Chapter Text
“I don’t know, this doesn’t really sound like a good idea.”
Ferdinand is quite honestly surprised by Dorothea’s lack of enthusiasm. He had expected her, more than anyone, to cheer him on and be a willing accomplice. He sees now that he has perhaps made an error. “Why? I think it is a perfectly fine, amusing idea!”
She doesn’t look convinced at all.
Ferdinand has to make her understand. “Don’t you see it already? The face he will make, the complete lack of control on the situation he will have! Don’t tell me you don’t dream of throwing him off, even a little bit.”
Dorothea grimaces. “I really don’t.” But she looks away – pensive. “Maybe you have a point. It would be funny, I admit.”
“Ah-ha! Well, allow me to invite you to witness it. I have a plan.”
She smiles, looking the slightest bit amused. “You’re awfully invested in this, Ferdie.”
“Why, yes! Here comes my chance to teach him a good lesson on important matters!”
Dorothea still doesn’t look fully convinced – no matter. His plan is brilliant. She will see.
His friendship with Hubert is – well, barely a friendship. Arguments, battles of wills and petty maintained eye contact are what describe their relationship best. Not that there is any kind of relationship to speak of, of course not, they are merely classmates, with divergent point of views.
It doesn’t matter that Hubert’s wit keeps him on his toes, reminds him to better himself. It doesn’t matter that their brief bits of conversation excite him more than hours of tea drinking with a pretty lady. None of that matters, because even if there were something more, even if Hubert let himself linger for unknown reasons around Ferdinand, it wouldn’t mean anything.
And if Ferdinand hadn’t imagined it, if they truly had found a common ground, shared moments he had thought were meaningful, it still wouldn’t matter. Because Hubert put an end to it, ignored Ferdinand, ended whatever could have grown between them. It is far, far more comfortable to pretend there was nothing to be done about it. That way, Ferdinand can also pretend that his ego wasn’t bruised by this shadow of a man, that his heart didn’t suffer from an impossible loss.
Lorenz, on the other hand, is more than excited to hear about Ferdinand’s plan.
“Oh, Ferdinand, I had no idea you could be so cruel! That sounds entirely too perfect, I cannot wait to see how it plays out.”
Ferdinand fakes a gasp. “Cruel? Me? Lorenz! Never! Anything Hubert will feel, he will deserve. Not that it will affect him all that much! I reckon he will lose his words, maybe feel a bit embarrassed, but ultimately will simply scold me. See? Not cruel at all.”
Lorenz laughs along, but eyes Ferdinand almost the same way Dorothea did – searching. What he wants to find, Ferdinand does not know. He is most sincere, he does not think he will actually hurt Hubert’s feelings.
He has none to begin with.
Hubert tries to go through the day normally. A strategy destined to fail, he has to accommodate for unnecessary feelings, and thoughts.
Ferdinand wants to meet him. Next day, in class, before everyone gets there. He has demanded this – not asked – with a very serious face, and despite Hubert’s suspicions, there is nothing grave going on.
It’s important, he had said, as if not everything in his life seemed to be to him. But Hubert is inclined to believe him, it is not that often he looks so severely worried, preoccupied by how Hubert will react.
He has accepted. Because he had no other choice, but also because it appears he cannot refuse Ferdinand anything if he looks at Hubert with the right amount of vulnerability in his eyes. And so – it haunts him, during the rest of the day. What does Ferdinand needs to talk about, that is so serious he needs to go to Hubert?
Surely it cannot be his loyalty to Edelgard. If he were to announce a class change, he’d know being in Hubert’s sight is the worst thing he can do to optimize his lifespan. Hubert goes through every sound logical reason, questioning everything he can think of. By the end of the day, he has to admit to himself the reason behind Ferdinand’s demand could be something more – personal.
Preposterous, of course. Hubert meticulously made sure to close up every wall he might have let down around Ferdinand. Whatever he might have revealed about his – about himself, Ferdinand must have long forgotten about it. Why bring it up now? Why bring it up at all?
The sun has barely started drying the morning’s dew, when Hubert arrives in the Black Eagle classroom.
There is no one – he had expected as much, but is glad nonetheless.
He didn’t bring anything with him, has only his nerves to entertain himself while Ferdinand surely takes thirty minutes to simply get out of bed. Hubert hates waiting. He makes this a singular exception, for Ferdinand.
Fifteen minutes later, Ferdinand finally graces him with his presence. He look good enough, hair neatly brushed and uniform perfectly in place. Hubert doesn’t know why he expected anything else.
“Ah, I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.”
Hubert scowls. “Let’s just get done with it.”
Ferdinand’s smile falls a little. “Yes, of course.” He looks behind him, as if making sure they’re alone. Hubert is quite certain no one in their right mind would come here now, for no good reason. “So, huh, well…” He doesn’t look at Hubert – not directly.
“If there is something important you have to say, I think now is the moment, Ferdinand.”
Ferdinand looks annoyed. That sight is familiar enough to ease Hubert’s growing confusion. “This isn’t exactly easy for me, Hubert! Listen, there’s something… There’s something I should tell you. Something very important, as I said.”
He doesn’t add anything. Hubert pretends to walk away – hoping it will get Ferdinand to speak faster. “If that is all –”
He doesn’t expect how Ferdinand stops him, the urgency in his actions. He stops Hubert – a hand on his arm. “Wait, Hubert! I –” Then, silence. Hubert stares at him. Ferdinand’s face reddens, not unlike the shade of a tomato. “I love you, most ardently!”
Hubert freezes. He’s entered the trap, there is no way out. Ferdinand spoke loud enough that people would hear it, even outside the classroom. “You what?”
Ferdinand lets him go – looks more nervous than Hubert has ever seen. “I – I cannot pretend I do not. Not anymore. I have fallen in love with you Hubert, deeply. There is no cure, there is nothing to soothe my pain. You must believe me.”
Hubert cannot. This is too theatrical, not one bit believable. But he knows Ferdinand quite well now, there is no lie in his eyes. But his words are so nonsensical, Hubert cannot make sense of them.
Ferdinand takes a step forward. Hubert would never take a step back, and now they are too close. Ferdinand looks at him – too honestly. “I can’t stop thinking about you,” he whispers. “And even if you reject me – I have to know. If you sometimes think about me, too.”
“I…”
He wonders, for a second, if he did wake up this morning. If he didn’t imagine Ferdinand’s request the day before. But surely, his brain cannot come up with such details on Ferdinand’s face.
“I think about you too.”
Ferdinand’s eyes widen, as if he hadn’t expected Hubert to say anything at all. “Do not mock me, Hubert, I understand if you –”
“Clearly you understand nothing. You, your damned hair, your smile – it has hypnotized me as well. I thought it had been obvious.”
He doesn’t know who is more surprised – himself, because he had not meant to reveal as much, or Ferdinand. “What?”
He looks too hopeful. Hubert’s heart beats a little too quickly. “Do I need to repeat myself? I am quite fond of you as well.”
“Then, why did you…”
Hubert knows all too well what Ferdinand is referring to. “I had never anticipated there could be any type of reciprocation on your part,” he explains calmly. That seems to surprise Ferdinand too. Fools, they both are. Hubert doesn’t know why, or how Ferdinand found the courage to voice everything they left unsaid, but he is oddly thankful.
Hubert wants to be daring as well. He puts an audacious hand on Ferdinand’s neck, enjoys the way Ferdinand nearly melts at the contact. He leans down, slowly.
Ferdinand not reciprocating should have been a warning. Hubert now understands why people say love makes you blind.
He feels very distinctly the air Ferdinand exhales, how it brushes against his lips.
He never closes that gap.
“Alright, you win,” Ferdinand says, breathless. He turns to look away. For a traitorous second, Hubert thinks he can fix this. That is, before Ferdinand speaks again. “You’ve outdone me! I must admit as much.”
He takes a few steps backwards, never looking at Hubert in the eyes again. He looks at the entryway, waving at – apparently – no one. “I hope you saw everything!” His voice is higher than usual.
First, he sees Lorenz, clapping generously. Followed by Caspar, Dorothea, and finally, Edelgard.
Hubert feels ill. Hubert never feels ill. He wonders how many firsts Ferdinand will put him through.
“April Fool, Hubert! That – that was quite a performance.” It appears it was. His public stares at him. “Because that was one, right?” Ferdinand looks unsure.
Hubert suddenly feels the need to be cruel. “Ah, how could it be anything else? You must know Ferdinand, there is no other occasion in your life than this particular day to receive love confessions. Today if your day, you’re the biggest fool of all.”
He hears Lorenz gasp. But he doesn’t look at their audience anymore – but at Ferdinand, or more specifically the way his amusement shatters. Hubert wanted to be cruel, he succeeded. “Take that back, Hubert. This was just an amusing joke.”
Hubert smiles. “Take it back? Why, it’s true. You looked so delighted, so surprised, to see your fake feelings returned, you must know it yourself. No one will ever love you that much.”
“Hubert,” Edelgard says firmly. He had nearly forgotten she had seen everything.
“My Lady?”
She, Dorothea and Lorenz are all glaring at him. He hasn’t the slightest idea why – he was the one being publicly humiliated, without his knowledge. Whether Ferdinand knew about Hubert’s true feelings or not does not matter anymore. It has never mattered.
“That’s quite enough. The professor will be there soon.”
He bows, and pretends he does not see Ferdinand running out of the room, carefully hiding his face.
They will not talk about this incident for years.