Chapter Text
"Colin Bridgerton, I… I love you," Penelope stammered. Her kind doe eyes glimmering, her lips trembling from the confession.
"I had to tell you because I…" she paused, taking a deep breath. "I know you're dating Marina, but I just had to tell you that I've always loved you."
Colin stood very still, strangely frozen to the ground. He was shocked and wasn't sure what was happening. Did Penelope Featherington, his childhood friend, his sister's best friend, just say I love you?! He broke out into a sweat. He wasn't sure how to respond. He didn't have time to comprehend this situation.
Penelope started to blush. "Sa-say something," she murmured. "Anything, please." Penelope clasped her hands together in front of her, almost like a coping mechanism.
Colin had no inkling he was numbed and silent this whole time. He didn't know how long he stood in front of Penelope, mouth sewn shut. A few more seconds to the excruciating silence, he finally broke.
"Penelope, I am so sorry, I- I don't know what to say," Colin eventually succeeded in choking out. "Oh, Penelope, I am so sorry," he murmured.
Penelope shook her head, tears stinging her eyes as she sniffled to keep her tears at bay.
"No, no, of course not," her face fell as she laughed tensely. She couldn't hold it in anymore, tears rolling down her face.
"I-I'm sorry I even said anything." She stammered, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hands. "I just I just had to try," she sniffled sadly and turned to run away. Colin's heart squeezed at her dejected tone.
"Pen-Penelope!" he stretched out for her, grasping her hand.
Penelope sighed. "Colin, please just let me go so I can cry in a corner by myself," she said, trying to add a pep in her voice. She failed.
"Pen-"
"Okay then," she exhaled. "If not, can you do me a favor?"
"Of-of, course, anything!" Colin answered a little too quickly. He would do anything right now to kill the awkwardness, to make her and himself feel less awful than they did now.
"Can you..." she reddened even more.
"Kiss me?" she gazed up at him.
"gah….gah…," it was Colin's turn to sputter.
"I'm going to University soon, and I haven't been kissed, and I guess my first confession horribly crashed and burned," she lamented, her gazing dropping from his face to the ground. "With a kiss, I guess I could die tomorrow, and it'll be fine."
He shook his head vigorously. "No-no, Penelope, you just took me by surprise. I'm just, just shocked." He then scowled. "And you won't die! God Penelope, you're young, and you're going to University! That's the best time of your life!" He gripped her shoulders.
"Please." she stared up at him with those large pleading doe eyes. He was doomed. He couldn't deny her like this. This is the least he owed her,
He leaned down and captured her mouth in a slow kiss. A warmth slowly spread from where his lips touched her straight to his chest. He knew it was her first kiss and did not want to scare her. The least he could do was give her a memorable first kiss. He snaked an arm around her waist while his other hand captured the back of her head to deepen the kiss. There was something so tender in her touch. He finally broke the kiss.
"Thank you," she whispered, giving him a rueful smile, touching her lips. "Goodbye."
His alarm rang.
Colin shot up from his bed, growling, he slammed his alarm to stop. Cold crept up his spine as he used his blanket to wipe the sweat off his face. He did not wake up on the right side of the bed.
What the hell?
Colin shielded his eyes from the light that poured into his room with his arm and sank backward onto his bed. It's been a while since he had this dream. Why did he constantly remember this one unfortunate time?
It was strange. He's broken up with so many girls, but none ever invaded his dreams like this. And this memory incurred at least once a year or so. For God's sake, he didn't even date Penelope. Penelope was just his sister's best friend, his friend he grew up with. A friend that was in love with him for so long, a friend that left a mark on him with just an innocent kiss.
It haunted him for years. Seven years to be exact.
He recollects vividly that he tried reaching out to her after that incident, but she refused to talk to him, coming up with plenty of excuses. He didn't know how she succeeded in avoiding him so well. They were neighbors, for God's sake! Suddenly, without warning, the next thing that happened was, she was gone.
"Off to some Ivy league in America," Portia Featherington had said nonchalantly, not too interested in giving Colin more information.
He believed she was going to a University in London, he knew she got into some of the best schools here, but she chose to go far away? He didn't even know she applied to The States. He was shocked and utterly dumbfounded when he found out.
On top of that, Eloise was devastated and enraged with Colin for the longest time. She was the only one who knew about Penelope's confession to him. Eloise blamed him for her moving instead of going to University in the country, leaving her behind. It was one of the only times Eloise said she hated him, and Eloise never said that to any of her siblings. Even if she was furious at them.
"Why? Why did you have to go for her cousin?" Eloise all but shrieked the day she found out Penelope confessed to Colin. "Penelope has been in love with you for years and just had to break her heart, not only by going for her cousin but also rejecting her."
Ah, she didn't know about the kiss. That was one thing Penelope left out, though he was not sure why. For a while, Eloise refused to talk to Colin, but she came around as time went by.
"I am sorry for being mad at you," Eloise said after a couple of weeks of being mad at him. "You can't make someone love you, and that's okay. So I am sorry for snapping at you. Penelope moving away is not your fault. She even said so."
Colin remembered flinching at what she said and told her he was so very sorry he didn't notice Penelope's feelings for him.
"Even if you did, what would you have done?" Eloise asked. And truthfully, Colin didn't know; all he knew was that he felt dreadful after Penelope left. Like a part of him vanished. And there was something she left on him when he kissed her lips. Though, he did not know what that 'something' was. It just tugged at his chest for a long time.
He'd ask Eloise how Penelope was doing throughout the years, especially when Eloise moved to the States for work. He assumed she'd meet with Penelope. But Eloise would always shrug and had no answers for him. He didn't know if she was sincere, or she just didn't want to talk about Penelope to him. Colin tried looking for Penelope on social media, but she hid well, locking her accounts only to "request to follow."
All his requests were rejected.
Colin both loved and disliked coming home. He loved it because home always felt comfortable whenever he was away, and as always, there was no place like home.
However, he disliked it because his mother, Violet Bridgerton, bless her, as an amazing mother she is, was extremely overbearing over her children. Every time he came home, it was a conversation of, 'When are you going to get married? Your brother and sister are married, your other brother is in a long-term relationship! What about you?'
Oof, at at his age, Colin would've like for his mother to let him live his life. For the most part, she did, until he came home, and then it was like he was on her turf, not his. Violet once said to him the very first time he left home and came back: "As long as you're under my roof, you are going to listen to your mother rant about how she wants her children to be happy."
He was currently cornered, a prisoner in his mother's house until Daphne's wedding, which was a week away. He did try to get out of it and would've been happy to stay with his other siblings, who had their own houses and flats, but they all knew if they didn't stay at their mother's, it would break her heart. Violet was great making guilt-tripping her kids. So, all the elder Bridgerton's that didn't have lodgings directly in London, such as Eloise (who now lived in the States) and Colin (who frequently traveled), were forced to stay at Violet's. Benedict was over today for moral support.
That and Colin refused to go out with him to drink if he didn't come over for dinner, at least to save him from conversations like these. Though not like Benedict was helping him, his brother much rather delighted in his pain.
"Colin, did you not bring anyone to your sister's wedding?" his mother questioned.
Oh no, not even home for a day, his mother was already accosting him at the dinner table. Benedict and Eloise were silently laughing next to him. Hyacinth and Gregory chuckled. They enjoyed his pain.
"I would've brought Marina-" he snickered knowing his mother would be taken off guard with that.
His mother frowned. "You are seeing her again? Weren't you with that other girl-Karen?Monica? Anna? Or something"
"All of the above," Benedict chuckled. Colin shot him a dirty look. Okay, so he dated a lot of girls, so what?
"See, I would've brought someone if my family weren't so judgy," Colin murmured. For the amount his mother badgered him to settle down, she liked none of his past girlfriends. She did not hide her dislike for any of them, and she wondered why he never settles down.
"Well, it isn't like she's a long term girlfriend or anything," Violet said a matter-of-factly.
"It's the reason why you probably aren't in a long-term relationship," Eloise muttered under her breath.
Colin choked, his eyes wide. He glared at Eloise, who rolled her eyes at him.
"Mother, how would you know who'd I end up with?"
Although, she was right. Marina was never serious to him, but he didn't want to give his mother another thing to be right about. He wouldn't hear the end of it.
He dated Marina ages years ago and sometimes would see her here and there as a friend, but nothing would happen. To be exact, his mother and his family disliked Marina ever since he started dating her years ago.
It was one of the many reasons why he knew he and Marina couldn't work. That, and Penelope. After Penelope's confession, it all fell apart with Marina, and they just remained friends.
Violet shrugged. "A mother just knows. Colin, I wish you would be more serious about your life," she paused. "Correction, with your family life."
His mother knew he was serious about his work life but definitely not for his family life. He was in his late twenties, for God's sake, far too early. He really hoped his mother would stop harping him.
"Well, mum, onto better news, guess who's coming today!" Benedict finally chimed in, trying to help Colin out. Finally , Colin sighed in relief, shooting his brother a 'thank you' look.
Benedict winked back at him but then roared a loud "OW!" and grabbed his shin, glaring at Eloise. Did Eloise just kick him?
Violet nodded, her focus moving away from Colin for just a second. "Yes! I am delighted that … OH!" Violet dropped her fork, eyes widening.
"Mom?" Eloise asked, worried.
"Your friend!" she quirked, clapping her hands together animatedly. "Your friend, yes!!" she grinned. "She can be Colin's plus one, oh, Colin, you would absolutely love her because I love her and you know-,"
"Absolutely not!" Eloise cut her off. "Absolutely not, not my friend." She panicked as she shook her head vigorously. "Absolutely. Not."
"Oh wow, you handled that well," Benedict muttered under his breath to her.
Huh? Colin frowned. What was he missing?
"Who? You have friends?" Colin inquired playfully.
Eloise was a hard person to get along with. She was one of those hard-headed, extremely opinionated people that usually rubbed off wrong on everyone. The idea she has a friend she was bringing to this wedding was intriguing.
Eloise rolled her eyes and stuck her tongue out at him. Her attitude then changed, her eyes downcast, and she appears nervous. "She's my uh best friend and my work wife," Eloise said nervously. Why was she so shifty?
Colin forgot to clue into his sister's life as he traveled a lot, but Eloise worked as a screenwriter in Los Angeles, so whoever it was must be American. Was his mother really going to set him up with Eloise's friend? No, thank you.
"Oh, then you can't set me up with her mother," Colin said sweetly. "She is Eloise's work wife."
Violet frowned. "Even if she's Eloise's work wife, she's not Eloise's real wife. Why are you so weird, Eloise? Just say it's Penelope Featherington. Colin knows her."
Colin blinked. He felt his heart stop. "Excuse me?"
"Don't you remember Penelope Featherington?" Violet asked, confused. Colin stopped breathing and continued blinking. He couldn't forget Penelope. The last look she gave him imprinted in his brain that continued to give him nightmares once a year or so and the burn of her kiss still lingered on his. Seven years later.
"Oh God, Colin, don't tell me you don't remember Penelope? The little girl that was always with Eloise and you-," Violet said impatiently.
"No-no, I know her," of course he did. "What about... her?"
"She's staying with us since her family moved away from London!"
"Here? To stay until the wedding?" he squeaked, his voice sounded really distant.
"Yes! It's going to be like old times again," Benedict remarked, grinning at his brother. Colin was already lost in his thoughts.
"I was uninformed…." he muttered. "But yay!" he squeaked fakely.
Colin was furious. The first thing he did was corner Eloise when he got the chance.
"Why didn't you tell me Pen was coming?" Colin demanded, confronting his sister in the hallway. "You didn't even tell me you've been working with her all this time! You were both in LA! Working together… DAILY! For years! Every time I ask you if you heard from her, you don't tell me anything!"
Eloise shrugged. "I mean after you broke my best friend's heart as if I wanted to update you on her life, Colin." She frowned. "I didn't think you cared?"
Colin groaned. "Eloise, of course, I care. Why do you think I asked? She grew up with us. She's a precious friend…"
She confessed, then asked me to kiss her, and then she disappeared before giving me time to unravel the situation. Of course, I care.
Eloise shrugged. "How would I know you were bothered that Pen's coming, Colin? Geez, not everything is about you." She rolled her eyes.
"Clearly, you thought it was uncomfortable. That's why you kept it from me," Colin gritted. "Sounds like everyone knew except me."
Eloise's eyes grew as what Colin said sunk in. She frowned as she sat on what he said. "Oh my god… you're right. I didn't even know why I actively avoided telling you." she shook her head, clearly disappointed in herself. "I apologize. It's just when it comes to Pen, I turn on a weird switch. I am very protective because of what you did."
Colin frowned. Eloise immediately raised her hands to indicate no and answered. "That's not what I meant. I mean, I don't blame you for anything! It's just habit, I am sorry. Also, you shouldn't care. Penelope is totally over you if that's what you're worried about. She has not once asked about you all this time, so you don't have to worry if that was your concern."
Colin scowled. A pang shot through his chest. "She… she's never asked about me?"
"Yeah, and she's bringing a plus one."