Work Text:
I.
Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me
But bear this mind, it was meant to be
Mingyu was having a lot of thoughts these days, about his life, to reflect how far he'd become. He was so grateful they could go around the world to meet their fans, share their music, it was his dream since before debut. Now that he's here everything just seems unreal. Debuting with 13 members wasn't really easy like life could be suffocating. With hyungs and dongsaengs to be taken care of, your life would never be quiet. .
Not only about his life, he also thought about a certain someone. He was glad he had the same age friend in his group, there are other members of course, but it kinda felt more comfortable if you have someone of your age living the same dream as you. That someone was Minghao. There's also Seokmin, but that guy really has the attention span of a five years old, also he already got Soonyoung-hyung to have fun with, he could swear that they shared one brain cell or something.
Back then before debut, he and Minghao never had a chance to talk much since he always stuck with Jun-hyung since they both are Chinese. He didn't like it for whatever reason, that's why sometimes he always searched for a way to talk to Minghao, to practice his Korean he reasoned. He never really understands why but he just wants to have his attention.
Then their friendship grew throughout the year, despite their personalities that seemed really different, like he could be so hyped and having too much energy in one body while Minghao tends to have a quieter personality. There are moments when they're having fun, like they love teamed up to make fun of other members, they listen to the same music and do a small dance together, also their love for fashion and art. It was his favorite to be honest, to spend time shopping with him or visit art galleries together, it was special because it was something that only they could understand. They also could be serious at times. He likes talking to Minghao about his concern about their future, their dreams, and everything that matters.
Like now for an example, they are on tour and of course Minghao and he were sharing a room with one big bed in the middle. He was glad because unlike Jeonghan who gave many complaints whenever he's rooming with him, Minghao was more like easy to adapt kinda guy.
He already took a bath, did his night skincare routine, and was ready to sleep. But he still having a post-tour euphoria and it seems the energy hasn't left his body so he cannot sleep. His mind was wide awake. Minghao also sounded like he was having the same problem since he heard his body being turned a couple of times beside him. So they decided to just talk about nothing really, just to fill the silence. The conversation grew more serious like they rarely have a moment like this. He didn't even realize that now they're facing each other and Minghao kept playing with his hands. It's funny how his big palm hands were somehow fit with Minghao's lean and long fingers, like a puzzle piece.
He never really had a thought about his best friend like this but somehow this situation, the melancholy of a night, them sharing soft moments like this, made everything clear. Then a realization just hits him. How he was so comfortable with him, how somehow he felt happier if he laugh at his jokes, how uneasy his feelings whenever he saw his best friend being too close with other members, how he always enjoyed skinship with him.
He's in love with his best friend.
He doesn't know what to do with that information, he doesn't know if his best friend knows or hell if he is having the same feeling as him, but he prays to the deity above that he could still be with him and have more moments like this and nothing ever go wrong.
In the morning, they ended up huddled with each other. Minghao's head on top of his chest, and his hand on Minghao's waist. They look so domestic but when Seungcheol knocks loudly at their door to wake them up, the mood just ruined and they just went back like usual, like nothing happened. Mingyu decided to keep the feeling to himself.
II.
You can't go to bed without a cup of tea
Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep
And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep
Though it makes no sense to me
When they moved to a different dorm, they got a lot more space for themself. The members were so glad about the moving day. But because there's a lot of them, they still have to do the rock paper scissors to manage the dorm room, to decide who sleeps with who. In their old dorm they have to sleep together like five or six of them in one room together. So it was like heaven for them now.
Mingyu was actually nervous because he never got a chance to share a room with Minghao, maybe only a couple times when they were on tour(yeah we never talk about that again), but for a year or so? He doesn't know what to think yet. So he thought maybe the universe would take pity on him and just put him in a room with Wonwoo or someone else, but then fate said differently and put him in a room with his best friend, his crush, the one and only, Minghao. Funnily, all his overthinking was washed out in a matter of days. Because everything just fell into place easily. They didn't think too much about who takes which bed, where they put their clothes, their camera, even Minghao's painting stuff. It may be much easier because Minghao had a taste in interior design and they have a similar taste too so Mingyu just quickly agreed to everything Minghao said.
A month into rooming together with Minghao felt really comfortable already. They both really respect each other's spaces, and luckily they both are the cleanest person in the group (maybe beside Joshua but he's rooming with Seokmin and lord helps him because Seokmin is a mess). Their room is their safe haven. They already built a habit of spending time talking to each other like old times, sometimes they also like to watch a movie before they sleep. Even the members in their dorm already know about their wine drinking schedule, sometimes inviting them to join them and enjoy the night just talking. Mingyu also likes to notice that Minghao loves to read a book while listening to music, sometimes when he doesn't notice, Mingyu likes to take a picture of him because his face looks so serene. Like sometimes he pursed his lips when he doesn't know the word and asked Mingyu about it, also he liked to take a note or scribble something in his book. Those little things he likes to remember about him.
Another habit that he really liked was Minghao is known as the healthiest person in the group, even their fans know that. So recently when Minghao was having a schedule back in his hometown, his mother was always making him a cup of tea and apparently it was good for your health. Then his mother insisted that he brought back a lot of packages so he could make the tea for himself, and also shared it with other members. And that's how he found Minghao one night, holding a cup of tea near his mouth to give it a blow, with his sweater paws, glasses fogged up a little because of the hot steam from the tea and he was trying so hard not to combust right in the spot because a cardiac arrest or screaming because of how freaking cute the scene in front of him was. Seriously it was really hard and thank the lord the other didn't notice the sudden blushing on his face.
He slept dreaming of a boy with glasses that night.
One day, because of their busy schedule, Minghao didn't notice that his favorite tea was running out. Mingyu, a best boy that he was, joked that he will read him a story or so, so he could maybe fall asleep easier listening to his boring story. What he didn't expect was Minghao asking him for a cuddle.
A cuddle.
With Minghao.
Maybe he was already asleep and maybe this was just a dream, a really good dream. But no, Minghao already walked to his side of the bed and asked for permission to climb up his bed. All of his life, he already met with many sides of Hao, like the unbothered turned to bashful one whenever the member teasing him, then there's also the cute Hao where he looks like a little fairy (remember dirty dirty jam jam?), the current Hao which in his opinion was his superior look (mullet is really good on him like there's nobody can achieve the coolness level of Minghao with mullet), and then this Hao in front of him is his favorite one, the only side that he showed only for his family, he looks really soft and almost child-like. With a sweater twice as big on his body (he noticed that it was his missing sweater), one hand rubbed his half-lidded eyes, how can Mingyu say no to that? It wasn't like they haven't shared a bed before, in fact they've done it a lot, but it was before he realized he has feelings for his best friend.
Fuck it.
He then scooted over and let Minghao join him in bed that only had space for one person. He lets Minghao find his comfortable position, facing each other, his head under his neck while his hands put in front of him near Mingyu's chest, he can feel the soft breath tickling his neck. He boldly put his hand on Minghao's waist, since there's no negative response he too then let himself to get comfortable. He just hopes that Minghao cannot hear how loud his heart is beating right now.
"Do you still want me to read you a story?"
"Yes, if you can.." Minghao replies softly. Mingyu held himself to not coo at the man in front of him.
Then Mingyu starts his story, praying for whichever deity up there to help Mingyu make up a story for him. Not long after, maybe 5 minutes into the story, he heard a mumbling from Minghao. He thought he was protesting because the story was too boring for his liking. Then he took a glimpse of the man under him, but he could only see his eyes closed and his beautiful eyelashes.
"Okay, I will. Bye bye shhshh…" He hears Minghao mumbling again.
God he's so cute he thinks. Who knows Minghao talks in his sleep. He put the scene in front of him to the file in his brain as one of the best memory of Minghao so he could cherish it forever.
Since the night of cuddling session happened, he always waited for Minghao to sleep first. Sometimes he heard him mumbling in Chinese too and reminds himself to find the translation later (he didn't want to ask Jun-hyung because he wants to keep the words that Minghao said to himself even if it was just nonsense).
III.
I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape
They were recording for their new title track for the album. All the members love the song, it was definitely there on top of the list of Woozi-hyung's masterpieces, like he loves all the songs that his hyung created, but this one is just so fun and makes him think of summer. He's always in awe with his group, every member is a talented bunch of people and he's always so grateful for their existence. This time, Minghao and him decided to go together for the recording, since their schedule is rarely met. All of the performance team are gonna meet later for discussing the choreograph, while all the hip hop team's raps already done for the title track, except a couple one for another song.
Mingyu went first for the recording, he practiced a lot the night before like usual so he wouldn't need to take a long time to record. As he said, he really likes this song and particularly his part too. After a couple of tries he finished and even Woozi-hyung complimented him. It makes his heart proud a little, because all the members know how strict and serious Woozi-hyung was on producing his song. After all, they're all aiming for the same goal, to make the best song for their fans. It was then Minghao's turn to do the recording. His part was not long enough in his opinion but well it's hard to slip longer lines when you have 13 members. Before he went into the recording booth Mingyu said good luck to him, and he got a warm smile in return. Boy he's so whipped. Despite the few lines, it took longer for Minghao to finish his recording since he seems unable to get a couple of notes right, even Woozi scolded him a few times. He doesn't know why but seeing Minghao walked heavily out of the booth broke his heart. After they both say thank you to Woozi-hyung and Bumzu-hyung, they walk out of the studio silently. Mingyu doesn't know what to say so he just grabbed Minghao's hand to show support, Minghao just gave a sign something like 'I'll tell you later in the dorm'. So he let it go because Minghao have to meet with the rest of the performance team, and Mingyu went to find Vernon or anyone else so he didn't dwell with the thought of upsetted Minghao all day (except he can't).
Back in their rooms that night, after they all showered and were ready to sleep, things got quiet real fast. He almost thought that Minghao had already fallen asleep. But then he heard Minghao hushed voice,
"Do you think my voice is weird?"
"Huh?" He asked dumbly.
Mingyu thought he had misheard the question when he looked at his best friend's side, he could only see a harsh line of his facial which was facing the ceiling. He looked like he was in a very deep thought.
"I always thought that my voice was weird, don't you think so too?"
He then sat up abruptly and walked and sat on his best friend's bed.
"What makes you say that?" He tried so hard not to squirm because Minghao was staring blankly at him. It really made him feel uneasy.
"Well it's true. My voice is high and weird like a whiny little kid. Compared to Seungkwan or Seokmin, like why am I still trying Mingyu?" His voice cracked at the ends.
Ah so it was because of that his best friend was sad today, why didn't he notice it earlier? Mingyu couldn't take it anymore and just hugged his best friend. He let him talk again while rubbing his shoulder and his mouth on top of Minghao's head.
"Do you maybe think about why I got fewer lines? Maybe it's because of my weird voice?"
"Shhhh, what made you think of that Hao? You know none of that is true."
"I've read some comments, gosh I know it's stupid to read comments like that but I can't help it since it was everywhere. They said why still give that chinese boy a line, his pronunciation wasn't even good, he doesn't deserve to be in the group, and many more! I know my Korean wasn't the best Mingyu, I'm trying, but I'm tired.."
He saw tears fall in his best friend's cheek and quickly brushed it softly with his thumb.
"Hao, listen to me, please. Do you remember when I first talked to you? I was a blubbering mess. But you know why after that I always find a reason to talk to you? It was because I love listening to your voice. I think your voice was very cute, the tone in every word you said was so adorable. It made me want to only listen to you talking for hours. Now that your Korean was better, you articulate every word carefully and I couldn't be more prouder than that! I mean you always sound like you quoted from a book or something, you always made me felt like I'm so dumb." He heard a soft laugh from Minghao that encouraged him to say more.
"I know I never said it to you before and I regret it, because you deserve to hear this Hao, your voice was amazing okay? Don't compare it to Seungkwan or Seokmin, I mean they're our main vocal for a reason you know? Those people that gave negative comments about your voice didn't know how hard you practice Korean for hours everyday, how you always asked Seungkwan to give you tips to help your vocal to be better, they didn't see behind all of that, and I felt sorry for them. They chose to be blind to all of that because it was easier to judge than to see how great of a person you are."
He didn't know the courage suddenly struck him and made him say all of that. It's just really heartbroken to see your best friend in the state like that, he felt like he want to keep Minhgao in his embrace forever, shielding him from all those malicious comments, because fuck them that's why.
"Thank you Mingyu. You don't know how much all of the words that you're saying means so much for me." He finally said.
"You know I meant every word that I said right? You have to believe in yourself because I believe in you too Hao. You have all member beside you to help you plus the very best person in the world, which is me."
"Yeah and you just ruined the moment!" Mingyu was glad he could hear Minghao giggling again. They both talked and cuddled all night until they both fell asleep together. He decided in the future he would have that as a mission to give as many encouraging words to Minghao every day.
IV.
I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes
When you smile
They were having a free day on the day before their Japan tour. Minghao and Mingyu decided they would stroll around the town while bring their own camera. One thing that they have in common was their love for photography. They love to take each other's photo, like they have already known which angle looks best for each other. Mingyu was asking all the members if they wanted to join them or not but apparently that was a wrong thing to say since they only sent him suggesting looks and only teased him more.
"Ah Mingyu but isn't it a date?" Soonyoung jumped in front of him.
"Yeah we don't want to bother you both." Joshua said innocently.
"If you're messing with my sunflower, you know what you'll get yeah Gyu?" Jeonghan gave him an eerie smile while patting his shoulder, he shuddered, then tried to shrug Jeonghan's hand from his shoulder.
"You guys! It wasn't like that! We- we're just best friends!" Why are all his members all such a little shit, and how did they know about his little crush? Was he that obvious?
"Yeah and our dawn is hotter than day." Wonwoo said flatly.
"Did hyung just say our song for a joke? Gosh I can't with you all anymore." All the members were just laughing at him. He can't help but pouting right now, he knows he sounds childish but deep down he was just embarrassed. He was lucky Minghao took so long to be ready, he probably could wear a flour sack and still make it look good.
"Hey! What are you guys laughing about?"
The topic of their conversation just came and slung his hand around Mingyu's shoulder and made him blush even more.
"Nothing Minghao-hyung! Mingyu-hyung is just asking for what we want for our dinner. Right Mingyu-hyung?" Chan said while grinning.
That's it, his members are all literal spawn of demons.
"Yeah because our Mingyu love us so much and don't want us to starve right?" Seokmin shouted from the couch.
"I'm gonna sacrifice you all to the satan so I could have a better family!"
"Minghao-hyung did you hear that? How could he be so cruel to us!" He heard a loud gasp from Seungkwan followed by fake crying on Vernon's shoulder. Vernon, who's already used to his antics, could only give Mingyu a sorry look.
Lost focus, he then felt a soft slap to his shoulder,
"Behave Mingyu."
"Yeah, behave Mingyu." Jeonghan smirked.
Mingyu then only could accept his fate to be around all his crazy members. He has to bring a dinner home apparently, they're lucky he loves them so much. Decided it was enough teasing of the day, Mingyu and Minghao then said goodbye to all the members then heard a faint "Good luck on your date!" from Jun-hyung, and a loud laugh from all the members, he just hoped Minghao doesn't hear all of that.
Their date, scratch that, their walk around town was so fun. They took so many photos from each place they visited. He always loves Japan, they don't mind other people's business here, from other people's eyes they probably looked like a couple on a date but everybody paid no mind to them.
"Come on Hao, don't give me that model looks again. I want to see your pretty smile!"
They were standing under a big blooming pink cherry tree and it makes Minghao look more angelic. Wind softly blew his fringe and made it messier, but he still looked ethereal like that. He could spend here for eternity just having walking around or to have a picnic, feeding each other a snacks, and taking thousand pictures of this beautiful man in front of him.
"Do you think my smile is pretty?" Minghao looked at him with his head tilted, faint blush on his cheeks, that look alone could send him to heaven right now.
But shit he said it out loud is he?
"U-mm.. yeah I mean, it's always been.. your smile, um pretty I mean."
Why does he suddenly lose his ability to talk? He doesn't know, he already felt his face burning.
"Hey Gyu, thank you. I mean yours doesn't look so bad either." He smiled softly at Mingyu and he thought he was ready to meet his creator now.
After that moment, the date just got better and better. Minghao was dragging him to another place, excited like a little kid, and he realized that he was holding his hand. And if they kept holding hands after that, they both didn't say a thing because deep down he really didn't mind that.
V.
You've never loved your stomach or your thighs
The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine
They were having a jacket photoshoot for their new album. Mingyu really likes the concept for their new comeback, all very summery and he loves summer. He could wear less clothes, showing up the result of his gym session with Seungcheol-hyung. He also really wants to give their stylist a package of meat or something since they really did their absolute God's miracle for Minghao's outfit and hairstyle. Good lord, seeing him with an oversized white shirt really made him so weak. Like he knew he probably already said it a thousand times but Minghao really looks so soft like an angel. He also needed to thank Seungkwan for nudging him because his jaw sure dropped a couple of times seeing Minghao on that shoot.
They also did an outdoor photoshoot, if he said Minghao was like an angel with the white oversized shirt, now with the colorful one he really looks like a fairy. He cannot even comprehend what he just saw, he seriously needed a grip. He doesn't know how he managed to go through all the day but he is so glad that it would be their last photo shoot. After that the members will have dinner together and they're already planning to get loose for the night.
The last location for the photoshoot apparently was the place for them to stay the night, while the staff and their managers all went home, they left them there just to do whatever they like. As usual they divided their job to who's cooking and who's gonna prepare the table and everything went into motion. He got a job to grill the meat as usual, while Minghao offered to help. They work side by side while joking and talking about nothing and everything. Hearing Minghao giggled was like his personal shot of dopamine, it automatically gives instant happiness. It's funny how they got really close these days, it's like they had their own little world. Don't get it wrong, they already close back then but after everything that happened this year, they seem getting closer than ever.
"Guys! The soup and ramyeon are ready! How's the meat?"
Seokmin's voice really made them both jump, he really needed to control the volume of his voice.
"Jeez Seokie, you don't need to shout in our ears!"
"It's your both fault for not listening to Jeonghan calling, hyung has called three times already!"
Did they really doesn't hear Jeonghan's shouts? They shared a look at each other and hurriedly started collecting the cooked meat and joined the others.
The night's vibes were really good, he always enjoyed time like this when he could just happily eat and talk and joke with his members without a care of public's eye. Apparently most of the members are already drunk and already retreating back to their own bedroom. Mingyu then took Minghao's hand and dragged him to their shared bedroom. When he flopped on the bed he really wanted to just close his eyes and sleep, he was a little bit tipsy himself, but he saw Minghao just sitting on the edge of the bed beside him.
"Come on Hao, you need to change up your clothes."
"Don't wanna." He pouted.
"I'll help you change up come on."
"Make me."
The tone of his voice suddenly became lower like he's suggesting him to do something. Minghao then suddenly got up and climbed on top of him.
"Can I kiss you?"
Mingyu who's brain suddenly short circuited just could give him a nod and things escalated from there. This wasn't the first kiss that he imagined he would get from Minghao but he tasted really good, first it was just a touch of the lips but then Minghao's tongue just intruded his lips and he really tasted like that wine and green tea cake that they eat for dessert. Suddenly hands were everywhere, chest, hair, cheeks, and then he tried to pull up Minghao's shirt from his head. Mingyu then took a second just to admire what's in front of him, he saw his toned chest and his flat stomach. He already saw his best friend topless even naked a couple of times, but this is the first time he saw it in this context and he never really felt like wanting so much this way before. God really took time to create the man in front of him. His hand went to travel to his waist and Minghao suddenly froze up and jumped back out from on top his body.
"I-i'm sorry Gyu, I need to go."
Before Mingyu could say anything Minghao already ran outside leaving Mingyu confused and asking himself what did he do wrong? Did he read the moment wrong?
+ I
You never love yourself half as much as I love you
And you'll never treat yourself right, darling, but I want you to
If I let you know, I'm here for you
Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you..
All members were doing a vlive an hour before the music video release, doing the usual hyping the fans to welcome their new album. Their number for the pre-order albums already reach half a million. So they are so positive about this comeback since they put more effort in this one, but the anxious feeling is still there.
But their comeback was a hit, to be proud is an understatement since they got a million views for their MV in an hour. Everyone loves the music video, the song, the looks, everything. They focus on music shows preparation, perfecting their choreograph until morning for two full weeks.
By the end of the promotion everyone was exhausted but also very happy. They got a lot of wins, interacting with many fans of the fan meeting.
Mingyu never had a chance to talk to Minghao about that night, since every time they went back to the dorm they were always too tired and just went to sleep after they took a shower. He only noticed that Minghao has become more quiet and always trying so hard to not meet with Mingyu's eyes, maybe he was really avoiding him but he doesn't want to think too much and just assumed that he was tired because of the packed schedule. He didn't even want to think about what happened back then with Minghao. He just wished he would talk to him or something.
Again it seems fate really works in a mysterious way, well maybe in the form of their meddling members. So apparently they had a plan to lock himself up with Minghao in a dance practice room. He knew he should be suspicious when Soonyoung and Chan said they wanted them to show him their solo choreograph because they are always so secretive about it so Mingyu doesn't think twice to agree.
He then saw Minghao alone in the room. He lied down on the floor with his eyes closed and seemed to hasn't noticed Mingyu's presence yet. Should he cough or something or gah what should he do?
Too busy fighting his own turmoil, he saw Minghao already looking at him, expression hard to read. It made the resolution in his heart crumble, he doesn't know what to say.
"I'm sorry." He suddenly heard Minghao said.
"I-"
"No, you need to hear this. Promise me you don't interrupt me until I finish talking."
He nods weakly. If you can see him right now he probably looked like a kicked puppy.
"I'm sorry for running away like a coward that night. To tell you the truth I'm not really drunk, I'm not even drinking much from that party, but then you responded to my kiss and touching me and I seriously panicked because the thought of me ruining our friendship is killing me. Also you are probably drunk so I decided to stop doing whatever we did back then. I felt so bad. The thing is I really like you Mingyu, I really like the attention you gave me all this time, the way you compliment me always gives me a boost of confidence. The day when I felt so low, you were always there for me, reassuring me over and over again, and for always hearing me complaining about everything. We have many things in common, we shared so many things together, you're like my other half.. and I fucked up."
He looks at Minghao tearing up and the thing is Mingyu can't help anymore and walks up to stand in front of Minghao, slowly hugging him. His head still ducked down so he lifted his chin, "You idiot," and kissed him. This time it was sweeter, no rush, just them feeling everything for a moment.
"Wait, why are you kissing me?" Minghao's abruptly backed down a little.
"Seriously Hao? I can't believe people say you're smarter than me. I have liked you since our debut day and my feelings have only been grown ever since. All this time I've been trying to show you how much I love you. All those compliments, our little date, everything was real. Also you're not wrong, I also wanted you that night.. but then you left me! I thought I'm the one who did the wrong thing."
Minghao searched for any hesitation or regret in Mingyu's eyes but he didn't find one. He was telling the truth. His feelings were reciprocated. He then hugged Mingyu again while Mingyu whispered sweet nothing in his ear. At the end of the day they both cried in each other's arms.
"I love you too."
Bonus:
They both could hear a ruckus outside their practice room, apparently all their members was outside all this time.
Soonyoung and Seokmin's cheers was the loudest, they were asking (forcing) them to have a celebration dinner.
Seungcheol and Jeonghan was having a bet for the longest time and Jeonghan said something like, "I told you they were going confessed, now pay." Jeonghan is an evil.
Jisoo was silently thanking God.
Seungkwan who's scolding Vernon for still being oblivious to everything, "They are dating Vernonie!!".
Woozi just sighed loudly while saying Finally.
Wonwoo and Jun high-fiving each other.
and Chan just laugh.
I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth
But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to
I'm in love with you and all your
little things.
- 끝 -