Chapter Text
After the ghost of Lena's grip withdraws from her hand—their first genuine contact in way too many ages—Kara realises that she has been starving for that touch for as long as she can remember.
A new, fulfilling hope blossoms within her boundaries, bathing her in melancholy and yearning that almost drives her to wrap her arms around Lena, but the memories of the last few months ingrained in her night terrors nail her heels to the ground before she can flesh out her vivid dreams.
That night, the mattress is softer as she sinks into it and into the lightness of her chest. The tons of guilt and regret that flood her since that atrocious revelation in the Fortress finally dwindle to the average feeling of not belonging that’s a chip on her shoulder since her pod crossed the borders of Earth without permission.
Mornings, too, gleam in over-saturated colour below her as she soars through the globe. The ripples of the ocean are more blue, the mountains are greener as she lowers her height and fingers brush the sprinkled lawn—that distinct hue makes her long for the identical shade waiting for her at home—and life is seven tones of rainbow again.
Having Lena by her side is exhilarating. To turn around knowing that she’s a permanent fixture every step of the way injects Kara with an itch to return to the labs and, carrying bags of food, she is on top of the world.
The quarter’s doors open before her and pale eyebrows crease in a bitter curve as she watches Lena check Brainy's signs, alone and away from the rest of the team, as if they were children and she had been exiled from the playground.
Kara floats to her like bounded by a spell, dying to get a closer look.
She still can't commit to one reason alone; maybe Lena has clicked on Nia's latest articles, or there’s the infinitesimal chance she grew tired of the uncomfortable attire that is a bit too much to be locked in a lab, but now she seems to be a proud tight fitting jeans advocate, woven on her silhouette and threaded to her hips by a belt with two golden interlocked C’s as the buckle.
It makes her mouth water, even if all moisture travels south.
"Morning, you." Kara reveals a small, grease-stained box from the bag. To her surprise, ice frost didn’t ruin the pastries after crossing the Atlantic at severe Mach extrapolations. "Someone in Champs-Élysées yelled merde at me like three times after I bought the last coffee eclairs. I’m thankful I picked some french from you or I would have said good afternoon right back," she says, chuckling. A paper cup is placed next to the keyboard Lena is currently stabbing. "Your cappuccino, straight out of Pavé."
"Thank you." It's clipped. Not much to swoon over, but plenty to overanalyze.
Kara wishes she could linger and ask silly questions like before if only to elate exasperated smiles from her, she’s dying to find the perfect words to smooth out the grimace marring Lena’s pretty face but her thesaurus seems to have perished, its L section gone with it.
The wound has yet to stop burning red, and she doesn't trust her ability to appease Lena’s distress, so she just takes her word and steps away.
Drinks half sipped, Nia is the objective of their attention as she shifts, asleep on her stool. And Alex has warned Kara hundreds of times that she shouldn't rush to pull someone out of REM reels, but years of being betrayed in the middle of the night by her own midnight monsters makes her heart race with antsy agony.
"I saw them, but I… it was blurry," Nia says once she shots up-right, breathing hard. The dark circles under her eyes are more prominent than they were the night before. "There were rows of capsules– like oxygen chambers? This place is familiar.”
"Lockwood’s Steel Factory?" Kara asks, cupping her hip while the empty hand reaches for her hair, tucking a lock of now-too-long bangs behind her ear. "Those were the capsules Ben used when he was holding Lena and Coville hostage in–" her lips sew close, and she walks the wise path of ignoring Lena, standing next to her, when she looks at her with perplexity written all over her face.
There are some times when Kara forgets Lena is still unfamiliar with the most important pieces of their panoramic puzzle.
"No," J'onn intervenes, arms folded over the heavy armor of his own suit. "That’s Amertek’s energy refinery, where we stopped the launch of Claymore against Argo."
At the mention of that particular wraith, Kara halts in record time as she realizes where her hand is headed. Physical contact is a far concept and she doesn’t know if it’s allowed, so she will let Lena make that decision for them. It’s only fair. But she still tries to make her comfortable by leaning her body towards her.
Not knowing where they stand sucks.
She finds Alex, Kelly and M'gann staring at her when her eyes wander up. Her throat stings as she clears it. "Shelley Island? I'll head there, there's a chance I can find them.”
"It's too dangerous," Nia warns, "we have no idea if Lex has upped security since then.”
"It wouldn't be the first time the odds of dying on that island are against me." Kara shrugs, the newcomers go wide eyed. Damned be the missing pieces. "Oh! No– it was just a warm-up drill, nothing new. In fact, your brother got me out of there, perfect timing," she speaks to Kelly.
"Do you even know the way in?"
Nia’s question is clear, crystal and concise in its delivery. The answer... not so much.
She knows, or at least can feel, the familiarity of this place. Were she there, the ins and outs would come without a hitch, but the knowledge doesn’t belong to her, the images in her mind are alien to Kara.
Then the fog clears up.
"I guess I don’t, but Red Daughter did.” Kara deflates. Her sister pulls her out of her self-absorption by pulling her into a lighthearted hug around her shoulders.
"Dreamer, who's there with him?" Alex demands.
"A tall woman. Narcissa Malfoy vibes."
She hates that it takes her by surprise.
Lillian Luthor is a plague she struggles to keep Lena away from, but Kara has the sneaky suspicion that before that damned crisis wiped out their efforts and rose Lex from the dead, Lena and the evil matriarch were two signatures away from the ceasefire.
But it's oh so, so hard to detach someone from their nature if it’s their roots that are rotten.
Kara hates that it’s Lena who has to take the punch to the gut, to endure the misfortunes of getting a cursed second chance.
"Lillian, of course it's her," Lena finally speaks, "I should have known Lex wouldn't dare plan world domination without mommy dearest.” The pout that follows her words is quite distracting.
”Let’s split up, then.” Alex nods. “Kelly, Dreamer and M'gann are coming with me to Leviathan’s ship. Kara, J'onn and Lena, Amertek is all yours."
"No. Lena goes with you." Shoulders taut and chin raised high, Kara utters the words, leaving no room for further discussion.
The last thing she wants at the moment is for Lena to have to face her family.
It’s not that Kara fears she will bail and leave them stranded. She trusts Lena and, so far, she’s come through. But that hideous duo isn’t acquainted with any kind of guilt—they don’t have a conscience which remorse could eat away at if Lena were to get hurt.
And if something were to happen to her... the bare thought makes her temples throb, like a screw that has been tightened too many times. It's rocks and glass in her throat as she tries to digest it.
"This is a fact-finding mission, Kara. We won’t be facing the big, bald guy yet."
"Yeah, but Brainy used the Shrink Code with Leviathan. There's probably no one at the ship, what with Gamemnae–" she employs her hands for emphasis–"going boom.”
M'gann raises to her feet and walks over to them. "Security protocols must be on. When we got him out of there, it took J'onn and me days to get back our strength."
"And Brainy is still recovering," Kelly reminds them. It’s impossible to forget.
After the sacrifice attempt from his side, the Martians managed to breach the cloaking tech and rescue Brainy's inert body just in time. When they brought him to the lab, it took Lena and Alex a blink of an eye to link his inhibitors to an EEG through electrodes to record his brain activity. But mornings, days and late nights of research have brought no improvements to the table.
Nothing seems to work.
Brainy meant well when he made the sentient choice to work with Lex, even if his methods weren’t his finest repertoire.
But that’s the thing.
It has been a year of trying when the sun burns and failing when the moon soothes, for all of them. They have been careless, made easy mistakes siphoned from fear, it’s noticeable in the way there’s a severe ridge poking its dirty claws into the tender wounds they managed to open—some deeper than others—and riving the quaint, little family.
In the same lines of messing things up by own accord, the impulse to be better and break through destructive patterns is greater than everything they know, and Brainy found a way to help them and trick Lex at the same time.
And even if there is hope waiting for them on the other side, consequences affix Brainy, unconscious on a stretcher and Kara sees the exact second Lena and Nia sync and look down, guilt blinding their features.
"It's still safer," she retorts, "Lex has the Element Benders at the snap of a bottle, and we're rendered powerless on the island. If something happens there, I won't– we won't be able to protect Lena. If she comes with you instead, she can find a way to counteract the radiation from the shield.”
Kara makes nothing out of the knowing look Nia and Alex share. There’s no universe where she doesn’t put the safety of the people she loves first. It isn’t unexpected. Why would they act as if it was?
"Lena's here, and she has a vote," she avows for herself, "but I agree. I've seen my brother use an anti-radiation pin with the symbol of Leviathan on it, I assume they gave it to him before he pulled a Lex-esque stratagem and betrayed them. I built this… just in case." Lena bends down to retrieve a metal box, gently removes the lid and takes another step to hand it over. Kara sucks on a breath as the light brush of a hand against her abdomen sends an erratic alert to her brain. Crimson clouds hover on their cheeks at the graze of nervous fingers.
Kara’s always known her best friend is beautiful; something out of Baroque, evoking in its dark dramatism and yet so effortlessly captivating—but that’s just her friendly bid. And now, her heart skyrockets into an erratic thumping whenever Lena gets close, words hitch in her throat if forest green drills certain looks in a certain way, and Kara has to reign it in before the speed of her trembling fingers sends them flying. It’s rather… new, but no bother at all.
She’s only wondering where it comes from.
Perhaps it's the contrast between the lack of apprehension when they first met and the fact that Kara has no idea how to handle the recent development of almost going back to being strangers—not knowing what’s right or wrong in this new game of push and pull. She is walking on eggshells, and fears the first crack will take them back to square one.
Their own warpath cracked the bricks of their foundation, leaving them unsteady and fighting to gain back some sense of balance in the turmoil. A domino effect of cosmic scales that was hindered before they joined Icarus in the destruction of their own wings.
It’s like all the layers they have yet to peel will come back stained with some brand new revelations when they eventually dive into the exhaustive study of their friendship. Like, now that they flew too close to the sun and decided that stepping into the daylight was a wiser idea, the lens will magnify its reflection and answers are going to glare back at them in the silhouette of some long awaited cognizance…
Kara can’t figure it out.
"What's this thingy, again?" Kara rushes, out of breath.
"It'll collect all written code from devices powered by any form of energy within a mile ratio. Attach it to a straight surface if Lex is nearby and press the button until the blue light comes on,” she elaborates, glued to her side. “When you bring it back to me, I'll isolate the pin's data and use it for duplication.”
It's wildly embarrassing when Alex has to tap Kara’s chin lest she dislodges her slack jaw.
Odds seem to be laden with Lex’s proud display of the upper hand right now. There’s no exact goal, they don’t even know what they’re looking for. It’s digging for air and answers to questions that haven't been asked yet. But Kara’s the first to stand up; a beacon of hope amidst the sea of doubt.
Nia sends them off with a speech, troubled farewells and an unspoken pleading for them to find something. Anything would work.
Through a maze of seats, the cape flutters behind Kara as she heads for the door. Tendrils of sacred heat stop her, and if the rush of blood is anything to go by, she bids it's Lena.
"Be careful."
"Always am," she assures, a cocky smirk set firm in place. "Besides, I’m not leaving unshielded. It’s no every single day that a world saving genius makes you a suit.” Kara taps her chest twice, and it’s empty when her heart escapes to hang onto the exasperated smile Lena does offer her.
"And I trust my technology. But this is Lex we're talking about, you never know what he's got up his sleeve.”
If there's a reason apart from her innate courage that Kara is taking the leap head first, it's she doesn’t fear what Lex might be capable of now that Lena has her back.
"There's no need to worry, Ms. Luthor." J'onn approaches them. The pathetic whimper stays home after Lena drops her hand. "I'll take care of Supergirl when she inevitably runs into danger."
That is a blatant misconception. Kara is known for her perfect plans. She follows every step and reaches impeccable excellence. It's not her fault if others can’t take the hint.
The laughter that comes after a grumble is shy as she gazes at Lena again, promising that there is, really, no need to worry, that she is invulnerable after all.
It’s impossible for her to notice the way Lena revels in anguish severe minutes after they leave.
By the time Kara returns, alone, the blanket of night has already obscured everything on andits path, and the lack of light input isn’t helping, making it impossible to feel the right turns if not for her increased vision. She paces, wearing holes in the concrete while she waits for a sign in the intricate path of hallways leading to Luthor Corp’s underground floors.
In another life, Kara would have walked right in without reserves, waiting and toying with Lena's prototype of the week until she showed up with dinner and a stern warning to leave that on the table if you want to keep your eyebrows
But the past is the past, and it's useless to cry over spilt milk.
She and J'onn found nothing. Shelley was devoid of Luthors or any device that would give them clues. Worst of all, the island did take away their powers, leaving them adrift with human–level strength and senses. Kara can still feel the strain on her leg muscles as she leans against a wall and waits, frustration has her swerving, chasing her own tail.
Familiar, grounding heartbeats don’t take long to make the last turn to where she is stationed, thrilled when her eyes meet Lena’s, the rest of the team walking behind her. Lena consents as Kara gestures to the door.
It's dark, and the room only comes to life when it reads their heat signatures. Nia shuffles to the far corner of the lab, where J'onn and M'gann assembled two hibernation chambers, and sits next to the one Brainy inhabits.
"Where is J'onn?" M'gann asks.
Kara swirls in her heels, blinking when she takes her eyes off Nia, crest-fallen as the ring of light above them punctuates her ex’s state. "He's buying us snacks, won’t take long.”
It is Lena who, this time, pads across the room until she stands to Kara‘s side. A screen of faux serenity veneers the uneasiness, but Kara’s grown to be an expert in the field of twitching brows and lips and gives a soothing grin in the hopes of appeasing before they hover over the device on the desk as Lena quietly searches for solutions. "From what we saw there, I think that the Staff of the Shadow World works thanks to residual electromagnetic radiation from the cosmic microwave background. Rama Khan has been here since the beginning of time, so it wouldn’t be a surprise," she points out, the whisper carries an echo as it grazes the stilted silence.
"If that is the case, the Staff probably powers the shield Brainy was exposed to,” M'gann suggests, standing guard by the door.
Alex stares at the screens drilled into the wide post, tucked into herself as she reads the scans. A bucket of cold water drips down Kara’s back, the guilt tastes like sand in her mouth after not having noticed the state of unrest her sister is immersed in.
"I ran all kinds of tests," she mumbles, fidgety, and her thumb goes to her eyebrow in an involuntary spam Kara hasn't seen in months. "There are no traces of radiation sickness, not even CRI from the exposure. No burns, no hair loss. Tissues and organs were not compromised, and the ionization didn’t reach his cells. His genetic material remains the same. How come he won’t just wake up?" her voice breaks when the last finger ticks off.
There’s an all too common despair to her, and Kara’s heart swells when Lena sends a gentle curl of her lips in her direction. "Brainy is a synthetic being, health effects won't show up the way they do in humans.”
"He comes from the future, I'm sure they know how to fix this. " Kara’s arms open, pointing to the med bay where Brainy is floating aimlessly in the cryo chamber. "But it's not like we can ask him."
Were things different, were it anyone else in the world, Kara is sure that Brainy, along with Lena, would have figured out how to fix this by now. But he's not here, and Earth’s engineering—future or present—is a far cry from the science she mastered on Krypton.
She is getting more frustrated by the second.
"In the meantime, what we can do is brainstorm. Have you heard of the black hole information paradox? The theory of relativity says that the gravity of a black hole is so intense nothing can escape it, not even light. So, naturally, information that goes in would be irretrievably lost," Lena says, and Kara takes the tablet before she can stop her.
Physics, she can work with.
"Yeah, and Hawking radiation basically says quantum information in a black hole may as well be destroyed. Not the most zealous stance," she snaps, regretting the moment the words leave her mouth when Lena nearly dislocates her neck to glare at her.
The roll of her eyes is so acute that her sockets complain, and Kara’s pettiness fades into pitiness.
Lena snatches the tablet from her hands and she doesn't know whether to be offended by the action or grateful because she no longer has to face the reality that her friend's life is hanging by a thread.
"I'm taking a different approach here, Supergirl," Lena hisses. That’s a low blow . "There's a postulated solution proposing that information is out of sight, but remains encoded in the event horizon.”
"So, my ex is a space balloon," Nia says, a new addition to the discussion.
Kara doesn't have it in her heart to smother the laugh that bubbles up out of her, and is rewarded by equivalent awkward sounds .
"We induced Brainy into a coma when activity ceased. As a physical entity, he stopped working, all except his neural oscillations, but those have shown the same patterns for weeks," Lena insists, sighing. "Right now, he's an information system in a black hole, stuck in the space-time boundary.”
Kara raises herself onto the tips of her boots, floating an inch off the ground so she can get a glimpse of the device Lena is holding. Wide eyed, her heart races with the first tendrils of understanding weaving into her synapses.
"If the source of radiation in the ship is the same as on the Staff, when Brainy used the code–"
"He knew that the exposure could kill him, and thus, manipulated the code so that it would also capture him in the bottle. Mind and soul, Brainy is trapped with Leviathan."
It dawns on them like drops of acid rain.
The area designated for the med bay is rather large, placing the chambers into two equal-sized rectangles, and Kelly appears through the slats of distance between them, features distorted on the other side of the glass. She saunters over to Alex and rests a hand on her nape, kneading the knots there, before wrapping it around her waist. Alex sighs and leans into the touch.
"If we get the bottle, we get Brainy back?" Kelly asks Lena.
"In part, yes. But it’s not that easy. There are no other universes to jump into anymore, so he must be stuck in a dimension of his own making. A loop, any place in the world his mind concocted to make him feel safe.”
Kara has been there. She's been through dream worlds more times than should be acceptable. The helplessness of not knowing what is real and what is not, what is just a cruel figment of her imagination and what will be there when she opens her eyes from the astral journey... living in self-designed alternatives is not as pretty as it sounds.
Alex voices what Kara’s thinking. "We have to get him out of there before he gets attached to it.”
"I'll do it. Whatever it takes." Nia raises to her feet and stops as she reaches the round table, smiling as Kara grabs her shoulder.
"I understand you want to, I do. But you are half human, the risk is still too great,” Lena says.
"This is like when Reign put you in a coma. All-over-again." Alex growls, looking at Kara.
Oh, yeah. That was a nasty one.
She sees the five seconds it takes Lena to suck in a ragged breath, stand taut as a willow tree trunk and put on the mask when the picture is seared into her mind without any warning. Sees the exact moment the dots connect to form a stark truth.
"It's only fair that I do it," Kara urges, then, raking a hand through her hair. She would have to ask Alex to cut it soon. "But Brainy is trained in 31st century psychotherapy, how can I compete when all I have are my sappy pep talks?”
"Don't sell yourself short, you brought half of humanity out of a virtual reality.” Kelly laughs when Kara blushes due the praise. “When the time comes, I'll guide you. I happen to have plenty of experience in bringing people out of alternate realities, too."
"Well, let’s get Brainy back.” It’s Nia who sets the stone.
Minutes later, J'onn walks through the door with crinkled eyes when M'gann, who hadn't left the door to make sure he came back, offers to relieve him from some of the bags in his hands. He pivots, the smile on his face turning downward when the atmosphere seems to wash over him. "Did I miss something?"
While M'gann explains to J’onn what they discussed during his absence, Kelly and Alex huddle in a corner, whispering soft assurances, and Nia is once again glued to her chair in front of Brainy. The role assignment, the awkward comparison, bugs Kara as she makes her own way to Lena.
"Hey." She greets with a smile that bursts into a star when she’s rewarded with a smaller one. "You did an amazing job there. We couldn't have done this without you.”
She crosses her arms over her chest and lowers her head, before looking straight ahead. "I've been cooped up down here for too long, getting life advice from no other than Lex… is weird that I missed this? I just wish it was under better circumstances.”
"What do you mean?"
"Kara, don’t get me wrong but I don't trust anyone in this room but you, and that's something we still have to work on."
Right.
"We'll stop them, we have to." Kara sighs, not daring to take a glance at her. "I've been meaning to ask you, do you think Lex knows that you and I are–"
"No, I've made sure of it. But it’s good to take preventive measures, that's why–" her hands twist in the air–"this whole scheme. Better safe than sorry, you never know who might snitch.”
"I'm sorry The Tower is not fit for this. I've wanted to show it to you, it's the coolest place."
"I’m sure the day will come.”
That’s the only thing that keeps her going.
"Is your apartment safe?" Kara blurts out, not knowing which way to turn, but aware that she doesn't want this conversation to end. "I mean, they know where you live and– well… you always seem to have a target on your back."
"I have the most intricate security system in the world, and a Super is my security detail, I think I'll manage," Lena taunts, cute and overconfident. The gleam in her eyes below the septic light is ethereal and her whole face smiles, bringing a little bit of life back to Kara.
Her fingertips tingle with the longing to touch Lena's. "Ha, you sure? I land on your balcony whenever I feel like it and I’m still in one piece,” she brags, but shuts up when Lena fixes her with an obvious look. " Oh ."
"You are the only one who uses the balcony as an entrance. To be honest, I think it was me always leaving the door open expecting you to… I don’t know, come back, I guess."
It's a confession intended to make amends on a familiar subject, there is no hidden agenda, and she knows it.
She can’t quiet down the violent flips of her stomach.
The opportunity to hog the balcony as many times as possible was presented and taken, but she never dared to take a step past the glass doors, afraid that if she did, if she crossed that invisible border and broke into Lena’s sanctuary, Lena would have changed her mind and decided she never wanted to see her again the next time Kara landed on ashen tiles.
Then, when it actually happened, it was Kara who took it upon herself to dig deeper into her own ditch.
"I did, and called you a villain.”
"It's okay, you weren’t far away from the truth."
Kara takes half a step closer, only because there’s no more room to cover. "You know that’s not true. I was an idiot and shouldn’t have said that, but I was so hurt and Mxyzptlk offered to–"
"Mxy– what? " there's the urge to pepper her puckered brows with kisses and Kara gulps it down because where does that keep coming from?
"Mxyzptlk. It's a long story, and when this is all over, I swear I will give you answers. We made mistakes, Lena, but there's nothing I want more than to make it up to you.”
Lena nods, looking at her. "When the time’s right."
It takes them a couple weeks to come up with something; planning and drafting until their next move is crystal clear.
Pretty simple, in fact. Established in five calculated steps that were studied to exhaustion.
Take the team to Shelley Island. Turn off the rods that dampen their powers. Get to the Luthors–Probably fight the least likable Luthor–Find out what to do with the Luthors once detained. Make it out in one piece. It's a hasty summary, and she's sure she's forgetting something, but it’s easy, almost like taking candy from a baby—if she were the kind of person who would do that.
She has been Earth’s champion for half a decade; has faced any number of villains whose only goal is to wipe her off the face of the planet, fought family members, Daxamites, Worldkillers, and stopped more than one crisis doomed to let humanity spiral into cataclysm.
Lex Luthor is not so different.
She knows, no matter the outcome, the conclusion of this confrontation will leave an imprint that she will carry with her for the rest of her long life. It’s a necessary evil.
She lived it once before, thinking that she had truly freed the world from that egomaniacal burden, but the truth exploded in her face, and she is still picking shrapnels from her ribcage.
It is only fair that she gets to rejoice in the chance of seeing his face twist in fury as he realizes that he has been defeated.
But Kara is paralyzed by fear.
Her mind is trained against hat. She dons the red mantle with the intention of defending her new home from anyone who means it harm, with the intention of waking up every day and doing everything in her hands to preserve the second chance she has been given.
And yet...
This bites close to raw flesh that is too sensitive to touch.
If things go wrong, if they don't succeed in defeating Lex first shot, there is a chance that his vendetta gets worse, fueled by the typical wrath and the lack of an element of surprise. And as much as she hates him for turning a bloodshed that he and her cousin started into a war between her and her best friend, Lex knows her pretty well and knows what her Achilles' heel is.
Her loved ones. Even more so, his sister.
Lena would be the first one he'd turn to if Kara didn't meet her goal.
"Are you okay?" Lena asks, cradling Kara’s strong jaw to set the earpiece in place, grunting when a golden lock interrupts the task a second time.
Divulging that there is an imminent fear of losing her again, denting and cracking until she’s gasping for air sounds too heavy for the early hour, so she settles for a, "peachy. Can't wait to get this over with, I feel like a soldier drafted off to war.”
"And what does that make me? A soldier, too? I’m afraid I’m not really into camo prints."
"Nah. You’re the best pal whom I share a matchbox flat with and fusses over me risking my life for our homeland.”
Lena curves an eyebrow. "Would I send you letters?"
"Oh, hundreds of them! Everyone in camp would be so jealous," Kara gloats, bending down so Lena can reach her face without straining. "You would tell me how potstickers are boring without me there to give professional insight, how furious you get when you find out the cactus I left on our windowsill is fake, but it’s okay ‘cause it still seems to be hopefully looking up for my arrival... and if that traffic light in Hope Street is fixed. You definitely have to write to me when Mrs. Stein's dog finally has puppies, I’ve been waiting for that one."
It may be an effect of the harsh lights, or the elation she gets from the proximity. But Lena’s eyes twinkle and Kara has just made the moment much deeper than originally thought.
"You don't even have a cactus."
"I'll see to it that we have one before I part. There’s no excuse, Lena Luthor," Kara faux admonishes.
The thing about laughs is that they are supposed to fill with joy and heal with its connotations, but the happy sound that comes from Lena tears Kara apart before it actually sets her whole again. It’s always been beautiful, a gift only a few get to be presented with, and Kara takes big pride that she’s privy to it.
She hopes Lena doesn’t realise it is also the reason her heart skips so many beats.
"I need to tell you something."
"Hmm?" Kara looks down, dumbfounded with Lena's hands now on her chest as she tries to incorporate the nanite version of the anti-kryptonite suit.
Before Lena can utter her confession, a dense noise heralds the arrival of a shadow that quickly turns into a black nebula, twisting and turning until its wisps extinguish in a humanoid shape, recognizable before her eyes.
It’s the hand on her chest the only obstacle that prevents her from going on a hunt. Alex and J'onn also stand up, alert.
"What are you doing here?" Kara growls, low and dangerous, and tightens her fists on her sides.
Andrea, dressed in her amateur suit, stalks around the room as if it belongs to her, wearing the mask like medals that leave her a rank above Kara. The way she looks at her makes her stomach churn, fiery flames licking up her ribcage.
"I see you haven't told them."
She turns her head to Lena, but doesn't take her eyes off the intruder. "What is she talking about?"
"She is willing to join us. Leviathan and Lex have both taken so much from her, and she’s more acquainted with Leviathan than we are, the intel could come in handy."
"The Shadow willing to help, sounds fake. What do you want for this?"
"Your identity," Andrea says, straight to the point.
The nerve this woman has.
Kara feigns a laugh, exhaling and adopting an expression of disbelief. "Excuse me?"
If she's privy to the knowledge of The Shadow’s identity, it's because she overheard Lena say her name while Kara was stuck in the Worldwide Unity Festival and connected the dots, realising how close they seemed to be after Lena mentioned her for the first time in her office. But Kara has no idea who this is, and if she doesn't trust her civilian alter ego, she won't trust the assassin who would have impaled her if it weren't for Lena.
And, again, she remembers that Lena didn’t hesitate to be the only barrier between her life and a death at the hands of Andrea.
Maybe it's only fair that she does it, too, even if it's only part of her life she’s giving up.
"Do you trust her?" Kara mimics Lena's nod, and nods again, harder. "Do you think I should trust her?"
"She's a good person, Kara," Lena whispers, "everything she's done is to take care of her family and legacy. It's not different from what we do here, don't you think? Besides, I wouldn't put you in this position if I knew she could hurt you, I learnt my lesson."
With the promise of Andrea becoming part of the team, a new asset in the mission to defeat Lex, Kara knows that trusting Lena, even before it all went downhill, has never brought her any trouble. It is that thought, and hopeful green eyes set on her, that lead her to take the plunge and cross the barrier.
"I’m Supergirl, but you also know me as Kara Danvers, CatCo’s reporter." Clasping their hands together feels oddly cathartic, as if by doing this, indirectly trusting Lena with her secret, she can redeem herself for not having done it sooner.
Lena understands it that way, too.
"I knew it! I knew there was a reason you didn't give me the scoop when you had the chance," she accuses Lena. The incredulous what? is on the tip of her tongue, but Kara prefers to swallow it and leave it to be discussed later. "It was ridiculous to see you so peeved over an ordinary journalist, you always pick powerful people off the menu, were you running out of options?" she turns to Kara, squeezing her hand. "Andrea Rojas, but you already knew that. And it's Acrata, not The Shadow."
If Kara is intimidated by the inch of height difference Andrea has on her—that's only because the boots on her new suit have shorter heels for... aerodynamics—she doesn't show it, and no one notices. Except Alex, who shoots a questioning eyebrow at her, and Lena, who is only looking at her, but she always seems to read her lines without mistakes.
"You were quite infatuated when this ordinary journalist was assigned as your bodyguard—exclamation point, exclamation point," Kara barks back, ignoring the gaze burning holes in her skull.
Nia, perceiving the only-cut-with-a-sword kind of tension between them, takes on the task of explaining to Andrea every step of the plan, tearing apart every strategy and reminding her over and over again that teamwork is paramount this time. She gives her an earpiece and Andrea inserts it so easily and fast that Kara has to turn to Lena, wondering what took her so long.
The answer never comes.
"Time to go." Alex makes the call from across the room. "Kelly and Lena are in charge of comms, but you know the drill, if something comes up, divide and conquer."
Lena looks in conflict with herself, biting the nail polish on her thumb until nothing is left. "I’m starting to think this is going to become tradition, but promise me you won't make any rash decisions.”
"I won't, Scout's honor. Are you alright?" Kara wraps her hands around Lena’s arms.
"Before, Supergirl was just a name and an emblem to be sad about for a few days if something happened to her. But now it's you, Kara. The person behind this crest, the most self-sacrificing hero I know, is the person I lo– I care about the most in the whole world. Now I can't be indifferent, and overlook if something happens to her because she is you .”
Kara traces her thumb on Lena’s cheek, heart racing when long lashes flutter, and whispers, "I just got you back, do you really think you'll get rid of me that easily?"
After that, everything goes to hell almost unbelievably fast.
Kara feels guilty because she made a promise, but it's not like she wanted to get lost on purpose, that wasn't part of the plan. Being trapped alone with Andrea wasn't either.
They had to stay behind while they looked for the power dampeners and their only mistake was not having noticed before that without paranormal advantages, the job would be a hundred times more difficult.
The rest of the team took a different route, forced to go on hiding so as not to be detected by the security system that Lena and Kelly were working to breach. None of them know where the target is, but if they were smarter than Andrea and Kara, they must not be far from finding it, or them.
The walls are high and thick in structure. not letting a sound through to indicate which direction they should take, and likewise, their earpieces aren’t working. They are essentially trapped in a maze of state-of-the-art technology pieces.
"So... Lena," Andrea starts, leaning against a wall while Kara searches for a way out.
"You need to elaborate on that."
"She gave you a second chance.” She picks at her nails, trying to play down her words, but a wistful jealousy to them makes Kara stop where she summons pure adrenaline to climb, and pay attention. "I made a mistake when we were younger, and it took her almost ten years to forgive me. And I know it was because she needed something from me, I don't see what you can offer her in return.”
"Lena is not an opportunist.”
"But she uses her connections to her own advantage,” Andrea points out, “with you... she came back to you for reasons that I didn’t understand, but now are glaring obvious.”
"What are those reasons?"
"So sad you're guileless outside CatCo, too.”
"You two, behave. ” Alex's voice crackling through the comms feels like finally finding a needle in a haystack, in a minefield.
"Hey! We lost you for a sec, where are you?" Kara drops the wall where her average strength failed to make even the slightest indentation, and shakes her hands to get rid of the debris in her palms.
"Outside. M'gann is trying to turn off the dampeners. That was your task." She was in such a hurry to get Andrea off her back that she didn’t even survey their surroundings before jumping into danger. "Where are you? It's a setback mission the moment we raise the shield."
"Yeah... about that, I have no idea," Kara says and grimaces, waiting for her sister's disappointed sigh. "We saw an open door and well, that had to mean something, right? So we went inside, but this place is big and without our powers I couldn't find a way out sooner. And neither Lena nor Kelly are responding.”
"We lost communication minutes ago. Apparently Lex was waiting for us and cut off signal prior arrival."
An ice grip strangles her ribs and leaves her frozen in place—Kara doesn’t feel when warm coats her body with extraterrestrial energy. She is only brought back to the moment when a high-pitched screech is perceived by her hearing, and she figures that surprise has been unveiled. Lex knows they are there.
The modest sound turns into blaring alarms and red flashing lights that haunt the hallways with demonic blends. Kara and Andrea traverse aisle after aisle until they find sunlight through the slits of a cracked window, but before Kara can take a step and follow Acrata’s already fading shadow, searing pain spins her blood vessels with a sadistic shade of green and sends her to the ground in an agonizing fall.
It was expected, the kryptonite attack, but it still takes her by surprise, panting until her hand contracts in a fervent impulse and she can activate the suit.
Lex and Lillian must be closer than she thought.
The minute it takes her to recover is one of the longest in her life, and it's the comforting embrace of Lena's thoughtfulness enveloping and shielding her, that prompts Kara to stand up and keep moving on.
She has to squint to get used to the darkness provided by the tinted glass of her helmet, but she isn’t worried about finding her way, her subconscious handles it.
"I've been expecting the parade of buffoons for weeks." Kara hears the mockery in Lex's voice. "It took a lot longer than originally conceived, are you losing your edge, Supergirl?"
Hairs on her nape stand high, and she dodges the beam of green light that is aimed at her back just in time. She turns around to see him donning a war-machine with an air of superiority that contrasts gracefully with his fragile humanity.
The exosuit is the same that Kara saw Lena tweak and twist to perfection in order to be prepared in case she was the one who had to jump to save the city. How the tangible epitome of both sides of morality can merge to form an azoic monster manipulated by a living one is as frightening as seeing Lex approach with rushed steps and what Kara can swear is a sardonic smile behind the mask covering his face.
"You Supers think you're all-mighty, but drop on your knees at the mere sight of a little green," he says, and launches a fist to her side that she is quick to deflect. "You are no gods. You are just freaks who believe they can hold something over our heads because of your enhanced skills.” The second blow is aimed at her jaw and Kara steps out of its orbit before it reaches its goal. "You and your cousin should have exploded along with that wanky planet of yours."
The next blow comes from Kara's hands, and the crash of the armour leaves a dent on the wall in the shape of the droid.
She's filled with an anger that hasn't been allowed to surface for years, but the Luthors manage to lurk into her deepest emotions—either positive or the darkest of them all.
Lex can't just talk about Krypton that way and get away with it. She's done.
Laser beams hit her helmet and shoulder pads, making her stumble with a dangerous crack. Kara floats and comes back, hard with a heel to Lex's chest, knocking him down and keeping her foot there until it is used as leverage. She bends on her knees before hitting the ground, throwing a low kick at Lex's feet that he easily dodges, horizontal and ready to lunge at Kara in a brief but precise flight.
The force of the collision sends them flying into another room through the broken concrete, debris raining on the floor as they do so with grunts. The lightness of her suit holds an advantage over his heavy shield, so she has plenty of time to plant an elbow on what she assumes are his ribs when he seizes her from the torso, trying to prevent her from taking a stand.
Her heart is about to burst out of her throat, and she feels claustrophobic inside the tight walls of the damaged helmet, signs and numbers flashing as she gets beaten up—there's no sign of a friend to guide her through this. But at the same time, she doesn't want anyone to come and see her in her angriest element.
Kara was okay with him being in prison, it didn't affect her in the least. Her cousin had already gotten rid of that threat before she revealed herself to the world as a hero. She had never taken a second look at this genocidal lunatic because it was simply none of her business.
But then she met Lena, and the distant hatred that clouded her became a revulsion that set her blood on fire at the mere mention of his name.
He had been her sister's guide back when she needed to walk through the foreign circles of hell, had been her rock as she grew up and learnt the cruel lengths of the world as she abandoned the innocence of her childhood. Still, Lex betrayed her and left her to her own fate, picking up pieces of her soul that scattered from snowy tree houses up to cold boardroom tiles, trampled on by the people who should have been by her side when doubt and self-flagellation instilled a grudge Lena hadn’t completely grown from.
It became her business when she understood how the loss of her brother managed to crack Lena's first pieces.
On the other hand, Lex did get her attention after that, too. When he trained Snowbird to become Red Daughter, and gave her hope and family before he snagged it out of reach, only to use and discard her time later, leaving Kara impregnated with a foreign essence after the sacrifice…
She’s never hated anyone more.
Kara is about to plunge the finishing uppercut when her senses center on a heartbeat and the blood rushes to her shaky feet. She's too distracted as she zeroes in on purple strands materializing Lena, who shoves the transmatter portal watch in her pocket and cuts the distance between her and Lillian with a stoic expression, to notice Lex raising to his feet, and it's too late for her to defend herself from the onslaught. The blow to her face is the last thing the helmet needs to crack open.
She can't give credit to kryptonite for the shortness of breath, because she's sure her lungs are empty when she lets all the air out in a silent cry for help. There is only one airway in the shape of Lena's sorry eyes on her before Kara stops breathing altogether.
"Ah, well. If it isn’t the nicest Luthor out of the bunch," Lex says, the snarl clear on his mouth as he lowers the mask. The demeaning compliment does nothing to assuage her anger. "Spending time with this disgusting piece of a roach has clearly eclipsed your acumen. Such a shame." He kicks Kara in the stomach, and sends her crashing into the wall.
Kara doesn't dare let her lids droop just because of the glimmer of hope that flows into her when she sees Lena trying to step forward before being stopped by her mother, who takes the dagger Lena sneaks up to her.
"I told you, Mother," Lex continues, "Lena here has licked Supergirl's boots since she moved to National City. She doesn’t have it on her to be a decent Luthor."
It's Lena's way of flinching, hiding behind her hunched shoulders that instills waves of ardor, and Kara’s next move is all for her.
She leans herself into her trembling hands, ignoring the howls of her muscles and bones, and manages to take Lex by surprise when she throws him to the ground and wraps her hands around his neck, pressing with the rage, hate and resentment that has built up inside her since Lex broke them apart and did his best to ruin their lives.
Kara is Earth’s defender because her legacy required it, but she is Lena Luthor’s by choice, first and foremost.
The anguished mentions of her name coming from Lena's lips fly over her head and she squeezes harder, rejoicing in the way the veins on Lex's neck and forehead throb.
She has never felt such a state of rage before.
Kara is about to cross a line that she will never be able to forget, but this is quickly withered when flashes of the tragic story of a millionaire pursuing his love, Nietzsche’s philosophy and Marx’s economy, evenings spent learning english and chess strategies—too many memories she’s been seeing but ignoring from months come out of nowhere, like a wrecking ball. There is a surge of love, a painful sense of betrayal and a feeling of sorrowful acquiescence at last.
“Alex?” it’s ashes in her mouth, and they both are surprised to hear it.
It is that moment of weakness that allows Lex to strike a punch to her temple, the last nail in her coffin.
She feels balmy blood trickling past her temples and ears, feels Lena run to her side to cradle her limp body between her arms, feels tears on her face—she has no idea whose they are—and she feels pain and ruthless fear because Kara needs more days on Earth to spend with Lena.
“You promised me you’d be careful,” Lena sobs, lips glued to Kara’s hairline.
“I’m not going anywhere. We have yet to live in a matchbox with our fake cactus.”
Before the world and everything she knows turns stark white, Kara realises the step on their plan she was missing was to save Brainy, hereby, retrieving the bottle, and she’s been beaten to it when Lex slides it open and yellow tendrils start taking them away from this moment. Lillian, ashen-faced, approaches her son and sinks the kryptonite dagger in Lex's heaving shoulder blades, reaching the goal of a mission Kara couldn’t complete.
She loses consciousness to the symbolic thud of Lex's body crumbling into nothingness.