head of black hair, back in uniform with his sword hanging at his hip.
Her posture naturally relaxed as she approached the two men, unknowingly keeping her eyes locked on Giyuu the whole time. She didn’t know how softly she gazed at him in spite of their abrupt parting, her violet eyes filled with adoration.
From the corner of her eye, Shinobu noticed her father look between them with an odd expression before nodding to himself, mumbling something under his breath.
He took a step forward, puffing out his chest and standing tall.
“I have news for both of you,” he said.
He turned to Giyuu first, his smile poised in his direction. Her father looked rather pleased with himself, which made Shinobu’s blood run cold. Normally, that expression meant something good, but she knew that whatever he was about to say would be the complete opposite.
“After careful consideration, I have decided that you, Sir Tomioka, will resume your original duties and continue guarding the princess for as long as I see fit. Therefore, you will continue to follow closely behind her at all times to ensure her safety.”
Shinobu looked at her father in confusion. That was the last thing she expected.
She noticed Giyuu swallow nervously before nodding and bowing in affirmation.
“Yes, Your Majesty.”
“Excellent! Now.” He turned to Shinobu, pride filling his face. “My dear Shinobu, it gives me great pleasure to announce that the ball was a tremendous success.”
Perhaps for one of us.
Shinobu gave him a strained smile. “How wonderful.”
Her father nodded happily. “You received several proposals from the visiting men. They were quite taken with you.”
“Good for them.”
“Therefore I have taken the liberty of accepting a proposal for you.”
Her face dropped.
A shiver ran through her, making her arms weakly tremble at her sides. The floor swayed a bit at her feet, threatening to knock her off balance.
Or perhaps it succeeded, evident by the strong arms that suddenly grabbed onto her, holding her steady before she could hit the floor.
Heat rushed back to her head and she tore herself out of Giyuu’s arms, ignoring how badly her body wanted to stay there.
“You said it would be my decision!” she yelled, scrambling back to her feet and facing her father. “You said I would be able to choose!”
“I did,” her father admitted. “However, I deemed it necessary to make the final selection myself late last night. I believe this is most beneficial for us and the kingdom.”
The air left Shinobu’s lungs. She wanted to hit something, to scream until she physically couldn’t anymore, to pound at the walls, at the floor, at anything until someone understood the rage she felt towards her father, at herself, at her own helplessness.
She thought of herself as a strong and stubborn person who wouldn’t bow down to anyone. She thought of herself as someone who would never take orders, who would never allow someone else to control her life.
In the end, she was the complete opposite: a naïve little girl who still hadn’t grown up, who still couldn’t take charge of her own life.
“Your fiancé will be joining us for dinner tonight,” her father continued, though his voice barely reached her ears now.
She could barely breathe.
“I will see the two of you in the dining hall later on,” he said before leaving the room.
Giyuu felt something in him quiver at the sight of Shinobu standing in the middle of the grand room, defeated and in shock as she stared at the empty spot where father had stood.
She didn’t look at Giyuu right away but when she did, he almost felt all his breath leave his body.
Her eyes were distant and pale. The fire that usually burned in them, the same one that had entranced him and brought him to her side in the first place, had been doused. There was nothing left but a plume of smoke and a pile of ashes.
Just as he thought would happen. Just as he’d feared.
Stunned, she walked mechanically towards the hallway, saying nothing as she left the room. He maintained a steady pace behind her, ignoring the stares of the throne room’s guards that followed them as they left them behind.
She eventually stopped before the doors of the library, numbly pushing them open.
He followed suit, then let them fall shut behind them.
She looked around at the walls of books, likely making sure no one else was there except for them.
Then she ran to him.
She buried her face into his chest, small fingers clawing at his back as he felt something wet meet his uniform.
He was supposed to avoid indulging her, to not show any form of affection in order to break himself away from her, even if they were completely alone.
But as she squeezed him tightly, her strength acting as a silent plea, he couldn’t reject her. He couldn’t push her away. He was under her spell just as he always was.
Just as he’d always been.
Eventually, she would have to get cleaned up and be fitted into a dress for dinner. She would have to make her puffy red eyes go away, smile, and act like everything was fine, that was she was happy to meet her future husband.
But that would be later.
Giyuu held Shinobu tightly, pressing her small form into him. Even when her tears finally stopped flowing, he didn’t dare let go.
Notes:
Well that was longer than expected. Regardless, thank you for reading!
Chapter 11: Come, Gentle Night
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Shinobu’s fingers were a ghastly shade of white as they gripped her royal blue gown, which dragged along the cobblestones behind her. A sapphire crown gleamed on her head and its matching necklace bobbed along her tense throat as she swallowed nervously, doing her best to keep her breathing in line with the taps of her heeled shoes as they marked her path to the dining hall.
Giyuu’s hand remained on the small of her back. Only his fingertips dared to touch her— in case anyone happened to walk by— but the mere feeling of his presence was more than enough to comfort her.
He was still here. He hadn’t left her side.
Not yet anyway. Her father had surprised her by allowing Giyuu to stay, but she knew that he intended for it to be their goodbye.
The guards standing at the entrance to the dining hall bowed to her but stopped Giyuu in his tracks before he could follow her further.
“The King ordered you to take your dinner now, Tomioka. He said you can come fetch the princess later,” one of them said smugly.
Shinobu was tempted to show him her right-hook.
Instead, she looked back at Giyuu and nodded. He looked at her hesitantly, but still bowed and disappeared down the hall.
So she would face this alone. She’d figured it would turn out this way.
She squeezed her skirt again, eyes flitting down to gaze at the dark blue fabric. The colour reminded her of him, hence why she had chosen to wear it instead of the crimson gown that had originally been selected, the red meant to be a show of support for her fiancé’s kingdom, which bore a deep red flag.
The blue was a statement she knew her father would understand. The opposite of red. The colour of Giyuu’s eyes.
With her head held high, she opened the doors and walked in.
Her father was deep in conversation with a young man seated to his left— the only other person at the table. Her placemat was set directly across from the man.
Her fiancé, no doubt.
They both turned to her immediately and a wide grin grew on the man’s face as he stared at her.
His smile unsettled her tremendously. Something she couldn't name clearly loomed behind it, giving it an oddly sinister air that she doubted most people would notice.
He had a pale complexion and hair that resembled faded gold, but that was the only bit of warmth she could detect from him. The rest of him felt freezing cold.
“Please, sit down,” her father said warmly, a hidden threat buried in his voice. It wasn’t a polite suggestion; it was an order.
Swallowing hard, she took her seat.
“Shinobu, this is Douma, the second prince of—”
“Pleasure,” she said firmly, cutting her father off on purpose. She barely glanced at the prince.
His grin remained in place, never wavering for a second. “My, my, so it’s true what they say. You truly are a feisty one, my dear.”
Her right eye twitched at the casual endearment. There was nothing sweet about it— he was already belittling her.
“I’m not ‘your’ anything, so please refrain from referring to me as such,” she said.
Her father glared at her, but the prince only chuckled.
“How amusing! Such a pity you’ve been hiding her away for so long, Your Majesty! Had I known such a girl existed, I would have proposed much sooner.”
“You act as though you proposed at all,” she bit back.
“Shinobu…” her father said slowly as if preparing to scold her as though she were a child.
She nearly rolled her eyes. She didn’t care if she was acting brazen and immaturely, didn’t care if she was coming off as a spoiled brat. Those who chose to make major decisions for her didn’t deserve her manners, not even her father.
And certainly not this man.
“It’s quite alright, Your Majesty. I enjoy a girl unafraid of speaking her mind. Tell me, my little bride, what else do you have to say?” he asked teasingly.
She looked away.
Their meals soon arrived but not even the food was enough to keep either man quiet and to themselves. Her father was too busy boasting about her accomplishments while Douma was preoccupied with staring at her intently all the while, his emotionless eyes fixed on her and making her feel incredibly uncomfortable, as though he could somehow see right through her.
“May I ask you to stop staring at me?” she asked halfway through the meal.
Her father paused mid-bite but Douma’s lazy grin only grew.
“Why? I find you rather flattering, Shinobu,” he said, leaning his face against his hand. “Dare I say it: could this be what they call ‘love?’”
She fought the urge to puke.
“No, I believe they call it ‘objectification.’”
“Ha ha! Beautiful and intelligent? I do believe I lucked out with you, my dear.”
Anyone who saw him would simply say that he was flattering her, feeding her compliments in order to get on her good side and smiling at her to show he wasn’t a threat, that she was someone she could trust and enjoy spending time with.
Instead, his cheerful expression made her uneasy. Nothing about him was genuinely sweet— she barely knew him and he sickened her. Perhaps it was the odd look in his light-coloured eyes or the fact that his grin looked more like a smirk.
He looked at her like she was nothing more than a tiny mouse who had been cornered by a lion, who licked his sharp canines as she struggled.
“What’s the matter, my dear? You look pale,” he said with a tilt of his head.
“I’m fine,” she said through clenched teeth, focusing on cutting her meat instead. If the plate hadn’t been made of porcelain, she likely would have cut through it.
He extended his arm across the table and took her left hand in his, rubbing his thumb along her knuckles. The movement appeared gentle, but it felt like the opposite, as though he was trying to drag her skin and pull it right off her.
Not to mention, his hand was terribly icy, immediately cooling her warmed skin with only a few touches.
“I said I’m fine,” she insisted before trying to tug her hand back.
He only tightened his grip, pressing down on her hand even harder.
Who was this man?
“Ah, you seem quite taken with her already!” her father said happily.
She looked at him pleadingly, but he didn’t seem to notice her.
“Why, of course!” Douma replied. “She’s quite lovely. We’ll make quite the pair, won’t we, my dear?”
It was the longest dinner of her life.
When the final empty plates were taken away, Shinobu finally felt like she could breathe. The dreadful experience was over.
She quickly stood up and dusted herself off, muttering a quick goodbye before turning to leave.
“Just a moment, Shinobu!” her father called.
She bit back a curse and slowly turned around, not even bothering to hide her annoyance as she glared at the two men.
Douma bowed at her. “T’was a pleasure to meet you properly, Shinobu. I look forward to our union.”
“That makes one of us,” she said bitterly.
“You wound me!” Douma said before her father could scold her. “Nonetheless, I look forward to changing your mind, my little bride. I’m certain you’ll warm up to me quite soon.”
She rolled her eyes, no longer caring about being unladylike. “I doubt it. Good night, father.”
This time, she made it through the doors before either of them could get another word in.
She marched back to her bedroom, nearly kicking off her shoes in the hallway before remembering that if she did, she would have to be the one to collect them later. That, or some helpless maid would have to deal with her as she fumed.
Shinobu didn’t relax until the door to her room was closed behind her. She leaned against the wood and sighed, running her hands through her hair. Her left hand was already aching where Douma had grabbed it during dinner. A bruise would likely appear there tomorrow.
The performance was growing harder to maintain. That much was painfully obvious. Now that she had known a taste of the freedom she’d craved for so long, the thought of going back to her prim and proper lifestyle was agonizing. Could she really do this for the rest of her life?
Kanae would have been able to. Sweet, mature, and sophisticated Kanae— perfect in every way.
Shinobu took off her dress and slipped into a nightgown. She wrapped a lavender shawl around herself and hugged it to her body, ignoring that it had belonged to Kanae before. Ignoring that none of this would be happening if her sister was still here.
But yearning and wishing for miracles wasn’t productive, nor was it like Shinobu to do.
Light tapping came at her door, followed by a cool voice saying, “It’s me.”
Her shoulders instinctively relaxed before she pulled the door open to reveal Giyuu.
He stepped into her room without hesitation, which surprised her even though everyone likely already expected the worst from them.
“You’re still wearing your crown,” he pointed out as he sat on the ottoman in front of her bed.
“Huh?” Shinobu brushed her fingers against her neck, feeling her necklace at the same time the weight of her crown made itself apparent again. “Oh. I am. I suppose I’ve gotten used to it.”
She delicately set her jewellery and crown on her vanity. After all, they were probably worth more than her.
“Did you meet…him?” Giyuu asked carefully.
She sighed deeply and walked over to sit beside him. “Unfortunately. He was vile.”
“That bad?”
“Horrible! He may seem friendly, but he’s anything but. I don’t trust him at all.” She put her head in her hands, covering her eyes. “I don’t understand why my father chose him, of all people. Likely out of spite.”
Giyuu’s arm wrapped around her shoulders, encouraging her to shift closer.
Yet just as she was about to lean her head against him to rest, a sharp knock came at her door, demanding her attention.
Both their eyes turned to the door and Giyuu began moving towards it before she raised her hand to keep him in place. She motioned for him to move further to the right, where he would be out of view for whoever chose to stop by at such a late hour. The last thing either of them needed were more rumours. They had already been alone together for three weeks— what would people say if he was seen alone with her in her room after dark? Regardless of the fact that he was her guard and supposed to be there.
Shinobu slowly approached the door, opening it only a small crack.
Douma stood on the other side with his unsettling smile. Even in the dim light of the hallway, his pale golden hair shone.
“Good evening, my dear,” he said teasingly, his smile never wavering. “Might I come in?”
Shinobu wrapped her shawl tighter around her body, not trusting where his stare might wander. From the corner of her eye, Giyuu moved closer, but she raised her hand behind the door to stop him again.
“I don’t believe that would be proper,” she stated clearly.
Douma’s smile widened. “Is that so? I hardly think any rumours about us would be detrimental to you, my dear. After all, I am to be your husband.”
A chill ran down her spine at the word, but she maintained her composure. “Regardless, I don’t think it would be appropriate. Good night, Your Highness.”
She began closing the door, but he stopped it with his hand, prying it further open than she had in the first place.
“Your continued use of titles wounds me, Shinobu. I have no qualms about using personal names, especially with someone as cute as you.”
She hated how her name sounded coming from his mouth.
“Well, I hardly know you,” she replied.
He leaned in closer. “Then allow me to change that. We could have a lovely conversation inside. Get to know one another on a deeper level without anyone else present.”
His face neared hers and she took a much-needed step back, faintly noticing Giyuu nearby, poised to attack at her command.
“I’ll have to pass on that for tonight, I’m afraid,” she said through clenched teeth, doing her best to remain civil when she wanted nothing more than to shove Douma away.
“Whyever so? Is it to save your modesty, my darling princess? Or…” he leaned down to whisper, “is it because you already have company?”
Her blood froze and before she could stop herself, she shot him an icy glare. “What are you implying?”
Douma chuckled and leaned back, giving her much-needed space. “Only what every servant has been whispering about since my arrival. They speak of you and your not-so-secret relations with that guard of yours. Tell me, my dear, what actually transpired between you and that man during your absence? I promise it won’t affect our engagement in the slightest.”
Shinobu pushed on the door again, only to be barred by his hand once more.
Douma broke out into a peal of menacing laughter, his amused jeers setting her on edge. Her nails dug into her palm, fighting the urge to sink into his face.
“You’re so fascinating! Your simple reaction reveals all I need to know. In fact, I suspect he’s just behind that door, ready to strike me down with his sword at your command. How admirable, how noble of a knight!”
“What do you actually want?” she bit back, tired of maintaining formalities. “Why are you here?”
His amused grin turned wicked. “I had hoped to spend some much-needed time with my beautiful little fiancée, though it appears that that will have to wait for another occasion. No matter, I can still make use of this opportunity to inform you of something rather important.”
He leaned down to her height, the action nothing less than patronizing.
“Listen closely, my little bride: I do not care what transpired between you and that guard. Although I would have delighted in an untarnished girl, I have no plans to end our engagement over something so trivial. Even if in nine months' time, you give birth to a child identical to him, I will play the part of its father and of your dearest husband to absolute perfection. But…”
His eyes narrowed into a hungry stare, setting her on edge.
“I will never allow you to forget that transgression, though I doubt you ever will. I will be there to remind you for as long as you and that pathetic child live. At the end of each passing day, you will be at my mercy to do with as I please for the sake of your kingdom and its pristine reputation. As soon as we are married, you will be mine, my little bride.”
“You don’t frighten me,” she spat back even if it wasn’t entirely true. “If you truly think I’ll ever blindly follow whatever you ask of me, you have a lifetime of disappointment ahead of you.”
He burst into laughter, the response delighting him. “Such a fiery little thing! I quite admire that about you. Could this be the blossoming of true love?”
“Leave. Now.”
“Oh dear, not even a ‘please?’ You wound me, princess, but very well, I’ll take my leave for the night so that you and that guard may have a few more moments of romantic bliss. Though before I do…”
He grabbed her left hand and pulled her towards him, pressing down on the same spot from dinner and making her instinctively cry out.
Giyuu rushed to the door in an instant, reaching her before she could stop him again. He pointed the cold silver of his blade at Douma’s throat, which only made him more amused.
“So he finally makes his appearance, how delightful!” Douma said cheerfully, not seeming to care about the sword mere breaths away from him. “You needn’t worry, little guard, I’ve no plans to harm her tonight. I merely wanted to leave her with a gift.”
At that moment, Shinobu felt something icy forced onto her finger before Douma pushed her back towards Giyuu, who held her without putting down his weapon.
Douma bowed with a flourish. “Until our next meeting, my little bride. Farewell.”
He sauntered back down the hall and eventually disappeared around the corner.
All of Shinobu’s muscles turned weak, nearly forcing her to rely on Giyuu to stand. It was only when he led her back inside and locked the door that she finally looked at Douma’s ‘gift.’
Strangling her left ring finger was a stunning golden band with a large, dark ruby in the shape of a diamond imposed on it. All along the ring were smaller red gems.
Heat rushed to her head and she forced the ring off her finger, throwing it down on her vanity. She leaned over the counter, doing her best to catch her breath.
When she looked up again, she caught Giyuu’s gaze in the mirror. He stood a small distance away, likely waiting for her to go to him or to signal that it was alright for him to touch her.
She was too angry to cry, too proud to give in to the tears of frustration that pricked the edges of her eyes.
But she wasn’t too proud to throw herself into his embrace, which quickly came up around her as soon as she reached his chest.
“Let’s go for a walk in the gardens,” she said, looking out at the waning moon outside her window. “I want to clear my thoughts.” And get out of here for a while.
He nodded. “The moon is beautiful tonight,” he said softly without looking outside.
She smiled for the first time that day. “It is, isn’t it?”
Shinobu brushed her fingers along the stark white lace absentmindedly, her gaze a million miles away and her mind so obviously elsewhere. Giyuu knew she likely didn’t care whether they put her in fine silk or a burlap sack— either way, she wasn’t going to be a blushing bride.
The seamstresses, on the other hand, were more than delighted to be making a wedding dress. They all crowded around her, excitedly holding up measuring tapes and fabric swatches as though they were grand art. Shinobu mustered a smile, likely for their sakes more than anything, but he knew how much it pained her.
She had barely wanted to get out of bed this morning. The maids nearly had to drag her out of her room.
Now, as the seamstresses planned out her wedding dress, Shinobu shot worried glances at Giyuu whenever they looked away. He couldn’t do more than nod in understanding— he had no right to hold her hand, to hold her as he had done in the library when she finally fell apart. He could still feel the sensation of her tears on his shoulder, haunting him.
Once again, he hadn’t been able to do anything. Still wasn’t able to do anything. Still couldn’t step in and save her.
And now, he not only had to watch her be tortured through wedding preparations but…
Shinobu walked out from behind a privacy screen, dressed in a white gown that was big on her, dragging along the floor with sleeves that definitely didn’t fit right, but seeing her in it was still jarring.
Shinobu. In a wedding dress.
He looked away shyly, which he knew she must have noticed because when he looked back, she had the smallest hint of a genuine smile on her face for the first time in days.
The past week had been torturous for the both of them. For her, because she was being ushered around for a wedding she didn’t want. For him because he had to follow her around everywhere.
Because he had to watch the woman he loved prepare to marry someone else. As much as he wanted to appear unbothered, it truly did bother him. A lot.
Then she would look at him pleadingly and his heart would crack the slightest bit more.
He knew the King had done this on purpose, knew that he only gave Giyuu his position back so he could watch Shinobu marry someone else from up close. It was a unique form of punishment and a grim reminder that regardless of how much Giyuu loved her or how much she wanted him, her world would forbid it forever. The golden bars of her cage were impenetrable for anyone that wasn’t already inside. The most they would ever allow him to be was a secret plaything, a foolish boy in love with a princess, a queen, that stood miles above him.
Those bleak thoughts followed him everywhere. He even began debating returning home to his village and away from the vile politics of the palace.
But then she would brush her knuckles ever-so-slightly against his, or look his way with those glowing violet eyes and he would realize that as long as she wanted him here, as long as she looked at him that way, he could never leave her side.
Shinobu’s name was written all over him, the letters branded into his clothes and his skin, the shape of it bound to his tongue and fingertips. She had claimed every part of him, leaving nothing for anyone else.
He knew there would never be anyone else, no one other than her. He’d fought against her for so long, refused to be taken in by her. It had seemed ridiculously easy at first, until the thought of not being with her, of not allowing her to take him and do as she pleased with him made him want to tear himself apart.
He’d tried to resist her and he knew that she had done the same. She had always been very stubborn, but now his initials were all over her too.
She leaned against the window sill and took a deep breath of fresh air for the first time that week, enjoying a long-awaited moment of peace after days of preparations. Her father was rushing everything, which didn’t help with all the brewing rumours of her love affair and probable pregnancy.
Whatever.
A sudden burst of colour against the pristine green lawn caught her attention, followed by the sound of light laughter.
Kanao, whose light pink dress caught Shinobu’s attention in the first place, was being pulled forward by a boy laughing gleefully, pointing up at the orange sunset.
Shinobu recognized him as being the same boy Kanao had spoken with at the ball and was taken aback. Kanao had always been extremely quiet, barely even crying as a baby. She was incredibly shy and hardly ever spoke to anyone that wasn’t one of her sisters. Even their father had a tough time getting through to her.
To see Kanao willingly speak to someone, willingly follow someone like this boy…the sight warmed Shinobu’s heart.
Giyuu moved to stand beside her and followed her gaze to the younger pair, who now sat on the edge of the fountain. The boy was saying something in an excited tone and if Shinobu looked closely, she could almost see the faint outline of genuine joy on her sister’s face.
“The guards say he’s been following her around since the ball,” Giyuu explained calmly.
“And she doesn’t seem to mind,” Shinobu replied with a relieved smile. “She closed herself off after…after Kanae. She never spoke much before that, but afterwards, you were fortunate if you ever heard her voice at all. Now she’s smiling with someone in the garden…” Shinobu smiled, almost feeling like a proud mother watching her child grow. “He seems good for her.”
She could still feel Giyuu’s gaze on her as she looked below, so she turned to face him.
“Why are you staring at me?” she asked teasingly.
Giyuu didn’t take the bait and continued looking at her intensely, seemingly studying her expression closely. “If you escaped, you’d be leaving her behind.”
She sighed but nodded slowly. “Selfish of me, isn’t it? If I left, she would simply take my place.”
Of course, she had considered it: how suddenly being thrust into the throne the same way she was would hurt Kanao, who had always closed herself off from the world. Although Kanao excelled in whatever she was asked to do and bore an intelligence that could easily compete against her older sisters, she would never be able to make it as queen alone. She could adapt to the new position and easily carry herself with all the grace and poise a queen was expected to have, but she would still need someone by her side.
Shinobu looked back at her sister and the boy, the latter of which never seemed to stop talking as though filling the blanks Kanao left for him.
When Kanao giggled lightly in her quiet and subdued way, Shinobu knew.
“If I left, she would always be my greatest regret,” Shinobu quietly admitted. “But maybe now…now she’ll be okay.”
Giyuu continued watching her carefully but said nothing. He looked back outside, eyes scanning the garden and the forest beyond it.
“So pensive,” Shinobu said with a smile. “What could be going on in that big head of yours, Tomioka-san?”
Twelve hours.
That was all that separated her from her fate— a mere twelve hours standing between her and the vile man who would keep her caged for the rest of her life.
It didn’t matter that the rumours of her and Giyuu weren’t true. It didn’t matter that it would be physically impossible to give birth to a child with his eyes in nine months. It didn’t matter that she would fight Douma for as long as she could until her dying breaths.
None of it mattered because there wasn’t a single thing she could do to change it.
Shinobu had tried talking to her father ever since he announced her engagement, tried striking conversations and debates in the vain hope that he would listen to her and change his mind, but he had been avoiding her like the plague, always ‘too busy’ or ‘too tired.’ He had no interest in speaking with her about anything.
Perhaps she had inherited her stubbornness from him.
Now, Shinobu had nothing to do but pace around her room, wringing her nightgown through her fingers. She was far too anxious to sleep and too jittery to do anything else. She even nearly resorted to attempting embroidery, but her fingers couldn’t stop shaking.
Two guards silently stood on the other side of her bedroom door, likely ensuring a midnight tryst wouldn’t take place. Giyuu had been dismissed for the same reason, the guards having announced that he was excused from his duties for the night shortly after dinner. After that, Shinobu had been ushered back to her room.
So there she was, confined like a princess in a tower with her heart threatening to swallow her whole.
Nothing more than a damsel in distress. Helpless. Hopeless. Useless.
She fell onto her bed, desperately wishing she could succumb to the release of sleep, only for her mind to rage against her instead. For the millionth time since receiving the news of her engagement, she asked herself ‘what would Kanae do?’
But Kanae wouldn’t be in this situation. If an engagement was forced on her, she would simply go to their father and negotiate with him. He always gave in to her right away and even if he didn’t, Kanae could always form one hell of an argument.
Kanae wasn’t helpless like Shinobu was. Her sister had always been so strong, had always possessed an iron fist she concealed with a soft velvet glove. She never knew vulnerability; even in her final days, she never admitted to weakness, never allowed anyone to see her with anything other than that graceful smile.
Back then, that fact had infuriated Shinobu, who could never hide her true emotions for longer than a few seconds. Back then, she had wanted Kanae to admit to being afraid, being in pain, being vulnerable.
Either out of a sense of pride or jealousy, Shinobu wanted her sister to stop acting so invincible.
“How can you keep smiling like there’s nothing wrong?” Shinobu yelled, standing abruptly from her chair. “How can you keep acting like everything’s okay? You’re dying, Kanae!”
No one dared to say it when in Kanae’s presence, but they all knew it. The princess was dying and Shinobu was sick of hiding such an obvious truth.
The weight of her words sank onto her shoulders and she slumped back down in defeat, putting her head in her hands. “You’re dying…” she repeated more gently.
Kanae only continued smiling softly, even as her lungs struggled to breathe.
“I know,” Kanae whispered, her normally lyrical voice hoarse. The sound made Shinobu’s eyes shoot up even before she fully processed the words.
I know.
“I’ve always known,” Kanae continued, “even though you all tried to hide it from me.”
“Then aren’t you scared?”
Kanae did her best to take a deep breath, her dark lashes gliding against her pale skin as she blinked something back. “I’m terrified, but…I want my final moments to be happy ones. I don’t want to cry or yell or get angry because I know it won’t do me any good. It may be selfish of me to ask this, but can you grant me that?”
It was the first and only time Shinobu had heard her sister admit to being afraid. It was a memory that haunted Shinobu, but in this moment of desperation, it gave her strength.
She knew that she could spend all night in her room crying over an inevitable fate and it wouldn’t make a single difference. She could yell or shout or argue and nothing would change. Or, she could be selfish one last time and make her final act of freedom a happy one.
Giyuu was bound to vows of his own and in a matter of hours, she would be too.
She stared at the empty chair next to the door, the one he had always sat in as she fell asleep before their trip, before they became anything. He would never return there, nor would the steady sound of his breathing soothe her to sleep as it had back in the inn. She would never wake up with him beside her or hear his deep voice whispering in her ear.
Shinobu fidgeted with the lace of her nightgown. She wanted to be with him for years to come, but she would have to settle with one night.
With a newfound determination racing through her veins, she opened the balcony doors and stepped outside, the cool air hitting her body immediately.
Ignoring her sudden onslaught of shivering, she climbed onto the other side of the railing and shuffled over to the vines that grew along the palace walls. She prayed that her small physique would be enough to avoid snapping them, which would plunge her down.
He would be in the barracks tonight with all the soldiers. It would be a challenge to make it there unspotted, but if there was one thing she excelled at, it was running away.
After all, that was why they assigned Giyuu to look after her in the first place.
When she hit the grass below, she cursed at herself for not having the forethought to bring a cloak or shawl with her. Hiding behind a tall piece of shrubbery, she mentally mapped out a path across the garden.
Since it was nearly midnight, far fewer guards were stationed outside. She knew there would be a pair next to the entrance to the forest, the exit to the courtyard, and the doors that led to the main hall.
For once, she was grateful for being small. Darting out from behind the shrubbery, she quickly zoomed across the garden, tucking herself behind bushes and sculptures. With the darkness working to her advantage, she easily made it across the garden. The true challenge would be making it past the guards and into the courtyard.
Her hands scrambled across the ground, looking for a rock large enough to toss in the opposite direction. She eventually settled on a smooth, decorative stone and threw it as far as she could.
It landed some distance away and the two guards followed the sound.
Realistically, only one of them should have gone to investigate and the thought almost made her laugh out loud. No wonder Giyuu had been able to beat them all.
Shinobu shot out from behind the final bush and ran as quickly as she could, knowing that as soon as she reached the corner of the castle, there wouldn’t be any other guards to worry about, the lack of entrances inside allowing them to spare the effort.
Tucked into the far left corner of the courtyard were the barracks: a wide stone building lined with windows. Candlelight still flickered in a select few, the occasional shadow moving across them.
As though the gods themselves had heard her plea, she spotted a familiar silhouette on the second floor, looking out his window at the land beyond.
Shinobu glanced up at the stars, which seemed to twinkle just a little brighter, and mouthed thank you.
Maybe Kanae was smiling down on her now.
Notes:
Thank you for reading! We're almost there...
Chapter 12: Fire On Fire
Notes:
This chapter contains some implied sexual content towards the end. There isn't anything explicit or super NSFW, but if that kind of content makes you uncomfortable, you can come back next chapter! There won't be any serious or important plot points included here, so you won't miss anything!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Shinobu grabbed a pebble from the ground and threw it at Giyuu’s window.
She saw his shoulders tense and his hand instinctively go to his hip despite there not being a sword there. His eyes darted in her attention and although they seemed relieved at first, they immediately filled with alarm.
She smiled innocently at him, blinking up at him as though she wasn’t the country's princess standing alone in the courtyard in front of a building filled with men.
Giyuu seemed to sigh deeply before holding up his hand, gesturing for her to wait.
In those few idle moments when she waited for him, the weight of her actions finally sank onto her.
She was getting married tomorrow. And she’d snuck out of her bedroom. From the window.
And now she was standing outside the barracks where any guard could look outside and see her in nothing but a nightgown, waiting to be collected by the man she actually came to see.
Oh, how her ladies-in-waiting and governesses would faint if they could see her now. The thought made her start giggling.
“They’ll hear you,” Giyuu said, silently emerging from the building with a bundle of fabric.
“That was quick,” she said with a grin, apparently throwing caution to the wind. “You’re always full of surprises—”
He covered her mouth with his hand, forcing her to stop speaking rather ungracefully. He handed her the fabric, which turned out to be his crimson cape, and helped her drape it over her head and body.
“Keep your head down,” he instructed before carefully manoeuvring her inside.
She held onto his cape with tightly balled fists. It smelled like him, which made her feel like she was already wrapped in his embrace.
However, the colour wasn’t lost on her— it bore a significant resemblance to the rubies on her engagement ring, which still sat abandoned on her vanity.
Giyuu carefully shuffled her up the stairs as quickly as he could, doing his best to guide her on where to step to make the least amount of noise possible. She held her breath the entire way, though more for his sake than her own. What was the worst that could happen if they got caught?
He didn’t release her until the door to his room was closed and locked behind them.
She shrugged the cape off and absentmindedly tossed it onto his bed. “I think I’ve grown to hate red. I’ll have to talk to my father and have these changed.”
Giyuu stared at her blankly.
She raised an eyebrow. “What?”
“What are you doing here?”
“Ah, yes. That.”
She hadn’t thought of an explanation before coming. Now that she was with him, she wasn’t quite sure of how to act or what to do. All she could be certain of was how desperately she wanted to spend these final hours with him, to engrave them onto her skin so deeply that she never forgot a single second.
Instead of speaking, she took Giyuu’s hand and held it up against her own.
“They’re so much bigger than mine,” she whispered, her heart softening at the difference in size. His hand could engulf hers if she allowed it to.
Her emotions were all over the place tonight. One moment, she was in a fit of giggles over how scandalous her actions were and the next, she felt like sobbing. She was torn between wanting to laugh or cry, her chest swelling in emotion.
She dared to look into his eyes for the answer, though they only implored her to continue.
To think, when they’d first met, his eyes had looked dark and incredibly sharp as they followed her every move. Anyone would have been scared of those eyes and of their owner, but Shinobu wasn’t, though that had less to do with him and more to do with her pride. Back then, she could have been held at knifepoint and been unable to describe what colour his eyes even were.
Now, she knew them better than she knew her own. Now, they softened when they looked at her, settling into fine curves instead of sharp edges. Now, she could go on for hours on their exact shade.
Now they saw her as Shinobu— not a princess, not a task, not a duty.
She had changed a great deal as well and she knew it. All along, she had thought herself to be so strong. Undefeatable. No need for anything or anyone.
Until he became someone.
Everything.
Damn him for crashing his way into her heart, damn him for filling her dreams with his rich azure gaze, damn him for making her need him.
Damn him for protecting her and showing her just how alone she’d been.
She always likened her spirit to a flame, but perhaps she had been lying to herself all this time. After Kanae’s death, Shinobu had frozen herself without even realizing it, had closed herself off to everyone, even her family, and became concerned solely with herself and her own needs. She hadn’t been a flame at all— just a glacier too stubborn to melt.
Until Giyuu came along and lit her ablaze.
He closed his fingers over hers, effectively silencing her thoughts.
Her gaze softened. What a silly lovestruck fool she had become after years of mocking lovebirds, even her own sister, for losing their heads over another person. Maybe the wedding was the price she had to pay for all those years of pessimism, all those years of selfishness and uncaring— a punishment for locking herself away.
But she was able to meet Giyuu, know him, and be protected by him; that couldn’t possibly be anything other than a reward.
Shinobu followed suit and intertwined her fingers with his.
Then, with a sudden surge of emotion that overwhelmed her entire body, she flung herself at him, wrapping her arms around him as best as she could.
Their noses brushed, lashes nearly touching as they breathed each other in, just as they had the first time all those nights ago under that brilliant blue moon. Hesitant, slow, desperately clawing against the growing need they both felt for each other, against the fire that burned in both their chests that could never be satiated, never be calmed until they were connected.
So she dove right in.
She fisted her hands in his shirt, holding onto it for dear life as she sunk deeper into the abyss, into him.
When his hands found her waist, they were no longer hesitant but sturdy, firm as they crushed her against him, squeezing her as tightly as he could without hurting her.
She grinned against his mouth. “Glad you’ve finally realized how dire the situation is,” she murmured against his lips.
She tilted her head back, letting herself fall into the depths of the eyes she loved so very much, the eyes that she knew only saw her.
He loved her and she was certain of it, would stake her life on it. Even after everything, all the hidden stares and passing touches, the overbearing fiancé and the constant reminders they couldn’t be together, the stream of people forbidding them from even looking at one another and her controlling father, there wasn’t a doubt in her mind.
This man loved her. And she couldn’t deny how much she loved him in return.
She adored him.
She moulded herself against him, pressing herself as close to him as she could through the fabric of their clothing, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted more, she wanted everything.
She wanted to drown in him, for him to wrap himself around her so tightly that she no longer knew where she ended and he began.
Tomorrow, she would lose everything she had been fighting for since Kanae’s death: her freedom, her independence, him — but she still had tonight.
Tonight, she could lose herself for the last time.
Each kiss allowed her to forget a little more each time, each one sending her back to the peace of the village, to the meadows of her childhood, to the endless forests she could get lost in— all times she’d felt unburdened by responsibilities, relieved of duties, completely and endlessly free.
Each touch from him removed a chain from her worn body, relieving her of the weight that kept her rooted to a single spot.
He freed her.
Tomorrow, she would be a married woman, bound before the heavens to a man who disgusted her for the sake of a throne that didn't care for her, a crown that didn't matter to her. She’d already lost, was already plagued by rumours of her being ‘unclean,’ of giving what was supposedly everything she had to offer to a ‘mere guard.’
Everything to offer. What a ridiculous notion, but it did mean one thing.
She had nothing to lose.
“Giyuu…” she whispered against him. “I want more…”
He pulled away from her as though she’d shocked him and stared at her in wide disbelief.
Like always, she fell into his eyes, allowing their blue to hypnotize her and wrap her in rolling waves.
Without breaking contact, she took his weathered hands and led them to the back of her nightgown, using his fingers to gently undo the ribbons that kept it shut.
He followed her movements with bated breath, watching her carefully in case she changed her mind. In case she didn’t want this.
She smiled at him gently as she led him to the final knot, which dissolved in his fingers.
The gown slipped off her shoulders and pooled at her feet, leaving her in a thin lavender slip. Her chest heaved as she breathed deeply. She had never revealed this much of herself to anyone other than Kanae and the maid who dressed her every morning, let alone a man. She wasn't completely bare yet and she trusted him, but even those factors weren't enough to stop her from shivering.
When she dared to look at his face again, doing her best to ignore the heat pooling in her own cheeks, she was struck by the way his gaze wandered across her body, taking in every new sight in silent awe. He looked at her as though she were something priceless, something he didn't deserve.
The absolute love and passion that loomed behind his eyes made her nervous, but all the more certain of what she wanted. Who she wanted.
“Your turn,” she whispered hoarsely. “If…if you want to.”
“I…do you want to?” he asked raspily, gaze finally returning to her eyes.
She nodded without hesitation— after all, she thought she’d been quite clear through her actions. Her fingers were already tracing a path up his arms to his shoulders, moving to the loose ribbon at the opening of his nightshirt and slipping it free before moving down to the hem.
“Do you want this?” she asked again, not wanting to slip past the point of no return without knowing his true thoughts.
“I should say ‘no,’” he said. “I’m supposed to.”
“We’re supposed to do plenty of things,” she added, "but will we? Answer me plainly: do you want this? Do you want me?”
To her surprise, he quickly kissed her deeply.
Then, to leave her no room to doubt, he whispered, “Yes. ”
So they plunged into the abyss together.
With nothing left to lose, she pulled Giyuu’s shirt over his head, letting it gracefully fall to the floor.
She gazed at him in awe, drinking him in completely. She ran her fingers down his chest and to his torso, following the warmth and the well-defined lines of his skin. She had technically seen some of this before, during their brief but dramatic tumbles into lakes, but he had still been hiding from her then. This time, he was fully bare, his skin and his soul fully exposed to her wandering eyes.
He watched her carefully, shivering at her touch every so often, and it suddenly hit her just how beautiful he was.
The tall, stoic guard that followed her like a shadow was effortlessly handsome, like the classic prince of a fairytale. But this— to see him soft, vulnerable, completely open to her like he had never been before— this was something entirely different to her.
She wrapped a hand around his neck and brought his face towards hers, trapping him in another searing kiss. The action acted as a catalyst, his hands finally touching her properly, running down her arms and brushing against her upper thighs, the latter of which were still covered by her satin slip, which she now desperately wanted off her so he could explore her thoroughly.
His hands moved to the back of her thighs, nudging her to jump up.
Without breaking the kiss, she jumped and wound up wrapped tightly in his arms as he kept her lifted above him, the position forcing her to angle her head downward instead of up for the first time. Wrapping her legs around his lithe waist, she clung to him as he carried her away from the door and further into his room.
Carefully, as though she were made of delicate porcelain, he lay her on his bed.
Later, she would come to realize just how small the bed was and how different the linen sheets were to her cotton ones, and how ultimately, it reminded her of the bed back at the inn; but at this moment, the moment they would belong to each other entirely, she couldn’t notice, let alone care about the surface beneath her. Not when her view upward was so majestic, so mesmerizing in comparison.
Giyuu’s hair fell around his face, giving him the illusion of an obsidian halo, which contrasted his lightly tanned skin.
But his eyes, his eternally expressive eyes that had enchanted her ever since she’d taken notice of their vivid hue, were different from how they’d ever looked before.
The blue was barely visible, barely there as his deep black irises completely engulfed his eyes. The thin ring of blue, if anything, looked like an afterthought, something an artist meant to add originally but nearly forgot. The black nearly took her off guard, though she could nearly see herself reflected in them as he breathed deeply above her.
She could only imagine what she looked like: swollen lips, flushed face, and heaving bosom. Gone was the neat princess of the day— she had been stripped of her costume.
She parted a lock of hair from his face, sighing when it stubbornly returned back to its spot. Still, Giyuu took her hand and pressed it to his cheek, leaving delicate kisses across her palm before finally setting on her pulse point.
“I want more…” she said breathlessly. “I want you.” So very badly.
Giyuu ducked down to kiss her lips once, twice before moving lower, kissing along her jaw and the nape of her neck, her pulse and the hollow of her throat as she sighed happily beneath him, lightly gripping the ends of his scalp.
By then, her slip had made its way up her thighs, leaving her legs exposed. She opened them a bit wider to give his body more space for comfort.
Eventually, the straps of her slip fell to her shoulders and she slowly slipped it off her body, leaving her completely bare save for the thin piece of fabric that still concealed her most intimate of areas. Next to go were his belt and trousers, allowing her wandering fingers to finally explore him to the fullest degree.
And explore each other they did.
It felt as though hours flew by as they thoroughly mapped out each other’s bodies, tracing paths and designs over every bit of newly exposed skin, conquering one another over and over until they’d left their flags, their signatures everywhere they could reach.
When the key moment finally arrived, the moment that they— or really, she— would never be able to come back from, she was more than certain that this was what she wanted.
Him in his entirety. Her selfless, loving guard, the man who saved her and who continued to protect her: Giyuu Tomioka. Hers in every way words could describe in the same way she was so undeniably his.
Although she was a little frightened after all the stories and warnings her nursemaid had given to her and Kanae about a woman’s first time, Shinobu knew Giyuu would never hurt her.
When their moment of bliss arrived, their hands were tightly bound together, fingers intertwined to leave no room for doubt.
I love you.
The words were exchanged dozens of times through whispers and kisses and caresses, repeated until both their hearts and heads were full of one another. Shinobu truly couldn't conjure any image other than him in all his beauty, all his perfection. If someone were to cut open her heart, he would be the only one there at this very moment.
When all was said and done, they gazed at one another in complete wonder, enchanted by each other's light breaths and the feel of their bodies pressed together.
If there was still room for doubt after everything, there was none after that point: he loved her, just as she did him. Although she could have easily figured that out without this entire process, the absolute euphoria she felt by uniting them in this way was indescribable...
As was the knowledge that even though she would be wed to someone very different tomorrow, she had hung on for as long as she could, doing as she pleased and living as she wanted until the very end of the finish line. No matter what, no one would be able to take that achievement or this night in all its beauty away from her.
Even if Giyuu left her side someday soon, which she couldn’t entirely blame him for, they would always have this night.
Notes:
Thank you for reading! This is more of a bonus chapter than anything else that was originally going to be part of Chapter 11, but I ended up separating them for content purposes. Plus, these two deserve a chapter together without any drama before we reach our grand finale (hehe).
Chapter 13: Something Borrowed, Something Blue
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Giyuu’s eyes slowly blinked open, his brain steadily waking up again after an incredibly serene night’s rest.
Shinobu lay against his chest, asleep and completely bare underneath the thin blanket covering them. Her small arms were wrapped around his torso and her breath lightly tickled his skin.
He tightened his hold on her and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, making her hum drowsily in her sleep.
It was only when he caught sight of the clothes scattered across his floor, fine lavender satin tangled with white cotton, that the events of the night before roared back to life in his mind.
The feeling of her soft skin, completely exposed to him in unimaginable ways, the taste of it against his lips over and over until they could barely keep their eyes open…
Her soft cries, her whispers, her reassurances that she loved him completely, as much as her tiny heart could allow and then some.
She had given him something irreplaceable last night, something so utterly priceless that he still couldn’t fathom just how it came to be.
She’d given him herself in all her entirety, completely shedding the persona she wore during the day and exposing herself— her vulnerability, her weaknesses, her fears…
Her love.
The thought of it brought a rush of emotion to his chest. What they’d shared was far, far beyond temporary physical pleasures. It was something that would remain with him for eternity, even when he no longer had her around.
Even when...
He wanted to hold her forever, to protect her always despite her being more than capable of taking care of herself. He wanted to wake up to her like this every morning from now on, see her blush each afternoon, and comfort her every night. He wanted to be there for her as he had been in the village: free of duty, free of restrictions, just a young man and woman who respected one another.
Who loved one another.
The more he thought of seeing her stand beside another man with his arm around her waist and his ring on her finger, the more it made Giyuu’s entire being throb in pain.
Giyuu didn’t want to call her solely his— after all, she was very much her own woman— but he wanted to be that man by her side, to love and cherish her for as long as she would allow.
After all, that’s what she’d asked him to do. She made him promise it.
“Will you always be here?”
A tearful question after a nightmare in a bedroom that was no longer theirs.
“As long as you need me.”
“Promise?”
A promise made without hesitation.
“How long will you want me?” he whispered aloud without realizing it.
Shinobu sighed against him. “Always, silly.”
“You’re awake?”
She hummed in response. “Your heart is racing. Sounds like you’re thinking too much. That’s dangerous for someone like you, Tomioka-san.”
He scoffed but pulled her closer anyways. “Today is—”
“Shh,” she said, quickly covering his mouth with her small hand. “I don’t want to hear it. Let me pretend for a little longer.”
She found his hand where it was draped across her waist and intertwined her fingers with his, sighing contentedly as if she didn’t have anywhere to be today. As if they wouldn’t be destroyed if someone knew she was here.
He looked up and stared at the neat black uniform that hung on the wall just opposite his bed, standing guard like a grim silent reminder of what was to come.
His gaze moved to his window. Just on the other side of that glass, every worker in the palace was busy preparing for the wedding, pushing around carts of food and carrying large bouquets of flowers. It reminded him of the village’s festivities, though Shinobu had definitely been more excited about those.
“You need to go before they find you here.”
Shinobu’s hand tensed in his. Still, she nodded and slowly sat up, combing her hands through her dark hair in an effort to make it listen to her.
“I…” she began, her eyes locked on the wall in front of her instead of him. “I love you. Remember that.”
He nearly smiled at the thought of her undoubtedly pink cheeks, which she was doing her best to hide from view.
He sat up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, pressing her gently to his chest as he leaned against her. He brushed a kiss against her temple.
A silent reply. I love you too.
Each time a button on the back of her dress was fastened, Shinobu felt herself being buried another foot deeper.
The maids were ecstatic as they dressed her, smiling and giggling excitedly amongst themselves as they helped her into her gown and did her hair, blushing happily as they talked about never having seen a royal wedding before.
They were certainly happier than Shinobu was.
The morning she’d spent with Giyuu was glorious— a sweet, tender moment free from responsibilities that felt as though it had taken place in a dream world, but it was a moment that had now passed. Not even its memory was enough to make her forget what was only two hours away.
“You should pinch your cheeks before walking down the aisle, Your Highness,” one maid suggested in a kind voice. “You’re looking pale!”
“I can steal something from the kitchens if you’d like something to eat,” another said excitedly.
Shinobu gave them a small smile and shook her head. “No, it’s alright. I don’t think I would be able to eat it even if you did.”
The maids giggled. “Those are just the nerves, Your Highness. I’m sure you’ll be fine once you see your groom!”
Somehow, Shinobu doubted it.
The maids were right though— a mere glance in the large mirror standing in front of her was enough for her to see just how pale she was, how lifeless her eyes appeared to be, how dark the shadows beneath them were despite sleeping rather well the night before (when they eventually fell asleep, that was).
She couldn’t help but remember Mitsuri on her own wedding day, who had looked exactly like the perfect image of a bride with a bright smile and blushing cheeks that nearly matched her hair. Shinobu had never seen anyone happier than Mitsuri that day…
Shinobu sighed and looked down at the hem of her dress. What would Mitsuri say if she knew what was happening now?
What would Kanae say?
Kanae had wanted her to get married but…not like this. Not to someone Shinobu didn’t care for. Not to someone she didn’t even like.
She put her face in her hands. Kanae, I’m so sorry.
The maids only rubbed her shoulders in attempts to soothe her, likely believing that she had become so overcome with affection and positive emotions that she had begun crying. It only made the knot in her stomach tighten.
“It’s alright, Your Highness, I’m positive you’ll be beautiful out there!” a maid insisted. “Put your head up so we can put some makeup on you to add colour to those cheeks!”
Shinobu reluctantly followed the order and allowed them to cover her face in powders and blush. If she were someone else and she saw how she looked, there was a good chance that even she would believe all was well, though it couldn’t be further from the truth.
A sharp knock came at the door and when a maid opened it, a tall guard stiffly walked in.
He cleared his throat dramatically. “The King has ordered Her Highness to be given a moment alone with…Sir Tomioka.”
Everything in her stuttered to a halt, from her thoughts to her breath to her blood flow, completely stunned by the words that had left the guard’s mouth.
Her father had ordered...?
Even the maids looked at each other in shock before quickly scattering out of the room like frightened mice, barely remembering to bow as they trickled out.
Then Giyuu walked in, his face as stoic as ever.
The guard hesitantly closed the door behind him, leaving her alone with Giyuu.
It was funny how she missed him despite seeing him not very long ago— not that anyone knew about that. He had been extremely careful in sneaking her back to her room earlier that morning.
“Long time no see,” she joked, hoping he wouldn’t notice how her hands trembled.
He walked over to her, forcing her to look up to catch his gaze. He had always towered over her, but the height difference felt particularly significant now. More so than usual.
“I’ll help you finish getting ready,” he said cooly, extending his arm towards the jewellery that had been carefully laid out on a nearby table.
He silently passed her each piece, barely touching her as she took them from his hand. First came her bracelets and a simple pair of earrings that weighed heavily in her hands— not because of their actual weight, but the knowledge of how much they cost.
She instinctively recoiled when he reached for the ruby engagement ring Douma had forced on her. She’d hoped Giyuu would save that piece for last or forget about it altogether.
Yet instead of handing it to her so she could put it on properly as he had done with all the other jewellery, he took her left hand in his.
He swept his thumb across her knuckles, still not daring to meet her eyes as he stared intently at her hand. He lightly traced the pattern of her veins and although she had experienced his touch in far more intimate places the night before, it still brought a shiver through her.
Carefully, he slid the exquisite band onto her ring finger, then intertwined their fingers together.
“Careful,” she whispered, “I might begin believing I’m marrying you instead.”
“Is that a bad thing?” he asked, finally speaking.
“Of course not, but I…I wouldn’t want that compliment to go to your head, Tomioka-san.”
It was a poor attempt at their familiar banter, one that recycled a comment she had already made ages ago, not that she regretted saying it anyway.
He reluctantly pulled his hand away from hers. She tried chasing after it, but he had already picked up the final piece of jewellery: an ornate ruby necklace.
“I’ll put this one on,” he said softly before moving behind her.
She took a deep, shaky breath as soon as she felt the heat of his fingers near the nape of her neck.
His hands draped the necklace around her neck, though she wasn’t certain if the shiver she felt was a result of the cold metal or his touch against her skin.
“I’ll be leaving in a few days.”
Her head shot up and her breath caught in her throat.
But before she could even say anything, his rich gaze locked onto hers in the mirror, leaving her breathless and shifting every single thought that infiltrated her brain into one of him.
It was the same look he had given her last night as he gazed down at her, watching her carefully as she traced the shape of his lips with her finger— wonder, awe, love.
Though this time, it held traces of melancholy.
If she thought about it for long enough, she could convince herself that he was her groom. That he would be the one waiting for her at the end of the altar with the hint of a smile on his face. That he would slip a ring on her finger and call her his in front of the entire kingdom.
Tears welled up in her eyes and began to trickle down her cheek as she struggled to breathe.
She wanted to keep pretending, to keep lying to herself about her reality, to keep telling herself that she would be giving herself away to him.
But she couldn’t. And he knew it too.
He kissed her cheek, lips gathering the fallen tear.
She immediately turned in his grasp, firmly locking their lips together, latching onto him as though doing so would prevent her from meeting her inevitable fate. Her fingers clutched his uniform, wrinkling the carefully pressed fabric around his shoulders. Not that either of them cared.
His hands tightened around her waist and it suddenly occurred to her that he was doing the exact same thing: denying reality, holding onto her for as long as he could, as long as he was allowed.
A knock came at the door.
Just as Giyuu was about to break away from her, she pulled him in for more, throwing her arms around his neck to stop him from escaping.
Just a few more seconds. Just give me a little more.
Please.
They only stopped when the knocking turned more insistent and the maid’s voice began calling. “Your Highness, is everything alright?”
“Go…,” she began whispering, though she couldn’t bring herself to say the fateful word.
“Your Highness!”
Shinobu shuddered through a breath and slowly began releasing Giyuu.
Only when he was fully out of her grasp did she finally look up at him, no longer able to hold back the tears that streamed from her eyes. Only then did she notice that his own eyes were just as watery, making them truly look like a brilliant ocean, a glimmering sea that she could either dip her toe in or sink into completely.
He bowed his head and took her hand in his. He pressed it over his heart just as he had done by the lake, his hair falling over his face to hide his expression from her.
“It was an honour to serve you, Your Highness,” he said with a nearly steady voice. Still, not even he could hide the slight shakiness. “I wish you well in your future.”
Then he let her go, his hand slipping away from hers like water.
He bowed his head once more, giving her only one final glimpse of his shimmering eyes.
Then he turned around, opened the door, and walked through it.
He left the room and just like that, she felt empty. Hollow, as though he had taken her beating heart with him.
Oh, but he had.
He had left the room and just like that, had left her life.
Shinobu sank to her knees, not caring if she got dust on her dress. She no longer had the strength to stand on her own, not when her support, her warmth, her flame had just walked out of that door to never be seen or felt ever again.
He was…he was gone.
The maid rushed to her side and began speaking worriedly, but none of her words sank in.
Giyuu would be leaving the castle soon. After all, she couldn’t possibly ask him to stay here, to linger by her side and watch her belong to someone else, watch her be claimed by someone else, someone he knew she despised. It wouldn’t be fair for him. It wouldn’t be right.
Though she wanted nothing more than to be selfish and ask him, plead for him to stay.
When he eventually left, she would lock him away in her heart and throw away the key so no one would ever be able to take him from her. Even when he and his blue eyes became nothing more than a distant memory, a passionate summer love that had come and gone with the season and the warm breeze, she would keep his image there.
Even when she eventually forgot the exact warmth of his embrace, the feeling of his chest against her back or his fingers weaving through her hair or his lips on hers, even when she would no longer be able to conjure up the exact timbre of his voice or the feeling of his hand in hers, she would always keep his memory safe in her mind.
Even when she would undoubtedly hear of him finding someone else. Of him settling down with a beautiful and much kinder girl back home.
It was why Shinobu had gone to him the night before. It was why their time in the village had been so important.
She whispered his name under her breath, running across the syllables for what could be the last time, savouring them as they passed through her lips.
Years from now, she would repeat his name again and again like a prayer, as though reassuring herself that she truly did know him and had had the privilege of loving him once, even if only for a brief amount of time. She would say it again and again until her mind brought her back to this summer, to the village under the light of the blue moon…
Shinobu felt impossibly numb. Even at the very end, she hadn’t been able to say that fateful word.
Goodbye.
Giyuu slowly walked down the long corridor, numb with regret and impotence. He barely noticed his surroundings and wasn’t even certain of where he was going.
In the end, he had failed to protect Shinobu when she’d needed it most.
The image of her smile burned his mind.
He paused in front of one of the many windows that overlooked the gardens. The ceremony would take place there amongst the colourful flowers and marble statues underneath the summer sun.
How ironic that it would be so near to the forest. How many times had he been forced to chase Shinobu through those same trees as she attempted to escape?
A familiar thought came to mind, one that had been bothering him and nudging him for days now. It had been keeping him awake and distracting him at all hours, constantly summoning his eyes to the vast forest that stretched beyond the castle. He wasn’t entirely certain where it ended, though Shinobu likely knew. He should’ve asked her sooner.
“How do you always manage to catch up with me?”
He could still hear her voice as clear as day in his mind. She had been incredibly annoyed and in a tree when she’d said that, not to mention glaring at him with every bit of anger she could muster in that small body of hers. They had been strangers then, him nothing but a nuisance to her and her nothing but a duty to him.
He had always been able to catch up with her, even when no one else was able to. It was why she’d disliked him so much in the beginning. She had always made it far before he’d arrived, even in the giant dresses her maids liked to put her in.
The forest…
The thought nudged him again, poking him in the arm. He couldn’t dare…
No, even if they made it that far, what would they do afterwards? Where would they go?
The village seemed like an obvious answer, but that would likely be the very first place the King would check. The entire country was risky— there wasn’t a single place where they could hide that the Royal Guard wouldn’t somehow find.
But somewhere else…
He rubbed his shoulder but immediately paused when he recalled how tightly Shinobu had clung to him, wrinkling his otherwise impeccable uniform.
The marriage would take away her freedom, the very thing that Giyuu admired in her. It would imprison her behind these castle walls forever, forbidding her from ever entering the rest of the world beyond. Her forests would be barred from her forever, her wedding ring all but chaining her ankles to the ground.
And in the years that would follow, she would slowly lose her flame regardless of how tightly she’d try to hang onto it and all the while, no matter where he was, he would know that her adventurer’s spirit was dying, slowly wilting until her body followed suit.
Still, it was risky…
“I’ll see you soon!” a happy voice said nearby.
Giyuu looked towards the sound, only now remembering that he was in the middle of a castle hallway and not alone in his bedroom.
Just a little bit away from him was the young prince that constantly followed Princess Kanao around. He waved to her now as she turned the corner, likely going to visit Shinobu.
His eyes moved onto Giyuu, who just remembered that he was still obligated to bow before royalty.
The prince smiled brightly and waved nonchalantly, motioning for Giyuu to lift his head. “You don’t need to do that! You’re Princess Shinobu’s guard right?”
Giyuu hesitated but nodded slowly, unsure of where to direct his gaze.
“You don’t need to be formal with me. I don’t mind,” the prince said, his tone never losing its cheerful nature.
The prince’s invitation to and presence at Shinobu’s ball meant that he was a prominent person from a nearby land. If anyone could help…
It was the final thing to make Giyuu snap into action.
He had sworn to protect Shinobu until she was married, had vowed to put her life before his own whenever necessary.
She wasn’t married yet and this situation was dire. For her, it was a matter of life or death.
If they were caught and he was thrown into a prison cell for conspiracy or treason, then so be it. He couldn’t return home knowing he’d left Shinobu here, miserable and alone. He couldn’t just forget about her and move on, treating her like nothing more than a brief chapter in his life.
Even if it eventually killed him, he knew he had to try.
Giyuu swallowed anxiously. This would be a long shot, but it was one definitely worth taking.
“Can I ask you for a favour?” Giyuu asked.
The prince’s smile softened. “Is this about the princess?”
Giyuu looked away. As though noticing his nervousness, however, the prince spoke again.
“You don’t need to worry about me. I won’t tell. What do you want me to do?”
Giyuu turned back to him and explained the situation as best as he could. It was difficult to read the prince’s expression, though he nodded along every so often and never lost that smile.
When all was said and done, the prince nodded enthusiastically and summoned Giyuu to follow him.
“I’d be happy to give you what you need.”
Shinobu hastily wiped at her face when a light tap came at the door.
“Come in,” she called, despising how shaky her voice sounded.
Unexpectedly, Kanao entered the room in a light pink gown and a gentle smile that never left her face, even as she seemed to take notice of the remnants of Shinobu’s tears.
“You shouldn’t be seeing me this way,” Shinobu said firmly, turning away from her sister in shame. “I look pathetic.”
Kanao said nothing, but Shinobu heard the subtle sound of fabric moving as Kanao came up behind her and hugged her.
“It doesn’t matter. You’re my sister,” Kanao said soothingly.
Shinobu sighed and held onto her sister’s hands.
“You love him,” Kanao added quietly. “Your guard.”
Shinobu turned to her sister in surprise but spotted nothing but genuine joy in her purple eyes, which bore such a strong resemblance to her own. Since when had Kanao been so observant?
“I…How are you so certain?”
Kanao giggled. “I didn’t know for certain, but the prince says he can tell. He says you smell sweeter when you’re with Sir Tomioka.”
Shinobu shook her head incredulously. The prince that had latched onto Kanao was someone special indeed.
“If you wish,” Kanao began, “I can be queen in your place.”
Shinobu shook her head again and tightened her arms around her younger sister.
This wasn’t how it was meant to be. As the older sibling, Shinobu was supposed to look after Kanao, not the other way around. Shinobu’s needs weren’t meant to come first.
“I couldn’t ask you to do that. You’ve been through too much and—”
“We both have. But I can do it,” Kanao said firmly with a strong resoluteness in her eyes that barely left any room for argument. Shinobu couldn’t deny that the offer was enticing, but…
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” Shinobu said, wiping at a stubborn stray tear. “He’ll be leaving in a few days. By the time I return from my…,” she shuddered, “honeymoon, he’ll be gone.”
Like he was never here in the first place.
Kanao’s head tilted to one side. “But you still have today.”
Shinobu sighed and shook her head. “It’s over. He already said goodbye.”
Kanao cupped Shinobu’s cheek and wiped at another tear. It almost made Shinobu laugh— it used to be the other way around.
Though truthfully, Kanae had always been the one to wipe away their tears.
“It’s still early,” Kanao said gently. “Anything can happen.”
Shinobu scoffed. “I would need a miracle.”
Something like a blue moon.
One hour. That was all Shinobu had left. One more hour of freedom.
A knock came at the door and the maids opened it just enough for a guard to pop his head through.
“The King wishes to speak to you, Your Highness,” he ordered before disappearing back into the hallway, not bothering to wait for a reply.
Shinobu took deep breaths, mentally preparing herself to face her father. Still, the all-too-familiar anger that festered in the back of her mind began rearing its ugly head, eagerly waiting to make its appearance.
Her father entered the room, already dressed to magnificence with a velvet fur-lined cape, golden embellishments, and a blinding crown. His worn face was mostly serious, though even she couldn’t deny the gleam that hid just behind his eyes.
As the guard shut the door behind him, leaving Shinobu alone with her father, he softened and began smiling.
“You look radiant,” her father said proudly. “If only your mother and sister could see you now. They would be so proud of you, Shinobu.”
“They would be disappointed in me,” she corrected, though without her usual fire. She already felt like nothing more than a heap of ashes.
“Nonsense, Kanae wanted you to marry—”
“She wanted me to marry for love. I’m almost glad she isn’t here to see me now.”
She caught a hint of hesitation in her father’s face. Using it as an opportunity, she finally turned around to face him directly.
“There’s no use in me wasting my breath to convince you otherwise,” Shinobu spat out. “I know that much.”
For the first time in a long time, her father looked unsure of himself. He subtly nudged his wedding ring, the nervous motion almost completely hidden.
“I arranged this because I care a very great deal for you,” he explained firmly. “I want you to be protected for the rest of your life. If this is the only way to go about it, then so be it.”
She scoffed, shaking her head in disbelief. “This is ridiculous. This is the same conversation we always have. If it won’t change anything, why bother having it again?”
He sighed deeply. “I understand that you’re very upset with me—”
“That doesn’t even begin to define what I feel,” she said through clenched teeth, using whatever was left of the fire within her to grow livid. “At the very least, you should have chosen someone tolerable.”
This time, her father’s emotions appeared to intensify as he puffed out his chest like a proud bird. “That was not a luxury we were able to have. The rumours about you and your guard were far too prevalent. Once the other suitors learned of them, they rescinded their proposals. Prince Douma was the only one who remained steadfast in spite of the stories.”
Shinobu scoffed. “You didn’t bother to share the truth with them.”
“Shinobu, I am not even aware of what truly transpired between the two of you in that village. I’ve chosen to give you the benefit of the doubt, but I’m far from certain that you didn’t… give yourself to him.”
Shinobu rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “Believe what you want. What does it matter?”
Moments of extremely tense silence passed between them with her father looking at her with conflicting emotions and Shinobu glaring at a poor innocent chaise in the corner of the room.
“You truly fell in love with that boy, didn’t you?”
She closed her eyes and took deep breaths, conjuring up images of Giyuu and his rare smiles in her mind. Gradually, her heart began steadying.
“You should know better than to ask questions you already know the answers to,” she whispered calmly without looking at her father.
Of course she loved him. Of that, there would never be a doubt.
Her father nodded slowly as though in understanding. “In an ideal world, I would allow you to be happy with him.”
She smiled pitifully. “In an ideal world, that wouldn’t be anyone’s decision but my own.”
“Yes…I suppose that’s correct.”
Her father steadily approached her and rubbed her shoulder.
Then, he pulled her into a comforting hug.
“Though it may not be worth much,” he whispered, “I am sorry that matters turned out this way.”
Instead of pushing him away, Shinobu hesitantly brought her arms around him, hugging him in return. She said nothing, not out of spite but because she was genuinely at a loss for words. His apology was still worth something to her, after all, even if it wouldn’t change a thing.
She knew he had always wanted the best for her and her sisters. Kanae had made that easy while Shinobu was always one to complicate matters more than what was needed. Her father still wanted the best for her— he had just gone about procuring it in all the wrong ways.
Though, he did do at least one thing right.
Against her wishes, he had assigned a guard to constantly watch over her. To follow her like a detached shadow in every moment of her waking life. To ensure she didn’t run off before her father found a prince for her to marry.
Against her wishes, he’d sent her and that guard on a diplomatic trip that accidentally resulted in the greatest weeks of her life, that accidentally forced her to face her own past and eventually fall in love with the most unexpected person.
And even in her final days, her father had allowed Giyuu to stay by her side, had ordered him to spend her final moments of freedom together.
Perhaps this wedding had always been something inevitable. It would have happened eventually, regardless of whether she went missing for weeks or not. Although she’d fought against it with tooth and nail for as long as she could, it likely would have happened in spite of her best efforts.
Yet it was thanks to her father’s decisions that for those final weeks, she was able to truly live.
“Thank you,” she whispered against his shoulder, though she was unsure if he could hear her or understand what she was thanking him for.
When he pulled away, he lightly kissed her forehead.
“I do wish I could have seen you as a happier bride,” he said woefully. “Nonetheless, I will do my best to protect you for as long as I am able.”
She almost cracked a laugh. Those words sounded familiar to her.
“I know.”
He looked at her fondly. “You’ve blossomed into a beautiful woman, Shinobu. Regardless of what occurs today, I will always be proud to call you my daughter. I will eagerly wait for you outside.”
With a small wave, he left the room, leaving Shinobu completely alone with her thoughts.
The feeling of dread hadn’t left her and only grew greater instead. There was no escape for her now. All that was left to do was walk down the aisle and recite those worthless vows like a mindless puppet.
If this was her punishment, then so be it, she decided, closing her eyes in defeat. She would always have her memories.
“Resigning yourself to your fate? And what happened to my defiant little sister?” a gentle voice scolded behind her.
Shinobu’s head shot up. It was a voice she hadn’t heard in years but still recognized in a heartbeat.
She stared into the mirror, watching wide-eyed as the image of Kanae appeared behind her, tall and elegant in a plum-coloured gown as though she had never left this world to begin with.
Shinobu didn’t dare to move, lest the illusion fade away.
“Kanae…” she found herself whispering. “I…how are you here?”
“That’s far from being important. The real question is why have you become so passive? ”
“Huh?” Had her sister appeared just to scold her?
“This is not how I wanted to see you on your wedding day,” Kanae said with a pout, leaning over Shinobu’s shoulder.
“Well, it’s not how I wanted to see myself either,” Shinobu grumbled.
“Then? What are you still doing here?” Kanae grinned before turning to whisper in Shinobu’s ear. “Do what you do best and run.”
Shinobu’s brows furrowed together in confusion. “What are you—“
She turned to face the image of her sister, but Kanae was gone. Even when Shinobu turned back to the mirror, her sister was nowhere to be found— gone like a fleeting summer breeze.
Something flew past her, settling on top of the mirror's frame.
A purple butterfly.
Shinobu's eyes widened, but before she could touch it, the butterfly flew to the windowsill and flapped its wings once, twice, before soaring into the garden below.
Shinobu rushed to the window and just managed to catch sight of it amongst the rose bushes before it darted in the direction of the forest.
Run.
Was it still possible for her to escape this situation? To leave everything behind like she’d always wanted to and live that priceless life of freedom?
Her mind wrestled with her heart, throwing out an endless barrage of factors she needed to think about as though doing everything in its power to make her reconsider, to force her to stay.
What about Kanao?
She’d assured Shinobu that she could be queen if the situation arose and Shinobu was inclined to believe her. Kanao wasn’t alone anymore— she had someone else in her life, someone outside the incredibly small bubble of her family that was helping her grow into a beautiful young woman, someone who could make her genuinely smile and laugh and would likely protect her no matter what.
Not to mention, he was someone with a title of nobility; someone fit for a princess to marry.
What about your father?
Her father would likely be upset or frustrated if she escaped, but he would likely recover from that shock in due time. He clearly regretted the choices that led them to this point. If she managed to escape, perhaps he would be able to forgive her.
What about your country? Your people?
Shinobu never believed she would be a good queen. Compared to Kanae, she didn’t have nearly enough training or skill to handle the countless affairs that would come her way once she took her seat on that throne. She lacked the elegance, grace, and manners required for diplomatic meetings, not to mention the great amount of patience required to sit through long and boring discussions with judgemental people who disagreed with her and her views. She was impulsive and stubborn and had a temper that wouldn’t do anyone any favours. Her country would be better off without her.
Her mind went silent. It had run out of ways to convince her.
So her heart took the reins.
Forty minutes to go.
Unfortunately, the window was rather out of the question since it led right into the garden where virtually everyone she knew was gathered. She would have to convince the guards stationed outside her door to allow her to go to a different room.
Taking a deep breath, she opened the door.
“He wishes for Princess Shinobu to be moved to her bedroom until the ceremony begins,” Kanao said calmly, smiling up at the guards.
Shinobu paused in her tracks. Well, this was unexpected.
When Kanao noticed her, she only extended her hand. “Come. Father wants you back in your bedroom.”
Shinobu raised one eyebrow but moved forward. This could work in her favour…
“Your Highness, it would be better if the King arrived to tell us himself,” one guard insisted, blocking Shinobu’s way.
Alright, it was time for her to make a move.
“I’m certain my father is incredibly busy attending to all the guests, such as the visiting nobility and your superiors. Do you really expect him to return simply to move me when he has so much to do?” Shinobu countered, putting her hands on her hips. “Besides, in case you’ve forgotten, my sister has as much authority here as he does. She is your princess and should be treated as such.”
The guards looked at each other before shrugging, likely realizing they didn’t get paid enough to argue with the royal family. “As you wish, Your Highness.”
Shinobu smiled smugly and took Kanao’s hand.
Surprisingly, Kanao draped a large blue cloak over Shinobu, completely covering the pure white of her wedding dress.
“There we are. We wouldn’t want the prince to accidentally see you before the ceremony,” she explained softly before placing the hood on Shinobu’s head.
Kanao stuck to Shinobu’s side the entire way there, doing her best to avoid unwanted attention even as they moved through the throngs of people loitering the halls and the servants racing to the garden. It was something Kanao had an odd knack for— she was only noticed, only seen by most people when she wanted to be. Other times, she could conceal herself peacefully in the background.
Shinobu kept her own head down the entire way, letting herself be guided by her little sister. She only raised it once the double doors of her own bedroom shut behind her.
She slipped off the cloak and let it fall to the floor while Kanao pulled away to fetch something from under the bed.
“Why exactly are we here?” Shinobu asked, trailing behind her sister.
Kanao knelt down, pulled out a bundle of fabric, and stood up again, silently handing it to Shinobu.
“Put it on,” Kanao carefully instructed. “We’re helping you escape.”
“Wh-What? But—”
“Don’t you want this?”
“Yes, but—”
Kanao hugged her tightly.
“I told you,” Kanao whispered, “I can do it. All will be well.”
All will be well.
Slowly, Shinobu nodded. “Okay.”
She looked down at the bundle of fabric in her arms, hesitating when she noticed a familiar shade of lavender.
Kanao helped her out of her wedding gown and into a simpler dress which, sure enough, was the same cotton dress Shinobu had returned to the castle in. The feeling of the comfortable fabric against her skin brought warmth to her heart, especially since she thought the dress had been lost for good.
“I saw it in the laundry. I remembered it was yours,” Kanao said.
Next to be added was a white apron with a few kitchen stains on it, a thin white shawl around Shinobu’s shoulders, and a white bonnet on her head to conceal her dark hair.
“You can come out now,” Kanao called out in her soft voice.
The prince that always followed her around emerged from the adjoining room with a kind smile on his face.
“Hello, Your Highness, I’m Tanjiro,” he said, bowing politely in front of Shinobu. “I’m here to help.”
He quickly explained what they were going to do in an excited tone, though there wasn’t much Shinobu would need to do other than look as insignificant and inconspicuous as possible.
When the explanation was over, Shinobu nodded and turned back to her sister.
“Thank you, Kanao,” she said on the verge of being overcome with emotion. “Thank you so much.”
“Of course, though it wasn’t my idea,” Kanao replied. “We only helped.”
Shinobu wrapped her sister in one final hug. She had no idea when she would be able to see her again, but she was certain of one thing.
“This isn’t goodbye,” Shinobu promised. “I will come back one day.”
Kanao nodded in understanding. “I know.”
There was nothing but the glow of positivity in Kanao’s eyes when they pulled away.
“We have to get going,” Tanjiro said with a hint of regret in his tone, as though hesitant to separate the two sisters.
As they left the room, Shinobu waved to her sister one last time.
Twenty minutes to go.
Twenty minutes until the beginning of the ceremony. Fifteen until anyone would notice she was gone.
She trailed just a step behind Tanjiro at all times, keeping her head low and fixed on the ground to avoid meeting anyone’s eye. The bonnet and shawl hid any defining feature and all her jewellery, which Tanjiro suggested she keep to aid her on the road.
In theory, the plan was rather simple. She would follow Tanjiro, acting as a maid he’d commissioned for a favour, to the castle’s west wing, which was relatively quiet compared to all the action in the east, where the gardens were located. The west wing housed all the visiting guests, who were all currently gathered outside. From there, he would take her all the way down to one of the staff entrances under the assumption that everyone was busy outside or in the kitchens.
So far, their journey was going smoothly. Although they’d come across a few guests and servants along the way, none of them seemed to linger on the unlikely pair.
It was only when they neared the center of the castle that connected the east wing to the west that she heard an unfortunately familiar voice speaking.
“—such an honour to be married, especially to such a pretty little bride,” Douma said proudly, bringing a shiver up Shinobu’s spine. If there were any doubts about escaping before, there certainly weren’t any now.
“Walk faster,” she whispered under her breath, hoping Tanjiro would hear it.
Once they set foot into the west wing, however, all was silent, though she didn’t dare to straighten her posture or hold her head high in case someone appeared unexpectedly.
Fifteen minutes.
Tanjiro picked up his pace when they finally reached a set of stairs tucked into a far corner, which led down to the fateful doors. He paused at the bottom of the stairs, looking left and right to make sure no one was around, then allowed her to pass.
“This is where I leave you, Your Highness. I wish you and Sir Tomioka the best of luck!” he whispered cheerfully.
“Thank you,” she replied. “Please take care of Kanao for me.”
He nodded excitedly, then pushed open the door for her.
Twelve minutes.
The summer sun scorched down on her, sending bursts of heat through the fabric of her clothes. The shawl and bonnet felt suffocating on her body, but she didn’t dare to remove them until the castle was far behind her.
She stepped out into the courtyard, which was completely empty except for some stray birds that had found their way there. Everyone truly was on the other end, leaving this side unguarded and barren.
She hoped the castle improved its security once she was gone, though it certainly worked in her favour now.
In front of her stood the tall stone wall that lined the entire circumference of the castle before it ended at the edge of the woods. It and the giant oak doors that kept the other side inaccessible were the only things barring her from that coveted freedom.
She approached the door and knocked twice, then once as Tanjiro had instructed.
Ten minutes.
On the other side, she heard the shifting of wood before one door was slowly pushed open…
Where a pair of deep blue eyes waited for her.
She panted for breath as though she had just run a marathon, the adrenaline quickly flowing out of her body and leaving her an anxious mess.
Though a few seconds later, she noticed a pair of unconscious guards at Giyuu’s feet, who had been the unfortunate souls tasked with guarding an insignificant gate while the rest of the palace celebrated.
She looked from them to Giyuu, whose eyes shifted away shyly.
She shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, he’d had to fight every other soldier in order to reach her.
“You are unbelievable,” she said, stepping over the legs of the fallen guards. “First, you come to see me just to say goodbye. Then, you tell me you’re leaving in a few days, and now I learn that you came up with an entire escape plan? I should kick you for playing with my emotions today.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but she stopped him before he could.
“I’m not finished! I have been an embarrassingly nervous wreck all day. I nearly gave up on having any kind of hope and was ready to resign myself away to a ridiculous marriage, only to end up here, on the verge of freedom, with you.”
“Are you upset?” he asked, his voice nearly calm but still concealing some nervousness.
“I was before I found out that big head of yours was hiding quite a bit of intelligence all along. Who knew?” she teased before taking the final step towards him. “So? What are we waiting for?”
He gave her a knowing smile that made her feel all kinds of warmth inside. He extended one hand with all the elegance of a prince asking her to dance, though the unusual hint of mischief in his eyes promised much more than a mere waltz.
“I hope you can still run quickly,” he said.
Eight minutes.
She scoffed and took his hand. “Who do you think you’re speaking to?”
They raced around the outer edge of the castle, competing against the ever-ticking clock until they neared the small bit of wall that separated them from the gardens, the forest just a little beyond it.
Shinobu smiled widely at him, releasing his hand as she turned to him with a new fire burning her eyes, the promise of her freedom reflected in their violet depths.
“Race you.”
A lady-in-waiting rushed out of the castle, red-faced and panting as she approached the King.
“Your Majesty! T-the princess is gone!” she shouted in a panic, unintentionally notifying everyone nearby.
The crowd, who had already begun growing restless in the summer heat while complaining about the princess’ delay, snapped to attention, surging into an uproar as they speculated amongst themselves.
A runaway bride?
Probably with child, no doubt.
Have you heard about her affair with some guard? That's who she probably ran off with!
A panting guard emerged behind the lady-in-waiting, though he approached the King more closely to avoid alerting the masses.
“Your Majesty…Sir Tomioka is also nowhere to be found.”
“That damned boy!” the guard standing next to the King whispered in scorn. “He kidnapped the princess! Your Majesty, I assure you, our men will find them and bring them back as soon as possible—”
“No,” the King stated firmly, sitting back in his chair with an odd look of relief on his face.
“B-but, Your Majesty!” the same guard sputtered.
“You dare question a decision made by your king?” he said. “Leave her be. She made her choice. Calm down the crowd and escort them back inside. There will be no wedding after all.”
The guards looked amongst themselves in confusion as the chaos continued to ensue around them.
The King, on the other hand, only looked towards the woods that stretched beyond the castle, though there was nothing to see but an endless ocean of trees. If she was the girl he knew her to be, she was likely long gone now.
The King smiled to himself. He’d done his best to control her, to force her into a position he knew would keep her safe when he could no longer protect her himself.
Safe. Never free.
A girl with that much fire within her was impossible to keep caged for long. She would always be like the wind, travelling wherever she wished with whomever she wished.
No one, not even a king, could stop the roaring path of the wind.
His gaze moved from the forest to the endlessly blue sky.
You’ve missed quite the show, Kanae. I think you would have been rather proud.
One Year Later
“You'll need to take it twice a day, once in the morning and once before bed. It tastes bitter, so you can have one small teaspoon of sugar before drinking it, but only one, okay?”
The little girl nodded excitedly, holding the small bottle to her chest. “Yup! Thank you, Doctor!”
Shinobu smiled and patted the girl’s head. “Is your father doing well?”
“Oh, yes! He says ‘thank you’ for the medicine.”
“That’s good to hear! Now, head back home before your mother starts worrying about you.”
The little girl beamed and quickly wrapped her tiny arms around Shinobu’s waist before running out the door. Shinobu locked it behind her and pulled the curtains shut, signifying that her services were done for the day.
She carefully undid her ponytail, letting her hair settle on her shoulders. She combed her fingers through it as she cleaned up the room, tucking empty bottles and herbs away for tomorrow.
When she finished, she sat at her wooden desk and pulled out a piece of paper. In a graceful script that could only belong to a princess, she wrote:
Dearest Kanao,
As always, I hope this letter finds you well and as happy as ever, though I don’t doubt that your days are currently filled with an endless amount of joy. After all, it isn’t every day that a young woman receives a proposal from a kind prince!
The entire country seems to be abuzz with the news of your engagement! I hear many villagers are even beginning to place bets on when the wedding will take place. I do hope you’ll choose the spring— it gives me something to look forward to through the harrowing winter. If only Prince Tanjiro warned me of this land's climate ahead of time, though Giyuu doesn’t mind at all. He says it reminds him of his own home.
I realize I should refer to him as ‘Sir Tomioka’ or simply ‘Tomioka’ in these letters, but it’s much easier to simply call him ‘Giyuu.’ I do hope you won’t be bothered. Forgive me.
A little over a year had passed since her infamous escape with Giyuu. They’d departed near the height of summer, allowing Shinobu to experience her first ‘proper’ winter (as he had called it) and spend weeks shivering in front of the fire.
She came to learn that on the day of her almost-wedding, he had enlisted Tanjiro’s help with more than just escorting her to the other side of the castle— the young prince had written up documents allowing them safe passage into his own land, complete with envelopes with his official seal. That had gotten them onto the merchant’s ship that brought them to what would eventually become their new home.
She and Giyuu eventually settled on a medium-sized village only a few hours away from the sea and a few feet away from a large forest, much to Shinobu’s glee. All the jewellery she’d managed to escape with was pawned to pay for their home and expenses for the first several months, especially a certain ruby ring that was finally given a practical purpose.
As for Douma, she eventually learned through gossip that he’d quickly found himself another bride, though it was likely for the sole purpose of covering up the embarrassment of being abandoned at the altar. Regardless, Shinobu pitied the poor woman that was stuck with him.
Shinobu stretched out her arms and gathered her hands together to crack her tired joints before returning to her letter.
Anywho, regardless of when the anticipated ceremony occurs, I eagerly await my invitation. Though I realize it would be rather…awkward…for me to return given the circumstances of my departure, not even a horde of guards (or thieves) would be enough to keep me away from my little sister’s wedding. If they dare to capture me, well, you needn’t worry. I’ll simply find my way out once more.
Though she doubted it. She had sent Kanao her first letter about two months after settling in this village and since then, they had both maintained a steady flow of contact. Her whereabouts weren’t much of a mystery to anyone who had access to Kanao’s mail, but there had never been the slightest whisper of anyone coming after Shinobu.
She knew she had her father to thank for it. In one letter, Kanao had explained how peaceful he’d become and how she often caught him gazing out at the forest from the window of his study with a content smile on his face. Even when he’d learned of Shinobu’s escape, he’d refused to send anyone after them.
It was another reason she wanted to visit the castle again. She knew she needed to thank him.
I’m still rather good at running, though I fear I’ve lost some stamina from lack of practice. Perhaps I should ask Giyuu to chase me through the nearby forest for old time’s sake. Though I no longer need to escape from guards and responsibilities, I would hate to lose the skill completely.
Speaking of Giyuu, we have another trip planned in the coming weeks. We’ll be visiting a village further north. Apparently, they’ll be holding a rather lavish festival for the Autumn Equinox and I insisted that we simply couldn’t afford to miss it. Not only will I be able to find more medicinal ingredients that don’t grow here, but I desperately want to make Giyuu dance again. He’s been awfully stubborn since we arrived and refuses to even grant me a waltz!
“What are you smiling at?” a cool voice asked, subtly teasing her.
Shinobu looked up from her work to find Giyuu standing in front of her desk, a freshly gathered bundle of wood on the floor next to him. It was still only early September, meaning the summer heat still had yet to disappear for the year, but he still insisted on collecting as much wood as they could before the winter months began.
“I don’t know what you could possibly be referring to,” she said, feigning ignorance. “Oh dear, do you think I’m smiling because of you? Tsk tsk, you’ve let your ego go to your head.”
They both knew it was a lie. Her thoughts were always filled with him and so were her letters to Kanao— not that he knew about that part.
He scoffed and moved behind her, wrapping his arms around her chest and leaning down to place his head on her shoulder.
She shoved away the piece of paper but knew his quick eyes likely already saw exactly what she was writing about.
“Prying isn’t polite, you know,” she scolded.
“Even if it’s me?” he teased, kissing her cheek.
“Oh? And where did you learn to tease like that, hmm? The ‘Sir Tomioka’ I knew wouldn’t dare to utter such words in front of his princess.”
His princess. In every way.
“Too bad it was my princess who taught me how.”
She rolled her eyes, though her instinctive smile immediately gave away her true mood. “You scoundrel.”
Still, she turned her face towards his and trapped him in a kiss. Gradually, the seemingly chaste action morphed into something more, their actions growing more passionate as time crept by. Eventually, she wrapped her arms around his neck and he lifted her out of her chair with practised ease as though she weighed nothing.
He carried her to the couch where they fell into a fit of giggles, turning their searing kisses into playful, open-mouthed ones where her laughs fell into him.
His arms remained strong around her, firm and protective as though he’d never stopped being her guard.
To her, he never did stop being her guard. He simply became that in addition to many other titles. First, her enemy, the antagonist in her fairytale of rebellion and defiance. Then, her friend, her companion in an unfamiliar world.
Then, her crush. Her first love. Her first kiss. Her first so many things.
Her heart swelled with how much she loved this silly man.
He was her everything: her knight in shining armour, her Prince Charming, the man who had saved her from her cage and from herself.
Giyuu was her miracle— the kind that only happened once in a blue moon.
One of my patients told me that they spotted Giyuu leaving the local jeweller’s shop one afternoon with a funny smile on his face and a small box in his hands. I do wonder what he might be up to…
I’m kidding. I’m terribly sorry to Giyuu, but it’s rather obvious what he’s up to, isn’t it?
Or at least, as obvious as the answer I’ll give him.
Sending love from a sea away,
Shinobu.
The End
Notes:
A huge thank you to everyone for reading! I feel like I've grown so much through this story and it's so bittersweet to see it finally come to a close. Thank you to everyone who read, gave kudos to, and reviewed this thing, because I honestly don't know if I would've been able to pull through without all your amazing feedback along the way!
Also, huge thanks to everyone who's been reading from the very beginning and suffering through my many hiatuses and slow updates. You're all incredible and thank you so much for sticking around!
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