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Atsushi could focus on nothing but the glint of the stars in the countryside as he laid on the floor.
The stars were never this bright in the city.
He squeezed his eyes tightly, trying to ignore the reincarnation of the headmaster in his mind, saying that he should not have made such a careless mistake on his mission. He found it hard to care, now that he was lying here, warmth flowing from his stomach and coating his body.
He could barely focus on Akutagawa as he stumbled a bit, collapsing on the grass next to Atsushi.
“You were always destined to fall before me, weretiger,” said the older man.
“I fought three-quarters of that whole battle, Akutagawa.”
Akutagawa huffed, silent as the two of them admired the stars. His eyes shone brighter than Atsushi has ever seen them, though perhaps that was simply because he had never been this close to the man before. Akutagawa’s hair was spread around the grass, creating a dark halo around him.
Mafiosos shouldn’t be this pretty, Atsushi thought bitterly.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but smile. What a sorry sight the two of them must now be—enemies forced to work together, both lying on the ground, too helpless to have a meaningful conversation. He closed his eyes again, trying to awaken the tiger’s regenerative power.
“You’re gonna die with that ugly expression if you keep doing that,” Akutagawa said, turning to face Atsushi.
You’re gonna die and you’re still ugly, is what Atsushi wanted to reply. Instead, he stared back at Akutagawa. “Do you think we could’ve won?”
“Double black could’ve.”
“Do you really think so?”
Akutagawa was silent.
“It’s like I said before, I think Dazai—”
The man twitched, head shaking at the name and then wincing at the effort. “I failed.”
“We failed together.”
“I should’ve—”
“I didn’t practice this hard for you to dismiss my efforts like this,” Atsushi says, trying to keep his tone lighthearted despite the sourness he felt.
Something clouded over Akutagawa’s eyes. He looked back up at the sky.
“The stars are beautiful.”
Atsushi sighed at Akutagawa’s aversion to his statement. “Do you think we’re friends in another timeline?”
“That’s a stupid question. There are infinite timelines, there has to be one where we are acquainted.”
“Can we be friends in this timeline?”
“Weretiger-”
Something about Akutagawa made Atsushi’s heart beat faster. He’d have to be stupid not to recognise it. “Please?”
Akutagawa smiled softly. “You don’t have to beg for my friendship, weretiger. I’d like to be your friend, too.”
Atsushi’s face felt warm. “Actually, I-” his face contorted as he tried to find the courage to speak. “I like you.”
“Huh?”
“It’s okay!” Atsushi says, waving his hands a little (the action hurt. Atsushi wondered why he had to gesticulate so dramatically all the time). “I don’t expect anything back, I just wanted to tell you before we leave.”
“Before we leave,” Akutagawa mused. “What a strange way of referencing our situation.”
Atsushi laughed, not having the heart to be upset about his unrequited feelings. He put a hand to his stomach, feeling the heat spread to his hand and cover his fingers in its metallic smell.
“I like you too, weretiger.”
His heart jumped in his chest. “Really?”
“I don’t lie.”
Atsushi shuffled a little closer, face a bit redder than it should be. “Can I kiss you?”
“It wouldn’t be a bad way to go.”
Atsushi grinned and pushed his lips onto Akutagawa’s. It was soft and sleepy — nothing that Atsushi had associated with Akutagawa before this moment.
What would this kiss have been like if the two of them were at full strength? Is there a timeline in which the two of them get to live together?
Akutagawa pulled away, looking at Atsushi’s furrowed brows and placing a kiss onto his forehead. “I hope we’ll be together in the afterlife.”
There’s no afterlife for people like us, Atsushi thought. A look at Akutagawa’s wistful expression told him that the other man knew the same, so he just nodded and put his arms around Akutagawa.
“This isn’t a bad way to go,” Atsushi said as he pushed his head to Akautagawa’s chest, ignoring the warmth of the man’s blood.
“Not bad at all, Atsushi.”