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That was it. Yuri now knows that he has feelings towards his friend and roommate, Victor. He doesn't know when it all started but, he likes him.
Should I confess? He asked himself. But then, he doesn't want his friendship with Victor to break, and he doesn't know what Victor would feel if he's going to confess. Will he be disgusted because a guy, specifically his best friend, likes him? Or does he like someone else?
Negative thoughts ran through Yuri's mind as he doesn't know what to do at this point. He suddenly feels something on his throat as if he's going to vomit. He immediately went to the bathroom and went to the toilet. Petals covered with blood went out from his mouth instead of something else. His eyes widened as he saw what he just puked.
No. It can't be. I thought that thing is not real. Yuri thought to himself. He feels another batch of petals coming out, and he lets them.
When he feels okay, he thought of going to the doctor and check it if it was what he thought it is.
And his guts are right.
The doctor himself confirmed that he has the Hanahaki Disease. It is a disease where the victim of unrequited or one-sided love begins to vomit or cough up the petals and flowers of a flowering plant growing in their lungs, which will, in the end, develop adequately huge to deliver breathing unimaginable whenever left untreated. The doctor told him that there are two options to get rid of the disease. One is that the person you love should like you back. And the other one is a surgery, but when the surgery is performed, your feelings for the other person will be gone forever.
Yuri is shocked when he heard the options. And the first thing that comes to his mind is that he won’t do the surgery. He wants his feelings towards victor to remain.
Yuri panicked as he went back to the dorms. He was glad that Victor is not yet there. He went to his room and threw himself into the bed.
What should I do? Victor will never love me back. It's impossible. And I don’t want to do the surgery either.
So many thoughts wandered on Yuri's mind as he immediately felt nervous when he heard the main door opened.
"Yuuuuri! I'm home!" Victor yelled as he placed his shoe on the shoe rack and went inside. Yuri didn't answer as he's still lost in his thoughts, worried about what he should do.
He immediately composed himself as he sensed that Victor opened the door and went inside his bedroom.
"Yuuuuuri! I have something to tell you!" Victor said with his hearty smile as he sat on Yuri's bed. Yuri then knew that it is something great whenever Victor pulled off that face. He mentally prepared himself as he signaled Victor to continue.
"Remember that girl I told you? The one who I always talked about to you. I asked her out earlier, and she said yes!" Victor exclaimed as he then hopped around, feeling so happy as he finally has a girlfriend.
Yuri couldn't accept it. Sure, he did remember that girl Victor always talked about. But the man still can't believe that they're together now. He feels like it's finally the sign that Victor couldn't be his.
Yuri still managed to fake a smile and looked at Victor, "Congrats Victor! I hope you guys will stay strong.”
Victor looked at Yuri. Then he noticed his friend's state. Eyes that looked like he hasn't slept, disordered hair, and glasses that are not placed properly.
"Yuri. Are you okay?" he asked him. Yuri suddenly realized his appearance but he just nodded.
“Don’t worry, Victor. I’m alright. I just don’t feel well today. I just needed some rest. Of course, he won’t tell him the actual truth. As if Victor would probably believe him.
Victor is not convinced of his friend’s remarks but he just lets him, since he knows that Yuri doesn’t want to bicker. He sighed, “Alright Yuri. I’ll go out now and you should take a rest. I’ll make you some porridge since it’s your favorite!” he said as he went out of the room.
Yuri sighed heavily as he is now alone in his room. He felt like crying. He wanted to tell Victor how he feels. But he doesn’t want to ruin their friendship, especially now that Victor has a girlfriend.
He felt the familiar sensation on his throat again and immediately went to the bathroom. He let out all of the petals as he realized that he is now crying.
What a life.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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5 Years Later…
Victor prepared himself. He wears his shirt and jeans, and he paired them with his favorite coat. He then combed his hair and wears his shoes.
He gets his car keys and went outside his house. He drove to a flower shop and bought blue roses. After buying the flowers, he went to the location where he planned to go and parked his car.
He went out of his car, didn’t forget to bring the roses and went to his best friend’s place.
He then saw the gravestone with the carvings:
Yuuri Katsuki. 19xx – 20xx.
Victor places the flowers on top of the gravestone and smiled.
“Hey, Yuri. It’s been 5 years since you leave me here alone. How are you? I’m pretty sure you are doing great up there.”
“I’m sorry I couldn’t save you that time.”
5 years ago, Victor went to the dorms after having a date with his lover. He was standing frozen as he saw Yuri lying on the floor with petals covered in blood.
It took seconds for Victor to move and went to Yuri. He immediately called for an ambulance and he holds Yuri.
As they were taking Yuri to the hospital, they were minutes late. Yuri didn’t make it on time. Victor felt devastated as he heard the news of his best friend passed away.
He also knew Yuri’s situation at that time when the doctor explained it all to him. He felt horrible to himself as he didn’t know about Yuri having that deadly disease.
Days passed after the funeral, Victor went back to the dorms and felt sad as the dorm feels gloomy now that Yuri’s gone. Victor went to Yuri’s bedroom. It was clean and organized, as that is how Yuri is. He smiled sadly as take a look at his friend’s room. He then noticed a piece of paper on the table with Victor’s name attached to it.
Out of curiosity, Victor then picked up the paper and read what is written on it.
“Victor. Hi.
If you’re reading this, I’m probably gone right now. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you the truth. I have this disease months ago when I realized my feelings towards you.
Yes, Victor. I like you.
I know you won’t be able to reciprocate my feelings, especially now that you have a lover. That’s why I decided to avoid you so I won’t be feeling worse.
But oh boy. I was wrong.
Even after avoiding you, I feel even worse. I kept on puking these petals. I considered taking surgery, but I still decided not to. Yes, I know I’m stubborn. But I won’t do it, especially knowing that after the surgery, my feelings towards you will be gone. Forever. And I don’t want that to happen.
Victor, I am really sorry.
But please. Promise me one thing.
Live your life. Be with your lover. Love her with all of your heart, marry her, and have a family with her. Have children and grow old together with her. Don’t you ever dare to hurt her, okay? I’ll be watching you from above.
And please, don’t blame yourself for my death. I chose this path. It’s my fate.
Thank you for all of the memories we had since we were young, Victor. I will forever treasure them.
Goodbye. I love you.”
Victor didn’t notice that he was already crying while reading the letter his best friend left for him. How? How could he not notice everything?
That’s why Victor decided to do his promise to Yuri. He finished his college degree and had a job. And of course, he’s still with his lover until now and they’re now married after years of saving up.
They now had a son. Victor decided to name him Yuri. His lover didn’t oppose the idea, as she is also aware of the situation that happened between her husband and his best friend. But that didn’t make her love him less, she loved her even more and supported his husband’s decisions. Victor also did the same thing towards his wife. They may have some fights as it is normal for couples, but they still fixed it in the end.
Victor stayed at the cemetery for a while, since it is Yuri’s death anniversary. Victor reminisced all of the memories he had with Yuri. All of those sad and happy moments, and all of those fights and bickers they had.
He smiled while thinking of those times. Those times where Yuri is still living in this world. He sometimes wished that his friend is still alive but he knows that it’s better for Yuri to be gone now, as he doesn’t want him to suffer anymore, knowing that he really won’t be able to return Yuri’s feelings towards him.
After a few minutes, Victor decided it’s time to go home. He looked at the gravestone one last time and walked away.
Arigato, mata ne, Yuri.