Work Text:
William Graham
“Professor” at the FBI academy
Level of difficulty: 4.5
Student ratings:
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 4.5
Comment: I’m not sure if this guy is actually a professor or an FBI agent? He also never told us what to call him, but he never acknowledges us anyway. Like he walks in, starts talking, gets really into it, then leaves, and everyone in the room is wondering if we all saw that. Or was it some collective hallucination? He doesn’t have office hours or an email address, I’m not sure he exists outside the classroom.
Quality: 3
Difficulty: 3
Comment: This guy is obsessed with the chesapeake ripper, like it’s almost weird. I know it’s technically what we’re supposed to be studying but can’t we focus on anyone else for one day?
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 5
Comment: It’s hard to take this class seriously when the teacher is constantly being called away on work and letting class go early. Seriously, every week. It was fun at first but now I want to learn :(
Quality 3.5
Difficulty: 4
Comment: Does Mr. Graham remind anyone else of the prince from the movie ella enchanted? It’s not just me, right?!
Quality: 5
Difficulty: 5
Comment: Where is he???
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 4
Comment: This man is so attractive it is hard to focus sometimes. Boy am I glad this is anonymous.
Quality: 3
Difficulty: 4.5
Comment: There’s this old guy who just hangs around the back of class a lot and Mr. Graham always gets distracted by him and lets us out early. Thank you random old guy!!!
Quality: 2
Difficulty: 5
Comment: One time I was ten minutes late and by the time I got there the whole place was empty and I couldn’t ask Graham what happened because he doesn’t have an email address…
Quality: 1
Difficulty: N/A
Comment: DO NOT TAKE THIS CLASS IF YOU ARE ALLERGIC TO DOGS!!!! I don’t know how he would smuggle a dog into class but my watery eyes can only be traced to this class!! I had to find a new class two weeks in!
Quality: 5
Difficulty: 3
Comment: This guy’s class is super entertaining but only because he acts like he’s in love with all the serial killers we cover. I thought it was a joke at first but when he actually swooned at an image of a murder by the chesapeake ripper I don’t know anymore
Quality: 5
Difficulty: 3
Comment: One time I saw Will outside of class and he almost ran into speeding traffic to avoid me. I was just flattered he recognized me.
Quality: 3.5
Difficulty: 3.5
Comment: He talks at us like he’s recording himself and one time he actually jumped when someone said something. Also he doesn’t like answering questions.
Quality: 4.5
Difficulty: 3
Comment: I’ve been to maybe an hour of this class in total?? He always lets class out early lol. I’m not complaining
Quality: 3
Difficulty: 3
Comment: I came back after class because I forgot something and Will was just standing in front of the room looking at his shoes and muttering to himself and didn’t even notice me there.
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 4
Comment: If you’re very still around Will and speak very softly he might show you pictures of his dogs but you have to be really polite about it and not crowd him. He has like 7 so it’s totally worth it though
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 5
Comment: His friend Dr. Lector comes by a lot. Like a lot a lot. Someone asked Will if he was married and he blushed and said that wasn’t a very school appropriate question. Okay mr. i love serial killers and talk about them all day
Quality: 5
Difficulty: 5
Comment: I like Mr. Graham, I really do, but sometimes he gets stuck on one topic, like the chesapeake ripper? He’s obsessed. I would love to know the backstory there
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 2
Comment: This man looks like he was dressed by rats and crawled out of a sewer right into the classroom but he always has the most extra lunch? Like tentacles and tongue? Where TF do you even get tongue?
Quality: 5
Difficulty: 5
Comment: my mind on the first day of class: Oh no he’s hot!!!
Quality: 1
Difficulty: 5
Comment: I have always been a teacher’s pet and yes, I am a master at sucking up to teachers but William here is impossible!! I read on here that he has dogs so I brought him some dog treats but he turned them down because he only gives homemade food to his dogs. This man looks like he hasn’t showered in a week! What do I do with these treats now? I don’t have a dog?
Quality: 3
Difficulty: 3
Comment: One time I walked in on him making out with the old guy who hangs around the back of the lecture sometimes and ran away but nobody believes me and I am way too scared to ask about it. And he doesn’t like eye contact, and every time I try to make eye contact all I can see is him making out with that guy and my face gets all red so the whole class is like playing pong with our eyeballs trying to avoid each other.
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 3
Comment: The class itself is fine, I just wish he would share the food he brings in!! This dude looks like he eats gas station sandwiches for all three meals of the day but eats sushi with chopsticks and has like, a special soup bowl with a special lid? I didn’t even know they had those!
Quality: 3
Difficulty: 3
Comment: He just disappeared for like two weeks and didn’t offer any explanation when he came back? Is he okay? The class is fine though. Is he??
Quality: 4
Difficulty: 4
Comment: Who is that guy who hangs around the back until the end? He’s like an old guy but like, really attractive for his age? Does anyone know how I could contact him? He’s giving off sugar daddy vibes and my rent is due soon lol
Quality: 3
Difficulty: 5
Comment: I know more about the chesapeake ripper than anything else because of this class. There wasn’t even a test on it, I think Will just likes him…