Chapter 1: Prologue
Summary:
Louis settles in.
Chapter Text
Dr. Louis William Tomlinson is a good general surgeon. It isn't a dream, it wasn't hope, it's just straight fact. He's good . One of the best in the country. People fly from all over to see him, to operate with him, to study under him. But he's missing something. It's cliche to the max, but no matter how hard he tries, no matter how many risky surgeries he pulls off, something's missing from his life. Something isn't there.
And so Louis tried to change it. At first he started small, trying to change his diet, how much he ate. Then he forced himself to wake at 5 AM daily, pushing himself to run 3 or 4 miles a day. And once that didn't work, he figured it must be his job. He decided that maybe he was overworking himself (a terribly hard thing to think about). Reluctantly, he cut back his hours in the OR, delegated most of his work to his fellows, and attempted to relax. Surprise: it didn't work. He's Louis Tomlinson . Surgery was everything. It kept him running.
So then he figured it had to be his life as a whole. Louis even contemplated changing specialties, but quickly realized he wouldn't be cut out for anything else. Trauma? No thank you. Neuro? Not his cup of tea. Cardio? Nope. Peds? Kids...he'd rather not.
Louis preferred his little bit of everything, thank you very much. The balance was necessary to keep him going.
So at last, Louis took drastic measures. Nothing in his life made sense anymore, and the sense of impending doom left him flighty and irritable. Which led him to Edinburgh.
The first thing that Louis notices is the weather. Everywhere is windy . REALLY fucking windy. And Louis decides he hates it. Why can't everything just be like Doncaster? Everything was better in Doncaster.
But he isn't only here for himself, so it's time to suck it up. Lottie is depending on him, and her new internship isn't anything to mess around with. So it's time for Louis to be a responsible older brother and support her. Even if it means that everything is blowing over and Louis feels like he's dying.
"Louis, are you gonna stay in bed all day then?" comes a bored voice from the door.
"Lottie, leave me in peace, please." Louis groans. "Let me have at least one day before work tomorrow."
"I still can't believe we're gonna work together." she responds excitedly, plopping down on his bed. "We've really grown up, haven't we, Lou?"
"You can thank your father's money for that." Louis responds deftly, displeased that his sister won't leave him.
"He's your father too, you know." Lottie frowns.
"You should've seen him last time. Fucking nightmare, I'm serious." Louis mutters. "The only good thing that piece of shit ever did for this family was paying for med school."
"Right." Lottie says brightly, disregarding Louis' remark. "I'll get us some tea and then you can help me go over my notes. I'll be best in my class and nothing less, thank you. Especially since I'm Dr. Louis Tomlinson's sister."
"A lot to live up to, eh?" Louis smiles lightly.
"Get your head out of your ass." Lottie replies.
"Then get out of my room." Louis responds. "Dr. Louis Tomlinson would like to sleep a bit longer."
"You're a right twat, you know that?" Lottie sighs, before reluctantly leaving the room.
Louis nods sleepily, lying his head back down onto his pillow and allowing himself to drift back to sleep.
*
Lottie permitted an hour's worth of sleep before she yanked Louis out of bed. Literally.
"How are you so strong?" Louis mumbles pitifully, blinking dumbly on the floor.
"Should I take a picture?" Lottie laughs.
"Lottie!" Louis complains, scrambling to get off the floor.
"I'll send it to the twins, yeah?" she replies. "It'll make them laugh."
"Well, alright." Louis relents.
"You're an old sap." Lottie smiles.
"Only for the girls." Louis shakes his head.
"You think they're doing alright with Fizzy?" Lottie wonders.
"They're doing fine. She's a good sister, they're in good hands." Louis replies, waving his hand.
"How is this gonna work?" Lottie asks. "You know, the hospital stuff."
"Well, you'll start as an intern, eventually become a resident. And then you'll pick a specialty, start a fellowship, and well. Go on from there, I guess. Eventually you'll be like me." Louis explains, feigning patience.
Lottie had an affinity for asking questions she already knew the answers to, but Louis didn't mind it for the most part. It made him feel better about his life, and remind him that maybe he did succeed somewhere by raising the girls. Lottie becoming a surgeon was huge, it made him feel like he at least did something right.
"Right. So you want me to be like you." Lottie repeated, voice laced with sarcasm. "Old, sad, and lonely. I'll pass, thanks."
"Lottie!" Louis gasps. "You're lying."
"I dunno, am I?" Lottie replies lightly. "Anyways, there's an intern mixer tonight and I'm required to go."
"Which means?" Louis asks.
"That you have to go with me." Lottie finishes.
"You're funny." Louis replies dryly. "No."
"See, this is what I mean! You hardly do anything but work, eat and sleep." Lottie complains.
"Hey, I do stuff." Louis snaps.
"Like?" Lottie presses.
"I paint...kinda." Louis sighs.
"Kinda. Mhm, okay." Lottie repeats, making a disgusted face.
"I can!" Louis says indignantly.
"Let me know the next time you paint a live subject . I'll wait." Lottie laughs.
"Why do I have to go? Don't you have friends?" Louis complains, ignoring her.
"Because you're the chief of general surgery! Don't you think people are gonna want to know who they're working with!?" Lottie pushes.
"But they'll know tomorrow anyways." Louis whines.
"Lou, I love you, but c'mon. You're coming." Lottie sighs. "Please. Do it for me. I want things to go well here."
"I hate you, you know that?" Louis sighs, rooting through his closet for a clean shirt.
"Excellent." Lottie replies, clapping her hands together. "And no scrubs, it's a little get-together at the hospital. Work starts tomorrow, this is for friends ."
Ew. Friends. What a funny word. Louis decides that he isn't very sure he wants friends here. He doesn't even like the place. Friends don't sound like a good idea at all.
Chapter 2
Summary:
Louis makes friends. (kind of)
Chapter Text
Louis was right. This was NOT a good idea.
The first thing Louis does once he steps foot in the hospital is turn to complain to Lottie. Except she isn’t there.
“Lottie-” He starts, looking around for her.
He spots her animatedly jumping into a conversation with a blonde haired boy and his dark eyed mate, both of whom look a bit overwhelmed by her energy.
“Fucking traitor.” Louis mutters, stalking to a distant corner of the room.
Peace. At last.
Louis scans over the room with judgemental eyes, trying to make out who’s who. Several wide-eyed interns stroll across the floor, busy sucking up to attendings and residents.
Ah, yes. Interns.
They’re useful, Louis thought languidly, but they get in the way so much more.
He stays this way for a while, against the wall staring. Louis has to stifle a laugh as he watches an intern run out of the room looking sick because of a photo of a procedure. He misses the days when he had a weak stomach. Everything was so different back then.
But then again, Louis’ intern days were a whole other degree of disaster. He’d rather not reminisce on that.
“What are you doing hiding away in the corner? This is your day to gain favoritism, bring in some money to your name. Get out there and talk to people.”
A doctor’s discovered his little hideaway and it looks like Louis’s been caught.
“I’m alright, thanks.” Louis replies drily.
“I’m serious, you’re gonna wanna get some favoritism. Take my advice. It’s more OR time.” He continues on, disregarding Louis’s response.
Louis watches him through narrow eyes, reflecting that he vaguely looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. He almost sounds a bit australian.
“Not an issue.” Louis smiles, deciding to humor him. “I’ll get it regardless.”
“You’re an intern?” Shaggy says, raising an eyebrow. “Scut on the bottom of my shoe? It...doesn’t work like that?”
“Oh, but it does.” Louis says wickedly.
“You’ve got another thing coming.” Shaggy sighs, shaking his head. “Things don’t work that way here.”
“They’ll work just fine.” Louis replies.
He reaches out and touches Shaggy’s coat.
“Where did you get yours embroidered? I’m gonna need to get a new one.” Louis asks.
He really should stop, he’s probably going to end up terrorizing this kid. But then again, he is mistaking him for an intern. So there’s that.
“Interns don’t get coats until they make it past their first year…” Shaggy says questioningly.
Louis pulls himself off the wall and holds out his hand to shake. He supposes he’ll save the kid the trauma.
“Louis Tomlinson, chief of gen surgery.”
“I-” Shaggy replies, eyes wide.
“Lovely to meet you.” Louis says smugly.
The doctor stares at Louis for a solid 30 seconds, mouth wide open.
“Are you gonna tell me your name, doctor? Or just stand there.” Louis asks. “Either works, but the first is preferred.”
Shaggy quickly closes his gaping jaw and straightens out his coat.
“Right. Um, Dr. Ashton Irwin. Chief Resident.” he replies, red still painting his cheeks.
“Irwin.” Louis nods. “Right, I’ll try and remember that.”
“Did you just get here, then?” Irwin asks.
“Last night with my sister.” Louis answers. “She’s right over there.”
He points to Lottie who is now smiling and laughing with whom Louis assumes to be an attending.
Always the charmer, Lottie is.
“Oh, she’s very nice. Introduced herself right off the bat to everyone. She’ll do good here.” Irwin replies, watching her chatter with the other doctor.
“Great to know, thanks.” Louis says laconically.
Of course she’s gonna do well, it’s Louis’ sister. He brought her up to look out for herself. Not that Louis won’t be around to help out.
Louis manages to chase Irwin off after a couple minutes of boring conversation and goes back to his corner of silence.
Which was a mistake. A huge fucking mistake.
The mistake came with a name.
“Dr. Niall Horan, nice to meet ya!”
What a mistake. Louis was now caught and didn’t know what to do. This is really not going well. Louis doesn’t know how to get away from him. The man talks and talks. And then he talks some more.
“And…” Niall pauses, taking a breath. “What did you say your name was?”
“Louis Tomlinson.” Louis replies primly, holding out his hand.
“Aye!” Niall barks happily. “Tommo, you’re the doctor everyone’s been talking about!”
“Could you not-” Louis starts, mildly annoyed.
“You’ll get on fine, here. We’ve got the best doctors around.” Niall says, ignoring him as he chatters on.
Does he even notice that Louis is here? Maybe he could just slide away.
“Well, we’ve got to introduce you to everyone, then!” Niall commands cheerfully, slinging his arm around Louis’ shoulders.
This damn Irish doctor.
Niall practically interrogates him about his journey into the state, asking about every little thing and roaring with laughter as he found out that Louis accidentally overslept and had to rush to the airport with a disgruntled Lottie as they almost missed their flight. (Which was NOT something to laugh about, thanks).
Louis learns to his horror that Niall lives on the same apartment floor as them. If he could barely stand talking to him for 15 minutes, how is the whole year going to go?
So Louis smiles through painful introductions, one after the other, mentally trying to mark down who he would want in his OR and whatnot.
After a particularly painful introduction between him and a resident named Clifford, Louis decides it’s time for a break.
“Niall, I’m gonna go get a drink or something.” Louis mutters, ducking out from under him.
“Ah, c’mon mate, Clifford’s just a bit shy. Quite good once you get to know him. Very gifted, extremely.” Niall says.
“I’ll be back!” Louis replies gleefully, ducking out from under his arm and disappearing into the crowd.
Louis wants to go back to his little corner of peace. Leave all the talking to Lottie, it’s what she's good at. On the way, he decides that he’ll keep his promise to Niall and grab a drink. He plucks a flute of champagne off the table and sips carefully, immediately wrinkling his nose.
Right. Louis forgot how fucking gross champagne was. So much for that.
“You managed to get away. Impressive.”
Louis whirls around mid-step. A woman doctor is staring at him with a smirk, arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Louis can’t help but notice with a start that she’s American, accent roughly cutting through all of the other voices in the room.
“Sorry, what?” Louis asks, mildly uncomfortable.
He really doesn’t want to reject someone his first night in, especially because of the fact that it comes with the whole “I’m gay, actually” talk. He’d rather not have his sexuality released to the whole hospital. Not yet.
“Dr. Horan.” she replies, laughing at his obvious confusion. “He’s a handful, that one. Brilliant, but a handful.”
Despite his promise to himself, Louis can’t help but smile. “Right, um. He talks a lot. Does that ever stop?”
“Get used to it, babe. It’s his absolute favorite thing to do.” she responds with an amused smile. “He’s good company, though. Really great with patients, makes them smile.”
“Oh, that’s good, I guess.” Louis breathes.
“Where are my manners?” the woman says suddenly, coloring a bit. “Maya Henry, chief of cardio.”
“I’m Louis, Louis Tomlinson. Going to be the chief of general.” Louis replies. “But you already knew that, I assume.”
“Yes, you’ll learn that this hospital is a fat load of gossips.” Maya says, waving her hand. “Everyone knows everything. So keep your lips sealed and your secrets close to your heart. Words travel fast here.”
“Great, thanks to know.” Louis says, trailing off.
Louis wants his corner. And these hospital people really don’t want him to have it. Fucking inconviences.
He stands awkwardly with her for a couple seconds, not sure what to say.
“Sit with me?” Maya invites.
“Sure.” Louis replies, giving up on ever reaching salvation.
They sit down at a table and Maya watches him silently from behind her glass of champagne. The awkwardness doesn’t seem to bother her at all, but it leaves Louis squirming in his seat.
“You don’t wanna be here, do you?” she finally says with a laugh.
“Not exactly.” Louis admits slowly.
“You’ll warm up to us eventually.” Maya says.
Louis notes how the whole hospital seems to belong to each other, referring to themselves as a whole. The community seems close-knit, a bit secure if you will, but overall everyone seems warm and welcoming.
So maybe it won’t be that bad. What’s the worst that can happen?
“Louis?”
Louis snaps back into reality and manages a convincing smile.
“Sorry, what was that?”
Louis forces himself to be somewhat social, and actually manages to carry an interesting conversation with Maya. Though he hates to admit it, he actually enjoys her company a bit, tuning out the rest of the room and cracking stupid jokes to make her laugh.
He learns a bit about her, and how long she’s been here. She gives him bits of advice about the hospital (“never go to the third floor on-call room, everyone’s always hooking up in there and it’s disturbing, honestly”) and she manages to make him laugh as well with a couple of snarky remarks directed towards some of the interns.
Louis is just asking her about her opinion on who the best residents to allow on his service would be when he's interrupted quite quickly.
“Hello, darling, and who would this be?”
A rather bear-like man wraps his arm around Maya’s shoulders protectively, eyeing Louis up and down.
“Why do you always call me that, it’s weird.” Maya sniffs, removing herself from his arm. “This is Dr. Tomlinson, he’s starting here tomorrow.”
Louis waves half heartedly, warily watching as Maya attempts conversation with both of them, ignoring the way that the other doctor’s basically baring his teeth.
“Liam Payne. Head of Trauma.”
Liam holds out his hand and tightly shakes it. Louis has to imagine a bloody trauma to keep himself from laughing, observing how obviously in love Liam was with Maya. Maya doesn’t seem bothered so Louis figures that she has a bit of an idea but hasn’t acted on anything.
Ah yes, drama with the attendings. Always a fun time.
“Lovely to meet you.” Louis manages to reply.
Liam sits down at the table firmly and Maya stays silent, finding her glass of champagne suddenly very interesting.
“Right.” Louis coughs. “Well, Maya it was nice talking, I’ll see you around.”
He fidgets a bit with his shirt (“wear this blue one, it brings out your eyes” Lottie said) and decides to just make a break for it.
Maya waves goodbye and Liam stiffly nods at him.
Making enemies on the first fucking day, excellent. Just what Louis needs.
He slides to the back of the room and is just contemplating if it would be a good idea to sneak out or not when someone clinks their spoon to their glass and calls attention.
“Hello, hello. Welcome to Edith hospital.”
A dark eyed man stands at the front of the room, suit ironed neatly and a beautiful smile on his face. If Louis didn’t know he was straight, he would have definitely tried to go for him.
“I am Dr. Zayn Malik, chief of surgery here. Interns, these next few years are going to be the most important in your whole life. You’re building your life here, your skills, your relationships, and preparing yourself to become some of the greatest surgeons in the world. It’s not going to come easy, believe me when I say this. It’s going to be difficult, it’s going to be exhausting, and it’s going to be grueling. But it’s also going to be rewarding. So damn rewarding. Because at the end of the day, there’s nothing better than seeing a family smile when they hear you saved their person’s life. So buckle up. It’s going to be a hell of an experience.”
The room erupts into applause and Louis claps along with them, impressed. Zayn truly has a way with words.
“Allow me to bring forward the heads of our departments here.” Zayn requests, beckoning.
Fucking fuck. Idiot.
Louis dies inwardly as he walks up, Maya and Liam waiting with another woman and Niall.
“Dr. Maya Henry, chief of cardio.” Zayn introduces.
Maya gives a small wave, looking semi bored.
“Dr. Liam Payne, chief of trauma.”
Liam gives a wry smile and edges closer to Maya. Louis has to suppress his eye roll.
“Dr. Niall Horan, chief of peds.”
Niall waves enthusiastically, smiling widely. Louis can’t help but wonder who was more of a kid, Niall’s patients or the man himself.
“Dr. Gigi Hadid, chief of neurosurgery.”
A beautiful woman smiles brightly as Zayn wraps his arm around her waist before turning to Louis.
“And here we have our newcomer, Dr. Louis Tomlinson, chief of general.”
Louis smiles awkwardly and nods.
“And that’ll do it.” Zayn says, turning to the audience. “Welcome to Edith, I hope this hospital becomes a wonderful home to all of you.”
They all clap once again and then Irwin stands and calls for attention.
“I’m Dr. Irwin, your chief resident. If you need anything, answer to me.”
They all nods and then people begin to mill around again.
“Tomlinson.” Zayn calls.
“Chief?”
Zayn smiles cheerfully, eyes crinkling. “Welcome. I’ll see you tomorrow?”
“Thank you, see you then.” Louis replies.
“My fiance.” Zayn introduces, gesturing to Hadid.
“Nice to meet you, Dr. Hadid.” Louis says.
“Oh, just Gigi is alright, thank you.” she hums.
“Right. Well, good night.” Louis says, fidgeting.
He really needs to be more social, this is a disaster.
They sweep off to go woo the others and Louis makes a run for it.
He’s halfway through the hospital foyer when he sees Niall smoking near the entrance. He turns around but Niall’s already spotted him.
“Tommo! Over here!”
Fuck. There’s truly no way out here.
“Hello, Niall.” Louis sighs, walking over.
“Did you hear Zayn’s speech?” Niall asks, blowing smoke in his face. “Pretty good, innit?”
Louis nods silently.
“You’re so uptight, mate. What do you say we get a drink?” Niall says, stamping out his cigarette.
“Those are really bad for you, you know.” Louis replies, avoiding the question.
Niall rolls his eyes. “I’m aware, I practically live with a cardiologist. Maya never lets up about it.”
“Hm. Well she’s right.” Louis murmurs.
“C’mon mate, just a couple drinks is all.” Niall says, pulling him to the parking lot.
How touchy feely. Being friends with people is weird.
“You know what, fine.” Louis replies, going out on a limb.
It’s always easier to pass time when you’re drunk. The hospital is a bore, anyways.
“Excellent!” Niall says, clapping. “I’ll call a cab.”
They head across the city to Niall’s favorite bar. The man truly never stops talking, asking about all sorts of things and then answering most of them himself. Louis doesn’t mind it, he’s always preferred to listen rather than talk, so it balances out. He warms up to Niall eventually, learning that he too is obsessed with soccer (or football, as he calls it). It helps that Louis has chosen a very strong cocktail to drink while he learns about Niall’s life story.
He’s just about to ask for a refill when Niall asks him a question that almost makes him vomit up his insides from laughing so hard.
“Mate, I don’t wanna say it, but I do hope you know there’s a man who's been checking out your ass for the past hour.”
Seeing Nialls face as Louis accepts the information so easily makes him laugh even more.
“‘Course I know.” Louis finally replies, tears streaming.
“Oh.” Niall squeaks, looking a bit embarrassed.
“It’s alright, Niall. I’m gay.” Louis says, still giggling.
So maybe getting drunk wasn’t the best idea. To be fair, they were gonna find out eventually.
“Well, good on you and all that.” Niall says easily, reverting back to his old self.
“Don’t worry about it.” Louis laughs, waving his hand. “Everyones always surprised or whatever.”
“Well, with eyes like those it’s surprising you aren’t taken.” Niall complains. “How was I supposed to know?”
“I know, I know, I have a nice ass.” Louis preens.
He really does, it’s probably one of his favorite things about him. It’s not exactly something that he tells people, but it’s definitely true.
“Well,” Niall gestures towards the guy with his cup. “Aren’t you gonna go get him?”
“Nah.” Louis says, shaking his head. “Not my type.”
“You have a type?”
“I think so, yeah.” Louis replies. “Well, kind of, you know? To be honest I’m kind of just waiting for a person to come around and then I’ll just know.”
“Good luck.” Niall snorts.
“Thanks.” Louis says. “I’ll need it.”
“Sure, sure.” Niall rolls his eyes. “You’ll be fine.”
“How can you be so sure, Mr. I’veOnlyKnownYouForAnHour?”
The man had way too much faith in Louis.
“Okay, then, I don’t know, tell me about yourself.” Niall replies lazily, downing another beer.
“What’s there to say.” Louis grimaces.
“I dunno mate, tell me about your family or something.”
Family. That’s going for the good stuff right away.
“Um, well.” Louis says questioningly.
“I don’t need your life secrets, just tell me a little about them.” Niall says, noticing his discomfort.
Or maybe he was just drunk and getting bored. Either one.
“Well, there’s Lottie, who you met.” Louis starts. “And then I’ve got another sister, Fizzy who’s at home with the girls. Well- the twins, I should say. They’re quite young so she’s looking after them. Fizzy practically forced me and Lottie out here.”
“Hm. Sounds nice.” Niall grunts.
“Yeah, they’re alright.” Louis hums.
“Parents?” Niall asks, calling for another beer.
“Well my mum, she’s passed.” Louis looks down. “She was great. My best friend.”
“I’m sorry man.” Niall says somberly.
Even though he could tell Niall was stupid drunk, Louis appreciated the sentiment. Why was he telling Niall this anyways?
“Dad?” Niall asks.
“Um.” Louis says, gripping the table.
He’d rather not answer this one.
“Not present, okay.” Niall hums, passing over the subject. “Well, seems like a pretty nice family.”
Oh, if only he knew. If only.
“‘S alright.” Louis says airly, trying to change the subject. “And you?”
He and Niall sit and chat for a couple more hours, and it’s only when Lottie sends Louis a very graphic text that he decides it’s time to go.
“Niall, let’s go home. I’ll call a cab.” he says, pulling on Nialls arm.
“You gotta hear my joke, Louis.”
“Niall, let’s go.” Louis insist, but can’t help smiling.
“Why did the banana go to the doctor?” Niall asks, laughing already.
“Um..” Louis says, attempting to get him out of his chair.
“Because it wasn’t peeling well!” Niall finishes, cackling loudly.
‘Ha ha.” Louis responds dryly. “Let’s go, you big brute.”
Niall obediently follows Louis lead and they head out of the bar to the curb to find a taxi. Thankfully, Louis spots one and yells as loud as he can.
“Oi! Over here!”
Niall joins in gladly and they hail the cab quickly.
Just as they’re about to get in, a tall man wrapped tightly in a coat cuts them off and climbs into the cab.
“Hey man, what the hell?” Louis complains.
The man yells at the cab to leave and Louis flips off the car as it speeds away.
“Fucking dick.”
They manage to tumble into Louis’ apartment 20 minutes later to find an absolutely fuming Lottie.
“Louis! You have work tomorrow!” she shrieks.
“Lay off it, Lottie. Lemme get him to his apartment, give me a second.” Louis sighs.
At least they lived near each other.
“Hey, she’s pretty.” Niall murmurs drunkenly.
“That’s my sister, hands off.” Louis complains, lugging him into his room.
After setting Niall to bed and locking the door securely behind him, Louis practically runs back to his own apartment.
“Louis William Tomlinson!” Lottie whines.
“Lots, I love you, but please let me sleep.” Louis groans. “You have rounds tomorrow, get to bed.”
“Don’t think I’m forgetting about this!” she says, but Louis swears he sees her smile before leaving the room.
Despite not wanting any, Louis has made a couple friends. (Well, sort of). So yes, maybe Edinburgh is off to an okay start.
Chapter 3
Summary:
Louis has a bad day.
Notes:
hey hey, so this is where the medical part of the story comes in a bit more :) you'll see some more familiar faces! i apologize if everything isn't completely medically correct, i'm obviously not a doctor haha
Chapter Text
Louis really should stop counting his eggs before they hatch. Seriously.
He and Lottie climb into the car at 5 o’clock in the morning, Lottie anxious for rounds and Louis having no choice but to drive her.
Lottie begs him for coffee on the way over (“Louis, please! It’s my first day and I need everything to go perfect!”) so he reluctantly pulls into a random coffee shop and orders her a drink.
It’s full of sugar and really gets her going but Louis stays quiet and smiles softly, keeping his eyes on the road and letting her rant about her worries.
His body is just starting to buzz with nervousness when the world falls apart in front of his eyes. Quite literally.
One second Louis is driving towards the toll for the bridge, rustling around for his pass, and then the next, everything is gone.
The bridge caves with a large puff of dust, obstructing his vision of the road completely and causing Lottie to grab at his arm.
“Louis.” she asks anxiously. “Louis, what just happened?”
“I think the bridge just caved.” Louis replies numbly.
Never a dull fucking day.
“C’mon, Lots. We need to help.” he says, clambering out of the car.
“Call the chief!” she calls.
The smoke begins to clear and Louis’ heart drops as he sees that the bridge has completely fallen through.
He pulls out his phone and dials Zayn, fingers shaking.
“Tomlinson?” he asks, sounding a little sleepy. “Mate, it’s 5 in the morning?”
“A bridge just fell through. I’m 15 minutes out, gonna stay on the scene and triage.” Louis says. “Call Payne. There’s a huge car pileup.”
“Fuck.” Zayn mutters.
Louis hears Gigi in the background, asking what’s wrong, and Zayn tumbling into clothes.
“How bad does it look?”
“It’s bad.” Louis says as he gets closer to the crash. “4-car pile up and who knows how many people got hit. It’s stopped up the whole highway.”
“I hate bridges.” Zayn sighs. “Come in as soon as you can, we need you here.”
“I gotta go.” Louis says quickly, spotting someone hanging outside of their car. “I’ll hop on a rig. Be ready!”
He hangs up the phone quickly and rushes over.
“Ma’am?”
A woman stares up at him, disoriented, car flipped onto its side.
“Ma’am, can you hear me? My name is Dr. Tomlinson, I’m here to help you. You’ve been in an accident.”
“Doctor.” she gasps. “Please.”
“Can you tell me where it hurts?” Louis asks gently.
First responders have started to swarm the bridge, lights flashing and alarms going off everywhere.
Louis hates traumas. They’re loud, they hurt, and someone always dies.
She gestures to her stomach and with a sick feeling, Louis realizes she must be pregnant.
“How far along are you?” he asks, tittering around to see how he can get her out of the car.
“Just a couple weeks.” she replies breathlessly, trying to wiggle around to face him.
“Can you tell me how many?” Louis says patiently.
“Only four, I took the test 2 days ago.” she replies tearfully.
“I need you to stay still, Ms…” Louis trails off.
“Chambers. Dr. Tomlinson, please.” she fills in. “My daughters on the other side of the car.”
Oh. Oh.
“I need some help over here!” Louis roars, rushing to the other side of the car.
Just as he expects, blood splatters the window.
A couple firefighters make their way over, staring at him questioningly.
“Louis Tomlinson, head of general surgery at Edith Memorial. We need to get them out. Mother with unknown abdominal pain, early stages of pregnancy. Daughter with unidentified injuries, she looks like she’s lost a lot of blood. We need to get them out now .”
They nod and beckon to others and Louis sidles up to who seems like the head of the department.
“She’s not gonna make it if we don’t hurry. She’s lost almost too much blood already.” he whispers.
“Don’t you worry, Doctor. You do your job and I’ll do mine.”
Louis frowns slightly.
“Chief Nick Grimshaw. I guess we’ll be seeing more of each other, hm?”
The man finally turns around and Louis almost does a double take.
He’s hot. Yup, they’ll definitely be seeing more of each other if Louis can help it.
“Yeah, I guess so.” Louis smiles languidly, trying to regain his cool demeanor.
He really needs to get better at this.
“Looks like your girl is out.” Grimshaw nods, and Louis sighs in relief as he sees the daughter being taken out of the car.
“Mind if I hop on a rig to the hospital?” Louis asks, snapping on a pair of gloves.
“Be my guest.” Grimshaw replies, waving his hand. “Someone here for your car, though?”
Louis nods absentmindedly. “My sister’ll take it.”
Louis steps back over to the crashed car with a nod, sending Lottie a quick text directing her to the hospital. He’d be surprised if she hadn’t already been paged.
“Ma’am, what’s your name?” Louis asks gently, discreetly checking for any injuries.
“Elle. Elle Chambers.” the woman replies, shaking in his arms.
“Alright, Elle, we need to get you to the hospital to make sure you’re okay, alright?”
“No.” Elle shakes her head. “My daughter, I need to make sure she’s okay. Please.”
“Ma’am we really need to get you-” Louis starts impatiently.
“No.” Elle replies, setting her jaw. “I go when she goes.”
“Please, at least just get checked for me, okay? I’m gonna do my best to take care of her.” Louis begs. “We need to make sure your little babe is doing okay.”
After much wheedling and begging Louis manages to get Elle to check in with the paramedics and anxiously waits as the firemen remove the top half of the car slowly.
This could go one of two ways.
It really seems that it’ll go the wrong way, seeming that there’s a car on top of this girl, no one knows what injuries she might have, and she’s completely unresponsive.
Yeah, Louis is definitely screwed.
“She’ll be okay, right?” Elle asks anxiously. “Right?”
“Um.” Louis replies, at a loss for words.
Probably not.
“We’re doing the best we can.” he settles on.
The best we can.
Louis’ insides die at those words, knowing it’s such an empty promise. He hopes there's an excellent plastic surgeon at the hospital.
“Tomlinson! We’re bringing her out.” Grimshaw roars.
The saw buzzes and the car's top lifts off.
All Louis can see is blood. Everywhere.
“Fuck.” he mutters snapping on gloves.
There goes this shirt.
He jumps into action with the paramedics, checking her pulse to see if she’s stable and assessing to make sure she has no open wounds. Louis can barely tell what’s skin and what’s flesh.
“I’ve got a weak pulse, let’s get her up into the rig, we need to get her some blood now .” Louis orders.
The girl’s face is completely destroyed and red, blood seeping out of her ears and mouth.
“This is,” Louis sighs. “This is not good.”
Happy first day.
He walks with the paramedics to a rig and they immediately spring into action, putting in an IV and hanging units of blood.
“We need to get to Edith as fast as possible.” Louis winces, checking how tender her abdomen is. “She’s got a huge abdomen lac.”
“She’s spelling blood everywhere, damn it.” the paramedic swears, grabbing more units.
“Sawyer!”
Louis turns around startled, to see Elle clawing at another paramedic in tears, trying to escape her grasp.
“Ma’am, you need to sit back down!”
Elle continues to fight, and Louis hops off the rig.
“Elle, you need to let us take her. I’ll be with her, okay?” Louis promises.
“Tomlinson, let’s go!”
“You promise?” Elle asks.
Louis nods quickly and flees to the other ambulance once again.
He sits in silence for a while as they speed over, holding pressure over Sawyer’s wounds and watching the paramedic flit around the rig.
“You’re new here.” she finally says, breaking the silence.
“I am.” Louis nods. “First day.”
“Well, “ she smiles. “What a nice welcome.”
“Yeah.” Louis says, laughing softly.
“Perrie.” the woman says. “I would hold out my hand to shake but we’re both a little busy.”
“Louis.” Lous replies, nodding.
They continue to work in silence, Perrie attending to the blood splattered everywhere, and Louis making sure her insides don’t fall out. When they finally arrive, Perrie pushes past him and hops down quickly.
“What do we have?” Liam asks roughly.
“Sawyer Chambers, 16, abdomen injury, and well. As you can see. Tachycardic in the field. Thready pulse. Already had to hang about two units of blood but she’s basically bleeding out.” Perrie relays.
Liam gasps as he sees Sawyer. “Jesus, Pez, this is one of the worst you’ve brought in.”
Louis climbs out of the rig carefully, making sure to keep pressure.
“Top o’ the morning, Payne.” he says breezily, completely aware he must look absolutely horrible right now.
“Tomlinson?” Liam asks, confused.
“Almost died myself.” Louis says, climbing carefully out of the rig while holding pressure.
“Well.” Liam says, not sounding in the least bit worried.
Rude.
He pushes Louis out of the way quickly. Louis gives a squawk of disapproval but Liam is already moving away, yelling orders firmly to everyone in the ER.
“Let me know if she turns out okay, yeah?” Perrie asks, climbing back into the rig.
“Right.” Louis mutters. “Sure.”
It‘s not until Perrie is gone 2 minutes later that he realizes he has no way to contact her.
He turns into the ER with a sigh, to find it buzzing with activity. Liam has since dropped Sawyer into a trauma room and has gone back to barking orders and checking charts.
“Tomlinson! Don’t be shy! Jump in.” he says, frustrated.
Louis isn’t sure he likes Liam too much.
“Don’t worry, he always gets like this on trauma days.”
Louis turns with a smile to see Maya putting on a gown and he follows suit.
“You were at the sight?” Maya asks as they tie each other up.
“Yeah, it was a mess when I left.” Louis replies.
“Hm. It’s gonna be a busy day, I think.” Maya hums.
“I met Grimshaw there.” Louis adds on as an afterthought.
They walk over to the beds, Louis checking abdomens and Maya checking breathing sounds.
“Like him?” Maya asks across from him.
“He’s alright.” Louis shrugs. “I only talked to him for a couple minutes.”
I only talked to him for a couple minutes but that man is beautiful.
“He’s great. Trains our firefighters great.” Maya agrees. “Who’d you come in with?”
“The blonde one, Perrie?” Louis says.
“I like her, she’s funny. Good worker.” Maya laughs.
She beckons to a nurse to admit her patient and then leaves with a quick flutter of her fingers, rushing into a trauma room.
Louis steps up to his next patient and reads the chart.
“Hey, I’m just going to feel around and make sure nothing’s going wrong, yeah?” He says, looking up.
The man nods nervously.
“Hm, you’ve got a bit of a lac here.” Louis frowns, checking out his side. “Nothing too bad, but we’ll get someone to come over here and stitch you up, alright?”
The man flinches a bit at his words and Louis smiles gently.
“Not a fan of hospitals?”
“Not my favorite place to be.” The man mutters.
“Well,” Louis pauses, leaning over to check his chart. “Alex, don’t worry about it. We’ll get you out of here in no time.”
Alex nods meekly, shutting his eyes.
“Irwin!” Louis snaps his fingers.
Irwin comes over quickly from the nurse’s station, looking sleepy.
“Morning, Dr. Tomlinson.”
“Page plastics for him, he needs some stitches.” Louis orders. “And someone good, too. Who’s the head of plastics here?”
Louis frowns, trying to think back to last night. If his memory is correct (it obviously is), no one was introduced.
“He’s not here today, doctor.” Iwin replies, glued to his tablet. “I can page someone else?”
“You’re joking.” Louis replies. “One of the biggest fucking traumas I’ve ever seen and the head of plastics isn’t even here?!”
Several patients turn towards Louis with indignant faces. Right. He should probably work on that bedside manner.
“Tomlinson! Get in here!” Liam roars all of the sudden.
“Jesus.” Louis mutters, swinging around to the trauma rooms. “Page someone for that lac, Irwin. You’re on my service today.”
He rolls his eyes at Irwin’s surprised face and steps into the room.
Ah, blood. So much blood.
“Payne, what the fuck?” Louis gasps, stepping in to assess. “Where do you need me?”
“Take a look.” Liam sighs, pulling back his hands.
The man’s abdomen is open and spilling blood.
“God, his ribs.” Louis mutters.
“Out of the way!” Maya says, rushing towards the man. “His lungs are collapsing, fuck. And the ribs, damnnit. I need to get him to the OR, now.”
“He’s got some fluid in the abdomen, I need to remove it or everything’s gonna get worse.” Louis says, checking the ultrasound.
“Can you do it in the OR? His heart isn’t going to make it much longer.” Maya asks, concerned.
“Yeah, that’s fine.” Louis nods.
His heart rate picks up as he walks to grab his scrubs, changing his shoes.
He grabs his scrub cap out of his locker where he left it last night. He tosses it tentatively between his hands, slightly nervous.
“Step it up, Tommo, it’s a fucking abdominal tap. You could do this in your sleep.” He sighs, tying back his cap.
He steps into the scrub room quietly, seeing Maya already quick at work trying to save the man's lungs and heart.
She’s talented. Perhaps if he wasn’t so gay he’d be attracted to her.
The thought alone makes Louis smile.
“Tomlinson.” Maya nods.
“How’s it going?” Louis asks, busying himself with the needles.
“Alright, he’s stable for now but I’m worried about taking him off bypass.” Maya sighs.
Louis nods quietly and squirts the ultrasound onto the man once more.
“Nice cap.” Maya laughs quietly.
She herself is wearing a dark blue cap with plump little pink pigs littering the material.
“I like yours too.” Louis laughs.
It’s truly adorable, to be honest. Louis likes Maya’s vibes.
Louis’ cap is something he had specially made to mimic his tattoos. He mostly has to cover them up, due to patient care so he enjoys having something to represent them in the meantime. He added his favorite tattoos to the cap, including a compass, a stag, and most importantly, a little baby 28 in the back.
Louis might be a little obsessed.
“So does he have a name?” Louis wonders out loud.
“Came in unidentified.” Maya shrugs.
“Hm. I wonder if he has a family.” Louis murmurs, setting to work. “Scalpel?”
He looks up to the scrub nurse nervously, hand out, and oh .
Oh no. This is bad. Bad bad bad.
Because of course , of fucking course, the scrub nurse has to be the man from the bar staring at his ass last night. Of course. This day can't get any better.
At least Niall will think it’s funny.
The nurse hands him the scalpel and he only makes the smallest incision, just big enough for the needle to fit well.
Redness creeps up his cheeks as he hands the scalpel back in return for the needle.
“Thank you.” He mutters, turning back to the body.
Maya quirks an eyebrow but lets it go. “Anyways, why do you ask?”
“‘S always nice to know a bit about them.” Louis shrugs. “I know we can’t get close and whatnot but I like to at least have a little insight.”
“Well, sorry. I think they’re still trying to find his family, poor man.” Maya sighs.
“We’ll make a life for him.” Louis muses, fitting in the needle. “A person with a story is a person to remember.”
“Hm?” Maya smiles, bemused.
“Because they’ll always have something to say.” Louis says, feeling mildly ridiculous.
He looks down at his work with flaming cheeks. Louis didn’t intend to get all deep on his first day of work, but it was something his old mentor had taught him when he was just an intern himself, to bring value to the work he was performing.
“Very insightful, Tomlinson.” Maya says, engrossed in her work. “Give me a second.”
They work in silence for a couple minutes and then she finally looks up.
“Okay. He should be stable for a bit now.” she hums, satisfied. “Give me a story, Tommo.”
Louis winces, noting duly how everyone has seemed to pick up the nickname.
“I dunno.” Louis shrugs. “It has to be good, right? So it needs to be like him.”
Louis stares up at the ceiling, willing himself to come up with an idea. They’re all staring at him besides Maya, who’s still glued to the body open in front of them.
“He’s a radio presenter.” Louis decides. “And his name is Fred.”
“Fred?” Maya says with a laugh. “Okay, Fred it is.”
“And he has two kids, they’re twins. A boy and a girl. And they’ve got flaming red hair, which Fred is so, so proud about.” Louis continues, “And he and the kids and his wife live on the outskirts of the city, which he doesn’t mind because it means that he can have some land for gardening.”
Louis’ imagination takes off (which is saying something) and he hopes that the OR staff doesn’t think he’s absolute fucking bonkers.
“And the daughter wants a horse really bad. No, the son does.” Louis decides. “And the daughter really wants a tractor because she’s strong and powerful like that.”
“Breaking gender barriers, mhm.” Maya nods, eyes crinkling.
“And the kiddos really want to go on a grand trip over to America, just so that they can say they did and tell all their friends.” Louis laughs. “So everyday their dad goes to the station and works really hard, so he and the wife can save up for their trip.”
“Well,” Maya murmurs. “Hopefully we can give them that trip soon.”
The OR lapses into silence for a while, Louis going over to assist Maya once he finishes draining the fluid. They continue to add on to Fred’s story, adding names for the family and building stories for each of them.
Hours later, Louis is just beginning to feel the surgery take it's toll on him when Maya finishes a row of stitches with a satisfied sigh.
“Shall we take him off bypass?” Louis asks and Maya nods at the anesthesiologist.
And of course everything doesn’t go as planned because that’s just how Louis’ life works.
Fred immediately begins to hemorrhage, bringing alarms beeping everywhere.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Maya swears, suctioning off as much blood as possible.
“Bleeders?” Louis asks frantically.
“I can’t get a visual.” Maya replies, pulling out blood by the handfuls. “Hang another unit!”
“Maya, try and find it, I’ll suction.” Louis says, digging in.
“C’mon Fred, you’re supposed to see America.” Maya mutters, rooting around.
“Maya…he can't take this for too much longer.” Louis warns, concern lacing his voice. “Anything?”
“Suction!” she snaps, holding out her hand to the scrub nurse.
Louis stays quiet, suctioning as much as he can.
“I found it.” Maya breathes out a minute later. “This stitch didn’t hold…”
“Thank god his heart didn’t stop.” Louis sighs in relief.
Maya fixes the stitches and makes sure they hold before they silently close up the patient.
Back in the scrub room, Louis peels off his clothes and runs his hands through his hair. The day was tiring but he's pleased he and Maya were able to save Fred.
“Thanks for the help.” Maya nods, pulling off her gown. “And the story.”
Louis nods, amused.
“You’re getting paged, I think?” she says, nodding at his pager.
“Shit, right. Thank you, dear American.” Louis says with an exaggerated bow.
He checks his page, concerned to see it's from the ER. He rushes down, wondering what could possibly be the matter.
“Irwin?” Louis asks, immediately confused. “What the hell happened here?”
“He said he was fine…” Irwin trails off, looking devastated.
Louis steps towards the writhing form of a man and he really, really hopes it’s not one of his own patients.
But of fucking course it is.
“Alex?” Louis mutters, recognizing his face as he comes up. “What’s going on, mate?”
“Dr. Tomlinson.” he gasps. “My stomach, please.”
He gently removes Alex’s hands from his stomach and presses gently down to see if it’s tender. With a start, Alex let’s out a soft groan of pain before hurling straight onto Louis’ shoes.
Well.
The vomit is full of blood and Alex is continually throwing it up.
“His bowel is perforated, we need to get him up to the OR now !” Louis orders. “Let’s move, people!”
The staff stayed frozen for a second, staring.
“Listen to the doctor, move!” Liam yells, appearing out of nowhere.
That’s a problem for another day.
“What’s going on?” Alex groans.
“Listen, mate. I need you to tell me when you started to feel the pain in your stomach.” Louis asks seriously, meeting him eye to eye.
“I didn’t..” Alex starts, looking shifty.
“Alex, please. I need to know, your bowel isn’t doing well and we need to take you to surgery.” Louis begs.
“I don’t- I thought it was just a stomach ache.” Alex replies, confused. “You said I just needed some stitches…”
“When did it start?” Louis replies, wheeling him up to the OR.
“I don’t know, when I got here?”
This isn’t good. He could have infections, he could be bleeding out and no one- more importantly Louis- didn’t even notice.
He scrubs as fast as he can, anxiously watching as they put him under.
“Please, please, don’t make me lose a patient on the first day.” Louis prays.
He wasn’t even religious, but it felt nice to pray to something up there.
He takes a deep breath and smiles.
“10 blade?"
Louis is dismayed to find a pool of blood surging out the second he cuts Alex open.
*
“Time of death, 21:38.” Louis rasps hollowly.
He leaves the OR slowly, sunkenly replaying in his mind everything that happened.
“Hey Lou, how was your day?” Lottie asks him, catching him outside of the OR. “I had a really nice- Louis?
“Not right now, Lottie. I’ll come home later, yeah?” Louis sullenly mutters, brushing past her.
“Louis?” she calls out.
He hates that he can hear Irwin behind him, hates that he can hear the murmurs.
“Liver abscess… from the infection.”
Louis shakes his head and walks to the closest on-call room he can find.
Which just so happens to be the third floor one, so of fucking course someone has to be getting it on.
Louis doesn’t even have the energy in him to yell at them, slamming the door behind them and turning into the NICU, at a loss of where to go.
He perches carefully on a bench, silently watching the interactions between new families with their babies.
As much as it hurts, it brings Louis a little bit of peace to see the crying new mothers and fathers, embracing their new sons and daughters.
He tries to push the thoughts of Alex’s surgery to the edges of his mind, which of course means that it’s all he can think about. Louis feels like a failure, a laughing stalk. He hates to make mistakes, but it makes it ten times worse that it was on his first fucking day, when he was already under watchful eyes.
“It’s a new day tomorrow.”
Louis frowns, turning around to look for the unknown voice speaking to him. He catches a glance of a surgical gown rounding the corner, and hastens to look around and see who it was who spoke.
No one stands where he saw the figure, and Louis is ready to cry with frustration. He's a fucking joke.
"You said I just needed some stitches…"
Chapter 4
Summary:
Louis finds someone who understands.
Chapter Text
After a couple days at Edith, minus the horrible first day he had, Louis feels that maybe he judged too early. He enjoys working with his fellow attendings, and grudgingly is starting to respect his peers. He prefers to stay to himself for the most part (“You’re just antisocial and it’s not healthy!” Lottie argued) but Louis finds himself enjoying his conversations more and more with Maya, and though he’d never admit it, Niall as well. Dr. Horan is one chatty man, but he’s talented and attentive with kids, performing his job well. And on top of that, of course, is the fact that Niall happens to be an excellent gossip.
Leave it to Niall to find out anything that’s needed about the hospital. Louis is amused by the fact that the whole hospital is so close-knit and nothing seems to be a secret. He knows that it could come back to bite him in the ass, so maybe being introverted will come in handy.
“And so- Louis?” Maya asks, snapping her fingers in front of his face.
“Yup, mhm. Sorry.” he blinks, focusing on Maya.
“Anyways,” Maya says, rolling her eyes. “Styles has been out for a week and no one can seem to find him. I was going to invite him to my party, but he disappeared off the face of the earth, that twat.”
“Picking up on our language, aren’t you?” Louis smirks.
Maya rolls her eyes again and huffs. “If he would come back, then all the attendings would be going. Well, and our favorite EMTs.”
“Who says I was going?” Louis laughs. “And besides, we’ve lasted just fine 4 days without him, it’ll be fine.”
“Just makes it more annoying, everyone’s having to cover his service and his fellow is an absolute idiot, I’m telling you.” Niall snorts, grabbing an absurd amount of scones from the coffee cart.
“Coffee person?” Louis asks.
“I’m a growing man, Tommo!” Niall gestures. “Need some nutrients, don’t I?”
“Right.” Louis replies dryly.
“How is your heart not dead yet?” Maya sighs.
“He runs like a rabbit, I’ll tell you that.” Louis shakes his head. “Worst neighbor I’ve ever had, knocking on the walls at 4 o’clock in the morning.”
“Not all of us sleep like kittens, Tommo. You’ll get used to it eventually!” Niall says, unphased.
“Anyways, you’re both coming?” Maya asks, checking her pager. “You better be!”
She stares at Louis and Niall hard until they slowly nod their heads.
“Good good 8 o’clock, I’ll text the address. See you soon babes!” She says cheerfully before flitting off.
“Babes?” Louis repeats bemusedly.
“Bye bye, babe!” Niall says in a girly voice before turning with a wave.
“Fuck off.” Louis rolls his eyes.
These people are strange. Louis isn’t sure why he likes them so much.
*
“Louis William Tomlinson, I WILL write home to Fizzy and the girl to tell them about how horrible of a brother you are if you don’t put these on RIGHT NOW.” Lottie threatens.
“What’s this have to do with you, Lots?” Louis complains.
“You’re my brother!” Lottie exclaims, throwing her hands in the air. “Everyone says you’re too quiet and they aren’t learning! Go to the party and make more friends so maybe you can learn a thing or two about talking!”
“Wait, really?” Louis blinks.
“Yes, really. Now come here so I can fix your hair.”
“I thought I was a good teacher.” Louis protests. “And ow!”
“You’re such a baby.” Lottie mutters, pulling his hair into a quiff.
“Easy on the hairspray, woman! You’re going to kill my lungs.” Louis whines.
“Stop acting like a doctor for once and appreciate the fact that you look hot.” Lottie huffs.
“Thanks, I think?” Louis grimaces.
Lottie calling Louis hot was something he isn’t sure he wanted to hear.
“So who’s going?” Lottie pries, eyes bright.
“Attendings?” Louis shrugs, stepping into a new pair of pants. “‘Cept for the plastics guy, Styles.”
“Ooohh, Styles.” Lottie giggles. “I heard he was hot.”
“Oi, no sleeping with attendings.” Louis warns. “I’ll have your head for that.”
“Is that what you think of me?” Lottie cries dramatically. “I’m not an idiot, brother.”
Louis rolls his eyes. “Don’t burn down the house while I’m gone.”
“You have such high opinions of me.” Lottie replies dryly, opening the door for him. “Tell Niall I say hi.”
“I better not see Perrie here when I get back because our house is burning up.” Louis says, sliding out the door.
“Yeah, yeah, go away.”
Lottie shuts the door on his face and with a huff Louis sidles over to Nialls door.
“Niall?” He calls, poking his head in. “Let’s go, mate.”
“Ever heard of fashionably late?” Niall says, appearing from the kitchen.
“We’re already 30 minutes behind, and I’m afraid Maya’s gonna kill us if we’re much later than this.” Louis laughs.
“Give me a minute to find some shoes.” Niall mutters, snacking on crackers.
“You have the appetite of a bear.”
Niall flips him off before grabbing his keys.
“She better have drinks.” Louis murmurs as Niall turns up the radio impossibly high.
“You’re my favorite drinking partner.” Niall cheekily replies.
The drive in silence, (as silent as sitting in a car blasting music can get, that is) and arrive quickly.
“LATE!”
Maya glares at the both of them the second they step through the door, looking like deer in the headlights.
“Uh.” Niall gawks.
“Sorry, love. Some of us have to take care of the children.” Louis says with a laugh and a kiss on Maya’s cheek.
“Did you just call me a child?” Niall complains before getting sidetracked by the hors d'oeuvres.
“Tomlinson!”
Louis turns around nervously to see Zayn becoming him over.
“Chief?”
Louis braces himself, expecting the worse. His track record after the bridge collapsing had been nearly perfect, but losing Alex had been a huge blow.
“Excellent job on those hernia repairs, haven’t seen technique like that in years.” Zayn says languidly, eyeing him up and down. “Are you okay? You look a bit sick.”
“Fine.” Louis squeaks, embarrassed.
“You’ll have to show me how you did those, I need to refine my method anyways.” Zayn replies.
“Sure, I’d be happy to.” Louis nods.
“Settling in okay?” Zayn asks.
“It’s been alright. The weather has been quite nice here.” Louis says awkwardly.
“I’m talking about the hospital, Louis.” Zayn laughs.
Louis can’t help but appreciate Zayn’s jaw and beautiful eyes as he laughs. If he knew that Zayn was anything but straight he would probably have been crying at this point over how much he wants him.
It’s really a shame that he adores Zayn’s fiance so much. After two surgeries with Gigi and a couple run-ins in the attendings’ lounge, Louis has come to love her tinkling laugh and her slow, thoughtful speech.
If Louis happened to not be so gay, he would probably be falling to her feet as well.
Right on cue, Gigi sways over to Zayn’s side with a smile.
“Dr. Hadid.” Louis nods.
“C’mon Louis, it’s Gigi.” she laughs.
“Gigi.” Louis corrects himself with a small smile.
“So, the hospital?” Zayn nudges.
“Oh, it’s been alright. Lottie says I need to teach more, so.” Louis trails off, looking down.
“You’ll get the hang of it, mate. Just takes a while. Especially with these interns, rowdy bunch.” Zayn replies, clapping him on the shoulder.
Louis can’t help but agree, thinking back to how they’ve acted the past couple of days. He feels bad for Irwin, he realizes. Louis’ job as chief resident wasn’t nearly as hard as what Irwin is dealing with.
“Irwin is good.” Louis muses. “Excellent with patients, would do well in general.”
Zayn shakes his head. “Trust me, I’ve tried to get him into the department. The man’s heart is set on ortho, though.”
“We don’t have an ortho department, do we?” Louis frowns.
“Kind of.” Gigi shrugs. “Nothing fancy, though. Would be what he needs.”
Louis sighs. “Fucking shame, that kid has some real talent.”
Zayn opens his mouth to reply when a silence seems to rush over the room.
Louis frowns and turns his back around to see where everyone is staring. A tall man walks in, and Louis can’t help but want to roll his eyes.
It’s obvious that this is the prestigious plastics surgeon Dr. Styles, who seems to be quite full of himself as well.
As much as he hates it, Louis has to admit the man is quite attractive. He’d compare him to someone like Adonis, but Louis won’t get ahead of himself. Styles does look rather Greek, according to his nose and face shape.
Louis is more than happy to continue talking to the Maliks (he’d grouped them together because at this point it was like they were already married) like nothing ever happened, but Adonis wordlessly commanded all attention in the room.
“Don’t mind me.” Styles purrs. “Do go back to talking.”
Louis turns around, fully intending to do what he said, (which in hindsight- ew) yet no one moves until Niall barks a happy “Styles!” and the room seems to break.
Louis ignores the new surgeon, ducking around to see the people he knows. After a lengthy conversation with Perrie and her partner Jesy, Louis decides to head off to the table full of wines.
“Dr. Tomlinson.”
Louis has to resist the urge to roll his eyes at Styles’ dramatic introduction.
“‘S alright, you can call me Louis, mate.” Louis replies mildly, turning around.
Styles holds himself rigidly, coldly staring. Louis isn’t an ortho specialty, but it doesn’t take much for him to know Styles’ back must be screaming by how tightly he moves.
“So. You’re new here?” he goes on, completely ignoring Louis’ comment.
It’s not really a question. Louis almost wrinkles his nose in disgust.
“That I am.” Louis smiles through the pain.
Louis budges past Styles, hoping to end the conversation. He grabs a glass of wine (white wine, he despises red) but almost immediately regrets taking a sip.
“Not up to your standards?”
Louis turns around, surprised, to see Styles waiting there expectantly, brows raised and looking mildly annoyed. What a twat.
“Nothing of the sort, Styles.” Louis replies airily, laughing it off. “I’m just picky on my alcohol, you know?”
His response is so quiet, Louis barely hears it, but it's enough to set satisfaction blooming in his chest.
“It’s doctor.”
Louis has to restrain himself from smiling, knowing he hit a nerve. So he has to be called doctor. He can work with this.
Louis aims to be as professional as possible with his coworkers, but he thinks he might have to let this slide.
The man made his presence known since the day Louis started working, and he won’t forget it. His pretentious speech and cold demeanor sets Louis off, and drives him crazy. The arrogant bastard annoys him more than anyone else he’d even known and he hasn’t even spoken more than 30 words to him. And besides, what type of person takes personal days and then refuses to come in for a trauma?
Sure, maybe it’s better if Louis would just be cordial, but if he’s being honest, Styles deserves it.
“Cheers, Styles.” Louis says with a smirk. “It was...nice to meet you?”
His last words are posed more as a question than a statement, but Louis could care less. He just wants to get drunk on some good beer before work tomorrow and these hospital people most certainly don't have it.
“Nialler!” he barks, weaving through the throngs of people to find him.
What better option than the connoisseur of beer himself? Though he hates to admit it, Niall truly is a great drinking partner.
Instead of Niall, however, in the corner of the room he sees Maya sipping a glass of rose thoughtfully, regarding the people around her.
“You throw a pretty good party.” he greets, stepping close to be heard over music.
“Thanks. I really try.” she shouts back, a sarcastic smile on her face.
“Any idea where Niall is?” Louis asks, gesturing to the doctors around them. “I need to get drunk on some proper alcohol.”
He laughs apologetically at Mayas rolled eyes, scanning the room. His eyes stop at the stormy face of Liam Payne, and his blood almost runs cold. Almost.
Because of course, the fucker is jealous of him, as usual. The man really needs to get a fucking move on.
Louis murmurs a quick “never mind” to Maya and slides across the room to Payne.
“Payno, mate.” He smiles fabrically.
Payno. Really, Louis?
Liam grunts in reply, looking anywhere but his face.
“Let’s take a walk, yeah?” Louis pushes on, steering him into the hallway.
They step out and he leans against the wall, arms crossed with a scowl.
“What do you want, man?” Liam says dryly.
“Look, about Maya-” Louis begins.
“What about her.” Liam cuts him off.
Liam’s looking downright deadly at this point. Should he fear for himself?
Louis swallows nervously before continuing.
“I know I’m new here and everything, but there’s obviously something going on between you two, right?” Louis asks carefully.
It may be more of a one sided relationship, but Louis refrains from mentioning it.
Making friends, Louis thinks. That’s what I’m doing .
Liam stares at him silently, jaw clenching.
This man really needs a class in body language. Louis can read him like an open book.
On the other hand there’s Styles…
Louis shakes his head, focusing back to Liam.
“Right. Well, she’s my friend and everything so-” Louis continues.
“Your friend?” Liam grinds out.
Oops.
“Right. So, all I’m saying is that-” Louis tries to brush over it.
“Your friend?” Liam repeats, zoned out. “Because it doesn't seem like it. I saw you over with her in the corner, all huddled together.”
Louis can’t help but muse that he vaguely sounds like a primary school boy, concerned about whose talking to his little girlfriend.
“She’s all you ever talk about, ‘Louis this’, and ‘Louis that’. I’m sick of it!” Liam continues, voice rising in volume. “What’s going on?”
“Liam-” Louis tries again.
“Just say it out loud, bro! Don’t be such a wanker and get on with it.” Liam roars.
Louis’ cheeks heat as he hears the music stop.
“C’mon, now! Out with it!” Liam continues, oblivious.
“She’s not-” Louis replies, voice rising.
“Are you sure?” Liam taunts. “Sure about that?”
“I’M GAY, PAYNE.” Louis shouts.
Liam’s mouth drops open and red paints his cheeks. Louis pants loudly, unsure why he’s so winded by his confession.
With a shake of his head, he turns to leave the hallway.
“Louis…” Maya whispers as soon as he opens the door.
Because of course, of course the room is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. So quiet that every single senior staff member of Edith Hospital just heard Louis Tomlinson scream about his sexuality to their long respected co-worker.
And of course, of course, Harry fucking Styles stands in the middle of the room, a stupid smirk on his face, eyes full of curiosity.
Louis desperately wants to wash his stare off of his body.
He smiles awkwardly, gathering his stuff. Louis is ready to cry with how much he’s dying inside.
“Excellent party, love.” He says quietly to Maya, kissing her goodbye.
The room has picked up again, but Louis can feel the awkwardness in the air.
Yep, it’s time to go.
He waves half-heartedly to Niall, who looks slightly bemused. Fucker.
And then he’s off, off into the chilly Edinburgh air, where Louis feels lost and alone and so many other dark and horrible things.
He misses home, he misses his girls, he misses the sweet people of Doncaster. He misses feeling like he belongs .
He misses it all, but he’s here now, he’s here and he can’t leave. No, because it’s too early and because Lottie, he can’t let her down. She deserves a future and Louis knows it’s going to be bright. So Louis decides that it’s okay, it’s fine that he’s sad and alone, because after all, it’s what he does best.
Yet as he climbs into bed later that night, he can’t help but wonder. Is this what he wants? Is surgery even right for him? It’s such a strange thought and Louis knows he’s being stupid, he knows he’s just embarassed from earlier, but he can’t let it go. It’s like his heart is a puzzle and Louis can’t find the right piece to fill it in. But the more time that passes, the more pieces that are falling away. Louis knows he needs to find them as soon as possible.
*
He gets a dog. A stupid decision, really- he doesn’t even know if his apartment allows pets (probably not). But Louis is lonely and he needs a friend.
The dog is big and shaggy, waddles around everywhere and is constantly happy to see Louis everytime it turns around.
Lottie is thrilled by the present, cooing and petting at it constantly, already promising to get it a special collar, name engraved in it and all.
They decide on Clifford, after much conversation. The doof of a dog never stops ambling clumsily around, a large, black, mop of fur wreaking havoc everywhere.
Upon meeting Clifford, Niall immediately proclaimed the dog his spirit animal, bear hugging him and feeding him copious amounts of treats soon after.
Louis complained the fucker was going to make his dog fat, but he secretly found joy in the way Niall adored him, basking in the approval Niall gave of his rash decision.
Not that he regretted Clifford, he found the lad was quite a nice companion on his morning runs, and Louis quietly found peace in the way that Clifford would curl up in his bed at night, content with lying silently on his chest, taking up all his personal space. Not that it mattered, and though Louis wouldn’t admit it, he missed having a warm body next to him in bed.
And so Louis was content, for the time being, besides the one constant man that would bug Louis with even the slightest eye contact.
Because Louis couldn’t stand the way Styles’ eyes would meet him, the green irises laughing with joy by Louis just standing there. His whole body made fun of him, and Louis’ own betrayed him, jaw set and eyes cold.
Louis tries to be nice, he really does, but the pompous git destroys him in as many ways as possible. It’s like Styles can’t step away. He ruins his day in the smallest ways, and Louis hates that he gets under his skin. He can’t stand the twat, and he doesn’t even know him.
Quite the recipe for disaster.
But he and Lottie show up for work without question, each and everyday, and he performs to his wit’s end. Sometimes Zayn has to force him to go home, holding suspension over his head like it’s candy (but Louis knows Zayn would never , he’s far too valuable).
“Only 12 hours today, Tomlinson, or I’ll have your neck.” He threatens with a smile as soon as he walks in.
“Aye aye, captain.” Louis salutes with an eye roll.
The man is practically the moon, and yet he doesn’t realize. Louis is moved when he looks into his eyes, an overwhelming sense of clarity coming to mind. He holds calamity like no other, with the reassurance of few. He feels honored to work under him, work with him. Zayn is art and he even speaks like it. Louis would quite like to paint him.
God, he’s so gay it hurts.
“Orphic.” Louis accidentally blurts out, desperately trying to pull himself out of his thoughts.
“What?” Zayn asks, confusion drawing over his face.
Louis purses his lips. He doesn’t like the negative lines on Zayns face. He isn’t sure how to explain himself, especially after his confession at the party.
“Orphic. Adjective, mysterious and entrancing; beyond ordinary understanding.”
Louis turns around quickly, redness already painting his cheeks, to see Styles staring curiously back at him.
“It seems Dr. Tomlinson is an artist.”
Louis opens his mouth, furious, before stopping himself.
Styles understands his words.
“You understood.” Louis frowns.
It seems his game has been found out, and he may be in trouble.
“You’re not the only one who finds it difficult to describe the beauties of the world in the methodical language we speak.” he replies drily, yet interest once again flashing behind his brilliant eyes.
Louis turns around without another word, determined to shovel himself out of the mess with Zayn.
But of course Zayn isn’t there anymore, and Louis almost hears his chiming laughter echoing the halls.
“Great.” Louis mutters, bracing himself for the worst out of Styles.
“Come, Dr. Tomlinson, I’ve been told to fetch you to the ER.”
Louis has to force himself not to roll his eyes. Styles makes it sound like fetching him is the last thing on earth he’d ever want to do (it’s mutual) but Louis can’t stand how little respect he has.
He turns wordlessly and walks on the other side of the hall from him, thankful when Maya turns the corner and falls in step with him.
“Morning Tommo.” she says sleepily.
“Not much of a morning person, eh?” Louis can’t help but laugh.
He can tell she would flip him off if she could. He buys her a coffee on the way down, figuring if it was an case Styles would have said so.
Yet all he does is stand thoughtfully in the corner, quietly frowning and tapping his foot anxiously.
Which only pisses Louis off more, of course, but he simply ignores him, turning on his heel and following Maya down the hall.
They’re almost to the ER and Louis can hear the overlap of several voices, Payne’s distinctive one giving distinct orders, when Styles finally speaks, directly to Louis.
“Duende.”
Louis turns around, confused. He drops his hand from the door that Maya’s just gone through.
Styles stares at him impassively.
Duende. Louis had only learned the word a couple weeks earlier.
The mysterious power of art to deeply move a person.
“Is it the power of art or the power of the person? I’d like to think that it’s more. ‘M not quite sure how I’d describe it.” Louis replies out loud.
And of course that makes Styles stick out his lower lip in a pout, in a pout , disappointed.
Louis moves into the ER with a shake of his head, but can’t help but be mildly curious. It’s strange that he can understand him. Louis hates that it has to be him of all people.
There’s a gaggle of teenagers in the ER and Louis almost vomits in his mouth.
Ew.
He turns to Maya, to find her eyes glued on a very bored looking Payne, so he stares at him instead.
Payne notices him standing with her and Styles, Zayn and Gigi sashaying in a couple seconds later. He nods barely at him, but Louis preens slightly, delighted to earn his respect, though it’s at the cost of revealing his sexuality to the whole bloody hospital.
“Hello, I’m the head of trauma here at Edith Hospital.” Liam says drily. “Yes, my last name is Payne, like pain, haha very funny.”
Louis has to pinch the inside of his wrist to keep himself from laughing wholly out loud. He practically feels Zayn’s glare on his back but can’t help it. Maya’s body is shaking with laughter and even Styles has a small smile on his face, his eyes dancing with joy once again. And this time, it isn’t even at Louis’ expense.
Not that he cares. Not at all. (I hate to do A/Ns but shore Louis, shore.)
Liam shows the kids (who Louis assume must be from some sort of science program) around the ER in a quick and controlled manner, anxiously tearing his eyes away from the ambulance bay, where he seems to waiting for something.
“What’s he waiting for? Didn’t think there were any traumas today.” Louis murmurs to a very distracted Niall, currently eating scones (again) as if they were nothing.
“Slow down, bro. You’re gonna choke.” Maya grimaces.
“Bro.” Zayn chuckles. “I like it.”
“Yeah, bro.” Louis snickers, looking at Niall. “Stop eating.”
“He’s looking at the bay because he wants something to save him from children. Such a shame.” Niall shakes his head sarcastically. “You’d really think he would love them.”
“That man really needs some love.” Maya snorts. “I’m dying here.”
“Everyone needs love.” Louis replies mildly.
He’s running on about 3 hours of sleep and a bucket load of caffeine, which generally makes him quite wistful.
Styles makes a small sound which sounds like disagreement, and Louis turns to him with narrowed eyes.
“Everyone needs love,” he says carefully. “Especially those who may not deserve it sometimes.”
He didn’t mean to make it sound like an insult, but it kind of came out like one.
Oops?
Styles’ mouth sets in a hard line and he turns away from Louis.
With a shrug, Louis turns back to Maya, and they amuse themselves by pointing out little thing about the children Liam is leading around in a merry circus. And maybe Louis and Maya are more of the kids, but no one needs to know that.
Liam brings the kids back to the entrance of the ER, fully ready to throw them on Gigi, who is going to take them to radiology.
“My name is Dr. Hadid, but you can just call me Gigi.” she smiles. “I’m going to take you up to the room we have so that we can check out everything that’s going on inside of you. Pretty cool, right?”
They all nod and seem happy enough, and Louis is just wondering whether he would have time to grab some lunch before his shift with the kids (watching them in the surgery bay was his part of the deal- not going to be fun), when one of them drop in the middle of the pile, straight to the ground.
Which of course sets all hell and a couple of well-chosen swear words loose from Louis’ mouth.
And then they’re all backing the kids away, yelling desperately for a gurney and trying to take his pulse.
“Out of the way, he isn’t bleeding, mate.” Louis says roughly, pushing Styles out of the way.
“That’s my patient!”
All of the attendings turn to stare at him while Liam is ordering around his staff.
“Dr. Styles…?” Zayn asks.
“He was in here, for a couple burns when he was younger.” Styles gestures wildly. “I know him!”
Maya steps back and nods. “Lungs and heart are fine.”
“Is there a teacher somewhere?” Niall asks seriously.
All humor is erased from his face and his eyes are narrowed.
Gigi nods and steps off to find him.
“Give me something, Styles.” Louis asks. “Name? Anything?”
“Hayden.” he replies, brows furrowed.
Louis fills with glee, knowing Styles is ready to correct his words, but he turns back to the boy.
“His name’s Hayden. Complained of a stomach ache this morning but didn’t want to miss the field trip.” Gigi reports, reappearing.
She bends down and lifts his lids, shining a light and checking his irises.
“Responsive.”
Louis kneels down and feels along his abdomen, touching around for firmness.
“How is he?”
Louis frowns. “Styles, let me do my job, yeah?”
Harry stares at him coldly.
Hayden comes to, immediately flinching in pain.
“Hey, mate. This hurts?” Louis asks gently.
The boy nods and for a second, looks alright, before vomiting blood straight onto Styles’ shoes.
Louis would laugh if the situation wasn’t so serious.
“Someone prep the OR for CT and Harry, tell the parents.” Zayn orders. “Gigi, get the rest of the kids going.”
“Zayn-” Styles starts.
Louis rolls his eyes and makes sure that Hayden is okay in the gurney.
“Back off mate, you two don’t get along and he’s better off with Niall.” Zayn argues quietly.
“He’s my patient!” Styles yells.
“Styles-” Niall warns, pulling on his scrub cap. “He’ll be fine.”
“Fine.” he spits, stalking out of the room.
Louis ties his scrub cap back neatly with a raise of an eyebrow at Zayn.
“He gets attached.” Zayn shrugs. “Do your best.”
“Right.” Louis mutters, walking in to scrub.
“He’s a bit of a tool, yeah.” Niall agrees. “Good with the moms, though.”
“Work with him a lot, then?” Louis asks.
“Yeah, a fair bit.” Niall nods. “Why the sudden interest? Like him?”
“Nothing of the sort!” Louis replies indignantly. “You’d ask too if someone had a total meltdown.”
“Right.” Niall laughs.
Wanker.
They finish scrubbing and work carefully and quickly, yet safely as possible. Louis is just getting into the groove of things, when the OR door bursts open.
“Wait!” Styles yells.
Louis starts, and Niall almost drops his suction.
“Styles, what in the hell is your fucking problem?” Louis roars. “I could’ve very well killed him! Malik took you off the case. Get out of here! I’m working on a clock!”
“Just...wait.” Styles pants, winded. “He’s allergic.”
“What?” Louis snaps, turning back to his work.
“Doctor Tomlinson, step away from the patient!” Styles thunders.
Louis turns around again, ready to release a very offensive string of words.
“Just wait a minute, Tommo.” Niall says quietly.
Louis waits silently, jaw set, as Styles carefully walks closer and checks the contrast dye Louis is about to inject.
“To this,” he says calmly. “He’s allergic to the contrast dye, it’s in his files. I pulled them, there was just something wrong…”
Louis opens his mouth, unsure what to say.
“We need to open him up, then.” Niall says, ignoring the awkward silence. “C’mon lads!”
God bless Niall Horan.
And then they’re opening the patient up, scoping out the damage and working around it. It takes hours until they close, and Louis refuses to leave a single stitch out of place.
Styles personally offers to close Hayden, doing so without leaving a mark.
It’s only when they’re scrubbing after the surgery that Louis even manages to say one word to Styles.
“Tell me about your scrub cap, it’s new, hm?” Niall asks cheerfully, all seriousness worn off.
“A peacock.” Styles explains. “To express myself.”
“A peacock to express yourself.” Louis repeats drily, not believing his ears.
“I’d like to think I’m like one.” Styles nods.
“Beautiful and all that, eh?” Niall barks, falling into a fit of laughter.
Louis ducks his head down, biting back a comment.
“Au revoir, my darlings.” Styles calls to the remaining OR staff before turning to Louis and Niall. “And have a lovely night, subjects.”
It’s not until 5 minutes after Styles leaves that Louis realizes he was referring to himself as a king.
Arrogant twat.
Heather (Guest) on Chapter 1 Thu 18 Feb 2021 07:32PM UTC
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