Work Text:
Let Me
It had been almost a year since you had become part of the Avengers. Something you never thought would happen, not that you didn't think you could, but because of the craziness it represented.
You were an extremely hard worker, joining the ranks of Shield and working your way up the ladder. There were so many better than you when you joined and you expected that. Coming from a background that left little room for experience you knew you would have to hit the ground running.
So you did.
Always early to class, late to leave. If you weren't in the gym you could be found in the shooting range or deep into your studies. The librarians of the Shield Library knew you on a first name basis and had an office pool going on if you actually slept.
Your hard work paid off when you left the rest of your class in the dust. You didn't stop after graduation and after several years of working your way up you found yourself leading Shield's strike team, aiding Steve Rogers, Captain America himself. Everything seemed to be going great until the rug was pulled out from under you.
Shield falling, you could handle, it was hard but you always knew such a large entity had an equally large target on them and as the saying goes, the bigger they are the bigger they fall.
But losing your team, it broke you.
It was the fact you knew these guys that went through thick and thin, right beside you. These guys you trusted with your life, who had your back and you had theirs. They were traitors. All of them.
You slipped away, back into nothing, attempting to live a normal life that you tried to convince yourself you were content with. Your mind felt like sludge, and your thoughts exhausted themselves constantly wading through it.
After some time Steve came to ask you if you wanted to join the Avengers, and at first you declined. It took the full stubbornness of that man to get you to cave and agreed to at least check it out. It's how you, a little ol nothing became an Avenger.
You moved into the wing that was shared between Steve, Sam and Bucky. With four bedrooms and a common area it was the only wing with a room available. Sam welcomed you with open arms and was the easiest to click with. Bucky, while nice and polite, was also very quiet and kept to himself. It took weeks for the two of you to start talking and from there this friendship began.
At first you didn't want to see a therapist, you didn't feel ready and Steve didn't push you. It was between late night hangouts and workout sessions that Bucky convinced you to start going. Only then did the real healing start.
At some point since then, you had gone past the friendship line with Bucky. The two of you naturally started to gravitate towards each other. No one said anything and personally you didn't care, you just enjoyed the ride you were on with him.
After an entire day of training, meetings and paperwork you found Sam and Steve in the common area, starting dinner.
"Smells good, may I join?" You ask from the doorway.
Sam looked up, "You gunna backseat cook?"
"Of course." You say as you came up to the island.
"Fine." Sam said with fake exasperation. "But you gotta help chop."
"Grab some veg." Steve was already cutting a few and he gestured towards the fresh produce pile on the counter.
"Steve! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" You teased as Steve deadpanned and Sam busted laughing.
You could see the smile attempting to pull at the corners of his mouth. "My mother's dead."
"Damn, you used that card tonight!" You jumped in and grabbed a carrot. The jokes and laughter continued on as the meal came together.
With dinner made and eaten, you sprawled out on the couch with Sam and Steve enjoying the satisfaction of a good meal and the pure laziness the night was turning into.
"Oh no, get back here. I ain't done with you yet." Sam said as he flicked his controller, following the monster in the video game back into its forest lare.
You were content to watch as Steve sat drawing in his sketchbook. It almost felt normal.
The sound of someone entering the room pulled Steve's attention. "Hey Buck."
"Hey." It came out soft and you glanced over at the man. "Came to grab some dinner."
"It's in the oven," you sat up slightly to look at him with a smile, "kept it nice and warm for ya."
A grateful smile tugged at his features as he continued to dish himself up some food. You took in his disheveled appearance, the ever growing dark circles under his eyes, even the way he moved gave way to his exhaustiveness.
You fell back onto the couch and glanced over at Steve, trying your hardest to not react, but Steve could see the concern in your eyes. Just as you could see it in his. Bucky left with a small plate, retreating back to his room.
"This has gone on for what, four days?" Sam spoke gently as he continued to play his game. "Are we really just going to sit here and let it go on?"
"I'm not sure if there is anything we can do." Steve let his sketchbook fall to his lap.
Sam leaned forward slightly as he began another fight. "We gotta try something. He's going to hit a wall soon."
"Any ideas? I'm all ears." Steve asked, waiting for the response.
You pulled yourself up from the couch and stood up, "I've got one." You spoke before making your way out of the room.
"I meant to discuss and decide together," Steve said to your empty spot as he pulled his sketchbook back up, "But it's cool, you do you boo."
Sam chuckled slightly, "She does any other time, why would this be any different? Besides, she's good for him."
Steve shook his head as they fell back into the laziness.
You on the other hand had made a beeline for your room. You walked in, straight to the bathroom and your stash of luxury bath products. You grabbed the whole paper bag, throwing in some other pampering items and left. You came to Bucky's door and knocked three times before waiting patiently. You heard movement before the door opened.
"Hey doll." You saw straight through his mask.
"Oh Buck." You brought a hand up to the side of his face and felt him lean into it. His facade melted to reveal the tired and torchered Bucky beneath it. "May I come in." Your voice came out soft as you coaxed him back into his room, closing the door behind you.
You let your hand fall down his flesh arm and gently wrap your fingers around his wrist. You walked backwards towards the bathroom. He let you guide him, too tired to protest.
You sat the bag down before you began to pick up and tidy the bathroom of clothes that had been tossed without a care. Bucky sat down on a wooden slatted bench that sat against the tile wall, the bag at his feet. You watched his form slump down slightly and his eyes trained down on the tile in front of him. You felt an ache envelop your heart as you slowly came to position yourself between his legs, he leaned forward till his forehead came to rest on your stomach.
"I don't want you to pity me." His voice was small.
Your fingers lightly dragged across his shoulder as they settled around the back of his neck, your thumbs stroked just before his ear.
"Do you feel like I am doing this out of pity?" The tone to your question was genuine, as Bucky looked up at you. The tears in his eyes threatened to spill over. "I'm doing this because I love you." Bucky swallowed hard as the tears slid down his face, meeting the palm of your hands. "I know we have been dancing around each other for awhile now and I know this may be too much for you. I'm more than okay going at whatever speed you need but right now, just. Please let me help you." Bucky shook his head up and down slightly. A smile pulled at your lips before you leaned forward and placed them quickly to his forehead.
His arms came to wrap around your waist and firmly pulled you in, not wanting to let go. You bent down slightly grabbing the handle of the bag before bringing it back up. Bucky sat back, his hands still on your waist.
"Okay, I'm going to set this up," you pulled a basket out of the bag that was spilling over with tea candles. "In there, are are two plastic containers. Pick one from each you think smell the best."
It didn't take you long to place the candles around and light them with the matches you kept in the bottom of the basket. You then turned your attention to running the bath. Getting it to a perfect temperature before coming back to Bucky.
"I like these." He held his selections in his hands.
You took one of them and brought it over under the running water, watching it erode and disappear, forming large fluffy bubbles in its wake. A sweet, smoky scent began to fill the room with notes of citrus wafting around. "Wanna drop the other one in?" You turned and smiled at him.
Bucky lurched forward and came to stand next to you, "Just?" He held it out over the rising water. You nodded encouragingly. He dropped the ball in the water, watching as it began to fizz and froth amongst the bubbles. The calming scents of lavender and chamomile mixed into the air, all together creating a relaxing aroma.
Bucky was mesmerized by the swirls of blue taking over the water. He looked over to find you pulling your shirt off. His eyes widening slightly.
"Oh, you're joining?" The nerves were front and center.
It wasn't the first time he had seen you naked or close to it, but this time you were not on a mission or needing stitched up.
You stood in your underwear and tank top, "I was planning on it, unless it's not okay." You pulled your hair up into a bun. "Just to clarify, I'm not expecting anything more than a bath."
"Okay, it's okay, It caught me off guard is all." Slowly Bucky followed suit, starting with peeling off his shirt.
After shedding the last of your clothes you climbed into the tub, slowly sinking into the steaming water. You glanced up at Bucky, still in his briefs, before motioning to the space in front of you.
He haphazardly pulled his hair into a bun before discarding the last bit of clothing and joining you. He climbed in, sitting in front of you, with his knees popping out of the water slightly. Your knees were on either side of him as you sat up closer. Sliding your hands up his back out of the water you watched as Bucky seemed to relax a little further. You slowly began to trace slowly down his back, letting your fingers glide over every scar. As he felt your touch run over the thick scarring around his arm, you heard the metal whir in response.
Bucky moved his arm slightly in an attempt to quiet it. "I've imagined how your touch would feel." His confession was calm.
You continued to trace, "How does it compare?"
"God." It was a breathy response paired with a shake of his head, "it doesn't."
"Good, because I don't want to stop." You let your hands slip back down his back, into the water.
You sat up a little further placing a string of kisses down his spine. Starting at the nape of his neck while your hands roamed open palmed from his sides, up over his abs, to just under his chest. Pressing fully against his back you hugged him back into you as his flesh hand clasped on top of yours.
"Friday, please dim the lights and play something quiet." Your voice was just above a whisper. The AI responded by letting the soft notes of slow jazz play through the speakers.
You leaned back, tugging Bucky with you. His head came to rest on your shoulder and even with the super soldier size tub, Bucky barely fit. You laid in the tub for what seemed like forever. The jazz continued on as you continued to absentmindedly draw and move against his skin.
Your fingers found their way up to his scalp and Bucky responded by shift to give you a better angle. You carded your fingers through his hair, letting your nails gently scratch back his head. Your fingers pressed and dragged down his neck and over the top of his shoulders. Your thumbs almost digging past his shoulder blades, working out every knot as good as you could.
When your fingers began to tire you pulled him back on top of you again and continued with the gentlest of touches all over his body. You let yourself get lost in the moment and enjoyed the relaxed bubble you had created.
After some time you noticed Bucky fighting off sleep, his eyelids slowly sinking down over his eyes only for them to quickly open again before repeating.
"We gotta get out Buck, you're falling asleep on me." You nudged him slightly, "and we've been here so long the water's starting to run cold."
Carefully Bucky got up out of the water, his body sluggish from his relaxed state. He helped you up, making sure you were steady. You toweled yourself off and blew out the candles as Bucky left to find clothes, letting you get redressed. You managed to put your underwear and tank top back on, not having the energy for much else you shoved the pile of extra clothes on the bench before stepping out.
Bucky stood in a pair of black boxers briefs as he redid his bun, taming the wild hairs that had escaped. It was a delicious site and one you would store away for yourself.
"Is it okay if I stay?" You ask as you sit on the edge of his bed with your right foot tucked under your left knee.
"More than." Bucky spoke through a yawn.
As you made yourself comfortable he crawled into bed beside you, wrapping his arm around your middle and pulling you close.
"Thank you." You heard him whisper before pressing his lips against the back of your shoulder.
You smiled, "You are always welcome."
He tugged you in tighter before drifting off, you followed shortly after.
When you woke the next morning, the sun was shining and creating a warm glow throughout the room. Glancing at the clock you saw that it was not yet nine in the morning. Bucky still lay sound asleep beside you. You got up to use the bathroom, fully expecting to find Bucky awake when you came back, but to your surprise he was still out. Not having the heart to wake him you settled back in and chose to enjoy the moment for as long as it would last.
You drifted in and out of sleep until a rustling from the door took your attention. You watched as Steve and Sam poked their heads into the room. You raised an eyebrow at them, "Can I help you?" You whispered yelled as quietly as you could.
"Oh no, this answered all our questions." A grin stretched across Sam's face.
Steve shook his head slightly, "Sorry!" Steve's face had an apologetic look as he forcing Sam to leave.
You squinted at the door before turning over to find Bucky looking back, with a soft smile and eyes half lidded and sleep still swimming around.
"Did they wake you?" You asked.
He shook his head, "I've been awake for almost twenty minutes, was just enjoying this." He woke up slowly, "How long did I sleep."
"Close to thirteen hours." You giggled. "Didn't even stir when I got up to pee."
A delightful sigh came from Bucky, "Best sleep I've gotten in a while," He stretched before rolling over and propping himself up on his elbow. "All thanks to you doll."
"You don't have to thank me." You looked up at his well rested face, the dark circles faded and a glint of energy behind his eyes.
"Payment then." A smile creeping on his face.
You scoffed. "You are not-"
Before you could finish, you were silenced by his lips on yours. He pulled away slightly, silently asking and praying that it was alright. You answered by lifting yourself up to catch his lips again. Your hands finding their way behind his neck, pulling yourself up and closer as he brought his other arm down across you. Cageing you against the bed to keep the two of you from toppling over.
You leaned back into the cushions, Bucky followed without breaking the kiss. You broke apart, with the need to breath, "That will be the only form of payment I accept." His forehead rested against yours and you could feel him chuckle against you.
"What about breakfast?." He replied.
"Okay, I will accept two forms of payment." You nodded, "However we are well past breakfast and quickly approaching that line between brunch and lunch."
Bucky quickly got out of bed in exaggerated panic. "We gotta go, we can not miss this window."
"We may have to resort to, dare I say it." You paused for dramatic effect as you sat up. "Breakfast for dinner."
Bucky let out a gasp. "No!" You giggled as he picked you up out of bed and boosted you up over his shoulder.
"Bucky! I need pants!" You playfully punched his back.
He placed you back on the ground with a grin on his face. "Okay, okay, I guess. But hurry up I'm starving."
"Withering away before my eyes." You added as you quickly ran to the bathroom and grabbed the rest of your clothes. "Okay ready."
Bucky held the door open for you, "After you."
"Why thank you." You made your way to the common room, Bucky by your side.
As the two of you made breakfast you were too caught up in your own little world to notice Sam and Steve smiling on like proud parents.
-end-