Chapter Text
Jon remembers the first time he met Gerry. It was only a few years since Mr Spider (because now, that’s how Jon measured time, however subconscious it was - Before and After) and he had been 10. Jon was in the same park, only a few blocks from his house. And he was alone, as usual. The only difference this time was that his grandmother knew where he was. He had watched when Gerry when he first got there, accompanied by a harsh looking woman who whispered in his hear before disappearing, and leaving him alone, and looking utterly lost.
Now, almost an hour later, Gerry was still standing in the exact same place, watching the other kids with something akin to both wariness and wistfulness. Before Jon realized what he was doing, his feet had carried him to the other boy, looking up at him with a nervous determination.
“I’m Jonathan. Jon.” Gerry had looked at him with eyes wide in surprise, long enough for Jon to start rambling. “Sorry. You- it just- you looked like you might like someone to sit with you.” Jon stammered out, feeling his face begin to burn in embarrassment. “Sorry- I’ll leave you alone.” But before he could start to walk away, Gerry shook his head vehemently.
“No, that - I don’t mind.” Jon brightened into a smile and sat on a bench, waving Gerry over to sit next to him.
“I’m Gerard. You can call me Gerry.” He said, lowering himself onto the bench with a shy smile.
“It’s nice to meet you, Gerry.” And Jon meant it.
~~~
After that, the boys saw each other near constantly. Years went by, and they had become almost inseparable. Jon learned that Gerry’s mother owned a bookstore in Bournemouth that they lived above. Gerry learned that Jon lived with his grandmother and that he was known for running off. Jon found out that Gerry was scared of his mother. And Jon still remembers the night he told Gerry about Mr Spider.
They had been 12, curled up in a blanket for they had built in Jon’s bedroom. Jon would never know what compelled him to tell Gerry, but the story had come spilling out.
“I had never really liked spiders before that,” Jon said as he finished, staring at the ceiling to avoid looking at Gerry, avoid seeing the obvious disbelief on his face that Jon knew would be there. “But ever since that day, ever since I watched him get eaten, I can’t even look at the things.” Gerry just nodded, carefully wrapping an arm around Jon’s shoulders, feeling just how bad his friend was shaking.
“For what it’s worth Jon, spiders do suck.” He said sagely, startling a laugh out of Jon.
“Yes, they do.” Thank you for believing me, is what he didn’t say. He didn’t need to to know Gerry would always be there. Thank you for being here.
~~~
When Jon turned 13, his grandmother turned the task of laundry over to him. And the first thing he did was raid Gerry’s closest. His grandmother had always dressed him like a little professor, and Jon hated it.
So anything that was too small for Gerry - band shirts ripped jeans, the odd hoodie - became his. His grandmother sniffed and tutted about how unprofessional, how much of a degenerate he looked like, but Jon couldn’t make himself care. There is very little in his life he feels like he can control. But this, as small as it is, is something that he can, Jon tells Gerry on one of the nights they both manage to sneak out. Gerry just nods his agreement, looking up at the sky.
“And if she really cares that much, she could just start doing my laundry again,” Jon said a few minutes later, sending Gerry into a fit of laughter at just how petulant he sounded.
~~~
They are 15 the first time Gerry kisses Jon. (For the life of him, Jon can never remember what they had been doing before. But, he guesses that it doesn’t really matter in the end.) At first, Jon is so shocked that he freezes. Then he becomes aware of Gerry pulling away, babbling apologies and “I should’ve asked”, and he quickly grabs Gerry’s wrist to keep him from moving any further away.
“It’s okay. You just surprised me.” Jon finally says, staring at the space between them. “I don’t mind if you kiss me.”
They talk later, about labels and boundaries and their guardians’ reactions. But for now, they are truly happy, and Jon prays to a God he isn’t sure he believes in that no one will take this from them.
~~~
Jon only met Gerry’s moth a few times, but the first will always stick with him. Incidentally, it was also the first time he had ever gone over to Gerry’s house.
Gerry had warned him of course, of how Mary Keay was, but Jon had told him not to worry. Jon thought himself prepared. He wasn’t.
“You have the mother’s strings wrapped around you.” The words caused Jon to go rigid, wishing nothing more than Gerry getting back from wherever Mary had sent him quickly.
“She has plans for you. Best not to interfere.” Mary said, an arched grin on her face as she winked, almost as if she was telling a joke, and Jon was in on it. Then the woman turned and left Jon frozen in place until he felt an arm around his shoulders.
“Like I said, she can be a bit...much the first time,” Gerry said apologetically, squeezing Jon in a tight hug.
“No shit, ” Jon replied bluntly, startling himself with a breathless laugh.
They spent the rest of the night in Gerry’s room, talking and ignoring Mary Keay like the plague.
~~~
The clearest memory Jon has of Gerry is the last day he ever saw him. They had been 17.
Mary Keay’s death had come as a surprise to very few. When the call came, Gerry’s wavering voice telling him what had happened, Jon couldn’t say he was surprised. (There had always been something about her that had unnerved Jon. And maybe it was a horrible thing to think, but Jon was glad that Mary Keay was no more.)
The funeral was a small affair, with Jon and his grandmother accounting for two out of the five people attending. Aside from Gerry, Jon didn’t know the others. But one thing that was made very, very clear - Mary Keay had not been a woman that many people liked.
One thing about the funeral had stuck with Jon for over a decade - Gerry hadn’t cried. (Not than Jon could blame him. Mary Keay was not a good mother.) He had just stood next to the grave, a distant, far away stare in his eyes, face set in stone. At that moment, Gerry had looked so much like his mother that it scared Jon a little bit.
The next morning, Gerry was gone. There was no note, no answer to the phone and the flat he had shared with his mother was empty. (How Gerry had managed that overnight would always be a mystery.) Gerry was truly gone, disappearing without sparing anyone a second thought.
Jon looked for him for months, but he could never find anything. Then he gets his acceptance letter to Oxford, and he buried Gerard Keay with the rest of his childhood. But it never stops hurting.
~~~
When Jon arrives at Oxford, he meets Georgie. Georgie is everything Jon likes in a person - kind, understanding, comforting, but smart and with a dry wit that never fails to make Jon laugh - and they become fast friends. No one is surprised when they start dating. They stay together for a year before they break up. (it’s mutual and they both agree that they were better as friends.) Months later, Georgie and Jon are laying on the floor, half-drunk wine bottles in hand and the Admiral laying between them as Jon tells her about Mr Spider and Gerard Keay. Then Georgie tells him about Alex and what she saw in the medical science building. They lament about lost friends, and the next morning they make fun of each other for handovers. But they don’t talk about Gerry or Alex again.
They live together until they graduate at 21 and go their separate ways.
~~~
Jon is 23 when he gets a job offer at the Magnus Institute and accepts. He has always been interested in the supernatural and paranormal (something his time Georgie had done nothing to stop, just made his interest grow) but more than that, he needed proof. Proof that Mr Spider is - was - real. Proof that he isn’t crazy. (And maybe, a small part of him says, maybe he can find out what happened to Gerry.)
Throughout the interview with Elias Bouchard, Jon couldn’t help but think of Mary Keay and her cryptic words. He shakes hands with the man, trying to ignore the pit opening in his stomach, and a voice that sounds suspiciously like Gerry’s telling him he’s just made a terrible mistake.
4 years go by, and nothing. No clues, but plenty of paranormal happenings. Jon has gotten used to it, even made a few friends. (Tim and Sasha are amazing, and Jon wouldn’t trade them for anything. And it’s them he remembers as the wax museum explodes, wishing things would’ve gone differently.)
But then Gertrude disappears and Jon is shoved into the head Archivist position. The Prentiss, the Not Them, Jurgen Leitner, getting kidnapped multiple times, and for the first time in years, Jon finds himself wishing Gerard Keay was there with him.