Chapter Text
I was only ever allowed to leave with Alexader at my side like a guard dog he was ever watchful, smelling blood and vengeance thick upon the air. No man woman or child was an innocent to him anymore,I did not feel as he did but I did as he commanded, thankful of the lack of conscious awareness in the frenzies alexander would coax me in to. I would only find myself at the end of a trail of blood, tasting the freshness of the blood that lingered in my mouth, it was sweet and yet so bitter.
This time I found an abandoned warehouse, taking shelter in a darkened corner, the blood trailing behind me, I dropped to the wall, sliding to the floor in a pathetic heap. I was thankful for a moment of reprieve from Alexanders watchful gaze, I felt I could breathe until I the reality would hit me of all I had done in his service, and how this was just the beginning. Then I gasped for air out of panic rather than need. I had no control, overwhelmed I clung to myself for comfort I knew no one could give, and I did not deserve. I no longer cared if Alexander could hear me, I had cried silently the first few times I had broken from my frenzy, but now I wept openly, I could not stand to be this monster any longer, I hated what he had made me. I sat broken in the wake of the chaos I had caused. I found I could not stop myself once his smooth voice called me to action I was blind to right or wrong, I only wanted to please my master, truly enthralled by him.
I had been sitting for some time covered in the blood of god knows how many and Alexander had not come for me, and I could not sense him, he must have had other business to attend to, I had done my job, and he knew I would return, for James. I looked down at my hands, they tremored with the emotion coursing through me. The blood upon them was dry, and when I tried to wipe it clean it refused to wash away, it taunted me. I could feel the need to taste the blood, the hunger both frightened and disgusted me. I heard footsteps expecting Alexander, I didn't move, I remained slumped upon the floor.
"Emilia?" A voice called in confusion.
I dared to look up, and I saw Remier. He looked down at me "I did not expect to find you at the end of this trail of blood." His voice pained. "Did you do this?"
His eyes looked wide but hopeful, but when I dropped my head into my hands head cried "I have no memory of it, that is the only good I can draw from this horror, that I don't recall the pain I caused, the faces, the screams do not linger in my memory any longer."
I saw the light fade away. "Emilia why would you do such a thing?" he exclaimed,a look of disgust marring his face. He must have seen the aftermath to all I had done, the trail of bodies in my wake.
"My master demanded it, I can not deny any demand he asks of me" I exclaimed in frustration knowing that I had tried to fight but failed miserably, and I was not the one to pay the price, it was innocent people who had paid with their lives. As Remier looked upon me with revulsion, I knew it was then I dared to ask what I had wanted for some time now "Will you free me from this hell, send me to the one in which I belong." I begged.
"How can you ask this of me?" He cried. "I want to save you not damn you"
"I can not be saved, but you can spare those which I will set to like a wild dog, I understand his rage but I can't be part of how he chooses to wield it. It is killing me, I never wanted to be this monster, I wanted to believe you were right, but I have done too much, hurt too many. Please do this for me" I pleaded grasping at his hand imploring him to look down upon my sorry face, to see the blood staining my hands, the stain upon my soul. He refused to look snatching his hand free. I grasped at the air trying to draw him back. He turned his back upon me.
In desperation I cried after him "You have seen what I have done, what I am capable of, how can you leave me here to continue this. You are a hunter, do what is in your blood to do, before I do what is now in mine to do."
He slowly turned back to look at me, his eyes misted over. Steeling himself he began, in a voice heavy with emotion "I wish we had never met, I never questioned myself until then. I felt nothing but now it tears me apart."
He slowly walked back toward me dropping to his haunches, he took my face in his hands "Emilia please let there be another way" he begged. Shaking his head slowly, not wanting to rest his eyes upon mine.
"There is no other way." I stammered. Grabbing his chin in my hand "Look at me" I called to him.
His eyes were slow to meet mine, but when they finally did, a lingering gaze allowed me to look into his gentle eyes once more, the tears falling from his eyes strained at my heart. I was petrified but I could not continue. "End it."
We took each other in one last bittersweet kiss, soft and gentle. Both not wanting it to end, as I did not want to die, and he did not want to be the one to end my life, but it had to be done, there was no way back now, only an end.
I lay back, feeling the cold harsh ground upon my back. It was strange to look up at someone who was to be our executioner and feel pity for them, but I could truly see how much this pained him. He wept as he readied the tools of his trade, he wielded the stake with a shaky hand, he could no longer look at me. He swallowed hard and drew back his hand, I stopped him "I am scared Remier, pray for my soul if I still have one" I begged, gasping as sobs wracked my body.
While he prayed for me, I tried to steady my breath trying to not let the fear consume me, but I was afraid of what awaited a monster like me, nothing good, but it would be what I deserved I tried to reason away the fear. He drew back his hand once more. He held for some time as if hoping I would stop him again, but when I did not he sighed heavily, gritting his teeth.
I closed my eyes and tensed waiting for the pain. I had not been prepared for the agony that rushed through me, forcing one last gasp free of my lips before I took in the final sight before me. Remier's eyes were wide and his expression broken, I felt a sting of guilt for asking this of him. But as the pain faded so did the world, I was free of servitude, and the world was free of another monster, they deserved the freedom more than I.