Signs of Nature

by Therapybear

Summary:

Gosha and Leano have homeschooled Legosi for a long time, but the district is really pushing inclusivity. Legosi is smart - a lot smarter than most people think - but his disability has put a wall between himself and most other people.

Things were at least sort of looking up ... before Tem died...

Notes:

This is largely a proof of concept, something more low-effort between posting chapters of Civil Service. I will not expressly be using American Sign Language for the sake of our international reading community.

Chapter 1: Dropped in the deep end

Hands on the wheel, foot on the gas, Gosha was driving, bubbly and beaming. He asked, “So are you excited to start at Cherryton?”

 

Legosi pointed forward with two fingers. 

 

The old komodo rolled his eyes as he drove. “Yes, Legosi, I’m keeping my eyes on the road. But you can tell me a little!”

 

The wolf tried to give a grumpy, broken noise. He pointed at his own eyes and then again pointed towards the road ahead.

 

Gosha scoffed, “Okay, fine, I’ll wait till we arrive. But you better not clam up on me when we get there! Your first day at Cherryton … you have to have some feelings about it. And you better text your mom and I every day!”

 

Legosi managed a soft huff.

 

Gosha added with some reluctance, “Leano really didn’t want you to go, but … I think it’ll be good for both of you. The pair of you have to step out eventually, you know?”

 

Legosi huffed again. The old komodo started turning his head to look at Legosi - and the wolf promptly nudged Gosha’s shoulder. 

 

Gosha happily complained, “Okay, okay! I’ll focus on driving. Maybe I’m the one excited. I’m really glad Cherryton can help you out with an interpreter. You know, besides Jack. You go easy on them, and make as many friends as you can!”

 

Legosi nodded along. He undid his scarf for a moment so he could scratch his neck a bit. Then he tied the scarf back on, to hide all the scars on his throat.

……

The red deer unexpectedly snapped, “You want me to what?! ”

 

The principal, a tiger, looked at him in confusion. “You just have to serve as an interpreter for a few of his classes. He’s quite intelligent. His test scores are surprisingly high. You’ll share several classes with him already, and he was scouted for the drama club you’re in. Why? What’s wrong?”

 

Louis needed to compose himself. That was completely unprofessional of him, he couldn’t let his emotions get the better of him like that again. 

 

Louis didn’t want to play the species card, not with a carnivore. He had to come up with a different lie and fast. 

 

The red deer leaned back in his chair and wore calmness like a disguise.

 

Louis complained as diplomatically as possible, “I just didn’t volunteer for this program to be an interpreter. My studies are very important to me and I have several difficult classes this year. I thought all I’d have to do is make copies of my notes, push a wheelchair, help a sloth get to class - that sort of thing.”

 

The principal nodded along, “Yes, well … a student’s disabilities can take many forms. Normally this wouldn’t be a concern, but Legosi isn’t deaf. He can hear fine. He just can’t speak. It’s some kind of throat injury, I believe. You’re one of the few students on record who know the sign language. Jack the labrador also knows it and has already agreed to interpret for him in the rest of his classes.”

 

Louis was already trying to consider his liability here. He’d only volunteered for the program because it would look good on a college application. 

 

The red deer tried to slip free, “But he would still benefit more from a deaf school, wouldn’t he? Then everyone would know what he’s saying. I mean, signing.”

 

The tiger gave a weak smile, “Yes, well … recently the district has been pushing this philosophy of ‘the least restrictive environment.’ They want students to attend as regular a school as possible with just a few supports - not ship them off to a specialty school, if it can be avoided. He used to just be home-schooled by his mother, I believe.”

 

Louis sighed, “And I don’t suppose you have additional funds to finance those ‘few supports,’ do you? You can’t hire an actual interpreter for him?”

 

The principal was still trying to fake a smile. “It was determined ‘financially unnecessary.’ Short of a group project in class, I imagine he might only have a few sentences to contribute on any given day. …But … I do understand, Louis. You’re one of our best and brightest students, in line to be the Beastar. If this is asking too much, I can have some of the other volunteers switch their classes around. I’m sure we have a sloth in need for you somewhere…”

 

Louis was trying very hard not to grit his teeth. He knew he could come up with a better excuse later, but for now? Damage mitigation. 

 

The red deer put on his most noble expression and lied, “It’s fine really. I can do it. I was merely off-guard. I am, after all, fluent - and we’d be together in the drama club regardless.”

 

The tiger sat up straighter, proudly. “I’ll write a glowing recommendation in your file and everything: ‘above and beyond the call of duty.’”

 

The red deer wanted to express exactly how far ‘beyond the call of duty’ this would actually be for him. Having to help out an apex predator day in and day out? 

 

Louis feigned acceptance. “That would be excellent, thank you.”

……

They’re not serious. They didn’t…?

 

Legosi wasn’t expecting to feel much of anything when he and Gosha were led to room 701 - his new home away from home for the coming school year. He knew Jack was going to be there - and that was great, because Jack picked up the language ages ago when they were both little kids. 

 

He was definitely looking forward to hanging out with Jack again. That was enough to get his tail to wag a little.

 

But what really made Legosi happy was … 

 

They’re trying to finger spell. They’re all trying to!

 

Legosi started signing with Jack immediately. The happy yellow lab was eager for a hug, squeezing the bashful wolf tight, and then he started making introductions to the rest of the 701 canids.

 

Durham, Miguno, Collot and Voss: everybody spoke their names and tried to finger spell it, too. It was a small thing - Yeah, okay, they’re making a few mistakes - but it was still way more effort than Legosi was expecting to get from anyone.

 

Jack explained, “I’ve been trying to teach them all some basics, just in case I’m not around.”

 

Collot added, “I apologize in advance for butchering my letters. Big dog, big fingers, right?”

 

Legosi nodded rapidly in empathy and understanding, and showed off his own huge hands. 

 

Voss even whistled at the size of them, “…I think your hands are bigger than me.”

 

Gosha gave the wolf a big hug from behind and ruffled the fur between his ears. “Oh, don’t worry, Collot! You’re in good company. Legosi and I had to practice a lot to get it all down. It doesn’t come easy to us big-handed carnivores. Jack picked it up faster than we did!”

 

Legosi gave a sort of complaining sound, pushing Gosha back and signed an irritated, [Grandpa!]

 

“What?” the old komodo replied, refusing to be any less than ecstatic. “It’s true, isn’t it? It’s hard for us big-handed guys to finger spell!”

 

Jack came to Legosi’s defense, “It helped that I could actually ask questions when I was learning the language, and not have to write them down.”

 

Legosi gave a very quick series of signs and Jack had to stifle a laugh. 

 

Gosha stepped back from his grandson and put his hands behind his back. He pretended he had an invisible halo above his head.

 

Voss piped up, “Wait, what’d he say? What’d he say??”

 

Legosi patted down the fur on his head, glaring a bit at Gosha and Jack. 

 

Jack pretended to cough, interpreted: “Stop embarrassing me.”

……

When it was finally the first day of classes, Louis didn’t need to ask which student was Legosi. It didn’t matter that it was a new school year, or that there were a lot of students in the large hall. There was only one gray wolf in the class, and he’d chosen a seat more toward the back of the room. 

 

That suited Louis fine, since he didn’t really want to be seen with an apex predator regardless.

 

Admittedly, Louis wasn’t expecting him to be quite so physically imposing. The gray wolves he saw around campus were a bit shorter. This one also looked rather more shifty than them. 

 

But when Louis got closer, he didn’t have to question it any further: Legosi had one of those little ‘Hello, My name is …’ stickers on his shirt.

 

The wolf had a scarf around his neck, too. It wasn’t exactly uniform standard, but Louis didn’t care enough to make something of it. As far as he was concerned, the less he spoke to Legosi, the better.

 

Louis tried to be diplomatic as he walked up to the adjacent chair and had a seat. 

 

The wolf started anxiously signing as Louis approached, [Good morning. Are you here to help me?]

 

Louis pretended he was acting, just put on a big smile and replied, “Yes, that’s me - Louis the red deer. I’m a volunteer with Disability Services. They said you can hear, correct? I’d prefer to speak.”

 

Legosi quickly signed, [Yes, I can hear fine. You can speak if you want.]

 

Louis was distracted, just a little, by the movement of the wolf’s huge hands. They were dangerously large, just like the rest of him, and his claws? They looked like they could kill. 

 

How easily could Legosi rend flesh with those? If the wolf wanted to reach over to slash him, how quickly could Louis …?

 

The red deer grumbled, “You don’t cut your nails that often, do you?”

 

Legosi flinched, and his ears dropped down. He looked at his hands quick, then motioned to respond, [Sorry! I try to cut them a lot, I do. They grow back really fast and they’re sharp by the next day.]

 

Louis darkly signed back, [So you’re saying you can’t control your real nature?]

 

Legosi frowned, and he leaned back a few inches. [I don’t understand what you mean.]

 

The teacher called to start class. 

 

Louis put his noble mask on again and forced a smile. “It’s nothing. Nevermind. Just … try not to distract me during class.”

 

Legosi simply nodded, and picked up his pencil to take notes.

 

Legosi managed to go the whole morning without signing anything else.

……

“Yes! New blood!” the tiger shouted in the locker room, before he slapped Legosi heartily on the back. “It’s about time we got another big carnivore in here! What’s your name? I’m Bill!”

 

Legosi stopped changing for a moment (he never took off his scarf), and suddenly went digging back in his locker for his dress shirt. 

 

I just had it a second ago. Wait - where’s the - the sticker?

 

“Hello? Anyone home?” the tiger teased, nudging the wolf by the arm. “I said I’m Bill! This is the part where you say what your name is.”

 

Legosi put his hand up, trying to silently ask for another moment. 

 

On the other side of the locker room, Louis scoffed. Then he loudly explained, “His name is Legosi. He can’t talk, Bill. He’s dumb.”

 

Legosi swallowed the old insult.

 

Of course, I find the stupid sticker when I don’t even need it.  

 

Legosi held the sticker up in his defense just in case, then stuck it on his t-shirt for the club.

 

The tiger just looked at Legosi like he grew another head, and he spoke to Louis instead. “He knows this is the drama club, right? Is he in the wrong place?”

 

A panther called out, “Bill, don’t be rude. He can still hear you.”

 

Legosi got his phone out and started typing his response out on his screen. 

 

But Louis wasn’t looking, and - still sounding annoyed - added, “He was scouted for the club, same as everyone else. He’ll be working under Dom, so don’t worry, Bill: you’ll still be the reigning carnivore in the actor’s pool.”

 

The tiger glared, “Hey! I didn’t mean it like that! But if he can’t talk, he can’t act! That’s - Just - Whatever, okay? It doesn’t bother me any.”

 

I’d like to ‘say’ that doesn’t bother me either, but … yeah … 

 

At least working with Dom turned out great.

 

The peafowl was the nicest student Legosi had met so far. Dom kept trying to talk, finger spell and sign interchangeably, “Hey, Legosi! [L. E. G. O. S. I.] [I. know. little. sign language.] Did I do that right? I took a class [school?] for it [with my friend, T. E. M., in the past.]” 

 

The alpaca spoke up, complained in a sing-song voice, “Dom!~ I wanted to introduce myself!” Then he signed, [My name’s Tem. When I was little, my neighbor was a dalmatian. He was born Deaf. He gave me this name sign.]

 

Dom jumped back in, “We know Louis is supposed to be your official interpreter here, but he’s always been pretty busy in the club. I’m a quick study though! If you teach me some signs while we work, I’m sure we’ll be walking and talking in no time! Er, signing. [You know?]”

 

The wolf’s tail started to wag just a little.

 

Even as Dom showed him around the equipment, teaching him what things did what, he was asking Legosi for the signs. Light. Switch. Lever. Wire. Stage. Broken. 

 

It was just a whole lot of random odds and ends, but it was a great point of reference. For the drama club’s production crew, words like that were going to come up daily.

 

Like most hearing people, Dom could finger spell faster than he could read it, but Tem? Tem could almost finger spell at Deaf speed. That was impressive. Even Legosi had trouble getting his big fingers to move that fast.

 

Still, Legosi just thought it was sweet, the way Dom was going out of his way for him.

 

Okay, so … maybe this year won’t be so bad after all?

 

But that was before the murder happened.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated and I enjoy responding. :)

Chapter 2: He never means to

Summary:

Nobody handles Tem's death well.

Sanu thought it was up to him to say something: “I guess everyone already knows… This morning one of our own members, Tem, was found … um… Why are the carnivores and herbivores sitting apart?”

 

Sanu was oblivious like that.

 

The studio of the drama club was divided straight down the middle, each group on opposing sides.

 

It was Ellen the zebra who fired first, “Sanu… the only carnivores Tem was friendly with are the ones in this club !”

 

Bill the tiger was ready to shoot back, “What’s your point? Are you actually accusing us ?”

 

The zebra got even louder, “Be honest! One of you was jealous because Tem won a great role and did something about it! That seems plausible enough to me!”

 

The tiger bared his fangs as he yelled, “How. Dare. You. Herbivores are always doing this! You act like victims all you want, but first chance you get you trash us behind our backs!”

 

Ellen returned, “You want to fight?! Go ahead! Carnivores get expelled if they injure herbivores!”

 

Bill snapped back, “So what?! You’re not even worth fighting!”

 

Suddenly the drama club lights cut out. 

 

It was just for a few seconds, but enough for a lot of concerned comments to replace the volatile discussion. 

 

Up in the rafters, Legosi hurried to get the lights back on for them.

 

Not now! Please, not now!

 

As soon as they could see, everyone looked up at the large gray wolf, looming over their heads.

 

Pretty much everyone knew the sign for the word ‘sorry’ by now. Legosi signed that one all the time.

 

The zebra yelled at her new target, “What was that for?! Did you do that on purpose?!”

 

Legosi quickly, nervously started signing, and Dom had to interpret, “Ohhh. It sounds like the lighting panel malfunctioned again. Legosi has been trying to fix it. Yeah, it still has that problem with the fourth row! Sanu, Legosi’s great with electrical stuff, but we should really get that looked at by a professional.”

 

Ellen the zebra still called out, “Legosi! You hung out with Tem a lot! Do you know anything about this?”

 

The wolf didn’t really move for a moment, didn’t sign anything. Fingers fidgeted in front of him.

 

…Do I know … something?

 

… I guess I do …

 

“Legosi?” Sanu asked more nicely, “Why don’t you come down here?”

 

The wolf awkwardly clambered off the rafters, with a feral, face-first climb down the ladder. He brushed off his hands when he got down. 

 

He seemed to be fussing with something on his mind, and he kept glancing at Els when he finally started signing. 

 

Some of the herbivores still stiffened at the way the wolf with huge clawed hands was moving his arms. Legosi tried to sign just a little smaller, more shrunken in on himself.

 

Would be nice if Louis was here.

 

Without Louis or Tem, it fell to Dom and his broken, barely conversational grasp of the language. The peafowl interpreted as best as he could, “I think Tem had a lot of… what’s that one, Legosi? …Oh, regrets! …because there were so many things he hadn’t done yet.”

 

Legosi noticed one of the squirrels was having trouble with her nuts and moved slowly over to them - and with his big fingers, he crushed the nuts with surprising ease.

 

Legosi didn’t mean for that to be scary, but … well, he never meant to be scary. Sometimes it just happened.

 

One of the other herbivores prodded, “How would you know something like that?”

 

Legosi instinctively rubbed at his neck, underneath his scarf. He looked at Els and Dom again.

 

Dom interpreted more of Legosi’s sign, “All of us would feel that way, if we died fast. Er, suddenly? We’d all leave some - work? Unfinished business! - behind.”

 

The squirrel whispered their thanks to Legosi a little late.

 

Then Legosi turned, waved a hand at Dom to get his attention again.

 

“Oh!” Dom piped up and turned to Els. “Legosi said he has a question for Els: he wants to know how you feel about Tem’s death.”

 

The small goat girl tensed up immediately. Legosi was still staring at her as she replied, “What? M-me?”

 

Dom added, “Yeah, he wants to know if you feel sad about Tem.”

 

Els leaned back and fussed with her shirt. “Why is he asking me? I hardly knew him!”

 

The slouching carnivore just sort of looked at her with his wide eyes, before he allowed himself a very slow shrug. 

 

Els glanced at the others who were clearly expecting her to say more. “B-but … of course I’m … sad… Aren’t we all? He was one of us…”

……

Els felt anxious through the whole rest of their rehearsal. Being put on the spot like that was still bothering her, even afterwards when she was in the girl’s locker room. 

 

She started asking to no one in particular, “Hey, why do you think Legosi singled me out? Asking how I felt, about Tem getting killed?”

 

“He’s a tech crew guy,” one of the herbivores replied casually. “They’re all weird. Especially Legosi, the way he … you know. He was acting even weirder today though…”

 

The zebra added, “Yeah, and Legosi was hanging around Tem all the time! Legosi’s only been here this year and now we have a devouring? Who knows what all he’s been saying to him, if he threatened Tem…?”

 

Els fussed with her shirt again, “He was scaring me… What was he getting at? He kept staring at me during the meeting and afterwards, as if … as if I was his prey ! It’s like he was saying, ‘You’re next!’ …That wolf is a psycho ! Someone tell me I’m not the only one who saw it!”

 

Els moved to cover her face even as some of the others attempted to console her. 

 

Several more shared their darker thoughts about their resident ‘psycho.’

 

Sheila tried to be empathetic, but she really didn’t like the way they started dragging Legosi’s name through the mud. “Girls, come on already! I really doubt all that. You’re worrying about nothing, Els! Louis and Tem are the only ones fluent in sign language here, and Louis is always busy. Of course Legosi would be talking to Tem all the time. …And yeah, Legosi is weird, but … we’re all weird here…”

……

It was still an effort getting Els to calm down. 

 

None of the girls wanted to say it to her face, but Tem and Els were both wooly animals. If a carnivore did want another meal like that … well, whether it was Legosi or not, Els might have been at risk. 

 

Some of them walked her back to her dorm to be supportive - but only after they left her did she realize something important.

 

Crap! Just - crap! I forgot my watch! I must have left it in the rehearsal studio. Ugh, how could I do that? Today?? It was a gift!

 

It wasn’t like it was that far, back to the drama club. It was darker by then, sure, but not really that late. She could still see the sun going down in the west. Besides, there were walkway lights, too, so she could see fine. 

 

Sheila was probably right: Els probably didn’t have to worry about Legosi, but … 

 

She pushed down her fear and jogged her way back to the drama club. The watch mattered more than a few anxious thoughts.

 

The doors weren’t locked, but it was definitely darker inside the studio. She started reaching around trying to find a light switch, but couldn’t. Better she just find the watch and get out.

 

And then a spotlight illuminated her, blinding her with its suddenness. 

 

There was someone else in the studio.

 

Her heart started pounding immediately.

 

She called out, “W-who’s there?!”

 

No response. She heard footsteps.

 

Her heart beat even faster.

 

She called out again, “What are you doing here?”

 

She could make out big white eyes, and a large, hulking shape.

 

Hands. Huge hands, in the dark.

 

He stepped into the light.

 

Legosi .

 

The wolf had his massive, clawed fingers spread out in front of him. 

 

Is he going to grab me?

 

Els took another step back. 

 

Is he going to bite me?

 

Els stammered, “L-Leave me alone, Legosi. You’re scaring me. You’ve been acting weird all day!”

 

Legosi stopped moving. 

 

He tried to look back over his shoulder, but there was no one else there.

 

The wolf tried to slouch a bit shorter - a bit closer to her level. 

 

He kept his left hand up where she could see it, but put his huge right hand out in front of him - as if offering to take her hand. His claws looked even more deadly with the spotlight upon his back.

 

Els was shaking.

 

Her mind was racing faster than her heart, I didn’t fully get it until right now. Please forgive me, Tem. You must have been terrified.

 

But … don’t worry! I will avenge you, Tem! I won’t give in - for both of us! 

 

The stage crew had left out some of their tools. Before Legosi could get any closer, she dashed for a pair of industrial scissors, and brandished them in front of her like a knife.

 

Legosi’s eyes went a bit wider. His ears drooped down.

 

Els yelled, “That’s how it is, isn’t it?! You’ve always acted like you were my friend! But now you’re hungry and what, I’m just food to you?! Do you think my life is that worthless??”

 

Legosi slowly began to move closer again, a walking shape of darkness blotted out by the harsh spotlight behind him.

 

He’s a demon! A demon !

 

Els stammered, her whole body shaking, “Both Tem and I … are so much … more than …”

 

In a single flash of movement, Legosi was grabbing the scissors away from her. She couldn’t stop him.

 

No! He’s so strong! Too strong !!

 

Els put her arms up to defend her face, squeezed her eyes shut. She didn’t want to see his fangs, didn’t want to see the end before it happened.

 

But his teeth didn’t touch her, and neither did his claws.

 

Legosi was trying to push a piece of paper into her hands instead.

 

Els cracked open one eyelid.

 

Slouching Legosi moved over so they were side by side in the light. 

 

He pointed repeatedly at the paper - which, Els saw, was just an envelope. 

 

It was sealed with a heart sticker.

 

She turned it over and read the words aloud, “‘To Els … From Tem’? W-wait, is this…?”

 

Legosi carefully took out his phone - he didn’t want to do anything too fast, if it would scare her again. 

 

He started typing. It took a bit - Gosha tried to get him the largest phone size they could, but his big, clawed fingers still struggled a bit there. He was all thumbs, but when he finished, he could show his phone screen to her: {It’s the love letter that Tem was never able to give you.}

 

Els swallowed hard. She looked again at the letter, and then at the awkward, shrunken carnivore. “So … all you wanted … was to give me this letter?”

 

Legosi - slowly - nodded his head several times. 

 

Els felt just a little less anxious waiting for him to type his next message. 

 

Then Legosi and Els had a seat beside each other.

 

He explained, {Tem and I hung out a lot, so I saw him returning this letter to his locker every day.}

 

Legosi compulsively signed [I’m sorry] again, then added, {Maybe I shouldn’t have given it to you after all…}

 

The goat was relaxing, starting to get her breathing and her heart rate under control.

 

Els acknowledged, “But … even if you don’t talk out loud, it probably would have been hard to pretend you didn’t know about it…”

 

Legosi nodded again. Els waited even longer for him to type out, {Tem was always self-conscious about this. He kept waiting, hoping to give it to you at just the right moment. So I thought, I should give it to you in private.}

 

“I see,” Els replied, and she sat on that idea for half a minute. “You’re awkward … but sweet. You definitely frightened me, but … I am grateful. … I’ll … I’ll treasure this letter always, thank you.”

 

Legosi signed [sorry] for the umpteenth time that day, then typed out his apology, {I’m sorry I scared you. I’ll see you tomorrow?}

 

Els nodded in return. “Yes. I’ll see you then.” 

 

Then she started to get up to head back to her dorm, but she stopped herself after a few feet. “H-Hey, um … I … I technically said some terrible things about you today … in the girl’s locker room. …I’ll take it all back tomorrow, I swear! I hope you can forgive me.”

 

Legosi simply shook his head and signed, [No.] 

 

Els recognized that one and frowned. “W-what? Why not?”

 

Legosi looked down at his phone to type more. It was an even more awkward wait before he showed it to her, {I do forgive you. I just don’t think you should tell anyone about tonight. I don’t think Tem would want everyone to know about his first love like this.}

 

Els stammered again, “B-but I don’t want the drama club to think badly of you.”

 

Legosi gave a weak smile. He typed, showed his phone, {I’ll be fine. It’s always been like that. I’m used to people thinking bad things of me. I’ll survive.}

 

Els wasn’t sure how to respond to that. There was something final to that declaration. So Legosi just started going his way, and she started going hers. 

 

But Els turned around for a moment and watched Legosi as he walked. His head was so low, and his shoulders so heavy. She never noticed how Legosi’s tail could hold so still.

 

Only then did it actually occur to her:

 

… Tem signed with him, could sign with him, about anything. Everything. He was the only one in the club who really did that with him. Louis sure doesn’t. Legosi was … probably a lot closer to Tem than I thought. Maybe closer than anyone thought.

 

He’s taking Tem’s death harder than anyone. Isn’t he?

 

Els lost sight of Legosi as he stepped back into the dark.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated and I enjoy responding. :)

Chapter 3: Crimes of the tyrant king

Summary:

Louis starts out as a giant asshole and I look forward to Legosi calling him out on his shit.

Legosi and Louis had come to an understanding at some point: no small talk, no asking about Louis’ life, no getting too close, and absolutely no sniffing. Legosi did that a few times the first week without thinking, before Louis made it perfectly clear that it wasn’t okay.

 

Legosi would have bet money that Louis had been close with someone who signed a lot - probably someone who was Deaf, but Legosi didn’t want to risk asking.

 

Sign language, after all, involves many things: it’s not just hands, it’s body language, facial expressions, specific placement of specific limbs. In some ways, it’s a lot like acting.

 

The red deer was very good at controlling all of those. 

 

So when Louis threatened to hurt Legosi, no one else knew. Louis was just smiling, he was moving all friendly-like. 

 

There was nothing in his bearing or posture that would give him away to the students around, but there was … some kind of violent undercurrent to his emotions, something Louis kept hidden. Anger? Rage? Legosi couldn’t quite place it.

 

It couldn’t have been something Legosi did, but … 

 

Well … Legosi didn’t want to ask if the red deer was joking or not.

 

As long as they were talking club business or classwork, it was fine. Teachers almost never called on Legosi to provide an answer in class, though Louis seemed fine interpreting then. 

 

Helping Legosi, Louis always looked so noble - just, to everyone else.

 

The rest of the students were content to leave Legosi alone. Even when they flocked to Louis, the Beastar to be, they pretended Legosi wasn’t there. 

 

Legosi was alright with that, or at least he thought he was.

 

Apparently a lot of people think he’s pretty.

 

The teachers continuously stuck Louis with Legosi on every group activity. So whether it was in class or drama club, Legosi made an extra effort to be helpful, to prove he was smart and not like the old insult: ‘deaf and dumb.’ 

 

Legosi would have offered to do all the work, if Louis even trusted him with something like that.

 

(Louis didn’t.)

 

When they were alone, it was just best if Legosi stayed a few arm-lengths away.

 

They were alone in the drama club office when Kai suddenly burst through the door yelling.

 

Legosi flinched. Kai froze. 

 

Louis just looked at Kai and glared. 

 

The mongoose grit his teeth, almost snarled, “Louis, may I talk to you?”

 

Louis grumbled, “What is it, Kai? …You know you’re supposed to knock before entering.”

 

Kai wanted to glare back - but Legosi was a much easier target. The mongoose sneered, “Just what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be with the production crew!”

 

Legosi held up his hands in his defense, tried to sign something to Louis, but Louis ignored Legosi and started explaining for him anyway. “The dog was giving me a runthrough of the costumes. I told him to be here, not that it’s any concern of yours - No, Legosi, stay.”

 

Crap .

 

The wolf only got a few feet away before Louis halted his escape. Legosi just stood there off to the side of the room, and waited in quiet anxiety.

 

Louis further explained, “Kai, you need to learn to get along with Legosi. You’re going to be working together.”

 

Legosi signed - and Kai asked, “What?”

 

Louis explained it all with graceful finality: Kai was being moved out of the actor’s pool, to help out as a stagehand with the production crew. Louis weaved a story as he paced back and forth, recounting Kai’s failings - so obvious and shameful to Louis’ keen eye for detail. The mongoose was less than perfect. 

 

Louis demanded perfection. He practically scoffed, “What made you think you could possibly fill Tem’s -”

 

A fist hit to flesh, so loud it caught Louis off guard. 

 

Louis hadn’t been looking. He didn’t see either of them move - Legosi was just there, between him and Kai. The wolf caught the punch on his flexed upper arm, like a shield. The mongoose still had his knuckles pressed hard against the wolf’s defense. 

 

Their bodies were tensed, muscles rigid, like one of them was going to smash the other off their feet at any moment.

 

Kai growled, “What do you think you’re doing??”

 

Legosi didn’t take his eyes off of him, but he shifted his body a little more sideways. That way Louis could still read what the wolf was signing.

 

The red deer found himself smirking before he even started talking. 

 

Louis interpreted for Legosi, “He says the safety of the actors is the stagehands’ first priority. Especially you carnivores. He says it’s their your job to protect the actors and - I - am your lead actor. Your star . His words. We can’t afford,” Louis’ voice wavered a second, “to lose anyone else.”

 

Neither noticed Louis’ passing moment of weakness. The carnivores were too focused on each other.

 

Something about Legosi’s form was shaking Kai’s resolve.

 

The mongoose knew he could outclass Legosi in one way: he yelled, “What do you even know about this? You’re just a psycho loner! You’ve never even set foot on the stage! Just, stay out of this! You think I couldn’t kick your … ass … and …”

 

Kai trailed off as the wolf stopped slouching. 

 

Legosi was standing up straighter, just a little with each passing second, but as the wolf started looming over the mongoose? The urge for violence flew out of Kai at last.

 

“N-nah,” Kai said softly. “It was - just a joke. Why would I bother - I don’t have a reason to fight you.”

 

The mongoose gulped, then started stomping towards the door. 

 

Kai had just enough residual anger to complain, “I hate all you elitist rich kids. The way you act? You’d better have someone to watch your back till the day you die!”

 

Kai slammed the door behind him. They could still hear Kai yelling at club members on the other side. 

 

And then it was just Louis and Legosi, all alone again.

 

… Well, that … could have gone better … 

 

Legosi started falling back in on himself, sinking and slouching.

 

… Thanks, Grandpa … 

 

… And thank Rex, Kai didn’t … his fangs, I mean … 

 

The wolf compulsively rubbed at his neck just beneath his scarf. Legosi signed very small that he should go deal with the scenery, but Louis was smirking again.

 

Louis sounded like he was teasing, “You actually used your size to stop a fight. That’s the sort of aggressive stance I’ve come to expect from most carnivores, but you? You took me by surprise. Quiet as a stone, but I suppose you have some ferocity inside of you after all.”

 

Legosi was more uncomfortable than he wanted to let on. He signed [excuse me,] and tried to leave. 

 

Louis grabbed him by the tail. “You are not excused. We still have something important to discuss. Can I count on you to help or not?”

 

Legosi repeated in sign, [Help … you?]

 

“Not me personally,” Louis clarified, as if the thought he would ever need to rely on Legosi was funny. “You’re going to help our little drama club. You’re a wolf after all. You know, you ought to let go and embrace your nature a little more. …I’m stooping to ask you for help as a carnivore; you could look a little flattered.”

 

The wolf swallowed hard. [What do you want me to do?]

 

“Hold on a minute and I’ll tell you,” Louis answered. 

 

Then Louis brought in Zoe. 

 

Legosi just stood there off to the side as Louis proceeded to verbally stomp all over their junior student. Louis ‘congratulated’ him without sounding sincere, started running lines without even leading into it, and as Zoe stammered his lack of knowledge? Louis physically grabbed his face and made a specist joke about goats and eating the wrong things.

 

Legosi would have liked to think he’d say something, get in between the two herbivores, but the only one who’d understand is Louis. Legosi knew who he feared more.

 

And I can not afford to make an enemy of Louis. Not if I want to stay at Cherryton.

 

But Zoe was just cast yesterday, and he’s only in junior high… There’s no way he knows all his lines already…

 

Zoe tried to stand up for himself, “I’ll - I’ll stay up all night, I’ll memorize all my lines by tomorrow’s rehearsal, I promise!”

 

“No,” Louis shot him down. “You think I don’t know how lazy goats are? Idle talk, all of that. No, you’re both going to come with me right now.”

 

Louis grabbed Zoe by the arm and started pulling him along.

 

The goat tried to ask, “W-where are we - going?”

 

Louis scoffed, “To the gym. We’ll sneak in to use the stage there for an impromptu rehearsal of our own. That way we can prepare for tomorrow.”

 

Wait, what?!

 

Legosi signed rapidly, [Why would you do that? Sneaking into the gym at night is against school rules! Especially after what happened to Tem, if someone finds out -]

 

Louis grabbed Legosi closer by the scarf, and started aggressively signing back, [Now do you understand why I asked for your help? You’ll be our lookout! At least your nose works! Use those carnivore eyes, you can see in the dark! If you see someone, get us or yell, bark, whatever that noise is you can make! What, are you going to refuse, Mr. Big Bad Wolf? Don’t let the club down! You just said you have to protect us actors! I bet if I offered you one of my legs, you’d drool and say yes, wouldn’t you?]

 

The fight went out of Legosi far faster than it went out of Kai. His ears had fallen and he started looking away, towards a corner of the room. 

 

He signed as small as he could, [fine.]

 

The red deer snorted in victory. “Just stand guard at the back door. If someone uses the front, we’ll hear them, we’ll have time to run. If you can’t come get us, slam on the door or something, whatever. We’ll know it’s you.”

 

Legosi fussed with his hands in front of him as Louis led them along the school’s back walkways - a dark, beaten procession.

 

Louis said a few more threatening things to Zoe on their short journey, about only helping him so Zoe didn’t make Louis look bad.

 

Please don’t yell at me again, Louis. Don’t do anything, don’t talk to me. I just - I just need to get through the next hour. Or two hours. Three. However long Louis wants to grill him. 

 

I just need to stand around, and hide, and keep a lookout. I can do that. Just - I just need to stand there.

 

The pair of actors went inside the big building and left Legosi alone in the growing darkness and fog. An emergency light above the door was small comfort - and a valid risk. How far away could someone see him, if he was in that light?

 

Legosi started pacing at some point, in and out of the emergency light.

 

One would think, by now, he’d be used to being left alone with his thoughts. He wasn’t. They were racing away the whole time.

 

A nearby water fountain gurgled in the dark.

 

He kept checking the clock on his phone, and the weather app. The night kept ticking on.

 

He must be working Zoe really hard. They haven’t even turned on the lights inside. I guess it’s less likely they’ll be caught that way, but after what happened to Tem… 

 

What do you think, Mr. Fountain?

 

Will the academy ban the drama club if someone catches us?

 

Will I get suspended? Or - or expelled?? Would I get expelled?! Please don’t get me expelled, Louis, please!

 

Aaarrrgghhh, I wish I could trade places with you, Fountain! Then all I’d have to do is stand there and spout water and no one would care the least bit about how dangerous I look, whether I can talk, or how stupid and ugly I am. 

 

I hate this, so much.

 

But, I mean … I doubt anyone will be out this late at night anyway? Especially after what happened to Tem - but, Louis, please! 

 

I just want to go to my room and hide myself in a dozen blankets.

 

Legosi smelled something out in the dark then. He shouldn’t be smelling anything remotely like another animal, where they were, at this time of night, but the scent was there all the same and getting closer. 

 

His nose sniffed at the air a little more, trying to identify it.

 

… It’s an herbivore?

 

It’s close by, but probably alone? Thank Rex, it’s alone.

 

Wait. Alone?? Why’s an herbivore alone?!

 

… If I just - I just need to focus my senses more. 

 

I can do that… Just focus. Hmm? 

 

It’s - small body size? …Yeah, definitely a small herbivore, but… maybe a girl?

 

I want to say she’s … 30 feet away from me…

 

Wait, 30 feet?!

 

Legosi realized that too late and - afraid the emergency light would give him away - he quickly tried to hide behind one of the building’s columns.

 

This is bad. This is really bad. Shit. Please.

 

I can’t see too well through all this fog, but …

 

Did she see me? …Could she smell me? Does she know I’m here, too?

 

Legosi gulped.

 

He rubbed at his throat.

 

Please don’t sense me. Please don’t come this way.

 

I don’t want to get expelled, I don’t want to get expelled, I -

 

Louis. Can I text Louis? Not enough time. Not enough. They’re getting closer.

 

I could hit the door! Hit the door real loud, but she’s so close! She’d see me in the light for sure!

 

AND I CAN’T LEAVE !

 

LOUIS WOULD KILL ME HIMSELF!

 

JUST. SHIT.

 

If I just … If I just chase you, a little … would you leave?

 

You’d run, right?

 

Please leave already, please, run.

 

If I just … make the first move?

 

Maybe if I make the first move?

 

Please leave! PLEASE! I DON’T WANT TO GET EXPELLED!

 

Legosi had never really ‘chased’ anyone before - not like this.

 

But the herbivore was getting closer and closer and he was running out of time. A panicked brain made a bad decision.

 

So he ran. 

 

Legosi realized too late that he was fast - too fast!  

 

He kept down low in the dark, just wanted to chase her away a bit, but he overtook the small herbivore without even trying. 

 

Before he even knew what was happening, he tripped, they were falling over, rolling over, he had her in his arms and they were just there, bent low on the ground. She was swallowed up in his shadow.

 

Legosi had the sudden crushing awareness that he was caught in his own personal purgatory, a hellish paradox that left him no solution.

 

I need to explain to her! I need to explain, this is an accident! I didn’t mean to actually grab her, but - I need to let go to explain things!

 

Damn it, Louis!!

 

I need to use my phone! I can type it out, I can explain, I panicked, I tripped - but then she’d see my face!

 

Then she’d definitely see me, know me, identify me right away to school as her nighttime assailant! 

 

Why would she even listen?!

 

Someone just killed Tem! They just killed Tem, it’s my first year, half the club thinks it was me, everyone’s going to think it was me, I’m going to get arrested, I’m going to get expelled, I just wanted to go to my room, Louis, why?! WHY?!

 

I can’t just let her go! But I can’t tell her to run!

 

I can’t do anything!

 

Just! Damn it !

 

Legosi had never so completely hated himself and his inability to speak.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated and I enjoy responding. :)

Chapter 4: A sleepless morning's panic attack

Summary:

A lack of sleep makes a person more vulnerable to mental health issues.

“ Hey !!” 

 

Zoe shouted. That one word broke the moment, released the wolf and rabbit from the spell that had paralyzed them both.

 

The rabbit darted straight away, out into the dark - didn’t even look back.

 

Oh, thank Rex! Thank you, fucking Rex - Rexes? - just - Rex !  

 

Legosi still felt rooted to the spot, trying to catch his breath. He didn’t realize he’d been holding it in as Zoe came closer in the fog.

 

The goat had dropped back to a whisper, “Hey, come quick already! I need your help - we need your help!”

 

Legosi had to swallow his nerves, and Zoe tugged on his arm, muttering, “You were supposed to stand by the door! What were you - just, come with me already! It’s Louis!”

 

Wait, what? Louis??

 

For a moment there, Legosi felt his chest panic again. He started signing rapidly - not that Zoe understood any of it at all. 

 

“Just come on!” the goat ordered quietly, and Legosi let himself be pulled along into the gym.

 

Then Legosi saw Louis on the ground inside and he ran. Legosi ran much faster than Zoe. 

 

Legosi waved his hands, trying to sign, asking Louis how he was, what was injured - got so close he was looming over him in the dark.

 

Louis shoved him back and complained, “I’m fine, damn it. Just, quit hovering!”

 

Zoe mumbled when he caught up, “He was trying to save me…”

 

Legosi looked to him instead, listened as Zoe explained what happened: not being able to see well in the dark, getting too close to the edge of the stage. Louis grabbed him, tried to keep Zoe from falling, only for Zoe to land on Louis instead.

 

Louis wanted to correct him, “No, I was not trying to save you. The only reason I tried to catch you was so - was so I wouldn’t have to listen to you whining if you got yourself hurt!”

 

Legosi was pretty sure that was a lie.

 

Zoe was not the least bit comforted by that and kept stammering, “W-what will we do if you can’t - if you can’t make it to tomorrow’s rehearsal? To the show ? This can’t be happening, this can’t be happening !”

 

Louis raised his quiet voice to tell him, “Zoe, shut up already! Or I swear I will show you how fine I am and shut you up myself! This is nothing. I’ll be fine by tomorrow. …Our rehearsal is over. Tell no one. Just go, Zoe. Go !” 

 

Zoe took the opportunity to make a hasty retreat and only looked back once.

 

Then Louis turned to Legosi with his tone a little calmer, more subdued, “Just let me lean on you for now. For a minute.”

 

The wolf swallowed. He could do that. He helped the red deer stand. Louis was certainly trying to hold a lot of his weight on Legosi’s strong arms.

 

Louis managed to take a few halting steps, but Legosi stopped them.

 

The wolf’s nose had been picking up something and it was no rabbit.

 

His big carnivore eyes went even wider because, [That’s definitely not nothing!]

 

The red deer grimaced and glared, trying to keep his voice down in the dark, “Yes, it is! Stop signing and just give me your arms! I’m fine!”

 

Legosi didn’t do that. He got down on a knee instead and forcefully raised the deer’s pant leg up. Louis was trying to push and shove the big carnivore away, to no effect. Legosi could stand firm when he wanted to, and right now he was too worried to give in. 

 

Louis was bleeding. 

 

Legosi hadn’t smelled this much blood since … well. It had been a while. It had been a lot worse way back then.

 

Louis wasn’t bleeding too badly, but enough to be significant. 

 

Zoe must have landed on Louis’ leg, maybe with the edge of his shoe or his horns - Legosi couldn’t tell. He wasn’t a doctor. Legosi couldn’t tell if it was broken either, but it was certainly mangled.

 

Legosi tried to think in terms of emergency first aid, of old lessons with Gosha and Leano. The wolf didn’t have much spare material on him - but he had his scarf. 

 

He took it off his own neck and started quickly tying it around Louis’ leg and ankle, just tight enough to provide support. At least he wouldn’t be bleeding all the way back to the dorms. That would be conspicuous. It should make the walk to Louis’ dorm easier, too, if Legosi’s work was any good.

 

The wolf tried to look up then, to give Louis a reassuring smile.

 

But the face Louis had on? 

 

…It was like he was scared.

 

Legosi looked back over his shoulder - thinking they were about to be busted - if Zoe panicked and brought back an adult. But no one was there. 

 

Louis just gripped his own neck. 

 

Legosi did the same.

 

In the murky moonlight slipping through the windows, Louis finally saw the wolf’s terribly scarred throat. 

 

The red deer barely even whispered, “When… When did that happen?”

 

Legosi signed without emotion, [When I was five, but let’s get you to your dorm fast. Your leg is going to hurt a lot more soon.]

 

The deer didn’t resist as Legosi looped one of Louis’ arms over the wolf’s shoulders and held their bodies close together, side by side. Legosi could support him better that way. 

 

Louis got the distinct impression that Legosi could have just picked him up outright, but was letting him save face. 

 

Legosi still bore most of the deer’s weight.

 

Louis kept oddly quiet as Legosi helped him limp along the back walkways. They didn’t encounter anyone else on the path, or when they arrived at the herbivore dorm - a fact they were both quite grateful for.

 

The red deer really only said two other things the whole time.

 

“Did anyone see you?”

 

Legosi shook his head.

 

That was basically true: the rabbit never did look back.

 

Then, a little later, Louis mumbled, “Thank you for helping.”

 

Legosi simply signed, [It’s fine.]

……

Legosi still had trouble sleeping all night long. There was a war going on in his head, replaying the whole disaster that was that evening. 

 

He kept trying to relax, to remind himself that the rabbit didn’t look at him, he hadn’t hurt the rabbit - he just tripped - that he’d done everything Louis had asked, and if Louis couldn’t perform…? 

 

Well, it’s not like that will really impact me. I just work the lights…

 

…Louis can’t blame me for what happened, can he?

 

It still took his anxious brain ages to fall asleep, and Collot basically had to drag him out of bed for breakfast. Legosi was never a morning person. He could chalk it all up to that.

 

There was a moment’s confusion when he was getting dressed. He couldn’t find his usual scarf. He barely even took it off around the 701 dogs. The vicious scarring still made them uncomfortable, even Jack.

 

Legosi dug around a bit for it, before he remembered giving it to Louis. 

 

I’m probably never getting that one back. …He probably threw it away already.

 

Legosi wasn’t sure why he felt bad about that. It was just a scarf. He had a few and would just have to use one of the others. He went digging for one of those and hid his neck once more.

 

Legosi brought up the rear of their little canid group, following along as they made their way to the cafeteria for breakfast.

 

Collot was certainly rather excited about the morning’s selection: toast, scrambled eggs, bean burger steak… Legosi felt too sleepy to muster an emotion about any of it.

 

He started eating breakfast in a tired daze, and might have stayed that way if the lunchroom hadn’t just exploded.

 

“HEY! WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU ?”

 

Everyone felt that shockwave.

 

Legosi jerked his head up, searching the cafeteria for the source of the yelling.

 

Two carnivores were shoving each other around, knocking over chairs, just seconds from greater violence.

 

“You stepped on my tail, asshole!”

 

“I said I was sorry, dickwad!”

 

“You were laughing about it!!”

 

“Yeah, cause your face is hilarious !!”

 

“You fucking bastard !!”

 

Fangs were bared, and someone else screamed.

 

Legosi gulped.

 

Shit. It’s like that time.

 

The snarling fox went to bite his rival, got him on the arm and they both hit the ground, throwing punches. 

 

It’s just like that time.

 

Someone else yelled to get the teachers. 

 

The pair of them wrestled and fought, upending a table in the way. 

 

N-no. Shit. Stop.

 

Legosi felt himself breathing faster and faster as everything stretched out in front of him, fangs and claws and death and then the fox bared his teeth again, as wide as possible, and the fox was even trying to bite at his -

 

Legosi gave out the most strangled, broken noise possible. 

 

It wasn’t a bark - it was something else entirely, a wheeze, something alien - and something so pained that the rest of the cafeteria got instantly quiet again. It wasn’t even that loud.

 

Legosi grabbed his scarf-clad throat and squeezed.

 

Oh no. Jack? Where’s Jack?

 

Jack was just …?

 

Legosi couldn’t breathe.

 

The fox turned on Legosi instead, disregarding the first offender entirely. He started stalking toward the large wolf, yelling, “What the hell is your problem?! Making all that noise. Was that a challenge? You want in on this? Come on then! I’m feeling generous! Do you think you could take me just because you’re so big??”

 

Grandpa. Grandpa taught me, I can - I can defend -

 

Legosi was having trouble thinking. He tried to put his hands up defensively, surrendering, tried to look at the rest of the 701 canids. 

 

Everyone was standing, even Legosi. When did everyone stand up?

 

Durham and Miguno were just there, motionless, stuck in their own indecision. Collot’s face was blank.

 

The fox kept yelling things, snarling, getting closer and closer until he was almost up in Legosi’s face and the wolf was backstepping in a clumsy retreat.

 

Not again please not again I can’t 

 

A delicate hand took hold of the wolf’s shoulder, and gently pulled Legosi back. 

 

“Well, will you look at that… it’s not easy being a carnivore, is it?”

 

Louis set himself between the two canids, both of them bigger than he was. The red deer continued speaking, “Their personalities and fighting skills can be so very different, no alignment whatsoever. Just look at this poor wolf right here.”

 

The tone in the cafeteria changed so fast now that Louis was involved. Fear was replaced with appreciative clamor, small murmurs of their gratefulness and awe. Someone even gave an excited, girlish squeal.

 

The fox growled, “Now we have someone else who wants to get in on the action? Ha! Correct me if I’m wrong: Louis the red deer … favored buck of that super-rich dynasty. Forget your bodyguard today? Or are we slumming it, wanna get dirty with the rest of us?”

 

Louis replied coolly, “Baring your fangs is against school rules, to say nothing of the law. If you want to bite each other, go do it in the carnivore dorm. That is, if you’re really that set on beating up the disabled.”

 

The fox blinked for just a moment. “The fuck are you talking about? This is between me and the wolf now! He’s the one asking for it!”

 

The fox pointed accusingly at Legosi, only for Louis to swat the fox’s hand down. 

 

Louis said loudly, punctuating it for everyone to hear, “The wolf. Can’t. Speak. He’s dumb. It doesn’t matter how much you threaten him or hurt him, you won’t get anything intelligent out of his mouth. You’ve already won, you freaked him out that bad!”

 

Designs for a grand victory over a large carnivore were quickly slipping from the fox’s mind. Establishing dominance was one thing - but dominance over a “disabled” dog wasn’t anything noteworthy. 

 

Huge wolf or not, there was no strength in that story.

 

The fox scoffed at Louis, sneered, “I guess you’ve got a hard life, too, herbivore. Gotta stick your nose in other people’s business! You want to become the next Beastar so bad, it’s adorable!”

 

Louis just smirked. “Me? Become the next Beastar? Perhaps. Maybe if I really tried. But you’re not even in the running, behaving like this. Don’t be jealous. Just think about why this world needs a Beastar and get a hold of yourselves already! Pull yourself together! Acting like this in front of the cafeteria? You’re shaming yourself and Cherryton itself!”

 

The tide was turning, others were joining in the verbal assault.

 

The fox snarled, “I guess you know how to rack up points after all! Go ahead, be a Beastar or whatever! Hope it makes you feel better, pretty boy! You enjoy it while it lasts. …We’re out of here…”

 

The two quarreling carnivores shoved their way out of the cafeteria, leaving a quiet murmur and quieter applause.

 

Louis stood in silent victory.

 

The noble red deer turned toward Legosi then. Louis was smirking as the deer signed, [I suppose I’ve returned the favor now.]

 

Legosi didn’t realize he was holding his throat until he started signing back, very small, [N-no, I didn’t really do anything. …Thank you for helping…]

 

Something flickered past Louis’ eyes then - some emotion or thought, but Legosi wasn’t sure what. Legosi almost didn’t catch it at all.

 

Louis signed, [How are you feeling? Are you okay?]

 

Legosi’s chest was moving again. At least there was that.

 

Legosi gave a small nod and lied, [Yes. I’m fine.]

 

The red deer moved his arms like he was about to sign something else, then stopped himself. He signed instead, [I’ll see you in class.]

 

Legosi signed, [See you later,] but the red deer was already striding away through the crowd.

 

Jack arrived at last, tugged on the wolf’s sleeve, and tried to ask, [What was that about? He said he owed you a favor? From when? How come?]

 

Legosi glanced at the rest of his breakfast. He didn’t really feel like eating anymore. [It’s nothing,] he told Jack. [Just something for the drama club.]

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated and I enjoy responding. :)

Chapter 5: Plants are great conversationalists

Summary:

Talking to your plants is supposed to be good for them.

But they don't really talk back.

Talking to an anxious wolf is probably also beneficial.

Legosi still had trouble focusing that afternoon.

 

“Legosi?” Dom waved his hand in front of the wolf, “Legosi! Did you hear what I said?”

 

Legosi put down the costume he was holding, tried to lie, nodded ‘yes,’ but then quickly shook his head, ‘no.’ He signed [sorry] faster.

 

Dom said playfully, “You were totally spacing out. We were talking about getting some flowers from the garden club. This year we’re using roses in the final scene. We want to decorate the venue and the entrance with roses as well. The gardening club grows a ton of roses. Kibi can ask them to help us out, but he can’t carry them all himself. You don’t mind going with him, right?”

 

Legosi signed, [It’s fine,] then [When do you want to go?]

 

Dom shrugged, “No time like the present. Kibi, can you go now? I still need to coordinate things here. We can finish with that costume for you.”

 

The anteater stood up from his work and stretched a bit. “Sure, I can do that. Pity it’s up so many stairs…”

 

[Stairs?] Legosi frowned.

 

Kibi led the way through the academy, into one building and then up flight after flight of stairs. Long-legged Legosi was fine with it, but Kibi didn’t have half his height. Kibi had to take the stairs more slowly, was a bit more tired when he got all the way up there.

 

It gave Legosi the time to type, {I didn’t know the garden club was up here.}

 

Kibi breathed kind of heavy, “No surprise there. A lot of students don’t even know we have a gardening club.”

 

Right as they were about to open the door, Legosi took several longer sniffs at the air.

 

…Wait. Is that …?

 

Kibi sniffed, too. “Yeah, the flowers smell nice, don’t they? C’mon, let’s get this finished already.”

 

Legosi wasn’t sniffing because of the flowers though. He was sniffing the air because he smelled a rabbit.

 

Oh no. Ohhhh no.

 

Kibi opened the door and then there was no doubt: the rabbit from the other night was right there, with a watering can.

 

No no. No no no.

 

WHY?

 

The rabbit just laughed, “Haha! Visitors? All the way up here? Well, that’s a surprise. Almost no one ever comes up here.”

 

Legosi’s internal monologue began to panic.

 

I need to get away. Now. Right now! I need to leave but what do I sign?! 

 

Stomach ache? Bathroom? An errand? An errand! Yes! I just have to go do something! Right now!

 

Aggh, Kibi won’t know the signs for that!! I can’t just - leave - he needs the help!

 

Kibi started explaining, “Oh, we came here to pick up some flowers for the welcome performance - for all the new students! We’re with the drama club, the production crew to be specific. We were hoping to get some roses, but - but - OH NO!”

 

Legosi looked down at Kibi, frightened for him. 

 

The anteater clutched his head. 

 

Kibi wailed, “OH CRAP! I JUST REMEMBERED! THERE’S SOMETHING I GOTTA DO!”

 

WHAT.

 

Legosi panicked, head and ears flopping this way and that as Kibi tried to apologize, “Sorry! I’ve really gotta go! Just tell Legosi here what you need, he’s a helper!”

 

No, Kibi, no!

 

Kibi tried to escape. Legosi grabbed the door before Kibi could close it, rasping nonverbally, trying to motion with one hand between them. 

 

Kibi whispered, “Sorry, Legosi! I’ll buy you an ant shake later! I gotta go, don’t ask me why! Don’t forget, the production crew is counting on you! You can take care of the rest, I know you can, thanks, sorry, bye!”

 

Kibi shoved the diagram Dom had made into Legosi’s hands. Legosi hesitated and looked down at it - just long enough for Kibi to close the door and use those tiny feet to flee down the stairs. He left Legosi alone with the rabbit.

 

Legosi swallowed very hard as he turned back around to face her.

 

Oh no. We’re alone. We’re all alone. Together. No no. 

 

Aaaagggghhhhh.

 

The rabbit set down the watering can, seemingly amused as she said, “Sorry your friend had to leave you. …I guess the rumors are spreading pretty fast. Maybe he’s scared of me…”

 

Wait, what? Scared of her?

 

Legosi just looked at her all confused-like, tilting his head to one side doggishly.

 

The rabbit laughed it off, “Oh, you don’t know? Guys can be scared of girls for no good reason. We’re magic. Forget what I said. What about you?”

 

The wolf fussed with his hands in front of him. 

 

What about … me? Does she mean, do I fear her? Or is that about the flowers? I don’t have opinions about the flowers.

 

Me? Fear her? … Okay, yeah, I technically do, but my nerves have been shot ever since … back then …  

 

I shouldn’t be here. I should absolutely not be here.

 

It’s not like I have the right to be scared of her, after what happened the other day. Rex, how badly did I terrify her? Ugh. Aren’t there laws about this? 

 

Rex, even if I could talk, I’m not sure I’d know what to say!

 

Legosi just continued to look confused and shrugged very, very weakly.

 

The rabbit was blissfully immune to his internal panic. Even after what had happened, something about the rabbit was still warm and bright. She glowed like all the rest of the flowers around her. 

 

It was like she absorbed all the goodness she put into that garden, and Legosi couldn’t help but see that.

 

She said merrily, “Well, if you want roses for the welcome performance, I’d recommend mixing different colors. The venue will look too romantic if you only use red ones. People might get the wrong idea, ha!”

 

Legosi gave an awkward huffing noise and handed her the diagram Dom had made. At least Kibi was kind enough to leave him that.

 

The rabbit looked over it for a bit, taking stock of what they were shooting for. “I see… oh, he called you Legosi, right? I’m Haru the dwarf rabbit. That’s a nice scarf. You’re not cold, are you? We get a lot of sun up here.”

 

Legosi shook his head and gripped the scarf a moment. He tightened it a bit, just in case. He really didn’t want to make her any more uncomfortable than he already had the other night, and bigger animals than her felt weird about his scars.

 

Haru just looked entertained. “Well, it’s a nice look for you. Decorative. But I digress. I grow all kinds of roses here. Why don’t you check them out first?”

 

Legosi thought that was as good a plan as any. He shifted uncomfortably on his feet, trying to look at the garden without taking a step. His eyes kept going back down to the rabbit below.

 

She’s so … small. How is she so small? 

 

I mean, she doesn’t ‘feel’ small. She has … presence? Is that what it’s called?

 

She has an atmosphere about her, like Louis.

 

“But first!” Haru said loudly, and it flinched Legosi out of his head. “Could you do me a favor?”

 

Legosi just sort of nodded his head.

 

The rabbit explained, “I can’t give away my sweet children for free … so would you please carry those potted plants to the back of the garden for me? They’re pretty heavy. My children are needy, but I promise they’re grateful. They require a lot of tender love and care, but there’s a limit to what one girl can do, you know?”

 

Legosi just sort of fidgeted a bit, hands in front of him.

 

Plants are children? The plants are her children? Huh?

 

Can I ask her that?

 

I don’t think I’ve even had a conversation with such a small herbivore before.

 

Wait, does this even count as a conversation? I’m not really saying anything. I should really get out my phone.

 

The rabbit started circling around him then and asked him, “Have we got a deal?”

 

Legosi started nodding his head - then flinched as the rabbit felt up his tail.

 

“Your tail is like Godzilla!” Haru exclaimed humorously. “I really don’t want it hurting my plants if you get too excited, but don’t worry! It’s not like I’m gonna cut it off - not when I can just - do - this !”

 

Legosi’s internal monologue went silent as she personally tucked his tail into his suspenders.

 

Legosi had never seen a small herbivore touching a large carnivore like that, much less experienced it for himself.

 

The only ones who ever really touched him were Jack, Gosha and his mom. Maybe Voss, if he needed a ride.

 

Legosi waited for orders like a good little robot, content to be pointed in the right direction. He moved the potted plants over mechanically, one at a time.

 

Haru seemed pleased to chat along on her own, filling the silence between them. “This used to be a lot easier, when we had more members. There were two senior members when I joined, but I’ve been the only member since they graduated four years ago.”

 

She’s been taking care of all these plants and flowers by herself? For four years? Or wait, they graduated, so is that three years?

 

Legosi glanced again at the veritable rainforest surrounding them.

 

I can look all over, at everything here, but a bunch of these plants are bigger than she is.

 

How different does she see things? Not just here, but… Well, I mean, what’s her viewpoint like?

 

“It’s a lot of work on my own hands,” she continued, “But it’s worth it! The school always needs flowers for their events. I can grow my own vegetables, some herbs … and, well, my children need me. I need them, too. …I’m not sure I should be saying this to a wolf, but … the weak have to help each other survive. If we don’t look out for one another, we could trip up and … lose our lives…”

 

Legosi swallowed hard.

 

Is that about the other night?

 

She’s talking about the other night, isn’t she?

 

Please don’t recognize me, please oh please, Louis scared me, it was an accident, I swear.

 

The rabbit must have noticed how uncomfortable Legosi was, because she changed the topic fast. “Hey, I bought some salvia seeds! Would you like to help me plant them?”

 

Legosi was all too happy to hear that. He nodded yes, albeit anxiously.

 

The rabbit smirked, “You really don’t talk much, do you?”

 

Legosi shook his head.

 

Haru laughed, a small quiet laugh, “Well, at least you’re a good listener! I don’t really get many people who want to talk with me.”

 

… I definitely know that feeling … 

 

She started showing him the seeds then, how to put them in the soil - how to care for them, food and water. Legosi just listened. He was distracted, every so often, by some bug that had made a home in her garden. 

 

She laughed a little when he held one up to show her.

 

They did all sorts of things around the garden, attending the flowers for another hour or two. Legosi wasn’t watching the time, he just did whatever she asked. The afternoon went by so fast like that.

 

It’s nice, actually being useful. She’s nice. And happy. I like that she’s happy. She’s so fearless - even after the other day! I think that makes me feel better?

 

Ugh, how does that even work?

 

But, she must not think I’m the same wolf. How would anyone spend time with me if they knew that… 

 

“We can clean up a bit in the club room over there,” she eventually said, and then led him inside with her. They used a little sink and towels to wash the dirt from their hands. “Thanks again for moving all those heavy potted plants. I really appreciate it.” 

 

Legosi tried to give her a big, warm smile - mindful to keep his lips closed. 

 

Something in the club room was vaguely distracting though, to his canid nose. She said she’d been alone, but he still smelled … others? Other people, plural. Especially from the bed.

 

…Why does she have a bed up here? Is it for emergencies? 

 

Does she do special plant medicine or something? Is that a thing? I know the school has an infirmary… 

 

The rabbit just went along talking, so used to their one-sided conversation by then. “Those children of mine were wilting, but I’m sure they’ll recover now that they’ll get more sunlight! You really helped out a lot! …Honestly, you did a lot more work than what I’d normally ask for. …I’d like to express my gratitude somehow… Hey, what’s your favorite food?”

 

My favorite … food?

 

Legosi wasn’t sure how to answer that. His hands just fidgeted in front of him as he tried to actually think that over. He started lifting his hand at one point, then put it back down because, no, that wasn’t quite his favorite either. 

 

Life was just easier (for other people) if Legosi didn’t have an opinion about things.

 

I do like the egg salad sandwiches from the school store on Wednesdays, but … I don’t really want anything. I think I’ve just been enjoying this, being here. Being with her? Or is it the garden?

 

Wait, how do I explain that? That would sound so weird! Big silent carnivore, just wanting to hang around her while she’s all alone? Ugh.

 

Legosi took his phone out for a moment there, trying to think of something to write. His thumbs hovered above the screen.

 

I’m not sure I can sign that, much less type that. How do I …?

 

Haru started looking wearier, but Legosi wasn’t paying attention. He had eyes only for the blank glow of his phone. 

 

Haru whispered, “Oh… I get it… You want what everyone wants. I’m not really in the mood after all the work we just did … but I said I want to repay you, and I do… Although, I’ve never done it with a carnivore before…”

 

Legosi berated himself inside. He wished he could actually come up with something he wanted, something solid to tell her -

 

And then her suspiciously bare arm started to pull the phone out of his hand, and drew his attention to the rest of her body.

 

Legosi gulped. 

 

Haru, half naked, teasingly asked, “Is this your first time with a small animal?”

 

Legosi gave out a strangled breath.

 

Haru started tugging his shirt up. The look on her face was starting to get … predatory? 

 

“Don’t worry about being too rough… I don’t mind.”

 

Oh no. Ohhh no. No no, oh no, no, this is not, please, what -

 

Haru’s voice tried to soothe him, “Just relax… This is my first time with a carnivore, too…”

 

Her hands started undoing his shirt buttons.

 

Legosi felt like he was going to burst into a sweat. 

 

Egg salad! It’s the egg salad, I swear!!

 

She started tugging his shirt out of the way and slid her hands up his bare stomach.

 

Haru said with pleasure, “I can feel your muscles through your fur… You must be even stronger than you look… And the fur on your stomach is the same color as your face… It’s such a beautiful cream color…”

 

His eyes were opening wider.

 

His scarf was in the way of her roaming fingertips

 

Her hands reached up to fuss with the ends of his scarf, “I promise I’ll keep you warm… Can’t I see … how much of you is … cream?”

 

His scarf started coming undone in her hands.

 

Legosi wheezed, pushed off her hands and yanked his scarf tight - far too tight, choking tight - in one quick motion.

 

The atmosphere popped like a soapy bubble.

 

Irritated, Haru rattled off, “Hey! Come on already! At least help me set the mood!”

 

Legosi could not shake his head hard enough.

 

No help - no mood!!

 

The rabbit crossed her arms at the face he was making, “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it?”

 

No, it wasn’t!! Not remotely!!!

 

Wide-eyed Legosi was already fixing his shirt and grabbing his phone.

 

The rabbit looked more confused by the second. She complained, “Okay, the strong and silent type is fine, but you really need to use your words now. I’m getting some seriously mixed messages here. This is what you want, isn’t it? I thought all guys wanted that. Or, wait, … do you … not swing that way? Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course!”

 

Legosi didn’t respond. Legosi couldn’t respond.

 

There was a computer’s blue screen in his mind and it was dead. 

 

He sidestepped around her, trying to stay an arm-length away. He grabbed the blanket off the bed and draped it over her like a cloak. His mouth opened instinctively, wanting to say something, anything, to try to speak, but of course nothing came out. 

 

His hands started gesturing, tried to use some sign, but she wouldn’t know that, right? He may as well be flailing like a crazy person.

 

Legosi ended up running away, with no valid explanation left behind.

 

Haru stood there for a while longer, looking out at her garden, and then she just started laughing, “He ran off! He just … put a blanket on me and ran off? …What the hell? Haha! I guess he really didn’t want to do it after all, but … well, he’s different, that’s for sure. That was really weird, right?”

 

The flowers just stared at her in silent horror.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated and I enjoy responding. :)

Reminder, I'm posting around two chapters a week.

Chapter 6: The trials of good writing

Summary:

Legosi's internal world is … complicated.

Legosi had never texted so angrily in his life, {YOU DITCHED ME!}

 

Kibi laughed awkwardly as the wolf shoved his phone’s screen in the anteater’s face. “S-sorry, Legosi! I had to take off, but - I was waiting for you to come back down, honest! Even though you spent way longer with her than I expected… My phone’s nearly dead…”

 

More angry texting, {What was that all about?!}

 

Kibi glanced around the hall, trying to be certain there were no other students about for eavesdropping. “First, tell me nothing happened. Nothing happened, right?”

 

Legosi just looked at him like he was crazy. {Seriously?!}

 

Kibi defended himself, “Well, I saw you tearing down the stairs, so I thought the worst. I mean, most herbivores have heard the rumors … that she hooks up with all kinds of guys . She’s dangerous, Legosi! People call her a slut. I know, it’s hard to believe it… She really didn’t say anything weird to you?”

 

Legosi gave him a weird expression, then started typing in his phone again. Kibi was at least polite enough to wait the minute, before Legosi showed him, {She talked about her flowers a lot. I helped her with them cause she’s alone. That was it. She spends a lot of time taking really good care of them. She even called them her children.}

 

Conveniently, it was easier to lie when his every sentence was typed out.

 

Kibi seemed to believe him though, nodding as he read it. “I know she looked so small and unassuming … but I guess even she wouldn’t have the guts to make a pass at a wolf.”

 

Legosi took another moment to write, {Let’s talk to the production crew. We don’t need the roses from her. I think she’s attached to her flowers.}

 

Kibi fussed immediately, “Wait, what?! After we waited - I mean, I waited, and you spent all that time helping her! Legosi, the drama club needs those flowers! They’re the whole reason we came!”

 

The wolf gave a wheezy sort of grumble. He eventually added, {We can get flowers from anywhere. She said we should avoid using all red roses anyway. It would make the venue too romantic. Adler’s a tragedy.}

 

The anteater groaned out loud, turned himself around and scratched the sides of his head. He complained, “Fine! It’s fine. We’ll just tell Dom. No, you’re telling Dom! You’re making an executive decision here. I’m not responsible for this any further.”

 

Legosi looked just a bit mischievous as he wrote back, {Sure, Kibi. I’ll tell Dom I handled it allll on my own…}

 

The wolf looked more coy, glancing elsewhere as Kibi read it.

 

Kibi’s frown was starting to shift into a glare. “That’s devious, Legosi. No ant shake for you.”

 

Legosi went on grinning, but explained kindly, {Whatever her reputation, she just seemed like a nice girl. I don’t think you should repeat those rumors.}

 

Kibi groaned again, “Whatever you say, Legosi. Ugh. Now I want an ant shake for myself…”

……

Yes! I got it!

 

In the artificial moonlight of the wolf’s biology room, no one paid any attention to Legosi’s flash of genius. It’s not like they were privy to his thoughts, and none of them had really shown an interest in learning sign.

 

His sudden insight was just all for himself.

 

Still, the large wolf’s tail started swaying automatically behind him.

 

Okay, brain. This shouldn’t have been that hard. People keep calling me dumb and a psycho, people call her a slut. Of course that’s why I don’t care about the rumors. 

 

People say stuff all the time, doesn’t mean it’s true. 

 

I’m sure I have my own rumors, somewhere. Els basically said as much the night I gave her Tem’s letter. 

 

The rest of the girls from the drama club haven’t really said anything else about me though, since then. At least, not that I’ve noticed. 

 

It’s possible Els corrected them anyway…

 

And … yeahhh … Haru was awfully quick to take off her dress.

 

I don’t think I really have room to judge her there though.

 

She said something about guys being afraid of her. Kibi certainly couldn’t wait to run away. If there are all those rumors about her, it might be more than just guys, too. 

 

She said something about … people not talking to her? How did she phrase that… 

 

…I guess I have to wonder … does she feel … alone?

 

If no one wanted to spend time with her, or talk to her … that would change the way she acts, right?

 

I guess it changes the way I act.

 

I don’t think anyone would want to sleep with a scary carnivore like me, but I suppose I have to consider it from her perspective. She has to see things differently. If the only way I could get someone to spend time with me, was to sleep with them? Would I do that?

 

I guess … I … could? Maybe? It’s not like anyone’s remotely cared for me like that, as a guy. Haru was definitely looking at me like I was a guy . You, you know what I mean, brain. Like I’m … a … male wolf? 

 

Legosi felt the weird urge to cough. His tail was very confused.

 

I haven’t exactly had strong feelings of my own either, to anyone. I just … don’t feel that way. I know how I’m supposed to feel. Feelings are just … supposed to happen. Right?

 

I’m supposed to look at a female wolf and be like ‘yes, that is hot. That is a hot feminine body. I like those proportions.’ Something something, ‘breasts.’

 

Ugh, the guys in 701 make it seem so normal, talking about girls, and singers, and actresses… Durham’s got those lewd posters above his bed… I don’t think I’d ever have the audacity to do that, even if I did like girls that way… 

 

Even, even if I was just thinking about people who know how to sign, would I sleep with them to keep them talking to me? 

 

That’s just, well, Jack, Louis, Dom and ...

 

Well, definitely not with Louis. I can’t remotely see him sleeping with me in any shape or form. Louis probably still hates me. Unless it’s like, hate fucking? I’ve heard that’s a thing. 

 

Legosi gave a small laugh to himself, trying to imagine that, and one of the nearby wolves looked at him funny.

 

Not wanting to look like a completely crazy person, Legosi wrote out on his phone, {Don’t mind me. Just remembered a joke.}  

 

That seemed to satisfy them well enough. They went back to moonbathing and paid him no further concern.

 

Legosi went back to thinking things, remembering the day’s events.

 

Maybe Jack. I do like Jack. I’d want to keep him in my life, but Jack also wouldn’t ever treat me that way. He learned sign for me. Plus, I’m pretty sure he feels guilty.

 

I guess Dom is sort of signing with me. He’s making progress. He’s getting closer to conversational level, I think… That does make me feel good. I know he likes guys, but I’m not sure if he ever said it was just bird guys or not. 

 

Most people prefer their own species, if not the same species group. I wonder if that’s different for people like Dom. That is, if you’re already crossing one social norm…?  

 

I can vaguely see myself doing something with him, I guess. If I had to. I suppose, if the choice was ‘no friends’ and ‘one friend,’ a lot of things get slippery fast. 

 

I can’t really hold that against Haru. If it’s even like that.

 

I hated being that alone.

 

Maybe she just likes sex. Nothing wrong with that, right?

 

I don’t care about sex. That’s probably what’s wrong.

 

But it really was nice spending the afternoon with Haru. She asked me for help. I was able to help. And she thanked me for it. 

 

She wanted to thank me for it. It was just nice, being useful, and being recognized for it. Being appreciated.

 

I help the drama club members a lot, but they don’t always say thanks.

 

I scare a bunch of them. I didn’t scare Haru.

 

I can’t say I really cared that much about flowers before today, but the garden smelled really nice. It was a lot nicer than I thought it would be. I can still smell some of the flowers on my clothes. 

 

I do like working with my hands, and unlike electrical work, if I do the wrong thing to a plant, there’s no chance of getting shocked or all the lights going out and getting yelled at by a dozen people.

 

And there were a lot of insects. I think I saw three … maybe five kinds of beetle? That one in the red roses was so shiny in the sun … 

 

I’m not sure if Haru liked them, mixed with all her plants. But plants and insects just go hand in hand, right?

 

Maybe I could offer to help her again? I could bring up the bugs. Maybe if I got a plastic container or something, I could pick them out, bring them back to the room… I don’t think the other guys would mind if I kept them in a box.

 

I’ll just … have to make very, very sure they don’t get out.

 

Ugh, Durham and Miguno would get so loud about some loose bugs, and Collot … Collot would never forgive me if they got in his fur.

 

I should probably leave the bugs in her garden … or move them elsewhere.

 

I guess that means I’ll just have to go back some time. See if she needs more help. It certainly sounds like she has a lot on her plate and not much assistance otherwise.

 

I’ll just make it very clear I want to spend time with her in a non-sexual way. I think. Right?

 

I mean, she’s a rabbit, so … it’s not like I have any feelings for her. Do I?

 

She’s a very small herbivore and I’m a very large carnivore and I should not remotely be entertaining any thoughts about actually having any kind of physical relationship.

 

Rex, that sounds messed up. Okay. I’ll write her a letter first. Yeah. That makes sense. I’ll write her a letter, explain everything ahead of time.

 

That’ll take me … a week … or two … or, a year?

 

Shit.

……

Legosi was several days in and had made zero progress on the letter.

 

He’d started one - he’d started at least ten before - but all had gone the way of the delete button.

 

Legosi stared at a passing insect on the other side of the glass, hoping it would give him some kind of inspiration. No such luck.

 

A sleepy Jack came over to the wolf, yawning, so he signed, [Are you okay, Legosi?]

 

Legosi, leaning so close to their bedroom window, gave a slight nod of his head. He pointed to an insect on the other side and signed, [Ladybug.]

 

Jack just looked amused. “As interested in bugs as always, Legosi?”

 

The wolf nodded slowly. It was as welcome a distraction as any. He gave a slight smile as he explained, [I just like them, you know? I’ve always felt like, insects are focused on what’s directly in front of them, and they aren’t scared of you as long as you don’t hurt them. …Some of the drama club members are focused on the club like that, too. So that’s been nice.]

 

Jack said with a bit of excitement, “Oh, hey! That performance to welcome the new students is coming up soon, isn’t it? I’ll come see it!”

 

Legosi looked a little uncomfortable about that.

 

Jack weathered his enthusiasm and slipped back into the comfort of signing, [But I guess you won’t be on stage, will you?]

 

Legosi - happily - shook his head.

 

Jack kind of smirked, [I think you could be a great actor if you tried. You already know how to talk with your body. Acting is just like that. They’re performing a classic play or something, right? What’s the story about again?]

 

Legosi explained, [It’s called Adler . That’s the name of a grim reaper. He’s supposed to take the life of a girl, but she sweet-talks him into going on a journey with her. He decides to help her, cause she just wants to find a good place to die first.]

 

Jack said playfully, [I bet the grim reaper and the girl start to like each other, right?]

 

Legosi nodded, but he started signing a little smaller then. [They see a lot of things on the way that help them … rediscover the joy of living … but, they both die in the end.]

 

Jack’s brows furrowed. [But that sounds like such a sad story. I guess, I would have liked them to live together at the end. Somehow. But you’re the one seeing the club put it all together. What do you think of it?]

 

Legosi watched the ladybug for another moment. [I think … I like tragedies. …I can relate to them. I find them … soothing.]

 

Jack just looked more uncomfortable. [Legosi, that’s not … it’s not because of what happened to us, is it? Back then?]

 

The wolf blinked. [You mean, the attack? … I don’t know. I never … really thought about it like that. …There’s probably some truth to that. We lost grandma before I was born. Mom has her own problems. I never had a dad. Grandpa puts on a good face, but … I guess, on some level, tragedy just feels … normal?]

 

The yellow lab had lost all sign of a smile.

 

Legosi hated it when Jack looked upset.

 

Legosi swallowed funny. [I’m not being serious, Jack. Stuff just happens, you know? To everybody.]

 

Jack tried to smile through the pain. [Sure, Legosi. Whatever you say.]

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated and I enjoy responding. :)

Chapter 7: Wolf baiting

Summary:

Everyone's feeling the pressure.

Everyone has thoughts about Legosi.

They were getting so close to the show. Everyone in the club was getting more tense, more excited. 

 

Louis cracked down on every little thing that went wrong, the slightest thing out of place. Legosi was no exception, but this was also the wolf’s first real time being in charge of something so important. 

 

It was getting so hard for Legosi to keep his cool. He felt more agitated all the time, startled so easily. He had to be certain he was doing his job right.

 

So Legosi went to Louis’ club room office and started knocking. He was soft about it at first, but there was no response. 

 

He knocked louder. Still no response. He could smell Louis inside, but … 

 

That’s not blood, is it?!

 

Legosi wasn’t sure why, but he panicked. He pushed the door open hard, eyes quick to take in the scene of Louis on the ground. The red deer was surrounded by medical supplies, and was fixing a bloody bandage on his leg. 

 

Legosi signed rapidly, [What’s wrong? Are you okay?? Your leg - is your leg still bad?!]

 

The red deer glared menacingly, trying to hide away the medical supplies. Louis signed angrily in reply, [I’m fine! You’re supposed to knock before entering!]

 

Legosi pulled back, apologized, [I’m sorry! I did knock. I got worried when you didn’t answer.]

 

Louis struggled to get up, then just about slammed the door closed behind Legosi. The deer complained, [It’s not your job to worry about me. Now what do you want?]

 

Legosi swallowed. He felt like shaking. He tried to explain, [I’m in charge of your spotlight tomorrow. I wanted to confirm something with you.]

 

Louis scoffed, “You?”

 

The wolf nodded, pretended not to take offense. [I tried focusing the spotlight more slowly in the final scene, during yesterday’s runthrough.]

 

Louis said flatly, “I noticed.”

 

Legosi grit his teeth in the hope it might give him strength. He tried to sign more slowly, purposefully, [I thought it might be better to linger on the final moment of the play … but I’m not sure which lighting would be most effective. I wanted your opinion before making a final decision.]

 

Louis was glaring at Legosi’s hands for some reason. Louis signed, [Your body is always flaunting its power.]

 

Legosi blinked. [What? What do you mean?]

 

Louis started stepping closer. [You know what I mean. You can’t control your wild nature, can you? …You think I can’t see? You’re always having problems trying to handle your intrinsic savagery. Your desire to pounce!]

 

Legosi’s ears were falling lower. [I don’t think you’re using those signs the right way.]

 

Louis complained, [I know exactly what I’m signing! And so do you! And, there’s something I’ve always wanted to ask you: why do you refuse to own your real strength ??]

 

Legosi swallowed hard. His scarf suddenly felt tight. His heart was getting too fast, he needed to look away.

 

Louis grabbed him by the scarf and yanked his attention back to him. “I wish you’d stop holding back all the time! Just show it to me! You have claws! You have fangs! Bare them for once!”

 

Legosi signed so small, [I can’t. I’d be breaking the law. Baring my fangs at an herbivore -]

 

Louis signed so big and loud, [Don’t you dare me lump me in with other herbivores! You try to slink around so no one notices you, but you’re always going out of your way to suck up to people! It’s large carnivores like you who piss me off the most! Quit acting all high and mighty and just, just challenge me sometimes - with everything you’ve got ! Just, bite me, Legosi! BITE ME !!]

 

Legosi forcefully pushed him away and they both nearly fell over as Legosi tried to put space between them. 

 

For a split second, Louis looked defeated. But that was a face he refused to wear long.

 

Legosi was grabbing his own neck again, breathing so hard, trying to loosen his scarf, but he used his free hand to sign [Sorry] again and again.

 

He couldn’t look at Louis, not for a second more.

 

Legosi was still panting as he started to sign, [I don’t want to stand out! I don’t want other people to even notice me! There’s no place in the world for me! How do you not see that?? You see me more than anyone else! I can’t fit in here, I can’t fit in at home, I can’t fit in at a deaf school! Everywhere I go, I’m just - wrong! You act like I’m some powerful wolf, when I can’t even talk! I can’t growl, I can’t bark, I can’t howl! I can’t do anything! Someone bares their fangs and it’s like I’m in a dirty alley all over again! But it’s different for you…] 

 

[…Louis, you actually are powerful! You can do anything you want, stand up to anyone in your way! You’re the one who stops the bullies, who keeps things in line, who makes things perfect! You’re so powerful, it’s terrifying! But if you’re powerful, you can change things, for the better. Then we don’t have to worry! Then people like Tem… Tem can… There’s hope … if you’re strong. I can … hope. That things will get better. …Everyone will see that tomorrow, when you’re on stage, and … maybe then things can get better. I just want things to get better… Just, forget this. I’m rambling. I’ll go. Just text me what you want.]

 

Legosi needed to leave. He scrunched his eyes shut. He didn’t think he could have kept signing anyway. He just needed to go somewhere dark, and be alone, and just … wheeze.

 

Everything was terrible. 

 

I never should have come here .

……

Louis texted him later.

 

{Sorry. I trust your judgement.}

 

That was all.

 

Legosi didn’t take a risk for more.

……

Everything fell apart after the very first show.

 

Legosi did his job fine. Everyone did fine. Louis was magnificent.

 

Louis’ leg just gave out at some point. They said Louis got a stress fracture during the performance, but Legosi wasn’t sure. Louis might have had it the whole time, ever since that night in the gym.

 

Maybe he’d been in pain the whole time. 

 

Louis still started dictating orders the moment he was awake, telling Bill to take on his role as Adler. But with Bill having to switch characters? Someone needed to fill in for Bill’s role, too.

 

I’m just going to leave. I’m just going to leave, and I’m never coming back.

 

Bill was getting suspiciously friendly with him, practically dragging him into a side hug. “Come on, Legosi! You’ll be fine. I’ve played your role. It’s a bit part, honest. You’re only supposed to have two lines and I can act around that. Someone could just shout them off-stage. You’re always watching us from up in the lighting booth, so you must have some idea of the choreography. We’ll start slow, okay?”

 

I am not okay. I am not remotely okay.

 

At least he could still stand up to Bill, when the tiger started fighting him with their practice swords.

 

Legosi was reminded, on some level, of self-defense training with his grandpa. Bill was slower than Gosha, maybe as strong (Legosi couldn’t tell, Gosha always seemed to hold back), but Bill definitely didn’t know how to use his strength as well as Gosha did.

 

Legosi wasn’t remembering the choreography, he was just instinctively trying to block the tiger’s attacks. 

 

He must have been doing something right, cause Bill started laughing, “You’re doing great! Yes! This is what I’d expect from a big gray wolf! Come on, Legosi, you’re enjoying this, too, aren’t you?”

 

Legosi firmly shook his head. He felt one wrong look away from panicking again.

 

They continued to battle back and forth across the stage. Legosi started getting a feel for the way Bill was going to attack before he did it, and paced himself to the tiger’s movements.

 

Bill teased, “Ah, Legosi!~ This is perfect! I never dreamed I’d get the chance to fight like this, without having to hold back!”

 

The tiger leaned in closer as they crossed swords, and whispered, “Listen, Legosi: there’s no reason carnivores like us can’t step into the spotlight. Tomorrow, I’ll finally get the chance to show everyone … how the powerful can shine … when we don’t have to hide our strength!”

 

Legosi put his body behind one explosive attack, and he practically launched Bill off his feet. 

 

The tiger stumbled a moment, almost falling, arms flailing to balance, then he laughed again as he caught himself. 

 

Bill was ecstatic, “Yes! Yes, just like that! I’m a tiger. You’re a wolf! We don’t even need to fake this fight. Tomorrow’s performance is going to be the best ever because of us! So let’s give it everything we’ve got!!”

 

I don’t want to give it anything.

 

Legosi was already imagining how many blankets he could hide in, all night long. 

……

Legosi trudged towards his dorm slowly, breath still coming out in heavy sighs every so often. When he had the energy to raise his head, he could glance at the moon.

 

Els called out, “Oh, Legosi!”

 

The wolf turned as the goat came running up, and she asked, “Is your rehearsal over?”

 

Legosi nodded. Then he pointed at her and gave a questioning face.

 

“Yeah, ours is, too,” Els understood. “The dancers are all finished. Let’s head back to the dorms together?”

 

Legosi just sort of gave a weak nod, and tried to pace himself to her shorter legs. Their dorms weren’t exactly side by side, but he didn’t mind going with her to hers.

 

Els eventually sighed out, “Stuff keeps going wrong this year… I really hope things go smoothly tomorrow. Bill’s acting like nothing fazes him, as usual, but … I think he’s actually super nervous. I think he’s just talking tough to psych himself up for tomorrow. You’ll have Bill’s back, right?”

 

Legosi fussed with his hands as he tried to think of something to say.

 

Els corrected herself, trying to be happy, “I mean, Bill’s great! I’m sure he’ll do a good job - and so will you!”

 

I wish I had her self-confidence.

 

Legosi pointed to himself and shook his head a little.

 

Els replied, “What? Yes, you will! You’re going to do great, Legosi. I know you will. I’ll be rooting for you out there!”

 

Legosi wasn’t sure why, but he ended up giving her a smile.

 

Els teased, “Wow.~ I think that’s the first time I’ve actually seen you smile!”

 

Legosi made another questioning frown, like he didn’t believe her.

 

I smile...

 

Els laughed, “I mean it! You have a very nice smile, Legosi. You just wait. Someday, I’m sure everyone will appreciate you. We’re going to make tomorrow’s performance a rousing success!!”

 

Legosi gave her another small smile as she went inside the herbivore dorm, leaving the wolf out under the moon. 

 

It’d be nice if I could believe that, but … I guess I’ll try to do my best. I can always drop out afterward… I should probably just plan for that…

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated.

Next up? Legosi finally snaps, and we step out into very different territory.

Chapter 8: Going off-script

Summary:

We're off the beaten path now, friends...

[What's the story about again?]

[It’s called Adler. He’s a grim reaper, supposed to take the life of a girl, but she sweet-talks him into going on a journey with her… They see a lot of things on the way that help them … rediscover the joy of living …]

Legosi would like to rediscover that, too.

Legosi didn’t think he could feel more uncomfortable about the show. He was wrong. Barely an hour to start and the production crew only just brought out his costume.

 

Legosi looked at Dom, aghast, [Seriously?!]

 

The group just held the pieces up: ragged old pants, an ancient weathered cloak, and some kind of moth-eaten wrappings for the dead. A burial shroud.

 

Like a corpse fresh from an ancient grave. 

 

Legosi wondered if they pulled that from their store of old costumes, or actually broke into somebody’s tomb.

 

Kai tried to appease him with a lie, “We stayed up all night designing it for you!”

 

Dom gulped. “Well, actually, we stayed up all night getting Bill’s costume ready. Louis likes his clothes big, but Bill is twice his size…” 

 

Legosi rubbed his forehead. He wanted to groan.

 

Tired and grumpy, Kibi fussed closer, “Okay, listen! Legosi, I am only saying this once and it’s embarrassing enough that I have to be the one to say it. Legosi: you - are - hot. You’ve got this tall, lean carnivore thing going for you, but you’re built like a rock, and it’s honestly annoying for us average types.”

 

Legosi’s ears drooped a bit. He felt warmer and tugged at his scarf.

 

Dom shoved the anteater aside with his arms, trying to cover his mouth. He laughed awkwardly, “W-what Kibi means is, you’re slender and well-muscled, so w-we went for a sexy design! You don’t need to speak for this. You’ll capture the audience with your physique!”

 

Kai tried to add, “Y-yeah! You’re, uh, handsome!”

 

Kibi fought Dom’s arms off, then complained, “Seriously, Legosi! We’ve all seen you change in the locker room! You don’t have anything to be modest about. You don’t even play sports! It’s not fair. Why are you built like that?”

 

Legosi rubbed at his throat, then signed small.

 

Dom squinted and tried to translate, “Uhh. He’s said it, past - said it before! … his father’s father? … A lot … worked out, worked on? … Skills something …? Ugh! Sorry, Legosi! I don’t know half those signs yet. Maybe you should write it down.”

 

Louis was hobbling around to check on all the crew, but stopped long enough to shout over, “He’s said it before! His grandfather helped him train growing up. They worked on self-defense skills. Knowing how to fight was supposed to build his confidence! He still trains a lot on his own time.”

 

Legosi meekly signed his [thanks] towards Louis, who grumbled back, “It’s fine.”

 

Would have been nice if it really did help my confidence.

 

Louis went hobbling away.

 

Dom tried to be empathetic, “Legosi, I know you’re modest about certain things. Try not to worry! We know what we’re doing. This is what theater is all about! It’s just fancy pretending! Giving people a certain impression even - and especially - if you don’t feel that way yourself. You’ll be on stage for two minutes, five minutes tops! It’s just a short pretend fight with Bill! That’s all you have to manage. Five minutes. That’s not so bad, right?”

 

Legosi sighed heavily, looking down and away. He surrendered, [Fine.]

 

Legosi undressed behind a little screen, changed into the pants. He still tried to keep his neck covered with a hand. 

 

The crew did all the rest, putting the funeral wrappings around parts of his face and upper body. They put extra wrappings around his neck, to mostly hide his scars. Then they added some makeup, gave him a few extra sinister touches around the face, to make him look even more undead. 

 

Then he stepped off to the side, trying to stay out of people’s way as the show began. The cloak helped with his modesty, and so did the dark. His heart felt like it was pounding the whole time. 

 

It was still a lot of waiting. It reminded him of that night behind the gym, when Louis had him stand guard. Legosi hated the way it made his blood race. He tried to focus on breathing in slowly through his nose, out through his mouth.

 

They were halfway through the show, at the intermission, before something stood out to his nose.

 

Maybe it was part of being on edge all the time, but Legosi was getting better at picking out a certain sort of scent.

 

A red scent.

 

Legosi didn’t like that he was smelling that at all.

 

Everyone else was busy, preparing for the next half. No one else seemed to have noticed it yet. 

 

There was Bill, coming closer in his version of Adler’s costume. He had an anxious air about him and he was forcing a smile. He tried to sound relaxed, “H-hey there, Legosi! Louis and I were just talking about you earlier. We wanted to make sure you’re ready, mentally. You looked really awkward yesterday. Our fight is gonna be in a half hour or so. I’m not nervous. Are you?”

 

Legosi sniffed the air again, to be sure. He stared at Bill.

 

Bill stammered, “Right. Don’t know what I was expecting. S-so anyway, the success of today’s performance still depends on the two of us, so … uh … let’s give it our best! Get your game face on, all that jazz.”

 

Legosi just stared harder, more concerned. He tried to ask, [Are you ok?]

 

Bill swallowed funny. “What’s wrong? You’re acting even weirder than usual.”

 

Legosi insistently signed, [What?], and pointed at Bill’s pocket.

 

The tiger promptly turned around, raised his voice, “Hey, we’ve got ten minutes till we start, right?! I gotta go take a leak!”

 

Dom and Sanu yelled at them as Bill ran off, and Legosi ran right after him, signing, [I’ll be right back.]

 

Legosi chased him all the way to the men’s bathroom, where they could be alone.

 

Legosi wasn’t sure why he did that. 

 

Was it some weird kind of instinct? A primal urge to chase?

 

Bill was breathing suspiciously hard, and sounded like he was trying to convince himself as he grumbled, “Legosi, what’s your problem? Do you like me so much you had to follow me to the restroom? If you came here to confess your love for me, make it quick already. We can make out after the show’s over.”

 

Bill didn’t know much sign, Legosi knew that - but Legosi also knew how to gesture just fine.

 

Visibly concerned, Legosi tapped his own nose twice and pointed directly at Bill’s pocket again.

 

Bill laughed awkwardly, “Guess I can’t fool the nose of a large canid… Well? You, uh, want a sip for yourself?”

 

The wolf inhaled sharply as Bill held up the vial of blood.

 

One massive cold chill swept up the entire length of Legosi’s body, toes to ears. His tail shot up.

 

There was a flash of some old memory. He saw the fangs of the dead. 

 

Something inside shifted, something clicked, and Legosi’s arteries were pumping even crazier.

 

“It’s rabbit blood,” Bill explained with disgusting ease. “H-hey, don’t judge me! I didn’t get this from any rabbit students at Cherryton! I have this older tiger friend, who’s kind of a thug… He’s the one who gave it to me. I decided to keep it in case I ever really needed it … and I really need it now, so … I’m gonna drink it.”

 

Faster than he planned, Legosi slammed Bill into the wall.

 

Instinct again? What was wrong with him?

 

The tiger tried to push him off, “ Whoa ! Whoa, come on! Listen to me! Listen ! Who are you to judge me?! You have an easy life, Legosi! You’re always hiding in the shadows! But I don’t want to live like that, like you! I want to be in the light! This is legit doping! You’ll never understand because you’ve never had to deal with the kind of pressure I have!”

 

Legosi scoffed darkly. 

 

He wanted to laugh.

 

Legosi signed and tried to mouth the words he couldn’t speak: [ You think I don’t know pressure ?]

 

Legosi shook his head slowly. He was smirking for some vicious reason.

 

He gestured to convey his point.

 

Legosi slammed a fist into the palm of his other hand - pointed at the room around them - and shook his head.

 

Legosi again slammed a fist into the palm of his other hand - pointed towards the direction of the stage - and then nodded.

 

Bill understood, “You want to fight on stage?”

 

Bill was the one who suggested they make it real, just one night ago. 

 

Something inside the wolf was so angry, churning in his chest. His skin didn’t feel like his own, like he was someone’s puppet.

 

‘Legosi’ nodded, huffed the air out.

 

Bill looked even more unnerved. He grit his fanged teeth, tried to smile. “Sure. That’ll work, Legosi. You just - you come at me for real out there. Like we practiced! If you want to fight that bad? Yeah. …Yeah! That’s a great face you’re making, Legosi! Now you look like a real carnivore! Now you’re ready to be an actor! Let’s give everybody a show!!”

……

Legosi was in the strangest sensation of a trance then. 

 

A pair from the crew gave his makeup a quick touch-up, to maximize that sinister, undead feel. 

 

Legosi cared more about the weapon. He picked up the fake sword, and tested its weight in his hand. The old training sword he used with Gosha was heavier. He wondered if this could even stand up to a real fight.

 

Was he really doing this? Something felt wrong in his brain, and he didn’t want to stop. 

 

No. He did want to stop. He … couldn’t?

 

It’s wrong.

 

It’s all wrong.

 

Sanu whispered as the dazed wolf walked by, “Legosi? Wow, I didn’t recognize you at first. They sure did good at making you look scary. How do you like - um, tell me later! You gotta go on!”

 

Legosi took the first few steps out onto the stage, into the full light and view of several thousand students. His heart rate hadn’t slowed down, not for a minute. He tried to focus his eyes only on the tiger.

 

Bandaged and cloaked, his dark gray form strode out powerful and tall - walking in a way he never had before.

 

I can still stop.

 

I can stop. 

 

I haven’t done anything.

 

We can still fake it. I can - stop.

 

Bill didn’t sound so sure of himself as he gave his lines, “You have arrived, oh demon! I see even you wish to drag me back down! But I have already beaten the rest, if you are intent to join them! I have no choice! I must see this through! Accept your own fate, and die at peace!”

 

Bill snarled, fangs wide, and suddenly Legosi wasn’t on stage anymore. 

 

He was back in a dirty alley.

 

It had been a tiger then, too.

 

Accept my fate?

 

Die at peace?

 

I will do no such thing.

 

Everything changed with that first step. 

 

Sword drawn, Legosi moved forward so fast, the cloak flew off his back. 

 

He came at Bill with wild abandon, slashing one angle, then the opposite - back and forth and back and forth, beating the tiger into a retreat with pure ferocity.

 

A surprised Bill had to focus just on blocking, catching each blow - had to brace his fake sword with both hands because of the explosive force Legosi put into each swing.

 

It wasn’t like their rehearsal fight, not at all.

 

Legosi wasn’t defending, he wasn’t even allowing Bill to attack back. 

 

Legosi was opening up with everything, with years of contained fury, finally allowed the chance to explode, to burst forth.

 

Bill was the target of more than ten years of rage, of all Gosha’s lessons turned violent, malevolent. 

 

* Don’t hold back. *

 

Bill was knocked clear off his feet, and Legosi moved to stab downwards.

 

Bill rolled away - Legosi’s sword caught Bill’s cape, and the fabric ripped free from his shoulders.

 

The tiger rapidly got back up, only for Legosi to employ Adler’s cape as a second weapon, twisted around like a makeshift whip.

 

* Use anything. *

 

Legosi slapped him with the cape, used its range against the tiger, smacked it back and forth to punish and taunt. The wolf flowed with it so fast, like water, attacking with cloth and blade.

 

* Deny them their strength. *

 

The tiger was properly angry, baring his fangs wide - another flash, another memory - and Legosi lashed the tiger’s face with his cape. 

 

* Deny them everything! *

 

The tiger went to snarl. Legosi parried Bill’s blade, and promptly swatted the flat of his sword across the tiger’s mouth, bloodying his lips.

 

Another flash went past his eyes - but if Bill wanted to show those fangs, then he was going to pay for it. 

 

Bill had to retreat, teeth gritting, lips red, had to backpedal from the continued onslaught. He scrambled to the other side of the stage for more room.

 

* Speed is power! Speed is key! *

 

Several more attacks with Legosi’s sword, and it didn’t matter that the blade was dull and fake - he was still tearing open parts of Bill’s costume, ruining it, a few inches at a time.

 

He was tearing Bill down, and everyone was stuck watching it. 

 

Bill, backed into a corner, finally abandoned his safety and put everything into offense. He wielded his sword with both heavy hands, chopping back at Legosi. 

 

Legosi parried them aside, pitting strength to strength, but the wolf’s sword could take no more. It was giving, splintering. Bill slashed sideways at Legosi’s sword. The top third shattered off.

 

Bill grinned like he won.

 

* And the ground is Death! *

 

The wolf waited for that split second, where the tiger tried to strike a killing blow. Legosi shifted aside, and used the cape for leverage against him. 

 

Legosi grabbed, pulled and twisted with his body, and Bill was flipped entirely over onto his back. 

 

Bill’s sword slid too far away.

 

Before Bill could get back up, the broken end of Legosi’s sword was pointed sharply at the tiger’s chest.

 

Bill was heaving for air, looking up in terror at the suddenly very real risk of being run through by the wolf towering over him.

 

In the harsh stage lights, Legosi’s heated breath was smoking from his lips. His eyes were fierce and far-away. His hand was shaking on the hilt - like it was a struggle, like he actually had to decide if he wanted this tiger dead, too.

 

And in that moment? 

 

…Legosi really did look like a demon.

 

A second Adler slipped his sword underneath Legosi’s, lifting their blades up and away from Bill, and there was Louis - trying to get between them.

 

Louis signed one handed, [What is wrong with you?! Have you gone completely insane?!]

 

The audience was too spellbound to even breathe.

 

Legosi threw his makeshift weapons down so hard, his sword stabbed into the floorboards, and he signed violently back with both dangerous arms, [I’m doing what you wanted ! What you both wanted !! You wanted to see strength ?! You wanted to see power ?! Fine! I can show you that! I can show everyone that !]

 

The audience didn’t understand the movements. It didn’t matter. It enraptured them. They saw passion on every inch of his flesh. Legosi only signed greater, [I am so fucking tired of living this half life, this fucking shadow life! I have to work twice as hard to be treated even half as smart! He stands before everyone, proud and loud, and he can do that even with blood on him! I can’t allow that! I won’t allow that!! I hurt so much in the dark, but he says ‘I can’t understand the pressure’?! Fuck off, the both of you!! But what do I know?? I’m just a “dumb” fucking dog, aren’t I?!]

 

Louis stared down, glaring at Bill before he turned his eyes back to Legosi. 

 

Louis sheathed his own sword, and signed, [ I didn’t mean it like that .]

 

[Yes, you did! You fucking did! ] Legosi signed even more angrily, tension and rage overflowing in every line of his bare body, all the way down to the stomping of his feet. [You think I’m too stupid to know how you feel?! The way you treat me every single day?? I’m beneath you! I’m your frustration! I’m your idiot , and you were forced to take care of me! Every single day with you, and your hatred for me is always there under the surface! You detest me! You’d love to shove me in a dark cell, and forget I ever existed ! You can fool everyone else, but you can’t fool me ! What a great fucking Adler we have, the two of you! The carnivore that needs blood to get by, the herbivore who gets off on hurting others!!]

 

Legosi started ripping off the wrappings of the dead, getting them off his face, getting them off his ruined neck - baring the massive, fatal-looking scars for everyone to see. 

 

Someone’s small gasp shook the silence. Legosi began again, [This entire show is a farce ! It’s not a tragedy! It’s a laugh, but the joke has always been on me! So great and powerful , grim reaper! You tell me that, Adler ! You tell me: where’s the joy in fucking living, when you’re just everyone’s fool?!]

 

Even with several thousand students, the room was so quiet that every last one of them heard Louis’ answer.

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Legosi still breathed out steam.

 

“I don’t know!” Louis said louder. “This wasn’t how I thought it would go! It was supposed to be different! I didn’t start this year, this journey, thinking it would lead us to here! I wish I wasn’t ignorant, but clearly I am! You are not a fool, and you’re not a demon - I don’t know what you are yet, but I didn’t mean to hurt you like that! I didn’t mean for - this!”

 

Legosi was finally running out of rage. His whole body was caving in with every haggard breath, and he squeezed his eyes shut. He signed, [I’m going.]

 

“No,” Louis moved, grabbing Legosi by the wrist. “Don’t go. I don’t yet know where I’m going, how I’m going to finish this - but I can’t get there, by cutting off all the unwanted parts of my life. Can I?”

 

A rhetorical question.

 

Louis reached down to take hold of Bill’s hand, too. “We can finish this, all of ourselves, together. Maybe that’s the only way it could ever be finished.”

 

Legosi signed, weaker, [I’m not made for the light.]

 

Louis replied powerfully, “Then we can fade together.”

 

Sanu dropped the curtains. End scene.

Chapter 9: Heard

Summary:

Their Adler improvisation has consequences.

Not all consequences are bad.

The crowd was delivering a thunderous applause. They weren’t supposed to - the show wasn’t over, they had another scene or two to finish, but Louis’ quick brain was already on damage control.

 

Louis took charge the moment those curtains fell, used the applause to hide the way he half yelled, “Dom! Duct tape and Bill’s hat, now!”

 

The tiger and wolf started slinking off, and Louis could only grab one. 

 

Bill .

 

Bill was still due on stage, Louis had to prioritize him. He grabbed the tiger’s arm.

 

With his broken leg, Louis half dragged, half hopped over with Bill as a crutch. He snatched Legosi’s cloak off the ground - forgotten at the very start of their fight - and quickly tied it around Bill’s neck.

 

Louis whispered to the tiger alone, clear and harsh, “Ellen comes in next, she asks where you were.”

 

The tiger’s eyes shot wide and he rapidly whispered back, “We can’t do the next scene! Not after this mess!”

 

Louis grabbed Bill’s torn shirt tight, still hushed as he shot back, “Yes, you can! You fucking can! You’re Bill the fucking tiger, and you can bring this shit home! She asks where, you tell her, you had to ‘make peace with a part of you that you thought you had buried’. Do you hear me?”

 

Bill swallowed very hard, repeated in confusion, “Make peace with a part of me?”

 

Dom had the hat and tape, “Louis, what do you need?”

 

The red deer shot back, “Just get Bill Legosi’s sword.”

 

Louis didn’t waste time explaining about the tape. The deer twisted and pried his prosthetic antlers free from his own head - shushed them all with a glare as he proceeded to stab the bottoms of his fake antlers into Adler’s hat. He duct taped it intensely on the inside, to secure the antlers, then slammed the hat onto Bill’s head.

 

Bill’s reaper costume, Louis’ antlers, Legosi’s cloak and sword.

 

Three facets of their improvised Adler: broken, battered, but surviving.

 

Some things just don’t stay buried.

 

Even your demons.

 

Louis saw the understanding in the tiger’s eyes, and the sudden resolve that came with it.

 

This was a huge, patched-together stretch of an ending, but fuck it, it was the best they could manage on short notice. It was up to Bill to sell it now.

 

Dom hurried over with Legosi’s broken sword.

 

The tiger puffed out his chest as he gripped the hilt, as if he was holding a piece of Legosi’s incredible strength. Bill whispered, “Right. ‘Make peace with me, what I thought I buried’.”

 

The red deer grinned approvingly, “You’ve got this, Bill. Now finish this fucker!”

……

The crowd was clapping so loud. 

 

Legosi wanted to be alone.

 

Between that and the closed curtains, it broke whatever moment the wolf and deer had been having. Legosi assumed that Louis did something right on stage, if that clapping was any indication. 

 

Curtains down, Bill and Louis were talking about something, right there on the stage, but the wolf just wanted to be gone.

 

As far away as possible, from everything.

 

Legosi moved like a haunted specter - yet he was barely a few feet away from Louis and Bill before Els was running over, rambling about how incredible it all looked.

 

Els grabbed at his arm even as the wolf walked further off stage with her, “Legosi, that was amazing! The way you fought - so hard and so fast! Just, swish, slash, whack, everything! Just! Wow! I knew you were strong but I had no idea how fast or how powerful! That was incredible!”

 

The wolf frowned.

 

The others were waiting further aside.

 

Aoba had his arms crossed, must have heard her cause he added, “Well, I knew it. Legosi’s big even for a gray wolf. Of course he can fight that well, when his head is in the game.” 

 

Tao still whispered, “Dude, that was just insane! I’ve never seen a stunt fight with that much intensity in my life, and I thought Bill and I were pretty good at it!”

 

Even Kibi was surprised, “Legosi, just - the feeling of it all! Rex!! I have no idea what you were saying, but I didn’t need to! I got goosebumps watching you, the way you delivered every line - the way your emotion carried through to your fists, your toes, your ears - everything! I didn’t know you could act even half as good as all that.”

 

Legosi smiled weakly.

 

Yeah. …Acting. It was all … acting.

 

Legosi signed his [thanks,] hoping they all at least would recognize that one.

 

Sheila was more direct about it, “If the three of you were going to change the scene, you should have told us about it! We could have prepared, or - something! You have to know how bad this looks!”

 

Ears fallen, Legosi rubbed awkwardly at his bare neck. It had been so long since he hadn’t worn a scarf around so many people. No shirt and no burial shroud were starting to make the wolf uncomfortable at the center of all this attention. He tried to gesture that he was just going to get dressed and he’d be right back. 

 

Sheila grumbled, “Ugh, fine, you do that. I can grill Louis and Bill quicker anyway.”

 

The group gave him a few final fist bumps and awkward pats of appreciation. 

 

Then Legosi slipped away like a shadow.

……

At the very end of the show, the crowd was clapping again with phenomenal intensity, on the other side of the curtains.

 

Whether it was the ass-kicking by Legosi or Louis’ encouragement, Bill actually pulled it off. Maybe he had to get out of his own head, too.

 

Still, Sanu and Sheila most definitely took it up with Bill and Louis. 

 

The old bird fussed, “Why the hell did you leave so many things up in the air to the very last second?? The end of the last show is not the right time to be improvising anything!”

 

Louis looked at Bill. Bill looked at Louis. 

 

Louis lied with startling ease, “Oh, we wanted to surprise everyone. Legosi’s so self-conscious, and he knows that. We all wanted to make it look good. So we helped him work himself up for the scene, that’s all. The sword wasn’t supposed to break - that was an accident - but don’t worry. The crowd had to see me with my antlers to recognize them on Bill. We worked it all out - right, Bill?”

 

The tiger gave an awkward smile and tried to bullshit, “Y-yeah! I think it, uh, worked out great! The spirit of Adler as a hybrid, a reaper bridging the gap between herbivore and carnivore, life and death - a split soul that kept him from enjoying the life he had. He had to embrace himself, all of himself. Right. I, uh, knew Legosi was just acting, but he still kinda scared me out there a minute. Legosi can look really fierce when he wants to!”

 

Louis glanced around more then, trying to scan past the other members of the crew. He asked, “Where is Legosi? I wanted to - congratulate him.”

 

Sheila looked and replied, “He’s not back yet? I think he went to get dressed or something, but that was a while ago.”

 

The red deer frowned. “I’ll go look for him while you guys wrap up. I can’t do much to help with my crutches anyway.”

 

The tiger was even then trying to sneak off, only for Louis to call him, “Oh, and Bill!”

 

The tiger flinched, “Y-yeah, Louis?”

 

Louis snatched the antler hat off of Bill’s head, and put it back on himself. The red deer said with a subtle menace, “We should probably talk more later.”

 

Bill gulped. “Yes, Louis.”

……

Louis limped his way all over outside the auditorium, checking the crowd, scanning for the wolf. Louis assumed he might have gone to his room in the carnivore dorm, but Louis couldn’t check there. Just to be sure, Louis walked over to the drama club’s main building. That’s where he found him.

 

Legosi hadn’t bothered turning on the lights, since it was just him. Carnivore eyes and all. The wolf was fully dressed, all save a scarf - he forgot that in the auditorium, and wasn’t going back for it. But Legosi was still getting the rest of his things out of his personal locker.

 

All of his things. 

 

Out, and into a backpack. 

 

Louis flicked the light switch on. Eyes snapped to worry as he saw Legosi clearing out the last of the wolf’s belongings from his locker. Louis asked in half shock, half disbelief, “What are you doing??”

 

Legosi just sort of stared blankly at him. [What does it look like? I’m getting my things. I’m dropping out.]

 

Louis frowned hard, said loudly, “What? Why?! The show was a success - better than a success! They loved it! People outside the auditorium are still talking about your performance.”

 

Legosi huffed, [It wasn’t a performance! I could have killed Bill! I couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t even know why I did all that. I need to go. I don’t belong here. I never did.]

 

Legosi started to put his backpack on, but Louis limped in the way with his crutches. 

 

Louis told him, “You can’t go.”

 

[Watch me,] Legosi flicked the signs and just went around him.

 

The red deer hobbled in front of him again, trying to block the door - and yelled at him, “I’m sorry!!”

 

Legosi squinted at him for a second. 

 

Louis took the time to forcefully sign his apology, [I’m sorry], as well.

 

Legosi looked at the deer with bleary eyes. [I’m not in the mood for more acting, Louis.]

 

Louis took a deeper breath. [I’m not acting. I’m sorry. I’ve treated you like shit, and you didn’t deserve that.]

 

[No, I didn’t,] Legosi agreed. [You should be happy. You won’t get stuck with me in a group project ever again.]

 

Louis signed back, [I’m never happy.]

 

It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, but Legosi snorted at it anyway. 

 

It took Louis another moment to get his thoughts in order, and admit, [You were right about me. I did think you were an idiot. I never wanted to be your interpreter, you were forced on me. And … I’m a shitty person. I took things out on you. And others … a lot of others. …That was wrong. I didn’t mean to do that, but I guess that really is what I was doing. You were right to call me out like that on stage. But when I hurt my leg, you came running to help. You gave up a scarf to bandage it and I know how much those mean to you. When I didn’t answer the other day, you came rushing into the office to make sure I was alright.]

 

Legosi replied flatly, [You don’t have to worry about me doing that ever again. You won’t even see me, I promise.]

 

Louis grimaced and yelled at the same time, “Damn it, Legosi, I don’t want you to go!!”

 

The wolf didn’t move. He was still just staring at him, like he didn’t believe anything anymore. He didn’t have the energy to - it was all spent on stage. Legosi would have pushed Louis out of the way of the door already, but not with Louis relying on those crutches like that.

 

Louis tugged Adler’s hat off his head, and let his fake antlers drop with it onto the floor.

 

There, in that moment, some expression passed across the red deer’s face.

 

Legosi had never seen him make that face before.

 

Louis looked like … he was just a regular kid, and lost.

 

Louis reached into his uniform jacket’s pocket. He pulled out Legosi’s old scarf - the one Legosi had used to bandage the deer’s leg. 

 

Louis tried to explain, [I never knew when was a good time to return this. Chalk it up to one more thing I’m ignorant about… I don’t know how to talk about my scars… I can’t afford to let anyone see mine. That’s not an excuse, I should never have been venting on you, or anyone. I didn’t mean to. You’ve been hurt enough. You already have your own scars… but, I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide yours.]

 

Legosi didn’t respond.

 

Louis awkwardly limped forward then, just to loop the scarf over Legosi’s neck. 

 

A scarf returned, at rest.

 

Louis didn’t wrap it around Legosi’s scars, he just let it lay there on his shoulders.

 

Louis asked hesitantly, [I know this is … really late, but … can we start over? Please? I want to do better. I know I can. I should have treated you better. You shouldn’t have to leave Cherryton because I was an asshole.]

 

Legosi’s emotions were frustratingly empty. He corrected Louis, [a major asshole.]

 

The red deer gave a self-deprecating smile. [Yeah. I was a major asshole.]

 

Legosi exhaled. [I just want to go to bed already.]

 

Louis asked, [Promise me I’ll see you in class tomorrow?]

 

Legosi wasn’t sure if he wanted to answer that.

 

Louis insisted, [Please?]

 

Legosi gave up, surrendered, [I promise.]

 

Only then did Louis hobble out of his way.

 

Legosi reached down to pick Louis’ hat up off the ground. He placed it back on the deer’s head, antlers and all. 

 

Then Legosi walked off into the night.

……

Legosi was able to get through the evening and the morning with his roommates, despite them actually coming to see the show. 

 

For once, Legosi was glad Jack was the only fluent roommate. 

 

No one besides Jack knew the language, or his body language, enough to be concerned. It was still far from the wolf’s usual sort of gloominess, but Jack also knew him well enough to not question the wolf around everyone else. He could give Legosi that kindness at least. 

 

Collot was actually impressed, Miguno was outright in awe, and Durham wanted Legosi to teach him how to fight like that.

 

All Legosi really had to sign was, [I’m really tired right now. I’d like to talk about it later.]

 

Jack opted to give him some room to breathe, for which the sleepy Legosi was quietly grateful. 

 

Scarf clad, scars hidden once more, Legosi was ready to drift through the day.

 

But in the cafeteria the next morning, Legosi was slowly munching a breakfast sandwich - when someone said something.

 

“Dude, you were awesome!”

 

The reptile went by so fast, Legosi didn’t realize he was the intended recipient at first. But then a mare passed by with her friends, recognized Legosi, and said, “Great performance last night! You were incredible!”

 

Legosi swallowed his bite of sandwich. He looked blankly at Jack for a moment, as if he heard them wrong. He signed [thank you] late but fast, and Jack relayed it for him, “He says thanks!”

 

The horse smiled and ran to catch up with her friends.

 

Collot started smirking. 

 

Voss had this soft, puppy-ish rumble.

 

A swoopy-haired lion stopped from walking by and shouted, “Wolf Demon! Your swordsmanship was crazy last night! How are you not with us on the fencing team?!”

 

Legosi’s tail started swaying, just a little. He signed, Jack interpreted, “He doesn’t really like competitive sports.”

 

The lion pushed his long hair back out of his eyes, “Yeah, probably cause he’d win!”

 

It was still going on like that when slouching Legosi slipped into his first class. He tried to be sneaky about it, but several people clapped. Legosi meekly signed his thanks - gave a slight nodding bow, to make it more obvious - and then slunk his way up to his usual seat.

 

Louis was already there, and … actually smiling at Legosi’s arrival.

 

Legosi rubbed his neck as he sat down. He asked, [You didn’t tell them to do that, did you?]

 

Louis smirked, [What, me? Orchestrate an elaborate show of appreciation by your student body peers? Never. …Okay, not never, I think I did that once the other year, but not now. It seems like people just really liked your performance. Didn’t you hear all the clapping after our scene?]

 

Legosi frowned. [I thought they were clapping for you.]

 

The red deer shrugged, [Maybe it was for all three of us. Either way, people want to say nice things to you right now. Is that really so unusual?]

 

Legosi signed flatly, [Yes.]

 

Louis’ smile was just a tad weaker.

 

Legosi saw the way other people were looking at them, and added soon enough, [I thought you didn’t like people seeing you sign in public. You’re doing it now.]

 

Louis gradually admitted, [I’d like to say I’m just practicing, but, I’m trying to do better - as a person. I said I’m sorry, about before. …You called me out on some things. And you should have. I didn’t realize, I was acting like people I hate. I don’t know how I let that happen. I suppose I got busy and stopped thinking about how I was behaving. Not that that’s an excuse. So, I’m going to work on it.]

 

The wolf felt an instinctive need to apologize, but thought better of it. He tried to express himself, [That sounds like a good goal. I guess.]

 

Something else was itching at the back of Louis’ throat, wanting to be asked. [Back on the stage, you said that you… feel like you only have a half life. …Did you mean that?]

 

Legosi signed simply, [Yes. Ever since I was five.]

 

The red deer looked more concerned. [If you’ll let me … can I ask what happened?]

 

The teacher started calling the class to order.

 

[Not now,] Legosi replied. [Maybe later.]

……

Legosi thought that was going to be it for their morning talk. Louis had always said he didn’t like distractions in class - and Legosi wasn’t sure if that was subject to change. 

 

So as their math teacher drew out a long equation on the board, Legosi was just taking notes, like he usually did.

 

The teacher asked aloud, “Does anyone actually know how to answer this one?”

 

Legosi kept writing, as if he knew what the teacher was going to say next.

 

“Anyone?” the teacher repeated the request. “Come on, guys, I know this is hard material, but you’ve gotta try. You can’t get better without working at it!”

 

Legosi continued scratching the stages of the problem into his notebook.

 

Louis raised his hand.

 

The teacher perked up, “Ah! Thank you, Louis! Can you explain -”

 

Louis cut in, “Oh, I can’t explain it, no. Legosi can.”

 

The wolf’s pencil stopped moving immediately. Legosi looked right at him.

 

The red deer was smirking.

 

Legosi signed small, [What are you doing?]

 

Louis signed back, [You know how to solve it. It’s right there.]

 

The wolf frowned, [They don’t want to hear it from me.]

 

[Well, they should,] Louis replied. [Tell me what to say. I’m supposed to be your interpreter. It’s about time I start doing my job.]

 

Someone in the room coughed, damaging the awkward silence.

 

Legosi swallowed hard.

 

Louis just sat there, looking at him - expectantly.

 

So … Legosi started explaining. Louis started talking. 

 

It took a minute - it was not an easy problem to handle by any means, more letters than numbers - a curse upon whoever decided math should include the alphabet. They had to balance the equation first, break down some sections, build back up others. But the teacher was looking more engaged the more Legosi went on, analyzing each aspect of the issue until the numbers actually came out. 

 

“Ha!” The teacher was pleased to be excited. “Yes! Excellent work, Louis!”

 

“Legosi,” the red deer loudly corrected, pointing at the wolf.

 

The teacher was still amused, “Legosi, yes. Yes! I certainly hope you all were writing that down, because it’s going to be on the test!”

 

Several more approving gazes were leveled at the wolf. A lot of people were hastily adding it to their notes.

 

Louis was looking happy.

 

Self-conscious, Legosi still thought he should say, [Thank you.]

 

There was some spark in Louis’ eye again as he signed back, [No problem.]

Notes:

Happy New Year!

It's a new year for Legosi, too.

As always, comments are appreciated, and I look forward to writing more in the year to come! :)

Chapter 10: A rabbit for dinner

Summary:

For better or worse, Legosi's new world is a lot more social.

Things had been … getting better.

 

‘Better’ is an amorphous concept, hard for Legosi to define, but it was just a whole lot of little things building up together.

 

Louis didn’t actually seem to have solid concepts of what being ‘helpful’ and ‘considerate’ actually were. Louis was trying, maybe not always succeeding, but Legosi appreciated the effort. 

 

The two of them talked more in classes, and that shifted into them talking about a lot of things, too. Legosi liked that, being able to really ‘talk’ with someone besides Jack. Dom was doing his best, trying to learn, but it was a complicated language. You can’t do in months what takes years.

 

After all, some forms of sign can be quite different from the local spoken language. They aren’t explicitly equivalent. The little pieces of inflection are their own form of grammar, a different word order becomes syntax. Legosi was caught between the hearing and Deaf communities that way, and it was its own struggle trying to navigate them.

 

Legosi was still trying to make it easier for Dom, using short, simple sentences, but that was … unfulfilling.

 

It was nice, being able to have real conversations with Louis.

 

Legosi had an odd feeling that Louis was also paying more attention to him in general, glancing at him during club hours - shouting over a word when Dom didn’t know one or got a phrase wrong.

 

So that was helpful, but … awkward.

 

Frustrated Louis yelled loud enough for everyone to hear, “It’s egg salad! He’s signing egg salad! It’s his favorite! He keeps eating it between classes!”

 

Legosi hid behind his big hands.

 

The wolf was marginally less stressed with Adler finished, but the club already had a new show in the works. It was an easier play, less intense, more romance - something small to tide them over before some festival - but the drama club always seemed to give everything 200%. Even without Louis pushing them as hard, the club had an atmosphere that demanded excellence.

 

Legosi … wasn’t quite sure he could keep up with their energy. The lighting for this play was simple, mattered less. He helped with some costumes, the way Dom and the others taught him for Adler . It didn’t seem like the preparations were as taxing, but Legosi still felt really anxious about being as perfect as everyone else. 

 

The school newspaper even came out with a big article about the last show, about ‘the Wolf Demon’ and his explosive debut onto the stage. His use of sign was called “fresh and exotic,” and his “athleticism” was praised. Legosi had hoped it would all be pleasantly forgotten, swept under a rug. The article just seemed to stir up even more attention, more demand for him to be on stage again.

 

Transitioning from ‘dumb psycho’ to ‘Wolf Demon’ was not the change he had wanted to make.

 

It especially did not help that Bill and Tao kept wanting Legosi to ‘show them a few moves.’ The two cats loved their stunt fights, but they didn’t seem to get how fighting them was very much the last thing Legosi wanted to do. 

 

The school fencing team had the same problem. For a few weeks, they were practically hunting him, joining (chasing) him sometimes when he went for a run. His nerves were most displeased. Two of the team didn’t know how to take ‘no’ for an answer. 

 

Once, Louis was passing by and yelled at them to back off, and - it worked, but - ugh, that was embarrassing.

 

Sometimes, the swoopy-haired lion still begged at lunch, “Please! Pretty please, Demon? You’d be so great for the team, we could compete at a higher level! What about with cherries on top?”

 

Legosi shook his head.

 

A perky fox then slapped down a case of desserts, “Boom! Cupcakes, with actual cherries on top! Only the best for Wolf Demon!”

 

Okay, Legosi had one cupcake, but he still turned them down.

 

At least people seemed to care less about his lack of voice, in club and out. A lot of students were more engaging and respectful, after watching him smash a tiger into the floor - even if everyone did think it was ‘just an act.’

 

Again. It wasn’t the change he wanted to make.

 

But the scent in the air was changing, too, as mid-spring got closer to summer. Legosi found himself unconsciously sniffing at a window every so often. There was something about the scent of spring and summer that he just liked so much. Maybe it had to do with the richness of the earth or something… Maybe the plants?

 

Before class could start, Legosi waved his hand to get Louis’ attention.

 

Louis signed, [You need something?]

 

Legosi shook his head, [No, but I keep hearing people mention some festival. Do you know what they’re talking about?]

 

The red deer looked amused, [Right. You weren’t here last year. It’s the Meteor Festival. It’s still a few months out, but everyone gets really excited for it. We’ll talk about it more in a week, after we finish this show. Cherryton got asked to help with the festival for a second time.]

 

Louis gave him a quick description of the event, how the town prepares, the performances provided. He talked a bit about the dinosaurs and how the event transitioned from one of religion to secular celebration. He even mentioned the lighting ceremony at the end, and how couples would leave a candle at the meteor itself.

 

Legosi sort of wondered aloud, [Will you be putting a candle up with anyone?]

 

The red deer gave a little scoff. [No, not for me. My father arranged for me to marry someone after I graduate.]

 

The wolf’s head tilted an inch. [People still do that? Have arranged marriages?]

 

Louis laughed, [Well, they certainly do in my father’s business. That’s what it really is: a business deal.]

 

Legosi stared at him for a moment.

 

Louis signed, [What? What are you looking at?]

 

[Nothing,] Legosi replied. [It just seems like you’ve … given up about that - having an arranged marriage.]

 

The red deer pretended to be a bit annoyed, [We don’t all get what we want. Not even me.]

…… 

When the day came to talk about the festival, Kai certainly seemed to have strong feelings about the whole thing. The production crew spent several hours at the club storehouse, just trying to take stock, to figure out how they could manage everything.

 

Legosi didn’t have a clue what he’d be doing for it yet, but he still tried to help out Dom any way he could. Dom could use an extra pair of hands. Or seven pairs. Legosi’s big mitts would do in a pinch.

 

Eventually, group consensus agreed: they should split up, get dinner and figure out the rest of their plans tomorrow.

 

Kai was still complaining loudly on their way to the cafeteria, “I mean it! It’s just a stupid event for - normies ! Normal people, not us! We get all the hard stuff! The actors will all be enjoying the festival with their boyfriends and girlfriends!”

 

Moro the rhino agreed, “Same with the dance team, too!”

 

Dom tried to put a positive spin on it, “Oh, they can have their fun, and we’ll have ours! There’s an artistry to what we do! Besides, everyone’s counting on us, guys! We’re the production crew and we always deliver.”

 

Kai was spiteful and grumpy, “They could deliver more, too! The reason they want us to do all this is, it’s probably because none of us are in relationships!”

 

Fudge the red panda was ready to jump on the bandwagon. “Yeah, they don’t appreciate all the work this takes. Plus - Legosi?”

 

Dom turned back towards the wolf, who was looking very concerned about something. “Legosi, what’s - Whoa! Hey, come back!”

 

The wolf had barely signed something before he was off like a gray blur into a nearby school building, leaving them all behind.

 

Moro grunted, “What was that? What’d he say?”

 

Dom scratched his head feathers. “I think he signed ‘broken,’ but I’m not sure. It was really fast.”

 

Kai grumbled louder, “Well whatever it is, the Demon can handle it himself! I’m hungry!” 

 

Dom was more concerned. He waved them off, “Aw, you guys can head to dinner. I still wanna make sure he’s alright.”

……

It was the breaking of a vase that Legosi heard - but it wasn’t just that: there was yelling, too. It was barely at the register of his sharp ears, but it was angry, and violent.

 

He would have gladly avoided that entirely, if it wasn’t for something else he was hearing.

 

He heard - her - yelling, too.

 

His body took off like he was on autopilot again.

 

Legosi ran over, through the building’s open door, down one hall, up a flight of stairs, and that’s how he came up right behind a drenched, disheveled Haru. 

 

The small rabbit was even then yelling down a trio of what Legosi could only assume were several (Haru-sized) bullies.

 

Haru exclaimed, loud as could be, “But go ahead! Keep playing your stupid games! I’ll be watching from the sidelines - enjoying the show! I’ll still be here when the two of you drag each other down into extinction, thanks to your stupid, petty grudges! I’ll be the one to have the last laugh! Me! In fact, I’ll even hold a memorial service for you, along with all those other extinct dinosaurs, at the Meteor Festival!”

 

Legosi felt a coy sort of smile stretching at his lips. He walked a bit closer, footsteps silent so as to not disturb her tirade. He kept listening and watching with some strange, joyful admiration. 

 

She’s so fearless.

 

He would have clapped, but Haru was going full steam ahead: “It’s about time you guys stopped bullying me! Go take out your aggressions on some other girl rabbit, because me? I’ve got nothing to lose anymore! I’m free! Nothing can hold me back, not even shit stains like you!!”

 

…She’s so cool… 

 

The trio glanced at Legosi a moment.

 

Legosi, still smirking, gave them a quiet wave of his huge clawed fingers.

 

And then they ran off. Screaming.

 

…Um. Oops?…  

 

Haru murmured happily to herself, “Hrrm. Was I too harsh? I don’t want them thinking I’m a doormat…”

 

One of them shouted back, “We’re not getting devoured by the Wolf Demon! ”

 

Frowning, Haru looked around, repeating, “Wolf Demon?”

 

As she faced him, Legosi had an embarrassed smile on his face. He held out his handkerchief for her.

 

Haru laughed fearlessly, “Oh, it’s you! …Lugosi or something, right?”

 

Legosi just gave a little shrug and held out his handkerchief again.

 

Haru tried to squeeze the water off her ears, but she was probably going to need something bigger than a handkerchief to mop it all up. 

 

She sort of teased, “Still a man of many words, I see. I hate for you to see me like this, I don’t like being pitied by guys I’ve slept with.”

 

Legosi looked mildly scandalized and shook his head as rapidly as possible, but she was shifting her attention to the plants. 

 

Haru sighed as she tried to inspect the damaged contents of that broken vase. “Aww … the flowers are all ruined… They got caught in the line of fire. You died before your time, flowers. I’m sorry.”

 

Legosi still walked around and tried to help. He picked up one of the less crushed flowers, offering it to her and looking at her with simple canine curiosity. His tail swayed slowly.

 

Haru scoffed, “Nice try, but -”

 

From another direction, a confused Dom finally found him. 

 

The peafowl cried out, “Oh! Legosi! There you are! You worried me for a minute. Also, wow, you’re a real fast sprinter.”

 

Haru looked over at the peafowl, then at Legosi.

 

Legosi automatically started signing [sorry], then tried to explain, [I heard the vase break and then there was a lot of yelling. I don’t know why, I got worried, I just started running. But the bullies are all gone now, she scared them off.]

 

Dom was staring intently, trying to catch the message.

 

Dom tried to repeat one motion, “Wait, Legosi, what’s this sign?”

 

Legosi had to fingerspell ‘bullies’ extra slowly for him, then went on, [But she already handled them, and they left her alone. I think she’s fine, but the flowers look dead though.]

 

Dom squinted. “…Sorry, Legosi, I’m only getting half of this. Can you type it?”

 

Haru looked at Dom again.

 

Haru looked at Legosi again. 

 

Then, all at once, the terrible truth hit her like a speeding truck. 

 

Haru yelled, “YOU CAN’T TALK?! WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME YOU CAN’T TALK?! YOU HAD PLENTY OF OPPORTUNITY TO WRITE IT, YOU WERE HELPING ME WITH THE GARDEN FOR HOURS!!”

 

Legosi looked up awkwardly from his smart phone, glancing at Dom then at her. He stopped typing one message, then started writing one for her instead.

 

Some awareness crossed Dom’s face, “Oh, are you with the gardening club? I didn’t realize Legosi was actually there that long, since he suggested we get the flowers elsewhere…”

 

The wolf held his phone up to her so she and Dom could read, {I just didn’t want to bother you with it.}

 

Haru slapped her tiny rabbit hand to her tiny rabbit forehead.

 

Dom, smirking, explained that, “In Legosi’s defense … that is a very Legosi thing to do. He’s always trying to help people. Uh, are you supposed to be all wet?”

 

Haru looked down at her clothes again, and was feeling a bit more irritated. “No, I’m not supposed to be wet! It was these jerks I know. Legosi offered his handkerchief, but I’m going to need more than that. I’ll use some bathroom paper towels or something.”

 

Legosi scratched at his neck, just a little, before it occurred to him he did have something ‘more.’ The wolf started unwrapping the scarf from his neck.

 

Dom winced at the sight of the old scars, “Sheesh, that still looks terrible, Legosi.”

 

The wolf tried to cover his throat with one hand, but he leaned down a bit to offer his scarf to Haru instead. 

 

The rabbit crossed her arms, looking up at him while annoyed. “Seriously, Legosi?” She glanced back at Dom, “Is he always like this?”

 

Dom smirked, “Yeah, usually. Well, if you guys are okay, I’m gonna go get my dinner.”

 

Legosi stopped covering his neck long enough to sign ‘goodbye.’ Dom started walking his way in the direction of the cafeteria.

 

Haru got a good look at Legosi’s throat, and then harrumphed. “Fine, I’ll use the scarf, but I’m treating you somehow and I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer!”

 

Legosi shrugged and smiled. Haru snatched the scarf from him, and wrapped it around herself like a cloak. 

 

Legosi thought she looked particularly royal like that, a tiny queen, and he just nodded his agreement.

 

Haru murmured again as she thought, then said, “Well, actually, all that yelling made me hungry so … dinner doesn’t sound like a bad idea. How about it, Lugosi? … Wait, was it Lugosi or Legosi?”

 

Legosi automatically held up the ‘e’ in finger spelling, but - suddenly aware she might not know that kind of alphabet - he wrote an ‘e’ in the air instead.

 

The rabbit smirked. “Well then: Legosi? Dinner?”

 

The wolf smiled and nodded several times.

 

His tail wagged a little on the walk over, and she rambled every so often to fill the silence.

 

Haru used the scarf like a towel, to rub against her fur and clothes as they went along. By the time they got to the cafeteria, her clothes and his scarf were both simply damp.

 

But she stopped before going in and frowned. “Oh. I remember now… We didn’t do anything, because …” The rabbit regarded the scarf again, then offered it back to him, saying, “I imagine you don’t actually like people looking at those scars.”

 

Legosi sheepishly nodded, and was willing to take the scarf back then. There were, after all, a lot more people in the cafeteria than on their little walk. He once more wrapped it around his neck, not really caring it was a little moist.

 

They separated briefly to get dinner from their respective lines, from the separate meal plans for carnivores and herbivores. Legosi thought that was going to be it, but no: she marched herself right over to where he and the other big carnivores sat.

 

There was a moment of awkwardness, as Haru looked at the height disparity of these seats and her normal pick. 

 

Legosi barely even thought about it, he just flopped his backpack down on a seat across from him.

 

Haru was giving that smirk again, “Legosi, do you have to be that helpful?”

 

The wolf - looking just a little playful about it - chose to nod a few more times.

 

Haru slid her tray up onto the table, then climbed her way onto Legosi’s backpack like it was a child’s booster seat. 

 

Legosi might have looked too pleased with himself.

 

Haru put her hand out and ordered, “Well, come on, give me your phone.”

 

The wolf’s head tilted an inch. She was clearly getting out her own phone, so why would she need his?

 

Haru harrumphed, “Well, don’t stop being helpful now! Give me your phone!”

 

Legosi got out his huge phone, which seemed comically large in front of her. The rabbit was quickly transferring over a contact on each phone, and then she pushed Legosi’s phone back to him. “There! Now, Mr. Wolf, you are going to text me!”

 

The wolf started to munch on his own food, but he tapped away a short message. {What exactly do you want me to text?}

 

Haru was two spoonfuls of her soup in when the text went over the school wifi. She looked up at Legosi, “Well, I certainly can’t learn sign language in a day, but you have expressive ears and sharp eyes. Something tells me that head of yours can do better than ‘yes,’ ‘no,’ and ‘maybe’.”

 

Legosi checked his ears with both hands. He continued eating as he texted her, {Yeah, but typing takes more time than talking. Having an interpreter helps. Without one, trying to communicate is slow. Most people get annoyed at having to wait for me.}

 

Haru looked a bit more serious after reading that. “Yeah, I can see how that would happen. So it’s probably like … you have to dumb yourself down to even be understood?”

 

Legosi gave a small grimace.

 

The rabbit looked concerned. “Sorry. Was that the wrong thing to say?”

 

Legosi gave an uncomfortable shrug. He started tapping away, {No. Sorry. I’m just sensitive to that word: dumb. People used to use it all the time for someone who can’t speak like me. Some people still do.}

 

Haru shook her spoon at him, “Hey! Don’t you apologize! I’m the one who said the thing. It doesn’t matter if I didn’t mean it in a bad way. And there’s nothing wrong with being sensitive! The world could use more nice, sensitive guys like you.”

 

Legosi gave a weak smile. He texted back, with a bit of embarrassment, {I think that’s the first time someone has ever said they want more of me.}

 

Haru pouted, “Whaaat? Oh, we are absolutely changing that then! You’re a great guy, Legosi. I can tell. You helped me with my garden for hours! What did you even get out of that? What do you do with the drama club?”

 

Legosi held up a finger as he chewed a bigger bite of his food, and chewed on that thought, too. 

 

Legosi started texting, {Officially, I’m part of the production crew. I’m supposed to help with costumes, stage stuff. Running spotlights is fun. Unofficially, I just do, anything really. Whatever needs doing. Sometimes that’s helping move stuff around, other times it’s fixing old electrical equipment.}

 

Haru leaned in, “Wait, fixing tech? How do you know how to fix tech stuff?”

 

The wolf sort of shrugged, explained, {Not all tech stuff. Electrical. Grandpa has done construction stuff for ages. He picked up a lot of things, taught me. Mom and Grandpa homeschooled me since I was five, so my knowledge is a bit all over the place. I definitely like working with my hands. And I love bugs.}

 

The rabbit nodded along as she read that message. Then she giggled at the end, “You love bugs ?”

 

Legosi nodded more excitedly. He opened his hands like he was opening a book, then pointed underneath her.

 

Haru guessed, “Got an insect book in your backpack? Your favorite or something?”

 

Legosi nodded happily, then started typing. {I just like insects. They’re different. Exotic? Maybe it’s cause I’m different. You had a lot of bugs around the garden. That was cool. But, I also think it’s because you were talking to me. I liked that. I know that probably sounds weird, but … I think I just liked being included?}

 

The wolf was a little more hesitant about giving her that message, glancing at her as she had her meal. She seemed to be watching him expectantly. He chose to tap ‘send’ eventually. 

 

He immediately wanted to take it back and started typing faster, {I hope that doesn’t bother you. I don’t know how to explain it. Sorry. You can ignore that.}

 

Legosi spent a very anxious half minute, and glanced at the cafeteria exit.

 

The rabbit gave a tiny scoff as she caught up with the end, “Nah, no way! I totally get it. Maybe you hadn’t noticed, but it’s not like I have friends lining up to eat with us. These days, most herbivores are like, uh, that anteater from your club! They see me, they get to running. I sorta got in the habit of talking to my plants. That’s always a one-sided conversation. It’s supposed to be good for them, but, it’s good for me, too. Makes me feel less lonely.”

 

Legosi’s ears drooped an inch. {Do you feel lonely a lot?}

 

Haru gave another fearless bite of her dinner. “Not right now.”

 

Legosi felt a slight wind from his wagging tail.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated. :)

Chapter 11: As fearless as a rabbit

Summary:

The devouring in the city is all over the news.

So begins a very bad week for Legosi.

Louis debated with himself about asking a certain question. He was aware of the risk, the inherent danger of the question - if Legosi took it as insulting? Louis had been insulting before, and … yeah, he technically meant stuff back then. He didn’t want to do that, be that person again.

 

Louis could also come up with at least a dozen different ways the conversation could play out, but he was running out of time.

 

Maybe I’m overthinking it. …I think I have to just ask it and apologize… 

 

The red deer waited impatiently for class to end, mentally preparing himself for the moment before actually turning to Legosi. He tried to sign, respectfully, [I don’t know how to proceed on something as your interpreter. I’d appreciate it if you gave me your thoughts.]

 

Legosi stopped picking up his bag as another student passed by to leave. The wolf just blinked a bit. [Okay? Is something wrong?]

 

[No,] Louis signed fast, then corrected himself. [Yes, a little. You heard about the attack on the news, right? The devouring by a group of canids?]

 

Legosi allowed himself a frown and nodded, gestured for him to continue.

 

The red deer’s jaw tensed. [A few days from now, there’s a meeting about the Meteor Festival. You might have heard about it already from Dom. It’s at a government office in the city. A number of us were originally supposed to attend, including you and I. However, with the recent attack, the school doesn’t want any herbivores to go off campus. Dom can’t go either. You can still go if you want, but you don’t have to, if you don’t want to. …I wasn’t sure if you’d actually want to go or not, since the others … can’t really sign with you. I thought I should ask you how you feel about it - if you still want to go?]

 

Legosi was clearly thinking, but he didn’t look insulted. That was a solid first step.

 

The wolf eventually decided, [I can still attend. I can listen and take notes. I’ll just let the others talk for me. If it really matters, I can just write to one of them. Aoba and Tao don’t seem to mind reading for me.]

 

Louis allowed himself some measure of relief. [Good. That’s good. …I just thought I should tell you ahead of time. I didn’t want to put you on the spot this afternoon at the club, when we’ll be bringing it up. I didn’t want to embarrass you, or make the decision for you.]

 

Legosi had some kind of suspicious look to his face.

 

Louis leaned back. [What? What’s wrong?]

 

[Nothing,] the wolf signed. [That was just nice of you. I appreciate you thinking of me.]

 

Louis tried to smile. [I’m just trying to do better.]

 

Legosi smiled for real. [It’s working.]

……

Legosi felt like Louis wasn’t saying something, but he didn’t know what. A lie by omission? Maybe something like that.

 

It was a strange feeling to be left with, even later that day. 

 

Legosi was on his own by the time he was headed to the drama club. He took a slower, more roundabout way - to enjoy the spring atmosphere. The walk would have been as uneventful as always, were it not for the commotion he heard going on.

 

Like the time with Haru, he heard the yelling before he saw what was happening. 

 

His insides twisted. 

 

His ears perked straight up in alarm, and his legs started cautiously moving on their own. He padded around a corner, right into the two guys who were trying to manhandle a female carnivore - a wolf?

 

One was still mocking her, “You’re just trying to fool herbivores, get them to think you’re harmless! Canids are all like that! But that’s not gonna work on us!”

 

Legosi swallowed hard.

 

They were shorter than tall Legosi, but only by a little - clearly old enough and strong enough to be assholes when the opportunity presented itself. One looked badger-like; the other, some kind of vulture. Stocky. Sharp fanged and sharp beaked respectively.

 

But wait, they’re carnivores, too, aren’t they? Aggh! Why do they care about -

 

Wait, what do I do?! I’m here now, but what am I supposed to do??

 

Legosi instinctively clapped his hands together as loud as possible, to get their attention.

 

The pair of attackers flinched, each of them, and they looked at Legosi instead. The girl took the chance to pull away and got free, but fell back onto the floor.

 

The badger snarled, “What the fuck is your problem?!”

 

Legosi felt an uncomfortable shiver. He looked down fast, at the other person’s shoes.

 

Shit! Just - shit! What was I thinking?! I wasn’t! 

 

Legosi let his mouth hang open. Genius that he was, it wasn’t like he could talk his way out of this.

 

He glanced aside, at the girl on the ground, her eyes wet and scared.

 

Legosi grit his teeth instead. 

 

Okay, be brave. Be brave, Haru’s brave, be like Haru, yeah. She stood up to three, this is just two. 

 

Legosi took a deep breath into his chest. He made a point to not slouch, to stand up straighter and tall.

 

The vulture threatened, “This doesn’t concern you! Just get the fuck out of here, before we make it concern you, the both of you!”

 

Legosi’s ears drooped. He collapsed back down, submissively.

 

…I CAN’T YELL LIKE HARU! HARU YELLED! SHIT! I CAN’T! I’VE GOT -

 

The vulture shoved Legosi back, swearing, “Just fuck off, asshat!”

 

The wolf stumbled a moment, weak and awkward. Then the emboldened badger charged at Legosi, with claws bared and fangs snarling.

 

The scent of drool lit up the air.

 

Things slowed down.

 

No. 

 

NO!

 

With practiced ease, Legosi shot a straight jab forward, to the badger’s throat.

 

The badger staggered back, gagging. 

 

Don’t hold back, never hold back!

 

Legosi was back on autopilot, he was back on a stage, he was back in an alley, he was back in Gosha’s training room.

 

The vulture jumped in to throw a punch. Legosi leaned around it. 

 

Legosi caught the vulture’s arm and attacked back in the same motion, smacking his knuckles into the vulture’s throat, too. 

 

One quick sweep of the wolf’s foot, and the vulture was all ready - Legosi put his whole body behind the effort, as he slammed the vulture straight down into the floor.

 

The badger got back his breath to fight again, swinging both clawed hands at quick-moving Legosi. 

 

A single slice opened up on the wolf’s shirt. 

 

Legosi was off-balance trying to dodge, fell on his back trying to get out of the badger’s reach.

 

Off the floor, off of it!

 

Immediately Legosi rolled and flipped himself farther back, all the way over, to land on all fours. Legosi sprinted from that position, arms crossed to slam into the badger’s stomach. 

 

Legosi felt the badger’s claw tips on his back, but they weren’t fast enough to dig in.

 

Legosi drove the badger all the way back into the wall, smashing the air out of his lungs.

 

Legosi darted back a quick step, defensively - but this was just a bully, not a fighter. He wasn’t as fast as Gosha, or even Bill. 

 

Legosi started unloading with everything. He punched, bashed, crashed his huge fists into the badger’s chest, stomach, face - any part of him attached to those fangs, until a final right hook sent the badger all the way down to the floor.

 

A sudden tightening happened to Legosi’s throat. 

 

Legosi thought it was in his head, in his past, in the memories that refused to stay behind - but no, this time it really was his scarf.

 

From behind him, the vulture had the ends of Legosi’s scarf in his hands, coiled and twisted, and was even then trying to choke Legosi with it.

 

Legosi tried yanking the fabric down, clawing it away from his throat, so he could catch his breath -

 

And then the other wolf swung her backpack as hard as possible across the back of the vulture’s head. The second attacker went down.

 

The enemies were down, Legosi’s panic wasn’t. 

 

Legosi continued fighting and struggling with his scarf, desperate to breathe - thinking he still couldn’t - and his claws began promptly shredding it off his throat as the other wolf was saying - something?

 

“It’s okay! You’re okay now! Just breathe! ”

 

Legosi wasn’t breathing right at all. His lungs kept snagging on some demon in his chest. He had to try hard just to keep from jumping out of his skin, to drag air in, to even settle his spirit back into his flesh. His left hand held close to the base of his neck.

 

But then the growling badger started getting up, blood dripping from his face, aching and angry and vengeful. 

 

No no no no

 

His internal voice cut off entirely. His heart was beating ridiculously fast. Legosi held his breath again, moved himself and his fellow wolf further away.

 

The badger looked up, and saw the old massive scars across Legosi’s newly bared throat. His dark eyes recognized them from the play, and the badger garbled out, “ THE WOLF DEMON?! FUCKING SHITE!! ”

 

The badger grabbed his lighter vulture buddy off the ground, and fled as fast as his legs could carry them.

 

They were gone and around a corner, before the tension released from Legosi’s body all at once. 

 

Legosi’s knees buckled - dropping him gracelessly to the floor. His back rested against the wall. His huge hands were shaking violently, he tried to hold them tight. Holding his breath reversed into clumsy attempts at inhaling.

 

The girl was looking at him, not afraid of him, but afraid for him - concerned at the suddenness of the change.

 

She got in front of him, gray wolf to gray wolf, and she grabbed his hands in hers. She promised him, “You’re okay! You’re okay now! You can stop! Slow down your breathing! Just breathe!”

 

His chest ached so, all over - like he had someone standing on his ribs. The pair had barely hurt him, why did it feel like something was broken all of a sudden?

 

Legosi’s hands shuddered in her grip. Did she see the haunting in his eyes? The old terror? He was afraid to know. He felt like a little kid again, being coached by his mom on how to get through another panic attack. 

 

That wasn’t a stunt fight with fake swords - that was real, and dangerous, and how did he let it get that far?

 

He tried to scrunch his eyes shut and forget the world.

 

He still saw Bill in the darkness of his eyelids. Legosi looked back to her, pleading silently.

 

Her eyes strengthened his. She held onto his hands all the stronger, “Deep breaths, good deep breaths! Nice and slow! Blow out, and breathe in - just breathe! It’s okay! You stopped them!”

 

He wanted to throw up. 

 

Why did I do that?! Why did I fucking do that again - I lost control, again?! Aggh!!

 

He felt a burn in the back of his throat.

……

“Panic attack,” the wolf girl stated to a passing owl student. 

 

The owl seemed to be appraising the pair of them, two grey wolves sitting on the floor in the hallway. Legosi was trying to hide his eyes underneath his folded hands, didn’t want to see the passersby - then he’d be even more embarrassed about it.

 

Their footsteps drifted away.

 

Legosi hesitantly looked at the other wolf again. She had settled a lot faster than Legosi. She was all calm and collected.

 

He wished he felt that way. Legosi started signing [I’m sorry] weakly, like an old habit he couldn’t break.

 

She asked, “You can’t talk, can you?”

 

Legosi shook his head.

 

“I’m Juno,” she offered. “You’re Legosi, right? Sheila told me about you.”

 

He managed a small hint of confusion on his tired face.

 

Juno said simply, “I’m in the drama club, too. Sort of. I was only just recruited, in the actor’s pool, so I imagine you wouldn’t have heard of me yet. We haven’t been in the same room.”

 

Legosi gave a small nod of understanding.

 

Then she went on, “But I did see you in the welcome production, when you taught that tiger a lesson, too! That was an incredible performance! I guess you know how to fight for real, too.”

 

Legosi’s face made it perfectly clear he was unhappy with that.

 

At least smacking Bill around has some perks. It got them to run away…  

 

Juno backpedaled and tried to be encouraging in a different way, “Sheila said you couldn’t speak, but that you were really helpful and, and generous. Els, too. She said you’re nice and everything. I’m glad they were right.”

 

The wolf gave a shameful shake of his head, and looked at the ground. He held up his beaten knuckles, as if that was all the evidence he needed to show her she was wrong.

 

Juno tried to wear a big smile, “Well, you just jumped in to help a complete stranger from getting attacked, at great risk to yourself. I certainly think that qualifies.”

 

Legosi gave a very meager shrug.

 

Juno wondered, “Do you … need something to write with? I have my phone with me.”

 

Legosi shook his head, and slowly got out his own phone. He typed carefully and showed her, {I’m sorry. I should have handled that better.}

 

She had barely read it before she was saying back, “You handled yourself just fine! You stopped the both of them, practically all by yourself. It was rather impressive, really.”

 

Legosi frowned harder. 

 

Juno gathered, “Or, did you mean the panic attack?”

 

Legosi just nodded.

 

Juno gently held him by the wrists again, “A person doesn’t choose to have a panic attack. It just happens. And if you hadn’t arrived to help, I’d probably be having one right now myself. Or worse. Those jerks were serious. You showed up, you knocked them around, you got them to leave. I bet they won’t want to tango with the Wolf Demon again!”

 

Legosi made a weird, self-conscious wheeze. He typed out for her, {If it’s all the same to you, I hope that’s the last time someone ever calls me Wolf Demon.}

 

“Oops,” Juno pretended to be zipping her mouth shut. “Say no more. I won’t mention it again. But is there something else I can do for you? Do you need a drink? Do you take medicine or anything?”

 

Legosi thought for a moment, looked at her funny. Then he shook his head. {I think I just need to go somewhere quiet. Let myself calm down.}

 

Juno nodded understandingly, “I should get going, too, but, can I see your phone? I’ll put my number in it. Those jerks probably won’t say anything, but if they try to get you in trouble, you call me! I’ll set everybody straight!”

 

Legosi gave a meek, appreciative nod. As soon as she was done, he made sure to type out, {Thank you for helping me, too.}

 

Juno smiled brightly, “Us gray wolves have to stick together!”

 

She offered a hand to help Legosi stand up. Then she walked away, with a fresh bounce in her step.

 

Legosi wished he had some of that mood.

 

He looked down at his phone. 

 

He was supposed to be going to the drama club, but right now? That wasn’t where he wanted to go at all. He still felt too close to the edge, too anxious about all the expectations that went into their theater - the drive for perfection, when he was feeling so very messed up and imperfect in that moment. And he really didn’t want to see Bill today. 

 

He made a decision, and sent two quick texts. 

 

One he sent to Dom, {Sorry. I’m suddenly feeling really sick. I can’t make it to club. I hope you can forgive me.}

 

It wasn’t entirely a lie. Something was definitely wrong with his insides.

 

Then he sent another text to Haru. {Something really upsetting just happened. Can I hang out in your garden? Or help you out with something there? I think it would help me feel better.}

 

He started walking towards the garden club even before he got a response.

 

Dom replied, {Oh no! I hope you feel better soon. Don’t worry, Legosi. We can take care of things. I’ll text you what you’ve missed.}

 

A few more steps and Haru replied, too. {Aww! I’m sorry to hear that! Sure, you can come over, it’s no problem! Is it something you want to talk about? Or, I guess, you said you like working with your hands, right? I got some things planned, if you just want to keep your hands busy.}

 

Legosi wondered about that. He didn’t know if he had an answer for her yet.

 

His legs just kept him walking.

……

If nothing else, Legosi found out he really did like the smell of earth and plants. Flowers, too. The garden’s many scents were nice, and relaxing. 

 

Everything smelled … alive … 

 

Legosi was on his knees bent over a big, empty flower bed. The wolf’s big clawed hands kneaded through the soil and dirt with ease. 

 

Haru sounded as blissfully amused as ever, “Yeah, just like that! That’s great, Legosi!”

 

The wolf looked up to her, even gave her a soft smile back. He signed [thanks], then went back to working through more of the soil.

 

There was something fulfilling about the simplicity of it, and he liked the way Haru was so encouraging. His mood had shifted, slowly but surely, as they attended the garden together. 

 

Maybe it was a canid thing? Legosi thought he remembered reading about digging behaviors in other canid species, but Jack always tried to act mature. Neither Gosha or Leano had ever really shown an inclination to it themselves… Maybe his dad would have, if Legosi ever had him in his life.

 

A ladybug caught his attention as it flew past his face.

 

After working so long alone, Haru had gotten rather good at planning things out - chunking the time she’d need to get each task done. She had a whole schedule set for a month, exactly what she would do on each day and when. But Legosi was so much bigger and stronger, he could cut off a few hours with ease. The digging was only one part. Haru gave him the direction, and he followed through.

 

Haru started setting new seeds into the freshly-worked soil, moving along beside him. “Some of our little children are really sensitive to how soft or thick the soil is. You’re really amazing at all this digging, Legosi. My little hands couldn’t do it half as well! I need a big shovel, you know?”

 

Legosi gave her another small smile. He stretched his big dirty fingers a moment, regarding them in a different way.

 

I guess they are good at digging… 

 

She’d given him an hour without questions, without asking or probing him about his day at all. He didn’t seem to want to talk about it - and she was used to other people like that, who didn’t talk about their personal lives. She was trying to give him space. She didn’t even bring up his bare neck, his complete lack of a scarf - it was rags in a garbage can already, not that he told her that.

 

But it was getting later in the day, and despite his silence, the cuts in Legosi’s shirt kind of made the violence easy to read.

 

Someone almost hurt him. Bad.

 

(Again.)

 

Haru wanted to at least offer him something.

 

The rabbit stated easily, “You know … I have a sewing kit in the club room over there.”

 

Legosi gave her a small, inquisitive frown. 

 

She looked down at his shirt and clarified, “You mentioned doing some stuff with costumes for the drama club, so I imagine you know how to do some sewing. But you’re helping me so much - really saving me a lot of time and energy with all this digging - I could try to patch up your shirt myself. Since I’m smaller, I’m pretty sure I have nimbler fingers than you do. It won’t take me as long.”

 

The wolf stared down at his shirt, tugging it out to get a better look. It had the one big cut in the front, when one of the badger’s claws got dangerously close.

 

Legosi’s ears were drooping again.

 

Haru nudged him with an elbow. “Aww, don’t make that face. It’s just a shirt. Patching that won’t be too hard, I promise. Though you got a few cuts on the back, too…”

 

Legosi tried glancing back over his shoulder, trying to see what she meant. 

 

Haru moved in, hands reaching for the front of his shirt. “Don’t you worry, Legosi. I can take care of it all. Put your arms up.”

 

Legosi looked at her with confused eyes. 

 

The last time she tried to get his clothes off… 

 

“Oh, come on,~” she insisted playfully. “You’re a guy , Legosi. A good-looking guy. You don’t need to be modest. We’re not gonna do anything, I just wanna patch up your shirt for you. Arms up!”

 

Legosi bashfully lifted his arms above his head, and with surprising ease, Haru dragged his shirt up and off. The wolf had a small tank-top on underneath, but it was older, fit tighter. The badger’s claw had just nicked it.

 

Modest Legosi swallowed hard.

 

Haru warmly grinned, “You’re way too self-conscious, Legosi. But not to worry! I’ll help you build up that self-confidence somehow. You keep having fun with the dirt and the seeds, I’ll go stitch this up. One less thing for you to worry about, okay? Then afterwards, let’s get dinner!”

 

Legosi signed [OK] very small, as Haru waltzed over to the club room with his shirt. 

 

It … really was nice, going to dinner with her… 

 

Legosi settled back into the simple task of kneading the soil.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated. :)

Chapter 12: Should have stayed home today

Summary:

Legosi goes with the flow - right off a cliff.

Loud mechanical beeping was a great way to get Legosi’s attention - to remind him he was a part of the world.

 

The wolf glanced rapidly at the machine’s angry alerts, which was noisily telling everyone that his metro card was empty. A large hippo was even then looming closer behind him, snorting in impatience.

 

It was Bill who yelled, “Dude, what the hell! Legosi! Someone’s waiting behind you!”

 

Aoba added, “Hurry up and add money to your pass!”

 

The wolf tried rapidly signing [sorry], to them and the glaring hippo behind.

 

Tao shouted to the hippo, “He says he’s sorry! He can’t talk!”

 

Legosi tried to look as apologetic as possible, ears quite low, and gestured towards Tao for the explanation. Legosi’s heart was racing the entire time as he tried to address the issue with his card. 

 

It wasn’t too long, not really, but even half a minute can feel like an eternity when you’re being watched. 

 

Legosi was all too happy to pick up the rear of their little drama club group. As far as he was concerned, the handful of teenage carnivores could lead the way and he’d follow. 

 

Bill was sort of teasing, “Legosi.~ You don’t come to town that often, do you?”

 

Legosi quickly shook his head.

 

Tao turned more, “Wait, what? Not even on weekends? You have to visit on the weekends!”

 

Legosi shook his head again. He then rapidly typed, {I can shop online just fine.}

 

Tao read it aloud for him.

 

Aoba commented playfully, “You sound like an old man, Legosi. It’s not just about shopping - there’s way more to do in the city, stuff that you can’t do at Cherryton.”

 

The wolf gave a weary shrug.

 

The others seemed to be satisfied with that, even if there was so much more to say. 

 

The outside world has just never been much fun for me.

 

It used to be just a matter of my voice, and my lack thereof… I can’t even go through a metro station without running into an issue, can’t say ‘excuse me,’ can’t say ‘I’m sorry.’ I can’t apologize for something the way they can.

 

At best, I just come across as rude for a little bit. 

 

At worst, someone hotblooded starts a fight - like that day in the cafeteria, or in the hall with Juno…

 

Though, those might have been my fault… 

 

How do I explain it to them? A fun weekend trip for them is a battleground for me - where no one even knows the language I speak.

 

The city is so close by train, but I might as well be in a foreign country.

 

It wasn’t as bad when I was a little kid. Mom and grandpa could translate for me, could stand up for me. No one really says much, if a little kid isn’t talking to strangers.

 

But I’m not six or seven anymore.

 

I’m taller than most animals. I’m stronger than most animals. I was just trying to give Els a letter, but she thought I was a monster.

 

All that training with grandpa was supposed to give me more confidence, make me feel safer. But I don’t. I still have trouble with my nerves, and now when I lose my cool … 

 

Legosi wanted to groan. It had already been a bad way to start the week.

 

Training was supposed to make things easier, but ever since I grew up and filled out, I’ve been even more self-conscious in public. I hate metro stations like this. There’s too many people. And the city … 

 

Ugh, I wanted to prove to Louis I was still capable and independent on my own, but now I wish I stayed on campus after all.

 

At least we’re going to be back there soon…

 

Legosi actually bothered to look up from his classmates’ heels. He was suddenly confused as the rest of the club was still walking along, even though they’d already gone so far. He double checked the time. They should have been back to Cherryton already. 

 

Legosi stayed close as he looked down at his phone, trying to write out a message. He tapped Tao on the shoulder, to show it to him, {We’re just on the way back from the meeting. Why did we have to change trains this time?}

 

Tao started reading it out loud automatically, right away, and before he was even done, the rest of them were looking at Legosi weird.

 

The wolf swallowed funny. He tried to look as confused as he felt.

 

Bill teased, “You followed us without realizing where we’re going? We’re headed for Center Street! Duh!~”

 

Aoba added, “Why would we go straight back to school without visiting here first?”

 

Even Tao was for it. “Yeah, and I could really go for something to eat.”

 

“Yes!“ Bill smiled broadly, “We can get some non-cafeteria food!”

 

“Fries,” Tao requested. “I could eat so many fries right now…”

 

Hungry, teenage carnivores: they heard the call of food, and started hunting for a quick meal. Legosi decided to keep bringing up the rear, silent again, trying not to be conscious of the greater mass of people around them. So many people - of every size - were headed any which way in this part of town.

 

It was far too many, as far as Legosi was concerned.

 

He tried to reassure himself, Soon. We’ll be back soon… 

 

Aoba fell a little bit behind the rest as he started watching the sky above. The eagle mumbled out, “I wish I could fly like all the birds up there…”

 

Legosi looked concerned, inquisitive, and carefully tapped on Aoba’s shoulder.

 

The eagle gave a reassuring smile, “Oh, it’s nothing bad, Legosi! My wings work. It’s a legal thing - I can’t get my flying license until after I graduate.”

 

Legosi gave an understanding nod.

 

Aoba reached over and affectionately patted the big wolf on the back. “I’d ask if you’re enjoying yourself, but your tail isn’t moving at all. We’ll go home soon, Legosi. I promise.”

 

Legosi gave another meek, appreciative nod, and signed [thanks].

……

Bill complained loudly in the fast-food restaurant, “And then she said, ‘You’re so selfish in bed that it makes me feel sad!’ And then she started to cry about it! Right there! I don’t get her! She said it before we were even done! Sheesh!”

 

Aoba looked a little tired of the tiger’s bullshit. “But she meant what she said, right? Just talk it over with her.”

 

Bill replied, “But she’s pissed at me! There’s no way I can talk to her now!”

 

Aoba already regretted speaking up, and rolled his eyes instead.

 

The tiger added further, “But I love the stripes on her ass. I don’t wanna break up with her!”

 

Tao had to ask, “You have a thing for a girl’s stripes?”

 

Bill scoffed, “Well, yeah! The right stripes are sexy! On anybody! I got a cousin, she married this one guy, a lion. The grandparents were totally freaking out about it, but he totally got stripe tattoos for her - and damn if that ain’t a hardcore love. Legosi! You could totally rock some stripes.”

 

The tiger then got uncomfortably close to the wolf, dragging him into a too-friendly side hug. He asked amicably, “But what about you, Legosi? When are you gonna do it with someone?”

 

Legosi felt his skin crawling. He looked at Bill like the tiger was insane.

 

Bill made a face, “What? Don’t give me that! You’re a virgin, aren’t you? A lot of people dig the strong, silent type. Plus, after your performance on stage … I’m sure we can hook you up with someone, somehow! Aoba! Be his wingman!”

 

Tao covered his eyes at the bad joke.

 

The eagle stroked his chin and actually looked like he was considering it. “Well, we do have that new club member who’s a gray wolf… I guess she’s kind of cute?”

 

Legosi, still uncomfortable, finger spelled her name.

 

Aoba got it wrong, “Is that Jane?”

 

Tao clarified, “No, it’s Juno!”

 

The tiger snapped his fingers, “Right, Juno! Maybe you can lose your virginity with her!”

 

Legosi continued trying to explain with his eyes that they were all crazy. He slowly pushed Bill’s arm off of his back.

 

The tiger continued to play around, “Oh, come on, Legosi! You don’t know what you’re missing. Or wait, do you not like female wolves? …What?? We’re a bunch of theater-loving jocks. We’re not gonna care who you get your rocks off with. Dom’s out of the closet. Tao! Don’t you know that, that guy wolf on the track team? Or is math wolf the gay one?”

 

Tao paused, blinked, “Wait, Jeremy? No, that’s someone else…”

 

Legosi lost his patience eventually. He finally started fussing with his phone to calculate a real, honest reply - just to shut them up. The rest of the carnivores started listing off more potential hookups for Legosi.

 

Legosi showed the message to Tao, who read aloud, {I don’t have sexual feelings towards anyone, girls or guys. There’s no point in talking about it.}

 

Bill just went, “Huh… Well, that’s … something…”

 

The tiger was stuck processing that.

 

Aoba actually spoke up, “Oh, I get it. So Legosi, you’re asexual then?”

 

The tiger clapped his hands, “Yeah, that’s the shit!”

 

Legosi flinched at the loud sound, and frowned more. 

 

He shrugged, slowly - unsure of it himself.

 

The eagle offered, “Or it could be demisexuality. Some people who identify as demisexual, identified as ace before they bonded with the right person or persons. I think some people even call it being ‘gray ace’? I’m not sure offhand. Not that there’s anything wrong with being ace. A lot of people are. Even if someone doesn’t actually experience sexual or romantic feelings, they can still form healthy, loving relationships of their own.”

 

Legosi was doing the confused wolf head-tilt, and bothered to sign, [What?]

 

Aoba backpedaled, “Sorry, what was confusing: the part about being ace or the part about demisexuality?”

 

Legosi held up the ‘d’ in fingerspelling.

 

Aoba wanted to double check. “I’m pretty sure that’s either a ‘d’ or a ‘b’, so, demisexuality?” The wolf nodded, so Aoba explained more, “It’s when a person doesn’t actually experience sexual feelings or attraction towards someone, until they have an emotional connection with them first. I think. I’m not sure how long the word has been around, but I’ve only really heard about it the last few years.”

 

The wolf seemed to ponder that for a moment.

 

Bill started chugging the end of his drink, then slammed it back down, saying, “Asexual, demisexual - whatever it is - you don’t look bad, Legosi. Actually, you looked really solid in that skimpy wolf demon costume, even without stripes! I’m surprised you haven’t got people hitting on you already!”

 

Legosi wondered if Haru counted for that.

 

Tao joked, “Yeah, Legosi: I hear smacking Bill around is a huge turn-on.”

 

Aoba nodded sagely, “Definitely. Seduce people with your ‘wolf on tiger’ violence.”

 

The tiger snapped, “Hey! Fuck you guys!”

……

Legosi was all too glad for the conversation to shift away from him, and onto any other little thing that a bunch of teenage carnivores could think of. He kept glancing at the time, but it was already close to six before the group decided to start heading back.

 

The wolf was still just following along with the group, letting them lead. He was confused about where they were going, but he felt safest sticking with the rest of them.

 

Then Aoba said it out loud: “Well, gentlemen … we’re lost.”

 

After one quick argument about who should have been paying attention and who was in charge of zoozle maps, Bill decided they should just ask for directions. 

 

That … might have gotten them even more lost.

 

Legosi was feeling distinctly unhappy at that point. Maybe if he had made a fuss about it earlier, they’d be back at the dorms already. He could have been safe and comfy in his nice, warm bed - not worried about how they were starting to lose daylight.

 

He tried using his own phone, but for whatever reason, it wasn’t getting much of a signal. It kept dropping to zero bars. 

 

They’d been directed down this one alley, but it wasn’t well marked. The station was supposed to be close by, but there wasn’t even a street name or a sign.

 

Something about this alley was making Legosi feel even worse. It was so … unclean … more dirt than city pavement… 

 

A huge truck was blocking off the way. 

 

Bill grumbled, “Now what? I think we’re even farther from the station than before!”

 

Aoba muttered, “I don’t get it. We followed the directions they gave us precisely. There’s supposed to be a station down this way. Did we miss it? Is it past the truck?”

 

Legosi pulled up short as a nauseating wave of something monstrous hit his nose. He grabbed his snout and his eyes spread wide.

 

Tao was looking around, saw the sudden change in his expressions. “Hey, Legosi? You okay? What’s wrong?”

 

Legosi took another step back, put on his most disgusted face possible, and signed as large as he could, [Bad smell! Bad!]

 

He gestured wildly away from the alley, and tried to tug on Tao’s sleeve, to point them a different direction.

 

Legosi was giving them the subtlety of a baseball bat, and Tao said loudly to the others, “Guys, hold up! Something’s really wrong! Legosi’s freaking out!”

 

Aoba at least tried to pay attention, “Legosi? What’s the matter? Is it a canid thing?”

 

Legosi got his phone out, trying to text as fast as he could, {BLOOD TOO MUCH BLOOD BODIES SWEAT DROOL NOT SAFE.}

 

Bill didn’t really care. “Seriously? Okay, it’s the city, someone probably got killed here. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad for us. We’re a bunch of big carnivores! We’ll be fine. Hey, we can ask this guy! Hey, old man! Do you know where the train station is?”

 

Legosi smelled the worst just a split second before he saw it: the old man bared his half-eaten hands. Only a few fingers hadn’t been chewed off already.

 

The wolf’s insides flipped entirely around. He scrunched his eyes shut, trying not to be dizzy, to not lose his meal, even as he heard Bill quickly shouting a plan to pool their cash for a bite. 

 

The tiger was wide-eyed and wide-mouthed.

 

Bill was doing math, excitedly, joyously.

 

About someone’s body.

 

About - biting the flesh - off of someone’s body.

 

Right there. The old man was right there, and Bill was acting like he was a piece of birthday cake.

 

Legosi wasn’t sure why he did it. Instinct? His body just moved, so fast. He kicked Bill in the stomach so hard, the tiger was thrown off his feet, onto the dirt.

 

Aoba shouted, “Whoa! Legosi!”

 

Tao grappled him from behind, “Dude, chill! What was that?!”

 

Legosi felt the shame immediately follow, even before the others started calling him out. Some piece inside his brain was bent wrong. He tried to speak, to sign, but he barely understood his own thoughts, his cascading feelings, waves of - something - that refused to make words.  

 

Everything was jumbled up and that only made him feel worse.

 

Wrong! It’s wrong! It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s -

 

Bill got back up, snarling with his fangs wide, “Legosi!? What the hell was that for?! I wasn’t even doing anything!”

 

Tao added, “Dude, we were joking about before! We don’t actually want you to beat up anybody!”

 

Aoba tried to intervene, “Legosi, use your phone! We can’t understand you - but if you do that again, we’re gonna have to stop you. You can’t just kick somebody because you feel like it - whether you can talk or not!”

 

Bill growled louder, “If Legosi wants to go psycho again, let him! I owe him for the way he embarrassed me during Adler anyway! No fake swords here, just claws and fangs!”

 

No not again not - 

 

Legosi tried to scrunch his eyes shut, to not think of the tiger, to try to forget Bill’s face, to not see him in the dark, and to not feel the sudden, powerful urge to - do something? To beat a badger bloody, stab a tiger, slam a vulture to the ground. 

 

Breathe, just breathe, don’t lose control, don’t lose control -

 

Legosi’s insides were freaking out again, breathing way too fast, caught between Tao and Aoba and everyone else circling around him and all Legosi knew was he needed to be ‘Anywhere But Here.’

 

The big truck groaned to life, and rolled out of the way of some kind of terrible-smelling market. 

 

Legosi kept his eyes shut.

 

He reacted.

 

He broke free of Tao easily - automatically - old training with Gosha that knocked the panther off him. 

 

The wolf shoved past the others and just ran. He ran as fast as he could, in a straight line - the only way - but also the worst way possible.

 

He opened his eyes to get through the madness. 

 

Legosi sprinted through the back alley market like a demon, and this was hell - lined with blood and bodies and flesh, and so many carnivores, mouths hungry and happy, sickening and salivating.

 

Legosi felt his neck getting tighter and tighter and it wasn’t the scarf, but he was grabbing at it anyway, yanking it off, dropping it even as he remembered the deadly maw that nearly killed him once before - they were right there, so close, he could feel ghost fangs digging into his throat -

 

He tripped going around a corner. He just wanted to escape. He tried to catch himself on a wall, only to stumble worse, roll, ragdoll clumsily onto the ground. He looked up at the darkening sky above - before all the stars winked out and Legosi passed out with them.

……

Legosi wasn’t a morning person - but he couldn’t see the sky or a clock, so he couldn’t be sure if it was morning, evening or otherwise. He felt sick and terrible regardless, whatever time it was. Nauseous. 

 

He vaguely recalled passing out in an alley, but not how he got to this room. It could have been a hospital for all the medical equipment he saw, but hospitals weren’t equipped with … chains.

 

No hospital Legosi knew anyway.

 

That’s all it took: waking up to chains and a muzzle and some metal collar around his neck, and Legosi started panicking again.

 

He fussed with the manacles on his wrists, pulled and twisted and yanked and metal got noisier and noisier as a lumbering shadow came around to investigate. 

 

The bear puffed his cigarette in the dark. He growled out, “I’d ask how you’re feeling, but my guess is pretty awful. …Relax, kid. I’m not going to hurt you unless you make me hurt you. Relax.”

 

Legosi showed him exactly how impossible ‘relaxing’ was, wheezing and rasping and scrambling to get away even as the panic shot his heart rate up higher and higher. Legosi’s fingers fought at the collar with desperation, trying to claw it off himself - but this wasn’t a scarf - it was hard, thick metal, and he was only scraping his neck and hands. The bear grabbed him by the wrists, rapidly processing all the terror. 

 

“Kid, relax!” the bear ordered. He held on tight to Legosi’s arms even as the wolf shook wildly and started choking on nothing but his past - on a collar, and a muzzle. “Exhale! Blow out! Deep breaths, blow out! Blow out now!”

 

Legosi threw up, violently, before the bear could get the muzzle off.

Chapter 13: A true professional

Summary:

Gouhin puts the psycho in psychoeducation.

Legosi gets some important context about the school year so far.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated. :)

Legosi just laid on the clinic’s floor for a while. Breathing. 

 

Just trying to breathe, shouldn’t be so hard.

 

The huge panda bear cleaned up the mess. Considering it was the bear’s fault Legosi had been muzzled and collared, that was only right. The bear still left one chain on Legosi’s left wrist, but he had removed everything else. 

 

Legosi still didn’t want to get up or go anywhere. He wanted to be on the floor.

 

The bear grumbled, “In retrospect, that was not one of my best clinical decisions. I am, after all, a real doctor.”

 

Legosi might have laughed, if he didn’t feel so sick.

 

The bear came over with a stethoscope then, to listen closer to Legosi’s chest. He said eventually, “Your heart sounds a little better. Do you feel any better, now that the sedative is in your system?”

 

Legosi held thumb and forefinger close together to say, [a little.]

 

The panda brought a chair over so he could sit closer. “Can’t speak, can you?”

 

Legosi signed [no] without moving his arms, and didn’t care if the bear knew sign language or not.

 

The bear grunted. “Well, we’ll figure something out. I’m still not giving you back your phone till later, there are a number of things we need to straighten out first. This area gets terrible reception anyway. For now, it’s just you and I. My name is Gouhin. You could call me the psychiatrist of the black market … though, I suppose you won’t be calling me much of anything out loud.”

 

Legosi signed [no] again.

 

Gouhin growled, “I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you aren’t telling me to fuck off.”

 

Legosi didn’t move. Legosi didn’t want to move ever again.

 

Gouhin started talking like he had a script prepared: “Carnivores who faint or panic at the black market are almost definitely ones who have killed an herbivore before. I cannot permit those offenders to just go free. The better you work with me, the sooner you’ll get to go home. Do you understand?”

 

Legosi nodded weakly, [yes.]

 

The bear grumbled to himself again, before muttering, “I’m going to get a pen and paper…”

 

He came back with a camera, too. 

 

Legosi still didn’t get up. He kept laying there as Gouhin snapped a photo.

 

The bear dropped pen and a pad of note paper in front of Legosi, then sat back down, saying, “I’m going to ask you a few questions. Refusing to answer is not an option. That was a mild sedative, it’s not nearly as strong as you’re acting. I expressly calculated the dose to a wolf your size.”

 

Legosi just wrote, {Ok.}

 

Gouhin asked first, “What’s your name?”

 

{Legosi.}

 

The bear questioned, “So, Legosi … when was it that you killed and devoured an herbivore?”

 

{Never.}

 

Gouhin scoffed, “And yet you passed out in the back alley market. Care to explain that?”

 

{Blood. Saliva. Bad friend.}

 

Legosi scratched out the word ‘friend,’ and then wrote {tiger.}

 

Gouhin read that and just grumbled more. “Kid, you’re not making sense. You can write better than that, can’t you? I can assess the damage to your throat, I’d have to be blind to miss all that scarring, but I didn’t see any head wounds.”

 

Legosi just held the pen to the paper for a long moment. Then he finally wrote it out.

 

{I can still smell the drool of the man who bit my throat out.}

 

The panda’s shoulders tensed. “How often have you experienced panic attacks in your life?”

 

Legosi shifted a few centimeters. {More when I was a kid. Started having some again since I started school.}

 

“You ‘started’ school?” Gouhin repeated it for clarification.

 

Legosi wrote, {Homeschooled since 5. Was enrolled at Cherryton this year.}

 

Gouhin sat on that a moment. “Can I assume you were five years old when you were attacked?”

 

Legosi slowly nodded yes.

 

The bear stood up then, heading towards a bookcase. He took one book down, flipped through the pages. 

 

He got out another file before he started reading things aloud. 

 

“We’re going to work with a scale of 0 to 3. 0 is not at all, 1 is once in a while, or a few times. 2 is somewhat or half the time. 3 is a lot or almost always. Got that?”

 

Legosi nodded.

 

“In the past few weeks, how often have you felt jumpy or easily startled?”

 

{3.}

 

“How often have you felt overly alert, hypervigilant?”

 

{3.}

 

“How often have you had trouble concentrating?”

 

{2.}

 

“How often have you felt irritable, or had fits of anger?”

 

{2.}

 

He wondered if he should have put a 3. It wasn’t all the time, but those moments had definitely been … explosive.

 

At least he felt better in the garden.

 

“How often have you had trouble falling or staying asleep?”

 

{2.}

 

“How often have you felt as if your future hopes or plans will not come true?”

 

Legosi snorted. {What plans.}

 

“How often have you felt emotionally numb, unable to cry or have loving feelings?”

 

He had to think about that one. He didn’t have a solid answer for it, he wrote a {1} first, then made it a {2} instead.

 

How do you define ‘a loving feeling’?

 

“How often have you felt distant or cut off from other people around you?”

 

{3.} He wrote over the 3 several times to make it look bolder.

 

“Have you had less interest in activities you used to enjoy, or that should be important to you?”

 

Does theater count?

 

{1 - 2.}

 

“How often have you had trouble remembering part of the traumatic event?”

 

Legosi gave the panda a confused, questioning expression.

 

Gouhin clarified, “The event where you were attacked, as a kid. Do you have trouble remembering parts?”

 

{I don’t know. I was 5. Lost a lot of blood, lost consciousness.}

 

“Have you tried to avoid activities or people that remind you of the traumatic event?”

 

Legosi nodded.

 

“How often?”

 

{2. Maybe 3.}

 

“How often have you tried to avoid talking about it, or even thinking about it?”

 

{3.}

 

“How often have you felt physical reactions when reminded of it? Things like sweating, increased heart rate, the panic attacks?”

 

{3. Maybe 2.}

 

“How often have you felt emotionally upset when reminded about it?”

 

{2.}

 

“How often have you felt like you’re reliving it, like it’s happening again right now?”

 

Legosi took a long time before he wrote {1.}

 

“How often have you had bad dreams or nightmares? About it, or otherwise?”

 

{1.}

 

“How often have upsetting thoughts or images come into your head, even when you don’t want them to?”

 

{2.}

 

“And we established the panic attacks, so I can skip that… How often have you felt upset about being in public, in busy or crowded spaces?”

 

{3}.

 

“How often have you had trouble controlling your reactions, or felt an impulse to react aggressively or violently?”

 

He was definitely not going to put 3 for that.

 

{1} was a lie, it was probably a 2.

 

“How have you felt about yourself?”

 

Legosi wrote flatly, {Hate myself.}

 

“How have you felt about the world?”

 

{Hate it. Terrible.}

 

The bear said optimistically, “Congratulations, Legosi. You aren’t a killer. You just have post-traumatic stress disorder.”

 

Emotionless Legosi wrote, {Ha. Ha.} 

……

The unshackled wolf finally sat up in a chair. Legosi still felt empty as he stared at the cup of tea in his hands.

 

The bear explained, “It’s bamboo tea. It’s delicious. You’ll enjoy it.”

 

Legosi took a sip without really caring.

 

Gouhin rumbled for a moment at their one-sided conversation. “I’d ask if you’re having a bad day, but I can pretty much tell that already. I apologize for making a bad day worse. In my defense, you wouldn’t believe how many carnivores wind up in my clinic because of devouring.”

 

Legosi slumped a little further down into his chair.

 

The bear added, “I thought you would have more questions about this. Go ahead, write them down. I’ll tell you whatever I can. It’s the least I can do.”

 

Legosi was used to not getting answers. 

 

But this seemed like a mildly important thing to care about. He tried to muster up a little energy.

 

Legosi slowly wrote down, {Why now?}

 

The old bear shrugged, “Who knows. Could be the stress of a new school, could be some other trigger, could be no trigger at all. Could be growing up. The best person to answer that is you. There are many forms of trauma, and related trauma disorders. Not everyone has the same symptoms. Post-traumatic stress disorder doesn’t actually manifest right away. The symptoms show up months or even years later. The traumatic event is like an earthquake, and PTSD like the aftershock - only on your insides, like your nervous system.”

 

Legosi tried to process that. He eventually asked, {Is it curable?}

 

Gouhin said seriously, “It can be. I can’t make you any promises there. It’s not my specialty. People are developing new techniques all the time. Yet even in an absolute worst-case scenario, the symptoms can still be managed with medication, therapy, and healthy coping skills.”

 

I should probably just plan for the worst.

 

So Legosi asked, {Will I get worse?}

 

The panda shrugged weakly, “We can’t know that. You could. If you put off getting help, if you don’t work on getting better, then yes. Your symptoms could worsen. You could develop others. Everybody’s biology is different - that’s going to affect your journey, your recovery - but you have to start somewhere. It’s better to address it sooner rather than later.”

 

Considering his grandfather, Legosi definitely knew his biology wasn’t the norm. 

 

Legosi tried to take another long, deep breath. His lungs still felt shaky inside. 

 

The wolf wrote down, {Where’s the metro station?}

 

Gouhin pointed, “One is just a little ways from here, down that way. Is that where you were trying to get to?”

 

Legosi nodded. {Got lost.}

 

Gouhin hesitated. “There’s still some things I need to know before I let you go. When you do get upset, and angry - do you want to hurt people? Or, maybe just the person who hurt you?”

 

Legosi didn’t know why he thought that was funny. He just barely cracked a smile. He wrote down, {They’re already dead. Grandpa saw to that.}

 

Legosi decided to not mention his recent violent outbursts, his urge to hurt Bill, or how avoidable the fights could have been. He knew he lost control. 

 

He didn’t want to give the bear any excuses to put him back in the chains, or to call the police. He just wanted his bed.

 

The bear didn’t look happier. “What about you? …Do you ever want to hurt yourself?”

 

Legosi had to actually think about that. 

 

He held the pen lighter, and for a moment, he just hovered the tip over the paper. 

 

{It’d be easier, if I wasn’t alive. But I don’t want to die, if that’s what you mean.}

 

Gouhin tried to sound encouraging, “Then … you should think about the good things life still has to offer you. Think about the people who matter to you, and how you matter to them. Think about where you want to go, what you like, what you want to do. Today you got lost, and wound up in the worst place our society has to offer. But, there are a lot of great places in it, too. Think about that…”

 

“…And, as a psychiatrist… it is my official medical recommendation that you start work with a doctor out there, and a therapist. Recovering from PTSD takes time and effort. The sooner you start that work, the better. It sounds like you’ve had it rough for a long time. I promise, kid: things will look up eventually… You just gotta do the work, okay?”

 

Legosi didn’t think he had the energy for any of that right now. 

 

The bear moved over to a medical cabinet then, searching through a long series of pill bottles, before finding one that might do. He put a handful into a new empty bottle, then wrote some directions on it. 

 

Gouhin handed it over to him along with Legosi’s confiscated phone, explaining, “A full blown panic attack can sometimes feel as bad as a heart attack. I can give you these meds for now, in case of an emergency, but the sooner you start working with a doctor to stabilize, the better. Do not take more than prescribed, alright? Especially do not drink it with alcohol, and don’t take it now. You’ve already got one in your system. But if terrible things happen, if things are overwhelming, and you’re having trouble processing it … the meds can help.”

 

Head bowed, Legosi accepted the medicine reluctantly. His eyes trailed over the scrawled directions. He blew out another long breath, and shoved the bottle in his pocket for later.

 

Legosi still wrote {thanks} before Gouhin saw him out.

 

Neither were sure if he meant it. 

……

Legosi trudged his way down the alley, somehow pushing one foot in front of the other.

 

At least he hadn’t slept through the night. The dorm mother would have thrown a fit if he had, and Legosi didn’t think Gouhin would be writing him any excused absences. It was still late nightfall, more darkness than sunlight left in the sky.

 

Legosi’s phone beeped once at him as he approached the normal part of the city. Then it beeped again, and again. The wolf pulled the phone out of his pocket, and started to read all the messages it said he had missed.

 

Tao: {Dude, where are you? Where’d you go?}

 

Aoba: {Legosi, what happened? Are you okay? We can’t find you.}

 

Tao: {Dude, I don’t care about getting shoved. Bill’s over it, too. We’re really worried. We don’t understand what’s going on. Please respond.}

 

Bill: {Where the fuck are you? The guys are freaking out, all we found is your scarf! Be mad at me, not them!}

 

Aoba: {Was it the smell? Were you, I don’t know, having flashbacks? You never talk about your scars. What’s going on? We can’t read your mind.}

 

Tao: {Come on, dude! Give us a sign! This isn’t funny!}

 

Bill: {I’m sorry, okay?? Is that what you want to hear?? Make some noise already, we can’t find you anywhere! Don’t take it out on the guys!}

 

Aoba: {We’re splitting up to keep looking. Please text us as soon as you can.}

 

There were a few more like that. Before Legosi could even get through reading them, he had to sit on a street bench, and just … he cried. Legosi squeezed his eyes shut, and he just cried, and cried some more. 

 

It was too much.

 

Through bleary eyes, he finally managed to text Aoba.

 

{I was picked up by a doctor. Had no signal. I’m heading to a metro station now. Tell the guys I’m sorry. I guess I’m sick.}

Chapter 14: A woman scorned

Summary:

A brief recess in Legosi's life of suffering.

Louis and Haru have an important (humorous) talk.

Notes:

Comments are much appreciated. :)

Louis looked at the text message on his phone with growing concern. 

 

All Haru had written was, {I need to talk to you. Come to the garden this evening.}

 

Terrifying words.

 

This was not how Louis wanted this day to go. He was already feeling paranoid about Legosi being on his own with that bunch of drama carnivores. Aoba was relatively trustworthy, he seemed level-headed, but the feline carnivores were worrisome. 

 

Louis especially didn’t trust Bill after Adler . It wasn’t like Louis had any particular positive sentiments towards Bill before then, but Louis knew about the blood vial now. That had cemented certain opinions of his about the tiger.

 

Louis grit his teeth. He messaged her back, {I can’t. I have to study for a test.}

 

Her reply came back faster, {That’s bullshit, Louis. You can see me in the garden, or I’ll see you in your dorm. Loudly.}

 

The red deer grumbled on his own. He quickly tried to think of how to play it, the right way to phrase himself… He needed to stall for time: she offered an evening meet up and the afternoon would give him time to plan. 

 

He texted, {Alright. I’ll see you at six.}

 

It still wasn’t enough time. 

 

Even when he finally walked into Haru’s personal sanctuary - her garden above it all - he still wasn’t quite sure how to say it.

 

She was already standing there, waiting for his arrival - already prepared for more of Louis’ bullshit. The rabbit had her arms crossed, was tapping her shoe angrily, impatiently.

 

Louis carefully closed the stairwell door behind him. “Alright,” he started simply, trying to test the waters. “I’m here. What did you want to talk about?”

 

Haru needed to know, “Was it always just an act to you?”

 

Louis frowned immediately. The red deer didn’t need to ask for clarification, just answered, “No. Never. Our relationship is important to me.”

 

The rabbit replied fast, “But it hasn’t stopped you from avoiding me. I thought you were just having trouble with your leg after Adler , but I’m not stupid, Louis! I know you’ve been giving me the cold shoulder! You’ve been avoiding me outright, you’ve barely responded to my texts! I thought that, of all people, you wouldn’t care about a few rumors!”

 

Louis gently put his hands up in his defense, “Okay. I see. I would like to take this time to say three things. I didn’t mean to upset you. Would you allow me the chance to explain, with three things?”

 

Haru gave a little rabbit harrumph and gestured for him to take the floor.

 

The red deer cleared his throat, and stood a little straighter. “First off, I don’t even know what rumors you’re talking about. Up until a bit ago, I’d had my head buried in the drama club and classes, and yes, the fracture did make it hard to get around anywhere. The only way up here is by stairs. I can make assumptions about what you mean, but I assure you, my thinking process has not been affected by rumors - positively or negatively.”

 

Haru held up her thumb. “Okay, that’s one. You get two more.”

 

“Second,” Louis hesitated, “is that yes, on some level, I do care about rumors. I have to admit that. I’m in line to be the Beastar. My image matters. Yet, for the same reason, I can also squash a certain sort of rumor. I have some measure of social power, I can use it if it needs to be used. We don’t necessarily talk much about our individual lives … but it sounds like something has been going on in yours.”

 

The rabbit looked a little more suspicious of him then. Her nose was particularly twitchy. She held up another finger. “Okay, that’s two. Final shot.”

 

Louis grit his teeth then. He still wasn’t sure of his wording, but even if it was bad, she had a right to know. Like the time with Legosi, honesty and an apology might be needed in concert. 

 

Being considerate was not something his father could teach.

 

Louis was careful, “Thirdly… Thirdly, I have been avoiding you, yes - but not because of anything you did, or any rumor! A certain person made it clear to me … I’ve been a jerk. Me, not you. So I’ve been rethinking certain behaviors of mine, certain attitudes. I’m not sure if I’ve been treating you appropriately.”

 

Haru’s eyes threatened to roll up into her skull. “So instead of talking with me about your feelings and our relationship, you decided to give me the silent treatment?”

 

Louis’ mouth hung open for a second. “Well, when you put it like that … I’m an idiot.”

 

Haru scoffed, “Who are you and what have you done with Louis?”

 

The deer put on a noble expression to joke, “Oh, I’m a changeling child. Switched him out in the middle of the night, I wanted his money.”

 

The rabbit laughed louder. “Oh, understandable. We all want his money. The little buck has big bucks.” 

 

“Little?!” Louis sounded offended, “I am not little! I’m still growing!”

 

Haru shook her head, properly entertained by this turn of events. She sighed pleasantly, “Seriously, Louis? Someone calls you a jerk and you have a midlife crisis?”

 

Louis huffed, “I would hardly call 18 ‘ midlife’ .”

 

Haru teased back, “Oh please, you’re going to start drinking yourself to an early grave by the time you’re legal. Maybe before then.”

 

Louis smiled and nodded along at her explanation, “I suppose. You’re probably right about that.” The red deer’s face sobered up, and he looked a bit ashamed as he admitted, “It was quite a bit more than calling me a jerk, but … I also deserved it, after the way I’d been treating Legosi.”

 

Haru crossed her hands, “Wait, hold up hold up. You’ve been a jerk to Legosi ? Big wolf, insufferably helpful, looks like he got his throat ripped out?”

 

Louis grimaced. “…Yes?”

 

Haru groaned loudly and slapped her forehead. She seemed to be appraising him again, “Well, are you going to be normal Louis and try to change the topic, or for once, are you actually going to talk about it with me?”

 

The red deer chewed on that a second. “It’s kind of a long story…”

 

Haru gestured to the garden’s club room, and pretended she was an old male psychiatrist with a foreign accent. “Well then, please step into my office. You can tell me all about your childhood.”

 

Louis pretended to be annoyed and put upon, but they went inside together.

……

Laying on his back, staring up at the ceiling, Louis finished catching her up on the semester. “And I’ve been trying to be a good interpreter and a good friend - to encourage him to keep speaking up for himself - but I just can’t shake this … weird feeling. It’s like, I didn’t really see him until that night on stage. It’s like he’s a whole different person in my head now! I’m second guessing everything I do when it comes to him…”

 

“…I’ve started feeling nervous and awkward even when I think about him. There are times it even makes me feel sick, but I’m still looking forward to seeing him every day, and - I think I liked just seeing him smile. He barely smiled before! It’s weird and I don’t know how it all works. Aside from you, I’m not used to actually having friends - much less one that’s a guy and a carnivore! It’s not normal for me!”

 

Haru was sitting close by on a chair. She had one leg crossed over the other, a notepad in hand, and was pretending to take notes with a pencil. She continued with her fake accent, “Yes. Yes, I see. I believe I have identified the problem.”

 

Louis looked over at her, pretending to go along with her, “Well, doc? What’s wrong with me?”

 

Haru leaned in and whispered scandalously, “It is a very serious diagnosis, this thing. It has brought many a person low, to despair, and left them questioning their self-worth. You, my petite Bambi friend, have - feelings .”

 

Louis raised the back of his hand to his forehead, sarcastically saying, “Oh no. Not ‘feelings’. Say it ain’t so, doc. You can cure me, right?”

 

Haru teased, “Yes, but there is only one cure: you must - have sex with the rabbit!”

 

Louis actually gave a small laugh at that. Both of them shared a smirk at their stupid little joke.

 

Then Haru prodded him with the eraser end of her pencil. She said in her normal voice, “But seriously, Louis: you caught feelings for him.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes, “You can’t ‘ catch ’ feelings. It’s not like they’re a virus.”

 

Haru stared him down, “Louis, you have the emotional development of a ten year old. You don’t get to tell me how feelings work. You have a crush! This is practically how you started dating me!”

 

The red deer looked at her like she was crazy. “Okay, I’ll bite, because I have no clue where you’re going with this. How the hell is it the same? I already shed my antlers, I think I’d remember if I started bleeding all over the stage.”

 

Haru groaned, “It’s not about blood or your antlers! It’s not physical at all! It’s about being challenged . You like it when someone stands up to you! You like to see, um, inner strength! The day we met, you showed up bleeding in my garden, you tried to shove me away. You even tried to buy me off! I had to yell at you and physically drag you into the club room before you’d let me help! I practically had to fight you to disinfect your wounds. It sounds like Legosi has been trying to help you for a while, too - whether you deserve it or not - but he was absolutely standing up for himself on stage!”

 

Louis didn’t believe her. “And what, because super-helpful half-naked Legosi was standing there with his pumped, ripped body - fresh off of trouncing Bill into the floor, yelling at me and calling me out on my shit - that somehow I now want to kiss his stupid sexy face oh fucking Rex, I want to kiss his stupid sexy face.”

 

Louis’ eyes widened as he said that. He quickly grabbed a pillow, and screamed into it.

 

Haru patted his arm and put on her fake accent again, “Yes, yes. Let it all out. Let the feelings happen.”

……

Louis was pacing around the small club room. 

 

Haru had shifted to laying on the bed, reading the school newspaper. 

 

He was trying to figure out some things in that messed up head of his. Then he snapped his fingers when an idea came.

 

Louis was determined, “Okay. We can fix this! This is easy. He’s a carnivore. I’m an herbivore. Clearly a relationship between us would never work.”

 

Haru glanced at him over the edge of the school newspaper. “Seriously? All the reasons you could come up with, and that’s what sticks out?”

 

Louis replied seriously, “Yes! We can’t change that about ourselves. He’s going to want meat. I’m meat.”

 

“And I’m chopped liver,” Haru complained.

 

Louis was aghast, “How do you even know that expression?!”

 

Haru said blankly, “I’m small, sneaky, and 30% ears. I overhear the carnivores say things.”

 

Louis fussed, “Nevermind! Well, I’d keep dating you, too, but you already know we can’t be together forever. We’ve talked about this before, it’s the responsibility of every young animal to produce pure-blood children. My father has an arranged marriage for me! He expects an heir!”

 

Haru turned a page, “Ah-huh. Sure.”

 

Louis winced, “Which, yes, would preclude a relationship with Legosi as well! I just mean, I can fix this one thing! That’s all it would take! If I get Legosi to eat meat, that will fix my brain! I’ll get my stupid horny Id to see Legosi as the dangerous, hungry carnivore he actually is, and not some super sexy jock studmuffin - fucking damn it, Haru! Look what you’ve done! Fucking shit cakes! I blame you for this!”

 

The rabbit fake laughed, “Haaa haha no. I just pointed out what you were too dense to notice sooner.”

 

Louis complained, “I could have gone pleasantly ignorant for who knows how long - maybe till after I graduated and we left! I have more important things to deal with than another interspecies crush! I’m not supposed to like you, let alone him! Why are brains so stupid?!”

 

Haru turned another page, “Welcome to adulthood: a population, now you. But as long as we’re talking canids, what’s that other expression? You’re barking up the wrong tree. Legosi’s not dangerous, not like that anyway. Legosi’s had plenty of opportunities to eat me. I’m not sure if he even can bite someone, after what happened to him.”

 

Louis frowned again, and stopped pacing. 

 

His voice suddenly dropped quiet and serious. He asked, “Do you … know what happened to him?”

 

Haru shook her head, “Nah, I don’t think he’s comfortable talking about it. I know I wouldn’t be - and I didn’t want to push him. It’s better if he makes that decision on his own. Honestly, as bad as those scars look, it’s probably a miracle he’s even alive. They’re definitely not surgical, that’s for sure. I’ve never seen anybody else alive with marks like those.”

 

Louis rubbed at his own neck in sympathy. “I tried to ask him a time or two, only when it was related to what we were discussing. He just says, ‘maybe later,’ so you’re probably right. …But - wait, what do you mean he’s had ‘plenty of opportunities’ to eat you? …Haru??”

 

The rabbit glared, “Don’t look at me like that! It’s nothing sexual! And even if it was, we made it very clear we’re not exclusive, Mr. Arranged Marriage! Legosi’s helped me with the garden sometimes. He likes being helpful, and tries not to make a scene - unlike your dramatic ass. The first day I met him, he didn’t even tell me he can’t talk! He said later that he didn’t want to bother me with it. ‘Bother’ me! Like he needed to be considerate of me, not the other way around!”

 

Louis crossed his arms and kept his head low. “Yeah, that sounds like a Legosi thing to do… He’s surprisingly self-conscious, despite all the physical training he does.”

 

Haru continued more softly, “I thought he was just shy and embarrassed about what he really wanted. It seems like every other guy wants sex, but he freaked out and ran away when I tried to take off his scarf - which, yeah, makes a lot more sense now that I’ve seen his bare neck. Then another day, he was worried when he heard me yelling at some assholes. He worries, like a lot. He came running to help me, just in case I was in trouble…” 

 

“…We ended up eating dinner together and texting back and forth. We’ve just enjoyed texting and working on the garden since then. Point is, we’ve been alone together a bunch of times. He’s had chances to eat me if he wanted to. Between the three of us, Legosi is probably the least likely to bite. But thinking about all that is wasted energy. Considering how big a jerk you were to him, I doubt Legosi would be interested in you anyway - if he even swings that way.”

 

Louis grumbled more, “And what, you’ve been so perfect he’d date you?”

 

The rabbit tapped a finger to her lips and looked off in the distance. Haru teased him, “Well, since you said it … yeah, maybe. Hmm. Admittedly, the scarf issue doesn’t prove he’s gay or straight, it just proves he’s self-conscious about his scars. I’ve never had sex with a carnivore, much less one his size, but … well, I was willing to try before we even started to text with each other. Now I know him and I like spending time with him. Though he really is a big guy… You’ve got a locker room for the drama club, don’t you? Have you looked at him, down there? How big are we talking about?”

 

Louis covered his ears. “I’m not listening to this. I’m not imagining this. I’m not enabling this. This can only end in pain. And the hospital.”

 

Haru flicked the deer with her fingers, “Oh ye of little faith. I have mad skills.”

 

Louis grabbed the pillow, so he could groan in it again.

 

Haru sighed in faux sympathy. “Honestly, Louis, you’re making way too much of this. Everyone gets feelings. Everyone has to figure them out. So you like Legosi! That’s understandable, it really is. He’s a very likeable guy. People just need to take a little longer to talk with him. That’s all. You’ve probably been talking with him more than anybody. But we’re teenagers. Our feelings change a lot! There’s no hurry to act on any of them. Just, no scheming against Legosi! That, I’m serious about! He’s a good guy. I don’t want you messing with his emotions.”

 

Louis grumbled past the pillow, and held two fingers close together. “Not even a little scheming?”

 

Haru promptly grabbed the pillow and started hitting him with it, shouting, “No schemes!”

 

Louis started laughing as he defended himself from her tiny, fluffy outrage.

Chapter 15: And that's the gospel truth

Summary:

Legosi needs to talk it out with Bill.

Louis does not like this course of events.

Notes:

As always, comments are appreciated.

My dad had a big medical scare this morning. I'm not yet sure how this will impact my posting and replying this week. Just letting you know. Thoughts and prayers.

Legosi hadn’t been himself all day long.

 

He trudged through another morning’s breakfast, and hadn’t perked up even when he made it to class. Not even a mid-morning sandwich could fix that.

 

Louis tried to strike up a conversation about the drama club, what the senior officers had been planning, but Legosi had trouble paying attention.

 

He supposed that could have been part of PTSD - Gouhin had said something about difficulty focusing - but Legosi also just had a lot of things on his mind. It was hard to care as much about math today. He had other, more important concerns, to solve for the very real X and Y in his own, actual life. 

 

Louis asked him if he was okay - a couple times in fact, over the course of the day. Legosi kept assuring him he was fine. It was clearly a lie, but Louis didn’t try to push him for the truth. (Haru said it’d be better not to push.) 

 

Legosi was silently grateful for that. Louis would be finding out the truth soon anyway.

 

Legosi had the day to think about it all, to second-guess himself. By late afternoon, he was still set on a certain course of action. He knew what he needed to do, for himself.

 

Legosi waited for the end of the last class. He got Louis’ attention first, then signed, [Can you help me at the start of drama club? I need to talk to Bill, for real. It’s too much for me to write down, but it should only take a few minutes.]

 

The red deer frowned, and momentarily stopped picking up his books. Louis replied, “That shouldn’t be a problem. Is it something important?”

 

The solemn wolf nodded. [Yes, and … could we maybe use your office? It’s personal. I don’t think he’ll actually want to talk to me, but … yeah, it’s important.]

 

Louis wasn’t sure if he liked how Legosi was phrasing that - Legosi had been acting melancholy all day - but Louis was still trying very hard to be considerate. Louis tried to suspend his curiosity. 

 

Louis offered, “Well, I could invite him for you.”

 

Legosi’s jaws tightened. [That’d be good, thanks.]

 

So Louis made the invite, brought Bill in to the club office, where a tired-looking Legosi was just waiting.

 

The tiger soured immediately, “Legosi? What the fuck, are you snitching on me?!”

 

Louis and Legosi both frowned together.

 

Louis stated, “Legosi just wanted me to relay something for him. Why? Is there something I should know?”

 

Bill grit his teeth.

 

Legosi signed fast, [No. I wanted to tell him sorry.]

 

Louis repeated that aloud for Bill, though the tiger remained angry and skeptical. The tiger crossed his arms, and Legosi made a point of closing the door for privacy.

 

Legosi asked the deer, [Can you just repeat what I sign for a few minutes? Bill deserves a real explanation.]

 

Louis leaned back against the desk, and put his hands in his pockets. “Alright. I can do that. Bill, Legosi wants me to be his voice for a minute. He said you deserve an explanation about something.”

 

Bill grumbled softly, “Considering I have no idea what this is about, yes, I’d like an explanation.”

 

Legosi stood still for a few seconds, looking down at his hands - like they were a blank page and he didn’t know what to write. He was avoiding looking at Bill’s face entirely. It was an uncomfortable moment for everyone, before Legosi finally began to sign - more to Louis than to Bill.

 

Louis swallowed hard before he spoke up. “It was a tiger that bit through my throat.”

 

Bill’s anger vanished like a blown-out candle.

 

Legosi and Louis continued, “I don’t like talking about it. I don’t even like thinking about it. It happened when I was five, so I thought I put it behind me. But the doctor that found me said I have PTSD. - Wait, what doctor ? Found you when? Where ?”

 

Legosi grimaced, signed, [Louis, please just interpret. This is hard enough already, I need to get through this.]

 

Louis breathed, “Alright. Sorry. Just interpreting. Continue. - The doctor did an assessment yesterday. I’ve had the night to think about it, to look it up, and PTSD makes sense. The symptoms, I mean - I’ve been experiencing them for a while. I just didn’t have the words for it. A lot of things make sense to me now - and you’ve been getting caught up in it. I don’t want to tell everyone, but after what happened on stage, and in the alley, you deserve to know. People always used to look at me like I’m a dumb psycho. I don’t want to give them another reason.”

 

Legosi closed his eyes, trying to breathe slow.

 

Bill was just watching, listening silently. 

 

Legosi tried to look at the tiger. He managed to glance at Bill’s shirt. The wolf went on.

 

Louis interpreted, “Sorry. I’m getting off topic. I was with my friend, Jack, when it happened. His mom and my grandpa took us to the city. It was a play date or something. We visited different places. I saw - an insect house? Insectarium. I was really excited about that. We stopped for lunch, and had a table outside in the sun. Jack’s mom hurt her ankle though, so we were going to rest there a bit…” 

 

“…But we were kids. We had a lot of energy. They let us run around a little. I remember we saw a cricket. I was still really happy. I’ve always liked insects. We hopped after it a bit, not very far, just a few meters. Grandpa, Jack’s mom, they only looked away for a moment. But … that’s all it took…”

 

“…Everything happened really fast then. It’s kind of blurry. There was … some kind of metallic noise. Something got hit, or fell over, I don’t know. A garbage can maybe, or a dumpster. I don’t remember it all. But we looked up from the cricket, down this … dirty alley. It was like the alleys we got lost in yesterday. There was this tiger - smaller than you, but still adult. They were drooling like crazy, and wrestling on the ground with … a ram or something. I forget. I think they were woolly. The ram was trying to fight the tiger off, but it was a losing battle. The ram was on his back…”

 

“…Jack moved first. He saw someone in trouble and he didn’t even hesitate. I did. I was scared, but I followed. Jack ran right at the tiger, tried to hit him and punch him, but what could he do? We were five, trying to fight a crazed, adult carnivore. It was stupid of us to try. The tiger hit him so hard, Jack hit a wall, and it knocked him out…” 

 

“…I remember … yelling, or screaming, or something. I forget. I jumped at him. I’ve always been big for my age, but I don’t think I could have done much of anything regardless. The ram was fighting so desperately, they just wanted to live, even as the tiger clawed them up bloodier and bloodier. So I just grabbed one of his arms as tight as I could. I remember him punching at me, trying to throw me off, hearing my grandpa yelling as he ran towards us. I still had the tiger’s arm. I think I was too scared to let go. The ram wasn’t letting the tiger bite him, so…”

 

“…the tiger bit me instead. I have this … snap shot in my brain, like a picture, but worse, cause the other senses are there, too. I can remember the feel of his teeth going through my throat. I can remember the smell of his drool. I still do smell it, sometimes. I remember going limp, and seeing my blood just … flying, in slow motion…”

 

“…Things get fuzzier there. Grandpa dealt with him, somehow. I should have just … died. Grandpa told me when I was older, I technically was dead for a little while. The only reason I didn’t stay that way, is cause of where it happened. The hospital was a block away. Grandpa ran us straight there. I had seconds. I was … lucky that way. I don’t know how the doctors saved me. Something about my arteries, and Grandpa. Because I’m different or something. I don’t know. It was weird. I never really wanted to talk about it…”

 

“…I should have lost my life. Instead, I just lost my voice - and, I guess, I’ve lost my mental health now. So, that’s the story. PTSD. Apparently, it’s why I’ve been freaking out lately, over blood, and over … your fangs. A lot of people’s fangs, actually - but it’s why I hit your face so bad the night of the play. And kicked you yesterday. I’m sorry about that. I’m sorry about everything…”  

 

“…And we’ve all been content to pretend nothing actually happened in Adler , but something did. For a minute there, on stage, I wasn’t fighting you. I was fighting the other guy. That … felt really good. But then I felt really bad, cause I disagree with you, but you probably didn’t deserve all that either…”

 

Legosi sighed so heavily.

 

“…I don’t know how to judge you, Bill. Not fairly. I don’t agree with your choices, but you’re a real tiger, and I’m a broken wolf. My body is a lot more messed up than I thought. Maybe my brain just wants you to be him, so I have a ‘win’. I don’t know. But my instincts have compelled me to hurt you twice already, and I’m not going to gamble on a third time. So, effective immediately, I’m quitting the drama club - wait, you’re what?!”

 

Louis finally snapped out of it, like he’d been in a trance, sadness replaced with alarm. He looked straight at the wolf’s tired eyes as if expecting a different answer.

 

Legosi repeated firmly, [I’m quitting. I need to quit.]

 

Louis rejected that, “No, you’re not quitting! You don’t need to quit because of - the trauma or illness or whatever it is! You’re a part of the drama club now!”

 

Bill was subdued and serious, “Legosi, I - I get it, I do. After going through something like that - shit, I don’t even know what I’d do - or how I'd be. But I’m over Adler already, I swear. You made it a better show! We did something great together. We’re carnivores, you know? Sometimes we just gotta fight it out of our system. You don’t have to worry about me. You don’t have to quit the club.”

 

The wolf shook his head. He pointed at Louis to translate for Bill. 

 

Louis was significantly more distressed as he relayed, “It’s not just about Bill being a tiger. I already thought this through. The club is really stressful and demanding. Everyone has really high expectations. The club got that special award and everything. I love theater, and I’ve made a lot of friends here, but if stress has already screwed up my brain this bad, then staying in the club isn’t healthy for me either. I don’t want to drop out of Cherryton. Not if I can help it. I think I need to focus on getting better for a while. That’s all.”

 

Louis and Bill were both looking defeated - like it was a repeat of their moment on stage with Legosi, as if it was Adler again.

 

Bill fussed with his hands, like he wanted to gesture something but was stopping himself. 

 

Bill began softly, “Then … I wish you luck, Legosi. I hope you feel better soon.” The tiger shrugged, trying to sound hopeful, “Who knows? Maybe you could join us again in a few months. PTSD or not, you really can put on a great performance! I still kind of want you to show me how to do some of those crazy moves.”

 

Legosi forced a smile, [Yeah. Okay.]

 

Bill offered a hand in simple camaraderie. Legosi hesitated for a second, before he shook it. 

 

Bill took a few more steps away, and was almost out the door before he turned back. Bill offered, “Some of the guys were gonna play frisbee or some shit like that this weekend. I don’t really care much. I think it's Aoba and Tao, maybe Dom and a few others. …You could still join us, Legosi. If you want to hang out. No pressure.”

 

Legosi smiled weakly. [I’ll think about it.]

 

Louis interpreted. 

 

The tiger finally left. 

 

Legosi was going to follow, but Louis grabbed him by the sleeve. 

 

Louis wasn’t done.

 

Legosi blinked at him, [What’s wrong?]

 

Louis looked distraught, [You know what’s wrong! You were gone one afternoon, but apparently you fought Bill, passed out, got picked up by a doctor, and now you’re leaving the club??]

 

Legosi nodded slowly, [That’s pretty much it, yes.]

 

Louis groaned and signed larger, [ What happened ?]

 

Legosi paused. [Technically, I only ‘almost’ fought Bill. I kicked him, yeah, but that’s as far as it went. He didn’t hit back. I stopped. I ran. I didn’t want us to fight.]

 

Louis signed in concern, [What did he do? You blew up on him for drinking that vial of blood. We still don’t know who killed Tem! Do we, do we have to worry about Bill, or not?]

 

Legosi frowned a moment. […I don’t know about that. Bill was … just being Bill. He said some rude things, I got really uncomfortable, but it was nothing like Tem. He didn’t attack anybody. I attacked him. I honestly don’t even know if it was just Bill talking that affected me, yesterday or the day of the play. I told you about the alley. And I … smelled stuff.]

 

Legosi’s ears were drooping as low as they could go.

 

Louis looked at him, guarded and suspicious. […“Stuff”? Tiger stuff, or blood stuff?]

 

Legosi’s shoulders tightened and he signed a bit faster, like he was rambling. [Blood stuff. We just got really lost. It was an accident. Our phones were getting terrible reception. People were giving us directions, they told us to go this one way. I smelled … bodies, okay? Bodies, and hungry carnivores. …I guess that’s what they call getting triggered or something. I’ve only heard people use that expression as a joke, but I guess it’s been happening to me lately. My body starts reacting whether I want it to or not. It’s why I need to leave the club.]

 

Louis was looking more dire. He asked carefully, [You ended up near the back alley market, didn’t you?]

 

The wolf winced. He looked down. [I swear, none of us actually meant to be anywhere near there. We just got really lost and people gave us bad directions.]

 

Louis started to pace a little bit. 

 

Legosi was almost looking scared. [Please don’t harass the guys about it. Don’t punish them. It was an accident. I don’t want them to think I’m turning them in, or snitching, or something like that. I’m the one who freaked out, not them. I have text messages on my phone, I can show you: they tried to find me after I ran away, but I passed out and a doctor picked me up.]

 

Louis signed back flatly, [You smelled bloody meat and you panicked?]

 

Weakly, the wolf shrugged, [Y-yeah, I guess so… It was just a lot, okay? I got really overwhelmed. The doctor said it was the PTSD.]

 

Louis paced back and forth several times more. 

 

Legosi was confused, [Why are you so upset? I thought you’d be happy we weren’t involved with that market.]

 

Louis squeezed his eyes and groaned again. [I’m never happy. I mean, no, I am glad, it’s good you guys didn’t eat anything. I - I just thought we had a good thing going, and now you’re leaving the club. If you were going to quit, I thought you’d at least tell me ahead of time, instead of dropping it on me the same time as Bill!]

 

The wolf just tilted his head, stared harder, [That’s what’s bothering you? I’ll still see you in class every day. We barely spent time together in the club as is.]

 

Louis stopped moving. He grimaced hard, then apologized, [Sorry! I’m sorry! That sounded stupid and self-centered again. …I just, I didn’t expect this. I thought things were going better since Adler . I’ve … liked talking with you more, the last few weeks. That’s all. …But you have much bigger things to concern yourself with, you don’t need to worry about me being childish. I’m an idiot.] Louis took a deeper breath to calm himself. He asked sincerely, […Is there anything I can do to help you?]

 

Legosi wearily shook his head, [I don’t really know yet. I emailed the school nurse about it. I’m supposed to see a doctor, and probably a therapist. Then … I guess I’ll find out more then…]

 

Louis swallowed. [Good. That’s a good plan. …So, I guess I’ll … see you in class tomorrow? And, I’m sorry, if I sounded like a jerk again. I swear, I’m trying to do better. To be a better person.]

 

Legosi gave a small smile. [I can tell, okay? You don’t need to beat yourself up for me. …And, yeah … I’ll see you in class…]

 

The wolf walked slowly out of the room, leaving Louis alone in the office. 

……

Louis’ stupid emotions were accelerating along with his beating chest, and he didn’t like that. There was so much he suddenly didn’t like about this day. 

 

Louis berated himself constantly through the club hours, for being such a dick, for not seeing this coming, for not insisting he go along with Legosi to the city - devourings be damned.

 

Louis had to rethink his options, come up with a real plan on how to proceed, emotionally. No stupid meat temptation plans - something real, something workable. For that, there was really only one person he could talk to: he needed to see Haru again. 

 

Well … she basically said, she wanted to see me more anyway.

 

Midway through drama club, he sent her a text, {Can we talk in person again today? Soon? It’s important.}

 

Haru replied fairly fast, {Yeah, sure. I’ll still be up in the garden for a few hours, but you probably knew that.}

 

She ended the message with a smiley face. 

 

Louis wasn’t sure how to feel about that.

 

Louis finished his afternoon work with the drama club in a hurry, then promptly ran over and up the stairwell.

 

He started calling out for her as soon as he had the door open to the garden club, “Haru! Haru, where are you? I need to talk to you! Haru? It’s about Lego -”

 

Legosi stepped around one of the rooftop’s dividing walls. The wolf was wearing an old gardener’s smock and holding a big bag of plant food.

 

“Lego - Legumes!” Louis changed the word. “Legumes! Legosi. You’re here! …Um, where’s Haru?”

Chapter 16: The legume emergency

Summary:

Wires get crossed.

At least Legosi knows how to force a smile.

Conviction .

 

The word finally popped into Louis’ mind.

 

Is that the word for it?

 

What a stupid reason to like someone. 

 

What was it about Legosi’s emotional honesty that was so endearing? That made Louis want to, to hug him or kiss him or try to make everything better? Somehow. 

 

Louis didn’t even know how. He wanted to wave a magic wand and fix it all up for him. He wished he knew how to throw money at this problem. 

 

Haru was right: Louis had to acknowledge that he was, for some strange reason, attracted to all that - a certain display of will, or strength of self. 

 

Strength even in the face of pain and sadness? Was that it?

 

It was confusing.

 

Louis kept his pain hidden in the bottom of his shoe. He couldn’t afford to let anyone see it. 

 

Legosi had an energy about him, just waiting below the surface. Was it a carnivore thing? It was hard for Louis to put it into words, but Louis knew it when he saw it. It pulled him in. It drew him. It was like gravity, or magnetism.

 

Despite everything Legosi had gone through, there were still these moments when Legosi’s strength blinded Louis to everything else. 

 

How painful was it, for Legosi to actually talk through all that?

 

How much worse did I make it?

 

It must have been so hard.

 

Louis first saw the wolf’s intensity in Adler . The whole audience saw it, and they loved it. Louis loved it, too. Now Legosi was leaving the drama club, but - somehow - that crystallized Louis’ feelings?

 

It made Louis want him more.

 

Louis hated having feelings. He wished he could be a robot like his father, just a good little data processor - able to define everything with numbers.

 

Legosi needed to put himself first, to prioritize his physical and mental health. Some healing only works that way, Louis understood that. He had to do that, too - way back when. Maybe he forgot to stop.

 

And Haru was probably right about something else, too: if even the scent of blood and meat affected Legosi so? Yeah, he probably was safe to be around after all, carnivore or not. 

 

The ‘safest apex predator.’ It belonged in a book of records. Louis wanted to scoff at it. Or laugh at it. It wasn’t supposed to be funny.

 

Hell, Legosi is probably safer with me than another wolf like Juno. I don’t have fangs to upset him. 

 

“Lego - Legumes!” Louis stammered his wording as he stared at the wolf in the garden. “Legumes! Legosi. You’re here! …Um, where’s Haru?”

 

Legosi looked at him in muted surprise and confusion. Then he shifted the heavy bag of plant food to one arm so he could point towards the club office. He tried to sign, [She’s getting a drink from the club room. She’s probably a good choice for your … legume problem?]

 

Yeah, that was a terrible lie and they both knew it.

 

Louis felt his shoulders stiffen and his blood race a bit faster. He signed [thanks] just as quickly.

 

Legosi walked over to a different part of the garden, to distribute more of the plant food. 

 

Louis hurried to the club room, opened the glass door, then shut it hard behind him. 

 

He pushed the blinds - mostly - shut. 

 

He tried to keep quiet, “Haru. Haru, what the fuck? Why is Legosi here?”

 

The rabbit raised a brow as she finished her drink. “He asked to join the garden club. Why? What’s bugging you?”

 

Louis sounded upset, and kept his voice soft, like it was secret, “Legosi quit the drama club.”

 

Haru nodded, “Yeah, he said it was too stressful. Heh, since you’re the reigning king, that only makes sense. Conveniently, we’re more laid back over here.”

 

Louis repeated sarcastically, “Laid back.”

 

The rabbit glared, “I already told you, he’d been coming to help me every so often anyway. He figured he’d make it official.”

 

Louis fussed, “But - you don’t even know any sign!”

 

Haru smirked as terribly and mischievously as she could. She slowly motioned, [I - sign - little.]

 

Louis complained, “That’s cheating!”

 

Haru snorted, “Oh please. This isn’t some game! I told you, he writes me little messages on his phone. Legosi hasn’t been feeling well for a while and he needs something calmer. This is about him. The garden helps relax him.”

 

Louis grit his teeth and started pacing again. “Shit shit shit, I’m still being self-centered! How do I fucking stop?!”

 

Haru set her cup aside and whispered, “Louis. This is not a big thing. Don’t make it one.”

 

Louis deflected, “Does he know about us?”

 

Haru just shrugged, “Eh, not that he’s told me. Technically, I haven’t had any of my other ‘friends’ up here for a while either. Is that why you’re here? I could give him an errand, he’d probably pick me up something if I asked.”

 

Louis said, upset but quiet, “No. I’m up here because he told me what happened to his neck. He had me translate the story for him. He said he had to quit, and, I think you’re right. He said he smelled blood and meat, and it completely freaked him out. He had a panic attack or something. He - he might not ever eat meat in his entire life! He’s - safe ! I don’t have a plan, I don’t know what to do! I can’t afford to like him!”

 

Haru started gently, “Louis. I’m saying this as your friend. You - are stupid rich. You can afford a lot.”

 

The red deer groaned under his breath, and fell onto the bed. 

 

Haru patted him on the arm. “Louis, have you tried, perhaps … telling him how you feel?”

 

Louis mumbled, “Witchcraft. Heresy. Sounds fake.”

 

Haru insisted, “I’m serious! If you’re really that messed up about it, the sooner you deal with these emotions, the better it’ll be. You have to process them! Talk to him. Or don’t talk to him. Either way, your feelings are about you, not him. You can’t plot your way out of feelings, Louis. You can’t conspire into love. Either things happen or they don’t.”

 

Louis scoffed, “Shows what you know. People do that stuff all the time. It’s high school.”

 

Haru grabbed the pillow and smacked him with it, “Fine! Believe what you want, but Legosi has been hurt too many times in his life already! No schemes! I won’t listen to any more stupid plans to screw with him! Unlike us, Legosi is actually a good person! He doesn’t deserve high school shit!”

 

Louis looked wounded. Those words legitimately hurt. He spoke softer, “Sorry. You’re right. It’s not the time for sarcasm or humor.” The deer sighed heavily. “…Technically … you’re both good people. I’m the only one who’s not. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

 

The rabbit was only a little appeased. She complained, “You were thinking your future was already written, with that doe and your dad. You were thinking how badly it could go, and not how good it might be. …But we are complicated people, Louis! Our lives are going to be messy! I don’t want to inflict that on him either! He deserves better than either one of us!”

 

The red deer’s gaze slowly intensified as he caught a thread of the conversation, a piece of subtext he’d been missing before. 

 

He whispered sympathetically, “Haru…?”

 

The rabbit grumbled, “What?”

 

Louis started softly, “I thought you were just messing with me the other day. I thought you were teasing me because I liked him. Do you … have a crush on Legosi, too?”

 

Haru looked grumpier. “Legosi is a good guy. He should get to have a good life.”

 

Louis insisted, “That wasn’t what I asked.”

 

Haru was sharp, “Louis, knock it off! Don’t pretend you actually want to hear about my feelings!”

 

Louis stayed quiet. “I do. I’m - trying to be a better person. I’m trying not to be so self-centered. You’re my friend. I should learn how to listen to you.”

 

Haru complained loudly, “I told you, we don’t get to decide our feelings! You want to listen? Fine! You’re rich and powerful, a gorgeous-looking, Beastar-to-be! I’m a dwarf rabbit, unimportant, a dime a dozen! In what universe would anyone pick me over you? In what universe are we anything but friends with benefits? I’m glad this isn’t a game, Louis! Because we both know … if it was, you were always going to win it! Legosi is right there, alone and desperate for someone to reach out to him, to care about him. And you and I actually do! But you’re letting your distant dad steamroll your life choices!”

 

Louis was feeling smaller. He still cut in, “You don’t know what my dad is like.” 

 

Haru snapped, yelled loudest, “I can’t even talk to him the way you can, and even I can tell just how special and amazing he is! But why should I care what you do?! It’s not like I was ever going to matter that much for you either, marriage boy! You were perfectly fine locking our relationship away in this room! He shows up and suddenly you’re freaking out about everything! …How do you think that makes me feel?! I’m just a good fuck for you, and that’s it! I know that!! But I’m tired of it, Louis! I’m tired of being people’s fuck or being people’s baby! He looks at me like I amaze him, just for being me! That may be your status quo, but for me, it's a breath of fresh air!!”

 

She turned away, fists clenched, holding on to a feeling of disgust - and unsure if it was directed at Louis or herself. 

 

The red deer moved carefully up behind her, wrapping his arms around her in a single, gentle hug. He nestled his head alongside hers.

 

Haru grumbled, “I’m not kissing you. Don’t even try.”

 

Louis said sincerely, quietly, “I wasn’t planning to. I’m apologizing. You are not ‘just a good fuck’. But I am just an idiot. A big, stupid, ridiculous idiot, and sometimes I can’t even see past my own nose. I’m still trying to work on that. I’m selfish and self-centered by nature, and you are so much smarter than I. You’re both good people. I mean it. You deserve each other. I don’t deserve either one of you, I’m a disaster. So let’s … change the script? We can change the operation, brainstorm a new plan, get that sexy piece of male wolf into your bed instead.”

 

Haru turned around in his hug, just so she could cross her arms at him. She questioned, “Is everything a plot with you?”

 

The red deer gave her a big smile. “You aren’t. …And, on a slightly related note, I think you’re right, we can confirm I’m attracted to conviction - because standing up for yourself right now is making me want you a lot.”

 

Haru sighed as loudly as possible, shaking her head at him. “I should have known you were bisexual sooner. You’re way too dramatic to be straight.”

 

Louis leaned in slowly, and when she didn’t pull away, he gave her a single, affectionate kiss. He wondered, playfully, “Maybe you just turned me bi after we had all that great sex.”

 

Haru scoffed, “Yes, of course. I ruined you for women, you’ll never find another female who can satisfy you like me. Only a huge male carnivore could compete.”

 

Louis agreed, “Makes perfect sense.”

 

Haru and Louis mutually leaned in, to share another, longer kiss. It started out simple and loving, and built up steam into a stronger moment of passion - of grasping arms and closed eyes.

 

*

 

Oh…  

 

With the blinds only mostly shut, Legosi stopped approaching the glass door. He didn’t try to knock after all.

 

They were busy kissing. So Legosi left, unnoticed. 

……

Legosi brushed the dirt off his hands as best he could. Then he tried washing them clean with a garden hose. He would have used the sink inside the club room, but Louis and Haru were probably still making out in there. Or something else. 

 

I should have realized this sooner. It’s clear they’d be together, they’re both amazing. They’d be so good for each other.

 

Legosi had already figured out what kind of scents were on that bed, but it didn’t matter before.

 

Legosi had no illusions of romantic importance in their lives. 

 

Haru and Louis can have sex with anyone they want, even each other. Especially each other. I’m just their friend after all.

 

Just a friend. 

 

Legosi wasn’t sure why that thought hurt.

 

The wolf felt his heart rate speeding up a bit - albeit, strangely?

 

It didn’t feel like a panic attack per se, but after yesterday, he was trying to keep aware of his body, keep being cautious. 

 

He double checked the emergency medicine in his pocket, which had gone unused so far. He didn’t want to use it unless he really needed it.

 

Trying to explain things to Bill and Louis had certainly been hard enough already. 

 

Legosi had heard Haru starting to yell about - something.

 

He got worried, and came a little closer, but he couldn’t tell what she was saying exactly. It was just loud enough, but not understandable. He couldn’t make out what Louis was saying back either. 

 

They must have been arguing about something, relationship drama.

 

Legosi could only make a loose guess.

 

That was definitely not a ‘first kiss’ he accidentally saw. 

 

The wolf exhaled softly as he left the garden rooftop, taking the stairs down to anywhere. He needed to take a walk, give himself some space, and process it.

 

Oh. That’s probably why Louis was so upset about me quitting the drama club. He didn’t want me joining Haru’s club.

 

Wait.

 

Brain, wait. That doesn’t even make sense. I didn’t even tell him I was joining her club, just that I was quitting his.

 

Unless he already knew? Maybe Haru told him I’d been hanging out with her, and he put it together the moment I mentioned quitting.

 

That’s … still a stretch. Ugh. 

 

Why do I even care? So they’re together. It’s not like this affects me. They’re both my friends, nothing has actually changed. I just know they’re kissing now. Kissing, and probably … other things.

 

Legosi reflected on the memory again, seeing them kiss through the small opening of the blinds.  

 

It had been an accident. He wasn’t spying. He was just worried when she started yelling about - something. Whatever it was.

 

He kept getting worried, when he heard yelling. 

 

I’m not surprised they didn’t notice me. They were focused on each other. For obvious reasons. 

 

That’s what I want, really: to not be noticed. To just be around. 

 

I’m okay with that. I like that.

 

Legosi gave another soft, breathy sigh to himself. He wished he could have understood what she was yelling about. Maybe if he did, he wouldn’t have worried, wouldn’t have come over, and wouldn’t have seen the way they embraced. 

 

This is probably a good thing. I can be bothered by something like this, my friends making out. That’s a step up, from not caring about my classes all day. 

 

It isn’t like I’m freaking out or losing control, like I did with blood and fangs and Bill. This is fine. I’m doing fine.

 

Legosi trailed his hand along the staircase railing.

 

It’s not like … I wanted more or something …

 

Tending to the garden is good for me. Hanging out with either of them is good for me. I like talking with both of them individually. 

 

I just didn’t know they were together. 

 

I should … not say anything about it, of course. 

 

Maybe they’re trying to hide it, because it’s an interspecies thing. I know that was hard on grandpa. Maybe that’s why I’ve never seen them together. 

 

That’s probably it. Neither of them mentioned anything like this to me. The garden club room could be their only escape.

 

Yeah. That makes sense. They’re keeping it secret. They’d worry about how I’d react, they don’t know about grandpa. I should keep it secret, too.

 

I’ll keep it to myself. They don’t need to know I know, that’d just make it more awkward for them. I’ll be good and quiet and I won’t make waves. 

 

I used to be good at that, at just helping people, at not drawing the wrong attention to myself. 

 

I learned how to force a smile a long time ago. I can force a smile for them now. 

 

The wolf who beats up carnivores isn’t who I am or who I wanted to be. So this is … just being myself again.

 

Legosi’s phone beeped at him that he received a text. He pulled his phone from his pocket, and glanced down at the message on the screen.

 

Haru had written, {Are you okay? Where’d you go?}

 

Legosi made up an excuse, {I just remembered an errand, sorry. I didn’t want to bother you with it.}

 

Haru texted again, {Oh, ok. Are you coming back soon?}

 

The wolf stopped walking. His thumbs hovered over his phone’s keypad. 

 

He started writing {Maybe not today,} but he didn’t like that phrase. It sounded too open-ended. He deleted it without sending, then said instead, {Sorry. I’m not sure how long this will take. You’ll have the garden to yourself. I’ll see you tomorrow?}

 

Yeah. That’s good. Louis and Haru can have the time to themselves. I’ll just … make myself scarce. Yeah.

 

Legosi decided to take his emergency medicine from Gouhin, to cut off a potential panic attack.

 

I’d just be a third wheel, no one likes those.

 

They wouldn’t want me around. And that’s … okay.

Chapter 17: The work, the lamp, and five years

Summary:

Touch nothing but the lamp ...

Legosi needs to open up, one way or another.

It was his third therapy session, but Legosi had more trouble maintaining eye contact today than the last two visits. Considering he was signing with his Deaf therapist, this was a bit problematic. 

 

The whole issue with Louis and Haru had unsettled a part of himself, and Legosi didn’t know how to fit it back inside or where.

 

Legosi had to admit, [I don’t even know where to start today. I know there are a lot of things I do want to talk about. I just don’t know how. I feel even more twisted up today than I did last week.]

 

Kerry the dalmatian paused for a moment. [Well, we were discussing your difficulties at school last week. But it can be pretty important for us to address whatever is immediately going on in your life. If something bad is happening right now, then it’s harder to work on other things. So, tell me what’s going on for you now.]

 

Legosi slouched in the admittedly comfy chair. [Do you have any more of those worksheets, like last time? The papers to read?] 

 

Kerry began, [Yes … but I’m not sure that’s the answer right now. You said you don’t know where to start. So why don’t we try a thought experiment? Sometimes those help to loosen the gears, get the words flowing. Let’s say … we have a magic lamp!]

 

Legosi huffed. [I don’t have one of those.]

 

The dalmatian bounced with a weird laugh, [Me neither! But that’s why it’s a thought experiment. It helps us process things differently, shake our point of view. Go with me for a moment. Say we had a magic lamp. You had as many wishes as you wanted. Tell me how your life would be different - five years from now.]

 

The wolf frowned. [Five years?]

 

It sounded awfully specific.

 

The dog got out a pad of paper, [Five years. I’ll take notes for you.]

 

Legosi was still looking a bit grumpy. […I’d fix my throat first. Then I could actually talk to people. Then I could be normal.]

 

Kerry didn’t challenge that. He asked, [Who would you talk to?]

 

Legosi signed immediately, [Louis. Haru. Jack and my roommates. Dom and Aoba. I mean, I guess I do talk to them already. Sort of. Just, not easily. Not with a real voice.]

 

The dog acknowledged, [It’s still a valid wish. I’d probably fix my ears for the same reason. What else?]

 

Legosi’s attention drifted to one side of the therapist’s office, decorated with fake flowers. Legosi remembered, [I thought of working with insects when I was younger. But that was always just … a kid dream. I never really put any stock in it. I like working in the garden with Haru though. That’s marketable. I don’t know if people go to college for flowers. I guess botany is a thing?]

 

Kerry questioned, [Why not do both?]

 

The wolf frowned. [How would I work with insects and flowers?]

 

The dog shrugged, [I don’t know yet. But that wasn’t the question. If you had a magic lamp, and it was five years from now: would you want to work with insects, or flowers, or both?]

 

Legosi’s eyes trailed across the fake flowers. He could name most of them now, after spending the last few weeks in the garden with Haru.

 

Legosi signed small, [Both, I guess. I like them both. They’re both a part of me now. If I didn’t have them both, I’d feel like I was missing something.]

 

Kerry didn’t comment if that sounded important.

 

Kerry asked instead, [If you had magic, would you want to go to college for those?]

 

Legosi grimaced. [I don’t know. High school is hard enough right now.]

 

[It certainly is.] The dog still wondered, [What if it wasn’t hard?]

 

Legosi glanced around the room as he did more thinking. The therapist certainly had a lot of books around. Legosi wondered if he actually read all of them, or if they were for show, or for clients to borrow. [If I had magic? …I do enjoy learning. But for me, to enjoy it, that usually means by myself, or with one other person. Like Louis, or Haru. When I’m at Cherryton, most of the teachers make me feel like I’m being ‘talked at,’ not ‘talked to’.]

 

The dog stated, [That’s fair. I certainly experienced some culture shock, when I went from a Deaf school to a mainstream university. What about your living arrangements? What do you imagine?]

 

Legosi felt disappointed with that mental image. [In five years, I’ll probably only have an apartment.]

 

Kerry reminded, [Even if you had a magic lamp?]

 

Legosi added that aspect to the mix. [I suppose, ideally, I’d have a little house of my own. It doesn’t need to be big. I don’t need much space. It’d probably just be me and my partner. Though … I think I’d like a garden of my own. I’m really enjoying that with Haru. Gardening after class makes me feel good. It’d be nice, surrounding the house with flowers and plants.]

 

Kerry nodded along. [That sounds like a nice mental image. I’m certainly fond of a few flowers myself. So who is your partner, in this magic future? You haven’t yet called someone a girlfriend or a boyfriend.]

 

The wolf frowned again. [Why do people keep putting it like that?]

 

Kerry tilted his head. [Which part do you mean?]

 

Legosi quoted, [‘A girlfriend or a boyfriend.’ I mean, I’m a guy. I’ll have a wife. Probably. Eventually. …Maybe.]

 

The dalmatian just asked, [Have other people assumed you want a boyfriend?]

 

Legosi was looking unhappy. [No. Well. Sort of. Bill - the tiger guy I mentioned our first session - he wanted to hook me up with a girl wolf in drama club. So I’d have sex with someone. When I wasn’t interested, he was going to hook me up with a male wolf instead. The other guys started getting in on it, too. It became this big unpleasant thing. I just don’t have sexual urges like that. I like people, but I don’t care about sex with them. Aoba thought I might be asexual or demisexual or something like that.]

 

Kerry asked without emotion, [What do you think you are?] 

 

Legosi sighed heavily. [I wish I knew.]

 

Kerry offered, [Then … what feels natural, when you think of your life five years from now?]

 

Legosi tried to conjure that image up for himself. He tried to think of a female wolf, maybe like Juno - but he never really cared about any of the wolves he saw in biology hours. He still tried to imagine waking up beside one, having meals while he read the news, coming back home after work to watch TV together…

 

It felt sterile. Like he was looking at some old television sitcom, with real life scrubbed off the film. 

 

A male wolf didn’t help the image. He tried to imagine one, if that would even work for him. For some reason, Legosi automatically thought of them acting like Bill: pushy, a little rude, and always really close. Being affectionate wasn’t bad (Legosi only liked certain people being affectionate), but this image didn’t feel right either. 

 

He tried to shift his thoughts, to combine the two: a male wolf, sharing meals, waking up together… 

 

It isn’t ‘wrong.’ Nothing about it feels bad. But it doesn’t feel ‘right’ for me either.

 

What actually feels … natural?

 

Legosi had some ideas.

 

He just didn’t feel like he should say them out loud.

 

Natural wasn’t supposed to be messy. 

 

Right?

 

Legosi huffed softly. […It’s going to sound weird.]

 

The dalmatian encouraged him, [Then let it sound weird. Most things are weird, if you look at them from a certain angle. Normalcy is just a matter of exposure. Legosi, as a therapist, part of what I do is providing you with tools, and part of it is providing perspective… We process things together. Whether you think it sounds weird - whether you like it or dislike it - I can only truly help you if you’re willing to talk it through with me. We don’t have to rush, if you’re not ready. We go at your pace. Just know: I will talk through it with you, no matter how weird you think it sounds. No judgement.]

 

Legosi wanted to grumble at his mixed-up feelings. He didn’t know how to remove the judgement from his own head.

 

Legosi ended up signing in slow motion, [What feels natural, in my future … I think that’s Louis, or Haru… I don’t know how that works. Or why. They’re not wolves. They’re not even canids or carnivores. It’s not that I even want to have sex with them or something like that. When I think of five years from now, of what feels ‘natural’ … I still think of going to classes with Louis, and gardening with Haru. It feels weird, thinking of the future without having either of them in my life. Like, they’re supposed to be in my life - the both of them. Being with them makes me happy. That sounds weird, right? Doesn’t that sound weird?]

 

Kerry offered, [Maybe you’re only attracted to herbivores.]

 

[Wait - that’s a thing?] Legosi’s ears perked up, but his eyebrows stayed furrowed. 

 

The dalmatian had a slight smile at his lips. [Yes. While politics may pander to same-species couples, many people experience attraction across species lines at one point or another in their lives. Like the difference between heterosexuality and homosexuality, it may not be the most common, but it still occurs quite frequently. It also sounds more common in your generation than mine, but that might just be exposure thanks to the internet. Sexuality, in general, does not fit well in tiny boxes…]

 

[…Sexuality is better expressed as falling across a spectrum. Multiple spectrums even. Asexuality, demisexuality - they’re a part of that, too. But however you describe yourself, it can be good to continually reassess your sexuality throughout your life. Some people claim that sexual experimentation is just a teenage phase. That is wrong. I know many middle-aged fellows who only then realized their attraction to another person. I’ve had an old lady realize she’s romantically attracted to a woman - while she was sitting in the same chair you’re in now.]

 

Legosi was frowning. His brain still felt off-balance. [But … there was something about ‘loving feelings’ being influenced by PTSD, right? I’m pretty sure I read something about that. Not having them or something. What if it’s just the PTSD? What if the only reason I like Louis or Haru is because they don’t have fangs?]

 

The dalmatian returned the question, [Is that the only reason?]

 

The wolf fussed with his fingers. [No… I like them because … they care for me. They talk with me. They spend time with me. They make time, to talk with me. And that matters to me.]

 

Kerry asked, [What about your friend, Jack? Or the eagle, or the peafowl?]

 

Legosi shifted awkwardly on that thought. [I like them. I do see Jack always being in my life. But … I feel … that’s different somehow. I don’t know why. Jack’s been in my life as long as I can remember. He listens, too, but I feel like I can’t tell him everything anymore. Aoba and Dom are my friends, but not … not like Louis or Haru. Maybe it is cause they’re herbivores. But it’s all a moot point anyway! Louis and Haru are together. Even if I just liked one of them, they’re already dating each other. I can’t get between that. I don’t want to ruin either of their happiness for my own. Nobody likes a third wheel!]

 

[Of course they do,] the old dalmatian gave an incorrigible grin. 

 

Legosi made a serious face.

 

Kerry started, [First off, you aren’t a wheel. None of you are wheels. You’re people. Metaphors for people that are based on objects will inherently fail at some point. People are emotionally and socially complicated - inanimate objects are not. Secondly, the threesome is a common sexual fantasy, even for a couple in an otherwise monogamous relationship. This is not to say everyone secretly wants two partners - simply that it is much more common than you might imagine…]

 

Legosi certainly had trouble imagining sex, period. Maybe that was part of the difficulty for his brain. Louis and Haru were most definitely not wheels, and Legosi suddenly felt mad at himself for ever even using that analogy. Louis and Haru were both complicated people, emotionally and socially - Legosi didn’t even need to date them to know that. He spent so much time with them both, and he had learned so many little pieces of their lives already.

 

Louis and Haru are actually living, unlike me.

 

Kerry added, [Thirdly, the monogamous breeding pair? An untold amount of relationships have defied that model throughout history. An argument could even be made that alternative relationships are necessary for species survival, to adopt orphaned youths. Some people in power try to cover it up, to erase it, often in pursuit of a personal agenda. A ‘moral highground’ perhaps. Polyamory is much more common in your generation than mine, but we didn’t create it either. It goes back into the ages - which is not to say it is an easy relationship to have. Every relationship will be complicated - they just are, by nature - because people are complicated. And that is true whether we are discussing something romantic, or platonic…]

 

That was definitely not covered in Cherryton history classes.

 

Beastbook had given Legosi a few ideas. Every so often someone would share a story, about some person or other and their taboo love tale - of fearless women adopting kids together, or men who weren’t “just roommates.”

 

Gosha had to obscure his relationships at times - far too often in Legosi’s opinion. But an interspecies love story could get you in hot water even now. Legosi understood that. Gosha still had to be careful about where he went with his family.

 

The textbooks Legosi had to read for class? They only brought up interspecies love when it was about someone’s affair or a couple’s tragedy, like there was no chance for a happy ending if you didn’t follow a specific guideline. For breeding. 

 

It wasn’t fair.

 

Kerry still made a point of warning him, [I can’t guarantee things would work out for you with them. I can’t guarantee how things would go at all. The future is always changing. That’s not bad, but it is a risk. You are the only person who can decide if this is a risk worth taking for them. But relationships are important to life - and to have a good, healthy relationship, you must communicate how you actually feel. People need people, whether we are carnivore or herbivore or something in between. You could talk to Louis, or Haru, or both, or neither! That part is, technically, secondary…] 

 

[…This is about you, Legosi, and your own feelings. You need to communicate with the people who matter to you. I don’t mean with a spoken voice, or in sign. A text or a note could work just as well. It’s about the content of your speech. There’s a reason people write love letters. What you want most in your life, you will not suddenly wake up and have as if by magic. But if you can look at your future, and you can imagine yourself happy - going to classes with Louis, gardening with Haru - then that’s the future you need to work towards.]

 

Legosi signed small, [But they wouldn’t even like me like that. I’m - dumb. I’m a wolf.]

 

The dalmatian asked gently, [Did they actually say something like that?] 

 

Legosi fussed with his hands. […No. Not really…]

 

Kerry kept going, [Did you actually ask them that?]

 

Legosi started looking lower. [No. Not really…] 

 

[Not really?] Kerry repeated.

 

The wolf shook his head. [I haven’t asked them that. I just - Isn’t it safe to assume?] 

 

The old dog signed it very slowly, [Is it safe to assume they won’t like you?]

 

Legosi sighed again. [Yeah. I realized what I said, right after I said it. Because … it’s easier to assume the bad stuff, right? It’s easy for the brain to focus on bad things, even when we don’t want it to. That the bad stuff can look really big inside our heads.]

 

The dalmatian agreed, [Yes. It’s called the Negativity Bias. It’s an evolutionary defense mechanism. It’s not inherently bad, but it can reach an unhealthy level. And while dealing with PTSD, the brain will want to focus even more on all those bad possibilities, bad potential futures. It wants to protect itself, and that’s normal. As much as you’ve been hurt, it only makes sense that your mind would want to avoid more bad things.]

 

Legosi recalled, [You said it was like, tunnel vision or something like that, but on the inside. …So what do I do? How do I get from here, to five years later?]

 

Kerry took a deeper breath. [The thing holding you back is not your throat. You can’t keep all these things locked inside yourself. You need to talk with people. Somehow. In some way. That’s what it will always come down to, in all of your relationships. It’s about how you express yourself to others. You need to let others into your life - and that can be scary! You’ve said before, that you don’t want to worry or concern anyone else. You don’t want to upset them. But that’s part of every relationship, Legosi. Family. Friends. Lovers. Loving means caring, and caring means being vulnerable.]

 

Legosi signed larger, [I wouldn’t even know where to start! I still don’t know where to start! My head just - doesn’t want to help me!]

 

The dalmatian stretched his fingers. [So. Let’s start with Haru.]

 

The wolf frowned. [What about her?]

 

Kerry put it methodically, [Tell me everything you like about her. What she does that makes you happy. Tell me what you want her to know. You can start simple and vague. Then we can hone in on what you most want to say to her, together. We should write it all down, so we know what we’re dealing with. That can be a very important step…] 

 

[…It’s hard for the mind to juggle a lot of thoughts at once. It’s a short-term memory limitation. I think that might be your biggest problem right now: you have so many thoughts and feelings inside, and it’s a struggle to break them down into individual ones. So, on paper, we brainstorm what you want to say to Haru. Then we can do it for Louis. Or Jack. Or your parents. We can practice talking it all over together, you and I. Okay?]

 

Legosi still looked conflicted. [Is that going to be enough?]

 

The dog tried to be reassuring. [We can figure that out together, too. But you won’t get better at it if you don’t even try. Think of it like, practicing for a play. You were in theater. How many times did you all do rehearsals?]

 

Legosi fought to remember. [A lot. A whole lot, at least a dozen times all the way through. Before that, we did the same scenes repeatedly till we had them almost perfect.]

 

Kerry smiled and turned over a fresh piece of paper. [Well then. We should start rehearsing, too.]

Chapter 18: Running behind

Summary:

Jack is getting increasingly worried at Legosi's sketchy behavior.

For a brief moment, Jack got very scared.

 

When the rest of the 701 dogs were at dinner, Legosi was nowhere to be seen. They had planned on eating together and everything. Legosi just never arrived, and he wasn’t even responding to texts. That wouldn’t have concerned Jack too much on its own, but Legosi had been acting differently the last few weeks.

 

Jack went back to their room early, just in case. 

 

That’s when he saw him.

 

Jack couldn’t help it: when he walked in and found Legosi, face down on the floor, halfway out of bed, and not moving? He panicked.

 

Jack nearly collapsed onto his knees, pushing hard at the wolf’s body, “Legosi! Legosi, wake up! Wake up! What’s wrong?!”

 

The wolf’s head jerked up with a start, bleary eyes fighting to open. Legosi got his hands underneath himself, pushing himself up onto his side. 

 

He looked at Jack in confusion, [What’s wrong? Did you need something?]

 

The yellow dog relaxed just a little, “You scared me, Legosi! You didn’t show up for dinner. Did you just … fall back asleep, trying to get out of bed?”

 

Legosi rubbed his eyes for a moment. [I guess I did… Wait, what time is it?]

 

Jack checked his phone, “A little after six, why?”

 

The wolf shot up suddenly, grabbing some of his things and shoving them in his pockets. [Sorry! I’ve got to go.]

 

The yellow dog was looking even more confused. “What? Go where? The cafeteria will still be open for a while, you don’t have to run.”

 

Legosi looked flustered, [It’s - a club thing. I don’t have time to explain, I just need to go now.]

 

The wolf fought to get his shoes on, ready to run. 

 

Jack grabbed Legosi’s arm before the wolf could leave. He asked, “What club thing?”

 

The wolf pulled his arm free to sign, [It’s a - rehearsal. For the festival. I have to go help out.]

 

Legosi tried to leave. The yellow dog grabbed him again, “No, it’s not. You’re lying.”

 

Legosi frowned, [No, I’m not. I just need to go.]

 

Jack insisted, “Why are you lying? I talked to some of the other members of the drama club! They said you quit three weeks ago! You didn’t even tell us! What’s really going on?”

 

The wolf was looking even more frustrated, [I don’t have time right now!]

 

Legosi left the room fast. 

 

It took Jack three seconds more to make up his mind, and sprint after the wolf.

 

Legosi was still moving at a brisk jog, taking several steps at a time down the stairs. 

 

Jack awkwardly hopped down the stairs after him, trying to keep up. Legosi had longer legs, did a lot more running as part of his physical training. 

 

Jack said loudly, “We’re not done talking, Legosi! You can’t keep running away from me! This isn’t like you!”

 

Legosi was still jogging, out of the building, away from the school grounds. 

 

He signed back half-heartedly, [I’m not running away from you, I’m just running towards something else! I don’t want to be late!]

 

Jack looked even more determined. “Fine! But I’m going with you, wherever you’re going! You can’t keep leaving me behind!”

 

Legosi didn’t sign anything else. The wolf jogged, Jack ran, all the way to the metro station. Jack collapsed into a seat on the train, panting for breath. Legosi was showing a bit of exertion, too, but he was used to running longer distances than this.

 

Legosi sat down next to Jack as the metro started moving.

 

Jack looked up at the wolf after a bit, with those big canid eyes. He signed while he caught his breath, [You used to tell me everything, Legosi. I don’t understand.  What’s going on? Why have you been acting so weird? And the lying? You never used to lie to me. You never used to hide anything from me.]

 

Self-consciousness and shame painted itself clearly on Legosi’s face. He breathed more heavily, but not from the run. He signed small, [I didn’t want to bother you. That’s all.]

 

Jack replied, “We’re friends, Legosi. Good friends! Caring about each other is part of the territory. You’ve never been a morning person, but you never used to fall asleep in classes, or pass out in the afternoon like this. You’ve been irritable and distracted for a while. I know it's affecting your grades. And you keep missing classes! You said it’s to see a doctor. I know you said you’ve been taking new allergy medicines, but … Legosi, I’m scared for you. Are you even going to a doctor, or are you lying about that, too? Are you … taking drugs?”

 

Legosi’s ears drooped further. [I wasn’t lying about the doctor. My absences have been excused, I swear. I have permission to leave campus right now, for medical reasons. …If you get in trouble with the dorm mother, you could tell her you came to interpret for me.]

 

Jack fussed, “I don’t care about getting in trouble with the school! I care about you! You’re still not giving me a straight answer!”

 

Legosi finally snapped, [I don’t know how! I’m trying to protect you!]

 

Jack leaned back, confused. [Me? What do you mean, protect me? I’m not the one who keeps getting sick and disappearing!]

 

Legosi grit his teeth, [I ran so I’m not late for my psychiatrist! I have PTSD! There! Are you happy?!]

 

Jack looked like he’d just been punched.

 

The dog blinked several more times, face locked in melancholy. “You have … what?”

 

Legosi spelled the letters again, slower. [PTSD.]

 

Jack swallowed hard. “…Oh.”

 

They were both silent and immobile for a while longer.

 

The metro rattled noisily on.

 

Jack was processing. “…It’s … from back then, isn’t it?” 

 

Legosi nodded once.

 

Jack repeated, “…Oh.”

 

Another moment passed.

 

Jack’s head held lower.

 

Legosi signed, [I didn’t want you to feel more guilty. You already act guilty enough.]

 

Jack questioned sincerely, “I do?”

 

Legosi hesitated, before he gave another slight nod.

 

Jack looked down a moment. He muttered, “I … didn’t realize that. I mean, yeah, I feel guilty sometimes, but … I didn’t think that’s how I came across to you.”

 

Legosi didn’t reply. He glanced aside, out the train windows. 

 

Jack asked softly, “How long has this been going on?”

 

Legosi signed, [I started showing symptoms in the weeks before Adler . But three weeks ago, that day I came back late? That’s when a doctor gave me the diagnosis.]

 

Jack remembered, “You said you guys got lost…”

 

The wolf nodded, [We did get lost. That just … wasn’t the full story. The whole afternoon was a disaster. I didn’t want to worry you.]

 

Jack answered, “I already do worry for you, whether you tell me the truth or not. But you shouldn’t have to lie to protect my feelings. I’d rather worry about the truth. Friends are supposed to support each other. I can’t do that if I don’t know what’s really going on in your life.”

 

Legosi hesitated again.

 

For a moment, he just watched the world rushing past outside the windows. Legosi finally admitted, [The club members I was with, our phones weren’t getting a good signal. We were trying to find the metro station. We got some bad directions from some locals, and we ended up really close to … the back alley market. That market. I was already feeling terrible. Then I got really upset at some stuff Bill was saying, too.]

 

Jack asked, “He’s the tiger, right? The one from the show?”

 

Legosi gave a reluctant nod. [Between him and the meat market, I started having a panic attack. I … kicked Bill. I ran. I passed out. I don’t remember it ever being that bad before. But … then things got worse. This … creepy panda doctor, he thought I killed an herbivore, because I freaked out at the market. So when I woke up … he actually … had me in chains. …I panicked again, really bad. I even threw up. He gave me a sedative, and that helped a bit, but he still interrogated me like I was a killer. Guilty until proven innocent.]

 

Jack was consumed with listening. The dog showed his emotions so very clear across his body, the raw horror and sympathy. “That all sounds so terrible, Legosi. I can’t believe you had to go through something like that…”

 

Legosi agreed, [Yeah… it was terrible … but, he realized what was actually wrong with me… He said I have PTSD, and that’s what I’ve been experiencing for the last few months. He gave me some medicine, in case I had another really bad panic attack, and then he let me go. The school helped me get in touch with a proper psychiatrist and a therapist. So I’ve started working with them.]

 

Jack seemed to realize, “The medicine you’ve been taking recently … it isn’t for allergies, is it?”

 

Legosi shook his head. [They’re supposed to help with my symptoms. But I’m still getting used to the dosage. It helps me feel calmer, but … I’ve felt a lot sleepier, too.]

 

Jack presumed, “And that’s why you’ve been falling asleep in class…”

 

The wolf gave a weary shrug. [I’ve felt, I don’t know, overstimulated - for a long while. Exhausted, because of everything going on. Drained. Everything has felt loud. So, I could just be catching up on missed sleep. I don’t know.]

 

Jack hesitated. He mumbled, “I suppose that makes sense. I guess it could be a bit of both. …What about your teachers? Do your teachers know about this?”

 

Legosi shook his head. [I have a general excuse, that there’s medical stuff I’m dealing with, but it doesn’t really go into details. I don’t want to tell them if I don’t have to. I don’t want people calling me a psycho or a “Wolf Demon” again.]

 

Jack wondered, “What about your classes with Louis? And Louis himself? Have you been having trouble with him?”

 

Legosi’s shoulders tensed. [We’re almost to my stop. I’m going to have to run to make my appointment. You can go back to Cherryton if you want, so you don’t get in trouble.]

 

Jack said firmly, “I’ll run with you. Then we can talk more on the way back.”

 

Legosi gave a small smile. [I think I’d like that…] 

…… 

Legosi was lucky, not to be late. 

 

It seemed that the mental health industry always had more people in need than people who could provide. 

 

Jack saw the doctor briefly: an older female mole. This psychiatrist was particularly important because they were fluent in sign. It made things a lot easier for the wolf, but it also meant their time was in more demand by the rest of the Deaf community.

 

Legosi and Jack waited in the psychiatrist’s lobby for a bit, before Legosi actually got to see the doctor in her office.

 

There were a number of pamphlets on mental health illnesses around the lobby. Jack was quick to read through the one about PTSD and generalized anxiety disorder. Then he took advantage of the wifi, and started looking up other articles about PTSD, about different symptoms and possible treatments. Jack read fast.

 

He got up quickly when Legosi came back out. Jack shoved his phone into his pocket and asked, [How did it go?]

 

Legosi signed back, [Fine, I think… Let’s walk and sign though. I need to stop at the pharmacy before I head back to Cherryton.] 

 

Legosi led the way to another part of the big medical complex. 

 

Jack took to following readily but asked, [What did you guys talk about? Or, should I not ask that? I don’t know what the decorum is for situations like this.]

 

The wolf measured his stride to the shorter dog. [I don’t want to tell everyone about my mental health stuff, no. But you know now. We’re talking about you, so … I could tell you.]

 

Jack was quick to say, [You don’t have to. I’m fine not knowing more. I can be here to support you, no more questions.]

 

Legosi thought for another moment. [I think I should tell you. My therapist was saying something about that the other day: that I keep too many things inside myself, even from the people who know sign. It might help me if I talk about my inside things more.]

 

Jack was still hesitant to ask, [You’ve told your mom, right? And your grandpa?]

 

Legosi winced. [No… Not exactly…]

 

Jack looked more serious, “Legosi! You need to tell them! You’re a minor! How did you even get medical services without their approval??”

 

Legosi grit his teeth, [The school nurse helped… I just … I told them I was having panic attacks again, that’s all. I left out the part about PTSD. I don’t want to worry them … which, is the same reason I wasn’t telling you. I still don’t really know how to have that conversation with them.]

 

Jack was more insistent, [Because you don’t want to bother them, or you don’t want them to feel guilty?]

 

Legosi gave a small, amused smile. [My therapist asked the same thing. I guess it’s both. Mom has her own issues. And Grandpa was with us when it happened. I don’t know how they couldn’t feel guilty about it. That day just … went so bad. So many things had to be wrong, for it to turn out that way. If we hadn’t gone to the city, if we hadn’t visited the insectarium, if we hadn’t stopped there for lunch, if we hadn’t played around after that cricket …if we hadn’t run to help…] 

 

Jack was frowning. [That’s not right, Legosi.]

 

Legosi complained, [I know it’s not right, it was terrible -]

 

[No,] Jack interrupted. [I mean, you’re wrong about it all having to go bad. Only one thing needed to go bad: the tiger didn’t control himself.]

 

Legosi was frowning, too. [Didn’t or couldn’t?]

 

Jack shook his head, [I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter. We had a good day, and we tried to help. That was a good thing. The only one responsible for the attack was the tiger himself.]

 

Legosi signed smaller, […I don’t know how to see it that way.]

 

Jack tried to give a reassuring smile, but it was hard. [To be honest, I don’t know how either… But, maybe we can work on that together. …And, I’m going to keep your secret, but you have a good family, Legosi. You’re lucky that way. Not everyone has that. I think Gosha and Leano would be like me: they’re going to worry about you anyway - they’d probably choose to worry about what’s really going on - so they can help you. I know that wouldn’t be the same for everyone, but … I think that’d be better for you, than trying to keep it all inside yourself.]

 

Legosi looked down at his shoes for a while. 

 

He eventually signed, [I don’t know how to reply to that right now. I’ll have to think about it, okay?]

 

Jack’s tail gave a very slight wag, and he nudged the wolf with his elbow. [That’s all we really can do right now. But hey! I got us way off track. You were going to say something about your doctor’s appointment?] 

 

Legosi nodded, [Yeah. We talked about the medicine I’ve been on. The doctor said some tiredness would be normal, it's common with certain meds, but I mentioned you were worried about it.]

 

Jack winced. [You didn’t have to say that. I didn’t know what was going on before…]

 

The wolf just shrugged, [I was a little worried about it, too… I don’t like falling asleep in class, or so easily. She said some people are just more sensitive to medication. She said we still have room to play around with the dosage. So, we decided to decrease it a little. I’ve been showing some improvement, so we don’t want to change medicines entirely - not yet anyway.]

 

Jack nodded along. Then something occurred to him, [Did you tell them about your grandpa?]

 

Legosi frowned at him. [What about him?]

 

Jack hesitated. [You know, that he’s … different. Would that affect how you respond to the medications?]

 

Legosi blinked a moment. [I … don’t actually remember if I told them or not. We did a blood test the other week. They said something about that being important. Something about … mental health symptoms can actually be signs of another illness in the body. They wanted to make sure my other parts are healthy, that I don’t have like, a cancer or something.]

 

[And?] Jack prodded.

 

Legosi nudged the dog, and for some reason, he was smiling. [I don’t have cancer. Just PTSD.]

 

Jack shook his head and signed small, [Just making sure. I want you to talk to me about anything. I’m going to be all ‘eyes’ from now on.]

 

Legosi ruffled the fur atop Jack’s head. [You should care about your mental health, too.]

 

Jack fussed with getting his fur back down flat, but his tail was wagging faster anyway. [Okay, fine! I will be a healthy amount of eyes and ears! And I’ll tell you if I’m stressed about my own things. Does that sound better, Legosi?]

 

Legosi gave a soft, breathy equivalent of a laugh. [That sounds better.]

 

Jack remembered later, when they were on the metro back to Cherryton. [Oh! You never mentioned Louis. I asked earlier but we forgot. How are things with him? Are things still going better, since the play?]

 

Legosi fidgeted. [Well…]

Notes:

Up next: the start of a new arc, new relationships, and things being said out loud.

Talk to your doctor about new and improved Wolf-B-Gone, now available with 35% less suffering.

Chapter 19: In memoriam

Summary:

Legosi was having a good day.

Haru turned over in the garden room’s bed to cuddle with the red deer. Both of them were in a state of undress. Louis would have enjoyed that well enough on its own, but then she said something distinctly unsexy. 

 

“Legosi knows about us.”

 

Louis shot up in bed, “Wait, what? How? When did that happen?”

 

The rabbit shrugged, “Who knows? Canid nose maybe. Maybe he saw something.”

 

Louis pressed anxiously, “Did he say something? How did this come up?”

 

Haru replied simply, “This is the third time you’ve come up to the garden since he joined. And every time, he’s had a mysterious errand to run. Once is chance. Three times? You don’t need to be a genius, Louis. He’s giving us alone time.”

 

The red deer grumbled louder. “…So what do we do? Are you still just … waiting? Giving him space?”

 

Haru had to think about it. “I honestly don’t know anymore. I didn’t want to complicate things for him, since he’s working on his mental health. The garden helps him. I don’t want to take that from him. But I do really like him. Whether it’s just me and him, or all three of us … asking if he’d like to start dating would still be a lot for him to take in, you know? This is me we’re talking about.”

 

Louis tried to reassure her, “I’m fine if it’s just you. You’re more special than you think you are. I’ll get over it. My fiancé is waiting for me… You should use this time to form a real relationship - a lasting relationship. There are worse people to choose from than Legosi. You deserve a great guy, like Legosi.”

 

Haru grumbled right back at him, “It’s not as easy as all that. We still don’t know which way he swings, or if he’s even up for an interspecies romance. Neither of us are wolves or carnivores.”

 

Louis teased, “Weren't you the one who told me I should be thinking about how good things can go?”

 

Haru fake laughed, “Har har. I give you a crash course in relationships and suddenly you’re a master.”

 

The deer smirked, “Well, you are a great teacher. I’m sure you could - teach - Legosi a few things, too.”

 

Haru playfully bopped him on the nose. “Watch it, bambi. I can still teach you a few things right now. With a bit more practice, you’re going to leave your fiance seeing stars on the honeymoon.”

 

Louis winced - she didn’t see it - but he tried to tease back, “I don’t make you see stars already? Well, that just won’t do. Lay back, we’re going again.”

 

Haru rolled her eyes as dramatically as possible. “Behold, the ego of a wounded buck. You’ll get your priorities straight some day.”

…… 

Legosi gave the breathy equivalent of a laugh, [Seriously?]

 

Louis, amused, stopped trying to add to their zoozle document for history class. He signed, [Yes, seriously!]

 

Legosi smiled, [You asked her if she wanted to go to the theater, and she said ‘It won’t help our company’?]

 

Louis fussed, [Yes! But you have to do it with no emotion whatsoever, like it’s a chore to even think about something else. Azuki is just - everything is business with her. She’s not out of high school either, but it’s already all she can think about!]

 

Legosi looked playful, [And you have so many emotions! How are things supposed to work between you two?]

 

The deer complained, [I do not have that many emotions.]

 

Legosi nudged him, [Oh, please. I’m always watching you sign. I know what you look like when you’re faking. You pretend not to have emotions, but you’re the most emotional guy I know.]

 

Louis glared and flicked the wolf’s shoulder, [The pot says to the kettle.]

 

Legosi feigned injury, [You’re so mean, Louis! Attacking a poor, defenseless wolf.]

 

The red deer rolled his eyes. [Ha. Ha.]

 

Legosi went back to adding to their group project, still smiling.

 

Louis … might have watched him smile a little longer than necessary. 

 

Louis stretched his fingers, shifting the conversation a little. [By the way …  you’ve been looking better. How are things going, with your doctor?]

 

The wolf looked a bit more serious then. [Things are getting better, I think. The medicine bothered me a bit at first, but I think it helps. The therapist says that for some people, it’s like training wheels, or scaffolding. It makes things easier - so my nervous system reacts more like it should. Not as anxious. We can’t know if I’ll always need it, but … it’s nice enough. There are times I’m not second guessing or worrying about anything, and … that silence is comforting. I guess it’s like that for most people, but it’s new for me.]

 

Louis nodded along, paying closer attention. [I’m glad to hear it. I think you mentioned … some emergency medicine? Right?]

 

The wolf nodded, [Yeah, the one for my panic attacks. It’s stronger, but it's there if things get really bad. I used it for that big math test last week. It makes me a little … foggy. But I’ll take foggy over being so anxious I can’t breathe.]

 

Louis tried to look encouraging, [Yeah, that sounds like a good trade. I also like being able to breathe.]

 

Legosi gave a bigger smile. [Breathing is all the rage these days. It’s really catching on. Do you think the drama club will get into it?]

 

[Breathing?] Louis smirked, [Who even knows. We’re all crazy over there. Though … actually, it has been pretty weird lately.]

 

The wolf frowned, and his head tilted an inch. [You’re still prepping for the Meteor Festival, right? What’s wrong?]

 

Louis had to think of how to word it, [It’s not ‘wrong’ exactly. Juno has become really popular in the last few weeks. She makes everyone happy. She was really sad to hear you left, but I ordered the guys not to gossip behind your back. You had to drop out for health reasons, that’s all. Bill is also … really different.]

 

Legosi leaned in closer, [Bill? Different how?]

 

Louis considered, [Well, he’s really been stepping up since you left. Nicer. More helpful, less rude.]

 

Legosi blinked several times. [Yeah. That sounds different… What do you think that’s about? Is he, I don’t know, trying to butter people up? Get a better role for next time?] 

 

Louis cleared his throat, [Well, this is just a theory, but it might have been … you?]

 

Legosi looked both confused and surprised. [What? I’ve barely talked to him since my apology.]

 

Louis agreed, [Yeah, but maybe that’s what did it. Again, this is only a theory, but you were attacked by a tiger. Maybe, I don’t know, talking about that held up a mirror to Bill and his own behavior - like how you called me out on stage. Maybe Bill … decided that he didn’t want to be a tiger like the one in your past.]

 

Legosi rubbed at his neck awkwardly. [I didn’t mean for him to take it that way… I only told him because I wanted him to know that it wasn’t about him… It was always about me, and my own issues.]

 

Louis gave an exaggerated shrug, [I said it’s just a theory. Who knows with Bill? Maybe Els. She’s been spending more time with him. The drama club has just been weirdly nice. I haven’t seen the club so together since before …]

 

Louis didn’t finish.

 

Legosi finished for him: [Since before Tem died?]

 

Louis nodded seriously. 

 

Legosi waited a moment. […It’s weird, but … I thought that was it for me here.]

 

[That was it?] Louis questioned. 

 

Legosi nodded, [Yeah. I might have dropped out, I mean. We didn’t talk then. So it was just me and Tem, and Jack. I like Jack. He’s my oldest friend. But I don’t know if I could stay here if it was just me and him. It’s a big school. We have different interests. So when I started here, I got really close to Tem, really fast. We bonded over theater. And then … someone took him.]

 

Louis signed small, [I didn’t realize the two of you were so close, but … you’re right. We didn’t talk back then. …I’m glad we do now.]

 

Legosi smiled bigger. [Me, too.]

…… 

Legosi hadn’t visited Tem’s memorial in awhile. It was so strange, the way that hallway had been left broken - like it was frozen in time and no one wanted to let time keep going. 

 

Maybe that’s why Legosi hadn’t been here recently. He’d been stuck in his own moment, but … he’d been getting free, little by little. 

 

Still … it just seems right to honor his memory, after talking with Louis.

 

Haru said it was fine for him to take a few flowers. Officially speaking, a good chunk of them were his own work by then.

 

Legosi still didn’t want to take some of the prettier ones. It just felt wrong somehow. Tem was killed, he died way too soon. He was pretty, he was healthy, he should have had so much more life to live. That wasn’t right. Doing that to flowers? It didn’t feel that different. A lot of those flowers could go to a good home from their festival sales. 

 

But there were some flowers that were weaker, more sickly, despite their best efforts. Legosi decided to bring some of those instead. 

 

Legosi hoped, if some part of Tem was still watching things, that he’d understand why Legosi brought the sickly flowers.

 

Maybe he could make a little shrine for Tem, up in the garden. Maybe that would make up for it.

 

Legosi sniffed at the air as he turned the corner. He smelled Louis before he saw him. The red deer must have had the same feeling. He was already there at the shrine, kneeling. 

 

Louis bought a real bouquet and everything.

 

Legosi suddenly felt awkward about his sickly flowers. Maybe he should have brought some better ones anyway.

 

The wolf tried not to disturb him. He walked very carefully so he could kneel beside him.

 

Louis had his eyes closed, but he had a little smirk on his face. He said out loud, “I’m not sure what it means, Legosi, that I’ve gotten to the point I can identify your scent. I don’t even have a canid nose.”

 

The deer slowly turned to face the wolf, and opened his eyes.

 

Legosi tried to keep his gaze downward, but his tail betrayed him a little: it was wagging at the comment, even if Legosi didn’t know what to sign back.

 

Legosi tried to sign instead, [I guess we had the same idea.]

 

Louis smiled, “I suppose we did. …I’m supposed to head into the city soon. Will you and Haru be setting up a stall there today? You were still preparing, too, right?”

 

The wolf nodded. [Since she has me to help carry things, we knew she wouldn’t have to make as many trips this year. I can push a much bigger cart than her. It’s better for the plants this way, less time between our garden and someone’s home. She said she was going to go on ahead to the city while I did this. I’ll catch up with her after I’m done here.]

 

The red deer seemed to be smiling even broader at the mention of her. 

 

Legosi shouldn’t have felt bad about that. But emotions were messy things.

 

Louis just patted Legosi on the back. “She’s lucky to have you. I’m … glad you have each other.”

 

Legosi frowned. He could have sworn he misunderstood the deer.

 

But then Louis was standing up, using Legosi’s shoulder for a bit of balance. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

 

The wolf nodded. [See you.]

 

Louis walked away then.

 

Legosi closed his eyes.

 

He was never really sure how this worked, what he was supposed to be doing. Was he just supposed to think of Tem? Was he supposed to have a conversation with him, in his head?

 

Maybe something would just pop into his thoughts. 

 

He never knew his grandma. He never heard her voice, never knew what she was really like. All he had were stories.

 

Maybe, if he just listened, he’d hear something from Tem? Was that it? Was that how it worked?

 

A male herbivore screamed out, “LEGOSI! HELP!!” but that wasn’t the ghost of Tem, that was Louis !

 

Legosi scrambled backwards, practically running on all fours for a moment before he was sprinting around the corner - down the halls - where limbs were flailing and fighting and Louis was most definitely trying to defend himself.

 

There was a flash of a moment as Legosi saw the red deer all the way down on the ground, one arm in front of him and trapped in a jaguar’s jaws - fangs digging crimson deep into the flesh.

 

The jaguar was wearing their school uniform. 

 

Louis was trying to keep him away with his left arm, too, as the vicious jaguar was trying to claw the deer all up. He was leaving shreds in the deer’s jacket already.

 

Louis’ blood tainted the air, thick and heavy.

 

Don’t hold back!

 

Legosi charged forward, kicking straight for the jaguar’s head.

 

The jaguar saw him and pulled away from the deer - but not fast enough.

 

It softened the blow, but Legosi’s shoe still made contact. He kicked the jaguar off his feet and into the wall.

 

The jaguar had to be seeing stars, and he tried to put his stained hands up. The cat pleaded, “Wait wait wait!”

 

Fists raised, halfway to striking, Legosi hesitated.

 

The jaguar’s eyes flitted away, over to Louis, and a sneer went across the cat’s bloody face. He started to run away.

 

He can’t get away, he’ll attack again!!

 

Legosi threw himself at the cat, grabbing his legs. They both fell back to the ground.

 

The cat got one leg free. He tried kicking at the wolf, Legosi tried blocking them with his forearm. The hard sole of his shoe was going to leave bruises, welts.

 

Wrong game, wrong, change the fight!

 

Legosi caught the next kick, and smashed his fist down at the cat’s knee, three times, as hard as possible. Legosi thought he felt something crumple. The cat certainly screamed like something broke.

 

Legosi practically shoved himself off the ground, away from the cat who now had one extremely painful reason for not escaping.

 

The cat was screaming obscenities even as Legosi heard more footsteps, heard more yelling.

 

“Legosi!”

 

The wolf turned back, to the red deer. Louis was back on his feet, but bleeding - bleeding so bad, red running down from his right arm like from a faucet.

 

He was holding a gun in his left hand. 

 

Louis looked like he was about to pass out. 

 

The deer took a few more unsteady steps. Then he looked overwhelmed by lightheadedness.

 

Legosi dove onto his knees, to catch the very red deer. 

 

His knees hurt against the school floor tiles, but he caught him. 

 

Other people were arriving then, others were screaming, but Legosi couldn’t think about them. He had to think about Louis. 

 

Legosi ripped off his scarf, and had it yanked painfully tight around the deer’s right forearm - tight as he could. 

 

Louis was trying to say something. He whispered rapidly, “I couldn’t reach my gun. I couldn’t reach my gun!”

 

Legosi didn’t ask him why he had a gun.

 

Legosi scooped up the red deer in his arms, almost effortlessly.

 

Someone put a hand on Legosi’s shoulder, was trying to ask him something.

 

Legosi didn’t respond, couldn’t speak anyway with Louis in his arms.

 

The wolf ran straight for the infirmary, as fast as possible - a breakneck, terrible idea of a race across the campus, barrelling past people with Louis in his arms. Some people got out of the way, some jumped aside. Pain shot up his knees with every heavy step. He kept running. 

 

Legosi jumped over a pair of mice, and dashed across a courtyard. 

 

The bloody red deer was saying something, curling in closer to the wolf who carried him like he weighed nothing. “I don’t want to die. Legosi, I don’t - I don’t want to die! I don’t!”

 

Legosi hefted him closer up even as he pushed the infirmary door open with his foot.

 

Louis used the chance to kiss him.

 

For a brief moment there, Legosi was just as confused as the medical staff.

 

They rushed closer even as they shot him a million questions about what happened, what was going on, why was Louis bleeding from everywhere.

 

Legosi couldn’t answer any of them. All he could do was get Louis onto a bed, lock eyes with the scared red deer, and then get out of their way.

Chapter 20: Two voices, four choices

Summary:

People aren't making it easy for Legosi ... or are they?

Long chapter is long.

Louis kissed me. 

 

Louis … kissed me?

 

Louis kissed … me?

 

Me.

 

Legosi was having trouble focusing his thoughts. His brain was doing spins. His chest had gotten very tight at some point between the memorial and the infirmary, and it was noticeably harder for him to breathe. It wasn’t the run, it was everything else.

 

Legosi was covered in … a lot of blood.

 

Legosi took one of his emergency pills for a panic attack. If this was a panic attack. 

 

Was he panicking?

 

He wanted to say yes.

 

One of the others on staff was still trying to drill the wolf for answers. 

 

Legosi lifted his chin and pointed at the terrible scarring across his neck, in case it wasn’t obvious. That was the quickest way to delay all the questions the medical staff had. 

 

One of the nurses was already calling for an ambulance. Louis needed surgery, the bites to his arm were too deep. 

 

Legosi got his phone out, so he could try to say something. It wasn’t necessary. Louis couldn’t really stop talking. 

 

Louis did all the explaining. Maybe he wasn’t as close to passing out as Legosi thought. Maybe Legosi was projecting. 

 

Louis rambled on, “Legosi saved me. The wolf, he’s the one who saved me. You all have to know, Legosi saved me! He did! Don’t - don’t blame him! It wasn’t him, it was a jaguar! I got attacked by a jaguar!”

 

Legosi thought the deer was in shock. 

 

One of the nurses kept trying to tell Louis, “You need to breathe. Breathe. Just breathe. Blow out, nice and slow. You don’t need to panic, we’re going to take care of you. He’s going to be fine. Your boyfriend is fine.”

 

Legosi felt a twisted impulse to laugh. He couldn’t.

 

Another minute or two (Legosi couldn’t track the time), and a bear came into the infirmary, carrying the extremely unhappy jaguar. 

 

The struggling cat promptly started swearing, “Fuck no! Fuck ! No way! Get that - get the fucking demon away from me! That asshole! That - Wolf Demon !! He broke my knee! He shattered my knee!!”

 

The cat’s bloody maw and claws were damning evidence on their own.

 

The red deer still sat up sharply, “You tried to kill me! You tried to fucking kill me! Legosi saved me - from you - you -” Louis released a tide of swears and obscenities that would have made a gangster blush.

 

The medical staff shoved Louis back down, even as they fought to staunch the bleeding from his arms. 

 

Legosi tried to squeeze his eyes shut. 

 

Deep breaths in, blow it out. Deep breaths in, blow it out. Too fast. Slow down. Five things. Name five things. My heart’s beating too fast.

 

Legosi didn’t get that far. 

 

One of the nurses touched Legosi on the shoulder, “You need to step out. You’re upsetting them both.”

 

Another burst of panic lit a fire under the deer. Louis yelled his name, “Legosi! Legosi, Haru likes you!” The nurse tried to calm the deer again. He still yelled to the wolf, “Haru likes you! She needs you! I - Forget me! Go to her!”

 

Legosi’s head was spinning again. The words in his head had stopped. Everything was wrong. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. The nurse pushed Legosi out of the infirmary, and he let her.

 

The smell of blood was just as bad in the hallway. 

 

No. The smell of blood was coming from him.

 

Legosi’s clothes had red stains all over, from all of Louis’ cuts - some bigger than others - all so very visible on his white uniform shirt. 

 

A dozen students were hovering nearby. They whispered even more rapidly as the bloodied wolf turned, and they saw his bare throat. 

 

Wolf Demon . 

 

They were calling him Wolf Demon again. 

 

Legosi gripped the base of his neck. 

 

He was trying to focus. The last ten minutes kept replaying in his head - like a disaster, like a trainwreck.

 

Grounding. He needed to ground himself to the moment, somehow. 

 

Where to even start?

 

Legosi texted Haru, {Louis was attacked by a jaguar. I got him to the infirmary. They’re going to take him to the hospital in the city. He’s delirious. He’s freaking out. He thinks he’s going to die.}

 

Legosi was also freaking out. It was appropriate, considering. Anyone would be.

 

Haru didn’t ask why he was texting her. She just replied, {I’m on my way. Thank you.}

 

Something in that sentence seemed to be enough. 

 

Legosi knew the two were together. Now, Haru knew he knew. Definitely.

 

Was she panicking? Legosi was. Haru was fearless. 

 

Short term tasks. I need to do short term tasks. 

 

People kept passing by the infirmary. They all seemed to know about the attack. The gossip must have been spreading like a wildfire. 

 

I’m still wearing Louis’ blood.

 

He may as well have been holding a sign that said ‘MONSTER.’

 

Legosi heard the ambulance. 

 

He forgot there was another door in the infirmary, on the opposite side. The wolf ran out of the building as fast as he could. 

 

He saw Louis being rolled out on a gurney. 

 

He saw the ambulance door close, and it drove away. Fast.

 

He wanted to go with him to the hospital. 

 

Legosi decided then that he was going to follow. 

 

Short term tasks , he reminded himself. 

 

I need to do short term tasks. 

 

Legosi closed his eyes for a moment.

 

What do I need?

 

What do I need first?

 

Clothes.

 

He needed to get out of these clothes.

 

He could make it worse, run in shame, give everyone the illusion he really had done something terrible. He’d confirm for everyone that he was the monster they all thought he was.

 

No. 

 

Acting.

 

It was just like signing. It was all in the body language, in projecting what he wanted to say without words.

 

Legosi clenched his fists. He kept his eyes straight ahead. He refused to let his ears fall.

 

He walked, tall and proud, a man on a mission - across campus, all the way back to his dorm. Blood and all.

 

He did it like he thought Haru would have done.

 

He faked the strength he wished he had.

 

He blacked out all the staring and the whispers and a photo flash or two, even as his arteries drummed a rapid beat in his flesh. 

 

Durham stopped talking abruptly as Legosi entered room 701. Miguno stared just as much as Legosi closed the door behind him.

 

Durham stammered, “Uh, hey, big dog? You okay?”

 

Legosi signed [Fine. Long story,] even as he started changing, tossing his ruined shirt right into a garbage bag. He tied it shut.

 

He was mostly dressed again, when Miguno pointed out, “Um, Legosi? You, uh … got some blood … on your arms …”

 

The wolf glanced down. [Yeah… Thanks.]

 

Legosi needed to wash up.

……

Short term tasks.

 

Legosi started a list on his phone of plants that still needed taking into town for the festival. He headed over to the garden rooftop. He climbed all the stairs. 

 

He gathered things together - pots and plants and things of that nature - and started ferrying them to a large push cart. It was going to take several trips, but that was okay. He needed to occupy his time. 

 

The medicine was starting to take effect by then. He felt calmer, a little sleepier, but he still thought that was a worthy trade. 

 

Legosi pushed the cart off campus, towards the once-hated metro station. He still seemed to see a lot of students hanging around outside. Had they already heard about the attack?

 

They might have. Louis had always been popular. People would care about him.

 

Legosi tried to keep working on his grounding and his meditations while the metro carried him and their garden club gear into the city. 

 

Jack tried to text him about it, while Legosi was on the ride. The rumors were spreading.

 

Legosi told him honestly, {I’m not mentally ready to talk about it right now. I promise I’ll tell you when I am.}

 

It still made Legosi happy when Jack replied, {Okay. I’m here for you. I’ll listen when you’re ready.}

 

He got the pushcart to the festival grounds eventually. He found the stall for the garden club. Things were still half unloaded, not fully arranged. 

 

Haru might have dropped everything and ran. Legosi would have, if he was her. If Louis was his? 

 

Legosi still tried to finish it for her.

 

His phone beeped at him a half hour later, that he had another text message. He opened it.

 

Haru wrote, {He’s still in surgery. What exactly happened? Why did he get attacked?}

 

The wolf frowned at his phone. Could he talk about it now? Had enough time passed?

 

He wrote back slowly, honestly. {I don’t know. I heard Louis yell for help. The jaguar already had him on the ground. He was biting Louis’ arm really bad. I stopped him. I ran Louis to the infirmary. The infirmary staff said I was upsetting them and made me leave.}

 

Legosi didn’t think he should mention smashing the jaguar’s knee, or Louis kissing him. 

 

Louis was … freaking out. 

 

Louis would be humiliated, if the wolf told her about that. Getting attacked most definitely screws with your brain. 

 

Space. I should give them both space. Silence.

 

Haru didn’t make that easy. {I’m sure he’d like to see you when he’s out. I’d like to see you, too.}

 

Legosi swallowed. He didn’t need much persuading. 

 

{Okay.}

……

Legosi still took his time. Some surgeries could take a long while. It depended on how much repair they had to do.

 

An arm had to be easier to fix than a throat. Right?

 

Legosi wasn’t quite panicking anymore, but he still felt awkward about being between Louis and Haru. 

 

He wanted to see them both. 

 

But Louis kissed him…

 

Legosi felt unsettled. 

 

It wasn’t like it was a bad kiss. Legosi liked it. He kept replaying the feeling of it in his head. Louis’ lips, on his own. He wanted to kiss Louis again. 

 

But Legosi didn’t think that was right of him either. 

 

When the wolf came around a corner in the hospital lobby, Haru outright ran for him. She wrapped her little arms around his legs, hard as could be. 

 

Legosi only stopped her, so he could bend down, take a knee, and hug her back. 

 

Haru whispered, “Thank you - for everything.”

 

The rabbit let go of the hug. 

 

But her hands moved to hold him by the fluff of his cheeks. 

 

Haru leaned in, and she gave Legosi a kiss, too. 

 

Legosi’s little brain exploded. 

 

Haru pulled back, and immediately started apologizing. “I’m sorry! Wrong time! This is the wrong time! I just -”

 

Legosi gave her a split-second kiss back. Just the slightest peck of lips to lips. His ears were very low. His eyes were wide. His tail was swaying. 

 

And Legosi was so, so very confused inside. 

 

He took a seat on a nearby bench. 

 

Haru climbed on the bench to the right of him. 

 

Haru reached over, wrapping her little hand around some of his huge fingers. 

 

A few minutes passed. 

 

Haru asked, “Please say something? …You know what I mean! I only know a little sign. You have to be thinking something. Text me. Please? I need to know what’s going on in your head.”

 

Legosi very slowly took out his phone. 

 

Haru kept her hand on his forearm instead. 

 

It looked so small there, in contrast to him. 

 

Legosi wrote out, {I know the two of you are together. I don’t want to upset either of you. I don’t know how to talk about this now. I care about you both. Can we please talk about it later?}

 

Haru read it but didn’t reply yet. 

 

Her fingers traced along his forearm, then she frowned heavily. “Legosi, you’ve got welts! All over! These are cuts, too! Your arm feels all messed up!”

 

The wolf looked down at his forearm, and paid closer attention to it with his fingers. Yeah, it hurt, but … Legosi just felt hurt all over. He had to write it out for her, {It was from the jaguar. He kicked me a lot. He was trying to get away, but I thought he was going to attack Louis again. So I grabbed his legs. He kept kicking at me.}

 

Haru looked more concerned. “He didn’t break your arm, did he? We should get you seen, too! Legosi!! You didn’t say he hurt you, too!”

 

Legosi gave a very slow, drawn-out shrug. He typed, {I don’t matter. Louis was the one in danger.}

 

Her response was explosive. 

 

Haru stood up on the bench, grabbed Legosi’s face, and told him as loudly as she pleased, “Yes, you do matter! You don’t get to say that ever again! You’re a good person, and a special person, and both of us know that! Louis and I! You matter, and if you got hurt, it’d hurt us, too! Now, come on!”

 

Haru jumped off the bench.

 

Legosi - ears low, tail swaying - asked, [To where?]

 

Haru huffed as she tried dragging the huge carnivore by his good arm, “We’re in a hospital! We’re getting you seen by a doctor, to make sure that asshole didn’t screw up your arm! I’m not debating this! You’re coming with me!”

 

Legosi felt the strangest sort of contentment, as he let the rabbit tug him along. 

……

They looked like quite a pair, going through the hospital: a huge, slouching, silent gray wolf, being escorted by a loud, petite little rabbit. 

 

Haru practically demanded an X-Ray, when they could be seen. She didn’t quite trust Legosi to be honest about the extent of his injuries. He was self-conscious and didn’t complain on a good day, much less a bad one. 

 

Haru was his loud, passionate advocate. 

 

Legosi was lucky. With all his training, Legosi had such dense arms that muscle took the brunt of the damage. No bone damage. A nurse still cleaned his arm up, used a special chemical on the wounds, and wrapped it up for him. 

 

By the time they were finally seen and done with all that, Legosi got a text message from Louis. 

 

{I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Please don’t worry. I’m out of surgery now. They have me in a room on the fifth floor. You got me help in time. I’m on a lot of painkillers right now. But I’ll be fine. I promise. Thank you. Is Haru okay? Did you go to her?}

 

Legosi showed the text to her. He signed, [You should go to him.] Then he started turning, as if to slink away - but she grabbed his tail. 

 

Haru grumbled, “Oh, no! You don’t get to leave now. You’re coming with me, right now! He texted you, not me!”

 

Legosi rubbed his bandaged arm awkwardly. His heart was still unsettled. He got out his phone to reply, {He probably doesn’t know we’re here. I don’t want to get in between you two.}

 

Haru huffed, “Well, maybe we want you between us!”

 

Legosi didn’t know how to respond to that. 

 

His brain wasn’t ready.

 

There was just too much to take in today.

 

He finger spelled, [OK], and she pulled him along again, hand in hand. 

……

Haru brought Legosi into Louis’ hospital room. The red deer was sitting up, wearing a medical gown, and sipping from a cup with his left hand. Both arms were covered in bandages, and the right arm was held up by a sling above the bed. A few IV lines were pushing blood and fluids.

 

Louis still sat up straighter when they entered. “Legosi? Haru?! You’re supposed to be on campus!”

 

Legosi closed the door behind them. 

 

The tiny tyrant, however, stated loudly, “So are you, horns-for-brains! Legosi here texted me right away, but I’ve been dragging him all over the hospital since he got here. He wasn’t even going to get his arm checked!”

 

Louis looked more nervously at the bandages around Legosi’s arm. Louis asked fast, “How are you? Are you okay? How is it?”

 

Legosi signed small, [I’m fine, I promise. It’s just some cuts and some welts…]

 

Haru complained, “I made him get an X-Ray, to make sure nothing was broken. At least one of you has some meat on their bones.”

 

Louis wanted to say something witty and sarcastic back. It was their way. But he found himself uncomfortably looking downwards instead - like it was his fault Legosi got hurt.

 

Then Haru marched right over to Louis’ bed and hopped up close to his left side, where she could stare him in the eyes. “Okay, Louis: fess up. What did you do?”

 

Louis recoiled, “Me?! Why do you think it was me?!”

 

Haru scoffed, “You’re a disaster, it’s always you. You should be more like Legosi, he doesn’t get into fights!”

 

Legosi coughed loudly and awkwardly. 

 

Haru glared. “Okay, Legosi gets into a few fights, but they’re usually not his fault!”

 

Legosi wasn’t sure that was more accurate either.

 

Louis was still offended, “I didn’t do anything! Legosi and I were visiting our friend’s memorial, but I left first. I didn’t do or say anything to the jaguar. He just jumped me! Before I even knew what was happening, he was practically biting my arm off! I couldn’t even reach my gun because I thought he’d cut my throat! The only reason I’m not dead or armless is because Legosi got to me in time!”

 

Legosi flinched downwards. 

 

Haru’s nose twitched several times. She looked at Legosi, “Does that line up?”

 

Head held low, the wolf brought his fingers together, [A little.]

 

Louis was quieter then. “I mean it though… Legosi really did save me. That guy was trying to kill me, and … Legosi fought him off.” 

 

Louis was looking more conflicted by the second. So was Legosi.

 

Louis used his good left hand to hold Haru’s smaller one. “Legosi used his scarf to save me from bleeding out and ran me straight to the infirmary. They don’t think I’ll have any lasting nerve damage, because of Legosi.”

 

The rabbit squeezed Louis’ hand. Her own ears drifted down, heavy. Her own blustering was starting to lose steam, showing just how much this whole ordeal had really affected her.

 

She looked at Legosi with a certain overwhelming gratitude. She said it like she was praying: “Thank you for saving him…”

 

Legosi gave a very weak smile, a poor attempt to assure her. He started slowly moving for the door again.

 

Louis said suddenly, “I kissed Legosi.”

 

The wolf flinched once more. He kept the door closed, and looked at the deer in fear. He tried to gesture for him not to say anything, that it’d be a secret, that she didn’t need to know.

 

Haru just rubbed her forehead and laughed. “I kissed Legosi, too.”

 

Legosi hid his face in his hands. He sighed as loud as he could, the most vocal he could really be - the closest to a groan. 

 

Legosi signed passionately, [Louis, stop! I don’t want to come between you two! I know you have something special!]

 

Louis repeated that out loud for Haru - destroying Legosi’s attempt to be subtle. 

 

Legosi turned and smacked his head into the door on purpose.

 

Haru was just weirdly amused. She said for Louis’ sake, “I already told Legosi we want him between us. Though he might not have understood what I meant. It’s been a stressful afternoon.”

 

Louis admitted, “I kissed him when I was panicking. I thought I was going to die, and - I just kissed him, without thinking. But then I tried to salvage things for you, Haru, I swear! I, uh, told him to forget me - that you wanted him and you’d need him.”

 

Haru gave a playful sigh. She flicked Louis on the nose. “I said it before. You’re too dramatic to be straight.”

 

Louis shot back, trying to be funny about it, “Again: I was dying! I panicked!”

 

Haru rolled her eyes. “I stand by my assessment - you would say something like that. …So, as the person with the most balls in the room, it’s up to me to make this easy on everybody. Legosi! Get your big fuzzy butt over here. You have a pop quiz.”

 

The wolf’s ‘big fuzzy butt’ was extremely confused. His tail was moving, just a little, but it kept stopping - like it wanted to wag but it wasn’t sure if it should. Legosi had his head low and his ears lower, and slunk his way close. He kept his hands in front of him, fingers threaded in nervous prayer.

 

Legosi sat on the left side of the bed, next to Haru, but facing away from them.

 

He was just close enough that Louis’ fingers could reach out and touch the wolf’s back.

 

Haru’s fingers tugged at the wolf's jaw, trying to guide his face to look towards them.

 

Legosi could have gotten lost, just looking at the two of them.

 

…She’s smiling. 

 

After everything that happened today, she’s smiling.

 

Somehow that makes me feel better. 

 

And Louis is smiling, too. 

 

Am I allowed to like that, too?

 

Herbivores always have … such beautiful smiles… 

 

She started when she could look into his tired eyes, “Here’s the quiz, Legosi. It’s multiple choice, like all the best quizzes are. Because Louis and I are really complicated, messy people, and neither of us deserve you, but we both actually really like you. We think you like us, too, but we aren’t sure how much, or in what way … like, in a romantic way. We’ve all just been walking around it and we have been for a while. So, here are your options…”

 

“…Option A: would you like to kiss me more?”

 

He wanted to say yes. He didn’t say anything.

 

“Option B: would you like to kiss Louis more?”

 

He wanted to say yes. He remained silent.

 

“Option C: would you rather not kiss either of us again?” 

 

Legosi shook his head. He shook his head forcefully, that was definitely the wrong answer.

 

Haru explained fast, “Because you can say that, if you aren’t into us like that. We’d understand if neither of us are your type. We aren’t wolves, or canids. But, there’s also Option D, which is technically what the two of us would like … would you like to kiss us both more? Cause, we’d both really like to keep kissing you, and all the other dating things, too - but we’ve been trying to be considerate of your feelings, and we know everything in your life has been really messy. We don’t want to give you our messes, too. But …”

 

Louis rubbed at the wolf’s back, “But I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m a selfish, self-centered bisexual disaster. I’m trying to fix the self-centered part, but I’d really like to be selfish about one more thing in my life. Just one more thing. …I just really want to be with the both of you. I’ve had a crush on you for a while. So does Haru. I was going to step aside, I was going to let Haru date you, and just you, but I nearly died today and … I think I have to admit, I really want to keep kissing the guy who saved my life.”

 

Haru added, “And we know, this whole thing is really weird - the idea of three people dating each other, going steady. And between the three of us, yeah, we’re all so different, I barely know any sign, but … Louis and I want to try, for you - to see if we can actually work something out as the three of us, together. We both like you. We both want you. And we think you’re worth trying for… So, it’s … really up to you now, if you think we’re worth trying for, too. You’ve got 4 choices. You can choose whichever one you want, and whichever one it is, we’ll be okay with it. We want to be your friends regardless, if you’ll still have us. The ball is in your court. It’s just up to you.”

 

Legosi slowly got the strength to lift his weary eyes up. They were already starting to reflect more, to glisten more. Wet. Full.

 

He signed very slowly, afraid if he moved too fast, the dream would fall apart.

 

Louis’ smile shone brighter. 

 

Louis interpreted it, for Haru’s sake: 

 

“Can I really kiss you both?”

 

The rabbit practically jumped up to kiss Legosi again.

Chapter 21: No safe beastar

Summary:

It's a good news/bad news week, my dudes.

Notes:

As always, I very much appreciate getting comments. Positive feedback helps keep me writing and posting sooner.

While my life is not returning to "normal," I am getting back to my routine. I like responding to people's comments. :)

The three of them cuddled for a solid hour. 

 

The trio certainly had enough things to talk about.

 

The occasional visiting nurse chose to not comment - considering Louis had almost died. An interspecies fling was such a high school thing, as far as the nurses were concerned.

 

Louis scooted a bit more to the right side of the hospital bed, closer to the sling that held his right arm up. That way, Legosi and Haru could sit next to him. 

 

Louis rested his jaw against the wolf’s shoulder, careful of his antlers. He breathed in a bit deeper at Legosi’s neck, so near and close to the wolf’s familiar scent.

 

Haru sat on Legosi’s right thigh, trying to nestle between them, but mostly back against the wolf’s torso. There was something comforting about being there, against the carnivore’s big body. She set her right hand on Louis’ leg so she could keep in contact with him, too. Sometimes Louis even held her hand.

 

Legosi could still use his arms to sign when he wanted to. When he wasn’t signing, he was holding Haru or innocently touching at some part of Louis. 

 

He supposed it was a good sign that they all wanted the chance to cuddle together - somehow - even if the positioning was awkward.

 

Most canids enjoyed being close with their friends and family, but this felt different. It was more than that? Legosi, as ever, struggled with how to express his feelings, but he quickly came to the conclusion that cuddling with a romantic partner was the best thing ever, and he needed to do this a lot more in the future.

 

The two herbivores were a bit embarrassed to learn just when Legosi found out their secret: that day he quit the drama club.

 

Legosi still looked at them with canine confusion. [Wait, you two were arguing about me ?]

 

Haru giggled. She didn’t need Louis to interpret that sentence. 

 

The rabbit answered, “Oh, we were arguing because Louis is an idiot. He kept acting as if liking a carnivore was the end of the world.”

 

Louis indignantly shot back, “I thought I was straight, okay?! That’s all!”

 

Haru giggled at her old joke. Legosi kind of smiled about it.

 

Embarrassed and grumbling, Louis still chewed on how to defend himself. “It might be more accurate to say - well, yes, I suppose I was being stupid. Haru and I tease each other a lot. We’re - playful or something. I didn’t realize Haru liked you for real, or how the way I was acting made her feel. In my defense, I was still trying to figure out how to manage a crush on you at all. I’ve practically been betrothed, you know that. I’m not supposed to like Haru and you’re my first male crush.”

 

Legosi’s tail awkwardly tried to wag underneath him. [I’m your first?]

 

Louis sounded like he was complaining, “You project a very distinct sort of masculinity, okay? And you’re all … nice. You’re kind! You go out of your way to help people and I guess that’s attractive to me.”

 

The wolf gave his own admission, [I thought you’d only want to be my friend at best. You hated me before… I didn’t think romantic interest was even a possibility for you.]

 

Haru patted the wolf when Louis caught her up. She teased, “Oh, you also seduce Louis whenever you call him on his shit. He likes it when you stand up to him. We think he’s turned on by conviction. He has frequently used the words ‘sexy’ and ‘studly’ when he talks to me about you.”

 

Louis glared, “ Haru! ”

 

Legosi’s tail was definitely wagging faster. He looked at Louis and asked, [You really think I’m sexy?]

 

Louis grumbled to himself at Haru’s playful betrayal. He stared her down, then muttered, “I am only telling you this in the strictest of confidence, because I know you have bad self-esteem. And you both have to swear not to repeat it! But yes, Legosi: I think you’re a sexy male studmuffin and I want to lick you all over. There, I said it. I’m never saying it again. Next question.”

 

Haru was trying to resist the urge to cackle. 

 

Legosi was trying not to flush too much, but his fur was definitely fluffing up a bit. 

 

With some embarrassment, the wolf started pulling up some files on his smart phone. Louis continued interpreting for Haru’s sake as Legosi explained, [I was actually working with my therapist, about communicating better with others. It’s hard for me to express some things, so … I’ve been trying to get my feelings out by writing.]

 

Haru wondered, “Started a journal, did you? Do you have a secret diary somewhere?”

 

Legosi shook his head bashfully. [No. I mean, yes, I’ve started journaling for my mental health, but … what I was starting to say is that I’ve been working on … love letters?]

 

Louis repeated that last part louder, amused, “You’ve been writing love letters? Who’s the lucky rabbit?”

 

Haru snorted once.

 

Legosi’s smile was bright, but his ears were shy and low. [Both of you, technically… I don’t understand my feelings that well. I didn’t think I had any sexual feelings at all before, but … the two of you made me feel something. I don’t know how to communicate it well. So my therapist suggested I try writing letters for the people I care about … what I like about you … how you make me feel. He thought that maybe I’d find my own answers in the process of writing them.]

 

Haru asked sincerely, “And what did you find out?”

 

Legosi admitted awkwardly, [That I was still very confused … and I didn’t know how to choose between you two… I like you both a lot, and I didn’t want to make either of you unhappy. As long as you were happy together, that would have been enough for me. I didn’t care about a relationship before, so … I could have been fine, just being alone.]

 

Louis leaned more warmly against the wolf, “I like this option better. …I’ll get to see you smile more. I like seeing you smile - which, I’ll be honest, is weird for me because I’ve never been on good terms with carnivores, but … there’s something nice, in seeing you smile.”

 

Legosi was trying not to smile too much. His tail wagged rapidly, [I think you two have much prettier smiles than mine.]

 

Louis hummed, “Agree to disagree. You two have me beat.”

 

Haru joked loudly, “Well, I’ll take it! Oh yeah, I have the best smile! Damn straight. Queen of the Smiles, right here!”

 

Legosi placed a single small kiss on top of her head. [All hail the queen.]

 

Louis smirked as he repeated that aloud for her. The deer looked more playfully at the wolf and asked, “So do we get to see these letters? I’m interested in hearing what you wrote down.”

 

The wolf shifted a bit in place. [Only if you don’t tease me. I’m still very self-conscious…]

 

Haru motioned an ‘X’ over her chest, “Cross my heart -”

 

“- and hope to die,” Louis finished the kid’s promise.

 

[No dying,] the wolf protested. Legosi still took a few seconds more of quiet displeasure before finally sending one to Louis, and one to Haru.

 

The pair of them quickly took to reading them on their own phones. Legosi hugged Louis’ good left arm while Louis was using it to read.

 

Haru giggled softly and reported, “He likes how sassy I am. He thinks I’m fearless, and he loves listening to me talk.”

 

Louis teased her, “Oh yeah? Well, he loves my ass!”

 

Legosi’s ears nearly shot off his head. [WRONG LETTER! WRONG LETTER!!]

 

Legosi tried reaching for the phone even as Louis clutched it to his chest and started cackling, “No, it’s mine! It’s mine now!~ I want it!!”

 

Haru pretended to pout at the deer, “Hey, that’s no fair! My ass looks way better than yours!”

 

Louis joked, “It’s totally fair! You’re Queen of the Smiles, I’m Queen of the Ass! - wait, that came out wrong.”

 

Haru nearly fell out of the bed laughing. Legosi had to catch her.

 

Louis the red deer was looking even more red.

 

Legosi’s fur was puffing up with embarrassment.

 

And then the door swung open, hard.

 

Everyone flinched.

 

The great, old red deer had an entourage behind him and looked ready to kill someone. He started asking, “Louis, what happened?” but he cut himself off instead to ask, “Who’s all this??”

 

The old deer shut the door behind him, blocking off his entourage from whatever this was.

 

Quick as he could, Legosi jumped off the bed and set Haru back down in front of him. Legosi looked to his two herbivore classmates for help. 

 

But Legosi wasn’t the only one without a voice. Louis seemed to freeze, like he was staring down a speeding car at night. 

 

Legosi didn’t remember seeing Louis freeze before. 

 

The rabbit didn’t - thankfully. She pulled herself up, breathing a little heavy from all the laughter and pointed to herself, “Haru the dwarf rabbit. Legosi the gray wolf,” she thumbed at the wolf behind her. “Legosi saved the little buck’s life. I’m presuming you're the dad?”

 

The elder deer seemed to be assessing their value right there. “Oguma. Louis is my son, yes.” He was too concerned for Louis to bring up how affectionate the wolf had just been with them. His eyes narrowed on the young deer. “Is that true?”

 

Louis found his voice. He answered quietly, “Yes. Legosi and Haru are - my friends. They wanted to make sure I was okay. …I didn’t think you’d come here yourself.”

 

Oguma looked serious. “I was in a meeting. I only received the message from your school a little while ago. …How painful is it? They told me there was an attack, that you needed surgery. They didn’t have many details to give me.”

 

The smaller deer was avoiding Oguma’s eyes as he explained, “I got bit and clawed by a jaguar. The surgery was because of how deep the bite wounds were. I’m on a lot of medicine so it only aches right now… I was visiting a classmate’s memorial with Legosi. It was a devouring, earlier this year. I just happened to leave it first. I was walking down the hall by myself when a jaguar jumped me. He might have wanted to mug me - most everyone knows I come from money. I called for help, and Legosi saved me. He got his arm smashed up, saving me.”

 

Oguma was staring hard at Legosi again - like he was expecting the wolf to turn on them right there.

 

Legosi lowered his head further and rubbed his neck nervously. 

 

Oguma’s eyes went to the wolf’s throat. He questioned, “Do you talk for yourself?”

 

Legosi shook his head. He signed small, careful not to seem threatening, [Louis interprets for me in class.]

 

Oguma turned to his son, “He signs like your old maid.”

 

Oguma took out a checkbook then. As he began filling it out, he stated, “My secretary is handling your discharge papers now. Then we can take you home to recover. I can provide you with round-the-clock care.”

 

Louis hesitated to point out, “…I have classes tomorrow. I need to head back to the dorms.”

 

Oguma finished putting his signature on the check. “You most certainly do not. You’ve just had reconstructive surgery. You can’t afford to get it infected. You need bed rest.”

 

That was alright. That was okay. They could all agree on that. 

 

Oguma continued, “And then we can decide which school you’ll be attending next month.”

 

Haru snapped, “Wait - what?! We’re in the middle of the school year!”

 

Louis didn’t speak.

 

Oguma stood unflinching. 

 

The old stag stated, “I expressly got you permission to carry a gun to defend yourself on campus. You’re saying another student was devoured this year already and now I find that - not only could you not defend yourself - but you needed a battle-scarred carnivore to save you instead? No, Louis. This is not safe. Your time in Cherryton is over. You’ll find yourself much more content in a segregated school.”

 

Haru was quick to be angry, “Legosi got his scars when he was five, trying to save someone! That’s who he is! He got hurt saving Louis! His wounds are from helping people, so don’t blow him off like he’s some violent meat junkie! He’s a good person!”

 

Oguma was practically robotic. He looked at her, then wrote that name down on the check. “Legosi the - gray wolf, yes? Do you spell that with an H or without? Here.” 

 

Oguma tore off the check and stabbed it in the wolf’s direction. 

 

Legosi was too self-conscious not to take it, but his eyes still widened when he saw all those zeroes on the paper. 

 

Oguma clarified, “My gratitude is all well and good. Here’s payment for saving my son’s life. That’s worth more than words. I appreciate the vote of confidence, Haru, but this is between my son and I. I will not risk his safety when a carnivore has already shown willful intent to eat him .”

 

Haru hesitated for just a second to regroup. She reminded him sternly, “Cherryton is one of the finest schools in the country. The name alone has weight and value to the larger community, not the least of which being its history for developing Sublime Beastars. Louis is already on track to be a Beastar soon, and if you switch him to a different school now, he’d be at the very real risk of losing the nomination. Yes, Cherryton isn’t segregated, which has some risks…”

 

“…but it also has many rewards. It gives Louis the social opportunity to network, to work with and impress his carnivore peers. A true Beastar has to gain the recognition and acknowledgement of both sides: herbivores and carnivores. Louis is already doing that in Cherryton. Louis is amazing, but pulling Louis out now and dropping him into an herbivore-only school could irreparably damage his future chances. You can’t become a Beastar by being safe.”

 

Oguma seemed to soften. 

 

It was barely there, just at the eyes, but it was enough for them to see it. 

 

Oguma stated, “I would rather my son be safe than a Beastar. …He is already exemplary. …I don’t need carnivores to know that; I already know that. But … it is good his friends do as well.”

 

Louis finally spoke up. “I don’t want to leave Cherryton.”

 

All eyes turned to the wounded buck. 

 

Louis grit his teeth. His gaze lifted up to his father’s. He looked as powerful as he could be - in bandages and a hospital gown and half his father’s size. He defended it, “Cherryton is my school. I have fought for it. I have bled for it - today, and many times before. I have accomplished too much, sacrificed too much already. I am not about to turn my back on that. My achievements are my own. I did not bleed for three years to turn tail after a - failed mugging. I couldn’t reach my gun in time. That won’t happen twice.”

 

Oguma glanced over at Legosi. The wolf was feeling all the more conspicuous as the only carnivore in the room.

 

Oguma asked his son, “Are you sure that’s what it was? A failed mugging?”

 

Louis stiffened. “…I can imagine no other reason for the attack.”

 

Lying.

 

Oguma looked at Haru, “Can you?”

 

Haru crossed her arms. “Louis has his character flaws, but most people love him. I don’t see anyone really wanting to hurt him just for being him.”

 

Also lying… 

 

Oguma turned again, looking at the wolf. Legosi seemed to be holding the check like it was a tiny shield in front of his chest. It was way too small for him to hide behind. 

 

The elder deer’s eyes sharpened on Legosi once more. Oguma asked, “Do you know of any reason why your fellow carnivores would want to hurt Louis?”

 

Yes. Of course, I do. Of course - we all do… 

 

Legosi gave a rocky, reluctant slouch of his shoulders. He signed slowly, [Not my ‘fellows,’ no. Sometimes … people just make bad decisions, in the moment. Little things can ripple. They can become big, whether we realize it at the time or not. That’s all I can think of…] 

 

Legosi half expected Louis to lie and change the wolf’s answer, to tailor it for the elder stag’s ears. 

 

Louis interpreted it honestly for Haru and his father. 

 

Then Oguma adjusted his glasses. “Impressive. That tells me absolutely nothing. It was very nice meeting you all. Louis, we’ll finish this later. For now, I’m taking you home. The staff can take much better care of you there.”

 

Louis put more strength in his voice, “Give me five minutes to say goodbye to my friends - in private.”

 

Oguma glanced again at Haru and Legosi. He hadn’t forgotten how he entered the room. Oguma turned sharply to leave. “Five minutes.”

 

Louis waited for his father to close the door, before he turned to the upset wolf. 

 

Louis was devious in his word choice. “Hey. Studmuffin. Get over here.”

 

Legosi kept his head low, but his tail started wagging as he approached. [Don’t call me that…] 

 

Louis grabbed Legosi’s shirt when he got close enough and then tugged Legosi into a proper kiss. Legosi didn’t know what to do, how to put passion into it the way Louis could, but Louis seemed prepared to teach.

 

Legosi’s tail was wagging so fast, it was cutting the air like a fan, even after they separated.

 

The red deer just looked so … fulfilled?

 

Legosi’s brain felt like it was short-circuiting again.

 

Louis assured him, “I’m coming back for you, Legosi. I promise. I didn’t just get you to lose you. I’m coming back for both of you. I’ll be texting. You two better kiss lots in the meantime on your own. Don’t hold back on my account.”

 

Louis started letting go of Legosi’s shirt, only for Haru to grab the wolf’s shirt next.

 

She gave Louis a quick kiss, then gave Legosi a quick kiss, too. 

 

She smirked at the deer, “We’ll manage without you somehow. Just come back soon.”

 

Louis grinned. “It’s a date.”

 

Legosi felt bubbly at the idea of a date. He readily admitted, [I’ve never been on a date before…] 

 

His mind was running away from him. His imagination was trying to picture it right then and there. Would it involve a movie? A restaurant? A theme park? 

 

There are flowers, right? Flowers are supposed to be involved. Haru and I have lots of flowers.

 

The rabbit seemed a little bit tired by then and stretched her arms out. “Alright, Legosi. I guess we should head back to school ourselves. It’s starting to get dark out. Not like I have too much to worry about, with you around, but still.”

 

For the first time in his life, Legosi’s chest swelled with pride. Haru grabbed his hand to pull the wolf along. Legosi gave the deer a small wave of his other hand.

 

Louis started leaning up and quickly added, “Oh, and Legosi? …Whatever my dad just put on that check? You put it in your bank account. I don’t know how much it was, but I saw that face you made. You saved my life. You take that money. Rex knows my father can spare it. And if you feel bad about it, you can pay for dinner sometime. But you take that money! I mean it.”

 

Dinner with Louis and Haru? Yeah, he wanted to do that.

 

It gave Legosi’s tail one more reason to wag. He wondered if it was possible for a tail to break and get stuck like that, just wagging forever. 

 

Tonight was going to be a good night.

…… 

“The principal wants to speak with you in the morning.”

 

The night was ruined.

 

Legosi blinked at Jack. [Speak with me about what??]

 

The dog was clearly just as concerned, “What do you think?! Everyone was talking about the attack this afternoon - how Louis got hurt, and the Wolf Demon saved him! I know that’s you, Legosi. It’s from that show you put on, right? What actually happened today?”

 

Legosi scratched at the back of his head, trying to rewind his memory to the bad part of the day. [Louis just got attacked. I was nearby, we’d been visiting our friend’s memorial, so he called me for help. I fought the jaguar off, I ran Louis across campus to the infirmary, but that was it! I was just taking care of Louis!]

 

Legosi wanted to groan.

 

Jack groaned for him, “ Okay . It’s fine. It’s fine, we can handle this. I can be there, I can help - translate and advocate! We’ll take care of it together.”

 

Legosi gulped. [Can you give me a few minutes?]

 

Jack frowned. “Yeah, of course. Why, what’s wrong?”

 

The wolf fidgeted with his smart phone. [I think I should … text my girlfriend.]

 

Jack blinked rapidly. He quoted him in sign, [You want to text your girlfriend?]

 

Well, he meant Haru and Louis both. But he wasn’t sure how he should explain that part yet. 

 

Legosi nodded.

 

[ Your girlfriend ??]

 

The labrador got even closer.

 

Both of their tails were wagging. 

 

Legosi started stepping back. [Yes, I need to text her, so stop! I’ll, I’ll explain it all in a bit!]

 

Jack started celebrating with Durham even as Legosi tried to hide behind the privacy curtain of his bed. 

……

Morning saw Legosi being escorted by Jack and Haru both. 

 

In front, the pintsize rabbit was striding through the school offices like she owned the place, like everyone should be paying attention to her and her alone - right now, this second. Ignore the two canids behind her, she was the one who mattered.

 

Haru pushed through the door of Principal Gon’s office and spoke right up, “Let’s get one thing straight! Legosi is a damn hero, and if you’re going to punish him for saving a life, then we are absolutely ready to take this to every reporter in the city! ‘Disabled carnivore expelled by school for saving heir to Horns’! I would love to read that on every street corner, wouldn’t you?”

 

Jack concurred, “It’s a lovely headline, yes. Powerful. The school PR club is eagerly awaiting to hear more of the facts, they want to know what happens to Legosi. They’re already writing rough drafts.”

 

The tiger didn’t raise his voice, though his face was certainly surprised. 

 

He held up one hand defensively, “A great story, yes, but a tad premature… Legosi is not being punished.”

 

Haru’s mouth was already open and prepared to launch into the next part of her planned tirade. She stopped.

 

She eyed up the tiger with suspicious eyes. “He’s not?”

 

Principal Gon leaned back in his chair. He looked instead at the large wolf, who was clearly showing his discomfort.

 

The tiger stated, “Feel free to have a seat, all of you. This isn’t a bad conversation. But it is an important one, and one I thought we had best discuss sooner rather than later. Jack, you I recognize. Your name, madame?”

 

She scrambled up to stand on one chair, then crossed her arms. “Haru, the dwarf rabbit. Whatever you want to say to Legosi, you can say to us. We’re his witnesses and advocates for whatever this is about.”

 

Jack took a seat, looking professional, legal. Legosi sat, too, but he still looked unnerved.

 

The tiger took a sip from his morning coffee mug. “You’re uncomfortable. I see that. I’ll get right to the point then. This is about the school Beastar.”

 

Legosi frowned. He signed and Jack interpreted, [What do you mean? What’s wrong with Louis? He’s supposed to be coming back this week, right?]

 

The principal responded, “No, no. I don’t mean Louis. I haven’t yet heard from Louis or his family beyond his temporary absence. Tell me, you’re familiar with the name ‘Wolf Demon,’ yes?”

 

Legosi grit his teeth and nodded.

 

Principal Gon tried to be polite, “May I see your neck for myself?”

 

The wolf tensed. He was careful about untying the usual scarf from his neck, so the tiger could see the huge scars.

 

The principal nodded as if to himself. “Yes, those scars would be rather identifiable. But, that’s beside the point. For better or worse, for truth or fiction, you have attracted the eye of the student body. Your run across campus, carrying the injured Louis the red deer, has seemingly cemented a certain opinion. There are photos and everything … You looked quite formidable with your shirt all bloodied. Dangerous. Very stern. Everyone across campus was talking about it last night. They’re saying the Wolf Demon is the Guardian Demon of Cherryton. It’s all quite poetic. …Like Louis, a sizable group of the students are calling for you to be nominated as a Beastar.”

 

Legosi screamed inside his head.

Chapter 22: To be a star

Summary:

Principal Gon has receipts.

Notes:

As always, comments are appreciated. :)

Legosi was pacing rapidly in the principal’s office. 

 

Haru had actually sat down now. Jack was trying to interpret for Legosi, but Legosi kept turning around.

 

[This cannot be right. This can’t be right. It can’t be! I can’t be a Beastar. I’m me! I can’t even talk!]

 

The principal sipped his coffee. “On the contrary, the Beastar is a social position, but that does not mean it requires speeches or even speech. There is more than one way to lead or communicate. For instance, the current Sublime Beastar almost never makes an appearance to the media anymore…”

 

“…Becoming a Beastar reflects leadership qualities, a sort of popularity and recognizability - to be loved or at least respected by others. The qualities that define a Beastar are determined by the people themselves. Where a person goes from there is up to them. The student body likes you - or at the very least, they like the idea of you. Ergo, they want you to be nominated.”

 

Legosi scratched hard at his head. Jack interpreted when Legosi protested, [But I’m not actually a demon! I’m nothing special at all, I just do a lot of training! I’ve only even been here half a year!]

 

Haru scoffed, “Legosi, you aren’t allowed to talk like that! You are absolutely damn special - Louis and I both know it! Louis is in the running to be nominated, too! He’d know if you were special or not!”

 

Legosi kept pacing, kept huffing every so often.

 

The principal noted, “It is customary to make the nomination in the student’s final year of education. Most of the benefits actually occur after a person’s graduation. There’s special training, and opportunities. Colleges love to accept a Beastar. As such, if you even were nominated - and I am offering no final answer on that - it wouldn’t be for another year at least…” 

 

“…As Miss Haru pointed out, the school is currently considering Louis the red deer, since he is in his senior year. You may be taking advanced classes with him, but you are, officially, just a junior. Either way, whether you think you are special or not, and whether the rumor mill is accurate or not, the student body thinks they know you. That’s enough.”

 

Legosi complained, [What do they know? What do they think they know? I haven’t done anything!]

 

Jack interpreted that with a touch more professionalism.

 

The tiger brought up some page on his computer screen. “Now, some of the things I’m about to mention, I expressly do not want you to confirm or comment. Some of them are violations of school rules. I don’t want to have to punish you, I don’t want to know if they’re true. The truth doesn’t matter - only the appearances of it. But it’s good you want to know what they’re saying, so I’ll go down my list…” 

 

THERE’S A LIST?!

 

“…The change to Adler is the earliest one I can directly tie to you as a real person. Now, I understand that Louis broke his leg, but the plot of Adler is well-known. It’s a school tradition. Your sudden appearance is synonymous with the change to the script. You fought a large breed carnivore, and thoroughly defeated him in front of everyone…”  

 

“…So they’re saying that the alteration to the plot was actually a challenge. They’re saying that you and the drama club were making a statement to the entire student body - that you, the guardian demon, were here and you intended to confront the status quo. That you were going to stop the devourings, bring Tem’s murderer to justice with your incredible strength.”

 

Legosi looked at Jack in shock, [They got that?! How the hell did they get all that?! All I did was fight Bill and yell at Louis!!]

 

Jack didn’t interpret that part at all.

 

The principal kept going, “They say the devourings didn’t continue because of you. At first I thought this was just in regard to your display on stage, that you perhaps scared off the killer, but people are saying you appear in the night, to protect the vulnerable. Different people say they’ve seen you escorting smaller students at night, or even taking care of injured ones…”

 

“…Some reports say they were just small, solitary and alone. Someone said a person was limping with you, or that they saw you carry someone. There are a lot of little stories like that. In addition to your scars, you are, after all, the only large breed carnivore on campus who routinely wears a scarf. You’re identifiable. You definitely ran Louis across campus. And fast. I saw the video.”

 

THERE’S A VIDEO?!

 

Legosi hit his own head several times.

 

I mean it’s technically true, but that was just with Louis! … and Els … and Haru and … some of the drama club… Aaaaggggh!

 

The principal continued, “They also say you appear suddenly to defend the bullied - whether it’s herbivores or carnivores, day or night. That it doesn’t matter who the enemy or the victim is. You stand with the oppressed, and punish the abuser. I think someone mentioned a female wolf, and … no, these students didn’t elaborate further. Yesterday was mentioned. I know that was you. It sounds like you broke the jaguar’s knee. Mind you, he tried to kill Louis, but … I’m sure it wasn’t expressly your intent to break his knee. Self-defense comes into play regardless.”

 

Did it really count as ‘bullying,’ when the jaguar tried to eat Louis?

 

Legosi felt haunted by that image, of finding the red deer on the ground and a limb in danger of being bitten off.

 

Legosi tried to explain to Jack, [I just wanted to stop him from escaping! He wanted to kill Louis! He needed to be suspended, arrested - something!]

 

Legosi remembered being scared that day when Haru was getting harassed. He showed up then, too. 

 

There was that day when Juno was getting ganged up on as well.

 

The principal added, “Some people are saying you appear mild-mannered and congenial, that you’re polite and helpful, but you can turn into a ‘berserk warrior’ at the drop of a hat. That you’ve fought off people even when outnumbered, overpowered. That you’re a dangerously strong carnivore, even stronger than you already look. They say the stage fight in Adler was just a small taste of your real abilities.”

 

Legosi complained to Jack, [I have PTSD! That was just - I had a panic attack! That stuff doesn’t count!]

 

Jack acknowledged, “But you really are way stronger than you look. You’re - really dense, like your grandfather.”

 

The principal also pointed out, “There’s also the matter of class participation. You’re in some advanced classes, and some people seem to think you’re some kind of quiet genius. I checked, and your grades are fairly high, but I’m unsure if I’d say they qualify you as a genius. No offense meant. Genius is an overused term anyway. I saw some file about recent health concerns as well. Again, it’s the appearance of the thing that matters, not always the reality…”

 

“…And there are some reports about your proximity to Louis the red deer. This is taken as a good thing, that perhaps Louis is training you to be a Beastar, his successor, or you’re his secret bodyguard. I know he’s officially your interpreter in some of your classes. But someone reported an incident in the cafeteria, you interrupted a fight, and - Louis was involved? I only received one account on that, but they were quite adamant. They said that Louis stopped you from, I quote, ‘kicking their asses right then and there’.”

 

Legosi paced to the nearest wall, and started knocking his forehead against it.

 

Haru finally asked the principal, “So what does this all mean for Legosi? You said he’s not in trouble, but - it sounds like some people are certainly trying to get him in trouble anyway.”

 

The tiger leaned in with his coffee mug in hand. “Perhaps it would be better to say that nothing here is ‘ actionable .’ I would like it to stay that way, yes. As you were so kind to point out, punishing a courageous carnivore - one who was caught on camera, running the injured heir to Horns for immediate medical attention - that would be quite a front page story. I have no interest in reading such a scandal about Cherryton. Yet, whenever there is a clamor such as this, it demands a response from the school’s governance. This is that response. Clearly, it is not the kind of attention that Legosi desires.”

 

Legosi tried to emote with his face, to say, ‘ You think?!’

 

The principal asked outright then. “Legosi, do you want to be a Beastar?”

 

Haru scoffed, “You’re damn right, he does!”

 

Legosi waved his arms wildly, [No, I do not! I do not!!]

 

Jack cleared his throat, “That’s a no, sir. That’s a big no.”

 

The tiger glanced between the tall wolf and the small rabbit. “I’m sensing some disagreement. Regardless, this is not something that needs to be decided this moment. As I stated, it would be another year before the school actively considers a nomination. But you need to be aware of what is going on around Cherryton right now. Legosi, as of this moment, the student body imagines you a hero…” 

 

“…If you were interested in becoming a Beastar, then we the school would give you more attention. There are benefits, and responsibilities, to the position. If you wish to avoid this, then the school will not formally acknowledge you. If you are absolutely dead set against becoming a Beastar, there are certainly ways to withdraw…”

 

“…You could let the flames burn themselves out. But we cannot simultaneously give you our formal blessing and also allow you to shame the school with delinquency. I’m sure you understand that. So, take some time. Think about it. But, be aware: there are many eyes on you now. Maybe avoid further acts of heroism, because you could find that, one day, you no longer have a say in the matter.”

 

Legosi breathed, heavy as could be. 

 

He finally just asked, [Are you going to tell my family?]

 

The tiger was weirdly amused when Jack relayed that. Principal Gon stated, “Tell them what? You saved someone’s life? That there are rumors about you? Cherryton is fairly elite, but it’s still a high school. You are all still students. There are always going to be rumors. I merely make an effort to listen to them as much as I can. Much goes on within these walls that has nothing to do with a gradebook…” 

 

“…A student’s youth is a harsh time for anyone, of any species or gender. You have to study for tests, you could fall in love, you invariably question your own worth, and you become ever more at odds with your feral instincts. This is why Cherryton has not nominated a Beastar in five years. I feel it is … asking too much of our nation’s youth. A Beastar is not made. They are simply found. I would like it if our students could remain just students for as long as possible.”

 

Legosi was rubbing at his neck again. His heart was beating too fast. He managed just enough courage to ask, [Can I take the day off from my classes? I’m not going to be able to pay attention like this. This is too heavy for me to deal with classes right now.]

 

Jack relayed that for him, as always. 

 

The principal agreed readily, “Take the day. I understand completely. This is a very serious matter, and I’m glad you recognize the gravity of it. I’ll have my secretary inform your teachers regarding the absence. But, I really must ask: Jack? Haru? I appreciate your concern for your classmate, but, please do not be so quick to talk to the media. That is a bell you cannot unring.”

 

Jack sheepishly lowered his head.

 

Haru just looked more resolute. “Legosi may be quiet, but I’m not. If I don’t like the way he’s being treated, I’ll get a gong.”

 

The principal chuckled at that. But something else was weighing on his mind. When Legosi started to leave, the tiger quickly added, “There is one more thing.”

 

Legosi looked like he really didn’t want to hear ‘one more thing.’

 

The principal stood up then, and let his face convey the severity to all three of them. “Whether or not you are ever nominated as a Beastar, there is another story winding through the school gossip. This is - troubling, and dangerously relevant for what happened to the two of you yesterday. You deserve to hear it, Legosi…”

 

“…You see, the jaguar you fought has repeatedly insisted that he just lost control - that he was hungry, and that’s why he attacked Louis. But he presented none of the actual symptoms associated with that when the medical staff examined him. No loss of clarity, no signs of meat withdrawal. He wasn’t even drooling. He was very clearly in full control of his faculties. As such, it is likely his attack on Louis was premeditated.”

 

The wolf stood up, spine straight, focused like a laser. [What do you mean by that?]

 

The dean explained seriously, “I mean this: it is likely that some carnivores on campus wish Louis fatal harm. The jaguar is only one. The rumor goes that if Louis becomes the first Cherryton Beastar in five years, that the social status of carnivores will diminish further. They wish to avoid this…”

 

“…That part is understandable. Carnivores have an unfortunate history of being mistreated for the crimes of others. But the belief that killing Louis will affect positive change? That is … fanatical. The rumor goes, if Louis is removed from the picture this year, then Cherryton will have no choice but to nominate you next year. Carnivores gain instead of lose.”

 

Legosi clenched his fists hard. [What if I left? What if I wasn’t here anymore? I could drop out, go to another school. My family wouldn’t mind if I could keep being home schooled!]

 

The principal shook his head. “The ball is already rolling. If you leave, Louis will still likely be a target of aggression. He likely has been all year, maybe even before you started here. Louis’ father was certainly concerned for his safety already. Louis is - small, relatively, for a red deer. He received special dispensation for Louis to carry a gun for his self-defense. It might be macabre to say it, but his attacker was lucky. Louis would have been in his rights to shoot him dead…”

 

“…Louis was lucky, too, though. He had you to save him. Louis is, in all likelihood, safer with you around him. …I apologize, I shouldn’t have said that out loud. This entire matter should not be something you have to consider. I would like for you to have a pleasant time here at Cherryton. I would like for you to just be students, just young men and women. But events are spiraling around you and Louis now. I am sorry that we can only shield you from so much…”

…… 

Legosi was first to leave the room. Jack followed attentively. 

 

Haru gave a final glare at the tiger, then strutted out.

 

Jack asked when they were out in the hall, “What now, Legosi? I should probably go to my classes, but … are you going to be okay?”

 

Legosi signed fast, [I don’t know. I really don’t.]

 

Haru nudged the wolf’s side. “Well, I don’t need to go to class. I’m small. They probably won’t even miss me. …We could head up to the garden for a while? You said something about - short term tasks help? We always have things to do up there.”

 

Legosi nodded submissively. He was already exhausted. [It’s as good a plan as any…]

……

Haru waited a bit, for the pair of them to get away, up to their rooftop sanctuary.

 

People were definitely whispering when Legosi went by. It was just like that first morning after Adler .

 

She knew she needed to say it soon though. Her rabbit ears were hanging a little low when she apologized, “I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable back there, Legosi.” 

 

The wolf turned to her and frowned.

 

Haru had to admit, “I know you don’t like standing out. I just got really excited for you in there. I was … actually glad to hear the principal say all that stuff. Cause the stuff he mentioned? It’s why I like you. I’m sure Louis would have said so, too, if he was in there. You’re helpful. Caring. You’re really strong, but you have a tendency to put others first. But you wanted me to be your advocate in there, not your boss. It’s not my place to say how public or private you should be. I guess I got caught up in the moment…” 

 

“…You wouldn’t want to have all those eyes on you; of course you wouldn’t, you’re Legosi. You’re already a great guy. You don’t need to attract as much attention as Louis to be great either. So … there. I wanted to apologize. Cause, you’re great, and you should know you’re great, but you don’t need me telling you what you should do. Urgh, I’m talking myself in circles again. Any time, Legosi? You just - cut in here anytime, okay?”

 

Legosi held his phone for a moment. He tried to think of what he really wanted, of what he wanted to say. The therapist had helped with that a little. Legosi didn’t have enough answers, didn’t know what or how he should do things for tomorrow. 

 

But he knew what he wanted, for right now.

 

Legosi finally wrote out, {After everything that’s happened, I’m just really tired. Would it be inappropriate to ask … if we can just cuddle for a while? Like we did last night with Louis? It made me feel better.}

 

Haru was smiling away at his innocence. “Sure, Legosi. Let’s cuddle in the club room…”

……

The big wolf fell asleep with surprising ease. He thought he might have been bothered by the other scents in the club room, but it’d been a very concerning 24 hours.

 

He smelled Haru and Louis in that bed, and his nose automatically focused on them most.

 

Legosi laid on his back. Haru laid right up against his side, and she used one hand to slowly stroke his stomach.

 

The canid part of him was quite happy about that. His tail had been wagging, his left foot had even kicked a bit when she gave his stomach a few comforting scratches.

 

Haru’s presence made him feel calm and relaxed. She always carried the garden with her; the scent of it was infused in her clothes and her fur.

 

Legosi breathed slowly in his sleep.

 

Haru shifted just a bit on the bed, to carefully take out her phone. She started texting Louis, trying to catch him up with everything that had happened in the meeting with the principal.

 

Louis was trying to be considerate, {How exactly did he take all that?}

 

Haru grit her teeth. {Badly. I can’t exactly confirm even half of the things that the principal brought up, but it clearly wasn’t Legosi’s intent to be noticed.}

 

Louis laughed in his bed in Oguma’s mansion. {No, definitely not. Legosi is just quick to help people. I’m not sure if he even thinks about the fallout, but … I do wonder how much the PTSD plays into that. } 

 

Louis wasn’t sure if he should tell her, but there wasn’t much reason to hide it now. He added, {I was the one who was limping. It was late at night, and one of the club members fell on my leg. Legosi helped get me back to the herbivore dorm. He even used one of his scarves to bandage my ankle. And, I did step in that day at the cafeteria, but it wasn’t because I thought Legosi would hurt anyone. Legosi looked like he was in trouble, and … he might have been having a panic attack. I felt like I had to make it up to him. Maybe I was feeling guilty. He helped me the night before, so I helped Legosi then.}

 

Haru did some thinking of her own. {There was a day when I was being picked on by these jerks. They were my size, not yours. It was just girl drama, but I finally had enough and started chewing them out. I thought I scared them off at first, but I’m pretty sure it was Legosi. He came running - probably cause he was worried - and then the jerks ran away in fear. Legosi has definitely been my escort here and there.}

 

Louis added, {Yeah, I think he’s escorted people from the drama club, too. He’s always been a helper. That’s who he is. I think he tries so hard to avoid people thinking he’s a “dumb, violent carnivore,” that he goes out of his way to help people.}

 

Haru hesitated to ask, but it felt relevant. {Have you actually seen Legosi fight before? Like, for real?}

 

Louis wondered how to phrase it. {…Yes. A few times before, but just yesterday, too. With the jaguar. When he fights, Legosi is … really fierce. I don’t know if that’s because he’s a carnivore, or because of the PTSD. He’s fast, strong, and terrifying. His grandpa has been teaching him how to fight for years, so he’d feel safer - after he got attacked as a kid, I mean. I don’t think it actually worked out that way. But the therapy and the medicine seemed to have made him feel a bit better the last few weeks.}

 

Haru tried to imagine seeing Legosi in action for real. There was a curious moment where she instinctively imagined standing with him, and Louis, too. 

 

Haru texted over, {Maybe I should ask Legosi for self-defense lessons. Then I can help him out, the next time something dangerous happens to him.}

 

Louis texted right back, {LOL.}

 

Haru glared at him through her phone. {Watch it, bambi. I could be fierce if I wanted to.}

 

Louis replied, {Haru. Haru, you’re like 15 kg. Legosi can probably do bicep curls with your entire body. If Legosi himself is ever in physical danger, I highly doubt you could fight by his side.}

 

Haru grumbled to herself. She finally texted two words back to him.

 

{Challenge accepted.}

Chapter 23: Rabbit kungfu?

Summary:

In which I foreshadow absolutely nothing

Notes:

Comments are appreciated as always. :)

Legosi signed [No.]

 

Jack sat quietly on the garden bench. He munched on his sandwich for lunch, glancing back and forth between wolf and rabbit.

 

Legosi was trying to eat the carnivore meal that Jack had brought him from the cafeteria.

 

Haru was not easily dissuaded. “What do you mean, ‘no’? Everyone keeps saying you’re a great fighter!”

 

Legosi looked to Jack for help, to interpret for him as he signed, [Just because I know how to fight doesn’t mean that’s helped. My grandpa has been training me for years, but most of the times I’ve got in a fight, I could have found another way. I don’t want to fight. But I’ve panicked and hurt people anyway. If I didn’t know how to fight, people would be better off.]

 

Haru was quick to correct him, “The jaguar yesterday was trying to kill Louis - actually, actively, kill . Louis is alive because you knew how to fight for him. The principal made it sound like there could be even more carnivores like him. You can’t be around Louis 24/7, and neither can I. Louis is going to come back, but who knows how long his arm is going to be out of commission. So! The best thing we can do, as a group, is know how to protect him better.”

 

Legosi paced back and forth. He shoved another bite of the sandwich in his mouth. [I’m not a teacher.]

 

Haru shot back, “I don’t need you to be a great teacher. I just need to know how to fight like you.”

 

Legosi’s face hardened, serious and uncomfortable. [I can’t teach you to fight like me.]

 

Haru was groaning before Jack finished interpreting even half the sentence. “Yes, you can! Legosi, you’re the best fighter any of us know! If you actually take the time, I’m sure you can do it!”

 

Legosi shook his head, waving his arms. [Wait wait wait. No. You don’t understand. I can’t teach you to fight - ‘ like me’ . I’m a large breed carnivore, a wolf. You’re a rabbit. We can’t fight in the same ways. The amount of force a person can generate is dependent in part by their weight and mass. This is why squirrels can survive falls from tremendous heights without injury, but an old elephant can trip and shatter something…]

 

[…You are a 15 kg rabbit. I’m … a lot more than that. A lot more. You can’t change being a rabbit anymore than I can stop being a wolf. Most large breed carnivores are going to have at least six times your mass, maybe even seven or eight times. If you’re serious about self-defense, you have to fight in your own way, not my way. You have to fight smarter. Part of self-defense is knowing when you can fight, and when you can’t. Most fights are determined before anyone throws the first punch.]

 

Haru looked grumpy but she seemed to accept that. “Okay then. What determines a fight? Let’s start with that.”

 

Legosi looked to Jack, [Are you going to be okay with interpreting all this? You have class soon, don’t you?]

 

Haru smirked, “Hey, I’m getting better at reading sign! I’m pretty sure I got most of that one!”

 

Legosi still gave her a smile for trying.

 

Jack swallowed his food. “I can interpret for another five or ten minutes, then I should get going.”

 

Legosi finally relented, [Okay… I’ll try to make this fast then.]

 

Haru pretended to zip her lips. “No interruptions, I’m all ears. Er, 30% ears.”

 

Legosi gave a small breathy laugh at her comment. He started explaining, [I don’t know if it’s true for herbivores, but all carnivores will rapidly assess certain aspects of a person’s body. Height, weight, tooth and claw sizes… It’s not a strict metric, but just taking those into account lets you rapidly size up your chances in a fight. The bigger you are, the better - the more force you can apply in combat. I’ve always been big-bodied, so I’ve always had a slight advantage compared to another carnivore my age…]

 

[…But physical conditioning is probably even more important than that stuff. How much you exercise, how much you lift, your stamina and speed. That takes time to build up - months or years, not days. My grandpa has been teaching me how to train all that for years, so again, I have an advantage there. Most carnivores don’t even train for combat, they don’t actively train for a fight. Most times, they just lose their cool, their instincts get away from them. Proportionately, there’s no guarantee that even I could win against a bigger, battle hardened carnivore…]

 

[…Then there’s species to consider. A species group has inherent factors that could be dangerous, that could sway a fight. Felines tend to be faster. Some reptiles can be venomous. Some birds can scream so loud, it could burst your eardrums, give you vertigo. Some herbivores have dangerously powerful limbs, like horses, or have deadly antlers and horns like Louis. Other times, with a species like bears or elephants, they’re so much bigger and stronger than everyone, it’s best to just run away…]

 

[…and I cannot stress enough that sometimes - no matter who you are - running can be the best answer to a fight: to not fight at all, to run, to call for help, or to keep other people around you. Having others with you can help to dissuade someone from picking a fight at all, or end one that’s already going. But when you have no choice, when a fight is unavoidable, my grandpa always told me to focus on a few things…]

 

[…Don’t hold back. Use anything you can. If you can, deny them their own strengths. Speed is power, speed is key. You need to be faster than your enemy, act sooner, maybe even act first. And the ground is death. You do not want to be wrestling on the ground with a carnivore. It’s so much harder to dodge or get away from their fangs and claws. So many carnivores are just … super deadly if they can get you underneath them. It’s what happened to Louis. It’s the weight and power of the whole body behind all those weapons, and gravity.]

 

Haru raised her hand, “Wait, hold on. Use anything? Like, mace or a taser? I could use those, no problem. I think I’ve got pepper spray around here somewhere…”

 

Legosi nodded, [Yeah, definitely. That’s what I mean about fights being determined by preparation. If you have a weapon, it makes a huge difference. But when I say ‘use anything,’ it’s even more than stuff like that. If there’s a way to stay alive, but people could say it’s ‘dishonorable’? Don’t hold back. You use it. Kick under the belt, yank their tail, stomp their toes, throw something in their eyes, anything to stay alive. It’s about recognizing your environment, and weaponizing it. Making it work for you. Like … how many weapons are in the garden?]

 

Haru and Jack both looked around fast. Haru spoke first, “Well, the garden shears would definitely count. They’re a bit unwieldy for me, but they’re basically giant blades.”

 

Jack pointed out, “Oh, you have some shovels over there! And - I think that’s a metal rake? I guess if you swung it fast enough, it might stab someone? Actually, I’m not sure if that would work…”

 

Legosi nodded, [That’s a start. The club room also has some small knives, scissors. But it’s more than that. If you’re desperate, even the shirt off your back could be used to unbalance or distract your opponent, if you’re lucky. Some of the flower pots are heavy, hardened clay. The garden hose has reach and a weighted metal end, you could use it like rope. Sometimes you have to be creative like that, you have to think fast. Some of the plants here are stiff, some of the walls are stone. If you got a horned animal to run into the stone wall, their horns might break. That could deny them their strength, and it’s probably going to hurt…]

 

[…Stairs are big, too. If you can push or trip someone down the stairs, you can get gravity to work for you. The bigger they are, the more gravity can hurt them. The roses over there have thorns. It would take a freak accident for them to kill a person, but with enough thorns or splinters, they could weaken the attacker, hurt them, make them think twice about actually fighting or giving chase. At the very least, it might buy you time for something else - maybe just to run away, or to get help. Again, running away is sometimes the best thing you can do.]

 

Haru remembered, “And you said speed is key. Which … would have changed things for Louis yesterday, if he could have gotten to his gun in time.”

 

Legosi grimaced. [Yes. And sometimes … sometimes it’s just a matter of luck. It really is. Even as good as I am, after all I’ve done to train, it only takes one unlucky moment for everything to go bad. Fighting is inherently a risk, and should be your very last resort. Our animal bodies are all so different, we all have strengths and weaknesses. The PTSD has made me panic and make bad decisions. I only needed to be bit once for my whole life to change forever. You should want to avoid a fight as much as possible.]

 

Haru clapped her hands. “Right! Then fighting smarter it is! I have a plan! Mace! A taser. Maybe some gun training like Louis - the principal might let me carry one like him - and running! I’m going to run more for exercise! I’m small, but I can probably use that to my advantage. It’s force and gravity, right? If I’m significantly smaller than a large carnivore, then it’d probably be easier for me to change direction on the fly. I might be able to survive a bigger fall, too - not that I’m gonna jump off a building or anything. But I climb these stairs every day, so I’ve already got good legs! I’ll just work on building up my stamina, going faster and farther in the meantime. Hmm. Maybe I should look into parkour…”

 

Legosi actually gave a breathy laugh at her infectious confidence. [Well, I do usually go for a run after we finish with the garden…] 

 

Jack started to interpret, but Haru cheered for herself because, “I actually understood all of that! Yes! [I sign more good! Right?]”

 

Legosi squatted down low, so he could give her a quick kiss. [I love you, Haru.]

 

Haru’s little nose twitched happily. She signed back, [I love you, too.]

…… 

Haru was nearly falling over, heaving for breath. “What was I - thinking?! This - was a - bad idea! This was a terrible - idea - ahhghh!”

 

Legosi was jogging beside her, but the vast difference in their stride meant Haru had been running as fast as she could for a while. He only had to take one step for three of hers. Wolves were better built for long distance running.

 

Legosi slowed down on purpose to stay with Haru, but she gestured for a time-out so they stopped entirely.

 

Haru put her hands on her knees, “Okay. O. Kay. Keeping up with you. Big wolf? Too far. Bad plan. I’m dying. I’m dying. I’m dead.”

 

She flopped back on her butt, still trying to catch her breath. 

 

Legosi squatted down near her, as if to provide moral support. He still had that amused expression on his face, like just trying to be with him had made him happy. His tail swayed with quiet contentment. Legosi asked her, [Do you want my help?]

 

The rabbit nodded twice. “Yes. Oh yeah. Help would be - great. How much, uh, further do you usually run?”

 

Legosi held up some fingers.

 

The rabbit frowned, “Is that minutes? … Kilometers?? You actually run - that far?! Each day?!”

 

Legosi nodded with some slight embarrassment about it, his modesty was showing.

 

Haru just flopped back on the ground. “Leave me for the bugs. They shall accept me as their flower queen.”

 

Legosi gave a breathy laugh, then waved to get her attention. He half signed, half gestured, [May I pick you up?]

 

The rabbit rolled her eyes and gave in. “Fine. You can pick me up today. But I’m going to build up my stamina! I’m going to run just as far as you some day, so you keep that in mind! I’m not gonna let this size stuff hold me back!”

 

Legosi, with so much ease, lifted her all the way up onto his shoulders.

 

Haru still complained, “Whoa whoa whoa high! We’re high! Yeesh! So this is what it’s like for you big carnivore types. This is a view. Yeah. I have a view now. This is great. I like this. Is this the part where you tell me you’ve been holding back the whole time?”

 

Legosi shook his head (an obvious lie). His tail was still wagging happily.

 

Haru scratched between his ears. “I completely disbelieve you. Now get to running for real! I’m just, uh, gonna hold on up here. So anytime. You just start running for real, anytime here. Anytime. I’m just OH FUCKING REX YOU’RE FAST!!”

 

Haru cackled madly, holding on for dear life as Legosi started running and just never stopped.

…… 

When Louis sent the wolf a text, it was evening and Louis was still in his bed at the mansion. He decided to be just a little playful with it. {Hey there, stud. How was your day?}

 

Legosi found himself smiling immediately. He settled in behind the privacy curtain of his bed. 

 

Legosi’s tail still started wagging despite his objection, {That still sounds so weird from you.}

 

Louis just replied, {Well, Haru told me some things earlier. It sounds like you had a rough morning. I thought it might make you smile.}

 

Legosi was definitely still smiling. {It was certainly a lot to take in this morning. The afternoon was actually really nice though. Haru wanted to go with me on my daily run.}

 

Louis snorted. {Rex. She mentioned that, but seriously? Her stride is what, a third of your own? How did that go?}

 

Legosi’s tail started wagging faster at the memory. {It was actually really fun. I jogged slowly with her at the start. She got farther than I expected. Then I asked to pick her up for the rest. I put her up on my shoulders, and - I think she had fun with that, too. It’s hard to explain, but … I felt like myself, but in a good way. Like I could be my true self with her. Like … I was a real adult wolf. For the first time, I didn’t have to hold back with the girl I like. Does that make sense?}

 

Louis nodded along. {I think I know what you mean. Maybe it’s why I’m so self-conscious about my antlers. There are times I still feel like a little kid, like I’m not actually a real adult deer. I can pretend I feel otherwise, but - well, I’m not sure if I would have challenged Oguma if the two of you weren’t there with me. He’s always been so hard to read - distant - and he’s always pushed for perfection. I thought everything was business and numbers with him, that he just wanted an heir. I didn’t think he’d actually show up at the hospital at all.}

 

Legosi replayed that conversation with Oguma in his head. His left ear flicked. {That sounds rough. I never knew my dad, but I always had my grandpa. He’s pretty free with his affection. Sometimes it still feels weird not having him and mom around all the time. Jack helps me feel less lonely some days. But, on the subject of your dad … Haru said she filled you in on our meeting this morning, right?}

 

Louis acknowledged, {Yes. She mentioned the rumors, the good and the bad. I agree with Haru. People can tell you’re a good guy. You would make a great Beastar for Cherryton. You have a stronger presence than you think. But I understand why you wouldn’t want to be one.}

 

Legosi paused for a second. He was afraid to write it. {…Did she mention the part about the jaguar?}

 

Louis replied readily, {You mean that some carnivores want to kill me? Yes. I knew.}

 

Legosi automatically felt an unpleasant twinge. {Did you tell your dad yet?}

 

Legosi felt uncomfortable waiting for the response.

 

Louis just scoffed on the other side, {Absolutely not. I didn’t expect him to care that much about me being at Cherryton either, but the fact is, I’ve always known I would be a target. That’s part of being a public figure as an herbivore. I’m sure he knows that anyway. There are some bad people in the world. That’s a risk I accepted. The jaguar was just the first to really try to do something to me.}

 

Louis had started to type ‘There are some bad “carnivores” in the world,’ but he corrected himself before he sent that part of the message to Legosi.

 

Legosi still felt he had to apologize. {I’m sorry I made things worse for you.}

 

Louis replied fast, {Stop that.} A little longer, and a longer text arrived. {You've helped good people and fought bad people. You shouldn’t feel bad about that. I don’t want you to feel bad about that. You’re a good person. It’s honestly one of the things that’s so attractive about you. You’d be a great Beastar - probably better than me. I’ve been kind of specist, Legosi.}

 

Legosi didn’t focus on that last part. He asked instead, {You really think I’m attractive?}

 

Louis laughed when he got it - the innocence of it all. He could already imagine the wolf looking embarrassed. {Yes, Legosi. You’re very attractive. I haven’t even liked another guy in that way before. Are you going to double-check every time I give you a compliment?}

 

Legosi scratched at his neck. {I’m just not used to getting compliments from anybody but my family.}

 

Louis teased, {Well, you deserve a lot of compliments. I suppose I’ll just have to keep showering you with compliments every day.}

 

Legosi’s tail wagged faster. {I think I’d like that a lot. My therapist talked with me about these Five Love Languages - about the ways people give and share affection. I think I favor Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.}

 

Louis playfully warned him, {You’re going to make me look up these love language things, aren’t you? I’ll be trying not to embarrass myself too much, just so you know. I’m not used to complimenting a guy either.}

 

Legosi remembered what the deer said before, {And I’m really your first guy crush?}

 

Louis rolled his eyes. {Do I really have to say it again? Well, what about you? Who have you had a crush on?}

 

Legosi took a deeper breath. He admitted, {I like hearing you say it. It’s just really flattering. I've gone a long time thinking no one would be interested in me like that at all, not even other wolves. I don’t think I’ve ever felt like I belonged with carnivores or herbivores. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my feelings in the last few months. I don’t really have sexual feelings. Or I thought I didn’t? I still don’t know how to explain it well. I don’t think I’ve had a crush before on anyone. But I was homeschooled most my life…}

 

{…I’ve always thought you and Haru were pretty, even among other herbivores. All herbivores are prettier than carnivores … at least, that’s how I thought everybody felt. My therapist had to explain some things to me about that, too. And then I realized you two were together, and I didn’t think either of you would actually be interested in me. It’s like, the more time I’ve spent with you two, the more I feel … some kind of wanting. I want to be close to you two. Maybe that is sexual. I don’t know. Aoba thought I might be asexual or demisexual.}

 

Louis smirked. He teased back, {You think I’m pretty?}

 

Legosi got a bit flustered, {You’re gorgeous. You’re the prettiest guy in the whole school. You’re the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen. I thought you knew that. I thought everyone told you how pretty you are.}

 

Louis continued playfully, {Maybe I’m not used to being complimented by a big carnivore guy either. So if your feelings are changing - when you think of me now, what do you want to do with me, physically?}

 

Legosi had to think about that a moment. {I actually did like kissing you. That was new. I think I’d like to try that more. Canids tend to be rather touchy, but only with really close friends and family. I’m sure I want to hug you. I want to hold you. And I really liked cuddling with you and Haru yesterday. Haru and I cuddled this morning when I took a nap, and she rubbed my stomach - just to help me relax, because I was really upset then.}

 

Louis smiled at that mental image. {Oh really? And how did you feel about that?}

 

Legosi felt embarrassed. {Getting my stomach rubbed? …it made my leg bounce. Like, a lot, at first. So I think that’s a good sign. And she scratched between my ears, and that felt really nice, too. Those might be canid things, but I don’t know.}

 

Louis was pleased to imagine that. {So what I’m hearing is, I should shower you with compliments and physical affection every day. I can do that.}

 

Legosi felt bubbly and warm. {Please and thank you, Louis.}

 

Louis texted, {You’ve got it, hot stuff.}, just because he thought it’d make the wolf happy.

 

Legosi closed his eyes a moment, just trying to hold on to the new feeling in his chest. {Whatever else happens this year, whether you stay at Cherryton or not … I’m really glad we became friends.}

 

Louis shook his head. {You should get some sleep, Legosi. You’re getting all sentimental.}

 

Legosi typed back, {But I mean it.}

 

Louis insisted, {I know you do. I feel the same way. But it’s been an exhausting day for you, and I bet you didn’t sleep well last night. So you set that phone aside, and get a good long rest.}

 

The wolf rolled over in bed, but he kept his phone close. {Sleep tight, Louis. Come back soon.}

 

Two minutes.

 

Legosi lasted two minutes before he shot up in bed. He texted again, {Louis. Are you still up?}

 

Another moment, and the deer replied, {Yeah? What’s wrong? I thought you were going to sleep.}

 

Legosi typed fast. {Do you remember when you asked me, if you had to worry about Bill? If he was safe?}

 

{…Yes?}

 

Legosi remembered, {The principal said something about the jaguar not showing any signs of hunger, addiction or loss of control - stuff you’d expect from a feral carnivore. So I looked up the symptoms earlier today on my phone.}

 

{Ok? Where are you going with this?}

 

Legosi started second-guessing himself already. He was slower about writing, {There was a point when we were near the back alley market, when Bill actually did get excited about eating a, well … a fresh piece of meat. But it was really small, and Bill was, um, super excited about just having a tiny bite.}

 

Louis frowned more. {I’m not hearing how he’s safe, Legosi. That sounds really bad.}

 

Legosi huffed once and scratched his neck anxiously. {I’m not explaining it well, sorry. What I mean is, Bill was excited about something really small and inconsequential. If Bill devoured Tem, he wouldn’t have been that excited. It wouldn’t have satisfied him at all. Bill didn’t show any symptoms either. Bill was acting like … a meat virgin? I think that’s the term. It would have been like trying to tempt him with a french fry after dining with royalty or something.}

 

Louis typed, logically, {That’s still a big jump to conclude he’s safe. I said he’s been behaving better, but still. A person doesn’t need to be a meat junkie to want to hurt someone. So if the principal is right about more carnivores wanting to hurt me…}

 

Legosi swallowed. {I don’t want to take risks with your safety. I just … I thought I should tell you. I guess the real question is: is Bill the kind of person to deal with a threat quietly, or make a show of beating it himself?} 

 

Louis hesitated. {…That’s … valid. But it’s late, Legosi. We can talk about this more tomorrow. You have classes. Try to dream good things, Legosi. Tomorrow will be a better day.}

Notes:

For the record, the Five Love Languages are Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Gift Giving, Acts of Service, and Quality Time. They are a fantastic baseline for couples counseling and understanding relationships - romantic or otherwise. I highly recommend everyone glance at some reading, when they have some time.

This has been another mental health moment with TherBear lol.

Tune in next time for 500 beastbook friend requests and the return of the fencing team bakers. :)

Chapter 24: You're It

Summary:

Legosi tries to get through his first day as the Guardian Demon of Cherryton.

A scene from Chapter 52 (of the manga) shows up a little earlier.

Notes:

As always, comments are very much appreciated. :)

Also, major shout-out to "C," who actually drew fanart of the last chapter! I totally geeked out about it and I still am.

 

Someone wants my autograph.

 

My autograph .

 

The world has gone mad.

 

When morning came, Legosi was prepared for some additional attention in the dining hall, even though he had his roommates with him. Jack, Collot, Miguno and Durham formed a little wall around him. Voss tried to be helpful from Collot’s shoulder. 

 

Popularity was still an uncomfortable experience for the wolf, but Legosi was a little more prepared for it this time than after his performance in Adler . Jack was his faithful right hand, interpreting (or making up) Legosi’s lines to deflect and dissuade the excitable masses.

 

Legosi just wanted his breakfast. Eating a lot gave him an excuse to not be replying to people.

 

Then he went to his classes as usual - minus Louis.

 

A short dog practically jumped into Louis’ usual seat, cutting off a bird. Legosi didn’t know either of their names.

 

He could have sworn a sloth - moving slowly up the stairs - was also trying to get that seat.

 

And then there was Beastbook. That was its own degree of shock for Legosi. The gray wolf didn’t really use the app that much, but didn’t everyone have a page these days? One of the prosimian students asked Legosi in person about accepting a friend request between classes, so he opened the app.

 

Legosi just about choked when he saw how many new friend requests he’d gotten in the last 24 hours.

 

The world is insane.

 

Insane!

 

People kept tagging him in photos, Beastbook kept asking him to verify if an image was of him (some newly posted photos were from several months past), and Legosi quickly decided he wasn’t going to look at his Beastbook for a few more days. 

 

By lunch time, Legosi honestly wasn’t sure if he was serious or joking when he texted Louis, {Save me.}

 

He could already imagine the red deer rolling his eyes at that.

 

Louis sent back one of those laughing emojis. Then Louis replied, {Time for me to stage a jailbreak?}

 

Legosi wrote back, {Yes, please.}

 

Louis asked, {How bad is it?}

 

Legosi started, {You remember those two guys from the fencing team? The ones who were trying to recruit me before? With baked goods?}

 

Louis wondered, {Yeah? Are they at it again?}

 

Legosi explained incredulously, {They’ve already made cupcakes. They have little stick-figure wolves carrying stick-figure deers, on all of them. All of them! They have little antlers!!}

 

Louis snorted in his bed at home. {They do not.}

 

Legosi took a picture and sent it to him.

 

Louis laughed for real, and hurt his arm in the process. {That fox is wasted in the fencing team! What does he do, use one of those tiny plastic appetizer swords to decorate with? He needs to just join the cooking club already.}

 

Legosi tilted his head. {Cherryton has a cooking club?}

 

Louis smirked. {It’s a big school, Legosi. It has a lot of clubs. You never looked at the list?}

 

Legosi answered, {No. I was invited to join the drama club before I even got on campus. The scout said something about channeling our lived experiences into drama. I always liked theater - or, the idea of it at least. Working for the stage crew sounded fun. I’d get to watch how it all gets put together, without having to actually be in the light myself.}

 

An odd thought itched at the back of Louis’ mind. {Considering how it all went for you … if you had the chance to do it over, would you have turned the club down? You wouldn’t have to deal with all this attention now, or the problems with Bill. And, me, being an ass.}

 

Legosi didn’t need to think about it. {I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I met you and Haru because of it. I know you’ve changed a lot, you said I had to call you out on some things, but … I always thought you were pretty. And I really like who you are now. So the two of you are worth all the bad stuff I’ve had to get through to get here.}

 

Louis sighed wistfully to himself. Louis warned him, {Legosi, if you keep talking all sweet like that, you’re going to give me cavities.}

 

Legosi joked back, {I’m practically rich now, thanks to your dad. I can pay your dental bills.}

 

Louis rolled his eyes at his phone screen. {I suppose I’ll have to suffer through it then. You keep being sweet.}

 

Legosi’s tail wagged happily.

……

It was Legosi’s mandatory biology hour that was the most surprising to him. 

 

Normally, during biology hours, the wolves would largely just sit around and mind their own business. No one really talked to Legosi, or even talked much to each other. They’d gaze at the fake moon, bathe in the artificial moonlight, and that was it. It was quiet, contemplative, and maybe a bit lonely. It was good for thinking over things.

 

But before Legosi even arrived, everyone in the wolf room looked so … happy . 

 

They were all chatting away excitedly, with wide smiles and fast wagging tails. 

 

For a moment, Legosi wasn’t even sure if he went into the right room - if he got into the dog room by mistake. 

 

Juno perked up first from her seat, “Ah, Legosi!!”

 

There was a quick chorus of replies as several wolves repeated his name, several smiles spread even wider, and a handful moved directly toward him. 

 

“Legosi?!” “It’s Legosi!!” “ The Legosi?!” 

 

“Haha, the Guardian Demon!” “Yes!!” “Can I see your scars??” 

 

Before Legosi even knew what was happening, people were shaking his hand, patting his shoulder, vying for his attention, trying to ask him questions he was utterly incapable of answering. 

 

It took Juno to move in and break them up, and point out the obvious, “Guys, he can’t talk! He can’t respond if you don’t let him write or sign!”

 

(It was curious how often people seemed to forget that little detail in the moment.)

 

Emotions were only momentarily suppressed - so many vibrating tails practically stirring up the dust in the room - and Legosi was still confusedly trying to get his bearings. 

 

He tried to write out, {What’s wrong? What’s going on?}

 

A particular wolf with freckley spots said, with a grin, “Nothing’s wrong! It’s great! It’s never been this great at Cherryton!”

 

Legosi tilted his head inquisitively. 

 

A black-furred wolf had to adjust his glasses, “The herbivores here are seeing us in a new light!”

 

The freckled wolf added, “Their faces don’t even change if I have to pass by too close! Walking to class is so much less stressful now! They might even like us! Us!”

 

The shy wolf-bear hybrid kept his eyes averted, “It’s cause you showed them what a carnivore can do. After saving Louis the red deer, you’ve even got a fan club…”

 

The black wolf pushed his glasses up again, “Yeah, and a lot of them are herbivores, too! Herbivores liking large breed carnivores?? Liking us?? And we’re not even dogs! Just, wow!”

 

The freckled wolf moved to shake Legosi’s hand again, “And it’s all thanks to you! Things are so much better now!”

 

Legosi felt a strange pressure behind his eyes, and his vision got a little misty. He tried to type out, {I was just trying to save my friend. I wasn’t even thinking about all that stuff…}

 

The freckled wolf insisted, “Yeah, but that’s what makes it so great! You know I even had to pass by the herbivore dorm earlier, and a bunch of them even said ‘hi’ to us! They said ‘ hi ’!!”

 

The shy wolf-bear had a tiny smile, “Normally, they just glare at us…”

 

Legosi felt himself smiling despite the urge to cry. {I’m glad. I’m really glad. That sounds great…}

 

The black wolf had to know, “Is it true you’re going to be the next Beastar?? Everybody was talking about it! Someone said they saw you go to the principal yesterday! What did he say about it??”

 

That was just enough to put a damper on his tears. Legosi swallowed a bit of an ache in his throat, but tried to sound firm in his writing. {It’s way too soon to know that. It wouldn’t be this year anyway, I’m not a senior.}

 

The happy freckled wolf gave a small groan, “Awww, but can you imagine?? A male wolf, getting chosen as leader of the student body?? It’s practically unheard of!”

 

The shy wolf-bear quietly added, “It’s amazing!”

 

The black wolf said gleefully, “It's totally possible! As soon as Louis leaves, Legosi will totally have it in the bag!”

 

Legosi was just about to say ‘no’ - he wasn’t going to be a Beastar even then - when he stopped, and looked at all their excited, joyful faces. Even Juno was looking more cheerful and bright. Everyone, even Legosi, was wagging their tails as hard as possible.

 

Legosi understood then, that making people happy like this was a lot better than just moonbathing. 

 

Legosi made no promises. {Maybe next year…}

…… 

That afternoon, Haru and Legosi were getting ready to make another trip to the Meteor Festival fairgrounds. 

 

Legosi already had one flower pot in his arms when Haru was calling for him.

 

“Hey, Legosi! Can you bring over the - the,” the word was escaping her. She snapped her fingers, trying to recall. “The thing. That - thing. Agh. What’s the word? No, not that one. The other - yeah, that’s it ! That one!”

 

Legosi carried over the pair of plants, adding them to a tough plastic box.

 

Haru patted the wolf on the thigh, “Thanks, Legosi. Ugh, how did I ever manage without you. You’re spoiling me - wait a second - oh, oh! Idea!”

 

The wolf tilted his head and asked, [What?]

 

Haru patted him again, “You’re It!”

 

The rabbit started running away.

 

Legosi was still confused.

 

Haru shouted back, bouncing on her feet, “Oh, come on! You’ve played Tag, right?”

 

Legosi got out his phone to text her, {Not since I was really little. And definitely not with an herbivore. I didn’t think herbivores played Tag with carnivores at all.}

 

Haru popped her head up over a bushy plant. “That’s why it’s a great idea! We can work on my self-defense skills!”

 

Legosi still stared at her like she was crazy. {You want a large breed carnivore to chase you around? Haru, that sounds - like it’s in really bad taste.}

 

Haru had somehow sneakily made a complete circle around the garden rooftop and slapped Legosi on the ass. The wolf jumped an inch off the ground. 

 

He protested wildly with his hands.

 

The rabbit cackled softly and kept running in place. “Oh, come on, Legosi! You’re It! Now chase me! It's for self-defense training, I swear! If I can keep away from you, as fast and as strong as you are, I can keep away from a bad carnivore! Right?”

 

Legosi gave a very loud, breathy harrumph at her logic. [Fine…] 

 

Haru took off like a tiny rabbit-shaped rocket. 

 

Five seconds. 

 

She lasted five seconds before the big wolf caught up, scooped her up in his hands, huge fingers around her small waist, lifting her right off the ground. 

 

Haru protested, “Hey, that’s cheating! Don’t I get a headstart?”

 

Legosi rolled his eyes like Louis. He set her back down, then held up ten fingers. He started silently counting down on them. 

 

Haru ran off again, quick as she could. 

 

She lasted a good nine seconds that time. Her little feet kicked in the air below her as Legosi held her up off the ground. 

 

The rabbit wiggled happily in his grasp, “Okay, I made it farther that time! Let’s go again! Again!”

 

Legosi gave her a small, discouraging glare. 

 

Haru pleaded, “Legosi!~ Come on, please! You said I have to play to a rabbit’s strengths, not a wolf’s. You’re right, I’m going to get outmuscled by a big carnivore! I can’t keep up long distance with you either - your legs are so long! But I’m an okay sprinter! I just need to learn how to not get caught to begin with!”

 

Legosi gave a playful sigh as he set her back down. He signed, [Okay, okay. We can play Tag. But only up here! I really don’t want to get in trouble! People are going to get the wrong idea if they see this.]

 

Haru smirked. “Okay, I only got half of that, but I’m pretty sure I know what you meant.”

 

Haru stretched her arms and back, then took up a sprinter's stance on the ground. “Gimme the countdown, and let’s go again!”

……

At some point, the pair of them lost track of time. They ended up not going to the festival grounds at all. 

 

Haru had started laughing hysterically about the game. She kept wanting to go again, no matter how many times Legosi picked her up or how many times she had to stop to catch her breath.

 

Legosi didn’t want to admit it, but he was smiling, too. Smiling a lot. 

 

It was … fun, chasing after her. Getting to pick her up in his arms.

 

Haru wasn’t just pretty, she was adorable. She was … cute. Legosi liked that she was cute. It was different from how Louis radiated gorgeous nobility, how he had the atmosphere of a prince about him. 

 

Despite Legosi’s reservations, Tag was a nice enough game when it was just the two of them, playing around in the garden. He nearly tripped a few times, he fell over once - but it was a great excuse to pick her up, see that smiling face and those shiny black eyes. He even snuck in another kiss or two.

 

And she was getting better quickly at that. Maybe it was her herbivore instincts kicking in, but she could dart side to side better than he could. 

 

By the second day of playing Tag, Legosi wasn’t as reluctant to play. It was just another game, another kind of training.

 

Having so many excuses to lift her and kiss her? It made the game all the more fun. 

 

There was a time or two where she slipped right through his legs, even tripped him up when he was trying to grab her.

 

She was still cackling away with glee when a male voice shouted, “Legosi, what the hell?!”

 

The wolf turned his head - tripped because he wasn’t looking the right way - and ended up falling head over heels, accidentally scooping Haru right up in his arms.

 

There was the briefest second where he was on his knees, just looking at Tao and Aoba while he held the laughing, pint-sized herbivore in his arms. 

 

Legosi didn’t have time to think about the last time he tripped and ended up holding her like that.

 

Legosi set her down fast, stood back up and away, rapidly signing [Sorry!] to them, like he had to apologize. He tried to point at her, to sign it was her idea, but he may as well have been flailing for their lack of understanding.

 

Haru was brushing herself off, grumbling, “Aw, I totally had you that time! I would have got away if they didn’t show up!”

 

Tao and Aoba looked visibly disturbed. 

 

Haru got serious fast then and stood in front of Legosi, “Oh no - whoa! Whoa! Legosi isn’t hurting me! I’m having him train me!”

 

Tao was still aghast and asked, “Train you?! What’s he got to train you for? His stomach??”

 

Aoba was fussing with his feathers. “Legosi, I thought you quit the drama club to get better. I saw you all bloody in those photos. Are you having episodes again?”

 

Legosi looked seriously uncomfortable and bowed his head, shook his head.

 

Haru glared harder at them, standing protectively in front of him, “Hey, I just said it was me! It’s part of my self-defense training! I made him do it for me cause Louis got attacked!”

 

Legosi pointed at her and rapidly nodded his head.

 

Tao still questioned, “You made him chase you around, up here, while you’re all alone, and … okay, it actually is really pretty up here. Did you guys do all this?”

 

Haru crossed her arms with pride, standing up as straight as she could. “Legosi is very helpful and agreeable. He helps me with everything now.” She paused the slightest moment, then insisted, “Legosi is my boyfriend now.”

 

Aoba choked.

 

Legosi hid his face.

 

Tao’s eyes shot wide and he took a step back, “He’s what ? He’s your what??”

 

The rabbit stomped closer to the carnivores twice her height, “My boyfriend! So get those bad thoughts of Legosi out of your brains, right now! He was only doing what I made him do! Now did you two actually need something, or are you just here to make Legosi feel bad? Cause I swear, he’s teaching me things, I have a can of mace, and I’m not afraid to use it!”

 

Tao was promptly stepping further back and putting his hands up in surrender. “No thanks! No mace! Please! I’m - allergic!”

 

Legosi started pacing in a circle, wishing he could groan.

 

Aoba was still looking extremely awkward, and cleared his throat. He tried to explain, “Actually, we came up here because of what happened to Louis. Louis probably won’t be better in time for the Meteor Festival, so we’re making some character and costume changes. The production crew is really busy with that, so they asked if we could see about getting some real flowers for the girls’ new outfits. So, that’s why we’re here. Um. Sorry for interrupting your training session. …Actually, training honestly sounds like a good idea…”

 

Tao respectfully stepped back into the conversation, a little behind Aoba, “And flowers are great and all but, dude, can we talk about Legosi giving combat lessons?? I kept bugging him to train me for like a month!”

 

Legosi tried to sign, [I’m not!]

 

But Haru was faster, “It’s a recent development, since Louis got attacked. Cherryton might be getting dangerous again, so we’re working on being safe.”

 

Legosi got out his phone to write and show them, {They’re self-defense lessons, and I’m definitely not giving them to everyone. Haru was just really insistent, and we both care about Louis. He’s our friend. There are some really bad rumors on campus right now, and Louis might still be in danger.}

 

Tao gave a disappointed rumble as he read that, “Aww…”

 

Aoba was clearly still thinking it over. He stroked the underside of his beak. The eagle admitted, “I’ve heard a rumor about carnivores wanting to lynch Louis, but I thought it was just people talking shit… But I did see the video of how you had to run Louis to the infirmary, so… I guess it’s not all talk.”

 

Haru said it openly, “Oh, Legosi totally had to beat this jaguar’s ass so he’d stop using Louis as a chew toy. The run was the easy part.”

 

Legosi slapped his forehead.

 

Haru noted that and quickly amended, “Which is what we are - not - telling people, because it’s not funny, and this is very serious. Legosi doesn’t like having to fight, and yeah, he’s still working on his mental health recovery. We just don’t have much choice about it right now, and I twisted his arm a bit. I wanted to be ready in case something happened.”

 

Aoba seemed to accept that. He nodded, “Right. That’s important. What if you just trained us?”

 

Legosi blinked twice.

 

The eagle clarified, “You said you’re not giving self-defense lessons ‘to everyone,’ but you said it yourself: Louis might be in danger. Admittedly, he used to be a jerk, but he’s been nicer lately, and he’s still the star of the drama club. He’s important to the club. And I don’t like the idea of him getting killed just for being a popular herbivore. So if you’ve got two more people ready, we have a better chance of keeping Louis safe. Right?”

 

Legosi instinctively looked to Haru for an answer.

 

The rabbit put her hands up, “Uh, I’m shutting up. I’m already doing a great impression of Louis over here, sticking my foot in my mouth all over the place. This decision should be all yours, big guy.”

 

Legosi awkwardly rubbed the base of his neck, under his scarf. 

 

Legosi finally huffed once, then typed out, {It wouldn’t be a terrible idea. I’m not in the drama club anymore. They’re in the actor’s pool, with Louis. But this is gardening club, not Tag club, and not self-defense club.}

 

Haru smirked, “Technically, I’m in charge of the club. It’s mine, and I can change the naming if I want. I can put a little asterisk on the door. ‘The garden club,’ asterisk, tiny little letters: ‘and everything else as needed’.”

 

The wolf looked up to heaven. 

 

Crazy people. I’m surrounded by crazy people.

 

Legosi glared down into his phone as he gave in, {Fine. I’ll give them a few lessons. I’ll share my training tips. If they want, they can join us on our run later.}

 

The panther actually hollered and threw his hands up, “Yes!! Training with the Wolf Demon!! Haha!!”

 

Tao started shadow boxing off to the side.

 

Aoba was clearly trying not to smile, but Tao was infectiously excited.

 

The wolf sighed. 

 

I just wanted to go to normal classes like a normal person. I wanted to sign with my roommates. I wanted to run some spotlights, help with the theater. I didn’t want to be a Beastar. I didn’t actually ask to have a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, or - or vigilante trainees!

 

Legosi wanted to groan.

 

How did it get this far…? aagghhh…

Chapter 25: Double-booking

Summary:

A: Legosi is a master of self-awareness.

B: Louis is a master of schemes.

Only one of those is a true statement, and I think we all know which one it is.

Notes:

Comments, as always, are appreciated. :)

Around the time Legosi was making it back from the group’s evening run, Louis had sent him a playful text message. {So, General: how are the new recruits?}

 

Legosi cleaned up in the showers first, before he practically fell into his bed in room 701. He drew the privacy curtain before replying, {Not you, too…}

 

Louis apologized, {Sorry. Just teasing. Haru told me about the guys showing up. …But I thought you liked Aoba and Tao? Is it actually bothering you that much?}

 

Like many things, Legosi didn’t know how to explain it well. {I do like them, but … I’m not used to people looking to me for answers or guidance. Haru, Tao, Aoba - it feels like they want me to be someone I’m not. This whole Beastar business … it just feels wrong. I’m not a leader. I don’t know how to be one. I can’t talk. I still barely understand my own feelings.}

 

Louis assured him, {Haru says you’re doing fine. She said she’s had a lot of fun with you playing Tag. She feels safer. She enjoys going on the runs with you, too - for however long she can manage.}

 

The wolf smiled a bit to himself. {I do like carrying her on my shoulders… It makes me happy that she wants to spend time with me. Tao could keep up better than Aoba, at first, but they both had to stop about halfway through my usual run.}

 

Louis wondered, {I don’t suppose you picked up those two as well?}

 

Legosi almost choked, {I’m not that strong!}

 

Louis typed playfully, {I’m sorry, I’m sorry - I’m now stuck on thinking of you, shirtless, bench pressing the two of them. Can we make this happen? I want pics.}

 

The wolf felt his fur puffing up with the heat of embarrassment. {Are you sure I’m your first male crush? Because, wow, that sounded really …}

 

Legosi wasn’t sure how to end that sentence respectfully. 

 

Louis still got the intent. 

 

The red deer then sent a quick picture of himself in a very large bed - sticking out his tongue like a child. Legosi wanted to giggle at that image.

 

Louis rapidly added, {You called me out on my shit, gave me gay feelings, saved my life, and now I actually feel confident enough to act on what I really want for myself. So if anything, my personal development is your fault, not mine. And now I’m just here, with a messed up arm, all alone, with no strapping young wolf men to kiss or even ogle at in a drama club locker room.}

 

Legosi huffed out a breathy laugh despite his nervous modesty. {You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you? Trying to distract me away from my anxiety by showering me with affirmation?}

 

Louis replied innocently, {I have no idea what you’re talking about. Me? Perpetrate an elaborate scheme? To make my new boyfriend feel confident and appreciated for his impressive physical features? No. Never. Now take off your shirt, and send me a selfie. It’s been a while since I’ve seen what’s under the hood.}

 

The wolf sighed to himself. He still smiled. {That’s terrible. You’re terrible. Give me a minute or two.}

 

{Don’t keep me waiting, General.} Louis added a winking smiley face, satisfied to know he had once more defused the carnivore’s nerves.

 

This whole crazy thing might just work out after all. 

…… 

Legosi realized he had another new text message midmorning, between classes. It set the wolf’s tail wagging immediately.

 

Louis had explained, {Okay, I didn’t want to get your hopes up if my father changed his mind, but I’m finally on my way back to Cherryton. However, I’m going to need a little boyfriend favor.}

 

Legosi started smiling. {What do you need?}

 

Louis asked plainly, {Carry my books to class for me?}

 

Legosi gave a breathy laugh, {I can, yeah, but can’t you use a backpack? Or a briefcase? Or is this another scheme?}

 

Louis replied quickly, {A backpack? Me? I already have to carry these heavy antlers. It’d hurt my spine. Also, if I ever wore a backpack at this age, I’m fairly certain Oguma would turn into a pillar of salt. He’ll think I’ve become a commoner or something.}

 

Legosi tried to sound playful, {You are definitely uncommon. …But I thought you didn’t like your father? I really don’t understand your relationship with him at all.}

 

Louis shot back, {Just let me have my high school fantasy, alright? I have an injured arm and it’s the only time we’ll ever have an excuse for this that doesn’t involve us dating. I’m used to being the boyfriend, not having a boyfriend. You’re supposed to carry things for me, hold open doors, fight villains in my honor.}

 

Legosi smirked. {Well, I’ve already done the fighting part. Carrying your books will be easy.}

 

The red deer preened like a bird. {We are now one step closer to living a high school drama.}

 

Legosi dared to tease, {Louis, with you around, it’s always been a high school drama.}

 

Louis choked. {Oh! Oh! The wolf has fangs! You’ve been spending too much time with Haru, clearly. I have to rebalance the triad.}

 

Legosi admitted, {Please and thank you, Louis. You’ve been missed.}

 

Louis sighed wistfully. {I’ll be there soon.}

……

The wolf went to the herbivore dorm at the beginning of the lunch break. Only when he got there did it occur to him that … picking up Louis’ books from his room … actually involved going inside the herbivore dorm. To even go near the herbivore dorm was a small taboo for carnivore students, and he knew even Jack sometimes got really shady looks for getting too close.

 

An oryx was just leaving the dorm when she saw Legosi, and she waved excitedly. She started to sign, [You need - what?]

 

Legosi signed back automatically, [Louis needs help with his books.]

 

The oryx signed, [Again - more slowly?]

 

Legosi took his time fingerspelling ‘LOUIS.’

 

A light clicked on behind her eyes. “Oh, Louis! The red deer? Yeah, I know where his room is! Come on, I can show you.”

 

And then she did the unthinkable.

 

This herbivore girl, who Legosi didn’t even know, took hold of the big wolf’s wrist and led him inside.

 

She was … touching him.

 

Legosi might have shut down for a moment in his head, trying to determine if this was actually happening, but yes, she was tugging him along, personally escorting him inside the forbidden land.

 

The small oryx was even kind of strutting her way through the herbivore dorm, with the big wolf at her back.

 

Right there. 

 

At her back. 

 

He vaguely remembered feeling the same way when Haru first touched his tail.

 

Legosi glanced around a bit as he walked, trying to stay close to her but not too close - like she was his only bubble of safety.

 

To even be here felt strange, like he was walking through the home of royalty. Touch nothing, but you can look (a little). 

 

He did get two startled reactions, but many more people were actually saying “Hi there!” “Hey, Legosi!” “Ha! Wow, Wolf Demon on the move!”

 

Legosi grimaced slightly, ears a little lower, and tried to give them a friendly wave with his free hand.

 

Three people actually signed to say, [Have a good day!] and [See you later!]

 

The oryx knocked a few times on Louis’ door, “Hey, Louis! Legosi is here for you!”

 

There was a sudden awkward fumbling on the inside, before Louis was yanking open the door with his good hand. His right arm was still in a brace, in a sling. The red deer was looking surprisingly embarrassed, and quickly tried to compose himself. “Legosi! You didn’t say you were coming over already.”

 

The wolf signed, [You said you needed help.]

 

The oryx started stepping away when Legosi waved to get her attention. 

 

Before she left, he made sure to sign, [Thank you for helping me. What’s your name?]

 

The girl smirked, “Oh, my name’s Jasmine!” She spelled it out slowly with her fingers. “It was nice meeting you.”

 

The oryx sort of sauntered away then, leaving the two guys together.

 

Legosi smiled, [She seems nice. I didn’t know so many herbivores knew sign language here. I’m glad she could understand me.]

 

Louis slowly raised a brow. “She can’t. They can’t. Or - they couldn’t?”

 

The red deer looked suspiciously down the hall, where a few herbivores were still hiding the fact they were watching the wolf in their midst.

 

Legosi glanced at them, too.

 

Two of them turned away fast, as if caught in the act - but that was definitely an expression of embarrassment on their faces, not fear.

 

Louis gave the wolf a big grin. “Maybe they’re learning sign for you?”

 

Legosi rubbed his neck self-consciously. [Yeah… I don’t know how to feel about that yet…]

 

The red deer nudged the wolf once with his elbow, “Let’s just go get lunch already.”

…… 

Okay, so, carrying Louis’ books is … strangely satisfying.

 

It was such a little thing, comparatively. It wasn’t fighting a jaguar. It wasn’t running Louis to the infirmary, keeping watch outside a dark theater, or even doing the heavy lifting around a garden. It was just holding two big textbooks and a notebook for the afternoon classes. But first up was lunch.

 

Legosi ended up walking alongside Louis in the herbivore line, intending to help with Louis’ tray as well. But while they were waiting, Legosi started feeling curious again, and that always made him more sociable.

 

The wolf tucked the books under an elbow, and tried to ask, [So how did things go with your dad?]

 

Louis had his ‘public’ face on, so when the red deer grit his teeth, it was just barely perceptible. Legosi probably wouldn’t have caught it if he hadn’t spent so much time looking at the deer.

 

Legosi signed, [That bad, huh?]

 

Louis tried to sound unaffected, “I think I’d prefer to have that conversation in a more private setting. We can’t exactly sign in secret as before.”

 

The wolf’s ears drooped. [Oh. Right. Your arm… I thought you wouldn’t mind speaking aloud, sorry…]

 

The red deer actually smirked. “I don’t mean just my arm, Legosi. I mean all the people who are trying to learn sign language. They’re paying close attention to us today. And it’s not just the herbivores.”

 

Legosi gave a slight wince, and snuck another glance over his shoulder. Some of the their classmates weren’t even trying to be subtle. 

 

Legosi signed smaller, […There can’t be that many of them though, right?]

 

Louis just had a pleased expression on his face - but as the lunch lady prepared a tray for the red deer, she was definitely giving Legosi a suspicious glare.

 

Louis pointed out the sling and brace, and explained candidly, “He’s my arm for today.”

 

Legosi quickly picked the tray up for Louis, despite the continued side-eye that lunch lady was giving him.

 

Then Louis said coolly as they walked away, “I think we can safely say it’s more people than you think. You may have inspired some people, but sign language has always held a certain mystique for hearing people. It’s just hard to become fluent because so few of the Deaf are visible. They tend to have their own insular schools and community events out of necessity…”

 

“…The only reason I’m fluent is because we used to have a Deaf maid at Oguma’s mansion. She wasn’t exactly a nanny, but I spent a lot of time with her anyway. She taught me some sign because I wanted to be sneaky - it felt like I was speaking in code - but we ended up just talking about everything. I really needed the extra time to socialize with people growing up anyway. It’s probably unfortunate to admit this, but I spent more time with her than my father.”

 

Louis picked them out his usual table on the herbivore side of the cafeteria. 

 

Legosi had to put down the red deer’s tray and books before he could finally ask, [What was her name?]

 

Louis had a soft, nostalgic smile. “Delilah, the dall sheep. Her name sign was this,” the deer demonstrated with his left hand, with some difficulty. “You’ll have to reverse it, if you ever actually want to use it. It’s usually a dominant-hand sign.”

 

Legosi made the attempt with his right hand, and smiled bigger. [I’ll have to thank her if I ever meet her - for bringing us together.]

 

Louis murmured as he took a seat, “Well, I’ll stay here with my books and lunch. Come back when you’ve got yours from the carnivore line?”

 

Legosi smirked, [It’s a date.]

 

The wolf quietly took his place in the other lunch line, glancing at his phone for a moment while waiting. He texted Haru quick, to see if she wanted to join them.

 

Legosi didn’t see the way the small reptile ahead of him glanced back, did a double take, then replied in awe, “Wolf Demon! Wow! Uh, you can go in front of me. I don’t have anywhere to be.”

 

The wolf frowned. He still glanced around once on instinct, in case the reptile was talking to someone else. But, no, the reptile was looking straight at Legosi - with eyes full of hero worship.

 

Legosi replied on instinct, signing, [No, no. I’m fine, it’s okay.]

 

The reptile smiled even bigger, “Whoa! You really can’t talk?? I thought people were making that up!”

 

Legosi frowned and slowly shook his head. He tugged his scarf down just enough to show the vicious scarring, and pointed at them.

 

Two more carnivores started taking notice, trying to engage in small talk. 

 

Legosi tried to respond to them with his smart phone, but the three carnivores started talking over each other.

 

The wolf was just starting to feel that old, anxious pressure when a certain stripey figure got in the way.

 

Bill growled at them, “Guys, buzz off! Legosi only has so much time for lunch, he doesn’t want to spend it all on you!”

 

Several stuttered apologies accompanied the zipping of lips, and the line continued moving again.

 

Legosi tilted his head and frowned at the tiger’s arrival. [Bill?]

 

The big tiger scratched the back of his head. He signed, [Sorry, Legosi. You looked - you wanted help?]

 

Legosi felt another smile tugging at his lips. [Yeah… Thanks.]

……

It seemed like the rest of lunch was going to go just fine. Haru had already eaten, so that was a missed opportunity, but they could make a point of it in the future. Louis commented that her old bullies would probably get scarce if she more publicly associated with Louis and Legosi.

 

Haru asked flatly, {Who are you and what have you done with Louis?}

 

Louis grumbled back, {I’m just at a point in my life where I care less about people’s opinions now…}

 

A few herbivores had also made a point of sitting nearer to Louis and Legosi, trying to listen (and engage) into the conversation where they could. Two small-breed carnivores even crossed the usual species line, to snag a tiny table nearby.

 

Louis and Legosi slipped in the occasional text to each other, or to Haru, when they wanted to say something more private.

 

Then the mood in the cafeteria was shattered. 

 

Mina the giraffe came running straight towards the pair, almost falling over a few chairs in the way. She was puffing as she asked, “Help! Help help help! Need help!”

 

Louis stood up straight away, “What’s wrong? What’s going on?”

 

Mina waved him off, “Not you. Legosi! Legosi, I need your help!”

 

The wolf felt something unpleasantly electric go up his spine. He stood up, too, only to glance immediately at Louis for assistance.

 

The giraffe was trying to catch her breath, “Jericho and Hollingsworth are fighting in the yard! They both want to take me to the Meteor Festival, but they aren’t listening to me! They’re going to break their necks at this rate! Legosi, you - you have to stop them!”

 

Legosi looked straight at Louis. He tried to sign small, [I can’t fight herbivores! That’d be wrong!]

 

Ideas were burning through the red deer’s eyes, lightning quick. His face was stern, serious - and resolute. “Legosi. Do you trust me?”

 

That was an easy question. Legosi grit his teeth and nodded.

 

Louis grinned. “Together.”

 

Louis and Legosi left the cafeteria side by side.

……

Haru sighed heavily. “Whatever happened to no more heroics?”

 

Legosi’s ears hung a little lower as he kept digging in the soil.

 

Off to the side of the garden, Louis was sipping a drink with his one good hand. He stated, “In Legosi’s defense, it was my idea. Everything went how I thought it would, no one even threw a punch. Sometimes the illusion of force can be even more effective than the real thing. Legosi and I showed up, he clapped to get their attention, then just stood there menacingly while I called them on their bullshit. Honestly, I know male giraffes can be pretty territorial, but it’s Mina for crying out loud.”

 

The rabbit frowned, “Okay, so explain that to me, cause you’re making it sound like something’s obvious.”

 

Legosi used his dirty fingers to half sign, half spell, [Mina is in the drama club, but she has a phobia. She’s afraid of spots.]

 

Haru had to double check that, “She’s afraid of spots? But … she’s a giraffe…?”

 

Louis clarified, “Yes, that’s exactly the problem. I doubt she’d be interested in a male giraffe at all, much less either of them. Those two idiots were fighting over nothing. They probably thought they could win her affection with enough posturing and flexing - or maybe they convinced themselves she liked them.”

 

Legosi signed, [Either way, it’s finished now. Now we can get back to normal things.]

 

Normalcy was denied by the arrival of Aoba and Tao in their garden sanctum.

 

The panther was carrying a big duffel bag, and promptly said, “Wolf Demon saves the day again!!”

 

Legosi wanted to groan. 

 

Louis spoke sternly, “Tao, knock it off. His name is Legosi and you keep making him feel bad by repeating that nickname. He doesn’t like it!”

 

Aoba gave the panther a quick swat to the shoulder, “I keep telling him that!”

 

Tao’s ears lowered, “I just thought it sounded cool, alright? Legosi’s a badass…”

 

Aoba sighed heavily. “Well, the rest of the actors are done with drama club stuff for today… Do you want us to wait around for you, Legosi? Or should we train on our own or something? You’re the expert here…”

 

Legosi looked at Haru, gave a questioning expression on his face. 

 

He didn’t even need to sign for her to answer, “You go help them, Legosi. We’re not really doing anything important right now.”

 

The wolf gave a big exhale, then stood up and started brushing off his hands. Legosi turned to Louis, [You don’t mind interpreting for me, do you?]

 

The deer laughed, “I see no reason to stop now.”

 

Tao opened the big duffel bag, “One of my roommates is in the kendo club. When I mentioned Wolf D- er, Legosi - he let me borrow some of their extra gear. It’s a lot tougher stuff than the props we have in the drama club, so we can fight for real! I even brought some armor!” Tao took out a proper, heavy wooden sword, and gave it a theatrical flourish. “I got one for each of us!”

 

Legosi squinted at it, but took one of the swords. It wasn’t that far from the kind he’d used to train with his grandpa, but it felt lighter. Legosi gave in, [Fine. We can use these, but - nobody tell the fencing team. They’re getting really clingy again.]

 

Haru loudly encouraged him from the roses, “Kick their asses, Legosi! You can do it!”

 

Aoba gave a humorous snort, “Don’t encourage him! I know what he can do, Legosi can kick our butts any day of the week!”

 

Legosi tested the weight of the sword with a few experimental swings, then he stopped. He glanced at Aoba and Tao again, with his thinking face on. 

 

Legosi took the sword from Tao, and gave it to Aoba instead. He tucked his own sword underneath his elbow, and relied on Louis to be his voice. [Tao, you already know how to sword fight. You don’t need to practice that as much.]

 

The panther recoiled, “Wait, what? But it’s what I’m good at!”

 

Legosi nodded. [Yes. That’s the point.]

 

Aoba frowned. “Legosi, I’ve only done a little sword fighting for the drama club, and that was scripted.”

 

The wolf nodded again, [Yes. That’s also the point. Part of self-defense is fighting smarter. We’re worried about Louis. We don’t know when or if an attack will happen, but we should be prepared sooner rather than later. Aoba, if you want to become a better fighter fast, I think you should focus more on training to fight with a weapon. If I’m remembering correct, as a bird, you may have lighter bones for flying - but you have strong upper body muscles to flap your wings…]

 

[…Hitting someone’s throat could disable them, but that’s a small target. I’ll need to find out exactly how strong you are, to figure out if you can knock out someone by hitting their head. I can’t tell by looking at you. You might even be able to break certain bones. I don’t know. But in the meantime, the fastest way for you to become stronger, is to put those muscles to use with something harder: a fake sword, a crowbar, a piece of pipe, whatever. You can get creative. You could probably hide a crowbar in a backpack and carry it around with you.]

 

Tao was grumbling and folded his arms across his chest. “Okay. So what about me? What should I focus on?”

 

Legosi looked at the panther again, studying him, then made a point of holding up one of Tao’s hands. [Claws.]

 

The panther flinched. “My claws?! That’s - feral! I can’t use my claws! That’s not defending someone, that’s just hurting someone else!”

 

Legosi shook his head. He insisted, [You’re a large-breed feline. Your hands and forearms are built for clawing things. You’re lighter and faster than some bigger cats, too. By all means, keeping a weapon with you would also be to your benefit. But like Aoba, if you want to get better ASAP, you should take advantage of every strength you already have. We can fill in what you don’t over time. But if you have to fight another carnivore, there’s a very good chance they won’t feel bad about clawing or biting you first. You don’t want to give them that opportunity…] 

 

[…If you’re serious about self-defense, you need to use anything you can to stay alive. Self-defense is about coming home alive. That’s it. That’s why you run if you can. But you will always have your claws to defend yourself. Yes, you could kill someone with them. There are many arteries and ligaments you can attack. A quick swipe at the neck with your claws, and an enemy could go down for good. But that’s true of a wooden sword or a crowbar, too: one good hit to the skull is all it could take. Like most young carnivores, I’m assuming you’ve probably never used your claws to actually hurt someone, have you?]

 

Tao was looking uncomfortable. He shrugged weakly, “I scratched someone in middle school, but he was just a bully. This guy was being a real jerk, and I lost my cool. I didn’t kill him or anything … and I really don’t like being around blood…”

 

Legosi paced slightly, then asked, [When’s the last time you’ve gone to B-Strike?]

 

The panther frowned again. “B-Strike? I dunno, it’s been awhile. I thought that was just for kids - and like, funky adults.”

 

Legosi shook his head quickly. Some of that work with his therapist was coming in handy as he explained, [We all have feral instincts. B-Strike helps people release the pressure of them in a healthy form of expression. It’s positive expression. The feline corner at B-Strike has lots of scratching posts. I think I can set something up here for us to practice together, but honestly, one of the best things that could help you is to practice scratching lots of different surfaces…]

 

[…If you’ve barely clawed stuff before, if you’re worried about blood, your brain is probably going to hold back from using your real strength. You need to get around that. The only way to do that is with practice. You need to actually do it to recognize your strength, and how to use it efficiently. Then, if you ever get in a situation where you need to defend yourself? You’re ready to claw for real.]

 

Tao sighed once. He fussed with his hands a bit, “If you say so… I really don’t think I’m comfortable with the idea of that … but you’re the expert here… If you think a scratching post can help me be a better fighter… ugh, I’ll use a scratching post…”

 

Legosi patted him on the shoulder. [Different kinds of scratching posts. That matters. You need to get used to using your strength on different surfaces, so you don’t flinch. You could scratch in the dirt, too. Just, use your judgement. Maybe don’t be too obvious or public about it.]

 

Aoba stretched out his arms, “Well, I can’t say this is how I expected things to go … but I suppose you’re making sense. I can probably find a crowbar somewhere…” The eagle tightened his grip on the wooden sword, and made several testing strikes at the air. “I’m ready to spar if you are. Please don’t kick my ass; I need those feathers to fly.”

 

Legosi gave a small breathy laugh. [Hold on, I think we have some old rope in the club room. It’s kind of falling apart, but if Haru doesn’t mind, Tao could use it to practice scratching. You should probably put on that armor Tao brought, too. I’ll go get the rope.]

 

Aoba gulped, “Right. The armor. Good plan. I like this plan.”

Haru put her hands up to her mouth and pretended she was calling out from a great distance, “ You’re going down! ”

Chapter 26: Date night

Summary:

Time to Meteor Festival: a little over 48 hours ... right?

Notes:

Comments are always appreciated. :)

Also, unrelated to Signs, I started posting a post-canon mystery/suspense fic, in case any of you manga readers are interested in a supernatural sort of fanfic lol.

The cafeteria was quieter today. A lot of the initial hero worship had died down, and the school gossip had turned once more upon the imminent festival. 

 

Legosi was glad to have lunch with Louis and Haru. They were pretending to be working on an assignment for class, like they had a group project - with books and papers out. (Not like the three of them had even one class all together.) 

 

But, overhearing a few conversations around the cafeteria, Legosi was thinking about a few other things. He signed, [The Meteor Festival is only two days away now…] 

 

Haru had a spoonful of vegetable soup halfway to her mouth and stopped. “You look so intense about that, Legosi.”

 

The wolf glanced again at other nearby students. He replied, [Well, it just seems like it’s a big thing around the school.]

 

Louis spoke up, “It’s not that big, Legosi. It’s just a teenage romance thing, like going to a school dance. Most people do it just so they can say they did it, that’s all.”

 

Haru agreed, “Yeah, it’s superstition. If you light a candle with your partner, you’re supposed to be fated to be together or something like that. But all that stuff is lovey dovey fakeness, superstition. A candle doesn’t help a couple have a lasting relationship, no matter how much ceremony is involved. A lasting relationship requires actual work, communication.”

 

Legosi was still serious as he asked, [Will you two be lighting a candle?]

 

Haru actually snorted, “No.”

 

Louis huffed, and whispered back, “Well, I’ll try not to take offense at that, thank you! But, I was going to give the same answer anyway… It’s a very visible part of the festival. There are some appearances to be considered.”

 

Legosi tried to hide the way he winced. [Right. Appearances… I understand that.]

 

Louis and Haru shared a glance.

 

Haru asked outright, “Legosi, is that something you actually want to do? Go light a candle?”

 

The red deer was frowning. “I’m a bit confused. I thought you were self-conscious about that stuff. I thought you didn’t want people to know about … you know.”

 

Legosi fussed with his sandwich. [I don’t… I don’t know. I’m not good at understanding my feelings. I’ve never been in a relationship before, good or bad. Maybe I just like the idea of doing things with you guys…] 

 

Haru smirked, “Legosi, we do things together all the time. We’re doing something right now.”

 

Louis offered, “Well, if it’s quality time you want, then it’s quality time we can have. Let’s go into town,” Louis dropped his volume to a whisper, “On a date.”

 

Legosi felt his ears perk up. [Wait, a date? A real date??]

 

Haru snickered, “Sure, why not. That sounds like a good idea. We’ve still got time to finish final prep on the festival grounds.”

 

Louis nodded wisely, “I’m sure we can find some trouble to get into, the three of us. Legosi’s been working real hard this week, ever since I got attacked. He deserves a little fun time off.”

 

The wolf’s tail was already wagging excitedly. He signed small, [A real date… What should we even do?]

 

Haru sat up straighter. “Oh! I got an idea. I heard this trick from an old friend.”

 

Louis asked first, “What kind of trick?”

 

Haru took three napkins, and started writing on them with a pen. “A trick for group decision-making. A movie, some shopping, and dinner! We shuffle them up. The person who draws ‘movie’ says what they’ve been interested in seeing, the person who draws ‘dinner’ says what they’re interested in eating, and for shopping -”

 

Louis asked, “They say what they’re interested in buying?”

 

Haru smirked, “Heh, well that, or everybody just focuses on getting that person something! Course, we talk about our options, it’s not a dictatorship thing. It’s just a little tool to help us make group decisions easier.”

 

Haru shuffled up the napkins, and held them out. 

 

Louis was about to draw, then thought better of it. He gestured for Legosi, “You draw first. It’s your first after all.” 

 

Legosi’s tail wagged quickly as he drew a napkin, but kept it facedown. He looked expectantly for Louis to grab the next one.

 

Haru turned the last over, “Ooo! I got dinner! I heard there’s this new restaurant in the city, it focuses on a lot of fruity stuff. I read this random article that papaya is supposed to be good for rabbits. I’m interested in seeing if it’s true.”

 

Louis murmured, “I’m up for it, as long as the resident carnivore is fine with fruit.”

 

The wolf nodded twice, all smiles. [Of course. I’m a canid. We’ll eat practically anything.]

 

The red deer insisted, “You go next, Legosi. Let’s see what you got.”

 

Legosi bit his lip before he flipped it over. He held up ‘SHOPPING’ for them both to see.

 

Haru giggled, “And what does our personal superhero want to go shopping for?”

 

The wolf’s tail just kept wagging away. [I don’t know. I really don’t do much shopping out in public, because of my voice. It makes things too hard, I just order stuff online. I don’t even buy many clothes.]

 

Haru and Louis stared at each other, faces full of mischief.

 

Haru asked, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

 

Louis offered, “Wardrobe makeover montage?”

 

Haru nodded, “Wardrobe makeover montage.”

 

Legosi had to cover his eyes because they made him want to laugh.

……

Legosi’s tail was wagging with glee in the clothing store.

 

Louis held up a three-piece suit. “Something fancy!”

 

Legosi signed, [That’s way too expensive!] 

 

Haru ran over with some pants. “Skinny jeans?”

 

Legosi smiled but insisted, [No.]

 

Louis brought over a shirt. “Sleeveless tank top?”

 

Legosi warned, [Maybe.]

 

Haru returned. “Cargo pants! Extra pockets for gardening stuff!”

 

Legosi signed, [Okay, that’s a good idea.]

 

Louis held up something red. “A speedo for summer!”

 

The wolf wheezed, [Rex, no! Never! No way!]

 

Haru stretched something neon green, “A banana hammock!”

 

Legosi choked through a grin, [That’s terrible! You’re both terrible! I’m not wearing either of those!]

 

Haru shot the practically glowing green swimsuit at Louis like a rubber band, and it landed on his antlers. “Naw, of course not. We just wanted to make you smile.”

 

Louis shook the red cloth at Haru, “Speak for yourself. Legosi would kill in a speedo.”

 

Haru snorted, “How did you ever think you were straight?”

 

“Legosi is special!” The red deer stood nobly and cleared his throat, “Also, I am a distinguished actor. Fooling people is part of the job. Clearly, I’m so good at being straight on stage, I even fooled myself.”

 

Legosi rolled his eyes, and picked up a few of their findings. [I will try on some of these - not all of them. And not the speedo!]

 

Louis huffed, “Crush a poor bi guy’s dreams, why don’t you?”

 

Legosi leaned in and snuck a quick kiss against Louis’ cheek. [I’ll try on the muscle shirt just for you.]

 

Haru cackled shamelessly.

……

At dinner, Haru was attempting to shove a whole piece of fruit into her mouth, and still trying to talk. “Okay. Someone make a note of this: I love papaya now. I need this more. Like a lot more. So good…”

 

Louis murmured happily over his own fruit-laden salad, “I wouldn’t say it’s bad at all. How are your scones, Legosi?”

 

Legosi signed while he chewed, [They’re good. Carnivores are usually fond of carbohydrates. They give us something to chew on, and help satisfy our hunger.]

 

Haru waved, “Wait, what was that one sign?” 

 

She tried to repeat it, awkwardly. Legosi signed the word again even as Louis started explaining, “Carbohydrates. But I think he means like hard breads, you know? Most carnivores have really strong jaw muscles, and certain instincts to bite or gnaw on things.”

 

Haru was curious, “What, even Legosi?”

 

The wolf was even then in mid-gnaw of the bread. His ears drooped in mild self-consciousness, [Well, I don’t bite people…]

 

The rabbit giggled, “Oh, no - no, I just meant, I didn’t think you could bite at all.”

 

Legosi’s tail swayed awkwardly, ears dropping like it was something to be embarrassed about. [I can bite … I just don’t want to…] 

 

Louis sensed the tension, and decided to change the topic. “Hey, Legosi: what did you think about the movie anyway?"

 

The wolf blinked a few times. He had to think about that for a second. […I liked that it had a happy ending. I didn’t think it would. But I thought it was nice, that they got together in the end.]

 

Haru squinted a bit. “Sorry, Louis, can you interpret that one? I don’t think I got half of it.”

 

Louis repeated it aloud.

 

Haru nodded along, “Ah, right. Me, too! I thought you two drama geeks were going to pick something sappy and tragic.”

 

The red deer pretended to look offended, “That is a vicious stereotype. I’ll have you know I am an extremely cultured drama geek, and I have certain standards. I only watch three tragedies a week, thank you very much.”

 

The rabbit started giggling again. Legosi’s expression returned to happiness, fondly remembering how he got to sit between the two of them in the movie theater, holding a big bag of popcorn for them all to share.

 

Legosi admitted quietly, [This has been a really nice date… I’m glad I got to share the afternoon with you guys.]

 

Haru was wiggling as she reached for another papaya. “I certainly think it’s been a fun afternoon. Or … evening? Wow, it got dark outside really fast…”

 

Louis frowned and looked out the restaurant window. “Oh, right. I didn’t notice because the city lights are still so bright. The production department is probably wrapping things up for the festival showing tomorrow.”

 

Haru blinked. “Wait, what? The Meteor Festival isn’t tomorrow, it’s the day after.”

 

Louis furrowed his brows. He insisted, “Yes, but they’re opening the festival grounds to the public early this year. The Meteor Festival has been growing in popularity since it’s more secular now. They’re extending the festival for more games and sales.”

 

Legosi slapped his forehead. 

 

The rabbit grabbed her ears. “Shit! Shit shit shit!”

 

Louis looked confused. “Did I miss something? What’s wrong?”

 

Haru groaned, “Legosi and I haven’t finished final preparations! I figured we could do it tomorrow! The garden club makes a ton of money off the festival, but we’ve been occupied this week … since the jaguar.”

 

Legosi rubbed his eyes with one hand, and exhaled roughly, just as frustrated. 

 

Haru grimaced, “Sorry, Louis. I think we need to cut this date a little early.”

 

Louis was fine. The red deer stated matter-of-factly, “Then let’s all go. I may only have one good arm, but I have two good legs. We can get it all fixed up fast.”

 

Haru sighed heavy, looking at Louis with appreciation. “That would be great. That would be really great, thanks. Don’t forget the bag with your new clothes, Legosi.”

 

The trio moved quickly then, jogging to the festival grounds. They were lucky it wasn’t that far. 

 

Legosi still asked to scoop Haru up onto his shoulders, since Louis and Legosi had a bigger stride. No point in her being winded before they even got there. 

 

Haru had done it all herself in the years before. Tags had to be written, plants and flowers arranged, final pruning and watering so they looked as perfect as possible before prices were set… She started explaining a list of things like that while Legosi and Louis were jogging. 

 

They had to show their school passes to a guard to get on the festival grounds. It wasn’t like the metal fence would stop everyone, but it was still a basic show of security.

 

The drama club’s production department had made huge fake dinosaurs - lit up from the inside out - providing a warm, bright glow to the whole grounds. That was good, because the night itself got darker still. 

 

Haru groaned over a pot of flowers, “Aggh, where did my scissors go??”

 

Legosi jumped in, [I got it,] and quickly used his claws to prune some offending leaves.

 

The rabbit was rapidly doing math in her head, and checking numbers on her smart phone. She half turned, “Louis, can you double-check with the security guards? How much longer can we be here? See if they can give us a little extra time!”

 

The red deer nodded sharply, “I’m on it!” And then he ran.

 

The rabbit perked up, “Found it!” She snipped at the air with her very sharp scissors, then gestured Legosi back. “Get some water! There’s a water fountain around here somewhere, take the buckets!”

 

Legosi saluted, grabbed the empty metal buckets, and ran fast - trying to remember where he saw the fountains last. They had to be somewhere near, he knew he used them the other day.

 

Legosi ducked down one path, took another turn past an illuminated dinosaur. He thought he could smell water somewhere near, wet dirt, but the festival grounds had so many other scents - so many other animals had passed by, and many more were still milling about the fairgrounds, not quite eager to leave… 

 

Legosi’s heart jumped happily when he found the water fountain.

 

Legosi’s heart sank when all the lights suddenly cut out.

Notes:

Buckle up, guys... This next arc is gonna be rough...

Chapter 27: The first offensive

Summary:

PTSD is a beast.

All the knowledge in the world won't help you if it's your brain that betrays you.

Notes:

As always, comments are very much appreciated. :)

Also, shout-out to "AnonimusTheIII," who drew fanart of Legosi! It's good stuff! I originally left the scars vague for people's imaginations, but he made a great interpretation for it! Also, loving the moon's placement, very nice.

 

When their surroundings go dark … an herbivore’s field of vision turns pitch black. 

 

Legosi was a carnivore. He could see perfectly fine.

 

It was realizing Haru and Louis couldn’t that made Legosi shriek inside his head.

 

Legosi froze for a good solid five seconds. The only thing moving was his heart, trying to burst out of his chest.

 

His thoughts inside were moving too fast to be sensible, debating Louis, Haru, Louis, Haru - where on earth was he supposed to go, which direction, which one first?

 

Louis .

 

Louis was injured, right arm in a brace, and carnivore students actively wanted to hurt him.

 

Legosi ran as fast as he possibly could. There was a moment’s confusion in remembering where the front gate would be, before he was running past herbivores and carnivores - people screaming and calling for help - and Legosi had to swallow it because he knew where he was needed this split second.

 

Or - not.

 

Legosi turned around an unlit dinosaur, towards where a security guard was even then waving a flashlight, while even more people had their smart phones turned on as bright as possible.

 

Louis was among them, his good left hand in his pocket - probably holding the gun he carried around. He’d be ready to shoot as soon as he had to.

 

Legosi’s heart gave a happy jump in his chest, waving his arms at the deer.

 

The burly guard quickly interceded, flashing his light at Legosi’s face, “Hold it, wolf!”

 

Legosi froze again, putting his hands up in surrender, and Louis jumped in front of him. 

 

Louis practically yelled, “Knock it off, he’s my friend!” Then he rounded on Legosi, “Where’s Haru? Is she okay?!”

 

Legosi signed fast in the light of the security guard, [I don’t know, I went after you first!]

 

Louis was calculating, rapidly, before he resolved himself. “You can get to her faster on your own! I’m safe here!”

 

Legosi looked like he wanted to whine, but he gave a very quick nod, then took off running in the other direction.

 

He ran through the festival grounds. An herbivore squeaked when he accidentally got too close around a corner, but he couldn’t explain in the dark, he had to keep going. He had to find Haru again, remember where the garden stall was in this maze of a fairground.

 

He passed Juno and Sheila, the two flanking Els. 

 

He saw Bill down one way, who had his arms raised, yelling for the carnivores to form a protective ring around their herbivore schoolmates. Some of them had phone lights, too. In the back of his head, he made a note of Tao and Aoba, both half-crouching and ready for a fight. He couldn’t tow them along, there was no time to explain.

 

And then he heard a scream.

 

A feminine, high-pitched wailing scream of pain and agony.

 

Legosi ran even faster, to where he saw the flashlight of a smart phone. 

 

A tiny white shape was running madly through and under festival stalls while a pair of lions were chasing desperately after her. They were crashing through decorations and displays, pushing and fumbling and falling after her.

 

Pepper spray. Mace? The sharp, painful scent hung in the air, he could smell it with his lupine nose. 

 

Haru was slashing the can of pepper spray at them like it was a sword, hoping to get lucky. 

 

One of them was trying to block with his big arm, the other kept diving away from her attack.

 

Legosi heard the scream again, but it wasn’t coming from Haru - or any woman. It was coming from a third lion, rolling on the ground some distance away, trying to paw away the chemicals searing his eyes.

 

The biggest lion, still trying to block the spray, went in at her again.

 

Legosi grabbed the mallet from a strongman game and didn’t even slow down. 

 

The lion wasn’t looking his way, he was focused on Haru. 

 

Legosi swung the mallet so hard, it smashed the huge lion off of his feet. 

 

The lion went flying into one of the festival stalls, landing hard enough to break the table and boxes inside.

 

The other lion came at Legosi, claws out, slashing through the air.

 

Legosi tried to use the mallet to block, to defend, but it wasn’t meant for combat - not like this. 

 

The lion’s flurry of blows led to one solid slam, and the mallet’s long handle broke. 

 

Legosi instinctively drove the broken wood of it into the lion’s side, and the lion roared. 

 

The sound made Legosi flinch back. 

 

The lion only fought more violently, more furiously. 

 

Legosi tried to pull away, to dodge - made a mistake, backed up into the wall of a festival stall - and took a solid four claw wounds across the chest.

 

Legosi ducked down and rolled away even as the lion slashed through the wall - where the wolf’s throat had just been.

 

The lion followed aggressively, trying to keep up the pressure with each big swipe of his clawed hands.

 

Something was wrong, Legosi couldn’t process, he couldn’t keep up, he felt rattled inside. All his training was caught somewhere in a different file of his brain marked ‘ Cannot read .’

 

He blocked one clawed attack with his left arm on instinct, gaining five new wounds on his forearm.

 

Next swipe, Legosi caught the lion’s wrists in midair.

 

The two of them struggled, trying to out-muscle each other. Legosi was only just keeping the claws from getting closer to his neck, shoes digging into the ground beneath him. The claws were getting nearer, ready and angry, so intent on killing. 

 

The biggest lion was getting back onto his feet. 

 

Legosi’s eyes were going wider, limbs shaking with exertion, trying to think, to plan, but his brain was shutting down, his heart going too fast. He didn’t know what to do.

 

I can’t stop them.

 

The lion Legosi was grappling suddenly roared again - in pain.

 

With both hands, Haru had stabbed her scissors down into the lion’s foot. She opened and twisted the twin blades as hard as she could.

 

The lion’s strength faltered, giving Legosi just one chance to put all his weight into two right hooks - one to the lion’s throat, a second to his head.

 

The lion choked, his eyes unfocused, and Legosi kept up the pressure, punching and punching and punching until the lion collapsed right down onto the ground - scissors still embedded in his bleeding foot.

 

The colossal lion roared - a shudder-inducing sound, it made Legosi flinch again - then he charged at them. Haru acted first.

 

She tried to shoot him with the pepper spray, but the can was already out. 

 

No.

 

She chucked the empty can at the lion, he just swatted it away, still charging at them.

 

The lion reached inside his jacket - like he was reaching for a gun.

 

No!!

 

Legosi burst forward, claws outstretched. 

 

A bullet tore the night open wide.

 

The lion was still.

 

Legosi flinched.

 

Legosi was bleeding. 

 

Legosi had his claws out, still aimed a meter from the lion’s throat.

 

Legosi’s blood dripped on the ground, so loud in the new silence.

 

Louis held the smoking gun in his left hand. He was off to the other side, trying to hold his smart phone up in his injured right, but the brace made that difficult. The phone’s light drifted side to side, unable to stay focused on the lion. 

 

Louis insisted, “I meant to miss. You want me to keep missing? You put that gun down and get the fuck out of here.”

 

The sound of the gun made Legosi flinch, that was all. He was free of bullet holes.

 

The huge lion was growling so loud, he sounded like an avalanche.

 

He was sizing up his chances, wondering how fast he could shoot deer and wolf and still make off with that rabbit by himself.

 

The lion slowly put his gun back into his jacket. 

 

Taking a cautious step away, he growled out, “You’re going to regret this.”

 

Legosi kept his clawed hands forward, and shifted a little more towards Louis’ side of the battle field.

 

Louis grinned fearlessly while Haru backed up beside them. The red deer aimed for the lion’s head, “I can fix that right now if that’s what you want.”

 

The huge lion moved as slow as he could, towards his unconscious companion. “We’ll just settle this another day.”

 

Legosi’s hands were shaking.

 

His mind was filling up with one thought, stuck on repeat.

 

He’s going to get away, he’ll attack again! He’s going to get away, he’ll attack again! He’s going to get away, he’ll attack again! He’s going to get away, he’ll attack again! He’s going to get away, he’ll attack again! He’s going to get away, he’ll attack again! 

 

It was like the jaguar all over again, his face promised murder. 

 

Legosi’s fingers struggled to stay open, claws like blades. His jaws started to spread, body stiff and rigid and all his attention was focused on the lion that was kneeling down in front of them, about to pick up his companion - the lion that tried to kill Haru, tried to kill them, was making more threats, and - Louis’ gun went off.

 

Blood and brain matter went flying as the huge lion hit the ground dead.

 

Legosi turned to the left and threw up immediately. 

 

Legosi fell down onto his hands and knees, and kept throwing up until his stomach was empty, and then some.

 

Haru was wearing shock on her face. “Louis … what did you do?”

 

Louis swallowed new agony in his throat. “He was … going for his gun. He was reaching for his gun…”

…… 

It didn’t take long for a pair of security guards to show up, not after they heard the roaring and the first gunshot. Aoba came, too, holding a piece of metal pipe. The second gunshot just helped narrow down where the fight was actually happening. 

 

They showed up with more flashlights, rapidly trying to take in the scene. 

 

Legosi was laying on his side, trying to control his breathing even as Haru used his scarf to stop some of the bleeding of his arm and chest. Louis continued to hold the smart phone flashlight and his gun, now pointed downwards.

 

The one other lion wouldn’t be able to see for a while, but he had run off somewhere. 

 

The second lion stayed bleeding and unconscious, and the third stayed dead. 

 

Police and paramedics were quickly called in. They’d already been about, just in case something happened in the blackout. Devourings almost always happened in the dark like that, and evidence suggested this had very nearly been one.

 

Electricity returned to the fairgrounds soon enough. 

 

Legosi was bleeding from getting all clawed up, but the biggest injury was to his nerves. He hadn’t needed to use his panic attack medicine since Louis was attacked last week. Haru grabbed an unopened bottle of water from an unmanned stall, to help him drink the pill down. She could pay them back later, it was an emergency now.

 

Haru kept trying to soothe Legosi, to give him a person and a voice to focus on until the medicine would have some effect. He was still breathing fast.

 

The security guards said it was a pretty clear case of self-defense. Three armed thugs against two small herbivores and a (disabled) wolf? Even if he was a pretty big wolf… the odds weren’t in their favor. They got lucky.

 

The gun and the pepper spray evidence just made it all the more clear: the lions were firmly intent on kidnapping or killing - maybe in that order. 

 

For the second time that month, the trio ended up headed towards the hospital. 

 

Louis demanded to go with Legosi in the ambulance, as his interpreter, and flexed some of that Horns reputation in the process.

 

Haru didn’t care to provide an excuse, she was small and refused to be left behind. 

 

The paramedics tried to ask if there was someone to call: Legosi’s father, his mother, anyone.

 

Legosi looked at Louis for help, and fingerspelled [Gosha] with his good right arm. He managed to get his phone out of his pocket, and got it unlocked, but his nerves were still shot. He dropped it on the ambulance floor by accident.

 

Haru crouched down for it. “I got it, Legosi. I got it…”

…… 

Police arrived to take further statements from Louis and Haru at the hospital, while Legosi was receiving proper medical attention for all the claw wounds.

 

But even afterward, when Legosi was just waiting in a hospital bed, the wolf seemed … hollow.

 

He wasn’t really looking or talking while the pair of herbivores tried to keep him informed. He blinked every so often, but mostly his eyes were seeing something very far away. 

 

Louis asked gently, “Legosi, what can we do? What’s going on?”

 

The wolf barely moved his hand, [Nothing].

 

Haru moved to sit next to Legosi on the big medical bed. 

 

She and Louis shared another silent glance, then Haru started to explain, “I’m probably alive because of you. Because we worked on playing Tag, and running, and even keeping some pepper spray handy… so when the lights cut out, I was ready. I did like you taught me. And then you showed up, and we handled those jerks together. We handled it, the three of us.”

 

Legosi just gave a very small nod.

 

Haru tried to hold his hand, to provide comforting pressure.

 

The big phone in Louis’ pocket buzzed, and he quickly got it out. He frowned before suddenly remembering this was Legosi’s phone, not his. 

 

Louis moved closer to hand it back over, “Your mom texted, they just arrived.”

 

That got a response. Legosi’s brows furrowed, he blinked, he frowned. He looked at the phone, and the message about her and Gosha both arriving in the hospital’s parking garage.

 

Legosi looked just a little more sick, a little more defeated. He signed slowly, [You two should leave.]

 

It was Haru’s turn to make a face. “What? Why? What’s wrong?”

 

The wolf gave an exhausted sigh. [Long story. Mom is sensitive. Go. Please.]

 

Haru glanced at Louis, “His mom is what?”

 

“Sensitive?” Louis repeated, but it was as a question for Legosi. “Sensitive in what way?”

 

Legosi signed loudly, [JUST GO!], before immediately covering his eyes with his injured left arm. [Please. Please, just … go.]

 

Haru looked like she was going to argue, and then stopped.

 

She slipped off the bed. “Alright. Okay… We’ll head out. Just … text us, okay? Tell us what’s going on later?”

 

Legosi didn’t make eye contact, just gave a very quick nod.

 

Louis and Haru left the room holding hands. 

 

They didn’t get very far down the hall before two older reptiles went running past.

 

Haru glanced back at the quick pair, and then tugged on Louis’ hand. 

 

She pointed, “…They just went into Legosi’s room.”

 

Louis turned back, trying to look. “What, who? Where? I didn’t see any wolves.”

 

Haru shook her head. “No. Not wolves. Those two … lizards?”

 

Louis and Haru looked at each other with equal confusion.

Chapter 28: Coming out

Summary:

Slight Trigger Warning: Leano makes vague reference to her suicidal ideation.

Legosi's Angst Month continues.

Legosi does not come out of the closet so much as obliterate it with TNT. That's the only joke you get.

This is going to be rough, guys.

Legosi wasn’t expecting to see his mother, Leano. 

 

Gosha, sure, but Leano? She had barely come out of their house for anything in the last decade.

 

That was understandable, really, considering all she’d had to go through in that time. Being a wolf-komodo hybrid was … genetically problematic. Mammals and reptiles were of a very different kind, and her biology had to make sense of a 50/50 split. That left marks. 

 

But here she was in Legosi’s hospital room, wearing pants and a long sleeve turtleneck (despite the warmth of the day). 

 

Legosi had been attending Cherryton for half a year… and a lot of things can change in that time. 

 

Even before he left, she’d been looking komodo, mostly, but with suspiciously pointy ears - shaped like Legosi’s ears. Those scaled ears of hers were particularly notable in that Gosha, Legosi’s grandfather, didn’t have any ear lobes at all. 

 

As the only full-blooded komodo in the bunch, Gosha just had reptilian ear holes. 

 

Leano had a pretty small tail for a komodo, too - just roughly the size of Legosi’s wolf tail. It swayed every so often with canid curiosity. 

 

His mother signed slowly, [Your friend, Louis, told us some of what happened on the phone. …You stopped a devouring?]

 

Legosi barely moved his hand, [No. Louis did.]

 

Gosha signed, too, [Are you having a panic attack? How are you feeling?]

 

[Tired,] Legosi signed. [Can we go home?]

 

Leano gave a big smile. [Yes. Of course. They’re bringing your discharge papers now.]

 

Legosi signed small, [Thanks…]

 

A peafowl arrived shortly with a packet of files, knocking before entering the room. She said warmly, “I got all your paperwork here. …Oh, it is you! I thought I recognized your name. Rough month, huh?”

 

Legosi just signed, [Yes.]

 

Leano interpreted automatically, “He said yes. But, what do you mean, ‘month?’ Recognize him from what?”

 

Legosi felt his throat tighten.

 

The peafowl stiffened, realizing she might have said something she shouldn’t have. “Oh, I just thought I recognized the name. I must have read it somewhere.”

 

Gosha stared at her, then glanced at Legosi. (It wasn’t exactly a common name, old people kept thinking it was ‘Lugosi.’) Still, Gosha took the paperwork, and waited for the nurse to leave before he said what everyone was thinking. 

 

“Legosi,” the old komodo started aloud to get Leano’s attention, “You were here earlier this month, weren’t you?”

 

The wolf had a look of shame across his lowered head. […I was going to tell you. This week has been really … complicated. Can we go home? Please? I just want to go to bed…]

 

Gosha sounded more firm, “Legosi, if you ended up in the hospital, you should have told us. Why didn’t they call us?”

 

Leano spoke up, “Home sounds good. I think our hero deserves a little leniency tonight. …I’m sure Legosi can explain it all later.”

 

Gosha grumbled softly, but nodded.

 

Leano looked to Legosi, trying to be understanding but still so very concerned. [Later,] she told him. [We’ll talk later…] 

……

It was strange, sitting in the bedroom of his childhood. Legosi hadn’t even been gone that long, but it felt like a lifetime away. 

 

His room. 

 

His bed. 

 

His pictures, his books, his games. 

 

Models of insects.

 

An old plastic terrarium.

 

Tiny knick-knacks that only had meaning to him. 

 

He sat there on his bed, and he waited, as if his spirit was still out there in the dark, in the fairgrounds, facing the lion he was about to kill. 

 

I was going to kill him. I was absolutely going to kill him. 

 

He was right there. We weren’t even fighting, the fighting was over, and I still wanted to kill him. 

 

He saw it in his mind over and over, his intent to slash the lion’s neck. 

 

He could imagine every part of it: his claws, the resistance of flesh, the lion’s blood, everything. 

 

It was stuck in his mind like a movie replaying two seconds of film. 

 

Legosi felt broken again.

 

Leano gave a soft tap at his door. “Can I come in?”

 

One clap for no, two claps for yes. 

 

Legosi clapped twice, very softly, barely any energy in his limbs. 

 

He rethought whether he should have done that, but she was already cracking the door open, peering inside. 

 

The mostly komodo-looking woman tried to put on a smile. She signed, [You didn’t feel safe, did you?]

 

Legosi shook his head. 

 

She asked, [Do you feel safe now?]

 

He shook his head again. 

 

Leano grimaced. [Would it help if we talked?]

 

Legosi signed slowly, [I don’t know.]

 

Leano moved carefully to sit on a chair across from him. [Then let’s try? Maybe we’ll get lucky.]

 

Legosi snorted. 

 

[Lucky,] he repeated, like it was the punchline of an unfunny joke. [Like anyone in this family has any good luck.]

 

With a broad, reptilian smile, Leano insisted, [We have a lot of good luck in this family - even if it doesn’t always seem that way.]

 

Legosi didn’t respond.

 

Leano signed slower, and tried to be encouraging. He looked like he needed encouragement. [It was a 1-in-500 chance for your grandparents to have me. I’m alive in defiance of the odds … and so are you. …Though, it hasn’t been easy; I’ll admit that. I have to. I still have problems with my life as a hybrid. There are a lot of things I wish I could change … but I got to give birth to you. That alone makes me a winner at life.] 

 

Legosi made the tiniest acknowledgement, [I’ve never felt like a winner at anything until this month…]

 

Leano tried to guide him, [Then let’s talk about that first. What good things happened that made you feel like a winner?]

 

Legosi was still reluctant, maybe even scared. […Are you going to tell grandpa?]

 

Leano frowned, consideration for something secret. […Whatever it is that happened, I’m sure your grandfather would support you. Gosha has always done his best to take care of us, to love us. He thought Cherryton would be good for the both of us. But if you want something to be just between us … then it can be just between us, for now.] 

 

The young wolf fussed with his hands. 

 

He had to gather his strength to even discuss a small part of it. […I got a girlfriend…]

 

Leano smiled. [But that sounds like a nice thing. Gosha would be happy for you.]

 

Legosi glanced away. It took more energy for him to sign the next part: […and a boyfriend.]

 

Leano tried not to let her face betray surprise. […Oh. …Did she … break up with you?]

 

Legosi shook his head, aware of the scandal. [No. They didn’t. It’s … complicated. It’s really complicated. This whole week has been so complicated, I barely know where to start… It’s why I hadn’t told you guys yet. They were already dating each other. I really liked them both, but I didn’t want to break them up or anything. They were both my friends… my good friends…]

 

[…But they’re not even wolves, or komodo, and I know how hard that’s been for you. Louis is a red deer, and Haru is a dwarf rabbit. And then a jaguar at school tried to kill Louis, and I ended up in a fight to save him. Louis was in danger, and I just … moved. That’s how I ended up at the hospital the first time…]

 

Leano repeated, [The first time?]

 

Legosi nodded downwards. […I didn’t get hurt bad. I would have told you if I did. I just got kicked a lot, when the jaguar was trying to get away. I blocked, I just got some bruises and welts. But I wasn’t even thinking about me, I was thinking about Louis. I had to run Louis to the infirmary, so the doctors could save him. The jaguar bit him really bad, and Louis got all clawed up, too. I was scared he was going to bleed out, really scared…]

 

[…Haru made me see a doctor at the hospital on account of my arm, while we were waiting for Louis - just in case my arm got messed up or something. …I wasn’t even dating them then. I just cared for them. …I guess they cared for me, too. And I didn’t want to worry you and grandpa, and I was already really overwhelmed just because of the fight, and there were things I knew I needed to explain to you, in person…]

 

Legosi hesitated again.

 

He continued smaller, […So I lied about my age, to the hospital. I’m almost eighteen… they didn’t notice yet… I knew they’d figure it out eventually, I was going to tell you first, but Louis and Haru both got really emotional about the attack, like me. And then they were both in the hospital room saying how much they liked me, and appreciated me, and Louis nearly died and … it all just … happened. They asked to date me, together, and … it just made me so happy… They wanted me… They both liked me, and I liked both of them, and it just happened, and now it’s all probably over.]

 

Leano asked carefully, trying to keep the order of events straight in her head, [Is that what happened tonight?]

 

[No,] Legosi practically choked. He started signing bigger, faster, [Tonight we were on a date, my first date, all three of us, and it was great, and I was so happy, and I felt - normal! I felt normal , and I was so happy, and then we realized the festival was starting early this year, we’d been preoccupied with everything else since the attack, and we hadn’t finished getting ready! The garden club makes most of its yearly budget from festival sales, we can’t afford to miss it, but Louis said he’d help us and we all ran to finish stuff up at the fairgrounds. But then there was a blackout, and we were separated, and these lions came out of nowhere and tried to grab Haru!]

 

Legosi’s eyes were widening like he could see it all again, and he hated it, and himself. […But I ran to Louis first! I thought Louis was in more danger! Because there are rumors about other students wanting to kill him, like the jaguar, cause Louis is probably going to be Cherryton’s first Beastar in five years! But bad things keep happening around me, and I keep ending up in fights just trying to protect people, but I freak out and make everything worse, and now there are all these rumors that have gotten completely out of control!]

 

Legosi found himself sniffling, but he kept on signing. There was just so much, his head wanted to explode. [The school thinks I’m some kind of vigilante hero, when all I know how to do is throw a good punch! Now people want me to be the school’s Beastar, but they don’t know what’s going on, I’m messed up in the head, and I don’t know how to talk, or even how to tell people about this stuff, and I can’t even talk to you or grandpa about it -]

 

Legosi choked, [Because in all of this, I was looking forward to the drama club so much, I love theater, but I got so stressed out over it that it’s probably what woke up the PTSD. I got PTSD from the tiger attack! I kept having panic attacks, I told you that, but I lied! I lied to you! I didn’t want you to know about the PTSD, I’ve been seeing a doctor, a therapist, I’ve been trying to handle it all, and I’ve been trying to hide it from you two cause I’m, I’m broken! I’m just broken! I quit the drama club because I had to! It was too much!]

 

Legosi couldn’t stop, the dam was bursting open. [Everything is too much! I don’t know how to handle anything anymore! I’m broken, and it’s not your fault, it’s not Grandpa’s fault, it’s not Jack’s fault, it’s all me. Everything in my head is just wrong! I can’t be a normal guy, I can’t be a normal student, I can’t be a normal anything. That lion was trying to kidnap Haru and he threatened to come back - he was going to come back! He said it! I saw it! He wanted to kill us and, and all I could think about was that I needed to kill him first!]

 

Legosi’s eyes misted over, more tears slipping down his face, barely able to see anything anymore. [I needed to kill him, I was going to rip out his throat myself, with my own hands, we weren’t even fighting anymore, and the only reason I didn’t kill him was because Louis shot first! Cause Louis started carrying a gun for his self-defense, and Louis said the lion was reaching for his own gun, I couldn’t tell, all I could think of was he couldn’t get away!]

 

Legosi started hitting the side of his head, [He threatened to come back, to attack us again! I had to kill him first!! I had to! I had to, but Louis did, and I shouldn’t be happy about that but I am! Because now he’s dead and we’re safe and my insides are just wrong! How fucked up is this that I’m so happy he’s dead?? It’s wrong! I’m wrong!! I hate that I feel this way! I wish, I wish , I could have been born normal!!]

 

Leano gently reached to comfort his wrists, to stop him hitting himself, and she whispered, “I wish I could be normal, too.”

 

Legosi sniffled hard, only seeing her vague outline through his overflowing tears, and somehow she was radiant. 

 

Leano looked at him with understanding love. She gently stroked the fluff of his cheek with one hand, “I wanted to be normal so bad. I was so good at faking it when I grew up. I could pass off as a normal gray wolf, 100%, and I embraced my beauty and simplicity like it was the only thing of value. I thought that’s what the world wanted, the only thing the world loved: an animal that is beautiful and simple.”

 

Leano looked like she was remembering something: a good memory that went bad, and it made her uncomfortable. “When I was little, I told Gosha to his face that I was going to keep him a secret from my classmates - like him being my father was something to be ashamed of and hidden…”

 

“…And then I began to change… I started growing scales, and I started losing fur. And you know how self-conscious I am, and I’ve hid in this house for so long because of it. I hated my reflection in the mirror, the way my eyes began to change, how my structure and angles slowly became more reptilian. I felt wrong. I wished I could have been normal, so much, so I know … I know how hard it is to live with yourself, when your own mind is trying to convince you of terrible lies. So … I’m going to tell you something I haven’t told you, or Gosha, or anyone…”

 

“…I was going to kill myself, when you were old enough.”

 

Legosi’s sorrowful expression twisted into fear. 

 

Leano continued seriously, still comforting him with her touch. “I had it all planned out. I knew what I was going to do, the where, the when, the how. I don’t talk about your father, because he was just a means to an end. I was selfish in that I wanted to leave one last beautiful thing in the world. And that was you…”

 

Leano smiled genuine warmth, satisfaction and happiness.

 

“…And raising you made me so happy, you brought so much joy and wonder into my little life … but I was still going to do it… I was getting worse as you grew older. My fur loss and growing scales made me feel terrible to be in my own body, like I was a patchwork monster. Even my irises were changing. And then … my little hero tried to save someone…”

 

Leano thought of that moment with a mixture of pride and regret.

 

She continued, “When you got injured … it woke something up in me. I couldn’t go through with my plan anymore. I couldn’t leave you and Gosha, you needed me. So for a long time, I wasn’t living to be ‘beautiful and simple’ anymore. I was living to love you, to take care of you, to be with you. Loving you gave me purpose…”

 

Leano was content with that.

 

“…I suppose that was codependent of me, but it worked. It got me through. The thought of losing you nearly killed me, and I didn’t want to die anymore - no matter what I looked like. And as time passed, as you and I both grew up, and as I became more and more komodo … I realized how much more of life there was for me to live…”

 

“…So I stayed for you, and I stayed for Dad … and at some point … I decided to stay for me…”

 

Leano wondered, “I don’t know if there is something like ‘normal’ out there. Maybe it exists. It’s easier to think other people have normalcy, like it’s something to see at the supermarket. I’ve been going grocery shopping all on my own this year, and I’m kind of proud of that. I know I’m not normal, and that’s … okay. I think that’s okay now…”

 

She admitted, “…I still struggle with that of course. I still have my bad days. You are going to have bad days, too. And you are going to have good days, and great days, and best days, and you won’t even realize which one is which at the time. Things look so different in hindsight…”

 

Leano insisted, “But you need to know - if you know nothing else, if you ever worry about the person you are, or the things you are going through - you keep this in mind: … no matter what is going on … you are not alone in it. You can want to be normal; I want to be normal. But you are an amazing young man, whose instinct is to help others in need, and you do it without even realizing how much of a difference that makes in other people’s lives. I don’t know if that’s ‘normal’ either - but … it is what makes you great . It’s what makes you good…”

 

She squeezed his wrists, kindness and encouragement. “…You are a wonderful young man, and you’ve had to go through so much pain in your life already. You have suffered more than your share. And you - despite everything you may think or feel - you deserve to find happiness. So if Louis and Haru make you feel happy, if they make you feel loved, then you fight for them. There are times you have to fight, I know Gosha’s taught you that, and he’s right. And if that lion was going to take your loved ones from you, then you do whatever you can. You kick and claw and yes, you kill if you have to. You survive …”

 

“…You are a survivor , Legosi. Whatever it takes, you survive. You keep surviving, you fight, for all the good and great moments to come in your life. You make that promise to yourself and your loved ones. And at the end of the day, if you’re tired and exhausted and it hurts to be you, then you talk to me, or Gosha, or your friends. Talk to someone. Because the world is a better place because you are in it, and I know that people everywhere will see that, too. The world needs your light. And if your classmates think you could be a Beastar, it’s probably because you are already shining like a star for them…”

 

Leano gently stroked his cheek. “…You were my light, growing up. I promise you, you can be a light for others just as you are, even if nothing about you is normal at all. A light in the darkness will always stand out. You share my blood, and your grandfather’s blood … so I know you can be stronger and sweeter than any pure-blooded wolf ever could. Your life will be filled with a potential that only you can fulfill - and I can’t wait to see how great you shine. I love you, Legosi… Live more , Legosi - and one day, I promise you … all these bad moments will just be distant memories…”

 

Leano leaned in, and gave a gentle kiss to her son’s forehead.

 

Tiny wet lines continued to stream down from his eyes, and she patted them carefully away.

 

The reptilian, pointy-eared Leano gave as big and warm a smile as she could. “Live more, Legosi … and sleep tight. You’ll feel better in the morning…”

Chapter 29: Not what they meant

Summary:

Please trust me, I write happy endings, I swear.

Notes:

As always, comments are very much appreciated. :)

Also, ahhhhh, oh my god, shout-out to "Taiarts," who drew this amazing piece of Lego and Leano! My feels! The feels I have!

Also "C" also drew something amazing of their dinner date and I'll be adding that in the next chapter's intro! But I don't want to get things too crowded for people but Leano, she needed to be shared now. She just had her moment.

 

 

In the hideout of the Shishigumi, in the relaxed space of his personal office, Chief Lion reclined back on the couch. His hands rested on a cane in front of him. He sounded deadly serious, “Free, something is wrong with your voice. Say that again.”

 

Free the Indian lion frequently rubbed at his face with an ice pack, eyes an agonizing shade of red. He mumbled, “…We didn’t get the animal, boss…”

 

Chief Lion stared at him, slitted pupils like they could burn a new hole right through Free’s skull. “Who is ‘we,’ and why are they not here before me?”

 

Free seemed to shrink a bit in place, keeping his head bowed low. “Xander and Malach… I couldn’t really see what was happening, on account of the pepper spray, but there was fighting, roaring, stuff breaking, and guns firing. It was hard enough for me to just get away on my own, I couldn’t help them any…”

 

Chief Lion blinked with almost serpentine laziness. “Three of the great Shishigumi, under the cover of a blackout, were unable to catch a single rabbit?”

 

Free bent nearly double to apologize. “She sucker-punched me, boss! But there’s no way she knew we were hunting her! She was just completely ready to attack, before she even knew we were there! I’m sorry! I don’t know what happened to Xander and Malach, but it won’t happen again! I’ll get the rabbit myself, alone, I swear!”

 

Chief Lion was growling dangerously under his breath. 

 

Against one wall, a pair of katana rested upon a rack of antlers. Chief Lion considered using one of them right now. 

 

The chief explained, “You are a competent fighter, Free. You even identified my prey. But you have brought embarrassment upon the Shishigumi. Be grateful I don’t kill you tonight. Yet I remain hungry; for my dinner this evening, you have no second chances. Miguel!”

 

The door opened to Chief Lion’s office, and the lion with a braided mane entered the room. He asked, “How can I serve you, boss?”

 

Chief Lion was still staring daggers into Free with his eyes. “You know I am a gourmet, Miguel. I wait for my meals so patiently. My absolute condition for prey is fur without pigment. White-furred animals have the most delicious meat, you know this, and I am growing hungry, Miguel. Tomorrow, on the festival fairgrounds, a white-furred animal will be selling flowers for the Cherryton garden club. Bring them back to me unharmed, so I may devour them. Take Sabu and Dolph.” He glared again at Free. “Does this sound complex?”

 

Miguel bowed at the waist, “No, boss. We will not fail you.”

 

Chief Lion growled low in his chest. “See that you do not.”

……

Legosi had left his phone off overnight. He wasn’t sure he had the energy to talk with Haru and Louis. 

 

Everything had gone wrong, their first date was ruined, he had broken down right in front of them … and he nearly killed someone with his bare hands, right in front of them.

 

He wasn’t safe. Not for them.

 

What a joke to think a carnivore could ever be good for one herbivore, much less two.

 

He didn’t think he could handle it, if they wanted to break up.

 

It was easy for him to think that way last night, that they would hate him, that they’d want nothing to do with him. He still hated himself when he went to bed.

 

He didn’t have his nightly medicine, it was at Cherryton. He used an antihistamine to help get to sleep. Sometimes those would work. Gosha kept around a lot of medicines like that, on the off-chance someone had an allergic reaction around komodos or their venom.

 

Sleeping hadn’t fixed everything, but he did feel a little better - more removed from last night’s threat.

 

So Legosi woke up in his old bed, and he stared at his blank phone for a good long while. It was still very early, barely even dawn, but he couldn’t go back to sleep.

 

He was never a morning person.

 

His thumb hovered over the power button, hesitating, before finally turning it on.

 

He waited for the screen to illuminate. He saw the little apps show up, the phone was trying to connect to the wi-fi, but … he didn’t see any messages.

 

Legosi felt his heart sink a bit. He thought they would have sent something, even if it was just to say goodbye.

 

But of course they didn’t… I scared them. I scared me. They probably don’t want to hear from me… 

 

Legosi drafted a new text message for Louis and Haru, and he typed something short. {I’m sorry I got overwhelmed. I’ll leave you guys alone.}

 

Legosi set his phone down, and went down the hall to the old family bathroom. 

 

It hadn’t changed too much. He noticed a few more scale-care products though. That was probably Leano. She could almost pass as some nondescript reptile now, if she hid the last few patchy spots of fur. She probably enjoyed that.

 

The doctors could never be certain how far or for how long this metamorphosis would be going on for her. Hybrids were always unique cases; reptilian-mammalian hybrids were even more unheard of. 

 

Legosi stared at himself in the mirror for a minute or two.

 

For the briefest moment, Legosi almost wished he could be komodo. Then he’d never have to worry about being recognized as the ‘Wolf Demon’ again.

 

He didn’t want to be a demon.

 

More likely, he’d just end up a patchwork person, like Leano had been. Legosi knew he was lucky just to pass as well as he did - but he also knew his eyes had changed in the last few years.

 

Leano had started to change before his age. When he was young, she practically promised him that he’d grow to look like a regular gray wolf - like the father he never met. 

 

Legosi ran his fingers through the gray fluff of his cheeks, then over his skull. 

 

He looked down at the bandages wrapped around his forearm. He unwound it slowly, carefully, to check how it was healing after getting clawed up the night before. 

 

They had to trim the fur around the injuries, to actually thread the stitches. They had to get it pretty short, because of how close the wounds were grouped together. They had to get all the way down to his undercoat. 

 

Legosi took off his shirt next, and the bandages around his chest. He wanted to check on those wounds, too.

 

Legosi looked at himself in the mirror again. 

 

He took in the shape of his ears, his solid shoulders, his trim middle.

 

Louis the red deer said he liked the wolf’s body - past tense at least - but … 

 

A thought got in Legosi’s sleepy head, and he couldn’t shake it. It dug in like a snake and refused to let go. 

 

… I want to be different … 

……

Leano knocked gently on the bathroom door. “Legosi? Are you okay, sweetie? You’ve been in there for a long time.”

 

Two knocks back for yes.

 

She asked, “Do you need anything?”

 

A few seconds more, and Legosi opened the door while still holding the electric clippers.

 

Leano blinked several times. “Oh. That’s … short.”

 

Legosi gave a very slow, almost embarrassed shrug, then asked, [Can you get the vacuum? I should clean this up.]

 

Leano gave him a reassuring smile back. “Sure. No problem. I was just wondering because Gosha will need to be heading to work soon. We didn’t know if you wanted to stay the day here, or go back to school; we thought you should make that decision for yourself.”

 

Legosi had to think another moment. 

 

Haru might not want to see him, but … he was still a part of the gardening club - until she told him otherwise. He felt some responsibility for its success. If Haru kicked him out of the club, at least she’d still have the festival sales for the club’s budget.

 

Legosi was more awake now though, and with that, Legosi recognized he might be (/was probably /definitely) on an irrational train of thought. 

 

He knew his therapist would have encouraged him to challenge it, to redirect messy feelings with objective information, but Legosi didn’t know if he had the energy for mental labor like that. Maybe after he had breakfast. 

 

He finally just signed, […Haru might still need help this afternoon, at the fairgrounds. I should go back to Cherryton.]

 

Leano gave him another big smile. “If you’re ready for it. …You look good, you know. Very trim. Professional-looking.”

 

Legosi scratched a bit where the extra fluff of his cheeks used to be. [Thanks. I just wanted to do something different…] 

 

‘To be someone different,’ his mind corrected him.

 

Leano started to walk away, when Legosi tapped to get her attention again.

 

Legosi still looked a little anxious, but he signed, [Thank you for talking to me last night… I think I needed to hear that…]

 

The very reptilian hybrid came all the way over, to give her son another tight hug. 

 

She signed to keep Gosha from overhearing her, [When you’re ready to tell your grandpa … we can tell him together. But don’t doubt for a moment that he loves you, Legosi. He would give up everything for this family. He’s done it before, and he’d do it again. He wants to see you happy, too…]

 

Legosi hugged her a second time, for a longer time, and the last of his cut gray fur got on her clean clothes.

……

Gosha had just started driving Legosi to Cherryton when the wolf’s phone buzzed once. 

 

Legosi pulled it out of his pocket, and saw he had a new message - or rather, an old message that his phone just received, from Haru. 

 

{Hey. So, we both know you pretty well by now. Louis is worried you’re upset with him because he shot that lion. We don’t know exactly why you got self-conscious about your family, or why your mom is sensitive - but you have a tendency to feel bad about things you shouldn’t have to feel bad about. And you’re probably overwhelmed, and you might feel like disconnecting for a while. We understand. It was a scary night for everyone…}

 

{…So, this is to remind you that we love you, and whenever you’re ready to talk to us, we’ll listen. We love you because you are Legosi, not because you’re a wolf. Also you’ve pretty much saved both our lives now, so in case you need reminding … we definitely want you in those lives. Please come back soon. If you can. No pressure. Take time to heal if you need to.}

 

It suddenly occurred to Legosi that he wasn’t sure if his phone ever connected to the wi-fi at home… He hadn’t been very attentive, he’d been half asleep.

 

He’d have to ask Gosha if they changed the password, or if they’d been having router problems in the last few months. 

 

His phone must have just sent his own message, because a reply came back from Haru, {You have nothing to apologize for. It was a really bad way to end the night, we get that. But we got through it because of you. We got through it together. That’s what matters.}

 

Louis replied quickly after her, {We don’t want to be alone. We want you, just as soon as you’re ready to be here.}

 

Legosi’s tail started thumping noisily in the car. 

 

Gosha looked over at him when they stopped at a red light. He asked in that worrisome, grandfatherly way, “What's going on? Is something wrong?”

 

[No,] Legosi replied quickly. [It's good. It’s … very good.]

……

If he hadn’t been wearing his usual scarf, Louis might not have recognized Legosi in the classroom. He was pretty much the only wolf to ever wear a scarf around Cherryton.

 

Some of the other students were taking notice of his shorter fur, too, and Legosi was pretty sure he saw someone taking a picture of him with their smart phone.

 

The red deer looked like he might stammer, and whispered, “That is … quite a fur cut.”

 

Legosi looked embarrassed. [I just wanted to do something different…]

 

Louis amended rapidly, “It’s not bad. Just different. You look fine. Leaner. Well, you always look pretty buff, just - you know what I mean. Have you shown Haru?”

 

The wolf had a reluctant smile, [No, not yet…]

 

Louis looked at the white wolf a little longer, happy just to have him back. “You’re practically the same color as her now. Have you trimmed … everywhere?”

 

Legosi scratched his neck beneath the scarf, looking more modest. [Well, they had to trim around the wounds on both my arm and chest, so … I just figured I’d make it all the same length. …Why?]

 

Louis cleared his throat, “No reason. Just curious.”

 

Legosi leaned in a bit more suspiciously. He asked with a playful expression, […Were you thinking gay thoughts again?]

 

Louis scoffed, “No. …maybe…”

 

Legosi gave a small puff of a laugh.

 

The red deer insisted more quietly, “I’m really glad you’re back, Legosi… I was afraid you wouldn’t want to talk to me after what happened last night…”

 

Legosi replied somberly, [I didn’t think you’d want to talk to me…]

 

Louis gave a soft smile, and started, “Legosi…”

 

The red deer took out his phone to be sneakier. Louis explained, {Legosi, if you’d been here last night, I would have snuck you into my dorm room and cuddled the hell out of you all night long.}

 

Legosi’s white tail wagged faster again. […Is that offer still on the table?]

 

Louis grinned. “We’ll just be very, very sneaky.”

……

The three of them sat alone for lunch, up on the rooftop pool. 

 

Legosi was smiling, but he still raised a brow incredulously. [Seriously?]

 

Haru scoffed, “Well, I’m not taking it out here … but, yeah. Louis called his dad since the police temporarily confiscated his firearm. So Louis has a new gun now, and I have my very own, rabbit-appropriate pistol. And more pepper spray.”

 

Legosi was still a little uncomfortable. 

 

Legosi typed out for her, {I feel like I should say something about gun safety, and how gun owners are more likely to hurt themselves or family, rather than a bad guy … but big carnivore bad guys did just try to grab you last night…}

 

Haru nodded along, still unusually serious for her. “Yeah… I was willing to let Louis be the only gun-owner in our little trio before … but if Louis hadn’t caught up to us last night, we might not be a trio at all.”

 

The wolf clearly grimaced. 

 

Louis finally got around to swallowing a big bite of his food. He told Legosi, “Don’t worry. I went over a bunch of safety stuff with her last night. My dad even took us to a firing range for a bit with some of his security team. Those guys are gun-toting professionals.”

 

The wolf’s head tilted left. […How exactly does he feel about … last night? I imagine you had to tell him…]

 

Louis gave a weird laugh. “Unexpectedly? Satisfied. Dare I say it, he might have been strangely proud that I actually took down a murderous large-breed carnivore - and I think he got a kick out of me helping you instead of the other way around. I suppose I proved myself to him, even with my arm the way it is. Now he knows last week won’t happen to me again.”

 

Haru groaned in a lighter, relaxed sort of way, “I’m really trying not to complain, but … your dad is so weird… Didn’t he ever do normal dad things with you, like teach you to ride a bike, talk to you about puberty, liking girls? ‘When you become a teenager, your body will start changing, your voice will deepen, and you’ll start growing … antlers’.”

 

Louis scoffed, “Fuck no. I got talks about business economics, political science, how to perpetrate a hostile takeover in a society that sees you as a potential meal.”

 

Haru wondered, “Lesson one, carry a big gun?”

 

Louis teased, “No, lesson one is ‘you can terrify carnivores bigger than you into obedience by radiating a killer’s self-confidence’.”

 

Haru glanced at Legosi, as if to comment as the only big carnivore around.

 

The wolf was still chewing his own lunch as he signed, […Um … Well … Louis definitely scared me a lot, before I confronted him in Adler …]

 

The red deer winced, “Admittedly, I may have taken that lesson a little too close to heart…”

 

Haru giggled, “No more scaring our boyfriend, Louis.”

 

Louis grumbled, “I’m trying not to! I’m trying not to be the Dark Lord of Cherryton anymore - which is weird, I have to admit, because without actively trying to be the next Beastar, I’m apparently left with daddy issues and a lot of horny thoughts about you two.”

 

Haru smirked, “Finally, Louis gets to act his real age. Welcome to the life of the teenage male, Louis.”

 

Legosi gave a tiny breathy laugh. [Louis can be a little scary, as a treat.]

……

The evening was going to be all games and sales. The Meteor Festival, officially, would be tomorrow night, but today the fairgrounds would open for the fun. Clearly, this was going to be a better night than yesterday, but Legosi remained anxious, nervous.

 

Before leaving for the fairgrounds that afternoon, Legosi still wanted to make sure everyone had whatever they needed to be safe - up to and including pepper spray and firearms. 

 

Those three lions had attacked just last night, and though two of them were nor longer a concern, Legosi wanted them to be prepared on the off-chance anything else happened. Legosi insisted that the two herbivores stick together and watch each other’s backs at all times. 

 

With his arm in a brace, Louis wasn’t needed for the drama club’s productions anyway, so this was a rare opportunity for Louis to spend time working alongside the pair. 

 

The festival grounds had more security that afternoon, so that was encouraging. 

 

Considering the damage that had happened the night before, the garden club wasn’t the only stall that was still fixing things and patching things up.

 

Legosi heard someone yelling, “What do you mean the mallet’s missing?? How do you lose a giant mallet?!” “You forget to cherish her.” 

 

Legosi walked faster. 

 

Before they even knew it, people of all ages were arriving at the garden club’s stall. Some were just perusing the plants, but others were actually buying the things that they had grown. Legosi thought there was something satisfying about being able to sell the work of their hands. 

 

Haru and Louis handled the actual sales - the talking that is, sometimes translating for Legosi - but Legosi handled a lot of the bagging and packing for people. He also lifted the occasional potted plant for a closer look. 

 

Legosi had a feeling some of the Cherryton students were buying plants just as an excuse to see Louis (or Legosi), but no one wanted to say that out loud. It didn’t matter anyway. The more sales they made, the more the garden club could afford to do in the year to come.

 

An hour passed in very short order. 

 

And then Haru reached for her water bottle, only to realize the unfortunate: “Ugh… I didn’t think I was drinking that much, but I’m already empty. Can you two handle the booth for a while? I’m gonna get a drink.”

 

Legosi immediately clapped his hands, [No! No going alone!]

 

Haru scoffed, “Legosi, it’s still broad daylight! None of those brutes would try something in the day, and that’s even assuming that one jerk wants to risk his eyeballs again. I'm pretty sure they sell drinks just around the corner.”

 

Legosi insisted, [Doesn’t matter! Stay together! You have the guns, you stay together!]

 

Louis winced, “I’m kind of inclined to agree with him, Haru.”

 

Legosi asked instead, [What do you want to drink? I’ll go get you something and be right back. I can write it down.]

 

Haru wondered, “Carrot juice would be real nice, or something fruity - but maybe stock up on more water for the rest of the evening.”

 

Legosi wrote it down quick in his phone. [And Louis?]

 

The red deer looked amused. “Anything vegetable is fine by me. Or an energy drink.”

 

Legosi nodded, and looked content. [Right. I got it. I’ll be back soon.]

 

Haru sighed wistfully, “Thanks, Legosi. You’re the best.”

 

Louis joked, “And you watch your own back, too, alright? You’re not invincible.”

 

Legosi smiled. [I’ll be safe.]

 

Legosi still wasn’t back in an hour.

Chapter 30: The search

Summary:

Red alert. All hands to battle stations.

(A new record for me: a ridiculous 15 characters talking in a group. Yeesh. I'm not doing that again lol.)

Notes:

As always, comments are very much appreciated. :)

Also, shout-out to "C," who drew another piece of our intrepid trio! Ahhh, their date night looks so cute! They will have good days like this again, I promise.

Legosi’s head hurt. It was pounding, beating, aching, and he couldn’t even remember why. 

 

He felt foggy. 

 

He couldn’t open his eyes. 

 

Blood.  

 

He smelled blood - so much of it, and meat. 

 

His heart tried to smash straight out of his chest. 

 

The smell of it all was thick in the air.

 

Blood and meat, of a dozen different kinds. 

 

Something chemical, too, some kind of strong plant smell - but it wasn’t anything that grew in Haru’s garden.

 

And … felines?

 

His brain didn’t want to work.

 

Legosi was waking up faster then. 

 

A half dozen men were arguing loudly in the room, like they were about to start fighting each other. Legosi didn’t recognize the voices, any of them. 

 

“Are you serious? Are you fucking serious?! You guys brought back a wolf?!”

 

Someone was shoving someone else.

 

“The boss said to get the white animal from the garden club. We got the white animal from the garden club.”

 

“The white herbivore!! The white fucking herbivore, not a wolf!!”

 

“What, the rabbit?”

 

“Yes, the fucking rabbit!”

 

“Give me a fucking break! That urchin was never going to fill the boss’ stomach.”

 

“But it was prey! There aren’t many full-grown animals around here with pure white fur!”

 

“He’s white.”

 

“Why is he white?!”

 

“ Rex , Free. You can’t just ask why someone’s white.”

 

“He was gray the other week!!”

 

“Well, he’s white now.”

 

“The boss wants them without pigment! Gray is a pigment! We can’t fuck up twice in a row!”

 

“You fucked up, not us. We got the white animal, and we didn’t even get pepper sprayed in the process.”

 

Something clicked inside Legosi’s aching head. He remembered how Haru hit at least one of the lions with the pepper spray. 

 

The one that crawled away. 

 

It was them, the lions, it had to be. There were more of them - a whole lot more than three. 

 

They wanted someone with white fur. 

 

Fear helped get him awake. He finally realized the reason he couldn’t open his eyes? It was because he was blindfolded. 

 

Legosi was too scared to move, terrified to draw their attention, but he could feel other things. 

 

He felt like he was laying on a couch.

 

He felt rope on his wrists, hands tied behind his back. 

 

He felt a muzzle on his jaws. 

 

He felt himself start to panic, start to flash back to the creepy panda’s office. 

 

Legosi pleaded with himself, Don’t throw up, don’t throw up, don’t get sick, don’t get sick!

 

One of the lions laughed at the wolf’s emotive ears - the anxious way they were twitching. “Well, somebody’s awake!”

 

Legosi found it harder to breathe. 

 

He started gasping. 

 

He started shaking. 

 

Contain it. Control it. I’m. I’m fine. I can - I can -

 

Someone grabbed Legosi by his shirt, and yanked him into sitting up on the couch. The lion complained, “I don’t know what’s with your fur, but for all our sake, you better be all white.”

 

Legosi heard a knife flick open. 

 

The lion growled, “Don’t move. We got to do a full body check before we let the boss see you.”

 

Legosi heard the knife slowly tearing through his shirt. 

 

Someone else mockingly encouraged him, “Yeah, you stay calm like that. We’re just gonna take off your clothes. It’ll be easier than peeling a tomato.”

 

The pitch black of the blindfold somehow grew darker still. The void sunk its weight onto Legosi, coiling around his chest, his throat. 

 

Legosi shut down inside. 

…… 

Jack’s phone started ringing during the middle of his evening studies. 

 

He would have ignored it, but he recognized the number - and ignoring Louis the red deer was a perilous decision. 

 

The last time Jack got a call from him was ages ago, when they needed to discuss interpreting for Legosi’s classes.

 

The labrador accepted the call, “Hello? Louis?”

 

Louis asked right away, “Is Legosi there? Is Legosi with you??”

 

The red deer sounded panicked - a distinctly unusual occurrence.

 

Jack frowned, “No? Isn’t he with the garden club, at the fairgrounds?”

 

Louis insisted, “He was! He was here, he left for drinks an hour ago and never came back! We can’t find him! He’s not responding to messages!”

 

The labrador had to think about that. “Well, it’s Legosi… Sometimes he can’t reply right away…”

 

The red deer spoke louder, “Didn’t he tell you about the gangsters?!”

 

Jack shot up out of his seat, “What gangsters?! When?! I know he had to go home yesterday -”

 

Louis nearly yelled, “Because of the gangsters! Because Haru was attacked yesterday by three lions! Haru pepper sprayed one, Legosi knocked out a second, I had to shoot the third! The only one that got away shouldn’t have even seen Legosi, but now Legosi is nowhere! We thought maybe there was just a long line for drinks, but we’ve been trying to message him for half an hour and he’s still not responding!!”

 

Jack was trying to think, trying to process and plan. “I’ll get the guys. I’ll call Gosha. Do what you can now, it’ll take us time to get to the fairgrounds.”

……

Louis and Haru ran all the way to the drama club’s tent, panting.

 

Juno spoke first, “Oh, Louis!”

 

The red deer ordered, “We need help! I need everyone’s help! Legosi’s gone missing!”

 

Tao repeated, “Legosi?”

 

Els responded seriously, “What about Legosi? What’s wrong?”

 

Louis explained fast, thumbed at Haru, “The two of us got attacked by gangsters last night! Legosi was with us, he saved her, he went for drinks an hour ago, but he still hasn’t come back! We’ve been trying to contact him for thirty minutes but he’s not responding!”

 

Kibi’s voice raised high, “Gangsters?! What kind of gangsters?!”

 

Haru said fast, “Lions! The kind that eat people, what else!?”

 

Ellen the zebra snapped back, “We can’t fight gangsters! We’re students!”

 

Louis insisted, “You don’t need to fight, but the fairgrounds are too big! We already talked to security, they’re barely helping cause he’s a carnivore, and we don’t have enough bodies to search the place for clues!”

 

Haru pleaded, “Please! There’s too much ground to cover! We aren’t Legosi, we don’t have his nose!”

 

Riz commented, slightly unsure of himself getting involved, “Bears have good noses.”

 

Aoba managed to sound calm, “If someone grabbed him even half an hour ago, we’re already running out of time. We need to work fast. We can spread out in different directions. We can ask others to help look, too, or ask if they saw something.”

 

Louis cautioned, “Everyone pair up! Stay close! Keep your phones handy, we just need to look for clues!”

 

The group exchanged several more words, reminders of who all had whose numbers, before everyone finally took off running separate ways.

……

Louis had to make another call even while he and Haru were searching high and low for some sign of Legosi or his presumed kidnappers.

 

Pick up, pick up, for once in your life, put down the work and pick the fuck up!

 

Oguma answered his cellphone, “Louis. Are you okay?”

 

“No, I’m not!” Louis said outright. “I need your security team! The best one!!”

 

Oguma made a fumbling noise on the other end of the line, “Where are you? What’s wrong?”

 

“Festival fairgrounds, the Meteor Festival!” Louis answered in a rush. “Legosi’s missing! We thought it was just a long line, but he isn’t responding and it’s been an hour! He was supposed to be right back!”

 

Oguma paused. “The wolf?”

 

“Yes, the wolf!” Louis practically yelled. “We fought those brutes last night, and now he’s nowhere to be found! He was only supposed to be gone a few minutes, but that was an hour ago!”

 

The old stag spoke calmly, “Louis, he’s a large carnivore. He can handle himself.”

 

Then Louis really did yell, “Are you listening to me?! There might be more gangsters! The one that got away shouldn’t have even seen Legosi, but there might be more of them! Maybe there was a fourth! A fifth! There might be an army!! Something!!”

 

Oguma questioned, “And what do you propose to do? Storm the den of a hungry gang of carnivores?”

 

Louis insisted, “If I have to!”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the old stag replied. “He’s just a wolf, and a broken one at that.”

 

Louis shouted, “He’s my wolf! Mine! And he’s not broken! Don’t you dare say that again!!”

 

Oguma ordered, “Louis, control yourself.”

 

Louis swore, “Tell Azuki: the fucking marriage is off! I’m going to save my boyfriend! And you can either give me the people to do it or not, but I’m fucking going! And if you won’t help? Then fuck you, too!!”

 

Louis slammed the call off.

 

Haru made a note to feel proud, later.

…… 

It was Kibi who found the small card and the cloth - he was lower to the ground. He and Tao called everyone back together.

 

Haru asked, “What is it? A playing card?”

 

Fudge the red panda looked at it closer. He stated, “Definitely not. I don’t recognize that symbol.”

 

Riz sniffed at it, “But Kibi is right, it smells like lions - and this torn piece of cloth is definitely from Legosi’s scarf.”

 

Sheila knew, “It’s the Shishigumi. That’s their symbol: those are the marks around the Chief’s eyes.”

 

Bill questioned, “How do you know that?”

 

Sheila hushed him, “Not the time!”

 

Els asked, “What’s the Shishigumi?”

 

Sheila answered, “They’re a gang, lions - big, tough, gun-wielding lions - who make a whole business of meat and devouring. They leave bodies to rot outside their base just to send a message.”

 

Louis pressed, “Where are they? Where’s their base??”

 

Sheila frowned, “By the back alley market, where else? Huge building, all decrepit - like someone tried smashing a bunch of new buildings into another one that was falling apart. It has a pagoda up top. They’ve got a pond or something nearby.”

 

Haru asked, “Can you take us there?”

 

Sheila replied fast, “What? No! Fuck no! Did you hear anything I just said??”

 

Louis got closer, “But they have Legosi! They kidnapped Legosi!!”

 

Ellen the zebra nearly yelled, “Then he’s already dead! We can’t do anything else!”

 

Like the flip of a switch, Louis once more looked like a frightened kid.

 

Haru stomped towards the zebra, “Legosi has been helping and saving people left and right since he came to Cherryton! He probably got kidnapped because of that! Now he’s the one who needs our help, and it’s too much?? How can you even say that?!”

 

Dom groaned, “Because it’s true! We can’t fight the yakuza!”

 

Kai mumbled, “Legosi’s great, he really is, but -”

 

Louis begged, “But we can do it together! We’re an army, too! We have weapons, we have training, we can -”

 

“Die!” Sheila cut in. “We can die! That’s all we can do!”

 

The drama club went silent.

 

All faces were a mix of grief, fear, anger.

 

Louis pleaded, “But … Legosi is one of us. He’s ours. He’s our friend. We have to do something! We couldn’t do anything to save Tem!! We can do something for Legosi!! ”

 

Sheila took a step back. She raised her palms up halfway in surrender, and said, “I’m sorry, Louis… This is out of our hands. If the Shishigumi have him … he’s probably already dead. I’m sorry.”

 

Ellen tacked on, “One wolf isn’t worth all the rest of us getting killed. There’s no point in trying.”

 

Haru was brimming with anger. “How dare you! How dare you, all of you! You cowards! Selfish assholes! Legosi has fought and suffered and done everything he can to help others, even when people treated him like shit! Even for you guys, for your club! How dare you !!”

 

Everyone was quiet then. No one wanted to look at anyone else, least of all the rabbit.

 

Juno was first to break the uncomfortable silence. She remembered it well, “I was being attacked by two of the bullies at Cherryton. Legosi is the one who showed up for me. Legosi is the one who fought for me. I don’t know how bad things could have gone for me if he wasn’t there.”

 

Louis insisted, “I’m only alive because he saved me! Him! He’s the one who did that! When the jaguar tried to kill me, Legosi’s the one who helped!”

 

Even Dom knew, “Legosi has always tried to help with everything, every last little thing, and he did it without complaining. He was always there when I needed a hand.”

 

Zoe mentioned reluctantly under his breath, “It was Legosi that helped when Louis’ leg got hurt…”

 

Kibi muttered, too, “I like Legosi. I really do … but I’m just a small anteater… I can’t do anything against lions…”

 

Some of the others were already walking away. They’d given up. They had to.

 

Kibi took a step back, and looked up at Tao, as if expecting him to follow.

 

Louis pleaded, “Tao. Aoba. Please. …He’s been teaching you things. You’re strong carnivores. You know how to fight.”

 

Aoba clenched his fists and looked aside in shame, weakness, the suicidal reality of their situation. “Not that strong…”

 

A few days of training did not a warrior make.

 

Still Haru demanded, “You have to help! You have to! You owe it to him! You might be the only ones who can help him now!”

 

Kibi tugged on Tao’s hand.

 

The panther’s sorrowful expression kept going back and forth between them, Kibi and Haru and Louis.

 

Bill stepped closer. “I’ll go.” 

 

That turned heads.

 

Dom stared blankly, “Wait, what?”

 

The tiger explained calmly, “Legosi is a good person who keeps getting dealt a shit hand in life, and he keeps fighting to do good anyway. He’s a better person than any of us. I don’t know if we can save him …  but I think it’s time for the drama club to make a difference.”

 

Aoba softly grumbled, “Great! Now I have to go. I can’t let Bill be the most righteous carnivore in the club. We’ll never live it down. We’ll be hearing tales of Bill the Hero forever!”

 

Bill complained, “Hey. I’m trying to be better.”

 

Tao groaned and covered his eyes, but didn’t leave. “We’re gonna die, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna die…”

 

Most people were still walking away. Some hesitated to leave, like Dom and Riz and Tao.

 

When the panther wouldn’t follow him, Kibi whispered insistently, “Tao??”

 

Els smacked the anteater on the shoulder, “Get in line, we’re saving carnivores now.”

 

Riz stayed still.

 

Haru went up to the big bear. “How about it, teddy? Feel like saving someone today?

 

Everyone was looking at Riz. 

…… 

Gouhin’s work phone started ringing. Few people actually had that number.

 

The panda had barely accepted the call before the incoming voice growled, “You owe me.”

 

Gouhin glared at his phone. “Not tonight I don’t. I have to patrol soon.”

 

The voice growled again, “Good. Get your crossbow out. We’re hunting cats.”

 

The panda rumbled back, barely curious, “What kind of cats?”

 

“The Shishigumi kind, most likely.”

 

Gouhin scoffed, “Fuck no. That’s kicking a hornet’s nest. I have more important things to do than fuck around with them.”

 

The caller demanded, “They took Legosi. You owe me your life twice-over; I need your crossbow tonight.”

 

The panda bear paused when he heard that name. “…Is this the part where you tell me the quiet wolf is yours?”

 

“Damn right, he is. So now, we’re hunting cats. And we’re not hunting alone.”

 

Gouhin disagreed, “I’m a doctor now! A psychiatrist! The only one in the back alley market! I’m not getting involved in gang wars!”

 

The voice insisted, “You can diagnose them after.”

 

Gouhin countered, “As psychotic, or dead on arrival?”

 

The voice gave a deeper snarl. “That depends on how we find Legosi.”

Chapter 31: Dead on arrival

Summary:

-Long chapter is long-

-Small disclaimer: the named 9 were not harmed in the making of this fic-

A whole mess of people keep crashing into each other on the way to Legosi.

A monster walks the market again.

The Shishigumi done fucked up.

Notes:

As always, comments are appreciated. :)

Also, we're nearing the end of "Season 1," so you guys get a double helping of fanart lol. Can I just say how incredibly flattering it is that people started drawing things? This fic started as a diversion while I was writing Civil Service, and it's exploded in popularity. That's so cool.

Love C's use of color and lines here. Really grasps Legosi's loss of sight and helplessness.

 

We also got this nifty thing from AnonimusTheIII! Don't worry, it doesn't happen in the fic, it's just a nifty take on something the irl Michelangelo did. That posing is so nice. :)

The 701 dogs caught up with the few others from Cherryton at the metro station. 

 

Bill remembered where the Shishigumi’s tower was. He recognized it from the description Sheila had given. 

 

He explained it on the metro ride to that part of the city: “I saw it back when Legosi had that panic attack, when we got lost and ended up at the market. We split up trying to find him. I saw it then.”

 

Jack asked anxiously, “What else do you remember? Anything useful, anything at all?”

 

The tiger grimaced, “I don’t remember much. I stayed away on purpose. They had these dead bodies dangling out front. I figured, even with a panic attack, there was no way Legosi would have gone towards that place.”

 

Kibi covered his eyes and groaned, “That’s gonna be us. That’s gonna be us, we’re gonna die.”

 

Haru grabbed him by the shirt, “Stop saying that! We have weapons of our own, and the element of surprise!”

 

Tao fussed, “How?! We’re going to be fighting on their territory!”

 

Haru insisted, “That’s exactly why it’s surprising! They’ll never expect us!”

 

Collot had Voss riding on his shoulder. The sheepdog grumbled, “That's not actually the best logic…”

 

Els stomped her foot, “Be brave! All of you, be brave! Legosi is counting on us! We can’t know if he’s dead yet, and I refuse to give up on him until we see him for ourselves!”

 

Durham made an aggressive show of cracking his knuckles, “Punch a few gangsters in the face? Sure, why not. Sounds like a party to me.”

 

Miguno shoved Durham on the arm, “Please, be serious about this!!”

 

Durham huffed, “I am seriously going to hurt people for taking Legosi; is that better?”

 

Voss smacked his tiny hand to his tiny face. He muttered, “Fuckers.”

 

The metro came to a stop, and Louis led a firm, purposeful march out into the night. 

 

Riz followed them all at the rear, a lumbering shadow behind them.

 

It looked like it would be raining soon. That might help dampen their scents on approach.

 

A huge black van suddenly pulled up in front of Louis, braking hard. 

 

A second black van stopped right behind the first.

 

Louis already had his good left hand on the gun in his pocket, and might have prepared to fire - if he didn’t recognize those particular vehicles.

 

Two teams of black-suited stags arrived, adult red deer, clearly wearing bulletproof jackets. A few even had assault rifles.

 

One approached with a spare bulletproof vest in hand, asking, “Master Louis, what’s the situation?”

 

The young red deer sterned his expression. “I’m not going back to my father, Gideon.”

 

The named stag moved closer, “We’re not here to take you back. Master Oguma said you needed assistance with a rescue mission. A wolf was kidnapped?”

 

Louis actually had to blink at that. Then he glared suspiciously, “I don’t have time to argue this. Someone’s life is on the line.”

 

Gideon nodded sharply and offered the kevlar again. “Understood. Put on the vest. Do you have a location on the victim?”

 

Bill stated, “Yes.”

 

Another nod by Gideon. “Good. Get in the vans. We’ll go together.”

 

Louis raised his gun pointedly at him. “If this is a trick to take us home, I promise, I will shoot you myself.”

 

Gideon didn’t waver. “Understood. You said the victim doesn’t have time.”

 

Dom asked, “Can we please let the nice men with guns lead? Maybe? Just asking? Thank you?”

 

Louis was clearly searching them for falsehood - but time was one thing they didn’t have. “Fine. Let’s go.”

……

The rain was definitely falling hard now.

 

The vans pulled up a short distance away from the Shishigumi’s tower, to make a stealthier approach. 

 

The security teams wanted the smaller animals to stay in the van.

 

Haru argued right away, “We didn’t come this far to stay in the car! You taught me to use a gun; I am prepared to use that gun.”

 

Els loudly declared, “Someone give me a gun, and I’ll shoot those lions myself!”

 

This plan was mad, these children insane, what properly clear-headed adult would trust any of these kids with a weapon?

 

One of the security team handed her a tiny pistol from his boot. “The safety’s here, keep your finger off the trigger unless you’re going to shoot, don’t point it at anything or anyone you aren’t ready to destroy.”

 

They were all crazy.

 

Half the security team stayed around and in front of the kids, a protective vanguard. 

 

The others started spreading out around the walls of the Shishigumi’s hideout, circling the perimeter.

 

They tried to take positions, get the lay of the land, because the moment guns started firing, this was going to escalate fast. 

 

A new figure suddenly ran to catch up with them - and it was only the fuzzy pink sweater and old man glasses that stopped the security team from drawing on the approaching reptile.

 

The old komodo hissed a whisper at the group of kids, particularly looking at the 701 dogs, “What the hell is this?! What are you all doing here?!”

 

Louis whispered back, “Staging a rescue! Shut up and get out of the way!”

 

Jack got in between them, defending the reptile, “Louis, wait! This is Gosha! He’s Legosi’s grandfather!”

 

The drama club all whispered, “Him?!” “Wait, how?” “ He trained Legosi?” “But he’s a komodo man??”

 

Gideon the stag appraised the old reptile again. “We can discuss all that later. Master Louis says time is of the essence. We are ready to begin firing.”

 

Gosha spoke faster to them all, “Update your team: I have a panda on approach as well - a sniper - and more komodo bringing bombs. I know these cats: if we go in with an army, everyone will fight to kill immediately. If three go in, we have a chance to negotiate. Which one of you has the best trigger discipline?”

 

Gideon stated frankly, honestly, “Me.”

 

Gosha seemed to be staring at the stag harder, trying to take in his bearing - and the way he was holding that assault rifle. 

 

A grizzled panda trudged up closer, crossbow in one hand and puffing a cigarette in the other. The rain kept threatening to kill the light. The bear just grumbled, “What a beautiful day for calamity…”

 

Then Gosha rattled off, “Let me go up first. You and Gouhin follow after a few seconds. His crossbow is quiet. Don’t shoot unless you have to; your gun will be overheard by the rest.”

 

Gideon nodded. “Understood. And you think that will work? You can negotiate with them?”

 

The venom was already pouring from the reptile’s fangs. 

 

Gosha’s eyes promised vengeance, “I will destroy all these cats myself if I have to, and if they’ve harmed my Legosi, I will see them die in agony for it. But if you give me a few minutes, maybe we can all get out of this without a massacre.”

 

The security team were all on guard, listening, waiting for orders. The Cherryton students were more scared to breathe than not, desperate for hope that this might somehow end without a hail of bullets - and with Legosi.

 

So many were looking to Louis. 

 

This was his mission. The heir to Horns, the star of the drama club, the Beastar candidate - they were all here because of him, because Louis called them all together. Even Haru was looking to him, to come up with some kind of plan, to get them all home safe.

 

Gideon stated, “It’s your call, Master Louis.”

 

Louis stared hard at the grandfather in a wet pink sweater and old man glasses - and how something ancient and violent was lurking just underneath that facade.

 

The monster that trained Legosi was clawing out of his cage, out from under the veneer of civilized life, brought to the surface by this one colossal threat to his grandson’s life.

 

Louis had to know, asked him honestly, “Can you do it?”

 

The old dragon removed his glasses slowly and snarled, “It’s not my first night making corpses of cats.”

……

Gosha strode forward silently in the pouring rain. He abandoned the pink sweater as he approached, but kept the white undershirt. Rain plastered it promptly to his powerful musculature. 

 

Covered in scars and scales, he walked like a monster of old, a living dinosaur ready to ravage all in his way. 

 

The rain slid down his chiseled frame, scales glinting like jewels in the weak light. 

 

His venom fell to the earth freely, empowered by rage, burning like acid on the ground, carving a path of destruction in his wake.

 

One of the lions stood out from underneath the building’s awning. Two more joined him, out in the pouring rain.

 

The lion in front laughed, “You got a death wish, scaley?”

 

A crossbow bolt silently dropped the lion standing farthest away. 

 

Komodo claws sliced through the closest lion’s neck - so fast, there was barely even a flash of blood.

 

Both bodies hit the ground at the same time, leaving the lion in the middle alone. 

 

The lion put his hands up, “ Whoa! Hold up hold up I’m unarmed!! ”

 

Gosha grabbed him by the shirt and lifted him clear off the ground, dripping maw ready to kill with a single venomous chomp. 

 

The cat’s legs kicked at the air beneath him, “ Don't bite me don't bite me don't bite me !”

 

Two more lions saw it happen from the windows, and suddenly ran out with guns.

 

Gosha kept the one cat up as a living tower shield. 

 

The poison-drenched komodo snarled out loud, a deadly challenge to them all, “You know, I’m supposed to be retired from this shit. I put it all behind me, the Dokugumi, the market, all the other gangs I wasted with Yafya - I even turned down being Beastars with him, the Venom of the Black Devil - for my family. All … for my family…”

 

There was a sickening irony playing out in fire behind Gosha’s eyes. It refused to be snuffed out by the rain, it wasn’t even dampened.

 

Gosha wrenched the lion’s shirt tighter, “I enjoyed being a nice, old grandpa, playing house. But you fucking kids took my only grandson !! So you’re going to take me to Legosi the gray wolf, and we’re going to talk , or before I die, I swear every last one of you fuckers is going to taste my venom, and I’ll drag you all down to hell with me !!”

 

The Shishigumi hesitated. 

 

The furthest lion jerked his gun up at the komodo. A crossbow bolt dug into the cat’s chest with barely a sound, piercing his heart with medical precision. One less lion. 

 

Weapons in hand, Gouhin and Gideon were moving in. 

 

Gosha threatened, “Did I also mention Dokugumi are coming to blow you all away? Now TAKE ME TO MY GRANDSON!!”

…… 

Muzzled, and bound.

 

Legosi was still muzzled and bound. 

 

Outside of Legosi, the only other person in the room was the old boss. Chief Lion of the Shishigumi was giving the naked wolf one final examination before the end.

 

Before the devouring.

 

And Legosi used the time for, of all things, to think of writing a letter in his smart phone.

 

*

 

To whom it may concern… 

 

Do I really need to put that? 

 

No one’s really concerned about me or my thoughts anyway.

 

You’re supposed to put it on letters like these.

 

But this isn’t a real letter, or even a will… I would have liked to leave something real for mom to read. She told me everything, put her hopes in me living, and I let her down. 

 

I failed, again. 

 

So I suppose … I’m reflecting on my experiences. 

 

My life is flashing before my eyes… 

 

I didn’t think that was real. 

 

But now it is, and now that I see it, I know …

 

… it was all … terrible.

 

*

 

The lion’s nose sniffed near his throat.

 

Sharp feline claws traced over the wounds on Legosi’s chest, before purposefully tearing through yesterday’s stitches. 

 

Legosi felt his own blood sliding down his stomach. 

 

*

 

Some of my earliest memories are of pain. From hurting. I suppose it’s only appropriate that my last memories will be in pain as well.

 

I can still smell the drool of the man who bit my throat out.

 

I can remember the feel of his teeth going through my neck.

 

I remember seeing my blood, flying through the air.

 

Yeah.

 

Pain.

 

I’m old friends with that.

 

And life has never been easy ever since.

 

Mom and grandpa suffered so much from it all. They tried to hide it, to put on a brave face, but in one moment, my life was ruined. And after that, it’s always been a fight.

 

A fight to learn sign language.

 

A fight since speech is everyone’s assumption.

 

A fight to interact with every stranger on a daily basis.

 

A fight to go into the city, a fight to buy food or clothes, to even attend class like a regular kid.

 

A fight to be strong, to be confident, ‘to be ready,’ and no amount of combat training with grandpa ever actually made me feel that way.

 

A fight with Bill, a fight with bullies, a fight with gangsters.

 

A fight to exist as a hybrid and a carnivore, when I’m already treated like shit, like an idiot, for not even having a voice.

 

Mom has suffered so much, and I couldn’t do anything about it back then.

 

Now I finally have the strength to change things, but I keep doing it all wrong.

 

My body is ready, but my head isn’t.

 

I’m just … broken.

 

I’ve only ever been able to fool myself otherwise.

 

My life has been one long string of ache and heartache, and fights I was always doomed to lose.

 

Dead on arrival.

 

I've always been … dead on arrival. 

 

Ending up as a lion’s dinner just makes sense. My throat has been waiting a long time for a big cat to finish what that tiger started.

 

I should have died back then.

 

It would have been easier.

 

It’s so hard, trying to fight all the time…

 

And for what?

 

What has it all been worth?

 

*

 

The lion’s maw went down to Legosi’s chest, and started licking at the blood escaping from the opened wounds. The lion made a sound of approval, murmured words too soft to focus on.

 

Legosi didn’t want to focus on it anyway.

 

*

 

I squeezed another decade out of my existence, kicking my own ass to get here, and here I am.

 

It’s laughable.

 

I wish I could laugh, like everyone else.

 

I wish I had someone else’s humor, and their voice.

 

I wish I could talk and groan and yell and whisper and all the things that everyone else can, but I’m still me, I’m still this broken wreck, I will always be a broken wreck, and it’s good that it will all be over.

 

I want it to be over.

 

I want to stop fighting, I want to be done.

 

I want this ache to leave.

 

This is it… 

 

This is how I go.

 

*

 

The lion licked again at the blood from the wounds on Legosi’s chest. 

 

*

 

Just kill me already. I want to go.

 

*

 

Louis’ voice screamed in the back of his head, “Damn it, Legosi, I don’t want you to go!!”

 

Legosi stopped.

 

For the tiniest moment, his brain just stopped.

 

That’s what Louis said, back in the drama club locker room - the same night he crushed Bill in a sword fight. 

 

…What does it matter if I go? So there’s one less dumb wolf in the world… I’ve never mattered, and I don’t matter, not like that… 

 

Haru had yelled at him in the hospital, “Yes, you do matter! You don’t get to say that ever again! You’re a good person, and a special person, and both of us know that! Louis and I! You matter, and if you got hurt, it’d hurt us, too!”

 

Legosi wanted to groan. 

 

I can’t stop it. Even if I was special, I’m not that special, I’m not that strong. I should never have tried to get close to you, I’m only going to hurt you, one way or another.

 

In his mind’s eye, from his memories, Louis returned - side by side with the rabbit, and so did others. 

 

The red deer had insisted, “I’m a selfish, self-centered bisexual disaster. I’m trying to fix the self-centered part, but I’d really like to be selfish about one more thing in my life. Just one more thing. …I just really want to be with the both of you.”

 

What’s the point? What’s the point when everything in my life has always gone bad? It started with that day in the city, and then -

 

Jack told him on their walk in town, “You’re wrong about it all having to go bad. We had a good day, and we tried to help. That was a good thing.”

 

Haru added in, “The jaguar was trying to kill Louis - actually, actively, kill. Louis is alive because you knew how to fight for him. I’m probably alive because of you. Because we worked on playing Tag, and running, and even keeping some pepper spray handy… so when the lights cut out, I was ready. I did like you taught me.”

 

It was a chorus of people, of friends, of family, of voices, of bright days demanding they be remembered over all of the dark.

 

But I’ve hurt so many people…

 

Louis’ voice sounded stronger, “You've helped good people and fought bad people. You shouldn’t feel bad about that. I don’t want you to feel bad about that. You’re a good person. You’d be a great Beastar - probably better than me.”

 

A Beastar … that’s such a joke… Like I could ever -

 

Els refused to let him finish. “You’re going to do great, Legosi. I know you will. You just wait. Someday, I’m sure everyone will appreciate you.”

 

The freckly wolf agreed, “It’s never been this great at Cherryton! And it’s all thanks to you! Things are so much better now!”

 

Legosi vaguely remembered something else. It was a distinct struggle to recall it, but he wanted to. 

 

He wanted to remember, he needed to remember, he had to remember.

 

Principal Gon… he mentioned a lot of people liked me… 

 

“For better or worse, for truth or fiction, you have attracted the eye of the student body. They’re saying the Wolf Demon is the Guardian Demon of Cherryton. …a sizable group of the students are calling for you to be nominated as a Beastar. Legosi, as of this moment, the student body imagines you a hero…”

 

…What was it the wolf-bear said?

 

“It’s cause you showed them what a carnivore can do. After saving Louis the red deer, you’ve even got a fan club!”

 

And … and the black wolf with the glasses?

 

“The herbivores here are seeing us in a new light! Herbivores liking large-breed carnivores?? Liking us?? And we’re not even dogs! Just, wow!”

 

The panda in the market came unbidden to Legosi’s memory. “You should think about the good things life still has to offer you. Think about the people who matter to you, and how you matter to them. Think about where you want to go, what you like, what you want to do. Today you got lost, and wound up in the worst place our society has to offer. But, there are a lot of great places in it, too.”

 

…Where do I want to go? 

 

What do I want to do? 

 

…I still don’t have answers for that. 

 

But the people who matter to me …how I matter to them?

 

Haru… Louis… 

 

Haru said I mattered. They’ve all been saying I matter. So did mom.

 

Legosi’s mother appeared in his thoughts, in all her radiant glory.

 

“You were my light, growing up. I promise you, you can be a light for others just as you are, even if nothing about you is normal at all. A light in the darkness will always stand out. You share my blood, and your grandfather’s blood … so I know you can be stronger and sweeter than any pure-blooded wolf ever could. Your life will be filled with a potential that only you can fulfill.”

 

My blood…

 

My life… 

 

…What do I want to do with it? With this blood of mine?

 

I want… 

 

His therapist signed, [What you want most in your life, you will not suddenly wake up and have as if by magic. But if you can look at your future, and you can imagine yourself happy - going to classes with Louis, gardening with Haru - then that’s the future you need to work towards.]

 

I want that future.

 

I do. 

 

I want them both, but…

 

In his mind’s eye, the memory of Haru swelled up, strong and tall and powerful.

 

“We both like you. We both want you. And we think you’re worth trying for… So, it’s … really up to you now, if you think we’re worth trying for, too.”

 

Legosi tugged once at the ropes that had his hands bound behind his back. The cuts on his chest ached.

 

I want to try.

 

I want to try so hard.

 

But trying hurts.

 

I want… 

 

Legosi saw himself, remembered himself -

 

Gray, weary, exhausted and overcome, laying dead tired on the floor of the panda’s office. 

 

{It’d be easier, if I wasn’t alive. But I don’t want to die.}

 

It was so simple, Legosi’s body almost shook with a laugh.

 

I just want to live.

 

Legosi’s heart beat faster.

 

“Live more, Legosi.”

 

I want to.

 

Legosi’s fists clenched tight.

 

“Live more.”

 

I want - to live!!

 

Then Legosi’s body really did shake, twitching, breathy pulses of air the closest he could come to really laughing, and he let that one single thought fill him up, let it stretch his muscles, stretch his legs, pour fire and strength back into himself, renew his body, renew his everything - until that one old lion thought he was looking at impossible strangeness, illness, sickness. His meal was corrupt. He couldn’t eat that.

 

Chief Lion asked darkly, “What’s wrong with you?” 

 

Vision returned as Chief Lion pulled off the wolf’s blindfold. A mistake.

 

The old beast growled out, “What are you going on about?”

 

Legosi smashed his head forward, instantly shattering Chief Lion’s nose.

 

* Don’t hold back. *

 

The lion fell backwards clumsily, unable to grab his cane in time.

 

He barely hit the ground before Legosi was standing over him, kicking straight down at him, again and again - heel smashing down into his face, his throat, again and again, stomping, crushing the lion’s skull under foot until the chief was not breathing and definitely not getting up. Legosi trampled on the nightmare that wanted to claim him.

 

* Use anything. *

 

There was a knock at the door. “Hey, boss? You okay? That sounded messy. …Do you want us to wait on the mop?”

 

The blood burned in Legosi’s ears.

 

Against the wall, a pair of katana rested on antlers.

 

In the home of yakuza, Legosi banked on the hope they were more than decoration.

 

“Boss?” A louder knock.

 

Arms tied behind his back, Legosi awkwardly pulled one sword out, and quickly sawed through the rope, freeing his arms right as the doors carefully opened to two more lions.

 

* Deny them their strength. *

 

One of the lions swore at the scene, started reaching for a gun in his jacket.

 

Legosi chucked the sword as hard as he could, a flying blade of death that buried itself right through the lion’s chest. Another lion fell dead.

 

The other lion ran at Legosi, claws bared and roaring vengeance.

 

* Deny them everything! *

 

Legosi took out the second sword at the last second.

 

A single cleave left the lion clutching at his open, red waterfall of a throat.

 

Legosi stared at him. The lion seemed frozen in time. Only the blood moved.

 

* The ground is … death? *

 

No. Fuck that. I refuse to die. 

 

Legosi kicked the lion backwards, onto the dead chief, and the lion didn’t try getting up.

 

Legosi fought the muzzle off his jaws, and dropped it on top of the old man’s crushed face.

 

More footsteps were rapidly approaching after hearing the lion’s roar. 

 

Legosi reached down to grab the other lion’s gun.

 

And then … he walked forward to meet them.

 

I’m going to live.

Chapter 32: The only deal

Summary:

“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

Notes:

Important info for the anime-only readers out there: when concerned for his family, Gosha’s venom has canonically burned straight through stone and metal in an instant. So like... it's a thing.

Gosha could hear the echo of gunfire elsewhere in the tower.

 

He ordered their guide to hurry. Smart cat, he had the sense to obey. 

 

Gouhin and Gideon stayed close, weapons angled down but trigger fingers ready. 

 

They got lucky with this lion: though he looked to be in his mid-twenties, he must have had some sway in the Shishigumi. They kept running into other lions, who were confused about whatever was going on above. Gunfire wasn’t an alien sound in the Shishigumi’s tower - they were a rowdy, violent bunch - but someone was certainly putting a lot of bullets into the air.

 

Their guide told people to back off and stand down, and the other lions listened. “Guns down! Put your guns down, they just want the kid!”

 

And here Gosha just spared him cause he looked young.

 

The four of them were practically racing up the stairs, around halls, around corners. 

 

The architecture of this building was atrocious. It had to have been falling apart for years now.

 

Four armed lions were flanking an opened door: one bore an X-shaped scar across his face, one had glasses, the third wore shades so tiny as to be pointless, and another covered the bottom half of his face with a bandanna, like a mask. 

 

The one with a scarred-up face saw them first, “Dope, what the hell is this?? You brought in strangers now?!”

 

Dope had his hands up, tried to warn the others, “Guns down! Guns down now! Dokugumi want the kid back! They’re just here for him!”

 

The one with tiny shades turned his gun on Gosha, “Sure, after we’re done killing him!!”

 

Dope cried, “SONY, DON’T!” 

 

Sony’s gun went off. Sony started screaming simultaneously.

 

The bullet grazed Gosha’s shoulder, not that the reptile even cared. 

 

The komodo’s maw was overflowing with venom still, and he kept covering his fingers with it. 

 

His claws were dripping with that venom. It sizzled on the floor, burning the carpet.

 

One flick. That’s all it really took. 

 

One lightning quick movement of Gosha’s fingers, as fast as a trigger pull - faster cause it was Gosha - and way worse than a bullet.

 

Speed was a battle that Gosha would win.

 

Everyone was aiming weapons at everyone else - and only then did two of the lions notice the barrel of their guns melting in their hands. 

 

Dripping claws held up towards them, Gosha snarled, “Drop. Your. Guns. You had your warning!!”

 

Dope swore under his breath, “Dammit, Sony! I said not to try it!!”

 

The newly blind lion was trying in vain to paw away the corrosive venom now searing its way through his skull.

 

The one in glasses fumbled his decaying gun onto the floor, “Alright! Easy!! Easy! Everybody cool it!” 

 

Several drips of venom were burning on that lion’s sleeve, and he hurried to cast aside the smoking jacket before the corrosive chemical got on his own flesh.

 

The blinded lion was staggering into the wall, groaning as loud as could be, unable to withstand caustic torture.  He was promising vile vengeance with a slew of obscenities.

 

The X-scarred lion barked an order, “Dope, get Sony out of here!”

 

Dope ducked down over to the lion that was cursing in agony. He helped Sony stand, but Dope spoke rapidly to the others, “Listen to the dragon! Right now! This is fucking serious! It’s him, the Venom - the Venom of the Black Devil! Just - parley with him for five minutes!”

 

There was the slightest recognition on the cats’ faces. Dope did not get concerned for just anyone. 

 

Dope rushed away with the swearing, fumbling Sony. Dope complained under his breath at what Sony just brought on himself. 

 

The lion with a masked face snarled, “We aren't in the habit of giving back anything, much less to Dokugumi.”

 

Gosha promised them violently, “You will tonight, one way or another.”

 

The lion with glasses clarified, “I don’t know why you want him that bad, but good luck. He’s crazy. We can’t even get in the room. He isn’t responding to negotiation or threats, he shoots the moment we get near the door, and he’s killed everyone else in his way to get here.”

 

Gosha’s lips turned up in dark pride. “He’s not responding to you cause he can’t talk .” The old komodo said louder, “Legosi!! It’s me! Are you wounded?!”

 

Two confused stomps - their family’s ‘yes.’

 

Gosha repressed the urge to incinerate their eyes. 

 

Gosha asked, “Anyone else alive in there?”

 

Two firm stomps - yes.

 

The old komodo was taking in the shape of these three lions - age and dress could imply their seniority in the gang. 

 

Gosha growled out, “We’ve all taken injuries today, Shishigumi. So how about my family and yours work out something right now, before this turns into an even bigger clusterfuck - and Dokugumi turn this building into a bomb crater.”

 

The X-scarred lion rumbled, “How, pray tell, do you intend to do that?”

 

Gosha hissed, “By making you very rich instead of very dead. You want to know how to deal with the Black Devil, don’t you?”

 

The three lions paused to glance at each other. 

 

Feline claws were sheathed. 

 

The lion in glasses stated, “You have our attention.”

……

The lions made off with two wounded, one now missing an arm entirely. 

 

Legosi, bloodied and naked, had a still-dripping sword in one hand and a smoking gun in the other. He kept the gun trained on the lions leaving.

 

The white wolf wasn’t expecting to see Gosha, much less Gouhin or whoever the stag was. He looked like a red deer, like Louis, but that’s as far as the resemblance went.

 

Legosi had fought his way down part of the tower, leaving a trail of bodies in his wake, before ducking into this room to avoid gunfire. 

 

Gosha scanned his grandson quickly for injuries - the bleeding claw wounds on his chest joined by the grazing of a bullet on his left side. That sword was covered in blood, too, but none of it Legosi’s.

 

The old komodo immediately gave more orders, “Legosi, stay ready to shoot them if they try something - especially that guy in the mask. Gouhin, check his injuries. Gideon, tell your men they don’t need to start shooting up the place just yet. Five minutes. We’re having negotiations now. Dokugumi can stay ready with the explosives. And Shishigumi? Get my grandson some damn clothes, or this whole thing ends in bombfire anyway.”

 

The wolf still had a haunted look about his ghostly white face - but a strange smile was growing on it as Gosha took charge.

 

Satisfaction.

 

Legosi nodded to his grandfather and kept the gun half aimed toward the three lions.

 

Gouhin tore off part of a jacket from one of the dead lions. He used it to fashion a bandage for the more bloody part of Legosi’s wounds. Legosi would need proper medical attention later, but right now, he was standing. That was enough.

 

The big cats were waiting for an explanation, but they clearly had little patience. 

 

A darker furred lion arrived with clean clothes for the wolf, before his superiors told the cat to get scarce. 

 

Gosha made a point of recoating his hands with venom as it continued to flow freely from his violent maw. The floor was still sizzling with each droplet that fell. 

 

Gosha seemed to have no end to his venom tonight. 

 

Gosha asked them frankly, “What are your names?”

 

The masked lion grunted dismissively.

 

The other lion adjusted his glasses. “Why do you want to know?”

 

Gosha said outright, “Because it’ll slow down my rage and keep me from killing you people long enough for us to actually have this conversation. You want to be rich, don’t you? I’m asking for your names, not your manes. Give me a fucking alias for all I care.”

 

The masked lion growled deep down in his throat.

 

The lion in glasses said, “Ibuki, the Maasai lion.”

 

The X-scarred lion just said, “Dolph.”

 

The masked lion still looked like he wanted to shoot someone, but he saw what happened to Sony. He’d wait for the right moment. “Sabu.” 

 

The komodo nodded. “The dragon, Gosha. I’d ask which one of you is the boss, but none of you are acting like it. Where is he?”

 

Ibuki answered, “The chief is nowhere right now. His body is upstairs. Your grandson killed him.”

 

Gosha grunted once. That complicated things. “Then I’ll talk with you lot. Let’s start with the obvious, Shishigumi: you kidnapped my grandson. You tried to kill him. And apparently, naked and outnumbered, he wrecked your boss and a ton of your men anyway. I know how you gangsters think. I grew up as one, and I have the scars and experience to prove it. You’ve been punched in the balls, and you need to protect your rep before the news gets out…” 

 

“…I get that. You got your boss killed. Big mistake. And even if you try to bury this, the news is going to get out. It always does. So you’re going to come after my family again for the sake of your honor, and I can’t allow that. So we either figure something out right now, or my teams outside start firing and bombing, and a whole lot more people end up dead. And it’s not just Dokugumi out there, I can promise you that. We have friends - friends with a whole lot of guns.” 

 

Sabu’s voice rasped angrily, “Get to the part about the Black Devil. That’s the only reason we haven’t shot you already.”

 

Gosha started lazily, “Oh, I can tell you an awful lot about Yafya. But you keep this in mind, because this is the basis for everything: if one of you fuckers even sneezes at my family the wrong way again, you will all find out exactly why I was the Black Devil’s one and only partner.”

 

Dolph stated flatly, “The Black Devil doesn’t work with a partner. He uses spies - rats and cops - but he fights on his own.”

 

Gosha grinned, and held up a poison-dripping claw. “I did say his only partner.”

 

Ibuki remembered, “The Venom of the Black Devil. You’re him. I thought that was just a rumor, like everything else surrounding the Sublime Beastar.”

 

Sabu was older. He complained, “He’s real, but he’s been out of the business for decades. Most people thought he was dead.”

 

Gosha walked like he owned the place. He dragged two fingers along the wall, and his venom left behind an acidic streak. “Yafya and I go way back, all the way to when he was just a pretty boy on a motorcycle. I buried a whole lot of market trash with him back in the day. Same with the Dokugumi; I’m a legend to them. I barely even had to mention my name, and those kids were just about begging to help me blow this place up.”

 

Sabu’s fingers curled and flexed, like he was getting ready to strike. “Your grandson killed our boss. You expect us to let him walk?”

 

Gosha said curtly, “Damn right I do. I can smell him on Legosi. Your boss what, tried to eat him? That was his own fuck-up, or one of yours for even daring to take my grandson. Doesn’t even matter. There’s a vacancy in your organization. You’re gonna let it go, because as of this moment, I’m your boss.”

 

Sabu snarled loudly, immediately. Claws stretched out, he started to step forward.

 

Dolph put a hand across Sabu’s chest, “Wait.”

 

Sharp-eyed, suspicious, Ibuki stated, “We’re listening.”

 

Gosha explained dryly, “This is the deal: you work for me now, I bring the Dokugumi into the fold, and here you all stand, with the guidance of the one man in this messed up market who still knows what Yafya is like - as a man, not a horror story. I still send him Rexmas cards. I lived comfortably in his one blindspot for years, and I only left it for my family - and that is knowledge you want on your side, not against your side.” 

 

Dolph said frankly, “We have our own plans to deal with the Black Devil.”

 

Gosha laughed, “I’m sure you do! But they haven’t worked yet, and he’s still kicking asses all over the market and the city, isn’t he? Your numbers don’t mean shit to Yafya. He hasn’t stopped the four major gumis yet because he doesn’t want to .”

 

Ibuki asked rhetorically, “He really does want us fighting each other?”

 

Gosha nodded, “Of course he does. You lot are doing a damn fine job of culling your own numbers, especially with shit like tonight - dragging an old monster like me out of retirement for my grandson’s sake. I heard you were what, 35 strong? After the last 24 hours, considering that shit in the park, I’m guessing you’re down in the twenties now. And we can keep fighting, and you can keep bleeding men, cause we are damn well not going to make it easy for you…”

 

“…but even on the chance some of you survive the night, the other gumis will pounce. They hate you lot. You’re arrogant. They’ll see you’re weakened, injured, and they’ll come for the slaughter. In the market, everyone is prey. But if you fall in line, if you accept me as your new boss, I bolster your forces with the Dokugumi … and I forge your organization from high school scare tactics into something appreciable - something profitable .”

 

Sabu pointed a claw at him, “The Shishigumi doesn’t need your help. Yafya is too scared to fight us himself, and so are the cops. The Shishigumi has more money than we can spend!”

 

Gosha hissed, “Bullshit. We’re going to be here all night if you kids don’t stop posturing. I don’t know what kind of testosterone fest your old boss was, but there’s a lot of shit more important than your conventions of masculinity. Like your survival. And your pocketbook. Every year, more and more carnivores are trying to go without meat, without using the market…”

 

“…I didn’t have a reason to care about that before, but you do. The back alley market is hemorrhaging customers, and you’re losing money because of it. Your hideout is in shambles, and your old boss had you waste money and manpower on - what, kidnapping hybrid kids for his ‘distinguished palate’?”

 

Sabu growled again at the disrespect.

 

Ibuki clarified awkwardly, “Animals without pigment. He demanded the meat of fresh animals without pigment. …He said their meat tastes the best.”

 

Gosha just stared. “…Putting aside the willful idiocy of that entire premise, you realize that’s just Legosi’s undercoat? He’s not even albino. He just had a fur cut last night. His full coat is gray.”

 

Gouhin the doctor sarcastically added, “I can feel my medical degree self-immolating for even having listened to that.”

 

Dolph stated frankly, “The will of the boss is absolute.”

 

Ibuki cleared his throat. “Errors were made.”

 

Gosha replied coolly, “More than one. But you all have that rare opportunity to have screwed up and still come out of this ahead. Think about it. Use your heads: the Shishigumi and Dokugumi allying together? The Madaragumi will shit themselves at the news. The Inarigumi are proud but smart, they’ll stop butting heads, and then that turf war shit becomes old news. But that only happens if you accept me as your new boss, and you get every last one of your men to drop this feud against my grandson here and now. Or we go back to where we were a few minutes ago, with my friends and I killing off all you sad fucks in one night.”

 

Dolph was running the arguments in his head. Sabu glanced at the other two, as if trying to read their minds - wondering when he’d be allowed to kill someone.

 

Ibuki asked casually, “Not much for ‘live and let live,’ are you?”

 

Gosha stated, “I’m not stupid and you aren’t either. You’ve been embarrassed. I didn’t have to talk to you. I aimed for your guns, not your eyes, on purpose. I didn’t have to do that either. I could have come in killing every last one of you and I’d sleep just fine. This, right now? Talking to you? This is me being merciful …” 

 

“…The Shishigumi can die trying to save face, after they got their asses kicked by a naked teenager and his grandpa, or you can turn this night into something people will respect and fear: how the Black Devil’s one and only rival united the Shishigumi and Dokugumi in a single night of violence, and now? Now your image is even stronger.” 

 

Sabu threatened, “ Or we kill the four of you, and this whole fiasco ends here.”

 

Gosha threatened back, “But it won’t end here, and we all know it. People already know you’re vulnerable, I already have the Dokugumi at your door, and Legosi’s allies came with trained professionals of their own, bearing assault rifles. It’s an army out there. The Dokugumi jumped at the chance to hurt you even when it was just me. Hell, the other gumis hate you all so much, I wouldn’t put it past them to broker their own alliance for a day…”

 

“…They all want you dead. And right outside your gates, at this very moment, the Dokugumi are preparing to turn this place into rubble. And if I die in the process of putting you all down? Well, I don’t mind that. You hurt my grandson. That has consequences . Sure, I’d like to go home and wash my hands of you all, play the nice old grandpa, the pacifist…”

 

The old komodo’s expression hardened into the monster again. “…but pacifism only has meaning when the strong uphold it, and believe me, Shishigumi: I’m strong enough. And I can make you strong like you wouldn’t believe. Just look at what my grandson did - pants down, not even full grown. You couldn’t kill him, and that was when he was alone. And if you join me, you get the Dokugumi…”

 

“…Those bombs downstairs defuse, the dragons come to work with you instead of against you - to say nothing of their venom. You’d be amazed at what just a little venom can get done for you, and my venom is the strongest - even stronger when you endanger my family. It’s why we’re talking, and even if you all draw another gun, you can’t shoot me enough times before I flick just a little poison in your eyes - and trust me, that’s all it will take to end you tonight.”

 

Ibuki took a calming breath through his nose. “You’re asking us to take a lot on faith here.”

 

Gosha slowly pointed at the wall he had touched earlier, right as it suddenly collapsed in on itself - a mass of disintegrating debris, still being consumed by a grandfather’s rage. The expanding hole opened to the outside world, where rain was pouring and a market was waiting.

 

An escape route, if Legosi needed to get outside fast.

 

Gosha snarled, “I’m asking you to be smart. I’m asking you to choose your own self-interest over outdated notions of honor killings. You want another demonstration? Pick an eyeball, draw your gun, I’ll rot it out of your skull before you can pull the trigger. But I doubt you’d even live long enough to get to a hospital. Your man who tried earlier is probably dead already. Hell, if you want, I’ll even call Yafya myself. He never picks up anymore. He’s too proud. I’d love to see his face though. The moment he hears that message, he’ll blow a gasket, but me? I’m showing restraint here.”

 

Sabu started to protest. 

 

Gosha cut him off with a flick of poison past his face, like a bullet hole into the wall, “You hurt my family !! And you were too arrogant to realize you could suffer for it!! You’ve now learned otherwise, but I’m still so angry right now, if I die here, my venom will burn straight to the bottom of this fucking tower and bring it all down before the hour is out. Look down: my venom will have burned through three floors already. So now, it’s up to you. This is the deal, and the only deal, and we’re all smart enough here to know it…”

 

“…Choose to be strong , Shishigumi. Choose to be strong, and smart, and I’ll make you rich. Act in your own self-interest. Take advantage of this one opportunity to get me on your side and I’ll help you rewire this whole forsaken market into your treasure trove. Or don’t, and those bombs go off. I don’t want to kill you all but I fucking promise, for my grandson, I will see you all dead tonight. I’m ready to die for my family, Shishigumi. Do you really want to die for your chief, the child-eater?”

 

The three lions turned their eyes to each other, tense and questioning.

 

Sabu, angry.

 

Ibuki, unnerved.

 

Dolph, severe.

 

The crash of rain felt like it was growing louder and louder.

 

And then … 

 

Ibuki said it.

 

“He’s right.”

 

Sabu soured immediately, grabbed Ibuki by the shirt, “Traitor!!”

 

Ibuki shoved him back hard, “I'm a survivor , and you are, too!! The dragon is right, and you know it! You both know it! The chief is dead, and I for one am glad for it! It’s that psychotic tyrant that put us here, who cut us off from the rest of the underworld, who made us enemies of everything and everyone!! We have no allies! All of society hates us!! And they will come for the kill!” 

 

Sabu snarled, “Then we kill them right back!”

 

Ibuki sneered, “Because that’s worked so well for us in the past?? This night has been a long time coming, and if it wasn’t this wolf, it would have been someone else! We are being offered our only chance to actually survive this disaster, before we lose even more men! And we will ! If it’s not the dragon who kills them, it’ll be the Madaragumi, the Inarigumi, the wolves or the bears, someone! Even if we survive this night, we won’t survive tomorrow!”

 

Sabu was burning inside. His hands were shaking with intensity, with claws bared, held up and eager to show Ibuki what he thought of all that in bloody fury. “Do you really have so little pride in the Shishigumi? We’re the kings of all beasts here! Did you suddenly forget how to act like one??”

 

Ibuki roared, “Your pride is going to get us all killed! I like living! And I’m tired of having to live it in hell! I have had to fight everyone to stay alive this long, and I’ll fight you for it, too, Sabu! I like having food, and home, and comrades, and not having to worry where the next assassin will strike us from when we so much as walk the streets - because that’s where the old chief took us all!! That fucking chief brought us here, to this moment, with an army at our door and ready to shoot every last soul in the walls! The chief drove us into this war, and finally, his war caught up to him! He’s his own casualty! Good riddance!”

 

Dolph spoke sharply, “Both of you, knock it off.”

 

Sabu was about to attack, but Ibuki grabbed him by the jacket and slammed him into the wall. 

 

Ibuki was yelling in Sabu’s face, “We are responsible for our people, our family, for everyone still alive after tonight! Maybe you don’t care who lives and who dies, but I do! I want to keep them alive! How many will you sacrifice for pride , Sabu?? Our comrades are our pride! Are you two ready to see Agata die, or Dope, or Hino? Miguel? Jinma? Wallace, Terrence, Ryan! Cyrus, Percy, Eckhardt! All of them, dead by tomorrow! Because that’s what is about to happen!! You both know it! Get your head out of your ass!!” 

 

Neither cat responded. Sabu still had murder in his eyes. 

 

Ibuki’s voice dropped the slightest bit softer, the slightest bit less angry. He growled, “They put their trust in the Shishigumi, and the chief has done nothing but betray them all for his asinine proclivities! Fuck your pride, Sabu! The dragon is offering us all our lives and the city on a platter, and all we have to do is say ‘Yes’!! I say, ‘ Yes!’ I say, ‘ Fuck yes , let’s actually make something of ourselves’!! Let’s be kings and not just beasts! Dolph, say something!”

 

Ibuki pushed off Sabu and started pacing like a caged animal. Ibuki was eager to do something else even as he waited for the coldest lion to comment on the disaster playing out before them.

 

Dolph stood there, hands at his sides, eyes tense as he took in the shape of the four strangers in the room. 

 

The ice carried in every inch of Dolph’s body. He posed one question to the strangers: “Will you take care of our men as much as you do your grandson?”

 

The old monster demanded first, “Is my family protected ?”

 

Dolph stared instead at Sabu. “Say it.”

 

The growling, grumbling masked lion shoved his hands in his pockets. He sounded sarcastic, “They are protected .”

 

Gosha made a show of slicking his claws with fresh venom. “Say it like you mean it.”

 

Dolph drew a fresh gun on the cat, “Sabu, I will shoot you right now!”

 

Sabu tensed further, hackles rising, staring down the dragon before finally repeating the words. “They. Are. Protected.”

 

The old komodo gave a curt nod. He spoke to Dolph, “Then from this moment on, your family is my family. Gather the rest of our men, everyone not on their way to a hospital. Let in the Dokugumi. We’re establishing the new world order tonight.”

…… 

The doors of the lion’s broken tower opened. 

 

Louis and company didn’t recognize the shape at first: not the fine black suit, the red shirt, or the sheathed sword he was carrying. 

 

But they knew those lupine features, even white. 

 

Louis and Haru practically shouted at the same time, “Legosi!!”

 

The pair ran forward despite the security team’s protests. The team rushed after them, they had to protect Louis.

 

Gideon was there behind Legosi, to escort the wolf out - still keeping a wary eye on the lions that saw them away.

 

Haru was already jumping up into Legosi’s arms, trying to hug him around the neck. The wolf winced in pain when she hit his chest, but he held her tight. 

 

Louis was right behind her, hugging them both, and suddenly the rest of the Cherryton folk were running out of hiding to get close - despite the rain and the danger and still being quite literally on the Shishigumi’s front lawn. 

 

Disbelief and relief were on all of their faces - even Legosi’s. Legosi wouldn’t have believed it if he wasn’t seeing it, could never have possibly hoped that even a few of them would have come so far. 

 

How could he think he was worth this much?

 

They were here - a third of the club, the 701 dogs, a troop of antlered professionals - and with so many people wanting to hug him and cheer him, Legosi couldn’t even use his hands. 

 

It was a different form of ‘speechless,’ but if he even had a voice, he doubted he’d know what to say.

 

Wonder worked its way across Legosi’s exhausted face.

 

Gideon the red deer cleared his throat, “Master Louis. Mission accomplished? We should depart.”

 

An overjoyed Louis agreed, “Right. Let’s get out of here.”

 

Jack got closer, “Legosi, are you okay?? I can smell your blood. How bad is it??”

 

Legosi had to set Haru down. Then he pointed at the part of his shirt that wasn’t just red, but also red and wet. He signed mostly with one hand, refusing to let go of the sheathed sword. [Hospital might be good. The chief cut my stitches. But … what are you all even doing here?]

 

Louis had the silliest, most ecstatic, relieved grin on his face. “We figured you were in trouble … so I got the whole gang together. I called my dad, the club, I called Jack, who called Gosha. …We’re all here for you.”

 

That last sentence was music. Legosi’s ear flicked. His tail dared to wag.

 

The ghostlike wolf looked just a little less dead.

 

Haru asked insistently, “Legosi, what happened inside? Where’s your grandpa??”

 

Legosi swallowed. […I think my grandfather just became a godfather…]

……

The peafowl at the hospital gave a breathy sigh, “It is just not your month, is it?”

 

On the hospital bed, with stitches once more secure across his chest - and some new ones on his side - Legosi had an almost amused smile. 

 

[Could be worse,] he acknowledged. [Could be lion food.]

 

Louis translated that (uncomfortably), but that didn’t seem to do anyone any favors. 

 

The peafowl awkwardly tried to make a joke, “You know we don’t have a ‘frequent patient’ card, right? It’s not like you get free coffee every five visits.”

 

Legosi wondered about that. [I haven’t had coffee before. I should try that tomorrow.]

 

Leano cleared her throat, “Legosi, I want to talk with the doctors about some things. Will you be fine with your friends?”

 

Legosi glanced at Haru and Louis, so close and attentive. He signed, [Yes. We’ll be fine.]

 

Leano left the hospital room with the peafowl. 

 

Legosi turned to Louis, [Thanks for having her picked up. Grandpa is normally the one who does all the driving. His car is probably in the back alley somewhere.]

 

Louis looked conflicted. He tried to be reassuring, “It’s fine. Having Gideon’s men pick her up is much easier than storming a yakuza compound, and they were already willing to do that.”

 

Legosi wanted to laugh, [Good men!]

 

Haru was more unsettled now that they had room to breathe, now that they were on the other side of disaster. She asked hesitantly, “Legosi … are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Legosi thought about that. That he could think about it at all was telling. He admitted outright, [I’m sure I’m experiencing some kind of trauma response right now, but I don’t know what the language for it would be. I feel weird. I’m not dissociating, but I don’t quite feel all connected inside either.]

 

Haru definitely needed Louis to interpret that, and (a rarity) Louis didn’t know the sign for ‘dissociating.’ He needed to ask Legosi to finger spell what that word was. 

 

Legosi continued signing to her and Louis kept translating, [I’m sure this will all catch up to me soon and I’ll probably cry a lot tonight and tomorrow. But at least for now … can we cuddle? I’d really like that.]

 

Louis nervously asked to clarify, “Just with Haru … or both of us?”

 

Legosi smiled and scooted a bit more to the right side of the big bed. [Both of you. I want both of you.]

 

A hopeful smile split across Louis’ face again. 

 

Haru clambered up onto the bed on the right side, and murmured, “Well, you don’t have to ask me twice.” 

 

She leaned against Legosi’s uninjured right side, hugging his torso. 

 

Louis very carefully took the offered space on the left, and hugged Legosi’s arm in the process, mindful of the wolf’s wounded left stomach and his own rack of antlers. 

 

Haru did wonder though, “Should we be worried about your mom? Is she going to be okay with this?”

 

Legosi let his eyes close sleepily, body finally succumbing to how tired he really was. [Actually … I told her about us last night. I was really upset after the first attack. I got really emotional then. She was trying to help me feel better, and she said … she said, I deserve to be happy…]

 

Legosi smiled more. He yawned once, and his eyes stayed shut. He signed slower, [She said she wants me to feel loved … so I think … I think it’ll be okay. I think … we’re all going to be okay…]

Notes:

Okay everybody, you can breathe now. Exhale. XD

And now that we are through all that craziness, I can say that A: we will have SSG fun times next "season," as I promised lol, and B: Louis will definitely forge his own relationship with the SSG, for Reasons. Spoilers. You'll see eventually.

The next chapter will be the last chapter for awhile. Its technically the end of "Season 1," but I might just keep adding the Season 2 chapters here. Everybody already has this bookmarked.

And I'm working on Season 2, but if it wasn't already obvious, there are a number of things that are different - and a number of things that weren't yet dealt with here, will be dealt with next Season. So I've got material, but I'll be finetuning it before I start posting. Gimme a month or two.

Next week's chapter will be all good things, I promise! The trio has a good date. :)

But if you guys want something similar to tide you over until I start posting Season 2, I've started posting another angst/humor/LGBT/mental health fic - Avatar: The Lost Reptile Bender.

Also, any ideas for what to call the gumi? I'm open to suggestions, but I might just keep it as Shishigumi for all. I haven't decided. One more thing I'm taking the time to think about lol...

Chapter 33: Who you're fated to be with

Summary:

The good day that was promised.

Notes:

Comments are always appreciated and they keep me writing and posting. Thank you for all your support getting this far. :)

Also, ahhh, somehow this got by me but TaiArts drew this really fluffy series! It's so cute.

Three of the Shishigumi’s leaders and three of the Dokugumi’s were standing on opposite sides of the room.

 

Between them all, sitting on the couch, was Gosha himself. Gouhin stood behind him.

 

The bear was pissed at still having to be there, and was hoping someone would do something already. Gosha promised he’d make it worth his time, somehow, but the waiting was killing him. At least the gangsters didn’t care if Gouhin lit up another smoke.

 

Gosha gave him the side-eye though.

 

Gosha needed to give them all a firm talk about the dangers of smoking, later - even Gouhin. The doctor should know better. 

 

First things first. 

 

Gosha dialed in the numbers through his cellphone, and Yafya’s phone was ringing on the other side. 

 

Gosha still thought it was funny, “He never picks up…”

 

It finally switched to an answering machine.

 

Gosha had it on speaker phone so everyone could hear Yafya’s recorded voice curtly stating, “Leave a message.”

 

So he did.

 

Gosha spoke warmly, “Hey, Yaf. I hope you’re doing well. I just wanted you to know that the Shishigumi kidnapped Legosi. Don’t worry, he’s fine now. I handled it myself. I figured you’d be busy. Their old boss tried to eat Legosi though, and Legosi kind of killed him to get away. I have to run them and the Dokugumi now, so they’ll never touch Legosi again. You know how it is. Protection. I’ll try to keep them out of your mane. Let’s avoid unnecessary casualties. Oh, you’re still invited for Rexmas, if you ever want to come over. We always set a plate for you. Bye, Yaf. Have fun ruling the city.”

 

Just a grandpa talking to an old friend, not a murder lizard talking to the devil of the underworld.

 

They were all staring at him.

 

The dark abyss of Gouhin’s eyes remained inscrutable.

 

Gosha reminded them, “Don’t worry. I told you, he hasn’t picked up in years. Jinma, I still need those finance reports. I need to know what we’re working with. Dolph, where’s that update regarding your fighting force? Savon, how are you on -”

 

The phone started ringing.

 

The group tensed again.

 

Gosha frowned. “…You know, I honestly didn’t think he’d call back this fast.”

 

Gosha accepted the call gladly, “Hey, Yaf!”

 

The Black Devil yelled, “TAKE ME OFF THE SPEAKER PHONE, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE!”

 

Gosha changed the settings and covered the receiver. He apologized to the others, “Sorry. Yaf’s sensitive.” 

 

He brought the phone back up to listen. “Okay. We’re good.”

 

The shouting continued. The gangsters could still hear some of it. Gosha waited patiently, lazily, biding his time. He nodded along to himself. 

 

After five minutes of indistinct yelling on the line and Gosha trying to calmly explain things, Gosha asked him, “Does this mean you’re not coming to Rexmas?”

 

He waited… 

 

He blinked… 

 

“…He hung up on me.”

…… 

The rumors spread throughout Cherryton as they always had - and now at the speed of Beastbook, all through the night. 

 

A lot of the school had already heard about Legosi’s kidnapping, since most of the drama club hadn’t gone along with their suicidal rescue mission. 

 

Even before then, the club had been asking people all around the festival about him, too - back when they were looking for clues. The average fair attendee might not have recognized Legosi’s name, but the Cherryton students sure did. The Guardian Demon was gone.

 

And then some of the drama club who went along to the black market updated some of those who didn’t, and Cherryton faced a second information shockwave over Legosi’s rescue.  

 

That morning, people were equal parts astonished and relieved to see Legosi in class again. He was the same white-furred, bandaged-up wolf boy that he was the day before, but getting a lot more attention for his nigh miraculous return.  

 

Legosi just wanted to do his math work.

 

Louis and Jack took turns shooing people away, depending on who was interpreting for which class.

 

Legosi only came back so soon because he wanted normalcy - and that was the only reason Leano let him go. He didn’t want to think about last night too much. He didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. But people were making such a stir, Legosi half expected to get called in to see the principal again.

 

He didn’t. 

 

…But Louis did. 

 

Haru offered to help Louis when they talked about it at lunchtime. “I can go with you. I went with Legosi last time. I got a loud noisemaker for this eventuality. Gonna buzz it real loud if Gon starts talking shit…”

 

Louis grinned confidently, “I’ll be fine. It’s not my first time talking to Gon either.”

 

So there Louis was, sitting in Principal Gon’s office, missing part of an afternoon class.

 

The tiger was looking particularly, understandably frustrated. The principal groaned, “Honestly, Louis?? This is just a story, isn’t it? Someone’s bad gossip? A baseless rumor run wild? Please tell me you didn’t actually attempt to rally your classmates to fight the yakuza for Legosi ?? What insanity brought this on?!”

 

Louis chose a slice of honesty. Honesty had been so weirdly empowering last night. It made him feel bold. 

 

He stated, “Sometimes, love motivates us to make irrational decisions. …If it makes you feel better, Legosi’s grandpa saved him with a team of trained professionals. We didn’t need to fire a shot.”

 

“It does not!!” Gon yelled, shocked that he needed to say that out loud.

 

The principal sank back into his chair, grumbling to himself and rubbing his forehead. 

 

Louis thought he heard Gon mutter the word “ children .”

 

Louis asked in all seriousness, “So … shall I begin packing my bags?”

 

Gon snapped, “The Beastar can’t drop out!”

 

Louis blinked at him. “I’m not a Beastar yet. I’m not anything yet.”

 

Gon said fiercely, “You are now! Honestly, Louis! I might have expected this sort of thing from a fanciful ‘Wolf Demon,’ but I thought you were smarter than this! You rallied your classmates to launch a suicidal search and rescue mission for a carnivore - a carnivore who your school has come to love and adore in a very short period of time! You had the herbivore students in your corner already, and some of the small-breed carnivores, and now the large-breed carnivores are grateful, too!”

 

Louis wasn’t sure if he believed that. “I wasn’t doing it for anyone’s gratitude. I just had to do something. They kidnapped Legosi. Legosi is my friend.”

 

The principal insisted, “The carnivore students owe you, Louis, whether you think of it that way or not! Because in all likelihood, I won’t be able to stop Legosi from being next year’s Beastar! I don’t know if this will do anything about the fanatics, young men like that jaguar, but for the rest of the school??” 

 

Gon sighed deeply, fussily. 

 

He talked slower, “However it happened last night, the large-breed carnivores of Cherryton saw - for the first time - that you could stand with them, not just against them.”

 

Haru had said something like that when she was arguing with Oguma. Louis remembered it vaguely, “A Beastar has to lead both sides…”

 

The strained tiger was still attempting to compose himself. He said, “I know congratulations are in order. This is the highest award that the school can give, and we haven’t given it to anyone in five years. But you must promise me, please : you and Legosi must curtail this eagerness to throw your lives away. You’re still just very young men. You have so much more to live for.”

 

Louis grinned with heart-filling warmth. He cradled his bitten, braced arm like it was a badge of honor. “Yes. We do. I think I should go do some of that living now. Legosi might still need me to interpret in his next class. Is there anything else I can do for you, sir?”

 

Principal Gon waved to dismiss him. “I’ll send you more information regarding your new station. You’ll have to give a speech to the student body next month, but keep this to yourself for now. I’ll release an official statement later this week. …Handle yourself with maturity and decorum. You represent all of Cherryton now.”

 

Louis replied, “Glad to be of service, sir.”

……

Haru stared at Legosi, “Oh, you can NOT be serious!”

 

The white wolf had only just arrived at the garden club after classes and insisted, [I am. I still want to attend the festival.]

 

The rabbit’s ears were particularly animated as she spoke, “Uh, we got attacked twice - two nights in a row! That festival is cursed, I’m never going again.”

 

Legosi frowned, [But we left a ton of stuff there from the club. I’m assuming you guys didn’t sell all the flowers, right? And I never got to eat any of the fair food.]

 

Haru snapped, “And it all can rot! We’ll just make up the sales another way, around the school or something.”

 

Louis offered, “I could ask some of the drama club to bring your gear back. They have to bring a lot of production equipment back from the fairgrounds anyway.”

 

Legosi huffed once. [It’s my first festival with Cherryton and I’ve missed a lot over the years! We don’t have to worry about the Shishigumi anymore; grandpa made sure of that. Also, I was just really looking forward to having some of that special fair food, and I’m not going to let those lions keep me from all those delicious snack things. So I’m going whether you guys come with me or not.]

 

Louis gave a very small, quick laugh. 

 

Haru glared at the deer, “Great. Child of the mob one day and Legosi is already making demands.” She turned on the wolf, “I’d expect this behavior from Louis, but you??”

 

Legosi joked, [Oh please, I’m sure Louis would fit right in with the mob. He could run the mob all on his own, no grandpa needed.]

 

Louis snapped, “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean?”

 

Legosi teased, [Means you’re very scary with or without a gun. I’m sure you could have broken the whole Shishigumi on your lonesome. What was it you said? You can make carnivores obey by radiating a killer’s self-confidence?]

 

Louis complained, “Well, gee, thanks. I honestly don’t know if that’s a compliment or not.” He still elected to give in, “But if you want to go so badly, I won’t stop you. Maybe I can borrow my dad’s security team again…”

 

Haru groaned, “Ugh, I’m surrounded by crazy people…”

 

Legosi asked, [Would you feel better if I brought along the sword?]

 

Haru tilted her head, “Wait, you kept that thing?”

 

Legosi commented frankly, [Yes, of course. I should probably get a lock box for it. Durham wanted to play with it this morning. But I knew I’d have to fight to get back to you guys, and whoever made that sword knew what they were doing. All my sword training with grandpa helped out a lot. And now I have first-hand experience with how useful it was in a real fight, it chops gangsters good, so, yes, I’m keeping the sword. It makes me feel safe.]

 

Haru didn’t want to speak against Legosi feeling safe, not after this week.

 

Louis tried to stay lighthearted about their brush with death, “Well, they kidnapped you, and they tried to kidnap Haru, so as far as I’m concerned, anyone in your way deserved killing. I’m honestly not sure how I feel about your grandpa staying behind with them though… or leading them…”

 

Legosi shared that sentiment. [I would have preferred it if they all just keeled over and died, and grandpa was certainly angry enough, he might have pulled that off… but grandpa has always had particular views. He has this whole thing about how it’s only the strong that uphold pacifism. Seeing the way he handled them … I don’t know. I think, even as mad as he was, he wanted to reduce the night to as few deaths as possible - and so did the Shishigumi. He chose babysitting them all over killing them all. I think grandpa is going to be fine.]

 

Louis had to translate a bit of that for Haru.

 

Louis grumbled at the end, “Well, if you’re sure. I just want the record to show that if it was just me , if your grandpa never showed, I would totally have gone in there - guns blazing - to get you back.”

 

Legosi smirked, [Torching a yakuza base in place of a festival candle? You know just how to make me feel loved.]

 

Haru joined sarcastically, “Ugh, is this going to be a thing with us now? Are we tracking body counts? Cause this is totally unfair, you guys got a headstart, I didn’t know it was a competition. What’s a rabbit got to do to kill some gangsters around here?”

 

Legosi signed, [Slash their throat?]

 

Louis said, “Shoot them in the head?” 

 

Legosi snapped his fingers, [Oh, bite them in the neck!]

 

Dark humor was a frighteningly common response to a traumatic incident. 

 

Haru complained to no one, “Dad wanted me to find a nice white dwarf rabbit, but no, I had to fall for the crazy guys…”

 

Louis teased, “It’s too late anyway: we all know you like the crazy.”

 

Legosi signed, smiling, [I like you both.]

 

Haru sighed as dramatically as possible, “My father must never find out.”

……

Legosi was unrepentantly happy in less than an hour.

 

The three of them left the Garden Club stall as it was, because Legosi wanted to make a point of just trying everything with the two of them.

 

Legosi actually tried out that strongman game for himself. Recent events had piqued his interest. They had a new mallet now, sans lion blood.

 

Louis warned him, “Don’t break your stitches!”

 

Haru added, “Yeah, that nurse is going to give you such a lecture if you show up three nights in a row!”

 

The white-furred Legosi gave a breathy pulse of a laugh. He humored them by doing it with just his right arm, holding his left side tight. He smashed it so hard that the machine blared loudly that he ‘had the strength of a bear,’ whatever that actually meant. 

 

Louis choked.

 

Legosi explained casually, [Gosha always said our family has ‘explosive power’ or something. We generate a lot of force fast. It’s a muscle thing.]

 

Haru snickered, “Louis does like your muscles.”

 

The red-faced red deer hissed her quiet, “Haru! Not in public!”

 

The rabbit cackled to herself, eagerly carrying away the huge fluffy comfort toy from Legosi’s victory. She picked an extra fuzzy wolf. She thought it was an appropriate choice, but it was practically as big as she was. 

 

She nearly tripped at one point, so Legosi started carrying it on his back instead.

 

There was something of an old-fashioned arcade setup in one corner of the fairgrounds. Louis bought the tokens. Haru turned out to be amazing at skeeball, and a ball toss game, and all other manner of ‘get the X into Y’ fairground games. 

 

Louis joked, “I suppose it only makes sense. She has the most experience with balls and holes.”

 

And then Haru threw a basketball at him so hard that she knocked Louis onto the ground. 

 

Legosi, smirking, signed, [Louis, you totally deserved that.]

 

The red deer giggled to himself on the ground, “Worth it.”

 

Louis got to show a bit of his own expertise when it came to the water gun and air gun games. Even with the brace on his right arm, Louis might have been too good at those games. He was picking off fast-moving targets with lightning precision.

 

Haru had to admit, “Okay, so Louis’s got skills. Scary skills. Suddenly him taking on the Shishigumi doesn’t feel so suicidal.”

 

Louis grinned over the fake weapon, pretending to blow away smoke. “Oguma wanted me to be able to shoot. But I wanted to shoot well . I wasn’t lying the other day when I told that gangster I meant to miss him the first time. I just wanted to get his attention.”

 

Haru muttered, “Well, he’s the one who chose to push his luck…”

 

Legosi made a point of signing, [Thanks for saving us, Louis.]

 

The red deer smiled. “We’re all in the mutual life-saving business now.”

 

“Good business,” Haru agreed.

 

And they had so much food . 

 

Legosi was buying snacks from one place, munching it away when Louis or Haru were playing a game on their own, then getting even more snacks. Roasted nuts, corn on the cob, cotton candy, frozen cheesecake, shaved ice, funnel cake, fruit medleys, fries, waffles, you name it. Legosi spent more of the time with food in his mouth than not.

 

Sometimes he got extra large things to share, and other times, he was the only one with remotely enough stomach left to keep eating.

 

Legosi had always been a bottomless pit for food, but this was getting a little ridiculous, even for him.

 

Haru nodded her head understandingly as Legosi dove into some kind of sugary cake thing. “Big carnivore, big stomach.”

 

“Big everything,” Louis reminded her.

 

Legosi smirked wider. He signed with some difficulty, trying not to spill his snack, [In my defense, I’ve been cut up a lot the last week. Carnivores heal fast, but I still need a lot of fuel to get better.]

 

The rabbit agreed, “Hey, sounds like a good plan to me. The sooner you feel better, the happier I’ll be.”

 

The funhouse mirrors also made them laugh.

 

Haru’s reflection was tall and manly. Legosi’s looked adorably small, like a tiny wolf tot.

 

Louis just looked like Louis in his mirror. Then he moved behind Haru because he also wanted to look taller.

 

They even rode a little train around part of the fairgrounds, and waved as they passed others. It was childish, silly, and shamelessly entertaining. Some of the drama club jumped on the train, too, just for fun.

 

But they only wanted to spend so much time on that, and then they were walking again. They started browsing little craft shops selling tiny knick knacks. Legosi almost fell to the siren call of large wood-carved insect models. 

 

(Louis made a note to buy him some later, when he could be sneaky about it.)

 

Legosi stopped abruptly as they passed another corner of the fair.

 

It was already pretty dark by that point. Night was finally there, but the fair was comfortably lit by many warm lights, and at the center of it all was the fake meteor. 

 

Many couples had already begun lighting candles for the meteor, but there was still a lot of space left open for more. So many other candles were waiting to be lit.

 

Legosi stared at the glowing meteor for a long moment.

 

Haru and Louis turned to watch him, both feeling a little anxiety at what the wolf might be feeling or asking next.

 

Haru started, “Legosi, are you …?”

 

Louis asked, “Are you okay?”

 

Legosi signed that he’d [be right back.]

 

Haru and Louis watched from a distance as Legosi went over to the meteor and lit a candle by himself.

 

But … Legosi didn’t look lonely. 

 

He looked content. 

 

He left his light on the meteor, just like everybody else. As he jogged back to them, Legosi had an even bigger look of happiness all across his face.

 

Louis was still concerned, and felt the need to apologize softly. He half whispered, “Sorry. I know you wanted to light one all together.”

 

The wolf shook his head, still smiling. [It’s okay. I don’t need to light a candle for us. I needed to light a candle for me.]

 

Haru tilted her head in confusion. “Okay… I think I need you to explain that one.”

 

Legosi breathed slowly, and looked once more at the glowing lights of the meteor. It all looked so comforting in the dark.

 

Louis was his voice again.

 

Legosi signed, [You light a candle with someone, and you’re supposed to be fated to be together forever. But you guys were right the other day. That’s superstition. There’s only one person I will always be with … and that’s me. I will always be with myself. And for the first time in a long time … I think I’m okay with that…]

 

[…My mom had to remind me that I’m going to have good days, and bad days, and great days, and best days. She had to remind me that I won’t even know which is which, not at the time. The day Louis got attacked is the day we became the three of us. I didn’t think anyone would ever want me. And then I got you both. Maybe I’ll look back one day, and think of that day as one of the best days in my life…]

 

[…So, for now, I wanted to light a candle for me. …That candle is a promise I’m making to myself. I’m going to overcome all of this. Somehow. In some way. I don’t know if this stuff will ever be curable, and that’s okay. I’m not going to let this stuff keep me from the life I want for myself - not my PTSD, not my throat, not anything else. I want to live… I want to live more … and whatever becomes of my life, from here on out … I think I’ll take a note from Adler , and start living life to the fullest.]

 

Haru gave a whimsical sigh. “Oh, Legosi… you’re such a philosophical wolf…”

 

Legosi signed, [No,] and got out his wallet.

 

Louis huffed, “No? What do you mean, no?”

 

Legosi held his money up, and smiled as big as he could. [I’m a hungry wolf.]

~End Season 1~ <3

Chapter 34: Are you?

Summary:

~~~Season 2~~~

Legosi is being followed.

Louis' speech is going to piss someone off.

Notes:

Hello again everyone, and welcome to Season 2!

I'm uncertain if I'll be able to stick to a regular day of the week for posting due to Life, but I'm up to Chapter 9 in rough draft with more on the way, and I've been looking forward to posting for awhile now, so I figured, here! Let's kick this season off in a big way.

Comments, as always, keep me writing and posting. :)

Wooden sword smacked hard against wooden sword. 

 

Legosi wielded one in each hand, and was fending off each strike from Aoba and Tao simultaneously. They were wearing practice armor, borrowed from the Kendo club.

 

Tao was slashing faster, feline agility catching up to his intent.

 

Aoba was smashing harder, strong upper body making Legosi feel every blocked hit.

 

The wolf gave them ground, ducking and dodging even as he fended off the pair of them. He was making a dance of it, shifting left and right, under arched walls, between bushes. 

 

Aoba and Tao continued the chase through the garden, circled around him from opposite sides. The three carnivores kept up the battle even as Haru tended her rosebed.

 

The drum beat of their training was getting noisier every day.

 

Tao twisted his wooden sword at just the right time, dragging one weapon away from Legosi’s grip. 

 

Aoba ran straight at him, wooden sword held high and ready to strike down.

 

The panther smirked as if that was victory - and Legosi lashed out with his shoe straight into Tao’s stomach. Even through the practice armor, Tao felt that, and Legosi kicked the panther clear off his feet.

 

Aoba’s overhead strike tried to catch Legosi on the shoulder - only for Legosi to shift a foot out of the way. 

 

Two quick smacks of Legosi’s sword to Aoba’s arms and legs, and the bird was knocked off his feet, too.

 

The wolf was breathing heavily, but unmistakably smiling. He tucked the practice sword under his elbow, clapped twice, then signed, [That was great! You guys are getting a lot better!]

 

Tao was holding his stomach, groaning, “We’re fighting you two against one … and still losing. What the hell, dude?”

 

Legosi gave a breathy pulse of a laugh, [But you’re making it a challenge now!]

 

Aoba grumbled, “A what now?”

 

Legosi slowly fingerspelled, [challenge], for them.

 

Tao complained, “Are you training us or are we training you?”

 

The smirking wolf contemplated it. [I like to think we’re all training each other.]

 

Aoba sighed, “If you say so…”

 

It’d been almost a month since the Meteor Festival.

 

Things were starting to get into a rhythm now, a sense of normalcy. Legosi hadn’t spent much time recovering from the wounds he received from the Shishigumi. He wanted to get back to training, to running and lifting weights, like he always did.

 

Tao and Aoba, they doubled down on their own training. Things had escalated so fast last month. They’d gone from worrying over some random teenager maybe making an attack on Louis’ life, to the very real possibility of having to fight the Shishigumi.

 

Confronted with the threat of those lions, Tao had been terrified, and Aoba felt helpless. Neither wanted to feel that way again.

 

It wasn’t even about Louis anymore. Louis’ arm was still undergoing physical therapy, but he didn’t need the brace now. His arm was on the mend. There had been no further attempts on his life, no dark rumors. Ever since bringing Legosi home, the Cherryton carnivores regarded Louis with newfound appreciation.

 

No, Tao and Aoba wanted to keep training for their own peace of mind - so they’d feel ready in case anything else happened.

 

Legosi knew that kind of feeling all too well.

 

Legosi stretched his arms slowly now that he had a moment. They definitely felt sore now. Then he signed to them, [Why don’t we stop here today? I could use a shower before dinner.]

 

Aoba said, “Sure. Sounds good to me.”

 

Tao flopped back on the ground. “I’ll move when I can move.”

 

Legosi’s body shook with another breathy pulse of laughter. 

……

Walking around Cherryton felt so different these days.

 

It hadn’t even been that long a time: just a month.

 

Legosi’s gray fur had grown back in. He walked by himself from his dorm and the showers, clean and dressed and headed towards the cafeteria. 

 

Legosi, Haru, Louis - they had their own little schedule, when they’d meet for dinner, or lunch. They didn’t even really need to say it anymore. It was just always the plan.

 

They would meet for breakfast if they could, but in all fairness, Legosi was never a morning person. The 701 dogs still had to drag him out of bed some days.

 

But whether Legosi was by himself or not, people still called out to him a lot more, wanting to say hi to him. Other people made a point of waving and signing to him when they got his attention. 

 

There had been a burst of interest in sign language a month ago, when he saved Louis, but only some people stuck with it. Still, it was nice having more people to sign with, even if it was just conversational sign. He was even starting to learn their names.

 

It was nice, getting to connect with more people like that around Cherryton… 

 

His popularity, in general, was something he had to get used to.

 

He also had to get used to his shadows.

 

Legosi started getting better at noticing when a certain scent or sound was following him. That continued to be a little unnerving - it threatened to scratch at his trauma symptoms - but it was usually nothing.

 

The heavy footsteps following him today? Those were new.

 

Legosi meandered a little off course from the cafeteria. He took a different turn, around the corner of one building.

 

The heavy footsteps came closer and closer, sped up when Legosi was out of sight, ran to catch up with the wolf, and then they came around the corner right face to face with Legosi’s angry eyes.

 

“Ahh!” The giant with heavy footsteps suddenly fell back, onto his rear.

 

Legosi’s face softened when he recognized the wolf-bear from their shared biology hour. What was his name? Theodore?

 

The frightened wolf-bear was not Legosi’s usual shadow. 

 

Legosi looked at him in more confusion. He signed fast, [What are you doing?]

 

The wolf-bear looked even more anxious and put his hands up defensively. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry, please don’t hurt me!”

 

Legosi’s brows furrowed. His head tilted to one side. His tail swayed in canine curiosity. 

 

Legosi made a point of stretching out his hand then, offering to help the wolf-bear up. 

 

Theodore didn’t notice it at first, and Legosi had to be more insistent about putting his hand in the other’s line of sight. 

 

The wolf-bear was expecting an attack, not assistance.

 

Theodore was still hesitant to accept it even when he did see it. He seemed to be expecting some deception. His big bear-like hand wrapped gently around Legosi’s, before the wolf pulled the other back up onto his feet.

 

Legosi very slowly took his smart phone out of his pocket, and pointed at it. He typed out the question to show him, {Why are you following me?}

 

Even standing up, Theodore was slouching very low. He had his head bowed forward. 

 

The wolf-bear fussed with his big hands in front of him, and he stammered, “I - I wasn’t following you…” 

 

Legosi stared more intensely, suspiciously, making it abundantly clear they both knew that was a lie.

 

The wolf-bear grimaced. “Alright! I - I was following you, but - not badly. I - I mean, yeah, I was probably following badly compared to you, you’re awesome, I just -” the anxious wolf-bear fumbled his sentence and he was looking straight down at the ground, like it could make him invisible - like it could protect him from a scolding. 

 

Legosi had the strangest sensation of looking into a mirror.

 

Legosi reached forward to pat the wolf-bear’s arm. 

 

With old practice, Legosi adjusted his body language, his features, to display empathy, not anger.

 

He gestured for the wolf-bear to take a big breath in, and then blow it back out. Theodore copied Legosi, if only because he was too nervous to do otherwise. 

 

It was quite a powerful exhale, all things considered; the wolf-bear had huge lungs inside that huge body.

 

Then Legosi typed out on his phone, {What’s wrong? What do you need?}

 

Theodore was still looking frightened, anxious, while he read it - like he was expecting this to get violent at any time.

 

The wolf-bear fussed with his shirt and didn’t make eye contact. He muttered, “I don’t need anything. I just … I heard a rumor…”

 

There were certainly a lot of rumors about Legosi these days…

 

Legosi gently motioned for the other to keep going.

 

Theodore kept his head down low, and didn’t make eye contact with Legosi. The bigger hybrid mumbled, “I didn’t think I could ask you in biology hour… I didn’t want to put you on the spot, or embarrass you, or confront you, or - or anything like that. But I heard this rumor, about you, and about when you disappeared, and - and you don’t have to answer, I don’t want to sound rude, but - but if it’s real, if it’s you, then … then it’d just really mean a lot, you know?”

 

Legosi was still looking confused, but was trying to be understanding. He typed out, {What’s the rumor?}

 

And then Theodore looked up with such genuine, desperate hope in his eyes. He signed the question, had looked up the specific motions for it and everything.

 

[Are you a hybrid, too?]

 

Legosi felt a smile tugging at his lips.

 

A wolf-bear’s tail, as it turns out, can wag just as fast as a regular wolf’s. 

…… 

Legosi was a little late to dinner, but Louis and Haru were munching and talking away at one of their usual tables. 

 

Haru giggled, “Get a little lost in the shower there, Legosi?”

 

Legosi set his food tray down on the table. He still had a curious smile on his face. [No. Someone just wanted to ask me about a rumor…]

 

Louis was more tense about that word. “You look awfully happy to talk about a ‘rumor.’ I hope that means it’s a good one at least.”

 

Legosi looked amused. [I feel like I should be upset about this one, but I’m not.]

 

Haru asked to clarify, “Wait, you should be upset? Did I get that right?”

 

Legosi nodded. [There’s a hybrid on campus. He’s really noticeable. He’s a wolf-bear.] Legosi fingerspelled more of that for Haru, just in case she didn’t know the signs for hybrid, wolf or bear.

 

Haru’s eyes went wider, “Oh yeah! I’ve seen him around. The absolute unit. Don’t have any classes with him though.”

 

Louis wondered, “Isn’t he a younger student? I know he looks huge, but … well, he’s part bear.”

 

Legosi explained, [Yeah. His name is Theodore. I see him in the wolf biology hours sometimes. I think he has to attend both kinds actually. He stopped to talk to me today because … he said there’s a rumor going around, that I’m a hybrid.]

 

Louis choked on his vegetables. He signed, [There’s what? There’s a rumor about what?]

 

Haru looked confused, but not about the signs. 

 

Legosi repeated it casually, [That I’m a hybrid. …I don’t know. I haven’t heard it myself. It’s just what Theodore said.]

 

Haru struggled to ask, “How did that even come up??”

 

Legosi answered simply, [He asked me. He wanted to ask me when I was alone, cause he was afraid it’d make me feel bad or something.]

 

Louis was already afraid of the worst. “And … did it? What did you say?”

 

Legosi started to eat some of his dinner, but he kept signing. [I told him the truth. I told him about my grandparents.]

 

Haru hesitated. “I really don’t want this to come out the wrong way, but … why? I thought you didn’t want people to know about that.” 

 

Legosi was chewing away on his food. [I didn’t think I did either. I would have felt bad about it a few months ago. …He just … It looked like it meant so much to him, to know someone like me could be someone like him. How many hybrids actually get into Cherryton?]

 

The rabbit hazarded a guess, “Like, two or three? At least the ones that are obvious, I mean…”

 

Louis signed to be discrete, […If we hadn’t seen your family, I don’t think I’d have ever realized that you’re not full wolf. But, still…]

 

Legosi added, [And Cherryton has several thousand students each year… But … I can hide it. I never thought I’d be saying this, but … I can pass for normal. Guys like Theodore can’t. It’s obvious, even when you see him on the other side of the cafeteria or a lecture hall. People know what he is immediately.] 

 

Louis asked in that worrisome way, “Legosi, is this something we need to get ahead of? This kind of rumor, should we squash it now?”

 

Legosi had to think about that. […No. Let it be for now.]

 

Haru, too, was a little worried. “What if it affects your chances next year? People are still saying you could be next year’s Beastar…”

 

Legosi shook his head with a weird sort of satisfaction. [I never wanted to be a Beastar anyway. I’ve had to do a whole lot of soul-searching the last few months… I don’t think I’d want to be a Beastar if it meant having to reject who I am. It’s taken me a long time to get more comfortable with myself. I don’t want to move backwards.] 

 

Louis took a heavy breath, “If you’re certain… A rumor is much harder to stop once it’s picked up momentum.”

 

Haru warned, “Yeah, and with small animals, rumors spread really fast, and they can stay around for a long time. I’m a pro when it comes to being a bullied, so let me say this: a rumor is like a big ball on a hill. The more scandalous the rumor, the steeper the hill is, and once the ball comes rolling down, it becomes an unstoppable force.”

 

Louis turned to her, “Wait, are you still being bullied? I thought they were leaving you alone!”

 

Haru sort of scoffed, “Oh, please, I’ve always been bullied. Sure, it’s been better lately, but it’s still nothing I can’t handle.”

 

Legosi frowned at that. [Is there something we can do to help?]

 

Haru laughed a little, “I’m glad that you guys are looking out for me, but I’m no damsel in distress. You don’t have to worry about me.”

 

It was Legosi’s turn to hesitate. […Would it help if we … I don’t know, came out about our relationship?]

 

Haru snorted, “Ah, yes, I can see it now… ‘Hello, everyone, I’m dating the only grandson of a mob boss’… I’m sure this can have no consequences on my social life whatsoever.”

 

Legosi shrunk a little. [Well … would it help?]

 

Louis joked, “Cement shoes would certainly be one way to deter your bullies.”

 

Haru sighed, “You guys talk about murder way too easily these days…”

 

Louis said brightly, “Thanks! It’s the trauma.”

 

[Speaking of trauma,] Legosi started like it was also a joke, [Are you ready for your big speech tomorrow?]

 

Louis sat up straighter, “Yes. Absolutely. I’ve been ready for three years.”

 

Haru shook her head. “We’ll be in the audience, watching, so try not to choke.”

 

Louis rolled his eyes dramatically, “Your concern is touching, really.”

 

Legosi signed happily, [You’re going to do great. I just know it.]

……

The school auditorium was packed. Everyone in Cherryton had to be there that day.

 

They even had reporters from the public, taking photos, taking notes.

 

Louis stood proudly on stage as Gon gave him an introduction. He recounted Louis’ many successes, his scholastic accomplishments, the revolution of the drama department…  

 

Gon didn’t mention the suicide mission, but everyone else knew about it already.

 

Louis stood with his antlers held high, arms at his sides.

 

Gon finished, “It is now my great pride to give the mic to Cherryton’s newest Beastar … Louis, the red deer.”

 

Applause went up. Even the old tiger was clapping, stepping aside for Louis to take the podium, where the mic was waiting for his every word.

 

Louis started with a joke, “Coexistence and coprosperity… Before I graduate, I had to say that at least one more time.” He got a few laughs. Louis looked confident anyway as he explained, “That’s been my mantra here at Cherryton for the last few years: the idea that all of us, living side by side, working side by side, would lead to benefit for us all. We benefit from being together; I am convinced of that now more than ever. Carnivores and herbivores, mammals and reptiles, male and female, and everything in between… all of us sitting here in this auditorium…” 

 

“…and everyone else out there in that huge, wide world… If I had to go down a list of species, we’d be here all evening. That’s life, isn’t it? There’s an infinite, dazzling array of diversity, just waiting to be noticed. Each of us have our strengths, our weaknesses, our likes and dislikes, our hopes and dreams… We all can be so very different from each other, and that’s not bad. It’s why I’m here right now. We’re all here today because … I’m a little different, from myself…”

 

Louis saw Legosi out in the crowd. Legosi was hanging on his every word.

 

Louis stated, “I’m different from who I used to be - and this is something I’m proud of. I’m still growing and learning, just like all of you. I don’t think learning ever stops. It shouldn’t ever stop.” 

 

Louis glanced down at the mic for a moment, and down at his own hands. Louis had a look of satisfaction on his lips. 

 

He admitted, “It’s no secret that I’ve wanted this moment. I’ve wanted to be here, on this stage, to be the Beastar. I’ve wanted that. I’ve worked very hard for it, for a very long time. It was my aspiration, my goal, like many others here. I made it my life. I’ve dreamed of it. I’ve had a speech committed to memory all these years, in preparation for this moment…”

 

Louis remembered Legosi on stage, fighting against Bill, and he remembered Legosi fighting to save him from that jaguar. He remembered Haru, always at his back, always ready to call him on his shit - his confidence and confidant.

 

Louis explained to the crowd, “…But this last year, I was challenged by many people - by friends, and enemies - by those I love, and those who preferred me dead. And here we are, I’m on this stage, and my old speech feels so … trite. It feels unworthy. I am Louis the red deer, and Gon has done a wonderful job of recounting my scholastic aptitude, my accomplishments in theater, but let’s be honest: it’s not my grades that put me here today. No, what actually put me on this stage … was that I knew a friend was in trouble, and I had to do something to help…”

 

“…Is that what it means to be a Beastar? To be someone who helps? In the old days, we used the stars to guide us at sea, to find our way in the dark, to give us direction when we’ve lost our way. A Beastar is supposed to be an icon, a leader - someone that we all can and should look up to. A year ago, I would have said that’s me. A year ago, I would have believed whole-heartedly that I belonged up here, as your Beastar. Now I am here, and I don’t know if that’s true anymore. I don’t know if a lot of things are true anymore…”

 

“…Coexistence and coprosperity… I’m not sure if that sentiment is accurate anymore. ‘Coexistence,’ that word … it feels wrong. Is it enough for us to just ‘exist’ beside each other? I don’t want to just ‘exist’ anymore. I don’t think that’s sufficient. To live, to love, to become great… I don’t think you can just ‘exist’ for that. There has to be more. I found so much more in this last year, found love in the last place I would have looked for it. When I stand here today, looking out at all of you… I see a brilliant tapestry of lives that I know nothing about. I see a kaleidoscope of passions, dreams, and it makes my own feel small…”

 

“…I’m here, and I’m supposed to be Cherryton’s first Beastar in five years, and I’m supposed to be great, but I can say with full knowledge, full confidence, that I’m hardly special at all. I’m like you. I’m like any of you. I’ve gone through things that shaped me, made me the way that I am, the way that I was. And I can talk a good talk and give a great performance on stage, but as your Beastar, I know I need to be more, and do more. So here, as your Beastar, I am making a promise…”

 

“…This is where my work begins. This is where I become better than who I was yesterday. Carnivores and herbivores, mammals and reptiles, male and female - we set up these binaries for ourselves, but real life is so much broader, so much brighter. There’s so much more - our hybrids, our LGBTQ+, and everyone who feels bad for loving someone different - we have so many stories, and I love a good story. It’s what drew me to theater, but we are more than actors on a stage. Our lives, our experiences, can not be fit into a few hours. But even after I leave here, I hope with all my heart that I keep hearing Cherryton’s stories… and I want the world to hear them, too…”

 

“…So I don’t want to just be Cherryton’s Beastar. I want to do right by everyone here - and to do that, I need to learn so much more. That is my aspiration now: not to just be a Beastar, but to be as great a Beastar as I can possibly be, for all of you, and for myself. I will learn. I will do better. I will learn to do right by you. I will endeavor to make you proud. I will live with you, because I know, when we embrace what makes us different, we can do so much more than prosper. Join me in that. Join me in being a Cherryton that takes pride in our diversity - because I can’t wait for the world to hear all the stories you can tell.”

 

A few pockets of the auditorium began clapping right away, loud and insistent.

 

Then another third began to clap, too, louder and louder.

 

They dragged all the rest into filling the auditorium with thunderous applause.

 

Legosi and Haru were never as proud of Louis as they were in that moment.

Chapter 35: Where are they now?

Summary:

I just think it's funny, okay?

Notes:

Comments keep me writing and posting. :)

Haru was giggling as she fell on the bed in the garden club, “I can’t believe they didn’t cut your mic!”

 

Louis flopped on the bed beside her, hands behind his head. “I admit, I thought they would at a few points.”

 

Standing around, Legosi’s fur was flustered and fluffy. He looked like he couldn’t believe it either. He signed, [That was crazy, Louis…]

 

Louis joked, “Fighting the Shishigumi crazy, or being in a poly relationship with a carnivore crazy?”

 

Legosi huffed, [The former. Wait. The latter. I don’t know.]

 

Louis leaned up, and moved to pull on Legosi’s shirt. “I admit, you two inspired me. You continue to inspire me…”

 

Haru teased, “Awww… Louis’ being all sweet today… He must want something.”

 

The red deer dramatically rolled his eyes, “I can be sweet without wanting something.”

 

Legosi was still hesitant about laying on the same bed as them. He signed small, [They can’t take it away, can they? Your Beastar status?]

 

Louis replied, “I dare them to try.”

 

[Louis…] Legosi fussed with his hands. 

 

Louis amended himself, “I liked what you signed the other day: I wouldn’t want to be a Beastar if it means rejecting how I got there. I got there because of you two. Because you two challenged me, and I want to be good for you. I love you both.”

 

The wolf was still looking embarrassed. [I love you both, too…]

 

Haru added, “And I love everyone. Now are you going to join us for hardcore cuddling? Because we only have so much time before curfew, and Louis has tomorrow night with his dad.”

 

Louis tugged on Legosi’s shirt again. “Please, let’s not talk about my dad when we’re cuddling. It ruins the mood.”

 

Haru giggled a little to herself. “Yes, yes…”

 

Legosi gave in to Louis’ pull, and joined them on the bed. [I do like cuddling…]

 

Louis wanted to double-check, “Just cuddling though, right?”

 

They didn’t want to push the wolf beyond what he was comfortable with.

 

Legosi nodded a little. [At least for now…]

 

Haru hugged herself against Legosi’s big body. “As it so happens, I am an expert cuddler.”

 

Louis moved in closer, and tried not to think of tomorrow.

…… 

Dinner with Oguma was always … distinct. 

 

It wasn’t about the food. It never was. Oguma could afford some of the best chefs in the country and thensome. It was delicious. What they discussed, however… was not always pleasant. 

 

Louis was carefully cutting the pieces of his dinner, trying to seem focused on that alone, and not today’s imminent lecture. 

 

Louis and Oguma sat on opposite sides of a long table, occasionally talking to each other across the distance - but mostly they were silent. Tonight, the awkwardness between them had lasted the whole meal. Neither of them wanted to bring up the events last month - what they both remembered from Louis’ outburst on the phone.

 

*

 

Oguma questioned, “And what do you propose to do? Storm the den of a hungry gang of carnivores?”

 

Louis insisted, “If I have to!”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” the old stag replied. “He’s just a wolf, and a broken one at that.”

 

Louis shouted, “He’s my wolf! Mine! And he’s not broken! Don’t you dare say that again!!”

 

Oguma ordered, “Louis, control yourself.”

 

Louis swore, “Tell Azuki: the fucking marriage is off! I’m going to save my boyfriend! And you can either give me the people to do it or not, but I’m fucking going! And if you won’t help? Then fuck you, too!!”

 

*

 

And now it was just the two of them.

 

It felt weird not having Legosi and Haru there. Louis was so used to them being around for meals at Cherryton, that their absence here was conspicuous. Louis could imagine the pair right beside him, in all the empty spaces that should have been filled.

 

They would have normally had the butler, Yuta, to attend to their dining needs, but Oguma told Yuta to leave already. That was enough warning to put Louis on guard, but the pair of red deer were still dancing around the important conversations.

 

Louis commented, “I had a surprising dream last night… I was acting in Adler again.”

 

Oguma didn’t reply. His sharp eyes were just … waiting.

 

Louis wasn’t sure if their eyes ever met each other.

 

Louis went on, “I still have every line memorized. That’s how immersed I was with playing that reaper. Cherryton performs it every year. It will be strange attending a college without that tradition.”

 

Oguma cleared his throat, “You do not usually talk about your dreams, Louis.”

 

Louis corrected himself, “Please forget about it. I was just feeling nostalgic.”

 

“It’s fine,” Oguma said fast. “I regret that I haven’t been able to see one of your performances.”

 

Louis resisted the urge to laugh. “I never thought I’d hear that from you, father.”

 

Oguma was quiet, for just a moment. Then he said, “I am serious. I wanted your wedding to be your very best time on a stage. There would have been photographers and journalists from every newspaper. I wanted to see you … on that stage.”

 

Louis grit his teeth.

 

The phone call was weeks ago, but Oguma had been playing dumb so far. He’d barely shown any awareness of Louis’ outburst at all.

 

Louis said carefully, “…You’re being hasty.”

 

Oguma asked outright, “Do you dislike females?”

 

Louis had food halfway to his mouth, and froze.

 

Ah. There it is at last… 

 

Louis set his fork down. He squeezed his eyes shut.

 

Louis faked a brighter smile, “That’s quite the change in topic. Is there a problem?”

 

Oguma was looking concerned. His usual blankness was tinged with something else, some unspoken emotion. 

 

Oguma asked, “Don’t you think it’s a little late to act this way? You’ve reached your rebellious phase at 18 years. You even said that wolf … was your boyfriend.”

 

Louis had promised himself not to regret the way that night ended. He coerced Oguma into providing those security teams, and they might not have saved Legosi at all if Louis hadn’t yelled at his father so.

 

Louis stated, “I’m not being rebellious.”

 

Oguma asked to clarify, “Do you dislike females, or … do you just dislike female deer?”

 

Louis attempted to stay strong. “Actually, I realized I have some bisexual tendencies this last year. My preference is usually for women, but some men are … special. Legosi is very special to me.”

 

“Understood,” Oguma stated with an unexpected amount of empathy. “Either way … this puts you in a … delicate situation.”

 

Louis began cutting his food again. “Let’s not talk about it.”

 

Oguma continued, “I am the CEO of Horns Conglomerate, and you are my heir. Ever since I bought you from the back alley market, our … business talks … have always been indispensable to me. Your decisions will impact that business. It is important for us to discuss this matter. Besides… it is not like I am your … real father. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

 

Oguma immediately regret phrasing it like that. 

 

Another painful silence set in between them.

 

Louis acknowledged bitterly, “You are not my real father. You are correct about that.”

 

Louis regret saying that, too.

 

More pain in the quiet chewing of their food.

 

Oguma asked coldly, “Was it me?”

 

Louis stared.

 

Oguma’s face, for once, was filling with uncertainty. 

 

Louis questioned, “Was what you?”

 

The old stag hesitated. He glanced down at his food and started cutting it faster. “Nothing. I just mean your … lack of a mother figure. I’ve never courted a woman. I have provided for you in every way I can, but I’ve never provided for you in that way. Your life has lacked for a female role model.”

 

Louis found himself joking, “And what, you think that’s why I have a boyfriend now?”

 

Oguma shoved food into his mouth.

 

Louis wanted to laugh, “Father, that’s not how it works. That’s not how any of this works!”

 

Oguma swallowed a huge bite, “Well, how does it work?? I thought you’d want a nice woman when you grew up. I found Azuki for you. Her family’s business practices are compatible with ours. She’s an advantageous political and financial choice for you. She’s even supposed to be pretty, according to a number of sources. You have conquered every task set before you. I am left to assume I did something wrong.”

 

Louis said bluntly, “Father, my sexuality has nothing to do with you or Azuki, positively or negatively! My feelings just are the way they are. Homosexuality is found in more species than we can count, and it’s been that way for as long as people can tell. There is a whole spectrum of romantic and sexual orientations, and people can spend their whole lives trying to figure it out for themselves. I had to figure out a number of things about myself this year. That’s biological, and that’s natural, regardless of what your generation has tried to teach.”

 

Oguma was trying to read something out of Louis’ bearing, as if searching him for falsehood. “And where did you learn something like that? Do they teach that at Cherryton?”

 

Louis scoffed, “Hardly. Cherryton is old fashioned that way, too. But I’ve dated a young woman who knows a lot more about these things than I do. She’s much smarter and wiser than I am. She’s the one who helped me work through my own feelings about Legosi. It’s not like I woke up one day and suddenly knew I liked Legosi. I didn’t understand my own feelings.”

 

Oguma looked just a bit more guilty. He said quietly, “…We all have feelings we don’t understand… I’m sorry. I have not been able to help you with yours.”

 

Louis took a sip of his drink. He tried to say warmly, “Well, whether you’re my biological father or not, you’ve provided for me financially, and you got me those specialists to help me when I was little. You helped me recover from the trauma of the market.” 

 

Oguma mirrored Louis, and sipped his drink. 

 

Oguma spent longer, though, looking down at his reflection in the glass. 

 

He tried to warn Louis, voice rigid and robotic, “Whether you believe it is natural or not… it is going to be hard for you, Louis. Living any life with Legosi will be so much harder than you know. Horns has always employed herbivores alone. The board is proud of that fact, and they will fight you if you try to change it. They might fight you for even having that wolf in your life. I am glad you were able to save your boyfriend… But I do not know if you realize how difficult a life with him would be.”

 

Louis didn’t have to think about that long. He spoke, resolved and resolute, “I’m an actor, father. And a great one. I know exactly how to look the right part, speak the right part. I know how to give my lines in all the right ways, control every angle of my body… And a few months ago, I would have been fine with that. I could have tolerated a life on stage, acting my part with Azuki, and with Horns…”

 

“…But I’m not who I was a few months ago. Who I am now is someone I want to be. I am happy to be me, and I didn’t even know that was possible. I don’t want to live my life just playing a part on stage. I want my life to be my life, and not a role of someone else’s making. I think it would be much harder to live my every moment as an actor, attempting to convince everyone of a carefully constructed lie.”

 

Oguma muttered into his glass of wine, “How true that is…”

 

Louis’ ear flicked. “I’m sorry?”

 

Oguma cleared his throat, “Ignore me. It is just the worries of a father.”

 

Louis felt bolder after saying all that, and started looking playful, too. “You know, father… it’s not too late to change all that.”

 

Oguma squinted suspiciously. “Change what?” 

 

Louis dared to tease, “If you think I need a female role model, just go out. Start dating. You haven’t dated anyone in all the years I’ve been here.”

 

Oguma stated flatly, “It would not be successful.”

 

Louis smirked, “How do you know that? Because you can’t sire a child? There are plenty of women who would be happy to hear that.”

 

The old stag spoke more firmly, “We are getting significantly off-topic. My facility for childbearing has nothing to do with my lack of interest in women. They are separate concerns. Like you, I … have never understood feelings well. Business is easier to quantify. Unlike you, I am no actor. No. In such an endeavor, I am vulnerable to deception, to manipulation. The company - and you - are safest if I have no dealings with women at all.”

 

Louis joked loudly, “Then go date a man!”

 

Oguma shoved another too-big bite of food into his mouth (his only sign of disdain), and gave a great show of chewing on it.

 

Louis stared.

 

The clock was ticking away the silence again.

 

Louis leaned in closer. “No.”

 

Oguma finally swallowed. “No what?”

 

Louis got up from his seat, took his chair with him until he could sit right next to Oguma. 

 

The old stag asked, “Louis, what are you doing? What is this?”

 

Louis looked scandalously amused. He whispered, “You want to date a man.”

 

Oguma complained, “I do not. That is a preposterous notion.”

 

Louis’ grin split wider. He kept whispering, but he talked excitedly, “You do. You want a guy. That’s why you’ve never had a girlfriend, or even a fling. That’s why you’ve never had a kid.”

 

Oguma spoke like he was repeating an old lie, “I can’t have children, Louis. You know that. I am simply incapable -”

 

Louis finished playfully, “Because you like guys.”

 

The stag’s eyes were looking tighter, more angry. He said mechanically, “Rebellious. You are just being rebellious. Louis, this behavior is unacceptable. You are out of line. I will not have you disparaging me this way.”

 

Louis insisted quietly, “I’m not disparaging you. I’m excited for you!”

 

Oguma grunted, “There is nothing to be excited about. Even if I wanted such a thing - and I do not - it’s scandalous, it’s unacceptable. My life with the company is too demanding already, I am too old for … youthful experimentation!”

 

Louis scoffed, “People experiment at every age. There are plenty of people out there who like older men. Plenty of people would find you attractive.”

 

Oguma kept his voice measured, “I am not discussing this with you, Louis. I am your father. This is inappropriate. I should be giving you romantic advice, not the other way around!”

 

Louis asked him, “Are you happy?”

 

The sincerity was like a stab wound. 

 

Oguma didn’t know how to reply to that.

 

Louis’ eyes were open and honest. “It’s been years, and the only time I’ve seen you smile is for photographs.”

 

Oguma grumbled, “I am certain I smiled when you told me about your nomination.”

 

Louis grinned. “Yeah. I’m a Beastar now - a light, and a pillar of the community - Cherryton’s first one in five years. Clearly the two of us are doing something right.”

 

The old stag finally released a breath that he didn’t know he’d been holding in. His voice dipped down to a whisper, “Louis, I can not protect you from everything… Any life with Legosi will be filled with risks. I cannot even calculate them all. You know the dangers of carnivores more intimately than I. …I don’t know how to help you, if you proceed in this relationship. When it comes to romantic endeavors, I don’t even know how to help myself.”

 

The young red deer said, “Well, part of being a family is supposed to be helping each other. These relationships were never meant to be a one-way street.”

 

Oguma seemed uncomfortable making eye contact with his son. He was staring at his wine again. “You really have changed, Louis…”

 

Louis nodded. “Yes. I have. These last few months have challenged me in many ways. I am different… I’m happy with who I am now. I didn’t think I would ever feel that way. And I want you to be happy, too. Despite any misunderstandings tonight … I’m glad we had this conversation.”

 

Oguma scoffed, “A ‘conversation.’ Is that what you call it?”

 

The old stag took another long drink of his wine.

 

“Yes,” Louis replied easily. “I don’t think we’ve been honest with each other in a long time.”

 

Oguma stayed quiet. 

 

Louis continued, “I’d like for us to talk like this more often.”

 

Oguma actually laughed, “Do you enjoy my discomfort so much?”

 

“No,” Louis clarified. “I enjoy knowing you better.”

 

Louis went back to the other side of the long table, where his plate and drink were still waiting. He picked them all up, with the silverware, and took his seat again at Oguma’ side. Louis asked him earnestly, “How was the company today?”

 

Oguma still didn’t know where to begin.

……

Gosha sat in the boss’ room of the Shishigumi’s tower. 

 

He reclined back on the huge couch as he read some more reports, using glasses to help his aging vision.

 

Leano was on the other side of a phone call, making a soup for her dinner. She spoke softly, “It just seems … unnecessary.”

 

Gosha admitted, “I suppose it is. …No. You’re right. It is unnecessary…”

 

Leano was stirring the pot slowly. “You don’t have to. It’s not too late. You could leave, at any time you want. You should be leaving this to Yafya…”

 

Gosha set down the report, and focused on the phone. He said slowly, “I don’t know if that’s true.”

 

Leano gently insisted, “You could make it true. You were strong enough to break in. You’re strong enough to break out.”

 

Gosha gave a small laugh, “If I really tried. But I’m unwilling to take that many lives, unless I have to. …I’d ask you not to worry, but I know you will. But I know how to handle men like these. I used to be one of them.”

 

Leano whispered a fear, “And you’re becoming one again…”

 

Gosha breathed softly. He made an obvious attempt to change the conversation, “Is Savon treating you right?”

 

Leano said, “I don’t need someone bringing me groceries, Dad. And I don’t need a bodyguard either. I told you, I can handle myself.”

 

Gosha grumbled, “Well, I’m allowed to worry, too. I don’t like the idea of you living alone.”

 

Leano nearly teased, “And whose fault is that? You can’t have it both ways, Dad: doting family man, or gumi mob boss. You have to pick one.”

 

Gosha grunted, “Well, we’ll see about that.”

 

There was a knock at the door. A deep voice called through it, “Boss? You asked for me?”

 

Gosha whispered fast, “I’ll call you later, honey. Take care.”

 

Gosha had barely turned the phone off before he said angrily, “Come in!”

 

A large lion entered quickly, and closed the door behind him. He stood solid, strong, his mane in braids. He faced forward with a soldier’s discipline. 

 

Gosha set his glasses aside to glare. “You know why I asked you here, Miguel. Don’t you?”

 

Miguel’s expression was serious. “No, boss. Do you need something?”

 

Gosha looked ready to bite someone as he stood up. “You’ve been keeping secrets from me.”

 

The big lion frowned more. His hands tightened at his side. “No, sir.”

 

The old reptile was pacing closer, tail like a massive weapon at his back. “No secrets?”

 

“No,” Miguel insisted.

 

Gosha growled, “None at all?” 

 

The huge lion felt like prey, being sized up for an attack. He said back, “None.”

 

Gosha reached a big, clawed hand up, slowly and purposefully, and squeezed the lion’s left shoulder. He was testing it. 

 

Miguel’s face tried not to wince.

 

The old reptile asked sternly, “Did the Madaragumi dislocate your shoulder in that fight, or just wrench it?”

 

Miguel rumbled to himself. “It’s just a flesh wound.”

 

Gosha complained, “Miguel, your physical health matters! As dangerous as this job is, you need to take care of yourself!”

 

Miguel was making a face somewhere between frowning and glaring. “I’m fine, sir. I can do my job.”

 

Gosha disagreed, “No, you’re not fine, and you’ll be even worse if you don’t take care of it. It’s not safe for you or the gang. Take the weekend off to ice it. On a scale of 1 to 10, how painful is it?”

 

Miguel grumbled, “I’ve had worse.”

 

The old man said his name like he was warning a child, “ Miguel …”

 

The huge cat huffed under his breath, “5…”

 

Gosha leaned in, “Is that a real 5, or is that just what you’re telling me?”

 

Miguel rumbled and didn’t answer. 

 

Gosha pulled out his cellphone. “I’m calling Gouhin.”

 

Miguel surrendered, “I’ll go see a real doctor. Is that fine, sir?”

 

Gosha grinned like an old family man in his victories. “There’s a good lad. Now send in Free. I need to talk to him about the way he treats women.”

Chapter 36: Naiveté

Summary:

Forces conspire against Legosi and Louis.

Walk carefully, Louis. You'll need those feet later.

Notes:

Comments keep me writing.

Legosi smelled something. 

 

It took him out of the game, for just a second - just long enough to take a basketball to the face. 

 

The ball rebounded, shook Legosi out of his distraction, but too late. 

 

A camel stole the ball, was running back to the other side of the court. 

 

An antelope was angry, yelling at him, “Come on, Demon! Play like a normal dog and don’t suck!”

 

A bird ran after the ball and joked in passing, “Sorry, Legosi! Please don’t kill us!”

 

Legosi almost laughed at that. It was nice getting back to a sense of normalcy.

 

If someone could get mad at him, and say it?

 

If someone could joke about getting killed?

 

That was a good thing, right? The initial shock and horror of the ‘Wolf Demon’ was finally going away. People were getting comfortable with him.

 

And that isn’t too bad at all.

 

Legosi sprinted after the other players.

 

Legosi could tell, the school’s attitude was changing along with the carnivores and herbivores. There was an ease, a casualness that he hadn’t felt in a very long time. It was too early to know if it’d stay that way, but Legosi wanted to hope that Louis’ message would have a lasting impact. 

 

Legosi always wanted to have a plain and simple life. He was getting closer to that every day, thanks to Haru and Louis.

 

While Legosi was taking out some garbage, his phone buzzed that he had a text message.

 

The wolf set one bag down, to double check who it was from.

 

Unknown number. It didn’t come with a name.

 

{Want me to break his legs?} 

 

Legosi felt his shoulders tighten, fists clenched. He turned around sharply, glaring at empty space, sniffing at the air again. He wasn’t imagining it. He really had smelled it before.

 

Legosi angrily texted them back, {No, I do not want you to break his legs! Who is this??}

 

Another few seconds, and the reply came, {Come on, it’ll be fun.~ I’ll get him to apologize, and you’ll never have to worry about him again.}

 

Legosi complained, {I already don’t have to worry about him! Go away and stop following me!}

 

The texter groaned, {Aww… you’re no fun anymore…}

 

The wind shifted, Legosi caught the scent, and turned straight towards a certain set of trees. 

 

Legosi glared at it, and texted, {Run.}

 

There was a sudden, distant shriek before feet were fleeing, leaving Legosi alone with his phone and bags of garbage on the ground.

 

Legosi huffed once, and got back to throwing away the trash.

 

A plain and simple life… I just want a plain and simple life… 

 

Legosi turned around again, when he thought he smelled a reptile. 

 

Legosi frowned. 

 

Is that … rattling?

…… 

Louis showed up late to dinner with Haru and Legosi. 

 

He had a letter in hand, and he looked tense. He looked tense all over. Something was seriously bothering him.

 

Haru had a big bite of the herbivore dinner still in her mouth, but she mumbled, “Hey, Louis!”

 

Legosi signed, [Did things go okay with the drama club?]

 

Louis set the letter down on the table in front of him. He said quick, “Club was fine. Perfectly ordinary. This,” he tapped the letter, “is not .”

 

Louis pushed it towards them. The envelope had an old-fashioned wax seal on it, some kind of ‘Y’ with an ornate design around it. 

 

Haru picked it up. Louis had already opened the top, so the rabbit took out the letter inside and started reading. “ Dear Louis, congratulations on your nomination as Cherryton’s first Beastar in five years. We are expecting great things from you. I would like to hear your thoughts about this town’s current state of affairs. This is a good opportunity for us to speak with each other in a private setting. I am inviting you to a personal dinner , et cetera et cetera…”

 

The rabbit frowned. “It’s a dinner invite. Says it’s a few weeks from now. What’s the big deal?”

 

Haru passed the letter to Legosi for his inspection. 

 

Louis leaned in, whispering, “The big deal is this is Yafya’s personal seal. The Yafya. The Manifested Guardian Deity, the Sublime Beastar himself? He’s inviting me to dinner . My father received a letter like this, once. Once! ”

 

Haru whistled. She asked, “Big S, Big B?”

 

Louis hissed, “Yes, the Big S!”

 

Legosi was casually eating his food, but offered, [Yeah, and he’s pretty tall, too.]

 

Louis and Haru both frowned. Louis asked, “Was that a joke?”

 

Legosi chewed his food. [No. He’s really tall. He’s even taller than grandpa.]

 

Louis felt like he was going to get whiplash. He signed rapidly, [You’ve seen him?! You’ve fucking seen the Sublime Beastar?!]

 

It was Legosi’s turn to frown. He signed slowly, [No… Grandpa just has a picture with him.]

 

Louis’ face was all twisted up in shock. [Why does your grandfather have a picture with the Sublime Beastar?!]

 

Legosi was chewing his food carefully now, and signed, [Cause he used to be Yafya’s partner?]

 

Louis’ eyes went so wide, he fell out of his chair.

 

Several others around the cafeteria were concerned now.

 

Haru was blinking. “Okay. I cannot be reading this conversation right.”

 

Louis scrambled back up into his seat. “I’m fine! I’m fine, I’m fine, everyone relax, I’m fine.” Louis puffed out a breath and tried to collect himself. “Legosi, please explain what you mean by ‘partner’. I want to make sure I understood you.”

 

Legosi was gradually showing his own confusion. [Like … military? But not official. I think they were vigilantes. Grandpa and Yafya used to fight a lot of bad people together. Yafya has a blindspot. Grandpa would protect it.]

 

Louis was firmly controlling his breathing. He didn’t want to seem too intense as he asked, “When was this?”

 

Legosi took another bite of food, and explained, [Before my mom was born?]

 

Louis was trying to crunch numbers in his head. He signed instead, [And you never brought it up?! Why did you never bring it up?! Your grandfather was working with an icon! The most important man in the country!?]

 

Legosi was just chewing. He swallowed. [Again, it was before my mom was born. But we still set a plate for him on Rexmas.]

 

Louis was clenching his teeth, [And does he show up!?]

 

Legosi signed, [No… Grandpa invites him, but we’re pretty sure Yafya is mad at him. Yafya wanted them to be Sublime Beastars together. But Grandpa fell in love. He wanted to be there, to raise my mom. That meant no more gang fights that could get him killed.]

 

Louis slapped both hands to his face then, and started rubbing his eyes.

 

Haru was still unsure if she was actually following this conversation accurately, but sensed enough tension that she didn’t want to interrupt. She asked eventually, “But… Louis, you’re a Beastar now. Seeing him eventually is a given, isn’t it?”

 

Louis whispered, “No, it’s not! Practically no one sees him! My father is one of the most powerful men in the city, and even he’s never been in the same room as him. Yafya’s different from the Sublime Beastars before him: he doesn’t make public appearances at all, or even press meetings. Some people think he died a long time ago, and his current activities are just some myth perpetuated by the police, a boogeyman to keep carnivores in line. He shows up when you don’t expect him, oftentimes in disguise, righting wrongs, and where he goes, carnivores disappear.”

 

Legosi didn’t understand. [Yeah… but you haven’t done anything wrong.]

 

Louis was still trying to keep quiet, “It’s the principle of the thing! This is either a very good sign or a very bad sign, and either outcome will affect the course of my life for decades!”

 

Haru pointed out, “Well, you’re not a carnivore, so that’s one less thing to worry about.”

 

Legosi offered, [Do you want us to go with you to the dinner?]

 

Louis whispered, “Absolutely not. The invitation is for me alone. Even if I wanted you two to come, I already checked the address listed in the letter: it’s for the Metropolitan Police Department. The only one getting through those doors is me.”

 

Haru wondered, “Well, do you have to go?”

 

“Yes!” Louis insisted quietly. “If I want any chance of being a Sublime Beastar, I can’t snub the one we have now!”

 

Legosi still looked confused. He signed slowly, [Louis, what is it you’d like us to do?]

 

Louis had to breathe on that for a moment. He rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. …I’m going. I know I have to go.”

 

Legosi started and stopped a sentence several times. Then he offered, [My therapist sometimes works with me on mental exercises. There’s one about… trying to imagine how good something could turn out. Our brains automatically think up bad endings. It’s a defense mechanism. So we try to think up the good ones to counterbalance those. What’s a good way this could end?]

 

Haru had to admit, “Yeah, Legosi, I’m only getting like half of the conversation today, sorry.”

 

Louis tried to repeat the last part for her quick, spoken aloud. Then he added, “But as for a good ending? …Shit, I don’t want to jinx it - but Cherryton has made a lot of Sublime Beastars in the past. There are a lot of other Beastars across the country, all training to help society, training to be the next Sublime Beastar - but if this dinner goes well… I could actually be in the running…”

 

Louis’ face was a mix of shock and awe and conflict.

 

Haru nodded to herself and her own imagination, “I’m sure it’ll go well. This is you we’re talking about. Dazzle him with your good looks. Don’t be afraid to suck up to him. Or suck him. Show off that ass. You’re the queen of ass.”

 

Legosi choked and had to hit his chest.

 

Louis wheezed, signed, [I am not going to sleep with the Sublime Beastar, Haru! That’s terrible!]

 

Haru complained in sign, [Oh, come on. Maybe he’s sexy. You’d sleep with Legosi.]

 

Louis hissed, “That’s an entirely different conversation and we are having neither right now!”

 

Haru teased, [I’m just saying, if Legosi was the Sublime Beastar, you’d sleep with him.]

 

Louis covered his eyes. “You are so not invited to the dinner.”

 

Haru sucked on her spoon, content with some evil scheme to lighten the mood.

…… 

A few weeks. He had a few weeks to prepare himself for the most important dinner of his life. 

 

Louis was not expecting to feel so small that night.

 

He put on his best suit, something Oguma likely paid for with an obscene amount of money. Oguma even had Louis picked up and driven to the location, with a few members of his security team to escort him inside from the car.

 

Louis thought it was unnecessary. They were heading to the Metropolitan Police Department. Louis had to be safe there, right?

 

Maybe if Louis was a minor, he’d have been allowed to bring someone in, but Louis was an adult in the eyes of the law. It was just going to be him tonight, dining with the Sublime.

 

A harlequin rabbit was manning the front desk, and alerted Yafya to Louis’ arrival, but that wasn’t so surprising. 

 

An army of mice forming a directional arrow on the ground? Yeah, Louis didn’t expect that.

 

The mice arrow pointed and led Louis to the elevator, and then they got on it with him.

 

The mice formed a little ladder of their bodies to hit the button for the 57th floor - the top floor. 

 

But there were more security systems to even open the elevator door onto that floor. One of the mice had to display his face to a facial recognition camera. It even scanned the mouse’s nose, and listened to that squeaky voice saying, “Yafya.”

 

There was a beeping noise as the system unlocked, opened the elevator door, putting Louis face-to-face with an absolutely enormous black-haired horse.

 

Legosi’s warning did not do him justice.

 

Louis was half of Legosi’s size. Yafya? Yafya was even bigger. Legosi might not have even come up to Yafya’s shoulders. He radiated the malice of a walking juggernaut.

 

Louis felt disquietingly petite, like a toddler. He made a point not to show it. 

 

Today was Confident Louis only. 

 

The long-limbed black horse just smiled down on him. His suit was immaculate, pristine, and his voice was sickly sweet, “I’ve been expecting you, Louis. Welcome.”

 

Louis felt like he was going to get swallowed up in that monster’s shadow.

 

Louis smiled back, and gave a courteous bow. “Thank you for having me. This is quite an honor.”

 

Then the mice ushered Louis out of the elevator - forcefully. They lifted Louis’ feet up, pushed him out of the elevator, and then they returned to the elevator just as fast. They closed the door behind them, leaving Louis alone with that massive herbivorous specimen.

 

Not for the first time, Louis had a bad feeling about this. He tried not to show it - and thanked his many years with the drama club. If there was one thing Louis could do, it was knowing how to act.

 

Yafya led him through a grand hall, with pillars, and statues of many different species. 

 

The huge horse started with a bit of small talk, “How did you get here, Louis?”

 

The red deer answered with equal ease, “My family has many vehicles and drivers. It was no problem procuring one of each for the night.”

 

The black horse nodded. “Hmm, well, thank you for the effort. I’m sorry for contacting you out of the blue, but after hearing all about you, well, I just had to speak with you myself.”

 

Louis replied, “Oh, think nothing of it. I’m sure an individual of your caliber has reasons for everything.”

 

Yafya turned back to him, a smile on his face - that Louis could tell was 100% forced.

 

One kick. Yafya could probably kill Louis with one kick, if the horse wanted to.

 

Yafya asked instead, “Did the staff on the bottom floor treat you well?”

 

“Perfectly well, thank you,” Louis returned.

 

Yafya had to provide his handprint and passcode to get them through another set of doors, stating, “Well, come in.”

 

Louis was not expecting to see a carrot farm that night either. 

 

Armored glass made up three sides of the room. It gave them a view of the city that was hard to compare. Louis could see skyscrapers every which way, trying to rival them, like they were standing at the top of society. Around all those windows were several rows of growing carrots, in gardening plots filled with earth and dirt. 

 

And in the center of the carrot farm, a dining table was perfectly prepared for two people. 

 

Louis might have said the place smelled like a garden, but Louis knew exactly what Haru’s garden smelled like. This one smelled a lot more … sterile. Scrubbed clean.

 

Yafya commented, “The clear sky makes it easier to see the whole city from here. Go ahead and make yourself comfortable.”

 

Yafya gestured to one seat, and Louis took it as directed. 

 

Louis said, “Thank you, sir. This is an exquisite choice of venue.”

 

Yafya clarified, “This room is my special parlor and food storage. I’ve decided to treat you to a full-course meal of my special carrots. A young man like you probably can’t see the appeal of it, but it’s good.”

 

Louis replied, “On the contrary, if you consider these carrots special, then they must be deserving of the label. I appreciate your consideration.”

 

As Yafya took his own seat across the dining table, some of the mice returned with plates of food. One of them attempted to describe it, “This is amuse bouche: seasoned potage with carottes rapees and cavolo nero sauce.”

 

Louis instinctively thought of Legosi, and all those foreign words. Louis didn’t know how to sign half of them. Louis realized that Legosi might not know how to sign half of them either.

 

Yafya began to eat the soup-like carrot mix with a large spoon. Louis mimicked his motions automatically.

 

‘Delicious’ was perhaps an understatement. If Louis hadn’t eaten with Oguma, he would have been unprepared for such a taste. Yafya clearly could afford the best as well.

 

Louis did wonder though, “If I may ask, what is it that makes them special? I have several friends in a garden club. I’m sure they’d love to hear about your methods.”

 

Yafya seemed amused by that. 

 

“Perfection,” he answered unhelpfully. “They’re grown at the perfect temperature and the perfect humidity. They’re given just the right amount of water for just the right amount of time.”

 

Louis murmured as he tried to process that. It sounded too vague, like it wasn’t a real answer. 

 

Yafya continued, “This room represents my ideals, in fact. I always strive for perfection, whether it’s my carrot farm, or society. For perfection, I would commit to any labor and sacrifice necessary. …That’s what I swore at a certain turning point in my life.”

 

Louis acknowledged, “A very high ideal. I imagine achieving that is no small task. You must have sacrificed much.”

 

Yafya leaned further back in his chair, and turned the spoon in the carrot soup. He recited off a list from his head: “A drug company that made soap out of camel humps… an organization that gave raw meat to carnivore athletes, for doping purposes… a few men who were trying to restart the livestock trade. I caught the last ones for you.”

 

Louis allowed himself a frown. “You caught them for me? I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

 

Yafya said casually, “Yes, you do. We both know your history, and yet you’ve risen from the black market, to sit at this table. That is not a feat accomplished with any ease. You’ve had to sacrifice much as well.”

 

So… it’s going to be like that.

 

Louis carefully deflected, “I would be negligent if I didn’t point out: I’ve had many people help me along the way. I didn’t buy my own way out of the market. That was Oguma. I relied on his generosity and the care of many professionals for many years.”

 

Yafya disagreed, “No amount of professionals can get you a seat in this room. You’re here because there’s a fire in you. You’re here because you’re made of something special. I honor that. And now, in your honor, the livestock trade has once more been … put in the ground.”

 

That feeling that something was wrong? It was getting stronger. Louis didn’t like the way Yafya phrased that. 

 

Louis still nodded, “I appreciate your efforts. I would not wish my childhood on anyone else.”

 

“Nor I,” Yafya agreed, before taking a longer drink of carrot juice. Yafya said more bitterly, “I captured them all only yesterday, yet they’ve already committed so much infamy.”

 

Louis frowned again, “Just yesterday? That’s a great deal accomplished in one day.”

 

Yafya nodded, and his face bared some darker emotion. He allowed himself to complain, “I’ve been doing this job for 26 years, Louis, all by myself. I’m already so old now. I need to hurry… I need to finish making a perfect society before my life runs out.”

 

Louis hesitated to ask, “What exactly does a perfect society mean to you?”

 

Yafya nearly glared, “Excuse me?”

 

Louis clarified, “A perfect society: what does that look like? How do you quantify that? In employment? School test scores? The stock market?”

 

The dark horse returned, “I have a better question, Louis: what does a perfect society look like to you ?”

 

Louis knew this was a test. He took a moment before answering, “Understanding. If we’re talking expressly about numerical values, I’m not sure if a perfect society is possible. But if people approached each other with a willingness to listen, a desire to understand one another, to understand each other’s difficulties and differences… I think society would benefit from that mindset. I think there are many things we can learn from each other. People keep so many secrets from each other, and I’m not sure that helps.”

 

Yafya cut into a new course of carrots with purpose and control. “You’re shockingly naive.”

 

Louis didn’t let the insult harm him.

 

Louis put on his actor’s mask and just smiled, “I’m sure I am. I, too, have much to learn. But I am working to change that. I’ll be going to university soon.”

 

Yafya picked up his glass of carrot juice, content in the complete security of his world. “It surprises me. My previous reports painted a different picture of you.”

 

Louis wondered, “You had reports about me?”

 

Yafya said, “My spies give me reports on all potential Beastars. Your name crossed my desk long ago.”

 

Louis replied, “Again, I’m honored.”

 

Yafya stated, “You shouldn’t be, not for that. I receive reports on thousands of individuals. The honor is that you’re here now. The honor is that villains have died for you. I don’t invite just anyone to a dinner of my special carrots. They require special nutrients, just like I do, to do this job. My carrots love their special nutrients. They really add to their taste, wouldn’t you say?”

 

‘Villains have died for you.’

 

The words echoed in Louis’ mind, like there was something else going on.

 

The red deer feigned interest in the next course of food, trying to be just like Yafya. He admitted, “I’m not sure I understand, sir. If I’m naive, why go to all the trouble for someone like me?”

 

Yafya leaned in closer, “Because… I think you have potential. You have real potential. And I hate to see potential wasted. My spies recorded that speech of yours, the one you gave to Cherryton. I wasn’t impressed. Your previous speeches were better. Did you really mean what you said before, about carnivores and hybrids?”

 

“Yes,” Louis said honestly. He refused to lie about that.

 

“Why?” Yafya asked.

 

Louis barely blinked. 

 

Yafya stated, “You think you understand carnivores? Because of your time growing up in the market? Because of your years in that drama club? Because of that wolf, the mute hybrid you’ve been translating for in class?”

 

Louis was on the defensive. 

 

Louis acknowledged, “I’ve had certain experiences that few others do. You seem to be aware of that already.”

 

Yafya glared, “You talked a lot about learning in that speech, but you haven’t learned anything yet. You don’t know what it’s like to be a carnivore. You haven’t seen every last one of them get hungry, but you will. Carnivores have a purpose, and as long as we use them for that purpose, they have some reason for being more than fertilizer…”

 

“…We can fit some into our society, and prune all the rest. They’re tools, with fangs, but don’t think for a moment you can be friends with them. Don’t think for a moment that your friendship with that wolf ends with rainbows and ice cream, because I spend every day fighting the carnivores from your nightmares, and putting them in the ground myself.”

 

*

 

‘I captured them just yesterday.’

 

‘Just yesterday,’ Yafya had said. 

 

‘Villains have died for you.’

 

‘Just yesterday.’

 

He captured them first, and he killed them on the same day, without trial.

 

More than ‘fertilizer’?

 

That was it. 

 

*

 

Louis tried not to give himself away. He waited for Yafya to look down. Louis’ eyes shifted, a fraction of a second - glanced again at the carrot farm that surrounded them, and wondered - feared - how many bodies could be buried in all that dirt?

 

How many corpses does it take to make nutrient-rich fertilizer?

 

How different would it make the carrot taste?

 

Louis looked to the carrots on his plate more closely, as if afraid to see blood.

 

Louis dared to ask, “You hate carnivores, don’t you?”

 

The huge horse leaned in, “I do, and you would, too, if you actually understood them - if you saw what goes on behind those eyes. There’s darkness in all of them, every last one. I thought you knew that. But someone’s been putting pretty lies in your head lately, and that offends me. So I’m going to give you a task.”

 

Louis looked amused, entertained. “What sort of task?”

 

Yafya went back to cutting his carrots, “Something to educate you. You sound like you’d enjoy that. You went to all the trouble of trying to save your mute friend, but you didn’t have to do anything. Legosi was saved by his grandfather, and he? Well, he’s a real monster. Gosha is a beast. He puts on nice clothes, he worked construction for years, but it took just one night for him to conquer two gumis. Imagine what he can do in a year. And you? You play interpreter… for his grandson.”

 

Louis didn’t comment. He was looking more interested.

 

Yafya stabbed several pieces of cut carrot at once, and lifted them up for his appraisal. “I’d think it was quaint, if their masquerade of civility wasn’t so insulting. So I want you to educate yourself. Use your proximity to Legosi. Learn what you can about his grandfather, and his operations. And then tell me what you’ve learned.”

 

Louis wondered, “Am I asking for anything in particular?”

 

Yafya sneered, “No, you’re not. This is a test. I give all the Beastars a test - all the ones who actually deserve the nomination. Use your intellect. Use your cunning. Approach this matter as only you would, like a Beastar would, because the Sublime Beastar is the architect of society. They are beholden to no one but the greater good…” 

 

“…When you’re the Sublime Beastar, you can be granted any wish of your choosing - any wish at all. So how you handle this matter will tell me exactly if you’re worthy of further consideration, if you could ever handle being my successor… or if all that potential is just that: potential…”

 

Yafya picked one piece of carrot off his fork, and tossed it into the dirt.

 

‘Any wish,’ like getting away with murder, like executing carnivores without a trial.

 

Louis chose his words carefully. He allowed himself a confident smirk.

 

His voice was controlled, almost pleased, “My relationship with Legosi is a unique commodity. You value that, and you’re the most powerful man in the country - and you can call me naive, but I’m not the type of child you can bullrush into bad decision-making. If you want information of actual merit, I’ll need to risk my life. I have quite a lot to look forward to, whether I become Sublime Beastar one day or not. So if I am to risk my life for something of worth, you need to offer something more tangible than casual praise.”

 

Yafya laughed once - looked at Louis to make sure it wasn’t a joke - then he laughed again because Louis was serious. “The balls on you, kid. That’s the Louis I read about. But Horns has all the money you could ask for, so it’ll take more than cash to get your cooperation. So how about something that you actually care about: your records in the black market? Your paperwork is still there, for people who know where to look…” 

 

“…I imagine that’d be inconvenient for a Sublime Beastar, to bare such weakness to the world - to know what kind of cell you grew up in, what you were raised for - what kind of mark is on your foot. But my spies can get their hands on that - all of that. I can make it go away, and when I present you to the world as my successor in training … you’ll be … unblemished. Is that … satisfactory?”

 

Louis was thinking it over. He munched purposefully on a carrot, chewing on sin, weighing what few options he actually had. He swallowed it as he thought.

 

He nodded slowly.

 

Louis stated, “You put all that in writing, in an official contract, and then? Then I’ll be satisfied.”

 

Yafya complained, “No one taught you the honor of a verbal agreement?”

 

The red deer smirked back, “No. Oguma taught me to get it in writing.”

 

Yafya chomped off a carrot. “My lawyers will talk to your lawyers.”

 

Louis purposefully chomped off a carrot of his own. “Then I look forward to our mutual satisfaction.”

 

So much for not living on stage.

Chapter 37: Stepping into darkness

Summary:

Louis needs answers, and a zoogle search won't cut it.

Notes:

Comments keep me writing. :)

It was late when Oguma’s driver got Louis back to Cherryton. Louis knew Haru and Legosi were probably still awake - and as big a deal as Louis made it out to be, Legosi had been getting more anxious by the day. They’d be waiting for his text message, to hear about how it went, and Louis knew it.

 

He had to say something.

 

If he said nothing, if he said the wrong thing, one of them would sense it, and he didn’t know if it was safe to tell them about the food, much less everything else. 

 

But even as he walked alone through the halls of the herbivore dorms, he didn’t have an answer. Things hadn’t gone the way he planned, or expected, and with each step in that hall, Louis felt further and further away from knowing what was right.

 

He needed a new plan.

 

He needed ideas. 

 

He needed a system.

 

He needed answers.

 

Louis closed the door to his room behind him, and sent them a text: {Sorry, guys. Dinner was fantastic, and Yafya let me try some special drinks. I think I need to sleep now.}

 

Legosi replied first, {What? No!! I’ve been on the edge of my seat all night! You have to tell me how it went!}

 

Louis got a tiny smile on his face.

 

Haru teased, {Hehehe… ‘Special drinks.’ Is that a code? Are we talking in code now? Did the flowers bloom for the roaming bee? Did the hanged man drink of sacred waters? Did Rex get his wings, or fossilize?}

 

Legosi typed, {Did what? A man was hanged? I have no idea what any of that means.}

 

Louis smiled more. {It means I’m tired, guys. That’s all. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow, but I promise I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow night.}

 

Legosi groaned in the only way he could: by writing it out. {Aggghh! This is so unfair!}

 

Louis could only imagine how Legosi looked in that moment - but the mental image was still adorable. {I’ll make it up to you, Lego. I promise. I’ll get you some sandwiches to snack on between classes.}

 

Legosi weakened. {You don’t have to do that. I’ll be fine… But I could go for some egg salad…}

 

Louis added, {I love you, Lego. Love you, Haru.}

 

Legosi replied, {I love you, too…}

 

Haru typed, {Sleep tight, Louis. Don’t let the carnivores bite.~}

 

It wasn’t carnivores he was worried about.

 

Louis returned, {Somehow, I think I’ll be okay on that front.}

 

Louis felt better after talking to them. 

…… 

Dizzy. 

 

Riz felt dizzy. 

 

Riz was trying to get his bearings in the hallway, to stay out of people's way. The side effects of his medication were getting to him, making it hard to focus, hard to even think. It was like a railroad spike through his forehead, and every pulse of blood felt like someone was hammering it through his skull.

 

He waited a moment just inside a door, eyes scrunched, out of the sunlight, trying to breathe, to get some fresh air, trying to get his mind off the pain driving through his skull. What a terrible time to run out of honey. He was supposed to be at drama club.

 

There was a tune in the back of his head. He grasped it like a lifeline, something to focus on besides the pain.

 

La.

 

La. La.

 

Mm-hmmm, you are my body… You are my blood… 

 

Riz managed a smile.

 

A good memory. Yes. It had to be a good memory. It had to.

 

That night with Tem? 

 

It was the best night ever.

 

Mm-hmmm. I’ll never forget, how you made me drool…

 

He drooled so much, that fateful night. It tasted so good. It tasted like he’d been starving, and finally, finally he got something to eat. It tasted like he’d been locked away and forgotten, and Tem set him free and he’d never be alone again.

 

Riz got his eyes open, and started looking around the hall. Everyone was leaving classes, or headed to clubs. Everyone was so completely ignorant of what was going on in the big bear’s brain, in his body.

 

He was so hungry. But nothing tasted good anymore. Not even honey.

 

I am surrounded by scrumptious delights…

 

Riz started walking, a giant among mortals, trying to control every breath in his lungs. A horse was walking one way, a flamingo the other. 

 

Several small herbivores were chatting to themselves, all innocent-like. They only gave him a glance, to make sure they were out of his way.

 

I am surrounded by flavorful bites…

 

Wait. No. 

 

That's… 

 

Louis the red deer finally came around one corner, and stopped right in front of Riz. 

 

Louis seemed pleased, saying, “Oh. There you are. We’ve been looking for you. …What were you doing?”

 

Late for club. He was late.

 

Riz tried not to show anything on his face, to hide all trace of emotion, save a smile that covered his eyes. He tried to lie, “I was just wrapping up some things, for a supplementary course. I hope I didn’t make you mad.”

 

Louis frowned more. “Mad? Why would I be mad at you?”

 

Riz felt his heart beating faster. He tried to keep the fake smile, tried to pretend everything was fine, tried to pretend he wasn’t thinking of getting his teeth on some of those herbivores. “Oh… I just…”

 

Louis shook his head casually. “Nevermind. No one’s mad - at least, not that I know of. But we should really get to the club now. We need to coordinate things for the next show.”

 

Riz managed to say, “That sounds good, Louis. I’ll be right behind you.”

 

Louis stood there for a moment, like there was something else on his mind. He hesitated just a few seconds more, then started walking to the drama club.

 

Riz breathed out more slowly as he followed. His eyes drifted down along the back of Louis’ head, along his shoulders and neck… Riz took in another slow breath through his nose, and caught the red deer’s scent.

 

Stop.

 

Louis smelled nice.

 

No, he doesn’t.

 

Riz’s mind started to wonder automatically: how would antlers taste? Alpaca didn’t have those. If he got his teeth on them, would they be chewy? Would they crunch in his mouth? Does the texture change much over the seasons? Is there a very best time of the year to swallow them up?

 

The red deer glanced back at one point, and wondered, “What are you smiling for?”

 

Riz grimaced and closed his eyes. “Nothing, Louis. Nothing.”

 

I am surrounded by scrumptious delights…

 

Stop.

 

Please… just stop.

…… 

Haru was giggling in the garden club. Louis heard that first as he opened the door to the roof. 

 

He almost didn’t want to interrupt (in case some kind of sexy times were actually happening for once), but he could just barely see Legosi fully-dressed and hunched over some flowers.

 

Legosi was excitedly pointing and signing something, tail wagging up a storm.

 

Louis thought he was being quiet, but Legosi still sensed him.

 

The wolf excitedly ran over. He gave the red deer a big hug, before tugging him along, [Come quick! Louis, come quick!]

 

Legosi’s good mood was infectious, and had Louis smiling right away. He let Legosi drag him to the flower box, “I’m coming, I’m coming!”

 

Legosi got down on his knees and pointed to a specific place: where a big beetle was walking along a stem.

 

Legosi’s tail was practically a fan blade, cutting through the air.

 

Louis laughed a little under his breath, “Quite a big one, isn’t it?”

 

Legosi nodded rapidly. [It’s a Hercules beetle! I don’t even know how it got here!]

 

Haru added, “I asked if Legosi wanted to keep it, but he said nah.”

 

Legosi shook his head at them both, still smiling. [I don’t know. It doesn’t look sick or hurt. It’s weird seeing it here, but it’s still really cool. Maybe it was someone’s pet.]

 

Louis’ anxiety was slowly melting away into comfort, into satisfaction. He reached out once, to rub Legosi’s back.

 

Legosi smiled back at him.

 

Legosi started signing more to Haru, and she was trying to repeat a few signs back. Her sign language lessons were getting more complex the more time they spent together.

 

Louis waited a bit longer before finally speaking up. “Hey… Legosi?”

 

The wolf looked at him, still happy. [What is it?]

 

Louis was still hesitant. “I need to ask a big favor. Do you mind going with me someplace after dinner?”

 

Legosi grinned. [Do you need help carrying something heavy?]

 

Louis laughed softly. “Only in a manner of speaking…”

……

Legosi wasn’t so happy that they were riding a taxi to the back alley market. Louis gave the driver an address close to where they wanted to go, to a place that sounded respectable enough.

 

Louis didn’t want his dad to know about this. 

 

Legosi kept his sword underneath a blanket for hiding, across his lap. He wanted to bring it along, just to be safe. The wolf signed small, [This doesn't feel like a good idea…]

 

Louis signed back, [I know, but I need to speak with him in person.]

 

Legosi grimaced, [I could just talk to him for you…]

 

Louis shook his head. [It has to be me, Legosi.]

 

Legosi swallowed hard and looked down.

 

Louis reached over, and lifted up the wolf’s chin. “Legosi … do you trust me?”

 

Only a moment passed, before Legosi slowly nodded his head. 

 

Louis tried to look firm in this decision. “I just need you to get me in the room with him.”

 

It would have been impossible for most everyone else. Gosha was a gumi mob boss now. He had enemies. 

 

But the taxi dropped them a short distance away, at a nondescript restaurant. They’d walk the final distance. 

 

They were barely even in the back alleys before a bass voice above yelled, “Boss!! What are you doing here??”

 

Legosi slapped his free hand over his eyes.

 

An unusually pretty lion suddenly jumped down from a fire escape, wearing the customary mafia black suit. The lion was looking all over, “Where are the other guys? You should have protection.”

 

A second lion - Miguel - slid down the ladder after the first. He had bundles of rope over his shoulder, and he warned them, “Gosha’s going to be pissed if you go through the market alone.” 

 

Louis looked amused over the whole exchange, and asked Legosi, [Friends of yours?]

 

[Stalkers,] Legosi complained. [But I told them to stop following me.]

 

Louis frowned more seriously. [Since when do you have stalkers?]

 

Legosi signed grumpily, [Gosha’s been having some of them follow me, for my protection. The big one’s Miguel, the pretty one is Hino.]

 

Louis insisted, [Why didn’t you tell me they were following you?]

 

Legosi huffed, [Because they’re not supposed to! I told them that before! I don’t want gangsters hanging around me at Cherryton. I don’t want gangsters around me at all! Can you please tell them that?]

 

Miguel and Hino both looked like they were trying to follow the signs, but it was clear they didn’t know the language. 

 

Louis finally spoke up, “Legosi says he doesn’t want stalkers. You guys aren’t supposed to be following him.”

 

Hino replied calmly, “Yeah, you can say that, but if Gosha wants you protected, you’re getting protected - whether you want someone watching your back or not.”

 

Legosi complained, [What are you two doing out here anyway?]

 

Louis helped interpret that.

 

Miguel said flatly, “Patrolling the outskirts.”

 

Hino gave a slight flick of his mane. “It’s just part of what we do now. Gosha didn’t tell you?”

 

Legosi signed, [Gosha doesn’t tell me everything.] 

 

Louis spoke that, then added, “But we need to talk to him in person.”

 

Miguel gestured for the two young men to follow, “Gosha will have our hides if we don’t escort you. Hino, make the call to Gouhin.”

 

Legosi asked, [The doctor? Why are you calling the doctor?]

 

Hino was already on the phone, mentioning the deviance in their patrol route.

 

Miguel answered like it was obvious, “Because we patrol for the bear? We bring in mad carnivores, and protect the unwary.”

 

Louis was more suspicious of that. “He actually trusts you lot?”

 

Miguel grumbled, “The bear pays us for doing it well, he fires us if we screw up, and he doesn’t let any of us operate away from him if we haven’t proved ourselves first. But Gosha would kill us if we abused the position, and he’s scarier than the bear.”

 

Hino turned off his phone and said more brightly, “It would be more accurate to say the doctor trusts some of us, not the ‘lot’ of us. He took one look at Free, and laughed.”

 

Miguel nodded sagely, “Smart man. A very intelligent bear. I too look at Free and laugh.”

 

Hino joked, “He’s a great fighter, but no one should trust Free with the important stuff.”

 

They turned a corner and ran into Ibuki and Free, who very clearly overheard that.

 

Ibuki was silent, sighing into a hand. 

 

Free’s eyes were misting up. “I’m trying, guys! I’m trying! Being respectable is really hard!!”

 

Louis snorted a laugh.

……

It was a strange world, crossing the threshold of the Shishigumi. Ibuki stayed to guide them inside. Almost two months ago, Louis was ready to go in with a security squad and shoot up every last cat in the walls.

 

And now Louis and Legosi were walking through the lion’s base, and people kept saying hi, greetings, politely welcoming back the boss’ grandson (who had himself taken a sword and personally sliced through their numbers).

 

Strange new world.

 

Legosi gripped Louis’ shoulder at one point, and didn’t let go.

 

The red deer glanced at him, saw the crinkling of the wolf’s nose, the lowering of his ears…

 

Louis signed quick, [Are you okay?]

 

The wolf’s body tightened. He signed back, [Fine.]

 

Louis stopped walking. He asked again, more firmly. [Legosi … are you okay?]

 

The wolf was glancing aside, anxious and uncomfortable. It was harder to lie the second time. […No…] 

 

Ibuki turned around to them, “Is there a problem?”

 

Louis glanced at the lion and wolf, and then at a young lion walking by.

 

Louis snapped, “You. Legosi needs to see the stars. Take him to an open window.”

 

The young lion was blinking at them, confused, “Wait, what? The stars?”

 

Louis yelled, “Did I stutter!? Take him to a window!”

 

The lion snapped to attention, “Uh, yes, sir! Um. Right this way, Legosi, sir.”

 

The wolf was looking at him in confusion. [Louis, what are you doing?]

 

Louis signed back, [I’m fine. Go catch your breath. It’s probably better if I talk to Gosha by myself anyway.]

 

Legosi was trying and failing to look strong. [I don’t like this, Louis.]

 

Louis repeated the question from before. [Do you trust me?]

 

Legosi swallowed harder. [This doesn’t feel right.]

 

Louis moved closer. [Legosi … do you trust me?]

 

The awkward wolf squeezed tighter to his sword. [I trust you…]

 

Louis grinned with that impossible confidence of his. [Go catch your breath. You can follow me in a bit.]

 

Legosi nodded once more.

 

The one confused lion led Legosi away, and Ibuki continued on with Louis.

 

Ibuki asked quietly, “What was that about?”

 

Louis answered, “Secret gang business.”

 

Ibuki waited a bit longer. He didn’t turn around to say, “That’s an interesting way to say ‘panic attack.’ I should use that some time.”

 

Louis glared at the back of Ibuki’s head.

 

It wasn’t much further to Gosha’s upper offices.

 

Ibuki knocked, waited for verbal permission, then entered with Louis.

 

Gosha frowned at seeing just the red deer. “Where’s Legosi?”

 

Louis said, “He needed some air,” even as he signed, [Panic attack. Do I have any bugs on me?]

 

Gosha’s eyes hardened. “…A long way to come for some air.” He signed, [What kind of bugs?]

 

Louis stated, “We were hoping to ask you a few things for class.” [The kind Yafya would sneak on my person.] 

 

Louis pointed at Ibuki, “You could text him if you’re worried.”

 

Louis held up his own phone, which he had cut off earlier that day.

 

Gosha nodded slowly. “I suppose I should.”

 

A few more moments of subterfuge, and Gosha had texted Ibuki. 

 

Louis didn’t turn to look at the cat behind him. He stayed where he was, standing, talking to Gosha about their history class.

 

Ibuki used some kind of electronic wand to check the red deer, but it didn’t pick up anything.

 

Gosha said soon enough, “You’re clear, kid. Now what was that about?”

 

Louis gave a slight bow. “My apologies. I wasn’t sure how much I could actually trust Yafya.”

 

Gosha laughed, “You and me both, kid. Still doesn’t answer why you’d want to come back here.”

 

Louis looked again at Ibuki, and then at Gosha. “Yafya invited me to a special dinner with him. He wanted to speak with me, Sublime Beastar to Beastar.”

 

Gosha nodded once. “Legosi mentioned your accomplishment. Congratulations are in order. And you think Yafya would have bugged you then?”

 

Louis stated, “I don’t know. I wouldn’t put it past him. He had many small animals attending him. But I thought I should double-check with you before actually speaking further.”

 

Gosha wondered, “He asked you to spy on Legosi, did he? On me?”

 

Louis returned, “You don’t sound surprised.”

 

The old komodo nodded, “I know Yaf pretty well. I’d like to think he wouldn’t do that. But I know he would. He always valued information gathering before a strike. You’re taking a big risk coming here, if he talked to you about that.”

 

Louis smirked, “Yafya’s information is incomplete. He thought Legosi and I were merely friends. He thought he could sway me against Legosi, and against you. I would find it laughable - if the man wasn’t so full of malice. However… Yafya did say one thing that mattered.”

 

Gosha took a slow drink from his tea. “Is this the part where you ask me for money?”

 

Louis scoffed, “Oh please, my father has more money than we can spend, and he’s constantly making donations. No. Now is the part where I ask you a question.”

 

The red deer took a slight breath to steady himself. He shifted his weight further onto his right foot. “Yafya talks about carnivores like they’re all tainted by darkness. He says they’re tools to be used at best, and fertilizer at worst. I beg to differ. But he challenged me. He asked me how much I really know about carnivores, about what it’s like to be one and the kinds of things they have to go through…”

 

“…He said I’m naive, that I don’t know anything about carnivores. And it occurred to me … he might be right: I don’t know what it’s like to be carnivore . And that’s a problem. Our society keeps carnivores perpetually at an arm’s length or further. I don’t want to live like that anymore. I didn’t leave a cage to put someone else into it. You are Legosi’s grandfather, his family, and now the leader of two gumis. You are uniquely qualified in this matter.”

 

Gosha was starting to grin as he put the pieces together. “Ask your question, Beastar.”

 

Louis’ eyes tightened. “What can you tell me about the darkness of being carnivore?”

Notes:

Just gonna add this in here cause some readers didn’t remember this, but Riz having this problem was totally canon.

 

Chapter 38: To choose compassion

Summary:

Hey all! So, real talk for a minute: Signs has always been about mental health. This is a big mental health chapter for the season, so I’m prefacing this chapter with two things.

First, we all know second-season Legosi magically overcomes his meat hunger in canon. But, no one in-universe knows that yet (Gouhin expressly said he’s the only person who ever has), and I’ve tried to be pretty close to certain elements of canon in this fic.

An obligate carnivore can’t survive forever without meat.

Second, addiction and meat withdrawal are both things characters talk about in canon.

So, as someone who actually works in mental health, I’m going to expound on that. I’m going to talk a lot about the brain and addiction today, and how it applies to all of us, and Riz, and Legosi.

You probably shouldn’t read this if you’re too tired, cause this is an educational chapter.

TLDR: not everyone develops an addiction, but anyone - human or herbivore or carnivore - can become addicted to something. We are all vulnerable to something.

We are all more vulnerable than we think.

And we’ll return to our usual Ot3 / SSG shenanigans next time.

Thank you.

“What can you tell me about the darkness of being carnivore?”

 

It was an easy question for Louis to ask. The answer? The answer was much harder.

 

Gosha made a call. “Gouhin. Yeah. Are you still downstairs? I need a half hour of your time.”

 

A short while later, the grumbling panda bear was winding his way into Gosha’s office.

 

Gosha and Louis were sitting across from each other. 

 

The komodo had offered Louis some tea, for Louis to have something to drink while they waited.

 

Ibuki went downstairs, went elsewhere to check on Legosi and see if the wolf would need any assistance.

 

Gosha was grinning at the grumpy bear. He said all friendly-like, “Hey, Gouhin! The kid wants to know about the darkness of being carnivore.”

 

The panda stared. 

 

He turned and started walking away.

 

Gosha laughed, “Oh, come on! You’re not a carnivore, and you’re a doctor. You can give the kid a medical answer.”

 

Gouhin pointed at the red deer, “To. A. Kid.” Then he added more sharply, “An herbivore kid! What is he even doing here??”

 

Louis stated flatly, “I’m a Beastar, thank you. My age is irrelevant; I’m supposed to be a leader of carnivores. I want to know how to do that right. The government raises us on half truths and pretty lies so we all tolerate each other at arm's length, but that’s not working. That’s not enough. I need to know the truth. If I’m to be of any real help to carnivores, I need to know what it’s really like for carnivores.”

 

The panda bear growled at Louis, “First off, carnivores are not dark! They’re no darker than you or me or any other herbivore! They have biological needs, but society has everything so twisted that it equates their biological needs with evil!”

 

Louis put his hands up, surrendering, “I didn’t mean it like that. But that’s the way Yafya was talking about it. He kept saying there were things I didn’t know about carnivores, what they have to deal with.”

 

Gosha said more sincerely, “I know what I would tell him. I know where I would start. But you are the doctor, and it wouldn’t hurt me to hear your perspective either.”

 

Gouhin snapped, “10%.”

 

Gosha frowned. “Your pay?”

 

“No,” Gouhin clarified grumpily. “If you want the truth, no secrets and pretty lies, that’s where I would start. 10%. That’s the population of carnivores who can effectively manage their entire lives without a single bite of meat. Just 10%, at best. In practice, it’s closer to 2 or 3%.”

 

Louis stated, “That can’t be right. Meat is illegal.”

 

Gouhin growled, “And you said that system is working out so well for people, is it?”

 

Louis accepted the metaphorical blow to his gut. “No. It’s not, clearly. There are devourings every week, and even more missing persons. But 10%? That’s… Carnivores number in the hundreds of thousands. Sure, they’re a small minority, but people would be saying something about the law.”

 

Gosha said flatly, “They have. It’s just never been enough to affect political change. …The politicians in our country rarely make laws out of benevolence. Many laws are written and passed on the basis of emotions alone - and emotions can lie. Emotions can be manipulated. The overwhelming majority of politicians and business owners are herbivores… so our governments legislate from an expressly herbivore perspective.”

 

Louis asked, “What about the medical community?”

 

Gouhin glared, “I am the medical community. They do know, and many of them are trying to do something about it. Almost all of the meat on the black market comes from hospitals and funeral homes. That couldn’t happen if people didn’t recognize a carnivore’s medical, biological need for meat. They are risking the laws to help carnivores anyway.” 

 

Louis still looked confused. “But they’d say something. Shouldn’t they be saying something?”

 

Gouhin said, “We’ve tried! And we keep trying, but, shit! Even talking about it is a great way to get fired by the herbivores who pay your salary! It’s why I needed my own clinic. There’s a disconnect between business owners and medical professionals…”

 

“…Most of my funding comes from other doctors, who can’t afford to do more about it themselves. But if you want to understand how hard it is for carnivores, then you need to answer two questions first: what is an instinct, and what is an addiction?”

 

Louis repressed the urge to laugh. He didn’t know why that sounded funny. “I’d look it up on the internet, but I don’t know if Yafya’s tracking my phone.”

 

Gouhin growled, “I’m serious. Don’t waste my time and I won’t waste yours. You want to help carnivores, you need to answer those first.”

 

Louis took just a moment to consider his phrasing. “An instinct is a holdover in our brain. It’s a vestige of a more dangerous time, when we had to rely on more automatic decision-making. An addiction is a chemical dependency. The chemical affects your biology and can make you behave in ways you normally wouldn’t.”

 

Gouhin nodded along. He was even then about to take out a cigarette and was close to lighting up, before Gosha suddenly flicked poison at the burnable tip.

 

The bear glared again at Gosha, and then at Louis. “Half true - and a better answer than most kids your age. You get partial credit.” 

 

Gouhin flicked the ruined cigarette away into the garbage can. He complained, “An instinct is an automatic program in your brain’s operating system. You’ve probably heard people say that the brain is like a computer, and just like a computer, it's built on programs. You’re right, we needed instincts to function, and we still depend on many…”

 

“…We breathe automatically. We have a drive to drink, to eat, to enjoy ourselves. Most of us have an instinct to find a partner and have sex. We have instincts regarding danger, fight or flight. We have a whole lot more instincts than we realize or talk about, but oftentimes, they’re small enough we don’t notice them. They’re minor enough that we can control them, or ignore them.”

 

Louis remembered, “My girlfriend, Haru, talked about that once. Her instincts used to make her more skittish around big carnivores. But she hasn’t felt that way since spending more time around Legosi.”

 

Gouhin nodded like that was normal. He explained, “The brain doesn’t always know how to make sense of our instincts, or our feelings. Most people don’t realize it, but we have instincts regarding our diet as well - the food we need. There are times when the body realizes it is lacking something, a chemical or nutrient, and we get a craving. Sometimes we don’t even understand what the craving is for.”

 

Louis commented, “I’ve heard of something like that in pregnancy. There are a lot of stories like that, a woman wakes up in the middle of the night, wanting something weird to eat - something she just has to have. You’re saying it's like that for carnivores?”

 

Gouhin nodded firmly. “For carnivores of any gender, their body knows they need meat. Carnivores need meat and they have an instinct to eat meat, whether people want to admit that or not. It’s part of the hard-wiring of their brain, their biology. It’s how their digestive system evolved. So eating or not eating meat will absolutely affect the health of a carnivore.”

 

Louis stared a little more suspiciously. “Define ‘affect the health.’ Yafya was talking about an organization that gave meat to athletes. He said it was for doping purposes.”

 

Gouhin snorted. “It’s doping in the same way that a high-calorie vegetable is doping. Adult carnivores need the specific proteins and chemicals found in meat to be healthy, to heal after a traumatic incident. They need it to get stronger, to have a good immune system…”

 

“…Without it, they’re living perpetually malnourished. This is an oversimplification, but herbivores digest plant matter in a way that most carnivores can’t. In the same way, carnivores can digest meat and herbivores can’t…”

 

“…It’s just their biology, and they can’t change that. And then you get some species which are technically omnivores, but no one talks about those. No one chooses to be born carnivore. It’s the dice roll of life. I’m a panda that doesn’t need meat and that is only by chance .”

 

Louis was still frowning heavily. “But what about Legosi? Legosi doesn’t eat meat and he’s still incredibly strong. Yeah, Legosi looks a bit lean, but he doesn’t look like he’s starving, or even malnourished.”

 

Gosha shifted uncomfortably. He looked away.

 

Gouhin asked the deer, “How much does he eat?”

 

Louis had a whole lot of memories of Legosi’s insatiable hunger, of all his sandwiches between classes, of multiple bowls of rice at every meal in the cafeteria. 

 

Louis admitted, “Legosi eats … a lot. Legosi’s always eaten a lot, as long as I’ve known him. He snacks all the time. …But you knew that, didn’t you?”

 

Gouhin stated, “As an herbivore, no matter how much meat you’d eat, if meat was all you had? You’d get sick. You’d starve. Your body wouldn’t be able to get the right nutrients, or easily absorb what little it can. Your digestive system isn’t designed for it…”

 

“…Legosi is a large-breed carnivore. His body is incredibly well-muscled for his age, but that’s a function of excessive time and intense training. He can eat as much as he wants, but if he’s not getting meat, his body is still scraping by on a poor diet.” 

 

Louis was trying to connect those two ideas in his head. “So, what, if Legosi actually ate meat, he’d be even stronger? He’s already the strongest wolf I’ve ever met.”

 

Gouhin pointed at the komodo in the room, “But Legosi isn’t just a wolf. He’s a hybrid, so his body shape will be different.”

 

The wolf-bear, Theodore, certainly had a different body shape compared to most wolves… 

 

Louis still felt weird and uncomfortable, but when he glanced at Gosha, the giant reptile must have felt the same. Gosha was still looking aside.

 

Was that guilt?

 

Louis dared to ask, “So, if Legosi was to get the proper nutrition… what would that look like?”

 

Gouhin made a few calculations in his head. He started to reach for another cigarette, then stopped himself. 

 

The bear sighed, “Most carnivores are able to manage with a big meat meal once a month, or a few smaller ones spread out. Carnivores with higher physical requirements - like soldiers, athletes, construction workers - they need a lot more just to keep a healthy baseline…” 

 

“…Legosi, considering how much he’d need to train for that body, probably needs a few meat meals a week. Probably. I'm not his doctor. A normal doctor could get fired for even suggesting that. A lot of gangsters in the back alley eat meat for almost every meal, but honestly? That’s excessive, and wasteful.”

 

Gosha interrupted then, “The Shishigumi need to quit smoking. I’m not saving their lives so they can all die of lung cancer in ten years. It’s hard enough breaking one habit.”

 

Gouhin countered, “That's not what I meant! Yes, it can take months to break some habits! Weeks, if we’re lucky! And breaking any addiction hurts! I wouldn’t even bother with my own smoking if it wasn’t because of you!”

 

Gosha complained, “Well, I don’t want you dying of cancer either. You’re more important than anybody realizes.”

 

Gouhin insisted, “That’s not the point either! Your cats have a sufficient diet, but I don’t know about Legosi! Legosi has an insignificantly small chance of being a carnivore that doesn’t need meat. In all likelihood, he has to eat twice as much for it to go half as far. He should have started eating meat years ago!”

 

Louis got the sensation that the two of them had been arguing about some of that before. He tried to redirect them, “So if all carnivores need to eat meat, if they’re subsisting without it like you say … why aren’t there more devourings? Or, why do only adults commit devourings?”

 

Gouhin sighed once, “Because almost all carnivores use the market. And like other instincts, there are a number of factors that can magnify or diminish a craving for meat. Some depressants will do it, but using them that way long term is physically unsafe. A carnivore drunk on alcohol - for a few hours - won’t feel the need or hunger the way they normally would…” 

 

“…And you’re right, most devourings are committed by adults. That’s because age is another major factor. Before puberty, carnivores have little to no urge for meat. I can’t prove this, but I think that’s a defense mechanism…”

 

“…because you have to remember: carnivore or herbivore, we developed instincts for a reason. Most seven-year-old carnivores would not be physically ready to fight for their own food. No drive for meat means they can grow up safer.” 

 

Louis seemed to realize, “And then puberty comes along…”

 

The bear nodded gruffly. “Puberty comes along and acts as an atomic bomb for our instincts. Our bodies flood with new chemicals, hormones change our brains and bodies. It’s when we start having sexual feelings and urges, and for carnivores it’s when they start having an urge for meat, too. Carnivores and herbivores alike have to start managing new instincts during puberty, which makes high school - in a word - suck .”

 

Louis laughed once at that. 

 

Gouhin glared at him again.

 

Louis cleared his throat, “Sorry. Apologies. I wasn’t expecting that.”

 

Gosha murmured, “You might be preaching to the choir, Gouhin.”

 

The bear huffed and might have rolled his eyes, but Louis couldn’t tell.

 

Gouhin just continued, “But in the same way that things can decrease our instincts, there are also other things that can magnify them. Certain chemicals or foods - like coffee, especially kopi luwak - can do that for meat. Not every carnivore knows that. Summer can do it, too. There’s something about that season that affects our instincts…”

 

“…but there’s a whole host of psychological factors, too. Social stressors in school or work, being bullied, repression, self-hatred or guilt - things of that nature can cause our instincts to build up power, to a point of disaster. Many carnivores that commit devourings just had an accident: something happened… and they broke inside.”

 

Yeah, Louis didn’t think that part was funny. 

 

Louis stared harder at him, “We are literally in the home of gangsters who were going to eat Haru and Legosi. A kidnapping is not an ‘accident.’”

 

Gouhin raised his voice, “I didn’t say it was! There are terrible carnivores who lack empathy and give in to their worst impulses. I shouldn’t have to tell you that’s shitty! What I am saying is that almost all modern-day carnivores don’t want to commit a devouring. They didn’t choose to be born carnivore! They didn’t choose to be born with a need for meat, but navigating that alone is like walking through a minefield !!”

 

Louis was about to open his mouth, about to argue, but he stopped himself. 

 

He took a deeper breath.

 

It was a weird thought, but keeping his focus on Legosi was helping Louis give other carnivores the benefit of the doubt. 

 

Louis started, “So… if we’re talking about Legosi… I’m pretty sure Legosi didn’t develop a hunger for meat. Even smelling blood can upset him. He started getting upset just being here.” 

 

Louis didn’t want to admit he felt guilty about that. If Legosi had a panic attack, it was Louis’ fault for bringing him here.

 

Louis clarified, “So what does that mean for him? Is he okay, the way he is now?”

 

Gouhin paced a bit and ran his hand through the fur on his head. “I can’t answer if he’s okay. I don’t know if he’s malnourished or not. He’s not my patient. This is not a diagnosis. But if I had to guess, it is likely that Legosi’s normal instincts have been overridden by a trauma response.”

 

Louis worried, “Will they stay that way?”

 

Gouhin grumbled, “I don’t know. I can’t answer that. But if he’s meat averse after being hurt so bad, I’m not surprised. Even without his trauma, Legosi is an anomaly. Mammal-reptile hybrids are practically unheard of. Trauma is no guarantee to have that result, and even if it was, few people would say we should traumatize all carnivores to the point of being meat phobic.”

 

Louis had a bad feeling that Yafya would if he knew.

 

Gouhin acknowledged, “There are some carnivores who, perhaps through genetic or medical factors, don’t develop a hunger for meat. But that’s an exception, not the rule - 5% - and we can’t replicate it. I’m not sure if we even should if we could, because again, the carnivore’s biology is designed for eating meat…”

 

“…It’s how they evolved. It’s how they were born. You can’t blame them for that. But few carnivores want to hurt other people. They don’t. Their bodies crave meat, their bodies need meat, but almost all of them do care about other people.”

 

Gouhin stopped himself, then asked, “Have you heard of Harm Reduction?”

 

Louis’ head tilted at the sudden shift. “I feel like I’ve heard the term before, but I don’t remember it offhand.”

 

Gouhin paced a little more. “Harm Reduction looks at systemic issues - at cases of great public health concerns - and tries to find a way to minimize the problem. It’s based on the notion that you will likely never be able to stop all the bad things that are happening…”

 

“…but if you can stop some? Then stop some. A little evil is more acceptable than the greatest evil. You reduce as much harm as you can, however you can, to save lives.”

 

Louis stated, “That… sounds logical. I’m assuming you’re bringing it up because it applies to this situation.”

 

Gouhin complained, “It’s logical, but there’s still pushback against it all the time, because sometimes harm reduction means giving people things for free. Some people get pissed off at that. They hate giving away anything for free, but sometimes the only way to stop a plague is to give people free stuff.”

 

Louis frowned, “I’d say that’s what we have vaccines for… but I’m certainly aware that we can’t cure everything. Sometimes the best thing we can do is prevent it, correct?”

 

Gouhin nodded sharply, approvingly. “If there’s a virus running rampant through society, even if you can’t cure the virus, you can slow the spread. If the virus is being accelerated by people reusing and sharing needles? Then giving them a clean needle can interrupt the transmission and slow the spread. If the virus is being accelerated by people having sex? Then giving them condoms can interrupt the transmission and slow the spread.” 

 

Louis realized, added, “You wear a mask to slow down the flu. You can’t stop every last person from having sex or doing drugs…”

 

Gouhin finished, “But you can do a little to slow down the spread. That will save lives, especially the people who get infected in other ways: like from an accidental cut, being close to a sick coworker or family member, a parent who got sick while pregnant…”

 

“…However you feel about an addict, if you help an addict today, you could save a kid with a compromised immune system tomorrow. You could save someone’s sick grandma from the straw that breaks their back…”

 

“…Being a doctor is as much about keeping people from getting sick as helping them when they are. But me? I want to help the addict, too. The addict deserves to live, too. They didn’t choose to be addicts. They’re sick. We can help them heal, too.”

 

Louis wondered, “Is that why you were asking about addiction earlier? You’re comparing a carnivore’s hunger for meat to what, your own desire for a cigarette?”

 

The panda bear started growling.

 

Gosha spoke up, “Gouhin, please.”

 

Gouhin complained, “No, I brought up addiction because some carnivores can become addicted to meat. If you want to know about carnivore hardships, you need to know that, too. You said addiction is about chemicals, and you’re right. But ask yourself this: what chemicals?”

 

Louis was frowning again. “I believe it's nicotine in cigarettes. Cocaine, meth, they’re all addictive, too.”

 

Gouhin stressed that word, “They are ‘ addictive .’ But all addiction goes way deeper than that. Addiction starts ‘here.’” 

 

The bear pointed at Louis’ head. 

 

Gouhin explained, “It’s the reward system of your brain. Doesn’t matter if you’re carnivore or herbivore. When your brain experiences something that it thinks is ‘beneficial,’ it automatically releases certain chemicals that make you feel good…” 

 

“…Maybe you had a delicious snack. Maybe someone said something nice to you, or even gave you a nice pat on the back. Maybe you just got a reward in a video game, or you experienced adrenaline, or orgasm…”

 

“…The reward system in your brain is an extremely complicated system of good and bad values. Some of those values are instincts. But those feel-good chemicals reinforce your actions and behaviors. Those chemicals encourage you to keep doing X, or to keep eating Y…”

 

“…In a very real way, the reward system in your brain? It can change your brain. Drugs, cigarettes, they take advantage and warp the brain’s chemistry. But why do some people become ‘addicts,’ while others can use a drug experimentally and then move on?”

 

Louis started to open his mouth. 

 

But Gouhin cut him off to say, “Vulnerability. It's just a person’s vulnerability. Different people are vulnerable to different things, and you may not find out what you are vulnerable to until it’s too late . Herbivores and carnivores, we all have the chance of becoming addicts, every last one of us. It’s just chance…”

 

“…And everyone is vulnerable to something. Some people are more genetically or mentally vulnerable to a certain chemical or experience. Sometimes significant trauma or illness can also make you vulnerable - including mental health illnesses like anxiety, depression, PTSD.”

 

Louis added, “Like how alcoholism can run in families - herbivore or carnivore families.”

 

Gouhin spoke louder, “Yes! Most adults drink alcohol, but only some people become alcoholics. Some families are genetically predisposed to alcoholism, in the same way that other families are predisposed to allergies, cancers, diabetes. Vulnerability can run in your genetics …”

 

“…And yes, some chemicals are much more addictive than others, but people can become addicted to any feel-good experience. Carnivores and herbivores alike can become addicted to the internet, to video games, to spicy food, to sex, to gambling, adrenaline. There’s no nicotine in those. Fuck, soda can be addictive. Salt can be addictive!”

 

Louis leaned in, “And I suppose some carnivores can become addicted to meat?”

 

Gouhin wasn’t sure if that was sarcasm, but he agreed flatly, “Yes, they can. …If you spent years malnourished and underfed, subsisting on bread and water, and you finally got your first bite of real food…”

 

“…Gourmet birthday cake? The reward system of your brain … is going to freak out . It will not have a clue how to process it. That’s how it is for some young carnivores after their first taste of meat - and their whole body suffers for it. It can trigger symptoms of withdrawal.”

 

Louis didn’t want to comment that he knew exactly how that felt. He remembered the gnawing pain in his stomach, of being barely fed in a cage and the twisted way he spent his first year with Oguma.

 

Gouhin couldn’t read minds. He just continued, “Water is one of the most important substances in our lives, but you can die from drinking too much of it. There has to be a balance . But by the time most carnivores have their first bite of meat, they’re already adults…”

 

“…For some, that’s too late! Their body needed meat years before that. So the meat causes a chemical shockwave inside a carnivore. Their whole body has to adapt to the shock, to get used to what they’ve been missing - to the realization that they might have been slowly starving and didn’t know it.”

 

Louis wondered, offered, “And that’s meat withdrawal?”

 

Gouhin nodded sharply again. “The experience can take weeks, maybe even months, during which time they’ll likely crave more meat. They’ll sweat more, drool more, have trouble focusing or sleeping, or a number of other symptoms…”

 

“…Like someone with depression or anxiety, they’ll be plagued by intrusive thoughts that they can’t control. During that time they could even become a danger to themselves, or others. They might devour. They might do or think things they wouldn’t normally do…”

 

“…Some people handle that transition better than others - and some handle it worse. It matters if they have family or friends to help them through it, who understand what they’re feeling.”

 

Louis was concerned, “And if they don’t?

 

Gouhin looked concerned, too. “Then they’re even more screwed. They’ll probably start hating themselves, thinking they’re a terrible person for having feelings and thoughts they can’t control , and like I said, guilt and repression can make everything worse. But even with help, there’s a chance it could fuck up anybody…”

 

“…And in full honesty, the transition from a repressed life - from a young carnivorous child who’s grown up with a strong sense of empathy and herbivore friendships - to the realization they’ve been slowly starving ? That real food has always been at hand? It can break them. It’s broken many of them. Some carnivores even eat themselves rather than hurt someone else.”

 

Gouhin dug his phone out of his pocket and opened it to a canvas of photos: the carnivores who took to self-harming. He scrolled through the images, showing them to Louis, one after another. 

 

The feverish and desperate and lost. 

 

Most were full of scars. 

 

Some were missing limbs.

 

Many were young, Louis realized. Some looked as young as Legosi.

 

Gouhin explained, “In my clinic, I have entire walls covered with the pictures of carnivores who fell apart, ripped themselves up and chewed off their own limbs because they couldn’t take it . I didn’t want that to keep happening, and almost no one was doing anything about it…”

 

“…I started my clinic in the back alley because carnivores can’t magically stop being carnivores . They can’t change their biology or their instincts, but we can reduce harm . ‘Polite society’ has treated the back alley market like a monster, so that’s what it’s become…”

 

“…But it doesn’t have to be that way. Carnivores can have good, positive relationships with herbivores - and they can eat meat, too. Almost all of them have to. There is no healthy way for them to live otherwise.”

 

Louis felt his mouth going drier. A repressed, isolated carnivore with a strong sense of empathy? The comparison was right there, even if Legosi wasn’t in the same room.

 

Gouhin started speaking more passionately, “People may think the back alley market is evil, but if it is, it’s a necessary evil. A well-maintained market allows us to reduce the maximum harm, of carnivores having accidents or actually hunting on their own…”

 

“…We can stop devourings before they even start. Getting the meat their bodies need from the market means that they don’t have to hurt anyone. The market can maximize the nutrition of a single individual - an herbivore or carnivore that has passed…”

 

“…We can make sure that the only meat eaten is actually safe to eat, not tainted. The fact that almost all of the market get their meat from morgues and funeral homes means that no harm comes to the living . Nobody living needs to be harmed for a carnivore’s bodily needs.”

 

Louis was looking at Gosha again. 

 

Gosha was … incredibly well-built, especially for an older man. He was a fighter. He broke the Shishigumi. He grew up with back alley gangsters, and fought back-to-back with the Sublime Beastar. He was Yafya’s one and only partner. His body was undeniably powerful.

 

If almost all carnivores needed to eat meat to form a strong body… 

 

Louis didn’t want to ask. That’d probably be rude. 

 

Louis asked instead, and this time he was more sad about it: “Legosi really will need to eat meat eventually? Won’t he? …To be healthy?”

 

The old reptile looked a little more worn. 

 

Gosha nodded slowly, and spoke slowly, “Reptiles can go longer without meat than mammals, but it’s still a necessity for most. I hope Legosi can go longer without, but we can’t know. He’s mostly wolf. Leano has been able to go without so far. I don’t know if that’s because she’s a hybrid, or just that she stays inside most of the time…”

 

“…Legosi has been upset by the scent of blood and meat ever since he was attacked. He used to have a lot of panic attacks growing up. It’s not like we could slip him something; his nose is too good . And he cares so much…” 

 

“…So Leano and I decided long ago that we would keep him insulated from the meat-eating world, until he was older. We hoped, with enough time to recover, that Legosi would be able to tolerate it one day, for the good of his health. That day may never come - but it has to be his choice regardless, if he’s ready or not.”

 

Louis’ heart felt twisted up over that. A knot was forming in his throat. Louis felt bad about it and he’d only known a few minutes. Louis used to like the idea that Legosi never wanted meat, that he was ‘safe’ for herbivores to be around.

 

Now?

 

…Now Louis felt guilty, for not even thinking about what that would mean for Legosi. 

 

Legosi’s health … had never really been a concern. Louis always thought he was fine, he never assumed there was more.

 

Louis admitted, “I can’t imagine that has been easy.”

 

Gosha commented softly, “Being a carnivore is never easy. But we try to support each other. We have to. Maybe that’s why so many young carnivores end up here. The back alleys have an unfortunate tendency to draw in many carnivore kids who grew up without family - or trying to get away from their family…” 

 

“…The Dokugumi took me in when I was barely a teenager.The Dokugumi took care of me when no one else would. Contrary to popular belief, we venomous reptiles are very family oriented…”

 

“…We have to be, in this society, because even other carnivores are prejudiced against us. But even after leaving the Dokugumi, when I told them I needed help to save Legosi, they joined without hesitation.”

 

Louis had Oguma to help him, to get him out of the market. But if he didn’t? If he was in Gosha’s place?

 

…Where else could carnivores go?

 

Herbivores ruled most everywhere else. 

 

Louis asked tentatively, “Did Yafya find out about this? Is this why he … feels so strongly against carnivores?”

 

Gosha looked sadder. “Yaf always knew. Where we grew up? He knew. But he was okay with it … or, at least, he said he was back then. Yaf was always willing to bend or break the rules, if it would get him closer to his vision of ‘perfection’.”

 

Louis asked, “What is it?”

 

Gosha frowned, “Perfection?”

 

Louis clarified, “His vision of ‘perfection’? What is that to him? I tried to ask him, but he deflected. He wouldn’t tell me. He asked me for mine instead.”

 

Gosha admitted, “I don’t know if it’s something he can put into words. Yaf just wants everything to be perfect. But it can’t be. It won’t be. I’d say he’s an idealist, but he takes it to a dark place…”

 

“…Some of his ideals are impossible at best, and unhealthy at worst. He believes things should be a certain way, and he’ll kill to make it so. I used to be okay with that, but he resented me for wanting to raise a kid…”

 

“…He wanted us to continue our crusade against every last shadow in the dark. I don’t want to say it, but I wouldn’t be surprised if - after cutting himself off from others - that desire for perfection has turned into an obsession.”

 

Louis acknowledged, “Obsession … might be right. He went on about his carrots while I was there, saying how he was giving them the perfect water and the perfect light. He said he’d sacrifice anything for perfection, for his perfect society.”

 

The red deer immediately regret saying that. The komodo looked even worse after hearing it.

 

Gosha admitted it like it hurt, “I love Yaf. I do. He stood as my friend in the darkness of the market, back to back, and we made things better. That meant something to me. I wanted to improve things, but I didn’t know how to back then…” 

 

“…It was easier for me to stand at his back, and let him choose our targets. But his desire for perfection was always going to hurt him in the long run, and he wouldn’t hear that from me.”

 

It wasn’t so long ago that Louis was like that, too.

 

He practically fired Kai the mongoose for two little slip-ups on stage.

 

Louis hoped, “Do you think he could change back?”

 

Gosha wanted to smile but couldn’t. “Rex, I’d like to hope so…”

 

The old reptile was finally looking his age, all tired and worrisome. 

 

Gosha started to ask, like he was making an impossible request, “Will you still be his friend? Legosi’s friend? We’ve told you a lot of things that carnivores can’t talk about, and I’ll be honest, it wasn’t my intention to be this honest about it either…” 

 

“…But you know now. Now that you know about meat, and about Legosi… will you still be his friend? He’s never had many friends… and you can sign. Your friendship with him means a lot to me.”

 

The idea of ‘friendship’ with Legosi still put a little smirk back on Louis’ face. 

 

Louis said, “Legosi is much more than just a ‘friend’ to me. Yafya didn’t know that part. Maybe it didn’t even occur to him that Legosi could be anything other than a classmate. But I think you and I can make our own little deal, and we can all benefit from that.”

 

The grumpy panda actually laughed.

 

Gosha had a confused smile. “An 18-year-old herbivore wants to make a deal with a gumi mob boss? Yeah, I bet Yafya likes you. What kind of deal are we talking about?”

 

Louis leaned back in his seat and crossed his right leg over his left. “Yafya wants information about you and your activities. I also want information: about carnivores, about people like your men, and like Legosi. I can be a better Beastar that way - and I also want to keep learning for myself. I care about Legosi’s health. It seems to me that we have a very easy way to address all of these.”

 

Gosha had suspicion in his eyes. “You can’t be serious.”

 

Louis grinned in satisfaction. “I can only control what Yafya hears if I’m the one talking to him. I have no interest in betraying Legosi or his family, even if that does bring me closer to being Sublime Beastar. Unlike Yafya, there are some things I won’t sacrifice - not anymore. But I can think of worse part-time jobs than working for the mob.”

 

Gouhin laughed himself right out of the door.

…… 

Free was walking around the kitchen, looking at some of the others waiting for a late snack. 

 

One of the Dokugumi was an amazing cook. A few of the Shishigumi were helping him out, too.

 

Free started to ask, “Hey, you guys think I’m reliable, right?”

 

Sabu slammed down his beer when he was done drinking. He growled, “Is that what we’re doing tonight? Picking fights?”

Chapter 39: Of questionable sanity

Summary:

Louis: I know how to keep secrets. I can do this.

Haru stares in his general direction.

Louis: Fuck.

Notes:

Comments keep me writing. :)

When Louis left Gosha’s room, Legosi was waiting down the hall with Ibuki. The wolf looked awkward, uncomfortable. His eyes shifted around like he was still nervous. His tail was fairly low.

 

Louis went to go talk to him. 

 

Legosi asked, [Did you finish already?]

 

Louis winced slightly. “Sort of. No. But … I thought I should tell you something before going back in. Ibuki, can we use that room?”

 

Louis pointed off to one side where a door hung open. 

 

Ibuki gave a quick nod, “Shouldn’t be a problem at this hour. I’ll watch the door for you.”

 

Louis and Legosi stepped inside, and Louis closed the door behind Legosi.

 

Legosi started glancing around the room, the usual sort of furniture that gave no real hint to this room’s purpose. He asked, [How did it go?]

 

Louis looked like he was biting his tongue. He admitted, “…I didn’t hear what I wanted to hear, but I think I heard what I needed to hear.”

 

The wolf frowned. [What’s that supposed to mean?]

 

Louis had to clear his throat. “It means … I’m going to be working with Gosha for a while.”

 

Legosi blinked like he heard wrong. [In … construction work?]

 

“No,” Louis tried to clear his throat again, more awkwardly. “As … part of the gumi.”

 

Legosi was staring at insanity. […Louis, I know you don’t like being lumped in with other herbivores… but have you completely forgotten these men eat meat?? ]

 

Louis nodded slowly. “Yes. I’m aware… and… that’s exactly why I need to work with them.”

 

Legosi looked even more confused. [That doesn’t even make sense! That’s why you shouldn’t be anywhere near them!]

 

Louis was fighting an internal war inside his mind, afraid to tell Legosi too much, afraid to tell him the wrong thing - afraid that even the right words would hurt Legosi. 

 

Louis tried to skirt the issue. “I’ll still be attending Cherryton. It’ll just be a few hours here and there. Gosha and Gouhin will be looking out for me. It’ll be like … an internship.”

 

Legosi was pacing back and forth before the deer was even halfway done. [An internship with criminal carnivores!!]

 

Louis clarified, “Actually, Gosha was very clear he won’t involve me in any criminal activities. Mostly this will be an opportunity for me to work with carnivores and learn from carnivores - in a setting where they can be fully honest and transparent with me.”

 

Legosi complained, [So they can honestly tell you they want to eat you??]

 

Louis smirked. “Well… yes, maybe.”

 

Legosi slapped himself. [That sounds completely crazy! You’ve gone completely crazy!] 

 

Louis was still smirking as he leaned back against a wall. “Yeah, it really does sound that way.”

 

Legosi rubbed his face before he turned toward Louis, angrily signing, [I don’t want to join the mob, Louis!]

 

Louis frowned at the wolf. He said, “I’m not asking you to. I am.”

 

Legosi huffed, [Well, clearly I have to if you are! Do you think I’m going to leave you with them ? The Shishigumi? They’re crazy!]

 

Louis joked in sign, [Well then, that’s something we have in common, because I’m crazy, too.]

 

Legosi snapped, [It’s not the same thing! They’re meat-eating large-breed carnivores! And even if they weren’t, they’re still criminals!]

 

Louis replied, [And that’s exactly why I’m doing this. I want to learn more about that.]

 

The wolf ordered, [Read a book!]

 

Legosi went back to sighing heavily and pacing. 

 

Louis held on to his conversation with Yafya, unsure if it was safe to share that with Legosi. He didn’t want to risk Legosi’s safety if he didn’t have to.

 

A half-truth might do. 

 

Louis spoke calmly, “Legosi, I need to do this. There are forces in motion right now - powerful forces. I can’t control everything that’s happening. But this, right now, is the best move I can make. I need you to believe that.”

 

Legosi didn’t respond. He kept pacing, kept fussing with his hands.

 

Louis added, “You said you trusted me. Were you lying?”

 

The wolf looked hurt. [What? No! Of course not. But I don’t trust them ! They’re gangsters! Criminals! They already tried to kidnap Haru and they did kidnap me! I don’t want them to kidnap you, too! I’m not leaving you alone with them! I don’t trust them with you!]

 

The red deer was frowning back. [The smell of blood and meat makes you panic, and feline fangs upset you. You had a panic attack just walking into this place. You can’t be around the back alley market with them.]

 

Legosi complained, [I’ll figure something out! Or I’ll - sit on you or something so you can’t go!]

 

Louis snorted. [You’ll sit on me?]

 

Legosi’s fur was fluffing up in embarrassment. [Or something! I don’t know! But I’m not letting you do this alone! I don’t want to spend every night worrying if you’re going to come home alive or not!]

 

Louis tried to be more serious. He took another step toward the wolf. [If it’ll make you feel better, then we can do this together - but I need to do this. I can’t look away from this. …But if it is the two of us… I’m sure we’ll be great.]

 

Legosi’s drooping ears were as confused as his tail. [I still don’t like this.]

 

Louis smirked, [I like you.]

 

The wolf exhaled shakily as Louis started getting closer. 

 

Legosi signed small, [We’ll have to tell Haru…]

 

Louis signed happily, [I can handle that. But think of it this way: you’ll have an excuse to break out the good suit and sword. And you do look really hot in that suit.]

 

Louis made a point of gently tugging on the wolf’s shirt, to bring him closer.

 

Legosi surrendered, [You’re still crazy…]

 

Louis teased, “You and Haru love the crazy.”

 

The wolf shook his head even as he smiled. [I refuse to answer that.]

 

Legosi ended up wrapping his arms around Louis as the deer came in closer for a hug. They stayed that way a little while, just hugging each other. Louis whispered affections into Legosi’s ear.

 

Louis, Legosi and Ibuki returned to the other room with Gosha and Gouhin. The pair were leaning over a map of the city now, pencils in hand, coordinating patrol routes. 

 

Legosi signed with a little resignation, [We’re both in…]

 

Gosha said, “I’m not explaining this to Leano.”

…… 

Yafya was laughing on the other end of the phone call. “You’re crazy. You’re absolutely crazy.”

 

Louis was just laying on his bed back in his Cherryton dorm. “You know, people keep saying that to me. Maybe I should see a therapist, too.”

 

Yafya repeated, “You talked the dog into taking you to his grandpa, and he hired you? That ancient son of a bitch hired you?”

 

Louis said casually, “I’m an actor. I can be very convincing with the right motivation.”

 

Yafya asked, “And you’re motivated?”

 

Louis stated, “Carnivores raised me for slaughter. I have always been motivated to trample on my history. You practically offered me the country for doing so. You told me to approach this as only I would and I know how to play an audience full of simpletons. Gosha had to know you’d be spying on him; you lost no advantage. So I told him that’s what you asked me to do and it got me into his good graces. Then I got him to believe that I’ll be working for him even as I’ll be working for you.”

 

Yafya worked to process that. “You convinced him to hire you, by claiming you’ll be a triple agent instead of a double agent?”

 

Louis teased, “And it was so absolutely crazy, he believed me. They’ll all believe me.”

 

Yafya drawled, “Well, I might actually be sad if you get yourself killed. I could use another dozen agents with balls like yours.”

 

Louis wondered, “What was it you said at dinner? You’d ‘commit to any labor or sacrifice for perfection’? I’ve already sacrificed much to get here. Becoming the next Sublime makes everything else worth it. But I’m Legosi’s friend; among those cats, I’m practically bullet-proof.”

 

Yafya replied, “It’s not their bullets you have to worry about. They’ll do worse than shoot you if they think you’re playing them.”

 

Louis answered, “Then I best play them very, very carefully. Don’t expect an update every night.”

 

The horse added, “I’ll have my spies leave you a few burner phones.”

 

Louis said, “Mail them. I’ll give you a piece of free information right now: you’ll want to keep your spies far away from Legosi. That nose isn’t just for show.”

 

Yafya was listening. “Do tell.”

 

Louis clarified, “Legosi learns a scent fast and he can pick it out of a crowd. He’s used to sniffing out that rabbit in his garden club. He always tried to be friends with the small animals in the drama club, too. He’s had even more practice ID’ing his groupies lately, and Gosha’s been keeping protection close behind him, too…”

 

“…So those mice of yours? They’ll get caught, one way or another, and that will screw up everything. Legosi needs to trust me. The Shishigumi need to believe I’m a controlled threat or they won’t be honest. We need them honest for them to slip up.”

 

It was quiet on the line. Yafya pointed out, “You’re singing a different tune now. What happened to the sunshine and rainbows?”

 

Louis said playfully, “Those were always your words, Yafya, not mine. I consider Legosi a friend, but he most certainly has some of his grandfather in that blood. Or did your spies not hear of how many lions he killed?”

 

Yafya’s voice was darker. “When?”

 

“The night they kidnapped him,” Louis answered. “It was self-defense, but Legosi was carving his way out of the Shishigumi before Gosha ever stepped in the door. Gosha only took over because of what Legosi had to do first.”

 

Yafya wasn’t convinced, “The dinosaur said Legosi killed the Chief. That was legit?”

 

Louis said outright, “As real as the sword under Legosi’s bed.”

 

Yafya probed, “And you’re fine with that? Being friends with a killer?”

 

Louis insisted, “I’ve been ready to kill since I was four years old. I’ll kill myself before a carnivore takes advantage of me again. I killed one of the Shishigumi before they even kidnapped Legosi. They went after my girlfriend first. Friends with a killer? We are all killers in this conversation. There are benefits to having a killer at your service. You and I both know that. It’s why you tolerate the carnivores on your staff, the ones in the police. Legosi just needs a little more … motivation.”

 

Yafya teased back for once, “You’re a right monster yourself, aren’t you?”

 

Louis said flatly, “I sleep with a gun, Yafya. There are a whole lot of monsters in the world.”

 

Yafya warned, “Don’t get yourself killed, kid.”

 

Louis shot back, “Don’t get me killed, Yafya. You keep those spies away from Legosi and I, and I’ll get those cats singing on key.”

 

“Good luck. Miguel is tone deaf.” That’s the last thing Yafya said, before cutting off the call.

 

Louis breathed out heavily. 

 

Two down.

 

One more to go.

…… 

Louis drew the shades shut in their little garden club room. Louis had borrowed a device from Ibuki to check the place for listening devices.

 

Haru was groaning, aggrieved, horrified, flabbergasted. “You’re crazy. You’re both crazy!”

 

Legosi insisted, [That’s what I told him!]

 

Louis grumbled to himself in the corner of the garden club. 

 

Haru leaned closer, “This is certifiable, Louis! You’re an herbivore! They eat herbivores! Why would you want to work with them??”

 

Louis answered, “It’s complicated! I keep having to explain this! Legosi, you do it this time!”

 

The wolf gave several puffy exhales like laughing, scoffing, [Haha, no. This was your decision. I’m just making sure you don’t get killed.]

 

Louis fussed, “I need you to trust me! I know what I’m doing! This will make me a better Beastar. There are things I need to learn and Legosi can’t be the one to teach me!”

 

Haru was still glaring, all suspicious and unhappy. Then, very purposefully, Haru signed to them: [Is it because of Yafya?]

 

Legosi blinked. 

 

Louis did nothing. 

 

Haru added, [We’re not stupid, Louis. You went to see him and now you’re joining the mob. It’s a big jump, but A leads to B.]

 

Legosi was starting to glare, too, catching on to the deception.

 

Louis reluctantly signed, [It isn’t safe for you to know more.]

 

Haru snapped, “I didn’t choose to be safe, Louis! I chose to be with you two crazies. Don’t sit there and lie to me and assume I’ll be fine with it. Because I know where Oguma is and I’ll have your dad’s goons here faster than you can say solitary confinement!”

 

Louis was gritting his teeth. His mind was racing with a dozen angles, two dozen lies. 

 

Legosi was still glaring, now crossing his arms.

 

And the way that Haru and Legosi were looking at him … was just a little too painful.

 

The red deer wilted downwards.

 

Louis double-checked around the window curtain, before closing it tight again. He started signing slowly, […I don’t know if we can talk about this out loud, and I don’t know if we can text it either… I don’t know how long signing will be safe. Yafya has spies - a lot of small rodent spies - and he hates carnivores. I think … I think he kills them. No judge, no jury, just executes any criminal he wants - and almost every carnivore eats meat, so almost every carnivore is a target. He uses their bodies as his own special fertilizer, and he can get away with it all because he’s the Sublime Beastar.]

 

Haru’s expression darkened, and Legosi’s face became more haunted still. Legosi rubbed at his scarred neck. 

 

Louis continued, [Yafya wants me to spy on Gosha and Legosi. That’s why I needed to talk to him; I wanted to hear Gosha’s side of things. I don’t trust the Shishigumi either, but… I have this bad feeling that Yafya’s even worse. He bragged about killing carnivores, just for me, like it would win me to his side. Maybe that would have worked on me a year ago, but I’m different now…]

 

[…I told Gosha what Yafya wants. Gosha knows I’ll be sharing some things with Yafya. I planned it out with Gosha. So I’m going to do what I said I’d do on stage: I’m going to learn how to do right by carnivores. And I can use that knowledge, I can control that knowledge, and I can share what actually needs sharing.] 

 

Louis fixed his gaze on Legosi and promised, [I will not become Yafya. I refuse to be like Yafya. I refuse to hate people just because they’re born different, just because their bodies need meat. And if I’m lucky, if Gosha and I are all very lucky… we can teach Yafya, too.]

 

Legosi had to repeat that, questioning, [Teach Yafya? How can you teach Yafya?]

 

Louis admitted, [I don’t know yet. That part comes later.]

 

Haru was trying to look at the angles herself. “This is stupid dangerous, Louis. Can’t you just … not be involved at all?”

 

Louis grimaced through a smile. “I can’t unknow things.” He added in sign, [Gosha has a target on his back whether I help him or not.]

 

Legosi offered, [You could choose to do nothing. You don’t have to get between Yafya and grandpa. Grandpa’s always been able to take care of himself.]

 

Louis’ throat was tight, but his voice was resolute. He said, “He shouldn’t have to.” Louis wanted to make it clear, [Good carnivores stand up to bad carnivores, and good herbivores need to stand up to bad herbivores, too.]

 

Haru fussed, “Did you really have to find your moral compass in like, the most frustratingly crazy way? Couldn’t you just volunteer at a soup kitchen like a regular person?”

 

Louis snapped his fingers. “A soup kitchen for starving carnivores. Brilliant. I love it. I’m adding it to my planner.”

 

The rabbit slapped her forehead and sat on the bed, “That is not remotely what I meant!”

 

Louis came over to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, “Come on, Haru. Join the mob with us. You know it’ll be fun.~”

 

Haru groaned, “You’re crazy. You’re completely crazy…”

 

Louis added, “Just think of it, Haru: getting a whole bunch of half-naked lion manservants to do the gardening for you… a bunch of large, stoic, muscley men at your beck and call… growing cannabis or something…”

 

Haru giggled and rolled her eyes. “It’s still crazy…”

 

Louis insisted, “You love the crazy…”

 

Legosi was still standing off to the side, looking more nervous now. He was rubbing at the space below his scarf.

 

Louis softened his tone, “Come on, hot stuff. There’s room on this bed for three.”

 

Legosi’s tail wagged despite himself. He still signed small, [This is going to be really dangerous, Louis…]

 

Louis returned, “Then it’s good I have a strapping young wolf man like you to protect me.”

 

Legosi wanted to groan, too. He rubbed his eyes. 

 

Louis reached over to grab Legosi by the shirt and pull him close again. “Come on, Legosi. Trust me. This will all work out…”

Chapter 40: A firm handshake

Summary:

There's introducing yourself to your coworkers and then there's ... whatever the hell Louis is about to do.

Notes:

Comments keep me writing. :)

I had to shuffle some things for chapter tone, sorry. I promise we'll have more Haru in the next chapter.

Gosha got the whole gang together - the lions of the Shishigumi, the komodo of the Dokugumi. He even had Gouhin there.

 

He got them all together in one big hall. They sat at a half-dozen tables, some circular, some rectangular. It was a big hodgepodge of furniture and chairs, like that hodgepodge of animals now filling them.

 

Some of the lions and komodo had even become friends and started sitting together. 

 

A single long table was raised up in front of all the others. Gosha was sitting there in the center, and he wasn’t alone. 

 

Dolph, Ibuki and Savon sat on his left side.

 

On Gosha’s right, there was Legosi, Louis, and Gouhin.

 

Legosi took his emergency medicine before ever setting foot in the mansion, and it slowed his nerves just enough that he wasn’t outright panicking. He still felt incredibly uncomfortable, fearful, and that wasn’t something he could afford to let anyone see.

 

Concern for Louis was the only thing that got him into that room.

 

The gumis were chatting amongst themselves, waiting for Gosha to call them to order.

 

No one said anything about Legosi being there. Legosi had that lethal sword at his waist as before. He wore his scarf loosely over his shoulders, but it wasn’t covering his neck. That was Louis’ suggestion.

 

It was a reminder, a warning to everyone - that someone sinking their teeth into his throat had failed to kill him. It only made the demon madder.

 

No one might have said anything about Louis being there either - sitting at the same table as their leaders - but everyone was thinking about it.

 

Gosha gestured to Dolph, Ibuki and Savon at one point. The three stood up from the table and their presence demanded attention. Their bearing demanded silence.

 

One cat was still talking, he didn’t notice them, and got smacked by the lion next to him.

 

Gosha stood up then. Those eyes of his were leering around the room. 

 

Legosi and Louis stood up after him, beside him. So did Gouhin.

 

The old reptile spoke loud enough for everyone to hear, “We’re going to make this quick. The Black Devil … just screwed up.” 

 

A quick cheer went through the ranks. 

 

Gosha allowed himself a small smile, before leering at them again. “My grandson is joining us. Half of you have firsthand experience with the damage he can do, and I remind you he is protected .”

 

Gosha stabbed a claw in Louis’ direction without looking at him. “I don’t expect most of you to read the news, but this is Louis the red deer. He’s Cherryton’s first Beastar in five years. He’s also been Legosi’s interpreter for the last year, and he’ll continue to interpret for Legosi as needed. This means two things, and by all my venom you had best be paying attention right now.”

 

Gosha slicked venom from his maw, and held it up on his claw. “This means that Louis belongs to Legosi. You do not touch him. You do not threaten him. You do not even sniff at him. You do nothing without Legosi’s express approval. And two? Two … is that Yafya thinks he owns Louis. Yafya invited him in for dinner . But Louis is ours . He is our man, and Yafya’s so hung up on who’s a carnivore that he doesn’t even see it. I should not have to explain to you what a coup this is for us.” 

 

The room was still silent, but discomfort was clearly setting in.

 

Gosha continued angrily, threateningly, “Louis will be in contact with the Black Devil. I expect, at some point, Louis will walk right into the Police Department and dine with him again. I repeat: you do nothing . I don’t care what you think you see or what you think you hear. You take all your concerns to me or Legosi. When I took control of you all, I told you I would deal with the Black Devil, and we are dealing with him…”

 

“…So if anyone gets any bright ideas about Louis or Yafya, you best fucking rethink them, because I put the wellbeing of this organization first and I will not hesitate to kill someone stupid enough to wreck this for everyone else. We have one chance. We have one Beastar on our side. I will now open the floor to five questions. Make them count, cause I’m not discussing this all night.”

 

Several paws slowly went up.

 

Gosha glanced around the room. “Dope.”

 

A young lion stood up, intelligent eyes searching, reaching for understanding. “You trust him, boss. You clearly have to trust him for him to even be here. That’s not my question. My question is… can you tell us why you trust him? He’s … not even a carnivore.”

 

Gosha glared, “Because two months ago, you lot had the audacity to kidnap my grandson - and Louis amassed a whole army to shoot you all dead to get him back. That is loyalty - and a whole lot of crazy, and it’s the kind of crazy that would spit in Yafya’s face for the honor of his friend. Sabu. You next.”

 

Sabu’s eyes were looking angry behind the mask that always covered his jaws. His hand was half up - with his claws out. His claws sheathed as he clenched his fist, “We’re used to crazy here. He’s protected. But are we protected from crazy like that - from an herbivore who turns on his kind? Do we have to protect ourselves from him?”

 

Gosha actually thought that was funny. He turned to the red deer. “And how do you want to answer that?”

 

Louis let everyone see him smirk. “I’m more certain than ever that I have to be a little crazy. But your logic is wrong: Yafya is not ‘my kind.’ Or do you not know about his carrot farm?”

 

No one had an answer for that. Even Gosha had the slightest look of ignorance behind his eyes.

 

Louis stated clearly, “Yafya is the Sublime Beastar. He brags that he can be granted any wish of his choosing. So he plays judge, jury and executioner, all on his own. He took me into his parlor in police headquarters. There he has his own personal garden of carrots - rows and rows of carrots. And all those carnivores who disappear? The people who run into Yafya and are never seen again? He buries them… among his carrots. He dines on those carrots, which grow on the back of the vanished…” 

 

“…And I am certain that some of those people deserved it and I am also certain that some of them did not deserve it. Yafya hates you all, every last carnivore who even sniffs at meat, and I am not Yafya’s kind. So you can call me crazy and you might be right, but do not think for a moment that I am on the side of the Black Devil. And as long as you play nice with me, I’ll play nice with you, but you can also rest assured I don’t need Gosha or Legosi to protect me.”

 

Someone laughed. Someone else smacked them quiet.

 

An excited Free put his hand straight up. 

 

Gosha sighed heavily, “Free, don’t make me regret this.”

 

Free stood up from his table and asked playfully, “Hey, I’ll take one for the team. Everybody’s thinking it: he’s a little guy and we’re all fighters here. Are we gonna have to babysit him around the market?”

 

Gosha and Legosi were glancing at Louis again.

 

Louis signed and fingerspelled something to the komodo, too fast for anyone not fluent to read. 

 

Gosha laughed, “By all means.”

 

Legosi gripped tighter to his sword’s hilt.

 

Louis looked at Free and grinned with menace. “I remember you. My girlfriend burned your eyes. You screamed. …It sounded nice.”

 

(That was a lie, but Louis made it sound true.)

 

Free didn’t look playful anymore. He was reliving the pain. 

 

Louis had his hands at his side. 

 

Louis stated, “Pick a shoulder.”

 

Free’s voice choked a little and he took a step back, “N-nah! It’s fine! It’s okay! I’m good! I was just asking for everybody else! Right, guys? That, that was an important question, right?”

 

The gunshot happened before Free even saw the gun in Louis’ left hand. The bullet cut through his suit at the right shoulder, slicing open the fabric and leaving the flesh unharmed.

 

Louis was just holding the gun while several cats fell out of their chairs, or dived for cover. 

 

Free was frozen a few seconds more, thinking he was dead, but he wasn’t even hurt. He hesitantly tapped at his shoulders and felt a new tear in his suit.

 

Louis thanked his extra time in the firing range. He clarified, “And I’m not even left-handed. Want to see how many times I can keep hitting just your suit? It’s already ruined.”

 

Several lions were trying not to laugh and failing. Even Gosha was smirking a bit. 

 

The old komodo said, “I think the question has been answered.”

 

Free patted his chest and wheezed, “Okay! Not gonna lie: that was kinda cool.”

 

Several more people laughed. 

 

Then Gouhin groaned, “Fuck, why does he get to shoot at Free? I’ve always wanted to shoot at Free!”

 

And then there were even more laughs.

 

Legosi relaxed his grip on the sword, a little frustrated, because of course the gumis liked that. 

 

Jinma waited to be called next. “Yeah, hey, I heard that when an interpreter is talking for someone, you’re actually supposed to be looking at the person who’s signing. Is that right? Is that the proper decorum?”

 

Louis answered, “Yes, that’s correct. It’s just respectful. You’ll learn very fast when I’m interpreting and when I’m talking for myself, because Legosi is much nicer than I am.”

 

Someone else laughed. 

 

Jinma nodded, “Right, good, we want to be respectful of the boss’ grandson.” He said it like he just won an argument with someone else. 

 

There were a few other hands going up, but as Dolph lifted up a few fingers, all the others went down. 

 

Gosha nodded at him. 

 

Dolph folded his arms across his chest again. “Your loyalty to Legosi is … unique. No one tries to storm our base to get back their friend. So my question is for both of you: what did Legosi do that he inspired so much loyalty, that you’d risk yourself against us and against the Black Devil?”

 

Louis rattled off, “He mopped the floor with a jerk of a tiger and called me on my shit. It was beautiful. I was moved. Our friendship started from there.”

 

Dolph’s eyes narrowed, “No. Seriously. Why are you loyal to him ?”

 

Dolph pointed at the scarred wolf like it was an accusation.

 

Louis glared back, but he was glancing at the others in the room. He could feel the atmosphere, the wariness, the sudden shift of people once more on guard for deception. Mistrust was in the air again. More people were looking at Legosi, too.

 

It was silent as Louis looked to Legosi. 

 

The anxiety was building.

 

Louis signed, [Can I tell them?]

 

Legosi was trying to look strong. 

 

Legosi was trying to look stern.

 

He was trying to be a good little stagehand, just supporting cast to Cherryton’s lead actor.

 

But Gosha was right there and there they all were, smack dab in front of some fifty carnivore killers.

 

Legosi gave a little huff, a deep sigh, and admitted, [It’d be better… if they heard it from us…]

 

Louis grabbed Legosi by the shirt, yanked him down a bit and kissed Legosi right on the lips, right in front of everyone.

 

The wolf’s ears dropped flat.

 

Gosha’s eyes blew open wide.

 

Someone let slip, “Oh, snap!” Someone else swore under their breath.

 

But Louis kissed him long and hard, and then shoved Legosi back and glared at everyone in the room. Louis spoke like he was swearing, “Because Legosi is powerful, and noble, and an artist with a blade, and he is worth knowing and worth loving. That rabbit? She’s my girlfriend. And Legosi? He’s my boyfriend. We are all together, and if anyone, anyone , feels the need to make Legosi’s orientation an issue, then I won’t shoot to miss…” 

 

“…I won’t give you a warning shot. This is it, fuckers. This is all you get. First I’ll shoot your hand, then your foot, then a shoulder, then a knee. If you shame Legosi, I will make you my pincushion. I will dismantle you with bullet holes, one shot at a time, because I have a lot more than one gun on me. I will not be quick. I will not be kind. I will make it so you can feel every last point of pain, and when you scream, I will enjoy it, just like I enjoyed Free’s screams.”

 

Louis slowly drew a gun again and aimed it toward Dolph, “Have I made myself fucking clear? Because I swear it, he is worth my loyalty and he is worth doing something crazy for, like standing in the middle of a lion’s den, like spitting in Yafya’s face, like kissing him in front of a horde of volatile gangsters, like seeing this whole society flipped upside down. Because Gosha saved you fuckers from me , and no one - no one is going to touch Legosi again, not even the Black Fucking Devil in his castle on high.” 

 

Louis turned toward the crowd, gun aimed upwards, and sneered the words, “Do we have an understanding??”

 

Fifty some gangsters were sitting in shock, in silence, in awe.

 

Someone clapped their hands.

 

And then everyone else did, too, filling the space with applause.

 

The Cherryton Beastar was on a whole different stage, but he still knew how to play a crowd.

 

Legosi wanted to hide.

……

Gosha was never more glad to know how to sign. He could keep his jaws shut and hide the waterfall of venom going on behind his maw. One thought kept bouncing around his head like a pinball machine.

 

Is interspecies love an inherited trait???

 

Gosha waited till they were alone in his personal office. Legosi sat down on one couch, and Gosha sat on the couch opposite. Louis sat on the wolf’s left. 

 

It was very hard for Gosha to force a smile and keep that venom inside simultaneously but he wanted to be reassuring. He signed for Legosi, [So you … have a girlfriend? And a boyfriend?]

 

Louis put his arm across Legosi’s back, providing a small measure of affection.

 

Legosi glanced nervously at the red deer. He signed to Gosha, [Yes?]

 

Gosha tried to be polite. [That's … nice. …When did you start dating?]

 

Legosi was trying not to grimace. [A week before the kidnapping…]

 

Gosha blinked, [One week? Only one week?]

 

One week was a very small time to go from dating to risking your life for them against yakuza.

 

Legosi tried to explain, [Louis and Haru were already together. They’d been dating each other for a while. I liked them both. But I didn’t think they’d want me, either of them. Then a lot of things happened and they both wanted to try being together with me, so … we’re trying things out…]

 

Louis added, “Technically I had a crush on Legosi a lot sooner than that. Haru, too. We both really liked him. But Legosi saving my life was the thing that really brought us all together.”

 

Gosha looked back and forth between them. “You saved his life? When did you save his life?”

 

Legosi awkwardly repeated, [A week before the kidnapping…]

 

Louis was fond of the memory as he explained, “A jaguar at school tried to kill me. He nearly succeeded. Almost bit through my arm. Legosi fought him away from me, picked me up and ran me to the school nurse. It’s why my arm was messed up that night when we came to save Legosi.”

 

Gosha’s eyes went wider. [You got into a fight at school?! Why didn’t you tell me you got into a fight at school??]

 

Technically, it was several fights.

 

Legosi signed faster, [Because I was dealing with things! I was dealing with a lot of things all at once! It all happened in a very short period of time, and I didn’t know how to talk to you about it yet! I didn’t know how you’d take it! What was I supposed to say? ‘Hey, grandpa! I thought I was asexual, but it turns out I have feelings for two people who aren’t even my species!’ I wasn’t planning for things to end up this way. I wasn’t planning on getting kidnapped, and I wasn’t planning for you to throw your life away for me!]

 

Gosha’s face took on more sadness. [Is that what you think? That I threw my life away?]

 

Legosi was looking away and insisted, [You dropped everything to clean up after me, to take charge of the Shishigumi so I could go home safe. I didn’t want to disappoint you. I didn’t want you to feel tricked or regret it, like …]

 

Gosha swallowed venom. [Like what?]

 

Legosi was looking further down. [Like I wasn’t worth it.]

 

Louis wanted to debate that, to challenge it, to insist that wasn’t true. But this conversation wasn’t about Louis. The red deer squeezed the wolf’s shoulders, empathy on his face.

 

Gosha got up from his seat. He walked closer and took a knee in front of Legosi. He wanted Legosi to see this.

 

Gosha signed purposefully, [From the moment you were born, you became my happiness. A grandfather doesn’t need a reason to help to his grandson. I was always content just being your nice old grandpa. I never needed more. But I made a choice to control these gumis. It was my choice. I wasn’t planning on that either, but I don’t regret it for a moment. It’s my job to take care of you and your mom. …I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you enough this year. I thought Cherryton would be good for you both. I didn’t know it would be that hard. I didn’t know it would get so bad.]

 

Legosi felt guilty. He still couldn’t look Gosha in the eye.

 

Legosi corrected weakly, [It wasn’t all bad… I met so many people, and made a lot of friends, and I met Louis and Haru… I wouldn’t give them up for anything. They make me happy. They like spending time with me and they like me for me - even though I’m a carnivore, and even though I can’t talk…]

 

Gosha smiled more. [I loved your grandmother. She made me so happy and she never cared about my venom. But I don’t know if she’d have the strength to take on the Shishigumi for me. Louis and Haru were both there for you that night.] Gosha glanced at the red deer and added, [And Louis made it abundantly clear tonight he’s still looking out for you. I don’t think a grandfather could ask for anything more than that.]

 

Legosi didn’t know how to respond to that. 

 

Louis gently rubbed at Legosi’s back. He promised, “Legosi is worth it. I wasn’t just saying that. We’re all in the business of caring for each other now. That won’t change because we’re here.”

 

There was a knock at the door.

 

Gosha growled under his breath, “One second.”

 

A group of the Shishigumi were whispering to each other as Gosha opened the door. The komodo looked mad. Even Miguel was with them.

 

The lions pushed Free to the front, some practically hiding behind him. 

 

Gosha looked at the lions and gave them a small glare. “Did you boys need something?”

 

One lion pushed Free another step forward, and Free stammered, “Yeah! Hey, boss, uh - some of the guys and I were wondering … can we take your boys to the shooting range later?”

 

Gosha frowned. He looked to Legosi and Louis, who were themselves standing up from the couch now.

 

Suspiciously Gosha asked, “What for?”

 

Free glanced back for help. 

 

A dark-furred lion offered, “Because they’re awesome?”

 

Miguel whispered, “Agata, hush .”

 

Legosi huffed out an annoyed breath. Louis smirked like it was a victory.

 

Free added for himself, “Yeah… we just kinda wanted to see him shoot more…” 

 

Agata asked excitedly, “Got any more trick shots?”

 

Louis teased, “What, you want me to shoot your pants off next?”

 

Free went blank. “…That would be so hot if you were a woman.”

Chapter 41: Tell me all your secret schemes

Summary:

The real kicker is that Legosi will be fine, but Louis doesn’t know that.

A long time ago, in Chapter 14.

 

*

 

Louis was pacing around the small club room. 

 

Haru had shifted to laying on the bed, reading the school newspaper. 

 

He was trying to figure out some things in that messed up head of his. Then he snapped his finger when an idea came.

 

Louis was determined, “Okay. We can fix this! This is easy. He’s a carnivore. I’m an herbivore. Clearly a relationship between us would never work.”

 

Haru glanced at him over the edge of the school newspaper. “Seriously? All the reasons you could come up with, and that’s what sticks out?”

 

Louis replied seriously, “Yes! We can’t change that about ourselves. He’s going to want meat. I’m meat.”

 

“And I’m chopped liver,” Haru complained.

 

Louis was aghast, “How do you even know that expression?!”

 

Haru said blankly, “I’m small, sneaky, and 30% ears. I overhear the carnivores say things.”

 

Louis fussed, “Nevermind! Well, I’d keep dating you, too, but you already know we can’t be together forever. We’ve talked about this before, it’s the responsibility of every young animal to produce pure-blood children. My father has an arranged marriage for me! He expects an heir!”

 

Haru turned a page, “Ah-huh. Sure.”

 

Louis winced, “Which, yes, would preclude a relationship with Legosi as well! I just mean, I can fix this one thing! That’s all it would take! If I get Legosi to eat meat, that will fix my brain! I’ll get my stupid horny Id to see Legosi as the dangerous, hungry carnivore he actually is, and not some super sexy jock studmuffin - fucking damn it!”

 

*

 

Louis grabbed the pillow, so he could groan in it again.

 

Haru sighed in faux sympathy. “Honestly, Louis, you’re making way too much of this. Everyone gets feelings. Everyone has to figure them out. So you like Legosi! That’s understandable, it really is. He’s a very likeable guy. Just, no scheming against Legosi! That, I’m serious about! He’s a good guy. I don’t want you messing with his emotions.”

 

Louis grumbled past the pillow, and held two fingers close together, “Not even a little scheming?”

 

Haru promptly grabbed the pillow and started hitting him with it, shouting, “No schemes!”

 

Louis started laughing as he defended himself from her tiny, fluffy outrage.

 

*

 

Morning wasn’t a good time to talk to Legosi. He was never a morning person.

 

But it was a good time for Louis to talk to Haru, without Legosi around. 

 

They grabbed breakfast from the cafeteria, then found a secluded little corner on the rooftops.

 

Haru was kind enough to not call Louis on his bullshit until they were alone. She asked, “So what else aren’t you telling Legosi?”

 

Louis cleared his throat, “What makes you think this is about Legosi?”

 

Haru just stared at him with her big black eyes, like she was staring through his lies.

 

Louis breathed heavily, “Okay, okay. Yes, it’s about Legosi…”

 

Haru laughed once.

 

Louis complained, “Are you telepathic now? Have you unlocked special rabbit powers while I wasn’t paying attention?”

 

Haru smirked, “Yes, definitely. I’m clairvoyant. Now tell me all your secret schemes and I’ll tell you your future - like if you die. Horribly. From falling off the roof.”

 

Louis insisted, “I have to keep a few secrets. I need them to live. I’m nothing without my schemes, you know that.”

 

Haru teased, “Nothing but a good rack and a pretty face.”

 

Louis grinned, “You think I’m pretty?”

 

She joked, “I’m not putting that on an official transcript, sorry.”

 

Then the rabbit became a bit more serious. 

 

She said more softly, “I know you better than anyone. You’re playing a dangerous game right now, but you’re still holding a few cards close to your chest. You wanted us up here for breakfast - so there’s something you don’t want others to hear - or Legosi… and I don’t like that. We’re supposed to be honest with each other.”

 

Louis looked down at his plate, at the meal specially prepared by the Cherryton staff. 

 

The school always claimed to have ‘designed the perfect meals for nutrition and taste, to feed the body and satisfy the hunger…’ or something like that.

 

Louis wasn’t sure if that was true anymore. He knew some carnivores complained about bean-based protein, but he thought that’s all it was: complaining, a simple matter of taste buds. 

 

Louis looked down at his own plate, and felt an overwhelming sense of weirdness about it. Fruits and veggies. 

 

What makes a bunch of vegetables? How do you classify that? Plant things either cut down or dug up, to be eaten, to be ‘food.’ 

 

Everybody needs food to live.

 

Louis was hesitant to admit, “When I was talking to Gosha in the Shishigumi’s mansion… the doctor was there, too. The panda, I mean, Gouhin - the one who recognized Legosi’s PTSD. Legosi wasn’t in the room then. He started having a panic attack from being back in that building. That’s my fault. I was so focused on Yafya and finding answers, I didn’t even consider Legosi’s mental health first.”

 

The rabbit grimaced, but didn’t want to make him feel guiltier than he already looked. “Admittedly, that was not your smartest moment. But Legosi wants to support us like we support him. That’s part of being partners.”

 

Louis still looked like he was beating himself up inside. 

 

Louis added, “There’s more to it though. Gouhin and I talked a lot about health and biology, and I’m not sure I can repeat it all offhand, but … the doctor repeated something a few times. He said he was worried about Legosi. And now I’m worried about him, too, and I don’t really know who to talk to.”

 

Haru frowned slowly. “Do you mean worried about his mental health, or worried about him in the gumi?”

 

Louis didn’t feel hungry anymore. His stomach felt weird. He put his plate aside. 

 

Louis asked in concern, like he was afraid to hear the answer, “Would you still love Legosi… if he had to eat meat?”

 

She slapped him.

 

Louis reeled back, hand against his injured cheek, “Ow! What was that for?!”

 

Haru just stared at him, aghast, “What kind of fucking question is that??”

 

Louis rubbed his face, “A serious one! If Legosi has to eat meat -”

 

Haru snapped, “If you ask me that again, I will hit you again!”

 

Louis said, “I’m not explaining myself well.”

 

Haru complained, “You really aren’t, and honestly, the fact you even need to ask that question is insulting . Do I really look that fragile to you??”

 

Louis hesitated, and took in the image of that indomitable rabbit. 

 

He said, “…No. You don’t. …But, I used to be. I don’t know! The doctor said a lot of things about carnivores, and they made me really worried about Legosi and I don’t know what to do! I don’t know who to talk to! Legosi looks healthy, right?”

 

Haru stared at him suspiciously. “He looks that way, yes. But I think we’ve all learned that appearances can be deceiving.”

 

Louis started over. “I can’t get it out of my head. The doctor was saying… he said, adult carnivores need meat to be healthy. They don’t just ‘like’ it. It’s not just something that tastes good to them. Carnivore bodies work different. Their bodies need the chemicals, the compounds from meat. It’s how their digestive systems evolved…”

 

“…So if Legosi isn’t eating any meat… then it doesn’t matter how much Legosi eats other food. His body isn’t actually getting the right nutrition. The doctor said it can be like starving, but slowly.”

 

That was the most worrisome part about it: that Legosi could be suffering and the two of them would never know. 

 

Legosi would never, ever admit to something like that. 

 

Haru’s ears were lower then. “But he panics around meat.”

 

Louis said, “Yes.”

 

Haru was trying to connect multiple ideas in a very short time period. “If Legosi needs meat, I’m fine with that. Him being ‘safe’ or not was your hang-up, not mine. But … it’s Legosi. He gets upset at the concept of eating meat.”

 

Louis squeezed his head, “I know! I know, and that’s, that’s the problem! If I talk to him right now, he’ll get down on himself and beat himself up about being carnivore. He’s been working so hard on his self-esteem and mental health! I don’t want to set him back by saying the wrong thing! I don’t want him thinking he’s a bad person!”

 

Haru insisted, “Legosi isn’t a bad person. He’s a great person.”

 

Louis agreed, “ I know that and you know that, but Legosi sometimes doesn’t! Legosi doesn’t see himself the way we see him! Legosi might be fine! That’s true, too! And we can hope he is, and maybe he is, but Gouhin also said Legosi has an insignificantly small chance of being a carnivore that can get by without meat. He said that, in all likelihood, Legosi should have started eating meat years ago.”

 

Haru stopped him, “Wait, time out. Years? What do you mean years?”

 

Louis tried to word it right, “The doctor said, carnivores start getting hungry for meat in puberty. But most carnivores don’t get their first bite of meat till they’re already adults… and for some of them, that’s too late.”

 

Haru repeated, now more concerned, “Too late for what ? Louis, what are you not saying?”

 

Louis looked scared. “If Legosi needs meat, and he goes too long without it, there’s a chance he could get sick. And even if he doesn’t hurt anyone else… he could end up hurting himself. Gouhin showed me all these photos, of carnivores who started hurting themselves… or eating themselves… because they didn’t want to hurt herbivores.”

 

Haru whispered the painful realization, “Legosi would never hurt herbivores…”

 

Louis agreed, “He wouldn’t.”

 

But… would Legosi hurt himself, to protect them?

 

They couldn’t answer that. 

 

Louis whispered, “I don’t know what to do. I want to be good for him, but I don’t know how to help him right now. I’m not even sure how to talk to him about it, without making him feel bad. I’m terrified I’ll say the wrong thing. And Gouhin has a bad bedside manner, too. I don’t want him to say the wrong thing either…”

 

“…I need to work with the gumis. That’s not just about Yafya and Gosha. They know meat. So if I work with them… maybe I can figure something out. And, and I never expected or wanted Legosi to join me, but maybe Legosi can see… needing meat wouldn’t make him a bad person, either.”

 

It felt harder for Louis to breathe. Haru reached over, and held his hand.

 

Haru said slowly, “I get it. I don’t want to hurt Legosi or his self-esteem either. But we can’t put off that conversation. We need to talk to him - soon. ‘All carnivores eventually use the market’ - that’s what people always say. So, I always figured Legosi might go there one day, too. I’m not going to abandon him for that. I want him to be healthy, too - mentally, and physically.”

 

A small laugh slipped from Haru’s mouth as she remembered something. She asked, “You, uh, you know what’s funny?”

 

Louis frowned at the ground. “Not right now, I don’t.”

 

The rabbit smirked at the old memory. “There was a time when you really were ‘scheming’ to get Legosi eating meat…”

 

Louis remembered their old conversation, way back when he first realized he liked Legosi. He thought seeing Legosi eat meat would fix his horny herbivore brain. 

 

Her reaction back then had been to smack him with a pillow. 

 

The nostalgia was just enough to make Louis smile. He held two fingers close together and joked, “We can have a little ‘scheme’?”

 

Haru sighed playfully, “We can have a little ‘scheme’… And I need to start talking to that doctor myself, so send me his number.”

 

Louis nudged her affectionately. “I‘ll text it to you. Legosi and I were going to meet him this evening anyway.”

 

Haru’s expression then sterned itself again. 

 

She grabbed him by the tie, threatened him with a finger, “I just want to be clear: I was making a joke to lighten a tense conversation. We are not slipping Legosi meat. We are not tricking him in any form. We are talking to him in an adult, rational manner about his health, at an appropriate time. We are supporting him.”

 

Louis smirked, “Yes, yes. I was joking, too.”

 

Haru added, “We are loving him, and standing by him, meat or no meat.”

 

Louis sighed out, “And he’s apparently standing by me in the market whether I want him to or not. I really hope Gouhin is able to help tonight. He says he has a treatment plan.”

 

Haru, too, was starting to form a plan. 

 

Haru eventually wondered, “…Do you think that doctor needs an intern?”

……

In his clinic office, Gouhin insisted, “No, I do not need an intern! That is a terrible idea!”

 

Haru was alone with him and pleaded across his desk, “Oh come on! You’re going to be working with both of my boyfriends! You can work with me, too!”

 

Gouhin said, “You are a very tiny herbivore! Your boyfriends shouldn’t have even brought you here! My clinic is for carnivores struggling with their predatory instincts! You would be in danger from every patient brought in here!”

 

Haru insisted, “I can take care of myself; I know how to shoot a gun!”

 

Gouhin was appalled, “I don’t want you to shoot a gun! I’m trying to help people, not shoot them!”

 

Haru waved it off, “Then a tranq gun. Give me one of those.”

 

Gouhin gestured wildly, “That’s not how tranquilizers work! They don’t drop people that fast! Why am I even discussing this with you??”

 

Haru insisted, “Because I’m persistent, intelligent, mature and open-minded, and I’m dating a mob boss’ only grandson - and if I can’t wear you down, I’ll wear him down, and then where will we be?”

 

Gouhin said, “In a building filled with struggling carnivores! That is exactly the last place I want you to be!”

 

Haru crossed her arms and glared. “Gun training was just with Louis, but I’ve been training with Legosi, too. We’ve been going on runs and playing tag for months. I know how to avoid getting caught by carnivores, and how to use the terrain to my advantage. They can’t eat me if they can’t touch me. I’m not helpless.”

 

Gouhin had to take a very deep breath to control himself. He admitted, “Listen, I get that you care about your boyfriends, and you want to be involved, and I hate to have to say this, but they are both bigger and stronger than you. Even then, Louis will be in a constant state of danger. Even he is small! The only reason I’m giving Louis any room in this at all is because he is a Beastar, and will have Legosi with him at all times.”

 

Haru grabbed onto that line of thought. “Then I just need to be with you at all times, and I’ll be safe.”

 

Gouhin growled, “That is not what I said! I couldn’t do my job if I had a walking bomb like you around!”

 

Haru leaned aggressively over the desk, “Do you have any idea what it’s like being a small herbivore??”

 

Gouhin insisted, “I am a licensed psychiatrist. Yes, I have ‘ideas.’ I’ve taken entire semesters and seminars on small herbivore psychology.”

 

Louis’ sign from the other day was still bouncing in her brain, propelling her to do more.

 

[Good carnivores stand up to bad carnivores, and good herbivores need to stand up to bad herbivores, too.]

 

Yafya was a threat one way or another.

 

Haru was still glaring. She stated calmly, “Maybe you don’t know what it’s like being in a constant state of danger, but I do. My life has always been in danger. Out of all my siblings, I was always the shortest, the smallest, so I have always had my parents telling me, ‘You have to be careful! A carnivore could eat you up in one bite!’ That’s the shadow that has always been over my life!”

 

Gouhin sighed heavily. “Kid, listen -”

 

Haru snapped, “No, you listen! I have grown up in a society where people are always feeling sorry for me, people who only see me as a defenseless creature who’s bound to get killed! I’ve done a lot of living on my own, to live my life to the fullest as a small herbivore. But I am a part of this world, too! I know: I could be eaten by a carnivore at any time…”

 

“…and that’s true whether I’m working with you or not! So I’m not being stupid, or reckless! I have people who matter to me! Legosi matters to me! Other carnivores matter to me! What Yafya is doing is fucked up and wrong! I can’t do nothing while Louis and Legosi are both doing something! I don’t want to be a bystander! Helping them is not just my right, it’s my obligation!”

 

Gouhin’s eyes were trying to look through her bravado.

 

Haru started again, and this time, she bowed her head, “Please. I won’t be a bother to you. Teach me how to help carnivores.”

 

Gouhin leaned back in his chair and rubbed roughly at his forehead. “You kids are all way too dramatic… but … I don’t hate your passion. And, I suppose … if you were around, I could diagnose a reaction in a struggling carnivore…”

 

Haru threw her hands up, “Yes!”

 

Gouhin was trying not to smile. He reluctantly offered, “I guess I could use a notetaker…”

 

The rabbit smirked, “I’ll be the best notetaker you’ve ever had.”

 

The old bear reached towards a bookcase off to the side, trailing his fingers along titles before finding two books that would work. He handed them both over, and explained, “That one is on medical documentation and shorthand, basic information only, cause it’s changing all the time. Read fast. I’ll schedule you some hours once you’ve finished. One of my associates can pass you some information regarding privacy laws as well.”

 

Haru glanced at the first quickly, then at the bigger second book. She read the title, “ The Need for Meat ?”

 

Gouhin complained, “The Minister of Beast Harmony banned that - don’t let people know you have it. I want it back - but if you’re looking for a crash course on carnivore health, it’s the best. It covers the biology and the psychology of meat-eating. The first book should help you read the second, but it’s been a while since I read it. Some parts might be too complicated for the layperson.”

 

Haru was already looking through the table of contents. “If I run into something I don’t understand, I know how to use zoozle, and the school has a big library.”

 

Gouhin looked out the window and sighed again. “This is still a terrible idea. But if you want to learn? Fine. Here’s your first lesson: some mental health disorders can actually be symptoms of other diseases. So we always want to check a person’s health and bloodwork when we engage a client. This applies to Legosi, too. I had to do some tests on him anyway, so let’s go get your boyfriends…”

Chapter 42: Pride?

Summary:

"But Therbear, you certainly can't have Legosi's canon meat meditation be therapeutically valuable from a real world perspective, can you?"

*stretches fingers over keyboard* "I can try."

Who's up for learning Name Signs with Agata?

Man, canon gave all these kitties rough backstories.

Louis and Legosi were waiting for Haru in a separate room of the clinic. 

 

Legosi had been handling some questionnaires and forms, the usual paperwork for new clients. Louis was perusing pamphlets, skimming information, trying to just be available for emotional support.

 

Legosi hadn’t been in Gouhin’s clinic since that one terrible night, when he had a panic attack and ran from the other drama club carnivores. 

 

One of the Dokugumi was just outside in the hallway, standing around protectively while the three were in the building.

 

The building as a whole was a bit noisier these days. With Gosha’s help, the place was shaping up to be a real medical center. More carnivores were being treated in secure rooms. Gouhin had more staff assisting as well - actual health professionals, and gumi for muscle.

 

But this room was private and quiet, so Gouhin could talk to Legosi about a treatment plan. 

 

Gouhin told the wolf, “First things first: I’ll need to conduct a number of blood tests. Now that I’m actually working with you as a patient, it’s important for me to do an analysis of your bloodwork, see how your vitals are looking for myself.”

 

Legosi nodded once. He signed, [Okay.] He’d had to do that for other places already.

 

Gouhin then explained, “A treatment plan is a collaboration. We discuss what you want to work on - what your personal goals are - but we’ve already done that unofficially so I’m going to save us some time. I’m going to go over something called exposure therapy, also called desensitization therapy  - and I’ll be honest, it won’t be pleasant, and your PTSD will complicate it - but if you want rapid change for your specific triggers, it’s your best bet. It’s used a lot for fears and phobias.”

 

Legosi sat still with his jaw tight. Haru was sitting on his left now and Louis on his right. 

 

Haru was attentive, open, listening - and already taking notes on her phone. 

 

Louis was more vocal about his concern. He tried to tell Legosi, “You don’t have to do this. We could always -”

 

[No,] Legosi signed, trying to take a deeper breath. [There's no way I’m letting you work with the Shishigumi alone.] He gestured for Louis to interpret, [I want to get better. Fast.]

 

Gouhin clarified, “Exposure therapy is about being exposed to a fear or trigger in a controlled way. You practice relaxation and meditation simultaneously, maybe some cognitive behavioral therapy. You’ve already been exposing yourself to your triggers already: you’ve been near the Shishigumi several times. I'm sure their presence is triggering for you.”

 

Legosi swallowed. He admitted, [They do smell like meat … and I’m always seeing their fangs, when they get close…]

 

Gouhin nodded along as Louis interpreted. The bear added, “You’ve had to manage those experiences on your own so far. Exposure therapy is more professional, more controlled. Control is part of it. There are two major forms: the first is slow, and progressive…”

 

“…You start small, you expose yourself to a photo or image of the trigger, giving your body the chance to tolerate and adapt to the image first. But I think you’re already past using pictures, when it comes to felines.” 

 

Legosi gave a slow nod. Tao had unintentionally been helping with that, too.

 

Gouhin continued, “Then you progress further, maybe to a video, or to a small form of the trigger in real life. Say you had a phobia of heights: after acclimating to a photo or video, we’d start a few feet off the ground, and then work our way upwards. Again, we’d be using therapeutic techniques concurrently…”

 

“…There is no getting around that this is unpleasant, but in this way, you can experience the trigger in a controlled, gradual way, raising your tolerance. You are always in control. If you want to stop, that is your choice. Being in control is an important part of the process. This doesn’t work if you don’t feel in control.”

 

Control. Right… 

 

Legosi already looked like the idea was bothering him. Discomfort was settling underneath his fur, he was trying to think less of the market and his experiences at the Shishigumi’s mansion. He asked, [You said there are two kinds?]

 

Gouhin nodded. “The other form is called flooding. It’s … well, unpleasant is an understatement. It’s being exposed to the trigger in a powerful, intense way. It’s designed to be overwhelming - to force your body to normalize the presence of the trigger - hence the term, flooding. The client is flooded with the object of fear or trigger -” 

 

Louis recoiled, “That sounds sick!”

 

Haru whispered, “Louis, he didn’t finish talking.”

 

The bear didn’t waver. Gouhin agreed calmly, “Yes, it can sound sick. Though, you don’t just shove someone in the deep end and hope they swim. That would be irresponsible and unethical. It is still supposed to be a controlled, therapeutic experience - and it has to be voluntary - but I’ll be honest, I’m still uncomfortable with the idea of flooding myself. Working with fears and triggers, there’s a very fine line between beneficial and traumatic.”

 

Louis crossed his arms and insisted, “We aren’t doing anything that could traumatize Legosi again. He’s worked too hard already.”

 

Gouhin said, “Agreed. But it’s important to make an informed decision, so I needed to mention both. In regards to a fear of heights, sometimes flooding is as simple as doing therapeutic techniques at the top of a tall building or high window…”

 

“…Both kinds are about normalizing the trigger, to help retrain the body and mind to not panic when exposed. If we walked Legosi into the back alley market right now, after everything he’s been through, that would be flooding him. I don’t want to do that to him. So I’ve developed a gradual treatment plan.”

 

Gouhin walked over to a small medical refrigerator, and took out two wrapped-up vials.

 

He set them both down on the table in front of them.

 

Gouhin explained, “There are three things we can do to build up your tolerance. I need to see how you two handle my patrols anyway, so on patrols, I can bring along one of the Shishigumi. Legosi can spend time with them. There are also these vials. One has carnivore blood. One has herbivore blood. They’ve been treated to last some time, but we’ll need to replace them eventually. I shouldn’t have to tell you this, but keep them away from other carnivores.”

 

Legosi was looking at the vials suspiciously, leaning a bit away. [What am I supposed to do with those?] He then quickly added, [I’m not drinking those.]

 

He was adamant about that.

 

Gouhin sighed and explained as much to the wolf as the others, “No, you’re not drinking them. You’ll need to sniff these, every so often - maybe a few times a day. Your mind needs to normalize the experience of smelling blood, so they’re not associated just with trauma. I also have pictures of meat. You’ll need to look at them, and normalize the experience of seeing meat…”

 

“…Then, when you’re ready to move on, we can begin exposing you to a small piece of real meat. We can do that in a room here. You’ll need to see and smell it - again, so they’re not associated just with trauma . Then we’d eventually move on to a larger piece, maybe even a bloody piece, before eventually going into the market itself.”

 

Legosi’s nose wrinkled in a grimace. [Where would you get meat like that?]

 

Gouhin just pointed out the window, “The market is a stone’s throw that way. I’d just get Gosha to pay for it. Our work might end up taking us closer to it anyway - if something bad happens on patrol and we need to get involved - but at least, as a treatment plan, I think this is how we should proceed. At the end of the day though, doing this is still up to you. You’re the one in control. You set the pace.”

 

Louis still didn’t like it, but this was Legosi’s choice. The red deer wrapped an arm around Legosi’s back, a protective gesture.

 

Haru looked uncomfortable, too, but she felt like she’d already pushed Gouhin’s goodwill enough today. 

 

She tried to offer Legosi some help, “There’s a minifridge in the garden club room. You could store them there. Maybe sniff them once on lunch break, and then after school ends? If you’re up for that?”

 

That didn’t help the look on Legosi’s face. 

 

His eyes were moving with purposeful thought. His features were tense, clearly, trying to process the ideas for himself. 

 

Which outweighs the other: my nerves, or my desire to see Louis safe with my own two hands?

 

It wasn’t that hard, when he thought of it like that. 

 

He wasn’t going to like it. He knew, he was going to dislike all of it… but for Louis?

 

Legosi tried to take a slow breath in, and blew it back out. He did that twice more. He started to sign, [I made a promise to myself: to not let any of this keep me from the life I want. I want to help Louis, so…]

 

His big hand wrapped slowly around the vial of carnivore blood. […So let’s get started…]

……

It was up to Louis to explain things to the school. “Legosi, Haru and I are working for the Sublime Beastar.”

 

Gon … couldn’t really debate that. Neither could the dorm mothers. Cherryton’s Beastar was being called to duty - and so was the runner-up.

 

It wasn’t even a lie. Louis told Yafya what they needed to work part-time for Gosha, and Yafya put his stamp on the project.

 

Louis found some irony in that.

 

It wasn’t too hard to sell Haru’s involvement either. Beastars often had assistants and always had underlings, and another herbivore seeded in Gouhin’s operations? It made sense, to Yafya.

 

Yafya only asked: “Why would she care?”

 

Louis smirked terribly over the phone. “She’s my girlfriend - or I suppose, my friend with benefits, until I really settle down with a nice red deer. Being my friend comes with many benefits. She came up with the idea herself.”

 

It was crazy enough to admit that Yafya bought that story, too. 

 

Gon had to give in, when it came to the highest authority in the land. So the three of them got a little more grace in handing in homework, and preparing for tests. It also meant they could get around little things like school curfew. 

 

They planned it all out with Gosha and Gouhin. They’d start the day at Cherryton, attending classes like normal. Louis continued working with the drama club, but he made it clear he wasn’t planning to be the star actor anymore. 

 

Juno had been getting better all the while, Bill was surprisingly graceful about cheering her on, and it sounded like they’d be getting new members soon, too. 

 

Some people were even saying that Juno could be a Beastar, too, when it was her year. 

 

Haru and Legosi only spent half of their club time gardening. Considering she’d been the only one gardening for three years? She had always been in charge of how much energy she put into it. She and Legosi just downsized a little, selling some of their more time-consuming plant projects. 

 

Tao, however, was not so happy. There may have been some begging. 

 

The panther felt he’d gotten so much stronger in the last few months, thanks to Legosi, but Legosi wouldn’t have time to train him and Aoba after drama club anymore. 

 

They might be able to slip in a session here and there, but Legosi had to prioritize some time for homework. Aoba and Tao would have to start sparring on their own. They had to be smart about this. Training Tao and Aoba was an extracurricular he could no longer afford. 

 

He and Haru crammed some homework into their club time, sitting in the garden or the club room together. It was a sense of normalcy for them in an ocean of upheaval. 

 

But afterwards? It was a very different series of events.

 

They’d slip on good clothes, Legosi would get out ( his security blanket ) the sword, and a black car would be there by the front gates to pick them up.

 

Louis and Haru kept saying that Legosi looked great in the red shirt. It made the wolf’s fur extra fluffy with modesty.

 

Gosha insisted the two boys start out with something simple: just joining the patrols around the market. Gosha was still being a protective grandfather about it. Gosha and Gouhin both thought that was best for now, for Legosi to just be near the market, but not actually walking inside of it. 

 

Legosi had his emergency medicine, in case something really bad set him off. They’d build up toward Legosi being more involved in the midst of the real meat market. 

 

But Legosi didn’t have a problem with patrolling at all. 

 

It was mostly just walking around for three hours, making sure people were ‘safe.’ People would even say hi, speak to Gouhin by name.

 

It was also something ‘safe’ for Louis to tell Yafya. 

 

Louis called him about it one night: “They’ve set up three kinds of patrol around the market. Each of the patrols have their own purpose. The first kind is meant to be visible. It’s just to be a visible presence, so good guys and bad guys both know that help is walking around. The way they tell it, good carnivores are in just as much danger as herbivores in the back alleys.”

 

Yafya scoffed, “I’m surprised they know the difference between good and bad.”

 

Louis clarified, “Gouhin and Gosha make them know the difference, or they don’t get on patrols, period. Either way, the first patrols are bigger, and stick to the ground. They’ve been doing this for a few weeks, so people are getting used to seeing them around.”

 

Yafya asked, “And how exactly is that working with the other gumis? I can’t imagine they’re pleased with the new law in town.”

 

Louis admitted, “From what I've heard, the Madaragumi is pissed. It sounds like they were about to make some big moves in the back alley, before Gosha took charge. Gosha has changed the playing field considerably. The Inarigumi seem to be adopting a wait-and-see approach. They agree to the importance of the patrols, they just don’t think the Shishigumi can be trusted. Couldn’t tell you about the others.”

 

Yafya grumbled, “That tracks with my agents. You said there are three kinds. What are the others?”

 

Louis explained, “The second kind of patrol involves more subterfuge. Those patrols stick to the rooftops. It’s their job to not be visible on the ground level, unless somebody is getting violent. They swoop in if someone needs protecting.”

 

Yafya sighed heavily. “They’re pretending to be cops. I’d laugh if they weren’t all criminals.”

 

Louis stated, “I’m just reporting what I’ve been told. I’m not on those patrols yet, so I can’t verify it. Gouhin is the one who decides who is allowed on each patrol. That was part of the agreement with Gosha. We can’t rush that. But Legosi is fast, and quiet, and probably one of the better fighters they’ve got. We’ll be on the second patrol soon enough. It’s the third kind of patrol where things get a bit more … complicated.”

 

Yafya impatiently demanded, “Just say it already. I don’t have time to beat around the bush.”

 

Louis wanted to phrase it right. “Do you know much about Gouhin’s clinic?”

 

Yafya sounded annoyed instead, “He’s in an extremely gray area of the law. He forces therapy on meat-crazed carnivores. Mandated therapy is nothing new; people with schizophrenia and severe cases of bipolar can both be mandated, and so can some people with aggressive tendencies. Gouhin gets sent some of the worst carnivores from around the country as well. Sometimes, he’s even successful in fixing them, which is more than I can say for the detectives downstairs.”

 

“Detective is like it,” Louis explained. “Gouhin knows what to look for, certain signs and symptoms. So those patrols are more like … bounty hunters, I guess. Gouhin gives them information, like a BOLO, and they’re charged with bringing those carnivores in for help. He only trusts a few people to do that right now, as he wants it done as nonviolently as possible. Gouhin has an eye for that, too - just the one eye. He lost the right one trying to do this alone, before Gosha forced his gumis to help.”

 

Yafya’s voice rose, “ Gosha did?”

 

“Yes,” Louis said, noticing the change. “Gouhin may have final say about the patrols, but it was Gosha’s idea to start them.”

 

Yafya still didn’t believe it, “And why would he do that?”

 

Louis said slowly, “Because Gosha knew the back alleys needed fixing. The violence isn’t helping anyone, gumi or not, carnivore or herbivore. So Gosha appealed to their wallets: if the gumis make the alleys safer, more money will flow into the market and then everyone profits, including them…”

 

“…With two gumis and an alliance with Gouhin’s clinic, Gosha says he finally has the manpower and means to curb some of the violence, and get sick carnivores off the street before they hurt themselves or anyone else.”

 

Yafya was quiet for longer. 

 

Louis asked, “Sir?”

 

Yafya complained, “Nothing. Keep studying them. Get on that third patrol. Learn their methods and identities. I want to know how they’re grabbing people.”

 

Louis agreed, “That’s the plan. Just as soon as Legosi is ready…”

…… 

Agata was up first.

 

Gouhin made a tactical decision with that. The dark-furred lion had a certain look about his face, the nice smile he had, that just made him seem less threatening. He was the best choice for Legosi to spend a few hours with, if the wolf wanted to get comfortable with Shishigumi.

 

Gouhin was still leading, looking for threats as they circled the back alley market, but there was no harm in talking a little. 

 

Gouhin had a big net on a pole that he carried lightly over his shoulder.

 

Louis was the first to ask, “How old are you?”

 

Agata just smiled, “Oh, I’m 25. You?”

 

“18,” Louis answered. “Legosi’s still 17. 25 seems … rather young to be so involved in the Shishigumi.”

 

Agata said casually, “Oh, I joined around your age. A lot of us did.”

 

Louis frowned at that. “Did they draft you?”

 

Agata laughed, “Nothing like that. They were just … there for me.”

 

Louis was still frowning, and Legosi joined him in that. Louis said, “I’m not sure I understand. They’re gangsters.”

 

Agata gave a hearty shrug, “Well, yeah, but they were lions first. They understood how things were going for me.”

 

Even Gouhin was frowning at that.

 

Agata scratched the back of his mane self-consciously, “Ah, sorry. I’m not explaining it well. It’s just … well, we’re lions. But there’s a certain pressure to be exactly one kind of male lion - a ‘king of beasts’ - and it’s just hard growing up like that. Most of us were the only lions in our class. My grades were terrible, but I still got picked as my class rep. Everybody just expects us to be … one way. And our relationships with our family aren’t always the best either.”

 

Louis laughed, “I hear you there. I’m still trying to figure things out with my father, but I was never able to get close to him. My father raised me to be the absolute best, no matter what. He tried to do right by me, but he didn’t know how to be a dad. I don’t think anyone in his family did.”

 

Agata nodded along. “For me, it was my mom. My dad was … okay. But my mom was a tyrant. She was just mean and nasty, all the time. I couldn’t wait to get away from her. I started being a bit of a delinquent in high school. Maybe I wanted to piss her off. Or, maybe I wanted dad to care. But then I found the Shishigumi, and they knew what it was like. Ibuki, Dolph and Free, they treated me to dinner, and,” Agata paused, and glared, “Hey! I’m not crazy!”

 

Legosi had been signing to Louis. They’d been glancing at each other while listening to Agata. 

 

Louis smirked, “Oh, he didn’t sign ‘crazy’.”

 

Agata glared, “Everyone knows that sign. That was the sign for ‘crazy’.”

 

Louis explained casually, “Yes, if he did it a different way. Legosi did it with the letter ‘F.’ It’s a name sign.”

 

Gouhin burst out laughing.

 

Agata blinked. “You lost me.”

 

Louis had to explain, “Legosi doesn’t want to have to fingerspell everyone’s names when we’re talking about the Shishigumi, and there’s a lot of you. So he’s started giving them name signs, and teaching me them. It’s like a form of shorthand, for names. But they’re always personal, and you’re supposed to get one from a Deaf person. You don’t give yourself one. Well, Legosi sort of counts.”

 

Agata was suspicious. “And Free’s name sign is ‘crazy’ but with the letter ‘F’?”

 

Legosi and Louis gave the sign again, at the same moment. 

 

Agata slowly started smirking again. “…It fits.”

 

Gouhin was still laughing a little, that bass rumble.

 

Agata asked, “And what about that other motion?” He tried to show which one he meant. 

 

Louis explained, “That’s for Dolph. Well, technically it’s fingerspelling ‘DX’, but Legosi and I can fingerspell pretty fast.”

 

Agata guessed, “‘X,’ like his scar?”

 

Legosi nodded awkwardly, embarrassed. He signed a little more.

 

Louis clarified for him, “Legosi doesn’t know Dolph very well yet, so we’re just using that as a placeholder for now. Name signs aren’t usually about physical features, but Dolph’s scar is immediately recognizable.”

 

Gouhin was smiling, too, but he warned them, “I reserve the right to veto any name sign you give me.”

 

Louis laughed, “Oh, Legosi doesn’t know you well enough either. You’re just ‘GH’.”

 

Gouhin looked at them suspiciously. “Ah-huh. Sure. You keep it professional.”

 

Legosi started signing again, [Sorry for interrupting. We really were listening.]

 

Louis had to interpret that and added, “It just helps to repeat the signs so we remember.”

 

Agata laughed, all fangs wide, “Ah, it’s no sweat. You guys probably have a lot more to worry about than me. I was just complaining.”

 

Legosi was looking at Agata, and signed again, [It sounded like it was important to you. What happened after that?]

 

Agata smiled again. “I got a home.”

……

Things didn’t go right, on the third day of patrols.

 

Ibuki was the one who showed up this time. That was the first thing. 

 

Gouhin frowned immediately. “What’s this? Where’s Dope?”

 

Ibuki explained easily, “Injury. I can fill in for him.”

 

Gouhin had a soft spot for Dope: the lion was young, smart, and way more perceptive than he seemed. His skills were wasted as a gang negotiator. Gouhin kept encouraging him to go back to school.

 

Dope didn’t think it was possible. 

 

Gouhin’s usual bluster was momentarily softened by concern. “Is he okay? What happened?”

 

Ibuki replied, “Madaragumi. He’ll be alright, but if something happens, he’s in no state to get into another fight right now. It isn’t safe for him to patrol. He gave me his gear for the night.”

 

Gouhin was still grumbling, and glanced back at Legosi. The panda said, “I appreciate you lot being smart, but the Shishigumi does not decide these things. I do.”

 

Ibuki stated, “It just happened a little bit ago. If you wish, you can call someone else. I am merely offering my services since I was in the neighborhood.”

 

Legosi waved a hand several times, to get their attention. Louis interpreted for him, [Gouhin, I know you’re trying to be considerate of me, but I’ll be okay if it’s Ibuki.]

 

Gouhin was eyeing up the older cat in suspicion. He asked Legosi, “You sure?”

 

The wolf nodded. [Ibuki is a good man.]

 

Louis interpreted that, too, but it came out like a question: “Ibuki is a good man?”

 

The lion gave a small laugh. “I appreciate the vote of confidence, but I’m no such thing.”

 

Legosi had a small smirk. [Well, I think you are.]

 

Gouhin complained, “Let’s just get moving already.”

 

Ibuki ended up in front alongside Gouhin.

 

They’d been patrolling for a few minutes - the usual slow route circling the market - when Louis had to ask the question.

 

Louis asked Legosi, [What did you mean by that, back there? That Ibuki is a good man?]

 

Legosi glanced again at the lion in front of them. [When Gosha stormed the mansion, he had to negotiate with the Shishigumi. Ibuki was there.]

 

Louis asked, [And what, he was nice about it?]

 

Legosi gave a breathy pulse of a laugh. [I don’t know if ‘nice’ was the right word for it. He slammed Sabu into a wall.]

 

Louis joked, [I’m sure Sabu deserved it. Sabu always looks like he wants to kill someone.]

 

Legosi gave a little tilting nod, [Sort of. But … Ibuki cares. That was the thing that stood out to me. He was worried for the rest of the Shishigumi, that more of them would get killed if they kept fighting. He favored grandpa’s ultimatum, because it would keep his comrades alive.]

 

Louis tried to process that. [I suppose Agata did say Ibuki treated him like family…]

 

Legosi suddenly put his arm straight across Louis’ chest, stopping him in his tracks. The wolf was sniffing sharply at the air.

 

Louis asked aloud, “What’s wrong?” 

 

He wanted Gouhin and Ibuki to hear that. The older men looked back.

 

Legosi pointed down another alleyway, and signed quickly, [Drool. A lot.]

 

Gouhin and Ibuki looked at each other, body language changing quickly for combat. Gouhin adjusted his grip on the net’s pole.

 

Gouhin growled, “Stay back. Do not shoot unless someone’s about to die.”

 

Legosi and Louis still gripped their weapons tighter - Legosi’s sword, Louis’ gun in his pocket. The pair nodded back.

 

They moved quickly then, trying to home in on the scent that Legosi picked up. Legosi was pointing directions, his nose was sharper. Gouhin and Ibuki, they smoked, but they caught the trail eventually. Gouhin gestured for the boys to stay behind him.

 

In a dark alley, a young man - a jaguar - was struggling to stay on his feet. The brick wall looked like he’d scratched them, like he’d needed to dig his claws in just to keep standing. The ground behind him was trailed with his drool.

 

He staggered closer to a garbage can, and gripped it just as tight, claws piercing in. His mouth was drooling like crazy, and he had his eyes scrunched shut. He was trying to focus.

 

Ibuki took the first careful steps forward, with palms raised to show no weapons. He spoke soft, “Hey. Kid. Are you okay?”

 

The jaguar flinched at the first word, looking up at Ibuki with eyes blown wide. Drool was still dripping from his lips like a faucet. Speaking was a struggle, “I - I can’t stop. I can’t stop. My - mouth. I can’t -”

 

Ibuki cooed, “It’s okay. We’re with the clinic. We’ve got a doctor with us.”

 

Ibuki pointed back toward the panda bear with the net. Louis and Legosi were right behind Gouhin, trying to seem less threatening, but the pair were both concerned.

 

Ibuki tried to ask, “Did you have anything to eat or drink recently?”

 

The jaguar was looking more and more scared as he took in the shape of Gouhin’s net. Louis and Legosi could hide their weapons to some degree, but Gouhin’s net was obvious.

 

The jaguar’s claws were digging harder into the garbage can. His hands were visibly straining. “S-sport drink. Energy. F-free sample.”

 

Ibuki said gently, “You might be having a bad reaction. But he’s a doctor. We can get you some help. I’m going to take something out of my pocket now.”

 

The lion carefully took out a kerchief from his pocket. As he unfolded it, the cloth had a thick chemical scent about it. Ibuki held it up, “This is medicated. It will help you calm down and relax. It’ll make you sleepy, so we can get you to the clinic safely.”

 

The jaguar’s fur was bristling. He had more trouble talking, “W-what kind? Wh-which?”

 

Ibuki gave a very soft smile, “I’ll be honest, I don’t know what the chemical is. It’s from the doctor. But he’s great at what he does. He helps carnivores all the time. …Can you please take this, and breath it in for a few seconds? It’ll help us help you.”

 

The jaguar was still eyeing them all up in fear. One hand had to work to let go of the garbage can, claws still out. He couldn’t relax his fingers.

 

Ibuki took another slow step closer, trying to offer the kerchief.

 

The jaguar’s hand was shaking as it got closer, and closer…

 

Ibuki tried to hold as still as possible.

 

There was a frozen second of a moment, when the jaguar had almost grabbed it.

 

And then the second passed, the jaguar’s eyes locked right onto Louis, and something cracked.

 

The jaguar tried to lunge forward.

 

Ibuki got in the way, huge feline body trying to hold and wrestle the smaller cat.

 

The jaguar was hissing and snarling, scratching all up and down Ibuki’s arms, shredding his sleeves.

 

Ibuki was trying to grab his wrists, hold him back, ducking his head this way and that to avoid getting bit. 

 

Gouhin rushed forward to help.

 

The jaguar’s wild struggling saw his head lurch forward, smash into Ibuki’s forehead, and it dazed the lion. Ibuki lost his grip.

 

The jaguar got away, nearly on all fours, ran toward Louis.

 

Gouhin tried to sweep his legs, get him with the net. The cat weaved aside.

 

The jaguar crashed into Gouhin’s knee, knocked Gouhin painfully off his feet. 

 

Gouhin swiped at him again, missed, the cat kept running. The jaguar had eyes only for Louis, eyes for nothing else.

 

Not even Legosi. 

 

Legosi grabbed the cat by an arm, and a shoulder, and smashed the cat’s chest flat to the ground.

 

The jaguar started a mad struggle again, but Legosi was bigger, fiercer. Legosi caught the cat’s wrists, pinned him flat to the ground with the wolf’s whole body weight.

 

Ibuki tossed the kerchief to Louis, and Louis got down to cover the jaguar’s snout with it, trying to be careful of the cat trying to bite through it. 

 

Louis kept his voice gentle, like it was any other stage role,  “We are going to help you. I promise. That is all we’re here for. Just breathe. Just breathe, and relax. You’ll be safe. We’re going to keep you safe, and take care of you. We promise. You’re going to be okay. We are here to help.”

 

At some point, the jaguar’s eyes stopped looking so crazed, and just scared. The jaguar was looking up at Louis, guilt and sorrow reflected in his feline eyes, and the cat started crying.

 

Louis looked at Legosi, the wolf worried and firm, and Louis promised the cat again. “We’re here to help. You’re going to be alright.”

Chapter 43: The emergency date

Summary:

You ever see a trio dance? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W5MpIyTxsUQ

Yeah, Legosi ain't pulling that off yet. lol

Notes:

Comments keep me writing. :)

Gouhin warned them, “Not too long. Don’t use the cloth too long.”

 

Louis quickly pulled the medicated cloth away.

 

The jaguar was asleep on the ground now.

 

He still looked sad.

 

Gouhin was limping slightly, using the pole of the net to help him get closer. Gouhin explained, “That stuff can knock out much bigger carnivores than him. You have to be very careful with it. But I can teach you more about that later.”

 

The old bear began a very quick examination of the cat’s vitals, trying to verify his condition. He took some medical device out of his pocket, too, to track blood and oxygen.

 

Louis looked over at Ibuki, and his wounds from the fight. The lion’s arms were pretty cut up, his sleeves in tatters. 

 

Ibuki took off his suit jacket first, then rolled up his shirt sleeves. He was trying to get the ruined cloth away so he could inspect the clawed up skin himself. Louis wasn’t expecting to see tattooed writing on a serious lion like Ibuki. 

 

Louis didn’t know why the words amused him. He read, “Recovery from exhaustion?”

 

Ibuki put on a modest grin, and held up his left arm. “Makes you want to laugh, right?”

 

Legosi was looking too though, and his eyes were more focused on all the blood going down Ibuki’s arms. Legosi’s nostrils flared for breathing in the scent.

 

Ibuki tried to give the wolf a reassuring expression. “It looks worse than it feels, I promise. I’ve had worse.”

 

Gouhin said, “We should still get it treated for infection. He had his claws in trash and who knows what else.”

 

The panda got his phone out, ringing up another group. “Percy, get Eckhardt. We need a pickup. We’ve got injuries.”

 

Gouhin filled them in on a location, more specifics. 

 

Legosi took a moment then, to carefully pick the jaguar up off the ground.

 

Louis thought it was amazing how much smaller the jaguar looked now.

 

Just a teenager. He was probably Legosi’s age, but shorter, slighter. Not a fighter.

 

Gouhin gave Louis and Legosi a satisfied expression. He said, “You two did good. Good restraint.”

 

Legosi gave an awkward, self-conscious shrug with the jaguar in his arms.

 

Louis replied, “It just … didn’t seem right to shoot him.”

 

The red deer looked at Ibuki again, and Louis remembered: “What was it he was saying earlier? About an energy drink? Gouhin, you mentioned something about kopi luwak stimulating meat hunger. Can -?”

 

“No,” Gouhin interrupted. “An energy drink shouldn’t have caused a reaction like that. A little reaction, maybe, but his symptoms were way worse than they should have been. That intensity was chemical.”

 

Ibuki offered, “Shall I ask the others about it? See if they’ve heard anything about a new drink or drug on the street?”

 

Gouhin growled softly as he tried to plan ahead. “Do it.”

……

Gouhin sent them home early. 

 

Part of the patrol was a test, on-the-job training - for Gouhin to see how well the two would manage on it - but Gouhin’s knee was in bad shape after that hit earlier, and he needed to call it quits for the night. 

 

He also had a brand new patient to help.

 

He called in replacements from Gosha’s gumis, to take their place on patrol. 

 

Free ended up driving Louis and Legosi back towards the school. 

 

Legosi sat on the left seat in the back, and Louis sat on the right.

 

On the drive, Legosi was holding tight to the bottle of his emergency medicine, but Louis wasn’t sure if the wolf had taken it yet. 

 

Legosi was mostly watching the city pass by them, but he turned to Louis at one point. 

 

Legosi signed, [That jaguar didn’t want to hurt you, did he?]

 

Louis stated reluctantly, “He would have, if you weren’t there.”

 

Legosi corrected, face concerned, [But he didn’t want to.]

 

The car turned down another street towards Cherryton. 

 

“No,” Louis agreed gently. “I don’t think he wanted to.”

 

Legosi took longer to admit, [I’m glad I caught his scent in time.]

 

Louis did smile more at that. “Bears are supposed to have good noses, but Gouhin has been smoking for who knows how long. Same with Ibuki. He and Ibuki might not have smelled him if you weren’t there.”

 

Legosi nodded slowly. [Yeah… I was thinking that, too…]

 

Louis might have seen a little pride cross Legosi’s face.

 

Louis added, “You were really cool out there.”

 

Legosi looked more modest. […You think so?]

 

Louis said, “I know so.”

 

The car was getting closer to Cherryton. 

 

Then a tiny smirk parted Louis’ lips. “Hey, Free! Are you up for a little evening mischief?”

 

Free spoke without taking his eyes off the road, “I’ve had dreams start like that!”

 

Legosi looked at Louis more firmly, asked, [Louis, what are you doing?]

 

Louis got out his phone fast, and called everyone’s favorite rabbit. His tone itself was playful, “Hey, Haru!~”

 

Haru’s voice came back over the speakerphone like a tired principal, “What did you do now?”

 

Louis teased, “Oh, you know, the usual: saved carnivores in distress.”

 

Haru asked, “Did you get yourself fired that fast?”

 

Louis said, “No, no way. But Gouhin got banged up, so he’s sending us home early tonight. I just figured, we’re all dressed, we’ve got a driver, and you’re still reading those books; you haven’t started at the clinic yet. The evening is ours.” Louis was grinning at Legosi even as he asked Haru, “What do you say? Up for a date?”

 

Legosi looked at him like he was crazy. [Now??]

 

Haru only took a second to decide. “I’ll get on something nice.”

 

Louis looked like a satisfied predator and Legosi was lunch. “Yeah. Now.”

 

Legosi sighed heavily. [You know, the two of you are lucky I have so much stamina. Most people wouldn’t be able to keep up with you two.]

 

Louis teased, “Please, Legosi. Please seduce me with your stamina. You can go for hours, can’t you?”

 

Still driving the car, Free spoke up, “I am a straight man, I love women, and violence, and, Louis, if you keep talking like that, you’re going to seduce me, too.”

 

Louis joked, “Tough luck! I’m a one-carnivore sort of a guy.”

 

Free cackled at that, and Legosi, shaking his head, gave a few breathy laughs as well.

…… 

Louis scooted over to the middle seat, closer to Legosi. Haru hopped into Louis’ seat, wearing relaxed pants and a colorful sweater.

 

Louis teased her, “This is something nice?”

 

Haru was quick to retort, “I have to wear silly white dresses all week for Cherryton. I chose something comfy - and you’ll just have to deal with it.”

 

Legosi said, [I think it looks nice.]

 

Haru smiled, “Thank you, Legosi. You look handsome as always.”

 

Legosi smiled back, [Thank you, Haru. You’re really cute like this.]

 

Louis joked, “I see how it is. Behold the double standards of the system. Legosi and I put all this work into dressing up nice for the mafia -”

 

Legosi waved his hands in front of the deer, trying to get Louis to shut up.

 

Haru teased, “Please let him finish that statement; watching Louis dig his own grave is my new favorite sport!”

 

Louis took hold of one of Legosi’s arms, held it tighter, and said, incorrigibly, “No grave! Legosi saved my life from a jaguar, again!”

 

Legosi gave the deer a tiny glare. [Louis!]

 

Haru let out a sigh. “Three days, huh? You guys couldn’t even manage three days without getting in a fight?”

 

Legosi tried to sign, [We were being safe, I promise!] But Louis was cuddling to the wolf’s arm, making it more difficult. Legosi protested, [Louis, come on…]

 

Louis smirked at the wolf, “Have I reminded you lately? You are extremely attractive when you use that big body of yours, to fight big cats, to fight in my honor. I could undress you right now.”

 

Legosi’s fur was distinctly getting warmer and fluffier. He tried to hide his eyes.

 

Free was whispering a mantra, “I am a straight man, I am a straight man…”

 

Haru started giggling. 

 

Louis had to explain a few more things to Haru, like how it was Legosi who picked up the jaguar’s scent, and when the cat got past Ibuki and Gouhin, it was Legosi who pinned him (safely) down.

 

Louis insisted, “So Legosi saved at least two lives tonight, mine and the jaguar’s - and maybe whoever the guy might have run into.”

 

Legosi protested, [It was a group effort… Louis helped calm the guy down…]

 

Haru sighed dramatically, “Is this the part where I acknowledge your crazy scheme is actually helping people?”

 

Louis said, “No, this is the part where you kiss me and Legosi, and we go dancing.”

 

Smiling Haru gave the deer a quick peck on the cheek. “If I must.”

 

Legosi tried to ask, [Wait, dancing??]

 

Louis was looking at the wolf hungrily. “Dancing. Free! Take us to the most scandalous club you know, where an interspecies poly trio can dance without getting photographed!”

 

Free burst out laughing, “You got it, boss!” 

 

He wheeled the car down a different alley, away from Cherryton.

……

‘Scandalous’ did not prepare Legosi. 

 

(Louis and Legosi left weapons in the car; they wouldn’t need those here.)

 

The bouncer was checking carnivores for their blood alcohol level before even letting them in the door. He didn’t seem to be checking herbivores though. He probably wouldn’t have let the three in at all, but he knew Free. 

 

Free whispered something in the bouncer’s ear (the bouncer’s eyes widened in Legosi’s direction, and he cleared his throat), and that was all that needed to be said.

 

Legosi’s tail was weighted down by uncertainty, but Louis signed, [One hour? Please? We’ll take care of you, I promise.]

 

Haru added in, “And if you’re really upset, we can leave.”

 

Legosi swallowed hard, but nodded. [Just … for a little bit…]

 

They got let in. 

 

Louis grinned again. Louis was leading the charge, and Haru was excitedly pulling the wolf along, holding hands.

 

It was noisier than Legosi liked, and there were a lot more people than he preferred. Herbivores, carnivores, large and small, there were all sorts of people from everywhere.

 

A number of people were topless on the dance floor - men, and women. The shock of it was clear on Legosi’s innocent face. 

 

Overhead lights were dim even as more dynamic lights covered everything around in brighter spots of color.

 

Legosi had smelled alcohol before, but never that much alcohol. Was every carnivore drunk?

 

Legosi thought he was going to be self-conscious here, but the more he looked, the more he noticed other things.

 

Herbivores were dancing with carnivores.

 

There were several large-small pairings, including a bear with a bird.

 

He was almost certain he noticed another trio. Maybe two. 

 

And people of the same-sex were dancing, and kissing each other.

 

In public .

 

There was even grinding.

 

Did this count as public?

 

It was so weird, but Legosi was being led through the club by Louis and Haru both, and the wolf had the strangest realization that the three of them … didn’t actually stand out.

 

A woman came straight towards Free and Legosi, trying to give them clearly alcoholic drinks.

 

Free was fast to grab his and started sipping it - and bumped Legosi’s upwards. The alcohol dumped on the front of Legosi’s shirt. 

 

Louis and Haru both yelled at Free.

 

A new flash of embarrassment hit the wolf’s ears. 

 

Legosi would have left to clean it right then, but Free took hold of the wolf’s arm. He leaned in close to Legosi’s ear and said, “Leave it, or they’ll keep offering you more. You’re supposed to be drunk.”

 

Legosi tried to look at him, like, ‘ What was that supposed to mean? ’

 

Free whispered the same message to Louis and Haru, and added, “It’s a thing. Trust me.”

 

The wild lion shot them with a pair of finger-guns, clicking his tongue, then stepped back to sip his own beer. 

 

Legosi tugged at his scarf, suddenly feeling too warm. He gestured at his shirt, signed they should just leave, this was bad enough. 

 

Louis and Haru grinned at each other almost identically, grabbed hold of Legosi’s hands, and finished pulling him out on the dance floor with that whole chaotic mess of people. 

 

Among all those bodies, Louis and Haru started to dance almost immediately, loose and carefree to the music. Louis was loosening his tie.

 

Both of them were making eyes at the wolf.

 

Legosi tugged his arms in closer, nervously glancing at all the many others on the dance floor. This was still uncomfortable.

 

Free started dancing on his own, loosening his shirt buttons. He was vaguely keeping an eye on them.

 

There were so many styles, everyone just having fun, dancing however they wanted to - and many too drunk or too high to care about Legosi.

 

Legosi still felt lost. 

 

The music shifted to another melody.

 

Louis and Haru glanced at each other knowingly. 

 

Louis didn’t bother talking. He took charge again - and grasped the wolf’s hands, to pull Legosi closer. 

 

He helped Legosi take a more romantic pose, to start slow dancing, just to start - just to get Legosi feeling the rhythm. 

 

And then he led Legosi around - leading all that large carnivore, guiding him into a turn here, another twist there. 

 

Louis knew what he was doing, looked so good at anything he did. Legosi could have gotten lost in Louis’ eyes. 

 

But Louis kept looking at Legosi like Legosi was the prettiest thing in the room.

 

Louis switched out with the rabbit, Haru holding Legosi’s hands next. Louis danced by himself.

 

Legosi bent double, dancing with Haru this way and that. Haru looked so impossibly sure of herself, pint-size cuteness with so much more presence.

 

She was so happy and at ease, even surrounded by all these larger animals. She felt safe with that wolf.

 

Another switch, Louis had Legosi standing again, guiding, leading, not just slow dancing, but arms moving this way and that, an unspoken lesson. 

 

Louis had this precision footwork, had to be from drama club. He could dance circles around Legosi, and make Legosi look good in the process.

 

They switched out again, Legosi dancing with Haru, and he ended up on his knees, dancing in place with her.

 

Another switch, and this time Haru danced with Louis. Legosi swayed side to side, feeling the music on his own. 

 

Louis helped Haru through lifts and turns, practically demonstrating them for Legosi, before trading off again.

 

Haru near jumped from Louis’ hands into Legosi’s hands, and Legosi picked her up like she weighed nothing, holding her up in the air. Her movements were all agile and acrobatic in his grip, flowing arms and legs.

 

Legosi danced with her this way and that, and set her back down. But Haru kept wanting to go again, be picked up again, like she could fly in his hands forever. 

 

Legosi danced with her with a permanent smile across his face, as he lifted her up again and again. 

 

The three kept switching out, Legosi getting more graceful all the time. Haru and Louis kept changing who was in the middle of a slow dance with the wolf. 

 

Louis danced around Legosi, sharp and crisp, and Haru did, too, in gentle flowing curves.

 

Legosi was copying their movements before he even knew it, and he didn’t realize his tail was wagging with the beat.

…… 

Ever a terrible enabler, Free parked their car afterwards at some sketchy hotel. 

 

Haru started laughing right away.

 

(Free had only been pretending to drink before.)

 

Louis made an amused expression, “Free, did you really bring us to a love hotel?”

 

Legosi was in enough of a good mood that he ended up laughing, too, all breathy pulses of air.

 

Free was even then in the process of taking off his suit and shirt in the front seat. He complained, “I’m trying to be responsible! It’s cheap!”

 

Louis groaned playfully, “Free, what the fuck are you doing?”

 

Free threw his shirt back to Legosi. He put his suit jacket back on and said, “Hey, I’m not gonna tell you what you can’t do with each other - but Legosi smells like beer and deer - and while he could probably pull that combo off, he lives with dogs! At a school! He’s gotta take a shower and switch shirts before we drop him back at Cherryton.”

 

A happy Legosi swore mostly to himself, [Rex, Gosha can not hear about tonight.]

 

Haru joked, “Free vaguely has something resembling a point.”

 

Louis agreed, “Something tells me if Legosi uses a shower at the mansion like this, the whole Shishigumi is gonna be talking about it.”

 

Legosi ended up joking, [You two think you’re so smart.]

 

Haru smirked, “Yes, usually.”

 

Louis said, “Oh, I know I’m smart. But what am I smart about, right now?”

 

Legosi signed, [You two didn’t want me to end the day with another bad memory, so you guys went out of your way to make it a better night.]

 

Louis said, “I am almost definitely, positively certain that was only 50% of my intentions.”

 

Haru stretched her arms, “Oh, I’m just always down for a date.”

 

Louis motioned with his fingers, “I thought I was allowed to do little schemes. This is a little scheme.”

 

Haru rolled her eyes. “Ah-huh. Sure it is.”

 

Louis added, “Also, Legosi is just hot.”

 

The three of them had a happy laugh about that.

 

Legosi admitted, [A shower wouldn’t be a bad idea. I’ll try not to take too long.]

 

Free, being unable to read the signed part of the conversation, finally said, “You guys have five seconds to stop me from buying you a room. 5 … 4 … 3 …”

 

Louis rolled his eyes, “Free, just buy the room already.”

 

The lion saluted, “I’m on it, boss.~”

Chapter 44: Smart wolf, dumb deer

Summary:

And that rabbit's pretty smart, too.

~Slight notice: while sex things don’t happen, they do talk about sex and sexuality. Possibly NSFW on that basis.~

Legosi had a nice quick scrub in the shower, using the hotel bathroom supplies. 

 

He was trying to hurry, but the wolf did have a lot of fur - and his roommates had fairly good noses. The curse of canid roommates.

 

Trying to dry off afterward was a more difficult task. He eventually had to surrender to the fact that he’d be a little damp. He got his clothes back on, wearing Free’s shirt instead - free of beer stains, thank you very much.

 

Free’s shirt smelled heavily of cat and cologne, but not much else. The cologne helped a lot. Legosi appreciated that.

 

He set his scarf aside for now.

 

Then he came out of the bathroom. 

 

He was interrupting something.

 

On the bed, there was a very quick rush of moving people and fumbling limbs.

 

Legosi’s tail and ears stuck straight up, and he ducked back into the bathroom. 

 

Louis cleared his throat awkwardly from the bed, “Legosi! …You’re done!”

 

Legosi stretched a single arm out of the bathroom, and signed, [Yeah!] Then, with a little more difficulty, he signed with the one hand, [Uh, you two can finish!]

 

The blanket only came up to Louis’ currently bare chest. He relayed that to Haru, “He says we can finish, if we want.”

 

Haru was a hidden mass under the blanket, and now giggling. “No, no! It’s okay! You can join us!”

 

Legosi scratched at the damp fur of his neck. He very hesitantly peered out of the bathroom again, looking all the more flustered. He apologized, [Sorry.]

 

Haru perked up from under the covers, wearing her sweater again. 

 

She said brightly, a blush on her own face, “Aww, you're dressed already!”

 

The wolf averted his eyes in continued self-consciousness. His fingers fumbled a bit, before he managed, [Yeah, I’m … I’m all dressed.]

 

Haru teased, “So we can undress you?~”

 

Legosi choked, [No no. I’m fine. All good. Me.]

 

He started taking careful steps back toward the room’s exit.

 

Louis and Haru shared a terrible smirk. Then Louis scrambled out of the bed - mercifully with his socks on and his pants zipped up.

 

The wolf tried to protest as the half-naked Louis got closer, only for Louis to grab Legosi by the shirt and kiss him roughly on the lips. 

 

Louis had a primal need. 

 

Haru gave an appreciative, playful holler. She even clapped her hands. 

 

Legosi’s brain short circuited for a moment. He melted downwards, passive receiver of Louis’ affections. The red deer was clearly in the mood.

 

Louis was grinning in victory when the kiss ended. “Come on, Legosi. Cuddle time!”

 

Louis half pulled, half pushed Legosi onto the bed. Legosi didn’t really try to resist, and ended up on his back.

 

Haru was quick to give the wolf a kiss of her own, now that he was in reach. Her small fingers stroked through the fluff on his cheeks, then down across his bare neck.

 

Louis moved to cuddle on the other side of the big wolf. 

 

Legosi felt warmer by the second

 

Legosi’s tail was wagging even as he struggled to sign, [Guys, I - I don’t mind. You can have - um - private time. Without me.]

 

Haru and Louis switched like they were taking turns: Louis leaned over the wolf this time, kissing Legosi more insistently on the lips. Haru rubbed at Legosi’s chest, and Louis and Haru were both starting to unbutton the wolf’s shirt. 

 

Legosi melted further down, and nearly froze like that. 

 

Haru tapped Louis on the arm.

 

Louis pulled back just a little, still looking hungrily at the wolf - but his eyes took a note of concern. Louis said, “Sorry. Are you okay?”

 

Legosi nodded weakly. He signed, [Yeah. F-fine. Just … awkward.]

 

Haru looked more serious. She gently rubbed at the wolf’s arm instead. “Communication time?”

 

Legosi swallowed, and signed, [Please?]

 

Louis gave a very soft, guilty murmur. “You don’t need to say please. We don’t have to do anything you aren’t ready for.”

 

Legosi was obvious about his discomfort, whether he was trying to be or not. He admitted, [I don’t know what I’m ready for.]

 

Haru asked, “How do you feel right now?”

 

Legosi had to actually think about it, trying to search his feelings, the way his emotions were sitting in his body. His thoughts were struggling to fit into words. [I feel… complicated.]

 

Louis asked gently, “What kind of complicated?”

 

Legosi looked down at his hands, and fussed with his fingers a bit. He signed small, [I like the kissing. And the cuddling. I like it, when you touch me. But, whenever I think about more … I don’t know.]

 

Haru offered, “Would it help if you wrote it down? Would that help you process it?”

 

Legosi wasn’t sure, but he nodded slightly. It was as good an idea as any. 

 

The pair shifted a bit, so Legosi could get his phone out of his pocket. He stared at it in his hands, like he could use the screen to avoid their gaze.

 

Haru rubbed gently at the wolf’s chest.

 

Legosi liked that, but he still typed, {I’m sorry.}

 

Louis spoke soft and kind, “Hey, none of that. You don’t need to apologize. Emotions are really complicated, and you’ve been through a lot of complicated things.”

 

Legosi’s ears were still pretty low. {I know you want this.}

 

Haru was reassuring, “It’s not about what we want. Yeah, we love you, and we want you - you’re much more attractive than you think you are…”

 

Louis was only half joking, “You’re so sexy, you turned me bi.”

 

Legosi gave a soft breath of a laugh.

 

Haru smirked, too, before finishing her thought: “But as much as we’d like to try naked things with you, you are never responsible or obligated to perform in a sexual manner.”

 

Louis added, “Being partners doesn’t change that, no matter how long we’ve been together - or how horny one of us might be.”

 

Haru laughed. “One of us?”

 

Louis looked proud and joked, “Oh, it’s me. I’m completely horny. It’s the fatal flaw of us horned herbivores.”

 

Haru rolled her eyes.

 

The wolf had a small smile, too. He gave a very weak shrug before typing, {I know you two have … had lots of sex.}

 

Louis smirked at Haru. He teased the wolf, “It’s true, I’m an absolute fuckboy. I’ve just had oodles of sex with all sorts of sexy beasts.”

 

Haru playfully warned him, “Watch it, bambi.”

 

Louis insisted, “I am clearly talking about myself. Haru is golden, she’s practically virginal.”

 

Haru said, “Ah-huh. Sure. I can keep my virginal pleasantries to myself.”

 

Legosi ended up smirking at them anyway, and shook his head at their antics.

 

Louis started more seriously, “The point is… sex is not a high-stress event for us - or at least for me. I like it. And I like you.” 

 

Haru added quick, “ We like you. And it can be fun experimenting with what we may or may not like. Sex, inherently, is an experiment in pleasure. So we’d like to share that with you, whenever you decide you’re ready.”

 

Louis said, “And it may not be high-stress for us, but we understand it could be high-stress for you. So … we can wait. We don’t mind waiting for you. We’d feel worse if we pushed you into something you don’t want.”

 

Legosi fumbled with his phone’s buttons. {I don’t want to make you wait. …I want to be ready.}

 

Haru insisted, “It’s okay if you aren’t. And, full disclosure, it’s okay if you never want to try. Being poly does not mean we all need to have the exact same relationship with each other. There’s a whole internet meme about ‘this is my boyfriend X, and this is his boyfriend Y’…”

 

“…For some polycules, that’s really how their relationships work. The three of us just happen to all love each other. Yeah, Louis and I have a sexual relationship - but you don’t need to have a sex with us for us to keep loving you. Some people just never want to have sex, and that’s okay.”

 

Louis was trying to follow her lead and agreed, “That’s just how some people are. Everybody’s insides are just a little different.”

 

The wolf still wanted to disappear into the bed. {…Sometimes I worry that I’ll always be broken.}

 

Louis insisted fast, “Hey. You’re not broken. You’re a person, not a tool. And you’ve had to go through a lot of difficult things in your life. Sometimes we have to live with those things, and maybe we end up carrying marks from them, but it doesn’t mean you’re broken. And maybe those things are part of why you feel this way about sex, and maybe it isn’t. I don’t know. But it doesn’t matter either way, because…”

 

Louis trailed off, looking for help.

 

Haru offered, “Having sex doesn’t make anyone whole, so ‘not wanting it’ doesn’t mean you’re broken.”

 

Louis blinked. Then he brightened, because “I like that line.”

 

Legosi had to think about that.

 

Haru grinned, “Admittedly, I heard part of that on the internet… But what I mean is… sex is something people can do, but it’s not something that changes who they are. It definitely can’t fix anyone. Virginity was a concept made up by the patriarchy to make men feel superior…”

 

“…but it’s bullshit. It’s the same thing with trying to find your ‘other half,’ your ‘better half,’ or someone else who could ‘complete’ you. Love can help us be better people, yes, and love can even help us heal, but you are and have always been a full person . You have your own full life.”

 

Legosi typed awkwardly, {My therapist has mentioned something like that. And I know feelings can lie to us, but I still feel …}

 

Legosi signed the familiar word: [Wrong.] 

 

Louis tried to be reassuring, “You’re not wrong, Legosi. You never have been.”

 

Haru added gently, “You’re right: feelings can lie to us. I’m pretty sure that we’ve all felt wrong at one point or another. I know I’ve felt that way, and I’m sure Louis has, too.”

 

Louis agreed, “I definitely have, and on my bad days, I still do. I can’t tell you how often I’ve hated my weakness, how I’ve tried so hard to be right, to be perfect, unblemished…”

 

Louis instinctively glanced down once, at his right sock.

 

‘Unblemished’ … Yafya had used that word, too.

 

Louis wondered, “Can I show you something?”

 

Legosi frowned, [Show us what?]

 

Louis said, “Something I’ve been hiding. But … I think you should know it. Because you’re not ‘wrong,’ Legosi; for me … you’ve always been just right.”

 

Louis scooted back on the bed. He sat a bit more cross-legged, trying to angle his right foot toward the others. 

 

Legosi tried to sit up on the bed, so he could see better.

 

Haru sounded a little sarcastic, “And this has something to do with your foot? Of course it does. This is a natural result of life with Louis.”

 

Louis fussed with the sock just a bit more, down the fur, before finally getting it off his right foot.

 

So they could see the number ‘4’ on the bottom.

 

Legosi was still really confused. [You have a tattoo? …Does your dad know?]

 

Haru joked lightly, “I just thought you hated cold feet.”

 

Louis laughed once. “No. It’s… my curse.”

 

Haru said, “Four is not exactly an ideal number for a secret tattoo, no… Is it like, a metaphor? You’re always walking four-ward?”

 

Louis had a distant look on his face now. “It wasn’t actually my choice…”

 

Legosi frowned more.

 

Haru tried to gesture, “Okay, you’re being mysterious and dramatic right now, and you’re clearly building up to something. What’s going on?”

 

Louis started, “There’s a tower by the back alley market. We pass it sometimes when we patrol. …I thought I would be afraid of it, but I’m not.”

 

Legosi asked, [Why would you be afraid of a tower?]

 

Louis said, “Because … it’s my home.”

 

Haru still had confusion across her face. “Why did Oguma have a home by the black market?”

 

Louis wasn’t really looking at them. “It wasn’t Oguma’s home. It was mine. That tower … used to be a store, that sold livestock. …That’s where I was raised, until I was five years old.”

 

Understanding passed Legosi and Haru’s eyes quickly. The jokes stopped just as fast.

 

Louis started slowly putting his sock back on. “Well, ‘bred’ is a better term, I suppose. ‘4’ is the product ID that they gave me. Raising livestock is considered atrocious, even in the back alley market. So livestock like me spent our lives in the basement, hidden out of sight…”

 

“…To them, we were nothing but food with a price tag. We weren’t really taught how to speak or read, but we still knew: being taken away from that basement would mean death.”

 

Haru whispered Louis’ name in quiet horror. Legosi looked like he would have whined.

 

Louis still kept his gaze down. “Oguma is the one who got me out of there. He’s the only son of a noble family - and he wanted a red deer to be his heir. He wanted a son to continue his bloodline, someone to inherit Horns. And I spent a long time with therapists and professionals, just trying to get my life back in order, to be some fraction of a normal kid…”

 

“…but you can’t get rid of a tattoo like this. The dye stains through your fur, your skin, always. So my past has always been etched on my body. But … that’s okay. I figured, if my past was always going to haunt me, at least I could stomp on it.”

 

Legosi’s hands were folded tightly together, denying a powerful impulse to hug the red deer.

 

Louis looked at Legosi again, eyes slowly tracing the wolf’s body. He reached to touch Legosi’s arm once more. Louis said, “At least… I always thought my past would haunt me. And, it did, for a long time. And then you came along, and you … made things different. Somehow.”

 

Louis looked at Legosi like he was thinking of good memories. 

 

Louis admitted, “I was pretty horrible to you, when we first got to know each other. I never wanted to be close to a carnivore, and I’ve been terrible to a lot of carnivores that had nothing to do with the market. But then I got to know you. Then I got to spend time with you…”

 

“…You stood up to me, and made me listen - and you made me realize … I’d become someone I would have hated. Sure, I had my own trauma, but that never gave me the right to mistreat anyone else. And this mark on my foot… I don’t know. It doesn’t feel as sharp anymore.”

 

Louis let his fingers trace through the fur of Legosi’s cheek. Louis said, “So maybe I’m not the right person to talk about who’s broken and who isn’t. But I’m saying this because I want you to know … that despite everything you’ve gone through, you’ve always been just right for me…”

 

“…Not perfect. There’s no such thing as perfect. You’re different, and we’re all different. But you - being who you are, the way you are - has still been good for me. Fuck, I know this probably sounds cliche, but Haru’s right: you really did help me get better, and you helped me be better…”

 

“…I didn’t even realize I had feelings for you at first, but I still wanted to be a better person for you. You deserved better from me. You called me on my shit, and that was a wake-up call that I really needed.”

 

Haru cleared her throat, softly adding, “Yeah… you were … kind of a dick for a while…”

 

Louis tried to joke, “But a sexy dick?”

 

Haru held two fingers together, “Just a little sexy.”

 

Louis laughed quietly. 

 

Legosi still looked very upset, but he wasn’t signing anything.

 

Louis took a deeper breath. “I have a point here, I promise. It’s just … my life has always been tied to the back alley market. And I never expected I’d be back here, this way, and trying to help it…”

 

“…I made a vow long ago: that I would change this world for the better, that I’d turn my pain and suffering into strength. I’m just … not doing that the way I expected. And … it’s probably even better this way…”

 

Louis looked straight at the wolf, and gently stroked Legosi’s jaw. “Cause I’m in love with a carnivore. That’s you, being just the way you are. So no matter what happened to us in the past, how different we are, or what marks we still bear, we are still living . Like Haru said, we are whole people…”

 

“…We’re just helping each other. You’re right for me, Legosi. You made my life better. I love you, fangs and all, and when I kiss you, I feel those fangs, every time.” 

 

Louis grinned, just slightly embarrassed as he admitted, “I kind of like your fangs. Kissing you is exciting. And I definitely like your body, and I cannot tell you how much that surprised me. I thought I was straight before you. But I’m saying all this so you know: I’m not turning a blind eye to you, to any part of you…”

 

“…I’m not idolizing you. I’m not putting you on a pedestal. Neither of us are. I see you as you are, as the person who stands at my side every day. And someday soon, as a carnivore, you may need to eat meat.”

 

Haru gave Louis a deadly glare. She gestured sharply across her neck.

 

Legosi glanced at both of them, silent still.

 

Louis tried to look firm. “Haru said we should talk to you about that sooner rather than later. I didn’t want to say this and upset you, but I’m putting all my cards on the table right now. I’m being honest, 100%. Gouhin said you might need meat to stay healthy, because you are biologically a carnivore…”

 

“…and that’s just how carnivores evolved. And it seems like you’re hungry all the time, no matter what you eat - like you’re not getting the right food - and that scares me, because you barely tell us when something’s wrong. We don’t want you to suffer in silence…”

 

“…We want you to be healthy. And we are going to keep loving you, whether you need meat or not. Our love is not based on your diet, and it’s definitely not based on sex. And I’m going to keep kissing you, for as long as you let me, even if you have meat for dinner.”

 

Louis smirked shamelessly and tugged once at the wolf’s half-opened shirt, “And I’ll have you know, you still seduce me by knocking felines around, with that big hot body of yours.”

 

Changing the mood took Haru off guard. She snorted once and covered her mouth. 

 

It released the slightest tension from the wolf. Legosi also looked like he wanted to laugh, in disbelief. 

 

Louis glanced at Haru, “What? Outmuscling another carnivore is kind of hot. You should have seen it. Maybe he can demonstrate on Free.”

 

Haru rubbed her eyes in exasperation. “Seriously, Louis? Dropped enough bombshells tonight? I think part of the street is still standing. We couldn’t just have a normal talk about sexuality?”

 

Louis rolled his eyes in a very drawn out way. “I thought it was important. Besides, you were the one telling me we had to talk about it soon! ‘We’re supposed to be honest with each other’ - those were your words. I’m used to keeping secrets.”

 

Haru scoffed, “Yeah, and you gave me a huge speech about not wanting to set back his mental health! Honestly, you were acting like someone told you to shoot Legosi yourself.”

 

Louis clutched his chest dramatically, “Excuse me for caring about my boyfriend’s wellbeing! I’m allowed to worry about his self-esteem!”

 

Legosi sheepishly raised a few fingers, [Actually, for what it’s worth, I kind of … heard Gouhin … a little…]

 

Louis leered suspiciously, “Heard what from Gouhin?”

 

Legosi was glancing aside. [About me needing meat…]

 

Louis raised his voice, “When was this??”

 

Legosi looked like he had his hand caught in the cookie jar. He signed small, [When you wanted to see grandpa! You were in there for a very long time , and when I got there, Ibuki and I overheard Gouhin yelling about my health…]

 

Haru was trying to suppress the urge to cackle. “Louis? Rex, you just have to be dramatic about everything, don’t you?”

 

Louis glared at her, then pushed at the wolf, “Why didn’t you say anything!?”

 

Legosi was trying not to smile as he defended himself. [Well I didn’t want to say I was eavesdropping, even if it was an accident! I didn’t want to be rude! I was already feeling really embarrassed about the panic attack and Ibuki knew that…]

 

[…He didn’t want to make me feel worse - so he suggested we wait down the hall for you to finish. So I only heard pieces , when Gouhin raised his voice, and I definitely didn’t like hearing what I heard.]

 

Louis crossed his arms grumpily. “And now?”

 

Legosi looked amused by the sassy deer. He signed, [And I still don’t want to argue. The concept of eating meat still bothers me. It feels wrong. I don’t know if I could ever be comfortable eating meat. I just think there’s no point in us debating it if I can’t even sniff meat without getting upset. I need to address my panic triggers first.]

 

Haru tried to be the voice of reason, “Honestly, that’s probably the best thing for us to do right now.”

 

Louis complained and gestured, “Well, are you keeping any other secrets from us? Because apparently I’m just stressing out over nothing over here.”

 

Legosi thought a second. [I tripped and fell on Haru.]

 

Haru choked on a loud laugh.

 

Louis glared, “How is that a secret??”

 

Legosi started to sign, [I was trying to protect you! It was at night!] 

 

But it was Haru who said, “Behind the gym.”

 

Legosi’s ears shot up again. [Wait, you knew??]

 

Haru laughed, “Uh, yeah? You’re the only canid around the school who wears a scarf. I’ve known for ages.”

 

Now it was Legosi’s turn to be annoyed. Legosi asked, [Why didn’t you say anything??]

 

Haru laughed, “Cause I liked spending time with you! And you were always worried about speaking up - so to speak - so I didn’t want to make you more self-conscious…”

 

“…I just figured we’d talk about it whenever. You’re such a good guy, I figured you had to have a good reason. You even tripped and fell on me again that time we were playing Tag, when Tao and Aoba showed up. It was totally you.”

 

A suspicious Louis was leaning towards the wolf, “Why were you behind the gym at night??”

 

Legosi tried not to laugh. [Okay, that was your fault.]

 

Louis looked offended, “Mine??”

 

Legosi reminded him, [Uh, you made me guard the theater so you could break curfew with Zoe. You bullied me into doing it. And then I had to carry you back when you messed up your leg.]

 

Haru burst out laughing again.

 

Louis slapped his hands to his face, and fell back. He groaned on the bed, “Rex, we are such a fucking mess.”

 

The huge carnivore crawled over top of Louis, to give the deer a kiss. Louis opened his eyes again, with Legosi happily looming over him. 

 

Tail wagging, Legosi signed purposefully, [I love you.]

 

Louis sighed, “I love you, too…”

 

Legosi added, [Thank you for worrying about me.]

 

Haru had to rub her eyes, “And somehow I love both of you. Just a bunch of crazy people: that’s us.”

 

Legosi moved to give her a kiss as well. He signed to them both, [Let's keep being crazy together.]

 

Haru teased, “With Louis around, I don’t think we have a choice.”

 

Louis crossed his arms grumpily. “I’m a Beastar, you know. I’m supposed to be respected.”

 

Haru and Legosi both shared another look, then they started laughing again.

……

Legosi returned home late that night, quietly slipping into room 701. Some of the guys were still up and noticed him. 

 

Jack tried to ask quietly, [How did your job go?]

 

Legosi had a special spring in his step, and a special smirk on his face. His tail was wagging constantly. [It went great. Really great. We had a lot of fun.]

 

Jack frowned. [You had fun?]

 

Legosi was grinning ear to ear. [Yes. Lots of fun.]

 

The wolf undressed for bed, relaxed and content and radiating happiness.

 

Durham was staring.

Notes:

So concludes another arc.

We'll be seeing and focusing on more side characters next. Should be fun. :)

Chapter 45: Good Cherryton boys (and Pina)

Summary:

Louis: “Join me in being a Cherryton that takes pride in our diversity.”

Pina: “Carnivores are ugly. It’s a scientific fact.”

Louis loading a gun: “And I took that personally.”

Notes:

Today starts a little arc for side characters. We have the Cherryton folk today, Gosha next, then Oguma and Ibuki, and by popular demand, Leano and Savon. That will lead us into the long-awaited snek.

I'm not fully satisfied with this chapter but I want to just post it and move on. Jaw war is replaced by a different kind of carnivore battle.

I don't think the anime included this, but the 701 dogs are a silly lot and come to a hilariously wrong conclusion today. These poor kids... Just take it as humor.

Room 701 needed to have an emergency meeting.

 

A secret meeting.

 

And for that, his roommates couldn’t include Legosi - cause it was all about their favorite wolf. 

 

They waited till after dinner, when Legosi would be leaving for his secret Beastar job. 

 

Legosi got dressed in his fancy clothes, got out that sword of his, and was about to leave. But he stopped.

 

The wolf was looking left and right, checking his pile of laundry, his bed, but he was missing something.

 

Legosi looked confused. He turned to Jack and asked, [Hey, have you seen a dress shirt around here?]

 

Jack was reading a book for class and frowned. He replied, “The one you’re wearing?”

 

Legosi shook his head, [No, I had a different one. I just wore it -] Legosi stopped mid-sentence, and looked around. He asked, [Hey, do you hear a rattling?]

 

Jack frowned. “A shaking sound?”

 

Collot was playing a game on his Twitch. Voss was draped over the sheepdog’s shoulder, watching Collot play. 

 

On their beds, Durham and Miguno were watching something else on their phones, with headphones in.

 

Legosi was squinting, still trying to look for the source of the sound. He signed, [Yeah. I’ve been hearing it for a month or two.]

 

Jack wondered, “Like tinnitus? A ringing in your ear?”

 

Legosi’s ear flicked. [I don’t think so…] He glanced again at the time, and sighed. [Nevermind. I’ve gotta go before I’m late.]

 

Jack added fast, “Take care out there!”

 

Legosi gave a quick [thanks] before leaving.

 

The assembled canines waited a few more seconds, before they put down everything on hand. 

 

They all scrambled towards the center of the room.

 

Collot whispered, “Durham, get the shirt.”

 

The coyote was fast, taking out a plastic bag from under his bed. The bag contained the missing dress shirt.

 

Durham took it out and held it up, and all of the dogs started sniffing it again.

 

Voss grimaced, “Ugh, that cologne. It still smells terrible.”

 

Sniff, sniff. Sniff, sniff.

 

Jack wondered, “Is that lion?”

 

Collot agreed, “It smells like lion.”

 

Miguno whispered, “It smells like male lion!”

 

Durham insisted, “A sweaty male lion with old-man cologne! One who’d been through a lot of action!”

 

A gasp and shock went through them all.

 

Jack worried, “What does this mean? Legosi came back from his secret job wearing this!”

 

Durham complained, “What do you think it means? Legosi got laid! With some kind of lion daddy!”

 

Collot disagreed, “No, it doesn’t. It’s just a shirt!”

 

Miguno knew, “Big cats and big dogs both have strong BO…”

 

Jack was struggling to word his own thoughts, “But Legosi’s been acting so mature lately! He’s been changing ever since he was kidnapped! He’s been so … so …”

 

Voss finished, “So adult! Legosi’s been acting like an old man lately!”

 

Durham insisted, “And he came back way too happy last night! He was all … relaxed and laidback! And did you see his tail? That smirk? He totally had that ‘I just got laid’ look!”

 

Miguno knew, “He doesn’t want to play games with us either! And now we have this!”

 

Miguno shook the shirt that smelled like a mature male lion.

 

Collot looked to the labrador, “Jack, you know Legosi better than us. Is this possible? Could he actually have … slept with a male lion?”

 

Jack was practically panicking, “I don’t know! I don’t know anymore! He’s supposed to be doing some secret job for the Beastar, but I saw it, too! He was acting different last night! Relieved! He was relieved! And I thought he was dating that rabbit, they were being quiet about it, but all I can smell is lion, sweat, and cologne!”

 

Miguno was worried, “I know herbivores don’t have a strong scent like carnivores, but could he be cheating on his girlfriend?”

 

Durham added, “With some mature lion man that actually puts out?”

 

Eyes wide, Jack clapped his hands over his snout.

 

Collot hardened his voice, “Everybody, stop! This isn’t helping! We don’t need this kind of conflict, and Legosi’s life has already been so messed up.”

 

Voss complained, “Well, what do you think we should do?”

 

Collot grumbled softly under his breath, contemplating the matter for himself. “I think … we need to keep quiet. Don’t ask him any questions whatsoever! Avoid the topic as much as you can! Because … it’s just too complicated! Legosi has always wanted to feel normal, right? Do you think he wants us making a big deal out of it?”

 

Miguno replied, “We need to show him we support him! If we say nothing, it could hurt his feelings!”

 

Jack worried softly, “But what if he really is cheating on his girlfriend??”

 

Voss countered, “And what if he wasn’t cheating at all? What if he used that sword, murdered a male lion for the Beastar, and then took his shirt as a trophy??”

 

Jack’s voice made this tiny, whimpering, cracking noise.

 

Collot said, “Dude…”

 

The sheepdog’s eyes would have been wide, if he didn’t have all that hair.

 

Voss complained, “I’m just saying! Maybe this has less to do with lion sex and more to do with lion murder. He’s totally got those pro hitman moves, and that sword. It’s no wonder the Beastar recruited him. Maybe he’s gone secret agent on us.”

 

Durham replied, “But Legosi specifically signed he had ‘fun’ last night! A ‘lot of fun’!” Durham repeated the signs to make a point.

 

Voss insisted, “Well, maybe he had a lot of fun murdering a lion?? Lions kidnapped him, and he has a secret job that somehow involves that sword! Who knows!!”

 

Jack squeaked.

 

Durham blinked, then realized, “Actually, Voss is making way more sense. Legosi totally killed him; this lion’s dead.”

 

Somewhere in the world, Free sneezed. 

 

Miguno still wondered, “But what if it was like some super rich, super sexy lion dad? Maybe he made Legosi feel special? Maybe Legosi fell in love? Or was seduced?”

 

Jack squeaked worse, and dramatically clung to Collot for support.

 

Collot was more flustered, “See?! This is what I mean! Don’t ask questions! It’s too complicated! We’ll just pretend we never noticed the shirt, the smell, or his just-had-sex look. Just play dumb. And if he decides to say something … even if it’s a terrible lie, let’s just pretend we believe him and leave it at that.”

 

Miguno agreed, “And I’m just saying, even if Legosi is having a relationship with a mature lion man… we still need to support him. We need to be happy for him. He’s our friend. He deserves whatever happiness he can find.”

 

Durham crossed his arms and nodded several times, “If we want to have a cool, manly friendship with Legosi, then that’s how it's gotta be.”

 

Jack nearly whined, “He’s just growing up so fast!”

 

Voss grumbled, “I still think it’s murder.”

……

Sanu the pelican was trying to go through paperwork on a clipboard, double-checking his schedule for the drama club. He raised his voice, “Alright! We’re going to practice the duel scene next!”

 

Tao cheered in excitement.

 

The cat ran to get the wooden practice swords they had for the drama club. 

 

Moro the rhino had barely gotten out the swords before Tao was grabbing them.

 

Aoba was more surprised just because it seemed early for that. He asked, “Have you figured out the choreography already?”

 

Sanu was looking down at his papers. “We’re still playing with it, but we have the broad strokes. We’ll work on the subtleties later.”

 

Sheila had to acknowledge, “Since Legosi and Bill gave such a dramatic performance in the spring, we need to keep up that intensity. People are going to have much higher expectations now.”

 

As Aoba got up on stage, Tao practically threw one of the practice swords at Aoba. The eagle caught it deftly, but still leaned back on reflex. He glared, “Tao!”

 

The panther was already getting into a fighting stance on the other side of the stage. His tail was flicking happily behind him. Tao was looking giddy and excited to play around, holding the sword in front of him. 

 

Aoba grumbled and took the same stance. 

 

Sanu adjusted his glasses. “Let’s start out slow by exchanging a few hits.”

 

Tao suddenly had an idea. He turned to ask, “Actually, can Aoba and I freestyle first?”

 

Sheila asked, “Freestyle?”

 

Aoba was groaning, “Tao, no.”

 

The panther was pretty proud of their hard work, saying, “Yeah! Legosi has been giving us lots of lessons! We’ve gotten a lot better at this stuff thanks to him!”

 

Aoba complained, “Tao, we are not training right now. Legosi isn’t even here.”

 

Tao pleaded, “Please?? How are they going to know what we can do if we don’t show them? We’ve been training with Legosi for months!”

 

Off to the side, Louis had his nose in the script, trying to memorize lines in what little time he had. So Louis added without looking up, “It’s true. Legosi has taught them a lot.”

 

Aoba looked to Sanu and Sheila, “Please say no.”

 

Sanu was tapping his bill, thinking. “…I guess Tao has a point? We do want the fights to look better…”

 

Sheila still looked more cautious. “Fine. Take two minutes - but don’t hurt each other!”

 

Tao was already grinning from that victory. He asked the eagle, “Are you ready?~”

 

Els clapped her hands, “You can do it, Aoba!”

 

Bill cheered, “Come on, Aoba! Show us what you got!”

 

Aoba sighed in resignation, and gripped his fake sword tighter. “Fine. Two minutes.”

 

Tao burst forward like a gun went off. 

 

Aoba blocked. The first crash of swords was so loud. 

 

And then swords clashed again and again, a rapid assault, a wooden drumbeat. 

 

An excitable Tao kept slashing towards Aoba, side to side. 

 

Aoba kept blocking it, backstepping. His face was more serious. 

 

The drama club started cheering louder, yelling support for both. 

 

Tao started stabbing forward with the padded tip. 

 

Aoba deflected it here, there, ducked his head outright under another. 

 

Aoba started sidestepping and backpedaling, putting more distance between them. 

 

Aoba slashed a wider arc with his long arms, trying to keep Tao back. 

 

Tao kept pushing forward, laughing giddily at the fun of a fake fight - like they were little kids on a playground, with wooden sticks for lightsabers.

 

Aoba ran out of room, his back to the wall. Aoba used his wings to help jump all the way over Tao. 

 

Aoba had barely landed before Tao was slashing down at Aoba’s feet. 

 

Aoba blocked once, hopped over the next, then started using his wings to jump and backflip - a bird’s advantage. 

 

Tao raced after him again - and Aoba stabbed aggressively towards Tao, missing by centimeters. The panther leaned away, eyes wide. 

 

The carnivore in Aoba was waking up, rising to the challenge - carnivore vs carnivore. Tao tried to counter, and instead found Aoba on the assault.

 

Tao was ducking this way and that, trying to attack, but Aoba was swinging harder, slashing harder, making Tao work for every blocked hit. Tao was slowing down. 

 

Another block, Tao was at the edge of the stage. 

 

Kibi shouted, “Don't give up, Tao!”

 

Tao wanted to show off, and did a complete flip off the stage, landing on his feet.

 

Aoba jumped off after him - then brought the sword straight down. 

 

Tao raised his sword to block. 

 

Tao’s sword shattered. 

*

Tao explained in the locker room, “And that’s why I needed a dozen stitches…”

 

A few of the guys laughed. Aoba was still unhappy on the other side of the room.

 

The new dall sheep though was vaguely impressed. “Wow. I couldn’t handle that. I had my wisdom teeth taken out the other day, and just that made me cry.”

 

Tao rubbed at the scars on his arm, “Aw, it’s okay. It was a while ago. It was my own fault really.” Tao shrugged and smiled about it, “I was just having so much fun! If I didn’t like playing pretend, I wouldn’t be an actor.”

 

The dall sheep laughed twice with a weird light in his eyes. He said, “Well, I sure wouldn’t want to make you angry. You’re dangerous.”

 

Tao frowned immediately like he was stung. “What? No, I’m not. I just … got a little carried away.”

 

A few paces away, Aoba was changing his clothes for the club. He complained over his shoulder, “I told you I didn’t want to spar like that, and you kept pushing me! At least we wear armor when we spar with Legosi!”

 

Bill clapped a hand on Tao’s shoulder, trying to be supportive. “Well, I thought it was cool! The two of you picked up some crazy moves from Legosi. I’m going to have to kick my own ass to keep up with the two of you now.”

 

The dall sheep still had a weird expression - something like a confident smirk, hiding something else. “Well, I’ll be leaving now, so you all can fight to your hearts’ content. Excuse me, kitties.”

 

The sheep sort of sauntered out of the locker room. 

 

Tao still felt unsettled. His ears were a little lower, and he turned to Kibi. Tao asked, “Hey… do you think I’m dangerous?”

 

Kibi had to blink several times, taken off guard. “What? No. Of course not.”

 

Tao gave a very slight nod, unsure if he believed that. 

 

Bill spoke up as he finished getting dressed, “Tao, don’t let him get to you. You’re a great actor and a carnivore; you’re allowed to mess around sometimes. Besides, you’ve always been reliable. That guy didn’t even introduce himself. He was being rude.”

 

Aoba was still frowning, but for a different reason now. “And he called you guys ‘kitties.’ That was weird.”

 

Tao rubbed at his arm more awkwardly. He tried to convince himself, “Yeah… I guess…”

…… 

Louis and Sanu had to give the real introductions when everyone else was gathered in front of the stage. 

 

Sanu started, “I’m guessing the guys have already met him? Well, we have a new member for the acting team today!”

 

The drama club members were already muttering and whispering to each other - some excited, some not.

 

The new figure had this radiant look about his face, and he had a habit of gesturing whenever he spoke. “My name is Pina - a dall sheep, and a first year. One of you asked me to join. Well, I don’t know much about how it works around here, so I might cause some trouble.” Pina shifted slightly, and his wool practically sparkled under the ceiling lights. “But I’m okay as long as we all have fun together! I’m pleased to be with you all.”

 

A few people were clapping, being friendly. A few were even whispering about Pina’s good looks.

 

Louis explained, “The actor’s pool still has a lot of room to grow. As I’ve said before, I can’t be as active in the drama club right now. I have additional responsibilities as a Beastar.”

 

Bill still looked concerned, like he had a bad feeling, “Yeah, but, Louis? You’re not thinking of making him your replacement, are you?”

 

Tao mumbled, “I don’t think that’s going to work…”

 

Sanu tried to placate them, “Come on, guys. It’s not like that.”

 

Louis pointed out, “Our club advisor has always been scouting for new members. Juno just joined us a few months ago. I promise, this isn’t about me. This is just an accident of timing.”

 

Pina put his hand to his jaw. He wondered out loud, “Hmm. Isn’t this a matter of appearance?”

 

Louis blinked. “Appearance?”

 

Pina was facing the others in the club, not Louis. He said, “Sure, everyone likes the drama club, but it’ll still be tough without a star actor like Louis, right? The drama club is honestly going to have a hard time without a handsome male lead… and I’m just going to say it how it is. I’m not trying to offend anyone, but …”

 

Pina smirked brightly, brushing hair back from his face. “…Carnivores always lose the light in their eyes. They’re tormented by their desires. It’s impossible for them to look beautiful. It’s a scientific fact.” 

 

The eyes of every person in the room shot wide, a number of voices all saying “What??” “Excuse me??” “What the hell?!”

 

More people were standing up, angry or defensive. Louis turned on Pina with a look of utter disgust, and it was all Louis could do to bite his tongue, to suppress the desire to do something worse.

 

Even calm Sheila was raising her voice, “What, are you saying that all carnivores are ugly??”

 

Pina looked completely unaffected, like it was obvious. He touched his chest, “My only redeeming traits are my looks. I don’t have ‘herbivore pride,’ or any sort of conviction like that. I can’t replace Louis - but I’m popular with the ladies, and I think that’s good enough for me.” 

 

Els snapped, “The ladies??”

 

Too far. Louis spoke in a rush of angry words, “How can you possibly be this ignorant?? ‘Coexistence and coprosperity,’ ‘we are stronger together’ - those are Cherryton’s guiding principles! What you just said was some of the most offensive bigoted drivel I have ever heard!”

 

Pina was in his own little world, rolling his eyes. He just waved it off, “Everyone knows that the drama club is filled with weirdos. In the spring, one of your members was eaten alive - probably by one of you - even that panther is battle-scarred, and you even had a dumb wolf on stage -”

 

Louis slapped him. Louis had slapped him so hard and so loud, it left the sheep stunned.

 

Everyone was stunned.

 

Dragging Legosi into this was a bridge too far. 

 

Louis practically roared, “Get out! Come back with an apology or not at all!”

 

Pina blinked several times, hand to his cheek.

 

It wasn’t the first time he’d been slapped, and it wouldn’t be the last.

 

For a moment there, Pina looked like he was going to argue, going to protest. His body tensed, his eyes narrowed, but he was staring down the Cherryton Beastar. 

 

Pina made a dramatic show of yawning and stretching, deciding this was a battle he didn’t care to fight. He kept his head held high, saying, “I’m sorry. I got a bit sleepy. I’ll see myself out…”

 

The dall sheep walked away maintaining an air of confidence, but muttering something else under his breath.

 

The drama club was still frozen.

 

Louis’ jaw was tightly tensed. He was shocked at his own lack of control - and the desire to do so much worse than slap that herbivore.

 

He wondered what Free would have done.

 

Sanu struggled to comment, “Um, Louis? That was a bit…”

 

“Badass!” Bill said. 

 

Several members of the club started laughing quietly. The herbivores looked mostly amused, the carnivores looked in awe.

 

Pina was being a racist bully and a troll - but it was against the rules for a carnivore to even bare their fangs at an herbivore. A carnivore could have gotten expelled for hitting an herbivore.

 

Even if an herbivore really deserved it, Louis was still pushing his luck.

 

Louis straightened his appearance on instinct, and tried to stand taller. “My apologies, everyone. That was unseemly of me. Please don’t repeat this.”

 

Tao whispered, “Well, I appreciate it. That guy was giving me the creeps.”

 

Els leaned closer to Bill, smirking, “I was five seconds from throwing something at him.”

 

Louis tried not to look pleased with himself. He glanced again at the group, trying to shift the topic fast. “Kai!”

 

The mongoose straightened up with surprise. “Me?”

 

Louis nodded. “Do you still want to be part of the actor’s pool?”

 

Kai was blinking from being put on the spot. “I can?”

 

Louis nodded again, “Yes. You already have experience, and I highly doubt that bigot is coming back. How do you feel?”

 

Kai swallowed awkwardly. Next to him, Dom gave Kai an affectionate pat on the back.

 

Kai found his words, “Actually… I think I kind of like being in the production crew.”

 

Louis was surprised for a second, then gave a smile. “Very well. As you like it. Sanu, what’s next on the agenda?”

 

There was a knock on one of the doors, and Louis turned - preparing to be mad at Pina again.

 

But the head that poked inside … was an unfamiliar hybrid.

 

The massive wolf-bear’s ears were a little low, and he was definitely trying to slouch lower than his height. He held up a piece of paper like it was a tiny shield, way too small for his oversized body. He said hesitantly, “Um, this is the drama club, right?”

 

Sanu tried to reassert some measure of leadership, put on his most diplomatic face, and said, “Yes! Yes, it is! We were just discussing some things. Can we help you?”

 

The wolf-bear entered the room carefully, still holding the paper in his giant bear-like hands. He said, “No. Y-yes, I mean, I got this invitation today … from the club advisor? He, uh, thought I should join? …He didn’t really say for what though…”

 

A number of club members all shared a knowing look. All at once, the club made an unspoken decision to not be like Pina.

 

Sheila chimed in first, “You should absolutely join.”

 

Bill agreed, “You’d look awesome on stage!”

 

Dom only protested because, “Hey, we could always use help in the production crew! Let him pick!”

 

Els asked, “Have you ever danced before? You could do some amazing lifts!”

 

Riz nodded sagely, “Bears are pretty strong.”

 

Juno teased Riz, “He’s a bear- wolf . I have biology hours with him. He’s pretty smart!”

 

The hybrid’s wolf tail started wagging against his will and he rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. “N-no, no. That’s… I’m nothing special.”

 

Louis looked at the other club members with pride, and said, “Yes. You are. …What’s your name?”

 

The wolf-bear gave an awkward smile, and slouched a little less. He stammered, “Theodore. My parents called me Theodore…”

Chapter 46: A grandfather's two faces

Summary:

Chapter 35, Gosha said, "I know how to handle men like these. I used to be one of them.”

Leano whispered a fear, “And you’re becoming one again…”

Do you think Gosha feels guilty for what happened to Ibuki? If he had stayed with Yafya, could they have destroyed the hyperdrug business before Ibuki was ever sold?

Notes:

In a secure room at Gouhin’s clinic, a sandwich had been left on a plate, on a table.

 

Haru leaned close to it and said, “So… this is meat?”

 

Legosi’s nose was wrinkled already. He was further away, closer to a wall.

 

Gouhin had his arms crossed. He explained, “Technically, it’s a roast beef sandwich. It’s Dope’s dinner. He didn’t mind if we used it for a little while.”

 

Haru commented, “I thought meat was, like, red? Or supposed to be red? Why’s it brown?”

 

Gouhin actually laughed. “It’s not all the same color! There’s what you call light meat or dark meat. But cooking or burning the meat will of course change the color more drastically. Depending on specie, some meat isn’t safe to eat unless you do cook it first.”

 

Haru hummed to herself, and made a note of that in her phone. She turned back to the wolf, “How’s it going, big guy?”

 

Legosi looked … displeased. 

 

The wolf gave an awkward, uncomfortable shrug.

 

Gouhin asked, “What’s going on in your head, right now?”

 

Legosi opened and closed his mouth once. He wrote it out on a pad of paper.

 

{My mouth feels dry.}

 

{The meat is … all I can smell.}

 

{No. I can still smell blood, on some level.}

 

{That might just be in my head.}

 

{My blood is pounding.}

 

{That’s probably the trauma.}

 

{I feel … fidgety. Like I’m supposed to be leaving. Or running.}

 

Gouhin asked, “How’s your breathing?”

 

Legosi wrote, {Tight. My chest still feels tight.}

 

Gouhin asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10, how hard is it to breathe right now?”

 

Legosi held up some fingers, [3.]

 

Gouhin asked, “How badly do you want to leave?”

 

[4.]

 

Gouhin asked, “Have you ever been around meat this long before?”

 

[No.]

 

Gouhin said, “I’d like to think that’s a good sign. You’ve been working on blood exposure for, what, a few weeks now? It’s high time you started working on your response to meat, too.”

 

It was just a sandwich, but Legosi felt bad that even a sandwich was making him uncomfortable.

 

Legosi was trying to look for a distraction. {Did you ever get the results back from those blood tests? Or, did you do them yourself?}

 

Gouhin rumbled softly, “I did them myself. They are… inconclusive. I want to do more tests. I’ll need to take more blood samples.”

 

Legosi nodded. {If you need to.}

 

Gouhin glanced at Haru, then looked again to Legosi. He asked him, “And you’ve never actually eaten any meat before in your life?”

 

Legosi gave a grimace, an immediate look of distaste. {No. Never. At least… I don’t think I have.}

 

Gouhin frowned. “You don’t think so?”

 

Legosi gave another slow, uncomfortable shrug. {I don’t think my family could have slipped it by me, but… I suppose I can’t be sure. Gosha… was a gangster.}

 

Gouhin was quick to comment, “Your grandpa didn't spike your food, if that’s what you’re wondering. He and I have argued about that.”

 

Legosi grimaced again. [I heard…]

 

Gouhin sounded like he was complaining, “Your old man is insistent the choice has to be yours, whether you eat meat or not. Personally, I would have preferred you start eating meat years ago. With your musculature, it’s too much of a risk going this long without.”

 

Legosi’s mouth still felt dry, and his nose was still wrinkled. He wrote, {I don’t think ‘choice’ is involved much in that. My body hates even smelling that sandwich.}

 

Gouhin asked, “How much longer do you think you can stay here, with that sandwich over there?”

 

Legosi would have been making unhappy noises, if only he could. {A little longer.}

 

Gouhin nodded, “Okay. Then just a little longer. Then we can work on it a little more later.”

 

Legosi slowly nodded in turn.

 

Haru came a bit closer, and rubbed Legosi’s hand. “You’re doing great. You don’t have to do anything. We are facing the bad feelings together. We just have to breathe … and wait.”

 

Legosi tried to take a deeper breath, to focus on just the air and not the scent of meat in their little room.

 

His big hand held onto Haru’s little one. 

 

[Just breathing… I can do that…]

…… 

Miguel sat relaxed on a couch, and was slowly drinking a beer. A game was playing on TV, and a number of the two gumis were watching it together. 

 

Free was pacing in the Shishigumi’s den. He groaned, “Aaggh… Gosha is a monster…”

 

Speaking over the game’s commentators, Miguel asked, “Because he can kill you before you can blink?”

 

Free pumped his fists, saying, “No! Because he keeps finding out when I’ve smoked!”

 

Several of them laughed. Loudly. Even Miguel did, and it echoed in that huge chest of his.

 

One of the Dokugumi - a komodo who liked the name Smog - threw Free a piece of gum. He said, “Chew that. It helps.”

 

Free gave a grumbling sigh before unwrapping and popping it in his mouth. He muttered, “Thanks…”

 

Miguel spoke without turning away from the TV, “Just go hang out with the bear. I’m pretty sure Gouhin is still smoking in private.”

 

Free complained, “I tried…”

 

Smog said, “And?”

 

Free clutched his chest, “And Gosha showed up in the window! Looking at us! With his disappointed grandpa face! There was a flash of lightning and everything, like a horror movie!”

 

Miguel laughed, “Bullshit!”

 

Free was offended, “Would I lie to you??”

 

Smog laughed, “I’ve only been talking to you for like two weeks, and even I know: you’d absolutely lie to me.”

 

Free crossed his arms. “Well, I’m not. We keep finding our ashtrays all burnt up by his venom, too. He’s totally cracking down.”

 

Miguel repeated more like a song, “Bullshit.~”

…… 

Gosha called Louis and Legosi into his office. The old komodo was worried. His desk had several papers laid across it. There always seemed to be something to report, he was trying to move so many pieces, control so much of the market even in the face of looming turf wars.

 

There was something he had to do. But this was a step he couldn’t take back.

 

Ibuki knocked at the door, entering after Gosha gave permission. He escorted Louis and Legosi inside.

 

Gosha approached quicker when he saw them, saying, “Good. Good, you’re here.”

 

Legosi asked, [Is something wrong? Do you need us?]

 

Gosha had a slight grimace, “In a manner of speaking. But first, I need to know: how has exposure therapy been going? I’ve tried not to ask about your therapy, but this is important.”

 

Legosi grit his teeth. [It’s … slow. I’m getting used to the smell of blood, but I still took my emergency medicine before coming here to the mansion. …Did something happen?]

 

Gosha looked uncomfortable, and glanced at Louis and Legosi both. He had to admit, “I’ve been putting something off, but I’m ready to move on it… And I want you two with me, but it won’t be pleasant. And… I’ll be honest … I want Yafya to hear about it.”

 

Louis and Legosi looked to each other as Gosha walked over to his desk.

 

Legosi signed and Louis asked, “Hear about what?”

 

Gosha picked up a Dokugumi mask from his desk, and secured it tight around his jaws. It distorted his voice as he said, “The hyperdrug business.”

……

It was an old-fashioned building, right on the edge of the back alley market. A sign on the front proclaimed for all to see: Hyperdrugs .

 

Gosha looked as calm and controlled as he usually did. He had to project that atmosphere to others. The Dokugumi mask only added to that, like he was detached from the world.

 

Ibuki, Dolph and Savon were all there. They entered the building first, before Gosha, Louis and Legosi. A few more members of the gumis followed.

 

Legosi brought the sword. He brought it with him whenever he was around the gumis.

 

Inside, the building was one part laboratory, one part herbal pharmacy.

 

A few customers were already being attended. 

 

Louis wasn’t sure which part drew his eyes first: the carnivore bodies floating in suspension liquids, the caiman that was partially chained up and getting tattooed, or the fact that the doctors attending the reptile were all … herbivores.

 

Gerbils? Guinea pigs? Mice? Small rodent herbivores.

 

Legosi was equally confused, unsettled at the bodies that were sometimes missing limbs, to say nothing of the other scents that filled this place. He was glad for the medicine he took earlier, or he was sure this would be doing a number on his nerves. 

 

Louis signed to ask the wolf, [What is this?] but Legosi signed immediately, [I don’t know.]

 

The rodents brightened up though upon seeing all the new arrivals. One of them said, “Ah, the Shishigumi! And the Dokugumi! Welcome, welcome! We were just helping a customer! We’ll assist you in a moment!”

 

The caiman was only chained by his neck and one arm, and he was sweating fearfully.

 

Gosha didn’t say anything yet. He was looking around the room, at all the herbal remedies for sale. His claws trailed along names, materials, drugs… 

 

Savon interrupted anyway, “What are you doing to him?”

 

The group of rodents kept up the process of tattooing the partially-chained caiman. But one spoke aloud, “Oh, we’re explaining to the customer which parts do what!”

 

‘Respiratory problems’ tattooed on the chest. ‘Energy enhancement’ on the thigh. ‘Muscle building’ from the shoulders. ‘Recovery from exhaustion’ on the left arm. They were marking the caiman all over, each spot supposedly aiding something different.

 

A rich old goat was sitting in a wheelchair, with two canine bodyguards at either side. The goat looked hungry in a way that made Legosi even more uncomfortable.

 

Dolph didn’t actually like that the caiman wasn’t fully restrained. It was a risk to the boss, and the boss’s boys.

 

Dolph growled protectively, “You’re supposed to chain your ‘materials’ before they go berserk. This one seems awfully free.”

 

One of the rodents replied happily, “Oh, he chose this! He’s selling himself out of his own free will, so he won’t be resisting. That’s good for the customer and good for us! Caiman bodies are hard to come by.”

 

Gosha’s eyes turned to the caiman. His voice was still distorted through his mask as he asked, “And is that true?”

 

The caiman tried to look serious, but he stammered a little, “I - I’m doing this for the money. Pick parts that’ll keep my body stable, yeah?”

 

The old goat spoke up, “Will this really cure my disease?”

 

A rodent chimed in, all flowery and giddy, “Absolutely. Our hyperdrugs are always effective!”

 

The goat had a twisted look in his eyes as his vision trailed over the young reptile. “How old are you, ingredient?”

 

The caiman tried to look taller, and probably lied about his age, “37!”

 

Most people were terrible at telling reptilian age.

 

Gosha asked another question of the caiman, “And why do you need the money?” 

 

The caiman had an odd swallow before admitting, “I, uh, needed a few loans… but I ended up biting off more than I could chew, and… well, I lost everything, okay?”

 

The caiman was trying to look proud, or at least confident - he failed at both attempts.

 

The goat rolled his wheelchair closer. “Yes. I see… That is so unfortunate. I too am unfortunate. For ten years, my lower body has been paralyzed… Before I die, I would like to fix my relationship with my wife, and enjoy her company for a night at least. Doctor, I’ve waited enough. Give me what I need.”

 

A rodent chimed up, “Of course! Okay! Prepare to -”

 

Gosha’s voice cut the room, “ Anyone who touches that man, dies .”

 

Everything froze - everyone except for Gosha.

 

If Gosha wasn’t wearing that mask, his venom would have been burning this place down.

 

The huge komodo dragon was stalking forward, filling the room like a dread presence, darkening it with his steps.

 

The flowery rodent protested in confusion, “I’m sorry?”

 

Gosha growled, “Yes, you should be.”

 

The old goat was getting angry, “That material is mine. I paid for it. He already belongs to -”

 

“Himself!” Gosha yelled violently, so loud it shut the goat right up. 

 

The goat’s guards drew their guns - but had no chance to fire. 

 

Legosi sliced one gun in half, and Louis shot a second out of the other guard’s hand. They held their weapons threateningly to keep the guards still.

 

Several rodents went running, shrieking, and Gosha moved so fast, he snatched up the two in charge before they could escape.

 

Gosha’s huge fists held their entire bodies, and if he squeezed even a little, he could end them. 

 

The rodents shrieked, and their own guards were showing up - only to find Gosha’s gumis ready to fire first.

 

The hyperdrug guards put their hands up and slowly set their guns on the ground.

 

Gosha’s voice was an avalanche, “I’m going to make something abundantly clear: this business is over. Everything about it is done. You’re preying on poor people and that is something I won’t abide.”

 

The two rodents echoed each other, “He consented! He agreed! He chose this!”

 

Gosha loomed closer and snarled behind the mask, “You can’t consent to an abuse of power! He was down on his luck, and you’re taking advantage of that to chop him up, like you have others before him. You’re dangling your wealth over him like a prize, taunting him with it so he’ll make a misinformed decision, and that is something I will not tolerate anymore.”

 

It was the caiman who spoke up, “Don’t hurt them! Don’t hurt them, please! I need them! I need the money! I don’t have anything else!”

 

Gosha turned to the caiman, and his expression softened. For a moment, there was kindness in his eyes again. Gosha said, “Then we’re going to fix that. Ibuki? Get him unchained and into some clothes. We’re taking him home with us.” 

 

Ibuki blinked. The lion looked like he wanted to say something, but he stopped himself. Ibuki moved to do as he was told.

 

Gosha glared down at the rodents he held, “I’m going to ask you a question, and you’re going to be honest. You’re going to be honest because your answer will change whether you live past the night. Do you understand me?”

 

They nodded rapidly, stammering, “Yes.”

 

Gosha’s voice growled out, “Are you making Bloodbone?”

 

The rodents blinked. “N-no?” “Would you like us to??”

 

Gosha yelled, “No, I don’t want you to! You’re doctors! You’re fucking doctors! You should know better! The whole world needs doctors, and you have the audacity to carve up good people for an extra buck. No. This shit, buying living people and chopping them up, that’s done. That’s over. That’s history, or I’ll make sure you are history. I am five seconds away from destroying this whole building and burying you in my very own venom. But I am being merciful . I am giving you this one opportunity to go become real doctors…” 

 

“…because this is your second chance! I won’t give you a third. And I’m going to have my people watching you. I have so many people and we’re everywhere. We’re claiming more territory by the hour. And if - if by some galling, suicidal thought - you want to start this up again elsewhere? If you want to go back to profiting off of people’s misfortunes? Then I won’t bother talking to you. We’ll just kill you. We’ll kill you all, you wasteful, psychotic excuses for a living being, putting your fucking pocketbook ahead of people’s lives.”

 

The rodents were shuddering in his grasp.

 

Gosha leaned in closer to them in his hands. He asked, “Have I made myself clear? Because I’m not having this conversation again.”

 

The terrified rodents nodded rapidly, squeaked their surrender in a desperate, rambling sort of way.

 

Gosha set them down on the ground gently. He didn’t care that they ran away.

 

The old komodo turned on the old goat, and both looked like they wanted to kill each other. 

 

The old goat’s clenched jaws were equal parts fearful and wrathful.

 

Gosha snarled, “I don’t know what’s worse: the fact you’d chop up a kid for a night of sex, or the fact you just want to repair your relationship for sex. No wonder your relationship with her is over. That has nothing to do with your legs. You … are just a disappointment. You’re barely even worth my time.”

 

Gosha glared at the goat’s two guards, and pointed toward the door. “This is the part where you take him and leave, very fast, while I’m still feeling generous. Don’t come to the back alleys again.”

 

His guards rolled the goat away very fast indeed.

 

Gosha took out his cellphone to make a call. “Jinma. It’s time. Bring in your boys, and see what you can salvage financially. Then Ibuki’s going to blow this place up.”

 

Ibuki looked straight at Gosha like he hadn’t heard him right. 

…… 

The ride back was tense. 

 

Gosha always kept a bunch of cleaning supplies around, in case of his venom or someone else’s. He took off his mask as carefully as possible, and started to clean the venom that was still lying dangerously on his lips and on the mask. 

 

The mask was the only thing that kept those rodents alive.

 

Legosi and Louis were both quiet, and unsettled. 

 

Dolph was looking stern, maybe even mad. He just wasn’t saying anything. 

 

Gosha said outright, “Ask your questions, Dolph. We can be honest in front of them.”

 

Dolph rumbled, “Why did you do that? The hyperdrug business is huge. They move millions of dollars. It’s popular with the rich, the superficial, the power-hungry, the physically handicapped… If you wanted to move on them, we could have extorted them. The Shishigumi could have been rich.”

 

Gosha said, “And put us back on Yafya’s shit list.”

 

Dolph growled, “I thought you were dealing with him.”

 

Gosha insisted, “We are all dealing with him, always, at all times. That has never been about one single assassination attempt. It’s a way of life. Yafya owns the country. Do you have any idea how many criminal organizations are spread throughout the country?”

 

It was silent but for the running of the car. 

 

Dolph was trying to crunch numbers in his head.

 

Gosha explained, “This was always the problem with the gumis: you guys always think short-term, and it hurts you in the long run. Yafya has his eyes on everyone - and he takes on the worst himself, just as soon as he’s ready. He has priorities. Right now? We are not a priority. With our patrols, we’re even making things easier on him, which will give us even more room to do as we please. So we move carefully, we move subtle…”

 

Gosha knew well, “Yes, the hyperdrug business is wealthy, and it’s also infamous. It’s a big name - a big name that’s been abusing carnivores for decades. Pointlessly. Those stupid drugs don’t even work. Yafya and I wanted to destroy it ourselves, back in the day, but the two of us weren’t enough to keep it from coming back, they had too many backers. So we’re sending a message to them, and everyone else…”

 

“…We’re making it clear that we’re going to take care of carnivores, whether Yafya does or not. We’re making it clear that people can trust our men to act as their protectors in the back alleys - because the police sure won’t. That’ll put more money in our pocket and bring even more carnivores to the market. It’ll be easy to collect protection money when everyone is clamoring for us to protect them.”

 

Dolph still looked tense. “The old boss had us rule through fear. This is … different.”

 

Gosha said, “Things needed to be different. The old ways were getting people dead, not paid.”

 

Dolph relented, but he pointed out, “The others will be asking the same question I did, whether to you or to each other.”

 

Gosha yawned once. “Plus, you asked if I’d take care of our men, and I am. Tonight was also about Ibuki.”

 

The slightest trace of surprise went past Dolph’s face, then he settled back into severity. “Ibuki didn’t need that.”

 

Gosha nodded, “I didn’t say he did. But he’s a good man and he deserved to see that business is dead.”

 

Legosi tried to sign without seeming too intrusive, [What about Ibuki? What’s wrong?]

 

Like an old grandfather, Gosha stated gently, “Nothing you need to worry about it. You boys did good tonight. I appreciate your restraint back there.”

 

Legosi signed, [You’re lying to him, aren’t you? About the money and Yafya? …You just wanted to do something good, didn’t you?]

 

Gosha’s expression got a little more serious. “Another time, Legosi. We can talk about that another time.”

Chapter 47: The masks we wear to be ourselves

Summary:

I was going to post this later in the week but I was reminded it's Ibuki's birthday.

Ibuki deserves happiness.

Notes:

Night Mask time.

Louis and Legosi walked slowly around the borders of the back alley market. Since their first encounter with the drugged jaguar, the back alleys had needed their intervention several times more.

 

A pair of carnivores had been intent on taking the fur from a shaggy dog. Louis gave them a warning shot - to the hand that was holding the knife. 

 

They stopped a pickpocket - or rather, Legosi did. The wolf could run faster than all the rest, and he had already pinned the pickpocket when the rest caught up to him. 

 

They helped a blind carnivore who had somehow gotten extremely far off the right track. That could have been problematic, considering, you know, Legosi’s lack of voice - but it turned out fine. Louis did the speaking, Legosi did the guiding.

 

They ran into a group of herbivores who ‘had no idea where they were’ either. (Louis had a feeling they were lying about that. They probably wanted to see the market for themselves.)

 

And there was another young man, a young wolverine, who’d been tricked into taking Bloodbone like the jaguar. For that they already had a plan. Louis made sure to stay downwind and out of sight while Gouhin and Legosi got the wolverine to take the sedative.

 

Gouhin didn’t want to say it, but Louis and Legosi could both tell: it was worrisome that they hadn’t been able to figure out where that drug was coming from.

 

Today Gouhin drifted to the back of their patrol, to watch the younger pair more. He was going to switch them to one of the other patrols soon, but he was still testing them. Gosha might have had Gouhin dragging his feet about that, trying to keep Legosi safe.

 

Legosi didn’t really want to push much either - cause he wanted Louis to be safe, too.

 

Yafya, however, was getting annoyed.

 

Things were going slow tonight, they hadn’t run into any trouble at all, but Legosi still felt uncomfortable for a different reason. 

 

They passed the rubble and ruins of a once-mighty pharmacy. 

 

They were in their second hour of the night when Legosi actually asked Dope: [Is tattooing common for the Shishigumi?]

 

Louis interpreted. 

 

Dope hummed to himself as he thought. “I wouldn’t say common… but not uncommon? Free has a lot. He’s proud of them, he likes to show them off. He’d show you if you asked.”

 

Louis laughed, “I wouldn’t do that if you paid me.”

 

Dope grinned, “Probably smart of you. Free’s eccentric, but he’s loyal and a great fighter… and he can be pretty sneaky when he tries. …But you’re really asking about Ibuki, aren’t you?”

 

The wolf’s ears drooped a little. [Sorry. …Was it that obvious? I didn’t want to be rude.]

 

Louis interpreted again and patted Legosi on the back, trying to be supportive. 

 

Dope was watching Legosi very closely, and the lion had a little smirk. “It’s not obvious, no. But I assume you’re worried about him.”

 

Legosi and Louis both nodded. 

 

Louis commented, “Gouhin said you had a pretty good head on your shoulders.”

 

Gouhin growled, “What I said is he’s too fucking smart to waste his life with the Shishigumi. That’s what I said.”

 

Dope spoke modestly, “I know a few things and see a few things. It’s why they chose me to be the Shishigumi’s negotiator - before Gosha started taking that job himself. Most of the Shishigumi didn’t finish highschool.”

 

Legosi added, [Ibuki was supposed to be on patrol with us today - and while I’m okay with you standing in for him, the timing did seem … suspect.]

 

Dope nodded slowly, and his face took on a more serious expression. “Ibuki has been with the Shishigumi a long time. We don’t talk about it with him out of respect, but … we’ve seen him get torn up in a few fights. So it’s an open secret that he got tattooed as a kid by that hyperdrug place.”

 

Legosi looked more emotional, more concerned. He had to ask, [Did he get hurt? Is he okay?]

 

Louis didn’t even finish interpreting that, Dope started replying, “That’s a loaded question when it comes to the Shishigumi. I’m not sure if any of us are really ‘okay.’ Maybe Hino.”

 

The red deer frowned, looking between the two. He asked Dope, “You read that?”

 

Dope had a coy look about his face. “I may have started reading a book about sign language. ‘Hurt’ and ‘okay’ are early, under ‘conversational sign’.”

 

Louis laughed softly, “We’ll have to be sneakier, Legosi.”

 

The wolf almost glared. He complained, [I’m not the one lying to people, Louis…]

 

Louis smirked, “Touche.”

 

Dope defended himself, “I just assumed since the boss knows sign, it might help if some of us did, too. I just happen to be a quick study.”

 

Legosi admitted, [It isn’t a bad idea… Louis can’t always be with me. But what about Ibuki?]

 

Dope smiled for a few seconds more, then his smile faded. “If you’re asking if last night upset Ibuki? …Probably? I’m not sure if anybody could go through something like that as a kid and be perfectly alright. But at least tonight, you don’t have to worry about him. He’s not here cause some of the guys and I got him a special invite. We wanted him to celebrate, really work off some steam. He’ll probably be back tomorrow with a new spring in his step - or hungover.”

 

Legosi looked worried anyway. [An invite to where?]

…… 

Oguma could not believe he was doing this.

 

This was … foolish.

 

Childish. 

 

He had so many reasons for why this was a terrible idea, and why he should have had his butler and bodyguard take him right back home.

 

But Louis had put that stupid thought in his head months ago and he still hadn’t been able to shake it.

 

*

 

Louis looked scandalously amused. He whispered, “You want to date a man.”

 

Oguma complained, “I do not. That is a preposterous notion.”

 

Louis’ grin split wider. He kept whispering, but he talked excitedly, “You do. You want a guy. That’s why you’ve never had a girlfriend, or even a fling. That’s why you’ve never had a kid.”

 

Oguma spoke like he was repeating an old lie, “I can’t have children, Louis. You know that. I am simply incapable -”

 

Louis finished playfully, “Because you like guys.”

 

The stag’s eyes were looking tighter, more angry. He said mechanically, “Rebellious. You are just being rebellious. Louis, this behavior is unacceptable. You are out of line. I will not have you disparaging me this way.”

 

Louis insisted quietly, “I’m not disparaging you. I’m excited for you!”

 

Oguma grunted, “There is nothing to be excited about. Even if I wanted such a thing - and I do not - it’s scandalous, it’s unacceptable. My life with the company is too demanding already, I am too old for … youthful experimentation!”

 

Louis scoffed, “People experiment at every age. There are plenty of people out there who like older men. Plenty of people would find you attractive.”

 

Oguma kept his voice measured, “I am not discussing this with you, Louis. I am your father. This is inappropriate. I should be giving you romantic advice, not the other way around!”

 

Louis asked him, “Are you happy?”

 

The sincerity was like a stab wound. 

 

*

 

Oguma didn’t need to say it out loud; they both knew the answer.

 

Louis spent his days at Cherryton, and Oguma spent his days at Horns.

 

Louis had his friends, his classmates, and now even that wolf. Oguma was hardly in a position to judge Louis for that. Oguma couldn’t say he’d turn down a liaison with a carnivore either, if Horns wasn’t involved. 

 

Carnivores had a certain … appeal…

 

A young man needs friends, relationships, comrades. This was all good and expected for Louis. Oguma was glad that Louis had people in his life.

 

But to be the CEO of Horns? …That was lonely.

 

Oguma didn’t have friends, he had employees.

 

He didn’t have classmates, he had competitors.

 

He knew the exact financial value of almost every person in his life. They were numbers, positive or negative, and nothing more. Oguma was good with numbers. It was his great strength, his foundation, the reason he could be so successful … and the reason why he could get into this party tonight.

 

In the city, Oguma’s driver pulled the car up to a restaurant called Cafe Champion .

 

He didn’t leave the vehicle.

 

Oguma had all the time he wanted, to sit there and change his mind and go back home for another night alone. Perhaps the news would be interesting for once, perhaps he’d open a better bottle of wine.

 

“Sir?” His bodyguard, Gideon, asked hesitantly, “Are you sure you want to go in alone?”

 

Oguma was not sure. He was not remotely sure that this was something he should do at all.

 

“Yes.” The word came out of Oguma’s lips even if he didn’t mean it. He kept his usual sternness, his seriousness, and finally left the car.

 

He’d been invited to these sort of things before. All the social elites were. The invitation explained how it would go down.

 

A rhino was staffing the front of the cafe. 

 

Oguma used the password given to him before. “One red mixed juice, please.”

 

They let the old stag in a special door and down the stairs - to some hidden, underground complex. Security was watchful and tight, checking for weapons and worse. A bear was even sniffing Oguma for anything hidden on his person.

 

And then the guard opened another door, and let Oguma inside … to the Night Mask Party.

 

Carnivores. Herbivores. Everybody was wearing masks of a different species than their own, as if to change their identity for a night of hedonism and debauchery. 

 

It was marketed as a secret celebration for “high-class animals,” whatever that meant. You needed an invite, but those weren’t exactly impossible to get. A lot of them were passed around as a business bribe.

 

Light reflected off an old-fashioned disco ball. 

 

A DJ was playing music from a raised platform. 

 

More than a few waiters were dispensing wine freely, rapidly. The smell of alcohol was the only constant, the only challenge to the scent of bodies on the dancefloor.

 

And there, barely a few feet into the club, Oguma saw two men sitting together in a booth… kissing.

 

He attempted to show no expression at all, no shock or displeasure or even relief. 

 

In his entire life, Oguma had not once seen two men kiss each other in the same room. That was … salacious. Forbidden.

 

And here … it was, apparently … allowed. 

 

No one else was paying them any notice, no comments were flung their way, and Oguma barely had to look any further to see two women kissing on the dancefloor.

 

The stag felt the tips of his ears burning.

 

Off to the side, there was a special fitting room where people could rent a change of clothes, or just a mask. 

 

The masks were mandatory - and that was one of the only reasons Oguma had even come here. 

 

Oguma wanted to be anonymous. 

 

Oguma walked inside as fast as he could without looking afraid. 

 

The stag didn’t spend time thinking about it. He grabbed the closest mask that would fit a horned herbivore, paid the attendant on duty, and put it on - the sooner, the better.

 

He stepped back out into the party feeling an entirely different sentiment. 

 

He was cloaked, invisible, unknown … and directionless.

 

Too many things were still happening at once. The club was a place of chaos, he didn’t even know where to start. Oguma thought anonymity would be good, but he felt unlike himself, unsure of where he actually stood in this room.

 

His world was numbers, values, financial transactions - and he couldn’t gauge the value of anything or anyone in this chaotic space.

 

Across the dark club, Oguma saw another set of antlers like his at the bar, and he headed towards it like it was a lighthouse in a storm. 

 

Maybe he would have headed the other way if that was a rack he recognized from Horns. But it wasn’t. And in this sea of carnivores and herbivores and everyone else … another set of antlers might make him feel secure.

 

At home?

 

Oguma was looking warily elsewhere, not at the other antlered male. His voice was barely a whisper over the loud music, “Tell me you feel out of place here.”

 

The other man laughed, a rich bass sound. He was halfway through a glass of wine and agreed, “Oh, completely. It’s my first time, too.”

 

Oguma turned to look at him more properly, “Did someone - oh. My apologies. I didn’t mean to intrude.”

 

The other man was not a deer. 

 

Those antlers were fake. The lion’s mane was even more obvious around his throat and jaws, because the mask the lion wore only covered the upper half of his head. 

 

The carnivore’s maw was uncovered for food and drink, and his breath already smelled heavily of alcohol. 

 

He looked solid in a suit though.

 

The lion replied, “You don’t have to apologize. You’re not interrupting anything, I’m alone. I’m only surprised the antlers fooled you.”

 

Oguma was glad for his own mask. He could almost say he was embarrassed. Oguma just stated, “I was not being attentive.”

 

There were three small plastic bags in front of the lion, filled with some kind of powder - a drug perhaps, marked with a ‘B.’  

 

The lion quickly shoved them into his jacket pocket, for safekeeping.

 

Oguma was about to leave when the lion asked, “It’s overwhelming, isn’t it? …The club?”

 

The old stag hesitated. 

 

“Yes,” Oguma found himself answering. “I am far from my element here.”

 

Oguma immediately wanted to take it back, recant his confession. He wasn’t even inebriated. Why did he keep saying things? He was making a fool of himself, showing weakness. 

 

Stupid masks. 

 

But the lion just nodded understandingly. “I feel the same. They didn’t have places like this when I was younger … or … I at least never heard about them.”

 

The stag relaxed slightly onto an adjacent bar stool. Oguma admitted, “I didn’t either.”

 

The lion sipped his wine. “What were you going to ask me?”

 

Oguma said, “Excuse me?”

 

“Before,” the lion began with genuine interest in his voice, “You started to ask me something, before you realized I’m not an herbivore. What was it?”

 

Oguma hesitated again. “It was a jest, mostly. I was going to ask if you got put up to this - if someone made you come here.”

 

The lion gave a drawn out shrug of those broad shoulders. “In a manner of speaking… My associates are the closest thing to a family I have, but I’m a private person. There are things I can’t talk about. They were trying to be considerate, I think. They said I should celebrate, maybe meet someone nice, have victory sex - like that’s supposed to be easy.” The lion drank more. “Maybe for normal people. Not so much, for people like me.”

 

As the bartender walked by, she automatically refilled the lion’s drink.

 

She tried to ask what Oguma wanted, but he turned her down. 

 

Oguma didn’t know what he wanted. 

 

He knew he should have left. 

 

He knew he should never have come. 

 

So why … why could he not look away?

 

Maybe he was lonely, too.

 

Oguma asked out of curiosity, “What kind of person are you?”

 

The lion gazed longer at his newly filled glass. “One perpetually out of luck.”

 

Oguma replied, “You must have some luck if you got into this establishment.”

 

The lion said, “Not the right kind. I’m supposed to be a gangster.”

 

Oguma tried to process that for a moment. He very rapidly was trying to crunch details and attributes, the kind of physicality and mindset needed for a gangster’s life - or at least what Oguma knew of it. Rapid assessment was second nature for the old stag. 

 

Nothing expressly stood out in his mind, so Oguma asked to clarify, “So what’s the problem then?”

 

The lion tilted his wine glass one way, then the other. “A gangster … must be a certain kind of man. …A gangster is not supposed to be attracted to the same sex.”

 

Oguma felt himself hurt in sympathy. “…Yes. I imagine that would complicate things.”

 

The lion took another long sip of his alcohol. “But the boss’ grandson just came out to everyone, rather dramatically, and my associates are … handling it better than I expected. To love another man… to even enjoy their company for a night, it always seemed too taboo, even for us. I thought them too misogynistic. They joke around, they say ‘wine and women are foxtails.’ Cat toys. …I’m with them when it comes to wine. I have to fake interest in the rest.”

 

Oguma could only admit this behind the safety of a mask: “I have some familiarity with that… Some days are harder to fake than others. Correct?”

 

The lion nodded. “Today feels like one of those days… so I didn’t turn them down when they gave me the invitation. They knew I’m partial to the meat of red deer, so they even got me this mask, too. Maybe they thought if I had something to hide behind, I may relax, actually give in to excess, ‘get laid.’ …I doubt I can do that - but at least I have wine. I suppose I’ll have to spin them some story in the morning.”

 

The stag tensed up at the mention of meat. “You’re being frightfully honest with an herbivore you just met.”

 

The lion rumbled a soft laugh, “My apologies. For a carnivore to step inside a party like this - and especially to wear an herbivore mask - I had to get nice and drunk first. The alcohol dulls our instincts, suppresses the hunger for meat. It makes us more docile for a few hours. And then it’s the job of the bartenders and the waiters to keep us that way, so we’re safer. So maybe it’s all the alcohol talking, or maybe it’s the mask. Who knows? Maybe this was all a joke and my associates just wanted to see me hungover tomorrow.”

 

Oguma eventually managed, “I suppose there are worse ways to spend a night alone… I do enjoy wine myself. But, admittedly, I’m so used to maintaining my image, I don’t think I’ve ever actually indulged enough to the point of drunkenness. It just wouldn’t be appropriate.”

 

The lion lifted his glass, “Or safe.”

 

Oguma repeated, “Or safe, yes…”

 

The lion turned to face him more - mask to mask. He asked, “What about you? Did someone put you up to this?”

 

The stag grumbled, “In a manner of speaking. My son, if you believe it.” 

 

Disbelief was in the lion’s voice, “You’re married?”

 

Oguma scoffed bitterly, “Far from it. My orientation is … an exceedingly frustrating matter. My homosexuality is such that the naked female body does less than nothing for me. My early attempts to ‘fake it’ with a woman were an embarrassing disaster. They assumed I had erectile dysfunction and I didn’t try to correct them…”

 

“…But … I run a prestigious company… and I’m the last of my family. So I wanted a son. I adopted him when he was young. Bought him from the back alley market, technically. I wanted everyone to think he was my own, so no one would contest his inheritance.”

 

It was the lion’s turn to process something. 

 

The lion eventually replied, “That was kind of you.”

 

Oguma said, “I’m not so sure. Some days I wonder if it might have been for my own satisfaction. I was … alone. It was mercenary of me, assuming I could simply buy a family of my own.”

 

The lion stated, “That was the opposite of mine. My family lives. Somewhere. But … they sold me to drugmakers, back when I was twelve.”

 

Oguma was confused. He questioned, “Sold you to drugmakers? I’m not familiar with that. How would that even work? Indentured servitude? A form of internship?”

 

Oguma remembered something almost immediately after he said that, and he wanted to hit himself for it. 

 

The lion began pulling up his left sleeve, baring a series of plain black tattoos. ‘Recovery from exhaustion’ was written across his forearm. 

 

It confirmed what Oguma feared. 

 

The lion explained it like it was an old scar, “Makes you want to laugh, right? …There are these charlatans who claim people’s bodies can be turned into a ‘hyperdrug.’ They’d chop off parts of a person’s body, grind it down, and somehow that material is supposed to cure other people of whatever might ail them. …Superstitious medicine. Quackery, really. But they like to keep their ‘materials’ fresh. They keep you alive as long as they can, taking pieces of you at a time - until your body can’t live anymore. …I have a lot of tattoos from them.”

 

‘Haunted’ was not the right word; Oguma felt sick deep inside, twisted and torn. “I’m sorry. I don’t even know what to say to that. That sounds … monstrous.”

 

“It is,” the lion confessed like it was painful to even be serious about it. He finished the rest of his drink in one go. The lion’s body wilted under the weight of his suit. “I apologize. I don’t ever bring that up. Must be the alcohol.”

 

“No,” Oguma tried to be supportive. “It’s fine. I can’t imagine how much that would hang over you. …You probably can’t speak of it much with your associates, can you?”

 

The lion slowly shook his head. “Not with them. Not with anyone. But I got very lucky. I escaped while I was still whole. …I just didn’t have anywhere else to go in a country like this. The police would have taken me right back to my parents - and that would probably have been a death sentence. So I scrounged in the back alleys for a few years on my own, homeless, before the old Chief of the Shishigumi was willing to accept me.”

 

Oguma asked through the pain, “How could your family do that? How could they put you through that - put anyone through that?”

 

The lion stared through the glass of his drink. “I don’t know. I’ve asked myself that same question so many times. I wondered if they knew about me, if perhaps they could tell before I did … or maybe they just needed the money. I might have understood that. There are only so many places you can turn to, when you need money in a hurry. But the more I think about it, the more it consumes me…” 

 

“…It’ll swallow me up if I’m not careful. So I don’t want the answer anymore. They sold me to the market. End of story. I got free, but not really. I was still stuck in the market. When the old boss of the Shishigumi was finally willing to take me on, he told me to act like the ‘King of Beasts,’ like that was just the part I had to play. …So I did. And I got damn good at it.”

 

The lion gave a dark scoff of a laugh under his breath. “…It’s almost funny, now that I think about it… I wasn’t right for my parents… so I had to make sure I was right for the Shishigumi. …No wonder I’ve gotten so good at pretending.”

 

The lion tipped over his almost-empty cup on purpose. He watched with detachment as the very last drops slipped out onto the bar.

 

Oguma tried to remember, “My son said something like that…”

 

The lion’s voice was weaker, “Oh yeah?”

 

Oguma nodded, “He came out to me under … distressing circumstances. He was begging for help, his boyfriend was missing. I always assumed he was straight before then. …They also got very lucky. The matter was resolved safely and to his satisfaction, but we danced around the topic for a few weeks more. He didn’t know about me either - and I didn’t want him to…”

 

“…But he told me later … he told me that he was happy to be himself, for the first time in a long time. Being with his boyfriend … made him happy. He said he didn’t want to live life just playing a part on a stage, to marry a woman just because it was expected. He didn’t want to keep pretending. He said, it’d be harder for him to live every moment as an actor.”

 

The lion stared at his empty glass again. “It must feel nice, not having to pretend.”

 

Oguma agreed, “Yes. It must…”

 

The lion tried to sit up straighter, roll back his heavy shoulders. “…He’s lucky he had you to get him out of the market. I tried when I was a kid, but I kept ending up back there. Carnivores need meat to be strong. I had to be strong to survive on my own. Survival is all I know how to do. And now I don’t know if I could ever live somewhere else. I don’t know anywhere else. I don’t know anything else.”

 

Was that despair, holding the lion down?

 

The fear of bad luck to come crashing down and ruin things again?

 

The business executive felt a plan forming in the back of his mind, like he was in a boardroom meeting with a problem to solve. Oguma asked, “…What if I helped?”

 

The lion actually laughed, “You don’t even know me.”

 

The stag admitted, “Maybe not, but … I think I’d like to.” He offered his hand, “So let’s start there. Hello. It is nice to meet you. You may call me Oguma, the red deer.”

 

The lion hesitated. He held his empty glass tight - and as the bartender walked by, she filled it up again.

 

They both looked at it. 

 

Oguma’s hand was still open. Inviting. Waiting. 

 

Another second slipped by, before the lion carefully let go of the glass of wine.

 

His big paw wrapped slowly around the stag’s hand instead. 

 

He admitted at last, “Ibuki. My name … is Ibuki.”

Chapter 48: A hybrid year

Summary:

I don't think anyone expected the year to turn out this way.

Leano has been working on her mental health as well.

Notes:

By popular demand, it's Leano time.

Sorry it took a while, the family has been going through a rough patch and I've had less energy for creative writing.

I lost the website but TaiArts drew some amazing fanart of her. The link for it still works on Chapter 29.

It was funny, how things change over time. 

 

Leano was used to the slow gradual shift of the years. She had watched it play out across her mirror, as bit-by-bit her fur turned to scales. She could compare her eyes in old photographs, and see how different they’d become.

 

This year … things had not been so gradual. 

 

Legosi went to Cherryton. That was the first thing. 

 

For so long, her life revolved around teaching him and taking care of him. It made up the bulk of her days, and she liked that. She found she enjoyed teaching, and enjoyed learning more about the world.

 

It was never like she’d been a terrible student, but as a kid, her own mind hadn’t been so attentive to her textbooks.

 

Despite growing up looking all wolf, she realized early that her mind was colder, more reptilian. She spent a lot of effort doctoring her facial expressions, the way she sat, what she said, what to do with her fluffy tail and pointed ears. She watched a lot of actors and her canid classmates, trying to make herself seem like one of them.

 

It was almost funny, but homeschooling Legosi had taught her a lot more than her own schoolroom days.

 

Now, with Legosi boarding at Cherryton, her days were suddenly open and free. Even with her time spent educating herself on the internet, she had so much more free time. And Gosha worked construction most of the day, most of the week, leaving her by herself in their own little home. 

 

So she started doing more things just for herself. 

 

At first it was just watching a few more shows on TV, something to enjoy over the week. She always did have a soft spot for actors and actresses, emotional dramas. She used to watch things with Legosi all the time, when he was younger. There was such artistry to fine theater, but it had been ages since she’d actually gone to a theater herself. She almost never left her home.

 

And TV was also how she recognized her agoraphobia. 

 

A character had it on one of her new shows. She didn’t think that much of it at first. She’d heard the term before - ‘the fear of leaving your home,’ or something like that. She instinctively glanced at her own front door - but as the show continued, she found herself relating to the character’s experiences. 

 

Leano had spent the better part of the last decade never leaving this house. 

 

She didn’t think she had a phobia. 

 

She wasn’t actually scared of leaving the house, she just didn’t want to. 

 

Home was just … safe. 

 

Home was comforting. Home was secure. Home … wouldn’t judge her. 

 

She kept glancing at the door. 

 

She felt weird, uncomfortable, at the thought of stepping outside, where other people were.

 

Day in, day out. 

 

Gosha’s schedule was like clockwork: wake up, honor his wife’s shrine, pray for good things, work construction most of the day. 

 

Leano … was still here.

 

The empty hours were starting to bother her. 

 

So she did what she’d done all these years: use the internet for research. She started looking up symptoms on the internet, started reading other people’s comments and experiences with agoraphobia. It wasn’t just the character on TV, she ended up relating to a lot of people who had it.

 

It took her a while to make a decision, but she had nothing but time.

 

She looked up the number for a nearby mental health clinic.

 

“Hello. Yes. …I would like to make an appointment.”

……

She didn’t mention it to Gosha. He would have driven her, taken her himself, but she was feeling self-conscious about it. She had stopped being honest with Gosha when she was still a kid, and kept most of her troubles to herself.

 

She scheduled it for when she knew he was working.

 

She had a few weeks to build herself up, to prepare for it.

 

She tried to make what she considered a ‘trial run,’ to head to the clinic before the right date.

 

Problem 1? Her clothing.

 

Leano had always cared greatly about her appearance, the way others perceived her. She wanted to look her best.

 

‘Best,’ in her head, was not reptilian, and not hybrid. She was both of those things. She preferred to cover up.

 

After an hour or two she eventually settled on an outfit that would have been more appropriate in winter. She had a nice long-sleeved shirt and pants, a pair of gloves, and a shawl to cover most of her head.

 

A pair of sunglasses could finish her disguise.

 

She considered hiding her tail, but she thought the rest was sufficient. 

 

As long as no one paid too close attention to her nose, she could probably pass for a ‘normal reptile’ - whatever normal meant.

 

Problem 2? How to get there.

 

She initially planned to just walk to the clinic, since Gosha had the car. But trying to do so, to actually walk the distance… caused its own problems.

 

Legosi had experienced panic attacks on and off for years, and she helped him through them often enough, so she recognized the symptoms when she had one. The discomfort and anxiety of leaving their home started building the further she went. She kept worrying about everyone else traveling about - all the other eyes and unknown places she had to walk past.

 

Being alone compounded the old fears. 

 

She went back home before she got halfway, and decided to research public transportation. She used to use it all the time, when she was a wolf and didn’t want people to know about Gosha.

 

It was time for a refresher course.

……

Anxious and uncomfortable, she did actually get to her appointment on the right day and time.

 

It took a lot longer than she expected. There were all these medical forms to fill out, a few questionnaires about her symptoms, family history…

 

Considering Toki and Legosi?

 

Yeah… mental health concerns did seem to run in the family…

 

And that sort of led to problem 3: medication can help reduce symptoms - and are an important part of treating a neurochemical imbalance - but consistent therapy mattered. Consistent therapy was needed to affect brain change, and thus life change.

 

Therapy … is work.

 

There’s no getting around that. If you want to get better, you have to put in the work. If you wreck a limb, you need to do physical therapy - and that means exercises. 

 

In this case, mental health exercises.

 

Leano’s therapist was a very nice reptile woman. That was Leano’s decision, since a canine therapist might make things more difficult for her on a personal level. Her therapist didn’t have experience with hybrid clients, but who actually did? They worked together on a number of relaxation techniques, but it was up to Leano to practice them regularly at home. She also got a number of information sheets for homework.

 

But treating agoraphobia is also going to be uncomfortable at first - just like if you were using exposure therapy for a different kind of phobia. (We certainly know no one like that.)

 

Using public transportation was actually a very good start - though her therapist knew using it was probably uncomfortable as well. It was important for Leano to make other trips outside the home, to apply what she’d been learning in other safe places.

 

And that was grocery shopping.

 

Leano started to go grocery shopping on her own, to a little market she could walk to by herself. She went while most people would be working, so it wasn’t too crowded.

 

She only bought a few things, she didn’t want to stay there long, but she managed. She used her skills. She got all the way home, and allowed herself a small, relieved bit of laughter.

 

Tea and yogurt - such little things, but she felt proud about getting them herself.

 

She didn’t even tell Gosha about it, but after making a few trips over the next month, Gosha actually noticed the new groceries appearing around the house. 

 

He was trying very hard not to make a big deal out of it, but she knew: he was proud.

 

She was proud of herself, too.

 

Then the year changed even more, when Legosi was kidnapped, and Gosha ended up back in the gumis.

…… 

A phone call from Chapter 35.

 

*

 

Gosha sat in the boss’ room of the Shishigumi’s tower. 

 

He reclined back on the huge couch as he read some more reports, using glasses to help his aging vision.

 

Leano was on the other side of a phone call, making a soup for her dinner. She spoke softly, “It just seems … unnecessary.”

 

Gosha admitted, “I suppose it is. …No. You’re right. It is unnecessary…”

 

Leano was stirring the pot slowly. “You don’t have to. It’s not too late. You could leave, at any time you want. You should be leaving this to Yafya…”

 

Gosha set down the report, and focused on the phone. He said slowly, “I don’t know if that’s true.”

 

Leano gently insisted, “You could make it true. You were strong enough to break in. You’re strong enough to break out.”

 

Gosha gave a small laugh, “If I really tried. But I’m unwilling to take that many lives, unless I have to. …I’d ask you not to worry, but I know you will. But I know how to handle men like these. I used to be one of them.”

 

Leano whispered a fear, “And you’re becoming one again…”

 

Gosha breathed softly. He made an obvious attempt to change the conversation, “Is Savon treating you right?”

 

Leano said, “I don’t need someone bringing me groceries, Dad. And I don’t need a bodyguard either. I told you, I can handle myself.”

 

Gosha grumbled, “Well, I’m allowed to worry, too. I don’t like the idea of you living alone.”

 

Leano nearly teased, “And whose fault is that? You can’t have it both ways, Dad: doting family man, or gumi mob boss. You have to pick one.”

 

Gosha grunted, “Well, we’ll see about that.”

 

There was a knock at the door. A deep voice called through it, “Boss? You asked for me?”

 

Gosha whispered fast, “I’ll call you later, honey. Take care.”

 

*

 

……

There was a knock at the door. 

 

Leano stopped drawing in her sketchbook. She frowned. 

 

She recognized the knock - she’d heard it a few times by now - but it was the wrong day.

 

Leano got up from the couch, set aside her sketchbook, and picked up a shawl. She wrapped it around her head before answering the door. 

 

Savon was outside waiting for her, with several grocery bags in hand. His Dokugumi mask only partially hid the smirk on his face as he said, “Deliveries!”

 

Leano looked more suspicious today. “It’s Tuesday.”

 

Savon nodded cheerily, “That it is!”

 

Leano squinted at him. “Gosha normally shops on the weekend.”

 

Savon gave a soft laugh. “Yeah, Gosha’s been a little busy lately. He forgot about it this weekend. He just remembered today.”

 

Leano nodded quietly. “Mmhmm. And here I thought he just died.”

 

Savon laughed more, “No, ma’am! The Venom of the Black Devil is still invincible.” He held up the bags again, “Should I leave them here or inside? You’ve got frozens.”

 

Leano opened the door a bit more, “You know the way…”

 

Savon waltzed inside the familiar space, careful to kick off his shoes. He didn’t want to get the place dirty. 

 

Leano followed after him, complaining largely to herself, “I keep telling my father I don’t want him sending groceries. I am fully capable of doing my own shopping.”

 

Savon’s face remained cheery as he started putting away groceries in the freezer. “You are, as always, welcome to argue about that with him - not me.”

 

Leano had a tiny smirk. “Yes. I remember. ‘When the boss of two gumis asks you to make deliveries’ -”

 

Savon held up a bag of fruit and playfully finished, “I make deliveries!” 

 

Leano took the fruit, and started putting it away in a different corner of the kitchen. 

 

The two of them worked quietly for a moment. 

 

Gosha was trying to be helpful, but Leano hadn’t actually told him about her anxiety, or the homework from her therapist. She was still keeping it to herself, like she had so many other things before.

 

Savon was just caught in the middle. She made allowances for him.

 

She eventually asked, “So… done anything diabolical lately?”

 

Savon laughed again, like the change in the universe amused him so much. “No, ma’am. Gosha has us playing a very different game than that.”

 

She teased, “A game, is it? Running with a gang?”

 

Savon winked. “Just an expression. You’d be proud of him. We’re fixing a lot of problems in the back alleys, making the world a better place.”

 

Leano leaned back against the kitchen counter. “He used to work in construction, making buildings.”

 

Savon replied, “Well, now he’s building good.”

 

The phrasing took her slightly off guard, but her reptilian demeanor was often flat. She didn’t really feel like putting on a fake face for Savon.

 

She said critically, “You’ve always seemed to hold him in high regard.”

 

Savon looked at a small box of tea from the store. “Most definitely, ma’am. He’s a legend.”

 

Leano countered, “He’s a grandfather.”

 

Savon tilted his head from one side to the other, “The face of a grandfather can look more than one way.”

 

Leano was still suspicious of that. They were nearly done with the groceries. 

 

Leano eventually asked, “Speaking of faces… why do you always wear that mask?”

 

Savon joked, “Oh, I just think it’s terribly stylish. Makes me look cool. A gangster has to look cool somehow or what’s the point?”

 

Leano almost laughed. “You might want to think again. Your style could use some updating.”

 

Savon dramatically clutched his chest, “Oh! Oh, the pain! And here I thought you didn’t have venom!”

 

Okay, that time, Leano did laugh a little. 

 

Savon allowed himself a little smirk. Then he reached behind his head, to undo the straps of the mask. He was still smiling a little. 

 

She hadn’t really been able to tell before, but he had a rather prominent scar across the left side of his face.

 

Savon seemed almost nostalgic as he explained, “The Dokugumi consider our venom a serious matter. To us, it’s practically sacred. To everyone else, it’s poison. The Dokugumi has always been the strongest gang, but we don’t need venom to prove that. And when we use our venom… well, that’s when we’re fighting to kill. So we’re playing with a handicap, just to make things fair for everybody else.”

 

The thought amused her somehow. 

 

Leano teased, “Why, Savon, that almost sounds noble of you.”

 

Savon winked. “Almost. …And as long as I’m ‘almost’ being noble, is there anything else you need a hand with while I’m here?”

 

Leano shook her head. “No. I’m fine.”

 

Savon gave a nod in return, and then strapped the mask back around his head. He said, “Well then… I imagine I’ll see you in a week or two.”

 

Leano started leading him out. “Yes. A week or two…” She stopped suddenly as she had an idea. “Actually, there is something.”

 

Savon smirked. “Name it.”

 

Leano spoke seriously, “If my father insists on you being his errand boy, then I insist on you taking me with you. I don’t want you shopping for me. I want to do it myself.”

 

Savon only frowned because, “I thought you didn’t want a bodyguard.”

 

Leano insisted, “I don’t, but I need to get out of this house more. If you take me with you, you can still be following his orders.”

 

Savon laughed several times. “As you wish, Leano.”

……

It became a pattern: Savon would text ahead, knock on the door in a familiar rhythm, and they’d have a little outing together. 

 

Savon had his own little car, but every so often she wanted to just walk instead.

 

Ever since Legosi had been kidnapped, Leano had been talking to Gosha less - not out of annoyance, but just because Gosha was so busy - so she enjoyed hearing a little bit about how things were going for him.

 

Savon was pushing a cart of the groceries she’d picked out so far. He told her, “I think he’s trying to make up for lost time.”

 

Leano was holding a pair of canned goods and trying to make a decision. She repeated, “Lost time?”

 

Savon nodded. “Do you mind me making an educated guess? He doesn’t tell me everything, but -”

 

“I would appreciate knowing more,” she interrupted. She added a soft complaint, “Because to me, it looks like he’s been changing ever since he joined up with you.”

 

Savon said, “Begging your pardon, but … he was one of us before he was your father.”

 

Leano scowled at him, “Is that supposed to make it better? He’s been a family man a lot longer than a gangster.”

 

Savon clarified, “I don’t mean that as a good or bad thing. But you can only do so much when you’re running with a gang; you’re rarely in charge. And now … he’s the leader of not one, but two of the strongest gumis. Gosha has the power to change things on a scale he never could before. So… I think he’s making up for lost time, and doing as many good things as he can while he’s in power.”

 

Leano exhaled slowly, trying to keep herself from an audible sigh. She put a can in the cart. “I just worry for him. I know he’s a good man - but those gangs aren’t.”

 

As they turned a corner in the shopping mart, Savon noticed a package of salt, and it reminded him of the ocean. He asked instead, “Have you ever heard of sea glass?”

 

Leano repeated, “Sea glass? What kind of sea glass?”

 

Savon explained, “Like… glass shards on a shoreline. I always found them interesting, in a symbolic sort of way. When broken glass ends up in the ocean, the waves crush it and grind it down into smaller shards. Over time, the sharp corners erode, and the surfaces become worn, like frosted glass. The rougher the waves, the more polished they get.”

 

Leano was suspicious. “I imagine that’s a metaphor? That the back alleys are, what, turning my father into something beautiful?”

 

Savon laughed loudly, “No! I’m saying … your father is the ocean. And in his waves, he’s making everyone else better.”

 

Leano didn’t reply for a moment. She pretended to be focused on the nearby shelf.

 

Savon was worried he said the wrong thing. “Leano?”

 

Leano had a different look on her face, some confusion of colder emotions. She said, “…That’s kind of you.”

 

Savon tried to be reassuring, “He’s a good man - and you’re good family for worrying about him. I can’t say he’s in no danger… but a lot of people would die to keep him safe, I promise.”

 

Leano idly tossed him a box off the shelf. “I’ll feel better when no one has to die.”

……

Savon didn’t really leave after they put the groceries away at her home. She didn’t really tell him to leave, either. She was vaguely getting used to his presence.

 

Leano sat curled up on one side of the couch, with a colored pencil in hand and a sketchbook in her lap.

 

Savon took his mask off to have some tea. He drank a little before asking, “So what are you always putting in those sketchbooks of yours?”

 

Leano angled the book further away from him. She protested, “This is … nothing, really.”

 

Savon sat in a chair a few paces away. His face was genuinely interested, but he kept his distance out of respect. “You draw a lot for something that’s supposed to be nothing.”

 

Leano’s reptilian features did not show embarrassment that strongly, but as a komodo, Savon knew the signs. She said, “It’s … my meditation, if you must know.”

 

Savon calmly asked, “Like therapy? Is Gouhin helping with that?”

 

Leano held the book a little closer, and wondered if she cared enough to keep it secret. “No, not Gouhin. I don’t really want to talk about it with my father yet, and apparently those two are thick as thieves these days.” 

 

Savon laughed, “They're certainly something.”

 

Leano still worried over her book. She eventually admitted, “I have a form of anxiety… Not like Legosi, but not very different either. Drawing helps give my mind something else to focus on - something productive, that I can clearly see I’m making. I find satisfaction in that. I like that I can still make something beautiful.”

 

Savon was a bit confused. He quoted her, “‘Still make’? I don’t follow.”

 

Leano scowled at him, “Don’t be rude. I didn’t say they were perfect drawings.”

 

Savon was quick to correct himself, “I didn’t mean it like that! You sounded like you were implying something. I just don’t know what.”

 

Leano insisted coldly, “Don’t lie to me, Savon. We’re both adults. I don’t need you coddling my feelings. You can very clearly see how I look.”

 

Savon was still frowning. “…Do you think that poorly of yourself?”

 

Leano wasn’t looking at him. She was sketching angrily instead. “I was a very pretty wolf growing up and now I’m not. I’ve accepted that, and that took a very long time. I haven’t been pretty in years.”

 

Savon spoke very carefully, “I never knew you as a wolf - and perhaps you didn’t notice, but - I’m not a wolf either.”

 

Leano refused to look up. “No, you’re a gangster who works for my father. You worship the ground he walks on. You’d do anything to get closer to him.”

 

Savon actually laughed, “Leano? Seriously? Messing with the boss’ daughter is like, the fastest way to get yourself killed. Gosha only trusted me to make deliveries cause he figured I was smart enough to not do something stupid. So I repeat: I am not a wolf. I don’t look at things with wolf eyes.”

 

Leano almost laughed back. Almost. She quoted him, “Wolf eyes?”

 

Savon hesitated, and tried to rephrase it, “Wolf vision? Wolf perception? I don’t know how to put it - but you know what I mean, right? People like apples and oranges, but you can’t judge an orange by how apple-like it looks.”

 

Leano had the slightest amusement at her lips. “Apples and oranges? Really, Savon?”

 

Savon tried to make a joke, “Hey, I already used my sea glass metaphor! That’s the best one I got!”

 

Okay, Leano did smile a little at that. She shook her head slowly, and glanced back down at her hand over the sketchbook. She remembered, “My mother had a nice metaphor. Dad said she actually loved the way my father’s scales looked. She said they shined like jewels.”

 

Savon was grinning. “Now that sounds like a nice metaphor. No wonder he fell for her. Most mammals think we’re ugly.”

 

Leano sighed playfully and went back to drawing. “I wouldn’t know.”

 

Savon sounded a little coy, “Well, you have your father’s scales. I think that means your scales shine like jewels, too.”

 

Leano threatened him with the back of her pencil, “Alright, now that was a pick-up line.”

 

Savon smirked, “Maybe just a little one. Please don’t tell your father.”

……

Savon enjoyed watching her work as the months continued on. He sat beside her on the couch today, and said, “You should really think about selling these.”

 

Leano frowned to herself. “I’ve thought about it, but not seriously. They’re just sketches.”

 

Savon insisted, “Your ‘sketches’ are beautiful, your backgrounds gorgeous, and you give the characters style. I love your use of colored pencils. I would wear some of these myself.”

 

Leano teased, “Oh, you like to wear dresses?”

 

Savon rolled his eyes, “Not the women’s clothes. You know what I meant. You give them great outfits! The guys and the girls. You could be a great designer, and you already are a great artist.”

 

Leano murmured, “Mmhmm. I’ll take that under advisement.”

 

Savon said, “I mean it! They’re beautiful. I’m sure people would pay good money for stuff like this.”

 

Leano replied, “Drawing is just something I do for my mental health. I wouldn’t even know how to start selling it.”

 

Savon had to think. “Well, I’m not a tech person either, but some of the gangs are. Gosha has Jinma and Ozone working on a way to sell meat over the Internet, and that’s not even legal. They could probably fix you up with something legal easily.”

 

Leano stated, “I’m really not comfortable working with the gangs. I want my loved ones to live. Your lifestyle is far too dangerous as far as I’m concerned.”

 

Savon said, “Oh please. Things are safer than they’ve ever been! We didn’t even have a turf war this month. The Madaragumi didn’t show, and the Inarigumi formally abstained. They might even be joining us before the next one.”

 

Leano sighed out more heavily. “I’ll still sleep much happier when Gosha retires. …At least Legosi is safe.”

 

Savon asked playfully, “What about me? Will you be happier if I quit?”

 

Leano prodded him with the back of her pencil, “You can go die for all I care.”

 

Savon laughed loudly, clutching his chest, “Oh! Oh, the venom strikes again! I’m wounded!”

 

Leano’s teasing expression shifted to a real smile. Then she shook her head. “Worrying about people is draining. Anxiety already makes everything feel heavier.”

 

Savon tried to be more serious. “Listen, I can’t promise everything will be okay… There are always going to be dangers no matter what job you have. But we all love Gosha and Legosi. We’re looking out for them, I promise.”

 

Leano resigned herself and went back to drawing. “I suppose that’s the best I can hope for…”

 

Savon nodded, “Plus, it’s not like the two of them even need much help. Legosi totally takes after his grandfather. That kid is wicked fast, crazy strong, and one of the better fighters we have.”

 

Leano blinked. “What?”

 

Savon clarified, “I just mean, we don’t have to do much. Legosi’s great! He’s awesome on patrol, he and Louis both. I shit you not, the other week I saw Legosi cut a gun in half. It was beautiful.”

 

Leano’s eyes were widening. “He what?”

 

Savon tried to gesture, “Cut a gun in half? With that sword he always carries? He’s an artist. With a blade, I mean.”

 

Leano was trying very hard to control her expression, control her voice. “Savon. Please clarify something. Are you saying Legosi is in the gumi?”

 

Fear froze Savon’s blood. “You … didn’t know?”

 

Leano’s pencil snapped in her hand. “Savon? We’re going for a drive.”

In the back of Savon’s mind, all he could think was ‘Ohhh, no… Oh shit. …Fuck.’

Chapter 49: Begin the hunt

Summary:

Leano said, “I don’t need someone bringing me groceries, Dad. And I don’t need a bodyguard either. I told you, I can handle myself.”

Hell has no fury like a *squints at the script* mama hybrid concerned about her vigilante son?

Notes:

Lego’s got two fights today.

He looks scary, but he’s small…

Tonight was the big night. 

 

Louis and Legosi had been on the regular patrol for so long, but Gouhin and Gosha had been holding them back. Gosha was just worried, but Gouhin refused to let anyone catch carnivores away from him unless they proved themselves first - and that included Legosi. 

 

Haru had already spent a few weeks at the clinic, helping and learning from the other medical staff. Gouhin’s initial agreement, that she could only work at the clinic around him? Well, that didn’t last long.

 

There was always something that needed doing at the clinic, between paperwork and supplies. She was only supposed to be getting a few quick lessons from support staff, but the moment she saw something needed doing, she did it. She was always self-motivated like that. The staff grew to love her quick, including gumi guards.

 

Haru, like Louis, had a weird way of endearing herself to carnivores. The lions joked that it was no wonder the boss’ grandson was dating both.

 

But tonight, the clinic needed to bring someone in… and in all likelihood, it was going to be the hard way. 

 

Gouhin gave Louis and Legosi a sealed plastic bag to each of them, and it had a medicated cloth inside. Louis and Legosi had seen Gouhin and his patrols use something like that several times before. They’d been taught about it in the past, but Gouhin wanted to make sure the lessons were fresh.

 

Louis still muttered a complaint to himself, “No tranq guns…”

 

Gouhin grumbled, “Yeah, cause they don’t work fast enough.”

 

Legosi vaguely recalled, [A tranquilizer can take … fifteen to twenty minutes to take effect? Right?]

 

Louis interpreted for the wolf as normal, and Gouhin agreed, “That’s right, yeah. Sometimes it’s even longer than that. An anesthesiologist with the right tools and chemicals can knock out a patient fast in an operating room - but a tranq gun is not such a tool. Too small a dose, and a person’s adrenaline can counteract a sedative. Too large a dose, and a sedative can stop their lungs, or heart.”

 

Legosi’s ears drooped. He sniffed once, and the medicine on the cloth was still strong enough for him to smell it along the sealed edge of the bag. He signed, [I’d prefer not killing if we can…]

 

Gouhin complained, “I wish I had something better, but I don’t. We’re limited by technology.”

 

A hope scratched at the back of Louis’ mind. He grumbled, “I know, I know. My people are working on it.” For now, Louis put the bagged cloth in his jacket pocket. “At least we have your sleeping gas…”

 

Gouhin grunted once. “The cloth is soaked with a special mixture my assistant developed at the clinic. The exact specifics have far too many syllables for most of the gangs, but yes, some jokingly call it ‘sleeping gas.’ It can knock out a carnivore fairly quickly - which also makes it extremely dangerous. Too long breathing that, and it can still kill someone.”

 

Legosi shook off an unpleasant feeling.

 

Gouhin explained, “Keep it in the bag until right before you’re about to fight someone. You’ll need less time for a smaller carnivore, more time for a bigger one. A few seconds after they’re out, you need to pull it away - but getting them to breathe it in is the hard part. Depending on how big and panicked they are, it could take a half minute, maybe even a full minute of exposure.” 

 

Legosi signed, [But since this isn’t a solid pill or fluid in a dart, we can better control how much of it gets in their system…]

 

Gouhin nodded. “You want to use it just long enough for them to pass out.” Then he handed each of them another object: an injection device. “This is a reversal. It will jumpstart their system to counteract the sedative. It’s for emergencies - and it can be dangerous in its own right. But if you pull away the cloth soon enough, you shouldn’t need it. They’ll wake up on their own in a half hour, maybe a little more.”

 

Louis understood, “Enough time for us to secure them and get them back to the clinic…”

 

Legosi’s nose still wrinkled uncomfortably. [Who is it that we need to bring in today?]

 

Gouhin handed them a piece of paper, with a few digital photos of a scrawny hyena. 

 

Legosi thought he didn’t look much bigger than Miguno. 

 

Gouhin took out his phone, double-checking an update from the other patrols. “Hino and Miguel have eyes on him now. He’s a striped hyena, currently eating at an outdoor restaurant in the back alleys. We’ve been keeping tabs on him for the last two weeks. He’s a fairly typical meat addict…”

 

Gouhin’s expression darkened as he said, “…but meat isn’t enough to satisfy him right now. We believe he’s already devoured once. He’s very sick. If we don’t bring him in soon, then he really will kill - or get killed by police. He needs our help now, before things get any worse.”

 

Legosi’s body language was still clearly unhappy. His ears were pointed further back. 

 

Louis was looking at the wolf in more concern. Legosi should never have been here - he was only here for Louis - and Louis felt guiltier about that now that they were about to do something like this. Louis started, “Legosi, if you don’t want to do this…”

 

Legosi signed fast, [No.]

 

Louis stopped and frowned more. He wanted to clarify, “‘No,’ you don’t want to do this, or ‘no,’ you don’t want me to ask?”

 

Legosi signed, [Don’t ask.]

 

Gouhin said outright, “If you want to back out, it’s fine. Actually, it’d be better than fine. Gosha would love it if you played safe and stuck to the basic patrol, or hell, go back to school. We have a ton of cats and komodo who can do the dangerous work, and they’re used to getting bit or bloody in a fight. Shit, even the lions like Louis now. He’d probably be fine with them.”

 

Louis tried to be a little more discrete, and signed instead, [I don’t want you to do this just for me. I need to do more for Yafya, but … I’m okay, if you’ve changed your mind. I’ll be okay by myself, with the gang.]

 

Legosi shook his head slowly. His face already looked resolved. [I know that. This isn’t about you, Louis. It’s …]

…… 

Gouhin, Legosi and Louis were jogging through the market. 

 

No sword today. 

 

The others kept eyes on the hyena, silent text messages to keep the team alerted to his position. 

 

The hyena was leaving the market. 

 

He tried to buy steak from that one restaurant, but he couldn’t stomach it. It tasted all wrong.

 

(He wasn’t well. Of course it didn’t taste right.)

 

The hyena’s head was hanging low now, body slouching through the dark. His eyes were open too far, and he was drooling even with his mouth closed. 

 

He sniffed, and smelled an herbivore. 

 

The hyena’s voice sounded unnatural, “ A little doe ?”

 

He sniffed again. “ And a little puppy dog ?”

 

Louis and Legosi were standing in the alley, twenty paces away. Legosi’s right hand was holding something behind his back.

 

Louis tried to sound friendly, “Hey.”

 

The hyena’s mouth watered more. It started dripping on the ground as the hyena stepped closer. “ Who are you ?”

 

Louis said, “We’re with the clinic - Gouhin’s clinic. We help carnivores that aren’t well.”

 

Legosi took a step toward the hyena. Legosi still kept his right hand behind his back. 

 

The hyena’s too-wide eyes were looking at them both, and having a bit of trouble focusing. 

 

The hyena replied, “ I’m not sick. I’m just hungry. That restaurant can’t even cook a good steak anymore .”

 

The hyena stepped closer. So did Legosi. 

 

Louis stated, “That isn’t about the restaurant. That’s about you. You need help, and we’re here to help you get it.”

 

The hyena’s body rumbled with a growl, starting deep in his empty stomach. “ I don’t need a doctor. I just need a bite !!”

 

The hyena sprinted towards Louis, fangs bared impossibly wide, hands open and fingers clawed. 

 

Something hard hit against the hyena’s stomach, and then shoved him backwards. 

 

The hyena hit the ground, more surprised than anything. 

 

Legosi was holding one of Gouhin’s special nets on a pole - sturdy and reinforced for combat like this.

 

No edge to cut, because Legosi didn’t want to cut. 

 

The hyena’s body ached in need of food. The wires in his mind weren’t working right. He glanced at Legosi, but it happened so fast, he wasn’t even sure if Legosi hit him.

 

Gosha’s lessons were so engrained by now, Legosi barely had to think about them.

 

The hyena scrambled back up, trying to run past Legosi near the alley wall. 

 

With impossible smoothness, Legosi twisted into the way again - got the pole across the hyena’s chest, and knocked him back again. 

 

The hyena stumbled back onto the ground again. He looked up at Legosi now, trying to focus on the wolf. 

 

Legosi was statue calm. He was breathing slowly. 

 

But Legosi’s eyes … even in the dark, they looked sad. 

 

The hyena’s desperate drool was getting all over his shirt, all over the ground. 

 

The growl in the hyena's chest was constant and angry now. He snarled the words, “ Fine! If I can’t have the doe, I’ll just - I’ll just have the doggy first! ”

 

Claws and fangs ready, he ran for the wolf. 

 

The pole had more reach.

 

Legosi stabbed the blunt tip forward, hit the hyena’s abdomen. Momentum carried the hyena into it, made it dig deeper.

 

The hyena recoiled and almost immediately threw up the bile in his empty stomach. 

 

A quick expulsion, gross, but over fast. 

 

It jarred something in the hyena, maybe turned on a few of those damaged circuits. A small deer was officially not worth this sort of trouble. 

 

The hyena scrambled back onto his feet, this time to try and run away. But Legosi was taller, faster. 

 

The hyena didn’t even clear one building before Legosi was racing at his side, swung the pole into the hyena’s stomach again.

 

Again he knocked the hyena down. 

 

The hyena was coughing again, the sick taste of bile still on his tongue. 

 

Legosi kept a few paces back. He gestured to Louis, had him interpret.

 

“You need the clinic. You’re sick. We don’t want to hurt you. But we can’t let you hurt anyone else. Please come with us.”

 

The hyena wasn’t willing. They kept fighting.

 

But Legosi thought it was strange, fighting him. 

 

It didn’t really feel like a battle. 

 

The drool and the fangs, a desperate carnivore, an alley like this - if only there was sunlight, it could parallel the memory from his childhood.

 

The hyena alternated between attempts to escape and attempts to kill. Legosi allowed neither.

 

A battle of attrition? Legosi had the stamina to outlast - the hungry hyena didn’t. 

 

The hyena kept trying to bite and claw at him. Legosi parried with the pole, deflected punches with the hoop and net. With practiced ease, he danced around the hyena’s attacks, an expert at using space and footwork.

 

Even when Gosha held back, he was a better fighter than this hyena. 

 

Sick and small, the hyena’s shirt came open at one point, and he looked underweight, too. Legosi could see his ribs. 

 

Legosi could see bruises, too, left behind by someone else. Bruising shouldn’t have been visible in the dark, but the hyena’s fur was too sparse and too thin - another sign of poor health.

 

Legosi waited for just the right moment, and kicked a garbage can at the hyena. The hyena tried to block it and knock the can away, but his response was slower, weaker. He staggered on his feet.

 

It was time. Most people didn’t have the stamina to fight very long, especially not someone sick and underweight. He’d been running on adrenaline.

 

Legosi moved in close again, and the hyena tried to throw a punch. Legosi blocked it with the pole and swung the net down, over the hyena’s head and shoulders.

 

The hoop pinned the hyena’s upper arms to his sides.

 

Just as fast, Legosi tripped him, and shoved him down to the ground. 

 

The hyena tried to struggle out, fight it off, but Legosi was faster. He grabbed the hyena’s wrists, and pinned them down against the hyena’s chest.

 

The hyena tried to bite through, but even the nets Gouhin used were especially durable for combat like this, for carnivores like this. 

 

Louis hurried to get the cloth over the hyena’s face in the net, to cover his nose and mouth. The hyena was trying to fight away, but he was tired out, and Legosi had him pinned too well.

 

As fast as the hyena was breathing, panting, it wouldn’t take long for medicine to overwhelm him.

 

Louis said over and over, “We’re getting you to the clinic. We promise. That’s what we’re here for. We’re getting you to a doctor.”

 

The hyena’s voice was some strange mixture of anger and failure, and there was a shaking in his throat as he protested, “ I don’t need a doctor! I don’t need a fucking doctor !!”

 

It didn’t sound that different from sobbing. 

 

Louis looked to Legosi. 

 

Legosi looked stoic and resolved, and sympathetic. 

 

Louis spoke the words Legosi couldn’t.

 

“Yes… You do.”

……

Gouhin clapped softly when the hyena was unconscious. The panda sounded weirdly like he was teasing, “I’m actually impressed. I expected a lot more blood. When I put Hino through this test, he had to break an arm.”

 

Legosi got a pair of handcuffs on the unconscious hyena’s wrists - behind his back, just to be safe.

 

Louis joked grimly, “Does breaking his spirit count?”

 

On second thought, Louis wasn’t sure if that qualified as a joke.

 

Gouhin scoffed it off as he started fitting the unconscious hyena with a muzzle. “Despite the way his body looks, his jaw strength could probably bite off someone’s hand - if not their whole arm. So, no, his spirit doesn’t count. He’ll be better when he actually gets treatment.”

 

Louis would have liked to feel so confident in that.

 

He felt strangely powerless watching Legosi handle the hyena. There were at least a dozen times Louis wanted to end the fight with a bullet. He had to trust Legosi. He had to trust Legosi’s judgement, his ability, all the months leading up to this moment… and all Louis had was a gun.

 

Horns needed to fix that soon.

 

Louis fulfilled his other part of the job, and called the clinic. “Hey. It’s Louis. I’m with Gouhin. We have a carnivore to pick-up, hyena, young adult… Yeah, that one. …No, we’re fine. We didn’t take injuries.”

 

Louis filled them in on their location. It wouldn’t take long for a vehicle to get there.

 

Louis looked to Legosi, and moved a little closer to the wolf.

 

Legosi looked more worried about Louis, glancing the red deer over. Legosi asked, [Are you okay?]

 

Louis awkwardly gave the wolf a quick kiss and a hug. Legosi hugged him back, but Legosi still looked confused.

 

Louis whispered, “I’m fine. Just fine. Just … I wanted to do that.”

 

Legosi had a very tiny smirk. [Did I turn you on again?]

 

Louis laughed his next breath out. “No. Not today.”

 

Gouhin cleared his throat, and was trying not to look at them. He held up a new text message on his phone, saying, “I hate to break up you two love birds, but, um, there’s a situation at the mansion.”

 

Louis and Legosi both frowned, and said, signed, “A situation?”

…… 

Leano did not know how to drive.

 

Leano did not know the way to the Shishigumi’s mansion.

 

Savon was stuck with that honor - or he was sure they’d be in some kind of comedic, high-speed car chase, recorded by police helicopter as they powered through flower beds, rose bushes, barely dodging traffic and utterly destroying cabbage carts - suspiciously-placed cabbage carts at that.

 

No, there was none of that, and society should be so grateful.

 

Savon tried to call ahead while driving, “Smog. Smoggy? Hey. You’re at the big cat mansion, right? …Yeah, I need you to do me a big favor, and alert the building. The boss’ daughter is on her way.”

 

There was some kind of question on the other side. 

 

Savon said louder, “Yes, you should tell the boss, too!!”

 

Leano was silent, and stretching her fingers, like she was preparing for battle. 

 

Savon had barely stopped the car in front of the mansion before Leano was jumping out, a mother on a mission.

 

Savon had to hurry to park and turn off the car, to race around the front and run to catch up.

 

She didn’t wait for him. She stomped ahead toward the door. 

 

With the shawl around her head, her pants and long-sleeves as usual - the pair of cats at the front didn’t know or recognize her.

 

One of the lions said, “Lady, you can’t come in here. This ain’t -”

 

There was a flash of movement, a smashed throat - a lion thrown down to the ground, choking.

 

Savon yelled out, “Gosha’s daughter! Gosha’s daughter!!” Barely in time, the other lion had been halfway to drawing a gun.

 

The gun vanished. No, it was in Leano’s hand now. She aimed at the second lion.

 

Eyes wide, the cat promptly put his hands up and got out of the way as Leano stalked into the mansion, gun barrel now pointed at the ground.

 

It had not occurred to Savon until then that Gosha’s legendary speed … did not skip a generation. 

 

Now Savon was almost power-walking, yelling out her identity - some got the message from Smog already - and the other lions and komodos were surprised, fearful (and vaguely in awe of her majestic murder walk).

 

Savon was more concerned that Leano had an honest-to-goodness gun in her hand.

 

Savon cleared his throat, “Um, Leano? Leano, uh, what are you going to do with that?”

 

Leano threatened, “I’m going to kill my father.”

 

Savon coughed. “Leano, uh, that’s not funny. You shouldn’t joke like that.”

……

The Shishigumi’s mansion had a very different vibe when Legosi and Louis showed up. 

 

Lions were giggling. A komodo was snickering. One cat was seated and had a bulky ice pack pressed against his throat. It went nicely with his dazed grin. 

 

Legosi thought to himself, ‘Gangsters are weird.’

 

Legosi was afraid he’d be walking into a crime scene when Ibuki opened the door to Gosha’s office. 

 

Gosha and Leano were both standing with their arms crossed. 

 

Louis stepped into the room behind Legosi, and Ibuki closed the door behind them for privacy. 

 

Legosi swallowed hard. His ears angled back, tail between his legs, and he waved slowly. [Hey… mom? Are you okay?]

 

Leano’s mouth was clenched very tight, her body stiff and rigid. She signed tight to her torso, [Am I okay? Am I okay?? No, I am not okay!!]

 

Gosha whispered and signed simultaneously, “You were supposed to tell her! I thought you told her!!”

 

Legosi signed large, [I forgot!! I’ve been very busy!!!]

 

She signed back, [How busy have you been, working for the mob???]

 

Legosi insisted, [I’m not working for the mob! I’m working for grandpa! And Gouhin!]

 

Leano returned sarcastically, [Is there a difference??]

 

Legosi signed, [Yes, there is! I’m not here to hurt people, I’m here to help people!]

 

Leano didn’t believe it; she shot back, [As part of the mob?? There are a million ways to help people, and they don’t include the gangs!!]

 

Louis chose then to interrupt, [It’s my fault, not Legosi’s! I got in trouble as a Beastar, and he’s the one helping me out!]

 

Legosi signed, [It’s not about that either! That’s how it started, but it’s not why I stayed!!]

 

Leano insisted, [You shouldn’t have started at all! You’re seventeen! You’re a seventeen-year-old kid! Do you know why my father only has one friend from his childhood?? It’s because all the others are dead!! I don’t want that to happen to you!]

 

That hurt everyone in the room - and Gosha most of all.

 

Gosha spoke softly, “I’m not letting that happen to him. I’m changing things expressly so they won't.”

 

Leano snapped sarcastically, “Oh! Oh really? You’re changing things? Then what was he just doing!? I can smell the fight on his clothes!”

 

Legosi signed larger, [I was helping people! I was getting someone help, the kind of person who needs it most!]

 

Leano signed faster, [You went to school for half a year, you developed PTSD, these lions nearly killed you twice, and I had to hear from Savon that you’re patrolling the back alleys with a sword!! You don’t have it on you right now, and I don’t know if that’s a good sign or a bad sign!]

 

It was mind-boggling. Leano, signed, [I am trying to wrap my head around how you or Gosha could have possibly thought this was a good idea! I tried to give you space! I didn’t want my father around when I was a kid, I understand if you don’t want me around, but you’re sick and I am still your mother! You can’t be here! You’re going to get hurt, and I won’t allow that!!]

 

Legosi was gritting his teeth so hard, trying not to dig his claws into his palms, and his chest was beating harder now than the entire fight with the hyena. 

 

In his mind’s eye, the image of the striped hyena was already blurring with Miguno. 

 

Gosha was looking at Legosi, too, weeks of guilt and concern playing across the old komodo’s face. Gosha never wanted him here either. He just couldn’t say no.

 

Legosi signed, [I’m needed here.]

 

His mother started to sign, but Legosi put up his hands. He signed, [Stop!]

 

Legosi shut his eyes on purpose, and slapped his hands together several times.

 

He signed again, [Listen! Listen to me! I am signing, and you need to see me! I’m needed! Here! In this place, in the back alleys, I’m not a dumb kid! I’m not broken! I am strong, and fast, and fierce! I have years of training from grandpa to keep me safe, I train all the time so I’ll be safe, but the people who walk these streets? They don’t! The lions don’t! Even the Dokugumi!]

 

[The government pretends that these streets don’t exist! And yes, there are bad people and fighting them is dangerous, but there are sick people, too! There are people who need help! Carnivores are suffering! Even the ones that eat meat! They’re not all bad people! The gangsters aren’t all bad! And the carnivores that have it worst, the ones who are most messed up, the police would just shoot them in the street!]

 

Legosi insisted, [That’s where I was tonight! Tonight, in this hour, I stopped a desperate carnivore! And I know he probably killed someone, and he wanted to kill Louis and I, but I changed that! I got him to a doctor! Me! By being strong and fast and myself! I stopped him without killing him, without breaking anything, without a sword or a gun or even my claws! I used a net! Louis had medicine!] 

 

[I can do things that almost no one else can! And if I don’t do them, then other people suffer more! I’m needed! Grandpa is organizing a revolution, right here, right now, to change people’s lives for the better! He’s making things better, and I am helping him!]

 

[I am not a broken wolf! I am not a sick child anymore! I am healing! I attend therapy! I do the work! I am treated with respect, I feel good helping people, and the people here want me! I’m not being stupid! I am damn good at what I do! I am good at protecting these streets!]

 

Legosi opened his eyes. He was breathing so hard.

 

Gosha and Leano and Louis, they all looked upset. 

 

How could they not be?

 

Legosi took a deeper breath, but his chest was still racing. He glanced downwards. He added, [I know I’m still a kid. I know I have my whole life ahead of me. And I’m looking forward to that! A year ago, I don’t know if I cared! A year ago, I was a problem to be cared for. I’m not like that anymore. I don’t feel that way anymore.]

 

Legosi actually looked happy as he signed, [There’s so much in the future that I want to see, so much I want to do… I think I actually want to go to college with Louis and Haru. And maybe … maybe I really could be Cherryton’s Beastar next year. Me. Dumb me? It’s crazy. Isn’t it? People look up to me - at school, and here with the gumis, too…]

 

[…and right now, grandpa is fighting to make this city a better place, and so am I. Right now, right here, my presence is making a difference in people’s lives. And I want to live, and I will fight to live, but I need to be able to live with myself first. I will not abandon grandpa, and I will not abandon Louis. You can’t ask me to do that, mom.]

 

For a moment, Leano wasn’t sure what to ask at all. 

 

Conflict and emotion were playing out across everyone’s face, not even sure where to start.

 

And then Leano slowly turned to her father - the ancient lizard, gangster turned father, builder turned mob boss. And she said, calmly and sincerely, “Tell me about this revolution of yours. …I need to know how you’re making things better - and I mean exactly what you’re doing.”

 

Gosha swallowed hard. “I can do that. Gouhin and I have it all written out.”

 

The family had a lot to talk about.

Notes:

Happy holidays and merry Christmas everybody. See you in the new year. :)

Chapter 50: Hello, mom. These are my gangsters.

Summary:

God, there's no way for this to not be awkward...

Notes:

I found the link I lost! I don't really use twitter or anything but Dralen helped me find it. https://twitter.com/_TaiArts/status/1385293209455284225

Tai Arts did the most amazing Leano. It's one of my most favorite pieces of fan art. :)

Side note: I still giggle a little inside because Paru said the Dokugumi have "chunibyo disease" lol.

Leano sat on a couch in Gosha’s office, sighing as she set aside a stack of Gosha’s carefully kept reports. 

 

Her reptilian demeanor was often flat - like now, tired from everything else - and she didn’t care to fake a more canid expression right now. “Okay. I understand it. I hate it , but I understand.” 

 

Gosha and Louis were sitting a few feet apart on the other couch opposite from hers.

 

Just off to the side, Legosi was standing in between the two couches, so everyone could see him sign.

 

Leano glared slightly at Louis, “I honestly don’t know whether I should thank you or blame you for Legosi’s recent … boldness.”

 

Louis feigned a modest shrug, but those eyes of his were still plenty proud. “I like to think that Legosi and I bring out the best in each other.” Louis gave a smirk Legosi’s way. “I always wanted to be a Beastar. I couldn’t have done that without him.”

 

Legosi’s modesty, however, was not faked. [You were doing fine without me…]

 

Louis signed small, [No. I wasn’t.]

 

The red deer was very serious.

 

Motherly discontent still had Leano complaining, “And you just had to find out Yafya is …”

 

Gosha mumbled, “Off the deep end?”

 

Her eyes rolled upwards, “ That’s an understatement.”

 

Louis admitted, “He was very… intense…”

 

Leano had to take deep breath, and shook her head. It was far too late to unknow things. She looked at Louis and Gosha, “Do you really think you can get through to him?”

 

There was more hesitation there.

 

Gosha’s gaze drifted lower, “I hope so… but Yafya never had many friends even when we were young. And then he cut himself off from me… At some point…” Gosha weakly shrugged his old shoulders, “I know he changed…”

 

Louis tried to sound more confident, “But if he changed once, maybe he can change again. I never assumed this would be an easy task. Being a Beastar never is. But I made a promise to do better for carnivores, and if that means standing up to herbivores in power, then that’s what it means. If I can remind Yafya that carnivores are suffering, too, then we might have a chance.”

 

Leano turned toward her son, “And you just wanted to keep Louis safe yourself, with your sword?”

 

Legosi signed, [Yes… at first. It’s a security blanket.]

 

Leano and Louis both thought the expression was amusing. They almost laughed.

 

Legosi signed at Louis, [What? I’m mature enough to admit that. I keep the sword as a security blanket. It just makes me feel better to have it with me when I’m in the back alleys. I’m good with my fists, but better with a sword. It’s lethal.]

 

Leano sighed again, “And I imagine that makes Gouhin ever so happy…”

 

Leano felt her forehead, and wondered if this disaster was going to get worse before it became better.  

 

Louis joked, “Oh, I don’t think Gouhin’s ever happy. He settles for content, maybe proud - something in that range.”

 

Gosha had a passing smile. More seriously, Gosha said, “Gouhin has made certain exceptions for Legosi, and Louis as well. He knows they’re important. Louis’ Beastar status and inheritance will put him at the center of major events for decades, and we’d rather he learn things from us. But I promise, we’ve been trying to keep them safe.”

 

Louis also spoke up in Legosi’s defense, “And just for the record, it’s not like Legosi is slashing people at random either. We may be taking advantage of the gumi’s combat prowess, but we’re not working with them to commit crime.”

 

Louis crossed his right leg over the other, and admitted, “A bit of vigilante work, sure… but our society has always relied on vigilantes. The cops never come into this part of town. Yafya became Sublime because he was so good at fighting the people cops wouldn’t… and Legosi is too modest to say this, but in all likelihood, Legosi is a shoo-in for Cherryton’s Beastar next year.”

 

Awkwardly, Legosi waved his hand for attention, [We don’t know that’s true! Cherryton went years without picking anyone. Also, that isn’t relevant. I’m not ‘slashing people’ period. It’s not about using it, it’s just about having it. The threat of it has been enough to end fights, usually. But I used a net today. I didn’t even bring the sword with me to catch the hyena.]

 

Leano raised her voice, “And I still don’t know if that’s better or not!” She pointed at her father, “And Yafya is not invited to Rexmas anymore!”

 

Not like the old horse had ever shown. For decades, it’d just been an empty plate at the table.

 

Leano was glad of that now. 

 

She glared at her father. She was especially bothered by Gosha’s hand in all these happenings. Legosi was a teenager, pushing his boundaries was expected, but Gosha was an old man. He should have known better. This was not the kind of insanity she expected from the two men in her life. 

 

Last year they were just talking about Legosi joining Cherryton. 

 

Now…?

 

Now Leano was finding it very hard to shut it all down.

 

Leano softened her tone, and it annoyed her to admit, “But Legosi is right… this isn’t about gangs or gangsters. This is revolution . You’re changing people's way of life - not just for carnivores, but for herbivores, too - and you’re starting from the bottom up.” She nudged the paperwork at her side, “And your plans are not … entirely … without merit.”

 

Gosha was too cautious to smile about that. “Gouhin and I have had the gumis, the clinic, and his network of medical professionals to establish the infrastructure so far. He’s secured a lot more funding. We’ve picked up a lot of momentum over the last few months.”

 

Leano nodded slowly, eyes still very suspicious. “It certainly sounds like your gumis have done a lot already. And if Horns can actually do what Louis suggests, that would change the field entirely. Legosi wouldn’t be needed.”

 

Okay, that part? Louis wanted to believe, but he had to be realistic. “My father has people working on it. There’s some precedent for that kind of technology, but they’re still trying to develop a lot from scratch. …For now, Gouhin’s methods are still our best means of bringing in struggling carnivores.”

 

Leano was clearly not pleased with that aspect. “Have them work faster .”

 

Louis just nodded. 

 

Yeah, she’d seen her family spar, and she used to do her own training - but there’s a big difference between training in self-defense and actively patrolling a hostile territory. 

 

…There’s no way around it… We need to change the territory…

 

She sighed again. 

 

She looked between her son and her father, and chose to sign her next words rather than risk them being overheard: [Struggling carnivores is one thing, but Legosi being around these lions still concerns me most. The Dokugumi may worship you, but Legosi had to kill several lions in self-defense, did he not?]

 

Legosi’s ears lowered, his tail went between his legs, and Gosha grimaced. 

 

Legosi didn’t want to think about that one terrible night, but he remembered… [A few…]

 

Softly Gosha promised, “The Shishigumi - all the gumis - follow express codes of conduct. It’s why I had to take over: as their boss, my family is protected, and so are Legosi’s partners. They all know violating that has consequences, the kind of consequences that are often worse than death.”

 

Louis took a calculated risk and joked again, [And it helps that several of the dead were bastards and psychopaths. They weren’t all well-liked, especially the old Chief himself.]

 

Ears angled back, Legosi signed small and fast, [Not helping.]

 

Gosha cleared his throat. 

 

Louis leaned back in his seat and apologized, “Sorry, but it’s true. Legosi and I talk to the lions all the time these days. They blame the old Chief, not Legosi. Despite the rough circumstances of their meeting, the Shishigumi are actually quite fond of Legosi now. The lions are impressed by power and conviction, and your family has that in bulk.”

 

Gosha grumbled softly to himself.

 

Leano said, “Alright. Prove it.”

 

Confusion crossed their faces. Louis said, “Huh?” Legosi signed, [What?]

 

Leano was starting to get a mischievous glimmer in her eye. It was an opportunity. “Introduce me to these lions. Let’s see this ‘fondness’ of theirs. …Actually, you two stay here - I’ll go with Legosi.”

 

Legosi swore in his head.

 

Gosha started praying immediately.

……

Ohh dear.

 

I’m going to die.

 

Ohhh no. I’m going to die.

 

My mom wants to meet the lions.

 

The crazy lions.

 

Ohh fuck fuck fuck fuck.

 

Maybe I’ll get lucky. Yeah. It could happen.

 

Hino’s very pretty. His looks win over a lot of people.

 

Dope’s very sociable. He’d know what to say…

 

They’re both working for Gouhin. Fuck.

 

Save meee.

 

He did not, exactly, want to be alone with his mother right now. It wasn’t that long ago that they’d been functionally yelling at each other. He wanted Louis with him.

 

Do all mothers have this emergency panic button? ‘Whoops, my child’s endangered, time for murder.’

 

Urgh…

 

He glanced back, and Louis tried to look reassuring, [You got this.]

 

Legosi opened the door with a heavy breath. 

 

Legosi stepped out looking weary, slouching a little. His mother was right behind him, eyes sharp and watchful.

 

Ibuki was waiting in the hall outside Gosha’s office. Apparently, he’d been waiting for them the whole time, standing guard.

 

Legosi saw another pair of lions down the hall, but as soon as their eyes met his, the two ducked out of sight fast.

 

Ibuki cleared his throat from where he stood, “Can I help you with something?”

 

Headache medicine , Legosi wanted to ask. The wolf shook his head, and signed fast, [No. I’m fine…]

 

Ibuki nodded, “Very well,” and stepped back like he was just returning to sentry.

 

Leano frowned at Legosi and pointed at the lion, “He knows sign?”

 

Ibuki had a tiny smirk, “Oh no, miss. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who can recognize a few words by now. Is there something you need?”

 

Leano was sizing up the lion with her eyes. “No, thank you. Legosi’s just … making a few introductions.”

 

Legosi could take a hint. He sighed again. [Mom, this is Ibuki. I made this name sign for him,] and he demonstrated it quickly. [Ibuki is super perceptive, and he cares a lot about people - maybe more than anybody here. He treats the gumi like family.]

 

Leano wanted to stop him, [Wait, you’ve given them name signs? Already?]

 

Name signs are personal. The Deaf don’t just hand them out casually. They have to know a person first.

 

Legosi clarified, [Not all of them, no. Maybe ten or twelve? But Louis and I have always had at least one of the gumi with us, so I’ve gotten to know a few of them. Ibuki takes care of us.]

 

Leano said, “Ah-huh…” like she didn’t know if she believed him. Leano started to look suspicious again, cause right now her own feelings centered on caring for Legosi. “So… Ibuki?” 

 

She pronounced his name two different ways, and Ibuki repeated the correct way, “Ibuki, yes.”

 

She gestured at Legosi, “He says you take care of him.”

 

So awkward , Legosi thought.

 

Ibuki was smart enough to realize this was a test of some sort. He answered seriously, “I do what I can. Though, he rarely needs my assistance.”

 

Leano was still examining the lion, and took a step to the side to view him differently. It was like a military inspection. 

 

It’s so awkward…

 

All things considered, Ibuki was not the worst lion they could start with… Legosi could be mildly hopeful in that regard.

 

Leano had to ask, “How old are you? You don’t look like you belong in a gang.”

 

Ibuki gave a small laugh, “35, miss. Is the mane not sufficient cause?”

 

Leano said outright, “No. You just look too old to be here. Most of them die before your age. Did you only join recently?”

 

Legosi made a choking grimacing expression, trying to sign [Sorry!] without attracting too much attention.

 

Ibuki’s eyes met with Legosi’s, gave a slight nod as if to say he understood. Ibuki answered, “No. I was 18 when I joined. But I am a very good survivor. …It is perhaps my only real skill.”

 

Leano frowned more. “You joined the gang right after finishing high school?”

 

Ibuki actually laughed. “No, miss. I couldn’t even finish middle school. I was homeless before joining the gang.”

 

Her frown remained, but like a deflating balloon, Leano’s mood shifted dramatically. “…What happened?”

 

Legosi quickly tapped his mom on the shoulder, [Mom, no! Don’t ask that!]

 

It was not lost on her that Legosi was actually trying to defend this lion.

 

But before she could recant, Ibuki held up a hand, said gently, “No need,” trying to reassure the wolf. 

 

The lion forced a smile and let his hand fall back down. He explained calmly, “My parents sold me to drug dealers in the black market, when I was twelve. I escaped… but if I was returned to my family it would have likely meant my death, so I had to avoid the authorities. As you can imagine, that makes finishing school … problematic.”

 

It took her a moment to process that.

 

Reptile or not… Leano looked hurt now. “I’m sorry.”

 

Those words felt so small and unworthy.

 

Legosi was also slouching more.

 

Honestly, she’d heard of worse from the market, she just didn’t expect a male lion to be one of its victims.

 

Ibuki’s forced smile etched closer to a grimace, something sober. “It is not a thing I talk about, and I was unaware Legosi knew. Your son has a high opinion of me, and I find that flattering. But I am still just a murderer and a gangster. Considering your arrival and his, I would understand your reluctance to trust him with any of us.”

 

Leano noticed a few more lions poking their heads around a corner of the hall - then ducking back when she saw them. Leano replied softer, “Legosi said you were perceptive. But what’s your response to all this? To Louis and Legosi in the gumi, patrolling the back alleys? All these changes?”

 

The lion looked aside for a moment. 

 

Ibuki managed a small genuine smile then, “I think, if I had half their courage and skill, I would have killed the old Chief myself. …Instead, I am content, and grateful. Your family is making all our lives better, and I would rather die than lose them.”

 

Leano’s eyes continued appraising the lion, but her weight shifted slightly from one foot to the other.

 

Legosi started signing to his mom, and Leano interpreted for him, “He says he recognized your tattoos from when you got hurt on patrol with them - when you two were … saving a jaguar… The reptile at the hyperdrug business? Legosi says they had the same tattoos as you.”

 

Ibuki held his left arm, and had to think back to the drugged jaguar that cut him up. “Yes. I had forgotten that.” He let his arm drop.

 

Another lion peeked out of a door down the hall.

 

Ibuki adjusted his glasses like he was putting a false face back on, “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do for you? You may not want to go downstairs right now. Our younger members are very chatty tonight. Your family knows how to make an entrance.”

 

Leano said seriously, “Actually… I think that sounds like a good idea. I should meet the chatty people.”

 

Legosi felt some subtle shift.

……

It became a veritable conga line of introductions. 

 

The lions were so eager, all abuzz with gossip. Did she really walk in breaking throats? Grabbing guns? Laying out lions and drop-kicking komodo? Did she really take out a machine gun and set Free on fire?

 

(The exaggerated stories were all growing fast, and no one was calling bullshit after what Gosha and Legosi did.)

 

Leano and Legosi walked down through the tower, no real aim other than saying hi.

 

Legosi didn’t know all the names, but many knew his, and were calling out to him in passing - friendly comments, thankfully. “Legosi!!~” “Boss man! Heard you passed your test!” “Congrats on the takedown!” “Wolf Demon in the house!!” “Aww, no sword today? It completes your look!” “Hey, where’s Louis? You okay? Got your phone, right?”

 

Legosi waved and signed his thanks, trying not to show how self-conscious he was with his mother literally right behind - because oh my god, his mother was literally right behind.

 

Legosi signed, [This is Jinma. He’s one of the upper members like Ibuki. He knows a lot about the market, geographically and financially.]

 

Leano said, “A pleasure,” and shook the lion’s hand.

 

Legosi pointed to the komodo next to him, [And this is Ozone. I don’t know his real name, but he’s working with Jinma to sell meat by the internet. Somehow.]

 

Leano knew the name but not the masked face, “Ozone, right? Savon mentioned the work you two are doing. The legality is rather complicated, yes?”

 

Jinma was even then working on logistics with his smartphone, “Yes and no. We can skirt the laws, I know a few loopholes regarding plausible deniability…”

 

Ozone grumbled, “But the real trouble is how to deliver it without the police jumping on whoever is buying - or delivering - it.”

 

Jinma also complained, “The entire system hinges on how much the buyers trust it. But carnivore cops need meat, too. What if they want to use the system?”

 

Leano wondered, “Maybe you need to work a deal with the cops first?”

 

Both groaned. Ozone joked, “Now, that’s way above my pay grade. I just handle computers!”

 

Another introduction, they found Agata next. 

 

Legosi signed, [Agata’s pretty young. I think he’s 25, but he’s like me: he’s actually really strong despite his age.]

 

Agata was frowning, and signed back, [Hey, where’s Louis? Is he okay?]

 

Legosi replied, [He's upstairs. He’s fine. I’m just showing my mom around.]

 

Leano was surprised again and wanted to clarify, [Legosi says you’re like him. Are you deaf? Hard of hearing?]

 

Agata smirked, “Oh no, ma’am. But I’m on patrol with Legosi a lot, so I’ve been picking up some stuff from him and Louis.” Agata turned back to Legosi and signed, [Do you need help? I’m not great, but…]

 

Legosi and Leano both had a little smirk, and with or without fur, it looked genetically the same. Legosi signed, [I think I’ll be okay. Mom can help.]

 

Leano said more to her son, “It seems a number of people are picking up sign.”

 

Agata scratched at his mane, “Well, some of us. Legosi’s great, and we can’t really hang out with him without picking up something. Dope’s the best though. He learns freaky fast.”

 

Leano blinked at that, and found herself speaking and signing at the same time, “Dope is … a name?”

 

Legosi choked, and Agata burst out laughing. The lion said, “Oh! Oh, I’m sorry. Yeah, Dope is a name, not a drug. He’s a little older than me, but he’s wicked smart.”

 

Legosi added, [He works with Gouhin a lot these days. I think they’re trying to get Dope to go back to school. I wouldn’t say he’s fluent yet, but he’s already pretty advanced.]

 

Leano asked next, [Do you know the lion with the mask and spiky hair? He looks even older than Ibuki.]

 

Legosi winced, [That’s Sabu… He’s the oldest lion here, but he’s pretty grouchy, so… huh?]

 

Legosi had to stop a moment then, because the Sabu chatting with the other lions had a very big smile behind his mask - you could see it in his eyes - and Sabu was even laughing about something with his comrades. 

 

Legosi tapped Agata on the arm, had to ask, [Why is Sabu so happy?]

 

Agata grinned and tried to hide his mouth like he was being sneaky, whispering, “Gouhin has his ways.”

 

Legosi ended up making introductions anyway.

 

Sabu explained with a little smirk, “So it turns out that spending most of my life in near-death experiences messes up your brain! I got PTSD at some point, and it was making me angry all the time. Gouhin recognized the symptoms and I wouldn’t have cared, but Gosha made me work with him. So now I’m actually getting treatment - which I hated at first, but I gotta say, it’s nice actually enjoying life again.”

 

Legosi swallowed hard. [Yeah… I know that feeling,] and Leano helped interpret. 

 

Legosi mentioned Miguel and Hino, but those two were often on patrol for Gouhin. [Miguel is the strongest lion, he’s got really cool braids, and Hino is … pretty. He’s nice, too. I hear people used to come to him a lot with work for the Shishigumi. They make a good team, helping carnivores.]

 

Agata joked to Leano, “I think people just wanted an excuse to talk to Hino. If you saw him, you’d understand.”

 

Legosi pointed out a few more members of the gumis - Wallace, Terrence, Ryan. He didn’t have name signs for them. Legosi knew Percy and Eckhardt were probably still helping out at the clinic this time of night, but Smog was supposed to be around somewhere.

 

I hope he and Savon are wrangling the others upstairs…

 

This is so weird.

 

It’s my mom.

 

My mom is meeting them.

 

My mommmm.

 

Aagh…

 

Legosi was still glancing into open rooms as they walked the lower halls. [I feel like I’m forgetting people…]

 

Agata mentioned without thinking, “Walker was around here earlier, but he’s technically avoiding you.”

 

Legosi frowned - but before he could ask, Leano asked faster, “Why would he be doing that?”

 

Legosi froze. 

 

Oh no.

 

Agata suddenly had the expression of someone who knew … he put his foot in his mouth. “…I should probably not be the person to explain that.”

 

Legosi looked at the ceiling.

 

Fuck. Of course. This was going too easy. I knew it.

 

In lieu of a growl, Legosi did glare a little.

 

Agata signed quickly, [Sorry!] and tried to look apologetic.

 

They found Walker in the kitchen, his head halfway into the fridge. His black dress jacket was left on a chair to one side. 

 

The lion nearly jumped when he saw the three right behind him. 

 

Walker was a young lion, probably younger than Agata, with an even shorter mane. Walker stammered, “H-hey, boss! Uh, ma’am? Boss ma’am?” He bowed quickly to both, “Can I help you with something?”

 

Agata awkwardly admitted, “Yeahhh, so I kinda let slip you'd been keeping your distance…”

 

Walker had a momentary look of panic, eyes clearly saying ‘ how could you?? ’

 

Agata surrendered palms up in front of him, “It just slipped out! I’m sorry!”

 

Leano crossed her arms and spoke with authority, “You’ll forgive us, but I want to know what that’s about.”

 

Walker still looked very self-conscious, but he was trying to muster up some gangster pride. He stood taller, shoulders back, “I don’t have any hard feelings, if that’s what you’re thinking. He’s the boss. Er, the boss’ family. He’s protected. Our initial meeting was just … rough. I, I get it though. We made a lot of mistakes. But I’m good now, I swear. No problems. No lingering issues. All better. See?”

 

In his white dress shirt, Walker actually raised one arm to flex. 

 

Leano’s reptilian face stayed blank. 

 

Agata chuckled to himself. 

 

Now it was Walker’s turn to glare at Agata. Walker dropped his arm and muttered to himself, “And I’m being a fool. Great. Thanks.”

 

Leano said frankly, “I have no idea what you’re talking about. A bit of clarity, please.”

 

Legosi, however, was already getting the picture. He was pretty sure he recognized Walker now. 

 

Walker rumbled a small noise of feline displeasure to himself. He tried to roll up his sleeve, but his shirt couldn’t go as far up as he wanted. Then all at once, the lion tugged his shirt off entirely.

 

He had a few scars, but the biggest was a massive scar completely circling the upper half of his right arm. 

 

Walker pointed to it and explained, “Back when the old boss tried to eat Legosi, Legosi cut my arm off in his escape. But the hospitals are so good at reattachment these days, I got it back fine. Been a lot of therapy though. Healing time. That sort of thing.” 

 

Legosi signed, [I imagine…]

 

Walker started putting his shirt back on, “Gosha actually covered the medical bills. I just sorta … wanted to wait for a good moment, you know? You can be crazy scary, but I know it had to be a bad night for you, too.”

 

Legosi was glancing aside, a little more emotion on his face. [It was a bad day for everybody.]

 

Leano was holding back a grimace, but those eyes of hers were still glancing them both over. 

 

Boys. 

 

They were both just boys, teenagers. 

 

They could wear what they wanted, in the nicest suits, but Leano was a mother and they were still just kids to her - kids stuck in the systems that someone else made. 

 

Then Walker added, “Also, I’ve been trying to work on this, too.” 

 

The lion's arms moved slowly as he signed, [Thank you, for not killing me. You, Gosha - much better boss. We like you.]

 

He fingerspelled ‘Gosha’ very slowly. 

 

It still got Legosi’s tail swaying side to side. Legosi glanced over at his mom.

 

Leano was thinking. 

 

Walker winced at his presumed lack of skill, “Um, sorry. Did I do that right? I’m probably terrible at that. I just, wanted to say -”

 

Legosi had a little smile, [It's okay. It means something that you tried.]

 

Walker was still wincing. “…Yeah, sorry, but I don’t know much more sign than that. Dope was helping me, but he’s been real busy lately.”

 

Leano gave a small noise then, a suppressed laugh. 

 

Legosi smiled for real, [That’s okay, too.]

 

Leano helped out with interpreting. 

 

Walker gave the lion’s equivalent of a purr. “I’ve, uh, been thinking about one of those cover-up tattoos, you know? Maybe something wolf-like, like a claw mark or something. I haven’t decided yet. I’m not usually a tattoo person.”

 

Free burst into the kitchen, already ripping open his shirt, “Who said tattoos? Are we showing off??”

 

Legosi immediately looked to the heavens for mercy. [This is Free. The craziest lion.]

 

Dolph came around the corner fast, and grabbed Free in a sudden chokehold, arm around Free’s neck. Free wheezed as Dolph said, “Forgive me. He escaped.”

 

Legosi wanted to groan, [And this is Dolph… the most serious lion…]

……

Legosi slumped down on the couch in Gosha’s office, next to Louis. All things considered, that felt more harrowing than his fight with the hyena.

 

Louis patted him on the leg, and leaned closer to the wolf. 

 

Leano sat down with her arms crossed, still looking grumpy. “Your lions all have serious issues, but they are not … completely … hopeless.”

 

Gosha mumbled, “I’m working on it. A lot of these boys weren’t raised right, if at all.”

 

Leano said, “Like this Ibuki… He said his parents sold him.”

 

Gosha definitely looked sad about that. He nodded once. “I wish his story was unique, but it's not. A lot of gangsters join up young because things are so bad at home - if they even had a choice. Most of them grew up within a few kilometers.”

 

Louis remembered, “Agata’s mom was like that: he said she was abusive, mean and nasty all the time. Ibuki cared about him when Agata’s own parents didn’t. That meant something to Agata.”

 

Leano insisted more gently, “I still don’t like it - and I get that you’re trying to balance things with what Yafya wants and expects, but the two of you are still teenagers. You’re supposed to have teenage lives. If you’re insistent on helping to make things better, I won’t stop you…”

 

“…The world needs people who can fight to make it better…”

 

“…but I do think you need to change your hours. You can’t be running here every single evening after school. That’s too much. Work a few hours saturday and sunday, maybe one night mid-week. Can we compromise on that?”

 

Legosi looked to Louis. So much of this came back to Louis and how much room they really had with Yafya’s (distant) oversight.

 

Louis was speaking mostly to Legosi, “Well, we’ve done a lot of the initial work for Yafya already, and with all the work we’ve put in, the gumis respect us, too. Changing our hours now won’t set us back.”

 

Legosi nodded to his mom, [Okay.]

 

Leano realized someone was absent from these conversations though. “Is Haru at least safe from this nonsense?”

 

Louis said, “Yes,” and Legosi shook his head, [no.] 

 

Louis nudged Legosi, “She’s working at the clinic! She’s with Gouhin! There are plenty of guards there. She’s fine.”

 

Gosha frowned, then looked at Leano. “Wait, how do you know about Haru?”

 

Leano said, “Legosi told me. He was having a very bad night, and he was overwhelmed.”

 

Legosi forced a smile for his grandpa, [Sorry?]

 

Gosha grunted once, slightly offended. “I had to learn from Louis in front of the gang…”

 

Legosi signed smaller, [I was going to tell you eventually. It’s been a very busy year, okay? I’ve had a lot going on.]

 

“Clearly,” Leano said. Then she took a deeper breath to steady herself. “If we’re doing this, we’re doing this. Father, use your contacts. Set up a meeting with the Inarigumi.”

 

Gosha blinked. “Excuse me?”

 

Leano leaned back in her seat and gestured, “The Inarigumi. Savon said you were trying to recruit them. Considering the state of the mansion and your reports, I assume that has yet to change.”

 

Gosha mumbled awkwardly, “We have, technically, not had success with them yet.”

 

Leano tilted her head to one side, “Of course not. Respectfully, father? The Shishigumi reek of fur gel and alcohol, and the Dokugumi dress like they’re going to a comic con. It’s no wonder the Inarigumi are reluctant to join.”

 

Gosha felt weirdly defensive, “I’ve been working with them. They’re making progress. I only just got them to quit smoking. I told you, a lot of them weren’t raised well.”

 

Leano waved it off, “I remember. Also, Free and Ozone are still smoking.” She tapped her canine nose, so much more acute than her father’s.

 

Gosha grunted once. 

 

Then Leano added, “Regardless… if we’re trying to revolutionize these streets, you can’t do it without a strong majority of the gangs, and you can’t do it without the Inarigumi. But since I’m here now, I can act as a go-between.”

 

Gosha leaned in suspiciously. “Exactly what do you mean, ‘since you’re here now’?”

 

Leano looked at him like it should have been obvious.

……

Haru burst out laughing when she got the group text messages that night. {Your mom??}

 

Legosi texted back, {I know!!}

 

Haru wrote again, {Your mother???}

 

Legosi insisted, {It’s so wrong!!}

 

Haru laughed more. She was just sure Legosi would be flopping around on his bed, embracing his proper status as a drama club nerd. 

 

Louis added to the group text, {I don’t know. All things considered, I think you handled it rather well. I barely needed to help.}

 

Legosi angrily texted back, {Telling my MOM I sworded psychopaths WAS NOT HELPING!}

 

Louis deflected, {Also, have I told you lately how hot you are when you stand up for yourself?}

 

Haru fell out of her bed laughing.

Notes:

So I mentioned a while ago that my parents are older and struggling. Their situation has still been tense, and I haven't really had the brain space to work on this fic as much as I'd like.

We are roughly halfway through the "second season" that I had planned, and I usually prefer to write and edit several chapters out before posting things. So depending on how the next few weeks go for me, I might be taking a little mid-season hiatus on Signs. I just wanted to give you guys a heads-up. I don't really have a presence on the internet to say this anywhere else, sorry.

Chapter 51: The Daughter of a Dragon is...

Summary:

-Long chapter is basically a double chapter because it's been so long. Have fun lol.-

Louis, please do not taunt the politically all-powerful horse with a license to kill.

At least Legosi and Haru can have nice chats around the garden club. Science! I heard you guys liked that part.

Leano is spitting fire. Metaphorically.

Notes:

Okay, so the temporary hiatus turned out way way way longer than I intended. Sorry. I put up a note about it awhile ago. I was writing three fics at once and then a whole lot of bad things happened to my family. I could no longer keep up that pace.

I originally planned to take just a few months, then a shelf fell at work and crushed my hand. Bones broke. Ow. Thankfully it was my non-dominant hand, but as you can imagine, the pain alone prevented me from even thinking for a while, people died, and I was still basically typing with one hand for most of the last year.

Editing a thing to post was way easier than writing new material and I had other things saved up. I also ended up revising a lot of the upcoming Signs stuff because I've worked with people like canon Melon in my real life. It was unpleasant. But I've got a good handle on how to fix that now, and I hope to post Signs every so often again.

Cross your fingers, and thank you for your support. Comments keep me writing.

 

An angry Yafya was yelling over the phone, “What do you mean he destroyed the hyperdrug business?! Do you have any idea how many millions go through that place??”

 

Louis was at his desk in his dorm room - and quite happy to be far away from Yafya. Some of his school papers were still left out on the desk in front of him, but he couldn’t think about them now. Managing Yafya was like trying to keep a bomb from going off. 

 

Ever the actor, Louis kept his tone flat and under control. “Destroyed,” he repeated himself. “Destroyed, as in he took some of the gumis, stopped what was likely going to be the violent maiming of a destitute reptile, and explicitly told the doctors to find a new source of income - one that doesn’t hurt living people.”

 

Yafya scoffed, “Living carnivores.”

 

Louis repeated, “Yes. Living people.”

 

Louis probably shouldn’t have said that, but it was getting harder to put up with the horse’s prejudice. Louis had to remind himself it wasn’t that long ago that the deer was almost as bad as Yafya.

 

‘Summary execution,’ however, was all on Yafya, not Louis.

 

Yafya practically sneered over the phone, “Don’t you get smart with me. If you ever want your market records to disappear, you have a job to perform.”

 

Louis said coldly, “And I’m doing it. Now would you like to know why Gosha blew the place up, or would you like to go over the building’s rubble and determine that for yourself?”

 

Yafya had an edge to his voice now, “I want you to do your job . And you are very lucky that I like your guts, or you’d already be fired.”

 

That sounded close enough to ‘yes,’ and Louis chose not to dig. Louis needed to be a precision scalpel, not a blunt cleaver.

 

Louis leaned back in his desk chair and brought up a text file on his smart phone. “Like always, there’s an official story and there’s an unofficial story. Officially, Gosha is spinning it to his gumis as a power play, to convince the public that his gumis are looking out for their wellbeing - that he’s going to protect them, and I quote,” Louis gave his best approximation of the old komodo’s voice, “‘We’re making it clear that we’re going to take care of carnivores, whether Yafya does or not. We’re making it clear that people can trust our men to act as their protectors in the back alleys - because the police sure won’t.’” 

 

Louis dropped the fake accent and explained, “He says it’ll be easier to charge protection money when people want him protecting them.”

 

Yafya’s angry voice sounded even closer to the phone’s receiver, “And the unofficial story?”

 

This was the big moment - to angle the metaphorical blade in just the right way…

 

Louis tried to take a breath, one quiet and deep, to fortify himself. 

 

Louis spoke carefully, slow and measured, “Gosha doesn’t care about money, and he never has. He just wanted to do something good… He said the two of you used to talk about destroying it together when you were younger. He said the two of you didn’t have the power to keep it dead back then… He sold the gumis a good story, but really, it was just about the people. He wanted to stop poor people from being abused by the rich.”

 

Yafya didn’t respond.

 

Louis let the slightest curiosity slip out, “Was he lying about that? Did you want it gone, too?”

 

Yafya’s voice was colder then. Quieter. “That was a very long time ago.”

 

More than 35 years. A lifetime away from Gosha. Yafya had a lot of time to change from the horse he once knew.

 

Louis didn’t want to press him too hard. This was already rocky ground. 

 

Louis gave him several more seconds, and when nothing was forthcoming, Louis changed the topic. “There’s a new drug on the street, called Bloodbone.”

 

“I’ve heard of it,” Yafya willingly took the distraction.

 

Louis explained, “I think Gosha’s scared of it - he and Gouhin both. They’re trying to track down the manufacturer - and whoever is putting it out on the street - and they thought the hyperdrug business could be involved. That doesn’t seem to be the case. Before the explosion, Gosha’s gumis investigated the building and have gone through their records with a fine-tooth comb.”

 

Yafya’s tone had shifted to something else, something calmer. “Gosha doesn’t scare easily.”

 

Louis rubbed at the space in front of his antlers, “Yeah, well… something about this drug has potent psychological effects.”

 

Yafya asked, “What kind?”

 

Louis sighed and could already feel himself getting sleepier in his chair. He really could use more time to relax. “Unclear. It compromises their mental functions, makes them almost psychotic for a while. The patrols have had to wrestle a few victims to the ground, including Legosi and I. Most of the victims we’ve found have just been kids - teenagers or young adults who thought they were trying a free energy drink…” 

 

“…Gouhin’s been treating them at his clinic. They seem to be okay after they get through a withdrawal period, but it really messes with their heads. They can’t remember much of the experience. Then Ibuki discovered some of it in the city the other day, at some kind of Night Mask party.”

 

Yafya repeated, “Night Mask??” That got Yafya’s attention in a big way. “That’s elite clientele. What’s a back alley drug doing there?”

 

Louis looked out at the night sky through his window and wished he had eyes like Legosi. “I’m not sure Bloodbone is a back alley drug…”

 

Louis had to shake his head. “But Gosha’s gumis only patrol this territory, so if someone is tricking carnivores into drinking this stuff… your cops cover a lot more of the city than we do. If this stuff is getting around - if carnivores are getting doped psychotic and making them devour - a lot of herbivores might ‘shoot first, ask questions never.’”

 

There was a noise across the phone like Yafya had actually growled. Maybe it was just a grumble. “I will take that under advisement.”

 

Louis gently corrected, “Technically speaking, it's an offer of collaboration… Gosha and Gouhin are willing to share their findings, including blood tests and samples of the Bloodbone drug that Ibuki got from the party. You can take it to your own men and run with it.”

 

Yafya hung up the phone.

……

So there I was, a 17 year-old homeschooled wolf with no voice, latent trauma, a grand total of one real friend, trying to be a normal teenage kid for once in my life…

 

And then before I knew it, I was tripping over rabbits, fighting felines, getting kidnapped not once but TWICE in the same semester, and I found out I just have oodles of mental health issues. Thank you, Gouhin! 

 

Gouhin, if you’re reading my mind, I want it to be clear that was sarcasm. I’m still salty about the kidnapping and the muzzle.

 

Somehow, despite all that, the school wants me to be a Beastar! Because apparently grandpa did too good a job of training me, and PTSD gave me a frighteningly short fuse. Bullies, beware. I’m sorry, Bill.

 

I changed to the garden club, got therapy, got a girlfriend and a boyfriend, we saved each other’s lives a few times, and my grandfather became a godfather.

 

OKAY. 

 

Okay, I can deal with that. 

 

Things can still be normal! Sure, I’m one-fourth komodo dragon, but will that really have a big impact on my life in the long run?

 

Nooo… of course it won’t…

 

And after the whole fiasco where the lions thought I was white, Louis rallied as many forces as he could to rescue me. Sure, no one really wants to mention that out loud, but practically the whole school heard the rumors overnight. Louis ended up this year’s Beastar cause he was willing to lead an army into hell to save a carnivore like me. 

 

The school saw that he could do more than stand UP to carnivores: he could stand up FOR them as well.

 

That works for me! I never wanted the fame or the status. I definitely did not want to be called ‘the Wolf Demon, the Guardian Demon of Cherryton.’ And I still remember screaming in my head when Gon showed up with receipts.

 

I still might get nominated next year, but I don’t care to chase it. No, I want things simple and plain. I just wanted to attend school with my friends and loved ones.

 

JUST when I thought things were done being crazy… a certain horse got involved. There may have been murder and blackmail.

 

Louis got involved with the mob. I got involved because of course I’m going to get involved! I am a big, stupid idiot and apparently responsible for keeping my tiny twink boyfriend alive.

 

And the worst part!!

 

The worst part is… I’m… actually really good at this stupid back alley defender gig. And the gangsters keep praising me and wanting to be my friend. They don’t even care about the voice thing.

 

Urgh… You know, when most people talk about occupational pride, the occupation isn’t ‘pacifying sick carnivores alongside the lion mob.’

 

And then my mom got involved.

 

Oh dearest holy dinosaurs, my mom.

 

It’s my mother … urgh… 

 

It’s so wrong… I can’t even think about it with a straight face.

 

And she made us pull back our hours so Louis and I aren’t patrolling the back alleys as much, and she wants us to be doing normal teenage things more…

 

And that should be exactly what I want to do! I should! I should be pleased to be a normal student - at least most days of the week…

 

So why… why does it feel so… strange?

 

Even in the light of day, Cherryton’s garden rooftop didn’t feel quite right. 

 

Legosi’s claws were dirty from digging and kneading the earth. Legosi looked up from the flower box he was working in, and glanced around the rest of the garden. 

 

Since Haru had been interning at Gouhin’s clinic, the garden wasn’t as extravagant as it had been in the past. Legosi and Haru had consciously pulled back from their more time-consuming projects, but that was before Leano laid down the law.

 

Legosi wondered if they should restart some of those… or if he even dared to give Tao and Aoba more lessons on self-defense…

 

Rex, would it be totally messed up if I actually like that idea? Maybe I should see what they’re up to… or any of the guys really. I might have time to hang out again… That’d be nice…

 

If nothing else, at least garden club gave him more time to be with Haru. Legosi always liked that. Watching her, being with her, listening to her… There was still something tranquil and relaxing about caring for all their plants together. 

 

Their private little sanctum… It was practically meditation.

 

And Legosi had to admit, he did still need his meditation. 

 

Haru stopped watering one of the other garden beds. “Hey, Legosi! Cool bug over here!”

 

Legosi just about jumped his way to her side, wondering if it was one he saw earlier or something new. But even in that short moment, Haru’s face turned, “Whoa! Whoa. Erg. Gross…”

 

[What?] Legosi signed even as he crouched low again.

 

Haru pointed to a praying mantis between plants, who was even then feasting on another (now dead) insect.

 

Legosi gave a few puffs of air - the best he could do for a laugh. [Yeah, some insects eat other insects…]

 

Haru sighed and set down her watering can. “Yeah, yeah I know… Trust me, I’m learning all about that, too…”

 

Legosi kept glancing at the praying mantis, not wanting to look away for too long. He stayed crouched down on his knees. [Huh?]

 

“Insectivores,” Haru said as she pointed at the bug, then at herself and Legosi. “Herbivores. Carnivores. Omnivores! Thanks to Gouhin’s books, I’m learning about a whole lot of vore.”

 

Legosi brushed some of the dirt off his hands before signing more. [I thought you were reading about meat consumption. What’s an omnivore?]

 

Legosi had to fingerspell that last word, because he didn’t even know the sign for ‘omnivore.’ ‘Omni’ is ‘all,’ right? Maybe it was something like ‘all eater.’

 

Haru gave an even bigger sigh, tall ears wilting like flowers. “And that’s an even bigger conversation - because technically speaking, there are a lot of species among the herbivores and carnivores who would count as an omnivore… sort of… It’s complicated…”

 

Legosi frowned more. He knew the books she was reading for Gouhin were advanced, but not how much. You shouldn’t have to be pre-med to learn about meat. Yet Gouhin said they were banned for saying too much. [Complicated how?]

 

“Like, linguistically,” Haru had to reorient herself. Haru took her smart phone out of her pocket, just in case she needed visual aids or additional references. She had photographed some of the pages for her own notes. “So like, one of the biggest problems with our language is that our society does not use ‘herbivore’ and ‘carnivore’ in a scientific way. Those two words entered our language around the time of the world war…” 

 

“…with one side being called the herbivores and the other side being called the carnivores. Plant eaters versus meat eaters! …supposedly…” 

 

“When that happened, they pretty much sliced society into those two groups!” Haru made a big chopping motion at the air. Then she shrugged, “But really, it’s an atrocious binary. Every species has specific things that they can and cannot digest. Nuts, berries, fruits, veggies… Even two herbivore species can tolerate different things. Case in point! Hippos.”

 

Legosi tilted his head in that classically doggish way. [Hippos? …What’s wrong with hippos?]

 

Haru pointed at his hand, “I’m going to assume that was the sign for hippo, but I don’t want to be rude.”

 

Legosi gave a breathy laugh. He signed, [Yes. That was ‘hippo.’] Legosi glanced at the mantis, but by that point he was more intrigued by Haru. He always liked listening to Haru talk. [So what about hippos? Is there a problem digesting hippo meat? Or is the problem in hippo digestion?]

 

Haru brought up an image of the hippopotamus mouth structure on her smart phone to show him. “So, I’m pretty sure hippos sided with the rest of the carnivores during the war - so according to popular convention, hippos are considered carnivores… but scientifically, they’re really not … Their digestive systems are like other herbivores. They have more in common with Louis than with you.”

 

Legosi tried to somehow envision Louis as a hippo instead, and it nearly broke his brain. His head almost fell off his shoulders. [Yeah, I’ve seen Louis next to a hippo in drama club… They don’t look anything alike…]

 

Haru snorted at that. She waved it off, “Yeah, well, that’s the problem with basing a society on how things appear on the surface…”

 

Hippos had ginormous fangs. Maybe it was that.

 

Haru flipped through a few more picture files, then showed him the multi-chambered stomach of a hippo. “Hippos can digest meat a little bit, and they might be able to get some nutrition from it… the research is honestly inconclusive right now… but they don’t actually need it like other carnivores do. They could go their whole lives eating the right plants and be just fine! They’re not alone in that classification either.”

 

Haru squinted at her phone and some of her other notes on the subject. “Really, I wish we had more information about the war, because I can’t really tell why certain species joined the side they did… Like, anteaters are literally named after eating living creatures , but we call them ‘herbivore’… There are a bunch of other ‘herbivore’ species that can also digest and benefit from meat, or the reverse. Some of those lucky species are what we scientifically call omnivores!”

 

Haru giggled to herself and faked a grouchy face like Gouhin, three fingers like his scars. “Our esteemed panda sensei is actually in that bracket.” 

 

Legosi held up his hands to stop her there, [Wait. What? How?] Legosi had to think back. [That can’t be right. Cherryton’s science teacher talked about pandas expressly. They said pandas don’t need protein.]

 

Haru gave an extremely exaggerated groan that moved her whole body. “Yeahhh… I remember that class… but the ‘no protein’ thing is apparently such a vast oversimplification, it’s worthless.” 

 

Haru looked around, turning in place as if hoping she could find another tool for teaching. “Our bodies are all made up of proteins, but proteins can form in tons of different ways. There are literally thousands of different proteins in one body, maybe hundreds of thousands in all - and digesting plant proteins is chemically different from digesting meat proteins…”

 

Haru started pacing left and right. “So to digest them - to actually get any nutritional benefit from them - your stomach needs to have… um… the right chemical keys? I don’t remember how they phrased it… Like, it doesn’t matter if you shove a plant into your mouth. If your body doesn’t have the right biology to break it down and safely absorb it, it's still worthless - or worse, it’s poison.”

 

Haru held a finger to her lips, thinking harder, ears wobbling side to side. The concept made sense in her head, but explaining it was trickier.

 

Legosi’s imagination had supplied something else. [Like a picture puzzle.] ‘Puzzle’ was at least easy for Haru to understand in fingerspelling. That’s a weirdly spelled word. [Puzzle pieces are cut up in all sorts of ways. But they only fit together in certain ways. And even if you have pieces from a different puzzle, there’s no guarantee they’ll fit together.]

 

Haru was still squinting but nodding along. “Kinda, yeah. I think.” She held out two hands to gesture, “Like, wow, air is air: my lungs can inhale oxygen and carbon dioxide, but if you only give me carbon dioxide to breathe, I’m going to die. My lungs need oxygen.”

 

Legosi shivered uncomfortably at the thought of her dying - but he did get the metaphor. [And some animals breathe air, and some breathe water, and some can breathe both…]

 

Haru snapped her fingers, “Yeah! Like that! It’s like that, but for our digestive systems instead of our lungs.”

 

By that point, Legosi had stopped paying attention to the praying mantis entirely. His brows were furrowed deep in thought. […The school cafeteria always said their meals were designed for our exact nutritional needs. Herbivores in one line, carnivores in the other… Carnivores get beans all the time because they’re supposed to be high in protein…]

 

Haru was tracking that with her eyes, but she didn’t remember all those signs. “Sorry. Can you type that? I only got half of it. School, cafeteria, said, meals…”

 

Haru trailed off, because Legosi was even then getting out his phone. He was typing faster in his eagerness, then added a little more, {I always thought beans were kind of… an odd choice… but I thought it was just a matter of taste. Milk and eggs taste way better to me.}

 

Haru was leaning over him a bit to read as he typed. “Yeah, that may be your instincts.” She’d certainly seen him eat egg salad all the time. “Egg proteins are more in line with what a carnivore really needs - I think. Like, that papaya we had tasted super good to me! And it's supposed to be good for rabbits.”

 

Legosi liked the memory of their little trio date. It might have made his tail wag, but the wolf was still deep in thought. {I remember Gouhin said something like that… That our instincts can influence our sense of taste… Our cravings… That we developed instincts and cravings for a reason…}

 

“Totally!” Haru agreed. “It’s totally like that. Thanks. But of course, even individual species show a ton of variation in their tastes and needs. Like, it's so obvious now that I’ve actually read the book, but only two lines? A panda is going to have vastly different nutritional needs than a grizzly bear, but it's the same cafeteria line for you, them, Tao and Aoba!”

 

Legosi immediately thought of them and Riz as well. Sure, Tao and Aoba had been putting on a little muscle from all their training, but they still probably weighed half as much as Riz - maybe less.

 

Hell, Legosi had to eat a whole lot more than his roommates and they were canids like him. He was used to getting his own sandwiches or sneaking more rice. The school was not, in fact, meeting Legosi’s needs. [So… pandas just… digest things differently than other bears?]

 

“Right!” Haru nodded, then rethought herself. She rubbed her busy forehead. “Sorry. I’m kind of learning so much stuff from these books and Gouhin, it's overwhelming. Like, pandas absolutely need some kind of protein. It’s just a matter of source. They may not hunger for meat like other bears, but they can digest meat - and it actually would be good for them!”

 

Haru giggled to herself and glanced at her smart phone’s album again, wondering if she had pictures of Gouhin with the munchies. “It’s actually kind of funny: pandas eat bamboo so much, but they actually aren’t that good at digesting it…” 

 

“…Their bodies are only able to receive a fraction of the nutritional benefit from it, compared to real herbivores like Louis and I. So pandas have to eat a ton of it to make up the difference!”

 

Haru pretended to hold up a piece of bamboo, “I’m pretty sure this is why Gouhin is, like, constantly snacking on bamboo!”

 

Legosi’s tail swayed behind him, and his ears were weighted down by an uncomfortable memory. [When Louis first talked to Gouhin, I heard Gouhin say something like that. That a carnivore like me has to eat twice as much for it to go half as far…]

 

So much for Haru’s sense of humor. That sobered her up fast.

 

It worried Legosi, and it definitely worried Haru and Louis, too. 

 

For a long time, they didn’t know if they could even talk about meat with Legosi. Haru was happier that they could be more honest with each other now, but it was still not exactly a comfortable conversation for the wolf.

 

Haru gently rubbed his shoulder. “Do you… feel that’s true for you? Or… I mean, you’ve been trying to get comfortable around the scent of meat for a while. But I know there’s a big difference between seeing it, smelling it, and actually eating it…”

 

Legosi glanced down and touched at his own stomach. [I don’t know. I know I’m hungry a lot, yeah. And I’ll eat pretty much anything. If something is wrong with my body… I can’t tell. I’m used to feeling this way.]

 

That, too, was part of the problem. Just cause it felt normal doesn’t mean it was ‘right,’ or even healthy. So much of their society was based on misinformation and entire generations were being taught the wrong thing.

 

Exactly how many carnivores out there were nutritionally starving and didn’t even know it? Sure, that Bloodbone stuff was out there and it needed to be stopped, but Legosi had seen enough sick carnivores. Devourings were going to keep happening until the system itself was fixed.

 

[Me, being hungry, is just… normal.]

 

That concept was more distressing the more Legosi thought about it. 

 

[Maybe the eggs help.]

 

Haru was going to reach for his hand and hold it, but thought better of it. Softly she touched the fluff of his cheek instead. “So… I do know two other things that might be good for you to keep in mind… but, huge caveat here, I’m not a doctor. I’m just interning with them.”

 

Legosi could keep a healthy amount of skepticism. [Okay… What two?]

 

Legosi could use more good things. 

 

“So,” Haru breathed and rubbed the wolf’s shoulder instead, “You’re part reptile. According to Gouhin’s books, most reptiles can go longer without meat than other carnivores. So they’re less prone to devouring. It’s part of the cold blooded thing, if I’m remembering right…” 

 

Yeah, that didn’t really help, and it showed on Legosi’s face. [I’m not cold blooded…]

 

Haru winced and floundered in place. “Y-yeah, I know… I just mean… your reptilian genetics might still be a factor for you. Rex, mammal-reptile hybrids are practically unheard of, and we have no real idea of how that will affect your biology long term.”

 

Legosi quietly nodded along. He certainly remembered the stories growing up. His mom even being conceived was called a 1-in-500 chance, much less to be born and live this long. [Gouhin’s been doing blood tests, but he keeps saying they’re ‘inconclusive’.] 

 

It was annoying really. Legosi wanted something definitive already. Legosi took a very deep breath and then blew out some of his frustration. [I think the hybrid part is throwing off his tests… but I think he doesn’t want to say that out loud. I can’t tell.]

 

Haru needed him to fingerspell that one word, ‘inconclusive.’ She added, “Yeah, and that’s kind of the other part… cause even our genes aren’t static and unchanging. Mutation is part of evolution. According to our archaeological record, there was a time when carnivores ate meat almost exclusively… A lot of animals in the sea still have a diet that is mostly or entirely meat. Big parts of the ocean have no vegetation at all.”

 

Yeah, if that was true, Legosi could already tell the land government would hate it . The land outlawed meat within its borders. If no meat in the ocean would mean the mass death of entire species? The land would NOT want the public hearing that and rethinking their own prohibition on meat.

 

Haru said, “Up here, on land, carnivores can get by with less meat than them… but for a lot of species, it’s still biologically necessary. Like, the Shishigumi are all felines. There’s a bunch of feline species that, if they just don’t get the right meat, their eyes can develop severe problems or even go blind.”

 

Legosi’s eyes and ears perked right up. [Blind?? How does that work??]

 

Haru was pretty sure he signed ‘blind,’ but she was going off gesture there. “Got me. Again, not a doctor! I assume it has something to do with the nutrients and proteins needed to maintain healthy cells in the eye, but I’m not a biologist either…” 

 

“…Carrots are supposed to be good for eyesight or something… but that’s plant matter. All the vitamin pills in the world won’t help if a body doesn’t have the right means to absorb it. Even then, we can only absorb so much at once. The rest just gets flushed out. Everything comes back to biology and chemistry.”

 

Legosi’s ears lowered again into worrisome thinking. 

 

Haru looked at her big carnivore boyfriend, hoping she could do something about it all. “So society is kind of caught in this middle ground right now. Our species are all evolving and changing, but that’s slow… Mutation and natural selection have altered our species an infinite amount of times already, and we know some carnivore species have already mutated to need less meat than in the past… but I’m really not willing to gamble another person’s blindness or death against the insignificant chance they’ll be fine without meat.”

 

Legosi gave a very slow, tiny nod. [Yeah… We’re not all pandas and hippos… Gouhin said the lions eat more meat than they really need… but I wouldn’t want to risk them all going blind either…]

 

Or risk them all devouring. Society would not fair well if all the gumis got desperate and lost control.

 

Legosi’s eyes started to fall, but Haru ever so gently touched his cheek again. “And this is your daily reminder that Louis and I are going to keep loving you whether you eat meat or not. We want you to be healthy, too. No suffering in silence, right?”

 

Haru tapped the tip of his nose in a playful sort of way. Legosi got a very modest smile, and his tail wagged a little more. [I know. …I remember…]

 

And for Legosi, that support meant a whole awful lot. [I don’t like the idea of me eating meat, but I have trauma… I don’t really want to see it, personally, but I’m okay with others eating it.]

 

[Like you said…] Legosi glanced down at the flower box and wondered if he could still see the praying mantis down there. [I’m not willing to gamble with another person’s life…]

 

Another idea came to the wolf. He looked at Haru again, [Have you read anything about foxes?]

 

Haru frowned, not seeing the segue. “Foxes? Not expressly, I don’t think. Not yet. Why?”

 

[It was something I heard in the past,] Legosi explained. [Cause they’re canids like me. I’ve heard some foxes have a really bad stomach. That the only thing they can eat is fried tofu.]

 

Haru touched a finger to her lips again, trying to recall if she read something like that. “That sounds really crappy. Fried tofu for every meal would royally suck.”

 

Legosi nodded along, but he’d been kneeling so long and he really needed to stretch his legs. So he started standing up. [What you said about our stomachs, and needing the right chemicals to absorb nutrients… it made me wonder about that. Cause what if that’s another lie from the government? What if those foxes could eat more, and do need to eat more? …They’re just designed for eating meat, not veggies.]

 

It didn’t take Haru long to process that. It even made her glare! The rabbit squeezed her fists, “Then I think I really, really want to punch my local politicians. Fried tofu forever sounds like torture.”

 

Legosi gave a few soft, breathy laughs. [I don’t know if I’d stop you, Haru…] Carnivores can’t even bare their fangs without breaking some law somewhere. Legosi took another moment to stretch his limbs. [I guess we could ask the Inarigumi this weekend… if my mom can really pull this off…]

 

Haru giggled and picked up her watering can again. “Yeah, if your mom is even half as good as your grandpa, we don’t have to worry much.” Haru kept giggling as she watered some more flowers. “I can’t wait for her to show off.”

 

Legosi was going to sign a reply but he stopped, and sniffed at the air. He raised his nose to sniff some more.

 

Haru asked, “Something up?”

 

The wolf frowned. His ears were flicking. [Do you hear anything?]

 

The rabbit stopped watering the plants and lifted an ear up higher. “Uh. The wind. The school sprinklers. Some girl chewing out her boyfriend for calling her the wrong name.”

 

Legosi signed, [No. Rattling.] He gestured more with his hand. [I’ve been hearing this rattling around the school for a few weeks… It’s really annoying.]

 

“Oh,” Haru said, then she tried to listen a little more. “Maybe it’s the school sprinklers? I’m used to hearing a lot.”

 

Legosi wasn’t sure about sprinklers. He held his own ears for a moment as if they had a problem. But with no other evidence or answers, he signed, [I guess…] and got back to gardening.

 

Maybe it was just tinnitus. 

……

When the Inarigumi walked the back alleys, everyone knew it. 

 

Even when it was evening, there seemed to be a crowd forming in their wake. 

 

They did not walk these streets to be subtle. Some people were even cheering for them, professing their love and appreciation for the female foxes. They had such style and grace. Their presence was inherently a challenge to the old ways of the market.

 

And to Leano, that was beautiful!

 

Because damn if the whole world didn’t know it: these streets had to change.

 

Leano had dressed in a nicer outfit today, with looser pants, a blouse and fashionable coat. She still wore a shawl to partially hide her ears, but her choice of color and patterns was brighter, more flowery. She, too, wanted to stand out tonight. 

 

Wanting to stand out…

 

It’d been so long since Leano could even think those words, but a meet with the Inarigumi was as good a reason as any. 

 

Ibuki, Hino, Dope, Ozone and Savon were with her as bodyguards. This was supposed to be peaceful, but a gumi was a gumi. There was no doubt each side would have more backup nearby. 

 

Louis and Legosi were also there, and Legosi brought his sword (‘just in case,’ you know). Haru, Gouhin, and his longtime assistant - the female owl, Yayoi - were also there. 

 

Leano stood in the center of it all, and as the Inarigumi approached, Leano had to smile. She carefully pointed towards the leader, “I love your dress.”

 

The leader of the Inarigumi was wearing an eyepatch along with a dangerous smirk. “My dress?”

 

“Yes. It’s lovely.” Leano gradually uncurled the shawl from her head and let it hang from her shoulders instead. Her pointed ears flicked with their new freedom. “Sleek, black, room to maneuver. I believe that’s called a qipao, correct?”

 

More pertinently: room for a fighting style that favored kicks. Leano half wondered if there was something special about those high heels. Secretly weapons? Leano wouldn’t put it past them.

 

The Inarigumi’s leader looked even more playful. She shifted on the front of her high heels, “I was not aware Gosha’s gumis were here to talk about dresses.”

 

Leano gestured towards the allies at her sides, “Oh, we’re here to talk about revolution . I just like your dress. Ten, isn’t it? Your name?”

 

Ten murmured a small laugh to herself, hands more on her hips. “That’s correct. We’ve heard yours is Leanne… the Dragon’s Daughter.”

 

Leano had the slightest smile. Apparently they were getting mythological. 

 

Leano said, “Almost. It’s Leano actually. It means ‘a god’s plan.’ Some deity - or at least my family - were feeling mischievous when I was born.”

 

Ten laughed a little more, the back of one hand lifting up as if to hide the lower half of her face. “I had heard about the Venom of the Black Devil and his hybrid grandson - but to be honest, before this moment, I had assumed it was just back alley gossip. Adoption and rumor… He’s yours then?”

 

Ten pointed at Legosi in case there was any question, and the wolf tensed a little. He gripped the hilt of his sword tighter - his security and stress toy.

 

Leano took a step forward, replied faster, “Yes. He’s my son. His appearance is by design actually. I wanted to give him as normal a life as possible - and that’s why we’re standing here today.”

 

Ten touched the space above her chest, “To strike an alliance with the Inarigumi?” Ten shook her head in disbelief. “You must be desperate!”

 

Leano dared to laugh as well, “Oh, I am! Have you seen these men?” She pointed them out, “The Shishigumi wear nice clothes, but they’re used to being hoodlums. The Dokugumi are more mature, but their sense of style is more childish than the lions. And as another woman, I don’t think I really need to tell you, but I am overwhelmed by their… posturing.”

 

She probably meant a different word.

 

Savon clutched his heart in pretend injury, “Leano, that hurts! I wore my big boy pants and everything for this!”

 

There was a little more giggling then - from both sides of the line. 

 

Ten paced left and right as she sized up Leano’s group. Her one good eye was a very good eye. “Well, that may be… but your choice of representation here is an obvious ploy. You’re trying to show a united front, men and women of different ages and species, but let’s be honest: Gosha’s gumis are all men, and even the bear’s staff are mostly male carnivores.”

 

Leano’s spirit had not weakened at all. “It is exactly that,” she boldly admitted, “because this - right here - is what I’m hoping we can make together. And if you want to make a change, you have to start somewhere… Who knows change better than the Inarigumi?”

 

Leano paused as she glanced over Ten’s shoulder and saw a few shrouded faces in the Inarigumi’s ranks. ‘The Dragon’s Daughter’ had the same keen nose as Legosi - keen enough to realize several other things. Leano spoke louder, “To be honest, I am surprised by your own membership… pleasantly surprised. I was told the Inarigumi were comprised of foxes, but I see women of several species among your number.” 

 

Leano gently pointed at several women behind Ten, “I see a spotted hyena… I’m fairly certain she’s a panther, but she’s hiding her ears… You almost look raccoon. Are you a hybrid as well? Or coyote?”

 

One of the women had pronounced facial markings across her eyes, and yes, they showed a certain resemblance to a raccoon. She stepped further back into her gumi’s shadow.

 

Ten stepped closer to Leano, demanding her attention again, “What’s your point?”

 

Leano waited, coy and particular, choosing her words with utmost care. Her own appreciation for theater was showing now. “My point… is that I am a middle-aged mother, and my father is a grandfather. He sacrificed everything to guarantee my son’s safety from those lions. People died. Now Gosha wants to help change these streets for the better…”

 

“…but my son just couldn’t stay away. He also wants to help. I suppose it runs in the family. So, since both of the men in my life are trying to make these streets a better place, can I really stay away?”

 

Ten still looked suspicious and her one good eye was narrowing on Leano. At her hands, her clawed fingers were flexing. “The back alleys are not a safe place for a mother.”

 

Leano agreed coldly, “No, they aren’t. And that’s what we need to change.” Leano motioned for an answer from the rest of the Inarigumi, “How many of you have children?”

 

Behind Leano, the owl nurse raised her wing. Ten glanced back at her own people and a few of them reluctantly put their hands up. In the crowd, a few others were doing likewise. Gouhin didn’t look happy about it, but he grumpily raised a hand as well.

 

Leano stepped away from her guards, closer to Ten, but Leano was speaking to all of them like she was on a stage. Her hands felt the air like there was danger on the breeze, “These streets are not safe! And yet all carnivores have to walk them eventually! Every family - our fathers, or our sons, even our mothers and sisters - they’ve walked these streets, and yet these streets are still not safe!!” 

 

“You can see it on my son’s throat! Five years old and a crazed carnivore ripped it out!” Leano started walking to the side and pointed at a different alley, “My mother was nearly killed here! Down that way over there! That's how my parents met! She was nearly skinned for her fur when winters got bad and Gosha had to save her, because the cops pretend this neighborhood doesn't exist!”

 

Leano breathed heavy and looked at the whole Inarigumi, fierceness on every line of her body. “And despite everything I’ve done to give my son a good life, he was still kidnapped by a lion who eats children! So, yes, Ten, I am desperate for a world where this stops happening!”

 

The crowd’s tense breathing was the only sound that dared to interrupt.

 

Leano could hear the blood in her own pointed ears. “My father is not flawless, but he’s trying to fix things with his newfound authority. And I will tell you honestly: his gumis have much to learn. Some are prejudiced. I assume several are assholes.” 

 

A few people laughed, but Leano was being serious. “What do they say? ‘Beggars can’t be choosers’?” 

 

Leano’s scaled snout still wrinkled in a lupine way. She kept pacing in front of the Inarigumi like a sergeant drilling her troops. “I do not look forward to working with them. I won’t lie to you about that. I don’t want to be here at all! But I do look forward to what we might accomplish with them! Because at the end of the day, what I care about most is my family…”

 

“…I care about my father and I hope he actually gets to enjoy his retirement one day, because I already lost my mother. I care about my son getting to grow up and go to college, because he has always deserved a better life than this.”

 

All attention was on that one impossible hybrid. “I care… about all the time I spend worrying for him … getting killed … on his way … to a restaurant. And I am certain that I am not the only woman who feels that way. My son’s girlfriend, she couldn’t stay away…” 

 

“…She joined Gouhin’s clinic and she’s a rabbit! She’s not even carnivore, and neither is my son’s interpreter - and yet they’re here with us now for the same reason: because they care for a carnivore like us… Even they can see how badly things need to change… and we can’t do it all without the Inarigumi.” 

 

“So please,” Leano thumbed backwards at Savon and the lions, “Help me get these gangsters in line, cause I’m tired of people getting hurt on these streets.”

 

There was a bit of quiet murmuring and deliberation among the Inarigumi.

 

Ten still looked amused. Maybe that was just the face she put on, a mask of boundless confidence. It was probably necessary in a place like this. Ten joked, “They’re going to need a lot of help, aren’t they?”

 

Leano playfully agreed, “So much. I swear, I was with them less than two hours and one of the lions stripped shirtless to show me his tattoos.” 

 

Ten laughed, “Must have been Free! He likes those!”

 

Leano nodded, smiled, cause she felt the mood shift around them. Leano regarded her own claws and joked back, “But on the bright side, they liked when I smashed a few throats. Gangsters, right?”

 

Ten laughed again and lifted one foot, “I’m more partial to kicking heads. It always surprises them!”

 

Leano laughed softly and that time it wasn’t even forced, “Okay, now that I need to see… Do you have photographs?”

 

Ten shook her head with a smile. Her limbs seemed to relax, and she talked just a little bit more with her hands. “I admit, Gosha’s destruction of the hyperdrug business… it might not have made him any money or friends in the city…” 

 

“…but it did please us. Those charlatans have hurt too many people already. But we didn’t form the Inarigumi to get swept up in someone else’s crusade. How would an alliance even work?”

 

Leano pointed towards the silent panda, “Gouhin is in control of his clinic and has final say on the patrols. He overrides even Gosha on that. Non-lethal force only. Gosha may lead the lions and the dragons, but you’d still lead the Inarigumi. But I think it matters if the Inarigumi join us on those patrols.”

 

“And what about the coin?” Ten rubbed two fingers and a thumb together like she was feeling money. “Gosha’s gumis are still gangsters. They’re still running protection rackets. And we know there’s even more cash flowing in their direction, ever since the hypderdrug business was taken out.”

 

Leano said honestly, “I don’t actually know too much about their specific finances. Everybody gets a fair wage, more for you and your higher ranking members. You can haggle the specifics out of Gouhin and Jinma, but for the most part Gosha’s been trying to build up funds for fixing the streets.”

 

Ten looked suspicious. She crossed her arms over her chest, “Fixing the streets sounds pretty vague. Philanthropy is often the smokescreen of the rich.”

 

Leano held up a claw and corrected herself, “I meant that literally, not figuratively.”

 

Leano stomped on the ground twice, “The back alleys are lucky to have dirt road in some places and grungy concrete in others. The streets literally need to be repaired - it's a hazard - and since the government won’t do it, someone has to. You can call it a protection racket if you want, but the need for protection is real here and you know that.”

 

The crowd whispered more about that. Leano overheard several comments in agreement, people complained about the terrible state of the back alley all the time. Even tripping could be dangerous. 

 

Ten must have heard the whispers, too. She grunted once.

 

Gouhin raised a hand and chose then to comment, “My clinic has access to funds from the medical community as well, and everyone who works with me on those patrols gets paid for it. Rehabilitating struggling carnivores is dangerous work, but it's necessary - or more kids like Legosi are going to get hurt.”

 

Leano instinctively glanced back at Legosi as well, and how the wolf was still tightly holding that sword.

 

Leano returned her focus to Ten and the Inarigumi. “We want the Inarigumi to join us on those patrols. We need you. We want people to understand: Gouhin and Gosha are trying to make something legitimate of the back alley market…”

 

“…and they’re rehabilitating their gumis in the process. Your presence will help that goal. We know full well you will have experiences, knowledge, and perspectives different from theirs. You can make our work better.”

 

Ten didn’t respond right away. She was still debating a few things with herself, trying to reconsider the things that were being said, and all the reasons for deception. 

 

The Inarigumi continued whispering their own deliberation. 

 

But Ten was smart and she could tell which way the wind was blowing. The people who had been holding signs for the Inarigumi weren’t holding them as high or so strongly. 

 

She still looked at Leano and the others suspiciously. Ten eventually asked, “You really are trying to be more than gangsters?”

 

Leano replied firmly, “I would not be here at all if this was just a gang matter. This is bigger than that. I call it revolution because that’s what it is! We can’t succeed in something so ambitious if we don’t have more help. We want the Inarigumi to help us.”

 

Ten seemed almost frustrated by it now. Leano was painting a picture of success in front of this whole crowd, and if they failed without the Inarigumi, people would blame the Inarigumi, too.

 

Leano was praising them and making them responsible. It was practically a dirty trick.

 

So much for having the public on the Inarigumi’s side.

 

Ten sighed out her annoyance. Hands were on her hips again. “You know, they started calling you the Dragon’s Daughter… but for a moment there, I forgot the daughter of a dragon is probably another dragon.”

 

What a strange time for Leano to feel proud of her heritage. “Funny how that works, isn’t it?”

 

Ten strode closer with purpose in every sharp step. 

 

She offered a hand out low, but still looked ready to complain. “It’ll be nice to finally put some class into this place, but if one of the lions starts talking shit, I still reserve the right to kick them.”

 

The grin that crossed Leano’s face was almost predatory. Leano clasped her reptilian hand around the fox’s in agreement. “By all means, please do so, and take a camera. I’d love to see the photographs.”

……

Even before Haru got into the car, she was giggling to herself. 

 

Legosi got in on the left side of the car and Louis on the right. Legosi held the sheathed sword carefully off to one side, so no one would get hurt by it if the car stopped suddenly

 

Louis knew the look on Haru’s face though. He breathed a heavy sigh. He didn’t even finish buckling before asking, “Okay, what terrible joke do you have now?”

 

The white rabbit had a grin most terrifying. Her little legs were kicking as the car drove off. “I don’t know how to say this without it sounding horribly wrong! So I’m just going to say it: Legosi, I’m kinda wishing I could be like your mother.”

 

The wolf wheezed so hard, he had to start hitting his chest. Louis burst out laughing.

 

Hino couldn’t fully turn his head while he was driving the car, but he had a soft rumble himself. “Yeah, I think even I would be hard pressed to sell a line like that.”

 

Louis playfully jostled the small rabbit. “Well, if it wasn’t clear before, I’m pretty sure we just saw why Legosi joined the drama club.”

 

Legosi gave a slightly annoyed huff of air. [I have plenty of ideas of my own, thank you! And I’m quite happy in the garden club.]

 

Haru giggled a bit more. “And I’m quite happy to have you!” She hooked her arm around Legosi’s, “Louis is just jealous we get so much alone time now.”

 

Louis crossed his arms, feigning annoyance. “Well, it’s true, but you don’t have to say it!”

 

Legosi really wished he could sigh louder. [You know, I almost miss the days when my only concern was Bill, trying to hook me up with a gay wolf in math class…]

 

Haru and Louis had an eerily identical grin on their faces.

 

Legosi glared at them both. He signed with more insistence, [No. NO. No no. No. Stop that. Put those faces away. Those are bad faces!]

 

Louis and Haru giggled their way back to Cherryton.

Chapter 52: Bitter pills

Summary:

-Long chapter is basically a double chapter. Comments keep me writing.-

How much pain does it take to change your mood?

Trigger warning for self-harming carnivores.

Notes:

I'm a happy ending writer, but this part of canon is a tragedy...

An excerpt from Chapter 38.

*

Gouhin nodded sharply again. “The experience can take weeks, maybe even months, during which time they’ll likely crave more meat. They’ll sweat more, drool more, have trouble focusing or sleeping, or a number of other symptoms…”

 

“…Like someone with depression or anxiety, they’ll be plagued by intrusive thoughts that they can’t control. During that time, they could even become a danger to themselves, or others. They might devour. They might do or think things they wouldn’t normally do…”

 

“…Some people handle that transition better than others - and some handle it worse. It matters if they have family or friends to help them through it, who understand what they’re feeling.”

 

Louis was concerned, “And if they don’t?

 

Gouhin looked concerned, too. “Then they’re even more screwed. They’ll probably start hating themselves, thinking they’re a terrible person for having feelings and thoughts they can’t control , and like I said, guilt and repression can make everything worse. But even with help, there’s a chance it could fuck up anybody…”

 

“…And in full honesty, the transition from a repressed life - from a young carnivorous child who’s grown up with a strong sense of empathy and herbivore friendships - to the realization they’ve been slowly starving ? That real food has always been at hand? It can break them. It’s broken many of them. Some carnivores even eat themselves rather than hurt someone else.”

 

Gouhin dug his phone out of his pocket and opened it to a canvas of photos: the carnivores who took to self-harming. He scrolled through the images, showing them to Louis, one after another. 

 

The feverish and desperate and lost. 

 

Most were full of scars. 

 

Some were missing limbs.

 

Many were young, Louis realized. Some looked as young as Legosi.

 

Gouhin explained, “In my clinic, I have entire walls covered with the pictures of carnivores who fell apart, ripped themselves up and chewed off their own limbs because they couldn’t take it …”

*

It was a few days after Leano’s speech.

 

In Gouhin’s hospital, someone was humming a jaunty tune.

 

…Lively, perky, strangely happy…

 

You could probably dance to it.

 

Low to the ground, Haru’s head leaned around a corner in the hallway. “It’s so weird.”

 

Louis leaned around the corner as well, his head above Haru’s ears. “I would not have believed it. I’m seeing it with my own eyes, and I still don’t believe it.”

 

Legosi leaned out above Louis, but the tall wolf was more confused than anything. He saw what they did, heard what they did, but he had no real answers. Also, he couldn’t really sign to them if Louis and Haru were staring a different way.

 

But there, in Gouhin’s little hospital, the panda was humming a merry tune.

 

Gouhin had a clipboard and was checking rooms, marking things down. The hospital itself was busier, more people headed this way and that. They had a whole new influx of volunteers from the Inarigumi and even further beyond. With a proper staffing of orderlies, a few more health professionals signed up, too.

 

Haru wasn’t privy to everything that went on between Gouhin and the gumis, but it sounded like Leano’s speech went a little further than just the Inarigumi. Other people around the back alleys and the city… they wanted to get involved. Many didn’t even know Gouhin’s clinic was legit. There were a lot of sketchy places around the back alleys - like the now destroyed hyperdrug business.

 

Gouhin’s bastion against the dark… was looking a little more like a lighthouse.

 

Dope was about to tap Legosi on the shoulder when Legosi turned to look at him. 

 

Dope showed the same confusion and signed, [What’s going on?]

 

[No idea,] Legosi signed back. He pointed down the hall, [Gouhin is… happy?]

 

Dope chuckled softly. “Yes… yes, apparently he is…” Dope patted him on the back in friendly camaraderie. “Thank your mom for us. Now if only we could shut down this Bloodbone stuff, we might be able to get Gouhin to take his first vacation in years.”

……

Gouhin had a room prepared for the next session of Legosi’s exposure therapy, but that door was kept closed for now. He wanted to talk with the trio first, and had some calming tea made for them as well. “So… today’s the big day.”

 

Legosi sat a little more stiffly on the couch. Haru was leaning up against him on his left. Louis had a hand against Legosi’s right leg, the smallest of touches.

 

Legosi sipped the tea and tried to focus on that, but his nose was wrinkling already.

 

Gouhin thumbed at the door some distance away. “Can you smell it already?”

 

Legosi gave a slight nod, but the unpleasant look on Legosi’s face said much more.

 

Gouhin tried to be encouraging, but he didn’t want to push. “You’ve come a very long way from that kid who passed out in the dark. And you three really are making a difference. But in that room is fresh, bloody meat and, Legosi, it will be unpleasant for you. So!” Gouhin gestured toward the other exit, “If you want to be done right now and head home, that’s your choice - and it would make Leano very happy. She’s told me so. Repeatedly.”

 

Legosi grit his teeth a bit, wanted to grumble. Louis had to interpret for him, [This isn’t about my family. It’s about me.]

 

Legosi squeezed his fists a bit more. Then he second guessed that and forcibly opened his hands after all. [It’s taken so long for me to get here, and if I run now… I’m not sure I’d ever stop running. And that won’t be healthy for me, mentally or physically… So… I’m going through that door.]

 

Gouhin watched him for just a little more. Legosi’s resolve was shaky, but enough. Tea still in hand, Gouhin gradually stood back up. “Then that’s what we’ll do. And we’ll walk through it together.”

……

It hurts. 

 

That’s all he could think. 

 

It hurts. It hurts, it hurts, oh fuck, please stop hurting! 

 

He sucked in a tight breath between his teeth. 

 

Please! Stop hurting! F-fuck!

 

His hands squeezed so hard on the edge of the sink, hands threatening to break it.

 

Shit fuck hell. Just stop. Stop. Stop is good. 

 

Hold it in. Hold it in, it’s okay, it’s fine, it’s just in your head - but it still hurts!

 

An agonized noise wanted to leave his throat. His body was so tense, he couldn’t even lift his eyelids. They were shut so tight.

 

I can take it, I can take it.

 

Every inch of him was clammy and sick. If his stomach could wrap itself in knots, then his insides would never come undone. 

 

Fever under his fur. He wanted to rip it off. No air was moving, none that he could feel. Chilled and burning at the same time. Sick. Sick, everywhere sick.

 

His world was shaking. The whole building had turned into a boat, rocking him upwards and down, swaying every which way. He gripped the sink even harder cause it was the only thing that kept him standing. 

 

Something started to crack. Knees nearly buckled. Worthless limbs couldn’t do anything. He was supposed to be strong!

 

Throw up! Throw up, it’s good, it’s something, move!

 

Acid in his throat. The smell was overpowering and it kept threatening to burn his mouth, too. 

 

Maybe if he threw up, he’d feel better, but he couldn’t even do that!

 

It’s fine! I’m fine! I’m completely fine I’m fine it just hurts that’s all it just hurts but that’s okay it’s time!

 

Just time! Just time. On a boat. I’m on a boat. Going up and down. Up and 

 

The fire in his throat felt like it was burning everything inside. 

 

He gasped for air. It still wasn’t moving.

 

Breathe! Just breathe! 

 

I can, I can breathe, that’s all. That’s all I, all I need - all I need - air. Just, air. Air.

 

Scrumptious delights. 

 

His body flinched at the words. 

 

No. No no no no. They’re not

 

Scrumptious delights. 

 

They’re -

 

Had to mean something.

 

They’re good. They’re good. They’d taste -

 

No. No please. 

 

They’d taste good. They’d have to. They’d taste so good.

 

Taste -

 

Taste anything. I want to -

 

Taste anything. Anything. 

 

They’d be so -

 

Delicious. Flavor. 

 

His body shook.

 

I’m tired. I’m so tired. I’m tired. I hurt. I can’t. 

 

Breathe! Just breathe! That’s all I - all I - I’m -

 

I can’t alone I can’t 

 

Why can’t - 

 

Air! Air in! Air out! That’s - that’s -

 

Has to mean something, had to. Didn’t it? No air!

 

Not enough not enough hurts hurts hurts

 

His body was falling forward. His head was closer and closer to the sink. He tried to reach for a song, a tune, a memory, anything, but nothing was there except the same old agony.

 

Everyday’s agony.

 

It’s my body, mine, it’s mine.

 

I can’t. I can’t take it. Please stop. Please just stop hurting. 

 

Please please please I can’t 

 

Alone.

 

Alone again

 

I can’t 

 

Make it stop

 

Please

 

Please someone just 

 

Make it

 

Flavorful 

 

Bites

 

Stop

 

Stop 

 

PLEASE

 

The door to the boys’ bathroom opened up and the dall sheep, Pina, walked inside. He took one look at Riz and said, “You look terrible.”

 

The burn hit the back of the bear’s throat and Riz finally threw up hard.

*

Riz wanted a do-over. Every morning with the pills was agony, but at least he could usually get by. 

 

He could have sworn he had honey somewhere, but the migraines made it hard to think and hard to see. Everything was too bright and he couldn’t find it. 

 

Everybody takes the light for granted until every lightbulb makes you sick.

 

They think a migraine is just a headache, and not all the other crazy symptoms as your brain incinerates in its own chemicals.

 

He couldn’t focus in morning classes to save his life. His grades in them were constantly suffering, but today was one of the worst. 

 

He could barely open his eyes beyond a squint, and by the time the teacher finished one sentence, Riz forgot how it began.

 

Clammy and sweaty and sickly was never a good combination… and when Riz finally got the courage to ask the teacher if he could see the school nurse, it was already too late. Riz could barely stagger into the bathroom in time.

 

And now he was sitting on the bathroom floor, back against the wall, with a bundle of wet paper towels against his forehead.

 

Pina alternated between reading things on his smart phone and wetting a new paper towel for Riz’s head.

 

The squinting bear looked at him in confusion. The pills attacked his vocal chords like every other muscle of his body, and he had trouble speaking up, “Why are you doing this?”

 

Pina was glancing at his phone again. “Oh, I just think this is a great excuse to stay out of class. We got a boring lecture today. You know how it is.”

 

Riz scoffed at it - but he honestly couldn’t tell if Pina was joking or meant that seriously.

 

The dall sheep put on this big, cheery expression when he smiled. Riz could have liked it, were it not for their previous experience at the drama club. Now it just looked fake.

 

Pina glanced at his phone a bit more. “If you can actually talk now, I suppose I should ask if this is a real medical emergency - or if you just had a really bad breakfast.”

 

Riz wasn’t sure about the voice, but at least he could breathe again. He rubbed at his chest, whispered, “Chronic condition. Not breakfast.”

 

“Really?” Pina looked up from his phone. Eyes scrutinized the bear’s appearance once more. Then he shrugged, “Huh. I guess that sucks.”

 

Riz huffed once. It was the closest to a laugh he could provide. His diaphragm felt weak, too. He pressed the cold paper towels to his forehead and hoped the cold would go deeper. “Yeah… Yeah, it does.”

 

Pina slipped his smart phone back into his pocket. He looked around outside the door, but they were still utterly alone. “Well, I suppose I should head back before the class ends. Can you get to the nurse on your own, or should I send for help or something?”

 

Riz honestly wasn’t sure at this point. The nausea and dizziness had diminished, but standing up… walking all the way to the nurse… Riz grimaced because a lot of things could change fast. He wanted to fall into the floor and stop existing.

 

But the bear did not have fond memories of Pina, and Riz preferred to save what little face he had. Riz struggled to get standing. He grit his teeth to focus. “I can get there fine.”

 

Pina stared at him for a moment more, then he started giggling. “Seriously?” He gestured up and down the bear, “The tough guy act might have worked twenty minutes ago, but I just saw you puking your guts out. Now it’s just quaint.”

 

Pina pointed to the door, “I’m gonna walk to the nurse. You can come with me if you want. Otherwise I’ll send help.”

 

Riz grumbled under his breath and started following Pina out of spite. His voice was still hoarse and ragged, “I’m fine without you. Besides, I already know how you feel about carnivores.”

 

Pina walked to a silent rhythm, like there was some music in his head. “Huh. Really? Have we met?”

 

If Pina was about to drop one of those ‘all carnivores look alike’ jokes, Riz might be tempted to eat him. Not like anyone missed Tem, and people actually liked Tem. The bear’s constant squint became more of a glare, “The drama club? You don’t remember? ‘It’s impossible for carnivores to look beautiful. It’s a scientific fact’.”

 

Pina laughed to himself and put his hands behind his head. “I just tell it like it is. It’s not my fault some people can’t handle the truth.”

 

A growl gave Riz strength to say, “It’s funny how whenever someone describes themselves that way, what they really mean is they’re an asshole incapable of acting like an adult, and they really don’t care about anyone but themselves.”

 

Pina promptly turned to face the bear, “Well, that’s just not true. I care about a lot of people. I love making people happy.”

 

Riz loomed over him, “Then be grateful, because we are all happy you left - and when you insulted Legosi, we enjoyed watching you get slapped.”

 

Pina touched at his left cheek, “Oh. Right. I got slapped. I forgot that.”

 

The bear’s head tilted sideways in confusion. “How do you possibly forget being so prejudiced and insulting that another herbivore slapped you in the face for it?”

 

Pina beamed like impossible sunshine, rocking up on his toes. “Oh, I get slapped all the time. The other day I was making out with this girl, but I called her by the name of another girl I was dating, so she slapped me.” It rolled off Pina’s shoulders like everything else. “What can I say? It was a huge mistake.”

 

And yet even when Pina said that, he didn’t seem to be taking it seriously at all. He could have been talking about the weather.

 

Riz leaned a little closer, staring at the sheep’s face. “…Huh…” 

 

Pina just sort of stood there. “Huh? What huh?”

 

Riz gently pointed at the sheep’s cheek with a claw. “The fur on the left side of your face is thinner than the right side of your face. Keep getting slapped so much and you’re going to develop a bald spot before you’re twenty.”

 

Riz gave him a thumbs up. “Keep up the good work. I know how much you love your appearance.”

 

Pina crossed his arms grumpily. “Now you’re just being mean.”

 

The hoarse bear shook his head with wicked glee. “No, I’m ‘just telling it like it is. It’s a scientific fact. It’s not my fault some people can’t handle the truth’.”

 

As Riz walked away, he was pretty sure Pina double backed toward the bathroom - and he hoped Pina was looking at himself in the mirror.

 

And Riz would have loved to savor that moment, to actually talk back to a bigot for once, but it didn’t take long for him to second guess the whole encounter. The migraines took away his tolerance and the pain made him more mean.

 

Pina was actually helping - bigot or not - and now Riz felt guilty, short-sighted and stupid. 

 

He hated this. He hated it so much. The government made him take these stupid pills, those pills were fucking with his brain and body, wrecking his grades, his own personality. 

 

It’d been the same story for so long, every single day, no reprieve, and now he couldn’t even tell where the migraines ended and he began.

 

Not like Riz thought he was a ‘nice guy’ either. He wondered if he even had the room to talk back.

 

In the nurse’s office, Riz started scratching at his chest without thinking about it. 

 

He had to stop before he cut himself again. He already had enough scars from doing that.

 

He squeezed his right wrist tight, painfully tight, trying to will himself not to cut again.

 

And the best the nurse did for him was some over-the-counter pills, a drink, and sent him back to class.

 

Great. They gave him a dose for a dog, not a bear.

 

Maybe he should scratch himself again. If people saw blood, would they actually care for once?

 

They shouldn’t. If Riz was suffering now, well…

 

Didn’t matter.

 

Doesn’t… ever matter…

……

Finding Pina wasn’t hard. A lot of people don’t know how good a bear’s nose is, and Pina smelled of multiple girls and several beauty products. The scent was distinct.

 

The difficult part was figuring out what Pina might like to eat. Riz did a little online research and hoped he’d get lucky - realized he was never lucky, so he went with a variety of homemade snack foods instead. He had to buy more honey from the store anyway.

 

Pina was eating lunch outside with another girl today, a goat with horns. They had a seat on a bench outside, half covered by the shade. Pina himself had a tendency to get very close to her and his left arm was over her shoulder. She was giggling a little, at least until Riz showed up. Then she went still instead.

 

Pina playfully jostled her, “Don’t worry, Ashley. It’s just a big scary bear. He’s not actually a threat.”

 

Riz already had the box lunch in his hand and was going to say something. 

 

But the goat leaned away from Pina and she spoke first, “Excuse me?”

 

Pina looked at her more clearly. “The bear? Not a threat. I know how to deal with him.”

 

Pina tried to pull her closer, but she fully pushed him back. She was far from amused. She said, “Not Ashley.”

 

Pina showed a bit more confusion. “Not Ashley?”

 

Riz laughed once and looked away from the impending disaster. “Wow, Pina. Are you mixing up your girlfriends’ names again?”

 

The goat sat up straighter and her voice rose with it, “Again?!”

 

Cherryton heard the sound of a slapped sheep once more, and the goat stomped off.

 

Riz tried not to laugh, he really did, but he had to laugh a little. Pina was rubbing at his left cheek again. Pina complained, “And here I thought we had something special, teddy. Who knew you were the kind to hold a grudge?”

 

Riz, still smiling, shook his head. “Yeah, I take absolutely no responsibility for your dating life. That’s on you.” Riz held out the box lunch, “But this is also for you.”

 

Pina crossed his arms. “Poison? You shouldn’t have.”

 

Riz rolled his eyes, “I’m ‘a big scary bear,’ Pina. If I wanted to hurt you, I wouldn’t need to make you food.” The bear shifted on his feet, “But I was really sick and you were actually helping, so I’m sorry. I made this for you. Bon appetit.”

 

Pina still looked suspicious, but he held out a hand and took what Riz was offering. Like someone receiving a ransom for a hostage, Pina opened the box on the sly. “Thank you. I suppose.”

 

Pina wasn’t used to a guy making him lunch, much less a bear.

 

Riz gave him a single wave before he turned around. “You’re welcome. Thanks for the paper towels.”

 

Okay. Order restored. Riz did his good deed, said sorry, and could now put this whole disaster of a week behind him.

 

He had to keep moving forward. He had to.

 

That was all there is to it.

 

Can’t look back.

 

Scrumptious delights.

 

No. Can’t. Look. Back.

 

……

Gouhin stood next to a table with a hunk of meat on a plate. “So… how do you feel today?”

 

Legosi’s nose still crinkled at the presence of bloody meat. He preferred to keep as far away as he could, right next to the exit. [Gross.]

 

Legosi would have crossed his arms, but he needed those to sign. Thankfully, Louis was there to interpret and Haru was taking notes.

 

Gouhin moved his hand in a circle, encouraging him to continue. “Yeah, I’m going to need more than that. Gross in what way? What part feels gross? You, or it?”

 

Legosi stared at him like the answer should be obvious. His ear flicked. He huffed once and signed, [This is our third session. I am still here, staring at bloody meat. Sniffing it. The meat… is gross. So I feel gross.]

 

Gouhin asked, “And your chest?”

 

[Tight. Racing. Same old, same old.]

 

Gouhin patted the bear’s belly. “And your stomach? How does that feel?”

 

Legosi complained, [The opposite of hungry…]

 

“Huh.” Gouhin leaned over Haru to read what she’d written so far and then rubbed his chin. “You know, I honestly expected you’d throw up by now… or actually eat it.”

 

The first day, Gouhin wanted it to just be Legosi - just in case real meat actually did trigger those carnivore urges. Nothing happened. No vomit. No nothing. Legosi didn’t even drool.

 

Legosi turned his nose up at it. [I am not eating bloody zebra…] He sighed once, [But at least I’m not freaking out today… so I’ll keep taking this as a good sign…]

 

Gouhin grunted at Louis’ interpretation. Then Gouhin pointed at the meat, “It’s horse actually.”

 

[No,] Legosi signed immediately.

 

Gouhin scoffed, “What do you mean ‘no’?” The bear actually looked offended and nudged the plate of meat. “It’s horse! Miguel got it from the horse stall… Do not roll your eyes at me!”

 

Haru giggled, Louis laughed. Apparently Legosi didn’t roll his eyes with enough subtlety. 

 

When Legosi sighed that time, it was a little more playful. [Horse smells different. It’s a zebra, male, middle-aged .] Legosi sniffed again. [And he drank way too much alcohol.]

 

Louis couldn’t interpret that with a straight face. He chuckled in the middle somewhere.

 

Gouhin crossed his arms and complained, “Okay, now you’re just fucking with me. How would you know that?”

 

Legosi started to smirk. He shrugged a little, [I don’t know. I just do. How do you know an apple’s scent from an orange?]

 

“Apples do not have a scent.” Gouhin warned him with a finger, “Stop that.”

 

Haru was still taking notes, but she laughed at that, too. “They totally do, panda sensei. You just smoke too much.”

 

Louis affectionately rubbed at the wolf’s shoulder, “Legosi’s really good at remembering a scent. Aren’t you?”

 

What a weird thing to be praised for. Legosi’s traitorous tail actually wagged a few times. 

 

Legosi really wasn’t trying to brag, [I remember everything I’ve ever smelled. I’ve got a … scent vault or something in my head. Cherryton has thousands of students and biology hours where the species separate. We walk around the back alleys all the time, there’s tons of people across the city, and I’ve been standing here sniffing a dead bloody zebra corpse for several minutes.] 

 

Legosi signed harder with his certainty, [It’s a zebra. And he’s been dead for less than a day, and his body was handled by a wolf.]

 

Gouhin blinked for a few moments, still regarding the wolf with suspicion. A few gears were moving in his head. Then Gouhin said, “Huh…” He pointed at Haru, “What do you think and smell when you look at that?”

 

The rabbit was momentarily off guard. She glanced at the meat and then at her own notes, but she hadn’t written down her own sensory experience. “Uh… it’s … juicy red meat? I have a general sensation that I should leave, but that’s an old herbivore instinct. I used to be more fidgety before Legosi.”

 

Gouhin pointed at Louis, “And you? What do you think and smell?”

 

Louis stepped away from Legosi for a moment and put his hands in his pockets. Louis gave a few sniffs in the meat’s direction, but… “I don’t really smell anything strange. But then I spend more time with the lions, and they often smell like meat. I don’t really… think much of anything. It’s just meat.”

 

Gouhin gave a firm nod. Then he got out his own phone and started texting. “I’m gonna have Miguel double-check the stall’s records, see if some zebra got mixed up or something. But if it did… I think we might have just come up with something important.”

 

Legosi asked, [Which part?] Louis was already asking, “Important like what?”

 

Gouhin glanced at the wolf as he kept texting. “Way back when we first met, you told me you could still smell the drool of the man who bit you. I thought that was tied to your traumatic memories, the effect of trauma on the brain. A lot of people know that trauma can screw with your memories, alter them, maybe cause you to forget…”

 

“…and sometimes trauma can highlight our bad memories, make it way harder to forget… I thought you were in the latter category, but, Legosi, if you remember everything you ever smelled , and you can still smell that much from a piece of meat… that’s not normal .”

 

Legosi scoffed so hard, he turned around in place and threw his hands up. [Great! Thanks! So glad to learn something new!]

 

“Listen!” Gouhin motioned to him and then at the meat. “I look at that and think meat. Haru looks and thinks meat. Louis looks at that and thinks meat. You look at that, smell that, and your brain is thinking of a dead middle-aged male zebra who drank too much alcohol.”

 

[Handled by a wolf,] Legosi added, but he was starting to get the picture. 

 

“Handled by a wolf,” Gouhin repeated, and the bear had a surprising smirk. 

 

Louis raised a hand for himself. “Okay, and for those of us not taking psych classes or therapy: why is that distinction important?”

 

Haru was still busy writing it all down, but she knew. “Scale and magnitude… It’s easier for us to compartmentalize ‘meat’ as ‘just meat,’ expressly because we’re getting less sensory data than him… If you put bloody meat in front of Legosi, his brain isn’t trying to handle ‘meat.’ It’s trying to handle corpses…”

 

Haru tapped at her face, “He sees dead people. With his nose.”

 

Gouhin applauded her twice. “Good work. Someone’s been doing her reading.”

 

The rabbit playfully gave him a salute, “Doing my best, panda sensei!”

 

Gouhin held up a hand, “Okay, that you can stop.”

 

In her mischief, Haru giggled and planned to do no such thing.

 

Legosi, however, was not in a laughing mood. He signed in frustration again, [I can’t be the only wolf with a good nose! Lots of dogs go to the market and don’t pass out!] 

 

Gouhin said right away, “But you’re not like most dogs.” 

 

Gouhin stepped closer and tried to measure his words, “If I asked most dogs, they would not have had such a violent, bloody experience in their childhood - and they also wouldn’t be a mammal-reptile hybrid.”

 

Legosi squeezed his fists and grit his teeth. His body got more tense.

 

The panda sighed and rubbed his forehead. “I really don't want to play that card. I know it’s a sensitive topic. But the fact is your brain and body are hybridized in ways that we can’t explain yet! …Your existence is one big genetic lottery, and maybe you got an extra copy of sensory processing along the way. I’ve been trying to research hybrids, too.”

 

Gouhin showed him his phone like it was proof. It had a few photos. “Other hybrids have reported heightened sensory experiences - hearing more or smelling more than their pure blooded kin… There’s this one doc, he’s part leopard - but his sense of smell is supposedly better than most canids. Legosi, you actually are mostly canid. Your nose might be even better than his.”

 

[Great!] Legosi signed sarcastically. [My nose has a photographic memory. It’s just what I’ve always wanted!]

 

Gouhin did laugh once at that as he put his phone away. “Maybe not, but that nose could still help a lot of people… We can use this…”

……

Riz didn’t like the cafeteria. The noise, the light, all that commotion…

 

Even if he didn’t go into it with a migraine, it often gave him one anyway. 

 

Today was another rough morning. So Riz got a (basic, underwhelming, cardboard-tasting) carnivore lunch and went to eat in a dark stairwell. 

 

The stairwell was in a weird position in relation to the rest of the campus, further out. People rarely used those stairs at all. So it was just Riz, in the dark, with tasteless food and the hope to hear nothing at all.

 

Pina leaned against the guard rail, “So I’ve been thinking…”

 

Riz should have known by now that his hopes were no good.

 

Pina teased him, “My relationship with Ashley ended because of you…”

 

“Not Ashley,” Riz corrected. He shoved another scoop of vegetables into his mouth. He may as well have been eating paper, but at least the mouth feel was a distraction from Pina.

 

Pina rolled his eyes, “Not Ashley. But still at least 50% your fault. You distracted me! So if you think you know so much, you should really give me some tips! Teach me your love ways, upperclassman.”

 

Riz scoffed and stared at him. He shoved his spoon into vegetable mush, “You want love advice to be a better boyfriend?”

 

Pina plopped down onto the stair next to the bear. “I want love advice to stop getting slapped, cause my looks are my only redeeming feature.” Pina held his left cheek, “And if I lose my looks, well, I might as well pack it in! I’d probably sell well at the market though, huh?”

 

Pina elbowed at the bear’s arm. Riz grumbled back, “Well, don’t let me stop you. Maybe ask one of your girlfriends sometime. One of them might care.”

 

Pina murmured and traced his fingers along his horns. “Why does everyone get so upset if you have more than one lover?”

 

Riz shot back, “The number doesn’t matter. Some people are okay with that! The problem is your sincerity. Communication. Do you sincerely care about any of them?”

 

Pina put his arm on the bear’s shoulder, more weight against him. Pina argued, “Everyone has their own definition of what it means to be sincere. I’m sincere about enjoying life! I just don’t see the point of morality.”

 

Pina leaned closer and tugged at the bear’s shirt. “When I’m in the dark with another person like this, just the two of us… if I’m with a girl, I want to kiss her right away… Don’t you have the urge… to devour me right now? I’d forgive you if you did.”

 

Riz pushed the sheep back so hard, Pina hit the wall. Riz yelled, “That? That’s exactly what I’m talking about! What you’re talking about is sexual assault! But you’d get away with it because you’re a pretty male herbivore! You have no clue how privileged you are or how hard it is for everyone else!” 

 

Riz hit his own chest, “Do you honestly think you’re the only person who wants to enjoy life?? We all do! But most of us don’t get the choice to enjoy ourselves because of everything else going on! Because of things we have no control over! All the rules of society which never applied to you!”

 

The bear’s big limbs were getting away from him, gesturing more and more, “I hate being a bear! But I didn’t get a choice! I would love to actually enjoy my life for once, my childhood, to be a kid, to have even a fraction of your health and happiness, but I don’t because I have to take those stupid pills ! But you don’t care! You have people throwing themselves at you because they like the way you look and you can’t even be bothered to know their name! Do you know how much shit they have to go through on a daily basis?! Fuck! Tem is dead and you’re not! There’s nothing to enjoy here! I can’t even taste food and you have the gall to joke about devouring!! Leave me alone and figure things out for yourself, because I spend every day trying not to rip off my own skin!”

 

Riz left fast. End of story. Nothing mattered.

 

Riz didn’t bother to finish his lunch. It was worthless. The school was starving him. The migraine was back and screaming in his head and it was all he could do to close his eyes and keep walking and hope he didn’t run into a wall or small animal.

 

Fireworks in his head, his ears, his eyes. 

 

He wanted to throw up again and was losing his balance.

 

Keep walking. Just keep walking. That’s it. 

……

Put on a smile. Go to class. 

 

Drown yourself in honey and see if you can die from it. No such luck. He only choked once. 

 

Stop scratching your arm. Stop. It’ll bleed. You’ll ruin more clothes. You can’t afford it.

 

Just go to club where you can do one good thing, be mildly useful as a bear. They were supposed to be cleaning the studio this week, and that meant a lot of heavy stuff needed to get moved. The large animals would work on the studio today and the smaller animals would work on it tomorrow.

 

Louis and Dom weren’t exactly the strongest, but they were pitching in, too. Some of them organized things into boxes while the others carried boxes away.

 

Tao was heading towards one side of the room when Bill called out to him. “Hey! Hey, hey, Tao! Careful! The boxes over there are really heavy!”

 

Bill had been trying to be more considerate ever since Legosi gave him that talk.

 

Tao actually laughed though. “Don’t worry about me, dude! I’m not the same kitty as last year!”

 

Tao rolled his sleeve up a bit further and flexed his arm, showing off a surprisingly solid, round bicep. “Legosi knows how to train!”

 

And when Tao started lifting one of the boxes, the weight made his arms flex a bit more. 

 

Dom gave a playful whistle as if to tease the cat. Louis laughed once, “Damn, Tao. You really have been working out!”

 

Bill got a little more flustered, fur a bit fluffier. “What? My arms are bigger than that! You don’t whistle at me!” 

 

Dom was holding a group of pipes and held them in a lewd way. “Well, you just take off your shirt and I’ll whistle at you all you want!”

 

Bill suddenly realized how the tiger sounded and his face heated more. He had to control his tail. “I just mean you can’t measure a carnivore’s strength by its arms! It’s, it’s more than that!”

 

The group chuckled regardless. Riz walked over without thinking. He said, “Yeah, don’t strain yourselves so much. I’m literally right here.”

 

One good thing.

 

Riz was only good for one good thing.

 

Riz took the box from Tao and Tao laughed once. “Thanks, Riz!”

 

Tao shook a slight pump out of his arm, because that box really was heavier than he expected.

 

Riz didn’t have to strain - picking up that box was so easy for him and it showed.

 

Riz heard the others as they tried to compliment him, praising him for a bear’s ‘amazing strength,’ but it felt sour and sick on his tongue. Shallow. No one really meant it. He needed to be drugged every day so he didn’t have accidents.

 

Worthless and pointless.

 

They’d all hate him if they knew. They’d fear him, despise him. He’d be the monster.

 

Fuck. He already was a monster. 

 

They just didn’t know it yet.

 

Theo the hybrid wolf-bear was carrying a box, too. He said, “Wow… I knew you were strong, but you’re still that strong with the pills?”

 

Riz felt something break inside. 

 

Did everyone stop talking at once?

 

Was that silence? Riz was swallowed up inside his head.

 

Tao said, “What? What are you talking about?” Louis asked, “Pills? What pills?”

 

Riz held onto the box like a lifeline and gave as big a smile as he could. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Theo. I don’t take any pills.”

 

The wolf-bear looked even more confused. His ear flicked like Legosi’s would have. “But you’re… I’m still under two meters right now, but you’re…” 

 

More people were paying attention then. Questions followed like static, roaring into Riz’s ear, everything impossible to be heard.

 

A dawning realization showed on Theo’s face and horror came with it. His wolf tail shot upwards.

 

The wolf-bear’s fur bristled and he had to adjust his grip on the box. “S-sorry! Sorry, I’m - I’m - I am an idiot!” Theo hurried to walk away with the box, “Wrong species! I am, I am totally thinking of the wrong species! Haha! Ha. No pills. That’s - I’m - stupid…”

 

Riz stopped hearing. 

 

Everyone was looking. 

 

Everyone.

 

Lips were moving but Riz’s brain was shutting down.

 

Everyone was staring at Riz, Riz was just trying to hold the box in his hands, just smile. 

 

Just smile. Scrunch the eyes shut. Just a smile and no one will worry. No one will think. 

 

No one will -

 

No one will - 

 

“Riz,” Louis’ hand touched the bear’s arm. “What’s going on?”

 

It hurt like fire and Riz recoiled. “It’s nothing!” He didn’t mean to yell. He didn’t mean to lose his smile. He didn’t mean to show his eyes, as exhausted as they were. Pain. He held the box even tighter like a guard, a barrier. It kept his heart inside his chest, scars hidden under the shirt. “It’s nothing! Just… nothing! It’s just, just medicine! That’s all!”

 

So much light and Riz couldn’t stand to see his friends. It hurt. The light hurt. They all hurt.

 

Tao was worried, “Medicine for what? Riz, you never said you were sick.”

 

Riz took another step back. “I’m not! I’m fine! It’s - it’s nothing! That’s all! Just a, a medication!”

 

Bill’s hands were open and reaching out. “Riz, if you’re sick, you can put down the box. Tao and I can carry it together.”

 

“I’m not sick!” Riz insisted and he squeezed the box, too afraid to set it down or let it go. Cardboard crumpled slightly. Could he stop from scratching? “It’s just, just a supplement! An herbal supplement! It’s not important! Can we drop this already??”

 

“No,” Louis replied. Concern was in the deer’s voice and face, “Riz, you are not acting like this is nothing. Legosi was sick for weeks or months and we didn’t see it! And he chose to leave. I don’t want that to keep happening to us. If something’s wrong, if you’re sick and need help, we can help. It’s just cleaning.”

 

Bill kept his hands out and motioned for the box. “We can all help. I know why Legosi left, but I still wish I could have done something. I didn’t want Legosi to leave either.”

 

Aoba stood by the tiger, touched the tiger’s shoulder, “Riz, we’re your friends. You can talk to us. You’re one of us.” 

 

Riz yelled, “No, I’m not!” He dropped the heavy box and it hit the ground like a cannon blast. Riz grabbed his own shirt, “I’m a bear! I’m a big scary bear, and everybody knows it! I'm so scary that I have to take pills from the government! Pills to not scare people!! Herbal fucking supplements that fry my own body from the inside out! So I’m not too strong! So I’m not too scary! So I don’t have accidents! Pills that kill my head and make me hurt all the time and want to kill myself! You don’t want to hear that! None of you! You get to celebrate being strong and I suffer for it every single fucking day!! So no! I am not one of you!”

 

Riz was scratching violently at his head. “I am a stupid bear in a stupid body and it takes everything to even smile!! Pretending to be normal for even five minutes!! And the only person who did care, the only one who noticed, was Tem! And he’s not here anymore! How did you guys move on without him?! He’s dead!! He’s … he’s…” Riz didn’t realize how much he was crying until the tears were falling off his face and he sat down right there. “He’s dead! He’s…”

 

Riz didn’t remember ever crying so much.

 

He wasn’t even sure if it helped when the others touched his shoulder or rubbed his back.

 

He just wanted to stop hurting.

 

He just wanted to stop hurting.

Chapter 53: The disarming conversations

Summary:

-Long chapter is basically a double chapter. Three or four plot lines are finally crashing together.-

An excerpt from Chapter 30:

*

Els smacked the anteater on the shoulder, “Get in line, we’re saving carnivores now.”

Riz stayed still.

Haru went up to the big bear. “How about it, teddy? Feel like saving someone today?”

Everyone was looking at Riz.

Notes:

So the hubby got me a code to the blue sky place? I didn't really have a social media thing before, but I figure I can keep people up to date about the various fics I'm working on, or if something is bogging me down irl.

https://bsky.app/profile/therapybearwriter.bsky.social

 

Adult rhino and buffalo just making pill-free Riz look like a twink...

Even when Riz could talk, he didn’t want to. 

 

He stayed sitting on the ground off to the side, knees bent up closer to his chest. His right hand was covering his eyes, almost squeezing at his own forehead. His left arm hugged his legs like he was trying to curl into a ball.

 

It was far too late to hide the tears, but at least he could hide his eyes and keep from looking at anyone else in the club.

 

He didn’t want to see their pity. Or their fear. Whatever faces they were making by now, all Riz wanted to do was stop existing. 

 

Sometimes when he tried to breathe, his lungs still shook his core.

 

About the only thing that made him feel even marginally better was that another one of the guys was sniffling, too. He could hear it. 

 

I guess that… they miss Tem, too… That would make sense, right?

 

I thought that I… I thought I was the only who cared…

 

Even that twisted inside his head, turned to guilt and shame. 

 

Because if they are grieving Tem, it’s still my fault.

 

It’s all my fault. 

 

And now I’m making it worse by being everyone’s problem.

 

Bill was pacing and outright swore, “This is so fucked up! Riz, why didn’t you say anything?”

 

Why didn’t I keep my mouth shut?

 

Riz didn’t reply. He kept his hand glued over his eyes, only managed another sniffle.

 

Aoba was trying to rub the bear’s shoulder and said, “It’s not his fault. You know exactly why.”

 

But it is. It really is my fault.

 

Isn’t it?

 

I’m the one who …

 

It was just like Legosi and the shock of it still filled Bill’s eyes. He missed it again! Bill was squeezing his fists so tight, “But it’s us! We’re carnivores! Riz, you could have talked to us about this, even if to no one else!”

 

Louis had his smart phone out and was already looking up more information. Behold the wonders of a world online. It didn’t take him long to find certain pages and then the deer’s face twisted in disgust. “Riz, this isn’t an herbal supplement! It’s poison ! It’s literally a neuromuscular poison. To make you weak it attacks the muscles and nerves of your body, which includes your vocal cords and the nerves to your brain! No wonder it causes migraines!”

 

Riz did say it was frying him from the inside out.

 

Back to a different wall, Theo the hybrid bear could list off a bunch of symptoms from memory. He mumbled them downwards like even admitting them out loud could somehow get him in trouble, “L-loss of voice, lethargy, fatigue, l-listlessness, weakness, shortness of breath… all the stuff from migraines like nausea, brain fog, fever, memory problems…” 

 

“…depression, everything that goes with depression like the aches, emptiness, l-lack of sensation or motivation, urge to self harm, confusion, and inability to even feel happiness, pleasure or hope…”

 

Bill swore again, “What the FUCK??”

 

Bill kicked a box so hard, it flew and smacked into a wall. 

 

Aoba was rubbing at the bear’s back and trying to support him, “Riz, these things make you want to kill yourself.”

 

Like I need any help with that…

 

Now Tao was tugging at Bill’s sleeve, looking back and forth between the tiger and the bear, “They can’t get away with this!” The panther kept stammering, “This, this isn’t right! The government can’t, it can’t just force you guys to take something like this!”

 

The usually easy-going Dom was clearly getting mad as well. The peafowl had his arms crossed and softly complained that, “Yeah, they can. People do it all the time - and I don’t even mean for stuff like schizophrenia or anger management.” 

 

Dom started counting feathers like fingers, “Some politicians have done this stuff to women, some places to LGBT, religious groups, or hybrids… minorities they can get away with oppressing. In this case, it’s the bears.”

 

Theo was anxiously fussing with his hands, head bowed so low. “It’s not even all bears… just the ones who grow taller than 2 meters… and there weren’t that many bears to begin with, so it’s not like the popular vote was ever on our side…” 

 

Theo was slouching in on himself, trying to tuck his arms in closer to his body. “Th-they say the side effects go away when you get older, maybe when you’re twenty, but… I don’t know…” Sad and sorry, Theo whispered, “Maybe they just get used to hurting by then…”

 

The panther’s fur was bristling and his tail was straightening up in alarm. Tao squeezed tight at Bill’s arm for support, “Theo, please tell me you don’t have to take these things! You’re not all bear!”

 

Would the government even care about such a detail?

 

Theo swallowed very hard and glanced off to the side. “N-not yet… I’m… I’m s-still under two meters, right now, but… if I grow a little more…”

 

It’s like Theo was trying as hard as he could to do no such thing, to keep as small as possible - maybe even shrink further. “Th-they scare me… a lot… I’ve heard bad things… b-before Riz, I mean…”

 

Considering the extremely high incidence rate of depression in teenagers, Louis didn’t want to think of how many teenage bears were in the exact same place as Riz. Louis was almost scared to look up suicide statistics for the species group. 

 

Louis decided to go straight to a doctor, ringing up Gouhin directly. He held the phone close to his ear even as he informed the group, “Yeah, I know a bear who’s a specialist. I’m getting his ass on this.”

 

Riz sniffled hard and looked up with bleary eyes. “Don’t. You don’t - I’m,” eyes scrunched shut once more cause he was having trouble fitting a sentence together, “I’m fine. There’s nothing-”

 

Three different people replied at once, “You are not fine!” “This is not remotely fine!”

 

Riz hid his face behind his hand again. “There’s no point!! I just, I just have to wait it out! Like Theo said! It’ll go away!”

 

If that was even true.

 

The phone was still ringing in Louis’ hand, but Louis had already made up his mind. “Riz, respectfully: screw waiting. I am a Cherryton Beastar. To lead people and make good social changes is literally in the job description. I am not about to stop helping now. I have contacts. And as soon as that stupid panda picks up, he’ll make everything better.”

 

The phone was still ringing. He wasn’t getting through. Louis grumbled a few curses under his breath.

 

Dom got closer to Louis, “What panda are you talking about?”

 

Louis started tapping his foot impatiently. “A doctor, a … a Beastar connection of mine. He has his own clinic. He does a lot of things off the books, so to speak.”

 

Riz had both hands covering his face by then, grinding palms into his eyes. The best he could do was a whimper, “Please stop. Please. I don’t want to be a problem. This is the burden of being a bear. I don’t want to be a problem.”

 

The call to Gouhin went to voicemail again. Louis grunted angrily and he started calling up a different number. “Tao, go get my jacket out of my locker. I have medicine.”

 

“I’m on it!” Tao replied fast and moved even faster.

 

Aoba looked up from the bear’s side, “What kind of medicine?”

 

Louis’ second call went through and he immediately asked, “Dope, where’s Gouhin?”

 

The lion twigged to that tone right away. “He’s probably working with a client. Is this an emergency?”

 

Dom’s head tilted on his long neck. “Louis has dope ?”

 

Louis glared at him once, covered the mouthpiece and whispered, “It’s his name!” Louis spoke into the phone again, “I’ve got a teenage grizzly bear and the government is making him take poison. He needs something to help fast.”

 

Dope’s brain was stuttering on the other side. “Poison? Call poison control.”

 

Louis complained, “Well, right now I’m calling you - and trying to call Gouhin!”

 

On the other end, the lion sighed heavily. “Louis, I’m not a doctor - and Gouhin’s a psychiatric doctor! I don’t know if he’d even have an answer for a specific poison, but poison control would. Call them, not us! I’ll have Gouhin call you back when he can - but don’t waste time with us if someone is in danger now! We’ve got our own problems!”

 

Dope forced the deer’s hand by hanging up. Louis complained into his phone anyway, “Rude!”

 

Tao had returned with Louis’ jacket by then. The panther started to hand it over, but asked, “What’s rude? What’d I miss?”

 

“My specialist is busy and my second contact is unhelpful. He said to just call poison control.” Louis kept grumbling to himself and tried to check the internet for poison control next. 

 

Riz only raised his voice to stop them from wasting energy. “They’re not going to do anything. They still work for the government - and the government calls it a supplement. They’re just going to say I have to tough it out or take something for the symptoms - and the school nurse never helps with those either! It’s not going to change anything!!”

 

He didn’t mean to yell that last part. His voice got away from him again. 

 

Riz tried to squeeze his stupid brain out of his head cause he couldn’t stop being stupid even now. 

 

He wanted to be done. He wanted to be gone. He wanted every last thing to go away and stop and to never see anyone ever again.

 

They were trying to be nice and he didn’t deserve it.

 

“Okay,” Louis said after a moment. “…Then I’ll just have to change it myself.”

 

Riz only opened his eyes cause he didn’t know what that meant. 

 

You can take the deer out of the drama club, but you can’t take the drama from the deer.

 

Louis retrieved a plastic baggie from his jacket’s inside pocket. There was some kind of damp cloth inside. 

 

Louis showed it to Riz first. “This is a medicine that doctor, the bear, makes to help struggling carnivores. It’s pretty strong, so even as big as you are… it should take the edge off until he gets back to me… I think.”

 

Riz sniffled again, bleary eyes struggling to focus. He started shaking his head automatically, “I don’t want to be a problem. I’m just having a bad day. I’ll get over it.”

 

Bad day, bad week, bad year.

 

Louis knelt down next to the bear and his left hand rubbed at the bear’s wrist. “Riz…” Louis said softly, “you’re allowed to be a problem. …There’s no magical quota of suffering you have to meet to deserve help. You’re hurting. So we want to help.”

 

Riz instinctively wanted to protest again - that he didn’t deserve help and he did deserve to suffer. He wanted to argue, but that would just make things even worse for them.

 

He didn’t know what to say anymore. So he kept his eyes shut and just tried to wish himself out of existence.

 

Louis opened the plastic bag. He held onto the cloth through the plastic, but pulled the edges of the bag down so part of the cloth was exposed to air. “Aside from those pills, have you taken anything else in the last 24 hours?”

 

Riz grimaced and shook his head again.

 

Louis brought the cloth closer to the bear’s mouth, saying, “Then this should be okay… I think…” 

 

At least Louis very much hoped it would help. When the mind and body are screaming with so much noise, a sedative of the right dose can help turn down the volume. Yet Louis had to admit, “I’m not a doctor, but until he gets back to me this is the best I have. And he’s taught me how to use this for other people. So… just keep breathing, okay? Deep breaths… That’s all… This stuff is pretty strong, so it won’t take long to help.”

 

Riz sniffled again when he tried to take such a breath. He nodded, but was back to covering his eyes, keep from looking.

 

“Deep breaths,” Louis encouraged him, holding the cloth just shy of the bear’s face. “That’s all you have to do now… Just breathe… Tell me when you start getting sleepy, okay?”

 

Another silent nod. But as exhausted as Riz already felt, he didn’t expect that to take long. 

 

Louis used his other hand to call another number on speed dial. Haru picked up much quicker than Dope and Louis asked, “Hey, is Legosi with you?”

 

She must have heard the tension in his voice. “Yeah, we’re gardening. What’s up? Where are you?”

 

“Drama club building, cleaning, medical stuff came up,” Louis rattled off fast. “You have anything for a migraine?” 

 

Haru replied, “Not specifically… Legosi is asking if you’re alright.” 

 

Louis watched the bear’s face as Riz began to breathe slower, exhausted eyes opening the tiniest crack. 

 

Louis answered, “I’m okay… but Riz isn’t… and I could use some backup from you both.” 

……

The loud cafeteria crowd couldn’t stop Kibi from raising his voice. “Since when!?”

 

Suddenly Kibi didn’t feel like eating dinner.

 

Tao was trying to keep his own voice soft, but he was still spreading the word. “It’s been going on for a while, but like nobody knows about it. We practically had to twist Riz and Theo’s arms to even get that much.”

 

Kibi rubbed at his own shoulder, conflict all over his face. 

 

Els was worried and leaned closer, “Why didn’t he say anything? If he’s been in pain this whole time-”

 

She didn’t need to finish before Aoba answered, “Because he gave up . …The school nurses barely provide any meds without explicit parental consent, and it’s been beaten into his head for so long that he’s just ‘a dangerous monster,’” Aoba very expressly used air quotes for that, “that he needs to be poisoned to be ‘safe.’ He didn’t want us to think that of him, too.”

 

Practically standing from her chair, Els protested, “But it’s Riz . He’s a great guy! He’s always been a good friend.”

 

Kibi tugged at the panther’s sleeve and insisted, “He’s always helped out around the club. He should have known we wouldn’t be like that.”

 

Now it was Tao’s turn to glance away. “No offense, but it’s easy for you guys to say that. We’re carnivores. You’re not… You have no idea how easy it is for people to hate us, or how fast they could turn on us.”

 

“One little accident,” Bill softly complained. “That’s all it takes for us to get the boot or a record. A carnivore could get expelled for even baring their fangs at an herbivore. When Tem died, Ellen goaded me into doing that and she’s in the club with us. …I’m,” the tiger self-consciously scratched at the base of his neck, “I’m not surprised he’s been bottling this up for so long…”

 

The thoughts kept turning and twisting in Bill’s mind and he hated himself for not realizing it sooner.

 

Kibi kept rubbing at his shoulder like an old injury was bothering him, trying to roll it around. “Where is he now? What are we supposed to do now??”

 

Aoba finished a bite of food then answered. “Sleeping in the club office, last we saw. Nobody wanted him to be alone, but Legosi and Haru came over to help, too. …Apparently their secret Beastar job involves some kind of medical specialist and they’re calling in a favor…”

 

Aoba’s voice dipped lower to a whisper and the herbivores leaned closer to him, “But after dinner, Louis figured that …”

……

Riz was still groggy when he got his eyes open. 

 

The big chair in the club office wasn’t a good bed for a bear, but the group very expressly didn’t want him to be alone or go far. He had a comfy blanket around his shoulders to support his head and neck and the chair was partially leaned back.

 

The overhead light was turned off to make it a bit easier on his rest, but the door was ajar and let a crack of light inside. Carnivores didn’t need much light to begin with.

 

Still, as Riz looked around, he didn’t expect to see Legosi on the other side of the room. 

 

The glow of his smartphone made the wolf’s face shine in the dark. Legosi gave him a big smile and a friendly wave.

 

In that moment, Riz didn’t really need to squint. “What are you doing here?”

 

Legosi pointed at his own eyes and then at the bear. Legosi was very much smiling on purpose for wordless affection and reassurance.

 

“Watching me?” Riz gradually sat up further. 

 

Legosi nodded, then took something golden out of a nearby backpack. Riz recognized the honey bottle for what it was even before Legosi stood up and held it out to him.

 

Even when Legosi stood near, the bear kept his hands to himself. “…What's that for?”

 

[For you,] Legosi signed and pointed between the bear and the bottle. [You like it. I know you’re hurting. So I thought you’d like this.]

 

Riz seemed reluctant to take it and looked away. “I’m always hurting. That’s not new.”

 

[It's new,] Legosi signed, [that I know.]

 

Legosi stayed warm and offered the honey bottle again. 

 

Muscles around the bear’s eyes started to tense again, but from confusion, not pain. “Sorry,” Riz mumbled. “I’m only catching half of this. Tem only taught me a little sign. But, no, thank you.”

 

Legosi started to sign, [It’s okay,] but he wasn’t sure if Riz would know that either. The wolf gave him a thumbs up instead, then made a show of opening the protective seal on the honey. He wanted him to know it was safe; no tampering. Legosi happily handed it towards Riz again.

 

It put the tiniest smile on the bear’s lips. But Riz rubbed at his whole face as if to make the smile go away. “Yeah, I know you’re not deaf. You can hear me saying no, you just aren’t taking no for an answer.”

 

The wolf’s tail wagged a few times. Legosi smirked so wide and playfully signed, [Yes! Now take it.]

 

The bear sighed in fake protest. He kept glancing away, “Fine… you win.”

 

Legosi’s tail wagged quite a bit faster then. 

 

The wolf still wasn’t expecting Riz to drink the honey like a bottle of water. The bear first took a few testing sips, and that quickly turned into guzzling half the bottle outright.

 

Legosi used the time to write a quick message in his smart phone, and then showed it to Riz. {I didn’t know Tem taught you any sign.}

 

The bear gave a meager shrug. “Wasn’t really teaching, I guess. He signed with you all the time in club. I just… wondered what you two were saying and he told me some words.”

 

The wolf’s tail slowed down and his ears drooped the slightest bit. [You two were close.]

 

From what Legosi heard of the bear’s earlier breakdown, it wasn’t much of a question, but Riz nodded anyway. 

 

Legosi hesitated to write the next part, but he chose to show it to Riz eventually. {There were times I could smell you’d been around each other. Wolf nose, you know? But I never saw you together in the club, so… I figured it wasn’t important. I’m sorry. Maybe I should have said something sooner.}

 

The bear gave an even more awkward shrug of those weighted shoulders, first one then the other. Even that act made him look broken. “I don’t know… I mean, it was important to me… but I don’t think it was important to him… He liked Els…” 

 

Riz let his gaze settle on the honey bottle for a moment. “The other herbivores would give him so much shit if they found out he was spending private time with me… He didn’t care about it, but I did… I didn’t want that for him…” An eye was leaking again and Riz had to rub at it. “Sorry. I’m having a really bad day.”

 

Legosi tried to give him an understanding smile, the silent sympathy of it. He gently touched at the bear’s hand and squeezed it once. [It's okay.] He started to sign, [We all have bad days.] But Legosi didn’t know if Riz understood enough of those signs either, so Legosi typed it out just to be certain.

 

Riz looked at the screen, then he just sucked a little more on the honey bottle. 

 

{It’s okay if you need to cry. Nothing wrong with that…} Legosi kept writing to make the parallel obvious, {but if it makes you feel better, you showed up to help me on the second worst day of my life… I’m pretty sure I cried that day myself.}

 

Riz read that next, but the more he woke up, the clearer his confusion was. “Second worst? I… I don’t know what you mean by that.”

 

The wolf gave a few puffy exhales, the closest he could come to laughing at himself. He tugged down the usual scarf he wore and pointed at the scars on his neck.

 

Riz swallowed hard and had to resist holding his own neck in reply. “…Yeah, I can see how that day would be the worst…”

 

Legosi fixed his scarf back in place, then hurried to type. {Yeah, it’s hard to top getting my throat ripped out. But I got kidnapped by lions that one night. You showed up with Louis and the others, my grandpa had to bail me out… It was mortifying. I was white. Don’t ask why.}

 

“Oh…” Riz shifted awkwardly in the chair as he remembered that dreadful evening. “That…” The bear lowered his gaze and rubbed at his eyes. “You don’t owe me anything for that. If that’s your only reason, you should head out already. I’m not worth your time.”

 

[I think you are,] Legosi signed so easily.

 

[No, I’m not!] Riz signed back to argue. [I didn’t go to help you! I went there to die!]

 

There was a crunch and a rattle, and then the world chose silence once more.

 

Their lungs made noise even if nothing else did. 

 

Sensitive but uncertain, Legosi looked at him, […I think you used the wrong signs.]

 

Now Riz really did want to grab at his own neck. Now he was even upsetting Legosi! Riz grasped tight to his left wrist to keep himself from scratching. His voice ached to say this out loud, “I wanted… to be done… I wanted to stop hurting… We all figured you got kidnapped by gangsters… Gangsters have guns … Sheila said it was suicide and I knew she was right…”

 

“…and that rabbit asked me if I felt up to saving someone and I’ve never been able to help anyone, but I still thought… I thought maybe it was my chance to actually do something good in the end… They’d shoot me first… and the club could use that time to run away…”

 

The half-empty honey bottle had fallen on the floor at some point. Riz used his foot to roll it towards the wolf. “So it’s like I said… I’m not worth your time. Even going to help you was still… just selfish of me…”

 

The wolf’s face was emotionally flat. A certain shimmer was in his eyes, but not one that Riz could notice or understand.

 

Legosi didn’t know if there was a sign or a word for this sensation, nostalgia gone reflective, introspective, and yet somehow seeing it again before his very eyes…

 

Legosi had stared at himself in a mirror so many times, but this was the first time his reflection looked like Riz.

 

Trapped in a lion’s den, Legosi had been ready to give up just like that…

*

My life has been one long string of ache and heartache, and fights I was always doomed to lose. 

 

I've always been … dead on arrival. 

 

Ending up as a lion’s dinner just makes sense. My throat has been waiting a long time for a big cat to finish what that tiger started.

 

I should have died back then.

 

It would have been easier.

 

It’s so hard, trying to fight all the time… And for what?

 

I want it to be over. 

 

I want to stop fighting, I want to be done.

 

I want this ache to leave.

 

Just kill me already. I want to go…

*

…Second worst night of my life, but I made it to another day.

 

I can still remember the feeling of it in my bones, being ready to surrender, to give up, to let all the bad voices win…

 

…to succumb to every horrible thing trying to crush me down…

 

…but I had Haru…

 

…I had Louis, and mom, and grandpa. I had Jack and my therapist and even Gouhin…

 

…I had people who loved me and supported me and that gave me the strength to keep fighting…

 

…but Tem is gone now… so… does Riz have anyone at all?

 

The wolf’s big hand slowly reached down for the honey bottle and picked it up. 

 

He looked at it for a second and wondered… 

 

Legosi took another deep breath. He signed first, [I need one minute, okay? I need to write this.]

 

Riz might not have understood all those signs, but he got the gist. “…A minute? Sure… Take your time…”

 

Legosi had to type very fast and he was frequently correcting words here or there. He prayed he was explaining this right, that all his experiences in therapy could make a bit of difference for Riz.

 

{Riz… what you were just saying, that’s depression talking. Clinical depression. Maybe even trauma. I know because I’ve been there. I’ve had that voice in my head. It’s made the same arguments. I heard about the pills. I know they give you depression, and clinical depression changes the way your brain works.}

 

{It alters your perceptions, even your personality. It makes you feel unworthy. It can even make you angry or upset all the time, because the brain is already drowning in stress. Even if you were the best, kindest, most wonderful person on the whole planet, it makes you feel like shit for even existing.} 

 

{It discounts every good thing you do or twists it to make it look bad - just like you were doing now. Our brains are chemical and those bad chemicals force our brains to think about all the bad instead. It’s like there’s no reason to hope, no way to win, and you just want the pain to stop.}

 

{Some people will do anything to stop hurting.}

 

{I’ve been there, Riz. And people helped me and I got out. …You can get out, too. We want to help you , too, and you don’t have to do anything to deserve that. …Just let us help.}

 

Riz sniffled more noisily. He had to wipe his nose on the back of his hand. “I don’t know if that’s possible.”

 

[I do know,] Legosi signed as positively as he could, all warmth and compassion.

 

Legosi reached into his own pocket then and offered him a clean handkerchief.

 

The weak bear didn’t have the will to keep arguing or protesting. He accepted the handkerchief and tried to do something about his stupid nose or his eyes.

 

Then, from another pocket, Legosi took out a familiar baggie with its medicated cloth inside. He held it up and showed it to Riz, signing that, [Louis said this helped you. Did it?] He nodded his head to make the question obvious, [Yes?] Legosi shook his head after that, [No?] 

 

“A little,” Riz mumbled in defeat. 

 

Because maybe… just maybe… there were certain things Riz didn’t have to fight.

 

Accepting help was one of them.

 

The wolf’s tail began wagging fast again. Then he opened the bag and handed it to Riz. [If it helped earlier… then that’s a good sign already.]

*

The sedative helped. It was vastly far from ideal. Sharing meds - especially if you’re not fully aware of their medical history - is extremely dicey at best, possibly illegal, and something you do not want to risk.

 

But on this terrible afternoon, as fucked up as Riz’s life was, Louis and Legosi had few options left open.

 

The sedative took the edge off and Riz didn’t feel like hurting anymore. The sharpness of his self-hate was distant and dull.

 

He’d been getting texts every so often while he was asleep. He didn’t think the others even had his phone number, but maybe one of the club leaders shared it.

 

They were trying to be supportive, a bunch were outraged on his behalf, but he didn’t know how to feel anymore.

 

He didn’t even think that was the sedative. He’d been so overwhelmed and now he just… felt burnt out everywhere.

 

Legosi kept looking up at him, silent and encouraging, but the wolf was trying to coordinate something else by smart phone.

 

Eventually there was a knock at the slightly-open door. Legosi and Riz both looked up as Louis entered through it. 

 

The bear glanced down at the bagged cloth in his hand and slowly took another sniff, assuming the pair would be taking it away now.

 

Louis kept his voice soft, “We have a car coming to pick us up in an hour. The specialist can fit you in then - no charge, no insurance needed. …I didn’t want to break into your phone while you were asleep, but I figured you might want to give your parents a heads up.”

 

The bear mumbled without looking up, “Parents… yeah… that’s… funny.”

 

There was something so loaded in that statement, but Louis wasn’t sure he should dig any further after what happened earlier.

 

Instead Louis carefully said, “…I’d like you to be there for something else first, if you don’t mind going for a walk with us to the carnivore dorm.”

 

Riz was distinctly avoiding the deer’s gaze. “I don’t want to be a bother.”

 

“Bother me, Riz.” Louis held out his hand with just a hint of playfulness, “…I want you to bother me… It’s what I’m here for… and we want you to come with us.”

……

Kibi was panting his way up the stairs. “When you said … this was on the roof… I didn’t realize there were so many stairs…”

 

He was using the railing for support, but it’d already been a long day. Kibi had to roll his shoulder again.

 

Tao stopped to look back, “How many did you think there were? Aren’t our dorms the same height?”

 

The anteater stopped to breathe and sighed heavily. “Well, I don’t make a habit of climbing all those stairs either!”

 

Tao started to reach for the anteater, “Do you need a hand? You keep rubbing that shoulder.”

 

Kibi grumbled, “No, it’s fine. Just slept on it funny, I guess.” He sarcastically held out his arms, “But if you want to carry me the rest of the way, be my guest.”

 

Before the panther could say yes or no, quick Legosi scooped up the anteater and jumped several steps at a time. Kibi nearly had a heart attack and grabbed at Legosi’s wrists in alarm. The wolf had already carried him up another flight when Kibi protested, “Joking!! I was joking!”

 

Some of the club had a giggle at that. Haru cackled in delight. Riz was trudging along behind Louis, but he might have smiled - for a second.

 

Sheila, Bill, Aoba, and Juno and a few other members of the club were already a bit ahead but slowed down for the others. Mina the giraffe and Moro the rhino were pulling up the rear, and so was Fudge the red panda.

 

The goat, Els, was near Louis and Riz. She playfully complained, “Aww, no one told me about the carnivore elevator service. Bill, why didn’t you carry me up?”

 

Bill stopped climbing stairs and complained for real, “Rex, I cannot begin to tell you how bad it would look if the giant male tiger carried away a young female herbivore . Just shoot me now.”

 

For a moment there, Riz almost offered to help her himself.

 

But they were nearly at the top and Riz would have preferred fading into the background. Els even gave the bear a hug when they gathered out front of the carnivore dorm, but Riz couldn’t manage to say much beyond ‘thanks.’

 

It was all just so highly irregular… Herbivores almost never even entered this dorm, much less went to the roof. A bunch of carnivore students usually gathered up there in the evening just so they could be by themselves. They could talk about carnivore things without herbivores being around, hang out, maybe fit in a bit of moonlight time…

 

The bear didn’t know what the plan was supposed to be, but he was done asking questions for now. 

 

Soon enough Sheila and Bill were opening the door to the roof. The stair-climbing drama club could hear the quiet carnivore chatter above, some chuckling and the like.

 

Kibi wanted a slight moment to catch his breath, so Legosi followed after the others.

 

Someone cheered, “Wolf Demon in the house!!” Then there was a sudden bout of laughter.

 

Trying to repress a smile, Legosi huffed once and waved it aside.

 

But as quickly as they got excited, the roof crowd got quiet instead. Louis, Haru, Dom and some of the other drama club herbivores were following Legosi.

 

“Whoa.” “Hey!” “What the-??” “Dude.”

 

Louis adjusted the fit of his jacket by the front. “Settle down, settle down. No one’s in trouble. Legosi just asked us for our assistance, and then we’ll leave.”

 

Legosi’s presence gave the proceedings more legitimacy. ‘The Guardian Demon of Cherryton’ did have quite a rep by that point.

 

Riz didn’t go much further beyond the door itself. He leaned back against the wall next to it, hands loosely in his pockets.

 

A few people were already complaining or asking what this was about. A few more were expressly trying to hide behind rooftop machinery or even a larger student - like a lizard behind a huge saltwater crocodile. The croc was over two meters tall himself, and there was a cat hiding behind another bear like Riz.

 

Above the building’s internal stairwell was another landing, and several took the narrow stairs to get up there and further out of sight. 

 

Most of the students were just grumbling, afraid to speak aloud as if they were caught doing something wrong…

 

…Nothing illicit was actually going on though. Some of the carnivores were sharing bags of snacks or bottled drinks. Some had been playing cards or watching videos with each other on their phones. A few might have started subtly recording Louis, Legosi and the others, but that wasn’t unheard of for the rising Beastars.

 

Legosi stood right next to Louis and tried to look stern. He’d leave the real acting to Louis, but he signed a few sentences - that he wanted people to listen to Louis. 

 

A lot of the school already knew that Louis was his interpreter. 

 

Yet… if they were being recorded, well, maybe Louis should say a bit more…

 

The red deer raised his voice like this was any other stage, “We’ll try to make this quick. A few hours ago Legosi and I heard about something barbaric being forced on large carnivore students… We don’t want to name names. We don’t want to name species. Let’s treat them with respect… But when we heard it, we knew we had to do something ASAP and a lot of carnivores gather up here around this time.”

 

Riz nearly stopped him right there. Barbaric ? Where was Louis going with this? The bear almost spoke up - but his fear of attracting attention was still just as strong and kept Riz paralyzed against the wall.

 

Louis reached into his jacket pocket and held up the sort of small box usually used for medicine. “This is billed as an ‘herbal strength suppressant.’ Look at it. Pass it around.”

 

A grim expression was on Legosi’s face, but he moved fast. He took it from Louis and handed it off to the nearest group of carnivores. Legosi tapped the list of side effects to make a point and he was so intense about it that they obeyed.

 

He also took a few more sniffs at the air. Then he returned to Louis’ side.

 

Meanwhile Louis kept talking, “Take note of all the side effects… the way it attacks the nerves and muscles in the body, even your vocal chords… because this shit right here is a neuromuscular poison.”

 

The crowd raised a few more questions. The tension was building along with the confusion. 

 

The red deer raised a hand to ask for another moment. “There is nothing medicinal, herbal or supplementary about this.” 

 

Haru had already been distributing handfuls of note cards to the members of the drama club that came with them. She spoke up then, “Yeah, this isn’t even a case where dosage is the difference between medicine and poison. It’s a poison intended to hurt big carnivores. End of story.” 

 

Legosi pointed at her several times while giving a thumbs up. Haru kept distributing cards while Louis continued on, “…And the reason we’re bringing this up… is because our government is legally forcing large carnivores to poison themselves with this shit every day. …They made it a crime for carnivores to grow too big!”

 

More than one person swore out loud. Angry carnivores are not quiet. Sheila and Bill were trying to tell people to listen. Even Legosi had to clap extremely loud for the crowd to quiet back down.

 

Riz felt his wrists shaking and gripped them tightly behind his back, against the wall and out of sight. Nervous eyes kept glancing at the other bear on the roof, the knot forming in his throat. The other bear was going cold.

 

The red deer looked just as angry as the other carnivores. Louis forced his hands into his pockets to hide his clenching fists, “Yeah! Me, too! I’m pissed off that this ever passed a courtroom, but apparently it’s been going on for years! I’m not going to mince words: that is so screwed up!!”

 

Louis turned to the other drama club herbivores, “Mina, are giraffes forced to take these pills?”

 

The giraffe decidedly shook her head - long neck swaying like a wave, “No! And we’re bigger than everybody! We’re always bumping into people or breaking things - even each other’s necks - but we don’t get drugged over it!”

 

Without being asked, Moro the rhino crossed her arms and snorted angrily. “And I know I’m short, I haven’t finished growing, but rhinos are some of the strongest, toughest animals around. We can get bigger and stronger than - most carnivores !” She very nearly said ‘bears,’ but she caught herself just in time. “Still not drugged for it!”

 

Even little Els was stomping her foot in agreement, joining and encouraging the crowd. 

 

Louis held out his hands, “When I became your Beastar, I said that I wanted to do right by all of you - that I wanted to be better than who I was yesterday.” He motioned behind him, “And yesterday I didn’t know this was going on!”

 

Louis pointed far away towards the lights of the city center, “Because the government has already beaten down one group of carnivores like this, to the point that they don’t even argue it anymore! They’re convinced that no one cares, or that them constantly suffering is somehow the right thing for everyone! That if people actually heard what the government was doing to these carnivores, it would make people even more scared of them - instead of the government that’s poisoning them!”

 

Yafya was going to hate this so much, but Louis didn’t even care.

 

The deer’s snout wrinkled like a carnivore and he outright swore, “Well, screw that! And if the government is already doing this to one minority, Legosi and I had to ask ourselves: what else are they doing ?? Who else is the government screwing over behind closed doors? We know how hard it is for hybrids! And how many others are out there that can’t speak up because of laws like this? And who is the government targeting next ?”

 

Theo the hybrid wolf-bear gave a slight squeeze to Riz’s shoulder. It almost startled the bigger bear. Riz didn’t even notice him arrive, so absorbed by what the others were saying. For a moment Riz’s eyes opened wide and he was just looking at Theo - uncertain and barely daring to hope.

 

After Legosi got a few note cards from Haru, he held them up high to the crowd. He pointed at the cards and then at himself. He huffed as loud as he could, a sharp breath, eyes fierce and tail determined. He gestured for Haru to speak the next part.

 

Calm Haru kept her cool better than the passionate deer. She said, “So we’re going to fight this - and stuff like this - but we need to get more people involved. Legosi and Louis can do a lot on their own, but they can’t do it all - especially if more people are afraid to speak up…”

 

“…but we also know that herbivores have messed with carnivores a lot , and you might not feel comfortable trusting herbivores with this stuff… but you all know Legosi… He’s one of you.”  

 

Legosi tapped the cards toward the crowd again, and then he started passing out multiple cards to each person. Every so often, Legosi sniffed at the air again.

 

Holding one of the cards herself, Haru kept explaining, “…Legosi wants you all to take a few of these cards. Hand them out to other carnivores around the school, maybe even some herbivores you trust…” 

 

“…On each card you’ll find a special email address that Legosi set up just for this. He’s the only one with access to that account…” 

 

“…So if you or another carnivore you know is dealing with this sort of thing, or you want to get involved, you can trust you’ll have confidentiality - and that it’s a friendly carnivore hearing it first.”

 

The supportive members of the drama club then started passing cards out to the carnivores in turn. 

 

Legosi waved his hand at Louis for attention, then the wolf signed at him to interpret.

 

“…Heh!” An amused Louis shook his head, then he relayed the message, “Yeah, Legosi says that when it comes to people’s secrets, he’s really good at keeping quiet! …And yes, he says that was a joke.”

 

The wolf gave a particularly proud-looking smirk, tail swishing behind him. 

 

Legosi gave a big thumbs up, then playfully tugged his scarf like he was making it tighter - a comedic gesture of cutting off his voice. 

 

Then he signed a few more things himself. Louis kept interpreting and the two went back and forth, [We want to hear more from you all - and everyone here deserves to be heard more as well.]

 

[So if you don’t have a voice, or you know someone else who doesn’t, then write to us. We’ll speak with you - and if you’re afraid to speak up for yourself, then we’ll speak for you.] 

 

[You don’t have to suffer in silence anymore.]

 

Louis added a final joke for himself, “and when Gon gets back to his office in the morning, I am going to give him such a headache!”

 

A few clapped, a few hollered, some even laughed. 

 

Far away, Principal Gon sneezed at home and wondered why he suddenly felt endangered.

*

If nothing else, they wanted to get the ball rolling. Riz thought everything was over and decided and there was no point in hoping for better - and Legosi and Louis both wanted to prove that wrong. Making a statement like this felt like a good place to start.

 

Thank you, Haru, for providing logic and logistics to your very emotional boyfriends.

 

Because the fact was… Riz needed a whole lot of medical help… and after all their work with Gouhin, the whole trio knew that included his mind and body…

 

…but sometimes the best therapy is radical systemic change .

 

You gotta get someone out of the fire before they can heal the burns.

 

Riz had to step aside for a moment and rub his eyes. Theo stayed near him, trying to seem casual so people wouldn’t pay them too much attention, but Theo had been affected as well.

 

The pills were a nightmare racing for Theo with every passing month, and for once he felt the nightmare freeze in its approach.

 

Meanwhile the trio and the supportive members of the club were still passing out cards and talking around the roof. A number of carnivores were quick to provide their own email addresses. They wanted to get involved and they didn’t mind if it was someone like Haru or Legosi recording it.

 

The fact that herbivores went this far probably incited them to action, and so did Legosi. If Cherryton’s Guardian Demon and the Cherryton Beastar were both making waves, well, then this must be big.

 

Even more carnivores were joining them up there on the roof. Their friends had already been texting them, relaying what happened and what was going on. 

 

A number of people realized it was the bears, but they were trying to be respectful (for the most part). A few went over to whisper their support anyway.

 

Riz, Theo, and the other bears were self-conscious enough. Even the small carnivores were used to herbivore prejudice, and almost no one knew the bears were being attacked like this behind the scenes.

 

Some people were just using the opportunity to see Legosi. It wasn’t like Legosi had been explicitly avoiding people, but he had been awfully busy over the last few months! Some even knew he was doing a secret Beastar job with Louis and kept wondering what it meant for the wolf.

 

If Legosi really kept doing all these things… well, it just sounded an awful lot like the Wolf Demon would be an official Beastar soon as well.

 

Sometimes Louis would interpret for him, but Legosi was quite capable of typing a message on his phone. The carnivore students were intrigued in what Legosi had to say and seemed more patient as a result.

 

But every so often Legosi sniffed at the air and rubbed at his nose. Haru asked him at one point, “Something wrong with your sniffer, big guy?”

 

He signed [no] quickly enough, but his face - and his ears - were more uncertain. [I’m fine. I think.]

 

Haru reached into her pack of things, “Well, you’re always giving me your handkerchiefs! You can have this one back. I never used it.”

 

[I’m fine, thank you.] The big wolf smiled and snorted once. 

 

He felt like something was bothering his nose, but it was just that - a vague feeling. Maybe it was just all the chatty, open-mouthed felines and their saliva. He thought he was over that.

 

Near the door to the stairwell, a loud group of carnivores began hollering.

 

Legosi turned to face the noise - and then almost immediately rolled his eyes. His mouth hung open. A groan would have gone perfectly with that expression.

 

Several members of the fencing team had arrived, including the swoopy-haired lion and the perky fox who loved to bake. Some of them even brought their gear in duffel bags. “Wolf Demon!” “Big D!”

 

Unable to grumble, Legosi leveled them all with a hard, disapproving glare. [What are you guys doing now?]

 

That time, Haru spoke for him.

 

Some of the fencing team stayed by the door, but most went halfway towards the wolf and then cut a quick bow. Several tried to talk at once, “Legosi, please!” “You’ve used real swords!” “We know you’re fast!” “Please join us already!”

 

Old Louis would have barked at them to back off immediately. This time Louis looked to the wolf instead and asked, [Want me to get rid of them?]

 

Legosi kept glaring at them just to make a point. [No. I’ll handle it. …But if you don’t mind being my voice…]

 

Louis signed happily, [I haven’t so far.] 

 

Haru had been learning a lot, but she still wasn’t fluent.

 

A quick smile tugged at Legosi’s lips, then the wolf stepped closer to the team. [Guys, I thought you were done with this. I don’t like competitive sports. I’m in the garden club.]

 

(He was also supposed to be doing normal teenage things, but hey! Complaining about government and challenging authority are totally on brand for teenagers. Leano couldn’t hold that against him, right?)

 

The begging began again in earnest. The canid fencers were trying to lean into the puppy dog eyes and everything. 

 

Legosi crossed his arms and tapped his foot on the ground as they did so. But then a few of the crowd were encouraging Legosi to join them as well. Haru giggled to herself, Louis had a single smirk.

 

The wolf just rolled his eyes. Legosi unfolded his arms to sign, [The answer is no. It will always be no. Yeah, I know how to use a sword, but fencing is a very specific, structured form of that. My skills aren’t translatable.]

 

Then there was even more groaning. From out of a duffel bag, the perky fox took out a box of homemade baked goods and opened them up. “But you haven’t even tried the cookies!”

 

Legosi’s sniffer did enjoy the smell of those…

 

Not for the first time, Legosi thought that baker was wasted in the fencing team. 

 

Legosi’s dark expression wavered only a little. [I will have one cookie. But I’m not joining the team.]

 

The fox grinned in victory nonetheless and handed him three, just in case more cookies would sway him. 

 

The others, however, were still groaning. One of the fencers complained, “Awww, come on, Demon! We know you’re training Tao and Aoba!”

 

Legosi’s head swiveled over to the panther’s direction. [Oh, really? And how would they have heard that?]

 

The fearful panther tugged at the neck of his shirt. Tao started speaking loud then got soft midway, “I for one would have never … mentioned it twice…”

 

Aoba covered his face with a wing and sighed.

 

Oh yeah, Legosi definitely rolled his eyes at that. But now he had cookies in hand and those were a better distraction. He sniffed the first cookie and took a bite out of it. 

 

Haru was back to logging emails already. Louis was chuckling, but Legosi wanted to fight his own battle and they let him. 

 

The begging and wheedling continued on. Some of the crowd got louder, some began chanting, peer pressure trying to make a dent in Legosi’s will… 

 

Well, the peer pressure was ineffective, but the cookie was actually really good. He handed one to Louis and saved the third for Haru.

 

And because Legosi didn’t have to worry about talking with food in his mouth, he could sign for Louis.

 

[…but… considering how good these are… I guess if you give me more of these cookies, I’ll … spar with you once or something…]

 

By the time Louis finished relaying that, a huge cheer went up. There was laughter, yelling, the big crocodile was even frothing at the mouth and grabbing his lizard friend in excitement. The lizard tried to push him off, “Dude, chill, it’s not that crazy.”

 

The fencing fox looked ever so blessed in that moment. He held his box of baked goods in radiant happiness. So honored!

 

A bunch of people were breaking out their phones to record the imminent duel, or opening new snacks, new drinks. Legosi handed the third cookie to Haru.

 

Legosi didn’t really mean for the sparring to be that split second, but apparently the rooftop carnivores wanted a show. The fencing team hurried to get the fox geared up and several more were trying to give armor to Legosi. 

 

They got the protective jacket on him and the gloves, too. He didn’t care much about the pants. He thought that might be a little much. He did accept a helmet, but Legosi didn’t put it on yet.

 

Legosi sniffed at the air again. Amid all the talk and all the chatter, amid the crowd, the snacks, the scent of several dozen students and all the new smells, Legosi was trying to focus. 

 

What is that?

 

Something was nagging at the back of his mind. Something so faint, but somehow familiar.

 

Something his brain did not like…

 

The croc’s friend kept trying to push him off, “Dude, chill out. Dude, come on! Dude, that-”

 

Four things happened almost simultaneously. 

 

The croc’s lizard friend screamed in bloody anguish, an arm torn clear off. 

 

Legosi was already moving, already throwing the helmet as hard as he could to knock an energy drink out of someone else’s hand.

 

Then he was crashing straight into the croc’s stomach, so hard and so fast that the croc couldn’t swallow; the bloody arm went flying through the air.

 

Wolf and croc hit the ground together, and Legosi promptly prioritized threats: huge jaws, clawed hands.

 

Half the world froze and the other half were trying to catch up, slow to what was happening. Several more screamed when they realized.

 

Legosi was turning and grappling with the huge crocodile on the ground, trying to keep its jaws shut with his legs - jaws growing ever more wild with drool - and grabbing the croc’s wrists with his own wolf hands. But the croc had twice the mass on Legosi and was trying to roll them on the rough floor.

 

Eyes wide, Louis and Haru caught on first. Their bodies burst to action. Louis shouted, “Shit! It’s Bloodbone!” 

 

But not the same Bloodbone! Something was different, some chemical, something changed just enough in the drink that it threw off Legosi’s nose.

 

Haru was already bouncing so fast, slapping every energy drink out of carnivore hands, “Drinks down! Drinks down, they’ve been spiked!”

 

Rushing to help Legosi, Louis was scrambling for something in his pockets - he found his gun, but not the cloth. Fear spiked in Louis instead. He didn’t have it! Who did right now, was it Legosi or-?

 

Louis turned back to yell, “Riz!”

 

The bear had already been running and passing Louis, already joining the fray with Legosi. 

 

Riz caught the twisting croc, bear strength added to Legosi’s. They pinned the croc flat together, but the huge reptile was still thrashing like crazy. Food so near! Food right here!

 

Louis got close and hit the ground just so he could raid Legosi’s pockets, “Where’s the cloth? Who’s got the cloth??”

 

Wrestling, straining, Riz was gritting his teeth and answered, “His left pocket!” But things were happening so fast and Louis already found the bag. He ripped the plastic open and tried to get it over the croc’s nose.

 

The croc was still throwing himself every which way, but more of the crowd were following the trio’s lead. Louis struggled to keep the cloth in place and yelled a command, “Do not hurt him! He’s been drugged! This is not his fault! We need one minute!”

 

Bill, Tao, even Juno and part of the fencing team were all helping to keep him down. Moro the rhino threw her whole body down on the croc’s tail. Legosi could focus on holding the snout for Louis as others grabbed the croc’s arms.

 

Haru, Sheila, Els and Dom rushed for the croc’s injured friend instead. Haru was already trying to administer first aid, staunch the bleeding. The fencing team had fabric to provide.  

 

Team Mom Sheila was the quickest on foot. She suddenly sped her way downstairs for an icebox from a dorm kitchen. She grabbed a second just to be safe.

 

At least two people were calling for an ambulance or the dorm mothers, probably more. As Els and others tried to apply pressure, Haru yelled over to Louis, “I’m calling the clinic!”

 

They needed support. They needed Gouhin. Gouhin would know what to do.

 

This had to be Bloodbone, but how did it get here??

 

‘I’m not sure Bloodbone is a back alley drug,’ Louis once told Yafya - but they still didn’t expect it on the Cherryton campus!

 

They had so many questions and no time for any of them.

 

Legosi’s nose was going crazy, nostrils flaring for each rapid breath. So much data, so many scents - old or new, how much more was Bloodbone??

 

Legosi’s hands were still busy with the wild croc, he couldn’t sign, but he stared at Louis as hard as he possibly could - then at the croc, then at the crowd. He kept pointing at the crowd with his snout and eyes, hoping Louis would catch on.

 

Louis realized and yelled at the crowd, “Did anyone else have what he had?! Is everyone still here?!”

 

Another cat raised her voice, “That track guy isn’t! He said he felt weird and went for a run!”

 

The voiceless wolf still mouthed the word, ‘Fuck!’

 

The medicine was kicking in, the croc was fighting less, but if there was a second victim, who knows how far away he was!

 

Louis yelled at the cat, “What track guy? What species?? Where did he go?!”

 

The cat raised her hands and almost jumped, “I don’t know! The komodo guy! I only heard him in passing!”

 

Legosi stared at Louis again, making several forceful sniffs - exaggerating the act so Louis would see and know.

 

I can do it.

 

Louis barked a new order, “Riz, switch out with Legosi! Keep his snout shut and steady! He has to keep breathing with his nose!”

 

Riz and several of the others took the role and Legosi scrambled to get on his feet. He signed fast to Louis and Louis relayed the message to everyone else, “Everyone, close your mouths for twenty seconds! Legosi can smell your breath!”

 

The wolf was already running towards the chain-link fence that surrounded the roof, pressing his nose right up against it. He shut his eyes, fanned the air at himself, then squeezed his ears. He tried to focus every last bit of his stupid hybrid nose for the scent of a drooling Komodo, drool laced with a different Bloodbone. He even licked at the air. There were so many other things going on before and he missed it, couldn’t pick the new scent from background radiation, but now he knew what to sniff for! Drool! Komodo! Venom! Those were sharper! And if venom was dripping then something was burning! His pulse was crashing like a thunderstorm through his ears and he had to focus on just the air!

 

Ten students, twenty students, thirty, forty. The whole roof, the whole dorm, the school - so many scents blurring across the whole campus evening, thousands of students, so many hundreds of plants and trees and he needed to find just one! One drooling komodo student! Where were they ?!

 

Legosi’s eyes snapped open. He glared right at Aoba.

 

The wolf dashed straight towards the eagle.

 

Aoba had been paralyzed before and now he stepped back, “Legosi??”

 

No time to ask, no time for signs or texts. Legosi grabbed Aoba by the shirt, pointed one direction off the roof, and then he began running straight for it while dragging Aoba behind him. 

 

Everyone got out of their way. The eagle’s feet fumbled to keep up even as he protested, “Leggo, Lego, no! No, you’re too heavy!!”

 

He only needed a parachute.

 

Legosi bounded off a set of seats, grabbed the top of the safety fence with his free hand, and dug his shoes into the chain-link barrier. Aoba’s wings were already flapping like mad as Legosi half jumped, half yanked himself right over the top - and then Legosi and Aoba went crashing straight down off the roof.

 

Plummeting Aoba flapped so hard, his wings blurred - but Legosi suddenly let go of him just shy of a tree. Legosi grasped a branch instead, it broke, but Legosi tucked into a roll on the grass and then was sprinting off into the dark.

 

The eagle landed safely but awkwardly on his feet a few seconds later, and then stumbled onto his arms and knees. He waved an exhausted wing at the disappearing wolf, “No, no! It’s fine! I’m fine!” Aoba wheezed and rolled into his back, “Crazy people…”

*

Komodo.

 

Legosi was sprinting across the campus, lampposts flashing over him. That one word drove him onwards.

 

Wolves were built to run, Legosi more than most, and right now running was absolutely what he needed to do!

 

Drool and Bloodbone and bitter marmalade! He knew them so well! Venom just like grandpa’s! He knew the direction!

 

Legosi sprinted across campus sidewalk and grassy field. He vaulted over benches and a bush, the straightest path - the fastest path. How fast could he make a desperate kilometer?

 

Dirty black market streets gave him so much practice at moving, running, chasing and he was chasing that scented mixture as fast as a wolf could ever go because komodo venom needs just one drop to kill!

 

He had to get there first! He had to get there fast ! No one else! Not Aoba, not Tao, not Louis - even if it was legal for Aoba to fly, they could all die from a touch!

 

A faster pair of footsteps was chasing after Legosi himself and Sheila outright yelled at him, “Legosi, what the hell!!”

 

He staggered the split second she distracted him, barely glanced at her way. He wanted to yell right back, but his voice was so long gone!

 

So typical!! Legosi was trying to get there first and Sheila was probably the only one who could beat him!!

 

Sheila wasted air on talking, “Legosi, I know they call you a demon but it’s a joke! You’re not, you’re mortal, you cannot handle a drugged komodo like that croc! You will die!!”

 

Legosi slapped his hands against the sides of his head and prayed Sheila remembered some of these signs - if she ever even knew them!! 

 

He didn’t stop running even as he signed. Arms moved as big as they could, [I’M FINE! I’M ONE-FOURTH DRAGON! DO NOT HELP!]

 

Sheila’s eyes were tracking him more than where they were going. She repeated in confusion, “Fine? One four?? Fourteen what??”

 

Legosi made a huge exaggerated gesture of big chompy teeth, pointed ahead, then repeated the 1 / 4 like a mathematical fraction and stabbed at his own chest.

 

The cheetah’s footsteps staggered slower, keeping pace with him. “Dragon?” She almost tripped when she put it together, “…You’re one-fourth KOMODO?!”

 

Legosi silently screamed the word, [YES!]

 

Sheila read that off his lips and yelled for real, “I thought you were adopted?! Like Kai!!”

 

Venom on the sidewalk!! Barely sizzling but still right there! Legosi hit the brakes so hard to keep her from stepping on it, pointing it out to her, because if anyone touched it without knowing what it was, it could still kill!

 

He glanced at plants nearby, but Sheila was on the same page and reading ahead. She hit him on the back and shouted out, “I’ll deal with the venom! You get him! I’ll be right behind you!”

 

Legosi exaggerated a [THANK YOU] and then he was dashing away once more.

……

Hold on. Just hold on. That’s all.

 

The fight was over so fast. The run was the hard part! Just getting there! Getting there first!

 

Legosi was breathless before he even started, but he knew how to fight and that drugged komodo didn’t. 

 

A scarf became a rope, the right twists and turns to catch the teen’s wrists, and then they were both crashing to the ground, rolling into the grass. 

 

The komodo was wrestling every which way, but so much smaller than the croc. Legosi hated hated hated grappling with a carnivore like this, all the pointy bits, but he had to be contained! He could not escape! Legosi could not chase him down again!

 

Komodo claws kept trying to scratch or bite. Legosi was getting venom all over the front of the protective jacket, but sharp teeth were kept at bay. Legosi fumbled him into half of a headlock, squeezed harder and tried to lock his limbs in turn - hands, elbows, legs, any part available to hold on because Legosi knew help was coming. 

 

Time! I just need time! Louis and Haru will be getting the Dokugumi. Maybe one was driving the car! I just have to hold until then!

 

Bloodbone made any other carnivore drool like a broken faucet and Legosi had seen his grandpa’s venom! He knew how bad it could get and that before drugs got involved!

 

He could smell the venom burning parts of his clothes, but it didn’t matter! His flesh was immune! Even when some got in his mouth, it didn’t matter! It didn’t matter! 

 

I just have to hold! To hold! That’s it!

 

A loud shuddering, shaking, vibrating noise was bursting forth between school buildings - a massive shadow that Legosi couldn’t even turn to see before it was on them, yelling at Legosi, “Face him down! I still burn!”

 

Before Legosi could obey, he and the komodo were shoved hard by the thing. They went tumbling over. As soon as the komodo was mostly face-down beneath him, Legosi felt a colossal weight piling all over his back, his legs. 

 

The thing was pinning Legosi and the komodo down - and it was terribly uncomfortable and even painful, the weight of three, maybe four people at once - but for a few moments Legosi could actually let some of his muscles go slack. He could stop tensing up because the other weight was there with him, too. It was helping him.

 

And somehow the weight knew what it was doing and it shifted just enough so Legosi could catch his breath while the two were still pinned. 

 

The monstrous thing shifted and writhed, it outright slithered, rattled, and finally Legosi could identify the giant snake for what it was. Of the three creatures, the snake was the only one who could actually talk. “You just can’t keep yourself out of trouble, can you? I swear you’re like a magnet.”

Notes:

Chapter 54: No time to be normal

Summary:

Once upon a time, Gosha changed the game.

Someone is trying to change it back.

*

Riz Therapy Session #1 of ???.

Notes:

Just FYI, I really cannot be doing 40+ page chapters all the time. This chapter is 30+ already and I didn't want to make it 50+. That's too much. But I promise I'll fit the grand two-part Louis-Yafya confrontation in next time.

But for those looking for something softer / more romantic, I did polish up the Ibuki-Oguma sequel to Chapter 47 the other week. I posted that on its own cause they're actually adults and Signs is mature, but not explicit. You can find their NSFW date time over here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51594949

You know, I’ve heard weighted blankets are good for anxiety… but I’m not sure this is what they meant.

 

Beneath that ginormous weighted blanket of a snake, Legosi did his best to cool down.

 

His pulse had been racing so fast before and he still felt chemicals flooding his veins. Legosi inhaled deeply through his nose, and then blew out hard with his mouth.

 

In… Out…

 

In… Out…

 

I can’t panic now…

 

This isn’t over…

 

He had to ground himself, to use those fancy coping skills and gather up his strength while he could.

 

The komodo was still struggling, but Legosi had to do very little.

 

With a calm voice, the giant snake spoke out loud, “I don’t know how coherent you two are right now, but I have no desire to harm either of you. I am a security guard for the school. My name is Rokume.”

 

Well, at least I finally know where that rattling came from…

 

Legosi’s ear flicked in slight annoyance.

 

It definitely wasn’t tinnitus haunting Legosi for all those weeks. 

 

No, no, Rokume, it’s fine! Please, go right on stalking me for months! What do you do? Travel by the school vents? ‘Yeah, no, Legosi’s just crazy! He hears things.’ Urgh.

 

Legosi huffed once to himself.

 

Jerk… and I know you can’t read my mind, but I am going to give you such a piece of it when I get an interpreter!

 

The rattle on the snake’s tail grew even louder then.

 

Rokume held their rattle aloft and shook it like an alarm bell, calling out to others as a guide. 

 

Begrudging Legosi had to admit the snake was helping now.

 

Better late than never, I guess… 

 

Kinda weird though…  

 

Legosi tried to shift underneath the great reptile and get a better sense for how truly massive Rokume was. It made the wolf wonder…

 

Compared to the snakes around the city… Rokume is… really large, right?

 

I mean like unnaturally large for a rattlesnake. As giant as Rokume is, I’d think they were… anaconda or something like that…

 

The snake kept their voice soft to comfort them, “Help is already on the way. Try to relax until then.”

 

Legosi complained in his thoughts, Easy for you to say…

 

Yet the komodo, Legosi realized, had started to cry at some point. Even as the reptile drooled venom onto the ground, his eyes had gotten wet and glistened.

 

It was just like the other victims in the back alleys. The drug and hunger might consume so much, but there was still a frightened kid inside.

 

Sorry… You’re probably more scared than anyone…

 

Legosi so wished he could speak just so he could reassure him.

 

It’ll be okay.

 

We’ll get through this.

 

My friends will be here soon.

 

And the doctors can make this all better.

 

You’ll be okay.

 

Legosi moved his arms the slightest way and tried to give the komodo a simple hug instead.

 

…feels a bit like hugging grandpa…

 

The komodo sniffled noisily.

……

As soon as the croc was unconscious, Louis made a point of putting Haru in charge in front of everyone. 

 

She took over organizing the crowd, what people should be doing, what steps to take next - because getting the croc to sleep was only step one. They needed to get him secured and prepared for transport to Gouhin’s clinic.

 

By then Louis and a few others were already racing after Legosi. A big male wolf running like hell across campus and then fighting a crazed komodo? There were too many ways it could look bad. Louis was too afraid that Legosi might need his interpreter, need someone to explain. 

 

Theo the hybrid could carry the maimed lizard all on his own, even rushing down the stairwell. Since Sheila ran after Legosi and Haru was in charge, Juno went with Theo and carried the iced arm for him. 

 

By the time the first ambulance arrived, there was no waiting. Juno relayed symptoms and circumstances as the professionals loaded the lizard up and then raced towards the nearest hospital. 

 

Reattachment surgeries had an extremely high rate of success these days, and lizards had some regenerative capabilities of their own. The injury was traumatic, though probably not permanent. That’s what everyone hoped anyway.

 

Riz and the others might have been able to carry the saltwater croc downstairs themselves, but the dorm mothers had arrived by that point. Haru explained rapidly and they used the service elevator to get the croc to the ground level.

 

But between the screaming, the thick scent of blood, and the general state of panic… a few students in the carnivore dorm were opening their doors to investigate. Some even followed Louis and the crowd who were going to find Legosi.

 

Some helped Sheila with marking or disinfecting the venom on the sidewalk, including Aoba, but Louis sprinted onwards to help Legosi. 

 

Too bad he didn’t have Legosi’s legs. Louis was wheezing in no time, but adrenaline kicked in at some point. He’d breathe after Legosi was safe.

 

The snake’s rattle caught their attention from a distance, and Louis panicked a bit more when he saw Legosi motionless beneath that serpentine monster.

 

One quick round of ‘kick your leg once for no / twice for yes’ and a relieved Louis could finally slump onto the ground.

 

‘Are you injured?’ [No.] ‘Are you getting enough air?’ [Yes.] ‘Haru called the clinic for more backup. They’ll be here soon. Can you hold on till then?’ [Yes.] 

 

Legosi didn’t expect the awkwardness of it all. They were starting to get a crowd.

 

Unfortunately, the first driver was just meant to pick up Riz, and they weren’t part of the Dokugumi. Legosi’s luck was not that good. She was a fox and arrived near the carnivore dorm driving a regular car - not an ambulance. 

 

When Haru tried to explain what was going on, the fox couldn’t help with Legosi or a drugged komodo student. The clinic had been expecting a teenage bear, not a venomous victim, and a lot of things were happening tonight!

 

The mandrill dorm mother almost didn’t let the driver take the croc or Riz, even after Haru name-dropped the trio’s work with the clinic and the Sublime Beastar. The dorm mother would only let the driver leave with Riz and the croc if the mandrill went with them. 

 

Shortly after that car left, another ambulance arrived in third place. 

 

Any other day emergency medical technicians might have panicked to see a wolf’s shirt sizzling from so much venom. But Sheila already shared that particular message with the crowd that chased after Legosi: 

 

One-fourth Komodo…

 

One less problem…

 

Savon’s car got there fourth.

 

Leano herself went to the school with Savon to make sure Legosi was alright. A komodo woman came with them as well, a new volunteer named Belladonna, just in case they needed another venom-proof set of hands. Before Leano even got out of the car, she put on her hat and mask combo to hide her canid qualities…

 

…but she could hear the gossip as soon as they arrived…

 

Hybrid wolf. Komodo dragon.

 

Trying to knock out the drooling komodo teen presented a different challenge. The venom would have fried Gouhin’s usual medicated cloths. But Legosi and Rokume had him restrained well enough that an EMT could deliver a sedative through the komodo’s tail.

 

They still needed a significant amount of chemicals to neutralize all that venom. Before Rokume moved, Legosi, the snake and the komodo student were practically drenched in the stuff. Some they got from the school infirmary and the ambulance, but Leano and Belladonna brought a whole lot more. 

 

Savon brought an extra mask to cover the sleeping kid’s mouth and prevent any further venom from leaking out.

 

Leano was trying to restrain her motherly impulses in public, but this wasn’t over. 

 

Even as that was going on, she spread the word to the school staff and assembled students. “This is happening all over the city. Caffeinated drinks have been spiked and dispersed by persons unknown. They’re targeting teenage carnivores and putting everyone else at risk. We have the means to treat them at the Giant Panda Clinic, but we have no idea how many others have been exposed. Do a headcount of every student - carnivore and herbivore. We need to make sure no one else is at risk and no one else has these drinks.”

 

Shit , Legosi thought to himself. There is more. I was afraid of that.

 

Bloodbone . He knew what the new version smelled like now.

 

I have to get up. I have to get moving.

 

His limbs were so stiff. Parts of him felt sore or injured. After the whole time under Rokume and grappling with the croc before that, Legosi staggered standing up. He had to stretch out and get walking. 

 

The armored jacket for fencing had practically turned into Swiss cheese, and so had his shirt underneath. The crowd saw the damage - and Legosi’s apparent immunity. 

 

Savon also noticed that problem right away. “Hey, Legosi! Switch out with me.” Savon yanked off his own black long-sleeved shirt, thankful for a tank top underneath that. Savon threw the black shirt at the wolf, “My shirt’s treated to resist venom. Wear that for now.”

 

Legosi would feel better after he had a proper shower with the appropriate soap - just to be safe - but time was a factor. A new protective layer was appreciated on the off chance a drop escaped.

 

And the crowd saw that exchange of a komodo’s shirt, they saw Leano signing to Legosi, and it wasn’t hard for people to make some assumptions. 

 

Leano could see the way people were looking at them. She heard the whispers. 

 

Komodo. Dragon wolf.

 

Leano’s hat tipped lower to hide more of her face from the crowd. Leano signed, [I’m sorry. I should have sent someone else.]

 

[No,] Legosi signed fast. His right ear flicked as he scanned the growing crowd of students and staff. [If what you said is true, there's no time for faking right now. Can you run to the dorms with me?] 

 

Before she even answered, Legosi started getting close to the crowd of students and started aggressively sniffing near each of them, checking their breath for faint traces of the drug.

 

The mask hid part of Leano’s grimace at first, but Legosi’s determination was clear. 

 

If he wasn’t going to hide it, then…

 

Leano pulled that mask away from her lupine-shaped snout. 

 

“Yes.” She started sniffing, too. “I can.”

 

So much for being normal, huh?

……

Gouhin was having a terrible evening.

 

All the new hires, the extra volunteers, Gosha’s gumis, the newly-joined Inarigumi - everybody available was being dispatched in a hurry because they needed bodies all over the city streets. They needed to be prepared for the worst to happen on any block, not just the back alleys.

 

By the time the clinic was getting reports from across the city, there were already half a dozen casualties - crazed carnivores and injured herbivores - and more by the hour.

 

The infrastructure they built was being tested tonight.

 

Clinic volunteers and some from the gumis were trying to call hospitals, police stations, to spread the word of what was happening. Gosha and Dope were trying to coordinate everyone’s movements, everyone’s patrols. 

 

Yet there was a whole city out there and not everyone took their calls seriously.

 

Well, if they didn’t want to listen, then Gosha would make them listen.

 

While Legosi was pinned down, the stories were hitting local news stations and Gosha called in himself.

 

Gosha spoke stern and sharp over the phone, “This is Gosha the komodo of the Giant Panda Clinic! I worked with the Sublime Beastar, his partner! These are not random devourings! This is an ongoing chemical attack! Someone has been spiking caffeinated beverages to poison young carnivores. They’re being drugged into an artificial, feral state, insatiably hungry and drooling for meat. They want carnivores to look like monsters and they don’t care how many people get hurt in the process!”

 

“We have the means to treat them, but they are not in control of their actions! They’re kids and victims! Do not shoot them! Please!! This is an emergency situation and the Inarigumi, Dokugumi, and Shishigumi are assisting us in nonlethal rescues across the city, but I hope the police are listening right now because we have to work together - or more kids are going to die!”

 

And what started as yelling at authorities turned instead to a grandfather’s kindness, “And if you drank something and now you’re feeling sick, confused, and hungry, then call an ambulance or have another carnivore drive you directly to a hospital. We will cover your medical bills! Do not try to drive yourself. Do not get on public transportation. As much as possible try not to look at or smell herbivores…” 

 

“…Cover your eyes and close your nostrils if you have to, because it could buy you some time. So take deep breaths with your mouth. Put on slow music. Chew hard breads if it's safe, or eat meat if you have access to it - because it will keep some symptoms at bay and buy you time…” 

 

“…And that’s what we need most of right now: time ! We’re here to help. We are coming to help. We can all get through this. We don’t want anyone else to get hurt. Please, they’re just kids. They didn’t deserve this.”

 

The warning was picked up fast and kept playing on multiple stations. If Gosha hadn’t mentioned his work with the Sublime, they might not have listened at all. Yafya’s title carried weight with the community at large, as did the name of Gouhin’s clinic with the rest of the local hospitals. 

 

People started listening.

 

But Gosha still just mentioned meat on a news broadcast and other people actually allowed it.

 

And if three gumis were getting involved all at once, then this had to be a clusterfuck of disastrous proportions.

 

Gouhin didn’t want to imagine how bad the fallout was going to be from this, but he didn’t have time to think about that now. New patients kept arriving.

 

One of the Inarigumi brought in a massive saltwater crocodile - an unconscious teenager, but those were the biggest reptiles around. Dark green jaws were tied shut, but still slightly drooling at the corners. A teenage grizzly had to help get the croc on a gurney and the grizzly followed along with a motherly mandrill.

 

Gouhin and a nurse were already checking the croc’s vitals with several devices as Gouhin asked, “What happened?”

 

The grizzly looked to be in pain himself, but the younger bear started giving the report: what he’d seen, what he’d heard, the arm, Legosi, Louis, Bloodbone in energy drinks, everything.

 

The middle-aged mandrill had a fierceness about her whole being and she needed to know, “What is this? What is happening to these children?”

 

“Terrorism,” Gouhin said flatly. He was more focused on hooking up the croc with an IV line than answering her. He needed to get the right meds into the croc in a hurry before he could wake. “Old fashioned, pointless, ‘don’t care who they hurt’ terrorism - because someone wants to make monsters out of kid carnivores. Playing mad scientist with people’s lives.”

 

Jaws tight, the young grizzly said, “How can I help?”

 

The blackness of Gouhin’s eyes stared harder at the younger bear. “ You are barely standing. You can help by-”

 

“Runner!” A lioness shouted in the hall. “We got a runner!”

 

Gouhin dashed toward the hall, but the young grizzly was two meters quicker. Gouhin yelled, “Don’t kill him!” 

 

“I know!” The grizzly yelled back, and a single shoulder check knocked the muzzled fox into the wall. “Not his fault!”

 

The fox lost his footing and hit the floor. He scrambled back up onto his feet, but the grizzly got behind him first and caught him in both arms. 

 

The muzzled, drooling fox was trying to fight every which way, limbs flailing in what little movement they could find, kicking and stomping at Riz, but the fox was barely bigger than Louis.

 

The lioness was limping to catch up, a medicated cloth in her hand. She threw it to Gouhin and he slapped it on the fox’s face in turn. The grizzly tried to adjust his hold to keep the fox from scratching at the panda.

 

It only took a few seconds more with the fox’s size, and then the fox was wilting closer to unconsciousness.

 

Gouhin stared hard at the grizzly, concerned but calculating. 

 

The young grizzly even kept the fox from falling when the fox’s knees began to give out. 

 

“Okay,” Gouhin agreed for the moment. “You can help.”

…… 

Person by person, Legosi and Leano checked everyone as quickly as they could. 

 

Legosi found a tigress in the crowd who had the scent of Bloodbone on her breath. She must have had a drink, or a part of a drink, but she wasn’t showing symptoms yet. Maybe she only had a sip. A dorm mother took her to the school infirmary just in case. 

 

Haru had the sense of mind to collect all the caffeinated drinks on the roof, and one of the carnivores got plastic bags from their room to seal them up. They were evidence. By the time Leano and Legosi got to the dorms, Haru was at the front door and had samples. Leano could give them a careful sniff as well. If Leano didn’t know it yet, the scent was now confirmed.

 

But Cherryton had thousands of students and time was of the essence. Legosi and Leano had to split up.

 

Haru helped coordinate things outside with the dorm mothers and other students. No one was allowed out of the dorms until Legosi or Leano checked them first.

 

Legosi and Louis started with the male carnivore dorm and worked room by room, floor by floor. Louis was the Beastar. That status carried weight across the whole school and so did Legosi’s presence with the carnivores. 

 

Legosi didn’t have the time to explain everything to his roommates (and he didn’t want to risk their exposure to Bloodbone), but he could tell them more later. Right now that hybrid nose had to hurry.

 

A dorm mother went with Leano and she covered the female carnivore dorm in the same way. 

 

Legosi found a struggling, sickly cheetah on an upper floor, but they managed to keep his symptoms from escalating with the cloth. A new driver would get them to Gouhin’s clinic soon enough.

 

As soon as they were done with the carnivore dorms, they checked the herbivore dorms in the same way. Thankfully even the herbivores that weren’t keen on Legosi did respect Louis. 

 

They only found a few more drinks - some unopened, some partially drank. Bottles had to be confiscated and sealed. Symptoms varied. The herbivores didn’t seem to have any reaction at all, aside from the usual benefits of an energy drink. (They weren’t fond of the taste, but did that really mean anything?)

 

At the end of it all, Legosi’s sniffer was dying and might never recover - because have you ever tried to smell the breath of one high school boy, much less thousands?

 

He was exhausted and overstimulated, but it was done. They confirmed information with those on the ground floor, the dorm mothers identifying everyone they could. 

 

Leano left with most of the samples and the other sickly students, taking them back to the clinic. Legosi had half a mind to go with her, but it sounded like things were calming down and the fatigue was catching up.

 

Legosi just wanted to go to bed, but Leano’s final order was to check in with the school nurse himself. Getting smashed around on the ground by a saltwater crocodile is not a harm-free experience, even if the armor did protect him some. 

 

There had been nights around the back alleys that had been less injurious than this. Louis still went with Legosi to the nurse to be his voice.

 

Haru was wrapping things up with the others around the dorms, but she eventually headed over to the nurse to make sure Legosi was alright.

 

And of course, Legosi’s luck being what it was, by the time the nurse cleared Legosi to leave… Principal Gon was waiting for the trio.

 

And of course… Gon just had to say the words that no one ever likes to hear… “We need to talk.”

……

Riz lasted a lot longer than Gouhin expected. Adrenaline, endorphins, fight or flight, ‘the Mom-Friend Override’ - call it what you want, but it made a difference and so did Riz. Gouhin needed extra hands on deck and Riz had a big set.

 

Yet it was all a matter of time before the young bear’s endurance failed him and Gouhin saw the warning signs. “Sink!”

 

The hammer of beeping machines, the assault of medical smells, the lights and chaos of a busy medical ward - everything smashing into the brown bear’s head over and over, building that sickness until it was all unavoidable.

 

Gouhin rushed the bleary-eyed Riz to a sink and Riz finally threw up hard. Gouhin kept him steady for a moment, but there was still so much to do.

 

The panda yelled at some others, “Resa! Joe! New patient over here! Migraine! Medical history! Get on it!”

 

It was going to be a long night for everyone.

……

Gon had the trio follow to a nurse’s nearby office. He didn’t want eavesdroppers for this, but Gon also needed information fast. 

 

Even then he had his smart phone in hand and was receiving updates from school staff. Gon didn’t even bother to sit down. “From what I hear several students were drugged and one was maimed. But I hear if Legosi didn’t act so quickly then even more students would have been harmed - or even killed. For that I must thank you.”

 

Legosi slumped into a chair with a kerchief over his nose and an icepack on one arm. Haru was fine to stay standing by Legosi’s left side, almost right up against his chair. Louis also stayed standing for the most part, but he positioned himself at an angle so he could see Gon and observe Legosi sign. 

 

When Legosi signed an awkward, [You’re welcome,] Louis relayed that.

 

Gon nodded back once. The beeps of his phone continued. “The staff says you also called in the services of a clinic to take and treat those students - the same clinic mentioned in the news. I’ve tried not to press you three about your work with the Sublime Beastar, but that komodo mentioned the Sublime as well. I doubt these are coincidences.”

 

Haru held up a hand to interrupt, “They’re already saying something on the news? Which komodo are you talking about?”

 

Gon showed them the news broadcast and the audio recording, which was still playing on various channels. Someone even managed to dig up an old photo of Gosha receiving a medal from the police, and now that image was making the rounds.

 

When the recording was done, Gon paused the feed once more. “I’m sure you understand the situation we are all in. I will have to give an accounting of this to the school, staff, and everyone’s parents - particularly those who were drugged, hurt, and taken off school grounds for emergency treatment. With everything I have heard so far, I am left to believe that you three have intimate insight to what happened tonight - and I need to hear it.”

 

Tired Legosi huffed and made an offhand sign, [That’s an understatement…]

 

Louis shared his weariness and leaned back against a cabinet for support. “We can’t tell you everything, but yes, part of our operations have revolved around helping the victims of that drug. It’s called Bloodbone.”

 

Haru patted the wolf’s arm in friendly reassurance. She told the tiger, “The clinic has been studying it, but we still don’t know who makes it or how it's been getting around.”

 

[Track team,] Legosi signed without removing the kerchief from over his snout.

 

Haru asked, “What?” But Legosi was already explaining, [Most of the victims tonight were on the track team or close to a carnivore who was. Most of them probably got it on a run after class. If we can talk with the track team more, maybe someone will remember where they got it or who it was from.]

 

Louis started interpreting automatically, facing Legosi more than Gon. 

 

For Gon’s benefit, Haru added to explain, “Because the way the drug messes with their head, it makes their recent memories foggy as well. It’s a chemically-induced altered state of consciousness. They’ll recover from most of the symptoms, but it seems to interrupt the formation of long-term memories. And I’ll be honest: considering what Bloodbone can make them do, we don’t know if that’s on purpose or an unintended blessing.”

 

The tiger’s body tensed up. Gon asked the obvious, “This isn’t the first time someone’s done this?”

 

Louis stood up a bit straighter, “Nothing like this. Drugging teens by energy drink has been their modus operandi for a while, but they’ve never shown such a widespread or simultaneous attack before. One person here or there, never like this. They’ve never done anything close to this magnitude before.”

 

Legosi waved for Louis’s attention because he noticed something else, [It wasn’t just the scale that was different. The Bloodbone in the drinks tonight was a different formula, too. …And considering how some of our classmates were exposed but didn’t show severe symptoms… I have to wonder if they decreased the dose expressly to cause a delayed reaction.]

 

Haru understood where he was going with that, “Get more people drugged before anyone realized there was a problem.”

 

Legosi nodded twice and signed, [Maybe if the carnivores didn’t drink enough or drink fast enough, it didn’t hit as hard?]

 

Haru agreed, “Or excited enough.” Haru turned to the tiger to keep explaining, “The clinic has also encountered it in a pill form being distributed elsewhere in the city, but the pill form was much less potent. It’s practically a low-grade pleasure drug, just makes it fun and easier to eat meat. So we’ve run into at least three different forms of the drug, and if they’ve already fussed with the formula this much, then there could have been even more.”

 

Legosi wondered out loud, [Fussing with the formula… or testing it?]

 

And of course Louis relayed that as well, then added, “But that’s probably a rhetorical question.” Legosi nodded the affirmative. Louis assumed the next part, “Because the kids we’ve run into before, maybe they were just a trial run for something like this, an experiment to see how it impacted different species?”

 

Gon did not want to judge too hastily, but a big piece of this puzzle still sounded wrong to his ears. He held up a single claw, “The Sublime Beastar has been working on stopping this threat for months and it still escalated to all this?”

 

Haru bit her tongue. Legosi held his breath.

 

Louis grit his teeth hard. “No.”

 

The tiger’s tail twitched and his claw fell down. “No?”

 

Louis crossed his arms over his chest, “No, as in the Sublime Beastar has done nothing.”

 

The weight of that sentence was clear on Gon’s face - the confusion, the surprise, the shock of it. The Manifested Guardian Deity, the one who battles the darkness with his own body, doing nothing?

 

Louis’ own anger was growing again. His snout started to wrinkle and his arms tightened their restraint. “The only people who have done anything to help this situation are that clinic and the three gumis - and their reach only extends around the back alleys, and they do not have the resources or training of actual police detectives…” 

 

Louis looked ready to bite someone and thought it better to keep his arms locked across his chest. “…I have tried repeatedly to get Yafya more involved. The clinic and I were willing to share all our findings with him and he literally hung up on me rather than work with them. So, no, the Sublime has not been working to stop this threat. …He’s known about it for months and expressly, explicitly blown it off, because when it comes to teenage carnivores being victims, he just - doesn’t - care.”

 

That’s what Louis believed anyway.

 

Gon stared at Louis for a long time. The deer’s intensity didn’t waver. 

 

Gon turned to look at Legosi, but Legosi’s face was blank. The wolf gave a slight nod and pointed at Louis, as if to say ‘Yeah, what he said.’ Haru gestured the same with both hands. 

 

Gon shifted uncomfortably on his feet and finally said, “You’re serious.”

 

It wasn’t a question. Louis let a sneer cross his face, “I wish I wasn’t.”

 

The tiger locked his jaws and tried to control his emotions, but this kind of news just made everything worse. “…I can’t tell that to the student body, much less their parents! The Sublime Beastar is supposed to be their hero.”

 

The deer’s nose was still all wrinkled up. “I’m not telling you what to tell people. I’m telling you what happened and how we got here. What you do with that information is up to you.”

 

Louis then distinctly put his hand on the wolf’s shoulder and squeezed, “But you should also know your earlier assessment was accurate: if Legosi didn’t do what all he did, then you wouldn’t have multiple students in a clinic right now. You’d have students in coffins.”

 

The tiger was still trying hard to control his own breathing through his nose. He glanced again at his smart phone and the continuing assault of new messages, updates around the campus and beyond. Gon eventually said, “I believe that… I already received pictures of the blood on the roof and the damage caused by that venom. Few people would have survived it.”

 

So many terrible things in so quick a time.

 

At least the worst was over now.

 

Right?

 

The tiger scrunched his eyes, then shook it off. Gon looked at the wolf, “Legosi? We’ve talked before about your actions for the school. At this point a special commendation should be the least of your rewards. I know you said you didn’t want to be a Beastar in the past. Yet after this night, under normal circumstances I’d say that your Beastar nomination would be an absolute certainty…” 

 

A special commendation would probably look good on a college application, all things considered…

 

Louis’ eyes narrowed in suspicion and he leaned forward. “Why does it sound like you’re about to say ‘but’?”

 

Gon turned off his phone and put it in his suit pocket. The tiger kept his eyes lowered and didn’t look up. “…but I’ve also heard from multiple accounts that your immunity to komodo venom stems from a komodo heritage, and that hybrid woman was your mother. …I’d like you to know that as far as I am concerned, your hybrid heritage would not be a negative factor in your nomination. If it was up to me alone, you would be a Beastar before even leaving this room…”

 

Louis angled his head forward, sharp antlers more aggressive in their posture. “And now you’re about to say that’s not the case, aren’t you?”

 

Gon clenched his fists and lowered his gaze. “…To my great regret, you are right. It is not up to me alone… A Beastar is chosen by the collective will of the school, staff, and school board, and… I honestly do not know how they will all react to this.” 

 

Legosi was too overstimulated to have much of a reaction, but Louis did. Louis gripped Legosi’s shoulder tighter and spoke even louder, “Clearly you have to have some kind of insight or you wouldn’t be saying this at all!”

 

Gon didn’t raise his eyes, but for a moment he talked just as loud, “I do not know!” The tiger was trying to contain his own emotional reaction, but clearly this bothered Gon himself. Several students nearly died! He spoke in a quieter rush, “…The news of your heritage is sudden, but after this night the gossip will likely move quickly through the school and staff. Interspecial marriages were only legalized for certain groups ten years ago, and marriages between venomous and non-venomous species still are illegal . Many herbivores of my generation are regrettably closed-minded, and herbivores have an overwhelming majority over carnivores. There was a time a tiger becoming principal of Cherryton was a thing of scandal and some of those people are still in power.”

 

Gon gave a complete, formal bow at the waist. “Legosi. Thank you for your service to this school. I will do the best I can for you to get a fair chance.” The tiger stood back up and adjusted his glasses. “I can make no other promises.”

 

“Louis,” Haru quickly snapped at the seething deer before Louis could say something else. “I know you’re hopped up on righteous fury tonight cause I am, too, but this is not the place to fight for Legosi. You want to speak for him, you have to listen to him.”

 

Louis still had that ‘I’m going to kill someone’ look on his face, but somehow he swallowed his rage and looked to Legosi instead. “You’re right. I apologize. I know exactly who I should be mad at - and it's not Gon.”

 

The wolf must have wanted to say something. 

 

Legosi glanced at Louis, too, but the only real emotion on Legosi's face was that same injured weariness.

 

Legosi stood up despite the stiffness in his limbs, and then the wolf signed his answer.

 

Flat teeth grinding, Louis struggled to speak as kindly as Legosi would have.

 

[I've never done anything for some kind of reward - and I don't expect anything now either. I won’t become a Beastar if it means denying my family. What I want right now is to go to bed, sleep, wake up in less pain, and then go to class. But if you really want to thank me? Then give Louis and Haru an hour of your time tomorrow.] 

 

[Listen to them about the other drugs being forced on your carnivore students - and then help them . This school has resources for students with disabilities like me. It's time you expand those.]

 

Legosi started walking toward the door when he remembered something else. He faced the tiger again, [Oh… and for what it’s worth? If a hybrid like me actually has a fair shot… maybe I wouldn’t mind being a Beastar after all.]

 

[I’m not the only hybrid here.]

……

When Gouhin finally checked in on Riz, the younger bear had his own room and bed in an upstairs part of the clinic. There was less foot traffic up there and things were quieter. The lights were almost all turned off. Beeping machines had likewise been turned down or muted.

 

An IV line had already put a medical cocktail of drugs into Riz’s system by then, but he was still hooked up and bagged fluids were still dripping. A few more devices were monitoring his vitals.

 

Riz had his eyes closed while waiting, half asleep in the bed, but he opened them when he heard the panda's heavy footsteps approaching.

 

Gouhin shot him a huge smirk and gave him a silent round of applause. “You… are one tough kid.”

 

Riz stopped feeling nauseous at some point, but some of his symptoms remained and he was still exhausted. “Thanks,” was all he cared to say.

 

Gouhin stepped closer and examined the readings off of the machines. “‘Thanks’ is what I should be saying - and I am. You pitched in when things were worst. Make no mistake: you made a difference tonight.”

 

Riz managed a slow shrug of stiff shoulders. “If you say so. Doc.”

 

Gouhin smirked at his new patient, “I do say so!” Gouhin stopped looking at the machines and got a bit more hands on with the teenage bear, checking his eyes, wrists and several areas around his neck. “Most kids your age would have frozen or gotten out of the way. You jumped to help - multiple times apparently. I hear you helped bring in that croc with Legosi, too.”

 

Riz’s eyes drifted to the side. “Wasn’t much. Legosi moved first. I just followed his lead.”

 

For a few more seconds, Gouhin just stared at him. 

 

Then Gouhin said, “Huh… you got it bad, huh, kid?”

 

Riz frowned, glanced at him once, but kept trying to avert his eyes. “Got what bad?”

 

Gouhin took out the bear’s medical chart to double check something. While he searched, he asked, “On a scale of 1 to 10, where 1 is a paper cut and 10 is the worst pain you can imagine, how much pain are you in right now?”

 

Riz breathed slowly and wondered how to put it into words. Words itself were escaping his burned brain. “I don’t know… I guess I’m still at a three or four…”

 

Gouhin checked the list of medicines already provided to Riz and how much was still dripping through the IV line. “Same scale: how much pain were you in when they started treatment?”

 

Riz couldn’t keep his eyes from closing as he thought. “8. Maybe 9. …I guess it was 9 or 10 before Louis gave me that other thing.”

 

Gouhin looked at the other historical information gathered by the nurse in Riz’s medical chart. “Sounds like we’re making progress at least, but we’ve still got work to do. They got a number of your symptoms here already, but I’ve still got a few questions myself - like your sense of taste. How is that?”

 

The grizzly winced without opening his eyes. “Huh?”

 

Gouhin explained so casually, “Not many people know that a migraine can mess with several senses, including your sense of taste. They’ve got some notes about your severe photosensitivity and visual disturbances. But how is your sense of taste right now?”

 

It sounded reasonable when Gouhin put it like that, but Riz was still clearly uncomfortable when he answered, “I don’t have one.”

 

“None at all?” Gouhin wondered. 

 

Riz shook his head with the least amount of movement. “No. …I can’t taste anything.”

 

Gouhin rumbled softly and added that to the notes. “Is this a recent development? Or have you never had a sense of taste?”

 

“Recent, I guess,” Riz replied.

 

“You guess?” Gouhin clearly wanted a more accurate response. 

 

Riz fought with his own mind, but it’s not like Gouhin had a window into his memories. He couldn’t know about the murder. Riz was drained enough that he admitted, “It was in the last year.”

 

Gouhin kept writing. “Did you lose it all at once, or was there a gradual decline?”

 

“I,” Riz started to answer, then hesitated again. “…I don’t remember. Fast. I guess.”

 

It didn’t sound like Riz was making a guess that time either, but Gouhin was trying to move carefully. 

 

The panda couldn’t rush straight forward. He had to handle this with grace - delicately, gently, and with a little bit of subterfuge. 

 

Gouhin got out a stethoscope, then approached the younger bear’s bed. “I need to take a listen to your heart and lungs. You can stay on the bed, but I do need you to open your shirt.”

 

Right away Riz’s body tightened up. Worry made him tense. “Is that necessary?”

 

“Yes,” Gouhin said gently but firmly. “I promise I won’t say anything bad about your appearance. You don’t have to be body shy. I see terrible things all the time, so there’s nothing you have that would shock me.”

 

Riz still hesitated for a long time - but he was doubly conscious of the fact that the longer he took, the more suspect it might seem.

 

Riz looked down at the wrinkled school shirt and finally undid a few buttons down the chest. “Sorry. I guess I am shy. They don’t really matter, I guess… I just got a few scars…”

 

Gouhin smiled and pretended to be lighthearted about it. “Scars? Damn, kid, that’s nothing! I’m covered in scars. See?” He pointed at the scars across his face, “Lost an eye even, a ton of back fur… There was this one cat - aw, shit, you don’t care. You’ll forgive me if I keep my shirt on, but you can’t look worse than me!”

 

Gouhin laughed at himself like it was just a joke.

 

‘Distraction’ would be a better word. 

 

Self-conscious Riz averted his eyes, and that was good.

 

Gouhin pressed the stethoscope into the space that Riz had opened over his chest. Gouhin pretended to listen to the younger bear’s breathing, but it wasn’t his lungs Gouhin was thinking about.

 

Gouhin gently slid the stethoscope further under Riz’s shirt, then used the motion to subtly tug the opening wider. Gouhin wanted a better look at those scars… because Gouhin had a feeling Riz had several before Riz ever admitted it. 

 

Gouhin had been treating carnivores who self-harmed for years.

 

And once Gouhin could see those scars for himself? Gouhin could analyze the placement, angle, width, the general severity of damage and extent of healing… all the little things that told a story…

 

Those scars weren’t from a single moment’s cut. They’d been clawed at repeatedly over time - not just over days, but weeks and maybe even more. The frequency marred the healing process. Gouhin was pretty sure Riz had scratched at them recently, too.

 

Gouhin only needed a little more data to be sure.

 

Gouhin talked about it like they were joking about childhood scars for fun. “I’ve been working in this area for a long time. Lotta violence here. Lotta people who need help. Used to be way harder when I was doing it by myself! Thought I was dead more than once! Heh. Lot harder to aim with only one eye, too, I can tell you that.”

 

Riz still wasn’t facing him and muttered off to the side, “Maybe you should look for a new line of work…”

 

The panda laughed, “Ha! Cut and run when things are finally getting good? Not hardly. A year ago it was just me and the owl lady. Now the clinic finally has enough staff to handle it all. I’m moving up in the world! Might even take some personal time, get me a girlfriend…”

 

Gouhin playfully asked, “What about you? I don’t suppose your ~girlfriend~ gave you those scars?”

 

Read: did someone of the bear’s size stand right up against Riz’s back and claw him from behind? Or was it Riz’s own claws after all?

 

Riz scoffed loudly. “No. No girlfriend.”

 

“Boyfriend?” Gouhin shifted the stethoscope, still pretending to use it as he got another look.

 

Riz scoffed again even louder. “Not that lucky.”

 

Gouhin hummed along. “A nice big guy like you? I’d think you could get anyone you wanted!”

 

The grizzly bear tensed up. “I’m…” There was that hesitation again. “…I’m not nice. …I don’t even know what it means to be a nice guy.”

 

Gouhin had a dozen reasons why that was untrue, all within the last evening - but he also knew enough not to challenge it right now. 

 

The panda spoke gently again, “Hey… kid… My dad wasn’t the ideal father. I fought with him a lot. But we do a lot of things off the books here. I don’t know what all they told you before, but if it makes you feel better, I don’t have to call your parents.”

 

Riz was smart enough to understand what Gouhin was saying and rolled his eyes anyway. “Yeah, my family doesn’t care enough to hurt me. They just aren’t involved.”

 

“Neglect is still harm even if they didn’t hit you.” Gouhin finally asked directly, “How did you get them?”

 

Riz shut it down, “I’m still in pain and it’s been the second worst day of my life. Can we play twenty questions some other time?”

 

Honestly, Gouhin would have been surprised if Riz told the truth. Of course people almost never admit they’re self-harming, but Gouhin still had to try.

 

How people deny things can also tell you a lot.

 

Gouhin shifted his approach easily, “Sorry. Professional curiosity. But I have an idea about that sense of taste of yours! Gotta be sure it isn’t a neurological problem. I’ll be back in a few minutes. You need anything in the meantime?”

 

Riz squinted at the panda. “Neurological? As in what? A brain tumor?”

 

Gouhin was already moving to leave, “Gotta make sure it isn’t one of those, yeah! It’d be unethical to shove you out the door before we figure out if you’re in danger.”

 

The panda was already out the hall before he finished talking, and Riz had no chance to question it. 

 

Of course it didn’t feel right… but Riz was too exhausted to do anything but lie there. 

 

The meds were still dripping. All he could do was wait. 

 

At least he didn’t hurt so much.

*

Gouhin returned about five minutes later with a rolling cart and two plates of various foods. A transparent lid kept the scents from escaping, but still let Riz see what was inside. Each group of food was kept separate in tiny clusters so they wouldn’t be touching. 

 

Riz recognized most of it - but several dark clumps were unknown to him. His nose sniffed automatically when he recognized one and then the bear’s body went tense once more. “Is that… meat?”

 

The machines reading the bear’s vitals displayed a quickening of his heart. Gouhin was glad someone muted that machine already, because he didn’t want Riz to notice it.

 

Gouhin parked the cart next to Riz’s bed on the opposite side of the machine - an excuse for Riz to keep his eyes on that side and not on the silent machine behind him. “Some of it is, yeah. But we should do things in order. Try this first.”

 

Gouhin tried to hand him one kind of vegetable, but Riz was reluctant to accept that either. The younger bear was still focused on the meat. “Is this entrapment? Meat’s illegal.”

 

Gouhin snorted and waved it aside. “Yeah, kid, there’s a massive difference between what’s legal and what’s right - especially when it comes to carnivores. You’re in a back alley clinic that specializes in treating carnivores, and guess what? Carnivores have evolved to need meat.”

 

Then Gouhin picked up a bit of red meat and popped it into his own mouth, looking at Riz all the while as he chewed and swallowed. 

 

Riz looked ready to freak out that fast, sitting up sharply and away from the panda. His pulse was skyrocketing on the silent machine. “You can’t do that! That’s a crime!”

 

Gouhin glanced at the machine, then chose to dramatically roll his head. “Please, I do five illegal things before lunch. This is not even in my top ten worst crimes.”

 

That did not help in the slightest. Riz was still trying to lean back and he had half a mind to rip out the IV. “I don’t know if I’m comfortable working with you anymore.”

 

Gouhin laughed softly and thumped his own chest. “Trust me, kid, I’m the greatest meat specialist you’ll ever find. I know what I’m doing.”

 

Riz glared him up and down. “Apparently not the illegal things.”

 

“ Especially the illegal things.” Gouhin grabbed Riz’s hand and forced the vegetable into it. Gouhin made it a command, “Now eat your veggies and tell me how they taste.”

 

Riz half expected the vegetables to be laced with something, but Riz just wanted to be gone. He gave in and shoved it into his mouth, hoping to get this over as fast as possible - one way or another. 

 

Teeth crunched the veggies, but the flavor was unchanged. “There is no taste.”

 

Riz resisted the urge to spit it out and swallowed the meaningless matter out of spite.

 

Gouhin nodded, wrote that down, then moved onto a different vegetable. The result was the same. 

 

Fruits, the same. Carbs. A few sugary products caused the slightest expression on the grizzly’s face, but still not much.

 

Honey? 

 

As soon as Riz tasted honey, Gouhin saw the change and smirked. “Bingo.”

 

Riz blinked at him several times. “What?”

 

“That,” Gouhin pointed at the honey and the bear, “was a taste.”

 

Riz squinted at him again. “It’s just honey. It’s the only thing that helps with the headaches.”

 

Gouhin nodded along and wrote that down, “Yeah, honey has a lot of properties that are good for your health - especially local honey - and your evolutionary ancestors would have had honey in their diet as well. They’d also eat the grubs in the hive along with the honey, which might link the taste of ‘honey’ to ‘insect protein’ in your brain. That part is conjecture though. Either way, your brain is still getting a hit of dopamine when you taste honey, so if honey helps…” Gouhin delicately picked up a single egg. “Then you should eat this next.”

 

Riz was still looking at him like he was crazy. “A hard-boiled egg?”

 

Gouhin smirked even more. “Nope!” Gouhin held the egg carefully between two claws. “This is a completely ordinary, fresh, uncooked egg.” He carefully handed it over to Riz and told him to, “Eat it raw. Chew it through the shell or just break it and lick it. Those are your options.”

 

Oh the insanity of it. Riz repeated him, “…A raw egg?”

 

“Yup!” Gouhin gave him two big thumbs up, “Completely uncooked.”  

 

Riz insisted, “That cannot be healthy.”

 

Gouhin snorted again, “Then it’s a good thing you’re in a hospital with a building full of medical specialists for carnivores!” He pointed hard at Riz, playfully teasing, “Now eat the silly egg or I’ll have to make you eat the egg, and then where will we be? In a hospital with egg on both our faces.”

 

It took him off guard enough that Riz had a single small laugh. He rolled his eyes again and shook his head. “Fine. Whatever.”

 

Riz didn’t fancy the idea of eating eggshells, so he broke the end of one side with a claw. He held it up to his lips like a very tiny can of soda, and poured the egg into his mouth.

 

The brown bear’s face went through a whole series of expressions - instant surprise, genuine pleasure, further confusion and desire, and he held up the eggshell again and tried to drink more. By that point the shell broke in his hand, but he ended up licking at the broken pieces anyway.

 

Riz had a massive smile on his face, and he couldn’t even remember the last time he smiled like that for real.

 

When that realization hit Riz, his smile faded and he again stared at the smirking panda. “…How did you know that would happen?”

 

“I told you, kid,” Gouhin proudly thumped his chest again. “I’m the greatest meat specialist you’ll ever find. If a raw egg still tastes that delicious, it’s actually a very good sign. Your sense of taste has likely been compromised by a negative experience and nutritional starvation, but it’s not completely gone. With enough time, if you actually work with me, we can probably get it back.” Gouhin nudged a small piece of cooked meat closer to Riz, “Your parents never actually talked to you about meat, did they?”

 

Riz hesitated in replying. Clearly he was fighting some argument in his head, but he finally admitted, “No… My family pays for school and sends me an allowance, and that’s about as involved as they get. I don’t have enough for multiple treatments like that.”

 

Gouhin thumbed over his shoulder, “I thought I told you earlier? I do things off the books. I wouldn’t be charging you, them, or your insurance.”

 

Riz only showed his suspicion. “…Why?”

 

Gouhin snorted. He repeated the question, “Why don’t I charge you?”

 

“Yeah,” Riz said the obvious.

 

Gouhin calmly explained, “Cause believe it or not, you’re not remotely the only person in your situation. If I had to charge every person I help, well, that’s a lot of people suffering on the streets - and as you already saw tonight, when people are left to suffer on the streets, even more people get hurt.”

 

And it sounded so logical when Gouhin put it like that, but Riz had always been at war with himself. Riz kept looking away, “I’m not suffering that much. Those other kids need you more.”

 

Gouhin spoke a little more softly, “You aren’t used to anyone actually helping you, are you?”

 

Riz gave the tiniest scoff and squirmed on the bed. “Every time someone goes out of their way to help me, they end up getting hurt.”

 

Immediately Gouhin joked, “Well, maybe I’m a masochist! What if I like getting hurt??” The panda playfully bopped at his white jaw.

 

Now it was Riz’s turn to snort and he had to cover his eyes. “Louis neglected to mention his specialist was insane.”

 

The smiling panda shook a disapproving finger at him, “Now that’s just being mean to masochists. A person can have a completely healthy life and also enjoy a touch of pain during sex! …You, however, are in your own classification of agony. And the pain you’re in? You didn’t consent to experiencing.” 

 

“Maybe I deserve it anyway,” Riz said without thinking.

 

Bingo.

 

The panda’s smile lost part of its strength. Gouhin spoke more seriously, “And why do you think that’s the case?”

 

“I,” Riz started to speak, then caught himself. He lied, “I don’t think I do. I’m just confused.”

 

Gouhin gently pressed, “No, that was honest. Why… do you think… you deserve to suffer?”

 

Riz’s mouth hung open. He was trying to look at everything in the room aside from the panda. His heart rate was getting faster and faster on the machine, and he started breathing faster, too. “My head is killing me. I’ve been sick all week long. Can we please stop this? Whatever this is. I can’t do it.”

 

Gouhin gave him another few seconds, reading the young bear’s reaction as much as the machines. 

 

Then Gouhin gave a slow nod of the head. “Okay. We can be done for now… but I meant what I said earlier: it would be unethical to let you leave right now while you’re still at such a risk.”

 

Riz started to protest, but Gouhin held out his hands and said, “No. No . You can decide to be done for now, but you can’t choose to leave.” Gouhin’s voice was quiet but firm, “You are a seventeen year-old boy. You are a child and a minor, and you have a long history of being neglected by responsible adults - and I mean your government and school as much as your parents.”

 

The angry young grizzly insisted, “You can’t keep me here.”

 

Someone else might have been intimidated by the teen’s size, but not Gouhin.

 

Gouhin laughed, “I totally can! I’m the head doctor in a back alley clinic and I’ve got three gumis on speed dial and an army downstairs. Quite frankly, if we don’t treat you now, you could die - and you might not care about that, but I do - and I think you do care about the risk of you hurting someone else. Cause if you keep going the way you’re going, then I promise you: someone else will get hurt . But if you work with me, then everybody ends up safer.”

 

Riz didn’t reply.

 

Gouhin finally got around to writing a few more notes in the medical chart. “I’m going to speak to your dorm mother downstairs. I’ll talk to them about some neurological risks and how we need to treat you and keep you under observation for the foreseeable future. If you want, I’ll even explain things to your folks.”

 

The teenage grizzly was silent and thinking. Agreeing to anything felt tantamount to a confession and Riz was already kicking himself for saying too much. He should have just shut up this afternoon. Then none of this would have happened. He finally asked, “…How long is the ‘foreseeable future’?”

 

Gouhin gave another slow shrug and kept writing. “Honestly, that depends on how well you work with me. Could be a few days at best. Could be a few weeks at worst - however long it takes to get you back on your feet and walking straight into your best life.”

 

Riz scoffed again and turned far away. “I don’t know what to tell you, Doc. You really do sound like a masochist.”

 

The panda laughed softly and clicked his pen closed. “You know what? After tonight, I’ll choose to take that as a compliment!”

Notes:

Chapter 55: Fuck around and find out

Summary:

Is he bluffing?

One star rising, one star falling.

“And I never liked your carrot puffs. Never!”

-The two-part Louis-Yafya confrontation is here at last. Long chapter is definitely a double chapter.-

Notes:

Nothing made Louis more upset than his helplessness.

 

Before Louis did anything else in his dorm room, he forced himself to breathe. The red deer’s brain was running away with a hundred different problems, a thousand possibilities. Legosi was racing towards a political thunderstorm and Louis had more experience with politics than both his lovers combined. 

 

Louis couldn’t help thinking that what happened next would be his responsibility.

 

He needed to do something physical before he did something he’d regret. His legs were tired from the running and climbing stairs, but the rest of him was wide awake.

 

He took the bullets from one of his guns and practiced drawing it over and over again - left hand, right hand, left again. 

 

He practiced from one angle, then to another. Years of quick-draw training still demanded some exercise.

 

So many scenes were replaying in his mind: when that jaguar jumped him and he couldn’t reach his gun in time, when those lions attacked his lovers in the park and he shot one lion himself, when he first met Yafya and ate those disgusting carrots, when Free questioned his skills and Louis grazed the lion’s suit with a bullet…

 

…and when that crocodile lost control tonight, there had been a moment when Louis almost drew his gun. 

 

Almost .

 

Louis couldn’t help it. Legosi was in danger and Louis didn’t have the cloth. And it was just an intrusive thought, Louis never gave into it, but the thought was still there.

 

Louis knew who really deserved a bullet tonight. 

 

The trio saved that croc. The lizard. The komodo. That cheetah. Maybe even the tigress. Leano helped others, too.

 

And none of them should have ever needed saving. 

 

Louis wanted to go to war.

 

Louis took out one of the burner phones from Yafya and called the horse. Of course Yafya didn’t pick up. Does he ever pick up the first time? Didn’t matter. Louis left a terse message, “I’ll assume you’re finally doing something about all those kids dying on your streets. So when you’re done with that, if you ever want to hear about Gosha again, we need to talk. Call me .”

 

It was an order.

 

Louis left it there and got onto his computer instead. He started writing an email to half the drama club and several others, to the people he actually trusted with the next endeavor. He couldn’t accomplish this on his own, but he could arrange the dominoes and push.

 

Yafya called back within a few minutes. Louis let it ring three times to spite him, then he picked it up.

 

The horse demanded, “You do not speak to me that way.”

 

“I just did!” Louis shot right back. “And what do you think I’m going to say next??”

 

Yafya sneered near the receiver, “Is that what this is? You wanna be a little kid? Say ‘I told you so’?”

 

Louis insisted, “No, I want you to act like a fucking adult! Show integrity! Take responsibility! How many kids died tonight because of you?”

 

Yafya growled more, “None! I’m not responsible for them and I am certainly not responsible to you!”

 

“You should be!” Louis raised his voice. “You’re the Sublime, Yafya! You’re supposed to be their hero! To look out for carnivores and herbivores, but you didn’t! How many kids, Yafya?? How many got shot?? How many got devoured?? How many did you kill yourself and how many got killed by cops before now because you refused to do anything??”

 

Yafya yelled, “Who the hell do you think you are??”

 

“Louis the fucking red deer, you irresponsible asshat! Who are you?? Not a Manifested Guardian that’s for sure! We told you what was going on! We warned you about what was happening weeks ago! Months ago! We told you about Bloodbone, we told you about its effects! We told you what would happen to these kids and how the police would shoot first, ask questions never! We tried to collaborate with you! The clinic offered to give you everything so you could stop this crisis before it escalated to something like this and you willfully disregarded us! You put me in a place to learn about these express things , but because carnivores were the victims, you didn’t fucking care! You hung up on me rather than-”

 

“I don’t fucking care!” Yafya finally broke in. “I am the Sublime Beastar, in charge of fixing this whole pathetic society. It is my job to handle the nightmares you don’t want to deal with, and some carnivores getting drugged and losing their shit is nothing new! Every carnivore is already a threat waiting to happen and if the cops have to shoot a few, let them! Every life is equally trifling and it’s one less threat! I have bigger things to worry about!”

 

Louis jumped on the tangent, “What, like the drugs getting force-fed to bears??”

 

The dark horse huffed, “Not even remotely on my list of concerns!”

 

Louis insisted, “You already know about them?? What they’re putting bears through??”

 

“Of course I know about them!” Yafya confirmed it outright, “It’s a marvel of legislation! The bears are too strong, too fast, too dangerous to run wild on the streets, and those drugs keep them in line! It keeps their numbers down. And if they don’t take the pills, they get locked up even longer and then they’re definitely off the streets! It’s a win-win situation that makes all of us safer!”

 

Louis didn’t know if he was even shocked. “We’re not all safer!! Those pills are ruining people’s lives, wrecking the bodies and minds of innocents before they ever commit a crime! It’s collective punishment and that’s a war crime !! And you only care because it makes them easier to fight??”

 

The horse hissed near the receiver, “Fight, kick, shoot, kill - anything I need to do to them because I am the one putting those monsters into the ground and you should be grateful . You weren’t complaining when I killed those livestock dealers for you. You ate those carrots right up.”

 

Louis sneered back, “Don’t flatter yourself! You killed them for you, Yafya. You killed them without trial before you even met me, because you thought I’d be grateful, because you wanted me to spy on Legosi’s family for you - and I have to wonder if even that was true! Was there ever a new livestock market or did you just kill a few random carnivores in a cage and call it a day?”

 

Yafya breathed heavily over the phone, “You impertinent, egotistical, rich-boy brat. You have no idea. Gosha is the most dangerous person in the country and he’s still pretending to be innocent. He’s still getting stronger. I will not let him tear down all that I have accomplished - and the same goes for you, brat.”

 

Louis didn’t balk for a second, “ What have you accomplished?? Your garden of murder? Where you bury missing carnivores to make your carrots ‘extra healthy’ for you??” Louis would be using air quotes if only they were in the same room. “While your cops were shooting poisoned kids, Gosha’s gumis were the ones risking death and injury to save them! The kids you didn’t care about!”

 

Yafya yelled back, “You have one job and that’s to report to me !! I am the Sublime and you are a moderately useful, disposable pawn, but if you’re suddenly offended by my carrots now, I’ll use the stick. I can tell the whole world about your childhood. I don’t have to make your records disappear. That contract was always a sham to keep you obedient. It would be so easy to fax your records to every tabloid in the country and then everyone will know that you - are just - lunch .”

 

Louis didn’t reply for several seconds.

 

He let Yafya stew on it.

 

Then, with an utterly manic, maniacal grin, Louis said, “That is true, Yafya… You are absolutely correct… If I want my childhood to stay secret from the world, I’ll have to keep spying for you.”

 

The horse huffed in satisfaction. “That’s right, brat. You have a job to-”

 

Louis didn’t just hang up the burner phone. He just about ripped the battery from the back and shoved it into a growing box of evidence. He made sure the other burner phones were equally disabled.

 

Then he slammed the lid and flicked off the box like it was Yafya himself. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

 

But Louis still had more schemes to move on before he went to bed, and allies to update.

 

He double checked his own smart phone and ended a program on the screen.

……

Legosi was still trying to sleep when Collot started shaking him, “Hey. Hey, Legosi. It’s morning. You gotta get up for class.”

 

All the dogs of 701 were kneeling next to Legosi’s bed and looming closer to his unconscious form. They were still eager to hear Legosi’s side of the story and he promised them answers in the morning…

 

…but morning was here now and the wolf barely even opened his eyes. Legosi saw them, blinked like a sloth… then he slowly turned away and tried to pull the covers over him again.

 

Can I please have another day before… you know, today? Please?

 

The dinosaurs remained unhelpfully silent. 

 

Legosi knew he had to face the consequences of last night sooner or later. Hiding in the covers was only wasting the little time he had, and he definitely didn’t want to look panicked or rushed today either!

 

Best to greet it all with his head held high and surrounded by his roommates.

 

At least they’d understand. They knew about Gosha from the very beginning, before Legosi even arrived on campus. They just didn’t care.

 

Dog packs, you know?

 

Sleepy Legosi tried to sign while he got up and ready, which was a clumsy affair on its own. Sometimes he needed both hands for certain signs, or flubbed them while dressing. He didn’t know if he was making complete sense to Jack. Jack himself might have been panicking over Legosi’s latest shenanigans, and that didn’t help either.

 

Legosi ended up rushing the second half of the story, hurrying to get on the rest of his school uniform - all the bits and pieces of fabric that marked him as a Cherryton student. He was just about to reach for one of his usual scarves, but his hand stopped just shy of it.

 

…It’s hiding…

 

Legosi looked at it again and blinked his eyes awake.

 

I wear a scarf almost every day to hide my scars.

 

His open hand held still in the air.

 

It’s not even part of the school uniform, but I get away with it because my scars make people uncomfortable.

 

They don’t want to see it.

 

Legosi’s jaw locked in resolution.

 

His claws began to close on nothing.

 

Well… I’m going to be plenty uncomfortable today, one way or another.

 

Maybe I want them to be uncomfortable, too.

 

Legosi dug into his drawer of supplies and searched for something very different.

 

As the canid roommates were about to leave for the cafeteria, Jack glanced at him and asked, “Are you forgetting something?”

 

Legosi signed, [Nope.]

 

Jack and Miguno both had a look of concern. Jack pointed to the wolf’s clothes, “What about-”

 

Legosi answered sharply, [I’m ripping off the bandage.] 

 

He didn’t wait for Jack to finish the question, or even for the other dogs to lead. Legosi opened the door and began the fierce walk towards breakfast.

 

He had a fresh name tag stuck over his heart.

 

‘Hello, My name is… Legosi the hybrid.’

 

*

 

Other students were already in the hall, several up ahead of Legosi. 

 

A poodle was about to leave their room, saw Legosi, then immediately stepped back inside. 

 

Legosi kept walking and tried not to care. 

 

Two doors down, a lanky wolf was chatting with a dark wolf in glasses. 

 

As soon as the lanky wolf saw Legosi, the lanky wolf stood at attention and gave him a military salute, laughing, “Demon on deck!”

 

The dark wolf in glasses joined the playful salute. 

 

Legosi wasn’t expecting to smile. He huffed once in amusement and returned the gesture. 

 

At ease, gentlemen.

 

Legosi kept walking, but the small smile remained. His tail swayed slowly behind him.

 

A short Shiba Inu was rushing on his tiny legs, but he did a double-take when he passed Legosi. 

 

“Dude, you rock!” The Shiba Inu started running again almost as soon as the words left his mouth. 

 

Legosi huffed a laugh and signed thanks, but it was up to Jack to yell after the other dog. “He says thank you!”

 

The distant Shiba’s tail wagged faster and he turned a complete circle in excitement, waving, before running on again.

 

Okay, so… maybe this day won’t be terrible after all…

……

Remember that day Legosi saved Louis from the jaguar? His sudden rise in popularity after running Louis to the nurse, for saving his life? The little videos and pictures their classmates were sharing on Beastbook?

 

Legosi couldn’t help but feel like this morning was a repeat of that.

 

Sure, he was getting a nervous side-eye from a lot of herbivores…

 

A number of carnivores were clearly avoiding his gaze as well…

 

But by breakfast a lot of people would have heard about last night’s tragedy, whether by the evening news or articles on the internet. 

 

The worst had been avoided - thanks to the three gumis of all people! But across the city, a lot of people still ended up injured or dead.

 

Cherryton didn’t lose anyone… and that wasn’t thanks to the school staff. 

 

At one point a burly buffalo walked past Legosi’s table and glared suspiciously. “Hey! Are you really-”

 

He didn’t finish his sentence. 

 

Legosi looked up from his breakfast, coldly shoveling rice into his mouth. The buffalo saw the scars on Legosi’s throat and froze.

 

The buffalo quickly turned away. “Nevermind,” he whispered as he walked faster. 

 

Voss and Durham started chuckling first. Legosi slowly faced his roommates again, smirked, and then he huffed a laugh once himself.

 

Legosi got back to eating, but he could still pick out some of the cafeteria gossip. His name was on many lips, and so was the word ‘hybrid.’

 

A little while later, another student got the courage to approach: a female greyhound. The lean dog looked nervous and upset, and couldn’t quite look Legosi in the eye. She shifted awkwardly on the balls of her feet. “Hey, uh, Demon? You were helping with all that last night, right?”

 

A rhetorical question to some extent. Legosi’s mother would have checked the greyhound’s breath like the other female carnivores, but few people knew the full story.

 

Legosi glanced over at Jack, a shared look of ‘can you interpret?’ Legosi signed and Jack said it out loud, “Yes, he was.”

 

The greyhound nodded to Jack, then warily looked at the wolf. “Half the team is gone. They’re not answering texts. They’re - They’re alright, right? Have you heard from them?”

 

Legosi hesitated to say yes or no with the lean dog’s insecurity. He tried to reassure her in another way, [They’re with the best doctors in the city, the people with the most experience in treating this. I haven’t heard from them yet, but if anyone could help your friends, it’s them. …I could give you the clinic’s phone number if you like.]

 

The awkward greyhound gave a slight nod and fussed her phone out of a bag. “Yeah, I’d… I’d appreciate that.”

 

Legosi got out his phone as well and started accessing his contacts list. He stood up from the table and got closer to the greyhound so the dog could read it off the screen. Legosi tapped at the screen to show her. When she was done putting that in, Legosi added, [Can I meet you after class today? You and anyone else on the track team? Cause the people I know will want to find whoever did this and put a stop to it, and you all might have clues for that.]

 

As Jack finished interpreting, the greyhound’s jaw tightened up. Shoulders did the same, and her fists clenched. “If you can do that? Absolutely. …They almost killed half the team, Demon.”

 

[Almost,] Legosi repeated with sobering certainty, [but we stopped that, too.]

……

At the start of first period, Gon addressed the whole school through the PA system. He explained what he could about the drugs, the damage, and the missing students. There were a number of things he wanted to clarify for the formal record (and hopefully to put an end to bad gossip).

 

The old tiger distinctly did not mention anything about Yafya, but Legosi expected that. 

 

Gon did , however, want to thank the students for their quick thinking and cooperation in managing this disaster. 

 

The other local schools weren’t all so lucky. 

 

Gon gave a special mention to Haru the dwarf rabbit by name, and also to Legosi the gray wolf, who saved many lives at great risk to their own.

 

A lot of people in Legosi’s classroom had started to glance at the wolf. A bunch of carnivores were even giving him a thumbs up.

 

Awkward, but not entirely unpleasant…

 

And Legosi thought things were only going to go that far, but the announcement wasn’t over yet.

 

Gon continued, “Our own Beastar, Louis the red deer, was also involved and has asked to say something himself.”

 

Oh no.

 

Ohhhh no…

 

Legosi grit his teeth.

 

Louis’ bright voice sounded so cheery over the PA system. “Thank you, Gon. I appreciate the opportunity. After all, when I first met Legosi, I was just supposed to be his occasional interpreter. But these days, we’re often joined at the hip! He’s my best friend and I only got this far because of him…”

 

The wolf’s tail might have wagged a time or two, but Legosi huffed once in growing concern. 

 

Louis. Louis, what are you doing?

 

“…Legosi has repeatedly and knowingly put himself in great danger to save lives - not just last night, but many nights before. It is not exaggeration to say that many students in Cherryton are only alive this morning because of him.”

 

The mischief was growing in Louis’ voice, “As you can probably tell, I’m extremely proud of him… and I’m also proud to say that in regard to his many efforts to make Cherryton a better, safer place… that the school is considering making him the year’s second Beastar.”

 

The carnivores around school cheered so loud, Legosi had to cover his ears. A number of wolves even howled, and he was pretty sure he heard a few roars as well!

 

Smiling Legosi had to resist the instinct to join, but his broken throat would have just mangled the mood.

 

The PA system caught a nervous whisper from Gon, “Louis, ha, haha, Louis, you were not supposed to say that!”

 

Gon cleared his throat and spoke louder to the school, “Settle down! Settle down, please! That is not an official nomination - yet! …A Beastar is chosen on the basis of many factors and nominating two students in one year is extremely unusual, especially for Legosi’s age…”

 

The tiger had a deep sigh, “…but if the students of Cherryton feel as Louis does, then… please make your voices heard again - outside of class, that is! I’m sure your teachers have a full day planned for you all…”

……

Legosi would have liked to say it was all smooth sailing from there. 

 

He would have liked to be a good student, but it was hard to focus on the teacher’s board. People kept looking at Legosi when they thought he wasn’t paying attention - and he lost count of how many whispered conversations broke out. 

 

More and more students were checking their smart phones under their desks or behind their books.

 

A few people even shrieked and the teachers were getting increasingly annoyed. “The next person I see on their phone will serve the evening in detention!”

 

Yeah, Legosi didn’t want to check his Beastbook account at all today… or this week… maybe not the whole month…

 

By the time lunch rolled around, Legosi was pretty sure he heard the word ‘komodo’ whispered a hundred times.

 

A bunch of people around the cafeteria were also on their smart phones, sharing messages or screens. Their excitement kept bubbling away.

 

When Legosi got in the line for carnivore meals, there seemed to be an even split of people getting out of his way or still wanting to congratulate him, shake his hand or ask for his autograph. ( So weird !)

 

Some of the school’s newspaper even came up and just about begged for an interview later on.

 

Legosi had a lot of other priorities today, but he supposed he could fit in a little time tomorrow or something…

 

Sheila approached him very fast when she saw him in line, but congratulations weren’t on her lips.  

 

The cheetah had a terribly worried look on her face, ears low, shaking her hands out as she tried to whisper, “I messed up. I really messed up! I’m so sorry.”

 

Legosi held out his hands to slow her down. He used simple signs that he hoped she remembered, [Sorry what? What’s wrong?]

 

The normally calm feline was ready to flee. She kept glancing at the others around the cafeteria, whispering, “Last night. Everything was going wrong and everyone was in danger and you said that thing about your family - and then the others were worried about you for the same reason because venom and I told them, but then they told other people, and other people, and I keep hearing it. I messed up. Everyone knows!”

 

Legosi was impressed she didn’t yell that last part. He tried to slow her down several times, but clearly she’d been panicking about this all morning. 

 

[You’re okay. It’s fine. You did good.]

 

The cheetah seemed entirely unable to rationalize that. She kept glancing around and bothered to sign, [How? Fine?? Everyone knows!]

 

Legosi pointed to the name tag on his shirt and reassured her, [Yes… and they needed to know.]

 

Sheila knew the signs, could read the tag, but was struggling to believe that right now.

 

Legosi had to gesture for Jack to actually speak the next part. [I’m okay. …Thank you for thinking of me. And for handling the venom so I could save the komodo. We saved lives last night… and that’s a good thing.] 

 

[Everything else is… just an inconvenience.]

 

Jack managed to sound a bit more confident than Legosi felt, but that was still A-Okay…

 

I’m just riding out the wave… that’s all… Just letting it carry me from today into tomorrow, one moment at a time…

 

*

 

Haru was still in a state of shock when she and Louis got back from the herbivore lines. Her ears were particularly animated as she said, “They clapped for me! My class! They clapped! Carnivore and herbivore students!” Her eyes went even wider and she almost fell out of her chair, “I can’t remember the last time anybody cheered for me!”

 

Legosi was trying to eat his sandwich, but signed with just one hand when he could, or while still holding the sandwich in the other. [And you deserve it and a lot more. But seriously, Louis?] He turned more suspiciously on the deer, [Gon is going to be pissed.]

 

Louis chuckled to himself and signed very small, [Please! Gon was in on it the whole time.]

 

Legosi squinted at him. Haru wasn’t sure if she understood and said, “Wait, what?”

 

The red deer smirked like a terrible monster and toyed with a stalk of celery like a cigar. “It’s called plausible deniability. He couldn’t have said those things without getting in trouble. I , however, will be graduating, so the powers-that-be can’t really do much to me.”

 

Legosi sighed heavily when he put it together. [Oh my rex, you worked it out with him ahead of time.]

 

Louis chomped off a big part of the celery stalk and smirked even more. “Yyyyup!”

 

Haru traded her own celery for some of Louis’ carrots. “It’s always a scheme with you, isn’t it?”

 

“No,~” the deer joked about it, “but I have a monthly quota of schemes and I am way behind!” Louis happily accepted the new celery. “This seemed as good an opportunity as any!”

 

But then an actual komodo had been walking by, completely stopped, then stared directly at the wolf.

 

Haru called him out on it, “Something bugging you, big guy?”

 

The komodo glanced at her, but then kept staring at Legosi and the nametag and he started smiling big. “No way, dude. No way!”

 

The reptile’s amusement was somehow entertaining. Legosi huffed a laugh. [Yes, way.]

 

The komodo came closer and tried to whisper, “It was real? You’re really … real ??”

 

Legosi knew what he meant without needing to ask for more. [1/4th, yeah. My mom’s dad.]

 

Louis barely finished interpreting before the komodo quietly swore, “That’s so fucking cool. I didn’t even know that could happen!” The komodo drummed on the edge of the table and stood back up, “So cool! I gotta tell the guys! They’re gonna flip!!”

 

Louis smirked and Haru chuckled to herself. She pointed at the departing komodo with her carrot, “Now that is the appropriate reaction! We need more of that and less of the purists.”

 

Legosi really hoped that was a good idea, but he had other things to keep his focus. He still had the afternoon classes and then the track team to talk to, and Legosi really wanted to check in with his family tonight if nothing else…

 

He caught a glimpse of the komodo talking to other reptiles around the cafeteria. Another komodo made eye contact with the wolf and hesitantly formed the letter ‘P’ with his hands, the Dokugumi’s gang sign. 

 

With a slight roll of his eyes, Legosi humored him and made it back.

 

They cackled in excitement and a dramatic chameleon playfully fell from his chair. 

 

Legosi shook his head and huffed another laugh.

……

Having Haru and Louis with him was definitely going to make the track team talk easier. So the trio went together to meet them at the gym.

 

The greyhound was there waiting with a handful of their other members, most of which were herbivores. Half the track team was still at Gouhin’s clinic by that time, but most of those were already stabilized. Gouhin wanted to keep them under observation a little longer just to be safe, but some of them were already texting their friends at school. If nothing else, the trio could pass on the good news to the rest of them. 

 

It still wasn’t easy getting a straight answer. Emotions were still pretty high. The team kept contradicting each other or talking over each other.

 

“I remember this one guy. Really dark fur.” “A labrador?” “No way! It was a panther!” “Yeah, that guy! Gave me a really weird vibe.” “Brawny.” “Especially for a cat!” “A few were shorter! The short one might have been the dog.” 

 

“I thought it was a binturong.” “What the hell is a binturong?” “No, those are way bigger.” “His eyes were small. You know, like buttons.” “Tail was super poofy!” 

 

“Maybe a pomeranian!” “Well, the tallest one definitely had spots!” “Eh?? The panther was way bigger! He just slouched!” “Lanky guy didn’t! Was he a cheetah?” 

 

“Shit! I can’t remember. Did he have those marks by his snout?” “I’m not sure it was ‘he.’ It might have been a ‘she.’ Like, uh… I think she was, like… fluttering her eyelashes at me?” “Seriously, Rick?” “Hey, I’m trying to help! I don’t see you contributing!”

 

Haru was trying to record it all in shorthand, but it didn’t help that they were all over the place. She was going back and forth in her notepad.

 

Louis tried to focus and guide them. “Species will help, but we need more specifics. A photo, a name! Eye color, scarring, unusual markings on their fur or faces, their tone of voice…”

 

Legosi told him to ask, [Earings or accessories, their posture, an accent, a unique scent, a chipped claw, a finger that broke and healed wrong, anything…]

 

One of the runners grunted, another one groaned. “They were all wearing pants and windbreakers or something.” “Like they were on a track team, too.” “So we couldn’t actually see much aside from their faces or hands…” “And we were on a group run, so we didn’t really stop long at all…”

 

An antelope clapped her hands and spoke up, “Dark circles! The brawny panther guy! He had these really pronounced dark circles under his eyes!”

 

Haru focused on that, “Dark circles like he was tired or on drugs, or dark circles like a shadow? Like his eyes were sunken in?”

 

The antelope’s enthusiasm vanished as fast as it arrived. “I - dammit, I thought I had it. I don’t know.”

 

Legosi sighed as well. [So about the only thing we do know… is there’s a lack of major identifying characteristics…]

 

Haru looked back and forth through her shorthand and she had to admit, “We’ve barely got anything to actually go on… and even if we found them as a group, that's circumstantial at best.”

 

Legosi signed more directly to her, [Yeah, but maybe that was the point… The distributors were carnivores but otherwise forgettable.]

 

Louis spoke that aloud automatically, but a gazelle raised her hand, “I’m sorry, uh, huh? The point of what?”

 

Legosi’s ear flicked and he further signed his explanation. [Forgettable by design. Whoever pulled off something this big had to know the city would be coming after them. If they minimized identifying features or even worked through a proxy, that would make them much harder to track down.]

 

A male zebra let slip, “When did you get so smart?” Two of the team yelled at him, but he was already slapping his own mouth in horror, “I am so sorry! I don’t know why I said that!”

 

The zebra bowed rapidly several times, but the track team was still giving him shit. 

 

Legosi felt a flash of annoyance, but it dimmed with the apology. [I’ve always been smart. I just can’t talk in your language.] Legosi might have said more but caught the scent of something else on the air. Ears perked up, he sniffed on purpose and looked around…

 

A minor mob of reptiles had left one building and were now on approach. They were wearing the school uniform, but it had to be two dozen at least and maybe more. Several brawny reptiles were in the front, including two big crocodiles and some komodo as well.

 

It was obvious they were headed straight for the track team and the trio, and Legosi’s ears angled like he expected a fight.

 

Legosi took a few steps closer, but Louis was already raising his voice, “Do you all need something?”

 

The slight sharpness of it made the smaller reptiles hesitate and look again to the bigger ones. One of the crocs and a few of the komodo were getting a smirk. They jostled each other, unsure who should actually speak up, until an alligator got her grit. She spoke back, “Actually, we just wanted to say something in person.”

 

A lizard laughed, “Dude, you’re crazy!~” A chameleon tried to cover the lizard’s mouth, “Not that! We weren’t gonna say that!”

 

It did deflate some of the tension though. An amused Legosi huffed out a breath. He gestured for them to keep speaking, circling his hand through the air in front of him.

 

The gator squinted her eyes at the lizard, “Okay, maybe some of us wanted to say that,” she opened her arms out wider, “because we heard and saw what all happened, and Gon made that comment about making ourselves heard, so… we wanted to do that.”

 

A small snake leaned around her, “Yeah, and there aren’t many reptiles at Cherryton to begin with, so it’s not like we have a big voice, but-”

 

A croc patted the snake’s upper back, “But you went, way, way beyond the call of duty last night.”

 

Legosi recognized one of the komodo from earlier at lunch. The komodo looked a bit more uncomfortable to admit, “Yeah, and… pretty much every other mammal would have just shot us. I mean, reptile us: a saltwater croc, a komodo, in those situations?”

 

The gator and the croc both grimaced and so did a few others. The croc pretended his hand was a gun and aimed it at himself, “Bang. We’d be dead.”

 

The greyhound from the track team interrupted because it seemed relevant, “It’s the same for us. Half the team could’ve been dead or in prison if it weren’t for Legosi and his mom.”

 

The gator nodded her appreciation for the assist, then finally got back to the real point, “So we all wanted to tell you in person: the reptiles of Cherryton have your back, Legosi, and the whole school is absolutely gonna hear from us. …No offense, Louis, but it would be so cool if Legosi was the Beastar, too.”

 

The deer had his hands in his pockets by that point and gave a laugh. “None taken! I’d love it, too.” Louis shot a sly look at the wolf, “He is my best friend. I’d be glad to share the title.”

 

Legosi’s tail had begun wagging at some point. His ears had lowered slightly with a sense of modesty, and he had to scratch the fluff of his cheek for a second. He probably looked a bit poofier with the blush. [Thank you for your support, everybody. …I’d like to say I only did what anybody would do, but… my grandpa is a komodo, and he did give me special training… so when everything was happening last night, I realized that, too… that I had to get there first … or our classmates could die…]

 

And by the time Louis finished interpreting, the gang of reptiles were all smiling a bit more.

 

The excitable komodo even raised his voice, “Yeah, I don’t care what kind of special training you had, you dived off a building for us. I’m still tripping out about it!”

 

A few more reptiles laughed about that and agreed.

 

Happy Legosi had a self-conscious wince, [Yeah, uh, I’d prefer it if people didn’t mention the jumping part. Aoba is a close friend, but the administration is not going to like that.]

 

The komodo chuckled and crossed his arms, “Little late for that, buddy. Like half the city has seen it by now.”

 

Legosi’s tail halted in mid wag. [Huh?] His head tilted to the left, [There were like forty people up there?]

 

Louis sounded just as confused when he relayed that, and then there were a few more giggles from the crowd. 

 

The grinning gator had to ask, “Have you not seen the videos yet?” The komodo got out his smart phone so he could show it to Legosi himself, “You’re going viral, Beastar! They aren’t calling you the Guardian Demon of Cherryton anymore. They’re calling you the Guardian Dragon , Legosi the Dragon Wolf.”

 

The view count had somehow already passed half a million and was on the rise.

 

Legosi immediately screamed inside his head.

 

He dimly remembered students wanting to record the fencing duel, but it didn’t occur to him that they might post the disaster online!

 

The video started with Legosi reluctantly agreeing to the spar, the other fencers trying to put the jacket on him…

 

Someone had even provided a voice-over as commentary, “Look look look look! You can pinpoint the exact moment he realizes something is wrong.” 

 

The vid shifted into slow-motion as Legosi sniffed at the air and tried to concentrate. It shifted back to full speed as he threw the helmet at one drinker and then leapt for the croc in another direction. “Practically precognitive poochy!”

 

The current Legosi shot a wide-eyed glare at Louis and the deer put his hands up, “I did not do that, I swear!”

 

Legosi wheezed loudly and tried to hurry through the rest of the vid, how much else had been posted. It had the whole wrestling with the croc, the silent communication to Louis, Louis telling everyone to close their mouths and Legosi breathing in so deep…

 

…Legosi grabbing Aoba, jumping off the building… The video shook as the recorder ran to follow, looked down from the building’s edge, and just barely caught a glimpse of an unharmed Legosi sprinting across the campus. 

 

There was a skip as the recorder ran downstairs and found an OK Aoba brushing dirt off his clothes. The eagle was flustered and half explained, half complained, “I train with him a lot, so I’m going to assume he knew we’d be fine - but I’m still going to have words with him later!”

 

The recorder then ran on to where Sheila was marking the venom, heard her explaining Legosi’s hybrid immunity. Shocked runners hurried even more and then finally found Legosi with Rokume and their drugged track classmate.

 

The recorder even posted the part with Savon and Leano and how venom-proof Legosi hastened to check everyone else in the crowd.

 

Legosi could not tell if his heart had stopped or just sped up so fast, he couldn’t feel apart the beats. He looked at the view count again like maybe he read it wrong the first time, but NO. It was literally over half a million and going up.

 

And this was just ONE reaction vid and even more people were sharing theirs, or posting other angles of the night in question.

 

Legosi’s hand was almost shaking as he gave the phone back, signed something, then ran away like he was trying to break every land speed record at once.

 

Two of the track team actually swore. The komodo also freaked out, “What?? What was that?? What did he say??”

 

Louis tugged at his shirt collar. “I’m pretty sure that was ‘Thank you for the information,’ and possibly ‘I’m going to die now.’”

 

A moment later, Louis added, “I think he meant call his mom.”

 

“Ohhhh…” The track team and the reptiles all nodded understandingly. “Yeah.” “That fits.” “He’s dead.”

……

Okay, Louis had an itty bitty tiny hand in that, and he DID cop to that later.

 

Legosi did an unsmart thing and took a heavier dose of his anxiety rescue medicine. It slowed the wolf way, way down… The trio still got a ride to see Legosi’s family at the Shishigumi’s mansion, and clearly they had a lot to talk about…

 

Because Louis definitely had NOT forgotten they were being recorded last night. He’d been hoping that they could find a copy! He figured they could use it to jumpstart Legosi’s bid for a nomination, get Legosi the credit he deserved!

 

He’d even asked some of their friends to be thinking and talking about it with others around Cherryton, brainstorm other ways for Legosi to be acknowledged…

 

Yet Legosi suddenly going viral? The hybrid hero, the Dragon Wolf, who wrestles the largest crocs, jumps off buildings, runs a desperate kilometer that fast to save a single komodo, and then so many more?

 

Last night was a disaster across the entire city and so many schools suffered, and Legosi took the floor as an unexpected beacon of heroism.

 

And it didn’t take long for people to start posting other videos and sharing the other Cherryton rumors, all the stories of him protecting and caring for herbivores in the night, standing up to bullies, the way he stopped a feral jaguar and ran an injured Louis to the nurse…

 

…all the rumors that he was working on some secret project with Louis for the Sublime Beastar himself…

 

His scars were iconic. 

 

His talent, prodigious. 

 

Once upon a time, Yafya was a hero who faced the darkness with his own body, but he hadn’t made an appearance in the news in literal years. Yafya had refused to talk with reporters even longer than that. 

 

Well, Yafya’s absence was Legosi’s opportunity. 

 

And there were people all across the city who had run into Legosi near the back alleys, for one reason or another. They remembered the silent wolf who protected travelers, the red deer following close behind, the sick carnivores who were brought in for a particular clinic’s treatment…

 

And no one had mentioned the black market or the Dokugumi yet, but the worry was always there.

 

The team tried to get a handle on what they should do next, coordinate and plan for the immediate future, but eventually Legosi fell asleep right there on Gosha’s couch. The initial panic was gone, the meds were in his system, and he didn’t exactly get much sleep last night either.

 

They all decided to let him rest right there. Someone could drive him back to Cherryton when he woke up on his own.

 

Haru still wanted to follow up with the clinic and Gouhin, and Louis figured he should update Gosha about the conflict with Yafya as well…

 

So by the time all of that had been settled and the two teens were driven back, it was definitely past curfew at Cherryton.

 

Louis was the only one walking the herbivore halls to his private room. 

 

Energy drinks continued to fill his veins. Maybe he could do a bit more before crashing into bed himself…

 

And then Louis found a bunch of photos on his bed.

 

He rolled his eyes at it, but he was barely surprised. He picked up one of the photos and gazed at the image of him hugging and kissing Legosi.

 

A note made their origin obvious.

 

{The garden rooftop. Now. Y.}

 

Louis allowed himself a single, dangerous smirk. 

 

Well then… Round 2 already?

 

So be it. 

 

Louis took out his phone and hit a number on speed dial. It only took a ring before they picked up and Louis said brightly, “Hey, Ozone!~ Yeah, it’s showtime already. Run a few extra distractions for me. You should have the car come back, too, I might need them in a few minutes.” 

 

Louis double checked his pockets for certain items, before he left his room and took the back stairwell.

 

Thankfully, it was good that it was past curfew. No one else would be up there, and same for the other roofs.

 

Louis opened the door to leave the stairwell, a critical eye on shadows and blind corners - the walls and the plants he was familiar with. He could minimize angles for distant snipers at least.

 

Several photos were left a few meters from the door - clearly to draw him in and cut off his escape back down the stairs.

 

Let Yafya think he’s in control.

 

Louis took several measured paces away from the door and didn’t bother turning around.

 

Yafya promptly shut the door, but Louis was looking at the photos instead. Louis bent at the knees and began picking them up.

 

Yafya had a few more photos in hand and he approached the deer’s back. “You know, I always had my doubts about you… The speech you gave to that school? It disgusted me, but I have to play the public all the time. They’re stupid. Don’t even know what’s in their best interest. It’s only natural that you would need to fake some naive sense of justice on a stage…”

 

Yafya began to circle the kneeling deer and started dropping a few more photos around Louis. The horse kept taunting him, “Tricking an old monster like Gosha took balls, but it wasn’t beyond the scope of belief. Same with playing the lover of a teenage half-breed…” 

 

“…But I kept telling myself you’d have to be crazy to think you could actually play me and live…” Yafya stopped moving to glare at another picture of Louis and Legosi hugging after a night of panic, and Yafya looked disgusted. “Yet after the way you dared to speak to me last night, it proved to me without a shadow of a doubt… that you really are just a suicidal basketcase.”

 

The red deer was gently shaking. Louis still didn’t look up from the ground.

 

Yafya flicked the last photos onto the floor, and the red deer hurried to pick them up. Yafya stood to his full height and threatened the miniscule herbivore, “This is the part where you try desperately to apologize. Maybe if you bow down and grovel, I won’t bury you with everyone else I turn into fertilizer. But you’re basically a child. Kids do stupid things all the time, and despite how monumentally stupid you’ve been, you still might be useful to me and have you completely lost your mind? Are you seriously laughing right now?”

 

That wasn’t trembling from fear. Louis snorted outright. 

 

The horse put his shoe on Louis’ shoulder and kicked the deer backwards.

 

It knocked Louis down onto an elbow, and that certainly hurt, but the red deer was barely bothered. One hand tried to cover his mouth as he slowly sat back up. Laughter and mockery were both clear on Louis’ face, and he had to shake his head. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but this is sad .” 

 

Louis gestured up and down the giant’s physique and then Louis scoffed another laugh, “This is so sad! You are the Sublime Beastar, more than 50 years old, more money and power than you know what to do with, and what is it that gets under your skin? A highschool student yelled at you on the phone. Are you really that insecure, or are you just completely garbage at talking to people who aren’t terrified of you?”

 

The dark horse stood taller, an attempt to loom closer to the deer. “You’re certifiable. You really have no idea who you’re dealing with.”

 

Louis snorted and waved the photos in the air, “Oh, I do! I really do. That’s why it’s so sad.” The red deer slowly stood back up and kept talking, “You’re obsessed with perfection and control. I hung up on you like you hung up on me and you couldn’t stand that. So you came here in person to intimidate me with your ginormous body and license to kill - a 51 year-old man here to pick on a kid less than half your size - assuming that if you towered over me and made a few death threats, I’d get scared and bend over.” 

 

Louis put the photos in his jacket and brushed off the dirt. “Again, that’s sad . That’s playground bully tactics. Were you like this with Gosha or did you regress at some point in the last 36 years?”

 

The horse huffed angrily, those massive limbs ever closer to violence. He hit his right fist into his left hand and started cracking his knuckles. “Oh, you are far from the playground, meatsack. You think you have it all figured out? You think you’re untouchable - and that is laughable.” Yafya twisted into a single kick that shattered a nearby wall like a spider’s web. “This is a service . This is courtesy . This is your last chance to make things right, before you find out exactly why they call me the Black Devil.”

 

Louis gave an unaffected roll of his eyes and shooed him away with a hand, “Oh, yeah, I figured out all that on the first night I met you. Please try to keep up, Yafya. You’re embarrassing yourself.” Louis put both hands into his pockets, but then took out his left hand again with another photo. He casually began examining it, “I like this one. Long-range camera, high angle, but it works. My dad hardly ever smiles. I’m getting this framed.”

 

The black horse huffed even more and rubbed the mane back from his eyes. He chose to laugh, too. “It’s like talking to a stone wall: completely stupid, zero brains, no self-preservation at all. You’re an actor and you still think you can act your way out of this one.” 

 

Yafya turned towards the stairwell door, walking away from Louis one slow step at a time. “This doesn’t end with me killing you. This ends when you regret ever existing.” Step. Step. “Your livestock record going public, that’s just the start. I’ll destroy your dad’s company. Horns will be ruined. Oguma will die, probably by suicide, but I’ll make sure he disowns you before I’m through with him. And then? Then I’ll go after your friends…” Yafya put his hand on the door. “…your club of simpletons. Your white whore. And especially Gosha’s dumb, worthless abomination .”

 

The gun rang out before Yafya even saw it. Then the horse screamed in pain, a fresh bullet hole through his right knee. “Fucker!!”

 

Louis held the smoking gun still aimed at the horse’s body. If Yafya hadn’t been holding the door, Yafya would have dropped to the ground immediately. He was still barely able to stand on one leg. 

 

How nice of Yafya to put all that distance between them.

 

The deer’s face was remarkably composed, frigid and fearless. “That was a warning shot.”

 

Yafya sneered through clenched teeth, “You’re supposed to miss with a warning shot!”

 

“I missed your femoral artery.” Louis shrugged. “Be grateful. That was a choice. But you don’t get to talk like that and walk away unscathed.”

 

Yafya’s hand was squeezed so tight above the knee, as if trying to make a tourniquet from the rage in his fingers. “Ohhh, now you’re fucked. Now you’ve really fucked it up for yourself. You’re going to regret not shooting to kill. You really think I’ll give you a second chance to pull the trigger?”

 

He didn’t even finish the word ‘trigger’ before Louis shot him in the left shoulder. The horse screamed bloody murder, lost his grip on the door and fell on his one good knee.

 

The deer was holding his gun as still as ever. Louis sarcastically answered, “‘I think.’ Therefore I did! Wow, that was easy.”

 

Louis reached into his jacket and pulled out a second gun. “You keep threatening me and thinking I’m going to hesitate. The only reason your brains aren’t on that wall this second is because it would make Gosha sad . …Less so after he hears the recording of this, but hey! There’s still time for a hat trick. Try me again. Want to find out where I’ll shoot you next?”

 

The twice-shot horse was glaring up with eyes full of death, nostrils flaring for each strained breath. It was clearly a challenge to even stay vertical. “You’re so stupid. You can’t even see what he’s doing. We can’t stop Gosha if-”

 

Louis raised his voice, “‘We’?? Fucking rex, you still don’t get it!!” One gun aimed at Yafya’s head to make a point. “Gosha! Isn’t! The bad guy! We are !! You and me! Because you have no problem killing people if it means you get your way, and me because your suffering is music to my ears!”

 

Drool threatened to escape the horse’s clenched teeth. Yafya swayed on his one good knee and nearly fell. “Venomous dinosaur, a carnivore and a killer. Cold-blooded in every sense. Biding his time until I was too old to stop him and stacking the deck so everyone believes his innocence - but I see him. I see through him. He’s not in my blindspot anymore. We could have made everything perfect together from the start, but he didn’t want that! And now he’s raising an army of every meat-eating lowlife and they’re kissing his feet.”

 

That time, Louis resisted the urge to shoot him again. He even resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Fuck, is it really that simple? …Your motivations, your judgements, your hatred… That’s what it all comes down to, isn’t it?” 

 

Louis mocked the idea, “~Oh, if only Gosha stayed your bodyguard, you could have fixed everything! ~Oh, if only Gosha chained himself to your shadow, you could have made the world ~perfect!~ Gosha would have completed you, your tiny 10 degree blind spot, but he chose to look out for his baby instead! ~What a selfish, bloodthirsty monster.~ You wanted him to abandon her and he said no!!” 

 

Louis let the condescension ring in his voice, “~Oh, I see it now, Yafya. It must be Gosha’s fault! You’ve just been the most powerful, influential man on the continent for decades. A man you haven’t seen in 36 years is clearly responsible for every problem and decision you’ve ever made! It can’t possibly be your fault that your life’s work is incomplete!~” 

 

“It’s 10 fucking degrees, Yafya, of 360! It’s not even 3%, it’s a sliver! You turn your head a million times a day !! Even more in a fight!! It’s not hard! Like this!”

 

Louis quickly shot a bullet off to the side at a small moving target, “Back off, rats! I’m talking to Yafya and for once in his life, he will bloody well listen! If I even think one of you rats is moving, I blow his brains out right now!”

 

Two rats promptly put their hands up and several more shouted for mercy from the shadows. One rat nearly fainted at how close that bullet came to his body and he was hyperventilating.

 

Louis kept the one gun aimed at the clump of rats and the other at Yafya. The horse was still a mass of fury and hate. Louis demanded, “You need to get this through your head if nothing else: you just want Gosha to be the villain!” 

 

Fury hesitated.

 

Louis insisted, “You just need him to be the villain! But that doesn’t make it true!”

 

The horse’s body was locking up. 

 

“You spent your whole life murdering your way to some fascist ideal of perfection. You bragged about sacrificing everything for that goal, not caring about anyone or letting anyone close - and you’re finally aging out! That was one of the first things you told me: that you needed to hurry cause your life was running out! And here at the end of the road, your fantasy of perfection is still beyond your sight and you need someone to blame !” 

 

The dark horse was staring him down. Louis could see the neck muscles bulging in his silhouette.

 

But Louis refused to flinch. “And the sooner you own up to that, the sooner you can be the friend that Gosha actually deserved!” 

 

Yafya might have blinked.

 

Twist the verbal knife. 

 

Louis told him outright, “I used to be just like you before Legosi called me out on it, chasing impossible perfection just like you! I hated carnivores just like you! I thought I was willing to do anything to become Sublime, but Legosi stopped me. He made me think! And listening to him made me better than I could have ever been on my own…”

 

“…and I know for a fact that Gosha didn’t want this life for you either. I’ve talked to him more in half a year than you did in your whole life! When was the last time you actually listened to Gosha? Not to what you think he’s saying in that deluded brain of yours, but what he really is! You can’t have missed it when he called the news station!” 

 

Louis tried to copy the reptile’s tone, “‘ Please! We have to work together or more kids are going to die! Please, they’re just kids! They didn’t deserve this!’ He was talking to you, too, and you know it!”

 

The horse was starting to look weaker. The tension in his body was declining along with his blood.

 

“That sweater-vest grandpa was crying and begging for you to listen, the same way he has for 36 years! He only took over those gumis to save Legosi’s life, but one of the first things he did was call you! He wanted to make things easier for you! He hoped you might even be happy when he started fixing up the back alleys, shutting down the hyperdrug clinic and the turf wars, and we tried to get you involved with Bloodbone long before this!” 

 

Louis spit off to the side. “And that’s the saddest part, Yafya! That’s the biggest tragedy of all: you chose to end that friendship! Gosha never stopped trying to be your friend! He reached out to you over and over again for 36 years! I’ve seen the fucking Rexmas pictures! They had a plate for you every year and you decided you’d rather spite him than be friends with him…” 

 

“…And why, Yafya?? Why?? Because you didn’t want Gosha to be a dad! You didn’t want him to be a father ! After six months of them dating, Toki was pregnant with an interspecies child and you just couldn’t allow it! You were totally okay with him risking his life for you every night, but raising a hybrid kid? ~No, that’s going too far!~” 

 

Louis couldn’t help from sneering at that logic. “Do you hear that? Is that line processing in your head right now? You are more comfortable with Gosha dying for you, than living with a happy, hybrid family. And if he wasn’t willing to die for you, then you couldn’t be happy for him either!” 

 

The red deer took a step forward and spoke softer, “Have you ever thought of that? In 36 years, have you ever tried to imagine being happy for Gosha? To be happy because your friend is happy and loved ? Have you ever stopped to think how lonely he was, stuck in a society where carnivores are constantly derided as monsters - like you’re still doing right now? And even other carnivores treat him that way because of his venom…” 

 

“…Gosha finally had a happy, loving family of his own, a wife and child… and you would have taken that from him.”

 

Maybe it was shame, but Yafya couldn’t look at Louis anymore.

 

Louis took a step backwards and stood up straighter, because maybe that was just wishful thinking on his part. Maybe it was just blood loss hanging Yafya’s head. 

 

So many maybes…

 

He couldn’t trust Yafya even now. Louis spoke on, “And the fact he still cares so much for you is galling to me. Leano and Legosi, fuck, even Gosha, have all had a better life without you, and I repeat: the only reason your brains aren’t on that wall is because he would be sad. You became the predatorial offender he never was. But you know what? I think I’d manage just fine with your death on my conscience…”

 

“…So I’m going to ask you a question and depending on what you say, I’ll let your rats stop you from bleeding out - or I’ll save Gosha’s family from ever having to deal with you again.” Louis pulled back the hammer on his gun to make a point. “When you heard Gosha on the news that night… what … did you actually do behind the scenes?”

 

For several seconds it seemed like Yafya had nothing to say.

 

The black horse was distinctly short of breath by that point, rage diminished to a point of old embers, and something in Louis’ words finally dug deep enough to make a mark. Yafya whispered, “I told the police… to listen to him… to work with the gumis and not arrest them… I told them all to holster their weapons, and restrain those carnivores by hand…” 

 

Louis was watching him closely, examining his expressions and tone as well - one actor analyzing another. Louis kept the one gun aimed at Yafya, but carefully lowered the second from the rats. “You should have taken your own advice - if that wasn’t actually a lie. That’ll make Gosha very happy. Rats? Feel free to treat him if you even want to.”

 

Only a few of the rats actually dared to move, but they hurried to help with his shoulder and knee.

 

Yafya summoned his last strength to complain, “It’s awfully late for you to trip at the finish line… A Beastar must be insane and sadistic. Oh, you’ve got both of those qualities like nobody else. But banking on the hope I’ll take some moral high road? You should just kill me now.”

 

The red deer stretched out his limbs with remarkable ease, gun still aimed at the horse’s gut. “Oh, I’m not hoping, Yafya. You’ve ‘sacrificed everything’ - including your relationship with Gosha - and the illusion of your accomplishments are all you really have left… But we’re living in a digital age now and when we first met, you never actually confiscated my smart phone, and then you gave me a bunch of burner phones and didn’t even bother to distort your voice…”

 

“…So it was extremely easy to record every conversation we’ve ever had… every heartless remark and admission to murder, the way you brag about getting to bury anyone in your garden without trial or record - to say nothing of your utter disdain for the public, for the lives of children and carnivores, and even the people you work with…” 

 

There was a flicker of something in the horse’s face as the sudden realization sank in. 

 

With his free hand, Louis pointed at the city in the distance, “…and those recordings have been encrypted, copied and disseminated to dozens of people and places across the planet. It might even be hundreds now… I told people to pass them on with the same orders, so even I don’t know who all has them by now or what servers the programs are running on. Thumb drives are your friend! I made a lot of paper copies as well. Your rats could find and stop some, sure, but they won’t be able to track it all down…”

 

There was that something again: not outright panic, more a sudden awareness of gravity in the absence of stable ground. Calculations turned rapidly behind Yafya’s weakening eyes, many involving violence, none landing on victory.

 

Yafya’s quiet fear still pleased the deer greatly. Louis allowed himself a subtle brag, “…I’ve been preparing for this eventuality since the very first night we met… so if you kill me or anyone close to me - if we’re hurt, disappear, or get arrested, get threatened, if you even sneeze wrong in our direction, or at Horns, then all those people and computer systems will act automatically…”

 

“…Everything you have done and said is going to flood the public in every direction imaginable. Online, offline, in this country and beyond it. It’s even out in the sea on nomadic pods! That was hard to arrange, I must say, but hey! I know people. Good luck with those! Thousands of kilometers from here in every direction…” 

 

“…I don’t need to do anything or even be alive for it. And I can’t change those programs either, cause I knew you’d try to threaten me and my loved ones like this eventually. Sorry, sport , but the choice is already outside of my hands and no amount of your death threats can undo that now… You’ll just bring it all crashing down around you…” 

 

It was Louis’ turn to look down on the horse, “And I’ll tell you a secret: I never cared about that contract for my market records. I knew you wouldn’t honor it. I just insisted on it so that you could have the illusion of control… which… you fell for… Thank you for so consistently underestimating me and for giving me all these months to prepare for your downfall…” 

 

Louis rolled his eyes and shrugged like he didn’t even care at this point, “And sure , you can kill me without being tried for it in court, but you get it by now, don’t you? Your license to kill won’t protect your ‘guardian’ image or your ‘perfect’ legacy. The whole world will hear all about the real Black Devil in his very own words. An herbivore with the government’s blessing to kill, erase, and consume the members of an oppressed minority… all for your nutrition… predator …” 

 

“…Three decades of farming all those carrots all year round… You will be the most hated, reviled, disgraced Beastar in history, and they will tell your story for centuries to come. The fall of a manifested deity. The devourer of hundreds! Every carnivore who went missing over the last thirty years, you will be accused of and blamed for - whether you killed them or not…”

 

Twist the verbal knife. Twist it deep.

 

“…And just think, Yafya… you could have been granted any wish of your choosing… You could have provided the nation with free housing, free healthcare, free college education for everyone, enhanced disability supports, retirement funds, child care, taxed the rich, offered a universal basic income, revised the legal system in a way that actually supports people of all species, turned around the whole market system so there’s never an accidental devouring ever again, an end to all those bloody turf wars and carnivore starvation! Any of those! Any wish ! And you just chose… murder… devouring… with extra steps…”

 

Louis finally returned the other gun to his pocket. “So I’m not ‘hoping,’ Yafya… I’m giving you the rope to hang yourself. It is now your choice to be stupid, to be smart, or to disappoint Gosha for one last time…” 

 

Louis took out his smart phone, which was recording the audio even then. “I almost want you to kill me just so he’ll finally see you for the fascist monster you became. I’m sure he’s going to love what you said about his grandson…” 

 

The deer added with a bit more sarcasm, “Personally, I’m just ~all shook up now,~ but I already got myself a ride waiting. Maybe I’ll hang out with some lions, have them comfort me all night long.”

 

Louis started walking past the bloodied horse towards the stairwell beyond him. “Oh, and I know your rats probably called the police for backup, you were probably letting me monologue so they’d get here in time, but my friends slowed them down so we could have this chat. Anyway, you should really use that Sublime authority and tell them to back off - because if the cops take me in, you’ll see your legacy die within the hour.” Louis stopped at the door and held his hand near the gun in his pocket, “Or would you like me to finish what you started at this very moment?”

 

The dark horse wilted lower on the ground and he almost looked pathetic. “…You already did.”

Notes:

And now the healing can begin.

Chapter 56: Therapy bears

Summary:

(You can thank my hubby for the chapter title lol.)

Riz Therapy Session #2 and 3 of ???.

Welcome to another edition of "they did Riz so dirty."

Get these kids some proper parents.

Notes:

Having super long chapters all the time is not sustainable, but this is still like 30 pages on my computer. Enjoy the healing. lol

His first night at the clinic, Riz didn’t remember falling asleep.

 

Of course it must have happened at some point, but it didn’t have his attention. Maybe the medicine they put in his veins made him sleepy.  

 

The nightmare, however? Oh, he remembered that.

 

Blood. Tem. Meat.

 

Running. Starving.

 

Chasing fast and not being able to stop it.

 

No consciousness. No thoughts. Everything on horrifying autopilot.

 

He was so hungry. He hurt so much.

 

And then he was on his knees in his room at the clinic, and picking up all the meat off the floor to eat, and he was pretty sure he was crying. Gouhin left all that food on the cart, but Riz must have knocked it over in his sleep. Thrashing? Clawing? Wrecking?

 

He made enough of a racket that a motherly lioness showed up. 

 

She was dressed like a nurse and approached with peaceful ease. There was such a sweetness in her voice, “It’s okay… You don’t have to be afraid… You’re not in trouble… You’re okay now… We’re here now…”

 

The bear’s eyes only welled up more. “I didn’t mean it. I didn’t. I didn’t-”

 

“It’s okay,” she said again, and understanding filled her eyes. She slowly knelt down next to Riz and gently rubbed at his back. “It’s okay… We’re carnivores, too, so we know what you’re dealing with… You’re not alone now… My name is Mika. Do you remember your name?”

 

The bear had to swallow some kind of food before he could say anything else. “Riz.”

 

The lioness gave him a soft smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Riz…” She kept slowly rubbing his back - just comfort, no pressure for him to move or do anything else yet. “I bet you’re really, really hungry right now… but you’re in luck! My friends and I usually run a restaurant. I think a few of them are still cooking downstairs… My cellphone is in my pocket… Can I call them to get you a proper meal?”

 

And if Riz was even slightly more rational, maybe he would have said no…

 

…yet in that moment, all he wanted… was to get the taste of Tem out of his mouth…

……

A few hours later, Gouhin knocked softly at the door. The panda opened it a crack and tried to sound cheerful, “Hey, it’s Doctor Gouhin! I’m coming in now.”

 

Riz was still sitting in a chair by the window, where he’d been sitting for a long time in silence. The brown bear had a clean face and clean hands now, but he still looked tired and haunted.

 

He glanced at Gouhin for a second, then locked his wide eyes on the outside world.

 

A new medical bed replaced the one Riz clawed up in his sleep, but Riz still hadn’t touched it.

 

Gouhin kept a bit of distance from the young bear and sat on the new bed himself. Gouhin spoke carefully, “I heard you had a rough morning.” 

 

Riz gave a small nod, then had to sniffle. He rubbed the back of his hand at his nose and said, “I didn’t mean it. It was an accident.”

 

Gouhin assured him, “I know. Believe me, I know… You’re not in trouble.”

 

The young bear couldn’t believe that. The guilt was all over him. “I messed up. …I messed up again.” Riz put a hand over his eyes, “I forgot to take my pills. I had a stupid nightmare and that’s all it took. I freaked out. I fucked up. Again.”

 

“Respectfully,” Gouhin left a delicate pause before saying the next part, “They weren’t forgotten.”

 

Riz looked up in wide-eyed alarm, as if that made it even worse.

 

Gouhin met his eyes without judgment. He held up a bottle of pills from his white coat’s pocket, “You might have forgotten them, after everything else went terrible last night, but I didn’t… I made an express decision to not give you them.”

 

The young bear showed a panic on his face and he got halfway out of his seat, “I need those pills! They keep me safe!”

 

Gouhin stayed exactly where he was, but held the pills further away. “Safe from who?”

 

“Other people!” The bear’s eyes winced shut, “I mean, so other people are safe from me!” Riz gestured at the bed that had to be replaced and the scratch marks in the floor, “I need those pills or this happens!”

 

Gouhin patted the new bed beneath him, “This happens a lot here. I’m not worried.”

 

“I am!” Riz suddenly realized he was yelling and slapped his hand against his face. He fell back into his seat and forced his voice softer, “I need those pills. It’s the law.”

 

The panda slowly returned the bottle of pills back to his coat pocket. “The laws suck and I’m a doctor, and what you ‘need’ is not this poison. You need to heal from depression and nutritional starvation - and you can do neither while that shit is fucking with your body.”

 

Riz kept his eyes scrunched shut, but tried to relax his arms onto the arms of the chair. “I need those pills. I need them. I need them or bad things happen.”

 

Gouhin gently shifted the narrative, “Yeah, bad things happen because of the pills, and the rebound effect. Are you familiar with that term?”

 

Judging by the young bear’s reaction, only vaguely. “What?” Riz was still wincing, but had to blink a few times. “What are you talking about? Like when you stop taking something for a cold too soon and then you suddenly get worse afterward? I don’t get worse, I get too strong!”

 

Gouhin nodded along, “And that is part of the rebound… but they don’t put that warning on the box because the government wants compliance, and they don’t want anyone to question or second guess taking those drugs…” 

 

Riz stared at him in suspicion.

 

Gouhin shifted the way he sat on the bed and used his arms to demonstrate, “Okay, think of it this way: strength resistance training. Some people lift weights. Some people strap weights to their limbs or core, so when they take the weights off, their body feels lighter…” 

 

Riz scoffed softly and rubbed at his forehead, “Yeah. I know that. I’ve seen anime. Their muscles get used to moving a heavier weight, so they’re stronger or faster. It’s not the same thing.”

 

The panda pointed at the younger bear, “Those pills are a poison that damages your body, and then your body is stuck in a cycle where it’s constantly trying to repair itself from that damage. It is constantly trying to rebuild the muscles that poison destroys… and fast…”

 

“…So if you’ve been taking that poison for any significant amount of time and stop? It’s not being held back anymore. Your carnivore metabolism goes into overdrive trying to rebuild your strength as quickly as it can, while it has the chance to do so - but that comes at a cost.”

 

Skeptical and emotional, Riz wanted the lecture over as fast as possible. He quietly asked, “And now you’re going to tell me what cost, right?”

 

Gouhin patted a hand against his old panda belly, “Your body can’t build something from nothing. You need the right food… and your carnivore ancestors could only get certain nutrients by being stronger or faster than others…” 

 

“…But if a body is starved long enough, it can cannibalize itself - and then the body will get even more desperate to survive. In the case of a big carnivore like you, your body… would get desperate … to eat… meat.”

 

The darkness on Riz’s face was ready to claim him again. He was trying to add up so many factors in his head. His hands squeezed on the arms of his chair. “Then… Then… Then I can’t stop. I can’t stop taking those pills ever, even if the laws got changed. I need them. I’m always going to need them.”

 

Gouhin gently corrected him, “No… What you need … is still just meat.”

 

Riz’s mouth hung open and he stared at the panda. “I can’t eat meat. I can’t. It’s wrong.”

 

Gouhin took a slow breath through his nose and leaned back. The panda spoke with a clinical, measured precision, “…You’ve already eaten meat at least twice in your life. That is not a criminal accusation or ethical condemnation; it is a medical fact…”

 

Riz was shaking his head, still protesting, “I can’t. I can’t.” His grip tightened on the chair.

 

The panda remained as calm and unmoving as before. “Your body is screaming out for it, kid… and it’s only going to get worse. Your parents, your family, your government - they should have helped you with this years ago, given you guidance, compassion, understanding. You got neglect instead.”

 

Riz glued his gaze to the floor at his feet, but he was still trying to argue. “My friends are herbivores. I like herbivores. My best friend, my only real friend…”

 

Gentle Gouhin said, “I’m not talking about devouring.” Gouhin gestured like he was putting that idea aside, “Devouring is killing; nobody wants you to do that. That’s why the back alley market exists.”

 

Big brown bear fingers squeezed so tight on the chair, it made a cracking sound. 

 

Riz glared up at him, “You mean the black market.”

 

Gouhin made a calculated decision to shrug, “Herbivores in power like to call it that, sure. They make it sound terrible and nefarious - but they’re cherry-picking from all the worst stories to maintain that illusion in the public eye, as if herbivores don’t have a country of their own crimes behind doors…” 

 

“…Yet almost all of the meat sold there is sourced from morgues and hospitals, so nobody living ever has to suffer for it. And I don’t just mean businesses run by carnivores; almost every herbivore in the medical community knows meat is a biological imperative for carnivores. They just can’t say that without getting fired by idiot execs. That’s why they support the market and why they support my clinic.”

 

“Well, I don’t,” Riz complained and crossed his arms. “Meat is evil. The market is evil. I’m-”

 

Gouhin sharply cut him off, “Evil is fucking with a child’s head. Evil is making it a crime for carnivores to grow too big, starving them, and then forcing them to take an agonizing poison every single day - and convincing them all it’s a matter of ‘safety.’ You have been brainwashed into thinking you have to suffer so that other people are safer.”

 

Riz finally yelled, “I do have to suffer!!” He squeezed at his own head, “This is not some hypothetical scenario! I stopped taking those stupid pills for one week and I ate my best friend!! So yes!! I have to suffer!!”

 

He finally said it.

 

Sooner than Gouhin expected honestly, but it was amazing that Riz could even hold on this long.

 

Gouhin didn’t move or raise his voice. He just said, “It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“I killed him!” Riz stood up and nearly punched the window. He only stopped because the glass would shatter so easily. “You want to hear that so badly?! I killed him! I lost control!” Riz caught his own reflection in the glass. “One week was all it took!! One week without those pills! One week and I,” the bear’s voice caught and he had to rub at his crying eyes again. “I became a monster.”

 

Eyes fell from the glass.

 

Gouhin said it a second time, “It wasn’t your fault.”

 

“How?!” Riz glared at him with tears on his face, and that time Riz really did hit the wall - leaving an imprint and a spider-web crack. “How is it not?? I wanted him to see the real me! I made the choice! The stupid fucking choice!!” He almost threw another punch, but caught himself and yelled at his claws. “I’m so fucking stupid! I terrified him by existing! I slashed him by holding his hand! He called me a monster and then I ate him!!”

 

Riz hit his own forehead into the wall instead. 

 

Still Gouhin remained. 

 

“Did you black out?”

 

The younger bear yelled, “Yes, I blacked out!! …I just wanted, just wanted to talk! I didn’t want him to run! I didn’t want him to leave me.” Riz was crying then and shaking, “But if he did, he’d be alive! I should have let him run and I couldn’t! I couldn't do anything but kill!!”

 

Patient and kind, Gouhin already had all the pieces of the puzzle. 

 

He just needed to help Riz see it. 

 

“You blacked out… because you were starving…”

 

“…You were starving because you needed meat…”

 

“…You never got meat because your government convinced you it was evil.”

 

Baring deadly claws, Riz turned at him and shouted, “I lost control!! I couldn’t control my strength!” 

 

Gouhin was unafraid. “Because controlling your strength is a skill you learn over time, and because your government poisoned you, you never had a chance to develop it.”

 

Riz cried and hit his head, “I stopped taking the pills! I chose it!! I fucked up! Why are you trying to convince me otherwise?! I’m a monster!!”

 

“Were you taking the pills… when you chose to stop taking the pills?”

 

The phrasing took Riz off-guard.

 

“I…” Riz stared in confusion. “What?”

 

Gouhin moved one hand like he was counting the sequence of events, “You were taking the pills. And then a day came when you stopped taking them… Did you take them in the weeks before that? Months? Years?”

 

The young bear was disgusted at himself. “What does that even matter??”

 

Gouhin explained, “The pills give you migraines.”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Depression?”

 

“Yes!”

 

Gouhin listed a few more symptoms, “The pills cause you debilitating bodily pain. They cause agony every single day. The pills make it hard to think. They make it hard to focus, hard to sleep or wake up. They confuse you. They affect your ability to concentrate and reason, to make good judgments…”

 

Riz took longer to reply. “…Yes.”

 

As slow as possible, Gouhin took the bottle of pills from his pocket. “Then the pills… are a mind-altering substance…”

 

Put the pieces together, Riz.

 

There are so many, but they all string together. 

 

“…You unintentionally made a bad decision… an uninformed decision… while you were on a mind-altering substance…”

 

“…a substance you were only taking… because your government forced you to take it over a long, extended period of time…”

 

“…Your altered mental state… and any uninformed decisions made while influenced by it… are thus the fault… of your government…”

 

Connect the logic, Riz.

 

It’s not your fault. 

 

“…Your government willfully spiked your drink without your full knowledge or consent, convinced you it was safe to drive yourself home on an empty stomach, and set you up on a collision course with your best friend…”

 

“…They practically cut your brakes and stole your airbags…”

 

“…It’s not your fault something bad happened. They made it inevitable - framed you for murder and they got you to believe it was your own negligence.”

 

Riz was crying openly then, and his hands were scratching harder at his chest. “But he called me a monster.”

 

Gouhin slowly got up and took hold of the younger bear’s wrists. “He didn’t know better.”

……

Tears can last a very long time. Riz tried to hold them back for so long - all those days, weeks, months - but the dam had finally been shattered.

 

Even when he was done sobbing, liquid just kept leaking from the corners of his eyes. He felt burned by it all and diminished, weak embers left behind in his core. Gouhin got him back in the chair and Riz didn’t have the strength to do anything but sit.

 

His body felt half numb even before Gouhin knelt in front of him and treated the new scratches.

 

Riz was so tired and weary of it all. He just wanted to be done.

 

“When do the cops get here?”

 

Gouhin gave him a reassuring smile as he finished cleaning the cuts. “They don’t.”

 

Riz couldn’t muster an emotion on his face. “I killed someone.”

 

Gouhin replied without humor, “So have I.” The panda gave a slow, calculated shrug, “I thought you understood, kid: it wasn’t your fault. So why would I call the cops on an innocent child?”

 

Riz almost started crying again. “What else is there? I can’t go back.”

 

As Gouhin gathered up the slightly-used medical supplies, he tried to seem enthusiastic, “We aren’t going back; we’re going forward! And I’ve already got a treatment plan worked out for that.” Gouhin properly disposed of the few bloody things, including the latex gloves, and put away the rest. “Do you feel up to talking about that now or do you want to wait till later?”

 

Riz sniffled and had to rub a tissue at his nose. “Just tell me. Just… tell me what I’m supposed to do… I’m so tired…”

 

“Okay,” Gouhin started quietly, and he slowly took out his smart phone. “I’m going to write it all out for you so you have a copy, and you can refer to that for the future… First things first: no more strength poison. No more migraines. You need to heal and you can’t do that with those drugs frying your system… But since you’re working with me, I know how we can safely accommodate the rebound…”

 

Riz grunted once like he couldn’t care anymore.

 

Gouhin scanned the young brown bear for a reaction, but nothing else stood out, nothing else was forthcoming. So Gouhin continued, “…I said strength control is a skill, and we can help you develop that. It’ll be like physical therapy, rehab exercises… At the same time we can gently get you started on some beginner meat meals, things like omelets or thick soups. Those will be familiar to you and the meat will be partially obscured that way. That’ll help get around your emotional resistance until you’re ready to tolerate meat by itself.”

 

Weary Riz kept the tissue in front of his snout. “What if I’m never ready?”

 

Gouhin was still logging notes. “Then we can cross that bridge together. But if you’re worried about being safe around others, this is the safest way… Having actual meat will prevent your body from cannibalizing itself, so you won’t be at risk of blacking out or your instincts taking over. And doing rehab concurrently will help you adjust to your real strength as you get it back. We’ll teach you how to control yourself.”

 

The brown bear made a soft noise of disappointment. The new bed was mocking him again. “I can’t control my claws when I sleep… I try getting the toughest pillows and sheets and I still wreck them.”

 

“Well, your subconscious is probably dreaming of hunting or eating,” Gouhin said simply. “A lot of struggling carnivores get meat dreams like that. But they’ll lessen when you start eating meat regularly, maybe go away entirely! Your instincts won’t be panicking about starving anymore. In the meantime, you could cut your claws before bed - but I know some carnivores regrow their claws fast overnight. So if you’re worried, we could get a mouth guard and some claw caps, or some special mittens.”

 

Slowly Riz squinted up at him. “Claw what?”

 

Gouhin tapped one of the panda’s claws, “Claw caps. They’re like these little plastic covers. You put them over the edge of your claws when you go to bed so you don’t scratch anything by accident. Then you take them off in the morning. A lot of felines use them, but so do a bunch of bears and other carnivores.” 

 

Riz was regarding the panda’s hands and then he started looking at his own.

 

Gouhin assumed, “You haven’t heard of those, have you?”

 

The brown bear tucked his thumb behind closing fingers, hiding his claws on purpose. “…No…”

 

The panda guessed, “And most businesses are owned by herbivores, so I’m going to guess the places you shop don’t even carry them. …So you probably got your ‘extra-tough’ pillows and blankets … from herbivore manufacturers.”

 

Somehow Riz felt ashamed by his lack of awareness - as if his ignorance was not the calculated and inevitable result of so much neglect. 

 

Gouhin could still see all the gears grinding behind the brown bear’s eyes. Gouhin said more gently, “And they probably thought claw caps looked barbaric and predatory and refused to carry them, that carnivores with long claws were just lazy or aggressive or some bullshit like that…” 

 

The panda slipped his phone into his pocket, “…But you aren’t an herbivore, kid… and you can’t willpower your biology into being one, no matter how many herbivores want to brainwash you into thinking that very thing… And when herbivore answers fail you again and again… then maybe you need a carnivore answer instead.” 

 

Gouhin looked to him and waited, and hoped that some of this was getting through.

 

Riz still sat on that for a while longer. Burnt out, weary, agonized Riz had so much to process, a year’s misery, and no energy to do it. 

 

I just want it over. 

 

I just want it done. 

 

I’m so tired of everything…

 

Just done. That’s all. Just… Just done…

 

I just want… I just want things to be better somehow…

 

And nothing ever works…

 

I’m so tired of…

 

*

 

Legosi had written it out on his phone last night.

 

{I’ve been there, Riz. And people helped me and I got out. …You can get out, too. We want to help you, too, and you don’t have to do anything to deserve that. …Just let us help.}

 

*

 

…Needing a carnivore answer?

 

Legosi had seemed so certain, so kind.

 

Then Riz finally acknowledged, “Maybe… I do…” The bear fussed with his face and fur again. “Everything I do already goes wrong… I’m so tired of messing up all the time…”

 

I can’t keep fighting all the time…

 

The text played in his mind again, {I’ve been there, Riz. I’ve been there.}

 

Gouhin leaned a bit closer to the younger bear, “And for what it’s worth… that very feeling is probably depression… Depression is a side effect of the pills, so it’s possible that after the drugs are completely out of your system and your body is healthy again, that the depression will clear up on its own…”

 

“…But your current emotions are also heavily influenced by trauma and grief…” Gouhin gently touched the panda’s head and heart. “…We try to avoid medicating grief as much as possible… but we don’t want you to suffer either. So we’ll be monitoring your condition over the next few weeks to see how that progresses…”

 

Gouhin pointed at the young bear, “But I want you to remember this because it’s important: if things get really bad before then - or if your depressive symptoms just don’t get better at all - then there is a wide variety of medications that might help.”

 

The old panda tried to give him a reassuring smile, and awkward hands kept wanting to reach out. “You aren’t just here to suffer, Riz. You’re a kid. You should get to enjoy being a kid - no matter how big you are or how bad you think you are. You’re not alone. There are other kids here, too. Some of the staff is trying to liven the place up, make a game room or something… What do you like to do for fun?”

 

The guilty young bear was struggling to remember right then. Suddenly nothing seemed fun now or ever.

 

Gouhin made a few guesses, “Do you like basketball? Cards? Board games? Video games? Puzzles? Drawing? Singing? Sewing? Cooking? …You like cooking?”

 

A glimmer of emotion snuck by. Riz let his hands slowly unfold and tried to forget all the damage they could do. The brown bear mumbled, “Used to… I guess…”

 

Then Riz sighed because, “I don’t feel like doing anything right now…”

 

It still made Gouhin smile. “That’s okay. It’s been a really bad 24 hours for a lot of people, and you probably haven’t slept well in a long time. So sleep as much as you want. I’ll have someone hook you up with some claw caps if you want. We can always work more another day…” 

 

“…Just do me a favor, okay?” Gouhin picked up a remote and made sure the corner tv still worked. “When you’re awake, try to watch some tv or listen to some music. Bad thoughts thrive in silence. Putting something on will help redirect your attention, get it off the bad stuff when no one else is around to help.” 

 

Riz gave a single weak nod, too tired to protest otherwise. 

 

Then Gouhin offered him the remote. “But if you like cooking, I’m sure the staff would enjoy a pair of big hands like yours! Ha! Always got hungry people around here these days. You wouldn’t have to handle meat, I promise.” The panda knocked on his own head, “Probably should wait a bit until your migraine has cleared up first though. Clanging pots, you know?”

 

A messy memory itched at the back of Riz’s mind - complex, but not completely wrong. As he accepted the remote, he said, “The lady last night… she said she worked at a restaurant.”

 

“Mika?” Gouhin hoped he remembered it right. He rubbed at his grizzled jaw, “Lioness, right? I think so. A whole bunch of folk wanted to pitch in and they’re from all over.” Gouhin laughed in simple joy, “This great hybrid lady gave a big speech about us the other week and it moved a lot of people! So we’ve been getting a lot of new staff lately! Lots of volunteers!” 

 

It still put a spring in his step, metaphorically, but first Gouhin had to stand up and stretch! “But cooking can be an act of meditation, and if it makes you happy? That’s a win-win in my book.”

 

Far too soon to hope, but one more question escaped the young bear’s lips. “Do you really think… I’ll get my sense of taste back?”

 

The self-assured panda put his hands in his pockets. “You could already taste honey and eggs… so it’s already there… And I didn’t want to press this part earlier, but… consistently having meat will also help normalize your sense of taste… Your subconscious won’t be so hyper-fixated on your nutritional deficiencies that it blinds you to the rest. I don’t like making medical promises, but in this case… yeah, I’m pretty confident.”

 

A new sniffle escaped the brown bear and Riz touched a tissue to his nose.

 

“I’d really like… to enjoy food again…”

 

Gouhin stopped at the door before leaving. One last bit of encouragement for the road: “We’re going to get you better, Riz… However long it takes, no matter the bumps, your bruises, or whatever you’re carrying inside… you’re here with us now… and we’re gonna get you back on your feet.”

 

Riz could only hope that was true.

 

Maybe Legosi can believe enough for both of us.

……

The brown bear slept for a long time. He’d been exhausted before the disaster even happened, and the nightmare interrupted his overdue rest.

 

A nurse demonstrated how to use the claw caps before that, how to make them stick overnight and how to take them off in the morning. She left a pair of sleeping mitts as well, made of a tough material Riz didn’t recognize. Those would be more secure but also warmer, more restrictive. Some people had problems sleeping with those and for Riz sleep was very much the priority. The claw caps, thankfully, were barely noticeable.

 

He missed lunch completely, though someone left him an egg-salad sandwich and an assortment of honey-covered snacks. He only recognized two of them by name, but honey was honey! Somehow it hadn’t occurred to him before that ‘honey’ counted as a taste, but hell, the migraines really were fucking with his head.

 

There was even one whole bottle of honey and a note suggesting he coat some fruit slices in them. How he hadn’t thought of that before, he didn’t know. The obvious just kept adding up like that.

 

Yet Riz did know enough about cooking to realize someone went out of their way to make all those for him.

 

It sounds silly, but honey-roasted vegetables… almost made him misty-eyed…

 

The back of the medical bed could be angled upwards and Riz half laid, half sat up in it. Riz turned on the tv like that just for something in the background, like Gouhin suggested. Nothing was really on - nothing that caught his interest anyway, but at least it was sound. It was voices.

 

Idly he checked his phone a few times over the next hour, bouncing between the same four apps. Some of their club mates were wishing him well, hoped he’d feel better soon, glad that he was getting real medical attention at last… 

 

A few of them even pointed out the night’s videos being posted online, and he watched a few. Most of the attention was on Legosi for those… but several commented on Riz as well, and how fast he was to help - and how when Legosi had to run, it was Riz still holding the croc. It was Riz that Louis called by name.

 

Riz might have missed the view counts online, but he didn’t miss it when those same videos ended up on the evening news! Wasn’t expecting the bit about ‘Legosi the Dragon Wolf’ either, but it made a certain kind of sense.

 

Eventually there was a knock at the door and the panda’s familiar voice, “Knock knock! It’s Doctor Gouhin. Got some introductions to make.”

 

Muting the tv, the brown bear frowned and sat up on the edge of the bed. He mumbled, “Alright.”

 

The panda entered, followed by a professional-looking tigress. Last to enter was an extremely large lion pushing a food cart. Opaque metal covers hid what Riz could only assume was dinner.

 

Riz stood up all the way just cause it felt weirder to stay seated. The smiling woman offered her hand and introduced herself first, “Aisha the tigress. I’m just a volunteer, but Gouhin thought it might help you to hear from more friendly faces.”

 

The bear had his hand halfway to hers before suddenly stopping himself. Riz grabbed his wrist and consciously held it back. “Um, hi. Sorry.”

 

The lion had a fearless grin on his face and his mane tied back in braids. He grabbed the young bear’s hand in a fierce shake and squeezed hard, “Miguel the lion! I work for the boss and the doc, and I ain’t fragile. We’re gonna be working out together and I can’t wait to get started.”

 

Gouhin cleared his throat into his hand, saying, “Miguel here will be helping you track your strength in the gym. Someone else will work on your fine motor control, but he’s one of the few guys around here who could keep up with me! So he can keep up with you.”

 

Miguel laughed about that, patting the lion’s huge bicep through his sleeve,“What can I say? I like pumping iron and being the biggest cat around. It’s probably an addiction at this point.”

 

Gouhin grabbed the lion’s shoulder and glared, “And that is what we are not saying in the mental health clinic.” Gouhin leaned closer and barely whispered, “Do not make me regret this.”

 

The cheery lion glanced at Riz and gave the panda the tiniest salute, “You got it, doc. I won’t even joke about the silvervine.”

 

The younger bear cracked a smile and the smiling tigress almost laughed. Then Aisha sighed and examined the fine cut of her claws, “Suddenly your request for my presence makes so much more sense. Elegance to balance out the brute?”

 

Gouhin complained more pointedly at the both of them, “I’m not saying that, but-”

 

Miguel playfully clutched his heart, “But you’re not NOT saying that.” The tigress teased, “Ouch.~”

 

The panda huffed and nearly made a rude gesture in Miguel’s direction and instead buried his hands in his pockets. “But a diversity of representatives helps people learn - both here and in group therapy later tonight.”

 

The lion smirked and crossed his arms, “Wait, is that why you keep pairing me with Hino? Cause he’s got the elegance? I thought you were just trying to ship us or something.”

 

The annoyed panda was confused, “Ship you? Where? Why?”

 

The younger Riz was surprised at the grizzled lion, but in a different way. “You know what shipping is?”

 

Miguel grinned more and traced his hands over his finely-braided mane, and might have used it as an excuse to flex both arms. “I work in a pride, big guy, for 20+ years. I have heard all the gay jokes.”

 

A small laugh escaped the younger bear’s lips.

 

Gouhin shook his head more insistently and started heading to leave, “Okay, well I’ve got to keep moving! It’s a busy day.” He stopped at the door, turned to the tigress and held his hands in prayer, “Aisha, if Miguel gets more embarrassing and you feel the urge to leave, you have my blessing, but please chat with Riz a little before then.”

 

The smiling tigress sat down in one of the chairs, the picture of refinement and grace. “I’m a professional, doctor! Managing people is my job.” 

 

Riz was pretty sure the doctor left saying, “Oy…”

 

It did get just a little more serious in the panda’s absence.

 

Miguel gave the bear a bit of praise, “That was really brave of you last night, stepping up to help Legosi and the doc. Most kids wouldn’t.”

 

Riz turned his face away and sat back down on the bed. “It doesn’t really count. I’m not really a kid.”

 

The tigress had her hands folded in her lap. “How old are you?” 

 

“17,” Riz said without thinking.

 

Miguel leaned back against one wall so the three formed a triangle in the room. “41 over here and I have worked with a lot of teenage lions over the years. That’s still a kid.”

 

Aisha said solemnly, “It is an unfortunate reality that some people are expected to grow up sooner - but the body and mind are still actively developing till your mid 20s… Quite frankly, the age of adulthood being 18 is a legal concept created by government - ie, a group that is usually overwhelmingly old men - so impressionable young boys can be sold cigarettes and drafted into the military, and impressionable young girls can be slept with.” Aisha crossed one leg over the other, “So, no, most reasonable adults would not see 17 as a ‘real adult.’ …You’re still a kid to us.”

 

Riz didn’t seem to react. His gaze shifted the slightest bit.

 

Dramatic Miguel, however, pretended to be shocked. “You’re blowing my mind over here, miss.”

 

The tigress forced a bright smile, “Something tells me that isn’t hard.”

 

“Damn!” Miguel sarcastically grasped his chest, “Someone has claws today!”

 

Riz called attention to the covered food cart first: “There’s meat under there… isn’t there?”

 

The tigress barely blinked. “Yes. There is.”

 

Miguel groaned and walked over to the food cart. “Aw, come on, we can give him better than that!” 

 

Excited and exuberant, Miguel started talking with his hands, “There are in fact several meat dishes here, prepared by our wonderful staff! Delicious, if I may say so! I’ve tasted their work before!” He tapped one side of the cart, “There’s a particularly hearty stew here that has everything a growing boy needs! Absolutely thick with veggies and potatoes and seasoned to perfection. If you’re meat shy, it's a great place to start; you won’t even be able to see the meat, might not even be able to taste it. The flavors blur in the most delightful manner.” 

 

Then Miguel tapped the other side of the cart, “We’ve also got a number of sandwiches if you’re feeling adventurous! Cold-cut subs, some burgers - you’re gonna love burgers! Bacon is glorious. You’ve probably had soybean burgers before, so they’ll be familiar, but these are the real deal! And what you need is real, not vegetarian.” Miguel kissed his fingers then flicked at the air, “They are gonna blow your socks off and you’ll be begging for seconds!”

 

The attempt at showmanship was perhaps a bit much. Riz was looking more guarded, teeth gritting, limbs tensing.

 

Aisha had a more diplomatic air to her. She still barely moved. “The fact is most children get this talk from their parents, and the clinic has been contacting the parents of all the other rescued minors. But not everyone here has parents, so Gouhin asked some of us to step in. Bloodbone dramatically attacks a carnivore’s latent hunger, and eating meat from the market is the quickest and safest way to help them recover.”

 

Miguel grumbled and glanced around, “Among other medications and treatments, yeah. That’s a thing. Your body is hungry, so you have to eat. Basic biology.”

 

The tigress stiffened in her seat. “He’s trying to make it sound fun-”

 

Holding up his index finger, Miguel insisted, “And eating meat can be fun! A lot of it tickles our carnivore brain, like getting dessert at any meal, but it's the only way a carnivore can be healthy and strong. Meat keeps us alive, and should always be treated with respect. It’s sacred. So why would anyone want to waste it? Enjoy it! Appreciate it! Making the best, most wonderful dishes is how carnivores can honor the lives that keep us living!”

 

Aisha rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. “And yes, meat can taste very nice when properly prepared. I’ve drooled over a few things myself - but it’s not just about taste.”

 

Riz found himself asking automatically, “What is it about?” He suddenly second guessed himself and turned his eyes downwards, “To you, I mean… Do you… eat meat, too?”

 

The business-like tigress showed more sympathy then. “Yes. Of course I do… There are a lot of herbivore employees at the company where I work.” Aisha poked the corners of her lips as she faked another big smile. “I’m one of the few carnivores there, and the responsibility is always on me to be diplomatic - no matter what! So I force myself to smile all the time. I smile so much, some people can’t tell my eyes from my stripes.”

 

Aisha let her smile fade and in a rare bout of humor, she pretended to gag instead.

 

The bear made a soft rumbling noise. Riz whispered the admission, “Yeah, I… I know a thing or two about forcing myself to smile all the time…”

 

Both lion and tigress were more sympathetic for that. Aisha acknowledged, “The sad fact is… part of being a responsible adult means doing things we don’t always want to do. Few children grow up saying they want to eat meat… but evolution is evolution, biology is biology.” 

 

Aisha gestured down at her own body and her fine business suit. “I am a tigress, and as such I have carnivorous urges and nutritional needs. And I can’t bury my head in the sand and hope for the best; I work around herbivores,” Aisha laughed it off like a joke, “sometimes extremely frustrating, even stupid herbivores. My job is very stressful, and if I don’t take steps to manage my health, that stress and frustration might make me lash out.”

 

Riz wondered, “Why don’t you get another job?”

 

The tigress gave a wince and a slight shrug, “It’s not that easy, Riz… We’re a minority in an herbivore’s world… Most businesses are owned and operated by herbivores. And while herbivores can frustrate me-”

 

Miguel playfully indicated himself, “Just like carnivores can frustrate you?~”

 

The tigress rolled her eyes at him and extended a single claw in his direction, “Like carnivores can frustrate me, yes.” 

 

She sheathed the claw and returned to being serious, “but I don’t hate herbivores and I definitely don’t want to hurt them by accident. So yes… meat is an occasional part of my diet and it has to be… For me to stay controlled and professional all day - to ensure that carnivores like us don’t have an accident - it’s eating meat that keeps our urges and instincts in check. We get meat from the market, and that lets carnivore and herbivore adults live in… a relative sense of harmony with each other…”

 

She didn’t sound too convinced about the harmony part, considering the bigoted way some people acted, but there was no need to go into all that. Riz would know about those things already.

 

Miguel continued the thought, “What she means is… we can afford to be grumpy and irritated with herbivores expressly because our carnivorous instincts have already been satisfied.” Miguel threaded the fingers of his hands together, “Eating meat … actually lets us be more emotionally honest and connected with the herbivores around us.”

 

Aisha placed a hand over her heart, “Why, Miguel, that almost sounded sophisticated!~”

 

The brawny lion leaned back and pounded his chest, “Careful about those book covers, miss. Plato was a nickname from his wrestling days and the name means ‘broad,’ cause the dude was so buff.” 

 

Aisha laughed and gestured toward him, “Well then, touche! The point is yours.”

 

And Riz didn’t even notice it, but somehow he’d begun smiling, too. Wasn’t even forced, yet it diminished even as his awareness of it grew. The bear started to say, “My best friend… was an herbivore… and there was an accident and… he’s not my friend anymore… but I do still love herbivores, and… and I guess that is what I want… I want to get close to them… I want to be honest with them, get upset with them, to feel, to complain, to have emotions, but be safe around them, and… and I want my smiles to be real, and my anger to be real, my body… I don’t want everything to be a fight anymore… Maybe I do still want to be a kid…”

 

Miguel reassured him with a big thumbs-up, “And you can do that. You can be a kid and eat meat. It’s just another part of your life. That’s all.”

 

In contentment Aisha was looking at the bear. “It sounds like you’ve made a decision for yourself.”

 

His conviction was shaky, but Riz gave a very slow nod.

 

*

 

{And people helped me and I got out. …You can get out, too.}

 

*

 

Riz shifted and stammered at first, “I, uh, I’ll start with the stew…” Riz rubbed at his arm and his head fell a little lower, “then I guess I’ll see what I’m ready for after that…”

 

Miguel actually started purring and clapped his hands to praise him. “That a boy! Good man. Good place to start.”

 

One grand unveiling later and the whole room quickly smelled of stew. There were several bowls and utensils for it, but also a whole pot. Miguel started filling up bowls for each of them, full of cheer and heart himself. “Now just remember: if you start drooling a lot and want to lick the bowl, it’s totally normal! It’s just your body being surprised! You’ll grow out of it fast.”

 

Miguel actually handed a bowl to Aisha first, and then a bowl for Riz. The young bear was sniffing at it long before that, and then sniffed more when it was in his hand. He explored the stew with a big spoon, noticing all the veggies, potatoes. He could even name several herbs and spices by sight and scent. If there was any meat in it, maybe it already melted away.

 

Riz glanced at the others and saw Aisha politely sipping some of the stew herself. An eager Miguel lifted up his bowl and slurped up a whole mouthful at once.

 

Riz stirred his spoon through the bowl just a little bit more, before lifting up a scoop at last and fitting it into his mouth.

 

The brawny lion grinned wide, “Tastes good, right??”

 

Riz let the stew remain in his mouth, tasting it on his tongue, carefully chewing at some of the veggies… and yeah, they were right about the flavor blurring, everything sort of tasted like everything else… and that was a two-way street.

 

A bit of meat flavor soaked through the stew, and all the veggies and potatoes lit up with it on his tongue.

 

Flavor…

 

It all had… flavor…

 

Riz had that urge to both cry and laugh at the very same time.

 

“That tastes… that tastes really… really good…”

 

His next spoonful was not so hesitant, and Riz shoved it into his mouth fast, chewing it, tasting it, savoring it - and it wasn’t the heat of the soup that made him so happily warm inside.

 

Miguel grinned at Aisha, Aisha smiled at Miguel, and the three went on enjoying a very nice dinner.

Chapter 57: Grabbing life by the...

Summary:

They really weren't planning for it to go this way, but hey, life can take you by surprise.

Detective Gosi is back on the scene.

Notes:

Giant herbivores still making pill-free Riz look like a twink...

Okay, so tangling with Yafya did upset Louis more than he wanted to let on. As nice as it felt to stand up to Yafya and call him out on his shit, it was not a stress-free experience. Even as the gumi driver drove Louis to the Shishigumi’s mansion, Louis expected to hear sirens at any moment.

 

He glanced out the window as buildings passed them by, all the glowing shop signs and street lights. Nocturnal animals kept the city alive. 

 

Would Legosi prefer a job like that one day?

 

Louis took a deep breath and looked at his smart phone again. This was not going to be pleasant, but he started emailing tonight’s recording to Gosha. Then he began a call to Gosha himself before it was even finished sending.

 

Gosha picked up almost immediately. Louis gave him a simple, “Hey.”

 

Before Louis could say more, the old reptile spoke faster, “Ozone told me what was happening. Are you alright?”

 

Louis figured the komodo grandpa would be waiting for this call. “Uninjured. I had to put two bullets into Yafya’s limbs, but I let the rats help him. He’ll survive - but he’s not going to be using his right knee for a while, or his left shoulder.”

 

The red deer could hear Gosha grimacing on the other end of the phone. “He got violent?”

 

Louis nodded to himself. “Knocked me to the ground, shattered a wall, made a whole lot of death threats against family and friends, including Legosi… I would have liked to handle him more elegantly, but-”

 

“But he forced your hand,” Gosha finished for him.

 

The red deer took another breath. “Yeah… He had a ton of photos of me and Legosi, and the things he was saying…? I had to go nuclear on him… I’m sorry.”

 

Louis could feel the tension on the other end of the line. Gosha tried to reassure him, “You’re a good kid, Louis. I’m sorry us two old monsters ever put you in that position.”

 

Louis returned the encouragement with some of his own, “You are not the monster, Gosha, not even remotely… Yafya and I, however…” The red deer sighed and Gosha definitely heard that over the phone. “…I’d like to think maybe I got through to him, but I had to dig very, very deep… and you know how much I love Legosi, so… I’ve sent you the recording for yourself… You can hear Yafya and you can hear me, and you can decide for yourself how you want to proceed. You might want to wear your mask though, cause it’s going to be upsetting.”

 

A quiet tiredness snuck into Gosha’s tone as he said, “Thank you, Louis… and thank you for risking so much on our behalf.” 

 

Louis had a soft laugh, “I’d like to say ‘any time,’ but it’s an honestly been an extremely stressful two days…” Louis’ eyes struggled to follow the city buildings that passed them by, yet he recognized several from the routes to Oguma’s mansion. Louis started to ask, “Actually… can I ask a favor?”

 

“You’ve more than deserved it,” the komodo returned immediately.

 

Louis rubbed at his sleepy eyes for a moment. “I totally planned to see you and tell you everything I saw in person, to answer all your questions right away - but I’m probably experiencing an adrenaline crash right now and I’m all out of energy drinks. Would you mind if I rerouted to my dad’s place and get back to you in the morning?”

 

“Take it,” Gosha agreed, and Gosha sounded like a warm-hearted grandpa again. “Call it a mental health day. You’ve gone above and beyond anything that anyone could ask for, but you’re still just a kid. You need rest.”

 

Louis huffed a laugh like Legosi. “Yeah, I never had much of a childhood and I doubt I’ll get it now.”

 

Grandpa Gosha playfully encouraged, “Well, then you better get a lot of it now while you can! And if it makes you feel better, I gave the day off for a lot of the gang. Even adult carnivores need time to heal.”

 

Louis wanted to double check, “Are they all okay?”

 

“Bumps, bruises, bites, some claw wounds, but the training Gouhin and Leano put them through made a big difference.” Gosha might have been a bit proud there. “Only a few major injuries and the docs stitched them up fast. Meat and bedrest and they’ll be good soon.”

 

“Good. Good, I’m,” Louis couldn’t stop a yawn from sneaking in, “I’m glad…”

 

Gosha chuckled to himself. “Get yourself to bed, Louis. There will be time for drama in the morning.”

 

Sleepy Louis joked, “Aww, but I love drama. It’s my thing!”

 

Gosha laughed, “Bed, Beastar! My questions can wait for another day.”

 

Louis stretched in his seat and sighed happily. “You got it, grandpa…”

 

*

 

Louis had the driver redirect to his dad’s mansion. He yawned a few more times and was grateful for Gosha’s kindness.

 

The older deer would normally be in bed by then, and Oguma would probably be off to work before Louis even got up. That was okay though. Louis was just looking forward to a quiet place to sleep, not some fatherly advice.

 

He did make sure to leave Legosi and Haru a message so they knew he’d be sleeping off campus. He expected he’d be back tomorrow though, before lunch at the latest.

 

And despite how much Louis second guessed himself… Louis sent the night’s recording to Legosi and Haru as well. {Listen with headphones and only if you’re prepared to be upset. It was not pretty. I had to get very dark.}

 

After all, the trio were distinctly working hard to be honest with each other. To communicate and not keep secrets: those were NOT the deer’s first instincts. And upsetting or not, the Yafya showdown would have been one hell of a big secret to keep from them!

 

The two were liable to find all the damage on the garden rooftop before Louis returned. Depending on what the rats cleaned up, all that blood could look like a murder scene. Louis did not want Haru or Legosi fearing the worst.

 

Louis wrote to them the same reassurance that he’d given Gosha, {I promise I was only digging that deep to get through to him… but he threatened both of you. You deserve to know if he’s targeting you, too.}

 

Haru wrote back later with barely contained rage, {I applaud your restraint. I would have shot him way sooner - and in places more precious.}

 

Legosi had yet to comment. Louis figured that he might still be asleep after taking his anxiety medicine. Ideally they could talk about the Yafya stuff before Legosi’s classes, but Legosi was never a morning person and Louis was exhausted. He didn’t think he’d be awake much longer himself.

 

It was only a few minutes more till the driver got him to Oguma’s mansion.

 

When the car finally pulled up to the front gates, the driver hit a button to ring security inside. …No one replied.

 

Okay, that was slightly weird. They pretty much always had staff and security around the mansion.

 

Louis got a bit closer to the front of the car and looked past the gates, and noticed another car near the mansion’s side door.

 

The confused driver wasn’t sure what the problem was. “I’m waiting for orders here, big guy. There somewhere else you want to go?”

 

The red deer started snickering as a silly thought occurred to him. Louis muttered out loud, “Oh my rex, I think my dad has someone over.”

 

The driver was still looking at him funny. “Uh… is that… a bad thing?”

 

Louis shook his head and opened the car door. “No, but it is mildly hilarious to me. I’m just going to use my security code and see myself to bed. He won’t even know I’m here.”

 

The red deer walked around the car to the security pad, hit several buttons in private, and then the front gate opened itself. Louis waved at the driver, “I’ve got this from here. Thanks again for the ride.”

 

The driver nodded and started rolling up his window. “Take care, Beastar. I’ll be in the area if you have second thoughts.”

 

Louis made sure the front gates were locked behind him, then walked up to the front door. He unlocked it, got inside, then verified it was locked behind him. 

 

He took off his shoes to be extra quiet and even took a sneakier route to his bedroom.

 

Louis really did find it terribly amusing. His poor father, so stiff and formal and terribly closeted… and now Oguma was having some kind of late night booty call!

 

Louis wanted to laugh, but kept himself secret and silent. 

 

He was silent even as he tucked himself into his old bed, got comfy with the covers, and set his phone to charge. 

 

Louis took a slow breath and finally gave in to sleeping.

……

Louis’ morning… could have been better. 

 

The tiny deer was craving caffeine.  

 

He had a little mini fridge in his bedroom, but it was out of energy drinks and devoid of cold bottled coffee, too. 

 

The deer was half asleep on his feet and yawning, but he needed something in his system to get the day started for real.

 

Bleary-eyed Louis trudged through the hall in his pajamas. The kitchen had to be stocked with coffee, right?

 

A certain lion was wearing a bathrobe and passed him on the left side. The lion yawned, “Good morning, Louis.”

 

Louis yawned and kept walking towards the kitchen. “Good morning, Ibuki.”

 

Louis took three steps and stopped. 

 

Ibuki took five steps and stopped.

 

A bubble popped in Louis’ mind and he suddenly realized.

 

Ibuki was wearing one of Oguma’s bathrobes. 

 

Louis’ neck turned almost completely around to stare at Ibuki’s back. 

 

The lion laughed nervously, “Oh, ha, haha, would you look at that? I’m in the wrong mansion. How did that happen?”

 

Ibuki started stepping very carefully away from Louis and the kitchen. 

 

Louis turned fully to follow the lion. “Ibuki.”

 

Ibuki started walking faster.

 

“Ibuki!” Louis walked faster after him. 

 

Ibuki began jogging. Louis chased right after him, yelling, “Ibuki!!”

 

Determination somehow made Louis faster and he caught Ibuki at a turn in the hall, almost tackling him into the wall. 

 

Louis grabbed him by his father’s bathrobe and threatened him flat against the wall. The youth demanded, “Ibuki, are you fucking my father?!”

 

The lion was authentically scared of pointy antlers near his face. “No…”

 

Louis breathed a sigh of relief.

 

Ibuki muttered, “Technically, he’s fucking-” 

 

“Do not finish that sentence!!” Louis yelled, a look of horror plastered on his face.

 

Oguma came rushing around the corner in an identical bathrobe. “Louis?!”

 

“Father!?” Louis stared wide-eyed.

 

Ibuki curled his fingers in a wave, “Good morning, Oggy.”

 

Louis’ jaw hung open, “OGGY??”

 

The lion cleared his throat. “Oguma.”

 

Louis felt faint. “I need coffee.”

 

Ibuki pointed back toward the kitchen, “I did start making a pot already.”

 

Haunted Louis let go of the lion and trudged to the kitchen once more.

 

*

 

Louis was going to need a whole lot of coffee for this…

 

Louis drank the first cup black and as fast as he possibly could, then poured another. He took that cup to sit at the table.

 

There was, however, a delicious scent in the air. Ibuki put on a pair of oven mitts and opened the stove, and that wonderful scent filled the kitchen even more.

 

Oguma was in the middle of pouring himself his own cup when he perked right up. “You made cinnamon rolls??”

 

Ibuki finished preparing the nice rolls on the table. “I hope you don’t mind. I was feeling hungry and domestic, so I thought I’d give baking them a try.”

 

The old deer was happily smiling away as he sat at the table across from his son. “They already smell lovely, thank you.”

 

Ibuki went to retrieve a few small plates and silverware for them. Then he sat at Oguma’s right side.

 

Yet as Louis saw his dad smile, he had a minor flashback to the night prior. Oguma’s photo had been taken by the rats…

 

*

 

‘I like this one. Long-range camera, high angle, but it works. My dad hardly ever smiles. I’m getting this framed.’

 

*

 

Well, Louis was pretty sure he just figured out why his dad was smiling more…

 

Louis felt guilty now that he was properly awake, and it probably showed on his face. “Ibuki, I am so sorry for reacting like that. I had an extremely stressful evening and I did not handle that well at all. I’m sorry.”

 

The lion was gracious and understanding, ready to return one apology for his own, but he focused instead on that part in the middle: the stressful evening. “Are you alright? What happened?”

 

Louis grimaced and took another sip. “Unfortunately, exactly what I expected…”

 

Louis tried to explain everything to the pair of them, including the dramatic phone call, the threatening pictures, Yafya harassing him in person until Louis finally unloaded on him - with bullets and words.

 

Ibuki nudged the plate of cinnamon rolls closer at one point, encouraging Louis to actually eat something. So Louis alternated between eating, drinking, and telling the full story.

 

Oguma went through a whole montage of dramatic expressions. Louis could honestly say he’d never seen even half of those faces on his dad before now.

 

Louis mumbled through food, “So I sent the file to Gosha and Gosha basically sent me to bed.” Louis swallowed then nodded to his father, “I noticed the lack of staff and the car outside, so I figured you might have someone here. I was trying to be very quiet as I slipped inside. It just never occurred to me that you could like… Ibuki.” Louis quickly amended himself for the lion, “which is not a comment about you, Ibuki. It’s a comment about my dad.”

 

The lion grinned regardless, “No offense taken, Louis.” Ibuki wrapped his arm around the older deer’s shoulders, “If Oguma wanted a bad boy for a lover, he could have picked worse.” Ibuki laughed, “We’re all lucky he didn’t run into Free first!”

 

Louis definitely had to laugh at that.

 

Oguma flushed and his ear flapped with twitchy embarrassment. His eyes kept glancing at the lion and his voice rose slightly higher, “I do not have a thing for bad boys.” He might have nudged Ibuki under the table, “Please do not imply such to Louis. Our meeting was a mutually-beneficial happenstance and a very long story, for which Louis does not need all the minutiae.”

 

Oh my rex, my dad looks embarrassed.

 

Ibuki was handling it better, leaning back in his chair. “For what it’s worth, we owe you an apology as well.” His arm drew away from Oguma and instead he just rested his hand on the deer’s nearer shoulder. It was such quiet affection. “We weren’t initially aware of our mutual relationship with you… We only realized it recently. We intended to tell you soon, but we… were hoping to find the right moment.”

 

Louis laughed once and shook his head, “The right moment? I imagine that was my father’s decision.”

 

The old deer tried to get more comfortable in his seat. “It’s a particular challenge, approaching you in certain social topics.”

 

Louis playfully rolled his eyes, “I remember. …And I have to take partial responsibility for this, as I was the one who encouraged you to find a boyfriend…”

 

Ibuki had a soft purr of happiness, and Louis and Oguma both looked at him at the same time. The smiling lion affectionately rubbed Oguma’s shoulder, “Am I your boyfriend, Oggy?~”

 

The older deer was turning colors again. “Can we please focus on the critically-injured equine overlord, and not my rugged paramour?”

 

The lion grinned and rumbled a bit more. His arm looped around his lover’s shoulders like it had before, “I don’t know, we could talk about your ‘rugged paramour’ a little, couldn’t we?~”

 

Oguma choked and carefully set down his coffee cup. “I’m going to excuse myself to the washroom for a moment. Please do not embarrass me while I’m away.”

 

Louis teased him, “Oh, I would never, father.~”

 

Hand over his heart, Ibuki agreed with the same tone, “I am an icon of discretion, sir.~”

 

Terror built up in Oguma’s face like a teapot coming to boil. He walked away very, very fast.

……

Another day, another morning of Collot dragging Legosi out of bed. The wolf huffed a tired breath, weary before anything else started.

 

Legosi roughly rubbed at his fluffy cheeks.

 

Okay! Day 2 as the unexpectedly-viral dragon wolf.

 

No way for this to go as bad as yesterday, right?

 

Not like Louis can shoot up a crazed herbivore twice in two days, right?

 

…Right?

 

Legosi still heard his usual internal screaming.

 

…Thank you, intrusive voices in my head, for your overwhelming support.

 

Legosi sighed and tried to get himself moving.

 

The scarf was left behind again. It rapidly became obvious that Legosi didn’t need a name tag either; the whole school had seen the videos by then. Apparently 24 hours was all it took for everyone at Cherryton to hear of ‘Legosi the dragon wolf.’

 

Legosi was still avoiding Beastbook and didn’t want to check the view counts on the videos either.

 

I got school. Just school. That’s all. All I gotta do today is go to class.

 

Ignore all the whispers and sideways glances. They’re not all bad.

 

Nobody knows about the narrowly-avoided horse murder on the roof.

 

Nope. Nobody.

 

Legosi trudged just a bit slower into their first class - one of those giant auditoriums with all the stairs and long desks. 

 

Jack was quicker up the stairs to their usual assigned seats, and Legosi almost missed the way Jack picked up a piece of paper. 

 

The dog crumpled it up fast and nearly had it to his pocket when Legosi caught his wrist. The wolf’s stare was sharp and questioning, an unspoken [Jack??]

 

The retriever forced a smile. “Just trash. Someone forgot something.”

 

Legosi’s eyes were insistent and he didn’t let go. He tried to sign one-handed, [Forgot something like what?]

 

Jack’s attempt at subtlety officially lost, the dog sighed and handed over the balled-up paper. “Don’t pay them any attention, Legosi.”

 

Legosi unrolled the paper so he could see the words for himself. {Jump for real next time, freak. Or we'll have to kill you ourselves.}

 

The voiceless wolf might have growled if he could. 

 

Jack signed to prevent being overheard, [Don’t let them get to you. It’s probably a meaningless threat. Class is going to start soon.]

 

The wolf’s snout wrinkled slightly and he signed back, [You know, any other day I would do just that… but today?]

 

Not after what Yafya said…

 

Legosi quickly dug into his school supplies and made sure he had a resealable plastic bag. He’d need that in a bit. Then he held the paper close to his nose, nearly covered his snout with it, and took a deep breath in.

 

Jack did not like that intensity. “Legosi?”

 

Legosi took out his phone to snap a picture of the offensive threat, then he very pointedly began walking further across the aisle. He sniffed at the air repeatedly, bypassing other students as they took their seats. Most were in their chairs already. Several turned to watch his movements, and Jack was hurrying after him.

 

Legosi took a few stairs down as he circled the real predator.  

 

A male rhino was chatting with an antelope, when Legosi stood directly in front of him. 

 

It’s Marko? Of course it is.

 

Armored behemoth, an untouchable herbivore.

 

Before the rhino could do anything else, Legosi held up the paper and took a photo of the death threat and the rhino’s face together.

 

The action took Marko off-guard and he sneered, “What the fuck is your problem?”

 

As if he didn’t know. 

 

Legosi turned the paper so the text was facing Marko now. Legosi tapped his lupine snout, pointed at the paper, and then at the rhino. ‘This is yours.’

 

He must have looked fierce enough. The moment the antelope saw the writing, he scooted his chair away from the rhino and whispered, “Dude, what did you do??” Marko glared back, “I didn’t do anything.” 

 

Legosi had an almost amused smirk on his face, and pointed two fingers at his own eyes and then at the rhino’s. ‘I see you.’ ‘I’m watching you.’

 

The adjacent antelope put his hands up and insisted to Legosi, “I had nothing to do with that! That is his handwriting, not mine! These seats are assigned!”

 

The rhino snorted angrily and glowered at the both of them, “Yeah, I don’t speak mime, so unless you have something real to say, get out of my face - or I’ll report you to the teacher for harassment. You do know what happens to a carnivore who harasses an herbivore here, right? They hit the curb fast.”

 

Legosi had already started typing something on his smart phone.

 

Jack put a hand on the wolf’s shoulder and whispered as well, “Legosi, come on.”

 

[No.] Legosi signed sharply before he finished typing. Then he asked, [Jack, please interpret for me?]

 

The dog swallowed hard, but Legosi was already signing more. Jack said out loud, “Legosi says he’s giving you one chance to apologize and change your behavior.”

 

Marko laughed it off, crossing his huge rhino arms, the armored muscle of them, “I haven’t done anything and I definitely don’t have to change anything - and that absolutely sounds like a threat, so I think I’m getting that teacher now!”

 

Legosi was still smiling as he then made a show of sealing the note in the plastic bag. [Okay. Second chance refused. Bye.] Legosi hit a button on his smart phone and started calmly heading back to his own seat, tail curving side to side.

 

Legosi hoped it wasn’t obvious how his heart was smashing away inside his chest. A panic attack now would be embarrassing.

 

The rhino got halfway out of his seat and demanded, “What was that? What the fuck did you just do?”

 

Without turning around, Legosi waved back at him while the wolf just kept walking away. The teacher had officially arrived and was calling things to order, telling people to sit, so even the rhino sat back down.

 

Jack followed at Legosi’s heels, but the dog kept looking around, concerned and uncertain. Jack whispered for himself, “Legosi? Were you writing to someone else? To Gon?”

 

Legosi calmly sat down in his assigned chair and signed small, [Oh, I was writing to everyone. Cause some people won’t learn till they face consequences.]

 

Louis was right: it IS a digital world now.

 

Even after they sat down in their seats, Jack was looking more uncomfortable by the moment. [Legosi, what did you do?]

 

Possibly gave myself a heart attack, but I’m not going to let him win.

 

Behind their textbooks, Legosi sneakily slid his own smart phone over to Jack. That way Jack could see a new, very public post on Legosi’s Beastbook page - including the new photo of Marko next to the threat he wrote.

 

{The world hasn’t even known I’m a hybrid for two days and I’m already getting death threats. Honestly I’m only surprised it hadn’t happened sooner. Gave him a chance to apologize, he refused, then he threatened to get me expelled cause I’m a carnivore. That’s nice.} 

 

{I can pinpoint a single drugged student on a campus of thousands, over a kilometer away, and he thought I couldn’t identify him off a hand-written note? While he’s in the same class as me? Guess the dude isn’t used to being held accountable for his actions. And if he has the guts to attack ME after this week, he’d have the guts to attack someone else. So send me a message if he’s harassing you, too, or if he left one of these threats to you and you recognize the handwriting.}

 

Jack was pretty sure his own heart just skipped a few beats. Seated or not, he almost fell! He tried to say Legosi’s name without even opening his mouth and it sounded like a whimpering wheeze instead.

 

Beyond that one classroom, people who really should have been paying attention to their jobs or teachers were reacting to that post instead. Responses were flying this way and that, and someone in the same room actually swore. 

 

The teacher turned from the board and complained, “Is there a problem, Roderigo??”

 

A slightly embarrassed jaguar mumbled, “Uh, sorry, sir! Cut myself by accident.”

 

The teacher’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “Do you require the nurse, Roderigo?”

 

The jaguar hid one hand behind the other and shook his head. “No, sir. Sorry, sir. I’ll be quiet.”

 

The teacher grumbled and turned back to the board. “We will appreciate that.”

 

The Beastbook post was picking up steam rapidly and it wasn’t long till they realized people off campus were getting involved in the conversation, too.

 

Legosi felt a strange kind of thrill for it. He subtly signed to Jack, [Man, is this how Louis feels when he pulls off a scheme? This is kind of empowering. This is nice. I like this. People should be held accountable more often.]

 

The dog wheezed again and signed very small, [Is this legal??]

 

Legosi huffed a silent laugh. [I don’t know and at this point I don’t care. The law wasn’t going to stand up for me anyway. My grandfather’s a godfather. Be gay, do crime.]

 

Jack nearly died inside. [Who are you and what have you done with Legosi?]

 

[I am Legosi the dragon wolf - and if I’m supposed to be a Beastar… then it’s about time I started to act like it.]

 

Let the rhino stew on consequence for once.

……

Legosi was so glad he set his phone to silent. Haru and Louis were both texting him before the morning was over.

 

Thank you, giant auditorium classrooms, for making it so easy to text in class.

 

A little emoji showed Haru laughing in disbelief, {You did NOT.}

 

Louis joked, {Please stop, I can only get so hard.}

 

Legosi grinned at the idea. {Well, that just makes me want to write some more.}

 

Legosi could already see the counterarguments approaching, herbivores playing devil’s advocate, so he posted something else between classes.

 

{If the rules fail to protect people from harassment and then protect the bullies from consequence, then the rules prove they favor the abusers and make themselves complicit with the bullies they protect.}

 

{I do not feel compelled to tolerate my oppression any longer.}

 

The devil never needs an advocate anyway. It’s just a debate tactic to maintain the status quo - intellectual dishonesty - and Legosi wasn’t going to fall for that anymore. 

 

As Jack sat down for their next class, he groaned, “Gon is not going to like this.”

 

Before sitting next to him, Legosi signed, [Good! He shouldn’t! Cause I already don’t like this. Gon’s the one who told us to use our voices. Maybe it’s time for ME to get loud, too. Isn’t that the point of a Beastar?]

 

A random donkey spoke up while passing the two canids, “Don’t let that guy push you around, Legosi. We’re on your side.”

 

Jack needed to do a small double take at the unexpected, but Legosi was already signing his thanks. Jack had to speak up on his behalf.

 

A smaller bird said similar.

 

The female rhino from drama club, Moro? She actually stopped Legosi between classes just to apologize on the other’s behalf, that Marko most definitely did NOT speak for all rhinos. She promised the ass was also going to get such a lecture, too, at their next territory time. 

 

Legosi did his best to stay gracious and diplomatic about it all, and Jack was more comfortable interpreting that than confrontation anyway.

 

And when he had class with Legom the chicken? Her eyes were unusually tense with hidden emotion. “You are a good person, Sad Brows. You have more friends than that bully.” She took out her purse and looked at him so flatly as she asked, “Can I offer you a nice egg in this trying time?”

 

Okay, yeah, that took Legosi off-guard.

 

Online people were getting more aggressive - on both sides - but Legosi made a conscious decision to not publicly reply or comment on anything else yet. 

 

A part of him was sympathetic to how Marko the rhino was being eviscerated online, but also, wow. It’s almost like bullies who commit hate crimes deserve to suffer consequences.

 

It didn’t take long to hear from Gosha’s gumis. Agata sent Legosi a text message, {The boss is sending some of us for backup. Just in case. But we already have a powerful urge to break someone’s legs.}

 

Legosi was powerfully tempted to agree. {Yeah, hold off on that for now. I want to handle this myself.}

 

Agata wrote back, {Acknowledged. We’ll be hanging close though if you need us.}

 

The antelope still wanted to defend his earlier proximity, so he also sent Legosi a private message. He insisted as before that he had nothing to do with the rhino’s threat; the first time he saw it was when Legosi brought it over. 

 

Legosi wrote back to give him the same assurance as before, {You’re fine, dude. Your scent was nowhere near the paper. I could tell. Thanks for confirming it was his handwriting though.}

 

But the way things were getting heated, Legosi did want to send a warning to someone else: he messaged Theo directly. He told Theo about what happened just in case someone went after another hybrid on campus. 

 

Legosi didn’t want to say this out loud (metaphorically), but Theo was the most visible hybrid on campus. Big or not, someone may think him an easier target than Legosi.

 

Worried, nervous, terrified Theo just confirmed what Legosi assumed: {You can’t fight him, Legosi. He does stuff like that all the time. And he’s not the only one.}

 

It occurred to Legosi that bears also have good noses. Maybe the wolf bear figured out it was Marko in the same way as Legosi?

 

{You could pass before; I never could. Everyone has always known what I am and I see this stuff all the time… You can’t think of it as ‘who is a bully and who isn’t.’ Bullying is a behavior and most people do it in some way - often without even thinking…}

 

{…We’re different and weird and that’s enough for some people. A person could be fine with everybody else, but with us? With us they don’t think twice about being mean… We’re easy targets… so they take out their frustration on us, and you never know who’s going to be like that until it’s too late…}

 

{…and the worst people go after us expressly cause they can get away with it. Bullying makes them feel good. There’s no rationalizing with a person like that. You can’t tell them it hurts; they want it to hurt. Even trying to stand up for yourself could get a carnivore expelled. You have to know that already, Legosi. You can’t fight him. You can’t fight him or he’ll ruin you.}

 

It was not lost on Legosi that this was the most Theo had ever spoken about anything.

 

Legosi took a long time to think before writing back to him.

 

{You’re right… that I could pass before… That was a privilege… and I know it…}

 

{…I hid because I knew stuff like this could happen. I wasn’t ready for it in the past. I still don’t know if I’m ready for it now… and I never asked to be called a guardian or a demon, and I definitely didn’t ask to be called a Beastar…}

 

{…but I am a hybrid… and my right to exist is not contingent upon accepting abuse.}

 

{We deserve better, Theo.}

 

{You… deserve better, Theo.}

 

The wolf bear didn’t know how to reply to that.

 

But an hour later… Theo did send over a few pictures of similar notes and vandalism around the school. Some of it was clearly addressed to a third hybrid entirely, pictures shared by someone else Theo knew. After all, the few other Cherryton hybrids could find Theo long before Legosi left the hybrid closet.

 

Legosi’s tail wagged quite a bit when he heard from the other Cherryton hybrids himself - half warning him, half encouraging him to stay strong. {Hybrids never even get on tv, much less become a Beastar! You just having a chance at the title is the best thing that’s ever happened to us! Don’t let him steal that from you.}

 

Legosi replied, {This has never been just about me. I want to hope he’ll wise up fast, but if this is such an ingrained pattern of behavior? Chances aren’t good. What have the teachers said about this? Principal Gon?}

 

A hybrid bird wrote back, {Yeah, haha, ha, talk to the teachers. That’s funny. Because they’d totally side with the half-breed abominations and not the upstanding herbivore… the gigantic fucking herbivore who will know who complained about him, and who has no trouble turning us into a smear on the ground. Yeah. Talk to teachers. Sure.}

 

Legosi thought that might have been the case, but just to be certain… {So no one has actually talked to Gon about Marko?}

 

Theo replied with defeated finality, {What’s the point? If it isn’t him, it’ll be someone else. Marko will find some way to get us expelled and then we’ll have to start over at another school without friends, where people could be even worse. Getting into Cherryton was already practically impossible for me. I need it to get into a good college.}

 

So Gon probably hadn’t heard about asshole students like Marko on campus… and Gon did say there were specist assholes on the school staff…

 

Well, as Legosi grit his teeth, he suddenly felt way, way less guilty about sharing this stuff online. Plausible deniability works for good or ill, and any bigots on staff would no longer be able to pretend this situation didn’t exist.

 

What is it they say? ‘Silence always favors the oppressor’?

 

Well, you told the students to make themselves heard, Gon… I guess I really am getting loud…

 

Another Beastbook message was largely unrelated to the rhino incident, but Legosi did take note of it. It was from the squirrel in the drama club. {Hey, uh, Legosi? Could I ask you for an itsy bitsy teensy favor? It’s… kind of embarrassing, but I lost something from my boyfriend. I was worried someone was gonna steal it and one day I panicked, so I buried it for safekeeping and… now I can’t find it. …If your nose is really that good, could… if it’s not too much trouble, I mean… could you help me find it?}

 

It got his tail wagging even more. Legosi texted back quickly enough in between classes, {If you have something else that smells like him, then yeah. I probably can. Maybe we could meet after classes or club?}

 

If I’ve got such a special nose, there’s gotta be things I can help with it…

 

Simple problem, simple solution. How refreshing.

 

*

 

It was cute! Like going on a private scavenger hunt. Legosi already knew the squirrel’s scent from their club days, and she brought one of her boyfriend’s hoodies.

 

(Sad, really. Another hoodie lost to the hoodie war.)

 

She knew her boyfriend’s gift was somewhere in a specific group of trees on campus, just not which tree or which direction it was buried in either. 

 

Of course she’d attempted her own sleuthing, but it’s so embarrassing! She couldn’t spend too much time digging or people would know what happened! Squirrels burying and losing things?? What was she, five?? Ugh, she felt like a baby.

 

That said, it was barely a challenge for Legosi’s sniffer. He went hunting among the trees, found the right one, then used those gardening claws of his to dig it up!

 

The wolf’s tail was quick to wag - and that was before she squealed and gave him a huge hug!

 

Legosi gave her a very gentle hug back.

 

It’s kind of nice, you know… being valued for this weird hybrid nose…

……

Dinner wasn’t long after that, and apparently the rhino finally realized something: Legosi sealed that threat in an airtight plastic bag. 

 

Legosi had made no effort to even hide what he did with the note. It was evidence.

 

Off to one side of the cafeteria, Legosi, Louis, Haru and Jack were seated at a smaller table. Louis sat on his right, while Jack and Haru sat across from them.

 

They were trying to straighten this out for themselves: everything regarding Yafya and Bloodbone and the conflict surrounding Legosi. Haru verified the roof was blood free, but the rats hadn’t fixed any of the stone Yafya broke. Legosi shared the other relevant Beastbook messages, too. 

 

Jack was getting caught in the middle of this, so he had a right to the full picture as well - all the complicated motivations factoring into their decisions and actions… Legosi had to acknowledge, [It's almost funny how small the rhino’s threats were, compared to Yafya, but hate is hate, and I don’t feel like letting this stuff slide anymore. A lack of consequence is exactly how we get more Yafyas.]

 

Haru gave a musical sigh over her vegetable soup, “And you two know I’m proud of you for all the social justice, but you realize this puts me in a bad place?” Her ears stuck up straighter, “Like, I’ve gotta rebalance the triad! I’m gonna have to go nuclear on somebody, somehow… maybe the world…”

 

Louis wagged his spoon at her, “Haru, you tease!~ You can’t get my hopes up like that and not follow through.”

 

Legosi knocked hard on the table for attention and signed, [Rhino incoming.]

 

Behind Jack and Haru’s side of the table, the arriving rhino was trudging toward them - all muscle and rage from the cafeteria’s middle. A handful of walking students very much had to get out of his way, but even at a distance the rhino made his intention obvious enough.

 

So before he even got close to Legosi and the others, three other students were standing from their tables: one of the buff crocs, an ostrich from the track team, and a brawny snow leopard that Legosi didn’t know at all. The rest of that big, broad cafeteria went chattering along unaware, but their little corner got a bit quieter. 

 

Louis attempted to smooth things over before it escalated any further than that, “Gentlemen, he’s not going to start anything in the cafeteria.” 

 

But Legosi was signing simultaneously, [Don’t bet on this guy being smart, but do me a favor, Louis: don’t shoot him. I want to handle this.]

 

Jack wisely got out of his seat and walked closer to Legosi’s side of the table. Haru slipped off her chair, phone in hand and preparing to record a video. “I think my mom’s calling. I’ll be back.”

 

The rabbit walked over to the side behind some of the other tables and then Legosi lost sight of her. The rhino had his focus.

 

Nearby, a few other students decided to take their dinner and head for literally any other part of the cafeteria.

 

Probably the smart thing for them to do. The rhino’s lips were already threatening to curl in anger as he pushed past the carnivore resistance. 

 

The burly gray herbivore stood up against the table and right across from Legosi. The rhino curtly whispered, “This doesn’t concern you, Louis. Move on.”

 

The deer scoffed dramatically and relaxed back in his chair, right hand in his pocket. Louis warned him, “Maybe you missed all the other times I’ve said this, but Legosi is my best friend. You leaving him death threats absolutely concerns me.”

 

Huge rhino hands rested on the table and he loomed forward, deadly horn directed at both of them. His volume rose just a little, “I’m going to make things easy for you: delete your post, give me back the note, and this ends here.”

 

Legosi stayed exactly where he was seated. [Let me think about that… no.] 

 

Louis relayed that, then added for himself, “Also you do realize you just admitted it came from you, right?”

 

The rhino’s face was trying so hard not to sneer, but maybe he just realized that himself. He lied through gritted teeth, “It’s - not - mine - but you’re using it and your 5 seconds of fame to ruin me, so hand it over.”

 

Old Legosi would have buckled. New, ‘angry for hybrids’ Legosi had conviction to spare. [Just tell people you’re sorry.]

 

The rhino swore, “The fuck??”

 

A few more students decided to make themselves scarce. Jack rapidly signed at the wolf, [I’m getting a teacher,] and slunk away just as fast. The rhino didn’t even care about him.

 

Legosi signed it again and Louis added extra emphasis on the first line, [Write you apologize… You want the ‘easy’ fix, this is it: you go online, you say you’re sorry for what you wrote, you know it was wrong, and you’re going to make up for it in the future. Be mature and responsible, and I’ll forgive you. That’s it. I won’t press charges. That’s all you have to do to fix this situation.]

 

The rhino’s face contorted with a burning rage. Under gray armor, muscles bulged with a desire for violence. The words left Marko’s mouth like bile, “I’m… sorry…” He pounded the table and snorted, “Now give me the note!”

 

[No,] Legosi signed blankly. His ear twitched only once. [You already wished for my death, so I’m certainly not trusting you with my innocence. Now go online and tell people you’re sorry.]

 

The rhino’s right hand began squeezing the edge of the table, and the wood was cracking with the force of it. “You have five seconds to give it back. You two can’t be Beastars if you’re both just puddles on the ground. You know that, right? You’re not that stupid, are you?”

 

Well at least he didn’t call the wolf dumb.

 

Legosi signed sharply for Louis to stand up and out of the way, and thankfully Louis obeyed. 

 

Then Legosi locked eyes with the rhino, barely blinking. He sat forward in the chair, legs primed to stand up quick. Then, with all intent for mockery, Legosi held up one hand and began counting down. 5. 4. 3, 2… 1…

 

Big, pointless 0. Shocking.

 

It happened fast, but Legosi was faster.

 

The rhino tried to flip the table, but Legosi was already meeting it halfway - blocking it. Food was still flying as the rhino smashed his whole body through the table anyway.

 

Legosi saw it before it happened. He let the force knock him back onto the next table. He rolled over it and then back onto his own feet unharmed. A quick glance saw Louis diving for cover. 

 

Two of the big guys tried to grab the rhino, only to be violently shoved aside.  

 

*Use anything.*

 

Bowls of soup became projectile weapons in an instant, Legosi’s demand for attention.

 

The bowls broke against armored hide, stained his shirt, and made the rhino more irate. Good. 

 

Legosi gestured at himself and signed, [You want me, not them!]

 

Marko didn’t need much goading. The snorting rhino went straight after Legosi, ignoring the others, throwing punches like his arms were pillars of granite. 

 

Legosi sidestepped each time, bobbed and weaved the deadly fists. Marko telegraphed everything, but all a rhino would need was one hit.

 

So many things on hand and Legosi knew how to use those. Trays to swat him aside or hit his snout, soup to make him slip - insult without injury, but not real damage. That wasn’t the intent. 

 

Don’t use the silverware. Don’t stab him in the eyes.

 

*Deny them their strength.*

 

Changes of direction to keep him from building momentum, making him stagger and stumble. Sidesteps! But not enough room, rhino still too close. Too many obstacles.

 

Repositioning. Legosi turned and bounded over an abandoned table, then another. The rhino crashed through furniture like glass, bellowing and chasing after the wolf.

 

Everyone had eyes on them then, the whole cafeteria. Students were already jumping out of the way, some yelling for teachers, but ‘run’ was not the instinct of everyone. A frozen opossum was seated in the rhino’s path.

 

Legosi slid over another table and grabbed them in the same movement, racing away with the paralyzed opossum. The center of the cafeteria was open space. That’s what he needed. He sprinted to give himself some breathing room.

 

The slower rhino didn’t care what was in front of him or who else he hurt. A teacher arrived at the front door with Jack and he yelled, “Do something!” The horrified teacher replied, “I can’t stop a charging rhino! Who can?!”

 

As Legosi passed a few tables, a female elephant tried to get in front of the rhino - but the rhino had momentum and Marko shoved her aside like the rest.

 

The elephant blurted a noise of pain as she fell back onto the ground.

 

Legosi’s shoes slid along the floor as he turned back to the rhino.

 

Okay. No. We’re done here.

 

The opossum may as well have been a doll for his perfect death stare, but Legosi set him down on an empty table.

 

The rhino was picking up speed and charging straight toward them, but everything was finally out of his way… out of Legosi’s way.

 

Ears angled back, Legosi ducked low to the ground and ran straight to meet him. A horn was pointed, body forward, intent on murder and gore, to end it all with one crash! 

 

Which only made it easier for him to fall. 

 

Legosi slid himself low and left at the last second, barely avoiding a collision - but he grabbed the rhino’s right shin in the passing and that was enough. The rhino wasn’t prepared to trip and down he went! Jaw and chest cracked the ground - huge body sliding another two meters, but not far enough to hit the opossum’s table.

 

Then it was just a matter of dismantling.

 

*Deny them everything,* Gosha taught the young wolf.

 

It was embarrassing and Legosi wanted it to be.

 

The rhino was vulnerable on the ground, moving to get back up. Quick Legosi had a hand on the rhino’s pants and all he had to do was yank. He dragged the rhino’s pants to his ankles before the rhino knew what was happening. 

 

Thank rex for boxer briefs. The rhino scrambled up onto his hands and knees, trying to get back up and away - but Legosi yanked harder at those tangled pants and made him fall again.

 

No getting up. No charging. No one else hurt.

 

The rhino tried to grab his pants first this time, pull them back up - too slow. Legosi lurched forward, his whole body behind the attack, right fist aimed straight between the rhino’s legs… at very sensitive orbs.

 

The only thing louder than the rhino’s screech was the groan of the audience. Legosi thought he’d have to punch more to end it, but no. One strike was enough. 

 

Done.

 

Thank rex he’s wearing boxer briefs. Thank fucking rex!

 

Maybe he wasn’t used to pain. Injury to that one vulnerable area left the rhino a quivering lump in the center of the cafeteria.

 

The shift was instantaneous. 

 

A scattering of immature giggles replaced the general panic. Fear vanished. Someone mumbled out, “Oh, there’s no way to emotionally recover from that.”

 

Legosi was not without heart though. 

 

Maybe I won’t deny him *everything,* grandpa…

 

Legosi chose to pull the rhino’s pants back up for him, hoping to spare whatever dignity the rhino might have left. (It wasn’t much.)

 

The rhino didn’t comment. He was utterly motionless and mortified and did nothing else at all. There might have even been a tear from agony.

 

Yeah, okay, that’s done.

 

But the rest of it wasn’t. Heart still racing, Legosi stood up fast and started scanning the wake of damage. There was no blood to smell, which definitely came as a relief.

 

A few students got shoved, but the only real casualties were broken chairs and tables. Several adults were already checking in with everyone, or ushering students out of the way. 

 

Across the way, the elephant was getting up and a few others were helping her - including Louis. She had a slight grimace and Legosi rushed over to them, signing big, [Is she okay?? She good??]

 

Louis signed the affirmative, [She’s fine!] And the elephant was quick to give a thumbs up in agreement.

 

(Honestly, she might have even looked a little proud to help Legosi!)

 

One less concern. But the opossum was still frozen on the table. The worried wolf hurried back to the marsupial, where Sheila and Tao were trying to check in with him. 

 

The opossum’s dark eyes moved, but the smaller animal seemed reluctant to even breathe. Sheila was whispering reassurances, “Hey, buddy, it’s done now. We’re all good now. You can relax.”

 

Legosi signed for them, too, [Is he fine? Okay??] But Tao signed honestly, [How would we know??]

 

Legosi gestured what he could for the opossum: a thumbs-up smile, a thumbs-down grimace, in between, anything? Come on, dude, breathe. Legosi took a deep breath and gestured for the opossum to join him, slow inhale, long exhale…

 

…Finally the opossum released it all at once, every limb limp and liquid instead of stiff. He nearly fell forward to hug Legosi, “Oh thank rex, I thought I was gonna die!”

 

You know, I could really get used to all the hugs… 

 

Maybe they should rename it the Hugstar… Yeah, I like that, hugs are great…

 

The wolf’s tail started wagging happily in relief… And, uh, well… for a moment there Legosi might have forgotten half the school was watching…

 

The sudden cheer and applause, that got his ears perking up again.

 

Huh?

 

Legosi looked around again, and this time he saw faces more relieved than horrified - even the herbivores! They cheered for him like they'd cheer for Louis. It jarred him enough that he awkwardly-but-carefully set the opossum down on the ground. 

 

The opossum however decided this was the best time for a photo-op and was excitedly taking a selfie with the Beastar-to-be. Tao was shaking Legosi’s shoulder in pride. The wolf’s ears continued doing awkward things for him and his attempt to sign ‘Thank you’ to the crowd was just as confused.

 

Wasn’t this a bad thing? You know? Attempted murder?

 

Being a Beastar is weird…

 

Moro the rhino actually jogged over to Legosi so she could hug him herself. She whispered rapidly to the wolf, “I know we’re not this close, but let the internet rhinos see us together. This is better for your image.”

 

People were still recording and taking pics and yeah, they were all probably going to hit the internet soon after. Haru herself was among them and recorded the whole thing from the start, cause she wanted to get a headstart on the narrative. ‘Rhino threatens to kill hybrid, admits it, then makes an actual attempt’ is an awfully different story from ‘carnivore beats up herbivore in school cafeteria.’

 

Legosi looked even more timid then and signed [thank you] again just for Moro.

 

But they weren’t the only ones acting simultaneously.

 

The moment Marko hit the ground, a different group were moving in: five adults who were dressed like security guards… Legosi rapidly identified them as Agata, Savon and Belladonna from the Dokugumi, and Kan from the Inarigumi. There was also a lady zebra with them that Legosi didn’t know. Maybe she was a new volunteer.

 

Ohhhh no. Oh no, that is not a good sign.

 

And despite people actively wanting Legosi’s attention, the wolf still waded through. He got between Marko and the others and gave them a decisive order, [Do not hurt him. Do not!]

 

Agata and Savon were the only ones of the five who knew those signs. The other three hesitated, but it made the two men smirk. Sunny Agata signed in return, [Relax, he’ll be fine.] Savon playfully rolled his eyes, “We’re not going to hurt him. We’re just going to take him to the principal.” Savon winked at him, “It’s our jobs.~” 

 

Savon gave an affectionate rub of Legosi’s shoulder, but Legosi couldn’t help feel like Savon was holding him back as well. The wolf huffed and crossed his arms, giving Savon an angry stare so that Savon knew he was serious. 

 

The rhino was still trying to cease existing with sheer willpower, but the ‘guards’ got Marko standing. He didn’t even resist them, though Agata and the zebra were each gripping an arm tight. Kan and Belladonna were trying to motion for everyone else to back up and give them space.

 

Agata subtly confiscated the rhino’s phone while they had the chance.

 

A brave motherly mandrill had arrived and was giving Marko such a lecture, but the rhino never talked back.

 

Just to be safe, Legosi signed for Louis to follow them and make sure the gangsters behaved. The red deer agreed to that perhaps too readily, but Legosi had limited options and they knew to fear Louis if no one else. Other staff took the opportunity to get close to Legosi and Jack had to play interpreter. 

 

It was disconcerting how normalcy began intruding on everything else - like this was any other day. Students were chattering, gossiping, picking up, taking photos or getting back to dinner.

 

Haru finally slipped over with her smart phone and was offering it to Legosi. “You might want to review this fast, big guy, just in case you want to clarify something before I post. We need to move fast though; some of the others have uploaded their vids already.”

 

Legosi breathed heavily in lieu of a groan. He knelt down and started looking at her tiny smart phone.

 

Haru bumped her elbow into the wolf’s side, “And you realize you’re about to go viral again, right? ‘Dragon Wolf Stops Charging Rhino with Bare Hands, Saves Classmates’? Particularly with that finisher… Someone is going to meme the hell out of this, I just know it.”

 

Legosi wanted to roll his eyes. [Yes. I know. …It was that or stab him… This way had less blood.]

 

Haru gleefully nodded along, “Oh, sure, sure. Made total sense. The next fascist is going to rethink their life choices before tangling with you now.”

 

Legosi huffed again and gave the phone back to her, reluctantly ready for posting. [I kept giving him second chances. He kept choosing violence.] Legosi’s stomach made a tiny noise and then he signed smaller, [So I know Gon is going to want me, too, but… would this be the wrong time to say I’m still hungry?]

Chapter 58: The gangsters strike back

Summary:

It all had meaning.

I've teased you all long enough...

Getting Marko alone was easier than Louis thought. After the way Legosi beat the rhino, Marko needed to … take care of things in a restroom.

 

Louis, Agata and Savon just had to accompany him inside. Belladonna would be watching the door so they had some privacy.

 

The three of them had no intention to hurt the rhino… physically… but Marko didn’t need to know that. 

 

A capybara student had just washed his hands. He was still using a dryer on the wall when they came in. The rhino still had food stains on his shirt, and the two gangsters were still in their security guard disguises. Realizing he missed something big, the capybara chose to leave fast… 

 

The trio let Marko address things in a private stall, and Louis checked that no one else was in the room. Savon and Agata looked to each other, silently gesturing their ideas. Louis, however, had a more particular plan.

 

Marko came out, washed his hands, used the air dryer himself, and moved like he was about to leave… but Agata gripped him by the shoulder, feline claws out and threatening.

 

The rhino sneered at him like he didn’t just lose the last battle, “What the fuck is your problem?”

 

A predatory glint shone in Agata’s eyes. “Right now, it’s a fascist wanna-be like you.”

 

Marko’s hand clenched into an armored fist at his side and he sneered, “Kitty cats don’t scare me - and that mutt got lucky. …Now step off. The real police are going to love what I have to say about Legosi.”

 

Urge to shoot him rising.

 

Louis hit the button to keep the noisy dryer going. “Yeah, that’s, that’s really not going to fly.”

 

Dark Louis was once more here to cover his lovable wolf boy’s ass.

 

The blasting air made it easy for Louis to whisper a threat, “See, aside from the multiple accounts of assault and attempted murder - which were being recorded by the way - you need to understand something very important…” 

 

Hands in his pockets, Louis strode in front of the rhino, staring down the fascist bully several magnitudes bigger than himself. …It was getting to be a familiar sentiment for the deer.

 

“…everything that just happened… was mercy… and if you want to live, you’ll say nothing for the next minute and listen - because komodo venom kills in seconds.”

 

Savon held his right hand over his reptilian mouth and made a sound like he was spitting. Savon squeezed his fist tight, “Today you get to learn about consequences! You stay silent, you live - you struggle, I might open my hand.” Marko opened his mouth to argue, only for Savon to shove his fist deep into the rhino’s mouth, nearly knocking him back against the wall.

 

The rhino froze completely in mid-movement. The only part of him not paralyzed were his widening eyelids. Savon licked his venomous lips, “Smart man.”

 

Louis leaned back on the dryer’s button like it was an accident. “You’ve heard of the Dokugumi, right, Marko? Those cold-blooded gangsters with all the guns and bombs, who have no qualms about killing and eating herbivores? They love Legosi. It’s a komodo thing. It’s like he’s their precious baby.”

 

The anger of a komodo is a terrifying thing. 

 

Even dressed like a security guard, playing the villain was easy for Savon, “Yeah, we’ve kind of adopted him, so that was my kid you were just trying to kill. Ever seen a komodo dad mad? If you don’t listen to us now, we’ll probably get inventive with some kind of slow, painful death just for you.”

 

With clawed fingers, Agata patronizingly wiped a bit of smudged food off the rhino’s snout, “Yeah, the Shishigumi and I were all ready to break your legs before lunch. …Legosi told us not to.” Agata held up the smartphone he stole from Marko earlier and used the rhino’s facial rec to bypass the password. “You should thank him. But what do I know? I’m just a kitty cat.”

 

A gun was now perfectly clear in Louis’ hand. “Legosi could have let any of us kill you today, but he chose to be nice instead, gave you multiple chances to clean up your act. …You chose violence. So you got violence. And still… he could have killed you a dozen times in that fight…” 

 

“…We,” Louis pocketed his gun, “are much less merciful. So when the cops get here, you’re going to give them a full confession of every heinous thing you’ve done or planned - including everything to Theo - and how Legosi is innocent of wrongdoing, because I promise you: you will only be safe from the gumis when you’re in jail. Okay?~”

 

Louis flicked another piece of food off Marko’s stained shirt, “You may now choose your poison and that’s not a metaphor. Whimper if you understand us.”

 

Oh, Marko absolutely whimpered.

 

Only then did Agata walk away, more interested in the stolen smartphone. “Good talk. Now quit this fascist bully shit.”

 

Savon pulled his hand out of the rhino’s mouth just to show his hand was empty all along. “The next time you fuck with our boy, I won’t fake spit.” Savon looked at his hand again, then made a noise of disgust. “Ugh. Rhino slobber. Well, good thing we’re in a bathroom.”

 

Savon let go of Marko entirely so the reptile could use the sink, and merrily whistled a tune while washing up.

 

Without a word, Marko rushed back into the bathroom stall to relieve himself - and made himself throw up to be safe.

 

Agata was scrolling through the phone, but he laughed at Savon’s melody. “Dude. Seriously?”

 

Rather than touch the school soap, Savon used his personal hand sanitizer. “What? It’s a catchy song.”

 

Louis double checked the safety on his gun, then put it away again. “Yeah, no, I’m with Agata. ‘You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch’ is a terrible choice for the aesthetic. Don’t you know any gang songs?”

 

Agata said excitedly, “Oo! How about ‘Bad Guy’?” The dark lion started shifting to the beat, “~‘So you’re a tough guy, like it really rough guy, just can’t get enough guy?’~”

 

Louis murmured and thought back to the morning. “Any other day, I might agree. However, ‘might seduce your dad type’ strikes me just a little too close to home today.”

 

Savon sighed as he used the air dryer for real. “Rex, I feel so old.”

……

Jinma had half an eye on the internet even as he worked to balance numbers on a spreadsheet. That’s when he got a message from Haru and a link to a video. Jinma had barely turned it on before his eyes started widening. “Ohhh shit.”

 

He put his computer to sleep and left his room in a rush. He was bringing the vid up again on his smartphone as he checked other rooms nearby. “Boss man? Leano?? Anyone seen Gosha or Leano?”

 

One of the lions pointed outside, “Gosha’s following that lead on Bloodbone.” Another said, “Leano was at the clinic last I heard - training some of Gouhin’s volunteers.”

 

As soon as he got direction, Jinma hurried downstairs, jumping several steps at a time. He knew the market the best and sprinted as fast as possible to the nearby clinic. 

 

He followed the yelling to what he assumed was a training room. The door was already open and then his eyes got even wider. “Holy shit, they’re fast.”

 

Reptilian arms were a blur in the air, slashing and blocking against the arms of a fox.

 

Fox gave ground to reptile only for reptile to push the offensive. Heads ducked and dodged when claws got too close. Bodies were constantly in motion and Jinma had trouble focusing on either. 

 

People of several species were cheering, “Come on, Ten!” “Go Leano!” “For the Inarigumi!” “Kick her ass!” There were even a few herbivores in the room, amazement on many faces.

 

A sudden hiccup in the flow as the fox shifted to kicks, one leg or another, jumping to kick twice. Leano was always out of reach, under it, deflecting. She grabbed Ten’s foot at one point and yanked her leg out wider, but Ten fell into a controlled split. 

 

Instantly the fox shifted to a windmill of kicks on the ground. Leano was already jumping out of reach, keeping distance from long legs and catching her breath instead. Arms stayed on guard.

 

Ten twisted and shoved off the ground without even slowing down, landing back on her feet and directly into another combat stance. She was panting more than Leano.

 

Shifting feet for another round, Ten squinted across with her one good eye, “You need a break, grandma?”

 

Leano had a sharp grin on her hybrid features, “I am a mother, not a grandmother, thank you very much - but if you’re done showing off, sure. This is great exercise.”

 

Ten groaned in complaint, sagging forward, “Ugh, komodo! Do you all age like turtles? This is totally unfair.”

 

Then both women started laughing at once and relaxed their limbs. They each offered their right arm and stepped close to shake hands.

 

There was another slight cheer and a few more groans because, “Aww, so no one wins?” “No one loses.” “Damn.” “I had 20 on Leano.”

 

Jinma was still blinking. He leaned towards a female panther and whispered, “Please tell me the alliance isn’t falling apart.”

 

The panther had a soldier’s stiffness in her bearing, “Extra combat practice after everything went to shit. They’ve been training us and the newbies… Turns out they can train each other, too.”

 

An excitable vixen clapped her hands together, “The Dragon’s Daughter can keep up with Boss Ten! I didn’t even know that was possible. Even Lady Ton has trouble with that.”

 

All the air left Jinma at once and he had to remind himself to breathe, “Oh… Well. If that’s all…”

 

Yet things were about to hit the fan again.

 

Leano walked aside to get a drink and towel to cool off, and Jinma hurried after her. “Boss ma’am? My lady? Uh… Legosi is fine.”

 

Leano completely drained her water bottle, then put the cap back on. The hybrid stared at him with a reptile’s cynicism, “Why does that phrase fail to inspire confidence?”

 

Jinma offered her his smartphone with the video ready to play. “There was an incident with a murderous rhino. Legosi beat the pants off him - literally. Haru has footage of the whole thing and they’re already handling the narrative. The school might be calling soon - or the police. Thought you’d want to know right away.”

 

Leano had already started the video before Jinma finished talking. Ten wanted to know what was going on, so she stood next to Leano and watched over her shoulder. The one-eyed fox joked, “Damn.~ Guess that speed runs in the family.” 

 

The hybrid mother was more restrained in her expressions. “I’ll be honest… I was not fully aware he could fight that way either.”

 

Ten frowned and squinted at her again. “What, you didn’t train him to move like that?”

 

Leano rewound the vid for a few seconds, looking at the earliest part again: when Marko kept trying and failing to hit Legosi. “We did, but of course we were holding back. He was a child.”

 

Ten shifted her limbs like she was getting ready to fight again. “Please tell me you were not just holding back with me. I will be insulted.”

 

Leano scoffed dramatically. “Hardly, Ten. I would care if I accidentally hurt Legosi.” She flicked the fox’s shoulder, “If I hurt you, not so much.”

 

“Good!” Ten said in wicked approval. “I’d hate for you to think you could maintain that attitude in the back alleys.”

 

Leano handed the phone back to Jinma and said, “Thank you for your haste. I will be hurrying now myself.” She turned to Ten, “I trust you can continue training the others without me?”

 

“Ha!” The one-eyed fox shooed her away to leave, “I’ve handled this just fine for years. I can handle a few hours on my own.”

 

In the corner of the room, a small female herbivore had tolerated enough. She made a noise of disgust and complained, “I am not waiting hours.”

 

Ten mockingly leaned over in the short one’s direction, “Oo, are we keeping you up, princess?~ Gonna be your bedtime soon?”

 

A knife went flying through the air and Ten almost didn’t dodge in time. The blade impaled itself in a wall past the fox and Ten cackled, “Not a princess then!”

 

A rope had been attached to the knife, and with a sharp yank, the knife came flying back to its owner: a lop-eared rabbit.

 

As she approached the center of the room, the rabbit raised her voice, “Let’s be clear about something: I hate carnivores.” She pointed her dagger at Ten and then all the others, “The only reason I’m here is because I owe Gouhin, and he’s gone soft in his old age. So I will not be making small talk.”

 

She sheathed the knife for now and focused on the rope instead. “I will give you an hour’s education on the use of rope and leverage to capture violent carnivores. That is all you get. Then I’m gone.” She brandished the rope like it was a different weapon entirely, “Now Gouhin told me that some suicidal carnivore prick was actually willing to let me destroy him over the next hour - and Gouhin promised I would really enjoy it. So who’s the lucky guy?”

 

Covered in training armor, the lion, Free, had practically been vibrating in the corner. He raised his hand and practically jumped. “That’s me!”

 

Eyes half-lidded, the rabbit looked straight at Free and smacked her lips. “Ah.”

……

One very quick shower later and Leano had new messages on her phone. The school had left a voicemail, but for the moment she ignored that in favor of text messages from Legosi. Things had been happening fast, but Legosi did the smart thing and updated her himself.

 

She started texting back to him right there, {Are you okay? Where are you now?}

 

Legosi: {Fine, aside from a few bruises. Took my medicine. Sitting outside Gon’s office with Savon and Agata. I'm not being punished, but Gon thought we should stay here for a bit. A bunch of students nearly rioted when I was escorted to see him.}

 

Leano: {Can’t imagine your principal is happy.} 

 

Legosi: {Frustrated, but not mad at me if that’s what you mean. Would have been a lot different if Haru hadn’t recorded the whole thing. I think a part of him is sad he missed that this was happening in his school.}

 

Leano: {And the rhino who attacked you?} 

 

Legosi: {Admitted to everything and then some. Police already took him away. I guess he wised up to how bad this looked for him and thought a confession was his best chance for leniency.}

 

Leano: {What did the cops say to you?} 

 

Legosi: {Nothing, actually. Maybe Yafya listened to Louis after all, cause they seemed to be avoiding me entirely.}

 

Leano: {What about the rest? The other students? Are they okay, too?} 

 

Legosi: {Okay and quite glad I was here. A lot of witnesses. Some even gave the cops more evidence for a conviction. Marko’s been throwing his weight around like this for awhile.}

 

Leano: {And you?}

 

Bubbles appeared on her screen like he was writing, stopping, or deleting things entirely.

 

Leano messaged again, {How do you feel?}

 

It still took a bit for Legosi to respond. {Anxious. Satisfied? Like my emotions are all over the place and I’m still scared - I really was terrified of dealing with the cops - but there was something cathartic about this that I’ve rarely felt.}

 

Legosi ended up sending some of the pictures and conversations from Theo and the other hybrids at school. {And I hate having to say this, but… I think a part of me feels good about it, too… I’ve only had to deal with him for one day, but he’s been here for years and so were the hybrids he targeted. Other carnivores even! And everybody was too scared to fight back and Gon didn’t even know this was going on until I ended it…}

 

{…I promise I tried to give him a second chance, mom. And a third, and a fourth. I tried to get through to him, but my voice never mattered to him… until I fought to be heard…}

 

{…I’m sorry, mom. I wish it could have been different.}

 

Leano had so many thoughts and feelings of her own, but the mother inside was compelled to say one thing first: {I’m proud of you.}

 

Legosi: {…?}

 

Leano kept typing, {I suppose a normal mother would be giving a lecture about trying to talk it out, about how fighting is always wrong or something like that… so it’s probably a good thing we’re not normal, yes?} 

 

She sent more right after that, {I hope that joke translated well over text…}

 

{…but what I mean is… I still remember the night you came out to me, what all we talked about then… and if you need me to reassure you now like I did then, I’ll say it again: you are still an amazing young man whose instinct is to help others in need. I’ll have to thank Haru for recording it all so well because even when fighting that rhino, I saw what you were doing. I saw the way you were looking out for your fellow students…}

 

{…That rhino lost control, but you never did… You were protecting the students around you… and even in his incredibly well-deserved comeuppance… you left him all his eyes…} 

 

Leano confessed, {A part of me is still afraid of how the world will see this, and how they’ll see you… but you will not have to face that alone.}

 

Legosi wrote back, {On that note, Gon did mention something else that might require your assistance, because… um, is it legal for the news to interview a minor without a parent’s consent? Cause some reporters keep sneaking on campus and Gon can only keep them out for so long.}

 

Leano spoke out loud, “Oh dear.”

*

Leano still hurried to leave. 

 

She was almost out the door when Dope ran up to catch her. “Boss ma’am! Boss ma’am, we still need you for a quick minute!”

 

Leano huffed and tried to keep moving, “Unless someone is dying this second, I need to see my son.”

 

The lion kept pace with her, “Yeah, someone might be, but the girl won’t talk to anyone but you - a hybrid girl.”

 

That got her attention. Sharply Leano turned to him, “What girl?”

 

Dope explained fast, “She won’t tell us her name. She won’t talk to anyone but you - the Dragon’s Daughter - but she said she knew something big about Bloodbone and more hybrids could be in danger.”

 

Leano started crunching factors fast, checking the time on her smartphone. “Are you sure this isn’t a prank? I do not have time for that.”

 

An uncomfortable wince crossed Dope’s face, “I mean, I didn’t try to yank her teeth out, but between the spots, horns, and herbivore thickness… that part seemed legit.”

 

The desire to run for Legosi conflicted with the need to be logical. Leano gripped the phone tighter, then pointed her finger in warning, “She gets 5 minutes.”

 

Dope hurried to lead Leano elsewhere, to a side room where a nurse and the younger hybrid were waiting. The nurse kept trying to get the teenage girl talking, but she kept her head down.

 

She looked up when Leano entered the room, and then Leano saw her for herself: a bit younger than Legosi, much broader than a feline should be, with slight horns like a buffalo. The fur coat was far from buffalo brown though - a brighter, sandy color. Several black spots gave the impression of a leopard or jaguar in her heritage.

 

The girl’s mouth opened in awe, unintentionally making her fangs visible. “You’re her.” It wasn’t a question. “The Dragon’s Daughter.”

 

Leano relaxed and took a few steps closer. “The title wasn’t of my choosing, but yes. My name is Leano… What’s yours?”

 

“Brighid,” she said quickly, “But that doesn’t matter. We need your help.”

 

Leano stared at her in confusion. “I was under the impression you were here to help us. You have information about Bloodbone?”

 

“Not Bloodbone.” The teenage hybrid started pacing and rambling, “I mean I think I know what it is, but it’s not what you think. It’s wrong. And I tried talking to the police months ago, but nobody cared. First they said we had to wait longer, then they said we waited too long. They said they couldn’t help, ‘he’s an adult,’ ‘maybe he got tired of you,’ ‘you should leave this to your parents,’ but he’s never been gone this long. This isn’t like him. We haven’t heard from him in months, not even mom, and then all that stuff happened and I just know he’s involved somehow! I heard about you on the dark web and I figured if anyone could help, it’d be you! You have to help us find him before something worse happens!”

 

Leano took hold of the girl’s shoulders to halt her pacing, “Help who? Who’s missing?”

……

Savon was still waiting outside Gon’s office with Legosi. The wolf was patiently biding his time, idly bouncing messages with some of his friends. 

 

Louis was doing the Beastar thing around school and smoothing things over. Haru was on her own “rabbity reconnaissance,” whatever that meant.

 

Agata was leaning against a wall, and probably should have been paying attention on guard duty, but he was watching something else on his smartphone. He wore a single earbud to listen to his phone and the room simultaneously.

 

Savon’s phone began ringing with a tone reserved for one man, so the komodo yanked it out fast and turned it on to his ear. “Gosha?”

 

Legosi’s ear flicked and he looked up. Agata glanced at the reptile. Savon’s phone wasn’t on speaker, but Legosi still heard his grandpa yelling, “Get him out of there! Right now! It’s a set-up!!”

 

Savon replied with military discipline, “Yes, sir. Going to ground.”

 

Legosi stood up right away, using simple signs, [What was that? What’s wrong?]

 

Still listening with one ear, Savon used his free hand to grab Legosi by the shoulder. His eyes were already scanning windows, doors, the suspicious ostrich secretary. Gosha was yelling at someone else on the other side and Savon could understand it, but Legosi couldn’t.

 

Savon covered the receiver, making it an order, “Gosha says get out, we get out!”

 

Whatever had been playing on Agata’s screen, the lion’s eyes had widened in horror. He started muttering, “Shit shit shit shit.”

 

Legosi already took his medicine or his heart rate would have spiked. [What shit? What’s going on?]

 

Savon yelled, “Later!” Just as fast, Savon slapped the security guard’s hat on Legosi’s head and put the jacket on his shoulders. Legosi consented to putting his arms in the sleeves, but he still wanted answers.

 

Agata shoved his own phone into Legosi’s hands, with the video still open on his screen. The answer was there. Savon did not ‘ask’ to use an emergency exit. He forced his way out, and Agata rushed Legosi after him. 

 

Legosi heard the secretary getting up and yelling, “Excuse me?!”

 

The two of them flanked the wolf like protective service. Legosi wanted to watch the video, but they were making him move fast. Savon and Agata were both looking at angles like they expected a gunman. When Legosi glanced up, the greater concern was a small flock of birds overhead.

 

A few students saw them leaving, but only the birds gave chase. They flapped down fast and started yelling, “Legosi!!” “Legosi the dragon wolf!!” “The hybrid!!” “Hybrid Beastar!!” “Can we get a few words?!” “We need a few words!!” “What do you have to say about your brutal nature?” “Are you in on it?? Are you working with him??” “How hungry are you??”

 

[Him who??] Legosi wanted to ask, but Savon and Agata were rushing him too fast.

 

Legosi had no time to do anything until he was in the car, sitting in between Agata and Savon while their driver sped them away. 

 

Some of the birds were trying to follow, but the driver was going far above the speed limit and intent on escaping through dark tunnels.

 

Legosi turned the volume way, way up so he could finally watch the video.

 

*

 

The audio started first, a young man whispering, “It wasn’t supposed to be like this.” 

 

The video crackled to life, an amateur hand holding a basic camera. The feed jumped between several clips, the cameraman creeping around outside a warehouse, and trying to look through the windows. 

 

Inside it was some kind of chemical lab mixed with a factory. Even then, liquid was being poured into bottles for sale. Labels boldly advertised for ‘Golden Beast,’ the drinks responsible for spiking the city. 

 

“It was just an energy drink. It was supposed to just be an energy drink! Marketing! Sales! I thought he was normal! We didn’t know!”

 

As the cameraman snuck along the windows, several figures were working inside - their features entirely obscured by white hazmat suits. The only trait even remotely identifiable was that one figure had the horns of a gazelle.

 

An older man growled over the audio, “What didn’t you know?”

 

The younger one whispered in fear, “It’s the hybrids! They organized everything! The lies, the deaths, all the killings, everything! The hybrids made Bloodbone and they dispersed it to get everyone fighting each other!”

 

The older man asked, “Why would they want that?”

 

The younger answered in disbelief, “Why wouldn’t they?? In a war between carnivores and herbivores, the hybrids can win either way! They’re so good at playing the victim! They’re not like us - any of us! They’re broken in the head! They don’t have real desires, they crave violence! Violence IS what gives them pleasure, inflicting pain on others, and the more of it they make, the happier it makes them! They’re cruel, deceitful, horrid! And we buy it because we feel bad for them! It’s sick!!”

 

The older voice continued, “Well, let it be known that the Madaragumi succeeded where everyone else failed…”

 

The camera feed shifted to the warehouse again, from a distant vantage point this time. The last light of the sun could still be seen on the clouds overhead. 

 

Then from inside the warehouse, there was the deadly sound of gunfire, screaming and yelling, and then it all went silent once more. 

 

“…no Beastar could do it… the cops couldn’t do it… even Gosha and all his gumis just happened to fail…”

 

The warehouse suddenly exploded from the inside out, consumed in a single massive explosion that blew out windows and sent fire racing over all the rest.

 

There was crackling static as the feed shifted again, and then the camera was turned to a group of adult leopards and jaguars. Their faces were masked by hats or hoods, but their old-fashioned clothing showed off the spots on their arms, chests, and tails. A few wore wooden sandals and even bared the spots on their lower legs. 

 

One was holding a traditional bamboo umbrella, and the edge of it hid half his face like the rest. The older voice was coming from him, “It took us one day to find and destroy this factory. I don’t think Gosha even tried. Isn’t it strange how he just happened to be ready for it? He was more ready for this crisis than anyone. And now we hear Gosha has given birth to hybrids himself?”

 

“…Well… we can see the writing on the wall. More of these fiends are still out there, and if no one else is willing to stop them, we’ll do it ourselves. The Madaragumi will not stand idly by while these villains plot our demise. The creator of Bloodbone has escaped to his kindred, and he could be hiding among you even now - hiding his vile intentions with the horns of a gazelle…”

 

“…Yet he dares to wear spots like ours - this miserable monster, murderer of children. He shames even gangsters like us, so let everyone know: we will be hunting… We will track him down and purify his stain from our people, and ensure the safety of everyone…” 

 

“…Until then be wary, gentle animals, or they’ll trick you, too… Guard yourselves… Even his name is a con, this monster who hides his depravity by calling himself something sweet… a monster who calls himself… Doctor Melon…”

……

Leano took hold of the young hybrid’s shoulders to halt her pacing, “Help who? Who’s missing?”

 

The buffalo-leopard fussed with the small horns on the side of her head. “My brother! Melon! Doctor Melon! I think it’s his formula! It’s Jumpstart!”

……

A tiny feline was far too happy, trailing his miniscule claws along the bars of an underground jail cell. His bushy tail was as long as the rest of his tiny body, and it swayed behind him in rhythm. He adjusted his bow-tie to look perfectly presentable.

 

The place reeked of corpses in decay, but the small cat was cloaked in perfume. A jaguar in kimono was guarding the only entrance, but he seemed used to all the blood.

Several bats were hanging inside the prisoner’s laboratory, keeping watch of everything their captive did. Their master, the small cat-like civet, barely came up to the jail door’s keyhole. “Well now, Mr. Melon… how’s the formula today?”

Chapter 59: Is there a doctor in the house?

Summary:

-Long chapter is a double chapter.-

Step 1: give Melon a dad. Step 2: give Melon's mom a name. Step 3: change the future.

(And I'm dumping the manga's child sex abuse chapter in the trash, because there's just no way in hell I'm writing that.)

Notes:

So small. So frightened. Come on, teachers, someone see the signs.

The gym whistle was such a shrill sound. The buffalo’s bass voice after it was even angrier, “Kyle, what are you doing??”

 

Half of the little kids were still running after the ball, kicking it across the field. Others had slowed down or halted entirely. 

 

The little eagle stopped trying to trip the small hybrid. Kyle yelled back, “What? He’s on the other side!”

 

Their gym teacher, a shaggy brown buffalo named Jonathan, was hardly dissuaded. “Melon doesn’t have the ball and you keep trying to kick him! I see what you’re doing! And if you can’t play nice with him, you won’t get to play at all!”

 

Kyle’s feathers bristled in anger and he shot Melon such a glare. The eagle ran after the ball without saying anything else. 

 

The buffalo honestly hoped that would be the end of it, but he caught a look in Melon’s eyes and he didn’t see relief.

 

The tiny Melon just looked more afraid.

 

*

 

Trying to get a moment alone with Melon wasn’t easy. The buffalo wasn’t dumb. Jonathan had been seeing the signs here and there - Melon being picked last for teams, or the first to get targeted.

 

Baseball? Okay, that was the last straw.

 

The horse student was a young kid like the rest, but long-limbed. When it was his turn to pitch, he could throw hard and fast…

 

Melon dropped to the ground so the ball didn’t hit him in the head. Helmet or not, it would have hurt!

 

The buffalo blew the whistle again. “Philip, I know you can throw better than that! Stop trying to hit him! If your next pitch isn’t over the plate, YOU’RE out!”

 

But it was Melon who argued, “It’s fine, coach.” Melon got up fast and brushed himself off, “It was an accident. Really. It’s fine.”

 

Several kids were smirking at Melon’s reply - particularly a group of young carnivores, but even some of the herbivores were doing it.

 

Jonathan grit his teeth and felt like he was swallowing bile.

 

Things had to change, and they had to change fast. He just wasn’t sure how to do it all.

 

The buffalo started to record every incident committed against Melon - every who, what, where and when. Whether it looked like an accident or not, Jonathan made a note of it for himself. Patterns will prove intention.

 

He distinctly made a point of assigning all the teams himself. No more being picked last for anyone!

 

After doing his research, he also instituted a token economy for good sportsmanship. Play well with others, support each other on the field, get tokens. Tokens could be exchanged for small rewards. Aside from food, money is the best thing for positive reinforcement, and kids love prizes!

 

Operant conditioning in action.

 

It might not have been able to sway the worst bullies, but it did sway a lot of the others. The class started treating Melon like an actual part of their teams and not a perpetual outsider.

 

On the bright side, Jonathan did have another advantage: he doubled as the science teacher. 

 

The big buffalo carefully weaved between their desks while handing back homework. He spoke loud enough for the whole class, “You all had some really good ideas for your projects! I’m really happy about that! I bet some of you would do really well in the science fair, too! So I’m going to set some time aside so I can talk to everybody individually. I’ve marked your papers when I’d like to do that.”

 

Hardly ideal, but to make a change required a lot of effort… and changing Melon’s life would take even more.

……

This was supposed to be a good thing, but the tiny Melon still acted like he was in trouble. Melon held his homework in front of him, “You wanted to see me, sir?”

 

The big herbivore could probably pick Melon up with one hand. No way that wasn’t intimidating.

 

Jonathan tried to put on his cheeriest face, “Yeah! I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while actually.” He scooted his chair closer, “How much time do you spend memorizing?”

 

The tiny hybrid looked confused. “Huh?”

 

“Memorizing,” the buffalo repeated, and he held up an old science quiz. “The time you spend reading, the time you spend on homework… how much effort you spend preparing for tests - in this class and others…”

 

Melon glanced aside from him, trying to process a response. “The… average time, sir? …I’m not sure I understand the question.”

 

The buffalo tapped a pile of papers on his desk. “I was looking back through your homework and tests the other day. Your scores are practically perfect. I checked with a few of your other teachers and I’ve heard similar stories from your history class, your math class, geography… less so from your writing teacher. She seems to grade you too hard. The occasional pop quiz has taken you by surprise, but if you know to prepare… you excel.”

 

The hybrid held his homework a little closer to his chest. “Am I in trouble, sir?”

 

The buffalo replied with enthusiasm, “No. Far from it!” Jonathan realized fast he had to pull back and dampen his excitement. Big body, probably scary. “I think you’re way smarter than most people realize. Has anyone talked to you about this before?”

 

At first Melon was just silent and Jonathan thought ‘silence’ was all the answer he’d get. But Melon eventually managed, “The other teachers… don’t talk to me much. Sir.”

 

Even that was laden with so much information.

 

Jonathan put more effort into sounding sympathetic, “Well, that isn’t right… They’re your teachers… It’s their job to help you learn, help you grow…”

 

The tiny hybrid gave a meager shrug. “I thought this… was about a science fair.”

 

The buffalo folded his hands in front of him. “It’s about a lot of things… like those bullies who keep picking on you in gym.”

 

Melon tensed up immediately. He lied, “They’re not! They’re fine. They’re just - messing around.”

 

The buffalo understood, “They’re doing worse outside of class, aren’t they? And whatever they’re doing, it’s enough to scare you. You defend them cause they’ll hurt you worse if you get them in trouble. Right?”

 

The hybrid’s eyes certainly widened like he was terrified. Melon shifted on his feet like he wanted to run - to flee like an herbivore, from another herbivore.

 

The buffalo said, “You are so smart, Melon. You have to know you don’t deserve to be bullied, no matter what anyone else has told you. So… I’ve got a few gifts for you.”

 

Clearly that last sentence was a surprise. Melon actually stepped back as the buffalo took something out of his pocket. The teacher’s oversized hand offered a single red whistle. The buffalo smiled, “You ever seen a panic whistle before? Do not blow this right now, okay?”

 

Melon’s little arm only reached halfway before hesitating. “Wh-what’s a panic whistle?”

 

The cheery buffalo kept his hand out, “You’ve heard my whistle in gym class. It’s loud! A panic whistle is even louder. You could think of this like a self-defense tool.”

 

The tiny hybrid shifted closer to accept the ‘tool,’ yet Melon was still confused. “But it’s… just a whistle.”

 

Jonathan reassured him, “Yeah, but there are a lot of ways you can defend yourself.” The buffalo began gesturing more to get his points across, “With something like this, there are at least two ways: you blow that whistle near somebody, it’s gonna hurt their ears. It might hurt your ears, too! But you’ll know to expect it and bad people won’t. That could give you time to run away or defend yourself…” 

 

“…It's also good if you need to call for help! If a group of bullies is ever making you uncomfortable and you can’t get away from them, then you blow that whistle as loud and as much as you can. Someone around school will hear it and hurry to investigate. …I know you might be afraid of getting those boys in trouble, but if they’re only doing worse things when no one is around, they probably won’t want to get in trouble either. They hear that whistle, they might choose to run away before any adults show up.”

 

The hybrid’s small horns were a little heavier then. Melon glanced away, “The teachers won’t care when they see it's me…”

 

The buffalo slowly got up from his desk, walked around it, and then took a knee in front of him. Jonathan admitted, “I can’t promise they all would… but a bully may not take that chance… and I can promise that I’m going to keep helping you. And if anybody makes a big fuss about you using that whistle to defend yourself, I’ll go to bat for you.”

 

Melon just seemed more cautious, more suspicious - like even kindness was just a trick waiting to be sprung. “Why would you care?”

 

And for the buffalo, it was heart-wrenching. “I care… because we live in a world where you even have to ask that question. And that’s not fair to you.”

 

Melon was just old enough to be cynical. “The real world isn’t fair. And that’s not new.”

 

“No,” Jonathan sadly agreed. “But it’s easier to fight that when we’re not alone.” The buffalo took out another present, but this just looked like a fancy mechanical pencil. He clicked it a few times and wondered, “You ever watch any spy films with your family?”

 

The weary hybrid remained on guard. “Seen some cartoons… Mom won’t let me see the movies.”

 

Jonathan held out the mechanical pencil. “Well, this is another tool for your self-defense! Cause if somebody says something mean while you’re alone… you can record them with this.”

 

The buffalo gently turned part of the mechanical pencil, and it played back a clip of Melon’s voice: “Seen some cartoons… Mom won’t let me see the movies.”

 

Melon’s eyes blinked at the sound of his own voice. He stared at the pencil, then at Jonathan. “This is a spy pen?”

 

“Thereabouts, yeah!” Jonathan repeated the turning movement and played the voice once more. Then he offered a little guidebook from his pocket. “You’re a super smart kid, Melon. I know you don’t have to cheat or anything with something like this. But the thing about spy gadgets is you can’t use them too much. Part of why they work is the bad guys don’t expect it. So keep this secret. Don’t reveal you have it till you really need to use it. But if bullies ever threaten you, and act like it’s just your word against theirs… then you can record them. You can make it so everyone can hear what they said. You got that?”

 

By that point, Melon was as serious as a secret agent, reviewing mission parameters. “Don’t let them know I have it. Keep it secret. Record them if I think they’ll threaten me. Wait for the right moment. Right?”

 

Jonathan’s smile was authentically proud. “Absolutely right. …Now let’s talk about your science project, cause that’s got me all excited, too!”

……

In retrospect, visiting the home was probably not his best idea. But if Jonathan hoped to change things, a few gadgets weren’t going to cut it.

 

He was fighting an uphill battle and barely knew how to stand.

 

The school directory had a phone number and an address, but Melon’s family never picked up. 

 

The buffalo double-checked he had the right address, and that his clothing was crisp and clean. He made sure his tie was straight and professional. He rarely dressed up so stiffly. Well, considering the cheapness of the apartment complex, he actually felt a bit overdressed! Nevertheless, he was here now.

 

Before he could knock on the right door, a female deer whispered sharply from elsewhere, “Hey! Get away from there!”

 

Jonathan looked around and saw a doe sticking her head out of a nearby window. The buffalo said, “Excuse me?”

 

The doe motioned for him to approach, and kept whispering the conspiracy, “You can’t trust her! I don’t know what she told you, but she’s seduced an herbivore before! And then she killed and devoured him!”

 

The tiniest fraction of him could almost believe that was true - but even if it was, it was beside the point. Jonathan grunted and shook off the weird notion. “I’m not here to date her. I teach her son.”

 

The doe made a religious gesture and withdrew, “You’ve been warned.” 

 

She shut her window and the buffalo shut her out of his mind. He was here for a reason - for Melon! The buffalo returned to the door of Melon’s home and gave it several gentle knocks.

 

When that wasn’t enough, he knocked a bit harder.

 

The door had yet to be opened, but Melon’s mother could probably see him through a peephole. He heard her raise her voice, “Who is it?”

 

Jonathan waved at the door, “Hello! Is this Maple the leopard? The mother of Melon? I’m one of his teachers from school. I’ve been trying to reach his family.”

 

The door opened a crack, just enough for him to see her eye and part of her dress. She stayed wary, “I thought it was a prank call.”

 

Jonathan tried to give her a big smile, “No, ma’am. I’m official.” He took out his school badge with his name and picture, and held it up so she could see. “I’d prefer to discuss your son’s education in private, and not where all your neighbors can eavesdrop on us. But I’d also hate to make you uncomfortable.” He pointed away down the hall, “If you’d like, we could arrange a time to talk at his school?”

 

The leopard winced at the thought. “No, no. That… won’t be necessary.” Maple opened the door further and motioned for him to enter, “Please, come in. …Um, do you like tea?”

*

It was like walking into a china shop, all the ornamental lace, everything so flowery and breakable. He wasn’t sure if he even trusted the chairs to take his weight. 

 

Two chairs, he noted internally. One for Maple, one for Melon?

 

Better to just stay standing where nothing could fall. Jonathan kept his arms close at his sides and his hands in his pockets.

 

As Maple started the tea, she whispered, “Melon is watching television in the other room. So we can talk at your leisure. You must forgive me: I receive prank calls so often, I cannot always tell which messages are honest.”

 

Jonathan sympathized with the admission. He glanced at the nearest window, covered by curtains with that ever-present floral pattern. “Something tells me your neighbors aren’t… that civil.”

 

Maple maintained a forced smile like it was a mask, her eyes not even visible. “They can be very rude, yes. I prefer not to leave here if I can.”

 

Jonathan couldn’t keep himself from asking, “Are they rude to Melon?”

 

“No.” A chip showed in her armor, a flash of concern. “At least… never while I’m with him.”

 

The uncertainty escaped her facade. Jonathan tried to avoid his next sentence from sounding like an accusation, “But… you’re not sure?”

 

“Melon is a good boy.” Maple busied herself with the tea, facing it instead of Jonathan. “He takes after his father. Delicate. Innocent. They have no reason to hurt him.”

 

The buffalo said outright, “I think he’s being bullied at school.”

 

Her tea pot clinked against the tea cup. She gripped the pot more firmly. “He’s never said anything like that.”

 

But there was something in her response that sounded like fear - like him being bullied was a worry she didn’t want to admit having.

 

Jonathan spoke a little softer, “I have him in science and gym. Particularly in the latter, multiple students have nearly hurt him. I’ve done what I can to keep that from escalating, but I can’t do this by myself. I’ve had to reprimand more than a few students for that behavior, yet Melon often defends them.”

 

The forced smile kept her eyes shut. Her hands wiped clean on her apron, “Then perhaps it was an accident. You must know how children are at that age. Accidents will happen.”

 

“Respectfully,” Jonathan had to bite his tongue, “I know what an accident looks like. And I know what malice looks like.” Fists clenched tight in his pockets, “They keep trying to hurt your son. And I think he defends them because he’s afraid they’ll bully him even worse. Behind closed doors, maybe they already are.”

 

“Maybe?” She repeated the word like she was holding out hope. “Then he hasn’t told you himself?”

 

“No. He’s scared,” the buffalo gestured toward the other room. “Ma’am, this is not a prank. Your son is brilliant. If another teacher even spent an hour looking at his records, they’d see what I see. And I hate that I have to say this, but it’s plain old bigotry: he’s a hybrid between both worlds and even the teachers avoid him for that.”

 

Maple had distinctly looked away and gripped the kitchen counter. “Melon is… a good boy. He is smart. If there was a problem at school-” 

 

“Do you love him?”

 

The question slipped past her defenses. The leopard turned on him and glared with her real eyes, “I beg your pardon??”

 

Trying to seem less aggressive, Jonathan carefully held his hands over his heart, “Do you… love him?”

 

The angry leopard scoffed, “What kind of question is that?” Her hand moved over her heart so fast, it was almost a slap, “He’s my son! I love him more than anything!”

 

Jonathan showed his empty palms and let them fall, “Because if you love someone, you don’t want to hurt them - but you don’t want to see them hurt either. You’re his mom. There must be things you don’t want to tell him because they’d hurt him. And if Melon loves you, would he want to hurt you? Would he admit something is happening to him if he knew that knowledge would hurt you?” 

 

The leopard grit her fangs. She was clearly fighting the urge to bare them, and brushed her hands off to dismiss him. “I think it’s time you leave.”

 

She said it with such finality, he knew there was no point in pushing his luck further. “Very well.” Careful to bump nothing, Jonathan gave her a formal bow. “Thank you for your time.”

……

As much as he hoped this could have gone otherwise, he didn’t regret going. It had always been a long shot.

 

But he was running out of options. The token system was helping more than he expected, and assigning the teams prevented anyone from being picked last. He hadn’t heard the panic whistle even once, and as much as Jonathan hoped that was a good sign… he couldn’t shake the feeling that Melon was trying to tough it out.

 

The injustice of this world was that some people got in trouble just for defending themselves; Jonathan had no doubt that the tiny Melon knew that already.

 

The real surprise, however… was that Maple called him back the next evening.

 

He hurried across his living room to the phone outlet on the wall. He picked up the phone without knowing who it was, “Hello? You’ve reached Jonathan the buffalo. May I ask who’s speaking?”

 

Her voice was hesitant, “Hi… this is Maple the leopard… We talked yesterday?”

 

For some reason it made him smile. “Hi. I remember.” He rethought himself and quickly apologized, “Listen, I’m sorry I came on too strong yesterday. I was out of line.”

 

“No,” she rapidly cut in. “No, no… that’s… That’s why I wanted to call you… Melon was eavesdropping on us. He and I actually had a long talk yesterday, and today… and I wanted to thank you for bringing this to my attention.”

 

“…Oh,” Jonathan said first, and he took a seat next to the phone outlet. He was careful of the phone’s twisted cord. “I imagine that wasn’t pleasant.”

 

Maple somberly agreed, “It wasn’t… but I think we needed to talk about certain things.” Jonathan heard her moving around on the other side, and she admitted, “I wanted to protect him from certain things. I never wanted him to feel bad about being a hybrid. I never… realized how much he was bottling up inside.”

 

Jonathan tried to reassure her, “Listen, ma’am-”

 

The tired leopard said, “You can call me Maple.”

 

“Maple…” he relented, and took another breath. “I’m just his teacher. I worry for him. But you’re his parent and I’m not. So I’m sorry for the distress I caused.”

 

She mumbled back, “Maybe I needed to hear it anyway… I don’t want him to resent me for being his mother and then not listening when he needs me to.” The leopard shifted and admitted, “You were right, by the way. Those children are being terrible to him. They make a game of throwing things at him, just to see if he can dodge. They say horrible things to him and,” her voice hitched, “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

 

“Well,” Jonathan leaned forward as he felt an overwhelming desire to protect. “I don’t have all the answers myself, but if we work together… if Melon is actually willing to work with me… I bet we can figure something out…”

……

There was a small play area outside the apartment complex. It didn’t have much, but they could still make use of it.

 

Melon held a basketball in his hands, and glanced around the court in concern. “Are you sure this isn’t cheating?”

 

Jonathan double checked the security of an old hoop, “Positive! I never grade on how well someone plays , and there’s no rule that says I CAN’T work with you one-on-one, or tell you what we’re gonna play next.” He gave the hoop a tug and the brackets held, just buzzing in place. “So if we put in some extra practice beforehand, pretty soon everybody is gonna want you on their team!”

 

The buffalo turned toward the little hybrid again, but Melon didn’t look so confident. Melon’s eyes, uncertain, were on the stripes of the basketball and he mumbled, “Being a little better isn’t going to help with that…”

 

Perhaps the first thing they needed to work on was just Melon’s confidence…

 

Jonathan knelt down in front of the kid. He tried to give him a reassuring smile and opened his hands, “Did you know… that being a hybrid… can be a superpower?”

 

Melon’s head tilted far to one side. “What?”

 

The buffalo dramatically traced his fingers through the air, “A superpower! You’ve got the blood of a leopard and the blood of a gazelle!” Jonathan started acting out things with his body, “Gazelle can run super fast and jump so high! Leopards can see in the dark, and track with their nose! Their balance is amazing! Their agility! And you’ve got bits of both of them in you!”

 

Gently pointing to Melon’s heart, Jonathan spoke with such wonder, “So I already know you can be amazing! You’ve got all this potential inside you - and that’s what I’m here for. I’m a teacher! And I’m going to teach you how to bring out those superpowers!”

 

Again Jonathan opened his hands for the ball, motioning for Melon to hand it over. 

 

The tiny hybrid held the ball halfway over, then stopped. Brows knit in suspicion. “…Are you making things up?”

 

“Nope!” The smiling buffalo shook his shaggy head all about. “It’s all facts! But it takes work to bring out those superpowers, and you're the only one who can decide how much work you put in… You gotta practice. So let me put it this way…” Jonathan leaned closer and held a hand near his mouth, like he was fake whispering, “…all those jerks who mess with you and say bad stuff to you… wouldn’t it feel really good to show them up in gym class? To run faster, score more, steal the ball and leave them in your dust!”

 

The idea might have tickled Melon inside, cause the hybrid let a small smirk escape him. Melon swayed side to side, all modest and embarrassed, “Well, um… I guess that… kinda would feel good…”

 

Melon passed the ball to Jonathan, and the gym teacher began their first lesson on dribbling and passing.

 

Up higher in the building, Maple the leopard parted her curtain just a smidge so she could watch them play - and soon enough she was purring happily, tail curling behind her.

……

The fairy tale had shifted at some point. 

 

There had always been two delicate chairs in that room… but one day a third chair appeared - one appropriate for a buffalo. 

 

When Melon and Jonathan came inside for water after practice, he saw it waiting there.

 

Jonathan understood the significance of that gesture right away. “Maple… you didn’t have to buy one for me. I’m fine standing.”

 

“I know.” Maple had a big pitcher of water for him, too. “But someone was going to throw it out, and you’ve spent so much on Melon already… it was an easy decision.”

 

Some days she invited him to stay for dinner. At first he didn’t want to impose, but… it was a good opportunity for them to talk about classes, sports and school…

 

Sometimes Melon asked him to stay longer just to show him a cartoon on tv, or to work on a science project.

 

Little by little, Jonathan got to see the two of them smiling more and more…

 

He liked it… when they got to smile…

……

So excited and ready to jump, Melon cheered when he got home to his mother, “I murdered them!!”

 

Jonathan closed the door behind them and quickly corrected, “Metaphorically! He metaphorically murdered them.”

 

But Melon was racing to his mother already, dramatically reenacting his victory over the team. He rushed through the play by play, jumping from side to side, miming his shots. He bumped a cabinet by accident, but Jonathan was quick to steady it so nothing broke.

 

Maple started giggling and picked the hybrid up in a big hug, “Oh my goodness!~ Who knew we had a star player in the house??”

 

The smirking buffalo cleared his throat and thumbed at his chest, “I did! Told you you’ve got superpowers, didn’t I, Melon?”

 

Maple laughed and had to quickly set her son down, “Well then, it’s my superhero!” She brushed off her hands and looked at the meal she’d been preparing. “This deserves a celebration, doesn’t it? Maybe after dinner we should… go get ice cream??”

 

Melon looked at her in awe, and held the strings of her apron. “Are you serious?”

 

It wasn’t the flavor that had him surprised: just the concept of going somewhere special with his mother. She was practically agoraphobic.

 

The smiling leopard rubbed his shoulders, “Oh, ice cream is very serious business.” She looked up at Jonathan and said, “You could come with us if you'd like - if you’re not that busy, I mean. Do you like ice cream?”

 

And there were a dozen questions she could have been asking instead, but Jonathan was smart enough to pick up the subtleties. The buffalo stroked the thicker fur around his jaw, and acted overdramatic for the child. “Hmmm… ice cream really is serious business…” He grinned and nodded sharply, “and I think the situation totally merits ice cream. So yeah! If you’re inviting, I would love to get ice cream with you two.”

 

Melon cheered again, and the two adults smiled more.

 

Maple mouthed the words, ‘Thank you.’

……

The conversation was inevitable. Jonathan just never cared to hurry it up. 

 

Melon was asleep, they were watching the weather channel, and she wondered, “Why don’t you ever ask me?”

 

“About what?” Jonathan drank from the big pitcher.

 

“Melon’s father,” she said it like it was obvious - and it technically was. “You’ve spent so much time here, the neighbors must have told you something by now… I know the awful rumors they keep sharing…”

 

Keeping calm and unaffected, the buffalo admitted, “I heard an awful rumor before I ever talked to you. It just didn’t change anything.”

 

“Why?” She stared at him in such disbelief.

 

“Why didn’t it?” He asked to clarify.

 

“Yes,” she looked at him so strangely. “They say I ate Melon’s father. That I killed him.”

 

Jonathan just smiled. “That’s easy: because I am not Melon’s father, and Melon is not his mother.” He said it so candidly, like it was just the facts of the world. “Even if you did devour someone - and I don’t believe you did - Melon is still just Melon… and I don’t like seeing anyone get picked on.”

 

The buffalo slowly stretched in the chair, still careful not to bump anything delicate. “When I grew up, the teachers always used to say ‘it’s the responsibility of the strong to protect the weak.’ Well, I happened to be born buffalo. I got pretty strong.” In a rare bout of playfulness, he thumped his fist against his chest just once.

 

Quickly he felt embarrassed by the act and moved on, “Yet at some point, people started using that line against carnivores alone… lecturing carnivore kids for being a certain way… But last I checked elephants, rhinos, buffalos… we’re all stronger than carnivores as adults. Most of us are bigger, too. Just seems weird, the way people ascribe strength and danger to carnivores, and make weakness - victimhood - the domain of herbivores alone.”

 

The leopard seemed conflicted and shifted in her chair, trying to get more comfortable. “I don’t… scare you?”

 

“Cause you’re a carnivore? No, ma’am. You have very nice fangs, and I’m sure they could do some damage. But… I could do a lot of damage and I don’t even need fangs for that.” Jonathan laughed softly and brushed aside the shaggy fur over his eyes, “I remember when I first came here, I was afraid I would scare you. Huge herbivore man shows up unannounced - if I was in your shoes, that would make me nervous.”

 

Maple giggled behind a hand. “You were very frightening, yes… Less so when I realized you were gay.”

 

Jonathan caught himself just before he took a drink. He laughed, “What?? Who told you that?”

 

The slightest panic crossed her face. “…Aren’t you? You teach little kids?”

 

The shaggy buffalo was too amused and tried to make a joke of it, “And my sexuality has nothing to do with any of them, for which I am very grateful!” 

 

Maple quickly fluffed up in embarrassment and hid her face, swearing softly. “I am so sorry! I assumed! Everyone assumes, a man who works with little kids is not straight.”

 

Jonathan cleared his throat to the side, still trying to hold back his own laughter. “That would be a vicious stereotype, ma’am. …I just liked physical sciences and my own gym teachers usually sucked! I figured somebody had to do better somewhere.”

 

It took quite a bit more time and embarrassment on both their parts for the conversation to make any headway after that.

 

The leopard got up and began pacing, still stammering her apologies. “Oh, that sounded horrible. Horrible! I thought you just - I hope you didn't - I wasn't leading you on, was I? I thought - I just thought that-”

 

“You are completely fine, ma’am.” The buffalo shook his head and smiled, “And I’m terribly sorry for any miscommunication on my part. I promise this has always been about helping Melon.” He held his pitcher towards her like he was making a toast, “And I’m still glad you two gave me a second chance to help.”

 

Maple was all the more flustered by that point, anxiously trying to smooth the wrinkles out of her dress. “I’m still glad you tried. I don’t know how well we would have managed all this without you…”

 

The buffalo looked around the room again. “You’re both being bullied by the whole world… that’d be hard even if you were herbivore… You two have had it rougher than most…” 

 

Three delicate dolls were arranged on a small dresser in the corner. Not for the first time, Jonathan wondered if that was supposed to be Melon’s family. He never saw any pictures. “…A lot of herbivores have an expression: ‘it takes a herd to raise a child.’ I don’t know if felines have an equivalent sentiment… Doesn’t seem like your neighbors were helping though.”

 

“No…” Maple shook her head wearily. She sighed deeper with her own sense of exhaustion, “No. They aren’t. And my parents were against me having a relationship with an herbivore. My father hates them and doesn’t speak to me. My mother sends a bit of money every so often, on the sly, and that helps, but… it's a good year if I get two sentences from her on the phone.”

 

“Mean and hard-hearted either way.” It was something Jonathan assumed long ago, but he never pushed her for the truth. At least things felt a bit more relaxed after they had a laugh. Then he wondered, “She scared of your dad? Or…”

 

“I don’t know.” Maple curled her fingers inwards, double checking her claws while hiding them from him. She seemed to be fussing with them out of his sight. “A part of me feels lucky to have any help at all. The funds from the Pure Species Marriage act, the childcare subsidies - we knew we wouldn’t receive any money from those - Melon’s father and I, I mean. We couldn’t even marry according to the law, so it’s just been… me…”

 

The memories clearly hurt. Her tail curled around one of the chair legs.

 

Jonathan wanted to say something to reassure her, but he was struggling for words. “They’re shitty laws…” He huffed in anger, fist squeezing the pitcher in hand. “I know people are fighting to change them, but… who knows if that’ll happen soon…”

 

It wasn’t the first time Jonathan had avoided asking about Melon’s father, but maybe it was the first time she realized it - or maybe it was the first time she felt comfortable discussing it. The leopard looked away, her vision trailing over the floral decorations. “And… for what it’s worth, I didn’t. I didn’t eat him…” 

 

In the silence she gave him, Jonathan calmly replied, “You don’t have to tell me anything.”

 

Weak window reflections let her look at herself and Jonathan, too. She said, “I know. But I think… I want to…” Maple looked at her claws again, “I never bothered arguing with our neighbors. It never felt like there was a point. They’d just go on saying terrible things, and… maybe it felt easier if Melon only thought badly of me… and not his father, too.”

 

Claws hid away. Her hands closed up. “I loved him so fiercely… I loved the way he looked, his innocence and softness… loved being close with him, loved how we had… such romance together…” For a moment she smiled downwards, “People always stared at us in public, and I didn’t care because I loved him so much. I didn’t want to be ashamed of that love, even when I was pregnant… but maybe I was too clingy because one day, before Melon was born, his father just… left.”

 

Jonathan finally asked something just to clarify, “Disappeared? Or…”

 

“No,” she shook her head. Her hands fussed in her lap, “No, I found him. I knew his scent. He’s alive. He just… didn’t want a life with me… or to have a life with Melon…”

 

“Dick,” Jonathan crudely said.

 

It made her laugh somehow. She rubbed a hand over her eyes, “I suppose he was, yes. …And I never wanted Melon to think badly of his father, so I hardly mentioned him at all. The first time I told him the truth was… after you showed up on our doorstep.”  

 

Softly, the buffalo tried to protest as before, “It wasn’t my place.”

 

But the tired leopard insisted, “Maybe he needed to hear it… Maybe I… needed to say it. We cried and talked for hours, about so many things… It… brought us closer in a way… I stopped trying to make life like a fairy tale and we made them real instead… and the two of us were better for it.”

 

“Nothing wrong with fairy tales…” Jonathan sipped his drink. “I like fairy tales. They teach us how to hope. They teach us how to fight. They teach us that things can be fought… It sounds like what Melon needed - in that moment - was just validation and connection…”

 

The corners of her lips quirked upwards in the attempt of a smile. “Yes… I suppose that was it…”

……

Melon, as it turned out, was even more clever than his test scores. He only had to use the panic whistle once.

 

The bullies tried to play innocent, but Melon had recorded everything they said: the way they forced him to the roof and kept trying to make him jump, and how they laughed about pushing him to his death.

 

“If your mom’s genes are stronger, you’ll survive! If your dad’s genes are stronger - well, who cares??”

 

Melon did a damn good job of speaking up for himself, too.

 

Between being caught in the act, the audio recording, and Jonathan’s consistent and INSISTENT documentation of their violent behaviors… well, Maple and Jonathan didn’t give the school any leeway. 

 

Hell hath no fury like a raging mother. Maple practically exploded into the school office, agoraphobia be damned.

 

“This is not complicated!! There are plenty of other carnivores in his class who don’t act this way! This group has abused and harassed him all year long and were in the process of murdering him! Expulsion is the least consequence they deserve right now! Or are you trying to tell me that all of the carnivores in this school are so blase about killing those weaker than themselves?? Please! Please put that down on paper. Everyone would love to hear that. If you do not do something about these kids today, I will be taking this story to anyone and everyone, so everyone knows how dangerous this school is! The sheer criminal neglect of this administration!!”

 

The principal tried to protest, “They’re just boys.”

 

“SO IS MELON.” 

 

*

 

Maple came into a very large sum of money after this, which must totally have been a coincidence and completely unrelated.

 

She still made an effort to be open with Melon, to be honest and talk through things with him. It was a learning process for them all. Maple couldn’t legally marry Jonathan, but eventually they talked about maybe moving in together… Melon was actually excited about the prospect, and about calling him dad anyway.

 

It sounded so incredibly… normal…

 

Melon was older still when they had another such adult discussion, because… Maple was pregnant. 

 

They weren’t trying on purpose, and this was a surprise for them, too. Melon had things so rough, being such a hybrid, and they wanted to know his thoughts, too.

 

Melon remembered, “When I was younger, it really was bad, yeah… I was scared a lot and I always felt alone… but… I don’t actually feel that way anymore. Dad said that one thing that being hybrid could be a super power… and that always stuck with me… I like that idea. If the three of us are all here to take care of them… then I don’t think the next hybrids will have it so bad.”

 

His mother looked slightly more embarrassed at that. “We aren’t really planning for too big a family…”

 

Melon stood strangely confident and sniffed at the air. “I know. But I’ve already got a lot of ideas, and all the superpowers I need.”

 

It would be several years before they realized how big his plans went…

……

Legosi could see a million disasters forming on the horizon. The driver was still speeding them through random outskirts of the city. Savon was trying to reconnect with the gang by phone, but everyone was on damage control. They had to be faster than the worst of society.

 

Legosi returned Agata’s smartphone to him, but the wolf was already trying to sign, [We have to go back.]

 

Agata and Savon both looked at him. Agata asked for clarity, “Behind us? What, where? We pass something?”

 

[School,] Legosi signed, then suddenly second guessed if they knew that one. He typed on his own phone in a rush, {Cherryton! We have to go back! I need to be there!}

 

Savon verbally shut him down, “Yeah, that is not happening. Madaragumi just declared war and they’re enlisting the city to do it!”

 

A desire to growl made Legosi’s throat hurt. The wolf typed even faster and hated the slowness of it, {I am not the only hybrid at Cherryton but I AM the only hybrid who can defend himself!! I need to go back! I am not leaving them to get caught up in this!}

 

Savon barely read it before pushing the phone away, “Gosha said to get you out and that is exactly what we’re doing! You are a target; they would be collateral! We go back now, you will make them a target! Is that what you want?!”

 

The wolf’s body was shaking with intensity, with anger overflowing. Legosi looked equally ready to sign or punch someone, but Agata held his wrist so the lion could read the same message. Agata said right away, “I’ll do it!”

 

“What??” Savon spoke what Legosi was thinking, but Agata had that fearless grin of his. 

 

The racing vehicle turned around another bend and cut the corner. The lion declared, “I’ll go back!” Agata unbuckled himself even as he asked, “If you tell them I’m coming to help, they’ll trust me, yeah?”

 

Legosi locked eyes with Agata, a silent insistence demanding the truth. No tricks? Was this for real?

 

Savon was grabbing tight to Legosi’s shirt and ordered, “Agata, don’t you dare. We have a job! That job is protecting Legosi!”

 

Legosi mouthed the word ‘run,’ and Agata flashed that grin again. He saluted the komodo, “Too late, Savon, can’t hear you, bye!”

 

“Agata!!” Savon yelled his name even as the feline opened the car door and jumped. Agata didn’t even wait for the vehicle to slow, just leapt through the air and executed a perfect roll to land.

 

Their driver yelled as well, swerving, door slamming in the process. Legosi had half a mind to jump out after Agata, but Savon’s grasp was unflinching. The komodo growled in rage, and Legosi shouldn’t have found it amusing, but he did. Oh how quickly things change. 

 

Legosi couldn’t keep himself from smirking and signed, [Sorry.]

 

The komodo huffed angrily, “No, you are not sorry.” Glancing behind them, an unharmed Agata was sprinting back towards the school and trying to flag down a taxi. Savon complained, “Text your friends already! Agata will be back in minutes! I’ll have someone else rendezvous with a car!”

 

Legosi started to do so before another idea hit him all at once. 

 

‘If you tell them, they’ll trust me, yeah?’

 

It was a dangerous, horrible, firecracker of an idea, but haste mattered so much and this was the only card Legosi had to play.

 

{Actually… if the reporters want to hear something… I know what I need to say.}

 

Savon stared at Legosi, knowing he was going to hate this idea already.

 

Legosi began texting again. 

 

{Louis, how fast can your dad put together a televised press conference? Also how do you feel about being with me on live national tv?}

 

{You had me at ‘being with you.’}

……

The Bloodbone Disaster got dozens of people killed and the city had no one to blame for it. Suddenly they did… and Gosha feared the riots were inevitable.

 

If only they had more time. Gosha’s gumis were so close to finding that facility for themselves, but it was already burning down when they arrived - and destroying any evidence with it.

 

‘Time’ was exactly what they were denied. Gosha couldn’t help feeling like everything was calculated, all a part of someone’s plan. Madaragumi would be the obvious assumption, but they’d never shown such foresight or precision before - never anything even close to this magnitude!

 

Everyone was scrambling. Innocents were going to get caught up in this, hate crimes were inevitable, and Gosha needed the gangs to hit the streets again. Hybrids, interspecies couples - there were more families like that every year. It wasn’t like when Gosha was a teenager. 

 

The police were urging people to stay indoors and let the proper authorities handle this investigation. The Madaragumi video made a lot of accusations, but it proved nothing. 

 

Yet considering how often the police had dropped the ball, their words felt hollow.

 

News reporters were digging into Gosha’s life again like they had two nights prior, but they had a fresh target as well. There was only one ‘Doctor Melon’ in the world and suddenly his picture was on tv, too.

 

He looked so… innocent. A tiny little smile. A warmth in the eyes. Spots on his cheeks like freckles. Ears drooped lower like he was embarrassed to be photographed. Gosha wondered if that was the day Melon got his degree.

 

Basketball scholarships. The first carni-herbi hybrid to graduate from Galdona Med, with a particular expertise in chemistry. Naturally he was involved in a lot of recent hybrid research… before disappearing several months prior.

 

The timeline was too close to the arrival of Bloodbone to be a coincidence. People were already making their own conclusions. There was so much to do and Gosha didn’t know how to manage it all. The three gangs were still sporting injuries, their numbers were down, and Gouhin’s volunteers were fractured in shock.

 

Gosha had no idea how many hybrids there were or where they even lived. How do you protect a people you can’t even find?

 

It didn’t help that his oldest phone started ringing. There was only one person in the world who used that number - the one person Gosha kept the line for.

 

If it had rung even one day prior, Gosha would have been jumping to answer - not now, not after the recording Louis shared. Now Gosha only picked it up to be done with it.

 

Yafya spoke the moment he could, “We need to talk.”

 

“You’re too late,” Gosha said with barely contained venom. “I waited thirty years to hear from you, but I have no time for you anymore. These monsters are hunting for my family - just like you threatened to do, and if you had any hand in this, I will kill you myself. This line is now dead.”

 

Gosha crushed the phone in his hand completely and then threw it aside.

 

He still had work to do.

 

In the bustle of so many others, Leano entered the room with three others. Gosha knew none of them: not the female leopard, the male buffalo, or the hybrid teenage girl who was obviously their child.

 

Gosha looked up at them in shock. “Leano, this is a horrible time for introductions.”

 

Leano had her hand on Brighid’s shoulder and said, “Legosi is buying us time. But this matters, too.”

……

Legosi tried to keep his jaw relaxed and not betray the utter terror in his skin.

 

Live television.

 

Live television. It’s just television. That’s live. On national tv.

 

I pantsed a rhino like two hours ago.

 

Fuck.

 

Louis rubbed the wolf’s shoulder, comforting affection like he could read Legosi’s thoughts - or at least the turmoil in his flesh.

 

The wolf’s ear twitched, already hearing reporters clamoring for answers in the other room. The press conference was ready and every minute was another chance for things to go Wrong for someone.

 

A throng of bodyguards from Horns made them look passably legitimate. Oguma came out for this himself. Savon and Hino were still in their disguises as security guards, and Ibuki was here, too. 

 

Louis squeezed tighter on the wolf’s shoulder. Legosi suddenly realized the deer was trying to talk to him. Louis asked, “You want some good news?”

 

Legosi huffed at the concept. [I would love some good news right now.]

 

The deer held up his smartphone to show pictures from Cherryton. “Haru is a very busy rabbit.”

 

A sizeable crowd had gathered outside the administration building, waving a bunch of large posters: {Let Legosi back in!} {Beastar, Beastars!} {Dragon Wolf, Guardian of Cherryton!}

 

All those birds flapping for a story were certainly getting one now. Students were giving dozens of interviews, sharing their own tales, all the little - and big - ways that Legosi had fought to make the school safer. 

 

Sure, some of it was rumor and hearsay, but their affection was real. 

 

Legosi’s tail dared to wag and he looked at the screen with fondness. He used his own phone to text her, {Thank you, Haru. You’re the best.}

 

The rabbit sent a wink back. {Kick their asses for me. I got this locked in over here.}

 

She added another text right after, {You’re amazing. And you’re going to be amazing.}

 

Oh to be as fearless as a rabbit.

 

Then Louis faced him fully and said, “If you want me to talk, I will do all the talking, but the people will want to hear from you. Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

Legosi gulped so hard it hurt. [I absolutely do not want to do this, and I absolutely need to do this. It has to be a hybrid.]

 

Louis rubbed Legosi’s shoulders and let go. “Gray wolf? Or dragon wolf?”

 

Legosi bit his lips. [Dragon.] He dragged a deep inhale through his nose and started to pace his breathing, force a rhythm of his inhales and exhales. His fingers touched at the exposed scars across his neck.

 

Acting! It’s just acting! That’s like half my language. And this time I don’t even have to fake fight a tiger. Nope. 

 

Feet carried them to the future.

 

The guards, Oguma, Louis, and Legosi himself…

 

The moment they walked on stage, there was still a new explosion of questions.

 

Louis stood at the podium in front of the microphones, but kept his body half turned to face Legosi. 

 

Legosi would have loved to hide behind the podium himself, but then people wouldn’t see him sign. 

 

For once Legosi really needed people to see him.

 

Eyes briefly scanned the crowd. Legosi was the youngest person in the room by far… a toddler standing at the adult’s table, hoping to be included…

 

He still felt like he was having a panic attack and struggling to breathe.

 

Louis kicked it off with that coy smirk of his, “Hello! For those who don’t know, I am Louis the red deer - heir to the Horns Conglomerate, and the most recent Cherryton Beastar. My father, Oguma - the sixth CEO of the Horns Conglomerate - is here with us as well. At Cherryton I also have the distinct honor of serving as interpreter for my dear friend: Legosi the dragon wolf. I will continue to serve that function now. We would like to speak to you about recent issues that have plagued our country.”

 

Breathe. Just breathe. We are totally just breathing. We are not talking to the country.

 

We are talking to the fucking country, oh fuck.

 

Legosi tried to keep most of his body still even as his arms began to move. [Thank you, Louis. And thank you for letting me be here today. As many people learned this week, I am a hybrid. I am 1/4th komodo dragon.]

 

The shock was expected, albeit muffled by hands. More cameras flashed.

 

Legosi’s eyes tried to focus on an empty point in the crowd. [I know I don’t look that different. My eyes do. I’m taller. I’m immune to venom, and my nose is unusually sharp. Those traits are what allowed me to help people this week. But that’s just genetics. The luck of the draw, right? How people are born…] 

 

[…The doctors said there was only a 1-in-500 chance for my mom to even be conceived. …I had better odds.]

 

Legosi hesitated for a moment, far too aware of all the eyes on his signs - all the microphones still hanging for Louis’ voice. Flashing cameras kept assaulting his vision.

 

When did the world last focus so intently on a carnivore’s claws?

 

Louis subtly gestured for him to keep going. The deer signed without translating, [You can do it.]

 

[Sorry,] Legosi signed first, and Louis did relay that. [I’m not used to talking about these things.] 

 

There was a quick breath in the room, like someone almost laughed. 

 

It broke up a little of the wolf’s tension and Legosi added, [I didn’t mean that to be a pun, but I guess it is. I can hear, but I lost my voice a long time ago. I am a self-conscious 17 year-old boy, and I’m honestly not used to people actually caring about my thoughts.]

 

Louis held a hand out to momentarily interrupt, “Legosi lost his voice when he was five. An herbivore was being attacked by a carnivore in an alley, and Legosi didn’t hesitate. He ran to help - and nearly died for it.”

 

Legosi looked rather more embarrassed by that, and he hoped his fur wasn’t doing that silly fluffing thing. 

 

Most people would be focused on the scars across his neck.

 

Louis only half interpreted the next part, “Legosi says ‘it was stupid, not brave,’ but I officially disagree with that assessment.” The wolf huffed and complained. “Now he says ‘I’m not helping,’ but the fact is Legosi will sell himself short every time. That is part of why I’m here and part of why we work well together.”

 

That time someone definitely laughed.

 

Legosi covered his eyes for a moment and tried to center himself. [We are not here to debate my self-esteem on national television,] but to his horror, Louis still said that part out loud. 

 

Legosi purposefully shifted more from Louis to the audience, [We are here because of the allegations put forth by the Madaragumi, especially as they pertain to hybrids, to Bloodbone, and Gosha the komodo. Louis and I have pertinent insight to these events, and we can no longer stay silent.]

 

That sounded a bit more official.

 

Legosi had to take a deep breath because this was it. This was jumping in the deep end, with no clue what was underneath or how far it could go.

 

Stand still, don’t move, and others would drown for sure. 

 

All cameras watching, Legosi took the plunge…

 

[The Madaragumi claim all hybrids are liars and con artists… The hybrids I know are too scared to even defend themselves, much less speak up. Before this year, I was exactly the same. A rhino just tried to kill me two hours ago. That was less than 48 hours after my heritage was revealed to the school - a rhino who has perpetrated this behavior on multiple hybrids before. The police have the evidence, and the videos are probably all over the internet by now. He would not stop … because he knew we were easy targets.]

 

[Me? I’m lucky. And I know I am. I could pretend to be normal. Because of my injury, I was homeschooled for a long time. I was protected. But I’ll be honest: after getting my throat ripped out, I grew up scared. So… it is not an accident that I was ready for this week…] 

 

[…It is the result of consistent, intense training over a decade. My grandfather used to work with the Sublime Beastar - with Yafya, yes - so when I was ready, my grandpa trained me to defend myself… A lot of people have been hearing his name recently, and I’d rather people hear of our association from me: my grandpa is Gosha the komodo.] 

 

The press conference exploded with new questions, and Legosi had to cover an ear. 

 

It was difficult getting people quiet enough to continue, but they were hardly done.

 

Legosi explained, [A year ago my grandfather was just a construction worker. When my mother was born, he retired from his vigilante work with Yafya to take care of her… to be a father…] 

 

[…But this summer I was kidnapped by the Shishigumi. To escape, to save my life, it became necessary for me to kill several members of the gang, including the previous Chief of the Shishigumi.]  

 

Someone asked without identifying themselves, “You killed the Chief? Did he translate that right?”

 

Legosi gave a grimacing, embarrassed, [Yes? I didn’t have a choice. I was bound and he was trying to devour me.] The wolf paused for a moment. [I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t even like competitive sports! I’m in the garden club. That’s what I like. He clawed me, and I remember thinking… I just wanted to live.]

 

Someone else called out, “A disabled 17 year-old killed yakuza elite??” “You expect us to believe that?”

 

The wolf squinted in their direction and sniffed. He signed more slowly, [Your belief is not required, and that attitude is why I haven’t bothered with this before now… I neither need nor want people to know about that day. It was horrible for me. I have even less desire to argue for recognition. I would love to forget what happened to me…]

 

[…But the Madaragumi say people like me are malicious tricksters and con artists, so I have to share the truth first - like it or not - or they will use it against us. The hospital will still have records if you actually care. I still have the scars on my chest and arm, and the sword under my bed. I got my hand on one of their guns, but I didn’t keep that. Guns are Louis’ thing.]

 

Something in the duo’s delivery left the reporter with egg on his face. The rest of the audience was rethinking their own assumptions of this one wolf boy.

 

Legosi shook his head and pressed on. [Yet as you can imagine, having killed ‘multiple yakuza elite’ - as you so put it - my prospects were not great. Louis actually recruited a team of Horns specialists to rescue me, including Gideon on my left. That is also where my grandfather came in.]

 

[Gosha used his previous vigilante experience with the Sublime Beastar to take control of the Dokugumi and Shishigumi. In this way he hoped to ensure my survival and protect me from retaliation.]

 

Legosi adjusted the way he stood to provide extra emphasis, [I want to make this part very clear: I am not part of either gang… I have however been working with Louis and the Great Panda Clinic on a recent case. That was when we first encountered a variant of Bloodbone - of which we now know there are several.]

 

Louis held out his hand toward Legosi because he wanted to speak for himself, “The Madaragumi accused Gosha of being too-ready for this attack. He wasn’t. None of us were, but we tried to be - in our capacity as agents for the Sublime Beastar. Yafya had a small group of us working on a classified operation in conjunction with the Great Panda Clinic. To aid the clinic, Legosi and Gosha were further able to enlist the help of the three allied gumis.”

 

One of the reporters jumped in, “Legosi was actually able to secure the assistance of the three gumis for a crisis situation?”

 

Legosi’s ear flicked at the phrasing. He signed slowly, [I wouldn’t put it that way, no… My grandpa already wanted to help. We've been… reforming the gumis, I guess you could say.]

 

A dozen reporters still gasped and hurried to write that down. ‘Hybrid Beastar reforming gumis in undercover operations.’

 

A hen spoke sharper, “Are you saying you had foreknowledge of Bloodbone and withheld it from the public?”

 

Louis countered the accusation just as sharply, “I am saying I, Louis the red deer, worked for Yafya and as my direct supervisor, I reported everything to him… I am not at liberty to comment on Yafya’s decisions or his decision-making process, or what he decides should be kept classified. Yafya will not like us even talking about this much, but we are doing it anyway.”

 

Big giant ‘Go Ask Yafya’ sign here.

 

Louis squeezed the wolf’s shoulder again, “I can say that Legosi and his family had no part in this operation initially. Despite what you may have heard, Legosi isn’t even a Beastar yet. He had no reason to get involved, but he did.”

 

The light in Louis’ face mixed affection with reverence, and it made Legosi feel weak.

 

Louis continued to praise him, “Legosi was scared that my work for Yafya would get me killed, and despite my objections, Legosi insisted on protecting me himself. It is not exaggeration for me to say that I and many others are only alive because of Legosi. He has repeatedly gone above and beyond the call of duty to save lives, and has not once ever asked for credit or recognition.”

 

Legosi’s tail got away from him: it started wagging despite his attempts to hold still. He rubbed at one side of his face and hoped he wasn’t getting fluffy.

 

Louis shifted his grasp back onto the podium. “It is because of Legosi I can stand in this room. It is thanks to Legosi I am standing with him now.”

 

Louis put extra emphasis on the word, “If this Doctor Melon or any other hybrids are responsible for this attack, they can be found and tried for it. Legosi and I were already in the process of investigating it yesterday. But for the Madaragumi to make such broad, baseless accusations about a diverse population? That all hybrids could be so horrible in such identical ways? Please, everyone stop for a moment and reflect on the source.”  

 

Louis laid out all the pieces like a puzzle. 

 

“The Madaragumi are a conservative criminal syndicate, who pride themselves on their traditions and supposed superiority.”

 

“This is a group who has already been greatly weakened by the operations of Yafya and Gosha to curtail back alley violence. This is a group who found themselves vastly outmatched by their combined efforts.”

 

“The Madaragumi would not be able to contend with the Sublime Beastar, the police, or an alliance of three other gumis. They have no chance of winning a conventional war, and are clearly trying for the unconventional.”

 

Louis added more flair for the dramatic, “The Madaragumi say it’s convenient no one else could find that facility. I say it’s convenient they did! And they burned it down, which just happened to destroy most of the evidence. Then they gave a sensationalized account to undermine the Sublime, the police, Gosha, and even Gosha’s hybrid family.”

 

Louis shook his head, “I love theater, but you don’t have to be a theater kid to see how this has been staged. The Madaragumi painted themselves as the only successful heroes in the city and are attempting to stoke the flames against their enemies, our fellow citizens…” 

 

“…Most forms of interspecies marriage were legalized ten years ago, and there have been more marriages every year… The Madaragumi are desperately trying to stay relevant in a world that is leaving them behind.” The deer scoffed at it, “It is almost laughably transparent how they want to look like heroes.”

 

Legosi pointed out, [The overwhelming majority of hybrids are not even ten years old. We are talking about children in elementary school. I’m only seventeen - and this is supposed to be a school night.]

 

Legosi scrunched his eyes shut, begging and praying as his hands spoke the words. [That's where I’m supposed to be right now: a student, at school, chatting with friends, getting ready for tests, trying to fit in with everybody else. I wanted … so much … to just be a normal kid for once in my life… but if my silence now means more kids could get hurt… then I can’t be normal.]

 

Louis’ voice carried it further.

 

The room had gotten so quiet at some point, and Legosi was even slower about opening his eyes. 

 

His gaze drifted over the crowd. 

 

[You don’t have to like us, but please… please don’t hurt us for just existing… We are not what the Madaragumi said we are. Most of us… just want to live.]

 

Cameras flashed, and Legosi’s eyes fell lower.

 

Off to the side, a Saint Bernard cleared his throat. He had a large tablet under his arm and loudly declared, “The Sublime Beastar wishes to offer his formal apologies - both for his mishandling of this matter and for this interruption. May he deliver that himself?”

 

The assembled reporters seemed like they were about to go crazy.

 

Louis and Legosi both looked at him suspiciously. Louis was not subtle as he asked, “Is this a trick?”

 

The Saint Bernard was clearly trying to ignore the sweat on his brow. “Yafya has instructed me to say ‘This is not a trick,’ and also that he is ready to face any consequences from this intrusion.”

 

If Yafya said the wrong thing, this night could still end in fire.

 

Better it be aimed at Yafya and the government, not innocent hybrids. 

 

Louis remained unflinchingly skeptical, but he graciously motioned for the dog to take the podium.

 

Every step that dog took was another step towards the dead.

 

He turned on the tablet’s screen and showed it to the audience.

 

For the first time in years, Yafya’s face was on tv - though just his face. His injuries weren’t visible. He appeared to be wearing a suit, but the screen didn’t show anything below his neckline.

 

“This is the Sublime Beastar. I am not in the habit of making appearances, or apologies. In this case both are necessary. As Louis recently reminded me… I must take responsibility for my own actions. Louis and Gosha both fought to express the severity of this situation to me multiple times, and I failed to treat it with an appropriate amount of concern…” 

 

“…The Bloodbone Disaster was the result of my gross negligence. I would ask that you not hold these bright stars accountable for my failings. They tried to warn me, repeatedly. …I didn’t listen. Gosha, if you’re watching this… I’m sorry I was a horrible friend…”

 

Yafya sat up straighter and spoke more robotically, “Until this crisis has been brought to a close, I will maintain my current position to quickly connect departments and manage resources - financial and otherwise - and then, effective immediately, I will be resigning as your Sublime. I am sorry … to have failed you all.”

 

A bird in the audience fainted from shock.

Notes:

{Okay, Haru: how bad is the damage?}

The rabbit promptly sent back a wicked grin and a picture of the crowd. {Heheh… it tripled.}

{The damage tripled?} {The crowd tripled since you went live. A majority of the school is outside the administration building right now.}

{Oh… Well… that’s not bad then?}

Chapter 60: That's one way to Jumpstart

Summary:

We write not just what is, but what could be.

And the Good Cherryton Boys (Chap 45) finally get an answer.

Unfortunately the big problem with having a chronic illness is that I'll randomly lose a lot of time due to illness. The last few months were difficult as I was sick for many weeks, some of them back to back. This last week was another of them - and though I'm sure it was a horrible week for most people, it has made my depression spike significantly. Thankfully I have the best husband who's always taking care of me and supporting me. But if you can spare a few kind words my way, my self-worth would appreciate them. Comments keep me writing.

Notes:

Kill him, Yafyakin. *ignites red saber*

In less than thirty minutes on camera, Legosi may have saved countless lives.

 

Gosha would have liked to say he appreciated it, but the grandpa in him was filled with such a sense of dread. 

 

Proud? Yes, naturally. 

 

Happy that Legosi did so at his own expense? Hardly.

 

Now the whole world knew Legosi was the grandson of a komodo mob boss.

 

Before Gosha’s venom could make a brand new hole to the basement, he just about glued his mask onto his face.

 

The old komodo most certainly did not expect that exchange from Yafya either. The Sublime Beastar finally showing his face on tv… to apologize? No way. 

 

It was still far too soon for Gosha to get his hopes up.

 

Leano, Melon’s hybrid family, and a wide number of lions were all looking at their old man. Waiting for him to say something?

 

Teeth gritting, Leano nudged her father into action, “Legosi bought us time. Let’s not waste it.”

 

Gosha swallowed as much venom as he could and nodded. He raised his voice, “You heard her! We make this count!!”

 

Half the gangsters ran to hit the streets and the other half stood at attention for orders.

……

The reporters had a million questions. Louis was trying to field what he could, but Yafya’s sudden resignation surprised him, too.

 

If it only took a few bulletholes to change a fascist, maybe Louis should have shot the horse sooner.

 

Clearly Legosi was running low on energy, but the wolf didn’t want to leave too soon. Fleeing felt like a confession of something worse, like he was guilty, or afraid of being found out a liar. 

 

The clamor of reporters were desperate to know, “The videos going viral on the internet - are they real?”

 

Legosi replied from adjacent to the podium, [I cannot verify every video on the internet. If you have specific questions about specific videos, I can answer those.]

 

Cameras were still flashing. “Did you really wrestle a gator?”

 

[Saltwater crocodile.]

 

“Did you really jump off the roof?”

 

[With my friend, the eagle, yes.] Legosi rapidly added to that, [And before you ask, I knew we’d be fine. He’s a good friend, I’ve been training him, I knew exactly how strong he was. If it wasn’t an emergency situation, I would have used the stairs. Where the komodo was on campus, we had no time to waste.] 

 

One reporter started to ask about Legosi’s nose, but another reporter yelled over top of them, “What do you mean by training?? Training him for what??”

 

Legosi had to keep his snout from wrinkling. [Self-defense - and, technically, defense of others. A few of my friends were worried that our herbivore classmates were in danger. They begged me for a few tips.]

 

The response was aghast, “You were training carnivores to protect herbivores?”

 

Legosi gently insisted, [Don't put it that way. They’re my friends; they begged me cause they wanted to help more friends.]

 

Louis held up a hand to add for himself, “And not that this should matter to any of you, but he’s trained myself and a rabbit as well. So this is not a carnivore-herbivore dichotomy. This was a personal matter, a matter of friends helping friends. I have always said that carnivores and herbivores are stronger together, and Legosi manifests those same values in his personal life. Thank you.”

 

Another reporter followed up on that, “You mentioned undergoing a lot of intense training yourself. What does your training regimen look like?”

 

Off the top of his head, Legosi started going down a list of exercises. He mentioned what he did with weights and without, and his daily run - with a caveat that he’d been amending his workouts for their back alley operations. Some of those evenings had been more demanding than others. Several reporters still went wide-eyed over his extensive explanation.

 

But then some herbivore had to be a jerk again. “If your grandpa is Gosha the komodo, is your mother the Dragon’s Daughter?”

 

Legosi sighed. [She’s not so fond of that name, but yes, the back alleys have taken to calling her that.]

 

The reporter dug deeper, “So where’s your father in all this? Is he part of the gumis as well?”

 

The wolf hesitated for only a moment, aware that this was probably a trap. Yet honesty remained his choice of action, [I actually don’t know where my father is. He’s never been in my life.]

 

Rapid-fire, camera flashes began a new attack, and the reporters shot off an equally-fast series of questions. “Did your parents divorce?” “Were they ever married?” “Did he find out about your blood?” “Did your grandpa not approve?” “Did your mother trick him into a relationship?” “Did he mysteriously disappear??” “Did someone kill him??”

 

It was more than annoying, but Legosi managed to hold back from showing it. He kept his fur from bristling out of sheer willpower. The wolf signed slowly, [I cannot answer what I don’t know. My mother’s relationships are her own.]

 

“You never asked her?” “You were never interested??” “Your own father??”

 

[Of course I was interested.] Legosi signed like it was obvious, [It’s called being polite - something the world forced me to learn at a very young age. I don’t feel the need to dig into someone’s personal life, especially when I know it might be painful.]

 

A reporter still latched on to that, “So you knew it was a painful break-up?? What kind of circumstances were they really??”

 

Legosi huffed and tried not to glare. 

 

*

 

Legosi might have gone further, but Louis was actually the one who put an end to the questions. 

 

Hino was still dressed like a security guard from when they first showed up at school. He approached the deer and whispered something into Louis’ ear. Legosi couldn’t make it out with all the other noise. But then Louis declared into the microphone, “You’ll have to forgive us, but apparently there’s a situation at Cherryton. They need Legosi and I to handle it. You can refer any additional questions to Darth or my father’s men. Thank you again for your time.”

 

Reporters were still screaming for answers, but Louis strode fearlessly off stage. There was no room for further debate, and Legosi honestly appreciated that. His interpreter was leaving! Nuff said. Legosi gave the audience a final timid bow, then hurried after Louis.

 

Building security guards locked the doors behind them. Hino and Savon stayed with them as always, and they regrouped with several other gumi guards as well.

 

Legosi waited till they were further from the crowd, walking in a back hallway to another exit. The drained wolf was tense and unsure how much more he could actually take. [What’s going on at Cherryton now? Cause I’m at the end of my rope for ‘wrong,’ and I really really need to sleep.]

 

The red deer was smirking and jostled him by the shoulder, “Sleep is exactly the problem; we need to put the school to bed!”

 

Legosi’s ear flicked. [What? …Can you say that again without the metaphor?]

 

A playful Louis got out his phone, “Let’s hear it from Haru.~” Louis quickly texted the trio’s group chat, {Okay, Haru: how bad is the damage?}

 

Legosi rolled his tired eyes and got out his own phone.

 

The rabbit promptly sent back the emoji of a wicked grin. {Hehehe… it tripled.}

 

Legosi asked in concern, {The damage tripled?} 

 

A picture finally came through from Haru’s smart phone. {The crowd tripled since you went live. A majority of the school is outside the administration building right now.}

 

Legosi suspiciously looked at Louis, yet the deer still seemed far too entertained by the school’s rebellion. The wolf texted back, {Oh… Well… that’s not bad then?}

 

“Nope!” Louis laughed. The red deer got just close enough to bump hips with his boyfriend. “Gon told people to use their voices, and they are!”

 

Legosi puffed his next exhale. [You made it sound worse!]

 

As the two of them entered an armored car, Louis insisted, “And without us, it would be worse. Doesn’t sound like they’re going to back off until we make an appearance… They want you back, Beastar.” 

 

Legosi shook his head and hurried to get buckled in. [I’m not a Beastar yet, Louis.]

 

“Yet,” Louis pointedly repeated. “Yet. …And that’s likely going to change very soon.”

……

Haru’s photograph failed to capture the immensity of it. Reporters were still there and asking so many questions, and so were many adults on staff. Cameras were flashing, microphones recording, videos scanning the whole crowd and sharing to live tv…

 

The komodo, Belladonna, was driving their armored car. Savon would have preferred the group get closer to the admin building before leaving the vehicle, but the crowd was making that impossible. Hard to say if it was the medicine or the stress of everything else, but Legosi was just too tired to keep drawing it out.

 

It was difficult just getting the door open with so many students crowding around. Legosi couldn’t name even half of them, but they knew him. There was a dull roar of conversation and he could barely make out the individual comments - all the support being yelled his way. 

 

Ears half lowered to muffle the noise, though Legosi’s tail was wagging before he knew it. Awkward and embarrassed, he signed [Thank you] so many times and hoped they’d understand.

 

He was almost separated from Louis early on. Pointy antlers got a bit too close to someone’s face. Legosi was going to need Louis to interpret, though, if he wanted this over fast.

 

Legosi picked up the deer with surprising ease, lifting Louis up onto the wolf’s shoulder and seating him there. Louis protested for only a moment, but Legosi and their guards really could move faster that way.

 

With antlers so high, it was easier to see the pair like that, too, and people stepped aside to give them a path. Louis started shouting, “Legosi here! Guardian coming through! Make way!”

 

They passed the drama club, the fencing team - Legosi’s roommates were among the crowd and so were the school wolves, the reptiles - so many faces Legosi might have expected to see, but having them all there at once was overwhelming! 

 

No wonder the school administration called for help. This would not end quietly.

 

A number of leopard and jaguar students were holding up signs, ‘Spots for Legosi!’ A counter protest against Madaragumi? At least one was from the track team.

 

Legosi couldn’t stop smiling or keep his tail from wagging into people. Hino and Savon were still trying to stay close and play bodyguard, yet that was increasingly difficult. 

 

They hurried to the front of the administration building. Haru, Gon and several others on staff were there, waiting on the steps.

 

Legosi set the deer down when they finally had space, and Louis promptly adjusted his jacket. Louis loudly exclaimed, “You called, Gon?~”

 

The old tiger seemed rather more sober than the laidback Louis. Gon had a megaphone in hand to address the crowd, “As I stated: Legosi is not being expelled or punished! He is not responsible for Marko and he is not responsible for Bloodbone! This is still his school! And no pitiful, prejudiced video is going to change that!”

 

The crowd might not have believed that until they saw Legosi for themselves, standing on the stairs with the rest.

 

Gon handed Louis the megaphone and quietly begged, “Legosi, Louis, please… say something.”

 

Yet cool, confident Louis looked directly at the wolf and whispered, “You heard the man, Legosi.~ What do you want to say?”

 

Tired, modest, and so very overwhelmed, Legosi had no idea how else to put it: [I appreciate this so much, everyone, but it’s been a horrible day and it’s a school night! I need to get to bed! I’m exhausted.]

 

Between Legosi’s expressions and Louis’ delivery, a few members of the crowd even gave it a laugh.

……

A low wooden desk was kicked aside with so much force, it shattered against a bookcase. The raging jaguar was dressed in the old-fashioned clothes of the Madaragumi, proudly baring the spots on his arms, chest, lower legs…

 

Yet right now, the jaguar’s fur was so riled up, every spot was vibrating like an insect. 

 

The jaguar grabbed a professional civet by the dress shirt, and slammed him into the wall, yelling, “You made us look like idiots! Fools! Simpletons!!”

 

The civet held the jaguar’s thick arm for support, tiny dress shoes dangling underneath him. Formal fabric threatened to tear. The civet was tempted to snarl in turn, “I’m not responsible for the content of your video - a fact I regret now! Clearly your men couldn’t even handle that! Now put me down so we can discuss how to fix this like rational adults!”

 

“Or what??” The violent jaguar kept on growling, “I feel vastly more inclined to just snap your neck right now!”

 

The miniscule civet stared him down, “Or 100 vampire bats will drain you dead before you can leave the room - and that will be such a waste, considering how close we are to victory!”

 

All around the room’s ceiling, line after line of bats spread their wings. 

 

Many were even baring their fangs - dozens of needles, all of them deadly. Even if their victims escaped, there was no guarantee it’d be with both eyes.

 

Two other jaguars had followed their leader into the room. The two were dressed in a similar fashion as him, decades out-of-date on purpose. One of them drew a sword, another pulled out a gun, but neither felt confident in leaving that building alive.

 

Punch enough holes in their arteries, they might not survive for medical attention.

 

Their leader just found it hard to care. “You said this would put us out on top, Deshico! How can we even show our spots now?? Your stupid plan turned the great Madaragumi into a joke!!”

 

Deshico the civet replied with a horrible grin, “On the contrary: this turn of events is because of two extremely-vulnerable children. Do you or do you not want to take everything from Gosha and his gumis? Because it has now become so much easier.”

 

“Convince me!” The gumi’s leader let Deshico fall to the floor, bare fangs still making a threat for him. 

 

Deshico held back the urge to growl, standing up and fixing his clothes instead. “This is your problem: you still don’t know how to pivot with new information. Swaying a city is a matter of degrees. The cards were always stacked against us, but we still would have won the public’s support tonight - if not for those pathetic Cherryton children.” He scoffed at them, “Beastars? The bar has dropped so low these days.”

 

Attempting to regain his professional appearance, Deshico adjusted his tie and suspenders as well. “Don’t confuse tonight with the end of the war. We still have the chemist, we still have Bloodbone, and Gosha’s grandson is revealed to the entire world as the polluted mutt he is. The so-called ‘dragon wolf’ just made himself the linchpin for all our goals.”

 

The snarling jaguar gripped the sword at his own waist, preparing to use it on the smaller feline. “The Madaragumi does not need your assistance in killing the mongrel child. If that excuse is the best you can do-”

 

Deshico sarcastically interrupted, “Who said anything about killing him?” The civet gagged as if the concept somehow offended him, “Making a martyr of the ‘mongrel’ is the last thing you should desire. No, my good fellow: the way we win… is by showing the whole world what that hybrid is really like on the inside. They see a victim - which is exactly what your video said they would see… How did your man put it? ‘Deceitful, cruel, horrid, a lover of violence’…”

 

The gumi’s leader was listening closely by then. He kept his hand on the hilt of his sword, but in a relaxed way - less ready to murder. The boss assumed, “We twist his arm… get him to reveal the monster inside… we’ll prove we were right all along.”

 

“Now you’re getting it,” Deshico declared, and he looked more confident now that his death was postponed. “The wolf boy’s eloquence was not a factor any of us counted on - and I wouldn’t be surprised if the deer was feeding him lines. That is not a mistake we’ll make twice.” Deshico stooped lower to pick up a wooden shard from the broken table. “So go back to your fancy night clubs with your masks and your drugs. I’ll send the bats to do more reconnaissance on the hybrid mutt. We will find where he is weak, just like Melon… and when we’re through with them, they will prove my research is right as well.”

 

A spotted leg stomped in front of Deshico. The giant jaguar boss leaned over him, throat still growling for murder, “Be advised, doctor… make us look like fools again, we won’t be having a conversation. Understand?”

 

The civet sighed and tossed aside the wooden shard. “And here I thought we were finally making progress…”

……

For the seventh time in five minutes, Legosi insisted, [I’m going to sleep!] He rolled over in bed and complained, [No more craziness, please! For one night!!]

 

The other dogs in 701 were anything but tired. Some of them were bouncing off the wall, going mad with theories and curiosities, trying to beg for answers. 

 

Legosi’s only response was to pick up the pillow and put it over his head.

 

Gosha’s gumis could take it from here.

 

Jack tried to defuse the rest, “Guys, I know you all have questions - and so do I - but this has been a terrible day for Legosi. He was barely standing before he even got in the room.”

 

Savon already went through the dog’s room with a variety of scanning tools, checking for electronic bugs or nefarious implements. His security uniform was particularly appropriate for the task. 

 

Then he texted the all-clear to the rest of the family, and also spoke aloud to the dogs, “I’ll be switching out with someone else soon. Gosha will want my report face to face. You kids are fine with lions, right?”

 

All movement stopped at once. Every dog started flashing back to that one night when Legosi came home wearing the shirt of an older male lion - and the incredibly suspicious ‘just-had-sex look’ Legosi had been sporting then as well. 

 

They never did come to a conclusion on whether Legosi lost his virginity that night, or just enjoyed killing lions that much.

 

Collot said, “Lions??” Miguno grinned, “Lions.” Voss asked, “What kind of lions?” Durham added with no subtext, “They’re not like a daddy lion, are they?”

 

Savon gave the dogs a weird stare. He clutched the phone in his hand, “A daddy? …Where are your canine brains going right now? You know what, I don’t want to know.”

 

The bedroom door opened and Hino stepped inside, confused and keenly aware he entered at a weird time. 

 

Somehow even in a security guard’s uniform, Hino was sparkling in the lights. An angelic chorus might have shown around him. Roses magicked into existence. Everyone within a one kilometer radius was 10% more gay.

 

Smirking, Miguno began rapidly drumming on Durham’s arm. Durham whispered in awe, “All is revealed.” Voss sighed in defeat. Maybe it wasn’t murder after all.

 

Jack squeaked and almost fell over.

 

Hino tried to ignore them. “Your replacement is arriving now, Savon, and so is the rest of the crew. You can head out as soon as you want.”

 

Savon huffed and headed for the door. He almost left, then second guessed himself. Savon whispered to the lion, “Watch them, too. They’re…”

 

“Suspicious?” Hino wondered. 

 

“Weird,” Savon answered. “Just weird.” 

 

Hino patted him on the shoulder, “If they’re Legosi’s roommates, that doesn’t surprise me in the least.” Hino winked at him once, “I got this.”

 

Savon was barely gone before the mandrill mother was running over. Her murderous eyes were leveled directly at the lion, ordering him, “You cannot stay here! You cannot! I know what you are. I am not afraid of you.”

 

Hino casually leaned against the doorframe, then pushed some of the longer locks away from his face. The sparkling lion just smiled at her and waited. 

 

Dammit. Even his breath smelled nice.

 

The mandrill hesitated, angry eyes glaring him up and down. “What are you doing? You cannot stay here! This is a dormitory for students, not criminals!” She pointed down the hall for him to leave the way Savon left, but Hino still just stood in the door.

 

The amused lion murmured through a sigh, placid as could be. Hino gradually crossed his arms over his chest and gave a measured, drawn-out shrug. That luxurious mane would ripple with the smallest of movements. New sparks seemed to dance around him. 

 

As the mandrill’s face turned redder, her voice rose, too, until she was actually yelling at him! 

 

People in nearby rooms were trying to glance down the hall at the disturbance. A few of the children gave unhelpful giggles.

 

Hino was a blissful calm in the storm, and finally whispered, “We’re on the same side tonight, madame… Legosi has had a horrendous day, has he not? He can’t sleep with you yelling.”

 

The mandril’s dangerous finger was awfully close to his face, and Hino just stood there being frustratingly noble about the whole thing. She hissed at him, “You have five minutes to be gone before the police get here.”

 

Neither would be happening. No point in arguing though.

 

Hino slowly stepped back into the room and began closing the door. “Goodnight, miss. Your puppies have never been safer in their entire lives.”

 

Aside from an annoyed Legosi under the covers, the 701 dogs were certainly not asleep. They even started giggling as Hino gestured to the door. The lion said in a humorous way, “If anyone else is uncomfortable with me here, I won’t mind if you want to leave. But I will still be here, guarding Legosi.”

 

The dogs cheerily answered, “Nope!” “No.” “I’m good.” “Why are you hot?”

 

“Genetics, fur care products, and cultivating calmness.”

……

An emergency meeting of Gosha’s gumis was all but demanded.

 

Unfortunately, Legosi had been wrestling with a panic attack all day and was crashing hard. He didn’t have the brain space for anything further. Energy drinks, however, were Louis’ friend!

 

Haru also wanted back in with all the rest of the crazies. So while Legosi finally got to rest, Haru intended to play notetaker.

 

Gosha, Gouhin, Leano, Melon’s family, Ten, Savon, and other senior members of the three gumis all gathered in the command center. 

 

Members of the clinic were there as well, including a number of other doctors - carnivores and herbivores. Standing close to Gouhin was a particularly-relaxed alpaca. The teenage herbivore gave Louis a strange feeling of deja vu, but the alpaca’s track outfit was far from a Cherryton uniform.

 

Oguma even came out to this with some of his bodyguards. Ibuki was standing close to the stag though and like everyone, the worried pair was chatting under their breaths. 

 

Across the room, Leano was talking to the hybrid, Brighid, and her parents - Maple and Jonathan. Leano had already retrieved them for safekeeping before the worst could happen. Louis whispered to Haru, “You don’t think that they’re-” Haru interrupted, “Oh, I absolutely think.”

 

Melon’s family. 

 

Amid all the group chatter, Brighid said something to Leano while nodding, and then Leano looked to Gosha. More nodding was exchanged, then Leano turned to the rest of the group. Leano raised her voice over everyone else’s, “Let’s get something straight right now: my family is in no way in league with the Bloodbone Disaster, and yes, we will share the months of notes documenting our efforts to stop it from happening. Gouhin can verify it from his side as well.”

 

Haru raised her hand, “As can I!” She got back to transcribing the meeting for Legosi. “I’ve been keeping my own notes and cataloging the chat logs between Legosi, Louis, and I ever since they first saved a drugged jaguar on the streets. You want copies, give me email addresses.”

 

Stomping her heel, Ten was ready to blow it off, “Oh, the Inarigumi has no doubts and no need for that. Louis and Legosi already destroyed Madara’s credibility completely.” The one-eyed fox snapped her finger at the deer, “Good work by the way. That was excellent television.”

 

Gouhin grunted, then admitted, “Some of the volunteers lost their conviction for an hour there - docs and staff - and just as quickly got it back. Hearing from you two made a difference.”

 

Oguma added his own voice, “I am only one part of the Horns leadership and cannot confirm their universal support for hybrids or Gosha - yet I can confirm the Bloodbone Disaster has significantly stopped their stonewalling. Accelerated distribution of classic rope-based restraint weapons and taser units is already underway to the general police force.” 

 

Gosha asked the stag, “And the modified equipment?”

 

Oguma had a whole list of those in his head, but he knew what Gosha was most interested in: “Per the medical information provided by the clinic, we have 50 such taser units adjusted for the average-sized carnivore doped by Bloodbone. They should be safe and effective on the target group, but obviously we do not have living trials to confirm this…” 

 

“…As these weapons operate by causing ~temporary~ neuromuscular incapacitation, the chance of fatal injury is extremely negligible - but not impossible. And despite lengthening the period of electrical cycle, full-body paralysis and long-term incapacitation are both unlikely within safe parameters.”

 

More than a few gangsters in the room were trying to pretend they understood that. Others were obviously confused and going, “Huh?”

 

Ibuki cleared his throat and put his hand on Oguma’s shoulder. Ibuki explained for the rest, “That means a carnivore who’s gone berserk on Bloodbone, may not stay down after they’ve been shocked once. The shock is only temporary! Worst case scenario: you may only have a few seconds between them getting shocked before they get back up, and the victim might flail. Work fast to restrain them and get them to a hospital for proper treatment.”

 

There were many more nodding heads after that. A number quietly expressed their appreciation, too. “Oh.” “Yeah.” “Thanks.” “That’s way clearer.”

 

Most of the modified tasers would be headed to the clinic staff, but Gouhin wanted to make clear, “And if you use one of these, you must check their vitals. Make sure they can breathe, they haven’t clawed themselves or bitten their tongue. They could bleed to death from their own injuries like that.”

 

Pointing at Oguma, Gosha the komodo asked a leading question: “And for everyone more confident in their wrestling skills than their medical know-how?”

 

Oguma rattled off, “Several crates of a prototype kevlar body armor mesh, rated to withstand assault from most carnivore claws and fangs.”

 

There was an actual cheer in the ranks for that news. 

 

The teenage alpaca clearly had no idea what he’d walked into. Hands in his pockets, he awkwardly questioned it, “You’re giving bullet-proof armor… to the gangsters?”

 

“Inaccurate,” Oguma started to correct. 

 

But Louis was quicker and sharper, “While the police were shooting carnivore kids, these gangsters were being bitten and mauled trying to save them - and have been doing so for months. So yeah, we think they’ve bled enough.”

 

The alpaca gave it a nod and loudly amended himself, “Point perfectly well made! I apologize for my ignorance.”

 

Ibuki had yet to remove his hand from Oguma's shoulder. Maybe that was unconscious on the lion's part, an act of casual support or protection. Either way, Ibuki still wanted to impart the importance for the rest of the group, “This is extremely expensive, military-grade equipment and Oguma is breaking several laws by giving it to us. If anyone asks, we stole it.”

 

Oguma turned toward the lion without breaking contact, “If the police find out, I don’t quite care anymore. There’s already been more than enough death this week. I would rather save lives now and fight my own legal war later.”

 

A proud Louis whispered, “Go, dad.”

 

Oguma’s ear flicked at the unexpected praise, but he was trying to maintain business mode. He thought it important to point out, “Such body armor is not a guarantee of absolute protection from a violent carnivore or modern high-velocity rounds. Yet the potential injury from claws, fangs, small blades - depending on various thresholds of pressure, location and angle of impact - will be dramatically reduced.”

 

Gosha’s sigh slipped out a bit heavier then. Too soon to hope? “I’d love it if we never have to use any of this stuff, but the producers of Bloodbone keep escalating the situation. We have no idea what they might pull next. This gear will help us save lives without losing our own.”

 

Leano addressed the group next, “Yet from this disaster, we may have gained the most important piece of the narrative. Everyone needs to hear this.” Leano was still protectively close to the young hybrid girl and explained, “This is Doctor Melon’s family. Before Madaragumi’s video went live, his sister was already here, trying to seek our help.”

 

The hybrid leopard-buffalo, Brighid, had a look of fierce determination. She spoke up without even being introduced, “Yeah, cause I saw that Bloodbone stuff like everybody else! Some kids at my school got exposed to it and I smelled some of it, too. So before that video came out, I already knew it actually does smell like one of his formulas!”

 

The cynical fox, Ten, was quick to complain, “So your shitty brother went up and made one of the worst mind-altering toxins of the century?”

 

Brighid bared her carnivore fangs and stomped, “No, my brother made Jumpstart, one of the most radical drugs ever designed to improve our lives! But someone messed with it and probably messed with him, too! He’s been missing for months and nobody would help us find him! And then this all happened!!” Brighid angrily threw her arms up in the air.

 

Leano pressed a reassuring hand on the younger hybrid’s back, “Ignore Ten. Focus on Melon’s formula. That’s what they need to hear.”

 

Gouhin was more interested now. “‘Jumpstart’? What is it jumpstarting? A hunger for meat? If someone altered it, then-”

 

Brighid complained, “It’s complicated!” She scratched at the base of a horn, “Not hunger so much as… the taste centers of the brain? Melon would explain it better.”

 

Their father, Jonathan, tried to help, “The parts of the brain devoted to processing sensory information.”

 

Brighid brightened up, “Yeah, that!” Brighid gestured at her own skull, “Hybrids like us, sometimes those parts of our brain get jumbled. Or confused. Wires get crossed.”

 

Their mother, Maple, went back further, “When Melon was little, we found out that he couldn’t actually taste much with his tongue - but his sense of smell was incredibly over-developed instead.”

 

The shaggy Jonathan added, “Later on we learned that this taste loss, or taste confusion, happens most often with carni-herbi hybrids. The hunger for meat can … create a conflict in a hybrid brain. Part of the brain wants to eat meat, part of it doesn’t. Melon was always brilliant, even from a young age, and he decided to go into med school hoping to work on the problem himself.”

 

Maple held her husband’s hand and insisted, “He wanted to help other hybrids so future generations wouldn’t have to struggle the way he did. That’s all!”

 

Gouhin had an intrigued grin on his (admittedly frightening) face and wanted to get closer. “And Jumpstart was supposed to be his answer? …If you’re insistent that Bloodbone is a bastardized form of that drug - do you mean to say the real Jumpstart actually works??” 

 

Brighid crossed her arms and huffed, “Yeah! It does! It worked on him and it totally worked on me, too!”

 

Savon was mildly concerned, “Your older brother experimented on you??”

 

Brighid scoffed, “Of course not!!” She shrugged and spoke more quietly, “I kinda stole it from him when he wasn’t looking…”

 

Apparently her parents had yet to hear that part of the conversation. They both called her on it, “Brighid!!”

 

The hybrid girl raised her hands, “What! I was curious! I’m half cat! …It was right there in his lab and I knew it worked on him! I trusted him! My brother’s a genius!”

 

An excited Gouhin stood near to ask her, “How effective was it? What were your symptoms? Side effects? Experiences? Please tell me you took notes!!”

 

Brighid scratched at her stomach. “Uh, he wrote it down somewhere. Like, I took it, and I didn’t really feel much of anything at first. …Then my mouth got all watery, I got hungry, like a craving for a bunch of things at once. I started eating a bunch of random things from his kitchen and … tasting, I guess…”

 

“…It’s hard for me to explain it.” She rubbed at her belly, “Things didn’t have much taste for me and then … they suddenly did. Cereal, yogurt, eggs, veggies and fruit juice. Melon even had some meat around. Everything was turned up 3000%.” 

 

She shook it off, “But like, aside from the munchies, it didn’t mess with me much at all. I didn’t lose control. I didn’t go crazy… I actually felt pretty chill, even about eating meat. So that Bloodbone stuff, it may be based on Jumpstart, but whoever kidnapped him has fucked with it for sure.”

 

An eager Gouhin squeezed both fists forward, “Please tell me you have his formula or access to the original drug! Do you have any idea how revolutionary that is?!”

 

Melon’s whole family looked defeated at the question. Brighid answered, “No… It all disappeared with him.”

 

Gouhin wasn’t the only person in the room cursing and swearing about that.

 

Still taking notes, Haru’s snout wrinkled at the important parts so far. “A hybrid genius creates a revolutionary drug, sure to improve the quality of hybrid lives, but mysteriously disappears with all his research. Then the hyper-conservative Madaragumi come out of hiding to paint him as the worst terrorist of the decade? …You don’t need a good nose to say something about that smells fishy.”

 

“Exactly!!” Brighid angrily insisted, “It’s why we’ve been trying to find him for months. Him just leaving doesn’t make sense! His work was a success! He was in talks with some kind of ethics committee or something to begin trials for further research, and suddenly he was just - gone! All his notes and everything!”

 

Jonathan added in, “We tried talking to the police more than once, but they didn’t care. They said there was no evidence of foul play and no reason for them to get involved.”

 

Clearly Maple was upset by the conversation as well, “They believed he just left somewhere of his own accord, or got tired of us. But they don’t know our son. They don’t know Melon - and neither do those gumi jaguars! He worked so hard to be a doctor! He took an oath to do no harm!”

 

Ibuki felt sympathetic and chose to speak up, “For what it’s worth, madame, we already have proof that there are multiple variants of Bloodbone. I attended an upper-class party some time ago. Someone there sold me a few doses and the clinic has been studying them - but that version was functionally a sedative party drug. It may be your son’s original formula was closer to that than anything else on the streets.”

 

The grumbling grunting Gouhin admitted, “Yeah, if you took out a few aggressive elements, it would probably be medicinal! And like the girl said: it made them chill even while eating meat. And if that is what your son made, then your son would be a great doctor.” The panda hit himself in the head again, muttering, “Fuck, I want that formula so bad.”

 

Haru laughed over all the notes she’d taken, “Yeah, Mama Melon, at this point, anybody paying attention will see this is a set-up! Right, grandpa?”

 

Gosha huffed behind the mask. “Makes sense so far… Madaragumi are still the obvious suspects. Trying to make themselves look good and pure at the expense of a hybrid? That sounds just like them. …But they abandoned the back alleys some time ago. We haven’t seen them around for months either.”

 

Ibuki held up a claw, “I suppose the bigger question is if they’re the only ones involved. …A conspiracy of this level just doesn’t sound like something they could come up with on their own.”

 

Savon wondered out loud, “You think they’ve formed an alliance of their own? Or just got the idea from someone else?”

 

Ten gave a flourish to the side, “Madara never worked well with others - but rumor was they were going to do something big before Gosha came back. A job like this, it counts, right?”

 

Grumpy Gouhin the panda pointed out, “And I hate to say this, but this whole thing could be about way more than the gangs, Melon, or the victims so far. If Jumpstart works the way they said, it would dramatically improve the quality of life for carni-herbi hybrids everywhere! Maybe carnivores in general! There are more hybrids every single year…” 

 

“…but if you bastardize the drug and ruin its reputation, no one will want to go anywhere near it! The government could decide to render the whole thing toxic and illegal, and set back hybrid medicine years at least! Decades! I was trying to read up on this field for Legosi and no one else has even come close to a medicine like that! They’ve barely touched sensory confusion!”

 

Gosha’s eyes narrowed. “You think this is about spiting hybrids in general - or making sure hybrids suffer so people think twice about even having hybrid kids? …Madaragumi are still a gumi. They care most about meat and money. Would they hate me that much, to move against that many without profit?”

 

Adjacent to Gouhin, the teenage alpaca raised his hand, “Yeah, uh, just putting this out there, but what about Kopi Luwak?”

 

Oguma blinked at the young man, “The coffee?”

 

The alpaca thought it was funny, “Heh! Nah, but they take the name from it. They’re a pure-blood supremacist group, supposedly led by a civet with an army of bats. They’re violently opposed to the existence of hybrids, much less their healthcare.”

 

Ten rolled her one eye at it. She mocked the idea, “They’re no army. They’re posers! A pseudoscience boy’s club. One of those hoity-toity ‘refined palette’ types. Urgh.”

 

Savon remembered, “Yeah, kid, they used to talk shit, but they haven’t made any noise in a long time - not since the boss took over.” He thumbed over at Gosha.

 

The alpaca had a slight wince, “Uh, hate to break it to you guys, but they’re still talking - just, on the internet. A lot of specists love shooting from behind the safety of a computer screen - and Kopi Luwak absolutely does not want a future with more hybrids. So if their little bat ears got wind of the good doctor’s medicine, who knows what they’d do.” 

 

Immediately a new line of dialogue filled the room. Louis promptly got out his own smart phone just to start searching the name. The whole first page was just coffee, coffee, coffee - an annoying, bean-based smokescreen.

 

Ibuki acknowledged, “We were under the impression they scattered after Gosha returned, dissolved like so many other criminal organizations.” He glanced automatically at Oguma, then at Gosha, “But if they instead set up shop with Madaragumi elsewhere in the country… they’d both have reasons to hate Gosha’s hybrid family, and Madaragumi could put their ‘talk’ into action.”

 

The alpaca brought both his hands together in front of him, “A group that’s all talk, collaborating with a group that lets their claws do the talking. …Maybe they’re the brains that those gangsters were missing? …Just a thought.”

 

Gosha was unable to keep from growling at that point, but the mask contained his venom. “It’s a good lead, but everything we have so far is conjecture! That’s got to change before we move on them! That video primed the whole world to see hybrids as monsters, so we have to be smart about this! We attack without justification, we could be playing right into their hands! We need evidence, information…”

 

“…Jinma, Ozone, get the tech crew dragging the web. Kid!” Gosha pointed at the alpaca, “Can you get them started? Point them in the right direction. Every moment counts.”

 

The wooly herbivore saluted, “Can do, boss! I want to help, too!” 

 

“Good!” Gosha quickly turned to the others, “Ibuki, I need you and another crew playing detective in the market. If those gangs are still anywhere near here, we need to know it!”

 

The lion gave a sharp bow. “Yes, sir.”

 

The old komodo faced the one-eyed fox next, “Ten, I hate to ask, but we need the Inarigumi now more than ever. Can your gang scour the city at large? If Madaragumi and Kopi Luwak are behind this, they’ll expect us to come after them. Lions, komodo - they’ll see gangsters like us coming a long way off. If they go to ground-”

 

Playful Ten somehow looked amused, “Let me stop you right there, old man. We have an alliance, don’t we?” She started cracking her knuckles, “…Normally I’d make a joke that you want us to out-fox them, but desperate times and all - and we can slip through the city far easier than your clumsy cats.”

 

Gosha insisted with a grandfather’s worry, “This is a war now. Madaragumi still might shoot first, ask questions never. The Inarigumi will be in danger. …I’m asking you to be the tip of the spear.”

 

The one-eyed fox was only a little more serious. Ten spoke softer, “…The Inarigumi is well aware of that. …And we’re more than ready to fight on the front lines. We’ll dig through the whole city if we have to.”

 

The old komodo grunted. “Thank you, Ten. You’re all amazing.”

 

The fox chuckled and waved it off, “Please, please, praise us more.”

 

Leano put a hand on the fox’s shoulder and repeated, “Thank you, Ten. The sooner we put a stop to Bloodbone, the better.”

 

Ten coyly nudged the hybrid’s hand off, “I know, ~Leanne.~ I know.”

 

Gosha spoke again to the group, “If at all possible, we need to bring Doctor Melon home. If there’s even a chance of recovering him or his research, it is of the highest priority. There is no telling how many people it could help. …Madaragumi is fighting for the past, ladies and gentlemen; but his work may define the future.”

 

Gangsters bowed like that was all they needed to hear. Some of them took off immediately, while several others stood by Gosha waiting for specific instructions. Jinma and Ozone went to the alpaca and promptly shared information through devices. Even Ten and the Inarigumi were quick to head out and chase their new leads.

 

Leano still wanted to talk more with Melon’s family and set them up somewhere safe.

 

Louis checked in with Haru herself. She was already in the process of sending the highlights to Legosi, so he could read it when he woke up. 

 

(A naughty Louis, however, had been subtly recording all that himself. He could share the audio as well, for when Legosi had time to listen to the full thing.)

 

The two herbivores were both a little suspicious when the alpaca left the clinic group to approach them instead. When he was near, it was easier to tell that the alpaca was taller than Louis, but still around the same age as them. 

 

The wooly herbivore gave them a smile and a wave, “Hey, I just wanted to apologize for putting my foot in my mouth earlier. I hope there’s no hard feelings.”

 

Louis was about to reply, but Haru spoke faster, “Oh, don’t worry, Louis is an expert at the exact same thing! But you redeemed yourself there at the end. That Kopi Luwak group sounds like bad news.”

 

The deer snorted and crossed his arms. “Not what I was going to say, Haru!”

 

The rabbit teased him, “Yeah, but it’s what you should say.”

 

The alpaca chuckled quietly, “Haru, was it? Nice to meet you two. Wow, this takes me back. My best bud is a rabbit, too!” He bent lower and offered his hand, “I’m San.”

 

Haru shook it readily, “San? Like San Antonio or something?” 

 

The wooly herbivore was still full of cheer, “Nah, I’m just always in third place. And I wasn’t expecting to see the famous Louis here, but I guess I should have.”

 

Louis was about to grasp the other’s hand when the deer hesitated. Louis was slower to shake it then, “…Do I know you? You seem familiar.”

 

San shook the deer’s hand and laughed, “Oh, I doubt we walk in the same circles. …I bet half the country has seen your speech with Legosi by now. But my buddy and I owe Gouhin and as crazy as things have been for him, we figured it was a good time to pay him back.”

 

Haru agreed, “Yeah, after everything else this week, we could use all the help we can get!”

 

Louis grumbled only a little, “Well, if you’re right about Kopi Luwak, we might finally be able to take the offensive.”

 

Haru was back to reviewing her notes, “And naturally I’m all for shutting down Bloodbone and reconnecting hybrid families, but important question!” Haru tapped her notes, “Who names their kid after the number 3? That’s just weird.”

 

“Seriously?” Louis stared down at her. “That’s where your mind goes?”

 

The rabbit shook her notes, “I’m in analysis mode, alright? Melon, Brighid, Kopi Luwak, San… You’d think parents would put more effort into naming their kids than a random number, I’m just saying.”

 

The wooly herbivore was unaffected. San smirked, “Yeah, some parents just don’t care about their kids, period. Mine gave me up! But by the time I got adopted, the name already stuck. So I’m San! And I’m okay with that.”

 

The deer’s left ear flicked. “Huh.” Louis crossed his arms again, “Well, you’re in good company. A lot of us here have shitty parents.”

 

Slowly San glanced over to where Oguma was talking with Ibuki. Hand low, the alpaca subtly pointed at him, “…Because your super rich dad, who’s done giving fucks about the law, is a bad dad?”

 

The phrase stung and Louis stood up straight. “What? No. He’s great! …Super awkward and terrible at gift giving, but a good dad.” It took another second for Louis to realize, “Oh! You thought - No, not him! It’s been a long day, sorry. I just meant-”

 

Haru patted the deer’s side, “Louis was adopted. His parents gave him up, too.”

 

The deer started going redder and whispered, “Haru! That’s a secret!”

 

The wary rabbit squinted at him, “What? This was getting painful. …You’re acting weird, Bambi. That was an easy answer.”

 

Louis hissed, “That’s not the point!”

 

By that time, San was laughing under his breath. “Right, right, I get it now. The abandonment crew. Plus - gangsters? Probably not exemplars of good home life.” He nodded his head towards Jinma and Ozone, “But I really do want to help out with this. Just didn’t know if I’d run into you again though, so I’m saying sorry while I can. Sorry. And thanks.”

 

Haru moved her hands like she was smoothing out the air, “And it’s all good, my whitey brethren. Now hit the internet and go kick some Kopi ass.”

 

San smiled bigger and gave her a playful bow, “Of course, my master.~ Good plan all around.” The alpaca waved over his shoulder and started walking away. “See you around sometime.”

 

Louis was still staring at the figure’s back, and he was intense enough about it that Haru nudged him again. The rabbit asked, “Louis, you’re still acting weird. What’s going on?”

 

“Nothing.” The deer tried to shake off an unnerving sense of deja vu. “Nothing at all. …Maybe he just reminds me of Tem or something.”

 

Another wooly alpaca, though Tem didn’t live long enough to get as tall as San.

 

Now there was guilt all around.

 

“Right…” The rabbit softened her tone and rubbed at his lower back. “Tem… Sorry. Same species.”

 

“It’s fine.” Louis gave an awkward shrug and brushed off his hands. “We got work to do. For the living, and the dead.”

 

Thirty seconds later, Louis and Haru were still waiting to coordinate with Gosha. Then Louis suddenly remembered, “Wait, did he say his friend was a rabbit!?”

 

Antlers nearly shot off his head in surprise.

Notes:

How were these guys not the real, final-act villains?

P.S. I did use my sick time to post parts of a post-canon Ibuki fairy tale, if anyone hasn't seen and might care about that sort of thing. Sad lion really needed a new family that loved him, and I wrote that fic like a year ago. Seemed as good a time as any to post it while I was recovering.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/59255464/chapters/151112779

Anyway, thanks for reading. Comments keep me writing.

Chapter 61: Mercy

Summary:

Adjusting to my new meds has been extremely taxing. I wanted to finish the Rokume arc this chapter, but I just don't have the energy, sorry. Long chapter is still long anyway.

Louis was gleefully vibrating on his feet - and it had nothing to do with energy drinks. He was so hopped up on excitement, he couldn’t hold still. “This is crazy. This is insane!” He grabbed at his antlers, then gestured at Kyuu and San, “I still can’t believe you’re alive!”

 

Even as Kyuu replied, she was leaning against the wall and keeping her knives sharp, “A fact that often surprises people.”

 

The alpaca, San, had his own nerd-out moment at first. But that was several minutes ago, and San really did want to help the others. So now San was busy at a computer alongside Jinma, Ozone, and a few other gangsters of the tech crew. They were still clicking their way through the internet while Louis, Haru, and Kyuu talked in the same room.

 

Kyuu, however, remained almost as wary as before. She added with an uncommitted tone, “Though you being here is also a surprise, considering our past. …I’m glad we all lived to see this day.”

 

Even before they could talk, the three captive herbivores knew they’d be eaten when they left that cell. Louis remembered it clearly, but he wasn’t the same fawn anymore. Louis struggled to speak, “It’s … been an eventful year.”

 

Haru rolled her eyes, “Well, that’s an understatement.” She tugged at Louis’ arm while explaining, “Yeah, so Louis had major carnivore issues until we met Legosi. I had a few. Our precious wolf boy got all of us talking. Then we all learned shit was going down, and got involved in fixing it.”

 

Grumpy Louis was ready to fuss Haru away, but she let go first. The deer huffed downwards, “Yeah, that’s too long a story for tonight.” Louis shook his head, “More importantly: how did you two get out of there? Last I saw, you two were still locked in our cell.”

 

Kyuu gazed along the length of her blade. “That’s a short story: Gouhin broke us out.”

 

San glanced back from his computer desk, “Yeah, I mentioned we owed Gouhin a favor! Somebody told him about us being locked up and he came to our rescue. And after rapidly realizing he couldn’t raise a bunch of traumatized kids, he got us to the proper authorities and new parents. And then we got therapy. A whooole lot of therapy.”

 

Louis huffed a laugh and put his hands on his hips, “Yeah, been there! Took me years to be halfway normal.”

 

Haru chuckled while shaking her head. “Oh Louis.” She patted the deer’s side, “My poor Louis. You are still so far from normal.”

 

The deer feigned shock, “Really, Haru?? Roasting me in front of my long-lost friends?”

 

Haru smirked like a monster and patted him again. “I say it with love: neither of us is normal. Heh! And the world is probably better for that.”

 

San laughed aloud, “Yeah, normal wouldn’t do half of what you do, Louis, and I’ve only seen you a few days - on tv!”

 

Louis snorted and complained, “Now you’re both on thin ice.” Kyuu, however, was still sharpening her knives and seemed more focused on those than the conversation. Louis gestured at her work, “But Kyuu, you really don’t have to do that here. I pull the tough guy act all the time, and I promise: there’s no need to bluff around us, too.”

 

The lop-eared rabbit gave a monotone reply, “Who’s bluffing? I prefer to stay sharp.”

 

San playfully sighed and felt the need to explain, “Yeah, Kyuu’s tough for real! You don’t have to worry about her. She was just giving combat lessons to Gouhin’s newbies!”

 

Both Louis and Haru frowned as they asked a question simultaneously. Haru wondered, “What was that about?” Louis was concerned, “What did you teach about?”

 

The lop-eared rabbit slid the knife back into the sheath she was holding, “Using rope and leverage to capture violent carnivores.”

 

Louis spoke in worried disbelief, “As a rabbit?” Haru loudly exclaimed, “How??”

 

Playful San fell to explaining again for his short-tongued companion, “Yeah, so Kyuu’s therapist wasn’t as good as mine! And Kyuu eventually decided the best way to deal with her trauma was by-” San loudly proclaimed it like a sports announcer, “~facing carnivores in deadly combat!~” The alpaca laughed and sighed, “Gouhin taught her some things so she wouldn’t immediately be meat. Then, against his directions, she dived headfirst into every back alley fight club with her hatred, envy, and enough weapons to win! Heh! All I’m good for is analyzing our enemies!”

 

Kyuu looked entirely unamused. “San? You still talk too much.”

 

Haru was only mildly annoyed because, “Gouhin never taught me anything!” And then she just as quickly recanted, “About combat, I mean. I’ve been learning tons about science, medicine, and therapy… which kind of explains why he hasn’t had time for combat, too. We’ve all been busy.” 

 

Kyuu regarded her fellow rabbit with casual skepticism. “I doubt he’d teach you anyway. No offense.”

 

But offense was taken regardless. This was Haru, after all. Haru put her hands on her hips, “Why not? He’s already teaching me the other stuff. I’m the same size as you.”

 

Kyuu kept up the same robotic stare. “Gouhin would never take on a weak rabbit like you. In the old days, he wouldn’t have even let you stick around. But I already knew he went soft.”

 

“Ha!” Haru thumbed at her chest, “I had to break him for that! I impressed the shit out of him cause when I want to do something, I get it done! I was training with Legosi long before I even met Gouhin, so physically and mentally I’m probably way stronger than you were when you started!”

 

Something about that finally put a chip in Kyuu’s armor. Flustered, she deflected, “Now I know you’re talking shit. None of that is believable.”

 

Proud and fearless, Haru strode right up to her fellow rabbit, “Then put up already. You think you know better than Gouhin? Prove it. Teach me some stuff right now.”

 

Kyuu certainly held something up: her sheathed knife. “I don’t have anything to prove to a soft rabbit like you!”

 

Haru didn’t flinch. She just stood coy and in control, “You’re stuck here waiting for San, right? You’re going crazy doing nothing. Do you want to brood in the corner with everyone knowing I called your bluff, or do you want me to wrangle us a willing carnivore so you can burn off some steam?”

 

Kyuu scoffed even louder, “Ha! Cause you managed to break the carnivores here, too, huh?” 

 

Haru brushed off her shirt, “Honey, I can do things to carnivores that you don’t have names for. I’ll teach you my tricks if you teach me yours.”

 

Kyuu yelled in her face, “Fine!” Haru yelled back, “Fine!”

 

Both rabbits left the room side-by-side, aggressively bumping shoulders the whole way. 

 

San, Louis, hell, even the tech crew gangsters were staring as the rabbits disappeared to another part of the building. 

 

Louis admitted to the rest, “I have no idea what just happened.”

 

San cackled three seconds later, “I am in awe! Haha! Ohhh, this is going to go terrible.”

 

Jinma said, “I’m frightened.” Ozone agreed, “I was terrified they’d ask me!” Jinma worried, “Who do you think she’s grabbing?”

 

Louis rubbed his face with both hands. “Rex, I hope it’s not Free…”

……

For better or worse, last night was all anyone could talk about the next day. Cherryton was not exempt from that.

 

Legosi woke up to five different canine noses uncomfortably close to his pillow. The 701 dogs were all expectantly waiting at Legosi’s bedside, tails whipping excitedly behind them. Each of them was fully dressed, wanting nothing to distract from hearing about Legosi’s secret double life.

 

‘Oh right… answers…’ Legosi thought to himself. He had to sigh as he rubbed at his eyes. ‘I just had to promise them… answers…’ 

 

Maybe he didn’t have to tell them everything per se. The sleepy wolf didn’t mention the part about Yafya’s fascism or murder garden - too dangerous - or about dating Louis and Haru simultaneously. That was still personal. But he did mention many other things about Yafya’s initial request to Louis, Legosi’s evening patrols, and bringing in sick carnivores for the clinic. A lot of blanks were finally filled in.

 

Voss whispered the words of his old mantra, “Pro hitman moves.”

 

Insistent Miguno held up his palm, “But not murder!”

 

Either way, it became Jack’s turn for a panic attack. Jack somehow managed to keep interpreting for the group, thanks to some very intense breath exercises.

 

So by the time the dogs would normally leave for breakfast, Legosi had signed enough to sate them. They could talk more later anyways, and Legosi was hungry as always.

 

At some point in the night, Hino had traded shifts with the young lion, Walker. The other elites were all too busy, but Legosi was familiar with Walker after the arm-cut incident. He’d be shadowing Legosi for some of the day. He was dressed in a fake security guard’s uniform, like the other gumi members the night before. 

 

A visitor’s pass gave him a mild sense of legitimacy, but everyone would be thinking ‘gumi’ regardless. 

 

The lion also brought something with him: an insistent gift from Gosha and Leano. They both wanted Legosi to wear some of that kevlar under-armor beneath his clothes. 

 

As he held up the prototype fabric, Legosi only hesitated for a few seconds.

 

If Madaragumi really do want war… may as well be prepared.  

 

Durham gave a whistle at the sight of it. Jack almost panicked worse. Tiny Voss just held up a hand, “Yeah, does that come in size XXXXS?”

 

Walker playfully showed his empty pockets, “Sorry, buddy: I only got the one set for him.” 

 

“Damn,” Voss grumbled downwards.

 

Legosi didn’t usually wear the school’s uniform jacket, but he did today. He figured it would better hide what he was wearing beneath. He was used to fighting in gumi blacks already, so it wasn’t a big deal. He kept the armored gloves in his pockets, just in case he needed to put them on fast.

 

He was most assuredly not going to go to class wearing an armored helmet though. No way. That would be going in his backpack or not at all.

 

No scarf either. Just like the other day, Legosi left it behind on purpose. Legosi still wanted everyone to look him in the throat - make everyone rethink their life choices before pissing him off. Remember what happened to Marko.

 

So at least for today, as they all headed for breakfast… Legosi managed to look more formal and confident than ever before…

……

Cherryton’s teachers largely ignored the wolf. Most were marginally afraid of him! Suddenly Legosi wasn’t just a disabled student but the grandson of a komodo mob boss and agent of the Sublime. Nobody wanted to risk pissing him off. The bird teacher was in awe though, which was a nice exception. 

 

The fake security guard stayed outside classrooms, but he was never far. 

 

Among the students, however, Legosi was actually getting used to his fame / infamy. None of them wanted to follow Marko’s disastrous performance in the cafeteria. Even the most specist students on campus chose to silently avoid him.

 

Still, when Louis was around, the deer tried to stay close enough to make sure people behaved. 

 

Legosi subtly checked in with him and Haru over the morning, and was grateful for Haru’s excellent note-taking. He could read those on the sly during the lazier parts of his classes.

 

Haru did not, however, tell him about training with Kyuu. Louis did that. 

 

Legosi managed to sound worried over text, {Haru??? What is this about training with a knife-wielding murder rabbit to engage carnivores in physical combat???}

 

Haru sent a smiling emoji back, {I call it prep-work. :) }

 

{HARU!?} {Oh relax, we didn’t even use the knives…}

 

Legosi breathed a sigh of relief. Then Haru added, {But perhaps I should be worried of the speed at which multiple lions agreed to be wrangled and thrown to the ground by two female rabbits. …Guys, how many of the Shishigumi have problems?}

 

Legosi slapped a hand to his face. Louis interrupted the group chat, {Haru, please tell me you didn’t try to seduce a bunch of gangsters five times your size?}

 

The two boys both felt Haru smirking through the internet, {I mean… I didn’t try to seduce them… I just found a number of young men who wanted to be… helpful…}

 

Haru was a most dangerous rabbit.

 

Legosi sighed through his nose. {On one hand, I’ll actually feel better knowing you have more training in close combat. I always told you guys I couldn’t teach you to fight exactly like I do, cause I’m a wolf. So if there’s a rabbit that can teach you super secret rabbit martial arts? …That’s a good opportunity.}

 

Haru preened on the other end of the chat. {Thank you, Legosi. That was my thought process exactly. And once we actually got to training, Kyuu was honestly impressed! Since Gosha and Gouhin don’t want us kids in the back alleys right now, Kyuu’s supposed to drop by some time for a bit more practice here in person.}

 

Louis typed more, {Yeah, I’m still worried about these gangsters. These guys you were roping up and getting on the ground? Who exactly were they? I want names.}

 

{A lady never tells}, Haru joked. Then she sent another emoji of her playfully sticking out her tongue.

……

The deer couldn’t spend every moment of the school with Legosi however. During the lunch period, Louis went to the school bathroom by himself. Louis relieved himself quickly enough, but it was still a surprise when Pina entered the room after him.

 

Louis’ snout wrinkled like he expected another fight was going to happen right there. 

 

Yet the normally-pristine Pina didn’t seem so self-assured today. His voice was honestly fairly sedate, “Louis… Hey. Fancy meeting you here.”

 

The deer finished washing his hands in a hurry, “If you have any sense of self-preservation, by rex, you had best consider carefully what you are about to say.”

 

The horned sheep brushed back a lock of wool from his face. Pina quietly admitted, “Yeah, uh… I deserve that… Um, you’re friends with Riz, right?”

 

Not remotely what Louis expected in point of fact. As the deer tried to dry his hands, Louis said, “…Huh?”

 

“Riz the bear…” Pina avoided the deer’s gaze, looking elsewhere around the boy’s bathroom instead. “He’s still part of the drama club, isn’t he?”

 

The deer complained, “And you aren’t, so… what does it matter to you?” 

 

The dall sheep tried to seem nonchalant, “Well, uh, it’s not like it really matters, you know? He’s a carnivore, so - it’s not like I really have to worry for him, do I?”

 

Pina might have been as pretty as Louis (to some people), but Pina was not, in fact, as great an actor. Suspicious Louis flicked his hands dry a final time, then stared at him more intently, “…Why did you say that like you actually DO care? You made it abundantly clear how you feel about carnivores before.” Louis shifted to a mocking voice as he quoted Pina word for word, “‘Carnivores can’t be beautiful, it’s scientifically proven.’”

 

Flustered, the dall sheep crossed his arms and kept his own focus elsewhere in the room. “I don’t care,” Pina lied so poorly. Then his voice dipped even softer, “Cause, cause I don’t. He’s a guy… and a carnivore… so of course I don’t have to care about him. He’ll be fine. I just… haven’t seen him around for a few days…” 

 

Pina awkwardly shifted on his feet, and hands fussed in and out of his pockets. “I saw him wrestling that huge croc with Legosi on tv - during the Bloodbone Disaster, I mean - so I figured… you just might know something… cause you’re together all the time. With Legosi, I mean. That’s all. It’s just… a random question.”

 

The squirmy, almost blushy way Pina behaved told Louis so very much. 

 

“Oh my rex,” Louis pointed at him and rapidly approached. “Do you have feelings for him??”

 

Scoffing, Pina stood straight up, white fur threatening to fluff out. “No!” Hands were raised to defend, “That’s crazy! He’s a guy! And, and a carnivore, like you said. He totally can’t be attractive. It just doesn’t work that way.” 

 

Louis only last five seconds. Then he snorted and had to cover his nose. “Wow and the recruiter really thought you’d be a good actor?”

 

A pretty one if nothing else, but even Pina didn’t believe the lie. Pina grasped the white wool by his neck and nearly yanked it out, “Fucking rex, please tell me it isn’t that obvious. I’m going crazy!”

 

Louis nearly burst out laughing.

 

The dall sheep whined and pushed at him, “This isn’t funny, Louis! I have a ton of girlfriends! I can’t be gay!”

 

Louis teased him once, “Well, not successfully, clearly.”

 

Pina grabbed him by the jacket, “It’s not about success!! And, and I’m not having that conversation with you! I’m only here because of Riz!”

 

The deer poked him in the chest, “Because you care about him.”

 

“Yes! I mean no! I don’t care! And you can’t prove that!” Pina let go of the deer to step back, “But I’ve been trying to find him for days cause I needed to tell him something and haven’t seen him anywhere, so can you please just tell me if he’s okay? …Did he get messed up by that Bloodbone stuff or not?”

 

It was an unexpected moment of lightness in an otherwise tense week, so Louis was still mildly amused by it. Yet Louis did want to honor the seriousness of the question. “I could tell you, but that’s fairly personal medical information - and while I laughed, that’s not about your orientation and just about delicious, dramatic irony…” 

 

Louis gave a content sigh, then placed his right hand over his heart, “I’m a theater nerd, alright? I am the last person who would judge you for your orientation and on my honor as a beastar, your secret is safe with me.” Louis pointed at him in turn, “But your motives are still suspect and I don’t want you gossiping about Riz’s medical condition. So again: tell me why you care. Answer me that first or I will still leave without telling you anything.”

 

Pathetically Pina huffed and started pacing in a circle, and it still took him several seconds to get the words out. “I don’t know, okay? Liking girls is obvious! He doesn’t even have horns. I love horns! But he was really sick one day and I didn’t like seeing him that way. Really… really sick. So I helped him a bit till he felt better. Then he made me a meal. We… talked. And he was weirdly sweet and mature, and sensitive, and I, I…” Pina’s voice lowered to an almost silent hush, “maybe tried flirting with him… a little bit…” His voice rose again, “which you’ll be pleased to know was a disaster, but I actually feel bad about it for once!” 

 

Pina loosened the collar of his shirt, then got even more animated, “I’m not used to that, Louis! That stupidly sweet bear chef made me… feel guilty! And I hate it! These are supposed to be the best years of our lives! My looks are my only redeeming feature; I don’t want to waste them feeling guilty! I’m all … frowney faced! But I can’t actually apologize to him if he’s not even around, so I just need to know if he’s okay, alright?” Pina threatened him with a flourish of the horns and a stomp of the foot, “Are you happy? I can’t enjoy myself anymore until I apologize!”

 

Smugly satisfied, Louis gave a nod of the antlers, “I’m a little happy, yes.”

 

Pina huffed and glared at him down the tip of his nose. “Screw you.”

 

Louis laughed, “You’re not my type. Good luck screwing your bear though. Now that sounds fun.”

 

The grumpy dall sheep turned to leave, but the chuckling deer admitted, “He’s seeing a doctor for his migraines, Pina.~”

 

Pina stopped at the exit door and glared back at the deer. 

 

Louis got more serious as he explained, “Riz is terribly ill right now… That’s true. So I can’t tell you that he’s ‘fine.’ His symptoms got bad enough that Legosi and I actually intervened to help. We got him in touch with a specialist…”

 

Louis thought it was particularly important to note, “…He wasn’t exposed to Bloodbone - but from what I hear, he actually spent that first evening helping with all the students who got drugged. …He’s still at that clinic getting treatment now.”

 

The dall sheep kept glaring at him, but Pina stayed inside the room. Voice soft, the sheep demanded, “…Are you messing with me now or not?”

 

“No, Pina, I’m not.” Louis put his hands in his pockets and spoke even more sincerely, “I wouldn’t joke about Bloodbone. There’s been a lot going on lately, and certain things just… coincided. Riz has been suffering on his own for a long time and… we all missed that.” 

 

Yafya and the back alleys had dominated Louis’ attention for months, but it sounded like Riz had been struggling even longer than that. Louis gave an uncomfortable shrug of his own, “But we did what we could to help, and now he’s getting professional help. I’m sure they’ll get him better somehow… I’ll pass along the message that you were worried about him.”

 

The dall sheep had begun to relax and slacken as Louis explained it all. Pina’s concern was still clear, though not nearly so sharp or abrasive. Then Pina shook his heavy head and mumbled in reply, “There’s no need. He made it pretty clear how he feels about me.”

 

Louis took out his phone to quickly check the time and made a note of all this himself. “Well, I can’t promise he’ll respond to you. I have no idea if he’s even gay… But I’ll tell him you wanted to apologize, and he can decide for himself whether he wants to talk to you.”

 

“Urgh…” Pina tried to force a smile through woolly bangs, but it was hardly convincing, “I should just stick with girls. The worst they do is slap my face.” Pina indicated his cheek, which at least looked slap-free today.

 

Louis clicked his tongue as he took a step toward the exit. “Wow, you really have been lucky so far… Haven’t you heard? Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned - and teenage girls are even more dangerous. They’ll chew you up, herbivore or not.”

 

Pina groaned and fussed his wool back from his face, “Aargh… when did life get so complicated? I miss being able to just enjoy myself…”

 

Louis clapped him on the shoulder, “Welcome to the real world, Pina. You’ve taken your first steps into a responsible adult existence.” 

……

To the trio’s disbelief, the school day went almost completely normal. No major issues, no major confrontations. Madaragumi? Nowhere in sight. The conversation with Pina was the biggest surprise in hours. The three of them separated to go to their clubs after classes were through, at which point Legosi and Haru both got a surprise of their own.

 

Somewhere between two and three dozen animals were waiting for them at the top of the staircase. Legosi smelled the group almost immediately, and held a hand out for Haru to wait. 

 

A gumi guard had replaced Walker around midday. They were close behind the pair, and that was the only reason Legosi didn’t grab Haru and immediately leave. 

 

Instead Legosi wanted to pause and sniff at the air first. 

 

He could tell they were all wearing the school uniform and that they were teenagers, and they weren’t trying to be quiet. He and Haru could hear them chatting excitedly up above, talking about Legosi and the garden club.

 

One leopard among them, but Legosi was fairly certain he smelled them with that one support group, ‘Spots for Legosi.’

 

No guns, thankfully - and yes, Legosi knew exactly how guns smelled these days. 

 

Only took Legosi another few seconds to remember something important. [Haru?]

 

She signed to be silent, [Yeah?]

 

Legosi sighed because he already knew the answer. [When I was on tv… I mentioned I was in the garden club. Didn’t I?]

 

Haru was unhelpfully amused at that point. [Yes. Yes, you did.]

 

Legosi rubbed a hand to his eyes. [Okay. Let’s deal with this.]

 

Legosi and Haru walked up the stairs, with their fake-dressed security guard close behind.

 

The student group was all too excited to see Legosi and Haru, immediately wanting to strike up a dozen conversations - even with Legosi clearly weary and defensive. Haru asked them more pointedly, “Uh, can we help you? These are club hours and this is the garden club. If you do not have business with the garden club, you gotta leave.”

 

The chatty crowd jostled each other a bit, but a colorful bird spoke up, “Yeah, that’s why we’re here! For the garden club! Legosi’s part of the garden club, right?”

 

Legosi needed Haru to interpret for him this time, [Guys, this is my club time. I use it to relax. I am still a student, this is still part of school time. …Please let me be a student.]

 

A few people were embarrassed, but others were chuckling. An antelope clarified, “Okay, so clearly we’re here because of Legosi, but not like, to harass him… We all want to join, too.”

 

Somehow that did not relieve Legosi’s concern.

 

A large croc was on the same page, “Yeah, I never figured myself for the garden type, but if Legosi likes it, there has to be something to it.”

 

The gumi guard put his hand on Legosi’s shoulder and spoke just loud enough to be intimidating, “Want me to chase them off?”

 

For two seconds, Legosi almost considered signing yes. [No… as long as they behave themselves.] Haru sternly relayed that to the group, but half the group still cheered.

 

So the first few minutes of club time were spent recording people’s names and making name tags.

 

And that was when they got another surprise, because Louis showed up as well. The deer stared in confusion at all the new hands on deck, then Louis remembered, “It’s cause you said-” 

 

Legosi signed, [I said the stupid thing, yes. What are you doing here?]

 

“Heh.” Louis thumbed at the stairs, “Yeahhhh, uh, Gon really wants to talk to us about something important, Legosi.”

 

The new gardening crew all cheered for the Beastar and Beastar-to-be.

 

Haru laughed and clapped, and reassured them, “You go on, Legosi. I got this here.”

 

“Actually,” Louis faced the rabbit, “Gon wants to talk with you, too, Haru. All of us.”

 

The rabbit's left ear tilted halfway. “…Me?”

……

Any other day, being called to the principal’s office could be taken as a bad thing.

 

But considering last night, and how the school came out in force for everyone’s favorite wolf boy… everyone was thinking ‘Beastar.’

 

Haru had been mildly responsible for last night’s civil unrest, so calling her in was also on the trio’s mind. Whether that was good or bad, they doubted Gon would make too much of a fuss about her if he was meeting all three of them simultaneously.

 

The trio did not, however, expect to see Gon so frantic or exhausted. They were barely in the room before Gon locked the door behind them. 

 

All the shades were already drawn. 

 

Without even letting go of the handle, the tiger said, “I need your help.”

 

Haru promptly plopped herself in a padded chair, “Not the intro I expected, but sure! We’re problem solvers.”

 

Legosi chose to stay standing to the side, and Louis playfully nudged the wolf’s arm. The deer joked, “Well, you do have two Beastars here, Gon. How about it, Haru, Gon?~ Want to make it three?”

 

Haru laughed at the concept. “Ohh, the world could not handle me as a Beastar. Also I’m pretty sure my dad would die. Ask me when I’m older.”

 

The wolf’s ear flicked, and Legosi glanced around the room while rubbing it.

 

Meanwhile the old tiger seemed to get dizzy at the prospect. Gon headed awkwardly behind his own desk, then fell into his chair. “I honestly do not know if Legosi is a Beastar yet - but that is a separate matter and not why I called you here.” 

 

And that was how a rabbit looked ready to kill a tiger. 

 

With her little hands squeezing the chair’s arms, Haru authentically growled, “Not funny.”

 

Legosi signed sarcastically, [Of course I’m not… Shocker.] 

 

As a card carrying member of team murder, Louis already had enough bullshit to last a lifetime. “How is he not a Beastar by now?? You had most of the school outside your office last night!”

 

The tiger aggressively fussed with his whiskers, “Because poetic license aside, the Sublime Beastar basically named Legosi one last night - but I don’t exactly have access to that level of paperwork! Meanwhile I spent most of the day with the Council of All Living Species and they are shitting themselves silly!”

 

Haru complained with arms crossed, “Well, that’s an image.”

 

Gon grabbed his coffee cup for another quick drink, which lasted longer than he first intended. Then he set it back down in a hurry, “I am smart enough to know that what you two said on tv saved lives - you cut off a fire before it could spread - but you also told the entire world that Legosi is the hybrid grandson of a komodo mob boss, and he’s been catching carnivores by hand! …The criminal implications are staggering!”

 

Louis was ready to argue, “Legosi isn’t a criminal! He’s committed the least crimes of anyone in the room!”

 

The tiger’s eyes went wide and he quickly stared at the rabbit, “What did you do??” Gon slapped himself in the face, “Don’t answer that! I don’t want to know - and it’s besides the point! …The very fact that Cherryton needed a guardian like him makes the school look worse!”

 

Haru held an accusing finger toward the tiger, “Maybe it did need him! Cherryton has always had problems and Legosi actually fought them!”

 

Gon loudly agreed, “I know that! You cannot say anything that could make me feel worse! I had to listen to the Council all day long!” Gon suddenly dropped his volume to a whisper, “But that is still not why I called you in! …You three are lateral thinkers with abnormal connections and if nothing changes fast, Cherryton may very well be forced to segregate within the month!”

 

“Shit,” Louis whispered.

 

Haru snapped at the tiger, “Where did that come from?? The Bloodbone Disaster happened to everyone - and it was Legosi who prevented the worst from happening here!”

 

Gon pleaded softly, “Please keep your voice down! Please! We cannot afford another panic on campus!” 

 

Tiredly Legosi signed, [It’s official: this is the second worst week of my life.] He rubbed both ears flat, then leaned back against a cabinet.

 

The tiger sped through an explanation, “The parents of Cherryton and even the other schools were already putting pressure on us after Tem’s murder. Then a jaguar mauled Louis and you three were attacked by lions before the festival - which involved Louis killing in self-defense! Then Legosi was outright kidnapped, Bloodbone happened to everyone, Marko went wild in the cafeteria, the Madaragumi said all that about hybrids, the Sublime resigned, and Legosi told the great wide world who his grandfather is! And that students have been begging him for self-defense lessons!! The parents barely trusted me for being a tiger!!” Gon was practically gasping by the end of it. “…They have no confidence that Cherryton can provide a safe environment for their children anymore.”

 

Louis sunk lower in his chair.

 

Though peeved, Haru grumbled the admission, “Okay, when you put it like that… yes, that sounds bad.”

 

The deer weakly agreed, “I knew some of the other schools were segregating, but I didn’t know Cherryton was at that point already…”

 

Legosi was just staring at the floor in heavy thought.

 

Gon tried to drink more of his coffee, but caffeine was no help right now. “I hate having to say this out loud, but… I don’t know how to fix this. I am out of cards to play. …So I am swallowing my pride here to ask you three for help. I love this school; I don’t want to see decades of progress undone because of prejudice and fearmongering.”

 

Gon was wrestling with so much inside, the battle was clear across his face. The old tiger whispered, “I can’t stop this by myself.”

 

Legosi signed small, [If they have no confidence, then that’s what we need to address: confidence.]

 

Louis interpreted automatically and Gon answered just as fast, “If you know how to reassure thousands of conservative herbivore parents, be my guest!”

 

The wolf huffed and looked at the feline. [I can tell you right now: what reassures a kid and what reassures a parent are two different things. …So if you’re seriously asking us for advice, yeah, I have suggestions, but this is not a ‘one and done’ operation. We will have to take multiple steps.]

 

Gon rubbed his head and nodded. “I am seriously asking. …Cherryton needs its Beastars now more than ever.”

 

Haru and Louis were both paying closer attention to their boyfriend.

 

Legosi seemed marginally uncertain, but he kept signing, [Parents want to see action and resolution. They want to see things change fast - or at least the impression that things are changing. They think segregation means their kids will be protected by a wall…] 

 

[…but if I’m being honest… just rearranging our classes or even our buildings is a cheap cop-out. It’s a way for schools to pretend they’re doing something for safety when they’re really doing nothing - and yes, someone will need to say that to the parents and it will piss off the other schools. We will be calling them on their shit.] 

 

Louis interpreted that last part with a growing smirk.

 

Haru laughed at it once. Gon did not - and his sharp eyes tensed as if unsure those words were from Louis or Legosi.

 

Legosi continued, [But if Cherryton is ready to step up, then I’ll say this, too: the security here just sucks… My brain always used to be checking doors, windows, cameras, points of access and entry. I know a number of places on campus that we could improve by end of day…]

 

[…The biggest problem though? Cherryton features multiple several-story buildings, over a several kilometer area, yet in my time here I have seen a grand total of ONE security guard … who I now assume travels by vent.]

 

“Rokume,” Gon knew the name of course. “A hire from before my time.” The tiger sighed, “I have previously requested funding for more security guards, only for the expense to be turned down as ‘unnecessary.’”

 

Louis spoke up for himself, “Please tell me you have that in writing, because you can simultaneously prove someone else’s negligence and your own pro-active attempts to prevent this.”

 

The tiger’s eyes glanced around as he tried to remember. “It is likely in meeting minutes or my emails… somewhere.”

 

“Find it,” Louis almost begged. “Because if Cherryton wants to regain the confidence of a bunch of herbivore adults, it won’t come from the three of us giving speeches.”

 

Gon grumbled for a tiny moment. Then he made a point of opening his computer’s email to start searching. “I do not normally condone throwing anyone under the bus… but this seems a valid exception to the rule, yes.”

 

Haru still sounded like she was complaining, “Yeah, some people deserve to get hit by the bus… especially when they put money over kids’ lives. And like, if you’ve got board members shooting down expenses that would have protected kids and then kids got hurt? Hmm, that sounds like… criminal negligence maybe?”

 

Louis smirked at the idea, “Wow, and if they had to be replaced by someone willing to make changes - Gon, that sounds like Cherryton taking action, right? The parents would have more confidence in Cherryton then, wouldn’t they? Knowing Cherryton is doing more for their kids?”

 

The tired tiger sighed even more. “…Is it absolutely necessary for you to be that sarcastic?”

 

Louis readily answered, “It makes me feel better when I’m mad.”

 

The tiger exhaled again and didn’t argue. 

 

Legosi endeavored to be more professional, [And I hate to say this, but we have to consider it’s malice as well. Gon, you’ve said before that people don’t want or trust a tiger in your position. …If someone on the board was against you being the principal, they may have wanted you to fail. Fail horribly.]

 

The tiger grimaced and his hands froze on the keyboard. “Sabotaging school safety… risking children’s lives just to prove I’m incompetent and need to be replaced… I … I don’t want to believe any of them would do that, but-”

 

Louis finished the thought sooner, “But horrible, irresponsible people get in power all the time. We have to hold them accountable, Gon, or the Bloodbone Disaster will happen again.”

 

The air felt heavier then. Gon hesitated a moment more before saying, “Agreed. …Cherryton deserves better.”

 

Gradually Legosi began to sign again, [There are a number of other suggestions I can make for school safety, and we can even get volunteer guards in the interim - either from my grandpa or ideally Louis’ dad - but we’re not just talking about improving security either. If our actual goal is the prevention of segregation… I think another big card in our favor… will be the students themselves.]

 

Gon was momentarily confused, before he suddenly realized where that was going. “You want them to protest again.” Feline eyes started growing wide, “…If the students panic like last night-!”

 

Haru cut in immediately, “Except they didn’t panic. …You told people to use their voices, so they did. That wasn’t a frightened mob last night; that was a civil demonstration - largely organized by yours truly, but guess what? When Legosi’s name came up, the school was very easy to motivate. We can do that again.”

 

Louis took the moment to face her, “And about that, Haru: great work. Really impressive. I honestly did not think so much of the school would come out.”

 

“Thank you, Louis.” Haru allowed herself to sit a bit more proudly. 

 

Legosi had gotten distracted by something he heard outside, but he agreed, [Seconded. That was a really nice way to end an otherwise shitty day.]

 

Gon groaned and leaned back, “Yes, yes, wonderful demonstration. Can we focus on Cherryton falling apart for five more minutes?”

……

The trio gave him closer to fifteen at first, jointly planning out an initial strategy. But Haru pointed out they also had a number of unsupervised students in the garden club and she could hit the ground running with them. There would be no garden club with Legosi if segregation happened. Haru figured that would be good motivation for her new club members right there. The guard went with Haru at Legosi’s direction.

 

Gosha’s gumis were still in the process of conducting their own investigations around the market and the city. That was going to take time. So, too, would securing the market from Madara aggression. Gosha had no desire to involve the kids in that. 

 

At least helping Gon let the trio feel useful in the interim.

 

Louis and Legosi spent another hour with Gon after Haru left, hammering out other details about the school and security. Louis asked about problematic individuals in power as well, just in case he knew them through Horns. Meanwhile Legosi started sketching plans out on paper, and only occasionally fussing with his ear. 

 

Since Pina brought up Riz, Louis wanted to check in regarding support for bears as well. He and Gon already managed to expand disability services to include those bears forced to take the drugs. That alone would be a great help on an individual basis and something Riz could look forward to. Changing the cafeteria’s meal plans had barely begun, but it was still distantly on Gon's radar.

 

Gon knew those plans were originally set up to be “fair” to everyone, but when it came to the great diversity of species? A bird and a bear have vastly different caloric needs.

 

Bears, bulls, hippos, elephants… maybe the school could set it up so those kinds of students could get a second plate in the meantime… Growing kids shouldn't have to feel like they're starving.

 

Gon and the duo did enough to feel competent, but it’d been a long few days for everyone. This had become a marathon, not a race, and they needed to pace themselves. Talking about food made them hungry, and it would be dinner time soon anyway. 

 

But as the pair left the principal’s office, Legosi kept messing with his ear.

 

Louis wondered as they walked, “Your ear hurt, Legosi? You were rubbing it in the office, too. Too much noise lately?”

 

[No.] The wolf still complained, [Don't react, okay? We’re being stalked by the snake again. Do you mind going with me to the basement?] 

 

Louis signed instead of speaking, [Seriously? I mean sure, let’s go. But come on, with a whole school of problems, our one guard is tailing you?]

 

Legosi started turning down a different hallway, [Yeah, they were eavesdropping during our meeting. They probably heard everything.]

 

Louis scoffed, “Rude!”

*

Legosi had finally pinpointed the exact sound of Rokume’s travels. The frequency was such that most people didn’t hear it at all. The few species who could likely chalked it up to white noise. It took Legosi weeks to get familiar, but he could track the sound precisely now. 

 

He knew the snake was following them, even as he and Louis headed downstairs to the basement.

 

At some point Legosi realized that the snake must have had unnaturally skilled senses of her own, to track a student via the vents. She couldn’t possibly keep her eyes on them the whole time.

 

Then, when they were alone, Legosi gave Louis permission to call her out.

 

Hands in his pockets, Louis angrily spoke up, “Hey, Rokume! Are you waiting for an invitation? Cause we have enough stalkers right now, and Gon is going to love you eavesdropping on his private conversations!”

 

Legosi pointed at a wall for Louis’ sake, claw tip tracking the snake’s movement inside the vent. The sound invisibly moved closer, then up and over ahead through the ceiling. Louis and Legosi both watched as a ceiling tile was pushed aside, and then the gargantuan snake flopped bodily onto the floor.

 

Unharmed, Rokume loomed up, all aquiver with excitement. “I was hoping you would notice me, Legosi - and I am pleased to see you again. You continue to exceed my expectations.”

 

It’d been a few days since Legosi last saw the snake. She was so large, she could have swallowed Legosi whole - or possibly even a bear like Riz. Legosi felt much of her weight on his back the other day, when he and Rokume were saving the drugged komodo together. Legosi just didn’t have a good look at her before.

 

The red deer kept his hands in his pockets, and Legosi assumed one of those hands was on a gun - maybe even both hands, considering it was Louis. The red deer snorted, “Yeah, flattery won’t change the offense - but you get points for flattering Legosi, not me.”

 

With surprising agility, Rokume used her tail to flip the guard’s fallen hat back up onto her head. “Then I will apologize, as I have no desire to be shot. It is good to see you as well, Beastar. …I was quite concerned when Yafya began to threaten you. If we are attributing points, I must applaud you for how you handled him.”

 

The deer resisted the urge to growl, but his snout wrinkled anyway. Hands tightened in his pockets. “I’m fairly certain I just said something about eavesdropping and flattery. You are not helping yourself.”

 

Legosi huffed as loud as he could. [Louis, I’m hungry. You’re both pretty. I don’t want this to take all night.]

 

Louis gradually let the frown relax. […You’re right. Sorry.]

 

The snake might not have known sign, but her eyes were still watching them closely. “I assure you I am on your side and am here to assist. It is in fact why I’ve been following you.” 

 

Legosi thought to himself, ‘Most people just say hello… but there's something different about her…’

 

Louis glanced at Legosi, who motioned for them to continue. Louis made it obvious, “Yeah, you’re going to have to do better than that if you don’t want us telling your boss. This stalking thing has gotta stop.”

 

The snake swayed side to side. “I am not here because I fear being fired, but for two other reasons.” Rokume then fixed her eyes fully on the wolf, gaze trailing up and down his body, “Rather… from the moment I saw you on stage, I knew you were the most dazzling, extraordinary beast that this school has seen in years. The more I investigated you, the more fascinating you became.” 

 

Rokume glanced at the deer, “My apologies, Louis, but in my opinion there is no comparison. As a fighter and as a Beastar, Legosi… is a work of art.”

 

Louis just grunted. “I don’t disagree, though Legosi says he does. So you want to be on the Legosi fan club. That’s fair. That’s one reason. Doesn’t excuse you. Now what’s the second?”

 

The snake’s rattle shook in mild irritation. Rokume kept explaining, “I knew your life at Cherryton would be eventful, to say the least, and I have been proven correct many times by now. Trouble follows you - and on every occasion, you have overcome it. It has been … thrilling to watch you from behind the scenes.”

 

Louis complained, “To do your job?”

 

Legosi signed grumpily, [Louis, stop antagonizing the giant security guard.]

 

Louis signed [Sorry,] and zipped his lips shut.

 

Rokume shifted on the ground, displaying the eye-like patterns down her back. “What I mean, Louis, is that I have been keeping an eye on him, in case he needed assistance. Against Marko, he did not. …But you were correct in your assessment with Gon: I am only one guard, and as much as I would like to claim nothing escapes my eyes… things already have.”

 

Legosi suddenly wondered if the focus on vision was a distraction. Even with thermal senses, detection through vent and wall would be dampened. For her to track so well and sense so much across the school, with multiple floors and buildings and so many obstructions… it wasn’t about her eyes at all, was it?

 

First things first: Legosi signed to ask, [Are you talking about when I was abducted by lions, or… are you talking about Tem?]

 

Louis interpreted that automatically, and the snake gave a sober nod. “You were off campus when you were kidnapped. That was beyond my reach. …But I have no excuse for Tem’s murder.” Rokume lowered head and hat both, “That has been my greatest failing in my career. I … cannot possibly apologize enough for that.” 

 

She wasn’t the only one who felt guilty there. Legosi replied, [If you failed him, then so did we. But you can’t be everywhere at once. …I suppose it’s comforting to know someone else always had my back, if I ever actually needed them…]

 

The snake might have appreciated the vote of confidence, but she didn’t show it. Rokume pressed on, “That is, in fact, the other reason I wished to speak with you: I have your back, and there is something Gon did not tell you… If Yafya refuses to officially make you a Beastar, there might be another way to force the Council’s acceptance.”

 

Louis physically perked up, ear twitching at the thought. “Finally something good! Eavesdropping working in our favor.” Louis’ left foot scuffed at the ground.

 

Yet Legosi didn’t like the sound of that at all, [Wait, Gon lied? Why would he do that? He’s been one of our biggest supporters.]

 

The snake clarified, “And to him, this omission is still his manner of supporting you. Gon did not want you to hear this, as he thought it would be unfair to put such pressure upon you.” Rokume glanced down, second guessing her own self in the process. “I do not know if Gon is wrong. But considering how Yafya acted in the past… I just don’t know if we can trust him, or if we have a choice.”

 

Louis grumpily crossed his arms, “We get it, we’re kids. Just say it already.”

 

The snake shook her head. Then she took a deep breath. “The Council previously delivered an ultimatum to Cherryton: whichever student could identify Tem’s killer was to be made Cherryton’s next Beastar… The Council rarely agrees upon anything, but this was almost unanimous. Identify the killer, become a Beastar…”

 

Rokume kept swaying as she talked, “Gon still thought it unacceptable, expecting students to turn on each other like that. Unfair to ask so much of children. Fostering distrust. That it should be the responsibility of adults to establish justice. But… none of us have been able to identify the killer either.”

 

Quick-witted Louis put together a number of pieces right away. He realized, “But if we could… this might be actionable. If we - if Legosi - managed to figure out who killed Tem… we could make the Council eat their words. Anyone, no matter who, being worthy of the nomination?”

 

Rokume wanted to make sure he understood, “I must confess that I do not know the specific terms laid out, as I was not present for the meeting myself. It may not work. But you deserve to know all your options, and… a part of me hopes you can succeed where I failed, and give Tem the justice he deserves.”

 

Legosi was standing tall, but his ears had begun drooping. Eyes fell slightly lower, same as his tail. Hands waited at his sides in silence. 

 

Pacing, Louis just got even more excited. He was fitting even more details together. “Yeah, but even if it isn’t an ‘I Win’ button on the Beastar front, it could still defeat segregation. Tem’s death - and his killer walking free - is the biggest loose thread we have right now. Everyone got hit by Bloodbone, but Cherryton had no deaths expressly because of Legosi. The jaguar was expelled, the lions are on our side now…” Louis’ mouth opened with a bigger grin, “We find the killer, we prove Cherryton is in fact safer than other schools! No mysterious killer lurking in the school or the minds of parents. Plus, we prove to everyone that Legosi is on the side of justice! Not a gangster! Bringing rogue criminals in to face the law! This is perfect!!”

 

There was no smile for Legosi though. The wolf only needed a few seconds of thought to realize Gon was right: this was messed up.

 

Memories of carnivore students raced through his head like a broken slide show. Faces of friends were at the forefront, smiling and laughing. The drama club, his roommates, classmates, anyone he could think of who spent time near Tem, even the teachers…

 

He could excuse many right away, weeding out suspects, but there were only so many options.

 

He’d thought about it before, because of course he had; hadn’t everyone asked the same question? ‘Who killed Tem?’ Most just didn’t know Tem themselves to make a good enough guess.

 

But back then, Legosi had only been closer to Jack than Tem, and he remembered so much of the alpaca. 

 

If only they had more time, could Tem have been his best friend? Or even something more, like Louis?

 

The wolf’s strange hybrid scent vault was just as impossibly strong as ever, and he recalled Tem’s scent with perfect clarity.

 

He could even remember the feel of Tem’s wool against his fingers…

 

Legosi knew Tem better than a bunch of cops, and knew the drama club, too. All those carnivores were his friends, but if one of them was the killer… Legosi immediately knew it was not a question of if he could figure it out, but if he wanted that responsibility.

 

Save a school by condemning a friend? Yeah, that’s perfectly fair. The Council sounds like a bunch of jerks.

 

Legosi had to keep his breath perfectly measured, and he looked at that ginormous snake once more. [I will only consider this if you answer my question honestly. …Rokume, the largest snakes are anaconda and python. You are clearly a rattlesnake, yet you are physically larger than them. You track and travel by vent, from which you somehow do your job. Your senses must be abnormally or even impossibly sharp. My hybrid nose is like that; I assume for you it’s either your ears or some kind of thermal sense.]

 

The snake’s rattle began shaking again in excitement. A grin slowly split her wide face and she loomed closer, “That is not a question, Legosi. If you want an answer, you must ask a question.”

 

Louis relayed it all with a growing sense of confusion. The look on Legosi’s face, however, was one of sobering certainty. 

 

[If society recognized a hybrid as a Beastar, would you finally walk the halls with the rest of us? Or would you still be ashamed of your own body?]

 

It wasn’t what she expected and it cut even deeper to the core. “Fascinating,” she said. “You are still… so fascinating.”

Chapter 62: The choice you made already

Summary:

This is why I trained them first.

Notes:

I've still been sick a lot, but, you know, what else is new. The next chapter won't take as long though, I promise. It's already mostly done.

An excerpt from Chapter 56.

 

*

 

Gouhin moved one hand like he was counting the sequence of events, “You were taking the pills. And then a day came when you stopped taking them… Did you take them in the weeks before that? Months? Years?”

 

The young bear was disgusted at himself. “What does that even matter??”

 

Gouhin explained, “The pills give you migraines.”

 

“Yes!”

 

“Depression?”

 

“Yes!”

 

Gouhin listed a few more symptoms, “The pills cause you debilitating bodily pain. They cause agony every single day. The pills make it hard to think. They make it hard to focus, hard to sleep or wake up. They confuse you. They affect your ability to concentrate and reason, to make good judgments…”

 

Riz took longer to reply. “…Yes.”

 

As slow as possible, Gouhin took the bottle of pills from his pocket. “Then the pills… are a mind-altering substance…”

 

Put the pieces together, Riz.

 

There are so many, but they all string together. 

 

“…You unintentionally made a bad decision… an uninformed decision… while you were on a mind-altering substance…”

 

“…a substance you were only taking… because your government forced you to take it over a long, extended period of time…”

 

“…Your altered mental state… and any uninformed decisions made while influenced by it… are thus the fault… of your government…”

 

Connect the logic, Riz.

 

It’s not your fault. 

 

“…Your government willfully spiked your drink without your full knowledge or consent, convinced you it was safe to drive yourself home on an empty stomach, and set you up on a collision course with your best friend…”

 

“…They practically cut your brakes and stole your airbags…”

 

“…It’s not your fault something bad happened. They made it inevitable - framed you for murder and they got you to believe it was your own negligence.”

 

Riz was crying openly then, and his hands were scratching harder at his chest. “But he called me a monster.”

 

Gouhin slowly got up and took hold of the younger bear’s wrists. “He didn’t know better.”

 

*

 

Rokume knew things that most people didn’t. 

 

Everyone saw the broken door to Lecture Hall 2…

 

Few, even among the staff, knew that an injury first happened several floors up. Rokume overheard the police saying Tem had likely been wounded to the arm or torso, based on the blood drip. 

 

He ran down the hallway and several flights of stairs, until finally getting to the room of his death. By then the alpaca had already lost a significant amount of blood.

 

Tem had sought to brace or lock it from inside, but the assailant broke through soon enough. 

 

Rokume was the one who found the blood trail on her rounds, and then the body in the lecture hall. The killer was long gone by then. Blood was abundant, but all of it Tem’s. The school did their best to clean up everything before students awoke, but Rokume had staff take photographs for her as well. 

 

Those photos hadn’t been a benefit to her investigation, but she could provide copies for Legosi later. Maybe he could see something they missed.

 

Legosi walked the long path himself, from Tem’s first injury all the way to the lecture hall. Each step was a disconcerting step back into the past, into a wound he thought was healed.

 

Then he held his right fist just shy of the door, measuring certain things in his head - trying not to make contact. He didn’t want to damage or alter it any further. Every bit of it was evidence.

 

That led Legosi to making his first request, with Louis interpreting as always. [This isn’t the only entrance to the lecture hall. There are other doors just like these ones. Is it possible to get the school’s permission … so I can break a pair of those myself?]

 

The great snake’s tongue flicked from her mouth and tasted the air. She seemed to realize, “You wish to compare your strength to the killer’s?”

 

[Pretty much.] As carefully as possible, Legosi placed his knuckles against certain marks in the material. [I can see multiple dents from the attacker’s hands, but no solid imprints, from a fist or a palm. I need to see how sturdy this kind of door actually is.]

 

They’d have to ask Gon, but yeah, they could.

 

Legosi wanted to groan though, because he had no desire to bother the tiger so soon after their last meeting. They literally just left him. [Okay, well I’m tired and starving, and I don’t want Rokume to get in trouble for going over Gon’s head. Louis, can you ask him without telling him about the Council or Rokume’s involvement? Make up a story?]

 

The sly red deer was awfully good at stories… Louis was already pulling his phone out of his pocket. “I’m on it. It can be all our idea, not hers.”

 

The two of them used dinner time to rendezvous with Haru, and both sides quickly apprised the other of what they missed.

 

The rabbit was quick to complain, “I leave you two alone for an hour and now we’re solving a cold-case murder with a hybrid security cop. …I’m starting to get the impression I can’t leave you two alone at all.”

 

Legosi shrugged in a painfully awkward way, [Yeah, it’s… it won’t take long.]

 

Haru munched rapidly at the veggie pasta she had for dinner. “Considering it’s Louis and solving this could solve so much? I doubt Gon is gonna care much about another door.”

 

That was not, however, exactly what Legosi meant…

 

Louis was more interested in Haru’s side: “So how goes Operation Insurrection?”

 

The naughty rabbit chuckled like a villain, “Ohh, it goes, my young apprentice. It goes.” She held her fork like a devil’s pitchfork. “They know not the wrath they have invoked! Mwa haha haha!”

 

The deer snickered and elbowed the wolf, “Clearly someone else wants in on the drama club.”

 

Legosi gave a little huff and weakly rolled his eyes. [Haven’t we made that joke before? I don’t even remember anymore…] On the bright side, Legosi could keep eating even when he was signing. More food in his mouth was decidedly a good thing.

 

Haru munched a bit more herself, but she didn’t care about politeness. “But seriously, the foundation we built with the school carnivores, that was a great place to start. Everybody on Team Bear is on Team Legosi. Everybody in the expanded garden club jumped at the chance to help even more…” 

 

She laughed at an old thought, “…So it’s like I joked way way way back: it is officially ‘The garden club,’ asterisk, tiny little letters, ‘and everything else as needed.’” She tapped her fork against a picky piece of pasta, “Right now, we need to grow things! Our plants, our health, and a civil revolution! We got a grassroots movement growing! I love it!” She nodded her head sagaciously, “This appeals to me on many levels.”

 

Louis snorted just once. “How long have you wanted to use that joke?”

 

Haru leaned back in her chair and stretched. “It’s been on my mind. Give me a bit more time and we’ll be ready to take the school board by storm.”

 

“Again,” Louis added to her sentence, and grinned at Legosi. Louis made a point of praising the wolf, “And you know this is all thanks to you, right, big guy? None of us would be here without you.”

 

Louis pat him on the shoulder, and the wolf was caught between enjoying the feel and shrinking from it. Instead Legosi just held still and forced a smile. [I can take a compliment, Louis, but… I still think you two would be fine on your own.]

 

Haru finally dabbed her mouth with a napkin, “Me, certainly! Louis? I have my doubts. And I know I just talked about leaving you two alone, but…” Haru shiftily glanced to the side, wary of anyone eavesdropping in the cafeteria. “After dinner, I’m supposed to be meeting Rabbit-sensei for another lesson on rope no jutsu. Can you two handle the investigation for a few more hours on your own?”

 

Louis laughed, throwing his head high and his antlers back. “Oh ye of little faith! I bet Legosi could wrap up this whole thing by himself.” He affectionately rubbed elbows with the wolf and smirked, “Couldn’t you, big guy? You got suspects already, don’t you? Some sinister senior? A nefarious ne’er-do-well? A miscreant like Marko!”

 

A few more fangs showed through the grit of Legosi’s horribly-forced smile. [Whatever you say, Louis.]

 

Thankfully Haru was a little more perceptive. “Yeah, and Louis? That’s Legosi code-speak for he’s feeling uncomfortable and pressured, so be a good boy while I’m gone. Do not push.”

 

The red deer went blank for a moment. “What? I’m not pushing.” Louis regarded him again, honestly concerned and now off-balance. “I mean, yes, it’s a lot of pressure, but - Legosi, I don’t actually expect you to solve this on your own. You know that, right?”

 

The wolf certainly shrugged like it was unpleasant. Legosi fussed with the last of his dinner, then finally admitted, [It’s not about that, okay? It’s just… a lot to take in.] Which was true, but not the full story. He just didn't want to sign it out loud. [I said I was tired and hungry, okay?] He gestured at the end of his plate, [Well, now I’m not so hungry. But I’m still tired.]

 

Worried, Louis glanced at Haru, then he sought to offer, “I mean, the case is still going to be cold tomorrow. It’s been a crazy week. Legosi, if you want to call it a night now, we can do that.”

 

Haru somberly agreed, “While the gumis take care of business on their end, getting more sleep now would be good for you. All this stuff is running you ragged.”

 

Legosi nodded and exhaled more deeply that time. [A part of me wants to just get it over with, but… it is best to rest while I can.] Legosi double checked the state of his shoulder, which was particularly tense.

 

“Exactly!” Haru said cheerily, holding up the last bit of her veggie pasta. “We gotta pace ourselves! And lucky for you two, I’m here with dozens of well-intentioned students and we’re here to pick up the slack.” She shoved the pasta in her mouth and practically chewed the food with her whole body, “This has never been one-and-done. We’re fighting for the many now - and we ain’t fighting alone.”

 

That time, the wolf’s smile wasn’t forced at all. [Thanks, Haru. That does help. A lot.] He turned to Louis, [If you’re really okay, waiting another day, then… honestly… a good night’s rest would be a good place for me to start. We can tackle the investigation tomorrow night…]

 

When Louis smiled at him, it made Legosi feel better already. “Of course. …We can always move at your pace…”

……

Perhaps it was inevitable that Legosi had an awkward night. Even trying to sleep, he’d still been thinking of Tem, the murder, and the time they’d spent together. His dreams that night felt all the sharper for it.

 

A series of confusing images and frightening dream logic finally gave way to something memorable.

 

He was back in the drama club, but everything felt soft and light. There was an ethereal quality to the atmosphere - a simpleness and happiness…

 

Tem was still there with them…

 

Fluffy and innocent and frequently naive… The combination was as likely to make someone laugh as shake their head…

 

Always spoke his mind, too! Even when signing! [You’re so scary, Legosi.]

 

Oh, the things Tem could say with a straight face… [Does it bother you… that everybody is always talking, but not with you?]

 

Of course it does… but Legosi weakly insisted, [They talk to me…]

 

The alpaca was quick to apologize, [Ah, sorry. That sounded bad, didn’t it? …I just mean… well, what’s it like for you? Seeing, listening, being here, but… not being heard?]

 

Who the hell talks like that?

 

Tem, apparently…

 

But that same boldness was exactly what made him so easy to get along with. He was as fearless as Haru and as vibrant as Louis… Didn’t have a lick of prejudice for carnivores. So carefree, and free with his care…

 

One of those days, Legosi found himself asking without even thinking, [Is alpaca wool different from sheep wool?]

 

Tem made such a face then! Ha! They were in the middle of stretches, but Tem stopped suddenly. [Where did that come from??]

 

Legosi’s ear flicked and he got embarrassed right away. [Sorry. That was a weird question.]

 

“Heheheh…” Tem seemed to take it as a matter of pride. He puffed up his chest and drew attention to his fluffy throat. [Well, alpaca wool is far more delicate than any sheep’s wool. Clothing made from alpaca wool is so much better to touch.] There was a small sparkle in his eyes then, and Tem signed, [You can touch my wool if you want.]

 

The way Tem bared his neck for him then… the daringness of it, the impossible vulnerability… No herbivore in their right mind would make an offer like that - let a huge clawed carnivore get their hands on his neck, or anywhere near it.

 

Haru and Louis had been vulnerable with the wolf since then, but at the time Legosi’s brain was left stuttering.

 

But the way Tem was back then, how he smiled and drew you in, Legosi could barely bring himself to protest.

 

Even in the dream, Legosi’s hand moved so slowly. Clawed fingertips were ever so careful on approach. And when they finally made contact, Legosi was filled with wonder - the lightness of a cloud, softness and innocence, the warmth of flesh, and it all welcomed him in. His fingers slid into the fluff and stroked downwards - an action that Legosi would have loved to repeat.

 

He didn’t, back then. Too embarrassed. Too self-conscious. There were so many things Legosi would never have allowed himself to do, or could even consider…

 

Oh, how Tem could just light up the whole room with his simple presence…

 

Make so many things fade away…

 

Legosi breathed in and Tem smelled just as he did back then… every note and subtlety the same…

 

Every bit and trace of him, including…

 

Including the traces mixed in…

 

Legosi startled awake when dream Tem gave him a kiss.

 

Oh no.

……

He kept the dream to himself, but it’s not like it went away.

 

Legosi had all day to think about it - the dream, the murder, and Tem.

 

Answers itched at the edge of his consciousness.

 

By the time evening rolled around, Legosi felt like he knew it all already.

 

He was a scientist on a mission. A detective, stiff and calculating. Legosi approached Lecture Hall 2 and asked, [Louis, can you hold up a picture of the broken doors on your phone? …Thanks.]

 

Rokume’s presence provided an air of legitimacy, but at this late hour, all the students had left. Even the teachers were away. Naturally Louis was there to interpret, while Haru fit in another cram session with Kyuu. Try not to be concerned about that. It was just Haru, extremely self-motivated, world-reckoner, accomplisher of all things great and small, now poised towards civil unrest and uncivil violence. Oh dear. 

 

Legosi made a conscious effort to put it out of his mind because Haru could make her own decisions.

 

Focus on the door.

 

Focus on Tem’s death, and whoever was strong enough to break it.

 

Considering most other students would be in their dorms by now, a little noise should be fine… 

 

Really, there was something to be gained just from knowing that. How loud could they get without being heard? Rokume’s little trick relied on the vents and if she wasn’t in the right building at the time, she could still miss something…

 

Legosi started just by rattling the door, lightly at first, then with greater force. He tested different parts of the frame, the solidity, the amount of give one could get by pushing and shaking… Then he attempted to recreate a few marks. Basic hits began as weak as possible, then built up strength.

 

It was sturdier than he first thought. His knuckles were starting to sting by the time he shifted gears - but he couldn’t say he was ‘satisfied.’ The more time he spent on this, the worse knowing an answer felt.

 

Legosi asked the others while feeling up the back of his hands, [None of the students reported hand injuries in the days after Tem’s death, did they? Or wrists?]

 

The snake flicked a tongue before answering, “We can verify those records held by the school nurses, but I do not believe so.”

 

Legosi assumed the authorities would have been watching that, but it didn’t hurt to double check. [Figures… In a case like this, you have to expect both parties getting harmed somehow…]

 

Louis made a guess of his own, “So either the attacker got hurt and hid it a few days, or were tough enough to avoid harm altogether.”

 

The wolf thought to himself, ‘More likely the later.’

 

Legosi went back to the original doors again, double checking the attacker’s marks with the new ones he made on the other set. He was hoping for some fresh insight, but hadn’t found it yet. The wolf exhaled a breathy sigh, then stretched his hands again. [Okay… time to break a door…]

 

Back to the new set. For a brief moment, Legosi took a proper stance, preparing to break them the way Gosha might have done. If you know how to do it, there are ways to do it cleaner. 

 

Whoever broke those doors, however… did not know those ways. Legosi reflected on the myriad marks, the way someone had hit, cracked, assaulted the heavy door to a point of splintering. Just trying to overwhelm it?

 

Not a trained carnivore warrior then. It was probably panic work - or someone’s loss of control.

 

Panicking… freaking out…

 

Legosi hit the door like he was knocking hard upon it. Like someone might have heard and answered him. He slammed his fist against it, then repeated the action. He used one hand, then another. He got closer to the marks on the first door, but he still wasn’t there - not until he got desperate. Not until he put his back into it. He hammered the door with both arms and smashed it with a lunge. Then there was a great cracking and clatter, and the doors swung wildly inwards.

 

By the end of it, when the barrier finally broke, Legosi was panting open-mouthed.

 

Louis seemed marginally troubled by the exchange, but Legosi gestured for the phone. [Show me the picture again.] The deer did so, and Legosi looked back and forth between the first pair of doors and the second. It wasn’t a perfect or easy comparison by small phone screen. But with the help of a little multitool, Legosi managed to unhinge the doors he broke. 

 

Legosi carried them himself over to the original pair, placing them side by side. Then he took a few more photos of them himself, just so he could look back at the evidence when he wanted. 

 

But Louis and Rokume were right there and making inspections of their own. Louis raised his camera toward the doors, “They… don’t actually look that different.” Louis didn’t touch the damage, but he examined it so closely, his nose hovered over the material. “The transparent plastic does, or whatever that stuff is - the way it splintered. But if I didn’t know which one you broke, and which one was done by the killer, I wouldn’t be able to tell.”

 

Legosi gave a quiet huff, then rubbed his hands again. [Yeah… I saw that, too.] Another huff and he shook his head. [Okay. I’m done here, thanks. I got what I needed. …Rokume, you’re sure I can keep copies of your crime scene photos?]

 

The snake agreed, “Only because it is you, Legosi.” Her head shifted side to side in the air, “But I would caution you keep them from the eyes of others. Most people will not be accustomed to such… blood.”

 

And there really was so much of it, starting on the upper floor, trailing the whole way as Tem ran… 

 

One more detail painting a picture that Legosi didn’t want to see. [Thanks…] Not…

 

He made a conscious decision not to look at them yet, and definitely not the body. 

……

He didn’t want to see Tem’s corpse. Can you blame him? Legosi remembered too much already.

 

Louis would have been willing to look, but kindness led Haru to volunteer instead. She was the only one who didn’t actually know Tem when he was alive. Plus she had a medical perspective from Gouhin and the clinic.

 

The trio still wanted privacy for this conversation. The garden’s little club room would do for that, with windows shut and door locked. Legosi stayed standing, but his partners sat on the edge of the bed. 

 

Haru took the packet of crime scene photos, and separated the pictures of Tem’s body from the rest. She handed the safe ones to Legosi and Louis. The photos of Tem’s corpse, she kept to herself. 

 

Medical training or not, she still grimaced at the images before her. Her mouth went dry and ears started to dip. The scene definitely veered toward the worst end of Gouhin’s photographs.

 

Legosi glanced through the ‘nicer’ photos of the blood trail, but most of his attention was on Haru. Louis spoke for both of them, “How bad is it?”

 

Haru slowly flipped through the pictures. “Well, I can say one thing right away: whoever did this… must have had a big stomach…”

 

Louis ground his teeth together and hissed. Legosi’s ears angled back, and he chose to start pacing.

 

Haru held up the photos and shifted their angle in the air. “No prints in the blood by the body… Maybe there were at one time, but the rest of Tem’s blood spread over it by the time these were taken. …Ugh, if the killer actually left a handprint, this would have been solved the day of.”

 

Legosi bothered to ask, [Did it look professional?]

 

“Professional?” Haru repeated, glancing between him and the photos. “Like a professional killer?”

 

Legosi stopped pacing only long enough to clarify, [Like someone who knew how to properly cut an herbivore for meat? A butcher. Or does it look… wild?]

 

Haru scrutinized the images more intensely. “Wild, definitely. There’s nothing surgical or proper about this. His shirt is in tatters. It looks more like… like they started at the neck or center of the body and worked outwards, just trying to eat as much meat as possible. Even some organs.”

 

Another moment of hesitation and Legosi worried, [Like they were starving?]

 

“I guess?” Haru blinked and stared at the photo and then at him. “I mean… they’d probably have to be starving to consume this much.”

 

Louis gripped the edge of the bed, having to hold himself back from getting closer. “Rokume and the cops all thought it was just one assailant. But is it possible there was more than one devourer? Could this have been a group effort?”

 

Haru murmured to herself in thought. “Well, I can’t discount the fact that one person started eating and a second finished. …But maybe the cops knew something we didn’t.”

 

Legosi signed in an offhand manner, making it difficult for Louis to read. [They were probably hedging a bet on statistics. Most devouring falls into three categories: one carnivore who loses control, a serial devourer, or a hunting party - like a gang or a gumi. The most common is the first. If it’s a group, there’s a measure of… pre-meditation. They know what they’re getting into. That leads to planning and opportunity, like a serial killer. Like what happened to us in the park.] Legosi struggled with how best to explain it, [This feels too much like …panic work. It’s messy. Uncoordinated. They didn’t know what they were doing… so in all likelihood, it was probably the first.]

 

Louis glanced down at a new photo and grumbled to himself, feeling more irritated by the lack of information. “The cops might have deduced other stuff, figured out things in a lab somewhere… I doubt my Beastar credentials are enough to get us that though, and I don’t know if Rokume could access it either.”

 

Legosi’s pacing picked up speed, one wall to another, moving so fast his tail would flick against the furniture. There was such intensity and conflict about his features, inner determination fighting wholesale with awareness. His snout was wrinkling enough, he was even starting to show a hint of fangs… 

 

You don’t have to be Haru to realize something was going unsaid…

 

Haru tried to gently begin, “I don’t want to rush you, but I’m getting the distinct impression there’s something you’re not signing. Would it be easier to write it down, or would you like me to ask questions to ease you into it?”

 

Legosi had to stop and take a deep breath. Then he rubbed his face with his hand, and willed his features flat.

 

Louis tried to be considerate as well, “Legosi, if you need a break-”

 

No need for Louis to interpret these signs: [I think… I loved Tem.]

 

“Whoa,” Haru said immediately. “Really?”

 

Louis spoke in shock, “Since when?”

 

Neither were expecting that.

 

Legosi started fussing with his hands, shifting on his feet, [I don’t know? Back then? Now? Always? I never thought about it before! He died before I even met Haru - before Louis was nice, before I even had the language for feelings for anyone! Definitely before I could even entertain the idea of a relationship with him! He had a crush on Els and I knew that!]

 

The deer was still startled, but managed to keep interpreting. “And somehow I missed all of that.”

 

Haru was handling it better, but there was still a measure of surprise. She gingerly touched at her neck, “And considering we’re trying to solve his murder, this is is probably throwing your psyche for a loop.” 

 

[No kidding!] Legosi signed sarcastically, then aggressively shook his hands - like he was angry at them for being huge and clawed and monstrous. [Which makes the next part even harder to admit, cause now I want to lie about the whole case!]

 

Still confused, but Haru replied without being offended, “To us or someone else?”

 

[Everyone!] Legosi wanted to pace again, but that would make it harder for Louis to read his signs. [I don’t want to say what I know! I don’t! But the Madaragumi gave that whole vile contrived speech about hybrids being tricksters and liars, and now I want to lie!]

 

“About what?” Haru asked for both of them.

 

The wolf huffed and looked towards the window with its drawn curtain. [Tem’s killer! …I already figured it out.]

 

That time, Louis barely finished interpreting before raising his voice, “When did you do that?!” Louis couldn’t keep seated at that point.

 

[After we finished with the doors,] Legosi signed smaller. [At least I’m like 80% certain.]

 

Haru was a little less emotional and more objective. She patted the packet of photos, “You figured out the identity of a cold-case killer just from breaking a door?”

 

[Hardly,] Legosi weakly explained. [It just taught me the last few things I needed to know. …Everything else is from spending the school year here and process of elimination.]

 

Patient Haru kept guiding him along, “Okay. We’re dealing with a lot of complicated feelings and concerns here. Still sounds dicey to me, but let’s go through it together. Let’s step back. Start at the beginning and we’ll see if it sticks.”

 

One breath just wasn’t going to cut it here. Legosi huffed deep and long. Then he made a point of getting out a specific set of photos and spreading them out on the bed. [The blood trail might actually be the most important piece of evidence. …Rokume showed me where it began and how long it went. And that was something I couldn’t have known about in the past. It’s like… the cops figured the killer was somebody close to Tem, but that sounded like anti-carnivore prejudice at the time.]

 

Haru calmly acknowledged, “And it still could be.”

 

Legosi pressed forward, [Whoever broke that door was a large-breed carnivore just like me - and probably even bigger. It’s possible they broke that door without even getting hurt. Nobody was found with injuries to their wrists or hands in the time after Tem was killed. That leaves very few carnivores on campus who could be suspects.]

 

Haru had to stop him there, “You lost me. I thought you said the blood trail mattered more than the door.”

 

[It does,] Legosi insisted grumpily, [Because put it together and you have a large-breed carnivore who is vastly bigger and stronger than Tem… and yet Tem managed to get all the way down one hall, down several flights of stairs, across the floor and into the lecture hall before they caught up. …That is a lot of time a smaller herbivore had to run away while injured.]

 

“Smaller, but not necessarily slower.” Even if she wasn’t on the same page, Haru followed the logic and saw what he was getting at. “You think the killer should have overtaken him more easily, but didn’t. They didn’t, because… what? You think they were playing with him? Hurt him first and told him to run?”

 

Legosi disagreed, fur getting more riled up in the process, [Doesn't feel right for that. Why would Tem be up there to begin with? On that floor? He didn’t run in from outside like he was escaping someone. He was purposefully all the way across campus, away from teachers and dorm mothers… like he was meeting someone in secret, and then…]

 

Louis reflected on the desperate way Legosi had been hitting at the door earlier and started to realize, “Something bad happened.”

 

The rabbit casually wondered, “Maybe it was blackmail? Or a trick? The killer told Tem to meet them somewhere in private, setting him up to die.”

 

Legosi started pacing again and it was like he could see the events in his mind’s eye, [That’s pre-meditation. If Tem got away, there’s a risk he could have identified them. If it was blackmail, blackmail could get Tem anywhere else - somewhere more isolated, a safer place to play a lethal game. Fewer avenues of escape to ensure Tem dies…]

 

Legosi stopped and grit his teeth, and the unpleasant scent of blood plagued his memory.

 

[…Instead it’s like the killer… just hesitated… Whether it was something said before Tem got hurt… or if it WAS Tem getting hurt… the killer panicked.] 

 

[They freaked out and hesitated, and Tem ran. Bleeding, he got a head start.] 

 

[They chased after Tem, for whatever reason. But the killer was still panicking.] 

 

[They weren’t moving smart, or that door would have broken way easier for them. …Maybe they tried to talk through the door first. Maybe they were knocking at it first, just too hard, too roughly, hoping for a response…]

 

Again Legosi stopped and stared down at his own hands. The rush of his heartbeat was pulsing through his veins, accelerated by irritation and frustration.

 

[…Considering how much blood Tem lost, there’d probably been some kind of arterial cut or damage. So by the time Tem even got there… Tem probably wasn’t in his right mind either.]

 

Another big sigh, and Legosi believed, [The killer didn’t show up to devour. So either it was a crime of passion… or an accident.] Legosi gripped at his tight chest, which was aching fully now. [It feels… like an accident.]

 

And in that was such sorrow.

 

Haru mumbled the words herself, “An accidental devouring.” 

 

Legosi’s limbs were all the more stiff as he signed, [Someone huge. Someone strong, and tough, who didn’t show up that night to hurt Tem - someone Tem didn’t think would hurt him either, or he would never have met them under those circumstances.]

 

Louis finished interpreting that, then he raised a hand to speak for himself. “And if the cops knew all this… then that explains why they’d think it was someone close to Tem. And they probably wouldn’t want to go around school, saying the dead kid was having a secret rendezvous with a carnivore. Everyone would get pissed at them for victim blaming, especially Tem’s parents. But… the only big carnivores Tem was friends with, were those in the drama club.”

 

Legosi exhaled and it was like all the wind escaped him at once. [Which is where process of elimination comes in… I’ve been closely training with Tao and Aoba for months. So I know exactly how strong they are, and how big their fists are. They could have caught Tem, maybe ate a lot, but before I trained them, they couldn’t have caused that kind of damage to the doors without injury.]

 

Haru still explored the scenario, “That’s assuming they used fists. Maybe they weren’t using their hands after all. Maybe they kicked it.” 

 

Legosi shook his head, [It would have left different marks. The impact zone, the damage to the door, it’d look different. They were hands - big hands.]

 

Louis could figure certain things for himself, “That excludes several carnivores right away, like Sheila. The door would absolutely wreck her hands, and she’s way too scrawny to have eaten much of him.”

 

Legosi continued right from there, [Same story for many. Juno wasn’t even with us yet. Most of the others are too small to make those kinds of marks, or physically eat that much in one sitting. …I’d say Bill had the necessary qualifications, but… Louis, do you remember what I said about Bill being safe?]

 

The deer blanked for a moment. “Uh. No?” Louis shook his head, “…Legosi, you say a lot of things about a lot of people. No, I don’t remember it all.” 

 

Legosi huffed because that was part of the equation as well. [Bill was still a meat virgin the night I met Gouhin, which was way after Tem’s death. We can rule Bill out on that basis. He can’t have been a meat virgin then if he’d already eaten Tem.]

 

The frustrated wolf rubbed aggressively at his forehead. [Physically…! That just leaves…]

 

“Riz,” Louis finished out loud, and his heart plummeted with it.

 

Legosi gave a mournful nod.

 

Haru found herself saying, “No. …No way! We all saw how messed-up he was on the pills!”

 

Legosi signed small, [Exactly… but I know Tem spent a lot of time with Riz. Like… more than just club time…] Legosi leaned back against the wall and let his back slump down a few centimeters. [When I talked with Riz the other day, he said they were trying to be secret about how much time they spent together. That they’d meet in secret. Riz was even afraid the other herbivores would bully Tem for spending so much time around him. I still remember Tem’s scent and yeah, Riz’s scent was on him a lot.]

 

Haru was still leaning forward, hardly believing it. “I more than anyone here know how Mean Girls herbivores can get with their rumormill. I get the pair of them taking precautionary measures, even if nothing is going on between them, but…” Haru separated her hands in the air, “…saying all that, I still need you to clarify: do you mean on him like ‘they were sitting next to each other a lot,’ or like ‘they were hugging and kissing a lot’?”

 

Legosi sniffed intensely at the air, but he was focused on the memory. [ …At least the first. I can’t disprove the second. But I know Tem had a crush on Els. He had this love letter written to her but he never got the courage to tell her, and he didn’t want me telling her or anyone else either.]

 

Haru commented with her pointer outstretched, “Which doesn’t preclude the fact that Riz might have loved Tem. …If he had a crush on Tem and it wasn’t reciprocated…?”

 

Louis remembered the horrible afternoon he spent with Riz, seeing how distraught and upset the bear had been. “The way Riz talked about him in drama club… I almost want to agree with you. He’s never been able to get over Tem’s death. When he was crying, he said…” 

 

“…he said Tem was the only one who cared about him…” Louis scoffed a morbid laugh and scratched at an antler, “Pina tried flirting with him the other day. That didn’t work out, but honestly that would be the appropriate response for Riz - whether he was gay for herbivores or not.” 

 

With a heavy breath, Legosi acknowledged, [Riz… might have loved Tem, too… I can’t comment beyond that. …And yeah, when I talked to Riz the other day, he mentioned never being able to help people… and wanting to die. Having no support from family or friends. That when he agreed to go with the club and rescue me, he honestly hoped the gang would shoot him dead.]

 

It was easy for Haru to assume, “Like he wanted to be punished…”

 

Legosi shrugged, [Maybe? I already figured he had depression, and the pills are partially responsible for that. But I had a feeling he might have been experiencing PTSD as well. If something happened, if he killed Tem by accident… that would absolutely count as traumatic…]

 

Haru went through the photos and paired it with the story in her head, “Riz and Tem have a secret rendezvous. Something happens. Tem accidentally gets hurt.” Louis inserted, “Badly.” 

 

“Badly,” she agreed, “But it’s just an accident. Accidents happen. And he’s a big guy. Presumably he’s used to controlling his strength, but… oh fuck.” Haru slapped the photos to her forehead and scrunched her eyes shut. “The fucking bear drugs! I was trying to research those for him the other day! If he missed a few doses, if he was rebounding off the pills, he wouldn’t be able to control his strength! If he even held Tem’s arm too tightly, then…!”

 

Crunch. 

 

She shook her head hard and refocused, “His body would be going crazy to rebuild itself. His insides would be freaking out for meat - which of course our society made illegal to get! …If he smelled a lot of blood - if he was exposed to such a massive amount of it at once, if prey was running… he wouldn’t… he wouldn’t be in control…” Haru’s ears drooped lower, “He’d be practically feral.”

 

Legosi fell so far down the wall, he sat right there on the floor. Louis felt such a mix of despair and anger, he slammed his fist hard against the nearest wall. Louis admitted, “I always wanted to bring Tem’s killer to justice! But if that’s what happened… then… Riz never even had a chance. …Those pills fucked with him and so did the lack of meat. Poisoned, starving, and set up to fail.”

 

Legosi took a deeper breath then. After a second of comforting his chest, he admitted, [I hadn’t even considered the pills being able to do that. That’s… actually a relief to hear. That it wasn’t malice, it was… an accident. Some government drug screwing up his head.]

 

Haru thumped her heel against the bed beneath her, “Head, heart, nerves, muscles! Heck! That’s most of his body and then some, all fried by those stupid drugs.”

 

Louis finished, “With Tem in the wrong place at the wrong time…” Then he added with more anger, nails digging into his hands, “Those fucking pills! It’s not enough they’re ruining carnivore lives, they got Tem killed, too?!”

 

Think again. Double check your work. Haru tried to pump the brakes, “If Riz was the one involved - and technically speaking this is a whole lot of conjecture…”

 

Haru set the photos aside, “…Sure, we have evidence that it was a tough large-breed carnivore, who Tem probably knew and met in secret. That’s not necessarily Riz. Riz could have been traumatized by some other event, and just blaming himself for Tem’s death. Legosi, when your PTSD was worse, did you not blame yourself for a lot of things out of your control?”

 

From the floor, Legosi gave a quiet upwards nod. [Anything and everything…]

 

“See?” Haru spread her arms, “There you go. Could have been someone else. And if it was him, well, he’s with Gouhin getting treatment. So it seems to me like the quickest way to clear him at this point… is actually to ask Gouhin.”

 

Legosi’s ears stayed flat. [And if it is?]

 

Haru put her hand over her heart, “Then he’s already in the best place for doctors to treat him.”

 

Sad-eyed Legosi insisted, [And I want to help him, but what about the school?]

 

Surprisingly, it was Louis who said, “Fuck the school.” 

 

The shock of it made Legosi do a double take. […But you were the one saying this could solve everything!]

 

Louis blew it off, “We’ll solve it another way.”

 

Legosi huffed in disbelief. He signed insistently, [You want justice for Tem!]

 

Louis calmly deflected, “And you don’t?”

 

Legosi stuttered with his fingers, [I… of course I do! I was closer to Tem than anybody else here! I probably did love him! I want him to rest easy! I want him to be alive! But - if it was rebounding off the pills, then Riz isn’t the bad guy! I don’t want to see him thrown in jail for an accident induced by a mind-altering substance! The pills have been killing him already!]

 

On a gradual approach, the deer maintained, “And that’s how I feel…” Utter sincerity was laden in the deer’s features, “You said this was done without malice, but - the way I see it, there was plenty of malice: from whoever forced the bears to take those drugs. Those are the people I want to punish.” Louis moved closer and offered his hand. “I don’t know how to do that yet, and there’s so much going on in the world. But we have plans! We have each other. We talk to Gouhin, see what he thinks, and if it was Riz? Then it’s off the table. We drop the cold case and move on.” 

 

Hesitant and emotional, Legosi gripped the other’s hand at last. Even as Louis got him standing, Legosi still looked like he might cry. [Do you promise?]

 

Louis repeated it in confusion, “Do I promise? …Not to tell on him? …Yes. We can drop it.”

 

Wide-eyed Legosi signed sadly, [Promise? For real? No scheming. And please don’t be mad. I told him I’d help him, Louis. I told Riz I’d help him get through this. I can’t be the one who puts him in jail.]

 

Louis made a distinct point of holding Legosi’s hand and then giving it a kiss. “I promise. And I’m not mad.” A small grin itched at the corners of his mouth. “I know when to choose violence and when to choose compassion. …This is the latter.”

 

Haru inserted herself next to them and tugged on their sleeves, “We can save Cherryton, and we can save Riz - we don’t have to make these exclusive!” The rabbit was looking as incorrigible as ever, “And we can do it the same way we’ve done everything: together. It’s not the easy way. Not the quick solution we might have wanted. But it’s together. Okay?”

 

Legosi sniffled and nodded downwards to her. Then the wolf got down on a knee so he could hug her, too. Louis rubbed at Legosi’s back and whispered the affirmation, “Together… that’s the only way we take on the world…”

 

“…And it’s how we’ll win, too.”

Notes:

So I normally don't do this, but I thought I'd make a special aside: if you haven't seen it yet, Fantasy_escape is writing the most amazing Oguki fic right now. "To Choose a Different Path." https://archiveofourown.org/works/64715335/chapters/166270021

It's thematically similar to Hatch, except Ibuki escaped with baby Louis and ends up raising him with Oguma. So if you liked Hatch, you'll love this. It's one of the best fics I've read it a long time and like all my domestic fluff buttons. It's at 9 of 14 chapters right now, but I completely and overwhelmingly recommend based on what's been written so far. Really, it's just wonderful. So if you can, go give them some love. :)

Chapter 63: A scent on the trail

Summary:

The nose knows more than he lets on

Usually when Legosi sat in Gouhin’s office, it was for therapy purposes. Gouhin was the one in authority, the professional asking questions. Today though, the trio showed up intent on asking HIM questions. 

 

Gouhin knew something was up though. Gosha and Leano still didn’t even want them in the back alleys, but Legosi insisted. Some things just had to be asked in person.

 

They all had the decency to at least wait until the door was closed and Gouhin had a seat. The panda bear made a semi-flippant remark at first, “So is this about a new problem or an old one? Has to be important, right?”

 

The trio exchanged gazes for a quick second, then Louis spoke directly, “We think Riz ate Tem.” His tone wasn’t explicitly impolite, but it was phrased to get a reaction.

 

Annoyingly, the dark around Gouhin’s eyes still made it impossible to gauge much. The bear leaned on the right arm of his chair and blankly replied, “What’s a tem and why does it matter? Is that an allergy? Or is it related to Bloodbone?” 

 

Haru tried to be more diplomatic, “He’s the alpaca from our school who was devoured earlier this year.” She glanced at Legosi and Louis, “We’re pretty sure that Riz is the one responsible. And if he was… then we want to make sure he’s getting help.”

 

Gouhin waited several more seconds, filling the air with uncomfortable silence. “You know what I do here and how I treat people.”

 

“Yes,” Louis agreed. 

 

The bear continued, “And you also know I don’t turn people into the police, so as a matter of practice, I’m going to measure this accusation seriously against your own character - regardless of anything Riz has or hasn’t done. So before I say anything further, I am going to have to interrogate you. Your relationship with the deceased, what you hope to get from this, and lastly: why you even think it could be Riz. If you are unwilling to answer these or fail to answer them to my satisfaction, this conversation will be over and I will never speak of Riz to you again. Do you understand me?”

 

Louis looked like he might be getting ready to argue, but Legosi held out a hand over his chest. With his other hand, Legosi signed firmly, [Yes.]

 

Haru echoed and added, “Yes. We all just want to see him get some help. Helping people is why we wanted to work with you from the beginning. If we’re wrong, great.”

 

Louis spoke with sympathy and concern, “But if we’re not - if Legosi’s investigation isn’t wrong - then… it matters that he gets the right help. And you might be the only one who can give that to him.”

 

A few more seconds passed - as painful as the sharpness of Gouhin’s scrutiny - before the panda gave a grumpy grunt. “Well then. Let’s begin.”

 

So much for Gouhin not being in charge…

 

*

 

It was an awkward thirty minutes, retelling the whole story. Louis had to translate heavily through the part about the investigation, all the little pieces that Legosi put together - all his experiences and findings in the last year. Haru had the least to say, but that was only cause she never knew Tem. She still went over the pictures that the boys didn’t see, the crime scene photos shared by Rokume.

 

Eventually though Gouhin was satisfied, and he finally confirmed what they already figured out “and I’m already helping him.”

 

The emotions they felt then were so mixed. Not quite relief, as they still hated to hear it, but a painful understanding. It was him… and he was getting treatment. It was far from ideal, but it was probably the best they could hope for.

 

Gouhin relaxed back in his chair, crossing one leg over the other. “I’m impressed though. You three figured a lot out without much to go on.”

 

Haru patted the wolf’s arm, “It was mostly Legosi. It was his nose. His brain.”

 

Louis likewise gave him a playful smirk, “Yeah, I was mostly just there to interpret for him.”

 

Legosi sighed cause he knew they were trying to be reassuring, but he wasn’t really in the mood. [And I still wish I was wrong, or that it could have been someone else. …But I can’t be a bystander anymore. Not in all this. And especially not now.] Legosi looked down at his huge hands and wondered some more. [I don’t have the luxury of being uninvolved… which is why I need to talk to you about something else as well. …I think I need to be involved with Bloodbone, too.]

 

Gouhin wasn’t expecting that part… Haru and Louis, only half so.

 

But Legosi sat up straighter in his chair, and he actually felt all the conviction he was used to faking. [I need to be a part of the investigation. I need… to be involved. Not because I think Melon is guilty or that I feel I have to prove something to all the liars out there… I know I can’t change their minds. Not the ones who kidnapped Melon anyway. But… there is a narrative being spun out there. This is the best time - maybe the only time - for someone like me to turn it around.]

 

Legosi took a deep breath and steeled himself, ears high, eyes assured. [I can be that person. And if no one else is ready to do that… then I have to be that person.]

 

Haru and Louis both looked so proud of him in that moment. Gouhin, however, just remained his darkly amused self, shifting in his chair. A deep rumble began growing in Gouhin's chest, and he finally pointed out, “You know you’re gonna have to give that speech to your family, right? Cause I am not taking the heat for this.”

 

Legosi huffed once and deflated. [Of course I am…]

……

Permission was… granted… reluctantly. Gosha and Leano both disliked him getting involved further, but they understood.

 

Legosi could be the star they needed - and it was time to get shining.

 

Legosi put on his black dress clothes over Oguma’s prototype armor. There was probably no need for his sword, but… it still did comfort him to carry it with him.

 

Secure. Capable. Ready for the worst.

 

As the gang drove him to Melon’s home, he pulled on the protective gloves as well. Sure, he wasn’t expecting a fight, but Legosi had the same bad feeling as his grandpa: Madaragumi declared war. Who knows what they’d do next, or when?

 

Ibuki and the rest found no sign of the gumi jaguars anywhere in the back alleys. Their old bases had pretty much been abandoned, and so was the building once occupied by Kopi Luwak. As far as Ibuki could tell, it hadn’t been recent either. They must have bailed before the Bloodbone Disaster.

 

“Maybe they knew it was going to happen - or maybe they just gave up on the market because of Gosha, like we all thought they did.” Still not definitive. It didn’t prove their guilt or association, just their absence. It barely counted as circumstantial.

 

On the other hand, Melon’s old lab could prove far more fruitful in the evidence department. It’d been months since Melon disappeared, but the gang still wanted to see the place for themselves. 

 

The gang was interested in seeing that and his apartment as well. Melon’s family were all eager for answers and were glad to finally get some help. So his mother, Maple, got in touch with Melon’s roommate to coordinate. The bear was supposedly pretty shy, but it wasn’t difficult for Maple to get the gang permission. 

 

The apartment complex wasn’t located that far from the back alleys. It was easier to access meat that way, and Brighid was pretty sure meat was involved in Jumpstart’s formula somehow.

 

So while Legosi was in class, Ibuki and Dope tried to investigate the place for themselves. They took a bunch of photos, but they couldn’t find any evidence of foul play either. There wasn’t even much to take in the way of samples.

 

At least for them, it was way too late… but Legosi’s nose was in a league of its own… and he wanted to pitch in.

 

The lions had been in and out already. Now it was Legosi’s turn.

 

A few of the gang were guarding the door outside Melon’s apartment - a komodo and a lion. They both gave a nodding bow at the sight of Legosi and Louis, and Legosi automatically signed thanks.

 

They let Legosi knock on the door for himself. It wasn’t that long before the door was opened by a black bear - around the size of Riz, but softer and fuzzier. The huge figure was wearing glasses, ragged comfort clothes, and even a robe for bedtime. The bear’s eyes widened up at the sight of them, “W-wow. Uh. It’s really you.”

 

The friendly wolf waved, then offered his gloved hand. As the bear shook it, Louis spoke up, “Good evening! That’s right, this is Legosi the dragon wolf. I’m Louis the red deer. Bogue, right? Maple mentioned you. Melon used to live here?”

 

The black bear, Bogue, winced and nodded. “Y-yes. Uh. Come in?”

 

The bulky beast moved aside and gestured for them to enter. “I’d, uh, prefer you not say that too loudly. The police were already here most of the night… I had reporters outside most of the day, too, until Jonathan showed up with your fellows.”

 

Legosi was casually sniffing from the moment he stepped inside. Most of the apartment looked fairly regular - the usual furniture and picture frames. There were a lot of bookshelves though, and enough books to even give Gouhin a run for his money. There was a couch as well as a fancy writing desk, and manuscripts stacked on top of each other… lots of pens… paper for days…

 

The wolf could smell the ghosts of a dozen individuals in the first room alone. The lions he recognized, and the komodo, but there had also been a rhino, a wildebeest, an eagle, three kinds of dogs… The police had certainly arrived in force after they saw the video on tv.

 

Louis started making small talk, “I’m surprised they didn’t arrest you, too.”

 

The black bear fearfully rubbed at his face, “Ha, ha, oh, uh, they took me in for questioning, yeah. That, uh …wasn’t pleasant. …I’m not very brave.” It sounded like an understatement, too.

 

Legosi took a break from looking around the apartment to face the bear again. The wolf signed, [I’m not very brave either… Are you okay with grandpa’s guards outside? Do you want more? Less?]

 

After Louis interpreted, Bogue gave another awkward laugh. “Uh, well, uh, if Maple and Jonathan hadn’t vouched for them, I wouldn’t be. C-comfortable, I mean. With, with gangsters. But they scared off the reporters and those guys were scary, too. …So many cameras. So, uh… I… I appreciate it?” 

 

Louis added for himself, “Gosha’s men are more willing to get shit done, but my dad has guards, too. If you’d prefer less intimidating doormen, I can wrangle a few from Horns.”

 

The wincing bear shifted and fussed with the folds of his robe, like he almost wanted to hide inside it. “Uh. Ha. Uh. Defeats the purpose, doesn’t it? M-maybe… a little scary is okay right now…”

 

Legosi felt a recurring urge to be comforting, but time was wasting. Legosi pointed down the one hall, then asked, [Can you show us his room and his lab now? I really want to get started.]

 

Bogue got moving in a hurry, “Yeah! Yeah, uh, right this way.”

 

The bear led them past a bathroom and a closet. Bogue’s room was a disheveled mess, even the gargantuan bed with nightstands on both sides. The covers, the curtains, the carpet - it all looked like Bogue hadn’t cleaned in weeks. The same was true for much of the apartment’s communal spaces, like the kitchen and the bathroom. 

 

Melon’s room, however, was a very different story. Melon’s space was almost perfectly organized, put together with care and precision.

 

If their living styles weren’t in such contrast, Legosi might not have noticed all that structure. 

 

Perfectly horizontal posters on the wall. Thin bed in the corner. A bit of sports gear on a rack by a dresser. A tower of old cds and album covers, all neatly arranged. A TV at just the right angle, and even more books! They weren’t even all medical books. The man probably liked to read as much as Ibuki - herbivore fiction, if titles and covers were any indication.

 

Legosi breathed in deep and slowly walked around, hesitant to touch anything quite yet.

 

Even with everyone else who’d visited the apartment, Melon’s scent was so unique. Legosi remembered everything he ever smelled, every person, every species, and Melon was a first among them all. Gazelle and leopard, in the same body, with fur a blend of both… the unique properties that came with those horns…

 

Legosi opened the dresser with his gloves, but it was basically empty. He checked another drawer, but only found a few old things. 

 

Still standing by the doorframe, Bogue commented that, “Most of his clothes disappeared with him. …It’s part of why the cops think he left of his own accord. Packed up. But… I, uh, still had some of them in the laundry room. I put them back in his drawers eventually.”

 

[Good to know, thank you.] Clean or not, Legosi picked up the different articles so he could inhale whatever scent of Melon’s had remained on his clothes.

 

The worried Bogue wondered, “Do you need a plastic bag or something? To carry around his scent?”

 

Legosi readily shook his head. [No.] Fingers drifted along an old undershirt, and held it up toward the bear. [I already have it in my scent vault and I never forget. …But an individual’s scent can change a little depending on circumstances. Time, mood, cleanliness, exertion…] Legosi took out an old basketball jersey and began to sniff that, too. 

 

Louis repeated the old joke for himself, “Legosi has humorously referred to it as having a photographic memory for his nose. We think it’s a hybrid thing.” 

 

Hands in his pockets, Bogue glanced aside like it was almost funny. “Y-yeah, uh, Melon’s nose was crazy good, too. …He, uh, just didn’t go out of his way to sniff things. I think.”

 

Sniff, sniff. Sniff, sniff… [He liked basketball a lot, didn’t he?]

 

The sensitive bear seemed more self-conscious and glanced down. “Oh, he loved it. Was incredible at it, too! When he was on a court, it, he could dance around everybody.” A rare bout of happiness lit up the bear’s face, a glint in the eye paired with a growing smile. “It was so beautiful. Always seemed like he was three moves ahead, and if people got in his way? Heh. He could jump clear over them like it was nothing! He’s amazing.” The memory almost sounded painful now and Bogue’s smile vanished, “No idea how he managed it all…”

 

Legosi put the jersey back as respectfully as possible, then closed the closet. [For a guy who supposedly left on his own… it still seems strange he’d leave all the rest behind.]

 

The black bear huffed and fussed with his robe, curling it in front of him. “Yeah, we’ve been saying that for months… but when the cops decided not to care, we couldn’t convince them otherwise…” Bogue sighed and squeezed his arms in. “And now they finally do care, but only cause they think he poisoned people…”

 

In Louis’ mind, the memory of shooting Yafya was still recent and sharp. The deer idly checked his pocket for his weapon, “We’re familiar with their negligence. That’s part of why we got involved.” Legosi was signing simultaneously, so Louis added, “And Legosi says, ‘we care. And we’re going to find him as soon as possible, one way or another.’”

 

Legosi’s smile was so warm and encouraging, the sensitive bear still had to lower his eyes. Bogue mumbled downwards, “It’d be really nice if that was true…”

 

The wolf made a point of striding slowly towards the big black bear, and giving him the gentlest touch against his shoulder. Legosi gave him a big thumbs up and an even bigger smile. [We’re on the case! Grandpa and everybody. And if we can bring him back to you, then that’s what we’re going to do. …Can we see that lab now?]

 

Bogue’s timid heart was made to flutter. The black bear nodded meekly and pointed further down the hall.

 

*

 

The lab was the last room and hardly felt like it belonged in an apartment at all. Legosi didn’t have names for half the machines he saw. Several places on countertops were empty and bare, like a device had sat there and been recently confiscated by the cops.

 

Judging by the ambient scents, Legosi could tell that Bogue had barely entered this room in months. Almost every scent was fresh, appearing in the last day - people Legosi already smelled from the first room and hallway.

 

Louis moved like he was going to follow, but Legosi held out an arm. [Wait. Please. The less, the better.]

 

The deer understood and nodded. “You got it.”

 

Louis even closed the door so it was all Legosi.

 

No pressure, right?

 

Legosi closed his eyes for just a moment and tried to focus on the air. There were scents he could disregard immediately, and other traces to question. His scent vault made that easier, but it was entirely a matter of degrees.

 

What he was so used to doing automatically, he had to do on purpose. Ignore the recent scents. Ignore Bogue. Focus on the small and the faint…

 

The wolf inhaled deep through his nose, and walked as slowly as possible. How impossibly slight could a scent be, that many months ago. How many of them would be important?

 

The cops back then probably phoned in their own work, if they put any effort at all. Would they have even bothered to use chemicals back then? Legosi certainly smelled the recent ones employed in their investigation - powders, sprays… Several chemicals, Legosi had no comparison for and could only make assumptions about their purpose or origin… 

 

That was… not actually helpful…

 

The wolf began to grimace at a sudden sense of pointlessness. He so wanted to solve everything right here and almost assumed it would be easy.

 

I’ll just use my nose. I got the best nose. That’s all I have to do, just sniff!

 

Stupid, stupid, stupid!!

 

Legosi huffed hard and began checking devices with his gloved hands. A few he could open up, others he could lift. He checked the power cords to a few, but didn’t want to unplug anything.

 

There were cabinets and drawers, and he bent down low to inspect those. The cops must have raided them as well - or maybe they were empty when Melon was kidnapped. Either way, it all seemed a wasteful endeavor.

 

I have to do something. I have to.

 

Come on, Legosi, think! He vanished overnight! His clothes were all packed up. His research vanished, too. If he’d been working on the taste problem for any amount of time, he must have had a ton of documents, materials, versions and variants - and somehow they all up and disappeared. In one night.

 

That’s… a lot of stuff. But they left a lot, too! Random shit from his room, from the living room, they missed the laundry room… They must have been working fast, but still: they only took SO much…

 

Let’s say that the police were right and there WAS no sign of foul play: that means no breaking and entering. They’d have to get in somehow that wouldn’t raise any red flags, so no shattered glass or forced locks. No sign of a struggle either.

 

If they captured Melon elsewhere, they’d have access to his house key. They wouldn’t need to break the door. The biggest issue would then just be time and leaving without a lot of people noticing them.

 

I hate to jump to conclusions, but… if we can assume it WAS an army of bats… that’s a lot of hands and eyes. They would have been able to scrounge through his materials fast, find out what was important - even be able to pack up his clothes like he was going on an unplanned vacation!

 

If they were all jaguars, they would have made more of a mess, taken longer.  They’d be able to grab things and run, but I’d assume they’d leave more evidence in their wake. Fur. Dandruff or something. Lots of bats have fur. Do bats have dandruff? Cop shows talk a lot about fibers, and sure, I can smell that stuff, too…

 

But it’s been months… Arggghhhh… Fuck.

 

Legosi scratched aggressively at his head.

 

It keeps coming back to time. We just didn’t hear about this soon enough! If the cops actually did their jobs back then, we wouldn’t be in this mess!!

 

Come on, Legosi! Think!

 

Trace evidence.

 

If I was going to BE trace evidence from an army of bats or a bunch of jaguars, then I would be…

 

Legosi had to search the room again. He even got down on his hands and knees, sniffing at invisible footprints and visible table legs. He shifted a few desks and tables, wondering if he might get lucky. Maybe a hair got trapped underneath one of the legs? A single hair? Would that be too much to ask?

 

The first table, no. Second? Nope. Shift a desk, maybe! Momentary joy as he found a fiber and sniffed it for all he was worth - but it was just a strand off a cop’s uniform.

 

Legosi sighed deeper. 

 

Once upon a time, this was supposed to be a sterile lab. 

 

It’d been months since Melon used this place, and Bogue hadn’t used it either so-

 

Lupine ears flicked upwards.

 

No one in here.

 

Minimal presence.

 

I know the scent of every cop who was in here, Melon and Bogue.

 

Legosi jumped over to a machine he’d seen in the corner. He had to verify it was what he thought it was, then his tail wagged faster.

 

Maybe. Maybe! Hopefully. Hnnngh.

 

Excitedly, Legosi ran back out of the lab, where Louis and Bogue had been making small talk. They both startled at the wolf, who rapidly began signing. 

 

Louis was a bit more confused as he relayed the message, “Legosi said there’s an … air cleaner in the room. And he saw another in the living room. Do you remember when the filters were last changed?”

 

The black bear was more than a little taken aback by the wolf’s enthusiasm. “The filters? Um.” Bogue’s heart was just a little too tender for all that energy, “Uh. I. I don’t. Um.” The bear’s jaw hung open for a moment. “I don’t actually know? Melon used to take care of that.”

 

Legosi signed while seemingly sensing victory, [But you haven’t??!]

 

The giant Bogue leaned back and almost squeaked, “No?? Sorry. I, I know, I really should replace those like, w-what, every month or s-so, but I, I get distracted in my work. A lot, a lot’s been going on, I was upset, and, why are you dancing?”

 

The wolf would have been making happy noises if only he had a voice. He had to settle with the rapid wag of his tail and an even quicker series of signs, that Louis struggled following and needed him to repeat. 

 

Louis awkwardly relayed, “Do you have some sterile, unused garbage bags we can use to transport your air cleaners? Because with Legosi’s nose, the state of your air filters might… actually tell us who kidnapped Melon.”

 

The bear nearly screamed, “What?!!”

……

Oguma wanted to be supportive, but this stretched his sense of belief too far. “There is no chance this will work.”

 

Louis insisted while crossing his arms, “He can do it.”

 

Certain laboratories endeavor to render rooms as scent-neutral as possible. All manner of research needs to be conducted in sterile environments, and making a place scent-neutral offered another angle of accuracy. With Oguma’s connections, employees and finances, locating such a lab was easy. If they needed, they could have just bought off an hour or two of someone else’s time, no problem. 

 

However that was unnecessary today, as Horns had a wide variety of its own research and development programs. It was how Oguma could provide such prototype equipment to Gosha’s gumis.

 

They wanted to do this fast, before Madaragumi could take things any further. If Melon really was a prisoner, then every second counted. So now, on the other side of a glass wall, Legosi was undergoing a chemical de-scenting process for any advantage he could get. But still… 

 

Oguma stared back and forth between Louis and his son’s boyfriend on the other side. “Louis, it’s dust - several months old at that, stuck in a dirty apartment filter for all that time. There is no possible way anyone, even a wolf, could determine a single night’s visitors from half a year prior.”

 

The young deer grumbled to himself, arms tighter on his chest. “And if it was anyone else, I’d agree with you. But Legosi isn’t like anyone else - and we’re already out of time. If there’s even a chance this could work-”

 

“But there’s not,” Oguma warned.

 

Louis complained, “I’ll pay for the room myself if you want.”

 

“I don’t,” the older stag relented. “Money is not the issue right now, Louis.” Oguma wrestled with his own thoughts and how to phrase the worry behind it. “…Are you not concerned that this will end in failure? I know you two are desperate to help, but… statistically speaking, I fear you are only setting yourself up for greater disappointment.”

 

Just like his father, Louis struggled with communicating all the feelings he had inside. “I know that. But…” The young deer breathed out and glanced aside. “Everyone is doing what they can. Everyone is trying to help, in the ways that they can help. That won’t look the same. You did your part. I’ve been doing mine. Haru is doing everything and then some, and she’s constantly looking to do more! And this… is a way that maybe only he can help. So I have to let him try. …Even if it doesn’t work… it matters, dad… that he’s trying…”

 

Oguma and Louis stayed side by side for a long time after that, just watching things proceed on the other side of the glass.

 

Letting him try… was the least Oguma could do as well…

……

It was the grunting that caught the young jaguar’s attention. The teenage feline was supposed to just be watching the dimly-lit hall, but his superior left to grab a quick bite of something. He said he was starving.

 

Guarding some underground prison was already pushing the young cat’s limits - but if you want to get in good with a gumi, sometimes you gotta do shit work.

 

Pity all they gave him was a stun gun. He was really hoping for something cooler, with real bullets! At least the old-timey knife was kinda neat, and the robe was pretty fashionable - in a nostalgic, traditional sort of way…

 

Though when the grunting didn’t stop after a few minutes, and his superior still wasn’t back, the young jaguar started to worry. He padded his way closer to the cell door, ears alert and eyes wide. His mouth started to open, wondering if he should call out, but he kept quiet.

 

Pace by pace, the cat moved nearer, until at last he could peer around the door’s edge. Prison bars made it easy to see the hybrid inside, and what Melon was doing. 

 

Grunting? Yeah, cause he was exercising. 

 

Aside from the door, it was more like a small converted apartment than a proper prison cell. The place wasn’t equipped with much - just a bed and bathroom and a desk to work at. Pens, some books, a dresser for clothing…

 

No windows, sadly. But Melon still had enough space to run through a series of calisthenics - currently supporting most of his body weight on his arms. He was wearing boxers and a tanktop, the latter partially marred by sweat. Even after the last few months, Melon had the body of a pro-basketball player, lean but muscular… 

 

…the wonders of a proper diet and healthy exercise, overseen by a loving PE teacher… 

 

He wasn’t that tall, mind you, but didn’t need to be. His genetics gave him different advantages. Corded, springy legs like his could jump clear over a crowd. He was hitting slam dunks before he was even in high school.

 

He had horns now, too, that he was older. His tail though was closer to feline, and his jaws had been getting bigger since he started eating meat. An array of spots adorned his cheeks like freckles. Even more spots ran down his neck, sides, and arms, the muscles of which had developed a small pump. 

 

He’d been at his exercise regimen long enough that his tongue was hanging out of his fanged mouth. There was even a small grin on Melon’s face, and a mischievous sparkle in the eyes - and that was when the jaguar realized he’d been spotted (pun not intended).

 

Melon did a gratuitous handstand push-up that bordered on the lewd, shirt falling low to bare his midriff. “Come for the free show, yeah?~”

 

Gumi jaguars are not supposed to get embarrassed. The young guard did. He promptly forced a growl and tried to sound in control, “Prepping for your escape?”

 

The hybrid scoffed and gracefully planted himself back on his feet, “Please, I’m having a blast!~ Free room and board, plenty of research funding, and isolation from any distractions and all my loved ones. Why would I want to escape?” The sweaty hybrid fanned himself with the front of his shirt and shrugged.

 

The jaguar frowned at him, hand tighter on his weapon. “Was that sarcasm?”

 

“Uh, yeah? Yeah, it was.” Melon rubbed a bit of sweat from his brow, then rolled his right arm. “I’m trying to work out, genius, with no equipment or a track to run on. Keeps me healthy. What, you new here?”

 

The young jaguar complained, “No!” Which only further cemented his child-like vibe and made Melon want to laugh, “Wooow. You need to work on your stories, kid.”

 

Indignant, the jaguar teen banged the barred door, “Hey! I don’t need advice from you! I’m not the freak in a cell.”

 

Unafraid, Melon snickered and strutted a little closer to the door, “Yeah, uh, about that? It’s a good news, bad news situation for you, kid.” Melon traced a finger up and down one of the bars, “It ain’t these bars holding me - but you don’t have to worry about me escaping. So chill, sit back, you’re just wasting your time.” 

 

The jaguar kept rumbling grumpily and leaned away. He held the stun gun aggressively forward, “I do what they tell me! And you should, too!” 

 

“Uh, I am, dude?” Still the hybrid seemed unconcerned and light-hearted. Melon wrapped his hand around one bar and ran it up and down, “Your bosses made it clear I have to work for them. I work for them, they don’t kill my family… I have this terrible, horrendous problem where I actually like my family. I know, right?? Shocking! In this day and age? Who does that??” Melon laughed at his own little joke, held onto the bars and leaned back with the pull of gravity. “That’s what I was trying to tell you, my little gummy gangster! It’s not the bars keeping me here; it’s my own bleeding heart and my love for my loved ones!”

 

The young jaguar stood still for a moment, thinking about that. His eyes began to relax and so too did the hand holding his weapon. “You’re making Bloodbone… to protect your family?”

 

Tongue loose, Melon smirked, “Oh, right, that’s what they call it. Uh, yeah. Your bosses all loved my formulas!” He hung on the bars, swinging to the left and the right. “I already designed Jumpstart to ease hybrids onto meat! Make it a lighter, happier experience! It’s how I turned my life around. Fixed my taste buds! I just added a few extra bits, courtesy of your illegal drug trade, and bang! Your gumi gets a carnivore party drug! Revel in the meat! Have yourself a bloody orgy with none of the post-nut clarity! You’re welcome!”

 

The teenage feline huffed like it was hilarious. “Oh, no way. You think that’s Bloodbone?”

 

Melon rolled his eyes, “That is Bloodbone, little man! I know what my drug does.” The hybrid tried to be a little sultry, lifting his shirt and sliding his hands down his core, “I know I’ve got this sleek pro-athlete exterior, but that’s just cause I needed the scholarships! Heh! My dad’s a gym teacher!” Melon tapped his horned noggin, “And now I’m a doctor, licensed and everything! Nobody knows my shit better than me. …Damn I miss playing ball. I haven’t touched a court in ages. I have got such a case of cabin fever in here. Ugh. I want to jump.”

 

The jaguar laughed in mockery, “Oh, that’s too rich. They got you good.”

 

That got Melon to frown. Melon leaned right up against the bars, “Whatcha talk about, Willis?”

 

The vengeful jaguar bragged about it, “Bloodbone drives people crazy! Makes carnivores go feral and chomp down on anybody and everybody! The whole city’s freaking out about it. Dozens dead. That’s your Bloodbone - and everybody knows you made it.” The jaguar held his weapon towards the prisoner, “You’re the most wanted man in the city right now! So if I were you, I’d lose the attitude and be grateful we haven’t turned you in for the reward money!”

 

Melon’s eyes narrowed like a feline on alert, then began glancing rapidly in different directions. A million new thoughts and ideas were all racing into view. “You’re fucking with me.” His long ears were falling lower. “Bloodbone can’t do that - not the way I designed it. It’s a party drug. I only made a party drug!”

 

The young jaguar made a point of laughing even louder. “You’re a freak, dude! The worst mad scientist of our generation!” 

 

From down the hall, another jaguar yelled, “Chad! What are you doing??”

 

The young jaguar perked up, still smirking, but he gave a quick salute, “Putting the prisoner in his place, sir! He was acting up!” The jaguar banged his weapon against the bars, but Melon ducked back before contact and fell onto the floor. 

 

The older jaguar was clearly one of the gumi elites, wearing two swords with his robe. He grabbed the younger’s arm and pulled him away, “And you’re supposed to be guarding the hall, not talking to him!”

 

That wiped the smirk off his face. Chad weakened significantly, “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir. I, I thought he was trying to break out.”

 

The old gangster huffed and glared through the cell bars, “And do you have any reason to escape, half-breed??”

 

Melon looked up from the floor, tension in his eyes and shoulders. Clawed hands scratched lightly at the ground. “…No. I don’t.”

 

The old jaguar snorted, “That’s right. Now chill out and stop fucking with your betters.” He promptly began walking toward the hall’s one exit, dragging the younger cat with him. “And you need to shut up, too, Chad. You want to live long, learn to keep your mouth shut!”

 

Chad only managed a somber, “Yes, sir. Sorry, sir,” then glued his eyes to the floor.

 

Behind them, as slow as could be, Melon finally rose up from the ground, and leaned against the bars once more.