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He finds Luffy exactly where Luffy said he would be. Unconscious, half starved. Alive. Here.
This is his fault. If he didn’t come here, Luffy wouldn’t have followed. If he wasn’t such a monumental screw up, none of this would have happened.
He gives Luffy the food. It’s terrible, he knows it is. It’s been crushed and the rain seeped through the basket, running everything inside. It’s inedible.
Luffy eats it. Luffy eats it and says he loves it. He complements and praises the disgusting thing.
You’re lying, he thinks, his heart feeling like it’s been stabbed. He must be. How could anyone love something so fucked up?
Luffy wants him to come back. He can’t. He tells him why, but Luffy won’t accept it.
I’m doing this to protect you, he wants to say, but doesn’t. Please, please let me protect you. Don’t get hurt for me, because of me. You’re too important.
But he already is.
“Tell me what you really want,” Luffy demands, as if what he wants has ever mattered, but Luffy always knows just how to force him open.
“I want to go home to the Sunny,” he tells him, crying and open and raw and it feels like he’s bleeding.
But he can’t. He doesn’t even like the Vinsmokes, but he can’t just let them die.
Luffy understands, understands him and what he needs to do. Luffy wants to help.
You can’t, he wants to scream at him, you can’t help me. I’m being stupid and selfish and if you get hurt doing this, I’ll never forgive myself.
“If this is something you have to do, then I’ll make sure it gets done,” Luffy tells him, “I’m not leaving this island without you.”
Luffy’s time and dedication and respect and love are worth so so much. He’s wasting it on him, he’s not worth it.
“Sanji,” Luffy’s voice is clear and determined and so damn sure, “You’re worth it.”
I can’t take this, he thinks. He can’t deal with this. He doesn’t deserve anything, but Luffy is giving him everything.
He breaks. He cries and he screams and he takes everything that is him, every disgusting, useless part of himself and leaves it at Luffy’s feet.
And Luffy takes it. Takes him and holds him and lets him fall apart all over him and just accepts it like it’s something wonderful.
“Why?” he asks him. Why does he want someone so broken? How someone so great want someone so worthless?
“Because,” he answers easily, “You’re Sanji.”
He doesn’t believe that, can’t believe that Sanji is worth anything.
But Luffy does.
He clutches at him tightly, desperate to hold onto him for as long as he can.
He doesn’t think he can be the person Luffy thinks he is.
But, as long as Luffy will let him, he’ll stay.