Chapter Text
“For whatever we lose
(like a you or a me)
It’s always ourselves
we find in the sea.”
-E.E.Cummings
The air buzzed with the sounds of trolleys and people, a too loud humming in Chloe’s ear. Her own suitcase in hand and Lucifer’s hand in the other they maneuvered their way through the crowds lingering at the arrival hall of LAX.
Their flight down to LA had been filled with four of the six hours by a crying child and a snoring man next to her, who to her great disappointment hadn’t been Lucifer. She had wished it was him, because then she could’ve at least woken him with a slight shove into his side. But it would also have meant that he finally would have gotten some sleep, because since Michael had flown home a few days ago, he had been filled with restless energy, that was taking turns with bone deep exhaustion that seemed to linger in his bones. She didn’t know what the deal with his brother had been, but something must have happened, even if Lucifer brushed her off with an “It’s fine, love. Nothing’s wrong.”
So, the snoring man hadn’t been the latter, but she had hours of a tense and grumpy boyfriend next to her, whose leg was jumping up and down in annoyance as he sent the man next to her glares that could have killed had the unfortunate guy noticed them.
Lucifer’s thumb brushed across her knuckles, while Chloe stretched her neck to peer over the mass of people.
“Where are they?”, she murmured, her bag heavy on her back as one of the straps was slipping down her shoulder. She couldn’t even reach up and adjust it, too occupied with not losing Lucifer or her trolley.
“I am sure they will show up any second, Detective.”
Despite the amusement coloring his voice, there was an underlying strain that was impossible to be missed. If it was only the flight or the situation in general, she didn’t know. After all, he had expressed his relief to be off that hellhole of transportation very thoroughly once they had picked up their luggage.
“Patience.”
She jutted her lower lip forward in a pout that made it clear where her daughter had gotten her award worthy puppy face from. It was impossible to miss the way Lucifer’s features shifted into something so fond that it took her breath away.
“I know. But it’s been so long.”
“I know, love.”
Only then she let go of Lucifer’s hand for the first time since they had grabbed their luggage from the conveyor to grab her phone from her back pocket. Goosebumps travelled along her spine at the acclimatized air that brushed along her upper arms. She was positive she would suffer a heat stroke as soon as they took a step outside of LAX. And if she didn’t, then Lucifer certainly would.
The latter’s hand brushed along her shoulder, down to her hand, silently urging to let him take her suitcase and she let go of the handle willingly. Now she could finally adjust that stubborn strap.
“Besides, the urchin will exhilarated anyhow and cling to you for an hour at the least.”
She threw him a quick glance, unable to suppress the disbelieving chuckle that escaped her throat.
“You are just jealous that she will hug me to death first.”
Lucifer scoffed, his gaze searching the crowd and Chloe marveled at how he could look this relaxed and unbothered after six hours of flight and with two suitcases in his hands, along with a bag slung across his chest.
“Don’t be preposterous. I am quite fond of air as you can imagine.”
Her snort couldn’t have been avoided even if she had tried. And he had been the one to ask her whether she was into choking. Her thumb continued her search through her contacts.
“Trixie reaches up to your hip, Lucifer”, she deadpanned, finally finding her mom’s contact.
His pause was filled with the overwhelming rush of passengers and suitcases and cab drivers.
“Yes, well. Metaphorically speaking”, he amended, “How am I supposed to-“
“MOMMY!”
Her phone had slipped into her pocket before she could register it as her heart widened in relief at her daughter’s shout. Her baby was dragging her Mom by the hand through the crowd only to tear herself loose and to sprint towards her. Without thinking she dropped to her knees, the bag slipping down her arm and opened her arms wide only for a bundle of exhilaration – Lucifer had been right – to collide with her body. Oh, how had she missed her. Holding her daughter tightly to her body she swayed her, breathed in her scent and relished in the way she clung to her, her giggles vibrating in her ear as she started ranting about the camp she had visited.
“I missed you so much, Monkey”, she whispered and chuckled as Trixie abruptly paused in her ramblings, before grinning into the crook of her neck.
“I missed you too, Mommy”, she said, exhaling a small breath and for a moment she was content to just hold her, ignoring Lucifer greeting her mother, ignoring the people around her and just basked in holding her child to her chest. Her curls smelled like salt and were damp against her skin.
“Were you at the beach with Nana?”, she mumbled and smiled as Trixie nodded with a giggle.
“She was a little mad at me, because I didn’t want to get out and we had to hurry to the airport.”
Chloe shook her head with a fond smile as she pulled back. she hadn’t been very different as a child. She couldn’t count the times her Dad had had to pull her out of the sea to get her ready for some event they had to accompany Mom to.
“Monkey”, even trying her hardest she couldn’t bring herself to sound as admonishing as she should, “next time you listen to Nana, alright?”
“Yeah”, Trixie grinned with a shrug and Chloe couldn’t help the way her lips curled in fondness she let the back of her fingers brush along her daughter’s cheek.
Trix leaned into the contact for a second, before she w whirled around and Chloe had to winced at the ear splitting “LUCIFER!” that shot out of her mouth. She felt her cheeks heat up at the horrified gaze of an elderly couple. Yes, her daughter was just about to launch herself at Satan. Welcome to her life.
Lucifer turned away from her mother at her kid’s shout, the suitcases safely parked and in the same instant that Trixie had attached herself to his hips, his hands embraced her gently as if she was one of the most precious things he had ever held in his hands. Something painful melted out of his expression and the softness he regarded her daughter with stole her breath.
Then I look at you, look at Beatrice I can’t help but wish that we could have that.
His fingers carded through her dark hair with a tenderness they played the piano with as he looked down at her.
“Hello there, urchin”, his rumble was swallowed by crowd, “I take it I have been missed?”
She tilted her head up at him and Chloe’s heart pounded in her chest at the smile he gave her. She grinned a toothy grin and squinted up at him.
“I know you missed me. You said so yourself on the phone.”
When he had come after they had fought, the night he had nearly had a relapse he had called her daughter to tell her he missed her. She couldn’t even find it in her to be mad at him for waking her munchkin early.
My battery gave out on me while talking to the urchin.
He snorted, “You are the most perceptive little parasite, child. But I suppose I did. Miss you that is.”
“I know”, she giggled and eventually separated herself from him. Chloe had to chuckle at the flicker of disappointment that hurried across his face. He had come a long way from “Watch your step hellspawn.”
“Did you just Han Solo me?”, he sounded affronted as he caught up on what she was saying.
Trixie paused, tilting her head adorably. “What?”
“She hasn’t seen Star Wars”, Chloe hurried to say and nearly giggled as his crestfallen expression.
“No?”
She shook her head with an apologetic smile as if it was something to be sorry for that her eight-year-old hadn’t seen Star Wars.
“Well, never mind then, urchin.”
Chloe rolled her eyes with a grin, before she rose to her feet to greet her Mom, walking into her outstretched arms.
“Hey Mom”, she said into her hair, her perfume a familiar scent enveloping her, “thank you for picking us up.”
“Oh, it’s nothing, pumpkin. It’s always a treat to have such lovely company. Besides, the charge they want for a cab is appalling.”
“True”, Chloe let go of her mother, “Dan is working?”
“Yes, the department needed him a day sooner than he expected. But lucky for you, I had the day off anyhow. So, let’s get the two of you to your honeymoon location”, her mother winked, brushing her delicately styled hair back and Chloe couldn’t help but feel a little self-conscious at her ratty ponytail.
“Mom”, she groaned, but when she turned to Lucifer, who grinned with her with an excitement that had been missing for a while the words died in her throat.
“Let’s go”, she said instead with a smile spreading on her lips as she reached for her suitcase, ignoring Lucifer’s quiet sound of protest and caught Trixie’s small hand in hers.
“Come on, Monkey.”
Her daughter grinned at her, absentmindedly reaching for Lucifer’s hand as well.
“How is Maze?”, her brown eyes gazed up at her with the honest curiosity of a child, meanwhile a flustered six foot three man stared at their hands, obviously at loss of what to do. Meanwhile her mother lead them through the crowd with a confidence rooted in years of acting experience.
His eyes flickering between Trixie and her, he tried to get Chloe’s attention, but really? He would manage holding an eight year old’s hand just fine.
“Maze is doing great actually”, she said, before shrugging and mouthing, just go with it.
He rolled his eyes and she answered with a wink that had a smirk blooming on his lips.
Finally having arranged himself with the fact that the he wouldn’t get his hand back before they were at the car, he fell into step with them, chiming in with his quips as mother and daughter caught up with what happened over the past few weeks.
“And I was at camp and I made something for you, Mom!”, Trixie beamed at her and Chloe smiled, squeezing her hand tighter.
“That’s amazing, Monkey! I can’t wait to see it.”
“I think you’ll like it.”
“I am sure I will love it”, she assured her daughter, cursing at the suitcase in her other hand that kept her from brushing across her tousled hair.
Trixie’s eyes twinkled up at her, her mouth a toothy grin, her expression turning pleading.
“Can we-“
“Still no Golden Retriever, urchin. Don’t even start”, Lucifer heaved a sigh as he looked down at her and for a moment she looked crestfallen, but eventually shrugged.
“I know. Daddy said no, too.”
“Oh, I can’t fathom why.”
Chloe was about to glare at him above her Monkey’s head, but the latter already continued, “I wanted to ask whether I could swing again?”
Chloe laughed – it didn’t matter what the scale said – her ever growing monkey would always stay her little kid inside.
“I don’t know, Monkey, I’m not sure whether I am strong enough for that.”
“But Mommy, we have Lucifer.”
“That’s true, though”, and he had definitely demonstrated his strength on more than one occasion. Chloe let out a deep breath in order to calm herself the hell down. They had sex before they had gotten to the airport – using the Trixie devoid apartment to their advantage. She had made it through years of abstinence, she would manage a day just fine.
“What swinging are we talking about?”
Lucifer stared at them with a puzzlement on his features that could only be described as comical, but Trixie was already explaining.
“I hold your and Mommy’s hand and then I jump and you lift me up, so I can jump like super far. Like cat woman.”
“Ah, I see”, Lucifer said, while Chloe stumbled across the last word.
“What – Monkey, when have you watched cat woman?”
She looked at her with brown eyes wide in innocence.
“Daddy had an appointment and I could have his phone and watch a movie on it. And Maze said it’s a good movie.”
Chloe nodded, mouth slightly agape as she frowned, trying to think of how to phrase it, without outing her insistent suspicions in Maze’s definition of child appropriate.
“Monkey, Maze is an adult. You still need to ask me or daddy for permission on whether you can watch the film.”
Trixie sighed, but nodded nevertheless. “Okay, Mommy. But it was a cool film!”
“It sure was”, she said, “Still. Not age appropriate.”
“Right, concerning the swinging thing”, Lucifer chimed in, “You wanna knock yourself out, urchin?”
“Yes!”, Trixie beamed up at him and Chloe couldn’t help herself as a smile spread across her lips.
“Right then, let’s see how this works.” And with the most concentrated expression she had ever seen him sport he lifted a giggling Trixie up in the air as she jumped. Her arm ached at the additional weight, while Lucifer held her without even breaking into sweat.
Her daughter’s feet set onto the ground again and she let out a little squeal of delight.
“Again! Please, Lucifer! Again!”
The grin he sent her little girl matched the one of her face as he nodded. Chloe could feel the soreness of her muscles already.
The heat outside in one of the parking spaces of LAX hit them with the intensity of a blast, the muscle in his jaw ticking as his eyes bulged.
“I am not made for this”, he said, his expression dreading and Chloe could have laughed at how pitiful he looked.
It was searing today, but her skin sighed in relief. It hadn’t been too hard to adjust herself to the cooler weather in New York, but now that she was back home it felt like she had been freezing for forever.
“I take the angel comment back”, he suddenly stared at her in bewilderment as she grinned in happiness, “You’ve got to be coming straight out of hell if you are actually content in such temperatures.”
Chloe threw her head back as she snickered, rolling her eyes.
“How charming of you, Mister Morningstar.”
“Ah, you two”, her mother was gushing from behind them, “such a lovely pair, but let’s get to the car before we are melting away.”
She shooed them along, with Trixie skipping ahead. Lucifer’s hand found hers, tangled his sweaty fingers with her, he only shrugged when she drew a playful grimace.
“You are stuck with me, sorry love.”
He squeezed her hand tighter.
“Oh, poor me”, she smiled as she stretched to meet his lips messily, nearly tripping over her feet, making Lucifer snicker.
With a pout she withdrew her hand and hurried along to catch up with her Monkey, squeaking as he swatted her butt.
“Lucifer!”
Penelope was speeding along the winded highway, chatting with the Detective in the front seat, while the urchin was rambling on and him trying the best to keep up with all she told him. How she had won a plushie at Santa Monica Pier, how she had been at the beach with Daniel the Douche countless times, snorkeling along fish and diving for shells. About how she had been meeting up with her friends and they had played a reinstalment of H2O - Just water. About the camp where she had made a necklace out of a shell for her mother as she whispered quietly into his ear. His eyes flickered to Chloe laughing about something in the front seat and he had to smile.
“She will love it”, he murmured loud enough for the child to hear and the brilliant grin she sent him made him smile. The glitter of the ocean along the cliff caught his eye and even though he was listening with half an ear his mind caught at the waves lapping on the shore, at how the sun caught in the lines of foam and the tumbling water, turquoise mingling with deep blue and it took him right back to Cape Town. Maze would love LA.
“Look, the sea!”, the urchin told him with an excitement only a child could possess and he let himself be tugged towards the window. He caught Chloe smiling at them over her shoulder and he couldn’t help how his features softened at it, before his attention turned back to the window. Whatever had still constricted his chest eased at the sight of never ending blue.
“My eyesight has yet to fail me, urchin”, he teased her and she just rolled her eyes.
“You are your mother’s daughter, there is no doubt in that”, he sighed, an amused smile curling his lips, but fell silent as the child next to him did as they observed the ocean stretching itself wide in front of them. The child’s hair smelled like sand, salt and seaweed and he exhaled a slow breath. This vacation would be pleasant aside from the fact that he would indeed die from a heat stroke after five minutes in the sun. He bloody well knew why he moved to New York instead of California.
They halted in the driveway of the Malibu beach house Chloe’s mother owned and the place they would be taking residence in for the next two weeks. They had made the arrangement before Michael had informed him over his newly acquired wealth and Chloe had outright refused to let herself be spoiled by him for them to stay at a five star hotel, the stubborn woman.
The urchin had dashed out of the car before the engine had even gotten killed and rushed towards the front door as he had barely managed to unbuckle himself and maneuver himself and his long legs out of the back seat. The heat still seeped deep into his bones, but he paid the sweat that had already begun to collect at his temple no mind as he bowed over the open door to catch the Detective’s lips, who had just gotten out of the passenger seat. His mouth swallowed the little surprised, but nevertheless content sound that left her throat. He basked in the smell of her perfume – mild and fresh in his nose – before he pulled away.
“What was that for?”, she mumbled, her mouth curling into a gentle smile.
“Mhm, just for you being you, Detective.”
“You’re not too bad yourself, Satan”, she grinned with a soft shake of her head, pecking his lips another time and he couldn’t stop his lids from sliding shut and lingering in her touch.
“Stop making out and come on!”
Lucifer heaved a sigh, cracking a lid open, “She has impeccable timing, hasn’t she?”
Chloe just snorted a laugh, patted his shoulder in a mockery of compassion and rounded the car. He rolled his eyes as she threw a wink over her shoulder. She would definitely be the end of him. He slammed the door of the car shut and made his way over to the boot to get the suitcases out. Finally having them both in a firm grip he made his way down the path to the cottage, cream façade and wide windows with the blinds let down. The grass near the entrance was dry and brown, a few long weeds hemmed the door. The cottage had access to the sea as far as he could tell and it did put a smile onto his face. The urchin had already dragged her mother and grandmother into the house, door wide open for Lucifer to step over the threshold.
The inside was open, was light and setting down the luggage with a soft thump he took in the place they would be staying in for the next two weeks. Light fell through a few open blinds of what had to be the windows facing north of the cottage. The smell of wood and sea clung to the walls along with the slight tinge of burnt pancakes. The kitchen was spacious in comparison to the ones in New York, a pan’s handle peeked out of a bath of foam.
“I did try myself at pancakes”, Penelope called from the living room towards the Detective that had raised her brows in question, “you could say I failed somewhat at it.”
Lucifer snorted, because if that wasn’t the truth he didn‘t know what was. The place was as the apartment back in New York was – homey. Cosy. Not something he was used from back at home – back in Wales, but something he liked very much. The cream sofa lingered invitingly on the wooden floor, while plants had found their way into the inside carried by brown and glazed pots. The urchin had already darted off into what must be her room on the left only to shoot out again, a necklace dangling in her hands that she hid behind her back.
“Mommy, you need to close your eyes!”, she demanded halting in front of her mother, vibrating with energy.
“I need to close my eyes?”, the Detective asked, surprised even though a knowing smile danced along her lips, “why?”
“Yes and you just need to. Come on, Mom.”
“Okay, okay”, she mumbled, complying.
“And stretch out your hands.”
Chloe held out her hands, forming a bowl before Beatrice dropped her gift into her hands. Lucifer moved across the room to come to rest behind her. His body yearned to reach out and hold her, but this was her daughter’s moment, he decided.
“Can I open them?”, she asked, unconsciously leaning back into his warmth, even though he was sweating his face off already.
“Yep!”
The urchin stared up at her mother with wide and hopeful eyes and Lucifer felt the urge to nudge Chloe in the side to tell her she needed to like the necklace.
“Monkey”, the latter said, voice warm and awed as her fingers played with the tulip shell, the windings shimmering in tainted lilac as it was strung up on a thin leather cord, “It’s beautiful!”
“I found the shell when I was at the beach with Daddy and we made necklaces at camp. I think it’s big enough so you can put it over your head!”
Chloe nodded, glancing back at him with her eyes shining with happiness and his heart melted at her expression.
“Thank you, Monkey”, she beamed as she kneeled down, “Come here.”
With that she enveloped her daughter in her arms, rocking back and forth. The urchin grinned at Lucifer over her mother’s shoulders and he sent her a wink. He had told her she would love it. Separating from each other Chloe slipped the necklace over her head, her fingers still playing with the shell attached to it, before she rose to her feet.
Penelope regarded them with a wide smile on her lips, releasing a dreamy sigh.
“You are so sweet, my darlings, but –“, she pulled her phone out of her jeans – Lucifer couldn’t fathom how she could wear them in the California heat, “I need to head off. I have prepared your old room, pumpkin and the towels are in the other shelf, but I am sure you will find them. You three have a wonderful two weeks – I will stop by before you leave!”
She leaned forward to press a kiss to Chloe’s cheek.
“Thank you, Mom”, she said, lightly hugging her, “Have fun with your project and greet George from me.”
Lucifer raised his eyebrow in question at that. George? He mouthed at her and she murmured “Producer”, towards him.
“I will, dear. Lucifer –“
“Penelope. The place is lovely and I cannot thank you enough for letting us stay”, he leaned towards her to press two kisses to her cheeks, one left, one right.
“Oh, you flatter me”, she made a dismissive gesture, “and you are very welcome.”
“Nonsense”, he murmured, pulling away.
“I will”, she bowed down to hug the urchin to her chest, “Goodbye Trixie, dear. Be good for your Mom.”
“Yep! Bye, Nana!”
Greetings were exchanged, before Chloe’s mother bustled out of the door and left the house to the three of them.
“We should carry our stuff upstairs”, the Detective said, brushing past him to take her suitcase, but he nudged her away and bowed down to grip both handles, sending her a warning glare.
“I can carry it-“
“Yourself, yes. But what kind of partner would I be if I let my girlfriend drag her luggage herself?”
She opened her mouth to retort something, her lips opening and closing helplessly while her fingers came up to toy with her new necklace.
“Not a decent one, you are right”, he continued cheerfully, “So come on then, Detective lead the way.” He nodded towards the staircase and suppressed a grin as she squinted her eyes in annoyance at him but turned to make sure he would find the right room anyhow.
“We’ll be back in a minute, babe!”, she called towards the urchin’s room that she had disappeared in again.
“Can we go to the beach later?”, was all that came back as acknowledgement that she had heard them.
Her voice was stifled by the wall between them and all he could think was that as long as she didn’t ask him for a puppy again, he would be ready to fulfill her every desire.
“Sure! You can pack your bag already!”, Chloe said as she made her way up the stairs
“Okay!”
And with that they made it up the staircase to the next level of the cottage, along a hallway that would be flooded with light were the blinds open. Instead only dots of sun had found their way through the gaps of the blinds. Chloe pushed a door to their left open and let him pass her.
The room was considerably bigger than the shoebox of her room back in New York. Curtains concealed the wide window facing towards the sea, a dresser in front of it. The double bed nestled itself into the corner of the room and the wooden floor underneath her feet creaked as she made it over to said bed and sunk down on the mattress, while he set down the suitcases at the foot of a wardrobe. On the green walls pictures concealed a part of the tapestry. One of them was an admittedly not too awful Bangles poster, while the other showed the vast expanse of the sea, next to it a portray of an officer – a reassuring smile on a friendly face. Lucifer tilted his head as he took a step closer. He seemed familiar. Something about it spoke to him, as if he had seen this man somewhere already. Where had he –
“That’s my Dad”, Chloe spoke up and he turned just to see her staring at the picture of her father, because of course it was her father. Her eyes crinkled just the same way as his did in the photograph, even though hers shimmered with shallow grief in them. A grief of having lost her Dad and his chest constricted. A part of him knew what it felt like to have his Dad ripped from him – even if it wasn’t death yet, Caelum had stolen his father already years ago.
“Oh”, he said, a little unsure, before he made his way over to her, settling next to her on the bed. She leaned into him automatically, seeking out his body and he sagged into the contact. He could never get enough of her as if he was addicted to her mere touch. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple.
“I am sure he would be proud of you”, he said, clearing his throat. How could anyone be less then proud of her? She turned to look at him, a tremulous smile on her lips as she stretched to capture his lips in a kiss.
“Thank you”, she whispered against his mouth and he swallowed the words, by sealing their lips again. Addicted indeed. His hand found her waist, pulling her closer to him, despite the fact that he was probably sticky with sweat. Her mouth made him melt anyhow and he couldn’t stop the low sigh that escaped his throat as he sneaked his tongue across the barrier of her lips.
“Lucifer”, she managed to mumble, but he just held her closer, unwilling to let her go. She smiled into the kiss, the corners of her mouth pulling upwards and he wanted to bask in her joy, but she patted his chest, her small hands shifting against his muscles.
“Come on”, she giggled breathlessly, when she finally managed to pull away, ignoring the low whine that escaped his lips, “Let’s get ready. The beach is waiting.”