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Jim won’t exactly admit that this is his entire fault. Even though it is. Oh... it totally is. It just… looked so damn awesome on paper – the brochure practically gave Jim a hard-on mid-shift when he ought to have been charting their way through the next galaxy but instead was… surfing the web.
Still, they were all here now: Jim, Bones, Sulu, Chekov, Uhura and Spock, and it was time to start making the best of things. Sure, it was strange that Spock and Uhura got dropped off at one ‘hut’ and Chekov and Sulu at another. Stranger still that when he and Bones got to their new digs, McCoy was quick to point out that there was only *one* bed. One meant… Wait for it… wait…
“Bones! I’m sure it’s not what you think…”
Leonard cut him off, brows rising furiously. “One bed, Princess. That means it’s exactly what I think which means *you* didn’t think at all, dammit….”
Jim thought maybe the pause meant Bones would just... sigh and grumble it out of his system. He’d sunk down onto the couch and distracted himself with pamphlets, after all, and sort of… rubbed his forehead. Yeah... maybe that would be the height of it. Being wrong never stopped sucking.
“Of all the crazy, hair-brained stunts. Do you know what this place is?” Bones shouted, tossing the pamphlet at Jim, eyes darting around desperately for his bag. “Where’s my bourbon. I need a goddamn drink.”
Jim was about to say something else, but then just… stopped. He’d caught the shiny, slippery paper in his hand and clutched it to his chest before watching Bones storm back into the bedroom in search of his flask.
Opening the paper, Jim groaned. “No… no no no…” he moaned. “Just… no.”
Open Your Heart: Affirmations for a Successful Partnership
Welcomes YOU to Paradise.
Jim dropped the paper as if it were on fire and ran toward the bedroom.
“Bones? Hey, man… it can’t be that bad, can it? I mean we can Jet Ski and there’s parasailing – you love all that stuff!”
Jim was smiling – no, forcing a smile more like. At least until he saw McCoy stand up.
“No *you* love that stuff. *You* do, Jim. I’m just here for the sunshine and free booze, remember? That’s what you told me, Jim. Free. Booze. And. Sunshine. You’ve gotta be outside your mind if you think I’m signing up for any of this ‘talk-it-out/hug-me-then-love-me’ crap. Now… pack up because I’m getting the hell off this…” He looked around for a word to describe this little piece of heaven that had just turned into his version of hell. “…Dock! And I’m doing it now!”
Bones could move fast, Jim knew, but *this* fast? Well, it was kinda akin to Spock’s ‘fast’ and Jim really never knew he could do that. Still, the ‘house’ wasn’t that big, so it was possible to stay right on the doc’s heels, which Jim did. All the way out to the end where… there was no boat tied to the post. And as Jim and Leonard looked across the vast blue waters to each nearby hut, they realized that there were no boats anywhere.
“Maybe now can wait a little bit,” Jim said quietly, smirking, secretly grateful that he had a little time to ‘work’ on his best friend. Somehow... somehow he just knew he could get Bones to stay – this place was heaven after all. He was already planning on how best to wear him down when he unexpectedly hit the water with one hell of a spectacular splash.
Spluttering, he came up out of the water, stood waist-deep and glared at McCoy; who, in turn, glared right back before turning on his heel and going back inside.
A few minutes later, Jim hauled himself out of the water and walked, dripping, back into their place. He found Bones on the couch next to their suitcases. His eyes were closed and he sat with a cold beer in his hand.
Jim’s first instinct was to say something about ‘Beer!’ but immediately thought better of it.
“Ummm… Spock and Uhura are staying. Sulu and Chekov are, too – so that leaves us. If we leave, they’ll have to pay the full price, Bones, and you damn well know you and I make more money than they do. You wanna do that to ‘em, you’ve gotta tell ‘em ‘cause while I *may* have fucked up and booked us on this trip, I’m not telling them they gotta spend their shore leave on the Enterprise.”
Leonard stared up into Jim’s bright blue eyes and frowned. Jesus! he thought. Jim being right totally sucked.
“Fine. We stay, but.. none of this hoodoo-guru crap, got it? I’m not ‘working on my issues’ and ‘researching the power of touch’. None of that shit, got it?” He said firmly before standing up. Jim could see he was still very clearly not happy but at least they were staying.
Not letting Bones’ bad mood keep him down, he followed after him. “What about hot stone massages? I think that Reed Therapy sounds interesting, don’t you?”
Leonard simply groaned and rolled his eyes, regretting not packing any sedatives the strength of horse tranqs.
Day One – Relationship Re-Entry: Getting Back In Touch With Your Lover
Bones really didn’t say much while they all sat in the ‘Perfect Circle’ that morning, but man was he talking up a storm now that they were in their first one-on-one session.
“…And he has no respect for boundaries. A closed door. The word ‘no’. The fact that maybe really *does* mean just that. Maybe. No matter what he wants, if I hesitate or give him a list of reasons why it’s a *very* unwise idea, he simply disregards me AND my feelings and does what he wants anyway. A relationship is supposed to be a two-way street, right? Not just… my way or the … skyway.”
Man… Bones let it all hang out, Jim thought. He was really playing this whole ‘couple’s therapy’ thing up to the hilt. He admired his best friend for being so convincing, too. Winking at Bones, he nodded at the therapist when it was his turn.
“My only complaint about Bones…”
“Let me stop you there, Jim,” said the therapist.
Ming? Or was it Wing, Jim wondered while he watched her carefully. Wing. Definitely Ms. Wing.
“Why don’t you acknowledge your partner’s concerns before we address your own, alright? Because it seems you’re quite ready to ‘disregard’ his feelings right now and we want to break bad habits as they rear up.” She smiled warmly at both of them as she said this, giving Jim a little nod of encouragement.
Jim’s neck was red, suddenly, and he was fumbling with trying to start and not exactly knowing how.
“Why don’t you turn and face Leonard,” she suggested, still smiling at them both and that really was starting to get on Jim’s nerves.
“I…” he cleared his throat and tried again, Bones giving him his full attention now and only Jim could see the trace of amusement in his expression. “I... didn’t realize I was doing that, Leonard. I’m… sorry I made you think that your input is insignificant. I’ll… try to be more collaborative in the future…” Jim said sincerely, though only Bones could pick up that most of it was through partially gritted teeth.
Thinking it was enough, he looked to Ms. Wing again and started with his ‘only’ complaint.
“I… don’t think you were finished, Jim. You need to acknowledge Leonard’s request for personal space. You both need ‘re-charge’ time. That is… time away from one another where you can re-immerse yourselves into your own psyche. Leonard needs this time and so do you, even if you don’t think so.”
Why did her tone have to be so… toneless, Jim thought, frowning for a moment before turning again to Leonard and this time, he reached for his hand. He patted it. Stroked the back of it and then entwined those long, elegant fingers with his own.
“I… promise to give you time you need to just... relax. You know… by yourself. Without... me,” he said almost painfully, and inwardly he gave himself a high-five at how Bones actually sort of winced on that last bit.
“Very good, Jim. Now… “And just then, the small metronome-like device on her desk let out a soft ‘bing’. “Well, now, I’m afraid we’re out of time for today. You two are scheduled for some ‘couple-reliance restructuring’ after lunch, so we’ll pick this up tomorrow,” she said, smiling at them again as she stood up and led them both to the door. “Remember to value one another,” she said confidently, patting Leonard on the shoulder as they left.
“Well, I think that went swell,” said Bones, as he dug into his salmon burger and sweet potato fries. Jim, however, just pushed his food around on his plate. When their friends joined them, they all greeted one another and as they ate, Jim took stock. Chekov and Sulu looked like they were actually *happy* as they sat across from Jim, chatting easily with Bones and one another. Spock sat beside him and was strangely subdued (which was significant for a Vulcan) during their lunch meal while Uhura sat beside Bones looking a bit uncomfortable.
Spock leaned over and placed a hand on Jim’s arm. “Perhaps you could explain what our therapist might’ve meant by describing Nyota as having ‘a set of brass balls’?”
And if it weren’t for Spock’s pained expression from having to ask, Jim might’ve spit out the sip he’d just taken of his drink. “We’ll talk later, yeah?” he said, schooling his features and nodding after forcing it down.
Later that night, Jim sat with a bag of peas against his left cheek while Bones held a glass full of ice cubes over the knuckles of his right hand. They sat in silence, watching The Toy, one of Leonard’s favorite movies from many many years ago.
“Would it help if I apologized again?” Bones mumbled, shifting a little, not that there was much room on the loveseat to begin with.
“No need… I just didn’t know you took building sandcastles that seriously,” he replied quietly. And if it was true that some of the well-known luster had faded from Jim’s tone, but Bones wasn’t worried. Much.
Day Two – The Power Of Touch Through Re-Connection
Bones laid out in his skivvies and covered with vanilla-scented oil was, Jim had to admit – and would freely to anyone who would listen – a *fine* sight to behold. Turned out ‘re-connection’ meant massage therapy and that was something he could not only get behind but was also good at. *Very* good if Bones’ moans of pleasure were any indication. Jim gave himself a mental A+ and kept his hands moving in warm, solid circles up and down every inch of Bones’ finely toned body. He appreciated his best friend in ways he’d never been able to show before. He hoped like hell it was at least a start at making up for putting him through this in the first place.
Despite this whole ‘couple-therapy’ thing being bullshit, he couldn’t help but really start thinking of what Bones meant to him. How much he cared about him. It was… deep, their friendship. Far deeper than any other relationship he’d ever had with anyone else. And Bones must feel the same way – Jim could tell that just by how many times Bones had patched him up since they’d met. Sure, he’d get mad – sometimes *really* mad, but he’d always be there to stitch him back together. Let him crash in his bed. Hell, let him move in during that second year at the Academy together. They’d been mostly inseparable and Jim couldn’t imagine it any other way. Bones…took care of him better than any family ever did and in a way, made him whole. Or.. mostly, anyway. Some damage just can’t be repaired, he decided.
Before he’d realized it, an hour had passed and it was now *his* turn to be stretched out on the table and Bones’ job to ‘release his tension’. Normally that would involve the scented oil, but it was usually more private and a whole lot darker when that stuff came into play. Still, he stripped out of his shorts and tee shirt and lay in his briefs on the table. Everyone had their own ‘alcove of safety’, so modesty was an option. Jim didn’t know much about being modest, but still gave Bones a grin and stretched out – bearing all for anyone to see.
Ten minutes into it, he felt the tingling. Warm. Really warm, actually. Bones’ hands were doing things to him that he’d never felt before, that was for sure. It wasn’t until his throat started to close that Bones realized that Jim was having an allergic reaction.
“Goddammit!” was the last thing Jim heard before the hypo jabbed into his neck and everything went black.
He woke up several hours later in the first-aid area, Bones reading a magazine quietly in the corner, waiting for him to wake up. He tossed it down and started shaking his head the way he always does.
“Guess you really got reconnected, huh?” he said softly, and Jim could see the worry lines gathered in the corner of his eyes. He smiled at Bones and sat up, hopping down off the table.
“I’d rather reconnect my stomach – can we get outta here and go find some steaks? Me and my psyche are starving.”
Bones ruffled the back of his hair and hooked an arm around his shoulders, pulling him out of the room.
Day Three: Re-Establishing Old Traditions
This was a hard one for both of them seeing as old traditions were made mostly out of the reoccurrence of habitually bad behavior. One thing, though, they could use for this exercise was a nature hike. Jim liked to do almost everything outdoors and Bones would occasionally indulge him unless Jim asked him on a nature hike. Then, it was almost a sure-fire guarantee that Bones would join him.
Together, they set off apart from the group and headed for the mysterious-sounding Taquamanan Falls. Supposedly a mile up the mountain on the main land, they packed a lunch and gear and just…got lost in one another. They’d done this countless times and Bones missed it. A lot. No way to walk San Francisco on the Enterprise, though, and if he were honest, it was a small concession to being with Jim. He hated the black, but he hated the idea of life without James T. Kirk even more.
“I miss this,” he heard Jim say from somewhere up ahead of him.
“Really? I didn’t think you thought much about it, actually,” Leonard replied without accusation. Just... surprise. “Thought once you got your wings that... everything else just sort of faded away.”
Jim kept going and Leonard kept following and it wasn’t long before they reached the top. There were a few other couples along the path, too, and both men were content to let them pass. Finding a mostly flat place, Jim procured them seats on an old tree trunk and waited for Leonard to join him. He passed him a bottle of water and they both drank for a while, watching the falls.
”I could see why you’d think that, Bones. But… I guess I don’t think about it because mostly I looked forward to the hikes so we’d have some downtime together and now… we have all the downtime we need on the ship. I see you almost every night,” Jim observed, turning to offer a soft smile.
“True enough,” Leonard agreed, realizing a little more about how Jim’s mind worked. They ate mostly in silence and were about to start back down the path when another couple came by with a camera.
“You two look so cozy,” they started, and Leonard nearly rolled his eyes at how ‘reconnected’ they seemed to be.
“You two want a picture? Come on… give him a kiss, Blondie – you sure make a good looking couple.”
Jim was never one to back down from a challenge and by the way Bones’ eyes were nearly popping out of his head, pinning him down for a smooch was going to be fun.
“Come on, baby… you know… for our photo album,” he teased Bones, chuffing him under the chin. “Len’s been just devastated over losing our camera our first day – a picture’d be really nice, thanks,” he told the couple voted most happy.
It happened slowly. Jim slipped his fingers into Bones’ soft dark hair and gentled him like he would’ve one of the skittish colts back home on his Iowa farm. Slow and gentle, he thought, leaning into him and when their lips finally met, Jim’s eyes flew open as the sparks flew behind his eyes. That kiss… well, it was like instantaneous fireworks going off inside him. And it wasn’t even that heavy – just… a quick peck by his standards, but damn… Did it get just get fifteen degrees hotter outside?
Leonard was thanking them by the time Jim could really speak again – giving the couple their email so the picture could be shared and thanking them profusely with that southern charm that he never seemed able to forget. He started talking a lot, then – filler stuff that they’d been told to avoid by Ms. Wing, their therapist. Jim guessed he couldn’t help it, because neither one of them wanted to talk about that kiss. That *kiss* was definitely off limits.
Day Four: Lighten Up
They’d each slept on the very edges of the bed, both exhausted from hugging the sides so hard they’d nearly flopped out of bed. Upon the arrival of their last ‘session’ day, they found they were the only ones there. Leonard checked his watch and Jim did the same.
“We’re not late,” Bones quipped, agitated and wanting a nap. Wanting even more not to think about yesterday.
“I know we’re not late. Hell, maybe we’re early,” Jim said, sounding so unlike his usual self that Leonard was a little concerned.
“Gentlemen,” they heard and turned to find the voice of Ta’Kai, their Outdoor Stimulus guide. “We here at Open Your Heart strive to give struggling couples the tools needed to nurture your special relationship so that it may grow and so may you. You have shown great strides these last few days and you should be very proud of yourselves. Your instructors and I agree that you are ready to do this and require no more instruction. You may now begin your journey of Re-Connection while spending quality time with one another rebuilding your core relationship. Your friends have all graduated to this stage in the program – feel free to join them at your leisure. Go now… and remember: Respect one another,” he said proudly, bowing a little in that way that Leonard found very awkward seeing as Ta’Kai wasn’t Asian and neither were he or Jim.
Still, bow they did. Anything to get out of there and back to their hut.
“Left to our own devices at last, huh, Bones?” Jim said, looking half way between relieved and disappointed.
“Yeah, looks that way,” Bones said, searching the perimeter just in case they were being set up.
“So uh…. What do you want to do now?” Jim asked, stifling a yawn as the sun started rising behind him.
Turning to look into those eyes – the ones Leonard sometimes saw in his dreams if he were very honest. Something he hadn’t been here and was thinking perhaps that he should’ve been. Sun played with the blond in Jim’s hair and formed a halo around that perfect head of his and Len let out a frustrated sigh, feeling himself giving in and he didn’t even know to what.
“Something tells me you’ve probably already got a plan, so… let’s just get to it so I can crawl back to our *hut* and catch an afternoon nap.”
Jim grinned at him, nodding his head. “Nope. No plans, Bones. Not this time. Thought we’d… figure it out together for a change instead of me dragging you along somewhere just to watch me do something you’ll wish I hadn’t. It’s a new thing I’m trying – respecting your input and stuff.”
Len just stared at him and blinked. Then he laughed. Loud and hard – something only Jim has been able to do to him. It took him a bit to compose himself but when he did, he took a step closer to Jim and tipped his head, watching his face.
“For what it’s worth, I’ve got a few ideas of my own. See… the last three days have been an experiment, right? Kind of a ... test of theories or some such shit. Well… I’ve got a theory I want to test out on you. Got unexpectedly positive results the first time it happened, but... more research needs to be done before I have absolute proof. Care to help me out?”
Jim held his breath, having not realized that whatever he’d felt the day before with ‘The Kiss That Shall Never Be Mentioned’ might’ve been reciprocated. “Sure, Bones. You know me… anything in the name of science, right?”
Bones smiled and stepped impossibly closer. They were touching. Chests. Thighs. Foreheads. So close. “Was hoping you’d feel that way.”
And it was so easy. Just a little dip of his head and turn of his cheek and there they were. Kissing. And it was fireworks again. Better than fireworks, Jim thought, because those bright lights burned hot just to fade. And this… this light he felt when Bones wrapped his arms tight around him and held him just so he could kiss him even better… well, he had a feeling that that light was meant to burn forever.