Chapter 1: kruger real name is eren
Chapter Text
in this house we love pieck @Monkey.man
good mornin whores
ohayo uwu @pieck.waifuwu
wanna play some warzone??
in this house we love pieck @monkey.man
yes
*screams in anger issues* @mr.krugerburger
wtf ur name @monkey.man
in this house we love pieck @monkey.man
did I lied? @mr.krugerburger
*screams in anger issues* @mr.krugerburger
stop being pieck's simp pls
in this house we love pieck @monkey.man
never
ohayo uwu @pieck.waifuwu
@monkey.man 💕
in this house we love pieck @monkey.man
@pieck.waifuwu 💕
legally blonde @annie._1
then u ask why ppl think u 2 r a couple
mmmonkeysimp @simpofamonkey
wAIT THEY ARE NOT?
legally blonde @annie._1
@simpofamonkey lol no
fuck ymir Kruger is my god @krugerstannn
zeke and pieck r not a couple,,, we been robbed
annie the best womën @drxsxrb
my life is a fucking lie, pieck confirmed in her livestream,,, dont touch me,,, I ship them so hard
avemaria @cuandoserasmia
BSJDHSJHDJD KRUGER SHOWS HIS HAND IN ZEKE LIBESTREAM I SJVDJFHSJHD THE RINGSSSS THE POLISH NAILS,,, HIS HANDS,,,,, I'm ded
kruger pls shock me @krugersimpp
ok but zeke call him "eren",,, his real name is Eren and not kRUGER????
BLM @mjjj
this whole livestream was chaotic.
lance @blueboiii
HIS NAME IS EREN HIS NAME IS EREN HIS NAME IS EREN HIS NAME IS EREN HIS NAME IS EREN HIS NAME IS EREN HIS NAME
mr sandman @sasasanddd
I'm diyin for a face reveal but we know he's really uncomfortable with that, so we respect the lil fav white men
stan loona @fancyyou
idk if the eldian count as white,,, I mean yes, there's is really light skin tones like zeke but then there is darkest like Kruger,, but of what I know it doesn't matter how u look bc if u are a eldian, u are fucked
mr sandman @sasasanddd
yeah, if it wasn't bc they use this whole mark to identify them and some of their cultures, we couldn't know if they are eldians. but they are, and they are discriminated by anyone, even black ppl, i'm tellin' u,, I'm black
lance @blueboiii
I'm Cuban and I'm telling you when we grow up listening the WORST anti eldian shit,,, like,,, in the church most of the times but,, I hate it,, bc I'm latino and I'm discriminated in the usa,, can u believe eldians are hate by almost ALL THE COUNTRIES?
Keith @redboiii
as a mixed race marleyan-eldian, I say proudly fuck u marley, fuck anti eldians. u take my mom away from me.
lance @blueboiii
@redboiii are u ok
Keith @redboiii
no, come here wanna cuddle @blueboiii
lance @blueboiii
@redboiii omw 🏃💨
kruger stan n 1 @krugersaysfuckmarley
DON'T TOUCH ME.
[video taken from eren's livestream. "someone ask in the chat, well actually everyone is asking" kruger laughs."why dont you make a face reveal? and stuff. Well, you know... is complicated, I'm not sure if I'm capable of your expectations about me" the screen show his minecraft game. The chat become crazy with his words, you can see several comments, most of them supporting him. "what I'm trying to say is... for example... Zeke, you know he have scars, the most he have shown it's in his rigth arm. This big and ugly. Well, I have too... I... what I'm- I'm trying to say is that my face have Mark's and my body is not gonna be what do you expect... Yeah I know that dosen't matter". he laugh at the donation making sure that he knows that his fans will not care about who he is." but, do you remember I say I was bullied? I dont remember telling that, yes... the chat screams make me realice that I never have speak about it..." Eren esmeralda eyes reads the most he can, the comments arriving with so much speed that one of his MODS, annie, had to put it in slow. "well, yeah... I was bullied as a kid, I did't have friends except Mikasa and Armin, and Mikasa doesn't count I thinks since she's like my sister, I mean, yeah she's my sister. It's not that I'm gonna cry if anyone says something about me, I'm Eldian my DM is full of threats and insults. But it make me uncomfortable, a little, I think I'm not ready, not yet. It's just, I'm really not into self care, I mean I don't shower a lot, my hair is messy, I have big eyeballs... Annie stop sayin I just get shower once per month that's disgusting... I mean yeah, the most I spent without showing was like 5 months but that dosent count because I was in the Island". meanwhile he talks, his minecraft character was mining. "it not that I feel bad about people criticizing me, really, I dont care. But being a public person, with so much followers is a lot... but yeah, maybe some day I will make a face reveal. Yes Chat, my name is Eren not Kruger... Kruger is a man I meet when I was younger, long story for another time. Now, I'm trying to find some motherfucker diamons."]
kruger' -eren- biggest simp @rxrxyo
my goal is to have a friendship like annie and Eren. She most of the times swears to him, but is the first one to stand up for him. she banned A LOT OF PEOPLE in Erens livestream bc they say horrible shit
I'm not here bye @sistheteaishot
Eren is confident about he and his body and the same time he hate it... the biggest gen z of this world my good fellas...
*screams in anger issues* @mr.krugerburger
I'm streaming today, a lil surprise for u, bye 🏃♂️💨
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
this livestream it called 'half and a half'. people...
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
tHERE IS A CAMERAAAAAAAAAAA
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
OMFG SJDBIDJWJDJ HIS EYES
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
HES SO EMBARRASSED BC OF THE BITS FLIRTING AND CALL HIM PRETTY OMFG I DONT CARE THAT HE HAVE A MOUTH MASK AND ONLY SEE HIS WYES AND HAIR BSJDHW
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
he have scars in his left eyes, he ignores the questions about it. Please stop asking.
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
hE TAKE OUT HIS HOODIE TO SHOW HIS HAIR, ITS BROWN AND ITS IN A MESSY HAIR BUN DONT TOUCH ME...
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
hes showing his hand again and say
Eren: "does all my followers have a hand kink?" annie respond: "dont act like u don't have the weirdest kinks"
eren: stop kink shaming me annie
Annie: kink shaming is my kink
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
I'm in love with an emo with anger issues my honor
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
oK BUT EVERYTIME HE LAUGHS WE SEe HIS EYES GET LITTLE HES SO CUTE PLEASE
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
bits:"your room look chaotic"
eren: is for the aesthetic
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
tHAT A FUCKING GUITAR?????
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
SOME1 ASK ABT THE GUITAR AND HE SAYS YES HE PLAYA LOT OF INSTRUMENTSDONT TOUCHMEEEEE
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
help, hes playin come as you are,, hes a nirvana simp,,, I luv him
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
it was weird when he stand up to get the guitar he cut the camera so we dont see,,, but I'm just a lame mortal dont mine me
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
the chat noticed too,,,, ok stop hes OBVIOUSLY ignoring the question about it
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
annie voice coming from discord praising how the plays,,, we stan this friendship
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
MIKA MIKA, ARMIN, JEAN, CONNIE AND SASHA JOINS THE DISCORD CALL NOW THEY ALL TALKIN AND SHIT OMGGGG
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
Kruger is the only one that dosent shows his face JSKJD but we respect that
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
connie: I get why ppl ship me with sasha, but nope we are not a couple, we are like siblings
sasha: connie is the brother I never had
connie: awwww sasha lov u 2
jean: y'all have ZERO idea how noisy this 2 are
annie: Jean you're just bad like them
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
pieck joins the cALL NO ONE DARE TO SAY NOTHING THE QUEEN IS HEREEE
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
pieck: ohayoo gays, lesbians and no binary fellas
AMEN
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
Jean just call pieck "LOVE" WTF IS GOING OOOOOMNNN
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
eren: you are an idiot
jean: look at the mirror first them we talk
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
pieck: yes people, jean and I are a couple
jean: yeah, pieck love is mine fuck u
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
hISTORIA JOINS THE CALL OMGGGGG QUEEN
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
Historia: eren is the biggest soft of all us
eren: historia no...
Historia: the other day he was drunk and send an audio screaming "I lov u all you hav no idea how much"
jean: he dosent even say no homo
connie: nothing that Eren does is no homo
annie: yeah
eren: hate y'all
Daily news about Eren @Krugersnews
this is the best day ever
Chapter 2: Zeke have daddy issues and eren is drunk
Notes:
most of the time the gang speaks eachother in eldian,, in public they speak english
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
sasha eat me @imapotato
ok the streaming was chaotic but we are gonna recopilate the most important stuff
sasha eat me @imapotato
1) jEAN AND PIECK ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP
2) annie is that friend that even if you're gonna do biggest dumb stuff she will support u
3) EREN EYES, EREN HANDS, EREN HAIR, EREN
4) I love their friendship
5) lit eren says yes homo
legally blonde @annie_1
when u r the big spoon
mika mika @red.scarf
u r lit 30 cm tall
legally blonde @annie_1
stfu whore
big brain @armin.armout
why u bulling us mika
mika muka @red.scarf
u smol
big brain @armin.armout
I'm not
legally blonde @annie._1
armin u smol
big brain @armin.armout
n,,, no
legally blonde @annie._1
ye,,, I smol too
big brain @armin.armout
🥺 we smol together
bidibidi @bambam.56
I wonder if jean get jealous about zeke¿¿¿
the only horse about me is my d @jean.k
why should I?
bidibidi @bambam.56
@jean.k OMG NO WJHDJE I mean nothing bad, just most of boys get angry if anyone flirts with their gf,, just a question
the only horse about me is my d @jean.k
@bambam.56 don't worry. no, I don't get jealous about zeke and pieck, they are both really good friends. zeke just really appreciate her and she appreciated him too. I'm not a insecure toxic male, I love her toomuch
bidibidi @bambam.56
@jean.krtk omg u are so cute. we stand an not toxic man here
marley support @Marl.antieldians
pieck is the biggest whore, she's always flirting with zeke, porko and show her tits to the audience
bidibidi @bambam.56
NO? BECAUSE SHE IS FRIENDLY IT DOSEN'T MEAN SHE IS FLIRTING??? AND SHE DOSEN'T EVEN SHOW HER BREAST AND EVEN IF SHE, SHE CAN DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS?? STUPID ASS MARLEYAN SUPPORT
marley support @marl.antieldians
she's a whore that's why she had so many followers
black and yellow @diggorysimp
as a marleyan i declare that @marl.antieldians is not welcome to our community. we respect womans and eldians. report and block
pls take me out of marley @shineshien.doitsu
report and block
pieck's n1 simp @monkey.man
my s/o don't wanna eat my ass they said i had a lot of hair :(
demon eyes @mr.krugerburger
legally blonde @annie.ihatevery1
you just lost the little respect I had for you
ohayo uwu @pieck.waifuwu
@monkey.man come over, I'll shave you
pieck's n1 simp @Monkey.man
@pieck.waifuwu rlly??????
ohayo uwu @pieck.waifuwu
ofcourse uwu @monkey.man
the only horse in my is my d @jeanKrstn
pls don't, zeke, I beg you I dont wanna watch your nasty ass
pieck's n1 simp @monkey.man
excuse me? I have a perfect ass @jeanKrstn
fuck u marley @Yelena.babooshka
yeah, he does. Eren too. Perfect ass bros.
legally blonde @annie.ihatevery1
not gonna lie she had a point
Connie's twin @sasha.potato
MHMMM I'm hungryyyyy
sasha twin @connie.con
you are gonna shave your ass bc he tell you had a lot of hair? pathetic
pieck's n1 simp @monkey.man
@connie.con I need olders man's validation to live connie, stop attacking me
demon eyes @mr.krugerburger
yeah Nie' not cool
legally blonde @annie.ihatevery1
leave Zeke and his daddy issues alone connie
the only horse about me is my d @jean.krstn
u always ruin everything connie tf
sasha twin @connie.con
fuck y'all
yoongi I lov u @yoongiuwuu
find a friendship like Pieck & Zeke's where you shave each other's ass
treat ppl with kindness @hrrx.lxs
@yoongiuwuu U KNOW WHAT MEANS?? ZEKE A BOTTOM
yoongi I lov u @yoongiuwuu
@hrrx.lxs WAIT SIS U RIGt
yoongi I luv u @yoongiuwuu
bUT HE IS SO BIG HIS S/O MUST BE COLOSSAL
treat ppl with kindness @hrrx.lxs
CONNIE USE MALE PRONOUNS FOR ZEKE S/O
yoongi I lov u @yoongiuwuu
@hrrx.lxs nono sTOOOOOP AAAAAAAA
treat ppl with kindness @hrrx.lxs
AAAAAAAAAAAAAA
sasha's farts are the worst group chat
(they are talkin in eldian)
suicidal bitch: wanna a D in my mouth
potato: AJSHJAHSJD
potato: R u drunk?
suicidal bastard: mby
monkey: srlly????
monkey: u want me go home??
suicidal bastard: nah, dontworry I'm with mika
asian queen: eren, I'm not home. I went to Annie's house
suicidal bastard: rrlly dindt notis
suicidal bastard: wait
big man: he's gonna do smt stupid innit?
simp of black haired womans: is eren wetalkin abut'
legally blonde: prob smone will need to get him out of the police station again
SIGNORA IL LIMONE: last time was me figlio di puttana
no hair: stop talkin spaghetti we dont understand
potato: JQOSHISHSO SPAGHETTI SGUSHDJD
SIGNORA IL LIMONE: connie u ignorant slut
no hair: go cry somewhere else niconiconii
potato: kajsakjsajkjs
SIGNORA IL LIMONE: sasha u r my gf why u bully me
potato: lov u nicolo pls don´t stop feed me
suicidal bastard send an audio.
I'm not historia: oh no
I'm historia: eREN JSHSIHD
Suicidal bastard audio: ["sup' mika, sorry dindtt r...realize u left" you can hear nirvana playin in the back, making difficult to understand eren. "some one is in the... fuck...zu haus" he went out of his room and close the door behind "Oi, who's there?" silence was the respond. "probably I'm gettin crazy. But, oi! I reallllllyyyyy wanna suck dick" Eren stay silent for a couple of seconds. "REINER LET ME SUCK YOUR DIC-]
I'm historia: ma boi s horny reiner feed him
big man: no eren wtf
asian queen: why u fake u dont wanna fuck him
suicidal bastard: you're the worst friend reiner
big man: fuck u eren
suicidal bastard: do it urself coward
legally blonde: ye reiner stop bein a coward
big man: hate u all
waifu 💕: I hear smone is drunk n alone
simp of black haired woman: ye eren alone n drunk
suicidal bastard: snitch
suicidal bastard: dont worry pik imfine
waifu 💕: uhm
asian queen: eren r u allr??
legally blonde: pik go to eren's and kick hom so hard for making mika worry
waifu 💕: omw
I'm not historia: srrly eren
I'm historia: HSJDHSJDH poor ma boy
the only horse in my is my d @jeaankrist
me: eren go to sleep
eren: no fuck off
pieck: eren, can u go to sleep please?
eren:
legally blonde @annie.ihateevery1
eren biggest weakness is the womans in his life
I'm historia @Reiss.Historia
it's the mommy issues for me
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
since jean shithead and pik come over and dosen't let me drink more,,, let's make a q&a
womans💕 @gaymood
what's your height?
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
@gaymood like 1.83
the who??? @hackerman
@mr.krugerburger how many instruments can u play?
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
@hackerman guittar, bass, drums (my fav) and a lil of piano
ñyaa onishan @frozne.xxs.
@me.krugerburger what about u @ and name??
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
@frozne.xxs. my @ bc it rhymes and the name bc ppl say i have demon eyes, with the whole heterocromia and shit
where is my mind xd @srlyidkwhereis
how u feel about you succes in twitch and youtube?
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
fuckin amazin but spooky at the same time
do i wanna know? no @mmc.ssdf
whos taller u or u bro?
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
i think zek is like 1 cm taller
severus deserved better @slthrn.qxxn
who is more scary, annie or mikasa?
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
both of them can beat my ass and i will thank them
why u only call me when u cRY@always.stxner
any pets?
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
zeke
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
gotta go jean is drinkin my sHIT
the only horse in my is my d @jeaankrstn
anyone who insult my bABE is gonna out of here.
dëmön @mr.krugerburger
@jeaankrstn who say what to who?
the only horse in my is my d @jeaankrstn
mistakes have been made
Notes:
i don´t know what im doin with my life xd
Chapter 3: levi says peepee
Notes:
i,,, i forgot to update???¿¿¿
im sorry, i was in a big depression moment but im back bitches
Chapter Text
suicidal bastard changes group chat name to: fuck u jean
suicidal bastard change the name to one (1) leg
one (1) leg changes asian queen to Mika💕
one (1) leg changes legally blonde to karate queen
one (1) leg changes monkey to hair in the ass
one (1) leg changes simp of black haired women to horseshit
one (1) leg changes I'm not historia to smol
one (1) leg changes no hair to n1 dumbass
one (1) leg changes I'm historia to queen👑
one (1) leg changes big man to reiner🍆😳
reiner🍆😳: EREN
horseshit: fuck u 2 eren
one (1) leg: .l.
queen👑: aw, the love
horseshit: 🤮🤮🤮
karate queen: whore I don't do karate
one (1) leg: is the same shit
karate queen: it is not
smol: it's almost funny that eren simp over reiner peepee but at the same time he is Historia biggest simp
potato: dID U JUST SAY PEEPEE
n1 dumbass:
mika💕: the midget say that one time
potato: BSJDHJSD O MYFUCKING YMIR HSJHDJD
hair in the ass: wait I had it on my phone
waifu💕: rlly did he say it?
potato: yesss it was the funniest shit ever JAKHDJD
smol: that's why we use peepee
smol: is funny
n1 dumbass: P E E P E E
potato: nono don't touch me there this is my peepee square
n1 dumbass: PEEPEE SQUARE JDJDBDUHD
one (1) leg: HFKAKHDKD
hair in the ass send a video
hair in the ass: find it
[hair in the ass video.
"Levi, what did u say?"
"peepee" Zeke laughed" what is funny about it monkey?"
"peepee in English is penis, love"
"you're disgusting"
" can I suck your peepee?"
"shut u—"]
waifu💕: why did he say that???
hair in the ass: it's an underground slang in paradise, people used there the most
waifu💕: underground???
waifu💕: oh wait now I remember
waifu💕: gonna bullyin him gotta go
potato: why he isn't here again?
mika💕: he get out every time
one (1) leg: fuckin old man
n1 dumbass: can't believe they still a couple
one (1) leg: lol same
queen👑: EREN WJDBJSH
one (1) leg: strangely they are perfect for each other, like, zeke knows that Levi had a strong personality and since he had to take care of me inmy worst moment, he have a patience of a saint
mika💕: yes, zeke knows us too much, he knows what to do and always says the right thing. That midget, even if he never admitted, loves that part of zeke.
potato: isn't the midget,,, your cousin?
mika💕: and what about it
horseshit: dont let them trick u sasha, levi and Mikasa care for each other
potato: aww💕
queen👑: aww💕
hair in the ass: pIECK WHY U TOLD LEVI I SENT THE VIDEO WTFFF
horseshit: rip
reiner🍆😳: it was nice to meet u
one (1) leg: so, we are gonna be just me and Mikasa in the family
n1 dumbass:
queen👑: f
hair in the ass: HELP
one (1) leg: he came running to my room akhsjajd poor zek
mika💕: I'm gonna get the popcorn
annie best womän @biglesbianpanic
peepee?
[a fragment of today stream from Annie's perspective.
"oi annie" calls connie.
"what" she respond while giving the pigs food.
"jean touch my... peepee" connie appears walking to her side and whispered.
"OI, NO I DIDN'T" jean respond running to them. Eren laughed and try to not interrupt them while he followed sasha from behind.
"JEAN DID U TOUCH CONNIE" sasha comes runnin and she ducked in front of him and whispered "...peepee"
"no I didn't sasha, he's a fuckin liar"
"I was with them, jean didn't touch connie's" mikasa comes from the corner of a house, she keeps quiet until she was close enough and whispered"...peepee. He fall in him and touch him but was an accident"
"still, he touched my... peepee" connie reply
annie and kruger couldn't take it seriously and broke up the intense silence laughing. Historia joined almost immediately when she arrived to the drama.
"oi jean" connie call him, jean minecraft character turn to face him."no no don't touch me there, this is my peepee square" his character duck and stand up with rhyme.
All start laughing again.
"peepee square" sasha says over the tears and wheezing.]
annie best woman @biglesbianpanic
I'm confused but is so fuckin funnyyyyyy
annie best woman @biglesbianpanic
okso annie explain that in the island there's a slang that sounds pretty much like peepee, and they're friends with someone who use the slang a lot and it's funny JGJGHFYFH
jean slap me pls @jeansimper
HSJDHIE FHEY ARE SO FUCKIN FUNNY I LOVE THEM
ajereje @ketchup.lover
I wanna know who is their's friend JAJHDJSHE the way they still messin around with a low voice and "serious", I wanna know
annie best woman @biglesbianpanic
@ketchup.lovee bitch me too
CNN ✓@CNNofficial
Protagonist of “the survey corps” from netflix, Levi Ackerman, was involve in a verbal and physical fight today. “I dare you to say that in my face, shitface”. Witness says that he was defending his friend and co-star Hange Zoe from transphobic and physical attack from 40-year-old man knowns as a strong pro-Marley activist... [link]
Stan Levi @rivaille.captain.stan
“I’m going to make u remember they pronoun’ hitting your stupid ugly face” I stan a man who defend his friend and their pronouns’
h-hayloft?? @gayagenda
Levi is like 1.50 cm tall and he scare that mf who was like 1.80
Get me bleach @needadrink
Love how he does not even raise his voice and was scary as fuck, shithead start and levi defend himself, like only make him fall with 1 movement, what a king
Levi ✓ @Ackerman.Levi
And I will do it again.
im 4 eyes ✓ @Zoe.Hange
Aww I love u too Levi <3
Stan Zoe @big.sad.eyes
God haven’t left this time line
..
Bae
You: how’s hange?
Bae: they r fine
You: great, and you?
Bae: fucking tired of this fucking people, wanna go home
You: I miss u too :(
You: r u gonna spent Eldian Requiem with us or your uncle?
Bae: fuck Kenny im goin w u
You: can invite him tho. Is mikasa’s uncle too
Bae: hes goin to Uri’s
You: ah his bf?
Bae: ye
Bae: u ok?
You: mhm yes ? why u ask?
Bae: yesterday you said that you take the first train back home bc couldt stay with your ma anymore, u ok?
You: ye, just like always I cannot stand her more than 3 days
Bae: what she said now?
You: like always ya know
You: she starts to make this whole scene trying to make me guilty bc I left her and stay with dad, even if that was YEARS ago, does not stop criticizing dad and oi! I get it, he was not a rlly good dad in my childhood before he was sent to the island
You: well, ya know, says I’m a bad son, that I should have get married already and have children’s, try to meet this single girl so I can broke up w u and stuff
You: but the worst was when she starts to talk about the accident, when Carla dies and eren loose his leg
You: she does not understand that I was there, she doesn’t get that I watch Carla dying protecting Eren and I couldn’t help her back. Just, I’m stressed bc I can’t stand her, but I love her, you know she’s my mom and I love her so much
You: idk why I tried it, idk why I make efforts to keep our relationship stable, she does not care. Why she can’t just love me back, levi
Bae: im gonna back now
You: u still have like 2 weeks of prom of the second season
Bae: I don’t give a shit, im takin the first plane
Bae: I get why u sad, but remember that if she doesn’t respect you bc u gay or bc u live with the lil brat, then she’s losing it. She was bad parent as Grisha, but ur dad try to change, ur ma don’t
Bae: go to eren room and watch some of that silly show’ u like
You: thanks u
Bae: sure
Bae: love u too
Bae: now move ur haired ass or I’ll call Mikasa
You: goin
Chapter 4: REINEEEER
Notes:
snk canon end? we don't know her
Chapter Text
Historia creates a group chat
Historia names the greup chat paris
Histroia changes the name to ur queen
Ur queen add ’ big man
Ur queen: we talk now
Big man: talk about?
Ur queen: Reiner, I swear in name of ymir, just admits u like eren
Big man: HISTORIA WHAT U TALKN ABOUT
Ur queen: OKEY BITCH U GONNA LISTEN /READ ME, me and eren are a couple, yes but we bot likes u, we are inviting u, actually me bc eren didn’t want to make u uncomfortable
Ur queen: so, bitch, ur are welcome to our relationship or u can fuck eren, or nothing
Big man: i-
Big man: I didn’t want to put me between u 2
Ur queen: eren likes u, a lot and I like u too, if u don’t wanna fuck me, cool, but please im TIRED OF BEING HERE BETWEEN U 2
Ur queen: just FUCK HIM ALREADY
Big man: u scare me historia
Ur queen: as I should
Ur queen: so???
Big man: can we, do it with patience? Just, u know, with what happen with bert and all
Ur queen: is no problem reiner
Ur queen: gonna add eren
Big man: Wait waitwaitWHATSHOULD I TELL HIMM
One (1) leg joins the chat
One (1) leg: sup
Big man: hi
Ur queen: reiner says yes but slow bc bert and the whole trauma, u know, drama and shit
One (1) leg: u talk to him about thAT
Ur queen: yes
One (1) leg: oh
One (1) leg: so,,,, u good reiner?
Big man: yea
Big man: I mean, im scared but I wanna
Big man: this is weird
Ur queen: don’t worry, we love u
One (1) leg: the safe word is “pineapple”
Big man: pineapple?
One (1) leg: yes
One (1) leg: now
One (1) leg: reeeeeeinnnneeeeeeeeer
Big man: oh ymir
Big man: I think im gonna regret it
Ur queen: nah
Ur queen: mby ur butt
Big man: shit
sirius f me pls @isimpadog
I- I CAN´T
[EREN' LIVESTREAM
eren: *make a good move and kills three people*
connie: bro, eren u are mazing
eren: thanks, but please don't i have a praise kink
reiner: *in a low and calm voice* y o u ' r e s u c h g o o d b o y, e r e n
eren: *stand up abrutly and get out of the room, he screams in the distance*
jean: i think you break him
sasha: he said praise kink or a piss kink?
everyone loosing their shit
Armin: WHAT THE FUCK SASHA
Annie: eren have a piss kin, so it does armin
Armin: noooooOOOOOO-]
can i get a oH YEAHH @velvet.kiskiskiss
eren' fyp in tiktok is:
pisstok, kinktok, altok
sorry, i make the rules
cryin 4 gaara @no_eybrowsinthishouse
this btch had a maid costume, he cant lie us
grammys suck my d @cat.yoongi.balls
y'all to the horny jell
ur queen @reiss.historia
my boyfriend' are so dumb that it hurts, but still love them
ur queen @reiss.historia
that rigth everyone, im dating 2 boys
mika mika @red.scarf
@reiss.historia get well soon
ur queen @reiss.historia
@red.scarf i miss being a lesbian,, now im the voice of the reason in this relationship
legally blonde @annie_1
@reiss.historia
ur queen @reiss.historia
brown hair long emo simp @eren.simp_1
IM SOOO TIRED THIS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN
pieck bitch's @pieck.punchme
@eren.simp_1 wha happen biiiichhhh
brown hair long emo simp @eren.simp_1
@pieck.punchme eren,, he
pieck's bitch @pieck.punchme
@eren.simp_1 spill the tea whore
brown hair long emo simp @eren.simp_1
[annie's livestream.
"... there are people asking for a story with eren" annie laughs. "i mean, i have more that i would like to admit. He is a magnet for the most bizarre and craziest shit"
"do you remember that one time we had to put him out of the police station?" annie start to laugh hard and nods. Piecks joined the call some minutes ago, and start talkin about ramdom stuff that happen to them. " well, actually eren have ended in the police station too much, he's so conflictive sometimes"
"my favorite, is the one when we went to this place and drink. I was a lil drunk..." pieck's laughs". well actually a lot, but i remember what happen. So, i was drunk, mikasa was in the bathroom with historia, armin in the dancefloor with connie, jean and sasha. Pieck was with me, but she was more sleep in me that nothing." both laughs". So, this weird dude come to usand start make some random questions, i was with the red dress that is too tigh and it was showing my almost my whole legs. Not that is my fault what happend, but that stupid piece of shit, just like the man kind he is, thougth that i was askin for somthing. Well, the thing is, another dudes comes to us, piecks wake up but was too drunk like me, and i was like -dude, just leave we don´t wan nothing from you. But he didn't listen, so i start to panic and puch him away. And eren apears, it was like miracle because he was drunk in the bathroom floor for what i was told, and just take me and pieck and put us behind him. He's tall, not like jean but tall. In one second, Reiner appears, jean, connie, niccolo, and eren start to thretin this mas..."
"long story short, eren knockin out almost everyone, the guys helps, mikasa aswell and historia was recording. I was laughing so as annie. He ended in the police station and the police in turn shut look at him and says -you, again?" both start laughs" i swears in ymir, eren always had bad luck because was the only one who was capture. Ah, you see, it was a ilegal party so when the police arrive for we had to run but eren was too much busy with the man who touch annies legs. Well, we had to make the money between the 7 of us"]
pieck's bitch @pieck.punchme
I,,, I simp
....
Chapter 5: mommy milkers
Chapter Text
demon @mr.krugerburger
Reiner's mommy milkers
depressed tits @reiner.Brn
eren don't
demon @mr.krugerburger
I'M HUNGRY MOMMY 🥺
depressed tits @reiner.Brn
EREN STOP
ur queen @Reiss.Historia
what's your secret @reiner.Brn? I want mommy milkers too :(
depressed tits @reiner.Brn
I hate it here
demon @mr.krugerburger
at first I was mhmmm big mommy milkers tits as a joke... but bro, I dont think is a joke anymore
mika mika @red.scarf
🙎🏿♂️🕶👌🏿uhm?
the only horse in my is my d @jeaankrist
not gonna lie, reiner do have big tts
gabigabi @lil.braun
it's the dna
depressed tits @reiner.Brn
GABI GET OUT OF HERE!
a bird @falcocawcaw
thanks gabi, I'm gonna blech my eyes :)
ohayo uwu @pieck.waifuwu
ask your brother falco uwu
a bird @falcocawcaw
bye, you are blocked
demon @mr.krugerburger
did she lie?
a bird @falcocawcaw
@mr.krugerburger
gabigabi @lil.braun
when I grow up I'm gonna have big mommy milkers!
a bird @falcocawcaw
that's it, I dont have a best friend anymore. take me back to liberio. under the collapsing building with Sofia.
gabigabi @lil.braun
she's dead? oh no! *minecraft levels sound*
ur queen @Reiss.Historia
ok, so I'm gonna be clear with the rumors. @@mr.krugerburger and @reiner.bigman are my boyfriends. yes, is a poly relationship. now stop with the toxic shit.
legally blonde @annie._1
who's the bottom?
mika mika @red.scarf
@annie._1 annie don't ask that. we all know is eren
demon @mr.krugerburger
@red.scarf EXCUSE ME?
ohayo uwu @pieck.waifuwu
@red.scarf of all the languages you speak, you chose the truth.
the only horse in my is my d @jeaankrist
HAHAAA BOTTOM @@mr.krugerburger
connie's twin @queen_potato
that's on the humiliation kink
legally blonde @annie._1
SIS- I
demon @mr.krugerburger
I do not have a humiliation kink, thank you very much.
depressed tits @reiner.bigman
are you sure about that? @mrkrugerburger
demon @mr.krugerburger
yes! :( stop humiliating me or I'm gonna cry, first warning.
ur queen @Reiss.Historia
uh oh
gabigabi @@lil.braun
EVERYONE RUN
sasha's twin @Connie.Sptr
WHAT WHY?
a bird @falcocawcaw
this is gonna be fun
mika mika @red.scarf
👩🦯 ain't see shit
pieck's n1 simp @monkey.man
@reiner.bigman @Historia.reiss I heard that you make my brother cry :)
gabigabi @lil.braun
RIP COUSIN REINER, I WILL MISS YOUR TITIES
ErehSimp (Guest) on Chapter 1 Sat 13 Feb 2021 05:27PM UTC
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Platinum07 on Chapter 3 Sun 11 Apr 2021 02:49PM UTC
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Platinum07 on Chapter 5 Sat 03 Jul 2021 11:14PM UTC
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