Chapter 1: Why can't I transmigrate into a normal character ?
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
The moment Shen Yuan opened his eyes, his first thought was relief that he had survived Maigu Ridge, and that at least the world didn’t seem to have ended. His second thought was confusion when he realized that he was on a soft bed—maybe not the best quality, but considering the fact that he lived as a rich second gen his first life and a rich peak lord the second, he was so accustomed to luxury that his opinions should probably be taken with a grain of salt. Worryingly, much stranger than him lying on a low quality bed rather than the hard ground, was the fact that he didn’t recognize his surroundings nor the outfit he was wearing. He also seemed to have… shrunk? Did he enter a qi deviation after falling unconscious which made him shrink into a child? Knowing shitty Airplane’s writing and his own extremely shitty luck, it was entirely possible.
Since Shen Yuan was already used to these kinds of bullshit situations, he calmly got up and prepared to leave the room. Shen Yuan had one thought on his mind—gotta kill airplane bro. According to Shen Yuan’s logical thought process, whenever something misfortunate happens, it's always Shang Qinghua’s fault. No questions asked.
Unfortunately, his plans of authorial homicide were put on hold, because the moment he walked out the door, he bumped into an unfamiliar kid. This kid was clearly not a Qing Jing Peak disciple. Not only did Shen Yuan not recognize him, the kid also boldly grabbed his arm; the only person who would ever dare do so was Binghe who had no concept of personal space. The moment Shen Yuan’s arm was grabbed, the stupid system sent out a loud alert, flashing big bold messages in front of his eyes.
[Welcome to Heaven’s Official Blessing. You have been bound to the role of Shi Wudu. Starting B Points: 100.]
Shen Yuan was shocked shitless. He couldn’t believe that he had actually transmigrated into yet another novel. Not only that, but he wasn’t even the villain but a cannon fodder this time. While he could accept being cannon fodder, simply following his dreams to live a normal and plain life while dying of old age, OF COURSE he couldn’t be just any normal cannon fodder. No that would be way too easy for him. He had to be cannon fodder that dies horrifically with his head and arms ripped off.
Shen Yuan really thought that he had finally died on Maigu Ridge after getting fucked by his favorite protagonist, Binghe. However, it seemed he couldn’t just peacefully go and meet death, instead getting dumped right into another role with a shitty fate.
He mournfully sighed, staring at the kid grabbing his arm, looking at him with concerned eyes. If Shen Yuan was Shi Wudu, this kid must be Shi Qingxuan, and he was one of the reasons why Shi Wudu ended up dying. Shi Wudu had decided to switch Shi Qingxuan’s fate with He Xuan’s to save his brother from the Venerable of Empty Words. If Shi Wudu didn’t switch their fates, He Xuan would become the wind god and would live a good life, giving him no reason to attack Shi Wudu. With this basic understanding, Shen Yuan decided, fuck this, it was none of his business, he wanted to live so he was gonna just leave.
Shen Yuan grabbed Shi Qingxuan’s hands, giving him a pitying look that clearly said, I am sorry that you are going to be fucked, and then proceeded to walk right out the door, leaving behind a dumbfounded Shi Qingxuan. Shen Yuan was not going to stay and watch someone suffer misfortune, especially the misfortune of such a young kid. However, he too was only human. While it was cruel to Shi Qingxuan, he didn’t want to suffer a horrific death either.
“Ge! Where are you going?” Shi Qingxuan yelled after Shen Yuan the moment he snapped out of his confusion. However, Shen Yuan was already too far away and couldn’t hear him.
At the moment, Shen Yuan was feeling low key, proud of himself because the system didn’t go off and because he had read and remembered this particular novel. He was also putting off thinking about his previous life, Binghe, and dying yet again. Repress, repress, repress was his motto, and it was necessary to figure out how to survive in this world first before thinking about less important things like feelings.
He knew that by leaving and not switching fates, he would not only avoid death, but also avoid completely breaking Shi Qingxuan once he found out about Shi Wudu’s heinous act. In order to not disappoint or further traumatize his new brother, Shen Yuan was fully prepared to fuck off forever and become a hobo. He had lived as a hobo in his plant body, so it might not even be that bad. Maybe he could even find Xie Lian and they could be street performers together. Unfortunately, Shen Yuan’s plan was barely put into action when the System blared to life.
[OOC, OOC! Shi Wudu would never abandon his brother. If your B points drop to zero or lower, you will die a very painful death. -50 B points. Initiating Punishment Protocol. ]
After the system blasted this warning, Shen Yuan’s vision suddenly darkened. When he could see again, he found himself in a dim room, surrounded by the creepy mumblings and screams of seemingly insane people. However, the cries and the screams of Shi Qingxuan were the most noticeable in this chaotic situation.
Suddenly.
Pain, pain, pain.
All at once, Shen Yuan felt an excruciating pain shooting up and down both of his arms. The sensation slammed into him so suddenly that he nearly puked from shock. He instinctively tried to move his hands to try to fruitlessly soothe the pain, but froze when he realized he couldn’t.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, ohgodithurts.
Without looking, he instantly knew what he would see. He knew that he would be severely traumatized if he saw his arms, but even so he couldn’t help but stare at his arms with morbid awe. Well. What was left of his arms. His forearms had been ripped clean off, and blood was still gushing out. It hurt so much, and he felt dizzy from the blood loss. Tears dripped uncontrollably from his eyes as he rode the waves of pain, thinking hysterically that it hurt only slightly less than when the original Binghe ripped his leg off. Shen Yuan clenched his eyes shut, desperately hoping to leave the vision and pain behind.
The moment he opened his eyes, he was back to where he had been when the punishment protocol had been initiated. He staggered from the sudden lack of pain, gasping for breath. As his breathing calmed, he thought carefully about his situation. He figured just like his last life, in order to not be considered OOC and avoid punishment, he had to complete a mission. After the first mission, he would be able to deviate from Shi Wudu’s original character. Shen Yuan had mistakenly thought that he didn’t have an OOC function because the system hadn’t said anything initially, but he had clearly celebrated too early and had been way too naive. The system was probably just slow or had been lagging.
WTF System. -10 out of 10. You are definitely worse than the last System I had! I want a refund! Shen Yuan mentally shook his fist at his new System.
[OOC is OOC. Punishment Protocol will be used to ensure story quality and integrity.]
With a sigh, Shen Yuan started to trudge back to Shi Qingxuan. Out of habit, he tried to reach down to grab his fan, hand freezing as he realized he didn’t have one. After being Shen Qingqiu for so long, he had been used to carrying a fan to hide his emotions and to maintain his immortal aura that he now felt awkward without one. He laughed humorlessly as he mused that at least he no longer had to worry about Liu Qingge judging him for leaving his fans behind.
Remembering the fact that both Shi brothers would later carry fans as well, he decided to go to the nearest stall and purchase two fans. Shi Wudu was still a teen, barely having any money after his aunt and uncles stole his parent‘s merchant business, but he managed to come up with the coins necessary to purchase two cheap matching fans.
When he returned home, he found Shi Qingxuan crying by the front door, waiting for his return. He sighed as he stared at the crying child. Shi Qingxuan really wasn’t a bad character, even after suffering misfortune and becoming a crippled and homeless beggar. He had been one of the only gods that supported Xie Lian despite the fact that Xie Lian had been the laughingstock of Heaven. There was absolutely no benefit to being Xie Lian’s friend besides Xie Lian’s protagonist halo, and of course Shi Qingxuan wouldn’t know that fact. Even though Shi Qingxuan led an easy life, being spoiled by his brother and had things handed to him through his brother’s hard work, he was undeniably a kind person who was willing to help others. When reading the novel, Shen Yuan found his character easily likable.
Shen Yuan really didn’t want him to suffer, but he had no idea what route to take to maintain Shi Qingxuan’s fate as a god without becoming a crippled beggar while simultaneously allowing himself to escape a horrendous death. While Shen Yuan was fine dying (he was a pro at it considering he’d died three times), he would ideally like to die with all his limbs attached and as painlessly as possible. Unfortunately, while Shen Yuan was furiously trying to figure out how to navigate the path ahead, he was so overwhelmed with the fear of the vision the system had shown him, he forgot that he could simply follow Shi Qingxuan’s decision when He Xuan forced them to choose between him dying or both of them descending and becoming mortals.
From Shen Yuan’s understanding, he was beset with dangers from all sides on the path ahead. While Shi Wudu himself didn’t have a large role as a character in the novel, he was a key character that caused He Xuan to become a ghost king, who would later owe a debt to Hua Cheng. This debt led to He Xuan offering his help to Hua Cheng throughout the story.
Additionally, Shen Yuan couldn’t just let Shi Qingxuan stay mortal, because unless he became a god, he would be unable to withstand the Venerable of Empty Words. Shi Qingxuan also had to help Xie Lian later on in the story, and would be unable to do so if he was not a god. However, Shi Qingxuan did not have the ability to ascend on his own unless Shi Wudu switched his fate.
No matter how he thought about it, this situation seemed utterly hopeless. In his last life, he had insanely lucked out when Binghe had not decided to kill him, even after he’d thrown Binghe into the abyss. For some magical and mysterious reason, Binghe had fallen in love with him. The last time he’d seen Binghe had been at Maigu Ridge where he’d… Binghe’s teary face swam in front of his eyes. Shen Yuan firmly shook his head. He had to focus on what to do right now.
Taking a deep breath, he turned his thoughts again to the problem at hand. What could Shen Yuan even do in this situation? Hug He Xuan’s thighs and hope that he also falls in love with him after causing his entire family to die horrifically and his life and fate to go down the drain? He snorted. That was literally impossible.
Airplane Br--Shang Qinghua would often joke that Shen Yuan was a harem master who supposedly managed to bend Binghe, Liu Qingge, and other seemingly straight characters, but that clearly was a dirty lie. If that joke were true, then Shen Yuan would have an easier life by being able to make the stupidly sadistic system fall for him so he wouldn’t get stuck in these shitty roles. It almost seemed as if the system wanted him to get his limbs ripped off and die. He sighed again with frustration, hoping that maybe Airplane Bro had also joined him in another cannon fodder role. At least he could have someone he could vent to about the situation.
The moment Shi Qingxuan noticed that Shen Yuan had come back, he dashed to him, nearly tackling him to the ground while crying, “Does Gege not want Qingxuan anymore? Qingxuan doesn’t want Gege to leave. Qingxuan doesn’t want to be alone. Qingxuan will be good.”
Shen Yuan couldn’t help but feel his heart soften as he felt Shi Qingxuan’s desperation and tears. To Shi Qingxuan, after their parents died, Shi Wudu was the only one he had, and the only direct family member he had left. After Shi Wudu took Shi Qingxuan away from their family house, Shi Qingxuan had no one but Shi Wudu, and for Shi Wudu to give him a look that clearly said farewell before taking off, had clearly terrified him. No matter what happened, Shi Qingxuan didn’t want to be alone, he wanted to stick by his brother.
After a couple of minutes passed, Shen Yuan grabbed Shi Qingxuan’s chin and gently wiped away his tears, consoling him, “I am here, don’t cry.” Shi Qingxuan was still a child at this moment, and it had been completely irresponsible of Shen Yuan to just ditch him. Shen Yuan reevaluated his plan, deciding to wait and see if he could leave after he was able to give Shi Qingxuan a survivable life without him in the picture.
He led Shi Qingxuan back inside their rented house and prepared a meal for both of them. While Shen Yuan himself wasn’t a good cook, luckily, Shi Wudu was a decent cook. Shen Yuan was able to cheat and use the body’s old skill to prepare a meal without inadvertently poisoning either one of them.
After the meal, Shen Yuan realized he had to prepare the bath for the both of them. Shen Yuan had been so used to Binghe or his other disciples preparing everything for him that he was clueless about what to do and had to ask the system for help. After being told that he’d have to manually draw water and heat it, he missed his previous lives desperately. Shen Yuan was used to living a life of luxury, and had never had to do this kind of hard labor—either from living as a spoiled second-gen in the 21st century, or because he had Binghe and his disciples.
Preparing the bath was a pain. He had to take a bucket and go to the nearest water source to draw water for the bath. His physical body was still that of a child so his physical strength was weak as well. It took him a total of ten trips to the well, and then he had to grab bundles of thankfully pre-cut wood to burn under the bath bucket. After helping Shi Qingxuan bathe, Shen Yuan had no desire to re-experience that hard labor in such a short amount of time and decided to fuck it. One day of not bathing shouldn’t be a problem.
“Gege are you not going to take a bath?” Shi Qingxuan asked Shen Yuan after he got in his robes. His wet hair was slowly causing his robe to become wet as he stood there, clearly cold after getting out of the bath. Shi Qingxuan didn’t understand the struggle since he had never had to prepare the bath. He only experienced the warmth of the bath and wanted his brother to also enjoy the experience.
Shen Yuan looked at the bath and then back to Shi Qingxuan’s innocent eyes. Shen Yuan had no desire to use his energy to pour out the water and reprepare the bath. Though he was tired, he didn’t get angry at the question because he knew that Shi Qingxuan had asked with good intentions. Shen Yuan simply sighed and answered, “I will take one later. Come here, let’s get your hair dried and prepare you for bed.”
Shi Qingxuan scampered to their vanity table and sat down. Once Shen Yuan came close to him, Shi Qingxuan handed him the comb. As Shen Yuan slowly combed and oiled Shi Qingxuan’s hair, Shi Qingxuan started to excitedly recount what happened during the day. Shi Qingxuan had clearly been through a lot that day after crying all morning, so talking to Shen Yuan took all the remaining energy out of him. He quickly fell asleep at the vanity while Shen Yuan was combing his hair. Putting down the comb, Shen Yuan then princess carried him to the bed, tucking him in.
With Shi Qingxuan asleep, Shen Yuan was able to talk to the system again, and received his first mission. Find a job and also find a teacher for cultivation. Since the Shi brothers ran away and were living on their own, they had to make their own form of income, but Shen Yuan had to simultaneously cultivate in order to ascend.
Shen Yuan gazed at the sleeping Shi Qingxuan, running his finger through Shi Qingxuan’s hair and down his back, smoothing out all discomfort. He finally laid a mat on the floor, pulling a spare robe over himself. Although Shen Yuan was not used to sleeping on the floor, because of his exhaustion, he fell asleep as soon as his head hit the floor.
In the middle of the night, Shen Yuan was roused when he felt something warm settle over his body and another body wriggling underneath the robe, hugging onto him tightly. He sighed as he realized that Shi Qingxuan had joined him on the floor, slowly hugging the small body back. Together, Shen Yuan and Shi Qingxuan slept on the floor the rest of the night. To Shi Qingxuan, it was warmer and more comfortable to sleep on the cold and hard floor in his brother’s arms than to sleep alone in the soft and warm bed.
I Am Lost Without Directions.
Once morning hit, Shen Yuan regretfully dragged himself away from Shi Qingxuan’s clinging hands as he rose to prepare their breakfast. Shi Qingxuan drowsily dragged himself to the table to eat once breakfast was ready. After they’d finished eating, Shen Yuan prepared to leave in search of a teacher and job. Unfortunately, after being traumatized from the previous day, when Shen Yuan first tried to leave, Shi Qingxuan refused to let his brother out of his sight. Shen Yuan absolutely could not take Shi Qingxuan along. Who would even offer a job to a preteen being followed by an even younger kid?
No matter what Shen Yuan said, Shi Qingxuan remained stubborn and refused to budge from the door. Desperately trying to think of how to convince Shi Qingxuan, Shen Yuan suddenly remembered the fans he had purchased the previous day.
“Qingxuan, look at this. I have this pair of matching fans. I have to go look for work but if anything happens, you can take this fan and look for me okay? I will be in the shopping area. As long as you have this fan, you should be able to find me. I will also be able to identify you through this fan alright?” Shen Yuan bent down to show the fans to Shi Qingxuan.
Shi Qingxuan's frown quickly became a smile as he reached out and grabbed one of the fans from Shen Yuan. He was going to be able to match with his brother! His brother had bought them a matching set of fans! Even if his brother left, the fan meant that he’d still have a part of his brother by his side.
Sighing in relief that he’d appeased Shi Qingxuan, Shen Yuan imitated his best Shen Qingqiu voice, sternly telling Shi Qingxuan not to leave the house, before heading out to complete his first mission.
After nearly a whole day of searching, Shen Yuan was finally able to find a job as a book copier. His job was to essentially act like a printer/copy machine in a xianxia environment. He had to thank his experience as Shen Qingqiu to be able to get the job. As a peak lord, he had become extremely proficient in calligraphy, and it was his beautiful and quick writing that managed to convince his boss to take him as a worker despite being too young for the job. Shen Yuan was then handed a stack of books and materials to copy which were to be handed in two days.
Shen Yuan figured that he could start working that night and look for a cultivation teacher the next day, finishing any leftover work by the next night. With that thought, he cheerfully started to trot home to Shi Qingxuan.
Shen Yuan’s happy mood immediately dissipated as he walked into an empty house. Shen Yuan had clearly told Shi Qingxuan to remain in the house while he was gone, and yet Shi Qingxuan was now missing.
Panicking, Shen Yuan dumped all of his work materials, running outside like a headless chicken, in order to search for Shi Qingxuan. After desperately searching for hours, he was scared, tired, and completely exhausted. When he finally stumbled upon a smiling and dirty Shi Qingxuan in the forest behind the house, his legs nearly gave out as he staggered with immense relief. However, that emotion was soon overwhelmed by his quickly rising fury.
Why did he have to deal with this on top of everything else? Shen Yuan was exhausted from looking for a job all day, and simply wanted to come home and relax. However, he wasn’t even able to do that because Shi Qingxuan couldn’t just listen to him and stay home. Because Shi Qingxuan couldn’t listen to a simple order, he had to drag his already exhausted body out to look for his younger brother for hours, just to suddenly find him standing in front of him and smiling like an idiot.
Shi Qingxuan, seeing his brother’s furious face, quickly sobered up, his smile slipping away. He bit his lip and sadly hung his head as his brother grabbed his arm tightly, to drag him back home. Shi Qingxuan began to tear up, finally crying as he was pulled back home. He didn’t want his brother to be upset at him but he didn’t know how to explain that he only left the house because he had felt hungry so he could only cry to show his distress.
Even though Shen Yuan was extremely fed up with Shi Qingxuan’s antics, hearing Shi Qingxuan cry, Shen Yuan forced himself to calm down. He was supposed to be an adult, but instead he was scaring his younger brother and causing the cute kid to cry. Shen Yuan’s own morals couldn’t let himself ignore Shi Qingxuan’s crying, much less the fact that it was OOC to ignore his brother and the system would punish him.
Shen Yuan let go of Shi Qingxuan’s arm as he turned to face the crying child. Unfortunately, he simply couldn’t force himself to smile because he was still angry. However, he also felt that it was wrong to let the kid cry two days straight after taking control of his brother’s body. Mind made up, Shen Yuan hugged Shi Qingxuan close and comforted him the way he used to comfort Binghe when he cried. As Shi Qingxuan’s sobs eventually quieted down, Shen Yuan held Shi Qingxuan out at arm’s length, calmly asking, “Do you know why I am upset with you?”
“Qingxuan didn’t listen to Gege.” Shi Qingxuan replied tearfully.
Shi Qingxuan looked as if he was going to once again start crying, so Shen Yuan hastily interjected, “I thought I lost you.”
“Gege, Qingxuan is sorry. Qingxuan didn’t mean for Gege to be upset. Qingxuan doesn’t want Gege to leave.” Shi Qingxuan quickly hugged Shen Yuan again and within the warmth of his brother’s arms, his smile slowly appeared once again. Shen Yuan’s heart softened at Shi Qingxuan’s actions as his frustration lessened, and the two brothers finally headed inside the house.
While Shen Yuan was preparing for dinner, he realized that he had forgotten to cook lunch for both of them since he had been in a hurry to complete the mission. He glanced at Shi Qingxuan sitting by the table and looked down at the knife he was holding, he really was a bad older brother, wasn’t he? In his previous life, he had been the younger sibling and his older brothers were the ones who had to care for him. Even as Shen Qingqiu, he could still depend on Yue Qingyuan for help. He wasn’t used to being forced to not only be the sole older sibling, but also be a single parent as well.
Unlike before, Shen Yuan had no help in this life. Shi Qingxuan was too young to actually do anything by himself and wasn’t skilled enough to complete any task.
After Shen Yuan finished cooking dinner, he told Shi Qingxuan to eat first since he had to prepare for Shi Qingxuan’s bath. Drawing a bath would take a long time, so it would be better for Shi Qingxuan to eat first in order to not waste time as they were both at an age critical for growth, and it would be better for Shi Qingxuan to sleep early.
Shi Qingxuan pouted as Shen Yuan went to prepare the bath. He wanted to eat together with his brother like they had always done. Eating together was always more fun and felt a lot warmer than eating alone, but since he had caused his brother so much trouble already, Shi Qingxuan could only keep silent and slowly ate his meal as his brother went to draw his bath.
Once Shen Yuan finished preparing the bath, he helped Shi Qingxuan bathe and prepare for bed. After that, Shen Yuan was finally able to sit down and eat his already cold meal. He then prepared his own bath after eating, and at long last, started his work. Shen Yuan sat by the table with a small candle by his side as he diligently copied out the books he had been given.
Shi Qingxuan, after noticing that his brother wasn’t heading to bed with him, decided to sit by Shen Yuan’s side to watch him work. After a while, he got bored and tried to persuade Shen Yuan to head to bed. Shen Yuan looked at the clearly tired Shi Qingxuan who was being disobedient and refusing to sleep. He couldn’t help but smile fondly at his little brother. He really was such a cute kid.
Shen Yuan eyed the pile of work he had, sighing deeply. He was always a lazy person and was used to procrastination so putting it off until tomorrow should be fine. As Shen Yuan packed up his work, Shi Qingxuan’s eyes sparkled as he quickly prepared the bed for both of them.
When Shi Qingxuan saw that Shen Yuan was laying down a mat once again, he pouted, “Gege, sleep with me on the bed. Come on! It’ll be more convenient and comfortable.”
Seeing how Shi Qingxuan looked so eager, Shen Yuan defeatedly rolled the mat back up and laid beside Shi Qingxuan. Shi Qingxuan reached over and hugged Shen Yuan as he fell asleep. Hugging Shi Qingxuan back, the warmth of his brother and the sound of his heartbeat pulled Shen Yuan straight to sleep.
Notes:
Cute picture of kid Shi Wudu and Shi Qingxuan
https://twitter.com/anijii/status/1086847654263283713/photo/2
Chapter 2: You're NOT welcomed
Notes:
Character attempting suicide warning and death scenes.
The words in bold is Venerable of Empty Words.
The words in bold and [. . ] is the system.
Chapter Text
The next day, Shen Yuan went back into town and managed to find a teacher that was willing to teach him cultivation, completing the first mission and unlocking the OOC function. Unfortunately, every day was a struggle to balance working, training, and caring for Shi Qingxuan. He had never had such a busy schedule in his previous lives.
Before Shi Qingxuan woke up, Shen Yuan would have to start working. Once Shi Qingxuan woke up, Shen Yuan would then have to stop working in order to cook breakfast. While cooking breakfast, he would multitask and also read his cultivating manual. Life as a single teen parent was difficult, but at least Shi Qingxuan was not too troublesome and knew to not bother him when he was truly busy.
While Shen Yuan cooked and studied, Shi Qingxuan would get himself ready, and return to the dining table as Shen Yuan brought the meals out. Shen Yuan would then grab a bun before going to train, leaving Shi Qingxuan alone in the house. During Shen Yuan’s training break, he would hurry back home to check on Shi Qingxuan and prepare lunch. While the Shi brothers ate, Shi Qingxuan would talk about his day as Shen Yuan rushed to complete his work. The moment Shen Yuan finished eating, he would grab his completed work, running to turn it in to his boss. He would then race back to the training area to continue to train, only returning home once night fell. The moment Shen Yuan returned home, he would then prepare the bath for Shi Qingxuan and as Shi Qingxuan took a bath, he would start preparing dinner.
Shen Yuan would leave Shi Qingxuan to eat dinner by himself as he prepared his own bath. After taking a bath, he would remind Shi Qingxuan to make sure his hair was fully dried and combed before heading to bed, as he prepared to work again. Shen Yuan would put away his work once he could no longer see straight, waking up just as the sun rose.
Why Are You Back?
Despite the late hours, Shi Qingxuan would always wait for Shen Yuan to join him in bed before sleeping. However, he could always cajole Shen Yuan to join him when he couldn’t wait any longer. Shi Qingxuan knew that his brother was always busy and worked extremely hard. He was no longer able to interact with his brother as much as before, and his brother always appeared exhausted. He desperately wanted them to go back to before, when his brother could always be there for him and spoil him rotten. But now, even having a dinner conversation was difficult, as his brother was always working and if not working, training. Shi Qingxuan saw the bruises and cuts his brother got from training and the dark shadows under his eyes and was terrified that his brother was no longer the same—that the brother he once knew was gone.
Trying to bury his worries, Shi Qingxuan decided to try to help lessen his brother’s burden. He decided to secretly ask the kind lady next door to teach him how to cook. Thanks to her lessons, Shi Qingxuan managed to prepare a very simple meal. This was the first time Shi Qingxuan had ever cooked, so he was extremely excited to surprise his brother by bringing him the home-cooked meal he’d personally prepared. Unfortunately, it was something that Shi Qingxuan would forever regret doing.
As Shi Qingxuan walked along the route to his brother’s training location, he suddenly felt as if he had to pee. Shi Qingxuan hurried to the bushes and looked around. Seeing no one around, he lifted his robe and pulled down his undergarments to do his business. Unbeknownst to him, while he didn’t see anything, something saw him. The Venerable of Empty Words smiled maliciously as it approached Shi Qingxuan calling out, “ Xuan-er? ”
His brother used to call him Xuan-er before suddenly stopping. He had no idea why his brother had decided to address him more distantly, but after not hearing his brother use his familiar pet name for so long, suddenly hearing that endearing name again, brought joy to Shi Qingxuan.
Shi Qingxuan quickly cried, “I’m here. Xuan-er is here!”
Shi Qingxuan tried to look around for where the voice came from as he fixed his clothes. While the voice didn’t belong to his brother, it must be someone his brother knew because that was the nickname his brother had once called him. Shi Qingxuan glanced down at the quickly cooling meal. He had to bring the meal to his brother soon or else it would no longer be hot.
“Where are you? Do you know where my brother is?” He excitedly asked, glancing around.
Instead of answering him, the voice asked him, “ When were you born? Was it. . . ” The voice within the forest stated the exact day and time of Shi Qingxuan’s birth.
Shi Qingxuan froze, suddenly feeling worried. No one should know this information. His brother and all of his family had told him that his birth time must remain a secret. So just how did this person know?
“That’s right.” The voice crooned. Deep in Shi Qingxuan’s heart, something felt terribly wrong. He started to feel scared, gripping the bowl in his hands tightly as he began to back away from the voice with trembling legs.
“Let me see your face.“ Something deep within the shadows started to creep towards him, when suddenly a dark black smoke appeared in front of Shi Qingxuan.
Shi Qingxuan was terrified, freezing in place as the shadowy figure grabbed his face to peer closer.
Did I Ever Have A Choice?
Unaware of Shi Qingxuan’s current predicament, Shen Yuan was still training. The system suddenly blared to life with a huge alert, popping up a flashing message with his second mission.
[Mission: Change Shi Qingxuan’s fate and free him from the Venerable of Empty Words. 400 B Points]
The one word that screamed in Shen Yuan’s brain was, “FUCK.” Shen Yuan knew that this would eventually happen, but he wasn’t sure how it would come to play. The story had never gone into detail about the Shi brothers, so Shen Yuan always tried to trap Shi Qingxuan inside their home to try to stop this from happening. He had finally started to get used to this life’s routine of non-stop training, studying, and working, so of course just as he had gotten comfortable, something threw a wrench into the works.
Shen Yuan dropped everything and raced back home. Just as Shen Yuan guessed, Shi Qingxuan was not in the house. Shen Yuan frantically ran everywhere, asking everyone he knew whether they had seen Shi Qingxuan. Shen Yuan ran around in a panic for hours before finally finding Shi Qingxuan crying in the forest behind their house, still clutching a bowl full of food in his nerveless hands.
The moment Shi Qingxuan saw Shen Yuan, he rushed towards him, clutching onto Shen Yuan’s clothes. In his haste, he dropped the bowl on the ground, but both brothers ignored the shattered bowl, desperately grabbing onto one another.
“GE! It’s back, it’s back.” Shi Qingxuan sobbed out, burrowing his face into Shen Yuan’s chest, trying to seek comfort from his brother.
“It's okay Qingxuan. It will be okay.” Shen Yuan rubbed Shi Qingxuan’s back as they sank to the ground, trying to assure him. Shen Yuan honestly didn’t know who he was really saying that to—Shi Qingxuan or himself. He still had no clue how to change their fates to a better one than the ones written in the book, and he was starting to believe that he really didn't have a choice but to follow Shi Wudu's footsteps.
Shi Qingxuan cried himself to sleep in Shen Yuan’s arms, as Shen Yuan tirelessly rubbed his back. Silently, Shen Yuan picked him up and carried him back home, undressing and bathing him before tucking him into bed.
Alone with only the system, Shen Yuan buried his face into his hands. He was starting to feel a headache coming on. Shen Yuan was nothing but adaptable. He had died, became Shen Qingqiu, died again and became a plant, just to die once again and become cannon fodder. Even though Shen Yuan struggled in each of those situations, he was nothing but adaptable in the end. Unfortunately this time, Shen Yuan had no idea what to do.
After knowing the Venerable of Empty Words had come back, Shi Qingxuan was always pale and shaky with fear. He was constantly near tears and no longer smiled, though whenever he did, it was clearly faked. The constant fear in Shi Qingxuan’s eyes and the way he started to lose weight deeply shook Shen Yuan. Along the way, Shi Qingxuan had somehow managed to sneak himself into Shen Yuan’s heart—so much so that Shen Yuan could no longer see him as just a side character in a novel, but thought of him as his actual younger brother.
Shen Yuan pushed himself even harder, tirelessly working and training day in and day out in order for both of them to survive in this world. He had to do something because Shi Qingxuan completely trusted and relied on him. From then on Shen Yuan also devoted himself to researching what he could do about the Venerable of Empty Words. The only times Shen Yuan would take a break from what he was doing would be when he would find Shi Qingxuan scratching himself or crying his lungs out. Seeing that, Shen Yuan would drop everything to comfort him and try to assure him that everything would be okay.
Shen Yuan no longer slept. He would work well into the night either researching or finishing work on his copier job, only taking quick naps.
Go Away. Go Away. Go Away.
“ Your brother is working himself down the bone. Wouldn’t it be a shame if he were to die of exhaustion? ”
The moment Shi Qingxuan heard the Venerable’s words, blood drained from his face. He had seen the way his brother was wearing himself down and he knew that it was because of him that his brother was struggling so much. He didn’t want anything to happen to his brother. Panic overwhelmed Shi Qingxuan as he ran to his brother’s work room, just in time to see his brother faint.
Shi Qingxuan arrived right in time to catch him, but the fact that he was the reason why his brother had fainted from exhaustion and overwork made him really hate himself. Shi Qingxuan also despised the Venerable of Empty Words. It was because of him, that their little world was getting destroyed. It was because of him that he was always feeling afraid and his brother was constantly struggling.
Shi Qingxuan just wanted it all to go away. He wanted his brother to be happy and hear him; not overworked and overwhelmed. Shi Qingxuan only wanted his brother back and he was slowly believing that his brother was going to disappear. He felt that he was slowly losing his brother.
I Am So, So, Sorry.
Shen Yuan knew that they couldn’t continue this way forever, and after agonizing over what to do, he ultimately decided that he wanted Shi Qingxuan’s suffering to end, consequences of switching fates be damned. Shi Qingxuan was gaunt, with shadows under his eyes and deep scratches up and down his arms and neck left behind from his hysterical fits. Shen Yuan was done watching his brother slowly drive himself insane. He could only ease Shi Qingxuan’s fears so much. Shi Qingxuan was slowly losing himself as the days passed by, and Shen Yuan had to resort to using medicines to force Shi Qingxuan to sleep for longer and longer periods of time. It was only when Shi Qingxuan was asleep, that he no longer did harmful things that endangered his life. Sleeping was the only respite left for Shi Qingxuan, allowing him to avoid his fears and retain his sanity.
Shen Yuan was still struggling with the idea of following Shi Wudu’s footsteps, but he couldn’t continue watching Shi Qingxuan suffer. He really should have left as soon as the OOC ban was lifted, but now he could not bear to abandon Shi Qingxuan. Getting attached to him and loving him was a truly terrible mistake, but Shen Yuan couldn’t find it in himself to regret doing so.
After years of training, Shen Yuan was now extremely close to ascending. According to the novel, Shi Wudu would switch Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan’s fate some time after he ascended. It was about time he must take action.
Shen Yuan poured himself into work in order to finish his work ahead of schedule. Knowing that it was for Shi Qingxuan’s own good, but still feeling shitty about it, he fed Shi Qingxuan medicine that would allow him to sleep for the duration that he would be gone. Shi Qingxuan gave a panicked cry as he realized that Shen Yuan was packing to leave for a while, but the medicine was effective, soon pulling him into slumber. Setting defensive formations in place around the room and Shi Qingxuan’s bed, Shen Yuan was finally ready to leave.
“System, is there anything needed to switch He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan’s fate?”
[Obtain something that contains He Xuan’s blood.]
“Can you give me He Xuan’s location?”
[The System likes where this is going. Sending location.]
With the System’s help, Shen Yuan was able to find where He Xuan lived. Shen Yuan hid himself as he gazed despondently at He Xuan and his family. At this time, He Xuan still had a chance to become a successful scholar with a happy family. He Xuan had parents, a sister, and fiancee who all loved him. Looking at He Xuan’s family, he couldn’t help but remember what happened to them in the novel.
While they were happy, He Xuan’s family was poor. In order to bring them out of poverty, He Xuan had to pass the national exam. Unfortunately, he failed repeatedly because he didn’t realize that he was expected to give the examiners gifts. To make things worse, during this time, his fiancee and sister were kidnapped by a rich household to become bed servants. One of them was beaten to death, while the other committed suicide.
He Xuan sought vengeance for them, but ended up in jail, which left his parents alone. How could his father, an elderly old man support his family alone without the support of his son? He Xuan’s father could try and work himself to death, but it was simply not enough since his wife still ended up dying. Despite being left with almost nothing once he left jail, He Xuan still managed to start his own business, which ended up being very successful. Unfortunately, trouble still loomed over him. His competitors sabotaged him out of jealousy, stealing everything from him, only leaving him with a string of debts.
Honestly, He Xuan reminded him of the blackened Binghe. Like Binghe, He Xuan encountered numerous misfortunes until he finally completely blackened, going on a murderous rampage against everyone who wronged him. He was intent on repaying misfortune with misfortune. An eye for an eye. He Xuan sought strength and influence with the sole intention of taking revenge against Shi Wudu. He manipulated his way to become closer with Shi Qingxuan, took the place of the Earth god, and did everything solely for the sake of being able to fiinally horrifically murder Shi Wudu.
Thinking about this again, Shen Yuan could only continue to rage and pour hate on the system. What was this shitty role? Why did he have to play this kind of role again? He was neither an M nor an S. He had no desire to play this kind of role again. Wasn’t a run with Shen Qingqiu’s role enough? He’d rather be NPC A or B in the background. At least they didn’t die in gruesome ways.
Staring at He Xuan, Shen Yuan resolve started to waver. Selfishly pushing an entire family down into hell for the sake of someone else was simply too cruel to do. Shen Yuan was extremely reluctant to condemn others simply out of selfishness. As he jerkily turned away from He Xuan, the System chimed in.
[You must obtain He Xuan’s blood to switch fates. Remember Shi Qingxuan.]
Sensing Shen Yuan was still torn, the system plunged Shen Yuan into another vision.
Shen Yuan’s eyes glazed over as the System attempted to force him into compliance.
The scene around Shen Yuan showed him that he was back at the house he shared with his brother. However, it was oddly quiet. He couldn’t hear the usual sounds of Shi Qingxuan’s chatter. Shen Yuan swiftly went over to the door, quietly opening it to enter the house. The house was completely trashed. It was almost as if someone had gone insane, smashing and destroying everything and anything within their vision. He stopped short, staring at the floor. There was a huge trail of blood. However, it was dried and relatively old. With a sinking feeling, Shen Yuan followed the trail, leading him into the brother’s shared bedroom.
Shen Yuan's eyes locked onto Shi Qingxuan’s figure that was collapsed on the floor by the bed, surrounded by a pool of blood. Shi Qingxuan’s face looked haggard and extremely pale, but his expression was eerily happy. Dragging his eyes down from Shi Qingxuan’s face, he noticed that buried in Qingxuan’s chest, was a broken piece of the fan that Shen Yuan had given Shi Qingxuan. Shi Qingxuan had killed himself with the fan he had gifted him.
Shen Yuan stumbled in disbelief to Shi Qingxuan’s side, dropping to his knees next to the crumpled body. No matter how much Shen Yuan screamed and sobbed, he knew that Shi Qingxuan was never waking up. He was long gone and there was nothing that Shen Yuan could do. Knowing this, he could only cry helplessly until he lost his voice and tears could no longer flow. Finally deciding that Shen Yuan was sufficiently convinced, the System threw him out of the vision.
Shen Yuan stared blankly at the house where He Xuan and his family lived. This was the system's warning. Either He Xuan or Shi Qingxuan must be the one to suffer. He had to choose.
Chapter 3: I Don't Know What To Do
Chapter Text
The sun blazed unforgivingly above him, but Shen Yuan was unaware of the harsh heat. The image of Shi Qingxuan’s broken body still lingered in front of his eyes, reminding him exactly what was at stake. Shen Yuan observed He Xuan, as his breaths slowly calmed, quickly dashing the tears from his eyes before slowly making his way towards the youth.
He needed to get closer to get He Xuan’s blood.
This was for Shi Qingxuan. This was for his brother. There was no other choice. He had no choice. He must do this.
Spurred by the vision, Shen Yuan cautiously approached, raising his fan to hide his tense face. He swallowed. It was time to activate his BS ability. Shen Yuan slowly fanned himself despite his nerveless fingers, calming slightly, to try to portray a sense of elegance and grace.
He Xuan wasn’t alone, working with his sister in a secluded area to sell the crops their family had grown, while studying for his exam at the same time. When he saw him working so hard, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but feel a rush of sympathy for He Xuan, before ruthlessly quashing his feelings.
Shen Yuan couldn’t sympathize with him. He must not. Not when he would be the one who would in essence push He Xuan and his entire family into an abyss. There was no time for morals or sympathy. There was only the choice of which life’s value meant more to him. Unlike the trolley dilemma where you were asked whether you’d be willing to kill one person to save five, in this case, he was being asked if he’d be willing to kill five people to save one? Five strangers for your one and only brother.
If it had been Shi Wudu, the answer would be obvious. Shi Qingxuan was, and would always be, his highest priority. Shi Wudu would be willing to do anything without hesitation for Shi Qingxuan’s sake. But in the end, Shen Yuan was not Shi Wudu. He didn’t have that unwavering dedication for Shi Qingxuan. Though Shi Qingxuan was a good brother and a good person, in reality, he wasn’t Shen Yuan’s relative nor his responsibility.
Shen Yuan bit his lip. He knew he could try to convince himself that Shi Qingxuan didn’t actually matter to him—that leaving him to his fate was the only truly moral route, but he simply couldn’t bring himself to do so. Maybe it was because the remnants of Shi Wudu’s soul might still reside within him, or maybe it was just Shen Yuan’s sentimentality speaking, but he couldn’t leave Shi Qingxuan to his fate. On the other hand, He Xuan was an upright and hardworking individual who also didn’t deserve to have his and his family’s value be determined to be below a complete stranger, no matter how kind that stranger was. It simply wasn’t fair.
Shen Yuan could only steel his heart and push forward. There were no correct answers here, and as someone who took over Shi Wudu’s body, to honor the previous occupant, Shen Yuan must at least protect Shi Qingxuan, even though the choice was tearing him apart. He had no other option but to harden his heart and disregard his morals.
The closer Shen Yuan got to He Xuan, the more torn he felt. He Xuan was already struggling, and Shen Yuan, who understood better than anyone what it was like to have to support and be the backbone of their family, couldn’t help but want to ease his struggle.
A sudden idea struck Shen Yuan. Maybe, just maybe, if he were to help He Xuan just a little, he’d be remembered in a good light. If He Xuan were to think of Shen Yuan in a somewhat positive light, then he might grant him a quicker and less traumatic death. In fact, perhaps Shen Yuan could also help make sure the potential ghost king wasn’t as screwed over when he switched their fates, which might further lessen He Xuan’s hate for him. First things first, he had to get closer.
Having come to terms with his choices, and filled with determination, Shen Yuan took a big breath before flashing He Xuan a light smile.
[What is Host doing? Host only needs to get the blood.]
“ Listen, I have to get close to him to get his blood. ”
[No. Host does not need to do so. Host is currently stronger than him. Beat He Xuan up. Spill his blood to collect it. It is the perfect way to retrieve He Xuan’s blood.]
“ Beat him up in broad daylight? System, how many grudges do you want stacked against me??? ” Shen Yuan couldn’t help but shriek in his head.
[This town is poor and fighting is common in this area. It is the same for stealing, kidnapping, and sometimes killing poor people. It would not be strange if Host beats up He Xuan, since he is poor and weak.]
Shen Yuan was already used to filtering the system's bad ideas and tuned the system out. Shen Yuan was just going to help He Xuan’s family earn a bit of money so the bad luck later on might not be as bad as the novel and maybe, just maybe, He Xuan wouldn’t kill him so horribly. His mind was racing to figure out how to do so when his eyes landed on He Xuan’s sister.
[System sees that Host likes to be delusional.]
“Hello, I would like to buy some of your fruits.” Shen Yuan called out in a friendly voice, deciding that approaching them first as a customer was the safer option. Sure enough, He Xuan’s sister quickly brightened, turning towards him.
She smiled sweetly, cheerfully asking, “Ooooh okay, which fruits would the mister like to buy? These lychees are fresh and recently plucked. The figs we have are also extremely sweet, while the longans have just come into season.”
Shen Yuan left the choice to her, gently smiling as her enthusiasm in picking out the best fruits faintly reminded him of Ning Ying Ying. As she happily handed him the fruits, he surreptitiously pricked her hand with a thin needle. He had coated the needle with the sap of the Harmonious Spirit Maple. He couldn’t believe that one of Airplane Bro’s hack trees was also in the world of Heaven’s Official Blessing, but he was grateful that his encyclopedic knowledge of Proud Immortal Demon Way’s flora and fauna was still useful. He’d originally gathered to sap for his brother, as it was normally ingested to calm the mind and spirit. However, when the sap was injected into the blood, it would instead mimic symptoms of severe anemia. Shen Yuan wanted He Xuan’s sister to seem as if she were sick so he could have an excuse to visit He Xuan and his family with the means of curing her.
Because he had injected a small amount, the illness would happen slowly, so it wouldn’t be obvious that Shen Yuan was the culprit. Because this place was poor and dangerous, doctors did not want to live or work near the area. He Xuan’s family was too poor to afford to travel far enough to get a good doctor, so they would have no choice but to look for help wherever they could. That is where he would step in.
In order to build his reputation in the area, Shen Yuan went around the town, announcing that he was a cultivator, and would fight off demons or ghosts that came close to the town. He would also go around attending to the medical needs of the people for free, grateful that he could use the knowledge Mu Qingfang had taught him.
Extended Hands.
He Xuan stood in his sister’s bedroom, looking at his parents' faces which were lined with worry. His sister had weakened drastically the last couple of days, and now she didn’t even have the strength to leave her bed. Despite the panic threatening to overwhelm him, He Xuan remembered that he had heard a cultivator and doctor was providing medical services to people in the town for free. According to the villagers, the righteous cultivator had helped a number of people.
It was luckily very easy to find the cultivator, as the man was coincidentally passing near He Xuan’s home when he burst out to search for him. He Xuan threw himself to his knees in front of the cultivator, grabbing the edge of his robes. His face burst into flames when the cultivator immediately pulled him to his feet, shocked at his own shamelessness. Putting that aside, he apologized and launched into an explanation of the situation. His heart threatened to fly out of his throat when the cultivator gently took his hands, quietly asking him to lead him to his sister.
I Can't Help But Want To Do Something For You.
Shen Yuan let out a sign of relief when he checked He Xuan’s sister. She was exhibiting symptoms just as expected. Outloud, he declared that she needed constant monitoring because her illness was rather unusual. In truth, the sap that Shen Yuan had injected her with was not dangerous and after sleeping for about a week or so, all symptoms would pass. The symptoms simply looked worrisome, but that was all Shen Yuan needed. With this, Shen Yuan would be able to stay with He Xuan’s family for a while.
The first night Shen Yuan stayed in the family’s house, he woke up feeling unbearably thirsty. As Shen Yuan made his way to the kitchen, he passed by He Xuan’s room, and was shocked to see that it was still brightly lit.
After getting some water, his curiosity got the better of him. He really wanted to see what He Xuan was up to and maybe build some more goodwill. Shen Yuan filled an extra cup of water for He Xuan, and headed towards He Xuan’s room.
Once he reached He Xuan’s door, he gently knocked.
“Come in.” A tired voice answered.
When Shen Yuan opened the door, he saw He Xuan rubbing his reddened eyes in front of stacks of scrolls.
He Xuan immediately straightened his posture, “Did you need anything?”
“I saw your light was still on, and was wondering if you would like any water.” Shen Yuan placed the cup on the desk and took a peek at what He Xuan was working on.
He recognized the texts that He Xuan was studying from, and smiled as he found another way to build some good will. “Are you studying to become a scholar? I am actually a scholar myself. Maybe I could provide some insight.” Shen Yuan offered.
Shen Yuan was fully prepared to hug He Xuan’s thighs and support him. He especially wanted to support He Xuan not brutally mutilating and killing him.
Initially, He Xuan refused, but Shen Yuan pushed until he finally got He Xuan, whose face was getting increasingly redder, to accept the offer. Shen Yuan heaved an internal sigh of relief. He was worried that if he pushed further, He Xuan’s obvious anger would have boiled over, souring any feelings of goodwill. Now he had a chance to further hug He Xuan’s thighs!
It took a while for both of them to grow fully comfortable with one another, but eventually, Shen Yuan could freely come and go from He Xuan’s room whenever he was not ‘healing’ his sister.
Shen Yuan would also cook a midnight snack, kept hot through the use of a simple talisman for their tutoring sessions. He had noticed that He Xuan would often go without food in favor of studying, which was really not healthy. By bringing him snacks, he would have no choice but to eat.
If Shen Yuan was honest, teaching He Xuan was much easier and strangely enjoyable compared to teaching his Qing Jing disciplines. He Xuan was very intelligent, talented, and eager to learn. He easily understood Shen Yuan’s explanations, learning at a prodigious pace. Furthermore, they often had long conversations, where he would challenge and question Shen Yuan’s ideas to gain better understanding.
Before Shen Yuan had come, He Xuan lacked resources to become a scholar, even though his whole family supported him. Because of this, He Xuan was behind where he should be, despite his hard work. With Shen Yuan’s help, he would be able to catch up to his peers.
“When writing his particular character, you have to do this.” Shen Yuan grabbed He Xuan’s hand, guiding it to demonstrate the correct strokes, allowing the brush to flow smoothly on the paper. As Shen Yuan lifted their joined hands away from the scroll, his beautiful calligraphy was left on the paper.
He Xuan’s breath whooshed out of him as he gazed at the graceful calligraphy. He jerkily nodded his head, turning away to try and copy his calligraphy on a separate scroll. He Xuan’s brush stuttered uncharacteristically on the paper, but after shooting a glance at Shen Yuan, whose brow had furrowed in confusion, he wrote it perfectly.
Shen Yuan idly nibbled on the snacks he’d made as he watched He Xuan take the practice exams he’d created. He’d also written some sample essays for He Xuan to study. Shen Yuan really hoped that the national exams were the same as the exams from Proud Immortal Demonic Way. If not, He Xuan would probably come after his ass for one more thing.
He Xuan was studious, often working tirelessly late into the night, while Shen Yuan’s head would start to dip in the latter end of their sessions. He’d been teaching for years as Shen Qingqiu and now as Shi Wudu. Repetitively doing the same thing over and over again was bound to get boring. Shen Yuan’s upright posture slowly started to slouch as the late hour and mind numbing activities got to him. His head dropped into his arms as he succumbed to sleep.
[Host is wasting time feeding into delusions. Host should just get the blood now.]
Shen Yuan groaned. He couldn’t even escape the System in his dreams.
[System is always with Host. System needs to make sure Host makes the correct choices.]
“I’m making the best choices I can! Besides, this is my dream, and I don’t want to waste it thinking about a shitty system trying to get me brutally killed.”
[System only wants Host to make the correct choices to fulfill the story. If Host cannot understand, Host can face the consequences.]
With that, Shen Yuan’s surroundings faded as his dream changed. He dreamt that he’d transmigrated yet again. However, he couldn’t see where he was. He was somehow missing an arm and was struggling against an overwhelmingly powerful corpse in an extremely dark and tight space. Suddenly, the corpse hugged him, engulfing him in warmth. It felt comforting and soft. With that feeling, his nightmare ended.
When Shen Yuan opened his eyes, his arms had gone numb after sleeping on them, and the midnight snacks he’d made for He Xuan were gone. As Shen Yuan yawned and stretched his arms, something fell from his shoulders. Shen Yuan quickly caught it before it completely fell off. He smiled as he looked at the blanket draped over him, silently thanking He Xuan. Shen Yuan folded the blanket and placed it on the chair, sighing as he got up to check on He Xuan’s sister.
The sap was quickly burning out of her system. While generally harmless, it wouldn’t be good if Shen Yuan were to re-inject it so soon. Time was running out. He needed to get back to Shi Qingxuan as well, not wanting to keep Shi Qingxuan in what was essentially a medically-induced coma for longer than necessary.
After eating and checking on He Xuan’s sister again, Shen Yuan went to the front of the house to meditate, drawing to a stop when he saw He Xuan’s father working in the field. Even though He Xuan’s father was so old, he was still forced to sweat and work from sunrise to sunset to sustain the family.
Here was another good way to hug He Xuan’s thigh. He Xuan loved his family, so by helping He Xuan’s father, he could build He Xuan’s goodwill even more.
Shen Yuan quickly got up and grabbed his sword. He approached He Xuan’s father, offering his help with the harvest. When he happily accepted the offer of help, Shen Yuan made his way into the field, laying out talismans on the ground. He commanded his sword to fly into the field, quickly cutting all of the harvestable food. The talismans made the fallen crops float, preventing damage to them when they fell. What would have been a whole day of work for He Xuan’s father, ended up taking Shen Yuan a couple of minutes.
Even though Shen Yuan’s sword and talismans were used in such a disgraceful manner, Shen Yuan felt extremely proud he’d been able to help. Despite his delight, his face was the picture of an unaffected immortal when he graciously accepted He Xuan’s father’s effusive praise and thanks.
Shen Yuan started walking away to go back to meditating, but he glanced again in the direction of He Xuan’s father, and saw that he was struggling to water his crops. Of course Shen Yuan had to do something. Thinking hard on how he could best help the old man, he came up with the idea of creating an irrigation system.
Shen Yuan designed the plan for the irrigation system based on systems he’d remembered from the modern world, utilizing wooden troughs to help distribute the water. Shen Yuan spent his free time when he wasn’t teaching He Xuan or checking on He Xuan’s sister to carve the wooden pieces for the irrigation system with his sword, and then using his Qi to coat the wood to prevent damage from the water. Shen Yuan was in the middle of working on his mini-project when he was caught.
“What are you doing.” Shen Yuan tensed as He Xuan seemingly came out of nowhere, leaning over his shoulder. He Xuan narrowed his eyes when he saw Shen Yuan’s graceful hands filled with multiple cuts and scratches.
“This master…” Shen Yuan started to shift his eyes away from his little project, not able to meet He Xuan’s eyes. Shen Yuan wasn’t sure how to explain to He Xuan what exactly he was working on when it didn’t exactly exist in this world yet. “Wanted to do a small project.” Shen Yuan lamely finished.
He Xuan just sighed, grabbing the wood out of Shen Yuan’s hands. He took out a sharp carving knife.
“You look like you don’t know how to carve. Tell me what to do and I will do it.”
Shen Yuan unconsciously pouted as his plan to use the irrigation system to further hug He Xuan’s thighs disappeared. How could Shen Yuan take credit for the work when all the hard work was done by He Xuan? Shen Yuan could only sigh with regret as they worked together. It took about two days of hard work, finding time in between healing and studying to finish the project.
Shen Yuan and He Xuan were both in the field, working hard to install the irrigation system. Finally slotting the last piece in place, Shen Yuan heaved a big sigh of relief that they were done. His eyes sparkled with joy as he looked at He Xuan, proud of their accomplishment. He pushed himself up from where he’d been crouching, eager to look out over the completed project. However, he must have stood up too fast. Completely at odds with his graceful cultivator persona, he ended up losing his balance, and tripped over a stone right next to the ditch. Cursing in his head as he started to fall into the ditch, Shen Yuan clenched his eyes as he braced for the pain, but strangely, that pain never materialized. Shen Yuan slowly opened his eyes and met He Xuan’s unwavering gaze. He realized with a creeping sense of dread that instead of the hard ground, he was lying on top of He Xuan, with one of He Xuan’s arms wrapped protectively around his back and the other cradling his head. He Xuan had actually cushioned the fall with his own body.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Shen Yuan’s heart nearly left his body. He leaped off of He Xuan, frantically helping He Xuan up as well, patting him all over to check for injuries. He Xuan remained silent, only staring at him. Oh shit! He was definitely hurt! Shen Yuan cried internally, panic increasing when he saw that He Xuan was bleeding from his arm.
Because of his clumsiness, He Xuan ended up getting hurt and was bleeding from the fall. Shen Yuan’s thoughts raced around his head. He was doing the opposite of thigh hugging. Who had ever heard of hugging someone’s thigh by injuring them? What graceful immortal? Cultivation was a scam if he could still lose his balance so easily! Should he kneel down and plead for forgiveness? Wait. Fuck no he wasn’t Airplane Bro! He at least had more pride than that! But what could he do to make up for this? Shen Yuan’s heart cried tears of blood.
“It's fine.” He Xuan’s calm voice cut through his rapidly spiraling thoughts.
Desperately trying to do something to fix the situation, Shen Yuan gently held He Xuan’s arm, as he grabbed his handkerchief to try to clean the blood from one of the wounds. Just as Shen Yuan’s handkerchief touched He Xuan’s wound, the system blared back to life, harshly reminding Shen Yuan of his duty.
[Successfully obtained He Xuan’s blood. +50 B points]
Shen Yuan looked at his bloodied handkerchief, his hand tightening around it. He lowered his eyes and bit his lip, knowing his time was up. He had to complete his mission and switch He Xuan’s and Shi Qingxuan’s fates. He had finally obtained He Xuan’s blood. He should be happy, but he only felt nauseous, his stomach full of lead, as ice creeped down his spine. Shen Yuan put away his handkerchief, using his Qi to fully heal He Xuan’s wounds.
After healing He Xuan’s wounds, he ignored He Xuan’s outstretched hand to help him up. He returned to the guest room in a daze and threw himself onto the bed. Letting out a shuddering breath, he thought of the time he had spent with He Xuan’s family. He felt like he was suffocating in guilt, remembering their smiles and cheerfulness despite their poverty. They were human beings as well, and they also had family. However, Shen Yuan could only save one person. He was only allowed to save one person. Shen Yuan curled up, hugging his upper arms, digging his nails in so hard they started to bleed.
[System would like to send you a helpful reminder. Initiating Reminder Protocol.]
Shen Yuan shot up and cried, “No! You don’t need---” before the system once again mercilessly dragged Shen Yuan into a vision.
Shi Qingxuan was in front of him, tears streaming down his face as he desperately begged for Shen Yuan to help him. His body was nearly swallowed up by the dark smoke of The Venerable of Empty Words.
“Ge, why won’t you help me? You promised me! You promised everything would be alright. I don’t feel good, I want to die. I want to die so, so, so badly. Please just let me die, I want it all to stop. Gege help me, gege please!”
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’M SORRY!” Shen Yuan dropped to his knees, hands reaching up to clutch his hair, pain zinging through his head as he harshly clenched his fists. He needed to help his brother. What could he even do? What could he do? His brother was begging him as his older brother to save him. He was so useless. Useless--
[Failure of completing mission to switch Shi Qingxuan’s fate: -10,000 B points. Host’s account will be terminated if points go below zero.]
The system threw him into another vision. This time He Xuan was in front him, sauntering towards Shen Yuan with a hateful sneer on his face.
“No... no.. no... stop, stop. Please stop. I DIDN’T HAVE A CHOICE.” Shen Yuan moaned in dread as he tried to explain--something--anything.
He Xuan didn’t say a word, seemingly ignoring all of Shen Yuan’s beggin. He stopped in front of Shen Yuan, giving him a malicious smile as he took Shen Yuan’s hands into his. Shen Yuan’s eyes widened in shock when He Xuan gently caressed his hands. What was he doing? His mind buzzed in shock, and he didn’t dare move. One of He Xuan’s hands remained in his, as the other traveled up to his face, gently cupping it. However, the illusion of gentleness violently shattered, when in one swift movement, He Xuan ripped one of Shen Yuan’s arms off. Shen Yuan’s vision whited out, ears filled with a ringing sound as he tried not to vomit. In a twisted form of luck, the excruciating pain snapped Shen Yuan out of his vision.
Trembling on the bed in the now dark room, he gasped for breath, his throat sore from suppressed screams. Cruel. He thought to himself. The visions were just too cruel. He knew that he’d been dragging his feet on completing the mission, but the system’s reminder was absolutely ruthless. He let himself fall into unconsciousness, not even bothering to change out of his dirtied robes.
For the remaining time of Shen Yuan’s stay, he distanced himself from He Xuan. He no longer initiated conversation, nor did he continue tutoring him. Once He Xuan’s sister was fully healed, Shen Yuan, left like a coward in the middle of the night. Not even leaving behind a name.
Chapter 4: I Am Finally God
Summary:
Character Drowning Warning.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
[Mission: Ascend to heaven. 100 B Points]
With a heavy heart, Shen Yuan headed home, his stomach felt as if it was twisted into knots, and his eyes had trouble focusing on the path in front of him. He headed straight for Shi Qingxuan’s room, to clear away the dregs of medicine remaining in his brother’s blood. The moment that Shi Qingxuan woke up, he grabbed Shen Yuan, slamming his fist against Shen Yuan’s chest as he sobbed. After a while, Shi Qingxuan’s fist loosened, choosing to hold instead of hit, as he pulled Shen Yuan tightly against himself.
Shen Yuan gently ran his fingers through Shi Qingxuan’s unbound hair, wrapping his other hand firmly around Shi Qingxuan’s waist as he pulled him into a tighter hug. “Shhhh, I am here. I am here.”
Without You My Life Is Pitch Black.
“Ge! You made me sleep before you left! Why... Why did you leave? WHY DID YOU LEAVE? Does… does Ge want--” Shi Qingxuan sobbed louder rather than finish his last sentence. He didn’t want to know if his brother regretted having him as a younger sibling and wanted to abandon him. His brother always left him behind; this was the second time he had left without saying anything. Shi Qingxuan didn’t even know how long he’d slept before his brother had finally come back.
He was terrified his brother would eventually get rid of him. He couldn’t. He was the only one Shi Qingxuan had in the whole world. The Venerable of Empty Words was a constant weight on Shi Qingxuan’s shoulders, dragging him down with every step. He couldn’t bear the burden anymore. He just wanted to grab onto his brother and let him deal with everything.
Shi Qingxuan had never had to deal with this kind of stress before, because his older brother had always carried the brunt of the work. He simply couldn’t understand why his brother couldn’t smooth away his troubles like always.
It took a couple of hours before Shi Qingxuan’s sobs finally calmed down, but they remained wrapped around each other until the sun went to bed and they were graced by the moon.
The Things I Don’t Want To Do
Finally pulling away from Shi Qingxuan, Shen Yuan softly patted his head, as he sat up on their shared bed. “I’m sorry, but I had to leave for a very important matter. I wanted to be sure that you could be protected. Would you still like to talk about it?”
The usually talkative Shi Qingxuan paled and quickly shook his head, pointing at Shen Yuan, saying quietly, “I want to hear about what Ge has been doing.” The teen didn’t want to hear his brother possibly reject him. He simply wanted to listen to his brother’s soothing voice. Shen Yuan’s voice, or rather Shi Wudu’s voice always managed to calm Shi Qingxuan down. It was as if by simply hearing that voice, no matter what happened, his brother would be there to protect him. While the original Shi Wudu was more than willing to do so and had the strength, will power, and ruthlessness to back it up, Shen Yuan found he lacked the ability within himself to do the same.
“While I was away, I met this aspiring scholar and lived with them for a bit. He-- His family was kind and welcoming. Although they were not the wealthiest, they were happy with what they had, content with simply having each other. I...” Shen Yuan couldn’t continue, the words ‘I feel sorry for them.’ were stuck in his throat as he looked at Shi Qingxuan’s bright eyes staring directly at him. Guilt locked away his voice. How dare he feel sorry? He was pushing an innocent family to their doom, simply because he didn’t want to see the light fade from Shi Qingxuan’s eyes.
Despite the System’s visions, he was still torn. Choosing between Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan and his family. Could he disregard his own morals? He didn’t know what he should do. It would be so much easier if he was the original Shi Wudu. The choice would have been obvious since to Shi Wudu, it was no choice at all.
“Ge?” Shi Qingxuan’s quivering voice startled Shen Yuan. He blinked rapidly as he broke out of his dark thoughts.
“Qingxuan, let's say. . .” Shen Yuan frowned at his wording and after much thought, he carefully changed his words. “Would you like to hear a story?” Shi Qingxuan nodded enthusiastically.
Shen Yuan began again, “Once, there was a pair of siblings who lived in a world slightly different from ours. The brothers only had each other, because their parents had passed on far too early.”
“Just like us?” Shi Qingxuan eagerly questioned.
“A little bit different from us. In this world, the two brothers lived together until an evil being appeared. This creature only knew malice, deciding to torment one of the siblings and destroy his life.”
“Why would it do that? Why did it bully only one of the brothers?”
Shen Yuan sighed, “I don’t know. This world is a cruel one where anything could happen. In this story, the evil being had no clear reason why he chose to torment that brother. It could have been part of a grand scheme or some sick form of entertainment. The only sure thing was that it happened.”
Shi Qingxuan leaned closer to Shen Yuan, gaze rapt with attention as the story went on. Shen Yuan paused, subconsciously reaching for his fan, needing something to do with his hands while he spoke. When Shen Yuan moved to do so, Shi Qingxuan grabbed his hands, placing them on his cheeks.
“Ge. Why are you nervous?” Shi Qingxuan stared closely at Shen Yuan’s face.
Was he really so obvious that even Shi Qingxuan could tell something was wrong? Shen Yuan looked to the side, letting out a burst of nervous laughter before pulling his hand away. “I… I’m not nervous... Why would I be?”
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes narrowed a bit before deciding to snuggle back into his brother’s chest. His brother really did seem nervous when he talked about this story. The fact that he denied it made Shi Qingxuan think that there was something more to the story.
“I. . .Um. . .where was I?” Shen Yuan stuttered, trying to regain his composure.
“The evil being just came into the brothers' lives.” Shi Qingxuan chirped.
“Ahh, yes. The evil being came into the brothers’ lives and started to torment one of the brothers. There was only one way to stop it, and even though it was cruel, the other brother, the elder, decided to do it. He switched his brother’s fate with that of an innocent person’s. The innocent’s life was completely destroyed by the older brother’s action. And. . .and. . In-order to... to get revenge, He X-- the innocent man completely changed himself and darkened his heart, devoting himself to his sole goal of vengeance. “
“Why would he... Why would the brother choose to do something like that?” Shi Qingxuan’s eyes widened as he reached out, gripping Shen Yuan’s arm tightly.
“Save a stranger’s life or a family member’s life? The choice is cruel and unfair to all involved, but at the end of the day, life isn’t fair either. Between two people, one of them will be deemed to be more valuable than the other. In this particular case, the elder thought his younger brother was more valuable. Thus, the older brother easily made his choice because he believed it to be the correct one.” Shen Yuan swallowed hard before continuing.
“The elder brother didn’t want to burden his younger brother, shielding him from the knowledge of what had happened. Unfortunately, the man the elder had doomed found the brothers. To complete his revenge, he decided to befriend the clueless younger brother, using their friendship to get closer to the elder. Successfully doing so, he then trapped them in a dungeon, forcing them to repent for their actions, before finally killing the older brother and crippling the younger brother for life. In this. . .Based on this. . .story, what do you think of the characters? What do you think they should have done?”
Shen Yuan nibbled on his bottom lip as he looked at Shi Qingxuan’s face, searching for any hint of his emotions or thoughts.
“I... I don’t know... But I do know that switching the fate of the younger brother’s with that innocent man’s was selfish and unfair. To be honest, it’s all horrible. I don’t like this story Ge. I want a different one.” Shi Qingxuan whined at the end as he tightened his hold on Shen Yuan, as if he was afraid his brother was going to leave.
“O-- Okay then. I’ll tell you another story.” He racked his brain until he remembered. “Once, long ago, when magical creatures and heroes still roamed the land, there was a man named Wei Wuxian. His name was reviled by the people as an evil demonic cultivator. But--” Shen Yuan continued to talk until Shi Qingxuan fell asleep, leaving him alone in the darkness with only his thoughts.
Shi Qingxuan may have thought Shi Wudu’s decision was horrible, but he had no idea how much helplessness and desperation his brother experienced, trying to think of ways to save him. He didn’t understand the feeling of isolation—of having no one to depend on. Shi Wudu was the older brother. He was supposed to be the one to protect the younger, and in the end, he completed his duty. Unfortunately, after learning what he did, his younger brother denounced his actions as horrible and evil.
Shi Qingxuan would never have to think about this situation. He would never have to think of the consequences or anything at all. After all, he had his older brother, who would deal with anything and everything for him. Shen Yuan wasn’t strong enough for this duty. He really wasn’t.
While he, along with all the other forums, also thought that Shi Wudu’s death was well deserved, he did feel that being willing to do anything for his loved ones was nothing but brave. Unconditional love was hard to obtain and was something admirable, but in this case, it was also a form of punishment. How could someone be willing to watch their loved one suffer when they could stop it? Regardless of the method, they would be forced to take action—especially if they loved them completely.
After living as Shi Wudu and living through the same experiences, he could finally understand Shi Wudu’s decisions. He couldn’t allow Shi Qingxuan to continue suffering. Shen Yuan had to do something. Even though it was horrific and disgusting.
Shen Yuan looked down at his chest, where he had hidden the bloodied handkerchief, biting his lips. If he followed Shi Wudu’s choice, and continued this path, would Shi Qingxuan also find him disgusting? Would he turn away from him then? He didn’t want to be hated, especially by someone he’d supported and loved through this life. He’d only wanted to be loved.
Shen Yuan gently settled Shi Qingxuan onto the bed. Taking the bloody handkerchief from his robes, he walked out the door. The night sky was clear, and stars twinkled brightly, the moonlight illuminating his body. He felt his Qi, strongly flowing within his body, feeling almost as if he was a cup about to overflow. His steps lightened as he made his way to the lake as if being drawn there. It was time for him to ascend.
He slowly waded to the middle of the lake’s clear waters, letting his hair fall freely around him, as he allowed the water to drench him. Sighing with relief, he felt calm as the water surrounded him. This was the calmest he had ever been since he’d transmigrated into this world.
Shen Yuan patiently waited, allowing his spiritual power to fully run its course. The waters started to swirl around him, lightly glowing with spiritual power, feeling warm and welcoming. Clutching the bloody handkerchief to his heart, he closed his eyes.
In the middle of the peaceful night, with not a soul around, Shen Yuan ascended.
[ Mission Accomplished +100 B points]
The Calm Before The Storm.
The clock in the Heavens rang in celebration when Shen Yuan ascended. However, he didn’t see a single soul when he reached Heaven. Apparently, all of the gods were currently hiding from Xie Lian. Xie Lian’s kingdom was fated to fall and no one wanted to get involved. Xie Lian was one of the newer gods, and was so busy answering all of his worshipper’s prayers, that he hadn’t yet noticed one part of his kingdom was starting to suffer. The moment he realized, everything would start to go downhill.
Not hearing any instructions from the System, Shen Yuan wandered aimlessly, taking in the sights. After walking for a bit, he finally bumped into another god, causing all the scrolls they were carrying to clatter to the ground. She was wearing plain black robes without any accessories, and even though she was a god, looked exhausted, sporting prominent eye bags. She quickly and efficiently started to pick up all the fallen scrolls without a word of greeting or even censure.
Apologetically, Shen Yuan bent down to help collect her scrolls. Judging from her appearance, he figured that she must be Ling Wen, one of the future three tumors.
In the original novel, Ling Wen was the foremost literature god as well as part of the three tumors. Even though she was extremely competent and had many accomplishments, she was constantly looked down upon due to her gender. At the time, the female civil gods were considered to be nothing more than lowly servants or pretty eye candy, unable to gain much power in heaven, nor have much expected of them. Despite this, Ling Wen managed to rise to power, playing a key role in the novel, as well as in Shi Wudu’s own history. They were important to each other, with Ling Wen helping Shi Wudu cover his dirty deeds, while Shi Wudu helped Ling Wen rise to power.
Smiling ruefully, he addressed her, “Apologies for causing you trouble. This master has just recently ascended and is called Shi Wudu. Who might you be?”
Ling Wen looked at him with an even expression, before responding, “I am Ling Wen, deputy of Jing Wen. If you recently ascended, you should report to the Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu. He is the Martial God in charge of all Heaven.”
He attempted to make conversation with her, but seeing as Ling Wen was clearly busy, he quickly bid farewell before they parted ways.
As Ling Wen hurried away, Shen Yuan rubbed at his temples, groaning a little. Talking to Ling Wen had been difficult, because she seemed emotionless—as if she were dead inside. It didn’t help that they were complete strangers. While having a one-way conversation with a stranger was pretty stressful, it wasn’t as stressful as going to meet Jun Wu.
Jun Wu was the main villain of Heaven’s Official Blessings, and he was also the one who created the Venerable of Empty Words, ultimately starting the source of Shen Yuan’s grief. The fact that he knew that he was the villain, and had to meet him in person was slightly terrifying.
Steeling his nerves, Shen Yuan, walked with heavy feet towards the Great Martial Hall. He announced himself to one of the officials there, where he was then escorted in front of Jun Wu. The Heavenly Emperor was dressed in pure white armor, his features calm as he observed Shen Yuan from atop his throne. From his dignified posture alone, Shen Yuan could feel the strength of his spiritual pressure. What scared him more than the strength he felt, was that he knew that most of Jun Wu’s power was still hidden. When he met Jun Wu’s deep obsidian eyes, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but shiver, ice running down his spine as if he’d been plunged into the depths of a frozen lake.
Jun Wu stared into his eyes, finally breaking eye contact to smile gently at him as he gestured for him to come forward. Shen Yuan’s heart was racing. What did that smile mean? Was Jun Wu planning to kill him after he was done trying to turn Xie Lian into his heir? Did he already know that Shi Wudu would become the strongest elemental god, and thus be a potential threat to his schemes? While Jun Wu hadn’t seemed to go after Shi Wudu in the original novel, Shen Yuan still couldn’t stop the paranoid thoughts from spiraling around his brain.
His hands were trembling and sweating, thankfully hidden in his sleeves, but he still managed to gracefully kowtow to pay his respects to the Heavenly Emperor. Straightening, he pulled his fan from his belt, snapping it open with nerveless fingers as he faced Jun Wu once more.
“My Lord, this master is called Shi Wudu and is the newest water god. This master would like to request that his brother ascend as a god as well.” Shen Yuan lifted his chin proudly, meeting Jun Wu’s eyes. Even if Jun Wu was the villain, he refused to let the man intimidate him, as he cut right to the point of why he even became a god in the first place.
Jun Wu raised an eyebrow, clasping his hands as he leaned towards Shen Yuan. “Is that so? As you know, this Lord is the Martial God Heavenly Emperor, Jun Wu. For your request, you may bring your brother to Heaven to serve under you as a heavenly official of the Middle Court. As you are a new water god, an empty water palace has been placed aside for you.” Jun Wu then waved his hand in clear dismissal to Shen Yuan, “You may go now to ensure that everything is in order.”
“Thank you, my Lord.” Shen Yuan breathed an internal sign of relief that he’d be able to quickly escape Jun Wu’s presence. He bowed deeply to Jun Wu, turning to leave. Unfortunately for Shen Yuan, while he was adept at controlling his facial expressions, he’d failed to control the expression in his eyes before he’d turned away from Jun Wu. Jun Wu shifted, seeing the new water god’s eyes burning at him with suspicion.
“Wait.” Jun Wu’s deep command immediately froze Shen Yuan in place.
Shen Yuan turned around to face Jun Wu once more. What else did Jun Wu need from him? Shen Yuan slowly fanned his face as the tension in the air grew.
“Yes?” Shen Yuan’s voice squeaked.
“Come closer to this Lord.” Jun Wu ordered. Shen Yuan, mind whirring, slowly moved towards Jun Wu, stopping halfway up the steps to the throne. Shen Yuan’s heart leapt into his throat as Jun Wu suddenly stood up, leisurely walking down to him.
When he reached Shen Yuan, Jun Wu placed a hand on his shoulder, ratcheting Shen Yuan’s heart rate to match Flight of the Bumblebee BPM levels. Too close to his neck! Too close!
“Take this.” Jun Wu reached into his sleeve, drawing out a fan tassel before handing it to Shen Yuan. When he took it from the god’s hand, Jun Wu smiled, showing a hint of teeth, before saying, “Welcome to heaven.”
“Thank you.” It was best to walk away before anything happened, but when he tried to draw away from Jun Wu, he was stopped once more, Jun Wu tightened his grip on his shoulder.
“Why don’t you put the tassel on the fan? I want to be sure it suits you.” Jun Wu tilted his head at Shen Yuan.
Sweat dripped down Shen Yuan’s back. He didn’t want a suspicious item from an even more suspicious villain, and he especially didn’t want to attach it to his favorite fan. Knowing he didn’t really have a choice, he quickly attached the tassel to his fan with shaking fingers.
Jun Wu gave a quick glance at the tassel attached to Shen Yuan’s fan, before his smile widened further. He pulled out a bag of merits, handing it to Shen Yuan. “Take these merits as well, since you haven’t gotten any yourself yet.”
After taking the merits and thanking Jun Wu, Shen Yuan finally managed to pull himself out of Jun Wu’s grasp and beelined out of the throne room. At a speed that definitely did not mean he was running away, he descended back to his and Shi Qingxuan’s home in the mortal world.
Once Shen Yuan arrived back home, he ripped the tassel off his fan, sealing it away in a box. Shen Yuan had no idea what the tassel was for, but knowing that Jun Wu was the big baddie, he was not going to take any chances.
Shen Yuan snuck back into bed, not knowing that Shi Qingxuan was actually wide awake, having been awake since his brother had left. Once Shen Yuan fell asleep, Shi Qingxuan pulled his brother towards him, holding him tight. Shi Qingxuan wasn’t going to allow himself to be left behind by his brother.
The moment Shen Yuan attempted to get off the bed and get ready for the day, Shi Qingxuan’s arm shot out and grabbed Shen Yuan’s robes.
“Ge, where are you going?”
Shen Yuan looked down at Shi Qingxuan’s trembling hands. He reached down, grabbing his brother’s hands, “Qingxuan. Don’t be scared.”
Shen Yuan gave Shi Qingxuan a trembling smile as he continued, “I found a way to help you. Trust me.”
Shen Yuan pulled Shi Qingxuan up, and they both dressed for the day. He then brought Shi Qingxuan to the lake that he’d ascended in the night prior. Shen Yuan gently held Shi Qingxuan’s hand as he walked into the water.
Shi Qingxuan followed his brother without hesitation, going deeper and deeper into the water. When the water level reached his chest, he tightened his grip on his brother’s hand, leaving no doubt that regardless of what his brother did, he would follow.
Shen Yuan turned and faced Shi Qingxuan just as the water level reached both of their chins. Shi Qingxuan smiled at Shen Yuan, grabbing his other hand as he waited. Slowly, Shen Yuan smiled at Shi Qingxuan, heart full and warm at the sight of his younger brother’s trust.
It had been so long since he’d seen his brother truly smile. Seeing it, Shi Qingxuan’s eyes widened and he stilled for a couple of seconds before his face bloomed with happiness.
“Let’s go to Heaven together.”
“Okay.”
Both brothers walked closer together, foreheads touching as they floated gently in the lake. Closing their eyes, they sunk under the surface, becoming one with the warm and calming water.
“ System, bring us to heaven.”
[System will bring Host and Host’s brother to heaven, but Host must learn how to use spiritual abilities.]
Whether Heaven Or Hell, I Will Gladly Follow. All I Ever Wanted Was To Be Together With You.
The System transported them to the Water Palace. When Shen Yuan finally felt solid ground under him, he slowly loosened his hold on Shi Qingxuan and opened his eyes. Ling Wen stood in front of them, scrolls and writing materials in her arms.
“Welcome back to Heaven. Here are the forms you need to fill out to appoint your brother to the middle court.” Ling Wen didn’t bother with a greeting, jumping straight to the point as she handed the scrolls and a brush to Shen Yuan.
He glanced down at Shi Qingxuan, who seemed to have passed out when they’d ascended. Slowly lowering his brother, he took the offered items, quickly filling out the forms before handing them back to Ling Wen. He paused, brow furrowing as he asked, “Ling Wen, how did you know to bring this here at this time?”
“The Heavenly Emperor gave me the information, and instructed me to meet you.”
Shen Yuan faintly thanked her, brain spinning. Unaware but also uncaring of Shen Yuan’s inner turmoil, Ling Wen quickly sped off, her task completed.
Jun Wu again? Ling Wen was probably trustworthy at this moment because she, along with Pei Ming, were meant to be Shi Wudu’s best friends. However, the speed and timing at which she gave him the scroll was rather suspicious. If, as was most likely, she was innocent and was only following Jun Wu’s orders, that would mean that Jun Wu had been monitoring his activities the entire time. How else would he know the exact time and place to send Ling Wen? Even more worrying, was why exactly was the Heavenly Emperor watching Shi Wudu, a newly ascended god with no real established power?
The sound of Shi Qingxuan’s coughs brought Shen Yuan out of his thoughts.
“Qingxuan, are you okay?” Shen Yuan placed a hand against Shi Qingxuan’s back, slowly rubbing.
“I’m fine. But Ge, what exactly happened?” Shi Qingxuan pushed himself up as he slowly took in his surroundings.
“We are currently in Heaven, I—”
“We're in Heaven?” Shi Qingxuan’s eyes widened.
“Yes it’s—“
“Oh my god, the air feels amazing, the temperature is great, and my body feels so light!” Shi Qingxuan proceeded to drag Shen Yuan to look around, not listening to Shen Yuan. As Shi Qingxuan saw that the interior of the palace was completely empty, he shook his head in displeasure.
“Wow, this palace in Heaven looks terrible, not at all what I imagined.” Shi Qingxuan pouted, looking at the empty walls.
“Qingxuan.” Shen Yuan raised his voice to grab Shi Qingxuan’s attention. While he was too cool of cucumber to yell, his voice was authoritative enough to grab Shi Qingxuan’s attention.
Shi Qingxuan quickly sobered, stopping in place as he looked at his brother, waiting for him to speak.
“I ascended—“ Shen Yuan was barely able to say ascended when Shi Qingxuan jumped him, hugging him with excitement.
“Congratulations! Congratulations Gege! GE is the BEST!”
Shen Yuan sighed fondly at Shi Qingxuan’s excitement as he hugged back.
Times like this won’t last. Not with Venerable of Empty Words still out there, but please, please let me at least have this moment.
“This is Heaven Qingxuan. This is your new home.”
Let Me Give You Happiness.
Shen Yuan didn’t have enough control over his powers yet, nor did he have enough influence in Heaven. Therefore, it would be unwise to allow Shi Qingxuan to run around before he could adequately protect him. Because he was still so weak, he was unable to fully watch over his brother.
Gaining significant power and wealth in order to be like the Shi Wudu in the novel would take a long time. A long time away from Shi Qingxuan, where he’d be alone in an unknown area with unknown gods. He had to get power as fast as possible to make sure he could properly protect his brother.
“Qingxuan, I have to go train so that I can properly control my powers. Would you be alright alone?”
Shi Qingxuan looked a bit hesitant, but he still slowly nodded his head. Looking at Shi Qingxuan’s downcast eyes and trembling lips, Shen Yuan sighed, and gave him a head rub.
“Ge! My hair!” Shi Qingxuan screeched, but instead of leaning away, he grabbed his brother’s hands, leaning into them. His brother’s touch and presence was always a source of comfort for him, especially in an unfamiliar environment.
Shen Yuan smirked before he suddenly ruffled his hands through Shi Qingxuan’s hair. “Ge! Ahh!” Shi Qingxuan wiggled out of his brother’s hold and tackled him to the ground. Shi Qingxuan got on top of his brother, grinning at his brother’s shocked expression. His grin became more malicious as he reached for Shen Yuan’s ribs, tickling him mercilessly. Shen Yuan’s eyes widened, trying to curl away before he broke into laughter. Unfortunately, Shi Qingxuan knew just where his weak points were, and it wasn’t long before Shen Yuan started howling with laughter, completely losing control of his facial expressions.
“Shi Qingxuan, Ahhh. Stop, hahaha. Stop, ahhh haha, stop--” Shen Yuan cried before reaching for Shi Qingxuan and trying to tickle him back. Dang it, Shi Qingxuan was better at tickling than he was.
He gasped for air, hazily wondering when was the last time he’d laughed so freely, letting his facial expressions be so completely unguarded?
The brother’s room was filled with laughter, the atmosphere warm and happy as they finally flopped to the side, unanimously calling a truce. They lay there in contented silence, still slightly wheezing from the impromptu tickle fight.
[Mission: Get control over your new abilities. 50 B points]
Just like that, the moment shattered. The System knew exactly when to destroy the atmosphere. All contentment Shen Yuan had felt, fled immediately the moment he heard the System. Once again, he was reminded of his duty.
Shen Yuan pushed himself up to one elbow. Clenching his eyes, he took deep breaths, slowly regaining control over his body and emotions. He looked down at his disheveled state, and sheepishly straightened himself back up. While his face still felt hot, he managed to gain control over his expressions, and recovered his refined aura.
“Don’t do that again, it is unbecoming.” Shen Yuan tried to scold Shi Qingxuan, but his voice was obviously filled with affection.
“Fine, Ge.” Shi Qingxuan smiled at him, clearly unrepentant.
Laughing hard might have hurt his stomach and dignity, but it did help lighten his mood. It was something that they had both needed.
“When I go train and resolve wishes, I will give you some money to spend. Can you help me decorate the palace?” He knew that it wouldn’t be safe to leave Shi Qingxuan alone with nothing to do. To make sure Shi Qingxuan was not surrounding himself with people with ill intentions, he had to make sure he stayed busy.
Just as Shen Yuan thought, Shi Qingxuan excitedly agreed. Shi Qingxuan loved decorations and anything beautiful, so something like decorating his palace was right up his alley.
Decorating the palace was going to be a lot of work. Hopefully, by the time Shi Qingxuan finished decorating, Shen Yuan would have completed his mission. While he didn’t really want to use the merits from Jun Wu, he was flat broke and he needed to keep Shi Qingxuan busy. Besides, there wasn’t any shame at all in using the money as long as he later repaid it. Yup. Absolutely no shame at all.
Shen Yuan looked consideringly at his brother’s disheveled state, before gently helping him fix his hair and clothes. Walking around in commoner’s clothing from the moral world was unsuited for their newly acquired status. Even though Shen Yuan personally didn’t mind, he also didn’t want him or Shi Qingxuan to be looked down upon by others.
“Let’s go buy some clothes.” Shen Yuan pulled Shi Qingxuan’s hand into his as they left the palace. Shen Yuan bought Shi Qingxuan all the clothing he couldn’t buy him before. He got his brother multiple robes of different colors, delicately sewn and lightly embellished with jewels and beautiful embroidery. After purchasing Shi Qingxuan’s clothes, he used the remaining amount to buy himself sturdy and practical white and blue robes.
After shopping, they wandered hand in hand, taking in all the scenery that Heaven had to offer.
If You Were A Whirlpool, Even If I Died, I Would Still Leap Into Your Embrace With No Hesitation.
“ System how am I supposed to train?”
[System could check the database for instructions, but System thinks it would be faster for Host to sink into a body of water with a lot of spiritual energy and figure it out.]
Something the System said didn’t seem quite right, but left without any other options or ideas, and wanting to hurry and master his powers, Shen Yuan could do nothing but follow its suggestion.
After giving Shi Qingxuan all the money he had, Shen Yuan descended to the mortal realm to train.
Once he returned to the mortal realm, he walked along in search of a body of water with a high amount of spiritual energy. However, finding a good water source was quickly proving much more difficult to find than expected.
Shen Yuan walked for quite some time in the mortal world, before he finally found a suitable water source—a river called the Luo river. Reminded of his sticky Binghe, he could almost hear his voice whining ‘Shizun’ to him. Shaking himself out of his maudlin thoughts, he instead turned to the more important task at hand: Accomplishing the system’s mission to control his powers. He cautiously made his way into the river, sinking deep inside.
The water felt cold and unwelcoming. He poured spiritual power into his fan, demanding control, but the water refused to obey his commands. It pressed down on his body, not allowing him to convert the spiritual pressure to breathe underwater. When Shen Yuan could no longer handle the aggressive water, he attempted to swim up, but realized in horror that he couldn’t. The river waters swirled around him furiously, dragging him deeper.
“ SYSTEM!!!” Shen Yuan cried multiple times, but was met only with silence.
Shen Yuan couldn’t die when he was in his god form, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t feel in excruciating detail what it felt like to drown. Because he couldn’t tame the water to obedience, it was now turning on him to devour him whole. Shen Yuan’s eyes burned, his instincts screaming at him to fight his way to the surface to breathe, but how could he hope to reach the surface when he was too weak to even break free from the water’s grasp?
The pressure of the water inexorably pushed down on his body from all sides, dragging him deeper ever so slowly—as if it wanted Shen Yuan to slowly understand that his desperately flailing limbs were of no use. Despite his struggles, he was unable to do anything but watch himself sink.
Shen Yuan couldn't escape. He couldn’t control his powers. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t even cry out for help. He was alone. He could do nothing but submit himself to his fate and hope for mercy that would not come.
Despite knowing the futility of the situation, or because of it, Shen Yuan only panicked more, fighting fruitlessly against the waters. He just needed to breathe. Just. One. Breath. Shen Yuan’s lungs burned. He felt dizzy, and he couldn’t even tell which way the surface was anymore. His arms and legs were numb, as his panicked struggles gradually came to a stop. Blood pounded behind his eyes as his vision spotted, and then finally blackened.
Shen Yuan drowned in the Luo River.
However, because he was a god, he couldn’t die. His drowned body bobbed to the surface of the river, the water finally letting him go, but as soon as he revived, the water mercilessly pulled him down again. Shen Yuan drowned countless times, pushing through a rising sense of despair that threatened to overwhelm him, before finally gaining enough control to battle against the river.
It took about a month before Shen Yuan was able to finally win against the water and free himself. He dragged himself out of the river, coughing until his throat hurt, vision blurred with tears.
During that time, Shen Yuan had drowned over 100 times.
Shen Yuan heard an annoying ding sound, and knew that the system was finally back.
“System, what the fuck was that?!”
[System thanks Host for his hard work. As promised, System found a manual to help guide Host earlier this month.]
“ Why didn’t you help me earlier?” Shen Yuan desperately asked, despite knowing the cold truth.
[System saw Host was training hard and didn’t want to distract Host from gaining experience.]
If Shen Yuan could, he would totally drown the System and see how it liked also gaining experience. It was only fair. Unfortunately, he couldn’t, so he could only mentally scream at it.
The System probably didn’t appreciate his insults, because he was suddenly smacked on the head as a thick manual dropped out of thin air. Shen Yuan petulantly rubbed his bruised head with an annoyed huff. Grateful to finally be on solid ground, Shen Yuan flopped down to flip through the manual.
Shen Yuan’s eyes narrowed, a vein ticking in his forehead as he read the first passage.
First step: Practice with a small amount of water. This water should be water that you are very familiar with. For example, if there is a lake that you often go to, use water from that lake. Water has a strong personality, so water that is familiar will be easier to command because it is far more likely to listen to you.
Warning: Never start with water filled with spiritual energy. No matter how familiar or how small the body of water you choose, water with spiritual energy is far more stubborn than normal water, and is thus harder to control. If you are unable to control the water, it will turn on you and attempt to devour you.
Because of the System’s suggestion, he’d done the number one thing to not do when trying to control his powers. Additionally, this warning was very easy to find, as it was on the front page of the manual, bolded, and underlined. The System definitely made him go through that hellish training on purpose.
“Shitty System! Where’s my refund????”
After another month, training with the help of the manual, Shen Yuan was able to successfully master his control over the water. Taking a big breath, he hesitantly walked into Luo River, allowing himself to sink below the surface once more.
[Mission Accomplished. +50 B Points]
Notes:
Mini Chat Room With Airplane and Cucumber
ASTTS: Cucumber bro, where are you?
PC: I am currently stuck in Heaven Official Blessing.
ASTTS: Dang you transmigrated again? Heaven Official Blessing, I remember also reading it. Who tho?
PC: Shi Wudu.
ASTTS:. . . . . . . .
ASTTS: That one character that got his forearms and head ripped off?
PC: Yes
.
ASTTS: . . . . .PC: Airplane?
ASTTS: Bro. . .I dunno about you but I think you are fated to have your limbs ripped and being a villain. Maybe it could count as a talent or something?
PC: FUCK you. You hack of a writer.
ASTTS: Hey look on the bright side, you managed to escape once, you can do it again
.
PC: LIKE IT IS THAT EASY. I am already losing my mind.ASTTS: At least after the limb ripping you would just die, not like the original Shen Qingqiu who got tortured so badly but still couldn’t die.
PC: I guess that is true.
ASTTS: At least you aren’t Jin Guanyao who after dying is shut in a close space with his worst nightmare and is constantly stuck between fighting to the death or Nie Mingjue who got his limbs cut off and limbs released to do evil things.
*One Transmigration later*
PC: FUCK YOU AIRPLANE. REALLY FUCK YOU. YOU THINK IT IS FUNNY DON’T YOU. I WILL HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT IT ISN’T. NOW I AM STUCK IN GRANDMASTER AND I SWEAR I WILL FUCK YOU UP WHEN I GET THE CHANCE TO.
Chapter 5: All I Want Was To Have A Happy Life
Notes:
Warning 18+ ish (but also not really?)
Also warning for background child abuse, torture, and gory.Shen Yuan and Pei Ming are currently on a mission about missing children which contains gory.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Sunlight glinted off the water as Shen Yuan stepped into the river with a confident smile, sinking into its depths. The water submitted easily to his whims, as he commanded the currents around his body. He drifted lazily down the river as it cradled him in a warm hold.
It was peaceful underwater, muffled birdsong filtered to his ears, while the sun’s beams were gently refracted through the water’s depths. Feeling slightly bored, he sensed a lake ahead and decided to surface. Shen Yuan floated, enjoying the sun bathing his form, while the water playfully splashed him from time to time. It felt crazy that he could so effortlessly control the waters now, when merely a month ago, he could only helplessly follow their whims. The trauma and fear of drowning were held at bay by his growing confidence in his quickly increasing skills.
Deciding it’d be good to practice fine control of his powers, Shen Yuan began to create small constructs out of water. Delicately shaping the water, he used a hand sign to infuse his spiritual power to create a small crane. As it perched on top of the water’s surface, slowly flaring its wings, he reached into the river, cupping water into his hands. Breathing out slowly, he painstakingly created translucent lotuses and water lilies that sparkled in the light as they floated around the crane.
He was so occupied with playing with his creations, he almost missed the sound of hurried footsteps coming towards him. He glanced in the direction of the sound, eyes widening when he saw exactly who headed his way. Black robes fluttered around He Xuan as he strode towards Shen Yuan, and in a moment of panic, he dove into the water to try to escape He Xuan’s sight.
Fuck his luck! Why couldn’t he pay more attention to his surroundings? Of course he’d surface at the lake near the home of the ONE PERSON he was trying to avoid! He couldn’t show his face to He Xuan! The more they met, the greater the likelihood of recognition, and therefore the greater the likelihood that hate would grow. Unless absolutely necessary, Shen Yuan would rather not appear in front of He Xuan at all. Unfortunately, He Xuan didn’t seem to share this thought, as he continued to move closer to Shen Yuan’s hiding place, and had started to wade into the lake. At this point, he couldn’t escape. He was going to get exposed.
Suddenly a name passed through his brain, his one brain cell lighting up. SHI QINGXUAN!
In the novel, Shi Qingxuan constantly switched between his male and female forms. In fact, when he’d met the protagonist, because he was in his female form, Xie Lian hadn’t recognized him when he appeared in his male form. That's right! He could just transform into his female form, since He Xuan had already met his male form. He could pretend like he’d never met He Xuan. He knew nothing and no one. He Xuan who? Satisfied with his plan, he quickly changed into his female form.
Once he successfully transformed, he slowly resurfaced. He Xuan was standing in the shallows, his eyes fixed on Shen Yuan’s face, brow furrowed. With some hesitation, he asked, “Is it… You?”
“Excuse me sir, but what do you mean?” Shen Yuan tilted his head, smiling gently up at He Xuan.
His eyes narrowed. “You-- Why did you leave without saying anything?”
“Leave? Sir, I am afraid that you seem to have mistaken me as someone else.”
Dang it. He Xuan was a little too sharp. Good thing Shen Yuan was currently in his female form. That should definitely throw He Xuan off, since he’d clearly been male the last time they’d seen each other. Mentally patting his back for his quick thinking, Shen Yuan swam to shore and started to make his way out of the lake, completely forgetting that his robes were mostly white and also completely drenched. He didn’t notice anything was wrong until he had a bundle of black cloth thrust into his arms.
“What?” Shen Yuan clutched at the black fabric, eyes wide and confused.
He Xuan’s face was turned away, as he bit out. “It is indecent. Cover yourself.”
The moment Shen Yuan heard this, he looked down at his form, ears turning completely red. He hurriedly pulled the robe over himself, before whipping out his fan to rapidly fan at his hot face.
He could feel his dignity dying a slow death. How embarrassing was it to appear semi-naked in front of his future killer? This was like the Skinner all over again! At least he wasn’t in his actual form, but it was still mortifying. Whoever heard of a villain suffering this type of indignity?
Once Shen Yuan affirmed that he was decent, He Xuan turned, gaze stopping on the fan in Shen Yuan’s hands. “Where did you get that fan?”
Oh shit. Of course He Xuan would even remember his fan. He Xuan! Couldn’t you drop just a couple of IQ points please? You were giving this old man a heart attack!
Shen Yuan took a step backward, laughing nervously. “This fan… It… Of course I bought it. At a shop.” Shen Yuan raised his fans higher after every word. After mentally cursing his seven generations for He Xuan’s memory, he started to curse at his own bad luck. Why would He Xuan be THAT attentive to even remember a fan which he BARELY used. The fan was literally just tied to his waist most of the time. It was complete madness.
Narrowing his eyes even further, He Xuan gave a completely unimpressed stare at Shen Yuan before sighing and grabbing Shen Yuan’s wrist, dragging him closer towards him. With a quick motion, he lifted Shen Yuan up into his arms.
Shen Yuan officially logged off. 404 error not found flashed through his mind. Shen Yuan was not here, please leave a message. Sir? Excuse me, Sir? Why were you carrying this old man in a princess carry? For what reason? Sir?
Shen Yuan’s heart cried tears of blood, as it waved a handkerchief to the last of his dignity. His fan completely covered his face as he slowly died inside. It was already embarrassing to be carried by a guy, but this position was even more humiliating. What was He Xuan planning? Would his resentment grow if he realized who he was carrying?
As Shen Yuan’s thoughts were rapidly spiraling into doom, He Xuan gazed down at him for a while before shrugging off another layer of his robes to completely cover Shen Yuan.
Head and body now covered, it was pitch black. Shen Yuan couldn’t see anyone, and no one could see his shameless appearance. If no one could see him semi-naked or being carried bridal style, it was a win in his book. Beggars couldn’t be choosers.
Shen Yuan could only lean into He Xuan’s chest as he slowly walked to wherever he planned to bring him. He Xuan’s steps were rhythmic, lulling Shen Yuan into a daze as he quietly stayed in the darkness of He Xuan’s robe.
He started slightly when He Xuan finally set him down, snapping back to attention. Shen Yuan immediately pulled the robe off of his head, blinking rapidly as he looked around. He was in He Xuan’s room once again. He turned as He Xuan pushed a set of robes towards him.
“You may change here. Leave your dirty robes outside once you’re done.”
“. . . .Thanks?” Wanting to get out of the situation quickly, he immediately started to strip his outer robe, but quickly stopped when he heard a loud cough. His head snapped towards He Xuan, eyes nervously raised and cheeks flushed, before frantically looking around for a private area to change. He Xuan coughed again as he turned to stiffly walk out of the room.
The moment He Xuan left Shen Yuan alone, Shen Yuan’s thoughts turned instantly to escape. Who knew what would happen if he continued to stay? His dignity was already in tatters! Shen Yuan looked down at the clutched robe in his hand.
After papapa boyfriend robe.
Screaming internally, he gripped the robe tighter. He was not a real flushed maiden protecting her nonexisting chastity, but he still had to protect his thin face and pride! He could not accept this robe. Additionally, HE was the one who was supposed to be hugging He Xuan’s thighs. How was he hugging He Xuan’s thighs if he kept inconveniencing the other man? He absolutely refused to owe anything to He Xuan. If he accepted this robe now, who could say whether because he did so, He Xuan wouldn’t decide to strip him naked to torture him with hypothermia in the future?
Shen Yuan quickly looked around the room, before grabbing an empty scroll. He decided to leave behind a message, since he at least had to say thank you. He didn’t want perceived ungratefulness to be yet another thing He Xuan came after him for. He groaned. This particular encounter was not only embarrassing but also disappointing because he had done nothing but trouble He Xuan.
Shen Yuan walked to the window and opened it. Just as he was about to escape, he saw a slightly tattered scroll that read: Good luck on the national exam. It looked as if someone had painstakingly flattened it out after it had been crumpled up.
Shen Yuan stared at the scroll. He’d written that message for He Xuan during one of their late-night study sessions. Biting his lip, he finally sighed. Since he’d helped He Xuan study for the exam, he should help a bit more. Once he’d started something, he should at least see it out to the end.
In the original novel, He Xuan had failed multiple times because he didn’t bring any gifts to the examiner. He decided it couldn’t hurt to give He Xuan some advice too. Picking up the scroll again, he tacked his advice onto his original message. Nodding in satisfaction, Shen Yuan picked out his most expensive-looking bracelet, before placing it next to the note.
After leaving the robe he’d borrowed from He Xuan on the desk, Shen Yuan quickly dried himself with a burst of Qi before leaping out the window and immediately booking it. He wasn’t going to stay in the lion’s den. No thank you sir, not today. He was going straight home.
You Slip Through My Hands Like Water.
After waiting outside for a long time, He Xuan felt something was off, and knocked on the door. No one answered. He knocked several times, but there was no reply. Left with no other choice, he hesitatingly opened the door, noting with bitter disappointment that the room was indeed empty. That person had run from him once again, not even taking his robe, instead leaving it neatly folded on the desk with a bracelet and note.
Thank you for your help today. I noticed that based on the scrolls scattered around the room, it seems like you plan to take the national exam soon. I’d like to give you a helpful tip. When you take the exam, you should provide a gift to your examiner. It may seem dishonorable, but in reality, because everyone provides some sort of bribery before the exam, it has become the norm, and is now expected. Again, hard work counts, but these small, seemingly unnecessary things matter as well. Good luck, I’m rooting for you.
He Xuan sighed, running his hand through his hair. “Just who is he?”
The Blood I Spill Is All For You.
Once Shen Yuan returned to Heaven, he returned to his original form before meeting up with his brother.
“Welcome home Ge.” Shi Qingxuan beamed as he grabbed Shen Yuan’s hand. ”How did Ge’s training go?”
Shen Yuan pulled his hand back, giving him a very small smile before smoothing his lips into a firm line.
“Look.” Shen Yuan told Shi Qingxuan. Seeing that his brother was about to put on a performance for him, Shi Qingxuan’s eyes grew bigger and his smile widened.
“ That of infinite shape and form, I command you to come forth.”
Shen Yuan, quickly sketched an array into the air, lifting his palm upwards. Droplets of water slowly left the nearby flower pots, forming into a large bubble that hovered over Shen Yuan’s palm. With a smile, he created a translucent dog, making it run circles around Shi Qingxuan.
Shi Qingxuan squealed in delight, gushing about how cool his Ge was. As he stared at the construct with wide eyes, Shen Yuan pointed at the now empty flower pots, commanding the water to return.
Just as Shi Qingxuan was going to whine to see more, Ling Wen walked into the palace.
“Water Master Wudu, your assistance is needed for a mission.”
Ling Wen was really reminding him of Yue Qingyuan, acting like a mission-giving NPC.
“Ge just came home...” Shi Qingxuan pouted, grumbling in displeasure.
Shen Yuan lightly tapped Shi Qingxuan’s head with his fan in admonishment. Turning to Ling Wen, he responded. “I understand. What is the mission?”
“You and General Pei Ming are to discover why children are going missing near the Yu Jun Mountains. Find the missing children if you can.” Shen Yuan closed his eyes, appearing to be in deep thought but in reality, he was waiting for the stupid system to chime in.
[Mission: Solve the mystery of the missing children. 50 B points ]
Shen Yuan wasn’t even shocked anymore. Oh look. What a surprise. The System didn’t even provide an option where he could choose not to do the mission.
Ling Wen gave Shen Yuan a scroll containing the mission information, before directing him to the meeting location with Pei Ming.
“I must go now, but General Pei Ming will be there soon. Just wait for a bit.” With that, Ling Wen hurried away.
Shi Qingxuan stared pleadingly at Shen Yuan. “Ge, do you really have to go? You just got back!”
Shen Yuan sighed, nodding his head. “Qingxuan, be good and wait carefully for me. I will be back soon.”
Shi Qingxuan frowned, looking as if he was going to retort, before jerkily nodding his head. Knowing that he didn’t have time to appease Shi Qingxuan anymore, Shen Yuan sighed again, before leaving to meet Pei Ming.
When Shen Yuan made it to the meeting place, he was relieved that he was not late. However, that relief soon turned to annoyance as he waited longer and longer for the absent general. Feeling bored, he walked to the edge of Heaven, hoping to get a sneak peek of Xie Lian and Hua Cheng in all their protagonist and main lead glory.
Xie Lian was currently busy completing wishes for those in the capital of Xianle. He still seemed unaware of the situation further out in his country. Hua Cheng was still a weak child, but his eyes were already full of adoration for Xie Lian. Shen Yuan smiled wistfully. Hua Cheng was so young, yet already in love. Such a cute bun.
He watched as Hua Cheng cleaned a small Xie Lian statue he’d found on the side of the street. Despite its crude make, he showed a tremendous amount of care and love for it, bringing it fresh flowers and praying in front of it everyday.
Shen Yuan wished that he had some popcorn to eat as he watched the scene unfold. Watching Heaven’s Official Blessing’s romance unfold in real life was truly lucky. Honestly, based off how sweet they were in the original novel, he was shocked that there was no one like Liu Su Mian Hua making erotic novels out of them. Then again, unlike stupid Airplane bro’s badly written novel, there probably wasn’t a rotten character who would do such a shameless thing.
The sound of footsteps snapped Shen Yuan out of his real-life theater experience. He looked in their direction, and saw a man approaching him that had to be Pei Ming. The general seemed to be in his twenties, and like Binghe, he was ridiculously handsome. Handsome enough that just standing next to him, Shen Yuan felt like an ugly potato. He looked extremely gallant, striding towards him in dark armor and robes, hair tied up into a long ponytail.
The Pei Ming in the novel had at least one thousand affairs, leading to countless love stories being written about him. Based on his looks alone, Shen Yuan could definitely see the reason why. In a moment of pettiness, he wished that he also had multiple love stories written about his own escapades. The Resentment of Chunshan did NOT count.
Pei Ming slowly looked over Shen Yuan before greeting him. “This one is General Pei Ming. A pleasure to meet you.”
“Hmm. This one is the Water Master Shi Wudu. “ Shen Yuan snapped his fan open, peering at Pei Ming over the edge of his fan.
“A pleasure to meet you Water Master. Shall we go?”
“Hn.”
Together, they walked towards the transportation array to begin their mission.
Rumors Brings Pain Like No Other.
They landed near an extremely dirty and poor village. It was no wonder that only the gods were there to respond to a prayer. It would probably have never gotten reported to human leaders until it became a big enough issue, or a rich family’s heir was kidnapped.
Their attention was immediately drawn to the nearby forest. Resentful energy emanated from the dark woods. Giving each other a quick nod, Pei Ming and Shen Yuan walked into the cursed forest. The forest was absolutely filled with a disgusting aura, making the air heavy and suffocating. Despite the fact that it was almost summer, the trees were bare of leaves, clearly on the brink of death.
A child’s terrified sobs echoed from further inside the forest. They quickened their pace, following the sound deeper into the forest. The deeper they went, the denser the miasma surrounding them became, until they could barely see in front of them.
“General Pei?” Shen Yuan called, reaching out Pei Ming. However his hands met nothing but empty air. When the fog thinned, Shen Yuan realized that he was completely alone. His heart dropped as he heard the child’s sobs turn into chilling shrieks and cries of pain.
“STOP!” Shen Yuan sprinted towards the cries, directing spiritual power to his legs to increase his speed. Just as spiritual power flowed to his thighs, he felt his leg explode with agony. He staggered, holding onto a tree for balance as he grabbed his leg in shock. He hissed with pain as his hand came away wet with blood. Looking down, he saw that his entire thigh was covered in lacerations—as if sliced by a sword.
Instinctively, Shen Yuan poured more spiritual power to his leg to try to heal himself, only to be met with excruciating pain as the wounds on his leg ripped further apart. He gasped for breath, realizing that he must have been poisoned by the miasma in the forest. It must have caused his body to not recognize his own spiritual power, meaning he’d rip himself apart if he tried to channel it.
Pushing off of the tree he’d been leaning against, he forced himself to walk on, feeling as if someone had tried to cut off his leg but had given up part way. Every step brought tears to his eyes but he refused to let them fall as he walked on. He couldn’t stop. Not when the cries of a child echoed through the forest. He pushed himself forward, teeth clenched, leaving a trail of blood with every struggling step. Staggering forward, he noticed that there was a trace of blood on the ground in front of him.
Despite all of the suffering he’d felt, he felt his hope rise. He was close. The blood looked fresh, so he was definitely close to the child. With renewed motivation, he pushed himself harder, trying to ignore the pain and move faster. He had to get there faster.
Pushing himself to run, he thought to himself if he was fast enough, he just might save the child. However, Shen Yuan felt his hope and motivation sink when he realized, as he saw a tree with a familiar bloody handprint, that the trail of blood he’d been following was his own.
Shen Yuan gritted his teeth. He had to find the child. He could still hear it crying. As long as he could hear it, it was still alive. He lurched forward, trying to follow the sounds. The child's cries lasted for a few hours before the forest became completely silent. His heart sank. He was too late. The child was dead.
[Would Host like to purchase easy mode for 200 B Points?]
“ If there was an easy mode, why didn’t you tell me earlier you shitty System?!”
[System is telling Host now.]
“ Okay, buy buy buy!”
Distracted with the System, Shen Yuan didn’t notice anything was amiss until he felt something grab his leg, forcing its way into his cuts. He looked down at his battered legs and saw a red rope looping around his left ankle while a couple more ropes looped completely around his legs, putting pressure on some of his open wounds. Shen Yuan bit down hard on his lower lip to prevent himself from crying out loud in pain.
Shen Yuan pulled out his fan to try and ward off the ropes, but because he was unable to transfer spiritual energy to his fan, he was simply beating at the ropes with a normal fan. Next time, he thought furiously to himself, he was going to bring an actual sword, and not a fan that required spiritual energy to transform into a sword. Shen Yuan felt beyond pathetic. Not only was he losing to a rope, he was losing a fight BADLY to a rope.
The ropes wound firmly around Shen Yuan’s legs, before dragging him unceremoniously across the forest floor. He groaned as he was dragged along, wincing as the top of his robes got caught by a sharp branch and ripped from the waist up, leaving Shen Yuan unprotected as the sharp rocks on the ground dug and cut into his soft skin. He tried to curl up in defense, bare arms attempting to cover his face as he was lifted upside down, before being whipped against the trees.
How was this easy mode?! Since when was getting tossed around like a ragdoll considered easy according to any meaning of the word? Easy mode was a scam!
Shen Yuan’s wounded arms slowly dropped as he lost consciousness, vision blacking out.
When he regained consciousness, he immediately noticed with embarrassed horror that his arms and legs were not only completely tied up, but were spread out like the cover of a cheap porno. One leg was tied higher than the other, while his arms were stretched to the point of pain above his head. Honestly, what he’d really like to figure out would be why he was always the only one who ended up partially naked and tied up in questionable positions. Inquiring minds would like to know.
As Shen Yuan resigned himself to the indignity of the position, he startled as he heard another child sobbing deeper in the forest. His mouth set in a hard line. His fear was confirmed. The original screaming child was definitely dead.
He began pulling at the ropes, trying to wriggle his hands out of their grip. However, the ropes refused to budge no matter how hard he struggled against them. The more Shen Yuan fought against their hold, the tighter the ropes got. Admitting defeat, he stopped moving and began to wait for Pei Ming to hopefully find him. He tried to comfort himself. An older god should have more experience. He was a newer god who had just mastered his own abilities, and was still learning the ropes. Therefore, there was no shame in waiting for help.
Unfortunately, his musings were cut short as he heard another child’s sobs suddenly turn into screams of terror. Shen Yuan could do nothing but close his eyes in despair when the screams died out. It continued in this pattern, and the cries of every single child was burned into Shen Yuan’s mind.
He waited and waited, his blood dripping out of him as if to mark the passage of time like some sort of macabre hourglass. The latest child’s screams had ended, and a pool of blood had formed beneath him. He shifted, causing the ropes to dig further into his flesh, widening his wounds. Blood oozed down his body and Shen Yuan swallowed, as he realized he might be in a little bit of trouble if he continued bleeding out all alone in the forest.
Shen Yuan discovered he was very much not alone anymore when something extremely slimy and wet rubbed against his cheek. His breathing stopped as the appendage started moving up and down the right side of his face before sliding downwards towards his neck and his chest. The owner of the tongue walked in front of Shen Yuan. It looked like a demonic spider, with six eyes and a furry body. Unlike a spider, it had a large mouth, with an extremely long tongue topped with sharp teeth lolling out of it.
He flinched as the creature’s tongue dragged along his neck. The moment the tongue reached a cut, it would wriggle deeper, lapping up Shen Yuan’s blood. The demon would grope and squeeze the area around the cut, greedily trying to capture more blood before moving on to another area.
Shen Yuan bit his lip, as he breathed harshly, trying not to make a sound as it moved towards his erogenous zones. He squirmed as its tongue ran down his neck, along his collarbone and the side of his chest before looping around and licking behind his ears. Shen Yuan clenched his eyes and hands tightly shut in the losing battle of trying to control his body’s reactions.
“Hnnngh.”
The tongue moved down once more, licking at the wounds on the chest, causing them to sting. Shen Yuan began furiously tugging against the rope, straining his muscles in a futile attempt to move his legs away. It did nothing but bring a burst of pain as the rope tightened enough that his ankles and wrists started to bleed. His entire body trembled like a trapped butterfly on a spider’s web and slight tears of frustration and pain gathered at the corners of his eyes. Shen Yuan’s eyes widened when he felt something grip his thighs, lifting them higher while ripping his pants to expose his white thighs streaked with cuts and blood.
Shen Yuan started screaming his lungs out. “PEI MING! YOU CALL YOURSELF A GENERAL? QUICKLY COME AND HELP ME!” His panic increased as the beast’s tongue descended down his chest, moving lower and lower.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
Shen Yuan shut his eyes tight again, multiple prayers running through his mind when suddenly, the pressure on top of him disappeared.
Opening his eyes, his heart burst with relief as he saw that Pei Ming had grabbed the beast, dragging it off of his body. Once he’d gotten the creature clear from Shen Yuan, he immediately crushed the head with his bare hands. Both of them were shocked when, instead of blood and flesh spattering from the body, machinery flew out. The beast was actually a puppet, which meant that the true culprit was unknown and roaming about.
Questions flew through Shen Yuan’s mind. There was no blood, so where did the blood that it got from him go? Was this creature connected to the missing children? If so, what was the purpose of kidnapping, torturing, and killing? If not, which was responsible for the miasma that prevented him from using spiritual energy?
“I am going to untie you right now. Don’t move.” Pei Ming’s soothing voice pulled Shen Yuan out of his confused thoughts. The older god moved in front of Shen Yuan, reaching over him in an attempt to untie his bonds.
When Pei Ming started to reach for his thighs to move them further apart in order to get a closer look at his tied wrist, Shen Yuan bit his lower lip to keep from making any noise.
As if prompted by some god of misfortunate timing, the moment Pei Ming moved in between his thighs and lifted him up, a group of passing travelers stumbled upon them. They were in the perfect position to see an extremely scandalous scene, straight from a yellow book. Shen Yuan was barely covered up, tightly bound with his legs spread and back slightly arched as a large man loomed over him, hands grasping his thighs as if to devour him. Coupled with his teary eyes and tightly bitten lip, it painted the picture of an extremely bullied fairy.
“Consent is sexy!”
“Rapist!”
“WTF are you guys doing in broad daylight?”
“PERVERT!!!!”
Shen Yuan’s brain ground to a halt. Why were there travelers suddenly passing by? In a cursed forest??? As he looked around, he realized that the scenery around them had completely changed. The dead trees, somehow, were fully bloomed, the sounds of the children as well as the miasma were completely gone.
No matter how Pei Ming tried to explain, the travelers refused to listen, pushing him away from Shen Yuan as they scolded him for what seemed like hours. Shen Yuan wanted to help Pei Ming, but he passed out the moment he was freed.
Right before he fainted, he made eye contact with a woman that had an unnervingly excited look on her face. At this point, Shen Yuan could only beg that something like the Resentment Of Chunshan didn’t happen. Lady! This world already has a sickly cute romantic couple that could totally be the star of whatever porno you want! Unfortunately, it seemed that lady had the same look in her eyes as his younger sister who enjoyed those types of rotten novels. He could only hope and pray that the star of whatever story that perverted imagination wrote wouldn’t be him.
Shen Yuan’s last conscious thought was. Fuck Liu Su Mian Hua.
[System thinks it is so amazing that Host still couldn't solve the mission. Host must find more information to continue.]
Hearing the System’s sarcasm as soon as he woke up was the surest way for Shen Yuan’s mood to plummet. Besides, he had an axe to grind with the System! Why was the so-called easy mode not easy at all? He would likely have died if he hadn’t been a god with fast healing abilities.
Deciding to ignore the system, he looked around the unfamiliar surroundings. It looked like he was in an inn of some sort, with Pei Ming nowhere in sight. Heaving himself out of bed, he decided to go search for Pei Ming. Before he’d taken one step further, Pei Ming walked in, carrying a bowl of soup.
He looked at Shen Yuan with concern. “I’m surprised you’re awake. You were pretty beaten up last night.”
Shen Yuan nodded, “I heal fast. What happened after I passed out?”
Pei Ming’s eye twitched. “I carried you out of the forest and rented a room for us.”
Shen Yuan, deciding to follow Pei Ming’s lead and pretend the embarrassing scene with travelers didn’t happen, decided instead to ask about something he’d noticed the previous day. “Do you know what happened with that forest?”
“You thought that it was strange as well right? I returned to check, but found nothing except for maybe sixteen corpses based on the amount of dried out hearts on the ground. The bodies were so badly mauled, you could barely consider them corpses much less realize they were human if you didn’t already know.”
Shen Yuan’s eyes hardened. “I want to check on it.”
“I wouldn’t advise--”
Shen Yuan cut in. “Two sets of eyes are better than one. You might have missed something the first time you searched. Having a second look would be good.”
With Shen Yuan’s insistence, Pei Ming could only sigh and agree.
They walked side by side in the direction of the cursed forest. Before they walked into the forest, Shen Yuan tied a rope between him and Pei Ming to prevent them from getting separated.
The forest looked completely normal, with no trace of arrays or demonic energy. The only thing left behind were the remains of the childrens’ bodies in the middle of the seemingly peaceful forest. The bodies were dried up, torn into pieces, and strung up on the trees. If it weren’t for the organs on the ground, Shen Yuan would honestly be unable to identify what they were.
Gagging, Shen Yuan covered his mouth, before running to a nearby tree to vomit. Pei Ming sighed, coming beside him to rub his back.
“I told you not to come. We’ve reached a dead-end in this case. We’ll need more information and help to solve this.”
Admitting temporary defeat, Shen Yuan and Pei Ming returned to Heaven.
When Pei Ming and Shen Yuan arrived in heaven, Shen Yuan immediately dragged Pei Ming to Jing Wen's palace to get Ling Wen’s help. Her knowledge would definitely be needed in order to figure out what was going on.
“Jing Wen Zhen Jun, I am the Water Master, Shi Wudu. I was wondering if I could borrow Ling Wen for a mission.” Shen Yuan cupped his hands together in a show of respect.
To be honest, Jing Wen, in Shen Yuan’s opinion, didn’t deserve even an ounce of respect because of the way he treated Ling Wen, but he’d play along for right now.
Jing Wen looked at Ling Wen who had her head bowed, rolling his eyes. He might currently be the top Civil God, but he was also a nasty god, making Ling Wen work to exhaustion, forcing her to go on long errands all day, all the while refusing to promote her.
When Jing Wen still looked a bit hesitant, Shen Yuan sidled up to Jing Wen, slipping him all the remaining merits he had. With an awkward smirk, Shen Yuan murmured to him, “I have some special needs for her. I would be extremely grateful if you would allow me to borrow her for a bit.”
Jing Wen, with a perverted leer, grabbed Shen Yuan’s waist just as he was about to move away. “Maybe you and I should have dinner sometime. I’m sure we’d have a lot in common to talk about.”
Shen Yuan felt his skin crawl the moment he felt Jing Wen’s hand. He had to strongly suppress the violent desire to smack his fan against the man’s dirty hand, because he was trying to ask for a favor. Shen Yuan tried to back away to avoid any more unnecessary contact, but Jing Wen’s hand continued to grasp at him. Shen Yuan pointedly stared at Pei Ming, trying to signal him with his eyes.
Pei Ming immediately walked closer, flashing a smile with a little too many teeth at Jing Wen. He firmly grasped Jing Wen’s shoulder, saying in an amiable voice, “You wouldn’t mind, would you?”
Unlike Shen Yuan who was a new and somewhat unknown god, and Ling Wen, who was Jing Wen’s deputy, Pei Ming was a well-established and powerful martial god. He was the second strongest martial god just underneath the heavenly emperor, and was therefore someone that even Jing Wen had to show respect to.
“Of course you can use her. Make sure to return her nice and clean.” Jing Wen simpered.
Pei Ming’s face turned thunderous. Even though Pei Ming had thousands of affairs, he never acted in a dishonorable manner towards anyone. Seeing Pei Ming’s clenched fist, Shen Yuan grabbed his hand, lightly squeezing it in his. It was best to avoid trouble, and they had already gotten what they needed. Pei Ming’s shoulders relaxed as he nodded, pulling Shen Yuan away from Jing Wen’s hold.
“Ling Wen, we would greatly appreciate it if you would come with us to help us solve the case of the missing children.” Shen Yuan gave her a small bow.
Ling Wen answered with a simple, “Okay.” Getting her cooperation, the soon-to-be-named three tumors left Heaven once more.
Standing in front of the forest, Pei Ming took out a heavenly artifact, breaking it into three pieces, giving one to each member. As he did so, the pieces transformed into tassels. “Tie the tassels to something you own. It will allow the other two to know your location if you go missing. The first time Water Master Wudu and I entered the forest, we were unknowingly separated.”
Shen Yuan tied the tassel to his fan, while Ling Wen tied it to the end of her brush.
“If you see miasma, do not use your spiritual energy. The miasma will poison you and prevent you from using your spiritual energy,” Shen Yuan warned the two, feeling his legs, as he remembered the pain he’d experienced.
The other two indicated they understood as they all walked into the forest, searching once more for clues.
Whoever was behind this scheme was quite devious. As Shen Yuan walked around, he thought over all of the information he’d gathered so far. Unfortunately, there was no connection between any of it. Additionally, there were strange inconsistencies between what he’d experienced and what they were seeing now. For example, there should be lines remaining on the tree’s surfaces from the ropes that had constricted him, but their trunks were smooth. He was sure that he’d struggled against the ropes hard enough to have left some sort of trace.
“ System, I need help. Give me something. ”
[Don’t be stupid and only take things for face value. If there isn’t a clue at eye level, then look elsewhere.]
Shen Yuan looked up at the sky. It looked clear and sunny, just like the day before.
. ..So how was it possible that there was fog that day?
Shen Yuan bent down and touched the ground. It was as dry as the Sahara desert.
If the ground was this dry, how were the trees able to bloom this beautifully?
Looking at the trees with a considering frown, he pushed spiritual power into his fan, transforming it into a sword as he slashed at a tree.
*swish, BANG*
The moment the tree fell, the previously healthy-looking tree was suddenly empty of leaves, covered with peeling bark, cracks, and splits. The beautiful forest they were in was an illusion.
“We found an array!” Ling Wen shouted.
Shen Yuan stopped investigating the fallen tree and ran towards Ling Wen and Pei Ming.
On the ground, an array was just barely visible. Looking closer, Ling Wen was able to quickly see that there wasn’t just one array, but two. A concealment array and transportation array.
Ling Wen quickly looked to Pei Ming and Shen Yuan for confirmation before injecting spiritual power to break the concealment array. Before Shen Yuan and Pei Ming stepped forward to go through the transportation array, Pei Ming gave his password for the Spiritual Communication Array, so they could all keep in touch.
Ling Wen took a step back as Shen Yuan and Pei Ming touched the transportation array. She might not be adept at fighting, but she was fully prepared to support the two remotely with her knowledge and research skills. She would also remain behind as backup in case something went wrong.
Shen Yuan took a deep breath as Pei Ming gave him a reassuring look. Placing his hand on top of Pei Ming’s, they sent their spiritual energy into the array, allowing it to transport them.
As they stepped out of the array, they were greeted with the sight of a dark dungeon. Shen Yuan shivered a bit as cold air flowed through the passageway.
Shen Yuan and Pei Ming used their spiritual energy to create a small flame on the palm of their hand, illuminating the dark area. Using the light, they ventured further into the dungeon. They walked for a long time, hearing only the sound of their breathing and water dripping from the damp ceiling.
The silence, darkness, and damp chill of the dungeon caused Shen Yuan’s mind to fill with painful memories as he remembered the time he was trapped in Huan Hua’s Water Prison, as well as the System’s Punishment Protocols where he was forced to experience Shi Wudu getting his arm and head ripped off.
Shen Yuan took several deep breaths, calming himself as they continued on.
Pei Ming glanced over at Shen Yuan, sensing something might be off. When he saw Shen Yuan was shivering, he frowned slightly, before taking off his cloak and wrapping it tightly around Shen Yuan’s body.
“Are you okay? You’re shivering.” Pei Ming looked concernedly into his eyes, firmly grabbing Shen Yuan’s shoulders to steady him.
“....Yes?” Shen Yuan’s eyes darted back and forth between his hands and the ground. He pushed away Pei Ming’s hands and forced his panic down. He had been Shen Yuan. He had been Shen Qingqiu. He was now Shi Wudu. He was nothing but adaptable. He would always adapt.
I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid.
Shen Yuan kept chanting in his mind as he moved forward. Pei Ming frown deepened, but held his tongue, deciding to keep a close eye on him as they continued onward.
Suddenly, the ground started to fall away beneath their feet. They jumped and managed to grab onto an empty chandelier hanging from the ceiling. However, the chandelier could only hold so much weight, and it soon started to creak in protest, loosening dangerously from the ceiling. Seeing that it wouldn’t hold, Shen Yuan instantly let go, allowing himself to fall.
However, his fall was immediately halted by Pei Ming’s strong grasp around his wrist.
“Pei Ming, if this continues both of us are going to fall.” Shen Yuan explained, trying to wriggle his hand out of Pei Ming’s grip.
Pei Ming looked at him with disbelief, “So it’s better that you fall by yourself? We are supposed to stick together. If we get separated, then it would be worse.”
“Pei Ming!” Shen Yuan’s eyes widened as he watched the chain they’d been dangling from, snap from the ceiling as it gave in to the weight.
Shen Yuan immediately started to brace for impact, closing his eyes, when he felt Pei Ming’s arms wrap around him. Pei Ming cradled Shen Yuan’s head to his chest, hand curled protectively around it, as his other arm firmly held Shen Yuan’s waist.
They hit the ground like a sack of potatoes, but quickly realized that they were now sliding down a steep and slippery ramp. Peering into the gloom, they tried to see what they were sliding towards. Light reflected off of metal, and they stared into what Shen Yuan could only describe as a really large meat grinder. He swore violently at the System for giving him such a shitty mission. Thinking furiously, he quickly looked around him as they slid towards the grinder. In these kinds of situations, there were always hidden levers or passageways. He just had to… His eyes widened in excitement as he saw a patch of wall that looked suspiciously less grimey.
He immediately cried out, pointing at it. “Pei Ming! Do you see that wall sconce? Can you get us to that part of the wall?”
*Boom*
Without hesitation, Pei Ming kicked his foot against the ramp to jump up and grab at a rather conveniently placed chain dangling from the ceiling. Using the momentum from the jump, he flipped them towards the wall, grabbing onto the wall sconce with one arm, while holding Shen Yuan with the other.
Shen Yuan swore once again at the System for the mission, but turned his attention to instead studying the wall in front of him. He scanned the wall swiftly, already hearing the metal they were holding onto groan in protest from the weight.
Just a little more time… Which one was it? It had to be…
He grinned in triumph as he spotted what he’d been searching for. Shen Yuan smashed his hand into the brick, feeling it give way with a click. The wall opened just in time, the sconce giving way, as they tumbled into the new area hidden behind the wall.
Breathing heavily, they slowly disentangled themselves from each other, gingerly standing up. They were in yet another passageway. Once again using their palm torches to light the way, they continued. This time, they’d only walked for a few minutes before they heard the sound of crying children. Running down the hall, they turned a corner, eyes widening in horror as they saw a room filled with hundreds of shaking and crying children.
Pei Ming’s lips tightened as he immediately walked to the cages to begin opening them. Shen Yuan began preparations to transport the children, cutting the palms of his hands to draw a Distance Shortening Array. While extremely draining, it would be necessary.
Once he’d finished drawing the array, he quickly healed himself, before making his way to the children to help guide them to the array. He patted their heads, ushering them to the array with a soothing voice.
“It’s okay. Everything is okay. We are here to protect you. Nothing will hurt you anymore.”
“There are still others.” A girl grabbed Shen Yuan’s sleeve as fat tears dropped to the ground. Shen Yuan knelt and cupped her face as he used his thumbs to wipe away her tears. Not minding the dirt and grime on her body, he hugged her saying, “Don’t cry. I will find and save them.”
“Thank you pretty gege.” Trusting Shen Yuan’s words, the girls loosened her hold and turned to walk into the array.
“ Ling Wen, we found the children. I am sending a hundred children your way.”
“A hundred? Alright.”
Once all of the children were in the array, Shen Yuan flashed a gentle smile, “It might feel weird for a moment, but I promise you that you are going somewhere safe.”
When the children nodded in understanding, Shen Yuan injected his spiritual energy into the array. In a second, the children were gone.
“Water Master--”
“You can call me Shui-xiong, after all being in such a situation, let's not be strangers.” Shen Yuan actually wouldn’t mind if Pei Ming called him Shi Wudu, but in the novel, Pei Ming called Shi Wudu, Shui-xiong so he decided that it was something that he should follow.
“Okay Shui-xiong, you can call me Pei-xiong.” Pei Ming flashed a cocky smile at Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan smiled back. “What did you find?”
Pei Ming’s eyes darkened. “Follow me.”
Pei Ming bent down and touched the ground, feeling it for a moment before pushing a hidden button. The wall opened onto another pathway They entered it, Pei Ming leading while Shen Yuan guarded their back. Faintly, they heard the familiar sounds of children crying, but now there was another sound. The sound of a flute.
They raced down the hall, reaching a large wooden door. Shen Yuan nodded at Pei Ming, and Pei Ming struck the door, splintering it into pieces. Bursting into the room, they saw a room filled with small bones—much too small bones.
Children’s bones.
Two young children were fighting each other viciously, smiling widely as they beat each other. A female demon watched them, playing her flute with a malicious smile. It was immediately clear that she was using the flute to control the children. Even though they were smiling, tears streamed from their eyes as they grappled and swung their limbs. The room was eerily lit by sparks of ghost fire floating over the bones on the floor.
Shen Yuan erupted in fury. Unforgivable. She was unforgivable. There was no mercy for a child abuser and kidnapper. The demon had barely started turning her head in direction, before Shen Yuan attacked mercilessly. He drew water from the air, creating thousands upon thousands of arrows, unleashing them upon her. Even after the first arrows hit her, he kept drawing hand arrays, sending out water arrows until he completely exhausted his spiritual energy. The sheer force Shen Yuan had unleashed on her had obliterated the demon, not a single trace was left of her in the world.
Letting out a shuddering breath, he finally let his hands drop. While they’d figured out what had happened with the missing children, questions still remained about who was behind the mechanical beast that had stolen his blood in the forest, as well as the poisonous miasma. At least they’d manage to save most of the children. Pei Ming softly walked to Shen Yuan’s side, having stepped back as he watched Shen Yuan destroy the demon.
Glancing at Pei Ming, Shen Yuan instead turned towards the small balls of ghost fire and the two young children that had collapsed onto the floor. Shen Yuan desperately forced his tears back as he softly patted each and every one of them, apologizing that he had gotten there too late. The ghosts circled around him, some bumping into his hands for more pats. He performed a small service for them to be able to leave and reincarnate.
“Go on. You can go reincarnate.” He murmured, urging them to leave. With the help of a gentle push, the spirits sparkled and rose higher. Slowly, only Pei Ming, Shen Yuan, and the two living children were left in the room. Shen Yuan bent to pick up the children, carrying them out of the room, as Pei Ming drew a short distancing array to return to Ling Wen.
[Mission Completed. +50 B points]
Notes:
I am actually still debating about posting this chapter because I wasn't sure if it was too upsetting.
The idea of the ghost children and the mystery behind the blood would later on become important as the story continues. However, if you have any issues with this chapter in particular in any shape or form, please let me know in a nice way.
Again after Shen Yuan solves the issue with the Venerable of Empty Words, the story would go on a lighter note. (In about 3 chapters, not including this one)
Thank you for reading my story and despite it being more a tragic one, I help you liked it so far.
Chapter 6: I Will Try And Fail To Hold On
Notes:
Warning: Mention of someone's death, sexist behavior, slut-shaming, and The Venerable of Empty Words (he should be a warning himself to be honest)
HAPPY FIRST DAY OF NOVEMBER. One month closer to the end of this chaotic year. Good luck and many well wishes.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan, Pei Ming, and Ling Wen spent days reuniting the missing children with their families. After the mission ended, Ling Wen was forced to go back to the scum Jing Wen, leaving Pei Ming and him to clean up the mission. Unfortunately, not all of the children had families or homes to return to. For the children who were orphaned and homeless, Shen Yuan generously used Pei Ming’s money to build a temple for them to live in. Since Pei Ming was the richest and most established out of the three of them, he could of course afford to foot the bill.
The children living in the temple were expected to attend lessons when Shen Yuan dropped by to teach them, as well as clean and manage the temple. In essence, it was modeled off of his own Qing Jing Peak, and in a burst of nostalgia as he saw the children boisterously running around him, he decided to name the temple after his old peak.
Shen Yuan was basically training his little street ducklings to become monks who would spread the words of the soon to be number one Elemental God, Civil God, and second strongest Martial God. Shen Yuan wasn’t the one to toot his own horn, but this trio was destined to be amazing according to the novel before He Xuan appeared. No matter how badly the three tumors were regarded, no one could deny that they were a very powerful and competent group. They were the top gods in their areas as long as you discounted Jun Wu.
[Stop wasting so much time and money on street kids. Shi Wudu is supposed to be the god of wealth. Host is currently too poor.]
“ It isn’t MY money, it’s Pei Ming’s. Besides, these kids deserve to be safe after experiencing such trauma.”
[No one deserves anything.]
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at the System’s comments, continuing to ensure the temple had everything it needed. He couldn’t help but feel a little fond over the kids. They kind of reminded him of Shen Jiu and Yue Qingyuan. Shen Yuan was in the middle of his checklist, when the youngest monk of the newly formed temple, Ning ran up to him and asked, “Where did the pretty lady go? The one in black?”
The moment Ling Wen was brought up, Shen Yuan’s mood dropped. While he knew that it was still too soon to help Ling Wen rise to power and overthrow Jing Wen, that didn’t mean that he had to like it or liked talking about matters related to it.
Shen Yuan frowned as he answered tersely, “She had other work,” clearly signaling that he didn’t want to talk any further. Seeing that he was displeased, Ning knew to drop the subject rather than continue to press him.
All of the children knew that if Shen Yuan was displeased, or didn’t want to talk about something, the only person who could get him to open up would be Pei Ming. Privately, they thought it was only because the General’s face was very thick and that he was too nosey, refusing to give up until Shen Yuan finally talked. Regardless, the only one who could get Shen Yuan to lighten up was Pei Ming. Being the smart girl that she was, Ning always brought Pei Ming over whenever Shen Yuan was even somewhat upset.
Letting himself be tugged along by Ning, Pei Ming was brought to Shen Yuan. Upon seeing Shen Yuan’s furrowed brow, he strode over and grabbed his wrist. He grinned at Shen Yuan, “Shui-xiong! What kind of friends are we that we’ve never even gone drinking together? Let’s go and you can tell all your troubles to your reliable Pei-xiong. I’ll be sure to comfort you in your times of trouble,” he slung his arm around Shen Yuan’s shoulders as he said this, winking roguishly.
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at Pei Ming’s theatrics. He knew that Pei Ming likely felt the same as he did about Ling Wen’s situation. Both of them disliked Jing Wen, and wanted Ling Wen to rise to power. However, they also knew it just wasn’t the time to make a move. Additionally, Pei Ming also tried to avoid trouble—Shen Yuan amended his thought with a rueful grin. The man was perfectly fine with starting trouble if it was related to his dick.
Pei Ming steered Shen Yuan towards one of his favorite drinking establishments, nodding as the proprietress of the establishment greeted and guided them to a private room swathed with delicate silks and filled with luxurious decorations. Sitting at the table, they made themselves comfortable as waitresses quickly brought refreshments and wine, Pei Ming immediately pouring wine for both of them. Shen Yuan thanked the man, gracefully lifting his cup, as he sniffed lightly at the drink’s refreshing scent.
“Is this osmanthus wine?” Shen Yuan peered up at Pei Ming from under his lashes, unconsciously giving a small gentle smile as he waited for an answer.
“...It is.” Pei Ming turned his head and coughed as Shen Yuan looked back down at the light golden liquid in his cup. If Shen Yuan had looked up, he would have seen that Pei Ming’s cheeks were lightly dusted in pink.
Shen Yuan really didn’t know why he’d never thought to use alcohol as a stress reliever. In fact, he realized with slight shock, he hadn’t had a drink since his previous life as Shen Qingqiu. He had plenty of fond memories of drinking with his fellow peak lords, and it was commonly known that alcohol was capable of relieving certain tensions. It might be able to help him relax and take his mind temporarily off of his worries. Shrugging internally, he decided it was definitely worth a shot.
*First sip*
Shen Yuan’s cheeks flushed as his shoulders relaxed. His body started to feel warm and loose.
*Second sip*
Shen Yuan began to laugh and smile freely. His mind was refreshingly empty.
*Third sip*
Shen Yuan got absolutely, rip-roaringly drunk.
If I Only Had One Happy Moment, It Would Be This.
Shen Yuan blearily opened his eyes. He blinked slowly. The last thing he remembered… He grabbed his head as he felt an incoming headache. Ugh. This was the reason why he didn’t usually drink. But also, what was this scam? How could it be that the original Shi Wudu was so weak to alcohol he couldn’t take more than three sips of wine? If Shen Yuan’s memories were to be trusted, Shi Qingxuan was famous for his love for wine. How could the elder brother be so terrible with it? Did baby Shi Wudu give all of his alcohol tolerance to his brother because he knew his brother would love wine so much?
Shen Yuan used his spiritual energy to will away the pain, letting out a soft sigh of relief as it abated.
It was only after he’d soothed his headache that Shen Yuan realized with a start that he wasn’t in his bed or even his palace. The amount of gold decorations wasn’t something that he personally liked, though the way it was placed still kept it tasteful. However, the bed. Oh, the bed. Both it and the pillow he was currently snuggled into were so soft. He sighed, stretching cat-like on its soft surface as he nuzzled the pillow. They were perfect, and Shen Yuan would totally be willing to sell his life to have them.
Shen Yuan was in the middle of planning out just how he was going to steal the entire bed and pillow when he suddenly felt a very strong arm pull him closer to an extremely warm and hard body.
He froze, slowly looking down. It was an extremely muscular arm. That seemed to be attached to an extremely well built body. He chanced a glance behind him. Pei Ming’s body to be exact. He was in Pei Ming’s bed.
Feeling relieved that he hadn’t ended up in some stranger’s bed, but feeling inexplicably embarrassed that he was now essentially being spooned by Pei Ming, he decided escape was the best option. He carefully tried to get out of Pei Ming’s hold, not wanting to wake him, gently prying Pei Ming’s hand from around his waist as he wiggled a bit to get out from the hold. He tensed when he heard Pei Ming inhale suddenly, but relaxed and continued his escape attempt when it seemed the man was still sleeping.
Successfully escaping the surprisingly clingy grasp, he rolled off the bed, deciding to snoop around the room. Judging by all the personal items that were scattered around, as well as the clothes and armor hanging in the open wardrobe, it appeared to be Pei Ming’s personal room. Realizing with a start that he was only in his inner robes, he looked around, sighing in relief when he saw his robes neatly folded on the couch.
He began to dress himself, just finishing when he heard a light knock on the door. Pei Ming appeared to still be peacefully sleeping, so Shen Yuan opened the door.
The servant waiting outside appeared shocked to see him, gaping at him without a word.
Trying to fill the awkward silence, Shen Yuan decided to speak first, “Pei-xiong is currently sleeping. If you want, I can pass a message to him.”
“Are you and the General officially cultivation partners?” Completely ignoring Shen Yuan’s words, the servant seemed to have moved past his shock, and was now staring at him with sparkling eyes.
What.
The question completely blindsided Shen Yuan. While true that usually, when two people stayed in a room together overnight after drinking heavily, some MAY assume that the two were lovers. HOWEVER, Pei Ming was a known player with countless affairs. Also, Pei Ming notoriously loved mortal women! He wasn’t into guys! Yet why was the servant giving him looks of admiration, immediately thinking that they not only had slept together, but were officially in a relationship?
Sensing Shen Yuan’s confusion and taking pity on him, the servant hastily said,” It’s just that the General never brought someone to his personal room before so I assumed-- “
“No, no, no. Pei-xiong and I aren’t like that. We’re just bros, um just friends.” Shen Yuan attempted to clear the misunderstanding, eyes darting to the side, as he hid behind his fan. He was clearly unsuccessful, as the servant gave him a look that clearly said, ‘Just friends? Who are you lying to?’
Shen Yuan gave a delicate cough, “Listen, listen. I drank too much yesterday, and was too drunk to get back to my palace. Pei-xiong was just nice enough to take care of me.” In the corner of his eyes, he saw the blanket shaking with laughter. He gnashed his teeth. Dang it Pei Ming. If you’re awake at least come and explain! He was just as much of a scum friend as Shang Qinghua. Shen Yuan really needed better friends.
“Ohh, so it’s like that? Master...?”
“Water Master, Shi Wudu.”
“The Water Master... Got drunk...?” The servant raised one of his eyebrows as he questioned Shen Yuan.
It was pathetic but true. He really had gotten embarrassingly drunk.
Thankfully, Shen Yuan was saved from saying more when Pei Ming appeared behind him, resting his chin on Shen Yuan’s shoulder. “It is rather sad that Shui-xiong gets drunk so easily. Lucky for him that I am such a good friend.”
When Pei Ming turned and smirked at him, Shen Yuan showed his appreciation of Pei Ming being such a good friend by smacking him with his fan. Completely unphased, (the jerk) Pei Ming turned back to look at the servant, “What did you come here for?”
The servant respectfully cupped his hands, saying, “Ling Wen requested to speak with you about an important and urgent matter. She is currently in your waiting room”
“Alright. Let me get dressed. Go inform her that we are on our way.” Pei Ming released Shen Yuan, turning towards his wardrobe to prepare.
Shen Yuan’s mind was racing. Ling Wen had something private to talk about to Pei Ming. Could it be? Was Jing Wen’s times up? Was the kingdom of Xuli going to fall? According to the novel, Ling Wen killed Bai Jing, creating the Brocade Immortal, to orchestrate the eventual fall of Xuli—the base of Jing Wen’s worshippers and power source. Pei Ming had helped Ling Wen in her plans, burning down and destroying Jing Wen’s temples. He glanced at Pei Ming, who was tying his belt. Whatever Ling Wen wanted to talk about, he was probably not needed at this time. Moving towards the door, his steps were halted by Pei Ming, who had grabbed his wrist.
“Where are you going?” Shen Yuan looked back at Pei Ming.
“Many thanks to Pei-xiong for taking care of me last night. I’m sorry you had to see my shameful appearance. Seeing as Ling Wen wants to speak to you privately, I should head back to my palace.”
Pei Ming rolled his eyes, “Why wouldn’t you come along if Ling Wen is talking to me? It’s apparently important, so you should also hear what it’s about.” Not letting Shen Yuan get another word in, Pei Ming firmly guided Shen Yuan to the waiting room.
They entered the room, Pei Ming grabbing Shen Yuan’s waist as he steered him to the table Ling Wen was sitting at. Pei Ming gently pushed him down on the seat, snapping him out of his daze.
Ling Wen raised an eyebrow as she looked at them, before grabbing the teapot to pour all three of the tea. She glanced over at Shen Yuan, “Good that you’re already here. I was going to send a message to your palace to request that you join as well.” Shen Yuan’s brow furrowed in confusion. So she actually did want to talk to him as well. However, if she were here to begin planning Jing Wen’s downfall, why would Ling Wen need him? According to the novel, Shi Wudu hadn’t been involved with the downfall of Jing Wen nor Xuli. If not deposing Jing Wen, what else would Ling Wen need to speak about?
Ling Wen took a deep breath, “I am sure that you have heard that the kingdom of Xuli is about to enter the war with a neighboring kingdom.”
Ah. So it really was about deposing Jing Wen. This was it. He straightened. It was time for Ling Wen’s rise.
“Wasn’t there a very strong general in Xuli? From what I remember, the only kingdom that was destined to fall at this time was Xianle.” Pei Ming eyed Ling Wen before tilting his head back and downing his cup in one gulp.
Some tea slipped out the corner of his mouth, tracing down the curve of his throat. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but internally whistle in admiration. Dang Pei Ming, just like his Binghe, the general was truly the picture of the perfect stallion protagonist. Even the sight of him drinking tea would cause countless women to swoon.
Shaking his head slightly to bring himself back to the topic at hand, “You killed him didn’t you?” Shen Yuan addressed Ling Wen as he looked down at his tea, thumbs lightly rubbing circles on the teacup.
Two kingdoms were on the brink of war. Two kingdoms were about to fall. Both Xie Lian and Jing Wen would follow the fate of their kingdom.
Ling Wen nodded, “Yes, I killed him. He has now become a resentful ghost filled with dark energy. More importantly,” Ling Wen looked up, her eyes finally blazing with life, ready to fight.
“I want to bring Jing Wen down, and I am requesting your help.” Ling Wen’s goal was clear. She was out for blood.
“So that’s how it is! Very well. I can lend you some warriors to burn his temples and harass his worshippers. We’ll see how he is able to stand up.” Pei Ming laughed as he slammed his cup against the table.
Pei Ming may not be the most righteous person alive, but he was honest and lived by his own set of morals and sense of righteousness. Ling Wen, on the other hand, was mostly driven by her ambitions. Shen Yuan might not completely agree with her methods, but he understood why she wanted to overthrow Jing Wen. As long as Jing Wen stood above her, she would never be able to rise to the greatness that was her due, simply because of the discrimination against her gender.
“While I am not strong enough to actually provide help, you can always find refuge in my Water Palace. You can be assured that if you hide there, no one will be able to come after you.” Shen Yuan took a small sip after speaking, throat suddenly dry.
He knew he wasn’t strong enough to provide help the way Pei Ming could, but he also knew he couldn’t simply let his friend suffer under Jing Wen’s foot. He might not agree with the lengths Ling Wen was going to, but his heart knew that he’d help her in any way he could.
This Is What Friends Are For.
Shen Yuan decided to keep Shi Qingxuan out of the whole situation, knowing his brother was too soft-hearted, and would just make things more complicated. Shi Qingxuan’s sense of justice, unlike the three tumors’, or even people who understood the world’s ugliness, were only applicable in a perfect world. Similar to Xie Lian before he fell, both were extremely naive.
However, because Shi Qingxuan was so naive and innocent, people couldn’t help but want to be closer to him. When Ling Wen came to hide at the Water Palace, she and Shi Qingxuan became friends quite quickly. Seeing this, Shen Yuan was extremely happy that his brother was getting along with at least one of his friends. There wasn’t any awkward tension in the palace while Ling Wen stayed, with the exception of whenever Pei Ming came to visit.
As expected, the kingdom of Xuli was unable to win without their strongest general, and it quickly headed to its decline. Jing Wen was unable to do anything to stop it, also having to deal with his own issues; Pei Ming’s forces harassing his worshippers and destroying his temples. However, while Jing Wen was perverted and sexist, he wasn’t stupid. He knew immediately that Ling Wen must have been involved. Xuli had not been fated to fall at this time. Therefore, its decline had to be due to outside interference, and who else would have the motive? A little rat had been nibbling at the pillar supporting the kingdom of Xuli, but Jing Wen should be more than capable of exterminating that rat.
Shen Yuan smirked as he watched Jing Wen yell and scream futilely at the gates of his palace. He’d used countless arrays and talismans to guard the walls, leaving the inside nice and peaceful with the judicious use of soundproofing arrays.
Taking advantage of the impromptu forced isolation period, Shen Yuan decided to train Shi Qingxuan’s fighting skills as well as help improve his spiritual energy usage.
“Qingxuan! Close your eyes and focus!” Shen Yuan sharply chided Shi Qingxuan. “You must improve your focus so that you can successfully guide and increase the spiritual energy within your body.”
“I am trying to get better Ge! It just isn’t working.” Shi Qingxuan pouted childishly at Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan sighed at the way Shi Qingxuan was acting. He honestly reminded him of Ning Yingying at times. Shen Yuan shook his head as he fondly remembered her, thinking that he could only hope and pray that Shi Qingxuan won’t be as troublesome as she had been. She’d had a unique skill at waving flags and igniting grudges between other characters. If Shi Qingxuan managed to tap into that ability, Shen Yuan’s heart probably wouldn’t be able to take it.
Putting that thought aside, Shen Yuan grabbed Shi Qingxuan’s hands, touching his forehead to Shi Qingxuan’s.
He whispered, “Close your eyes. I am going to transfer my spiritual energy into you. Just feel how the flow of my energy moves.”
Unfortunately, Shi Qingxuan was simply not very talented at cultivation. Unlike Shi Wudu, his body was not made to easily use spiritual energy, much less ascend. If it wasn’t for Shi Wudu, at most he would be an extremely free-spirited and happy mortal. Honestly, it was a life that Shen Yuan himself wouldn’t mind. Perfect for someone who had no ambitions, who liked to mind his own business, and overall stay OUT of trouble. Unfortunately, Shi Wudu’s life was the exact opposite of this.
After a while, Shen Yuan broke the connection, taking a step back. “How are you feeling? Do you understand what it was supposed to feel like?”
“I’m fine. This is just hard.” Shi Qingxuan mumbled as his nose wrinkled in displeasure.
“You will get there one day. I promise you. You are destined for greatness.” Shen Yuan reassured his brother.
“I just want to be like Ge.” Shi Qingxuan said plaintively. Shen Yuan smiled sadly at him. While Shi Qingxuan wasn’t destined for greatness, Shen Yuan still had to find a way for him to achieve it. As Shi Wudu’s greatest wish, Shen Yuan would honor it.
Shi Qingxuan must become a god.
Your Truth Is Not My Truth, So Who Cares What You Think?
A typical sore loser, Jing Wen, resorted to spreading lies about Ling Wen. Of course, because he was also a sexist pig, he defaulted—as most of that type did against women—to attacks on her virtue.
“That Ling Wen is such a two-faced slut. She would stay at my palace until midnight, attempting to seduce me. I naturally refused, as I am an honorable person. However, because she couldn’t get it from me, she decided to spread her legs for Pei Ming.” Jing Wen was speaking loudly to a group of gods near the palace of the Heavenly Emperor. He pulled a pitiful face as he spoke, in an attempt to gain sympathy.
“What a dishonorable bitch.”
“Such a slut. Truly a whore in sheep's clothing. She doesn’t know her place at all or what’s good for her. Sleep with Pei Ming? Ha! That asshole switches women as often as he changes clothes. His dick is as dirty as she is.”
Seeing this farce of a scene, Shen Yuan couldn’t stand it anymore.
*Crack*
The tree the group had been standing next to shattered from the pressure of his spiritual energy. He stalked towards them, robes billowing as the tassels of his earrings swayed around his face. Sending them all a scathing glance, every word filled with ice, he bit out, “You dare call yourselves gods? You dare talk of honor? You stand here, spewing vitriol because of your petty jealousy, no better than the basest of beasts.”
“You--!” Shen Yuan didn’t let anyone get in a single word. “You seem so invested in the personal lives of Ling Wen and Pei Ming, one can only assume that it is because you yourself are unable to find yourself a partner due to your parts being,” He glanced down mockingly, before dragging his eyes back up with a smirk, “Lacking.”
Shen Yuan dropped his voice, eyes burning into Jing Wen’s, “I may not be a god of prophecy, but I can guarantee you this. Ling Wen will still be there while all of your temples turn to dust. Your words and teachings will be forgotten. Your name will disappear. You have no place in the future that Ling Wen will be able to bring to this world. ” He sneered, “No worries though. I won’t ask that you say that you are sorry to Ling Wen or Pei Ming, because I will personally ensure that you are.” Finished, he turned on his heel, unable to stand the sight of their faces any longer.
He had clearly shown where his allegiance lay. There was no going back now. Shen Yuan didn’t like trouble, and originally hadn’t wanted to get directly involved, still not agreeing with how Ling Wen was carrying out her plans, but after hearing what they had been spewing, he couldn’t do anything but act.
Of course, even after speaking up for Ling Wen, Shen Yuan’s words were treated like air. Simply put, it was because he did not have enough power. Unlike Jing Wen, he had no standing amongst the other gods. The lies continued to spread, getting increasingly filthier. Shen Yuan knew that while the three tumors couldn’t be considered ‘good,’ he still couldn’t let it go when others not only disparaged his friends, but spread lies about them.
Shen Yuan wasn’t a fighter like Pei Ming, but he was a scholar, a petty-ass little bitch, and writing came naturally to him. In this war, he wielded a brush rather than a sword, and he was determined to continue wielding it until the war was over. His brush danced down the scroll, crafting sentences that would expose the truth. Letting Jing Wen’s true nature be known, he produced scroll after scroll exposing the lecher’s character.
Shen Yuan spent days in his palace with Ling Wen, developing their own anti-propaganda and anti-slander campaign against Jing Wen. Once they’d finished the latest batch of information, he would then deliver the messages to the young monks at the Qing Jing Temple during his periodic visits. The monks would then spread the messages to the people surrounding the temple, eventually spreading it throughout the land.
Shen Yuan could only sigh as he picked his brush up and continued to write. He had to constantly blink to ease the strain in his eyes, the tassels of his earrings swaying as he tried to keep his head from dipping. He desperately wanted to sleep, but looking at how hard Ling Wen was working, and how she seemed to have no intention of stopping, he felt too ashamed to stop working.
The sound of the brush and the paper was fading into white noise. His hands felt cramped, and he was pretty sure his butt had become as flat as a pancake after sitting for so long. His head slowly drooped closer and closer to the scroll he was writing on.
*Thump*
Shen Yuan’s head hit the desk, fast asleep. Something brushed against his cheek and he roused slightly, grumbling a little in protest. Floating in a haze, he drifted in and out of consciousness. It felt as if he was being lifted up and carried in a warm and safe hold. Wanting to chase that feeling, he snuggled closer to the warmth, sighing happily. The rocking motion paused slightly, as he felt the hold around him squeeze, grasping his body even tighter.
“. . .gege.. . .” Shen Yuan mumbled. He sorely missed his two older brothers from his original life. Actually, he missed everyone. He missed Binghe, Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, Mu Qingfang, and even Shang Qinghua. It felt like it had been so long since he’d been able to truly relax. He didn’t want to have to constantly push himself to his limits, always having to live up to the lofty image of the powerful and untouchable Water Tyrant. He wanted someone to be there for him. Someone that he could lean on and get support from when things got too tough, knowing that they didn’t expect him to always be strong.
He fully admitted he’d grown up spoiled. In his original life as the third son of an extremely wealthy family, he’d done nothing but waste his days away reading trashy novels. He’d never had to stress about life. His brothers had taken care of the family business, freeing him from any responsibilities.
Even in his second life as Shen Qingqiu, although he wasn't willing to admit it, in truth he had been pretty lucky. Shen Qingqiu was already powerful, and held a high position in the world. Because of that, Shen Yuan hadn’t had to work too hard to achieve anything, only having to maintain what he already had. Additionally, he had people to help support him when he ran into trouble.
Was this some sort of karma? He’d already had the good fortune to have people who took care of him in his previous lives, so to make up for that, was he fated to not have anyone to rely on in this life? His heart ached. He couldn’t help but want to feel cared for. However, he knew that if he wasn’t the perfect image of strength and power, everyone that he’d come to love and care for in this life would undoubtedly leave him.
He hated this life. He hated that he had to be the responsible one this time, but was too incompetent to be able to deal with the hard work that followed those responsibilities. Something like ambition, hard work, and fulfilling responsibilities had never fit him. He just wanted to return to being Shen Yuan or even Shen Qingqiu. He liked being able to be lazy, he liked eating, and he liked sleeping, but after coming to this world, he was barely able to do any of that, for fear that if he let anyone down, he’d be left completely alone. All he did was work and even more work, squeezing himself into a role that fit terribly.
Shen Yuan thought to himself that he was being unfair. He should be grateful that he had a loving brother and friends that he can joke around with in this life. Nevermind he’s only an imitation of what they truly expect—he just had to accept it. He should be satisfied at least with the memories of the people he’d had in his previous lives. It’s just… It doesn’t feel like enough anymore. And if Shen Yuan is being honest, that just makes him hate himself the most for being so goddamn selfish and useless .
In the midst of his despairing thoughts, he realized that the rocking sensation had stopped, and he was now stationary in a warm cocoon. Beneath his cheek, he felt a rhythmic thumping. Something gently touched him, wiping away stray tears that had gathered despite his closed eyes, leaving a trail of warmth in their place. Whimpering softly, he turned towards the warm touch, feeling it return as it soothingly began combing through his hair. The repeated motion and soft thumps continued, his negative thoughts disappearing until he finally sank into a deep dream.
He dreamt that he was with Shi Qingxuan, Binghe, Liu Qingge, and all the people he’d had to leave behind. He finally had all of his important people around him, and everyone was safe and happy. But deep down he knew. It was only a dream, and it was going to remain a dream. His happiness was never going to be possible. He should quickly wake up and realize it, but just for now-- Just for now he wished to remain in the dream for a little while longer.”
“Binghe. . . “ He sighed. Something around him shook, before enclosing him tighter, drawing him against a firm and warm surface. It was like someone was holding him in their arms, and his body naturally leaned closer, like a flower seeking the sun. He knows that if he really woke up and opened his eyes, nothing would be there. However, as comfort-hungry as he is, Shen Yuan can’t help but lean into those gentle touches and warmth. He hates himself just a little more for being so weak.
But that doesn’t stop him.
When Shen Yuan woke up, he was alone in his room. However, his cocoon of blankets felt very warm—like he’d been laying with a large hot water bottle. Additionally, his bed felt a lot softer than usual. If he didn’t know better, Shen Yuan would have thought that he was in Pei Ming’s bed again. However, looking at his surroundings, he could see it was definitely his room. He frowned. Was he crazy? Had his bed always like this? Also, he could have sworn he’d last been working with Ling Wen. Did he just sleepwalk over here?
His musings were interrupted when Shi Qingxuan walked into his room with a pout.
“Ge! Can you believe the audacity of that General Pei Ming? He was shameless enough to come into the palace completely uninvited.” Shi Qingxuan thunked two bowls of warm soup onto the bedside table. He pushed one of the bowls towards Shen Yuan, urging him to eat.
“Pei Ming came by?” Shen Yuan tilted his head to the side as he questioned Shi Qingxuan.
“Yea, I just kicked him out when he tried to see you.” Shi Qingxuan scowled as he stuffed a spoonful of soup in his mouth, childishly showing his displeasure.
Shen Yuan sighed and grabbed a clean napkin, gently dabbing it against Shi Qingxuan’s cheeks, cleaning him up.
“Don’t act so rudely to Pei Ming.” Shen Yuan chided Shi Qingxuan, lightly pulling on his cheek.
“I just don’t like him. He’s sniffing around you way too much. A person like him definitely doesn’t have good intentions” Shi Qingxuan petulantly mumbled, slapping away Shen Yuan’s hand half-heartedly as he continued to slurp his soup.
Shen Yuan was about to scold him again for talking rudely about Pei Ming, but Shi Qingxuan quickly followed up with, “Ge, you should eat. It’s been a while since we actually spent time together. Let's go to the mortal world to drink or something. It’s not very fun by myself.”
Shen Yuan found that he really couldn’t be too upset at Shi Qingxuan. Not with his bright smile. So pure and naive. Not tainted at all. A true white lotus—someone completely opposite of himself. He couldn’t help but be filled with envy, wishing he could also be as pure as Shi Qingxuan.
That will never be me.
It was useless to dwell on impossibilities. He threw himself back into his work.
The three tumors continued working hard to take down Jing Wen. It took time, but eventually, Jing Wen’s reputation and his standing were completely destroyed. It didn’t matter how much Jing Wen raged and how many lies he spread. With Xuli falling, his worshippers declining due to harassment, his temples burning down faster than they could be rebuilt, and his reputation being torn to pieces, it was only a matter of time.
Jing Wen fell and Ling Wen rose as a god in the Upper Court.
When The Storm Comes, Nothing But Destruction Is Left In Its Wake.
Heaven started to operate more efficiently with Ling Wen in the Upper Court. Unfortunately, even though she easily proved her competence, she was still constantly demeaned for being a woman. Despite this, she carried out her duties effectively, and was quickly rising to prominence as the number one Civil God.
Pei Ming was still very comfortably the second most powerful martial god, and while Shen Yuan wasn’t the most powerful elemental god quite yet, he was still a force to be reckoned with. Shen Yuan knew that he still had to work hard to reach the point where he could be the undisputed Water Tyrant, the most powerful and wealthy god, but right now, he felt as if he could finally take a breath and relax a bit as things seemed to have stabilized.
Unfortunately, Shen Yuan never quite seems to get what he wants.
He was walking back to the Water Palace, enjoying a spirited conversation with Pei Ming and Ling Wen, when Shi Qingxuan hurtled towards him in tears.
“Ge! It's back,! T’S BACK! AHHHHHHHHH!” Shi Qingxuan was nearly hysterical, grabbing onto Shen Yuan.
The blood drained from Shen Yuan’s face. He desperately hugged Shi Qingxuan, before gently carrying him back to the Water Palace, his mind in disarray. The Venerable of Empty Words was back. He had dreaded its eventual return, but despite knowing it would return, he’d still held onto the stupid hope that he’d done enough that they could finally be free of it.
Shen Yuan immediately covered his brother with all the defensive artifacts he had. As they all eventually lost their effectiveness, he began emptying his vault to buy more. But it wasn’t enough. The inflow of merits wasn’t enough.
[Misson: God of Wealth. 100 B points]
It was time for Shi Wudu to become the Water Tyrant.
Seeing You Helpless Brings Me Joy.
Shen Yuan needed more merits. He was running out of defensive artifacts and talismans to protect Shi Qingxuan from the Venerable of Empty Words. He could still do this. He could still protect Shi Qingxuan. He just needed to work harder.
Every night, he would crawl to the box where he kept the handkerchief with He Xuan’s blood, still kept fresh with a spell, taking it out and clutching it like it was his salvation.
[Host just needs to switch Shi Qingxuan’s fate with He Xuan’s. Is Host so stupid and useless that he can’t even do something that simple?]
And every night, he would try to harden his heart and just do it. However, he simply couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger. He’d see He Xuan’s face and the faces of his family floating in front of him and his heart would soften. Torn with indecision, his chest felt cold, as if someone had shoved an icicle just below his heart. He trembled, unable to sleep.
“ It’s fine. I don’t have to switch just yet. There are still other methods. I’m still able to obtain merits, and I have plenty of merits right now. It’s okay. Everything will be okay. I can take a little more time.”
Shen Yuan dropped the handkerchief on the floor and hugged himself, trying to stop his trembling. He wasn’t weak. Adaptability was one of his greatest strengths, and he would adapt to this situation. He could do this. He just had to focus on his main objectives.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
[System believes that Host should stop lying to himself about things that are impossible. The situation is simple and easy. Host is just a coward.]
When the merits he’d been saving for years finally began to run out, he couldn’t deny reality anymore. He had to protect Shi Qingxuan from the Venerable of Empty Words, but defense artifacts were not cheap. He was rapidly running out of money, but he needed the artifacts. That was non-negotiable. However, he still couldn’t bring himself to utterly doom He Xuan. Regardless, he had to do something.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.
Shen Yuan hadn’t wanted to resort to the same method that Shi Wudu had used. He had never wanted to be that type of scum. Like most people, Shen Yuan simply wanted to act with decency and kindness to others. However, he was still unwilling to switch Shi Qingxuan’s fate. Unfortunately, if he wanted to keep protecting him, he needed the merits. There simply was no other choice.
Currently, there was no real need to pray to the Water God if a person wanted to use the waterways. After all, why pay to use the water when you could do so for free? However, if Shen Yuan forced people into a situation where they had no choice but to worship him to access water, they would.
Shen Yuan sent out the proclamation: Anyone who wished to use the water pathways must worship the Water Master Shi Wudu to do so. He immediately hated himself just a bit more, knowing that what he was doing was wrong. Water was a basic necessity—a basic human right, and a source of livelihood for many. However, pushed to the brink and left with no other choice, he could only close his eyes with acceptance as his heart raged against him.
While he wouldn’t go so far as to sink those who didn’t worship him, he wouldn’t allow them to move either. The wind master position was still empty, so the people were at the mercy of the extremely cruel Water Master. Unless they worshiped him, not a single boat was allowed to move. (If Shen Yuan secretly looked the other way when a battered ship filled with desperately poor people sailed, it was no one else’s business but his own.)
“The Water God. Ha! More like the Water Tyrant. What sort of god acts in this manner?”
“Can he even be considered a god? Isn’t he more like a demon?”
Shen Yuan heard every angry and disparaging remark. He was a merciless and cruel god without honor or morality, he was hated, he had forced all of his worshippers to worship him. He let it all flow over him. It was no less than he deserved. Everything they said was true.
He ignored it all, closing himself off and drowning once more in research. He took up multiple missions trying to make himself more well known, hoping that the amount of worshippers would increase. He didn’t actually care about the fact that he now had the second most worshipped temple, nor the fact that he was the fastest rising god. He only cared about getting the merits he needed to protect his brother. He completed prayer after prayer, constantly patrolling the waterways, never resting. He had to be like the waters, always moving, never stopping.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
[Mission complete: +100 B points]
In name, he was the wealthiest god, his coffers overflowing. In reality, he was penniless, his vault completely empty.
Merits were quickly pouring in, but were pouring out just as quick.
Shen Yuan had just returned from a mission, exhausted and still sluggishly bleeding, when he literally ran into Pei Ming. He stumbles, losing his balance, but Pei Ming catches him before he falls.
Pei Ming grins at him, “Why Shui-xiong how forward of you to throw yourself at me.”
Shen Yuan rolls his eyes, not nearly rested enough to begin to deal with Pei Ming’s teasing, “Many thanks to the great General Pei Ming. If you’d please release me, I need to go answer prayers.”
“You just got back from a mission, and you’re leaving yet again?” Pei Ming narrowed his eyes, taking in Shen Yuan’s battered and exhausted state, “Shui-xiong-- Perhaps you should--”
“Pei Ming, I need to go.”
Pei Ming gripped Shen Yuan’s shoulders tighter, “Shui-xiong, you need to rest.” Seeing that Shen Yuan was clearly tuning him out, he gritted his teeth, “Shi Wudu listen to me!”
Shen Yuan looked Pei Ming in the eyes, pointedly taking a step back as he brushed Pei Ming’s hands off his shoulders, “As I said, many thanks to Pei-xiong. However, I must attend to my duties.” Not allowing Pei Ming to say anything further, he immediately whirled himself away with a transportation array.
He couldn’t afford to stop working. Even if he was tired, even if he was bleeding and badly hurt, he couldn’t stop moving. Time would not wait for him. He needed more merits, he needed more worshippers.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
He had to keep going.
Notes:
My reason for the ship, HX and PM both resembles LBH and LQG somewhat. Along with how I came up with this fanfic. (SJ=SWD so SY gotta help SWD clean up as well)
PM like LBH is a harem master with over 3 digits members and probably looks hot af. Like LQG is a great friend and great at battling (Not the 2nd martial god for nothing). I believe he that sticks to his morals (Not as righteous as LQG but it somewhat counts right?) as HC said, he won't always help a friend if it goes against his morals and the story about splitting his sword. But hella loyal to his friends. (More like LQG than LBH based off)
HX is more like Bingge than Bingmei in my opinion. Both are driven by revenge and obsessed with that one person that fucked them over (Stalking/taking tabs) and harmed those that their target cared for (Crippling SQX and killing YQY). He and LBH are both good at acting and lying. Though LBH is more ruthless. Like LQG he keeps to himself and kinda doesn't know who to express himself (At least based off of his earth master acting, which might be his true personality since no one actually knows who the og earth master was.) More like LBH than LQG
SWD and SJ both are tsunderes and has serious emotional constipation. They can't give compliments and are low key like a porcupine, care for only one, and only allow that one under their soft belly while giving quill treatments to others. They are loyal to one and would willingly be harmed for their safetly. Both extremely prideful and died in the hands of the ones they once took advantage of. However, they both left the world with all their pride intact. (No regret for both of them)
Because my brain came up with these resembles I am forcing SY to clean up his brother's mess. He did great with his second brother (SJ) and now it is time to help the eldest one (SWD) Good luck SY.
SY in my opinion is kinda like Yin Yu. Both quiet and run away from their troubles. Fucked up the life of someone they cared for (LBH and Quan Yizhen) and because of that have guilt but is too afraid of confrontation causing the younger ones to chase after them (Basically both have a puppy trailing behind them) They both give a WTF is going on the vibe or maybe it is just me.
LMAO thank you for reading my TED talk. But all in honestly, I hoped you enjoyed the story. Still debating about how I plan to deal with Xie Lian and if SY should help. -3-
Chapter 7: Am I Doing The Right Thing?
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan was overstretched and overworked, spread so thin he’s surprised he hasn’t torn himself apart yet. The only thing in his mind was to do everything he could to make sure he didn’t fail his objectives. He kept taking missions, kept answering prayers, and kept protecting Qing Jing temple.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
Maybe, Shen Yuan can’t help but think later, maybe if his brain had actually been functioning, if he had processed where he was going or what he was doing, if he had been just a little smarter…
Maybe things would have turned out differently.
Or maybe not.
Maybe it was meant to happen as soon as Shen Yuan took Shi Wudu’s place, trying to fit a role that was not meant for him.
But maybe everything Shen Yuan had ever done had always been meant to lead up to this.
In the haze of his exhausted mind, Shen Yuan heard someone praying to him from the Xianle Kingdom. The worshipper was a man who had managed to scrape together enough money for one last prayer. With the doors to the capital firmly closed, and no help coming, the man had lost faith in the Crown Prince, deciding to bet the last of his hope and money to pray to another god for help. It was a sad and simple prayer.
He prayed for a single cup of water.
Shen Yuan, thinking that it was easy enough, stupidly went to answer the man’s prayer. While the original novel hadn’t made it explicit, Shen Yuan had the power to control all water, just as the name ‘Water Master’ implied. Water existed everywhere. 71% of the Earth was covered with it. Additionally, every being, every organism and even every god, ghost, and demon all contained water and needed water to live. Even the air wasn’t free from water, as he’d learned from science classes in his original life. The components of water and its physical states were always present. Thus, creating a cup of water out of what was ostensibly thin air was child’s play for him.
He appeared in front of the desperate man, drawing a hand array on one of his palms before cupping them together. Concentrating his spiritual energy, he chanted a quick incantation, collecting the water molecules from the air into drinkable water. Once his hands were filled with water, he walked towards his worshipper.
“It’s alright. Drink here.” The man stumbled desperately to Shen Yuan, as he drank from Shen Yuan’s cupped hands. It was clear that if he had been able to, the man would have cried in relief, but he didn’t even have enough water to spare for his tears.
Unfortunately, If you help one, others will take notice, and then you must help all. Once the surrounding people saw that he was able to create water, they all crowded desperately around him. With a gentle smile, Shen Yuan told them, “Watch.”
Shen Yuan created water for those people and brought happiness to those stuck outside the gates of the city. Unfortunately, there was only so much he could do. Despite what it looked like, he was not creating water out of nothing. The water was actually being stolen from the surrounding air, heating it. The hot air would cause the people to need to drink more water, thus perpetuating an unending cycle. Shen Yuan knew this and he, like the Rain Master knew that he was never going to be able to save everyone. When he’d done as much as he could, he left, hardening his heart against those who cried for him.
He should have known that of course his actions would be noticed. If he’d been thinking properly, he would have just ignored the initial prayer to not bring Xie Lian’s attention to himself. A ‘cultivator’ who could create water out of thin air was especially noteworthy—particularly when water was desperately needed. News of this mysterious cultivator quickly spread, reaching the Crown Prince’s attention. Xie Lian might be naive, but he wasn’t stupid. Hearing about this miracle, he was able to quickly connect the dots and figure out who exactly the ‘cultivator’ was.
Unlike the Rain Master, Xie Lian hadn’t thought to request for help from the Water Master because he, like the original Shi Wudu, hadn’t understood the full potential of the Water Master’s abilities. In the middle of a drought, of course Xie Lian would have gone to the god who could provide rains, as what good was a god who could only control bodies of water if there were none? Knowing about that potential now, it shouldn’t have been a surprise when Xie Lian finally came knocking.
Shen Yuan stared at Xie Lian, a little shocked that he was standing face-to-face with the protagonist of Heaven’s Official Blessings. Truly, Xie Lian looked every inch a main character, nobleness exuding from his very being. Still a little taken aback, he was about to welcome Xie Lian into his Water Palace, but before he could even greet Xie Lian, he immediately got to the point of his visit.
“Greetings to the Water Master. I know that we haven’t met before, but I am here to ask if you would be willing to lend me some of your ability to help save Xianle?”
Shen Yuan paused. He could easily say no right now. Put an end to it before he got pulled into problems bigger than he could handle. Right now, Xie Lian was too prideful to push or beg. If he had, Shen Yuan knew that he would have folded without question. He was unfortunately weak to tears and begging.
Shen Yuan took a deep breath as he turned his back on Xie Lian, not able to look at the other god’s hopeful face. “How brave of you to come ask the Water Tyrant for help. Did you not know that he is the cruelest god? You should know better than to come to a god who forcefully gained all of his worshippers.” With that, he walked away from Xie Lian.
He sighed in display as he left. He’d definitely gotten on the protagonists’ bad side, which was probably not the best thing to do. The original him would probably be appalled at his actions, but he was too tired to care. Besides, Xie Lian truly was a god of misfortune; everyone he interacted with never had a peaceful life. This was a pool of muddy water. Truly, nothing good would come out of getting close to the protagonist.
Shen Yuan went about his day, trying to ignore the sight of Xie Lian’s tired yet hopeful face asking him for help. It flashed before his eyes as he was answering prayers, during his missions, and as he was teaching the ducklings at Qing Jing Temple. He knew it was a terrible idea, but his heart yearned to provide some sort of help.
[Host can’t help. Host is useless. Host can’t even solve his own problem despite being told the solution.]
Just like himself, Xie Lian was spreading himself too thin. Seeing a normally bright, kind, and confident person so worn out, made him want to help. Like Binghe, Xie Lian was one of his favorite protagonists, and it hurt to have turned away from him so coldly. The right thing was to say no and just completely ignore the problem. But he was so weak, and it’s just another thing he hates himself for, and of course, he folds. He folds, he folds, and he folds. He feels just like a wave, rolling forward constantly, but in the end, splashing uselessly onto the rocks.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
When Will You Realize That You Are Not Alone?
Deciding that he could help Xie Lian just a little bit, Shen Yuan began gathering water. Whenever Shen Yuan went to complete prayers, he would take some of the water in the area, whether it was in the air or an actual water source, and seal it within a heavenly pouch, trapping everything inside. Because using the air or redistributing water in the area around Xianle, would only hurt Xianle even more, he could only make more work for himself, collecting water from different areas, being careful not to take too much from any one place. While it took him longer than if he’d simply taken regardless of the consequences, he was still able to collect enough to make a small pond.
It wouldn’t last, and it wouldn’t be able to save the kingdom from the disaster that had already happened, but it should give Xie Lian a little breathing space. That would allow him and his kingdom a little time to clear their mind and really assess the situation. Besides, he’d managed to change things in his last life, managing to save Liu Qingge, so who could say whether his actions here wouldn’t help ease Xie Lian’s suffering in the future?
Arriving in Xianle, Shen Yuan walked along the parched land, frowning in consideration. He needed to plan the pond’s location and design carefully. Due to the dryness of the ground, he couldn’t just dig and place the water in a hole, because the soil around the area would just soak it all up. He would have to place arrays to prevent that from happening. Additionally, the pond would be needed to help water crops in addition to drinking water.
All of the people that he came across looked defeated, skin stretched too tightly across their bones, their faces resembling dried-out raisins. Looking at them, Shen Yuan decided that he actually had more free time than he thought. He was a god, meaning he didn’t need to eat or drink. It was just a luxury to do so, therefore, he could do without it, leaving him with more time to help Xianle. However, he’d be careful not to get too involved. He didn’t need Jun Wu as an enemy either. Dealing with He Xuan was already too much.
Resolved to help, Shen Yuan picked up a shovel and started to dig into the cracked and hard ground. Even though he had much better stamina and strength than a mortal, it was still grueling work. His hands and back ached, as he started to sweat. He questioned himself multiple times as people started to gather around and watch him dig, feeling his ears and neck burn with embarrassment. Who had ever heard of a god doing such labor? Pushing down the embarrassment and ignoring the stares, he kept digging until he heard a surprised voice.
“Water Master?”
Shen Yuan raised his head, staring up at a bewildered Xie Lian.
“What are you doing?” Although Xie Lian didn’t openly assume that Shen Yuan was coming to help, his eyes brightened with hope.
Shen Yuan threw the shovel down to the ground, grabbing his fan instead. “I want to dig a hole.”
Xie Lian's eyes looked from the shovel on the ground, to Shen Yuan calmly fanning himself, before smiling. “Here? How big do you need it?” He pointed at where Shen Yuan’s small hole laid.
“From here to the house, down to that tree and back to that boulder. The hole should be about 10 feet deep.” Shen Yuan lowered his fan, pointing at where the general layout should be.
Xie Lian nodded, as he walked up to Shen Yuan, gently pushing him to the side. With the area cleared, he looked down, punching the ground three times and with just three punches, he was easily able to create a big enough crater that fulfilled Shen Yuan’s requirements.
Dang protagonist halo. What was Shen Yuan even doing here? He was just eating popcorn and embarrassing himself. As expected, Xie Lian was amazing.
Shen Yuan dusted off his robes, before leaping into the crater, gracefully landing right next to Xie Lian. Grabbing a silver dagger from his waist, he sliced his palms with it. Shen Yuan felt a flash of pain as he squeezed his palms to make the blood drip faster. Once he had enough blood flowing, Shen Yuan carefully walked the length of the crater as he drew the array, painting the entire crater bright red.
Once finished, he healed his wounds with a burst of Qi before grabbing Xie Lian and pulling him out of the crater. He then pulled out his pouch, opening it to release the water molecules he’d collected.
“Step back a bit.” Shen Yuan called out, changing the properties of the water molecules into water. As if by magic, the crater was soon filled to the brim with fresh, drinkable water to the joy of the surrounding people.
Xie Lian looked at the miracle that just happened in front of him with wide eyes. “Th. . thank you.”
While the people were cheering, Shen Yuan pulled Xie Lian to a private area.
“There is no need to thank me. This pond won't last, and all I am doing is artificially prolonging the peace here. You know that the Xianle kingdom is destined to fall, and another is destined to rise. You should know that when fate demands change, it is changing for a reason.”
Xian Le’s eyebrows furrowed, as he set his jaw in a firm line. “Yes, I’ve heard that, but because I am a god, I must help my people. If you are asking me to just watch as Xianle falls, then I am sorry, but you are asking for the impossible. Thank you for your advice and your help.”
Seeing Xie Lian’s determined eyes and unyielding attitude, Shen Yuan could only sigh. There was no changing him. He knew that Xie Lian believed that what he was doing was correct, and he wouldn’t be able to simply stand by if there was the slightest chance he could lessen others pain and suffering.
“When a god interferes with mortal affairs, it can cause more harm than good.” Shen Yuan looked away, knowing that Xie Lian wouldn’t take his advice. He’d done what he could.
Xie Lian looked at the newly formed pond and said, “You are a god and with your ability, you are making people happy. If you are telling me that using your ability to bring joy and happiness is wrong, then what is the use of having such ability? What is Fate? What is Destiny? If it forces such unhappy endings, then I will use my abilities and change the ending myself. There is always another choice.”
Looking at Xie Lian’s smile, Shen Yuan dug his nails into his palms, biting his lip until it bled. The misfortune coming Xie Lian's way wasn’t something that he should be dealing with alone. Could he really simply watch as another protagonist drowned themselves in misfortune, even if he might be able to prevent it?
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
[Stop thinking of such foolish things. If Host continues, he will only find trouble ahead.]
“ Is this a threat?”
[System is just warning Host. Host will only find tragedy if he follows this path. Initiating Reminder Protocol.]
Shen Yuan gasped, “Please. No--,” but his surroundings were already turning dark. Just as his vision faded, he felt a warm hand grab him around his waist.
When Shen Yuan could see again, he was surrounded by chaos. Panicked people were yelling and screaming as they ran past him. He looked around, confused at what the System was showing him. Wasn’t He Xuan usually the one who showed up in these visions? He shivered as he remembered the last System reminder, pushing away the memories.
He kept walking forward, trying to figure out what the System was up to, when his neck was mercilessly grabbed, forcing him to stagger backwards. He gagged, grappling with the hold, fingers scrabbling for purchase, but another invisible force wrenched his arms behind his back, bringing him to his knees with bruising force. Choking, he struggled desperately, almost dislocating his shoulders, but he was unable to free himself. His vision spotting, he finally lay limp. The pressure around his neck eased off, and he was left with dead silence save for his gasping breaths. He tensed as he heard the sound of footsteps. Someone was walking closer towards him.
When Shen Yuan raised his head and looked up, his eyes widened and his entire body started to tremble. The person was wearing white funeral garb with wide sleeves and a mask that was half-laughing half crying. It was Bai Wuxiang.
He should have known. Of course, by helping Xie Lian, he would catch the attention of Bai Wuxiang, and be forced to face him as well. Shen Yuan knew exactly what Bai Wuxiang was capable of, and he felt terrified. He wanted to scream, but terror had stolen his voice. He couldn’t move—frozen in complete fear.
Bai Wuxiang strolled almost casually to Shen Yuan, crouching down in front of his kneeling form. Shen Yuan’s breath stopped when Bai Wuxiang’s hand grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to maintain eye contact with him. His other hand slowly moved from Shen Yuan’s neck, down to his waist, hovering there before moving to pluck his fan from his belt.
Bai Wuxiang mockingly chuckled, tauntingly flicking the fan open with a careless motion, before violently flinging it to the ground.
The grip on Shen Yuan’s chin tightened, “You knew that Xianle is destined to fall. Despite knowing that, you insisted on getting involved in matters that do not concern you.” The grip eases, as Bai Wuxiang gently stroked the side of Shen Yuan’s face. “Since you had YOUR fun trying to ruin my plans, isn’t it MY turn?”
Bai Wuxiang’s hand trailed to Shen Yuan’s leg, caressing it as it trembled. “Did you really think you could stand against me?” His voice whispered, “Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to teach you well.”
Bai Wuxiang’s hand clenched unforgivingly on Shen Yuan’s leg, completely shattering it.
Shen Yuan’s vision turns white, and he’s screaming .
“YOU ALMOST RUINED MY PLAN. YOU WEREN’T MEANT TO BE THERE.”
Bai Wuxiang twists his hand, grinding the shards of bone together, laughing as tears run down Shen Yuan’s cheeks, face a rictus of pain.
Shen Yuan needed to get away. He started struggling again, whites of his eyes showing as he pulled against the implacable hold on his arms, when--
*Pop*
He gasps, arms limp, as they hang dislocated from his own motions. He tries to breathe through the pain as Bai Wuxiang laughs and laughs, petting his head, before moving to grasp his arm, crooning.
“Is this the arm that commands the water and the waves? Is this the arm that you proudly control your spiritual abilities with?”
Please no. Don’t--I can’t--
Shen Yuan bites back the screams that want to come out, tries to move—do anything to escape, but his body hangs useless, refusing to budge an inch.
Bai Wuxiang smiles as his hand tightens.
Mercy, please. Shen Yuan begged silently as he closed his eyes, teeth clenched shut in anticipation of the incoming pain. A while passed and nothing happened. Shen Yuan cautiously opens his eyes, feeling the pressure on his arm lessen. However, that momentarily feeling of hope as he raises his head to meet Bai Wuxiang’s eyes gets crushed just as mercilessly as his arm.
Oh god It hurts It hurts It hurts
His vision flickers, as he hears Bai Wuxiang murmur into his ear, “Engrave this lesson into your bones. Don’t interfere with my business.”
Shen Yuan blacks out from pain, welcoming the darkness with open arms.
He opens his eyes with a gasp. Frantically looking around, he realizes with a sinking feeling that he’s still kneeling, arms outstretched to his sides. On the one hand, his limbs have been fully healed. On the other, it seems like the System isn’t done with him yet. He’s in a darkened room, surrounded by numerous statues of himself. However, every single statute has been gruesomely sliced into pieces. He swallows, staring at the eerie sight of his slashed visage, when something black came into his vision. Shen Yuan tenses. He knows without looking what will happen.
“System! I get it! I get it! Please just let me out!”
Shen Yuan forces himself to look up, only to see He Xuan waving a bloody fan in his hands, smiling at him. Shen Yuan’s heart drops. He recognizes the fan He Xuan is holding. It’s Shi Qingxuan’s. That means--
He Xuan waves his hand, and the bonds around Shen Yuan’s wrists yank him upright. He groans as all his weight now hangs from his shoulders. He Xuan moves closer, closing the fan with a snap. Shen Yuan’s head twists violently to the side as He Xuan strikes him across the face with Shi Qingxuan’s fan. He feels blood drip down, as the vicious hits continue. Even though he can’t see himself, he knows that his face is probably an unrecognizable mess, filled with blood.
He Xuan puases his hits as he takes a step back. He looks at Shen Yuan consideringly, before transforming the fan in his hand into a sword.
No No No No No No No NO NO NO
Shen Yuan took in a sudden breath as he saw He Xuan’s sword dip to his skin, before shallowly cutting a thin line into his chest.
It is only the beginning.
Inch by inch and bit by bit, Shen Yuan’s limbs were slowly skinned and cut. He could only close his eyes and let the pain wash over him as he waited for the vision to end. He waited and waited, wondering when exactly it would be over.
He waits for a long time.
No Matter What I Do The Outcome Is Always Wrong.
When Shen Yuan comes to this time, his awareness comes slowly, in bits and pieces. He blinks as he realizes he’s now wrapped in a cloak, and lying down on a hard surface. He also seems to no longer be in Xianle. Slowly, Shen Yuan pushed himself to his feet. He inspected the cloak that had been wrapped around him, and realized that it belonged to Pei Ming.
Shen Yuan gave silent thanks to Pei Ming, before deciding to book it. His energy hadn’t fully recovered, so he had to rest before being able to use a transportation array. However, he had no intention of staying around to see Pei Ming, only to get nagged. Lately, every time he’s met Pei Ming, they always seemed to be arguing. Pei Ming demanding he take a break, and Shen Yuan refusing because he simply didn’t have time to rest. He winced as he thought about how pathetic he must look in the other’s eyes. It would be only a matter of time before Pei Ming eventually gave up on him in disgust. Not wanting to bother Pei Ming any further, he scanned the surrounding town for a place to hide and recover. Seeing a darkened house, he slipped inside.
Once inside the house, he blinked as his eyes adjusted to the dark. The room he was in seemed to be filled with scrolls, indicating that it belonged to a scholar or other government official. Strangely enough, instead of a statue of Ling Wen, there was a delicately and carefully crafted statue of him—the Water Master. To the right of the statue, there lay a familiar bracelet and two scrolls.
FUCK this house belonged to He Xuan.
Shen Yuan just endured two visions where he’d been tortured by not just Bai Wuxiang and He Xuan. Now he potentially had to deal with He Xuan in real life? Not a chance in hell. Shen Yuan was not above bailing from the situation. He had no desire whatsoever to be in yet another terrifying yet awkward situation.
Deciding that it’d be for the best for him to make a swift exit through the window, he determinedly made his way there, opening it only to come face-to-face with a wild and disheveled looking Pei Ming. Double fuck.
Shen Yuan backed away from the window as Pei Ming swiftly leaped through and into the house.
They both stared at each other for a while before Pei Ming mouthed, ‘Your house?’
Shen Yuan shook his head.
Pei Ming looked at Shen Yuan with clear confusion written all over his face. Pei Ming's eyes darted from Shen’s Yuan face to the small safe in the corner of the room before his eyes lit up, clearly misunderstanding the situation. The expression on his face seeming to say, ‘Oooh, are we stealing? I got your back, do your thing.’ Pei Ming, even had the audacity to brightly smile at him, patting him on the back.
Shen Yuan had snuck into the house to AVOID Pei Ming and yet here he was, not only in the same room as Pei Ming, but apparently participating together in a burglary. Shen Yuan went to whip out his fan, preparing to smack Pei Ming for even suggesting that he, the Water Tyrant, would ever resort to stealing. However, the moment Shen Yuan reached for his fan, a flashback of He Xuan with Shi Qingxuan’s fan flashed through his mind.
He froze, closing his eyes as he breathed deeply. He needed to calm down. He couldn’t break down in front of Pei Ming. He had to focus and think carefully about the situation. Why did He Xuan treat him even worse in the vision than he did to the original Shi Wudu? In previous visions from the System, it had shown him events that had taken place in the books. This time, it had drastically deviated, which meant he’d definitely fucked up somewhere along the line.
He racked his brain, trying to think what changes he’d done to make He Xuan’s grudge even deeper. Did He Xuan find out about his sister's faked illness? He’d clearly become a scholar, so it couldn’t be that he’d fucked up helping He Xuan study for the exams. However, He Xuan had carved a statue of the Water Master so perfectly and with so much detail that if it wasn’t made out of wood, it would look exactly like himself. If He Xuan had spent so much time trying to engrave his image to remember it for later revenge, Shen Yuan was definitely fucked. He needed to try to fix the situation somehow. But how?
He stared at the statue, an idea lighting up in his head. Reaching for his fan again, he took it out, transforming it into a sword. Pei Ming's smile froze, hesitantly taking a step back when Shen Yuan took a step forward.
“Shui-xiong-- I don’t think violence is the best answer-- Maybe you should use your words--”
Shen Yuan ran to the statue, neatly slicing off its left leg and right arm. As his blade smoothly cut through the wood, he was hit with a bone-deep satisfaction and relief.
This feels… Really good.
His lips start to curl up as he reverses his grip, slicing the statue’s head off in one clean motion. Pei Ming, at first shocked to stillness, moves to catch the statue’s falling head, eyes fixed on Shen Yuan in disbelief.
Shen Yuan ignored Pei Ming, choosing instead to hack repeatedly at the statue. He had no desire to die while slowly being skinned alive. He needed to try to do something--anything to decrease He Xuan’s hate. Perhaps if He Xuan saw his enemy’s statue destroyed, the hate he felt would lessen. Telling himself this was the only reason he was destroying his own statue, he kept swinging his sword. Each time it bit deep into the wood, it felt like a little of his pent up frustrations were slowly being released. His shoulders felt lighter with every stab--every slice.
Shen Yuan swung his sword to slice at the statue again, when his movement was suddenly arrested. Turning his head, he saw that Pei Ming had grabbed his hand, eyes wide as he stared at Shen Yuan’s serenely smiling face.
Suddenly exhausted, Shen Yuan obediently let Pei Ming pull him away from the statue, as Pei Ming gently took the sword from his nerveless hand. Taking a step back, holding Shen Yuan’s sword in one hand, the severed statue head gently cradled in the other, he narrowed his eyes at Shen Yuan, “What the fuck are you doing? That is a statue of YOU!” Pei Ming whisper-yelled, gesticulating wildly at the damage Shen Yuan caused.
‘I know.’ Shen Yuan whispered back, rolling his eyes
Pei Ming stared at him, holding out the head as he slowly whispered, “This. Is. YOUR. Head.”
“I know. It’s either me or the statue.” Shen Yuan nodded slowly as he pointed at the statue and then at himself as if his actions and words were completely reasonable.
“That is YOUR STATUE AND YOUR HEAD.” Pei Ming furiously whispered back. He couldn’t understand what was happening at all. His normally calm friend had just completely gone off the rails, destroying his own statue. This was the first time in all his years that he’d seen a god not just disrespect their own statue, but completely destroy it. In a fit of frustration, he tried to ask Shen Yuan again, waving the sword agitatedly in the statue’s direction, “Sh--”
It was precisely at this moment that the door opened.
Everyone froze.
From He Xuan’s point of view, someone had not only broken into his house, but was also in the middle of vandalizing it, having completely destroyed the precious statue he had dedicatedly spent days carving. Said vandal was swinging his sword around like a madman, while also clutching the head of the now destroyed statue.
From Pei Ming’s point of view, he’d been in the middle of trying to figure out what his friend was thinking, when some stranger in black stormed into the room. The man was clearly the owner of the house, his eyes flashing with anger, glaring straight at him, spoiling for a fight.
From Shen Yuan’s point of view, he’d done nothing wrong. Pei Ming was just overreacting, but he had no idea why He Xuan looked so angry. Was he pissed off because he wanted to be the one to personally rip off Shen Yuan’s head? FUCK. He was just digging himself into a deeper hole. At least, he noted with relief, he was covered by the door, so He Xuan couldn’t see him.
“You scoundrel--” He Xuan seethed, as he drew his own sword.
“You’re making a mistake--”
Shen Yuan, seeing that they were occupied with each other decided he could kill two birds with one stone, using the ensuing fight between Pei Ming and He Xuan to escape both without notice. Lighting a candle for Pei Ming, and thankful that his spiritual energy seemed to have recovered, Shen Yuan sketched a quick transportation array, spiriting himself back to the Water Palace to resume his duties.
What Am I Even Doing?
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
Despite Shen Yuan’s best efforts, Pei Ming finally managed to track him down, cornering him in his palace a couple of weeks later.
“You are overworking yourself! When have you last slept?” Pei Ming grabbed Shen Yuan in an attempt to hold him in place.
Shen Yuan stared coldly up at Pei Ming, “While I appreciate Pei-xiong’s concern, you are wrong. Now if you’d be so kind to release me, I need to go complete my duties.” Shen Yuan tried to step away from the other man’s hold, moving his hands up to brush the other man’s hands off of him. He couldn’t waste any more time with Pei Ming. There was so much he had to do. Time was running out.
Unfortunately, Pei Ming refused to release him. Shen Yuan struggled harder, beating his hands against Pei Ming’s chest, but Pei Ming just weathered the blows, his hold implacable. Shen Yuan winced and accidentally let out a hiss of pain when Pei Ming shifted his hold, grabbing a part of his arm that hadn’t healed yet.
Pei Ming released him, as if burned, when he heard the sound. He examined Shen Yuan carefully, looking at how he was swaying from exhaustion, his body clearly covered in wounds.
Pei Ming’s eyes hardened with determination as he moved towards Shen Yuan. Each step Pei Ming took forward, Shen Yuan took one step back. They continued this strange dance until Shen Yuan’s back hit the wall, finally leaving him with nowhere to go.
With Shen Yuan trapped, Pei Ming gently bundled him into his arms, manhandling him onto the bed. Once on the bed, Pei Ming pinned both of Shen Yuan’s hands besides his head, settling his weight between Shen Yuan’s thighs, pinning him to the bed.
“Let me go! I need--”
“You need to sleep. I don’t know why you decided to help Xie Lian when you know that his kingdom can’t be saved. You’ve done more than enough. Just rest now.”
“I can’t. I need more merits. My brother--”
“I will PAY you to sleep. I’LL PAY YOU, SO STOP BEING SO WILLFUL!” Pei Ming roared, frustrated that he couldn’t get him to just take care of himself. Shen Yuan’s eyes widened as he froze. Pei Ming never raised his voice at him. This was the first time it had ever happened.
He didn’t like this. He was showing his weak side to Pei Ming yet again. He needed to get out. He needed to get more merits. He needed to protect Shi Qingxuan, Xie Lian, and Qing Jing. What he definitely didn’t need was Pei Ming’s added pity or whatever the other man was feeling. Besides, if he kept seeing this pathetic side of Shen Yuan, he’d definitely be disgusted.
Shen Yuan’s thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt when Pei Ming’s weight suddenly disappeared from on top of his body. His dazed eyes saw Xie Lian concernedly standing over him.
Xie Lian had come to the Water Palace to ask for help from the Water Master, having been kindly let in by the Water Master’s younger brother Shi Qingxuan. They had just entered the Water Master’s bedroom, only to be greeted with the sight of Pei Ming, a martial god physically restraining Shi Wudu on the bed while yelling that he was willing to pay him.
“My brother is NOT a prostitute! How DARE you try to sully him like that! If you need to get your dick wet so bad go find someone else!” Shi Qingxuan screamed at Pei Ming, giving the already fallen Pei Ming several kicks.
“Wait! Wait, it’s not like that--” Pei Ming didn’t bother to block Shi Qingxuan’s kicks, frantically trying to move around him to get back to Shen Yuan.
Xie Lian, seeing that Shi Qingxuan was already dealing with Pei Ming, turned to help Shen Yuan sit up. “Water Master, are you alright?”
Shen Yuan nodded, standing from the bed, as he straightened his robes, “I am. Thank you for your concern, but this is all a slight misunderstanding. What did you need me for?”
Xie Lian frowned, looking like he wanted to say something before thinking better of it, “Water Master, something happened to the pond. Could you please check it out?”
Shen Yuan frowned, thinking hard. Because he’d made that pond using his own blood in the arrays, nothing should have gone wrong with it. Therefore whatever had happened to the pond must be due outside intervention. The most likely culprit was Jun Wu, tampering with the pond to ‘right’ them onto the original path and take Xie Lian as his heir.
“I will go see what the issue is. Give me a moment--”
Shen Yuan turned to where Shi Qingxuan was still attacking Pei Ming who was half-heartedly defending himself. “Shi Qingxuan. Stop that. It’s a misunderstanding. Pei Ming was just joking around.”
“Shui-xiong--” Shen Yuan quickly cut Pei Ming off, saying “I need to go check on an important matter with Xie Lian. I’m sure you two are mature enough that you’ll be able to behave yourselves once we leave.”
“Shi Wudu--” Shen Yuan glared at Pei Ming, “Pei-xiong, thank you for your patience with this misunderstanding. I believe that I heard that Ling Wen was looking for you.” Pei Ming, knowing that retreat was the only option for now, clenched his jaw as he turned to go, looking back one last time before finally leaving the Water Palace.
Shen Yuan breathed a sigh of relief. He couldn’t let Shi Qingxuan know what was going on. He had to make his brother believe that everything was going to be okay. There was no need to further stress him out—especially with the Venerable of Empty Words hanging over his head.
Shen Yuan proceeded to shove several protective items at Shi Qingxuan, promising him that he would be returning soon, and then left with Xie Lian.
When they reached the pond, Shen Yuan’s heart sank as his suspicions were confirmed. Not only had it shrunk, it was still shrinking rapidly, filled only with stinking, contaminated water. Only one other being could have sabotaged the pond like this. In another circumstance, Shen Yuan would have been reluctantly impressed by Jun Wu’s work and how he seemed to know the best way to really hurt the enemy. Right now, Shen Yuan just really wanted to strangle him.
Shen Yuan cut his palms open once more, drawing an array around the pond. He floated to the middle of the pond, injecting his spiritual energy directly, causing the waters to glow. Sweating from the exertion and level of concentration needed, Shen Yuan slowly filtered the contaminants out of the water, returning it to a drinkable state. Unfortunately, he was unable to remove the draining array. Jun Wu’s power still dwarfed his.
Over the next few weeks, he worked tirelessly with Xie Lian to create more ponds in different locations. Unfortunately, it only took a couple of days before the pond was tampered with, contaminating the water, and draining itself dry. With no other choice, Shen Yuan had to increase his workload, collecting more and more water to pour into the pond.
You Seem To Have Forgotten About Something
As Shen Yuan was struggling to help Xie Lian and maintain his duties, he noticed that Shi Qingxuan’s condition had drastically deteriorated. At first, he didn’t think much of it, simply increasing the amount of protective talismans and defensive artifacts, but he quickly realized there was a pattern to his brother’s deterioration. Each time he went down to help Xie Lian, Shi Qingxuan’s conditions would worsen.
Shen Yuan knew Jun Wu was using the Venerable of Empty Words as a way to force his hand. Either protect Shi Qingxuan or Xie Lian. He knew that he couldn’t choose between the two. Both Shi Qingxuan and Xianle were barely holding on even with the help of his abilities.
If Shen Yuan stopped, he knew that Xianle would fall.
If Shen Yuan stopped, he knew Shi Qingxuan would die.
He had already driven himself into a corner, and was stretched out too thin. His only option was to get rid of the Venerable of Empty Words. There was no more time left. He had to switch Shi Qingxuan’s fate.
Tonight he would settle everything once and for all. His indecision had already allowed Shi Qingxuan to suffer for way too long. It was time for Shi Qingxuan to be able to finally smile freely once more.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die horribly.
In the end, Shen Yuan had only ever had one option.
Between Two Choices, I Choose the Third Option.
That night, he grabbed the handkerchief with He Xuan’s blood, and with the System’s guidance, drew the fate switching array.
[System is happy that Host is finally doing the right thing.]
He clenched his teeth. He wasn’t doing the right thing. He knew that he was wrong—that he was going to doom an entire family. Was it really the only choice?
[Shi Qingxuan’s fate must be switched so he can be saved.]
Shen Yuan tilted his head to the side, eyes narrowed consideringly, “ I need to switch Shi Qingxuan’s fate so he can become an elemental god and get rid of the Venerable of Empty Words, correct?”
[Wow. Host is correct.]
He remembered the first time he’d spoken to Xie Lian, the words ringing in his ears.
“What is Fate? What is Destiny? If it forces such unhappy endings, then I will use my abilities and change the ending myself. There is always another choice.”
Use my abilities to change the ending myself.
He knew. He’d probably always known. There was another choice.
It was never just between Shi Qingxuan or He Xuan. There was also Shi Wudu.
He was the third option. He fulfilled the requirements. He could switch his brother’s fate with his.
He closed his eyes in resignation, as he finally acknowledged the truth he’d always known. Just like everyone said, he was a selfish, weak and terrible person. Shi Qingxuan was such a pure and bright person while he was the cruel Water Tyrant. Everyone loved him, and compared to himself, Shi Qingxuan was definitely the better person.
As for He Xuan, he knew that he couldn’t kill an entire family and subject He Xuan to a terrible fate simply because of his own sake. He Xuan had to support his family, and Shi Qingxuan had plenty of people who would be better for him than some knock-off Shi Wudu. Both He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan were unquestionably more valuable than he was. The answer was obvious, and what he had to do couldn’t be clearer.
[Host is making a mistake.]
He was so, so scared, but Shen Yuan knew to his bones that this was the only truly correct choice.
He turned to the array, trying to stifle a sob, but as his shoulders shook, he gave up. For the first time since becoming Shi Wudu, he crumples . Finally allowing himself to break down and cry for his own sake. He sobs as if his heart was breaking, because it is . It’s been breaking since he left his previous world behind, and he doesn’t think it will ever heal. Was this how the original Shen Qingqiu felt? Replaced by someone else, having all that he earned through hard work completely stripped away from him?
Shen Yuan cried and cried as he mourned for Shen Qingqiu, for Shi Wudu, and most of all himself in the dark and silent room.
It’s a long time before his tears finally stop, the moon high in the sky. It’s time. He’s indulged himself long enough. With shaking hands, he reaches for a knife, slitting his wrist and watches his blood slowly ooze down his arm and onto the array.
Shi Qingxuan, even though I was not able to protect you as well as Shi Wudu, I can at least do this for you. After all, didn’t I promise you? That you would be destined for greatness.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
Notes:
Sorry for the quality of this chapter, I kinda rushed. School isn't going easy on me but I still kinda wanted to get this chapter out of the way to make room for other stuff. The updates probably won't be as frequent anymore until after November when I have my winter break and because I have another fanfic idea corrupting my mind and a wip that I haven't worked on for a while. I will also be going back to the previous chapters with a fresh pair of eyes to see if I need to edit anything.
Thank you for taking the time to read this story and leave behind comments. I really do enjoy reading and replying to it, it really brightens my day. Like always Shen Yuan is going great. One more chapter of Shen Yuan suffering before I will be forced to use another person's POV, maybe SQX but who knows.
Chapter 8: Finally Found Freedom
Notes:
This chapter came a lot sooner than expected but hopefully, you guys enjoy it.
The { bla bla bla } on the right side is The Venerable of Empty Words talking.
The [bla bla bla ] on the left is the system.Warning: suicidal thoughts, self-harm, self-hatred, blood, and suicide.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He Xuan ascended as fated, becoming the Wind Master. It was at least one less worry—one less piece of guilt for Shen Yuan to carry, and as long as He Xuan stayed away, he wouldn’t have to constantly be on edge in case he triggered more rage flags with the new Wind Master. Regardless, Shen Yuan could deal with whatever comes his way. He’ll be fine. He could adapt—it’s always been one of his stronger survival skills.
Unfortunately, that strength has been tested relentlessly lately. Despite no longer being forced to constantly drain his merits, giving water to Xianle was getting more and more difficult. Jun Wu kept on increasing the strength of his arrays, draining and contaminating the water at an even faster pace. Whenever Shen Yuan thought he’d managed to adjust, he would suddenly be outpaced. It was a never-ending cycle, but what else could he do?
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
{You’re so useless. You can’t even do a simple task because of your weakness. Everyone is going to leave you}
Shen Yuan grit his teeth and continued pushing, continuing to collect. Water. He needed to get water. There was never enough. He needed more, he had to get more. He couldn’t stop.
Shi Qingxuan pouted at his brother’s back as he prepared to leave him yet again, whining. “Ge, can’t you just stay with me?”
Shen Yuan winced internally, he knew he hadn’t been spending time with Shi Qingxuan, but he couldn’t afford to stop. “I can’t. I must do this.” He couldn’t even look at Shi Qingxuan out of guilt, worried if he did, he wouldn’t find the resolve to continue.
He staggered, the room seeming to sway around him. Hurriedly grabbing onto his desk to keep himself upright, he breathes. Balance regained, he dropped his head to his hands, trying to rub his headache away. He needed to get a grip. He couldn’t worry Shi Qingxuan. Shen Yuan let out a deep breath, walked towards Shi Qingxuan, taking his hands, and telling him. “I have to leave. Here are some merits, but if you need more, this is the key to your safe. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just make sure you stay safe and happy.”
After squeezing Shi Qingxuan’s hands softly, he turned to leave.
He had work to do.
{You can’t do anything. You are useless}
Ignore and continue to push, that was what Shen Yuan did best. Ignore the Venerable of Empty Words, ignore the pain, ignore the fatigue. As long as he could continue to push himself past his limits, it would all be okay.
[Host can continue telling himself that.]
He ignores the System.
He can’t stop. He needs to do this for Xie Lian. He’d managed to change the plot of a story before. He could do it again. He just needs to work harder. Shen Yuan, worn thinner than ever before, just…
Keeps going.
[Host’s actions are absolutely useless and he knows it too.]
“ I am the WATER MASTER. The people need water, and I command water. Both of you may say that I’m not helping, but Xianle is now functioning at least semi-normally. The number of people going to the capital to beg has decreased by at least a third. ”
[System is interested in just how long Host can hold on.]
{How long will it take for you to completely break down?}
[Very, very soon, Host won’t be able to do anything. Host can’t change the plot.]
{You were never meant to hold up, you are simply not strong enough}
Shen Yuan continued to ignore, choosing not to respond in hopes that they would just SHUT UP. After all, who could possibly understand better than him just how weak and useless his actions were? But even so he couldn’t stop, he said that he’d help, so he would. If there was just a chance that disaster could be averted, he’d take it.
Of course, it was never that simple.
Floating along a water source while trying to gather even more water for Xianle, Shen Yuan realized that something wasn’t right. Usually, the water listened to his commands readily, but it was currently taking him a lot more energy and strength to do the same task he once did.
“ System, what’s going on? Why am I having so much trouble accessing my spiritual energy?”
[Has Host forgotten that he switched fates with Shi Qingxuan?]
{So stupid of you. Shi Qingxuan is cursed to suffer forever because of his pathetic brother.}
“ What does that have to do with anything?”
[As Shi Qingxuan gains spiritual ability, Host loses his. Once Shi Qingxuan ascends, Host will lose his divinity. This is why Host’s actions were so stupid, and why Host should have just used He Xuan.]
{Oooh aren’t you sad that you can never do anything right?}
“ I’ll just have to try harder then.”
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
Your Best Isn’t Enough.
Over the course of the following weeks, Shen Yuan found himself getting weaker and weaker. As his strength left him, his desperation rose. Today, he found himself in front of another lake, trying to gather water as usual. However, with a rising sense of horror, he realized he couldn’t. He continued to drain his spiritual energy into the arrays, standing there for hours, desperately trying to force the water to listen to him.
Xie Lian eventually came to find him, “Water Master, there are issues with the ponds again. It seems that the contamination has come back.”
Shen Yuan gave a jerky nod in acknowledgement, gripping his hands inside his sleeves, trying to force them to stop trembling. He had to calm down. He needed to help Xie Lian clear the water. This was just a fluke. He had probably made a mistake when he’d been trying to gather water.
Xie Lian led Shen Yuan to the pond in question, looking on expectantly as he stood in front of the pond. Shen Yuan took a deep breath. He could do this. He cut his palms, dripping blood into familiar arrays, as he made his way to the edge of the water. When he tried to draw on his spiritual energy, he was met only with gaping emptiness.
He stood in front of the polluted water, unable to clear it. Chancing a glance at Xie Lian, he saw his confusion and disappointment. Shen Yuan clenched his fist, nails digging into his palms, drawing even more blood. He looked down at the still contaminated water, biting his lip in frustration.
He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t do anything. He really was useless. He no longer had the ability or strength to compete with Jun Wu. What could he even do?
{You are useless. You can’t even help your friend, and you still expect people to stay beside you?}
The Venerable was right. Shen Yuan had no other choice but to acknowledge the truth of the situation.
He forced himself to look at Xie Lian again, apology and admission in one, "I can't."
With that, Shen Yuan fled from Xie Lian. Fled from the disappointment in his eyes. He really couldn't do anything right could he?"
Trying to run from Xie Lian’s disappointment, from his failures, he hid in Qing Jing temple. Maybe if he could pretend everything was fine, it would be fine. He taught the kids lessons as usual, watching over their improvements with a gentle smile. The children, smart ducklings that they were, could tell something was wrong. Not knowing what it was, they could only try to make him smile, gifting him with flowers and the small trinkets they created.
And for brief periods of time, he could almost pretend that nothing was wrong. In the end however, Shen Yuan could never fool himself. That was his curse wasn’t it? He knew the truth. He knew that everything was falling apart and that it was all his fault. Xianle was burning and the kingdom was falling just as it had been fated to do, because he couldn’t even do the one thing he was good at.
Much as he wished, he couldn’t hide in Qing Jing forever. Giving firm instructions to the children to be careful and stay safe, he finally left. He wandered aimlessly, without a purpose for the first time in a long time. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for until he found himself in front of another of his temples, staring at his own statue.
Looking at its calm visage, lit gently by the moonlight, he couldn’t help but feel disgust pooling in the pit of his stomach.
You piece of shit.
He didn’t want to feel like this anymore. He knew he was a failure. He knew he was nothing like the Water Master that was being worshipped in that temple. If he could only escape for a little bit—He took a sharp breath, remembering the sense of relief he felt when he first destroyed his statue at He Xuan’s house. He needed that feeling again. He needed it badly.
I want it.
Without another thought, Shen Yuan ran into the temple, destroying everything in sight, hacking apart his own statues. He couldn’t stand seeing this version of himself standing there. As if he wasn’t complete trash.
This feels good.
This feels really really good.
As Shen Yuan wrecked his temple, it took him a while to realize that he’d been screaming, inarticulate, more a wounded howl than anything human. He didn’t care, losing himself, feeling the Venerable of Empty Words happiness and the system’s satisfaction at his self-destruction. He was never going to be alone after all this, he knew that these two leeches would continue to follow him, fueled by his own misery and fear.
He tore down more and more of his statues. However, the relief he felt as he destroyed started to decrease. He needed more relief—He needed the feeling of failure and hopelessness to disappear— he needed it all to go. He lost himself to the mindless destruction, and it seemed as if once he started, he couldn’t stop.
I’ll destroy it all until everything just leaves me alone.
If he couldn’t even help Xianle stand, then his temples didn’t need to stand either. It was fine, everything was fine. He would adjust, and once he finished, he’d finally be able to continue to move forward. Shen Yuan knew himself and knew that despite everything, he was going to be okay. He had to be alright and so will everything else. He needed just this moment of insanity. Chasing this feeling, he razed a path through his own temples.
Of course, what he was doing would not go unnoticed for long. The news of the destruction of the Water Master’s temples was spreading rapidly throughout heaven, with all the gods wondering just who would be bold enough to go against the Water Tyrant.
Pei Ming, hearing this knew with a sinking feeling just who was rapidly destroying the Water Master’s temples. He grabbed the tassel hanging by his waist, injecting spiritual energy to track its other two counterparts. Sensing that one of the tassels was in the mortal world, he left for that location immediately, fearing the worst.
Following the tassel’s signal, Pei Ming chased after Shen Yuan throughout the night, always a moment too slow. He would enter a temple, only to find it freshly destroyed, his friend nowhere in sight. Clenching his jaw, he pushed himself to go faster.
Of course, just as the destruction of Shi Wudu’s temples was big news, Pei Ming’s movements were also noticed by Heaven. Everyone knew that Pei Ming had descended to the mortal world, and was currently leaving a trail of destroyed temples everywhere he went. Connecting the dots, it was easy to come to a conclusion. Pei Ming being the bastard he is, was destroying the Water Master’s temples. What other explanation could there be?
Everyone decided to turn a blind eye to the situation. After all, what good came from looking for trouble? While no one was willing to get on the bad side of the Water Tyrant, they were also afraid of stepping on the toes of the second strongest martial god. Only the newly ascended Wind Master refused to let this travesty continue. He Xuan immediately flew to the mortal world, hoping to stop Pei Ming. Unfortunately, he was unable to catch even a glimpse of Pei Ming, let alone stop the destruction.
Shen Yuan was standing in front of Qing Jing Temple, heaving for breath when Pei Ming finally caught up. Grabbing his wrist, Pei Ming roughly pulled Shen Yuan around to face him,
“Shui-xiong! What the hell--” Pei Ming stopped himself short, jaw unclenching and eyes softening as he took in Shen Yuan’s face.
Shen Yuan looked lost, his eyes glassy. His body was trembling, breathing little shocky gasps, clearly unaware that Pei Ming was even in front of him.
{You are so weak. You look so pathetic.}
Swearing violently, Pei Ming pulled Shen Yuan forward, gently cradling Shen Yuan’s head to his chest, embracing him carefully. “Just let it all out. You’re going to be okay, I’m right here.” Pei Ming slowly rubbed his back. Shen Yuan shuddered. He couldn’t act so pathetic in front of Pei Ming. It was because Pei Ming was there that Shen Yuan mustn’t let himself fall apart.
{Continue to be so pathetic, and your friends WILL leave you.}
The fear of Pei Ming leaving him because of his weakness grounded him. Breathing in deep, Shen Yuan closed his eyes, refusing to let even a single tear fall. Pei Ming was friends with the strong Water Tyrant. He must remain strong.
He hesitated. But… Couldn’t he be weak for just a moment? Just for a second, he wanted to take the comfort being offered, and despite his self-hatred at giving into his weakness, Shen Yuan tightened his arms around Pei Ming, whispering, “I want to go home. Please bring me home.”
When Shen Yuan felt Pei Ming’s arms tighten around him and lift him up, he let himself smile and lean into the warmth. Just give him this moment, he only needed this moment.
I Am Sorry.
{As soon as your brother is given the chance, he will leave you. He hates how you treated him.}
The moment Shen Yuan woke up, his mind was clear. He knew what he had to do. He couldn’t bring anyone else down with him. He couldn’t allow Shi Qingxuan to get involved or know anything that was going on. The best option would be to send him far away on a wild goose chase, away from Xianle and most of all, away from anything related to him. Completely isolate him from any news, leaving him carefree and happy. That way Shen Yuan wouldn’t accidentally endanger him. Course of action decided, Shen Yuan went to ask Ling Wen for help forging a mission scroll for Shi Qingxuan.
After switching fates, Shi Qingxuan’s state had drastically improved. He made tons of friends and his spiritual energy has grown a lot causing him to become happier and more confident in himself. Shen Yuan couldn’t jeopardize his happiness for his own selfishness, he just couldn’t. As much as it hurt to leave Shi Qingxuan, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but think that it’d probably be for Shi Qingxuan’s own good. He knew he had to let him go before Shi Qingxuan took it upon himself to leave. Because watching Shi Qingxuan walk away from him? That would absolutely gut him.
Standing at the doorway of Shi Qingxuan’s room, he drank in the sight of his happy brother. Clearing his throat slightly, he called out, “Qingxuan, I have a mission for you.” Shi Qingxuan’s eyes creased happily, as he took the mission scroll from Shen Yuan’s hands, eager to help his brother. Seeing Shi Qingxuan’s obvious joy, Shen Yuan’s heart ached, desperately burning his brother’s smile into his memory.
Finally unable to keep looking, Shen Yuan hugged Shi Qingxuan tightly, murmuring into his hair, “Promise Gege that you’ll stay safe.”
“Okay! I promise Gege!”
“Promise Gege that if there is any problem go find Pei Ming. Avoid Jun Wu.”
“What? Why--” Shi Qingxuan looked extremely confused.
“Just promise Gege.” Shen Yuan tightened his hold, and once he heard the promise, he inhaled deeply, pulling away from Shi Qingxuan. As he turned to walk away, he repeatedly told himself this was for the best.
{Are you forcing him to leave because you know if you didn’t, he would leave sooner or later anyway?}
One down one more to go.
Shen Yuan stood in front of his empty vault, having already transferred all his wealth and treasures to ensure Shi Qingxuan’s continued safety. There was only one item resting forlornly on the floor. A pendant. His feet were heavy as he slowly walked to it. Staring at it, he finally smiled as he pocketed the pendant and left the vault.
He invited Pei Ming to the Water Palace, the other man running over as soon as he knew that Shen Yuan had woken. “Are you feeling better Shui-Xiong?”
Shen Yuan took a deep breath, “Pei-Xiong can you do something for me?” Shen Yuan’s hands were sweaty as he looked away from Pei Ming. He clenched one fist tightly around the pendant in his sleeve, trying to calm himself down. He couldn’t let Pei Ming see his worthlessness once he followed through with his plans. He wanted to remain strong and mighty in Pei Ming’s eyes. He wouldn’t, no he couldn’t ruin that image.
Pei Ming leaned towards Shen Yuan, eyes fixed on him as he breathed, “Anything.”
Shen Yuan “Please help me find the Everlasting Frost Flower and the Blood-Red Jade Purifying Tablet.”
Both of these objects were extremely rare, with little to no information readily available. It would take Pei Ming quite a while to actually find those items.
Shen Yuan was ready to come up with another excuse, when Pei Ming immediately said.
“For you? Consider them found,” Pei Ming answered, voice steady and confident. If Shen Yuan wanted something—anything—even if it was impossible, Pei Ming would be willing to get it.
Pei Ming scrutinized Shen Yuan’s face, eyes searching intently, before quietly asking, “Can you tell me your verbal password?”
“After you leave, I will use yours and tell you. I would rather not say it out loud here as it is slightly embarrassing.”
Pei Ming blinked, before the ends of his lips curled up slyly. He batted his lashes playfully, “How scandalous Shui-xiong. Who would think that such an upright person would have an improper password?”
Rolling his eyes, Shen Yuan shooed Pei Ming away, the other man departing with a jaunty wave. After he left, Shen Yuan was finally able to let out the breath he had been unknowingly holding. He drew his hands out of his sleeve, looking down at the pendant he’d been gripping.
The pendant that Shen Yuan held was called the Find Me Not Pendant. As long as he was wearing it, anyone he did not wish to find him would be unable to do so—even if they were in the same room.
He sighed as he injected spiritual energy into the pendant, placing it around his neck. He had never set his verbal password before, because he couldn’t decide what it should be. However, he now knew what it should be—the truth.
Taking a steadying breath, he contacted Pei Ming through his personal communication array.
“ Pei Ming, my verbal password is: I hate Shi Wudu. I hope I never see him again.”
“What? Wait-- Shui-xiong!”
Shen Yuan closed the connection and left for the mortal realm.
{Shi Qingxuan and Pei Ming will never come back now that you’ve given them the chance to leave.}
The drums of war beat in Xianle, and Shen Yuan joined the fray again.
Shen Yuan still felt deep shame for leaving Xie Lian when he had needed him the most, and thus could not bear to face him. He instead decided it would be better to help him anonymously. Though he’d lived as a scholar, he still knew the tactics of war and how to fight. Resolved to help, he lay down his brush, in favor of wielding a sword.
The battlefield quickly became a blood bath whenever Shen Yuan entered. He was a one-man army, able to kill thousands without a single touch, using his control of water to manipulate the fluids in their bodies to deliver death with a graceful wave of his hand. He might not have the same spiritual energy as he once had, but it was still more than enough to dance through the writhing mass of the battlefield, sword whirling in one hand, his other conducting a grisly symphony of death. He’d once delighted in his control over water, creating delicate and beautiful constructs and bringing life and hope to people. Now, he was no more than a butcher.
Protect my important people. Try not to die.
Shen Yuan’s actions were never going to remain under the radar. To completely demolish a battlefield was far too obvious, and word eventually reached Xie Lian of the Bloody Tempest. Shen Yuan was standing near a mountain of fallen soldiers, performing a ritual to release their souls into the cycle of reincarnation when Xie Lian finally found him.
“Water Master Wudu…?” Xie Lian’s voice sounded one part hopeful, two parts full of disbelief.
Shen Yuan stiffened at the sound of Xie Lian’s voice, giving a resigned sigh, knowing it was time for him to finally Xie Lian, despite his shame. He forced himself to meet Xie Lian’s eyes, voice quiet and resolute, “I am the Water Tyrant. Even though I am not a good person, once I start something, I will see it through to the end. In this war, I will fully aid you.”
He tried not to think of all the people he had slaughtered, for that was the kindest word to describe what he had done. However, if he demolished Ling Ying’s forces, even with his king aura, Ling Ying would become useless, thus helping save Xie Lian from falling.
Protect my important people. Try not to die.
Shen Yuan and Xie Lian fought on.
Weeks passed, and hope was beginning to rise in Shen Yuan. They were winning battle after battle, and it seemed that they might be able to see an end to the war.
However, that hope was crushed to dust when Bai Wuxiang finally appeared.
Shen Yuan’s heart dropped when he saw that half-laughing half-crying mask, the pureness of Bai Wuxiang’s white robes almost obscene in the blood and muck of the battlefield. He’d always known that he would have to pit himself against Bai Wuxiang’s might personally, but that knowledge didn’t make the actuality of the situation any less frightening.
However, he won’t—can’t back down now. Shen Yuan plowed through the hordes on the battlefield, his destination simple. Focused only on that hateful mask, Shen Yuan began his assault as soon as he was within range to attack with spiritual energy. At this distance, he could still easily evade any of Bai Wuxiang’s physical attacks. As the number one elemental god, he easily used his control over the water molecules within the ghost king’s body to destroy him from the inside-out. The two locked into a high-stakes dance, Shen Yuan wheeling out of the way of each flash of steel, and then swirling back with a devastating attack of spiritual energy. There was a reason after all, why the original Shi Wudu had to die. In the battle between spiritual energy and martial might, it was difficult to determine who would win if it was done right.
“Water Master,” Bai Wuxiang’s voice cut through the din of battle, dark and chilling.
Shen Yuan nearly faltered from shock, before firming his mouth, hurling another attack towards the other man.
Bai Wuxiang’s arm explodes, but he just laughs, lunging for Shen Yuan, sword extended in a vicious riposte. “Such fire for someone who controls water!” His voice chills, no trace of laughter present, “Such defiance that is misplaced and utterly useless. Such arrogance to think you have the ability to change another’s fate.”
“Water Master!” Xie Lian’s cry sends a wave of relief through Shen Yuan, nearly staggering him. He sends a nod Xie Lian’s way as he ferociously attacks Bai Wuxiang. With both of them working together, they were able to drive Bai Wuxiang away—at least temporarily.
I Told You That You Wouldn’t Win.
Of course, good things never last. In the middle of yet another battle, Shen Yuan suddenly felt his spiritual energy almost completely deplete. He bit his lip as he realized that Shi Qingxuan must have been training like crazy for Shen Yuan to reach this point so quickly. He squared his shoulders as he continued to struggle forward, choosing to fight physically instead of using his spiritual energy.
Near the end of the battle, Bai Wuxiang appeared, because this was just Shen Yuan’s life now. It was the worst possible timing for Shen Yuan to face him alone. Running on adrenaline, fear dulling his mind, he makes a mistake.
Shen Yuan charges forward, all the remaining spiritual energy he has to muster focused towards creating spears of water, aimed directly at Bai Wuxiang, intent on obliterating all trace of him. The water spears launch towards Bai Wuxiang, and then—before Shen Yuan’s despairing eyes, disintegrate without a trace—his spiritual energy vanishing with barely a whimper.
The pure joy in Bai Wuxiang’s voice when Shen Yuan’s powers failed would forever haunt him.
Bai Wuxiang slowly prowled towards him, cooing, “Oh, just look at you. You were trying so hard just to keep going weren’t you?” Shen Yuan stumbled back a step. All of his senses were screaming at him to retreat. He couldn’t do this. He needed to get away. To run.
In the end, it did him no good. The single step he’d taken was all Bai Wuxiang let him have.
*Whoomph*
Shen Yuan’s breath left his body, as Bai Wuxiang appeared before him in an instant, knocking his breath out with a powerful blow to his abdomen. He folded limply over the ghost king’s arm, gasping for air. Shushing him in a parody of affection, Bai Wuxiang rearranged his body until he was encircled in the other man’s arms, one arm slowly stroking up and down his back. Bai Wuxiang reached his hand out, lifting Shen Yuan’s chin to stare into his reddened eyes.
“Trying to run away from me? That’s not very brave of our Water Tyrant is it?”
Trying to suppress his panic, Shen Yuan snapped “Let--go!”
Bai Wuxiang chuckled, passing his thumb over Shen Yuan’s lips, “Oh little tyrant. I don’t think I want to just yet-- It’s gotten so interesting,” his voice dropped, “Seeing your desperate and useless struggles.”
Like a trapped animal, Shen Yuan exploded into action. He knew that he was no match against Bai Wuxiang without his spiritual powers, but he still fought. Wrenching out the other’s hold, he aimed a kick at Bai Wuxiang’s ribs, his leg easily getting deflected. Undaunted, he dropped, trying to take out the other man’s legs, but ended up having to flip away from a vicious axe kick that cracked the ground where he had just been.
They exchanged a flurry of blows, Shen Yuan just trying to get enough room to try to flee—he didn’t have to make a heroic stand here—they could regroup and figure out another plan. His eyes narrowed as he saw enough of a gap in Bai Wuxiang’s casual and unconcerned defense to press forward, slamming his fist against the half smiling half crying mask with a snarl. A small crack appeared, making the smile even more grotesque. He turned, ready to flee—
Shen Yuan cried out as Bai Wuxiang kicked out his legs from under him, wheezing in agony as he was kicked repeatedly in the ribs. He lay there trembling, swallowing down blood and breathing out the pain, red splattering the ground in front of him.
“Little tyrant, did you really think you ever stood a chance?” He felt Bai Wuxiang grabbing his right arm, lifting his limp body up with it.
“Without your arm, you won’t be able to make those hand arrays you love so much. What a shame.”
“No-- It’s--” Shen Yuan was gasping. He couldn’t get enough air.
“Shh, shh. You only have yourself to blame. You should have known better than to get involved.” Bai Wuxiang’s thumb caressed Shen Yuan’s captured wrist. “Don’t worry, I’ll be sure to teach you well.”
In the distance, Xie Lian was sprinting towards them, but Shen Yuan knew he wouldn’t make it in time. When Bai Wuxiang laughed as he saw Xie Lian running their way. He patiently waited as Xie Lian got close enough, making eye contact with him as he crushed Shen Yuan’s arm.
“NO! WATER MASTER!” Xie Lian screamed.
{Once again you are absolutely useless.}
Shen Yuan had known that even if he got involved, he’d be useless—that he could only hope to hold Bai Wuxiang off, but would never be able to defeat him. Even so, there was a part of him that desperately wanted to be able to win against Bai Wuxiang and save Xie Lian from the incoming pain.
Of course he was unable to do so. Like always, he was weak and useless.
What other outcome did he even expect?
In the end, Xie Lian and Shen Yuan were both cuffed and banished.
The Bankrupt God and The God of Misfortune.
When they were forced to sell their belongings to make ends meet, everyone looked at Shen Yuan. He had the title of God of Wealth after all, but in truth, he wasn’t wealthy. All of his wealth had been poured into his brother’s treatment and well-being, making him basically penniless. When they all heard that he was in fact not the God of Wealth but the God of Bankruptcy, they were all disappointed. Although it was true that Shen Yuan was broke after he was banished, he was somehow still earning merits, meaning he could at least contribute in that way.
Mu Qing, Xie Lian, and Feng Xin were a tight trio. When Shen Yuan tried to live with them, he couldn’t help but feel like an outsider. The feeling of being unwanted continued to grow, especially since he wasn’t able to help out in the same ways as the others due to his crippled arm. Although nothing was ideal, everything seemed stable for the moment, so Shen Yuan decided to leave the group for a bit to investigate the mystery of his still incoming merits.
Shen Yuan surreptitiously asked around about why the Water Tyrant was still being worshipped. To his surprise and increasing dismay, while no one was praying to the Water Tyrant exclusively anymore, he was now being worshipped alongside the Wind Master. He felt like spitting blood at the thought of people participating in such an idiotic act.
{If He Xuan sees that he is being worshipped along with a fallen god, he would be furious. Who knows how much of a living hell he would make your life into?}
Cold sweat broke out down his back. He couldn’t allow himself to be worshipped alongside He Xuan. Shen Yuan could already imagine the pure disgust on He Xuan’s face if he noticed that his worshippers were doing such a thing. In order to save his skin, Shen Yuan was going to try to remedy the situation.
That night, Shen Yuan snuck into the Wind Master Temple. He nearly vomited blood when he saw a pair of beautifully crafted statues of him and He Xuan standing close together. He immediately began to yank his statue away from the other, and with extreme struggle, managed to drag the heavy statue out onto the streets, and more importantly, away from the Wind Master’s Temple.
{Look at how far you have fallen. Where is your grace?}
Looking at his carved visage, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of shame when he compared his current state with the statue’s elegant mien. He was no longer anywhere near graceful or elegant. Instead, he was a crippled and fallen god. He hastily buried the statue, kicking leaves over the loose soil. He couldn’t stand looking at the statue for another second, not wanting a reminder of what he had lost and would continue to lose.
The next day, Shen Yuan went back to the temple, and his eyes nearly popped out at seeing the statue returned to its original location. It was even nicely chained to the dais. Shen Yuan immediately snuck in that night, breaking the chains and removing the statue yet again. This time, he even left a note, ‘Please don’t put the Water Master and the Wind Master together. They should not be worshipped together.’
In a way, Shen Yuan was successful in removing that statue, for the very next day, the temple was remade and renovated. Rather than replacing his old statue, it held two new statues of the Water Master and the Wind Master. These statues were carved directly into the temple, and were also carved TOUCHING one another. There was no way he’d be able to remove his statute without damaging both the temple and the Wind Master’s statue. Shen Yuan was absolutely speechless at the worshippers' stubbornness, and could only admit defeat, hoping that He Xuan wouldn’t come after him for his own worshippers’ pig-headedness.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
As he tried to look for work, Shen Yuan was approached by a brothel mistress and was offered a job. While some may consider it shameful, what was shame in the face of disaster? At the very least, he could hear her out. After talking to the mistress, they came to a compromise. Though he was unwilling to sell his body, he was willing to sell his other artistic skills. As a former Qing Peak lord, he was more than capable of dancing as well as playing instruments, despite not having full use of one of his arms.
The pay was not as high as he could have made if he sold his body, but it was still a steady source of income. Others may look at him in disgust, but he told himself that he was at the very least honestly using his skills to get money. There was nothing shameful in trying to get money so that he and others could live. He could keenly empathize with all other people who’d also been forced into similar situations. In a certain way, he was at least lucky to be able to dictate his clients and work. Sure, he had to deal with the occasionally handsy customer, but it was really nothing in the grand scheme of things.
{If only your brother and friends could see you now. They would be absolutely disgusted.}
Shen Yuan now knew how to effectively tune out the Venerable of Empty Words. With a practiced air, he grabbed his knife, slowly cutting down his wrist. The pain from the wound, and watching the blood drip almost hypnotically out of his arm, really helped shut out unwanted thoughts
[System is extremely ashamed to be stuck with a Host that consistently makes terrible decisions and actions.]
When he was done, he would wrap up his wounds, squeezing them tightly whenever those voices came again. He gratefully embraced the pain that gave him relief from the two leeches. As long as he was in too much pain to pay attention to those poisonous words, he could at least pretend to be fine for a little bit.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
On bad days, one felt more optional than the other.
Shen Yuan couldn’t stand living like a vagrant, and with his crippled arm, it was already a miracle that he managed to even play and dance for the perverted customers. There were really no better options for him to even contribute to the group from Xianle. He couldn’t do any heavy lifting nor do any street performances like the Xianle trio.
He hated Jun Wu for causing him to fall so low, but honestly, Shen Yuan hated himself the most. He disliked being stared at, hating the feeling of people touching him. He might not be selling his body sexually, but the occasional customer would overstep their bounds, pawing at him with lecherous hands. Unfortunately, to keep their patronage, all he could do was give a strained smile as he tried to subtly avoid their hands.
Unfortunately, his brothel income was still not quite enough to make ends meet. In an effort to make more money, Shen Yuan decided to tell stories as well in the village’s main square. Unfortunately, his most popular story was the Resentment of Chunsan. He hated telling the porno story that some shameless pervert had made of him and his disciple, every word a struggle, as he forced the flush out of his ears and neck, trying to keep his voice engaging and not tense.
He honestly had no idea why that story was so popular since it was literally just pa pa pa everywhere and every day. However, more people kept coming to listen to the story, and if it made money, then what Shen Yuan was supposed to do? The choice was simple in this case. Lose your face for easy money.
His life continued in that vein for some time, keeping afloat, until one night, one of his bolder customers got tremendously drunk, and decided to grab him, hands moving to tug at his robes. Anger quickly overrode the shock of the moment, and Shen Yuan immediately moved to strike at his soon-to-be ex-customer in the balls. However, his knee met only air when the customer got violently thrown out the room, and another body appeared in front of him, shielding him from sight.
Shen Yuan was about to thank the person, until he saw the face of his supposed savior. The words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat as he stared into He Xuan’s eyes.
{He is going to tell everyone. Everyone will know how disgusting you are.}
He Xuan’s eyes were dark and intense, searching his face, before he gently took Shen Yuan’s hand, leading him out of the brothel. The entire time, He Xuan had not stopped staring at him—like if he took his eyes off of the other, Shen Yuan would immediately vanish. As they left the warmth of the brothel, Shen Yuan shivered from the sudden drop in temperature. Seeing this, He Xuan immediately took off his outer robe and wrapped it around him tightly, before taking his hand again, tugging Shen Yuan even closer to him. Shen Yuan docilely let He Xuan do as he pleased, his mind in chaos from the situation.
They walked hand in hand down the cold and dimly lit roads, passing by the last stragglers stumbling out of the various restaurants and drinking establishments, the cheery noise a stark contrast to the almost palpable silence between the two.
Arriving at a very familiar Wind Master temple, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but flush as he remembered his attempts to get rid of his statue before He Xuan noticed. It seemed that it was all useless now, but He Xuan didn’t even seem to care that their statues were together, instead immediately collecting money, food, and other offerings into a bundle before thrusting it at Shen Yuan.
“I’ve always been searching for you, but it was as if you were the mist, vanishing as soon as I tried to grasp it. Seeing you in the brothel…” He Xuan closed his eyes, as he clenched his jaw. “At first I thought it couldn’t be true. That, there was no way you would be in such a shameful position--You--I--” Breathing in deeply, he whispered “You are worth so much more than that.”
{He is lying to you. He will go back and tell everyone how you are a dirty slut.}
Shen Yuan nearly scoffed in his face. What did He Xuan even know? He must have a hole in his brain. How was Shen Yuan anything but a disgrace—a piece of shameful trash with his crippled arm and cursed cuff? He wanted to ask what He Xuan was thinking, but couldn’t even bring himself to voice the question. Instead, Shen Yuan drew himself to his full height, coldly stating, “Thank you, but I don’t need your pity nor your help.”
He firmly pushed the package away with his good arm, slowly backing away from He Xuan. He wanted nothing to do with this person—the person who he saw in the worst of his nightmares. Even worse, he hadn’t wanted anyone to know what had happened to him. His shamelessness, his ruin, he’d never wanted known, simply wanting to disappear, leaving only the memory of his facade of the strong and proud Water Tyrant.
{He will tell everyone what he saw and invite everyone to watch you like the clown you are.}
“Why are you doing this?” Shen Yuan demanded, trying to decipher the look in He Xuan’s eyes, filled with some emotion he couldn’t name, wondering what He Xuan’s intention was with this show of charitable pity. He Xuan approached Shen Yuan, as if afraid of spooking him, before gently yet firmly pushing the bundle back into his arms.
“Every Wind Temple is also a Water Temple. You are always welcome to take what you need from the temples at any time. Whatever you need will be there for you.”
{He is lying to you. He is taunting you. He doesn’t care for you.}
Shen Yuan, gripping his wrist tightly, feeling the cuts ooze blood, could only agree in the face of He Xuan’s persistence. His eyes darted to the side as he gave a tight-lipped smile, “Many thanks to the Wind Master for his boundless generosity.”
I’m Sorry I Was Late.
After finally escaping from his unfortuitous encounter with He Xuan, Shen Yuan was making his way back to Xie Lian’s hut. He’d just passed a pit when he heard someone cursing.
“GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!”
He froze. Heknew that voice. Turning towards the pit, his suspicions were confirmed, when he saw that the person in the pit was none other than Xie Lian.
{Awww. Trying to play hero again, despite failing every single time?}
“Dianxia?” Shen Yuan called out tentatively.
“Water Master?” Xie Lian snapped out of his anger. “I can’t get out.”
“Okay. Okay. Wait a bit, let me help.” Shen Yuan gently set down the care package he’d received, taking out a long ribbon. He tied the ribbon around a nearby tree, before looping it around his crippled arm. Tugging it a little to make sure it was secure, he carefully stretched his body, using his good arm to reach out to Xie Lian, while ignoring the screaming agony from his broken arm.
{You are going to cause more trouble than help.}
It took a lot of time, effort, and swearing, but they finally managed to pull Xie Lian out of the pit.
Just as Shen Yuan was about to use his teeth to untie the ribbon, the fingers on his broken arm too clumsy with pain to work properly, Xie Lian reached over and untied it for him. Glancing at Xie Lian to thank him, Shen Yuan saw the flickering light of a ghost fire in the corner of his eye. Shen Yuan's body froze as he pointed at the flame. It couldn’t be Hua Cheng, could it? He wanted to bang his head against the tree. Did he seriously butt into a romantic moment between the main lead and the protagonist?
“It is probably an unrestful soldier’s soul. I don’t know why he started to follow me.” Xie Lian answered in response to Shen Yuan’s unspoken question. Xie Lian started to lightly tremble, the sweat from exertion chilling in the cold night air.
Pulling Xie Lian over to the care package, Shen Yuan grabbed a blanket, wrapping it around the shorter man.
He’d already ruined the romantic moment, so he might as well keep going. Besides, Xie Lian needed help, and it would probably be a crime to simply leave the protagonist dangling in the wind like that. Additionally, Hua Cheng was there, and if Hua Cheng saw that he didn’t bother to help, he’d probably be skinned alive or gruesomely tortured in some other way.
Xie Lian swayed a little, his feet unsteady as adrenaline left him. Shen Yuan secured the blanket around Xie Lian, looping his good arm around his shoulders, and slowly dragged him along while clumsily clutching the bundle from He Xuan with his bad arm. They stumbled their way back in silence.
When they reached the house, Shen Yuan immediately noticed something was wrong. The house was in absolute shambles, and while Feng Xin was there to greet them, Mu Qing was missing.
Looking to the side, Shen Yuan saw the queen struggling to wash clothes, he immediately bent down to show her how to properly do it. Unfortunately, this wasn’t the only household task he had to take over. Out of fear of dying from food poisoning (again), he took over cooking duties, with cleaning duties following shortly afterwards, due to the quickly growing health hazard the house was turning into.
{You’re useless. Your food is disgusting, even worse than dog food, and you dare to serve that to them?}
Hearing that familiar voice, Shen Yuan immediately reached down and squeezed his wrist, feeling the blood soaking into his bandages. He was grateful he’d also decided to change his robes to a darker color—harder to see any blood that might leak through.
With the pain muting the Venerable and System at least temporarily, he threw himself into trying to make himself useful to the household. Besides all of the household chores, he also began providing medical care to the sickly king, grateful again to Mu Qingfang for teaching him some basic medical knowledge and skills.
Despite the hopelessness of the initial situation, it seemed that everything was slowly stabilizing and even getting better. Though he was loathe to admit it, He Xuan’s care package really helped them to get back on their feet, and with Shen Yuan’s added income, Feng Xin could at least stop busking, or at least take it a bit easier. Shen Yuan never told anyone how exactly he was earning money, and surprisingly, even Xie Lian ever questioned him, simply happy to have another source of income.
When Shen Yuan returned from work one day, he saw Mu Qing moodily lurking next to the house with a cut across his face.
Shen Yuan immediately headed towards him, “Mu Qing, are you ok? Do you need treatment--”
Before he could even finish speaking, Mu Qing turned on his heel, leaving Shen Yuan staring at his swiftly retreating back.
Shen Yuan frowned, from his memory, this must be the point in the novel where the Xianle trio had gotten into a fight. The robbery case must have happened then. It seemed that his money and help around the household had not been enough to stop Xie Lian from getting desperate. He had to work harder.
{Due to your uselessness, you caused your friend to suffer again. Did you actually think you could help anyone ?}
Shen Yuan frantically squeezed his wrist, but even the residual pain wasn’t enough. He ran to his room and pulled out his knife. With almost ritualistic care, he pressed the blade in, letting the red of his blood paint his pale skin in abstract lines and patterns. He kept cutting until ever so slowly the pain overpowered chaos in his mind, and he only stopped when he felt like he could finally breathe .
He stared at his wounds, simply letting himself be, before shaking himself into action, and binding his wounds. He had to pull himself together. He needed to help Xie Lian.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
His mantra firmly fixed, he walked determinedly to Xie Lian’s room, before knocking. “Dianxia, may I come in?”
The door slowly creaked open as Xie Lian stared at him warily. Shen Yuan knew at this point that Xie Lian desperately needed someone to talk to, but most likely had not, and probably would not ever talk to Feng Xin or his parents about his troubles. Therefore, Shen Yuan was more than happy to listen to Xie Lian’s worries without judgement, to help calm Xie Lian’s fears.
“Water Master Wudu, what brings you here at this hour?”
Shen Yuan smiled gently at Xie Lian, as he replied, “Sometimes it’s nice to be able to talk to someone when it’s this quiet at night. Would you mind keeping me company for a little while?”
Nodding, Xie Lian stepped aside, letting Shen Yuan enter the room. They settled on the floor near the bed. Shen Yuan simply allowed Xie Lian to set the tempo of the conversation. If Xie Lian faltered, Shen Yuan would smoothly interject, talking about anything that was on his mind. In this manner, just as he used to soothe Shi Qingxuan, Shen Yuan helped calm Xie Lian, gently rubbing Xie Lian’s back, or gently combing his fingers through his hair as they let the conversation flow freely. As Xie Lian relaxed even further, Shen Yuan gently hugged him, humming a gentle and soothing melody, allowing Xie Lian to eventually fall into a deep sleep.
{You’re just making things worse.}
Shen Yuan gripped his wrist, feeling the familiar tacky wetness. Taking deep breaths, he walked to the kitchen to cook up some comfort food for Xie Lian.
When Xie Lian woke, there was a bowl of warm soup in front of him. Shen Yuan patiently waited as Xie Lian wolfed down the food, as if he’d been without food for days.
As Xie Lian ate, Shen Yuan began to tell stories to fill the gaping silence. He talked about a hero named Wei Wuxian who fought against the injustice of the world, that despite the world kicking him down, he managed to rise past it. He waxed on about Lan Wangji’s undying loyalty, the faith that bound him to Wei Wuxian as inextricably as physical ties. Shen Yuan talked until his voice grew hoarse, until--
“I tried to rob someone.” Xie Lian’s eyes were downcast, voice nearly a whisper. The confession came as if almost wrenched out of him.
Shen Yuan simply reached over to rub his back gently, “Do you want to talk about it? If you don’t, that’s also fine. We can talk about whatever you want.”
With that tacit consent, the words spilled out of Xie Lian, “I had to do it! I felt that there was no other way! I was desperate, and I know it was wrong, but what choice did I have?” And with that, Xie Lian let himself go, grabbing Shen Yuan in desperate search of comfort. Shen Yuan simply sat there, soothing Xie Lian, as he cried and raged. Even though Shen Yuan knew that Xie Lian likely did not consider him a close friend, at this time, he was someone who was also in a similar position that he could trust. Therefore, the least he could do was be a source of comfort to him.
Protect those important to me. Don’t die.
Why Did You Come Back?
It took a lot longer compared to the novel for Bai Wuxiang to appear but once Xie Lian started to scream, Shen Yuan knew that the ghost king had returned.
Shen Yuan tried to help Xie Lian just like how he’d helped Shi Qingxuan with the Venerable of Empty Words. However, Bai Wuxiang’s relentless torture was too much to overcome—expecially now that he had no spiritual energy to create defensive arrays against the ghost king. It also didn’t help that no one could see Bai Wuxiang, and honestly, if Shen Yuan didn’t know better, and wasn’t also saddled with his very own invisible monster, he’d probably have believed Xie Lian had gone crazy.
{Of course you’d never be able to help Xie Lian.}
Shen Yuan tried to brew some calming tea that he often gave to Shi Qingxuan, but it never worked. Bai Wuxiang was simply too good at mind games.
{You fail at whatever you do.}
He gave Xie Lian the medicine he’d given to Shi Qingxuan, and while it worked, it was expensive and hard to obtain. They both knew this, and even though Shen Yuan was planning to try to work harder to afford the medicine, Xie Lian refused his help.
{You can never do anything right.}
Shen Yuan was standing in the Water Palace, Shi Qingxuan gleefully laughing, arms wild as he recounted some story about his day. He could feel himself smiling back, leaning into Binghe’s arm, as he blissfully drank the tea that Binghe had so thoughtfully prepared.
...Binghe..?
Looking to the side, he saw Liu Qingge glaring ferociously at a smug-looking Pei Ming, Xie Lian waving his hands in a placating manner trying to defuse whatever argument was brewing. While Ling Wen seemed to be… taking bets from a nearby Shang Qinghua? Sighing in happiness, he closed his eyes…
...How was this possible…?
His body pitched to the side, tea cup shattering on the ground. He stared up, wide eyes meeting Binghe’s disgusted sneer. “How could Shizun dare think he could touch this person with his filthy hands?”
“Wha? Binghe--”
Shi Qingxuan chimed in over Shen Yuan’s stuttering, “You’re definitely not the brother I know! I hated how you always treated me like a burden! You made me suffer for so long because you were too weak to help me.”
“No--Qingxuan--I--”
“Dishonorable,” Liu Qingge, always to the point, glared at him.
Pei Ming shook his head, “You fell so far. How could I ever have thought to be friends with you? You sullied yourself to work at a brothel, but you can’t even do that right.”
“I should have realized you weren’t the real Water Master when you couldn’t even help me with my problems.” Ling Wen’s dispassionate gaze hurt more than any glare she could have mustered.
“Bro, I thought you managed to mess my novel up, but man you really screwed it all up here.” Shang Qinghua’s horror-filled tone made him want to curl into himself and disappear.
“No--no--I tried, I really did, but--” Shen Yuan tried to explain himself, but every single person turned their back on him, slowly fading away, “Please, I can explain--”
Shen Yuan opened his eyes.
He shook and trembled, hating himself, hating his uselessness, feeling disgusting in his own skin. He clawed at his wounds, ripping them further open, needing the pain, needing to breathe. His trembling would finally slow as he would stare at the shadows on his wall, finally disappearing as the sun rose, and he fell into a dreamless sleep.
When he finally woke up, it was to the sound of a loud argument between Feng Xin and Xie Lian. Struggling out of the bed, he haphazardly wrapped his wounds, hurriedly pulling on his robes. However, by the time he reached the doorway, Xie Lian was already gone.
“What is going on?”
Feng Xin looked guilty, “His Highness ran away. I don’t know where he plans on going.”
{Once again you are too late.}
“Stay here, I will go find him.” Shen Yuan immediately ran out, searching all the possible Crown Prince temples. His heart was in his throat, knowing that this was it. This was the set up for Xie Lian’s fall into darkness—for him to lose his way. Shen Yuan ran until his legs ached and lungs burned.
He had to stop it. This event was the trigger point for when Xie Lian really started to lose himself and his ideals. He was going to be stabbed by a hundred people, wishing for death that would not be granted. But where was the temple? Shen Yuan racked his brain, until he remembered-- The mountains. He immediately ran in that direction, praying he’d get there in time.
{You won’t make it.}
[Host is not allowed to interfere. Interference with this plot point will induce a deduction of 100 B points.]
Reaching the mountain, Shen Yuan knew he’d reached the right place, the woods filled with victims of the human face disease. He tried to run past them, but they all converged, almost mindlessly attacking him. With no other choice, Shen Yuan pulled his fan out as he dove into the claustrophobic press of bodies. He gave himself into the rhythm of the fight, continuing forward to find Xie Lian.
Can I make it in time?
It took hours for him to fight through the mob, and by the time he entered the temple, his heart sank to his stomach. Xie Lian was already being stabbed, writhing on the bloody altar, Bai Wuxiang standing triumphantly to the side, a ball of ghost fire in his palm.
Too late. Too late. Always too late.
[-100 B points]
“Let them go,” Shen Yuan snarled at Bai Wuxiang. The monster only laughed, “What will you do little tyrant? Will you fight and take them yourself?”
Shen Yuan doesn’t hesitate—there’s no time. He launches himself at Bai Wuxiang, despite knowing he had no chance at all. With no spiritual energy and a crippled arm, what can he even do? However, he needs to do something to protect Xie Lian. With a mocking laugh, Bai Wuxiang blocks his first blow, swiftly counter attacking with a foot to his ribs, causing him to skid backwards and fall to his side.
“Come now little tyrant,” Bai Wuxiang walks a little closer, prodding him with his toe, “Can’t you do better than that?”
Shen Yuan grit his teeth, forcing himself up. His ribs throb viciously, the kick had stolen the breath from his lungs.
Pathetic pathetic pathetic
Shen Yuan narrows his eyes. He can do this. He breathes deeply, remembering long ago training sessions with Liu Qingge.
Evasive like wind. Unyielding like earth. Enveloping like fire. Fluid like water. Liu Qingge’s voice echoes in his ears as he murmurs to himself.
Fluid like water.
He faces Bai Wuxiang again, striking at his head. The other man moved to block, but Shen Yuan’s first blow was only a feint, dropping quickly to sweep at his feet. Bai Wuxiang easily jumps, swinging his own foot out at Shen Yuan’s head, but he’s ready for it, flipping back as he uses his one good arm to brace his hand on the ground, spinning to twist his body away from the blow.
He has to protect Xie Lian. He will protect Xie Lian.
Shen Yuan presses forward, determination running hot in his veins, he ducks under Bai Wuxiang’s arm, twisting his body around, to kick him with a reverse crescent kick. Bai Wuxiang is forced to move back, but Shen Yuan doesn’t let up, using the momentum of the kick to allow him to slip into Bai Wuxiang’s guard, striking directly at his head. He sees Bai Wuxiang try to dodge backward, but it won’t be enough—and then—Bai Wuxiang catches his punch, swinging his other fist around to connect solidly with the side of Shen Yuan’s head.
Shen Yuan is staggering, vision spotting as bile rises in his throat. Despite the pain, despite the nausea, Shen Yuan smiles.
Because. To be able to hit Shen Yuan, Bai Wuxiang had to let go of Hua Cheng, who immediately flew to Xie Lian, shielding him from another attack. He had never fought with the intention of beating Bai Wuxiang. He just needed him to release Hua Cheng.
Unfortunately, his moment of victory is short lived.
Bai Wuxiang is in front of him, inevitable as time, and Shen Yuan is falling—falling—down.
“Yes, you helped that weak ghost to get away. Such a clever little tyrant.” Bai Wuxiang hissed, “So noble of you… So stupid.”
Shen Yuan stared up as Bai Wuxiang slowly stepped closer, crouching in front of his fallen form. He knew that things were not looking good for him. He’d ruined Bai Wuxiang’s plan, how could he be let off easily? However, if he could redirect that anger to him, then—
He spits at Bai Wuxiang’s mask, ignoring the voice screaming in his head to just run—to not make things worse—and then—
Shen Yuan’s vision goes spotty, blood spattering from his mouth as Bai Wuxiang backhands him, gripping his hair in one hand. Bai Wuxiang’s mask loomed closer, his voice like a nightmare, “You are so stubborn, railing against the inevitable.”
“However,” His hand moves down Shen Yuan’s body. “You seem clever. Able to learn with the right… incentives.” On that word, Bai Wuxiang’s hand stopped on Shen Yuan’s thigh, crushing the bones mercilessly.
“HnnnnnnGH!!” Shen Yuan clenched his jaw, desperately trying not to scream in pain—to feed Bai Wuxiang’s pleasure in his suffering.
“Tell me little tyrant, how far will you go? Are you willing to even share another’s fate?” Bai Wuxiang’s hand tightens on Shen Yuan’s leg, grinding the already shattered bones.
Shen Yuan gasps, little high pitched pants—like smothered screams, before his eyes focus on Bai Wuxiang, gritting out, “I’ll do it.” He doesn’t want to do it, he really doesn’t want to do it, but he knows he must. If only to do something useful for Xie Lian—
Bai Wuxiang tsks, taking Shen Yuan’s fan from his belt, as he transforms it into a sword with a nonchalant wave, handing it to a trembling man. There are others already lined up, looking at Shen Yuan as if he’s the key to their salvation.
Shen Yuan looks away, not wanting to give Bai Wuxiang the satisfaction of seeing the despair that is welling in his chest.
“Oh, my little tyrant, aren’t you tired of fighting back so fruitlessly?”
Bai Wuxiang forces Shen Yuan’s face up, and when he meets the monster’s gaze, he sees that Bai Wuxiang’s eyes are filled with something ponderous, seething, and hungry . A horrific sense of recognition hits Shen Yuan, panic crawling down his spine and clawing his heart.
He knows that look on Bai Wuxiang’s face.
He’s seen it on the face of some of his more insistent customers, and he wants nothing to do with it.
He struggles to tamp down his nausea, forcing himself to sneer and snap, “I’m not your anything.”
“Oh?” Bai Wuxiang sounds half amused, half indulgent, leaning down even closer. “You simply don’t know any better. Don’t worry, I will teach you the truth of your existence.”
Shen Yuan can’t control his breaths anymore, trying to scramble backward, but his efforts are laughable, Bai Wuxiang dragging him into his lap like he was nothing more than a recalcitrant kitten.
“Shh, shh, relax,” Bai Wuxiang pets the side of his head, “I want to be sure you’re aware of every thrust—everytime your body is entered. I want you to feel it.”
The whites are visible around Shen Yuan’s irises, he’s shaking his head, voice escaping despite his best efforts, because somehow, this is so much worse than the thought of being stabbed, “Don’t touch--,”
Bai Wuxiang laughs, “Oh, my little tyrant, don’t struggle, come on, deep breaths. You can do it.”
Shen Yuan can feel the cold of Bai Wuxiang’s mask pressed against his neck, he has enough time to see the sword coming, enough time to take one breath, to maybe scream no, and then—
Pain.
Stabbing, burning agony.
His hands frantically scrabble at Bai Wuxiang’s grip, but he doesn’t move an inch.
He can’t breathe.
He feels blood gurgling up in his throat, can taste that familiar coppery flavor as he wheezes for breath.
Panic hits him hard, fights side by side with agony to take him over, and before one wins, the next person comes forward to stab him.
Please let it end Please let it end Please let it end Please let it end Please let it end
It continues.
Going in and out of lucidity, Bai Wuxiang whispering into his ear, hands somehow even more violating than the sword, Shen Yuan thought a little hysterically that at least he’d been able to halve Xie Lian’s pain. And maybe, just maybe, Xie Lian won’t fall into as deep of a despair. Maybe he won’t go deeper into darkness. Clinging to this thought, Shen Yuan’s world explodes into white-hot and exquisite pain, and then he knows nothing at all.
Waking is hell.
Shen Yuan comes to gasping, body wracked in agony, hurting down to his very soul .
He tries to move, but he can’t, his body still too tattered to even sit up.
He’s gasping and choking on the familiar taste of blood, and wants to call out for someone—anyone to help. But not a single name passes through his lips. There is no one he can call to help him—who would help him.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die.
I Can’t Stand It Anymore.
Although Xie Lian hadn’t done anything yet, Shen Yuan knew that he had indeed changed for the worse. Shen Yuan felt empty. It seemed that no matter what he did, he really was useless—that he really couldn’t change anything. He was nearly drowning from the constant barrages of the System and the Venerable, and he’d now lost even the solace his previous cutting gave him. After all, after getting stabbed multiple times in fatal areas, that sort of pain barely even registered to him.
In addition to not even being able to help Xie Lian avoid falling to darkness, Shen Yuan couldn’t even help bring in income as he once could. Because he could only play instruments at the brothel, due to his crippled leg not allowing him to dance, he was getting paid even less. It truly seemed that no matter what Shen Yuan did, he somehow always ended up producing the worst possible outcome.
The sound of footsteps suddenly behind him, snapped him out of his thoughts. When Shen Yuan turned around, he froze, unable to move a muscle, as he stared up into Bai Wuxiang’s implacable mask.
“Little tyrant, oh little tyrant, did you really think that I would let you go with just that? After all, what sort of master would I be if I didn’t teach you properly? Actually, I’m curious. How has your teaching at Qing Jing Temple been going lately?”
The moment Bai Wuxiang said ‘Qing Jing temple.’ Shen Yuan felt his heart turn to ice. Free from his momentary paralysis, Shen Yuan started to run, dragging his lame leg behind him, desperately pushing people out of the way in hopes of getting to the temple faster. His objectives pounding familiarly in his mind.
Protect those important to me. Try not to die. Protect those important to me. Protect--
The temple was completely burned to the ground, smoke still rising from the ashes.
He staggered. This was a lie. The kids-- His kids-- They had to have escaped--gotten out. There must be survivors-- He had to find them. He tore across the courtyard-- Ning loved playing ball underneath that tree-- His footsteps echoed like gunshots as he passed a destroyed swing-- Lazily using his Qi to push a laughing Kong Hou higher -- The kitchens lay smoking-- Cheng Yi and Tan Feng trying to sneak snacks out -- He stopped in front of the demolished sleeping quarters.
There had to be someone left. He claws through the rubble, uncaring of how his hands blister from the residual heat, nails cracking as he begs for someone--anyone to still be alive.
Please.
I’ll give anything so please.
I just want to save at least one.
Shen Yuan keeps going, memories coming to him unbidden, fueling his search. Wang Tong had still been scared of the dark, so he’d given the boy a quartz crystal carved with a light array so he’d never be without light-- He stepped on something hard. He looked down to see a shattered crystal covered in soot.
No, no, no, no, no
He feels arms pulling him back from the ruins. Already defeated, he doesn’t fight them, eyes fixed on the broken crystal. The villagers that had been milling around the temple entrance had managed to follow him in. With pity-filled eyes, they tell him what transpired. Apparently, the temple had caught on fire in the middle of the night. The villagers had tried to get inside the temple grounds to save the children, but they had been repelled from the temple walls, unable to get close. The fire eventually burned out, but not a single soul had been able to escape from the temple grounds.
He says something to the villagers, not even knowing or caring what it was, but it’s thankfully enough to get them to leave him alone. The villagers back away, shooting him anxious looks, whispering amongst themselves. He doesn’t care.
Oh god. What had he done? The children... His children had been burned alive and he’d been unable to do anything. They’d burned because of him. Their last moments had been filled with pain and fear and there wasn’t anything left to even bury--
{You only bring harm to others. You are the reason why everyone is hurting.}
[System told Host not to get involved with Xie Lian, but Host refused. Host only has himself to blame.]
{Don’t you feel bad for the poor children who burned alive? They were probably in pain for a long time. Screaming for you to help them. But you left them to burn.}
Shen Yuan falls to his knees, curling over the ruined ground and digging his fingers into the ground until they bled. He felt nothing as he slowly dragged himself back to the Shi brother’s home. Hollow-eyed and swaying, he stumbles through the door of the empty house, staring blankly at the wall. He looks down at the fan he’s been clenching in his hand, and then he just snaps .
He grabs everything in sight, destroying and smashing, unable to stop himself as he tears around the house, finally hurling his fan to the ground, snapping it in two.
Shen Yuan pants as he stands there, in the middle of the destruction, before starting to laugh as tears streamed down his face. He’d always known that he couldn’t change anything but he still tried. He tried so hard and now he is living with the consequences. His actions were useless because he was too stupid and weak to do anything, and he’d ended up making things worse.
Stubbornness or pride or fear, Shen Yuan didn’t know why he’d kept going, but he had clung to his belief with gritted teeth. Now, he had nothing. No beliefs or goals left. His determination had always had an end date when pitted up against Jun Wu’s will wearing him down. Shen Yuan didn’t know which of them he should hate more. Jun Wu for the horrors he’s committed, or himself for not being strong enough to withstand it. For making whatever he touched worse.
Honestly, he knew the answer.
He’d tried to help, but he ended up making things worse. He hated himself. He was pathetic, a brothel worker that couldn’t even properly sell his skills, and a porn monger. He had been spoiled with chances and opportunities all his life, but he’d squandered them all only to end up like this.
Shen Yuan curled into a ball as he buried his face in his hands, sobbing as if his heart was breaking. He couldn’t breathe, he needed to just stop feeling, he needed--
For someone, anyone to be able to tell him it wasn’t his fault. For someone else to be able to speak up against his own doubts, the System, and the Venerable of Empty Words, to try to help him carry the guilt and anguish that was overwhelming his body.
He didn’t need forgiveness, but he wanted someone to understand. Just one person to choose him over some idealized version of him.
But then, Shen Yuan never gets what he wants, does he?
He should be used to it by now, but that doesn’t stop the visceral hurt. Shen Yuan is alone, his soul worn down, leaving behind only a writhing mass of hurt and a gaping emptiness.
He is just so, so tired .
He breathes out a long shuddering breath. He knew that there was only ever one way to make it stop.
Searching amongst the wreckage he’d made of the house, he manages to find a dull serrated knife. He stabs into his flesh, sawing at the arm that held his cursed cuff, his movements getting more and more frantic. He wanted it off. It had to come off. Blood gushed from the wound, his bones splintering beneath the force of the knife, but he couldn’t feel the pain. He laughed and laughed until he vomited blood, and then laughed some more.
He had no ambition in life. He’d just wanted to be a nice person with dignity. He often wondered if everything and anything he had done was even worth it.
His lips were curled in a gruesome smile, teeth stained with blood, as he addressed his body’s previous owner, “Shi Wudu, I now know why you chose death instead of humiliation. I’m so sorry it took me this long, but I won’t continue disgracing you. I’ll end it tonight.”
Maybe, he thought hazily to himself, if he’d made different choices, he wouldn’t have ended up like this.
But then again maybe not.
He lifted his jagged and broken fan, the match to his brother’s fan, to his chest, slowly pressing it into his heart. It felt like absolution. It felt like one of the easiest things he’d done in his life.
Shen Yuan would die here in the mortal world, where his life as Shi Wudu began, far from the lights of Heaven that he’d ascended to and fallen from.
He will not be mourned.
Shen Yuan knows this, accepts this, expects it even. Likely no one but Shi Qingxuan will think on his loss for long, and his brother will have plenty of other—better choices to replace Shen Yuan.
There will be no one else willing to mourn Shen Yuan, to mourn a cruel and vicious piece of trash that’s finally been returned to its rightful place.
But Shen Yuan never really thought there would be anyways.
Head tipping back, he closed his eyes, smiling as he felt his heart slow, black closing in around the edges of his vision. Shen Yuan gently drifted away on a current of all-consuming darkness. Feeling complete and utter relief.
Shen Yuan’s blood spilled across the floor as Shi Qingxuan spilled his wine.
The story of the God Who Cut His Own Fate finally ended, giving way to the rise of the Young Lord Who Pours Wine.
Notes:
The words, "The god who cut his own fate." was from https://m.weibo.cn/detail/4355629118592681
(Very nice picture) I feel like that saying really fit SWD. He really took fate in his own hands.I finished this chapter a lot earlier than planned, completely fueled by the lovely comments and with the fact that this chapter's ending was what I looked forward to the most when I first to came up with the story concept. TBH this was the story's ending when I first started writing.
Then I listening to this https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BFmf2PNmz0&list=LL&index=2
I was like who needs school and proceed to type like a mad man.
Since I killed off my own protagonist, I need another one. Any volunteers. XD
He also no longer has two hands. . . *runs*
Chapter 9: I Never Meant To Replace You. I Just Wanted To Be Like You.
Notes:
I don't think I need any warnings for this chapter. (Pleasantly surprised)
Chapter 1 and 2 are changed and fixed by a very nice beta so there are some changes to those chapters. (Highly recommend you re-read those chapters, the changes are nicely done. #feeling-blessed)
Let's all collectively say a thank you. XD
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was like Shi Qingxuan was finally able to see the soft glow at the end of the tunnel. Slowly, ever so slowly, he was emerging into the light on the other side. The Venerable of Empty Words had been banished. The years of torment and suffering at its hands had ended at last. His shoulders felt lighter without the shroud of constant fear the Venerable had cast upon him. Despite his relief, he couldn’t help but feel lingering tendrils of fear in the back of his head that it wasn’t quite over.
It seemed he wasn’t the only one that felt that way. Despite the fact that the Venerable was seemingly gone, his brother still stuffed his hands and qiankun pouch full of defensive talismans and protection amulets before leaving on his missions.
Shi Qingxuan pouted at his brother’s back as he prepared to leave him yet again, whining. “Ge, can’t you just stay with me?”
He only received a terse response. “I can’t. I must do this.” His brother refused to even look in his direction as he continued to quickly pack his supplies for the mission. It seemed as if he didn’t care at all about staying with Shi Qingxuan, and was purely focused on leaving his brother behind.
Shi Qingxuan frowned at his brother’s emotionless response. His brother always had to do something else, but what exactly that something else was, was never told to him. He was simply brushed off and told that Godhood was busy. Shi Qingxuan sulkily scowled harder at his brother’s direction. He only wanted to spend time with his brother—especially now that the shadow of the Venerable was no longer looming over them, but apparently his brother simply didn’t have the time to do so anymore.
His brother seemed to falter a bit, and Shi Qingxuan grinned, thinking that maybe his brother might decide to stay. He flinched as his brother slammed his hands onto the desk, leaning his head down, before bringing his hands up to frustratedly rub at his temples. Shi Qingxuan quailed a little, wondering if his brother was annoyed at his demands, until Shen Yuan let out a deep breath, striding towards him, before gently taking his hands, telling him. “I have to leave. Here are some merits, but if you need more, this is the key to your safe. You don’t have to worry about anything. Just make sure you stay safe and happy.”
With just those words and a soft squeeze of his hands, his brother was gone, leaving Shi Qingxuan behind with an immense amount of riches. He looked down at his hands, tightly gripping the bag of merits his brother gave him. Shi Qingxuan sulkily frowned. If his brother really didn’t want to spend time with him, that was completely fine with him! It wasn’t like he didn’t have anyone else to hang out with.
Shi Qingxuan huffily left the palace to search for his friends. It was fine that his brother wasn’t around. That meant he could completely let loose and drink to his heart’s content. Once he came across some other gods lounging around, he smiled and yelled out, “Everyone! Let’s go and have fun. Drinks are on me!”
The gods immediately cheered his announcement, “As expected of the God of Wealth’s brother!”
“Hey! I have a name. It’s Shi Qingxuan.” Shi Qingxuan pouted. He hated being referred to as just Shi Wudu’s brother. While it wasn’t like he disliked being Shi Wudu’s younger brother, he wanted to be known on his own merits, and not just as someone’s brother.
“Hahaha, let’s go!” The cheers and laughter drowned out Shi Qingxuan’s voice.
Shi Qingxuan brushed away his thoughts. As long as the cheers and laughter continued as the train of gods ran to the mortal world to have fun, it was fine in Shi Qingxuan’s opinion. Right now, it seemed that everyone was pretty stressed out, so it was the perfect time to relax and party. With the merits and the riches his brother had gathered in his hands, he was more than happy to provide the Heavens with a sense of relief.
As the gods all started drinking, the atmosphere got better and better, until everyone including Shi Qingxuan was laughing until their stomachs hurt. All care was thrown into the wind, and it was as if there were no troubles in the world. In Shi Qingxuan’s opinion, this was the perfect way to start and end the day, with endless laughter and smiles.
Unfortunately, the festivities eventually had to end, and once everything was over, Shi Qingxuan was still forced to return to an empty palace. He sighed, staring at his brother’s empty room. Apparently his brother was too busy to even return at night to see him. What was his brother even up to? It felt frustrating to be left out of the loop, but whatever. It was fine with him that he wasn’t told anything! He would just get drunk enough to not care. Just like his brother seemed to not care about including him. Besides, he noted sourly, Upper Court and Middle Court gods were just different.
Shi Qingxuan trudged to his room, slumping at the table. He blearily stared at his wine cup, picking it up with a dejected sigh. To be completely honest, in his heart of hearts, he wished that his brother had never ascended and that they could just stay in that small house together as mortals. Just the two of them and no one else.
After his brother ascended he always had things to do. Why was his brother so busy while everyone else seemed to be either lounging around or playing hide and seek with the Crown Prince Xie Lian? Whenever he asked, they all just gave him funny looks before avoiding the topic altogether.
Shi Qingxuan decided that he didn’t like this. He grabbed for more wine to drown his negative thoughts out. He was going to be drunk and happy.
When he woke up, he was still in an empty palace and his bag was now empty of merits. Shi Qingxuan closed his eyes wearily, slowly willing away the hangover with his spiritual energy.
Once Shi Qingxuan couldn’t feel the hangover anymore, his lips curled up into a smile. He had gotten a lot better at controlling his spiritual energy and if he practiced more, he might even be able to help his brother with his work. Two people working was much better than one, and once they finished, they could hang out and grab a drink.
Grinning and filled with renewed purpose, Shi Qingxuan started his daily training. Unlike before, it came much easier to him, almost as if he naturally had always had talent to cultivate. He noted that he must have been overly stressed by the Venerable of Empty Words. It seemed that once it had disappeared, he could finally concentrate enough to improve his spiritual energy. Shi Qingxuan smiled and thought to himself, once he became stronger and more confident with his spiritual ability, he was going to show it off to his brother. His brother would be so happy and surprised with his progress.
Even If I Can No Longer See You, I Will Always Care For You.
Shi Qingxuan couldn’t stop smiling as his brother gave him a mission. Was he now finally strong enough to help his brother? His heart quickened with excitement. This was the first time his brother had ever asked for his help. HIS help. Shi Qingxuan’s help. He couldn’t believe that a day like this would ever happen.
Shi Qingxuan’s hands tightened around the scroll, clutching it closer to his chest. His brother was finally relying on him, and had trusted him to complete the mission. The complete trust and reliance that his brother had in him, sent him directly to cloud nine.
He was so happy and excited that he didn’t even notice that Shen Yuan had grabbed him until he was surrounded by the soft warmth and scent of his brother’s body. Once he noticed, he melted into his brother’s embrace, hugging him back tightly. Inhaling deeply, he took in the scent of safety and home—his favorite scent.
“Promise Gege that you will stay safe”
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes softened at his brother’s protectiveness and care before his eyes widened. Did his brother just call himself ‘Gege’? He had always referred to himself as ‘I’ when talking to him. When the intimacy that he thought was long gone suddenly came back, Shi Qingxuan’s eyes couldn’t help but begin to water.
Shi Qingxuan tightened his hold and rested his head against his brother’s shoulders. He desperately wished that they could just remain like this forever. If not forever, then this would be fine as well.
To others, the difference between ‘gege’ and ‘I’ might not be that big, but to him, the difference was a world apart. Before they moved, his brother had always been very close to him and would call himself, “gege,” acknowledging their close sibling bond. But after, when he referred to himself in front of him, it became, “I” instead of “gege;” almost as if his brother wanted to create a distance between them. It had terrified him. He didn’t want any distance between them. There couldn’t be a distance between them. He was all Shi Qingxuan had. Shi Qingxuan couldn’t lose him. He couldn’t.
He exclaimed, “Okay, I promise Gege!” Shi Qingxuan internally promised that he would one day be strong enough to support his brother. If not that, he at least promised to not be a burden to his brother.
“Promise Gege that if there is any problem you will go find Pei Ming. Avoid Jun Wu.”
“What? Why--” Shi Qingxuan confusedly looked at his brother’s eyes for some sort of clarification. His brother’s words sounded not only like a goodbye, but wasn't Jun Wu the Heavenly Emperor? Why should he avoid him? Shouldn’t his brother tell him to avoid Pei Ming instead? It didn’t make any sense.
“Just promise Gege.” It almost sounded like his brother was pleading with him. Shi Qingxuan sighed internally. Just like always, he never got an explanation. But as his brother’s arms tightened around him, filling him with warmth, he stupidly agreed without question.
Once his brother heard his answer, he inhaled deeply, pulling away from Shi Qingxuan. As he turned to walk away, Shi Qingsuan was suddenly hit with a feeling of despair much worse than any he had ever felt from the Venerable of Empty Words. His emotions and nerves were going crazy. Something didn’t feel right. Something was terribly wrong, but he didn’t know what it was.
Shi Qingxuan reached out for his brother, wanting to call out to him, but his words wouldn’t leave his mouth. He slowly dropped his hand back to his side as he watched his brother’s back leave his vision. Something was screaming at him to not let his brother out of his sight. Shi Qingxuan ruthlessly tamped down that voice. He shouldn’t be so willful and needy. His brother had finally entrusted him with a mission.
Shi Qingxuan comforted himself. He would complete his mission first, after he successfully completed it, he would ask his brother to eat together and they could have brotherly bonding time. Mind made up, Shi Qingxuan determinedly turned away from the direction his brother had gone, and strode off to complete his mission. He started to smile brightly, thinking of what he wanted to do with his brother as his reward for completing the mission.
A Helping Hand.
Shi Qingxuan glared at the mission scroll with extreme frustration. He had been unable to find the Find Me Not pendant. He had been looking for it for ages, and no matter where he looked or who he asked, it was as if the pendant had disappeared into thin air. Was the pendant itself impossible to find?
Shi Qingxuan stomped all the way to the library. He, unlike his brother, disliked reading, and while his brother loved surrounding himself with books, he would much rather surround himself with friendly people. However, the locals were unable to provide any useful information about the pendant, so he was forced to rely on books.
The Find Me Not pendant can only have one user at a time, and can only be located when it is unused. If unused, it will glow when it senses spiritual energy nearby. To use this pendant, the owner must inject their spiritual energy into it. Once they have done so, the ones that the owner does not wish to see, will be unable to perceive them.
Shi Qingxuan sighed as he dropped his head on the table with a frustrated thunk. He had searched and searched everywhere, but he had found no trace of the pendant. It was extremely frustrating, and he was close to tearing out his hair. Even worse, because he had been so focused on trying to complete his mission, he hadn’t seen his brother since he’d been assigned the mission. Shi Qingxuan pushed himself up to look at the book again, eyes skimming across the page, but he simply couldn’t process the words in front of him.
Just as he was about to close the book in defeat, he heard footsteps coming closer towards him. Shi Qingxuan turned his head to look at the person coming closer. He startled in recognition. The Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu himself was coming towards him.
His brother had told him not to get close to the Heavenly Emperor, but how could he do that when the lord himself came to him? He suddenly remembered that his brother had also told him to find Pei Ming if he encountered any problems. Why was told to find Pei Ming? He was just a stupid general who had tried to take advantage of his brother in their home. Shi Qingxuan rolled his eyes and decided that his brother must have been tired and gotten their names mixed up.
It honestly made a lot more sense now that he thought about it. Find Jun Wu if troubled, and avoid getting close to Pei Ming.
Shi Qingxuan flashed Jun Wu a smile before waving at him. Jun Wu gently returned his smile, and slowly approached him.
“You are the Water Master’s younger brother Shi Qingxuan?”
“Yes, that’s me!” Shi Qingxuan brightened up. He’d been recognized by name by Jun Wu. He knew he’d been making progress!
Jun Wu gently asked him, “Is something wrong? You looked like you were struggling.”
Shi Qingxuan nodded rapidly at Jun Wu’s question. With no hesitation, he launched into the troubles he’d been having trying to locate the Find Me Not pendant. Because he’d been unable to do so on his own, he’d been looking for some help. Basking in Jun Wu’s kind concern, he felt more and more comfortable, even spilling out his personal confusion about his brother’s behavior. Jun Wu never judged him, only smiling gently, while listening to his concerns. He would sometimes even interject at times with advice on what Shi Qingxuan should do.
“You should train hard to become stronger. If you are stronger, then your brother would be able to rely on you more, and you would have the ability to help him. By doing so, you would ease your brother’s troubles.”
Shi Qingxuan slowly nodded, “I do want to get stronger for my brother’s sake. However, though my spiritual energy got stronger recently after dealing with the Venerable of Empty Words, I feel like the speed at which it is increasing is too slow. I want to help him faster.”
Jun Wu smiled wider, as he asked, “How about I train you?”
“Really? Heavenly Emperor is willing?” Shi Qingxuan stared at Jun Wu with stars in his eyes. He couldn’t believe that the Heavenly Emperor himself was willing to help improve Shi Qingxuan’s spiritual energy.
Jun Wu nodded, but then tilted his head consideringly at Shi Qingxuan. “Wouldn’t it be better to keep your training a secret and surprise your brother with your progress? From what I heard, it sounds like your brother is bearing a heavy burden. What better gift for him than if you were able to suddenly stand at his level and help him lift it?”
Shi Qingxuan paused, thinking over Jun Wu’s words. It sounded like a great idea! His brother had looked so tired the last time he saw him. He was sure that surprising his brother with his increased strength would be the perfect gift. He nodded enthusiastically, “You’re right! My brother will definitely appreciate a surprise!”
Jun Wu’s eyes creased, as he motioned for Shi Qingxuan to follow him. Shi Qingxuan’s jaw dropped as Jun Wu led him to a beautiful area. He closed his eyes as he basked in air abundant with spiritual energy. He couldn’t believe his luck at the generosity of the Heavenly Emperor.
Shi Qingxuan’s good feelings towards Jun Wu increased as the Heavenly Emperor personally trained him. Jun Wu even gave him more advice, before leaving him alone to cultivate. It continued in this manner, with Jun Wu helping Shi Qingxuan progress his strength via increasingly intense training sessions.
While the training was hard, Shi Qingxuan could feel his spiritual energy improving rapidly. Truly, Jun Wu was not the Heavenly Emperor for nothing! His teaching ability and his own skills were something to be marveled at.
The more Shi Qingxuan’s strength grew, the more Jun Wu’s smile grew. With each encouragement from Jun Wu, Shi Qingxuan pushed himself to work harder and harder. While he didn’t really like training (even with praises), the desire to spend time with and help his brother was his driving motivation. He was going to be strong. Strong enough for his brother to rely on him.
Today, Shi Qingxuan felt that he had made a major breakthrough. Beaming with pride at his progress, he excitedly turned towards Jun Wu, “My Lord, thanks to your help, I believe I have gotten a lot stronger. What do you think, my Lord?”
Jun Wu smiled and gently patted Shi Qingxuan’s head. “I do think you are much stronger.”
Shi Qingxuan glowed at the compliment, “Do you think Ge-- I mean the Water Master would also agree?”
“Right now you might even be stronger than Water Master.” Jun Wu’s hand slightly tensed on top of Shi Qingxuan’s head, but his smile widened further as he looked down at Shi Qingxuan.
As Jun Wu drew his hand away, Shi Qingxuan raised his head. Biting his lip, he hesitantly asked, “I’ve been attempting to search for the Find Me Not pendant, but have been unable to locate it. Would my Lord happen to know where it is?”
“The Find Me Not pendant. . .” Jun Wu’s eyes seemed to darken for a second, but it must have been a trick of the light. Looking again, Jun Wu’s eyes were filled with warmth as he smiled at Shi Qingxuan. “I believe I know where it is. It might be a little hard to get right now, but I can help you obtain the pendant.”
Shi Qingxuan hesitated, torn on whether he should accept Jun Wu’s help. He had wanted to be the one who completed the mission to prove his own ability to his brother. If someone helped him it couldn’t be considered as his own accomplishment. “I-- I don’t think--”
Jun Wu smoothly interjected, “Don’t worry about it. Think of it as getting more time to get used to your spiritual ability. Even if I do help, it would still be your accomplishment, because you were smart enough to use the resources needed to complete your mission. Besides, would it not be better for you to get what the Water Master wants faster?”
Jun Wu’s words were extremely reasonable. It was true that it was better to quickly get the item. Besides, what if his brother actually needed the pendant quickly, and Shi Qingxuan only hindered him by being too slow? Additionally, wouldn’t the Heavenly Emperor feel slighted if he pushed away his helping hand?
Shi Qingxuan hesitantly nodded and agreed to receive Jun Wu’s help. He immediately felt better about his decision as Jun Wu’s eyes lit up with happiness, smiling widely at him.
What Doesn’t Want To Be Found, Won’t Be Found.
After Shi Qingxuan accepted Jun Wu’s help, and he had made his breakthrough, Jun Wu stopped coming. Shi Qingxuan felt a little lonely without Jun Wu’s company.
Feeling rather annoyed, Shi Qingxuan huffily decided to go to his favorite place—the drinking pavilion. He really wanted a drink. Or two. Or three. In the middle of drinking his tenth cup, he was rudely interrupted when Pei Ming burst into the room.
Pei Ming’s stood near the entrance, eyes wide as he heaved for breath. He looked disheveled, his clothes and hair askew, as he wildly glanced around the room. Once his eyes lit upon Shi Qingxuan, he ran towards him.
Without bothering with any greetings, Pei Ming hauled him out of his seat by his lapels, demanding harshly, “WHERE IS YOUR BROTHER? WHERE IS SHUI-XIONG!”
Shi Qingxuan glared ferociously at Pei Ming. He couldn’t believe the General’s behavior. Not only did the General not even attempt any semblance of manners, he also had the audacity to grab him, forcing him to spill his drink, while demanding information about his brother. As if he had any right to be close to him! He tried to wrench his clothes out of Pei Ming’s grasp, snarling, “I don’t know where he is, but even if I did know, I wouldn’t tell you .”
“Shi Qingxuan, I NEED to see him. I--” Pei Ming’s voice faltered before he clenched his jaw, eyes darting around Shi Qingxuan’s face, seemingly looking for answers.
Shi Qingxuan’s limited patience abruptly ended, roaring at Pei Ming, “Stop BOTHERING him. My brother IS NOT, and WILL NOT be one of your partners! If you’re looking for someone to warm your bed, GO FIND someone else!”
Shi Qingxuan was not going to allow this womanizer to play around with his brother. His brother deserved the best, and definitely deserved better than to be treated like one of Pei Ming’s innumerable flings. He deserved someone kind, strong and understanding. Someone like Jun Wu. In fact, Jun Wu was always solicitously asking after his brother, which was definitely more than he could say for Pei Ming.
Honestly though, he was fine with anyone as long as his brother was happy, anyone EXCEPT for Pei Ming. Pei Ming would never be able to ensure his brother’s happiness. As long as he had a say, Pei Ming would NEVER be his brother in law. Absolutely not.
Pei Ming’s face flushed as he thundered, “HAVE YOU EVER HEARD YOUR BROTHER’S VERBAL PASSWORD? WHAT DO YOU KNOW YOU--” Pei Ming cut himself off, swallowing hard, his eyes starting to turn red as his shoulders trembled. He abruptly turned his head away, his hold becoming weaker until he finally let go of Shi Qingxuan’s hopelessly wrinkled clothing, arms dangling listlessly by his side.
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes widened at Pei Ming’s statement. His brother gave Pei Ming his verbal password, but didn’t give it to him. His brother gave a player who only wanted his body his verbal password and never gave it to his own younger brother. His heart filled with such utter frustration that he couldn’t even hear what Pei Ming was trying to say.
Shaking his head furiously, he screamed at Pei Ming. “I DON’T KNOW IT! JUST STOP BOTHERING MY BROTHER AND LEAVE US ALONE!” With that, Shi Qingxuan shoved Pei Ming to the side and stomped out of the main room of the pavilion, ignoring the stares of the other patrons. He was done dealing with Pei Ming. That womanizing general was obviously trying to trick Shi Qingxuan. There was no way that his brother, Shi Wudu, would give Pei Ming his verbal password before he gave it to him. There was no way.
Finally, I Am Just Like You.
It had been a while after the ignominious confrontation with Pei Ming. Shi Qingxuan had just finished his training, and decided to drink with a group of mortals at The Terrace of Cascading Wine.
Shi Qingxuan drank until his face became flushed, but still flagged the server for more. He was planning on getting wasted, and he liked seeing the owners’ happy faces whenever he came. He knew that he had been spending massive amounts lately, but his brother was the god of wealth! It wasn’t like he couldn’t afford it, and if it made others happy that he was spending gold like water, why shouldn’t he?
He threw out merits and money without thought. It wasn’t like his brother was going to stop him; instead, his brother even increased the amount of pocket money he gave him. Additionally, the number of merits coming into Shi Qingxuan’s safe were so numerous that he doubted he would ever be able to finish using them even if he threw out merits as if they were air.
Shi Qingxuan paid for everyone’s meals and returned their smiles, laughing uproariously with them. He continued drinking with abandon until he noticed a malicious cook bullying some villagers below. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he nonchalantly spilled his wine and cast a small spell, using the wine to knock the man out.
After his wine cup was completely emptied, he suddenly felt his Qi bursting with power within his body. Shi Qingxuan smiled broadly. It was finally his turn to ascend to join his brother. He closed his eyes, allowing his spiritual power to fully develop.
When he ascended, he was surrounded by all his friends and gods in the Upper and Middle Courts. Shi Qingxuan graciously accepted each and every congratulation.
Shi Qingxuan couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed. He had finally reached his goal. He was finally a water god in the Upper Court. His brother was the Water Master and as a Water God, he could be his brother’s partner. They would finally be able to do missions together. The brothers would be known as a pair of water gods. Shi Qingxuan’s eyes curved as he smiled, thinking of all the things they would be able to do together.
Shi Qingxuan raced around the heavens, exclaiming to all to hear that he was now among the rest of the Upper Court gods, soaked in all the praises. Just when he felt like he absorbed enough praises and was about to look for his brother, he was summoned by the Heavenly Emperor.
The moment he left, the remaining gods started laughing, rejoicing amongst themselves.
“Oh thank the Heavens. The Water Tyrant is finally gone.”
“I was waiting for that Tyrant to disappear. It honestly took long enough.”
“All he cared for was merits and increasing worshippers. I bet his greed finally ended him.”
“His younger brother is so much better. Much more friendly and generous. His rise is truly a blessing.”
“Exactly, the Water Tyrant was more like a demon instead of a god. He was filled with cruelty. He forced people to worship him just to fulfill his greed. The position of the Water Master finally has a proper god.”
The gods continued to jeer at and insult the deposed Water Master. As they held up their wine cups filled with the wine that Shi Qingxuan bought for them, they laughed, cheering for the new Water Master.
It Wasn’t Supposed To Be Like This. I Never Wanted This.
Shi Qingxuan bowed deeply to the Heavenly Emperor. As he rose from the bow, Jun Wu smiled and congratulated him. Shi Qingxuan beamed back at the emperor, watching as Jun Wu reached into his sleeve to pull out a wrapped item. Shi Qingxuan furrowed his brow when Jun Wu handed him the item and motioned for him to open it. Unwrapping the item, he realized that it was the Find Me Not pendant he had been searching for.
Shi Qingxuan eagerly thanked Jun Wu, bringing the pendant closer to his eyes, drinking in all the details on the pendant. He had finally achieved the mission his brother had given to him. The pendant was gorgeous, but there seemed to be some spots of blood on it. Shi Qingxuan frowned in confusion, looking at Jun Wu for an explanation.
Jun Wu laughed a bit, eyes creasing as he explained, “There was a stubborn and defiant creature that had the pendant in its possession. I admit that because I wanted to study it a little more, I took a little more time than necessary to weaken it before I retrieved the pendant. I hope you don’t mind.”
“I don’t mind at all. Many thanks to the Lord for defeating the creature and obtaining the pendant for me.” Shi Qingxuan clutched the pendant close to his heart, smiling brightly. Jun Wu truly was such a nice person, going out of his way just to help him.
Finally done telling the news to all of the Heavens, Shi Qingxuan raced to the Water Palace, slamming the doors open, and loudly announced his entrance. Only silence greeted him, as the echo of his voice died down. Furrowing his brow, he glanced around the empty greeting hall, before running to his brother’s room.
“Ge! I’m a Water God now!” Shi Qingxuan exclaimed happily, bursting into the room. However, he was met with an empty room and silence again. He continued to search and search around the Palace, but his brother was nowhere to be found. He huffed, scratching his head in frustration. Well, If his brother wasn’t at the Water Palace, then he could only be in the mortal realm, answering prayers.
Not letting this deter him, Shi Qingxuan excitedly ran to the edge of heaven to look for his brother. He felt the bottom of his stomach drop out. In front of his widening eyes, a scene straight out of his nightmares was being played out. The world below looked as if it were on fire. Thousands upon thousands of temples were being burnt to the ground. Statues were dragged out of the temple and were smashed upon the streets, shattering into millions of pieces.
Shi Qingxuan’s knees trembled, legs giving out as he collapsed, blankly staring at the nightmarish scene below, as he could only continue to take in the situation. The temples that were being burnt, the statues that were being destroyed weren't just any god’s. It was his brother. They were burning his brother’s temples, destroying his brother’s statues, but why?
Why were they burning his brother’s place of worship and destroying his image? The world was on fire, his brother wasn’t there, and he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t understand what was going on. He really couldn’t comprehend the situation at all. Why? This was just too…
Shi Qingxuan rocked himself back and forth, hands clenched in his hair, unable to tear his gaze away from the scenes of destruction. He wanted his brother’s warmth holding him and his gentle explanations.
His brother was THE STRONGEST elemental god, the RICHEST god there was. He was the WATER MASTER, the GOD OF WEALTH. Why were they burning his brother’s temples and statues? it didn’t make any sense. It didn’t make any...
Forcing himself to stand despite his shaking legs, Shi Qingxuan raced back to find the nearest gods he could, demanding an answer, an explanation, for anything, anything at all.
They just smiled at him, not understanding his distress. “You're the new Water Master.”
Another chimed in, “Thank god you’re the new one. I couldn’t stand your brother. He was such a greedy Tyrant, but I know you’ll be a far better Water Master than he ever was.”
No.
No, no, no, no, he couldn’t be the Water Master, he was just a Water God. They had to be mistaken. His brother was obviously the Water Master. Shi Qingxuan shook his head frantically, before tearing away to other gods, desperately hoping for a different answer. When each answer didn’t match what he wanted to hear, he continued to fruitlessly search for another one.
His brother. He had to just find his brother. He would have the answers. His brother was probably just in the mortal realm answering prayers. Shi Qingxuan hurtled down to the mortal world to find his brother. Once he found his brother, surely he could bring an end to this madness.
However, his frantic search came to an abrupt halt. In front of his disbelieving eyes, he saw his own statue standing where his brother’s had once stood. The realization of what was happening finally sunk in. He had replaced his brother and now his brother was gone. He was gone. His brother was completely gone and now he was all alone, sitting on his brother’s cold throne.
Needing something—anything to try to help himself accept that his brother was gone, Shi Qingxuan ran to the house he had once shared with his brother when they were still mortal. Though he was searching for closure, what he found only threw his mind into even more chaos. When he entered the house, he found that it was completely trashed. Either someone had gone insane, smashing and destroying everything and anything within their vision, or a huge fight had happened.
Shaking himself out of his stupor, Shi Qingxuan stared at the floor, seeing suspicious stains. His hands started to tremble with fear, and with a sinking feeling of despair, he knelt down to take a closer look. He inhaled sharply as his suspicions were confirmed. He knew it. It was dried blood. There was a pool of dried blood on the floor near the bed, and drag marks from the pool of blood to the door. Scattered around the pool of dried blood, he found broken pieces of his brother’s fan. Their matching fan. With this thought, tears threatened to overwhelm his vision. His brother must have gotten killed or seriously injured next to the bed. After that, the murderer must have dragged his brother’s body across the floor, before finally leaving with it.
Shi Qingxuan gripped the pendant tightly in his hands, the engravings digging into his delicate hand. Ragged breaths echoed in the desolate room as he stared tearfully at the bloody stains. The murderer didn’t even have the decency to leave his brother’s body for him to put to rest. He vowed to himself that he would figure out what happened. He’d find out and get justice for his brother.
He finally released the pendant, taking a shuddering breath as he slowly began to pick up the pieces of his brother’s broken fan, trying to keep at least one reminder of his brother. Once everything was safely stored in his pouch, he flew back to the palace. He burst into the palance and ran and ran, not stopping until he got to his brother’s room.
He threw himself onto his brother’s bed, trying to take in whatever remaining warmth and scent of his brother’s was left, but it was no use. It could never replace the warmth and scent of his actual brother.
He sobbed into his brother’s bed. “I never meant to replace you. I never wanted to replace you. I wanted to be LIKE you. I wanted to be WITH you. I just-- I just wanted to help you...”
Shi Qingxuan stopped, overwhelmed with despair. He began to scream and scream for his brother. His body shook with uncontrollable sobs, and he held his brother’s pillows to his nose, trying to engrave the scent into his mind.
“GE! GE! GE! GE! GE! GE! GE! GE!” Shi Qingxuan fruitlessly wailed, but was only left with the echoes of an empty palace.
The next day, Jun Wu opened the previous Water Master’s safe in front of the entirety of the Upper Court to ceremoniously transfer the wealth to Shi Qingxuan. To the gathered crowd’s shock, it was completely empty. Not a single coin was inside. All of the assembled gods began howling with laughter, jeering that the Water Tyrant was nothing but a fraud. God of Wealth? What God of Wealth? Ptui! He was the God of Bankruptcy! With how much he demanded from his worshipers, how shameful that this was the state of the feared Water Tyrant’s safe?
Shi Qingxuan’s face contorted as tears rolled down his face. His hand tightened around the key to his safe. How could his brother be bankrupt when Shi Qingxuan’s own safe was filled with immeasurable wealth?
Notes:
Writing instead of studying for midterms and listening to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaTdvcQ5Yk4&list=LL&index=60
Same song but fan made for chapter 124. Much feels for Shi Wudu.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOnEFsk3OpE&list=LL&index=61(Should I include Resentment of Chunshan 2.0 [General’s Resentment] and make SY spit blood? ) Lowkey feels like making JW and SY a thing, an extremely toxic BE relationship. . .gonna have to stop myself.
Chapter 10: Let Me Move On
Notes:
All previous chapters has been edited. There are some CHANGES and EXTRA scenes ADDED, so be sure to reread it.
I do not believe that I need to add any warnings for this chapter. Very pleased.
Happy Thanksgiving, guys.
Sending many thanks to my beta.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
It was the middle of the night, when the entirety of Heaven trembled, ground roiling underneath like a startled cat. The moment Ling Wen’s eyes opened from the commotion, she rolled her eyes so hard, she was surprised that they didn’t simply pop out of her head.
This type of disturbance could only be due to some sort of calamitous god ascending to Heaven. Unfortunately, she knew only a couple of beings that might fit that description, and the slowly sinking feeling in her stomach made her believe that the ruckus could only be attributed to one Crown Prince of Xianle. She sighed irritably. Of course the Crown Prince had to ascend a third time—as if the previous two times he’d ascended, he hadn’t caused enough trouble. She could only hope that Xie Lian wouldn’t drag down Pei Ming like he’d done to Shi Wudu, or cause any other trouble. Her heart was too tired to deal with anymore problems caused by the Crown Prince.
Tugging her robes into place, she muttered curses fiercely under her breath, as she prepared to go into her office to get ready and greet the newcomer. She’d just reached the door to her office, when she heard her name. Looking behind her, she was greeted by the sight of Pei Ming’s face filled with uncharacteristic concern.
“Ling Wen, it seems that the Crown Prince is back again.” Pei Ming’s voice was tight and hoarse, as if he had also just woken from sleep.
“Yes, I’m going to prepare the documents for his return and calculate all the damages from the Crown Prince’s latest ascension.” Ling Wen’s voice was carefully neutral as she observed Pei Ming’s tense jaw and clenched fist, gripping two tassels by his waist.
“I’ll leave you to that then. Just… Be careful, okay?” Saying that, Pei Ming reached out to squeeze her shoulder comfortingly, before he turned to go, his other hand never loosening its grip on those tassels.
Ling Wen huffed a breath in annoyance at Pei Ming’s statement. Despite how much Pei Ming and Shi Wudu had enjoyed poking fun at her lack of martial skills, she was definitely no slouch when it came to holding her own. As the sole holder of the single brain cell shared between the three tumors, she had always been forced to deal with all of their messes, whether it be from Pei Ming’s attack-first mentality as well as his eternal string of affairs, to Shi Wudu’s—she pushed down a familiar pang—habit of seeking and attracting trouble as well as getting unreasonably attached to strays.
She furrowed her brow as she clenched her hand around the tassel tied around her brush, before slipping it into her sleeves with a sigh. Xie Lian. The Crown Prince of the fallen kingdom of Xianle, and the reason why Shi Wudu fell from Heaven. Ling Wen absolutely could not understand why Shi Wudu had been so attached to Xie Lian—though she really shouldn’t be surprised as it was one of Shi Wudu’s unfortunate flaws—to get attached to pests. In Ling Wen’s honest opinion, whatever he had seen in Xie Lian was absolutely not worth the trouble that had come along from their association.
It hadn’t been worth it.
Just how could it have been worth the life of her friend?
In her opinion, the worst part of the whole situation wasn’t even the fact that the Crown Prince had been able to ascend not twice, but thrice, but that it was entirely his fault that Shi Wudu was now dead with no possibility of reincarnation. Just thinking about this entire situation left her with an uncomfortable feeling of rage bubbling deep in her chest.
Regardless of her feelings, she had to perform her duty and welcome Xie Lian back into Heaven. Her mouth turned down in a ferocious scowl, as she savagely ground her inkstone, thinking uncharitably, that even if she had the duty to welcome Xie Lian, it didn’t mean she had to be happy or remotely nice about it.
Why Did You Ascend Instead Of Him?
When Ling Wen finally went out to greet Xie Lian, she couldn’t help but smirk at the first-hand view she had of the pure destruction Xie Lian’s ascension caused. Even though her brain was still groaning at the sheer amount of paperwork she’d already done, and would continue to do because of the mess, her heart was overjoyed at the possibility of seeing the despair in his face when she gave him the bill for all the damages he would have to pay, despite the fact that he had just ascended.
“Congratulations, Your Royal Highness the Crown Prince.” Ling Wen carefully modulated her voice—not letting a scrap of emotion out.
Xian Lian raised his head and with a smile, he asked, “Thank you. But may I ask what exactly you are congratulating me for?”
Ling Wen nearly sneered at him, before forcibly smoothing her face as she replied, “Congratulations for getting the first place for ‘Heaven’s Officials most anticipated to be demoted and banished to the mortal realm.” She couldn’t help the slight rush of joy from reminding him of the shame of being demoted multiple times. While it was usually Shi Wudu’s job to be the petty-ass bitch, she felt that she was simply lending him a hand to deliver justice that had long been overdue.
Unfortunately, that joy was quickly overwhelmed by anger, when rather than being properly ashamed, Xie Lian had the audacity to smile and claim that he should be happy just because Ling Wen was congratulating him for getting first place. She gritted her teeth at just how thick-skinned Xie Lian was. It could almost give Pei Ming a run for his money.
Ling Wen smiled through her teeth, “Since you got first place, you can get one hundred merits.”
“Next time, if there is another list like this, please put me on it.” At his immediate reply, Ling Wen hid her trembling hands inside her sleeves, gripping the tassel attached to her brush.
Forcibly loosening her grip, Ling Wen narrowed her eyes at the Crown Prince and asked with a pleasant tone, “Do you know who is in second place?”
Xie Lian looked hesitant, opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish, before ultimately staying silent. That’s right, Ling Wen thought viciously, the only other god Xie Lian would know who got demoted was Shi Wudu, the previous Water Master. At the very least, he was not shameless enough to mention him. He shouldn’t dare to even utter his name.
She continued mercilessly, “There is no second place. The moment you appeared, you left everyone in the dust without any hopes of catching up.“
“Who was the first-place winner from the previous year?” Xie Lian tentatively asked.
Ling Wen's lip barely curled into a sneer. How dare he look hopeful as he expected an answer? Did he really expect that everyone was as fortunate as him? Getting demoted and ascending willy nilly?
“There isn’t one because this list was created this year. To be more exact, it was created when you ascended again.” Her answer was flat, every word a condemnation.
At her answer, Xie Lian's smile finally fell. However, rather than the satisfaction she expected, she only felt empty. A small part acknowledged that what she had truly been searching for wasn’t Xie Lian’s despair, but for Shi Wudu to come back. For the three tumors to be reunited, and be able to roll her eyes at Pei Ming’s awkward pining and attempted courtship of an oblivious Shi Wudu—to be able to hear Shi Wudu’s cutting remarks and sarcastic jokes as they gossiped together. However, she knew it was impossible, and had to content herself with what little consolations she could find.
Bottling her emotions up again, Ling Wen slowly described and showed (or rather didn’t show) Xie Lian everything that he had destroyed, and would therefore have to pay for. After which Ling Wen presented him the bill for a grand total of eight million, eight hundred and eighty thousand merits. She had fought for a split second with the temptation to present him a bill with a higher amount, but in the end, whether it was a merit more or less, he still wouldn’t be able to pay it.
In another moment of pettiness, Ling Wen decided to offer Xie Lian the password to the public array, she waited patiently as Xie Lian entered the spiritual communication array, listening dispassionately, knowing that he had to hear the ridicule from the other gods, and would also be forced to interact with them. She kept listening as Xie Lian had an awkward and public reunion and delivered an even more awkward apology to both Mu Qing and Feng Xin. However, the more Ling Wen watched, the more confused she became.
How did Xie Lian not initially realize he was interacting with his former subordinates? How did he not know that they had risen as new martial gods? She’d even had to remind him of who they were. The only possible answer was that Xie Lian had been completely cut off from any knowledge of the recent changes in the Heavenly Officials. For the sake of her own sanity, she brusquely cut off the stilted conversation between Xie Lian and his former generals, instead bringing him to her office in her Palace Hall to assign him the mission Jun Wu had requested Xie Lian’s help with.
He Really Does Favor You.
The mission Ling Wen was assigning to Xie Lian had been reserved upon request from Jun Wu. She couldn’t help but frown at the blatant show of favoritism. The mission that Jun Wu had reserved had actually been left on hold for a while, thus accumulating numerous merits from the rich worshipper’s prayers. It was almost as if Jun Wu knew that Xie Lian would ascend soon, and would therefore need a great number of merits quickly. If Xie Lian completed the mission successfully, he would be able to pay off his debt.
Her lips tightened as she remembered how in the past, when Shi Wudu was working himself to death trying to earn merits for his brother’s sake and was constantly requesting missions, none of the missions that Jun Wu gave him was worth even a tenth of the merits that this mission promised. Even more galling, the missions Shi Wudu went on were just as complicated, or even tougher than the current one given to Xie Lian. Ling Wen’s grip tightened around the scroll as she brought it down from the shelves. It was truly unfair.
She forced her personal feelings and emotions down; she was a professional. If she was a little bit rougher when she shoved—handed the mission to Xie Lian than usual, it was no one’s business. Ling Wen was the absolute picture of professionalism.
She gave Xie Lian a brief overview with a neutral tone, “Recently in the north, there are many zealous worshippers repeatedly praying for blessings. At the present time, the Emperor is unable to attend to the North. If you are willing to take his place and complete this mission, the offerings from these zealous worshippers will be allocated to your altar.”
Misfortune After Misfortune.
Xie Lian held out both of his hands and accepted the mission gratefully.
He felt deep gratitude towards Jun Wu, who was clearly helping him, even helping to give Xie Lian face by wording the favor as a request that Xie Lian help Jun Wu instead. His lips curled up slightly as he thanked Ling Wen, holding the scroll to his chest.
Ling Wen stared at him dispassionately, before intoning, “I am only responsible for handling these affairs if you want to thank someone, you should wait for the Emperor to return and thank him.”
She paused, almost seeming to hesitate before asking, “Do you require my help in borrowing magical artifacts for the mission? Unfortunately, it will likely be difficult to find defensive and protective artifacts, as there still seems to be a shortage that has dated back to your first ascension.”
Xie Lian furrowed his brow as he noticed that despite Ling Wen’s emotionless facade, her voice seemed tense and slightly harsh. It wasn’t really noticeable, and one would have to have really keen eyes to spot it, but it was definitely there. The real question would be what reason did Ling Wen have to clearly be holding some sort of grievance against him? Unfortunately, though he had a thick face, it was not nearly thick enough for him to voice this question, and thus, he could only remain silent about the issue, focusing instead on the subject at hand.
He smiled, “There’s no need. Even if you give me a magical artifact, once I go down I won’t have any spiritual power, and so I won’t be able to use it.”
Xie Lian figured that it would be better to not trouble Ling Wen any further to not fan her apparent grievance against him. Especially because any artifact she would be able to procure for him would be useless.
She slowly nodded, her eyes calculating, “Then it would be best to borrow a few martial gods to help you.”
Xie Lian winced. Ling Wen probably meant well when she offered, but he’d really rather not have her ask on his behalf. The current gods either didn’t like him or didn’t know him, and thus, it was unlikely that anyone would offer any form of assistance. “There is no need to do that, there is no one willing to help.”
As if she hadn’t heard him, Ling Wen simply entered the spiritual array to request assistance for him.
With a bright tone, Ling Wen asked, “Everyone, the Crown Prince is going on a mission in the North and requires assistance. Is there anyone willing to help him out?”
He didn’t expect much--he really didn’t, but despite thinking that, there was still a small part of him holding onto a tiny flickering flame of hope and desire that someone would offer to help. Even though Xie Lian was used to working alone, that didn’t mean he enjoyed it. He sent Ling Wen a small smile that she dutifully ignored, as he continued to wait for the result.
That tiny flickering flame was mercilessly extinguished the moment Ling Wen glanced at him and quickly shook her head. He sighed, he should have known no one would offer assistance. As expected, he was forced to work alone.
“Thank you for your trouble. I will be leaving now.” Xie Lian drew his shoulders back, and lifted his head, offering another small smile to Ling Wen as he prepared to leave.
Ling Wen cupped her hands, smoothly saying, “Very well. May Your Highness’ journey be fruitful and smooth.”
Xie Lian cupped his hands in return, leaving Ling Wen’s office with a carefree wave, back straight and head held high.
I Am Too Sober For This.
The moment Xie Lian left, Ling Wen had no time to rest, as the door to her office opened once more, assaulting her ears with the sound of bickering. She tucked a rebellious stray hair behind her ear, and stared up to the unwanted presences in her office. Two martial gods stood in front of her desk shooting angry looks at each other.
Although they were disguised, it was extremely clear who these two individuals were. In all of heaven, there was no pair quite like Mu Qing and Feng Xin, who, despite clearly hating each other, somehow still remained in close contact. Memories of her long ago gossip sessions with Shi Wudu came to her mind unbidden. If Shi Wudu had been here, he would have called the two “frenemies.” She sighed internally, desperately missing her friend’s snarky commentary and strange slang.
Ling Wen raised one eyebrow as she stared the pair down, waiting for them to explain themselves to her. They finally managed to settle themselves, slightly cowed by her dead-eyed stare. Squirming a little, they explained that their Palace’s General had sent them to assist Xie Lian. Ling Wen squinted at them. So they basically wanted to use fake identities to help Xie Lian with his mission. Annoying as usual, but fine.
Their disguises and false identities could have been convincing if they hadn’t been acting in the exact same manner as their original selves. It would honestly be impossible for Xie Lian not to recognize them, despite having not met them for a few centuries. He would have to have a brain smaller than Pei Ming, or be denser and even less self aware than Shi Wudu; both of which she highly doubted were even possible.
She stared at the idiots in front of her, and firmly decided that she was not nearly drunk enough to handle this situation, simply agreeing to their conditions. Xie Lian needed help, and they were offering. She honestly couldn’t care less whether or not Xie Lian received any help, but if it got these two headaches out of her hair, she’d promptly send them his way.
She sends a silent prayer to her future self and lights a candle for her own sanity before sending a voice transmission over to Xie Lian, notifying him of his new assistants. Whatever happened would be his problem, not hers.
An Uneasy Feeling.
After dealing with the two menaces, Ling Wen continued her day like normal, sorting through the various requests, and filling out form after form of requisitions for repairs. She rubbed the bridge of her nose and blew out a frustrated breath as she thought about her eventful morning. She really couldn’t understand the way those idiots thought.
If Mu Qing and Feng Xin wanted to help Xie Lian, they should just help straight-forwardly; no disguises were necessary. However, if they didn’t even want to show their face to Xie Lian, then they simply shouldn’t have offered to help. Ling Wen swore that men only existed to give her more work and more headaches. Nonetheless, Xie Lian now had the help he needed, and hopefully, his mission wouldn't cause any additional trouble for her. She highly doubted it, but Ling Wen could allow herself some flights of fancy at times--it kept her mind limber.
To be honest, Xie Lian’s mission shouldn’t be too difficult, since all he had to do was figure out what was going on behind some missing brides. The relative simplicity of the mission and the—quite frankly—excessive amount of power and experience in the individuals involved should mean that the mission would be completed somewhat seamlessly. Then again, based on just who the gods in question were, it was much more likely that they’d get themselves into an even bigger mess.
Ling Wen picked up her tea with a slight frown, swirling the golden liquid inside as she watched steam curl hypnotically from the cup. She leaned against her chair, allowing her aching back some relief, and closed her eyes as she thought about her current two problemmakers. From her hard-earned experience, putting certain gods together to solve missions would almost certainly guarantee complications in the mission.
For example, the current Water Master, Shi Qingxuan, absolutely could not interact civilly with Pei Ming, preferring to go solo on his mission rather than be paired with the general. Ling Wen had experienced a rare moment of shock when people-loving and happy go lucky Shi Qingxuan downright refused to be partnered with Pei Ming on a mission. On the occasional times the two had no choice but to partner up, though the mission would get completed, it usually ended with a miserably irate Shi Qingxuan, and an extremely infuriated and harried Pei Ming.
Despite this, Pei Ming would constantly check in on all of Shi Qingxuan’s missions, hovering indecisively in the background as he tried to surreptitiously check whether the new Water Master was doing alright. The entire time Pei Ming would do this, Shi Qingxuan would yell at the beleaguered general that he didn’t need help and to mind his own business. At times, Ling Wen couldn’t help but be starkly reminded of a long-suffering stepparent trying to take care of their new and rebellious child.
In this case, there was no helping the two. For the sake of Shi Wudu, Pei Ming felt compelled to look after Shi Qingxuan, further enraging Shi Qingxuan. Unfortunately, for Shi Qingxuan, it was also for the sake of Shi Wudu that he absolutely despised Pei Ming and would never forgive him, believing all of the rumors surrounding Pei Ming’s hand in Shi Wudu’s fall. More times than she could count, Ling Wen desperately wanted to smash their heads together for causing her so much grief. She instead contented herself with cursing Shi Wudu for leaving the two to her to deal with.
However, they weren’t even the worst relationship she had to deal with.
Ling Wen sometimes wanted to scream into the sky all of her complaints about having to deal with the contentious relation between the new Wind Master and Pei Ming. If they ever managed to stay in the same room without a fight breaking out, Ling Wen would think that the world would probably be at its end. As for missions? Ha! If they could successfully complete a mission together, she’d give each of them 10 million merits and buy Pei Ming 1,000 bottles of that osmanthus wine he loved so much.
She had no earthly or heavenly idea where exactly the bad blood started between the two, but she had a gut feeling that it was also Shi Wudu’s fault. Honestly, whenever something gave her ridiculous amounts of headaches, the first thing she usually blamed was Shi Wudu. It usually saved her a great deal of time. Therefore, she cursed him even more, spitefully wishing for him to return and deal with all the BS he had dumped onto her.
Therefore, even though Mu Qing and Feng Xin were terrible, they weren’t as bad as He Xuan and Pei Ming, or even Shi Qingxuan and Pei Ming. Additionally, with Xie Lian as a buffer between the two, it would be fine. It should be fine. Key word should. Ling Wen again wished she could just talk with Shi Wudu about all of these ridiculous people, but put that thought aside. In the end, Xie Lian would probably be fine on this mission. He always seemed to be fine, she noted sourly.
Ling Wen opened her eyes again, as she took a sip of her now cooled tea. She was rudely interrupted from her hard-earned break when one of her overworked minions ran up, hurriedly thrusting a scroll at her. Placing her tea back on the table, she took the proffered scroll, quickly skimming through the contents.
She groaned internally. It seemed like she’d spoken too soon. Xie Lian’s mission had become much more complicated than previously thought. Apparently the entity that Xie Lian was up against was estimated to be a wrath ranked ghost—second in rank only to a devastation rank ghost. Ling Wen rolled the scroll up with a snap, sending her minion out with further instructions, before contacting Xie Lian through the array.
“Has Your Highness finally managed to borrow some spiritual power? If so, is everything in the North running smoothly?” Ling Wen paused, and after giving it a few seconds of thought also asked, “How are your two helpers?”
“Each of them have their own merits and is capable.” Xie Lian’s response was carefully diplomatic.
Ling Wen raised an eyebrow in admiration. The Crown Prince sure was good at sugar coating his words. Calling Mu Qing’s and Feng Xin’s usual interactions fiery was putting it mildly. Xie Lian’s statement could be considered an understatement at best, or at worst, a dirty lie. Regardless, at this point, she could only pray that Xie Lian wasn’t as dense and unaware as a certain someone when it came to matters surrounding himself.
Ling Wen didn't know how long it would take for Mu Qing and Feng Xin’s cover to be exposed, but she desperately hoped that it would happen sooner rather than later. She had no time nor desire to pretend at stupidity or play make-believe for too much longer.
With a mocking tilt to her lips, she replied, “Then we truly have to congratulate General Nan Yang and General Xuan Zhen. According to His Highness’s words, these two small martial gods have a boundless potential, and ascending might even be a possibility.”
“He didn’t inform me about this adventure of his and just left. I was left unaware of this.” Ling Wen had barely finished speaking when Mu Qing’s cold voice flowed into the communication array.
Ling Wen rolled her eyes. Did that troglodyte have to be so into this roleplay that he had to comment? Honestly, she’d have expected this type of petty stunt from Pei Ming rather than Mu Qing. Therefore, in her long-standing practice of dealing with Pei Ming, she pretended that Mu Qing hadn’t said a word. He was simply the air around her.
She frowned a bit. Speaking of Pei Ming, if Xie Lian was going against a wrath level in the North, it would be reasonable to send Pei Ming out to help him since he was the general in charge of the North. The more she thought about it, the less she liked the idea. She’d once looked the other way, allowing Shi Wudu to assist Xie Lian before, and Shi Wudu had never come back. Ice crept into her chest. What if she sent out Pei Ming to help Xie Lian and he also never came back?
The drawbacks of sending Pei Ming to help Xie Lian more than outweighed any benefits it would bring. Decision made, she refrained from mentioning Pei Ming, instead talking about the new discovery. Once the conversation ended, she was finally able to let out the breath she had been unknowingly holding.
If worst comes to worst, she WOULD send Pei Ming out since it was his territory after all, but hopefully Xie Lian and his two toddlers would be enough.
Unfortunately, Ling Wen had never been the type to put much stock in hopes.
Was It Worth It? Tell Me It Wasn’t.
After dealing with the latest hiccup in Xie Lian’s mission, Ling Wen resumed her work, tackling the massive wall of scrolls and reading until her eyes crossed. She continued working without a break, until she heard her door open once again. Casually glancing up, she gave a huge mental groan as the Wind Master walked in. She immediately looked back down and resumed her work.
Ling Wen was fully prepared to completely ignore him and let him stew in the silence. Besides, that man only came to her office to ask for one thing, and the answer to his question was always the same. She’d assumed that He Xuan would eventually get the hint and stop asking, but apparently, she expected a little too much rational thought from the Wind Master.
She didn’t want to talk to He Xuan, and she especially didn’t want to talk about what he always asked her for—new information or leads on the location of Shi Wudu. Ling Wen just wanted people to stop looking for or mentioning Shi Wudu. She was exhausted. Emotionally, mentally, she was simply tired. Tired of being stuck in her memories, of thinking of him. It felt like a constant slap in the face, having to always remember the fact that one of her only friends gave his life for some stranger who probably didn’t even appreciate the sacrifice made for his sake. To always remember the fact that she and Pei Ming had been pushed to the side for the sake of one person—the Crown Prince Xie Lian.
She so badly wanted to be able to grab Shi Wudu’s shoulders and shake him. To be able to look him in the eyes and seriously ask him whether it was worth it. Was sacrificing himself for Xie Lian’s sake truly worth forever splitting apart the three tumors? She needed to know whether Shi Wudu had truly believed that dying for Xie Lian was worth more than living for her and Pei Ming. She desperately hoped that it hadn’t been worth it—that he did in fact regret his actions.
But she’d never know. Honestly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know Shi Wudu’s answer.
She had once believed that their relationship was strong enough to withstand any obstacle. As the three tumors, they had stood above the rest, and when others tried to drag them down, they were there supporting each other.
They had revealed the worst of themselves to each other, and had gone through so much… entrusting their deepest secrets to each other, aiding, committing, and concealing crimes for each other, orchestrating the downfall of Jing Wen, covering up the events in Banyue Kingdom... Had their relationship—their trust in each other been a lie?
There was no way that could be true, but all evidence seemed to point otherwise. Shi Wudu had in fact ignored all of their concerns, continuing to try to help Xie Lian. They had warned him that he was getting closer and closer to the brink of disaster, but all of their worry and care had been thrown back into their faces when he not only paid no heed to their words of caution, but also willingly hurled himself over the brink for Xie Lian, not even having the courtesy to give them any warning or leave them with anything to mourn.
Ling Wen was brought out of her dark thoughts when she heard a quiet cough. She blinked as she looked for the source of the noise. Realizing it was actually He Xuan, her shoulders relaxed a little. She’d forgotten he was there with how quiet he’d been. Quickly glancing at her clock, he’d been waiting in front of her desk for about a shichen or so.
Seeing that he had her attention, He Xuan immediately asked the expected question, “Do you have any information about Wudu?”
Ling Wen’s eyes narrowed at the liberty He Xuan took. After the Wind God had learned Shi Wudu’s name, He Xuan constantly used Shi Wudu’s first name without any formality, which royally pissed off Pei Ming. Pei Ming would then constantly whine to Ling Wen about how, ‘He wasn’t even close to Shui-xiong! How dare he use his first name so casually!’ This therefore royally pissed Ling Wen off.
“No. Can’t you just stop searching for his body?” Anger made her curt, and though she didn’t beg for him to stop asking, she badly wanted to. Xie Lian reappearing in her life already brought back so many bad memories. She didn’t have the usual energy to put up with He Xuan’s daily reminder that someone she had cared about was missing.
“How can I stop when I have never truly found him?” He Xuan had the audacity to look at her like she was the one who was crazy.
Shi Wudu, oh, Shi Wudu. Please come back. Ling Wen promised she wouldn’t throttle him to death. Only nearly to death. Seriously, since when had He Xuan ever gotten close to Shi Wudu? Was this yet another secret Shi Wudu had kept from them?
“Shi Wudu is already dead. Forget about finding the empty shell of a dead man and move on.” Ling Wen wanted to yell it at He Xuan to get it through his thick head, but managed to refrain. Shi Wudu had died. He would remain dead. It was high time for everyone to move on. She thought ruefully that for gods who lived countless years, they should all be a little better at being able to let things go.
“No. I can’t do that. I won’t do that. Not when he is still so far from reach.” He Xuan looked down at his hands, clenching them tightly into fists as he finally turned away.
Just as He Xuan pushed the door open to leave, Ling Wen softly mumbled, “Is he worth it?”
He Xuan paused in the doorway, he turned to face her, dark eyes serious, “Always.” And with that simple reply, he left, leaving Ling Wen alone, her thoughts and emotions in turmoil.
Ling Wen slumped into her chair, running her fingers through her hair, laughing humorlessly. Seriously. She couldn’t be like this. She couldn’t continue to live in the past. She needed to move on. It has been centuries since Shi Wudu’s death, and just when she thought she’d finally moved on, Xie Lian simply had to come back, bringing yet another string of painful reminders.
She sighed as she remembered how crazy Pei Ming had gone when he’d realized Shi Qingxuan had ascended as the new Water Master. Pei Ming had been so distraught, she’d had to nearly knock him out to calm down and just think. They had been planning out how to track down Shi Wudu, since he had been blocking his tassel’s tracking ability, when Pei Ming, in a moment of desperation tried to track the tassel one more time. Surprisingly, the tassel worked. Ling Wen was immediately suspicious at just why they could suddenly track it, but Pei Ming was too excited that they had a lead, dragging her along to the signature’s location.
Shuddering, she thought of that small house they were led to. About how when they’d entered, they were faced with the sight of a destroyed room with blood all over the floor. Upon closer inspection, it looked as if someone had died violently, the bloody stains indicating that someone had dragged a wounded or dead body like a rag doll around the house. As they looked around the room, their despair increased with every second. Then Pei Ming found the torn tassel lying in the corner, completely drenched and stiffened in blood.
The sound Pei Ming made when he found the tassel—Ling Wen hoped she never heard anything like it again. Grief stole the strength from Pei Ming’s body, and he’d knelt heavily on the stained floor, staring at the tassel. Ling Wen herself could only close her eyes, as her nails drew blood from where they dug into her palms. Pei Ming finally managed to muster enough strength to pick the fallen tassel up, cradling it in his hands with an aching gentleness. That night, they openly grieved for Shi Wudu. Ling Wen knew that they had both lost something important that night. For Pei Ming however, that loss had irrevocably broken something inside of him.
When they were finally able to act as if grief did not weigh down their every action, Ling Wen could still remember the roiling rage that she’d felt. How she had absolutely hated Xie Lian. Both Ling Wen and Pei Ming had never been the type to have many friends. The three had only really had each other, and Xie Lian stolen one from them.
Revenge was the only thought on their mind, as she and Pei Ming used the same single-minded focus they’d utilized to overthrow Jing Wen, to find Xie Lian. They wanted vengeance, and they would pull it from Xie Lian’s very soul if they had to.
When the two finally managed to track down Xie Lian, their thoughts of blood were abruptly halted when they saw just how the former god was living. The former prideful Crown Prince of Xianle was wandering around hopelessly in the streets, collecting scraps, doing street performances, and doing other types of hard labor. While he still seemed to be carefree, the life he was living was not a life one would ever be envious of. The former darling of Heaven was now a homeless scrap collector. It was truly a pitiful sight.
Pei Ming stared at Xie Lian, before quietly turning his back, tears streaming down his clenched jaw, as he slowly walked away. Ling Wen could only watch him go, staying behind to calm her frenzied emotions. Later, when she questioned him, Pei Ming only said, “I can’t kick someone that is already down. Ling Wen, I wish he was an ungrateful asshole, but the way he is now… Getting revenge on someone like that won’t give me what I actually want.”
Though she hated to admit it, Pei Ming was right. Ling Wen had projected her anger onto Xie Lian because she was unable to hate Shi Wudu for leaving them behind. She’d tried to hate Xie Lian because he’d been the person who led Shi Wudu astray—tried to pour out all of her anger and disappointment in Shi Wudu onto Xie Lian. Unfortunately, that hatred was ultimately misplaced because it wasn’t his fault.
Despite knowing this, despite being the number one Civil God, she still wanted to act childishly, to throw a tantrum about how utterly unfair the whole situation was. To let out all of her disappointment and her anger on someone—on Xie Lian who was the only legacy of Shi Wudu’s mistake. Of his sacrifice.
But most of all, she just wanted everything to return to the way it had been before. To the time before Xianle fell and before Shi Wudu ever got involved with Xie Lian. Unfortunately, since that was impossible, the next best thing she’d get would be the ability to actually move on. To be able to move past everything that had happened with Shi Wudu. They had all been slowly healing, but Xie Lian’s return ripped their still tender wounds right open, forcing Ling Wen to remember her hatred, to remember her pain, and to remember Shi Wudu once more. She thought despairingly to herself as she reached for her secret liquor stash. They’d been fine before.
So just why did he have to return?
Notes:
The Lan brothers broke MXTX’s sibling system.
As everyone probably knows in MXTX’s novel, siblings usually don’t have a happy ending but the Lan brothers were able to escape the tragic ending and both live. NMJ found out about it and tried to escape, but ultimately failed.
If you guessed that the secret had something to do with fans, you are absolutely correct. In a brother-brother sibling relationship, if even one has a fan, at least one of them is going to die. So NMJ was correct for burning all NHS’ fan, it is just that NHS refused to let go of his fan hobby so it didn’t really work.
If it is a sister-brother sibling relationship and if it is an older sister, say goodbye. There is no hope.
If it is a sister-sister sibling relationship, also say goodbye, There is no hope there either.
So if you transmigrate into MXTX’s work and are in a brother-brother sibling relationship, I highly suggest you to drop your and your brother’s fans, no matter how fancy it is or someone is going to either lose some limbs or their head. Is that fan really more important than your sibling’s life? Think carefully. (SY fucked up and bought those fans in chapter 1, shame on him.)
Chapter 11: Finally News
Notes:
Warning: Incoming Xuan Ji's jealousy
The long-awaited General’s Resentment is here.
Happy December.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The sun was just beginning to descend as Pei Ming grabbed a jar of osmanthus wine from his storage, leaning to the side to snag two cups, before heading over to Ling Wen’s palace at a brisk pace for their regular get-together. From the first time the three tumors had teamed up, they had always set aside time to meet every week, regardless of their schedule. He brushed his hand on the tassels hanging from his waist as he remembered just why the tradition had stopped, only resuming a few decades ago, with the addition of alcohol.
Pei Ming shook his head slightly, forcibly turning his attention to the scenery around him. He smiled a bit, taking in the light gilding the walkway in front of him. Though he was not poetic by nature, even he was not immune to the brilliant display of colors painting the scenery in Heaven—though it was slightly marred by the sight of the various golden palaces still in disrepair he noted with a furrowed brow.
Continuing onwards, he finally made it to Ling Wen’s palace, starting to hum as he strolled up to Ling Wen’s office. He shoved the door open without bothering to knock. The only warning he gave of his arrival was a purposefully obnoxious, “LING WEN!”
Once Ling Wen saw him, she rolled her eyes, but immediately began putting her work away without even scolding him, much to his satisfaction. Pei Ming’s gaze sharpened as he took in how Ling Wen’s shoulders were slumped even more than usual, her movements dulled from fatigue. He sighed as he turned to head for the balcony. It seemed like she was still troubled over the latest developments in Heaven.
Luckily for her, he’d brought both alcohol and his innate ability to annoy her enough for her to temporarily forget about her distress. Walking onto the balcony, he headed towards the elegantly carved marble table centered between three chairs. His eyes softened as he looked at the three achingly familiar chairs.
For an individual with Ling Wen’s exacting personality, he did have to admit that the chairs were strangely mismatched, yet still suited each other well. His chair—the one closest to the door was large and stately, carved from a dark zitan wood, and lined (rather tastefully in his opinion) with gold. Directly across from it, was the chair closest to the railing. His mouth tightened as he slowly walked over to it.
This chair was carved from a fragrant flowering pear wood. It looked more like a lounge chair than a regular chair, he noted with slight amusement, piled high as it was with pillows and a soft blue blanket draped over the arm. His hand trailed over the tiny crabapple blossoms carved into the wood. Dropping his hand with an almost imperceptible sigh, he turned to the last chair with a slight smile.
This chair was located between the other two, sitting closest to the wall, and where the tea and hot water were located. While this one was clearly of good quality, delicately carved from rosewood with ebony accents; the lack of accouterments save for a lone pillow resting against the chair back made it look almost spartan in comparison.
He headed towards his seat just as Ling Wen came out into the balcony, carelessly seating himself with a grin, as she gracefully took a seat on the plainest chair. While Ling Wen made herself comfortable, Pei Ming poured two cups of wine, pushing one towards Ling Wen. She nodded her thanks as they drank in silence. Pei Ming patiently waited until they had both downed three cups of wine, before he started complaining about his day.
“Ling Wen. Can you believe the audacity of that Wind Master?” Pei Ming snorted in disgust as he thought of the sullen asshole, “I already do him a favor by not beating him to death for calling Shui-xiong so familiarly, but that shameless bastard ruined my temples again today. What the hell is his problem? How does he even have any sort of grievance with me?” With almost theatrical flair, Pei Ming stared at Ling Wen with his most aggrieved face.
He was almost offended when Ling Wen showed zero appreciation, instead giving him a look that clearly said, ‘I honestly don’t care. Please let me drink in peace,’ before deadpanning, “Maybe you stole his lover before?”
Unfortunately, for her, neither her expression nor sarcasm made an iota of difference to him, as he proceeded to continue pouring out all of his frustration and grievances.
“I thought that too! I even followed your advice! I made the effort to ask that scoundrel whether that was the case and I apologized . Ling Wen. Listen to me. I even apologized . Yet that demon continues to pull these idiotic stunts.”
The look of incredulity Ling Wen shot him would have skinned a lesser man. Her tone was drier than the Northern desert, as she asked, “What exactly did you say?”
Pei Ming straightened up as he grinned in anticipation. He just knew that Ling Wen would appreciate his apology. “I said, Wind Master, I apologize for being so handsome and dashing that your lover left you. Although I have no idea who your lover could have been, I’m sure that they came to me of their own volition. Tell me who your lover was, and I will try to reason with her. However, I think that her choosing me shows that she at least has enough common sense to leave you, so I’m not sure how well reason will work. Therefore, it would be better if you would please find some better hobbies and stop bothering me before I--” Pei Ming stopped talking when he saw Ling Wen facepalming, her head dropping into her hand with an audible thunk.
“Old Pei. You are too much.” Ling Wen completely emptied her cup before snatching the bottle to pour herself another cup, emptying that one as well.
“Listen, I apologized to that rascal, and I even said ‘please!’ I could fight back and destroy HIS temples, but--”
“Old Pei, wait a moment.” Ling Wen’s voice suddenly went sharp, sitting straight in her chair as she stopped him to focus on whoever was sending a voice transmitter. Pei Ming narrowed his eyes. He had a sneaking suspicion he knew just who was talking to her, and he hoped that Ling Wen wouldn’t get pulled into whatever troubles always seemed to surround a certain Crown Prince.
Regardless of what happened, this time, Pei Ming thought to himself as he flashed a teasing grin at Ling Wen, this time, he would make sure that man would not take anyone from him again.
He won’t give him the chance.
Please Keep Your Pants On.
“Ling Wen, I have a question. Do you know if the martial god of the North, General Ming Guang has a close female friend?” Xie Lian’s voice seemed to be a little rushed and urgent.
Ling Wen looked straight ahead at the person in question who was carelessly nibbling on some snacks.
When Pei Ming noticed that she was staring at him, he grinned at her, leaning forward on his elbow as he rested his chin on his hand. “What’s wrong?”
“Your Highness, what are you asking this for?” Ling Wen bore holes into Pei Ming’s face, hoping her eyes could melt that idiotic grin off her troublesome playboy friend’s face, and emptied her cup once more. She had no idea how much alcohol she needed to deal with all the BS surrounding her as of late. Seriously. Just how hard was it to stay out of trouble?
“Right now my situation is bad. To tell the truth there are around ten or so dead people chasing me.”
“Ah? That terrible?” She didn’t know whether she should pity Xie Lian for joining the club of people who had to deal with Pei Ming’s flings, or pity herself for being dragged in to deal with his flings. Again .
Xie Lian hurriedly tried to assure her, “It’s not that bad. Just, does he have any? I understand that this question is a bit personal, and I definitely wouldn’t use it for any personal reasons, but it is required for my mission.”
Ling Wen swore in her head and reached for her cup to refill it, but when she grabbed it, she noticed that it was already refilled. She glared at Pei Ming who had the audacity to wink at her, before once again downing it in one go. She grudgingly acknowledged that at least her friend had enough self-awareness to notice that his actions were causing her problems, and had the basic courtesy to help soothe her most definitely incoming headache with alcohol.
Once Ling Wen’s mind went pleasantly hazy around the edges, and she felt a little less like screaming at Pei Ming, she replied, “Your Highness, you’ve misunderstood. The question itself isn’t hard to answer. It is just that Old Pei has too many female friends, so I am unsure which one you are talking about when you ask me so suddenly.”
Ling Wen highly doubted that even Pei Ming knew either the number of women or the identities of who he had fooled around if asked off hand. He’d also probably need someone to provide detailed descriptions of the individual in question, and even then, it would still be hard for him to tell.
Xie Lian sounded slightly harried as he said, “Alright, someone who is highly possessive, extremely prone to jealousy, and has a disability somewhere on her body.”
Ling Wen thought of all Pei Ming’s affairs before coming up with only one person. Xuan Ji. To be certain, she repeated Xie Lian’s descriptions to Pei Ming who confirmed the information with a slightly bemused look.
Ling Wen responded to Xie Lian, “If you put it that way, I indeed know a person who fit the description.”
“Please explain.”
Ling Wen sighed, “Before Old Pei ascended he was a general and on a battlefield, he met with a female general from the enemy side. She was extremely beautiful and her temperament was fierce. That female general’s name was Xuan Ji.”
She frowned. Out of all Pei Ming’s previous affairs, Xuan Ji was the one who stood out the most. When she had first heard of this particular affair, she’d thought it was only a tale in the past, never to return, so she didn’t pay much attention to it. Despite her lack of interest, she still came to know quite a lot about it, due to Shi Wudu’s strange curiosity revolving around this particular affair of Pei Ming’s. She smirked, as she remembered Pei Ming’s worried ramblings, wondering just why Shi Wudu was so fixated on a past fling of his.
Who knew that this knowledge was actually important, and that this affair would in fact resurface? Ling Wen hated people who used cliched idioms with a passion, but she had to admit. People who say that what happens in the past won’t always stay in the past were indeed correct in this situation. She groaned internally.
‘Damn it, Pei Ming you philandering imbecile.’
Ling Wen glared at the smiling Pei Ming, giving a frustrated sigh. Why couldn’t Pei Ming’s past solely haunt Pei Ming instead of dragging her along as well?
With a resigned tone, she explained, “Whenever Old Pei met a beautiful woman, even if that person was holding a knife against his throat, threatening his life, he would seek her company. Xuan Ji led troops and cross swords with him but in the end, she was defeated. “
“That sounds like a beautiful story.” Xie Lian’s voice sounded a little strained.
She laughed humorlessly, “It would have been one, but unfortunately Xuan Ji wanted to be General Pei’s only lover for the rest of their lives.” She snorted at the thought. Based on Pei Ming’s actions and history, wishing for that was wishing for the impossible. Pei Ming enjoyed the thrill of the chase, and from Ling Wen’s knowledge hated constancy, easily getting bored. Commitment and having a monogamous relationship were not really his style.
“It isn’t wrong for someone to wish for a lover to only love them for the rest of their life.”
She nodded in acknowledgment. Yes, it wasn’t wrong for someone to want to be tied down to only one person for the rest of their life. If only Pei Ming was such a person, it would make her life a lot easier... She frowned as she amended that thought. The only time Pei Ming had refrained from continuing his ongoing affairs, even stopping from finding new ones was when Shi Wudu had unknowingly held the handle to a leash of Pei Ming’s own making. This leash still kept Pei Ming chained down even centuries after his death. Ling Wen would know that Pei Ming had truly moved on when that leash finally broke and Pei Ming at long last resumed his many affairs. Perhaps a little headache here and there would be worth seeing Pei Ming back to normal.
Sighing, she replied, “It indeed isn’t wrong but when two countries are at war against one another it would be impossible to continue such a relationship. General Pei and Xuan Ji had an agreement of having a short term relationship with no morning after. And to speak completely frankly, if he doesn’t lead you on with another woman it could be considered as not bad already.”
Mentally, Ling Wen qualified her statement, ‘Unless you are Shi Wudu and are the one obliviously leading Pei Ming around by his nose.’ While the question of what would happen after a passionate night was still up in the air, based on her knowledge of her friends, Pei Ming would probably be the one who would never agree to just one night, and would try to recapture the other.
Her flow of information to Xie Lian continued, despite her amusement, “However, Xuan Ji was a noblewoman from a general’s family. If she wanted something, she would do whatever it took to obtain it, even if she had to kill.”
“Wait a moment, tell me does she have a disability? Where is it?”
“It’s her--” She blinked when Xie Lian’s voice transmitter suddenly ended, cutting her off.
Seeing that she was done talking, Pei Ming leaned forward and asked with a rakish smile, “So, what happened? Why were my romantic affairs suddenly being brought up?”
“Wipe that smile off your face. You shouldn’t be allowed to smile when you are causing trouble for me. “ Ling Wen scowled ferociously when Pei Ming ignored her, continuing to smile irritatingly.
She growled, “Apparently Xuan Ji is causing trouble and was the one behind the bride snatching mission. Why is it when there is trouble relating to females, you are always somehow involved? Please choose better and less troublesome partners.“
“Eh? Wasn’t she just a weak ghost that couldn’t do much trouble?”
“It was originally like that, but it seems with Qi Rong’s help, she has become a wrath level ghost. What do you want to do?” Ling Wen tapped her fingers against the surface of the table, waiting for his response.
In theory, they could leave everything for Xie Lian to deal with since it was his mission. Then again, the mission was in Pei Ming’s territory and involved Pei Ming’s private affairs. Luckily, Pei Ming might be many things, but he wasn’t an indecisive person, so she didn’t need to wait long for the hamster wheel in his head to start turning to come up with a conclusion on how he wished to deal with the situation.
He waved his hand nonchalantly, “Send Pei Su over to deal with the situation.”
And of course, he pushed the problem for someone else to solve. She did feel a bit of relief that Pei Ming wasn’t heading out, but it was mostly overridden by her irritation at Pei Ming. When she raised one of her eyebrows at Pei Ming’s response, he simply smiled, raising his cup of wine meaningfully towards her.
“I am busy.”
She blinked. That’s right they were currently both busy. She quickly sent a voice transmission to Pei Su, informing him of the situation and dispatched him to deal with it.
What Did You Say?
Pei Ming had full faith that Pei Su, his hand-picked successor, would be more than capable of dealing with Xuan Ji, so he continued to happily drink his osmanthus wine while resuming his teasing—his conversation with Ling Wen. He was rudely interrupted when Pei Su messaged him on his personal spirit communication array.
“General Pei Ming, Xuan Ji wishes to meet you and made it clear that she curses you to never fall in love with anyone. She further said that even if you do fall in love one day, that she curses you to be as miserable as her.”
Pei Ming sighed, he was starting to regret ever getting involved with her. “Tell her that her wishes and curses will never be fulfilled.” He gazed pensively at the chair across from him, still piled with pillows as his hand brushed against the tassels hanging by his waist. He knew that there was no way he would ever end up like Xuan Ji—even if he was never able to obtain his beloved.
The Water Master Died?
“PEI MING! ARE YOU REFUSING TO SEE ME BECAUSE OF THAT BITCH? WHAT IS SO GOOD ABOUT THAT DISGRACED AND DISGUSTING WATER TYRANT? COMPARED TO ME, HOW THE HELL IS HE BETTER? PEI MING, COME OUT AND FACE ME!”
Xie Lian watched Xuan Ji’s meltdown with a confused stare. While he understood her resentment towards Pei Ming, he couldn’t understand Xuan Ji’s resentment towards the Water Master. The more she continued to rant and yell, the nastier her words got. It got to the point where he couldn’t just sit there and watch as someone badmouthed his friend for no reason.
“Xuan Ji, I understand your resentment towards General Pei Ming, but why did you also drag in the Water Master?” Xie Lian approached Xuan Ji, trying to understand why exactly she had this strange misunderstanding about his friend’s relationship with the general.
From what Xie Lian remembered during his conversations with the Water Master, the two were simply good friends. They were not lovers, as Xuan Ji was currently implying. Besides, Shi Wudu’s friendship with General Pei Ming hadn’t seemed to be going very well during that time. Xie Lian remembered whenever the Water Master talked about General Pei Ming, his voice would at first be filled with happiness, eyes brightening with the memories, before dimming with an almost palpable sadness.
He tried to reason with her, “From my understanding, they are not lovers, but are simply friends. Are you sure you're not misunderstanding anything?”
If anything, his words riled up Xuan Ji even more. “Misunderstanding? WHAT MISUNDERSTANDING? I’M TALKING ABOUT THE WATER TYRANT! THAT WANTON BITCH DID THIS AND THAT WITH PEI MING. THEY WERE FREAKING FLAUNTING THEIR PRIVATE AFFAIRS TO THE ENTIRE WORLD AND YOU CALL IT A MISUNDERSTANDING?”
Xuan Ji continued to struggle as she reached into her sleeves and threw a tattered object at Xie Lian, howling. “SEE FOR YOURSELF AND TELL ME HOW IT IS A MISUNDERSTANDING!”
When Xie Lian bent down and looked at what Xuan Ji threw at him, he saw a torn and crumpled book. The book was extremely mistreated, bearing clear signs of her resentment and anger towards its contents. He picked it up and dusted all the dirt away to get a clearer look at the book’s cover.
‘...General’s Resentment?’ He tilted his head in even more confusion. He’d actually seen this book often, as it was extremely popular amongst female audiences, and was constantly being bought. While he’d heard of it multiple times, he’d never been curious enough to find out what it was about.
Opening it, Xie Lian began skimming through the book. As he continued reading the novel, his eyes got wider and wider, his face burning brighter than a hot coal. He quickly slammed the book shut, holding it in his hands and staring at it as if it were a dangerous beast. He tried to calm his chaotic mind and think rationally.
He could see where Xuan Ji’s misunderstanding might come about. If one were to base their understanding of the Water Master and General Pei Ming’s relationship based on this book, then it really couldn’t be said that they were just friends. By any definition of the word. Some of those—blushing even more furiously, Xie Lian cut that thought off.
He coughed uncomfortably. Regardless, there was no way this book could be considered a truthful retelling of their relationship. After all, mortals loved creating stories and telling tales about gods that were not always true.
Xie Lian frowned slightly as he remembered his last encounter with Pei Ming. Because the Water Master had told Xie Lian it was a misunderstanding, he had let the other god off rather easily when he’d found him seemingly trying to get the Water Master to sell his body to him. His frown deepened. If he found out that the contents of that book held any inkling of truth, he certainly would not let the general off nearly as easily this time.
Waving the book at Xuan Ji, he tried to placate her again, “This is just a book created by some mortal. Whether or not it holds any truth is unknown without further investigation. You can’t just use this book to condemn someone. Even if you did,” He drew himself up, “you could only blame the General instead of the Water Master. Based on the information here, it was the General who forced himself on the Water Master. The Water Master even fought back, but was eventually overpowered by General Pei Ming’s overbearing strength. In fact,” Xie Lian felt himself get a little more fired up, ending righteously, “The person who should be held accountable for all of those coerced affairs should be the General.”
Xie Lian preemptively plugged his ears, but could still clearly hear Xuan Ji shriek, her eyes bulging out, “WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT PEI MING SHOULD BE THE ONLY ONE HELD ACCOUNTABLE? CAN’T YOU READ PROPERLY? THE WATER TYRANT WAS THE ONE BEING SHAMELESS! THAT SLUT MUST HAVE BEEN THE ONE WHO SEDUCED HIM!”
“Please mind your words.” Xie Lian sternly responded.
“Mind my words? MIND MY WORDS? WHY SHOULD I? That DISGRACEFUL WHORE got what he had coming for getting involved and trying to TAKE things that DIDN’T BELONG TO HIM.” Xuan Ji continued to scream and curse as Xie Lian lit multiple candles for his abused ears.
He could feel some sympathy for her situation, as having resentment towards someone who wronged you, was understandable. However, blatant slander wasn’t something that Xie Lian could agree with. Xuan Ji was simply acting unreasonably and was only working herself up more. He decided it would be better to knock her out for the sake of keeping her from going crazier, to make capture easier, as well as to save his and everyone’s ears.
Clear on his next course of action, Xie Lian walked towards the two generals holding her down and raised his hand. He halted his hand mid-strike when Xuan Ji screamed out, “I AM GLAD THAT SHAMELESS SLUT DIED A HORRIBLE DEATH!” She laughed maniacally, staring Xie Lian down, “It saved me the trouble of hunting that bitch down myself.”
‘...What?’
Xie Lian’s eyes widened as the words registered in his brain, his arm dropping weakly by his side as he staggered back, staring at Xuan Ji’s twisted face. Her mouth was still moving, but he couldn’t hear a word she said. Shivers ran down his spine and through his skin as if he had been struck by a bolt of Heavenly Tribulation lightning.
The Water Master had... died? How? He was the Water Master. He had always been so strong and steadfast. He couldn’t have died. He was supposed to have reascended. He was supposed to...
Impossible.
Xie Lian’s heart was full of ice as he stood there in disbelief, unable to say a word because… Because…
Shi Wudu was dead.
Dead .
Was that the reason why he’d never returned, suddenly disappearing in the night? That wasn’t possible. It just wasn’t. That ghost had to be lying.
She had to be.
He ran up to Xuan Ji who was still cackling and roughly grabbed her shoulders, gritting out “Stop. Lying.”
“Were you living with your head buried in the sand? How did you not know that the Water Tyrant died?” Xuan Ji sneered.
Pei Su walked up to Xie Lian, setting a calming hand on his shoulder, “The Water Master Shi Wudu died centuries ago. The new Water Master is his younger brother, Shi Qingxuan.”
Xie Lian dropped Xuan Ji roughly, pulling away from Pei Su’s hand. His breath was shaky, almost panting for air. He frantically asked, “What happened to the previous Water Master?”
“What exactly happened to him is still unknown. As you probably know, there can only be one Water Master, and once Shi Qingxuan ascended as the new Water Master it could only mean that the previous one died.” Fu Yao looked down to the ground, sounding slightly subdued, for once not rolling his eyes.
Xie Lian stared at Fu Yao’s regretful face. His mind whirled. This—this wasn’t something that Xuan Ji just came up with to curse the Water Mast—no the previous Water Master.
“The new Water Master’s ascension gave us a good indication of when the previous one died, but not how or where.” Pei Su nodded at Fu Yao’s statement, confirming the situation.
“When--” He cleared the grief choking his throat, “When did he die?” Xie Lian finished shakily.
“He died shortly after his banishment from Heaven. His body’s whereabouts remain unknown. I’d advise against it if you plan to look for him. His body is likely long gone, since not even Ling Wen was able to find any leads.” Nan Feng’s voice was filled with pity as he grabbed Xie Lian’s shoulders, trying to stabilize and ground him.
Xie Lian stared at Nan Feng blankly, “Shortly after his banishment?”
His mind was in chaos, his worldview had been completely upended. Everything he’d just heard, rearranged the knowledge he’d long held as truths, shaking him to his core.
‘Was that why he never came back? The reason why he left wasn’t because he was tired of me and all my problems? He didn’t leave on purpose. He died. He died and I never even knew.’
I didn’t even realize.
When Xie Lian closed his eyes, he could still remember the aching feeling of loneliness and bitterness. After his parents had hung themselves, he’d stayed at that house just waiting. He had waited for the Water Master’s return, he had waited for that comforting presence. It had taken him a long time until he finally understood and acknowledged the fact that just like everyone else, the Water Master was also finished with him, and was no longer coming back. Overflowing in despair, he had tried to end everything by hanging himself, but it didn’t work.
Xie Lian touched his throat as he struggled to breathe.
They weren’t supposed to be able to die, he thought hysterically. He should know. He’d tried. How could the Water Master have died when he was also wearing a curse shackle?
He stood there, lost in his confusion and regrets, only snapping out of his daze when Xuan Ji screeched, “I KNOW WHERE THE BODY IS!” Xie Lian’s gaze sharpened, honing in on Xuan Ji’s gleeful face.
She knew where the body was.
His heart quickened. He needed to make this up to his old friend. He had to fix this. Finding his body was the least he could do now. Xie Lian slowly stepped towards Xuan Ji, attention fixed on every one of her words.
“PEI MING! IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHERE THE BODY IS, COME AND SEE ME. IF NOT, THE PERSON WHO IS KEEPING THE BODY FOR ME WILL SLOWLY PEEL OFF HIS “TENDER JADE-LIKE SKIN” THAT YOU APPARENTLY LIKED SO MUCH, AND CUT HIS LIMBS OFF JUST FOR YOU.” Xie Lian straightened his shoulders in determination. It seemed that Xuan Ji’s only condition to provide information was for Pei Ming to come and see her. He’d make sure Pei Ming came.
Xie Lian turned towards Pei Su, “Please tell General Pei Ming to come immediately.”
Pei Su nodded, quickly re-opening the spiritual communication array to contact Pei Ming.
Where Are You?
Pei Ming had put all thoughts of the issue with Xuan Ji out of his mind, thinking the situation was dealt with, when Pei Su suddenly messaged him on his personal communication array. He was pleasantly surprised, expecting Pei Su to proudly announce that everything had been nicely handled. However, that pleasant feeling quickly vanished.
With an extremely shaky voice, Pei Su relayed, “Xuan Ji said that she knows where the previous Water Master’s body is.”
*BANG*
Pei Ming abruptly stood up, his chair crashing to the ground with the force of his movements as he headed for the balcony door. Ling Wen immediately threw herself over to him, and dragged onto his arm, forcing him to stop. He stared hard at the door, taking several deep breaths, fist sporadically clenching, before finally calming enough to tell Ling Wen what he’d just learned.
“Xuan Ji claimed that she knows where Shui-xiong is.” His voice felt rushed and shaky. He needed to leave now so he could quickly find out what she knew about Shui-xiong. His heart beat faster and faster, as his blood pounded with anticipation.
He needed to find Shi Wudu’s body. At the very least, he could finally give him a proper funeral. It was something his Shui-xiong deserved. His heart ached fiercely as he thought of the lonely centuries missing his prideful and stubborn friend. He had thought he’d moved on. He’d been trying to move on, but truthfully, he had never been able to.
Ling Wen’s hands loosened, but she didn’t let his arm go. She stared up at him, her eyes searching, “Are you sure this isn’t a trap? For centuries, we’ve been unable to find a single scrap of information. How is it possible that one of your past affairs suddenly has this knowledge?”
He knew. He logically knew what Ling Wen said was correct. He wished he didn’t know it so well. They had searched desperately for Shi Wudu’s missing body, putting all the resources at their disposal into the effort, but were still unable to find it. For centuries there had been nothing. There was absolutely no information. It was certainly suspicious that Xuan Ji, who had committed grave crimes just to meet him, would suddenly have information. However, he couldn’t help but hope. He needed to hope.
Pei Ming looked straight into Ling Wen’s eyes, quietly responding, “Ling Wen. We follow the waves. If we go against them, we will drown. That has been our unspoken rule. When one of us has troubles, we will all be there, regardless of whether we choose to get involved or not.”
Pei Ming gently pulled his arm out of Ling Wen’s grasp, turning to leave. When he heard Ling Wen’s resigned sigh, and the even sound of her footsteps following him, he smiled. This was how it should be. How it should have been.
When facing the waves, they could only move with them. Fighting against their commands were fruitless and ultimately, foolish.
And one thing Pei Ming was not, was a fool.
Please Stop
Just as Pei Ming and Ling Wen were about to enter the mortal realm, Ling Wen urgently gripped Pei Ming’s arms, looking up at him.
“Old Pei. Remember this could be a trick. It has been centuries since we last heard anything. It is highly unlikely that her claims are real. It is best to not to get your hopes up. “
Pei Ming looked away, jaw clenching, “I know.”
“Do you?” Ling Wen's grip tightened, her eyes narrowing. She refused to lose another friend—especially to such an obvious trick. Ling Wen knew that Pei Ming was definitely smarter than this. Unfortunately, whenever something involved Shi Wudu, all his judgment would be lost, losing his intelligence, and becoming a brainless monkey.
Pei Ming had to move on, and he would never be able to if he was always running after every hint and possibility of Shi Wudu’s location. He couldn’t continue to chase after the mere scent of someone that has passed. Pei Ming had been doing better, but now all that work has been undone with the mention of a mere possibility of information around Shi Wudu.
She sighed. It would be better if she called for assistance from other gods on their journey. Especially because they were walking into an obvious trap. However, not many gods would be willing to help them, the three tumors were unfortunately notorious and not well-liked.
The only gods who would be eager to get involved would be Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan. She debated calling for them, but stopped when she saw the quiet confidence and determination burning in Pei Ming’s eyes. She smiled ruefully as she nodded at him, dropping her hand. She really needed to stop doubting their strength. They were the three tumors. They didn’t need help from anyone else.
They were anything but weak.
Besides, she smirked internally. Pei Ming would absolutely throw a fit if she called for either one of them—especially if He Xuan showed up. Regardless, there was no need for those two to know anything. It was better to keep them in the dark—especially because whatever Xuan Ji had to say was unlikely to be true.
Despite what her brain kept telling her, she couldn’t help slightly increasing her pace as she followed after Pei Ming.
It Is Where?
Unlike when Little General Pei appeared, the two new gods approaching them did so with little fanfare. Xie Lian recognized one of the gods as Ling Wen, which meant the god next to her who seemed to almost overflow with arrogance, was most likely General Pei Ming—the person Xuan Ji was screaming for.
Xie Lian didn’t have an opportunity to greet them, because the moment Ling Wen and Pei Ming landed, they ignored everyone else, beelining for Xuan Ji.
“Pei Lang! Oh, Pei Lang! You finally came to see me.” Xuan Ji smiled widely as she reached out for Pei Ming, but the moment Ling Wen moved out from behind his body, Xuan Ji’s eyebrows pinched together, her smile dropping into a sneer.
“Pei Lang, were you busy because of her? Was she the reason why you couldn’t see me?” Xuan Ji violently struggled, shaking off the generals attempting to hold her down. However, just as she was about to clutch at Pei Ming’s legs, Ling Wen tugged him back, causing her to ungainly sprawl onto the ground.
Pei Ming bent down, gently grabbing her by the elbows to help her up. Xuan Ji’s eyes sparkled, focused only on Pei Ming’s face, “Pei Lang, you’re definitely here because you love me too! I’ll kill that other woman for touching you. I’ll kill her! That wench definitely seduced you--”
Seeing that Xuan Ji had not stopped her unstable ranting ever since Pei Ming had appeared, Xie Lian decided to take matters into his own hands. He determinedly walked up to the trio, lightly coughing into his fist to grab their attention.
“Now that Pei Ming has come, can you tell us where the Water Master’s body is?”
Pei Ming interjected hurriedly, “Xuan Ji, is it true that you know where Shui-xiong’s body is? Xuan Ji. You must tell me.” Pei Ming’s eyes burned into Xuan Ji’s as they scanned her expression carefully, his grip tightening almost imperceptibly on her arms.
Instead of answering, Xuan Ji let out a bitter laugh. “Pei Lang, I’ve seen that disgraceful whore before. What does he have that I am lacking? If it’s because you suddenly like guys, I can become one too,” She drew closer, purring, “I can fulfill anything you like. Anything.” Pushing herself into Pei Ming’s chest, she lightly drew circles on it, looking up at his stony face sultrily. She leaned into his ears and whispered, “I bet that I can pleasure you better.”
Xie Lian's eyes immediately averted from the increasingly inappropriate scene, avoiding Xuan Ji’s shamelessness. Judging by the red faces all around him, everyone else also heard her attempts to mark her territory loud and clear. He cleared his throat again. They were getting nowhere fast, and Xie Lian had been patiently waiting for Xuan Ji to provide the information she had promised.
Just as he was about to question her about Shi Wudu’s location once again, Fu Yao stepped forward, angrily demanding, “Will you just give us the previous Water Master’s location? Once you do, we will be able to leave you fucking sickening lovebirds alone for your honeymoon.” Fu Yao rolled his eyes as he pulled Xuan Ji away from General Pei Ming’s tense form.
Xuan Ji glowered hatefully at them, finally spitting out, “You want that bitch’s body so bad? Fine.”
Her face broke into a ghoulish leer as she hissed, “It is in the Ghost City.”
Notes:
Among us lobby with the Three Tumors, Xie Lian trio, HX, HC, JW and SQX.
FX’s body is discovered by XL.
*SWD has voted*
XL: HC and I found the body at navigation. It can’t be HC since he was by my side the whole time.
HC: I am protecting gege.
XL: Wait why did SWD already vote?
MQ: This meeting is useless, let's skip.
*MQ has voted*
HX: One of the imposters is PM. He has been following SWD, he wants to kill him.
*HX has voted.*
PM: Huh? I am trying to protect him. You are trying to kill him, you keep following him.
*PM has voted*
SQX: I trust HX and am voting PM.
*SQX has voted*
PM: Wait, wait don’t just vote.
*LW has voted*
PM: LW who did you vote for?
LW: . . .. .
PM: LW!!!!
XL: Wait let's first talk things out. SWD who did you vote for?
SWD: JW, he sus.
*JW has voted*
JW: That’s cute.
SWD: Fuck you too.
*XL and HC have voted.*PM was ejected. PM was not an imposter.
Results: HC, HX, SQX, LW voted PM.
PM voted HX.
XL and MQ skipped.
JW voted SWD. SWD voted for JW.
Chapter 12: Pieces Slowly Coming Together.
Notes:
Warning: Soul eating soul and mention of suicide.
(I am not sure if I should put cannibalism tag for soul eating soul.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
When He Xuan heard that the infamous Crown Prince Xie Lian, had once again ascended, he knew that he had to report the updated situation to Hua Cheng. Additionally, in a fortuitous turn of events, after peeking at the documents by Ling Wen’s desk during his regular information request on Wudu’s whereabouts, he was also able to figure out exactly which mission Xie Lian was currently assigned to complete—information Hua Cheng would be sure to appreciate.
He Xuan shook his head ruefully as he recalled how he’d first gotten entangled with the infamous Crimson Rain Sought Flower, during one of his more desperate attempts to find information on Shi Wudu. It had been around 600 centuries after the previous Water Master’s replacement ascended, and he’d just left Ling Wen’s office after hearing yet again that she had no information. Frustrated at the lack of answer from both the Heavenly and the Mortal realms, he had resorted to looking to the Ghost realm for information.
Mind made up, He Xuan had disguised himself, sneaking into Ghost City to search for clues on Shi Wudu. He was in the middle of his investigation when he was found out by the city’s notorious master, Hua Cheng. Luckily, the situation was amusing enough to Hua Cheng that rather than completely exposing He Xuan or even trying to kill him for infiltrating Ghost City, he instead offered a trade. In exchange for concealing He Xuan’s activities in Ghost City, as well as providing any information discovered about Shi Wudu, He Xuan would become a spy for Hua Cheng.
Normally, no god would ever deign to work together with a ghost, let alone one of the Supremes. However, He Xuan didn’t care at all. He was willing to do whatever it took, desperate as he was for the chance to find more information on Shi Wudu. If he had to work with a ghost, so be it. Even if he had to descend from Heaven and become a ghost king himself, he would do it for his Wudu.
In the end, the deal ended up working for the two of them, as they both understood and respected the other’s ultimate goal, with He Xuan promising to keep an eye on heaven for Xie Lian if he reascended, while Hua Chang kept his eye out for any information pertaining to Shi Wudu.
He Xuan huffed out a sigh, gazing contemplatively at the delicate bracelet he held in his hand. Shi Wudu had to be out there somewhere. Even though another Water Master had ascended, Shi Wudu’s missing body was enough to cast doubt on the exact circumstances around his disappearance. His eyes hardened. He would never give up searching. Not until he had Shi Wudu by his side. Besides. The only reason why he hadn’t found his Wudu yet was simply because he wasn’t looking hard enough.
Slipping the bracelet back into his inner robes, he prepared to head to Ghost City to report the news to Hua Cheng. On his way out of Heaven, he ran into a smiling Shi Qingxuan. He Xuan barely stopped himself from wincing as Shi Qingxuan waved wildly at him. Whenever he saw the new Water Master, his breath would always stop for a moment, heart skipping a beat before filling with an overwhelming sense of disappointment. He looked so much like Shi Wudu—and of course he would—he was his Wudu’s younger brother.
“He-xiong! Where are you going?” Shi Qingxuan bounded up to him with a grin, eyes bright as he lightly tugged at his sleeve. “If it’s not anywhere important, let’s go for a drink together!”
Gently tugging his sleeve out of the other’s grip, He Xuan replied, “Another time. I am going to visit my temple.” He knew that his habit of visiting his own temple was widely gossiped about in Heaven, as a god lighting incense or praying to their own statues was generally viewed to be quite embarrassing. However, He Xuan felt no such shame—especially when the one he was kneeling and praying to was Shi Wudu. Regardless of what others thought, it had become his custom to visit his temple whenever he was displeased, stressed, or simply to calm himself before or after a mission.
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes dimmed a bit as he pouted, “He-xiong you should make sure you’re relaxing enough. Don’t overwork yourself!”
“Mmm.” He Xuan answered noncommittally as he looked to the side.
“Oh I know! We should go to the mortal realm and have some fun! I heard that there are a couple of festivals coming up.”
“No.”
“Come on He-xiong, you are my best friend.” Shi Qingxuan whined as he lightly smacked He Xuan’s arm with his fan.
Dodging away from the teasing hits, He Xuan’s heart clenched, as he saw the familiar fan by Shi Qingxuan’s waist. Uncharacteristically for the usually stylish Shi Qingxuan, the new Water Master always had two matching fans hanging from his belt. However, his choice made perfect sense knowing that one of the fans once belonged to his brother; a last memento of the previous Water Master, Shi Qingxuan had named the fan Qing Shui.
For some unknown reason, after Shi Qingxuan had cleaned and repaired Qing Shui, it had turned into a sentient spiritual device, often chiding Shi Qingxuan’s words and actions by lightly tapping him on the head whenever it deemed the god was acting too childishly. It was also highly protective of Shi Qingxuan, creating water barriers around him whenever it deemed someone a threat, much to Shi Qingxuan’s displeasure.
Shi Qingxuan often whined about how Qing Shui was messing with his life by always ruining his fun and forcing potential friends away. However, He Xuan thought with disappointment, whenever he offered to take the device off of Shi Qingxuan’s hands, the man would immediately and firmly decline the offer.
As if summoned by his thoughts, Qing Shui wiggled itself out of the fan holder by Shi Qingxuan’s waist, and started to lightly smack the god’s head, seemingly scolding Shi Qingxuan’s childish behavior around He Xuan.
Taking advantage of that moment of distraction, and sending a silent thanks to Qing Shui, He Xuan proceeded to ditch Shi Qingxuan while he was busy ducking away and flailing at Qing Shui’s scolding. Finally descending to the mortal realm, he quickly made his way through the familiar doors of his temple.
Reverently walking up to the pair of statues dominating the center of the temple, he gazed at Shi Wudu’s carved visage, before his eyes fell to where the statues’ hands joined, hand clenching slightly. He could still remember the feel of that delicate and elegant hand in his—it would have been so easy to have just kept him captive then. He should have been more forceful to make Wudu stay. Shaking himself from his stupor, he lit the incense sticks in a practiced motion and dropped to his knees in front of Shi Wudu’s image, fiercely promising the same promise he had been making for the past 800 years.
Wudu, I WILL find you. I promise I will keep you safe this time. Please… Please just wait for me.
What Would He Think?
He Xuan walked along Ghost City’s seemingly endless streets, beset on all sides by a riot of noise, colors, and smells—a far cry from the peaceful temple he had just left. The streets teemed with all sorts of beings, the undead and even some humans mingled freely amongst the roiling masses. The sides of the streets were filled with various stores and stalls selling all sorts of wares, lit by the glow of hanging red lanterns. His nose wrinkled a bit as he stared in distaste at some of the food stalls, the obscene and unhygienic preparations enough to turn the strongest individual’s stomach.
As he continued towards Hua Cheng’s palace, he couldn’t help but wonder as he often did, what Shi Wudu would have thought of this place. Would he be fascinated by the alieness of Ghost City or be completely disgusted? Would he be interested in interacting with the inhabitants or ignore them completely?
He continued his musings, deftly side stepping would-be pickpockets, when a flash of color caught his eyes through the chaos. Turning towards it, he approached a stall selling goods (most likely stolen) from the mortal realm. Ignoring the frog-shaped ghost wheedlingly shoving various items into his face, he scanned the merchant’s wares, immediately seeing what had caught his eye; a silvery-blue brocade pouch, the peaceful color standing out amongst the usual riotous colors within the Ghost Market. Picking up the pouch, he tuned out the shopkeeper’s croaking babble as he carefully inspected it, noting the pouch’s silver silk lining and the soft and smooth exterior adorned with silk embroidery in a delicate bamboo pattern.
He Xuan’s eyes softened as his fingers brushed over the embroidery, reminded of Shi Wudu’s strange fixation towards fans and bamboo. He thought fondly back to when he and Wudu used to walk around the market in his home village. There had been a stall selling bamboo plants, and whenever they would pass it, the other man would gaze at the plants with eyes full of longing and fondness, the look turning melancholy as they walked away. Every time they passed, He Xuan offered to buy a plant for him (if he’d had the money, he would have bought the whole damn stall), but Shi Wudu always refused.
Feeling the softness of the pouch’s fabric, he huffed an amused breath, knowing how his Wudu did so love soft things, but in the other’s eyes, nothing was ever quite soft enough. The only time that Shi Wudu was able to fully relax was when the man was nestled in soft objects. Memories of their late night tutoring sessions filled his mind, Shi Wudu bundling up in a blanket and unashamedly hogging all the pillows as he patiently tutored He Xuan for the imperial exams.
His eyes turned stormy as he remembered the last time he had seen Shi Wudu, still too poor and unestablished as a god to provide anything except for a single soft blanket. Unfortunately, goods made from soft fabrics were expensive, and were thus luxuries he had been unable to afford at the time. He was still filled with bitter regret and disappointment in his own inadequacy for being unable to provide for Shi Wudu. He’d always wondered if at that time, he had been able to provide Shi Wudu that comfort, would the man have still left? His mouth turned down, eyes dark. If he’d have known that would have been the last time he had seen him, he should have chained the man to his side to stop him from escaping.
He sighed as he thought instead of the present. It was such a bitter irony that now that he could provide those luxuries for his Wudu—now that he was finally strong enough to protect him, the man was gone and out of his reach. Regardless, He Xuan thought to himself as he reached into his sleeve for his money pouch. He wanted to see Wudu’s smile as he received this gift and everything he wanted to give to him. If—no, when they met again, he would definitely keep Wudu safe by his side. His eyes heated as he smiled softly. He would not give the other man a chance to leave him yet again.
Your Beloved Came, But Where’s Mine?
Finally reaching Paradise Manor, He Xuan casually pushed open the door and welcomed himself in.
He was immediately greeted by a person wearing a dark robe and a ghost face mask. He Xuan was mildly irritated that Hua Cheng didn’t come to see him directly, instead sending his servant Yin Yu in his place, but let the irritation pass because he had other business he needed to get to after passing the information along.
Jumping straight to business, he told Yin Yu, “Inform Hua Cheng that the god, Xie Lian has ascend--” He blinked as Hua Cheng appeared right in front of him.
“Gege just ascended? Where is he now?” Hua Cheng eagerly asked.
He Xuan suppressed an eye roll at Hua Cheng’s behavior, “He is currently dealing with a ghost bridegroom in the North.”
Patting He Xuan’s shoulder in a clear dismissal, Hua Cheng started to head out the door with a grin, quickly calling out with a laugh, “By the way, I saw something interesting on the way here. A grievously damaged soul has appeared near the Bloody River. You might want to take a look at it.”
He Xuan narrowed his eyes at Hua Cheng’s words, “What am I supposed to do with it? Dispose of it?”
Hua Cheng actually halted for a second before he quietly responded, “What you decide to do is up to you.” Casually waving without bothering to look back, he left He Xuan and Yin Yu with those parting words.
What Is This?
Still a little perplexed by Hua Cheng’s strange information and even stranger behavior, He Xuan strolled to the Bloody River, searching along the river banks, but found nothing unusual. He sighed. If anyone besides Hua Cheng had told him to search for something, but sent him to an area that looked completely empty, he would have thought it was an ill-thought out prank of some sort and left instead of conducting a thorough search.
Closing his eyes, he concentrated on the different energies in the area. Normally, finding a soul was easy work—especially for He Xuan, who was able to sense spiritual energy quite well. However, because the soul in question was apparently quite damaged, it would require more concentration and patience to detect its whereabouts. He Xuan nearly gave up in frustration before finding the soul, believing that Hua Cheng might very well have tried to prank him, before finally finding the damaged soul on his third and last careful sweep of the area.
He narrowed his eyes as he studied the soul in question, submerged slightly below the murky surface of the Bloody River, absolutely covered in the viscous red liquid that gave the river its name. The damaged soul appeared to be almost completely shattered, completely encompassed by a series of arrays, and was further surrounded by a number of smaller yet complete souls that were also trapped by an array forming a strange box-like formation.
He Xuan furrowed his brow as he studied the arrays with a critical eye. The outer array around the souls seemed to bind the souls to each other, forcing them into their formation around the larger soul, and also seemed to bind all of the souls to that spot in the river. The inner sets of arrays, only encircling the larger, damaged soul seemed to prevent the soul from dissipating, while also suppressing its energy signature, which explained He Xuan’s additional difficulty in finding the soul. Frowning, he noted the strangeness of going through all the trouble of restraining and preventing a soul from moving on, yet not keeping it captured, instead releasing the soul into the wild.
Normally, if a soul no longer wished to remain, or had let go of their attachment to their former mortal life, it would simply reenter the cycle of reincarnation. However, judging from how damaged the soul was, it appeared as if it had actually tried to self-destruct, in an attempt to completely cease its existence. The only reason why it hadn’t succeeded seemed to be because the arrays encircling it forced it to remain in the mortal realm.
Finished analyzing the arrays, he raised a brow in surprise at the strange actions of the souls within the arrays. At first glance, it looked as if the broken soul was sucking in the surrounding souls to gather energy to heal itself, but looking closer, his eyes widened. It seemed like the smaller souls were... sacrificing themselves to heal the larger soul? The souls seemed to have separated themselves into three roles. One soul would restrain the wounded soul, one soul would force themselves into the damaged soul, while the remaining souls surrounded the entire process, as if forming a protective wall.
The small souls were rather well organized in their process, working like clockwork, as each time one of them was absorbed, the soul restraining the damaged soul would take its place, with one of the souls forming the protective wall, moving to restrain the larger soul.
The wounded soul seemed to struggle fiercely against the restraining soul, as it tried to avoid absorbing the souls. It shook and trembled, almost seeming to soundlessly wail in despair, as the small souls forced themselves into it, forcing the soul to devour them and heal itself. Each time the souls were successfully absorbed, the wounded soul would heal a little more, but it continued its violent struggles, uncaring that it was damaging itself even more. Despite the soul’s attempts to self-destruct, the array and the other souls continually healing it prevented any success.
He Xuan could understand why Hua Cheng would have been interested in this damaged soul, since it was quite a unique situation. This was a soul that clearly no longer wanted to exist or heal itself. However, due to the spell it was forced to remain, and due to the crazy souls surrounding it, it was forced to heal. He wondered just who this soul had been, that someone had gone to such great lengths to painstakingly force the soul back together.
Patiently waiting, He Xuan watched as all of the souls slowly pushed themselves into the larger soul, the last soul to go seeming to gently nuzzle the larger soul before pressing itself into the other with an almost audible sigh. While the large soul was still badly injured, it was no longer in danger of completely shattering apart.
However, after the last soul had been absorbed, the soul began violently trembling, slamming itself against the arrays, over and over again. He Xuan would have been worried about the soul damaging itself, but both the inner and outer arrays encircling it prevented the soul from any further harm.
Fascinated by its actions, he watched until the soul tired itself out, unable to throw itself against the arrays, trembling lightly as it rolled back and forth within the array formation. Only once it had completely stopped moving, did He Xuan move to pick it up.
He Xuan closed his eyes and concentrated on breaking the outer array formation surrounding the soul. He huffed an impressed breath. Whoever made these arrays was extremely skilled and powerful. He Xuan had always prided himself on his proficiency at arrays, but it still took him an embarrassing amount of time to crack and break through the outer array formations. Unfortunately, no matter what he did, he was unable to break the inner array that encircled the damaged soul.
Once the outer array formation was broken, the soul immediately tried to escape his grasp. He Xuan tightened his hands, trapping it firmly, and preventing it from any further movements. However, a tickling sensation on his palms caused him to quickly look down. His eyes widened as he saw that the soul was once again trembling, and with an extremely violent movement, began cracking apart, despite the protective array around it.
Alarmed, He Xuan quickly injected his spiritual energy into the soul, forcibly healing it. Sweat trickled down his temple as he poured his spiritual energy in. It took an immense amount of spiritual energy to heal a broken soul, though unfortunately, it was also a much less effective method to heal a soul, compared to if the soul healed by devouring other souls.
Overwhelming the soul with his spiritual energy, it wobbled a little once he’d healed it, and appeared to almost drunkenly rub itself against his palms, before turning a lovely pinkish hue and gently descending into the palms of his hands. The soul’s form lightly rose and fell as it lay there, seemingly asleep.
He Xuan mentally ran down a list of the supplies he was carrying, trying to figure out whether he had anything he could safely store the soul in, but coming up empty. Left with no other choice, he reluctantly took out the gift he had intended to give to Shi Wudu. Carefully inscribing containment arrays on the pouch, he gently stored the resting soul inside it. Tying the pouch to his waist, he left the Bloody River, and headed back to the chaotic Ghost Market.
Patting the pouch absently, he decided that until he was able to figure out just who the soul used to be, as well as why someone had gone through such lengths to heal the soul and keep the soul from disappearing, he would take care of it.
An impressive frown formed on He Xuan’s face as he thought about how he’d had to use the gift meant for Shi Wudu for something other than its intended purpose. He apologized silently and made a promise to purchase something even better to make up for his indiscretion.
Why Are You Here?
The moment Xuan Ji said that the previous Water Master’s body was located at Ghost City, Nan Feng started cursing loudly, as Fu Yao gave an impressive scowl. Pei Ming also seemed to be slightly shaken, his jaw clenched tight as his eyes burned down at Xuan Ji’s laughing form, while Ling Wen heaved a massive and frustrated sigh.
Xie Lian looked quizzically at Ling Wen, wondering what the reason was behind everyone’s extremely negative reactions.
Ling Wen rubbed her temples and softly mumbled “shit” under her breath. Xie Lian waited patiently for her to gather herself before making any further comments.
After she took a deep breath and composed herself, Xie Lian tentatively asked, “What is wrong with Ghost City?”
“Ghost City itself is fine. It is just the master of it is just a bit. . . . “ Ling Wen hesitated a bit before raising her finger to lips in deep thought.
“The current master of Ghost City is the ghost king Hua Cheng, also known as the Crimson Rain Sought Flower. He is a devastation class ghost, and one of the Four Great Calamities, responsible for challenging 33 Heavenly Officials and defeating all of them. Therefore, he is one we cannot afford to take lightly.” Pei Ming replied for Ling Wen, his expression heavy and serious.
He paused, eyes glinting in warning at Xie Lian, “I strongly suggest you not get involved. This matter doesn’t involve you.” Pei Ming’s tone was unexpectedly harsh as he advised them, hand clenched by his waist.
“Your Highness, please return to Heaven and report to the Heavenly Emperor only about the details regarding completing your mission successfully. Any information pertaining to Shi Wudu is not your concern, nor does it have any bearing on your mission report.” Ling Wen stared at Xie Lian, voice firm and commanding.
“Matters involving Ghost City require a delicate hand, so discretion is required. Pei Ming and I will take care of this, so there is no need to worry the Heavenly Emperor. Please rest assured that everything will be resolved. You do not need to involve yourself in this matter any further.” Her eyes went hard, and her tone was just as tense as Pei Ming’s.
Having made their stance on the matter clear, both Ling Wen and Pei Ming quickly left the group, leaving little Pei in charge of cleaning up the mess with Xuan Ji once again. Pei Su turned towards the once again shrieking ghost with a resigned look, preparing to escort her to be imprisoned.
Xie Lian frowned at the abruptness of the two god’s departure, mulling over their parting words. Although Ling Wen and Pei Ming had made it abundantly clear that they didn’t want him or anyone else involved, Xie Lian knew he could not help but do so. When he had been in trouble, it was Shi Wudu who had extended a helping hand. Now that he could be of service to Shi Wudu, he couldn’t just sit back and pretend like nothing was happening. With a wince, he recalled how he had never even thanked the previous Water Master for all that he had done for him.
“They are as pleasant as always.” Fu Yao commented sarcastically, rolling his eyes with a scowl.
Xie Lian looked curiously in his direction, “What is their relationship with the previous Water Master?”
“Together with the previous Water Master, they formed the infamous Three Tumors. While the Three Tumors share a close friendship with each other, each has an extremely terrible reputation in heaven.” Fu Yao explained.
Nan Feng jumped in to explain, when Xie Lian’s face became even more inquisitive, “As you know, Ling Wen is the number one civil god. However, she is strongly disliked by the other civil gods because it is rumored that she bootlicked and seduced her way up. Of course, they are mouthy shits regardless, and would gossip about the sun setting.” Nan Feng’s expression was thunderous as he talked about the gods in question.
Xie Lian furrowed his brow in confusion. From what Xie Lian had seen thus far, Ling Wen didn’t seem like the type who would be willing to boot lick or seduce her way up to the top. Additionally, Shi Wudu had often effusively praised her, saying, “Ling Wen is an extremely amazing person. You will never find someone more efficient or competent than she is.”
“As for the illustrious Pei Ming, you can already guess just what his reputation is like. His involvement in this whole affair was because of the sheer amount of flings he has.” Fu Yao sneered, sniffing derisively.
Xie Lian nodded, having to admit that what Fu Yao said wasn’t untrue, especially since they just finished a mission that only happened due to the general’s many affairs. Additionally, there had been that situation where he had walked in on Shi Wudu and Pei Ming… His face turned bright red as he thought about the book he still had in his sleeve. Hastily clearing his throat, he gestured for the two to continue their explanations.
“The Water Tyrant Shi Wudu was considered... Fuck! How do I say this?” Nan Feng ruffled his hair in frustration. “He had the worst reputation of the three. All of the gods considered him to be greedy, arrogant, selfish and down right petty at times.”
He scowled as he continued, “Apparently, the amount of gods that were happy about his demotion and death were too numerous to be counted.”
Xie Lian had never been one who listened to rumors or gossip, so he had never known that Shi Wudu had such a terrible reputation in Heaven. His heart hurt hearing all of the negative gossip that apparently revolved around his friend. The more he thought about it, the more nauseous he felt. How could Shi Wudu ever be described as someone who was greedy? Xie Lian acutely remembered how Shi Wudu had always given his income, his possessions, his time, without batting an eye or asking for anything in return.
Xie Lian acknowledged and agreed that while his friend did indeed act arrogant and petty at times, to only be known for such negative aspects was a hard pill to swallow. He would never be able to agree that Shi Wudu was a selfish person—not when he had done so much for him.
No matter how much Shi Wudu had loudly proclaimed that he was the Water Tyrant—that he was a terrible and cruel person, Xie Lian had never agreed. His own experiences with his friend completely disproving all of his words. However, he wanted to know just why he along with everyone else believed that he was such a terrible person.
Xie Lian’s voice was unusually harsh as he asked, “Why was he given that reputation?”
Fu Yao took over answering, as Nan Feng had erupted into a series of expletives, “According to other gods, he had forced people to worship him. If a worshipper did not light incense for him, their boat would be unable to move. He also was highly disliked by other gods for his selfish actions, taking several missions at a time, not leaving anything for them to do or have a way to earn additional merits.”
He heaved a sigh, “Apparently, he only focused on earning merits, caring only for growing his wealth and hoarding other rare treasures. By all accounts, he was responsible for the still ongoing shortage of defensive and protective talismans, having bought them all for himself.”
Xie Lian’s heart sank. It seemed like Shi Wudu had displeased many gods. He didn’t want to believe all the accusations, but the way Fu Yao explained the situation made it seem like there was indeed some truth behind the accusations. He sighed, Shi Wudu was truly hard to understand. There had been many times where Xie Lian wanted to question his actions and thought process, but because his friend had now passed, it was impossible. The truth and reasons behind his actions may forever remain a mystery.
“Th--Thank you for explaining everything to me.” Xie Lian’s heart was heavy as he thanked the two gods.
“Tch. It’s just repeating idiotic gossip from babbling chickens.” Fu Yao rolled his eyes as he waved off Xie Lian’s thanks.
Nodding, Xie Lian turned to leave, his head and heart both hurting. He knew that even though Shi Wudu was friends with Pei Ming and Ling Wen, and even though the two had told him to stay away, it would still be better if he joined the search as well. He needed to hurry to Ghost City. Once he reported how his mission went and received permission from Jun Wu to go to Ghost City to investigate the situation revolving around Shi Wudu, he was prepared to head out.
Why Did You Do Such Things?
Xie Lian arrived in Heaven, rushing towards the Great Martial Hall to report to Jun Wu. While he was not planning on telling the Heavenly Emperor about Pei Ming’s and Ling Wen’s impromptu trip to Ghost City, he at least needed to let Jun Wu know that information on Shi Wudu’s body had been discovered.
Not completely focused on his surroundings due to his hurry and preoccupied thoughts, he bumped into an extremely hard surface, causing him to bounce straight to the ground. Rubbing at his smarting nose, he stared at the barrier that had suddenly appeared in front of him. He slowly reached out to touch it, grimacing slightly at how cold and wet the barrier was, realizing that it actually seemed to be formed from water. Looking around for a clue on where the barrier could have come from, he spotted a floating fan.
He tilted his head. That fan looked…
So familiar ...
His eyes widened with recognition, as a wave of ice poured down his entire body.
That was Shi Wudu’s fan. Xie Lian’s mind flooded with images of the elegant god hiding his smiles and laughter behind his fan. The same fan he’d used to help direct the life-saving water in Xianle, the same fan that had been used to help save him that terrible night with Bai Wuxiang. With a trembling hand, he reached up to lightly touch Ruoye.
Ruoye had only become a sentient spiritual device after it had taken the lives of his parents, and after he had drenched it in his blood from his own suicide attempt. His breathing grew ragged, body starting to shake. For Shi Wudu’s fan to have also gained awareness, could only mean one thing.
His blood roared in his ears. It felt like he couldn’t take a proper breath.
Because.
That fan gaining consciousness... The fan must have somehow been involved in Shi Wudu’s death. The mere existence of that fan meant that Shi Wudu hadn’t been killed by some external force, but had instead managed to commit sucide.
Xie Lian’s stomach rolled as he thought of how badly Shi Wudu would have had to brutalize himself to successfully die. His cursed cuff—he shied away from the thought, instead mind whirling around the fact that Shi Wudu likely killed himself.
How? Why? Why Why Why Why why why why why WHY??
Xie Lian gripped harshly at his head, groaning harshly. This didn’t make sense . Xie Lian would have known . He would have realized if his friend was fighting his own desperate war. Shi Wudu had never acted like... He’d never acted as if he had been driven to the point that he felt killing himself was the only option—the last option remaining to him. The Water Master had always been strong, never giving up, unbent and unbroken despite everything. He was always someone that others—that Xie Lian could depend on.
How did it end up like this? How could I have not known? How could I have not been there for him? I should have known!
However, one thought rang agonizingly clear in Xie Lian’s head.
‘I should have been there.’
“Qing Shui! What did you do? Oh I am so sorry, he’s just really overprotective.” Xie Lian gaped, as he jerked his head up at the sudden apology, to see Shi Wudu running up to him. His heart nearly beat out of his chest, until he realized with a sinking feeling that upon closer inspection, the other god only looked strikingly similar. He watched in a daze as the god scolded the floating fan, reaching down to help him stagger up from the floor.
“I am truly sorry! It’s just… Qing Shui is always like that,” The god apologized again, before giving a start of surprise, “I don’t think I have ever seen you before. I am Shi Qingxuan. Nice to meet you! Who might you be?”
Recovering his tongue, he hurriedly pushed down his chaotic thoughts to address at a later time. Xie Lian awkwardly cleared his throat as he responded, “I am Xie Lian. No worries. I don’t blame the fan or you. After all, it was likely that I was about to run you down in my haste, so it is understandable why it put the barrier up.”
“Oh thank goodness that you aren’t offended. Qing Shui is always offending people left and right, by randomly creating barriers around me. He doesn’t even let me get close to the Heavenly Emperor!” Shi Qingxuan shook his fist at the floating fan in mock rage, continuing his loud complaints, yet his hands were gentle as he reached out to take the fan to hang it back on his belt.
Xie Lian couldn’t help but smile sadly at the sight. It seemed like Shi Wudu’s devotion to his brother was so great that even after he passed, his fan took his place to continue to protect his brother. Xie Lian truly owed Shi Wudu more than he could ever hope to repay in a lifetime, and because of that, he would help protect Shi Qingxuan in his friend’s stead.
He bit his lip as he wrestled with telling Shi Qingxuan the information he had just discovered about his brother, finally deciding that Shi Qingxuan deserved to know as Shi Wudu’s last surviving family. Besides, he justified, thinking guiltily about what Ling Wen had told him. He was just going to give Shi Qingxuan the information. What the other god ultimately chose to do with it would be up to him. Surely Ling Wen wouldn’t have any issues with that.
“Shi Qingxuan,” Xie Lian began hesitantly, “I just finished a mission, and I came across some information I think you might want to know.” He swallowed, “It’s news regarding Shi Wudu’s bo--” Shi Qingxuan grabbed Xie Lian, and stared at him, breathing harshly.
“You have news about Ge? How? What did you hear? Where did you hear it?” Shi Qingxuan gripped harder with each question, fingers digging bruises into Xie Lian’s arms.
Xie Lian stared at Shi Qingxuan’s desperate eyes, his heart going out to the trembling god before him, “I do. I was about to report it to the Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu. You should come along to hear it.”
Shi Qingxuan let out a shuddering breath, “Okay, okay.” Shi Qingxuan quickly let go of his grip on Xie Lian, only to grab his wrist, dragging him along as he began to barrel towards Jun Wu’s palace, Qing Shui throwing up barriers left and right to move startled gods out of the way of their two-person stampede.
Towed along by a determined Shi Qingxuan, the only thought that managed to float through Xie Lian’s bewildered mind as he hastily called out apologies to the various affronted gods was that Shi Qingxuan was definitely not Shi Wudu.
This Time I will Help You.
The moment they arrived at Jun Wu’s palace, they were quickly ushered in to see the Heavenly Emperor. Quickly paying their respects, Xie Lian began speeding through his report on the mission as Shi Qingxuan impatiently paced around the entrance of the throne room. Unfortunately, Shi Qingxuan was forced to keep his distance, because Qing Shui absolutely refused to let Shi Qingxuan close to Jun Wu, creating barriers whenever it deemed Shi Qingxuan was too close, and because Shi Qingxuan refused to be apart from Qing Shui, he was thus banished out of necessity to the entry-way.
“Xuan Ji claimed that she knew where Shi Wudu’s body is located.” The moment he announced that information, everyone’s eyes zoomed in on him, both Jun Wu and Shi Qingxuan’s eyes seeming to fill with hungry anticipation.
“Where? Where did she say it was? Hurry up. There’s no need for any suspense.” Shi Qingxuan urged Xie Lian.
“She claimed that Shi Wudu’s body was located in Ghost City.”
“Hmmm... Ghost City.” Jun Wu smiled lightly, as he contemplatively stroked the tassel of his earring, seemingly in deep thought.
“May I? My Lord, may I go to Ghost City to search?” Shi Qingxuan hurriedly begged for permission.
“I would also like to request for permission as well.” Xie Lian interjected. He was planning to go no matter what Jun Wu said, but still thought it was a good idea to request for permission first.
Jun Wu smiled at both of them, “I will grant you permission to search. Just make sure to quickly report back to me if you find any actual news or any strange circumstances.” He paused, as he continued to almost caress the tassel of his earring, eyes turning fond, “I have been missing him as well.”
Hearing that he had been granted permission to search, Shi Qingxuan immediately brightened up, quickly agreeing to Jun Wu’s condition. Xie Lian let out the breath he had been unknowingly holding.
It was definitely better to keep Jun Wu in the loop as they tried to find Shi Wudu’s body—especially if they encountered any trouble along the way.
Notes:
Among Us Meeting Two
HX and LW’s body has been discovered by SQX
*SWD has voted*
SQX: Ge! HX died. We were trying to find you. Where were you?
SWD: I was avoidin- *cough* Doing my task.
MQ: What were you doing?
SWD: My task.
MQ: You were about to say something else weren’t you.
SWD: Nope. You probably heard wrong.
MQ: I heard wrong? No I don’t think--
SQX: Ge! HX DIED. SOMEONE KILLED HIM.
MQ: No shit someone killed him. Do you even realize what game we are playing?
XL: Where is the body and where is everyone?
SQX: It was at security. Ge, HX was trying to find you.
HC: I was with Gege, protecting him.
XL: Yes, SL was with me at the cafeteria.
MQ: Is LW’s body there as well? I am at MedBay and I saw both of them.
SQX: It was only HX’s body.
SWD: I am at Navigation.
JW: I am also at Navigation.
SQX: Ge! Who did you vote for?
SWD: JW.
SQX: Why?
SWD: He is an imposter.
SQX: How do you know that?
SWD: I just know.
JW: Thank you for watching over me so carefully.
SWD: FUCK OFF.
Result SWD votes JW and JW votes SWD.
Everyone else skipped.
Chapter 13: ML Appeared
Chapter Text
Shi Qingxuan impatiently paced back and forth as Xie Lian made his way out of the Great Martial Hall. His fan agitatedly tapped against his hand as he waited for Xie Lian to get close enough for him to grab, ready to tow him down to the Mortal realm. He honestly wanted to just rush in headfirst and quickly find his gege’s body, but his haphazard plan was quickly foiled when Xie Lian grabbed his arm instead.
“We are going into a potentially hostile person’s territory, so rushing in rashly would just make our investigation harder.” Xie Lian explained as he dragged Shi Qingxuan along, “Therefore, what better way to infiltrate Ghost City than to follow the ghosts who plan to go to the market?” He smiled at Shi Qingxuan, not letting go of his grip even as they descended towards the Mortal realm to find a burial mound.
With Qing Shui also smacking his head to “gently encourage” him forward, Shi Qingxuan was left with no other choice but to go along with Xie Lian’s plan.
Thus, Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian crouched on top of the burial mound and waited.
Shi Qingxuan patiently waited and waited. His palms were sweating and his heart raced, but because they had to be still and quiet, he couldn’t even move to burn off his nervous energy. The tranquillity of their surroundings compared to his racing heart only amplified his nervous anticipation.
Needing something to distract him, he reached into his sleeve and grabbed a small jug of wine. Shaking it lightly, he smiled as he heard the liquid splash inside the jug. He turned to Xie Lian and held it out with an uneasy smile, whispering, “You want some?”
Xie Lian seemed a little hesitant at first, staring at the jug with a pale face, but then firmly grabbed the jug, taking two large swigs before handing it back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Thanks.”
When Shi Qingxuan took his jug back, he raised his eyebrows at the amount that Xie Lian drank, the jug substantially lighter in his hand. He took a few gulps as well, feeling the alcohol burn his throat a bit before pleasantly warming his stomach, helping to calm his rapidly beating heart.
“I’m impressed that you can drink so well!” He was glad that he seemed to have found a new drinking buddy. He had always wanted to be able to drink with Xie Lian. Ever since he had found out that this man was who his gege had chosen to protect—had chosen to sacrifice himself for, he had wanted to know more about him. While he did have to admit to himself that he couldn’t help feeling slightly jealous of Xie Lian because he had received so much of his gege’s attention, he still wanted to honor his brother’s decision and could therefore brush those feelings aside.
Now he was even more excited to have met Xie Lian, because he seemed like a genuinely good person too—actually seeming to have cared about his gege. He chanced a glance down at the fan hanging deceptively docile from his belt, and rubbed his head soothing away a phantom ache, making a face. His reasons for being happy to find a new drinking buddy had absolutely nothing to do with how he wanted to be able to drink with someone that Qing Shui would actually allow.
“I don’t usually drink.” Xie Lian replied, pausing a little before explaining, “Drinking to excess isn’t good and can cause insanity. It is usually best to take only little sips.” He hesitated, his eyes seeming to look through Shi Qingxuan, “However, sometimes larger sips can help ease the mind and calm emotions when necessary.”
Shi Qingxuan pouted at Xie Lian’s answer. It seemed that he would still have to look for that mythical drinking buddy. He felt slightly disappointed that one of the few people that Qing Shui could stand, wouldn’t drink with him in the future. Feeling something at his waist moving, he looked down, and saw Qing Shui slowly move back and forth, as if agreeing with Xie Lian’s statements. Dumbfounded at his friend’s clear betrayal, Shi Qingxuan reached down and tried to grab Qing Shui, to stop him from moving. “Don’t agree you traitor! Drinking with friends is a good pastime.”
Wriggling away from Shi Qingxuan’s hold, Qing Shui floated in front of him and tilted slightly to the side, as if it was questioning his statements before repeatedly moving his body left and right.
Shi Qingxuan whined, smacking halfheartedly at the stubborn fan, “Qing Shui, you can’t do this. We clearly had fun drinking. Remember the time with He-xiong? Or what about that one other god you could actually stand? Those times were fun!”
As Shi Qingxuan continued to hold his one-way conversation with Qing Shui, he suddenly heard a short burst of laughter. Turning his head towards the sound, he saw Xie Lian holding his hand to his mouth and gazing at them fondly. Staring back at Xie Lian trying to suppress his smile, the corner of Shi Qingxuan’s lips slowly moved upwards as the serious atmosphere from the start of their stakeout dissipated, the mood turning lively.
He grinned broadly at Xie Lian, as he made another halfhearted grab at Qing Shui. That’s right. He finally had a lead to find his brother, so he was going to smile and he would continue smiling until they were reunited. Reaching for his jug once again, he cheerfully raised it to Xie Lian as he took a big gulp.
The Search Begins Again.
A faint line of lights eerily approached, slowly materializing into a group of female ghosts holding lanterns as they ambled along the darkened path. The sight of the floating white lanterns set a bewitching atmosphere, as they glowed gently in contrast to the dark and moonless night.
He couldn’t help but be reminded of the times when his family would head over to the temple for the Mid Autumn Festival to get Blessing Lanterns of Everlasting Light to release in honor of the Heavenly Emperor. They would always get two pairs of matching lanterns to let loose. His parents choosing a matching set, with him and his gege choosing another matching set.
Even though he didn’t have the strength to hold the lanterns at the time, he would still whine and beg to hold them while they were heading to the lake to release them. He remembered the aching disappointment he felt whenever his parents refused, telling him that he was too young to carry them. Despite the fact that he knew they were right, the beauty of the lanterns called to him. The lanterns were gorgeously decorated, and his fingers itched with the desire to hold something so exquisite in his hands.
He smiled ruefully as he recalled how he’d used to dig his feet into the ground, crying and throwing a tantrum. His tantrum only stopped when his brother came and heavily scolded him. Despite the harshness of his gege’s words, he still gently handed him his own lantern to hold, while raising a finger to his lips as he glanced meaningfully at their parents’ backs.
Of course, just as his parents said, Shi Qingxuan was too young to hold something so precious and expensive, and ended up losing the lantern along the way. Too scared to tell anyone what happened, his brother still noticed his panic and helped him hide it from their parents. No one suspected a thing until it was time to release the lanterns.
Once their parents found out, his brother immediately took responsibility and claimed that he had lost Shi Qingxuan and the lantern along the way to the lake. Their parents immediately began berating his gege, and when Shi Qingxuan tried to come forward and tell the truth, they simply believed that he was trying to cover for his brother. As punishment, his brother was forced to watch while everyone else got to release their lanterns.
Shi Qingxuan sighed in regret. He had never gotten the chance to release a lantern for his brother, but he often wondered if his gege would one day be able and willing to release one for him.
His maudlin thoughts were brought to a halt when Xie Lian whispered, “Let’s go follow them,” as he squeezed Shi Qingxuan’s shoulder quickly.
Shi Qingxuan shook himself out of his thoughts. Right. It wasn’t the time to ponder about the past. They had a mission to complete, and he had to find his brother. He wasn't usually the type to dwell on the past. Being constantly surrounded by distractions usually helped keep him in the present. However, after finding news about his brother’s, and meeting Xie Lian, old memories kept resurfacing and flooding his mind. Taking a fortifying swig from his jug, he wiped his mouth and threw the jug aside.
Following behind Xie Lian, they snuck their way to the back of the line of ghosts, blending in as the group started chattering about facial treatments. Everything seemed to be going smoothly, and they were close to Ghost City, when suddenly, one of the female ghosts turned around and saw them.
“Who are you two?” The moment the ghost questioned them, the rest of the ghosts immediately turned to stare at them.
“When did they start following us?” Another ghost stepped out of the line, studying them carefully.
“Which burial ground did you come from? How come I never saw you guys before?”
As the barrage of questions continued, Shi Qingxuan’s palms began sweating profusely, his heart beating faster and faster. He couldn’t lie. How was he supposed to reply? His mind completely blanked out as he stared with wide eyes at the ghosts surrounding them.
He could nearly cry with happiness when Xie Lian stepped forward, “We came from a burial ground much further away which is why you probably never saw us before.”
Jumping onto that lifeline, Shi Qingxuan rapidly nodded his head. He smiled brightly, “That's right! We traveled for thousands and thousands of miles just to go to Ghost City.”
Mentally giving Xie Lian kudos for his efforts, he heaved an internal sigh of relief, thinking that their answers would stave off further questions. Unfortunately, he was quickly proven wrong when the first female ghost that had noticed him continued to stare unnervingly hard at his face, before finally stating with a smile, “Your face is very nicely maintained.”
Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian nodded uniformly, smiles pasted on their faces.
Oh My God! How was he supposed to respond and continue with this conversation? Their cover was one HUNDRED percent BLOWN.
He looked desperately towards Xie Lian for guidance, eyes wide and beseeching as he waited for him to respond to the situation.
Xie Lian casually laughed, “It’s alright. Not bad.”
Shi Qingxuan quickly copied his demeanor, chiming in, “Pretty good, right?”
Apparently convinced that they held the secrets to good-looking faces, the ghosts crowded around them, peppering them with questions, as they refused to let them go. Shi Qingxuan’s back was a river of sweat as they asked if he had gotten any facials done, what were his beauty secrets, and what places he recommended for them to visit. His smile got tighter and tighter. How was he supposed to answer those questions???? His face was naturally like that, and he hadn’t done anything to it, but he definitely couldn’t tell the female ghosts that!
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes searched for Xie Lian, hoping he’d be able to step in once again, but found him staring back at him helplessly shrugging. Shi Qingxuan stared at him uncomprehendingly until it hit him. The ghosts were questioning HIM not HIM AND XIE LIAN. He had to come up with an answer on his own.
Not knowing what to do or how to reply, he started to awkwardly laugh, hoping to delay long enough so that he could escape and thus wouldn’t need to respond.
A sudden flash of crimson appeared before his eyes. He blinked multiple times to refocus his eyes, seeing the group of ghosts steadily approaching him. They crowded even closer around, continually asking him for beauty advice as he frantically looked for his lifeline, Xie Lian. However, he noted with a sinking feeling, Xie Lian seemed to have disappeared. His face broke out in sweat. He had been ditched. No. He shook his head firmly. Xie Lian didn’t seem like that type of person. They had probably gotten separated unluckily.
It’s okay. It would be fine. He was a god. A very well-established and powerful god. The current situation was nothing that the amazing Shi Qingxuan couldn’t deal with.
Well. He amended to himself as the female ghosts leaned closer to him, eyes fixed on his face. He could deal with it if he exposed himself as a god.
He pasted on a bright grin, “Listen, listen ladies. I am not a professional, but I do have some tips and tricks here and there. Listen, listen... Um, washing your face with--with rice water! Yes, rice water is good and-- Um… preventing problems is better than fixing them. I... I...” Shi Qingxuan rambled as his eyes darted to and fro, looking for a peaceful escape route while remaining undercover.
He had a brother to find and now he also had a lost (most likely in trouble) friend to find. He needed to find a way out of the situation quickly. But how? Shi Qingxuan no longer even knew what he was rambling about as he waved his hands around, unsuccessfully warding off the female ghosts.
The female ghosts laughed at his apparently humorous words, as they attempted to grab him and bring him to some beauty parlor. Just as they were reaching out to feel his face, Qing Shui escaped from his waist, and created a barrier around him.
His hair stood on its end. That was NOT a good idea. Qing Shui was being TOO flashy. However, he could use this! While the ghosts were still surprised by Qing Shui, he directed spiritual energy to his legs, and jumped over the crowd, proceeding to run away as fast as possible. Once Shi Qingxuan had finally found a place to hide, he turned to his floating and unrepentant partner.
“Qing Shui, no! I told you not to just create barriers whenever you want. I could have been exposed!” Shi Qingxuan scolded Qing Shui, before re-securing him nicely by his waist.
Shi Qingxuan slipped in and out of dark alleys while doing his best to blend in with the crowd. However, as more and more time passed, he realized that he had a big problem. He couldn’t find Xie Lian anywhere.
Give Me Back My Brother.
After another close call with a different group of female ghosts, a very disconcerting walk down a street that had a chicken man sitting in a large pot as well as a pig demon butchering people, and trying not to get overwhelmed by the masses of ghosts and other beings teeming through the streets of Ghost City, Shi Qingxuan’s harried form finally found Xie Lian in the Gambler’s Den. Relieved beyond belief to see a familiar face, he quickly latched onto him to prevent Xie Lian from moving another step.
Shi Qingxuan had spent a long time searching for him, it wouldn’t be good if they were suddenly separated once more.
“It took me ages to find you!” Shi Qingxuan couldn’t help but let a little of his grievance out, “Honestly, I should have searched for the Gambler’s Den first, since it is one of the most popular and chaotic places in Ghost City. Literally, the place to go when you visit Ghost City.”
Shaking a finger at Xie Lian, he continued, “We can’t get separated in a place like this. So please make sure that we stay together for the rest of the time we’re here.”
“I apologize for that. You’re right. It is best to stick together to avoid separation.” Xie Lian nodded before anxiously turning to look at a long table near the front of the room.
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes narrowed. When he had come inside the building, he also heard of the bet that the man at the long table had made. The fact that a father was willing to bet his own daughter’s life and marriage was unthinkable and disgusting. His mouth pulled down into a ferocious frown at the man. Unfortunately, because they were still unable to find Hua Cheng, it would be best to remain hidden and thus, they couldn’t interfere.
“This man. . . .” Xie Lian was unwilling to let the situation go, but Shi Qingxuan couldn’t risk Xie Lian acting out in any way. He hadn’t heard news about his brother for centuries. If Xie Lian caused a ruckus by interfering with the betting going on, they might be booted out and any information they might have been able to find about his gege would be lost.
He harshly grabbed Xie Lian’s wrist, and stared into his eyes, “Look. I know what you want to do, and I fully agree that this situation is disgusting, but Xie Lian... We HAVE to remain hidden. There are rules here and if anything REALLY gets out of hand, we can come up with something then. Before all of that, we need to find Hua Cheng first so we can get information about my brother. ”
Xie Lian slowly nodded, agreeing to Shi Qingxuan’s words before suddenly stopping and saying, “It is the person behind those curtains.”
Shi Qingxuan paled. He had known that coming to Ghost City meant confronting Hua Cheng about his brother’s whereabouts. Despite knowing that, he couldn’t help but hesitate, his legs refusing to move him forward to the shadowy figure behind the curtain. He willed himself to move. He had thought that he would be fine, because he had been mentally preparing himself for this meeting, but imagining the moment and being in the moment were completely different beasts.
The pressure was not something that anyone could imagine. Shi Qingxuan never thought in his wildest fever dream that he would ever be forced to meet or have an outright confrontation with one of the Great Calamities—especially not the most dangerous Devastation class demon.
Shi Qingxuan looked over at Xie Lian who was busy looking at the long table, completely unconcerned that there was a devastation class demon in the room with them.
Then again, Xie Lian had once fought against a devastation class demon alongside his brother. Maybe having the experience of fighting against one made one unafraid of them. Shi Qingxuan truly admired Xie Lian for facing one, but he personally had never thought that HE would be forced to possibly fight one if things turned south. He couldn’t be afraid in this situation. He straightened his back, as he stared at the shadowy figure. His goal—the possibility of finding his brother was right in front of him. He just had to walk up, lift the curtains, and demand information.
Recalling what his brother always told him, “A calm mind makes a wise person. A wise person makes sure they are armed with information. An informed person can triumph over any situation.” He knew that he had to remain calm—especially when facing an opponent as tough as Hua Cheng. Shi Qingxuan took several deep breaths, gathering all his courage, before determinedly heading over to the curtain to get that information. Completely against what he had previously advised Xie Lian, he was fully prepared to make a big enough scene and force Hua Cheng to tell him what he needed to know.
He wasn’t going to go home without his brother. He was promised his brother’s body or at least news of it. He was not going back empty-handed, and he’d face down one of the Great Calamities if he had to.
What Was He Doing Here?
Ling Wen and Pei Ming had come to Gambler's Den after gathering information (read: Pei Ming flirting) from the various inhabitants of Ghost City that Hua Cheng was planning to visit the establishment that night. They blended into the raucous crowd, as they warily observed the situation around them.
Completely focused on trying to find Ghost City’s infamous master, they tuned out the depraved activities and loud cheers and despairing screams around them. From Ling Wen’s point of view, regardless of the demand and the bet made, whether they were humane or inhumane, it had nothing to do with her or her goals.
People came to this place for the sole purpose of making bets, knowing full and well what the rules were. What they gained and lost was fully within their own hands. This gambling den was in the ghost realm for a reason after all. Asking for it to follow righteous and morally correct methods would be too much—especially since neither she nor Pei Ming were righteous beings to begin with.
Besides, Ling Wen thought to herself, as she kept a close eye on Pei Ming’s tense form. She had better things to do. Such as making sure her foolish friend didn’t boldly go up and confront Hua Cheng without a backup or escape plan already in place. Actually, she conceded, he probably didn’t even have a plan in the first place.
Ling Wen was in deep thought, trying to figure out how exactly they were either going to sneak into Hua Cheng’s palace or get close enough to him to discover any information that might exist, when Pei Ming suddenly shook her by her arms, completely breaking her thought process.
She glared at him, suppressing the desire to elbow him in retaliation.
“Ling Wen! Tell me I’m blind, but is that Shi Qingxuan?” Pei Ming hurriedly pointed into the rowdy crowd, shaking her slightly again.
Already annoyed with Pei Ming for breaking her thought process, and only registering the first part of what he said, she deadpanned, “You are blind.”
Shaking off his hold, and long-used to Pei Ming’s antics, she resumed figuring out possible plans before the second part of what Pei Ming said fully sank in and fully processed in her mind. Ling Wen's eyes widened as she whirled in the direction where Pei Ming previously pointed at.
Her eyes frantically searched through the wild crowd, and then narrowed as she saw Shi Qingxuan on the other side of the room right next to Xie Lian, who was busy looking at the long table at the front of the room. Then, Shi Qingxuan began to move with a stupidly determined face, towards the shadowy figure behind the curtains. She cursed furiously in her head. She had explicitly told Xie Lian NOT to get involved, and not only did he not listen but also dragged Shi Qingxuan along on this stupidly risky mission as if it was just a casual outing.
She groaned internally as she realized that if Xie Lian had decided to come along, he most likely had told Jun Wu about her and Pei Ming’s involvement. She cursed Xie Lian even more viciously as she now also had to think about what excuses to give to the Heavenly Emperor to explain just why she and Pei Ming had gone to Ghost City without permission.
The immediate problem however, was the fact that Shi Qingxuan was here. Unfortunately, the new Water Master, like Pei Ming, tended to use his emotions instead of brains in situations revolving around Shi Wudu. However, unlike Pei Ming, Shi Qingxuan was not adept in planning battles, nor was he able to think up strategies on his feet, because he had almost zero practical battle experience. Shi Qingxuan was honestly ill-fitted for a situation like this—especially because in addition to the previously stated shortcomings, he was also unable to come up with cunning strategies to con people and avoid a fight, unlike his brother.
Shi Wudu! Come back and rein in your two idiots! I’ll only beat you a little bit!
Beyond the tactical disadvantages of having Shi Qingxuan here, Ling Wen hadn’t wanted to let him know they had information because he was too naive and couldn’t handle disappointment well. How would he feel if he went through such a dangerous situation, just to find out that he had been lied to, and the information regarding his brother was fake? He definitely would take it very poorly.
Ling Wen’s eyes flicked quickly to Xie Lian, when Xie Lian grabbed Shi Qingxuan and quietly whispered something to him. Despite what she personally felt about the Crown Prince, she begrudgingly acknowledged the fact that Xie Lian was indeed smart and was more than capable of fighting and planning strategies in a situation like this. But even still, she didn’t think she could trust him with Shi Qingxuan—or really anyone she even slightly cared about.
She looked at Shi Qingxuan once again, or more specifically the fan hanging from Shi Qingxuan’s waist, Qing Shui. She knew how deeply Shi Wudu cared for his brother, and how he had been constantly concerned about him. The proof of his deep devotion was hanging right there. How good of a friend could she call herself if she didn’t honor Shi Wudu’s own wishes?
Turning her head to where Pei Ming was seated, she opened her mouth to tell him to go to Shi Qingxuan’s side and make sure he didn’t do anything stupid, but was met with Pei Ming’s empty chair.
Whipping back towards the crowd, she carefully scanned it until she saw Pei Ming’s back slowly but surely striding towards Shi Qingxuan’s location. The edges of her lips lifted up ever so slightly as she watched Pei Ming cut through the crowd. He truly took Shi Wudu’s request to protect his brother to heart. With a rueful sigh, Ling Wen pushed her chair back, and gracefully stood up, following Pei Ming’s path towards Shi Qingxuan.
Please Don’t Act Rashly.
Xie Lian stared worriedly at the long table. It wasn’t fair for the daughter, but as Shi Qingxuan said, they were in Hua Cheng’s territory, so they couldn’t really act thoughtlessly. However, he simply didn’t feel right not doing anything, because the situation didn’t sit well with him at all. He had no information on Hua Cheng besides what little he had learned from General Pei Ming. Therefore, he wasn’t sure whether the Ghost City Master would let such a horrific situation actually happen, or even what he was currently doing with Shi Wudu’s body.
Despite his lack of information, Xie Lian was fully prepared to solve both issues. The easiest and most straightforward method would be to approach Hua Cheng directly, but that method could only lead to failure. Therefore, the best way forward was to observe and gather as much information as he could before acting. After all, if he did not know who he was dealing with, he could only expect defeat—especially because he was going to be dealing with another devastation class ghost. Unfortunately, this time it would be without Shi Wudu’s help or protection.
Xie Lian’s mind was busy planning and observing everything around him, in order to decide his plan of action, when he felt Shi Qingxuan move. He quickly looked in Shi Qingxuan’s direction, and saw the other god starting to head straight for Hua Cheng.
He quickly grabbed Shi Qingxuan’s arm, preventing him from further movement. “Wait, Shi Qingxuan. Remember, you said it yourself. We have to stay hidden right now. Don’t act rashly.”
Shi Qingxuan’s tone was anguished as he whirled on Xie Lian, “The person we are looking for is right behind that curtain! He knows where my gege’s body is. Why are we still waiting?” He took a shuddering breath, “How can I wait when my goal is right in front of me? How much longer do I have to wait until I see my brother’s body and let him have the funeral he deserves?” He closed his eyes, and opened them with a shaky smile, continuing with determination, “I’m not scared of confrontation with the big bad. Hahaha, I’m really not.”
Xie Lian’s eyes softened. It wasn’t like he didn’t want to find Shi Wudu’s body or wanted to delay the search, but they were dealing with a devastation class demon. It was easy for someone who had never faced one before to say that they weren’t scared, but if a ghost was considered a devastation class, it was for a very good reason. If they really did confront Hua Cheng and the situation turned south, they would be forced into battle. When he’d heard of what happened to Shi Wudu, he was fully prepared to fight and get his body back to try to repay a little of his kindness to him, but the current situation wasn’t good.
If they were to actually end up battling they were not only at a disadvantage because they were currently in Hua Cheng’s territory, but also because a fight would pull in all of the ghosts in the surrounding area, forcing them to battle the entirety of Ghost City along with Hua Cheng. Additionally, he had no idea about Shi Qingxuan’s own battle experience, and thus if the situation devolved into a fight, he didn’t know whether he would be able to protect Shi Qingxuan as well as fight. Therefore, it was best to think the situation through before acting recklessly, hoping that they would be able to talk things out.
Seeing how Shi Qingxuan still looked anxious, Xie Lian leaned forward and whispered, “I understand that you are worried and I promise that I will do whatever it takes to get the information about your brother for you. Just wait a little bit more. I have a plan.”
Once Shi Qingxuan reluctantly agreed, the other god sat back down, his breath rushing out of him. He began anxiously tapping his foot against the floor, unable to sit still. Xie Lian told himself that he would protect Shi Qingxuan for Shi Wudu’s sake. It would be unwise to allow Shi Qingxuan to act rashly and possibly get into a fight with Hua Cheng. However, they did need to deal with the situations they were faced with soon. Xie Lian was also becoming impatient and anxious.
What to do?
What to do...?
Xie Lian jolted out of his thoughts when he heard someone urgently call out, “Shi Qingxuan.”
Xie Lian lightly patted Ruoye, silently commanding it to prepare for a possible battle, but when he looked up, he saw that the person who had called out was General Pei Ming.
“Why are you here? Do you even know where you are right now? Haven’t I told you not to come to the Ghost Realm? I’ve told you that it is dangerous. How am I supposed to ever face your brother if anything were to happen to you?” Pei Ming furiously questioned Shi Qingxuan as he grabbed his arm, fully prepared to drag him out of the room.
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes sparked in anger as he smacked at Pei Ming’s hand ineffectually, “Who do you think you are to tell me what to do! You’re not my brother! Why are YOU even here?” He growled, tugging his arm again, “Let me go!”
“Xie Lian, I told you not to get involved in this situation, but not only did you not listen, but you also dragged Shi Qingxuan in?” Ling Wen tiredly raised her fingers to massage her temples.
Staring exasperatedly, she continued, “Since you spectacularly failed to listen to a thing I said, am I correct to presume that Jun Wu knows of our involvement now as well?”
Xie Lian sighed. He knew that there was a high possibility of bumping into them since they had the same goals. “No need to worry, I only went to ask permission for myself and Shi Qingxuan to search. As for getting involved, Shi Wudu helped me out a lot before. It is only right that I helped him in return.”
Ling Wen’s fist tightened as she coldly replied, “By what? Dragging his most precious younger brother into this situation and exposing him to danger? You really are paying his kindness back with poison.”
Xie Lian winced, “They are brothers. I know that Shi Wudu cared deeply for his brother. However, it is only right for a family member to be informed of the situation.” He strongly believed that Shi Wudu’s brother should at the very least know about the possible lead to his brother’s body.
Ling Wen flatly refuted, “No. Shi Wudu would never have wanted that. You should have never said anything. How dare you presume to say you care about him if you don’t even know that much?”
Hearing Ling Wen’s statement, Shi Qingxuan completely snapped understanding what exactly they were arguing about. “You guys knew but were never planning to tell me anything? He’s MY brother! Don’t you think that I should at least know what is going on?”
Pei Ming tightly gritted, “Not if it will put you in danger. I can handle the mess and bring Shui-xiong home. However, I also promised him that I would keep you safe. Therefore you need to leave here immediately.”
Ling Wen sighed, turning to Shi Qingxuan, “Suddenly receiving news after so long and from a hostile source is exceedingly suspicious. You know well that there hasn’t been any news for centuries. There was a high possibility that this was a trap.”
Shi Qingxuan’s hissed, “Regardless if it’s a trap or not, I should have the choice to decide what to do and should have been told at the very least! And honestly, how do I even know if there really wasn’t any news? You guys have always kept things from me ‘for my own good,’ so what is wrong with me trying to figure things out on my own?” Shi Qingxuan started to raise his voice as he got more and more heated.
“Listen. It was for your own good, and it’s what your brother would have wanted.” Pei Ming said with a long-suffering tone as he tightened his hold when Shi Qingxuan increased his struggles.
Shi Qingxuan couldn’t hold it in, “What my brother would have WANTED--”
Shi Qingxuan’s argument and complaint were cut short when a person in the crowd screamed, “HE LOST! HE IS TRULY SELLING HIS DAUGHTER.”
Their heated argument halted immediately, all eyes turned towards the situation at the long table. Xie Lian anxiously stared as he took in the reactions of the surrounding people. The father looked extremely unhappy, but not at all anxious or worried, seemingly more upset at the fact that he couldn’t obtain his wish rather than being upset at selling off his daughter.
As the croupier began to prepare the spells to conduct the exchange, Xie Lian quickly yelled, “WAIT!” all eyes in the room immediately zeroing in on him.
He burst from his seat. He had to stop such a tragedy from happening. Due to the unexpected encounter with Ling Wen and Pei Ming and the following argument, he had stopped monitoring the situation, and had been unable to interfere in time. Unfortunately, trying to get to the long table quickly was difficult due to the large and excited crowd, and trying to wriggle past an enthusiastic and large ghost, led to him crashing into a nearby customer’s table, shattering their teapot and cup.
The strong scent of herbs wafted to Xie Lian’s nose, as he quickly turned to apologize to the still seated customer. He raised an eyebrow at the other’s appearance. The person wore gossamer silk white robes with wide sleeves. Along the sleeves, stomach, and left leg of the robes, crimson spider lilies were intricately embroidered, luridly standing out amongst the pure backdrop of the robes.
While the robes did completely cover the other’s body, the delicate fabric allowed others to clearly see the outline of the man’s body. Strangely, though the customer’s body was very visible, his face was meticulously concealed with a long white veil, giving the individual a rather mysterious and otherworldly aura. Xie Lian wondered why the man had gone through so much trouble to completely conceal his face, but made no effort to do likewise with his body.
The customer shook his head at the mess, and reached out to pick up the shattered porcelain. Seeing this, Xie Lian quickly grabbed the other’s wrist to stop him from possibly harming himself by picking up the pieces with his bare hands, taking in a sudden breath of shock due to the coldness of the other’s skin. Looking down, he glimpsed a flash of red on the other man’s wrist, before his sleeve obscured the sight again.
Once Xie Lian saw that the other man had halted his actions, tilting his head curiously at him, he immediately let go, apologetically explaining, “I am so sorry for disturbing you and breaking the dishes on your table. However, it’s dangerous to pick up these pieces with your bare hands, so please let me help you clean up instead.“ Xie Lian had performed as a street performer breaking boulders, so handling these pieces wouldn’t hurt him. He paused in surprise when he began gathering the broken pieces. The customer must have been sitting in the gambling den for a while, as the porcelain was cold to the touch, not warmed as it should have been by the tea.
As Xie Lian continued to meticulously clean the mess he’d made, he could feel the other man’s gaze boring a hole into his head. He wanted to ask the other man further questions, but when he opened his mouth to ask, the person pointed towards the long table, reminding Xie Lian about his previous mission.
Xie Lian gathered all of the porcelain pieces, bundling it into a napkin on the table before tossing out a parting goodbye and another apology, before hurrying towards the long table once more. He set aside the strange encounter to analyze later, deciding to focus on the more pressing matter at hand.
By the time he arrived at the long table, the croupier had already gotten bored of waiting for him, and had continued his preparations to carry out the bet.
“Wait, wait! I want to make a bet!” Xie Lian’s luck was honestly so bad that if he rolled by himself then he would be unable to win, but he had to do something. There was always a chance to win, even if his chances were almost nonexistent.
“What would you like to bet?” The croupier sighed.
“I want to bet,” Xie Lian pointed at the heartless father,” his daughter’s life and marriage for...” He paused, unsure what exactly he had that he could bet that would worth the price. Unfortunately, after thinking about it for a long time, he was unable to come up with anything. He had nothing of worth, only carrying a stale and half-eaten bun.
Just as Xie Lian was about to ask what he should bet, the croupier suddenly straightened, announcing hastily, “Everyone, can I have your attention, please. The Lord has an announcement to make.”
Once everyone heard that Hua Cheng was going to make an announcement, the excited crowd immediately hushed, stilling in anticipation.
The croupier continued in a loud voice, “The Lord wants to do something different and has thus changed the rules. The Lord said that he would like to play around with everyone. Anyone is free to bet against him, and whoever wins can do whatever they want with the life and marriage of that man’s daughter.”
Turning towards Xie Lian, the croupier in front of the curtain deferentially signaled him forward to bet.
Something Is Wrong
The fact that there was a sudden rule change and the way the croupier changed her tone when speaking to Xie Lian made Ling Wen exceedingly suspicious. She narrowed her eyes. The entire situation was highly questionable.
Ling Wen looked at Pei Ming and raised one of her eyebrows meaningfully, looking at Xie Lian, and then back at Pei Ming. Pei Ming gave her a confused look, before his eyes widened in realization. He quickly checked that Shi Qingxuan was still within reach and then nodded back at her.
Good. Ling Wen relaxed a bit once she was sure that Pei Ming got her message. It was clear to her that Xie Lian and Hua Cheng definitely had some sort of a relationship. Especially because as soon as Xie Lian had stepped forward, there had been a sudden change to the rules.
She watched carefully, quietly analyzing the situation, and when Hua Cheng deemed it necessary to ‘teach’ Xie Lian how to gamble and the ‘correct’ method to roll the dice, her eye started to twitch.
Each time Xie Lian lost, it didn’t count and he would be given another chance to roll. If this situation was considered to be normal gambling and normal behavior for Hua Cheng, Ling Wen would call herself a martial god and overthrow Jun Wu himself. The fact that the surrounding ghosts were also muttering about the ‘Lord’s’ behavior only confirmed her beliefs.
This so-called gambling only stopped when Xie Lian finally rolled two sixes. She frowned. Hua Cheng clearly wanted Xie Lian to win, but why? This should be the first time Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had ever met, but based on this encounter alone, Xie Lian seemed uncannily familiar with Hua Cheng. Watching them interact, as well as the fact that Xie Lian had brought Shi Qingxuan along led Ling Wen to seriously question whether or not Xie Lian was at all trustworthy.
She couldn’t help but feel like Xie Lian was teaming up with Hua Cheng, but for what end, and whether it was for nefarious reasons, she didn’t know. The entire situation didn’t sit right with her. Even so, and even with her mind screaming at her to retreat and reassess, she slowly made her way towards Xie Lian.
Shi Wudu, you better appreciate this you obnoxious petty goblin.
I have Something To Ask You
Xie Lian wasn’t sure why Hua Cheng decided to play around and let him win, but since he had achieved the desired result, he didn’t question it any further. Besides, he had more important matters at hand. Hua Cheng didn’t seem like a bad person, and had seemed to have a carefree aura around him. Hopefully he wouldn’t give them much grief on Xie Lian’s next request, and lead them without issue to the Shi Wudu’s body.
Xie Lian smiled gently at Hua Cheng, “Thank you for allowing me to win. If I may, I would like to ask to make another bet.”
“What would you like to bet?” Hua Cheng's tone remained mellow, further comforting Xie Lian that he might be successful in his mission.
“I heard that there was information regarding the previous Water Master Shi Wudu. I would like to bet for that information.”
“Okay. What will you pay if you lose?” Hua Cheng gave Xie Lian a light smile as he tossed the dice in the air, catching them deftly.
Xie Lian squirmed. He had nothing on him that he could bet besides a stale half-eaten bun, but he was sure that it wouldn't be enough. He was a little hesitant to bet due to his bad luck, but since Shi Wudu had sacrificed so much for him, it would only be right to return the favor. Shi Wudu’s pained screams echoed in his head, as he determinedly said, “My right arm and left leg.”
Hua Cheng continued to smile, but shook his head at his bet, his eye darkening slightly. Xie Lian was at a loss. If his arm and leg weren’t enough to bet for that information, he wasn’t sure what else he could bet. His troubled thoughts were halted by Ling Wen’s voice clearly cutting through the clamor of the den.
“I can exchange any information in Heaven for information pertaining to Shi Wudu.” Ling Wen drew alongside Xie Lian, gazing evenly at Hua Cheng.
“I am willing to give anything within my possession for information about Shui-xiong.” Pei Ming shouted out.
“Same here.” Shi Qingxuan chirped in.
However, Hua Cheng paid them no attention, his eye unwaveringly focused on Xie Lian. Xie Lian hesitantly asked, “Is there anything that I could bet that you would accept?”
At Xie Lian’s words, Hua Cheng pointed at his waist. More specifically, at the bag where his half-eaten stale bun was located. Xie Lian hesitantly removed the bag and placed it on the table. “A... A stale half-eaten bun?”
Hua Cheng smiled and agreed much to everyone’s surprise. Xie Lian apologized in his heart to Shi Wudu, “ Shi Wudu, you are definitely worth more than a stale half-eaten bun. I have no choice here. Many apologies for such disrespect. But there is no other choice, so I can only apologize. ”
Hua Cheng picked up the cup and rolled two sixes before gently handing it to Xie Lian. Just as expected, Xie Lian rolled snake eyes.
He’d lost.
How is it possible that I continually fail Shi Wudu even now?
He stared forlornly at dice, but before his disappointment had a chance to fully sink its claws in, Hua Cheng said tenderly, “If you want something, you don’t need to bet for it. Just tell me.”
When Xie Lian raised his head, he found that Hua Cheng’s eye was still on him, never having moved. Although it was the first time he met Hua Cheng, the way he talked to him made it seem as if Hua Cheng’s words held weight. That whatever he said weren’t just empty words. It felt like a promise—no, an oath.
Xie Lian stared back at Hua Cheng, tentatively asking, “Then would it be possible for you to tell me information pertaining to Shi Wudu?”
“Of course. Follow me to my palace and I will tell you everything I know.” Hua Cheng fluidly stood up and walked to Xie Lian, reaching out a hand to him as he patiently waited.
Xie Lian unhesitatingly placed his hand in his, and was gently lifted from his seat. “Many thanks to the Master of Ghost City.” He furrowed his brow slightly at the familiarity of Hua Cheng’s hand.
Did I meet…?
Hua Cheng slowly drew his hand away, and helped to steer him out of the crowd, completely ignoring everyone else. He smiled charmingly, “Call me San Lang.”
Notes:
Among Us Round Three
SQX’s body is reported by SWD.
*SWD voted.*SWD: Really? You just had to do that.
JW: You can’t do that SWD. You have to tell the truth.
SWD: You snapped my brother right in half in front of me. That is the truth. It’s time for you to go.
JW: *sigh* What are you talking about? SWD, I can’t believe that you killed SQX.
MQ: It is confirmed that one of them is the imposter. But not both since they are clearly on different teams.
XL: Yes, but we aren’t sure which one of them is. However, I don’t think that SWD would kill SQX.
HC: I was with gege the whole time in storage.
XL: Exactly, so it couldn’t have been HC.
JW: I understand that it is a 50-50 between SWD and I. If you are a hundred percent certain that neither one of you is an imposter, then the safest play would be to vote MQ.
XL: That seems logical.
HC: I will vote whoever gege decides to vote.
MQ: Wait, wait. I am not the imposter. It is definitely HC. XL, you idiot you are being played.
*MQ has voted*
SWD: Wait, wait XL and HC! It isn’t MQ. It is definitely JW. Vote JW.
XL: I am voting MQ because I know HC is not the imposter, and voting MQ is the safe play.
*XL has voted*
HC: I will follow gege.
*HC and JW has voted*
MQ was ejected. MQ was not an imposter.
Results:
SWD voted JW.
MQ voted HC
XL, HC and JW voted MQImposters Win.
SWD and JW were the Imposters.
SWD: FUCK, I didn’t want to win.
JW: We are paired together, of course, we will win.
SWD: OMG, fuck off.no_temporis: I uploaded this chapter much earlier than planned. I hope you enjoyed it. Also a long awaited surprise guest next chapter, guess who that might be. XD
Chapter 14: Finally Able to Breathe
Notes:
I don't know how to put this warning but carved flesh???? (Think of red tattoos.)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Ling Wen shifted impatiently as the carriage moved forward at a (quite frankly) ridiculously slow pace towards Hua Cheng’s palace, snarkily wondering just how a ghost king’s method of transportation could possibly be so slow. Her annoyed thoughts were brought to a halt when she heard a commotion outside of the carriage, the sounds of people screaming and a child crying penetrating through the thin wooden walls. She sniffed. One would assume that the Ghost City’s citizens would know to behave in front of their Lord’s carriage, but clearly she had underestimated them.
She looked towards Hua Cheng, expecting a reaction of some sort, but it seemed that he was only looking intensely at Xie Lian. Her eye twitched as she stared balefully at him. It seemed like he was going to completely ignore the situation. Settling herself again, she closed her eyes, deciding that it mattered little to her whether or not Hua Cheng cleared up the ruckus going on outside.
Her eyes flew open when the carriage abruptly stopped. Ling Wen looked around the carriage, trying to determine just why they had stopped—ah. Of course. Xie Lian seemed to be concerned about the situation and wanted to check what was going on. Hua Cheng, seeing that Xie Lian was going to leave the carriage, immediately stepped off and held a hand out to help Xie Lian out of the carriage. A vein joining her twitching eye, as she felt a feeling not unlike she had just eaten dog food.
Sighing to herself, she decided to just leave the two to their own devices, and hope they concluded whatever business they had quickly, so they could go back to finding Shi Wudu. She frowned slightly, thinking to herself that for someone who professed that they were doing their best to help Shi Wudu, they were getting side-tracked quite a bit.
Turning to glance at the other carriage occupants, she noticed Shi Qingxuan clambering out of the carriage.
Why can no one focus on the issue at hand?
Sighing even more heavily, she too began to alight from the carriage. Fine. She needed to keep an eye on Shi Qingxuan, and perhaps if she assisted with whatever was going on, they could be finished with the matter sooner and get information about Shi Wudu sooner. Motioning for Pei Ming to follow, he nodded as he agilely jumped from the carriage. As she trailed after Shi Qingxuan, she turned back to check on Pei Ming, and saw that he had been stopped by a stranger wearing a white veil. She raised her eyebrow when Pei Ming didn’t immediately push the other person away, and actually seemed to be speaking to them.
Huh. Could the possibility of news about Shi Wudu have actually helped Pei Ming finally move on from him? Her eyes softened as she turned towards Shi Qingxuan again, leaving Pei Ming to his conversation. She would be more than enough to watch over Shi Qingxuan right now. If Pei Ming chose to move on with a ghost, a mortal, or a god, as long as he healed, that was all that mattered to her.
When Ling Wen finally got to where Shi Qingxuan and the rest were, a boy wrapped with bandages was suddenly thrust into her face. Shooting the child a dismissive glance, she asked, “Your Highness, this is?”
“This child is called Lang Ying.” Xie Lian gently straightened the bandages on Lang Ying’s face before pausing, “He was infected with the Human Face disease. I realize this is a lot to ask, but Ling Wen, could you please take care of him for a while and also gather any information you can about this? You would be the best--”
Ling Wen held up her hand, halting Xie Lian’s words as she rubbed her temple irritatedly. She honestly didn’t want to do a damn thing for Xie Lian. She had come to watch over Pei Ming and Shi Qingxuan—not to help some random boy, and definitely not to help Xie Lian. It didn’t help that she already disliked Xie Lian, and the fact that he kept professing his close relationship towards Shi Wudu, but still didn’t seem to prioritize his issues did nothing to further endear him to her.
However, when she saw Xie Lian’s gentle care of Lang Ying and the guilt in his eyes, the word ‘no’ just wouldn’t leave her mouth. Now she could finally see why Shi Wudu had been sucked into helping Xie Lian, destroying himself for the sake of the Crown Prince. After all, Shi Wudu’s worst weakness was his helplessness towards anyone who begged him for help. She had seen him scream and curl in on himself in frustration when he couldn’t find an answer to the disease wracking Xianle.
At the time, she could only watch as Shi Wudu pulled his clearly bloodied and exhausted body to continue researching, to continue going on missions, granting prayers, and bringing water to Xianle. It had truly been a never-ending cycle. She never once offered to help, because she wanted to make her stance on the matter clear.
Ling Wen did not want to get involved in Xianle and she damn well didn’t want Shi Wudu to continue to involve himself either. She had thought surely Shi Wudu would come running back to her for help, but he had never once asked. Even when the situation in Xianle turned for the worst, she had kept waiting for Shi Wudu to come running back—to say that he was wrong and should have listened to their advice.
But he never did.
He only came to her once for help—to create a fake mission for Shi Qingxuan. She had thought that if she helped him then, he would come to her for assistance more, and she’d finally be able to talk him out of his fool-brained schemes.
However, that decision had been one of the worst miscalculations in her life. She had never seen Shi Wudu again after that last goodbye.
It royally pissed her off.
“Ling Wen, please.” Shi Qingxuan urged Ling Wen.
She glanced at him, before closing her eyes in frustration. Faced with Shi Qingxuan who looked so achingly similar to Shi Wudu, pleading with her, what could she do but say yes? Shi Wudu had worked so desperately to solve Human Face disease, but had ultimately failed. He would have definitely wanted to save and care for the child. She gripped the tassel around her brush tightly. She was the best person to carry out Shi Wudu’s legacy, so she had no choice but to agree.
Exhaling heavily, she resignedly said, “Fine. I will take the boy and figure out what is going on with him. Be sure to keep me updated through the array about any information you might find out. If anything happens, I will come right back.” Whirling on her heel, she grabbed Lang Ying to return to Heaven.
She gritted her teeth as she led Lang Ying through her transportation array. She still didn’t trust Xie Lian or Hua Cheng, and the entire setup of this mission was suspicious. Unfortunately, because she was forced to leave, she would have to place all of her trust and hope onto Qing Shui to make sure things went smoothly and to try to keep people out of trouble.
Ling Wen sighed. Who was she kidding? She had to hurry and resolve the issue with Lang Ying and come back quickly, because Heaven knew she would be needed to get the others out of whatever mess they found themselves in.
Shi Wudu you absolute brat, you owe me a thousand bottles of wine for making me act like this.
Anything You Ask, I Will Do.
Pei Ming’s eyes were focused, carefully watching over Ling Wen and Shi Qingxuan as he followed behind them, alert for any potential danger threatening them. His eyes narrowed when he was pulled to a halt by a grip on his sleeve. Roughly yanking his sleeve out of the clutches of whatever had caught him, he didn’t bother looking back as he strode away, when he suddenly heard a voice quietly call to him.
“Pei-xiong.”
He halted midstep.
I must be dreaming.
But this time it just seemed so real . His eyes dampen, as he clenched his fist around the tassel at his waist, nails drawing blood from how hard they cut into his palms. He inhaled sharply from the shock of pain. This was real. It must be.
How?
“Pei-xiong?”
God to hear that outside of Pei Ming’s dreams…
Shakily turning to face that voice, he froze as soon as he saw the figure in front of him, breath escaping him as if he had been punched in the gut. He tentatively reached out to him—to Shui-xiong— Please he has to be .
Pei Ming’s instincts screamed at him that something was clearly wrong with this situation. How was it possible that his Shui-xiong was here—alive and well? If he hadn’t died, where had he been for the last 800 years? Why was he only appearing now? He should listen to his instincts—he really should—but faced with the possibility that it was Shi Wudu standing in front of him, he ruthlessly quashed all those thoughts. His soul sang at the thought that his love was right there in front of him, and his heart hammered inside of him as if it was going to leap out of his chest and into the palms of the other’s hands.
His legs nearly gave out, when his fingertips gently brushed against Shui-xiong’s sleeve, letting out a shuddering breath. All of his hesitation flew out of the window as his eyes blazed to life, grabbing Shui-xiong’s arm and leaning closer towards him. A familiar, comforting, and intoxicating scent wafted to his nose—a scent that belonged solely to Shi Wudu. It filled his senses and overwhelmed his heart.
His voice nearly didn’t cooperate, “Shui-xiong?” he managed to choke out, through his suppressed tears.
Shi Wudu’s hand gracefully reached up and parted his white veil, revealing a sad smile. “Pei-xiong it’s been a while. I’ve missed you.”
He looked warm and welcoming and perfect .
Pei Ming let out a sound halfway between a sob and a groan, as he lunged towards Shi Wudu, pulling him towards him and grasping him desperately to his chest. He clutched Shi Wudu to him, one hand tightly curled into Shi Wudu’s hair with the other around his waist, as he burrowed his face into Shi Wudu’s neck, greedily inhaling his scent. His lips brushed against Shui-xiong’s silky skin as he murmured wordlessly, fighting to say just how much he’d missed him and mourned him.
How much he loved him.
As Pei Ming tightly embraced his Shui-xiong, his heart pounded and his entire body shook, but he had never felt more alive in his entire life. Even though he’d clenched his eyes shut, the tears he had long suppressed still leaked through and ran down his cheeks.
“Shui-xiong, Shui-xiong, Shui-xiong…” Finally managing to speak again, Pei Ming could only chant his name like a prayer, unable to say anything else, as Shi Wudu gently rubbed his head and back.
For the first time in centuries, Pei Ming breathed .
When Shi Wudu pushed away from him, disentangling himself from Pei Ming’s grasp, Pei Ming opened his eyes, blinking dazedly at him, “Shui-xiong wha--”
Pei Ming had spent centuries thinking of Shi Wudu. Thinking of his voice when he let out a rare laugh. Thinking of his eyes as they softened in a smile. Thinking of what to say to him if he ever saw him again. He had so much he wanted to say to him, but despite his usual eloquence, he was unable to utter a single word. He was normally sharp-witted—one had to be to survive all of the battles he had gone through, but in front of Shi Wudu, he was rendered helpless.
“Pei-xiong, I’m sure you have many questions. However, before I can answer them, I have something I must do.” Shi Wudu hesitated, before looking up at Pei Ming through his lashes, “Actually… You might be able to… You see, I am looking for something very important. Could you please help get it for me?” Pei Ming blinked, caught in Shi Wudu’s soft gaze.
Pei Ming’s mind screamed that this whole situation was dangerous—all of his instincts were telling him to attack. But how could he? This was Shi Wudu. It had to be. This was his most important person—his entire life. How could he ever raise a hand against him?
He hesitated, his heart and mind warring with each other. As he stayed silent, body taut with tension, Shi Wudu looked towards the ground, and bit his lip before looking back up at Pei Ming with teary eyes, clasping his hands and whispering, “Please Pei-xiong. I need you.”
Pei Ming broke. Was this not the person he had long desired? Was this not Shi Wudu? WHY WAS HE MAKING HIM BEG? THIS PERSON WAS HIS SHUI-XIONG, THE PERSON HE’D VOWED TO MAKE HAPPY. HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO SHI WUDU?
His heart screamed at him for making Shi Wudu unhappy, while his mind screamed at him for allowing himself to walk headfirst into a trap. He shook his head harshly. His Shui-xiong was finally standing in front of him. Sure, he had questions, but why would he question something good happening to him? Why would he want to? There should be no hesitation here. The one in front of him spoke with Shi Wudu’s voice and had his Shui-xiong’s scent. He couldn’t break his vow to Shui-xiong.
Pei Ming ignored everything his mind was screeching at him, and moved closer to the other man, gently cupping Shi Wudu’s cheek, as his thumb caressed soft skin. “No matter what it is, I will find it for you. You know I’d never refuse anything you’d ask of me.” Each word was filled with tenderness. As always, whatever Shi Wudu desired, Pei Ming would fulfill it.
He had always been weak to Shi Wudu, and honestly, it was a weakness he welcomed with open arms. Even though he had never lost a single battle, he would lose a million battles in the face of Shi Wudu. His mind might scream that he was being tricked and used, but if it was for Shi Wudu, what did it matter? To be used, killed, or tricked—who cared as long as it was for Shui-xiong’s sake? He would happily ruin himself completely for just one of Shi Wudu’s smiles.
Shi Wudu nuzzled into his hand, as he smiled, “I am looking for a badly damaged lost soul. I was in the middle of healing it, when it was suddenly stolen from me. I’ve managed to track it here, but I still haven’t managed to find it. Pei Ming, please... I need him back.”
“A soul?” Pei Ming tilted his head, staring quizzically at Shi Wudu’s abnormal request, his hand still stroking Shi Wudu’s face.
Shi Wudu smiled, “Yes. This soul… I really like this person, and he really made me happy. I really want him back in my life.” He looked down as he shyly raised a hand to his earring, almost caressing the crimson tassel.
Pei Ming’s heart dropped hearing Shi Wudu’s words. Of course... Of course he would have found a lover. Pei Ming always knew that Shi Wudu would one day fall in love. He had fervently hoped and dreamed that maybe— just maybe the one Shi Wudu chose would be him, but he was clearly wrong. It had just been wishful thinking on his part. Despite the ripping pain in his heart, Pei Ming forced himself to return Shi Wudu’s smile, as he slowly drew his hand away from Shi Wudu’s hold, his fingers immediately colder for the loss.
His fingers twitched with want before he clenched them tight. Regardless of who caused Shi Wudu to smile like that, as long as Shi Wudu was smiling and happy, Pei Ming would do anything to keep him that way—even if he wasn’t the one who put that expression on his face.
Clearing his throat, he rasped, “Is that the reason why you are here?”
“Yes.” Shi Wudu nodded, looking at Pei Ming with large and hopeful eyes.
Pei Ming was powerless to refuse, “Alright, I will make sure to get it for you.”
Shi Wudu raised his hands up, covering his mouth with his sleeves, as his eyes curled into a mischievous smile and he took a step back. Pei Ming gazed at Shi Wudu, eyes widening as he took in his attire for the first time, having been too distracted by the shock of simply seeing Shi Wudu alive and well. A faint blush arose as he saw intricate embroidery of red spider lilies splashed over white gossamer silk robes draped gracefully on Shi Wudu’s body, covering yet revealing so much due to their gauzy nature and—was that a slit in his robes?
Pei Ming’s eyes honed in on it, hungrily anticipating a sneak peek at his Shui-xiong’s graceful legs. However, his brow furrowed when he saw red patterns against Shi Wudu’s porcelain-pale legs. At first he thought that it had been a trick of the light, the red lanterns hanging along Ghost City’s streets creating an illusion on Shui-xiong’s leg, but when he focused on the exposed limb, he realized he had seen correctly. Fury burned through him.
“Who did this to you?” Pei Ming seethed, grabbing Shi Wudu’s wrist and pulling him closer as he immediately dropped down to inspect his legs. His hand immediately went to trace the designs on Shi Wudu’s legs, stuttering to a stop, as absolute rage nearly overwhelmed him.
Who dared?
He swore violently when he realized that the designs on Shi Wudu’s legs had been carved deep into his flesh, crimson ink on ivory skin, permanently marking his legs. He breathed deeply to calm himself, taking every bit of his self control to not immediately storm around to find the culprit. Despite his anger, his fingers tenderly stroked Shi Wudu’s mutilated legs, and while they did indeed feel nice and soft as he had always expected, his wrath blazed too hot for him to truly notice. “Shui-xiong, who dared to harm you like this?” Pei Ming growled, desperately looking at Shi Wudu for answers.
Shi Wudu pulled his wrist away with a huff, smacking Pei Ming’s hand off of him as he stepped away. Pei Ming endured it, still on his knees, waiting silently for an answer as his eyes burned. Shi Wudu smiled “Pei-xiong, why are you so upset? I happen to like that I carry an everlasting token of my lover’s regard. He designed and placed the arrays himself, and they are meant to symbolize our relationship.”
Pei Ming’s heart doesn’t quite break, so much as it shattered . He stared at those hateful red marks spiraling along Shi Wudu’s legs, obscene in how they stained his skin, like blood spilling onto snow. He thought in anguish at the excruciating pain Shui-xiong must have gone through when he received those markings.
He clenched his jaw, breathing heavily as he closed his eyes. He didn’t know which asshole managed to convince Shi Wudu to allow such a thing to happen to himself, but he did know that if they ever did meet, he would beat them to death mercilessly, regardless of whether or not Shi Wudu wanted it.
Putting the violence in his heart aside, he slowly breathed out. What was most important right now was that Shui-xiong was here. He could deal with whatever happened—with whoever happened to Shui-xiong eventually. Nodding to himself, thoughts of vengeance still simmering, Pei Ming reached into his sleeves, and pulled out two items he had been carrying around ever since Shi Wudu had asked for them—the Everlasting Frost Flower and the Blood-Red Jade Purifying Tablet.
He slowly got up and leaned closer to Shi Wudu, tucking the flower behind his ear, and gently pressing the tablet into his hands. With a sad smile he said, “I had promised to get them for you before you left, didn’t I?”
Shi Wudu’s smile seemed to flicker for a moment, as he pulled the flower from behind his ear, stuffing it into his sleeve as he looked down at the ground. With a strained thanks, he took a step back, pulling out a small golden cage. He handed it over to Pei Ming, “When you retrieve the soul, you need to lock it inside this cage. Once inside, it will send me a signal... Pei-xiong, I really am counting on your help.”
Biting his lip, he stared at Pei Ming, then hesitantly asked, “If I could ask one more favor Pei-xiong? Please keep our meeting a secret? I’m not ready yet to meet everyone again, and I only feel comfortable with you right now… I promise I will see you soon.”
Pei Ming could only nod dumbly, clasping onto the golden cage as Shi Wudu turned away once he received Pei Ming’s agreement. Realizing he was leaving, Pei Ming reached out in a panic to stop him, but his hand clutched only air as Shi Wudu disappeared like the mist, leaving nothing but a single flower behind. Pei Ming’s heart filled with regret. He had so much more he wanted to say to Shi Wudu, to do to Shi Wudu, but his Shui-xiong had run away yet again. Really, this had no right feeling as familiar as it did.
He knelt to pick up the red spider lily Shi Wudu had left behind. Grasping it in his hand with a sad smile on his face, he murmured, “Shui-xiong left me behind, but gave me a flower as consolation. So cheap of him to give me just one.”
Pei Ming brought the flower up to his lips and gently kissed it, not minding that the flower was poisonous. He sighed, “But Shui-xiong shouldn’t leave behind or wear such flowers anymore. osmanthus and bamboo are more suited for you.”
He mindlessly caressed the flower’s petals, staring into nothingness, before he realized he had failed to return Shi Wudu’s tassel to its rightful owner. Scolding himself for the mistake, he was interrupted when Ling Wen messaged him on his personal communication array.
“Old Pei, you’ll have to find Shi Wudu and take care of Shi Qingxuan on your own. I’ve been saddled with a child to watch over. However, if you need help, just call and I will come. I’ll finish up this business as soon as I can. Also, be careful. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng’s relationship seems very suspicious, so remember that this could all be a trap.”
Pei Ming softly smiled. Ling Wen really was too cautious sometimes, “Ling Wen, I really do think that this is a risk worth taking regardless if it is a trap or not.”
Ling Wen replied, “Still. Take care of yourself. And I know this hard, but please don’t do anything too stupid. I will see you shortly.”
With those parting words, Ling Wen hopped out of the array. Pei Ming stared at the flower in his hand once again as he thought about how exactly he was going to get a soul out of Ghost City from under Hua Cheng’s nose, but more importantly how he could see Shi Wudu once again.
Shui-xiong, just what am I supposed to do with you?
A Soul?
As Xie Lian walked back to the carriage, a flash of white caught the corner of his eyes, standing out amongst the flashy colors present throughout Ghost City. He stopped in his tracks and walked towards it, realizing as he got closer that it was a flower. Xie Lian gently picked it up, and carefully inspected it.
“What’s wrong?” Shi Qingxuan tilted his head to the side as he saw Xie Lian frown at a crushed flower. “A flower? It seems like someone stepped on it by accident.”
Xie Lian lightly brushed off the dirt and tried to gently help the flower return to normal, it still clung onto life despite having been brutally stepped on. “This is an Everlasting Frost Flower.” His brow furrowed. This flower was extremely rare and hard to obtain due to the harsh conditions it grew in. Whoever had found it, must have undergone quite a bit of hardship to be able to pluck one—especially one as large and beautiful as this. Additionally, the flower in Xie Lian’s hand had a light blue shine to it, marking it as the rarest and most beautiful of its kind.
“San Lang? I thought Ghost City didn’t have Everlasting Frost Flowers.” Xie Lian glanced at Hua Cheng, seeking confirmation from him.
“Ghost City indeed does not have Everlasting Frost Flowers. But it can. Does Gege like them?”
“While gorgeous, I do believe that the flower should be left alone and only viewed from afar due to how rare they are. I just think it is a pity that someone put through such a great amount of effort and time to obtain this flower simply for it to be thrown away and trodden upon.” Xie Lian gently tucked the flower into his sleeve before heading back to the carriage.
Clearly, the one who the flower was meant for didn’t care for it and it was now up to Xie Lian to care for it and make sure it flourished once more.
When they got back to the carriage, Xie Lian saw Pei Ming in a daze outside the carriage, staring infatuatedly at a flower in his hand.
Shi Qingxuan sniffed derisively at Pei Ming, ”Good god. Why do you constantly have to string along those poor young ladies?” Climbing into the carriage, he added, “Though I would definitely avoid this one if I were you. Giving that as a gift was in breathtakingly poor taste.”
Pei Ming didn’t look too concerned at Shi Qingxuan’s words, gently placing the flower inside his sleeve before wordlessly following Shi Qingxuan into the carriage with a bright and boyish grin. Xie Lian couldn’t help but silently agree with Shi Qingxuan when he said the flower was given in poor taste.
Red Spider Lilies symbolized partings and death, making it even stranger that Pei Ming was smiling so happily after receiving such a flower. Xie Lian wanted to question Pei Ming further, but held his tongue. Both Pei Ming and Ling Wen clearly disliked him for getting involved and also bringing along Shi Qingxuan. It would be for the best that he approached questioning Pei Ming with caution and tact.
When Xie Lian raised his head, he saw a familiar snow-white hand with a red string tied on one of the fingers extended towards him. Turning his head to the side, he saw Hua Cheng waiting patiently by the carriage door, hand outstretched to help him into the carriage. Xie Lian smiled gratefully at Hua Cheng and grabbed the offered hand, supporting himself as he climbed into the carriage. “Thank you, San Lang.”
Back inside the carriage, Xie Lian shifted nervously. The mood inside had become extremely tense now that Ling Wen was gone and no longer wrangling both Shi Qingxuan and Pei Ming. Beginning to sweat from the atmosphere, Xie Lian decided to reach out and talk to Pei Ming In an attempt to lighten the mood, and also to hopefully improve his relationship with Pei Ming.
He cleared his throat quietly, “Ah-- General Pei, If you don’t mind me saying, but you seem to be in a remarkably good mood.” Xie Lian tentatively smiled. There. Not too nosy, and an easy enough way to probe just what was behind Pei Ming’s change in mood.
Pei Ming looked a bit hesitant before slowly saying, “I suppose I am.” He flashed a handsome smile, “You see, I finally met someone I’ve yearned to see.”
Shi Qingxuan groaned, “Not this again. You mean another one of your many affairs?”
Pei Ming gave a short laugh, “No. Never an affair. I would sooner descend than ever give them anything less than my full devotion.” Pei Ming had a faraway look in his eyes as he gently stroked the tassel by his waist.
“Oh?” Xie Lian’s interest was immediately piqued. The infamous Pei Ming, known for his numerous affairs actually had someone he had intimate feelings for beyond the pleasure of flesh? He suppressed a blush, guiltily thinking of the book he hadn’t managed to throw away just yet.
“How many lovers have you used that on?” Shi Qingxuan eyed Pei Ming with distaste.
Pei Ming replied immediately, “None.”
Shi Qingxuan stared flatly at him, “You’ve at least said it to the person who gave you the flower. Really Pei Ming, you shouldn’t lie like that.”
Xie Lian curiously eyed Pei Ming. So whoever had given Pei Ming that flower was someone he deemed special and important. But if that was the case, why would they choose to give that type of flower? Also, as far as he was aware, Pei Ming only seemed to care about Shi Wudu and Ling Wen, so the existence of this mysterious person was definitely noteworthy. This entire conversation was much more informative than he’d previously hoped for.
“They’re not my lover.” Pei Ming answered quietly, his eyes dimming slightly.
“There is someone that even the great General Pei Ming couldn’t seduce?” Shi Qingxuan's distaste slowly turned into curiosity.
“It is not a matter of seducing or coercing. Though I may never be in their heart, it is enough for me that they are alive and well—that they will let me be a part of their life.” Pei Ming smiled wistfully, “That would be enough.”
He looked to the side, voice quiet, “It will be enough.”
Xie Lian and Shi Qingxuan both stared at Pei Ming, speechless at his words.
Pei Ming ignored their gobsmacked faces, and straightened, turning to Hua Cheng.
“I think we are both the type to prefer being straightforward rather than beating around the bush. So I will just ask you. Have you seen any wounded souls in your territory?”
“There is a wounded soul here?” Xie Lian asked, taken aback yet again by Pei Ming’s change in focus. Although they had all come to Ghost City to find information on Shi Wudu’s body, Ling Wen and Pei Ming weren’t the types that cared about the situation around them and were single-mindedly focused on Shi Wudu unless otherwise forced. That Pei Ming brought up a subject unrelated to finding Shi Wudu’s body was quite surprising.
Hua Cheng lifted an eyebrow at Pei Ming before smiling slowly, “General, you seem to be jumping ahead of everyone present. Indeed, I intended to talk about that subject with all of you.” Waving his hand, the carriage came to a gentle stop, and he lithely jumped off the carriage, holding his hand out once again for Xie Lian to take. With a gentle smile, he looked at Xie Lian, “Let's go inside to discuss further.”
Xie Lian slowly reached out and took Hua Cheng’s hand again, as Hua Cheng guided him away from the carriage and inside of Paradise Manor.
The Origin Behind The Wounded Soul.
A man wearing dark robes and a ghost face mask held open the door to the manor, ushering everyone in. As Xie Lian walked past him, the sight of the cursed shackles on the person’s wrist caught the corner of his eyes. His eyes widened, as he immediately spun, grabbing the arm of the other man.
He only knew of one other person that had a cursed shackle—Shi Wudu. Additionally, this shackle was on the same arm.
Could it be?
Hope filled Xie Lian’s eyes, his heart lightening. He had doubted whether Xuan Ji had told the truth about Shi Wudu’s body, but now it seemed it wasn’t so.
“Shi Wudu?” Xie Lian’s heart was in his throat, hand grasping the man’s arm tightly as tears gathered at the corners of his eyes.
“Your Highness, this one’s name isn’t Shi Wudu.” The person apologetically said.
Oh.
Heart cold, Xie Lian apologized, “I am sorry for grabbing you so abruptly. I just--” Xie Lian quickly let go of his hold the moment he heard the person’s voice.
Free from his hold, the person hurriedly closed the door and left. Xie Lian would normally have wanted to ask about his identity and cursed shackle, but disappointment held his tongue.
“Gege, let's go to the couch.” Xie Lian snapped out of his morose thoughts as Hua Cheng led him to a couch.
Xie Lian quietly thanked Hua Cheng when he passed him a warm cup of tea. The tea was at the perfect temperature and was perfectly blended. With each sip, Xie Lian slowly regained his spirit. While the other man may not have been Shi Wudu, Hua Cheng possibly had other information for them. Placing the tea back onto the table, he looked up to meet Hua Cheng’s gaze.
“Thank you.” Xie Lian straightened, ready to hear whatever information Hua Cheng had about Shi Wudu. He was finally about to hear what they had been waiting for.
“I am glad that gege liked the tea.” Hua Cheng smiled back.
“Please! Enough about the tea! Enough with the distractions! Can you please say what you know about the location of my brother’s body?” Unable to contain himself any longer, Shi Qingxuan finally exploded, springing up from the couch.
Hua Cheng tilted his head, “Unfortunately, I do not have any information where his body is located.”
Xie Lian couldn’t help but feel terrible disappointment rise in his heart. The entirety of the mission, he had hoped he would be able to finally repay his friend, but it appeared that he would still be unable to do so. Xuan Ji had lied, and it seemed that despite the bet—despite what Hua Cheng had said, he did not have information about Shi Wudu. He closed his eyes, hearing Shi Qingxuan’s groan of disappointment as he dropped back down to the couch.
Hua Cheng continued, “However, while I don’t have information about the body, a strangely wounded soul appeared in Ghost City, which might help your investigation. The timing of the news that the body was here, along with the appearance of this wounded soul are too coincidental, and therefore likely connected.”
“So the wounded soul is in Ghost City?” Pei Ming demanded,
Hua Cheng nodded, “Yes. Even more interesting, this soul’s wounds seem to have been caused by an attempted self-destruction. However, someone went through a great deal of trouble to save it. It was surrounded by a group of smaller souls, with multiple arrays preventing the soul from escaping or destroying itself, as well as a concealment array.”
Pei Ming made an impatient noise, “What happened to it?”
Xie Lian listened raptly for Hua Cheng’s response. Normally, for a soul to have attempted self-destruction, it would mean that the person no longer held any attachment to their former life, and also had no desire for reincarnation. Xie Lian’s heart hurt. For someone to try to destroy their own soul—that person must have been brimming with anguish and self-hatred.
A soul like that could only remain if someone constantly poured their spiritual energy into it. Unfortunately, spiritual energy would only help keep it from breaking further. Additionally, unless the soul was regularly infused with spiritual energy, it would be in constant and excruciating pain.
For it to completely heal, it would need to devour other souls. However, if those souls were eaten, they would no longer be able to rejoin the reincarnation cycle. Therefore, in a case like this, it would be better to grant the wounded soul’s wish and allow it to completely disappear. Hopefully, they would be able to communicate with it to find further clues about Shi Wudu before they granted it its wish.
Hua Cheng smiled, “I gave it to someone who I thought would find it interesting.” He turned to Xie Lian, ignoring Pei Ming, “I can call that person over if gege would like.”
“Please.” Xie Lian breathed out, hoping desperately that this time, they would not run into another deadend. By calling the person with the damaged soul over, he could also check to ensure they were not just further torturing the poor soul. Hopefully they would be able to grant the soul its rest. While eternal, at least it would be one without pain.
He gripped his hands tightly, staring determinedly at Hua Cheng. He couldn’t give up hope now. They were finally going to help Shi Wudu. He just knew it.
Notes:
No grouping allowed in Among Us, but SWD needs protection.
*HX, PM, JW and SQX follow SWD throughout the round.*
*MQ calls an emergency meeting. No one has died yet.*
MQ: Why is everyone grouping up? Stop it.
HX,PM, SQX: Protecting/ following SWD.
MQ: Holy shit, SWD choose ONE person to stick with. The rest should scram and go get a life. Somewhere else.
SWD: I choose LW.
*Next round: HX, PM, JW, SQX, and now LW follow SWD throughout the round.*
*XL calls an emergency meeting. No one has died yet.*
XL: Why is everyone still following SWD? I thought SWD only chose to stick with LW?
PM: I am protecting LW.
JW: I am making sure LW is doing her job.
SQX: I am watching JW.
HX: I am watching SQX.
LW: This is ridiculous.
SWD: Please, just vote me off.
No_temporis: Song recommendation for my PeiShui fans (feels)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EdGvdHm7mCQ&list=LL&index=74P.S. I am still debating but would you guys like smut in the story? Since I never planned for it, the rating would need to be increased and so will the warnings. (There would be some non-consensual scenes) As everyone knows, I enjoy putting endnotes and some of the pictures I found and would like to share in the future chapters are 18+, which prompted this suggestion of having smut. Again, I am just asking, it may or may not actually be included in the story. (I could just force you to use imagination.) Give me your thoughts on this in the comments to help me decide.
If I actually decide to do so, the rating will be increased and tags would also be added prior. On the other hand, if you believe that I am missing tags or should include certain tags, let me know.
Chapter 15: A Lover?
Notes:
HAPPY NEW YEARS.
Don't think I need any warnings for this chapter.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
He Xuan entered Hua Cheng’s private library, walking through the rows of shelves filled to the brim with scrolls. Perusing the collection, he finally decided upon a selection of scrolls before heading towards a secluded area near the back to study them. Unfortunately, as he read through them, most of the scrolls were utterly useless for his use, barely producing any useful information regarding the afterlife, reincarnation, or soul resurrection.
He Xuan continued to skim through piles of scrolls, taking notes on the barely believable ones and discarding with a disgusted huff the outrageous ones, before moving onto the next. He had managed to make a sizable dent in the pile, and was still diligently taking notes when his pouch started shaking.
Realizing it was about time to inject the soul with spiritual energy, He Xuan carefully opened the pouch and took it out, placing the soul onto the table. He watched amusedly as the trembling thing tried dodging his hand when he got closer. Because it was still so weak, the soul could only drag itself a small distance away until the pain became too much for it to handle and it couldn’t move any further, only able to tremble in pain as it curled in on itself. He Xuan sighed slightly as he watched it try to flatten itself and become one with the table when he tried to pick it up, despite its clear agony.
Ignoring its escape attempts, he scooped the stubborn soul up and tightened his hold when it attempted to make yet another bid for freedom. Undeterred, it continued to try to break free from his grip, wiggling against his fingers, despite the obvious pain it was still in.
He Xuan clenched his jaw at its antics, finally snapping, “Stop moving around. Behave.”
At his words, the soul froze, and He Xuan immediately used his other hand to restrict its movement. “If you keep moving, it makes it harder for me to pass spiritual energy.” He chided it as he gently pushed his spiritual energy into the soul. Gradually, its trembling stopped as the soul almost seemed to sigh in relief.
Tentatively loosening his hold, He Xuan’s eyes sparkled teasingly as he gently poked the squirming soul. It was willful, stubborn, and extremely infuriating, and despite the fact that he was the only one who could ease its suffering, it kept trying to avoid him. However, as he gently pet the soul, He Xuan couldn’t help but think that it was also utterly adorable as it wiggled around trying to avoid him.
His eyes narrowed in thought. This was a difficult situation because a soul as damaged as this one would be in constant torment if not regularly filled with spiritual energy. Unfortunately, the only solutions in this case would be to either let it eat other souls or to set it free. He obviously couldn’t let it eat other souls. However, he was also extremely curious about its circumstances, and thus was unwilling to let it go. As his Wudu had once said, “If you start something, you must see it through until the end.”
He Xuan had started his responsibility to the soul when he released the arrays and took the soul under his custody. Therefore, unless he solved the issues around this soul, it would be irresponsible of him to just release it.
“Just who are you?” He Xuan asked it softly, not expecting an answer. A soul too weak to even float would likely not have the capability to speak. It could only wiggle and quiver as it kept being as infuriating as possible with its constant attempts to avoid him.
Holding the soul in one hand, he lightly rubbed it with his thumb as he continued searching for answers. From all of the scrolls he had gone through, the only seemingly useful information he’d found was from a series of notes recorded thousands of years ago by a demon lord. He Xuan attempted to look for more writings by that person, but unfortunately, the notes he had found were the only ones that existed in that library. He sighed in frustration. The complete notes were most likely scattered, and finding them, likely impossible.
Despite the potential futility, he decided to reach out to Shi Qingxuan to find out if anyone in Heaven knew about the demon lord, and also sent Hua Cheng a message to search the Ghost Realm in hopes of either finding more notes, or at least more information about the lord.
He stared contemplatively at the scroll in front of him. Just from this small glimpse at the demon lord’s incredibly detailed written notes, he could tell that the demon lord must have deeply treasured the person he wrote about. The writing in the scroll showed a sense of desperation due to the massive amounts of research he had clearly done to resurrect his special person.
From the personal comments on the side, it seemed like the demon lord had been successful in resurrecting the dead at least once. He Xuan didn’t know if he should feel pity for the demon lord or not, since while he had lost his special person, he had managed to at least resurrect them and reunite with them. He Xuan knew that once he got his Wudu back, he would chain him by his side and never let him out of sight. There would be no chance of harm befalling him again.
His thoughts were cut short when a silver butterfly flew in front of him, transmitting Hua Cheng’s voice, “Do you still have the soul?”
He Xuan eyed the wiggling soul and lightly squished it with his index finger, “What about it?”
“I need it. However, take your time. I want to spend more time with Gege. Come over to the sitting room when you’re ready.” Done conveying the message, the silver butterfly disappeared into glimmering sparks. He Xuan huffed at Hua Cheng’s demand, and scooped the soul back into the pouch with a final squish, firmly securing it to his waist. Taking his time, he slowly returned the useless scrolls to their original positions on the shelves, but tucked those that he deemed somewhat useful into his sleeves. Once his area was cleaned, he headed over to Paradise Manor’s sitting room, wondering just what Hua Cheng needed the soul for.
A Trembling Soul
Pei Ming stroked the flower hidden in his sleeve as he anxiously waited for whoever Hua Cheng had given the soul to.
Shui-xiong’s lover.
Even though Shui-xiong had never said who exactly his lover was, he had a feeling that he knew. Luo Binghe. Though he had never learned just who this Binghe person was to Shui-xiong, he knew that Shi Wudu would sometimes unconsciously call out this person’s name when he was sleeping or intoxicated. Originally, Pei Ming had only been upset and jealous that this Binghe person had such a hold on Shi Wudu, but now all he felt was intense rage after seeing what he had forced Shi Wudu to go through.
Pei Ming clenched his fist tightly as he remembered the first time he’d heard that name. Centuries ago, when they had helped Ling Wen rise to power, Shi Wudu had been constantly pushing himself for her sake, before finally collapsing in exhaustion. Ling Wen had called him over to help take Shi Wudu away to rest, and when he had lifted the other god in his arms, his heart had melted when Shi Wudu burrowed himself into his chest.
Incomparable warmth had flooded through him when he thought that his Shui-xiong had been seeking his warmth and felt protected within his hold. However, his entire body had then frozen when Shui-xiong had uttered a name that wasn’t his. He’d realized immediately that he had never been the person Shi Wudu had truly been seeking.
Though his heart had been torn in two, he still gently carried Shi Wudu to his room, and gently set him down on the bed. Sitting by Shi Wudu’s sleeping form, he had just gazed at his graceful figure, letting Shi Wudu take whatever comfort he could from his warmth. While it had hurt that Shi Wudu didn’t want him and all that he could provide for him, he couldn’t just leave him cold and alone. He had stayed there, listening to Shui-xiong softly crying out for Luo Binghe, wishing he could ease the distress and pain that was clearly caused by that man.
Shi Wudu never mentioned this person when he was conscious, and only ever uttered his name at his most vulnerable and defenseless. However, that man clearly never cared enough for Shui-xiong if he was always forced to seek even the most basic comfort from another person. Luo Binghe clearly cared so little for the man that tears had dropped from Shi Wudu’s closed eyes as if the precious diamonds from Shui-xiong’s eyes were absolutely worthless. He obviously also neglected Shi Wudu, constantly leaving him alone.
Whenever Pei Ming asked who Luo Binghe was, Shi Wudu would always look sad and hesitate before changing the subject altogether. Seeing Shui-xiong’s expression, he would always drop the subject for the sake of Shi Wudu’s comfort, but perhaps he shouldn’t have. If he’d pushed just a little harder, maybe that bastard would never have gotten the chance to carve that thing into Shi Wudu’s body.
I could have spared him from so much agony.
This Binghe person really didn’t deserve an ounce of Shi Wudu’s attention, and if Pei Ming had any say in it, he would never get to lay another hand on Shi Wudu again. His death was well deserved, but unfortunately, Shi Wudu seemed hellbent on saving his ungrateful lover.
Pei Ming was snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of the door opening, quickly followed by Shi Qingxuan’s happy cry, “He-Xiong?”
Shi Qingxuan’s eyes widened and his smile brightened as he sprung up from the couch, dragging Xie Lian over to meet He Xuan.
“Why is he here?” Pei Ming let out a displeased growl as he furiously contacted Ling Wen through her personal array.
“Ling Wen! We have a problem!” Pei Ming whined at her.
“Old Pei, YOU are the one who has a problem. I seem to have an idiot who keeps getting himself into them. Regardless, what exactly is going on?” Ling Wen sighed.
Pei Ming continued, his tone indignant, “The Wind Master suddenly appeared in Ghost City. Why the hell is he everywhere I go?”
“Maybe you really did steal his lover. Also, what do you mean he appeared in Ghost City? How would he have found out about the news about Shi Wudu’s body? Wasn’t the information faked?” Ling Wen questioned him rapidly.
“I mean yes, but--”
Ling Wen cut him off, “There is no but. If it is fake then it is fake. We’ll figure out how the Wind Master got the information another time. Grab Shi Qingxuan and return.”
Pei Ming winced. He knew that he should tell Ling Wen about meeting Shi Wudu as well as the situation surrounding him. The Three Tumors had an unwritten rule to never lie to each other—especially about information regarding themselves. Ling Wen trusted that he would not lie to her. Pei Ming was torn, uncharacteristically unsure of what to do. After all, Shi Wudu had expressly requested that he keep their meeting a secret between the two of them.
A secret that only Shui-xiong and I share.
The corners of Pei Ming’s lips curled up as his body warmed with the endearing thought. Shui-xiong had trusted him to help him. He was the one who had Shi Wudu’s trust, and he couldn’t break it. Besides, he was sure that Shui-xiong would talk to Ling Wen as soon as they found the soul, so this really wasn’t like he was breaking Ling Wen’s trust since the three of them would reunite soon.
This should be ok.
“Pei Ming?” Ling Wen’s normally bored tone turned a little sharper when Pei Ming didn’t immediately reply to her demand.
Pei Ming’s smile slowly dropped as he silently apologized to Ling Wen. Rather than outright lie to Ling Wen, he decided to once again omit his meeting with Shi Wudu, and only report what Hua Cheng said.
“While Hua Cheng didn’t have information about Shui-xiong’s body, he did inform us of a severely wounded soul that suddenly appeared in Ghost City. He believes that its appearance along with the fabricated news might be connected.”
Ling Wen hummed thoughtfully, “What exactly was the situation around the soul’s appearance?”
“Apparently, the soul’s wounds seemed to have been caused by a self-destruction attempt. However, someone went through great lengths to keep it intact by using arrays. Its recent appearance along with news about Shui-xiong really seem too coincidental to not be related.”
Pei Ming honestly didn’t care at all about the soul, and if it was Shi Wudu’s asshole of a lover, he would rather completely destroy it. However, because he had promised that he would get whatever Shi Wudu desired no matter what, he would retrieve it for him. He didn’t know what Shi Wudu would be able to do with the soul after fixing it, and after finding out the identity of the wounded soul, he was really doubting whether it was in Shui-xiong’s best interest to reunite with it.
A lover who would be willing to harm their partner—to treat them so terribly, was not a true lover. The fact that Shi Wudu couldn’t even introduce his closest friends to this so-called lover and could only whisper his name in the dark spoke volumes of the way that scum treated Shui-xiong. Shi Wudu did not deserve to be treated like a dirty secret. If Pei Ming were in that man’s position, he would have spread the news through all of his temples, showing Shi Wudu off to the world.
Shi Wudu deserved better than to have some asshole completely disregard his love and devotion.
Ling Wen tsked slightly, “I still don’t like the direction the situation is going. If Hua Cheng and Xie Lian do anything even slightly suspicious, just assume that it is a trap and leave immediately.”
Pei Ming sighed, Ling Wen was once again being too paranoid and overly cautious. His instincts currently told him that Xie Lian and Hua Cheng could be trusted for the time being. He could understand why Ling Wen said that Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s relationship was suspicious, but he didn’t feel the same misgivings that she felt.
Pei Ming reassured her, “I just need to get the soul. Don’t worry! I have everything under control. As long as that Wind Master doesn’t bother me.”
“Pei Ming, I am serious. If anything fishy happens, leave immediately.” Ling Wen sharply responded.
“Of course, of course. I’ll let you know. Wish me luck with not beating the Wind Master to death.”
Waving off Ling Wen’s concerns, Pei Ming closed the connection between them. While he’d definitely leave if the situation turned for the worse, he couldn’t leave before retrieving the soul—especially when he’d promised Shi Wudu to get it for him.
Pei Ming forced a smile as he joined the group, pushing down his agitation.
The Soul Is Who?
When He Xuan saw Pei Ming approaching, his expression immediately twisted as his eyes narrowed ever so slightly as he stared the other man down. The stare down only broke when Shi Qingxuan lightly tugged his sleeves, demanding attention.
“He-xiong, you have the soul right? Quickly show it to us.” Shi Qingxuan's eyes started his body until it landed on the pouch tied to his waist.
He Xuan reached down to grab the pouch but the moment he touched it, he realized that the pouch was trembling. It only shook like that when it was in pain, but he had just injected spiritual energy, so it should be fine for the time being. That meant the trembling indicated that the soul must be absolutely terrified right now. However, for what reason he didn’t know.
“Wind Master, this soul is of great importance. Would you mind?” Xie Lian's stern voice cut through his thoughts when he hesitated.
He Xuan gently put his fingers into the pouch and drew small circles on the soul, hoping to ease whatever fear the soul felt. This simple gesture was usually all it took to soothe it, but this time, its shaking only increased.
Under everyone’s stares, He Xuan gritted his teeth as he opened and upended the pouch to dump the soul out. He had to shake the pouch when the soul refused to leave, sticking to the sides as hard as it could. It took a couple of harsh shakes before the soul was forced out and onto his waiting palm.
“Wait. What is that around it?” Xie Lian looked curiously at the soul as his eyebrows raised with confusion.
When Xie Lian walked closer to get a closer look at the array surrounding the soul, it began to thrash against He Xuan’s hold. It was the most violent the soul had ever been barring immediately after it had been forced to absorb the other souls. It's clear fear didn’t sit right with He Xuan.
“Stop. Give it some space.” He Xuan tersely bit out.
Xie Lian’s steps halted and he held up both his hands with a smile, as he addressed the soul, “I apologize if I scared you. I mean no harm, but I need to come closer to take a look.” Sensing that the soul was still a little hesitant, Xie Lian continued, “I will only look at the arrays. I promise I will not touch you.”
The soul slowly stilled before it finally seemed to bob in agreement to Xie Lian’s request.
He Xuan cautiously placed the soul on the table, allowing everyone to surround it and closely analyze it without actually touching it. The soul flattened itself against the table to prevent anyone from touching it, but once Pei Ming approached, it seemed to perk up, slowly moving over towards his direction, even willingly crawling onto Pei Ming’s open palms.
Seeing the ungrateful soul actually initiate contact with Pei Ming when it refused and avoided his touch, made an uncomfortable and scratchy feeling rise up in his chest. Something about the soul preferring Pei Ming over him, just rubbed him the wrong way. In an effort to make that feeling go away, He Xuan reached out to grab the soul back, but his brows snapped together when Pei Ming wouldn’t release his hold on it.
“Let. Go.” He Xuan tightened his hold on the soul as he tried to tug it away, but instead of releasing it, Pei Ming gripped tighter, causing the soul to tremble violently between the two of them as they stretched it between the two of them.
A sudden pair of smacks from Qing Shui caused them to temporarily cease their standoff over the soul. “You two! Stop it right now. Everyone stop! You’re going to damage the soul even further if this continues.” Shi Qingxuan anxiously watched the shaking soul, as he summoned Qing Shui back to his hand.
Both He Xuan and Pei Ming looked down at the extremely miserable-looking soul. Pei Ming sighed and slowly released his hold, allowing He Xuan to grab it back.
“Everyone please stop arguing. We need to find out more information about the soul and hopefully figure out the connection between it and Shi Wudu.” Xie Lian gestured to He Xuan to place the soul back on the table, before giving Pei Ming a look. “By the way General, why exactly were you looking for the soul?”
Pei Ming glanced at the soul, “A friend of mine knows of the identity of the soul and was trying to save it. They asked me if I could help return it to them.”
He Xuan frowned as he remembered the soul’s condition and surroundings when he first found it. Whoever this friend of Pei Ming’s was must be extremely powerful to be able to not only set those arrays in place, but also capture many souls, sealing them all in one place. Additionally, the set up of the whole situation implied that the person had intended for those souls to be devoured, despite the wishes of the slightly squished soul on the table. While Pei Ming was the second strongest martial god, and knowing such a person wouldn’t be strange, He Xuan just knew there was much more behind what Pei Ming was saying. It wasn’t like the martial god to be so cagey.
He stared at Pei Ming, flatly asking, “Is this soul important enough to replace the souls of thirty children?” At his words, the soul started to curl in itself, as if it was trying to disappear from sight.
Pei Ming stared at him bemusedly, “What? Of course I’m not--”
He Xuan interjected, “I found this soul locked in an array with the souls of thirty children. While those souls seemed to willingly let themselves be devoured, it still remains that thirty children no longer have the ability to enter the cycle of reincarnation.”
“IT DEVOURED THE SOULS OF THIRTY CHILDREN?” Shi Qingxuan's eyes widened as he stared at the soul, slowly becoming outraged.
He Xuan’s eyes glittered as he refused to break eye contact, “What will you say to that, Pei Ming? Just who is so important to deserve that exchange?”
Pei Ming took a step back, seemingly unable to comprehend what had just been said.
Just what will you say Pei Ming?
What Has He Done
No. He must be lying. There’s no way that Shui-xiong would…
Pei Ming refused to believe that Shi Wudu would do such a thing. Especially towards a child, much less thirty of them. He remembered the first mission they had been assigned together, and how absolutely devastated Shi Wudu had been at what had happened to the children, even caring for the survivors. But.. Would he abandon his morals if it was for his lover—for Luo Binghe?
No. He refused to believe it. If this wounded soul was indeed trapped with thirty children's souls, then it was because the person who stole the soul and hid it within Ghost City had collected those souls. It couldn’t have been Shui-xiong. It was simply impossible.
Pei Ming let out a heavy breath, before finally stating, “Who can judge the worth of a sacrifice like that? All I know is that someone else clearly deemed the sacrifice was worth the cost, and went through great efforts to see it through. As you said, the souls willingly let themselves be devoured. Perhaps it was worth it.” Pei Ming still didn’t believe that Shui-xiong would sacrifice the souls, but though it pained him to say it, he was slowly losing Shi Wudu and had been losing him for a long time.
Pei Ming let out a bitter smile. Did he really have the right to say that he knew Shui-xiong? Even before he’d disappeared, he had been acting uncharacteristically, helping Xie Lian out, despite usually keeping to himself except for Three Tumor-related business. However, if Pei Ming were truly honest with himself, regardless of the truth or Shi Wudu’s actual actions, Pei Ming would always protect him. He would always love him. With a heavy heart, Pei Ming looked directly at the stupid soul, wiggling and twitching on the table. He pulled out the golden cage and opened it, reaching for the soul.
Just as Pei Ming was about to reach out and drag the soul into the cage, Xie Lian stopped him.
“It seems scared.”
Pei Ming frowned. As soon as the soul saw the cage, it had started to crawl away from Pei Ming and towards He Xuan, seemingly for protection. It didn’t make sense. The soul clearly recognized the cage, which had been given to him by Shi Wudu. However, instead of being happy to see it, it wanted to avoid it?
Pei Ming pressed his lips together as his eyes hardened. Shi Wudu was still able to smile even though he had been scammed into letting his lover carve that “token of love” on his legs. He had never badmouthed his lover, even though he had never been there for him and mistreated him. Now that Shi Wudu was actively searching for this disgrace, his dishonorable lover had the guts to actively avoid him?
He couldn’t stand it.
“Pei Ming, do you know who this soul is? We need as much information possible to find Shi Wudu.” Once Xie Lian said ‘Shi Wudu’ everyone’s eyes looked straight at Pei Ming, waiting for an answer.
Pei Ming knew that they were anxious to find Shi Wudu, but he had promised Shi Wudu that he would not reveal their meeting. He couldn’t say anything about Shui-xiong’s involvement, but from the look in everyone’s eyes, if he didn’t give them some information, there was no way he would be getting the soul without a fight. He could just imagine how disappointed Ling Wen would be and just what she would say if he got into a fight with not just He Xuan, but also Xie Lian, Shi Qingxuan, and possibly Hua Cheng.
The best he could do is omit the information of meeting Shi Wudu but inform them of the identity of the soul.
“The soul is someone named Luo Binghe.” Pei Ming forced the name out of his mouth as he clenched his fist.
The moment the name, ‘Binghe’ was uttered, the soul became still and Shi Qingxuan’s eyes widened. Shi Qingxuan quickly turned to He Xuan in shock. “He-Xiong wasn’t that-”
He Xuan slammed his palms against the table and growled at him. “That is impossible. This soul can’t be Luo Binghe. Don’t take us for fools.”
Pei Ming shot back heatedly, more than ready to argue with the Wind Master, “What do you even know? How are you so sure that this soul couldn’t be Luo Binghe?” Pei Ming glared at the other god. He knew he had to be correct. Shi Wudu had told him that the soul was his lover. The only person that soul could possibly belong to was this faceless Luo Binghe.
He Xuan sneered, and reached into his sleeve, harshly slamming his notes and a scroll onto the table. “Luo Binghe was a powerful and ancient demon lord. So old, that his name has been all but forgotten from the Heavenly realm to the Ghost realm. He existed even before Jun Wu.”
He scoffed harshly and continued, “You are saying that this demon lord forced himself to remain as a soul instead of entering the reincarnation cycle for millenia upon millenia? Does that even sound believable to you? If you want to lie to us, then come up with a better one.”
“Pei Ming, please tell the truth.” Xie Lian interjected, his voice cold and his smile stiffening.
Pei Ming was at a loss for words. How was it that Luo Binghe had died before even Jun Wu’s rule? How could Shi Wudu have been calling for him when he carried him to bed? How did Shui-xiong even know his name, and why did he make him so sad?
If Shui-xiong’s lover wasn’t Luo Binghe, then just who was it? Were Luo Binghe and Shi Wudu’s lover completely different people?
Pei Ming’s mind was a mess, and now he was even less sure of what he thought he had always known. Under the pressure of everyone’s stares and still reeling from an overwhelming sense of confusion, Pei Ming finally admitted, “While I’m now unsure if that soul is Luo Binghe, that soul is Shi Wudu’s lover.”
Shi Wudu Has What?
He Xuan’s eyes filled with hatred as he stared daggers at the unmoving soul. Cold displeasure and anger started to fill his very being. His Wudu had a lover and he had never known. Who was this person that dared to do such a thing?
It must be a lie. It had to be.
His nails dug into the palms of his hands, drawing blood as he glared at Pei Ming before looking furiously at Shi Qingxuan, demanding an explanation.
“That--that’s not possible. How could-- Ge wouldn’t-- Stop-- stop lying. If my brother had a lover, I would know. He would have told me.” Shi Qingxuan's eyes darted around before finally landing on Xie Lian. “He would tell me, right?”
Xie Lian winced at Shi Qingxuan’s pleading gaze, before haltingly saying, “It wouldn’t be impossible for him to have had a lover.” Xie Lian hesitated a bit before continuing, “ When we were banished, we worked separately the majority of the time. He would come over to help out, but would often leave on his own to help make money. He could have begun seeing someone during this time, which is why you never heard about it. Shi Wudu was an intensely private individual, and had many secrets, so it would be understandable for many things to go unnoticed.”
He Xuan struggled to control his breathing. Shi Wudu had worked at a brothel. How would he have found any sort of relationship there? There was no way he would have submitted himself to those perverted lowlives. He Xuan closed his eyes as he remembered how those scum had groped and touched his Wudu. How cornered and uncomfortable he had looked.
He Xuan refused to accept it. There was no way Shi Wudu would have found a single one of those pigs desirable enough to fall in love with them . Not unless he was forced-- He Xuan immediately cut that thought off. Pei Ming had to be lying once again. How dare he even try to slander Shi Wudu like this?
This asshole is in desperate need of a lesson.
“STOP LYING!” He Xuan raged, storming around the table to where Pei Ming was standing as still as a statue, one hand clenched around the tassels at his waist, as the other gripped the cage tightly. He had had enough of Pei Ming’s disrespect and downright lies.
“If that soul had nothing to do with Shui-xiong, why would I be searching for it or even want it?” Pei Ming snapped, his hands reaching hesitatingly for the soul as he brought the cage closer. “But it is what it is.”
“Wait. General. How exactly did you know that this soul is his lover?” Xie Lian quickly scooped the soul up when Pei Ming reached for it. The moment Xie Lian touched it, the soul became still once again, wiggling a bit before finally relaxing in his hold.
Pei Ming, that lying bastard fell silent for a while, refusing to answer until Shi Qingxuan grabbed his fan and smacked his arm. “Pei Ming! This is important information to know. If we want to find my brother, you have to tell the truth.”
“I received information that there was a wounded soul in Ghost City. That the soul was Shi Wudu’s lover, and when I found it, to put it in this cage to help heal and reunite it.”
Xie Lian nodded slowly as he glanced at Hua Cheng, “General, you will have to forgive me for being frank, but there are too many inconsistencies for us to completely trust in that information.” He sighed as he conceded, “However, since we have no additional clues, perhaps we can put the soul into the cage and observe the results. We might be able to get more information that way.”
He Xuan watched with bated breath as Xie Lian walked towards the cage and nudged the soul towards it. When the soul resisted Xie Lian’s gentle push, Xie Lian scolded it. “Please cooperate. Nothing will happen to you. We will watch over everything.”
Seeing Xie Lian’s increasing frustration, at the soul’s struggles, Hua Cheng casually walked over and pushed the soul into the cage, the door automatically sealing.
As soon as the door sealed, the golden cage glowed, and shot towards the open window, the soul frantically moving against the bars of the cage. For a moment, all was still beside the rapidly moving cage, before everyone burst into action by Xie Lian’s cry.
“Chase that cage!”
Notes:
SWD Decided To Kill.
*SWD vented and killed JW mid-task. He tried to vent out when MQ, LW, and PM walked in.*
*MQ reported the body.*
*MQ voted*
MQ: SWD is the imposter. I caught him jumping into the vent.
LW: PM and I walked in on MQ killing JW. This is a self-report.
MQ: What? Are you insane or fucking blind?
PM: Don’t try to lie your way out, this is a self-report guys. *Voice becomes lower and softer* Don’t worry. I got your back Shui-Xiong no matter what you did.
LW:. . .I--
SWD: *Slams table* Oh. My. God. PM.
LW: PM...Please... Lowering your voice doesn’t mean that you are in a private conversation.
FX: So SWD actually killed JW. Damn. I wanted to vote for MQ.
MQ: WTF? SCREW YOU.
XL: SWD. What’s your defense?
SWD: PM is no longer my friend. Just vote me out.
PM: SHUI-XIONG!!!!
*FX, HC, XL, SQX, LW, PM, HX, and SWD all voted*
Results
FX,HC,XL,MQ,SQX,SWD voted SWD
LW, HX, and PM voted MQ.Next round
*HX tracked down and killed both MQ and PM, then used SQX to create an alibi.*
*Ghost PM chases after SWD the entire game, while SWD follows XL/HC with JW.* (JW was stalking the cp already, much to SWD’s dismay.)Ghost PM: Shui-Xiong, don’t ignore me.
Ghost SWD: Shut up. I don’t know you.no_temporis: Thank you for all the kind comments and feedback! If there is smut it would be a side story linked to this one. This story will remain smut free with only hints and nothing explicit. If there is a side story for this fic released please proceed with caution and pay attention to the tags. Only read if you are comfortable since this story could be read without it.
Thank you guys for supporting this story by reading, comments, and kudos. Happy New Year and hopefully 2021 will be a lot better. Stay healthy and happy.
Chapter 16: It Was A Mistake.
Notes:
Warning: Body mutation and mention of self harm and suicide.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
As they all prepared to chase the cage rapidly dwindling from sight, He Xuan immediately snapped, “I am the fastest here. I will follow the cage and inform everyone when I find its intended destination.”
Hua Cheng nodded, before swiftly throwing a talisman at He Xuan, “Activate this when you find it. I will be able to transport everyone there.”
Nodding tersely, He Xuan took control of the air around his body, summoning winds that tugged at his robes. Using their power, He Xuan immediately catapulted himself into the air, hurtling after the soul as he followed the golden cage, leaving Ghost City far behind. The two continued to soar through the night sky, the moon rising to its zenith, and just beginning to dip when the cage finally seemed to slow over a mountain range, before zooming down.
He Xuan’s eyes narrowed as he noted a figure dressed in white, standing on top of the peak of one of the mountains, with both arms reached out towards the golden cage.
Something about this person felt odd.
Landing nearby, he swiftly contacted the group at Ghost City, “I tracked the soul to Maigu Ridge. It seems that the owner of the cage came to collect it.”
Done relaying the information, he activated the talisman Hua Cheng gave him, and watched the others instantly appear in a swirl of silver butterflies.
Shi Qingxuan’s attention immediately honed in on the figure at the peak, “We need to catch that person before they take the soul away! He-xiong, can you use your winds to distract them to give us time to retrieve the soul?”
He Xuan nodded, pausing a bit when he saw Pei Ming make an aborted motion towards him, as if he wanted to stop him. He cast a deliberating look at Pei Ming, before releasing a strong gust of wind towards the stranger, commanding the winds to blow the other person off of the mountain. He wanted to see just how Pei Ming would react towards his actions concerning the person who was protecting Shi Wudu’s so-called lover.
The winds harshly buffeted the person, causing his veil to fly off as he quickly crossed his arms in front of his face, trying to shield himself and the cage against the wind currents. Despite his efforts, the gusts broke the cage free from his grasp as he lost his balance and started to plummet down the mountain.
He Xuan watched as the others burst into movement beside him, but focused on Pei Ming’s strange actions. Unlike Shi Qingxuan and Xie Lian, who immediately attempted to retrieve the soul, Pei Ming instead reached towards the stranger in white, catching him quickly as he dispersed He Xuan’s winds with a powerful swipe of his hand. Within Pei Ming’s protective hold, the stranger held out his hand and bent his fingers, beckoning the cage towards him. It immediately flew to him, and once he had it in his possession, he pulled it towards his chest, cradling it.
He Xuan watched impassively as Pei Ming landed lightly near the group, still holding the stranger in white. With narrowed eyes, he noted that the soul seemed to have squashed itself to the side of the cage furthest from the stranger, shaking every time the person lightly brushed against the cage, and trying to curl in further on itself as if to hide away. Something was extremely wrong here, and He Xuan had no intention of being caught off guard. He subtly commanded the nearby winds to flow around the area, preparing for a potential battle.
Warily staring at the two, he heard the rest of the group land near him as the stranger pushed against Pei Ming’s chest, signaling for Pei Ming to set him down. The corners of Pei Ming’s mouth turned down and he seemed to tighten his hold, before jerkily nodding and finally setting the other man down. The moment the stranger’s feet touched the ground, he distanced himself a little further, before turning to face everyone.
He Xuan inhaled sharply when he saw the figure clearly.
The man’s face was covered by a half smiling and half crying mask.
Why Are You Back?
Xie Lian’s pupils shrank when the stranger turned around, exposing the mask.
He had never thought he’d see that hateful mask again in his life after Ju Wu had defeated Bai Wuxiang.
Impossible.
However, he couldn’t deny what was in front of him. Shi Wudu’s pained screams echoed in his head as he stared at the figure, hands trembling slightly.
“You?!” Xie Lian took a shaky step backward before he braced himself. They were here for answers about Shi Wudu. He couldn’t fail him again. Upon a closer look, it was clear that the individual wearing the mask was not Bai Wuxiang. However, that did not mean that he could throw caution to the wind. His eyes shone with determination as he immediately summoned Ruoye.
“Go!” With a single command, Ruoye raced towards the masked person with deadly intent, but before it even touched its target, Pei Ming grabbed it, his face like stone as he prevented it from moving any further.
Ruoye wrapped itself around Pei Ming, preparing to break his bones to free itself. Despite its crushing pressure, and every attempt to break free and snake towards the masked person, Pei Ming refused to let go, his teeth gritted tightly.
“Pei Ming! What is the meaning of this? Do you not recognize that mask?” Xie Lian yelled, absolutely dumbfounded at Pei Ming’s actions. There was no way Pei Ming would not know just what that mask represented. All of Heaven knew of the Calamity Bai Wuxiang. This was not a simple mistake on Pei Ming’s part, which possibly meant…
Xie Lian immediately turned to face Pei Ming, body tensing as he prepared himself for a fight.
Normally being aggressive wouldn’t be ideal, but there was no possible chance for civility here. Not when that mask appeared again. Though the body shape and height of the person were different from Bai Wuxiang’s, that mask was undeniably his, and thus whoever was behind that mask must be connected to him. The fact that Xie Lian had just sent a child who had been inflicted with the human face disease with Ling Wen to care for — there were simply too many coincidences for there to be no correlation that Bai Wuxian was potentially back.
He asked, hoping that he was wrong—trying to give Pei Ming a chance to explain his actions, “Why are you helping him? Do you not know what this looks like?”
Pei Ming scoffed, “You make it sound like you don’t know just who is behind you.”
Pei Ming still refused to let Ruoye go, instead moving to place himself in front of the masked person, shielding him from sight and any possible harm. “Aren’t you the one with the strange relationship with one of the Great Calamities, Hua Cheng? You think you have any right to judge my actions?”
Xie Lian’s eyes hardened. Judging by Pei Ming’s words and actions, it seemed like he was also prepared to fight and shield this stranger despite the consequences. He frowned, there was no other solution. A confrontation was inevitable.
Just as Xie Lian was about to charge forward, a gentle but firm hold on his arm, stopping him. He glanced at the hand in surprise as the Wind Master drew an array into the air, before thrusting his hand out. Winds immediately swirled around him, forming into a huge tornado that headed directly at Pei Ming.
Rather than immediately dodge it, Pei Ming instead turned to grab the stranger to try to take him to safety. However, his actions were halted by a barrier formed by Shi Qingxuan, Qing Shui floating by his side. Closed in with nowhere to go, he instead curled his body around the other person, attempting to shield him from the cutting blades of wind. However, the winds were merciless and powerful, forcefully separating the two of them.
Pei Ming crashed harshly into the side of the mountain, a cloud of rubble burying him, while the stranger neatly flipped to disperse his momentum, landing by the entrance of a nearby cave. The moment the two landed, Xie Lian summoned Ruoye back to his side as he and Hua Cheng rushed towards the stranger, while He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan lunged at Pei Ming’s buried body.
Watching their movements, the masked person immediately crushed a spider lily in his hand, summoning a noxious cloud of poisonous mist around him. Holding his breath, Xie Lian commanded Ruoye to encircle the stranger’s waist and pull him out of the cloud. He froze when he heard the masked person let out a small chuckle.
So familiar.
A creeping dread was worming its tendrils into his heart. He had a feeling that he should know that laugh, but he couldn’t remember exactly who the voice belonged to. The sheer feeling of malaise wouldn’t leave him.
Something was wrong. Something was very wrong but he didn’t know what.
In the midst of his hesitation, the masked stranger sent a wave of spiritual energy at him, falling spider lilies filling the air with even more poisonous gas. Seeing his frozen form, Hua Cheng stepped in front of him and blasted the energy and poison away with a casual wave of his hand. Xir Lian gave a grateful nod to Hua Cheng, who smiled back at him as he summoned a cloud of silver butterflies, directing them towards the stranger. However, it seemed the butterflies’ target was unaffected by the swarm, seemingly batting them aside easily.
“Useless. The butterflies do not affect him. It appears that what is in front of us is no more than a corpse puppet.” Hua Cheng narrowed his eyes at the stranger as he walked closer to Xie Lian.
A corpse puppet? So someone was controlling it, and that someone had decided to put that mask on the puppet. Icy fear gripped Xie Lian as he stepped back and quickly glanced at the soul on the ground in front of the cave, where it had been flung in the midst of the chaos. It seemed that the soul had somehow managed to push the cage to the side, and was quietly rolling inside of the cave.
They had to either get the soul or the stranger. Since the soul was unable to fight or escape, it was definitely the easier target. This was also the perfect time to steal the soul away — especially since both Pei Ming and the masked stranger were separated from the soul and were distracted by their own battles.
When Xie Lian turned towards Hua Cheng, he was smiling back at him. Xie Lian’s lips unconsciously curled up. Although they had not known each other for very long, Hua Cheng always seemed to know exactly what he wanted with only a single glance.
With a last nod, Hua Cheng returned his attention to the stranger once more and started to battle more intensely than before to take the stranger’s attention and focus away from Xie Lian and the soul. Hua Cheng casually ducked beneath a wave of spiritual energy, before sending a quick blast that blew the other man further from the front of the cave, though it did not seem to do more than annoy the other. It was clear with a glance that Hua Cheng’s ability was higher than the stranger’s. However, because they aimed to capture him rather than kill him, it evened the odds between the two of them.
Seeing that the stranger was occupied, Xie Lian immediately commanded Ruoye to grab the cage. Ruoye curled itself around a couple of the bars, but as it tried to lift the cage, a hand came out from the shadows and grabbed the cage, halting Ruoye’s movements completely.
Seeing this new and unknown factor, Xie Lian started sprinting for the soul, but before he could even get close to it, the figure stepped into the light.
The man that was now holding onto the cage was wearing ragged black and red robes, and had a forbidding aura, even as he stared at Ruoye with dull and empty eyes. However, as he looked down at the soul in the cage, his entire being seemed to brighten as his eyes widened with almost palpable joy. Without even sparing another glance to Ruoye, he casually broke open the cage and gently took the soul out, tossing the cage and Ruoye out of the cave.
Finally making it to the cave’s entrance, Xie Lian tried to enter, but his progress was immediately halted by a barrier. Desperately pounding at the barrier, he frantically yelled out, “Please give that soul back! We are trying to find our friend, and that soul could help us!”
The figure cast a single glance at him before completely ignoring him, choosing to pay attention to the soul instead. He raised it up to his eye level and carefully inspected it, lightly rubbing against the cracks and wounds the soul had. The soul in return seemed to bask at the attention, gently nuzzling into the stranger’s hands.
Xie Lian, seeing the soul’s and the man’s actions, hesitantly asked, “Do you know who that soul is? Did you two… Know each other?”
The man finally looked at him as a seething anger slowly appeared in his eyes. “There is no need for you to know who he is. What the hell happened to him?” He looked down at the soul again, “If you were the cause of this--” His voice trailed off dangerously as he covered the soul, hiding it away from Xie Lian’s view.
Xie Lian waved his hands agitatedly in front of him, “No no! We found the soul already wounded. I don’t know what happened to him. We are trying to figure that out.” Xie Lian watched as the man slowly scanned his face, judging him.
The man’s eyes narrowed a bit in suspicion, before finally seeming to decide to trust his words. “If you weren’t the one who caused him to be like this, then why did you leave him in this state? Why did you not heal him?”
Xie Lian winced, as he explained, “To heal a damaged soul—especially a soul as damaged as this one… It would require that soul to consume a great number of other souls. However, once those souls are devoured, they will never be able to reincarnate. For the sake of everyone, the better and more merciful solution would be to simply completely disperse the soul once we discover whatever information it is holding.”
“Disperse him?” The man’s voice lowered, fury leaking from every syllable. “You intended on dispersing him after using him? Despite knowing that he will also have no chance of reincarnation?”
He hissed as his eyes glowed red, “Shi-- This person should never have gotten to this point that he would want to harm his soul to such an extent. How could-- What kind of life and horror was he forced to bear? How much did he suffer? If only--”
The man cut himself off with a harsh exhale, as he shook his head, “I know well what he would need to heal. I just wondered why you were unwilling to take that step. If he needs to consume a couple of souls to heal, then so be it.”
He muttered almost as an afterthought, “He only needs one more anyway.”
Xie Lian stared at the man. From what Xie Lian was able to tell from the soul’s state, it needed far more than only one more soul to heal. However, this man claimed otherwise. According to He Xuan, the soul had consumed the souls of thirty children, and was currently only fifty to sixty percent healed. The strength of the souls it consumed directly related to how much the soul could heal. Therefore, the only way for the soul to be healed by consuming only one more soul, would be for it to absorb an extremely powerful being.
Only a god or an extremely powerful ghost on the level of a Supreme would be able to qualify. It would be unthinkable that a being that powerful would be willing to sacrifice all that they worked for just to heal a single soul. This man was clearly claiming the impossible, and was likely heading down the path of ruin if he tried to heal the soul.
Hurriedly speaking, Xie Lian cried out, “That soul has already eaten the souls of thirty children! Thirty children will never be able to reincarnate. Thirty lives and all of their potential are irrevocably gone. The soul will need at least twenty more souls to heal, which will only add to the number that will lose their chance of reincarnation. I am sorry to say this to you, but it is simply not right to sacrifice that many people for the sake of a single soul.”
Despite his words, the man turned his back to him, walking further into the cave before his despairing eyes. He opened his mouth, desperately trying to stop the man—to get his attention, but before he could get another word in, the man completely disappeared from sight.
Xie Lian laid a shaking hand on the barrier once again, and looked at Ruoye who sadly shook itself from right to left when it also couldn’t get through the barrier. Gritting his teeth, Xie Lian started pounding against the barrier, hoping that despite his lack of spiritual energy he would make it through. However, the barrier remained completely intact. With no other choice, Xie Lian was forced to abandon his mission to retrieve the soul, instead heading back to the two fights that had hopefully gone better than his own endeavor.
Coming up to the clearing, Xie Lian saw that Hua Cheng had tied the stranger up, and left him on the ground. Pei Ming was also defeated on the other side of the clearing, struggling against He Xuan’s hold, as he was smacked constantly by Qing Shui, Shi Qingxuan standing to the side, reinforcing He Xuan’s efforts by using water constructs to hamper Pei Ming’s movements. With a slight gesture, Xie Lian sent Ruoye over to help subdue Pei Ming, allowing He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan to relax.
Xie Lian gave Hua Cheng a grateful smile as he approached, with Hua Cheng sending a gentle smile in return. Standing in front of the stranger, Xie Lian knelt down and carefully observed him. Looking more carefully, it seemed that this was the same individual he had bumped into in the Ghost City gambling den.
He furrowed his brow in contemplation. It seemed that whoever was puppeting this corpse must have been watching them the entire time, and likely was hoping to use them to find the soul. Therefore, the soul was clearly important to this entire situation. They would definitely have to figure out a way to retrieve it from the strange man in the cave sooner rather than later.
He blushed a little as the stranger struggled against the red immortal binding cables, causing his already sheer clothing to become disheveled and even more revealing. Xie Lian’s head tilted as he saw the other man’s legs revealed, through his struggles. The person had a milky white complexion so the crimson lines along his legs created a glaring contrast.
“My apologies.”
The other man remained silent, simply tilting his masked face, as Xie Lian put his hand on his leg. Even though what was in front of him was only a corpse, Xie Lian couldn’t help but mentally apologize again as he pushed aside the man’s clothing, revealing the limb in question even further. He froze in shock. Someone had carefully mutilated the man’s leg, carving several different arrays into his flesh, the script gracefully spiraling along the limb, from his ankle to his thigh.
Pushing his revulsion down, he studied the arrays carefully. It seemed that one was intended to allow another user the ability to fully control this person’s corpse. There were also a multitude of tracking spells engraved as well. However, what truly made Xie Lian pause were the other arrays making up the overall design on the man’s leg. It seemed like the person controlling the corpse had also linked a soul to it, intending for it to feel everything the corpse felt. Did this mean that the soul the corpse had been searching for was linked to this body? Pushing that question aside, Xie Lian’s brow furrowed as he studied the final aray.
This array only added to the mystery surrounding the puppet. It seemed to be intended to keep the corpse in perfect condition, and to heal it from any harm that may occur to it. He stared quizzically at the arrays. As distasteful as it was, usually, an individual who intended to link a soul to a body intended to use the body to torture the detached soul. However, the second array was clearly meant to keep the corpse in perfect condition—something that was unnecessary if the puppet’s master only wanted to cause suffering. Whoever was controlling the corpse seemed to send mixed messages with the arrays they had chosen. Did they want to cause harm, or did they want to keep it safe?
“Get your hands off of him!” Pei Ming growled, struggling harshly against Ruoye’s unforgiving hold.
Xie Lian sighed. It wasn’t like he wanted to disrespect the dead but there was really no other way. At least the body belonged to a gentleman rather than a maiden.
He startled in surprise when he saw He Xuan bend down next to him, reaching out to touch the corpse’s left leg. He Xuan’s eyebrow furrowed and his lips turned down. “As I thought... The left leg seems to have been damaged before. The individual was unable to heal the injury while they were still alive, but whoever is controlling the corpse corrected it after death.”
Shi Qingxuan shook his head as he lightly fanned himself, frowning at the corpse. “Who would be so cruel as to mess around with a disabled person? They couldn’t even let the person rest after death, deciding to play around with his corpse. Talk about holding an obsession.”
Shi Qingxuan tried to move forward to take a closer look at the corpse, but Qing Shui created a barrier before he was able to. He gave an annoyed glance at Qing Shui, as he asked, “Who is this person anyways?”
Xie Lian cast a glance at the still struggling general, shouting curses at them and Ruoye. It seemed that this person was definitely someone who Pei Ming seemed to care deeply for. However, it was clear that he was not the one controlling the corpse, nor was he the one who carved the spells. Pei Ming likely had no idea that the corpse puppet was in fact only a puppet.
Judging by the situation, and Pei Ming’s strange actions, Pei Ming must have been fooled by whoever was controlling the corpse. However, the list of people who could be used to fool Pei Ming to that extent was extremely short. After all, despite his philandering, Pei Ming was still a very capable and intelligent individual with good instincts for danger.
Just who is behind this mask?
Xie Lian’s heart thundered as his hand slowly hovered over the strangely docile man’s mask. Steeling himself, he grasped the edge of the mask with a shaking hand. He didn’t know why, but an almost overwhelming feeling of dread was rising in him. He struggled to control his trembling as he fully removed the mask.
No.
The mask dropped from his nerveless fingers. He knew him. He was the one other god that had stood beside him and helped fight for him—the man that had helped him countless times, and the one who he had been searching for.
Shi Wudu-- How could this-- This can’t be real--
He could faintly hear Shi Qingxuan’s cry as he slowly reached out with shaking hands. Xie Lian gently cupped Shi Wudu’s impassive face, fingers holding him gently, despite the coldness of his body. His heart ached, remembering the warmth he used to feel when Shi Wudu comforted him. Meeting Shi Wudu’s eyes, he nearly recoiled, seeing not a single trace of gentleness that had always been present in the former Water Master’s eyes, despite the former’s constant claims of being a tyrant. Aside from the face and body, nothing was the same.
I can’t do this.
Xie Lian abruptly stood, taking a step backwards as he clenched his eyes shut. He exhaled shakily, trying to calm his rapid breaths. This scenario went beyond his worst expectations in finding Shi Wudu’s body. He had to admit that despite everything he had heard, he had still held onto a tiny ember of hope that perhaps—just maybe—Shi Wudu would still be alive.
However, not only was Shi Wudu definitively dead—and likely dead by his own hand. He had to take a steadying breath. A monster had somehow had the audacity to defile Shi Wudu’s corpse, and treat it like a toy. He blinked back the hot tears that wanted to form.
This should never have happened. I should have realized sooner. I should have looked for you sooner. I have failed you in far greater ways than I had even realized.
He wouldn’t even be able to properly bury Shi Wudu with the respect he deserved. The spells carved into his legs and sprawling across his body saw to that. If Shi Wudu’s body was simply buried, it was highly likely that whoever was controlling his corpse could easily steal the body back, forcing it to return from wherever it was located. The safest way to ensure Shi Wudu’s body could be at peace would be to burn it to ashes.
Shi Wudu’s lips curved up before he burst into laughter. “Hahaha, you should see the looks on your own faces. Absolutely hilarious.” He sneered, “Pathetic.”
“Who are you? What the hell did you do to my ge?” Shi Qingxuan stared at his brother’s face in horror, before raging in fury at the imposter in his brother’s body.
“Who am I? Why I am Shi Wudu’s lover of course.” He smirked, twisting Shi Wudu’s face into a mockery of itself. “I am sure that Shi Wudu would have loved if the crown prince was still with him, but apparently Dianxia was too good to be with someone like him.”
Shi Wudu’s body tilted its head towards Xie Lian, “After all, it was due to you that he had to go to such lengths to kill himself.”
Xie Lian’s body went cold, his tongue like a stone in his mouth.
“What the hell are you saying? My ge-- He wouldn’t-- He wouldn’t have--” Shi Qingxuan couldn’t continue, his words devolving into heart wrenching sobs.
Xie Lian had already guessed that Shi Wudu had likely killed himself due to Qing Shui’s existence, but hearing it explicitly stated still hit him as hard as a physical blow. He glanced at Shi Wudu’s right arm where the cursed shackle had been located, nauseated at the thought. The corpse noticed his stare, and looked mockingly at him.
“Oh you must be wondering how Shi Wudu was even able to die with the cursed shackle on?” The body nodded at its right arm. “The solution was actually quite simple. All he had to do was saw off the limb it was attached to. It took him a lot of effort, but it eventually came off. He is extremely tenacious as you know.”
He sighed, “Such a waste, but it is alright now. As you can see, I fixed it very nicely for him. After all, I was very careful when I sewed it back for him.”
Grinning widely, he brightly said, “I made sure every single stitch was correctly placed to make it look as beautiful as possible... Even if it meant that I had to redo them multiple times to make it perfect.”
Xie Lian shuddered, fighting back the bile that threatened to rise in his throat. He could vaguely hear Shi Qingxuan’s sobs from behind Qing Shui’s barrier, but the buzzing in his ears threatened to drown all sounds out. He startled when he felt a warm hand gently rubbing circles on his back. Looking behind him, he saw that Hua Cheng had come to him. He leaned against Hua Cheng’s chest as he tried to gather his composure again before opening his eyes. He had to focus on getting information right now. He couldn’t afford to wallow in his failings.
He Xuan hadn’t been able to contain himself, storming forward and grabbing Shi Wudu’s right arm. He ripped off the sleeve, staring at the line of intricate crimson carvings and stitching twined around his wrist and running up the length of his arm. “You monster.” He Xuan seethed, clenching his jaw and tightened his hold on Shi Wudu’s arm, until the body had bright red handprints standing out as starkly as the crimson markings.
.
The body tsked, “Careful Wind Master. Please don’t damage Shi Wudu’s body. It took me so long to fully heal it and erase all of the injuries he had when he died.” He Xuan jerked at the corpse’s words, hands clenching reflexively.
Shi Wudu’s corpse tilted its head, “Oh? I forgot. None of you probably knew just how dreadful a state Shi Wudu’s body was in before I got it. You should all thank me for taking him in and taking care of him so well.”
“What do you mean you took care of him ?” Shi Qingxuan seemed to have regained control of his voice as he stared at his brother’s corpse, eyes red with tears, but voice filled with fury.
The corpse laughed, “I mean exactly what I said. It truly was a sight when I found his body absolutely drenched in blood, though he does look absolutely beautiful in red. It’s just a pity that he died in such a manner” It sighed wistfully, “It must have been so painful for him, stabbing himself in the heart with his own fan.” He nodded over in Qing Shui’s direction, “That fan over there if you’re curious.”
Shi Qingxuan let out a wail at the words, pounding at Qing Shui’s barrier, “NO! YOU’RE LYING! HE WOULDN’T HAVE--”
“The existence of that sentient spiritual weapon is enough proof that I am telling the truth. How well do you actually think you know your brother? I’m sure you didn’t know about just how many scars he had lining his arms—how many injuries he had sustained throughout the time he was banished.” It narrowed its eyes.
“If he ended up in such a state without me around, it was honestly for the best that I came to fix him. Almost all of his injuries, he had inflicted on himself. Now tell me again, just how much you all truly care about him?”
It sneered, “You think you could care for him more than I have?” Suddenly, something seemed to snap in the puppet’s demeanor, “THE REASON HE EVEN DIED IN THE FIRST PLACE WAS BECAUSE OF ALL OF YOU! YOU WERE THE REASON HIS BODY WAS SO DAMAGED! I SHOULD HAVE HAD HIM FROM THE BEGINNING! HE BELONGS--”
“Stop. Talking.” He Xuan’s eyes were filled with ice, as he covered Shi Wudu’s mouth with his hands. His entire body was trembling as the manic rage in Shi Wudu’s eyes slowly faded as they curled into gleeful crescent moons.
If it weren’t for Hua Cheng’s stabilizing presence, Xie Lian would have sunk to his knees. Every single word the corpse had said was yet another weight added to the guild he held. Had he truly been so callous—so ignorant to Shi Wudu’s obvious suffering that he had driven the other man to that point of no return?
He had shamelessly accepted the help that Shi Wudu had provided, had shamelessly accepted the comfort freely given, and yet not a word of thanks had passed his lips. He had never even apologized to Shi Wudu for leading them down the road of ruin—for being the main reason why Shi Wudu had lost his divinity.
How could I have ever claimed that I cared about Shi Wudu?
Was I Just A Burden?
Ge wouldn’t have--No--It’s--Qing Shui--Why?
Shi Qingxuan’s thoughts were a jumbled mess, as he desperately tried to make sense of everything the corpse puppet had just claimed. He had thought and believed for the longest time that someone else had managed to pull some nefarious scheme on his brother—had blamed Pei Ming for the longest time for potentially weakening his brother to the point that someone else might have been able to subdue the former Water Master, but this?
This couldn’t be true.
Yet Qing Shui’s sadly floating form was that indisputable proof of the veracity of the corpse’s words. With a shaking hand he brushed the fan’s surface. His breaths came out in choking heaves as he slowly wrapped his hand around the handle, bringing his forehead down to touch the Qing Shui. Tears coursed down his face as he finally accepted a truth he had long shied away from.
His brother had died.
His brother had died because he had not been strong enough to help him—because he had been too stupid to think any deeper on his brother’s actions. When he had been drinking and laughing with others, how had his brother suffered? When he had been so focused on training, what tragedies had his brother endured for his sake? He had never questioned the disappearance of the Venerable of Empty Words, thinking it had been due to his rising spiritual powers, but what might his brother have done to make the Venerable disappear?
Why? Why couldn’t you have told me? Did you think I couldn’t help shoulder your troubles? Did I not get strong enough fast enough?
Why couldn’t I see you were struggling?
Had I always been a stone around your neck pulling you to your death?
Ge?
Why Did I Let Go Of Your Hand?
He Xuan struggled for breath as he closed his eyes, unable to stare a second more at the twisted vision of his Wudu’s face. As much as he hated every word the corpse had spewed, he couldn’t help but feel slivers of truth behind its words.
Because.
Letting Shi Wudu leave his temple that night was a regret that had grown into a yawning chasm threatening to swallow him whole. He should have chained Shi Wudu to his side, to make sure that no harm came to him—even if that harm came from Shi Wudu himself. If he had locked Shi Wudu away, none of this would have happened—this monster would never have had the opportunity to sink his claws into Shi Wudu’s body.
If he had acted more decisively—if he had acted sooner, he could have stopped all of this. Worse, he had not only let Shi Wudu slip away—he had not done enough to find Shi Wudu to prevent his further disgrace after death. He dropped his hands away from the puppet’s mouth, unable to even muster the strength to lift them. If he had just done more—perhaps they would never be in the situation they were in right now.
His eyes burned with a cold fury as he eyed the marks along Shi Wudu’s body, a ghastly canvas for the whims of a demon. It was as if his heart was frozen in his chest, but he couldn’t let himself falter. He was going to find out just who was controlling Wudu’s body, and he was going to make sure they suffered .
I Failed You.
When Shui-xiong—No. When the puppet had laughed, verifying that Shui-xiong was dead, something within Pei Ming had shattered. He should have known from the second the false Shi Wudu appeared in front of him. He should have known , and yet—a wild joy had taken hold of Pei Ming’s heart, refusing to even entertain that possibility. There were a thousand things he should have noticed, and he had ignored them all because he had missed Shi Wudu, he had wanted him, and he finally had him back. He had let himself be fooled and he would never forgive himself for it.
But even worse. Far worse. When that thing wearing Shui-xiong’s face had taunted them with the cruelty Shui-xiong had suffered through—the fact that Shui-xiong had--had--
Something broke beyond repair in Pei Ming’s soul.
“No,” He croaked out, so softly no one heard, “No, please, stop.” How laughable, the great Martial God Pei Ming, begging someone for mercy over mere words. If he didn’t feel like he was dying, he’d laugh at himself.
He should have known as soon as he had learned Shi Wudu’s personal transmission array password. He should have realized, and he should have searched for him with every single resource he had. He should have petitioned all of the gods for their help—should have gone directly to Jun Wu to intervene. He should have let go of his goddammned pride and understood that just him and Ling Wen searching was not enough. If he had done all of that sooner, would Shui-xiong still have died? Would he have suffered such torment?
Even worse, the search for Shui-xiong’s body— God. They should have burned through all the realms to find Shui-xiong’s body. Years. No. Centuries . That demon had been defiling and torturing Shi Wudu’s body for centuries . Ever since he had disappeared. How could they have left him with that bastard?
He mumbled “Shui-xiong,” to himself over and over again, as if it was a mantra that could perhaps make everything alright—as if it could actually summon the real Shi Wudu in front of him with his fond and exasperated gaze. He struggled against Ruoye, uncaring of the blood that had started to leak out from the binds, simply trying to reach towards his Shui-xiong’s body—to somehow make this—make something right.
Because nothing would ever be alright again, would it?
He wants to hold Shui-xiong in his arms. He wants to, wants it more than his next breath, more than anything he has ever wanted before. Wants one more chance to feel the weight of his Shui-xiong in his arms, to breathe in his scent of osmanthus and bamboo that always seemed to hover around him. He wants to, but he won’t ever get that chance. As he lay there in the dirt, eyes locked onto Shui-xiong’s corpse, he realized that if what he was feeling now was grief, he had truly never known it before.
Finally slumping in Ruoye’s unrelenting bonds, he let himself weep for all that he had allowed to happen.
Even if it took the rest of my existence, I will never be able to atone for what was done to you.
We Were Wrong.
“Why did you want the soul?” Hua Cheng's voice cut through everyone’s chaotic thoughts like a sharp blade.
Xie Lian jolted at the sharpness in Hua Cheng’s voice as he blinked rapidly, looking back at Shi Wudu’s body.
Shi Wudu relaxed his face and with an innocent look he said, “Why would you ask such an obvious question? Surely the great Crimson Rain Sought Flower would have known why I want the soul?”
Hua Cheng stared impassively at the corpse.
At his unbothered demeanor, the puppet sneered, “Why else would I want or care for some stupid soul if it wasn’t Shi Wudu’s?”
No.
Xie Lian staggered. The wounded soul had not been Shi Wudu’s lover, but had been Shi Wudu himself. They had been looking for Shi Wudu the entire time, and despite the fact that they had actually found him, they had let him slip through their fingers—no—they had almost hand-delivered him to his tormentor. His face twisted as he recalled the wounded state that Shi Wudu’s soul was in, and the last moment he saw him as the ghost took his soul away.
Hua Cheng immediately caught his arm, helping him regain his balance. He leaned heavily into the support Hua Cheng patiently offered, feeling the shame of continually failing Shi Wudu pile onto his shoulders. Xie Lian hardly had the strength to lift his head, wondering just how many mistakes one could make regarding another person.
“Ge is here?!” The words seemed to have revitalized Shi Qingxuan, his hand brusquely wiping away his tears. His eyes darted around the area, as he anxiously moved around, searching for the small soul and golden cage, before he anxiously turned towards Xie Lian. “Xie Lian, what happened to my brother’s soul? I don’t see it here.”
Xie Lian couldn’t meet his eyes, “I-- When the fights broke out, the soul rolled towards one of the caves. A man came out of the cave and took the soul away. I was unable to break the barrier he had erected to keep me out.”
He bit his lip, “I’m so sorry Shi Qingxuan.”
Shi Qingxuan anxiously waved away his apology, “We can’t waste time. Show us where that barrier is, and we can go and break it.” He paced back and forth, Qing Shui in hand, as he almost compulsively cradled it to him.
“Alright, He Xuan, can yo--” Xie Lian was cut off by a triumphant cry.
“I knew it! I knew that he would come out if it was for him!“ Shi Wudu’s smile stretched obscenely across his face.
Everyone stared in confusion at the corpse’s jubilant laughter. What did he mean that this person would only come out if it sensed Shi Wudu close by? What was Shi Wudu’s relationship with this man, and what exactly was the puppeteer’s goal and motive?
“As lovely as it has been to have this reunion, I have urgent business to attend to, and this body’s energy has finally replenished.” With those words, the corpse smirked as it cut its bonds with a heavenly spiritual tool it had somehow hidden away. Clapping his hands together, it activated the transmission arrays carved into the palms of his hands.
“Shit, that sick bastard even carved a fucking transmission array on the palms of Shi Wudu’s hands.” He Xuan growled in rage as he immediately lunged towards the corpse. However, a red light surrounded Shi Wudu’s body, and a burst of poisonous mist forced him back. The corpse brushed his robes off casually, bending down to pick up his discarded mask. Brushing the dirt off, the corpse held it up and pressed a loving kiss directly on the mask’s mouth.
“Dianxia, I just want you to know. The next time we meet, I hope that we can team up. After all, my lover misses you dearly.” Saying this, Shi Wudu’s body twirled around and disappeared in a flurry of red spider lilies, returning back to its master once more.
Xie Lian stared at the spider lilies left behind, the clearing silent save for their harsh breathing.
Shi Wudu, will we ever be able to save you?
Another more insidious thought lingered in the back of Xie Lian’s guilt-ridden mind.
Would you even want to be saved by us?
Notes:
Emperor AU
Shi Wudu was busy reading a trashy novel when the Eunuch suddenly walked into his room, holding a tray. He groaned the moment he saw the Eunuch and slowly closed his novel. Whenever the Eunuch entered his chamber at night, it was only for one thing, and that one thing was never a good thing. He already knew what was on the tray without looking at it.
“Wh-”
“Ling Wen.” Shi Wudu sharply cut the Eunuch off. Every single night, the Eunuch would ask him whose bed he would be warming and without fail, Shi Wudu would answer Ling Wen. Ling Wen was the only safe choice.
“Unfortunately, Concubine Ling Wen’s tassel isn’t on the tray tonight.”
“What? That’s not possible?” Shi Wudu hurried off the bed and quickly scanned the tray. There was Pei Ming’s matching tassel, Jun Wu’s tassel earrings, and He Xuan’s name tag.
“Why?”
“Concubine Ling Wen took her tassel off the tray and went to the spa for a day off. Please choose one from the tray to spend the night with.”
“Xie Lian’s curse shackles. Where are they?”
“You pardoned Xie Lian and allowed him to marry Hua Cheng.”
“Fuc--I mean of course I did.” Shi Wudu became desperate. “Where is Shi Qingxuan’s fan?”
“You can’t sleep over at your brothers. You must choose one between the three.”
“FUCK!!! LING WEN!! You can’t just leave me like this! LING WEN!”
*Meanwhile, LW is chilling at her spa, slowly enjoying her cup of wine.*
no_temporis: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Arc two would be coming to an end next chapter.
Chapter 17: If Only Time Could Stop For Just This Moment.
Chapter Text
When Shen Yuan opened his eyes, he was greeted with achingly familiar scenery. White muslin draped over his bed to form a canopy, while delicately scented sachets hung from the four bed posts. He shakily pushed himself up as he stared with wide eyes at the rest of the room. His breath rushed out as he saw the table in the center of the room, where he and Binghe had shared countless meals and conversations together. With trembling limbs, Shen Yuan finally crawled out of his bed and cautiously stepped towards the table.
Reaching it, he slowly brushed its edge with his fingertips, before screwing up his courage to firmly place his hand on the table, feeling its lacquered surface.
It was solid under his hand.
He could feel and see all of the imperfections that had built over the years. That crack from when Shen Yuan had accidentally dropped a ceramic teapot, the small chips that came from his annoyed tapping when he and Shang Qinghua would hang out, that spot where the lacquer had worn away from where he’d rested his arm while Liu Qingge had cleansed his meridians. All of those defects were there.
It looked absolutely perfect.
His eyes darted towards the wall where his fans were artfully displayed. While the fans were in and of themselves extremely gorgeous works, more importantly—far more importantly, they were everything he remembered, and they were his .
In a daze, Shen Yuan pushed himself away from the table and headed towards them. He reached out and ran his fingers down the handle of one of the fans. On the surface, the name, ‘Shen Qingqiu’ was carved in delicate characters. He rubbed his fingers over the carving, feeling the characters over and over again.
“Shizun? This disciple brought breakfast.” A soft voice cut through Shen Yuan’s trance, bringing tears to the corners of his eyes.
That voice.
He had longed to hear that voice again just one more time. He had missed it. He had missed him for so long .
Shen Yuan closed his eyes, savoring the moment, but too desperately afraid to even turn and look. He wanted to pretend. Please just… Let him pretend as long as he could. Let him pretend that he was no longer in that hellish place, but back home where everything was fine; where he was with the people he loved. If he turned to look, if he opened his eyes… This beautiful dream might shatter to pieces, leaving him back with that man.
As long as his eyes remained closed, he could continue pretending that everything was fine. That he was finally back where he belonged. In Qing Jing Peak and not there . His breath stuttered as he fought down panic’s grasping claws.
“Shizun? Shizun?” A warm hand grasped Shen Yuan’s hand and pulled him closer to a firm body.
That scent.
Shen Yuan felt a comforting hold around his waist, and then a gentle touch to his chin, tilting his face up. “Shizun, could you open your eyes and look at this disciple?”
Shen Yuan’s eyelids trembled as he hesitated. However, he could never deny that voice anything. He breathed out slowly as he gathered all his remaining courage to open his eyes and look at the man in front of him.
It’s you.
It’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syouIt’syou
Shen Yuan’s lips slowly curled up as he reached up and laid his palm along the side of the person’s face, caressing it.
It was soft. It was warm. It felt real.
Please. Let me have this. Let this be real.
He let his eyes drink in the face in front of him. Luo Binghe. It really was Luo Binghe. Luo Binghe stared at him with eyes as bright as stars, and with a small smile whispered, “Shizun?”
Shen Yuan forced the corner of his lips to raise slightly to return his bright smile, nodding and humming out an acknowledgement. Binghe’s smile widened as he turned to carefully usher Shen Yuan to the table, where two bowls of steaming congee, youtiao, and other side dishes had magically appeared.
Gracefully sitting down, Shen Yuan picked up his spoon, and immediately dug in, tasting and savoring the flavors that burst across his palate. He could smell the slightly sharp scent of ginger, and the perfectly seasoned pork almost melted on his tongue. He couldn’t help the smile that spread on his face at the familiar flavors. At his smile, Luo Binghe, who had been avidly watching for his reaction, finally picked up his spoon and began eating as well. The only sound that permeated the bamboo house was their gentle breathing and the clink of utensils on dishes, both content to simply be in the other’s presence, with Luo Binghe looking constantly at Shen Yuan, and Shen Yuan not so secretly peeking at him.
When Shen Yuan took his last bite, he reached for the dirty dishes instinctually, used to cleaning them himself. Before his hand even brushed a single dish, Luo Binghe grabbed his hand, stopping him.
“Shizun, there is no need to worry about this mess. Let this disciple take care of everything.” Luo Binghe quickly stacked everything and moved it away from Shen Yuan’s reach, before carrying them out to wash up.
Shen Yuan blinked. That’s right. He was back at Qing Jing. He had someone to take care of him now. Luo Binghe was here, so he didn’t have to worry about any of the countless petty problems he’d dealt with before—before— He shook his head. He was Shen Qingqiu, the wealthy and respected Qing Jing peak lord.
Pushing himself to his feet, he walked to the window. His heart lightened as he saw Ming Fan and Ning Yingying teaching the other disciples sword techniques. With a fond sigh, he watched their movements, so proud at seeing how much all of them had grown from their original characters. A bright voice yelling “Ge!” echoed in his mind. He tensed as he brushed the stray thought away. Looking around, he saw that Luo Binghe would take a bit to clean up, and it seemed like Ning Yingying and Ming Fan had everything under control here. With everyone busy, Shen Yuan decided to head over to An Ding Peak.
It had felt like ages since he had seen the fellow transmigrator (he supposed he could deign to call him friend). Despite Shang Qinghua being a weak coward and hack author, he was still the best at gathering information and gossip, and was always abreast of the latest news. He hastened his pace, pushing down his rising excitement. He was mostly excited to find out the latest gossip—not to see Shang Qinghua. Nosy hamsters had their uses after all.
I Wish I Could Keep You.
Luo Binghe dried his hands with a clean cloth as he watched his Shizun’s retreating back slowly fade into the distance. He looked at the organized dishes, freshly stacked on the shelves, and let out the breath he had unknowingly been holding, telling himself that this distance was only temporary.
It seemed that even after all this time, some truths would never change. Luo Binghe had watched hundreds of thousands of sun rises and sun sets, had seen the melting of the winter snows give way to the blooming spring buds thousands of times, had counted the millions of breaths he had taken since he had last seen his Shizun. The world had changed, the gods had changed, he had changed, but no matter how much time had passed, the shortness of his breath and the rapid beating of his heart whenever Shen Qingqiu was near, still remained the same.
The qi deviation he had suffered after realizing Shizun had died the second time had stripped him of his mortal body. However, he had retained enough of his consciousness to use his soul to suppress Xin Mo and prevent any further damage the sword or others who would seek to wield it might wreak. The unfortunate consequence of that was that he had in essence sealed himself along with Xin Mo within that fateful cave in Maigu Ridge.
When he had found himself sealed away, he had at first held out hope that perhaps Shizun would miraculously be revived and return to him due to the efforts of the other peak lords. He was fully prepared to (begrudgingly) offer thanks to Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan, and even Shang Qinghua for their efforts. However, after the first few years of fruitless waiting, he had been forced to reluctantly acknowledge that this time, the only thing he really could do, was wait for Shizun to return.
During the first few hundred years of his self-imprisonment, he was visited from time to time by his former retainers, and memorably, even a few of the peak lords, but eventually their visits ceased, and he was left alone. He found himself only vaguely concerned about their fates, not knowing whether they had died or faded into anonymity, and wondered what had become of his own territories his former retainers had managed.
He half-hoped that Mobei-Jun and Sha Hualing had burned down his fortress in the demon realm and Huan Hua Palace before they departed.
The Luo Binghe who had cared about those things was gone—burned away through his qi deviation, the loss of Shizun, and the grinding crawl of time. He was all that was left.
Time and time again, Luo Binghe would sometimes wonder, whether this strange sense of freedom was what his own father had felt when he had also been sealed away—a freedom from the trappings of title—of obligation. Freedom from all that he used to be, but no longer was.
But his father was likely dead, and there was no way to know any more.
Around one thousand years after he had been sealed, Luo Binghe decided that he hated Shizun. However, after one year, Luo Binghe was unable to continue. He had tried, but he just couldn't lay the blame at Shizun’s feet. His sealing was not Shizun’s fault. The fault lay squarely on his own shoulders.
It had been his decision to try to disastrously merge the realms, his decision to not listen when Shizun had spoken, his qi deviation that had forced Shizun to sacrifice himself again , and it was his choice to stay and suppress Xin Mo. It had been his choice and no one else’s. Once he had realized that, he decided that rather than hate Shizun, he should hate himself, and that came to him with breathtaking ease.
For almost three centuries, Luo Binghe constantly replayed those final moments in the cave with Shizun, wondering if he could have done anything differently. He could not stop his anger at his own weakness, letting himself be overtaken by his own inadequacies. Now he was sealed, paying his penance by keeping Xin Mo suppressed, waiting for Shizun to return to him.
If he returned.
He wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t
There was not a single day where he did not imagine Shizun returning to him—did not long for his Shizun’s smile.
There was not a day in which he did not think of him.
He let himself have his imagination, because he could not dare hope that Shizun would forgive him, much less want him. After all, he was the one who had killed him. Not just once, but twice. And he would never forgive himself for it, because there was nothing he could ever do to atone for it.
But he still waited.
And then, more than four thousand years after he had sealed himself in that cave, he finally sensed Shizun’s presence.
And his heart bloomed .
Shizun had returned .
Even though Luo Binghe had not done a damn thing to deserve it.
When he held Shizun’s fragile soul in his shaking hands, it was as if the agony of waiting had melted away, and all he could think was that now that Shizun was back with him, he would do all he could to ensure that Shizun would be safe and protected.
As he remembered their reunion, Luo Binghe closed his eyes and gently touched the fake jade Guanyin hanging around his neck, before tightening his grip around it. There was no forgiveness he could ask for, nor did he even seek it. However, what he could do was finally repay Shizun. Just as Shizun had said to him so long ago, “ Everything that’s happened in the past, I’ll repay it all to you today. ”
It had taken him time to truly gain perspective, and unfortunately it had come much too late to have saved Shizun back then, but perhaps he could finally save Shizun this time around.
Shizun, this disciple is truly sorry.
Thank You For Being My Friend.
The moment Shen Yuan walked into Shang Qinghua’s office, and saw a mountain of scrolls, the scent of ink and tea drifted through his mind.
Ling Wen.
He tensed, brushing that name away. He was at An Ding Peak. He was in Shang Qinghua’s office. Those thoughts and ghosts didn’t belong here. He was Shen Qingqiu.
One of the corners of Shen Yuan’s lips curled up in a smirk as he heard panicky rustling behind the mountain, amusedly thinking of the misfortune Shang Qinghua was currently facing. Most likely, Liu Qingge must have been “training” his disciples, forcing Shang Qinghua to clean up his mess as a result of said training.
It was honestly karma for Airplane-bro to be stuck with these problems because he chose to write such a shitty peak. Why create a peak where literally no one wanted to go to, because not only were they constantly bullied and looked down upon, they also had one of the biggest workloads? Every peak should have a balance of pros and cons, but because of his own absolutely terrible writing, Shang Qinghua’s peak had almost no benefits.
“Shang Qinghua!” Shen Yuan called imperiously as he tapped his foot against the floor. Although Shang Qinghua was a weakling and a coward, he was the only one who could understand him, and was the only person he could truly be his inner gremlin self around.
Though Luo Binghe and so many others were good to him, he would never be able to act around them the way he wanted to without it being deemed inappropriate. He was a modern person with modern needs and behaviors, and Shang Qinghua was the only modern person who could understand.
“Cucumber bro!” Shang Qinghua sprang from his chair as he darted towards Shen Yuan.
“Look at the pile of work Liu Qingge dumped on me! There is no way I am going to finish. I’m dying, you need to help me out!” He cried pathetically, waving a brush still dripping with ink around, sending a fine splatter on the mountain of scrolls on his desk.
Shen Yuan eyed the mess with a moue of distaste, before sighing and staring at Shang Qinghua with narrowed eyes, “Why are you so pathetic? Fine. Lock the place down, and let’s get to work.”
With that said, he immediately moved to take off his boots and socks. It was only until he was taking off his robes that he noticed Shang Qinghua hadn't yet moved to lock the doors. He seemed to be frozen in place, staring at him with wide eyes accompanied by vivid blush. “You? Have you always--”
Shen Yuan lifted an eyebrow at Shanq Qinghua’s strange behavior. When they were alone, they always stripped down until they were only wearing their last two layers. Both of them were suffering millennials, forced to adhere to xianxia standards of propriety. To others, they had to uphold a proper appearance—Shen Yuan more than Shang Qinghua (the hack), but in front of each other, propriety had been beat down, tied up, and summarily thrown down the mountain.
“Shang Qinghua, didn’t you want me to help you?” Shen Yuan sent an annoyed glance Shang Qinghua’s way as he pulled out his hairpiece, allowing his hair to fall down, before quickly tying his hair into a ponytail with a ribbon.
Shang Qinghua quickly rushed to lock all the doors and notified the disciples outside not to bother him before sitting on the ground next to Shen Yuan. Briefly hesitating, Shang Qinghua finally took off his shoes before turning towards Shen Yuan.
“So what did you want to talk to me about? I know I’m not that important to warrant the great Shen Qingqiu to come over only to help me with my work.” Shang Qinghua snarked as he pushed a pile of scrolls along with a brush and an ink stone towards Shen Yuan. “Talk to me as we work because this has to be done or else Yue Qingyuan is going to have my skin.”
“Yue Qingyuan isn’t that scary.” Shen Yuan rolled his eyes at Shang Qinghua’s whining and gave him a light kick to the leg. “Don’t act so dramatic.”
“Yue Qingyuan is scary. You just never see it because he favors you.” Shang Qinghua pouted and under his breath, he even dared to mumble. “Unfair.”
“That again is your fault. You reap what you sow. Anyways, you should know how to handle him since you created him.” Shen Yuan carelessly brushed off Shang Qinghua’s complaints as he analyzed the scroll in front of him.
“Huh? I what him?” Shang Qinghua tilted his head, staring at Shen Yuan with a quizzical `gaze.
Shen Yuan’s eyes widened at Shang Qinghua’s answer. Buzzing filled his ears before he bit his lower lip and changed the topic hurriedly. “It was Liu Qingge who caused this problem wasn’t it?”
Shang Qinghua nibbled the tip of his brush. “Of course it was that rock-brained oaf. Why did he suddenly have to fight Luo Binghe and create this problem I have to solve? Why can’t he clean up after his own mess? Why me?”
“Who told you to be the An Ding Peak Lord? Besides, can you even imagine Liu Qingge doing paperwork? He would be far more likely to somehow get in a fight with all of these scrolls rather than properly complete them.”
Shang Qinghua facepalmed as Shen Yuan continued, “Anyway, who else could Yue Qingyuan push Liu Qingge’s paperwork to, hmm? My Qing Jing Peak?” He scoffed. “As if.”
Shang Qinghua whined as he dramatically draped himself over Shen Yuan’s shoulder, “That’s why it’s so unfair. I’m the one who always gets paperwork thrown in my face.”
Shen Yuan stiffened immediately at the sudden pressure, the feeling of confinement from Shang Qinghua’s body on top of him sent panic rocketing through him.
No. No-- Stop!
Something must have shown on his face, because Shang Qinghua actually moved back a little, giving Shen Yuan a concerned look. “Cucumber bro?”
“It’s nothing.” Shen Yuan roughly pushed the scroll in his hand aside and grabbed another one to pretend to be busy with. Shang Qinghua dropped the subject the moment he saw Shen Yuan’s clear refusal to speak any further.
They worked in silence for a bit, until Shen Yuan, guilty over the awkward atmosphere between them, decided to start a new conversation, “You know Binghe--”
He cut himself off with a gasp, as a piercing pain lanced viciously through his heart. His entire body seized up, as he curled into himself, feeling as if something was breaking inside of him. Shen Yuan chewed at his lip, refusing to let out another sound as he broke out in a cold sweat, shivering while Shang Qinghua’s hands hovered around him in panicky, fluttering motions, seemingly unsure whether it was alright to touch him.
He breathed through the pain, riding it out slowly, before he was able to finally focus on his surroundings. Shang Qinghua was crouched in front of him, an anguished look on his face. “Are you alright? Do I need to send someone to fetch Mu Qingfang?”
Shen Yuan looked down and waved his hand, brushing aside Shang Qinghua’s concern. “I’m fine. It’s nothing.”
“Are yo--”
“It’s fine.” Shen Yuan sharply cut Shang Qinghua off when he saw him get up. Shen Yuan reached out and weakly grabbed onto Shang Qinghua’s robe, preventing him from moving any further. Shang Qinghua sighed, but didn’t move.
“Don’t leave. I haven’t gotten my book yet.”
“What book?” Confusion flashed across Shang Qinghua’s face before a stupid and dorky grin slowly formed. “I thought you hated it.”
Shen Yuan deadpanned, “I do. You can’t write even if your life depended on it. Which in some cases, it actually does.”
“What? Bro! So you just want to read it to rip it apart. Why do you even read it if you don’t like it?” Shang Qinghua grumbled as he turned to his desk, to retrieve the book.
“It’s because the plot is somewhat passable that I read it. However, you just had to fill it up with--.” Just as a light blush formed across Shen Yuan’s face, he pulled out a fan, covering it before mumbling, “unnecessary things.”
“Those so-called unnecessary things are what earns money.” Shang Qinghua grinned as he rubbed his thumb against his pointer finger. He smugly noted, “I knew you enjoy what I write. Someone is just too shy to admit it.”
“Aw, someone seems shy.” The man’s mocking voice lingered in his ears. He shuddered as the sound of footsteps slowly came closer, each step caused dread to fill him like an acid, burning away at his courage. HIS chuckle echoed as Shen Yuan turned his head away, refusing to respond to the taunt.
It didn’t matter anyway.
No matter how Shen Yuan screamed, cried, or even begged, it never worked. That man would only shush him with an almost tender voice, or chuckle at his behavior--as if he was merely a misbehaving child. And then his hands would be on him, always violating, bringing pain—or even worse—pleasure. It wouldn’t stop. It never would.
Nothing ever changed.
Shang Qinghua’s voice cut through the roaring in Shen Yuan’s ears, as he forcefully grabbed Shen Yuan’s shoulders to brace him. “.....Listen….me...Okay?…can... Breathe..”
Shen Yuan could only hear bits and pieces of what Shang Qinghua was trying to say, his voice muffled as if it was coming through water. Staring at Shang Qinghua’s face, he forced himself to focus on those familiar features. He had to calm down. He had to calm down and... Breathe. He just needed to breathe.
He inhaled deeply, bringing his hands up to gently shrug out of Shang Qinghua’s hold, nodding in thanks.
“Are you sure you are okay?” Shang Qinghua furrowed his eyebrows as he loosened his hold.
Pain pierced — sharp and cutting in his heart, but Shen Yuan clenched his jaw and kept silent. Some things shouldn’t be said or mentioned, especially if it wasn’t something that could be solved. He breathed slowly, clenching his fist until his knuckles turned white and his nails dug into his palms. With one final deep breath in, Shen Yuan looked up. “I’m fine .”
He was fine.
He had to be.
He wasn’t broken. He wasn’t….broken.
“That’s good!” Although Shang Qinghua’s eyebrows were still furrowed in concern, he tried to lighten his voice and lift the mood. “If anything happened to the princess, do you know how many people would have my head? Luo Binghe, Liu Qingge, and Yue Qingxuan for a start.”
“Who are you calling--” Shen Yuan clenched his jaw once more as the pain came back with even more intensity.
“You are not fine. I really--” Shang Qinghua bit his lower lips and tried to get up once more, but Shen Yuan quickly grabbed his robe and pulled him down.
“Instead of worrying about me , you should worry more about what will happen if you don’t finish up your work. Between Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge, Yue Qingyuan would be most likely to make your life miserable if you slacked off.” Shen Yuan tightened his grip on Shang Qinghua’s robe, keeping him on the ground, desperately trying to change the subject.
Shang Qinghua stared helplessly at Shen Yuan. Both of them knew that in Shen Yuan’s weakened state, Shang Qinghua could easily overpower him and leave. However, despite the uncertainty on his face, Shen Yuan’s expression must have convinced him. With a slow nod, he acquiesced to Shen Yuan’s silent command, settling down.
“True, but between Yue Qingyuan and Liu Qingge, Liu Qingge is scarier in my book. Yue Qingyuan would actually listen to what I have to say before taking my head but I have a strong feeling that Liu Qingge would just chop me down first and question later.”
“That is Liu Qingge’s style…” Shen Yuan laughed, before breaking off. The pain in his chest flaring up and setting everything aflame. He struggled through it, and finally managed to ask the most important question. “How is Binghe?”
Again, there was a flash of hesitation before Shang Qinghua answered with a shaky voice. “Luo Binghe...you...know...he is….Are you sure you're okay?”
“Don’t change the subject. He’s what?” Shen Yuan sharply asked. Why couldn’t Shang Qinghua just keep talking? Why did he have to constantly ask unnecessary questions? He’d already said again and again that he was fine. He just needed a few moments. He was fine. Through the burning sensation, Shen Yuan looked up and glared at Shang Qinghua, silently demanding him to continue and pretend.
“Luo Binghe really went crazy after you passed the second time. It’s a good thing that you’re back now. If you leave again I don’t know how to deal with everything.” Shang Qinghua started to ramble as he stared cautiously at Shen Yuan’s lightly trembling form. “Liu Qingge, that crazy bastard was in so much distress that he went on a rampage, trying to fight Luo Binghe despite his condition. He totally would have if Luo Binghe hadn’t--”
Shang Qinghua stopped short with an uncomfortable cough, “Anyways, Yue Qingyuan entered seclusion again. If you keep disappearing on us, we might really need to ascend with just eleven members instead of twelve. You wouldn’t want to not ascend with us would you?”
“Or worse ten if Yue Qingyuan refused to ascend because he hasn’t come out of his seclusion.” Shen Yuan let out a tired smile.
Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua continued to talk, both of them masterfully ignoring all of their problems, trying to pretend that everything was fine. Little by little, Shen Yuan’s tense shoulders started to relax. Sometimes, someone familiar just being there was more enough.
Looking at the burned down incense sticks, he decided that he had stayed long enough with Shang Qinghua, and should really return back to Luo Binghe. He got up with a sigh, and got dressed once again, prompting Shang Qinghua into a flurry of movement as he began his attempts to tidy up. Just as Shen Yuan was about to leave, he hesitated, before turning towards Shang Qinghua.
“Shang Qinghua.” He murmured, “Thank you... You... really are a good friend.” Shen Yuan quickly turned away and raised his fan to hide his furiously blushing face.
“Holy shit. Did I hear what I think I did? Did THE Shen Qingqiu not only thank ME, but also said that he was honored to have me as his friend?” Shang Qinghua dramatically clutched his chest as he teased Shen Yuan.
“SHUT UP. I didn’t say I was HONORED, so don’t put words in my mouth. I just said you were good.” Shen Yuan huffed, but before he could walk away, Shang Qinghua grabbed his arm.
“I am here for you, you know. Aren’t we friends after all?” Shang Qinghua wiggled his eyebrows. Shen Yuan pushed Shang Qinghua's arms off him and walked away, but as he was walking he faintly heard, “If you ever need anything, you can always go to THAT place.”
Shen Yuan walked away with a smile on his face. He honestly didn’t even know why he was friends with someone like Shang Qinghua, he was such an idiotic coward.
Thank You For Protecting Me.
As he walked away, his smile dropped as something within his chest seemed to burst into flames, threatening to devour him whole. Shen Yuan dropped to his knees, coughing and choking violently. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he struggled to breathe, each breath ripping his lungs, as if millions of broken shards were forcing themselves out.
“Shen Qingqiu!” A familiar voice rapidly called out to him, cutting through the roar in his ears. Shen Yuan weakly opened his eyes, and was greeted with the sight of Liu Qingge running towards him. He’d laugh if he had the breath. Why was Liu Qingge always there to witness his weakest moments? Just like… A warm laugh, a teasing grin, and gentle hands filled his mind.
Pei-xiong.
Liu Qingge swept him up from the ground, as he tersely bit out, “I’ll fly you to Qian Cao. Mu Qingfang should be able to help.”
Shen Yuan mustered his strength to gasp out, “No… Nnngh… I’m fine. Just… stay with me please…”
Liu Qingge’s face contorted in an impressive series of acrobatics, before finally giving a curt nod. Settling down on a nearby rock, he silently waited as Shen Yuan hacked out painful gasps, brow furrowed, and eyes intent on Shen Yuan’s trembling form. Finally, Shen Yuan was able to force himself to breathe normally to get a handle on the pain. He let out a weak and apologetic smile to Liu Qingge, trying to clear that crease between the War God’s brows.
Liu Qingge’s face was a mirror to Shang Qinghua’s expression—filled with concern and pity. “Shen--”
“Is that my fan?” Shen Yuan interrupted, desperate to stop Liu Qingge’s concern. Was it really so wrong to pretend that everything was fine? Couldn’t everyone just let him be? He just wanted everything to go back to normal.
Liu Qingge frowned at the sudden change of topic, but otherwise said nothing, clearly reading the stubborn line of Shen Yuan’s lips. While Liu Qingge was bull-headed, and would stubbornly fight a losing battle nonstop for five years; he was weak-willed when faced with his Shixiong’s wishes. He nodded curtly at Shen Yuan’s question, wordlessly pulling it out to present to him.
Shen Yuan suppressed a rueful smile. It seemed that some things never changed, and Liu Qingge’s uncanny ability to always find Shen Yuan and his missing fans was one of them. Shen Yuan had always joked around with Shang Qinghua that Liu Qingge’s secret power was either an ability to put a tracker on him and his fans, or that he had super senses like a dog.
Shen Yuan reached out and grabbed his fan. “Many thanks to Shidi.”
Liu Qingge huffed and turned around. “You need to keep better track of your belongings.”
“Why would I ever need to if I have such a reliable Shidi to help me keep track of them?” Shen Yuan teased. He expected Liu Qingge to get upset at him, but instead, Liu Qingge turned his head and smiled.
“Then help me do my job by staying safe here in Cang Qiong.” Liu Qingge huffed out an amused breath, before standing up and setting Shen Yuan down. Without flourish, he unsheathed Cheng Luan, and jumped on the floating blade. He turned to Shen Yuan with a quirk of his eyebrow, and held out his hand in front of Shen Yuan’s dazed eyes, “Hurry up. Zhangmen-shixiong told me to bring you to Qiong Ding Peak.”
Shen Yuan sighed and grabbed Liu Qingge’s hand hovering in the air. Once Liu Qingge deemed that he had held on tightly enough, the sword began moving. Despite the pace that Shen Yuan knew Liu Qingge could have gone, the sword moved towards Qiong Ding at a gentle and slow pace, allowing the two of them to admire the scenery and simply enjoy the other’s company.
When they finally reached Qiong Ding Peak, Liu Qingge slowly descended, and helped Shen Yuan alight from the sword. Before Shen Yuan turned to leave, Liu Qingge tightened his grip on his hand, and met his eyes.
“If you are ever mistreated or hurt, find me. I will fight them.”
Shen Yuan could only give a fond laugh. What else could he expect from a battle freak like Liu Qingge? Truly the Bai Zhan War God was talented, able to insult his own shixiong, yet also be so endearing in one sentence.
Shen Yuan rolled his eyes, “Don’t look down on your shixiong. This master is not as weak as you think.” He paused, and gave a slight smile, as he looked up at Liu Qingge, “But even if I do need protection, who is to say that you could defeat them?”
Shen Yuan’s heart ached as he looked at Liu Qingge’s solemn face. While he had originally intended to use Liu Qingge to help him deal with Luo Binghe, his intentions had morphed over time to genuine fondness and friendship. He truly counted Qingge as a genuine friend. This man had fought thousands of battles for his sake, discarding his ‘undefeated’ title without a thought, simply because he was fighting for the sake of his friend. Qingge had always taken him as he was, and for that, Shen Yuan would be forever grateful. It was Shen Yuan’s greatest wish that Liu Qingge could live happily rather than risk his life in meaningless battles.
Liu Qingge’s quiet and serious voice cut through Shen Yuan’s musings, “Even if I cannot defeat them, as long as I have even one breath in me, I will continue to fight.”
Shen Yuan gave a tremulous smile, “Shidi… You don’t owe me anything. If it is a losing battle, Liu Qingge, you are smart enough to retreat. Don’t risk your life like that. Not for me.”
Liu Qingge’s brows snapped together as he tightened his grip on Shen Yuan’s hand, “You saved my life before, so it is only right that I would do the same for you. If you don’t want me to risk my life, then just stay safe instead of mindlessly running into danger.” He paused, and took a breath, “We can’t lose you again.”
With a last searching look, Liu Qingge released his hand and sped off, leaving Shen Yuan alone with his thoughts.
Thank You For Welcoming Me.
When Shen Yuan finally walked into Yue Qingyuan’s office, the man quickly dropped his brush and stood up in a flurry of robes. Giving him a gentle smile, Yue Qingyuan firmly steered him towards the table, where tea and various confections had been set out for their enjoyment.
Sitting down with a bemused glance, Shen Yuan looked as Yue Qingyuan elegantly took his place across the table, before pouring tea for the two of them. Shen Yuan would have stopped him if not for the fact that Yue Qingyuan always did this, never mind that Shen Yuan should have been the one pouring tea for the sect leader. As they chatted and enjoyed the tea and sweets, Shen Yuan realized quickly that this meeting was definitely not as important as Liu Qingge had implied. In fact, the meeting was simply because Yue Qingyuan missed his Shen-shidi, and wanted to talk.
Deciding that now was as good a time to bring it up, Shen Yuan casually asked, “About Binghe, would it be an issue if he stayed?” He slowly sipped his tea as he kept a close eye on Yue Qingyuan.
When Yue Qingyuan simply kept silent and looked hesitant, Shen Yuan added, “If there would be an issue, then this shidi would have no choice but to leave as well.”
“Shen-shi--” Yue Qingyuan slammed his cup down in alarm before composing himself. “Cang Qiong Mountain will always welcome you. You don’t need to leave.”
Even if Shen Yuan could live peacefully within Cang Qiong Mountain without an issue, he wouldn’t be able to without Luo Binghe by his side. He wanted to be with him now and forever. Life wouldn’t be the same without him.
“But if Luo Binghe isn’t welcome here, then neither is this one.” Shen Yuan gracefully set down his tea cup, and pushed himself to his feet. No matter how much he loved Qing Jing Peak, it would never feel right if Binghe were missing.
“No! If that is what makes Shen-shidi happy then...” Yue Qingyuan clenched his fist before giving Shen Yuan a tense smile. “Of course Luo Binghe would also be welcome to stay.”
Shen Yuan flashed Yue Qingyuan a grateful smile and bow as he turned to leave, “Many thanks to Zhangmen-shixiong for his boundless generosity and patience with this shidi.”
Just as he was walking out he faintly heard Yue Qingyuan say, “Cang Qiong Mountain will always protect you.”
Waiting For You.
Luo Binghe stood outside the bamboo hut, wistfully watching the dream constructs of long gone people mill around as he waited for Shen Qingqiu’s return. It felt like he was always waiting for Shizun. However, this time it was different. This time, he had let Shizun go of his own accord.
The time in this dream was meant for Shizun. Luo Binghe had set the dream parameters to allow Shizun to do anything he wanted—even if that meant being away from him. Seeing the state his Shizun’s soul was in—he inhaled sharply as he gripped at his chest. He couldn’t even imagine just how his Shizun had suffered. At least this dream… At least here Shizun could feel safe. Luo Binghe had carefully constructed the dream, ensuring that every detail was perfect—that the hopes and wishes of the former peak lords were conveyed to Shizun. He had wanted Shizun to be able to take comfort with those he treasured. However, there was only so much he could do to maintain the illusion.
He sighed as he thought how despite his best efforts, there were still clear indications that he was sure his Shizun had picked up on that everything was merely a dream. After all, his Shizun was still steeped in mystery, and the interaction between him and Shang Qinghua only further showed just how much he didn’t know Shizun’s past and the life he had lived in this current world.
Shaking his head, Luo Binghe turned to walk back inside of the bamboo house to prepare supper, when he saw Shizun coming down the path. His shoulders immediately felt lighter—as if a great weight had been lifted. He truly had not expected anything, thinking that Shizun would prefer to spend time with others than him, but it seemed that at the end of the day, Shizun actually returned.
Shizun was willing to return me.
“Welcome back Shizun.”
Shen Qingqiu blinked up at him, before letting out a small smile that lit Binghe’s heart, “I’m home Binghe.”
Luo Binghe quickly ushered Shizun back into the bamboo house, guiding him to the table where tea was prepared. Checking that Shizun was comfortable, he turned towards the kitchen to prepare Shizun’s meal, but before he could move too far away, Shen Qingqiu hugged him from behind, hands tightening around his waist.
Luo Binghe’s heart nearly burst with the strength of the emotions churning within him. He didn’t even dare turn his head at his Shizun’s uncharacteristic show of blatant affection, afraid to ruin the moment.
“Let’s cook together.” Shen Qingqiu quietly murmured into his back, before he released Binghe to get to his feet. Turning his head to look at Binghe, he flushed slightly before reaching to intertwine their fingers, pulling him towards the kitchen.
Staring at their intertwined fingers, Luo Binghe’s pulse beat a rapid tattoo against his neck as he followed along in a daze. When Shizun tightened his grasp as if he was afraid of losing him, Luo Binghe tried desperately to suppress the stinging in his eyes. For millennia, he had been the one waiting and chasing after the other—desperately afraid of losing Shizun—of losing his light. Now, Shizun was the one afraid of losing him, and that hurt him far more than thinking that he had been shunned by Shizun. That Shizun ever felt that he would lose Binghe—he must not have shown his devotion enough—been reliable enough that the man would be afraid of such a thing.
Luo Binghe wordlessly squeezed his fingers back, sending a watery smile his way.
The two of them walked into the tiny kitchen. While the kitchen only comfortably fit one person, they somehow made it work. Luo Binghe kept an eye on Shen Qingqiu and while having his loved one cooking alongside him was something he had dreamed of, watching how Shizun moved around in the kitchen so familiarly—he could easily tell that in this life, Shizun had been forced to learn how to cook quickly and proficiently. To think that there would be a day where his shizun would be forced to learn that skill was a huge blow to him.
He was desperately curious about what exactly happened during this lifetime of his Shizun’s, but was still too terrified to ask—afraid of having his fears verified. He had never wanted to see Shen Qingqiu’s scholarly hands roughened by labor—for his previously bright and curious eyes to become tired and desperate. Unfortunately, Binghe had been unable to do anything to protect Shizun from those trials.
Pushing his morose thoughts down, he turned his attention to cooking. However, it proved much harder when he realized that Shizun’s pain was only getting worse. He could only watch helplessly as Shizun would clench his jaws or hands—obviously trying to bear the agony of his unhealed soul as best he could. Despite all of Luo Binghe’s efforts to gently direct Shizun out of the kitchen and rest, he remained stubborn, pushing himself to continue making a meal for Binghe. By the time the meal was ready, Luo Binghe’s heart felt as tattered as Shizun looked, as they sat down to eat.
Luo Binghe pushed down his self hatred at still being unable to help his Shizun when he smiled at him, indicating for him to take the first bite. Shaking his head with a forced smile, Luo Binghe reached out to choose the choicest piece of meat, holding it in front of Shizun’s mouth. “Shizun, could you indulge this disciple by eating this first?”
Shen Qingqiu’s smile faltered as his eyes tightened with obvious pain, his breathing becoming a little labored.
Please, let them have this. Please not yet. Please let them pretend it was alright for just a little longer.
Luo Binghe waited anxiously until Shizun’s face smoothed out, and his breathing stabilized. Giving him a weak smile, Shizun opened his mouth and ate the meat right off his chopsticks. Luo Binghe felt like bursting into tears. He had long wished for Shizun to have eaten from his hand, but not like this—the most important person in his world was in clear agony, but was still forcing himself to act fine to not worry him.
“Shizun, let this--” Shen Qingqiu shoved a piece of meat in his mouth before he could continue talking.
“Binghe, you should try it and tell me how it is.”
Luo Binghe slowly chewed, but his tongue was numb, unable to taste past the sadness and the distress clawing at his chest and throat. He’d waited for so long, only hoping that one day he would be able to see just the glimpse of Shizun’s shadow. Even if Luo Binghe were separated from Shizun—even if Shizun forgot him—even if Shizun hated Binghe—as long as Shizun was happy and well, that would be enough for Binghe. However, it was clear that Shizun was not well or happy, and Binghe hadn’t been able to do anything to prevent that from happening.
He swallowed hard, choking down his regrets and smiled as his heart broke into pieces, “It’s delicious Shizun.”
Let Me Have This.
Shen Yuan pulled out his guqin after they finished their meal. He wanted Luo Binghe to finally hear the song he’d written and perfected thinking of him while performing in the brot--. Shen Yuan’s hands tensed around his guqin, meeting Binghe’s concerned look with a small smile.
“Binghe, if you could humor this master. I would like for you to listen to this piece. I warn that it might not...”
Luo Binghe sat down across him with a small smile, “This disciple would be honored to hear whatever Shizun wishes to share.”
Shen Yuan nodded, breathing out slowly as he gracefully started to pluck out the opening notes, the sounds drifting poignantly through the air. However, his heart soon sank when his hands involuntarily clenched, plucking a wrong note when he felt his soul crack almost audibly. His breath stuttered, as he tried to push on—he had to—this was supposed to be perfect—he had practiced this with Binghe in mind for so long, and he still couldn’t even do this right.
Binghe shifted, obviously aware of his distress, “Shizun--”
Shen Yuan shook his head with a tense smile, “Let this master continue. This--This one--I can--” He wanted to continue with all his heart, he wanted to play it perfectly, but the tears that threatened to overflow from his eyes disrupted his vision—his hands resting on top of the strings a blurry haze. He felt so stupid .
A little bit more. Just give us a little more time.
“Shizun, please. It’s enough. Let this disciple help you.” Luo Binghe frantically rose, grabbing Shen Yuan’s shoulders as his hand cradled his neck to push his head down to his shoulder.
A heavy hand like a collar around his neck, curled like a threat as it forced his head down, a dark voice filtered through his rising horror, “Oh little tyrant, you feel so--”
“NO!”
Shen Yuan wildly pushed himself away, as he moaned out, “no, no, no, no, no--don’t--don’t touch me--don’t--”
He scrambled to a corner as he huddled there, curling in on himself as he tried not to shake apart from the pain and from the memories. He’d tried to pretend that everything was fine—that the dream was actually reality, but he couldn’t any longer. He didn’t deserve that comfort. He didn’t deserve anything. He tried not to think about what he’d done—what he’d let happen to him—but how could Binghe even stand to look at him?
I’m a disgrace. A failure. I’m so sorry Binghe.
What Can I Do To Help You?
Luo Binghe’s still crouched down from where he had tried to hold Shizun, staring helplessly at his trembling form.
What can I even do?
"Shizun," he tried, "I'm." His voice cracked. He had no idea how to be anything Shizun needed right now, because he was terrified , because Shizun was right there in front of him , but also somehow further than he had ever been.
"I'm sorry," Shizun gasped, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."
"You didn't do anything," he mumbled helplessly, heart sore.
How could you have done anything to apologize for?
"I did," Shen Qingqiu sobbed. "You don't understand what I've done."
Luo Binghe thought he understood entirely too well, and he didn’t know if it was possible to feel any worse.
"Shizun," Luo Binghe said desperately, "please… stop crying… You need to calm down-- Your soul will..."
Shen Yuan gasped into his hands and rocked back and forth as he wailed. "Let my soul just break apart," he cried, "how can you even look at me after what I let him do?"
"Shizun," Luo Binghe pleaded--for what he didn’t know. "Shizun please , it’s alright. It’s fine--It will be fine--just." He didn’t even know what he was saying, because nothing had ever been more not fine.
"Disperse my soul," Shen Yuan begged between sobs, and Luo Binghe’s heart clenched in his chest.
"No," Luo Binghe breathed, "I can’t. I won’t. You're safe now-–"
"Please," Shen Yuan sobbed. "I'm asking you, please."
"I won’t do it," Luo Binghe said, his heart beating frantically, as he panicked, "I can help you--"
"I CAN'T KEEP GOING," Shen Yuan wailed, and he was sobbing and choking. "I can't because I'm trash and I don’t deserve it--I let--you have to--just-–"
"I just got Shizun back," Binghe cried, and now he was yelling, but he was terrified and hurting, and oh God he’s probably scaring Shizun, but he was so, so scared Shizun was going to leave forever, "Shizun is finally here--how can you ask me that--"
Shen Yuan had completely collapsed, as he sobbed into the ground, lying on his side, "I know-- I know I'm selfish. I know, I--"
"No--Shizun--Please--" Luo Binghe silently prayed to Gods that he had long ago given up, but he didn’t know what to do . This went so far beyond anything he had known. He instinctively went to try and hold Shizun again—to comfort him, but as soon as his fingers brushed his skin, Shen Yuan flinched, and cried even harder.
He snatched his hand back as if burned, body trembling because.
I don’t know what to do.
"Shizun--just--please," he begged, because there was nothing else he could do—he couldn’t touch Shizun, he couldn’t ease his pain—he couldn't even go and find that miserable bastard and make him pay for what he had done to Shizun. He could only helplessly and incoherently beg. "Please, I'm sorry, I have to, your soul-- It’s-- Just a little, please, let me, I'm sorry."
"I don't care," Shen Yuan sobbed. "I'm trash-- How can you even look at me after I let him touch -- after what I’ve done to my childre-- I don't, I–" Shen Yuan choked, unable to continue speaking.
"Forgive me," Shen Yuan finally managed, tears clumping in his lashes.
Luo Binghe could not force out a single word through his grief, so he stayed silent as he watched Shizun tremble and breathe.
"I am-- I'm sorry," Shizun finally said, after he had gotten his tears under control. However, this horribly quiet tone was even more worrying—and Luo Binghe was unable to do anything but watch . Shizun shivered and Luo Binghe ached to hold him but he couldn’t. "I try, and I try, and I try, I thought I was fixing something, finally, I thought I could help. I thought--"
He looked absolutely gutted.
"Useless," he whispered. "I'm just useless trash."
"Shizun, you're not--"
"I was so cowardly and selfish," Shizun gasped, a great gulping breath as he swiped at his eyes. "It's what I always–-"
"Shizun," Luo Binghe whispered out, his heart throbbing as if it had been stabbed. He faintly thought that being stabbed was less painful. "There's nothing to forgive," he whispered again. "No matter what you think… It wasn't your fault, please believe me--"
Luo Binghe choked, and tried again, "I'm here because I love you," he forced out through his tears, "I do, I'll help you-- I'm going to-– I'm not him," he finally said miserably, unable to say anything else. "I'm not."
"I know-- I know." Shen Yuan hunched, like he was in unbearable pain and Luo Binghe knew that he probably was. "I'm trying," he gritted out, clutching at his robes. "I am-- really-- all I do is try , but it's never enough--"
"I'm here for you," Luo Binghe rushed out, Shizun’s figure a blurry haze through the burning tears in his eyes. He struggled to let Shizun know that he was there for him. That he would be safe. "I can help you. I can try to help you through what he did, if you--if you want me to. I can prove to you that you’re safe."
He slowly crept closer to Shizun, watching as his eyes brimmed with fresh tears. He held his breath, moving as if he were afraid of spooking a small animal. He couldn’t ask the question burning in his heart even though he desperately wanted to, because he had to let Shizun make the choice.
He held out a shaking hand instead.
Please.
Shizun slowly raised his head, and Luo Binghe’s heart shook, because Shizun had always been hopelessly brave, because Shizun was still trying, still, now, after everything, even shaking with sobs, limbs weak from the agony from his unhealed soul. He looked at Binghe, wide-eyed and almost broken, staring at him as if he might find salvation.
Please.
Luo Binghe slowly brought his hand back to his side when Shizun didn’t move forward. He told himself that it was more important that Shizun felt safe. Shizun didn’t feel safe yet, so of course he wouldn’t touch him. He curled his hand toward his side. It felt cold.
This doesn’t hurt. How dare I feel hurt when it’s Shizun that is suffering.
He rose and turned away. Shizun needed space and safety, and if being away provided that for--
"Binghe," a tiny whisper, but it echoed in Luo Binghe’s ear like the loudest cry.
It took barely an instant for Luo Binghe to turn back, his heart soaring to hear his name on Shizun’s lips.
Shizun looked at him.
He looked and was seeing Binghe , and his hand felt warm, because--
Shizun had grabbed ahold of his hand, his face terrified, but still heart-rendingly brave. Shizun had held onto his hand with all of the trust and hope he had left, with the last of his shattered strength, and Luo Binghe sobbed, shaking with desperate, grateful tears, and held that trembling and delicate hand back with his whole heart.
This Is Fine.
Shen Yuan didn’t know how long they stayed there, huddled in that corner as they both slowly calmed down. At some point, he had shifted from holding Binghe’s hand in a vice grip, to snuggling into his chest. He tensed when a familiar arc of pain ripped into his chest. Breathing through the pain, he nearly sighed as the pain abated, but narrowed his eyes when he realized that relief had come suspiciously quickly. He immediately sat up and pushed Luo Binghe away. He couldn't allow Luo Binghe to sacrifice himself for him—not when it was Shen Yuan’s own fault.
“No. You can’t give yourself up for someone like me. Binghe please...don’t sacrifice yourself.” Shen Yuan pushed himself further into the corner as he begged. After 800 years, it had been ingrained in Shen Yuan that begging was a fruitless endeavor. However, he was with Binghe now, and he knew and trusted that Luo Binghe would listen to him if he insisted.
“Shizun. I can’t stand to see you suffer like this. Please… You can’t ask me to just watch you in agony.” Luo Binghe pleaded, moving closer to him, but clearly hesitant to touch. Shen Yuan’s heart hurt when he saw the distress written across Binghe’s face. If he were able to, he’d laugh at himself. It seemed that his weakness to Binghe’s distress and tears was still something that had never changed.
Gazing at Binghe’s face, he was silent for a long moment before he finally said, “Binghe… Please make me a cup of tea.”
He knew that he would eventually give in to Luo Binghe. He had always been weak to Binghe, but at least he should correct a wrong that had been left unfixed for too long. He could redo the original tea ceremony that was supposed to welcome Luo Binghe to Qing Jing Peak. Shen Yuan would show Binghe that he was truly accepted as a Qing Jing disciple.
Please. At the very least, let me do this right.
With clear reluctance, Luo Binghe got up to prepare the tea. Shen Yuan pushed himself forward with trembling limbs and crawled to the table. Kneeling, he said, “I understand your welcome ceremony to Qing Jing Peak was not conducted as it should have been.”
Luo Binghe’s eyes widened, as he turned to look at him. Shen Yuan forced his trembling hand to grab the cup. “I hope I can right that wrong. Qing Jing Peak fully accepts you. You will always have a home with this master.”
But before Shen Yuan could even take a sip, his chest filled with searing pain, causing his already weakened and trembling hands to drop the cup. Porcelain shattered, as the tea spilled across the floor. Shen Yuan opened his mouth to try to apologize—to ask for another chance to try and fix this whole situation , but he couldn’t get a word out as his body betrayed him again, his lungs seizing and choking him. He could do nothing but fall to the floor and curl into himself, as he floated in a sea of pain.
I just wanted Binghe to know. Please... Let him understand.
This Is Fine.
Luo Binghe watched as the cup shattered and the tea spilled as Shizun collapsed in agony. It nearly felt worse than if Shizun had simply poured it over his head. He scolded himself for his selfish thoughts as he rushed to Shizun’s side, knowing that time was limited. Time had never been on their side after all.
They had tried so hard, only for everything to fall apart. However, there was no one to blame for any of that. And at the end of the day, Luo Binghe still considered himself lucky that he had met Shizun, despite everything that had happened. Shizun was the one who had showed kindness when he didn’t have to, who had sacrificed himself twice for his sake, and who held so much of his heart.
Luo Binghe gave a tremulous smile, as he reassured him, funneling spiritual energy through his hands, “Shizun, this disciple already knew. You never had to do this for me to feel like my home was with you.”
When he saw the relief in Shizun’s eyes—that Binghe had understood his heart, he let his tears spill over. If only they had more time. He had known what he would do ever since he had held his Shizun’s grievously injured soul in his hands. To never be able to be reincarnated again—to never see Shizun ever again was a hard and bitter pill to swallow, but he had never been able to allow Shizun to suffer.
Luo Binghe also had to admit that the world needed Shizun more than him. There were many things others could accuse him of, but stupidity was not one of them. He had surmised from the last visits from his underlings and peak lords that the world had changed more than it should have, and that the cycle and balance of the demon, mortal, and heavenly realms had been tilted askew. The god that had stood in front of his cave and asked after Shizun had seemed earnest, but he had held the slightest taint of one of the spiritual signatures that had bound Shizun’s soul.
Shizun was still needed to right the unnatural heavenly cycle. His knowledge and experience would be essential in fighting the enemy, and Luo Binghe, bound as he was to this cave, would be unable to help.
Unless he bound himself to Shizun.
He looked at Shizun’s lovely eyes, the pink of his cheeks still wet with tears, and quietly said, “Shizun, I love you.”
When the other man looked like he wanted to reply, Luo Binghe gently placed a finger on his lips, quieting the words. He didn’t need to hear the answer, because he knew what Shizun would say and he knew he would lose his resolve if he heard Shizun answer back. He wanted Shizun to save those words of love for someone else. Someone who could be there for Shizun when he was no longer able to physically do so.
Don’t say it back. Please. Save it for someone who can stand by your side and hold you through your tears.
He saw the pain in Shizun’s eyes, the tears threatening to swell up, and Luo Binghe knew that he had to let Shizun know that none of this was his fault—that this was Binghe’s choice—that finally they would always be inextricably linked together, even though Shizun would no longer be able to see him.
“Shizun, no. No. I know what you’re thinking, and it’s not true. You won’t be losing me. With this, I will always be a part of you. Our souls will never be apart.” He paused, brushing a thumb over the arch of Shizun’s cheek, “You will never be alone. We will face the upcoming storm together.”
Seeing that Shizun could no longer speak, only able to nod at his words, too overwhelmed with the pain of his soul breaking, Luo Binghe started to feed his own soul to Shizun’s. He took off the fake jade Guanyin that Shizun had returned to him, and tied it around his neck. As Shizun started to cry again, Luo Binghe gently wiped away his tears with his thumbs.
Now his two most precious treasures were together.
Our Time Has Come To An End.
Shen Yuan’s heart hurt even though his soul felt better as Binghe carried him to the bed, laying him down gently. He hated that he felt relief each time the pain lessened. With solemn eyes, he watched as Luo Binghe slipped off his overrobe, before kneeling down before him and laying his head beside him on the bed.
“Shizun… Can I just… Hold you?” Binghe asked, voice hushed.
“Please.” Shen Yuan entreated, already leaning towards Binghe’s warmth, as Binghe surged up to enfold him in his arms.
In Binghe’s arms, he let himself finally feel the safest he had been since that oh so sweet dream that Binghe had made for him. Shen Yuan had kept lying to himself, but now he couldn't—not when the dream was shattering around them, the familiar room in his bamboo house breaking apart to reveal the cave where they had last been together. He blinked hard, willing away the burning behind his eyes as the last of the illusion faded away.
“Shizun?” Binghe softly called.
“Hm?” Shen Yuan hummed against the warmth of Binghe’s chest, his lips brushing against Binghe’s skin as he nuzzled into the warmth.
Binghe shuddered, hand flexing lightly against his hip.
“Would it help if you… Told this disciple what happened?” he rasped after a long moment.
Shen Yuan went still in his arms, before twisting up to look at Binghe, but Binghe just smiled softly and held him closer, silently letting him know that he would be there to support him no matter what.
Around them time seemed to stand still, caught in a moment both fragile and eternal as Shen Yuan made his decision.
He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He knew in his heart what he needed to do. He knew that Binghe deserved the truth—the full truth. But he was so scared. However, despite his fear, he knew that he also loved Binghe and he trusted Binghe more than he trusted even himself. So just as he had first surrendered himself to the waters when he had ascended, he surrendered himself to Binghe, laying aside his masks.
“It would probably be best to start from the very beginning.” He paused, gathering the remnants of his courage, “My name... was Shen Yuan,” He whispered softly, “and then I died and became someone else.”
In that cave, millenia after they had first been there—after they had both died, Shen Yuan finally let himself tell Binghe the truth, baring his soul and divulging secrets that had gone unspoken for far too long.
Afterwards, once Shen Yuan finished talking, voice hoarse, eyes swollen and heart sore, Binghe just held him, one hand pressed low against his spine and the other coming up to ghost lightly along his face.
Letting out a shuddering breath, Shen Yuan quietly asked, “Binghe… Doesn’t hate me?
Binghe let out a sigh, before quietly saying, “How could I ever hate Shizun? Shizun is Shizun no matter if he is Shen Qingqiu, Shi Wudu, or Shen Yuan. I would know your soul and your heart no matter how much time passed—no matter the incarnation you are in. Shizun is the one who I love.”
Shen Yuan let out a quiet sob at Binghe’s words, “Me too-- Binghe is the one I--” He stopped short as Binghe again pressed a finger to his lips. Shen Yuan looked up with wide and hurt eyes.
Why doesn’t Binghe want me to say it?
As if hearing his thoughts, Luo Binghe gave him a sad smile, “I know what Shizun will say. I’ve wanted to hear those words for so long. But I-- I can’t be selfish here. I don’t know if I would be able to let you go if I heard it, so please don’t say them to me. Shizun should save those words for someone who can stay with him in a way that I won’t be able to.”
Shen Yuan’s heart throbbed, as he stared up at Luo Binghe, “Binghe could never be selfish. But if it’s Binghe’s wish, then I won’t say it.” He bit his lip as he cast his eyes down. Even though he knew Binghe’s reason, it didn’t make it hurt less that he couldn’t tell Binghe just how much he loved him. He paused. But.
But he could show Binghe.
And honestly, when Binghe held him like this—when he knew that it was Binghe with him? It felt almost cleansing. Like that man’s touch was slowly being washed away. Shen Yuan moved his hand in a deliberate motion, lifting it up to caress the side of Binghe’s face.
“Shizun?” The question came out slightly hesitant, as Binghe looked at him with wide eyes.
“Binghe might not want me to say it, but would he be averse if I showed him what I want to say?” Shen Yuan immediately blushed at his forwardness, almost in disbelief that he had spouted such a line. However, he met Binghe’s eyes despite his thin face, knowing that time was not on their side—knowing that this might be the only time and way to show Binghe. What was shame in this situation?
“I--Shizun-- Are you sure? Shizun has suffered--”
Shen Yuan cut in, “I’m sure. I-- Binghe. You make me feel safe. You make me feel loved.”
He took a deep breath. “And what’s most important is that I know you’re not him.” Shen Yuan almost mumbled, biting his lip as he looked at Binghe through his lashes.
Finally Binghe nodded, his eyes softening, “I’m not him,” Binghe affirmed as his thumb gently caressed the swell of Shen Yuan’s bottom lip. “But what I am is Shizun’s.” His eyes were soft as he whispered it like a promise.
Binghe leaned down, pressing a soft and tender kiss against his forehead.
“Shizun can have all of this disciple,” Binghe murmured against his skin, his lips brushing it, like tiny kisses. He breathed out with a slight smile in his voice, “If A-Yuan wants it.”
Shen Yuan’s breath shuddered out as a tear slowly slid down his cheek, at the sound of his original name in Binghe’s loving voice.
“Yes,” he whispered, closing his eyes as he desperately met Binghe’s mouth.
He needed this last bit of selfishness, he needed Binghe to replace memories and nightmares of other violating hands, and most of all he needed Binghe to know all of the love in his heart that Binghe wouldn’t let him say out loud.
He sighed into the kiss as Binghe shook against him, the hand on his chin sliding down to join the other on Shen Yuan’s waist as he pulled him closer.
I Only Ever Need This Moment.
Settled in their little nest within the cave, Luo Binghe leaned his head against the wall as he stared with rapt attention at his Shizun’s face, running his fingers through his hair.
They were both silent, basking in each other’s presence, knowing what was yet to come, but simply enjoying this calm before the inevitable storm.
After all, healing a soul was always a difficult task.
And to take in a soul as strong as Luo Binghe’s?
Binghe’s heart hurt at the agony he knew his Shizun would face.
No matter how Luo Binghe had tried to gently feed his soul to his Shizun thus far, he knew that the last step to fully take in the rest of his soul would hurt.
To fully heal almost always hurt as much as the initial wound.
He pressed another kiss to his Shizun’s hair, as he closed his eyes, gently enfolding this quiet moment around them, to live in perpetuity.
You Will Be Missed.
“Shizun,” Binghe’s voice was tender as he gazed down at him with eyes bright with suppressed tears. The hand he held against Shen Yuan’s cheek was just as gentle as it had been before.
“Binghe,” he whispered back, knowing what was coming.
“It’s nearly time,” Shen Yuan announced more than asked, tears hovering at the corners of his eyes.
“Yes.” Binghe nodded anyway, emotions thick in his voice.
“I have to go back.” Shen Yuan’s voice was almost a sob, breathless and aching.
“Yes.” Binghe’s voice was loving, but firm.
“I’m scared.” A whisper, like a confession.
Binghe let out a shuddering breath, “Shizun? Never doubt my love for you--Everyone’s love for you.” His lips pressed gently against Shen Yuan’s forehead, “It’s alright to be scared. I will always be there with you though you may not see me. You are and have been so brave , but now it’s time for you to live .”
“No. Don’t make me do this,” Shen Yuan begged him—a last ditch effort as tears welled up in his eyes, a sob wrapping its grasping hands around his voice. “Binghe, please, don’t make me do this.”
“It will be alright. I promise. I love you, Shizun. I won’t stop loving you for even a second . However, there’s no other way. This world needs you far more than it ever needed me.”
“No,” Shen Yuan nearly moaned, his heart twisted in pain as it curled tight in his chest. “Binghe. No. I can’t-- I can’t do this without you-- I can’t lose you . Not again, not like this.”
“Don’t you remember? You won’t be losing me,” Binghe comfortingly ran his hand through Shen Yuan’s hair, “I will always be there with you.” He grinned, “You always told me I was too sticky of a disciple… You’ll never be rid of me now.” He leaned down, fingers intertwining with Shen Yuan’s.
Shen Yuan let him try to make light of the situation, but agony still railed through him at what he was being forced to do.
This isn’t fair.
“Breathe with me,” Binghe whispered as he gently held Shen Yuan, his eyes as vast and deep as the night sky, softly looking at him as his lips quirked into a small smile, “Just breathe.”
Shen Yuan met his kiss with all of the love and longing and bitter regret currently eating him alive.
It was not enough.
It would never be enough.
“I love you,” Binghe breathed the words against his lips, “I promise, Shizun. I love you and it will be okay . Never blame yourself for what was done to you.”
Shen Yuan blinked his tears away, keeping his eyes fixed on Binghe’s smile.
Because this… this would be the last time he saw it.
And he wanted to engrain every second of it into his heart.
He wanted to remember everything about Binghe at this moment—in every moment they had shared.
Binghe pressed forward, kissed him soft and slow one last time, and then pulled back, smiling.
He was so beautiful it made Shen Yuan’s chest ache even more.
“All you have to do,” Binghe said, one hand cradling Shen Yuan’s face, the other gently stroking his back, “is let me in.”
Binghe exhaled, wrapping his arms around him. Shen Yuan sobbed softly and desperately held him close, sinking into the embrace. He clenched his eyes shut as he felt the rush of spiritual energy enter him, nearly overwhelming him with its power. Shen Yuan felt his body go blistering hot with the sheer immensity of Luo Binghe’s soul coursing through him like a tempestuous and boiling ocean, but rather than drowning he was being lifted up, up, even higher.
He felt Luo Binghe’s care, his regrets, his love rush through him, and Shen Yuan accepted it all.
When he finally blinked his eyes open, there was only empty air to meet him.
“Binghe,” Shen Yuan whispered, tasting the tears in the back of his throat, voice shaking. “Binghe, please. Don’t be gone. I... I love you.”
But there was no answer.
Shen Yuan’s entire world crumbled around him yet again.
His scream, raw and filled with agony, filled the cave. Shen Yuan felt as if his entire body was going to shake apart from grief. His tears fell in torrents as he remembered the last smile he saw from Binghe—that soft and loving smile that was all he’d ever wanted out of life.
Shen Yuan sat there in the emptiness of the cave, forcing himself to just...
Breathe.
Because.
Binghe was right. He wasn’t alone anymore. Now, Binghe’s soul was inextricably tied with his own and the subtle warmth in his chest where he could feel where their souls had intertwined filled him with unspeakable comfort. His sorrow slowly mingled with fury as he thought about just why Binghe had to sacrifice himself, and why he still had to fight and live. With grief and rage nearly devouring his heart, he harshly clutched the false jade Guanyin to his chest, huddled in the robes Binghe had wrapped him in, as determination filled his eyes.
He had a Calamity to contain.
Notes:
Emperor AU (continued.)
Since there was absolutely no way Shi Wudu could get out of this untouched, he decided to prepare himself for the dreadful night to come.
“Okay, so what exactly does PM want?”
The Eunuch gave Shi Wudu a smile as he said, “vanilla.”
Shi Wudu played dumb and replied flippantly. “He wants food?”
The Eunuch patiently clarified, “No. He wants vanilla sex with some body worshipping on the side.”
“Absolutely. Of course he would because PM is a pervert. How about HX?” Shi Wudu’s lips were pressed into a thin line.
“He wants rough and kinky sex with bondage.” The thick skinned Eunuch helpfully reminded Shi Wudu that he could not faint or fake an illness.
“I don’t think I even want to hear about JW. But just in case, let me hear it.”
“Hardcore BDSM.”
“Oh fuck.”
Just as Shi Wudu was preparing to greet his chosen one, his bedroom window suddenly opened. A mysterious figure in black snuck in and hugged him from behind. “Shizun, lets run away.”
Luo Binghe then princess carried Shi Wudu out of the palace and they ran away together to live happily ever after.
no_temporis: song recommendation : song
Smut for this chapter: Bingqiu
Chapter 18: One Step At A Time.
Notes:
Warning: background rape. (Basically some mentions of what SY experienced during the 800 years and HX's misunderstanding.)
Chapter Text
The cave walls suddenly shook as dust fell on Shen Yuan’s trembling form. He tensed and tightened Binghe’s robe around himself as he looked towards the cave entrance. It seemed that someone was trying to break through the barrier around the cave. Without Luo Binghe, the barrier would likely fall sooner rather than later. He sighed in resignation. It seemed that while he was still steeling himself to face the world, the world was literally knocking at his door to drag him back. He stared listlessly down at himself and then at the wall. He really should clean himself up, but he couldn’t muster up any desire to do so. All of the marks—everything that Binghe had left him was proof that Binghe had existed—that Binghe had loved Shen Yuan.
The walls shuddered again. It seemed like the barrier was breaking quicker than he’d expected. Shen Yuan shivered a bit, staring apprehensively at the cave entrance again. He had no idea whether the person trying to break the barrier was Xie Lian or Jun Wu, but rather than head towards the entrance to find out, Shen Yuan instead pushed himself unsteadily to his feet, his sore and aching body crying in protest. Having a body again wasn’t easy, his limbs still not quite listening to his brain. Grasping at the wall to support his trembling legs, he forced himself deeper into the cave. There was an insistent tugging at his soul—something was screaming at him to head further in.
His legs felt like jelly, unwilling to follow his commands, but it was like a magnetic force was compelling him forward, so he kept walking.
He had to.
Something was calling to him. No—for Binghe.
Shen Yuan's heart continued to pound against his ribs each time someone attacked the barrier. He just needed to move a little further in.
Just a little further.
Shen Yuan clutched the fake jade Guanyin around his neck as he continued to drag himself forward, knowing that whatever he had to find was related to Binghe. His loving and beautiful Binghe. He’d never see Binghe’s smile again—hear his laugh—hear him call him Shizun or A-Yuan--
He inhaled sharply, furiously blinking back tears. He’d thought he had come to terms with losing Binghe when he transmigrated into Shi Wudu, but the ache of that loss—of never seeing him again had never felt more obvious or real until now.
Shen Yuan dug his fingertips into the rough stone of the cave wall. Maybe it would have been better if in this lifetime, he had never seen Luo Binghe. If he’d never encountered him, then Binghe would have been able to continue living, and possibly reincarnated in the future. He would have had another life—another chance to make up for all of the tragedy he had been forced to endure. However, because he’d met Shen Yuan, even that had been ripped away from him.
It was all my fault.
Tears blurred his vision as Shen Yuan continued walking, only stopping when his path was blocked by a pile of rocks, stretching to the ceiling. The call had grown even stronger—nearly screaming at him. Whatever was compelling him forward had to be hidden behind those rocks.
He stared wearily at the large pile of rocks. While his soul was now healed, his spiritual energy was unfortunately pathetically low, so he would have to clear the rocks by hand. Shen Yuan sighed, as he stumbled closer to the rocks, slowly bending to start moving the rocks away.
With each rock that he moved, Shen Yuan silently prayed, “Please don’t collapse on me.” Unfortunately, as he moved to pick up a particularly heavy rock, the effectiveness of his prayer seemed to completely fail, as the rocks groaned, and started to fall towards him.
Cursing internally, Shen Yuan hurriedly tried to back away. However, his already weakened legs failed, sending him tumbling to the ground. He instinctively moved to cover his head, as he braced himself for the inevitable pain, trying to console himself that while the rocks would fall on him, the pain would still be bearable—after all—he’d experienced much worse.
He closed his eyes, waiting for the rocks to hit him, but the crushing impact never came. Instead, he felt a gust of wind, gently whirling around him. When he opened his bewildered eyes, he saw that the rocks had all been blown away from his body.
“Shi Wudu!” Shen Yuan’s eyes snapped towards the call, eyes widening as he saw the man flying towards him.
He nodded as gracefully as he could while still sprawled ungainly on the ground. “Many thanks.” Wincing internally, Shen Yuan pulled the tattered black robe closer around himself. While he hadn’t felt any shame at first that he was essentially naked save for Luo Binghe’s robe, he couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed now that he was so underdressed in front of another person. He pushed the embarrassment down, thinking to himself that since they were both guys, his lack of decency shouldn’t cause too much of a problem.
He Xuan stared at him silently, causing Shen Yuan to fidget a little, before his face twisted as he burst out, “What are yo-- Why are you? What happened?” He Xuan’s face turned red, and then black before he began to strip out of his outer robe with harsh motions, pushing it into Shen Yuan’s arms as he then tried to rip Luo Binghe’s robe off.
Shen Yuan immediately clutched at Luo Binghe’s robe as he tried to push He Xuan’s hands away from him. “Wait-- stop--” His breathing became ragged, as he remembered grasping hands that ripped and tore , “Pleas-- no-- NO!”
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No. Not again, I don’t want it. I didn’t want it!
The robe was easily ripped from his shoulders, the flimsy crimson fabric not standing a chance against the strength of the highest ranked martial god.
“You love this, don’t you, little tyrant?” A harsh bite, and then a command, "Tell me how much you love it."
“No.” Just a whisper. Begging for what, Shen Yuan didn’t know, as he plastered himself against the cave wall.
“Oh?” an amused chuckle, as the man smiled like he wasn’t a monster, “So disobedient. I should punish you for that.”
Shen Yuan shuddered, trying to claw himself out of the memory as his eyes stared blankly into the air.
“You can show me how much you love it instead.”
I don’t want it. I don’t want it.I don’t want it. I DON’T WANT IT!
I Will Give You The Respect You Deserve.
They had just barely broken through the barrier, but He Xuan immediately sped into the cave, boosting his speed with his spiritual power, as he subtly sent his winds to trip up and distract Pei Ming. He ignored Pei Ming’s curses as he flew down the cavern, sending his spiritual power out to sense where Shi Wudu might be. He couldn’t believe that they had nearly lost him, but now that his soul was so close—almost within their reach, he would do everything in his power to ensure that whoever that had disgraced his Wudu’s corpse never got their hands on his soul.
He turned a corner, and came to a screeching halt as his eyes widened at the sight in front of him. Shi Wudu—the actual Shi Wudu was kneeling on the ground, attempting to move away rocks that were blocking the tunnel.
How?
But the spiritual signature was undeniable. Somehow, someone or something had healed Shi Wudu’s soul to the point that he managed to regain a physical form. Pushing aside the barrage of questions that were buzzing around his head, he was about to call out to Shi Wudu. Before he could, Shi Wudu moved aside another rock, upsetting the precariously balanced rocks. He Xuan’s heart jumped as the rocks began to collapse on Shi Wudu, who had fallen to the ground. Quickly thrusting his hand out, he summoned a gust of wind to blow the rocks away from the man on the ground, running towards Shi Wudu’s prone body, calling his name desperately.
He Xuan could barely believe that his Wudu was finally in front of him—his words were frozen on his tongue as his eyes drank in the sight of his Wudu’s lovely face. When his gaze drifted down to check for injuries, his eyes began to narrow when he noticed the vivid red marks marring the surface of Shi Wudu’s pale neck. He quickly scanned the rest of Shi Wudu, his fury mounting higher as he took in the sheer amount of bite marks and bruises covering the visible portions of Shi Wudu’s skin as well as the clearly oversized and tattered robe wrapped tightly around his Wudu’s body.
Who dared to do this? I’ll fucking kill him.
He couldn’t contain his fury at the thought that someone had defiled and hurt Shi Wudu again, and he had been unable to stop it . He had been too late once again. He burst out, “What are yo-- Why are you? What happened?” He breathed in deeply, words failing him as he glared at the disgraceful robe wrapped tightly around his Wudu’s body.
It had to go.
While the robe did cover the other man’s body, it couldn’t cover all of the marking scattered all around his body, and even more importantly—it was clearly not Shi Wudu’s robe. Meaning that his Wudu not only had to suffer the indignity of the assault, but also was forced to suffer even further shame by wearing his abuser’s robe. Once he found the man that had harmed his Wudu, He Xuan would eliminate every trace of that bastard from existence.
He would utterly destroy him.
He Xuan’s blood was thundering in his ears, pulse thrumming with rage. But first. He was going to take that robe and burn it. Shi Wudu should never have been forced to wear a robe that belonged to a bastard that dared to humiliate him. He shouldn’t be forced to continue wearing that robe for one second longer.
With that in mind, he brusquely stripped off his robe, quickly pushing it into Shi Wudu’s arms before moving to rip off that despicable robe.
“Wait-- stop-- Pleas-- no-- NO! ” He Xuan paused at Shi Wudu’s desperate cries, hands halting as Shi Wudu hurriedly backed away, his eyes filled with fear as he curled into himself, clutching desperately at the robe around him. He Xuan’s heart hurt as he looked helplessly into Shi Wudu’s terror-filled and glassy eyes. His Wudu should never have cause to look fearful of him. He would never hurt him. He wasn’t going to further humiliate him. He simply wanted to help him.
He struggled to gentle his voice, trying to eliminate just a little of the fear in Shi Wudu’s eyes. “You don’t need to further humiliate yourself and force yourself to wear that robe. You can wear mine instead.” He Xuan bent down and picked up his outer robe that had fallen during their struggle, moving slowly towards Shi Wudu to place it around his shoulders, but the other man shook his head, seemingly deaf to his words as he lashed out at He Xuan’s hands, crying out as he pressed himself further into the cave wall.
He Xuan bit his lip as he dodged Shi Wudu’s hands, before finally grabbing them and pulling the man into his embrace. He held him close despite Shi Wudu’s continued struggles, not knowing what to do or say to help soothe the distraught man. At his wits’ ends, he instinctively began to pour his spiritual energy into Shi Wudu in an attempt to calm him, just as he had done when he had unknowingly been holding Shi Wudu’s soul. To his relief, it seemed as if Shi Wudu recognized his spiritual energy, easily accepting it. Ever so slowly, Shi Wudu movements became more and more sluggish before finally ceasing as his breathing calmed, though Shi Wudu still shuddered occasionally.
Every tremble caused He Xuan’s anger to increase even more. He poured more spiritual energy into Shi Wudu, silently vowing to himself that one day, he was going to find the beast that had dared to lay his hands on Shi Wudu and completely rip him apart. He would make sure to do it slowly and painfully, making sure that wretch felt everything as he cut him into pieces. Maybe he would string him up on a fire pit and let him burn like a piece of meat, and feed him to the pigs.
He Xuan was brought out of his murderous thoughts when he felt a delicate hand pressing against his chest, grabbing his attention. He looked down, and jumped a little when he noticed Shi Wudu staring seriously up at him, sorrow and exhaustion so clearly visible it took He Xuan’s breath away. Seeing that he had gotten He Xuan’s attention, Shi Wudu quietly said, “There is something I must find. Could you help me?”
This Time Let Me Bear Your Burden.
With He Xuan gently supporting his body, Shen Yuan slowly moved forward ever closer to whatever was tugging at his soul. He fought off the persistent exhaustion tugging at his limbs. After He Xuan had poured his spiritual energy into Shen Yuan, the familiar and comforting feeling left him relaxed and tired. He felt as if he could sleep for days, but he forced himself to continue onwards. Whatever lay ahead was likely related to Luo Binghe, and he needed to see it through.
They carefully made their way through the entrance that had been revealed after knocking down the rock pile. As soon as they entered the new cavern, Shen Yuan’s attention was immediately caught by the dark sword stabbed into the stone floor.
Shen Yuan’s eyes hardened. Xin Mo. He hated that sword with every fiber in his being. It was the cause of both of his deaths, and of Luo Binghe’s suffering. If it wasn’t for this sword, Luo Binghe and him might still have been happy together. However, despite his hatred, he was also begrudgingly thankful for it as well. Because of Xin Mo, Luo Binghe had been able to escape from the hell that Shen Yuan had pushed him into. With Xin Mo, Luo Binghe was able to defend himself against his enemies, the sword keeping him safe when Shen Yuan could not.
Gently extricating himself from He Xuan’s hold, Shen Yuan headed towards the sword. Breathing out deeply, Shen Yuan reached out towards Xin Mo. His fingertips brushed the jewel glinting on the pommel, before traveling down to lightly touch the carvings etched into the grip. His eyebrows raised in surprise. Xin Mo no longer emitted the demonic aura he remembered from so long ago. Instead, if he had to describe it, its aura was akin to a puppy, bouncing around and trying to mingle with his spiritual energy as if it was trying to get his attention. His eyes softened despite his hatred for the sword—its behavior was too similar to his former puppyish disciple.
Steeling himself, he firmly gripped Xin Mo’s handle, slowly pulling it from the ground. To his surprise, it came out smoothly—almost eagerly. Once it was out of the ground, he held it closer to his body. Even though he hated Xin Mo, it was also one of the remaining things Luo Binghe left behind for him. It too was precious.
Unfortunately, now that he had finally found what had been calling to him, all of the strength he had used to force his exhausted body onwards seemed to flee. His vision swam as he staggered slightly. Stumbling towards He Xuan, the other man rushed forward to meet him. Shen Yuan leaned—almost falling into He Xuan as his limbs refused to carry him any further.
WIthout a word, He Xuan immediately funneled his spiritual energy into Shen Yuan, allowing it to gently flow into his body. Shen Yuan sighed as he closed his eyes at the familiar and calming feeling. All of the tension in his body slowly slipped away, as He Xuan’s spiritual energy slowly soothed away the aches in his body, and not soon after, Shen Yuan slowly fell asleep in He Xuan’s arms.
His grip on Binghe’s robes and Xin Mo remained firm.
Free Yet Still Trapped.
Shen Yuan was in a dimly lit and very familiar room. The scent of precious incense burned, sending a wave of dizziness through him. Candlelight flickered, causing strange shadows to form through the gauzy red drapes of the decadent bed he was lying on. Everything within the room dripped with luxury, from the bed, to the lounging furniture, and even the eating utensils on top of the table were all made of precious materials—everything was of the highest quality. However, Shen Yuan wanted nothing more than to leave this horrible room. After all, a golden cage was still a cage. There were no windows in this room, having all been sealed shut after--.
He shuddered and clenched his fist against his thin robe as he tried to grasp onto the comfort of the dream he’d just woken from. His mind was hazy, refusing to work properly as he gasped for breath. He had to leave this place. He thought he’d finally been rescued, but all of that had been a lie. He was still trapped .
Shen Yuan forced himself up on trembling limbs as he flung aside the drapes, stumbling gracelessly off of the bed. He dragged himself towards the door, resistance tugging at his legs as if he were moving through water. He had to escape before he came back. Shen Yuan blinked back tears as he remembered the countless times he had tried and failed to escape that man’s clutches. He’d lost track of just how many times he had failed—some would call him delusional for trying to leave despite all of his failures or the “lessons” that Jun Wu had put him through to teach him the consequences of even trying.
But maybe it was because of that stupid dream he had where he’d manage to escape—where he had been free and met Binghe again that prompted him to give in to hope once more. He stood in front of the door to his room, staring at the seal. He shuddered as he remembered Jun Wu’s explanation of the seal, the fingers combing through his hair as he’d whispered that he always wanted to give Shen Yuan a choice. Apparently Shen Yuan always chose wrong.
Electricity around a cage would prevent an animal from getting close to it after being electrified, but when they got as desperate as Shen Yuan, they would simply force themselves to tolerate the pain for the chance of escape. Gritting his teeth, he braced himself for the familiar agony as heaved his body out of the room, forcing his ungainly legs into a run. He gasped harshly, side aching as he ran down the hallway. He had no idea how long he had been running—all he knew was that he had to keep running—keep moving forward. The hallway loomed endlessly in front of him as he staggered—his left leg had given up, sending him tumbling to the cold marble floor. With a breathless sob, he struggled to get up despite his once again crippled leg hampering his movements. He clawed his way to stand back up, leaning heavily against the wall as he dragged his lamed leg behind.
He struggled onwards.
Shen Yuan’s heart froze when he heard Jun Wu’s laughter ring out around him. He bit his lip, limping forward—just a little further. Footsteps echoed behind him, each step closer to him causing his heartbeat to ratchet up, his breathing to get a little more ragged. Shen Yuan desperately dragged himself further away—he just had to keep moving. It was agony to continue moving forward, but he had to. One centimeter further was still one centimeter away from him .
“Little Tyrant, do you really think I fixed your leg just so you could run from me?” The blood drained from Shen Yuan’s face as Jun Wu materialized right in front of him with a gentle and cruel smile. Shen Yuan stumbled backward, but Jun Wu easily stepped forward, catching his arm as he dragged him into a parody of a gentle embrace, softly caressing his cheek, before whispering, “Let’s return you to your room. It seems that I’ve neglected you, if you tried to get my attention like this.”
No--I didn’t mean to-- I don’t want to return. I don’t want to. Please no.
Shen Yuan writhed in Jun Wu’s hold, as he frantically tried to push his hands off—to get away . “Binghe! Binghe please help! ” He sobbed out, “Liu Qingge help--”
His words were muffled by Jun Wu’s mouth, silencing his terrified and desperate cries. Shen Yuan pushed furiously against Jun Wu’s chest, ripping his mouth away as he finally managed to struggle just enough to fall out of his grasp.
He trembled as he remembered. There was no Luo Binghe or Liu Qingge in this world. However, there were still others that he could rely on.
Shen Yuan pushed himself up, trying to crawl away as he screamed, “PEI MING! PLEASE HELP ME! PEI MING! PEI-XIONG! PLEASE!”
But it was no use, his world darkened as Jun Wu loomed over him. He was back in that room again—no— no . Helpless tears gathered at the corner of his eyes as he was pressed down into the silk sheets, greedy hands slipping into his robe. Shen Yuan clenched his eyes shut as he mumbled, “Pei-xiong help me please, please, please --”
Ever so faintly he heard a distant and panicked voice shouting, “Shui-xiong.”
Pei...xiong…?
His heart lightened in relief as he blissfully dissolved into darkness.
Am I Really Free?
Shen Yuan’s ascent into consciousness was far from calm, his body rebelling at the feel of strong hands grabbing his shoulders. Barely aware of his surroundings, Shen Yuan slammed his fist into the person holding him down. He heard a faint crack as his hand exploded in pain.
Gasping for air, he collapsed onto his side, cradling his injured hand to his chest. His breathing gradually evened out, when he realized that he was no longer being held down—in fact, he had no idea where he was. The bed that he was currently burrowed into, if it could even be called that since it was only made out of coarse rags and hay, was nothing like the silk bed he remembered being forced on. For that alone, he was grateful, despite the unfamiliarity of his surroundings.
“Shui-xiong?”
Shen Yuan’s heart leaped at the sound of that voice. He cautiously raised his head, blinking slowly at the sight of Pei Ming staring at him from the other side of the bed. The other man was looking at him with an extremely wronged expression as he cradled his swollen cheek.
My knuckles hurt. Dang. It seems Pei-xiong’s face is just as hard as it is thick… wait… Pei...xiong…?
Relief flooded his body. Pei Ming was here . Pei Ming was here with him . He shoved himself up despite his weakened arms, just so happy to see Pei Ming, and then--
What if this is all a trap? What if I’m still there and this is just a dream?
Shen Yuan immediately froze, afraid to move a single centimeter, when he felt a weight hanging from his neck. He looked down, his eyes widening when he saw Binghe’s fake jade Guanyin.
That was real. This is real. I’m no longer in that room. I’m… I’m free.
He gripped the Guanyin like a lifeline, closing his eyes as he waited for his racing heart to calm.
“Shui-xiong?” Pei Ming hesitantly called out, breaking Shen Yuan out of his muddled thoughts.
Pei Ming carefully moved closer to him, moving slowly as if he were afraid of spooking a small wild animal. Pei-xiong began to reach out, but then paused, before dropping his hand back to his side. He kept looking between Shen Yuan’s chest and face, seemingly unwilling to take his eyes off him, but also afraid to get caught staring. Seeing the usually bold and confident man so unsure made Shen Yuan’s heart soften. He breathed in deeply, and reached out with both of his arms, in a silent request for a hug.
When Shen Yuan saw Pei Ming still wasn’t moving, his face a mask of indecision, he let out a fond sigh. “Pei-xiong. I’d really like a hug right now. My arms are getting tired.”
Pei Ming snapped his head up, staring searchingly into Shen Yuan’s eyes, before finally moving. With trembling fingertips, he slowly reached out and just barely brushed Shen Yuan’s hand. He let out a shuddering breath, something seemingly breaking within him, as he rushed forward to sweep Shen Yuan into a close embrace. Even though he’d been prepared for it, Shen Yuan’s body still stiffened at the first contact. He shivered, pushing the spectre of Jun Wu out of his mind as he took several deep breaths, finally relaxing at Pei Ming’s familiar scent.
Shen Yuan closed his eyes, relieved tears hovering at the edges of his lashes as he allowed himself to melt into the embrace. He felt more than heard Pei Ming start to cry, as he gently rubbed Pei Ming’s back, trying to calm him down as his shoulder became soaked with tears. The room was silent except for Pei Ming’s choked sobs. They stayed in that embrace, quietly wrapped around each other until Pei Ming calmed enough to speak.
“Shui-xiong, you aren’t allowed to just--” Pei Ming rasped, his voice hoarse from crying as he forced himself to take several deep breaths before continuing, “disappear on me.“
Shen Yuan’s heart clenched when he remembered just what his last words were to Pei Ming. He hesitated, before whispering, “I’m sorry Pei-xiong.” Honestly, those words couldn’t even begin to convey everything he wished to say, but he didn’t know what else to say. Pei Ming seemed similarly lost for words, simply inhaling deeply before tightening his hold.
With a slight shiver, Shen Yuan clutched Pei Ming just as tightly back. Honestly, everything around him still seemed so surreal. While the spectre of Jun Wu still loomed over him, and the pain of losing Binghe was still a fresh wound, simply having Pei Ming there was of incomparable comfort. After all, just like with Liu Qingge, he knew he could always entrust himself to Pei Ming. Right now however, he needed to let his friend have this moment to let out his emotions, so he stayed right there, softly shushing Pei Ming with nonsensical murmurs as he rubbed his back.
Eventually, Pei Ming’s breathing evened, and he slowly loosened his hold on Shen Yuan as he pushed himself back to truly look at him. Shen Yuan felt his face heat a little, knowing that he likely looked like a mess, considering he had just woken from a nightmare and he was still dressed in an extremely ragged robe. With a barely audible sigh, Pei Ming pulled out his handkerchief to wipe Shen Yuan’s face, cleaning away tears that he hadn’t even realized he’d shed. Pei Ming’s touch was achingly gentle, barely there as if he was afraid that if he used too much force, he would shatter Shen Yuan into a million pieces. Shen Yuan sighed, who knew that one of the most powerful martial gods could have such gentle hands?
As Pei Ming lifted the handkerchief away, Shen Yuan got a good look at the handkerchief, and couldn’t help but let out a fond chuckle because of course it was lined with gold. It was one of the most Pei Ming-like behaviors he had ever seen (just who would use such an expensive material on something that would get so dirty?), and it was that little detail that fully convinced him that he had finally escaped from that hellish prison.
“Pei-xiong, just who puts gold on their handkerchief? How have you managed to become even more tasteless in the time I haven’t seen you?” Shen Yuan managed to squeeze out through his (manly) giggles, half laughing at the situation, and half laughing at the realization that he was free .
“Shui-xiong! Don’t laugh!” Pei Ming pouted at him, “Besides, isn’t a handkerchief like this befitting of a god of my sta-- Hey! Why are you laughing even more??” The more ridiculous that Pei Ming acted to stop Shen Yuan from laughing, the harder he laughed. It seemed his laughter alerted the people who had been waiting behind the door, because it was soon slammed open with a large bang, immediately grabbing both Pei Ming and Shen Yuan’s attention.
He Xuan stood in the doorway, seemingly the one who had slammed the door open, eyes narrowed as he looked into the room. He silently and quickly made his way inside, followed by Shi Qingxuan, Xie Lian, and Hua Cheng. Shen Yuan nearly felt overwhelmed by the number of people that had filed into the room, unconsciously inching closer to Pei Ming as he dreaded the cacophony and confrontation that would inevitably occur.
However, once everyone had entered, only silence filled the room. It was as if time had frozen, not a single person seemed willing to make a move or sound—as if afraid to be the one to break the slowly ratcheting tension. The strange detente only broke when Pei Ming reached around Shen Yuan’s shoulders to steady him and pull him a little closer, his hands still gentle and loose. Shen Yuan stiffened at the sudden contact, before loosening at the familiar comfort. Despite knowing that Pei Ming wouldn’t hurt him, he couldn’t help feeling startled when touched so suddenly.
“Ge! How are you feeling?” Shi Qingxuan cried out as he hurried towards them, having shaken off his stupor.
“Pei Ming! You!” He Xuan’s eyes darkened as he hurried towards the two and pulled Pei Ming’s hands off Shen Yuan. Nervously inching away, Shen Yuan pulled Binghe’s robe tighter around himself as he gave a faint smile towards Shi Qingxuan.
Shen Yuan’s heart leaped at the sight of his younger brother. It had been so long, and he had wanted to reunite with Shi Qingxuan—had wanted to make sure that his brother was doing alright and was unharmed for centuries . However, just as he started to reach out to Shi Qingxuan’s approaching figure, their hands just barely brushing, a horribly familiar voice with a mechanical accent like Google Translate rang through Shen Yuan’s head.
[....Activating….Activating….Soul binding…Debugging...Contacting customer service…]
No... No! I thought it was gone!
With increasing horror, Shen Yuan quickly realized that out of everyone in the room, the only one he had not been in contact with was Shi Qingxuan, which meant…
Shi Qingxuan is the power source for the System?
Steeling his heart, and silencing his own whirling thoughts, he immediately forced his body into action, pushing himself away from Shi Qingxuan and avoiding his brother’s hug. His heart ached when he saw his brother’s crestfallen face. However, from what he remembered from his previous System, he had to touch the System’s power source to reconnect. Shen Yuan could not touch Shi Qingxuan nor allow him to come into contact with him.
He refused to become a slave to the System’s cruel orders again.
Are You Disappointed?
Shi Qingxuan had been waiting outside the room impatiently for his brother to wake up. His heart had stopped when he saw his brother’s unconscious form in He Xuan’s arms. He’d nearly thrown a fit when Xie Lian stated that it would be better for only one person to watch over his brother until he woke. He’d nearly thrown another fit when, because he, He Xuan, and Pei Ming were unable to agree on who would stay with his ge, Xie Lian finally suggested that they all draw straws and Pei Ming ended up winning.
While he knew that it would be bad to crowd his brother while he was recovering, it still didn’t make him feel any better that he could only wait. When he finally made his way into the room, he had frozen, barely able to believe that his brother was actually in front of him. It felt surreal, and he had no idea what to do with himself. However, when he saw Pei Ming hold his brother so familiarly, it spurred him into action.
“Ge! How are you feeling?” Shi Qingxuan had so many things he wanted to do. He wanted to ask his brother all of the questions that had plagued him ever since he’d ascended as the new Water Master. He wanted to apologize for not being strong enough for his brother. He wanted to tell him everything that had happened since his brother had been gone. He wanted to go back to their childhood relationship and completely erase the distance between them. But most of all, he simply wanted to hug his brother. He wanted to feel his brother’s comfort once again.
He didn't know what painful tribulations his ge had gone through, nor did he know the full story of just why his brother had fallen from grace. However, that all could wait. Right now, he simply wanted to embrace his ge and never let him go. If it were possible, he wished they could just return to the beautiful memories of the past, when it had just been him and his brother. Where there had been no gods, no Venerable of Empty Words, and most certainly no secrets between the two of them. Just the two of them in that small house.
However, it was no use wishing for the impossible. Right now, he could only focus on his brother, who looked terrifyingly fragile and vulnerable sitting on top of the bed.
With shaking hands Shi Qingxuan reached towards his brother, but before his hands could even graze his sleeve, his ge moved back and off of the bed. Away from him. With a sinking heart, Shi Qingxuan tried once more just to be similarly rebuffed.
His brother didn’t want to be touched by him.
“Ge? Are… Are you alright?” Shi Qingxuan’s voice trembled as he forced his tears down. He couldn’t take this personally. Xie Lian had mentioned that his brother might be easily startled or try to avoid their touch due to whatever he had experienced in the 800 years they had been apart. However, the longer his brother remained silent, dread started to pool in the pit of Shi Qingxuan’s stomach. He had to be able to help his brother. They had already grown apart before his brother had disappeared, and now, with these additional centuries apart, he feared that it would only continue to grow. Time and distance was a cruel thing, forcing families to become strangers.
“I... I’m fine Qingxuan.” His brother wouldn’t look at him, averting his eyes. Shi Qingxuan’s heart sank. His ge was once again hiding something from him, and this time, even though Shi Qingxuan was now fully aware of what he was doing, he was too scared to know the truth.
One Day Everything Will Be Fine.
Clearing his throat to cut through the tension that had settled on the room once again, Xie Lian awkwardly said, “Shi Wudu, there is a bath ready for you if you’d like it.” Shen Yuan nodded, uttering his thanks as he noted He Xuan staring at his robe intently, causing him to clutch the tattered robe even tighter around himself.
“We brought you a new set of robes.” Xie Lian quickly added when he noticed Shen Yuan’s uneasiness under He Xuan’s intense gaze.
“That’s right! Ge, I found the most beautiful robe for you to wear so you don’t have to wear that ragged robe anymore.” Shi Qingxuan chirped up before frowning when he noticed that Shen Yuan seemed to curl into himself even more. “Ge?”
“You don’t want to get rid of that robe do you?” He Xuan quietly asked, shooting Shen Yuan a concerned look when he tightened his hold on it, even more, confirming his words.
“I don’t.” Shen Yuan admitted, looking down at the torn robes with a loving gaze. Even though these robes were by far in even worse condition than what he had been forced to wear when he had struggled with Xie Lian in the mortal realm, to him, no other robe could ever compare to its beauty. It didn’t fit him, and it was torn and threadbare, but right now, he couldn’t bear to part with it for even a second.
He was brought out of his reminisces when he heard Xie Lian quietly ask, “It belongs to the man in the cave, doesn’t it?”
Shen Yuan smiled slightly as he nodded, confirming Xie Lian’s guess. “Yes. And because of that, this robe is very important to me.” Shen Yuan sadly smiled as he recalled the memories of when Luo Binghe was still his cute little white lotus, trailing after him before coughing into his fist. “Enough about me, what of that bath you mentioned?”
Xie Lian looked at him with concern but dropped the subject. Shi Qingxuan looked as if he wanted to ask more questions, but similarly dropped the subject. He Xuan and Pei Ming looked rather sour but otherwise also dropped the topic, leaving the room oddly silent after Shen Yuan’s question. With a helpless look, Shen Yuan turned to Pei Ming, who immediately burst into action, quickly leaving the room, and returning with a huge basin of water that he quickly etched with an array, warming the water with his spiritual energy.
“Thank you Pei-xiong.” Shen Yuan was about to remove his robe when he noticed that everyone was still in the room staring at him. Awkwardly coughing, he quietly muttered, “Please leave.” At his request, Shi Qingxuan looked hesitant before reaching out and grabbing both He Xuan and Pei Ming. He sent Shen Yuan a cheery, “Enjoy your bath ge!” Before dragging the two gods out of the room, Hua Cheng also following at an easy pace.
Shen Yuan stared quizzically at Xie Lian who hadn’t moved. Xie Lian quickly walked to the door to shut it before moving closer to him with an earnest and sad expression. “Shi Wudu… I… I’m so sorry that I’ve never said it before, but… now that I have the chance, I…” Xie Lian swallowed hard, “Thank you for helping me. Before. Not just with Xianle, but for everything. I--”
Xie Lian’s face crumpled a little, and Shen Yuan felt dread pool in his stomach at his next words. “I also wanted to apologize for making you lose your divinity. I--”
Shen Yuan interrupted immediately, “Dianxia, can you set up an array to prevent people from hearing in our conversation? I would, but not only am I lacking spiritual energy at the moment, my condition still isn’t the best.”
Xie Lian was the protagonist, he was bound to find out Shen Yuan’s secrets eventually. It would be better if Shen Yuan told him himself instead of letting Xie Lian find out himself. That way, he could at least prevent him from divulging any information Shen Yuan still wanted to keep secret.
Despite Xie Lian’s confusion, he still did what he was told, which was what mattered the most.
“Xie Lian. What I am about to tell you is to only stay between us.” Shen Yuan bitterly thought of how Hua Cheng was likely listening in despite the array Xie Lian put up, however, at least the people he wished to hide this information from the most would still be left unaware.
“I… Losing my divinity was my own choice. You aren’t to be blamed, so please… There is no need to feel any guilt for my fall.” When Shen Yuan noticed that Xie Lian still didn’t look convinced, he continued, “When I was fighting for Xianle, I was already slowly losing my spiritual energy. In order to save Shi Qingxuan’s life, I decided to trade my divinity. It wasn’t for you, so please don’t overthink it.”
Xie Lian looked at Shen Yuan, uncertainty written across his face as he bit his lip. He clearly wanted to know more, but was hesitant to push. Shen Yuan sighed internally, before explaining.
“I chose to switch my fate with my brother’s fate using a fate switching spell.” Shen Yuan straightened as he looked Xie Lian in the eye, grabbing his hands in his, “Xie Lian. Please know that I’m trusting you with this information, but this isn’t for you to tell. Please do not mention it to my brother. Despite my actions, he still rightfully obtained his position.” Shen Yuan squeezed Xie Lian’s hands gently when he looked a bit hesitant, but eventually Xie Lian nodded. Shen Yuan sighed in relief at Xie Lian’s agreement. If this information were to get out, nothing good would come of it—it would only make Shi Qingxuan upset. Sometimes, secrets should simply remain secrets.
He drew his hands away as he nodded at Xie Lian, “On a happier note, congratulations on ascending once again. What will you do now that you have finished this mission?” Shen Yuan smiled at Xie Lian, hoping to dissipate the somber atmosphere and smooth out the concern still lingering in Xie Lian’s eyes. He knew that eventually he would have to tell Xie Lian about Jun Wu, but there was a part of him that was still scared of mentioning doing so. What if Xie Lian chose to believe Jun Wu over him? Shen Yuan had no proof of his misdeeds just yet, and Jun Wu was the Heavenly Emperor. If he simply tried to cast doubt on Jun Wu now, people would likely believe he was crazy. No. He needed to wait until after he had time to gather enough evidence.
Xie Lian smiled back at Shen Yuan, though his eyes were still sad, “I am currently trying to build my own temple and increase my worshippers. Even though I am a god, I don’t have any temples at all.” Xie Lian chuckled ruefully at his own misfortune, before eyeing Shen Yuan carefully, “But… Shi Wudu... What do you want to do?”
“I have something I need to look for.” When he had been in the dream realm, during his interactions with Shang Qinghua and the other Peak Lords, it seemed as though Luo Binghe was trying to send him to look for them. He needed to find out about what happened to the other members of Cang Qiong Peak. If he had managed to find Luo Binghe, then there was a possibility that the other Peak Lords might have survived as well. Not to mention he also needed to find evidence of Jun Wu’s wrongdoings and stop him before he could manipulate the situation any further.
Unwilling to talk any further about his plans, Shen Yuan gave an apologetic smile to Xie Lian, as he sheepishly said, “Xie Lian, if possible, could we talk later? I really would like to cleanse myself.” Xie Lian immediately apologized, “Of course! I’ll--We’ll just be outside. Take your time.” Once Xie Lian left, Shen Yuan undressed and sank into the warm water with a blissful sigh. Pei Ming really knew exactly which temperature he liked his bath to be. It was perfect. He slowly traced his fingers along all of the marks Binghe had gifted him as he looked down at the Guanyin laying atop his chest.
This is real. I’m free.
He could feel the aching joints and tension throughout his body slowly relax as he sank deeper into the bath. He needed to carefully plan out his next moves. Most of all, he needed to figure out how to keep Jun Wu from catching wind of his plans before he was ready. But first, he needed to clean himself and just. Breathe.
One breath at a time. I just need to keep moving forward. After all Binghe, we have a lot of work ahead of us don’t we?
Chapter 19: A Celebration For Two
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Lazy curls of steam rose from the surface of the bath, as Shen Yuan carefully cleansed himself. He sighed once he finished, staring blankly at his hands, before finally rising from the bath, mechanically drying and dressing himself as he listened in on the arguments slowly increasing in volume behind the door. It seemed as if everyone was impatiently waiting for him to be done so they could welcome him back.
He stopped in front of the door, his hand hovered falteringly over the handle, unwilling to move to push it open. Shen Yuan closed his eyes as he gripped his fake jade Guanyin necklace with his other hand. He knew—oh he knew he needed to leave the room and face the inevitable confrontation. However, he was so, so, scared. He wanted nothing more than to hide in this room forever, but he had promises to fulfill.
Breathe.
He just needed to breathe and keep moving forward.
“It’s alright to be scared. I will always be there with you though you may not see me. You are and have been so brave, but now it’s time for you to live.”
He exhaled. Binghe was right.
It was time for him to be brave and to live. He opened his eyes, finally unclenching his hand from the fake jade Guanyin to let its weight rest comfortingly on his chest. He inhaled deeply, and slowly let it out as he tentatively grasped the handle and pushed the door open. His brow ticked as he immediately felt his blood pressure rise at the sight in front of him.
Both Pei Ming and He Xuan were squared off, weapons drawn and pointed at each other, the expressions on both of their faces was dark as their spiritual energy flared wildly. Shi Qingxuan seemed to be cheering He Xuan on, while Xie Lian was frantically waving his arms at the two to try to stop the fight while being held back by an amused and protective Hua Cheng. He sighed, wearily heading towards the two to defuse the situation, when a flash of light signaling the use of a transportation array halted him in his tracks.
“Really? I was only gone for a moment, and I came back to this?” A voice as cold and sharp as an arctic wind cut through the commotion as Ling Wen slowly looked at the chaotic scene.
Shen Yuan’s heart lightened with relief, finally seeing Ling Wen’s familiar calm and composed face. He had missed her dearly, and her presence now would be immeasurably helpful in preventing further incidents as well as ease a great deal of the emotional fallout that would inevitably occur from his reappearance and his suddenly corporeal state. He headed towards her, hand outstretched.
“Ling Wen. I-- I’ve missed you...”
Shen Yuan finished lamely, trailing off as his heart fell at the suspicion that filled Ling Wen’s face after her initial shock.
Shen Yuan jumped a little when Pei Ming, aggression towards He Xuan momentarily forgotten slung a heavy arm around Ling Wen’s shoulders. “Ling Wen! Didn’t I tell you many times your suspicion and doubt were unfounded? Look! The mission was actually real. Shui-xiong is finally back with us.” Pei Ming beamed at Ling Wen, but Ling Wen ignored Pei Ming’s bright and excited tone, her eyes still narrowed with distrust at Shen Yuan.
“Who are you?” Ling Wen grabbed Pei Ming, trying to prevent him from inching towards Shen Yuan. “Although you can fool this idiot here, that doesn’t mean that you can fool me.”
“LING WEN!” Pei Ming protested, trying to wriggle out of her implacable hold.
“He is Shi Wudu. I would recognize him anywhere.” He Xuan casually walked to block Shen Yuan from Ling Wen’s suspicious glare, careful to not touch him thoughtlessly, but still near to provide support.
Shen Yuan’s eyes softened as he saw just how much trust people placed in him. Honestly, even though it did hurt, he couldn’t blame Ling Wen for being suspicious. After all, she had always been the most recalcitrant and wary of the Three Tumors. In order to fully gain her trust, Shen Yuan would have to do something more than simply appear in front of her.
“Ling Wen.”
Shen Yuan’s quiet voice cut through the heavy atmosphere, immediately drawing everyone’s attention. He fidgeted, feeling the immense pressure of everyone’s gaze. Suddenly uneasy, his prepared remark flew out of his head, instead mumbling the first thing that came to mind whenever he was faced with Ling Wen’s displeased expression. “Every fourth day is spa day and every seventh day is tea time.”
Before he chose to help Xie Lian and his relationship with Ling Wen soured, he often would accidentally miss the Three Tumor’s gatherings and scheduled activities because he was too busy gathering merits. Because of his constant truancy, Pei Ming and Ling Wen would often chase him down to get him to attend. Ling Wen would scold him for forgetting and force him to recite when the activities took place to make sure he wouldn’t miss it. So whenever she looked at him with disapproval and he didn’t know the cause, it became a habit for him to recite that phrase to stem her ire.
After he started to help Xie Lian on top of continuing gathering merits, he had no time to rest, much less go to the gatherings. His relationship with Ling Wen and Pei Ming continued to sour to the point that the two stopped chasing after him, and he started to actively avoid them. With their constant disapproval of his actions, and with him lashing out at them whenever they met, he figured he had likely been uninvited, so he had stopped going to the gatherings altogether.
While everyone looked at him in confusion, only Ling Wen and Pei Ming’s eyes showed understanding. Ling Wen’s eyes widened before she rubbed her temples with a small smile and sigh. Pei Ming started to snicker as he lightly smacked Ling Wen’s back, pushing her forward toward Shen Yuan.
“Yes, the fourth day is spa day and every seventh day is tea time. I am surprised that you remember when you are constantly late, or don’t even bother to attend.” Ling Wen paused, tilting her head at Shen Yuan, “Before I forget, there is one thing I think I need to do.”
*SMACK*
Shen Yuan held his cheek more out of surprise than any actual pain from Ling Wen’s slap. However, he hardly had time to process it before he was embraced tightly by Ling Wen, her body trembling ever so slightly.
She muttered furiously, “That was for not showing up last time. It’s fine if you’re late…” Ling Wen swallowed, before almost plaintively begging, “Just make sure you actually come and see me . Even if it’s not spa day or tea time.”
Shen Yuan slowly moved his arms up and embraced Ling Wen back when he felt her hide her face in his shoulder. Though she didn’t cry, her usual iron-clad composure had definitely crumbled. They stood like that, allowing themselves the time to simply be , before Ling Wen finally took a long and shuddering breath, and pulled herself back, stepping away from the embrace.
She looked at Shen Yuan with clear and fond eyes, before sighing. “While I am glad that you are back, this does bring up a small conundrum of just what to do with you. After all, it is not everyday that a former God reappears as a ghost.”
Shen Yuan shifted uneasily, knowing that while he was happy to reunite with his precious people of this lifetime, he needed to first complete his other missions before fully returning to them. Honestly, he was unsure just how the others would take him saying that.
“What are you planning on doing?” Shen Yuan startled at He Xuan’s question, the light tug at his sleeve, demanding his attention in the present.
“Ge, let’s go back to Heaven together alright? We can live together just like before!” Shi Qingxuan jumped in immediately, Qing Shui fluttering behind him.
Shen Yuan smiled sadly at his younger brother, before firmly shaking his head. He definitely could not go back to Heaven—not when Jun Wu was there.
“No. I won’t be returning. I-- I can’t return.”
“Eh!? Why not?” Shi Qingxuan gaped, before softening his voice. “I mean…” He swallowed, and smiled tentatively, “If you don’t want to go back to our Palace it’s fine!” He paused, mouth trembling, “It’s just that it might be a lot safer to return to Heaven since your body is still…” His voice died off as he visibly struggled to figure out what to say.
He Xuan smoothly cut in through Shi Qingxuan’s uncharacteristic silence, “You don’t need to worry about what other people think. If you would rather not go back to the Water Palace, or are worried about what might happen to Shi Qingxuan, the Wind Palace will always welcome you.” He Xuan’s eyes firmed, “And if anyone treats you poorly, just tell me and I will deal with them.”
Shen Yuan sighed. While it was true that he would likely not be treated well by the other denizens of Heaven because he was now a ghost, not to mention the previously hated Water Tyrant, that hatred and poor treatment had never really bothered him. Rather than being disappointed that he could no longer freely return to Heaven, he instead felt relief that he had a legitimate reason not to go back. Besides, he had a great deal to do, and he had to first return to Cang Qiong Mountain to seek information.
“As a ghost, I don’t think it is right for me to return.” Before He Xuan mentioned anything about helping him sneak in, Shen Yuan shut him down with a casual wave. “Besides, I have something I need to look for.”
“May I ask what you are looking for?” Shen Yuan looked at Xie Lian’s curious and concerned expression, fondness swelling at the care his friends were showing him.
“The funny thing is-- I don’t actually know what I am looking for. I just know that I need to find it.” Shen Yuan tried to laugh it off when the entire group looked at him with disbelief.
“If you don’t want to go to Heaven, just say so. You don’t need to make things up.” Ling Wen sighed, before continuing with a slightly distressed tone. “We are not going to stop you, we just… We want to help you.”
She pursed her lips, before continuing sourly, “However, I know that look on your face, and it’s your ‘I need to do this on my own expression.’” She sighed, “Just… Shi Wudu. Keep us updated? If you disappear again, and leave me alone with these idiots, I will make you do all of my paperwork until the end of time.”
Shen Yuan nodded, hearing the silent plea in Ling Wen’s threat.
Please don’t leave us again.
“Ge! Is it because--” Shi Qingxuan cut himself off as he bit his lip, staring down at his feet.
Shen Yuan waited patiently for Shi Qingxuan to continue, but Shi Qingxuan simply continued staring at his toes, a heavy silence filling the air. Shen Yuan looked at his brother in concern, the silence and hesitance that Shi Qingxuan was showing was completely uncharacteristic to how he’d known him. He took a step towards him, instinctively wanting to comfort him, but stopped himself short, remembering just in time that he couldn’t touch Shi Qingxuan—he couldn’t allow the System to control him again. Dragging his eyes away from Shi Qingxuan, hoping that his brother would eventually just say what was on his mind, he turned to answer Ling Wen.
“I truly am not making anything up. While I don’t know what exactly it is that I am looking for, I just know that it is something that my former shidis and shimeis left behind for me.” Shen Yuan smiled fondly as he recalled the former Cang Qiong Peak Lords.
Pei Ming facepalmed when he heard Shen Yuan’s words, sighing, “Do you at least know where you are going? How are you even planning to find whatever it is that you need to look for? Will you even know it when you see it?”
“It should be somewhere up near these mountains.” Now that he realized just where he was, and that the Cang Qiong Mountains existed in this world — that they were so close, he knew it was time to return home. However, because he had no idea how much time had passed, Shen Yuan couldn’t be certain if the peaks even existed anymore. He pushed down his anxiety, as he thought about the fact that he had never heard the sect name since he had transmigrated into Shi Wudu. One step at a time. He just needed to keep breathing.
“When are you going to start your search?” He Xuan inched closer to Shen Yuan, eyes intently analyzing him.
Shen Yuan turned his head to the side to avoid He Xuan’s gaze, looking at Xie Lian instead. “As soon as possible.”
“Ge! You can’t leave so soon!” Shi Qingxuan quickly cut in with a beseeching smile, seemingly overcoming his previous muteness. “We haven’t been together in so long… At least let us celebrate your return!”
To Desire for Separation And Attachment.
Seemingly energized at his new task, Shi Qingxuan threw himself into planning out and preparing the celebration for his brother’s return. Ling Wen shook her head at the way Shi Qingxuan was obviously holding himself back from interacting with his brother as he wanted, and at Shi Wudu’s careful avoidance of his brother’s touches. She had no desire to poke that messy family relationship with a 50 foot pole. Speaking of... She glanced over, eyes lingering and softening ever so slightly at the sight of her old friend.
No matter how many times she had told herself not to hold out hope—to expect the worst, she knew that she had always held out that desperate wish that Shi Wudu would come back to her—to them as if nothing had changed. She looked to his side and immediately rolled her eyes at the look on Pei Ming’s face as he stared at Shi Wudu. As for things that never changed… She cleared her throat.
“Old Pei. Why don’t you and Shi Wudu help Shi Qingxuan and go purchase the wine for the celebration?”
Before Shi Wudu’s… disappearance, Ling Wen had been constantly tormented by the way Pei Ming continually pined after Shi Wudu, and forced to listen to Pei Ming’s (overly descriptive and flowery) soliloquies espousing his desires for Shi Wudu. Honestly, it was like a switch had flipped in the “God of Love” who had countless affairs because he “couldn’t bear to leave so many lovely flowers unsampled,” to a sappy man who had eyes for no other. The usually confident man who never worried about making his desires known was a complete coward when it came to Shi Wudu, always too afraid of making a move or confessing because he was worried he would lose a single scrap of Shi Wudu’s affections.
Unfortunately, while he was too afraid to say anything explicitly to Shi Wudu, it did not stop Pei Ming from always gushing to her about how cute Shi Wudu looked when he slept, or how graceful he looked when he fought, or how smart he was when he was scolding Pei Ming. Ling Wen could almost swear that Pei Ming got rid of any useful knowledge he had to make space for all Shi Wudu-related moments.
She could only listen and watch frustratedly when Pei Ming chased after Shi Wudu and blindly dedicated himself to whatever Shi Wudu said. However, that blind devotion seemed to only travel one way. While Pei Ming was absolutely besotted with Shi Wudu, Shi Wudu always seemed to be looking ahead at something or someone else, completely oblivious to all of Pei Ming’s pining, or her gentle hints. She huffed out a frustrated breath. It wasn’t even that Shi Wudu didn’t care about Pei Ming. He clearly cared for the other man, and was usually very intelligent. However, once romance was in question, Shi Wudu was as dumb as a box of rocks.
Ling Wen suppressed another eye roll at Pei Ming’s excited expression, before narrowing her eyes when He Xuan immediately offered to accompany Shi Wudu as well. She was about to step in and tactfully prevent the unwanted tagalong, but before she could, Hua Cheng stepped in, requesting He Xuan’s assistance in explaining the arrays he had found caging Shi Wudu’s soul. He Xuan narrowed his eyes at Hua Cheng, clearly unwilling to stay, but did not otherwise put up any signs of protest.
Ling Wen’s mouth turned down, eyes narrowing even further. Definitely suspicious. Just what connection did Hua Cheng have that he seemed able to influence the Wind Master’s actions as well as Xie Lian’s? Everything she had seen so far was starting to add up to a conclusion she did not like at all. However, before she could fully determine just what was going on, she would have to observe their interactions further.
Ling Wen kept watching carefully as He Xuan walked towards Shi Wudu, body tense as she saw Pei Ming’s face turning stormy at the other god’s approach.
“Please take this. When I saw it, I immediately thought of you, and was waiting for your return to give it to you.” He Xuan earnestly held out a light blue pouch, covered in beautiful embroidery and clearly made of luxurious silk. His eyes never left Shi Wudu as he continued to hold the pouch out, smiling slightly when Shi Wudu hesitantly reached out and took it with a whisper of thanks.
Ling Wen frowned. Perhaps she had brushed off Pei Ming’s complaints about He Xuan too quickly. She would definitely keep a closer eye on the Wind Master.
“Shui-xiong. We should hurry and pick up the wine now.” Pei Ming irritably coughed, tilting his head meaningfully at Shi Wudu.
Ling Wen sighed as she watched Pei Ming’s obvious jealousy as he guided Shi Wudu away from He Xuan. While she wished for both of her friends’ happiness, she was unsure whether a romance between them would actually work. Though if she were truly honest with herself, she was mostly worried most about what would happen if a romance actually did bloom between the two. If Shi Wudu and Pei Ming paired off, would that be the end of the Three Tumors? As someone who barely had any other friends, potentially losing her friends was one of her biggest concerns.
She had already seen previously the potential for the Three Tumors to fracture back when Shi Wudu and her seemed to almost constantly get into heated arguments over Xie Lian. Even though Pei Ming would agree with her that Shi Wudu should stop involving himself in the situation, he would still chase after Shi Wudu to try to help him, leaving Ling Wen cursing at the two’s stupidity. Someone would inevitably get left behind in a group of friends, if the other people get into a relationship. If Pei Ming and Shi Wudu officially became a pair, what would she do? Where would she stand?
Shi Wudu and Pei Ming were her closest friends. She didn’t want to lose either of them. She was also scared of being left alone with only her paperwork as company. Now that Shi Wudu was back, and the Three Tumors were finally whole, she wondered if Pei Ming would actually get the courage to confess—if he and Shi Wudu would form a romantic relationship.
In the end, Ling Wen would still help Pei Ming, despite her worries and misgivings, because she wanted to see her friends happy, and she wanted to make sure that Shi Wudu was cared for. Sighing to herself, she watched them leave, eyes softening when Pei Ming turned to her while Shi Wudu was distracted, and gave her a thumbs up and a bright smile before turning back to Shi Wudu and grabbing his attention.
“Ling Wen! I knew you were the best! After Shui-xiong’s and my date, let’s drink and I can tell you all about it!”
Ling Wen startled a little, not expecting Pei Ming’s overly-excited voice in her head. That’s right. No matter what, the Three Tumors would always be the Three Tumors. She smiled softly, before replying shortly, “Make sure you bring me Golden Ice Wine then,” she continued to watch them walk side by side until they disappeared in the distance.
Pei Ming, I gave you this chance. Make good use of it.
She sighed fondly.
Idiots.
Behind Closed Doors.
With Shi Wudu and Pei Ming gone, she closed the door and sealed the room on the off-chance that Shi Qingxuan might pop back in. She knew that Shi Wudu would like to keep Shi Qingxuan out of the loop, and after Pei Ming had given her a rather emotional recount regarding Shi Wudu’s situation, she also didn’t want to potentially upset Shi Qingxuan on what she was about to speak about.
Turning away from the door, she turned to give the remaining occupants a gimlet stare, jumping right into her interrogation. “What do you all know about the situation surrounding Shi Wudu’s body? Pei Ming informed me that it is currently being controlled by someone else that seemed to be affiliated with Bai Wuxiang. Do you believe the same individual was also involved in the issue around Shi Wudu’s soul?”
“The one behind it has to be Bai Wuxiang.” Hua Cheng casually answered as he leaned closer to Xie Lian. “No one else uses that ugly mask or would act in such a disgusting manner. I believe that we should also investigate more into just how Bai Wuxian survived and why he is only appearing now.”
Ling Wen frowned, “But Jun Wu was the one who defeated Bai Wuxiang. It seems unlikely that he could have survived.” Ling Wen crossed her arms, brow furrowing in thought before slowly stating, “That means there are two possibilities. Either someone is trying to pretend to be Bai Wuxiang, or Jun Wu failed to kill Bai Wuxiang. Either situation is concerning. The first, because we have no knowledge on that individual’s motives. The second, because that means that Bai Wuxiang was strong enough to survive and fool the Heavenly Emperor.”
Xie Lian immediately burst out, his fists clenched in anger. “Whether the mastermind is Bai Wuxiang or not, Shi Wudu’s body must be reclaimed. Besides, we still have the Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu on our side, so even if Bai Wuxiang has survived, we can handle him.”
Ling Wen turned to He Xuan, “I heard that you were the one who initially found Shi Wudu’s soul. Did you see anything that might provide us more clues as to who might be behind this?”
He Xuan nodded slowly, frowning as he recollected, “When I found him, the condition of Wudu’s soul was terrible. It was completely shattered and barely pieced back together, even after absorbing thirty other souls. Whoever placed the array was definitely skilled and powerful. I couldn’t even break one of the arrays surrounding his soul. If the person was indeed Bai Wuxiang, then it makes sense.”
“San Lang, do you know just how Shi Wudu’s soul got to Ghost City?” Xie Lian turned towards Hua Cheng, face open and trusting.
Ling Wen narrowed her eyes at how the two seemed so close already. The entire situation was suspicious, and the interactions between those two were even more so. Although Bai Wuxiang was strong, so was Hua Cheng. Bai Wuxiang was killed or temporarily suppressed by Jun Wu, and never reappeared in the last 800 years.
It would have been impossible for Bai Wuxiang to have stayed undetected for all of those years—especially by her. After all, even before Xianle had fallen, and just when Shi Wudu had started to help Xie Lian, Jun Wu had already started to give her more and more responsibility as well as more work.
Then, after Shi Wudu had died, Jun Wu entered seclusion, completely turning over his work to her. At the time, she had simply been grateful, because all of the work and responsibilities that Jun Wu had piled onto her had kept her busy and away from troubling thoughts. Additionally, because of her increased responsibilities, her status and influence also rose, meaning that there was honestly nothing that Ling Wen wouldn’t see. However, she had never once found anything related to Bai Wuxiang.
On the other hand, if Hua Cheng was the one who was currently pretending to be Bai Wuxiang, all of the strange inconsistencies in the events so far would also make sense. After all, Hua Cheng, just like Bai Wuxiang, was a powerful Calamity. The timing was also highly suspicious, with Hua Cheng coming into power after Shi Wudu’s death. Even more suspicious was that Shi Wudu’s soul had been found in his territory. If someone were to pretend to be Bai Wuxiang, he was honestly the most likely suspect.
Unfortunately, no matter much she thought about it, Ling Wen just couldn’t figure out what exactly Hua Cheng’s intentions or goals were, if he was indeed pretending to be Bai Wuxiang. At first, when they were initially searching for intel on Shi Wudu, she had thought Hua Cheng had possibly eaten Shi Wudu’s soul in order to gain power and became a Calamity, due to the timing of his rise. However, this was clearly not the case, considering Shi Wudu had regained a corporeal form when his soul had been healed.
“Unfortunately, only Shi Wudu and the person who hid him there would know. I don’t have a clue.” Hua Cheng’s neutral tone brought Ling Wen out of her ruminations. She stared hard at him, but his placid expression gave nothing away.
He continued, “However, when I first noticed that Shi Wudu’s soul was dropped, there was a sudden increase in spider demons entering my territory and roaming around. I hadn’t put much attention on them at first, but now that I think about it, it almost seemed as if they were searching for something.”
“So the person who placed Shi Wudu’s soul in your territory and the person who captured him and still has his body might be different.” Xie Lian frowned in deep thought.
“That could be possible. The array used to restrict Wudu was stronger than the array used to hide him. It would make sense that the person who put Wudu there was hiding him from someone by using the concealment spell.” He Xuan suddenly frowned and turned towards Xie Lian, “Who was the one who set up the spell in the cave and took away Wudu’s soul?”
Xie Lian furrowed his brows thinking carefully, before he finally broke the silence. “I have no idea who took Shi Wudu away, but I do know that he was a tall man with curly black hair. He had a strange red marking on his forehead and also had red eyes.”
He tilted his head in thought, “I am actually unsure if he was indeed human. Whoever he was, he had immense spiritual power. The barrier that he put up was extremely strong—so strong that none of us were capable of breaking it until it fell by itself.”
Xie Lian paused a bit before hesitantly saying, “I also think... I think that due to how familiar he seemed with Shi Wudu’s soul, and the way he talked about him, that person must have had a... special relationship with Shi Wudu.”
“SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP? DID YOU EVEN SEE THE STATE SHI WUDU WAS IN WHEN HE LEFT? HE COULD BARELY EVEN WALK!” Ling Wen raised an eyebrow at He Xuan’s outburst. She had never seen the normally calm and neutral Wind Master react in such a manner.
Xie Lian looked uneasy and appeared to be unsure of how to respond, opening and then finally closing his mouth.
“THAT BASTARD DIDN’T EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO HELP CLEAN HIM AFTER DEFILING HIM, AND LEFT HIM ALONE IN THAT CAVE! YOU’RE CALLING THAT A SPECIAL RELATIONSHIP??”
Ling Wen catalogued the new information away, her mind whirling even more. Pei Ming had never told her about the cave or about a strange man showing up to take away Shi Wudu’s damaged soul, only for Shi Wudu to reappear completely healed. Additionally, she had not noticed that Shi Wudu was apparently injured from what the man had done to him, but based on Xie Lian’s hesitation and He Xuan’s rage and some of what he had said, it wasn’t anything good.
With her heart in her throat, she sharply asked, “What exactly happened to Shi Wudu? What do you mean he was so injured he could barely walk?”
“What He Xuan is… saying is that prior to us finding Shi Wudu again, the stranger and Shi Wudu were likely in an intimate relationship. That is the most likely explanation due to the love bites present on Shi Wudu’s body and the way we found him with a robe that clearly wasn’t his, but that Shi Wudu still seems to greatly treasure.” Hua Cheng answered dryly.
Ling Wen’s frown deepened, though she did feel a little relief. At least Shi Wudu’s injuries were not caused by some sort of fight or abuse. However, with that worry alleviated, another worry had appeared.
She had never heard Shi Wudu mention that he had a lover, much less that he was in an intimate relationship with anyone. She had thought that he was too busy collecting merits and helping Xie Lian to get into any romantic relationship much less have a secret one. She looked towards Xie Lian and He Xuan for confirmation.
Xie Lian shrugged helplessly. “From what I saw, the person seems to really care for Shi Wudu and vice versa. Regardless of their relationship or who the person is, it is highly likely that he was the one who fully healed Shi Wudu and for that, we must be grateful.” Xie Lian’s voice was even, though his face was bright red.
He Xuan looked like he was about to start shouting again at Xie Lian’s statement, but in the end only fumed in silence.
Ling Wen also stayed silent, still struggling to put together all of the new information that had been dumped onto her. If it was true that Shi Wudu had indeed been in a romantic relationship, she couldn’t understand why he had never told her about it. She pushed down the pang of hurt at the thought that this was yet another aspect of Shi Wudu he had hidden from them—from her.
Additionally, If he’d simply told them that he had someone else in his heart, that would allow Pei Ming to know that his feelings weren't returned, and help him move on instead of giving him false hope that one day Shi Wudu’s eyes would turn to him. After all, Pei Ming was not the type to force someone to love them. Luckily, Pei Ming had not confessed, so once he learned about this new information, he at least would not make a move, thus not impacting their relationship. Ling Wen sighed. There were at least small mercies, though she had no doubt that she’d have to take the brunt of listening to Pei Ming’s heartaches.
“Should we involve Jun Wu? He might have more information about the man that we saw, considering he is the most senior god.” Xie Lian looked to Ling Wen for guidance, as she focused again on the other god.
“We will have to ask Shi Wudu himself if he wants to, because it is a private matter involving him. Additionally, I am sure that the person who has Shi Wudu’s corpse is not done with him. We must watch carefully for his next move. It seems based on what you told me that the meeting between Shi Wudu and the stranger was orchestrated by him, so keep your eyes open for any information.” Ling Wen quickly answered, mind busy with the preparations they would need to do to be ready for the next threat.
The person who went through such lengths to capture Shi Wudu... Even though she wished it wasn’t true, she knew that the person would not be so willing to just let Shi Wudu go. They would have to prepare for a fight in the future, and the fact that the person was possibly Bai Wuxiang meant that their battles ahead would be extremely difficult.
Ling Wen sighed and rubbed her forehead as she silently cursed Shi Wudu for bringing trouble to her direction. Shi Wudu and Pei Ming better return quickly with more alcohol. She needed the extra strength to move forward.
The Courage Within You.
Glad to simply be away from the almost suffocating atmosphere of the hut, Shen Yuan strolled alongside Pei Ming, gazing at the scenery as they chatted easily about nothing. They continued peacefully until Pei Ming suddenly stopped in the middle of the crowded streets, as if he had suddenly remembered something. Shen Yuan looked at Pei Ming in confusion as people walked around them.
“Shui-xiong, I have something to give you.” Pei Ming quickly reached towards his waist and untied one of the two tassels. He held it out to Shen Yuan, patiently waiting for him to take it.
Shen Yuan carefully reached out, taking the tassel from Pei Ming’s outstretched hand. His eyes softened in recognition as he gently stroked the tassel. This was his matching tassel from the very first mission that the Three Tumors had all gone on. Prior to his… death, Shen Yuan had always had it attached to his fan, but after… after Jun Wu found and captured him, he had thought it had been lost forever. He had never expected that Pei Ming would find it, much less get it back.
Shen Yuan reached to his waist, subconsciously reaching for his fan so he could tie the tassel to it, but he stopped short when he felt cold metal butting up against his hand. Looking down, he raised an eyebrow as he saw Xin Mo wiggling slightly.
Sighing, Shen Yuan grabbed Xin Mo and tied the tassel to its hilt. While he did so, the sword almost snuggled into his hold, seemingly adoring all the attention that it was given. Shen Yuan couldn’t help but smile at Xin Mo’s behavior, reminding him of a certain puppyish former disciple. As soon as Shen Yuan finished tying the tassel and placed Xin Mo back at his side, Xin Mo snuggled even closer to Shen Yuan’s side--as if it wanted to fuse into his body.
Shen Yuan smiled gratefully at Pei Ming. “Thank you for finding it Pei-xiong. I… I had never dared to hope that I would see it again.”
Pei Ming looked deeply in his eyes, the other god’s eyes almost seemed to glisten as his hands hovered near him. Pei Ming cleared his throat abruptly as he turned away, “I....maybe we should get the alcohol…”
They had barely resumed walking before Pei Ming once again stopped. He glanced between Xin Mo and the tassel tied to it. “Shui-xiong…..” Pei Ming paused again, as Shen Yuan watched, doubt seemed to fill the other man’s eyes. Shen Yuan’s heart hurt as he saw the confidence and courage Pei Ming constantly wielded in battles suddenly disappear, leaving behind a lost child that was nothing like the general that won numerous wars.
Shen Yuan knew that he could pretend to remain oblivious to what Pei Ming was clearly trying to ask. He knew that Pei Ming would completely drop the topic if he was unwilling to talk about it. And Shen Yuan desperately wanted to do anything other than to talk about what had happened to him. He wanted to pretend that everything was fine. That he was fine. But the truth was, he knew that was not true, and he knew what he needed to do.
Shen Yuan reached out to Pei Ming, grabbing his hand. Shen Yuan could feel Pei Ming’s pulse racing and hands trembling in his hold. He couldn’t bring himself to look at his face, choosing to glue his eyes to the floor instead.
“You are and have been so brave, but now it’s time for you to live.”
That’s right. Shen Yuan was brave. He could be brave and live. He would move on. He would live for Binghe, and maybe, in the future, he could even live for himself.
Shen Yuan’s hold tightened to an almost uncomfortable degree as he tried to gather whatever courage he had. Pei Ming remained still, carefully and patiently watching over him as he struggled.
It took a long time before Shen Yuan dared to look up at Pei Ming’s face but neither minded, both choosing to ignore the people around them. Under Pei Ming’s intense stare, Shen Yuan finally said, “Pei-xiong… Not here. Let’s go to a secluded area?”
Just when Shen Yuan was about to use his spiritual energy to lighten his body and increase his speed, Pei Ming lifted him into his arms, much to Shen Yuan’s dismay.
“Pei-xiong! Put me down!” Shen Yuan yelped in embarrassment.
“Shui-xiong, you are currently still healing.” Pei Ming politely said, his face red as he adjusted Shen Yuan’s body to more comfortably hold him.
Shen Yuan gave up resisting choosing to silently curse at Pei Ming while simultaneously thanking him. Shen Yuan’s body was still tremendously sore after his night with Luo Binghe, and he had been trying very hard to try to walk normally. However, he did not regret the pain at all. He pulled the robe closer to him and leaned into Pei Ming’s embrace as he directed Pei Ming to where he thought Qing Jing Peak was likely located.
He didn’t know if Qing Jing Peak was standing, but he wanted to at least go and see where it was. He wasn’t sure why exactly he wanted to bring Pei Ming along, but he was glad of his presence.
A sudden urge, he supposed.
Thank You.
They alighted in the middle of a dense bamboo forest, the paths filled with overgrown grass and weeds. It was clear that though the forest had once been meticulously cared for, it had been years since it had been the case.
Pei Ming would have continued walking had it not been for Shen Yuan calling out.
“Wait. Not that way.” From Shen Yuan’s memories, something didn’t seem right. The layout seemed off. While on the surface, it all looked normal, there was a subtle wrongness to it. It was as if there was some sort of illusion that was preventing the actual landscape from being seen. He had lived on Cang Qiong Mountains for years. He knew it like the back of his hand, and this new scenery was wrong. However, he was unsure if he was just overthinking it.
The landscape and the mountain changing shouldn’t have changed so drastically. Even though he wasn’t sure how many years it had been since his death on Maigu Ridge and now, surely time wouldn’t have changed it so thoroughly. While he had not been on the mountain for so long, and while his memories could be mistaken, his intuition was telling him that he was correct—the scenery in front of him was hiding the truth.
Pei Ming looked at Shen Yuan in confusion, but did as he was told. Shen Yuan carefully scrutinized the area, his eyes lighting up when he sensed the faintest trace of an array. He quickly pointed it out to Pei Ming, who obligingly broke it, revealing something that Shen Yuan never thought he would ever see again.
In the middle of the clearing stood a familiar sight that brought tears to his eyes—his bamboo house. It was a miracle that it remained standing even after centuries had passed, and while it did look severely run-down, it was still there and it had been his . Unfortunately, the rest of the mountain was in nowhere near as good condition as even his dilapidated house.
It looked nothing like the pristine and graceful house that he remembered from the past. It was rotting, and was seemingly filled with resentful and chaotic energy. He looked at it with heaviness in the pit of his stomach. Something definitely happened in this place, but he was scared of what he might find.
He quietly asked to go inside, and he almost thought Pei Ming might simply turn around with how long he hesitated. Finally, Pei Ming stepped forward, still holding him as he refused to put Shen Yuan on the dirty, germ-filled floor. Each footstep Pei Ming took, left a footprint in the layers of dust.
“Pei-xiong! You can set me down in here.” Shen Yuan tried to get out of Pei Ming’s hold, wanting to investigate the surrounding area, but Pei Ming’s hold on him tightened a little bit before loosening once more.
“Don’t get down, it is dirty. Please wait a moment Shui-xiong.” Pei Ming walked them both outside, placing Shen Yuan on the clean, though overgrown grass, and returned to the bamboo house.
Shen Yuan watched as the bamboo house lit up a couple of times from Pei Ming’s spiritual energy. Pei Ming finally walked out once again and led Shen Yuan back inside.
Although the house still looked old and in desperate need of repair, the inside no longer reeked of resentful energy, and did appear to be cleaner. He stifled a smile. Who knew that the number two Martial God was also so good at cleaning? Pushing down his amusement, he looked around the familiar room. With the room cleaned, it simply looked messy, the table and chair having fallen to the side, while a tea set was lying destroyed on the floor. Near the bed, there seemed to lie a set of robes.
Upon closer inspection, the robes looked more like rags. They were completely torn up, and were barely holding on to their former shape, despite the fact that the clothes were made out of heavenly material, allowing them to resist the test of time and be automatically cleaned.
Shen Yuan held up the remains of the clothes to his eyes, trying to get any information.
The robes looked similar to the uniforms worn by those in Bai Zhan and Qian Cao Peaks, but other than that, he was unable to glean any more information on just what those robes were doing in his old house. Shen Yuan sighed as he placed the clothes to the side and sat on the bed, suddenly feeling immeasurably tired.
The more he found, the more questions seemed to pile up. When Pei Ming brought him here, the surrounding areas where the other peaks were located had all changed, it seemed that villages had been established with common people inhabiting the other peaks, yet only Qing Jing Peak remained hidden and somewhat unchanged. Just what had happened?
“Shui-xiong?” Pei Ming moved to the bed, looking at Shen Yuan with concern.
He sighed as he looked up at Pei Ming from where he was crouched, “I found something, but I’m not sure what exactly it means.”
Pei Ming tried to send him a reassuring smile, “Well why don’t you tell me what it is you found, and perhaps I could help out?”
Shen Yuan hesitated, unsure of how to answer Pei Ming. How could he even begin to explain the situation? If he did, what if Pei Ming decided to turn from him in disgust? After all--
“I am the only one who would accept all of you like this.”
He shuddered, closing his eyes. It seemed he could never fully escape Jun Wu. He struggled to control his breathing as he remembered when Jun Wu had first imprisoned him and the start of the years of torment he endured.
“I have known of you for countless years. So much better than you could have ever dreamed. The whispers of your story, your name uttered on the lips of utter trash. The selfless Shizun and his worthless half-demon of a disciple.”
He trembled, stuck in the memory as his hand blindly reached out to grip at Pei Ming’s robe.
“Don’t turn away from me,” Jun Wu bit out, his hand reaching out to clench around Shen Yuan’s jaw, “Not when I am the only one in existence who truly knows you.”
Shen Yuan shook his head harshly, opening his eyes as he tried to send a weak smile to Pei Ming, but couldn’t muster the energy. With Binghe—he inhaled at the sharp pang the thought brought him—gone, and Shang Qinghua’s whereabouts still unknown, Jun Wu really was the only one who truly knew him. Hah. What a joke. The man that he most hated and feared was the only one who knew his deepest secrets—the one who had seen him at his most shameful.
He hated it.
Jun Wu had stolen so many pieces of him throughout the years—had carved himself indelibly into Shen Yuan, but at least this—he had a choice here. He could take this from Jun Wu, and choose to share his secrets with someone he trusted. With Binghe, he had told him the truth because it had only been right. Here, with Pei Ming, it would be his first steps towards truly living for himself and allowing himself to be vulnerable with someone he trusted.
Slowly he unclenched his hands as he raised his eyes to meet Pei Ming’s worried gaze. “I think… I have not been fair to either you or Ling Wen, and for that I am so sorry.” Shen Yuan held up a hand to stop Pei Ming’s immediate rebuttal, “I fully admit that I… I have hidden things about myself from you two because I felt it was my burden to bear.”
“The first of which… My descension from Heaven was entirely my own choice and was inevitable. Xie Lian had nothing to do with it, so please stop blaming him.” Shen Yuan had nearly had a heart attack when he had seen the way Pei Ming and Ling Wen were treating Xie Lian. Characters that acted against the protagonist never ended up well. He couldn’t let them continue to court death and ill-fortune.
“How was it not his fault? If it wasn’t because of Xie Lian, you wouldn’t have been involved in the disaster surrounding Xianle and forced to fight against Bai Wuxian, much less demoted to the mortal realm! How can you say it was inevitable?” Pei Ming frowned, his knuckles turning white as he struggled to keep his emotions under control.
“Do you remember when I bought out all of the defensive and protective tools in Heaven?” Shen Yuan let out a sigh as he thought back to how tiring that time had been. “Remember how I worked so hard to gather merits to do so?”
Pei Ming silently nodded at Shen Yuan, patiently waiting for him to continue. Shen Yuan’s heart felt lighter at Pei Ming’s silent support. It gave him further courage to continue, to let everything out and pretend that he was just saying these words to himself, rather than fearing that Pei Ming would leave in disgust once he heard the truth.
“At the time, I had no choice but to try to buy as many protective talismans as I could get. I had to protect Shi Qingxuan from the Venerable of Empty Words. He had been targeted at a young age, but it got worse over time, and it was slowly driving him insane. However, no matter how hard I tried—there were never enough merits to keep him safe. “ Shen Yuan took a deep breath, trying to stabilize himself before confessing the next part. “I was then given a chance to save him… I was given the choice to switch his fate with He Xuan’s.”
Shen Yuan quietly laughed at himself, running his fingers through his hair, before clenching his hands in it. “I could switch their fates and save my brother, but by doing so, I would doom He Xuan to a miserable fate and force his entire family to terrible suffering...I admit… I thought of it. I can’t and won’t deny it. I really thought of it.”
Shen Yuan’s voice trembled as he continued, “I wanted to. I thought of it every night when I had to help Qingxuan through his nightmares… when I was so tired from doing missions… If I switched their fates, I could save my brother. If I switched their fates, I wouldn’t need to work so hard... I could finally be free.”
Shen Yuan’s hands clenched tighter as he started to yank at his hair, the sharp pain grounding him slightly. His voice increased with rage and sorrow. “You don’t understand how many sleepless nights I went through thinking about it. How that salvation and the guilt of even thinking about making that choice haunted my every moment. But I couldn’t escape from it. Not when Shi Qingxuan needed me so badly. Not when I was constantly reminded about the consequences of my responsibility.”
He startled a little when he felt Pei Ming gently grab his hands, persuading him to unclench his fists, letting his hair fall free. Wordlessly, Pei Ming then reached into his pouch, and pulled out a jug of wine and another container that seemed to be half full of water. He poured the wine in, diluting the alcohol before handing it to Shen Yuan.
He took the container gratefully from Pei Ming, hurriedly taking a drink. With the alcohol so diluted with water, he would have to drink a lot to get intoxicated, but it allowed him to loosen up just enough to help him talk more freely, as well as ground him a little bit more in the present.
He continued hoarsely, “I chose to help Xie Lian. It was my choice alone, and I made it knowing that the chance of failure was high. I wasn’t so delusional to think I could save Xianle, but Xie Lian looked so pitiful and lonely, and I… I knew what that felt like…”
Shen Yuan chuckled dryly, “I couldn’t help but feel guilty for not helping when I could do so. I know that I am not a good person nor am I some benevolent saint. I just... Wanted to at least not be a villain. I wanted to protect those that I cared for, and before I knew it, Xie Lian also became someone I cared for. Halfway through, I realized that I couldn’t continue. I was spreading myself too thin. Half-heartedly trying to solve two different issues would help no one.”
Shen Yuan took another drink as his eyes started to sting. “That was when I realized that there was a third option to help Shi Qingxuan. Instead of He Xuan, I could just switch my fate with Shi Qingxuan’s. If I gave everything to him, Shi Qingxuan would be free of the Venerable of Empty Words.”
He scrubbed a hand uncaringly across his eyes, “However, even though I had been able to protect Shi Qingxuan, I still had to solve another problem. In order to help with Xianle’s drought, I needed to use an immense amount of spiritual energy. As I pushed myself to try to help, there came a point where I simply couldn’t do anything. My spiritual energy was going to Shi Qingxuan at a pace much faster than I anticipated and soon, I became completely useless.”
Shen Yuan took a shuddering breath, “My divinity and spiritual energy... everything was going to go to Shi Qingxuan. It simply happened sooner rather than later. Xie Lian had nothing to do with it.”
Pei Ming grabbed the container and took a big gulp. He softly touched Shen Yuan’s hand, moving it towards Xin Mo. “If you ever encounter another situation where you are forced to choose between yourself or another person, please choose yourself. It would… cause me a great deal of comfort knowing you would do so.”
He smiled softly, “You don’t need to be a good person… You could even be the evilest villains. Whatever you choose, I will forever stand by you. You need never feel pitiful or lonely.”
Shen Yuan laughed wetly and leaned onto Pei Ming’s chest. “You don’t even know what I have done... Who knows if you would be so willing to still say that after knowing?”
“Then tell me.” Pei Ming whispered by Shen Yuan’s ear, loosely embracing him before turning him to face him. “I can promise you that even after you tell me, I will still choose to stand by your side.”
Shen Yuan’s mouth trembled, before he whispered, “What He Xuan said was true. It was my fault that the children at Qing Jing Temple were killed, and then I… I absorbed their souls. I wanted to give them a good life, but now they can’t even reincarnate. My kids…” He let out a sob, “All thirty of them, just like that, gone because of me. I failed them not once, but twice.” Shen Yuan closed his eyes as he felt tears run down his cheeks. Pei Ming slowly and gently wiped them all away.
“I am still here.” Pei Ming softly pressed Shen Yuan’s head to his shoulder, letting him lean into him for support.
Shen Yuan spoke into Pei Ming’s shoulder, too scared to look at him, “I failed someone very important to me. He was the one who cared the most for me, wanting nothing more than to make me happy, but I was too stupid to see it. I ran away from him, always believing the worst of him when all he wanted was for me to accept him.”
He laughed mirthlessly, “I thought he wanted to hurt me, when in truth I was the one who was always hurting him. Even though he meant so much to me...even though he cared so much for me, I ended up pushing him to a place that was worse than hell, and he still believed in me. I even disappeared, and he waited for me for years --” Shen Yuan’s voice cracked, as he fought down a sob, “just to sacrifice himself to heal me. I did nothing but cause him harm, yet not only did he not resent me, he was also willing to give up everything for me. Even his chance to reincarnate.”
“That is because he and I both believe that you're worth the pain, sorrow, and everything else.” Pei Ming leaned into Shen Yuan, “Never doubt your worth Shi Wudu.”
Shen Yuan’s hold on Pei Ming tightened, almost to a painful extent as he nearly wailed. “How can you even say that? I failed him constantly. He meant so much to me, but I never got the chance to tell him that I loved him. I wished I did. I regret my actions so much . I miss him Pei-xiong.”
Pei Ming stiffened a bit before tightening his hold on Shen Yuan, never once complaining that Shen Yuan was holding onto him too tightly or how wet his shoulders had become.
“I am sure that he didn’t think that you failed him. You're not alone. No matter what, I am still by your side.”
Shen Yuan wanted to feel relief at Pei Ming’s words, but he stiffened as he recalled Jun Wu’s words when he had been imprisoned.
“I will get rid of everything and everyone that is keeping you from me. I will raze the entire world to ashes until I am the only one you have left to turn to.”
If Pei Ming continued to be with him, he wasn’t sure what Jun Wu would do. Pei Ming was the person who he trusted and relied on the most in this world. He was always watching out for him, and was always just there for him unconditionally, even after Shen Yuan had bared his heart to him. No questions asked and no answers needed. If Jun Wu attacked Pei Ming because of Shen Yuan… He thought he would die of the guilt.
Shen Yuan lifted his head to look intently at Pei Ming. “If something were to happen to me, and associating with me hurt you, I want you to leave and renounce me.” Shen Yuan pulled away from Pei Ming’s hold, waiting for an agreement.
“No. Even if being with you causes my reputation to be dragged through the dirt and all of my worshippers left me, I still wouldn’t leave you. No matter what happens. Even if I lose everything, I am willing to bet it all on you.” Pei Ming’s mouth turned down mulishly as he stared at Shen Yuan, daring him to try to get rid of him.
Shen Yuan’s eyes widened. Pei Ming normally agreed with his every word. This was the first time he had ever unequivocally refused one of his requests. “No. You can’t. You can’t do this to me. If anything happens you MUST leave. I can’t do this to you of all people.” Shen Yuan shook Pei Ming’s shoulders, demanding him to agree.
Pei Ming remained stubborn. “I cannot fulfill your request.”
“I can’t let you be like him. I can’t let you lose everything because of me. Pei Ming! You are my closest friend, I cannot do this to you.” Shen Yuan’s eyes filled with tears, begging for him to agree.
“ Please. ”
“I am sorry.” Pei Ming closed his eyes. “It would be easier for you to tell me to turn my own sword on myself. I will not leave you behind.”
“Please Pei-xiong.” Shen Yuan sobbed, dropping to the ground.
Pei Ming’s voice cracked, as he croaked out. “I’m sorry. I-- I can’t do that.”
Shen Yuan dropped his head to his hands, as he mourned what his stubborn friend was willingly throwing away for his sake. He wished he could talk about his true identity to Pei Ming, but he was still too scared to risk the possibility of ruining their friendship. For right now, it would remain a secret between Luo Binghe, Jun Wu, Shang Qinghua, and himself. God. Shang Qinghua. He missed that hamster so much. He really was the only one who could truly understand him. He wanted to see him, but he had no idea what had even happened to him.
He raised his head to look at Pei Ming again, before sighing, “Why can’t you use this stubbornness during times it would actually be beneficial to you?”
Pei Ming barked out a laugh, before he reached into his pouch and pulled out another two jugs of wine.
“How can you be sure it’s not? For right now, drink with me. Live in the moment, and don’t feel troubled by the past or future. Who knows what will happen tomorrow, or a few days from now? Life is unpredictable, so don’t think too much about it.” Pei Ming smiled charmingly at Shen Yuan and dangled the jug tantalizingly in front of him.
“I can see now how you charmed all of those poor women off of their feet.” Shen Yuan deadpanned before swiping the jug and sitting next to Pei Ming.
As Shen Yuan opened his drink, he eyed Pei Ming. “Weren’t we supposed to buy wine? How come you already have it on you?” His eyes widened as he sniffed the wine, “Osmanthus wine? You even carried around my favorite.”
Pei Ming winked, “Shhh, don’t question it. Besides, Ling Wen already has more than enough on her.” He raised his drink, silently requesting cheers, which Shen Yuan gave him. “After getting our sorrows out, we should always drink with a beauty for company.”
“If you wanted to do that then we should have gone to the brothel.” Shen Yuan scoffed.
“We don’t need to go to a brothel when the most beautiful person is already here.” Pei Ming smirked.
“Narcissist.” Shen Yuan laughed at Pei Ming, teasing him for his notoriously large ego.
Pei Ming laughed alongside Shen Yuan, eyes teasing as he pulled him closer. “What I said is true.”
“Stop being stupid.”
Don’t Be Afraid To Rely On Me.
Pei Ming smiled as he looked down at Shi Wudu’s gracefully sprawled form. Just like always, Shi Wudu was down after just three drinks. He gently ran his fingers through Shi Wudu’s hair, lifting a lock up to smell the familiar scent.
“PEI MING! Are you done? Where are you two?”
Pei Ming winced at Ling Wen’s tone, before looking down fondly at Shi Wudu.
“Shui-xiong got drunk. You have wine on you right? You can use that for the celebration. We won’t be coming back, so all of you can have fun celebrating.”
Ling Wen took some time before she gave him a response, almost making him believe that she cut off the voice transmitter in a fit of rage.
“...Fine.”
“Thank you, Ling Wen.”
“Look after him alright? Don’t… Don’t let him disappear on us again.”
“I will. I won’t let him suffer like that again Ling Wen.”
Pei Ming turned his attention towards Shi Wudu when he felt a tug.
“Ming-ge,” Shi Wudu tightened his hold, unwilling to let go and demanding attention. “You can’t leave me.”
“Hmm, Ming-ge will be here.”
“If Ming-ge leaves I will be lonely. I will be scared. I don’t want to be alone.”
“Ming-ge won’t leave.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Why are you the most honest when you are intoxicated? Why push me away when you clearly want someone to be by your side? Why don’t you understand that you are worth loving? I love you so much, but why do you refuse to believe it?
Pei Ming tightened his hold on Shi Wudu, trying to match his smile. In that broken and pitiful house, they celebrated alone.
Notes:
Pictures found Twitter: Jun Wu/Shi Wudu
Pei Ming/Shi WuduThe start of the 800 year imprisonment: smut
Chapter 20: Still Waiting For You.
Notes:
Warning: Reference to rape.
Chapter Text
“Ming-ge! I want a hug!” Shi Wudu’s face was flushed from drinking as he reached towards Pei Ming with grabby hands, in a request for affection.
Pei Ming could do this. He could have self control and not coo and grab Shui-xiong like he wanted to because he was a powerful Martial God, victor of countless battles and breaker of thousands of hearts. However, in front of a gently flushed Shi Wudu who was pouting and whining ever so adorably, he had about as much willpower as a rabbit in a vegetable patch.
Who was he to deny a single thing that Shi Wudu wanted? Another, darker part of him noted that the times Shi Wudu was like this were so rare, that he would have to be a far better man than he was to not take advantage of the situation. Unequivocally accepting his weakness, he immediately moved to Shi Wudu’s side, hugging him tightly as he nuzzled into his neck, breathing him in. He gently stroked away stray strands of hair from Shui-xiong’s face, before winding his fingers through the silky hair, gently picking up a lock of hair and softly kissing it. He smiled as he felt Shi Wudu melt into his arms, but the smile dropped when he felt the other man begin pushing him away.
“Ming-ge it’s too hot. Let go!” Shi Wudu whined as he weakly pushed against Pei Ming’s chest, too relaxed to truly put any force into the motion. Pei Ming couldn’t help but huff an amused breath at Shui-xiong’s pushes, which felt more akin to a cat pawing at him petulantly, than a person actually pushing. Acquiescing to Shi Wudu’s demand again, he moved back slightly, heart warmed as he pushed aside Shi Wudu’s hair to kiss his forehead.
“Okay. Ming-ge will give you some space.” Pei Ming reluctantly moved away from Shi Wudu, his heart twisting when Shui-xiong looked up at him with unfocused eyes, completely dazed and oh so vulnerable.
Shi Wudu broke eye contact as his eyes drifted searchingly around the room, as if he were a lost and confused child looking for his parents. His eyes lit up when his gaze finally landed on a door that appeared to lead to a side room, quickly pushing himself up and crawling off the bed. Pei Ming quickly steadied him when he almost face planted on the floor, patiently helping him stand up.
Once Shi Wudu was successfully on his feet, he pulled away from Pei Ming again as he unsteadily walked towards the door, with Pei Ming carefully following in case he lost his balance again. Pei Ming observed Shi Wudu, frowning slightly at all of the incongruities adding up. The spiritual energy maintaining the house and the barrier felt ancient--as if they had been laid even before he had ascended. With their age, there was no way that Shi Wudu should be familiar with this place, but even in his drunken state, it seemed as if he knew the layout of the house like it was the back of his hand.
He watched as Shi Wudu knocked on the door and paused, seemingly waiting for a response. Pei Ming’s frown deepened as he watched Shui-xiong patiently wait with childlike anticipation for someone to answer.
“Shui-xiong, there is no one else here. It’s just us.” Pei Ming tugged at Shi Wudu’s sleeve, trying to calm him and divert his attention. “Can’t Ming-ge be enough?”
“But-- But I must see Binghe.” Shi Wudu’s eyes never moved from the door, anxiously watching for any movement. “I have to wait for him to come back. He waited for me, so how could I not do the same and wait for him?” He bit his lip as he almost inaudibly whispered “He will come back.”
Pei Ming’s heart panged when the name Binghe once again slipped through Shi Wudu’s lips, his voice filled with yearning. Why was it that Shi Wudu was so willing to push his weakened body to stand and wait for this person and this person alone?
Desperation and sorrow fueling his movements, Pei Ming stepped forward to wrap his arms around Shi Wudu’s waist from behind, his face moving to the side of Shi Wudu’s neck as he whispered fervently. “Ming-ge is here. Ming-ge promises that he won’t leave you. He promises you won’t ever feel lonely again.”
However, it was as if he was no more than a ghost, his words falling on deaf ears. Shi Wudu’s attention was completely focused on the door, as he waited patiently for this Binghe.
“I need to apologize to him. If he forgives me, I know I can see him again.” Shi Wudu inhaled sharply, “Binghe, I promise I won’t run anymore!” He struggled out of Pei Ming’s hold, forcing his body to move jerkily towards the door to open it. However, to his immense dismay, the door seemed to be sealed shut.
In desperation, Shi Wudu switched to slamming his fist against the door, “Binghe, it’s me! Please! Open the door! I was wrong!” He let out a sob as he begged.
In a desperate effort to stop Shi Wudu from hurting himself further, Pei Ming reached out and grabbed Shi Wudu’s waist pulling him away from the door.
Shi Wudu immediately froze before struggling wildly, “No, no, no. Not again! Please! Binghe! Binghe save me! Binghe!!” Shi Wudu started to scream as Pei Ming continued to pull him away.
“Don’t move.” Pei Ming grabbed Shi Wudu’s reddened hands into one hand and lightly kissed both of his wrists. “I’ll take care of everything for you. Just calm down and stay here.”
For a moment, it seemed as if his words had worked, as Shi Wudu slowly ceased his movements. However, when Pei Ming slowly let go of his wrists to shift his arms around Shi Wudu to help lower him to the ground, the other man immediately twisted away as he sobbed out, “Please don’t-- I promise I’ll be good! I can’t again— Not so soon—You can use my mouth instead--”
Pei Ming immediately froze when he heard Shi Wudu’s words, ice filling his insides.
No.
As if responding to Shi Wudu’s distress, the dark sword hanging from his waist ominously began to release demonic energy, in a clear warning for Pei Ming to leave Shi Wudu alone. However, Pei Ming ignored it, his heart drumming a frantic beat against his chest as he forced down his horror at what his Shui-xiong had likely gone through. He had to help Shui-xiong now. He could think about what Shui-xiong had suffered and plan revenge later.
He carefully gave Shi Wudu space as he gentled his tone, “Shui-xiong, it’s Ming-ge. You’re safe right now.” He swallowed the lump in his throat, as he croaked out, “You’re not there anymore with that man. It’s me, your Pei-xiong.” Pei Ming helplessly clenched his hands by his side as he tried to console Shi Wudu. How could he make sure that Shi Wudu knew that Pei Ming would never hurt him?
To Pei Ming’s utter relief, Shi Wudu finally seemed to calm a little as he blinked slowly at Pei Ming’s anxious face. “Pei-xiong? I-- But where’s Binghe? He should be here… I didn’t mean to leave... Binghe--” At the sound of Shi Wudu’s whimpers, it seemed that the sword had finally had enough and sent a massive wave of demonic energy towards Pei Ming. Distracted by Shi Wudu, the energy slammed hard against Pei Ming’s chest, sending him flying towards a wall full of deteriorating and discolored fans.
The sword floated in the air between the two, clearly intent on separating Pei Ming and Shi Wudu. Pei Ming pushed himself up, hissing at the pain he felt from the sudden impact. He silently cursed and glared at the sword. The sword wiggled a little and flared its demonic energy, as if it were taunting Pei Ming.
Where the fuck did Shi Wudu pick up this damned sword?
Pei Ming looked despairingly at Shi Wudu, who seemed to have gotten confused and disoriented once again, deciding to stumble towards the door in a single-minded mission. “Binghe! Please… I know it’s all my fault. I know . So please… If I could see you just one more time… Just once--”
He broke off with a choked sob, as he beat his fist against the door, his arm bleeding from the repeated impacts. When the sword sensed the blood dripping from Shi Wudu’s arm, it finally abandoned its self-imposed mission to keep Pei Ming away, rushing towards Shi Wudu, as it rubbed itself against him in a distressed manner.
Taking advantage of the sword’s distraction, Pei Ming hurried towards Shi Wudu, gently brushing his hand to the side as he quickly broke the door along with the seal to let them both into the room. He glanced around quickly as he supported the still disoriented Shi Wudu. He sighed upon seeing that the room was empty as he’d suspected, but it appeared to be in better shape than the rest of the house, which looked as if a vicious fight had taken place.
“But… Where is Binghe?” Shi Wudu looked around the room, desperately searching. He finally turned towards Pei Ming, eyes filled with desperation, “Ming-ge, this… You promised you’d stay with me and help me find him. Could you help me please? I swear I’ll also help you with whatever you need, but right now Binghe is gone , and I don’t—I can’t--” With each word, Shi Wudu swayed closer to Pei Ming, before finally clutching his sleeve as if he was scared that he would lose him.
Pei Ming closed his eyes, unable to keep meeting Shi Wudu’s eyes that were filled with such terrible hope. Yes, he had promised that he would help search for this Binghe person the first time he and Shi Wudu had drank together. The first time that Shi Wudu had been so adorably unguarded, and Pei Ming had become his Ming-ge. He’d made that promise with confidence, but now… If what He Xuan said was true… That Luo Binghe was actually a powerful and ancient demon lord, who existed before even Jun Wu--
Was this person even alive? Could this Luo Binghe even be found? How did Shi Wudu even know Luo Binghe?
But whatever Shi Wudu wanted, he would get.
Pei Ming gently cupped Shi Wudu’s face, looking fondly into his anxious and unfocused eyes. “Could you show me what Binghe looks like?”
At Pei Ming’s words, Shi Wudu lit up as he excitedly circulated his spiritual energy to project an image of a sharply handsome man, with curls down his back and eyes that shone like stars. The projection smiled at them, his eyes crinkling as he called out a bright “Shizun!”
Creeping claws of ice clenched around Pei Ming’s heart as he carefully observed the image, listening to its voice. For a projection to be that detailed… For it to actually have a voice, Shi Wudu must truly love this Binghe for his image and voice to be so clear in his mind.
He watched a moment longer before turning to Shi Wudu with a bright smile that barely masked his turmoil. “Let's go and find Binghe together. Follow Ming-ge.”
Pei Ming carefully reached his hand out towards Shi Wudu, waiting patiently for Shi Wudu to decide whether to take it. He couldn’t help but smile when he felt Shui-xiong tentatively grasp onto his hand. With his free hand, Pei Ming quickly sketched out a transportation array on the door, before escorting Shi Wudu through it and into the brightly lit streets of one of the villages surrounding the mountain range they were in.
They walked through the street slowly, Pei Ming helping to support the still shaky Shi Wudu, as he pulled him closer, to protect Shi Wudu from inconsiderate people who would bump into him. Pei Ming’s heart grew heavier as they continued to walk. Normally, he could distract the drunk Shi Wudu through these kinds of activities, and pretend that they were on a date. However, he knew he would be unable to do so this time. He sighed heavily. He knew that if Ling Wen were there she would smack him harshly for what he was about to do. However, he just wanted Shui-xiong to be happy and forget his troubles—at least for a little while.
Guiding Shi Wudu to a tree beside a nearby river, he smiled down at the man. “Wait here and close your eyes. I have a surprise for you, so make sure not to open them until you hear it’s okay.” His eyes softened when Shi Wudu trustingly closed his eyes, listening to him without hesitation. With one last look at Shi Wudu’s form, Pei Ming made his way to a secluded area.
Taking a deep breath, he carefully crafted an intricate illusion around himself to match the image he had burned into his mind of Shi Wudu’s Binghe. Taking out a small pocket mirror, he checked his reflection. An extraordinarily handsome stranger stared back at him unhappily. It was perfect.
He looked nothing like himself.
Smiling sadly, he put the mirror away as he walked towards Shi Wudu, his heart feeling as if it would beat out of his chest, while his stomach twisted--conflicted in what he was doing, but knowing he couldn’t help himself if it made Shi Wudu happy. He stared at Shi Wudu’s waiting form, he recalled the sound of the projection’s voice, swallowing hard before finally calling out, “Shizun… Could you open your eyes?”
At his words, Shi Wudu slowly turned around, his eyes widening as he saw Pei Ming’s disguised form. Pei Ming held his breath, but released it when he saw a wide and excited smile light up Shi Wudu’s face like the sun shining through on a dark day. His heart ached. This was the first time he had ever seen Shi Wudu look at him that happily and excitedly… And it wasn’t even for him.
“Binghe!” Shi Wudu stumbled over to Pei Ming and grabbed his arms. “Ming-ge actually found you!” He looked to the side in confusion, “Did he not come back with you?”
Pei Ming winced internally as he replied with a strained smile, “Yes, he found me and sent me to find you. He went back to the others to give us some time to talk.”
Shi Wudu nodded in understanding before clasping his arms tighter, “Binghe… There’s so much to say, but first… I’m so sorry... I know I was wrong for letting you go like that. Can you forgive me?” Shi Wudu stepped closer to Pei Ming, enfolding him in his embrace as he burrowed into Pei Ming’s chest. Every time he tried to move, Shi Wudu would tremble and hold him closer, as if worried he might disappear into the air. Pei Ming simply held Shi Wudu back, letting out a shuddering breath at the feeling of Shi Wudu’s love and care.
So, this is what it’s like to be truly loved by Shui-xiong.
“There is nothing to forgive.” Pei Ming tried to smile as he continued to pretend.
Shi Wudu looked up at Pei Ming, smiling as he slowly leaned in to kiss the disguised man. His eyes fell shut as his soft lips puckered invitingly. His expression was so cute and completely irresistible to Pei Ming’s conflicted eyes. Almost letting out a curse, Pei Ming swiftly moved, covering Shi Wudu’s eyes, and startling the other man.
Right before he could utter that man’s name in confusion, Pei Ming used his other hand to cover Shi Wudu’s mouth, as he gently pushed his back against the tree. With tears in his eyes, he leaned in and kissed the back of the hand covering Shi Wudu’s mouth.
He wanted to kiss him. God he wanted to taste him, but he knew that if he succumbed to the temptation of stealing Shui-xiong’s love, he would truly be lost—in some ways no better than the man who had imprisoned Shui-xiong for centuries.
Pei Ming stiffened when the sword by Shi Wudu’s side began vibrating, resentful energy pouring out, as if it was about to angrily attack. He eyed it warily, slowly backing away from Shi Wudu, but both his movements and the sword’s gathering of energy stopped when Shi Wudu clung onto his robes, his smile creasing his eyes in joy.
“Binghe… Let’s go walk around please?”
With a slight pout, Shi Wudu reached down and intertwined their fingers, softly smiling down at their joined hands before looking back up at him with a cheeky smile. He turned, pulling the silent Pei Ming back towards the busy streets.
Pei Ming stared at their intertwined hands and the back of Shi Wudu’s head as he was pulled along before letting out a bitter smile. Even though the place where they were connected felt warm, his insides felt like ice. He knew, oh he knew that he didn’t deserve to be near the hearth that was Shi Wudu’s love. Especially because that warmth was meant for someone else, but if he didn’t come close—if he didn’t grasp some of that warmth, he was afraid that he would freeze to death.
No Matter How Fast I Run, The Distance Between Us Remains Worlds Apart.
As the night wore on, Pei Ming eventually carried Shi Wudu on his back when the man became too tired to walk, but stubbornly insisted he wanted to spend more time with Binghe out in the village. Helpless to Shi Wudu’s requests, and simply enjoying the feel of Shi Wudu’s warmth against his back, they strolled around aimlessly, simply enjoying the other’s company. Thinking back on the night, Pei Ming thought amusedly to himself that he should have simply kept his pouch open with the number of times he had opened and closed it that night.
He could honestly care less how his pouch had quickly become lighter as the night wore on. He had never gotten the chance to spoil Shi Wudu previously, as Shi Wudu would always insist on being the one treating others, preferring to use his own money. His Shui-xiong was fiercely independent, and while Pei Ming respected and loved that about him, he also wished to indulge him as well.
Despite Pei Ming’s desire to buy whatever expensive bauble or treat caught Shi Wudu’s eyes, the other man had surprisingly bad taste in food, gravitating towards cheap and sweet snacks. He was honestly an easy and cheap date, but Pei Ming wanted to completely spoil him, and instead continued to buy expensive accessories and high-quality goods that would look perfect on Shi Wudu, completely draping the man in precious metals and stones.
The moon had risen high in the sky, and Shi Wudu had finally fallen asleep on his back, loosely clasping over Pei Ming’s broad shoulders. Pei Ming made sure that each step remained steady and idly watched the people walk past him as he moved forward, simply taking in the scent and feel of Shi Wudu on his back. With a heavy heart, Pei Ming listened to Shi Wudu’s soft breathing and low mumbles, admiring the gentle way his hair flowed whenever he moved his head. He never wanted their date to end, but he knew that he must eventually bring Shi Wudu back and face reality.
After Pei Ming finally arrived at the house everyone else was staying in, he stood staring at the door, before finally nudging it open to slip inside, only to be greeted by the sight of a clearly disgruntled Shi Qingxuan.
“What do you mean we’re going to have this party without Ge?” Shi Qingxuan frowned at Ling Wen as he unhappily poured wine into his cup.
“Didn’t you want to celebrate his return? You should drink more then. Clearly, you need more wine if you are still thinking properly.” Ling Wen grabbed the jug, pouring a cup for herself, before taking a sip. “Besides, no need to worry about his safety because Pei Ming is by his side.”
“How is that meant to be reassuring in the slightest? I can assure you that it isn’t.” He Xuan stared balefully at Ling Wen before pushing his chair back, as if he was preparing to leave.
“He-xiong’s right! It's because it is Pei Ming that I worry.” Shi Qingxuan quickly downed his cup, setting it down with a thunk, before getting up and grabbing He Xuan’s sleeve. “He-xiong! I’ll help you search for Ge.”
Ling Wen watched the two emotionlessly, before sighing and helping herself to another drink. Xie Lian looked around, hesitating before also deciding to get up.
“The food has gone cold. Shi Wudu and Pei Ming have been gone for a long time. Buying alcohol shouldn’t take this long, and there is still a threat out there against Shi Wudu. We should search for them.” Xie Lian determinedly stood up from the table, closely followed by Hua Cheng as they followed He Xuan and Shi Qingxuan to the door, leaving Ling Wen alone with the drinks and cold food.
Pei Ming sweatdropped when everyone finally noticed his presence standing awkwardly by the door.
“Hello! We made it back!” Pei Ming smiled brightly as he tried to sidestep his newly formed audience.
“Who?” Shi Qingxuan squinted his eyes at Pei Ming with confusion.
Xie Lian’s eyes widened, “You!”
Pei Ming hurriedly dropped the illusion, realizing that he was still wearing a different appearance. “Hahaha, I forgot about this. It’s me Pei Ming. Anyway, why I look like this is a long story. A very long story.” Pei Ming continued to laugh nervously as Ling Wen facepalmed in the back.
Fighting A Losing War
Ling Wen sighed. She didn’t know what she was expecting when Pei Ming had decided to ditch them all and abscond Shi Wudu for a guerilla date. However, knowing their friend’s lack of any notion of subtlety, she honestly should have expected Shi Wudu to come back looking like an overly pampered Princess after he had left wearing that black rag he called an outer robe.
She watched as Pei Ming gently set Shi Wudu onto the bed under He Xuan’s strict and disapproving surveillance. He carefully removed all of the jeweled decorations in Shi Wudu’s hair, running his hands carefully through it to ensure none of it was missed, prioritizing his comfort.
His job done, Pei Ming heaved himself up with a sigh, but stopped short when his sleeve was gripped tightly by Shi Wudu, preventing him from moving. Huffing out a fond breath, Ling Wen bent down, to try to help free Pei Ming from Shi Wudu’s tight grip, but failed. Her lips thinned into a frown. It seemed that Shi Wudu’s body subconsciously was aware that Pei Ming was trying to leave him and wanted to stop him. Well, if that’s what comforted Shi Wudu, she wouldn’t bother with unnecessarily upsetting him. Besides, she thought as she internally rolled her eyes, from the look on Pei Ming’s face, it looked like he wouldn’t mind staying like that forever.
He Xuan’s faced twisted angrily as he looked where Shi Wudu was holding Pei Ming’s sleeves and quickly pulled out a knife.
“Wait, wait! Wind Master, please hold on. Let’s talk things out before you do anything rash!” Xie Lian hurriedly waved his hands around as he moved in between Pei Ming and He Xuan.
“Gege’s right.” Hua Cheng smiled at Xie Lian, before shooting a warning look towards He Xuan.
“It’s not like he’s going to stab Pei Ming or anything.” Shi Qingxuan said in a dissatisfied tone.
Ling Wen decidedly ignored He Xuan’s mutter of “That could also be an option.”
Shi Qingxuan continued, rolling his eyes. “He’s just going to cut off Pei Ming’s sleeve. Besides, it’s not like that pervert needs all of his clothes intact considering how many other beds he’s tumbled into with other people for purposes that don’t require clothes.”
Pei Ming hurriedly cleared his throat, “No need to cut my sleeve. I am fine like this since it looks like Shui-xiong wants to keep me close.” He moved closer to Shi Wudu, shooting a smug look at He Xuan.
“Absolutely not.” He Xuan bit out, quickly stepping towards the bed as he sliced Pei Ming’s sleeve out of Shi Wudu’s grip. Shi Wudu’s hand loosely fell to the edge of the bed, still clutching the sleeve.
Pei Ming looked at the haphazardly cut sleeve and the cloth remaining in Shi Wudu’s grip with displeasure, before glaring at the now pleased Wind Master.
“No need to take it personally, General. It is just clothes, and I’m sure that it would be better for Shi Wudu to rest undisturbed. We can surely get you another robe.” Xie Lian hurriedly tried to defuse the tension mounting between Pei Ming and He Xuan.
Ling Wen sighed as she surveyed the room. It was clear that Pei Ming wasn’t upset about his sleeve getting cut. He was simply upset that he wasn’t a prisoner in Shi Wudu’s grip anymore. However, Pei Ming’s displeasure and potential fight with He Xuan could wait. There was a much more pressing issue they had to address.
With narrowed eyes, Ling Wen reached up and yanked at Pei Ming’s hair. “By the way, why exactly did you show up looking the way you did? Out with it so I can make necessary preparations.”
“Ouch! Ling Wen can’t you be a little gentler?” Pei Ming whined as he pulled his hair out of Ling Wen’s grip. “Who do you think looks better, the current me or that other appearance?”
Pei Ming’s voice might have sounded casual, but she could see just how strained his smile was, and the suspicious shine in his eyes.
Ling Wen didn’t even bother answering Pei Ming’s questions, choosing instead to drag him out of the room to discuss further. There was only one possible reason for Pei Ming’s strange appearance, and knowing He Xuan, Pei Ming, and Shi Qingxuan, if they were to have any conversation relating with Shi Wudu, it was highly likely a fight would break out. Shi Wudu didn’t need to be bothered by these hot heads.
Lingering at the doorway, Ling Wen turned back to gaze at Shi Wudu’s form lying on the white bed. His body was curled up with his hands pulled towards his chest. Despite his defensive position, he looked relaxed and almost at peace.
Her eyes softened a touch before turning to glare at everyone in the room in a silent signal for everyone to leave. She didn’t want anyone waking up Shi Wudu when he finally got some rest. Nodding in satisfaction as everyone filed past, she looked once again at Shi Wudu’s peaceful form.
Maybe everything would finally get better now.
Ling Wen glanced back at the fake smile plastered on Pei Ming’s face.
Or maybe not.
Ling Wen firmly closed the door once everyone had left the room, before pulling Pei Ming away and into another bedroom.
“Eh!? Ling Wen, what is this? You finally couldn’t resist my charm?” Pei Ming laughed as he sat cross-legged on the bed, waiting for her.
Ling Wen slammed the door shut. “Shut up. I know that look on your face. Stop putting on that fake smile, it looks disgusting.”
Pei Ming’s eyes widened before the smile slowly dropped from his face. He sighed, before looking up towards the ceiling, not meeting Ling Wen’s eyes. “Truly Ling Wen, can’t you ever let me get away with anything?”
Ling Wen simply waited patiently as Pei Ming played around with his fingers and fidgeted, allowing him the time to figure out what he wanted to say before he faced Ling Wen with a distressed look in his eyes.
“Ling Wen…. I think I am losing him. I don’t know what to do.”
You can’t lose someone you never had.
Ling Wen bit the side of her cheek to stop herself from saying her true thoughts. It would be unnecessarily cruel to dump water on Pei Ming’s fire like that, but she had to say something to keep him from getting too close to the fire and burning himself away in the process.
She sighed, “Old Pei… Why would you transform your appearance? I thought you were confident in the way you looked.”
Pei Ming let out a harsh laugh, “Because Shi Wudu didn’t want me. He wanted someone else.” Pei Ming let out a sigh and pinched the space between his eyes. “I hate this. I really do, but what else can I do?”
Not waiting for her to answer, he continued, “And Ling Wen… This entire time. We had no idea what Shui-xiong suffered. I thought I had an idea of it, but I truly knew nothing.”
He breathed out, “Ling Wen... Ling Wen, when he told me the twisted situation with Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan and himself—the choices he was faced with—I wanted to beat myself up for being such a fool. I had told myself that I would always be there for him, and yet even when I was right by his side, he still suffered.”
Pei Ming gave her a tortured glance, “He still is suffering.”
Ling Wen closed her eyes, slowly breathing in to push down the terrifying implications from what Pei Ming had just told her. Hah. It seemed as if Shi Wudu really knew how to hide his secrets didn’t he? For someone who prided herself on gathering information—on reading people, the thought that one of the people closest to her had hidden this type of information from her so thoroughly—
She cut that thought off, quickly thinking back to what she had known before Shi Wudu’s disappearance to put together the missing pieces. Shi Wudu had become a workaholic to provide for Shi Qingxuan, constantly gathering more and more merits to buy out Heaven’s entire supply of protective and defensive items. But what did that have to do with He Xuan?
Pei Ming took one look at her before setting up a spiritual array, sealing the room from entrance or eavesdropping.
Giving a long look at Ling Wen, he quietly said, “I don’t think Shi Wudu would mind because you’re the one I’m telling, but I know you’re aware that whatever I tell you will never be spoken of outside of us. “
“Whatever is said here will remain in this room.” Ling Wen gravely intoned, nodding her head.
Pei Ming began to speak, the words almost tripping off his tongue in his haste to speak, “It seems that a strong ghost called the Venerable of Empty Words used to torment Shi Qingxuan, slowly driving him to death. To protect Shi Qingxuan, Shi Wudu drove himself to work nonstop, but despite everything he did, it was still not enough.”
Pei Ming sighed, running a distracted hand over his face, “Shui-xiong--He said that he then had a choice. He had received the chance to change He Xuan’s fate with Shi Qingxuan’s--it would finally leave Shi Qingxuan in peace, and Shi Wudu wouldn’t have to push himself so hard… but he ultimately couldn’t bear to do it because he didn’t want to inflict that suffering onto another person.” Pei Ming laughed miserably before continuing, “If I’d only known... I would have been willing to get that blood on my hands. I would have done it in a heartbeat.”
Pei Ming heaved out a trembling sigh, “I...I would have done it for him... and maybe that’s why he didn’t tell me, choosing to carry his burden all alone. I just... I just wanted him to stop hurting himself… to stop pushing himself beyond his limits.” Pei Ming said in a defeated voice.
“That's n--” Ling Wen cut herself off, suddenly unsure.
She wanted to comfort Pei Ming, but she didn’t know what to even say—not when her mind was also in a complete mess after being bombarded with all of these revelations. She wanted to scream out that none of what he was saying made any sense, but she knew that it did. Perhaps she had always known that just mere overprotectiveness wouldn’t explain the desperation in Shi Wudu’s face and his actions. Looking back, everything made complete sense.
Their friendship had slowly broken apart because Shi Wudu pushed them away, but to begin with, they hadn’t been there for him in the first place because they had known nothing. They had been completely oblivious to Shi Wudu’s problems when it had mattered the most . Unfortunately, even though they knew everything now, that knowledge was useless because nothing could be changed.
Ling Wen swallowed, looking at Pei Ming’s bent head. She wanted to say that it was all in the past, that they were together again and could keep this from happening again, but she knew that nothing was over just yet. There was still so much that had to be done. Ling Wen was brought out of her thoughts when Pei Ming chuckled bitterly.
“He is so stupid . He’s such a fool, but aren’t we all?” Pei Ming took a deep breath as he struggled with his next words. “Instead of asking for our help or telling us anything , he silently switched his and Shi Qingxuan’s fate
He chose to fall. He chose to leave everyone behind.
Ling Wen had never before thought that mere words could so thoroughly steal her breath, but as she struggled to keep breathing evenly, she thought not a little frantically that it seemed she was still learning things about herself. She forcefully turned her mind to analyzing this new information. So Shi Qingxuan was never meant to be the Water Master. That actually made so much more sense. Shi Qingxuan, although he was a good god, did not have the ability or the qualifications to ascend—especially as Water Master.
Working hard and climbing up, just to lose everything willingly to protect others... that went beyond her imagination. Ling Wen would rather destroy everything than allow herself to fall to the depths that Shi Wudu had readily descended to.
The more Pei Ming talked about what Shi Wudu had gone through right under their noses and why Shi Wudu had decided to do what he had done, the more Ling Wen wanted him to just. Shut. Up. Knowledge was power, but the more she heard, the more tainted her memories of the Three Tumors became.
Was Shi Wudu’s smile always fake? Could he be considered their friend when clearly trust was such an issue? Shi Wudu didn’t trust them and had hidden things from them when there weren't supposed to be any secrets between them. Could they even be considered his friends when they had been unable to see through his lies? To see that he had been genuinely suffering?
Ling Wen snapped back to attention when Pei Ming suddenly swore, before continuing heavily. “That’s not the last of it though.”
Pei Ming covered his eyes with his hands as he started pacing around the room. “Shui-xiong… Has a lover. He’s in love with a man named Luo Binghe. That man… He is the one whose appearance I was wearing earlier.”
“Luo Binghe?” From what Ling Wen remembered, there was very little information about this person. All she knew was that he had been a demon lord that disappeared almost a millenia ago. How could Shi Wudu even know what this Luo Binghe looked like, let alone fall in love with a person who should have been long forgotten—whose very existence in the annals of history was questionable?
“Ling Wen, he kept calling out for him. He… He said that Luo Binghe had sacrificed himself for him, but when he was drunk… He only called out for him.” Pei Ming stopped his pacing and slumped gracelessly back onto the bed, looking helpless.
Ling Wen winced as she looked down at Pei Ming’s dejected form. If this Luo Binghe was truly gone, then Shi Wudu was only waiting at the closed door that once brought him happiness, not realizing that another door to happiness had opened—had always been open. Shi Wudu had been staring at the closed door for too long to notice anything else. How long would Pei Ming hold the door open for Shi Wudu to come through, while forcing himself to watch the other man pine at that closed door?
Ling Wen sighed, as she walked towards Pei Ming and wrapped her arms around him. If this play continued, neither of her friends would be happy, one or both of them must let go of their love.
“Old Pei… Maybe you should stop. Be happy as friends. You are just fighting a losing battle.” Ling Wen didn’t beg, but she was close to doing so. She was done watching both of her friends destroy themselves out of love. She wanted to tell Pei Ming that his fruitless pining was idiotic—that no matter what he did, it would be worthless, but she couldn’t. Not when she adored both of them and was willing to fight for their happiness.
Pei Ming laughed wetly. “You think I don’t know that Ling Wen? But I have never backed off nor run away from any battle. I’m the stubborn fool that continues to fight no matter how hard or seemingly impossible the battle or war may be.”
Pei Ming let out a sad smile. “Shui-xiong is someone that I must fight for. Running or giving up was never a choice for me.”
In Ling Wen’s mind, Pei Ming was not much different from a moth flying close to an open flame, chasing after the heat and light it offered, but ultimately getting too close, leading to their doom. If this continued, he would lose himself completely, and Ling Wen knew that if Shi Wudu was aware of what Pei Ming had chosen to sacrifice for him, he would never forgive himself.
“I know you’re a stubborn bastard, but truly. You should give up for your sake. From what I see, there is nothing that you will gain out of continuing to fight but pain.” Ling Wen bit her lower lip, struggling to think of a nicer way to say what she wanted to impart on Pei Ming next, but ultimately choosing to be as straightforward as possible. “Just… Old Pei. Don’t tell him how you feel. If you do, it will only hurt you both.”
“Ling Wen, are my feelings something to be ashamed of? A disgraceful secret that shouldn’t be said? If I stay silent, how would I know his feelings? How would he know what I truly feel for him?”
He smiled sadly, “Besides, I don’t mind getting hurt for or by him. I just want him to know that he is loved and safe.”
“Don’t tell him anything yet.” Ling Wen sighed, knowing that this was a lost cause. No matter what she said, Pei Ming, that stubborn old goat would remain steadfast. “At least let him recover and then wait for the right time.”
The two of them sat there, silently supporting the other as they regained their composure, before finally leaving the room and rejoining the others. Of course, Ling Wen thought viciously as her eyebrow ticked, they had come just in time for yet another headache. It seemed that everyone was now arguing about the sleeping arrangements. There were only three rooms, so they would have to share, nevermind that some people, (Ling Wen thought uncharitably staring at Hua Cheng) should just leave. Regardless, Xie Lian and Hua Cheng were already paired together with no complaints. The problem lay with Shi Qingxuan, He Xuan, and Pei Ming, who had immediately jumped headfirst into the argument. Simply put, they were fighting on just who would be sharing with Shi Wudu.
Listening to the argument with half an ear, Ling Wen’s eyes narrowed when she noticed Xie Lian staring at Pei Ming with a strange look on his face. There was no reason for Xie Lian to have such a conflicted look on his face while looking at the man unless he knew just who Pei Ming had been impersonating.
It seemed that she and Xie Lian needed to have a talk.
Returning Home
Shen Yuan came back to consciousness and immediately wished to go right back to unconsciousness. He had a massive headache, and it felt like he was being smothered by an overly amorous furnace. He cursed as he used the remaining spiritual energy to get rid of the hangover before he attempted to open his eyes.
There. One problem found and fixed and he hadn’t even left the bed yet. He was being so productive today. Once Shen Yuan felt that the war in his head was over, he opened his eyes and blearily stared at the sight in front of him.
Pei Ming was currently teetering on the edge of the bed. It appeared that the only reason why he hadn’t fallen off was because he was tightly hugging onto Shen Yuan, his face plastered against Shen Yuan’s chest. With a beleaguered sigh, Shen Yuan turned his head, only to freeze in shock as he came face to face with He Xuan, who seemed to be spooning him.
Turning back to face Pei Ming, because seriously, what was even his life? He had only now come back into a corporeal body, and he was being spooned and treated like a teddy bear. With an irritated huff, he gingerly tried to heave himself into a sitting position. Unfortunately, the more he tried to leave, the tighter he was held by both of the men. Collapsing back down onto the bed, he gave an undignified grunt as he glared at the uncooperative lump in front of him. Left with no other choice, he unceremoniously kicked Pei Ming off the bed, giving him enough room to scrabble free from He Xuan’s grasping arms.
Shen Yuan’s left eye twitched when Pei Ming playfully rolled on the floor. He rolled his eyes in annoyance when Pei Ming simply smiled charmingly at him.
Bastard, don’t pretend to sleep if you were actually awake. Shouldn’t you be too dignified to play pranks on this old man?
Just as he was about to leave the bed, he stiffened when he felt hands around his waist, heart skipping a beat. He whirled around to see He Xuan quickly raising his hands placatingly as he backed off.
“I apologize. I just wanted to check whether you are okay?” He Xuan concernedly looked over Shen Yuan.
“I-- I’m fine. Just… Please don’t touch me so suddenly.” Shen Yuan stiffly replied as he slid off of the bed.
He looked to the side, and smiled gratefully when Pei Ming handed him a hair ornament for him to put his hair up, perfunctorily straightening his robes.
“Where do you plan on going?” Pei Ming got off from the floor and started to also get ready to leave.
Shen Yuan sent a reassuring smile to Pei Ming, “Back to my house. I plan on staying there.”
Pei Ming’s nose wrinkled, “Wait. You want to go back to that old and disgusting house?”
Shen Yuan frowned at Pei Ming’s unneeded comment. “That’s rude. Don’t say such things about my house.”
“But Shui-xiong! That house is disgusting! You can’t live in those types of conditions!” Pei Ming weakly protested as he quickly began straightening his robes to prepare to leave with Shen Yuan.
Shen Yuan raised an eyebrow when he saw that Pei Ming’s sleeve seemed to have been cut off, and wondered vaguely what had happened, but abandoned his curiosity for another time in favor of defending his old bamboo house.
“Pei-xiong just shut up. That house will be more than enough for me once I fix and clean it up a bit.” Shen Yuan protested. It was his house and he planned to return to it. It would serve well enough for his purposes to not only stay out of sight of Jun Wu, but also figure out just what happened with Cang Qiong’s Peak Lords.
He was brought out of his thoughts when He Xuan blurted out, “If you plan on repairing your house, let me help.”
Shen Yuan tilted his head as he watched He Xuan also stand from the bed and straighten out his robes. During his time as a formless soul, he had gotten more used to the other man and learned of He Xuan’s softer side. It was beyond time to let go of his irrational fear of the other man. With a slight smile, he inclined his head, “I would greatly appreciate your help then.”
Pei Ming puffed up, bursting out, “Shui-xiong, I’m going to be helping you out too!”
“Oh? But didn’t General Pei Ming say that Shi Wudu’s house was disgusting? Perhaps you should just leave it to myself and Shi Wudu. Besides, I’m sure my help is all that he needs.” He Xuan cut in, staring Pei Ming down.
Pei Ming’s face grew thunderous, “You! No way will I leave Shui-xiong alone with you.” He turned towards Shen Yuan, “Shui-xiong! Don’t accept that bastard’s help! Let’s just leave by ourselves!”
Shen Yuan stared at the two supposed Gods, despairingly thinking.
I should have just stayed unconscious. Ling Wen please send help.
Chapter 21: Never Alone
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Life for Shen Yuan had settled into a relatively uneasy monotony of trying to unearth what had happened to Cang Qiong, fixing his bamboo house, and trying to plan out what to do about Jun Wu. With so many changes to the story, he was becoming less and less sure whether Jun Wu’s defeat was such an inevitability. Especially, he thought as his eyes stared unseeingly at the broom in his hands, considering that he knew that Jun Wu was only biding his time, hand firmly on Shen Yuan’s leash due to his ownership of Shen Yuan’s previous body.
Regardless, he had made at least some progress in certain aspects of his life. After doing some research, he had discovered that the Cang Qiong sect no longer existed, and the mountains had been renamed He Hua Mountains.
Despite the name change, the foot of the mountain range remained crowded with laughter and smiles. Children ran around, foolishly playing with their friends, while adults haggled and bartered in the marketplace. While the villages around the bottom of the mountain remained relatively the same, the mountains themselves had changed—to the point that even Shen Yuan barely recognized them.
Gone was the Rainbow Bridge linking the peaks to each other. The beautiful architecture around the peaks, the peak lords’ training halls, the tranquil landscape had all been replaced with humble houses belonging to the common people. All the memories and history that had previously shaped the land had been removed and replaced. Aside from his broken-down bamboo house, there was nothing that resembled the home Shen Yuan was so familiar with.
Shen Yuan leaned against the now fixed table, idly tracing all the cracks on its surface. Unfortunately, because Cang Qiong seemed to have been lost to history, finding anything from the past seemed impossible. He had searched day and night but had found nothing to explain what had happened beyond the meager clues left behind in his house.
He sighed, closing his eyes as he felt the weight of the past and his concerns of the future press down upon him. It seemed he was yet another relic of the past, unable to move on, while everything around him changed. Even his bamboo house was slowly changing—mostly from the highly unnecessary gifts ranging from expensive furniture to protective arrays that Pei Ming, He Xuan, and Shi Qingxuan kept trying to force him to take.
His brow furrowed in irritation as he remembered how he had only returned to the house a couple of days after his ultimately fruitless search around the mountain, and discovered that his entire house was nearly unrecognizable. All of the old, broken-down furniture had been replaced with high-quality pieces made of luxurious materials. When he had first stepped inside, he initially thought he had mistakenly walked into one of Pei Ming’s rooms instead of his small house.
His suspicions that the furniture belonged to Pei Ming had only been confirmed when a pale and frantic Xiao Pei suddenly appeared, announcing that someone had robbed Pei Ming’s palace, completely emptying one of the rooms of its treasures. Shen Yuan had never seen someone go from worried panic to sheer exasperation so fast when Xiao Pei finally took in the new state of Shen Yuan’s house, filled with the “stolen” goods along with a smug-looking Pei Ming lounging in the corner drinking tea by an absurdly gilded table, idly watching the situation as if he wasn’t the cause of the commotion.
Nonetheless, both Shen Yuan and Xiao Pei were not amused with Pei Ming’s antics and proceeded to undo all of Pei Ming’s hard work, returning everything to Pei Ming’s Palace in Heaven despite Pei Ming’s very vocal protests.
Despite being grateful for the lack of annoyance, Shen Yuan still missed Pei Ming, because that was the last time he had seen Pei Ming before the God had to hurry back to Heaven after finding out that Xiao Pei was in trouble. It seemed the protagonist halo was hard at work, with Xie Lian discovering Xiao Pei’s actions of using innocent people’s lives to suppress the negative energy in Ban Yue.
Unfortunately, Pei Ming’s duties and Shen Yuan’s goals were too different, and because of that conflict, they would eventually have to separate. Pei Ming was clearly worried and wanted to help Xiao Pei. However, Shen Yuan could tell that despite his worries and care for Xiao Pei, he was still torn between staying with Shen Yuan or going back to defend Xiao Pei. Shen Yuan knew that if he had told Pei Ming to stay, the other man would definitely have done so, but Shen Yuan could never ask that of him.
He had always counted on Pei Ming to look out for him. Time and time again Pei Ming had shown that he was there for him, no matter what Shen Yuan did or said. He could confidently say that Pei Ming would be the last person to ever abandon him, and because of that, Shen Yuan knew he had to take care of Pei Ming when the man clearly didn’t care for himself. He couldn’t trouble him, much less force him to choose between him and Xiao Pei. He didn’t want Pei Ming to ever regret wronging Xiao Ping because he stayed with him instead of heading back to heaven so he had to go.
Shen Yuan smiled fondly as he reached for the tassel dancing freely on Xin Mo’s hilt. It wasn’t as if he didn’t understand why Pei Ming would be reluctant to leave him alone—especially after everything they had just been through. It would simply be too naive to think that everything would return to normal just because he’d returned. But they still tried—everyone did—despite it all, and he was immeasurably grateful that everyone was willing to forget their past grievances to save their relationship because they all thought he was still worth it.
When they gathered around to fix this sinking ship, it was terrible and everyone was heated but what had to be said was said.
“We are the three tumors, hated by millions and trashed by thousands. If you can’t...If we don’t...” Ling Wen's voice trailed off. Her usual monotone voice turned soft then shaky and finally silent.
There was a moment of stillness, a sense of emptiness as the three sat around each other in the dark, taking in the silences and the fleeting comfort they desperately sought in each other.
The lies and truth have all been uncovered. The wounds are now out in the open, there was nowhere to hide nor could it be ignored any longer.
Ling Wen threw her head back and laughed: “We are the three tumors. A trio of illnesses brought to heaven. A group of three that should be kicked straight to hell and punished each time we shamelessly breathe in their holy presence.”
“Remember, Shi Wudu, all that we have is what we fought for. We crawled out of the filth and seized our way up to the top. We are at the top: the highest-ranked civil god, martial god, and eleme-” Ling Wen paused for a brief moment before sharply cutting herself off. “We can’t stop fighting, not now and not ever.”
“They want us to fall so they can laugh and not only step on us but squish us beneath their feet until we become one with the ground, unable to ever hold our heads up. But we can’t let them have the last laugh. We are three tumors, a stain in heaven that is here to stay.”
“Against the world, we only have each other. If we can’t even trust ourselves then we will truly have no one. By then we will really have nothing, nothing at all.”
“It is us against the world, not us against each other. If we can’t even forgive, support, or understand ourselves, then who are we supposed to entrust our backs to? We don’t have anyone else and you know this. We don’t have this luxury given to others, so Shi Wudu, we won't give up on you, not now and not never but neither can you.”
“You can hide and run from anyone but not us. Never us, do you understand?”
Although Shen Yuan made it crystal clear that he understood what was being said and promised to not disappear on them, Pei Ming and Ling Wen were still reluctant to let him go.
It had taken a lot to convince Pei Ming and Ling Wen that he would be fine without them constantly around, and they had wrangled a set schedule of in-person visits that he could not miss unless he wanted to incur Ling Wen’s wrath. Additionally, he had promised to leave his communication array open at all times in case they need to reach out to him, they would be able to.
“Shui-xiong! You have to respond to me whenever I call.”
“Yes, yes. I will.” Shen Yuan nodded his head and confirmed Pei Ming’s question in what felt like a million times. “I will respond and I will be available if you ever want to meet me.”
“Don’t do anything stupid. I swear you were born to give me headaches.” Ling Wen took a bite out of her cookie as Shen Yuan tried to refute her statement. Unfortunately for him, Ling Wen’s statement was a fact and not at all up for debate. She raised one of her eyebrows, challenging Shen Yuan to come up with a counterargument as she mentally tallied up all the times he screwed up.
It wasn’t long before Shen Yuan wilted under Ling Wen’s stare, but he was able to bounce back quickly by reminding her that he wasn’t the only source of her headaches. “ You can’t tell me that the other gods, especially the civil gods, don’t give you headaches. Ling Wen, I heard all of your complaints and desires to bash their brains into the nearest surface.” Shen Yuan helpfully reminded Ling Wen of all the sleepless nights she had to go through for those ungraceful gods.
Pei Ming let out a chuckle as Shen Yuan continued to paint a picture of a frustrated, tired, and overworked Ling Wen forced to deal with the problems the other gods caused and hear them trash talk about her ability to solve their issues. Truly a never-ending headache of people needing her help but never wanting to give her the credit and constantly trying to diss her.
Ling Wen shot Pei Ming an annoyed look before a small smirk appeared across her face. “You’re right, Shi Wudu. The person who gives me the most trouble is Pei Ming with his endless affairs and the need to taste everything.”
Pei Ming fell silent at Ling Wen’s sudden diss on him. He pointed at himself with wide eyes and looked at Ling Wen like he had been wronged as if he was completely innocent and not at all laughing at her.
Just as Shen Yuan’s lips were about to curl up, thinking that he was clever for removing the spotlight away from himself, Ling Wen suddenly turned to him once again.
“But if you didn't have the urges to jump into every single trouble available and also run away from literally everything then it would lessen my stress by at least a third.”
“Ahhh!! Okay, okay. I will make sure to keep in contact and not wander off my initial task. I promise I won’t unnecessarily enter any conflicts.” Shen Yuan happily agrees, trying to get them to relax and give him a little bit of freedom.
It wasn’t like he wanted to get involved in any conflicts but they tend to find and stick to him. If he had the ability to avoid it, he would avoid it like a plague but he doesn’t so he could only suffer.
Ling Wen got up and prepared to leave with Pei Ming to deal with the situation at hand when she suddenly stopped. She turned towards Shen Yuan and said, “Oh yea what is your password.”
His password. Oh yea, his password, he forgot to change it. Shen Yuan averted his eyes as Pei Ming stared at him, silently reminding him of what his password was and demanding it to be changed.
“I...I need to change it. Give me a moment.”
“No shit you need to change it.” Pei Ming was visibly displeased as Ling Wen had a confused look on her face before shaking her head, ultimately deciding that it wasn’t something she wanted to get involved with nor open past wounds between the two of them.
Only after Shen Yuan changed his password and then once again promised to keep in touch did the two finally trust him enough to return to heaven.
As Pei Ming was returning to Heaven, he turned around and screamed, “Don’t worry I won’t be gone for too long! Pei-xiong knows that Shui-xiong can’t handle being left waiting and will wilt without quality company.”
Shen Yuan: “I only need Ling Wen! Give me a refund for this service and a cancelation.”
“It is an honor to be in my presence. You don’t know how many people want to enter my line of sight but can’t. Also as a service on the market, I am expensive and such priceless services are non-refundable and non-exchangeable. You are stuck with me.”
“That is such a scam! Also, your service is overpriced if it isn’t free. You have ten thousand people around your arms at all times, basically a free for all so what do you mean priceless? ”
“You are just jealous everyone flocks to me due to my overwhelming charismatic charms. But you don’t need to be afraid of my service fee becoming too expensive for you to afford, I can offer discounts for you. There is always a space for you.”
Shen Yuan laughed: "I am too broke to waste money on trash."
"Don't worry, your Pei-xiong is willing to be charitable and help the helpless and needy. Shui-xiong open your hand and accept donation."
"Scram! Get lost!"
Ling Wen scoffed at Shen Yuan and Pei Ming’s antics. With an unamused look on her face, Ling Wen grabbed Pei Ming arms.
“The faster we return to heaven and finish, the faster we can reunite.” Ling Wen then turned to Shen Yuan one last time. “Remember to keep in touch at all times.”
Shen Yuan of course promised, not thinking much of it at the time, but he did have some regrets now that he was inundated with messages at all hours.
After Pei Ming and Ling Wen left him to return to heaven, Shen Yuan didn’t even have time to miss either of them since they freaking opened something like a group chat in his communication array. With their constantly checking upon him, it felt like they were constantly around him instead of a long-distance relationship.
Only at night did they leave him alone, expecting him to sleep and rest after all of the excitement from the day dies down but it was during nighttime when he needed them the most.
The moon has long risen high up in the air yet the bitterness and negative thoughts remain stubborn in his mind, refusing to leave him alone. The only relief he got from all the swirling thoughts was the sound of the wind loudly fighting through the streets. Shen Yuan pulled the sleeves of Luo Binghe’s outer robe and tugged it closer to himself in a fruitless attempt to seek comfort.
Before when he was still a god and even after when he got demoted, it was a struggle to not fall asleep with tiredness wearing him down and the endless struggle of living yet now when he wants to sleep and relax, he couldn’t.
Shen Yuan stretched his leg out, tossing grace out the window as he looked at the now almost empty house. It was getting harder and harder to stop thinking of him and remembering the bittersweet memories.
He Xuan tried to restore everything and Shi Qingxuan even pulled in the Earth Master, Ming Yi in an attempt to fix everything when he made it clear that he didn’t want anything to be replaced but even so there were a lot of things that couldn’t be saved because it was either too broken or unfixable.
Everything was changing and there was nothing that could be done about it. Shen Yuan let out a small bitter chuckle at the reminder of how empty everything has become. He never thought that there would be a possibility of a reunion with Luo Binghe, Shang Qinghua, and the other peak lords after he transmigrated into Shi Wudu but now that he realized that the two stories were connected and that it was possible, he felt even more bitter.
Shen Yuan slowly walked to the door, keeping his eyes down as he avoided the squeaky floors. Even though he told everyone that he was going to be fine and even urged them to leave because he was once a god and knew how busy it could get but despite all of his excuses, He Xuan refused to leave.
He Xuan claimed that there were reasons why he had underlings. They were supposed to handle all of the unimportant things as he focused on the important ones but he did nothing besides trailing after him during all hours.
Shen Yuan had to pretend that he was sleeping to be alone since they shared a room since he refused to allow Luo Binghe’s room to be touched or altered in any way. He could probably talk to He Xuan but he didn’t want to bother him with his problem, especially since the problems are internal and no one else could help. If they can’t help, Shen Yuan would rather them not know instead of making them feel bad. Thus every night, he would sneak away after failing to fall asleep and think of fruitless ways to get rid of his unwanted thoughts.
Shen Yuan pushed open the door, he pulled the robe closer to himself as he braced himself against the angry winds. The moment he stepped into the newly polished stone pavement outside of his house, the wind gently swirled around him, dancing and accompanying him with each step he took.
When he closed his eyes, he could also hear the soft lullaby the wind made when it moved alongside him. It probably wasn’t intended but the soft noise created by the wind was therapeutic and relaxing. It felt like an invisible person was looking out for him and walking beside him on this lonely night as he quietly made his way down the mountain, following an invisible pull that guided his journey.
Notes:
Broke chapter 21 into two. The second part will have the long awaited Jun Wu's point of view and will be uploaded sometime in the future.
Also please excuse any mistakes, my writing isn't the best (still trying to improve) and my beta has became too busy with life and is unable to continue working on this story.
Thank you for your patience and understanding, I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
Chapter 22: Can't Let You Go
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan stopped when he noticed something far away, there was a silhouette sitting gracefully under a tree with their head tilted up, staring into the starry night.
The surrounding wind started to pick up, throwing a temper tantrum, howling and roaring as it mercilessly ransacked the crops and slammed against trees, stripping the land and branches bare.
Shen Yuan’s hair and robes started floating but instead of being forceful, the wind lightly brushed against Shen Yuan’s cheeks- agitated and impatient but nonetheless, gentle.
A tug here and there, trying to coax him away but the stranger in the dark-barely outlined by the full moon, held Shen Yuan captivated. His eyes couldn’t move away and his foot couldn’t help but follow the pull towards him.
The stranger’s hair danced in the air and their robes swirling around them. Amongst the chaos, they remained unaffected as they silently watched the moon as if it was something fascinating and unique. Besides the gorgeous moon, shining high above the night sky, there was nothing else that could enter their eyes.
It was a strange sense of calmness as if it was staged and prepared long ago–with the wind going insane but the two of them remained unaffected and unharmed.
There was an invisible barrier between the two as the wind rapidly moved from right to left, giving off a loud and aggressive sound, a warning. To whom, it was unknown.
Going against the signs, Shen Yuan took a step forward, his eyes subconsciously closed as he braced himself but contrary to his belief, nothing happened.
The wind suddenly and almost helplessly eased up.
In the face of Shen Yuan’s pursuit, it was pathetically unable to block him, it couldn’t harm him, much less move him. Taking its anger and its inability against the surrounding areas--picking up heavy objects and slamming them against anything it could. Very quickly, the surrounding areas were flattened.
The warning was clear but so was the pull.
The distance between him and the stranger was shrinking but the stranger had not moved. They remained idly sitting there, waiting for him to come closer just waiting there without doing anything.
Shen Yuan pulled his robes closer to his chest as the wind caught on the edges of his robes, gently pulling him back. As Shen Yuan continued, Xin Mo started whining. It tugged Shen Yuan forward, hurrying him to the finish line but then backward, unwilling to let him move any closer as if it was playing a game of tug of war.
As Shen Yuan continued forward, he could see the long ink-black hair and a red outer robe with a thin red veil, lightly covering his face.
The stranger stood there and gently caressed the sword hanging by his waist.
Shen Yuan squinted his eyes, his figure looked vaguely familiar, but the longer he looked, the more uneasy he began to feel.
There was something about this person that didn’t sit right with him but he couldn’t pinpoint it and the sense of distress only increased the closer he got. But even so, he continued forward until he suddenly stopped.
Both of his feet planted firmly on the ground as Xin Mo snuggled and rubbed against his waist, comforting him but also simultaneously pushing against him, urging him to move forward.
But he couldn’t continue anymore and with the stranger standing right in front of him in full view, he just knew who he was.
It was illogical but somehow he had a feeling, a gut instinct that the stranger was someone he knew and not just someone but the person he least wanted to see; Jun Wu.
The stranger lowered his head and stared straight at Shen Yuan, his slender hands reached up and slowly lifted the red veil. Under the red veil was a pale face with light makeup on and rosy red lips stretched out into a smile.
That smiling face staring at him, dressed in wedding robes paired with perfect makeup was himself. It was his corpse waiting for him, as he beckoned him forwards with a fake gentle smile pasted on his face, and his eyes curved upwards.
Of course, Jun Wu had to screw him over and play with his corpse-like it was nothing but a puppet for him to play around with, forever taunting him and not only that but shamelessly put on a show right in front of him.
Jun Wu’s eyes slowly looked at Xin Mo before he turned his attention to Xiu Ya. His lips curled into a slight smirk as he carelessly rubbed his fingers against Xiu Ya’s surface, lightly tracing the cracks. He held it up against his face, giving it a light kiss before tilting it and staring at his reflection.
Xin Mo who has been rowdy throughout the journey suddenly stopped moving as Jun Wu continued carelessly and almost intimately with a sense of familiarity and ownership, fooled around Xiu Ya.
Shen Yuan hasn’t fully processed the situation to think of how to act but Xin Mo was already forcing itself out of its sheath and releasing its demonic energy. It was angry, no that wasn't correct, it was enraged and oozing blood lust.
It wanted to fight and that urge slowly infiltrated Shen Yuan’s mind and before he noticed his hands were already on Xin Mo’s hilt. The smart thing to do would be to stop, with his current strength and with how everything was set up, the only possible outcome was losing but Xin Mo was stubborn and relentless and Shen Yuan was tired, he was so tired so he followed along and pulled Xin Mo out, granting its wishes.
Shen Yuan rushed towards Jun Wu with his sword swinging, aiming at his neck.
Jun Wu continued to smile, not taking Shen Yuan seriously. He lifted Xiu Ya and blocked Shen Yuan’s attack with the familiarity of someone who was used to using the sword.
“Do you like my sword?” Jun Wu lightly chuckled, taking the time to look at his reflection before throwing Shen Yuan off with a swing with a sense of ease.
Shen Yuan was thrown back, quickly turned his body, and lightly landed with the additional support from the wind. After being thrown off and treated like a misbehaving child, Xin Mo’s displeasure only increased and in a fit of rage at the amount of disrespect being shown, it released an abundant amount of negative energy all aimed at Jun Wu.
But despite such hostility from Xin Mo, Jun Wu only looked at it with desire in his eyes as he traced his tongue along his lips, bracing himself for the incoming attack.
Shen Yuan’s grip on Xin Mo tightened as he slashed his sword from a distance; with his godhood removed and with a freshly repaired soul, there wasn’t much spiritual energy or power in him. It couldn’t be considered a battle with how one-sided it was.
Jun Wu stood there not bothering to dodge such petty attacks.
The beautiful red outer robe was slashed open but before Shen Yuan could celebrate, he suddenly loosened his hold on Xin Mo and buckled down, clenching his abdomen in pain.
“Doesn’t it hurt? Why are you always hurting yourself?” Jun Wu took his time and slowly walked forward. His tone was gentle and easy as he continued. “Can’t you be nicer to yourself or is it because you just like the pain.”
“You do, don’t you? You were always happier after being inflicted with pain compared to pleasure. You have been conditioned with such perversion.”
Jun Wu in the middle of his speech suddenly charged forward and Shen Yuan quickly picked up Xin Mo but was pushed back and pinned against the tree.
With Shen Yuan’s back firmly pressed against the tree, Jun Wu loomed over him, and much like how an adult would chastise a misbehaving child, he said, “I wonder who taught you such poor sword skills but more importantly, don’t you remember that Elemental Gods are only good at long distance and are at a disadvantage in close combat?”
“Little Tyrant, why can’t you behave yourself. Why can’t you guys just behave yourselves, surrender instead of making up fruitless lies, or do you call it white lies? Such lies help no one so I will tear it down for you.” Jun Wu sneered.
Shen Yuan raised his hands, preparing to push him away. He didn’t want to continue hearing the nonsense Jun Wu was saying but that wasn’t up to him. Jun Wu stopped his intention; using Xiu Ya, he pinned Shen Yuan’s hands against the tree, preventing any further disobedient actions.
Jun Wu looked down at Shen Yuan with delight in his eyes and all Shen Yuan could do was allow himself to be once again put on full display and be eyed down like a piece of meat placed in front of a starving man. It was degrading and disgusting but such humiliation wasn’t enough.
Jun Wu grabbed Shen Yuan’s chin and lifted his face, forcing him to look him in the eye.
“Why do you look so disgusted? This is your body.” Jun Wu whispered and with each word, he leaned closer to Shen Yuan, mocking his inability to defend himself once again.
He continued to coo at him as one would towards a scared kitten before groping and touching him however he pleased. To him, Shen Yuan was just a beautiful doll to be used and put on display on the palms of his hands, forever trapped in his hold.
Shen Yuan closed his eyes as he felt a sudden violent wind coming in his direction, forcing Jun Wu to step back and part ways.
Once Jun Wu was away, the violent wind turned gentle as it circled Shen Yuan like a protective shield, keeping Jun Wu away from him but not hurting him either. Jun Wu and Shen Yuan remained in a stalemate with Shen Yuan pushing his impaled hands forward, trying to forcefully free himself.
You Are Not Allowed To Leave ME
Jun Wu laughed to himself, thoroughly entertained. He missed having Shen Qingqiu around, missed his company but playing around like this was also quite fun. Shen Qingqiu had this enticing look on his face whenever he was enraged or defensive, the more his emotions got to him, the more excited Jun Wu felt.
It was cute, much like a hissing kitten, trying to show off his ferociousness when in reality, he was nothing more than a cute ball of fur with his claws removed. In the end, regardless of how unwilling he was, he could do nothing but concede and accept whatever was thrown at him.
A chained beauty with all of the delightful pleasures it provides. A loving voice that sings throughout the night as he slowly devours him. It was true, it wasn’t a lie, a life with him was always fun and there was never once a dull moment.
Watching him struggle against the world as he tried to keep his sanity and tattered pride intact when he could just turn to him was amusing at best and irritating at worst. The way he pretended to be fine, wearing his mask in front of others trying to pull everyone together as he sat alone in the dark and cut himself behind their backs.
It was the best offering anyone could offer a god, and truly, who else could appreciate this gift as he could?
They both were liars, with their masks securely on their faces, acting around others while their real selves remained firmly hidden. Making a fool of others as they pretend to be almighty when in reality they were both horribly broken inside. The stage set four thousand years ago continued but he hoped that other actors beside themselves would return to the stage and has often wondered how their reaction would be towards this new Shen Qingqiu.
The Shen Qingqiu that everyone once loved, was his and his alone.
Jun Wu reached down and touched the scars that ran down his arms with a fond smile. He remembered kissing all of the scars on Shen Qingqiu’s skin, using his tongue to lap up and smear his blood.
Shen Qingqiu at that time wouldn’t stop trembling, trying to move his body away each time the knife went down but nonetheless, the engraving turned out perfect and once he was tired out, he would lay there and watch emotionlessly.
Each and every engraving was a masterpiece of its own. An eternal reminder of who he belonged to, proof of Jun Wu’s ownership, and with that Shen Qingqiu became even more beautiful.
And yet Shen Qingqiu was ungrateful and still believed that he could leave as if he wasn’t promised to him and the permanent ownership carved into his body didn’t exist.
He was disobedient to the core, like a feral cat that needs to be taught and trained. But then again, Jun Wu never minded doling out punishment, especially with such an amusing entertainer.
Ripping him apart and shoving the pieces back, the sound of him breaking and forcefully repaired was the most beautiful music one could ever hope to hear.
But also making Shen Qingqiu believe that he had the chance to leave before grabbing both of his arms and pinning him down was also amusing as he watched his enraged look on his face as he tried to struggle against his hold, knowing fully well that there was no one there to save him nor did he have the ability to leave yet refusing to submit.
They both knew there was only one winner in this game they played and that person was only going to be Jun Wu. No matter what Shen Qingqiu did or who he ran to, he would always be running on the palms of his hands. He could never escape and it was only a matter of time before he came running back. Whether he was scared, upset, or in love with him, as long as he thinks of him, it would bring Jun Wu immense happiness.
Shen Qingqiu also knew this but both of them knew that it didn’t matter; no matter what happened and no matter how long time has passed, he would never be able to stop thinking of him.
The 800 years' worth of memories they spent together could never be erased in this lifetime, it has long become an irreplaceable memory.
Whether Shen Qingqiu is sleeping or awake, there will always be a spot for him permanently stuck in his mind. A spot mentally and emotionally belonging to him. Just for that alone, regardless of whether Shen Qingqiu kills or leaves him, Jun Wu would always be the winner.
Shen Qingqiu would never win and they both know this.
Jun Wu’s eyes once again darted to the sword in Shen Qingqiu’s hands. Of course, it didn’t have to be like that. There could be more than one winner. With that sword, they can rip through dimensions and create a world that could truly accept them and their flaws, away from their mistakes and disgusting history, and return to the good old days. It can be used to create a picture-perfect world for them. A world where they can support each other through harsh and peaceful times like it was meant to be.
And maybe then Jun Wu would find it in himself and not punish him for trying to leave with someone else.
In the corner of his eyes, Jun Wu watched as He Xuan charged towards them with the wind under his feet pushing him forward. Jun Wu ignored He Xuan and returned his attention to Shen Qingqiu.
With a smile and in a gentle voice Jun Wu asked, “Did he taste good?”
Shen Qingqiu stood there holding his bleeding hands, unable to process what Jun Wu meant. Looking at his dumbfounded appearance, Jun Wu’s smile widened as he continued, “He should have tasted good, after all, he was explicitly waiting for you for so long and I am so happy that he finally got his wish.”
Shen Qingqiu’s eyes widened in disbelief before turning enraged. Xin Mo was shaking and against Shen Qingqiu’s white cheeks, black veins started appearing.
Jun Wu licked his lips. Xin Mo was difficult to control and with Shen Qingqiu's emotions getting the best of him, Xin Mo was slowly taking over and corrupting his mind.
“You fucking asshole!” Like all Cang Qiong Mountain Gods, Luo Binghe was a sore topic, and as predicted Shen Qingqiu pushed himself up and grabbed Xin Mo, getting ready to attack.
It was just getting to the fun part when He Xuan had to get himself involved.
He Xuan used his wind ability and lifted Shen Qingqiu in the air, stopping his attack and gently moving him closer to himself before dropping him into his arms and setting him down far away.
“You can’t hurt him. If you hurt him, you will just hurt yourself.” He Xuan reminded Shen Qingqiu about the arrays on his skin, linking the body to the soul. A painful reminder that he couldn’t hurt his captor, that he could only hurt himself.
No matter what Shen Qingqiu does, the person who would get hurt in the end would always be him.
With He Xuan pulling Shen Qingqiu back, Jun Wu continued to taunt. “That’s right, you can’t do anything. Even if you stab this body a thousand times I won’t feel anything, only you get the joy of feeling the pain.” Jun Wu reached up and grabbed his own throat, squeezing it until his knuckles turned white.
Shen Qingqiu's hold on Xin Mo weakened until he ultimately dropped it and clawed at his own throat. His face scrunched up in pain as he tried to get rid of the invisible pressure.
He Xuan let out a burst of wind towards Jun Wu but it was a sorry excuse of an attack. The wind felt more like a gentle nudge, coaxing him to leave. There was no way such an attack would ever be efficient, not when the attacker himself was afraid of going too hard.
While Jun Wu could continue to toy with them, he decided not to. Jun Wu released his hold and gave mercy to Shen Qingqiu, allowing him to get air into his lungs.
Shen Qingqiu started coughing and his eyes glittered with tears. Jun Wu waited for Shen Qingqiu’s attention before licking his lips and pulling out a bunch of books and throwing them to the ground.
“After Shang Qinghua made a last-ditch attempt to hide these, he ran to the demon realm.” Jun Wu looked at the books with disgust before turning around and transporting himself again, leaving behind nothing but smoke and red spider lilies.
They will meet again, after all, it was only right for a pet to return to its owner.
Notes:
Wanted to get this chapter out for New Year.
Happy New Years everyone!!!
Chapter 23: When In Doubt, Wind Is There To String Water Back In Action
Notes:
Quick Recap: Last chapter Jun Wu came and harassed SY using his corpse and hinted that SQH ran to the demonic realm. PM and LW are currently dealing with Xiao Pei's issue and are stuck in heaven for the time being.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan reached up and lightly touched his neck–tracing the marking left behind, even without applying much pressure, it brought a stinging sensation.
A hand abruptly grabbed Shen Yuan’s wrist, stopping his movement–pulling his wandering hands away. Not long after, there was a cooling sensation covering the sensitive and red surface.
A warm hand grabbed his wrist, a firm chest pressed against him and another hand pressed firmly against his back, caging him in and locking him in place, sending an abundance of spiritual energy into his body.
The smoothing energy quickly seeped in, gently penetrating all the way down to his soul much like a warm blanket wrapped around him, easing the pain away.
Cocooned within this warmth, Shen Yuan sluggishly opened his eyes, blinking multiple times before furiously shaking his head, forcing himself to snap back to reality. He gripped Xin Mo and scrambled to ground himself.
He Xuan stood beside him, his hands slowly moving away as he silently watched him pull himself together much like a baby trying to learn how to walk for the first time.
Shen Yuan forced an awkward cough before giving He Xuan an apologetic look: “Many thanks. Sorry for dragging you into this.”
Instead of replying, He Xuan remained silent. His eyes turned cold and his lips thinned out into a straight line, eyebrows furrowed as he took in Shen Yuan’s appearance before focusing on his slim neck. Against the white canvas, there was a large red marking left behind, clearly displaying five slim digits, stubbornly refusing to disappear even with the increase of spiritual energy.
His hands hovered over Shen Yuan’s neck before ultimately dropping it and reaching into his pouch, grabbing a small white porcelain bottle. He poured a small amount of liquid onto the tip of his finger and then grabbed Shen Yuan’s waist with his other hand, pulling him in once more.
He Xuan lifted his medicine-coated finger and hovered over Shen Yuan’s neck.
Shen Yuan looked at He Xuan and the medicine in his hands with a sigh. Even though he has fallen–his abilities and dignity stripped away, he hasn’t reached the point of needing medicine on small wounds much less for marking left behind by strangulation. It wasn’t bleeding and after the spiritual energy poured into him, the pain was barely noticeable–a light throb at most.
He wasn’t that delicate or weak.
He wasn’t….
Was he?
Shen Yuan averted his eyes, his hands slowly moving towards He Xuan’s, preparing to grab the medicine bottle but then stopped–both hands dropped, left dangling by his side.
He Xuan glances at Shen Yuan’s empty hands before rubbing the ointment, warming it up and then lightly, ever so lightly applying the medicine on Shen Yuan’s neck–his touch ever so fleeing.
It was such a useless thing to do, a complete waste of energy and yet He Xuan spent his time and attention to make sure everything was gently covered.
Not knowing what to do, Shen Yuan turned his attention to Xiu Ya.
Amongst the books scattered on the ground, Xiu Ya struggled to shine, it trembled and wiggled against the dirt, creating a cracking sound–wanting to illuminate yet too broken to.
Shen Yuan picked Xiu Ya up the moment He Xuan was finished and rubbed the hilt as it vibrated with excitement. The normally elegant sword was marred with imperfection. What was broken can be fixed but will never return to the original form–never as beautiful.
It was such a shame that something so beautiful and powerful ended up like this because of him.
Shen Yuan placed Xiu Ya right next to Xin Mo and the two swords quickly stuck together like two pieces of a whole, one refusing to release the other while the other was just as unwilling to leave its embrace. With the two swords tightly snuggled against one another, Shen Yuan turned his attention back toward the books.
The books thrown on the ground were old but well preserved–a small fragile piece of history, once held in the hands of a monster. They were coated with strong spiritual energy–protecting it yet staining it with the stench of possessiveness and obsession.
With the owner long gone, abandoned, and left behind, although he was unfortunately not the rightful owner, at the very least he wasn’t some unknown stranger.
Shen Yuan knelt down and reached for the books.
Knowing Shang Qinghua, it was probably a diary or some poorly written stories, littered with plot holes left for him to fix and shit on or straight-up porn.
Shen Yuan could imagine Shang Qinghua, that snake, running and grabbing his shitty books as the world comes crumbling down just to save his own skin and wandering eyes from coming across and seeing this abomination of a novel.
Shen Yuan took the time to run his fingers down the spine–feeling all the cracks and marks, before opening the book and letting his eyes feast on the pages.
With each page he flipped, he could hear the beating of his heart, his palms became clammy with sweat; it wasn’t what he expected from Shang Qinghua but then again when has anything followed his expectations.
Each page was filled with rich descriptions of the extensive history and foundation of Cang Qiong Mountain left behind from generations of hard work. The pain they felt and the blood they shed before they finally built a safe haven for themselves and the future generations.
One of the many precious treasures that made Cang Qiong Mountain what it was and these so-called treasures they fought so hard to protect, were thrown to the ground without an ounce of concern.
Now it was in his dirty hands,
Shen Yuan’s veins protruded as he tightly gripped the book, slightly crumbling what was once considered priceless. He knew it was inevitable, he knew, and yet it still shocked him to the very core.
Everything that rises will one day fall, disappear, or be replaced, and yet despite knowing that, Shen Yuan felt that this pill was far too difficult to swallow.
Great and powerful dynasties will rise and make history before time takes its course and dismantle it for the next replacement. An ongoing and never-ending cycle and yet, here he was in disbelief.
He never would have expected that it would be his generation that led to this fall with how powerful and great everyone was.
Reading it and viewing it as characters in a story was so different compared to being in it–a part of something and getting to know them more than just surface level.
Yes, Shen Yuan knew Cang Qiong Mountain was bound to fall much earlier as it was prewritten and destined and he might have cheered for it as he ignorantly read on but now it was different. Knowing the Peak Lords the way he does, he genuinely and naively thought they were invincible as long as Luo Binghe the protagonist didn’t demolish them, after all they were strong.
There was Liu Qingge who was always unbending and strong. He would rather break than bend, headstrong and stubborn to the very core.
Never once did Shen Yuan see him give up, no matter how much or how hard he was beaten down, his back was always straight and powerful.
Yue Qingyuan, the one everyone feared and respected, faced any difficulties with complete authority with his broad shoulders that are meant to shoulder everything and anyone.
The genius healer, Mu Qingfang who has never killed anyone but also never had a single person die in his watch. It was a well-known fact that as long as you were in his presence, you would never die.
Then there was Shang Qinghua who had Mobei Jun’s strong backing but more importantly the freaking author with all of his foresight and knowledge of the world he created. He was supposed to know the ins and outs of his creation.
How can he….
How can they be the reason why Cang Qiong Mountain fell?
How could we…
He Xuan lightly tugged at the book, breaking Shen Yuan out of his daze. He looked straight at him and asked, “What do you want to do?” From the tone of his voice, he already knew what Shen Yuan wanted to do and was just seeking confirmation.
“Go to the demon realm.” It was exactly what Jun Wu wanted but other than being a pawn in this sadistic game of his, there was nothing else he could do.
“It would be difficult to get into the demon realm. The Heavenly Emperor Jun Wu already sealed all the entries long ago so finding a crack would be difficult.”
“This sword can rip open dimensions. It can even cut through different worlds so creating a portal between the mortal realm and the demons should be easy.” Xin Mo tilted upwards when Shen Yuan lightly tapped it.
“The demon realm hasn’t been explored for a long time ever since Jun Wu sealed the place.” He Xuan paused for a moment, thinking of the books he researched before continuing. “It is dangerous, probably a trap set by whoever is controlling your body.”
“Yea but even so I--”
“If you really want to go then I will accompany you.” He Xuan cut in. There wasn’t a single pause in his words, nor was there any doubt or hesitation in his voice despite his own warning.
It wasn’t a request nor was it a question but a statement, regardless of whether Shen Yuan agrees or disagrees, He Xuan will be following behind him like a shadow he can’t shake off.
Shen Yuan silently nodded, there was nothing he could say and despite it all, he strangely didn’t feel upset. In fact, despite the disrespect, there was a strange warm fuzzy feeling at the bottom of his stomach.
With Jun Wu chasing after him and the self-made hole he dug for himself, Shen Yuan was prepared to face everything alone. He was unwilling to implicate others but with He Xuan it felt different. He didn’t understand or explain why but it just felt different.
Perhaps because unlike anyone else, their fate was intertwined the moment he stepped foot into this world, perhaps because he felt no obligation or perhaps because he didn’t care enough about him to worry but r egardless of the reason, he knew he was a horrible person for not caring that it might bring him trouble and wanting to depend on him regardless of it.
Before He Xuan made his stand, Shen Yuan had been prepared to work by himself and refused his offer but he actually didn’t want to, it was just the correct thing to do. Now that he didn’t have to, it felt exhilarating, much a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.
He Xuan was the one who offered and he was the perfect person to work alongside him–water and wind naturally complemented each other.
After his demotion, he was constantly low on spiritual energy, there was never enough and He Xuan was much like a powerful power bank–with a mere touch, he could be fully charged from zero to a hundred in an instant. He Xuan’s spiritual energy felt the smoothest and delivered the quickest, filling the void inside of him with nothing but warmth.
If someone told Shen Yuan that he will be going to the demon realm with He Xuan of all people as Shi Wudu, he would never in a million years believe them, and yet here he was.
It was rather ironic how he always ended up turning towards the person who was fated to kill him–first, it was Luo Binghe and now it was He Xuan.
Why was it always the people whose life fate wanted him to ruin that ends up staying by his side in dangerous situations where life or death couldn’t be guaranteed? It's such a sick joke.
Shen Yuan grabbed Xin Mo, allowing the demonic energy to fill him up as he braced himself before separating the sticky Xin Mo from Xiu Ya and out of his sheath. He slashed against the air, creating a portal to the demonic realm.
Shen Yuan could feel the heat coming out of the portal and the undeniable foul stench of iron flowing out.
From the opening, Shen Yuan could feel the demonic energy and see the burning hot sand and the light pink sky.
It was meant to be a place where only the strong thrived while the weaklings are treated worse than the dirt beneath someone’s shoe.
Without looking back, Shen Yuan and He Xuan glanced at each other before stepping through and embracing the unknown, hand in hand.
Notes:
This chapter is on the shorter side but for a quick summary SY is currently facing the reality that CQM has fallen and that it was his generation and under their leadership that ended it all. HX has forcefully "offered" his assistance and now SY and HX are heading to the Demon Realm.
I hope this chapter was enjoyable. To be completely honest my brain is currently split on the direction of this story. Part of me want to make this story WAY darker than it current is and have SY SNAP and not in the way people probably expect. The other half believe that I should keep it simple and go with the original plan. My brain can't stop wandering and coming up with different scenarios.
Also here is some SQH and SY crack that WON'T fit in this story but imagine, SQH meeting SY after SY got demoted and got roped into helping him. Together they take, "there is no such thing as bad press" and "You gotta do what you gotta do." a little too hard in an attempt to scam, I mean crawl their way back to heaven.
SQH: "I mean why can't they just worship you as the god of bankruptcy. I mean people worship the Thunder Master to stay away from them, why can't they worship you to NOT be bankrupted? We just need to do some.. you know"
SY: "You are being ridiculous. We can't rob the poor and weak."
SQH: "There is literally no one that is poorer than us. Your reputation is already shitty anyways so just fuck it. You also just scammed me so don't even talk about morals because you have none."
SY: "That was an offering to a god, something you should be honored about."
SQH:"BRO....You can't say that with a straight face, that was straight up daylight robbery and not figuratively but literally."
A few moments later
SQH and SY in hiding.
SY: How would we know he would suddenly ascend, this is bullshit.
SQH: He just ascended, he is a newbie. Come on SY, you were one of the top dogs. That guy, you can easily handle him.
SY: BRO, a newbie at least has beginner armor, I am basically naked. Absolutely not.
Chapter 24: A God In A Cave
Notes:
Quick recap: JW hinted that SQH ran to the demonic realm. SY already came to terms that CQM has fallen. HX and SY went to the demonic realm to find something.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan could feel small grains of sand digging into his soft skin like bullet shots rapidly being fired. The harshness of the wind felt hot and humid as it tugged and yanked at his clothes.
Just by the environment in itself, no wonder there wasn't even an ounce of green in this vast land of darkness-it was far too harsh and unforgiving.
Shen Yuan held his hands up, shielding his face while attempting to pierce through and see the surroundings-it was hazy at best and indistinguishable at worst.
The tassel on his person started to shine before it dimmed once again, returning to its original state as another burst of wind rushed forward beside him, shielding him.
When Shen Yuan turned his head, He Xuan was standing next to him with his back straight and one arm raised. His sleeves were slightly pushed back, exposing his muscular arms and veins protruding out.
His wind roared out-staking a claim and a warning. It twirled around them, swallowing the rocks and furiously battling against the environment around them.
A fierce battle, but strangely it felt more like watching a movie instead of living in it. Shen Yuan could see what was happening right in front of him but he was isolated and disassociated from the situation at hand.
There was a battle happening but all he could feel was a light wind blowing in his direction-cooling him down and embracing him carefully.
It was a complete waste of energy and effort.
"He Xuan! Don't use your spiritual energy, it's such a waste." Shen Yuan snapped as he tugged at He Xuan's sleeves, grabbing his attention.
He Xuan turned to look at Shen Yuan, his face showed a sense of unwillingness and displeasure much like a child looking for praise but got reprimanded instead.
Shen Yuan released He Xuan's sleeves. He took off his tassel and placed it in his hand before grabbing He Xuan's hand.
There was no need to use more effort when there is an easier way to do things. Using an item to brute force their way through was not only easier but also less tiring than using their own abilities.
The tassel, thanks to Ling Wen and Pei Ming taking extra precaution, was filled with spiritual energy as they took extreme measures and painstakingly improved it.
It was unbelievable how Ling Wen's paranoid self and Pei Ming's protectiveness paid off.
Shen Yuan was sure that protecting He Xuan wasn't part of the intended use with the animosity between Pei Ming and He Xuan but it had to be done.
At first, he thought it would be weird, holding hands with something in between the two of them but strangely, the presence of it was relatively small.
Despite the tassel being cool to the touch and large in size, Shen Yuan couldn't help but be hyper-focused on the warmth from He Xuan's hand and his presence next to him.
Even though He Xuan hasn't said anything regarding this sudden intimate action, Shen Yuan couldn’t help but feel a sense of unease. He could feel He Xuan’s eyes on him, carefully watching his every expression and movement. It felt like millions of cameras focusing on him--placing him under high investigation, anything he does will and can be seen, there is nothing he can hide.
“Just bear with it, we just need to hold hands for a bit.” Shen Yuan’s eyes darted towards their intertwined hands before looking forward. He walked ahead of He Xuan, pulling him forward.
“The tassel is only intended for one person but if we both hold it together, it not only protects us after activation but also can conceal both of our presence.”
“I don’t mind.” He Xuan quickened his pace to walk beside Shen Yuan. He wiggled his fingers and fixed their hold--making it more comfortable and secure.
In a fond tone, He Xuan said, "Less likely to be separated." before giving a small smirk and continuing, "Unlikely for you to suddenly slip away without a trace again. This time, I want to make sure I am with you."
“Sorry for leaving without saying anything.” Shen Yuan had a feeling that apologizing and disappointing others was sadly becoming a norm.
To be completely honest, Shen Yuan didn't expect He Xuan to remember who he was, with their first encounter so insignificant, for he has minimized his existence as much as possible.
He didn’t switch his fate nor did he ruin his life, his contribution was close to nothing, and yet time and time again, He Xuan forced him to acknowledge that he was remembered
Every meeting after the first was him running away and embarrassing himself; their encounters weren't worth mentioning. The time they spent together in the grand scheme of things, was pitifully short to none; a single blink and everything was over.
He Xuan and Shen Yuan were meant to be perpendicular lines-only meetings once before going two separate distances, forever missing each other. That was what he hoped and yet for some reason, despite how brief it was, He Xuan remembered, and strangely, whenever they met, there was a piece dedicated to him in the background as if he was forcing himself to leave a spot for him in his life.
As the one at fault, Shen Yuan felt an immense sense of guilt.
He Xuan remained silent, he didn't accept or reject the apology. He simply didn't recognize it, allowing the apology to be carried away by the wind.
Deep down they both knew, He Xuan didn't need or want this apology but Shen Yuan needed it-saying it gave him a sense of accountability and relinquished a bit of that guilt trapped deep within him.
He Xuan was the victim but maybe because of his stupidity, he didn't mind getting hurt or wasn't capable of holding anything against him. Perhaps like a child, he could forget the hurt and still look forward to their next meeting. Even after knowing how hurt he would feel afterward, the anticipation never went away.
Don't Leave Me
He Xuan didn't need any apologies because he didn't want to hold anything against him or was just simply incapable of doing so. If there was no grudge then there wasn't a need for an apology.
Saying things like "Thank you" and "Sorry", how foreign is that. They didn't need that separation, so between the two of them, there was no need for it.
He didn't want him to feel guilty for using him, because he was more than willing to be used but all he asked was not to be thrown away or avoided.
He didn't know Shi Wudu's reasons or explanations, he wanted to know but at the same time, he dreaded it.
Looking at the small red and scrunched-up face next to him, He Xuan didn't know what he should do. He couldn't force an answer nor did he want to go behind Shi Wudu's back but regardless of what happened, he only hoped that this time he of all people wouldn't be left behind.
As Shi Wudu slips away like sand between his fingers, He Xuan knew he had to hold on to whatever he could.
Anything was better than nothing.
To He Xuan, meeting Shi Wudu and loving him was the best thing that happened in his life.
No words could ever describe this feeling and no one could take it away.
Open Up
With the support from the tassel, Shen Yuan and He Xuan were able to progress in their journey.
However, compared to his usual journey with Pei Ming, who was extroverted and loved to mess with him and joke around, this journey was more silent and peaceful. With Pei Ming, it always felt like anything could happen and whatever it was, it would be exciting and something they would struggle with but at the very end, laugh as Ling Wen scolds them.
He Xuan was different, with him, there was a sense of calmness and while Shen Yuan couldn't put it into words, he knew he felt safe and a sense of peace as if he was suddenly in this safe zone which he knew didn't exist.
This silence continued until it was suddenly broken.
He Xuan turned to him and asked, “Best novel?”
“Huh?”
“Best novel.” He Xuan repeated.
“Proud Immortal Demon Way.” Shen Yuan mindlessly responded. The moment that cursed title slipped between his lips and processed in his mind, he instantly regretted it.
“It's not the best. It’s very bad. It's…it’s.” Shen Yuan quickly tried to take back his answer but he couldn’t say his usual rant. There was something stuck in his throat and a strong sense of distress.
He no longer wanted to diss it. He missed it dearly.
He Xuan looked at Shen Yuan’s side profile expecting to see the usual glow on his face but it was gone. His eyes that normally would brighten up whenever he disses a novel and his voice usually packed with extreme passion was instead a little sad.
"Can you.." He Xuan started but then paused before asking in a hesitant voice, "Tell me another bad novel?"
“He Xuan.” Shen Yuan looked at He Xuan with a sense of disapproval. "Trashy novels can be so bad that they are good but there are good novels out there that won't rot your brain, you know?"
He Xuan leaned into Shen Yuan, one of his arms snaked around Shen Yuan’s waist, and pulled him in. “Can you tell me about it?”
Shen Yuan let out a helpless sigh. There was nothing better to do so he began his long rant and with it, the heavy feeling was slowly lifted as well.
It wasn’t much different to their mortal selves hiding in a corner, away from everyone--escape into their own little world. Scraping whatever time they can spare, He Xuan would listen to whatever Shen Yuan wanted to rant about. Xuan's free time was wasted away with Shen Yuan’s nonsense, carried away by the passion in his voice.
At times Shen Yuan thought that it would be better not to hurt He Xuan with his terrible choices but surprisingly, He Xuan never said a word against him, leaning into his presence and allowing himself to be swept away from all of his reasons and embracing a horribly wrong but intriguing world, away from everything and anything he knew.
A world the two can not touch and aren’t allowed to exist in but one that they can feel and imagine.
If I Screamed Would Anyone Hear My Voice?
Contrary to what Shen Yuan originally thought, the demon realm that wasn’t terrible.
There were a couple of times when they encountered demons with human features, wearing revealing outfits. Both He Xuan and Shen Yuan thought that a fight would arise but much to their surprise that wasn’t the case. They respected power and as long as Xin Mo released even a slight bit of its demonic energy, they usually backed off or suddenly became too friendly.
The only major downfall was the terrible weather. Not long after running away from a group of succubus trying to pull their clothes off, it suddenly started raining acid. The female demons scrambled away while the tassel formed a barrier as Shen Yuan and He Xuan ran away from the demons and searched for shelter elsewhere.
The moment the acid touched the barrier, Pei Ming opened the communication array between the two of them. “
<” Shui-Xiong, is there anything wrong?”>
<“Everything is completely fine. Don’t worry about a thing.”> Shen Yuan responded as he raced into a dark cave with He Xuan.
He Xuan reached into his sleeves and pulled out a talisman, lighting it up.
The cave was filled with resentment energy cramped into one space. There were a bunch of battered souls swimming around, their voices screeched and echoed against the stone walls.
“Help me!! PLEASE!! PLEASE!! PLEASE–”
“TAKE ME AWAY! PLEASE…DON’T WANT TO…BE HERE….”
“DON’T LEAVE ME!! DON’T GO– PLEASE!”
“LIAR, YOU FUCKING LIAR!”
“Why are YOU alive? Why are YOU here?”
“Where is shizun? Shizun!”
Some old, some young, all were screaming for help and cursing a traitor. The despair and hatred in their voices were almost palpable. It increased in volume as it came closer and surrounded Shen Yuan.
<” Shui-xiong? You sound out of breath. Where are you?”> Pei Ming continued to press as Shen Yuan started to feel overwhelmed.
Shen Yuan struggled to push them away but they were relentless, condemning him for things he couldn’t understand and hating him down to their core.
They sounded familiar. Their names on the tip of Shen Yuan’s tongue and their silhouettes flashing in his mind. He should know the owners but he doesn’t.
He doesn’t know who they are, so can they stop screaming at him.
The souls already passed on but their emotions continued to linger–it was too intense to leave with the passing of time.
Just as Shen Yuan was feeling overwhelmed, his hands against Xin Mo, the air suddenly cleared and the voices disappeared. When Shen Yuan looked up, He Xuan was holding him.
With a single wave from He Xuan, it was all erased. Their sorrow, resentment, and unheard stories were gone.
Everything was gone and suddenly the cave was quiet.
Shen Yuan left out a deep breath, there was finally peace but the suffocating feeling remained.
It felt empty and Shen Yuan didn’t know why but other than surrounding and scolding him, they didn’t hurt him. They hated him so much that they couldn’t be at peace even after death but never harmed him, how strange was that?
<” Shui-xiong?”>
<” Yes? I just encountered some trouble but it should be fine now.”>
<“Shui-xiong, I am almost done. Whatever you are doing, please just wait a bit. Don’t do anything stupid without me. We have to be stupid together.”> Pei Ming's voice was a bit hesitant and unsure, unlike his usual confident self.
<“What do you mean stupid? You are the one who does stupid things and drags me into your antics.”> Shen Yuan was about to continue making fun of Pei Ming when he felt his sleeves get pulled.
After getting Shen Yuan’s attention, He Xuan let go of his sleeves and pointed downwards. On the ground, there was a small statue with bones as offerings along with numerous bits and pieces of something surrounding it.
Despite the numerous cracks, the status still resembled a living person, drenched in wealth with both hands struggling to balance piles of work in his hands.
No matter how much time has passed, Shen Yuan will always recognize the person in front of him. That person with his awkward smile and his posture curled in was no other than Shang Qinghua.
<” I think I found something.”>
Notes:
Quick Summary: SY and HX bonding as they traveled through the demonic realm and found a cave. Inside the cave there was a resentful souls. HX quickly quickly cleared it and there was a SQH statue in front of them.
Chapter 25: I Will Take You Home
Chapter Text
Shen Yuan’s chest felt like it was collapsing in on itself, each step dragging him down until he dropped to his knees. His hands moved desperately, shoving aside debris as if clearing a small, pathetic space could give him control over the chaos clawing at his heart.
A laugh ripped free—thin, hollow, breaking at the edges. “You? A god?” His voice wavered, half–mockery, half–sob. “We were never built for this… whatever this is. You and me—we were frauds from the very beginning. Two nobodies bluffing our way through life, just hoping no one looked too closely. And yet somehow we kept getting pushed up, handed more and more, like the world was in on some joke.” He shook his head, a humorless smile tugging at his lips. “It’s insane how lucky we were. We managed to fool everyone and even got promoted to something as ridiculous as gods.”
He dragged in a shuddering breath. “But luck runs out. You always said the lies would eventually catch up. And you were right, Shang Qinghua. They caught up. They saw us for what we truly are—pathetic, desperate, under qualified—and now you’re gone.” His voice cracked. “And yet I’m still here.”
His eyes fixed on Shang Qinghua’s statue, fracturing and repairing itself in slow, painful increments. Shen Yuan’s throat tightened. “Gods… You, forever a coward. Me, forever a loser. And yet we ascended. Doesn’t it feel like the cruelest punchline?”
Another laugh slipped out, breaking into a sob. “I bet you hated it. The first offering, the first statue—you’d have panicked yourself sick. You couldn’t even wrangle a group of kids without sweating through your robes. How the hell were you supposed to carry yourself worthy of a god—a holy figure, adored by strangers? You would’ve been terrified.”
Tears burned in his eyes, but his voice softened. “And still… I wish I’d seen it. You trying to stand tall, pretending to be all dignified and probably failing. A shrine in your name. Maybe I’d have been the first dumbass to pray. But I wouldn’t have been the last.”
The silence pressed heavily around him. Shen Yuan bowed his head, shoulders trembling. “I wish we could go back. Back when we were just two losers scraping by. Back when we had nothing, but at least we had each other.”
But that past was gone. Shang Qinghua is gone. And Shen Yuan was left here. For what, he wasn’t sure.
Instead of a large shrine in the heart of a city, they were both better suited somewhere smaller and relatively unknown. And although crude, Shen Yuan didn’t think Shang Qinghua would have minded being worshiped—or even living here. He was the type to hide and mumble his grief rather than defend himself, easygoing enough to accept what was given. He probably would have complained for a while, before quietly making it his home.
But this place wasn’t livable—not with the screaming voices and oppressive gloom surrounding it. Shang Qinghua was a coward, easily frightened, and he probably cried from fear every day until he got used to it.
Shang Qinghua could live anywhere—always on the run, wanting a home but dreading the return for fear of backlash. But it was time to go home. Shen Yuan would bring him back and make sure he was welcomed.
A sharp prick stung Shen Yuan’s hand as he pushed the rubble aside. He turned the object over in his fingers, examining its irregular shapes.
It was hard, smooth in one area, jagged in another. Engraved and colored. Something so small and insignificant, scattered across the ground, it looked like trash at first glance. But as Shen Yuan focused, a cold dread seeped into him, and his face drained of color.
Pinched between his fingers was a portion of an eye and the side of a nose. Beneath the eye—a beauty mark.
Not a coincidence.
The more he looked around, the more horrifyingly clear it became. The “rubbish” surrounding Shang Qinghua’s statue wasn’t debris. It was the shattered remains of the Chang Qing Mountain Peak Lords.
For him or Shang Qinghua to be trampled or discarded—expected. They never garnered enough respect to arouse admiration. But Liu Qingge? Those who hated him couldn’t help but want to be him, and those who admired him couldn’t wait to worship him—so how could this be his outcome?
How could this happen?
It shouldn’t be like this.
Shen Yuan’s chest tightened. The hollow laugh ripped free again. And I’m still here.
Each shard, each broken face, whispered failure. The world they lived in had crumbled, and he could only kneel amidst it. He wanted to scream. To gather every piece and hold them, as if that could undo the devastation. But all he could do was stare, heart pounding, hands trembling.
Shang Qinghua had been there. He had endured it all, quietly hiding his fear, muttering complaints under his breath. And now he is gone.
Shen Yuan bowed his head lower. Tears fell freely. We were never meant for this. We were never meant to be gods.
On his hands and knees, in a haze of confusion, Shen Yuan began sorting. When he briefly looked up, he realized he wasn’t alone. He Xuan knelt beside him, forming small piles, matching colors, trying to piece together an unknown image in his mind.
It was terrible—he could feel happiness in this situation. His heart thumped, light and heavy all at once, as if forgiveness had landed simply because someone was beside him, willing to help without question. It made him sick.
It will be okay. Who are you to say that?
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT?
He’s here. But I don’t want him.
I don’t want him. I want someone else.
But he’s not—they’re not here.
It’s fine… It’s fine… It’s fine…
I am adaptable. I am adaptable.
You are too, aren’t you?
Shang Qinghua.
But this place was unlivable. The screaming voices aside, the scattered remains of their friends—how could anyone find peace?
He couldn’t rest. They hadn’t. So he tried to fix them. Carefully, methodically, piecing shards together as best he could, hoping to restore even a fraction of what was lost. Each fragment handled with reverence, placed in his hands like something sacred.
When a piece didn’t fit, he adjusted. When another cracked further, he sighed. One by one, he tried to reconstruct them all, driven by a desperate hope that he could make them whole.
He Xuan knelt beside him silently watching. His presence was steady and quiet. When he spoke, his voice carried calm authority. “You cannot restore what has been shattered beyond repair. That is not a weakness. That is the truth.”
Shen Yuan’s hands trembled as he clutched a jagged fragment. “I… I can’t leave them like this…”
He Xuan’s gaze met his, unwavering yet gentle. “You are not abandoning them. You are keeping them safe. That is enough.”
No matter how Shen Yuan arranged them, no matter how carefully he sorted, they would not fit.
All ten gods were broken beyond repair.
Shen Yuan’s chest ached. He stared at what he believed were Liu Qingge’s hand, Yue Qingyuan’s hairpiece. The weight of futility pressed down on him.
He Xuan reached out, lightly brushing a piece aside, almost ritualistic in his care. “Let go of the need to fix them. You cannot give them what the world has taken. But you can give them this,” he said, indicating the fragments in Shen Yuan’s hands, “your care, your respect, your remembrance.”
With He Xuan beside him, he carefully separated what remained, placing fragments into different bags, one for each god as best he could guess. Someday, he thought, they could rest properly. Someday, they could be brought home.
Shen Yuan’s hands trembled as he tightened the bags. Real peace—true peace—would have to wait.
He turned slowly toward Shang Qinghua’s statue. It fractured and repaired itself again, the soft grinding of stone filling the silence. Shen Yuan didn’t know if the spell holding him upright was a curse or a blessing. It was enough to keep the statue standing, but not enough to make it whole.
Shen Yuan couldn’t understand if this was the best the caster could do or if this was the intended outcome. His hands moved towards Shang Qinghua’s cracked face.
Let’s stop this. I’ll let you rest with the rest… until I come back to bring you home.
As he traced the fractures, undoing the spell, a sudden blinding light erupted, flooding the ruined space. For a moment, everything paused—the fragments, the shattered statues, even the air itself seemed to hold its breath.
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