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Maybe it started out of nowhere. Maybe it didn't. But meeting eyes over balcony edges one late night has to have been a coincidence at best.
"H-Hey, man!" Kirishima calls out, grinning wide as if Bakugou can't see how glossy his big eyes are. "What you doin' out here? I swear it's past your bedtime."
It is past Bakugou's bedtime, but sometimes things keep him up. Words from people he's never even met, words of people he knows too well, slime green, or a weakened yellow once so strong. And right now Bakugou's shaking too much to sleep but he can't just say that out loud.
So he just grunts. Kirishima doesn't seem to expect another answer, just laughing as he wipes his eyes. Bakugou wonders what's wrong. He wonders what can make sunshine sad.
"I'm just- gah- a bit emotional right now," Kirishima says, fanning his face, still laughing, always laughing. "Sorry! Sorry, it's- it's really dumb, it's always dumb so I don't need to tell you - not that you even asked! Ha! So it's fine..."
"Take my hand, Shitty Hair."
Kirishima blinks, and looks down to see Bakugou's arm outstretched over the gap between their balconies, hand reaching out. And Kirishima stares, stares for way too long that Bakugou's starting to get antsy and way too regretful about this dumb act of kindness - until Kirishima suddenly grabs it so tight.
And it evokes the kind of light and comfort that eases Bakugou's heart, his breathing coming out shallower, easier. It's so unfair that this always happens. Only one of them reaches out, but they both get saved.
Kirishima laughs again, into the night, letting his tears run freely now as he beams up at the night sky, and Bakugou watches him with the corners of his own lips tugging.
He gets a text the next morning, when he's almost done getting dressed. He picks up his phone and squints at it.
red - i jus want u 2 kno that even tho we didnt talk about wat was wrong but we still made e/o feel better that does not mean i wouldnt eva wanna talk, talkin is good!!!
Bakugou's so confused.
you - you just woke up you literally don't know what the fuck you're talking about
red - NO I DO I JUS I JUSDONT KNO HOW 2 PUT IT IN2 WORDS
red - I JUS
red - THANK U 4 HOLDIN MY HAND
Bakugou bites his lip and realises, holy hell, someone actually made him smile at seven bloody am.
He's about to type back 'you and your brightness is what I should be thanking, fucker', but he aggressively deletes it the instant he's finished typing out. It's fine; he'll see Kirishima in a few minutes anyway and just nod at him and the guy'll get the message. And he's right. One nod when they meet up outside his room has Kirishima's replying grin almost fucking blinding him.
And, incredibly, it turns out not to be a one-time thing.
"I said to him, 'dude, you look cool', and he said 'you're just saying that 'cause you want to be complimented back' and I think about that all the time," Kirishima retells with eyes wide one night as Bakugou mindlessly watches him from his own balcony, chin in his palm.
"When was this?"
"When I was...five? BUT IT'S SO DEEP. NOW I FEEL SO BAD WHEN I COMPLIMENT PEOPLE!"
"The fuck- but all you do is compliment people."
"Yeah because that's just in my blood but then I remember it after the compliment and I'm like 'NO, IS THAT WHY I SAID IT?!'"
"You said Pinky had cool acid the other day. I don't think you want her to tell you that you have cool acid."
"IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THE SAME COMPLIMENT!" Kirishima yells, stress-eating a handful of the packet of crisps he'd brought from his room and Bakugou stares at him in disgust.
"Oh my God, you think about things too much. You just said compliments are in your blood, that means you do them without thinking, so you're not seeking any validation."
"How do you know?!" Kirishima accuses, mouth full as he points a finger at Bakugou who slaps it away.
"I know everything." Or most things, especially about Kirishima, at least. "Is this the time of night where you mull over these dumb deep thoughts? Boring."
Kirishima pouts, throwing a crisp at Bakugou in his rage, but Bakugou just catches it pristinely between his teeth. He sees Kirishima's jaw drop in amazement and Bakugou inwardly snickers as he winks and almost chokes on the crisp when Kirishima suddenly starts choking on air.
"I hate you so much," Kirishima whines groggily as Bakugou doubles over his balcony ledge cackling. "Also, no one can catch anything in their mouth like that, meaning you're not human, therefore this isn't fair play."
"Woah, settle down, detective, don't go accusin' me of foul play if you still want your head attached to your shoulders."
"Try me, dude!"
Needless to say, it starts getting harder to wake up in the morning. Though it doesn't fully matter because Kirishima's annoying hyperactivity even in the morning is like an energy drink, just standing next to him for a few minutes charges Bakugou right up.
And being with Kirishima at night is so much better than being alone with his thoughts, his dreams, his terrors, and himself.
-
"UNO!" Kirishima whisper-yells as he slams a card down so hard that Bakugou and Kirishima have to watch all the Uno cards fall helplessly between the gap of their balcony ledges and disappear into a dark abyss. Bakugou looks up, and Kirishima gives him a sheepish grin.
-
"Give me a number, any number."
Bakugou thinks, before saying, "Three."
"You're gonna have three pets when you're older!"
"Oh yeah I already knew that, it's a cat, a tarantula, and you," Bakugou agrees, making Kirishima snort his hot chocolate in surprise.
-
"Kirishima, what did you get for question five."
"Dude, you don't know how upset I am that we're doing practice exam questions at midnight."
"I asked for an answer, not your baby emotions. And it's twenty-seven."
"WHY DID YOU ASK?!"
-
"I think," Kirishima says as Bakugou opens his mouth for Kirishima to throw a chocolate into, grinning when Kirishima cheers so happily once he gets it in, "that I gotta toughen up so much more and every day I'm scared that I won't get where I need to be."
"I think," Bakugou says as he tries to find a decent way to jump over onto Kirishima's balcony without falling to his death which is very distracting when Kirishima screeches in alarm every time Bakugou even wobbles, "you're good the way you're going."
"I've gotta get better."
"You're getting better every day."
"If that's not enough?"
"Then your idea of enough is far too much."
"But if I really fail then what do I-"
Kirishima's jaw snaps shut when Bakugou finally gets onto Kirishima's balcony with a slight jump, and stumbles right into Kirishima, their chests hitting and faces inches apart and eyes staring into each other's in surprise.
After countless nights spent together, this is the first time they'd...been in the same place.
"You won't fail," Bakugou breathes, the air visible in the cold night air and puffing between their faces. "I know."
Kirishima's face is an enigma. With a single smile, it gains a million watts. And now, up close, his smile isn't even as big as one he might usually give. No, it's soft, and amazed, and...adoring. And yet he still looks so bright that he's all Bakugou can see.
"You neither. I know," Kirishima whispers, smile growing, and it's so contagious. It wouldn't hurt to smile back. It wouldn't hurt to reach out and grab Kirishima's hand. It wouldn't hurt to tell Kirishima just how much he lights up Bakugou's dark.
Instead, he says, "Knock on my door if you ever want me."
Kirishima's eyes widen.
Then he's suddenly rushing out, and Bakugou blinks in shock before he follows him, only to see Kirishima throw open his dorm door then rap on Bakugou's.
"Okay. I know you're pretty dumb, but you do know that I'm literally not in there, right?" Bakugou asks, actually kinda warily, and Kirishima turns to grin at him.
"I know. I'm just letting you know that I want you. And I want you always so I'd wanna knock on your door always but I can't do that so! I'll just knock now."
"You...you know that's not what I bloody meant," Bakugou mutters, lowering his gaze because he fucking knows why his face feels hot and he's not about to let Kirishima see, but that just means he's off his guard when arms slip around his middle.
"Yeah, I do know," Kirishima says warmly, before squeezing Bakugou tight. Bakugou feels like he's trapped. In a cloud. A cosy cloud. It's late, he's tired, and cosy clouds seem like the most welcoming things in the world right now.
Bakugou locks his arms around Kirishima's waist and drops his head onto the guy's shoulder, and Kirishima makes the brightest sound ever heard.
Kirishima does knock on his door not long after that night. Just long enough for Bakugou to wonder if he ever would, and he opens it with the mind to yell away some extra for disturbing his beauty sleep (such lies because he hasn't slept well for fucking weeks) but it's just Kirishima, with hair tied back and a pillow under his arm. He smiles, still bright, but nervous. And it clicks.
Oh.
Bakugou has never slept in the same bed as someone before, has never found the appeal of it either, but he doesn't want to say no. He just doesn't.
He holds out a hand, and he's flipped the switch to make Kirishima's face light up, as the guy wordlessly takes hold of it. Then Katsuki smirks, tugging hard, and Kirishima yells as they tumble backwards and they dissolve into a mess of limbs and blankets and giggles as they just about manage to flop back onto Katsuki's bed.
Kirishima's head shakes about frantically before it manages to poke out of the blanket it got stuck in and it's so ridiculous that while Bakugou's laughing, he threads his hand through Kirishima's hair, glad to see his face again. And Kirishima beams.
"You took that way better than I thought you would," Kirishima chuckles as they just lay there, still all tangled up. It doesn't hurt, and it's not uncomfortable, so why should they move? Doesn't matter if this is basically the closest they've ever been to each other...
"I took it the right way, right?"
"Oh yeah, seems like it."
Kirishima shuffles a little, then slings an arm over Bakugou's torso, then rests his head on Bakugou's chest and oh, now it definitely seems like it. Kirishima laughs lightly as he listens to Bakugou's heartbeat, running a hand up and down Bakugou's clothed arm, and hums. "You wear jumpers to sleep? D'you get cold during the night?"
Bakugou hates lying. "Yeah."
"I could keep you warm."
Bakugou wants to give some sarky reply, but now he's preoccupied. He feels the need to give a warning, a subtle one, even though he wants nothing less than for Kirishima to leave but if the guy really wants to be here...
"I have trouble-"
"I hear it," Kirishima says, making Bakugou fall silent. "Sometimes, anyway. I hear you at night, yelling, or exploding something. I've always wanted to help but I was always worried I wouldn't be able to so I always waited for just a sign of you maybe asking for help because that would make me surer and...you telling me to knock on your door seemed like a disguised way."
Bakugou hadn't thought of it that way.
He'd told Kirishima to knock if he ever needed Bakugou.
But the one who reaches out also gets saved.
Bakugou doesn't reply. He just nudges his head against Kirishima's, closing his eyes and resting his face in downy hair. And he swallows when lips almost meet his palm, so that a whisper into his hand of "I'll be your shield, Blasty" is the last thing Bakugou hears before he falls asleep.
But he never gets to sleep for long. Because he has the kind of nightmares that make him break into cold sweats that make his palms explode, the kind that shatter his senses and drum up unwanted adrenaline inside him that make his limbs thrash out, the kind of nightmares that make him yell, make him shout, "BAKUGOU!" except.
Except that's not him. That wouldn't be him. Someone else is here.
Bakugou's eyes snap open at the call, and fuck, he has to get ready to fight because it's always fighting, all he's been doing all his life is fighting against people and everything he's ever felt and he knows it's never ever going to stop- but, there are hands on him.
A body, hovering over him, breathing heavily, trying to be quiet. And Bakugou could've, would've freaked out if he didn't recognise these hands. He waits in frozen shock as they slowly unharden, and the fingers intertwine with Bakugou's.
"You okay?" they both ask at the same time, and there's a pause, before Kirishima's sleep-scratchy laughter reaches Bakugou ears.
"Of course I'm fine, dude. You were the one going crazy there 'n hey, I've been hearing it for a while now."
"Get off me," Bakugou blurts out, out of sheer embarrassment and wish to change the subject. He can't believe Kirishima knows the extent of everything now. He'd been purposefully vague when talking about why he finds it difficult to sleep at night, for every question Kirishima asks he tries his best to be subtle, and he hates that Kirishima knows, but how could he not? His explosions could probably be heard across the whole floor. Kirishima said he can hear him at night sometimes. And now, Kirishima knows just how pathetic Bakugou looks fighting the fucking air in his sleep.
"Let me just hold on until you calm down a little, dude, please-"
"I'm okay. Trust me," Bakugou mutters because, somehow it's...true. He's still trembling a little, but things have died down.
Kirishima's so warm against him.
Bakugou's mind is sleep-addled, filled with dust, filled with debilitating thoughts about Kirishima that hurt but above everything, he feels safe. And Kirishima's eyes flick over his face a few times before suddenly he laughs in relief and his forehead knocks against Bakugou's, probably by accident, and Bakugou watches him confusedly. Why is he still on top of him?
"I wanted to help you at least once. God. I'm so glad," Kirishima whispers, almost like he's not speaking for Bakugou to hear. "And you wear jumpers at night because-"
"Yes."
Kirishima groans, shaking his hand away from one of Bakugou's as he drops onto the empty side of the bed. "I never question bruises, man, we're heroes, I just thought they- I just thought they were from training, like I-I have some too and I just- ARGH!"
Bakugou opens his mouth to tell him it's fucking fine and he gets it, he doesn't want anyone to know anyway, but then Kirishima carefully rests a hand on Bakugou's clothed arm, then traces it down. Bakugou flinches at one point, and Kirishima pauses in alarm.
"F-First aid kit! I'll get mine- no no wait, you'll have one, uh, I'll-"
"It's fine, that's an old bruise, from another night. They just stay sore for a while."
"I don't want you to explode yourself into little pieces," Kirishima frowns. "I like when you're a big piece."
Bakugou snorts dryly, wondering how, how in the fucking world his heart feels lighter. Kirishima's hand squeezes his.
"Can I stay?"
Bakugou's breath hitches, but he refuses to let his guard down. "I already let you."
Kirishima smiles, curling a hand next to Bakugou's cheek. Bakugou decides that early dawn light streaming through blinds is a good accessory for Kirishima. "But I need you to give me permission again, because now I know more."
Oh. God, what kind of angelic consideration is that? Fuck, and Bakugou can't say no. He wants to say yes. He wants to say yes so badly that he can taste it because somehow, Kirishima successfully stopped one of his horrible nightmares. And maybe it was a fluke but if it led to this, if it led to softness and his hands feeling safe in Kirishima's then...
"You're already here."
Fuck his inability to do this. But Kirishima grins, bright as ever in the dark, as he presses just a little closer. Then he closes his big eyes and Bakugou slowly does the same.
Except everything goes wrong. Not even an hour later and Bakugou's mind is haunted again, hands sparking as he yells at everything in his head to shut up but another yell beats him out. A more raw one, one he can barely hear, because he's not far on the verge of consciousness.
Kirishima.
The thought tries to force him awake. Kirishima's in danger, Kirishima's hurting, am I hurting Kirishima but his nightmare isn't done with him yet. He growls, writhing as he tries to fight. He tries so fucking hard but he never wins, not against things designed to harm him.
"BAKUGOU!"
He's thrown off the bed.
Hardened hands press against his again as his head collides with the ground, and Kirishima whispers softly, "Bakugou, it's me, it's just me. You're okay."
Slowly, Bakugou's eyes open. He listens. He peers into Kirishima's soft reassuring eyes and almost whimpers, not ready to be hit by such warmth after being wracked by agony. But then his eyes trail to Kirishima's arm, where he sees bruising. He sees red.
No.
"Get out," Bakugou breathes, voice hoarse. Kirishima shakes his head immediately but that's because he's stupid. Bakugou grabs Kirishima's arm, the one that isn't fucking bleeding and gets up, dragging him out his door.
"Don't come back," Bakugou hisses, pressing a finger into Kirishima's chest, hard, "or I'm never, ever speaking to you again."
Kirishima's eyes are glossy. His lips press into a thin line, trembling, but he still weakly nods. Bakugou lets him go.
And the instant he hears Kirishima's door closing, Bakugou sinks to the floor, hands dragging through his hair as he breathes out shakily.
He's such an idiot. He knows just how destructive he is at night and he still let Kirishima stay, just to be selfish, because he thought it'd be okay. Of course it wasn't fucking okay, Kirishima isn't superhuman! Kirishima can't harden on command in his sleep. Who could even do that?
Bakugou selfishly wishes that Kirishima could. He wishes he'd come back again and hold Bakugou's hands and tell him 'no, Bakugou, I can't leave, I'll never leave.' For a fleeting second, Bakugou wants to fucking cut off his hands for hurting Kirishima when he didn't mean to, he didn't mean to.
He was naive and thought Kirishima being there would make everything better.
He never wants to go to sleep again.
But it's okay that Kirishima can't stop his nightmares. It's so okay, because Bakugou can't stop them, so he doesn't expect anything more from Kirishima, and not when one smile from him across balconies is already enough to soothe his mind even just a little because that's better than anything else can do.
Bakugou doesn't want this to affect their relationship. When he sees Kirishima walk straight past him in the morning without even acknowledging him, his eyes widen in slight fear. This doesn't matter. How does he tell Kirishima that it doesn't matter?
He ends up thanking his lucky stars that he never does.
"What. The fuck," Bakugou states in amazement when he walks onto the training grounds that afternoon to see Kirishima blindfolded as a robot throws things at him. Kirishima quickly pulls down his blindfold and grins at Bakugou, about to call out his name before yelping when he has to duck as the robot throws another thing.
"Wait, wait, wait, stop!"
"I haven't seen you do this kind of training since first year," Bakugou says as the robot does stop and Kirishima fully turns to face him, laughing, and Bakugou silently praises the heavens that Kirishima's not ignoring him anymore. Then he notices everything else. Kirishima's sleeves are covering his arms but Bakugou's eyes wash over his torso, and they narrow when he sees new bruises.
"I asked Mr Aizawa if I could do this for specialised training, I wanna get better at hardening on instinct!"
"Why the blindfold?"
"Because my eyes are closed when I'm sleeping," Kirishima says, asking the robot to start throwing stuff at him again as he pulls his blindfold back up, all while Bakugou stares at him with wide eyes.
"W-What?" he asks quietly, but Kirishima can't hear him by now. He does keep speaking though, yelling over the sound of his hardened arms clanging away stuff, "You want me to!"
"Want you to what?!"
"Stay! I could see it in your eyes, man-"
Kirishima squeaks as he tries to duck but something that looks like a stapler still hits him right in the face, and he groans. But he immediately gets into a stance to prepare for more things, before pausing when nothing comes.
Because Bakugou's crouching behind the robot, hand on the power off button. Then he straightens up, stomps over to Kirishima, and grabs him tight.
"Stop it, you fucking idiot. You are not wasting your training on me!"
Kirishima frowns and bats Bakugou's hands away. "But I want to so it's none of your business."
Bakugou scoffs, eyes growing wide. "None of my- you've really got some fucking nerve!"
"Bakugou, look, if you're having a hard time and I know that I could help you then I'm gonna do everything I can!" Kirishima holds his arms out and Bakugou steps back out of spite but then (horribly, unfairly) Kirishima pouts, making grabby hands. So Bakugou sighs and steps closer again so Kirishima can messily grab his shoulders and grin brightly. "I can't see you right now but I bet you're smiling soooo big. I bet you wanna say 'I love you so much, Kirishima, of course I want you to sleep with me!'"
"Wording," Bakugou growls, way too flustered and Kirishima just snickers which makes Bakugou realise he probably did that on purpose.
"The thing is, I think I helped a little. You seemed so calm, after I...held you?" Kirishima says softly, and Bakugou looks at him warily. "I can't stop, not after that. And I don't want you to be alone, man. Besides, I'd so much rather you hurt me than hurt yourself."
"But I don't want that!" Bakugou says exasperatedly and Kirishima nods.
"That's why I'm training!"
"Ugh..." Bakugou smacks his forehead against Kirishima's, hard, making Kirishima yell. "Stubborn bastard."
"Bakugou," Kirishima says, very, very quietly, like it's only for Bakugou to hear. Bakugou does nothing for a moment, still irritated, but his curiosity has him caving so he grunts. Kirishima's surprised breath (the guy must really be disoriented without his sight) hits his face in return, and it's so warm in the winter cold. "Tell me I can go to your room again tonight."
"No."
"Please-"
"Not- not tonight." Bakugou can't take tonight, not after he hurt Kirishima so recently. The implied 'but maybe some other night' is there clear as day, though, and Bakugou feels Kirishima holds his breath. Then he grabs Bakugou tight, pulling him close as he yells, "Tomorrow!"
"No."
"Day after tomorrow!"
"No."
"DAY AFTER THE DAY AFTER TOM-"
"You'll know when."
"Okay," Kirishima agrees after a beat of silence. "But I'm still gonna come to your balcony tonight, every night, all the nights that I want, and after you let me back into your bed-"
"WORDING-"
"-just know I'm never ever leaving, my dude!"
You know what, fuck this guy. Stubborn bastard indeed.
Bakugou leaves to turn the machine back on, and walks off smirking as he hears Kirishima's yelps again.
It's that Saturday right after their study session that Bakugou drags Kirishima over to his bathroom, kicks him inside and tells him to use the spare toothbrush. There's silence for a moment, and Bakugou does smile 'soooo big' when Kirishima gasps like he's won the lottery.
"I get nightmares sometimes too," Kirishima says when they're in bed, lights off and legs unconsciously tangled together as Kirishima pats at Bakugou's chest.
"No-one cares."
"Rude! I'm being an empathetic wonder and this is your reaction, wow."
"You can't empathise with my nightmares."
Kirishima hums. Then his hands rise to grab Bakugou's face. Or well, the gentle version of grab, Bakugou doesn't know the word for it. They cup his cheeks and Bakugou peers at Kirishima curiously.
"Are they loud? And mean?"
That sounds so childish. But Bakugou still finds himself curling into himself a little, nodding, and Kirishima huffs, wrapping one arm around Bakugou's back. "I'd protect you from everything ever if I could."
"You're so cute, thinking I need protecting," Bakugou drawls making Kirishima burst into surprised laughter.
"Damn, okay then sir, forget that. I do think everyone deserves to have the option of being protected, though, even those who protect. Like a chain. Who protects civilians? Heroes. Who protects heroes? Well, other heroes."
"Who protects Red Riot?" Bakugou murmurs, eyes slipping closed. "It better be me."
"'Course it's you. You protect my mind, my heart AND my body!" Kirishima says determinedly, pumping a fist, and Bakugou has no idea what he's talking about. But it sounds nice. Protecting Kirishima sounds perfect.
"I like that."
"Yeah?" Kirishima's hand squishes Bakugou's cheeks gently before leaving to find one of his hands, pressing flat against it when it does. "So I'd like protecting you, too."
Oh. Bakugou gets it.
"Do what you want."
Kirishima cheers as bright as bloody ever as Bakugou gently interlocks their fingers, and they fall asleep facing each other, noses brushing. For about two hours, tops, before Bakugou's exploding again, Kirishima can't harden in time, he's running out of the room yelling, "LET'S TRY AGAIN SOON, BAKUGOU!", and Bakugou grits his teeth in frustration as he kicks his bed.
Fuck this, fuck this, fuck this, this isn't fair, he wants Kirishima to stay but he needs him to stay away, why does Kirishima keep wanting to come back when Bakugou's dangerous? Why is he such an idiot?
How can he like Bakugou this much?
He asks himself that question every night that they try again. Because he's too sweet on this stupid, stupid guy to cast him away completely, too weak to the way he looks when he stares up at the stars just a balcony way and says kind things wrapped up in terrible jokes and laughs so fucking warmly in the dark.
Bakugou forgets to be too scared to sleep when Kirishima's there.
There hasn't been a night yet where Kirishima's been able to stay the whole time, but he's still doing the training. Bakugou even hears about Kirishima getting Pikachu to electric-shock him while he'd nap at lunch, which was so fucking stupid and Bakugou runs to the classroom to barge in and yell at Kirishima to stop this madness right now, but he pauses when he gets there and sees Kirishima gasping, "Really?!" at Pikachu who nods excitedly, and Kirishima looks so happy as he hollers and runs at Pikachu to hug him tight. Bakugou watches in confused wonder, and that's when Kirishima looks up and catches sight of Bakugou, making his eyes sparkle as he lights up.
"BAKUGOU!" Kirishima runs over to him and takes hold of his hands, grinning at a million watts. "Kami electrocuted me while I was sleeping and I hardened! On instinct! While I was sleeping!"
"And he was definitely asleep, he had a snot bubble and everything," Pikachu clarifies, smiling at them as he came over. "And I don't know what this is about but I'm rooting for you guys."
"I'd already been getting better at reacting quickly every night, right? Now it's gonna be revolutionary," Kirishima says, and his eyes have a whole sky of stars in them. For the second time Bakugou thinks he's such an enigma. Bakugou can't understand him.
He wants to, wants to understand every little thing about his idiot but he can't understand why he works so hard to make sure he can just sleep beside Bakugou. When in a year they won't even need to do that anymore, because they'll be out of UA, they won't be together anymore.
Bakugou can kid himself that Kirishima's mostly doing this for the overall gain of being able to react well when attacked in his sleep. He's said as much but Kirishima had gaped at him, making Bakugou yell, "YOU DIDN'T REALISE THAT?!' and not to mention the way Kirishima always looks so excited just for Bakugou says otherwise.
That night, Kirishima falls asleep before Bakugou. It's rare, because Bakugou gets sleepy at nine pm no fail, but he just...has thoughts on his mind tonight.
He hopes it's not creepy to trace a hand down Kirishima's arm, like Kirishima does to him sometimes, and ever so gently he pops the tiniest of explosions along his fingers. And Kirishima's skin hardens.
Bakugou thinks for a fleeting second that it's pretty, watching the small lit sparks rebound and fizzle red. Then he's thinking that Kirishima's really done it. He's able to harden for something as small as that.
"You're. Fucking amazing," Bakugou mutters. His fingers hover over Kirishima's chest, where he's taken so many blows in his blindfolded training. Kirishima had told him one day that it wasn't that effective, because he was subconsciously listening out for the sound and presence of the object coming his way, and he couldn't do that when he was asleep. But Bakugou had told him to keep doing it.
"Not everything's about the sleep thing. This'll help heighten your senses for when you're in battle. Trust me."
Kirishima had been all starry-eyed again as he clenched his fists, grinning before he nodded.
"Diligent," Bakugou hums as he presses his lips to a bruise on Kirishima's arm, "beautiful," he kisses a bruise on Kirishima's clavicle, "idiot." He kisses a big bruise on Kirishima's forehead that he's been covering with a bandana lately. "You've become this cool just because you wanna sleep with me."
"Wording," a gravelly voice rasps, and Bakugou blinks as Kirishima chuckles, cracking open one eye. "It's hard to stay asleep when you're all over me, bro."
Bakugou's flustered for all but a second, raising an eyebrow. "You're usually way worse."
"I don't kiss you! I didn't know that was on the cards!"
Bakugou burns as red as Kirishima's hair, opening his mouth even though he doesn't know what to fucking say but it doesn't seem to matter as Kirishima takes his hand and kisses the inside of his palm.
"I'm gonna be doing that," Kirishima says, looking at Bakugou's hands fondly, "a lot."
Bakugou believes him. And it's incredible. And scary. Thinking of his hands, big scarred-over hands that have all his power coiled up inside them, being cherished. By a guy he thinks he might cherish .
That night, he doesn't have a nightmare. Instead he has a dream that he skips class for the first time ever to kiss Kirishima in an empty classroom, and they get so excited that sparks fall and skin hardens by accident, and they laugh against each other because they're perfectly fine.
-
Bakugou's realised, Kirishima shines bright always. But brightest when it's dark. When someone's in pain, when someone's down, when someone needs help, Kirishima's glow isn't blinding but soft in how it leads the way to better.
"That's what you do," Bakugou says, alone for once one night on his balcony (Kirishima's having a movie marathon with Pikachu), looking up at the night sky. And talking to the moon. "You light the way for those who need you."
Bakugou's about to crush whoever's ever said Kirishima was a damn sun. Thank God he's never thought that, obviously (obviously!) because Kirishima's the moon.
Bakugou might be a little bit in love with the moon.
-
It's a while until he sees Kirishima at night again. He worries if he's done something wrong but that's dumb because he still gets Kirishima during the day, as loud and sweet as always. But it's not like Bakugou cares, really? Maybe.
Because now he's already accustomed to being a little more settled than he usually is at night. Even if Kirishima's not physically there, Bakugou still feels warmer, and it's easier to close his eyes and not see the things his brain creates to hurt him. And if he misses Kirishima, he can just go outside for a little while and look at the moon.
But less than a week later, Kirishima's crashing into his room right after Bakugou comes back from a shower, a wild grin on his face as he points at Bakugou and says, "You!"
"Me," Bakugou deadpans, ignoring the way his heart is rising at the sight of the guy as he throws the towel on his head to the side. "Haven't seen you for a while."
"Wha- you saw me just a few hours a- ohhh, you mean at night."
"Surprised you got that so quickly."
Kirishima smacks Bakugou with the shark pillow he brought and Bakugou snickers.
"I was waiting for you to come to me at least once! This is a two-way relationship. But then I realised you probably just didn't realise," Kirishima shrugs, making Bakugou's eyes widen as he turns to try and defend himself but Kirishima captures him into a hug instantly. All Bakugou can do is melt.
"Sorry. I should've said something instead of just assumed you'd know to come," Kirishima says softly, and that makes Bakugou grimace.
"Why the fuck are you apologising. I should've known-"
"No, you like words," Kirishima assures. "I know. Social cues aren't your thing."
"I'll get better," Bakugou insists, and Kirishima grins, puffing his chest as he quotes, "'You're getting better every day,'" and bursts into laughter when Bakugou thwacks his head. Before taking hold of Kirishima's hand, and dragging him back towards his bed.
"Already? O-Oh, okay," Kirishima agrees with a slight flush on his cheeks and Bakugou raises an eyebrow at him. Bakugou always sleeps right after any showers he takes at night, what did Kirishima expect?
And it's so fucking warm, as they fall into each other, entangling limbs not even on purpose as Kirishima's hand gently pats Bakugou's hair. Bakugou wants to ask why, but he doesn't want it to stop, and apparently pushing his head into it doesn't relay a question but makes Kirishima do it more.
Bakugou's heart's about to give out from how much it wants to beat so fast from love but also calm down from the soft touches and warmth. He always gets so apprehensive when Kirishima rests his head on Bakugou's chest because then he can feel that embarrassing shit but Kirishima usually just...listens.
"You okay?" Kirishima asks this time, making Bakugou wince. But he croaks out a, "Yeah," and Kirishima takes his word for it. And good thing, 'cause watching him close his eyes at the affirmation and breathe out gently ends up giving Bakugou all the calm he needs.
"Woah," Kirishima says in awe when Bakugou tells him his thoughts about the moon the next night. He's slightly curled into Bakugou's side like a cat and Bakugou watches him amusedly, an arm around the guy's shoulders letting him mindlessly fiddle with Kirishima's hair.
"Woah what?"
"I mean that makes a tonna sense, dude. The moon's so pretty 'n all. I just didn't expect you to...say something so poetic!"
It's not that poetic, being in love with the moon. It's just always right in front of Bakugou's eyes, and he doesn't think in sonnets when he sees Kirishima, he feels like a caveman when his blank mind can usually only come up with 'bright' and 'pretty'.
"Anyone who doesn't like the moon is dumb."
"You're right!" Kirishima laughs, and Bakugou can't wait for the day where he can replace 'the moon' with 'you' and have Kirishima reply exactly the same way. "What?"
"What," Bakugou replies distractedly, before blinking when Kirishima grabs his face, eyebrows furrowed so hard.
"What did you just say?"
"Anyone who doesn't like-"
"No. After that. You - what do you mean replace the moon with me?"
Bakugou narrowed his eyes. "Who gave you a mind-reading quirk."
"No, you said it out loud! You- the moon - what did you say, anyone who doesn't like the moon is dumb, anyone who doesn't like...me...is dumb...you're in love with the moon, you're in love with..."
"I wasn't talking about that last part," Bakugou says quickly, shooting up into a sitting position but Kirishima's already staring at him with eyes alight and now, oh fuck, now he's panicking. "The second part, sure, I'd fuck up anyone who doesn't like you but I-I'm not-"
He can't finish the sentence, and Kirishima gasps, pointing and yelling, "That's your tell! You hate lying so you pause before you finish the lie, you- ADMIT YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH ME!"
"WHAT THE HELL, WHY?!" Bakugou yells, very confused as to where this conversation has gone as Kirishima grabs his shoulders, shaking him about.
"COME ON, YOU CAN SAY IT!"
"WHY DO I NEED TO SAY IT?!"
"'CAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!"
"WHAT-" Bakugou cuts himself off because this is getting too fucking absurd, and he knocks Kirishima back onto the bed to get him to stop. Kirishima yells as he hits the bed but it seems to do the trick of snapping him out of whatever the fuck's possessed him because he falls silent, then blinks.
"Oh. I went into support mode."
"NO SHIT!"
Kirishima turns so red that it can't be possible, his arms quickly raising to hide his mortified face. "God...I-I just forgot what the topic was about...I just yelled 'admit you're in love with me' in someone's face..."
"Yeah. That was bloody weird. But, the fact that you believe that I could be in love with you is...good. The self-esteem behind that, it's good," Bakugou says, not sure if he's making sense to anyone but himself, but Kirishima peeks out from behind his arms as Bakugou leans down closer. "And you're right."
"Huh?"
"You're the moon."
Bakugou takes hold of Kirishima's arms and tugged them away, revealing Kirishima's wonderstruck face fit with sparkling eyes and a mouth open wide in shock.
"To me," Bakugou manages to get out breathlessly before Kirishima's grabbing his face, and kissing him. Or, well, trying to kiss him, their noses bump first, then foreheads, and Bakugou's too busy panicking internally to tell Kirishima they don't need to do this until the guy manages to plant one messy, barely-there, gentle press to the corner of his lips.
"I-I'll work on that," Kirishima gasps as he knocks their foreheads together, on purpose this time, laughing way too loud while he keeps his eyes closed and Bakugou watches him in such amazement. Because somehow, for all the thoughts that have been plaguing him these past months, he's really never seen Kirishima look this bright.
"Are you for real? Like for real real? You're not some fallen star or clump of moondust or something?" Bakugou asks in genuine stupefaction, making Kirishima flush pink and moondust probably doesn't have blood but Bakugou can't believe Kirishima's just human.
"No way, I'm real, man. I'm very real," Kirishima replies, smiling uncontrollably even though he seems shy. "And I very really love you too."
"You're gross. Everything you say is gross," Bakugou says fondly as he leans in and he cuts off Kirishima when he's the middle of yelling "YOU WERE THE ONE WHO JUST ASKED IF I WAS A FALLEN STAR" and kisses him. Their lips lock for real this time, still whisper-soft but unbelievably warm. Bakugou gets hot chills.
"Ohhh, that- that one was the one," Kirishima hums dizzily once it was done, and Bakugou has to agree. "Oh man...if I faint can you just catch me real quick-"
"Yeah, you'd love that," Bakugou snorts as he lets Kirishima fall when he faux-swoons, and Kirishima gasps his betrayal. "Come on, moon-"
"WE COULD BE A SUN AND MOON DUO!" Kirishima suddenly yells, scrabbling to sit up. "Bakugou, I'm gonna find out a way to equate you to the sun or so help me-"
"Holy fuck, Kirishima, I am the farthest thing from-"
"I found one!"
"The hell...that was fast," Bakugou says curiously while Kirishima flops onto him again, and Bakugou expects something about how bright his explosions are when Kirishima beams proudly.
But no, instead he says, "You give me life."
Kirishima's laughter probably wakes up the whole floor when Bakugou has to shakily pull up the covers to hide his burning face.
As time passes, everything grows. The nightmares don't stop, Bakugou doesn't think they ever will, but they're not every night now. It gets easier to fight the demons of his past, because he tells himself he's strong and better and growing and he'll blast the world away if he needs to.
And if he goes too far? Hands will press against his and a voice will whisper-cheer, "Go get 'em, Blasty!" Even though the nightmare's over and he'll be awake by then so there's no longer anyone to get - but it makes Bakugou laugh as he says a sleepy, happy, "Fuck yeah."
Bakugou starts turning off Kirishima's throwing machine whenever he's doing that practice so he can run to him stealthily and kiss him while he's blindfolded. He loves it because it has three stages: Kirishima yells, then recognises, then melts. His hands clasp at Bakugou who guides them where they want to go, and he holds Kirishima tight too.
Maybe Kirishima knew that Bakugou would start realising that he wants to have forever with him. Maybe that's why he tried so hard to learn how to sleep beside Bakugou.
Either way, he's thankful as fuck for all the things Kirishima does. For how hard he tries to brighten the bad parts of Bakugou's life. How one touch has Bakugou feeling safe, feeling like everything could be okay one day if things are finally starting to get better. And every morning that he wakes up to Kirishima either hanging off the bed or slung over Bakugou's stomach or snuggling into his chest, Bakugou just marvels in it, basks in moonlight no matter the hour as he rests his face in red hair and breathes his boyfriend in.
Bakugou's so in love with the moon. And it's crazy to think something that seems so out of reach is right in his arms, lighting his way, and loving him back.