Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian
When the ceiling came down before him, Wei Wuxian tried to contain the flutter of his heart as well as the need to jump back. Wen Zhuliu had been flying towards him, Wei Wuxian had been ready to end the bastard's life then and there, but now, Wen Zhuliu was strung up by Zidian instead, with Jiang Cheng behind him.
In front of Wei Wuxian however, stood none other than Lan Zhan himself, back straight, posture perfect as ever, Bichen unsheathed and stretched out in a threat as if to protect him. His heart gave a twinge he didn't want it to give, and he suppressed a bitter snort coming up his throat. All those times in the burial mounts where he had thought his protector in mourning white had come to get him out, or was just there, at least. In the feverish moments of his deepest nightmares, where he heard Lan Zhan's voice singing to him...
But no. No, he had not come or been there. It had been three months and here he was. Here Wei Wuxian had been, breaking himself out. Clawing to his goal with broken bones, bruises and splintered fingernails.
His fist clenched around his new flute, and he pursed his lips, trying not to say anything. Bitterness and resentment still swirled in his mind, and he pressed it all down. No. Feelings wouldn't help right now. He still had things to take care of.
Wen Zhuliu was struggling, but certainly not getting out of that grip, and Wei Wuxian had to admit to himself that he admired how vicious and vengeful Jiang Cheng looked, brandishing Zidian like it was second nature. At least his little brother had had time to practice, he supposed, fighting in this war.
Seemed like his core was serving him well, then...
Next thing he knew, Wen Zhuliu was dead, crumbled to the ground like he was an unimportant paperweight. Jiang Cheng was coming over, tossing something to Wei Wuxian that he only caught out of pure instinct.
"Your sword," were Jiang Cheng's first words to him. Wei Wuxian couldn't help but smile at Suíbiàn, weighting it in his hands.
It was so damn heavy that he wanted to cry.
"Thanks," he said, carefully not really putting any tone into his voice. It was useless now, anyway. No sword would accept him as its master anymore. All he now had was his flute. No, it was all he needed.
"You prick," his brother said with a sneer that didn't quite reach his eyes, which rather almost seemed teary. "Where have you been for the last three months?" he bumped Wei Wuxian's shoulder, like he had so many times before. Wei Wuxian flinched, luckily able to disguise it with a nervous laugh. Not that he wasn't nervous about discussing this particular topic, so it was only a half-lie, really.
"It's a long story," is all he said, smiling but knowing it also didn't reach his eyes. "It's a long story..." he repeated, and felt himself drifting off in his thoughts to those deep dark places that have been filling his mind and very soul. He knew his gaze was hooded, his eyes probably red rimmed, and he swallowed thickly, trying to get rid of the violent thought spiral.
So he didn't see Jiang Cheng's worried gaze, not really, but he felt arms suddenly closing around him in a hug, tight and brotherly and so warm.
It overwhelmed him so much that he couldn't respond immediately, instead swallowing again and looking anywhere but at his little brother, who was squeezing him like he actually did miss him or something. If he was honest, he probably hadn't felt this secure and whole in months now, and maybe this was the first time since that...fall, that anyone living actually touched him. But he tried not to let his thoughts dwell on this, didn't know what to do, really, because dealing with the fact that Jiang Cheng clung to him like this was something he hadn't been prepared to deal with when he stepped into this room. Hadn't been prepared to deal with period.
Again, a shallowed laugh was repressed in his throat. Nonsense. The way Lan Zhan -Lan Wangji, now?- was staring at him, he was probably severely pissed because he knew what Wei Wuxian was doing with his flute and Jiang Cheng only acted on old memories alone, not being able to help it.
But the way he suddenly felt his brother's breath on his neck and how he clenched the fabric on Wei Wuxian's back made it feel more like Jiang Cheng was honestly clinging to him and maybe, just maybe, he lifted his own hand to return the hug.
It was instinct, surely, not his fault, he didn't actually give himself the illusion that this meant anything, right?
Surely you know he doesn't actually care. It's not like they looked for you all these months.
Three months...
He felt his hand touch his brother's lower back, his sword still in his hand.
A sudden ripple of energy made him gasp.
Gold and warm, his own golden core answered to the energy of his sword in his hand. It flared, probably not even noticed by Jiang Cheng himself, but it was such a sudden burst of pure, golden energy that Wei Wuxian felt himself freeze at the onslaught. He hadn't touched or felt any spiritual energy in over three months now, and the unexpected familiarity was overwhelming him.
Suddenly, he felt everything, every tiny bit of hurt he had suppressed inside, so he could even stand upright and walk and talk and do anything, really, especially this fight. He had been careful about not moving too much in too exaggerated ways, held himself expertly upright with his hands behind his back or on the flute-
But now....
Now he felt his knees crumble and the ground coming closer. He heard his flute and Suíbiàn hit the floor with an awful clatter when his grip slipped.
And then everything was darkness once again.
Notes:
So, what's your first impression? :) I'd love to hear from you. I know this one is rather short, the others will probably be longer. I'll give an estimate that I'll probably surpass and say this is going to be around 30k words. Fingers crossed I'm somewhere close to there...
Chapter 2: Remember the pact of our Youth
Summary:
Jiang Cheng deals with his brother fainting, and we say bye bye to Wen Chao. LWJ is worried about his husband in the background. From here on out we're in full AU territory.
Notes:
Omg people thank you for all the feedback!! I didn't even get down to answering all your comments during the week :3 (Will do tho!).
Anyway, new chapter! I'll try to stick to a weekly schedule but I'm not making any promises. I'm about 2-3 chapters ahead with writing, which is a comfortable pace for me for now but stress at work or smth might derail this. The chapters will get a bit longer over time, this one's already 2k, the next one's about 3k xD.
Oh yeah! And I decided on Song lyrics from the 'Achilles come down' song for the chapters. This one I thought was v fitting for JC ;D
We're moving on with Jiang Cheng's perspective yaay. Please enjoy :)
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Cheng
Jiang Cheng almost missed his brother collapsing before it was too late.
"Wei Wuxian!" he gasped, his arms tightening again just in time, even though he had just started to let go of the hug. Now, his brother's legs had given out under him and he lay in his arms, dramatically draped, and definitely unconcious.
"Fuck" Jiang Cheng mumbled, forehead creased in worry his heart in a twist as he looked up to Lan Wangji just to see an actual expression on his face.
"Wei Ying!" he said, so belatedly it must have been some kind of thought spiral he had come out of with a jolt. His eyes were wide and even Jiang Cheng was able to see that he was more than just worried.
Luckily, his brother wasn't heavy. To be honest, Jiang Cheng got even more worried at this because he certainly used to be! Well, he had always been skinny, but he had also always been muscly, lean, and certainly not so light that he could probably scoop him up and toss him over his shoulder with ease if he wanted to.
Instead, he slowly leveled him to the floor, supporting his lolling head, his own hand immediately detaching from Wei Wuxian's back and holding his finger under his nose. Because honestly, he looked so pale that for a second, Jiang Cheng's heart had skipped a beat, and he had feared the very worst. A shallow breath met his fingers, making him relax a tiny bit.
Hanguan-Jun was immediately opposite of him, on his brother's other side, kneeling with a flurry of white robes, like draping them gracefully around the floor was the most natural thing in the world. Sometimes he hated this guy. As if he didn't want to touch Wei Wuxian too much, probably also thinking he looked far too breakable and like death, Lan Wangji reached for his wrist instead, feeling his pulse with two of his other fingers.
"It's racing." he said in his one-sillable-at-a-time kind of way. Jiang Cheng felt his jaw clench, and he raised his own hand to pat his brother's cheek slightly, trying to wake him up. Indeed, when he pressed his finger to his neck after this got him no reaction, Wei Wuxian's pulse was fluttering rapidly as if he went for a run not too long ago.
Jiang Cheng's thoughts were galloping in a similar rhythm, the worry inside him spiking even more. Hanguan-Jun was lifting his finger to his own forehead now, a pale blue light appearing at his fingertips and he tilted it down again, pointing it at Wei Wuxian's wrist to give him spiritual energy. Jiang Cheng was about to do the same on the other side when a whimper from the other room stopped him.
Oh.
He had completely forgotten about Wen Chao.
It only took this one reminder for the familiar rage inside him to bubble up again. Images of Wei Wuxian being whipped in front of him, him having to leave his brother trapped in a cave with a monster because Wen Chao retreated. The body of his parents in front of their own throne, hand in hand...
His wrist closed around Zidian and the whip flared to life, while his gaze remained on his brother's still form, so pale and looking like death. His teeth clenched even more and he was on his feet in the next second, tearing his gaze away and striding over to Wen Chao in the corner, who had now begun to lift his hands in surrender.
"No! No, please, forgive me, I didn't...I didn't-"
"Shut up, you bastard.", Jiang Cheng hissed, lifting the miserable figure up by the front of his robe with his left hand. He was truly hideous, with his burn wounds all over his face and head. Good.
"What did you do to my brother?" he groaned, his voice so low it was more like a growl. He needed to know. Now. Before he ended this guy's misery for all time.
"H-him?" asked Wen Chao and Jiang Cheng only narrowed his eyes and made his grip tighter as an answer. "Look what he did to me!!" Zidian gave a noise that showed Jiang Cheng's impatience. Wen Chao cowered under it. "I...we... we just did him a favor!" his hands were up to both sides of his head, pleading for innocence. Jiang Cheng felt his teeth grit again, was certain one of these days they would crack under the pressure.
"A favor?" he hissed, not believing this guy's gull with Zidian zapping his side, ready to strangle him just like he had just strangled his bodyguard. "What. Did. You. DO?"
Finally, Wen Chao swallowed, then laughed nervously.
"Oh you k-know, the usual. JiaoJiao wanted to play with him, I voted to kill him. She won that round." The way he spoke so fondly of his dead girlfriend made him wonder if Wen Chao knew that she was dead and how she died. He tried not to think of that foul woman who had her brother whipped by Jiang Cheng's own mother right before the Wen bitch had them all slaughtered. Those were scars Wei Wuxian was probably still dealing with when he disappeared... But Jiang Cheng wasn't going to bring that up, his thoughts rather racing at the thought of Wei Wuxian being captured and how Jiang Cheng had probably missed him by only minutes. Not to mention what 'playing' probably meant for that bitch...
"And then???!" Jiang Cheng yelled right in his face, aware that he was being loud and obnoxious but really not caring one bit.
"We threw him into the burial mounds. I...I don't know how he's even here. That place....even flying above it, you don't dare going down any further in case it tries to grab you, you know?!"
Jiang Cheng felt his knees go weak, but he stabilized again, whirling around, breath catching in his throat. The look of shock must have been written clear on his face, because he saw it mirrored on Lan Wangji's. But Wen Chao seemed to be experiencing an awful lot of sudden clarity, because he lifted his burned hands to grab at Jiang Cheng's arm, really looking at him now.
"Hey wait, I remember you. Jiang Wanyin, right? Didn't we melt your core? How come you-"
But he didn't get further, because Jiang Cheng unsheathed his sword and rammed Sandu into his heart right down to the hilt.
Wen Chao never finished his question.
There was a silence only cut through by the last gurgling sounds Wen Chao made, then it was complete. Jiang Cheng didn't even look at him when he pulled Sandu back out, cleaning the blade on the bastard's cloak. His gaze was far away, his mind reeling with all information he had ever heard about the burial mounts, with images of his brother being held up in front of Wen Chao, with his brother falling into darkness... The burial mounds....A dark place, so reviled that nobody was supposed to have ever escaped it. Where the Yin Iron used to be housed, where it was split apart...
He slowly turned around to walk back to the other room.
"He could have given more intel.", Lan Wangji said, but his voice sounded like he didn't really agree with what he was saying, either. It was also probably the longest sentence from this guy Jiang Cheng had heard all day.
"No. He has talked enough.", Jiang Cheng only said, the venom clearly still in his voice. To his surprise, Lan Wangji now only nodded, gaze dark and flickering back to Wei Wuxian.
"I don't think it's helping.", Lan Wangji finally concluded, ending the transfer of energy, brow furrowed in confusion and obvious worry. And there he went also showing more emotions than he had all day.
"That's weird." Jiang Cheng heard himself say, but his mind was still not fully there. He finally shook himself free, sheathing his sword and blinking rapidly. Something suddenly very urgent came to his mind.
"He needs a doctor.", he decided and walked over to the window with steps so sure he didn't know where it came from. He calculated. They could return to Lotus Pier, it was very much closer. But A-Jie was in the unclean realm, and she would kill Jiang Cheng if she found out about this via a letter or god forbid, found out about it in any other way if something actually terrible does happen to Wei Wuxian. Also, they did get this mission from Nie Mingjue so they should probably report directly to him and they were needed on the front after they got back...
"Lai Ping! Liu Tu, Come up here!" he yelled, disturbing the silence of the courtyard where the others were waiting stealthily outside. Obviously, their stealth was over now, there were no Wen left to be a threat to them. So his warriors and then the other Lan warriors appeared out of the shadows. Several made their ways up the stairs at once and just a few seconds later, the room was filled with a mix of Lans and Jiangs, but most remained outside as a guard.
"Da-Shixiong!" several of them gasped. "You found him!" "What's wrong with him?", came several Jiang voices. He had brought a few people that had survived the massacre -by sheer luck of being on a night hunt- and still knew Wei Wuxian. As always, they had been more than eager to search for him. Jiang Cheng tried not to be bitter about the fact that Wei Wuxian was still the favorite, even after everything he did as a clan leader, now.
"Silence", Jiang Cheng barked, and it was immediately followed. Maybe he wasn't the favorite, but he was in charge. Of course, the Lans had remained quiet, but their questioning gazes towards Hanguan-Jun were telling of their own confusion and astonishment. Jiang Cheng pointedly ignored that Lan Wangji was holding his brother's wrist as if checking his pulse and defintely not as if he was holding his hand. This had as a consequence that he did not see Lan Wangji visibly pale, eyes widening and staring at his brother for a very long moment, before steeling himself back to an impassive expression. The hand around his wrist was held extra tightly though, suddenly shaking almost visibly. But Jiang Cheng had other things to concentrate on right now than Lan Wangji's non-existing facial expressions, so he turned to the people that entered.
The two Jiang he had commanded to come up stepped forward, eyebrows raised in question at what he wanted, after their salute to him.
"Remember the Wen woman we freed in the dungeon in Yiling?" he waited for their nod. "Please track her down. She's a very good doctor, Wei Wuxian needs one."
"You want to get help from a Wen? Surely there's doctors in the nearby village? Or back home? Or at the Unclean Realm?", Liu Tu asked. Jiang Cheng understood her question, of course. Just not long ago, the Wens had slaughtered almost everyone in their home. Wen Chao wasn't even cold in the corner yet and Wen Zhuliu was in a heap right next to where they were all standing. It didn't even cross his mind how he had committed two murders today, there was no regret on that front.
"Yes. She can be trusted. She and her brother have helped us many times, even against the orders of ...other...Wens. Let her meet us in the Unclean Realm." Liu Tu and Lai Ping now both nodded, bowed again and were soon down the stairs and into the night on their swords.
Jiang Cheng tried not to think about how he regretted what he said to Wen Qing in the dungeon already, and that maybe a second chance at a talk would be great. No. This wasn't about his silly, pointless feelings that would not lead anywhere anyway. This was about Wei Wuxian. Those two had gotten along, right? Well, who hadn't Wei Wuxian gotten along with? Shaking off this train of thought, he turned around, about to kneel down to get his brother up, but Lan Wangji was already on his feet, carrying Wei Wuxian with one hand behind his knees and one supporting his shoulders.
Jiang Cheng blinked at the sight, the way Lan Wangji, ever graceful in all white, carried his brother so casually, as if it was nothing, as if he even kind of clung to him, and carefully draped his head on his shoulder so it wouldn't loll back. He had a quick sense of deja vu, thinking about the same sight after they got them out of that cave, Wei Wuxian feverish and half-dead with a weird sword clutched to his chest and Lan Wangji with a broken leg but still carrying him.
"Um. Okay, thanks.", Jiang Cheng just said before any weird comment could slip past his lips. Hanguang-Jun only nodded, tightening his grip. Leaning down, Jiang Cheng picked up his brother's sword and flute, putting both into his belt. The flute gave off some weird kind of smoke, but besides feeling very polished and slippery, it didn't feel unusual.
"Let's go.", Jiang Cheng said and turned to the others.
"Clean up this mess. Regroup in the Unclean Realm.", he ordered his Clan members, before turning around.
"As he said.", Hanguang-Jun ordered his own people, his tone curt and short, as always.
Then the both of them disappeared into the night.
Notes:
Da-Shixiong - First Martial Brother (by rank)
~~
Hope you liked that! I wanna talk a bit about the changes
Because WWX fainted (this time lmao);
1. LWJ can't yell at an unconscious husband (+added bonus of worried LWJ). This all lowers his anger a bit, but not fully as you'll see later
2. Wen Chao spilled the beans about the Burial Mounds and got killed a bit more quickly (might regret that later lmao)
3. Wen Qing is back in the picture! Yes, JC changes his mind about letting her go v quickly but she's important to this story working as a fix it and also i want her there.
4. No detour to Yunmeng. I actually thought about this a lot but it just didn't make any sense and I need them together in the Unclean Realm. Pls don't come to me with logic about travel distances, this is the creative move i decided to make ok??Also I just like JC being worried about his bro. Listen, I have a lot of feelings about all of these characters and this is how I cope. Thanks for reading through my coping tho <3
Iiiif you're into angst and want more of my writing, I actually wrote a one-shot about Wangxian + Angsty dreams if you're into that. Also if you want, join our discord server about MDZS <3 https://discord.gg/u7UwbUZJf4
Okay, see you next week!!!
Chapter 3: The self is not so weightless
Summary:
Lan Wangji has an inner struggle...or several, as they arrive in the Unclean Realm and Wei Ying gets the help he needs. Wei Wuxian continues to be unconscious, Jiang Yanli is perceptive but keeps it together and Jiang Cheng is clueless. Nie Huaisang arrives and is a nosy binch.
Notes:
Thanks for all the feedback again! :3
This one was a lot of fun to write, LWJ's inner workings are fascinating. I hope it comes across in character.
Yanli gets the status of BAMF elder sister in my fics and she does not deserve any less. I will fight you on this.
Oh yeh pls don't slander me for my Chinese names, I'm trying my best x'D. I might change them as I go if I'm told one of them's like, really not good. Feel free to tell me!!
As promised, this is longer. As I corrected it, it became even longer sooo yeah hope you like it lmao
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji was rattling off rules in his head. Normally, this is what made him manage to calm down. Normally, it would distract him enough to be able to function regularly and keep a straight face through pretty much all situations.
But not today.
He felt as if his head was about to explode.
Not from anger, no (not solely at least). But the sheer maelstrom of thoughts and emotions in his mind that he took away from what had just happened was enough to make him desire to be back in Gusu, where he could meditate and reflect and push it all back down.
But no. He was in the air between Yiling and Qinghe, flying on Bichen, and there was Wei Ying, unconscious, in his arms, head on his shoulder. Pulse racing, thin, and very, so very, pale.
His mind wandered back to the instant not long ago, where he had collapsed so suddenly. Wangji had tried to give him energy, had noticed that this seemed to not work in the same way as it had in the caves of the Túlù Xuánwǔ. He had heard from Wen Chao, with shock, where Wei Ying had been, had apparently survived, and looked back down to him. Disconnecting his spiritual energy, he had deeply frowned at him, willing him with just his intense stare to please wake up. But no, something else was wrong, he could feel it.
So he put his hand to Wei Ying's wrist again and felt for his spiritual energy flow, tracking his meridians to the centre of his system, to his golden co-
Just to find nothing. Well, nothing like a core at least, but what he did feel was a swirling whisp of hate and the hunger for revenge trying to reach back to him and he had severed the connection as if he had been burned.
He had started shaking, then, his face slipping in anguish. His eyes darted between Wei Ying and the guy lying not far from them. Core melting hand...
No.
No, this wasn't happening.
Practically clinging to Wei Ying's wrist now, Wangji felt the rhythm of his breathing increase. He could not panic here, because suddenly the room was filled with other people, his own and Jiang Wanyin's. There were several questions and Jiang Wanyin said something about a good doctor, and Wangji found himself not really listening. Doctor....yes, good. He probably needed one, right? Without a core...
His stomach gave a twist like he was about to throw up.
Barely getting it together, he had grabbed Wei Ying close, trying not to just hold him and start to weep. This was not the time. They had to get him to help and he needed to see if he was right or if Wei Ying's core was just really low on power. That could happen, right? One could exhaust themselves completely and then it could probably feel like that person's core was gone. But the core melting hand was right there, and he was practically always with Wen Chao so it wasn't a stretch to assume that he had been there too, when they had captured Wei Ying...
His mind reeled trying not to think about what else they had done to him before they dumped him into the burial mounts without a care.
'We did him a favour', Wen Chao had said. Wangji's teeth clenched so hard it made a crunching sound. He wished, suddenly, that Jiang Wanyin hadn't been so efficient in killing those two.
In his arms, Wei Ying was oozing what his rational mind could only identify as resentful energy. His jaw clenched even more at the implication of this as the wind rushed past them.
Wicked tricks, Necromancy, whatever you wanted to call it...he vividly remembered that time that Wei Wuxian had argued with Lan Qiren about using resentful energy. Or when he had said to Lan Yi that Yin Iron could be used for good...
He seriously felt like punching something.
Wangji's hands were keeping Wei Ying's form as close as he rationally allowed himself to hold him. It was to keep him from falling off, Wangji told himself. It was definitely not because he was panicking and his secure grip on the person he was definitely not in love with was the only thing keeping him tethered and his stance on the sword from slipping.
Burial Mounds...Wei Ying had been in the Burial Mounds...
Wangji had only ever heard of this place from tales, knew from first or second hand accounts how its dark, looming presence seemingly hung over even the towns close by, that were several kilometres away from the thickest, worst part of it.
Three months...
'It's a long story', was all that Wei Ying had said, when Jiang Wanyin had asked. Wangji had been about to press him, confront him about the use of clearly unconventional, if not unorthodox, forbidden, methods, when instead of continuing the conversation, Wei Ying had suddenly collapsed.
And then Jiang Wanyin had forced that confession out of Wen Chao, and so now they knew and also had so many more questions and also Wangji wished he didn't know, all at the same time.
He had been about to actually be mad at Wei Ying! Had wondered what he would have done to Wen Zhuliu had they not jumped in. Or why he hadn't dodged the man's grip for his golden core. But now...now he felt the guilt inside himself at this thought process poke at his own insides. He had been about to explode at a man who was clearly traumatized, by all he could see right now probably in multiple different ways, and had put his singular focus on revenge for his family. Maybe this had been what got him out of that place, revenge could be a powerful motivator.
Wei Ying hadn't dodged, because there was no golden core for Wen Zhuliu left to melt.
Then again, why had Wen Zhuliu reached for it when he had melted it out of him? Shouldn't he know how fruitless that move was? Wangji felt like he was missing something and in the back of his mind, Wen Chao's words were an echo, something he'd said right before he died that slipped Wangji's mind right now, because at the time he had been reaching for Wei Ying's golden core in that second and had not paid as much attention. His stomach still churned at how the resentful energy had tried to reach out for him, to grab him and pull him in. And for just a second he wondered how this feeling had changed Wei Ying, what it was like to have this darkness whirl inside you instead of golden, pure, spiritual energy.
But he was still Wei Ying, Wangji kept telling himself, still the boy whose smile had made Wangji first unable to look away from him and then unable to keep him out of his mind entirely. At some point he had given up to try and just resigned himself to being more of an idiot than he ever thought himself to be for not being able to achieve this simple task. Because Wei Ying had probed at his expertly built walls as if they weren't even there, invaded his personal space and boundaries and then when he was gone, Wangji had fucking missed that. It had been touch and go with his own decision to declare himself insane when in some crazy circumstance, they had found themselves in yet another cave together, alone, this time actually in danger, and -
Well let it be said that Wangji was pretty sure it wasn't just a silly boyhood crush he had been festering.
"We will go right to A-Jie. No objections.", Jiang Wanyin suddenly said beside him. They were finally approaching the Unclean Realm and Wangji only nodded, not even sure if the other looked at him for confirmation. They had started their flight in the early evening and he could see slivers of the sun coming up over the horizon. Wangji felt his own exhaustion from flying so fast and so long creeping in, but he was not about to say anything about that and could see that Jiang Wanyin was also clearly still fine. For a second, Wangji puzzled at this. He couldn't remember Jiang Wanyin being so powerful, last time they had been together.
Wangji had in fact no objections to this 'order' from Jiang Wanyin. As far as he had heard, Jiang Yanli took care of many wounded and was in charge of administrative actions in the infirmary, so he considered it a good choice to go to her directly, even without the obvious emotional, family bound reason that Jiang Wanyin had behind it.
They landed, the guards saw them, saw Wei Ying, and immediately let them pass, hopefully not even offended at their lack of proper greeting. Wangji had to do some adjustments to his grip so he could sheeth Bichen, and then tried to step carefully so not to move his charge too much. It was difficult, because Jaing Wanyin was setting a fast pace that he tried to follow, sensing his companion's urgency in his own bones. It was weird, that throughout this pretty long sword ride, Wei Ying had not stirred once, in any way. Wangji recalled vividly how restlessly Wei Ying always sat or even meditated or slept, his fever-laden sleep in the cave very well-preserved in his memory. This was not the same. In fact, he had never seen Wei Ying move so little ever since the moment they first met. Wangji tried to bite back the shiver that went up his spine because of this observation.
Finally, the courtyard with the wounded was reached, luckily not far from the entrance. With their hurrying steps they were probably a sight they saw often, but what certainly got everyone's attention was Jiang Wangyin yelling;
"A-Jie!" across the whole place, not bothering to stand still to search for her first. Wangji would normally complain for him to be quieter, this is where the sick and wounded were being placed and cared for, but he also understood how Jiang Wanyin was feeling, so he kept his mouth shut and the criticism from his face and instead looked for the eldest Jiang sibling in the crowd of beds. Their entrance might have been dramatic and unnecessarily loud, but Wei Ying wasn't moving and Wangji's heart was stressing, and so he supposed a little drama was fine.
Several heads whipped around, but despite a few verbal reactions, the loudest was a gasp from around the middle of the courtyard. Wangji spotted Jiang Yanli and saw how her gaze was immediately on Wei Ying in his arms, and how she had completely forgotten about the man she had just been tending to on the bed next to her.
"A-Xian!" Jiang Yanli yelped, louder than Wangji has ever heard her speak.
She hurried over to them immediately, right after whispering something to another nurse, probably for her to take over her duties. Then she was brushing right past Jiang Wanyin, only briefly acknowledging his presence with a slim smile, before she was right in front of Wangji, stretching out her hand to her brother. Wangji lowered him a little bit, as he had been clinging to him very tightly and Jiang Yanli was not as tall as him. He let Jiang Yanli turn Wei Ying's face towards herself, examining his eyes, feeling his forehead, then roughly roaming his upper body for wounds.
"He seemed fine, but then he just..." Jiang Wanyin stopped, now also looking at Wei Ying again. "...collapsed." he finished, voice unusually small. He lowered it so only the two of them could hear, hopefully, "A-Jie, they threw him into the Burial Mounds."
Jiang Yanli had her hand on his wrist, only nodding at what her brother said, her eyebrows knit together and then rising when she heard the last part, but continuing her examination.
Wangji knew exactly why she suddenly froze.
The oldest Jiang sibling had always been pale. But right now, so much color drained from her face that she looked like she was about to faint, too.
"No..." she whispered, choking on her own words, her lip quivering. She looked up as if in search for help, first to her brother, but then immediately to Wangji.
Wangji held her gaze and nodded, once. He had felt it, too. It was probably one of the first things they checked with new patients, it was most likely on pure routine that she had done it here. But she had noticed, and there was no way to unfeel this. Jiang Yanli apparently understood his nod, because she drew in a sharp breath and closed her eyes, making tears fall as she held her hand in front of her mouth.
"A-Jie? W-what's wrong with him?" asked Jiang Wanyin. He sounded so young all of a sudden. Well, he was. They all were. Wangji looked over to him and back to his sister, who had her eyes closed still.
A quiet sob, then she opened them again. She looked around, noticing the stares they had on them and seemed to decide something.
"Follow me.", she said, voice firmer than before. Wiping the tears away, she whispered something to another nurse, then vanished through the door behind them and the two men followed her without another glance back.
Luckily, the way to the Jiang private chambers was short. Lady Jiang instructed Wangji to put Wei Ying on the empty bed in the corner here as she closed the door behind them. Wangji complied, though he was more reluctant to put Wei Ying down than he would like to admit. He had been clinging to him and felt it was probably the closest he was going to get to hugging him to himself in this situation. Because he really, really wanted to. To just hold him and never let go. To protect him from further harm for all eternity.
But no. Instead, he lay him down carefully, holding his head until it touched the grey pillow and moved his legs into a proper position. He couldn't bring himself to fold his hands, suddenly thinking that with how pale Wei Ying was and how still, it would look too much like a corpse on its final resting place. The thought alone made his stomach churn.
"Wei-Xiong!" a voice rang through the hallway outside, cutting off his morbid train of thought. Wangji recognized the voice, but his eyebrows knit together. This was not the time for his shenanigans. So before Nie Huaisang even knocked on the door, Wangji was already glaring at it, standing up slowly and keeping a respectful distance to Wei Ying's bed, even though everything in him wanted to sit and hold his hand.
"Yes, come in," Lady Jiang said gracefully, her face seemingly indifferent and still gazing over to her brother on the bed. She walked over to sit beside Wei Ying and Wangji now stood close to them both, between Nie Huaisang and the bed, Bichen in his hand again. He knew, that the man was no threat to them, but he still felt like he needed to shield Wei Ying nonetheless. After exchanging bows, first to Jiang Wanyin, then his sister and Wangji himself, the younger Nie brother hurried into the room, not bothering to close the door behind him.
"Wei-Xiong! I heard you brought him back. Is he okay?" Nie Huaisang asked, craning his neck to look at Wei Ying on the bed. His voice wasn't as loud as previously, but still loud enough that Wangji's glare didn't subside. Jiang Wanyin seemed to kind of agree with him, as he punched Nie Huaisang in the shoulder.
"He's unconscious, what do you think?", he hissed. "How about you bring a doctor over instead of asking stupid questions?" Nie Huaisang pulled a face but only hit Jiang Cheng back with his fan.
"Ayaaa, don't be mad at me. I was worried, too.", he grumbled. Jiang Yanli only smiled at their antics and Wangji wondered how she went from crying to being so friendly in such a short time.
"Calm down, you two. We thank you for your concern, Second Young Master Nie. A-Cheng, a doctor is already called." she soothed both of them, and they seemed to relax as she put her hands on both their upper arms. It was only a few seconds after this that someone indeed knocked on the side of the open door carefully, politely not wanting to step into the room unannounced.
"You called, Lady Jiang?", asked a gentle voice. Jiang Yanli smiled at the person, a young man not that much older than they were, as it seemed and greeted him with a bow. The others in the room followed.
"Zi Yu, please come in. My brother needs your assistance. He has collapsed after returning from three months of horrid conditions and possible previous trauma, almost right after our Clan had been attacked and he had received several whips to his back with my mother's whip. Though I believe he has recovered from these in the weeks after, I'm not certain it didn't have an effect on the following ailments." she explained all this in a very calm voice that Wangji wouldn't be certain he could be able to pull off himself right now, as this full list made him look over to Wei Ying again, that feeling of wanting to hug and shield him returning with a deep viciousness. A newfound admiration for Lady Jiang bloomed in his chest, but he was soon distracted by what she said. He did not want to interrupt Jiang Yanli's talk with the doctor, however, so he swiftly walked over directly to Jiang Wanyin, coming to a stop right outside his personal space.
"Wei Ying was whipped by your mother?" he asked, not really trying to keep the venom from his voice. "Why?" he felt his hands tighten around Bichen at the mental image, shooting a quick glance at Zidian around Jiang Wanyin's wrist. If Wangji had thought that Jiang Wanyin would look mad at him for mixing in things that didn't concern him, he appeared to be very wrong. Because the young clan leader looked nothing but guilty and full of sorrow. He swallowed, not being able to meet Wangji's eyes, or anyone's. Nie Huaisang had his face hidden behind his fan, but clearly listened, curious about this himself.
"She had no choice. That foul woman made her. Wen Chao's girlfriend." Jiang Wanyin said quietly, raising his own hand and looking at the spiritual weapon himself. He seemed to be deep in memory, his eyebrows drawing together and Zidian giving up little sparks as his fist shook slightly. "I tried to stop them, but they held me back. Then that bitch said they should cut off Wei Wuxian's hand and mother-"
"Can the young masters wait outside whilst I examine young master Wei, please?", asked the doctor in this gentle, patient voice he had. He was wearing Nie robes, so clearly one of the Nie's own doctors. Wangji tried to remember if he could recall any renowned Nie doctors with a Zi family name. Jiang Yanli seemed to trust him though, so he guessed it was acceptable. His jaw clenched at the thought of having to wait outside, but he complied. He also tried to flush down the irrational amount of jealousy that came up for this young doctor going to undress Wei Ying. That was not an appropriate thought, and he knew this, but he could still not help having it, if only for a second. So he only nodded, humming a quiet 'Mn', before turning away and waiting outside the door.
For a second, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes, trying to press down the feelings and mental images that this last short conversaton had pushed to the surface. It was early in the morning and they had flown through the night. Of course, as cultivators, they could go without sleep for a while, but he still felt the hunger and exhaustion creeping in, in addition to the exhaustion of his spiritual energy. He wondered, briefly, if he should pull Jiang Wanyin aside and tell him about his brother's core. But something stopped him, a hole in his gut that was only filled by information he had flowing in the back of his mind and the thought that maybe this wasn't his secret to share.
Talking behind other people's back is prohibited, he justified himself in his silence.
Nie Huaisang, apparently more observant than Wangji often gave him credit for, spoke up as soon as the door was closed behind them.
"Should we get you two something to eat? Tea? I feel like a terrible host and you two look exhausted.", he suggested, tapping his fan against his chin. Jiang Wanyin groaned, driving his hands across his face. He looked like Wangji felt.
"I don't feel like eating." he sighed. Wangji nodded, silently agreeing. He could still feel his stomach rumbling with many of the things he had experienced today. "But I probably should. Can we bring something for A-Jie to eat later? And for Wei Wuxian when he wakes up? He looks like he should eat his weight in meat or something.", he asked, finally deciding for the probably reasonable and healthy path. The joke about Wei Ying's weight didn't go unnoticed to Wangji and he silently agreed, nodding once. Wei Ying had been so light that it had really been no trouble for Wangji to carry him in his arms all night. That had not been the case the last time, no matter his broken leg.
Of course, it was also true that they needed their strength. They could not afford to mope and mourn right now, they were needed on the battlefield. Missing one night should not hinder them to return to assist their allies and their mission had been completed now, after all. They should also probably report to Nie Mingjue at some point soon. Wangji looked to the door, where he could hear Jiang Yanli and the doctor speaking quietly.
"Of course. We can set it up in your rooms. Oi!" Nie Huaisang spoke up, folding up his fan and waving over a servant that was walking by. He gave some quick instructions, listing off some foods and teas and the servant only bowed and disappeared again. "Should arrive soon", he declared. Both he and Jiang Wanyin only nodded. Nie Huaisang looked between them curiously. He seemed like he wanted to ask them further, but wisely decided against doing so. So they stood in silence for a bit.
In Wangji's head, Jiang Wanyin's words about the woman he called Wen Chao's girlfriend replayed in his mind. This had also been the woman responsible for the brand on Wei Ying's chest. Apparently, she had also tried to get his hand cut off. He vaguely remembered seeing her among the recovered dead that they had found in the Yiling Superiority office. That meant that Wei Ying had killed her, right? With whatever method he had used on those others outside, too. He remembered the smoke coming off of him, the darkness whirling inside him and the changed talisman papers that now instead attracted spirits. He couldn't find it in himself to feel sorry for the woman, not after what she'd done to Wei Ying and his family. These methods however...
He's torn out of his thoughts by a gasp from inside the room and the uttering of 'Oh A-Xian'.
Before her could catch himself, he had torn open the door, Bichen at the ready, and stepped into the room. His heart was fluttering and he had been sure there was something to fight here, something to defend Wei Ying from-
The two by the bed jumped at the sudden noise, but Jiang Yanli didn't take her eyes off of Wei Ying on the bed.
So Wangji also dared to look.
That was a mistake.
He felt himself falter, his eyes wide. He wasn't even ashamed or scandalized at the sight of Wei Ying's bare chest, because what he actually could see was leaving him shaken enough:
Wei Ying's skin was littered in several places, with deep, multi-colored bruising in different stages of healing. He was thin, so thin that his marred skin was stretching over his ribs that were clearly visible, as well as his collarbone. The Wen brand on his upper chest looked worse for wear than it had when they left that cave, with a fresh line of burn through it that might even be infected, if the swelling and puss was any indication. All of this had been hidden under the usual layers, probably intended for nobody to see until it was healed. And with no core, how long would that even take? How much was still hidden-
"I told you to wait outside.", the doctor's voice was firm now, less pleasant.
"I thought-" Wangji started, but he stopped himself and forced his eyes to blink, to tear themselves away. The hunger he had started to feel had now disappeared completely. He suddenly felt cold, and was certain that no blanket would help that feeling go away. The hand around his sword shook until he stilled it with a clench.
"Excuse me.", he bowed deeply, then quickly disappeared out the door and down the corridor, hoping that none of them saw the tears in his eyes starting to form.
He didn't know how he managed to find his rooms in this chaos swirling in his mind, but when he arrived there, he slammed the doors closed and felt his knees finally give in. Sliding down the other side of the doors, he felt the hot tears make their way down his cheeks and closed his eyes. His mind tried to calm him by starting to recite rules again. It did not work, not this time, with the image of Wei Ying's malnourished and abused upper body so fresh.
In a world that was just, how could this happen? Most important of all, how could it all happen to the person most dedicated to justice and helping others that Wangji had ever known? Wei Ying's words as they had let the lanterns fly were often on his mind, but this time he asked himself where he had gone wrong, what Wangji could have done differently and what could have happened to prevent all of this. He felt like he was missing information, not seeing the whole picture of why and how Wei Ying was now where he was, and he felt like he was drowning, somehow, in sorrow for the things that could have been. Should have been...
"Lan-Xiong", a voice on the other side of the door sounded, together with a soft knock. It was Nie Huaisang and Wangji considered for a second to just not answer him. He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, but the tear tracks on his eyes were now dry. However much he wanted to though, he couldn't ignore the Nie heir in his own home coming to Wangji's rooms to tell him something. It was already bad enough that he hadn't gone to report to Nie Mingjue yet. Also, Wangji noticed, it was probably visible from outside that he was sitting here, with his back against the door, and he suddenly felt ashamed at his own lack of composure.
Do not sit with a disgraceful pose.
So he wiped his face with his sleeves and answered in a hopefully stable voice:
"Yes?", he asked, trying and failing to steel himself against all the things Nie Huaisang could be telling him now. His eyes closed and breaths kept deep on purpose, he listened. Had Wei Ying gotten worse? Had he-
"Wei-Xiong has woken."
He was on his feet faster than he had thought possible.
Notes:
No, I will not apologize for that last scene. Our boy needs a hug but LWJ does not get hugged (until later?? ;D).
I hope you enjoyed it despite the angst :) No it does not get better immediately. But eventually. Tell me your thoughts, would love to hear them!
Until now the weekly thing works, but I barely got to write this week, so I really have to pull it together lmao. I'll try and participate in Camp Nano with this fic tho so that should propel me forwards! Wish me luck ;D
Next chapter: Yanli discovers things WWX probably doesn't want her to know, and we have two (2) or three reunions (tm). Also there's food (WWX needs it).
Chapter 4: Nor whole and unbroken
Summary:
Yanli discovers a lot she did not know, Wei Wuxian wakes up, we have our lover's quarrel (beginning) and last but not least - Wen Qing!
Notes:
Hello, my dears! Another week has passed and we go from depressed Detective Wangji over to loving BAMF Yanli, who just wants what's best for her bros. Yes, people are more perceptive about the core thing in this fic because it always bothered me how just nobody noticed. It's a theme in this fic soooo :D
The title of this chapter is the lyric continuation of last chapter's title, so together with JC's chapter title they go "The self is not so weightless; Nor whole and unbroken; Remember the pact of our youth" :) I liked the thought of WWX's three closest people making up this paragraph in the song and thought it was v fitting!
I'll stop talking now. Yes well now pls enjoy!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Yanli
Yanli didn't know what to do.
That sometimes happened, sure, but most of the time, in her life, she knew what needed to be done. Usually, there was someone to help, somebody to support, a letter to be written, a talk to be held, something.
But as she stared at her brother's chest now, with her younger brother standing in the doorway, frozen to the spot and Lan Wangji storming first in and now away with an expression as heartbroken as she had ever seen him, she had not a single clue. Zi Yu was now leaning back, asking her to hold A-Xian upright. Probably to bandage his chest, since....since he had discovered that some of his ribs were broken.
"A-Cheng." she chided, her voice gentle but firm. Her brother blinked, finally tearing his gaze away from A-Xian's chest to look at her, meet her eyes, swallow thickly and then close the door again, staying on the other side like the doctor had asked them to. She really felt for him. Of course, she, too had felt a certain mix of emotion upon seeing her brother's chest so marred with scars and bruises. With his core missing, it was no surprise though and Yanli wondered if this was just from the burial mounds or from something else before or after. But it didn't matter, all that mattered was that A-Xian was hurt and his ribs were broken, and they needed to be bound. So she swallowed down her discomfort and sorrow and walked over to the bed, bandages in hand that Zi Yu had brought.
She scooted behind A-Xian and held up his chest, trying to be careful with him. Her hands shook when she touched his bare shoulders and back, realizing the burn marks there were from Zidian, and she felt her lips quiver again. He didn't deserve this, any of this. How had they let it get so bad? Ever since they had left the Cloud Recess, she had the feeling A-Xian came back hurt or beaten in some way. Always, there was some explanation on his lips, always it was somehow nothing to worry about. Until he collapsed. She remembered that time after he got back from that cave, or after Lotus Pier’s fall, when these scars had started to form on his back after finally healing with Wen Qing's help. She had tried to be with him then, really did, but her own sorrow might have inhibited the extent of her care and help, words turning harsh and tearful, probably pushing him away even further and she tried to forgive herself for it. This time, she would do better, she swore inwardly.
The minutes of bandaging and disinfecting the brand mark were spent in silence between them. She found herself being glad that A-Xian was not awake for this, as probing the burn on his chest must surely have hurt, were he to be conscious. Her own mind was wandering now, trying to piece together what had probably happened since their little family had last parted. So many things were still confusing, didn't quite fit and it all seemed to center around A-Xian and his missing golden core...
"Can you lie him down and remove his outer robes? Then I would look at the rest of him by myself.", the doctor instructed, and Yanli only nodded. She had worked with him before a few times and he was a gentle enough man, but most of the time strict to business without much fuss. It was okay for her, especially in this situation it helped her to focus and not follow the thought spirals that made her want to cry again. So she did as she was told and removed A-Xian's outer robes, quietly wondering where he got these, as the fabric pattern wasn't familiar to her, and then lay them down neatly folded on a nearby low desk, leaving A-Xian in only his rich red under robes and pants. There was a pouch, too, clearly of spiritual nature. But she was careful with it, putting it on top of the robes and making sure not to rustle it too much.
"Thank you for your service", she bowed and waited for him to return it, then excused herself outside.
"A-Jie.", A-Cheng said, his voice breaking a little even on this short a word. Yanli looked around for a second, and only Nie Huaisang was there, but no other people lingered outside of their rooms. Nie Huaisang had always been a friend to her brothers, so she allowed herself to let the careful mask of neutrality slip and to wrap her arms around her brother slowly, allowing him to pull back. But A-Cheng didn't, he returned it as soon as he realized what she was doing, drawing her even closer still. For a few seconds, they had their silence and a moment of grief in private, where Yanli allowed herself to bury her face in A-Cheng's shoulder and in turn, A-Cheng buried his face in her hair. She didn't realize that she cried again until she felt the dampness of the fabric below her.
They only broke apart when they heard a servant round the corner with a plate of food in his hands. Nie Huaisang, however, shielded the two of them from view a little bit and ushered the servant in through the other door, where they wouldn't actually disturb the doctor and could set up the meal on one of the tables. She was glad for this and smiled at him as thanks.
"Lady Jiang.", she heard Zi Yu's voice from inside. It had a weird tone to it, so she frowned and put her hand on A-Cheng's shoulder to tell him not to worry, before opening the door again herself.
"Yes?" she asked, after closing it behind her.
"You are an elder to this young man, am I correct? His sister?", the doctor asked. He had started to pack his things together and Yanli was on one hand glad that A-Xian seemed fine enough to be left alone and on the other hand she wondered at his tone. It seemed careful, calculated and something she couldn't quite place. Shortly summarized; It made her nervous. So Yanli came over to him, sat on the side of her brother's bed while he sat on the low table next to it, sorting things back into his medical bag.
"Yes, I am.", she said, trying to put pride into her voice where nervousness and grief were residing before. Zi Yu nodded. She could see that he would have asked further questions, but maybe he was aware enough about their recent family history to be tactful enough not to pry. "Why do you ask?", she found herself inquiring further, not being able to stand the tension. Her hand automatically reached for A-Xian's on the bed, searching for support and reassurance even in his unconscious state.
"Has he had any mayor surgeries done in the last months?", his voice was still guarded, careful. Yanli found herself frowning, looking at A-Xian and back at the Doctor.
"What do you mean?" she hesitated when he looked on, waiting for a proper answer. "No, he hasn't. Not that I know of. As far as I am aware, after we parted he was captured by the Quishan Wens and thrown into the Burial Mounds. My brother met him soon after he escaped."
Zi Yu looked pensive for a moment, nodding along.
"Ignoring how impossible that sentence sounds, it does explain a few things. The bruises, the scars, the Wen mark burn and most importantly; why he is practically oozing resentful energy."
Yanli gasped. "Resentful energy?", she whispered. Surely, the burial mounds were probably full of it, many ghosts, spirits and other creatures roaming the cursed land. But why would A-Xian be oozing it? Did he internalize it? She glanced him over and indeed, when she squinted, she could see a thin sheen of black reaching out of his skin in irregular intervals. How had she not noticed before? And how was this doctor not fazed by this? She would have assumed that any cultivator would be antagnonizing A-Xian when they realized this, but this Nie doctor seemed more put out, or sad, in a way.
"That is not why I called you back in however," the doctor continued. He walked over to the bed, sat beside Yanli and pulled down the covers over A-Xian. Then he opened his robe, too, in careful movements, and exposed his abdomen.
There, she saw a long, very straight, clearly surgical, scar.
It was well healed, for a wound that would have probably been pretty big to begin with. It was also running straight down from A-Xian's belly button to the hem of his trousers.
Where his golden core would have been.
Yanli found herself gasping and felt the blood drain from her face. Her hands around A-Xian's were shaking now as she looked up to make eye contact with the doctor, barely being able to keep from crying again, or from screaming, at what her head was assuming this meant. She found herself silently pleading for him to tell her anything else, any other cause this could mean.
"I'm sorry to tell you, Lady Jiang, but young Master Wei has lost his golden core." he gave the gravity of the sentence a second to breathe, before he continued on. Jiang Yanli felt more lost than ever before on this day, pressing A-Xian's hand so tight she thought it might hurt if he were conscious. "Not just lost, I think it was operated out of him. I'm not entirely sure if with his consent or not."
"Operated..." she whispered, not being able to breathe normally anymore. Her lip was quivering, but she managed to speak again "Why would anyone...How?"
Zi Yu looked thoughtful, grave.
"It must have required great skill, I'm certain. I have never heard of it being done before, or even possible. But here it is, the evidence is very clear. I have seen the work of the Core Melting hand before and this is not what that looks like. His core was cut out with a precision unparalleled to anything I've seen." he shook his head and Yanli noted that he looked impressed, almost, and she would be mad about that, if this situation wasn't giving her more and more anxiety and she didn't feel very close to a panic attack.
"No.....oh no. Oh heavens...", she whispered, tears finally falling again.
Because in her mind, the pieces were being set into place.
A-Cheng had lost his core, melted by the Core Melting Hand, never to regain it. A-Xian had researched in Win Qing's library, known for its medical knowledge, the Dafan Wen were known doctors all over the cultivation world. Wen Qing's specialty was the golden core. A-Xian had found something, 'something that could save Jiang Cheng', and then he had sent his sister away and done that thing, and told Jiang Cheng that he had regained his core. But Wen Qing had told them that this was impossible and Yanli was certain she had never heard of a person struck by Wen Zhuliu regaining their core before.
A-Xian had lost his core and A-Cheng had gained one miraculously.
It wasn't hard to do the math.
Yanli felt herself wishing she wasn't able to count so well.
She lifted her hands, still holding A-Xian's left in hers, and put the back of his hand to her forehead, feeling the first sobs come out of her.
A-Xian had given his core to A-Cheng.
He had literally carved out a piece of himself to save his brother, save their clan. Yanli remembered her father's words and in a bitter thought, she felt like strangeling the man in the afterlife. Right after, probably not even recovered, A-Xian had been captured, tortured and thrown into the burial mounds to die.
She knew Zi Yu was patting her arms to calm her, knew that her sobs were too loud and only tried to stifle them when the door opened and A-Cheng came in.
Something inside her made a very quick decision.
A-Cheng couldn't know.
Of course she was aware that lying and not telling their family things was what got them here. She was all too aware that they should be talking more, even about things like this, things that hurt so much. But also, they were in the middle of a war and A-Cheng was their new sect leader and if he came emotionally undone in front of a bunch of servants (albeit next door) and Nie Huaisang, she was pretty sure the rumor mill would deliver these news to the whole cultivation world within a few days time.
But yes, she understood why A-Xian had not told A-Cheng. It made sense to her as their brother, the way this had played out. She just wished they had told her sooner, or not done it at all. But she could not turn back time, so this was what they had to live with. And before she told A-Cheng, she wanted to talk to A-Xian about it.
"A-Jie, what- is he?" A-Cheng looked so devestated at her state and the tears and the sobs that they could hear through the door that she quickly forced a smile to her face, blinking the last tears away and dabbing her cheeks with her sleeve.
"No, he is fine." she glanced to the bed and was quietly thankful that the doctor had covered A-Xian back up, wrapped his cloth around him and put the blanket back over him. "As fine as he can be.", she said. It wasn't really a lie, A-Xian was certainly as fine as can be expected after torture this severe and without a core.
A-Cheng visibly relaxed, but still looked at her, clearly concerned. She was going to lapse into some explanation or another about A-Xian having to endure such a horrible place et cetera, when the hand in hers suddenly twitched. She blinked, shocked, and her face visibly brightened.
"A-Xian!" she said, loudly, but not too loud, and she felt her other brother drawing closer to the bed. The doctor was hovering somewhere nearby, next to his sect leader's brother perhabs. She didn't really pay attention, as all of hers was now focused on A-Xian on the bed, who was starting to stir. Her fingers drew circles on the back of his hand, patiently waiting, while Jiang Cheng stood beside her, a hand on her shoulder. They didn't force him, letting him come out of it slowly, even though she sensed that A-Cheng was itching to move forward and shake his brother's shoulders until he 'opened his stupid eyes'. She was thankful for A-Cheng's restriction of his temper.
"Ugh..." came a moan from A-Xian as he slowly opened his eyes. Yanli felt herself smile, her lips curving upwards even though the shadows of tears probably still mared her cheeks. Finally, those grey eyes seemed to focus, he blinked a few times, noticed his hand being held and out of instinct, probably, flinched away from the touch. Yanli wasn't hurting him by holding onto him, but she was insistant, not letting go and therefore drawing his attention down to herself.
"Shijie...", A-Xian whispered. His face was neutral, at first, then he saw the tears on her face and his brow furrored in that way it did when he was rightously angered. As if he wasn't hurt all over, his upper body shot up and he put his other hand over hers, glaring around the room.
"Who made you cry?" he asked, voice serious, clearly a threat. "If it's that peacock bastard again-"
"A-Xian!" she chided, but she was smiling. God, how she had missed him. He was barely concious and already trying to protect her. It was adorable, but it also made her sad, somehow.
"You're the one she's crying about, idiot.", A-Cheng hissed. He leaned forward and lightly bumped his brother's shoulder. Right, he had seen the bruises on his upper body, probably realizing a tight hug hadn't been so pleasant for his brother to begin with. She hoped he didn't think that that's what made A-Xian collapse, because she really believed that probably wasn't the reason, however plausible it seemed.
"Wh- Oh.", A-Xian said, finally looking down at himself and realizing he was only wearing his under robes.
"What happened?", he asked, removing his hand from hers to scratch his head in confusion. His hair was a mess, she needed to remember to brush it later.
"You just got back and then you simply collapsed.", A-Cheng said, shrugging and crossing his arms as if this was all an annoying bother instead of the biggest scare he had had in a while. Yanli tried not to roll her eyes at them. But A-Cheng turned serious again quickly. "I killed Wen Chao", he said, with purpose, looking his brother directly in the eyes. "He told me where he threw you."
There was a pause. A-Xian seemed to take in the room, throwing a quick glance at every person present, probably assessing them for what he could say and what not, who they were to him. He finally settled on A-Cheng, then lowered his gaze to his free hand, opening and closing it. Somehow, she could feel him retreating, could feel him not wanting to deepen the topic, saw him build up a wall between them even though they were physically still touching.
"I see.", he said, brow still furrowed deeply.
The tense silence was suddenly interrupted by by the loud grumble of A-Xian's stomach.
Their eyes widened, especially A-Xian's. Yanli held back a laugh, but just barely, while A-Cheng straight up hollowed and snorted. A-Xian held his stomach, also seeming to notice the bandages on him and looked at the man he rightly presumed was a doctor, who still had the medical bag in his hands. Then he blushed deeply and looked down on himself.
"Oh. It seems I'm quite hungry.", he admitted.
"That's good! I brought food.", said Nie Huaisang, the first thing he said from behind his fan ever since he had entered the room. He had quietly watched from the sidelines, letting them have their moments. Yanli wasn't sure why he was even still here, but she knew that he had been friends with her brother, so maybe it was just concern for his friend that kept him. The young man came over, now, stepping next to the bed. "I'm glad you're back, Wei-Xiong!" he grinned and lifted his hand to pat A-Xian's shoulder gently.
Immediately, the smile disappeared from A-Xian's face and he flinched back, shoulder withdrawn and seemingly ready for a counter attack. He also now withdrew his hand from hers, and Yanli could swear she felt something sting her own hand, something sinister pushing her back. For just a split second, A-Xian's glare was so dark that she barely recognized him.
But then he seemed to come back to the present, notice all of their reactions to his withdrawal and quickly adjusted himself.
"Ahaaha. I'm glad to be back", he said, now taking Nie Huaisang's hand as if to make up for flinching back. Nie Huaisang laughed along, but it seemed awkward to her, even without knowing him well.
"Well, the food should be set up in the other room. I know Jiang-Xiong is probably also hungry, should we sit and eat?" he hesitated, looking at the doctor. "Can he get up?", he asked. The doctor nodded, now speaking for the first time since A-Xian had awoken.
"If the young master feels fit enough to stand and go out for fresh air, he shall. But I would advice against any strenious activities for a week at least." he hesitated. "I think I have done all I can so far. Master Wei", he bowed to them all in general, then to A-Xian specially. "Please come see me when you are free, I believe I might be able to help with your...ailment.", he carefully worded. Yanli frowned, and she saw the others do so as well, even Nie Huaisang didn't seem to know what he spoke off. A-Xian lifted an eyebrow, but did not answer, nodding as an answer to the bow. But instead of elaborating, the young doctor only bowed again "If you will excuse me now.", and then he was out the door.
There was a small, confused pause, but then A-Xian shrugged and lifted the sheet off his legs.
"Okay, well, let's see what you got us, shall we?", he grinned and practially leaped off the bed. Yanli wondered how long his week long 'rest' was going to take. A-Cheng shook his head, but he was smiling now, too.
"I left your sword here, remember to take it.", he said, before turning around to go to the other room. A-Xian's grin faltered and he looked on the table where A-Cheng had pointed. A long look was spent staring at the weapon, then it flickered over to the flute.
"Mh", was all he said, then he leaned down and picked up the black flute with a red charm on it, stuffing it into his belt even though he was still only wearing his under robes. He gripped it like a lifeline, but ignored Suibian completely.
Yanli felt her heart contract. She knew exactly why he did that. His flute was probably what he had used to get through the burial mounds. The sword would never be wielded by him again, no matter how much he wanted to. Clenching her fist, she caught up to A-Cheng and pulled him aside while A-Xian and Nie Nuaisang passed through the door and sat down.
"A-Cheng, go easy on him with the sword thing, okay? The doctor prescribed him rest and as long as you're all with him, he can bear not carrying it arround.", she soothed. A-Cheng looked like he wanted to protest, but she knew he had seen what his brother's body looked like, and probably guessed that it was a bit worse than she had told him outride, considering her tears earlier. So after he opened his mouth, he set it in a thin line and nodded instead.
"Okay, A-Jie. But I need him by my side sooner or later.", he said, pulling a face. Yanli was actually surprised by A-Cheng admitting as much, so she smiled, proud of his maturity in saying so.
"He will be. Just give him time to heal and adjust.", she assured, patting his shoulder. They had to stay together now. After all, they were the only ones left.
With a nod, A-Cheng considered their talk finished and decided to join the other two. Taking the fourth side of the table, in between her two brothers, Yanli also sat. She glanced over the wooden surface, impressed by what Huaisang had assembled in such a short timespan. There was a big bowl of rice and various meals, five dish sets preprared for them. As they started eating, A-Xian also seemed to have noticed this.
"Who else was here?", he asked. Not 'who's the fifth dish for?', directly to the point and precise.
"Oh, I thought Lan-Xiong was going to join, but he left.", Nie Huaisang said, waving it off. A-Xian lifted an eyebrow at his siblings. Yanli smiled at him gently but didn't elaborate, feeling like Lan Wangji might not have wanted her to spill out the details of his leave. A-Cheng sighed, rolling his eyes. He had no such reservations.
"He carried you here. I think seeing you like that scared him off.", there was a cheeky smile on A-Cheng's face and Yanli found herself hitting his soulder slightly, silencing him. A-Xian looked confused and withdrawn, and Yanli could see him close up again, uncertain what they had seen.
"Like what?", he questioned, eyes drawn into slits. Yanli sighed. She hadn't want to discuss this, but as always, A-Cheng had to be straight forward.
"He saw your bruises, A-Xiang. I think he's very worried for you." she looked over to Nie Huaisang. "Can you send for him? I think he should know that A-Xian is awake."
Nie Huaisang nodded. "Well, actually, I think I'll go myself and tell him. I need to get back to my brother anyway." he smiled, slightly bowing to all of them, looking at A-Xian. "I'm really glad you're alright. I'll ask my brother to hold a banquet for your return.", he said, then he was also off on his way.
A-Xian seemed pensive. He glanced between his siblings as if calculating something. Yanli tried to keep her face fairly neutral, not wanting him to know yet, how much of what probably went on in his mind she had figured out. Instead of looking at him directly, she took another bite from the piece of meat she had loaded onto her plate.
"Only from the bruises?", A-Xian finally asked. Yanli inwardly smiled. Some people, in their enthusiasm to chide her brother for being improper or flirty or a number of things just meaning they disliked how he wasn't quiet and meek, forgot how smart A-Xian truly was. But Yanli was always aware. It made it all the more difficult to deal with him, sometimes, when he cleverly maneuvered his way around rules and regulations, even the ones set for his own good. Right now he carefully asked around having much more hidden about himself than just bruises on his body.
"What, is that not enough?", A-Cheng snided. "You look horrible.", he said, shaking his head. Their brother had not caught up to A-Xian's meaning behind the words and for once, Yanli was glad. "Lan Wangji probably ran from seeing you and will finally stop paying attention to you like you deserve." A-Cheng grinned, wiggling one of his eyebrwos. A-Xian went with the bait for once, glad for the distraction.
"You-"
A knock on the door interrupted them. It was insistant.
"Wei Ying!", a deep voice sounded from the other side. Wow, Yanli thought. That was fast. Huaisang hadn't left that long ago. She gracefully stood and opened the door to the room they were sitting in. Over at the other entrance was Hanguang-jun, obviously trying to remain stoik but treading from one foot to the other almost invisibly. Trying to suppress a smile, she waved him over and stepped inside to let him in as well.
"Wei Ying", he said again, this time it was more of a whisper. Immediately, A-Cheng and her were apparently erased from Lan Wangji's attention. His golden eyes stared straight at A-Xian at the table, who had a piece of rice stuck to his lips and a teasing smile on his face from hitting A-Cheng in the shoulder a few seconds ago, knowing that A-Cheng couldn't hit him back because of his injuries. But then A-Xian noticed him as well, his grey eyes locking with those golden ones, and the same happened to her brother. At first, A-Xian's face fell and he looked away, unsure. But when Lan Wangji's gaze remained, unwavering, a small smile appeared there, and it seemed honest. Yanli stared, because looking back at the second Master Lan, she saw an expression there so soft and full of relief that she could have sworn she had never ever seen on his face as long as she knew him.
Oh. Oh, that's what this was. Well. She supposed Lan Wangji was as good as a marriage prospect as one could get.
It wasn't that she hadn't known before, that these two were unusually close. But it just hit her right then and there what this probably meant, in the big picture and near or far future.
She cleared her throat.
Both of them blinked as if stuck, then A-Xian started to grin. "Lan Zhan! Join us, Huaisang brought food." he gestured around the table and Lan Wangji hesitated, looking at A-Cheng. Her other brother just shrugged and returned his attention to his food, not really minding much. A-Xian had also eaten quite a bit, but strangely enough he had not touched any of the meat. This was indeed weird, as he normally ate those first and relished in it the most. She sat back down with them, enjoying the meal and how A-Xian started to chatter about everything and nothing, drawing the occational 'mn', from Hanguang-Jun. He had looked like he wanted to say several things, when he entered, with most of them being 'I'm so glad you're alright', which just seemed to flow out of himin droves. But he seemed to content himself with listening to A-Xian talk while they all joined in the conversation and ate together.
It felt...almost normal, for a bit.
"Wei Ying", Lan Wangji said, then, his tone suddenly more serious. His expression was neutral and Yanli had a hard time deciphering what was going on inside his mind.
"Yes, Lan Zhan?", A-Xian asked, there was still a smile on his face as he put more rice on his plate, adding sauce.
"Was it you who killed those Wen Cultivators outside the Yiling Office?", he asked straight out. A-Xian's face fell. A short glance was thrown towards her, then an almost murderous one to Lan Wangji. He didn't want to talk about this in front of her. Yanli admired his will to protect her from the horrors of war, but if probed would have pointed out that she had probably seen more dead and injured than he had. Then she remembered where he had been the last three months and decided not to point that out.
"Lan Zhan... Leave it. This can wait until later.", A-Xian hissed, his hands drawing into fists in his robes. She noticed how they twitched towards the flute in his belt, she was sure A-Xian was holding himself back intensely.
"What methods did you use?", Lan Wangji asked further, ignoring A-Xian's protest. A-Cheng had also stopped eating now, listening intensely, looking from one to the other. He seemed to also have asked himself these questions but not voiced them aloud.
"I said it can wait.", A-Xian pressed between his teeth, pointedly trying to concentrate on his food. Again, Yanli could see him withdrawing, his gaze going dark. Lan Wangji seemed just as frustrated, his fist balling on the table while the other clutched around his sword.
"What does your flute command?", he asked again, his own eyes narrowed. A-Xian visibly trembled now, but not from fear, it seemed to be genuin anger.
"Answer me!", Lan Wangji demanded. Yanli thought about interfering. She really should, but at the same time they seemed to have to talk about this...
"I do not have to answer to you, Hanguang-Jun.", he said in a tone so cold it cut through the tension in the room like a knife. Yanli put on a smile and was about to open her mouth to placate them both, when Lan Wangji was suddenly on his feet, Bichen in his hand.
"Wei Wuxian!" he thundered. A-Xian was still seemingly calm, smiling up at him with a tilt of the head. Yanli knew this gaze, cool, calculating. Madam Yu might not be his birthmother, but she sure raised him, in a way. Moments like these made Yanli see it so clearly that it stung a little. She assumed Lan Wangji had never had this gaze directed towards him and it seemed to unnerve him greatly.
"Lan Wangji.", A-Xian answered in a voice that was all too provoking. Oh this wasn't going to end well.
"A-Xian", she interrupted them both with a firm tone. "That's enough." she decided. She should have definitely interrupted them before they started using courtesy names with one another like they were strangers. She saw that A-Xian had his hand on his flute and reached out to him to calm him by taking his wrist.
Another knock sounded at the door.
Yanli wondered if they would ever be able to just eat in piece, when A-Cheng told the person on the other side to enter, while Yanli drew back her hand, frown still in place.
In came Lai Ping and Liu Tu, with a person between them who fell to their knees in front of them, because they shoved them forwards. The two Jiang disciples bowed to A-Cheng, standing straight again.
"Clan Leader Jiang. We brought her, just as you asked.", Liu Tu said. Yanli's gaze wandered down to the person sitting on the floor and she gasped.
There, kneeling down forcefully, bound at the wrists and glaring up at them was none other than the one doctor that had helped them out not that long ago.
"Wen Qing", A-Cheng whispered.
Notes:
Who wants to place bets on how well WWX will take seeing Wen Qing in chains? :)))
This was fun to write, i think Yanli knowing will give lots of advantages later. Zi Yu is made up by me, and since he's a Nie doc he knows some relevant resentful energy stuff that he's hinting on here which you probably figured out already, y'all are smart cookies. (it's not wise of him to discuss his clan secret, of course. He doesn't tell WWX or the others what he's talking about, though. He'll ask his clan leader before he says anything.) Also yes, Yanli was almost struck by Chenqing, that was a close call. I originally had it in there but it destroyed the flow of the scene a bit so I left it for later.
Obligatory discord server link if you wanna talk smack about MDZS with us: https://discord.gg/pA9VpawGXe
Next up: JC has to have some words with some people, Husbands fighting (reprise), Yunmeng fam moment, Wen Qing joins the party of people-who-coddle-WWX-until-he-feels-better, some misplaced feelings of jealousy are flying around town.
Any theories or thoughts you have I'd love to hear! :*
Chapter 5: Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
Summary:
JC has to have some words with some people, Husbands fighting (reprise), Yunmeng fam moment, Wen Qing joins the party of people-who-coddle-WWX-until-he-feels-better, some misplaced feelings of jealousy are flying around town.
Notes:
Okay first off, JC is made up of contradictions (even to himself) and I love that about him. Also I headcanon him as aro-ace (def ace, lil bit aro) and that may first shine through here.
Anyway, enjoy the JC and Yunmeng Siblings feels ;D (also LWJ and WQ). Beware the vinegar in this chapter x))
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Cheng
The reaction to this entrance was immediate. Jiang Cheng felt himself rise, taking a step forward. A flashback to finding her in the dungeons in a similar way flashed before his eyes, and it unnerved him greatly. He had not intended for Wen Qing's arrival to happen this way, no way. After all, he had wanted her
help
, not for her to be his prisoner. He opened his mouth to say so, but never got around to it, because before he could even properly react, Wei Wuxian was on his feet and practically materialized in front of Liu Tu, his fist raised, and it just took the blink of an eye before Liu Tu was on the ground.
"How dare you?" Wei Wuxian hissed and Jiang Cheng could only stare at Liu Tu, knocked out in one powerful swing by the man who had just been in bed, bruises all over his torso, bound in bandages from head to toe. Wei Wuxian seemed to be trembling with rage now, about to continue his path of wrath on Lai Ping, but Jiang Cheng decided that this was enough.
"Wei Wuxian!" he bellowed. "Stop!", his voice was firm, and he didn't hesitate any longer, springing forward, his fists balled.
"What do you mean, stop ?! Did you order them to do this?!" his brother's wrath turned on him, gesturing vaguely to Wen Qing. "Do you even know what she did for us? Sacrificed for us? She shouldn't even be here!", Wei Wuxian was furious, and Jiang Cheng honestly couldn't recall the last time he had seen him so utterly unhinged. His fists were shaking, and seemed to be...smoking?
Wen Qing shuffled on her knees, clearly uncomfortable.
Jiang Cheng was about to say something, but before he could, Wei Wuxian seemed to deflate. He huffed, shook his head and kneeled in front of Wen Qing in a fluid motion. Apparently, her discomfort had shaken him out of his rage. With nimble fingers, he untied her bindings and tossed the rope to the side unceremoniously.
Without them exchanging even a word, Wen Qing held out her hands, nodded her thanks and rubbed her wrists when the ropes came off. Then, Wei Wuxian was at her side, his hands on her shoulder and around her waist, and she was lifted to her feet as if Wei Wuxian wasn't injured and also - these two were touching as if-
Jiang Cheng felt as if slapped. Wei Wuxian's touch lingered, and Wen Qing nodded at him, not really shaking him off, just gently lifting her hand and telling him she was fine. What...what was going on here? He whirled around to look for A-Jie's reaction, but she seemed just as puzzled, looking at her brother's hands. The most reaction however, came from Lan Wangji. His eyebrows were drawn together, and he glared between Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, but then mainly at Wen Qing. Jiang Cheng didn't know how well these two knew each other, the last time they had seen one another was probably at Dafan mountain, right? Or at the turtle cave? But he could practically see the gears in Lan Wangji's head turning, swallowing with...what, jealousy? For Wen Qing?
Wei Wuxian was whispering to her now, his face serious, and Lai Ping had lifted her comrade, dragged him over to the wall and slapped his cheek for him to wake up, shooting nervous glances at Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, as if they would explode at her again any moment. Honestly, he still might. Binding, chaining Wen Qing....what were they thinking? The woman had already been through enough in the past weeks, first housing them, then helping him heal for which he hadn't been very grateful and he knew it, then he assumed being captured for months now, as they had found her in the dungeons. A voice in his mind kept reminding him that she was a Wen. Yes, she was, of course, but they had helped them, right? Had recovered the bodies from inside, had helped Jiang Cheng escape?
"A-Xian.", came A-Jie's voice, disrupting the small whispered conversation those two were having. Jiang Cheng tried to quiet that damn voice inside him, telling him that of course Wei Wuxian was close with her, how could anyone want him over his awesome brother? Stronger, more skilled, older...his fist clenched, and he closed his eyes for a second, trying to reign in the rage bubbling inside. Wei Wuxian stood up straight now, finally getting out of Wen Qing's personal space. A-Jie smiled, stepped forward and bowed, clearly also wanting to welcome her as a guest. Jiang Cheng wanted to slap himself again, because he had not greeted her properly, either, and he was the damn sect leader now, wasn't he?
"Wen Qing, I deeply apologize for your treatment. We are grateful for all you have done for us and welcome you to our quarters in the Nie residence. I did not get to thank you the last time we parted.", a short glare to her two brothers and Jiang Cheng looked away. That was their fault, of course, as they had drugged her to send her away to safety. Wen Qing rubbed her wrists, but she bowed herself now, towards Jiang Cheng, then A-Jie and finally Lan Wangji. The latter looked less than happy, but did return it.
"Thank you. Just so you know, I would have come without...being forced.", she glared at Lai Ping in the corner.
"But you refused.", Lai Ping defended herself.
"I said I needed reassurance for my family's safety. It seems you need to teach your people to listen better, Sect Leader Jiang.", she said with a side-eye towards Jiang Cheng, but her tone was very put together, somehow. Personally, he would have started to attack the people in this room upon being handled in ropes like a prisoner.
Finally, Jiang Cheng shook off his shock and shame and managed to bow back, deeper than probably necessary.
"I will try my best to guarantee it. Thank you for your cooperation.", he said. He wanted to say more, he really did, but just repeating his sister's words seemed silly and he didn't know how else to put it. He was glad she was here though, to help Wei Wuxian, but also because he had had the sour feeling of leaving her to her own death when he just let her walk away.
"Wen Qiiing", Wei Wuxian whined. He was right back in his element, it seemed, performing a pity show as if Wen Qing was an old friend, and he was just joking around. "I'm so glad you're here. Are you hungry? Nie-Xiong had food brought in." he grinned, and bumped his shoulder into hers. For a second, Wen Qing seemed to think about how to react, but then she smiled, but it wasn't gentle, it was rather mischievous.
"Oh? And you've already eaten your share?", she asked, looking him up and down, her expression clearly stating her doubt. Jiang Cheng felt himself shaking his head slightly so Wei Wuxian couldn't just say yes when he'd barely touched his second bowl. Wen Qing saw but didn't comment, only looking at Wei Wuxian with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, my Lady, definitely." he bowed to her now as well, but it was exaggerated, and she rolled her eyes at him. Then she suddenly reached out with a jab of two of her fingers, poked him in the ribs and Wei Wuxian's lungs seemed to deflate, while he toppled over, hugging himself in pain.
"Ayaaa! Ouch...what was that for?"
"For moving around like normal with broken ribs, idiot.", she huffed. Jiang Cheng frowned, wanting to ask how she knew, but Wei Wuxian just pouted like a three-year-old child. It was eerie, he almost seemed normal again, not at all like the person with an ice-cold facade that had just called Hanguang-Jun by his courtesy name probably for the first time since Cloud Recess.
"Sit down and eat.", Wen Qing ordered, and she watched until Wei Wuxian did so obediently, the pout never leaving his face. Then she turned to A-Jie. "May I find somewhere to refresh, Lady Jiang?", she asked politely, tilting her head to indicate respect. Well, she did still look quite beaten up and dirty, so that was probably for the best. A-Jie perked up, having watched the exchange with fondness in her eyes, and immediately smiled.
"Of course! Follow me, my rooms are this way."
And just a few seconds later, they were both going further into the rooms, where behind one of the doors his sister's rooms lay.
A moment of silence followed the closing of the door, then Jiang Cheng whirled around, staring at Lai Ping. Liu Tu had awoken by now, rubbing his bruised cheek, and when he spotted the furious look his sect leader spouted, he was already on his knees, dragging Lai Ping with him, and they were both kowtowing so deeply their noses touched the floor.
"How is it that you mistook a question for help with your first disciple's health as a request to kidnap a person?", he asked, his voice appeared calm, but both of them knew that it was seething with repressed anger. He knew that he let Zidian spark in his hand on purpose, just for emphasis, and he saw both of them jump at the sound, ever so slightly. Good. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Wei Wuxian opening his mouth to say something, but Jiang Cheng shot him a look and he shut up, shoving another bite of food into his mouth to mask the opening there.
While they apologized, and he kept yelling at them, shouting out their punishment in extra exercises in the next few days, he heard a conversation blossom at the table not far away from him.
"Wei Ying.", Lan Wangji said. He hadn't talked since those two had basically had a shouting match, Jiang Cheng wasn't even sure at which point Lan Wangji had sat back down.
"Mh?" Wei Wuxian took another bite.
"What did Wen Qing do for you?", Lan Wangji asked, bluntly. His tone seemed weird, put off more than usual. Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow, but eventually answered.
"Her brother helped us recover Madam Yu and Sect leader Jiang's bodies from Lotus Pier." Wei Wuxian stared at his food, and then over to him. Jiang Cheng faltered in his tirade for a second, but soon continued. As did Wei Wuxian. "And he also got out Jiang Cheng." Wei Wuxian bit his lip now, the topic as sour as nothing much else probably was. Jiang Cheng sighed, finally stopping his tirade, and now sat back down with the other two. He had asked his two disciples to leave for now and was satisfied when the door closed behind them.
"Wen Qing helped me recover after I returned. And they let us stay at their office in Yiling", Jiang Cheng added, picking up his own chopsticks and searching for some food that was still edible even though the temperature had rapidly declined in the last minutes of it just sitting there. Lan Wangji stared from one brother to the other. Jiang Cheng wasn't very good at reading him, but he was pretty sure that there were still a few questions on his mind. Briefly, he wondered if they were all just competing for Wen Qing's affections now, and he was already tired. Honestly, he had just thought she could be good company and had a good enough standing and manners to maybe become more. But he was not about to compete with both Lan Wangji and his brother. He knew a fight that he couldn't win and he didn't want to fight it at all.
So, inwardly, he let it go. This was something he could live with, definitely. She could keep the comb if she wanted, but he would not push her any further.
"What did you recover from?", Lan Wangji asked him directly now, his golden eyes boring into his. Jiang Cheng felt his brown furrow and his anger rise. No, he would not openly throw hands with Lan Wangji, but he was sure enough not going to tell him about his golden core and recovery. It was bad enough that he let that happen, nobody outside of his sect and Wen Qing needed to know about it.
"Torture.", was all he said, voice cold and clearly ending this line of conversation. It wasn't wrong, per se. It had been torture, not having a golden core. And he had indeed been tortured. That future ahead would have left him with nothing to look forward to and everything lost. He couldn't very well be a sect leader without being a cultivator, right? This word made Lan Wangji stop looking at him at least, but he looked over at Wei Wuxian again now, and the way he was watching his brother eat made Jiang Cheng weirdly uncomfortable.
"Mn", Lan Wangji only answered. He didn't apologize for asking such a thing, but he didn't continue his questions, either. At least that's what he thought, until the guy opened his mouth once again.
"Wei Ying, was it you who altered the spells outside the-"
"I said enough", Wei Wuxian hissed, hand suddenly landing on the table. Both him and Lan Wangji flinched at the sudden loud sound, though the other man was able to hide it a little bit better. Lan Wangji's face soured, and he closed his eyes for just a second, as if to refocus.
"Come back to Gusu with me.", he then said, voice in a weird tone Jiang Cheng couldn't quite pinpoint. Wei Wuxian clenched his fist on the table, clearly trying to control himself. What did Lan Wangji want with him in Gusu? Punish him from the weird, unusual methods he was using? Jiang Cheng had to admit he wasn't a fan of the shadows under his brother's eyes either, of how there was now black smoke coming from his flute, but it had worked well enough against Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu and the other Wens, even making them run away from him, abandoning Yiling in the process. So before his brother could answer, Jiang Cheng did it for him.
"Why would you take him to Gusu? My brother does not have to answer to your sect's punishments now. We're not in your lectures anymore. This is the real world, this is war. Personally, I don't care what he did, it worked." Jiang Cheng leaned forward. "As long as those Wen dogs are history and paid for what they did to my sect, any method necessary is fine." Wei Wuxian looked at him, really looked, and Jiang Cheng could have sworn he almost looked touched.
"Jiang Cheng-" but suddenly, in a flurry of white robe, Lan Wangji was standing, interrupting them both.
"Tricks like these disturb the mind and soul of whoever uses them! There's no example throughout history to contradict it, it will destroy him. You cannot be okay with that, Sect Leader Jiang! How could you condone-"
"Enough!" this time Wei Wuxian was screaming. He was now also standing, eye to eye with Lan Wangji, making Jiang Cheng aware that his brother was actually a little bit taller than Lan Wangji for a split second before Wei Wuxian continued.
"Out.", his brother hissed.
"Listen, I enjoyed our times fighting together, Lan Zhan, but I will not stand here and have you berate my brother or my family like this. And I will not 'come back to Gusu with you' so Lan Qiren can keep me prisoner and give me an exorcism or something. I. Am. Fine." he stabbed his forefinger into Lan Wangji's chest, lightly pushing him back even though the space between their faces was unbearably close. Unbearably because they had so much eye contact Jiang Cheng suddenly felt like he was interrupting something. "Now please leave. I was actually trying to eat."
His grey eyes seemed on fire and from down on his spot at the table, Jiang Cheng lifted an eyebrow. Lan Wangji suddenly seemed to deflate, eyebrows knitting together.
"I wasn't-" but he shut his mouth as if his own silencing spell hit him. He huffed, clearly frustrated, and then turned around and walked out, slamming the door behind him. Wei Wuxian was still standing, his chest heaving, staring at the spot where Lan Wangji had disappeared. Even Jiang Cheng had trouble reading his expression right now.
"Weren't you trying to eat?", he asked, interrupting the silence, grinning smugly at his brother's lost expression.
"Right.", Wei Wuxian said, deadpan and flat, toneless and somehow defeated, even having been the one to actually win that argument just now. But even sitting down, his brother just stared at the plate before him and frowned.
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and set down his own chopsticks. He was about to actually say something sincere, when the door to the other rooms opened and the two Ladies walked back in.
"Lan Wangji left?", A-Jie asked. Jiang Cheng gave a huff. They probably heard those two screaming through to the other rooms.
"Yeah, Wei Wuxian here had a fight with his boyfriend.", he said with a teasing grin, not actually meaning it. Just something in their intense stare right now had brought out his brotherly instinct to tease these two idiots.
"Again?", asked A-Jie in a worried tone, while Wei Wuxian glared at him for the boyfriend comment, but gave no real protest. Huh.
"It's fine, Shijie.", Wei Wuxian pressed between his teeth. A-Jie just sighed and turned to Wen Qing.
"Why don't you sit with us for a little, and we can catch up."
"Oh," Wei Wuxian said, smiling slightly. "You look nice. Unusual, but it fits you."
That's when Jiang Cheng also got a look at her. Wen Qing was wearing one of A-Jie's garments, a darker one than she usually wore, which was probably why she gave it to her. It was a purple Jiang Cheng would pick out for himself and with the belt in place it fit her very well. After all, her sister and her were of similar stature. Jiang Cheng found himself blinking away and swallowing quickly when he figured he was probably staring.
"Thank you. I will arrange for other clothes, but Lady Jiang has been kind enough to lend me some for now." she said, and then picked up the chopsticks Lan Wangji had left, wiping them on the cloth next to her plate and picking out some dishes, focusing on meat. Maybe she had noticed Wei Wuxian was avoiding it, like he had, or maybe she was just really hungry and didn't want to show it as much. Either way, she ate away, and it was silent for a bit before they spoke again. A-Jie set her dish down first. Out of all of them, she was probably the least worn out, considering the long journeys (or three months of Burial Mounds, or prison), that they collectively had behind them.
"I heard where you ended up being for the past three months", A-Jie said quietly, carefully. Her hand reached out gently, going directly for her brother’s wrist. Wei Wuxian's movements stopped, and his gaze quickly studied the people around the table. He looked like he wanted to run and hide, draw into himself instead of talking about this. Jiang Cheng felt his heart going out to him on this, he didn't like it when A-Jie brought up things like this as well, but he assumed with this, maybe it was better that it was addressed? Well, he decided to just keep eating and shoot his brother sideways glances and nods of support instead of interrupting.
“I wish you didn’t,” Wei Wuxian admitted, his expression visibly torn between sadness and something that looked like anger. He slowly moved to set down his rice bowl and chopsticks. Jiang Cheng wondered who he was angry with. He also noticed Wei Wuxian’s tone was carefully guarded, his now free fists clenching. Jiang Cheng felt a mix of emotions bubbling in his gut. He had tried to avoid thinking about what Wei Wuxian probably had to go through in these three months. He was pretty sure his imagination got nowhere near the terrible level it actually was. Never in his life had he seen his brother so careful with words and posture and so guarded about anything, really. Wei Wuxian was all smiles and chatter. Wei Wuxian was terrible at keeping secrets. Wei Wuxian always sat as he wanted, posture be damned.
That all seemed to far away now and Jiang Cheng felt his heart clench at the thought.
“I know you don’t, but I’d rather know than be left in the dark again.” A-Jie sighed and looked into her own lap. She seemed to fight through her own thoughts for a moment, searching for words to placate her brother’s sadness. It had always been one of the things that Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian agreed upon silently, whenever something bad happened. Their first instinct would always be to shield their sister from it. Jiang Cheng started to see now that might be a mistake. After all, they were all each other had now. Who were they to shut her out of their hurt when she was just as hurt by that action in the first place. Jiang Cheng’s stomach gave a twist again, and he stopped eating, also setting his food down, and felt his jaw clench.
A-Jie was still holding Wei Wuxian's wrist, now carefully going up to his upper arm and squeezing the side. She smiled one of her gentle, understanding smiles that were also kind of sad.
"The most important thing is that we're together again." she paused, looking at Jiang Cheng, who only managed to nod for her to continue. "It's okay if you don't want to talk about it, A-Xian. I understand. Just know that we're here for you if you do, okay? Both of us."
Wei Wuxian looked like he was torn between standing up and running away and just breaking down in tears. Honestly, he hated this look on his brother and if he hadn't already hugged him tightly when they met again, he now felt he should have held on longer. A-Jie seemed to think something similar, as she stroked his upper arm now, then gently shifted forwards for a hug, giving him time to back away. He did not, so she quietly took him in her arms, folding her small frame around his broader shoulders somehow.
At first, Wei Wuxian looked into the middle distance wearily, not quite seeming to understand what was going on, his eyes starting to dart here and there. When A-Jie's arms closed around him, he suddenly let out a sound like a strangled sigh that sounded suspiciously close to a sob and slowly raised his own arms, clinging to the fabric on A-Jie's back. His face, first wide-eyed, turned down and buried itself into their sister's shoulder. On one hand, Jiang Cheng understood Wei Wuxian's running instinct in this second. On the other, he smiled widely, feeling his own eyes water at the sight. Gods above, he had been so worried about Wei Wuxian that his presence here and now, upright and alright, seemed like a sudden miracle that he just realized he had again. They hadn't been properly together and whole like this since before Lotus Pier fell and with a sudden instinct, Jiang Cheng shot his own arm forward, trying to not be too fast in his movements, and closed his hand around his brother's forearm, squeezing it a little bit. From his sitting position, this was as far as he could or wanted to reach into their hug, but he saw Wei Wuxian tighten his grip around A-Jie a little, and heard a sudden chuckle from him.
"Wen Qing, I'm so sorry you have to witness this drastic display," Wei Wuxian said with what seemed like a grin. Jiang Cheng, who had for a second completely forgotten about Wen Qing in their little family moment, blinked and looked over. Indeed, Wen Qing was still there, and she seemed to have not taken notice, even though Jiang Cheng could detect a hint of a smile on her lips at Wei Wuxian's words. She chewed on her latest piece of food and swallowed before saying anything.
"It is understandable.", she said. "You have been through much.", she concluded, and Wei Wuxian lifted his face enough to look at her, meeting her eyes. Something in his brother's features stiffened, his jaw tightening and he shot Jiang Cheng a short glance that he couldn't quite interpret. What was going on between these two?
Finally, Wei Wuxian started to yawn in an exaggerated way and started to loosen himself from his shijie's hug. His touch lingered, showing her that he was not removing himself because he was uncomfortable. She smiled at him and squeezed his hands one more time before finally letting go.
"You should sleep, A-Xian.", she said. Wen Qing looked him over.
"Yes. You really should. When was the last time you properly slept?", she questioned. Wei Wuxian hesitated, his jaw muscles working, and he clearly debated if he should answer at all. Jiang Cheng knew he was preparing to close himself off from them, but could feel and see the two women in the room clinging onto their resolve to not let that happen, to varying degrees, and he found himself agreeing with them, silently, because if that happened, he feared somehow that he would lose his brother.
And honestly, he didn't know if he could survive that feeling again."You know the answer to that.", Wei Wuxian said, voice quiet. Jiang Cheng felt relieved that he actually said something, but instantly found himself nervous again at what he actually did say. It made sense though... in the Burial Mounds he was probably fighting for survival every second of the day, how could he have slept there? And Jiang Cheng knew -or assumed- that while he had been bedridden, his brother had spent his waking time searching for a way to save him, somehow. On instinct, he put his hand on his lower meridian, feeling for his core and suppressing the smile creeping up to him. In that, he had achieved the impossible again, Jiang Cheng guessed. Even if the guilt inside him at Wei Wuxian having to give up on ever meeting his grandmaster sometimes ate away at him, he was so glad to be able to cultivate again and build their clan back up. He felt stronger than ever, in fact. It was only deserving that Wei Wuxian would now meet the same kind of care!
Wen Qing's eyes widened a fraction at Wei Wuxian's words and she frowned, but then she closed her eyes for a second and sighted, clearly understanding.
"Of course. Well, that just makes it all the more urgent then." she shook her head as if exasperated with his brother's antics. Jiang Cheng would agree, if he weren't so irritated at the fact that these two seemed to know each other so well that they could communicate with just a look.
"What is going on with you two?", he asked, not being able to hold himself back. A-Jie shot him a look that was probably supposed to say 'don't', but he ignored her. He wanted to know.
"That's a story for another day," Wen Qing decided after they exchanged another one of those looks that he already hated seeing even though it hadn't even been an hour since Wen Qing arrived. Wei Wuxian stood, and it had apparently been too quickly, because he faltered for a second. Wen Qing was quicker than Jiang Cheng to arrive in time, and steadied him.
"Okay that's it. Where are his rooms?", she asked, and A-Jie pointed to them, scrambling up to open the door for them as Wen Qing manhandled Wei Wuxian into the other room. It was unnerving how little effort it seemed to take a woman with her frame and height to handle Wei Wuxian of all people, but Jiang Cheng told himself that his brother probably let himself be handled more than Wen Qing being actually stronger than him. But then he remembered how thin Wei Wuxian had been under these robes and he wasn't quite so sure anymore.
He himself did not follow. After all, it was time to report to Nie Mingjue. He was already here for several hours and already knew it would be a big apology he had to give to the sect leader for his generous waiting and hospitality and the fast way one of his doctors had shown up.
So he tore his gaze away from Wen Qing prodding his brother and his sister standing by and assisting whenever Wen Qing wanted something. He smiled despite himself, no real jealousy in his heart. In purple like this, Wen Qing looked like one of them and honestly, in whatever way that was ever possible, maybe that was more what he wanted than the way of possession of a person he had heard about from other men.
He snorted at his own weird thoughts and finally made his way outside after shouting into the room where he was going.
"Sect Leader", he was met outside by one of the disciples who had been to Yiling with him. "We have returned. All the bodies were taken care of.", he said, standing back up. Jiang Cheng nodded, satisfied that at least this part of his day was going without a hitch.
"Good. Any survivors?", he asked. Last time, they had found Wen Qing in the dungeons. He briefly wondered what happened to her brother. Didn't she say something about finding her family?
"No, Sect Leader.", his disciple said. He tilted his head, thoughtful on where he would be able to find more information about other Wen remnants. Maybe he should ask Nie Mingjue about that.
"Alright. I would like you all to rest for the remainder of the day. Replenish your energy from the long flight, then report to duty tomorrow.", he decided and the disciple gave another bow. Then, however, he hesitated, his gaze filtering to the door for a second.
"Yes?", Jiang Cheng asked, clearly sensing the question coming.
"How is brother Wei doing?", his tone was laced with worry. Jiang Cheng tried to remember if he was one of the ones who had been away on duty when Lotus Pier fell and had trained under Wei Wuxian before. He must have been, judging by the clear affection mixed in his expression.
"Wei Wuxian is going to be fine," he found himself reassuring his disciple, and maybe he was smiling just a little bit.
Because honestly, with Wen Qing and A-Jie there, how could he not be?
For a second, after the disciple was dismissed, he stopped, looking back not just to the room, but in time. He had let himself get caught in Yiling, so his brother and sister were safe. Did he think he'd survive but without his golden core? No. Did he think he'd actually get it back and get his brother and sister to safety too? Also no. But he did, they did. It had seemed so impossible, but here they were. Jiang Cheng smiled to himself, glad that his spontaneous self-sacrifice had brought them here, and he had hope again, finally. Hope that they were all going to be fine.
That they had actually achieved the impossible.
He made his way down the hallway to report to Nie Mingjue.
Notes:
Aaah, JC, so hopeful and optimistic... *evil grin*. Hah I hope you liked that ;D Also JC says women's rights, and you can't tell me otherwise.
Next up: I'm actually not 100% here but I have off half the week next week so that'll hopefully give me a bit of time to catch up to schedule. Also it's April next week so that means I can start Camp Nano! Wish me luck~
My plans for next chapter are that it'll be a Wen Qing chapter tho ;D So look forward to that.Tell me what you think :) I'd love to hear your opinion on this chapter. How much do you think has changed until now?
Chapter 6: You dense Motherf*cker
Summary:
Wen Qing complains about her patient, WWX, tries to go about her business just to be interrupted by some rude Jins. Shenanigans ensue, Jin Zixun is being an ass, Wen Qing is the sass queen we love and fear. WWX loses his temper, Wangxian are being obvious and Wen Qing low-key ships but also kinda hates it (because feelings in front of her).
Notes:
Welcome back! Thank you again for all the lovely feedback <3
Sooo it's Camp Nano and I've started to write this fic with it. I'm already a chapter ahead and I've done a bit of planning and I now know what the scope is and OH BOI was I wrong in my estimation at the start. So. Here goes:
This fic will have about 25 chapters with 5k words each (do the math that's like, 125k words). I will keep the POVs I've already had here (WWX, LWJ, JYL, JC, WQ) and distribute them mostly evenly (LWJ gets one more chapter than the rest and WQ one less if I stay with my current plan). This story will then be a complete fix it of most issues/problems in the story, but I'll be focusing mainly on WWX and his relationship with his family, adopted siblings and his future husband. Other characters will of course appear, but I'll only tag the POV ones because I feel like otherwise that's a bit much.
If you came in here thinking this was going to be 30k and over I'm so sorry. If you're open for a long fic, WELCOME and strap in. I've written long fics before (yes, not on this account, on ffnet I'm old ok??) and I'll do it again. I just love this AU so much by now, and I enjoy sharing it with you. So yeah. Thanks for your support!! (posting schedule may be adjusted so we don't sit here in August still. But more on that after Camp Nano is over).
Now uh. Enjoy our red queen, Wen Qing.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wen Qing
As a patient, Wei Wuxian was the worst one she'd ever had. And yes, she was counting her great uncle, Wen Ruohan.
He evaded her probings, did not take his medicine, disregarded her advice and worst of all; He did not care for his own wellbeing. The last one was the worst mostly because it made the other ones possible. Would he care about himself, he would listen to her, let her care for him and take the things she gave him.
But Wei Wuxian was being Wei Wuxian, even if he had been through much in the last months, at the core (however ironic) he was still the same man who had annoyed her until she agreed to transfer his very essence into his unknowing brother.
"Just because you appear fine does not mean you are.", she said after her patience was finally wearing thin. It was only three days after her arrival and Wei Wuxian's bruises did look better. But his ribs were still very much broken, he was still in need of healing for that infection on the burn, and she was also very, very aware of the mental toll he was under. Of course, he would deny the last part and that's why she had not directly addressed this.
"I can try. The attitude fools everyone else.", Wei Wuxian said while he wrapped his wrist pieces around his arms again.
"That's what you think.", she huffs. After all, she was pretty sure that at least Lady Jiang was very aware of how bad her brother had been faring. She had talked to the Nie Doctor that had looked at him, and he had taken care of most of his ailments swiftly and competently. Wen Qing smirked, sure that this was going to rile him up a bit. "I'm sure Lan Wangji isn't fooled.", she said and turned her back to him, so he couldn't see her smug smile.
"Wen Qing.", he growled, and she felt his gaze boring into him from behind. "Lan Wangji wants to drag me into his home and have me whipped for my crimes, chain me to a chair and play an exorcism until every ounce of resentful energy is gone. And then probably keep me in the mountain until I die of boredom." he sighed dramatically and finished dressing himself by putting his flute back into his belt. His sword was still on the nightstand, untouched. She glanced at it for a second but did not comment. It was still a sour spot for him, and she understood that. Putting it in his own line of sight seemed a bit like self-torture though.
"I mean, you know my opinion on that.", she just said, pressing her lips together and packing her medical supplies back into her bed. She debated just leaving some here because she'd have to come back tomorrow anyway.
"I do. But I can't, not yet." he turned to her fully, crossing his arms over his chest. She'd told him not to do that because it put pressure on his ribs, but of course he wouldn't stop. To others, he should be much more healed by now than he was. After all, he had still not told anyone about his golden core not being there. She understood his tendency for secrecy, so they wouldn't stop letting him fight, but also, he was putting himself in danger as well as keeping his distance from his own family, and she hated to watch that happen right in front of her while she was missing her own family.
Wei Wuxian could have the support of his siblings and fight this war, she was sure of it. But somehow, he harbored the illusion that it would all fall apart if they knew.
"You should tell them. Especially him.", she said with a deep sigh, closing her bag. He knew exactly what she was talking about, his eyes growing dark.
"No. I can't.", he said, jaw muscles tight and fists balled at his side.
"He'll find out sooner or later.", she shook her head. It was true, he will. Jiang Cheng may be an idiot when it came to feelings, but he was not an idiot when it came to many other things. Being around them both had already clued him into the bond they shared about this knowledge of the golden core transfer, and she knew that while she would never spill it out to anyone because she had been sworn to secrecy, one way or another someone was going to figure it out. She was pretty sure Jiang Yanli already had, but she didn't say anything.
"No way. He'll blame himself.", Wei Wuxian insisted. In that, he was probably right. But as much as one wanted to blame Jiang Cheng, he had been dragged into this too and the dubious situation about medical consent was in the back of her own mind on many days of her life. So she just rolled her eyes at him.
"Then tell him what's really happening.", she insisted. This man -boy still, really- needed to talk, actually talk to his siblings. They had had a good start, on the first day, acknowledging that he had been thrown into the burial mounds and giving him space. But Wei Wuxian was using this space to withdraw completely instead of opening up, and she was so, so tired of watching him do this to himself.
"It will break his heart.", he whispered, biting his lip. And that was it. That was hitting the nail on the head, wasn't it? Wei Wuxian was suffering in silence because telling his brother he had sacrificed his ability to cultivate for him would break his brother's heart. Never mind that his own heart was broken every time Jiang Cheng (or any other cultivator for that matter) asked why he wasn't carrying his sword with him. He just made a joke and seemed to move on, but she knew that he would love to carry Suíbiàn, clearly still cared about the sword that lay on his nightstand. But he could never draw it again now, he would probably promptly pass out. Wei Wuxian's core had been a sight to behold and Wen Qing was very aware that it was a well cultivated one for his age and the years he'd have had to cultivate it. She had tried to subtly observe Jiang Cheng's use of the core and knew that Sect Leader Jiang was now more powerful than ever before.
Indeed, it would break his heart to know that this newfound power was only because of his brother's sacrifice.
"But would it not be kinder if you told him than if he finds out another way?", she asked. Because wouldn't that be even worse?
Wei Wuxian swallowed and clutched his flute. She remembered he had given it a name now. Chenqing. Very fitting, she assumed.
"Well, I'm going to the supply room to get more herbs. Be sure to use that balm on your bruises tonight.", she said while Wei Wuxian started to redress himself. He really was still far too skinny.
"Yes, Doctor Wen", Wei Wuxian's voice was teasing, and he winked in a fake flirt that she could only roll her eyes at while her feet took her to the door. She opened it and would have stepped through, if there wasn't someone in front of it, hand raised as if about to knock.
"Ah, Hanguang-Jun." she took a step back, bowing.
"Lady Wen", he returned the gesture. He was cold towards her, but she didn't know if that was his normal amount of cold or if he wondered at her relationship with Wei Wuxian. She did not mind, after all she couldn't very well tell him anything about it.
"I will be leaving, you two have a nice evening. See you tomorrow.", she waved at Wei Wuxian and was out the door with a fast pace, not wishing to listen to this particular conversation. She knew they hadn't talked in the last days and that this had been a topic of dire annoyance between Wei Wuxian and his siblings. On Wei Wuxian's side annoyance of not talking to Lan Wangji and on his sibling's side the annoyance of having to listen to him whine about the whole affair.
"Wei Ying", he heard Lan Wangji start, but then the door closed, and she was blessedly alone in the hallway.
She enjoyed the silence, for a bit. After all, she was around people most of the time now, mostly the Jiangs. And as much as they were probably the most bearable cultivation family to have around and did accept her weirdly well into their midst, they were rather...loud. With her and A-Ning, things were mostly quiet, when they were alone. Wei Wuxian's family was a back and forth in emotions and volume, and sometimes she needed a break.
The path to the healing halls was familiar to her as she had walked it many times with Lady Jiang. Jiang Yanli was good company to have, as she was friendly and people here adored and respected her. It was a nice shield from the loathing and withering gazes she received from some cultivators roaming around the settlement. She may be wearing Lady Jiang's clothes, but her hair piece, name and face were still clearly that of a Wen, even if Wen Chao had put her in one of his own prisons. But people didn't know about that, did they? After all, the Jiang had officially welcomed her as a guest and Sect Leader Jiang had secretly sent some of his disciples to look for her family. It was a risky maneuver on his side and she was very aware of the grandeur of the gesture. After all, should they get caught, they could be suspected (or even easily convicted) of colluding with the enemy. So, yes, she was thankful for that, but the pit in her stomach was still so very deep, because her brother was still nowhere to be found. The last time she had seen him, he had been hurt and not even all that lucid and when they had dragged him away again she had been so afraid-
"Hey, Wen dog.", a voice called her. She stopped in the middle of the outdoor pathway at hearing her last name, but cursed herself a second later for she did recognize her mistake. A sigh escaped her, and she pressed her lips together. Now there were two options...walk away fast or stay put.
The decision was taken from her when the person who had called to her appeared at her side and she suddenly had a hand around her wrist.
Oh no.
"Who let you walk around on your own? You up to something? Any spying done today?", the guy sneered. She only needed a quick look to sort him in. His clothes were golden and his belt brown, he was wearing clothes with detailed embroidery on them, so he was clearly of high standing. The Jin clan didn't provide many people of high rank, and she knew what Jin Zixuan looked like from the Xuanwu cave as well as Cloud Recess, so this had to be his cousin, Jin Zixun. She recalled Wei Wuxian complaining about him at one point or another and found herself instantly agreeing with her patient for once.
"On the contrary, Master Jin. I'm on my way to get herbs to treat my patient, Wei Wuxian.", she hoped that name-dropping a high ranking cultivator would help her here. Then again, maybe judging from the face he pulled, Wei Wuxian was the wrong one to choose. Of course, an asshole like him, Wei Wuxian probably already picked at least one fight with him. She debated if she wanted to tear his arm apart with her needles or better not risk it. His grip was tight, he was certainly not letting go voluntarily. Behind him, two Jin cultivator guards stood. Both of them were also men. Just for a second, she allowed herself to panic, clenching and unclenching her jaw and closing her eyes.
"Wei Wuxian doesn't need treatment, he's just being an asshole like always. Don't think there's a treatment for that, right guys?" he grinned at his two guards, who snorted at his joke. In the next second, he was right in her personal space, sneering. "So I don't know why anyone allowed you to wander around here. We might as well just tell all our plans to Wen Ruohan directly, right?" more nods from his companions. Her free fist clenched, then with a flick of her wrist, she got out two needles, ready to strike. If he went any further, she would have to risk putting him out.
"What do you think you're doing?", came a voice from her left side, the way she had come from. It was ice-cold and drenched with a very potent threat. She recognized it instantly.
"Wei Wuxian. We were just talking about you," she said with a fake smile. Jin Zixun paled, even if only a fraction, and yanked his head around to see Wei Wuxian approach. He did not let go of either her or the hand that had settled on his sword.
"Oh?", Wei Wuxian said. He was smiling, too, but it was not a pleasant smile.
"Jin Zixun was calling you an asshole," she repeated the statement with a similar smile to his. Oh god, she knew this was probably bad and not helping her reputation at all, but also she just wanted to see that smug smile come off this man's face.
"I see.", Wei Wuxian said, coming to a standstill right next to her. "That's awfully rude of him." his tone was still even as he reached out with his own hand, closing his fist around the one that was holding Wen Qing's.
"Let her go," he growled, tone no longer level, but clearly threatening. But instead of doing so, Jin Zixun only glared.
"Wei Wuxian, did you sense your little spy girlfriend being in trouble?" he barked, his grip on both her wrist and his sword only tightening. Wen Qing felt like rolling her eyes but held herself back. Seriously, one person from another gender in his rooms and they already had an affair. Of course. Wei Wuxian was unfazed by this statement and instead only tilted his head.
"Wen Qing is a guest of my brother's. I would think twice before bringing his wrath on yourself."
Jin Zixun had the gull to snort, clearly unimpressed.
"What will Jiang Wanyin do? Attack me for ridding the Unclean Realm of another Wen dog?" he huffed, as if that was a bad joke. "Besides, it's not like you're actually brothers."
Oh no.
He should not have said that.
Instantly, Wei Wuxian's hand started to emit black smoke, tightening to what looked like a painful grip. His jaw clenched, his eyes turning to slits and flickering in an eerie kind of red light. His grip tightened around Jin Zixun's hand and instead of another snarl, pain flashed across that despicable face, then a slight tinge of panic. He let go of Wen Qing, finally, who took a step back and cradled her assailed wrist, feeding it with a bit of spiritual energy, so it wouldn't bruise. But the situation was far from over, because now, Jin Zixun had his sword out, and he clearly did not appreciate having shown any fear or Wei Wuxian's murderous gaze in general.
On the other hand, Wei Wuxian hadn't even uttered a word. He was clearly trying to reign himself in, hand still outstretched and black smoke rising from several parts of his body.
"Wei Wuxian! Concentrate!", she yelped, trying to decide if she should get closer or farther away. This could end badly. Suddenly it was her grabbing for Jin Zixun's wrist, trying to pull him away.
"You need to get out of here!", she warned, and she felt her own heartbeat rising in frequency, the panic starting. She had seen her uncle lose control, and it was not pretty for people standing in the way.
Instead of listening, Jin Zixun only looked at her as if she'd lost her mind and swung his sword in her direction. She dodged it easily, of course, but it was a near thing.
And not exactly the move to calm Wei Wuxian down.
"You dare...", he growled, and it was so low that it almost sounded inhuman. Jin Zixun was pale, watching the black tendrils and clearly debating himself if he should run. But his two companions also had their swords drawn, and he clearly didn't want to chicken out first. So he instead made the stupid, stupid decision to attack Wei Wuxian.
The first sword strike almost looked like Wei Wuxian wasn't going to dodge, still too occupied with steeping in the resentful energy. But instead, he raised his flute in a fluid motion and blocked the stroke. His eyes met Jin Zixun's, glistering in an unnatural light. Jin Zixun might not be the best swordsman, but he attacked swiftly nonetheless, hacking at Wei Wuxian without holding back. Wen Qing found herself uselessly staring at the spectacle and wondered -not for the first time- what this flute was made of to hold up against the sharp blade of a cultivator's sword so well. She could interfere, knock them both out, but that would be risky, as they were both moving so quickly.
To be fair to Jin Zixun, Wei Wuxian was too distracted by his sword attack to actually use his flute, which was probably a good thing. She didn't know where this would head if he actually commanded the resentful energy into something deadly, or summoned any spirits for assistance.
It was when the two Jin Cultivators decided to also join in the fight that the situation truly started to go south.
"Don't!", she heard herself yell. Wei Wuxian's eyes were wide, he was jumping back, further down the corridor his flute raised to his mouth-
When a sudden beam of white light struck the space between the Jin cultivators and him. A note rang out into the air, loud and clear and far too pretty for this situation.
In the next second, Lan Wangji descended upon the scene, white robes flaring around him and guqin in front of him.
"Wei Ying.", he said in a tone that was somewhere between worried and chastising. It was miraculous though, because as soon as the words were said, Wei Wuxian seemed to deflate. The black smoke ceased, the glow in his eyes faded and a relaxed expression appeared on his face.
"Ayaa, Lan Zhan!", it sounded like a protest, but clearly really wasn't. Wen Qing sighed. She had escaped from that room so she didn't have to listen to these two tip-toe around each other, only to end right back where she started. Well, Jin Zixun was here, too, which didn't make things much better.
"Wei Wuxian! What the fuck was that about?!", he yelled, pointing his sword at him. Calmly as ever, Lan Wangji stepped forward, putting himself in the line that the sword was drawing between Jin Zixun and Wei Wuxian. His guqin disappeared into his sleeve as he held up his own sword without drawing it. "Are you using dirty tricks on me? Are you working with Wen Ruohan?! Probably together with your dirty Wen Dog girlf-"
"Jin Zixun.", Lan Wangji's voice cut through the air like a blade made of ice. Wen Qing could only describe his gaze as close to murderous. He somehow pulled it off without using many of his facial muscles at all. "If I'm not mistaken, you were the one to attack first.", he said coolly.
"That still doesn't give him the right to-"
"To defend himself? When you attacked a guest under his clan's protection and him, who doesn't carry a sword?", Lan Wangji reasoned. Because she thought it was probably safest, Wen Qing inched closer to him and Wei Wuxian, standing next to her patient. Lan Wangji threw them a quick glance that she couldn't quite identify, but she instead looked at Wei Wuxian, eyebrows raised in a question; 'are you hurt?'. As a response, she received a head shake, then his own questioning eyebrow 'No. Are you okay?'. She nodded. It was interesting how they could have such a wordless communication so effortlessly. She guessed cutting someone open while they were conscious and holding their essence in her very hands let her know a person well enough for that.
"Yeah, why is that? It's disrespectful!", Jin Zixun bellowed, clearly not liking where this line of conversation was going. Wei Wuxian crossed his arms and huffed quietly.
"He is ordered to only light activity for the rest of the week.", Wen Qing came to his defense this time. "So no swords and no fighting, either." this earned her a smile from the side, but she ignored it. It was satisfying enough to see the doubt fly over the two Jin cultivator's faces and see that Jin Zixun seemed insecure, if only for a second.
"Still, what's that stuff coming off of him! It's weird, and it stung.", the Jin complained and Wen Qing felt like laughing at how childish this sounded. It was all well and good that the idiot didn't recognize it as resentful energy, though, that could save their hinds right now. Maybe because it was so dark on this open corridor anyway that it had been hard to make out or maybe just because Jin Zixun was so clueless. Wei Wuxian opened his mouth to answer, and probably pull something out of thin air, but his words were not the ones first uttered.
"An experimental technique.", Lan Wangji said.
Wen Qing blinked.
Had Lan Wangji just....lied?
She turned her head to see Wei Wuxian's reaction, only to see him just as shocked, mouth open and blinking slowly, staring.
"Lan Zhan...", he whispered. With a glance over to Lan Wangji, Wen Qing could see that the Lan's ears were suspiciously pink. However, Jin Zixun didn't seem to notice that. He was still trying to justify whatever this attack had been, and glared at Wen Qing now, the easiest and his earliest target.
"Experiment with the Wen Dog, then?", he barked. Of course, a stab at her was the safest bet for him.
"Stop calling her that!", Wei Wuxian hissed, teeth clenched and his hand still closed around Chenqing.
Wen Qing's heart was hammering. She didn't know how this situation could be resolved. After all, Jin Zixun seemed intent on bringing her to what he probably called justice, while Wei Wuxian was clearly bent on defending her. On the other hand, Lan Wangji...Lan Wangji looked at her like he wanted to throw her somewhere she couldn't ever touch Wei Wuxian again, but it was certainly for a different reason than Jin Zixun. She didn't know the second Jade of Lan all that well, but she was pretty sure that he was just plain jealous.
Without being able to help it, a laugh escaped her lips.
All eyes were suddenly on her.
"What on earth could possibly be funny to you right now?", Jin Zixun hissed. Wen Qing felt her mind suddenly go blank, caught in her little thought spiral. This really wasn't going well, she knew that Jin Zixun was short before calling reinforcements, before throwing on theatrics and accusing her of attacking him, and she knew that then, Wei Wuxian and the Jiangs wouldn't be able to defend her for long. Not with their clan still being rebuilt.
But then, before the panic could actually take hold of her, she remembered something she had observed before this whole mess started and that gave her an idea. If she was going down, she was dragging this damn excuse for a man down with her.
"Oh it's just that...it's funny how you can accuse Wei Wuxian of working with my great uncle when he was the one to drive my cousin out of Yunmeng.", she said. "When that part of the Wen Clan was responsible for wiping out almost the entire Jiang clan." she paused for effect, then took a step forward. "But I guess you wouldn't know that much about it, right? Having only recently even joined this fight, since your uncle paid mine off so graciously." another step forward, and her lips were lifting into a pleasant smile while Jin Zixun started to turn red from his chin upwards. She went for the death strike; "Did your uncle even agree? Is this all the force he can muster while the other clans send every man they can spare? Or is this just your cousin, trying to prove he has an actual spine?"
There was silence. Blessed, final silence, with Jin Zixun's mouth opening and closing without a sound escaping.
"Wen Qing", Wei Wuxian beside her sounded so delighted she wouldn't be surprised if he started laughing himself soon. Even Lan Wangji seemed stunned, eyebrows lifted and lips slightly parted. But her own steely gaze was still fixed on Jin Zixun, who looked like he was about to have a qi deviation on the spot. She wasn't sure if she was in the mood to help him if he did.
"You-", he started.
"I suggest you leave it alone for now, Master Jin.", Lan Wangji said, apparently composing himself again very quickly. Maybe he wasn't as hellbent at throwing her down in favor of having Wei Wuxian just for himself after all. Well, maybe he was just too noble to be that direct about it.
"Zixun?", a voice came in from the other side, the direction she had been about to leave to. There was Jin Zixuan, coming towards them with a male and female cultivator flanking him while off at the end of the hallway, Wen Qing could see Jiang Yanli, standing in the shadows. Had she looked for him and sent him over? The small, reassuring smile she was shooting Wen Qing right now certainly told her it was probable. She made a mental note to thank her later.
"Ugh! I really don't know what you see in her, this entire Clan and their associates are absolutely fucking nuts!" Zixun turned on Zixuan, yelling, before storming off in the other direction. Jin Zixuan blinked after his cousin, then bowed to the three of them.
"I don't know what he said, but I deign I should probably apologize on his behalf.", he said, his face sour. The tension had left Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's shoulders now and upon the corridor being rid of Jin Zixun, Wen Qing found herself relax as well.
"He attacked Wei Ying and Wen Qing with his sword and accused them of collaborating with the enemy", Lan Wangji summarized bluntly. Jin Zixuan's eyes widened, and he looked after his cousin, clearly furious. Another bow followed, lower this time, towards Wei Wuxian. He certainly did not look happy about it, but he was probably also aware of Lady Jiang in clear view of the scene from the courtyard not far away.
"Then I deign to apologize for his actions as well. I hope Master Wei is unharmed?", he asked, briskly looking him over.
"I'm fine", Wei Wuxian cut in, clearly already annoyed again. He himself had obviously spotted his sister, and probably suspected Jin Zixuan's behavior to be because of her presence as well.
"I am glad, then.", Jin Zixuan said, clearly not that glad at all. "I will see you at the next meeting tomorrow.", he bowed to Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, thoroughly ignoring Wen Qing, and disappeared after his cousin into the night. Wen Qing looked after them and for a second wondered how worried she should be about a nightly assassination attempt from Jin Zixun and his men.
"Well, that's that then", Wei Wuxian said cheerfully, smile back on his face. "Shijiiiie. Is there some soup left?", he asked, because Lady Jiang was coming down the open hallway towards them.
"A-Xian, that was so dangerous!", his sister chided. Wen Qing didn't know what she had seen, but she was pretty sure with the worried look she shot both of them, it was probably most of it. She bowed to Lan Wangji.
"Thank you for stepping in, Hanguang-Jun," she said and Lan Wangji only nodded, shooting her another glance, then stopping on Wei Wuxian.
"It was the right thing to do," he said. Wen Qing had to hold back another eye roll, but mimicked Jiang Yanli's gesture instead.
"Still, it is not the self-evident course of action," she said and meant it. After all, just pretending to not hear the confrontation and instead walk another way was certainly the course of action taken by most people passing by. This was a very populated corridor and that nobody had passed by and intervened until Wei Wuxian was probably not a coincidence.
"Aya, Lan Zhan, look at these wonderful ladies giving you attention!", Wei Wuxian was grinning and lifted his hand to clap Lan Wangji's shoulder. Instead, Lan Wangji grabbed his wrist, turning around to face him, making direct eye contact again. Wen Qing asked herself how oblivious Wei Wuxian could become and was short before just shaking her head at him in exasperation.
"Let me play for you," Lan Wangji said, his tone insisting, as if he had said so before. With how Wei Wuxian's lips tightened, she assumed it was what they had talked about in Wei Wuxian's room, or at least part of it. With a sigh, Wei Wuxian tore his hand out of Lan Wangji's and frowned into the middle distance instead of meeting his eyes.
"No, I'm fine.", he insisted and turned away from him. He saw his sister clearly wanting to talk about what happened, Lan Wangji insisting on trying and cleanse him, and finally his gaze landed on Wen Qing. She resisted the urge to sigh, but gave into his silent plea that his eyes shot her.
"Will you escort me to the medical storage, then? Obviously, walking around here by myself is not a good idea," she said. Maybe she also wanted to escape this whole collection of people. Now only Jiang Wanyin was missing to make the whole Wei Wuxian collection complete, and she only missed her brother more fiercely when she saw this band of people together, even if they were fighting and nagging each other. She missed A-Ning so fiercely that it stung sometimes.
"With pleasure!", Wei Wuxian said in a sing-song and offered his arm. She turned around, not taking it, which only made Wei Wuxian laugh more and he followed her, plucking the flute back into his belt.
They walked on, leaving behind two very displeased figures in the open corridor.
As a patient, Wei Wuxian was terrible.
As a friend, Wen Qing couldn’t really deny enjoying is company.
Notes:
SO. Hope you enjoyed that :)
God I had a lot of fun with this chapter, Wen Qing is incredibly fun to write.
Yes, LWJ heard some of that. Yes, it will come up again. Also yes you will find out what they're talking about don't worry. What do you think they were talking about? ;D
Next up: Detective LWJ uncovers a few mysteries, overhears a conversation that was NOT for his ears (scandalous) and makes a new friend (wow whaaat).
Chapter 7: Remember your Virtue
Summary:
Detective LWJ uncovers a few mysteries, overhears a conversation that was NOT for his ears (scandalous) and makes a new friend (wow whaaat).
Notes:
Good evening! :) SO I loved writing this chapter, we're closing in on the REAL Angst here, and I'm really looking forward to it.
Oh yeah, is Sunday evening the best time to upload? If I'm changing the upload schedule might as well ask y'all what you prefer. Just write me a different suggestion in the comments if you have one!
Now enjoy Detective Wangji worrying about his future husband!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan Wangji
After Wei Ying had thrown him out of the room, Lan Wangji tried to keep his distance and threw himself into the work of the campaign. They were in the middle of a war after all, it should not be difficult, he thought.
He was wrong.
Every time he was around any of the other clan leaders, Wei Ying or either of his siblings were there. If they weren't, Wen Qing was. Of course, she was never around when they were in official meetings, but Wangji was with the healers sometimes, to play for the sick, and she was often in the healing quarters. Ever since Wei Ying had so casually touched her when she was brought in, he felt himself tense whenever she was near. Maybe he knew, deep down, that these feelings were probably futile and irrational, but then again, when it came to Wei Ying, that was not new for him.
Alone in his room, he tried to find solace and peace by playing his guqin or meditating, but he found himself unable to properly concentrate on anything. Something was still nagging the back of his mind, something important he hadn't seen. But he could not find it in himself by just sitting and thinking, so he took a few walks, read a few books and still half maintained the purpose of trying to distract himself.
Whenever Wei Ying was in his line of sight, he tried to subtly observe. At first glance, he looked healthy enough, but having seen his wounds -or what he assumed was only a part of his wounds- Lan Wangji doubted that it was any more than a thinly veiled ruse to keep up appearances. His eyes were red rimmed, he was significantly thinner than he had been at the Xuanwu cave and his movements were stiff. Sometimes, he flinched ever so slightly when something agitated his bruises or broken ribs. Honestly, Lan Wangji was short before telling him to lie down and rest, but he was sure that he would not be the only one, as his sister and Wen Qing were just as adamant to tell Wei Ying to rest as he felt he wanted to be.
Part of him wondered if his physical changes were due to the resentful energy or the struggle in the burial mounds...or still remains of that torture he went through beforehand. Several times, he cursed himself for leaving Wei Ying with his brother after the Xuanwu cave and just heading to Cloud Recess. If he had visited or hurried over as soon as he heard of the attack on Lotus Pier...
Then what? What could he, one person, have done against an army so grand it wiped out a whole sect?
But his brother had been missing and his home had just burned down, and he could not possibly justify to indulge himself in staying with Wei Ying and his family when he didn't have reasonable knowledge about anything happening to any of them. He was just so...frustrated at the whole mess of events that he wanted nothing more than to hug Wei Ying to his chest and shield him from any further harm. Would the resentful energy lash out at him? It hadn't when he had carried him and whenever Wei Ying moved around, it didn't seem like he was unstable or smoking with it in any way. The only indication to others that something was wrong was probably his missing sword and the eerie black flute in his belt. Suíbiàn had certainly come up in a few conversations between cultivators, but there had only ever been one confrontation of Wei Wuxian about it, which had luckily been dismissed by Jiang Wanyin, who explained that Wei Ying's doctor had ordered for him to not carry his sword until his energies were replenished.
Lan Wangji wondered if Jiang Wanyin knew about his brother's core.
"Wangji?", his own brother asked, suddenly in front of him. Was it suddenly? Lan Wangji wasn't sure, he had been so deep in his thoughts.
"Yes?", he asked, blinking rapidly and only now noticing how dry his eyes were from staring blankly into space.
"Are you alright?", Xichen asked. He had only arrived today and clearly still remained weary from the journey. Yet, he had been in this war meeting, as had the other clan leaders. Wei Wuxian had been absent, but Lan Wangji vaguely remembered Jiang Wanyin saying that his doctor had prescribed him bed rest for as long as possible and that his sister had forced him to abide by those orders. Wangji had found himself glad to hear this.
"Yes.", he lied, then frowned, puzzled about how well that came off his lips. Instead of trying to further drill himself into the lie, he pursed his lips and shook his head. "Well, no." he sighed, closing his eyes for a second. Xichen had always been very observant about his feelings towards Wei Ying, so he tried a safe bet that was not wrong but would still save him from having to explain too much detail about what was disturbing him right this second.
"I had a disagreement with Wei Ying.", he confessed. "I tried to persuade him to come to Gusu with me." It was not wrong, and he did wish to discuss this with his brother anyway, so it was as good a starting point as any. They made their way out of the war room together, as the meeting was now over. Since he had stood at the side, it had not been too terrible that Lan Wangji had not paid as much attention, but he assumed it had gone smoothly, otherwise his brother would be in a worse mood or still chatting with Nie Mingjue.
"I see. And he did not wish to come?", his brother asked, a small understanding smile ghosting over his lips. Wangji nodded, averting his gaze and looking towards where they were walking.
"Yes. He seemed to assume I would turn him in for punishment", he could not help the deep frown that set on his features and his hands that balled into fists behind his back. Lan Wangji could feel his brother's worried gaze on him, probably tinged with sympathy. They were both thinking about mother, he was sure. They also both knew that Wangji would never want to submit Wei Ying to anything remotely similar to what had happened to her. But Wangji also knew that he would never be able to just tell Wei Ying that, and most of all not why .
"Mh. That is indeed a difficult predicament.", his brother admitted. "How is he doing, generally? I heard you brought him here in quite a state." they had made their short way to their rooms -previously just Wangji's rooms- and settled at the table, pouring each other tea. Wangji stared into his steaming cup while he sorted through his thoughts properly. Should he tell his brother? If so, how much? He decided to be vague, but truthful, in the end. If he was honest with himself, he needed the council and was so very sure his brother would probably know an answer that he just had to try.
"We found him in Yiling. Apparently, Wen Chao had thrown him into the Burial Mounds to die.", Wangji took a deep breath while his brother gasped in astonishment.
"And he survived that?", he asked. It was a valid reaction and certainly similar to what he had thought. He had had many debates with himself how this had been possible at all and the only explanation he could come up with was not pretty. On the other hand, it would be just like Wei Ying to pull off the impossible, wouldn't it?
"Yes. Three months, as far as we can gather," he said. Wangji didn't have to look to know that his brother's gaze was probably edged with concern. So he just continued. "He's...he's different, brother. I..." he hesitated, taking another deep breath and looking up.
"Are there rules already set for everything in this world?", he asked.
It was a big question, he was aware of it. But his inner struggle was starting to strangle him, he could no longer weigh this clan's doctrines against Wei Ying's health and his love for him. At least right now, it felt like a deep betrayal against himself and he wanted so badly to be able to choose, to just have a clear-cut answer that told him which way was the right path. But there were so many nuances to consider that he could be sitting here, weighing one rule against another, and still not have a conclusion.
He knew because he had tried.
Xichen hesitated, but finally he said; "I always thought reading all texts in the Cloud Recess Library meant discerning the rules of everything in the world. But I found out, even if I finished all existing books, there are still many puzzles in the world." he paused, taking a sip of his tea. "There are no set rules. There isn't a clear line between right and wrong."
Wangji's frown deepened. "If people can not be judged simply in this way, then how can we evaluate a person?"
"What makes us human can't be judged simply as right or wrong, but lies in ourselves. As we evaluate others, we shall not label them as black or white, but know their deep intention inside." Xichen put his hand over his heart and Wangji followed his movement, staring first at the hand, then through his brother as his thoughts tried to gather around what was being said.
"Are you saying I should follow my heart?", he could not contain the slight amusement he felt at this summary, as it sounded cheesy and far too simple.
"If you want to call it that, yes.", Xichen was still fully serious, taking another sip of tea. Wangji resisted the urge to roll his eyes and took a small gulp himself, washing down the whole cup. The tea was still too hot to drink this way, but he kind of relished in the burn of it down his throat. Of course, he appreciated his brother's advice, but at the same time, Xichen was a bit of a hopeless romantic sometimes, and he had to hold back a snappy comment about this not being about his own feelings towards Wei Ying.
Well, only partly.
What did his heart say about the matter? Instead of huffing, he tried to at least consider the advice and turned inward for a second while he poured his second cup.
Deep inside, he was certain that Wei Ying himself had not changed. Even if it was just him wishing so, his behavior around his siblings and the few words he had heard him utter made him think that Wei Ying's deep sense of justice and his desire to protect the ones he loved had not changed. Even if his methods differed, Lan Wangji found himself stubbornly clinging to the insurance that it was just that, a method. If Wei Ying had access to his golden core and could cultivate with his sword without problems again, if he hadn't been forced to survive in the Burial Mounds for three moths, he would have never steeped to these lowly, damaging, unorthodox techniques...
...right?
Lan Wangji frowned. No, that wasn't right. Wei Ying had already been playing with this idea in his head ever since they met. Maybe his hand had been forced, but there was no surefire way to say that at some point, Wei Ying wouldn't have tried this, anyway. Especially as desperate as they were in the war right now, with the threat of the Wen hanging over their heads like a guillotine. If Wangji understood correctly, Wei Ying thought of resentful energy as just another source of energy that would be wasted if not used.
Outwardly, he only sighed.
That thought process did not help him. It didn't solve the dilemma of what he should do about it. Obviously, Wei Ying did not wish to come to Gusu with him to heal. Evidently, he was already on sick leave right now, with Wen Qing forcing him to eat more and take it easy, which was all good, of course. But Wangji couldn't help but think that whatever clung to him from the Burial Mounds must keep him from healing faster, as fast as that could be without a golden core to help him.
His brother left, at some point, and Wangji's daily routine soon returned. He wished he hadn't made such a giant fool of himself by trying to confront Wei Ying, who had obviously lashed out at him. For whatever reason, it did not matter, because it was probably connected to the trauma of the Burial Mounds. He should not have pushed, he was now aware of this. But at the same time, something had his guts in a vice grip whenever he as much as thought about those talismans attracting spirits or saw a whiff of black smoke coming from Wei Ying or his black flute.
Chenqing he had called it now, apparently. He might have overheard a conversation in the main hall a few hours ago about it. 'Setting forth one's thoughts and explaining one's actions', huh...it certainly made Lan Wangji think that there was far more that he still had to find out if he wanted to understand Wei Ying's thoughts and actions fully. And he had to do it by not making Wei Ying think Wangji wanted to punish him for anything. Because however unorthodox his methods, if Wei Ying did it in the name of justice, Wangji would at least want to understand what was happening. And if it was possible, he would want to help. If it was dangerous, he would want to practice damage control as much as possible. In summary, he just wanted to BE there-
"I'm sure Lan Wangji isn't fooled", Wen Qing's voice filters through Wei Ying's door. Lan Wangji was in front of it, had been about to knock, when his own name filtered to his ears and made him stop automatically. He heard an answering growl from Wei Ying.
"Wen Qing. Lan Wangji wants to drag me into his home and have me whipped for my crimes, chain me to a chair and play an exorcism until every ounce of resentful energy is gone. And then probably keep me in the mountain until I die of boredom.", a dramatic sigh came from the other side of the door and Wei Ying's voice and his words cut through Lan Wangji's heart like a knife would. He wanted to burst in and tell Wei Ying that he wants nothing less than that, would never -
"I mean, you know my opinion on that," Wen Qing only said. Lan Wangji frowned. Wait, he was eavesdropping. That was against the rules. He should...
"I do. But I can't, not yet.", Wei Ying said.
"You should tell them. Especially him." This was...probably not for his ears to hear, he thought, but also, were they talking about him still? The little jealousy demon in his heart stirred, and he stayed where he was. What was he not supposed to hear?
"No. I can't", Wei Ying said, sounding dead certain.
"He'll find out sooner or later.", Wen Qing countered. What? What would he find out??
"No way. He'll blame himself.", Wei Ying insisted. Blame himself...for what? Oh, his treacherous mind could think of a few things he could blame himself for, but he had hoped that Wei Ying would understand-
"Then tell him what's really happening.", Wen Qing said.
"It will break his heart.", this was barely audible, but it made Lan Wangji clench his sword in his hand and he visibly swallowed. Break his heart...did Wei Ying...know of his feelings? Did he want to break it to him gently but was waiting for the right moment? Maybe to tell him that he would be with Wen Qing? He tried not to let the crushing weight of that thought take over his mind and instead listen further. Maybe there was an explanation coming...
"But would it not be kinder if you told him than if he finds out another way?" Wen Qing's words only made his heartbeat accelerate further, and he felt his breathing increase as well, panic rising. He did not hear the next words spoken, because his mind was on a spiral downwards that was certainly not heading in a positive direction. The words spoken repeated in his mind over and over, and he felt his chest tighten, his eyes blinking uncontrollably.
Suddenly, the door opened and Wen Qing stood there, clearly on her way out. Wangji's hand was still in the air, about to knock, and only years of experience in schooling his expression made him manage to do it before Wen Qing really realized he was there, and they were looking at each other.
"Ah, Hanguang-Jun," she said and bowed. It was pure muscle memory that he managed to return the gesture without an awkward pause.
"Lady Wen", he said, tone probably colder than he intended.
"I will be leaving, you two have a nice evening. See you tomorrow.", Wen Qing waved at Wei Ying, and then she was gone, and they were finally alone.
"Wei Ying," he started, then blinked, stopped himself and closed the door behind him. Wei Ying's gaze was skeptical, and Wangji definitely understood why that was the case. After all, their last conversation had not ended very well. He tried to banish the conversation he had just overheard from his head and took a deep breath to calm his racing heartbeat.
"Yes?", Wei Ying asked. He was pulling on his over robe and this only made Lan Wangji painfully aware that he had probably just been undressed for whatever Wen Qing had done with him. No, he reminded himself. This was a doctor seeing a patient, he was getting ahead of himself, and he was here for something else.
"I wanted to offer my help.", he finally managed. It was indeed what he had come for, after all. Maybe it was not how he had wanted to word it, but it was the essence of it.
"Help with what?", Wei Ying asked, still weary, but certainly a little more relaxed. It was always a balm to his heart, how open Wei Ying was to read, his gestures, his expressions. This had also changed slightly, since his return, but it was still easy, at least for him. Lan Wangji swallowed. He was not able to look at Wei Ying with what he said next. It was difficult to put into words in the first place, asking for eye contact was too much. He knew that he was in risky territory here, that he may be addressing something he overheard, but he could not help it, and he was also very aware that his conclusion might as well have been from their last heated conversation.
"I think you may have misunderstood me when I offered to take you back to Gusu", he swallowed and risked a small glance at Wei Ying, who stiffened. So he hurried to continue. "It was merely an offer for assistance. I believed that in Gusu, it may be easier to concentrate, to be calm and...collected. It always helps me." he was not proud of how his voice died out and became smaller towards the end. Who was he, some shy maiden? Determined, he set his jaw and looked up, stepped forward to look his supposed soulmate in the eye. Wei Ying looked astonished, but did not say anything yet. "If you do not wish to go, that is alright. But may I offer to play for you? To calm your mind or help you heal?"
There was silence for a moment. Wei Ying had his flute in hand, had been about to put it in his belt. He turned it in his fingers, then began to spin it, and seemed deep in thought.
"Thank you for the offer," he finally said. His lips were pursed. "But my mind is very calm. Wen Qing is already healing me plenty, too."
Again, Lan Wangji felt his own frown deepen. He had come to be more tolerant, he did. But he could not watch this go down while Wei Ying pretended he was fine.
"But your techniques-"
"I know!" his voice was louder, he was clearly out of patience again. "I know, okay? I know it harms me, I know it's not what you're used to, that your stupid rules are against it. But it's who I am now. I have it under control. If you can't deal with this, well then maybe you should stop trying to deal with me altogether.", he put his flute in his belt with a shove that looked almost violent and turned to the door to leave. No, not again, he could not do this again! This tense silence between them had been killing him. Wei Ying was right there , and he could not talk to him, not be beside him even though he had looked for him for almost three months...
"Wei Ying, please." he said, when Wei Ying was about to pass him. He stopped in his tracks, finally looking at him, and maybe Lan Wangji looked as sad as he felt, because he didn't continue on his path.
"I just...I just want what is best for Wei Ying.", he summarized it. Because that was basically what this was, right? Wei Ying had just admitted it was harmful to himself, and without a core, how could he rebuild his body at the same rate or better, so that he may emerge unscathed? "I apologize if I cannot offer anything more suitable.", he said that like it was a neutral statement, while inside, his chest was hammering with the beats of his heart, trying to tear out and reach out for Wei Ying, touch him, hold him, support him in any way he could. But he knew this was unwanted, and he would be damned if he did anything to Wei Ying that he did not want.
"Thank you, Lan Zhan. I appreciate it. I need to... I need to go.", and as much as Wei Ying's face had softened at the words, the more the stark contrast stung when he grimaced towards the end. Where was he going? It was already late, was it not? The lights were starting to go out in some of the other rooms and Wangji felt himself starting to get sleepy, meaning it was probably close to nine in the evening already. When Wei Ying disappeared down the corridor, Wangji stood there for a second, trying to calm himself down.
Well, Wei Ying might have denied his playing, but his tone when he left had not been as hostile and Wangji decided to count this as a win. It would have to do, for now, maybe it was something they could build on.
But for the moment, he should return to his rooms.
It turned out, that was not what was supposed to happen. Instead, he had to intervene in a confrontation with Wen Qing and Jin Zixun, and it all turned out to be quite a mess. Wangji watched Zixun walk away and asked himself how much of a problem this was going to be in the future. It gave him an uneasy feeling.
Again, before walking away with Wen Qing, Wei Ying had denied his playing. At least not so vehemently, this time. So he stood there, side by side with Jiang Yanli, and stared after the two of them. Finally, Jiang Yanli sighed.
"I just wish he would let me help", she said. "He just doesn't want to talk to me." she frowned deeply and Wangji felt his own eyebrows rise. Somehow, he had thought that Wei Ying would open up to her especially, of all people.
"Do you know why?", he asked instead. Jiang Yanli shook her head.
"I do not. I thought offering him space would make it easier for him to come at his own pace. But I just feel like he's withdrawing even more and I don't know what to do now." she looked down at her hands, fiddling her fingers together nervously. Wangji wondered if she was nervous to talk to him or just nervous about the situation in general. "As soon as he's healed he will want to join the fight.", her voice was quieter now, but she seemed certain of what she was saying. Wangji found himself agreeing. Even without a core, there was no way they would be able to keep Wei Ying from joining the battle. And as for talking to him...it was clear that pushing was also not the way to go, as evident by Wangji having tried so before. Jiang Yanli now turned to him.
"Is it safe?" she asked. Wangji frowned down at her, tilting his head in question, because he did not know what exactly she meant. She immediately hurried to elaborate. "The techniques he's using. I know you wanted to confront him about it, is it because it's harming him?"
Even though he had literally just done that a few minutes ago, he now hesitated to just say yes. 'I have it under control', Wei Ying had said. And indeed, as soon as Lan Wangji had shown up and the situation had been safer, the black smoke around Wei Ying had dissipated. But he had also said himself that it was harming him...what was the truth?
"I am not sure", he admitted. "He refuses to talk to me as well." Well, that wasn't a lie, but it was also slightly unfair. He had not made himself to be the best conversational partner, after all. But Lady Jiang did not seem to want to chide him for that, she just smiled and turned in the direction of their rooms.
"Would you be free to take tea with me? I'm afraid we're a little too in the open for such conversations.", she glanced around at the servants occasionally passing as well as some other cultivators. The Unclean Realm was certainly much more populated than it usually was, with them using it as a stronghold for the campaign. Wangji looked at the moon's position in the sky and contemplated. Yanli followed his gaze and seemed to understand.
"Oh, it is almost nine. That is fine then, we can meet another time.", she was gentle about it, but he could tell there was slight disappointment there. For some reason, he wanted nothing more than to keep that disappointment away.
"No, it is alright. We are not in the Cloud Recess. It is merely a habit.", he said. That was true, after all. If the situation called for it, staying up after nine was not such a terrible thing, and he had enough strength to make up for any lack of sleep he might suffer. The smile blossoming on Jiang Yanli's face was gentle, yet lit up her features and Wangji was struck by the sudden realization that Wei Ying had to have learned how to smile from her, at least in some capacity. He followed her down the corridors and into the Jiang's common room, where they sat at the table they had shared a few days ago. She poured tea for both of them and Wangji had to admit that it was lovely, if a little sweeter than he usually took his.
"So.", Jiang Yanli started when they had sat for a few minutes in comfortable silence. "You wish to court my little brother."
Wangji almost choked on his tea.
What startled him even more than the statement itself was that in the next instant, Lady Jiang was laughing at him . His expression must have mirrored his hurt and confusion, because she quickly extended a hand and patted his forearm gently. To his own surprise, it did not bother him, and he did not pull away.
"I'm sorry. I am merely teasing. Though I think you are being a little bit obvious with it." she winked and took another sip of her own tea. Wangji knew that his ears must be red, if not his entire face.
"I am?", he could not help but ask. Gods above, this was a far different conversation from what he thought he was about to have. He had not even talked to his own brother about his wishes in this direction, and he was pretty certain Xichen knew about his crush from day one.
"Maybe not to A-Xian, but when he woke up, and you saw him, I could not help but see your relief as anything else." she chuckled again and finally withdrew her hand. To his surprise, her touch had not bothered him as much as it did with most people. "But like I said, I'm only teasing."
"You do not...mind?" he dared to ask. It was one of his fears, if he looked deep inside. What if someone did not approve? It was not strictly forbidden to love another man, at least not in his sect, but he could never assume about others, did not know how the Jiang family went about these things. This was Wei Ying's elder sister, after all. If his family disapproved...
Jiang Yanli, however, only tilted her head.
"Why would I mind? A-Xian is very lovable.", she said and there was a certainty and confidence to the statement that made Wangji's eyes widen. He wondered suddenly why he had not had a proper conversation with Wei Ying's sister about...anything, really. She seemed far more agreeable than Jiang Wanyin was and now that they talked, Wangji could see so many things that Wei Ying probably learned from her and it was so interesting to see. So he now only nodded, though his ears did remain red. Maybe his lips were curving slightly, as well.
"Indeed", he whispered, gazing into his tea.
He heard her breathless chuckle and expected to be teased once more, but instead she touched his forearm again, drawing his gaze up to her. Her expression had turned serious once more, almost to the side of worry.
"You felt his missing core, too, did you not?", she asked. Wangji swallowed, then nodded. In the back of his mind, he wondered where Jiang Wanyin was, but maybe the Jiang disciples were having a late training.
"I did."
"Do you think it is possible to regain one's core? Would that help him with the resentful energy?", she asked. This time, Wangji's brows drew together. He was not happy to have to tell her this, slightly confused why nobody had told her about it, too. Not even the Nie Doctor or Wen Qing?
"It is not possible to cultivate a core again if it has been burned out by the core melting hand," he said. Jiang Yanli's expression turned into...something he could not quite place. It was confused, but also astonished, and then, somehow, sad.
"A-Xian's core wasn't melted.", she said.
Wangji blinked. The world seemed to disappear around him, as his thoughts began to race.
What? What??
Not melted , but what else-
" Hey wait, I remember you. Jiang Wanyin, right? Didn't we melt your core? How come you-"
Wen Chao's last words. He hadn't been paying attention, then, but now they came back to him. So that meant...
Jiang Wanyin's core had been melted. He and his family were recovering at Wen Qing's residence. For some reason that Jiang Wanyin also does not know, Wei Ying is very close with Wen Qing after their stay. A shared secret, maybe? From what he had overheard...
'It would break his heart' , Wei Ying had said.
This was not about him , how could he think it was? He had not seen Wei Ying in ages, not since the Xuanwu cave. This was about-
The door was suddenly flung open violently, making Wangji almost jump out of his skin.
"Ahhh Jin Zixun is the worst. Why did Zixuan even bring him? I swear, we would already be through these damn discussions ten times faster if-" the voice stopped, obviously spotting them. "What's he doing here, A-Jie?"
It was Jiang Wanyin .
Slowly, very slowly, Lan Wangji turned around to face him. His eyes roamed the young sect leader up and down, taking in his posture, the spiritual strength he emitted. On their flight here he had wondered since when Jiang Wanyin could match him in strength. He had assumed it was because he had been forced to become a sect leader, growing up fast because of the detriment of their clan. But no, now he knew. Now he was almost certain. He had never heard of such a thing being even possible, but then again wasn’t that the Jiang sect motto?
Wangji's golden eyes focused on Jiang Wanyin's lower meridian, and he felt a sudden need to stretch out his hand and try to feel it there.
If he reached for it, would he be able to feel Wei Ying's core reaching back to him?
The Jiang siblings talked, but Wangji did not hear what they were saying. Jiang Wanyin was briefly complaining, from his tone, but finally submitted to go to his rooms, turning in for the night. Then Jiang Yanli was back with him, her hand on its spot on his forearm.
"Lan Wangji?" she asked. Then, when he did not answer, because he suddenly felt as if he was going to be sick- "Wangji? A-Zhan?"
A blink, then another. Nobody had called him that since he was a child. So he slowly looked up, confused.
"Ah, there you are. I'm sorry, that was probably quite a shock, huh? You figured it out?" she smiled gently, petting his robes on his arm, then gently straightening out the fabric. "So smart," she praised and Wangji felt his ears reddening for a whole different reason. As renowned as he was, praise was not something his clan often handed out. They were more for punishment if you did something wrong. How was it he suddenly felt like a child in her presence? Was this why Wei Ying acted the way he did around her?
"How?", he croaked. His voice was so hoarse that he was puzzled, first. Then he realized that he had started to cry. "Why?", the next question flowed out of him.
"I do not know exactly how, if I am honest. I have only seen the surgery scar on his stomach.", Jiang Yanli explained. Her voice was lower now, probably so her younger brother would not hear them through the thin doors. She did not belittle his tears, nor comment on them, and he was grateful for it. "But I think I know why. My parents and A-Cheng too, to an extent... They blamed A-Xian for the Wen's attack on Lotus Pier." her lip quivered and Wangji opened his mouth to protest. How? How was the Wen's deranged notion to level clans that were geographically close to them and politically in their advantage to overtake Wei Ying's fault ?
"I know it is wrong, I know that, and I told him that blaming wouldn't help. But A-Xian was already blaming himself and I know that once he starts, it is so hard to get him away from an idea he sets his mind to." she swallowed, tears were glistening in her eyes.
"He thought it was penance?", Wangji heard himself asking, not certain where he found the voice around the giant lump in his throat. "A way to pay you back?"
Jiang Yanli nodded and the stone that had settled in the pit of his stomach only felt that much heavier. He was about to ask what they should do about this, what they could do. There had to be a way to make Wei Ying see, make him aware of how wrong he was, of how much he was worth to them -because he was pretty sure that Jiang Yanli agreed with him on many of these points. But they were interrupted again, when there was a knock at the door.
"Yes? Please enter.", Jiang Yanli answered. She wiped her eyes and in the last second, Wangji remembered to do the same to his face, ridding it of the tears.
"Hello, Lady Jiang. Is Wangji with y- Ah. " It was his brother's voice, and as he looked up, their eyes met. Xichen smiled at him, his question obviously answered. "I wondered where you went, it is past curfew.", he remarked. Of course, he also knew about this not being a big deal, but maybe he still worried. Wangji almost smiled at the prospect and a dark thought crossed his mind. If his brother would have lost his core in a battle he felt responsible for, would he not have done the same thing, given the opportunity?
With one last swallow of his tea, he stood and gratefully bowed to Lady Jiang.
"Thank you for the tea and...advice", he furrowed his brows slightly at the pause, not wanting to talk about this in front of his brother. "Good night, Lady Jiang."
"Please, call me Yanli, at least. A-Li is also fine, if you like.", she offered, but also bowed. "And you are welcome, Wangji." she smiled at him and tilted her head in question if that was okay to say. Wangji nodded. He saw Xichen lift an eyebrow, but he said nothing, instead holding the door.
"Good night then, Yanli.", he said and together, the two Jades of Lan left for their rooms.
That night, Wangji did not sleep well. He kept imagining what Wei Ying must have gone through in the last few months and each imagined scenario was worse than the last while he drifted in and out of an uneasy slumber with life-like images flashing across his mind. Had it hurt? The transfer? He could only barely grasp the concept of losing his core and he had his hand on his stomach through this whole thought process, feeling for the easy thrumming of his spiritual energy against his fingers.
What exactly was in the burial mounds, and how would Wei Ying keep from falling apart the instance he entered, like so many people before him? Was it because of the Resentful energy use that he had survived? What would it have looked like if he still had his core, would he have been able to get away quicker? Or would he not have been captured in the first place, maybe? All he could see is a Wei Ying barely able to stand after an actual body part was removed from him, only to be overcome by Wen Chao's men, beaten and tortured, branded -again- and then thrown-
His eyes flew open when he heard a very distant scream tear through the quiet night in the Unclean Realm. There was silence again, after, so he did not get up to look.
But he could have sworn, for a second, that the voice sounded like Wei Ying's.
Notes:
So yeah, LWJ knows now!!! Excitement.
I'm not so sure about the A-Ji nickname, it sounds a little weird to me. Is it too informal for her to call him A-Zhan? I thought it sounded better, but I also liked that normally only WWX calls him by his birth name. What do you think? (edit: Changed it to Wangji because the others are a bit too far in closeness. Maybe later ;D)
Anyway, I always thought these two would be GREAT friends (later in-laws x'D) so I just made that happen because I want it to and they both need it x). What do you think?
Fun fact: Lan Wangji mentions 'Wei Ying' more often than he does his own name in this chapter. This is a coincidence but when I discovered it I thought it was funny and also very on brand! :D
Next up: Wei Wuxian has another roof conversation, then we have some angsty flashbacks and evil inner voices...yeah sorry this chapter will be a bit intense. Past trauma and Cannibalism are some topics that emerge. ALSO a bit more vinegar because I can't help it apparently and WWX is a clueless fool.
Chapter 8: Just put down the bottle
Summary:
Wei Wuxian has another roof conversation, then we have some angsty flashbacks and evil inner voices...yeah sorry this chapter will be a bit intense. Past trauma and Cannibalism are some topics that emerge. ALSO a bit more vinegar because I can't help it apparently and WWX is a clueless fool.
Trigger warnings for past trauma, panick attacks and mentioned cannibalism!!
Notes:
Hi! Welcome back! :D
No really, thanks for all your feedback, you really help keep me motivated! <3 I think my plans for this have changed again but don't worry, I don't think you'll even notice hah. We're closing in on the big reveal (tm) and I for one am really looking forward to posting that chapter.For now though, we have to get through one more installation of WWX's very own descent into madness. He is not in a good mental place right now and the people around him keeping him kinda distant has not helped him cope so far.
If you want to skip the heavy-ish angst and flashbacks, you can stop reading after "Stumbling to his knees, he felt his lips quiver with it, felt the first tear falling." and start back up again at "In the present, he ate a few spoonfuls of the soup..."
Also: "Yínshí" is what I found to mean around 3am in ancient Chinese terms. If my research has lied to me pls tell me.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian
Once again, Wei Wuxian woke up with a scream.
Once again, it was the middle of the night and he was drenched with sweat, and once again, it took him quite some time to realize he was not where his nightmares had taken him and that he was not in danger. He panted, disoriented, for a few seconds, before he slumped back down from where he had apparently shot up, supporting himself by an elbow while his other hand went to his face. Covering his bleary eyes, he groaned quietly and fell back down to the mattress.
"A-Xian?!" the voice was panicked, drawing closer and without hesitation, the screen door to his room was torn open. "A-Xian what happened?!"
Oh. In his hurry to return quietly that late in the evening, the wine still burning through his system, he had forgotten to renew the silencing talisman on his door. That scream might not have been silenced. Wei Wuxian winced as his sister drew close. He instinctively retreated to the very end of the bed, holding out a hand for her not to come closer. There were still wisps of resentful energy flying about, and he didn't want her to touch him until he had himself under control. Half his mind was still far, far away and having someone touch him right now seemed worse than back where his nightmares had taken him.
"Ahh shijie, it's okay. I'm fine! G-Go back to sleep.", he placated, voice hoarse. But his retreat and overall demeanor clearly spoke another tone and as always, Jiang Yanli was not fooled. The worry on her face only deepened, but instead of forcing her presence on him, she gently took his hand that was sitting a bit closer to her, and squeezed it.
"A-Xian, please. I know what it looks like when you wake up from a nightmare. Stop lying to me." she tilted her head forward and Wei Wuxian knew exactly what she meant. After all, he had often woken from nightmares as a child, back when he was fresh from the streets. Dogs biting him, hunting him, the monsters that took his parents, ... there was enough trauma there to last a lifetime on its own, let alone feed the imagination of a child. His shijie had always been there, then, and held him, comforted him until his heart rate slowed and his thoughts turned coherent once again.
Stop lying to me.
The words echoed in his mind for several repetitions and his grey eyes found hers. His heart was still beating rabbit fast in his chest and the images from his dream layered over reality, whispers of darkness still fresh in his mind. He knew that she was stretching her arms so he could hug her, if he wanted. He knew that. And yet...
They think you're slipping.
She's probably still angry you ditched her and sent her away.
They don't think you can control it
Can you though?
Can you?
Use us. Take your revenge. They want it, too, they need you for their own revenge.
Just won't admit it-
"I...I need some fresh air.", was all he managed, before he stumbled past her, still panting, and barely managed to grab something to put over his night robes.
Next thing he knew, he stood outside, on a roof, his flute in hand. He barely remembered how he even got here and felt the cold enter his bones via his bare feet on the tiles below him. A harsh breeze whirled, tossing his open hair as well as light robes around, and he already knew that Wen Qing was going to chide him for this tomorrow, but he cared little, at this moment.
The wind cleared his mind, at least, and he stared at Chenqing in his hand. He didn't even remember taking it with him.
Closing his eyes, he sank down to the roof, folding his legs so his bare feet wouldn't touch the tile, and lifted the flute to his lips. Just one song...one song and he'd return to bed. He felt his eyes burning, but the images from the nightmare were still haunting him, so he needed this to calm down.
With practiced fingers, he played the melody that came easiest to him. He didn't even know where it was from, exactly, just that it had always calmed his mind and helped him stay sane. He knew it wasn't a Lan Clan melody, not one of the ones he knew at least, but it had this feeling to it that just seemed similar somehow.
"Wei Ying.", a voice startled him, but he didn't flinch, just stopped playing and lowered the flute. A small smile graced his face, but he barely opened his eyes. The presence came from the right, on the roof too, but the figure in white was standing, his robes slightly swaying in the wind.
"Lan Zhan. You're awake so late?", he asked.
"Could not sleep." he paused. "You're the one who's playing the flute on my roof at Yínshí." the statement wasn't judgmental, it was just that, a statement. Suddenly, Wei Wuxian found himself laughing. Honestly, that was just typical of him, wasn't it.
"I didn't even know this was your roof." he admitted, finally managing to calm down a bit. Just a moment later, Lan Zhan was in his view, sitting himself next to him. How did this man manage to look so tidy, even when dropping on top of some roof tiles? His white robes ordered themselves around him and his hair looked meticulously managed, even in the haphazard style he was wearing, almost simple. It reminded him of their teenage years, where he had worn it like this sometimes.
As always, Lan Zhan did not initiate a conversation. He just waited for Wei Wuxian to say something. In the last few days, he had been pressing, probing for a reaction from him, for an explanation for his techniques, for confirmations...but now he was quiet, subtly watching him from the side. Maybe it was the patience he seemed to emit that finally got Wei Wuxian to open his mouth.
"I had a nightmare", he blinked, surprising even himself that he admitted that.
"That was your scream?", Lan Zhan asked, eyebrows drawing together by a fraction.
"Oh, you heard that?" he chuckled nervously. "I forgot to renew the silencing talisman." he sighed, dropping his flute into his lap and stroking the decorations on it. "Wonder how many people I'm keeping awake right now." he mumbled, guilt clinging to his heart. He should have just sucked it up, hugged his sister until she was satisfied to have soothed him and sent her back to bed. Now when he glanced over he could see the slight frown of worry on Lan Wangji's fair features and his hand clenched together in his under robes, pinching himself as if that was punishment enough for causing the second Jade of Lan to look like that because of him.
"Not many. I was already awake.", Lan Zhan said, as if to sooth him. A small silence. "You played quietly.", he added as an additional reassurance. Again, Wei Wuxian couldn't help but smile. What was he even doing here? He should really leave.
"Oh? You always had such a good sleep schedule. Thoughts of a certain someone keeping you awake?", he teased, a playful grin shot to the side while his elbow slightly poked Lan Zhan's arm. Those golden eyes looked at him for several seconds, then came a very serious answer to his very not serious question:
"Yes."
Again, he started laughing, couldn't help it. Lan Zhan was always so serious.
"Hah I'm just teasing, Lan Zhan.", he wiped at his eyes, where tears of laughter had begun to form. Lan Zhan's face stayed serious.
"I am not.", he said, not taking his eyes off of him. Suddenly, Wei Wuxian went very still, blinking at the other man and feeling his cheeks flush.
"Oh...okay." he laughed one last time, breathless, then broke eye contact, suddenly finding many things more interesting than Lan Zhan staring at him. That intensity...no. No, he was just wishing for things, there was NO way that was true. He took a deep breath to slow his heart and force the blush from his face, blowing it out slowly through his mouth. Then he set his jaw, grabbed Chenqing a little tighter and stood. Enough indulgence. He tried to ignore that the sudden change in altitude made his head swim.
"I'm sorry to have lured you outside. I should probably go back." he hesitated. "Shijie was woken up, too, I should let her know I'm alright." He looked at his toes, curled them around the edge of a roof tile. Lan Zhan stood now, too, his expression unreadable once again.
"Are you? Alright.", he said, quietly, as if saying it louder might make it more real. Even though he had just sworn himself off the indulgence, Wei Wuxian dared to look into those lovely golden eyes again. They were glinting under the moonlight, and he had to swallow thickly to keep himself from staring.
"Yes.", he lied, smiling.
"I had tea with your sister last evening.", Lan Zhan suddenly said, when Wei Wuxian was about to turn away again. Confused, Wei Wuxian blinked at him.
"You did?" his eyebrows were raised, because he had not seen any evidence of that happening and Shijie hadn't told him about it. Then again, he did stay out late, got drunk and then snuck in when she was already in bed, so he supposed he didn't really give her an opportunity to do so.
"Yes, it was pleasant. I understand why you speak of her so often now." he said. Was that...a smile? Wei Wuxian blinked rapidly, because he was pretty sure that Lan Wangji's ears were pink. What...what was happening right now? Why w-
'Thoughts of a certain someone keeping you awake?' 'Yes'
No.
Nope. No. This was not happening. He shook his head as if to get his thoughts in order. Lan Zhan was just being nice. Lan Wangji was not in love with his sister.
Would that be such a bad thing though?
Wouldn't you like that more than the peacock?
Yeah, their engagement is broken off, Lan Wangji has a high standing, wouldn't that be good for the clan?
Haha you didn't really just think that he would think about you of all people, right?
Hahahahhah
His teeth clenched, and he suddenly felt his lip quiver.
"I-" he paused, blinked. "Yes, well, I'm glad you two bonded.", he pressed out, no idea where he got the mind to string together a proper sentence. Then he swallowed around the lump in his throat and bowed to Lan Wangji.
"Good night now, Hanguang-Jun. Sorry to keep you." and with that, he whirled around and ran off into the direction that he was pretty sure he had come from, bare feet pattering on the cold rooftops.
He didn't even hear Lan Zhan's answer.
When he got back to their rooms, his shijie was not there anymore. Maybe she had gotten the hint of him basically shoving her out of the way to flee outside. However, there was a cup of tea with a full teapot at his bed, as well as somehow, miraculously, a bowl of her lotus rib soup.
Slowly, feeling kind of numb and not just from his cold feet, Wei Wuxian closed the door, activated the silencing talisman and sat on the bed. He set down Chenqing on the nightstand, next to Suibian. His fingers lingered, just for a second, and stroked over the wood, tracing the letters that marked the sword's name.
In that second, it seemed to all come crashing down upon him.
Stumbling to his knees, he felt his lips quiver with it, felt the first tear falling.
Darkness surrounded him, swirling, beckoning, invading. There was no way out, he kept feeling like he was falling even when there was a dry, stony ground below him. Everything was dead, was he dead? He was not certain, for a while. The thirst for revenge, the permanent stench of resentment was seeping into his bones like poison, trying to swallow him. It was hard to breathe, even, let alone move a muscle. He barely managed to make himself aware of where he was and who he was, with so many voices whispering directly into his brain without having the grace of filtering through his ears.
Release us...
Free us...
"Urgh", he grumbled, holding his head and trying to shake off the flashback. No, he was not in the Burial Mounds anymore, he was here, in the Unclean Realm, there was no resentful energy surrounding him except his own and the tendrils he had strangely felt when he passed their training grounds. He had wanted to examine that phenomenon further, he remembered, because a cultivator's home usually never showed actual resentment, it was purged out without mercy or contained in a summoning chamber for when you had to deal with especially resentful spirits that could not be tamed out in the wild.
But that did not matter now. Now he was here, trying to banish his nightmares from his waking mind. He was so tired though, not having actually properly slept even when he lay down here. There was a reason that he had a silencing charm on the door, he had woken from restless sleep and shaken with nightmares and honestly, his siblings were already worrying enough about him. Wen Qing already had enough work with him. Lan Zhan already probed at him enough. He would try to not be such a burden, had tried to not be a burden.
Of course though, as always, he had utterly and totally failed.
Shijie had looked so worried today, when she had woken from his scream. He knew she was worried anyway, could see it in every gesture, in the looks she gave him. She wanted him to open up, but he couldn't burden her with that, not with this. If she knew, she would tell Jiang Cheng. And Jiang Cheng would not handle it well. They were in the middle of a war, there was no way they could falter. Jiang Yanli and Jiang Cheng were the only two members of the Jiang clan left alive. They could not be walking around putting all their attention on him when he should be the one assisting them, helping them in rebuilding the sect.
And Lan Zhan, oh Lan Zhan...he had asked if he was alright, had listened to him talk about having nightmares. He was always so nice and considerate, even apologizing for not being able to do more. Of course he had questions, of course he wanted answers. Nobody had ever used resentful energy the way he had, the dark arts were dangerous, were harmful to the caster as well as the people around him. But no, he had it under control, he did. He did!
His fist clenched on the floor, the other closing in his hair, where a headache was starting to bloom. Maybe he should drink the tea, he decided, vision still blurry through the tears. He was losing liquids, he had drunk more than he had meant to that evening, too. That was probably the reason for his exhaustion, right? That and it was most definitely why he was on the floor right now, and not on the bed or well...still standing.
Wei Wuxian sighed deeply and reached for the teacup that was already filled. A smile filtered through at the thought of his shijie having filled it for him so he already had a cup ready for himself without having to wait for it to cool. He downed it in one go, set the cup back down and then reached for the soup. Still on the floor, he adjusted his seat so he leaned against the bed and stared at the soup.
Gods above, he used to love this soup. It was his Shijie's specialty. But now, now it had a strange tinge to it because…because there was meat in there.
Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath, trying to banish the images out of his head.
Hungry, so hungry...he had tried to move, tried to find a way out, but there was only thick smoke, only desperate flight to a cave that he could protect. Out there were only bones, only corpses, only-
He remembered that moment very well, when he realized his only option. It was very much possible that this moment would haunt him for the rest of his life.
A chuckle escaped him, quietly wondering how long that would still be, anyway.
But he had to hold out, at least until the war was over, until he could end the war, no matter the cost to himself. He had his siblings to protect, after all, and he would be damned if he broke another promise.
Now he closed his eyes, letting the tears fall further. They had not stopped, and he wondered if they ever would. Probably when his body ran out of liquid to spare. He stared at the soup again, thinking about taking a bite. He was hungry, yes, but not on the level from back then, not since he woke up here. There were regular meals, and although he was often not in the mood to eat, either his siblings or Wen Qing often nudged or even forced him to. They were right to do it, of course, but he had seen their questioning glances of him avoiding the meat.
It wasn't so much the taste of the meat that was the problem, he had realized. That's why eating the soup and other things with meat in it was mostly okay. It was the texture. When he had escaped that horrible place, he had to go get some food and new clothes. It had been a scramble to get that at all, but he had been able to help someone with carrying a few things, even in his state, and they had given him enough money as thanks to buy what he needed. He had tried something on a market stall, then, and it had contained meat. At first, he had not thought about it, his mind clearly wanting to just pretend everything was normal again now that he was out. But as soon as his teeth had gnawed through the first tender strands of flesh, he found himself next to the vendor's cart, throwing up everything he had eaten. The vendor thought it was because of his food and hastily gave him some money back so he wouldn't make a fuss, but Wei Wuxian knew what had happened and just looked for a stall with something without meat for that moment.
In the present, he ate a few spoonfuls of the soup, chewed on a lotus root with only a little gusto, and felt his tears finally die down. There was still a gnawing in his chest and doubtful voices in his head, of course, but he tried to make himself aware that these two things would probably never really go away.
A sigh escaped his lips now, and he carefully took Suibian off the table after he set the soup down on the edge, staring at it. It was a beautiful sword, he had always thought so. And for these long months, he thought he would never be able to wield it again. That was at least true, that assumption. He never would. He had it, right here, and he would not be able to draw it. Even with all the resentful energy he cultivated, with how much control he had over it, it was not the same as a golden core and its connection to the sword it was cultivated with. Never again would Suibian sing with his movements.
His silver eyes closed as he tried to make himself at peace with that.
He had, he truly had, he thought. The moment he had given his core away he was aware that the sword was not something for him anymore. Of course he was aware of that, of course. But still...having it here made him think. Could he use resentful energy in a similar way? Could he truly cultivate with it like his personal, spiritual energy would be able to?
Curiosity had always been one of his drives. Nothing was able to sooth it until he got to try what he wanted to try, and this was certainly no exception.
So he ignored that he was still bone tired, ignored that he was still half drunk or barely dressed or that there was now a silencing charm on his door, and sat down across from his bedside table in a meditative position, crossing his legs. Then he took Suibian in front of him in a horizontal position, preparing to draw it.
The sword had been inactive for several months, he knew. He had to be careful with this. Relatively speaking, he was aware that his core had been a strong one, had driven a high amount of energy through his body and through this sword. He was aware because he felt its absence even more because of it. Now, he concentrated on the hole inside him, on the energies he had gathered there and on the secret amulet he had hidden in his robes near his heart, even ticked away in his night robes.
With a determined frown, he unsheathed the hilt from the scabbard, just a little.
Immediately, energy was screaming at him.
Not only from the sword, which only carried the remaining energy from the last time he had wielded it, but also from inside of him, resentful, deadly and fierce. The different types of energy were battling fiercely before he could intervene, before he could even dream of trying to control them and make them bond together.
Instead of wrestling for control, he very, very quickly found himself battling with his consciousness.
Wei Wuxian cursed, tried to stabilize himself, but thereby only succeeded to draw the sword out further-
Only a second later, he was sprawled on the floor. There was a sharp pain in his head, then he heard himself growl, then silence.
Finally, there was nothing but darkness again.
Notes:
Oh Wei wuxian. Here we have Faint No. 2.
Mh, I hope that whole resentful energy vs spiritual energy stuff makes sense. As far as I understood, Wei Wuxian cultivates the resentful energy in a similar sense that a 'normal' cultivator would use spiritual energy, meaning that it travels around his meridians (spiritual paths). To me this means that he still has the paths and they still work, and maybe he even has spiritual energy mixed with the resentful one, but the spiritual energy just has nowhere to gather and be effective and protect him, like it would with a golden core (which is kind of the center of the whole spiritual network for a cultivator). So not having a core, he gathers the resentful energy in there and since it's dark energy, that's...not so healthy. The voices in his head are the resentful spirits in this energy as well as from the Yin iron. I can see WWX always kinda having lil voices in his head tbh, so he just thinks this is normal, but really they were replaced by these resentful ones, and it damages his mind now as well as his body...
That's just my thoughts on that tho! Soft magic system means I get to do what I want right? :DANYWAY I hope you still enjoyed that hah. What do you think will happen in the morning? Will someone find him?
Also as to why he's actually worse off than he is in the show; Do you know if he is? He was kinda hiding everything during this period. We saw him screaming while meditating (and nobody reacted to that?!?) and saw him waking up from nightmares several times during the rest of the story, so I figured he's probably doing his best to not let anyone know how bad it really is. Nobody can tell me he just shrugs off not being able to wield Suibian like it's nothing.
Next up: Yunmeng family moments with Yanli, scolding for recklessness for WWX, hurt/comfort things, tears and released emotions, talks about secrets.
Chapter 9: Engage with the Pain as a Motive
Summary:
Yunmeng family moments with Yanli, scolding for recklessness for WWX, hurt/comfort things, tears and released emotions, talks about secrets.
CW for suicidal ideation.
Notes:
Welcome back my lovelies :) I hope you had a nice week! Camp Nano is drawing to an end, and I've reached my 30k words goal this week, so that's nice. It's mostly this fic, but I'm not that far ahead hah x'D I'm downing the goal of 25 chapters to 20 chapters though, I condensed quite a bit of the story down for more efficiency. It still has everything I wanna write tho! But it also means we'll get there quicker so yay :D
Anyway...I hope you enjoy Yanli's fretting x) She's not having the best time :)
Note: Lan-er-gonzi = second young master Lan
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Yanli
Yanli's capacity to wait patiently was drawing to a limit.
She had been watching her brother arrive without a core, seething with resentful energy and severely wounded. She saw him withdraw from her and thought that maybe he just needed time. There had been a good hug and some crying, and she had been hopeful that he would open up to them after that.
Unfortunately, that was not the case.
Instead, she was woken by a scream in the middle of the night only to find him sweating, distressed and on the verge of a panic attack. He dodged her comfort and instead ran out, but took his flute with him. She listened to the sound of it for a second, trying not to cry herself at the thought of him alone on that roof and that he preferred that to her embrace, in the end.
"Is he okay?", A-Cheng interrupted her dark thoughts from over at the door.
"I don't think so.", she admitted, sighing. A-Cheng was rubbing his eyes and yawned, but he pursed his lips, clearly also not happy with her assessment and also obviously believing it.
"I'm going to tell the guards that they don't need to panic.", he said, sighed, and disappeared for a second. Then, when he was back, they made eye contact and something happened that she had not expected; A-Cheng opened his arms for her.
"Come on. I know you want to do it. If the asshole isn't going to do it I might as well provide." there was a cheeky smile on him, but she ignored it and instead chuckled, accepting the invitation for a hug. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of warmth around her, trying to seep her worries away with it soaking into her skin. A-Cheng was radiating a warmth she didn't quite remember him always having, and she felt her heart contract at the thought that A-Xian's core might be the source of this. If that meant that A-Xian lost aspects of himself, too, by losing his core...no, she didn't want to think about that right now.
"A-Cheng", she whispered into his shoulder.
"Mh?" he asked, she felt a huff of his breath in her hair and smiled at it.
"I'm proud of you, you know that, right?", she whispered into the fabric of his purple over robe he had clearly just thrown over to check on their brother because of the scream. She knew he didn't like to talk about these things, but she had to be sure. At some point he was going to find out about the core transplant, and she didn't want him to think all his accomplishments were worth nothing on his own merit.
He was silent for a long moment, but his breathing and heartbeat were steady, so she just assumed he was thinking of what to say.
"I am proud of all of us." he took a deep breath, and maybe he also actually kissed the top of her head, and maybe she was actually crying now, just a little. There was a time he would have squirmed out of her touch, maybe even insulted her as a defense. She was glad his sleepy 2am self at 19 was a little more mature about receiving a compliment. "But thank you, A-Jie." he drew back a little and Yanli let go of him too, wiping at her eyes. She wished she had said these things more often, she wished she had heard them more often, she wished her parents would have done many things differently. She wished, she wished...
"I'm scared for A-Xian," she finally admits, quietly. A-Cheng only nods, his expression is grim now and his hands ball into fists.
"He's supposed to heal, not make you worry even more." he huffed through his nose. "Where did he go, should I go get him?", he offered. Yanli shook her head no.
"No, leave him be. I think he just needs to cool off, he had a nightmare." she frowned. "Did you know he has a silencing talisman on his door?", she asked. As she expected, A-Cheng does not, because his eyebrows first shoot up in astonishment, then all the way down in realization. It would have been comical if the situation wasn't so serious.
"For the nightmares?" when she nodded as an answer, he whispered "Shit." and drew his hand over his face. "He used to come to us for those.", he sounded almost miserable and Yanli nodded, agreeing.
"I'm going to go get him some tea and soup and set it down for him when he gets back." she sighed, then pushed her brother in the direction of his chambers. "You should go back to sleep. There's another meeting tomorrow morning, right?"
"Yeah. Now that Zewu-Jun is there we're going to advance much faster." A-Cheng frowned in the direction of their brother's room. "I'd want him to be in that one, actually.", he said. With a sigh, Yanli nodded while she went over to one of the side tables to prepare the tea.
"I will wake him on time, then.", she said. She did not mention the alcohol she smelled on their brother's breath when she had tried to comfort him, nor the black tendrils coming off of him before he could reign them in. The flute outside had stopped, and it was quiet again in the Unclean Realm, though the playing had only been obvious because she had listened for it.
"Good night, A-Jie." A-Cheng finally said and she smiled over at him.
"Good night, A-Cheng. Sleep well."
She closed the door behind her when she finished the tea and soup and had set them down on A-Xian's night table. She had considered waiting for him inside, to talk to him and coax something out of him, but...but she knew that it would probably only make him hesitant to come to her next time. So she remained, not as patiently as she'd wished, in the common room and waited for the noise of her brother's door to open.
It did, finally, and then there were steps, and then all noise died. She sighed, realizing that he had probably reactivated the silence talisman, and then went back to bed herself.
~
The next morning started off innocently enough. A-Cheng got up early, dressed and set down to meditate in the common room while she got them breakfast. The kitchens were busy, the servants greeted her with joy and for a second, she thought today could be the day when things finally made a turn for the better.
It all turned around for the worse instead, when she tried to wake A-Xian for breakfast.
"A-Xian?" she knocked, and received no answer. Well, if he had a silencing talisman she could also not hear him answering the door, so she probably just couldn't hear his tired grumble. She snickered to herself, A-Cheng still eating his breakfast in the background, and carefully pushed the door screen to the side.
"A-Xian!" she squeaked in panic, because she immediately saw him on the floor. Her gasp was loud enough to make A-Cheng behind her get to his feet immediately while she herself sprinted forward, grabbing A-Xian’s shoulder.
He was so pale.
After testing that he was breathing -luckily, he was- she finally took in the scene that she found him in. The starkest thing was the blood. She noticed that his head had a bump on the side that had stopped bleeding by now, but there was quite a bit on the ground. Mixed with it was the soup she had left on his nightstand and the bowl as well as the tea cup were also on the floor.
The most prominent thing though, was his sword. It was unsheathed and the implications behind this position made Yanli's lip tremble and her eyes sting.
"A-Cheng, go get Wen Qing, now!", she raised her voice, not sure if she needed to, because A-Cheng looked over the chaos with as much worry on her face as she felt.
"Is he-", A-Cheng asked, probably had to ask, because his own panic was building.
"He's breathing, but he won't wake up." she hesitated. "Tell her he tried to draw Suibian."
"Why is that im- Ah whatever.", A-Cheng apparently decided that this discussion could wait for later, and she was glad for it. Then he was gone and that's when Yanli let herself let out the sob she was holding in, wiped away the tears as quickly as she could and took A-Xian into her lap. Since she had just turned him over, she now tried to shake him awake gently.
No reaction.
Feeling the wound on his head carefully, she decided that even though it had bled, it was most probably only a surface wound, and left it alone. She didn't have much spiritual energy to heal him with, and the wound would have to be cleaned and dressed anyway. Then there was the issue of Suibian...
Carefully, Yanli lifted the sword off the ground. A-Xian's fingers had gone limp around it, so it was easy to ply from his hands. She also picked up the scabbard and reunited the two, sheathing the sword in the process. It clicked shut with an unusual sound and just to be sure and because it was kind of weird, she tried to draw it again.
It did not open.
Her eyebrows rose, but she thought nothing of it, putting it aside for now. Instead, she felt A-Xian's wrist, trying to discern his level of spiritual energy floating through his pathways. Indeed, it was dangerously low or rather almost not detectable. Yanli was not an expert, but she still started to transfer him at least a little bit, so he could stabilize. Without a core it might have nowhere to collect, but it was still important to keep a small amount in his system. At least that was what Wen Qing had told her.
Finally, because he was still not waking, she put her finger to his pulse, hugged him to her and felt him breathe in ragged breaths. He was only wearing his night robes and trousers, no shoes, and his skin was cold while his forehead was warm. It wasn't a fever, but it was definitely covered in a sheen of sweat.
"A-Xian", she whispered, pleaded. "What have you done?", she sobbed, feeling the tears coming without her being able to hold back now.
It was only a second later that the door to the room flung open and A-Cheng hurried in, together with Wen Qing and Wangji. How he had come to be in the healing quarters, she did not know, but she suspected that he overheard and of course came to hurry here if he heard that A-Xian was in trouble.
"Oh no...", Wen Qing sighed and kneeled beside her. She took in the scene very quickly and started to feel for his energies herself.
"Wei Ying!", Wangji said, clearly panicked. She nodded at him, still crying, so it was probably not encouraging, and decided she should probably say something, too, because Lan Wangji looked like he was about to interrupt Wen Qing's work to hold A-Xian himself.
"He's breathing. But he tried to draw Suibian. I found it unsheathed." she pointed at the sword. As if to distract himself, Wangji picked it up carefully, cleaning it of the blood and soup that clung to the outside that she didn't even see before. He used a white cloth he took out of his sleeve and when he was done, he wanted to move to the inside, probably, but frowned, when the sword did not open.
"It's sealed.", he observed with a breath.
"What?!", A-Cheng hissed. "No way." and without leaving room for protest from Wangji, he took Suibian into his hand and yanked on the handle.
It came free.
"See, bullshit." A-Cheng grinned. "No way Wei Wuxian cultivated enough that his sword sealed itself."
"Mn...." Wangji said, but he seemed skeptical. He still took the sword back though, unsealed as it was, and started to clean it with his cloth which then quickly disappeared again. He set the sword down, sealed back up, and put it to the wall on the side where it was less obvious to be seen than on the nightstand.
This whole affair went down while Wen Qing was treating A-Xian, or rather, just observing.
"He's been almost depleted of energy, so it's good that you found him when you did", she grumbled. "The head wound shouldn't be a problem, but we should see if he has a concussion when he wakes up. He probably lost consciousness due to his trial with the sword." she pointed her thumb at Suibian.
"Yeah, why though? Has his energy still not returned to the level he can use it yet?", A-Cheng asked.
Pointedly, all three of them ignored him.
"He is also still heavily intoxicated", she said, and her voice was a low growl.
"He drank?", Jiang Cheng asked, perplexed. Yanli looked at Lan Wangji, whose face was torn between displeasure and pain.
"You knew?" she asked, eyebrow raised.
"Well...he was a little uneasy on his feet.", Wangji said, swallowing. That's how Yanli knew that they apparently met each other last night. She did not ask further but only barely managed to hold back her smile.
"Help me get him on the bed, Lan-Er-Gonzi," Wen Qing ordered, and of course, Wangji immediately jumped in to help. Contrary to what she would think he would do, namely take his shoulders while Wen Qing took his legs, he scooped A-Xian up like he was weightless and gently lay him down on the bed. Letting go of him was a longer process than it could have been, but Wen Qing and Yanli herself only slightly smiled at that and let him do it. Then Wen Qing continued. "Now give him some of your energy. He was depleted so at least his flow should be reinstated. That should also help with the wound but let me sit there for that." she sat next to him, closer to A-Xian's head, while she let Lan Wangji settle at his hip with A-Xian's hand in his, to feed him his clear blue spiritual energy directly into his wrist.
A-Cheng stood by the door and the way his eyebrows twisted she could tell that he was nervous. Yanli herself now got up from her spot on the floor and looked at the mess there. Clearly, Wen Qing had this handled, so she decided to keep herself busy. She got the bowl off the ground as well as the cup, glad that both were still intact and did not hurt A-Xian further. Then she quietly asked A-Cheng if he could bring her a rag to clean with, and some water and soap. He only blinked first, then nodded and disappeared from the room.
"We have to tell him. It is going to be very obvious very soon.", Wen Qing said. To her surprise, Wangji nodded with a stern expression, his spiritual energy still flowing. He looked at A-Xian's face and sighed.
"Wei Ying will not agree."
"I don't care. He could have died tonight had Lady Jiang not found him in time. The head wound could have been deeper. He could have thrown up from the alcohol and drowned in it-"
"Wow. Your confidence in me is astounding.", came a low grumble from the bed. Wangji immediately let go of his hand and stopped transmitting, but there was a clear relief on his face, as was on everyone’s present.
"A-Xian!", Yanli couldn't help but exclaim, feeling her lips pull into a smile, and she stopped picking up pieces of the soup from the floor to stand and see his face over the heads of his two helpers on the bed. He had started to lift his hand to touch his probably aching head, but Wen Qing slapped his fingers away immediately.
"Don't you dare move, I literally have a needle inside your head right now so don't test me." she said, and she was indeed just stitching up his head wound with a needle and some twine.
"Ouch! I can tell okay. Grumpy."
"I'm grumpy ?! No, I'm livid, you gave your sister the scare of her life right now! She found you sprawled on the floor, covered in blood and soup with your sword out that you shouldn't even be touching. And also" she paused and then semi violently shoved his shoulder but in a way that wouldn't actually tear at the stitch she just finished. "You were drinking last night?!"
Another wince from A-Xian and he grimaced. He only swallowed though, not answering. So Wen Qing kept going.
"I told you not to drink at all, but of course you ignore me. Again. Your tolerance is not the same as before, Wuxian. Your body won't just burn the alcohol away, it's going to stay for several hours.", she explained. All A-Xian did say to that was giving a chuckle.
"That just means I have to pay less for more enjoyment. Saves me money!" he grinned and Yanli did want to smile, but she also saw it for what it was; a distraction.
"A-Xian, please. Let us help you." she said. Maybe her having tears in her eyes still helped a little, because A-Xian visibly struggled, brows drawn together and lips pressed.
"I don't think you can help me, really.", he finally said, very quiet. A short glance was shot to Wen Qing.
Ah. He thought he was still alone in his secret, then. Well, him and Wen Qing. But she supposed that he didn't really count her since she had done the operation. Yanli sighed deeply.
"A-Xian. If you'd only talk to me-"
"Here, the- Oh you're awake.", A-Cheng interrupted her. She damned his timing for entrances, right now he should not be listening to this conversation in the first place. Also, as soon as A-Cheng entered the room, she saw A-Xian tense, if only a little. What was that about, exactly? Well, she knew that A-Cheng had a rough way about him and that he was especially sensitive to A-Xian's shenanigans. But they hadn't actually fought since A-Xian was back...right? Or had she missed something?
"Well, that's good then. You can still come to the meeting. We're already late anyway.", he said. "I met Nie-Xiong on the way and send him ahead to tell them why we're delayed. Hanguang-Jun, too."
Wangji's face pulled a little, but he inclined his head.
"Thank you. I did not warn my brother.", he said. Wen Qing just sighed, shaking her own head as an answer.
"I think Wei Wuxian should be in bed, today. I need to bind the head wound and still feed it with energy, so it won't be as visible. I don't think he should show up with a bound head to a war meeting when he hasn't actually been in battle. There will be far too many questions." Wangji nodded along with her, but A-Cheng only huffed, his mouth a slight sneer.
"Damn right. They already question enough because you don't carry your damn sword.", he said. Another minute flinch went through A-Xian and Yanli just wanted to shove the other two on the bed aside and hug him to her and make it all better again. But they weren't children anymore, and it wasn't that simple. She saw all three on the bed had tensed because of the sword topic and sighed, folding her arms.
"A-Cheng. I told you to let the sword topic rest.", she chided.
"Y-you did?", A-Xian whispered, obviously stunned. A-Cheng just shrugged.
"I know. Why though? He obviously tried to draw it tonight. Is there..." he hesitated, finally looking his brother in the eye, who was still kind of staring at Yanli. "Is there something really wrong with you? Something that can't be treated?" when A-Xian only looked away from him, his lips as closed as if a silencing spell made them, he looked to Wen Qing instead. Instead of also lying to him, she squeezed A-Xian's shoulder and gave A-Cheng a serious doctor expression.
"Unfortunately, yes.", she said and Yanli as well as A-Xian gasped. Wangji only lifted an eyebrow at her. "I'm very sorry to tell you, Sect Leader Jiang, your brother has an incurable case of idiocy."
A short silence.
A-Cheng burst out laughing, hard.
"Seriously, Wen Qing?", A-Xian grumbled. But he seemed not actually hurt, rather slightly betrayed, and Yanli understood where Wen Qing might be going with this.
"It's what you deserve after that stunt" she hissed and Yanli barely heard her say this because she herself was giggling maybe more than she should and A-Cheng was straight up on the floor, holding his stomach. Fortunately for them, he had set down the tub with water right after coming in, because that would have been messy.
This went on for probably a full minute and Yanli could see that even though he rolled his eyes, A-Xian also joined in with a smile, which made her look to Wangji, and she was happy to see that his face seemed relaxed, if still a little drawn in worry, but his lip was curving slightly.
"In all seriousness though," Wen Qing continued, after A-Cheng could sit up again without falling into more giggles. "You should rest, Wuxian. And you two are probably required at that discussion thing, right?" She looked at A-Cheng and Wangji and both of them nodded, even if it's a reluctant admission. Wangji gazed at A-Xian on the bed and hesitated while A-Cheng picked himself up off the floor. Finally, Wangji apparently decided to go for it, because he leaned forward and wiped away some of the dried blood in A-Xian's hair.
"Wei Ying..." he started. He seemed to struggle for the right words. A-Xian waited patiently, his eyes a little wide at the sudden touch. "Be more careful? Please?" he flicked his eyes to Wen Qing, who only frowned at him, but then quickly back to A-Xian. "Listen to the Doctor's orders.", he said, then drew a deep breath. "I will play for you when I get back." His words left no room for protest, but they were still gentle.
Miraculously, A-Xian only swallowed and nodded.
This time, there was no heated argument or scornful glares, only A-Xian's slightly pink cheeks and Wangji's pink ears and honestly, Yanli had to hold back a squeal really hard right now because these two were so clueless and so adorable.
"Okay, Lan Zhan.", he said in a small voice, almost breathless, and only watched as Wangji and A-Cheng left the room without many further words. Then he kept staring, eyebrows drawing together, as if he tried to make sense of what had just happened. Yanli sighed.
"You had him very worried. All of us, actually," she said, now taking the seat that Lan Wangji had just vacated. She took A-Xian's hand and squeezed it a little to draw his attention. It worked, because A-Xian looked at her, saw the worry and the tear tracks on her face, and his expression crumbled even further. Wei Wuxian would take all blame and suffering onto himself, but if he was able to help others, he would. If he hurt others, those he loved, he would try to do anything but.
"I'm sorry, Shijie. I-" he hesitated. "I just wanted to..." he stopped himself and Yanli sighed deeply. Her other hand also closed around his, and she looked up at Wen Qing. She was frowning still, but when she saw Yanli's look, her eyes turned questioning.
Yanli made a decision.
"I have a confession to make, A-Xian." she said, voice kept sad and drawn.
"What?", A-Xian asked, confused. She knew that he would bear pain into himself all he could, but she also knew that he would never be mad at her for long, nor she at him. So she assumed that this was probably a dirty strategy, but something that seemed necessary after he almost died on her today.
"When you arrived here, I examined you first, Wangji and A-Cheng brought you to me directly."
"Wangji? Is that what you call Lan Zhan now?", there’s amusement in his voice but also a deeper burried level of hurt that she doesn’t quite understand.
"Don't interrupt me, please.", she said, but she smiled and nodded. It was what she called him now, yes. They were friends and soon would be family, and she would be damned if she didn't show it with her words.
"I examined you like I would any patient, I checked your pulse, eyes, checked for wounds, then I felt your core." she made a pregnant pause and made eye contact with her brother then, still holding his hand. A-Xian immediately turned pale.
"No..." his breathing accelerated, and he looked to Wen Qing as if expecting her to help him. Wen Qing herself didn't interfere, just scooted back a little so she wouldn't be so close to the two of them. A-Xian drew himself up, luckily not drawing back his hand, and forced himself into a sitting position. She could feel his pulse race under her fingertips and Wen Qing looked displeased, but let him. She knew this was a sticky situation and probably understood that lying down for this would be a bit weird.
"I didn't want to believe it, at first. I never actually felt for it when A-Cheng's core was missing, but I had hope that you were just depleted of energy and that's why you collapsed. So I had a doctor brought to us, he examined you, and then he proved my hypothesis right." she sighed while A-Xian looked more and more frenzied, gaze flying between his sister and Wen Qing, as if she would rescue him somehow, but she only smiled in sympathy and put a hesitant hand on his shoulder, patting it twice, then letting go again. Yanli continued.
"He also asked me if you had any surgery in the last month.", she held her upper hand to her own stomach and drew a finger over the part where his scar was. "He showed me your scar and said it must have required a great amount of skill on the doctor's part." she shot a glance at Wen Qing herself, then, continued on. A-Xian still stared, eyes wide as a doe, pulse racing like a bunny's would.
"Also, he assumed it might have not been consensual." she paused there, raising an eyebrow. A-Xian's eyes widened even more, and he shook his head so fiercely that his vision must be swimming, with his head wound still there.
"No, I mean yes, it was consensual, o-on my part at least, I wanted-"
"You gave it to A-Cheng?", she asked. His face crumbled, again, but then he nodded. He didn't manage to actually answer now, but she understood. Her own eyes had started to water, at the whole situation, at her brother's inner suffering, generally at the turmoil still inside her since Lotus Pier. "And you lied to him about what actually happened?" she asked and another nod was given, this time from Wen Qing as well. Yanli sighed, finally, and wiped at her eyes. She leaned forward to do the same to A-Xian, whose tears had started to fall shortly after she had confessed to knowing. She hated to see him this way, but maybe it was necessary.
"I think we should tell A-Cheng."
"See, that's what I told him, too.", Wen Qing said.
"No.", A-Xian said at the same time, determination on his face. "Jiang Cheng will-"
"Think that you lied to him? You did, A-Xian. But continuing to keep it secret from him won't make it go away. He already drew your sword when nobody else could, and he's not dumb. He'll figure it out sooner or later and then he'll feel even more betrayed." she sighed, again, and patted her brother's hand. "I know you were probably never going to tell me, but I'm glad I found out." she moved her thumb over his hand rhythmically. "I also don't regret telling Wangji."
"WHAT?!" A-Xian's voice was louder than probably even he intended. "Lan Zhan knows?! How- since when??!"
"Since we had tea together yesterday"
"Oh my god." A-Xian tore his hand from hers and frantically drew his fingers through his hair, his breathing accelerating dangerously close to hyperventilation. "That's not good, what if he..." she could see the gears in his head turning, and he was clearly panicking, his fingernails digging into his skull.
Worried, Yanli scooted forwards, stretching out her hand towards him and-
"AH!" she yelped, when something stung her, sharply. What was that!?
That's when she saw it again, the tendrils of black smoke coming off her brother, while his jaw was clenched, and his eyes focused on the middle distance.
At her cry, he looked up sharply, grey eyes wide and regret immediately flooding his features.
"Shijie!" he hissed, withdrawing as if fearing to hurt her further.
"It's fine, I'm fine!" she insisted, because really, it had just stung for a short moment, she didn't even notice it anymore. It was a bit like touching a flame but withdrawing early enough to avoid a burn. Still, Wen Qing patiently took her hand and turned it over, looking at it.
"She is unharmed.", she declared, then she leveled her gaze at A-Xian. "Wei Wuxian, I need you to breathe with me, okay? Slowly, in and out, try to look at my breathing, in and out..." she trailed off, repeating an up and down hand movement with her own breathing while trying not to get too close to him, too. It would help better if she could touch him, Yanli knew, but sometimes that wasn't possible and right now, with the resentful energy coming off, it was even dangerous to do so. So this would have to do.
Instead of watching her however, A-Xian closed his eyes, face scrunched up as if wrestling with pain and something else -control? Wen Qing now also raised her hand, maybe to get his attention, but apparently he did notice that.
"No...no stay away. I'm sorry, I'm sorry ..." his voice got louder, then more quiet than ever, and since he couldn't scramble away from the two of them farther, he apparently decided that he needed to get away. Again.
Yanli saw it coming, so she found herself springing up, catching her brother by the wrist, when he was already almost past her. It burned, the contact, with the smoke coming off of him, but she held tight, wincing but powering through it.
"A-Xian please. Let us help you. You need to rest. It will be oka-"
"Okay!?" her brother yelled and this time, Yanli did flinch visibly. His eyes widened when he sensed her touch on his wrist, saw how her hand was shaking and tugged his arm away. It was testament to how weak his body was that he could not make her let go like that simply. "Shijie, let go, it's hurting you, I-"
"Then control it!", she said. "You can, can't you? I've never known you to take up things you cannot master." that was not true, he did that very often, but she was not going to point that out. Also, when A-Xian failed at something, he got back up until he mastered it, often with unparalleled speed. She had always admired him for it, and she knew that many others did, too.
A-Xian blinked, confused at the confidence, but promptly closed his eyes. A deep breath later the pain in her hand subsided, the smoke on A-Xian's arm trickling to a halt. Still though, A-Xian's other arm shot forward, and he separated his wrist from her hand, stumbling a bit and then turning around to walk through the still half open door to the common room. He paused, for a second, then headed to the side, where the door headed outside their rooms in the other direction than the one in his.
"Wei Wuxian, no! Don't make me come over there and needle you into lying back down!" Wen Qing spoke up, standing and walking after him. Yanli followed, a worried little sigh escaping her.
"A-Xian-"
"Stay away!" that was a full yell now, and she could have sworn that a strong burst of energy emitted a soft wave going through her, making her hair go with it like it would a strong breeze. They both stopped, swallowing. A-Xian had stopped as well now, almost at the door to the outside, but facing them while they had fully stepped into the room, too. Yanli bitterly recalled the last meal they had shared here, at that table, submerged in comfortable chatter.
"Why?" A-Xian asked, suddenly, into the oppressive quiet of them not knowing if they should start to tackle him and drag him back to bed or see if he would come willingly. "Why would you even want to help me anymore? I'm a hopeless case anyway." he chuckled, but it was so bitter and his smile was so pained that Yanli could only gasp with the tightening it caused in her chest.
"Why do you think that?", Yanli asked, quietly, slowly drawing closer to her brother. "Because you can't draw your sword?" That only caused another bitter chuckle and A-Xian closed his eyes, another tear falling. Every single one of them made her only want to draw closer, make the hurt go away, bundle him up and shield him from whatever made him think so.
"The damn sword. That's the least of my worries." he looked like he wanted to spill it out all then and there, but some determination set back in and his face hardened. "I will end this war, shijie. I'll end it and I will protect you and Jiang Cheng. I'll keep my promise even if it kills me." he took a deep breath. "Just like your mother wished." he chuckled again as if there was a joke in there somewhere.
Yanli had never found anything less amusing.
"My mother..." she whispered, repeating that last bit, blinking. Something dawned on her, that conversation they had in Yiling, the one where A-Xian had told her that he thought it was his fault that Lotus Pier ended up like it did...that had been her mother's doing? Had she been the one to plant that into his head, to make him think he had to account for thousands of lives being lost? Her father had also asked A-Xian to protect them, hadn't he? What had her mother said ?
Yanli was not an angry person, but in that second she swore she wanted to slap her Mother right back out of the afterlife so she could explain herself. Show her the state that A-Xian was in and demand her to apologize.
The sad thing was, even if Madam Yu still lived, even if she saw, Yanli was pretty sure that she would not have found A-Xian undeserving.
It made her lip wobble in something other than sadness; boiling rage .
"My mother is dead, Wei Wuxian.", Yanli said in a tight voice, louder and clearer than she had probably spoken to him...maybe ever. The use of his full name made A-Xian stutter in his tracks, blinking at her owlishly. She wondered how many years it had been since she had said it. "So she is not here to tell me or you how to act or what to feel." stepping forward another step towards her brother, she met his eyes with a stubborn determination. It was deeply against everything she knew about respecting her ancestors and parents, but right now, A-Xian needed to know this, and she could beg for forgiveness as soon as they were back in Lotus Pier, and she saw her mother's shrine. "I am helping you because you are my Didi and I love you and I want to see you well."
A-Xian's eyes were wide at this. He stared, unblinking, at her approach, holding her eye contact. For a blessed second, then two, Yanli thought she had finally gone through to him, was finally going to be able to hug him to her. But then he closed his eyes, his knees wobbled for a moment, then his chin, and his expression contorted as if in physical pain.
"Shijie. I'm sorry, I-" his voice died midway through and he opened his eyes again at the same time that his hand practically slammed into his own chest. "Look at me. You can't tell me that you can't see it! I'm not the same boy that was bound onto the boat with you that day!" he choked on something invisible before he continued, his voice so hoarse he sounded like he just came out of a screaming match. "I have...seen things, I've done things that I could never tell you about or even want to think about anymore. I am filled to the brim with resentful energy, because it's the only thing I can even cultivate anymore. I can't even get rid of it, I'm not sure if my body wouldn't just drop dead on the spot, honestly." another toneless laugh and Yanli flinched, because that sound just made her heart shatter into a million little pieces. "I've become a monster of my own making and I can't even regret it because otherwise I wouldn't be here at all. I would be one of those souls trapped forever on that mountain, neither reborn nor put to rest." he took a deep breath before he could continue, clearly working himself up again. He pointed out the door, at nothing, with his open hand. Yanli tried to not think about it too much, about the fact that if her brother was just a little less stubborn, they would have lost him forever.
"I promised your parents to protect you, and I promised Jiang Cheng I would be by his side when he was Sect leader. And I hate that I almost failed at one, and I don't even know how to tackle the second now." he drew in a shaky breath and two new tears tracked down his cheek. "How do I train cultivators without drawing my own sword? How am I to be a first disciple without having a Golden Core?"
"What?!" came a sharp voice from behind Yanli before she could even react herself. Her heart skipped a beat, because even that one word was enough to know who the speaker was. She had known that voice all her life, after all.
"What do you mean you don't have a golden core?"
Out of A-Xian's bedroom and into the brighter light of their common room stepped none other than A-Cheng, with Wangji not far behind.
Notes:
Yaaaay that went well :) Aaah damn this was fun to write. I love them all a lot x) The angst in this was of course the most fun.
Any guesses on how that reaction will go? ;D
Up next: Golden Core reveal! Lots of tears and rage (the true Jiang Clan motto imo),yes this will be from JC's POV so that'll be extra fun.
Chapter 10: Redemption lies plainly in Truth
Summary:
Golden Core reveal! With almost all the lil details! Lots of tears and rage (the true Jiang Clan motto imo), JC's POV for extra Angst (tm).
CW for suicidal ideation.
Notes:
Hello my lovelies :)
It's my Birthday! And also Yanli's Birthday! So let's all take a shot for elder sisters that love soup ;D
I hope you enjoy this one, I had a lot of fun writing out JC's angsty lil feelings.
Also I want to point out that all of these people need therapy. Like if this was modern AU I'd send them all to a therapist (yes even Yanli, our girl also has some trauma to work through and not just from her family dying). Especially WWX tho my baby needs help.
Oh yeah speaking of that (kinda). If you need me to tag any Content Warnings that I didn't tag in the chapter summaries or Notes before a chapter, pls tell me so in the comments!! I will add them in past chapters, too (if applicable)! Be safe, lovelies <3
Now enjoy the angst!!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Cheng
The war meeting hadn't lasted long and Jiang Cheng was glad for it.
Even though they arrived late, their explanation was met with understanding, especially after Lan Wangji backed his claim. Though he had to admit, seeing the pity in their eyes or the irritation in Jin Zixun's at the mention of his brother's 'illness', he wanted nothing more than to tell them all that they should shut up and stop looking like that. Unfortunately, he couldn't, because he was a sect leader now and sect leaders apparently couldn't just speak their minds. Well, it honestly barely ever stopped him anyway. He still held it together here, however, because arguing or starting a fight would only draw out the meeting, and he really wasn't in the mood for this in the first place.
Luckily, it had only been a confirmation meeting to their already decided battle plans, so Jiang Cheng had not needed his brother's assistance as much as he had feared, and they were able to clear out after only a few minutes of route clarification and confirming everyone was on the same page. They were moving onto Nightless City soon and Zewu-Jun apparently had a spy inside with the Wens whose identity he firmly didn't want to share.
"Do you think Zewu-Jun's spy can be trusted?", Jiang Cheng voiced his concern when they exited the meeting. It wasn't like he enjoyed Lan Wangji's company a whole lot, but the man insisted on coming with him back to the Jiang family quarters just like he had insisted on it this morning, when Jiang Cheng had burst into the healing halls to gather Wen Qing. So he might as well gather his opinion on things.
"Mn." he said, again not really opening his mouth to say actual words. Jiang Cheng barely held back on rolling his eyes, instead just waiting, raising an eyebrow to signal he waited for more. "If Xiongzhang trusts them, I do as well.", Lan Wangji finally said, and Jiang Cheng let out a deep breath, both because he was annoyed again already at the lack of communication and because it was a sentiment he could not quite agree with. But he guessed not all brother relationships could be as smooth as the one that the two Jades of Lan shared, so he tried to give himself and Wei Wuxian some slack in that regard.
Their walk was rather short, and so they arrived at the Jiang quarters, rounding around where his disciples slept and stopping for a second to watch some of them train in one of the courtyards. Jiang Cheng found himself a little pleased when he saw no immediate things he felt like he had to correct and told them to continue with a nod before continuing on their path.
Both of them didn't pay a mind to go to the common room's entrance, instead using the one to Wei Wuxian's room, assuming he was still in bed. When they found the room empty and silence filtered through the complex, Lan Wangji and himself shared a startled glance before stepping inside.
"My mother is dead, Wei Wuxian.", the sentence that came out of A-Jie was louder and colder than Jiang Cheng had heard her speak in years. He blinked, confused, and gestured for Lan Wangji to close the door behind him quietly. The other man seemed like he wanted to protest, probably wanted to say something about that eavesdropping rule, but honestly, his sister had just called their brother by his courtesy name, and he hadn't heard her do that since...he honestly did not know if she ever did. Also, the statement itself cut through him, a stark reminder of their loss. Why was A-Jie talking about that?
"So she is not here to tell me or you how to act or what to feel. I am helping you because you are my Didi and I love you and I want to see you well." Jiang Cheng's forehead probably showed his inner irritation openly now. He seriously thought about storming into the room and correcting A-Jie on not calling him "A-Xian" or even "da shixiong" but the actual family address of Didi, which she didn't even use with him most of the time. What was happening? But when he wanted to step forwards to say something, Lan Wangji was actually the one to hold him back. He had stepped forward a little bit, so they were still hidden in the shadows of this room, but could see what was going on in the common room. Jiang Cheng frowned and also stepped forward, curious now to also see but not as urgent to interrupt.
A-Jie and Wen Qing were with their backs to them while they could see Wei Wuxian, standing near the door. His back was basked in sunlight, but his face seemed in permanent shadow as a contrast.
He looked horrible.
His brother's skin was paler than ever, his eyes rimmed red and there were thick tracks of tears on his face. In his hair he could still spot bits of blood from when he had fallen in the night and the bandage around his head didn't really help in making his appearance less miserable. Jiang Cheng had wondered why A-Jie's tone of voice was the way it was, but now he saw that it was probably because their brother was short before a breakdown or already in the middle of it, and her tone and firm words were supposed to bring him back to either awareness or down from whatever cliff he had maneuvered himself towards mentally.
And then Wei Wuxian opened his mouth and Jiang Cheng felt his heart contract in a way it hadn't since his home fell to the Wens.
"How am I to be a first disciple without having a Golden Core?"
The words echoed in his mind several times, his disbelief mixing with horror.
He could distinctly remember the emptiness inside of him, the hole that stretched on forever and could never be filled again.
"What?!" he heard himself ask, couldn't stop his lips from acting as his heart started to hammer itself into a panic. He stepped out of the shadows, into the common room, until he was just behind his A-Jie and Wen Qing. He knew that Lan Wangji was somewhere behind him, lingering.
"What do you mean you don't have a golden core?" he asked, his eyes wide and staring and his whole body feels numb, suddenly, at the thought.
Immediately, Wei Wuxian's eyes were on him. The grey, once so warm, and familiar irises shone with tears still and when they saw Jiang Cheng, he could describe his brother's expression only as pure horror.
"Jiang Cheng? No...fuck." he cursed, looking like he wanted to flee. And the door was right there-
"A-Xian, no, don't!" A-Jie was there again, this time directly in front of Wei Wuxian, her strides unusually fast and wide, with her hands on his upper arms, soothing her thumb back and forth, up and down.
"It doesn't matter." she said, voice warm. "We're glad you're back and the state of you doesn't matter, only that you're here." she sighed, good-natured as always. Wei Wuxian's eyes flew to her at these words, still wide. "Everything else we can sort out." she reassured.
"Shijie...", Wei Wuxian sniffed. But no, Jiang Cheng had questions. He was not going to just sit here and take in that information without getting specifics.
Golden Cores were a bit of a touchy subject, after all.
"Wei Wuxian.", he said, loudly enough for them all to hear. Beside him, Lan Wangji shifted, then there was a hand on his upper arm, holding him back. In contrast to his Shijie's arm on Wei Wuxian's, it was not supporting but rather pressing, backed by unbelievable upper arm strength.
"Don't.", Lan Wangji said. "Give them a minute."
Jiang Cheng tore his arm away from Lan Wangji, suspecting that only worked because he let him, but still, he sneered. Then he paused.
"Wait, did you know this?" he asked, frustration rising inside him, then anger. Lan Wangji did not seem shocked at that revelation and the hard press of his lips told him everything he needed to know. Now that he thought about it, neither A-Jie nor Wen Qing seemed surprised, either, besides the obviously growing concern for Wei Wuxian's wellbeing when he was calling himself a monster and doubting his right to exist in the world. But Jiang Cheng's mind was unable to focus on that right now.
"Did you all know about this?", his tone was rising in volume, he was aware of it, but he couldn't help it. The silly, childish feeling of being left out on purpose and being mad about it was slithering inside him like a poisonous snake.
A-Jie's hands paused for a second in her up and down stroking movement, but then she smiled and turned back to Wei Wuxian, saying something quiet to him that Jiang Cheng couldn't hear.
Typical. Wasn't that just...fucking typical. Of course, Wei Wuxian's comfort was more important than his own. Jiang Cheng felt like ants were crawling under his skin. Why did his brother not have a golden core? Why did he feel like a monster and a failure, and who could he punch to make that damn expression of suffering go away?
Wen Qing turned to him, now, and her smile was a bit sad.
"Sect Leader Jiang, we did not think you would be back so fast.", she said, as if making pleasant conversation would distract him from the gnarly topic. Well, that wouldn’t work.
"What, surprised I'm springing in on your big secret? Well, sorry that the meeting didn't take that long, I can go away again if you want to talk behind my back some more about my brother not having a fucking core!" he knew that he had escalated his voice too much when several people in the room were flinching, but mainly his siblings. Lan Wangji watched him with an icy glare while Wen Qing only raised her eyebrows, also remaining cool to the outside observer. Their lack of reaction to his anger somehow made him even more furious, and he felt Zidian starting to spark around his wrist.
"There's no malicious intention behind it.", Lan Wangji said, as a way of explanation. As if that was an acceptable enough reasoning.
"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?! How is leaving me out of the loop like this not intentional?" his anger was bubbling more and more to the surface, Zidian sizzling even stronger on his wrist.
"Jiang Cheng." Wei Wuxian finally opened his mouth and Jiang Cheng looked over to him, questions held on his brow. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you sorry? Did Wen Zhuliu do this to you? Shit, I'm more sorry I didn't take my time with killing him, should have let him regret this all more, that damn bastar-"
"It wasn't the Core-Melting Hand.", Wei Wuxian interrupted him. A-Jie stood next to him now, hand on his shoulder, while their brother had finally regained the ability to speak, his tears slowing down enough to allow a voice around the lump in his throat. Jiang Cheng blinked, confused.
"What? Then how..." he trailed off, voice dying. Something in the back of his mind was whispering. He had thought that whole thing with him regaining his core had been weirdly good and positively miraculous from the get go. Too good to be true, after the blow that the massacre of Lotus Pier did to his worldview. Now the doubts were creeping back into his mind, increased tenfold by the time of suppression and Wei Wuxian's previous words.
The whole weird thing with the blindfold, why the voice of Baoshan Sanren had sounded so familiar, the way Wei Wuxian talked the whole thing up with that spiel he usually used to get the younger shidis to comply with something, how close he was with Wen Qing now even though they were not that way when they separated…
Oh fuck...the sword. Lan Wangji had not been able to draw Suibian, right? And he just...no. That couldn’t be, it couldn’t! That wasn’t possible...right?
As if on instinct, his hand flew to his own lower Meridian, clutching where his core was. Was that why he was out of the loop, why he was the only one they didn’t tell? He knew that the color was draining from his face and that his free fingers were clenching and unclenching in his shock and disbelief.
"No...Wait. No. T-tell me I'm wrong.", he whispered. They had all followed his gaze to his own abdomen, their expressions similar in their regret and maybe even pity. No...
"But that's impossible. That shouldn't be...WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!" he yelled the last part, taking several steps forward and grabbing the front of his brother's robes, effectively shoving A-Jie aside maybe not as gently as he should. He immediately noticed how shaky Wei Wuxian was on his feet, but did not let go. Wen Qing and Lan Wangji looked like they wanted to intercept, but they did not, for now. His focus wasn't on them, however. He was zoned in on his brother, who apparently had somehow, miraculously, given him his own golden core.
"You need it more than I do.", was all Wei Wuxian said, his tone very flat and controlled, and there were still tears in his eyes, but he looked so sad that Jiang Cheng couldn't even accuse him of lying and mocking him. His own purple eyes stared into his grey ones for a second, then two, then he pushed him back almost violently, and A-Jie shrieked because she barely managed to keep Wei Wuxian from falling over.
"That's bullshit! You obviously also need it!", he yelled, trying to catch his breath from how his heart was working itself up, his lungs going along with it.
"You were wasting away, dying. You said you wanted to die. I couldn't..." Wei Wuxian didn’t finish the sentence, but the 'I couldn't lose you, too' was clearly hanging in the room. And that was, if not for the already overwhelming feelings this all pressed out of him, the final straw.
Jiang Cheng suddenly realized that he was shaking, violently, and it was the first tear that fell that made him even recognize why his vision was blurry.
"What, and it would have been okay for us to lose you?!" he whisper-yelled it, but the hurt and the implication behind it were clear. Wei Wuxian blinked, as if his mind wanted to clearly say 'of course, yeah' and Jiang Cheng wanted to scream.
So he did.
"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" he had let go of his brother for a second, but he was right back in his face now, shoving his shoulder more roughly than necessary. "Why would you do that? How could you do it without telling me?! I didn't ask for this, I didn't ask for you to- TAKE IT BACK!" he shoved Wei Wuxian, maybe a bit too violently, and then his own knees were giving in, and he was somehow on the floor.
"Jiang Wanyin!" a voice bellowed behind him and while Wen Qing went to him, Lan Wangji was at Wei Wuxian's side, helping him sit up straighter from where he had stumbled against the wall, slowly sinking down. A-Jie was on the other side of him, but Wei Wuxian didn’t seem to be motivated to stand, not even with the double support. Wen Qing's hand was at Jiang Cheng’s brow now, then at some points on his body, maybe assessing his qi? But he was fine, he was! Well no okay, maybe he wasn’t.
"Give it back to him.", he finally said, turning to Wen Qing, grabbing at her upper arm desperately. "You took it out, right? Could you just shove it back into him?" he asked. He needed to know if it was possible. Yes, he needed it, needed to be a cultivator as a sect leader, he knew this. But also, if people could suddenly transfer golden cores then he could just keep some random Wen asshole and take theirs, right? It didn't need to be his brother’s, who was supposed to be by his side forever until their next life and more!
"I can't. Last time I gave you both a 50%chance of success, I don't think a return would be much higher, especially with how Wei Wuxian's condition is now." she glanced over to him, but Wei Wuxian was still a little out of it, dazed from his anger and trying not to look at Lan Wangji, who was himself trying to subtly get his attention. If Jiang Cheng weren't so preoccupied he would laugh at the irony and the reversal of this from their Cloud Recess Days. A-Jie was stroking Wei Wuxian's back for support.
"Fifty....Percent..." Jiang Cheng whispered. At this, Lan Wangji and A-Jie also seemed to perk up, or rather stare at Wei Wuxian in shock. Maybe that was news to them, too. "Why does his condition matter?" he asked, carefully, dreading the answer and feeling a cold shiver run down his spine.
"The giver of the core needs to be conscious during the procedure.", she said. "No anesthetics worked without leaving the core brittle.", she swallowed, looking at Wei Wuxian and if he would protest her telling them this. But Wei Wuxian seemed to be somewhere else, his gaze staring into the middle distance.
"How long?", A-Jie asked before Jiang Cheng could. Of course she also wanted to know. Her eyes shot to Wei Wuxian nervously, her hands clenching in their brother’s outer robes.
"Two nights and one day.", Wen Qing said, voice almost small. Her eyes were glassy and Jiang Cheng didn't know if it was just because of the whole emotional situation or because she was deep in a memory of those exact days.
"WHAT!?" Jiang Cheng knew that his voice was pitching higher than it normally could, that his volume was probably being heard by his disciples outside. But he could not care less, not at all, because his brother had stayed awake while being cut open for two nights and a day for the 50% chance that he, Jiang Cheng, would be able to get a golden core. "WEI WUXIAN!" he screamed, wanting to get up and step forward, but Wen Qing held him back with surprising strength, pressing him down by the shoulders. "That is literally insane, you agreed to this?!" he rounded in on her again, because she was in range and because she had done the actual operation. She would have been able to stop him-
"I told him it was an insane attempt. He insisted." -which probably meant that Wei Wuxian annoyed her so long that she complied, Jiang Cheng thought offhandedly. And then, Wen Qing smiled and Jiang Cheng suddenly wanted to punch her because nothing in this situation was worth smiling, he wanted to carve his fingers into his stomach and pull that damn thing out himself. He couldn't believe he had been enjoying this 'new' core so much, suddenly wanting to throw up in one of the vases decorating the low tables. His fingers violently dug into the fabric on his abdomen and he thought that if he enforced them with spiritual energy, could he touch the core and do it?
"It was only ever a theory. I'm very impressed that it worked, and you didn't even have some kind of negative reaction to it afterwards, did you?" Wen Qing seemed like she was short before examining him, but Jiang Cheng just glared at her and shoved her hands off himself. Was he her damn experiment? Some lab animal to be studied?!
"No, I didn't!" he looked at his hand over his core and his tears were still falling, and he suddenly felt his shoulders shake. Not from crying, but from a bitter, guttural laughter. Hadn’t he just said no smiling? Well, he was a hypocrite anyway right, so why did that matter?
"I always knew you were stronger than me but, but this is just...wonderful, isn't it? I've been able to train harder, endure longer and heal faster than ever before. And here I thought I was just improving." Jiang Cheng shook his head, gesturing towards his brother since none of them would let him actually approach and shake him. "But it's just another proof you're better than me, isn't it? Shouldn't you be happy about that?!" another bitter laugh, and this one might have turned into a sob. He could barely see Wei Wuxian flinch through the sheen of liquid over his vision, but it was there. He didn't even care about the others in the room much right now, even though Lan Wangji clearly looked like he was about to run him through with his own sword. Good. Then maybe they could take out the core before ending his fucking misery.
"A-Cheng!" A-Jie was suddenly scolding, and she was at his side just to punch him in the shoulder more violently than he would have thought her capable. Jiang Cheng flinched, and then he stared at her, because...what?
"Not everything in life is a goddamn competition, A-Cheng!" she huffed, pointing her hand towards Wei Wuxian. "A-Xian just wanted us to be able to move forward, right?" she smiled at Wei Wuxian, who only stared at the two of them, bewildered, then slowly nodded. "See! I will not have you two physically fight about this. A-Xian is still not well, and you are obviously distressed."
"Distressed!? Of course I'm fucking distressed, he's coreless, A-Jie!" he looked at his sister, who nodded and swallowed, aware of all the implications and obviously already shouldering this knowledge for several days, maybe ever since they arrived here with Wei Wuxian. They won't let Jiang Cheng near Wei Wuxian right now, so he finally caved and gave a last quiver of his lips before he threw his arms around his sister, squeezing her tightly. It was such a different hug from last night that the contrast was almost jarring. "It's the most terrible feeling and I-" he didn't manage to say anything anymore, just tried to quiet his own breathing and the flow of his tears and the pathetic hiccup starting to build in his stomach. I caused him to feel it every day for the rest of his life.
It was quiet, for now, as Wei Wuxian stared, slowly blinking as if waking up, while Jiang Cheng clung to his sister and didn't even really get to enjoy her warmth, because his inner turmoil just overshadowed everything. It was as if the loss of their family happened all over again and then some, he knew that his relationship with his parents had been complicated for quite some time even before all this, but all he wanted right now was to be in his mother's arms again, maybe being taught what lotus seeds were edible and which weren't, or being showed how to do the proper calligraphy on his name. Anything but the too vivid image of Wei Wuxian, still healing from being whipped by Jiang Cheng's mother and being choked by him -something he tried not to think about at all- deciding to give up a part of himself so Jiang Cheng could rebuild their sect. Him being on a mountain, being cut open by Wen Qing, the shine of his core leaving his brother slowly, bit by bit, a totally different agony to how he lost his own, hot and burning agony and then nothing. Then being captured, probably tortured, coreless, helpless, thrown into the Burial Mounds...
"How did you even survive?", he suddenly asked. Since the room was so quiet, nobody had a problem understanding him, though. Wei Wuxian tilted his head, not really sure what he meant.
"The procedure? Wen Qing and Wen Ning made sure-", Wei Wuxian began, his voice horse and raw, but Jiang Cheng shook his head. He ignored the part where apparently Wen Ning had been in on the whole thing but not him, and pressed for his original point.
"No, the Burial Mounds.", he clarified. By now he had taken his face out of A-Jie's shoulder, the tears finally stopping and A-Jie starting to also relax. They were still touching, both not far away from Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, with Wen Qing hovering somewhere beside them. They must be giving off a weird picture indeed, on the floor near the door of their common room.
"Oh. That.", Wei Wuxian grimaced and took a look around the room as if trying to assess what he could say or was comfortable to share. "I...I'm not sure you want to know." he gave a hollow laugh and wiped at his own eyes. "I just...I was determined not to die because I needed to see Wen Chao choke on his own blood for what he did, and I couldn't let you..." he paused, swallowing, making himself speak instead of letting his voice die. "I needed to make sure you two were okay..." he trailed off, gesturing vaguely in the direction of his two siblings, who were both looking at him with a mixture of sadness and bewilderment. A-Jie sighed next to Jiang Cheng.
"You pulled off a miracle to get back to us, then." she smiled, and it was so warm that it felt like she wrapped a blanket around Jiang Cheng, and he saw his brother also slightly relax at the sight. Jiang Cheng took a deep breath and let it out in a long sigh. He shoved his sleeve into his face to get rid of the moisture and sniffed, so his nose stopped to bother him, too.
"You're still an idiot, even if you pulled off something impossible", he grumbled, shooting Wei Wuxian a side glance. Then he huffed. "Seriously, why would you give away your golden core? It's just....part of who we are, isn't it?" Jiang Cheng had to say it again, because it honestly wouldn't get into his skull that the revival of their sect had meant so much to Wei Wuxian when his mother had yelled at him and whipped him and Jiang Cheng himself had wrongfully blamed him out loud for the whole thing even happening and-
"It's what I owed.", Wei Wuxian said, quietly. Jiang Cheng wasn't sure if they were even meant to hear it, but they did. With it, what had remained of his heart seemed to shatter into a thousand pieces. He didn't even notice the sharp turn of Wen Qing's head or how Lan Wangji was staring at Wei Wuxian in disbelief and something that looked like anger.
"What you owed?" Lan Wangji whispered, mouth opening and not closing. The worst thing was that...Jiang Cheng knew what he meant. It wasn't a statement out of the blue, it made sense to him and that made it so much more terrible.
Jiang Fengmian had taken Wei Wuxian into his home because he was a tramp on the street but the child of an old friend. With the luxury of living with them in Lotus Pier proper, Wei Wuxian never had to go hungry or fight with dogs over food again. Jiang Fengmian did this -as far as Jiang Cheng knew- because he was a good man who couldn't see his friend's child suffer and did what he could to give him a good life.
Consequently, Yu Ziyuan never made him forget what a generosity Wei Wuxian had been offered. Jiang Cheng had sat through countless sessions with his mother, but while Jiang Cheng was scolded, Wei Wuxian was flat out punished. While Jiang Cheng had to 'do better to make the family proud', Wei Wuxian was always just expected to perform because 'the least you could do is pay back the kindness we're giving you'. These words out of his mother's mouth had made him flinch at the time, but he had always thought that Wei Wuxian brushed them off of himself like he was a lotus leaf and her words were water droplets.
He had always thought that Wei Wuxian knew that even though he hadn't officially been adopted into the family and given their name, that he was still their brother. Jiang Cheng was aware that he was a little asshole about it for most of his childhood, but he'd never actually thought of Wei Wuxian as anything else. Wei Wuxian knew that Jiang Cheng never meant those jabs or the hits to the shoulder or the comments that he was never any good and brought shame on the sect......right?
Here it was though, a statement that made it loud and clear that whatever his mother had said, probably especially her last words to him, had drilled themselves deep into his flesh instead of rolling off of him. That he felt like for the kindness of taking him in, he owed them his service, maybe even his life. Jiang Cheng was shaking, the memory of his own hands choking Wei Wuxian, accusing him of playing the hero and causing the fall of Lotus Pier ringing in his head so loud that his hands felt like they were drenched in blood themselves and he just-
Just a few seconds of miserable silence after Wei Wuxian said that, Jiang Cheng was grabbing his shoulders and wrapping his arms around him so tightly that it probably hurt his bruises. Jiang Cheng was clinging as if his own life depended on it, and he would not let go until he had said his share. Lan Wangji had startled and drawn back, forced to let go of Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng didn't even look up to see how very pissed the Second Jade was about that.
"You really are an idiot.", he whined into Wei Wuxian's shoulder. “I gave up my life for you, and you went right back and returned it? Who raised you to be so ungrateful?” he laughed, but it was probably not well-received as one, because Wei Wuxian was shoving him back by the shoulders.
“What?!” Wei Wuxian hissed. And wasn’t that a throwback to just a few minutes ago? Jiang Cheng only shrugged, after all, if they were revealing life secrets now, what was the point of keeping this one? Maybe it made Wei Wuxian see how senseless his act of heroism had been. It may also expose Jiang Cheng as a hypocrite -hah, again- but right now he didn’t even care that much, because Wei Wuxian had just said that he owed them something like they were having some kind of life tally going, and he wasn’t standing for this! “What do you mean?!”, Wei Wuxian insisted, and Jiang Cheng pressed his lips together before he was able to talk around the lump in his throat to explain.
“When you were out buying medicine and then pancakes, there were Wen soldiers behind you.” Wei Wuxian nodded slowly, following where on their timeline he was talking about.
“Yes...wait how did you know I was buying pancakes…?” his voice was already weary, realization seeming to dawn, but he didn’t want his theory to be true. Hah! Wasn’t that relatable. Jiang Cheng continued.
“I wanted to see if you were okay because you took so long, and then I saw them about to take you and I…” he swallowed. He could still remember that terrible fear in his heart, making it hammer against his chest. If they took Wei Wuxian, too, he wouldn’t have been able to handle it, no way. “I got their attention and led them the other way to chase me instead.”
Silence.
Wei Wuxian, and probably the others as well, stared at him. Jiang Cheng, for the first time today, was suddenly uncomfortable with all the attention and felt heat rise to his cheeks together with more damn tears.
“I couldn’t...they would have-”
“Jiang Cheng”, Wei Wuxian started shaking his head in obvious disbelief, his grey eyes glassy and brows drawn together. “I’m not...why would you do that? You’re the clan heir, I’m not...I’m not worth that.” he let out a choked sound from his raw throat. “They could have killed you!” they almost did, Jiang Cheng countered inwardly, but outwardly, he just grimaced.
Because wasn’t that the crux of it all, that Wei Wuxian didn’t think he was worthy on so many levels? But no, he had to make him see! So his stubborn streak kicked in, defiance creeping into his jaw, chin held a little bit higher.
“How can you say that?!” Jiang Cheng shoved his brother’s shoulder roughly, glaring. “Of course they could have killed me, but the same goes for you! I saw an opportunity to save you and took it. You would have taken care of A-Jie.” he shook his head and forced himself to not look to A-Jie in that second, fearing the expression her face would wear at realizing all this had been going on while she had slept away her fever. His fingers balled into fists in his lap and he took a deep breath. Then he hugged Wei Wuxian back to his chest, ignoring the slight vocal protest. He couldn’t look at his face for this, but it needed to be said, apparently.
"I can't believe you're making me say this but-" Jiang Cheng sniffed. When had he started crying again? "You're my brother, and we're family." he wanted to immediately bury himself somewhere with the knowledge that all the people in this room had heard him fucking say that out loud, but he did it anyway.
"A-Cheng is right", he felt a hand on his shoulder and knew that A-Jie had followed him and was now seated next to them, slowly wrapping her arms around both of them and holding on almost as tightly as he was. "You don't owe us your life, A-Xian. Much less a body part." Jiang Cheng felt her shift and was pretty sure that she was kissing Wei Wuxian's hair. "There's no need for debt with family." she said, and her voice was so soft but Jiang Cheng was pretty sure that she was also losing a few tears while the two of them clung to Wei Wuxian.
Their brother's reaction wasn't immediate, but slowly, just so, his stiff muscles seemed to relax and his two arms came up to return the hug around both of his siblings. He didn't say anything, but when Jiang Cheng felt his shaking shoulders and heard the miserable little sounds he made, he was pretty sure it was just because he wasn't able to with the lump in his throat.
"But-" he started, a final bound of protest, a final thrash from years of this being quite literally whipped into him.
"No buts. Just hush for now. We're going to be okay.", A-Jie said, voice steady and sure like how she always carried their burdens so confidently and competently.
It was quiet like that for a few minutes, or what at least felt like several minutes to Jiang Cheng. When he finally started to feel a little bit too warm and clammy, he started to wriggle, making his siblings start to let go of him.
"Ugh you're sweaty.", he complained with a fake sneer, falling right back into his usual tone, shoving Wei Wuxian's shoulder very slightly. "Go back to bed. And take a bath." he stroked the fabric of his own purple robes, making sure they weren't wrinkled anywhere.
Wei Wuxian laughed, and it reached his eyes a little bit, and weren't all the tears worth it just for that?
This whole situation was a mess, and Jiang Cheng was a mess, and he somehow had a borrowed golden core and that still fucked him up inside so much that he still wasn't sure if he was going to throw up later. But for now, he was settled, and so, so glad that even though he hadn't known this secret existed, it was out now and wouldn't keep driving a wedge between them.
"It's great to have such a caring little brother", Wei Wuxian said and didn't even hold back on the sarcasm, which was a great sign for him that his mood had improved from the earlier sobbing. A-Jie smiled and leaned forward to dab at Wei Wuxian's cheeks, eliminating the tear tracks there.
"Xian Xian should heed those very wise words." she said, nodding solemnly. Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at her voice, because she was pretending that Wei Wuxian was a toddler again and that was so fucking annoying that it always made him want to shove both of them into the lake. He had done it once, and he didn’t regret it for one second.
"Ugh. You two are so weird." he grumbled, finally deciding that this sitting on the floor business was ridiculous. He stood up, brushed off his robes and looked around for a second. Becoming aware of the two other people in the room he had ignored for several minutes now, Jiang Cheng swallowed and tried to shove down the furious blush coming to his cheeks.
"I apologize that you had to witness that, Lady Wen, Hanguang-Jun.", he finally got out of his mouth and bowed to the two of them, swallowing at least a part of his pride. Wen Qing just snorted, shaking her head at him and walking back to the table, where the tea was that she had apparently managed to make while they were...talking. The second Jade of Lan made no such sound, but he returned his bow with a nod of acknowledgement and that was as big a reaction as Jiang Cheng had hoped for, so he let out his breath. A-Jie now stood too, also bowing.
"I would ask you to not speak of this to anyone outside of this room, if you are able. At least not until the end of the war.", she asked. Wen Qing only nodded, immediately agreeing. Hanguang-Jun hesitated, but then agreed with another typical 'Mn'.
"I suppose I can skim past the truth if I am asked," he said and Jiang Chang let his surprise at that show on his face openly. He knew that the second Jade hated lying, so that he was offering to do so for them was certainly a huge deal. Then, Hanguang-Jun made him frown even further when he shot forward to help up Wei Wuxian, who wasn't really struggling, but not really quick to get up, either. Lan Wangji grabbed Wei Wuxian by the upper arm and had a hand around his back with such a tender touch that Jiang Cheng could swear his eyebrows shot up to his hairline at the sight.
"Lan Zhan.", Wei Wuxian said, quietly. "You also knew?" he asked, eyebrows drawn together.
"Mn.", Lan Wangji said, his face showing something that could be called a slight frown. "Since you collapsed. Wen Chao said something about Jiang Wanyin’s core." a shrug, then a small gesture of his hands. Obviously, he had put it together with those two pieces of information. Wei Wuxian looked to A-Jie for a second, frowning, but she just smiled at him with something on her face that looked like ‘see?’ and then sat down at the table.
The rest of the conversation that Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were having was drowned out from the sudden rush to Jiang Cheng's ears. He looked at Lan Wangji, holding his brother still even though they were both already standing, the way he looked at him and the way Wei Wuxian looked back...
No, he decided. No, he had enough revelations concerning his brother for today. Enough was enough.
With a grunt, Jiang Cheng turned around and sat at the table next to Wen Qing, pouring himself a cup of tea. Wen Qing followed where he had previously looked and snorted softly, smiling at him in quiet understanding.
Something settled in his stomach and he was pretty sure it wasn't his golden core.
He smiled back slightly and took a sip of the tea.
Notes:
Didi - Little Brother
da shixiong - Oldest Sect Brother (in ranking)
--
A rather quiet ending after that roller coaster hah. I hope you liked it! I hope I got across JCs inner turmoil well enough. I just need all these characters to TALK to each other like. I mean that's pretty much what I wrote this for so. Yeah. I just wanted my Yunmeng Siblings to hug. This chapter focuses on them more than on LWJ or WQ. But they're there! Which is probably good so nobody has to second hand tell them anything.
Now you're probably like 'but what's the rest of the fic why are there 10 more chapters? AHA well. There's more angst to come. I don't only have a golden core REVEAL but also a solution? Kinda? Also they still have a Wen Ruohan to defeat ;D. And Wangxian gotta get together. Also Settling Yunmeng...yeah we still got a bit to go. I won't make it boring dont worry ;D (i hope) still plenty of angst as well.
Up next: LWJ is being a pining gay disaster child. Small convo between the Jades. Wangxian have a much needed talk about very serious and very not-serious topics. Also, a surprise appearance! This is a more quiet chapter (which is probably needed x'D)
Who do you think will appear in the next Chap? :)
Ok well see you next week :) Imma go and read other people's fanfic now lmao
Chapter 11: Where you go I'm going
Summary:
LWJ is being a pining gay disaster child. Small convo between the Jades. Wangxian have a much needed talk about very serious and very not-serious topics. Also, a surprise appearance! This is a more quiet chapter (which is probably needed x'D)
CW for suicidal ideation and mention of past trauma again.
Notes:
Seriously tho this chapter is 90% pining and 10% angst. I'm aware I might have made LWJ a little more insecure but honestly, at this point in time and especially in CQL I feel like I'm hitting the mark pretty well.
As promised this is a bit less plot but like. It's still a lil intense.
CW for suicidal ideation, mentions of past trauma and death wishes. Kinda.
I hope you enjoy ;D
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan Wangji
To say that Lan Wangji was floored by any of this would be an understatement. He had of course expected some of the things being discussed, having known about the core and the burial mounds in general, but many of the details were harrowing, and he had to practice a great deal of self-control to keep himself under control.
Wangji had been glad to see that Wei Ying opened up to his siblings in the end, accepted their affection and help. His heart still clenched when he remembered the sheer emptiness inside Wei Ying that he had felt trying to reach for his core and again this morning, trying to feed him energy. How Wei Ying could endure the swirling darkness and sting of resentful energy being inside him like this was a mystery to him, and he was torn if he wanted to be horrified or if he wanted to admire it.
With the knowledge that it would hurt Wei Ying if he did not stop it soon, he settled on the former for now. But it was also a fact that he could not force Wei Ying to do anything, so he also settled on being supportive for now, if that was what Wei Ying needed.
Seeing the three siblings huddled together like this, Lan Wangji couldn't help but lift the corners of his mouth. He caught Wen Qing's gaze having a similar warmth to it and felt a little kinship to her as well, a stark contrast to the openly burning jealousy he had felt when she arrived.
"Wei Ying.", Wangji said, when everything had quieted down. They had shared a pleasant, solemn conversation over tea when it was all over, the three siblings were exhausted but seemed to want to enjoy some more time together, and they had dragged Wen Qing and himself to sit with them. He supposed now that they had been privy to their secrets anyway there was no real reason for excluding them for tea.
"Mh?" Wei Ying was the one to give a simple sound of attention for once, looking up with a slight smile that seemed so genuine for once that Lan Wangji felt his heart fill with warmth.
"Shall I play for you today?" he saw that Wei Ying was about to protest and lifted a hand to sooth his suspicions. "Not as cleansing. To calm your mind for deeper sleep.", he added. Wei Ying's eyes widened a little, his cheeks flushing, and he looked around to see who was looking at him in surprise or judgement, only to find that they of course all knew and of course also understood. It was adorable, the face he made, blinking uncertainly, then smiling and drawing his eyebrows together in a totally different way that made Lan Wangji's stomach flip.
"Yes, maybe that would be good. Thank you, Lan Zhan.", and Wei Ying smiled at him directly like that and suddenly Lan Wangji had to look desperately away . Anywhere but those silver eyes fixating him from underneath thick lashes. Without warning, he felt himself stand, Bichen in hand tightly and ears flushed so bad that he thought it had to be very visible. Had he just stood up in the middle of their conversation? Why had he done that? Now he had to go, didn't he?
"Well, I have...duties.", Lan Wangji finished lamely. He did not. Well, he surely had some of them somewhere and his brother would probably not begrudge his assistance, but it was nothing urgent. "I will return in the evening to play for you. Thank you for your hospitality." he bowed to the Jiangs and then to Wen Qing and finally to Wei Ying, maybe lingering just a small moment longer than necessary on that slightly confused stare he gave back.
He pretended not to see Jiang Yanli laugh behind her sleeve, the crinkle in her eyes clearly showing her amusement. As soon as he was outside, he leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths, then the back of his head met the wall behind him mercilessly. Why was he like this?
What he had wanted to say was "There's no need for thank you between us." or something along those lines. It was true, there was not. He wanted there not to be that need. But the last days had left him confused and, at the same time, longing. He had just wanted to know what was drawing Wei Ying down so much, what was anchoring him to the ground of an ocean he seemed to drown in without Wangji being able to scoop out the water.
Now he knew, and all that this meant was that Wei Ying had smiled again in all honestly for the first time since maybe even Cloud Recess, and damn if he had not been prepared for it at all.
He finally got himself off the wall and made his way to the rooms he had been staying in. Fortunately for him, Xichen was there and had things to do that he could support him in. It was mostly busy work for the campaign, planning what to pack for the upcoming shot to nightless city that they had prepared for in the morning.
"Mingjue says he wants to storm in and take Wen Ruohan out himself", Xichen said, unbidden, while they sorted through letters and missives sitting across from each other.
"You think it unwise?", Wangji asked. It probably was, it did sound like a suicide mission.
"With a proper distraction, it could be a good plan.", Xichen said. But Wangji saw the doubt in his face, soon after realizing that it was worry instead. Xichen and Nie Mingjue had been close ever since childhood. One would think with the two of them being sect leaders and frequently seeing one another, Lan Wangji's first friend would not be Wei Ying but rather someone like Nie Huaisang. But the two of them had never gotten along, even if they had seen each other rather often during their younger years. "I worry about him.", Xichen finally continued, proving Wangji's interpretation of his frown correct.
"Because of his reckless planning or something else?", Wangji asked. He was looking at a letter, quickly skimming over the content, but he could feel Xichen's gaze on him.
"Both are factors", he finally answered, tone contemplative, but not going on to elaborate. In turn, Wangji didn’t push, never did. After all, he had always been the listener, always had an ear instead of being the one speaking. Xichen set down his own letter now, grinding more ink to formulate something on a blank sheet. "How is Young Master Wei doing?" asked his brother now, probably well knowing that Wangji had been with the Jiangs all morning.
"Better", he answered honestly. After all, that was true. There was no way of being sure how much better it was or what exactly that meant, but when he thought about how he'd been found this morning, with his sword drawn and passed out in his room, to how he'd been smiling and laughing with his siblings later, Wangji wanted to be hopeful. "I'm playing for him this evening", he said carefully, trying to keep the red from climbing back into his ears from the earlier conversation he had so hastily fled. He didn’t see Xichen smile, but it was evident in the tone of his voice that he did.
"That's wonderful, Wangji.", he said, continuing his calligraphy without further probing. Wangji had always appreciated this about his brother. He never probed or hurried him, always letting him come to him if he needed assistance with anything. Yesterday after he ran into Wangji and Jiang Yanli having tea together and Wangji looking on the verge of tears, he had been sure that Xichen would have had many questions. But instead he only accepted his meager explanation and they both went to bed.
"Thoughts of a certain someone keeping you awake?"
"Yes."
He couldn't believe he had been that bold last night, if he thought back on it. It took all his concentration to stay on task and not wander with his thoughts to the way Wei Ying's hair had swayed in the breeze on the roof and how he had looked so concentrated and serene while playing their song...
Evening came quickly, in the end. Now he sat in Wei Ying's room, his guqin on his lap while Wei Ying put tea for him on the low table, pouring it into a small cup, then rose and pulled his flute out of his belt to set it to the side. Apparently, Wei Ying had taken a bath, his hair was still slightly damp and in a loose ponytail for sleep. The bandage was gone, and the head wound was barely visible if you did not know where it was. Wangji had a sudden urge to run his fingers through it but shook off the thought process in order to listen to what Wei Ying was saying.
"-so I was quite surprised when he showed up all of a sudden just after you had to go this morning."
"Who?" Wangji asked, chiding himself for not having heard the start of the sentence.
"The Nie doctor that looked at me first after I got here.", Wei Ying said, not minding having to repeat himself. "He wanted to talk to me about resentful energy of all things, can you believe it?" he laughed, shaking his head. Indeed, that was curious. Wangji felt his eyes squint together at the thought. Did this doctor want to stop Wei Ying somehow? Was there something he had to watch out for? "He had tips for me! Wen Qing was delighted to talk to him. That was a nerd talk I didn't know was needed.", a chuckle and that was enough to get Wangji to see that it was quite the opposite of a worrysome affair. Why exactly a Nie doctor had expertise on the cultivation of resentful energy, Wangji did not know. It was very curious though, and he filed it together with the worry his brother had for Nie Mingjue, not yet knowing if the two were related at all.
"Mn.", he only said, his shoulders relaxing again while he tuned his strings a little bit. Wei Ying kept talking.
"Sometimes I think she's giving me a weird amount of attention as a patient, but then I'm back to thinking she's using me as this kind of weird experiment to see what resentful energy does." he chuckled and again, Wangji found this not remotely amusing. He instead raised an eyebrow at the comment. Wei Ying saw this and waved his worries away with a movement of his hand. "Not actually an experiment. But we're the first of our kind after all, Jiang Cheng and I!" he grinned. "I'm the first to give up my core and Jiang Cheng is the first to receive a donated one. I guess as a doctor that's just interesting for her to observe.", he shrugged.
"Wei Ying", Wangji interrupted. As much as he enjoyed listening to Wei Ying talk about these things so casually after having had it hidden deep inside him for so long, he did come here for a reason, and they were running out of daylight. "Meditate.", he instructed.
"Right. Sure. One second.", he said, and then he started to undo his belt.
Wangji's shock must have shown on his face, because Wei Ying stopped and started to outright laugh at him.
"Don't worry, I'm not undressing. I'm just taking off the outer robes. It's more comfortable. Don't get yourself all wound up again." he winked at him and Wangji felt his muscles freeze in place, eyes wide with not being able to look away.
Again ...like in the Xuanwu cave, where he had started to undress just to distress him enough to expel the excess blood in his system. Wangji took a deep breath, trying to get the blood in his body right now from rushing to his neck and ears (or other places for that matter) just thinking about it. Or, as a matter of fact, to keep his eyes from roaming every minute movement Wei Ying made right now, peeling himself of his outer layers, his slender fingers loosening knots and sliding off fabric from his slim waist. Instead, he forced himself to concentrate on his instrument in front of him, starting to play a little melody to warm up. Mentally reciting the calming melodies he was about to play helped too, until Wei Ying was fully done and kneeling on the bed in the lotus pose.
"Okay, ready." Wei Ying said, smiling at him and wiggling one last time to get into place on the sheets. Now when Wangji dared to look up again, he was indeed only wearing his inner robes and pants. Bandages peeked out from underneath his robe very clearly, reminding Wangji of the stark bruises probably still marring Wei Ying's skin and simultaneously shaking him out of his own stare.
His fingers started playing, but his eyes were free to look and see Wei Ying's shoulders relax under the soothing melody, his breathing leveling out and his frown turning into a tiny little smile. Satisfaction bloomed inside him like a flower and he most certainly was not turning the end of the calming melody that helped to ease into deeper sleep into their own song, no, most definitely not.
Wei Ying reacted to this nonetheless, his smile widening and his silver eyes opening slightly. He found Wangji watching him and his head tilted, but he held eye contact. This time, Wangji managed to not flinch away, holding it steadily and continuing the song.
"Where do I know this song from?", Wei Ying finally asked, voice quiet and eyes flying down to his fingers as he finished the melody and laid his hand on the strings to still them. Wangji was quiet for a minute, contemplating how to answer exactly. He had assumed that Wei Ying remembered, but apparently it was only a partly present memory if he recalled the melody but not the origin. Then again...
"I sang it to you. When you were feverish, after the Xuanwu.", he said, tone kept carefully neutral, and he met Wei Ying's startled stare, his eyes were wide with slowly dawning realization.
"Riiight! Where is it from? Who wrote it?", he asked, and now Wangji did have to tear his gaze away. He didn't know what he looked like right now, but he knew that he felt like he was burning from the inside out.
"I did.", he finally managed. In a fit of courage, he managed to look around at Wei Ying's reaction and was able to see his eyebrows shooting up as far as they would go, then draw together in that different way from earlier Wangji wasn't quite able to place that was so incredibly soft. A quiet chuckle filled the air and Wei Ying's hands found each other, fidgeting.
"Wow, Lan Zhan, so talented! It's beautiful.", Wei Ying said, smiling brightly and Wangji's head was swimming, not being able to do anything but stare anymore. He felt like he was looking directly into the sun.
You're the one that's beautiful , he wanted to say, taking in Wei Ying's everything in this moment, but his lips wouldn't move -
"Thank you", was all he managed, and he was short before wincing at how lame it sounded, how final and colder than he'd intended. His jaw was working, and he had to say something else, anything-
"I should be thanking you, actually.", Wei Ying said, and Wangji's brows drew together. Why would he have to do that? "That melody was pretty much what kept me sane sometimes." Wei Ying swallowed, then chuckled in the way that made Wangji want to hold him close and that spoke of more pain than actual amusement. Wei Ying's hands were working the fabric of his robe, clenching at it for dear life. All Wangji wanted was to get up and take those hands in his own, but he instead took a deep breath and forced himself to not act on his impulses. When Wangji didn't say anything, Wei Ying continued. "In the burial mounds, I..." another deep breath. Wangji wanted to tell him that it was okay, that he didn't have to talk about it, but at the same time, maybe it could help, and Wangji would do anything to do that, in the end. He was nothing if not patient, so the small silence was no problem at all. Finally, Wei Ying continued.
"It was so hard to concentrate on anything at all in there. There were so many voices, pulling me in every direction possible, so much suffering, I thought it would tear me apart.", he stared down at his hands now, slowly unclenching them and turning them over as if they were covered in something, even though his pale skin was clean as can be. Wangji's frown deepened when he saw that they were shaking. "At some point I discovered that music could keep it at bay. I don't...I don't even know how I got to that conclusion, it's all...very muddled." another breathless chuckle escaped him and Wangji looked up to Wei Ying's face and there were tears-
Abruptly, but not too quickly so he wouldn’t startle him, Wangji moved to stand. His legs uncurled, and he was over by the bed in a fluttery heartbeat, kneeling in front of Wei Ying, his own hands stretching out and taking Wei Ying's in his, covering the shaking ones with his own. Wei Ying's fingers were smooth, mostly, save for typical callouses from swordplay training and slightly thicker skin on the fingertips from playing the dizi. It was no way as rough as his own fingertips from playing the strings, but it was similar in a comforting way. Instead of saying anything, Lan Wangji held his position and couldn't believe his own gull for doing it. His heart was hammering in his chest and he was probably red all over, but at the same time, there was this firm determination in the set of his shoulders because he would not sit over there and see Wei Ying fall apart without him doing something. Especially not when Wei Ying had just told him that in the darkest hours in the burial mounds, he had played his -their- song to stay sane. What was he to do with this? It sure made him want to hold and kiss Wei Ying even more badly than ever before, but this situation was not right, not when he was so emotionally unraveled as he was right now.
"It is alright", Wangji finally said, when the silence was pressing down on them and Wei Ying stared at their joined hands instead of continuing. "I'm glad it helped.", he continued. I'm glad I helped, however little and indirectly. I'm glad you're back, I'm so glad you're not dead or trapped where I would never have found you again. This all stayed in his head, but he hoped that somehow, Wei Ying could see it in his eyes, because he did look up now to meet them.
"Lan Zhan..." Wei Ying swallowed and took a deep breath, the eye contact was short, because his gaze soon fell back to their hands again. Wangji actually started pressing them gently now, his thumb drawing little circles inside Wei Ying's palm. He saw Wei Ying's eyes following the movement like it was a hypnosis. Another deep breath. "Lan Zhan, I...you trust me, right?"
Wangji blinked. He wanted to say 'of course', but Wei Ying was not really waiting for an answer out of him before he continued. Apparently this had opened the flood gates, and now he was on a ramble.
"I mean I'm not like, misunderstanding all this, am I? We're friends? Cause you heard a lot of embarrassing stuff about me now, and I'd rather not piss you off again or something. I thought I was getting better at reading you, but now I'm really not sure. Also...okay I can't believe I'm asking this. Are you in love with my sister?" As he talked, he kept his own hands in Lan Wangji's, but he somehow managed to gesture with them anyway, pulling and twisting, using his shoulders. As he spoke, Wangji had to concentrate on what he was saying, because his impulses were telling him to shut him up in very creative ways that involved a lot of lips, and he would absolutely NOT do that right now. But then Wei Ying said that last sentence, and Wangji stared. He needed a bit to process all this, and Wei Ying was about to open his mouth again. For just a second, Wangji asked himself if Wei Ying was serious. Then he remembered his question about Mian Mian and wanted to hit his head against a wall again. So he gave a minute sigh and answered.
"Yes. No. Yes and...no.", he said, answering all the questions Wei Ying had posed.
"What?", Wei Ying asked. There was an adorable little crease between his eyebrows and Wangji resisted the urge to reach up and smooth it out. Had Wei Ying not been paying attention to what he had been saying? Wangji was so short before rolling his eyes, but instead only gave Wei Ying a side eye for making him say it out loud and explained.
"Yes, I trust you. No, you're not misunderstanding anything. Yes, we are friends. No, I am not in love with your sister. She is a very nice person. But no.", he clarified and pointedly stared at their joined hands. Is it not obvious that it's you? He didn't bring himself to say it. Wei Ying constantly questioning if he was in love with the women in their lives made him fear any answer he might receive. His jaw clenched, and he forced himself to let go of Wei Ying's hands and lean back a little. It felt like punishing himself, and he hoped it wasn't noticeable how he immediately yearned to go back. His hands balled into fists in his lap. Wei Ying was frowning now, but he was not looking at their hands, instead folding his arms as if offended.
"What, my shijie isn't good enough for you?" his brows drew together and Wangji couldn't do anything but be confused. What was this really about? He answered the question, didn't he?
"I thought-"
"I'm kidding!" Wei Ying grinned and shoved at Wangji's shoulder. From what he'd observed with him and Jiang Wanyin, this was a gesture of affection, so he took it that way. Though he had to admit, he was still a little puzzled. The teasing had been missing a little bit from their conversations though...it wasn't like he'd exactly missed it, but it did show him that bits of the old Wei Ying were still in there. So even if it irked him, he took it to be a bonus. "Don't worry, she's too good for anyone anyway.", Wei Ying grinned and wiggled his eyebrows, so Wangji just huffed a little to himself. This conversation was taking a weird turn.
"Then...I have to tell you something.", Wei Ying suddenly interrupted his own train of thought, drawing serious again and biting his bottom lip.
Wangji stilled, but only for a second. He had several things he wanted Wei Ying to say, but he was also very sure it wasn't any of these. So he just gave a small 'mh' sound and waited patiently. Wei Ying swallowed again as if his throat were dry, then clearly hesitated again, his mind seeming to go a mile a minute. When it settled on something, determination set between his brows. He set his shoulders a little straighter and gave a little, frankly adorable, nod. Looking around at the empty room, he got out a piece of talisman paper, scribbling on it with a pen and then let it fly to the door behind Lan Wangji. A silencing talisman, Wangji recognized. His frown deepened and he tilted his head slightly, now definitely curious. What was Wei Ying telling him that required such secrecy?
"We're going to go onward to Nightless City soon.", he said, as if to bring them onto the same page. Wangji nodded slowly, because that was of course correct. It was tomorrow evening, in fact, that the sect leaders had decided to depart on their advance. "It's going to be very dangerous, and the other sects are worried about the Yin Iron.", he continued and Wangji continued to nod. Yes, of course. They both knew this, they had both been in the meetings, what was Wei Ying-
"They don't need to be. I'm going to take care of it.", Wei Ying said, his voice sure and steady, his spine unusually straight, and his silver eyes looking right into his golden ones.
Wangji blinked, then blinked again.
"What?", he asked, when Wei Ying didn't continue, and he felt that his silent answer that his face must clearly be posing was not going to be answered immediately. "What do you mean, you're going to 'take care of it'? How? Wei Ying?" But Wei Ying only grimaced, then looked away, as if he was regretting having said anything. But no, no, this was important. Wangji suddenly felt like he was standing at a cliff side, looking into a bottomless abyss of problems that needed unpacking that had appeared from out of nowhere. If he had felt himself tumbling into darkness and despair this morning, seeing Wei Ying so unraveled and suffering, he certainly felt a whole different kind of sorrow now, because this seemed like something Wei Ying had been keeping from them intentionally for a whole different reason. When he did not get an answer, Wangji continued, pressing on. "Wei Ying? Why are you telling this to me right now and not at the war council? Or your brother, for that matter?" Because wasn't that the real question?
"Aya, Lan Zhan. Maybe this was a mistake." Wei Ying bit his lip, suddenly shooting up from the bed to escape Wangji's imploring gaze and drew his fingers through his hair roughly.
"Wei Ying, how would you take care of the Yin Iron?", he asked again, getting up slowly to be at eye level with him. His whole body was tense, he realized when he tried to rise as fluently as ever. There was a foreboding feeling in the pit of his stomach. How would one person take care of three pieces of Yin Iron that four major sects had been struggling against for months now? Why was he hiding this plan until now and using a silencing charm to make sure only Wangji heard it?
"I can't tell the others okay?!" Wei Ying half exploded. It wasn't really a shout, but it was close enough. He kept his voice in a whisper, but there was aggression behind it in enough amounts that Wangji's eyes narrowed in response. "They would...react badly."
"Why?", Wangji asked. His jaw was working, and he balled his fists further to keep his hands from trembling. He did not understand. It had been him until now that had reacted badly to the resentful energy and Wei Ying’s methods, right? How was this different and why did Wei Ying assume he would take it better than his siblings? Wei Ying suddenly snorted, an ironic tone to it and his face showed no real amusement, especially his eyes, dark and foreboding.
"Remember in the Cold Pond Cave? Lan Yi?" he said, then, and Wangji immediately nodded. Of course he did. Vividly , he thought, trying to keep his thoughts from drifting to other aspects of those moments. Like Wei Ying's wet hair and robes, their wrists wrapped in his own headband like a ritual Wangji knew to be part of their wedding ceremonies....
"Well, I just...what happens, when we defeat Wen Ruohan?" Wei Ying asked. "With the Yin Iron.", he finished, eyebrows drawn high and his arm pointing outwards in the direction Nightless City probably was somewhere. Wangji felt himself pause, for a second. He wanted to say that they would probably destroy it, that it would be a topic dropped. But then he thought of Jin Guangshan and how he clung to his position and power even now, stubborn to join a war that wasn't certainly won. Another factor was in his thoughts, the one that Lan Yi herself had said, namely that she herself could not destroy the iron. If she could not do it, then was it certain the current clans were able? Wei Ying must have read his uncertainty in his expression and smiled, huffing again, this time it was even more bitter.
"Yeah. Lan Zhan, it won't just stop. This isn't over with Wen Ruohan or even the Quishan Wen. I would love it to be but as long as the Yin Iron exists, as long as there's that power, someone will reach for it. We both know the most likely candidate, but it's not the only one." Wei Ying shook his head sadly, taking a step closer to Lan Wangji, lifting a hand to his shoulder and squeezing gently. "Lan Zhan. I'm telling you and not anybody else because I need you on my side. My plan is not...pretty, let's say." his smile was lopsided, one dark eyebrow raised, and as much as Wangji wanted to protest against all this, he couldn’t keep the thought out of his head that proclaimed how sexy that looked. "When it comes to me having to use this, I might...no, I will need backup. I won't be able to move much." there was a laugh from him, but he kept his hand and eyes where they were. "And I think that you're just too good to do anything as stupid as lust after Yin Iron." suddenly, Wei Ying's face was closer than he thought and also much more gentle than that lopsided grin before, and Wangji knew that his ears were blushing once again against his will. He swallowed and looked down for a second, just to tear his eyes away from those silver ones, to gain back composure. Because there was one thing he needed to ask.
"Will this hurt you? What you are planning.", he kept his voice level, because he did not want Wei Ying to know how this affected him. Wangji knew that there was truth to it, to the search for power by all sects, not just the Quishan Wen. He wanted to think the Lan above it but knew very well that this was only ever a matter of circumstance and other factors beyond his control. He was of the same blood as Lan Yi, and she had openly told them that she had fallen for the lure as well. So what was powerful enough to counter Yin Iron that gave Wei Ying so much confidence in its success?
At his question, Wei Ying dropped his own gaze, eyebrows drawing together.
"That is not important", he said, finally, jaw set in place. Wangji took a step towards him and Wei Ying drew back just as far. They were not touching anymore and Wangji felt the lack of it prickling him, but he wouldn’t reach out, not yet.
"Of course that is important.", again, his voice was supposed to stay neutral, but he knew that it was trembling now, a mixture of anger and desperation mixing into it. How could Wei Ying say that, after they just had this discussion today about how vital he was to his siblings? Was that why he was not telling them?
"Not when it is me or the world, Lan Zhan.", Wei Ying snapped, and when he locked eyes with him again, Wangji could see the cold determination in them. "That choice is easy enough, is it not?"
Not to me , Wangji wanted to say. After all, he had thought that he had lost Wei Ying, not that long ago, and that feeling still clung to him now, like a gaping wound slowly stitching closed. He did not know for certain that if it came to that choice, he would be able to make the selfless one. It did not make it easier, the way this seemed to come so simply to Wei Ying, showing him even more how noble and true to his word and good Wei Ying was. How could he ever have thought that he was beyond help, corrupted, unorthodox and needed to be cleansed? The real Wei Ying was right here, behind all these walls, standing here before him.
So slowly, and only once, Lan Wangji nodded.
"Good! That's good.", Wei Ying laughed, the expression on his face seemed sad. "Then there's one more thing.", His face was more serious now, his gaze never leaving Wangji's.
"Mn." Anything , he wanted to say, but did not.
"If I ever do lose control, get out of hand..." he paused, swallowing. Wangji's eyebrows drew together at the thought, the notion that this was an option for Wei Ying, something he needed to consider. "I want you to kill me."
Maybe not anything.
"What?" his tongue spoke but Wangji was not there. He was frozen, staring, his breath hitching. Everything felt like he was floating underwater, submerging in the cold pond as when they were pulled under to enter the cave without warning. How could you ask that of me!? , he wanted to scream, but instead, all that came out was "Why me?", in a strained whisper, so low that he was lucky Wei Ying even heard it.
"Because I trust you, too.", Wei Ying still looked so sad, but also very, very serious and Wangji wanted to grab him and shake him back to his senses, because this was so wrong, wrong, wrong-
"I trust you will make the right choice, as we promised. No regrets, right?" but Wangji did not even see his smug, surely ironic, far too inappropriate smile this time around, his vision was swimming, and he desperately worked his throat to keep on being able to form words and not let the tears spill over.
"How could I ever not regret something like that?" he knew that he was shaking, and this time no clenching of his fists would abide it. Each breath was a conscious effort to him now, trying to grapple with the controlled edges of his mind, so his heart would not betray him. So he would not grab Wei Ying tightly and tried to show him, make him see, just how much and why he would not be able to do that. The first tear escaped his hold and dropped down his cheak, a hot trail of sorrow. Just the thought of Bichen drenched in the blood of- No.
"Wei Ying. What are you planning that makes you think that is a necessary contingency plan?", Wangji insisted this time, left no room for dodging his question, because he needed to know .
This time it was Wei Ying's turn to set his jaw and not answer. Before he knew it, Wangj had his fingers outstretched, pulling Wei Ying towards him by the front of his robes, shaking him like he had wanted to, a few seconds ago.
"Wei Ying!" it was not a scream, but it still made Wei Ying flinch. He wanted to let go, he did, but his muscles were so tight and his brain was screaming and there was panic blooming inside him like an old wound openly weeping. What did Wei Ying think was going to happen and why would he ask that, why, how-
"I'm sorry, Lan Zhan, but I can't tell you.", came the answer, slow and steady, calculated. "We are still at war, and it is too risky." Wei Ying tilted his head, only a little, but the red under his eyes seemed more pronounced at this angle and Wangji had to breathe deeply to keep his composure while up this close to his face. "Even you might be tortured for secrets. It might be drawn out of you. I will not risk your life-"
"But you would your own?!" another hollow huff from Wei Ying.
"I thought we already established this, if it's me or-"
"That is not the point!" now it is a shout, and a shove, and Wei Ying flies back farther than he thought he would, lightweight as he is, crashing against the door to the outside. It gives a shake, but Wei Ying keeps standing, his face morphing into a weird expression of disbelief mixed with...something Lan Wangji can't identify, a smile but also not quite.
"Oh, then what is the point, Lan-er-gege?" his voice was a drawl, one eyebrow raised, and Wangji's blood was pumping through him furiously fast. He swallowed, opening his mouth to say something, but Wei Ying was blinking at him from his spot at the door now, eyelashes throwing heavy shadows over his face and Wangji could not think clearly. He knew that he was furious, he was , that he could not believe the gull of the question, wanted to shake Wei Wuxian until he explained to him what he wanted to do that would probably get him fucking killed. ..
But a tiny part of him that was growing from a tiny spark into a proper flame also wanted to press Wei Ying against the door and kiss that infuriating smile off his smug face-
The door opened with a crash and Wei Ying yelped, drawing away from it only fast enough not to be crushed in the side with the sliding mechanism.
"Ah! Why are you bursting in-" Wei Ying started, but he stopped himself when he saw who it was. Wangji himself looked over, being in better view of the door and spotting Jiang Wanyin, Wen Qing and a figure that was slightly hunched over, being supported by her. In the background he spotted Jiang Yanli, too, looking worried and hovering nearby. Wei Ying's eyes widened in disbelief, staring at the hunched figure.
"Wen Ning?!?"
Notes:
WELP that conversation went well :D (that smile is WWX being horny, too, LWJ *cough*). Anyway.
I had a version where he straight up shows him the tyger seal but i scrapped that because honestly, WWX is trusting LWJ a lot more a lot earlier here anyway (i hope I don't have to explain why, it's all that emotional vulnerability baby) and I think he wants the tyger seal as a last resort that will trump Wen Ruohan for sure and he *knows* that none of his friends and family will let him use it if they know what it is. Which makes this just SO delicious *giddy jumping*. Sorry sorry I'm good.
I hope you enjoyed that. I enjoyed writing horny LWJ a lot lmao. Maybe a bit too much. I know he wasn't that extreme in the last chapters but I feel like he starts to see WWX is actually not evil (tm) and so his instincts are just like 'shit no yeah i want him very very badly' hah. Also him holding himself back so much doesn't actually HELP the pining x'D. We won't have a LWJ chapter until Chapter 17 now so he has to get all his thoughts about how sexy WWX is out now lol.
Up next: Hah I'm actually still writing this...but it's a Wen Qing chapter and there's def some wound tending, I can promise that. She gets her lil bro back! Exciting. The Jin might be dicks again (well one in particular) so that's a thing that also happens a bit earlier. Yanli is a badass as she deserves.
What do you think happened to WN? :)
Chapter 12: You will not be more than a rat in the gutter
Summary:
There's soup and talk about soup (and YanlixZixuan goodness), then Wen Ning is back and Wen Qing is v happy about that, even though the arrival is very dramatic. But Yanli gets to be badass yeah.
Trigger Warning: Implied/referenced Torture, wound tending, blood.
Notes:
Hello, welcome back! *wave. I know the core reveal is over so most of you probably think 'wait I thought this was done'. NO! I have a LOT more ground to cover lmaoo so pls stay with me??? I'd be really thankful. I promise, starting Chapter 13 it's gonna get much more angsty again ;D. This is a lil dip of hope before Nightless City.
Anyway, hope you enjoy!! Pls leave a comment if you have any thoughts! <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wen Qing
Living as the only Wen in the Unclean Realm had been...interesting.
After the incident with Jin Zixun, Wen Qing had thought that she might have to walk a thin line to survive in this place, between the victims of war, whom she tended, and the clan leaders, whom she avoided like an untreatable sickness. Her assumptions weren’t completely wrong.
It was a true stroke of luck that Sect Leader Jiang remained as positive towards her as he did. After all, she starkly remembered that her cousin had taken their city in a bloodbath, they had lost their people, their family...Wei Wuxian did not blame her for a second.
"That wasn't you.", he dismissed her worries one of these days after she had finished another examination. She did not know why she even told him about his worries, but she had and he had soothed right over them like it was nothing. Wen Qing snorted, slightly amused at how lightly he could just do this. For being filled to the brim with resentful energy, this man had so little of it for himself it was amazing. "I killed those responsible. Only one missing.", he said, smiling at her from the side, his lips forming something sinister. She did not flinch away, instead lifting an eyebrow.
"I was his doctor for many years.", she said, as if to defend ...what? That he should hate her?
"Oh? Well at least he's not completely dense, then." Wei Wuxian snorted, drawing his sash around himself to get back into decent dress after the examination. His bruises were starting to heal nicely with the paste she applied and the infection in the brand had vanished completely. "He took the best doctor in the land. Should I blame you for that?" the casual way he smiled at her was all it needed to make her shake her head.
"Most would" she spoke from experience. Jin Zixun had not been the only one to stop her, glare at her, calling her names. She might be wearing Jiang Yanli's old robes, but it was still known who she was and the people fighting in this war were rightly unwelcome to one of the same people they were fighting tending to them.
"Well", Wei Wuxian was still smiling. "I'm not most people."
And wasn't that the truth.
So it was just one other afternoon when she had found herself face to face with another Jin. The circumstances were different as he was sitting in a chair in the healing quarters when she rounded the corner. A female cultivator was at his side, fussing over his shoulder, which was visibly bleeding from a shallow cut on his upper arm.
"It's fine, Mian Mian. I'll live.", he grumbled, rolling his eyes at her hovering. Wen Qing quickly realized why she seemed familiar. She was the one Wei Wuxian had taken that nasty brand iron for in the Xuanwu cave.
"Don't say that, those corpses were nasty. There's several others bedridden from the poison! Ohhh Madam Jin is going to kill me!"
"I'll look at it. If that's okay.", Wen Qing inserted herself into their conversation. Mian Mian still looked at the wound when she answered.
"Of course it's okay, why would it -Oh. Wen Qing." she had looked up, finally, and at her name, Jin Zixuan also whirled around to look at her, and his own eyes widened. That vermilion mark looked like a brand to Wen Qing in and off itself, suddenly. There was a moment where she could have sworn that he was going to ask for another doctor, or that Mian Mian was going to. Wen Qing decided to save him the embarrassment.
"Should I go fetch Lady Jiang to look at it instead? She is quite proficient herself.", she tried to weave understanding into her voice, even though something in her wanted to protest, too. She was a doctor, she healed a lot of soldiers, even Jin. There was no reason for her to be biased. But she knew that Jin Zixun was very talkative and had probably a similar stance to his cousin-
"No. No that's okay, don't-" Jin Zixuan swallowed and Wen Qing realized that his cheeks were flaming red. "Don't bother her on my account.", he waved that away, but Wen Qing didn't miss Mian Mian's eye-roll.
"Alright. Then let me take a look.", while she worked, there was mostly silence, Jin Zixuan was not flinching away from her touch or probing or even moving much when she stitched the wound closed.
"What did you mean?", he asked, when she was halfway done with the stitches. Her fingers haltered for a moment, but then she answered.
"What did I mean with what?"
"That Lady Jiang is proficient. In what?" again, there was a blush on his cheek and Mian Mian hid her snort behind a barely acceptable cough. Wen Qing debated for a second what she should tell him. Then again, why not the truth? Lady Jiang deserved a little praise for all she did around here.
"Medical Cultivation. She's been helping with the wounded and in the kitchen for longer than I am here. I've been teaching her a bit on the cultivation side, too. I'm very impressed at her skill so far.", she explained, voice calm while the needle went into his skin again. Jin Zixuan seemed to contemplate this, his face a myriad of emotions for a second, before he carefully pulled it back into a blank. She knew for a fact that Lady Jiang had often been ridiculed for not being good at conventional cultivation, with a sword. But sword cultivation was not all a cultivator was capable of and not the only path. Some of the young -mostly- men being led down it often thought that it was, but there was much more to explore, versatile things to study. Out of the three Jiang siblings, wasn't Jiang Wanyin by now the only one even using a sword?
"The kitchens, too? I have to say I do enjoy this soup they often deliver." he said as if to change the topic. Soup? Mostly the rations were practical here, rice and meat to keep up strength. She had never received any soup except for the one Lady Jiang- Oh. That made sense. Wen Qing tried to hide her smile at her friend's clever tricks. Then again, Jin Zixuan had apparently not realized the soup's origin, so she wondered if it did her any good in the first place. Maybe she could subtly help while she completed these stitches. Usually, she preferred not to meddle, most of all not in romance areas, but some of these people here were just so dense...She might have pulled on that last stitch a little too hard, because Jin Zixuan flinched slightly.
"Soup? What kind of soup are you referring to?", she asked, as if not knowing what he was talking about. Mian Mian looked up at her from the side, squinting, uncertain where Wen Qing was going with this conversation. Mian Mian was not interrupting her though.
"You know, almost every evening a servant girl brings by a bowl of soup to my rooms."
"That's the first I heard of that. I'm not getting any soup.", Wen Qing lied. Because in fact she was getting that same soup, from Lady Jiang, whenever she made it for her brothers...and apparently for Jin Zixuan.
"Oh? That might just be because-" he interrupted himself before tripping into the uncomfortable territory of 'are you a prisoner or a guest, I'm not quite sure'. Instead, he cleared his throat. "Anyway, it's quite good, it has lotuses in it."
"Lotuses, huh? That's quite unusual.", she commented, finishing up the last stitch and pulling the wound closed before making the knot at the end. That should be that with the stitches and hopefully the soup conversation.
"It is? I thought lotus soup w-" he paused, face suddenly going slack. "Oh.", he breathed, suddenly having lost the ability to sit still, he squirmed under her bandage wrapping and looked over to her impatiently until she lifted her hands, gesturing she was finished.
"I have to go....somewhere.", he said, and then he was gone. The two women blinked after him and then simultaneously sighed. Wen Qing snorted at this slightly and handed a small bottle to Mian Mian, who took it with a slight nod.
"Here, make sure he drinks this in the evening. Perhaps after his soup.", she refrained from winking, but thought her tone delivered the knowledge behind it far enough. By the shake of Mian Mian's head and the purse of her lips, she was right.
"Thank you, Lady Wen. I will make sure he does." Mian Mian bowed to her, more politely than most would, and then she was also gone, hurrying after her friend. Wen Qing moved on to her next patient.
"Zixuan talked to me today", Jiang Yanli said at dinner that night. She was hiding her flush well, but probably not well enough to fool her brothers. Judging by Wei Wuxian's eye-roll, that was about right.
"Actually talked? Not fumbled or made a fool of himself?", Jiang Wanyin questioned, laced in disbelief.
"Or insulted you", Wei Wuxian added, bitterness running deep, taking another spoonful of the very soup this had been all about. Jiang Yanli's face scrunched up for a second, but then she gave an exasperated sigh at her brothers.
"Well, not as much as usual.", she snickered behind her sleeve at that.
It was nice, talking like this with them and Wen Qing knew that she was fortunate, under their protection. At the same time, she wished they didn't take the risk of it. It was only a matter of time until someone snapped, she thought.
Her instinct in this regard proved right on the day when Jiang Wanyin found out about the core.
Wen Qing found herself in the back, in the room they shared, talking to Jiang Yanli.
"I think you should try this next", pointing at a paragraph in a book, she slid it over the table at the other woman, who nodded, then paused, giving a small sigh.
"Thank you again, for teaching me. I know you don't have to, and I know it's probably a bunch of sect secrets...", Jiang Yanli scrunched up her face, but Wen Qing shook her head.
"No, it's not. The Dafan Wen have never believed in keeping our techniques secret if they could instead help more people. We're not the Gusu Lan."
"Still.", the smile was nonetheless grateful. But there was more she wanted to say, and Wen Qing patiently waited until Jiang Yanli continued. "Say, Wen Qing", she shuffled in her seat, unlike her normal effortless gracefulness. They had started to call each other by their names some time ago. It was a nice gesture, she thought.
"Mh?"
"Do you think A-Xian could regrow his core?"
Wen Qing blinked, then blinked again. She knew her face went through a few expressions before settling on carefully blank. It was not a pleasant task, having to explain this to such a caring sibling, but she needed to know.
"After it is gone, a core-" but she was interrupted, gently but firmly, by Jiang Yanli.
"See but A-Xian's core wasn't burned out. It was taken out. This is the first time you did this, yes?", her voice was firmer than she was used to from Lady Jiang, but Wen Qing still nodded slowly, starting to understand where she was going with this.
"It is the first time anyone did this, as far as I know. It was just a theory."
"So that means you don't know if he could grow it back?"
A small beat of silence, then Wen Qing huffed in amusement.
"I guess I don't.", she admitted out loud. It was not like she had not thought about this at all, but hearing it laid out so simply, thinking about the difference between the meridians being burned, frayed, at the edges and her carefully cutting the core out...maybe that did make a difference. Maybe it did not. "I would not dare to put hope in his heart though, if we can't be more certain.", she then said, diminishing the winning smile that had formed on Jiang Yanli's face a little.
"Of course."
"We should wait until after the war. Then maybe we can also coax him away from resentful energy as a whole. It would be more healthy for his body.", she mused, forming the conversation in her mind. She was more confident with Wei Wuxian's health now that she took care of his outer wounds mostly, but it was still dangerous, the techniques that he practiced. The resentful energy swirled through his body like a poison, and it would be hard as a long term solution, if he wanted to live past 25.
She did not say that out loud.
"Okay. Okay, that's a good plan. Thank you, Wen Qing.", Jiang Yanli said, clearly shining with hope about the whole thing. Honestly, Wen Qing was just glad that she didn't ask for another core transfer. This family was riddled with sacrificial idiots, and it had been enough for this day that Jiang Wanyin had asked her to transfer the core back into Wei Wuxian.
Their idle talk after this was interrupted by Jiang Wanyin, bursting into the room. He was out of breath, as if he'd hurried for quite a distance, and his eyes searched that of Wen Qing.
"He Gang arrived, he, he found-"
"A-Ning?", she dared not hope, but her voice said the name on instinct, as if she had been holding it in under lock and key and the room was bursting at the seams. Jiang Wanyin nodded.
"Where?", her voice sounded as urgent as the unsettling feeling in her belly felt.
"Infirmary", he breathed out with his next breath.
Wen Qing was moving before Jiang Wanyin could react or try to hold her back. "Wait! There's a ruckus, you shouldn't- Goddamnit", she heard him curse and then there were steps hurrying after her. Her needles were ready and even if they weren't, if her brother was here, there was no holding her back from anything, even just plain punching someone.
A-Ning! A-Ning please be okay…
For the last few days she had not dared, not in the slightest, to call his name, even in her thoughts. The dread of their imprisonment after the core transfer had been too fresh in her mind and the image of him being dragged away from her for interrogation-
"He should be in the dungeon with the other prisoners!" a voice sounded when they neared the infirmary. Jiang Wanyin was right behind her, she knew so because she could faintly hear the sizzling of his whip coming to life.
"Sect Leader Jiang ordered-"
"Jiang Wanyin can suck it, that little brat! He's what, seventeen? As if he would understand the repercussions of bringing a Wen inside our stronghold!"
They rounded the corner and indeed, in front of them was a ruckus, as Jiang Wanyin had put it.
People were gathered just outside the entrance of the infirmary. Firstly, there were several Nie guards. But they stood around the scene and did not interfere, apparently waiting for it to go either way. Then there was Jin Zixun, the one who had yelled so loudly. He was towering over a Jiang soldier, who was himself standing in front of a figure on the ground, slumped over in another Jiang soldier's arms, limply hanging and clearly injured.
"A-Ning!" Wen Qing found herself yelling without being able to hold back even as Jin Zixun had already taken out his sword and was clearly about to deal a blow. She could have reacted and thrown a needle at him, but she knew what repercussions that would have. If she harmed him, it was just another Wen acting out. So she did the only thing she could, really, and hugged her brother tight, shielding him from the blow. The Jiang soldier in front of them moved, too, drawing his own sword. But Jin Zixun was too fast, the swords passed, only a few centimeters now…
There was the sound of lightning and then a sword hitting the ground next to her with a clang.
"Ugh!" Jin Zixun hissed, tearing -or rather trying- to tear his hand out from where Zidian was enclosing it.
"This brat has something to say about you slaying innocents right in front of all these people. Especially his sister and my sister.", Jiang Wanyin's voice was cool and calculating, but one could clearly hear the contempt and anger boiling beneath, threatening to boil over. Jiang Yanli was indeed just arriving at the scene, not as fast a runner as her brother and not as desperate a sprinter as Wen Qing had been. She was now lunging towards them as well, kneeling beside Wen Qing and A-Ning. Jin Zixun followed her movement with gritted teeth, clearly still trying to free himself from the liquid lightning around his wrist, wincing when the movement sent more voltage up his arm.
Now that the threat was out of the way for now, Wen Qing got to tear herself off her brother just to be able to actually examine him. The Jiang soldier beside A-Ning had withdrawn a little, so she could do so, leaving A-Ning to her and Jiang Yanli. She was grateful for the protection, because the soldier was soon standing behind A-Ning, guarding his back while the other one was still facing in Jin Zixun's direction, sword now drawn and keeping Jin Zixun from grabbing for his own sword on the ground again.
Wen Ning was limp in her arms, but as she examined him now, he slowly began to stir.
"A-Ning!", she gently stroked his cheek to stir him. There was a groan and then his voice croaked, hoarse from lack of use and possibly screaming, if Wen Qing's fears were true.
"Jiejie...", he whispered, clearly recognizing her voice. A little glimmer of hope inside her sparked to life, and she felt her face pull off a smile. No, her eyes were not tearing up, she was fine.
"Yes, it's me. You're alright now, you're safe. Can you open your eyes for me, Didi?", she coaxed. It was a little white lie with the safety. After all, the Nie soldiers had not made their move yet and Jin Zixun was not alone. There were more Jin cultivators around, some had their swords drawn and pointed in their direction. Wen Qing wondered what this was going to escalate to and was frankly shocked at the length that the Jiang soldiers as well as their sect leader's family were willing to go to for her now. Then there was a little voice inside her wondering if she wished Wei Wuxian were here to step in, or if she was glad they did not alert him and it was better this way.
But it seemed that if you had one Jiang sibling on your side, you had the other two as well.
"Let-me-go!", Jin Zixun hissed.
"Maybe you shouldn't have called our sect leader a brat", came the voice of one of the Jiang soldiers, clearly not caring about Jin Zixun's status. The Jin cousin spluttered, snarled and his gaze fell on Jiang Wanyin, whose eyebrow rose as if daring him to speak that way to him again.
"I'll call him whatever I want, he's harboring criminals and bringing in our enemies into this already falling apart camp!"
"Excuse me, this ‘camp’ is well put together. Do not insult our second master!", came the snarl from a Nie soldier.
"Ah, that's nice, Nie Ping, but that's really not necessary.", came the voice from Nie Huaisang, whom Wen Qing briefly recognized in the crowd. She knew for a fact that he was mainly organizing and maintaining the Unclean Realm while his brother was manning the front lines. It was a reasonable teamwork and Wen Qing had actually been impressed with how well he handled it. Jin Zixun, apparently, was not finished.
"What do the Jiang have to provide to this war, anyway? They were already a small sect coming in, and what do they have now, a hundred something men? Are you so desperate that you add Wen dogs to your cluster now?" another huff from Jin Zixun. Surprising probably everyone except Wen Qing herself, Jiang Yanli now slowly rose beside her. She had gotten to know the woman very well over their time here and her temperament was interestingly very similar to her brothers, just expressed very differently. The similarity was that one should never cross their family.
Jiang Wanyin had opened his mouth to defend his sect, but Jiang Yanli lifted her hand combined with a gaze at him, and he fell silent, a slow smile spreading on his face, then shooting Jin Zixun a gaze that almost looked like pity. Wen Qing saw Jiang Yanli balling her fists and stepping forward. Wen Qing herself was only half paying attention, assessing her brother's surface wounds while still kneeling on the stony ground. It was important that she knew what was going to happen around her though, so she kept half listening. That's why she saw that from another direction behind Jiang Yanli, Jin Zixuan arrived on the scene with Mian Mian and another soldier. It was too late to stop Lady Jiang though.
"Jin Zixun.", she said and even though the Jin cousin had been about to open his mouth back up, he shut it as if hit by a Lan silencing spell, blinking at the tone in Jiang Yanli's voice. It was sharp, cutting and cold like ice. "I'm sure your duties on the battlefield keep you away from the infirmary quite thoroughly, so maybe you are not aware.", she paused for effect, tilting her head a fraction. "Wen Qing is indeed the best doctor that is known in the cultivation world. She has saved countless lives in this stronghold, your own soldiers included."
Another belittling huff from Jin Zixun, interrupting her rudely.
"That doesn't change her origin, she's still a Wen."
"Maybe. But the world is not so black and white, Jin Zixun. The Wen sect is big. They have branches. I'm sure you know this from your own sect." she said this like it was an easy mistake for a four-year-old to make, which she clearly took Jin Zixun for. "The Dafan Wen are specialists of medicine, and they live on a remote mountain, they rarely have anything to do with the Qishan Wen." she huffs herself now, pointing to Wen Qing on the ground. This was not fully true, Wen Qing was after all related to Wen Ruohan. But she was not going to protest Lady Jiang’s defense. "Wen Qing and her brother helped us after our sect fell. Which is, Jin Zixun, why we may not have as many cultivators to show for ourselves. I'm sure it's comfortable for you, with your uncle sitting in Koi tower without contributing to this war. It's easy to dismiss our efforts as futile from atop that golden set of stairs, is it not? To point to others and say 'You're not doing enough!' while only sending a fraction of your troops to war at all. I'm sure that's very...satisfying." her jaw was set and Jiang Yanli probably knew that everyone was staring at her. It did not seem to matter. She took another step forward.
"Now if you want to throw your weight around, how about you pick on people worthy of your anger? Instead of causing a feud in the ranks of your own campaign." she narrowed her eyes, lifting her chin, setting into the final blow. "If you insult my brother or the Dafan Wen like that one more time, Zidian is sure to find a better target than your wrist." her gaze flickered to Jin Zixun's neck, then she met his eyes again. It was as if an icy breeze crept down all of their backs. The next second, Jiang Yanli’s expression shifted, and her stance loosened and suddenly she was smiling again, all warm and welcome, turning away from Jin Zixun and towards the Jiang soldiers. To their credit, they were not phased or astonished by her behavior, only bowing their heads to her in respect.
"Thank you for bringing Wen Ning here directly. Nie-Er-Gonzi." she addressed Nie Huaisang, who blinked and quickly took a step forward.
"Y-yes, Lady Jiang?" he asked.
"I am sorry that we caused such disturbances. I hope it is understandable that we kept this mission a secret. It was a simple exchange of favor between Wen Qing and my family. There was no need to concern Sect Leader Nie, but I understand if we should bring it up in front of the council at this point in time. If you feel more secure in having Wen Ning and Wen Qing here, I am sure they would agree to have guards to watch their actions, though my family can ensure their loyalty."
This made Wen Qing's head snap up. She had started to bandage the most urgent of A-Ning's wounds, talking to him in a hushed voice, to calm him but keep him awake and with her after a slight energy transfer. Now she wanted to protest. Jiang Yanli really shouldn't do such a thing as hold out her own neck for them. It was dizzying, the length they were driving this protection to when they were risking the ire of so many dangerous parties. The stubbornness in this family...no wonder Wei Wuxian was like this. But contrary to her fears, Nie Huaisang only smiled, fanned his face and nodded.
"I see. No, I trust your judgement, Lady Jiang. If I may, the Dafan Wen, would that be Dafan Mountain?" his gaze flew to Wen Qing on the ground, and she felt her eyes widen a bit. Yes, Nie Huaisang had been there with her, in the search for the Yin Iron. Of course...a small smile grazed her lips when she bowed to him from the floor.
"Yes, Nie-er-gonzi. That is where we were born."
"I see. I will keep an ear out." a quiet chuckle. "Wouldn't want that statue to haunt us all.", he said more quietly but loud enough so their little party could hear. Wen Qing's hand tightened on her brother's shoulder, because that damn statue had once sucked a piece of his soul, and she was still not over it. Wen Ning noticed and lifted a weak hand, squeezing her own and giving her a small smile. Gods above, she had missed him.
"Excuse me, what the fuck?" Jin Zixun barked. He sounded suspiciously like a rabid dog. "Why are you defending these rats suddenly? Zixuan!" he demanded, pointing at his cousin. That was apparently when Jiang Yanli also noticed him, her eyes widening and her shoulders slumping a little. But otherwise, her face remained pleasant and straight, she gave a little nod in his direction.
Jin Zixuan for his part was staring at Jiang Yanli as if hypnotized. He blinked when his name was called and raised an eyebrow at his cousin, who kept ranting.
"She's your fiancé, right? Tell her where her place is! How can you allow her to talk to me like this? Make these Wen dogs disappear!"
"Zixun." Zixuan's voice cut through his cousin's voice with barely held up anger. It seemed he had had enough of this as well. "Be quiet. You're embarrassing us." it was a hiss, his cheeks were red and his fists balled. Hurriedly, he bowed towards Lady Jiang and obviously struggled to untie his own tongue from the top of his mouth. Wen Qing asked herself what the hell was happening right now. She had already seen herself with one foot in the dungeon, but the direction this was taking...
"I apologize for my cousin. Wen Qing has indeed treated me before and my shoulder has recovered remarkably well. I will not hinder her work to endanger the other soldiers." Jin Zixuan cleared his throat and forced himself to continue, cheeks still flaming. "Lady Jiang. You are right that my father has not provided much help in this war. I have tried to motivate him in this, tried to ask him for more troops, but he would only let me leave with my own choice of cultivators and thus only a fraction of what we should be offering." another clearing of his throat. Wen Qing asked herself if she had to look at his throat to make sure he didn't catch a frog in there. "I know that is not an excuse. I have written to my mother about it and she has been reassuring me that efforts towards the contrary are being made.", that was as roundabout as one could get towards 'I asked my Mommy for help and she says she's handling it'.
"That's...that's good.", Jiang Yanli said, but she clearly did not know how to answer that. It was a start, for sure. Also, Jin Zixuan did not have to address this in public like this, and that he did it so openly was something Wen Qing did not expect, most of all not from a Jin. Was this truly Jin Guangshan’s son?
"I need to treat him. Can we move?", Wen Qing finally interrupted their wordless staring contest, Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan weirdly lovingly, Jiang Wanyin and Jin Zixun murderously and Nie Huaisang and his subordinates still torn about it all. She stood, suppressing a sigh at these people's behavior, A-Ning's arm over her shoulder, and bowed to the two Jiangs, then Jin Zixuan and Nie Huaisang.
"Thank you, sect leaders and heirs. My family owes you many debts for taking us under your wing in such dangerous times. My uncle is a dangerous opponent to face, and I have been disturbed by his methods for many years, forced to work for him under threat for my brother's life." she paused, slowly getting up from her bow, which was difficult in the first place with A-Ning around her neck, but she managed as gracefully as possible. "I would freely agree to have guards posted if it secured your belief in my and my brother's loyalty. Now please excuse us, I need to tend to him."
And with as much pride as she had left, she strode in the direction of the Jiang chambers. She hoped it was alright that they wandered there instead of the infirmary. She would rather have the privacy, if she was honest, afraid that Jin Zixun would come to her brother at night and do his worst. Wen Qing was also pretty certain that Wei Wuxian would want to be close for A-Ning's recovery, given that they had grown rather close over the few times they had met.
There was another sizzling sound, then a few words she did not hear and in the next second, Jiang Wanyin was at A-Ning's other side, carrying the rest of the weight. He didn't say anything, just smiled rather warmly and pet her shoulder gently, carefully, before returning his focus to the front.
"A-Jie is going to handle Jin Zixun and the Nie", he explained when Wen Qing asked herself where Jiang Yanli was. Of course. But Lady Jiang soon rejoined them, as their steps were rather slow with their burden between them.
"We should go to A-Xian's room.", she said and Jiang Wanyin just nodded in agreement.
And so, with a rather unkind kick to the doorframe, he opened the door to Wei Wuxian's room. They heard a yelp, and Wei Wuxian saying something, quickly interrupting himself.
"Wen Ning?!", his voice was shocked. Lan Wangji was also still in the room and- wait, were that tears on his face? He saw them entering, and his jaw clenched, his sleeve quickly clearing his face. He gave a very quick bow in their general direction and turned around.
"Excuse me."
"Lan Zhan wait!" Wei Wuxian yelled. "Shit.", was added in a hiss. Wen Qing wondered what happened between them to shake Lan Wangji up so badly, but then her focus was back on her brother, slowly helping him into Wei Wuxian's bed. The owner of the bed seemed torn between running after Lan Wangji and staying, finally deciding that this was more important, because he stepped closer.
"He was found?"
"Yes, and now the whole Unclean Realm knows about them", Jiang Wanyin said, face grim, making Wei Wuxian grimace.
"Should I add some protection to the rooms?", his voice was low, as if not to disturb her in her work. It was far easier to work on him, now that A-Ning was lying down. She unceremoniously tore off his ruined outer robes and A-Ning shivered from the sudden cold.
"Wei-Gonzi?", he asked, weak, maybe only recognizing the voice.
"Yes, I'm here, Wen Ning.", Wei Wuxian's voice was reassuring, but he did not approach the bed, only hovering nearby.
"That's good. I heard....Burial Mounds.", A-Ning mumbled. "Was worried." of course. Of course A-Ning would be worried about his friend even in his own precarious situation. Wen Qing herself rolled her eyes with a deep sigh at this while Wei Wuxian laughed, clearly amused.
"You know me, nothing can kill me that easily.", his tone was interesting, when he said that. Torn between boasting and downright sadness.
"Good." A-Ning was mumbling, almost incoherent again, and Wen Qing turned around to gesture for Wei Wuxian to continue, to keep him awake. It was better for treatment, for now, to assess his reactions to her actions, while she pressed to his torso, closing her eyes to concentrate. Good, his core was intact, thrumming beneath her fingertips. She felt the rest of his body, expertly looking for more places to treat while Wei Wuxian kept up the conversation.
"Where were you, Wen Ning?", he asked. A-Ning swallowed, and Wen Qing realized his throat was probably bone dry. She was about to whirl around and ask for water, when Jiang Yanli already held up a cup to her, smiling. Taking it with a nod of thanks, she pressed it to A-Ning's lips carefully, giving the conversation a small pause.
“Captured, imprisoned.” another swallow, this time probably from nerves more than dryness “The Wen wanted information about you, the others about the Wen.” he shuddered. Wei Wuxian frowned.
“Others?”, good question, she also wanted to know.
“Jin...I think. That’s where He Gang found me.” Jiang Yanli’s sharp intake was unmistakable.
“That peacock!” surprisingly it was not Wei Wuxian who said this, but rather Jiang Wanyin.
“No. No I think he would have said. It must have been Jin Zixun.”, Jiang Yanli sounded sure, shaking her head in disbelief. Surprisingly, Wen Qing found herself agreeing. The Jin heir had spoken out so honestly right now, and he had been here the last few days, recovering from his wound and planning the next advance with the other sect leaders. It was unlikely to be him.
“Yes! I think so too. Pretty sure. His voice seemed...familiar.”, A-Ning coughed, a little, his eyes opening wider and clearly asking for water. Wei Wuxian huffed a tired laugh, drawing his hand over his face.
“That little…” he interrupted himself with another huff. “Will he be okay?”, came the question instead, directed at Wen Qing. She turned to him now, for the first time loosening her hands from her brother completely.
“Yes, I think so. How are you feeling, A-Ning?”
“Mn, a little better, thank you, Jiejie.” a smile came to his face and A-Ning immediately tried to sit. With a disquieting huff, she helped him up, pulling the pillow so it sat vertically behind his back, supporting him against the wooden bed frame. “Wei-Gonzi, how are you...doing?”, he asked, hesitating with his gaze around the room. Wei Wuxian gave a sigh.
“They all know, Wen Ning. Found out earlier today. About the core.”
“Oh. But that’s good, right?”
“I don’t know, is it?”, Jiang Wanyin asked, crossing his arms. He seemed defensive, and Wen Qing found herself being able to see right through it.
“Yes. Yes, that’s good.” Wei Wuxian reached forward to ruffle his brother’s hair in a teasing way, getting Jiang Wanyin to dodge him with a loud protest. Wen Qing found herself smiling at that, shaking her head and rolling her eyes. A-Ning had his eyes on her, when she opened her own again, and he was smiling so warmly that she had to think hard on the last time she saw that expression on his face.
“I’m glad you’re well, Jiejie. I was worried for you as well. They left you in that cell and then I heard that office fell and I thought you were still in there…” he took a deep breath and Wen Qing found herself drawing forward and hugging him to her fiercely, burying her face in his shoulder and feeling him do the same.
For a few minutes, nobody said anything. Wen Qing felt a hand on her upper back, rubbing gently. She was not sure which of the Jiang siblings it was, but it did not matter. With A-Ning back, she felt like whatever the world had in store for them now would be much easier to swallow.
The little kindling of optimism was new, but not unwelcome.
(So much more than a rat)
Notes:
Jin Zixuan's (very slow) brain: Wait Lotus Soup? Hah yeah I'm sure that's normal in the Unclean Realm right? Oh wait a minute...Lotuses....why does that ring a bell- AH! oh shit.
Sorry I had too much fun with the YanliZixuan stuff (ZuLi?? What's their ship name), but Wen Qing got her lil bro back and that was fun to write, too. I know Yanli is being v forward but honestly, Zixun is being an ass again and he needs to be put in HIS place, not she in hers. Hope you enjoyed!!
SO how do you think I'll change Nightless City with what happened until now? ;D It may actually suprise you lmao
~~
Up Next: Nightless City battle and the war before that. Anything more would be spoiler-y but it's WWX's POV.
EDIT: God people I'm very sorry but I did NOT get to write this week, like, at ALL so I'm gonna have to take a break. Be reassured though, I have the next week off work so I'll be writing a lot more :* Maybe I'll manage to upload two so you're not left with a cliffhanger -though I don't want to promise being able to write double x_x
Let's just say I'm sorry for being late and thank you for your constant support <3
Chapter 13: Today of all Days
Summary:
Approach to Nightless City, War Planning, the Battle of Nightless City only #different
Trigger Warnings: Limp loss, Blood, Severe Wounds, Death, Necromancy (you know, all the good stuff)
Notes:
Hi!! I'm so sorry this took me two weeks but gods, action is so difficult to write, guys, I was dying (also stress at work last week).
Anyway, I hope this is halfway coherent...trigger warnings in the chapter summary. If there's any I forgot pls tell me! I made a lil summary in the end notes for people not wanting to read about those things.
Oh, I call it Stygian Tyger Seal to keep it from being confusing with the Yin Iron and for no other real reason.
Otherwise, this was fun! We're back to angst :) You were warned.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian
It was now clearer to him, why many people described war as 'hell'.
The Sunshot Campaign was an endless struggle between forces, back and forth, ground gained very slowly and sluggishly, and it felt like it would never end. The Jiang forces had been small to begin with, but the sheer number of Wen Soldiers and -as they came closer to Nightless City- the fierce corpses was overwhelming even to the bigger forces of Lan and Nie.
"How are you so sure you'll even win?", Wen Qing said one evening when they sat around the fire after a particularly gruesome battle.
"I never said I was sure", Jiang Cheng said, voice weirdly hoarse. Lan Zhan was not with them, he was running an errand for Zewu-Jun and would be back later in the week. Wei Wuxian felt a hollow and anxious flutter in his chest at the worry of him going around the battlefield by himself. He stared at his brother as Wen Qing nodded into her food.
"I'm sure.", Wei Wuxian said after a short moment of contemplation. Wen Qing's eyebrow lifted as she turned to him.
"Oh? How?"
"We'll win. We will win because we have to.", he lets this hang in the air before he gets up to leave for bed, letting the two of them sit together without him.
More often than not, Wei Wuxian was exhausted. Since he couldn't fight with his sword and was saving the nastier, more powerful “tricks” of his until later, he was often playing his dizi for hours at a time during the battles. He played battle music to support the cultivator's qi, he even subtly slowed down the corpses once or twice, just to test it out. But he did not outright control them, not yet. Why? Because he could practically feel their allies’ discontent against corpses being used for war at all, and he understood it and why. At the same time he felt like they had no other choice in the matter than to counter these methods with a similar ferocity.
Their cultivators were dying. Even with Jin Guangshan finally getting his ass up -because his son got hurt and his wife threatened him- did not buy them as much of an advantage as they would have liked.
The Jin army was massive. Wen Ruohan's was endless.
One positive thing at least was that he could fight side by side with Lan Zhan again most of the time. Other times, like today, it was Jiang Cheng who was with him and fended off the forces starting to close in around him.
That night, he decided that it was time.
After Lan Zhan returned, they entered the next battle. Ever since they left the Unclean Realm, him and Lan Zhan had not had a moment alone to themselves. Whether this was coincidence or on purpose from Lan Zhan's side, Wei Wuxian couldn't be certain. All he knew was that after their semi fight about what to do in case of Wei Wuxian's loss of control, they have not exchanged a word about it.
Well, it looked like Lan Zhan would have to contemplate if he was going to do it right when the moment came.
Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, lifted Chenqing to play and instead of the usual battle music came a different tune.
The fierce corpses stopped in their tracks where they stood.
Then they turned around and started killing each other.
Wei Wuxian only felt it, heard it, but did not see. His eyes were still closed, trusting that Lan Zhan next to him would fend off any stray attacks. It hid the thrumming flow of power he could always feel pulsing through his eyes when he played for the dead. Maybe showing them his own brand of monster on the first try was not the best idea.
"Wei Ying? Are you-" Lan Zhan started to ask, but then he stopped himself. Maybe that was for the best.
The silence followed soon, eerie in its completion.
Chenqing fell quiet then, too, and Wei Wuxian opened his eyes.
Lan Zhan stared at him, eyes wide, face pale, jaw set, and remained silent while the shock spread through the remaining forces, questions of what happened and how being the prominent topic of quiet conversation. There had been scarcely any living soldiers in this battle, so it had been quickly decided.
If Wei Wuxian stumbled slightly when they returned to camp, nobody said anything.
"Was this what you meant?", Lan Zhan was suddenly in his tent, at night, when it was short before his usual bedtime.
"Not quite, but it's the start of it.", Wei Wuxian was on his bed, did not startle when his friend just barged in like that and was slightly proud of himself for just continuing his movement of drawing a few new talismans for the next battle.
"The start? Wei Ying, the battle ended in minutes." it was almost a gasp.
"Yes, it did. We were hard-pressed and a lot of our best cultivators were on the field. I felt like it was time to push back and show Wen Ruohan that he's not the only player on the board." he finished his stroke and set down the ink brush on the table. Lan Zhan kept staring, his fists balled.
"What does it cost you?", he finally asked and Wei Wuxian just smiled. Oh, Lan Zhan. Too smart for his own good sometimes. People often forgot that silence did not mean there was nothing behind. What was that saying? The stiller the water, the deeper the lake.
"I'll be alright. Eventually.", he was vague, and he knew that, but Lan Zhan needed to back off and Wei Wuxian needed to do this. The protest in Lan Zhan was visible in the set of his shoulders, but then he just turned around and stormed out.
Wei Wuxian sighed deeply, but went back to his talismans. Well, he guessed just not talking was still better than fighting.
A few minutes later, Lan Zhan returned. He had Wen Qing with him.
"Oh. I see.", she said, just looking at him for a single second. "Leave us, thank you for getting me, Lan-Er-Gonzi." they bowed to each other, and Lan Zhan left the tent again without another word, his lips tightly pressed together.
“Lan Zhan, you traitor!”, he shouted, but Lan Zhan stayed gone. Wen Qing rolled her eyes and sighed, then stepped right into his space. Damn it. He would have preferred to fight with Lan ZHan rather than having to actually be looked at...Wei Wuxian's eye roll and verbal protest did nothing to distract Wen Qing.
So he pouted, silently brooding, waiting for her to finish. There were needles in his skin, and it was terrible.
"So. You have the last piece of Yin Iron?"
He almost fell off his bed.
"What?!" his voice was embarrassingly high-pitched. How the hell did she-
"I've worked with my uncle after he used it. The effects you're experiencing are...different, but too similar", the explanation was solid, and Wei Wuxian sighed deeply.
"Yes...and no.", he said, wondering how to explain the Stygian Tiger Seal to her without going too much into detail.
"Fine, I don't need to know details. You just need to know that this will kill you if you keep going like this."
"I know."
"Okay." her frown was deep, deeper than he had seen it in a while. "And you're fine with that?"
"Well, not fine. But if it happens, it's a small price to pay for the safety of my family."
There was a small pause in which she searched for something on his face. She seemed to find it, because she nodded, huffing in something that seemed like defeat.
"I see." She tied the bandage around a scrape in his arm far tighter than necessary, but she left him to it soon after.
Nightless City approached quickly after that. Zewu-Jun's spy had given them information that had seemed too good and thorough to be trustworthy. On a hunch, Wei Wuxian told Wen Qing about it one evening, during a break at one of the meetings.
"Mh. It's possible, but it seems more like my uncle would not send them this way. He prefers to keep his strongest corpses close, hidden, so he's immune to surprises. There's underground paths in the city."
Wei Wuxian's grin was so wide it felt like it split his face. He grabbed her shoulders so quickly she startled, but did not pull away either.
"Brilliant. You might have just saved our lives. Thank you!" he yelled the last part while he was already on his way back to the meeting.
There was protest, of course.
"How did you even get this information? Do you have your own spies inside the palace?", Jin Zixun spat at him. "Oh wait, was it your Wen dog friend? The woman?"
"Her name is Wen Qing, and yes. She's worked with Wen Ruohan, I believe her. It makes sense that he would keep his strongest weapons close and hidden. If we run straight in we might be walking into a trap and be closed in from behind." he pointed at the markers on the map and around the palace. These underground tunnels could basically surface anywhere. The room looked at Lan Xichen, who stared for a long second, contemplating.
"I trust my source. But their information could be incomplete. Let's be certain and take precautions either way."
Wei Wuxian had to stop himself from grabbing Lan Xichen's shoulders and dancing him in a circle. But only for a second, because his control and sense returned quickly, and he bowed instead.
"Thank you, Zewu-Jun. I am sure we will not regret it." his gaze lifted and his eyes met Lan Zhan's. His irises shimmered in the color of honey under the candlelight in the tent and no matter the situation, he knew that his cheeks were on fire. He shook the thought creeping inside his head off and kept the small smile to himself, thoughts back to the topic at hand.
War might be hell, but Wei Wuxian had been through hell before.
At least he was not alone this time.
Nightless City had a presence that Wei Wuxian would never forget again. It was hot, the air was dry and all the cultivators gathered around them were tense to the point of snapping.
“Where is everyone?”, asked a Jin disciple next to him. “Shouldn’t there be...people living here?”
“Maybe they were evacuated?”, suggested a Nie from the other side of him. Both of them shrugged as no further guesses were forthcoming.
Indeed, the streets were eerily silent and empty, nobody in sight. They had spotted a few tunnels like Wen Qing had described, not far back, and collapsed it to keep any corpses from exiting. Now they split off into several small groups to find more of them, while the main troop made their way directly to the palace.
While they were quiet, their steps still felt like a noisy horde of horses with the silence surrounding them. Weirdly enough, they reached the courtyard to the palace without being intercepted.
Wei Wuxian swallowed, uneasiness running through his veins with a shiver. This felt an awful lot like the trap they had hoped to avoid.
“Something’s wrong. No way we can just run into the palace like this”, Jiang Cheng hissed beside him and Wei Wuxian agreed with his brother, reinforcing his grip on Chenqing in anticipation.
They smelled the corpses before they saw them.
All around them, from up the stairs and through the doors of the courtyard, hundreds of corpses emerged. Scattered throughout them were horribly deformed creatures, the ghouls, as they had named them, which they had already seen in previous battles. From the sides, from a visibly lifting drawbridge, came an additional force of living Wen soldiers, their robes as red as fire, completely closing them in from all sides.
Wen Qing had been right, and Wei Wuxian was glad that they had followed through with the preparations for this. By sending the small troops away, they would have a concentrated force here while the others could catch the Wen troops off guard in the streets around them as well as from the back. Hopefully, that would give them an advantage.
Seemingly out of nowhere, the archers of the four clans descended with a fierce determination. They had ridden in on their swords after splitting off when they entered the city, positioned themselves on the wall after shooting the soldiers hidden there and then started firing at the masses of fierce corpses.
The other cultivators around him readied themselves for the fight, waiting for the rest of the corpses as well as the living troops to reach them. They waited as long as they could, giving the archers easier targets. Then the first battle cry sounded, and the troops clashed together.
The battle had begun.
He had braced himself for the right moment to interfere, waiting until he had no other choice. Several long minutes that felt like hours, Wei Wuxian just flung out talismans and dodged with Chengqing, hitting and twirling, in tandem with Lan Zhan and Jiang Cheng by his side. Maybe they could do it without the Seal, maybe he didn't need to-
And then there was suddenly red flooding his vision, liquid hitting his face. Red splattered on white robes and Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened, the world stopping to a halt.
"Lan Zhan!" he was screaming, probably, but over the heat of battle nobody even heard him. Lan Zhan had been fighting close to him, a white whirlwind in his periphery. Afterwards, Wei Wuxian could not be sure if Lan Zhan had been shielding him or not, all he knew was that there was now a bleeding wound on Lan Zhan’s shoulder and it was all Wei Wuxian could see.
This battle will cost you.
You can’t protect him, can you? Look how he has to struggle to protect you-
weak, weak weak, let us free, we can help~
"Wei Ying.", Lan Zhan's voice was clipped, but not laced with pain. It cut through his thoughts like the blade that had pierced his shoulder. The wound was shallow, probably already stopping to bleed with his powerful core. But Wei Wuxian was still wide-eyed, frozen, staring at the trickle down his arm. In the middle of the battlefield.
"Concentrate.", Lan Zhan scolded, and shot a blast towards one of the ghouls.
Wei Wuxian's nerves finally settled, and then he was suddenly very calm.
Jaw clenched, his hand flexed around Chenqing.
"Cover me, Lan Zhan. This is over now." one last deep breath, then he lifted the dizi . "No more."
The first notes of his self-made song rang out shrill and ear-piercing. He gathered all the resentful energy he had acquired throughout their battles together in his chest, didn’t stop at the sharp pain that flared through him at that and then sent it out around the battlefield with a jerk. It went like a wave through the fighting crowd. His intent was clear, so clear that the fierce corpses, the horrifying ghouls, those mutilated bodies Wen Ruohan had sent to fight, all came to a sudden, jerking stop.
With one smooth movement, all corpses in the courtyard turned, all towards Wei Wuxian.
Some met their end just for stopping to move, the cultivators still poised for attack, the others tilted their head in an eerily jerky kind of way.
On his flute, Wei Wuxian smiled. He retreated through the crowd, slowly, up the steps of the palace. With Bichen still drawn and ready for defense, Lan Zhan followed him, felling any enemy that approached. Several of the living Wen soldiers seemed to have figured out very quickly that his playing was the source of this weirdness and started to attack him, or rather tried to, because Lan Zhan got rid of them swiftly and efficiently. They came from all sides, upstairs as well as the battle downstairs, but Lan Zhan flew around him elegantly, a whirl of white robes.
“Why up the stairs?”, Lan Zhan asked, while the next soldier fell and tumbled down a few of the jagged steps.
“Better vantage point.”, Wei Wuxian answered between breaths. “Away from the crowd.” another breath “fewer people in danger.” that last comment got him a quizzical side glance from Lan Zhan, but in the end, the second Jade didn’t ask further questions.
As Wei Wuxian played, he gathered even more resentful energy from their surroundings. Lucky for him and sadly for the whole place, Nightless City was chock-full of it. He could hear the dead scream at him, asking for revenge on the tyrant that did this to them, wailing about their horrible fate in the dungeons below or in the city itself, various reasons, silly reasons, petty things but also unimaginable horrors that made his skin crawl with the whisper of them alone. Anger boiled in his chest at the utterance of these atrocities and Wei Wuxian felt the bitterness that they exuded. His jaw tightened, but he kept going.
Slowly, the Tyger Seal floated out of his robes, out of its pouch. It was clearly visible now, stationary beside him in the air, gathering thick clouds of resentful energy that should be visible even to the cultivators not explicitly taught or experienced to see it. The moment Lan Zhan saw it, his eyes widened almost comically, recognition clearly forming in his eyes. Ah, Lan Zhan...this was exactly why he hadn’t told him about the Seal until now. He felt the energy in his eyes pulsating.
Wei Wuxian ignored Lan Zhan's glare.
A quick scan of the battlefield told him that this was still not over yet, as the living Wen soldiers were still fighting, were still high in number, but the corpses withered under the struggle of wills for their control, and finally, after a few dreaded seconds of struggle, Wei Wuxian had the upper hand. It had been easier away from Nightless City, where Wen Ruohan’s control was weak. Here, it had been a tense fight, but not impossible.
While Wen Ruohan had three yin iron shards, Wei Wuxian had two, but his were under much better control. If Wen Ruohan's control was a fist around the corpses' necks, his was a guiding hand, almost gentle, but firm. It was difficult to discern exactly how it felt to wrestle for dominance over the puppets, but he knew the second that it happened that Wen Ruohan must have become very aware of his presence. Lan Zhan and him had reached the top of the stairs now, and Wei Wuxian contemplated to dramatically float into the air while he finally took control of the stronger ghouls completely instead of just freezing them.
He was interrupted in his ministrations by the majestic palace doors sweeping open.
While he did not interrupt his playing, he could still see that it was Wen Ruohan himself, stepping out of the gates. Funny, Wei Wuxian thought. If Wen Qing was to be believed, which she certainly was, Wen Ruohan hadn't left that throne room for anything but sleep in years. Wei Wuxian wrestled control from him for two seconds and here he was, in broad daylight with the sun shining low on both of them as if they weren't in hell and instead on a pleasant conference meeting, just arriving.
"Who's doing this?!" he screamed, then immediately spotted Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan on the top of his steps. He must have recognized the black tendrils of smoke around Wei Wuxian as the source of what was happening and pointed at him. "You!”
Wei Wuxian smiled, turning to him and stopping his playing for a moment. The flow of energy through him did not cease and so the puppets kept fighting for him, against the living Wen soldiers and one another.
“Clan Leader Wen. Nice to meet you.”, he said, tone pleasant. Lan Zhan stood beside him, Bichen drawn and ready.
Wen Ruohan stared at the both of them, eyes narrowed.
“Where did you get your shard of the Yin Iron?!" he demanded. “Was it Xue Yang?”
Oh, so Xue Yang really had the last piece? That was good to know.
Instead of answering Wen Ruohan, however, Wei Wuxian just smiled knowingly, taking a step back from the Clan Leader and letting Lan Zhan step in front of him instead. They moved in tandem without even exchanging a glance, and with Lan Zhan between them as a buffer, Wei Wuxian started the final phase of his plan with a quicker thrill of the flute.
The previously dead from the battlefield rose, as if pulled by invisible strings, and rounded on the living Wen soldiers like men and women starving, seeing their first meal in months. With this it was only a matter of time before the battle was over.
Next to him, Lan Zhan flung himself forward to engage Wen Ruohan personally. Wei Wuxian would have loved to watch that, as both of them were renowned fighters. Even though he did not seem to have brought his sword, Wen Ruohan soon pulled a red blade out of his robes after Lan Zhan’s first attack with Bichen, blocking the strike. Like that, the fight continued at a fast pace while Wei Wuxian kept playing. Lan Zhan even occupied him enough that Wen Ruohan had finally stopped his questioning. Luckily for Wei Wuxian, he also didn’t have time to reach for him or do anything to stop his playing.
The clang of swords stopped after an especially loud one and Wei Wuxian risked a glance over to them. Wen Ruohan’s blade was locked with Bichen, they were both using the sword and its scabbard to block the other’s strike. Wei Wuxian could see Lan Zhan’s arm muscles straining as Wen Ruohan seemed to support his with his own spiritual energy, not wanting to give in.
Mn. No match for the Lan arm strength, huh? , Wei Wuxian huffed a little, trying not to be actually amused in this situation.
In a quick motion, Wen Ruohan now loosened his block with the scabbard, balancing Lan Zhan’s attack with his sword and only one arm now. Stretching his free, left arm back, he reached for something behind him while his sword was in a stalemate with Bichen.
The doors to the palace were still open, and Wei Wuxian could see inside out of the corner of his eyes. He met the eyes of Nie Mingjue for a second, slumped over and wounded, seeming defeated but still awake, now starting to struggle towards them slowly.
Wait, was that...what was his name, Meng Yao? That guy who had presented the Nie sect's gift at Cloud Recess and had escorted them back to the Unclean Realm. Hadn’t he been exiled?
Something floating became visible through the door, and Wei Wuxian's cool gaze widened in horror, his breath into Chenqing stuttering. Nie Mingjue yelled in protest as Baxia was torn from wherever it had previously been. The Nie sect leader flung out his own arm, trying to call it back. It shook in mid-air, struggling between its original master and Wen Ruohan, who was starting to form a sinister smile on his lips. Wei Wuxian could see the moment that Nie Mingjue's control snapped and broke, because Baxia's speed picked up, and it tumbled through the air blade first, if it continued on this path it would barricade right into Lan Zhan-
No.
He was moving before his consciousness had even made the decision. Chenqing was tight in his grasp and he lifted it to block, he did, but Baxia was a wide sword and the momentum was grand, and instead, Chenqing flew out of his hand.
Before he knew it, Lan Zhan was pushed aside and pain erupted in his own chest, so intense he could not see anything but white noise for several seconds.
"Wei Ying!" that was Lan Zhan, he thought, and Wei Wuxian forced himself to open his eyes. Indeed, Baxia was there, it produced from his chest and- oh no, this was bad, probably. He'd never been the best at medicine, but he was pretty sure a sword to the chest of the width of Baxia was not healthy, not in the position this was in.
Somehow, miraculously, his heart was still beating though, and he was somehow still standing.
With a flare of pain, he felt a slight tug at Baxia in his chest from Wen Ruohan's outstretched hand trying to get it back. A grin formed on his own bloody lips -huh when did that get there- and he grabbed the sword handle himself, securing it with some resentful energy of his own.
"Oh thanks. Can I keep it?", his voice was weirdly cool and calculated, he had no idea how, but it sent a chill down even his own spine, and Wen Ruohan indeed froze. In desperation, because he could not go down yet, he called the resentment around him into himself, inducing a kind of stasis so he could keep himself upright. It was a risky move that would definitely not last long, but maybe it would be enough.
"How are you even-" but Wen Ruohan didn't get to speak further, because there was a sword producing from his own chest now, from a stab in the back.
Oh, Meng Yao! Great timing , Wei Wuxian thought.
“Meng...Yao? You dare?!”, Wen Ruohan thundered, but blood was starting to run down his chin. Again, he grabbed for Baxia, trying to pull it free and Wei Wuxian barely managed to suppress his whimper at the jolt of fresh anguish.
Wen Ruohan, fearless tyrant, suddenly screamed, when his arm, still trying to pull out Baxia or push it in further, was brutally but precisely severed from his body. Wei Wuxian blinked, as the blood sprayed into his own face, but then he recognized Bichen, and he looked over at the expression on Lan Zhan’s face, and the fury in his eyes was almost palpable in the surrounding air.
Fondness and something entirely inappropriate for this situation bloomed in Wei Wuxian’s chest at the sight while his mind was otherwise drowned with the memories of the people who died here, in this palace, in this war, flooding his vision with blackness.
Avenge us!
Finish the bastard off!
Let us rest in peace...
It was tempting, but he couldn’t pass out yet, even if the pain was overwhelming. He had to end this. They were so close. Wen Ruohan stumbled back, his own sword clattering to the ground as he cradled his arm, pressing down on the bleeding while the severed limb crashed to the floor uselessly between them.
Meng Yao had drawn back, wisely keeping his distance now that his sword was stuck in Wen Ruohan’s shoulder and the man was apparently still going to fight. A stab to the shoulder was not going to stop him and Wei Wuxian saw how Meng Yao’s mind was racing for another solution. They met eyes for a short second, and Wei Wuxian winked at him, smile on his bloody lips.
This would be over soon.
“You little Lan bastard. You’ll pay for this!”, Wen Ruohan hollowed at Lan Zhan. The blood on his mustache made the whole threat less convincing, but Wei Wuxian still felt his chest contract with panic for Lan Zhan. Maybe that was the sword in his chest though, he couldn’t be sure.
Trying to take in a breath and not cough pathetically, he glanced over to Chenqing on the ground, too far away. Since he couldn’t well lunge for it, he formed his lips to whistle.
Sharp, high notes rang through the air, and the Tyger Seal moved, came home towards him. He steered it to his chest where Baxia resided.
"Who...are you? Where did you even come from?", Wen Ruohan hissed to him now, the puzzle of his power and presence still haunting him.
Wei Wuxian laughed dryly, coldly, at Wen Ruohan's words. Was he truly not aware of the monster he and his son created?
"We, of course, came from hell.", Wei Wuxian answered. "One of your own creation." the last one was almost a whisper, before another whistle started and the black smoke around him began to spread.
The resentful energy surrounded him completely now, crawling across the flow like waves of poisoned water. Following the ground between them, it started to surround Wen Ruohan, too, strapped itself to him like an impressive set of ropes, holding him in place. The tyrant froze, unable to move, and his dark eyes stared at Wei Wuxian, sword still in his chest, seal floating right next to him.
Another familiar musical sound flew through the air, hitting Wen Ruohan with deadly force, keeping him from moving where he had started to bend down to retrieve his sword again.
Of course, his hazy brain told Wei Wuxian, of course Lan Zhan wouldn't stand by, he'd help. Of course .
"Chifeng-Zun", Wei Wuxian heard his own voice call out. Nie Mingjue had struggled further towards them, now only a few steps behind Wen Ruohan. Wei Wuxian didn’t know where his broken lungs got the strength to speak. "Care to do the honors?" he knew it was a bad idea, it was very definitely a bad idea, to pull the blade from his chest, but it would also very definitely finish the job, and it would be Chifeng-Zun, not him or Meng Yao. Maybe that was better. Maybe this was for the better...
“Wei Ying? What are you doing?”, Lan Zhan’s voice was shaking, but Wei Wuxian steeled his jaw to ignore him. This needed to be done. Hopefully, the resentment would hold him together for a little longer, even with the sword out.
Nie Mingjue met his eyes, there was a sliver of hesitation, but then he nodded. It was a conversation that should be had, about how the Nie apparently cultivated resentful energy, somehow, and that their sabers were not the usual cultivation swords. That was the reason Wen Ruohan could wield and command Baxia, the reason his power over the Yin Iron extended to the saber. But Nie Mingjue was still Baxia’s master. With Wen Ruohan weakened, it would listen to him.
“No! Don’t!” Lan Zhan’s protest was for naught. Wei Wuxian could see that he hated not being able to touch Wei Wuxian right now, steady him, support him, step in front of him.
Isn’t that ironic , he thought, thinking back to the time when Lan Zhan had told him that he didn’t touch people.
The next thing Wei Wuxian knew was that his knees gave in because Baxia was sliding out of his chest and finding its way into Nie Mingjue's hand, who was stumbling towards them. Okay good he was still awake...now he just needed to keep the wound closed until this was over...god he was so tired...
Only a second later, Nie Mingjue had stepped forward with a last surge of strength, whirled the blade around expertly and shoved it into the middle Wen Ruohan’s chest.
There was a loud roar, the resentful energy hoarding around Wen Ruohan still. It buried him from the ground up, crawling up with black like smoky hands, drawing him to the ground. Like it wanted to reach up to strangle him, drag him down beneath the earth with the ghost of the people he tortured in life.
Nie Mingjue and Meng Yao both stumbled back, smartly not daring to touch the darkness. Lan Zhan was gripping Bichen tightly, standing as close as he could to Wei Wuxian himself, hovering at the ready to interfere if he could. His shoulders were set in stone, his grip around Bichen was iron. If gazes could murder a person, Wen Ruohan would already be dead on the ground.
Not long now.
Wei Wuxian could see in Wen Ruohan's eyes that he knew that this was it.
"No. You will not- Ugh!" the Tyrant struggled, but managed to lift his left arm towards the palace, and Wei Wuxian felt him calling out. Oh no...
"Step back!" he yelled to the others present, rooted on his knees by the same black arms, but they weren't burning him, only holding him in place, keeping him barely upright.
But he couldn’t go down, not yet. So slowly but surely, he forced himself to his feet, first left, then right, the resentment pushing him upwards.
Around Wen Ruohan, the dark energy swirled, but shuddered in the air as three small pieces of iron flew from the throne room. With his last pieces of strength, the Wen Sect Leader brought them in front of him, and there was a sneer on his face.
Oh no.
"Get down!" another warning left his lips, then Wei Wuxian was moving again, not away but towards the danger.
Just a little farther, just a little longer…
Wen Ruohan was not going down gently, apparently deciding that if he did have to die, he might as well take them with him. He would let the power of the Yin Iron explode, and it would probably kill or severely injure them all. But no, Wei Wuxian would not let that happen. Lan Zhan was way too close, no way was this going to hit him. Wei Wuxian didn't know how he even did it, his chest was filled with nothing but pain, limbs numb and shaking, forehead already beading in sweat.
Nevertheless, his fingers laced around the Tyger Seal and he leaped, practically hurling it into the three Yin Iron pieces.
They connected, and the world exploded, but not like Wen Ruohan had intended.
Darkness surrounded him, voices floating in and out.
Free us!
Destroy him now, this is the chance!
“What is this? Why did it not work!?” This was Wen Ruohan’s voice, but the both of them were suspended in the air and seemingly also in time, as their surroundings had vanished.
“I would have never guessed that you would try to destroy the Yin Iron. How cowardly.”, Wei Wuxian chided.
“If I’m going down, you’re coming with me. You are the cowards for coming at me with so many people at once.”
“Hah! Says the man who ran over three major sects with his numbers. In surprise attacks.”
“Which are you from then? And what’s that thing you have?”
Wei Wuxian sighed. Well. Wen Ruohan was definitely going down and wherever the hell they were, nobody could probably hear them. It didn’t matter, this was over for both of them pretty soon. Might as well.
“My name is Wei Wuxian, First Disciple of the Yunmeng Jiang Sect. And this is my Stygian Tyger Seal.” he smiled, not sure if in the darkness, Wen Ruohan could see.
“Goodbye, Wen Ruohan.”
Wei Wuxian’s only thought, then, his only intent, was of destruction. He touched his own chest, hands coming away bloody and sticky, forming a globe around the seal as well as the Yin Iron. He himself controlled the seal while he felt Wen Ruohan still tried to grapple the Iron.
Another deep, rasping breath, and his intent of destruction folded in on itself. While Wen Ruohan made the Yin Iron explode, he countered the explosion with his Seal’s implosion, pitting one force against the other, trying to balance them out and contain it all in a tight sphere.
His teeth ground in as he improvised a shield with a blood seal from his hands around the metal pieces, resentment against resentment, a powerful struggle that drew on his very last tendons of control.
Finally, all the gathered energy collapsing against each other was spent.
There was still an explosion though, and the tidal wave of the freed power still had him flying backwards, the ground shaking, his head and back hitting the floor in front of the palace hard, probably slithering several meters backwards.
It was over.
Wen Rohan's Body, penetrated by two blades, wrecked by the blunt of the explosion and the resentful energy of the Tyger seal and missing an arm, hit the ground with a heavy thud of finality.
The Sect Leader of the Qishan Wen breathed no longer.
Quiet.
Was it? Or had Wei Wuxian just stopped being able to hear?
The high-pitched ringing was probably not a good sign.
"Wei Ying?" he heard someone say. Lan Zhan... "Stay with me. Please ."
"Lan Zhan...", his voice was so hoarse. Breathing was difficult.
His head felt so empty, no voices beckoning him any longer. It was suddenly...lonely.
"No. Wei Ying-" was that a sob? Was Lan Zhan...crying? Oh, he definitely did not deserve the sense of peace that had just flooded him upon seeing Wen Ruohan defeated if he made Lan Zhan cry.
His eyes struggled open -when had he closed them?- and he looked up from where he was apparently in Lan Zhan's lap? That was a nice thought. He tried to become aware of the sensation of fabric against his back, but all he could feel was pain, so maybe it was for the best to keep it unfocused for now. There was something he needed to say, it was suddenly urgent.
"Lan Zhan. It's okay. It's over now. We did it. The Yin Iron is gone." he felt for something to grasp and then there were fingers closing around his, the grip so strong and the fingers so slender. Familiar.
"You did.", Lan Zhan's voice broke and something touched the back of his hand, something soft. Ah, when had he closed his eyes again?
"Lan Zhan, I have to- I-" the horrible taste of iron clogged his airways and he knew there was blood involved before he could take a struggling breath again. Okay, this sucks, he thought. If this was dying he really thought it would be more glorious ....or something. At least it could give him the grace to be able to say goodbye.
"-ei Wuxian!" that was Jiang Cheng, he was pretty sure. Opening his eyes had become too difficult, but he managed to twitch his mouth a little.
"Be safe." it's what he wanted to say, but he didn't know if anybody heard him. Lan Zhan was okay, Jiang Cheng was okay. That was good. Good.... they would all be fine. For a second he wanted to be selfish, to whisper to Lan Zhan what he had thought sometimes, in quiet moments, a dream of unreachable proportions that did entail a lot of Lan Zhan himself, if he was being honest.
But no...no he couldn’t. First because he physically wasn’t able to and second, because he couldn’t do that to Lan Zhan, not now, not on top of everything. So instead, he let his lip wobble and gripped the hand clasping his tighter, clumsily interlacing their fingers, feeling the slick blood between them, and quietly wished they had had more time.
Wei Wuxian struggled to listen for more, but there were only faraway noises, voices drifting in and out. He thought he was being moved, but he couldn't be sure. The pain and the pressure was all he could think of, but he also vaguely heard someone telling him to stay awake, so he tried, he did! But it was hard to hold on when his only anchor was the hand in his, gripping as if the person's life depended on it.
Lan Zhan... my Lan Zhan. He would have laughed, the thought of Lan Zhan being his in any capacity making him giddy, even as his consciousness drifted in agony. There was a sting in his neck, someone was shouting.
Finally, blissfully, his awareness drifted away from him like water droplets down a lotus leaf.
This time, he welcomed the darkness like an old friend.
Notes:
*sings* ~Hello darkness, my old friend~
(yes this is the third chapter where i make him faint at the end, I'm aware. Listen. I love writing him faint okay) NO he's not dead I promise.So! That turned out a bit different, didn't it? Is this halfway coherent??
A few points i wanna point out:
1. This is kinda a mix of MDZS and the Untamed and I'm aware, sry. With the whole corpses and ghouls thing (and with the Yin iron etc). I hope that's not too confusing x'D
2. Wen Ruohan died way too easily, how could someone that powerful just go down after one sword to the shoulder? Sorry but no. Meng Yao you tried my boi but that's not cutting it. Here it takes two swords, a bit load of resentful energy and the Yin iron exploding in his face lmao.
3. The lake/water metaphor originates from Latin, I'm aware, I just thought it sounded very profound and wanted to keep it x). Same for all the Hell metaphors but those were also in the show (at least in the subs) so I call them fair game.
4. Yes I destroyed the Iron and Tyger Seal because...honestly they just kept making problems (also how can they suddenly be destroyed when the beginning of the show said it wasn't possible? Anyway...) for my planning and I think WWX would destroy it if it meant saving Lan Zhan ;D. There's still one piece left to cause problems tho if the need arises x).
5. Since the question came up: wwx is able to stand upright (or kneel for a bit) after being stabbed because the resentment is keeping him in a state of stasis (until the seal is broken).
Chapter Summary to avoid triggers
- Scene 1: WQ, JC and WWX sit around the campfire talking about the war and if they'll win. WWX says yes, they have to
- Scene 2: WWX uses the Tyger seal in battle for the first time. After, LWJ comes to his tent and brings WQ to treat him. WQ knows about the Tyger Seal
- Scene 3: WWX asks WQ about the architecture of Nightless City, giving the info to the clan leaders. This leads them to change their plans slightly, being prepared for the trap
- Scene 4: Nightless City battle. LWJ is hurt in the shoulder and WWX is shooketh. The two of them go to the top of the stairs to use the Seal to turn the battle. WRH leaves his room because his Wifi (i mean, Yin Iron) stops working, they talk, then WRH fights LWJ and calls Baxia to himself to stab him, but WWX throws himself in its path, getting impaled instead. WRH gets stabbed twice (by NMJ and MY, removing Baxia from WWX) and tries to explode the Yin Iron to kill them all but WWX uses the Seal to destroy both the iron and the Seal itself, the explosion blows him back. LWJ is trying to keep WWX alive, then WWX loses consciousness.How did you like it? What do you think will happen next? ;D LWJ is gonna be SO depressed about this...*rubs hands together*
~~
Next up: JC finding his brother stabbed, getting him treatment, Accidental Marriage Discussions, ... (I haven't written farther yet lmao) probably post-war shenanigans and lots of angst-ing over WWXs condition.
Chapter 14: Hear those Bells ring deep in your Soul
Summary:
JC finding his brother stabbed, WWXs operation, Accidental Marriage Discussions, post-war shenanigans and lots of angst-ing over WWXs condition.
Trigger Warning for vomiting, blood, surgery description, heart failure and its counter measures, death mention
Notes:
Hi! I'm glad that after I cleared up a bit of the confusion, you did like the last chapter :) This was the big turning point, there's one more big change coming up that I'll await your reaction to tho :D That'll be next chapter.
Today, we swim in brotherly angst :)
Someone asked for medical whump; Oh dear are you gonna get a load of THAT lmao. I had the surgery in much more detail than this first and i honestly grossed myself out x'D so I reigned back a bit here.
So...enjoy, folks!! This one's all of 7k words!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Cheng
"Wei Ying!!"
It was Lan Wangji’s guttural screaming that made Jiang Cheng look up.
The battlefield had been intense, not just because it was a battlefield, but also due to so many things that kept happening that weren't, well..., supposed to be possible.
First, the corpses fighting for Wen Ruohan froze, turning around and fighting the living Wen soldiers, and then, in a final act of impossibility, those dead Wen soldiers came back to life and even more living Wen fell to their demise.
Jiang Cheng had heard Wei Wuxian play his flute. He had also seen the black tendrils of energy emitting from him and knew that this was his doing. But he did not follow him and Lan Wangji. It wasn’t really like he’d had a choice, but his heart still clenched at the sight of them leaving. He now knew that this feeling had been foreboding, and he hated to have been right.
Now, looking up to the palace for a short glance to see why Lan Wangji of all people was screaming, he saw something that made his heart stop.
Wei Wuxian, run through with a sword by Wen Ruohan.
Jiang Cheng was shouting something, he knew he was, but he could not go and see what actually happened, could not help, because he was suddenly attacked by one of the freshly risen corpses. Indeed, several of them seemed to have started to run rampant, out of control. It was several minutes before he could even think about looking up the stairs again and that was only because just as suddenly as the dead had begun to rise, they dropped to the ground and stopped moving.
At the same time, the earth shook below them violently, and a wave of energy made all of them list to the side as it hit.
It had originated from up at the palace.
Quiet filled the space between the courtyard walls for a few seconds, as the remaining cultivators stood there, stunned, between the bodies of the people they had killed or that had killed each other.
Breathing heavily, Jiang Cheng looked around himself and tried not to let the bile threatening to rise up his throat spill out. The stench permeating his nose was horrible and there was so much blood and gore and...death, that he was glad for the flimsy, steely armor of anger he had managed to establish around himself over the last months to mask his actual emotions of anguish.
"Wei Wuxian.", he whispered, whirling around. Why did he have the feeling that this explosion had something to do with him? The puppets he had summoned had just dropped dead...again. What did that mean?
A different kind of panic rose in his stomach, that of fear for his brother.
The battle was over, one way or another. He saw the others around him realizing, saw them starting to round on the rest of the Wens, saw them starting to look around the bodies if there was anybody just heavily wounded but still alive.
He needed to know if his brother was safe; it became so urgent that he felt it like a physical vice around his throat. So he ordered the nearest disciple to take care of the wounded and signal the healers to come to the battlefield, then he was off.
He didn't bother to climb the stairs, instead jumping on his sword, deeming it faster and more dignified than probably crashing on those jagged steps with his legs still a short way from shaking.
The sight that greeted him was putting his determination not to throw up to a harsh test.
Not far from the open palace doors, Wen Ruohan lay dead on the floor. Jiang Cheng was pretty sure he was dead, because Baxia and another sword were sticking out of his chest and there was a puddle of blood on the ground around him so big that he couldn’t still be breathing. Not far off towards the palace were Nie Mingjue and another guy that seemed vaguely familiar, but Jiang Cheng couldn't quite place the name of.
His eyes wandered over this only briefly though, because what really drew his gaze was the shape of Wei Wuxian, limply lying on the harsh tile flooring with his own blood pool starting to form around him.
Next to him, Lan Wangji had drawn him into his lap, obviously trying to press on the wound to stop the bleeding. The Lan was talking, Jiang Cheng could see his lips move, but he had no idea what he was saying, because his eyes couldn't move from Wei Wuxian.
Pale, bleeding, limp.
Dead?
No.
Jiang Cheng's jaw set and his shaking hands balled into a fist, stabilizing. No, his brother was not going to die here. He was not losing another family member to the Wens. He wasn't!
"Wei Wuxian!", he yelled instead, knowing that he was disturbing the sudden silence of shock after whatever this had been, but not caring about the flinches this caused. He forced his legs to obey him and rushed forward, leaning on the other side of his brother.
"Be safe." he heard Wei Wuxian's voice, barely a whisper, and Jiang Cheng’s knees connected to the ground next to him at the same time that Wei Wuxian's remaining consciousness seemed to leave him and his head lolled to the side.
No....nononononono.
"Wei Ying", Lan Wangji sobbed. Yes, sobbed. Jiang Cheng looked up at him and for just a second, marveled at the myriad of emotions displayed there. It was, of course, fucking sad and tragic that the emotions that made the mask finally slip were utter horror and grief, but...well.
Jiang Cheng's own lip was trembling, but he forced himself to stay calm and reached for Wei Wuxian's wrist to feel his pulse. He tried not to think of how this situation was so similar to the last time his brother had collapsed with him present.
A pulse. T-there was a pulse.
"We need to get him to Wen Qing.", he said out loud immediately. Yes, Wen Qing would know what to do. She had practically brought Jiang Cheng himself back from the dead once, he was very confident in her abilities. Or her in general.
No reaction from Lan Wangji was forthcoming.
"Lan Wangji.", Jiang Cheng hissed and glowered at him. Again, no reaction, Lan Wangji was still staring, seemingly through Wei Wuxian, tears tracking down his face and his hand gripping Wei Wuxian's in a vice grip, their fingers entwined.
"Hanguang-Jun!!" Jiang Cheng leaned forward to touch the man's shoulder, and this seemed to finally rile him out of it. Seriously, if Wei Wuxian died because Lan Wangji was already buried in his grief, he would never forgive him.
Flinching away from the touch, Lan Wangji seemed to register his presence for the first time.
"Jiang Wanyin. He-" Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes and interrupted him. Whatever this was going to be, it could wait.
"Yes, it's me. He's still alive, we need to get him to a healer. To Wen Qing. Give him to me, I don't think you should fl-"
Instead of letting go of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji did the same move as last time and stood with little difficulty, clinging Wei Wuxian's body to himself as a way to help keep the wounds closed, his body pressed to Wei Wuxian’s front while the other held the exit would in the back. It wasn't helping Lan Wangji's already very bloody white robes any.
"Okay. Well, I'll be right behind you."
A nod, then Lan Wangji was already on his sword, which he elegantly let out of its scabbard by itself.
That was when Nie Mingjue decided to speak up. The guy looked worse for wear, so Jiang Cheng was impressed he could even open his mouth.
"Hope he makes it. Pretty sure he saved all our lives today. Destroying the Yin Iron...", there was something like begrudged admiration in his voice and Jiang Cheng frowned, eyes wide for a second from the shock, but then he nodded, drawing Sandu to follow Lan Wangji. It was bad enough he had hesitated this much already.
"Jiang Wanyin! Mingjue! A-Yao!" that was Lan Xichen, hurrying up the stairs. He looked exhausted, there was blood on his robes as well, but it didn't seem to be his, mostly. The sect leader's gaze flew after his own brother, probably seeing him carry Wei Wuxian off and drawing his own conclusions from the remaining pool of blood on the floor. Jiang Cheng itched to follow them, but Lan Xichen’s address interrupted him.
“Was that Wangji?”, he asked and Jiang Cheng nodded.
“Yes, he’s getting Wei Wuxian to a healer. I-” his jaw slammed shut, muscles aching to follow, but Lan Xichen squeezed his shoulder before passing him, and he paused for a second.
The reality that he was a sect leader and that he probably could not afford to stay at his brother’s bedside until he recovered hit him in the side like one of the fierce corpses in battle. This was the end of a war, their enemy defeated at their feet. They had to sort out what to do next.
His fists clenched at the prospect of having to leave Wei Wuxian to Lan Wangji, but he tried to reassure himself that Wen Qing would do her best, and that was the most you could get in all the existing cultivation clans. Still...
A deep breath later, he forced his eyes to focus on the pair of sect leaders kneeling in front of each other now and bowed slightly.
"Sect Leader Nie, Sect Leader Lan. We have started to gather the remaining Wen Cultivators and extended a search for the remaining wounded. For now, our focus should probably be to gather everyone and properly bury the bodies." he tried to keep his voice level, not alluding to the fact that he was still shaken by the image of himself standing in a circle of innumerable dead bodies. "Has the palace itself been cleared? Should I send some uninjured to assist?" There was a short pause, but Lan Xichen looked at him while he spoke, acknowledging his presence with a small nod and looking up from having assessed Nie Mingjue's wounds. Nie Mingjue himself had -disturbingly enough- decided to rest his head on Lan Xichen's shoulder.
"There are a few soldiers still inside", the Nie Sect Leader spoke, just loud enough for Jiang Cheng to hear, too. There was a short glare to the other guy -A-Yao, Lan Xichen had called him?- a few steps over that Jiang Cheng didn't quite get. "I think reinforcements would probably be smart.”
"Mingjue you're not clearing the palace, you're going to the healers", Lan Xichen huffed at the suggestion. It was true, Nie Mingjue should probably not go anywhere soon. Lan Xichen turned back to Jiang Cheng.
"I will oversee the palace clearance, thank you. I know you want to go make sure your brother is alright."
"Thank you. I will arrange for it." he tried not to show the truth of his desire to let it all fall away and make sure Wei Wuxian did indeed arrive with Wen Qing.
Yes, he would be fine. Definitely. Probably. Hopefully.
Maybe.
Jiang Cheng swallowed, his lips thinning at the next thought in his mind. "I should probably also send for someone to fetch Sect Leader Jin. We have to assess the damages and next steps."
Another short pause in which Lan Xichen closed his eyes for a short second. Another glance at the other guy, this time from Lan Xichen.
"Sect Leader Jin is dead.", he said, quietly but with a stable voice.
"What?!" comes from all three other men present. "Father is-" the kind of familiar man interrupted himself, but it was too late, Jiang Cheng was finally able to place him.
Ah, a Jin bastard. Wait, he'd seen him in the ...Unclean Realm? Right? No, this was not important right now.
"W-well, what about Jin Zixuan?", he instead asked, swallowing nervously. If Jin Zixuan was also dead...well, not that he himself cared that much, but seeing Wei Wuxian in this state and then losing the man she was kind of in love with would not...go down well with A-Jie. And didn't Jiang Cheng always want what was best for his sister? Yes, yes he did.
"Yes, I saw him down the stairs somewhere."
"Okay. I will go to him and send reinforcements up. Sect Leaders. Meng Yao." he was a little proud when he actually remembered the guy's name from a short flash of memory. They had been with Xue Yang, right? And that guy had been babysitting Nie Huaisang. He bowed to the three of them, then turned and jumped on Sandu, trying not to glance at the bloody puddle on the floor again.
Down on the former battlefield, he indeed spotted Jin Zixuan. The Jin Sect...well, now he guessed leader??- was talking to some of his own cultivators while some of the Jiang ones were nearby. Perfect, all in one stroke.
Sandu sheathed itself effortlessly and his cultivators bowed to him. He himself nodded at them and then bowed to Jin Zixuan.
"Jin Zixuan. I just heard. I am deeply sorry for your loss." Jin Zixuan's lips were thin, and he was pale, but otherwise, he held himself together quite fine. If Jiang Cheng thought about his own father's death, his pure desperation, his fingers suddenly around Wei Wuxian's throat...but then again maybe this was something one couldn't compare. He shuddered to shake off the morbid thoughts.
"Thank you, Sect Leader Jiang." he gave a short sigh. Jiang Cheng decided he better get down to what he came here for.
"Nie Mingjue survived but he's injured. We need healers and reinforcements at the palace to take on the rest of the Wen inside. You" he pointed to one of his own cultivators, "gather 20 people and follow Lan Xichen's lead." then he turned back to Jin Zixuan. "We should have a clan leader meeting as soon as Sect Leader Nie is cared for. Let us meet up this evening halfway between Xūshí and Hàishí , so we still have time before that ridiculous bedtime the Lan keep. We meet wherever Sect Leader Nie is resting, so he doesn't feel the need to walk around."
"That bad, huh?", Jin Zixuan asked and tried to keep the semi-amused smirk off his face. Jiang Cheng however could only think of the pool of his brother's blood and frowned deeply into the middle distance. Apparently, Jin Zixuan was smarter than Jiang Cheng gave him credit for, because he quickly sobered, and his gaze flew up the stairs. "Say, that explosion...?" he hesitated, eyebrows raised. Jiang Cheng closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Neutral voice, neutral. Just don't let it show, it's fine, he will be fine...
"That was Wei Wuxian destroying the Yin Iron. He was...stabbed-" fuck. Failed that then. "Lan Wangji is bringing him to Wen Qing.", he finished, chest hollow. He refused to meet Jin Zixuan's eyes, who stiffened, but then told him his own condolences. He didn't need any damn condolences, Wei Wuxian would be okay!
"I have to go.", he said into the sudden silence between them. Turning back to his own cultivators, he told them to take care of the bodies and prisoners and then to go rest and take care of their own wounds if they could and let the healers work on the severe cases only, at least until morning. They all bowed, and then he was off again.
Luck had it that the sight of Lan Wangji flying over their heads with Wei Wuxian in his arms was an unusual and stunning enough sight that he could easily ask around to find out where they went. That was how he followed his final clue to the town square of the city, where apparently the villas had been cleared -if there were even any people in it- and were now used to treat the most severe cases and house the main sect families.
Before he could knock, however, a body flung itself at him. Flashes of the battle he just fought, of the constant press of ghouls and soldiers flung his instincts to reaching for his sword-
"A-Cheng! You're okay!" that was definitely A-Jie and Jiang Cheng relaxed from where his nerves had been strung for defense. She hugged him to herself fiercely, and he thought it would only last a few seconds, but it did not, and the longer it took, the deeper his shoulders dropped and the heavier he felt the tremble in his lips get. No. No, it was fine.
"A-Jie..." he whispered instead, almost out of instinct, and buried his face in her shoulder. "A-Jie I'm sorry..."
"What? Why are you sorry, A-Cheng?" she drew back and the small smile on her face was wavering dangerously as she cupped his face in her hand. God, he was so short before crumbling....but no, not yet, he couldn't.
"Wei Wuxian, he-" again, his voice gave out, and he didn't even have to look to see his sister's uncertain face transform into a look of horror. "Wen Ruohan stabbed him, I couldn't go with him, I-" he bit his lip, hard, and was almost satisfied to taste blood. "Lan Wangji brought him to Wen Qing. He was still alive when they left, but..." his voice dared to hiccup, and he slammed a hand over his treacherous mouth. "It was bad, A-Jie." he couldn't get himself to actually describe it to her but couldn't get the image of Wei Wuxian going limp with a hole in his chest and blood dripping from his lips out of his head, either.
A-Jie's hands were shaking violently when they found her own mouth, probably to keep her from crying out in agony. That her knees would go weak was easily predicted by Jiang Cheng, and he quickly gathered her in his arms again, squeezing tighter than before, and her silent tears turned into sobs. Some of the healers who had probably arrived with her looked their way, but none approached. They were with their own patients, some limping, some on stretchers. Misery like this was not uncommon today.
"A-Xian...no..how?", A-Jie asked, when she found her voice again after a few minutes. Jiang Cheng swallowed thickly, blinking and pretending as if his own eyes were still a normal amount of wet.
"Nie Mingjue said he saved all our lives and destroyed the Yin Iron? I don't...I don't really know much more. Lan Wangji probably knows, he was there." For some gods awful reason, A-Jie smiled at that.
"Of course he was." Jiang Cheng side-eyed her, but let it slide.
"They're supposed to be in here. I'm going to knock."
So he did.
The answering silence was way too long, spent with A-Jie nervously taking his hand and clinging onto it for dear life. It was absurd to think of her hand as feeling small in his, when to him, she was always the biggest presence in the room.
Finally, the door slid open, and it was Lan Wangji who greeted them. He looked tired and worn, not even hiding the tear tracks on his face. Most appalling, however, was the stark amount of dark red, slowly turning brown, on his white robes. His whole front was covered in it, as were the lower parts of his arms. His hands had been scrubbed clean, but still glared red from the irritation to the skin, as if he'd rubbed at them in hurried frustration.
At the sight of them, those hands flexed into fists and his jaw tightened. Jiang Cheng could hear A-Jie next to him exhale as if the air was punched out of her.
"Jiang Wanyin, Jiang Yanli.", Lan Wangji spoke as if nothing was wrong, but at the same time, as if everything was.
"Is he-" Jaing Cheng started.
"in surgery.", Lan Wangji interrupted him. That was already unusual, and for a second, he seemed to have realized this, because his brows furrowed. But he gave no apology, instead just carefully drawing his face into a blank slate again. "Wen Qing is with him. She told me to-"
"Is that Jiang Wanyin?", came a voice from inside.
"Yes", Jiang Cheng answered, not sure how loud to make his voice or how much he could even manage.
"Let him in. I need his core over here.", Wen Qing's voice sounded. Another frown came to Lan Wangji's face, but he reluctantly opened the door further and let him in. A-Jie followed and both of them rounded the privacy screen separating the entrance from the main room.
The sight that greeted them made them both freeze.
Wei Wuxian lay horizontally on a low, flat surface, probably previously used as a big table or even two, pushed together. Below him had been a clean white sheet. Had been because it wasn't so clean anymore, several places tainted red already. Next to Wei Wuxian's head stood a basin of water and next to that, facing them, kneeled Wen Qing, feverishly concentrating on her work and not looking up. There were several tools spread on the sheet next to her as well.
"Give him your energy and make it wander as far to his lower dantian as you can... Slow and steady, small stream.", she demanded without looking up at him. Jiang Cheng was grateful for that somehow, because he thought his face probably mirrored how he was about to throw up and barely managed to get himself together.
Wen Qing's hands were working on the wound, her fingers nimbly moving around needles that he had never seen in action but knew had held him open once, too. The thought was disturbing enough, but it did not top the sight of Wei Wuxian's open chest with Wen Qing's hands drenched to her elbows in his brother's blood, her fingers inside him-
Jiang Cheng was a little ashamed to say he promptly emptied his stomach in a nearby vase.
It was just...too much. He had already felt nauseated on the battlefield, this was just overflowing his capabilities. Everything in him wanted to curl up and hide, cry himself to sleep and wake up to his brother awake and alive.
"Shhhh. It's okay, A-Cheng. This is very normal." A-Jie was suddenly there, rubbing his back. How did she do that? Just now she had been just as shaken.
"Yanli can you refill the water, please?", Wen Qing asked, and she gave no indication of being surprised at his reaction. The thing that made him move was Lan Wangji's gaze, however. It wasn't exactly judgmental, but certainly...something that made his skin crawl. So he joined his sister at the bigger basin, swallowed a bit of water in his mouth to flush out the aftertaste and then sat down on Wei Wuxian's other side, thankfully turning his back towards Lan Wangji.
With a deep breath, he took his brother's bloodied hand, closed his eyes and started the transfer.
Time flew by a bit after that. To keep from throwing up again or breaking down into a panic or tears, Jiang Cheng kept his eyes closed and concentrated on his assigned task. He heard the sounds of Wen Qing working with A-Jie assisting, felt the slight shifts of his brother's body sometimes, but he himself just kept the stream of energy going.
"Yes good. Spread it as much around his system as you can. Burn as much of the resentment as you are able.", Wen Qing instructed, her voice calm and calculated. This and Wei Wuxian's flimsy but ever present pulse under his fingertips guided Jiang Cheng through the next minutes that could as well have been hours. He spread his energy throughout his brother's meridians, amazed at how much it reacted even though he had no core anymore.
"Good to know my theory is solid, then.", Wen Qing said, after several minutes of silence. "Lan Wangji. How are you, can you still provide some spiritual energy?",
"Yes.", came the immediate answer. A rustle of fabric sounded next to him, and he felt something tug at Wei Wuxian's hand, maybe to take his wrist from him. But Wen Qing protested.
"No. No, that won't work, don't you remember? It works better for Jiang Wanyin because it used to be his core. Please try to give Jiang Wanyin energy, so he can transfer it over. I know it seems silly, but if it works, it would be a great help." there was a short pause, but then someone was carefully, gently, taking Jiang Cheng’s other wrist, and a steady stream of energy flew into himself from there. Jiang Cheng tried to not think how weird that all was.
Again, silence permeated the space around them.
Hope had started to bloom inside him at the quiet workings of Wen Qing, believing this to be a good sign. Those hopes were crushed very soon.
"Shit.", Wen Qing’s hiss cut through him just as much as when he suddenly felt a stutter of the steady rhythm under his fingers and then-
Nothing.
"No!" that was definitely his voice, wasn't it? His eyes ripped open and he was greeted by Wen Qing leaning over her brother, both hands over the center of his chest, pressing down with such force that he thought he heard something snap. His own heart was in his throat, keeping him from being able to speak and freezing his own limbs in space.
"Don't stop!" Wen Qing barked at him, teeth clenched tightly. It only took two rapid blinks for him to jump back to his task, continuing the stream of energy. If he increased it out of desperation, nobody could really fault him for that, right?
She haltered, but only for a second, as she then leaned down and held Wei Wuxian's nose, her mouth closing over his, and then she breathed into him.
Next to him, Lan Wangji sounded like he was choking for a second, and Jiang Cheng could feel himself flash from cold to hot and back again. But as soon as she had done that twice, she was back to pressing down on Wei Wuxian's chest, giving no indication of having done anything unusual.
Jiang Cheng tried to strangle the irrational thought of possessiveness from his mind at the sight and instead concentrated back on the steady stream of energy.
Lan Wangji's grip on his wrist had begun to become painful, but he was also shaking, so Jiang Cheng did not say anything. He also did not look at A-Jie and how she had taken Wei Wuxian's other hand, her own breaths hitching and her features drowned in agony.
He had never felt so on edge, like he balanced over a cliff-side and every movement of air could mean either safety or death.
A flutter under his fingertips made him gasp, and he finally dared to look up again.
Wen Qing was drenched in sweat but had stopped her brutal ministrations, instead now withdrawing and keeping a hand on Wei Wuxian's shoulder, catching her own breath for a second. It wasn't long, but the pure relief was tangible in the air as Wei Wuxian finally took in another shallow, rattling breath.
"Thank the stars.", Wen Qing whispered. Jiang Cheng wanted to ask a status, but at the same time, he did not. So instead, he kept to his steady stream again until Wen Qing finally sat back. It felt like hours later, maybe it even was, judging by the low light streaming in through the windows.
"This is as much as I can do for him for now", she said.
"Okay..." that was A-Jie, her hands tightly held one another, her lips pressed together.
"What does that mean? That he's going to be fine?", Jiang Cheng found himself asking.
"No. I don't know that yet. He was stabbed in the lung, it's lucky you brought him so fast, I don't know how much I could have done had it been a minute or two later. Believe me when I say that he's the luckiest bastard wandering around out there to even be alive at all right now."
Jiang Cheng swallowed. So his hunch about getting Lan Wangji here as fast as possible had been right. He did not want to imagine what would have happened had he not snapped the guy out of his depressive stare.
"What can we do?" Lan Wangji asked, then. He looked even more shaken than before, Jiang Wanyin realized, now finally turning his head in his direction again. Honestly, he looked like he was about to faint.
"I don't..." Wen Qing blinked. "We can only wait now. I think you can stop the energy for now.", she said to Jiang Cheng. He hesitated, but finally complied, letting go of Wei Wuxian's wrist. Honestly, he was starting to feel the drain. He couldn’t believe this morning his biggest concern had been if they would win the war. Now it was won, but there was no desire for celebration in sight.
"What time is it?", he asked into the room, not really caring that much.
"About halfway between Xūshí and Hàishí .", A-Jie said, her voice not more than a whisper. She looked similar to Lan Wangji, worn out and dim, like a fire late into the night, burned out and defeated.
"Oh no." Jiang Cheng suddenly stood, startling all of them present. "I promised the other sect leaders I would meet with them." a war of emotions erupted in his chest. His brother's heart had just given out, and he did not want to leave this room right now. What was going to happen if he did? If the core inside him was the only one that could help, what if he was gone and Wei Wuxian went under again?
"Go. That's important, too. This is the end of a war, after all.", Wen Qing said. Her lips were thin and Jiang Cheng closed his eyes for a second to regain his composure. Then he gave a nod and turned around back to the door he came in through.
So that was how he found himself in the room that Nie Mingjue was staying in. The three other sects were already gathered, and Meng Yao was there as well. It was no real surprise, honestly. He mused that, were circumstances different, he would have brought Wei Wuxian as well. And maybe Lan Wangji would have also been here.
But circumstances were not different, so they were not.
The meeting went alright, Jiang Cheng finally found out what happened, at least from Nie Mingjue's and Meng Yao's accounts, and tried not to think of his brother's heart dying under his fingers mere minutes ago. He wondered how he looked and that was when he noticed the smudges of blood on his knees from where he had kneeled next to Wei Wuxian.
He tried not to break down into tears for the tenth time that day.
After a while, the Jin filed out of the room. They had funeral rites to attend to and since Meng Yao would be Jin Ziyao now, or, well, at some point in the next few days, Jin Zixuan had already started to file him into the planning process.
"He's probably more capable than Zixun.", Zixuan said, and he did not hide his amused smirk at all of them trying not to nod enthusiastically. It wasn't hard to be more capable than that prick, honestly. It was a wonder he hadn't died in the battle, as well. Maybe the rumors that he had delivered Jin Guangshan to his death were true. That would be ironic enough to almost be funny.
Finally, somehow, Jiang Cheng was outside again. It had been weird to be confronted with the four of them, accomplished warriors, sect leaders, making plans when Jiang Cheng himself felt like his own world had been reduced to a single point.
"Jiang Wanyin?", asked a voice behind him. He looked up and found Lan Xichen. The two Lan brothers were a few of the only people who actually called him by his courtesy name. He didn't know why, but it had never stuck as much as 'Jiang Cheng' had. "Care to join me for a cup of tea?", he asked, voice serene as always. Well, not quite. He also seemed shaken, but compared to how shattered Jiang Cheng's resolve was looking, he was positively radiant.
He nodded numbly, agreeing, not really knowing why.
So it wasn't long before he was in yet another room, kneeling on his bloody robes and trying not to think about how offensive that probably was.
"Wangji is with your family?", Lan Xichen asked into the silence. Jiang Cheng clung to his tea cup, looking at the liquid moving back and forth, and tried to not be reminded of the color of the water Wen Qing cleaned her hands in.
"Yes.", he answered. "He hasn't left Wei Wuxian's side since the battle." it was a neutral statement, but Lan Xichen somehow smiled from it. Jiang Cheng would have frowned, normally, but right now he felt like his sister had looked. He didn't know if sleep would help.
"I hope he can be healed. From what I've heard, he saved many lives today."
"Yes. He did. Ever the hero."
"You're not...happy about that?"
"No of course, I just..." he tried not to let too much bubble to the surface. "I wish he wouldn't disregard his own safety for others constantly." he closed his eyes. Meng Yao had said that Wei Wuxian had shoved Lan Wangji aside in order to keep him from being hit by Baxia. Lan Wangji's demeanor earlier made way more sense now.
"I see. Well, I'm sure the healers will do their best."
"Yes, she is.", Jiang Cheng couldn't keep the pride out of his voice. "Wen Qing is treating him. I don't know who else I would even dare to entrust with that." he hesitated. "She saved his heart from giving out just before I left for the meeting." he knew his voice was small, and his words were of no consequence to Lan Xichen. What could he even say to that? But the sudden urgency to bear his worries to someone outside of the sorrowful circle in that room was strong, almost burning.
Lan Xichen was silent, but not uncomfortably, then he breathed deeply before answering.
"I am sorry, Jiang Wanyin. Believe me when I say I deeply wish for his recovery as well."
"Oh? Because he's the hero of the campaign?", he didn't know if he wanted to laugh or cry. He settled for a sarcastic huff. Lan Xichen however, shook his head.
"No. Because I fear I would lose my brother as well, should Wei Wuxian leave this world." maybe he wanted to lighten the mood, because the next sentence was what felt like a slap to Jiang Cheng's face. "I would also rather spend meetings of the two of us speaking of marriage dowries than of our brother's demise."
He blinked. Then blinked again.
"What?" he asked. "Marriage?"
His mind immediately flew to A-Jie and her dropped engagement. Was that back on the table? No, surely Jin Zixuan didn't think that, right? Then who-
"Oh, I apologize. I thought you were aware. Never mind, then.", he politely smiled and obviously prepared to change the topic, but Jiang Cheng needed to know.
"No. Whose marriage?"
"My brother's and your brother’s.", Lan Xichen said, pausing to take a sip of his tea as if letting that sink in first.
"W-Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji?", he felt himself frowning, knew that he probably looked more like his mother than he usually did, with his jaw tight and Zidian absently sparking at his wrist. He wanted to yell, to accuse Lan Xichen of inappropriate and baseless comments, but then he made himself pause. Hadn’t he thought something similar, not that long ago?
His mind jumped back in time. Wei Wuxian at Cloud Recess, practically glued to Lan Wangji's side. In turn, Lan Wangji searching tirelessly for him, Lan Wangji turning away from the security of the hole in the cave wall to go back and help Wei Wuxian. Then there was the way they had kept looking at each other after being reunited, especially in the Unclean Realm. The gentleness with which Lan Wangji held Wei Wuxian's cheek, telling him to be more careful, the devastation when he had found the two of them up those stairs, their bloody fingers entwined-
"Fuck." Jiang Cheng finally whispered. "They're in fucking love, aren't they." he huffed out his frustration, burying his head in his hands. "Fucking idiots.", he groaned.
To his further shock, as if his evening wasn't already weird enough, Lan Xichen had the gull to chuckle .
"Well, there are people who say love makes one a fool indeed." he still sounded way too amused. Wei Wuxian's heart had given out not even an hour ago and here he was talking about marriage. The bile from earlier was back, and he felt his face sour further. At least at that, Lan Xichen's amusement finally flickered out.
"Well, I wanted to pick your brain on what we should do with the remaining Wen Cultivators, but I suppose it can wait. Can you give these to Wangji? I assume I won't see him for a while yet unless I visit myself." he reached behind him and placed a pair of fresh white robes in front of Jiang Cheng. He was about to comment that they looked like mourning robes, when he spotted the fine blue pattern of clouds on it. He nodded.
"I will." he drew his hand over his face and fixed his posture. "I apologize for the...outburst, Zewu-Jun. Let us converse about that tomorrow.”. But Lan Xichen just smiled again, waiving his worries away.
“No apology needed. I admit that I am rather impressed with how you seem to handle all this. Just...know that we’re all in the same boat. Jin Zixuan is not much older than you, is he not? Inheriting an entire clan without warning is a difficult thing.” he sighed. Right, he was speaking from experience there, too, wasn’t he? His father had died not long before the Sunshot Campaign started. “Just know that Mingjue and I are here to offer any help we can. Maybe…” he frowned. “ Maybe keeping to ourselves is not the best solution. Maybe the clans should work together more closely, so something like this doesn’t happen again.”
Both of them were silent at that for a few moments, staring into the middle distance. For his part, Jiang Cheng was thinking about his parents and how his mother especially had always said to not put his nose in other’s business. Then again, how far had that gotten them? Would he even be here right now if it weren’t for their working together in all this?
Gods above he was tired. This was too high a thought process for today.
“Maybe. Though we shall discuss this at a later time, as well, if that is alright. I would like to turn in for tonight.” Lan Xichen smiled, not commenting on the fact that it was before even his own bedtime. They bowed to each other at the door and Jiang Cheng made his way back through Nightless City.
Back in their quarters, Wei Wuxian was sleeping. There had apparently been no further improvements or turns for the worse. His wound was now stitched and bound, his breathing seemed relatively normal. He was wearing a pair of his red under robes and had been moved to the bed in the corner, clean sheets under and over him.
Lan Wangji was sitting next to the bed, holding Wei Wuxian's wrist and hand in both of his.
Jiang Cheng had to take a deep breath to not shove him away and yell at him to piss off.
It wasn't Lan Wangji's fault, he told himself. Wei Wuxian was just like that. He tore out pieces of himself and gave it to others without asking first. Lan Wangji was just another in the line of people for a piece, he guessed. Still, Lan Xichen’s words left a bitter taste in his mouth and the urge to tell Lan Wangji that his brother wasn’t something Lan Wangji could just have was stronger than was probably reasonable.
"Here. Your brother gave me these for you.", he held the neatly folded pile out in front of him, so it would disrupt the stare he held towards Wei Wuxian's face. It took him a second, but finally, Lan Wangji blinked at it, starting to process. Staring at the clothes first, then down at himself, he closed his eyes, a small frown appearing between his brows that looked almost pained. Then he sighed and took the clothes between his own hands.
"Thank you.", his tone was quiet but sure.
"I'll take watch.", Jiang Cheng said. "Go clean that shit up." there wasn't even a comment on the curse word, so Lan Wangji really had to be beat. He got up and disappeared back into the space further into the house, presumably using one of the rooms. Dutifully, Jiang Cheng sat down instead, taking the wrist Lan Wangji had so carefully set down and pressed his fingers to the pulse point there.
He must have somehow managed to fall asleep like that, because he woke with a slight jolt, the wrist slack in his hands and Lan Wangji, newly dressed and apparently bathed, leaning on the wall next to the bed. His head had lolled backwards and his arms were crossed. He seemed to have given into sleep as well.
With a sudden frantic panic, Jiang Cheng gripped for his brother's wrist again, noting how pale Wei Wuxian looked compared to the red he wore and the white sheets below him.
There, the pulse. Okay.
"Please, Lady Wen. Tell me honestly."
"I told you that ‘Wen Qing’ is alright."
"Wen Qing. Mincing words won't improve anything."
A-Jie and Wen Qing were apparently in the open kitchen where there was still a candle burning. Their voices were quiet enough that they would not rouse Jiang Cheng or Lan Wangji, so they probably thought both of them were still asleep.
"Alright.", Wen Qing finally gave in. "I stabilized him enough that he's not in immediate danger. But that doesn't mean much right now. The leftover resentment in his body is making the healing process difficult and as a mere mortal, he..." the noise of a sniff disturbed the silence. "It's a miracle I was able to bring him back like that, I've never had to use that theory. I'm glad it worked, but I have no idea if it will even help. If there's an infection...and with a resentful blade it's not that unlikely..." another sigh.
"Honestly, I don't know if, without a golden core, he even can survive."
A-Jie's response was drowned out by the rush in Jiang Cheng's ears. He knew that his breathing became hard and fast, his eyes blinking until they finally welled over and the dam he had tried to hold in all day broke.
Shaking, his hand lifted to his lower dantian, where Wei Wuxian's golden core resided, keeping him alive and well, making his wounds heal in record speed. His hand squeezed the fabric as if he could just draw it out and grab it, shove it back into its owner and end all this misery.
A sob tore from his throat, then another. He quieted himself with his hand over his mouth, but didn't know how effective it was.
Foolish, he cursed himself. I'm such an idiot. Remember when I thought this could all turn out well? Remember when we found you and were positive that keeping us three together was the key?
Another breath through his teeth, his lips were shaking, and the tears made small sounds where they hit the wood below where he had keened over. His hand was still around Wei Wuxian's wrist, and he raised it to press the back of the far too cold hand against his forehead now.
"Please..." he whispered, like a prayer. All the things he always buried, never admitted out loud, now bubbled to the surface, unbidden. "I know you've always been the best at our motto. Just...just one more time, mh?"
And then he did something he hadn't done ever since his mother caught him once and scolded them both until the sun set. That was a thing of the past now, and he would never again not admit that Wei Wuxian was his family.
He really couldn’t lose anybody else.
"Just one more impossible, Gege ."
Another tear softly dropped to the floor below, sinking into the textured wood and then disappearing.
Notes:
"halfway between Xūshí and Hàishí" = about 8pm
Gege = big/elder brotherSO *clap* how'd you like that? I enjoy writing JC but this is his last POV chapter, sadly :/ Don't worry, you'll know what he thinks in future events, but not from his POV until the very end, where I have a general POV planned.
JC vomiting is...something i had him do at first when he found out about the golden core hah. But I thought seeing his brother's open chest after just going through the drags of a horrible war was also...a fair reason for that. Also he knows about Wangxian now! Wohoo for him hahha....ha. Writing that last bit was especially fun tho :)))
Wen Qing knows CPR you ask? Yes. Yes she does. Listen, this is magical ancient Chinese medicine, they did an organ transplant on a mountain I think it's reasonable to assume she knows enough to get his heart back into rhythm x) I'm getting a joke out of this that WWXs first kiss will technically be WQ now and both JC and LWJ hate that SO much.
(also WWX is holding still through this all and not cramping or anything because WQ has her needles to keep all his muscles relaxed). Also more on what exactly was hit by the sword later! Yanli knows more about medicine, she'll elaborate for us.Jin Ziyao? Well, the Jin have generational names so it makes sense, since JGS isn't there anymore to stamp his own name on his bastard son. Meng Yao is, after all, born on the same day as Zixuan, so the same age as him. It makes sense to give him a Zi name. Why do they not just honor JGS by giving him his name? Because I said so and it makes no sense, if you keep with the generation logic.
What do you think is the solution to this situation? ;D
Next up: JYL sees her brother slipping away from her and does not like where this is heading. She has a plan though. Golden Core Shenanigans incoming, more surgery happening. (also more post-war shenanigans)
EDIT: His it's editing Anni again. Sorry my dears, I can't post the next chapter today (13th of June) because it's gonna be a LONG BOI and I barely had time this week. My roommate moves in next week and I've been arranging stuff and yeah. It's a lot. I'll manage next week, hopefully! And then the chapter will probably be double the length or smth ;D Thank you for your support!! :* I have to remind myself sometimes that I do this for fun haha.
Chapter 15: Some of us love you
Summary:
Wei Wuxian is dying. Jiang Yanli does everything in her power to keep her little brother alive, because he's fading fast. It's surprisingly (or actually not that surprisingly because we stan her don't we) effective but also very intense.
Trigger Warnings: Descriptions of open bowel surgery, mentions of death and blood. Also some fainting happens and lots of needles.
Notes:
Hi!! I'm alive :)
I'm also really sorry i didn't update in so long, lovelies!! 😢 Life's been really busy, I have a roommate now and we built a lot of furniture in our new apartment and yeah, it's been so busy I didn't really get down to writing business. Also this chapter has been kicking my ass. I've had to bullshit myself around a lot of magic stuff so just....please don't read too much into the details, it's all handwavy in the show/book too so I'm just keeping with the skript ok? ;D
Anyway...I hope you enjoy this, we get a bit into the angst and family feels here too. Also wangxian of course.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Yanli
"Honestly, I don't know if, without a golden core, he even can survive."
The words echoed in Yanli's head over and over again like a dreadful, horrible nightmare loop. She felt frozen in space on the chair she had sat down on in the kitchen and tried very hard to reign in her tears.
That was when she heard a sob coming from the main room and immediate realized that A-Cheng must have overheard. Her eyes closed for a second, pushing down her mounting sorrow. Wen Qing apparently also heard the noise and something like regret flashed across her features. She sighed, but went back to preparing the medicine she had started.
It didn't take long for Yanli to spring to her feet and make her way over, and even less to heave her brother up and envelop him in her arms.
"A-Cheng, shhhh." she sighed. The urge to say 'it'll be okay' was strong, but she knew it would be a lie. So instead, she drew her hand across his back and kissed the top of his forehead. "I thought you were asleep.", she confessed instead, voice soothing and quiet. Really, she would have preferred for him to not hear this dreadful reality in such a way, but was also aware that he would have found out eventually.
"I was." he sniffed, and the sound tore through Yanli's chest like a blade would. "A-Jie, he can't die. I can't-"
"I know. Me neither." she knew that her lip was trembling now as well. The same thought process had gone through her mind ever since she saw A-Xian like this. She couldn't lose anybody else, especially not him. The thought just ate away at her heart and she wished that she could do anything about it. There was a short pause, then another sniff and A-Cheng slowly peeled away from her. He took A-Xian's hand again, feeling the pulse there, and stared into nothing for several seconds. Yanli kept her hand on his arm, moving her thumb in a soothing motion until he found his voice again.
"What if I...what if you put his core back?" his voice was merely a whisper, but it was clear like a bell in cadence, conviction tangible in the air.
"No."
Wen Qing's voice cut through the dark room with an icy undertone. She had apparently finished the medicine, suddenly materialized next to them and kneeled down next to A-Xian. Lifting his head to trickle it down his throat carefully, she made sure he didn’t get it into his airways by using a technique on his throat with her qi that had been one of the first things she had taught Yanli. While she did so, Wen Qing continued, face set in a stubborn frown.
"I'm not undoing my own work. The probability of you both dying is far too high. You're a sect leader now. No unnecessary operations."
"It's not unnecessary if it saves him-"
"I said no." her voice was firm and sure and left no room for protest.
"Take mine."
They all whirled around. Lan Wangji was still sitting at the wall, arms crossed, but his eyes were open. Apparently he had followed the conversation.
"If it's a core that he needs to survive, then take mine."
"Heavens." Wen Qing closed her eyes and shook her head, her fingers massaging her temple. "I'm not bringing the Lan Clan's wrath upon myself by taking their first disciple's core and risking it for an operation that's still highly experimental."
Yanli frowned deeply into the silence.
"What about mine?"
"A-Jie, no-"
"Why not?" she huffed, all the bitterness about being scolded for being a second class cultivator mixing into her words. Countless pitiful looks and sideways remarks. Normally, she really did not mind, but sometimes...it grated on her. Were she not like this, the burden of sect heir would have been on her, not on A-Cheng. But that did not matter right now. Maybe would not matter ever again. "I'm not using it all that much. It's weak, but it's there. If it's a core he needs, he can gladly have it."
"I said no." Wen Qing sighed again, more deeply this time. She sat back, having finished giving A-Xian the medicine. Seeing his lifeless form like this, so motionless as he never was in life...it still sent a shiver down Yanli's spine. Wen Qing's gaze rested on A-Xian, two of her fingers touching his forehead between his eyebrows as if testing something, then looking up and meeting Yanli's eyes. "Listen, a core transfer is extremely risky, and I'd have to open him up for a long time. He's already very weak, if I gave him a 50% survival rate last time, it's definitely near zero now if we did this. I'm sorry."
There was not much to say in the heavy, sorrowful silence after that, and they divided up their time to watch A-Xian so one of them was always awake before dispersing again.
Sleep did not come easily that night. Yanli lay awake, staring at the ceiling and racking her brain. It was not long that she had studied medical cultivation, but the doctors from the Nie sect had been very helpful to provide her with literature if they could and Wen Qing had been very educational in her practical teachings, as well.
The golden Core was Wen Qing's specialty, though. If she said it was impossible...
No.
No, nothing was impossible. This was A-Xian . She would not sit by idly and do nothing while her little brother wasted away under her fingers.
If there was even a slimmer of hope, the smallest of possibilities, she would grab it by the collar and make sure her brother opened his eyes again.
Tomorrow, she would pose a few questions to Wen Qing, and then she had several errands to run. Her brows set into a firm line of determination. She got up and grabbed some paper and ink to make a list.
After that, sleep found her much easier.
As expected, the next days were a constant struggle. A-Cheng was often gone for hours on end, helping with the cleanup after the war. Several times, people requested Wen Qing to step out and hand herself over as prisoner. Luckily, A-Cheng was there for the first of these times, and it was quickly established officially, due to him insisting with the other clan heads, that the Dafan Wen were excluded from having to be rounded up with the Wen warriors.
"A-Cheng is really growing up", Yanli stroked A-Xian's hand while she sat with him. Wangji had just stopped to play his Qin and now settled down beside her again silently, robes flowing elegantly with his movements. He was an ever present appearance in their new residence that they were moved to after A-Xian was stable enough for transport. The flooring was red, and it was big enough for all of them in the back, which was a relief. The kitchen was bigger and in a separate room, too. It felt like a weird kind of luxury after being on the road for so long.
"I hear from the others that he's really putting his foot down for the innocent bystanders, A-Xian. I think you inspired him there. A few months ago he would have wished all Wen dogs to their death, but the way you are with Wen Ning and Wen Qing must have opened his eyes. I mean, they are pretty much like family to us now, too." she smiled, and her thumb drew little circles on A-Xian's wrist. It was true, they really were. Wen Ning had come over from the Unclean Realm, now fully healed from his own injuries, and he constantly checked on A-Xian like a worried mother hen, even if he otherwise followed his sister around like a shadow.
"We all miss you", she finished, halting in her gentle circles and pressing a kiss to his knuckles. "So please hurry up and get better." the words felt lame to say, when she knew his condition, knew exactly what was happening and still sat here and pleaded as if he could do anything about it.
Instead of continuing, she let Wangji be with him while she went back to her research. Her determination had not lessened in the slightest, and her pile of notes was only growing. The desk nearby almost looked like A-Xian's had sometimes, when he had a new spell or talisman idea. She knew that this was a crazy endeavor, but at the same time, it didn't bear not trying to fully form it.
So she kept digging.
It was the third day after the battle that their hopes shriveled to a pile of dust.
Nie Huaisang had come over, having come from the Unclean Realm since his brother was still bedridden himself, in order to help out.
"Wei-Xioooong. Wen Ning talked so much about you, I first thought he was into you. You have to wake up, I think Lan-Xiong is getting jealous."
Indeed, Lan Wangji had been out on a short errand for his brother in that second, so only Yanli and him had been present. Yanli snickered behind her sleeve. She had heard that Nie Huaisang had taken Wen Ning under his wing in the Unclean Realm a bit, and that Wen Ning in return had helped the healers a lot. Both of them not being the biggest on fighting and aggression, they had become fast friends.
"Lady Jiang?", Huaisang’s voice was suddenly directed to her now. She had been nearby, reading a book that Wen Qing had given her on the topic of golden cores.
"Yes, Nie-er-gonzi?"
"Is it...normal that he is twitching like this?", he asked.
Twitching? A small spark in her chest was hopeful that he was waking up. His wound had been doing much better, after all, considering the lack of healing aid from a core and the residual resentful energy remaining inside him. So she set the book down gently and made her way over.
To her dismay, however, the twitching was not due to A-Xian waking. Instead, he had started to mumble quietly, and thrash his hand and arms in irregular intervals. With a heavy weight in her stomach, she also saw that there was sweat beating his forehead and small wisps of smoke coming from him.
"Oh no. He's having a nightmare again.", she whispered as a way of explanation, and kneeled beside him. She wet the rag in the water basin they kept there to wash him and wiped it over his brow soothingly. Her own brows furrowed deeply when she noticed how warm he was.
No...heavens please not that, too.
"Shhh. A-Xian, it's okay. I'm here. Shijie is here, and you'll be fine, mh?", she whispered to him, trying to keep the desperation from making her voice shake. To Nie Huaisang, she spoke a little more firmly. He twitched to attention when she turned to him. "Please go and get Wen Qing, yeah?"
"Okay...what should I tell her? About the nightmare?"
"No...No, I think A-Xian's wound might be infected. He's having a fever."
With widened eyes and a panicked nod, Nie Huaisang was out the door in a flash.
A-Xian's condition was pretty much downhill from there. They were constantly trying to cool down his forehead and even wrapping his ankles in cold wraps, as Wen Qing recommended.
"It's like I feared", she said on the fifth day. "The infection is here, and the resentful energy is only helping it fester." she was tense all over, Yanli could tell. Not being able to help was taking a toll on her, as well. Wen Qing drew her hand through her hair, let down for the night, and sighed deeply. "Oh yeah, Sect Leader Jin was here for you again.", she had a fine line of amusement in her voice. Yanli gave her own sigh, for a different reason, and it was tinged with fondness.
"Was he now? Well, at least he's becoming more self-confident", she decided to see this as a positive. Indeed, Jin Zixuan had become way more forward in his intentions with her and Yanli would relish in it, normally, had she not all of her hands full with A-Xian and her worry for him as well as her by now fairly solid idea of how to help him. It was hardly seen for her to leave the house as supplies were freely delivered to their doorstep anyway. If she was stuck or bored, she would cook to distract herself and until now, nobody had complained about this arrangement.
"You could say that." Wen Qing was glancing at the table not far from where they sat by A-Xian's side, frowning at the schematics. "What exactly is it that you're doing?", she asked, finally.
Well, maybe it was time to fill her in.
"Remember how I asked if A-Xian could form a new golden core?", Yanli said carefully. Wen Qing nodded, her eyes squinting.
"Yes, and how I said that was probably something that could take years, if it was possible at all?"
"Right. Well, A-Xian doesn't have years. You said he wouldn't survive without a core so what if...we made him one?" A few beats of silence in which Wen Qing only blinked at her, then formed a slow frown with her eyebrows, which continuously rose higher than Yanli thought possible.
"That's not...it's not that easy, one can't just make a golden core. If it were, why would we have children form one on their own?" Yanli felt her lips thin in a show of her displeasure. Why would Wen Qing think she hadn't thought of that? With a short sigh, Yanli got up and searched for the proper schematics she had drawn out. After gathering them, she made her way back over again and sat on the floor next to Wen Qing, this time kneeling very formally directly to her, not halfway to A-Xian.
"Please look at these and tell me honestly if it really is impossible." her voice was not shaking, which she was slightly proud of. It took a few minutes, for Wen Qing to read what she had written. In the meantime, Yanli took her brother's hand back in hers and nervously massaged his fingers. A-Cheng was away in a meeting again and Wangji was in one of the rooms, forced to take a nap by Wen Qing, since he had been up all night taking watch over A-Xian. There was a constant vigil by his bed, always a finger on his pulse, because since his heart had already given out once, Wen Qing deftly pointed out it could do so again.
"This..." Wen Qing started, and Yanli's ministration to A-Xian's hand stopped momentarily. "you put this together?" Yanli nodded, but kept still. There was no judgement in there yet and, she found her stomach twinge at the possibility of it all being useless.
"It's crazy. But it might just be possible." Wen Qing finally said. She huffed and shook her head. "There definitely need to be some adjustments and we need to get a lot of people to help with the last part so it's safe for everyone without exhausting their own cores, but..." she smiled properly, probably for the first time since the battle, and Yanli felt her muscles relax around A-Xian's hand as well as the set of her shoulders.
Wen Qing shook her head, skimming over the notes again. "You Jiang really like that motto of yours, huh?" Yanli's lips also formed a smile and a giggle escaped her.
"We do."
Lan Wangji was a constant at A-Xian's side.
Even more than his siblings and more than his doctor, he stayed in the room and had a finger on A-Xian's pulse point or held his hand in his. It would be cute, weren't it so heartbreaking. When Wen Qing and Yanli sat him down to talk their plan over with him, he was visibly nervous. Spending so much time with him during this war had made Yanli puzzle how people didn't see the boy under the carefully crafted jade facade.
"Wei Wuxian is not getting better.", Wen Qing started. This was no news, even to someone not versed in medicine, this was obvious by the way his fever was higher each day, his breathing rattled in a worrying noise and he was almost as pale as the sheets below him. Wangji was versed in medicine, Yanli knew. Mostly musical healing, like his brother, but versed in the basics nonetheless. Now, Wangji swallowed visibly, lips twitching and jaw tightening. "I'm sorry to say this, but I give him until the end of the week, maybe, if nothing is done."
The pure agony passing those handsome features was painful for Yanli to witness. Wangji closed his eyes, took a hitched breath, then two. His hands were shaking in his lap and Yanli was pretty sure he was going to collapse right there when he suddenly seemed to realize Wen Qing's last words. With a force of willpower Yanli could only call miraculous, he schooled himself back into a proper posture and swallowed thickly, before speaking.
"What can be done?" he asked, and they explained.
"Will you help?", Yanli asked, but she knew the answer he would give before it could shoot out of his mouth at the speed of lightning. His eyes were sparkling with something she could only describe as hope and maybe a little bit of amazement.
"Of course. Anything.", his voice was so quiet but also so sure.
"Okay...okay, that leaves only a few more people.", Yanli felt the smile spread on her face and the hope in Wangji's eyes was kindling in her chest, as well. She squeezed his forearm and nodded. "If there's any way at all, A-Xian will fight. Don't lose hope yet."
"Thank you." he whispered in return, not drawing away from her touch. His gaze flew over to A-Xian, brows drawn together. Then he asked a question that stunned Yanli into a short silence. "The resentment he's been using...will he still be able to cultivate that path?" his golden eyes met hers and there was such worry for her brother and even for his newfound methods that Yanli didn't even know how to answer. Her mind had singularly focused on the golden core being the path to saving A-Xian, the sword path kind of being included in that. She had thought that Lan Wangji was of the same opinion, that he thought A-Xian's methods questionable at best and a crime against orthodoxy at worse. To ask after it like this...it truly startled her.
"I do not know", Wen Qing admitted. "Wen Ruohan was able to use the iron, but it continuously damaged his core if he overdid it." she shrugged. "But honestly, if he lives because of what we did, he'd be the last person to give up on making it work somehow, right?", she winked at them both and then got up to leave for the kitchen. To Yanli’s further surprise, Wangji only nodded thoughtfully, and his gaze drifted over to the little sword holder next to the nightstand. It held Suibian and above it was Chenquing, barely fitting the upper level without slipping downwards.
"I know it's dangerous", Wangji said in a quiet tone. "But it's something he carved out for himself and seeing him take down Wen Ruohan like that..." a huff. "Our whole army struggled against him, and it took Wei Ying one afternoon. So maybe it's not something to simply dismiss outright." his fingers drew over the hem of his sleeves, and he swallowed. "It's just...something I've been thinking about.", he admitted. His ears were slightly red, and Yanli found herself snickering into her own sleeve at the endearing admittance.
"You're right. A-Xian survived the Burial Mounds because of this path. If it meant having him still here with us, how could we just cast it aside?" she squeezed his forearm again before letting go, gazing over to her notes. Maybe...maybe there was still room for some adjustments, actually.
"I have to get back to work. Can you tell your brother about the plans when you go to see him next?", she asked and Wangji of course only nodded in agreement.
A-Xian, despite all their hope, did not get better.
"We have to do it soon.", Wen Qing said, wiping her brow and sitting back. She had just had to get A-Xian back from the brink of death once again, and his fever was starting to reach dangerous heights, too. Without a core, it was impossible to access his spiritual pathways, and therefore difficult to stave off the infection through their usual methods.
"The preparations are almost done.", Yanli assured her, and then she looked at A-Cheng, who was sitting next to her, staring at his brother with his hands shaking. They had only had time to prepare him for the whole plan today, after bringing him into just parts of the picture in the last few days. It was now ten days since the battle of Nightless City, and the cleanup was going well. Of those that survived, A-Xian was the patient with the most severe wound now, and all big sects had already sent their best wishes or even offers of help.
"When?", A-Cheng asked, clenching his hands into fists in his purple robes and pressing his teeth together with a clang.
"Tonight.", Yanli decided, and Wen Qing nodded in agreement. "We start tonight and hopefully, we'll be in the clear by morning." she swallowed, squeezing A-Cheng's shoulder in comfort. "You should get some rest. We need all of your core strength for this. You, too." she smiled at Lan Wangji, who was clinging to A-Xian's hand like his life depended on it. He only gave a short nod, searching their gazes for something that he didn't seem to find before closing his eyes.
"Understood. I will message my brother.", he finally said, and his lips were so thin that it almost looked painful.
So their preparations were finalized, A-Xian only hanging on by a thread, until in the afternoon, they lifted his upper body and A-Cheng positioned himself behind him, pulling them both in a semi-sitting position on the bed. A pillow was shoved in between A-Cheng and the hard wooden bed frame, and he wiggled a little until he was comfortable.
"Now transfer in a steady, small stream again. But as directly from your core as you can.", Wen Qing instructed him, similar to what Yanli had written on her plans. A-Cheng nodded and a dim purple light shone from the front of his body, where he had A-Xian's back pressed to his own. The talisman they had pressed in between the two was activated, marking the start of the life binding spell.
"You come here. Stand right there and be ready.", Yanli said to Lan Wangji, who did as he was told. He was pale looking, but also determined, brows set in a clear show of wanting to do this.
Wen Ning and her were in position on either Wen Qing's side or the other side of A-Xian, where they moved him to the center of the room again, but without lifting him off the bed. Shoving the bed had been surprisingly easy, with Lan Wangji's incredible upper body strength. Now the five of them crowded around A-Xian and on Yanli's signal, the process started.
Wen Qing made the first cut. Her needles were placed around A-Xian's lower dantian, while another was in the side of his neck, blocking his nerves. A-Cheng had been given a tincture against feeling pain, as well, because the way he connected himself to his brother right now was binding them together in a deeper way than the normal spiritual energy transfer. Wen Qing had known this spell from previously in her career, normally it was used to keep fellow cultivators alive until a healer could get to them, but it had to be only slightly adjusted.
"It helps that Jiang Wanyin has Wei Wuxian's core, actually.", she had explained as they sat over the plans. "We're going to bind Wei Wuxian's life to his brother's, so while we do the procedure and while he still has enough energy, Wei Wuxian is in much less danger."
"But couldn't we do the core transfer this way, too?", Yanli had found herself asking.
"No. That takes far too long, Jiang Wanyin could not keep the spell up for such an amount of time. We're in the unique situation here that those two are connected, and we have a recipient of this procedure that has no core but still intact meridians." she smiled. "First time for everything with Wei Wuxian in the mix, I guess."
Now, Wen Qing had opened A-Xian's skin and belly fat, revealing the hole where his golden core used to be. Yanli held back the bile in her throat and pressed Lan Wangji's wrist to calm them both. Wen Ning on the other side of the table was ready, dabbing away the red liquid and adjusting a needle to stop the blood flow to the wound. A-Xian had recovered some of his blood from the battle, of course, but he was still running quite low overall, and they wanted to keep the loss at a minimum.
Wen Qing swallowed thickly, getting out the bigger needle that they had fashioned for this express purpose. The Dafan Wen medical needles had always been capable of transferring and distributing spiritual energy, of course. This one, however, was especially created to compress and collect spiritual energy at its pointy end.
"You're going to be providing the main bulk of energy for the new core", Wen Qing had explained to Lan Wangji.
"Why is that not a task given to Jiang Wanyin?", Lan Wangji asked. "After all, Wei Ying's body knows his spiritual energy already." but Wen Qing only shook her head.
"No, we need Jiang Wanyin to keep up a steady stream and the life binding spell. He won't have enough energy to push through the needle. And we'll need a lot. My guess is only you and your brother have a core the size that would be needed, besides Sect Leader Jiang himself." of course she meant of the people currently present in Nightless City. But Lan Wangji only nodded at that, contemplating and then quickly nodding in agreement.
"I will do it."
And so, when Wen Qing nodded at him, Lan Wangji stepped forward, his right forefinger glowing a bright blue, and it illuminated the room far brighter than the talismans they had spread to make them all see clearly.
The glow touched the needle and there was a kind of weird sucking and rushing sound for a second as the light brightened impossibly, and they all had to look away. When Yanli could see something again, bright spots on her eyes, the blue light had turned to gold.
In the middle of the hole in A-Xian's stomach, there, at the end of the needle, there was a small drop of gold, floating as if it was a liquid about to drop. All five of them stared, fascinated, until without further warning, Lan Wangji collapsed to the floor.
"What-" Yanli gasped.
"Shit. I told him to not do everything. A-Ning!"
"Got it.", Wen Ning sprang forwards around the table, collecting Wangji off the floor and dragging him over to a wall, leaning him against it and giving him some of his own energy before checking his meridians.
"He's fine. Just spend almost all his energy."
"Good. Yanli.", Wen Qing ordered.
"Yes.", she said, swallowing thickly. Then she leaned forward and pulled out the nail on top of A-Xian's skull that kept him asleep. Her other hand hovered over the open wound, ready for her part in all this.
"A-Xian. A-Xian wake up, sweetheart.", she coaxed, stroking his cheek, then gently tapping it.
Slowly, jerkingly and then quicker, A-Xian's eyes began to move, then blink, until that warm grey focused on her again for the first time in ten days. Though, ‘focused’ was maybe a tad generous. He seemed out of it, probably from the fever.
"Shijie...what-" almost immediately, his teeth clenched and his eyes closed again, a gasp and a grunt. "Ugh. Hurts.", he gasped, his voice small and his breath drawing short and shallow. Yanli felt her heart constrict. She wished it was possible to just spare him from this and let him sleep it out, but they needed him conscious, they needed him to accept the core into his own body, there was no way they could create a core and make it spin, as well. It was a similar problem as with the core transfer, Wen Qing had explained.
"Shhhh, Xian Xian it's fine. You'll be alright. Deep breaths, remember?" Yanli’s voice was as soothing as she possibly got it, and her thumb ghosted over his slightly damp cheek. For a second, she met A-Cheng's eyes right behind their brother, and his eyebrows were doing something complicated between worry and reassurance, which made her smile a little wider.
"A-Cheng and I are here. We just need you to concentrate, okay? Can you feel the energy in your stomach?"
But A-Xian only looked confused, and shook his head.
"I-I don't-"
"It's okay! Shhh, relax." she took a deep breath, trying to conjure up the calm in her voice that her heart was definitely not feeling. This was the critical moment in her plan. If this didn't work, they were pretty much here with a lot of dissipating or even volatile, unused but compressed spiritual energy that would never form into an actual core and her brother would most likely be lost.
"A-Xian. Remember Madam Fan?" she asked quietly. To her astonishment, this garnered a reaction out of A-Xian, and he chuckled breathlessly, managing to nod once with a jerk of his head. "Let's do it together like she said, mh? Just remember the mantra, didi ." her finger bumped his nose with her knuckle like she always did back then and to her satisfaction, his lips twitched a little.
A deep breath, then another, he followed her instructions. The fingers of her left hand formed their own seal, drawing a pale pink light over A-Xian’s stomach, and she closed her own eyes to feel for A-Xian’s energy. As soon as it was there, she would have to connect it to the core, playing the connection between his cut meridians and the new energy source. Her own core may be weak, but she was, out of the three of them, the most precise with the energy she did have. Maybe in this case, her lack of it throughout childhood was almost an advantage.
"Your stomach is a whirlpool and your core is a pebble. Feel the center and whirl, whirl, whirl, A-Xian. Make it spin, spin, spin. Exhale. Again..."
It seemed like forever until something happened. A-Xian was clearly still in pain, even though the needles were blocking most of it, but she supposed an open stomach as well as the infection and the giant tear in his body couldn't really be blocked completely. His spiritual pathways were damaged from the resentment, but A-Cheng had fed him with his energy regularly, so they weren’t vacant, just weak and brittle. They had hoped it would be enough.
Finally, there was a spark.
She could see and feel the red energy she had once been so familiar with reaching out from one of the meridians, sparking into the open center like a miniature lightning strike. Then there was another, from a different direction, then another. They were only shorts bursts, slow to stay into streams. Wen Qing frowned, holding her fingers to some parts of his body and sending her own qi into those places, to clear the path of his meridians, while Yanli concentrated on her guidance.
"Shijie, it's not-"
"You're doing great, A-Xian. Just a little more.", she interrupted his doubts. She could still remember it clearly, when A-Xian had gotten to them from the streets, he had first struggled to form a core. Often, Yanli would sit with him in the evening for additional meditation outside of his classes, as he always felt silly sitting with the small children as he had been almost ten already.
The evening light would bathe the lotus lakes glow orange and red, shimmering beautifully while they concentrated inwards.
"Maybe it's just too late for me to form a core, shijie.", little A-Xian had whispered one evening, lower lip trembling dangerously. Even though they hadn’t known each other for that long, Yanli was already ready to throw hands at seeing those eyes fill with tears.
"It's not. Believe me, one day you're going to have the brightest, biggest core of the whole sect, I know it." she bumped his nose playfully, settling across from him and taking his palms in hers. "Let's just try again together, mh?"
Back in the present, the red sparks had started to turn into honest little streams under her fingers, connecting to the drop in the center and gripping the little drop off the needle more tightly. She connected them to the little core like strings on a spider web, fine like silk and just as fragile.
"Just a little bit more, A-Xian", Yanli reassured him, her thumb keeping up the soothing strokes . "Almost there."
For a second, the sparks suddenly died and A-Xian's hand went limp in her hands. She gasped, desperate for it to not be true, her heart hammering in her throat and her lip already starting to quiver. The spider web under her fingers blinked, several strands snapping, and the panic inside her threatened to drown her under its heavy waves.
But then, the needle quivered, and the drop detached, falling for a few millimeters until it started hovering in the center of that space. New sparks started to meet it, stronger now and from all sides, and after another tense second, the threads connecting to thicker and thicker strands with only very little help from her own fingers, their goal was finally achieved.
The little drop of energy started to spin.
Gasps of excitement and relief filled the air around them like the sun filtering through clouds after a heavy thunderstorm. Wen Qing was the quickest to react and move on, smiling a tiny bit to herself while she quickened her pace to sew A-Xian back up. Yanli herself took her hand away, breaking the spell gently as the strands now supported themselves, drawing their energy from the core and feeding it like breathing through new lungs.
Almost immediately after this success, A-Xian fainted under Yanli’s fingers, shoulders relaxing against A-Cheng behind him, head lolling sideways until it was supported by A-Cheng's cheek. They made sure it was only a faint and nothing more, but Wen Qing did not seem worried, so Yanli was not so, either.
"Wei Ying", a gasp came from behind them as Lan Wangji finally woke up from his stupor of having drained his energy. Just in time to miss A-Xian's wakeful state, too. He stumbled to his feet in an almost undignified manner untypical of him and reaches the operation table with shaking hands.
He was just in time to see the golden glow spinning with red, before it faded behind the skin that Wen Qing was sewing shut.
"I-it worked?", he stuttered, hope dawning on his normally so expressionless features.
"Yes.", Yanli said, stroking his shoulder with the hands that had clung to her brother just mere seconds ago. "We did it. A-Xian has a core again."
Wangji sagged as if the pressure the size of a boulder had been lifted from his shoulders. A sound that sounded almost like a sob tore from his lips as he shot forward to feel A-Xian’s pulse, his lips trembling as his probing revealed the small, pulsing spark in response.
It was very apparent to Yanli that the small smile on her own face was spreading into something that could definitely be called a grin, and that tears were collecting in the corner of her eyes. She had not allowed herself to get overly emotional in front of her brother and the Wen siblings, and especially not in front of Lan Wangji, who had obviously been in his very own world of misery over the last few days. But now...now, all the pent-up grief seemed to catch up with her, and she felt herself shaking.
"It's done...", she whispered, and soon A-Cheng's hand was squeezing hers, drawing away from the transfer only a little bit to give her the support she needed. Gods, she loved her brothers just so, so much. Losing even one of them was a frequent nightmare, and the very prospect of the possibility of all three of them getting out of this alive somehow...it broke her heart in two as well as seeming to stitch it together for the first time since Lotus Pier's fall.
"Signal your brother. We need to chase the infection out now that medical cultivation can help him again.", Wen Qing said to Wangji. The second jade of Lan was still staring, still focused on the spot where A-Xian was being sewn shut. There were needles moved to different spots and Wen Qing as well as Wen Ning were sending their energy through them, seeming to direct energy down paths directed through them. Burning the resentment out of the infection , Yanli remembered the plan. It's what was keeping A-Xian from improving in the first place. She leaned forward to assist with the needles, something Wen Qing had taught her early on in her apprenticeship.
Lan Wangji's reaction was belated, but he finally nodded, lifting the signal talisman from his sleeve and letting it burn in his fingers with the small remaining amount of energy he had left within himself. Then he stumbled back again and let himself rest on one of the low chairs, head in his hands.
It was not long until Zewu-Jun arrived, politely knocking on the door. None of the others had the ability or presence of mind to step out and greet him, so Yanli wrenched herself from her brother's side and made her way over, giving the last needle she was about to push in to Wen Ning.
"Welcome, Zewu-Jun. Thank you for your assistance." she bowed to him and gestured for him to enter. It was probably evident, how her eyes were swollen with tears, but the smile on her face had not left ever since that tiny spark of hope spun into existence. She had felt the core herself, sending her own energy in. It was so, so small, like the first time it had formed. However, it built an anchor for spiritual energy to enter his body and be sent wherever it was needed, and that was what had hindered his healing, at least the one with the medical healers, before.
"Has it worked?", Zewu-Jun asked her. He did not know many details, but he knew that it was complicated and a procedure Wen Qing had not taken lightly. Lan Wangji had debated on letting his brother know about the core problem, but Yanli had insisted that A-Xian had already been devastated that they had found out about it and did probably not want the Lan Sect Leader and by proxy any other sect leader other than his own brother to find out about this.
"It has. Now we need your musical cultivation for the rest, if you will." she smiled at him with another bow and Zewu-Jun only nodded sagely back at her, a similar pleasant smile lighting up his features.
"Of course." he stopped, when he rounded the screen, taking in the scene before him. By now, A-Xian was covered by his robes again, but A-Cheng was still clinging to him from behind, purple energy whirling around them both, but mainly between A-Xian's back and his front.
"Life-binding? What have you been- Wangji???" Lan Xichen seemed shaken, seeing his brother on the ground, slumped over like he was. At once, the first Jade was with the second, kneeling by his side. However, Wangji just shook his head, shaking off his brother's concern.
"No, I'm fine, Xiongzhang . Please, help Wei Ying.", he mumbled. But Zewu-Jun had already grabbed his wrist and sent some energy through.
"Wangji, your core, you're almost completely drained. What were you doing- "
"Zewu-Jun. With respect, we do not have time for this. We will explain later, please commence the healing of Wei Wuxian's infection.", Yanli tried to not let her voice show how urgent she wanted to continue. It was testament to her plan that Zewu-Jun combined his healing music with Wen Qing's efforts to run the infection that had been spreading around her brother's lungs out of his body. It had been impossible for any healing magic to get a hold of him like this without a core to cling to and the magic that could have an effect on non cultivators had a limit, it could not deal with big issues like a stab wound and its following infection.
"Alright.", Zewu-Jun seemed to finally give in to her insistent words, combined with his little brother's pleading gaze. Yanli could only feel a close understanding with the elder Lan sibling at this, knowing so well that she had often tried and failed to reason with her younger brothers about something only to give in when they pleaded for her to do something else instead.
Finally, Liebing was taken out of his sleeve and a slow, soothing melody filled the air of the house they had occupied.
For a small second, Yanli tried to just listen, to soak it in. The flute was truly giving off a lovely melody. Nevertheless, however soothing it was, her muscles twitched for her to go back into action.
So she opened some of the windows in the back to let in fresh air so A-Xian could breathe better. Her next step was to prepare a broth they had talked about earlier that was often given to children forming their cores, as it helped concentrate their energy. She added a few ingredients that she knew A-Cheng and A-Xian loved, hoping to additionally sooth them a little.
"Thank you, A-Jie.", A-Cheng smiled. He paused, taking a sip of the broth with one hand while the other was still firmly at A-Xian's waist, holding him close to himself. "It's so weird", he continued, another sip to his mouth, while Yanli fed the broth to A-Xian with the same method Wen Qing always used. "I can feel his energy again." the smile on his lips was soothing Yanli's nerves, as he hadn't been this content in quite a while. Still, a small flinch went through him now. "But I did also feel his pain while he was trying to spin it. His paths were so damaged..." his voice drifted off, eyes roaming over their brother's body as if to follow the spiritual paths to all the ends and corners of their system, as if his gaze could tell them to quit hurting A-Xian on the spot.
"Yes. But they'll get better now, A-Cheng. It's going to be fine.", she soothed, drawing her fingers through his hair. Her other hand lifted to A-Xian's pulse point on his arm, carefully pressing three of her fingers to the vein, so she could personally feel the pulsing of blood as well as energy below them.
Her lips pressed to A-Xian's knuckles, then, when the small little core sang and turned under her touch, as if knowing that it had formed according to her coaxing, to her plan.
"A-Xian is going to be fine."
There was no doubt in her voice anymore.
Notes:
So, how'd you like my solution? I know some of you thought I was gonna have Yanli give up her own core but I was tired of cores being handed around and pretty sure WWX would be able to normally grow one since his was properly cut out.
What do you think's gonna happen next? :)
Next up: WWX waking up and suddenly he has a core. Wonder how that's like for him. Noo you're wrong I didn't write this whole built up for just this scene :)))) Also post-war things.
Chapter 16: It's not much but there's proof
Summary:
Wei Wuxian wakes up with a core and freaks out. His family explains to him what happened and then there's some alone time with Lan Zhan *eyebrow wiggle
~~
Trigger warnings for mentions of near-death and panic attacks.
Notes:
Hi!!!! I am alive.
I'm very sorry, again, about the late update, but I've hit a lil bit of a slump and also um. I gotta admit romance is like, 10 times harder for me to write than like, angst. Sooo yeah. I hope you still enjoy??
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wei Wuxian
Waking up from unconsciousness was getting to be a stupid habit, Wei Wuxian decided. It was pretty much one of his first thoughts that he could clearly form when he pulled himself out of the never-ending darkness.
"Ugh", he heard his own voice moan. Oh okay, so that worked.
Good start.
Next were his limbs. He could not recall what happened before he got here, so it was probably best to assess his well-being step by step, right?
A twitch was the answer from first his toes, then his fingers. Well then, another victory. His eyes seemed to be a no-go still, so the routine went on.
The spiritual energy in his core happy answered his quiet ca-
Wait.
What?
No.
No !
As if he was shot by lightning, he scrambled upwards, his eyes wedged open despite their previous reluctance.
"What the-" the figure slumped on the bed next to him shot back, obviously startled, and stared at him.
He had a core.
He-had-a-core.
What the fuck had happened? He was very, very sure that he had given his core to Jiang Cheng, remembering the cruel, long hours of having it being carved out of him and then later Jiang Cheng finding out about it and them hugging and crying on the floor.
His hands were closing around his stomach in panic, barely aware that this hurt like hell, fingers digging into the red fabric there. He felt different, lighter but also terribly heavy, his joints leaden and on fire while his meridians were filled with so much warmth that he almost just teared up from the feeling of it. For so long, he had just been filled with this cold emptiness, trying to replace it with resentment and hate, and it had left him even more hollow than before. Now, he could feel the miniature core spinning round and round, and he didn't know what to feel or think-
Someone was shouting at him, then at someone else, and soon he had hands prying his fingers away, shaking his shoulders.
Next thing he knew, there was Jiang Cheng's face right in front of him, brows creased in something that Wei Wuxian could clearly interpret as a mix between worry and surface level anger, masking an even deeper frenzy. Words left his brother's lips, but Wei Wuxian barely heard him over the rushing in his ears.
"Jiang Cheng..." he whispered, voice breaking, not only from the dryness of his throat. "Why do I have a..." he couldn't finish the sentence, his lips were quivering almost as much as his hands now, throat closing in around the words before they could form. His brother was worrying at Wei Wuxian's stomach, sending in some energy for some reason. That meant it was at least not his own core given back to him, but how, how, who!?
"Wei Ying!" a familiar voice cut through to his consciousness and for just a second, he looked up. There was Lan Zhan, brows in an obvious furrow, but just as beautiful as ever. No, something was...something was wrong, there were shadows under his eyes, deep and cutting, he was obviously exhausted because of something, shoulders tense, thinner than usual.
No.....no this was not happening, not Lan Zhan!
He only knew that he was crying from the hot trails running down his cheek and he noticed the hyperventilation when the struggle to breathe became too much.
"Wei Ying, please calm down. You need to-" Lan Zhan was in front of him now, Jiang Cheng saying something about getting someone and disappearing from view. Lan Zhan's hands were on his shoulders, before one hand lifted to force Wei Wuxian to meet eyes with him by placing a finger under his chin gently, a brief brush of a thumb over his cheek wiping at his tears. In any other situation, Wei Wuxian would have shivered at the gentle touch. "Match your breaths to mine, okay? You're alright, everything's fine."
"I'm not worried-" Wei Wuxian stopped, realizing something. If he had a core, he could just go ahead and see for himself, right? So he tried to follow Lan Zhan's instructions, tried to quiet his breathing until he didn't feel like he was drowning any longer. Then his shaking fingers lifted, and he put two on Lan Zhan's wrist, sending in some of his spiritual power to reach out, to feel...
...just for a steady, strong pulse of energy to push back at him.
"Thank the heavens.", he breathed, hearing a breathless chuckle come from his own lips. But then why was Lan Zhan so pale and looked so exhausted? Jiang Cheng hadn't looked much better, and he had felt his energy go into him, too. Into his stomach...
With the bit of awareness he had regained, he looked down at himself and almost started to panic anew.
His right hand and the front of his robe were blooming with fresh blood. On instinct, he patted down his chest, noticing the pressure of thick bandages. Just as this realization set in, he started to feel the pain seeping into his awareness and almost collapsed to the side, had Lan Zhan's strong grip not held onto him firmly.
Gods above, his chest was burning, his arms felt like sticks without any power, his stomach was literally on fire...suddenly unconsciousness seemed like a good choice again, and he grunted from the sudden flash of discomfort, forcing his arm to wedge under him for support again without giving in.
"Lan Zhan..." he whispered, finally finding his voice but not daring to strike a louder tone, panting a bit to get back air as if his lungs were going for a run without him. The heat of the room suddenly felt like too much, and he was certain that he was sweating profusely. He searched out those golden depths and knew his own face was contorted into a grimace still. "W-what happened?" Lan Zhan would not lie to him, of that Wei Wuxian was sure. He would not beat around the bush and tell him everything outright.
Before such a thing could even start to take place, however, a door across the unfamiliar room slid open and there were hurried footsteps drawing closer. Wei Wuxian was determined to ignore them and instead try to interpret the short face journey that Lan Zhan's micro-expressions painted, before another voice tore away his gaze.
"A-Xian! You're awake!" The delight and utter relief laced through the tone made his neck snap in its direction on instinct, and Wei Wuxian had to shake away the weird tilt that his vision made at the sudden movement.
"Shijie! Wen Qing, Wen Ning......you're all here." he was sure that he was grinning despite the lingering bursts of pain.
Indeed, they were. All three of them were coming towards the bed, joined by Jiang Cheng behind them, who closed the door gently. The relief was palpable in the air and on all of their faces, shijie leaning down to stroke away a tear and squeeze his shoulder. Wen Qing gently but firmly shoved Lan Zhan to the side without another word when she saw his torso, her lips pursed in all seriousness. Without the support, Wei Wuxian almost tilted again, but Lan Zhan was there once more, helping him lean against the side of the bed, gently setting him so Wen Qing could examine him better, adjusting the pillow roll so the wood wouldn't cut into his spine. A smile graced Wei Wuxian's lips at his gentle ministrations and the worry on all of their faces, and he suddenly found himself chuckling.
"You all look as if someone died.", he commented, hoping to lift the mood in the room.
Unfortunately, this had the opposite effect. Instead of his siblings rolling their eyes but chuckling along, a deep frown entered all of their faces, and the temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees.
" You almost did.", of course it was stubborn, rational Wen Qing who regained her voice first, lightly hitting his shoulder in chastisement for his careless words.
Wei Wuxian blinked, trying to remember what had happened, first coming up blank. Soon, however, flashes seemed to come back to him.
Nightless City, him raising the dead to guarantee a win, Wen Ruohan trying to stab Lan Zhan with Baxia, it piercing him instead, his little conversation with the tyrant himself before he let him be swallowed by the resentment explosion from the self-destructing yin iron... briefly waking in Lan Zhan's arms, deciding not to say anything, so much blood, not being able to breathe...
"Shit..." he whispered, taking a deep breath to get himself back into the present, drawing his blood free hand over his face. "Yeah okay, how the fuck did I survive that? What did you do ?", he insisted, drawing himself to sit up again properly, but being shoved back firmly by Wen Qing's hands on his shoulder.
"It was close. We did what was necessary.", Wen Qing only said, finally letting go of his stomach, apparently satisfied with what she left behind now. The pain had lessened, and she shoved a potion to drink into his hands, which he shakily lifted and put to his lips, drinking obediently. Okay...well what was that supposed to mean? Wen Qing sighed. "I'll change the bandages soon. It's probably best if your sister explains.", she gestured to shijie, who smiled first at her, then at him.
Shijie did not look much better than the others. She gently folded her robes around her to seat herself beside him on the bed while the others settled at other points in the room. Lan Zhan was still close while Wen Qing and Wen Ning drew back a little, Wen Ning shooting him a flashing smile and a small 'Wei Gonzi' as a greeting before following his sister. Wei Wuxian's gaze returned to his own sister and he frowned. Why should shijie explain, he wondered.
"A-Xian. When Wangji brought you in, you were barely alive. Wen Qing's surgery saved you, but your heart gave out on you three times in total-" she interrupted herself, swallowing deeply and taking his hand, stroking its back as if to calm herself as well as him. It worked, mostly, because there was a rising dread with every word she said. "T-then, there was an infection setting in, a-and we started to lose hope. I had a plan in mind, but it was risky. Wen Qing said you needed a core in order for her healing cultivation to be able to take..." she stuttered to a stop, obviously reliving those feelings of dread and forcing her own tears back down. Wei Wuxian's own eyes widened further and further, glued to his sister.
The.... this core that he felt inside him, it was tiny. It was indeed too small to be Jiang Cheng's or even Lan Zhan's, both of them amazing and strong cultivators. But shijie...no.
"No...Shijie. Shijie tell me you didn't-" he withdrew his hand to press it to his mouth, stifling the sob that suddenly emerged. "Not yours, I couldn't...p-please-" his whole being felt like ripping apart at the thought of shijie giving him her core, of all people. He had done his best to keep her out of his war, had he not? It was impossible with her existing within the clans of course, to completely be out of it, but helping the medics and training to be one was still preferable to the thought of her on an active battlefield, much less being cut open without anesthetic for hours and hours, for his sake-
"A-Xian. A-Xian calm down, nobody gave you their core." her voice was the only thing he recognized before he came back to himself.
"W-what"?, he croaked, tone already as dead as he felt right now. "Then...how?"
"I was about to tell you. But we can wait, if you need to rest, mh? Now that you woke we have all the time you need.", she soothed, and this time he was the one to extend his hand and take hers, squeezing tightly and pressing the bile in his throat down to continue the conversation.
"No, no please tell me. I need to know."
"Very well..." she smiled and squeezed his hand back, wiping another tear from his cheek with the other.
Then she described what they did, and Jiang Cheng handed over something to him, written on a surprisingly thick scroll. It was shijie's neat handwriting, but a detailed description of a procedure, of a...construction of a sort.
"You did this?", he asked, huffing out air through his nose and feeling a grin spread on his features.
"Not alone, but the general idea, yes.", Shijie said, but Jiang Cheng shook his head firmly.
"Don't be modest, it's definitely your thing, A-Jie. Yes, she did this. She spun your meridians back into place herself. You should have seen it." Jiang Cheng sighed, sitting down on the bed too, which creaked under his weight. He kept to the area around his knee, but the pride on his face was clearly visible for all to see. "But I guess you were pretty out of it, even though you were awake for the spinning bit."
"What? I don't remember it.", he said, feeling a shiver run down his spine. He had been awake during this? Even if it was only for a little bit, that seemed like something one would remember, right? After all, the searing pain of having his core carved out of himself was very fresh in his mind and certainly not something he would ever easily forget as long as he lived.
It was kind of spooky to think he received a new core with this experimental method and didn't even remember starting to spin it. A question formed in his mind then, after he pieced together most of what must have happened from the schematics in his hands. "Who provided the energy, though? As far as I can see here, you need a lot." he looked up at Jiang Cheng, asking himself if maybe this new core was born of his own energy, handed back to him by his brother. Would be kind of poetic, would it not be? But Jiang Cheng just shook his head and nodded to someone else, closer to Wei Wuxian, who had been silent for the last few minutes. Wei Wuxian's eyes widened and he whirled around.
"Lan Zhan? You?", he swallowed heavily, suddenly feeling like his throat was too dry to handle and wetting his lips when Lan Zhan nodded in confirmation.
"I provided all my core could give. I would have given the core itself, but Lady Wen said it was too risky.” His face was so serious and his voice so earnest that it left no room for doubt of him meaning every single word. Wei Wuxian knew that his laugh was forced, but it was all he could do to not bury his face in the sheets and scream, because it was suddenly very warm here in a different way, and his face was probably a deep, deep red.
Jiang Cheng's huff and crossed arms combined with a classical eye-roll interrupted Wei Wuxian's thought spiral.
"Yeah and he fainted from it, too. Wen Qing told him not to overdo it."
"Lan Zhan!"
"I am fine, Wei Ying.", Lan Zhan's voice was reassuring and his hand twitched, as if deciding if it was okay to reach out. Maybe shijie's hand still on his deterred him, but Wei Wuxian's stomach gave a little flip at the prospect. That was also the point where he truly registered the difference in how much...lighter he felt.
"Well", Wei Wuxian bit his upper lip, smirking and blinking up at Lan Zhan again. "Thank you then, Lan Zhan. I never...I never thought I'd be able to have one again." his laugh felt hollow even to him, staring down at his right hand, still covered in blood that was now starting to crust to a gross brown. "I...I know what I did during the campaign is probably not...something you want to support, so. Thanks for not...giving up on me."
"No thanks necessary", Lan Zhan murmured, voice firm, while Jiang Cheng huffed and turned away partly.
"As if you'd have to repay something, isn't it the other way around?", his lips were pursed and were Wei Wuxian not currently still grappling with the fact that he got to keep this, he would laugh at how obvious Jiang Cheng was being right now.
"A-Cheng is right. You don't owe us anything, understood?" shijie smiled, leaning in to wrap him in her arms. She breathed against his hair and stroked through it gently, keeping him close. Wei Wuxian sniffled, then pressed his lips together to keep in the next pathetic noise. For a few moments there it seemed like the other two melted away, and he tried to just focus on his shijie's warmth around him, on her gentle patting on his back and then on the kiss she pressed to his hair. All the darkness and desperation he'd felt in the last few weeks suddenly seemed too far away, just for a moment, and he drew in a shuddering breath, dizzily feeling the energy inside him respond to his every thought and movement.
"All I want you to do now is to heal.", shijie's voice was so quiet in his hair that he was sure the other two could not hear. "I want you to be happy." she squeezed him so tight that it almost hurt and Wei Wuxian felt like sobbing again at the love in those words, but instead only managed a huff and an almost smile into the warmth of her robes.
"Then you gave me the best possible starting point, and I will always be grateful for that.", he whispered back just as quietly.
And he meant every word.
Of course, nothing was magically easy, though. When Wei Wuxian let go of his sister, finally having calmed down, he was exhausted and his eyelids already fell shut again. Shijie, who was apparently now a pretty decent medical cultivator, told him to rest and that they could discuss the rest later -which included many of the post-war happenings.
Honestly, that was okay with Wei Wuxian. He laid back down on the pillow while Shijie adjusted his blankets for him as if he was a small child.
"Are you tucking me in?", he asked, voice slurring from exhaustion.
"Yes, A-Xian is only three after all." she pushed her knuckle against his nose oh so gently and this time, his sleepy smile was all parts honest and no parts pain. He wrinkled his face against her fingers while Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes at them, complaining for them to stop this nonsense.
"Sleep well, A-Xian. It's so good to see you with us again." she smiled at him, and he could practically see the exhaustion and stress falling from her shoulders. Trying not to let the guilt at putting that there get to him, he wished them a good night and tried to ignore that it was indeed more dinnertime than bedtime.
"I will stay." Lan Zhan's voice came from the side and to his utter surprise, neither of his siblings protested or commented on this, only nodding and wishing him a good night as well.
"Lan Zhan, you don't have to do that.", he protested, almost out of habit. After all, the great Hanguang-Jun probably had better things to do than keeping Wei Wuxian, widely mistrusted unorthodox heathen, company while he was resting. However, Lan Zhan did not get up to leave, he instead shook his head slightly and kept his eyes on Wei Wuxian's.
"Maybe. But I want to.", he said, shifting slightly so he sat in a position that honestly still looked quite uncomfortable but was a little bit closer to the bed. "I have been taking the night shifts mostly, in the last few days."
"Night shifts?" Wei Wuxian tried to mask his uneasiness with a laugh.
"Mn. Your heart gave out several times. Someone was watching your pulse at any given moment." His voice was strangely small and kept purposefully neutral, and Wei Wuxian saw his eyebrows shift into a true expression of concern, almost distress. "I...one time, it..." his jaw twitched, and it seemed like he could not continue, eyes flickering anywhere but Wei Wuxian, clearly lost in memory.
"While you were here?", Wei Wuxian completed the sentence for him, feeling a chill run down his spine when Lan Zhan only managed to nod, lips tightly pressed together, eyes downcast. The scene was practically playing in Wei Wuxian's mind, his imagination generously providing the picture of Lan Zhan, half dozing with his fingers on his pulse, maybe even his head adorably drooping a little, suddenly springing up and yelling for Wen Qing when it stopped right under his fingertips... "Oh. Heavens, Lan Zhan, I'm so-"
"Don't. Not your fault." Lan Zhan interrupted. Wait, wasn't there a rule about that? Wei Wuxian raised an eyebrow at him, giving a dry laugh.
"Of course it's-"
"Wen Ruohan's fault. That's over, he's dead.", and he was interrupted again. Truly, Lan Zhan was not adhering to that interruption rule today, huh? Wei Wuxian snorted. Not loud, it wasn't really possible with his stomach and lungs still protesting against every movement, but enough of a snicker to make a delighted sound float through the air. To his small surprise, Lan Zhan's creases of worry seemed to suddenly smooth out at this. Wei Wuxian decided that it was better to change the subject.
"Ah Lan Zhan, I never thought I'd feel this again." he lay a hand over his lower dantian and closed his eyes, feeling the slow spin of the core and the warm thrum of energy pulsing through his body. The tiredness he had felt just a few seconds ago seemed like it was blasted away over the prospect of a conversation with Lan Zhan alone like this. The last time they had been alone...no, that was not a nice thing to think back on, so better not dwell.
"I...I asked Wen Qing if you would be able to still use your own path, even with a core.", Lan Zhan said, his voice quiet. A small tug to his heartstrings brought him back to the present and he smiled sadly.
"Ah, of course. You wouldn't want me to ruin this new chance with my shenanigans, would you?", the realization of that made his chest constrict tightly, for a second, his stomach twinging in something different from hunger.
"No! That's not what I..." Lan Zhan swallowed, and Wei Wuxian saw his fists balling at his side. "I asked because I thought some aspects of it were worth exploring, and I wanted to know if you could, you know, combine them." his voice tampered off towards the end, uncharacteristically nervous with a stubborn expression on his features that Wei Wuxian had to process for a second to recognize for what it was.
"Oh...okay", was all he got out, immediately feeling dumb and like his brain seized to function. Lan Zhan had...advocated for his cultivation? He had asked about it, thought it worth...exploring? He didn't know if he was supposed to laugh, because there was no way this was real. So he just huffed, lifting his hands to bury his face in them. It was just...all too much.
"This can't be real. I probably actually died in your arms on the steps of that palace and now my brain is feeding me some kind of realistic daydream to transition me to the other side...or something." he dug his palms into his eyeballs to keep them from watering yet again when a gentle touch around his wrist stopped him, slightly tugging to take the pressure away and after a second of sudden blinding light, Wei Wuxian chanced to look up, meeting Lan Zhan's eyes.
"It is real. I could not bear it to be a dream.", he said, distress again flickering across his pretty face. Those eyes...the deep golden flicker of them was just so distracting and magnetic that Wei Wuxian found himself staring for a few seconds, until Lan Zhan was suddenly looking back, gaze unwavering.
Lan Zhan was here, he had stayed up past all his restrictive bed times for over a week now, for him . He had given almost all his energy to build this small little core, for him .
"Lan Zhan-" he interrupted himself this time, not knowing how to continue, what exactly to say. His heart was hammering in his chest, uncertainty creeping in next to all the other overwhelming feelings. His wrist still in Lan Zhan’s, he made it slide back so their hands touched, ever so gently. Lan Zhan’s hand squeezed back and Wei Wuxian felt like he was going to faint once again, but for different reasons altogether.
If this wasn't a dream, then...then he was about to probably ruin a whole of a lot of things. But if it was...what harm would it do? This was all way too good to be true, too much. The war won, his family together and well, working alongside one another for his sake, saving him and giving him the possibility to wield Suibian again, one day. How could that all be true? How could he not think it a dream, his mind soaring through impossible clouds.
How could he not reach forward and smooth out that little crease between Lan Zhan’s beautiful brows with his thumb?
The half-sitting position he was in only granted him so much access to Lan Zhan's face, but the feather-light touch to that gorgeous forehead was nonetheless granted while their other hands remained entwined. Under his finger, Lan Zhan froze, but the small furrow indeed smoothed out, his golden eyes widening just slightly, meeting Wei Wuxian's again.
Careful not to touch the forehead-ribbon, Wei Wuxian, emboldened by Lan Zhan not drawing back at all, traced his forefinger down beside those golden eyes, thumbing at the visible signs of exhaustion there, then smoothing over the sharp cheekbone.
The room had completely fallen away around them now, Wei Wuxian would not notice if Wen Ruohan himself returned from the dead and burst through the door. How often had he thought about doing this but never dared? How often had he told himself it was not time, Lan Zhan would never let him, Lan Zhan could never want him? How often had he not even dared to go down that road with his own thoughts and desires, knowing them to be hopeless and fruitless forever.
But here he was, here Lan Zhan was, having sacrificed for him, worried for him, stayed by his side, considered his path worth exploring . How could he not push, prod and question? How could he not try to find out if he was allowed this, too, if everything else had already fallen into place, somehow, graciously, miraculously?
There was shock in Lan Zhan's gaze, but only for a second. In the next, his golden eyes fluttered closed, mouth opening slightly, and his face turned minutely, welcoming, into Wei Wuxian's palm, breathing in deeply and letting it out slowly.
Wei Wuxian's own breath haltered in his battered lungs, but not for the usual reason. Lan Zhan nuzzling his cheek into his palm like that drew so many things out of the deepest prisons of his mind that he didn't even know what possessed him before he found himself speaking, once again.
"Prove it to me, then.", he whispered into the thick, heavy air between them.
"What?", the sound of Lan Zhan’s voice was merely audible, and Wei Wuxian could feel more than see Lan Zhan's own fingers lingering over his, uncertain what to do next. Their entwined hand stayed that way, with Wei Wuxian’s thumb carefully stroking over Lan Zhan’s palm, a curious reversal of that time in the Unclean Realm.
"Give me proof that I'm not dreaming.", Wei Wuxian clarified. Honestly, his mind was blank, he did not know how he was even still forming sentences. All he could see was Lan Zhan, his long lashes, his sharp cheekbone, the curve of his lips-
It was suddenly impossible to just sit there. This might be a dream or it might not. He might be ruining everything or he might not. But he could not wait or wonder anymore, he had to know.
So he drew Lan Zhan closer, by the neck and their entwined hands, dragging him towards his half-seat on the bed. There was no way Lan Zhan could not potentially remove himself from his weak enclosure if he wanted to, not when Wei Wuxian's muscles were still trembling like this. So it was even more of a pleasant realization when he didn't, when he let himself be pulled, when his eyes slightly opened and met his, and there was no fury or protest, only wonder and warmth.
Those gorgeous lips opened to say something, but Wei Wuxian decided that enough was enough.
So he closed his own eyes and went in for his initial goal, pressing his lips to Lan Zhan's.
An explosion of sensations flooded him; breath against his cheek, heat against the thin skin on his far too dry lips, blood flooding his neck and face because he could not believe he was actually doing this. A smile made his own lips twitch slightly, warmth spreading in his guts, starting from the small spark of a core and spreading slowly outside, when he felt Lan Zhan relax against him and his sluggish brain realized what that meant. It was almost a daze when a warm hand stroked his jaw and drew him even closer, while another rested at his waist.
When, after a small gasp, Lan Zhan began to kiss him back .
No matter what horrors were behind him, this made it all worth it. He would be able to bury the darkest nightmares somehow, just holding on to right here.
Just like that, it was suddenly very certain to him;
This was real.
Notes:
*cough
It happened!! They're kissing :D. Gotta admit, after my initial hesitation this was a LOT of fun to write, I just love these two so much and they deserve so much and sldjlsdfj anyway. I hope the first kiss I've written since like, 2015 or something was still enjoyable to read ;D Tell me all your thoughts about it.This fic will continue, even though theoretically I COULD end it here. But I want to actually write how things change, I want you to see my #vision for their future together and shit soooo hang in there :). Chapters will be back at about 5k in length now I think.
Hope you enjoyed! I promise I'll finish this, really. Don't worry :*
PS: Quick culture question. When you think of a frown, do you think of the mouth or the forehead being involved? I changed it here but i had a small debate with my american roommate about it. For me as a German, the frown is the forehead (Stirnrunzeln), but apparently it's more of a mouth movement?? which makes sense with the whole 'turn that frown upside down' and frowny face etc but idk. It fostered some confusion lmao. Just thought you'd maybe find that intersting idk, ignore me hah.
Oh yeah next up: Lan Wangji's reaction to this ;D Also post-war banquet and stuff. LWJ getting to take Wei Ying as his +1 :DD *cough anyway...
Chapter 17: Since there's no Me without You
Summary:
LWJ had a terrible time while WWX was unconscious. His reaction to his beloved waking and kissing him!! Also recovery, banquet shenanigans and finally, more romance!! (also some sneaky Chengqing *cough)
Notes:
Hi! Merry Christmas y'all :)
I promised I'd finish this and I did! During Nano I finished this fic and I'm not editing it to post it. Editing always takes a bit because during Nano I don't produce my BEST writing, just the MOST, ya know. Yeah anyway, it's done and except heavy changes in Chapter 20, I'm getting there with the editing, too. So! Look forward to this being finished soon. I have a next fic planned already, if you're interested, in which WWX gets captured after (almost int his case) killing Jin Zixuan. It'll be VERY angsty and torture-y. Tell me if that'd be something you'd be interested in x).
SO this chapter! LWJ is at it again, this time he gets to actually BE with Wei Ying in the way he wants to. I really enjoyed writing this :) This'll be the last Wangxian focused chapter until Chapter 20 tho (they'll show up during the other two too, but they're not the main focus), so get your fill hah. This one's over 10k long again (don't ask), so hopefully making up a little bit to how late it is.
Enjoy!! See you much sooner now :*
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Lan Wangji
Lan Wangji's days had been a blur after the final battle. The passing of the rise and fall of the sun was of no importance to him as of these moments. Everything was just drenched in constant worry and a kind of numbness unknown to him throughout his previous life.
To him, the sun was permanently hidden behind the horizon, as its personification lay unconscious, unmoving, dying.
The Jiang siblings were dealing with the situation at hand in their own, simmering way. Both of them were hovering, worried, showing it in unique little ways that Wangji did not yet have time to be familiar with much, though he might recognize it if he was really paying attention. Wangji himself was soaking in his traumatized state of mind.
Wei Ying's blood just hadn't come off his hands.
It had taken several minutes that felt like hours of rough scrubbing with a sponge until the red-brown crust would finally stop being visible. Even then, it was slow to get out of his mind, the image of Wei Ying's hand in his, both covered in his blood, his eyes closing with his face in an almost peaceful smile.
His hand slipping-
"Wangji? Are you listening?", Xiongzhang's voice was far away, but Wangji forced his attention away from the red color of the tea, trying to not think about blood in water.
"Yes. Uncle is arriving to help take care of things.", he repeated what his brother had just uttered. At least he was pretty sure that was what it was. When he looked up, Xichen was smiling, but his forehead was also in a slight fold of worry.
"I asked how Wei-gonzi was doing.", he repeated patiently, and Wangji blinked at him. Oh. He had indeed not heard that. His fingers quietly formed fists in his sleeves, and he tried not to let show how his jaw tightened at the thought. Knowing his brother, and being aware how his brother knew him, he was most likely unsuccessful.
"Lady Wen assures she is doing her best.", was all he said. That was not a lie, and he was not going to voice his deepest, darkest fears while Nie Mingjue was in hearing range at the other side of the privacy screen.
"I see.", Xiongzhang said. Luckily for Wangji, his brother knew when not to press a topic with him. The tenseness in his posture was enough of an indication of his distress, because Xichen’s forehead line of worry only deepened.
"Wangji, I hope you are getting enough rest.", he stated it almost like a question, but it was enough of a statement that Wangji would not be pressed to answer with so many words.
"Mn.", was all he said to that, before he rose to bow and get back to the Jiang quarters. Xichen swallowed, but nodded back, wishing him well. His silence on this was enough of an answer.
Unsurprisingly, Wangji was not getting enough rest. To be quite honest, he was not getting rest at all.
His nights were spent with him clinging to Wei Ying's wrist, fretting that his pulse would not give out under his fingertips. Daytime was not much better, because he tried to rest, he did, but there was much to do, and it was easier to sink into distraction than to actually try to lie down and sleep. There were Wen Ruohan’s libraries to sort, land to divide up, bodies to transport, to bury, to burn…
Wen Qing had pressed a tincture into his hands at one point and told him that if he did not drink it and slept, she would knock him out with her needles and make him.
"You and the Jiang siblings are the same. You can't help him if you've exhausted your own reserves." she shook her head at him, obviously exasperated. Her own eyes were underlined by deep rings, she was obviously also not getting the rest she needed.
Wangji had nodded and drank the liquid without any further protest.
He did indeed manage to sleep that day.
At his shift with Wei Ying that evening, one of his frequent nightmares decided to become a reality;
Wei Ying's heart gave out under his fingertips.
For a second, he forgot how to breathe, fingers numb and frozen, his control fleeing the building in a dead sprint. Luckily however, instinct kicked in readily enough, and he dropped Wei Ying's hand only to try and mirror what he had seen Wen Qing do during the operation by pressing down on Wei Ying's chest in a swift, rhythmic manner.
"Lady Wen! Quickly!" he yelled, his deep voice carrying through the big house, and her hurried footsteps were not far behind his shouting.
"Oh shit-", she whispered, before sliding next to him. Wangji quickly scooted aside, not caring about being the one to do it, as he knew that she was the expert at this and everything related to it.
It took too long. Longer than last time.
When Wen Qing finally sat back, shoulders heaving from exhaustion, and Wei Ying's chest slowly and slightly moving with breath again, she had tears in her eyes.
"That was close. Feed him some energy if you can. I know it doesn't really help, but...I'd prefer it to not doing anything. I'll...I'll go get some medicine. And Sect Leaeder Jiang."
If there was a slight interruption in the noises from the kitchen, interloped with a muffled sob, Wangji did not comment. All he could do was cling to Wei Ying's hand and hope for the famed impossible.
~~
So when their best case scenario actually came true, Wangji was counting himself the luckiest man in the world. When Wei Ying's beautiful grey eyes looked at him again and when that brilliant smile graced his vision, Lan Wangji felt like the sun had parted the clouds for the first time in weeks.
The war might have been over days ago, but now Wei Ying was awake .
Wangji would have said nothing was more beautiful, more fulfilling, but then he had not anticipated for this to happen.
This being Wei Ying's lips on his.
This being Wei Ying kissing him.
"Wei Ying", he could not help but whisper, breathless, before he stopped holding himself back and tilting his head to get better access. Access to...Wei Ying's soft lips-
-he suddenly understood why Wei Ying had questioned reality.
"Lan Zhan", the tone Wei Ying used was teasing, but ended in something that could almost be called a moan, and Wangji was sure that he could practically feel his brain short circuit.
Wangji's fingers dug into the fabric of Wei Ying's night shirt, which was really just his inmost layer with nothing but his trousers underneath, and he tried not to think about that. Of course, in that, he was most definitely unsuccessful. His other hand came up to cradle Wei Ying's jaw, and he could feel Wei Ying's own hands on him as if they were made of hot metal, the point of contact burning through his many layers into his skin something pleasant.
Again, he opened his lips to brush against Wei Ying's, by now they were not that dry anymore and rather soft, pliant and more than pleasant. Wangji felt his breath pick up speed, become heavy against the sudden feeling of heat against him and inside him, and he squeezed his hand around Wei Ying's waist-
"Ah-"
Wei Ying flinched, drawing back only a little, and with it, he brought down Wangji's awareness of their situation and also of the fact that Wei Ying was still very much heavily injured and not at all well yet.
"Wei Ying." he breathed, unable to make himself withdraw completely, but his hands were hovering now, not certain which contact had hurt Wei Ying.
"It's fine. I'm good, let's -"
"No. Wei Ying was supposed to rest.", Wangji interrupted him. He realized that he had ignored the rule against interrupting quite often today, and that mainly against Wei Ying, but he could not let him strain himself, not after all he'd been through to get to this point, not after Wangji had just gotten him back. What he could also not stand was Wei Ying letting his thoughts and sentences spiral in an unacceptable direction, so maybe in this case, interrupting could be forgiven.
Wei Ying gave a groan, and it vibrated through him even at the now rather subtle point of contact they shared. Wangji had to take a deep breath to keep himself from doing something he probably should not be.
"Lan Zhaaan. How can you make me lie down after that ? My first kiss stolen by the honorable second Jade!" he dramatically swooned backwards a little and if Wangji caught him by the waist to keep him from dropping too hard, that was completely for Wei Ying's own protection and not because he purely enjoyed how well his hand fit there.
"You were tired.", Wangji reminded him of the way he had yawned and insisted on resting, on the reason that his siblings and the Wens had left the room.
"Yeah but that was before you allowed me to-" he stopped, a sudden frown on his forehead. With a swallow, one of his fingers drew circles on Wangji's shoulder, as if he was suddenly nervous. "Lan Zhan, why did you let me do that? I know you don't like being touched..." Wei Ying's tongue was wetting his lips and Wangji was already missing the taste of him on his own. "You shouldn't let me do things just because I almost died or something."
"I wanted to. It is alright with Wei Ying.", as if to drive his point home, Wangji lifted his own hand to stroke his fingers over Wei Ying's pronounced cheekbone, the arch of his dark brow, the shape around his beautiful eyes. Just as Wangji had, Wei Ying leaned into it and a soft smile graced his lips. He kissed Wangji's palm, and the normally so stoic second Jade had to take a deep breath and swallow to school his expression.
"Well then, that's good to know.", Wei Ying whispered, just loud enough to hear. His hand lifted to entwine their fingers again and Wangji suppressed a shudder, trying to replace the image of their entwined hands covered in blood, with this one, where Wei Ying was whole and on his path to healthy. Not suffering and close to death. "Is that a promise for more at a later point, then?", asked Wei Ying, his eyes dark and something sparked in Wangji's gut that he did not have the capacity to unravel right now.
"Yes. After Wei Ying has rested." his lips twitched into a smile, then, and he lifted their hands to press a small kiss to Wei Ying's knuckles. It pleased him to see those grey eyes widen and feel his lovely cheeks heating under his very touch.
"That's a very compelling argument, then.", Wei Ying winked at him, and he finally separated them with another long look into Wangji's eyes, after one last short kiss to his palm. "I will do as the doctor asked. Well. More like as my zhiji requested. If I’m even getting a Lan Zhan smile." the teasing grin was certainly not lost on Wangji, as was the first time that Wei Ying had called them his zhiji since...probably before the war started.
"Mn.", was all he could say to that without starting back at the start and drawing Wei Ying into another kiss. He had missed this so much. To think that not that long ago, Wei Ying had returned to them with tortured eyes and haunted expressions, resentment clinging to him like mist to a lake's surface. His warm smile now as he adjusted the sheets around him and his voice calling him zhiji again...Wangji felt his eyes prick with tears, and for the first time in a long time it was because he was just so relieved.
"I'm glad Wei Ying is alright.", he admitted into the air between them. It was an understatement, of course. He wasn's so much glad as he felt as if a boulder was lifted from his shoulders and he could finally breathe again. He took Wei Ying's hand back into his as soon as he was settled on his back without having agitated his wounds too much in the process.
This time the contact was not to control his pulse, just simply for the pleasure of holding Wei Ying's hand in his. Wei Ying smiled at him, stroked his thumb over his palm and pressed them together lightly before adjusting his position so he could close his eyes.
"I'm glad to be back", Wei Ying's voice was already quieter than before, his eyelids drooping adorably until finally, he seemed to drift into a light slumber.
~~
"Is he finally asleep?", asked the quiet voice of Lady Wen from the kitchen area. Wangji held his own flinch back at the realization that she had been this close. Had she been able to hear their conversation? He dared not ask, but the short glance to their joined hands made him think that it was a possibility. "Here, when he wakes, give him this."
"Mn. Thank you.", he said, feeling his ears heat. Wen Qing lifted an eyebrow but had her own smirk on her face very soon after.
"Don't thank me, you'll be the one to get him to actually drink all of it. I'm pretty sure he'll take it better from you than from me though, so." she shrugged, and she did not wink, but her expression was still knowing enough. Finally, she sighed and shook her head before turning around. "Make sure you state your intentions clearly, you should know by now how prone to misinterpretation he is.", she warned before she was out of sight again.
Wangji knew that his face was on fire, but he did not move an inch from his position, just soothingly drew circles in Wei Ying's hand to calm himself.
~~
Sitting with Wei Ying while he rested was a quiet matter, until Jiang Wanyin returned. The sect leader sat somewhere close by, judging by the ruffling of fabric Wangji heard. He himself had not moved from his position, only adjusted his seating so he was in the lotus pose, Wei Ying's hand still in his, but no finger on his pulse. Sometimes he found himself twitching towards it, still afraid that it would give out once again. But the habit finally kicked itself out after a while, and he resulted to meditating.
"Wow, you got him to actually sleep? He has to be more exhausted than we thought.", Jiang Wanyin commented. Wangji opened his eyes and looked over to where the voice came from, found the other cleaning his sword methodically but relatively calmly. Just like Wangji, Jiang Wanyin had been more than just 'glad' that his brother woke up. They weren't close, but over the last weeks, Wangji had learned to read the other's expressions, look past the often prominent anger.
"Mn.", he replied. "It took persuasion.", he admitted, and tried to keep the hint of red on his ears from forming. Instead, he wet his lips for the probably hundredth time that hour and told himself that what he tasted was definitely still Wei Ying.
Jiang Wanyin only nodded, but didn't continue the conversation, just kept cleaning.
"They're talking about doing the banquet in the main hall of the palace.", he finally said, meeting his eyes again. Wangji felt his eyebrows rise up, knew that the judgement for this course of action was written all over his face.
"Hah! That's what I said. Sect Leader Nie was of the opinion we should return to the Unclean Realm and I agreed." he shrugged. "I guess we're at an impasse. Just like with the whole Chief Cultivator thing." he shook his head and stared at Sandu as if it was offending him instead of the politic matters of the war council. Well, post-war council, Wangji guessed. Still...
The chief cultivator issue was something his brother had also confided to Wangji. They had talked about it at length, had debated who it should be next. Jin Zixuan was just ascended to Sect Leader and thought too inexperienced. Jiang Wanyin himself was barely even of age, making the whole chief cultivator thing a bit too much, especially since Lotus Pier was still in ruins and in need of reconstruction. That left only two great sects and their leaders, Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen. Wangji knew that Xichen was not inclined to look for more responsibility like that and even though Nie Mingjue was qualified and an experienced leader, well liked by the commoners and widely seen as the champion of the campaign, he was not especially warm to having to inherit this position from Wen Ruohan of all people.
"I'm starting to hate these meetings. At least we're getting somewhere with the whole cleanup thing.", Jiang Wanyin continued. Wangji briefly wondered why he was telling him these things, of all people, when he realized that the Jiang Sect Leader had wound himself up to reach a specific point, and that this point was coming now. "Nie Mingjue said Wei Wuxian is the true hero and that's why we should wait until he can attend the banquet. There's no way we'll be able to fly to the Unclean Realm with all these injured, Nie Mingjue is still hurt himself, so we finally settled on doing the banquet here anyway." he pressed his lips together and nodded towards his brother.
"Lan Wangji, can I count on you to keep him from doing anything stupid during that whole ordeal? Like, I don't know, trying to drink or straight up offend one of the other sects." he drew a hand over his face, the one that wasn't holding his sword and had put down the rag he polished it with. "Heaven knows he's not listening to me. A-Jie is there, of course, but so is the peacock, so who knows if she'll be anywhere close. And then there's the matter of the Wen siblings..." he looked up when Wen Qing indeed came over in this second, and she glanced at him, nodding in acknowledgement.
"There's a banquet?", Wen Qing asked. She had obviously been very busy and not been concerned with petty matters like banquet planning. Jiang Wanyin nodded and scrambled up, almost failing to set down his sword properly.
"Yes. To celebrate the end of the fighting now that the cleanup is almost finished. I would like to ask Lady Wen if she would be so inclined to attend with me." he bowed appropriately deeply, and Wen Qing froze where she stood.
Suddenly Wangji was not sure if he was supposed to be here for this particular conversation.
"Thank you for asking. I'm..." she hesitated, then sighed. "I would actually love to have a break. But whenever I step out of the healing quarters or this house for that matter, I feel like I'll be dragged to the next prison cell if I'm not careful." she gestured down at all of herself. Even if Jiang Yanli took care that both Wen siblings were dressed in neutral, unsuspecting colors, it was still known to most others who they were. It was their name, their clan, their ancestors, after all. The other cultivation sects were not as generous as the Jiangs with their tolerance towards her and her brother. Jiang Wanyin seemed aware of this and lifted himself from the bow. It made their height difference suddenly starkly obvious.
"I guarantee that you will not be harmed. Wen Qionglin may also come." he offered. This had clearly been something he had thought about for quite some time. Finally, Wen Qing nodded, herself bowing in his direction.
"Then I will endeavor this banquet with you, Sect Leader Jiang. Thank you for the invitation."
With those words, she set down what she had come to bring next to the other medicine by Wei Ying's bed, then she was out of the room again. A silence followed that was filled with Jiang Wanyin smiling almost warmly, gazing after her.
"I will do my best.", Wangji interrupted the silence, causing Jiang Wanyin to suddenly jump as if he'd forgotten that someone else was in the room.
"What?" Jiang Wanyin breathed, blinking at him.
"With keeping Wei Ying from trouble.", Wangji clarified, trying not to look as amused as he felt at Jiang Wanyin's obvious inattention.
"Right…right. Thank you." Jiang Wanyin lowly bowed to him, then flexed his hands as if thinking about what to do next. Finally, he picked up his sword and left the room.
"Was that Jiang Cheng?", asked Wei Ying's sleepy voice from the bed after a few moments of silence. "I thought I heard him."
"Yes. He asked Lady Wen to the banquet.", Wangji explained. Wei Ying’s expression derailed dramatically.
"Ayaaa what??! Jiang Cheng has a date?!" Wei Ying was shooting up from the mattress before Wangji could stop him, only to almost topple over from moving so suddenly. "Ouch ouch ouch damn it. Lan Zhaaaan. I can't have my little brother have a date before me, that's forbidden!"
Wangji pressed down the urge to snort, keeping his face impassive as he soothed Wei Ying into a more comfortable sitting position against a few pillows. He would have urged him to sleep some more, but he seemed awake enough now, and it had been a few hours of rest at least.
"I had assumed that we were going together?", he did not know where his sudden brash behavior and cheeky comments came from, but that kiss had given him such a boost of adrenaline and confidence that he was just trying to ride it as far as it carried him.
The response was about what he had hoped for. Wei Ying stared, blinked, then blood rushed into his face before he burred it into his hands. This made him let go of Wangji's hand, but he let it happen, it was adorable enough to suffer the loss of contact.
"Lan Zhan, stars above, you can't do that!"
"Do what?" he knew he was smiling, but he had no shame throwing back a tiny amount of tease at Wei Ying when he had been the one doing it to him for so long.
"Just..." he gestured to all of Wangji, sighing deeply. Then he finally seemed to gather himself and bowed his head in an imitation of a formal bow. Since he could probably not lift his arms yet without hurting himself, Wangji was glad that he didn't attempt to do so. "I formally accept Hanguang-Jun's generous invitation, then."
His smile was no longer held back, he instead leaned forward to help Wei Ying back up and stroked a few loose strands behind his ear that had fled his loose braid while he slept.
"I thank Wei Ying for his acceptance and look forward to the evening."
"Ah, I didn't hear the full thing, which evening are we talking about, exactly?" he rubbed his neck and Wangji snorted.
"In three days time."
"So I have a bit of time to be back on my feet, got it." Wei Ying nodded. As that was settled, his smile suddenly turned wicked, his hand finding Wangji's again, pulling him closer with a gentle tug. "Lan Zhan. You promised something..." he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Shameless...", Wangji muttered, but he leaned forward regardless, cupping Wei Ying's cheek in his and brushing his lips against Wei Ying's.
They enjoyed this moment for a few precious seconds, just gentle touches and Wei Ying's sleepily being coaxed into properly waking. One could think that after the first kiss, the novelty thrill of it making his heart soar would lessen, would become routine in some way, but he could feel it hammering in his rib cage even more than before, felt like flying through the clouds once more.
"So." Wei Ying finally interrupted, drawing back slightly. Wangji opened his eyes slowly, savoring the feeling, before he returned Wei Ying's quizzical gaze. "I mean, I'm enjoying this very much, but..." Wei Ying swallowed, wetting his lips with his tongue. If Wangji had thought that his desire to touch Wei Ying would calm down in the eventual scenario that he was allowed to, he had definitely been wrong. He wanted to sway forward and try out the feeling of that tongue against his more badly than he had desired for anything for a while . But Wei Ying was unsure about something, so he waited, tried to meet his gaze and not look anywhere else.
"I mean, I guess we've established that you don't hate me anymore and that you're definitely glad that I'm not dead, so that's awesome and everything, but..." he hesitated again and Wangji knew that it was time to interfere. This thought spiral was not heading in a healthy direction, now, was it?
"I never hated Wei Ying." he clarified, grasping one of his hands and carefully tugging a strand of hair behind his ear again with the other, where it had stubbornly escaped once more. "Never."
"Really? Are you sure ? Not even when I smuggled wine into Cloud Reccess ooor when you told me to piss off because I replaced your poems with porn, or-" he was interrupted by Wangji's fingers over his lips.
"No. Never.", he took a deep breath, taking the hand away. It was a testament to Wei Ying that he patiently waited for Wangji to find the words instead of rambling on. Wen Qing's reminder was sharp in his mind, but he would have known without it, knew it was time. If he did not do it now, he would never do it at all.
"I love you, Wei Ying. I have loved you for a long time. I know that I am not the best at showing it and I regret this deeply. But if you'll let me, I will endeavor to let you know it with everything I have in the future.", he said, and forced himself to keep his eyes on Wei Ying, on his reaction.
"You l-love me?" Wei Ying stammered, blinking, his cheeks deeply flushed, and it was spreading to the rest of his face very quickly. Lan Wangji could do nothing but swallow and nod, for a second not able to look into his beautiful grey eyes. The stinging potential of a rejection was too sharp to not make him nervous about Wei Ying's answer, even with the reassurance of their kisses, such intense feelings hadn’t been on the table before.
"Well then.", Wei Ying chuckled, and it sounded wet. Lan Wangji quickly lifted his gaze to find that Wei Ying was crying. His anxiety quickly stirred into panic. He'd made Wei Ying cry! That was worse than rejection, every trace of liquid a stab to his heart.
"Wei Ying!" he hastily stroked the tears away with his thumb, brow creasing in worry. Wei Ying didn't even seem to realize that the tears were running down his cheeks when he suddenly broke out into a smile as bright as the sun shining outside the window, and then he laughed.
"Oh Lan Wangji, Hanguang-Jun, Lan-er-gonzi." his smile turned more gentle, and he pressed his fingers where he was still holding the hand that was not stroking his face. "My Lan Zhan. Of course I love you, too."
Lan Wangji had to brace himself against something so he would not simply soar away into the sky, his elation making him float free. He knew that he was smiling himself when Wei Ying gasped, staring at him and drawing his fingers over the shape of his curved lips.
"You're smiling." he whispered, his own grin only widening.
"So are you.", Lan Wangji returned, just as stunned, just as unable to hold it all in any longer. He wanted to drown in Wei Ying, just hold him, taste him, everything. To just never let go again.
Their next kiss would have lasted far longer and turned into far more than it probably should, had Wen Qing not walked in on them.
~~
Wei Ying's rehabilitation was a long process. Wen Qing did not get tired of reminding them that Wei Ying had time and should not rush, but Wei Ying's frustration was still imminent as the next three days went on.
Walking was not on the table until Wei Ying could properly sit without assistance, and that was preceded by far too many exercises, medicines and various other regiments.
"You can be glad that you're even back on your feet at all after what you went through.", Wen Qing reminded him with a set jaw. Wangji watched the two of them bicker while he played the guqin for Wei Ying, a soothing melody to help him meditate on his new core. When Wei Ying and Lady Wen started arguing, he stopped the strings with the palm of his hand.
"I know, I know. Still, don't have to rub it in, do you, Qing-Jie?" Wangji's eyebrows rose at the new nickname, but he was not surprised. Wei Ying threw around affectionate terms like this all the time. Mostly to tease and coax a reaction, but also because most of the time, he meant it genuinely. What did surprise him a little was Wen Qing's reaction. She just huffed and pinched his shoulder.
"Jie, am I now? Well if I'm your sister then you better listen. I did not stitch you back together for you to ruin it all because you have to rush to some banquet that you probably want to flee from an hour in. If you can't go, they'll have to deal with it.", she declared. It was indeed still quite hard for Wei Ying to walk long distances without breaking out in sweat and clinging to the nearest wall.
"I can! I'm just going to sit and eat, it's not that bad!", he protested. Wangji sighed, and Wei Ying pointed at him. "I promised Lan Zhan I'd go with him!"
"Wei Ying.", Wangji warned, huffing through his nose. He did not want to be used to justify Wei Ying's risky behavior. Apparently, his short reprimand worked, because Wei Ying grunted in frustration, hitting one of his legs.
"I know, Lan Zhan, you don't want me hurting myself. Alright. Let's..." he buried his head in his hands again and Wangji decided that he needed to do something, anything, to make Wei Ying's frustration disappear. He got up, knelt before him and took hold of his wrists, gently guiding them away from his face.
"Nobody will judge you for resting appropriately. Many people were hurt."
"But I really do want to go." Wei Ying's frustrated pout hit him like a carriage at full speed. Panicked for a solution, he looked over at Wen Qing. She returned the gaze, sighed deeply and then massaged the bridge of her nose.
"A-Xian", Jiang Yanli spoke up from where she had sat at the table, sorting through her extensive notes and bringing them in a semblance of order. "They were waiting to hold the banquet for you . If you are not fit enough yet, I will ask A-Cheng to bring it up, and it can be moved. It is to celebrate the victory you achieved together, is it not?" she smiled her gracious, gentle smile, and Wei Ying only needed a moment to think before he nodded. Wen Qing sighed deeply, clearly in exasperation, and conceded. Wangji was glad that these two were in Wei Ying’s support team, as they both knew him on a level Wangji could not quite call his own yet. Wasn’t that something to look forward to learning?
"Alright. If you are feeling better tomorrow, I will allow it. But only if that is the case!" Wen Qing held up her finger in a warning.
"Your Jiejies order it so", Jiang Yanli said, snickering. She clearly had no problem sharing the title of big sister with Wen Qing. Wei Ying however, blushed, and his face made a complicated twist, before he beamed, covering it up as quickly as it appeared. Wangji inwardly asked himself what that was all about.
"Deal! Thank you, Qing-Jie, Shijie. I'll make sure to not ruin your and Jiang Cheng's date then."
Jiang Yanli's smile fell slightly, but it was still there, and she shook her head before returning to her notes.
Wei Ying's giggling did not stop when Wen Qing punched him in the shoulder.
~~
The evening of the banquet arrived and Wei Ying was walking up the stairs of the palace next to him. There was a formal procession going on, meaning that the clans were all announced upon entering and Wangji had to step back to wait for his brother and their entourage to arrive.
"See you inside.", Wei Ying gave him a charming smile and a wink, pressing their hands together and squeezing before letting go and joining arms with his sister instead. It was barely visible from the outside, but Wangji knew that he was only doing it to partly support himself. Jiang Yanli knew this, and her grip on her brother was firm. She patted his fingers around her arm and shot Wangji an encouraging smile before the shadows of the doors swallowed them from sight.
It was eerie, standing up these steps, after he'd seen the surface drenched in Wei Ying's blood. He looked over to the spot where he had fallen, where Wangji himself had knelt and wept, pleading for Wei Ying to stay awake.
He was all too glad when Xiongzhang arrived.
"Wangji. I trust you are well?" he asked, stopping an arms length away.
"Mn.", Wangji nodded affirmatively, shaking off the dreadful feeling as best he could.
"And Wei-gonzi?", Xichen asked, quieter.
"Better every day.", that was true, at least.
Wei Ying was definitely on the mend, and Wangji felt his muscles relax more every day Wei Ying got back a small step towards normalcy. Yesterday evening they had played a duet for the first time, and he was still kind of riding on that feeling of musical unity today. Of course, Wei Ying couldn't really use spiritual energy yet, but it had been joyful and heartwarming nonetheless.
"I see. That is good to hear. Come on, it's our turn to go.", Xichen gently hovered with his hand on his shoulder, not quite touching, just guiding his brother around, and they entered the hall themselves.
"Zewu-Jun and Hanguang-Jun have arrived!", the announcer bellowed, and Wangji took the spot a little to the left and behind his brother.
They bowed to the others, the representatives lined up in the front, and Wangji instantly looked for the Jiang contingent. They were at the left of the hall, middle seats. Wei Ying was dutifully seated next to his siblings, his head leaning on his hands in apparent exhaustion. As soon as he noticed Wangji, a smile ghosted his lips and he sat up straighter, waving without being subtle about it. Wangji nodded at him, holding in the smile forming on his lips as good as he could, but Wei Ying just winked at him anyway.
"Welcome. Please take your seats.", Jin Ziyao greeted them, shooting Xichen an especially warm glance. As far as Wangji knew, he had been a big part of the planning of this banquet and had proven himself a valuable asset in organization in general. Jin Zixuan had run himself ragged during the cleanup after the battle, obviously feeling like he had to make up for the fact that his father's reinforcements had been coming in so late. Also, to throw a good light on his own fresh leadership, probably. Wangji huffed inwardly, not wanting to think further on sect politics, and bowed back before immediately turning to find his seat next to Wei Ying, glad that his companion had been moved to his brother's left side instead of next to his sister. It was unusual to be seated closer to the front than the sect leader, but he had after all been the one to end the war, so it had been considered an exception.
"Wei Ying." Wangji frowned upon seeing that the sheen of sweat he had spotted from afar was way more visible upon closer inspection, and that Wei Ying was squirming in his seat.
"I'm okay." came Wei Ying's protest, but he did not look it. Wangji grit his teeth, feeling his stomach drop with worry. Looking over to Wen Qing, who was sitting behind Jiang Wanyin, he tried to catch her gaze. The Jiangs had not brought many of their soldiers, as they were not many of high standing left, so Wen Qionglin and Wen Qing filled two of the seats. Wangji already noticed stares and whispers filling the hall all around, and he knew that rumors were already forming.
"Here, A-Xian, sit on this.", Jiang Yanli arrived with a pillow, her brow showing her worry as much as Wangji felt. "If it gets too bad, please tell one of us, and we'll leave, yeah?" she knelt and helped Wei Ying shift forwards, so she could position the pillow. Wangji hurriedly assisted her in doing so and nodded to her as a sign that he would take care of it while she took her seat beside her brother.
The banquet began with each sect leader giving a short speech to the others. Nobody was sitting in Wen Ruohan's throne, thankfully, all of them just situated in front of their entourage, facing each other. Since no new chief cultivator was elected yet, nobody dared to take this front seat.
"Nie Mingjue didn't want the first class seat?", Wei Ying asked. He wiped his brow with his sleeve, the fine fabric barely absorbing it. Wangji didn't really have time to admire his robes when they left. While he himself was wearing mostly white with a blue lace over robe, Wei Ying had an outfit on that he had not seen him wear before. It had a red under robe with black over it, as well as purple accents laced into the lapel. Additionally, it donned a kind of cape hanging off his back, which matched Jiang Wanyin's robes, except that of course that the Jiang sect leader was draped completely in purple.
"He refused. He also does not want to be chief cultivator. It's been a long debate.", Wangji explained. Since it was not a topic that Wangji liked to dwell on, he had not tried to broach it much with Wei Ying in the last days. While Wei Ying certainly knew his way around politics and sect matters, he did not really care about them, either. But maybe due to the war they all kind of knew more than they ever wanted, Wangji supposed.
"I see. Well, can't blame him." Wei Ying took as deep a breath as he could. The function of his lungs was still one of the harshest things to rehabilitate. Since the blade had pierced through one of them, even with a core and Wen Qing as his physician, it was taking considerable time to heal and would still, after they left here. “New Chief Cultivator, huh…” he seemed to think on this for a second. “Maybe we should stuff giving one person all that power.” he sighed, and Wangji could see his clear desire to lean back, lie on the floor and just breathe more freely. He shot him a slight glare to make him refrain from doing so, and it drew out another sigh. The point stood though…Wangji filed this away in his mind to bring up with his brother later.
As the next sect leader stood to give a speech, Wei Ying seemed to have enough of speeches. Wangji found himself silently agreeing with him.
"When's the food coming? I'm starving." Wei Ying grinned at him and Wangji lifted an eyebrow. In all honesty, Wei Ying was eating way too little in the last few days. Wen Qing had assured Wangji that it was normal, that appetite needed to be built back up slowly, especially since Wei Ying still did not tolerate meat, but it still worried Wangji as well as Wei Ying's siblings.
"Soon. Here." he handed Wei Ying a cup of tea, which he took with a deep, dramatic sigh.
"Wish this was wine." after a reprimanding gaze from Wangji, he threw up his free hand "I know, I know. Damn, Lan Zhan, a man can't enjoy even the thought?" but his tone was still playful, his tongue sticking out at Wangji. Heavens, how he wished he could capture that tongue and bite his lips playfully as a tease. But no, they were in public. They had been careful not to exchange kisses or overt touches where Wei Ying's siblings could see, but Wangji had already said that he was going to talk to Jiang Wanyin about this soon. Well, he had thought it. To be fair, he had not been truly alone with Wei Ying to have a talk about the future past this banquet. It was one of the things worrying him.
"I just...I just want this to be over. I want to go home.", Wei Ying mumbled. Wangji agreed, he did also want to return to familiar surroundings, wanted to not be surrounded by death and the scenery of the war front any longer. But Wei Ying was here, and when they departed for home, Wangji didn't know when they were going to see each other once more, and that thought scared him. Ever since Wei Ying was starting to feel better with each day, that crumb of worry was residing in the back of his mind.
"Mn.", Wangji nodded. Then, because he knew that he had to work on his communication, he added. "I will miss Wei Ying."
At this, Wei Ying's eyes widened, and he whirled towards him a bit, not enough to aggravate his wounds but enough to look him in the eyes. The speeches of the sect leaders went on without them listening to a single word.
"Lan Zhan! Of course, you have to return to Cloud Recess, right?" he sighed, drawing his hand over his face. Since his hair was in a tight updo, he could not draw it through that, and this seemed to temporarily frustrate him further. "Will you visit Lotus Pier, then? I know you didn't want when I last offered, but I thought..."
"Of course. As soon as I am able.", Wangji nodded. Wei Ying smiled again, but it was strained, as if for the first time he had also realized that they were going to have to separate. The thought made Wangji clench his teeth again, because he had been glued to Wei Ying's side ever since the battle, and the thought of not having him where he could see him anymore-
"And of course we would not be here if not for Wei Wuxian.", Nie Mingjue's voice rang over the others in the hall, his voice more prominent and sure than all other sect leaders. Wei Ying blinked when all eyes were suddenly on him. As if unsure how to react, he lifted an arm in a wave, adorably smiling. Nie Mingjue continued. "I may have stabbed Wen Ruohan, but he turned his armies back on him and kept the Yin Iron in check. We would not be standing in this hall today if not for him."
"But his methods!" Sect Leader Yao bellowed out from their right. Wangji felt hands ball into fists at his side. “I heard he razed a whole army in minutes. How can you condone this in our midst!”
"There are still Wens among us!" Sect Leader Ouyang pointed to Wen Qing and Wen Ning, who both tensed visibly. They had already been getting permanent stares ever since they had entered the hall, but nobody had dared to say anything - at least not out loud. Of course these two would say something. The Ouyang sect had been a help in the war, but not at the main front, and the Yao sect had been almost wiped out by the Wen before the attack on Lotus Pier.
"His methods don't matter-" Nie Mingjue started, but was promptly drowned out by another shout.
"Of course they do! What if he corrupts the youth! Or us!" Jin Zixun was yelling, the deepest conspiracy theories that had been circeling at the top of his lungs and all Wangji wanted to do was silence him forcefully by any means nesessary. He had never liked this guy, nor many of the Jins. But he grit his teeth and refrained, when his brother shot him a warning glance from his left. “He could decide he doesn’t like us and just kill us all!”
"These Wens are probably plotting to overtake nightless city as soon as we relax our guard! They’re hiding in the same sect as him! Who’s saying he doesn’t have Wen Ruohan’s Yin Iron still on him?!" Sect Leader Ouyang agreed, and another minor sect leader threw his fist into the air.
"Let's take care of them right now!" he nodded, and already reached for his sword on the table.
"You will not touch them!" Wei Ying was suddenly on his feet, body tense, Chenqing in his hand. Wangji didn't even know where he had hidden it, but now it was raised towards Sect Leader Ouyang. Quickly, Wangji stepped forward, settling a hand on Wei Ying's to calm him and subtly putting the other hand through his waist band to support him. He was breathing heavily and shaking from exhaustion as well as rage.
"Look, he's already influencing Hanguang-Jun!" Sect Leader Yao was outraged at the prospect, and Wangji drew his eyebrows together and only held onto Wei Ying tighter.
"I heard he shoved Hanguang-Jun to be stabbed but got stabbed instead-" Jin Zixun threw in, a wicked grin on his face at the gasps in reaction to this. No, this was not true, it was getting out of hand-
"SILENCE!", Nie Mingjue's voice bellowed through the hall, Baxia was rattling in its sheath on this back. "You are not debasing the man who saved your lives because of some raunchy rumors!" The Nie sect leader shook his head and glared at them until they finally looked down. “The Yin Iron was destroyed. Me, Hanguang-Jun and Jin Ziyao saw it implode up close. There is no more tyger seal and so you don’t have to fret over anybody using such metals to raise anything harmful or even attack anyone.”
“Wei Ying was stabbed shielding me.”, Wangji spoke up, glaring down Jin Zixun with his best icicle glance. It made a shiver go up his spine when the room turned to him collectively, when all attention, all eyes, focused solely on him. He hated it, but it needed to happen.
“Lan Zhan-” but Wei Ying fell silent when Wangji shook his head minutely. He wanted to say this where they could all hear, so there would be no more doubt.
“He did what needed to be done. He saved all of your lives and almost died for it, too. This war is over because of him. Do you dare accuse me of lying, did you not see or feel the battle turning and the ground shaking from the explosion that day?” he huffed, and several people looked ashamed, at probably having even thought to agree with the people spreading these nasty words. He stepped forward a bit while still keeping his grip on Wei Ying. Wei Ying’s eyes were definitely on him, burning holes into the back of his head, but he tried not to meet his eyes, did not know if he could continue talking, then.
“So I advise you to keep your mouth shut on matters you have no knowledge about.” he may be sneering, and the widening of Jin Zixun’s eyes at his words, how pale he suddenly turned, was absolutely worth it. Wei Ying’s fingers carded between his, squeezing, and Wangji felt his pulse calm at the gesture, just as the room was stunned into shameful silence.
"Zixun, sit down.", Jin Zixuan hissed forcefully, glaring at his cousin. The guy seemed aghast at being put down so formlessly, but huffed and complied, but not without a good glare at Wei Ying. Lan Wangji swore to himself that he would keep an eye on this person, and keep him as far away from Wei Ying as humanly possible.
Nie Mingjue, after nobody had the courage to add anything, finally continued.
"As for the matter of the remaining Wens..." he looked at Jiang Wanyin, who nodded and rose to his feet. They had apparently planned this, in some way. Wei Ying was still breathing heavily, not daring to sit, even though Wangji tried to guide him back to his seat.
"Honored Sect Leaders. After thorough questioning for the remaining Wen in Nightless City and its surrounding provinces, we have sorted out which of them were loyal to Wen Ruohan and which were not. It is now clear to us which soldiers fought because they wanted to and which were forced. The Jiang Sect will offer refuge to the Dafan Wen, a branch of the family that specializes in medicine and which Wen Qing and Wen Qionglin are a part of."
The hall erupted into even more noise.
"Jiang Cheng..." Wei Ying whispered next to him, obviously surprised by this. Wangji himself was not really that astonished, he had heard Wen Qing and Jiang Wanyin talk in the last few days, but to Wei Ying it was probably new information. He seemed obviously pleased by it though.
"The Jiang were decimated by the Wen! How can you let them into your home?!", Sect Leader Ouyang rose his voice again. His bushy eyebrows were drawn together in displeasure, and his frankly ugly beard bristled in protest.
"Your father would be ashamed of you-" Sect Leader Yao did not get any further.
"My FATHER" Jiang Wanyin yelled, obviously tired of people talking over him and raising his voice. It boomed almost as loudly as Nie Mingjue's had, though it was not as deep. "has been long avenged by the death of the Quishan Wen as well as Wen Zhuliu. He would be honored to help people that have saved his children's lives during the war. They were hunted by Wen Chao just as much as we were. I will not be hearing further slight against them and their family. Same goes for my brother." he had a final tone in his voice that Wangji was surprised, almost impressed, by. The quick glance he exchanged with Yanli told him that they must have prepared for this together. "As for the other Wens, we as the great sects have agreed to divide them up between us to help rebuilt the damage done to our sects. Details can be discussed further later. This is a celebration to the end of the war, not a discussion conference." with that, he gracefully reseated himself, stuffing his fists into his sleeves and glaring at everyone who seemed to want to open their mouths next.
"Thank you, Sect Leader Jiang. I think we can all agree that we came her to relax, not to debate.", that was Xichen, standing up to placate the outraged sect leaders of the smaller sects. They were all grumbling, whispering between themselves and their men, and seemed generally unsatisfied with this clear cut solution. Wei Ying next to him seemed to relax somewhat, but then Wangji noticed that it was more like he was listing to the side and his grip on his waist solidified.
"Lady Wen!", he hissed, guiding Wei Ying back down towards his pillow and checking his forehead. He wasn't burning up, but certainly warmer than usual, with sweat sticking to his forehead again.
"I told you to keep to your seat!" Wen Qing hissed, hurrying over to them and kneeling.
"You're coming to Lotus Pier..." Wei Ying smiled at her, but didn't stop her from checking him over.
"We are. It's not really an offer we can refuse right now." that was probably true. Wangji scooted over a bit to give her space to check Wei Ying's bandages. "Or want to.", she added with an almost warm smile, dropping her own hand to his forehead. "He'll be okay, but you should probably leave as soon as he's eaten a few bites."
"I'm good."
"You're not good, I said you would be okay. But that means food and then rest. Understood?"
"Yes, mam, Qing-Jie, M'Lady." Wei Ying winked at her, and she rolled her eyes, slapping his shoulder. He winced, exaggeratedly, and clutched at the offending spot, drawing into Wangji and burying his head in his shoulder. Warmth spread in his chest at the familiar way they interacted and how Wei Ying readily searched for his affection without question now. He knew that they probably drew several stares and that rumors about Wei Ying were not helped by this, but he did not care. His brother was drawing the most attention right now, talking about the other clean-up efforts and the varying successes they had born.
Wei Ying did actually listen to Wen Qing’s instructions after this, he was seated on his pillow and took several healthy bites of his food as soon as it was handed out.
"I'm sorry to make you leave so early.", Wei Ying mumbled into his shoulder when they got back to their house after the food had been eaten and most people started to mingle for wine and conversation.
"No apologies needed.", Wangji reminded him. After all, they were generally not needed between them, just as much as thank-you-s.
"I know...still." he sighed deeply, flopping on the bed with as much force as he could without hurting himself further. "This is exhausting.", he complained.
"Your wounds?" he asked, gently letting himself drop on the edge of the bed and drawing the blanket over Wei Ying. "or the rumor mongering sect leaders?"
"Hah! Ahh Lan Zhan, they're all missing out on how hilarious you are, seriously. You can go back if you want to." he rolled to the side, a position that was generally more comfortable for him due to the wounds on his back and front.
"Do not want to", Wangji confirmed. He had no desire at all to get back to those mingling fools when he could be here with Wei Ying.
"Mh....we ARE alone for now..." Wei Ying's smile suddenly turned sly, his eyes dark, and he stretched his hand out to grab Wangji's front of his robes. "And you're all dressed up and pretty today..." he met his eyes. “That speech you gave was really flattering, very brave. I haven’t heard you talk so much in public!” his smile was warm, proud, and Wangji felt a heat spread in his chest, one he tried to ignore, because this was not the time.
"Wei Ying. Rest.", he implored. After all, that was what they had come here for. However, even with this protest, he of course still let himself be dragged and pressed his lips gently to Wei Ying's, brushing them over one another in a gentle rhythm that they had practiced so much in the last days. His fingers played with the purple tassels on Wei Ying's robes, enjoying the feel of the fine fabric under his fingertips, while his other hand drew Wei Ying closer by the waist.
"Mmmh yes, rest. I will do that. How about you help me, mh?"
"Shameless."; he commented, but he did not stop the kisses. Indeed, he let himself go lower, brush his tongue against the exposed skin of Wei Ying's neck, eliciting a delicious moan from Wei Ying. Something twitched in his stomach at the noise, driving him to continue. His hand at Wei Ying's waist wandered further down and back, playfully digging his fingers into the meat there. That was one advantage of Wei Ying lying on his side, he supposed.
"Lan Zhan! You're calling me shameless?" Wei Ying giggled, but returned the tease by nibbling with his teeth on Wangji's ears, which were probably flaming red at this point.
"Wei Wuxian!" a yell behind them interrupted them. "Please tell me I'm not seeing this right now. Ugh, I'm going to throw up."
Wangji almost exploded away from Wei Ying, clearly recognizing the voice of Jiang Wanyin. Wei Ying gave a quiet, dissatisfied moan, but otherwise only blinked in surprise, pressing his lips together and throwing himself back into the mattress.
A giggle, clearly from Jiang Yanli, answered him.
"Uuugh Jiang Cheng! I thought you were at the banquet still for a few hours!"
"Shut up, idiot! I guess it's good that we came to check on you, because this is not something you should be doing before you're married!" he turned on Wangji, Zidian on his hand sparking threateningly. "YOU should know about this, Hanguang-Jun! I'm pretty sure one of your stupid Lan rules-"
"A-Cheng." Jiang Yanli lay a calming hand on her brother's upper arm and Jiang Wanyin took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself like his sister indicated he should. He pinched the bridge of his nose and glared down at his brother, who was glaring back with a daring and definitely shameless expression on his face.
Gods above, he loved this man.
"A-Xian." her tone was reprimanding, slightly exasperated, and with a tilt of her head, Wei Ying's stubborn expression seemed to crumble right from under him.
"Okay! Okay, whatever.", he conceded, raising his hands in defense.
"Don't 'whatever' A-Jie OR me, you know exactly that Lan Qiren and probably the entire Lan Clan will have my head if this happens." Jiang Wanyin pointed between Wei Ying and Wangji himself, lips pressed together and eyebrows in an angry line. From his spot on the floor, Wangji found himself glaring, then carefully lifting himself and brushing off the dust from his white robes.
"As long as brother does not object, I do not care for their opinion." and he knew for a fact that his brother was not opposed at all to him and Wei Ying, knew from many a teasing and questions that his brother had pretty much tried to even push him in this direction. Jiang Wanyin however, only growled.
"Yeah well, that's nice for you and all, but I have to care. If you remember, I just pretty much put my neck over the edge of the frying pan by accepting the Wens into Lotus Pier and I have the feeling they're not going to let Wei Wuxian's whole demonic cultivation thing go any time soon-"
"I will ask brother to submit a formal proposal. If any elders object, they can be swayed and the matter would only concern our two sects, so the other sect's opinions will not matter." he paused, tilting his head slightly. "Is that acceptable to Sect Leader Jiang for the hand of his first disciple?" he bowed low and kept his face perfectly composed.
"Lan Zhan!" Wei Ying gasped. Wangji did not have to look to know that he was beet red. Of course he still did look, lifting out of the formal bow, because the sight brought warmth to his chest. "Don't say things you don't mean!"
"I do mean it. Wei Ying." he leaned down, back to eye height with Wei Ying, who shifted so he sat properly and let Wangji take his hand in his. Jiang Wanyin behind him sounded like he was choking on something. "Will you do me the honor of becoming my husband?"
For a few agonizing seconds, Wei Ying blinked, his lips slightly parted and staring into Wangji's eyes. Then a grin broke out on his face and Wangji felt blinded, it was so bright.
"Yes! Definitely, absolutely, of course!"
Jiang Wanyin had to personally drag them apart from their next kiss.
Notes:
Hah, Jin Zixun. Don't we all just hate that guy x'D.
How'd you like it? You still with me? I wanna say thank you to all of you who always write comments on the chapters, you really are my lifeblood and motivation while I write 😘 I hope you especially had a v nice Christmas day yesterday (or on the 24th, if you celebrate like us in Germany). If you don't celebrate, I just hope you had a nice day regardless and are getting through this winter okay :D.
I gotta say, I understand my friend who said it feels a lil rushed to have them already have marriage proposed after they were together for such a short time BUT. I figured with the whole situation they're in, them pining over each other so long and JC really wanting them to not be indecent before they're married...this is p much the only plausible option imo xDD. Also I know the concept of dating isn't really..around during those days but I just wanted WWX to tease his bro lol. It's more of the 'going together' than being an actual date.
Pls tell me what you think!
Love 🥰Next up: Wen Qing gets to have her family and they settle in at Lotus Pier. There's Chengqing in this chapter! ;D
Chapter 18: How you will heal and you'll rise above
Summary:
Wen Qing has some hard and some not so hard talks. Lotus Pier is a sliver of hope and a silver lining in the cloud that has been the last years of her life. Honestly this is just 'scenes in which Wen Qing slowly gets to heal' lmao.
Notes:
Hello :) Happy New Year, my lovelies!! ❤
Yes, I'm already back with an update! Like I said, I've finished this fic and I'm mainly editing. This and the next chapter are my female badass babes finding peace, and I enjoyed writing it. Chapter 20 will have a wedding that you're probably all actually waiting for (and what happens after 👀).
This chapter felt a bit disjointed while I wrote it because it doesn't really follow a linear storyline and is more a string of moments significant to Wen Qing and doesn't focus much on the bigger picture changes that I made. BUT we get a bit of family and found-family fluff and I think we just deserve that, as a society.
I hope you enjoy! 🥰
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Wen Qing
She really wished that Jiang Wanyin had talked to her about this before the banquet. Well, he had. But it had been so vague that she had not connected the dots this far. To think that he really wanted to shelter her family at Lotus Pier and had planned on saying this in front of everyone ...
"I'm sorry, this was not planned well.", he confessed to her afterwards. They had just stepped out of the room where Wei Wuxian was 'resting' and he sat at the table where she had started to serve tea for them after the banquet. Honestly, she felt like she rather needed a whole bottle of wine, but she was not about to set a bad example for her alcoholic patient, so she refrained. Jiang Yanli sat with them, quietly sorting through notes and herbs, while they talked.
"Indeed." Wen Qing sighed and closed her eyes, seeping in the scent of the tea. Her gaze fixed on him across from her, studying him intently. “Please don’t misunderstand me. But shouldn’t you rather want us all dead? I am Wen Ruohan’s niece. I did not participate in the burning of your home, but I also did not stop it from happening.”
Jiang Wanyin’s lips thinned, and his grip on his tea tightened. With his nose flared like this, she could already see the storm of an outburst coming, but instead he took a deep breath, clenched his jaw, and shook his head. Jiang Yanli had looked up at him, estimating if she needed to intervene, and happily returned to her notes when he calmed down all by himself.
“Well, you see.”, he started, and his voice was more thoughtful than she was used to. “I saw Jin Zixun hunt down some Wens when I went for a walk, and I stopped them, because those were people who didn’t fight back, didn’t even have weapons…” his jaw worked, but he kept going. “Anyway, I brought it up to Jin Zixuan, and he delegated his cousin to library sorting, which I’m sure he loathed. But that’s not the point…” he wet his lips. “This whole war…my mother kept going on how Wei Wuxian shouldn’t have provoked the Wens, how he shouldn’t have provoked Wen Chao. But as this kept going, I kind of realized that it probably didn’t matter, that they would have come for us either way.” he snorted, drawing his hand over his face and took a deep swing of his tea like it was a shot of wine. He probably also wished for something stronger.
“Perhaps. That still doesn’t absolve us of being from the same family. I could be trying to avenge my uncle. Should you not be insisting on not existing on the same earth as your father’s killer? Never mind under the same roof.”
She knew that it was a challenge, that she was digging her own grave by bringing this up at all. However, she would not walk into this deal with it hanging over her head, or that of her family. He had to have thought about this.
Indeed, the glare he shot her was sharp, but not deadly. Rather than getting out his sword and extracting revenge like several societal rules dictated, he straight up rolled his eyes at her. Jiang Yanli shot him a glance, but did not interrupt them.
“Wow. You sound like Nie Mingjue.” Jiang Wanyin snorted. “He asked me the same thing.”
“Am I wrong?”, she raised an eyebrow, pouring another cup of tea for both of them.
“Do you want me to kill you?”, he asked it like it was a casual question about the tea.
“Why aren’t you?”, she was genuinely curious.
“Well, as I was saying” he looked at her as if she had interrupted a grand story. “When I saw Jin Zixun hunting down innocents, I remembered that whole ordeal with him in the Unclean Realm and I talked to Jin Zixuan, and he looked about ready to throw down with his own cousin.” he sounded amused about that, and admittedly, that image was hilarious to imagine. He gestured towards his sister, “Back then A-Jie had the right idea, defending you. You’ve done so much for us in this war, you saved my brother’s life, twice now. So with the way we’ve all been in this house together, I just…” he made a circular movement with his hand and finally sighed. “I thought about what your options were, really, after this. Wherever you go I’ll have Wei Wuxian running off towards that place every month, so might as well have it be home.” he shrugged and huffed as if that was a nuisance, a simple inconvenience quickly solved by just…providing shelter to a whole sect branch of the clan that killed his entire sect. “Also A-Jie said something about the circle of hatred and how she’s still learning under you, and you know how neither me nor Wei Wuxian can say no to her, so. Yeah.” he finally met her gaze again and narrowed his eyes as if uttering a challenge. Jiang Yanli seemed to suppress a smile at this, but still did not utter a word. Her eyes sparkled in something that Wen Qing quickly interpreted as pride. “Why, do you have other plans?”, he finally asked, a challenge in the set of his shoulders.
She honestly could do nothing but laugh, close her eyes and take a deep breath.
"No, I do not, Sect Leader Jiang. I just wanted to make sure you know what you are agreeing to. I’m afraid this will not be the last time we hear someone complain about this. But now it is done. Of course, I gladly accept the offer. I think my brother and I would enjoy Lotus Pier. But you are aware, that the Dafan Wen count about 70 in number?" she opened her eyes again to look at him and bow her head in respect. He tilted his head, then shrugged, nonplussed.
"Honestly, I had thought far more.", he admitted.
"We were attacked by the Quishan branch and most of our eligible youth was recruited as soldiers for the war. I don't know how many survived, but with that announcement, maybe a few can find their way back to us. Still, we will not number over a hundred." she looked down into her tea. They had been a bustling village, once. But the attack of the stone fairy and then the recruitment in the war had decimated them greatly. "Honestly, I thought that I would already be dead by now either way. So yes, this is actually a fine arrangement." she smiled, a real smile, and took another sip of her tea. It was scalding hot, but she let the liquid burn down her throat anyway. Jiang Wanyin seemed suddenly to not know what to say, and his sister at his side was the one to pick up the thread of conversation, finally setting her sorting aside.
"We're glad you're here and going to join us. We need all the help we can get to rebuilt Lotus Pier. And to be precise, our doctors were also killed in the war, so we would certainly not scruff if you would honor us with your knowledge or services." Wen Qing nodded. She had assumed as much, and that would mean that she could have her own apothecary and practice again without the threat of Wen Ruohan looming above her, or more precisely, above A-Ning.
"Gladly. I will need facilities and boarding. A few beds..."
"Yes, of course. We had planned to expand the old hospital rooms anyway.", Jiang Yanli seemed prepared, driving her fingers over a sheet of paper with a list on it.
"We did?", Jiang Wanyin sounded like this was news to him.
"Yes, I put the plans on your desk a few days ago.", his sister tilted her head, blinking at him like she couldn’t believe he hadn’t looked at it yet.
"Alright. Wait." Jiang Wanyin looked at his sister. "You knew about this already? I hadn't even said anything."
"You don't need to say anything, A-Cheng, some things are just obvious to a big sister." her smile was smug and the hand on his arm knowing, and suddenly, Jiang Wanyin's cheeks were flaming red. Wen Qing herself barely managed to hold back a snort, while from somewhere in the direction of the bed, Wei Wuxian gave a flat out laugh.
"You've been played, Jiang Cheng!" he yelled, amusement and brotherly affection in his voice.
"Ugh, that means you'll be my patient permanently, Wei Wuxian. Better be prepared.", Wen Qing yelled back, voice loud enough for him to hear.
"Hey!" he protested.
Oh, she was going to enjoy this.
~~
It was not long after this conversation that they were due to departure for Lotus Pier. Wen Qing knew that there were negotiations on Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji's marriage, and that was another thing that did not surprise her. After all, she had heard them and walked in on them often enough. Of course, they also wanted to get done with the negotiations before returning home.
"I will not budge on this, A-Cheng, we cannot have A-Xian leave the sect, he needs to help train the disciples.", Jiang Yanli insisted. Wen Qing did not know how she herself was present for this, but their occupied house did not have many rooms, so since she stayed here, she was kind of always in hearing distance, even while packing her herbs in the kitchen.
"I see. How about we decide that we do not decide, then?", Lan Xichen was a most generous and gentle negotiator, but he was firm and diligent when it came to topics he cared about. Which was apparently, definitely, his younger brother.
"Both sects then. Neither marries in but both join the other.", Jiang Yanli agreed.
Wen Qing felt herself shrugging inwardly. It seemed like a nice enough agreement.
~~
"These negotiations are killing me." Jiang Wanyin flopped down next to Wen Qing one evening, sitting cross-legged and pouring himself a cup of wine he had brought in from...somewhere. Wen Qing had banned alcohol from this house until Wei Wuxian was well enough and his core was strong enough again, so it could not have been under her supervision.
"I said no wine in here." she said politely, but with a pointed look, indicating her head towards Wei Wuxian.
"I know. I don't care, he can fuck off, this is mine." Jiang Wanyin squared his shoulders and scooted closer to her to block off Wei Wuxian's view. Well, lucky for him, Wei Wuxian was preoccupied anyway. He was playing the flute while Lan Wangji was playing his qin. The two of them duetting was a frequent activity now. Since they were almost always supervised before their marriage was official, it was one of the only activities they could do together with Wei Wuxian still recovering.
Wen Qing had encouraged it, too, since the flute playing helped Wei Wuxian's lungs to strengthen and could help him build up his core while playing with spiritual energy, as well. Plus, he was not as trained in playing without using resentful energy yet, so that was a bonus, too.
"I see. Well then, good that he's preoccupied with his fiancé."
"Ugh. Please don't speak of them that way."
"They are, though. Is it not good, to have an alliance like that for the Jiang sect?"
"Of course, of course. My mother would turn in her grave if I would let an opportunity like that go. It's just weird to think about Wei Wuxian that way, to think about your brother that way. I'm sure you can relate. How many girlfriends-" he paused, looking over. "Or I guess boyfriends has Wen Ning had?"
"None." she said, sipping her tea. "At least that I'm aware of. And I'm very aware.", she kept her face straight, but Jiang Wanyin still snorted.
"Oh?" he grinned at her, lifting an eyebrow and downing another cup of the wine. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"That means that A-Ning talks to me about the stuff he does. He has become very good friends with Sect Leader Nie's younger brother, I hear. Nie Huaisang...?"
"What?" Jiang Wanyin gasped. They were speaking quietly as to not disturb the playing of the other two. It helped that they were playing very beautifully, and it was not distracting in any way. Really, if they wanted, they could probably give concerts.
"I said friends. Please get your mind out of the gutter, Sect Leader Jiang." she shook her head and playfully hit his shoulders from the side. He made an offended gasp, a very similar reaction to his brother, and then leaned on the table with one of his elbows with a deep sigh. The Jiang sect siblings were not all related by blood, but sometimes their behaviors were so obviously a tell to their collective upbringing that it was nothing but amusing to watch.
"Still. Marriage negotiations suck. At least Lan Xichen isn't being weird and pretentious about it." he puffed his loose strand from his face, which just resulted in it flapping back into it, making him grimace even more.
"I heard Yanli is a talented negotiator." she commented. After all, she had passively heard most of these negotiations and Jiang Yanli was firm but polite, not budging with negotiating the best for her brother's life that was possible.
"Oh, A-Jie's the best. I don't know what I'll do without her, honestly.", Jiang Wanyin took another swing of his alcohol.
"Will?", she raised her eyebrows. What did he mean by that?
"When she marries her peacock. There's no way he'll let the engagement fall away now.", his lips were pursed in displeasure, but he seemed resigned to their fate, to his sister's future with the Jin sect leader. It was still amusing to her that both the Jiang brothers called him 'the peacock' it was both a pretty big insult and impressively accurate.
"But he's sect leader now, is he not? He could have anybody he wanted.", she took the jug from him and poured some of the liquid into her own tea cup. At first she thought he'd protest, but he finally decided to just let it happen.
"And he very clearly wants A-Jie. I think her support through the medics and supplies in the war has really opened his eyes some. He's still not good enough for her though."
"Of course.", Wen Qing suppressed a smile. For her brothers, nobody was good enough for Jiang Yanli. She understood, though. The young maiden was quite skilled in the things she set her mind to. The thought alone of the medical procedure that she invented to save her brother was...impressive. She herself had had years of medical training and had struggled with the core transfer. This had been a true team effort, but Jiang Yanli had been the mastermind.
The two of them sat in comfortable silence for a while, her drinking tea and preparing medicine, him drinking his wine.
It was nice.
"I managed to get some of my books out of the palace.", she finally confessed. It had taken some risky errands, some words to people she would normally not dare trust. But it was already beneficial to have the Jiang sect at her back, especially because she could get things and information now that people would have flat out denied her before, would have threatened to lock her up or kill her along with other Wen.
"Mh? You had stuff there still?", he asked, obviously slightly perplexed about this.
"I had a whole office and everything. I would like to take most things to Lotus Pier, if that's okay.", she finished crushing a few ingredients and poured them into the liquid in the other pot. It gave a satisfying sizzling noise, and she swung it around, waiting for Jiang Wanyin's answer. It came after a short pause.
"I think that would probably be good. I don't know how much Wen Chao ruined our supplies and library, but I imagine since his brother was such a fan of setting fire to Cloud Recesses', there's a good chance we need a complete renewal there." he drew his hand over his face in exasperation.
"You're not alone in this. Your siblings are here to help you.", she reassured him. She did not know where the sudden urge to comfort him was coming from, but it felt necessary. "Oh, and Nie Mingjue wanted to speak with you. He was here while you were in negotiations.", she added, as if to distract him from this. After all, it could not do that he would expect something like this from her.
"Nie Mingjue, really? They let him out of bed again already?"
"Yes, he is healing quite nicely. He even -"
"Hey, you two!" Wei Wuxian's voice echoed over to them, making them both away that the playing had stopped.
With this, their talk ended.
~~
The journey back to Lotus Pier was perilous. They still had several injured and people who could not fly on their swords, so they separated their party up into factions in order to travel at different speeds. Wen Qing was sent to the Unclean Realm with a few soldiers to get the rest of her family.
"I made sure they're well treated, so don't worry.", Nie Huaisang said, fanning himself very slowly in a relaxed way. He was traveling back with them on behalf of his brother. A-Ning next to her nodded, agreeing with the statement, apparently.
They were sitting in a carriage. Wen Qing and her brother did not have their swords back yet as they were still 'under watch', a precaution the sect leaders had agreed upon when they settled on if they could leave the remaining Wens with their own allies. Nie Huaisang despised using his own blade anyway, so he did not complain about that mode of travel.
"Yes, Granny has already taken over the kitchens. A-Yuan is enjoying his new freedom, too and Fourth Uncle keeps asking to help the Nie make 'better wine'" he smiled shyly and twisted his hands into one another. Ah, she had missed her family. It would be good to see them in high spirits, as A-Ning described. Just knowing that they were well treated was already lifting her spirits from the oppressive moods that being in the nightless city had brought upon them.
"Qing-Jie!" A-Yuan's little feet tapped over the stone floor as he ran towards them. He was hugging her legs even before she could say hello to him.
"A-Yuan! How are you?" she smiled, leaning down to stroke the hair from his face. He was looking a mess, but the kind of mess two year olds normally produced when they were walking around freely, exploring. What she wanted to know was what happened to his shoes.
"Where's your sister?" and consequently, where was the rest of her family? A-Mei was the youngest amongst them and only a baby. Since her and A-Yuan's parents had been one of the first casualties in this war, they were mostly left with whatever relative had time to care for them at the moment. Usually that was Granny, but if what A-Ning said was right, she was probably busy in the kitchens. A-Yuan had had a big sister as well, but she had also been lost not long after her parents. It had made the family even more protective over their two smallest members.
"Dunno.", A-Yuan admitted, sadly shaking his head. Heavens, she was glad he was alright. Just a month ago, she had been sure that they would all meet terrible fates, no matter which side of the war emerged victorious. Wen Ruohan would have treated them horribly and if the others had not been negotiated with by Jiang Wanyin and Lan Xichen...she did not want to know, honestly. That darker world could just disappear forever and not become reality.
"Okay, we'll look for them, then. Because we came back with a surprise!" she smiled at him, effortlessly lifting him up into her arms. He was light, but not as light as he had been, which was a relief. Children should have enough food that when you see them a month or two later, they are noticeably bigger and heavier.
"A surprise?", he asked, putting a fist into his mouth to chew on. She patiently took it out and nodded.
"Yes. We're going to visit a very pretty place called Lotus Pier. Auntie Qing is going to have an office as a doctor there, and you can play in the lakes with the Lotus ponds, would you like that?" she bumped his nose with her knuckle like she'd seen Jiang Yanli do to Wei Wuxian so often.
"Yes", A-Yuan nodded solemnly. He had always been a rather quiet child, and his little pleased smile warmed Wen Qing's heart. She sighed deeply and hugged him closer. A-Ning was her only direct family member left, A-Yuan and A-Mei were her cousins. It was distant family, but they had grown closer over the course of the war and being displaced from their home. A-Yuan had been forced to adapt quickly to new surroundings and being carried by different people.
They found the rest of their family scattered around the Unclean Realm and after explaining the situation, many were thrilled to have the opportunity for a permanent new home.
"Can't we return to Dafan Mountain?", Uncle Four asked.
"I looked, the village is mostly destroyed.", A-Ning said sadly. Wen Qing had no idea when he had seen the village again, but she decided to ask about that later.
"Lotus Pier would grant us protection against hostile powers for now. We still carry the surname Wen, and we will carry it proudly, but after this war it will be hard to move freely. We will have to sit it out, maybe integrate into one of the clans. The Jiang siblings are dear friends of mine by now.” She did not hesitate to admit this, nor was she afraid to say so. “If you don't want to come with me, you're welcome to talk to the other clan leads and determine a place for you to stay. The Wen territory has been declared out of bounds until the other sects have sorted out what to do. Until that happens, we will have to lie low." she sighed and wrung her hands together in her lap where she was sitting.
"I want to play with the Lotus ponds!" A-Yuan cheered from Granny's lap and to Wen Qing’s joy, Granny nodded.
"We will come with you. I know some of you might ask Second Young Master Nie to stay here, but I will stick with you."
Granny's word was law, so they packed pretty quickly. Well, it wasn't, but all of them seemed to share her opinion. The carriage ride was uneventful, mostly just A-Yuan staring out the window and being astonished by the new scenery.
~~
"Heyy!! Lan Zhan and I will travel by boat with you guys!", Wei Wuxian's waving was characteristically big, even though she had told him to restrict his movements still. But he had made good progress in his musical cultivation with Lan Wangji. The two of them were only accompanied by a bored looking Lan cultivator that stood next to them, near the currently docked boat that they would soon fill. There were several on the river already, providing enough room for all of them. Wei Wuxian walked up to them and properly bowed, but the grin remained on his face. His fiancé and the Lan cultivator also bowed as customary.
A-Yuan clung to Wen Qing's robes, now peaking out from behind her.
"Can't we walk? Boats look scary.", he whispered just loud enough for the adults to hear. To her surprise -though maybe honestly it should not have been that surprising- Wei Wuxian kneeled down in front of her to speak to A-Yuan directly, his face beaming like he had discovered the most delightful thing in the world.
"Hi! And who might you be?", he asked, tilting his head in interest. Wen Qing huffed through her nose but answered for him, putting a hand on his head when he just burried it deeper into her robes.
"This is A-Yuan."
"A-Yuan! What a delightful name. I'm Wei Wuxian." he held his hand flat to his chest and bowed his head again. A-Yuan nodded, but didn't say anything, retreating behind his hideout again. Wei Wuxian leaned forward to whisper, "You can call me Xian-Gege, if you want."
Another short pause.
"Hello Xian-gege", he whispered finally. Wei Wuxian's grin widened, and he looked up at her.
"He's adorable!" he mouthed to her as if it was their little secret. She could not help but shake her head in exasperation, but she patted A-Yuan's head nevertheless for being so indeed adorable and relatively well behaved. A gaze over to Lan Wangji made her pause. Hanguang-Jun himself was staring at Wei Wuxian with such a wonder in his eyes as she's never seen before. Had he looked adoring before during their combined playing of their instruments or that time Wen Qing stumbled over them secretly sneaking a kiss, this was definitely double that affection packed into one longing stare.
"Come, come. I'll show you. Boats are great! And Lotus Pier is sooo pretty, trust me!" Wei Wuxian rambled, and extended his hand towards A-Yuan. Wen Qing let him, because she knew that he was going to not lead him astray.
Months, years , later she'd think of this moment as the beginning of something new for so many reasons.
It was never a negative thought.
~~
Wei Wuxian was right about one thing: Lotus Pier was indeed beautiful.
Even as the houses had been destroyed and burned, the pier base still stood and so did the lakes filled with vibrant lotus flowers. The color of the evening sky made it look as if out of an illustration and Wen Qing knew that her wonder was mirrored on her face.
"Told you", Wei Wuxian whispered next to Wen Qing, winking at her. She shook her head at him, but otherwise only rolled her eyes, because really, she wanted to keep looking.
"It is breathtaking.", Lan Wangji admitted as well. He was looking at Wei Wuxian though, and, upon realizing he meant not the lakes but him, Wei Wuxian blushed scarlet.
"Oh dear..." she whispered to herself and A-Ning next to her giggled. "What have we gotten ourselves into here?" she exchanged a look with her brother, who only shrugged, grinning.
"I think it's mostly cute."
"I understand what Jiang Wanyin means. A-Ning, you better not keep something sappy like this from me, mh?"
"No, A-Jie, promise." he nodded dutifully, and that placated her enough so that she could concentrate on the sceneries coming closer again.
"Good. One pair of siblings needs to be keeping reasonable here."
"Yes, A-Jie.", but she caught him smiling behind his sleeve anyway.
~~
Lotus Pier’s infirmary was in ashes.
Wen Qing stood in front of it and mentally calculated what could be salvaged.
"Some of the shimei tried to hide in here." Jiang Yanli said from behind her. Wen Qing shuddered, thinking that Wen Chao and his men desecrated a sacred place of healing as a location of murder. Of children, no less. She swallowed thickly and nodded, not knowing what to say. To denounce Wen Chao was easy, now that he was dead and rotting in the dirt in Yiling somewhere. To say 'I'm sorry I did not do enough' seemed hypocritical, as she knew that she did everything in her power to at least help the Jiangs when they came to her. 'I wish things were different' would not help anybody. So in the end, she just turned towards Jiang Yanli and said;
"I will honor this opportunity to rebuild this place of healing." and she bowed. Jiang Yanli smiled at her, the smile honest and not politely forced, and Wen Qing knew by now that that was the best thing to receive.
Actually, building a new, improved, and expanded infirmary was a worthwhile effort of her time. It took most of the winter to restore the overall construction and then the beginning of spring to actually have it built as soon as the weather was well enough. In the meantime, her family settled into Lotus Pier properly, with most of them staying in a certain city district while her brother and her stayed with them and worked on the rebuilding projects during the day.
"You could stay in the compound.", Jiang Wanyin offered one day. Wei Wuxian next to him choked on his latest bite of dinner.
"Jiang Cheng!" he gasped, as soon as he had air again.
"What?" Jiang Wanyin spat at his brother. "They're constantly going back and forth, it might save time. And effort. I'm only being practical."
"Sure. Sure you are. Just being practical, it has no basis in you wanting Qing-Jie close by?" he shook his head. "You're so transparent, Jiang Cheng."
"Shut the fuck up! As if!" he lifted his hand to smack at his brother's shoulder, saw Wen Qing follow their argument and quickly reigned in his hand, clearing his throat loudly. "I mean, only if you so choose."
"A-Xian.", Jiang Yanli reprimanded Wei Wuxian before he could say anything else, dimming his shit-eating grin somewhat. Wen Qing had been invited by Jiang Yanli to eat with them. Wen Qing had already thought it might have been a forward move with such thoughts in this direction on Yanli’s part.
"Where would we be staying?" Wen Qing asked instead, eating another bite.
"I had a few of the reconstructed guest rooms prepared.", Jiang Wanyin said, looking at his brother from the side. "Since some of your family are already staying here most nights anyway, I thought you might as well."
He was, of course, referring to A-Yuan, who had taken to Wei Wuxian as a bee took to flowers. The little boy was often found at Wei Wuxian's side throughout most hours of the day and when night came, and he was brought to bed, he had started to sneak out and find his way back into the compound like the sneakiest of cats, sliding Wei Wuxian's door open and crawling into bed with him to snuggle after a nightmare.
"Leave A-Yuan out of this." Wei Wuxian hissed, shielding the boy from view, who was actually eating properly and right now sitting next to Wei Wuxian as he had been many meals since they arrived here. Jiang Cheng glared at the child, but not really in a way that suggested that he wished harm to him, more that he wished his brother weren't the one getting married and kind of also having a child before that even happened.
"You're not even married yet, stop being such an overachiever!", he grumbled, his jaw muscles working overtime.
"Then you stop reminding me that I still have to wait so long until I can marry Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian sounded like an angered cat more than anything now, squinting angrily at his brother. A-Yuan perked up at that comment, always almost as excited about anything related to Lan Wangji as Wei Wuxian was.
"Rich-gege is coming back?", he asked, halting the movement of his spoon halfway to his mouth.
"Yes, A-Yuan, soon. Finish your soup.", Wei Wuxian soothed the boy and referred to the visit of Lan Wangji that was scheduled for the following week. Lan Xichen had apparently -again- had intense talks with Jiang Yanli about Wei Wuxian's marriage conditions, after the Lan elders had gotten involved and after some negotiation, had gotten quite invested in their second jade’s marriage. As far as she understood through the grapevine, Lan Wangji had also been driving his brother up the wall with requests to ‘see his Wei Ying again’. She would call it romantic if she cared about such things.
"Okay.", A-Yuan didn't further complain, and shoveled another spoonful of the frankly very delicious soup into his mouth. Wen Qing had to compliment Jiang Yanli on her cooking later. Right now, the eldest Jiang sibling seemed to kind of enjoy her brother's squabbles, serenely peeling lotus seeds and putting them in front of A-Yuan. The little boy took them between spoons of food and quietly thanked her for them, too.
"You're welcome, A-Yuan. What a polite boy you are!" she smiled, stroking his hair. "I think you should teach your baba about that." she smiled warmly, looking at Wei Wuxian, whose eyes suddenly widened, red rising in his cheeks and his movement that had been about to hit his brother on the arm, stopped in mid-air.
"Baba, eat your vegetables, too!" A-Yuan immediately turned on Wei Wuxian, and Wen Qing found herself having to hold off a straight up laugh, managing to hide it as a cough behind her sleeve.
"A-Yuan! You can't- I'm not-" Wei Wuxian clamped his mouth shut and, panicked, met Wen Qing's gaze. There was an obvious question there, he was searching for her outrage, for something of a protest.
Of course, a few months ago, Wen Qing would have given thus, would have insisted that A-Yuan was her family and had no business calling Wei Wuxian father . Wei Wuxian, the man who had one of the highest body counts on his head in the war, had killed many of her clan, maybe inadvertently even members of her family.
But on the other hand, would she have? After all, A-Yuan’s parents had died early in the war, his mother after giving birth to his little sister and her father having been drawn to the front lines as a soldier. Of course, he'd always be her family, him and A-Mei, right now the youngest of their clan left.
But at some point, maybe even soon, they might mingle with the locals, some might have children of their own. Wei Wuxian was a wonderful teacher and a good role model, even if he often also did a lot of things that Wen Qing wished he rather didn't. The war had driven them all to do things they would rather forget about, after all.
He calls me Qing-Jie now, does he not?, she thought. They were long past what they should be feeling for one another, were all in Lotus Pier, treating each other as family, when according to societal norms, they should have killed each other long ago.
So she sighed, set her tea cup down from a long sip and returned his gaze.
"I guess there's really no more denying it at this point.", she shrugged. "But only if you draw up a proper adoption after the wedding. And only if you do it for A-Mei as well."
Wei Wuxian stared, and for several seconds he looked like he might cry. Then he blinked, smiled an honest if wobbly smile, and folded his hands formally and bowed to Wen Qing, true gratitude mirrored in his gaze. Right after, he drew his hand through A-Yuan's now severely better managed crown of hair.
"Of course. They're siblings. As if I could tear apart siblings..." his eyes flickered to his own siblings on his left side, his sister gently smiling while Jiang Wanyin was staring at A-Yuan and Wei Wuxian's hand on his head before he finally looked up and met his brother's gaze.
Something there in his eyes seemed to shatter and put itself back together, until a smile formed on his own lips. Wen Qing had to suddenly blink and look away, because that might have been the first genuine smile she saw on the Jiang sect leader's face, and it was making her think of the comb hidden away deep in her sleeves.
She bit her lip and tried to concentrate back on her food.
~~
The comb between her fingers seemed heavy like it was made of lead instead of wood. Wen Qing drew a deep breath before she lifted her hand to knock on the door.
"Just talk to him about it.", Jiang Yanli had said to her when she had confessed about that little scene in the dungeon where Jiang Wanyin had handed her this comb. "I'm sure you two will be able to clear everything up then." She smiled her knowing smile, making Wen Qing wonder once again how one woman seemed to do the emotional work of what seemed like the entire Jiang Clan and how this house was going to manage once she left for her own marriage.
"Come in.", Jiang Wanyin's voice echoed through to her, and she took another breath before she shoved it open carefully, not wanting to appear too brusque. The sect leader was hunched over his desk, in the middle of formulating a letter, brush in his hand and sleeve in the other, so it would not smudge. When she stepped in, he seemed to first relax a little, a small smile on his lips, before he spotted the comb in her hand and his expression made a journey in a territory she had trouble to interpret in the split second before he managed to school it into neutrality.
"Wen Qing! Come in, take a seat. Would you...like some tea?", he offered, his eyes flying around to where he had left the other cups. She spotted them on a table out of his reach and set it down between them herself, careful to avoid the papers. The comb was set down next to it like a statement on the topic of conversation, and she refilled both of their cups with the still steaming liquid.
"Sect Leader Jiang." she started, when they had both taken a sip in careful silence. "I think you can assume what I've come to talk to you about.", she said, both of their gazes automatically fixating on the object between them.
"I can take a good guess, yes.", he swallowed, but remained silent. When Wen Qing did not continue immediately, he closed his eyes. "Have you come to return it, then?", he asked, lips pressed together and his every tense muscle screaming with anticipation for a final blow or...something along those lines.
"Why do you think that is my intention?", Wen Qing asked instead, her forefinger drawing back and forth on the edge of her teacup. It was pretty, a lotus blossom delicately painted on the outside, little ridges likening it to the flower as well. Jiang Wanyin seemed even more tense, but he opened his eyes, his brows drawing together in deep confusion.
"I..." he sighed, his shoulders slumping. "I know that I'm not like my siblings. I might have offered the comb to you as a gesture with a lot of intention behind it, but I know that it's rather old-fashioned and symbolic." he drew his tongue over his lips and his hand massaged the ink stone. If she did not know any better, she would assume he was fidgeting. He gave a sudden, hollow laugh. "I heard about it from some gossiping disciples and bought it back in Gusu, on that day with the Waterbourn Abyss, do you remember?"
"Very clearly.", she said, but she also had to smile a little. That was ages ago, though. Had he carried this comb around with him ever since then?
"There was just...never an opportunity and then the war happened..." he sighed, shaking his head. "It was probably in poor taste, what I said in that dungeon, and I do apologize for that. As if I could ever expect anybody to leave their family behind to save their own hide." he huffed, vaguely gesturing to everything around them, from the way that little things in his office reminded of his siblings, like the lotus tea set Wen Qing knew had once been a gift from his sister and the sword stand in black and purple that Wei Wuxian had created him at some point. She guessed it probably did not end there, knew that many things were lost in the razing of Lotus Pier and that there were probably small, invisible (to her) traces of his parents and ancestors everywhere around here.
Something about his words stuck in her mind, making her uncertain about their meaning.
"What do you mean that you're not like your siblings?", she asked instead of reacting to any of his other points, even the apology. Again, there was this expression on his face, slightly pained and marred by a deep sigh.
"I just...A-Jie has been in love with Jin Zixuan for many years. Wei Wuxian used to flirt with everything not running away fast enough. I just always..." he made a vague gesture towards nothing. "I just did what was expected of a sect heir, mostly, but everything concerning relationships and the like..." he said the word like it was something toxic on his tongue. "It has just never really been on my mind naturally."
Wen Qing nodded.
"Neither has intimacy, I assume?", she asked, face completely serious. She expected the deep blush on his face, even the undignified curse. She bore both of them patiently, with her usual air of professionalism.
"God, how did we end up here. No, I guess neither has that sort of thing" he again gestured vaguely, pulling a face. "I used to have a list, Wei Wuxian always made fun of me. Of what a maiden should be like that I would court."
Wen Qing raised an eyebrow, amused and slightly judging, taking another sip of her tea.
"Sect Leader Jiang must elaborate on that, if he can.", she said, overly formal. Jiang Wanyin laughed hollowly.
"Dear gods above, no. It was really just what my mother said to look for in a bride. I know by now that not every one of my mother's wisdoms should be followed to the letter in good faith." he took a deep breath and shook his head with a wry smile. "She would smite me for saying that, but it's true."
"It is its own wisdom to learn from our ancestor's mistakes," she said wisely. All she could suddenly see was her father, trusting Wen Ruohan and getting killed by the Stone Fairy in repayment.
There was a small silence, then Jiang Wanyin was again the one to break it.
"So have you come to return it? I would understand.", he said. His tone was held neutral, but she knew that he was keeping it this way on purpose.
"I had not. I had come to inquire about your motivations and thoughts behind the gesture. If you'd said that you harbored deep romantic affections towards me that you hoped I would return, I would have politely had to tell you that I did not in full confidence know if I would ever be able to return them." she huffed, still amused by all this. "But I guess we're both not quite usual in that regard, are we now."
Now, Jiang Wanyin's eyes widened.
"What?", he asked, shoulders relaxing for a whole different reason. "I thought I was the only one!"
"Oh Sect Leader Jiang. There are very little things in this world anyone is completely unique in. I assure you that not wanting to jump every person that doesn't run fast enough is not abnormal or something to feel guilty about." she paused, considering for a second. "Well, I guess Wei Wuxian and you are unique in the core transfer and restoration field. But I feel like that is an exception to the general rule."
Jiang Wanyin snorted, then he was almost giggling.
"Please, believe me, I do not aspire for it." Then he sobered some, "call me Jiang Cheng, if you want. Nobody really uses my courtesy name except maybe the Twin Jades." He did not seem particularly bothered by this.
She smiled. "Of course, Jiang Cheng." Then she put her hand on top of the comb. "Now I think I'm going to take my leave. I think I'll be holding onto it. I've become quite fond of it to actually comb my hair with," she confessed, and even winked at him. He snorted, but did not protest, just shook his head.
As she stepped outside, she breathed in deeply again when the door had closed behind her. This time, however, it was a peaceful motion. She shook her head and folded the comb back into the layers of her robes.
It was a quiet afternoon at Lotus Pier and Wen Qing couldn't keep the smile off her face for the entire rest of her day.
Notes:
SO yeah :)
I know i leaned really into the aro/ace ChengQing agenda here, but it's just how I see them. 😘 At least in this story, I wanted to write about it and for them to have an explicit conversation about the whole thing. They don't have a word for it really, I just know that JC in my fic feels different from his siblings in this regard. What dimensions that might take in a later relationship if it follows is to be seen of course ;).
Next up: Yanli navigates her new family's life as the emotional support pillar she is. She also gets married and has a child, you know, as you do while that's all going on x'D. *sings "surface pressure" under her breath*
IF ANYONE WANTS TO TALK TO ME ABOUT ELDEST SIBLING PRESSURES (AND ENCANTO IN THIS CONTEXT) IN MDZS I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR A TALK (also on tumblr and twitter under the same username ;* (kat-anni and @kat_anni respectively)).
Anyway...tell me if you enjoyed this and what your thoughts are. How's 2022 been treating you until now? 🥰
Chapter 19: And see Life as a means to a triumph
Summary:
Yanli's family is growing, and she is joyous to see it -but sometimes the grief still creeps through the cracks. She's as emotionally responsible about this as a Jiang probably gets, and makes sure the family she does have knows exactly how much she loves them all. Rather emotional chapter, mention of past death and trauma.
Notes:
Hi :)
Now that the poisoned wine fic is done, my full focus is on this one (and the following projects) ;DSO Yanli. She has a lot going on and it might seem a bit like zooming through time here, but I hope I also managed to wrap some things up for her, at least for this story.
I have an ask for you at the end of the chapter so pls read the end notes 😙
Enjoy! ~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jiang Yanli
"Shijiiiie", A-Xian whined.
"Yes, A-Xian?", she said, perfectly calm and her focus not wavering from her needlework in her hands.
"Are you really marrying the peacock after all?!"
Patiently, Yanli set down her work and turned towards her brother, who had been quietly drawing with A-Yuan for the previous minutes, but now turned his attention towards her. The little toddler was still perfectly quiet, concentrating on his brush strokes and on whatever he imagined creating, his mind in a rigorous hyper focus and his tongue sticking out while he tried to keep his hand steady. Yanli was aware that him and her A-Xian were not blood related, but sometimes it was just too curious, how similar they were.
"Yes, I will. A-Xuan has been very forthcoming and much less...clumsy in his affections, ever since the war. He's sect leader now and needs help managing Jinlningtai."
"Ugh. That palace is a viper's nest, Shijie. I don't want him to force you into something like that.", he wrinkled his nose in that way that always made her think of him when he first came to them, all small and cute.
"Nobody is forcing me, I want this. And you know I can handle myself.", she said, pinching his nose just like back then. The scrunch intensified, but he did not pull back, only pushing out his bottom lip.
"I knooow." A-Xian sighed again, draping himself over a free space on the table. "Still can't believe that he's combining the marriage with the Phoenix mountain hunt. But I guess all the clans will already be there, won't they…" he tapped the back of his brush onto the surface of the table and set his chin on his arm to smile at her. "Then I'll try to be happy for you instead."
"Thank you, A-Xian. I appreciate it." she chuckled, and picked her work back up. Indeed, their wedding had been moved up.
Yes, their engagement had been nullified before the war, but A-Xuan had approached her, a wreck of nerves, after the last battle, and asked for her hand back. Now that his father was dead, he had said, he would be the sect leader himself and needed -wanted!- her by his side. He babbled on about her prowess of organization and medicine during the war and how much he would appreciate it all and that he would definitely formally talk to her brother about all this but wanted to ask her first.
She had interrupted him with a quiet giggle and agreed to it on the spot. After all, she had been waiting for this for quite some time.
"I don't know if A-Cheng will make the deal easily, though. He might rob you of a part of that fortune of yours.", she had said to him.
"Anything", Jin Zixuan had said, without hesitation. "That does not matter to me."
And hadn’t that been the best testament to his character she could have wanted.
Back in Lotus Pier with her brother, A-Xian grinned at her, head on his hands.
"Well, if you marry soon, that means I can do it next. I know that Lan Zhan is just vibrating with anticipation for it."
"I think he's not alone in that.", she said with a teasing smirk, nudging A-Xian's nose once again now that was freely exposed due to his weird position draped over the table. He scrunched it up, but otherwise only started to grin again.
The frequency of his smiles had increased so much over the last few months back home that sometimes, Yanli was able to forget the shadows under his eyes and the way his ribs had been blue and green when he had been returned to them. But the memory still lingered, and she found herself hugging him often, wanting him close and to not doubt how important he was. Not after that breakdown, not after finding him in a pool of blood and soup in his private rooms. Her own nightmares frequently revolved around her brother's blood on her hands, her fingers trying to stitch him a new core, sow him back together, holding him while he sobbed in agony over something she could not change.
"You are right. I also can't wait. Maybe I'll thrive as a married man, what do you think, A-Yuan?" he turned to his son -official now for a few weeks- and ruffled his hair.
"Mn." A-Yuan nodded, his tongue still out and attention on the paper in front of him. Yanli was pretty sure he was not listening, but A-Xian just held his hand to his heart, swooning back in his seat and dramatically landing on the floor instead.
"Just like his A-Die." he wheezed, as if strangled, then started to laugh.
She could not help joining in with him.
~~
Wedding preparations were exhausting. Yanli was glad that her brothers were here, helping her along.
"I've been planning this wedding since I was ten.", A-Cheng said, one day, drawing his hand through his hair and messing up his hairdo. "How are there still so many things to settle?!"
"Well, since the Peacock is already sect leader now, he's in a very different position.", A-Xian said from the other side of A-Cheng, where he was diligently folding papers. A-Cheng had banned him from writing, after all. In theory, A-Xian could write proper calligraphy, but he got bored easily and then everything he wrote down was just illegible. And they needed all these official documents to be very, very legible.
"You really have to stop calling A-Xuan that.", Yanli sighed and set down her next document in front of A-Cheng to sign.
"Only if he offers me a proper alternative.", A-Xian was stubborn as always, folding the next paper just a little too forcefully.
"He did, you know. He said to call him Zixuan.", A-Cheng offered, rolling his eyes.
"Hah. Not to MY face.", A-Xian pointed out, finger raised.
"But to mine. The offer kind of extends to you, Xian-ge." he formed the words carefully and all Yanli could do was to hide her gasp in a quiet intake of breath, subtly forcing herself to not halter her movements but still watch A-Xian’s reaction.
"I guess, but I still- wait, what did you just call me?" A-Xian stopped in his next fold, staring over to A-Cheng, who had significant color in his cheeks but didn't answer right away.
"Idiot", he finally said, when the room grew too quiet and A-Xian did not continue his folding. "Come on, I want to be done before dinner." he gestured towards the pile that A-Xian still needed to fold.
"No, that's not what you said, Shijie, you heard him, right-"
" Jiejie .", A-Cheng interrupted A-Xian, and it was all Yanli could do to not openly gape at him. "Call her your sister, like she is."
"What?" A-Xian's voice was a high pitch of a nervous flutter, fragile like a butterfly in the wind. He sounded like he was close to choking on something.
"But-" he interrupts himself. "Madam Yu-"
"Well, maybe mother was wrong.", A-Cheng interrupts him again, and sets the brush down on the stand so forcefully that ink splattered on the table below. Yanli lifted her eyebrows, but did not interject yet, so far agreeing with A-Cheng and positively surprised that he was the one to broach the topic. They had talked about it, briefly, after they were certain that they would all return from Nightless City. She would never have dared to put a time stamp on it, wanting A-Cheng to be the one to approach A-Xian with it, but she guessed now was as good a time as any. Their family would grow, soon. It was high time A-Xian knew his place in it.
"You can't just say that, Jiang Chen-"
"Didi", A-Cheng corrected again. If his cheeks had been red before, now his whole head was flaming. The tone of his voice was a little too harsh for her tastes, but he still got his point across, so she decided to only nod, smiling, making A-Xian openly gasp. Now his expression really did look like he could not breathe.
"Listen.", A-Cheng did not sound like he accepted an interruption, and to everyone's surprise, A-Xian listened, eyes wide and unbelieving and maybe a little wet. "I love my mother, but concerning this, the fact that you are our family, she was wrong."
"No! I- Jiang Wanyin, you go over there and apologize to her right now -" he pointed in the vague direction of the ancestral shrine and stood from his seat. There were tears in his eyes that he did not dare address.
"I will not. She can deal with it." A-Cheng only folded his arms, not getting up.
"JIANG CHENG-"
"A-Xian.", she finally interrupted. His horror filled, teary eyes landed on her, almost afraid of what she might say. Yanli kept her voice steady, gentle, and tried to keep in her own anger at her mother's actions during their childhood as deeply buried as she did most days. "A-Cheng is right. You're our brother in all but blood, and it is not wrong to acknowledge that. Would it really be so wrong if I call you didi , mh?"
A quiet whine escaped A-Xian's throat and his knees slowly gave way so he was sitting again. His lips were trembling, eyes still full of tears, of which the first one was now finally spilling over.
"I...you..." his lip was still trembling and he looked like he wanted to run away, but A-Cheng was quicker, lifted himself up a little to draw A-Xian towards him, wrap him in his arms.
"You really are an idiot. Don't make A-Jie sad, that's like, one of the only rules we have." he huffed and patted A-Xian's back, who only mildly laughed but then gave in and buried himself in his brother's embrace. Yanli smiled, getting up and sitting next to them, so she was able to stroke both their backs. A-Cheng was right, her face did show her sadness, because if this was all it took for A-Xian to break down in tears in front of them, they may have really failed to convey his importance to them properly.
"A-Xian, you have to know how important you are to us.", she said, just loud enough for him to hear. Another quiet whimper was heard, but he also nodded minutely, his hand shooting out and taking hers while his other dug deep into A-Cheng's purple robes. "A-Cheng and I talked, and we want to officially adopt you into the family. You don't have to change your name if you don't wish, but your parents tablets are going to be moved into the inner shrine, me and A-Cheng are going to dub you our blood sibling."
"It'll be handled like a sworn brotherhood, so it won't infringe upon any of our parents wishes." A-Cheng clarified. At the mention of his parent's tablets, A-Xian drew back abruptly, looking at them both. Seeing that they were serious, he shook his head again in protest.
"You can't, I- the Clan's reputation-"
"I can, and I will.", A-Cheng demanded, as stubborn as ever, his jaw set in a hard line. Since A-Xian's stubbornness was sometimes even worse than...well, really anyone's, Yanli definitely understood A-Cheng's determination.
A-Xian searched both of their faces for a few moments, tears still glistening in his eyes, and then finally closed them, letting the single tear fall. He was quiet for several moments, only taking in air in hitched breaths, before he managed to speak again.
"You're just so damn stubborn, Didi .", he finally managed, finding his voice again, and now it was Yanli's eyes that teared up. She gasped, smiled and drew both of them into a tight hug. A-Cheng had smiled, a mischievous little thing that she hadn't seen in way too long, and so she just held them both tighter, closing her eyes and letting the tears go as they may.
"You're both so stubborn, but that's okay. I love you so, so much.", she whispered, kissing both their heads.
"Ugh, A-Jie. What got you so sappy?" A-Cheng squirmed in her grip, but she did not let go.
"I'm going to marry soon, and I know it's going to be different without me around, but I want you to know that it won't change anything between us, okay? You're still both my Didi and that will always be that way." she stroked both their hair with the tips of her fingers, combing through them as much as was possible with their hairstyles.
"Okay, A-Jie.", A-Xian said, and something in her chest seemed to swell, bloom and glow, fixing a space that had previously cracked under the pressure of the war and what it did to her family and herself.
"Good.", she took another deep breath, trying to get it all under control again.
As long as they had each other, everything would be alright.
~~
The sun glistened over the lakes in the late evening when she next had a moment to herself to sit down and think.
Their family was going to grow again, some way or another, very soon, she knew it in her heart. A-Xian already had A-Yuan, and he was going to marry just after she was, making him -and them- part of the Lan Clan family as well. The Wens were unofficially also part of the family, but Yanli knew that at some point, A-Cheng would get around and maybe marry Wen Qing. Perhaps, they were both not about that romantic life, but A-Cheng needed an heir, and it would be good to make the integration of the Dafan Wen into the clan official, so none of the other clans could suddenly decide to demand them as war spoils or anything of that sort.
Politically, things were starting to look rather stable now, after the clans had decided to not name a new chief cultivator and instead just appoint a chief regent, who only had the position for a certain amount of time.
“Why do we need a chief cultivator anyway?”, A-Xian had sighed a little too loudly during one of the great clan meetings. Yanli heard several people hiss their ‘because it’s always been that way’ answer, but she also watched Zewu-Jun narrow his eyes, tilting his head in what she by now knew was a thoughtful gesture. He and his brother were so similar, in some ways.
“Maybe Wuxian is right.”, he said, a smile forming on his face.
From then on, there hadn’t been much discussion anymore, and now there were constant conferences interchanging locations each time, the leader of them changing positions every 5 years.
She almost had to chuckle at how easy the solution had been, in the end.
If her marriage with A-Xuan was as blessed as she hoped, she would soon have children of her own, if A-Xuan agreed like she hoped and kind of knew he would, they would be able to spend part of the year in their mother's home as well, just as A-Xian was with his own family.
Both A-Xian and A-Cheng were also recruiting very competently for new clan members. They were taking in rogue cultivators as well as young recruits.
"The clan was founded by rogue cultivators, right? I think we shouldn't limit ourselves to just the young recruits, there's a lot of talent out there. If we want to expand our knowledge and if they want the benefit of a steady home, I think we should provide it to them." A-Xian had argued. After just a few seconds of thought, A-Cheng had agreed, shrugging.
"Why not", he had said, and wrote it down on their list for the official recruiting requirements. A-Xian had beamed, and Yanli knew that he was hoping Lotus Pier to be a place where people like he had been, children of rogue cultivators, or like his mother, could find refuge without judgement.
With this and because of A-Xian's reputation as having saved them during the war, as well as the official announcement that Hanguang-Jun would be joining their clan soon, people practically flocked to the Jiang Sect. Lotus Pier was alive again, bustling and blooming and if not for the few buildings that still needed repairing, it was almost as if the war never happened.
But it did, did it not?
With a sigh, she took off her shoes and dipped her feet into the water, absentmindedly running her toes through the soothing warm liquid.
This was one of the piers that still remained, too unimportant to the Wens to burn. She came here when she wanted to be alone, to reflect.
She closed her eyes and for a second, just tried to imagine what her parents would think of what they had achieved.
Her mother would be furious about them letting A-Xian be adopted into the clan, but she would also be bitterly proud that he had won them the war, had avenged them with his strike against Wen Chao, Wen Zhuliu and finally, Wen Ruohan.
"A-Li" , her father would say. She could close her eyes and still see his face. "I'm glad you're all able to be happy."
That was all he ever wanted for them, wasn't it? He just wanted them to be safe and to be happy. Yanli let her tears fall at the thought that he could never see it, and she hoped that wherever the two of them were, that they weren't fighting as much as they had been in life and that somehow, they could see that they had gotten Lotus Pier back and that A-Cheng was safe, that she was, that A-Xian was.
"I miss you", she allowed herself to whisper over the water. It was almost bearable, most days, but sometimes, the pain was so tangible that it felt like it squeezed the life out of her own heart.
“You know, A-Li, the most beautiful Lotus Flower grows out of the deepest mud.” , A-Die had said to her once, when she was crying out here for a completely benign and very different reason. He had stroked her hair gently and tucked one such flower into her hand, stem still attached, so she could hold it.
Today, she knew that this applied to so many things, not just herself. So many terrible things had happened, things they could bury themselves in grief for for years to come. On the other hand, however, that would not get them anywhere now, would it?
All she could think about was A-Cheng, pushing to rebuild the clan from the ashes like nobody else could, with grit and his raw determination to sit down and do the work properly. Her A-Xian, coming out of the Burial Mounds in pieces, battered and bruised and almost unrecognizable even to her. He had begun to smile again, now, was slowly starting to not drown in dark thoughts, was starting to talk about it with them, or with Wen Qing, or his future husband.
They had each other, and they would be alright, somehow. A thick swallow, then she wiped her tears away.
It would not be easy, but they would all be able to get through it, in the end.
~~
The marriage ceremony went by in a flash. There were so many people to greet, rituals to uphold and traditions to go through that she was so, so glad to not have been the main planner for this event. A-Cheng and A-Xian had at one point been thrown together with Jin Ziyao, who had been planning the wedding from the Jin side.
"That little bastard is the toughest negotiator I've ever met", A-Cheng whispered one evening, putting his hand over his eyes and rubbing furiously. "Zixuan said he doesn't care much about the Jin gold, but he sure does." He shook his head and Yanli smiled at him, amused.
"Don't worry, A-Jie . We'll get him to go down a bit. But you could talk to Zixuan about these things, maybe it'll make him budge. We need the money to rebuild, so it's not like we're being super greedy." A-Xian said, serious for once, and moved a paper into her hands. He still pronounced ‘A-Jie’ very carefully each time, like a treasure in his mouth he wanted to savor.
She smiled and promised to talk to A-Xuan about it.
In the end, it had gone relatively smoothly, after all. Both her brothers and Jin Ziyao had a vested interest in this wedding going well and were therefore easier on compromises once the bride price negotiations were out of the way.
"I got them to tone down the gold a little bit. That was probably the hardest point, if I'm honest," A-Cheng said, as a comment when they looked at the venue the day before the wedding. It was indeed rather elegant and not too gaudy, which was not that Jin, at least not completely. Instead, the red was interwoven with some other tasteful decoration, lotus motifs and even the not often used bright blue that the Jin clan also used when it wasn't flaunting around its wealth.
Yanli truly adored it.
"It's beautiful, A-Cheng." she smiled, touching his arm and was glad when he returned the smile just as brightly.
"Only the best for Jiejie", A-Xian chimed in from her other side. He was also using their titles more often than necessary now, as if he wanted to do it as much as possible before someone told him no again. As far as she was concerned, that would never, ever, happen.
Now, she went up those steps with a veil in front of her face, and she thought that it truly was a miracle, that this had worked out in the end. So many things could have gone wrong. The war going the other way, A-Xuan dying, one of her brothers dying. A-Xian had been so close...she shuddered and hoped nobody saw.
"Are you okay, A-Li?", A-Xuan asked, once they were by themselves. He touched her shoulder, gently, so gently, and the look of concern was open, inviting her to talk.
"I'm wonderful", was all she was able to say before she threw her arms around him.
The veil lifted from her head, the rest of the night was spent in blissful touches and quiet whispers.
Yanli would not want it any other way.
~~
When Jin Ling's arrival was pretty much imminent not that many months later, Yanli could not help but insist on being the one to tell her brothers. She traveled to Lotus Pier under the pretense of wedding preparations for A-Xian and sat them both down in A-Cheng's study.
"What is it, A-Jie, is everything okay?", A-Xian asked. Of course, he would assume something was wrong. The war might be long over by now, but he was still silently waiting for his world to fall apart around him. Instead of reprimanding him, she just smiled, easing his worries.
"I just wanted you to be the first to know before we made an announcement", she said, and laid her hand down on her stomach.
"I'm with child."
"Oh heavens!" A-Xian exclaimed then, arms flying up and next thing she knew, he was hugging her, and fiercely drawing A-Cheng with him, not allowing any protest from him.
"A niece or nephew, I can't believe this!"
"Another one, more like it.", A-Cheng grumbled, stroking his robes to keep them from wrinkling when he was finally freed from the embrace.
"Well, it's MY first niece or nephew, good for you that I already have a son and daughter." he stuck out his tongue to A-Cheng and crossed his arms. Yanli barely managed to hold back her snicker. It was amazing, how good a father A-Xian was when he was still so much of a child himself. She had seen him with both of the little Wen siblings, and knew that they would be in good hands.
A-Cheng only rolled his eyes.
"Congratulations, A-Jie. Let's hope your little one is nowhere near anything like this one.", he pointed at his brother, and A-Xian gasped in fake outrage at the insinuation.
"Excuse me? Should they rather be like you, Mr. Grumpypants?"
"Boys.", she interfered, shaking her head. When they finally stopped staring daggers at one another and had their attention back on her, she spoke up again.
"I would be glad if my child is anything like their two uncles.", she stroked both their cheeks and chuckled when they squirmed under it, even if they pretended not to. "You'll be seeing quite a lot of them, A-Xuan agreed that we could spend at least a season a year in Lotus Pier."
"What? Oh wow, I did not think I would ever agree with anything the Peacock says, but that's wonderful!" A-Xian grinned and A-Cheng nodded in agreement, his eyes bright with joy about this.
The three Lotus flowers of Yunmeng would bloom in their unmatched beauty for everyone to see.
Their family would grow, and it was going to be wonderful.
Notes:
How'd you like it? :D I gotta say, the whole sibling hug scene made me tear up while writing x'D but it was also v cathartic somehow...
My ask: So I've been thinking about alternative titles for Wei Wuxian in this scenario. He's the hero of the war in this one, the one who actually defeated Wen Ruohan and saved MANY lives in Ninghtless City, and he will never BE the Yiling patriarch, as he probably won't spend that much time in Yiling anymore in this one lmao. I had it be a name drop here in this chapter, having Yanli talk about how she thought the title harmonized with 'Hanguang-Jun' as WWXs husband and everything, but I just couldn't really find something that convinced me.
I want it to elude to his powers, which of course he won't completely bury, at least not the useful parts that don't actually hurt him or keep any spirits form moving on. So 'Spirit' could def be part of his name, cause I love his bond with spirits. Then the second 'part'/characteristic of the name could be in harmony with 'Light Bearer' - like, 'sender' 'bringer' 'receiver', idk. Unfortunately though, my Mandarin is only in its beginner stages and I don't want to combine anything that sounds weird etc. My only source is the internet OTL. If you have any suggestions, I would totally be ultra thankful and hug you virtually until you're tired of me lmao.ANYWAY. Thanks for reading :3 I would really appreciate your feedback, as always 💕
Next up: Last chapter 😭 The WangXian wedding is happening, then the wedding's ending 👀 and a conclusion to wrap it all up. I was going to do a '10 years later' flash forward but decided against it because I think I like it better open and hopeful :) Or what do you think? I'm not done yet so your input could still influence things 😂🙈.
Chapter 20: Ah, it's more couragous to overcome
Summary:
WWX is fretting and healing in Lotus Pier. Then, WangXian finally get married and have their wedding night. THE END
Notes:
Aaaah I can't believe we're at the last chapter 😭
Thank you all so much for coming with me this far!! 🥰 I'm really thankful to all of you who always write a comment on every chapter or even just one chapter, or even just for leaving Kudos or being here 💕.
2021 was...certainly a year, and a lot of shit happened. I spend pretty much exactly a year writing this, and I'm just gonna say that I'm proud for finishing it, since I haven't written a long fic like this since 2015 (*cough* spn), so it's been a while. I really love this fandom and this story and especially WangXian, my babies. They just deserve this.
Anyway, you might have noticed that I've increased the rating, because there's a steamy scene in this chapter ;D If you're not into reading that kind of stuff, just skip the whole scene after the wedding banquet where WWX wants to say 'thank you' to everyone. End of Sex and short end conversation starts after "Heavens, Lan Zhan."
SO for the last time, please enjoy!! 🥰
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
General POV
There was this feeling of anticipation that built up over months of waiting. He had just wanted to get married to his Lan Zhan and formally adopt their children, after all.
However, tradition and their de facto union of their families was a complicated, long affair drawn out far too long for his liking.
Instead of moping, Wei Wuxian found other things to do. He trained the disciples, played with A-Yuan, learned how to take care of A-Mei, and generally kept himself as busy as possible.
“Are you trying to avoid something?” Wen Qing asked one day, when they were sitting down to document the progress on his core and catalog how the rest of his wounds were healing.
“What? No, what gives you that idea?” he asked back, probably a little bit too fast. Instead of answering right away, Wen Qing eyed him from the side, for a few seconds, then shook her head. Wei Wuxian held back the need to swallow under her scrutiny.
“I guess I just know you too well by now,” she smiled wryly, as if that was a truly regrettable circumstance, but she was also simultaneously pleased by the discovery. It made something like deep fondness stir in Wei Wuxian. “Just promise me you’ll talk to someone, yeah? I know the transition must be hard.”
She was talking about the change in his cultivation, of course. Now that he had a new core, he was trying to rely mostly on this. Without the stygian tiger seal and the yin iron, there was nothing for any ill-intending characters to lust after except his grasp of control over the spirits of the dead. Chenqing however, sat in his belt still every day. He struggled sometimes, with the need to choose. Demonic cultivation induced a lot of dark memories and his abilities in the sword path just weren’t far enough developed to get him through a single night hunt. Cultivating with both paths at the same time seemed impossible. Maybe he would get it eventually. Right now it was simply frustrating.
There was also the transition from war to peace that was grating on him, on them all, in some way. Was it truly over? What was coming next?
“I know. I will.”
“Good.”
Wei Wuxian always valued that she knew when not to push him. This trust in his own ability to know when to talk and when to work through something himself was maybe sometimes misplaced, but he still appreciated it.
“I have nightmares still. Bad ones,” he confessed, after she had written and probed some more. He did not look at her while he said it, instead worked his jaw and tried not to fidget too much.
“I see. Anything in particular?” she asked. “Same recurring scenario, or something different every time?”
“I…” he hesitated. “Mostly different, but it always involves…” he swallowed, not being able to say it right off the bat. “Someone dying, getting hurt, without me being able to do something. Someone important.” He huffs, frustration making his fingers dig into the edge of the chair he is placed on. “And then sometimes it’s just flashbacks…” of the war, of the Burial Mounds, of Lotus Pier burning.
“Well, you have your fair share of traumas, so it’s not a surprise. Thank you for telling me. I can give you a tea to aid with sleep. We should try to keep your alcohol consumption low and try to keep a regular sleep schedule. Maybe your future husband can help you with that, he seems to have it down.”
“I’m not going to bed at nine.” Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes, but he takes the tea that she hands him, and thanks her afterwards.
He’s just so glad she’s here in Lotus Pier with them, and he’s pretty sure she is, too.
This conversation lingers with him over some days, the way she just stated, that he had his fair share of traumas. She was right, of course, but having it said out loud made it…real, somehow. Like something he could grasp, like it was suddenly something that could be aired out like an old linen with holes, instead of shoving it down further and further into the crevices of his mind.
If he truly asked for help for these things, would he be able to start sewing the holes shut?
~~
Other than the nightmares, his training is a great distraction from it all, from the waiting for the wedding, from the nightmares, from the feeling of ‘something will go wrong soon, this is too good to be true’ that just never proved to be right.
It was a glorious moment, when he finally beat Jiang Cheng in a duel again.
“HA!” he yelled, a grin plastered on his face, Suibian still pointed, while Jiang Cheng on the ground was clearly torn between being angry and being just as excited. He settled for a pleased smile, in the end, and shook his head in exasperation.
“Okay, but next time- Xian-Ge!” he shot up to catch his brother, who had suddenly listed to the side, his eyes flickering. The image of his big brother collapsing was just a far too common sight in the last months, Jiang Cheng briefly thought, before the worry overtook all other functions of his brain.
“I’m good, I’m good.” Wei Wuxian quickly swatted him away when the earth was tilted the right way again, and he was able to sit up normally. “Haaah, didi, I’ll never get tired of you calling me that.” Tthe smile was bone-tired but honest.
Jiang Cheng couldn’t help but return it.
Wen Qing did interfere after that, telling him that if he pushed himself anymore she would personally write both Jiang Yanli and Lan Wangji, and then he would be appropriately bullied into taking proper care of himself.
“As if you’re not already doing that quite nicely. Nice pair you two are,” he huffed and looked between Wen Qing and Jiang Cheng, who were staring at him with matching glares for that comment.
~~
In the end, it was how many things went when you waited for them for too long.
The wedding was suddenly there, and Wei Wuxian was being wrapped all in red in Cloud Recess of all places.
“Hey, remember when you said you couldn’t understand how anyone would ever want to marry into the Lan Clan?” Jiang Cheng grinned at him, while he put another knot on his far too complicated belt.
“Shut up.” Wei Wuxian only grumbled. He remembered that very well, yes. It was in fact exactly what had been on his mind when he arrived here yesterday. “At least Lan Zhan also joins the Jiang, so you’re not completely rid of me.” He proved how mature he was by sticking out his tongue to his annoying sect leader of a brother.
“Boys. Please concentrate. We’re already running late.” A-Jie interrupted them gently, appearing in his view on his other side.
“Yes, A-Jie,” they chorused, but the grin did not slip from his face again.
The ceremonies themselves went by so fast that were Wei Wuxian asked later, he would only be able to recall fragments.
Lan Wangji, on the other hand, had cataloged every single moment into his brain. If anyone asked him of his wedding days, he would be able to recall pretty much every detail by heart.
He could tell you about how absolutely stunning and breathtaking Wei Ying looked in his gown, with the hair pinned up artfully with gold ornaments, his patterns with delicate lotus entwined with the occasional cloud. If he was so inclined to speak to you about it, he could tell you every item on the elaborate menu, but most of his retelling, if actually spoken aloud, would be about Wei Ying, Wei Ying, Wei Ying, as that was what his mind was mostly providing throughout the day.
His husband, husband, husband…
One moment was forever searing even into Wei Wuxian’s brain, though;
Lan Zhan, his Lan Zhan, actually fully smiled back at him, when they finished their third bow, and stood together in front of everyone they knew. Wei Wuxian felt himself gasp, quietly, and before he knew it, the tears he had felt already building in his eyes before this, finally spilled over. And then, Lan Wangji leaned down to kiss the liquid away.
“You’re smiling,” he whispered, when Lan Zhan was leaning back again but still close.
“Mn. Only for Wei Ying,” he whispered back.
Wei Wuxian could swear that the heart beating heavily in his chest was melting on the spot.
“Now kiss!” came a shout from the ranks of their guests.
“Not in public!” came another, and Lan Wangji was pretty sure that was his uncle. He did not know who the first shout belonged to, but he complied easily, tilting his head to capture Wei Ying’s lips, plum and painted slightly, making them look so glossy that the temptation had tingled in him all day, anyway.
“Ew. Why would you tell them to do that?” he heard Jiang Wanyin protest, and several people broke out into laughter around them.
Both of them turned to the front, again, facing their families. It was rare, to have everyone they knew together like this. The ceremony in the Cloud Recess was smaller, more intimate, only upholding tradition. But it was all the people that were important to him, before the giant feast with all the other sect leaders and heirs and other important people that would take place in Lotus Pier.
Thank you , Wei Wuxian wanted to say, to all of them.
Just a year ago, the Burial Mounds had robbed him of all his hope, sucked it out of him like he was a cup of water to empty in order to quench their thirst. Now he was here, surrounded by the people he loved, married to the one man he considered to be perfect in all ways.
If he shed a few more tears while making his rounds of hugs and congratulations, nobody said a word about it.
~~
"Finally," Wei Wuxian breathed, after the doors of the Jingshi closed behind them.
They were finally alone, and he could not help but glance over to his husband -husband!- further in the room, taking in his golden and red appearance from head to toe. The wedding robes had been especially made for both of them for this occasion, meaning that they of course fit perfectly. There were too many layers to make out much of a detailed definition, but the form that was visible through the accentuating cut of Lan Zhan’s broad shoulders was very flattering.
With his eyes dark, Wei Wuxian approached Lan Wangji, first with a hand to his shoulder, then drawing it over to his neck, before he finally landed on his jaw to draw him into a kiss.
Lan Wangji did not protest, quite the opposite. As soon as Wei Wuxian approached, he stretched his own hand out and lay it over his slender waist, pulling it flush against his own.
Months and months of being reduced to subtle touches and stolen make out sessions when they slipped their supervisor's sight were culminating in this. Finally, finally , they were alone.
"Lan Zhan." Wei Wuxian whispered between another slide of their lips. "Like we talked about?"
"Mn." Lan Wangji just countered. They had talked, indeed, about many more things than Wei Wuxian would have normally preferred to talk about rather than just experience. But having been supervised for such a long time, their imagination and communication over bedroom stuff had been one of the better sources of courage to tie them over until now.
"Communication about intimacy is very important," Wen Qing had insisted. She had honest to the heavens sat them down separately and told them about the importance of consent and many other sex related topics. Wei Wuxian knew that he himself had left that room as red as he'd ever been in his life.
For his side of the conversation, Lan Wangji had, for all intents and purposes, left with a big stack of notes and things he wanted to suggest to his Wei Ying.
He was still amazed that he got to call him that, now. After all, what was not even that many months ago that Wei Ying had been missing and their fate had been written in the stars about if they would even survive this war. Now, they got to be together, live together, be married....
Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian both were quite positive that they would never quite get down to believe their amount of luck involved in all this.
But right now, Wei Wuxian would very much prefer to not think about Wen Qing, so he put most of that conversation out of his mind, focusing on his husband.
"Can you believe they actually left us under supervision for so damn long-" he kissed Lan Zhan's cheek, his ear, the start of his neck under the ear, slightly nibbling there with his teeth, his tongue.
"It is traditional," Lan Zhan countered between breaths, but he drew it in when Wei Wuxian's tongue made contact. Wei Wuxian drew back, making a face at him.
"As if Jiang Cheng has ever much cared about tradition. He just didn't want us to make out where he could see it."
"Would you want to see Jin Zixuan and Jiang Yanli kiss in public?"
"Ew no, Lan Zhan, of course not." A short pause, and his eyes narrowed at the amused glint in Lan Zhan's eyes. "Stop being right and come here."
Another kiss followed, and any further argument or conversation was straddled by Wei Wuxian's tongue in Lan Wangji's mouth. They stepped backwards, slowly, step by step, until Lan Wangji's shin hit the side of the bed. Wei Wuxian could feel his husband’s lips curve into a slight smile under his own, so he had a slight warning before Lan Wangji firmly grabbed his waist, lifting him up without ceremony or difficulty, guiding Wei Wuxian’s legs around himself.
In a smooth movement, Wei Wuxian found himself lowered to the bed, the little hair that was loose from Lan Wangji's complicated golden headpiece was sprawling around his face as he looked down on him.
They had broken their kiss, only for a second, just to look.
"Beautiful," Lan Wangji whispered, sliding a strand of hair that had come loose from Wei Wuxian's face.
"Right back at you," Wei Wuxian winked, but not without knowing he was already blushing. Accepting compliments was something he was still struggling with, after everything, but with the amount of small nuggets Lan Wangji dished out in lieu of not being able to actually touch him much, he had gotten better at it.
"I guess today marks the day that the list of eligible bachelors has shrunken by two more candidates in the top three," he grinned, wiggling an eyebrow at Lan Wangji. After all, he had been number three -after Jin Zixuan’s wedding- and Lan Wangji number two.
"Mn." Lan Wangji only said, letting his gaze wander from Wei Wuxian's radiant smile to his neck and what exposed skin he could see there. Gently but firmly, he decided to let his own tongue try the taste of his husband's skin and generously sucked and licked at his neck, further and further down with each nibble.
"Ah- Lan Zhan-" Wei Wuxian breathed, overwhelmed by the strange feeling this sent down his spine. "I think we're going to have to get rid of these r-"
"Wei Ying. Quiet.", Lan Wangji interrupted, sounding impatient but also somehow fond.
"Oh? If you want me to shut up, why don't you make me, Lan-er-gege ?" he bit his lower lip and stared down at his husband, just to see his reaction. Slowly, Lan Zhan looked up, his golden eyes hooded and dark with something that was new to Wei Wuxian and made something warm, hot, stir in his stomach.
"As Wei Ying wishes." his deep voice said, and then his other hand, still low on Wei Wuxian's body, suddenly squeezed even higher up his thigh, very high, and Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but gasp.
"Lan Zhan!" he breathed, but it was not a protest, so Lan Wangji found himself slightly smirking and tilting his head down to continue his ministrations of Wei Wuxian's neck while his fingers started to undo the complicated knots of his golden-red wedding robes. With this, Wei Wuxian's own hands started to do the same to him and they both got rid of the outermost layer rather quickly, discarding it off the bed, both not finding the time and nerves to fold them.
Someone would frown about that later, right now they had very important things to do that could not be delayed.
With both their robes slightly more loose, Lan Wangji began to draw them apart at Wei Wuxian's collarbone, letting his mouth follow soon after and pulling on the strings connecting the remaining robes to one another, exposing more and more of the flushed skin to his searching lips and tongue.
Meanwhile, Wei Wuxian let his own hands try and remove Lan Wangji's hairpiece, careful about the delicate pieces, and slightly proud of himself for coming this far with it even though Lan Wangji's lips were driving him fucking crazy with whatever he was doing to his neck.
"Lan Zhan, your ribbon." he whispered into the quiet air between them, knowing now that he could not just remove it as he wished, not without permission. That had been an …interesting conversation with Zewu-Jun that he would probably never forget for the rest of his life.
"You are my husband now. You may remove it."Lan Wangji answered, just as quiet.
"Oh-okay." Wei Wuxian felt himself blushing further, and pushed back Lan Wangji a little, so he could look at him.
"This is important, right? Let's do it properly." he smiled and gingerly let his fingers brush over the thin piece of fabric. He drew over the delicately sewn in cloud symbols of the now red ribbon, fitting the wedding robes, and slowly but surely rounded around the head to arrive at the knot holding it all together. It was not hard, in the end, to knot it free, it seemed to slip with a single pull, without having to fumble with the knot overly much.
The expression on Lan Wangji's face was so tender and warm that Wei Wuxian had to hold his breath for a whole different reason.
"Lan Zhan..."
"Wei Ying." he smiled, a genuine smile, and took the headband out of his fingers, just to start and wrap it completely around Wei Ying's wrist after drawing back the fabric of his robes. When he carefully tied it up in a knot, he kissed the spot where the metal met the skin and gazed up to his husband, seeing that his eyes were glistening with little more liquid than normal, but a warm smile was also settled on his lips, so he did not become too alarmed.
"Mine." Wangji whispered, placed another kiss, this time to his palm.
"Yes, yours. As long as you'll have me."
"Forever." was the answer, and Wei Wuxian's smile turned into a grin.
"Well then, I'll have to hurry with this golden core, huh. If you want to become immortal together."
"Mn.", and his voice was so determined, so sure of it, that Wei Wuxian only smiled wider.
"I'll do it." he insisted. If he could, he would. Only for the thought of never having to leave Lan Zhan behind.
"I believe in Wei Ying. After all, in the Jiang Clan we attempt the impossible, do we not?"
A short silence sat between them, in which Wei Wuxian blinked, twice, then let his grin consume his entire face, bright as the sun.
"Gods above Lan Zhan, now you have to shut up and kiss me, come here." and he pulled him in, for another kiss, then another, lips flush and reddened but neither of them cared.
They finally managed to get rid of most of their robes, the only thing remaining on them were their trousers. With the robes shoved off the bed, Wei Wuxian drew Lan Wangji further onto the mattress, while he readily followed, sitting on top of him.
"I love you" Lan Wangji could not help but say. Wei Ying was just...so beautiful, kiss mussed lips and hair fanning out around his face, smile so radiant that it almost blinded him.
"I love you, too" Wei Wuxian reciprocated, drawing his husband closer once more. Hands wandered down Wei Wuxian’s torso, over his burn scar. It hadn't hurt in years. The other scar, the one from Baxia and the battle in Nightless City, was far more prominent and was the next thing that Lan Wangji and his gentle ministrations and kisses gave attention to. He made his way down his upper body, hands gently undoing the trouser's bindings, too, and finally sliding that away as well. He risked a look down, but no more, because Wei Ying looked at him with those dark, intense eyes and smirked.
"Okay, your turn now. I still have my headgear on, too, you can undo that, mh?"
And with that, he flipped them over with surprising strength and agility, making his own hands and lips make their way down Lan Wangji's upper body. Kisses and licks, lips over his nipples, sucking, all distractions from Lan Wangji's task, to get rid of Wei Ying's headpiece. His fingers were fumbling only a little bit.
Finally, he managed to get the needle out, carefully untangling pieces of his hair before he could let the piece slide to the floor somewhere, hearing it give a quiet clatter. It had looked beautiful on Wei Ying, and he hoped to give him more beautiful headpieces, clothes, everything in the future, more than his simple disciple clothes leather band, flaunting his beautiful husband for the world to see.
A touch on his cock drove all thoughts from his head.
"Is this okay, Lan Zhan?" Wei Ying's voice was quiet and serious, but Lan Wangji did not trust his own voice to speak, so he nodded. Of course it was okay, it was more than okay. He felt like he had never craved any touch more than Wei Ying's slender finger's sliding up and down his length like that.
"Ngh." He sighed, squirming slightly when another sensation was added, namely, something soft and wet, circling the head of his penis. "Wei Ying!" he gasped, and when it suddenly stopped, he felt like he was falling.
"Not good? You have to stop me when you want me to-"
"No. Good." a pause, he tried to draw his thoughts together, tried to think about Wen Qing's tips she had told them. The notes, he’s had notes. Right. "We will say a word, if it's truly too much."
"Mn. Yes, that's a great idea. What word should it be? Normally something we would not think of usually, right?" Wei Ying lay his chin on Lan Wangji's lower belly and smiled up at him. How was this more intimate, more tempting, requiring more control than his mouth's works down there?
"Turnip." Lan Wangji suggested, and Wei Ying snorted.
"Sure. Are you hungry, Lan Zhan?" he teased, his index finger drawing invisible patterns on Lan Wangji’s stomach.
"We just ate." He paused, a small smirk working its way to his face, a small spark of mischief in his golden eyes. "Not hungry for food." He lifted one of his eyebrows, and Wei Wuxian had to take a breath before his laughter took over everything, making him shiver and shake against Lan Wangji's thigh. The way he was casually draped there, both of them naked... Lan Wangji felt he knew what bliss was, now.
"I see. Well, we better continue then, mh?" His cheeky grin was not lost to Lan Wangji, but the hand and lips back on him sure did erase his ability to hold himself up by the elbows, so he dropped back down, sighing into the air.
"I want to hear you, Lan Zhan. Don't hold back." Wei Ying mumbled, and then reapplied his lips, circling, then taking it in, slowly, carefully, while his hands kept going. The next sigh, groan, was not held back by Lan Wangji biting his lips, instead it was breathed into the open air of their rooms. Both letting himself be touched that way and uttering these sounds, betraying his desires, left him feeling vulnerable and open.
He welcomed the feeling.
"Wei Ying-" he gasped, staying his husband's head with a hand on his hair. The questioning sound Wei Ying gave with his throat vibrated all over his groin, and Lan Wangji had to pause before he was able to speak. "Stop, I- It's not long now," he confessed. Was it embarrassing, how short this took? Well, he assumed it probably grew longer with experience.
Wei Wuxian complied, of course, carefully drawing back and smiling up at him.
"Alright, Lan Zhan," he allowed, and Lan Wangji loved him so much. He drew him up, into another kiss and tried to ignore the weird taste on his tongue that quickly disappeared again.
"The oil,"he mumbled, while he flipped them over again, carefully lying Wei Ying down and rummaging beside the bed for where he had put it in a hidden spot near the head.
"Oh? Well, this is going to be fun, you're bigger than I thought, Lan Zhan, let's see if I'll be able to take it." His voice sing-songed while Lan Wangji did indeed find the vial, sprinkling probably too much of the liquid over his fingers, stumbling at the sudden and surprising sentence. He returned his husband's heated gaze and swallowed at the wicked smile Wei Ying gave him.
"Mark your words," he countered, his own mischievous glint growing, while the first finger started to make his way to Wei Ying's entrance. His other hand lifted his husband's left thigh, granting better access to it.
As always, Wei Wuxian was the more vocal between them, mumbling sweet nothings into the air and not holding back with his noises of pleasure. Adjusting his fingers according to what tickled the loudest noise out of his husband was Wangji’s new favorite game.
So many new sensations flooded Wangji’s senses this night that there were instances where he had to pause and just breathe. Never did Wei Ying push him, however, or did Wangji need to push him. They managed to play off one another just as well in this as they did on the battlefield.
“Ah, slow, Lan Zhan. So big,” Wei Ying whispered, when they had both agreed he was stretched enough. Next time they needed to do it more, but Wei Ying was starting to get impatient, and also awfully close already from this.
“Wei Ying can take it. My husband is talented.” Wangji whispered into Wei Ying’s neck, drawing him closer.
The air on his by now rather sweaty nape tingled, and he could not help but chuckle, just a little. It indeed made his shoulders relax, his back uncurl, and Lan Zhan’s cock slid in deeper still.
The breath escaped right out of his lungs again, loud and obscene, at the feeling this elicited. So full. He couldn’t…
“Move, please,” he begged, and Lan Zhan, his good, perfect husband, complied.
It was wonderful, beautiful -and very short lived.
Indeed, it did not take long for both of them to see stars, having to close their eyes for a second before the climax rocked through them.
"Heavens, Lan Zhan." Wei Ying laughed, stroking back strands of Lan Wangji's hair behind his ears, as they lay there, warm under the blanket after having cleaned themselves so they would not sleep feeling all grimy. "If I would ever tell anyone about how you are in the bedroom, they would never believe me."
"Don't." Lan Wangji deadpanned, but not without fondness laced into his tone.
"Ahahaha don't worry, I'm not planning to. Still…" he raised a suggestive eyebrow, drawing the blanket over them more tightly. "Their dear Hanguang-Jun, the Lightbringer, righteous upholder of virtue and all that his good and holy, suggesting and initiating-"
"Wei Ying." There was amusement in his voice, but he did not quite roll his eyes.
"That he would do that to the evil monster that is the Jingshen Muren, shepherd and herder of spirits. Nobody would believe me."
"You are not evil." Lan Wangji's eyebrows drew together, and he kissed his husband’s lips with intent, as if trying to brand this knowledge into him. "Wei Ying deserves the title of Lightbringer far more. He brings the sun whenever he smiles."
"Oh no. Ohhhh ." Wei Wuxian had his head buried in his hands because -what? That was far too sweet! "You can't do that, my heart can’t take it! Next time, you have to warn me!"
"If you insist." Lan Wangji smiled, dropping a kiss to the nape of Wei Wuxian's neck instead because he could reach there, then the top of his hand, peeling it away from his face, revealing a full on pout. The fondness in his chest only rose. "But Wei Ying deserves it," he insisted.
Finally, still red, Wei Wuxian took a deep breath, and smiled, small and content. It reached all the way up to make his eyes sparkle.
"Alright. If Lan Zhan, my wonderful husband, is so sure, it must be so," and he pressed another kiss to his Lan-er-Gege ’s lips. His head rested, then, in the curve of Lan Wangji’s shoulder as if they were meant to fit together like this. In his stomach, Wei Wuxian’s new core hummed with content, well on the way to its old glory.
"Mn." Was all Lan Wangji countered, his own lips tugging at the corners in contentment.
Their sleep that night was peaceful, without any nightmares.
Notes:
This is the first sex scene I've written, like, ...I think ever. So tell me if I did that right 😂 I'm super ace, idk what possessed me lmao.
Thanks to @FiraPolemos5 for providing the very fitting new title for Wei Wuxian! They suggested "Jingshen Muren" or 精神 牧人, Spirit Shepherd, and I thought that was really him, ya know :'D. Because one day, he will figure out how to use his two paths together, and then he'll be unstoppable.
So I scratched the '#10yearslater' ending for an open ending, but I still want to provide you with what I think is in their future, in case you're interested:
• WWX manages to combine the sword path with his demonic cultivation, using the flute to channel the resentment, but not let it into himself anymore, and using his core to cleanse any rest after. This still makes him immensely powerful. He is also still an inventor, and his inventions are used far and wide.
• The Yunmeng Siblings stay super close, and they all gather in Yunmeng in the fall, when the Lotus Pods are ripe and they harvest them together, with their whole family present.
• Wen Qing is chief medic in Lotus Pier and holds conferences for other doctors there. Lotus Pier is soon known to be home to the best doctors in the cultivation world. Wen Ning is also one of them, because I always thought he is just so empathic, he would pick the training back up if he hadn't ...died. Yanli is among them, too, and she invents her own medical cultivation techniques that focus more on precision than force.
• ChengQing marry and have twins seeeeveral years down the road (like, when A-Yuan is 10 or older). The Jiang Twins are known to be talented and also little balls of Mayhem. There's a boy and a girl, and yes the girl inherits Lotus Pier in the end.
• XuanLi have (at least) two more children. In the 10-years-later I had, they had a girl after JL and another one was on the way. JL is way more adjusted, but still a lil spoiled brat.
• A-Yuan and A-Mei grow up between Lotus Pier and Cloud Recess, A-Yuan striving more after their A-Die while A-Mei just strives to be more like their baba every single day. She beats her brother and cousins in archery and everyone but Wanxian is bitter about it. All in all they're a good mix of their adoptive parents though, personality wise. They both get into trouble a lot, but are never truly badly punished for it.
• NMJ, LXC and JGY (Jin Ziyao) are not sworn brothers (as they felt that if they would have sworn a brotherhood between the great sects they would have to include the hero, WWX, and they're just not that close...yet. Also 4 people is a lot so they just swore to work together closer through the new council system), but they're still close. Jin Ziyao is valued by his brother as an advisor and they gather all their half-siblings around them at some point. Jin Zixun gets himself thrown out of the sect with a last act of dumbass (that might be another story for another day lmao).
• The Nie Saber problem gets solved when one day, NHS finds out about it, rocks up to WWX and presents him with a problem to solve being like 'Hey, your cultivation is somehow similar right, Wei-Xiong? Pls save my brother'. WWX gladly agrees. I had a whole plan for this but it just never really fit in so here we are.
• I have honestly no idea what happens to Xue Yang in this, let's just say he's probably dead. Xiao Xingchen and Son Lang join Lotus Pier as previous Rogue Cultivators, and they bring along a little girl, who enjoys the freedom LP brings. Her best friend is A-Mei and nobody is safe from their pranks.YEAH that's it :)
I really hope you enjoyed it!! Tell me if you did, I'd love to hear your thoughts on the whole thing 🥰😘If you want to see more of me, feel free to subscribe to my AO3 account to get updates when I upload another story. If you want to follow me on Social Media, I'm kat-anni or Kat_Anni or Kat__anni on most things (tumblr, twitter, insta respectively), with my various takes on things (mostly mdzs nowadays tho x'D). my tumblr kat-anni-art has all the other accounts linked :).
Afterthought/question: I had a thought that I could publish the deleted scenes I had, like the 10 years later and the one where JC finds out about WWXs core being missing immediately (and some others that didn't fit the flow). I would do that as an extra fic and just put it in a series with this one. Thoughts? :)
Anyway :D I love y'all, thank you so much for reading and being with me on this journey ~ I'll see you on other fics, if mine or other people's we'll see 😘
~Love 💕
KatAnni
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Last Edited Sun 07 Mar 2021 10:58PM UTC
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