Jailhouse Rock

by Aiura-stan (UnwieldyNescience)

Summary:

Toritsuka makes a big mistake, and Saiki finally takes action.

Chapter 1

Kusuo teleported into Toritsuka’s room. The time read 12:00 AM, and the area was completely quiet, save the babbling of the water fountain just outside his room. Saiki turned on the lights with psychokinesis, and then gave Toritsuka a good hard kick to the stomach.

Toritsuka gasped loudly and rolled over in bed, clutching his stomach. He looked up at his assailant, eyes watering.

good morning, Saiki broadcast directly into his mind. He looked down at Toritsuka with a mixture of pity and revulsion as he took hold of the back of his shirt collar, hoisting him by his Pajamas and dangling him at an arm’s length.

“Whoa, Saiki!” Toritsuka exclaimed, legs swinging idly. “Where’d you come from?!”

Hell, where else.

At first, Saiki heard a torrential stream of bullshit via telepathy as Toritsuka desperately tried to think of a way to escape. Then, he seemed to remember something and went limp, and his torrent of thoughts slowed to a trickle.

Toritsuka seemed resigned to his fate. He didn’t struggle more than was necessary, to Saiki’s surprise. I wish I could kick his ass, flashed through Toritsuka’s mind, but was quickly pushed away. Instead, he craned his neck and looked up at Saiki with wide, pleading eyes.

Nope. We had a deal. Now suck it up and be a decent person for once. And with that, Saiki teleported away.

Kanto Central Police Station, read the sign outside. Saiki carried a limp Toritsuka like a sack of potatoes up to the front walkway. The sound of birds twittering in the distance could be heard in the intermittent silence.

“Oh, Come on man,” Toritsuka attempted feebly. “It wasn’t technically my fault!!! Besides, it wasn’t even that bad! It’s not like I touched her-”

Shut up. They have video evidence of you publicly sexually assaulting that woman, you absolute trash sack. They’d come for you regardless. I’m not going to cover for you. You need to learn this lesson once and for all, the hard way. He let go and gave Toritsuka a hard shove.

Go, Turn yourself in, and I won’t interfere and make your life even more miserable than it’s about to become.

Toritsuka winced and gave Saiki one last wistful look before turning to enter the facility. Saiki watched him using clairvoyance, all the way until he was safely locked in a holding cell.

Well, that was one less problem for Saiki to deal with for now, Saiki thought to himself. Toritsuka was a nuisance at best, but guilt gnawed at his stomach regardless. It’s for his own good, and for the good of the rest of society. I’d be a worse person if I didn’t turn him in. It still sounded contrived, even in his mind.

Oh well. Neither he nor the world would miss this worthless, lecherous dumpster fire of a temple boy, if he was somehow convicted to serve. He had one job, and he seemed to have gone out of his way to fail as badly as humanly possible. If he was locked away, then he would never be given the opportunity to abuse his powers again. Toritsuka was simply paying the price for his many sins, at long last. Saiki let out a sigh of relief.

No longer my problem, and not my fault.

Notes:

who should I have Saiki put in jail next

i'm thinking Makoto, i'm open to suggestions tho

Chapter 2

Summary:

You asked for it, here it is. Sorry I’m so late with this.

Teruhashi Kokomi was having a perfectly serviceable morning, thank you very much for asking.

 

She had just finished putting away her laundry for the day and tidied her room. She’d woken up a bit earlier than normal and decided to utilize the extra time to her advantage! That’s undeniably the perfect thing to do.

 

Now it was time to get ready for school! She had class with Saiki after all; she’d need to look and feel her best, as ever.

 

Kokomi looked into the mirror and put on her best smile. There were visible bags under her eyes. Distressed, she splashed water over her face, patted it dry, and took another look. The dark circles seemed to have been enhanced by the water. Kokomi growled in frustration and went rifling through her brother’s cabinet to find some concealer.

 

Thankfully, they both wore the same exact shade, since Teruhashi almost never wore makeup (a perfect pretty girl didn’t need to enhance her natural beauty; all she needed was to take care of herself and it would just naturally shine through!) and she wasn’t prepared to deal with the inevitable result of several sleepless nights in a row.

 

She smeared it on thick under her eyes, patted it carefully with a sponge, and then replaced his things.

 

She put on another smile and gave herself a wink in the mirror. It’d be fine.

 

-

 

Saiki had a premonition last night. He’d never had such a strong feeling of foreboding before, and it caught him my surprise. He had nearly teleported his entire house to Indonesia, but managed to catch himself in time and only teleport his own body.

 

What he had seen disturbed and confused him. It was only a split second, but it was Teruhashi’s face, utterly distraught, the glint of metal, and then darkness.

 

It was probably time to ask his psychic companion for advice.

 

Aiura. Saiki sent out a jolt to the Gyaru to wake her up, if by chance she was still sleeping.

 

Eh, Saiki? What is it? she answered via thought almost immediately.

 

Meet me after class today. I have something we need to discuss.

 

Oh!! Saiki I thought you’d never ask!!! YES I will go out with you!!!!

 

Not that.

 

Aw, alright. At least bring me something sweet to eat as a consolation if you’re just going to get my hopes up like that, aiura whined.

 

No way.

 

Wugh, whatever. Do I need to bring my crystal ball?

 

If you would.

 

Okay.

 

Saiki figured it would be a simple case of kidnapping, but the foreboding usually signaled something more troublesome. It couldn’t hurt to get confirmation ahead of time.

 

-

 

“Saiki!”

 

Aiura waved at him.

 

“Let’s go, hurry it up! I have the latest episode of Bachelor Woman Supreme to catch after this!”

 

Saiki, looking annoyed, glanced around to be sure that no one was watching them, and then teleported them into an empty student meeting room.

 

“Okay. Shoot.”

 

I need you to pinpoint Teruhashi’s location a three hours from now.

 

Judging from the light level and the shadows cast on her face in the premonition, that should be about right.

 

“Oh, uh, okay. Give me a second.”

 

Aiura got up, stretched herself into a dancer’s pose, did some waist pivots, and then sat back down.

 

“Hmm, yeah okay I see her. She’s just sitting at home in her room. She looks like, super tired. Her room is so clean... she must be some kind of neat freak... oh my god, wait Saiki, LOOK!”

 

Saiki jumped slightly.

 

What is it.

 

“She’s reading the latest volume of Love Crash Attack ! Look, right there on her desk! I totally didn’t think she’d be into that sort of thing-“ Aiura covered her mouth to supress a giggle of incredulity.

 

-AIURA.

 

“Sorry! Uh yeah this is super boring though. I just feel like I’m spying on herrrr- uh wait hold on.” Aiura’s expression shifted to one of focus.

 

“There’s someone coming to her room. Shitty movie star- kun, the guy everyone raves about. That’s her brother right? They’re just talking. Wait... what is he doing?” Aiura clapped a hand over her mouth. “What the fuck?!”

 

Spit it out.

 

“The dude just proposed! To his SISTER?! Like, ew?!” She grimaced. “Like who is this perv, seriously Saiki. Can’t you take him out or something?”

 

Saiki was already gone.

 

-

 

Teruhashi got home earlier than usual, as she had walked home alone for the first time in her life that day. She tossed her book bag carelessly onto the nearest chair.

 

She shoved her excessive pillows off of her bed and flopped face-first onto it.

 

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.

 

Today had not been her day.

 

First of all, the substitute professor hadn’t smiled at her or looked at her with unbridled adoration in his eyes. Did he even have eyes at all?! Seriously, he was acting just like Saiki or something.

 

Secondly, everyone had just avoided her all day for some reason. Was she really that ugly when she was tired? She knew that obscuring her natural beauty with makeup would naturally reduce her charm a little bit, but this was ridiculous. It was almost like people didn’t see her at all...

 

 

Kokomi huffed into her pillow in frustration. What was wrong with the world today. Not only was her charm not working, but she had completely lost sight of Saiki after first period and had spent the entire day surreptitiously looking for him, with no results to show for it. Seriously, where did that kid go?!

 

She sunk her face into the covers. Mmm, the bed was nice and soft. Kokomi fell asleep face-down on her bed.

 

When she woke up, it was already dark outside.

 

Oh crap! She hadn’t finished her homework yet and Makoto would be home any minute!

 

She pushed herself out of bed roughly and forced herself to sit down, take out her books, and start working.

 

Just then, she heard a knock at the door.

 

Kokomi froze. She heard the handle jiggle and someone press against it.

 

“Kokomi! It’s your brother, let me in!”

 

Ah. So she had locked the door. Lucky.

 

“I’m busy Makoto! Leave me alone,” she called.

 

It was true.

 

“I have a surprise for you though!”

 

“You can surprise me later,” she said, near her wit’s end. “Your manager called me and says he wants you at work right now.”

 

“Ah shoot, really?” It sounded like he would leave for a minute, but then he was back to jiggling the handle.

 

“Well, just let me in for a second! This is more important Teruhashi. It’s about both of our lives in the future!”

 

“Don’t care.”

 

Kokomi jumped as a loud CRACK resounded in her room. Makoto had broken down the door.

 

“Kokomi!!” he paused to take in her appearance. “You look like an absolute angel today,” he added in a sickening tone.

 

“Ugh, what the FUCK Makoto! Get out!”

 

Makoto raised both eyebrows at the explicative. “Whoa, that isn’t very nice of you,” he said, a little taken aback.

 

“I don’t care what you think!!! Can’t you just leave me alone for once in my life when I ask?!”

 

“Oh, Kokomi, what’s wrong ,” he asked, moving to wrap his arms around her. “It will be alright! I’ll save you!”

 

You’re the problem! She wanted so desperately to shout, but it wouldn’t do any good. Her brother was as delusional as he thought he was kind. She shoved him away.

 

Undeterred, he smiled at her and took her hand.

 

“Kokomi- I have just the thing to cheer you up.”

 

His eyes glinted eagerly as he reached into his pocket. Carefully, he lowered himself down onto one knee and revealed a little gray box.

 

Makoto heard something flip closed. Huh? Somehow the lid had closed itself before it ever fully opened. There was a flash of metal, replaced with something tan. He opened the box again.

 

Inside of the box, the diamond ring he had bought her had been replaced with a fortune cookie?!

 

“Oh,” said Kokomi flatly, clearly taken aback. “What’s this for,” she added, clearly disinterested.

 

“I- uh- I- I just-“

 

Kokomi plucked the fortune cookie from the box and cracked it open. Inside, the fortune read:

 

I am about to go to jail.

 

Kokomi frowned in confusion, utterly stupified by this turn of events.

 

“...I don’t understand.”

 

Just then, Makoto staggered backwards, as though hit by an invisible force. Then, he disappeared completely.

 

-

 

Saiki teleported Makoto to the local police station, holding onto the scruff of his shirt with one hand and a cellphone in the other.

 

“Wh- SAIKI! HOW DID YOU-“

 

You’re going to jail. A friend walked in on you harassing your sister and caught the whole thing on video. You have the right to remain silent.

 

“SAIKI KUSUO, I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!”

 

-Not that I thought you’d ever use it. You’re still being recorded by the way. Keep digging; maybe they’ll keep you here for life if I’m lucky.

 

Makoto let out an incoherent stream of curses and angry ramblings, which eventually petered out as he realized what Saiki had just said to him.

 

After explaining the situation to the authorities and handing over the evidence, Saiki teleported back to the Teruhashi residence.

 

There was one more thing he had to take care of.

 

-

 

All of the sudden, Teruhashi found herself face-to-face with Saiki Kusuo. She was too shocked to be self-conscious.

 

“AGH!”

 

She yelled in confusion, but before she could get much sound out, she was standing on a sandy beach somewhere far away.

 

Sorry about this. I didn’t mean to startle you.

 

Kokomi thought she would pass out. What was happening? Was Saiki really here??! Where was she for that matter, all of the sudden??!

 

Just think of this as an unpleasant dream for now .

 

Saiki reached forward and touched her forehead, and she slumped forwards onto him. He scooped her up gingerly in both arms.

 

Your brother won’t bother you anymore , he broadcast directly into her mind as she slept.

 

I’m sorry I didn’t do this sooner.

 

Saiki teleported both of them back to her room, setting her down gently on the bed and covering her with a blanket.

 

He brushed a strand of hair out of her eyes with one hand.

 

Then, he teleported back home.

 

...It felt nice to serve justice and do something truly nice for someone else, he decided.

 

Maybe rethinking his position on becoming a vigilante wasn’t such a bad thing to do.

-

Notes:

...The more I reread this the less I like it; I might rework it at some point in the near future. Originally i had something different planned but I scrapped it and just one-shotted this chapter. It needs editing, (apologies), which I will provide in the next few days.

The show left me very disappointed in Saiki for his lax attitude towards creeps.
I guess you can’t really blame him; he’s just a kid, and Makoto hadn’t really done anything illegal yet to my knowledge. Anyways. This was cathartic to write. I tried not to make this too gross to read but sorry for the Makoto creepiness.

So, originally I was going to do Kuusuke next, but I'm currently working on a separate series for him.
Because even though he probably deserves to go to jail, he's so interesting that I can't help but want to write more about him.

Also I don't know if I can write a story about him yet that feels "canon" if that makes sense? I don't fully understand his character/have a solid theory on who he is yet, which is why I'm writing the other series.
Though if I had to pick a crime that Kusuo could pin on his brother... I'd say money laundering.

Chapter 3

Summary:

Kuusuke gets sent to prison.

Notes:

Just something short. I missed writing them. Sorry about the mile long author’s note at the end. it’s not directly related to the fic so feel free to skip it unless you’re curious.

The guard opened the door to the visitation room.

“You have a maximum of thirty minutes. No photography or recording devices are permitted. There will be no gifts to or from the prisoner, and do not attempt to speak in code. After the visit’s completion the prisoner will be returned to the holding cell, and your cell phone will be returned.”

Kusuo nodded. I understand. Please allow me just five minutes with this prisoner.

The guard turned and closed the door behind him. He rounded on Kuusuke, who was seated at an unfurnished table, both hands visibly clasped together in front of him. Kusuo approached, but didn’t bother to draw out a chair, instead stopping a few feet from the table. He crossed his arms.

So? What do you have to say for yourself? I want to know why you did it.

“Ahh… I never thought it would end this badly.”

You thought everything would be fine even though you destabilized a nuclear reactor in an attempt to create a machine that erases alternate dimensions? What were you thinking?

“Must have overshot my estimates, haha.”

Good grief.

“Well, don’t worry about me!”

Who said I was worried?

“-my associates will be here in an hour to let me out on bail.” His  eye glinted, full of smugness.

They would let out such a dangerous criminal on bail?

“Don’t be silly, Kusuo. I’m one of the government’s most important informants. They can’t keep me in here.”

They can’t, but I certainly can.

“Don’t you want to at least take some time to consider? I mean, there’s a lot of business matters I have stakes in that are integral to Japan’s economy. You haven’t considered that my negotiations bring together mega corporations in agreement and safeguard prices. And I have a team of spies from mainland China who are interested in protecting me because of Psi Industries’ business agreements.”

Sounds like you’re nervous.

“I have a lot of connections I could contact. I don’t think you’d be prepared if I decided to make it a competition.” 

A competition, huh? I’ve got a good idea. It’s called, call up the government and England’s UN representative and tell them full details of exactly what you’ve done so they keep you in here for society’s own good. You’re in no bargaining position.

“There’s really no reason to do that, since you can just reverse the damage.”

I only managed damage control on the people, not the area of land and property you obliterated in Higashimatsuura. Taking out 20km of land isn’t something I can reverse without time travel.

“But you’ll do it, right…? Surely all those people deserve a home…”

They have a home. I transported them to an unnamed and unclaimed island in the Pacific until I finish irradiating all the land you just terraformed. And besides that, I don’t want to mess with time travel, in case I cause a disaster and can’t return, like almost happened last time.

“But you got back, thanks to me!”

More like, thanks to coincidence that you made a perfectly crappy time machine. I’ve contained the radiation from the explosion. My clones are helping with the disposal. I have no need for bailing you out, so just accept the consequences.

Kusuo turned towards the door.

That’s really all I wanted to tell you. I just hoped that you could come up with some better excuse than a ‘whoops.’ It wasn’t to give you a choice or anything. You’re staying here.

Kuusuke stood up quickly. There was the sound of a warning beep as he did.

“Hey! Come on, Kusuo!! Don’t leave me; what use am I to humanity locked in here?”

Kusuo sighed.  Haven’t you ever heard of a prison informant? Nothing’s stopping them from getting your advice in here.

“But you need me- humanity needs me to be able to work without an obstacle!”

You are an obstacle yourself. Just behave, and maybe I’ll consider letting you out after a few years.

“Wait- Kusuo- Just give me half a minute— I have an idea- Just let me say one last thing-“

Kusuo closed the door. He thanked the guard, who handed him his cellphone, and turned away, tucking it into his back pocket.  Not a second later, it buzzed loudly. Kusuo withdrew it.

Nuisance: Take care of Mama and Papa for me, won’t you?

Kusuo turned and looked through the window. Kuusuke blinked at him. Or maybe winked. It was impossible to tell. Kusuo shook his head at him and turned away. He entered the text onehanded as he rounded the corner, without bothering to look at the screen.

Sent: Of course

Sent: and ditch the phone

Nuisance: <3

A few seconds later, Kuusuke found himself holding a rather old and ornamented book in place of his cellphone. Inside was a note that read,

Don’t get bored.

-Kusuo

Notes:

What was I going to write here? Right. I finally wrote this after three years. I felt it was the right time to write it. I finally figured out something that was tripping me up about PSIowdown.

After years of being confused by the meaning of the panel where Kusuke admits the reason why he disabled the device that would broadcast kusuo’s powers globally, I finally get it.
It has nothing to do with
Kuusuke being selfish/weird; it’s actually the opposite. He’s trying to tell Kusuo that his actual motives for making the right device were selfless (to benefit humanity) and be honest with him about the fact that he personally doesn’t want it to happen, but he thought it was best.
For whatever reason the original Japanese there seems to be pretty different than the English translation.

I’m not sure if I am translating it exactly right (probably not…) but Kuusuke’s wording makes the statement way more ambiguous in Japanese. There’s no emphasis on the word “strangers”; as a matter of fact, from what I can tell, what he says is just “people” or “those people.”
He doesn’t say “I” at all; it’s what would be considered passive tense in English. There’s no possessive “my” little brother either; it’s implied. So it comes across as a lot less controlling (it’s not about Kuusuke, instead it is about Kusuo.) And I still can’t quite figure out what he meant in the second half of the speech bubble (two conjugations of the same verb in succession) but i think he’s making the distinction between what he doesn’t want to happen (kusuo to be sacrificed) and what he feels is unavoidable (kusuo being sacrificed.) which is basically exactly what Kusuo said a few panels earlier; that it was unavoidable. And Kuusuke also said the previous panel that he still thought it would be best for humanity if his powers were globally known. So the conclusion here is that the original Japanese seems to make a lot more sense.
There’s a lot of instances in the manga where I was just confused by what was written because it doesn’t quite make sense in English. So I plan on revisiting the most bothersome ones when I can.

Sorry for rambling for too long in this author’s note. I’ve decided to keep it in because it feels important somehow. I don’t know. If anyone reading this is proficient in Japanese, feel free to chime in and correct me.

for reference, he says:
そんな者達の為に何で…
(sonna mono tachi no tame ni nani de…)
かわいい弟が犠牲にならなきゃならないんだってね
(kawaii ototo ga gisei ni naranakya naranai ndatte ne)

 

Anyways. Thanks for reading.