Chapter 1: I Have To Do What Now?
Notes:
There is some pretty major cannon divergence in this, just so you know. I played around with it... A lot...
Chapter Text
Bakugo Katsuki had only one goal in mind for as long as he could remember. He was going to surpass All Might and become the Number 1 hero. It was the only thing he had ever really cared about. Everything that he did, was done with that very purpose in mind.
Going to UA, interning with the Number Four hero, and picking fights with anyone who had ever dared to try to make him feel inferior, all of it.
Winning was what he was the best at, and yet none of that had prepared him for the politics of being a hero. He had clawed himself up to the Number Two spot within a few years after graduation, and yet it felt like that's where he was perpetually stuck.
All because he didn’t kiss ass like that damn nerd. According to his agency, he was a PR nightmare. He inspired feelings of safety and security, but he didn’t make people feel all warm and gooey inside the way Deku did with his baby kissing antics.
Tch. Like hell he’d ever resort to that.
That was before a few terse words to a reporter dropped him so low in the popularity polls that he was now in danger of losing his Number Two spot. That is, unless his PR team could work a miracle.
Little did he know, that miracle was going to put him through dating show hell.
“I still can’t believe you said that to her.” Annoyance flickered in the older man’s tone more than anything. “What on earth were you thinking?” His agent Aizawa raddled through some papers on his desk before pounding his forehead into his palm as more spilled onto the floor.
“I was thinking that it was the truth, and that I didn’t have time for that shit,” Bakugo responded with an indignant snarl.
“The truth?” Aizawa actually laughed at that, causing Bakugo's eyes to narrow into hard slits.
“Just because you believe something, doesn’t make it so.” Aizawa continued.
Bakugo ground his teeth. “You asked me what I was thinking and I told you. So just fix it already! If not I’ll find someone else who can.”
Aizawa sighed rolling his eyes, “I’ve had this job for what, nine years now? Good luck finding anyone else willing to handle all the shit situations you manage to put yourself in.” His lips quirked up slightly at Bakugo’s silence as he finished his statement.
A few moments passed and Bakugo stiffened, “All I said was; that’s stupid, I have better things to do.”
Aizawa started rubbing his temples, “Yeah, to a pretty young TV reporter who had just publicly confessed her feelings for you... And one of the most popular young reporters currently in television at that. She’s Uwabami’s only daughter! She’s the sweetheart of Good Morning America. You might as well have told Shirley Temple to ‘Fuck off’. Do you have any idea how many people shipped the two of you together?”
Bakugo tensed visibly, anger now flowing through his body and coming off of him in waves as he yelled.
“She put me on the spot in front of everyone. What was I supposed to do?” Bakugo started pacing the floor like a caged leopard. “WHY. WOULD THEY. SHIP ME. WITH THAT FUCKING EXTRA? I DON’T EVEN KNOW HER DAMN NAME!”
He balled up his fists as he continued pacing frantically, like he was searching the room looking for something to punch. Finally after having let some of his anger run its course, he stopped, and turned back to glance at Aizawa. “How is it my responsibility to cater to these strangers’ fantasies?” The frustration in his voice was palpable.
Aizawa nodded slowly, taking in everything that Bakugo had just erupted. “They shipped you with her because she followed you intently. She was always very open with her followers about how she felt about you. If you’d watched her show, even once, you would have known. She was always first on the scene to interview you, and your exchanges with her are probably the closest they’ve seen you interact with a woman, ever.”
Bakugo clenched and flexed his fist in frustration and Aizawa rolled his eyes in annoyance.
“I’m not saying that you had to accept her confession, but you definitely could have been more tactful in your rejection. You’re the Number Two hero, Bakugo, people do like you, they just want to see you happy with someone.”
Bakugo finally sat down in the chair across from him, crossing his arms like a petulant child. “I will be happy, once I make it to Number One. I don’t need some hanger-on holding me back.”
Aizawa pinched the bridge of his nose at Bakugo’s response and finally looked at him. “Bakugo, you are a great hero, you are, but if you ever hope to beat Deku for the number one spot than you have to get more people to like you. Publicly calling sweet, young girls 'stupid' for doing so does the exact opposite.”
“People need to be able to look to you for comfort, not just security. Parents have to be okay with their kids emulating you. Men have to want to be you, which brings me to women. Women need to think of you as a good man. Not the kind that makes them cry on live television for no good reason.”
Aizawa gave him a pointed look before continuing. “You have to be desirable. You have to be the whole package because, as the Number One hero, you are saying that’s what you are. That you’re the best of the best, in all aspects, not just combat. If you can’t do all of these things, then you‘ll never get there.”
Bakugo took a deep breath, flexing his palms and closing his eyes the way he’d been taught to keep himself from sparking and raging. Deep breaths, take deep breaths. A few techniques he’d had to learn after his first four PR Managers had quit, citing his temper as the reason.
“So, what do you suggest?” He grumbled, still looking at the floor.
“We need to do something very public to endear you to the people again. We need to give them what they want. I made some phone calls, then talked it over with the rest of the agency, and we’ve come to an agreement. You are going to take a couple months off of hero work, and you are going to be the next Bachelor.”
Bakugo snorted. He would have laughed, if he hadn’t thought that it was far too ridiculous and beneath him to even be funny.
“I’m sorry, what?” He was shaking his head before the words even left his throat. “You’re joking.”
Aizawa straightened up and looked him dead in the face, not even a trace of amusement littered his features. “Actually, I am quite serious. The people need to see a more human side to you. They need to believe that you are in fact capable of love.”
All the blood drained from Bakugo’s face, “No way in Hell!”
Aizawa maintained his glare, not giving an inch. “You want to become the Number One hero... don’t you?”
Bakugo opened his mouth to argue, then closed it two seconds later, his mind reeling from the insanity of the situation. His head fell into his hands, and a strangled sound escaped from his throat. Something halfway between a groan and a yell.
“I’ve talked to the producers, they’ve been dying to do a hero version of the Bachelor for quite sometime now. I agreed on the condition that they make you look good, or as good as humanly possible. Their show is watched regularly by millions, you couldn’t ask for better publicity.”
Bakugo couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This sounded like sheer torture to him and he wasn’t here for it. “There has to be another way.”
“Your polls dropped 47% after you told Yua Uwabami, that’s that reporter’s name by the way, that she was an idiot for liking you... Fourty Seven Percent! That’s almost half! This is bad, Bakugo. She was one of your biggest public supporters.”
“I get that,” Bakugo said through gritted teeth, “but how is me acting like a schmuck and fake dating a dozen women on national television going to fix that?”
Aizawa raised an eyebrow at him, “Have you ever watched the show?”
Now it was Bakugo’s turn to roll his eyes. “Why would I want to watch some tool publicly bumble around claiming to be in love with multiple strange women he just met?”
Aizawa continued on, “You just told the entire country that loving you was dumb, and that you didn’t have time for it. Now you need to prove to them that that’s not the case. The only way to fix this is for them to see you make time for it. To have the public watch you make time for women who love you, reciprocate that love, and propose to one of them. That is the entire premise of that show.”
“Propose?!” Bakugo balked at the statement. “Oh hell no! I ain’t getting married over this shit. I ain’t getting married ever! Period.” He seethed.
Aizawa looked at him sympathetically which only irked Bakugo further. “You don’t have to actually get married after, most don’t. Just fake date the girl for a few months after, then post something sad on Instagram about how you guys tried but it just didn’t work out. That you guys still care deeply for one another, and will continue to love and support one another from afar. It’s that simple.”
Bakugo clenched his jaw, this wasn’t happening. He was losing control of the situation. He needed to focus, he needed to find a way out. He needed time to himself to think.
“Dead eyes, I do believe that you’ve lost your goddamn mind. This is ridiculous,” he hissed, turning to leave.
Aizawa scoffed, the faintest traces of a chuckle escaping from him. “Perhaps. But Deku has a wife...”
Bakugo gripped the door handle so hard as he opened it, that he accidentally pulled the door slightly off its hinges. “What the fuck is your point, toilet paper man?!” He hollered across the room.
“Just that if he can find someone, even as dedicated as he is, and still manage to beat you out, then what’s stopping you?”
“He got lucky,” Bakugo mumbled while looking at the ground. Then he jerked the clearly broken door and attempted to slam it shut behind him, failing miserably.
“Anyways, call me when you’re ready to fix things. Your leave from hero work officially starts now,” Aizawa called after him.
Bakugo shook his head, running a sweaty hand down his face as he exited. He needed a drink and he needed one bad.
~~~~
Bakugo sulked the entire way home. The city was far too loud and noisy. He could never think straight surrounded by all that constant stimuli, that was Tokyo.. He passed a news stand. A picture of that reporter with a mic pressed up against his chest, and him looking at her like she’d just sprouted a second head was splattered across the front page.
Bakugo didn’t even bother to read the title, instead he just kept on stalking down the street, lifting his hoodie up to cover his head from prying eyes.
He got on the bus just before it started to rain and leaned against the window until he saw his face on one of the big screens in the square. They were replaying his interview, he noted and involuntarily cringed.
He’d just apprehended a group of lower level thugs who’d got it in their head that they could steal a sports car on his watch. Bakugo watched as the TV version of himself proudly strolled up to her after hearing his name. He’d gone to her first because she always praised him the most, made him look the best, but this time it was different.
Seeing the newsclip, Bakugo could tell she was nervous and he tensed up as he watched the interaction unfold. The petite blonde on screen went about her usual flattery as the onscreen version of himself ate it up.
Her demeanor changed slightly as she continued. “As you know, following your hero work over the past year or so has brought me great joy! You are my absolute favorite person to interview.”
Bakugo slammed his palm into his face as his TV persona grinned pridefully, responding with, “Thank you, I always enjoy being interviewed by you."
Gaining a confidence boost from his praise, the blonde girl on screen continued, “Actually I have felt very strongly about you for quite some time now, and as you know it’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow.”
TV Bakugo looked confused as she forced out her next two sentences. “You are my number one hero, and I love you. Will you spend your Valentine’s Day with me?”
TV Bakugo’s eyes got wide and luckily the bus pulled away before Bakugo had to relive his answer. He didn’t think he’d ever even seen Deku cry as much as she had after she awkwardly signed off of her news program, and the other reporters in the vicinity made sure to capture it all.
He hadn’t known what to say at that point so he just dipped the fuck out. Bakugo slammed his head into the back of his seat. Stupid, stupid, stupid. This whole situation was so stupid. It would almost be comical if it wasn’t causing him so much shit.
What was that woman thinking? How could she claim to love him when she clearly didn’t even know the first thing about him? She wasn’t in love with him, she was in love with the idea of him. He’d never settle for just being just her number one. Like that was some kind of consolation prize? Bakugo didn’t win consolation prizes, it was almost offensive. Love? bullshit! And how stupid do you have to be to do something like that, let alone in public? Bakugo was a very private person. He always had been. The fact that she hadn’t picked up on that was just another thing that proved her words were fake and self-serving.
And Valentine's Day? He hadn’t even known it was coming up. Was that even a thing that people still celebrated after elementary school?
Bakugo didn’t know and he didn’t care. He honestly couldn’t think of anything worse than spending an entire day with a stranger out in public, doing romantic, couple-y type bullshit and listening to her drone on and on about her fake love drivel. Not when he could better spend that day fighting towards his goal of Number One hero. He’d done her a favor by rejecting her. She had completely blindsided him, and now he was the one dealing with the backlash.
When Bakugo finally got home he was relieved to see Kirishima stuffing his face in the light of the fridge. Kirishima looked up from his plate, mouth full of food as Bakugo trudged through the door.
“I need a drink, Kiri,” Bakugo said, kicking off his boots and unceremoniously throwing himself onto the couch.
“Things went well, I take it,” Kirishima responded sarcastically.
“What’s the strongest thing we have?” Bakugo continued through a muffled pillow.
“That good, huh?” Kirishima asked rummaging through cabinets in the kitchen. He entered the living room momentarily with two glasses and a bottle that Bakugo had never seen before.
“Volcanic Gin,” Kirishima declared to Bakugo’s raised eyebrow. “I was going to save this for your birthday but... You’ve had a pretty rough week so...”
Bakugo didn’t even hesitate before downing the drink in the old fashioned glass that Kirishima handed him. It was strong and heavy, almost creamy in its consistency and... “Is that....cumin I taste?”
Kirishima laughed, nodding his head ever so slightly. “Supposedly it’s rosemary and sage, but it has such a curry flavor to it right? It tastes spicy, like Indian food!”
Bakugo reaches over to pour himself some more. “Damn Kiri, you did good!” He turned the short blue/greenish bottle over to read the back. “Why do they call it Volcanic?”
Kirishima just shrugged. “It’s distilled with volcanic stones or some shit, I don’t really know.”
“Fascinating” Bakugo mused, “I’ve only ever drank gin that tasted like pine needles.” He faked a gag, and Kirishima nodded again taking a sip of his own drink, “So, what’s the occasion?” He prodded.
“I’m royally fucked,” Bakugo said, toasting thin air.
“Can they fix it?” Kirishima questioned, eyeing Bakugo as he downed some more gin.
“Perhaps,” Bakugo mumbled skeptically, “but they want me to do something, and... It’s going to suck some major ass.”
Kirishima raised an eyebrow at him, taking the bottle away before Bakugo could pour himself yet another glass. “Tell me.”
Bakugo grimaced, “They want me to be the next Bachelor.”
And just like that Kirishima was doubled over laughing so hard he was almost in pain. Tears formed in the corners of his eyes as Bakugo reached for the bottle in an attempt to remove it from Kirishima’s now flailing hand.
“Why?” Kirishima asked the second he could breathe again.
“I don’t know. To prove that I can love or be nice to women, or some shit like that. It’s going to suck.”
Kirishima looked at him seriously for a minute, “Dude, only you could make openly dating 30 women at the same time sound like some horrible chore.”
Bakugo glared at him, “That’s because it is!!! I am the Number Two hero, Shitty Hair,” Bakugo puffed out his chest and pushed Kirishima’s shoulder as he said it. Then he deflated a bit, “It’s embarrassing.”
Kirishima shook his head in exasperation, “Again, only you would be embarrassed to have 30 women shamelessly fawning all over you on live TV.”
Bakugo shivered as he just realized something. “30 women... is a lot...” Kirishima nodded, still grinning and Bakugo downed another drink.
Chapter 2: This Bitch
Summary:
Bakugo flies to California and meets his production team for the show. One member in particular really gets under his skin. Basically Bakugo is an asshole, and Uraraka takes no prisoners.
Notes:
Initially this was all part of the first chapter, but I was convinced it might be better to break it up into two instead.
Also Bakugo is about 29 in this.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
One week later, Bakugo was still hungover. He’d been drinking quite a bit during his time off. They wouldn’t even let him train in the heroes’ gym during his leave. Then they flew him out to California two days previously to prepare for the show. He really didn’t want to be here.
Shitty Hair hadn’t been allowed to come with him, so Bakugo was truly on his own with these people. Except for Aizawa, but Aizawa didn’t count. He was one of them as far as Bakugo was concerned.
They were riding in a car together now, Aizawa prattling on as Bakugo rubbed at his sunglass-covered eyes.
“Today we are going to meet with some show execs, and sign some papers. They’re going to introduce you to your team, and take you into hair and make up. You’re going to get some photos made for promotional material before they take you for your first interview. It will be a closed initial interview, just them getting to know you so no cameras, and then they have a few personality tests for you to take back to your hotel room to complete. After that, they’ll start picking female candidates based on your test results and interview questions.”
Bakugo covered his mouth, already starting to feel dizzy from the car ride and subsequent hangover. “Are you even listening?” Aizawa chided. Bakugo waved for Aizawa to continue not trusting himself with opening his mouth just yet.
“You don’t look very good.” Aizawa stated flatly earning himself a ‘no shit’ glare from Bakugou as the car came to an abrupt stop, causing Bakugo to lurch forward and promptly empty his guts all over the floor of the limo.
“Classy.” Aizawa replied sarcastically, handing him the silk handkerchief from his suit as they exited the vehicle. Bakugo wiped his mouth and then followed. This day was going to be an even shitier day, and he already knew it.
An energetic woman with light green hair tied up in a bright orange headband had come out to greet them. She smiled so brightly at Aizawa she was practically glowing. Aizawa said something to her and she immediately put her hand on his shoulder affectionately and started giggling.
The second he stumbled out of the car, Aizawa cringed like he smelled bad. “We’re going to have to get him cleaned up, the executives can’t see him like this.”
“I can stall them for a bit., Ms.Fukukado could you please see to it that this man,” he gestured vaguely at Bakugo’s disheveled state “looks presentable by the time I get back?”
The girl with the Aquamarine hair snapped to attention, “I’m on it boss! My team is the best at what they do!”
Aizawa nodded, “I’ll leave you to it then.” And with that his PR manager turned to leave.
Bakugo couldn’t believe his eyes. “Wait, you’re leaving me?” The number 2 hero typically would have been embarrassed to sound so needy but his head was currently pounding too much for him to care.
When they were working, Aizawa was almost always around to make sure Bakugo didn’t say the wrong thing and ended up in the next day's paper.
Aizawa sighed and then turned to look at the woman to his right and then at Bakugou, sizing them up as if making a decision. “You’re in good hands, just try to keep your mouth shut, huh?” And with that Bakugo was truly abandoned in this foreign place with these foreign people.
The green haired woman didn’t waste a second before linking arms with him and leading him away. Normally he would have yelled at her to get off of him but he found it was easier to walk using her for balance. Aizawa must really trust this woman to have left him with her like this. And Aizawa didn’t trust people easily.
“How do you know Aizawa?” Bakugo grumbled as they headed inside.
The green haired woman tilted her head to the side and then beamed, “Oh, you mean Shota?” Bakugo halted, coughing in his surprise. He’d known that man for almost 9 years now and he’d never heard anyone call him by his first name. Bakugo was almost under the impression that he didn’t even have a first name.
The green haired woman stopped and rubbed his back gently as finished coughing. “I’ve known him since we were kids, practically my entire life. I keep asking him to marry me, but, alas,” she brought the back of her right hand up to her forehead feinting distress, “He just keeps turning me down.”
“And your quirk?” Bakugo asked, trying his best to size the woman up.
“Oh, I make people laugh!” She responded immediately giggling and raising her eyebrows at him.
Bakugo stared at her slightly horrified. For the life of him he couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. In fact she kinda treated herself like a joke.. Ms.Joke, she revealed.
“Not that I’d use it on you right now, in your state you’d probably just end up puking again. Come on hun,” Ms. Joke said as she led him down a particularly ornate hallway. “Let’s get you fixed up.”
Ms. Joke led him through a series of hallways that Bakugo wasn’t even sure he’d be able to navigate sober. Then she practically kicked down the door that they had stopped in front of, dragging him inside and shutting it immediately.
The room was large with a big couch in the middle. A few other pieces of furniture here and there and then mirrors and vanitie lining the right wall. It opened into three other rooms, one of which resembled a kitchen. Minus the mirrors, it looked kind of like a large apartment.
“This is the old makeup room,” Ms. Joke elaborated, “but Ochako and I have taken it over as a kind of second employee lounge.”
Ms. Joke glanced around the room then yelled, “OCHAKO!!” Bakugo winced at the noise, and Ms. Joke yelled again in a sing-song kind of voice, “Ochako! Ochako!!!!OCHAKO!!”
Then someone else from the other room yelled back even louder, “WHAT IS IT?!?”
Ms.Joke yelled again, “I NEED YOU TO MAKE SOME OF THAT GOOD HANGOVER TEA YOU MADE MONOMA LAST YEAR!.”
Bakugo’s ears were ringing when a yell came from the other room, “THAT’S SOME STRONG STUFF, ARE YOU SURE IT’S REALLY THAT BAD?!”
“COME SEE FOR YOURSELF!” Ms.Joke bellowed and Bakugo rounded on her screaming himself.
“COULD YOU FUCKING NOT?!”
He didn’t want to be here. His head was pounding and in that moment he would have given Hitler a handjob just to take a nap uninterrupted.
“What a mess,” Someone had crystallized his thoughts exactly and he turned to see who. A pretty brunette was standing in the doorway to his left, barefoot in cut off shorts and a loose fitting dark heather grey t-shirt that said Runaway on it in scripted white letters.
She looked very at home here and her dark eyes were absolutely captivating. She was blatantly looking him up and down and in that moment Bakugo’s temperature rose when realized that he was the mess to which she was referring.
“What did you just call me? You pink cheeked bitch!” Bakugo bristled. Uraraka leaned against the door frame opposite him smiling? No, smirking.
“The shower is this way, sparky,” she nodded behind her. “You’re going to need one, follow me.” And with that she turned on her heels and left Bakugo gaping in the next room.
Ms.Joke was grinning from ear to ear at their exchange. “Go, go,” she shooed him off towards his doom.
~~~
The hot water running down his body felt amazing. The steam was soothing and the soap left in the shower smelled like summer rain and lavender.
Katsuki didn’t want to leave, but he knew that he had to. Stepping out of the shower however, he immediately noticed something off about the room. After he finished drying himself off with a plush pink bath towel he realized what it was. His clothes were gone.
Hastily he wrapped said towel around his waist and stormed out of the bathroom. That girl with the pink cheeks was sitting at a table reading the newspaper, casually sipping something out of a ceramic mug. “What the hell did you do with my clothes?” He demanded.
She looked up at him and turned slightly more pink as she took in his half naked state, promptly putting down her newspaper. “Relax Tarzan. They were all sweaty and reeked of vomit. So I sent them away to be cleaned. Besides they were going to make you change for the photo shoot anyways.” She nodded to the couch where a fresh navy blue suit lay.
Her eyes roamed his half naked body one more time, and Bakugo felt himself starting to turn red. “And you couldn’t have just, I don’t know, put the suit in the bathroom for me?!” Bakugo scowled at her. But this girl continued to look back at him calmly. Seemingly still unfazed by his tantrums.
“You were using so much hot water in there that the bathroom was practically a sauna. If I let that suit get wrinkled like that I’d have had to listen to Monoma complain about it every time we saw your god damn picture. Which is going to be plastered everywhere, by the way, and trust me. He is far more annoying than you are intimidating.” She scowled back at him.
They stood there for a moment just glaring at each other when something dinged in the kitchen. Ochako got up immediately, ignoring him as he glared after her. She came back two minutes later with a cup of something hot that she then attempted to hand to him. “Here, drink this” she said in a far more pleasant tone of voice.
Bakugo eyed the cup suspiciously, “What is it?”
“Just drink it, it’ll help with your hangover.” She continued gently pushing the cup even closer to him. He took it reluctantly and sniffed while she continued to look at him expectantly, motioning for him to take a sip.
He complied begrudgingly and instantly felt some relief. The tea tasted amazing, sweet like honey but with some kind of peppery spice to it. The heat warmed him up right to his core.
He could feel his tension softening, and his nausea slipping away. He took another sip, the sharp pains piercing his head were beginning to fade into a dull ache. He felt like he was melting into the cup. It was addicting.
This tea was fantastic. Bakugo couldn’t remember the last time he’d had something this good before. Something that he hadn’t made himself, but he’d be damned before he’d tell her that.
“Do you like it?” She asked cautiously. Bakugo paused as she looked at him expectantly.
He looked her dead in the eye, “It tastes like shit,” he said before taking another long sip. “Probably one of the worst tasting things I’ve ever put in my mouth.” He continued this time practically gulping it down. “It’s truly disgusting.”
She raised an eyebrow at him as he continued to down it. “What?” He snapped back, “I’m just dehydrated is all.”
A knowing smirk quirked at the corners of her mouth as she walked past him. “I’ll leave you to it. I have to change clothes myself,” then she quipped, “let me know when you’re ready.”
“Seriously though, what’s in this?” Bakugo asked, ignoring her closing statement and continuing their previous conversation.
The brunette smiled, gesturing dramatically with her right hand like a spell caster, “Crack.” And then with that she left him standing alone in an empty room wearing nothing but a tiny pink bath towel and gorging himself on some wonderful mystery potion that she had concocted.
Maybe that was her quirk? Soothing people? Healing them? Charming them? Disarming them? It would explain why she didn’t seem the least bit concerned by his outbursts. Or feel the need to kiss up to him like so many others. But why did he care? He shouldn’t. Who was she anyways? Some production worker for the show he was on?
A show in which he was going to have to date, what was it, 30 something other women and then propose to one of them? Bakugo groaned internally, well maybe if the other women were anything like her, this might not be the worst version of hell ever.
Not her though. He’d find someone better, someone who hadn’t witnessed him stumbling around, covered in sweat, smelling like vomit and whining. Someone who would answer his questions a little more directly and without sass.
Oh boy, he had a long way to go. But even as the tea drowned out the pounding in his head it was slowly being replaced by Ms. Jokes voice screaming the brunette’s name “Ochako!! Ochako!!” Over and over again in his head till it was practically ringing.
Ochako huh... What was this girl’s quirk? It had to be something emotionally manipulative. Quirks like that were a dime a dozen in the television industry, and Bakugo was determined to find out the nature of the one she was using on him. Either way he couldn’t let the girl with the pink cheeks know that it was working.
~~
When he walked into the next room Ochako did a double take. The dark navy contrasted so well with his ash blonde hair and vermillion eyes. It fit him just right in all the right places.
“Wow, You clean up nicely!” She said, her eyes still wide.
Bakugo scoffed tugging at the tie currently restricting his neck, “Don’t act so surprised.”
Ochako couldn’t help but smile at the defensiveness of his words and Bakugo immediately averted his eyes like she’d done something indecent. She frowned.
“Let’s go do this thing already!” He said charging towards the door.
“Oh, okay,” she said, following him in her new business casual attire. He burst out into the hallway and took a right before he realized he actually had no idea where he was going. Ochacko followed him quietly until he stopped.
Bakugo hesitated like he was about to ask her something but couldn’t quite bring himself to, and Ochako seized that moment to respond smugly, “Yes?”
“Where did they want us to meet with everyone?” Bakugo grumbled.
“In the atrium,” Ochako responded vaguely, not even trying to hide her amusement.
“The atrium... Right...” Bakugo continued on walking clearly frustrated. After they’d been walking around for another 10 min he finally stopped and said, “And the atrium is?”
Ochacko grinned, “Follow me,” she replied, gently patting him on his arm, and heading back the way that they had come. FOlloW mE, Bakugo mentally mocked her, rolling his eyes and making a face before going after her.
“So what’s your quirk, Pink Cheeks?” Bakugo asked as she led them down another corridor.
“Eh? Oh it’s not important, I rarely use it anyways.”
Bakugo furrowed his brow in confusion, “Why is that?”
Ochako shrugged, clearly wanting to change the subject, “I just don’t. I don’t like using it.” That stopped Bakugou in his tracks grabbing her wrist and halting her too. “Why?” Bakugo couldn’t imagine not being proud of or using his quirk. It didn’t make any sense to him... unless...
“It’s something really random and useless isn’t it? Don’t tell me, your cheeks light up like Rudolph when you get angry, or something like that?” That earned Bakugo a laugh from her. A real laugh. The first genuine laugh he’d heard in what seemed like forever that didn’t grate his nerves. It was a beautiful sound.
“No, nothing like that, I promise.” She replied smiling up at him again. He looked away again immediately, dropping her wrist and clearing his throat.
“What about stealth/invisibility?” He continued as they resumed their walk. That would explain how she had managed to sneak into the bathroom and take his clothes without him even noticing what was happening.
Ochako shook her head, “Nope, not even close.”
Then again he had been severely hungover and was practically taking a nap in that steam filled shower when she had.
“Hmmm,” Bakugo hummed like he was deep in thought. He didn’t want to make it too obvious what he really thought her power was.
“What about lie detection, or healing?” He asked. Lie detection was another common/useful quirk in many fields and healing would explain her miracle tea.
“That’s a negative, ghost rider,” she said as they continued, “It’s nothing that helpful unfortunately.”
“So nothing like mind control, emotional manipulation, or anything like that right?”
She shook her head again, “Nah, that’s Shinso’s specialty, not mine.”
So there was a mind controller here.. and his name was Shinso. Bakugo made a mental note to avoid anyone he encountered with that name and filled it away in the back of his mind.
She could be lying though. He’d have to ask around about her. She clearly wasn’t giving him an inch.
“Fine, if you won’t tell me, then I guess I’m just going to have to assume you’re some kind of quirk-less loser.” He asserted, a jab that would have prompted anyone back home to feel the need to immediately defend themselves, but she merely scoffed and shook her head, “Believe whatever you want Mr. Hot Shot, it makes no difference.”
Maybe she really didn’t have a quirk at all, Bakugo cringed at the thought. No way, there was no way. Not again. Quirkless people were rare, like one out of several million rare, but with Bakugo’s luck she probably was. Most people become so dependent on their quirks, they’d struggle to go even a few hours without using it. Bakugo wasn’t nearly that bad, but still he couldn’t imagine having a quirk and never using it at all.
So she had to be quirk-less. It was the only thing that made sense to Bakugo. And it would explain why she’d choose a career like this instead of doing anything worthwhile with her life.
They made it to the atrium just in time to see Aizawa shaking hands with three other men in business suits. Ms. Joke was watching him fondly and standing next to her were 5 other young men their age.
Ochako tugged on his sleeve for him to lean in and she whispered “t=Those are the other 5 members of your support team. The blonde one on the far left is Monoma, followed by Shinso, Sero, Aoyama, and Iida. Bakugo registered the names of the first two. The annoying one and the mind controller.
The annoying one was staring at him in a way that made him slightly uncomfortable, and the mind controller just looked bored out of his mind. The third just looked happy to be there and the fourth was grinning at him in a psychotically friendly way that made his skin crawl. Bakugo made a mental note to avoid him as well, and then the fifth with the glasses looked tense, but otherwise unreadable.
Aizawa motioned him over to the table and after that it was all a blur of hand shaking, NDA/contract signing, and boring formal pleasantries.
“Now, there are a few rules we want to go over with you before we get started,” Aizawa said. “Mr. Yamada, if you will?”
“Okay, so,” a particular loud skinny blonde man with an annoyingly hyper energy stepped forward grinning like a hyena. He had to be the show Host, his voice sounded very stagely, and there was no way someone with this level of energy spent his time behind the camera. “Starting tomorrow and over the course of the next roughly 3 months you will be completely cut off from the outside world. That means, no cellphone, no computer, no magazines, no newspaper, no electronic devices of any kind. There will be no calls, no texts, no emails, no nothing from you to anyone once this process begins. This is to prevent leaks, and keep your full and undivided attention on this process.”
Bakugo balked but Aizawa quickly put a firm hand on his shoulder and gave him a death glare. Bakugo returned the glare but nodded his consent to the skinny blonde man.
“Next, you are not to talk, see, interact, or communicate with any of these girls, in any way, off camera. If you want to see one of them at any point outside of the regularly scheduled dates, you are to let a member of our staff know immediately and we will arrange it for you. However you can not seek them out on your own, or set things up for yourself. Are we understood?”
Bakugo snorted as if he’d ever go out of his way to see any of them if he wasn’t being forced to. “That’s not going to be a problem.” He said and Yamada continued. “Good”
“And finally, your focus needs to be on these 30 women, and only these women. AKA, absolutely no fraternizing with any of the women on our staff, like Ms. Fukukado or Ms. Uraraka, is that clear?
Bakugo felt especially irritated at this for some reason,”Tch, don’t insult me! As if I’d ever be interested in some lowly quirkless extra like that.” He growled, earning him a raised eyebrow from Yamada and a swift elbow to the ribs from Aizawa.
The room became so silent that you could hear a pin drop. Bakugo wasn’t sure why but he couldn’t quite bring himself to look at the brunette standing just a few feet over to his left, so he kept his eyes trained forward.
“I see, well I hope the two of you can get along, considering she’s going to be your handler and bodyguard for the duration of the show.”
“Bodyguard?? What the fuck do I need a bodyguard for, and why her?!” He demanded, his voice getting increasingly louder with each syllable.
Aizawa rolled his eyes and then turned as if he were explaining something rudimentary to a toddler, “You need one because during the course of this show you may be swarmed by fans which, while annoying, aren’t considered harmful or villainous. The last thing we need is for you to be caught on camera, pushing, shoving, or blasting women for latching onto you in potentially large numbers. A substantially hefty number of people already seem to think that you’d be abusive towards women. That is a notion that we want to correct and dispel, not perpetuate. That’s where Uraraka comes in. She will be by your side at all times, to act as a buffer, protect you from unruly fans, and keep you from making an absolute ass of yourself on camera.”
Bakugo’s face turned the slightest shade of pink at the last few statements, but his ears perked up immediately at the words that followed from Aizawa’s mouth. “From what I hear she is both quite skilled in combat and her quirk has proven quite useful in handling instances like these in the past.”
Bakugo’s eyes widened in surprise, “What’s her quirk?” He asked immediately and almost too eagerly for his preferences.
“It’s-“ but before Yamada could say anything Uraraka cut him off with a pointed look at Bakugou,
“It’s need to know, and you,” She said angrily, making a show of looking him up and down before shaking her head dismissively, “Most definitely do not need to know.” And with that she took a step back refusing to even acknowledge him.
Bakugo could tell that she was seething, a feat that he wouldn’t have thought possible after this morning, but here they were. After hearing the way Aizawa talked about her quirk it had to be something combat related, was it super strength? The mental image of this tiny pink cheeked girl being surrounded by an army of other women and merely throwing them all back Incredible Hulk style, like it was nothing popped into his mind, and Bakugo had to admit it was hot. He wasn’t entirely sure why but the idea of her possibly having super strength excited him. The sparring possibilities alone would be amazing! Only thing was...she was currently very pissed at him.
Tch whatever, he thought. She’d get over it eventually, besides he wasn’t here to make friends after all. Especially not with some mentally unstable girl with a weird hang up about her supposedly impressive quirk.
Little did he know that this girl had the power to make his time on the show a living hell should she choose to.
As Bakugo left with Aizawa and Yamada to head to his photo shoot, he noticed one of the men step forward and put his hand on Ochacko’s shoulder. The purple haired one, the mind controller. Bakugo immediately tensed, dude gave him the creeps. Why was she letting him get so close to her? How could she possibly trust someone with a quirk like that. The blonde shook his head, that Idiot, he thought as he left.
“How would you like to proceed?” Shinso asked Uraraka, as she let out an enormously frustrated breath.
“If we want this to work, we need to find out about his past history and what his biggest hang ups are. Things a guy like him would be too proud to ever admit to. Things he probably hasn’t ever admitted even to himself. Get me Nemoto.” She said firmly.
Shinso raised an eyebrow, “Are you sure you want to start things off this way?” He questioned. “Nemoto’s methods of interrogation are effective, but controversial, to say the least.”
“Yes, I’m sure,” the brunette continued, her eyes narrowed in determination. “I can handle any tantrum this pretentious asshole decides to throw.”
.....
Shin Nemoto smirks at Bakugo from across the table, “So tell me, what are you looking for in a wife?”
Bakugo rolls his eyes then shrugs indifferently, “I don’t know, someone who will stay out of my way and not get on my nerves.”
“And what gets on your nerves?” The Nemoto guy continued on, still smirking at him.
“Annoying little shits like you who won’t stop prying, or asking me dumbass questions,” Bakugo snapped at the seemingly taller man, prompting his grin to widen ever further.
“Okay, let’s try something else. What do you think about the prospect of finding love here?”
“I think it’s fake as shit and a waste of my damn time,” Bakugo bristled, his annoyance steadily increasing with each question.
“Is it just the show that you think is a waste of your time, or is it finding love in general?” The older man continued.
“Tch, love is for simps and losers, shit like that is stupid to invest in.”
“So you’ve never been interested in anyone?” Nemoto asked, raising an eyebrow and staring back at him intently.
“Of course I have,” The words were out of his mouth before he even knew what had happened. Bakugo’s eyes widened in surprise at his own response to the question.
“Interesting, do tell” Shin’s grin was down right feral as he continued, “Who, why, and how did it go?”
Bakugo was not going to let this happen again. He slammed his fist down on the table to tell that smug bastard to go to hell, but instead what came out was, “Her name was Melissa Shield. She was All Might’s niece, and I knew I wanted to be friends with her from the moment I saw him walking her to school.”
Bakugo’s skin turned pale and for the first time in his life he felt truly mortified, but he just couldn’t seem to stop, “She wasn’t at all what I expected. She was so... kind. She never felt the need to try to impress anyone, or if she did, I never could tell. She was just herself no matter what all the others tried to impose on her. I admired her for it because that was something I never had.” Bakugo’s eyes started to shake but no matter how hard he tried he just couldn’t stop.
He was frozen to the spot and yet his mouth simply refused to stop betraying him by moving. “When I got my quirk everyone started to latch onto me like I was already a celebrity. Following me around wanting to see my powers, copying me, trying to one up me, or hoping they could be like me. I thought it was cool at the time but looking back it was creepy. They just wouldn’t leave me alone. Each one of them was projecting something onto me because I had this power.”
He felt panicked. He needed to stop, he needed to shut up five minutes ago.
“She never did that though. She treated me like a person, not a prodigy. It’s like she wasn’t even interested. It was clear she didn’t want me. She wanted that quirkless loser who wouldn’t stop following me around. No matter how many times I knocked him down and told him to get lost. He just wouldn’t stop following me. He wanted to be like me, and I just—“ his voice cracked slightly as he continued ”I wanted her to look at me, just once, the way she looked at him. I had the best quirk, and I still lost...to him.”
Bakugo’s voice was now vehement, and his eyes lit up like fire in the end. He stared daggers into the man interrogating him as he answered the final question. “In the end I never told her how I felt. Like hell I was ever going to give her the chance to reject me. And for him of all people? Some worthless nobody? Love is giving someone else power over you. It’s quite possibly the dumbest thing I can ever imagine someone willingly doing. I decided then and there that I was never going to degrade myself like that ever again.” Bakugo’s knuckles were white from clenching his fists so hard as he choked out a final ragged breath. Realization was beginning to dawn on him, and a hatred unlike any other reflected on his face.
Shin looked practically giddy with excitement. “That’s great, now I want you to tell me—“ he didn’t even have time to finish his sentence before Backugo’s right hook connected with his jaw sending his chair flying backwards until he hit the ground with a loud metallic thud.
“If you have any more questions feel free to take it up with whatever god you believe in.” Bakugo said. His palms were crackling loudly and he knew that he was just one more outburst away from going nuclear and setting this entire building on fire. “I’m leaving.” He yelled, taking one last look around scanning the room for everyone who had heard his forced confession.
His crimson eyes finally settled on Ochako as he said, “The rest of you can all go to hell.” And with that he hastily exited the room before Shin could regain consciousness, but not before Ochako could notice the additional redness growing around his crimson eyes.
She felt...bad...
The second Bakugo left the room, Emi Fukukado pulled out her tablet and started googling, “Shield huh?” She mused fingers tapping away, “I wonder what kind of quirk Mrs. Sunshine has to make a guy like that think so highly of her.”
The result popped up, and within seconds Emi Fukukado was doubled over clutching her gut, and laughing as hard as Uraraka had seen her laugh in a while. “Oh this is just too rich.” Ms. Joke continued in between her fits of giggles. “It’s simply beautiful!” She laughed again making a chef's kiss gesture.
“What is it?” Uraraka said with a frown.”What’s her quirk?”
Ms. Joke, giggled again, “Darling, it’s nothing!”
Uraraka sighed, “No, tell me!!”
Ms. Joke laughed even harder, “Sweetheart I just did! It’s literally nothing!”
Uraraka looked confused for a second before the realization slowly came to her.
Ms. Joke began wiping tears from her eyes. “Mr. Hot Headed Number 2 hero, the self proclaimed best there is, fell in love with and got overlooked by a quirkless girl.”
“Did she end up marrying that other quirkless kid he was talking about?” Uraraka asked, her eyes narrowing in confusion.
“Hmm, let me see,” Ms. Joke said typing through her giggles. “No dear, ironically enough, she’s currently married to the Number One hero.... ouch! Now that’s gotta hurt! All I can say damn. He must’ve been holding that in for a long time. You know what they say, the more they hold back the more likely they are to spew their guts under the influence of Shin Nemoto’s quirk.”
Uraraka nodded solemnly as Ms. Joke continued, “I think he kinda likes you though.” Uraraka snorted and made a disbelieving face. “No joke, I literally thought he’d shit his pants when you walked into the room. That look on his face! It was priceless!” Ms.Joke giggled again, “But damn, that dude sure is good at pissing the wrong people off.” She gave Ochako a knowing smile, “If he keeps this up, this industry is going to chew him up and spit him out like 10 minute old gum.”
Uraraka thought long and hard about that. She hadn’t meant to be one of those people. She’d never been the vindictive type, but being openly called a lowly, quirkless, extra, who was an insult to be considered likable, will do that to you. She was still mad at him, but even she had to admit that if she didn’t help the angry blonde his chances of coming out of this unscathed were about as good as a turtle on the highway.
She groaned inwardly, sliding her face down into her hands. It was only day one and she was already exhausted from the emotional whiplash of the infuriatingly stubborn man she was now saddled with protecting. This was going to be a long ass production season.
Notes:
I hope to have chapter 3, where Bakugo meets all 30 contestants posted on February 14th! It's insane, and I really had to dig to find 30, relatively age appropriate female characters in BNHA for Bakugo to date. Sooo... Some of these are a bit of a stretch and from spin offs etc. but here is the list of contestants for the next chapter.
1. Camie Utsushimi
2. Mina Ashido
3. Tsuyu Asui
4. Kyoka Jirou
5. Toru Hagakure
6. Momo Yaoyorozu
7. Itsuka Kendo
8. Yui Kodak
9. Kinoko Komori
10. Ibara Shiozaki
11. Pony Tsuntori
12. Setsuna Tokage
13. Reiko Yanagi
14. Nejire Hado
15. Chikuchi Togeike
16. Mei Hatsume
17. Bibimi Kenranzaki
18. Tatami Nakagame
19. Kashiko Sekigai
20. Saiko Intelli
21. Mountain Lady
22. Mirko
23. Bumble Bee Lady
24. Sirius
25. Bubble Girl
26. Onemu Shinya
27. La Brava
28. Zookeeper/ Zukipa
29. Pop Step aka Honeyama Kazuho
30. Himiko Toga
31. Fuyumi Todoroki
Chapter 3: My Worst Nightmare Come To Life
Notes:
Thank you guys soo much for being patient with me! This chapter took a lot. 31 specialized entrances, plus interviews, drama, and behind the scenes hijinks. It took me a lot longer than I had hoped to plan it all out.
Also all of these characters were created by Horikoshi! However in order to find 31 age appropriate women for Bakugo to date I had to add characters from the manga that never made it to the anime, as well as characters from the movies, the video games, and the spin off vigilante series! So if any of these characters are unfamiliar, google them! All are on the MHA data base, and I found their concepts and stories, or design to be very interesting and useful in adding to this story!
I hope you guys all enjoy my super long 26k mega chapter!! I will not be doing it again, hopefully.lol. Also a Major Thank you to @Floaty_Explodey, and @Sweetalysssum for beta reading this monster chapter for me!! Check them out too! They are the true MVP's here Aly and Rose I love you!!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Bakugo spent the next several days alone in his hotel room. He called and said temporary goodbyes to his parents, who couldn’t be more thrilled about the prospect of finally getting a daughter in law, and Kirishima.
The latter of which offered a few choice words of encouragement. “It’ll all work out dude, just relax and try not to be a dick.”
After that, he filled out an insane amount of personality test questions— about 5 hours worth. He worked out as best he could at the sorry excuse for a hotel gym and in the privacy of his own room. He would have attempted to finally do some research on the show, if he’d had any access whatsoever to the internet.
The best he could do was watch previous seasons of the show on pay-per-view in his hotel room. He wasn’t paying for it. Besides he couldn’t bear to watch the news, and see all the other heroes surpassing him while he just sat there getting pimped out to a plethora of strange women. So instead, he mindlessly watched plebs meet and attempt to mate like animals on the discovery channel.
And that’s exactly what he was doing Thursday night at 9pm when there was a knock on his door. Sitting in bed, eating popcorn, and watching all the cat fights over a man who seemed to have absolutely no clue, or resolve.
Bakugo got up to answer it, rubbing his eyes. It was way past his usual bedtime. “What do you want Aizawa?” he said before opening up the door, seeing that it wasn’t Aizawa, and slammed it shut immediately.
“What the hell do you want?” Bakugo growled through the door at the man with the indigo hair. Shinso, the mind controller.
“They sent me to brief you on tomorrow’s events. Will you let me in?” The man at the door said, slightly annoyed, but not sounding the least bit surprised.
“You’re the one that controls people, right?” Bakugo retorted.
“Technically, yes-“
“Then no,” Bakugo finished, walking away from the door.
“That’s not how my quirk works. It’s all auditory not visual. So this door literally prevents nothing,” Shinso called through the mini wooden barrier. Bakugou could practically feel his eye roll before he continued. “Not that I’d even need to use my quirk on someone like you. What would I want with an idiot’s mind anyways?”
“Excuse me??!” the Number Two hero howled, storming back over to the door.
“Anyone who would consider Uraraka to be lowly is clearly an idiot,” Shinso stated simply.
The door flew open. “Oh yeah, and just what would you know about anything?!” The blonde snarled, his face a mere few inches away from Shinso’s. The left corner of Shinso’s mouth raised ever so slightly at this, but he said nothing.
“Why are you here? Shouldn’t my,” Bakugo rolled his eyes and cringed as he said the next word, “handler, be briefing me on things like this instead?”
“Oh, she quit,” Shinso said as calmly as if he were noting the weather, and Bakugo’s mind blanked for a second.
“What, Why?!”
“I guess she had better things to do with her time than babysit some spoiled, washed up hero, who publicly trashed her in front of her peers.” Shinso shrugged his shoulders casually. “Anyways I’m sure it’s not the first time you’ve had someone quit on you like this, but unfortunately now I’m her replacement.”
A chill went down Bakugos spine, no.
“Oh Fuck no, I ain’t washed up!” the number 2 hero growled. “And I’m not about to let her flake out like that and leave me with your weird ass over something so stupid,” he bristled, storming out the door and pushing past a seemingly amused Shinso.
“Where is she?!”
Shinso shrugged again in indifference. “Probably in her room, I’d imagine.”
“What’s her room number?” Bakugo huffed.
“Now why would I tell you that?” Shinso retorted snidely and Bakugo was tempted to blast a hole in the wall right next to the man’s head. Instead he settled for towering slightly over him and growling.
……..
Uraraka was in bed, about halfway through watching the movie “I Am Legend” and crying as Will Smith held his dog, when someone started banging loudly on her door. She jumped with a start, wiped her eyes, and paused her movie. She blew her nose one final time before making her way to the door.
“Yes?” she answered, her eyes widening in surprise when she registered Bakugo standing in her door frame.
His eyes narrowed slightly upon seeing her. Uraraka’s eyes were red and slightly puffy from crying. Her hair was up in a mess of a tiny ponytail, and she was wearing nothing but an oversized T-shirt.
Bakugo averted his eyes again. Did he cause this? Just like with the reporter, had his words really made her this upset? His right fist clenched reflexively, and he leaned it against the door frame as he struggled to find the right words.
“Bakugo?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow in confusion.
“Look,” he said, squeezing his palm shut hard and feeling his nails dig into his skin. “It was stupid, what I said, okay? You shouldn’t quit over something like that.”
“I-what?” Uraraka responded, seemingly confused. “Wait. Are you….. Are you apologizing?”
Bakugo tensed. ”Were you even listening?! I just said it was stupid. What I said was out of line, and you shouldn’t quit, alright?!”
“Quit?” she emphasized. “Wait what do you mean quit? I didn’t quit.”
“What do you mean you didn’t quit?” Bakugo snarled. “That shitty purple haired guy that looks like a zombie literally showed up at my door claiming to be your replacement. Telling me that you left over some stupid thing that I said. And then I show up here and you look like that!” He gestured up and down at her with his hands.
“I see,” Uraraka said, covering her mouth slightly to keep from smiling. “Well first off, I make way too much money in this position for me to quit that easily.”
She leaned against the door frame opposite him, one arm resting on her hip, the other still touching her mouth playfully. “And second, since it’s you this time, with your volatile nature so well documented, they’re actually paying me double this season. Hazard pay.” Her eyes flashed as she said it. “Or something like that.”
“That mother fucker,” Bakugo said, the realization slowly starting to dawn on him. “So if you’re not upset then why do you look like such a train wreck?”
Uraraka scoffed, swatting him on the arm before saying, “I’m going to pretend that you didn’t just say that! I always look fabulous!” Bakugo half smiled at that before another train of thought ruined it.
“So why the fuck did he tell me that then??”
Uraraka blushed and then looked uncomfortably down at the ground. “Shinso bet me that he could get you to apologize to me without the use of mind control, and I didn’t believe him. I agreed to go on a date with him, if he did.”
“Are you fucking serious?” Bakugo growled glaring at her before turning around and storming off.
“Unfortunately yes, but I do need to talk to you about the upcoming weekend! I’ll see you at breakfast, the continental! 8am sharp! Okay!!” She called down the hallway after him.
Unbelievable, Un-fucking believable. That guy had played him like a sap, and he was right. He hadn’t even needed to use his quirk to do so. Bakugo was livid. The next time he saw that mother fucker again, he’d kill him.
•••••
The next morning around 9am, Bakugo awoke with a start to someone pounding incessantly on his door.
“Go away!” he yelled before flipping over on the bed and dozing off again.
“It’s Uraraka. You were supposed to meet me at breakfast over an hour ago! Let me in!”
“Ha, not on your life,” he snorted covering his head with a pillow and pretending like she didn’t exist. He could hear her huffing in frustration outside the door and he returned to his slumber with a smile.
5 minutes later his door swung open and the girl came barging in.
“Why do you have to make everything so difficult??” she yelled.
Bakugo shot up immediately, his face turning red before returning her screams, “How the fuck did you get in here?!”
“They made me your handler, Bakugo! Did you honestly think they wouldn’t give me a key in case of something like this?!” She glared at him standing right next to his bed, with her arms crossed.
Bakugo sunk back into his bed, groaning in frustration before crossing his arms as well like a petulant child. “You people are so full of shit. I had literally no say in this ‘meeting’ I don’t want to go to, and you can’t make me.”
“Oh yeah?” Uraraka challenged reaching for his covers.
“I wouldn’t do that,” Bakugo said just as she yanked them all right off the bed, and froze. The triumphant look on her face faded as she turned beet red. Her eyes still blinked slowly in surprise as she took in the full extent of him.
Bakugo didn’t wear clothes to sleep in, and he never had.
He was clearly very proud of all he had achieved with his body after over a decade of non stop physical training and hero work. Every inch of him, and his beautifully sculpted muscles reflected in her eyes. One in particular that was standing hard and ready.
And now he was the one looking triumphant. ”Now, why don’t you be a good little girl, and give me those back?” he gloated, reaching out a hand as Uraraka threw them at him furiously and turned around covering her eyes.
“Very mature,” she huffed.
“Oh fuck off,” Bakugo scoffed, “like you and your boyfriend with his mind games are any better. Besides, you’re the one that came barging in here, remember?”
“First off, he’s not my boyfriend,” Uraraka said, staring back at him.
“Tch, whatever,” Bakugo said, rolling his eyes.
“Secondly, I’m sorry,” she said looking back up at him directly in a way that Bakugo could tell she meant it.
“I don’t accept sorries,” Bakugo said firmly, gripping at the covers now piled atop his lap. “They reek of pity.”
“I don’t want to fight with you,” Uraraka insisted calmly. “I want to help you, and it’s not a pity thing either. It is because it’s my job to aid you during this process as best as I can, and I want to do a good job. All I’m asking is for you to let me do my job. I know we haven’t had a good start, so allow me the chance to prove to you that I am on your side.”
Bakugo just stared at her. He looked thoughtful for a minute, then scowled. “Alright fine, whatever. Just give me a few minutes to get dressed.”
“Okay!” Uraraka said jumping up happily, and thrusting her right fist into the air like a cartoon hero. “Let’s do this thing!!!!”
“Yeah, yeah. Now leave, unless you want to see my dick again,” Bakugo said, rolling his eyes as she quickly steps out.
……...
Uraraka could tell that Bakugo felt most at ease in the comfort of his own room so she offered to order room service and have their meeting there instead.
And so they sat outside on his balcony and had breakfast while she went over the itinerary.
“So Next Friday, is the big day!” she chirped in excitement. “We actually have 31 women this time, and they’ll start bringing them in as soon as the sun goes down. Probably about 7 or 7:30, depending. Hopefully it doesn’t rain. If it does we’ll have to scrap the whole thing and do it all over again the next night, which would be a major pain. Typically we’d just cut to the cocktail party but the producers are really big on wanting to see your reaction the very first time you see these women. Oh speaking of which, how many suits do you have?”
“One,” Bakugo said, taking a sip of his coffee and standing to look out over the ledge.
“Oh, that won’t do,” Uraraka said, “I’ll have to schedule a fitting so that we can get you some new ones. You’re going to need at least 12.”
“Twelve??” Bakugo turned to look at her in surprise.
“Well yeah, you have at least two one on one dates a week, plus cocktail parties on your two group dates, surprise dates, and rose ceremonies. That’s at least 6 black tie events in a given week, and you can’t wear the same suit to all of that.”
Bakugo laid his head down against the rail staring down at the ground below. He could jump, end it all right now, but then that damn nerd would win. Bakugo grit his teeth. “Fine,” he said.
“Okay, so the rose ceremony on the first night is going to be especially long, but if we budget our time right we should be done filming by 4am.”
“4am?!” Bakugo balked. “I thought at most it’d be 4 hours, and I’d be in bed by 11:00.” Which was already pushing it, in his mind, for a non hero related activity.
“Uhh, well no. You see, you have to meet and greet 31 women. So let’s say everything goes perfectly, no glitches, no technical difficulty, no wardrobe malfunctions. Everything stays 100% on schedule, that’s 31 entrances. Let’s say it takes each girl 10 min to ride up to the entrance, get out of the Limo, walk up to you, greet you, make an impression and enter the house. That’s 310 minutes, which is just over 5 hours. It will be Midnight before you even enter the house. Then the cocktail party is approximately 2 hours, sometimes less depending. Then the rose ceremony, and they cut in between every third rose, and interview every girl before you call out the next. 22 roses so that happens 22 times... Basically it takes a lot of time. Sometimes it’s been 7-8am before we get done.”
Bakugo’s left eye began to twitch, the second Uraraka started crunching the numbers for him. “Kill me,” he grumbled at her, slamming his head down against his hands on the railing and groaning loudly enough to send birds flying.
“Oh, and Aizawa said he wanted me to go over some social cues with you.”
“Social cues?” Bakugo growled at her in irritation.
“For example, how do you respond if one of the girls does or says something that makes you uncomfortable?” Uraraka asked, putting down her paper and standing up next to him.
“I-uhh,” Bakugo started before she cut him off.
“How do you greet, and take a girls hand in a way that’s charming, not aggressive, or robotic?” She extended her hand to his and he hesitated, but then slowly mirrored her movement. “How do you make these girls feel comfortable enough around you to open up?” She continued turning their handshake over sideways so that his hand was on top, and placed her free hand down on top of his squeezing it gently. It did feel somewhat soothing.
“There are a lot of tricks that I can to show you, to help you navigate these situations easier, and more effectively. If you will listen?” Uraraka prompted looking up at him expectantly, still holding onto his hand in both of hers. And for the first time in Bakugos life, he did so without complaint.
.......
Unfortunately for Bakugo, that Friday night was as clear as it could be. He had been made over in a red silk lined designer suit with a shimmery red and black toned vest, over a black shirt and matching crimson red tie. None of which had been picked out by him. Someone had cut his hair, plucked his eyebrows, buffed and filed his nails, and even put a bit of light makeup on him. He felt hot, stuffy, and restricted. He didn’t like it one bit.
He’d spent the better part of the morning, meeting important crew members, attending a weird make shift dress rehearsal, drinking before he’d been cut off, and being shown to his new room in the mansion.
By the time the first limo arrived, he was already over this.
Uraraka showed him to the platform dressed comfortably in black shorts, a T-shirt and sneakers. Bakugo tugged on his tie aggressively. He envied her ease and comfort with everything. She seemed completely unfazed by anything, meanwhile his blood pressure was spiking.
“Present Mic will take it from here,” Uraraka said, adjusting the tie that he’d nearly ripped off and thrown to the ground a few minutes earlier. “I’ll be off to the side. If you need water, or anything, just look at me and wave. You got this!!” Uraraka looked up and smiled brightly at him.
“Yeah, yeah” Bakugo responded, scratching the back of his neck as she finished her fussing and stepped off behind the camera, a place that he’d rather be more than anything in that moment. The stage lights set up all around him were so bright it hurt, and so many people were looking at him expectantly.
All of a sudden Present Mic was standing up there next to him making his introductions and speaking to the camera as if it were not just a person, but a long lost friend.
“I know it’s been a very long year you guys, but we have a very special show planned for you this season! This is our first ever hero edition of The Bachelor! Featuring Katsuki Bakugo, the world’s Number 2 hero, on his quest to find love,” Mic’s voice reverberated, echoing on that last sentence.
“Now, Bakugo hasn’t always had the best luck with women, have you son?”
Bakugo clenched his jaw, he knew what he was supposed to say, it’d been scripted in the dress rehearsal earlier, but that didn’t make it any easier.
“You could say that,” he responded.
“In fact, wasn’t there something you wanted to say before we get started?” Present Mic took a small step back giving Bakugo the floor.
Bakugo stepped up slowly, his nails would be digging into his palms currently if they hadn’t been filed away into oblivion. He tugged at his necktie one more time before saying, “I just wanted to make a formal apology to Yua Uwabami.The way I handled the situation was tactless, and rude. You deserve better, and hopefully by the end of this season I will have learned how to be…. Who I need to become.”
Bakugo wasn’t even sure that fully made sense to him, but it was what he’d been scripted. There was more, but Bakugo couldn’t bring himself to say the words. He knew who he needed to be, but women had simply never factored into that equation before. Forcing things like this never felt right to him.
Present Mic sensing his struggle stepped back in, “Well the women are all here and I know you’re just as excited to meet them as I am! Let’s get started, shall we?”
And with that he and Bakugo walked halfway down the steps as the camera slid on a prebuilt track behind them. Bakugo stood in the spot he’d been designated earlier, and searched to the side for Uraraka who had followed them down, staying just off to the side of the camera.
Bakugo exhaled deeply as Present Mic faded into the background and the first limo arrived.
The first girl to step out of the limo had dark shoulder length moss green hair and rather large upturned dusky green eyes. She was wearing a shimmering strapless blue green mermaid scale dress with a slit cut high up the side, a black belt tied tightly around her waist and matching ankle high black heeled boots.
She strided up the stairs with confidence, grinning proudly at Bakugo as he studied her.
“I’m Setsuna Tokage,” the girl said, sticking out her hand as she reached the top. “My quirk allows me to split my body,” she gestures slowly up and down her slender figure, “into as many as 50 different pieces, all of which can levitate and regenerate if I get blasted.” She winked at him. “I insisted on being first because I strongly believe that the early bird gets the worm. Victory, and in this case, winning your heart are as simple as that. Being first.” She squeezed his hand and smiled again at him as he helped her up the rest of the stairs.
“You and I definitely have that in common,” she mused as she passed. His eyes followed her for a brief second and then he snapped back as the next limo arrived.
Out of it stepped an especially curvaceous dirty blonde with big brown eyes, and a dress that could only be described as a Jessica rabbit style mini dress. Because unlike JR’s dress, this one cut off maybe 2 inches under her rear end. She stepped forward in matching burgundy heels and smiled up at him blowing something that looked like a kiss out of her mouth. Instead out of her breath flows a cloud of pink smoke. Unicorns begin prancing about after her up the stairs. Bakugo braces himself as a massive red, fire breathing dragon lands on the stairs blowing fire at the girl who merely walks right through it, tossing her hair back as if it were nothing,
This left Bakugo’s mouth slightly ajar as she pranced up to him, and he cautiously extended his hand to her.
“I like being first too,and since I couldn’t be the first entrance, I’ll take this instead.” Ignoring his hand, she reached up to him, grabbed him by the sides of his face and planted a long, slow kiss on his lips.
Bakugo froze. Uraraka had literally warned him that this would happen, and he’d scoffed at her, like an idiot. She was probably laughing at him right this second. The blonde girl finally released him sliding her hands slowly down his chest, “The name is Camie, by the way,” she whispered in his ear as she made her exit. “Don’t forget me.”
The second she made it into the house, the Monoma yelled cut, and sent the make up team in to primp him and wipe any trace of Camie’s lip gloss off his face. He beckoned to Uraraka and she brought him his water bottle.
“That really happens?!” he said somewhat dumbfounded, as Uraraka cupped his chin and gently blotted a makeup removing wipe on his mouth. ”They really just kiss you, a stranger, right out of the limo like that?” He’d seen it on the show before, but for some reason he never expected it to happen to him. Most would be far too intimidated to even dare.
“Yep,” Uraraka said unfazed, but slightly amused. ”Do you want a breath mint?” she asked, opening up a tin to hand it to him.
“Are you trying to say I have bad breath, or something?” He looked at her somewhat offended, as she giggled.
“No, I’m not saying that at all, but by the end of the night... Who knows.” She wiggles her eyebrows at him and he nearly spits out his drink. His shoulders go slack and he rolls his eyes taking it from her tin.
The next girl showed up, only she’s not in a limo. Instead a horse drawn carriage pulled up and out of it steps a girl with thick, waist length, green vine-like hair and dark narrow eyes. At first Bakugo thought she was wearing some Greek looking toga, but upon closer inspection, a chill went down his spine as he registered that she was in fact already wearing a wedding dress... Lovely.
This girl took her time coming slowly up the stairs in her billowing white gown. When she finally got to the top she reached out a hand to him expectantly and he helped her up to where he was standing. The girl nods at him appreciatively and takes a deep breath before speaking.
“Do you like my dress?” she asked, And Bakugo tensed even more, what the fuck was he supposed to say to that? What had Uraraka told him to do if he was asked an uncomfortable question? Rephrase the question, and give it back to them.
“Is it your favorite dress?”
The girl giggled at that. “My name is Ibara Shiozaki, and the purpose behind this dress is to let you know up front that I plan to wait until marriage to do anything… Frivolous.” She raised an eyebrow at him.
Bakugo felt some sense of relief. Thank god it was just a weird purity thing, and not an obsessed with marrying him, thing. Marriage, what an archaic- “Religion is very important to me. I’m looking for someone who shares my values, and truly wants a wife, not simply a good time. If you are such a person, please consider me.” The girl curtsied in front of him and then took her leave.
“Oh, by the way,” she said, turning around a few steps above him. “My quirk is my vines,” she said, extending one long enough to reach over and flick him gently on the cheek with it. “I can be quite a handful, just so you know.” She gave a slight smirk and then finished her exit.
Bakugo barely had time to relax before a sound like thunder echoed overhead, and Bakugo ducked slightly as a girl came swooping in on a jet pack. She landed directly in front of him with a loud thud and a heavy gust of air.
The girl was a fair amount shorter than him with shoulder length salmon pink hair and long dark eyelashes. She giggled somewhat maniacally as her jet pack automatically detached itself from her golden dress and reverted into a cute little vacuum cleaner sized robot.
“Hoko,” she called to the robot excitedly, “let’s celebrate!” At that the robot opened up a compartment on its side and produced a rather fancy looking bottle of chilled champagne. The robot then attempted and failed to pop the cork at least three times as the girl repeatedly said, “Hoko, let’s celebrate!”
The robot in an attempt to fulfill its master’s request clamped down on the already shaken champagne bottle so hard that it exploded, dousing them all in alcohol. The robot sputtered as the carbonated liquid seeped into its circuits, and the pink haired girl cried, “No!!! My baby!!!” She hastily stooped down, scooped up the robot and cradled him in her arms as she murmured, “It’s okay Hoko, I can fix you!”
Bakugo just stood there stunned, both dazed and slightly grateful that for the first time all of the attention wasn’t on him looking like an ass.
After a minute or two, the energetic girl seemed to remember that she was in fact on a television show, and focused her attention fully on Bakugo for the first time. Still cradling her robot in one arm, she extended the other to him shaking his also champagne covered hand. “Hi, my name is Mei Hatsume, I’m an inventor. I make support items for heroes much like yourself.”
“Hi,” was all Bakugo could really think to say as he shook her hand. She pulled his arm forward thoroughly inspecting it. ”I think a relationship between the two of us could be very mutually beneficial,” she squeaked, continuing her examination.
Bakugo looked uncomfortably off set to Uraraka, who immediately mouthed, “see you inside,” and made a slight pushing gesture with her hands.
“I’ll see you inside,” Bakugo said, nudging her up the next few steps. Luckily the girl followed his lead.
“Good, good,” she said, “That’ll give me some time to work on my baby,” she cooed, taking her robot and then heading the rest of the way up.
Bakugo let out a breath of relief as they paused shooting to pat him down with towels and wet wipes. Uraraka was attempting to fix his hair by wetting it down with water and then running her fingers through it as she blew it dry, with a portable gun.
“I told them the champagne was a bad idea,” she fussed, “luckily your shirt is black so it won’t be visible, and you didn’t get wet enough to need a new suit. Do you still feel sticky anywhere?”
“Just a little bit under the collar-“ Bakugo barely had time to finish his sentence before Uraraka undid his tie, and slipped her hand down the front of his shirt with a wet wipe, dabbing away all the Champagne residue that had gathered underneath.
“Is that any better?” she asked, completely unaware of the effect she was having on him. With his tie no longer restricting his airway, he felt like he could finally breathe again.
“Much,” he said, relaxing into her strokes a bit. Bakugo would die before he ever admitted it, but he kinda liked being attended to in this way.
“You know, if the ties really bothers you that much I can look into getting you some clip ons for the rest of the show,” Uraraka said as she finished wiping him down and began re-buttoning his shirt. “Monoma will probably throw a bitch fit about it, but it can be done.”
“How? I thought you said that little fucker was in charge?” Bakugo grumbled.
“He is, but he’ll listen to Shinso and he owes me a favor-“
“The mind control guy?” Bakugo yelled, immediately crossing his arms. “No! Fuck him! I’d rather suffocate.”
Uraraka rolled her eyes. “Suit yourself,” she said, tying the hellish piece of fabric back around his throat like a noose and stepping off the set. Bakugo exhaled deeply as Monoma called out and the cameras started to roll again.
Four girls in and Bakugo was already exhausted. Please let the next girl be normal, please let the next girl be normal. Was all that went through his head.
Once his team finished cleaning him up he was back standing on his mark at the top of the stairs, a place that he had come to hate. His tie was back in place and he exhaled slowly, trying his best to ease the tension slowly creeping its way back up his spine.
A limo pulled up this time. Good, nothing too crazy, he thought, and out stepped a very curvaceous brunette. Her hair was a long, dark, black which she had pulled up into a sleek ponytail and curled slightly. She was tall with catlike onyx eyes. She was wearing ruby earrings that dangled like tiny chandeliers and her heels sparkled as if they were made of ruby as well.
This girl clearly came from money, and although she walked with an incredible posture that radiated confidence, her expression was far more timid and reserved. Which Bakugo found to be a shame because she was a total knock out in every other way.
Her dress was a deep crimson that had an elongated v cut down the front and was practically backless. It had long wisps of a glittery red materials like mini sashes coming down the back of her shoulders and a slight train behind her. Her movements were calculated and graceful. She was blushing slightly, and she was stunning.
When she made her way up to the top, he extended his right hand to her and she gently put her hand in his. It was so tiny and delicate he mused as he helped her the rest of the way up. Suddenly he began to feel a slight heat coming from her palm.
Bakugo’s eyes widened, was her quirk similar to his? After a few seconds he felt something solidify in between their fingers. Something hard and smooth and round. She giggled slightly at Bakugo’s expression as he wrapped his fingers around her wrist, lifting it up slowly with his left hand to see what had just happened.
A tiny red nesting doll lay in the palm of his right hand. He held the doll up to the light examining it curiously. “My quirk allows me to create things. I can create any non living object with my fat cells, so long as I know it’s molecular composition.”
Bakugo eyed her curiously.
”Open it,” she said, looking up at him with excitement. A small smile played across her face for the first time as he returned her gaze.
Slowly he twisted the nesting doll in half and inside were a couple of gold pins? That bore the letters MY and KB in glittering Ruby and black spinel lines. “What are these?” Bakugo asked her, a little confused.
“They’re cufflinks,” the brunette said, gingerly picking them up off his hand, eagerly lifting up his wrist as she slipped the glittering jewel links through a series of holes on the cuff of his shirt, fastening them securely and then holding his wrist back up to the light for him to examine. They looked expensive.
“What do the letters mean?” Bakugo asked her as he caught his reflection in the flawless set of stones.
“Well KB stands for Katsuki Bakugo," the girl said, indicating to the set on his left wrist. "And MY are my initials," she said, turning slightly red as he examined the cufflink on his right wrist.
“Momo Yaoyorozu, pleased to meet you!” she said, extending her hand again awkwardly to shake his. “I thought they might serve as a good reminder for uh...later on tonight.” She looked down at the carpet. The girl put on a good front, but Bakugo could see the slight quiver of her hand. This girl was nervous. She didn’t seem nearly as comfortable being in front of the camera as all the others had. And Bakugo liked that.
He shook her hand again and once they were finished he placed his other hand on top of hers giving it a small squeeze, and hoping it might put her at ease a little. “Likewise,” he said, doing his best to smile at her. This show was a nightmare, and he needed to be around more people who seemed just as uncomfortable with it as he was. “I’ll see you inside M.Y.”
The girl smiled a genuine smile at that, and it almost made Katsuki feel better about the shit fest that was this night.
“That was clever,” Emi Fukukado whispered in Uraraka’s ear off to the side. “Not only has she basically marked him with her initials, and guaranteed he’ll remember them, but now everytime he looks down at his wrist he’ll think of her. That girl is brilliant, awkward, but brilliant. She’ll be a front runner for sure! And I know you went over basic civil interactions with him, did you teach him that double handshake thing?” Emi reached out dramatically sandwiching Uraraka’s left hand in between both of hers. “Maybe,” Uraraka shrugged, and they both giggled.
The next girl out of the limo was equally stunning. She was slender with short dark purple hair, and she was wearing a high waisted black skirt and a black lace cropped top, showing off the slightest midriff between the two. She wore a black leather jacket Black ankle boot heels, with black rose earrings, an ear cuff, and a black choker. Her eyes gave her a slightly bored expression as she walked up the stairs. And what Katsuki originally thought were earrings came into focus as earphone jacks coming out of her ear lobes.
She trudged up the stairs kinda like a dude with her hands stuffed in the pockets of her leather jacket, and when she finally made it up to him she just kinda stood there awkwardly. “Hi,” she said, hands still in her pockets.
“Hello," Bakugo said, equally as uncomfortably but still extending his hand anyways.
“Here,” the girl with the purple hair said, handing him a jewel cd case, instead of taking his hand.
“What’s this?” he asked, reading the name Kyouka Jirou “Earphone Jack” Dynamite Mix, before turning it over to read some of the tracks on the back.
Name- Goo Goo Dolls
Dangerous- Neffex
Lovely- Billie Eilish and Khalid
Trampoline- SHAED
Thank You- Led Zeppelin
Feels Good At First - Train
Tell Her No- The Zombies
“This is just a mixed CD of songs that make me think about you, some are about me, and relationships, and kind of what I’m looking for in one. Good luck figuring out which song is which.” She smiled at him briefly, and then continued her walk up the stairs. Her introduction was short, to the point, if he wanted more info he could read her little bio card inside the CD case, or listen to it. Plus she didn’t touch him, at all. It was perfect, why couldn’t they all be like that?
He handed the CD over to Uraraka to hold onto, and she put it in a basket labeled Katsuki’s collection of stuff. Apparently gifts had become a very common practice during these first meetings as a way to be remembered.
He was back on his mark again when he began to feel a current of electricity surging through the air. He tensed immediately, taking on a fighting stance as he saw something come flying through the air, golden rings of light that spiralled around them like fire works in the sky. He heard a girlish laughter coming from the sky, and he dropped his stance as she flew by.
She looked kind of like a fairy, with long periwinkle hair and a shimmery sapphire dress that matched her eyes. Her dress was shoulderless with sleeves. It came down to her ankles with a slit up the side, and she had on a couple silver arm bangles, glittering silver earrings, and strappy silver heels.
She landed in front of him with a particularly strong gust of air, that sent her skirt flying up about her and showing off her legs.
“I’m Nejire Hado,” the girl giggled at his tense face, happily extending her hand to him. “My quirk allows me to turn my own energy into shock waves.”
“Nice to meet you.” He shook her hand and she pulled it up towards her face to examine it in curiosity. “My god, your hands are huge!!” The girl said tracing her fingers along his in fascination. “Are your palms always this sweaty?” she asked looking up at him through thick dark lashes.
“It’s necessary,” he responds stiffly, attempting to jerk his hand out of her grasp but she holds fast.
“I didn’t mean it as a bad thing,” she said promptly lifting his hand up and kissing the back of it softly.
“I’ve just always been fascinated by other people’s quirks. Don’t hold it against me.” She smiled suggestively. “Or do. I wouldn’t mind” He raised an eyebrow at her, but she didn’t flinch. Instead she gave his hand a final squeeze before making her exit, saying, “I hope you enjoy fireworks!”
They paused for a minute to fix Bakugos now windswept hair and give him some water. He’d already been doing this for over an hour, but it felt like longer, and he was only 7 girls in. How did people do this? He was in the best shape of his life, and yet he was exhausted. Bakugo let out a deep exhale as the next limo pulled up.
Out hopped a short girl with noticeably large hands, very long, dark, sea green hair, and oval shaped black eyes. Her appearance was somewhat frog-like, and Bakugo could have sworn he heard her ribbet as she exited the limo. Her dress was a lily pad green ball gown with darker green tinted edges. Her dress was layered in tiers like a lotus flower, and she had to raise it up as she steadily climbed the stairs.
“Tsuyu Ausui,” the girl said, taking his hand when she finally reached her mark. “Please call me Tsu!”
“Nice to meet you,” Bakugo responded, not really sure what to say. So far most of the other girls had carried the conversation, so he’d almost forgotten how to start one. “What’s your quirk?”
“I’m a frog,” the girl responded, studying his face as if trying to decide something.
“Right,” Bakugo said, wiping his forehead with the back of his hand. That was fairly obvious, but usually the girl took that as a sign to talk about herself some.
Finally having made up her mind, the girl spoke again. “I want you to remember to call me Tsu, so I thought this might help.” She placed a tiny personalized, frog shaped, keychain in his hand. It had her name and a couple keys on it. “That’s my house key. Come find me later, I’ll want it back.” She said lifting up her princess dress again and making her way up the rest of the stairs.
The keychain went into the basket.
Up next came a blue girl with short, ruffled dark blue hair, in a very revealing mini skirt and Bandeau combo with knee high midnight blue, high heeled boots. She was very well built, Bakugo noted, and her yellow eyes gleamed at him as she began her walk.
As she came up the stairs, iridescent bubbles began coming out of her skin and floating up towards him. When they popped they smelled like cotton candy and street food at a festival on a warm summer night. Katsuki’s stomach growled, the smell was wonderful.
“Hi, I’m Kaoruko Awata! My hero Name is Bubble Girl, and I think you can guess what my quirk is,” she said, gesturing to the heavenly smelling bubbles all around them and winking at him.
“What agency do you work for?” Bakugo asked, his interest peaked for once.
“I worked for Sir Night-eye,” she said enthusiastically. “I was his personal assistant.” Her eyes flashed briefly as she said this, and she leaned in kissing him lightly on the cheek. “I’ll see you inside, maybe we can talk shop a little.”
“Definitely,” Bakugo responded watching her go.
As he turned back around he heard the sound of hooves on cobblestone, and paused. Here we go, he grimaced.
Riding up the stairs on a white horse was a little blonde girl with twisted, spiral, horns and thick wavy blonde hair. She had large, round Prussian blue eyes and a round face sort of similar to his bodyguard. She was wearing a golden dress like something out of a Grecian day dream, and she was throwing white rose petals on the stairs as she passed. She brought her horse to a halt right in front of him and slid down its bareback, landing on gorgeously golden trim wrapped hooves. “I hope you like adventure!!” She giggled. “Ooh, I like your look!” she chirped in a strong English accent.
“I’m Pony Tsunotori, and I can launch my horns like projectiles at my enemies.” She lowered them a little at him with a mischievous look in her eyes. Bakugo reached out almost as if he wanted to touch one but then he stopped himself.
“My Japanese is not the best.” The girl looked up at him wide eyed, and determined as she said, “but I was told you like, Bad Bitches.” She stumbled a bit over the pronunciation of the words. “So I’m going to try my best to be a Bad Bitch’s ASS, for you!” Her tone was sweet and bright, but her delivery was entirely devoid of understanding. Bakugo could faintly hear some stifled laughter going around off camera and he clenched his fist.
Bakugo stopped her as she turned to leave, grabbing her by her wrist and leaning in, hiding his face in her hair and whispering harshly, “Who taught you those words?!”
Pony looks up at him somewhat startled before glancing off camera to another blonde. Monoma… “Did, did I say something wrong?” The girl asked concern growing more and more present on her previously happy face.
“No, it’s nothing you did.” Bakugo growled, slightly glaring at the man behind the camera who looked positively overjoyed. “I’ll teach you some more accurate words inside,” he said, letting go of her hand and giving her a reassuring nod as she exited.
The second the girl was out of earshot, he yelled, “What the hell did you do that for, you shifty eyed bastard!!! If you got a problem, come at me like you actually have a spine.”
“Ha, I don’t know what you mean Number 2,” the smug blonde man called from his umbrella covered seat. “It’s not personal. Creating memorable moments, and an interesting show is my job, and what’s more comical than a cute girl who has no clue what colorful things she’s saying? That’s going in the trailer for sure!” Monoma continued to laugh gleefully as Bakugo charged forward his palms crackling. “You slimy little weasel I’m going to kick your ass so hard any vertebrae you do have will pop out of your neck like a pez dispenser!”
“Shinso,” Monoma responded, sounding bored again as he gestured dismissively at Bakugo.
Shinso sighed, stepping forward, and effectively blocking Bakugo. The Number 2 hero snarled aggressively in response. ”Oi, get the fuck outta my way, dead eyes.”
Shinso merely looked at him impassively, which only spurred Bakugo’s anger further. “Are you willing to lose a limb over that fucker?” the blonde yelled.
Shinso shrugged, “Maybe,” he responded, his voice never wavering. Bakugos palms crackled even louder. The brainwasher’s eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to speak again, when Uraraka stepped in. Effectively covering Shinso’s mouth with her left hand, and grabbing Bakugo’s still sparking hand in her right.
A few sparks went off against her tiny palm before Bakugo could stop them. It had to hurt, but she didn’t flinch. Instead she gripped his hand even tighter with her fingers. Maybe her quirk was a high pain tolerance, or invincibility?
“Boys,” she said, pushing them both slightly back and inserting herself in between. “We have a show to do, and we have to finish shooting this entire episode before we can go home and go to bed. And I really want to go home and go to bed, not clean up a bunch of messes created by testosterone. Okay?”
Bakugo exhaled loudly, both acknowledging her logic and also his frustration. Shinso said something in assent, softly against her hand.
“It’s going to be a long night. Let’s try not to make it any longer, alright?” she said, relaxing her grip on both of them a little. They nodded, and Uraraka slowly removed her left hand from Shinso’s mouth. He captured it briefly, and brought it to his lips, a trick he’d learned from that dipshit Monoma no doubt. Bakugo could feel his jaw clenching.
“Thank you,” Shinso said, running his thumb along the back of Uraraka’s hand, Uraraka blushed, and Bakugo rolled his eyes almost to the point of straining them.
Uraraka smiled, giving Shinso’s hand a responsive squeeze. “Anytime,” she said as she turned to leave and pulled Bakugo along with her back to his spot on set. She never once dropped his hand as she returned him.
“You can let go now,” he said. “I’m not going to run.”
“Oh, right! My bad,” Uraraka said as if she had just realized that herself. She opened her hand, and as she did so he saw the faintest traces of blisters forming from where she’d been burned. She flexed her hand, wincing, and Bakugo’s stomach dropped like he’d just eaten lead. She wasn’t invulnerable, or impervious to pain... So why?
“Why the fuck did you do that??” he growled, glaring at her hand.
“It was the quickest way that I could think of to put out the fire,” Uraraka said defensively.
“Seriously?! What are you, stupid?” Bakugo hissed a little less loudly, but still annoyed, both with himself and with her.
“Was I wrong?” Uraraka challenged, glaring right back at him.
“Tch.”
“Don’t worry. We have a healer on set somewhere, once I find her I’ll be fine! I can bandage it myself until then,” she said in a softer, more reassuring tone.
“Here,” Bakugo said grabbing her wrist and carefully wiping her singed palm across his forehead and down the side of his face, until it came back wet with his sweat.
“Uhhhhh, thank you?” Uraraka said surprised, and somewhat confused.
“My palm sweat is Nitroglycerin,” Bakugo said, pulling the red silk handkerchief they’d put in his chest pocket for decoration, expertly folding it and wrapping it around her hand like a bandage. “But, like my mom, the rest of my sweat it’s just regular glycerol. It’s antimicrobial, and antiviral. It’s soothing, and it’ll keep your burns from drying out and getting irritated until then.”
“I-Thank you,” Uraraka responded, still a bit taken aback, but there was a smile in her eyes that wasn’t there before. She touched him lightly on the shoulder. “I really appreciate it, Bakugo.”
“You ready yet?” Monoma called through a bullhorn, and Bakugo immediately tensed.
“I’ve been ready, let’s fucking get this shit over with!” he yelled back.
Uraraka stifled a laugh and stepped away, stuffing her right hand in her pocket as Monoma called out. “Where the fuck did your handkerchief go?! You’re throwing off my aesthetic here!”
“The fuck if I know,” Bakugo called back. ”Sounds like a you problem!”
Bakugo smiled as Monoma let out a small string of profanity. “You’re messing with my continuity here,” he griped, but they started rolling anyway, much to Monoma’s dismay.
The next girl drove herself up in a brightly colored VW Bug. She had pink hair and pink skin, big black raccoon eyes, and a tiny little set of antennae looking horns on the top of her head. She was in a skin tight leopard print dress with long sleeves, and black strappy heels. Best of all, she came carrying…. Was that a pizza??
It was. She came bouncing up the stairs eagerly extending her gift and full on bear hugging him before he even had a chance to respond. “My name is Mina Ashido, and my quirk is Acid.”
“Please, tell me that’s a real pizza??” Bakugo said the second she released him, and she grinned.
“I hope you don’t find this too cheesy, but my mom always told me that the key to a man’s heart is through his stomach,” she said booping him lightly on the nose before opening the box to reveal a very large cheese pizza.”
Bakugos hands were immediately on it, gorging himself before the extras on set tried to take it away from him. His mic be damned. He normally would have preferred a lot more toppings on his pizza, but he was so hungry at the moment that it tasted like heaven.
“Cut!!!” Monoma yelled off screen causing Mina and Bakugo both to turn abruptly and stare at him.
“Shinso, get that pizza out of here, this is an entrance on The Bachelor, not feeding time at the watering hole.”
Bakugo gripped the cardboard box like it was his first born child, and aggressively shoved a second piece into his mouth, all while making threatening eye contact with Shinso as he ripped it apart with his teeth.
Shinso moved slowly, as Bakugo continued to shovel as much food into his mouth as possible before the assistant director made his way to them and gestured to the box.
Bakugo begrudgingly relinquished it, and they started her introduction all over again. The girl handled it surprisingly well, seeming completely unfazed by Monoma’s outbursts. She jump hugged him the second time, wrapping her legs around his waist like she’d known him forever, and Bakugo accepted it seeing as she’d fed him and all.
“Come find me later,” she said touching his cheek playfully, and brushing the slightest bit of pizza sauce off the corner of his mouth with her thumb and licking it as she exited.
The pizza definitely helped a lot. Despite his exhaustion, Bakugo felt a lot better than he had previously.
He was slightly more energetic as the next girl arrived. At first he thought he heard roller skates; at this point nothing would surprise him anymore. Only, it wasn’t roller skates. It was a clothing rack rolling towards him out of nowhere, seemingly on its own.
The clothing rack stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Attempted to roll up the first and then stopped. “Umm, could you meet me down here?” a sweet voice called out from the clothes rack.
“Uh, sure!” Bakugo said, getting a nod from Monoma as he descended the staircase. When he got to the bottom he realized that the voice was coming from a silk black robe draped openly around the body of a seemingly invisible girl. Was she…. naked, right now? Bakugo wasn’t sure.
“Thank you!” the girl in the robe and heels called out. “I’m Toru Hagakure, and my quirk is invisibility,” she said, twirling the tie of her gown around like a windmill. “And well, I couldn’t decide what to wear tonight. And I thought that since it was all that you were really going to get to see, I’d ask you to pick one out for me.” She extended the rack out to him with her hand, and Bakugo looked at it like she just gave him an insanely complex math problem to solve.
There must’ve been a dozen dresses on it, and he guessed that made sense. With her being invisible and everything, she probably invested a lot in clothes just to feel seen.
Black was always a safe bet, but she didn’t have a single black dress in the lot. Too neutral of a color, he guessed, if her goal really was to stand out. “Here,” he said, tossing her a shiny, long sleeved, silver dress. It was the least loud of all the dress colors she had on the rack, and it was soft as opposed to sequin covered or frilly.
“Interesting choice,” she mused, taking it from him and looking it over. “I’ll put it on, and see you inside.”
And with that she shook his hand and continued up the stairs with the dress he picked, leaving the others down by the stairs for one of the assistants to pull away.
Once Bakugo was back on his mark, another limo pulled up.
Next out of the limo stepped a girl with bright blue eyes and shoulder length light blue hair that had been swept to the side. She was in a sleeveless white dress with navy blue trim that kind of reminded Bakugo of a sailors uniform. She marched up the stairs in a pair of thigh high heeled boots, and that’s when Bakugo noticed her ears. She had two large turquoise colored fins sticking out around them. Interesting, her quirk must have been something aquatic, or auditory?
The name she gave him was Sirius. She greeted him sweetly, but her handshake was firm, and she pulled her left hand out from behind her back to reveal a small plastic cube filled with water and a tiny little indigo fish with shimmery fins, and dark black eyes.
She handed the fish to him insistently and said it’s Beta!
“What are you trying to say with this??” Bakugo grumbled irritably.
“Ohh, no! Nothing like that!” Sirius said waving her hands and blushing profusely. “Betas are fighting fish, and I was hoping that this little guy would remind you that I’ll always be fighting for your heart.”
“Oh,” was all Bakugo could think to say as Sirius sheepishly looked at the ground.
“Thank you?” Bakugo said, still studying the fish, it had to be one of the ugliest little fuckers he’d ever seen and it just stared back at him with its big black soulless eyes looking more bored than anything else.
“Take good care of him!” The girl chirped, patting him slightly on the shoulder as she made her way up the rest of the stairs.
As she exited, Uraraka made her way in to take the gift from him.
“What the fuck am I supposed to do with a fish?” Bakugo huffed.
“Keep him in your room, and don’t forget to feed him!” Uraraka responded, taking the plastic container from him and holding it up to look at it, “Awww he looks so cute!”
“You can have him,” Bakugo said, tugging at his tie again and resisting the urge to yank it right off. He studied Uraraka hands, her right was still wrapped in his handkerchief. Where on earth was their god damn healer?!
“I’ll watch him for you until you get done,” Uraraka said her big brown eyes mesmerized by the tiny fish swimming around in the little plastic cube, “What would you like to name him?”
“Him? How can you be sure it's a him?” Bakugo asked.
“All the big brightly colored betas are,” she said pointing to his big blue fins.
“Tch, his name is shithead,”
“What?” Uraraka’s eyes narrowed in annoyance and she wrinkled her nose. “Bakugo you can’t name the poor thing shit head! He needs to have an actual name. A proper name.”
“Fine, then Shinso, whatever,” Bakugo said dismissively.
Uraraka looked like she was about to protest again when Bakugo rounded on her. “What is that not a proper name?”
Uraraka huffed indignantly, but her time was almost up and she knew it. “Come on, Shinso,” she said to the tiny fish as she turned to leave with it. “Let’s go find you some food. Your dad can be a real asshole sometimes.”
Bakugo snorted, a smug half smile still in place on his face as yet another limo pulled up.
What number was he on now? Fuck, he didn’t know, it had to be at least half way right?
As the limo door opened a young woman in a sparkly black dress stepped out. It was sleeveless with a sheer, black, lace etched scarf wrapped around her shoulders and black sparkly heels that clicked when she walked. She looked nervous, moving to tuck some imaginary hair before realizing that there was none. Her white hair was all tied up into a bun at the back of her head, but Bakugo could still make out the subtle flecks of red in it. She was….. a Todoroki!!!
Now Bakugo was the one who felt uncomfortable. Icy Hot’s sister was in this mess too?? How on earth had that happened? The last thing on Earth he expected was for someone he knew to show up here, even if they’d never really talked before.
Bakugo didn’t know what to say when she reached his spot on the stairs. He knew exactly who she was, even if he couldn’t quite recall her name. It would be rude to pretend he didn’t, but it would also be bad not to say anything at all. He stood there, frozen for a moment. The cameras were all on him, he had to say something, but the first and only thing that came to mind ended up being, ”What are you doing here?”
“I-” the girl started, a little taken aback by his abruptness. “My father set this up. He thought it would be a good experience for me.” She looked down at the ground a little sheepishly, and Bakugo could tell that she didn’t want to be here anymore than he did.
“I see,” was all he could think to say. Of course endeavor would throw his daughter at any chance he had to keep his name among the top heroes. Anything to be associated with the best, and get grandchildren with powerful quirks. Since he’d retired, a legacy was what he was after now. A legacy that Icy Hot wanted very little to do with.
Both of them just kind of stood there awkwardly for a moment, until a motion from Uraraka off set prompted him to stick his hand out in a standard greeting they’d practiced.
“Katsuki Bakugou” he said as she shook his hand.
“Fuyumi Todoroki,” was her response, and Bakugo repeated the name again inside his head. Fuyumi. For a brief moment, Bakugo wondered how half and half would feel about him dating his sister. The idea of being able to do something to irk Todoroki and wipe that near constant look of bored condescension off the multiple quirk user’s face… It was almost too good to pass up.
Plus it would actually be kinda nice to have a girl in the group he was familiar with. One that didn’t have any genuine interest in him herself. And if he were to pick her, not only would it drive icy hot mad for a few days once he found out, but they could break things off fairly easy and not have to worry about her getting upset and exposing this whole thing for what it really was: a desperate PR stunt that he had absolutely no intentions of following through on.
It was then that Bakugo realized he’d been doing nothing but shaking this girl's hand on camera for about 5 minutes now.
“Uh, nice to meet you,” he said finally, taking her hand and helping her up the last few steps past him. “I’ll see you inside!”
“Yeah, see ya,” she said quietly, in a tone that implied she still was not sure what to make of the exchange. Bakugo just smirked, feeling like he finally had an actual plan for the first time.
Next out of the limo stepped a beautiful girl with short black hair, in a dark blue dress that glittered when she walked. It matched her cerulean blue eyes. It was modestly cut in the front, barely coming below her collar bones. When she turned to shut the door of the limo, Bakugo could see it cut into a deep V down her back. Her expression remained somewhat neutral as she made her way up the stairs to him.
She smiled briefly at him as he took her hand and helped her the rest of the way up the stairs. When she reached the top she tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Hi, my name is Yui Kodai, and I can alter the size of any non living objects I chose.”
“Not bad,” Bakugo added, nodding his head thoughtfully. And the girl brightened the slightest bit at his praise.
“Would you like me to show you?” She asked, twisting at a ring on her left hand nervously.
“Sure,” the blonde responded, curiosity getting the better of him.
The girl gingerly plucked one of the white carnations out of her hair and let it fall to the ground before bringing her finger tips together. The flower began to grow in size. It swelled to the size of a whale, hovering just above them on its stem. For the first time all night Bakugo didn’t feel the heat or brightness of the stage lights bearing down on him. It was wonderful, until Monoma yelled cut.
“We can’t even see you two anymore!” he griped.
Kodai giggled a little in spite of herself and Bakugo looked at her appreciatively before she covered her mouth in embarrassment.
“Don’t do that,” Bakugo said without thinking, prompting Kodai to look at him curiously, “Don't hide yourself like that.”
Her face turned the slightest shade of pink upon hearing his answer and then down right red when Monoma’s called out again.
“What the hell are you two doing over there, this is a family show!”
“Oi, get the forest out your ass!! We’re coming out!” Bakugo yelled back.
Kodai clasped her fingers together again and the carnation began to shrink back down to size.
“Don’t do that again,” Monoma warned, pointing a finger at Bakugo as they began to come into view again. Bakugo made a mocking face and Kodai apologized for the disruption. Eventually they began to film again and Kodai shook his hand one more time and slowly made her exit.
Once she reached the entrance they paused filming again to wipe the pollen off his coat and pick up some stray flower petals off the red carpet on the stairway. Bakugo bent down to pick up the tiny flower that had caused all this trouble.
“Here,” he said, handing it to Uraraka as she came over to assist him.
“What do you want me to do with it?” Uraraka asked, looking puzzled.
“I don’t know,” Bakugo said in annoyance, “whatever you want to, keep it, throw it away, I don’t care.”
“But it’s not mine,” Uraraka said simply. “I can’t take it.”
“Why not? It’s just a stupid flower,” Bakugo grumbled. “It’s not like she dropped a bracelet, or a shoe. Flowers are meaningless. It would have ended up in the garbage eventually.”
“Why don’t you return it to her, once you get inside?” Uraraka prompted, dusting off his jacked with a makeup brush. “I bet the audience would love that!”
Bakugo rolled his eyes. Oh, that’s right, the audience. The audience of people that were going to be watching him on this god forsaken show and judging him.
“Fine, but you keep it until then,” Bakugo grumbled, shoving the flower in her direction again.
“That I’ll gladly do!” Uraraka said, smiling brightly at him and finally accepting the flower. “I’ll put it in your basket!”
And with that, the cameras finally started rolling again as the next limo pulled up.
The next girl to step out of the limo caught Bakugo’s eyes immediately with her fiery red hair, in a high, elaborately braided ponytail, and orange and black dress with red and green accents. She was wearing his hero colors, and a mask that very much mirrored his costume. Her black heels even had little flames painted on them, like an explosion. And her earrings were shaped like little grenades that complimented the teal of her eyes. She smiled and waved immediately before striding confidently up the stairs to him.
“What do you think?” she asked when she reached the top, spinning around in front of him so that he could see the deep red trimmed v going down her back with little straps very much like the one on the front of his hero uniform.
“I like your choice of colors,” Bakugo responded, raising an eyebrow at her as he looked her over.
“I thought you might,” she responded. “They’re some of my better colors. My name is Itsuka Kendo. I think we’d make a pretty good team, and I hope this dynamite dress helps you remember me.”
“You definitely look the part,” Bakugo mused holding her hand as he asked his final question, “but can you fight?”
The red head merely smirked at him, “I’m pretty good with my fists,” she said, giving his hand a playful squeeze, “You’ll have to take me on a date sometime, and see for yourself.”
A thrill went down Bakugo’s spine at the challenge. ”Count on it,” he said, responding to her hand squeeze with one of his own.
“I’ll hold you to that,” she said, as he helped her up the last few steps.
Now it was Bakugo’s turn to smirk. “You can try,” he said, and she winked at him as she headed up. His gaze followed her for a few seconds before snapping back to the front where the next limo would appear at any moment.
Only, it didn’t. Instead the ground began to shake. Bakugo let out an exasperated breath as the sound of giant footsteps increased. And then he saw her. She must have been over 50 ft tall. She was in a bright purple mini dress with long creamy blond hair reaching her waist and purple mask, with horn-like protrusions on the side. She glided to him in her purple strappy heels, shrinking in size the closer she got, until she was right in front of him, approximately his height.
“Hi,” the blonde woman said, extending her hand out to him, “My name is Yu Takeyama, but I also go by my hero name Mt. Lady.” She swished her body as she said the words, indicating how curvaceous her figure was from chest to her hips.
“Nice to meet you,” Bakugo said absentmindedly. Bakugo knew of her. He’d see her on TV half a dozen times a week doing something outlandish. This girl loved the spotlight, and while he wanted to be remembered, he didn’t see all attention as good attention—the way she seemed to;and since he already knew her name, and her quirk, he’d run out of things to ask her.
“So what made you decide to come on this show?” he asked after an awkward silence. Mt. Lady giggled at that and swatted him lightly with her hand, “Oh you already know that! But I guess you probably like hearing it again, don’t cha?”
Bakugo’s eyes narrowed, a puzzled expression playing across his face as she continued. “Well I came here for you, silly! Out of all the top, pro heroes, you are far and away my favorite! I like my men to be a little explosive.” She raised her eyebrows at him, and Bakugo awkwardly shook her hand one final time before saying, “I’ll see you inside then.”
“You better,” she said, poking his chest with her index finger and grinning upon its impact before taking a step back and growing in height.
She looked absolutely delighted as she towered over him. She took a tentative step directly over him and then paused for a second. “Oh and Bakugo,” she said innocently, but when he looked up at her all he could see was the underside of her dress, and she was going commando.
Bakugo averted his eyes immediately, his ears turning a bright red. Luckily for him, his face had been briefly blocked from the camera by her leg.
“Don’t look so serious!” she giggled, before continuing in a more suggestive tone. “Just know, if you ever need it, I can always help you unwind a little.” She smiled devilishly before continuing her walk toward the mansion.
Bakugo motioned to Uraraka for his water bottle the second she left, and downed half of it in an instant the second he handed it over.
“Jeez, Bakugo are you okay?” Uraraka asked, concern growing on her face, “I know these suits are hot under all these stage lights but they’re made within a polyester blend that should be a lot more breathable than most-“
“It’s not the damn suit,” Bakugo grumbled, crinkling the now finished water bottle in his right hand.
“Then what?” Uraraka asked, genuinely confused.
“No one else saw that, I take it?” Bakugo responded gruffly, rubbing his eyes.
“Saw what?” Uraraka responded, still trying to piece together what was going on.
“Great,” Bakugo said, running a hand down his face while Uraraka watched.
“You know, you warned me about the random kissing, and I didn’t believe you so that’s on me. But no one ever said anything about them flashing me.”
“I-oh-ohhhhh” Uraraka faltered a bit until her brain finally clicked with what had just happened. “Underwear?” she asked briefly and Bakugo slowly shook his head. “Oh…”
“Yeah oh.” Bakugo scoffed before handing his demolished water bottle back to her.
“I’m so sorry that happened to you, I’ll definitely have Monoma talk to her about it. In the meantime though, do you want an ice cream?”
Uraraka pulled a box of hero shaped ice cream pops out from behind her back, and Bakugo looked at her as if she’d just slapped him.
“What am I, five?” Bakugo sulked, crossing his arms and turning slightly away from her in offense.
“Psh, there’s no age limit on ice cream enjoyment!” Uraraka insisted sifting through the box, “look they have Shoto, and Red Riot, even you!!” Uraraka said holding and Orange wrapped Dynamite shaped pop out to him.
“I’ll pass,” Bakugo said, waving her off.
“Well we have a short 10 minute break, Monoma wanted to see to a few things before we start rolling again, so I’m going to have one.” And with that she selected a green wrapped ice cream for herself and began to tear the wrapper, revealing an all too familiar face to Bakugo. A big pair of green eyes came into view smiling victoriously as Uraraka raised them to her lips.
Without thinking Bakugo reached out and swiftly grabbed the ice cream right out of her hand, viciously biting off the head of the Deku pop, and gritting his jaw as cold chills shot up through his teeth.
“What?” was all Bakugo said in response to her shocked expression.
“I didn’t know you were such a fan of mint chocolate,” was all Uraraka said in response, reaching back into the box and pulling out the Red Riot ice cream instead.
“I’m not,” Bakugo responded as some of Deku pop began to melt and dribble slowly down his hand.
“Careful,” Uraraka said, handing him a wet wipe. “If you get anything on that suit, Monoma’s going to make me wish I were dead.”
“What, you mean like this?” Bakugo said, raising his hand so that the green ice cream slid closer and closer down his hand to the bright red and black of his suit.
Uraraka narrowed her eyes and pointed at him, using the same tone of voice you’d use on a cat about to knock something over. “Don’t.”
Bakugo looked at her smugly in return. Uraraka merely rolled her eyes and plopped down on the red carpeted staircase to finish eating her cherry flavored Red Riot pop.
Hesitantly Bakugo joined her, realizing just how badly he needed a break after standing there so stiffly for several hours.
“How many women are left?” he mumbled beside her.
“Fifteen,” she whispered back, beforelicking the frozen treat version of his best friend’s face again.
He looked down at his own half eaten ice cream, of course fucking Deku’s would be mint chocolate chip. It couldn’t have been something more palatable, like lime. “Here,” he said, handing it back to her. Now that Deku’s face was gone, he didn’t care what she did with it.
“Do you know him personally?” Uraraka asked, taking the ice cream back and wiping some extra cream off his hand with her fingers.
“What the fuck kind of question is that?” Bakugo responded gruffly but not with the same ferocity the question would normally garner.
“Just the passing curiosity kind,” she said simply, licking the tops of her fingers.
“That’s ancient history,” the blonde retorted crossing his arms over the tops of his knees. “There’s no use in talking about it now.”
Uraraka didn’t look convinced, but she didn’t press him on it. “See any girls you like so far?”
“Tch, what are you, my mother?”
Uraraka shrugged, “At this point, basically yeah.”
Bakugo rolled his eyes, ”There are a few I could possibly tolerate long enough for the purposes of this show.”
“Don’t sound so put out,” she said, as she tried to force a smile from working its way onto her face. “This is your chance to really experiment and find out what works best for you in a relationship. See it as an opportunity!”
“Psh, a royal pain in the ass is more like it,” the number two hero cut in, dismissing her words with a snort.
“Are you really that determined to be miserable?” she challenged him.
“Tch. Are you really going to go out on a date with that guy?” Bakugo rebutted, nodding at the indigo haired man who was currently adjusting the umbrella shading Monoma’s directing chair.
“Why not?” Uraraka responded, giggling at the annoyed look on Shinso’s face as the umbrella refused to cooperate with him. “And why should you care who a lowly quirkless extra goes out with anyways?” She said this playfully with a smile, but Bakugo remained disgruntled.
“You,” he said, with a pointed glare in her direction, “are not quirkless.”
Uraraka scoffed, “yeah if only.”
And with that Bakugo turned and looked at her like she’d just slapped him across the face. “You can’t honestly tell me you’d prefer to have been born quirkless??!”
Uraraka looked him dead in the eyes, with a resolve he’d only ever seen once before. In Deku.
“I can honestly say, without a shadow of a doubt, that I wish I would have been born quirkless. I would do just about anything to have been born without some stupid quirk.” With that she turned and walked away.
And Bakugo believed her. He still couldn’t fathom the egg of it, but he believed her.
“Okay you guys, the lights have been adjusted, everyone back to their stations!” Emi Fukkado called out through a bullhorn.
And with that, Uraraka gathered up the trash, straightened his tie, and headed back to her side of the camera line.
Shinso headed over in his direction.
“What do you want?” Bakugo barked as he pulled at the tie Uraraka had just finished straightening.
“Here,” the assistant director said, waving a red handkerchief out with his hand.
“Where’d you get that??” Bakugo asked in an accusatory tone.
“Costuming,” Shinso said in that same bored tone of voice he always had. “It’s not entirely identical to the one you gave Uraraka to cover the burns you left on her, but it’ll do.”
“I didn’t know she was going to do that!” Bakugo seethed. “And I didn’t ask her too!”
“I see, so it’s her fault that you can’t control your own quirk?” When Bakugo didn’t respond the other man sighed. “Excuses, excuses,” Shinso said, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture Bakugo had come to recognize as annoyance or agitation. “Tell me hero, is anything ever your fault?”
Bakugo bristled.
Two minutes later another limo rolled into view, and Bakugo exhaled deeply.
When the limo pulled to a halt, he braced himself once more. Out stepped a very short girl, with a somewhat childlike appearance. She had a very large round head for such a dainty figure and thick raspberry pink hair which she had tied up in pigtails behind her head, further accentuating her look. She had a few bangs swept pointedly to her right, and very large oval shaped pink eyes with dark rings around them. She wore a bubblegum pink, ball gown style dress, with long white gloves and bright pink heart shaped earrings.
She glided up the stairs like something out of a strawberry shortcake, fairy princess daydream, and even curtsied in front of him as she spoke. Her voice was high, and sweet, and very proper sounding. “My name is Manami Aiba, but you can call me La Brava!” She giggled as she said the last part, “And I just wanted to say that I love you, Katsuki Bakugo!”
Bakugo froze in shock for a second, having a mild flashback to his last interview as hero. Right when that reporter confessed to him, and this whole mess started. “I-” but before he could say anything he felt something begin to stir deep within him, a power he could now acutely feel rushing through his veins. A power much like his own, but stronger.
With this new power he felt like could level the entire mansion with a single flick of his finger. He felt like he could soar into the stratosphere if he wanted. He felt like for once he could go head to head with Deku at the height of One For All’s strength and beat him. Out run him, out kick him, out hit him, outlast him. And he hadn’t felt that way in years, not since the damn nerd’s power ups increased and all those additional quirks had developed. He wanted to test it out, but he knew he shouldn’t.
“Go ahead,” the girl nodded as if reading his thoughts, “Try it out,”
Bakugo nodded, his face lit up in childlike wonder and excitement for the first time in years. Just a small explosion he thought. He could throw it high enough up in the air that it’d be like a firework going off.
So he did. He let a small golf ball sized amount of energy form in his palm, just to see how much bigger it would be than his typical explosions of that size. Then he launched it, but to his surprise his strength had been doubled too. It went flying far higher up than he’d expected. The ball reached the atmosphere before it exploded, instantly setting it on fire and wiping out virtually all life on the planet.
Just kidding.
It went off with a spectacularly loud and dramatic explosion twice the size and height of Bakugo’s normal range and explosions. It lit up the sky overhead like the biggest firework anyone had ever seen, and caused a slight dusting of ash to fall in its wake. Bakugo himself was standing slack jawed in awe of what had just come out with a flick of his own wrist. Then he grinned his most feral of grins.
“How?” was all he could say still looking up at the sky. His excitement grew as she answered.
“My quirk,” the girl said shyly, taking a step up to stand next to him on the red carpet. “It grants me the power to bestow a power boost to the person I love the most at the moment, by telling them that I love them. The more I love them, the stronger it becomes. That,” La Brava said gesturing with her tiny hand and the sky where Bakugo’s bomb had gone off, ”barely scratches the surface of level one.”
“Well aren’t you just a little power house,” he responded a triumphant smile brightening his face. “You’re quirk is a real game changer. I like it.”
The girl brightened up immediately upon hearing his praise. “Really??” she asked, her eyes shining brighter than the stage lights.
“Do I look like the kind of person who flatters people?” Bakugo turned to her and she faltered slightly.
“N-no. You don’t.”
“Then you can be assured that when I compliment you, I mean it.”
Tiny tears began to form in the corner of her eyes, and Bakugo's eyes widened in anticipation.
“Thank you, Bakugo!” She sniffled. “You’re so much better than I ever could have expected!”
“So then what are you crying for?” Bakugo asked, still eyeing her suspiciously.
“These are happy tears!” the girl explained, still fanning her face with her tiny hands. Her mascara was starting to run down her cheeks.
“Here,” Bakugo said, handing her his newly acquired handkerchief for her to wipe her eyes with. He could feel Monoma death glaring at him as he did so, but that skinny blonde psychopath knew better than to interrupt such a naturally dramatic and emotional shot over his wardrobe OCD.
La Brava froze for a second as if she didn’t believe she’d heard him correctly. Tentatively she reached out as if he would retract his offer, and scoff at her at any moment. Then, when he didn’t, and she finally had the silky fabric clutched between her tiny fingers, she squealed.
“I’ll see you inside,” Bakugo said, extending his hand out to her one more time, to take hers. She gingerly slipped her little white gloved hand into his, as he led her up the next few steps. When they reached the top he gently placed his other hand over hers, thankful for her gloves so that she couldn’t tell how sweaty his palms were. “You have an exceptional quirk,” he said, squeezing it comfortingly in the way Uraraka showed him, unsure of what to say next. “I look forward to seeing more.”
“I would love to! Thank you!!” She smiled while holding onto his handkerchief and wiping her eyes as she turned and headed into the mansion.
No sooner had she exited than a big angry “CUT” came echoing across the stairs from Monoma as he came stomping over with Shinso in tow.
While the two angry blondes argued the girls up stairs in the mansion were talking all about the entrances as they arrived. And that last one had some of them a bit confused as to what happened.
“What do you think she said to get him to shoot such grand fireworks off for her like that?” Camie asked aloud as she and 7 other girls pressed themselves closer together so that they could see out the glass.
“Oh, who knows,” Mt, Lady snorted in annoyance before pulling herself away from the rest of the girls to pout.
“Maybe she flattered him on his quirk and asked for a demonstration!” Nejire Hado interjected, still fascinated herself by his abilities.
“I should have thought of that,” Toru said, sliding her invisible face into one of her white gloved hands.
“You showed up practically naked and asked him to pick out a dress for you.” Shiozaki said in a disgruntled tone, “I’m sure he’ll remember you.”
“Oh like showing up in a wedding dress is so much better? Don’t get all uppity with me just because you might’ve freaked him out and accidentally shot your chances with him in the face.”
Shiozaki crossed her arms. “If he’s the kind of guy to reject me purely because the idea of a commitment and wedding at the end of this scares him, then he’s not the guy for me and I haven’t lost anything,” Shiozaki said this all very firmly but the expression on her face didn’t look so confident.
“I am not okay with this,” Mt. Lady could be heard loudly addressing Ms. Joke and her camera man as they interviewed her. “Who does this child think she is? Coming here and immediately crying on his shoulder like that and expecting him to fawn all over her. Manipulative little bitch. And don’t even get me started on the handkerchief. That little hobgoblin can keep that tiny little silk square as a participation trophy, I’m going to be the one that gets his heart.”
La Brava took a few awkward steps in right at that moment looking sad as Mt. Lady shot daggers at her with her eyes.
“Oh, you guys, look! Another limo is pulling up!” Pony called again from over by the window and the girls returned to their huddled position.
A girl with long blonde hair exited the limo. She had two tightly rolled curls pressed against each side of her face and a wide folded bun in the back with 3 more curls coming out of it. She wore dark lipstick and a rather excessive amount of makeup, on her face and ridiculously long eyelashes that stuck out past her ears.
“Are those natural?” Camie asked in curiosity as Mt. Lady huffed.
“Are you kidding me? It looks like spiders are attacking her face, bet she doesn’t even make it to the next round.”
Meanwhile outside, the girl in the long, bright pink Kimono and pearls came to a stop right in front of Bakugo.
“Hi, my name is Bibimi Kenranzaki,” the girl sang, extending her hand slowly to him like royalty. “But you can call me BB! I’m a pageant Queen, formerly Miss Tokyo!”
Bakugo nodded blandly, shaking her hand, “What’s your quirk?” he asked, and she paused.
“Oh that,” she said waving dismissively. “It’s nothing compared to my beauty and skills with engineering.”
This earned her a confused look from the Bachelor, prompting her to add more to her answer.
“Maybe if you keep me around, I’ll share it with you!” And with that she booped him on the nose and took her exit with a very deep and dramatic curtsy.
The next girl out of the limo reminded Bakugo of something out of Mario Kart. She was a short girl with honey brown hair that had been combed into an inward sweeping bob about her shoulders. She had a thick fringe of bangs along her forehead almost completely covering her eyes, and a noticeably large mouth.
She was wearing a knee length bright red dress with white polka dots kind of resembling a mushroom. It was cinched at the waist with a brown belt, and had long frilly sleeves flowing about her waist. She had a matching polka dot hat with fringe, and layered frilly leg warmers, which only added to her fungi aesthetic.
The second she saw him her rather shy appearance changed and a huge Cheshire Cat grin split her face in half. She appeared to be excited and as she walked up the stairs it almost seemed as though tiny shrooms were sprouting from her very dress.
“Kinoko Komori!” she said, extending her hand to him and sweeping her bangs to the side briefly to reveal warm brown eyes, almost like his body guard’s in shade except they were marked by tiny little cross-like pupils resembling the caps of cross sliced shiitake mushrooms.
Komori giggled upon his accepting of her slightly mushroom covered hand. “My quirk, as I’m sure you can guess, involves growing mushrooms at will. I can grow millions of them virtually anywhere and even create a smokescreen using them.”
“I see,” Bakugo said, lifting up her hand to examine it while mushrooms began to sprout all around them. He poked at one curiously, and she giggled in response, almost as if it tickled.
“You seem like a fun-guy!! Keep me around long enough,” the girl said with a subtle wink, “and I just might grow on you!” And with that she continued up the stairs, her nerves finally getting the better of her as she exhaled in relief.
A few moments later a big shiny white limo rounded the corner instead of the traditional black. It was practically glowing from rim to roof in brightness, not a speck of dirt anywhere in sight. And stepping out of it in a white and lavender trim dress with rhinestones glittering about it was a pale girl with light grayish-blue lavender hair. It was in a hime cut with a fringe of bangs in her face much like the girl before her, only hers didn’t cover her matching lavender blue eyes. She wore a white beret and a monocle on her left eye dotted with a tiny jewel at the end.
Her dress was sleeveless with a silver belted tie, sparkling silver boots, and long flowing train.
She stepped forward calmly, with a grace and elegance in each step that she took. Half smiling at him when she finally looked up from her walk and caught his eye.
She paused for a moment when she got to the top of the steps and looked him up and down, almost as if sizing him up. Bakugo got a slight rush from the cunning glint he caught a glimpse of in her eyes.
Finally the girl smiled, a sweet smile that Bakugo couldn’t have possibly imagined on the face she was giving him just a few moments ago.
“Saiko Intelli,” she said simply, nodding at him in approval.
Bakugo crossed his arms suddenly defensive at the idea that he needed approval from anyone.
“So what can you do?” he gruffed and she smirked confidently.
“I thought you’d never ask,” she purred before snapping her fingers. Immediately another girl about her age came rushing up to her out of the limo with a piping hot cup of tea.
Bakugo raised his eyebrow at her questioningly as she took her time slowly stirring it with a spoon before taking a sip out of the elaborately designed periwinkle porcelain cup. She sighed contentedly. “Ahh, much better,” she said before handing the cup back to the girl and putting her hands on her hips as if she was about to square off with him.
He could tell that she was scanning the surrounding area and his anticipation grew. Then she paused for a second, pulled off her Monocle and began to clean it. As she did so one of the stage lights caught it reflecting a bright light right into Sero’s eyes blinding him and causing him to lose his grip on his boom pole. It swayed to the side before he caught it again bumping into Uraraka handing out water to people on the set. The girl stumbled and 8 water bottles went tumbling out of her hands as she fell into Shinso’s lap on camera. He caught her but knocked the camera off its position slightly as a result. But not before Sero shot his tape after her to try to catch her fall and instead wrapping her tightly against Shinso’s chest like a mummy. This prompted Monoma to yell cut, and head over to assist them in unwrapping his production assistant from his assistant director. Iida hurried up to help them but slipped on one of the water bottles rolling around on the ground and ended up falling into one of the production lights causing Monoma to swear.
Bakugo rolled his eyes in annoyance. He was about to head over there himself and show them how it’s done, when he felt a slight tug on his sleeve.
“I wanted to speak to you privately for a moment,” the girl said proudly, as if she had just intentionally orchestrated this entire accident in a matter of minutes.
“Did you?” Bakugo asked, nodding to the situation that had just unfolded in front of them and the girl smiled.But of course!”
“Battle strategy and executing maneuvers with minimal effort or physical exertion are but a few of my specialties.” Her eyes flashed as she’d continued, examining her nails. “I could bring this entire mansion down if I wanted to. No one can outwit me, and no girl stands a chance.” She almost sounded threatening as she said it, and the smile that formed on her face was truly wicked.
“How? How did you do it?” Bakugo asked and she merely nodded to the tiny tea cup in her assistants shaking hands.
Bakugo looked back at her suspiciously.
“Try some,” the girl said, gesturing him forward with her hands, “It’s Earl Grey, my absolute favorite! You know you want to.”
“Don’t tell me what I want,” Bakugo gruffed snatching up the tea cup and sniffing it and then immediately wrinkling his nose before taking the tiniest sip possible.
“How is it?” Saiko asked as Bakugo handed the tea cup back to her assistant.
“I’ve had better,” Bakugo responded dismissively as he turned back around to Shinso’s hand finally getting untapped from Uraraka’s thigh. That bastard took his sweet time removing it too.
“What, you mean from her?!” Saiko said, surprised and somewhat offended by the notion. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and then the smile returned. “Interesting.”
But before they could continue their conversation, Monoma yelled at them from across the set.
“No talking off camera!!!! Intelli, go back down to the limo. Looks like we’re going to have to shoot this whole thing over again.”
“My apologies,” the girl said, curtsying deeply before heading down the staircase. “As you wish.”
“And you.” Monoma said, pointing an angry finger at Bakugo. “If I ever catch you talking to one of these ladies off camera again, I’ll have Shinso brainwash you for the rest of the show!”
“Just you try it, Thunder Thot,” Bakugo yelled.“You’re all talk and no substance.”
“Oh, am I now?” Monoma laughed maniacally, before placing his hand directly on Shinso’s head and taking a step forward, but Uraraka latched onto him and held fast with her now free right hand forcing him to stop.
“And just what do you think you’re doing, Uraraka?” Monoma asked the girl in an almost sinister fashion. Instead of responding Uraraka merely shook her head no, and squeezed his arm harder.
“What? You don’t want me to use Shinso’s quirk on him? How about I use yours instead?” Monoma said, “I heard it can do some serious damage to people.”
Uraraka let go of him the second he said this, recoiling as if she’d just been burned. Her eyes widened in horror with a slightly watery edge as he reached down and grabbed hold of the wrist she was using to hold him back and absorbed her quirk. Shinso reached over and grabbed him by the tie, yanking Monoma’s face down until it was barely an inch away from his own. The sharp and uncharacteristic rage of the motion freezing them all as he glared murder at the blonde. In a furious, yet calm tone, Shinso commanded him, “sit.” Without even thinking Monoma complied, as his eyes blinked in surprise at what just happened.
Shinso brushed some hair back from Uraraka’s face and whispered a few things to her that Bakugo couldn’t quite catch, and she nodded, wiping her left eye with the back of her hand as she finally stood up from his lap. He squeezed her hand gently and she put on the best fake smile she could muster before stepping forward and away from the two of them.
No sooner had she left then Monoma turned to Shinso. “What was that all about??”
“Your horrendously poor people skills,” Shinso responded, his monotone slowly returning as he helped Monoma back up to his feet.
“Psh, I hardly think what I said was anywhere near that bad. People are just so sensitive these days.” Monoma continued dusting himself off.
“What did you hear about it?” Shinso asked shortly.
“Oh nothing really, just that she fucked some people up really badly with it once and basically refused to use it ever since…. What?” Monoma responded to the exasperated look on Shinso’s usually neutral face. Shinso let out a breath of air.
“Trust me, she has some very real reasons why she is the way she is about it, and it’s not my place to say, but they are legit. Like the way you felt in Brazil times 10. Just apologize to her okay?”
“Hah, why would I-“ Monoma said before another glare from Shinso promptly silenced him. “Okay, okay, jeez,” he grumbled, adjusting his tie, and heading back to his director's chair.
“Okay everybody line up!! We’re about to do this all again.” Monoma calls out, but Bakugo was too busy focusing on Shinso watching Uraraka as the healer looked her over once again.
“And we’re rolling in 3…2...1… Look at the damn limo!!!!!”
And with that Bakugo turned back around as the white limo pulled back up again.
“What do you think the holdup is?” A man in a black and grey bodysuit said as he hesitantly peeked out of the tiny tinted windows of another limo on down the line.
“Oh who knows, probably someone boring doing something slightly less boring and everyone dying to catch it on camera.” A girl in a pink dress with two blonde buns on each side of her head pouted while looking out of her own window.
“We’ve got to pick our time right to sneak into the line up.”
“Are you excited?” The man in the bodysuit asked her practically giddy as their limo pulled up closer to the front.
The girl smiled slightly at her friend's enthusiasm. “Excited to see just how strong and red his blood is!!” The girl sighed dreamily, breathing heavily just thinking about it. “His warm blood dripping down my hands as I absorb him into me!!!”
She squealed with glee, and then the man suddenly got somewhat serious. ”You do remember the plan, right?”
The girl merely rolled her eyes before removing her hand from her dress pocket, revealing at least 3 empty syringes held deftly in between her fingers. “Collect samples of all the strongest heroes, and take out anyone who gets in my way. Duh.”
“Whew, okay good!” The man said, fake wiping sweat off of his masked head as he settled back down and laid across the length of the limo with his chin rested in the palms of his upturned hands.
“So what do you have planned for your entrance?”
The girl's eyes lit up and she smiled, talking animatedly to him in the back seat as the driver with dark hair and staples just under his eyes blew out a puff of smoke from a cigarette and began to pull the car forward.
Back up at the Mansion Saiko had finally made her way back up to the top of the stairs again, and was shaking Bakugo’s hand this time.
“Good Evening Mr. Bakugo, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” she said, winking at him. Bakugo rolled his eyes, but he went with it anyway.
“Likewise,”
“My name is Saiko Intelli, and my quirk is that I can boost my already 150 pt IQ even higher by having a cup of tea. The better the brand the higher the boost,” she continued and Bakugo’s eyes widened as all the pieces came together.
“And your favorite tea is-“
“Early Gray,” she said, cutting him off and pulling a tiny box out from behind her back. She handed it to him. “Even if you’re not me, it’s very calming and stimulates brain function.”
She patted him lightly on the shoulder and made her way up the stairs while Bakugo gripped the box a little too tightly in his hand.
After she was gone Uraraka stepped back out on set to retrieve the box from him and add it to his basket.
“Throw it in the trash,” was all he said as he handed it off to her.
“But, but it’s Nezu tea!!” Uraraka scolded. “It’s a luxury brand! Do you have any idea how expensive this tea is?!?!”
“Don’t care,” was all Bakugo could say with his arms crossed.
“Just try it, one cup, and I swear you’ll change your mind!” Uraraka said playfully poking one of his crossed arms.
Bakugo turned to glare at her and instead couldn’t help but stare at the small bruise coloring the side of her head.
“What the hell is that?!” he yelled pointing at her head.
“What, it’s just a little rainbow,” Uraraka said, pulling her hair forward to cover it up.
Bakugo just stared at her in confusion. “What are you crazy?” he asked. “How the fuck is that a rainbow?”
Uraraka just stared right back at him in stubborn determination. “Because they change color! It’s what I used to call them when I was little to make myself feel better. Besides it was just an accident, and I don’t want Sero to feel bad about it.”
“That’s... stupid,” was all Bakugo could think to say as he looked down at the carpet.
“That’s articulate,” Uraraka said in response with a hand on her hip, but a smile on her face.
“Are you guys done?” Monoma called from across set, the annoyance in his tone was clear but lacked any of the condescending malice that it had had before.
“Gotta go!” Uraraka said, giving him a quick salute with two fingers. “And I’m keeping your tea, by the way!”
Bakugo rolled his eyes, of course she wouldn’t keep the fish, but she’d take the snooty bitch’s tea. Within a matter of minutes that girl had physically injured Uraraka and damaged several hundreds of dollars worth of lighting equipment, just to get a couple minutes off camera with him, and no one was the wiser. Bakugo could only imagine the kind of damage she could do if she really put her mind to it, and without even lifting a finger of her own which would make things even harder to prove. That bitch had to go.
He needed to go. This day had been the most exhausting one Bakugo could even remember, and it had only just begun. He had to constantly fight the urge to just blast off over the mansion and disappear into the trees. He could do it. He could make a break for it. But then what? Fade into oblivion, be known as the coward who ran away? Fuck. Bakugo had never felt more stuck in his life, as the next limo pulled into view.
The next girl out of the limo was of average height and build with dark hair and eyes. She had ear length bangs that were arched slightly and curved into pigtails. Her eyes were thin and stern and her expression was sullen, very much like his own.
She wore a simple black dress with thin straps and sensible ballet flat shoes. And her entrance was relatively normal.
“Hello, my name is Chikuchi Togeike,” she said, shaking his hand.
“Nice to meet you,” Bakugo said robotically, going through the motions. “What’s your quirk?”
“We went to highschool together actually,” the girl said, and Bakugo froze.
“You went to UA?” Bakugo reiterated as his eyes narrowed in thought as he tried to place her, but damn he barely remembered his own classmates' names let alone extras like her.
“Yes, but I wouldn’t expect you to remember. I was a student of the general class, not the hero class. Heroes never remember the little people.”
“I-“ Bakugo started before she cut him off with a wave of her hand.
“That will be all,” she said and then she continued to make her way to the stairs to the top.
“Well that went well.” He could hear Aizawa’s voice internally now. Wait a minute….
Bakugo zipped his head around to see the tall, dark, sleep deprived man standing next to Monoma’s directing chair.
“I know right?” Monoma responded, “Did you see the look on his face? That was pure comedic gold! That clip is going in the trailer!”
“Just make sure the episode as a whole makes him look good, got it?” Aizawa said, wincing in frustration.
“How the hell was I supposed to recognize someone who wasn’t even in my damn class?! After 10 years, and 4 hours of this shit?! I’m not a fuckin’ pokedex!” The angry blonde yelled out at them from the red carpet.
“Yeah, yeah, let’s keep it moving!” Monoma called out and then gestured for another limo to pull up.
However this time, instead of a limo, Bakugo heard a buzzing sound. Bakugo swatted at a fly that on closer inspection turned out to be a bee, and then all of a sudden a woman approximately 5”9 dropped down out of the sky and landed right in front of him.
Bakugo nearly shat himself, where the fuck did she come from?
The woman however wasted no time introducing herself as X, a fellow pro hero with a fondness for believing. She was a rather tall woman with dark skin, full lips, and dark green, almost insect-like eyes. She had long dark blonde hair that reached her waist which she’d styled into a side braid, and she had a pair of bug-like antenna protruding doward from her forehead.
She was wearing a dark black sleeveless dress that tied in the front, with three yellow claw shaped markings wrapped around either side of her torso and a short black and cream pinstripe skirt. Elbow length long black gloves and black and yellow striped braces with a red jewel cresting them. And pale cream thigh high boots.
“They call me X because of my quirk, x-ray,” she responded confidently with her hands on her hips.
“Really,” Bakugo responded, “I would have guessed your quirk had to do more with bees?”
This made the girl giggle, ”No, I wish!! I just really love bees! I’m a bee keeper myself actually! In fact-“ and with that she reached behind her back and pulled a massive jar of sticky golden liquid seemingly out of nowhere. “I have something for you! Honey.”
“Excuse me?” Bakugo said, still not entirely sure what to expect from all these women.
“I said, it’s honey!” the girl responded holding the jar of fresh home cultivated honey out to him. “But you can also call me Honey if you like!”
She smiled, and Bakugo accepted the jar finally. It was in a mason jar wrapped in a shiny silvery ribbon with a little bee shaped card that read: X’s Extra Special Sourwood Honey. Enjoy!
“Sourwood?” Bakugo asked before he could stop himself.
“Yes!!!!” The girl squealed in excitement as she prepared herself to explain.
“Sourwood is my current favorite type of honey! It’s actually not sour as the name would have you believe. It’s really sweet, buttery and slightly spicy, for honey anyways. It has some subtle caramel hints to it, that are to die for! It just comes from Sourwood trees that were very popular in the region that it was originally produced. It’s also a good antioxidant and anti-inflammatory, Try it!”
“Good to know,” Bakugo said, shaking his hand once again. ”l’ll see if I can get my attendant, to make me some tea with it.” He threw a sideways glance at Uraraka who rolled her eyes, and the girl in front of him brightened immediately.
“Please let me know if you like it!” X said swelling with pride and excitement. Bakugo nodded and then the girl made her exit.
“I’m serious now,” the girl called out to him as she left, “call me Honey!”
Bakugo exhaled slowly as she left and Uraraka came up to retrieve the honey while the others adjusted the lights to keep up with the ever growing darkness
“I’m not your own personal gofer you know!” she complained to him the second he was in ear shot, and Bakugo couldn’t help but chuckle at the mental image that gave him. She already had the cheeks for it.
“What do you mean by gofer?” he asked in amusement.
“You know, someone you send to go and do all your personal shit for you. Go for this, go-fer that.”
“So does that mean you won’t make me tea with that girl's honey?” Bakugo asked smugly. “I think that’d make her very sad.”
Uraraka practically growled in annoyance and exasperation at him.
“Here,” Bakugo said, handing her the jar of honey. “Try some and you tell me if it’s any good or not.”
Uraraka took the jar from him and immediately untwisted the lid with her tiny cat paws. “My hands are clean,” she specified before running the tip of her finger around the rim of the jar to pick up some excess residue. Then she stuck the whole of it in her mouth. Bakugo’s jaw parted slightly and then Uraraka let out a sound of pure ecstasy.
“Oh, my god!!! This honey is out of this world!!” Uraraka moaned.
“Let me try some,” Bakugo said, reaching for the jar which Uraraka immediately pulled away.
“Are you kidding me? No,” she said, hiding the jar against her. “You’ve been shaking strangers' hands all day. Your palms probably have the same amount of bacteria as a public bathroom.”
Bakugo puffed out a breath of air and grumbled.
“Here,” Uraraka said inserting her finger again and then extending it out to Bakugo. Who gave her a strange look.
“I just washed my hands recently, and I regularly sanitize,” she insisted, but he still didn’t look convinced.
“Fine, if you don’t want it I’ll gladly eat-,” but she was cut off half way through raising it to her lips when Bakugo caught her wrist and slowly pulled it to his mouth instead. Inspecting it almost as if her hand were a bomb that might explode at any minute, before slowly lowering his head to her hand and expertly licking the honey from the tips of her fingers.
“What do you think?” Uraraka asked.
“Eh, It’s not bad,” Bakugo responded, licking his lips immediately after. He wasn’t a big fan of sweet things, but this honey he might actually put on something once in a blue moon.
Uraraka let out an exasperated sigh.
“High praise coming from you,” she said, screwing the lid back on the honey jar and taking her leave before the crew finished readjusting the lights..
Meanwhile, inside Ms. Joke was interviewing La Brava.
“So, how do you think your entrance went?” the girl with the green hair asked. “Did it go how you expected?”
“Well, I wasn’t expecting to cry,” the tiny girl said, still dabbing at her left eye with his handkerchief, before looking at it like treasure. “But I also wasn’t expecting him to be so kind. You see him on tv and he’s just this big unattainable, unstoppable force, so it’s hard to imagine him being… gentle.” Her eyes got a little misty as she said that last word.
“What made you sign up for this show?” Ms. Joke asked.
“Well, my mother has been on my case about meeting someone ever since my ex left me, and I thought why not go for someone who embodies all the qualities that I wish I had. The confidence, the presence, the strength. And my mother thought that this might be a good experience for me, as I’ve never been particularly social,” La Brava said pawing at the ground with her right foot.
“I see,” Ms. Joke said, “Well congratulations on making it! And on making your first entrance one to remember!” The green-haired woman smiled at La Brava who beamed back.
La Brava made her way in, joining the rest of the girls just in time to hear Kendo call out, “You guys gotta see this! This girl’s gotta box!”
Kendo, Kodai, and Setsuna were taking their shift looking out the window and when they called Camie, Nejire, Pony, Mina and Bubble girl all came crowding the window in curiosity.
“Do you see that?” Setsuna said, pointing out the window as Tsuyu made her way over to them.
“What do you guys think is in the box?” Camie asked as they all alternated looking out the window to get a better look.
“Maybe, it’s a trinket box with things that are important to her?” Tsuyu suggested.
“Or it could be a photo box with pictures of her family and favorite places?” Mina supplied.
“It’s cursed!” Pony said cheerfully prompting everyone to turn around and look at her in concern, but Pony merely ignored them.
“Care to elaborate on that some Pony?” Camie asked the horned girl before taking another sip of champagne.
“My grandma had a box like that when I was really little,” Pony said, still staring out the window. “I always wanted to play with it, but she told me to stay away on account of the curse. Anyways one day when I was 7 I finally opened it. I never saw the curse, just a bunch of old papers and some random jewelry, and an old perfume bottle. And then my dad died of a heart attack, my dog disappeared, and my grandma angrilly shipped me off to boarding school and never wrote to me.
Mina’s eyes grew wide, Nejire gasped, Camie covered her mouth, and Kendo bent down to try to comfort the girl, as they all exchanged uncomfortable looks.
Meanwhile outside, Bakugo looked straight up bored, as he watched this girl make her way towards him in a painfully slow manner.
The girl walking up the steps towards him had pale chin length grey hair parted to the left to hang down over her eye obscuring the majority of the left side of her face. She had blue eyes with dark circles under then and a small mouth with full lips.
She was wearing a pale purple knee length kimono with a white furred color, a thick navy and white striped belt and navy boots. She walked rather slowly with her hands out, almost like a ghost about to go boo. She was levitating something with her hands as she walked. And when she made it to the top she floated that something ornate out towards him. It was a a very intricately detailed, black box.
“My name is Reiko Yanagi, and my quirk is called Poltergeist, it allows me to telekinetically control nearby objects,” the girl explained softly.
The box she was floating made its way up to him and he caught it just as she released her quirk. The box shook slightly, a humming noise coming from inside. But when Bakugo went to open it, he noticed. ”It’s locked.”
“Yes,” Yanagi smiled, “This box is haunted and very special to me, only I have the key.”
The girl tugged on a long chain going down into her dress that revealed a tiny black key, and said,”If I ever give you the key to the box, then you’ll know you have my heart.”
“Cool,” was all Bakugo could muster. He was too tired to really care and this point. “I’ll see you inside,” he said, shaking her hand and helping her up the last few steps. The closer he got to her the louder the humming became it would seem. At one point he honestly couldn’t tell whether it was coming from the box itself or from her. Either way he was too tired to care. It was past midnight already and way past his bedtime. What he wouldn’t give for a nap, but instead he got Pandora’s motherfucking haunted box. Great.
“You are a truly strong hero, Bakugo. I look forward to getting to know more about you tonight!” The girl flashed a radiant smile for a split second before she disappeared over the steps and into the mansion.
Moments later he handed the ornate box off to Uraraka who looked just as perplexed as he felt by it. Why did these women feel the need to give him all these personal things to hold onto, what was he, a Goodwill?
The box hummed again and Uraraka jumped in surprise. “It’s so light, it practically feels empty, and yet it’s vibrating??” she asked in surprise, as she inspected it further.
“Yep,” Bakugo said, exhausted and completely devoid of emotion. “It’s haunted, or some shit.”
Uraraka outwardly cringed, and the corners of his mouth rose slightly.
“Keep it safe will you?”
This earned him a ‘sick of your shit’ glare and he responded with a sarcastic ‘you got this’ thumbs up. An interaction which was brought to an end by her rolling her eyes and stomping off set, making sure to hold the black box as far away from her person as possible.
Bakugo turned back to the front and the cameras resumed. Then, instead of a limo pulling up, this time he saw a girl running in heels full throttle towards him. She had short slightly curly light hair, and ram’s horns on her head. She wore a Cheongsam mini dress with long domino shaped sleeves which hid her hands, and gave her the appearance of a bat as she ran.
She stopped for a brief second on the platform in front of him, yawned, then handed him a piece of paper before taking off again towards the mansion.
The piece of paper was rolled up like a fortune cookie and it read:
Onemu Shinya, pleased to meet you!! If you need me, I’ll be napping on the couch.
Bakugo crumpled up the piece of paper, why couldn’t that have been him? This girl clearly had the right idea.
Monoma made Bakugo pose so that Shinso could get an over the shoulder shot of him reading the now wrinkled paper, and then the next limo pulled up.
Only this wasn’t a limo, it was a motorcycle? And off of it stepped a very curvaceous girl of relatively muscular build. She had spiky, ash blonde hair that stuck out of the back of her head like fins, side bangs, and very large pointed teeth that reminded Bakugo a great deal of his best friend Kirishima. She had wide rectangular set eyes and blue irises and thick upper eyelashes.
The girl had on a light blue, almost aquamarine dress in a halter style with a turquoise belt with pink bow and gems embedded into it, turquoise turtle earrings and light salmon pink heels.
She smiled at him and waved, again very similarly to kirishima, before heading up the stairs.
“Hi!” She said, exuberantly shaking his hand, “I’m Tatami Nakagame! I went to Ketsubusu Academy High to train to be a pro! And my quirk is Telescopic, basically meaning I can retract my limbs into myself like a turtle.”
She demonstrated by retracting the arm he’d just shaken and then slowly pulling it back out.
“I see,” Bakugo said, not really sure how well a quirk like that would translate into hero work. “Like a turtle.”
“Yes, I absolutely love turtles so it’s pretty cool!”
“Cool, I’ll see you inside?” Bakugo asked, too tired to put any real effort into further conversation, and hoping this would be enough.
The girl nodded cheerfully as ever and then practically marched up the stairs.
“I like her!” He could hear Ms.Joke call out loudly from the sidelines next to Uraraka and an uncomfortable looking Aizawa. “She seems fun!” And with that she made her way back inside again to do some more interviews. Aizawa relaxed a little bit and Bakugo resumed his front facing position as yet another freaking limo pulled up.
“Hey, Uraraka!” he called without moving his head.
“What?” she yelled back.
“How many of these things are left?”
“You mean the girls??” Uraraka called back, rolling her eyes at his word choice, “Five!”
Bakugo exhaled slowly, loosening his tie as best he could without making it obvious. Okay, just five more girls left, he could do this. He could do this.
Another limo pulled up and yet another girl got out. This one was petite with a round face and pale almost silver hair tinted a periwinkle blue. It was up in a bun with a few shoulder length strands down to frame the right side of her face. She wore a deep navy wrap around dress, with a dark burgundy sash tying it together. High silver heels, a diamond choker, and stud earrings finished off the look, with a fancy rhinestone clip holding her hair up. The girl had intelligent grey eyes and thick dark framed triangular glasses.
She walked with purpose and clearly was in no hurry. When she finally made it to the top she curtsied slightly and then extended her white gloved right hand.
“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Bakugo,” she said formally,”I am Kashiko Sekigai. I was the class president at Isamu Academy Highschool! I graduated top of my class and now I use my quirk, which is called chart, to map out and execute hero battle strategies and rescue operations from the Tokyo hero and police headquarters in Japan. I am often on the ground a lot too as my quirk allows me to project holographic maps of the surrounding area, as well as locate and monitor others in their corresponding locations.”
Bakugo nodded, “That sounds great, very professional. I’ll see-“ but she cut him off again before he could finish his well reversed line.
“I have something for you,” she said, reaching into the folds of her dress and pulling out a big thick leather bound book. “I absolutely love maps!” she said finally, expressing the tiniest hint of emotion for the first time,
“This book is actually an amalgamation of all of my favorite atlas texts. It’s got a book called the Phantom Atlas, and it is a historical map, mythology and geography book of ancient and antique maps. I thought it would be the perfect gift. I mean how can you figure out where you’re going to go, and what path is best for you if you don’t have a map? Or even worse, can’t read one? There’s also Atlas Obscura, Great Maps of the Smithsonian and more! Anyways, we’ll talk more inside, but check out the book! I think you’ll really like it!” She tapped the book with her finger tips a few times. With that she gathered up the skirt of her dress and headed up to the mansion.
Bakugo handed the monster book off to Uraraka. She gave him a few more sips of water and then added it to his ever growing stash.
Meanwhile the girls up at the mansion were getting equally as antsy as he was, and the unlimited bar definitely wasn’t helping matters any. Mt. lady was getting louder and louder as the night went on, shamelessly stating that he was the one for her, and that there was no way on earth that the little hobgoblin (La Brava) would.
“She looks like such a child,” the tall platinum blonde said, champagne glass in hand. “I mean come on, who would even take her seriously? What is she like 14? Better make sure the servers don’t give her any alcohol.”
“She’s older than Bakugo,” Jirou said casually during a walk by.
“Ugh, that’s different!” Mt. Lady responded indignantly.
When Reiko Yanagi finally made her way into the main room, Nejire Hado and a small group of other girls came up to her curiously.
“What’s in the box?” Nejire asked
“Oh, just… a piece of me,” Reiko said in a voice reminiscent of Wednesday Adams before walking away towards the back patio while the other girls gawked.
Jirou, who felt out of place and especially uncomfortable without her headphones, just took up residence by the bar, asking Aoyama, the bartender, about all the different types of alcohol.
Momo came up to the bar to get a glass of red wine. She sat next to Fuyumi, and recognizing her immediately started a conversation about Endeavor and the pressure and expectations that go along with it.
Toru and Nejire bonded quickly and were giggling over sweet white wine in the corner. Nejire was absolutely fascinated by Toru’s invisibility and Toru was eating all of the attention up like a kid at Christmas. Mei joined in a few minutes later, having finally finished cleaning up and drying off her robot. She was equally fascinated by the invisible girl.
La Brava was sitting quietly on the library couch by herself just trying not to cry. No one had really tried to talk to her once she came down the steps. Mountain Lady had demanded to know what she’d said to him to garner such a response, and when La Brava said it was that she loved him. Mt. Lady turned 3 shades of red and one of purple before scoffing, calling her a liar.
“I bet your quirk is something love related, that’s why your wearing all those stupid little hearts. And you used your quirk on him didn’t you?!!”
“Well, I-I did use my quirk, and it is love related, but it’s not like that. I can-“
“No, don’t you try to weasel your way out of this! That was all I needed to hear from you,” Mountain Lady said, angrily cutting off La Brava before yelling, “I knew it! And you all heard it! She quirked him! That should be illegal!” and then she stormed off towards the bar.
The stares and whispers from the other women were enough, so La Brava retreated to the library to avoid them. And that’s where she sat alone, until a woman with long sleeves, and ram horns came strolling in, stretched out and yawned in a dramatic fashion like a cat before curling up next to her and falling fast asleep. This comforted La Brava somewhat, because at least the entire mansion wasn’t against her. Without even realizing it she’d begun to pat the sleeping girl’s head and stared out the window into the night. Was she really going to end up being the villain of this season?
Pulling out from their hiding spot and into the driveway during a break in the limos, The man with staples under his eyes, expertly maneuvered them into position.
“Alright, let’s get this show on the road!!” The man in the black and grey bodysuit said, banging on the roof in excitement when they finally began moving again.
“Himiko, I’m going to miss you, ever so much!” he began dramatically, grabbing her hands. ”I’ll write to you! Don’t forget about me?”
The blonde girl in the pink dress let go of his hands and merely patted his cheek, “It’s only for a few weeks, Twice, a month tops. I’ll be back!Do me a favor?” The girl asked looking up at him.
“Anything!!” the man said enthusiastically.
“Sing that song for me, until I get back?” she whispered sweetly to him.
“You…. You mean the one from that boat movie you love?”
“Yes!” the girl said, grinning brightly and squeezing his shoulders in excitement.
Twice’s masked face lit up for a second until another thought flickered across his mind. “But Dabi hates that song.”
“Even better!” the girl cooed into his ear, her eyes practically glowing.
“If that’s what you want,” Twice said, and the girl nodded enthusiastically.
“YOOOUUURRRR’E HEE-“ but he was silenced by Himiko’s finger across his lips. “Wait one second she said, before pressing her face up against the class to check their location.
“Okay go!” She said excitedly motioning with her hand.
Twice took a deep breath and then began belting,”YOOOUUURRR’E HEEREEE THERE’S NOOOTHING I FEAR!!!! YOU ARE SAAFE IN MY HEART AND-“
“Oh SHUT THE FUCK UP, WILL YOU?!” Dabi yelled banging on the roof from the driver's seat of the limo as Toga grinned in ecstasy and hugged Twice.
“Beautiful,” she whispered cheerfully.
“We’re here.” Dabi growled and Twice looked down at Toga.
“That’s my cue,” he said, giving her one final squeeze before melting into the floor of the limo.
Toga pulled out a vial of blood and began to down it. Quickly she began to change. Her hair got lighter and her eyes darker and rounder. Her pupils changed from slits to stars. She lost ¾ of an inch in height. Her bangs changed shape, her hair shortened in length and then fell out of it’s buns. Her eyelashes grew, and so did her chest till she was unrecognizable.
Toga wiped some blood off of a pair of puffy cloud shaped earrings and put them in as they pulled up to the very front. She was ready.
Trying her best not to smile too widely, she exited the limo and looked up the long winding red staircase in front of her to where Bakugo was standing.
He looked uncomfortable, and that only made Toga’s smile increase. She could smell him from there, the power of a top hero. The number 2 hero to be exact, all hers for the taking. Blood Type A. She was going to enjoy this.
She made her way up to him, trying her best to breath only from her mouth, lest the scent of his blood alone overwhelm her and send her into overdrive. When she got to the top she was struggling with this a bit.
For a moment she just stared up at him. With his broad shoulders, spiked blonde hair and blood red eyes. She shivered in excitement. Oh to have his warm blood all over her, to bathe in it. To drink in its coppery scent and become that strong. To become that powerful and menacing. To be able to light people up with a single flick of her wrist. The thrill of the idea sent shivers down her spine.
She dug her nails into the palms of her hands at the thought, hoping the pain would snap her out of it a bit.
“Hello?” Bakugo said finally, and that’s when she realized she’d been standing there just staring at him for several minutes now.
Toga shook her head, and quickly extended her hand and took his, trying not to fixate on the way his veins looked so prominent and thick, running down his wrist, pumping his blood.
“Hi, my name is Fuwa Mawata. I’m a Taurus. I like fluffy sponge cake, and I also was a student at UA High.”
“Oh really?” Bakugo responded, and she could tell he was at least attempting to place her, and he couldn’t.
“Yeah! But it’s okay, most people don’t remember me. I was in class 2A, the class above you, and we didn’t really interact with you guys a lot.”
“I see,” Bakugo said, “What was your quirk again?”
“Oh, it’s just some minor weather control,” Toga responded. Bakugo nodded, and their conversation stalled out again.
She had to say something to make an impression but what? She’d had a whole plan earlier, but once she smelled him that was it. Plunk. Her brain just chuckled itself right out the window.
“I’ll see you inside,” Bakugo said finally and extended his hand again to help her up.
“Wait!” she said, finally grasping his wrist with both hands. She could feel his pulse now, and it felt good.
Deep breaths Toga, deep breaths she told herself before looking up again and smiling her least sadistic smile. “I just wanted to say that I’m a little nervous, and I hope you don’t hold that against me. Spotlights make me uncomfortable, and I hate this show, but I think you’re worth it. So give me the chance to prove to you that I can be worth it too.”
Bakugo’s lips quirked up a bit at her words and he nodded approvingly, helping her up the last few stairs and towards the mansion.
Toga exhaled deeply as she entered the mansion, hoping to cleanse herself with all the new blood type smells. There were some powerful women here, even better for her she thought fingering the syringes in her hidden dress pockets.
With that, she blended into the crowd.
“So what’s this night been like so far for you?” Ms. Joke asked Cami on camera.
“Well it was really nice getting to uh, meet him,” she said winking at the camera. “But we’ve been here for hours, and it hasn’t even started yet, yo. I was the first one to kiss him, and even I’m concerned he’s going to have forgotten about me by now. There are so many girls here.”
“And how was it? Kissing him?” Ms. Joke asked again.
“Not bad.” Camie said a smile returning to her full lips. “Not bad at all.”
“Who is that?? An acrobat?” Kendo called from the window overlooking the stairs, and Camie held up her index finger in a one second motion to Ms.Joke as she rushed over to the ever growing crowd at the window. Setsuna, and and Pony were there too, followed swiftly by Mina, Nejire, and Toru.
“Is- is she hopping?” Camie asked as they all stared curiously at the new arrival.
They were right. The next woman came hopping, acrobatically up the stairs towards Bakugo. She was in a glittering golden dress, the slit high up her legs with golden strappy heels. Both heels had golden crescent moon symbols on the sides and she wore a golden moon belt buckle and moon/star necklace to match.
She had a very athletic build with muscular arms and legs, as well as long, fluffy white rabbit ears and a cotton tail. Tanned skin, Ruby eyes, and she had extremely long white hair and eyelashes.
She did a triple axle flip and landed firmly in front of him on her heels. And looked him up and down smiling at him appreciatively.
“Names Rumi Usagiyama, but you can call me Mirko.”
“The Rabbit Hero,” Bakugo said, mirroring her glances of both appreciation and appraisal. “I’m familiar.”
“Number 4!” Mirko said proudly. ”And the highest ranking female hero out there.” She grinned triumphantly, flipping her hair out of her face. “Who better to understand a top pro hero, than another top pro hero?”
She got him there, if anyone would understand his position and the necessity of doing lame ass PR stunts like this, it was her. And if this was just a PR stunt for her as well, even better!
“Besides,” Mirko continued undeterred by his slower than usual responses. ”I like a challenge, and I think that you could be a good one.” She grinned as she said the last bit. ”Don’t disappoint me.” Her voice turned cold and she squeezed his hand especially hard as she said this.
Bakugo felt a small rush of adrenaline at the idea of a sparring match, a challenging fight with another top pro hero. Backugo scoffed, “Oh I never disappoint, you can bet your life on that,” he said returning her crushing hand shake, and crowding her space just the tiniest bit in intimidation.
A slight shiver of anticipation ran down Mirko’s spine, her face however remained unflustered, “Alright, alright,” she said excitedly pushing herself further into his space. “That’s what I like to hear! Fire.” She tightened her grip on his hand once again.
“Get ready to lose, bunny,” Bakugo said, thrilled at not having to hold back his aggression with this one, and actually being able to let out some of his frustration in this stressball of a handshake they had going on currently.
“I don’t know how,” she responded, staring right back as if she was still completely unfazed by him and his crushing grip on her in the slightest.
He raised an eyebrow and she smiled, “Just you try it, sparky boy!” she said, giving him one final impressively hard squeeze before letting go, and patting him on the shoulder as she left.
He could still feel the aftermath of her handshake as she disappeared, and the limo containing the next girl pulled up. Only two more to go, he thought exhaling deeply. This should be cake.
She stepped out singing and ready to go, in what might as well have been straight lingerie.
Her hair, eyes, and skin were all various shades of pink, the darkest verging on magenta. Her hair was up in a pair of messy pigtails behind her head and she wore pear earrings. She had painted a very thin black mask on her face.
Most surprising of all was the skimpy black leotard with the plunging heart shaped neckline, and back line. She wore a red bow tie matching Bakugo’s eyes and a barely there black mini skirt with three hearts tying it together on a belt. Knee high black combat boots, fingerless black gloves, and a devilish smile on her face as she sang to him.
She wasn’t particularly good at it, but her joy and confidence in her performance made it bare legs and somewhat enjoyable to watch. For anyone that wasn’t Bakugo that is.
🎶“Dear Future Husband, here’s a few things you need to know if… You wanna be… My one and only, allll my life.”🎶
Bakugo could feel all the blood drain from his face as the base dropped. Two side cannons blasted confetti into the air and the girl began to dance.
🎶”Take me on a date, I deserve a break, and don’t forget the flowers every Anniversary! ‘Cause if you treat me right, I’ll be the perfect wife.” 🎶
At this point in time she was followed by two backup dancers on the stairs, only adding to the hype as she made her way closer, and closer to him. Bakugo had never once wished to be invisible, but right then he would have done just about anything to disappear right that second.
🎶”You gotta know how to treat me like a lady, even when I’m acting crazy, Tell me everything’s alright.” 🎶
The girl with the pink hair continued shimmying up the stairs with her song, making eye contact with him, and it took everything in him not to visibly cringe on camera.
🎶”After every fight, just apologize, and maybe then I’ll let you try and rock my body right. Even if I was wrong, and you know I’m never wrong. Why disagree?”🎶
This wasn’t him. He wasn’t this guy. He wasn’t some schmuck who did that shit. Public displays and confessions, of attachment and affection. And apologizing? Forget it.
Bakugo would honestly rather die. He couldn’t possibly imagine anything scarier than the boring, mundane routine of married life. Of listening, of sharing, catering to someone else, and having them constantly in your space and up your ass. Gross. What the fuck kind of dream is that?
And more importantly, why would so many women project that shit onto him, of all people? It made no goddamn sense. Yet here he was, and there she was almost upon him. Is this what fear felt like? Double gross. Bakugo exhaled deeply and thought about the one thing that never failed to snap him out of any emotion or state and refocus him immediately.
Fucking Deku, and his happy ass smiling like everything was okay. What did that guy know? What was he always so happy about anyways? He didn’t have what Bakugo did back then, but he was always so damn happy, and fucking smiling like that damn nerd thought he was so much better than Bakugo, and it fucking pissed him off like nothing else. He should be the one smiling like that.
If Bakugo was determined to do anything in this life, it was to prove Deku wrong. To show him once and for all who was superior. That’s why he was here, and until then he could fake it, just as he’d done his entire life. And just like that his whole demeanor changed. He had a clear goal now, play the damn game.
🎶”Don’t have a dirty mind, just be a classy guy, buy me a ring, buy, buy me a ring, babe!”🎶
The girl winked at him and cut her song short when she finally reached his mark on the stairs.
“Good evening, I am Kazuho Haneyama! I am a freelance idol, among other things,” she raised her eyebrows at him as she said it, ”and they call me Pop⭐️Step.”
Bakugo nodded, took her hand and shook it firmly.
“So what did you think of my performance?” she asked him immediately.
“That was... quite something,” Bakugo said, trying to think of the best way to rephrase this question as Uraraka had taught him. “How did it feel-“
“Psh, you’re thinking way too much,” Pop said, coldly retracting her hand. “It was just a silly song, with a catchy beat. Can’t a girl just have a little fun without some guy freaking out? I mean do you really think that you’re grand enough to be obsessed over?”
Well that was definitely a on- eighty Bakugo hadn’t seen coming. “If you didn’t think I was, you wouldn’t be here,” Bakugo retorted, somewhat relieved by her sudden coldness. Coldness he could handle; detachment was his element.
Pop smirked. “Perhaps, but at least I got to sing and dance once before you kicked me out.”
She looked at him cautiously with her eyes, as if questioning whether or not he was going to kick her out.
“Keep assuming you know what I’ll do, and I just might keep you here out of spite.” Bakugo rebuked. “Now go inside before I change my mind.”
“Eye, eye, captain splodey pants!” the girl said sarcastically, and Bakugo had to resist the urge to push her down the stairs.
“Now!” he bellowed, and she skipped merilly up the rest of the stairs while humming the beat to her intro song.
It took Bakugo a few minutes to calm down. So much so that by the time he realized what was going on there was a girl sweeping up the confetti coated staircase in front of him. In a fancy black dress with red buttons?
She was singing softly along to the previous tune too.🎶 “Scrub, scrub, scrubbie, scrub. Scrub, scrub, scrubbie scrub.”🎶 Until she noticed he was staring and eventually she looked up.
“I’m sorry,” she said, “but the staircase was just so messy I-I couldn’t help but start to clean it.”
“Are you a contestant?” Bakugo asked the moment he realized the cameras were still rolling on him.
“Why yes. Yes I am!” the girl said, momentarily stopping her sweeping to curtsy in front of him.
This girl was in a black and red, slightly puffy, almost gothic looking dress with red buttons on it. It came down to her knees and puffed up in a bubble style fashion with lace trim at the bottom. She had on black heels with red bottoms, and a red and black bow in her short white hair. Her irises were white as well and she had on a tiny pair of white buttoned gloves.
“Who are you?” Bakugo asked.
“Zookipa,” she mumbled into her long handled broom.
“Zookeeper?” Bakugo reiterated.
“Yes,” she responded, pausing thoughtfully for a moment. “I was never really given an actual name, but I love animals. I started working for this zoo and it just kind of stuck.” She smiled sadly.
“My quirk is literally cleaning, so I was hired on from a young age. I can secrete a dish soap like substance that can clean almost anything or anyone up. Cleaning is what I do best, so it is what I do,” she said, and then she went back to her sweeping, but Bakugo grabbed the handle of her broom, stopping her.
“You weren’t brought on this show to clean up after the other girls,” Bakugo said tensely. “Go inside and join them,”
The girl looked like she was about to argue when Bakugo raised his right eyebrow at her. “That’s an order!” he barked and she bolted, quickly pushing her broom up the stairs to take as much confetti with her as possible.
“Is that a wrap?” he called out to Monoma.
“A wrap?” Monoma scoffed. “That was just part one of the night. Grab a snack while you can, you’ve got the cocktail party, the first impression rose and the actual rose ceremony all after this.”
Bakugo groaned, and rubbed his eyes in exhaustion before letting out one last string of profanity.
“Can I just skip to the first impression rose?” he asked.
“You can hand out the first impression rose whenever you want, but you still have to have at least one, preferably 2 hours of cocktail party to figure out who all you’re going to pick,” Monoma responded in a similarly tired tone. That’s when Uraraka stepped in.
“Why don’t you take a few, go to the bathroom, get a drink, whatever you need to do to relax a bit, and in 10 minutes we’ll be ready for you to hand out the first impression rose.”
Bakugo nodded and the group dispersed.
Iida showed Bakugo to the men’s room around the back and Monoma, Uraraka and Ms. Joke all sat outside the front waiting to get his entrance shot.
Ms. Joke leaned over to Uraraka and Monoma. “Looks like we have quite an impressive group this time... So who do you think he’s going to pick for the first rose?”
Uraraka merely scratched her head, “Who knows what he likes, probably who ever inflated his Ego the most.”
Monoma laughs.
“I rather like the girl with the horns. You know, the one Monoma tried to embarrass. The one he got all protective over? Either her, the motorcycle chick, or that Yaoyorozu girl, maybe? I don’t know, who would you guys pick?
“Oh I don’t know,” Uraraka said, struggling to picture him with any girl. ”There’s the pink girl who brought him pizza, maybe? She seemed like she could be friends with anyone.”
Monoma merely snorted,”Yeah but this isn’t ‘find a friend’, this is “The Bachelor!”
“Alright, who would you pick then?” Uraraka challenged.
“Oh that’s easy, the invisible girl, hands down.”
Both Uraraka, and Ms. Joke’s eyes widened in surprise, “Why?”
To which Monoma merely scoffs at them as if it should be obvious. “Because, she was the only one that thought about what he would like, and straight up asked him his preferences on what she should wear instead of just assuming. Do you have any idea how rare that is? Of course Bakugo would fuck it up, and put her in that basic ass silver dress that’s gonna make her look like a damn disco ball. When she would have looked absolutely stunning the midnight blue silk gown. With her reflective skin, it would have been perfect.” Monoma rolled his eyes. “And she was practically naked, which is hot. You could tell that she has a killer body, but it still left something to the imagination. Plus she’s invisible, so you can literally pretend that she looks like whatever the fuck you want her to look like. You’re not stuck looking at the same boring face every time. And you don’t have to worry about her upstaging you either.”
Uraraka and Ms.Joke both share a look, swat him, and Uraraka rolled her eyes. ”Do you just wake up every morning, come to work and think ‘I’m going to be an insufferable narcissistic asshat today?’”
“I mean, am I wrong?” Monoma asked.
Both Ms.Joke and Uraraka respond with a resounding, “Yes!”
“At least I’m a hat,” Monoma said unabashedly, ”What are you a shoe?”
“We’re women, not accessories assholes! That’s the point!” Ms. Joke responded immediately.
“It was just a metaphor,” Monoma interjected, while Uraraka, and Ms. Joke shared another hopeless look.
“Welp, I’m going to go get some more reaction interviews, and try to see if I can’t find his agent and get his take on all of this.” Emi wiggled her eyebrows playfully, and Uraraka wished her luck.
And with Shinso still checking on the cameras. This left just Uraraka and Monoma sitting alone outside.
“I gotta say something to you,” Monoma said finally.
“What’s that?” Uraraka asked, somewhat surprised by Monoma’s uncharacteristically serious tone.
“I never got why you were so hung up about your quirk, and I still don’t to be honest, but Shinso said it was worse than Brazil… So if that’s the case. I’m truly sorry about what I said and did earlier. It was out of line.”
Uraraka nodded and then was quiet for a minute before she asked, “What happened in Brazil?”
Monoma winced. ”Shinso and I were filming for the Discovery Channel, in South America. We stayed with a local family while filming in this certain area, and there was this girl. Juliana. She was gorgeous, and fun.” The blonde smiled wistfully at the memory before grimacing. “The place was an absolute dump, full of bugs and mud, no cell service, no plumbing. It was a total nightmare, until I met her. However the views were incredible, and I can say now, that the time I spent there was the first and only time in my life that I ever felt truly free.”
“But?” Uraraka said, seemingly confused by where he was going with this.
“But, I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, I was trying to impress a girl. I borrowed her quirk, and… I had no idea the nature of her quirk, nor did she mine, but she asked, and I thought I’d show her rather than tell her. That was a mistake.”
At this point Monoma began to fidget a little. “You see Brazil produces about 1 million carats per year in rough diamonds. And her village worked out a deal where they would mine the diamonds there to protect their land, and sell them for very little money in exchange for that protection, and occasional supplies. Decades later they’d mined just about everything they could without destroying the land. And so her quirk was an especially rare gift because she could turn raw material like grass, water and gravel into diamonds. Indistinguishable from the real thing, yet not entirely natural. If anyone were to find out, her village would likely be bulldozed and she would have been taken to prison for counterfeiting and kept in quality control. Unfortunately someone saw me when I borrowed her quirk, and they put two and two together. I claimed it was my quirk, which was easily disproved and I got charged with obstruction, and banned from the country. She’s still out there, somewhere, but her village isn’t. And it’s all because of my quirk. All because I was trying to show off.”
Uraraka put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed. She could relate to the guilt that he felt and all the trauma associated with that. “You had no way of knowing,” she said. It was the same thing she tried to tell herself everyday.
“Yeah, yeah… I’m an asshole and now I donate 20% of my paycheck to preserving foreign lands out of guilt. Anyways, enough of the pity party okay?” he said shrugging her hand off. “What’s your story? It’s only fair.”
Uraraka looked at him long and hard before taking a deep breath, cupping her hands and leaning in closer to whisper it to him. “Okay, I was eight,” she said and the more she continued whispering the bigger Monoma’s eyes got, until she finished.
His hand went to his mouth and he nodded as if all the pieces of the puzzle were finally clicking together.
“Fuck… I am so sorry, Uraraka,” he said, taking one of her hands and squeezing it. She nodded in acceptance and wiped her eyes with her free hand.
“Next time just hit me, okay?” Monoma said, still holding her hand, and she giggled just as Bakugo and Iida returned.
“Hey, what’d I miss?” Bakugo growled in irritation.
“Nothing yet,” Monoma responded, returning his annoyance. ”We were waiting on you.”
“Hmph,” Bakugo responded, it looked like more than waiting to him, but he wasn’t about to say that. “Let’s get on with it then.”
“Do you know who you’re going to give the rose to?” Monoma questioned.
“Course I do.” Bakugo grumbled.
“And you know her name?” Monoma quipped.
“Close enough!” Bakugo growled.
“Oh this ought to be good,” Monoma finished, heading inside to start.
Once the cameras were rolling Bakugo entered the foyer without a formal greeting. All the girls gathered around in excitement as he made his way straight to the coffee table, and picked the long stemmed rose off the glass tray in the center.
He looked around the room for a split second, but before a single one of them could speak,he called out, “Little Power House!” Everyone looked around in surprise, visibly and some audibly questioning who that was.
“Well, where is she?” Bakugo barked at the women in the room who were just as confused as he was.
Mt. Lady clicked her tongue angrily against the roof of her mouth. “Are you referring to the little one with the zombie eyes?”
Bakugo nodded, and Mt. Lady downed her glass of champagne in frustration.
“She’s in the library, I think,” Toru responded to him helpfully.
“She is,” Kendo confirmed. “I just saw her in there a few minutes ago.”
Bakugo nodded appreciatively to the two girls and headed off in what he thought was the direction of the Library as Mt. Lady made a very loud, dramatic sound into her wine glass.
It took Bakugo all of 10 minutes to realize he was lost, and what’s worse is that he was lost on camera. He realized it when he was suddenly outside on the back patio with another group of women staring at him expectantly. He nods at them curtly and then immeasurably shuts the door he just opened before any of them could speak.
“Okay, can one of you just tell me where the goddamn library is?” Bakugo yelled at Sero and Iida who were following him around with a camera and sound equipment. Both of them silently shook their heads. Iida quickly wrote down and then held up a sign that said: ‘Just pretend we’re not here!’ Sero gave him a thumbs up.
Bakugo was about to pull his hair out when Uraraka stepped in from around the hall. She nodded her head to the left and he followed her, until she pointed to a door five down from him on the left.
He stormed in, apparently the last one into what had now become a collection of all the women in the house crowded around the couch that La Brava and Onemu were on.
The girl with the ram horns was still fast asleep, but La Brava looked genuinely terrified of what was about to happen.
“Here,” Bakugo barked, thrusting the long stemmed rose into the tiny girl’s face.
“I- w-what??” La Brava responded genuinely shocked.
“Psh,” one of the girls said from over her shoulder.
“Take it,” Bakugo said, unceremoniously tossing it down into her lap like a hot potato.
Whispers broke out all around the couch at this exchange and La Brava’s surprise and awe quickly turned into discomfort and concern. “I- I can’t-”
“Hey will you guys knock it off!” Bakugo quickly read the room and angrily called out to the rest of the women, “I can’t hear her speak, and I can’t think with you all cackling like that.” And just like that the room was dead quiet.
Bakugo exhaled in exhaustion. ”Let me just say this now, I’m not going to tolerate any drama in this house, so if you all have a problem, let’s hear it.”
It was Mirko who finally stepped forward and Bakugo raised an eyebrow in surprise.
“Now I came in late, so I’m not entirely sure what happened, but as best I can figure out, they all think that La Brava is in possession of a love quirk, and that she quirked you into picking her, and giving her that rose.”
Now it might’ve been exhaustion, it might’ve been sleep deprivation, it might’ve been the fact that he was living his worst nightmare out and had just chugged a 5th of Jack in the bathroom, but Bakugo busted out in a fit laughter at the sheer ridiculousness of both the situation and the accusation. There was a slight edge to it that prevented anyone from joining in.
“Do I look like the kind of shmuk who could be love quirked? Because if anyone here thinks that lowly of me, then you can go ahead and just leave.” The room was silent again.
“Take the rose Power House, you earned it. Fair and square.” Bakugo said emphasizing his final word and making his way to the exit. “I need a drink.” And with that he left the room. Uraraka hurriedly trailed him in concern and the girls broke into conversations amongst themselves.
Meanwhile outside the mansion, Dabi and Twice were back walking through the woods after having just watered the roses.
“And you’re sure you’re not going to miss Toga at all?” Dabi asked his friend.
“Not one bit,” the villain responded in monotone.
“I will,” Twice said looking up at the moon. “In fact,” he took a deep breath and Dabi froze midstep, his left eye bulging.
“Don’t you dare,” he hissed.
🎶“ NEEEEAAARRR, FAAAAARRRR, WHERE EVVVERRRR YOOOOUUUU ARREE. YOOUU ARE SAFFE IN MY HEART AND MY HEART WILL-“
“I’m going to fucking kill you!!!!”
Notes:
I hope you all enjoyed reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it! Feel free to scream about it with me in the comments, or follow me on instagram and twitter for more updates and art! @K_comics1
I"m starting a new job this week and hope to get on a better schedule for writing, so that means more updates to all my multi chapter fics!! As well as contributing my first angsty story to the Kacchako Big Bang! Until then I hope you all have a wonderful night/day! <3
serenasakura on Chapter 1 Sat 30 Jan 2021 09:43AM UTC
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Scarlett_Art on Chapter 1 Sun 31 Jan 2021 10:47AM UTC
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OrangeCatWithDancingSlippers on Chapter 1 Sat 06 Feb 2021 09:36PM UTC
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anowlfulpun on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Jan 2021 12:55AM UTC
Last Edited Sat 30 Jan 2021 12:55AM UTC
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Scarlett_Art on Chapter 2 Sat 30 Jan 2021 11:24AM UTC
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Floaty_Explodey on Chapter 2 Mon 01 Feb 2021 07:53PM UTC
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Scarlett_Art on Chapter 2 Mon 22 Feb 2021 10:51AM UTC
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Floaty_Explodey on Chapter 2 Mon 22 Feb 2021 01:52PM UTC
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OrangeCatWithDancingSlippers on Chapter 2 Sat 06 Feb 2021 10:07PM UTC
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nootnoot345 on Chapter 3 Sat 08 May 2021 02:35AM UTC
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Ofsoulsandshinigami (Guest) on Chapter 3 Sat 08 May 2021 05:00PM UTC
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blacktea on Chapter 3 Sun 09 May 2021 01:26AM UTC
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Scarlett_Art on Chapter 3 Sun 09 May 2021 02:07AM UTC
Last Edited Sun 09 May 2021 02:08AM UTC
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Scarlett_Art on Chapter 3 Sun 20 Jun 2021 01:06PM UTC
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