Chapter Text
-- carcinoGenetecist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
CG: STRIDER WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
TG: what the fuck is what man
TG: cant answer a question if i dont know what the question is
TG: know what i mean
CG: THERES THIS STACK OF DRAWINGS SIGNED “DAVE STRIDER.”
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT ALL ABOUT?
TG: oh
TG: you mean sweet bro and hella jeff
TG: that stuffs the shit man
TG: cant explain that
TG: shit will lose its meaning
CG: I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR SHITTY COMICS.
CG: WHICH IS PROBABLY JUST AS WELL BECAUSE IF I WAS I WOULD BE LONG SINCE LAUNCHED INTO A HEARTFELT AND ENTIRELY JUSTIFIABLE TIRADE ABOUT THE SHEER UNADULTERATED LUNACY OF THE SO-CALLED “IRONY” OF THE AFOREMENTIONED SHITTY COMICS.
CG: I’M TALKING ABOUT THIS PILE OF DRAWINGS I FOUND UNDER THE COUCH IN THE COMMON ROOM.
CG: THE DRAWING OF THE CROW, FOR INSTANCE.
TG: fuck
TG: didnt realise id left that there
CG: DAVE.
CG: THEY’RE REALLY
TG: shitty, i know
CG: PRETTY.
TG:
TG:
TG:
TG: come again
CG: THEY’RE REALLY PRETTY.
CG: YOUR USE OF CONTRAST IS PHENOMENAL.
CG: LIKE THE CROW. THE DETAILING ON THE FEATHERS IS INCREDIBLE IN ITSELF, BUT THE CONTRAST BETWEEN THE DETAIL ON THE BIRD AND THE VAGUE BACKGROUND IS JUST AMAZING.
CG: AND THE ONE OF LOHAC.
CG: THE SIZE OF THE GEARS IN COMPARISON TO THE HAND SINKING INTO THE LAVA.
CG: IT’S VERY EFFECTIVE.
CG: DEPRESSING, BUT EFFECTIVE.
TG:
TG: excuse me for a moment while i swoon
CG: WHAT?
TG: karkat vantas just gave me a compliment
TG: karkat vantas
TG: just gave me
TG: a huge fucking compliment
TG: my ego is like
TG: jizzing itself from the excitement
TG: scuse me while i go clean that up
CG: DAVE.
TG: what
CG: WHY DO YOU DRAW SUCH SHITTY COMICS WHEN YOU CAN DRAW LIKE THIS?
CG: NOT TO MENTION HOW THE FUCK YOU MANAGE TO DRAW THAT BADLY.
TG: dude
TG: easiest fucking thing
TG: i just use my wrong hand
TG: which happens to be my right
CG: OH.
TG: but
TG: i draw sbahj because
TG: well
TG: its
CG: DON’T YOU DARE SAY
TG: ironic
CG: FUCK IT.
TG: why do you even care
CG: IT’S JUST SUCH A STUPID FUCKING WASTE OF TALENT.
TG: no need to shout
CG: I’M NOT SHOUTING.
TG: yes you are
CG: NO I AM FUCKING WELL NOT.
TG: whoa no need to get angry either
CG: I’M NOT ANGRY.
CG: Look, I’ll even take off the capslock and type properly.
TG: holy fuck it can type unobtrusively
TG: fucking miracle
TG: also
TG: you type like rose
TG: except grey
TG: fuck
TG: this is weird
TG: theres no capslock
TG: this is creeping me out
TG: THERE WE GO
TG: no thats even worse
CG: Look, Strider.
CG: Could you just…
CG: Calm your metaphorical rumblespheres for a half a second and listen?
TG: what
TG: oh
TG: sure
TG: tits calmed
TG: now what
CG: You have a fucking amazing gift.
CG: Why did you draw all this?
CG: The good stuff, I mean.
TG: oh
TG: well
TG: i guess
TG: i just
TG: like drawing things i find beautiful
TG: get what i mean
CG:
CG: Yeah.
TG: you hesitated
CG: No I didn’t.
TG: why did you hesitate
CG: I DIDN’T.
TG: well hello again
TG: and yes you did
TG: you fucking hesitated
TG: why
CG: JUST WONDERING AT THE CONSPICUOUS LACK OF SELF-PORTRAITS.
CG: OH WAIT, THEY’RE PROBABLY IN YOUR PRIVATE SKETCHBOOK LABELED “WANKBANK” IF I GUESS CORRECTLY.
TG: haha
TG: but seriously
TG: why did you hesitate
CG: THERE’S MORE OF THEM.
TG: well yeah
TG: like seriously
TG: theres like a fuckton of those things
TG: you have no idea how fucking bored ive been
TG: ive been doing all sorts of creative shit
TG: drawing pretty things
TG: writing sonnets
TG: fucking sonnets for chrissakes
TG: sonnets
TG: ive even been singing
TG: fucking singing
TG: its terrible
TG: im serious
CG: THIS SKETCHBOOK CONSISTS ENTIRELY OF PORTRAITS OF ME.
TG:
TG: oh
TG: that
CG: EXPLAIN.
TG: sure
TG: uh
TG: thats my ugly pile
CG: STRIDER.
TG: thats my name
TG: dont wear it out
CG: STRIDER WHY WOULD YOU DRAW SOMETHING YOU DON'T LIKE TO LOOK AT?
TG: who says i only like to look at pretty shit man
TG: maybe im just captivated by your stunning ugliness
TG: ever thought of that
CG: WHY THE EVERLOVING FUCK WOULD YOU WASTE AN ENTIRE FUCKING SKETCHBOOK ON DRAWING SOMETHING YOU FOUND UGLY?
TG:
TG:
TG: uh
TG:
TG: irony
CG:
CG: I’M NOT EVEN GOING TO DIGNIFY THAT WITH A RESPONSE.
TG: kay
TG: cool
CG:
CG: Strider.
TG: oh fuck
CG: Strider,
TG: fuck hes using small letters
CG: what
TG: what did you find
CG: the fuck
TG: oh shit oh shit oh shit
CG: is this?
TG: uh
TG: what the fuck is what man
TG: dont know what youre shitting over
TG: theres kind of a lot of drawings in that particular book
TG: in case you havent noticed
CG: ARE YOU IN YOUR BLOCK?
TG:
TG: yeah
CG: DON’T LEAVE.
CG: OR I WILL SHOW EVERY SINGLE PERSON I ENCOUNTER ON MY JOURNEY TO FIND YOU - AND IT WILL BE A LONG JOURNEY, I ASSURE YOU - EXACTLY WHAT YOU HAVE DRAWN.
CG: AND TRUST ME.
CG: YOU DON’T WANT THEM TO SEE THIS ONE.
TG: oh fuck
TG: im not going anywhere
-- carcinoGenetecist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --
TG: fuck