Musings of a Tired Heart

by Esbe

Summary:

This is going to be a series of shorts (very short). It's just some musings on Jeeves' part. Think of it as a diary if it helps. Or a series of letters or something.
Definitely unrequited feelings at this point. Just needed to be written out. Don't worry I do firmly believe these two got together heart and soul and body.

Chapter 1: October 16 194_

You brought home a bunch of reddened leaves and said it was Nature’s way of forgetting. Let go of the old for good so we don’t ever remember it again.

Forgetting! That I could forget this pain. This discontent.

I wish I could love another. If only I could find some ease in someone else. Be cared for. Give more. Have more.

More than this. Because there is no more here. There will never be more. No caresses. No smiles. No glances. No ever after.

There is only this.

There will ever only be this.

I wish but I am too human for that.

I glory in the pain. I nourish my bruises and plenish my wounds. I look at it in awe and rub it like a tongue against a sore tooth that one cannot let be. I run sharp nails to abrade a scrape that isn’t allowed to scab.