Work Text:
i’m afraid to drive now.
i get behind the wheel and instead of seeing the road, i see the car crash, my foot slamming on the breaks for a phantom. my hands shake, my lips tremble, my body running hot yet so, so cold—the engine sputtering, my heart stuttering.
functionally, i’ve moved on: i signed for a new car, paid off the bills from the crash, and successfully drive to and from work. life keeps going, and so will i. truthfully, i can’t sleep. i take my glasses off each night and my vision stays the same.
it was my fault, the insurance says. it was the brakes. i didn’t know they would fail. it wasn’t my fault. it was. it wasn’t. it was.
i forgot to have dinner, which was days ago. my stomach protests anything and everything now, dizzy and sick from an impact that’s not quite long gone. my body is held together by the screws from the car i totaled.