Chapter Text
Shouto drifts.
It’s not so much that UA is boring. It’s not. He’s only been a student here for a few weeks and it’s already been absolutely wild (in the sense that everyone is loud and the classes are high intensity and he wants to take multiple naps a day).
Endeavour (or “that fucker” as Shouto likes to affectionately refer to him when he isn’t in the room just in case he can read Shouto’s thoughts) is away most of the time doing Hero Things which means Shouto has basically got the whole house to himself.
He had convinced (read: mentioned it twice which in Shouto speak is extreme nagging) Fuyumi that she should move in with her loving boyfriend since he was now at UA and therefore wouldn’t be home much anyway.
Fuyumi had dithered for the first week he had started at UA during which Shouto made sure to stay at school as late as possible and leave as early as he could in the morning. A few evenings he had even spent a few hours aimlessly and mostly unseeingly wandering the city to eat up time and convince Fuyumi that he was so so so busy, really Fuyumi so busy, and therefore she shouldn’t feel guilty about moving out and leaving him because they would barely see each other anyway.
He knew it wouldn’t have worked if Fuyumi hadn’t wanted to move out but she did. Fuyumi may take martyrdom to a new level but she wanted to leave their mausoleum of a house as badly as any sane person so after a week of spending barely an hour a day with Shouto she was convinced. She barely had anything to pack anyway, most of her stuff was already at said boyfriend’s house.
Shouto had never met the aforementioned boyfriend but he’s sure he must be a nice guy. Fuymi seems to like him anyway.
So yes. Now it’s just Shouto in the huge house that’s empty around six days of the week (if he’s lucky) and seven out of seven days if he’s really lucky and villain activity is particularly vicious. That fucker isn’t training him anymore because UA is doing it and overall Shouto can say that life is good.
He spends a lot of his time drifting. The old TV in the house doesn’t have many channels but it’s easy to put on and zone out to. He’s also getting way more sleep nowadays which is nice.
He doesn’t even think that fucker has realised Fuyumi had moved out.
So yes, life for Shouto Todoroki is as good as it could be at this present moment in time. UA is a lot of effort sure but it’s not more so than he thought it would be before he started and he has lots of free time to study considering he has approximately nothing going on in his life apart from school, sleep and occasionally watching TV.
Life is (at least) much much better than it used to be.
*
Shouto picked at his lunch with vague enthusiasm. The food at school was good and considering Shouto didn’t know how to cook and he was currently for all intents and purposes living alone, it was nice to get a ready-made cooked meal one a day.
Yaoyorozu was sitting to his left talking to Jirou. Shouto tended to sit with Yaoyorozu at lunch. Mostly because he hadn’t had a single substantive conversation with anyone else in the class (or the entire school if one was being precise). Occasionally people did try to talk to him but Shouto was self-aware enough to recognise that he was socially stunted to the point where regular small talk felt like a herculean task.
He mostly responded with one work answers until they stopped.
It wasn’t that he was trying to be unfriendly. He just really wasn’t sure what people wanted to hear. Besides, a lot of what people asked about tended to revolve around that fucker and Shouto felt like he could be forgiven for letting the conversations die.
He likes sitting with Yaoyorozu because she has a very calming presence and has gotten used to him by now to the point where she doesn’t even try to start conversations. Besides she also always answers Shouto’s questions and is very nice about the fact that he really feels like he’s exposed himself as knowing nothing about anything.
So yes. Lunch. Today it’s some kind of fried rice and Shouto feels gently pleased at the fact. Lunch Rush does a very good fried rice.
He’s zoning out as usual and not paying attention to anything until he hears someone on another table say: “blue flames”.
Shouto unconsciously tunes into that conversation. It’s a few of the general course students sitting on an adjacent table.
“Defs the blue flames guy. He was my fave back in the day.”
“No way man! What about the bird vigilante? He was sick!”
“I don’t know, I have to agree that the blue fire guy was cool. He’s kinda dropped off the grid now though.”
“Yeah, but you know what they say about vigilantes. Burn bright but then fade fast.”
“Dramatic.”
“Hey! You know it’s true! They don’t have hero backup and gear. It’s a sad fact of life.”
“Damn, shame though.”
Shouto frowns to himself. Blue flame vigilante.
Fire quirks aren’t popular. In fact, they’re exceedingly rare. Shouto can say with some confidence that he’s related in some way to most of the people with flame quirks in Japan. And blue flames… that fucker can do blue flames. Shouto can on a small scale at a push. No one else that he’s aware of can… except Touya.
But Touya is dead. His body burnt to ashes (at least that’s what Natsuo had been screaming about three New Years ago before he had refused to come to any more family meals) and he’s not coming back.
But still… the thought niggles at Shouto. He never knew Touya well. He was separated from his siblings from the moment his quirk presented but… Touya had blue flames. Touya only had blue flames.
Maybe Touya had a secret child before he died?
This will require further investigating.
Shouto gets up, abandoning his fried rice for now, and makes him way to the table of general course students.
He’s aware that they’ve stopped talking as they notice and watch his approach. Shouto is used to people stopping talking when he’s around so he doesn’t take it personally.
“Hello.” Shouto is aware that it’s good to ease into social interactions with a greeting. He says his hello and then realises he can’t be bothered to listen to their replies. He’s got bigger fish to fry. He takes a seat at their table.
“You were talking about someone with blue flames.” Shouto fixes his eyes on each of the student in turn. He’s been told before he has a vaguely unsettling stare so he tries to soften it slightly.
“Um… yeah. Uh, Todoroki right?” The loud one who had been talking about the blue flamed vigilante being his favourite speaks up.
“Yes.” Todoroki knows they know who he is. Most people know who he is. It is what it is. “The blue flames?”
The students on the table exchange a look.
“Uh listen. We weren’t trying to offend you or anything…”
Shouto feels honestly puzzled. “Why would I be offended?” He asks. People can be very strange sometimes. “Can you tell me more about the blue flames?”
Another look is shared and Shouto is once more reminded about why he tends to avoid conversation.
“Ok. Well, there was this vigilante a few years back. Never had an official name or anything really, super mysterious vibes, but they used blue flames and they were super badass. Used to target child abusers and rapists I think.” The student seems to be picking up steam and enthusiasm as they speak, “Honestly my favourite vigilante before they dropped off the scene.”
“And the flames?” Todoroki prompts.
“Oh yeah! That was their signature, like super bright blue flames. Super-hot too! Like cremation level hot!”
Shouto considers it. “Like this?” He holds up his hand and concentrates. He never uses his fire but he’s been drilled enough by that fucker that he can do this much. He narrows his focus down to the flame and drives it hotter and hotter until it burns blue around his hand.
The general course students watch eyes wide and mouths slightly open.
“Holy shit! Oh fuck! Um, yeah! That’s exactly it.” One of the sounds vaguely strangled.
Shouto hums and puts out the flame. He rests his chin on his hands.
“Where can I find out more about this vigilante?”
“Oh, there are loads of forums. But he was pretty popular back then so if you go onto any one of the big vigilante forums and look up “blue flames” you should be able to find stuff.” The student is looking at him kind of curiously now. “Um, do you know him or something?”
Shouto shrugs. “I don’t know.” He replies before getting up to walk away. Belatedly he realises he should have thanked them and turns back to say a quick, “Thank you.” before returning to his meal.
Yaoyorozu isn’t the only one staring at him he realises as he starts to eat again. He shouldn’t have used his quirk in the dining hall. There are rules against that. Shouto sighs to himself. Hopefully no one else saw.
He resolves to buy a laptop on the way home.
*
Afternoon classes are even more boring than usual considering Shouto has something on his mind. If the blue flamed vigilante isn’t Touya then it’s someone related to Touya or someone related to Shouto in some way. It’s kind of exciting to have a conspiracy theory to run his mind over.
After class Shouto grabs his stuff and high tails it out of the door as fast as he can. He’s on a mission now.
One trip to an electronics store and one swipe of that fucker’s credit card later and Shouto has his brand-new laptop. Connecting the laptop to the internet takes a bit of time and he has to deal with the language settings and everything but he pushes through and is finally rewarded with a fully functional search engine front page.
Shouto looks up “Vigilante forum” and picks the first option. He quickly makes an account and finally he’s through.
A quick search and the general course student was right. There is tons on this blue flamed vigilante. According to the threads the guy (and it is a male) had gone missing from the scene for about a year and a half. People don’t think he’s dead though. Apparently, he’s skilled and would be hard to take down.
There’s a grainy video on one of the posts and Shouto watches it with a strange cocktail of emotions crawling through his veins. It’s hard to take in small details but the lanky body executes a spinning kick that looks very similar to what Shouto himself had learnt to do. Then the flames appear, blasting out of the figure’s hand, absolutely breath-taking in their intensity. The entire screen is taken up by the familiar blue flames.
Shouto’s breath catches.
He pauses the video and zooms in on the figure as much as he can. He can see spiky black hair and not much else. The figure is dressed all in black and has some kind of black mask covering the bottom half of their face. Shouto squints. Is there any way of making the video clearer?
He googles it and finds a website where if he fed a picture into it it could de-pixelate it. Shouto doesn’t have a picture.
He googles “how to make a video a picture” and learns about screenshots.
He takes a screenshot and feeds that into the website.
The resulting picture isn’t much clearer. But still. Every little helps.
The figure is tall and lanky. They’re wearing a black sweatshirt (?) and black trousers and black shoes. Their hair is black and their skin looks strangely… purple? But not entirely. Maybe they have a rash?
Shouto takes his laptop with the photo and goes to Touya’s shrine. The photo on the shrine is from his first year in middle school. Touya has white hair and a blank expression. He doesn’t have black hair or a purple rash.
Though, Shouto concedes to himself, hair dye and allergies are both things that exist. A rash can develop over ten years.
Ten years is a very long time. It's more than half his current age.
Shouto feels like he needs to lie down.
He puts the laptop to the side and lies down next to the shrine. His head feels like it’s buzzing a little. Could Touya be alive?
Shouto can easily admit that his thought process can often be a little disjointed and not make much sense, however in this case he doesn’t feel like he’s reaching. He feels like he might be onto something here.
Shouto lies there next to Touya’s shrine until it’s completely dark outside. He’s not hungry enough for dinner so he just goes to bed.
*
The next morning while Shouto eats a yoghurt for breakfast he stares at the photo of the vigilante.
The thing is Shouto never even knew Touya well. He was five when Touya died. He barely has any memories of his oldest brother.
Shouto frowns to himself.
He doesn’t even know why he cares so much about this. It wasn’t as though he and Touya were particularly close. They really didn’t even know each other.
But Shouto has so few people in the world that he (rather desperately) wants another one.
What he needs, Shouto concludes, is another opinion. He needs someone who knew Touya well to listen to his theory. The problem is that he really doesn’t know who to ask. That fucker is out for obvious reasons (mostly Shouto’s dislike of spending any more time than absolutely necessary with him). He could ask Fuyumi, but she might try and move back in. Or cry. Shouto doesn’t know what she’d do in all honesty. But he feels like if he talks to her about anything other than how incredibly tiring school is she might move back in which is not what he wants.
That leaves Natsuo by process of elimination. (His mother is out for further obvious reasons. Shouto doesn’t know what he’d say to her normally, let alone going to see her about Touya.)
Shouto has never talked to Natsuo causally before. He can’t remember ever having initiated a conversation with Natsuo.
Natsuo is currently at university studying to be a doctor. He’s moved out and has his own life so is unlikely to bother Shouto beyond this conversation if Shouto does talk to him. He was also close to Touya. Both are good reasons.
Shouto ponders his dilemma as he makes his way to school. He ponders his dilemma as he sits in English. He ponders his dilemma at lunch.
In Maths the teacher pairs him and Kaminari together. Kaminari is loud and can be annoying but he also seems good at talking to people. Shouto decides that since he isn’t getting any better at working through his dilemma himself, he may as well outsource it.
They’re doing something boring involving brackets when he cuts through Kaminari’s near constant chatter (that’s something he appreciates about Kaminari. He talks near constantly and expects no replies).
“Kaminari.”
The boy looks up from his worksheet. “Whazzup?”
Shouto decides to just launch straight into it. “I’m trying to decide whether or not to ask someone for help. But it is a very delicate matter and I’m not sure if I should do it or not.”
Kaminari pauses mouth hanging open for a second and hand gripping his pen. “Dude! Are you asking me for advice?”
“Yes.” Shotuo says rather decisively. That’s what he needs. Advice.
“Wow dude! Thanks! Okay great! Yeah I am totally down to help you with this!” Kaminari abandons his work sheet. “Okay. Give me the facts nice and slow.”
Shouto blinks. He doesn’t think he should give Kaminari all the deep secrets about his family trauma so he settles for the bare bones. “I need to ask someone who I am not really close with to verify the potential identity of another person. However, doing so may bring up bad memories.”
“Hmmm.” Kaminari taps his lip thoughtfully with his pen, “Is this hero type stuff?”
Shouto thinks it over, “In a way it’s related.” He concedes. The Todoroki’s are a hero family and vigilante stuff is technically hero business.
“Ok. So you’re worried about the person who you’re asking’s reaction right?”
“Yes.”
Kaminari nods and then tears a page out of his messy notebook and writes a large PROS on one side and CONS on the other.
“Ok, we just gotta weigh it up then.”
Shouto blinks but goes along with it.
“Ok, so how important is it that you get this person’s identity verified?”
“Very.”
“Ok, and how bad are the memories that are gonna be dragged up?”
“Very bad.”
“Right. We’re at a bit of a stalemate here. Well… how much do you care if this person gets mad and never speaks to you again?”
Shouto thinks about it. He doesn’t speak to Natsuo anyway. “It wouldn’t change my life very much.”
“Ok. And what happens if you don’t find out this person’s identity?”
“Not much.” Shouto refrains from saying. That isn’t strictly true anyway. He could (maybe) gain a new family member and this once might really like him and want to spend time with him. If anyone could understand him it’s Touya, he was also trained by that fucker. If Shouto could talk to anyone it would theoretically be Touya. Suddenly his throat feels a little clogged up. Suddenly it feels extremely important to know if this person is Touya.
“It is important to me that this person’s identity is confirmed.” Shouto says. His voice must be a little shaky because Kaminari gives him a look but doesn’t comment on it. Shouto decides he quite likes Kaminari.
“Okay well. Looking at this list I’m gonna say that you should talk to this person.” Kaminari shrugs, “I mean it seems important. Like obviously you gotta be sensitive to that person’s feelings but it doesn’t really matter if they hate you cuz you don’t have to see them ever again.”
“How do I be sensitive to their feelings?” Asks Shouto. His chest no longer feels tight and achy thank goodness.
“Ah well. Maybe you could say something like, ‘Hey, I know this is not easy to hear and I don’t want to upset you but this is very important.’ Like something like that. Try and make sure they know you aren’t trying to drag up bad memories and that this is really important.”
“Could you write that down?” Shouto asks. He’s not sure he’d be able to remember that on his own.
Kaminari gives him another look but obligingly flips the pros and cons list over and jots down what he just said.
“Seriously dude. Don’t worry about it. If it’s important to you it’s always better to know right?”
“Yes. Maybe.” Shouto isn’t very sure if it is better to know in this situation but he recognises that finding out if Touya is actually alive or not is quite important.
“There.” Kaminari passes him the piece of paper. “You gotta let me know how it goes man!”
Shouto nods, “Thank you. I will.” He hesitates. “Do you mind keeping this between us for now. I do not know how this will all go.”
Kaminari’s eyes widen, “Yeah sure dude! Damn, must be some serious stuff.”
“Yes.” Is all Shouto says in response. Kaminari looks as though he’s about to ask another question but thankfully the teacher tells them time is up and they have to hand in their worksheets. Shouto and Kaminari have done approximately one question but it doesn’t matter.
Later when Shouto goes home the paper that Kaminari gave him feels heavy in his pocket. It feels important and scary for being so. He feels slightly apprehensive. He’s going to talk to Natsuo but he doesn’t really know how. Should he call him? What if he just hangs up? And he can’t show him a photo over the phone.
It’s a Friday and that fucker is going to be in Hosu for the next four days dealing with villain things. Shouto has the weekend free.
Shouto always has the weekend free now and for so many years all he wanted was to be left alone but now he’s alone most of the time and it’s good…. But it’s also a little empty.
Shouto gets back home and unlocks the door. As usual the house is huge and empty and silent. A little cold too.
Shouto toes off his shoes at the door and makes his way to his room. As usual it’s also cold and empty but it’s also familiar. There’re no personal artefacts anywhere. Maybe because Shouto has no real personality of his own.
He flops back on his futon. He doesn’t know why his thoughts feel so loud right now. Maybe he should watch some TV.
*
Later after dinner Shouto goes to his father’ study. It’s empty obviously but there in his father’s desk drawer he finds an address book. It doesn’t have Fuyumi’s updated address at her boyfriend’s but it does have Natsuo’s old college dorm address from two years ago and right now that’s good enough for Shouto.
He’s going to be a hero. He can track down his own brother.
*
Later after Shouto’s taken two trains and bus to end up in front of a university residential building he can admit that maybe he was trying to run before he learned to walk. He’s not even sure if Natsuo still lives here and the address was from two years.
But Shouto is nothing if not tenacious.
So he steps up to the door and pushes through. There’s a reception and he walks up to the bored looking student manning it.
They look up as he comes closer. There may be a flicker of recognition in their eyes but not a full-blown reaction. Shouto isn’t sure if he is that well known outside of the hero school circles but he tries his best to give the person a smile.
It must work because the girl smiles back. She even looks a little flushed which is worrying. Does she have a fever?
“Hello.” Shouto tries to be polite, “I’m looking for my brother. Todoroki Natsuo?”
The girls frowns, “I’m not sure if I know someone with that name here but I can check.”
She taps away at her computer before sighing. “No one of that name here. Did you say they’re living her now?”
“The address I have is actually old.” Shouto admits, “It’s from two years ago and I don’t know their current address.” Belatedly he realises it may be a little weird for him not to know his own brother’s address, so he adds a completely non-suspicious. “I want to surprise him so I didn’t ask for his new address.”
It must work because the girl’s face softens, “Aww, that’s so sweet! Well, I can check to see if there’s a new address for him in the records for forwarding mail and stuff.” She winks then, “You have to promise me you won’t tell anyone though!”
Shouto winks back because it feels like the right thing to do and the girl becomes even more flushed. Strange. “I won’t tell anyone.”
She giggles and turns back to her computer. Eventually she must find something because she whoops triumphantly and reads off an address for Shouto to copy down into his phone.
“Thank you.” He tells her sincerely. She has been very helpful.
The girl smiles, “No problem! I hope your brother enjoys his surprise!”
“I hope so too.” Shouto nods and leaves fast before she can keep talking like it looks like she wants to. He’s not sure if Natsuo will enjoy this surprise, in fact he’s almost certain he won’t.
Shouto takes the new address in his maps app and walks the twenty minutes to what might be Natsuo’s address. There’s a possibility it isn’t since it is a year out of date but if that’s the case Shouto will just ask the new occupants if they know where Natsuo moved to.
By the time he makes it to the flat he’s half-convinced that Natsuo doesn’t live here anymore.
But when he gets let into the building by someone leaving as he arrives and makes his way up the stairs to flat 9B he begins to be uncertain about his plan in general. He wants to talk to Natsuo but at the same time what will Natsuo say? Shouto doesn’t really want to be yelled at. He doesn’t like it when people are angry at him.
Shouto looks down at the ground but then steels himself. He’s got a strong quirk. He’s faced worse. He’ll be okay. Touya might be alive. It’ll all be worth it.
He lifts his hand to knock and find himself actually surprised when Natsuo is the one who opens the door.
“Shouto?” Natsuo blinks in shock, “What are you doing here?”
“Natsuo. Hello. I need to ask you something.”
*
Natsuo sits him down on the small couch in the messy living room and makes him a cup of green tea. It’s good tea, Natsuo has even stirred a little honey into it. Shouto takes a pleased sip and curls his legs up on the couch.
“My roommates are out for the day. But yeah, the mess is all them promise.” Natsuo lets out a little laugh that only sounds a tiny bit forced and plops down in a chair near Shouto. “So what’s going on? What do you need to ask me?”
Shouto isn’t sure how to begin. But then he remembers Kaminari’s paper. He pulls it out of his pocket and unfolds it, smoothing it out. Kamianri’s handwriting is really messy.
“I have something important to ask you.” Shouto reads out, “But it may bring up bad memories. I understand that this won’t be easy for you and I don’t want to hurt you but it is very important that I ask you this. I need you to know that I do value your feelings and I would never want to make you uncomfortable.”
Todoroki nods decisively when he’s done and tucks the paper back into his pocket. That was really good. Asking Kaminari for help was a good decision.
Natuso laughs a little nervously and swipes a hand through his hair. “Jesus Shouto. That sounds serious. Is this about Endeavour? Or Fuyumi?”
Shouto shakes his head, “This is not about that fucker,” Natsuo lets out a proper laugh here although it sounds a little incredulous, “Or Fuyumi.” He pulls his laptop out of his bag and opens it to the photo he has from the video.
“Do you recognise this person?” He asks Natsuo.
Natsuo frowns, “No. Not at all. Should I?”
Shouto considers the questions, “Maybe not. But what about this video? Anything familiar?”
He plays Natsuo the video of the blue flame vigilante and watches the way Natsuo goes stiff as he watches the flames and the way the figure moves.
Natsuo leans forward. “Fuck. No fucking way. It can’t be.”
He’s frowning and reaches out to click the replay button before Shouto has time to say anything.
Natsuo watches the video four times and Shouto watches Natsuo watch it in silence. Watching the play of emotions across Natsuo’s face.
Natsuo eventually leans back heavily and sighs. “I can see why you read me that little disclaimer.”
“Yes.” Shouto isn’t sure what else to say.
“You think it might be Touya.”
“Yes.”
“Touya’s dead.”
“Yes.”
“But they never found a body. Said he burnt himself to ash that day.”
“Yes.”
“But you think that man might be him.”
“Yes, I think so.”
Natsuo nods. He sits there quietly for a second before exploding. “Fuck!” Natsuo springs up and throws his mug of tea at the wall. It shatters and hot liquid drips down to the floor. Shouto sits frozen, unsure of what to do.
“That fucking liar!” Natsuo snarls. He’s pacing now. He kicks the chair over. “He said Touya was dead! That fucking liar!”
Natsuo turns back to Shouto to find him frozen, hands still holding the laptop.
“Fuck, Shouto I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“You didn’t scare me.” Shouto wants to say automatically but that would be a lie.
“It’s okay.” He says instead.
Natsuo snorts. “It fucking isn’t.”
Shouto doesn’t think he’s ever heard someone swear this much in one sitting.
Natsuo sits down beside him on the couch and it’s strange to Shouto. Natsuo is so solid, he’d always been the one to poke back at their father when they were younger and he’s the only one so far to ever really get out.
Natsuo is half-familiar to Shouto. For all that they’re brothers he doesn’t really feel like he knows Natsuo.
But Natsuo is sitting next to him now and he reaches over to pull Shouto into an unexpected hug.
It’s entirely unfamiliar. The last person that hugged Shouto was Fuyumi and before that it was his mother. But Natsuo isn’t a stranger. He’s family. So Shouto does his best to relax into the contact. It’s not bad, it actually feels quite nice.
He hasn’t been hugged since he made Fuyumi move out.
“We’ll get him back Shouto I promise.” Natsuo is saying as he hugs Shouto, “We’ll find Touya and get him back.”
Shouto isn’t very sure what he even wants in relation to Touya. He’d wanted to know it was Touya and now he does. He doesn’t really know what Natsuo means by “get him back” but he wouldn’t mind having another brother if that meant more hugs and someone else being angry at Endeavor.
He hugs Natsuo back.
“Okay.” He says, “Okay let’s get him back.”