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7:54 A.M. (Two Weeks Before the Cultural Festival)
“Alright, everyone,” Iida announces, standing beside Yaoyorozu at the front of the classroom, in full Class-Rep mode, “based on popular vote, Class 2-A will be taking on the task of writing, directing and performing a beloved fairytale classic for our fellow students. Let’s do our very best this year to proudly represent U.A.!”
“Ooo! What are we doing?” Ashido asks, squeezing her hands together. “Cinderella? Snow White?”
“Hamlet?” Kaminari asks.
“That isn’t a fairytale!”
“Like, what even counts as a fairytale?”
“It should be a manly story filled with adventure and lots of battles!” Kirishima calls out.
“Preferably with some witchcraft,” Tokoyami adds.
“And the leads have to have romantic chemistry! That’s a must!” Hagakure declares.
“This is so stupid,” Bakugou mutters, resting his chin on his hand and glancing out the window, ignoring his classmates and their brainstorming.
“Why, it has to be a musicale , does it not?” Aoyama inquires with a flourish.
“Not necessarily,” Yaoyorozu remarks, leafing through her notes. “Although if we were to put on a musical, there are five key songs we would need to hit.”
“And what are those, Momo?” Uraraka asks brightly.
The Vice-Rep counts off on her fingers. “There’s the quick song in the beginning that everyone always forgets, the emotional solo from the heroine about wanting more, the grand number that will win all of the awards, the villain song which will subtly be the best one, and finally the romantic duet between our lead and her love interest.”
“I-I’m all for participating in the play,” Deku weighs in, “but I don’t think I’m a very good singer.”
“We could dub it in post?” Kaminari suggests, looking at Jirou, who nods thoughtfully.
“Maybe let’s stick with a straight-forward play,” Yaoyorozu decides.
“We still haven’t picked which one we’re doing!” Hagakure reminds everyone, and most of the class breaks into side-banter, tossing out ideas for potential plays until Iida takes control again.
“Now I don’t want to put a damper on things, but there is the matter of copyright to consider,” he addresses, and the murmurings quiet. They know he has a good point.
“So basically all the good plays are taken?” Ashido pouts.
“What should we do then?” Sero inquires. “Write our own?”
“I don’t think any of us are playwrights,” Asui replies, a finger to her chin.
“Hey! I’ve got an idea,” Kirishima says, standing. “Why don’t we, like, improvise it? Ya know, ad lib?”
“Doesn’t improvisation require a lot of talent?” Todoroki questions.
“Hey, Yaoyorozu, you could write an outline for us, right?” Kirishima asks eagerly.
The tall brunette nods hesitantly. “I...think I could manage something like that.”
“Actually,” Deku muses, “improv isn’t a bad idea. It could help those of us who aren’t natural actors to feel more at ease on stage. Provided the casting is done right.”
These were the famous last words.
---
The following day, a rough outline is passed out to everyone in Class-2A, complete with the full cast list.
…
“I Dreamed on a Shooting Star and My Wish Came True” - an epic, romantic fairytale
Full Cast List: (in order of appearance)
Narrators: Kaminari Denki, Sero Hanta
Princess: Bakugou Katsuki
King: Aoyama Yuga
Queen: Ashido Mina
Suitors: Mineta Minoru, Ojiro Mashirao, Koda Koji
Ugly Stepsisters: Asui Tsuyu, Hagakure Tohru
Fairy Godmother: Todoroki Shouto
Princess’ Servant: Kirishima Eijirou
Evil Henchmen: Sato Rikido, Shoji Mezo,
Knight: Uraraka Ochako
Evil Warlock’s Servent: Iida Tenya
Evil Arc Warlock: Midoriya Izuku
Crew: Jirou Kyouka, Yaoyorozu Momo, Tokoyami Fumikage
…
“Oh sweet!” Kaminari claps hands with Sero. “We’re the narrators. That means we basically run the show!”
“W-Wait, I’m the knight?” Uraraka frowns. “As in...Prince Charming?” She exchanges a look with Deku, who eyes the manuscript in shock.
“I’m not sure if I can play villainous,” he murmurs, then he perks up, his eyes alight, “but I’ll do my best!”
“It makes sense that you and I are King and Queen, Aoyama,” Ashido teases, “considering we’re basically royalty.”
“Oui, oui, Mademoiselle!”
“I’m an ugly stepsister?” Hagakure cries. “So rude!”
“Don’t look at me.” Yaoyorozu defends herself. “I wasn’t in charge of the casting.”
“Well, who was?”
“I’m glad I’m not in the actual play,” Jirou comments. “Singing and acting don’t always coincide.”
“You...got the Fairy Godmother, Shouto?” Deku asks, furrowing his eyebrows.
The half-ice, half-fire quirk user nods, his expression neutral. “It appears so.”
“Ooo! I can’t wait!” Ashido gushes. “This is going to be so much fun-”
“Hold the goddamn phone.”
Everyone turns in their seats to look at Bakugou, who up until this point has barely uttered a word throughout the entire planning process. Several students jump as he slams his palms onto his desk and launches to his feet.
“Who the actual fuck made me the princess?”
The room drops to a dead silence.
Kaminari wheezes.
“Hah?!” Bakugou lunges forward and grabs the other blond by the uniform collar.
“Hey, Dude, take it easy! It wasn’t me! I don’t know who the hell did the casting!”
“Bakugou, release your fellow classmate at once!” Iida instructs, chopping the air with his arm. “We will not have another accidental suffocation!”
“If you all think I’m going to get on stage and put on a dress, you’re tapped,” Bakugou rages, giving Kaminari another shake for good measure before releasing him. “I’m not gonna sit here and be laughed at by you losers!”
“Oh, come on, Man,” Kirishima tries to pacify him. “It’s just a role. We won’t make you put on a dress. Who cares about the part? You just say a couple of lines, and then it’s over!”
“A lot of us are going to have to step outside our comfort zones,” Asui adds. “It’s for the good of the festival.”
“Not to mention there will be a lot of excited children there, Kacchan!”
“Stay out of this, Deku!”
“O-Okay then.”
Bakugou pushes aside his desk chair and prepares to leave. “Have fun with your shitty play, ‘cuz there’s no way in hell I’m-”
“Poor Bakugou-kun. He probably has stage fright.”
The blond screeches to a halt, his garnet eyes snapping in the direction of the murmured comment. Uraraka stiffens, releasing a small ‘eep!” and using both hands to cover her mouth.
He marches right up to her. “What did you just say to me, Cheeks?”
Uraraka starts waving her hands rapidly. “Nothing! Sorry. I just figured you might be a little nervous about being onstage in front of all those people. I mean, it just takes a lot of skill to be an actor, and it’s not for everyone so-”
“You saying you think you can do a better job than me? Huh?” Bakugou accuses, narrowing his eyes.
“E-Eh? N-No! That’s not what I was saying at all-”
“You think I don’t have what it takes to be a princess?!”
Uraraka blinks at him and then looks to Kirishima for help, but the redhead just shrugs.
“I don’t know what to say to that either.”
“Well, screw all of you,” Bakugou finishes, jerking his thumb towards himself and lifting his chin. “I’ll be the damn princess, but I better get a nice pair of slippers out of this. Just you watch. I’ll crush this play. You’ll all really be extras after I’m done with you!”
And then he storms out.
The members of Class-2A glance at each other.
“Alright, we’ll take it!” Iida announces, and everyone cheers.
---
The following week is for rehearsals and role development, and the students set aside time to ask the important questions and flesh out their characters.
“So you’re the princess who’s ahead of her...er, his time,” Kirishima tells Bakugou, taking one for the team and helping the blond with his part. “Your family wants you to find a suitor, but you’re tired of your quaint, provincial life. You want adventure. You want... more.”
Bakugou stares at the other boy blankly. “More what.”
Kirishima shrugs. “Beats me.”
“Hey!” Kaminari calls from his seat on the floor, attracting the attention of his fellow classmates. “Weird question, but this is an adventure- romance, right? Does that mean we’re gonna get to see a super sweet smooch at the end?”
“E-Eh?!” Uraraka squeaks, glancing over at Bakugou before quickly looking elsewhere.
“Ooo! There has to be a kiss!” Hagakure squeals, shimmying her transparent torso.
“Tohru!”
“Hah?” Bakugou curls his lip. “I ain’t kissing anybody. No matter how big their cheeks!”
Kaminari scratches his head. “Okay...kind of a weird thing to say, but what I’m hearing is a definite maybe?”
Bakugou looms over the electric blond, palms crackling and pupils practically glowing red as he engulfs the other boy in his shadow.
Kaminari blinks up at Bakugou, and then turns to the rest of the class calmly. “You know guys, love is dead anyway. I vote no kiss.”
And thus, it was decided True Love’s Kiss would be replaced with True Love’s Hand Hold.
As the days pass and real rehearsals begin, the class falls into a pattern. The improvisation is rough at first, especially since they’re only working off an outline, but after a while they begin to hit the same, familiar beats. When tech week rolls around, Uraraka takes Deku and Todoroki aside in the wings of the auditorium.
“I have to be honest guys. I’m really nervous,” she confesses in a hushed whisper.
“Oh, you really shouldn’t be, Uraraka,” Deku tells her encouragingly. “You’re already doing so great!”
Todoroki nods. “You know all of your lines.”
“It’s not that,” Uraraka admits, glancing across the way at Bakugou, who’s being fitted for his princely, uh... princessly costume. “It’s Bakugou.” She shakes her head. “It’s so strange to say, but I’d rather fight him again then do something like this. I just feel so weird around him.”
“Pretending to be romantic leads is probably a little uncomfortable,” Deku agrees, “especially since none of us are seasoned actors.” He scratches his chin. “Come to think of it, we never did find out who was in charge of casting.”
“Uraraka if I may,” Todoroki speaks.
She nods. “Sure!”
“Maybe you would feel better if you tried to become one with your character. Pretend you are actually a knight set to rescue the princess from the Evil Arc Warlock. Don’t think of it as you and Bakugou. Think of it as a fantasy hero and her lover. Completely different people.”
Uraraka considers this. “Huh. Okay, yeah! I guess I could do that.” She smiles. “Thanks, Todoroki.”
“Is that what you’re trying to do with your part as Fairy Godmother, Shouto?” Deku inquires.
The taller boy nods, glancing back at Uraraka. “It might not be as easy for you, but I was fortunate enough to already share many similarities with my character.” Todoroki straightens the sparkling robe of his own costume.
Uraraka and Deku exchange a look.
“R-Really?” Uraraka asks, her tone tinged with bemusement.
Todoroki nods, brandishing his magic wand between two hands. He blinks at his friends. “Is that surprising?”
“No!”
“Not at all!”
“You really sparkle, Todoroki-kun!”
The days tick by, and the finishing touches are placed on the performance. Everyone has been fitted for their costumes, the lighting is mapped, the pit is set up, the blocking is perfected. All that’s left is to put on the show of their lives.
On the day of their performance, the auditorium is packed when the lights come up.
---
“I Dreamed on a Shooting Star and My Wish Came True”
ACT I
Prologue
Kaminari and Sero enter from stage left, dressed in old-timey button downs and loose slacks; attire resembling medieval European wear. Both of their hair is slicked back, and as they move downstage, a spotlight follows them. They turn to address their audience.
“Hey everybody!” Kaminari starts, and then composes himself, remembering the sanctity of his role. “Today you will witness the harrowing and magical tale of a princess-”
“-who was a stubborn, old shrew,” Sero provides.
Kaminari nods solemnly. “- so shrew-y, and one who believed that someday, he would find true love in this cruel, shallow world of ours. The Princess had a sheltered, privileged life, but in all honesty, he just wanted... more. This is his story.”
---
Scene I. Outside the Palace Steps.
The main curtain parts, revealing faux stone steps leading up to the royal family. Aoyama and Ashido are dressed in fine, velvet robes with bedazzled crowns. Their son, Princess Bakugou, stands in the center, dressed in a regal vest, expensive looking trousers, and a flowing blood red cloak, complete with a crown that stands off-kilter on his poofy head.
“The royal family was beloved by the entire kingdom,” Sero explains, “but the Princess wasn’t so good with his people skills.”
“ So not good,” Kaminari mutters.
“-but the family lived in happiness. That was, until the Princess’ eighteenth birthday, when he had to choose a suitor with whom he should marry.”
“Little did the King and Queen know that the Princess’ standards were unrealistic as hell,” Kaminari adds.
“My, my!” Aoyama exclaims, throwing his massive cloak over one shoulder. “Look at all of these fine suitors! Surely, you can choose your husband-to-be, my sweet?”
“Not like you’re getting any younger there,” Ashido adds, flicking Bakugou on the back of the head, to which the blond recoils.
“Don’t rush me!” he fires back, before turning to acknowledge the suitors, who have gathered at the bottom of the steps.
The first suitor to approach is Koda, who looks pale as a sheet. He opens his mouth to address the royal family, but any words he had intended to say die in his throat. As the silence drags on, Bakugou’s shoulders shake until an aggravated noise rips from his throat.
“Get the hell out of my sight! I ain’t gonna marry a mute,” he declares, and Koda shuffles away in shame.
The next suitor to present himself is Ojirou, tail coiled around his body, so it resembles a fine animal skin. He bows before the royals, adjusting his stance as he remembers to cheat out to the audience.
“Your Highness, I’ve traveled far and wide to glimpse your-” Ojirou glances up and comes face to face with Bakugou’s protruding bottom lip, bloodshot eyes, and flared nostrils, “...beautiful...face. And I have come to ask for your hand in marriage!”
“Ain’t interested.”
Ojirou claps a hand to his chest. “But why? You are more lovely than Aphrodite herself!”
Bakugou rolls his eyes. “You think I haven’t heard that one before? Find a one-liner that wasn’t made by someone with half a brain, and then we’ll talk.”
Ojirou turns to go, shoulders slumped. “That was so much ruder than in rehearsal,” he murmurs.
Finally, Mineta approaches the palace steps, takes a deep breath and-
“No.”
“But I haven’t even-”
“BYE!”
Mineta turns to go, “Why couldn’t the princess have been Yaoyorozu or Asui or someone with heavenly curves?” he grumbles.
“Mon Cheri,” Aoyama says to Bakugou with disapproval. “You must pick a suitor. It is the law! I understand you may wish for a different path, but in our world, it does not matter if you want... more. ”
“More what?” Bakugou hisses, before he shakes his head. “Not my fault if all the choices you’ve given me are pure garbage.” He crosses his arms and scowls.
“But it seems like some of these suitors, like, really want to get to know the real you!” Ashido points out, her magnificent crown sparkling under the stage lights.
The blond scoffs. “Yeah, right. These men only want one thing. What do you take me for, a fool? Everyone just wants me for my body or whatever.”
Aoyama leans over to Ashido. “ Oh mon dieu, and I thought I had a gift for theatrics.”
“Now listen here, young man,” Ashido admonishes, shaking her finger at her faux son. “You are the princess of this castle, and so help me, one day you will be the queen!”
“I’d rather be dragged out and burned at the stake then marry any of these clowns!” Bakugou proclaims.
Asui and Hagakure emerge onstage, each dressed in decadent, silky, sky blue gowns.
“You could try to be more agreeable, Princess,” Asui suggests, the tip of her tongue poking out of her mouth as she surveys Bakugou.
“Yeah!” Hagakure agrees, her dress shifting against her invisible form, “and you could at least put some effort into the way you dress.”
“Like you can talk,” Bakugou snarls at the two step-sisters. “Trying to lecture me on fashion while you’re wearing those dregs. Where’d you even get those rags? Last century's sample sale?”
“Bakugou’s really getting into character,” Asui whispers to Hagakure, before they shuffle offstage again.
Sero and Kaminari step into view once more.
“As you can see,” Sero comments, as the scenery and set pieces change behind them, “there’s...a lot going on there.”
“If the Princess could only learn to stand there and look pretty, maybe he would be married by now,” Kaminari surmises.
“I heard that, Pikachu!”
“ Anyway, that night, the Princess wished on a shooting star, hoping that someone, somewhere, would answer his pathetic pleas for help,” Sero continues.
---
Scene II. The Princess’ Bedchamber.
Bakugou sweeps aside his cloak and approaches his plastic stained-glass window, pressing his hands together calmly.
Then he shouts, “STAR, make my wish come true, damn it! Take me far away from this place, and help me do that other crap people were talking about!”
“Find love!” Yaoyorozu whisper-shouts from the wings.
“Yeah, that!”
Todoroki descends from a fly system, his appearance sparking many gasps and doting sighs from the audience. His robe sparkles magnificently, and his hair is coated in shimmering fairy dust. He clutches his magic wand in one hand, pointing it at Bakugou until he is at the blond’s level.
“You called?” Todoroki greets neutrally.
Bakugou rears back, his lip curling. “Who are you?”
“I’m your fairy godmother. I’m here to grant you your wish.”
Bakugou snorts. “So I’m supposed to believe you’re some sort of angel that came down from the heavens or something?”
Todoroki blinks. “Actually, I think it was a pulley system.”
“What th-I know that!” Bakugou clenches his fists. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”
Todoroki touches the tip of his wand to Bakugou's head. “Your wish shall be granted. You will one day be faced with a challenge, and if you rise to meet it, you will gain everything you’ve ever wanted. Good-bye.”
“Hah? That’s it?”
“Yes.”
Todoroki ascends, his arms extended majestically as the audience cheers.
“Fucking idiots,” Bakugou mutters under his breath.
“Your Majesty!” Kirishima calls, entering the Princess’ bedchamber as Bakugou crosses to his mattress. “You summoned me?”
“Yeah. Fix me up or whatever it is you do.”
Bakugou sits on his makeshift chamber bed while Kirishima fusses over him, fixing his hair, straightening his vest, etc. The redhead wears servants’ clothes, with a frilly apron tied across his front.
“I don’t understand, Your Bro-ness. You know you’ll have to get married eventually. You can’t put this off forever,” Kirishima remarks to the other man, as he straightens his cloak.
Bakugou smacks his hand away and stands, going over to look out the plastic stained-glass window again. “Don’t you think I know that? I just don’t want to play by their dumb rules. I want to be with someone who’s actually worth my damn time.”
Kirishima perks up. “So you want to marry for love? That’s the manliest thing you can do!”
“Alright, don’t blow a fuse.” Bakugou crosses his arms, his posture stiff and unnatural. “I know to do that, I can’t be stuck in this place. I’ve got to go out there, into the real world, and actually make something of myself.”
The redhead takes a seat across from his lady, er, lord. “Ah! I get it! So you want... more.”
“MORE WHAT?! Why won’t anybody tell me?! ”
Kirishima opens his mouth to reply, when a tremendous crash resounds offstage. His body becomes still as stone.
“They’re here,” he whispers in horror.
The spotlight flickers back on, and Sero pivots to the crowd. “You see, suitors far and wide have tried to claim the Princess’ hand for themselves, but none have been as persistent as the Evil Arc Warlock.”
“This guy is not a good dude,” Kaminari continues. “He rules from this wicked place on the other side of the land, and every year he sends his henchmen to try and kidnap the Princess for himself.”
Sato and Shoji emerge, dressed in all black, as they mime sneaking up the castle steps.
“I ain’t afraid of no Arc Warlock,” Bakugou declares, cracking his knuckles. “Let his extras come at me!”
Kirishima grips his lord’s forearm. “Princess, you can’t! It’s too dangerous! Promise me you will escape! Promise me you will do everything possible to not get captured!”
Bakugou blinks at his servant. “You not coming or something?”
Kirishima shakes his head sadly, sitting in a nearby chair. “I’m the only character who’s had a meaningful connection with you so far, so that means I’m a goner.”
“Hah? The hell? Just don’t die, moron. We can still get out of here!”
The redhead clutches his heart. “No, it’s too late for me. Good...bye...Your...Bro-ness-”
Kirishima keels over, flipping the chair backwards with him.
“Oh, great!” Bakugou throws up his hands. “Now what am I supposed to do?”
There’s a pounding on his chamberdoor. “Come out, Princess,” Sato calls, starting to twist the knob. “We have you surrounded from one direction!”
Bakugou goes to his window, and prepares to climb out of it, all while muttering to himself angrily. “Can’t believe I’m...damn set piece...what is this, plaster?...can’t even see where to grab…”
Sato and Shoji enter the bedchamber right as Bakugou exits.
“He’s escaping,” Shoji observes neutrally, and then tries the line again with more emotion. “Uh, he’s escaping!”
“G-Get back here, Princess,” Sato calls, bumbling over his lines. “If you slip, you’ll fall!”
“Ah, shut up!”
Bakugou clings to the plaster wall, as the music from the pit picks up and wind sounds fill the auditorium. In the wings, a fan is pointed towards him, the setting set to arctic blast, so his gums are practically pulled back from his cheeks.
“Oi! We get it, Earphone Girl!” Bakugou shouts in the direction of the crew members, while bringing a hand up to shield his face.
He loses his footing.
Sato and Shoji call out to him as he plummets, but he never reaches the ground. Two strong arms catch him under his back and legs, and Bakugou looks around wildly, catching a glimpse of shiny, silver armor and big, brown eyes.
“I caught you!” Uraraka belts, landing gracefully on the stone path below the chamber window.
“Yeah, you’re a real Sherlock, ya know that?” Bakugou bites. “Now let go of me!” He tries to wriggle out of her grasp.
“I can’t do that, Princess,” the Knight proclaims. “I have to get you to safety!”
Uraraka starts running from the castle, the sounds of Sato and Shoji giving chase echo behind them.
“Who even are you?” Bakugou demands, still squirming.
“I’m the wise-cracking romantic lead, who’s a little stuck in my ways, but I’ll ultimately be won over by your kind and genuine demeanor!” she tells him, cheeks puffing joyfully.
“I said let go of me already, you moron!”
Uraraka laughs nervously, casting a quick glance at the audience before muttering, “Bakugou, this is the part where you’re supposed to thank me for rescuing you.”
“Maybe in Hell , I will. You’re carrying me way longer than you did in rehearsal!”
Uraraka sets him down, if only because the Arc Warlock’s henchmen have caught up to them. “Don’t worry, Princess! I’ll protect you!”
“Like I asked you to!”
Uraraka ignores him, withdrawing her sword and charging.
The audience gasps as she puts her combat training to use, dodging the boys’ blows and using her gravity quirk to sail over them. Eventually, she sends them flying back into the wings and out of sight, making a quick bow when the crowd breaks into scattered applause. Even Bakugou raises an eyebrow, noting she’s pulled out some new moves he hadn’t seen in rehearsal.
“Come on! There will be more of them,” Uraraka says to him, and then, after a brief moment of awkwardness, she reaches forward and takes his hand, leading him away from the castle.
“Don’t walk in front of me, damn it!”
---
Scene III. The Magical Forest.
“The Princess and the Knight walked through the magical forest together,” Sero explains, “and as they walked, the Knight told the Princess of her mission to subdue the Evil Arc Warlock, so he would never harm anyone again.”
As soon as the backdrop changes to the forest scenery, Bakugou wrenches his hand out of Uraraka’s, sticking out his bottom lip as they walk together.
“You can come with me, if you want,” Uraraka offers, smiling at him, “to defeat the Arc Warlock.”
Bakugou stops walking and raises any eyebrow. “What’s the catch?”
“Oh, there is none! I just think you could be really helpful, but I get if you think it’s too dangerous-”
“Yeah, right. I’ll kill that shitty, green-haired Arc Warlock once and for all.”
“Language, Bakugou,” Uraraka whispers, before projecting. “If we ever run into trouble, don’t worry. I’ll protect you with my life, Princess.” She places a hand over her heart, as she makes her vow.
Bakugou rolls his eyes. “Oh, give me a break, like I’d ever need you to-”
“-But the Princess was secure in his masculinity,” Sero interrupts, “so he was totally okay with this.”
“Wha-I...” Bakugou pauses, realizing he’s been trapped with word play and resorts to growling to himself instead.
“Of course, I’m sure you can take care of yourself,” Uraraka continues. “I know you’re more than what your title makes you out to be. Maybe you can tell me more about yourself!”
“In your dreams.” Bakugou looks away from her.
“The Princess is doing what is known as playing hard to get,” Kaminari informs the audience, “when in actuality, he has a raging hard-on for the Knight.”
“Why you-”
“SO, the Knight and the Princess continued on their journey,” Sero presses on, “and before they knew it, night had fallen.”
Bakugou and Uraraka sit around a campfire, the paper flames fluttering gently under the night lighting. Uraraka’s armor clatters every time she moves, so she resolves to stay still. Bakugou slouches over grumpily, and then a movement catches his eye.
Todoroki, his fairy godmother, descends into view, winks, and then ascends once more via the fly system.
Bakugou straightens. “Uh, so I made a wish or whatever,” he tells Uraraka. “And I’m guessing you’re it.”
Uraraka blinks at him. “I’m...your wish?”
“Yeah,” Bakugou continues, getting annoyed. “You know! The true love part and all that. You’re it.”
“Oh,” Uraraka says in surprise. “You think we’re in love?” She pauses, bringing a finger to her chin as she considers this. “Well, I have known you for almost a full day.”
“Exactly, and what else are we supposed to do? Wait another whole day? Not likely.”
“So what do you think we should do? Should we...sing about it?”
“I’d rather die than do that.”
“Then why even bring it up?” Uraraka crosses her arms, her armor clattering again. “You don’t make any sense!”
“Oi, don’t blame me, blame whoever did the goddamn casting,” Bakugou fires back.
“The couple is having their first lover’s quarrel,” Kaminari infers from the wings.
“Pikachu, get out of here or I’ll kill you myself!”
“The narrator is required backstage,” Kaminari adds, slipping into safety.
“This isn’t easy for me either, Bakugou,” Uraraka murmurs to him, an angry blush coating her cheeks, “I know the thought of doing this stuff with me is repulsive to you, but can’t we at least pretend for the festival?”
Bakugou watches her face for a moment before he exhales angrily, glaring out at the audience when they start to cough uncomfortably due to the extended silence. Finally, he takes a deep breath.
“HOLD MY HAND,” he commands, his outburst causing Uraraka and several members of the audience to jump. Then, without another second’s hesitation, he grabs her hand, squeezing the life out of it as his ears turn cherry red.
Thankfully, the scene fades to black after that.
---
Intermission
Uraraka takes a drink of water, rubbing at her sweaty hairline and fanning her flaming cheeks. She doesn’t understand why Bakugou has to be so difficult. She’s been trying to implement Todoroki’s advice, but it’s hard to pretend to be someone else when he won’t even work with her. She’s about to take another sip of water, when she feels three fingers poke the back of her shoulder.
“Oi.”
Uraraka turns around, surprised but also not surprised to find Bakugou, his face red from the stage lights and his temple as sticky as hers. He kind of smells like sweat, but she’s sure she isn’t much better in this clunky costume of hers.
“Do you need something, Bakugou?” she asks, a little apprehensively.
“You’re not repulsive,” comes his reply.
A silence settles over them.
“Okay. Thank you.” Uraraka goes to leave, when his voice halts her.
“Those moves back there were alright too, I guess,” Bakugou admits, sticking his hands into his costume pockets. And then, “If you want we can...keep holding hands in the big, dumb finale.”
Uraraka blinks at him. “You mean…you’d do it for the festival?”
He nods once. “For the festival.”
She perks up. “Okay! Thanks for making an effort, Bakugou. I really appreciate it.”
“Tch.” Bakugou pivots and walks away, and Uraraka thinks about how the stage lights must have warmed the back of his neck too.
---
ACT II
Scene I. Outside the Evil Arc Warlock’s Lair.
“After another grueling day of travel, the Princess and the Knight arrive at the fortress of the Evil Arc Warlock,” Sero relays to the audience from his spot downstage left.
“Little did they know of the insane challenge they would soon face,” Kaminari jumps in, sticking his head out from one of the wings, at a safe distance from Bakugou’s wrath.
The backdrop changes to a volcanic rock scene, complete with molten canyons and fake wavy fire. Bakugou and Uraraka approach the craggily steps, when Iida emerges, adorned in thick black robes and a hood covering most of his face.
“Halt! Who dares to trespass on my liege’s terrain?!” he demands in his nasally and diabolical character voice.
Uraraka claps a hand over her mouth, trying to hold back her laughter. Bakugou kicks the back of her ankle and she jumps, remembering herself.
“I-It is us! The silver knight and the princess of this kingdom,” she informs the guard. “We have come to vanquish the Evil Arc Warlock and free this land from his evil...ness.”
“HA! A mere soldier and a princess expect to defeat my lord. How laughable!” Iida throws back his hood with a sinister flourish, and Uraraka turns away from the audience as another giggle escapes her. “You won’t even get past me!”
“Ah, shut up and prepare to die!” Bakugou declares, brandishing his crackling palms.
“Bakugou,” Uraraka whispers urgently, her laughter instantly evaporating. “We don’t have quirks in this play!”
“Yes!” Iida urges, frowning at Bakugou’s disobedience but also trying to remain evil. “What is this strange magic you possess? Magic that is not canon in this universe!”
“It’s called improvising!” Bakugou barrels forward, headed right for Iida.
“Good gods, what do you think you’re doing?! I demand you stop at onc-OHH!”
Bakugou fires off an explosion by Iida’s feet, sending him flying offstage and into the audience. A couple people scream in alarm, but the majority of the audience has broken into an enthusiastic applause. Uraraka, while flustered and concerned for Iida, tries to work with the situation.
“W-Wow, Princess! Such power! See what you can achieve if you only believe in yourself?”
“Hah?” Bakugou extinguishes his quirk, narrowing his eyes. “That wasn’t my character arc.”
“Oh, just go with it!” Uraraka hisses, and then she laughs nervously again, shooting another quick look at the audience. “U-Um, anyway, let’s go and defeat the Arc Warlock!”
“But as the Princess and the Knight entered the chamber,” Sero announces, “they found out the Warlock was already waiting for them!”
---
Scene II. Inside the Evil Arc Warlock’s Throne Room.
The lights come up, revealing a poorly constructed chamber room with plaster columns lining the sides. In the center of the columns stands Deku, one foot braced on his throne as he rises to address his newcomers.
His hair is even messier than usual, and he’s dressed with a smooth silk vest, tie and slacks. A large cape descends from his shoulders, and his eyes are lined with thick, black eyeliner. He tries to form a menacing expression, but he takes one look at the audience and freezes.
“S-So many p-people,” Deku whispers.
“Oi!” Bakugou barks from the platform below. “Get with it! We didn’t come all this way for nothing!”
That seems to jerk Deku out of his funk. “R-Right!” He straightens and then arches his shoulders in an attempt to appear intimidating. “Don’t try to stop me, Princess. One day I will have your hand in marriage, and we will rule this kingdom together! Nothing and no one can take me down! I’m the pure incarnation of evil! Mwahaha!”
“Give me a break,” Bakugou goads, “I’ve eaten calamari with more backbone than you, you poorly dressed, half-witted loser!”
Deku’s lip trembles. “T-That’s so mean!”
Uraraka brandishes her sword. “Prepare to meet your fate, Deku, er, Warlock!”
Deku attempts another cackle, and he swishes back his cloak once more. “You can try!”
As the three engage in fisticuffs, Uraraka eyes Bakugou, sensing his climbing excitement as the ‘battle’ rages on. In the script, she is the one to strike the finishing blow, and now that she’s made it this far, there’s no way he’s taking that away from her.
With a ferocious battle cry, Uraraka springs forth, using her quirk to vault over Bakugou and pierce Deku in the armpit. The green-haired warlock clutches his chest and falls to the ground with a thump.
“Y-You got me!” Deku cries. “I’m dying!”
“Deku, you aren’t supposed to die!” Uraraka reminds him in a panicked whisper.
“Oh, right! Sorry!”
Bakugou waves his hand at her. “Eh, let him die.”
Uraraka exhales noisily through her nostrils, but decides to just go with it. It is improv after all.
“Okay, fine,” she relents. “You’re a goner.”
Deku dies, and Uraraka hangs her head solemnly. “Poor Warlock. He was so misunderstood.”
“Eh. We’ll move on.”
“That’s right! We will.” Uraraka stands, surveying Bakugou timidly before slowly extending her hand. “Actually, Princess. I...I wanted to ask you-AH!” She clutches her side and collapses, drawing gasps from the audience.
Bakugou looms over her, and then toes her side with his boot. “What’s your problem?”
“The Warlock!” Uraraka gasps, clutching her chest. “He must have cursed me! I’m sorry, Princess. I swore to protect you, but now I think I’m also going to die!”
The audience inhales sharply, while Bakugou grits his teeth, hating this part but knowing he made a commitment during intermission, and like hell he’ll back down now!
He crouches beside her, facing the audience. “I know what’ll save you,” he recites his lines boredly, robotically, like he’s done a million times in rehearsal. “True Love’s Kiss.”
As soon as the words leave his lips, both he and Uraraka freeze. Bakugou’s jaw springs open, bobbing once, twice.
That isn’t the line. That’s not what they practiced. That’s not what they changed it to!
“ Hand hold! I meant True Love’s Hand Hold!” he shouts, his voice echoing around the auditorium.
“Too late! You already said kiss,” Kaminari calls.
The audience starts cheering, and both actors begin sweating visibly. Bakugou scowls, looking away from her, his face bright red.
“T-There’s no way I’m going to-”
“It’s okay,” Uraraka breathes. “I t-think I have an idea.”
Before Bakugou can demand she explain herself, Uraraka grabs one end of his cloak and shields their faces from the audience, pulling on the vest of his shirt in the same motion. Their noses accidentally bump together, but the contact is completely hidden from the crowd, who burst into laughter and applause at what they assume to be a passionate embrace of lips.
The pair blinks at each other behind their private curtain, certainly too close for comfort, but the moment is quick enough, and they can blame the redness of their faces on the stage lighting and nothing else.
---
Scene III. The Palace Courtyard.
Sero and Kaminari step out from the wings, the spotlight falling upon their shoulders once again. At the same time, Uraraka emerges in her knightley costume with a crown atop her head, while Bakugou sports his own crown with a white veil and a grimace.
“And so, that’s how the Princess found true love,” Kaminari tells the audience. “It was totally beautiful.”
“Oh, that’s what we’re calling it?” Sero mutters to himself, before shaking his head and acknowledging the crowd one final time. “From this day on, the Princess and the Knight became the new King and Queen of the land.”
Uraraka lifts her bride into her arms, and using her quirk, she bounds into the air, narrowly avoiding an upside-down Todoroki, who’s still attached to his harness in the rafters. Bakugou’s bridal veil soars in the wind as the musicians in the pit make their music swell.
Sero and Kaminari hold out their arms. “And they all lived Happily, Ever-”
---
“-What the hell am I watching?” Aizawa mutters from the front row, two fingers massaging his temple. Beside him, All Might chuckles good-naturedly.
“Oh, don’t be so hard on them, Eraser. This is what they wanted after all.”
Aizawa sighs. “To be honest, I’m surprised they managed to pull off what they did. Considering the abysmal casting. Who in their right mind would pick these students for these specific roles? What a nightmare.”
All Might pulls out a handkerchief and pats his abruptly sweaty brow.