Love It Or Hate It

by makimonojjk

Summary:

Jimin and Jeongguk hate each other even though they work as part of the same team. No one knows what to do with them but everyone wants to just bang their heads together.

Chapter 1

Jeongguk gets in at 7am sharp. He pats the back of his neck to collect the droplets of sweat that were there from running from the train station to their overseas offices in Japan. A route he has memorised by now. It’s spring, the promise of summer kissing his skin in the early morning and Jeongguk wishes he could appreciate it more instead of being stuck in an air conditioned office for the duration of daylight. Jeongguk scans the office and there is no sign of Jimin yet. Result. His first win of the day.

 

But waiting for Jimin to come in is just as painful as him being earlier than him. He never had any idea what was up his sleeve. This time, it came with coffee for everyone and Jeongguk scowls at him from his desk. Jimin is suited in a grey two piece, fitted like a glove. Something Jeongguk admired about his lean body. He wishes he could stop himself from drinking him in but Jeongguk couldn’t help himself. It’s like putting a plate of donuts in front of Jeongguk and telling him not to take a bite. 

 

Impossible. 

 

Jeongguk’s mouth waters. 

 

“Jeon.” Jimin addresses with that godforsaken smug smile of his. “You may be early but I‘m still everyone’s favourite.” he leans down to whisper in his ear. “I got you an americano.” 

 

His tone reminds Jeongguk of times where they were both naked between sheets and Jimin whispers words of filth in his ears, their bodies pressed together and moving in sync and Jeongguk shudders with the image. Shakes it off in an instant.  

 

“The fact that you know my coffee order is a little disturbing.” 

 

“Or it might just be because I can’t help being obsessed with you, sweetheart.” Jimin winks and Jeongguk resists the urge to flip him off. He sips at his americano with his lips downturned and watches as his coworkers fawn over Jimin. Actually, Jeongguk knew Jimin’s coffee order too and it fit him all too well. A vanilla latte with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Jeongguk hates it. Jimin is just the type of person to ruin coffee. Because anything and everything he did absolutely grates on Jeongguk’s nerves, makes him lose his mind. Jimin makes Jeongguk hate him. It’s all his fault.

 

Jeongguk gathers his list for the day ahead and looks over them one last time, he can feel lingering eyes on him that doesn’t make him uneasy because he knows exactly who it is. Jeongguk needs to get picked for this project, Jimin has taken the last two and Jeongguk is bitter about it. This time, Jeongguk is sure that he has done enough to be able to tip it towards him to present the project to their clients. They file in for their team meeting and Hoseok nudges Jeongguk before it starts, settles just beside him. Jimin, like the suck-up he is, sits right next to the director’s seat just so he could be a little goody-two-shoes and Jeongguk glares at him. So far, they were the only ones in the room and when someone else was with them it was like they had no buffer. They could get mean and meaner. 

 

“You worked hard on this project, Jeongguk.” Jimin starts it, as usual.  

 

“Shut the fuck up, Jimin.” Jeongguk’s words slip out of his mouth without a filter. Jimin makes him like that. Jeongguk doesn’t usually curse but Jimin makes him the most foul-mouthed person in the office. 

 

“What a shame it would be if I got to present all your hard work.” Jimin picks at his nails and Jeongguk presses his lips together, trying not to give in to his taunts. If Jimin got picked, that would be a low blow. But Jimin’s smugness is what would annoy him the most. Hoseok looks between the two of them and sighs loudly. 

 

“You worked hard too, didn’t you? Your hotel room was always lit up because you were working through the night and what will you do when I just take your data to use in my project?” Jeongguk can’t help but retaliate.  

 

“You kept tabs on me. How cute.” 

 

“Do you know what? You both need to just fuck each other to release all this tension you have inside of you for no apparent reason.” Hoseok snaps. “You’re working on the same goddamn project, this is all pointless.” Hoseok gestures between the two of them and Jeongguk can’t help but scoff in attempts to take attention away from the fact that he is fucking blushing . Hoseok doesn’t know how right he is but no matter how many times they fuck each other, it didn’t release anything but more tension.      

 

“If he didn’t have a stick up his ass I could fuck him well.” Jeongguk says with a sneer. 

 

Jimin scoffs at that knowingly. Jimin knew exactly who was getting fucked and he knew he could get in trouble for it later. But Jeongguk likes that. He likes the thrill of it, the sparks up his spine when Jimin gazes at him with hooded eyes. Jimin doesn’t utter a word and that riles Jeongguk up beyond belief. When Jimin is silent, Jeongguk seethes. 

 

Their time runs out when other colleagues filter in and most of the meeting is a blur for him, his eyes fixated on Jimin’s hands resting on the table until the director calls his name. 

 

“Jeongguk, I would like you to lead this project. Your data and propositions are fantastic.” Jeongguk screams in victory inside but only offers the elderly face of the director a small bow of his head. “Anyone have any objections?” 

 

Jeongguk watches as Jimin’s fists clench but of course, there aren’t any spoken objections. Jeongguk gleams, glows with this small victory. Just seeing Jimin’s sour face all day will be enough for him to feel satisfied. Accomplished.         

 

 

-

 

 

Jeongguk manages the project well, their team is strong and easy to manage (bar one long-faced man) and Jeongguk has fun presenting it to their clients. He enjoys being project manager a little more knowing Jimin is pissed at him for it. It’s weird that he feels this way but he just couldn’t help it. 

 

Of course, Jeongguk finds Jimin ridiculously attractive but it also really pisses him off. It’s probably the thing that pisses him off the most, the fact that he has a face sculpted by gods. Annoys him to the point that he would just like to get fucked by him, like Hoseok said, just to take the edge off of this annoyance. Hoseok doesn’t know that Jeongguk finds himself in Jimin’s bed on more than one occasion to get absolutely obliterated. Maybe the feeling of irritation can be a little more malleable if he isn’t so wound up on him.

 

Jimin sits across the room from him, his lean legs crossed over each other as he watches the dull movements of this mandatory business evening following the success of their new project. His eyes are sharp and intimidating, scanning over anyone who attempts to approach him. Jimin’s head is leant back enough to expose the firm line of his neck, the jut of his Adam's apple is prominent, delicious. Jeongguk could just run his teeth and tongue down it and— Jimin’s finger wags in front of his neck, gestures for Jeongguk to raise his eyes. Jeongguk does. His eyes meet the almost feline stare of Jimin’s hooded eyes. A tense moment. The pleasure builds in his stomach from the intense staredown. 

 

Jimin gives him a smirk. The frustration builds. 

 

Eunwoo snaps him out of it and he doesn’t know whether to be thankful or not. He guides Jeongguk towards the bar to buy him a drink and Jeongguk puts on a bit of a show.  

 

It’s always like this with Jimin. The rivalry was fruitless since they worked in the same team but the competition between them seemed endless. Stemming all the way from who worked more efficiently down to where they had their suits tailored. Their matching necklaces hanging from their necks was a reminder of just how petty their conflict was. Because Jimin can’t have anything better than Jeongguk. The tensions rose high and only made them work harder and harder, fighting and elbowing each other until one of them claimed victory. 

 

This time it is Jeongguk. This time, Jimin is sitting in his seat like a sore loser. Refusing to interact and participate in their teams achievements because he was bitter. Because Jimin was Jimin.  

 

And Jimin is a storm. Not the kind you run from but the kind you chase. Chase until you get them right where you want them, and Jeongguk succeeds. Because that’s what he is born to do. Excel at everything in his periphery as well as his sole obligations. That’s who he was. 

 

Jimin’s frustration, or jealousy Jeongguk thinks, oozes out of him in the way his foot taps against the floor. His hands tremble and his jaw is clenched, hard. Jeongguk can see it from all the way across the room. He has studied Jimin’s little ticks pretty closely and it shows. Jeongguk averts his eyes before gets caught again. 

 

He decides to run his palm along Eunwoo’s arm, down the length of it before circling his elbow. Pulls him closer. Adds fuel to the simmering fire. 

 

“Thank you for all of your hard work, it was very much appreciated.” Jeongguk acknowledges. He might have been team leader but he doesn’t let anyone’s efforts go unnoticed. Especially not when they’re as pretty as Eunwoo is. “You should relax and let yourself go tonight.” Jeongguk encourages. Entices. Whispers it a little too close to Eunwoo’s ear. 

 

From the corner of his eye, Jimin spreads his legs, leans his elbows on his knees and watches them with rapt attention. He always fucking sits like his cock is too big and it grinds on Jeongguk’s nerves.  

 

Jeongguk loved games and Jimin knew exactly how to play the game. So he proceeds to play and wonders who will win this game. 

 

“We should dance.” Eunwoo suggests, taking Jeongguk’s dainty hand in his larger palm. Jeongguk didn’t have to try, couldn’t refuse such a sweet request. He nods his head shyly and brings his drink along with him. 

 

They dance slow. Safe. 

 

Eunwoo keeps his distance and they sway gently side to side but it isn’t something Jeongguk was looking for. He wants to get lost, lose his mind to the slow sensual song but this disappoints him. Still. He smiles at Eunwoo and makes small talk about mindless office gossip whilst they dance. Eunwoo gulps his drink down within the first song and excuses himself and Jeongguk stays right where he is, dances by himself for a moment to clear his head. He doesn’t dare to look towards where he knows Jimin is watching. It makes him nervous. Sick to his stomach. A little hot and bothered too.  

 

“Mm, you’re back.” Jeongguk murmurs when his waist is circled with commanding hands. This was what had been missing, this passion and the suggestive hands. It was like heaven and exactly what Jeongguk needed. He tries to turn in Eunwoo’s arms but his fingertips clamp into Jeongguk’s hips, not allowing him to move. They sway to the music before Eunwoo grinds into his ass, his dick half hard. 

 

“Excited?” Jeongguk giggles and Eunwoo says nothing but he grinds down harder into Jeongguk’s ass, his breath hot behind his ear. And Jeongguk wanted to be closer. He leans his head back onto Eunwoo’s shoulder. Jeongguk guides Eunwoo’s palms further down and he gets the hint. Begins thumbing against the divots in his hips, rubbing slow circles in his v line. Jeongguk gulps hard. 

 

Eunwoo’s lips begin to press against his neck, soft. Plump. Jeongguk doesn’t remember his lips being this plump. He whines unintentionally, the sound vibrating through his chest. 

 

He knows what will happen if he opens his eyes right now. 

 

Jeongguk feels along the fingers at his hips. Rings adorned every single one of the fingers and Eunwoo didn’t wear rings. Fuck.  

 

“Knew it.” Jimin whispers into Jeongguk’s ear. Jeongguk can just imagine the smirk he is sporting. The tension builds. Jeongguk’s limbs lock up. Jimin nibbles at his ear lobe and Jeongguk’s knees weaken but Jimin is right there, holding him up. Jeongguk knows exactly what Jimin “knew”. It’s that he turned Jeongguk on. Beyond compare. Like he said, it pisses him off. 

 

“F-fuck you.” Jeongguk spits, his annoyance reaching an all time high. 

 

“Don’t think that’s what you want, sweetheart. Knew it when Hoseok mentioned it,” Jimin tuts. “I know exactly what you want.” Jimin presses a palm to his crotch and Jeongguk jerks his eyes open. He scans the room and hopes to god no one saw that. He knows their fellow colleagues would not be impressed. Not at all. Jeongguk turns and pushes him away, a palm to his chest. A chill settles in as soon as Jimin’s front is not pressed against his back. 

 

“You have my keycard, angel.” Jimin winks, bites his bottom lip and gives Jeongguk that smirk he absolutely despises before he walks backwards away from him. He checks his pockets and true to his word, Jimin has sneaked in his hotel keycard. Jeongguk is so fucked. Jimin is so goddamn hot and Jeongguk is so fucking weak. 

 

 

-

 

 

Jeongguk has another few drinks on his own. Eunwoo had backed away from him, maybe left since he had seen the way he and Jimin had danced but Jeongguk is grateful for it. He twirls the keycard in between his fingers. 

 

Contemplates.

 

He knows where he will end up by the end of the night, however.

 

 

-

 

 

“What would everyone in that conference room say, hm?” Jimin sneers. “Having you under me like this, fucking you within an inch of your life. Would you say you succeeded this time? Would they all be impressed with you now ?” Jimin’s calloused hands run right along his side before he pulls away and lands a hard hit to the side of his thigh. The coolness of his rings is only a temporary relief against his hot skin before the burn of the hit settles. “Answer me.” Jimin growls, low in his throat.

 

Jeongguk had found Jimin out on the balcony of his hotel room, watching the city pass by in the early hours of the morning. Waiting for Jeongguk. And they hadn’t wasted any time before diving at each other. Consuming each other like they were made for it. 

 

“N-no, hyung,” Jeongguk whines and it’s truly unfair. Jimin’s control over him is so unfair it burns at his skin and makes him act out. Jimin’s thrusts are unruly, pounding into the one spot he knows drives Jeongguk absolutely wild. His hips arch off the bed, Jimin’s bed, the sheets clinging to the sweat on his back. Jeongguk doesn’t think. He doesn’t think at all when the next words tumble out. “Still a better project manager than you though.” he pants and Jimin stops. 

 

Jimin barks out an incredulous laugh but that’s not what makes Jeongguk angry. What makes Jeongguk angry is that he stopped . Jeongguk just had to run his silly little mouth when he was almost on the verge of the best orgasm of his life.

 

“You’ve done it now, little boy.” Jimin purrs. His voice is melodic, a symphony close to his ear but his eyes say otherwise. Condescending. Threatening. Just how Jeongguk likes it. Jimin’s palms inch Jeongguk’s thighs up, so he is almost bent in half and he begins to fuck into him hard . Jeongguk’s high pitched whines have nowhere to go except out in the open. His hands clench into the sheets tightly, the only grounding he has as he gets pounded. The slick sounds, the harsh snap of Jimin’s hip bones hitting against Jeongguk’s ass cheeks is too loud in the room. Echoes off the walls. 

 

“Don’t think just because you’re with me right now that this is real.” Jimin murmurs, in that low voice that he brings out when Jeongguk gets slightly starry eyed when their eyes lock. Because this time, Jeongguk has won. And Jimin isn’t going to be kind. Jeongguk ignores it. Ignores how it hurts a little more than he would like.  

 

“Don’t stop, fuck, don’t stop.” Jeongguk begs instead. Focuses on the way Jimin’s cock feels against his plush insides, his soft warmth. Jimin’s cock is thick and the tip brushes against his prostate again and again teasingly, like Jimin knows exactly what he is doing. He’s so fucking angry. 

 

“Take what I'm willing to give, love it or hate it.” Jimin leans his body over Jeongguk, their bodies pressed together. “Don’t fucking ask for more. Or better yet, why don’t you ask fucking Eunwoo to do this for you, hm?” another hit resounds on the back of his thigh, he can feel the way the muscle ripples from the impact.  

 

“I’m taking it,” Jeongguk pants. “Love it...taking it, hyung.” Jeongguk manages to speak his mind in the haze of lust. He will regret the words tomorrow but for now. Just tonight. He will let himself speak his mind and Jimin takes pity. Moves again and thrusts into him, noticeably more intimate. Their sweat ridden bodies rub together sensually, catching on each other's hollows. Their nipples brush together and Jeongguk groans, fists his hand into the back of Jimin’s hair. A movement so arousing it has Jeongguk throwing his head back, babbling words that he wouldn’t usually. 

 

“Say the words I need to hear, pretty.” Jimin demands and Jeongguk could be a brat some more. Could drag it out a bit more. Make Jimin stay a little longer. But the night has been long and Jeongguk wants it to end with him satiated at the very least. “The only words for me.”  

 

“Let me come, master.” Jeongguk gasps because when they’re like this, Jimin will always be the one who is in control. The only time Jeongguk gave it up and it made him furious.

 

Enraged. 

 

Jimin changes the angle of his thrusts and fucks him right where he needs it most, rubs into where it will make him come untouched. Jimin must feel it in the way Jeongguk’s body trembles, the way his legs shake when he fucks into him because just as he’s on the brink of coming, Jimin presses their foreheads together and looks him in the eye. 

 

“Come for me, baby.” he breathes the words onto Jeongguk’s lips and it’s all Jeongguk needs to topple over the edge. His fingernails dig into the skin of Jimin’s back, leaving lines of red as he drags them down his back as he comes. Jimin always made him come the hardest, come the most. Jeongguk was so invested in his high that he hadn’t noticed Jimin coming before he had already pulled out and was pulling his clothes back on in silence. 

 

This was when the high wore off.  

 

“See you tomorrow at work, brat.” Jimin mumbles and before Jeongguk can even think, can even say another word - Jimin presses a soft kiss into his lips. Unexpected. Chaste. But still there. He doesn’t even mention the way Jeongguk had hurt him on his back, the red lines leaving streaks of blood in its wake. That’s a first.  

 

“Hey, Jimin-ssi.” Jeongguk calls. Jimin doesn’t turn around but leaves a hand on the door handle. “Fuck you.” 

 

Jeongguk sees the way his shoulder shakes with laughter. He doesn’t feel an ounce of guilt about sleeping in Jimin’s hotel room. Jimin could have easily stayed but he never does. 

 

Jimin never says anything about this little game that they share. It’s what makes Jeongguk so resentful. He wonders if it will ever be any different.

 

Jeongguk takes what he gets. Jeongguk is still so fucking angry.

 

 

-

 

 

Jeongguk wakes up in Jimin’s bed alone, his scent still lingers on the sheets and Jeongguk swallows down the curse words threatening to fall out of his lips to no one in particular. Mostly to himself. The lingering disgust he feels at himself for doing this again . Again and again. He wonders how many times he would just fall at Jimin’s feet with just one touch from him. Jeongguk groans loudly as he lays on his stomach and buries his face in Jimin’s pillow.   

 

“About time you woke up, sleeping beauty.” 

 

The words make Jeongguk’s limbs lock up and he knows he looks a mess. His ruffled bed hair and his puffy eyes. Fuck Jimin and his stupid need to one up Jeongguk every single time. To look better than him every single time. Because when Jeongguk raises his head and sees Jimin fresh out the shower, dressed bar his shirt being fully unbuttoned, Jeongguk nearly loses it. He sits there, his face smug and smirks at Jeongguk knowingly and Jeongguk despises it.

 

“Why are you here?” Jeongguk’s voice is deep with sleep, he clears his throat and rubs at his eyes, still laying on his stomach. Jimin stands from his seat and edges towards where Jeongguk lays in the middle of the bed. Jimin’s bed. 

 

“You’re asking me what I’m doing in my room?” Jimin raises an eyebrow and his hands skirt against the bedsheets like he was debating coming closer to touch Jeongguk. 

 

Jeongguk doesn’t answer that. Jimin takes that as a cue to hike up one knee to lean against the bed and brushes his thumb against Jeongguk’s bottom lip and it prompts him to wet it with his tongue. 

 

“Oh? Someone’s a little bit excited this morning,” Jimin suggests as he watches Jeongguk press his hips down into the mattress. 

 

“It’s morning.” Jeongguk groans and slaps Jimin’s hand away. Jimin chuckles lightly and pulls the sheets away from his naked body. “Jimin, what–,” Jeongguk shivers at the cold air, his naked body curling into himself. 

 

“We have time.” Jimin mentions, presses a kiss to Jeongguk’s nape and follows a path down his spine. Jeongguk’s hips rut against the mattress at the sensation of Jimin’s mouth, his tongue, his teeth. “Want to take care of you so you won’t give me such a hard time today.” 

 

“Impossible.” Jeongguk grumbles but he turns at the command of Jimin’s hand so he’s lying on his back. 

 

“Always so mouthy.” Jimin rolls his eyes but attaches his lips to Jeongguk’s neck, sucking on his skin but being careful not to leave any marks. 

 

“Jimin,” Jeongguk’s voice can’t help but be a little bit whiny. Almost frenzied. Because this was what Jimin did to him, always. 

 

“I’m going to put my mouth on you, okay?” Jimin asks softly, a contrast to his demands last night.  

 

“No–” Jeongguk shakes his head. Not because he didn’t want it but because sometimes he felt too vulnerable to be the only one on the receiving end. 

 

“Only because I’m already dressed and don’t want to get messy, calm down.” Jimin says the words against the warm skin of his chest, his lips brushing against Jeongguk’s hard nipples.

 

“O-okay, you don’t need…?” 

 

“I’m good, sweetheart.” Jimin smiles for just a moment and Jeongguk loves it when he smiles. Not when he’s smirking or taunting Jeongguk but Jimin’s real smile makes Jeongguk’s heart happy. Makes him tingle from the inside out.

 

“You’re not fully dressed, your shirt is halfway undone.” 

 

“It’s just to give you something pretty to look at,” Jimin presses a smile into his pec, just next to his nipple and Jeongguk squirms. “Looks like it worked.” Jimin smirks when his hand wraps around Jeongguk’s half hard length. He nuzzles into Jeongguk’s neck one more time, beneath his jaw and kisses his neck before he crawls down his body. 

 

“Just get on with it,” Jeongguk mumbles. Jimin doesn’t respond, well he couldn’t, his mouth was already full of Jeongguk. Too busy actually doing what he said he was going to do. Jimin settles nicely in between his legs and Jeongguk looks down at him just for a moment and can’t help but think how perfect he looks down there. Jeongguk can see the curve of his ass too and that’s always a bonus. 

 

“Just wanted to do this.” Jimin murmurs against the wet head of his cock, licks at it painstakingly slowly. Torturous. Jeongguk locks Jimin’s head into place with his legs around his back.  

 

“Don’t.” Jeongguk warns. 

 

“Don’t what?” A kiss to the head of his cock. 

 

“Don’t tease me, Jimin.”

 

So Jimin doesn’t. It’s always like this. When Jimin has his mouth on Jeongguk, he has no problem making him shake and tremble within minutes. Jeongguk’s breath catches in his throat and there is no way he could keep lewd sounds from escaping his mouth, not when Jimin was so good at this. It’s like he works hard just for Jeongguk’s pleasure and it’s more than incredible; Jeongguk is in awe of him.

 

“Pass the lube, you’re still opened up well from last night.” Jimin’s voice vibrates along his length and Jeongguk is quick to pass it to him. He lubes up two fingers and presses them in and engulfs Jeongguk’s cock into his mouth at the same time as though he is starved of it. Jimin’s fingers prod around his soft insides before he finds exactly what he’s looking for.  

 

“Sensitive?” Jimin pulls off to say when his cock jerks in his mouth, a moan that Jeongguk tries to suppress but just comes out lowered in decibel. Jeongguk lets go of the sheets in his fist and instead brushes them through Jimin’s damp hair, his fingers thread through and force Jimin’s face down, his fist clenched hard. A clear answer without saying a word. The retaliating moan Jimin gives him is satisfying enough. 

 

Jimin continues a steady rhythm with his fingers and swirls his tongue just right, just how Jeongguk likes it and it’s amazing. Gratifying like no one else can even imagine to make him feel. He swallows hard, his mouth dry and pants through silly words for more, more of Jimin’s mouth, more of his touch. Everything. 

 

“How are you this fucking good with your mouth, hyung.” and that seems to be a push to the right direction because Jimin relaxes his throat, goes down deep until Jeongguk’s cock hits the back of his throat. Jeongguk can feel his tip leaking down Jimin’s throat, wet and messy, but Jimin takes it all in haste. As though he was hungry for a taste of Jeongguk. “Oh, t-that feels so nice, fuck –,”

 

Jimin takes all of him and his mouth feels so warm and wet, it makes Jeongguk choke on a groan. His hands stroke Jimin’s hair fighting the urge to just pull on it and make him go even deeper. But he resists. A small sign of submission. His mouth pops off and Jimin suckles at the tip for a moment and Jeongguk thrashes around on the sheets. “Fuck! I’m gonna come, you’re going to make me come jesus fuck.” Jeongguk growls through clenched teeth. 

 

“‘S the whole point, Gguk-ah.” Jimin chuckles and crookes his fingers inside Jeongguk before he closes his lips around Jeongguk’s red, aching cock. 

 

“Yes, Jiminie,” his voice weakens, drops down just like his body does. Relaxes completely and melts into Jimin’s sheets. He is completely enamoured, surrounded by Jimin. He takes one more look down at Jimin and he is beautiful. A sight beyond perfection. Flushed, tears lining his eyes and his eyes are looking right at Jeongguk too. 

 

“I’m gonna…” Jeongguk begins to warn, his voice soft but clogged with his heart trying to jump out of his mouth. Jimin’s fingers press deeper and his tongue works wonders and that’s all it takes for him.    

 

When Jeongguk is just about to come, his body turns frigid and he tries to move away from Jimin’s mouth but Jimin tugs his hips down, holds him down tighter with his forearms attached to his torso and sucks harder and that’s all it takes before Jeongguk is yelping out a slew of pretty moans as he comes. 

 

“That’s it pretty baby.” Jimin says quietly with his gentle voice, collecting the last drops of Jeongguk’s come on his tongue. The words make him feel like he’s flying high and he can’t help but let himself smile, a small bubble of laughter threatening to escape him. 

 

“Fuck.” Jeongguk exhales deep and his body is limp, his head drops down onto the pillows and his eyes flutter shut for a moment to recollect himself.       

 

Jimin rolls Jeongguk to the side, manhandles him until he lays in his post coital glow in Jimin’s arms wrapped loosely around him. Jimin presses a kiss into his hair, inhales deep like he is savouring it before he holds Jeongguk a little tighter so they are pressed together. Jeongguk looks up at Jimin, his eyes soft and round, and reaches up for a gentle press of their lips. He can tell it surprises Jimin but it is too late to take it back. Jeongguk wonders why Jimin left last night when they could have had this for the night...all night.     

 

“Where did you sleep?” Jeongguk asks instead of “why did you leave?” . 

 

“In your room.” Jimin murmurs. “Trashed it whilst I was at it.”   

 

“Good one, Park.” Jeongguk scoffs and his voice is still deep. The remnants of sleep lace his voice. “This is how deep it gets when I finally overtake you, huh?” 

 

“I thought we established that there are no imbalances when I fucked you last night. Or made you come just now,” Jimin smirks and Jeongguk’s stomach churns in anticipation when Jimin detaches himself from Jeongguk’s naked body and stands up, the body heat they were sharing gone just like that. They never established anything. “Because I will always fuck you. Screw you down under my foot…” 

 

“Not anymore.” the words slip from Jeongguk’s mouth completely unfiltered.  

 

“Oh, really?” 

 

“Yes. Really. I’m done, Park.” Jeongguk declares. And he has absolutely said these words before but something about this time. Something in the way Jimin’s eyes dull with disappointment that makes Jeongguk believe himself just a little bit more. 

 

“We’ll see.” 

 

Jimin changes his stance in a moment, leans back against the dresser after he does up his shirt, his arms crossed against his chest. A defence mechanism. Maybe his chest hurts just as bad as Jeongguk’s does. 

 

“I always get you on your knees for me.” the hostility in his voice pricks at Jeongguk’s heart. A knock between his ribs. Because this is all it is for Jimin. A silly little game. Jeongguk stares at him for a moment, drinks him in, basks in the scent coming off his body and the steam from the ensuite where Jimin had just showered. The scent that was just suffocating him moments prior. And then, without another word, Jeongguk slips from his bed and gathers his clothes to put them on. 

 

Jimin watches as he does so and the tension between them sizzles hot and loud. Neither of them speak, they let the silence linger until Jeongguk is fully dressed and reaches for the door. He internally debates whether he should say goodbye, or say anything at all but he decides against it and the door clicks shut behind him. The silence rings in his ears hours afterwards and he wonders why it had been like that this time. Why is this time any different?

 

When Jeongguk had got back to his room, it wasn’t trashed at all. 

 

 

- 

 

 

They go to work on that same day as usual but normally when Jimin stares at him and makes him squirm, gives him those small little smirks that drive him absolutely crazy, this time Jimin avoids looking at Jeongguk entirely. Completely disregards him and Jeongguk doesn’t know why it affects him so much. 

 

Inadvertently, Jeongguk vies for his attention. Makes sure to look at him, tries catching his eyes and fails. Maybe it’s what Jeongguk had told him before he left his room or maybe it is nothing at all and Jeongguk is looking too much into things. Whatever it is, this time it makes Jeongguk upset and not angry. For once, his heart burns like a dwindling fire rather than burning with maddening rage.  

 

Despite the relationship he has with Jimin, he knew deep down Jimin was great at his job and an amazing person. He had no idea where this competition even stemmed from or how he found himself in Jimin’s bed at the end of some nights but he had. And Jeongguk didn’t despise it as much as he liked to admit. But it was a case of once they had started, there was just no turning back. They had been at it for too long to just suddenly stop or even think about what they were doing. Jimin had been working for the company longer than Jeongguk had but this had been the way they were since the very beginning. It had almost a whole year. Jeongguk has no idea how to stop whatever it is they have going on. They had left it too late.  

 

Jeongguk isn’t in-tune with his feelings and he would rather let Jimin win every time than talk about what he was feeling. And he had a strong feeling that Jimin felt the same way about admitting feelings or talking about their feelings in general. But that is if Jimin had any feelings for him at all, it is an absolutely ridiculous thought. Jeongguk has no idea why Jimin chose Jeongguk to fuck around with when they both admittedly hated each other. 

 

The rest of their work week is spent with Jimin ignoring Jeongguk and Jeongguk has enough. He ignores him right back. Jeongguk acts like it doesn’t affect him in the slightest when regrettably, it does. 

 

Jeongguk only allows himself to think about it late at night when he can’t sleep. He lets himself feel and think and cry and has come to the conclusion that Jimin is more than just a rival. He checks up on Jeongguk in ways that seem like he is being mean but the anonymously delivered lunches when he is too busy for a break and the coffee’s in the morning, the subtle interruptions when team meetings get a bit too heated or the sudden disappearance of paperwork on his desk. It was all very discreet but never unnoticed. And he wonders just why Jimin would do things like that for him when they were supposedly enemies who liked to fuck each other. There is something more, there has always been something more to them but Jeongguk just doesn’t know what . 

 

It isn’t until the flight back home to Seoul that they get a chance to talk to each other as their seats are conveniently placed next to each other. Jimin sighs exasperatedly when he sees Jeongguk set his carry on bag next to his seat. 

 

“Problem?” 

 

“Not at all.” Jimin fake smiles. 

 

Jeongguk drops down in his seat with a tired sigh. He just wants to go home and have a long weekend break without seeing Jimin’s face. Jeongguk could book himself in for a massage or something to get all the knots in his back released. Perhaps he could be nicer to Jimin then. He shudders at the thought. They only had to endure these two hours in this enclosed space together. That is all. 

 

Jimin takes out his work laptop and begins working and it agitates Jeongguk. He tries his hardest not to say anything but it’s like just being in Jimin’s vicinity infuriates him and makes him act out.  

 

“Really?” Jeongguk scoffs. “Just because I’m sitting next to you, you're going to work?” 

 

“Keep your mouth shut, Jeon.” Jimin mutters. “It’s none of your business.”

 

“What the hell is your problem?” 

 

Jimin stares at him for a beat, looks down at the length of his torso before looking into his eyes again. Shameless. 

 

“You.” Jimin whispers, his voice gravelly and low. The tone of it always hits Jeongguk right in his stomach. “All of you.” 

 

Jeongguk lets out an incredulous laugh but nothing is funny. Jimin continues to stare at him down with slitted eyes, mean and tumultuous. Like Jeongguk has ruined him. “You’re insane.”

 

And before Jeongguk does something stupid, he stands up and heads towards the bathroom. Somewhere he could breathe for a moment, splash some cool water on his face and collect himself. But before he could close the door shut, a foot is in the way of the door and Jimin pushes his way in and grabs Jeongguk by the neck. He smashes their lips together in a bruising kiss, harsh and fierce. 

 

“What the f-fuck–, ah , are you doing?”

 

“You’re so fucking infuriating , did you know that?” Jimin spits, his voice trembles but the resentment for Jeongguk is crystal clear. Jimin surges forward to shut Jeongguk up before he could get a chance to speak, his tongue licks at Jeongguk’s bottom lip, his teeth biting and borderline painful. Jeongguk moans low from his chest, his hands press against Jimin’s chest for some semblance of space because if they were pressed any closer then Jeongguk would lose it. Give in to the perfect pressure between their legs and between their lips. But he resists just a little. 

 

Except Jimin doesn’t like it. 

 

His hands wander down Jeongguk’s midriff, rub down his sides and round to the small of his back to press their hips together. Jimin uses his other hand to remove Jeongguk’s hands from his chest so they could get closer. This way, Jimin breaks their desperate kiss and kisses down his chin instead, taking extra care to press a kiss against his mole. Jimin kisses along Jeongguk’s sharp jaw, bites against the jut of his bones and kisses open-mouthed down the length of his throat. He shoves Jeongguk’s shirt open, his top buttons forced to break, before Jimin’s hot mouth sucks on his clavicle.  

 

“Why are you doing this?” Jeongguk manages to pant through the lust-filled haze he finds himself in whenever Jimin is this close. His words are contradictory as he grinds into Jimin’s erection, his hands clutching at Jimin wherever he can. “You ignore me all these days and now you want to use me, like I’m only here for you to do this with.”       

 

“Do you need me to tape your fucking mouth shut?”

 

Jeongguk doesn’t answer him. Instead, he decides this is the only time he can talk to Jimin properly so he does. He takes the lunge despite the array of ways this could go. 

 

“Why are you ignoring me?” Jeongguk mutters and wraps his hand around the back of Jimin’s neck. Pulls him closer so that their lips are hovering. “You want to fuck me now but have been ignoring me for the past few days? What the fuck is up with that?” 

 

“Why would I waste my time on someone as irrelevant as you, Jeongguk?” Jimin’s voice shakes. Jeongguk ignores the sharp pain that threatens to tear open his chest and shakes his head. 

 

“Is this because I was project manager? If I had known it meant so much to you I wouldn’t have even tried so hard.” 

 

“It doesn’t mean jack shit to me,” Jimin’s fingers press deeper into the skin of his hips. Nails leaving red marks and indents but Jeongguk doesn’t care.  

 

“If you’re going to fuck me then just do it, people are probably waiting to use the restroom.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes. Has had enough of this conversation and wants Jimin to be done already if this is all he wants. If all he wants is to use Jeongguk this way, fuck him because it’s the only way he can get Jeongguk to be under him then he will let it be. Jeongguk’s eyes flutter close in defeat. 

 

“You’re right.” Jimin mumbles against Jeongguk’s lips. “I’m sorry.” Jimin whispers and Jeongguk opens his eyes to Jimin’s blown out and wide. Jeongguk knows Jimin is sorry for more than this situation but he tries not to let it show in his own eyes. Not like the way Jimin looks at him now. Raw and unfiltered. Like Jeongguk can see right through to his soul.  

 

“Knew you wouldn’t do it, you piece of shit.” Jeongguk scoffs, tries to lighten the mood. Or try to go back to some kind of normalcy where they insult each other regularly. But Jimin doesn’t utter a word in response and Jeongguk’s mind stalls. Jimin’s eyes harden again, back to being hooded and secretive. Jeongguk’s resolve melts. Jimin is the first to leave, unlocks the door and hurries out the door. Jeongguk follows soon after with his heart in his throat, his hands shaking because he has no idea what the fuck is happening. 

 

“I’ll sit in economy, I just want to change seats.” he hears Jimin saying to the stewardess. There was only an hour left of the flight. Surely Jimin couldn’t be that petty. He runs his hands through his hair, frustrated. Jeongguk’s heart sinks down to his stomach. 

 

“It’s only an hour, Jimin.” Jeongguk settles in his seat and looks up at Jimin. “Don’t make such a scene.” He has no idea what his words sound like but Jimin clenches his jaw and sits down again without a word. “Sorry for the trouble.” Jeongguk says to the stewardess just to make a point. Jimin doesn’t say a word in response. Anger clouds Jeongguk’s mind and he makes himself tamp down on the sadness and let the fury consume him instead. 

 

 

-

 

 

Jeongguk was so fucking angry. He is outraged. He didn’t keep a 100% attendance in line with Jimin just for this. Jeongguk didn’t force himself to come into work when he was so unwell he couldn’t breathe for this . He is absolutely not going to have it.

 

“Where is Jimin? It’s been two days.” is the first thing Jeongguk says to his manager. The Monday after they had returned, Jeongguk came into the office with Jimin’s coffee but he was nowhere to be found. It had knocked him down and startled him. Jimin wouldn’t just miss a day of work just like that. There is either something wrong or he is going to extreme lengths just to avoid Jeongguk.     

 

“He’s sick, Jeongguk.” 

 

“He was fine when we were in Japan.” 

 

“Jeongguk.” Namjoon says, incredulous. Then after a beat of silence. “You know for someone who claims they hate him so much, you’re very worried about him.” 

 

“I need the spreadsheets that he does as soon as possible, I don’t have time for people being sick.” 

 

“Hey, calm down.” Namjoon’s eyebrows furrow. “That’s not nice, he sounded really ill on the phone when he called.” 

 

Jeongguk backtracks. Falters. Namjoon is right, he is being a terrible person. 

 

“I-I’m sorry, I’m just stressed.” 

 

“I get it, you guys work together as a team and you feel out of sorts, right?” Miserable is what he feels but he wouldn’t dare to admit it. Not to their manager of all people. 

 

“Yeah…” Jeongguk sighs and slumps down in his chair. “Yeah, that’s one way to put it.”

 

“He must be feeling pretty lonely right now honestly.” Namjoon hands him Jimin’s schedule. “His whole life is his job and he ruined his perfect attendance, I can’t imagine he would be exactly happy about that. I want you to do whatever hasn’t been done on his schedule or filter it down, discuss with fellow colleagues and only take what you can handle, understand?” 

 

“Understood.” Jeongguk nods and scurries out of Namjoon’s office with an unwanted weight on his shoulder. Jimin is sick and Jeongguk doesn’t know why he cares so much. During the rest of the day, Jeongguk tries and fails to smother himself in the piles of work he has left to do. But regardless, it goes by in a blur of dull work and office chatter. Since Jimin has been sick it just doesn’t feel the same. Jeongguk feels lost whilst he is at work and it is almost like homesickness because Jimin is gone. There is no one to lean on and no one to make it more exciting.

 

When Jeongguk finishes that night, he is still restless. He fidgets more than he usually does on the train home and fights the urge to just work some more. Jeongguk doesn’t like to be left alone with his thoughts too much, it suffocates him. It is even worse when said thoughts are filled with Jimin. Maybe a text would suffice and make him feel more settled. For once, Jeongguk ignores his pride and sends the godforsaken text. 

 

‘How are you feeling?’ 

 

It is to the point and just what Jeongguk needs to know. No greeting, no pleasantries. He just needs to know if Jimin is okay, that’s all. 

 

Then, Jeongguk becomes obsessive. 

 

He checks his phone every few minutes and he receives no response. He gets impatient. Worried. And Jimin still doesn’t respond, not even hours later when the clock is close to hitting almost midnight and Jeongguk can’t take a second of it anymore.  

 

The less Jeongguk knew, the more he wanted Jimin close. 

 

He throws his covers off because there is no way he will be able to sleep when Jimin is consuming his entire mind. And he doesn’t waste a second, he grabs his shoes and a jacket and makes his way to Jimin’s apartment. He hasn’t frequented the place often, a couple of times just to fuck but he hasn’t stayed long enough to admire Jimin’s home. 

 

Jeongguk also manages to pick up some soup, tea and some medicine from the convenience store in case Jimin hasn’t eaten anything before he makes his way to Jimin’s apartment. Jeongguk buzzes continuously on Jimin’s apartment number until finally he is let in, almost half an hour later. Jeongguk is determined to see Jimin tonight. Jimin waits for him inside the door, a blanket wrapped around him with a red nose and puffy cheeks. Jeongguk tries not to melt at the sight. 

 

“What are you doing here?” Jimin croaks, his eye bags set deep into his skin and looking almost purple. Jimin didn’t look good at all. 

 

“To check on you, why else.” Jeongguk fights the urge to roll his eyes and forces his way forward so he could let himself in since Jimin wasn’t budging an inch. 

 

“Jeongguk.” Jimin’s disuse of his voice is evident and Jeongguk’s heart feels strange. Painful. He continues to walk inside his house and sets the bag of supplies down on the kitchen counter.  

 

“I bought you soup and some medicine and tea…” Jeongguk turns towards him. “Tea is meant to make you feel better, right?” 

 

“You didn’t have to.” Jimin sighs, his body sags and it’s hard for Jeongguk to see him this way. Not when Jimin took such pride in holding himself up. Being so strong and fearless. Jeongguk didn’t enjoy seeing him this way no matter what.  

 

“I wanted to.” Jeongguk hopes that his answer could convey what he really thinks. Wishful thinking.  

 

“Why?” 

 

Jeongguk shrugs. 

 

“You didn’t answer my texts.” Jeongguk adds on. “I was so worried,” he thinks but finds it hard to voice out.

 

“I was asleep, I’m sorry.” Jimin looks apologetic but it only makes Jeongguk feel bad. Worse than he already did. Jimin’s body shivers even with the blanket wrapped tightly around him and Jeongguk knows he needs someone to care for him. Jeongguk wanted to be that person even if it is only for the night. 

 

“You’re shivering, hyung.” Jeongguk takes a step towards him and his hands are fruitless by his side. He so badly wanted to pull Jimin into his arms and cradle him to make him feel better but Jeongguk is so confused as to what is allowed and what is not. “Do you want to get back into bed? I’ll bring you everything you need.” 

 

Jimin nods slowly and then hesitates before he reaches for Jeongguk. Pulls him in by his arms. “Will you hold me?” The desperation in his voice is unusual and it sets off a deep ache inside of Jeongguk. Triggers the softening of Jeongguk’s heart for Jimin’s small face and warm body.   

 

“Of course.” Jeongguk whispers, choking on his words. The request was soft, filled with warmth and the inkling of vulnerability shining through which he had never seen Jimin display. “I’ll be right there, okay?” Jeongguk murmurs, just as gentle. Jimin nods in thanks before he shuffles into his room.

 

Jeongguk gets to work on the soup and makes some hot tea with honey for Jimin and brings it to him in a tray he finds on the top shelf of an empty cupboard. Jeongguk notices the empty fridge and lack of food but keeps his mouth shut. It isn’t his place to say anything. 

 

“Want me to feed you too?” Jeongguk is all too aware of how demeaning it sounds but he really doesn’t mean it in that way. It’s a difficult feat distinguishing between what’s real and what’s part of their silly little games. Jimin just gestures for the soup and Jeongguk sits on the bed, his eyes not leaving Jimin until the majority of the soup is gone. Jeongguk forces the warm cup of tea in his hands too with the medicine and Jimin takes it without complaint. Even though Jeongguk sees the way he struggles to finish it all.  

 

“God, I already feel much better.” Jimin sighs, his voice sounding a little more clearer. 

 

“You scared me there for a second, hyung.” Jeongguk mumbles, the words were meant to stay locked away but he can’t help but speak his mind when Jimin looks so open and willing to listen to him. “I thought you had left me with no one to fuck my mind up. No one to play with...” it isn’t the exact words Jeongguk wanted to voice, he just can’t help himself. Jimin made him incoherent almost. Like a dark film overtaking his mind when he is in Jimin’s presence not allowing him to filter his words. 

 

Jeongguk crawls up towards the headboard and adjusts Jimin’s pillow beneath him before climbing into the sheets and chasing Jimin’s warmth. He opens his arms out for Jimin, gives him a choice of whether he wants to fulfill his own request. Jimin does. Gently pulls himself closer to Jeongguk to settle into his arms and then there is a minute, maybe two, of silence before Jimin lets out a breath. 

 

“Jiminie?” Jeongguk whispers and then Jimin is holding onto him tight, clutching his shirt in his hands. Jimin’s arms wrap tight around Jeongguk’s waist and his faze nuzzles into Jeongguk’s neck and the warmth he brings is like solace to Jeongguk. Jeongguk is stunned for a moment before his hands move up Jimin’s back, holding him just like he said he would. 

 

“You can sleep now, honey.” Jeongguk whispers into his hair, presses a kiss against the shell of his ear. He thinks he feels Jimin smile against his neck but he can’t be certain. 

 

“Thank you, Jeonggukie.” Jimin mumbles into Jeongguk’s skin. The restlessness he has been feeling ever since the start of the week seems to dissipate with every back rub Jeongguk gives to Jimin. Jeongguk holds Jimin, as promised, until Jeongguk can feel his soft breaths hitting his neck and that’s when Jeongguk succumbs to rest too.   

 

Jimin is restless throughout the night but Jeongguk makes sure he is well hydrated and is at Jimin’s every beck and call, brings him whatever he needs and the gratitude for it shines in Jimin’s eyes. By the time morning rolls around, Jeongguk is reluctant to leave Jimin’s bed to get home and ready for work. Jimin finally looks like he has colour in his cheeks and his eyes look much brighter. It is good to see. 

 

“I have to go, Jimin.” Jeongguk says quietly, trying not to disrupt this comfort that they’ve found in each other. Jeongguk’s fingertips trail softly up and down his back. Like this, Jimin seemed so small and unguarded and Jeongguk liked it this way. Jeongguk likes this Jimin.   

 

“To work?” Jimin hasn’t let his head out of Jeongguk’s neck for more than a few minutes but now he is forced to. Jeongguk nods his head yes.      

 

“You can borrow something of mine to wear if you want to go straight to work from here. It’s closer.” Jeongguk’s face twists at that. It wouldn’t look good if he turned up at work wearing Jimin’s clothes. “You can shower here, too.” 

 

“I need my laptop and my work folders so I’ll need to head home anyway.” Jeongguk says with caution. He doesn’t want to upset Jimin.  

 

“If you insist.” Jimin says and squeezes his hand in his for a second. Jimin looks as though he wants to say more but Jeongguk wants to beat him to it. Knows that look Jimin gives him.  Says what he knows will be on Jimin’s mind because he doesn’t need his heart to hurt anymore. 

 

“Jimin… if anyone asks…” Jeongguk starts but he is hesitant. Can’t even get his words out. 

 

“What?” Jimin’s forehead creases with concern, the words at the tip of his own tongue dissipating. 

 

Jeongguk takes a deep breath.    

 

“We don’t mention it, don’t say a word to anyone about… this. Do you understand?” Jeongguk’s voice is loud between them. The air is immediately charged with apprehension. 

 

“Why not?” the creases in between Jimin’s brow smooth out. Jeongguk watches as he swallows. 

 

“Because I said so… now will you listen?” Jeongguk is almost pleading.  

 

“Yeah,” Jimin smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “I won’t tell anyone.” he promises.

 

Jeongguk releases the breath he is holding but nothing feels right. It’s awkward and tense and everything feels amiss. Jeongguk feels as though he has just messed up. It’s the worst feeling he has ever felt. 

 

“Good.” Jeongguk nods, clears his throat. “If you need anything then give me a call. Otherwise I’ll see you at work next week?” Jeongguk tries to salvage it but instead he just sounds worse. After all that, Jeongguk knows Jimin won’t call him for a thing.  

 

“Sure, Jeongguk-ah.” Jimin still smiles. Jeongguk feels terrible.  

 

Jimin looks so small like this, wrapped up in blankets and Jeongguk just wants to go over there and cuddle him until he falls asleep again but Jimin is looking at him expectantly. Pondering.  

 

“Okay, well, uh, I hope you get well soon then.” Jeongguk fumbles, wrings his wrists from the nerves. “Bye, hyung.” 

 

Jeongguk doesn’t wait for a response, he’s out that door like a light. 

 

 

-  

 

 

The next day at work, Jeongguk feels funny. Like everyone is staring at him and it unnerves him. Like they all knew that he had been to see Jimin yesterday. Or that he had been a terrible person. The feeling of uneasiness is something Jeongguk has come to hate. However, what’s even worse is when Jimin comes back the Monday after and everyone has eyes on them like hawks to see who will taunt the other first. It doesn’t happen. Jimin heads straight to his desk without a word and Jeongguk ducks his head behind his computer screen. Everyone is stunned. And it’s too quiet. 

 

The first thing that registers in Jeongguk’s mind is that he misses Jimin. Has missed him the whole week but he had been too stubborn to acknowledge it. Just seeing Jimin working at his desk is enough of a comfort for Jeongguk. He has no doubts about that aspect.   

 

Yet, the office atmosphere is still too weird and it makes him uncomfortable. It almost seems… as though… Jeongguk has done something wrong. Which he knows he did but they had said worse things to each other and Jeongguk doesn’t know why this time has been any different. It feels like Jimin is back to avoiding him again and he can’t think of anything worse. He would rather have a verbal battle with him than have Jimin ignoring him. So when lunchtime rolls around, and Jeongguk actually has time to take a lunch break, he grabs coffee for everyone. Including Jimin. 

 

Jeongguk knocks on Namjoon’s door where Jimin is having his ‘back to work’ meeting. 

 

“Just dropping off coffee,” Jeongguk announces.  

 

“Ah, thanks Jeongguk, it’s just what I needed.” Namjoon says gratefully. 

 

“I’m glad someone knows how to have their coffee at least,” Jeongguk looks pointedly at Jimin but all he offers is a tilt of his mouth and accepts the coffee without another word uttered. No retaliation. Jeongguk is in shock as well as Namjoon, who sits there with wide eyes. 

 

“Uh, um—,” 

 

“Thank you for the coffee, Jeongguk.” Jimin says without making eye contact with him. And that. That felt like a slap to the face. Jimin has previously always come up with something just as snarky or teasing, even if it is small. But he has never just shut Jeongguk down like that and Jeongguk doesn’t know what to think or what could be the reason.  

 

This behaviour continues for the rest of the week. Anytime Jeongguk attempts to talk to Jimin, Jimin is quick to shut him down in a matter of seconds. It leaves him unable to utter another word, entirely speechless.

 

Nonetheless, Jeongguk finds the perfect time to confront Jimin. They have just finished a small team meeting about some upcoming events and Jimin is the last to leave but Jeongguk shoves the door shut and turns on him. 

 

“Jimin, will you tell me what’s wrong?” Jeongguk approaches Jimin with warm curiosity instead of being indignant.  

 

“Jeongguk, I have tonnes of work to be getting on with. I don’t need you wasting my time—,” 

 

“Did I do something?” Jeongguk continues. He is determined to know what the hell is wrong with them. 

 

“Absolutely not.” 

 

“Then why won’t you talk to me?”

 

“I’ve had enough of you and your stupid little games. You said you were done, right? Then, so am I.” Jimin’s emotions burst in front of Jeongguk like firecrackers. “You’re the one who wanted this but complain when there’s no fucking drama between us, make your goddamn mind up.” 

 

“I—,” 

 

“I’m done with you, just like you wanted to be done with me.” Jimin spits. His tone is the harshest Jeongguk has ever heard. 

 

“Jimin?” Jeongguk says, breathless but Jimin doesn’t seem to want to hear anything more. He shoves Jeongguk in his shoulder before he forces the door open and leaves. Jeongguk stands there in shock, his words failing him as does his body so he can’t run after Jimin and ask him what the hell this is all about. Jimin and Jeongguk had petty, heated arguments of course, provoked each other until they were tired themselves and were irritable towards one another but neither of them had snapped the way Jimin just had. 

 

Jeongguk walks out the meeting room in a daze, his heart pounding, rattling through his ribcage. Hoseok sees him and it’s clear that he had heard the entirety of that conversation. 

 

“You want to grab some lunch, Jeonggukie?” Hoseok asks him but Jeongguk can barely register it.

 

“N-no, I’m fine.” 

 

“I think we should get some lunch…” Hoseok looks at him with empathy, a kind smile on his face. Jeongguk could only imagine his own looking deathly pale and drained. “I’ll let Namjoon hyung know, okay?” 

 

Jeongguk nods and Hoseok drags him away out of the office with his hand held in his. It is the only thing that grounds him right now and makes him feel present in the moment and he is grateful for it. 

 

“I’m sorry for what you heard back there, Hoseok hyung.” Jeongguk mutters when they take a seat outside of their regular sushi place. Silence isn’t what he wants right now. He just wants to forget every little thing Jimin had struck him with and wishes it didn’t affect him so much.           

 

“What are you doing with him, Jeongguk?” Hoseok asks hesitantly. Jeongguk could tell he didn’t want to unsettle Jeongguk but maybe it is time Jeongguk told someone about it at least since Jimin is so difficult to talk to. 

 

“I wish I could tell you.” Jeongguk sighs. He doesn’t know where to start.  

 

“Work fuck buddies? Would that be correct?” 

 

“Yes but not— I’m not like that... Jimin is mine, he’s mine .” Jeongguk’s eyes water. “He’s mine, hyung. But I don’t think I am his.” the lump in his throat expands and the dam breaks.  

 

When the words are out there instead of festering in his chest, it’s worse. Jeongguk doesn’t know how it could get any worse but it does. 

 

And he hates Jimin. 

 

    

Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Awkward. 

 

Awkward is the only way to describe it and Jeongguk hates it. He would rather be arguing with Jimin, bickering again like immature kids. That's what he is used to but this, Jimin purposefully ignoring his entire existence, isn’t what he wanted. Despite the hatred and anger that courses through his veins, he can’t deny how sad he felt. How much he craved Jimin’s attention. He would go as far as saying his touch, too. Jeongguk just missed him.

 

The tension was palpable throughout meetings and small business trips, Namjoon doing his best to keep them apart as he muttered that they were on the verge of blowing up. Whatever that meant. The first time Jeongguk even attempts to speak to Jimin, work-related of course, it doesn’t go well. 

 

“Namjoon hyung wanted me to give these to you,” Jeongguk mumbles and sets the large file down on Jimin’s desk. Jimin acknowledges it with a sole head tilt and it makes Jeongguk’s heart fall to the pit of his stomach. He takes a deep breath and then. “Hyung, can we talk?”

 

“I know how to do the reconciliation, Jeongguk-ssi,” Jimin says, the words come out bitter and it instantly makes Jeongguk’s eyes tear up. 

 

“O-Of course.” Jeongguk mumbles and turns before the tears fall out of his lash line. He rushes towards the bathroom and spends at least ten minutes crying in there because Jimin had never been this mean to anyone. When he taunted Jeongguk, it was always with a smile and lightheartedness. But Jimin’s eyes were sharp and menacing and he never looked at anyone in that way. Especially not at Jeongguk like that. Jeongguk was convinced he had driven Jimin to hate him.

 

“Jeonggukie?” Hoseok raps lightly on the stall and Jeongguk hates that he is on the verge of being caught.

 

“Yeah?” 

 

“Come out, sweetheart.” 

 

The softness in the way Hoseok speaks makes Jeongguk cry more, more tears wetting his eyelashes. He hiccups, trying to suppress the sounds of his sobbing, and unlocks the door so he can slip inside. Hoseok doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around him and tucks his head into his shoulder, and cradles him like that. 

 

“Jimin told me to come and check on you.” he eventually says. “But he didn’t want me to tell you.” 

 

“Why are you telling me, then?” Jeongguk swipes his nose with the toilet paper Hoseok hands to him. His throat feels clogged and he feels like he can’t breathe. 

 

“Because I know why you’re crying but Jeongguk… Jimin is as stubborn as you, if not more.” 

 

“He’s not saying anything to me though, why won’t he just talk to me?” 

 

“Maybe he needs some time just to process everything, I don’t know.” Hoseok sighs, more out of pity than anything. “He cares more for you than he lets on, maybe he’s afraid… maybe he’s hurt?” 

 

The words sting Jeongguk a little bit. Right in his chest, deep between his ribs. 

 

“Just… give him some more time. He’ll come around, you’ll see.” Hoseok smiles and Jeongguk can do nothing but nod. He walks back to the office with teary eyes and a red nose and feels eyes burning into the side of his face but he refuses to acknowledge it. Jeongguk would just let people stare, he didn’t care what people thought. 

 

-

 

“It would be good to bring a partner tonight but no one is obligated, I am more than happy with people coming by themselves. I don’t discriminate.” 

 

“Thanks, hyung. I have no one to bring,” Jeongguk says sheepishly as he and Namjoon walk through to his office. 

 

“Networking, Jeongguk-ah. That’s what your sole goal is today, I told Jimin too.”

 

“What about the company figures, who will present them?” Jeongguk ignores the sting of Jimin’s name being mentioned.  

 

“We’re giving the interns a chance to receive some first-hand experience with presentations, your job is to relax and enjoy the food and get wasted.” Namjoon smiles. “And there is to be no intercepting. You will let them learn.” Namjoon looks at him with squinted eyes. “Understand?” 

 

Jeongguk grumbles in response. 

 

“You can grumble all you want, I just want you to network today. Broaden your horizons, you know?” 

 

“You want me to leave?” Jeongguk asks, his heart stuttering for a moment. 

 

“The opposite actually, but I realised how selfish that is of me. To keep such an amazing employee all to myself without letting him expand on his skills and talents. I realised what a big mistake I was making.” 

 

“Hyung.” Jeongguk scoffs. “You are the absolute craziest and most amazing director I have ever met in my life.” 

 

“That’s the impact I go for,” Namjoon laughs lightly, his cheeks dimpling. “Networking!!” Namjoon shouts before he ushers Jeongguk out of his office with the final figures for the end of the month.

 

The dinner event Namjoon holds every year for all the partners and employees is always so grand. Jeongguk always has such a great time with his work friends and he tries not to think too much about it but with Jimin too. He always found himself in Jimin’s bed after the night was over. But not this time. Not this time. 

 

Because when Jeongguk looks towards the entrance, the shine glistening high on Jimin’s cheekbones, lights bouncing off his beautiful skin, he very nearly misses how there is another body hanging onto Jimin’s arm. Eunwoo, of all people. The person who everyone knows has a crush on Jimin. It leaves Jeongguk feeling stung, his heart in his throat and his hands trembling. He has no idea if it's jealousy, anger, or frustration that makes his knees buckle, and sit down on the nearest chair he could find. 

 

“Hey, you okay?” Namjoon asks, from where had been introducing Jeongguk to someone important. 

 

“Y-Yeah hyung, I’m okay.” Jeongguk nods and stands again on shaky legs. 

 

But Jeongguk was far from okay. He couldn’t help but feel like time had run out for him like he had lost out on the one thing he knew he could’ve made blossom like a pretty flower. The one thing that kept him grounded, the one thing that he could lean back on and not feel scared. But now, all he sees is fear and regret - the things he hates the most, and they are both to blame. Jeongguk is just as much to blame as Jimin. But maybe, Jeongguk was the person who was more willing to try. Jeongguk who kept asking if they could talk things out, Jeongguk the one who always stayed the night, Jeongguk the person who seemed to put the most effort into whatever they had. Jeongguk knows it isn’t fair to blame Jimin entirely, the way he reacted when Jimin was sick was more of a defense mechanism, something that is done out of fear and he hadn’t communicated it well with Jimin. 

 

However, seeing Jimin with Eunwoo, smiling happily and mingling made bile rise to his throat. He couldn’t help but think that should’ve been him in that position. It should’ve been him. There was no doubt about it and Jeongguk felt like a petulant child when he had the thought, but Jimin was his. He was always so very possessive about things that belonged to him. At some point during the night, when Jeongguk locks eyes with Jimin, he dares to look sorrowful. Guilt is written all over his face and it makes Jeongguk laugh. This stupid game has gotten too far and he has no idea what any of it means. It’s taking more out of him than anything else and the thing he wants most is for it to stop. 

 

-

 

Jimin didn’t think Jeongguk would be here alone. He didn’t think of that because it was always their stupid little game. Come to the event with different people and leave together. That was their thing and Jimin wanted the same to happen tonight. But when Jimin sees Jeongguk alone with no company, Jimin might have made the gravest mistake by accepting Eunwoo’s invitation to go together. 

 

When Jimin had seen Jeongguk upset, crying in the toilets at work, and coming back into the office with a blotchy face and red nose, Jimin had been on his last straw. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Jeongguk, although he had a feeling it had been too late. He was adamant about not talking to Jeongguk because he was hurt, he was feeling used and disgusted with himself and he decided to take it out on Jeongguk. And his stubbornness knew no boundaries. It had gotten out of hand, Jimin knew that. But tonight he had his mind set on fixing everything and talking it out but Jimin sees how stupid of an idea it was with Eunwoo on his arm, talking to people as a couple when it should have been Jeongguk by his side. 

 

Jimin runs a frustrated hand through his hair, Jeongguk’s eyes boring into his back and as if things could get better he sees Hoseok glaring at him from across the floor. Jimin had no idea how to fix this, fix things. He just wanted Jeongguk, but not the way that Jeongguk wanted him. Jimin wanted all of Jeongguk, his mind and soul, his body and his smiles, the softness in his eyes, and the care in his fingertips. Jimin wanted all of him. But Jeongguk didn’t want him the same way, it was a terrifying, heart-wrenching thought. One that he struggled to overcome. 

 

“Jimin-ssi, come this way, there’s someone I would like you to meet.” Namjoon interrupts his wandering thoughts and drags Jimin away from Eunwoo. He vaguely remembers Namjoon talking about networking today and Jimin was good at this. It was enough to forget about the wandering eyes for a few moments. 

 

“The director of this company is someone you’d be interested in.” Namjoon winks. Jimin can only nod.

 

“This is Seokjin and his husband Yoongi.” 

 

Jimin bows politely at them before introducing himself, he was mesmerized by the beauty the couple held, it was hard to take eyes off their face and focus on the conversation. 

 

“Ah, Jimin, Namjoon has told us so much about you and your charismatic work ethic,” Seokjin says. 

 

“Namjoon speaks highly of many, it’s in his nature.” Jimin brushes off. 

 

“Absolutely not.” Namjoon disagrees. “I speak highly of those who deserve to be. I’ll leave you to chat for a while.” Namjoon takes a step back and leaves Jimin in the presence of the couple. 

 

“How long have you been together?” Jimin smiles, endeared at the way Yoongi holds Seokjin’s hand, intertwined gently, their fingers slotting perfectly. 

 

“Unofficially, six years but officially only two, and you didn’t hear it from me.” Seokjin nudges Yoongi in his side and he rolls his eyes affectionately. “He didn’t want to be with his boss,” he whispers to explain.  

 

“You make a wonderful couple.” 

 

“He’s buttering us up, Jin hyung,” Yoongi mumbles and turns towards his drink to throw it back. 

 

“I would do no such thing,” Jimin laughs lightly, shaking his head. 

 

“So, Jimin.” Seokjin hands him a drink from the bar. “Tell me what you do at work.” 

 

Jimin goes into deep depths of his role, explains how his role benefits the company - it’s nothing he hasn’t said or learned before so he says it with ease and confidence. Namjoon wanted him to network and that was exactly what he was doing.  

 

“Hmm,” Seokjin hums, Yoongi scoffs. 

 

“You’re insane,” he mutters but Jimin is sharp, catching the words coming out of his mouth. 

 

“That's why I work for Namjoon.”

 

“Well, I think Namjoon doesn’t need you anymore.” Seokjin rubs his fingers against his chin before sighing.  

 

“What does that mean?” Jimin asks but he knew exactly what it meant. He just needed confirmation.  

 

“How about I send you an email over the weekend, hm?” 

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Dead.” Seokjin nods. 

 

Jimin’s heart falls through to the ground. 

 

-

 

Jeongguk can’t keep his eyes off of Jimin, no matter how hard he tries. Ever since he had separated from Eunwoo, Jeongguk’s eyes were for Jimin only. Raptured with the way he holds himself, takes pride in his appearance and who he is. Strong, determined, sharp. At that moment, Jimin seems to be searching the crowd and then locks his eyes with Jeongguk. Jeongguk can’t look away, he is rooted to the spot and shamelessly stares into Jimin’s eyes. The wandering pair is something Jeongguk missed so deeply, amongst other things. Jimin’s eyes slowly tear themselves away and Jeongguk lets out the breath he had tried his best to hold, afraid that if he so much as let out a breath then Jeongguk would lose the moment.

 

Eunwoo is back by his side eventually and Jeongguk tries and fails to hide his scowl, his cold demeanor that everyone seems to notice. It didn't bode well with his ‘networking’. He had barely held a conversation for all of about five minutes before he was consumed with Jimin’s presence. But the night had to come to an end at some point. Maybe it was too early for Jeongguk but he had enough. Eunwoo and Jimin were sharing small smiles, Eunwoo draped all over Jimin as he deserved. It was entirely too painful for Jeongguk to witness so he decides to call it a night. He would rather wallow in the comfort in his bed, not when there were too many eyes on him. 

 

“You’re leaving,” Hoseok states when Jeongguk approaches him. 

 

“How did you know?” Jeongguk asks, surprise evident in the way he steps back for a moment. 

 

“I know you.” Hoseok sighs and Jeongguk wonders if Hoseok so much as touched him, would he break and shatter into a million pieces? 

 

“Well, can’t argue with that.” 

 

“He’s an asshat.” 

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

 

“Jim-,”

 

“Hyung, don’t.” Jeongguk shakes his head. He feels the tears burning at the back of his eyes. 

 

“Okay.” Hoseok purses his lips and doesn't dare to touch Jeongguk. One single touch and Jeongguk will topple over like a tower of Jenga. “Get home safe,” he whispers, the pity is so evident on his face and it leaves a gritty feeling in his throat. 

 

Jeongguk can only nod before he turns to leave, says a speedy goodbye to Namjoon, and awaits his taxi in the foyer of the grand hall. He rubs his arms to bring some warmth to himself but he still shakes like a leaf regardless.       

 

“Where are you going?” 

 

The voice sends a shooting pain deep inside of his heart, his breath stops. 

 

“I don’t think it’s any of your business,” Jeongguk mutters eventually when he gets over the shock of hearing Jimin’s voice again, his jacket wraps tighter around his middle as a sign of defence. Jimin didn’t want to hurt him, he knew that. That was the last thing he should be thinking. But Jeongguk couldn’t help but raise his defences. High up where nobody could ever even imagine reaching. Especially not Jimin. 

 

“You’re not allowed to leave yet,” Jimin says and Jeongguk turns to look at him, wanting to see the expression he holds. “This is not what we do.” 

 

Jeongguk’s laugh comes out entirely out of the blue. A scoff turned into full-blown laughter. 

 

“And what is it, Jimin-ssi, that we do? Hm?” Jeongguk turns towards him, steps closer to emphasise his point. His patience runs thin. “Fuck? Have sex because we have nothing better to do? Then act like we hate each other in the fucking office and then, wait for the best bit, when a few feelings get involved we stop speaking to each other entirely because we’re very mature adults thank you very much!” 

 

“Jeongguk.” Jimin begins to warn but Jeongguk’s resolve has snapped. Right down the middle. 

 

“No! You fucking listen to me, Park Jimin. I am sick and tired of your shit!” Jeongguk shoves Jimin lightly in the chest, enough to make him lose his balance slightly. “You think you can string me along, play these stupid little games with me but I have had enough!” 

 

“Enough?” 

 

“I am not your plaything or… or a toy! I am a person with feelings, very strong and deep feelings actually but if you had ever paid attention then you would know that.” 

 

“I do know that.” 

 

“No, you don’t!” 

 

“Sir, is everything alright here?” the security guard intercepts and Jeongguk thinks maybe he is going too far with it. Maybe he is being too harsh.  

 

“Everything is fine, I was just leaving.” Jeongguk straightens up, looks at Jimin’s eyes blown out wide and pretty one last time before he turns away and walks towards the door. As soon as Jimin is out of his sight, the wall collapses, and the dam breaks. Tears line his eyes and he hopes to god they spill out once he is out of Jimin’s sight.  

 

“We’re supposed to leave together,” Jimin says, following him and his voice shakes and Jeongguk has never heard it like that before. Never heard it so shaky and unsure. It makes him halt in his steps.  

 

“Not anymore.” 

 

“One last time, Jeongguk.” Jimin pleads.  

 

Last time? 

 

Jeongguk’s heart feels sore like it had been through a stampede and left on the ground for nothing. One last time to play this stupid game. Jeongguk wonders if he could be strong enough to get through it. Jeongguk knows that he’ll take one look at Jimin and dissolve. His resolve will crumble because Jimin had that effect on him, putty in his hands. One touch and he would melt entirely.    

 

“Please.” Jimin’s eyebrows furrow and his fists are clenched tight by his sides. Like he is resisting the urge to reach out with his hands, his lips, his teeth. Jeongguk takes a deep breath and shakes his head but before he could take a step away from Jimin, his arm is pulled back and away. Jimin drags him along with him and pushes him into the nearest quiet alley outside the venue. 

 

“Please,” Jeongguk repeats the same words Jimin had spoken. A plea, a desperate plea because he knows exactly what is going to happen and he doesn’t want to regret it.  

 

“I need you.” Jimin mumbles and in a moment, his lips collide with Jeongguk’s. Hot, forceful, and demanding. Jimin grabs his waist tightly and pulls him forward so that their hips are pressed against each other. “I need you,” he emphasises the words with fingers tangling through Jeongguk’s hair, pulling firmly. He lifts Jeongguk’s right leg to wrap around his waist so he can press himself harder against him, not an inch separating them. 

 

“Jimin… Jimin,” Jeongguk pants, his lips wet and parted.

 

“Do you need me like I need you?” Jimin drags a finger along the side of his face. Jeongguk nods, can’t get any more words out like this with Jimin pressed along every inch of him, consuming him. Devouring him. 

 

“Take me home.” Jeongguk breathes. He forgets how to breathe in Jimin’s proximity, having him so close again feels like heaven and hell alike. Jimin obliges and like every other work party, they leave together with their hands entwined. 

 

When they get to Jeongguk’s apartment, Jimin is attached to Jeongguk’s back and his mouth is attached to the back of his neck. Jeongguk has spent this whole time suppressing the sounds that bubble up from deep in his stomach but when they’re like this, in the privacy of Jeongguk’s home, he feels no shame in letting them out in the open. Serenading them both into a deep, lustful haze.

 

“Aren’t you going to give me a tour?” Jimin’s thick voice vibrates against his skin. 

 

“Kitchen, living room, ah, bedroom please.” Jeongguk’s head leans back against Jimin’s shoulder as he nips at his skin.     

 

“It’s exactly the kind of place I imagined you living in, clean and monochrome.” 

 

Previously, they had only been to Jimin’s house since it’s always closer. Or hotel rooms but Jeongguk lost count of those. But for their last night, Jeongguk wanted it to be here in his space. So he can ingrain it in his mind and remember Jimin always, just like this.

 

“Hyung, just kiss me,” Jeongguk whines.

 

“I can do that.” Jimin turns Jeongguk’s face to his and kisses him. He backs Jeongguk into his bedroom door, kisses him there for a few more minutes before Jeongguk gets impatient and gets them inside. 

 

“How do you want this, sweetheart?” 

 

“Hands and knees.” Jeongguk nods his head once and focuses on undressing Jimin. 

 

“No.” Jimin’s frown stops Jeongguk’s hands on his trouser buttons. 

 

“No?” Jeongguk says with the widest eyes he can muster, he hopes they glaze over too for that extra impact.

 

“Want to see you,” Jimin whispers and backs him towards the bed, their feet moving together in sync. “Want to kiss every inch of you.” Jimin starts mouthing at his neck, unbuttoning his shirt as he goes along. He presses kisses along the entire length of his torso, it makes Jeongguk writhe with gratification. Jeongguk hadn’t been with Jimin like this in so long, had it always been this good? Had Jimin always been this attentive with him? He knew exactly what he was doing, knew exactly what Jeongguk wanted. Kissed him just right. 

 

“Can I touch you?” Jimin whispers, peeling his underwear off his body. “Can I put my fingers in you?” 

 

“Please.” Jeongguk nods. Jimin turns him gently on his side and slots behind him, his hands moving across Jeongguk’s skin and bones, gently like Jimin was savouring every inch of him. “Hyung,” Jeongguk whines when it gets too much, his skin too sensitive to Jimin’s touch. 

 

“Want to have you like this, baby.” Jimin pulls him closer, flush against his now naked body. “Soft and pliant, needy little thing.” Jimin uncaps the lube and then a slick sound and Jeongguk’s ass cheek pulled to the side so Jimin can press his fingers against his hole. Tight, since it had been a long time. Without Jimin, it was never enough so Jeongguk didn’t even try. Jimin takes his sweet time, presses deep inside, and stretches him out slowly. Has Jeongguk moaning and whining on his fingers, sticky skin catching, and hands wandering everywhere but where they both need it the most.  

 

“Lift your leg, sweetheart, like this.” Jimin takes hold of Jeongguk’s ankle and holds it in place whilst he shuffles closer so his dick is lined up. “That’s my good boy.”

 

Jeongguk almost cries with the relief he feels. Those words were enough for Jeongguk to fall back in Jimin’s arms, relax into his hold and give up his control to Jimin. Give everything to Jimin.

 

“Missed this,” Jeongguk sighs as Jimin sinks into his overwhelming heat, the warmth spreads from within Jeongguk’s heart to the tips of his fingers and toes. “Hyung, missed you.” Jeongguk links his fingers with Jimin’s free hand. The words slipped out but they felt so right. So right. 

 

“I missed you.” Jimin presses his forehead against Jeongguk’s nape, his breath hot against Jeongguk’s skin. Makes everything steamy. Hazy. Like Jeongguk could barely think. It takes a minute but Jimin eventually moves, fucking Jeongguk slowly so he feels all of him. This wasn’t what it was usually like. Normally, Jimin fucked him fast and hard. Made him come three times in one night but this felt like Jimin’s aim was to savour every second, like he believed this time was the last. Jimin built Jeongguk’s orgasm up slowly, slowed down when Jeongguk was so close, and then continued. Moves his hands softly against Jeongguk’s curves, litters kisses along Jeongguk’s spine. He turns Jeongguk’s head towards him when Jeongguk gets a little loud, closes his mouth around his own, and kisses him hard. Barely lets him breathe.

 

“Please stay with me, Jimin,” Jeongguk sobs when he is on the brink, tears in his eyes from how close he is to his release. “Stay with me till mornin’” Jeongguk mumbles, exposing his neck so Jimin’s mouth can slot in place against his pulse. 

 

“I promise I’ll stay,” Jimin whispers and Jeongguk’s body relaxes, letting Jimin pull him even closer, a hand on his lower stomach pressing down. “Come on, baby, come for me.”

 

Jimin’s sweet voice is pretty even when exhaustion laces it. Jeongguk can do nothing but oblige, his fingernails dig into Jimin’s forearm when he comes with a cry, his back arching slightly from the force of it. How hard it hit, how good it felt. “Oh, fuck.” Jeongguk mumbles, turning his face to kiss at Jimin’s jaw as he shoves Jeongguk up the mattress and comes mere seconds later, fills Jeongguk up just like he likes. 

 

“Hyung, don’t pull out yet.” Jeongguk puts a hand to Jimin’s ass and keeps him close, scared that Jimin will pull out already and then it will be all over. 

 

“Want me to get a plug, where do you keep it?” 

 

Jeongguk stares at him in shock. It was as though Jimin had just read his mind but Jimin takes no notice of him or the way he freezes up. Just kisses him until his head relaxes back into his pillows. Presses his mouth to his again and again, like he couldn’t get enough. Like he was making up for the lost time. A rattling sound catches Jeongguk’s attention and when he opens his eyes he finds Jimin sifting through his bedside drawer, one hand keeping Jeongguk’s face close to his so they could still kiss. 

 

“It’s in there somewhere,” Jeongguk sighs and relaxes back into Jimin more. 

 

“Found it,” Jimin says triumphantly. He pulls out slowly and Jeongguk makes a sound of discontent, but Jimin is fast, pushes the plug in after lubricating it with his spit. It makes Jeongguk dizzy. 

 

“Thank you,” Jeongguk turns to face Jimin now, bringing him closer to wrap himself around his body. His apartment is cold and he uses Jimin as his personal furnace, he was always so warm. 

 

It doesn’t take long for Jeongguk to slip into slumber when Jimin caresses his hair and rubs his soft palm down Jeongguk’s spine, humming a sweet melody to him. It was everything he needed but the impending feeling of something going wrong was begging him in the back of his mind. Begging him to leave the safety of Jimin’s arms. And fast.         

 

-

 

When Jeongguk wakes up the next morning, the first thing he does is fling his arm back and search for Jimin but is met with cold, empty sheets. No, please god no. 

 

“Jimin?” Jeongguk’s morning voice is raspy but maybe Jimin had gone to get some water or maybe he was in the shower. He can’t have left, Jeongguk practically begged him not to. “Jimin?” He calls out again and when he is met with silence again, a heart-wrenching sob makes its way out of Jeongguk’s chest. “Please.” he cries into his hands, his body molding back into cold sheets. It felt like ice where his skin met his sheets. The absence of Jimin makes the morning after so hard, so much more frustrating.

 

At least Jimin had the decency to remove his plug from his ass or else it would have irritated him in the morning but even that feels mortifying. He wanted to remember everything, he wanted to keep Jimin with him.  

 

Jeongguk should have expected it, he should have known this is what would have happened because it’s like this every time. He should have seen it coming but unfortunately, it doesn’t hurt any less. This time it hurts more. 

 

“Jeongguk?” 

 

Jeongguk shoots up and watches as Jimin walks in with two cups of coffee. He tries and fails to stop his sobs from escaping and Jimin’s worry is evident.  

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Jimin’s eyes, free from makeup, look soft and round in the mornings. Like Jeongguk could swim in them, could lose himself in those molten pools. He quickly sets down the mugs in his hand on the floor before climbing onto the bed and bringing Jeongguk into an embrace. 

 

“Where did you go?” Jeongguk cries. 

 

“I’m sorry, are you crying because I left? I didn’t leave, I promised you.” 

 

“You promised.” Jeongguk nods.

 

“I promised, I was right here, baby.” Jimin cups Jeongguk’s face in his hands and presses a kiss against his blotchy nose and smiles at him. It warms him from the inside.

 

“Sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying so hard.” Jeongguk refuses to look into Jimin’s eyes. He was embarrassed. Jeongguk wipes his nose with the back of his hand and Jimin wipes underneath his eyes with his thumbs. 

 

“It’s okay to cry…” Jimin hesitates. “I just hate being the cause of you crying like this.” Jimin’s frown makes Jeongguk’s heart twist. Like Jimin had it clenched between his fingers. 

 

“It’s-,” 

 

“Don’t deny it.” 

 

“Okay, I won’t,” Jeongguk wipes his face one more time with a tissue. “I just feel vulnerable...after sex. I never told you that.” 

 

“I wish you had,” Jimin sighs. “I would have never…” he looks away in disdain. 

 

“Hyung, it’s fine. I wanted it, too. Always,” Jeongguk pulls him closer slowly. Jimin settles on the bed, his back against the headboard, and pulls Jeongguk to him. He settles Jeongguk with his head on his chest, fingers running through his hair. 

 

“I’m sorry,” Jimin pressed a kiss to his hair. Jeongguk looks up at him, gets lost in those eyes, and wants to say everything. Wants to tell him everything that resides in his heart. He doesn’t want to do this anymore, he doesn’t want to play any more games. 

 

“Jiminie, I need to tell you something,” Jeongguk starts. Takes a deep breath. “Will you listen to me?” 

 

“Before you say anything, Jeongguk-ah, I need to tell you something first.” Jimin fidgets and pulls away from Jeongguk a little so he could look at him.

 

“What is it?” Jeongguk’s heart picks up. From how settled it was a minute ago to picking back up again, Jeongguk didn’t think he could handle it.   

 

“From all the networking I did yesterday…” Jimin looks like he is struggling so Jeongguk sits up and looks at him attentively. “There was a couple there last night, they offered me a job.” 

 

“You’re leaving Kim’s?” Jeongguk’s world stops for a moment. That means no more Jimin every single day. 

 

But that could work.

 

Maybe they needed to not work together so they could be together. Their relationship could blossom better without being in the same workplace. Jeongguk needed to see it as a positive thing, he could do this with Jimin.   

 

“Yeah… there’s also something else.” This couldn’t possibly get any worse. What else could there be? Jeongguk nods, encouraging Jimin to continue.   

 

“They want me in their office in Shanghai. I got an email this morning.” 

 

Jeongguk’s heart falls to the floor, drops carelessly knocking back and forth in the silence until it settles there. Lying cold, lifeless. 

 

“What?” Jeongguk isn’t sure what his expression holds, but he knows his eyes water. The shock must be evident, too.  

 

Jimin looks apologetic but Jeongguk knows he has nothing to be sorry for, this isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s just the way life works but it’s bloodthirsty. Taking Jimin away from him moments before he was about to confess. Life was a shitshow. A small piece of heaven was granted to him before it was cruelly taken away from him. That’s what Jeongguk could only describe it as. Cruel. Incurable. Jeongguk would never be able to recover from this. 

 

“You should take it, hyung.” Jeongguk pulls away from Jimin some more. He had no other words to say, couldn’t even spare a smile not when his chest was caving in.  

 

“Wait, can you come back here? Can I hold you a little longer?” 

 

The internal debate Jeongguk faces are hard to endure. He wants to crawl back into the warmth of Jimin’s arms but then it is something he shouldn’t entertain, not when Jimin was leaving the country forever. Leaving him. 

 

“I-I’m just going to grab some water.” 

 

“Jeongguk.” Jimin reaches for him but manages to miss his hand because Jeongguk is fast. He needs some air and some time to process.

 

He leans over the sink and thinks he might be sick any minute. He washes his face then gets in the shower to wash away everything he felt. Jeongguk had always wanted what was best for Jimin and he needed to show it. Show him how much he cared. He would always care. 

 

Jimin seemed to have other plans, however. When Jeongguk stood underneath the pelting, hot water, Jimin’s arms wrapped around his waist and his mouth pressed flush against his shoulder. 

 

“I’m sorry...for a lot of things.” 

 

“You shouldn’t leave feeling sorry for things,” Jeongguk sighs and turns in his arms and tugs him closer, skin against skin. Wraps his arms around Jimin’s shoulders. “I forgive you, for everything. I need you to forgive me, too. You need to leave with a free mind, an empty heart.”

 

“Empty heart?” 

 

“So you can fall in love with your new job, new city, new routine. A lot of love needs to fit in there.” Jeongguk chuckles and digs his finger in his chest playfully. “I’m so proud of you, hyung. You deserve it.” Jeongguk snuggles into Jimin’s neck.  

 

“Jeongguk-ah,” Jimin starts and he stares at Jeongguk with shiny eyes. 

 

“Please.” Jeongguk stops him with a press of his lips. “Please don’t say anything you’ll regret.”

 

“I have a lot of regrets.” 

 

“Then… forget about it all,” Jeongguk smiles. “I can make you forget,” Jeongguk whispers against his lips and drops to his knees, the spray of the water hitting his back. 

 

It’s the last time. Officially. 

 

And Jeongguk cries.     

 

-

 

When Jimin announces he is leaving the company, people were sad all through the days until his last day. Jeongguk avoided Jimin like the plague and the feeling was reciprocated. Jimin couldn’t hold eye contact with him for even a second. On his last day, Jeongguk is tempted to take the day off and have a pity party for one. Jimin leaves early the next morning from what he had heard and he didn’t want to be involved in any going away parties at work like it was a celebration as though his heart wasn’t breaking as the days moved closer. 

 

Jeongguk doesn’t take the day off. He could handle it, or so he thought. 

 

“He’ll miss you.” Hoseok makes him jump when he creeps up behind him. 

 

“Hyung! Don’t do that,” Jeongguk sighs. 

 

“You don’t think he’ll miss you?”

 

“He’ll miss the games we used to taunt each other with, that’s all.” 

 

“He’s looking at you.” 

 

Jeongguk turns his head and Hoseok was right, Jimin finally looks at him for longer this time. Keeps eye contact and smiles sadly. Jeongguk smiles back. He wonders if it came out pained. And then Jimin is walking towards him and Hoseok scuttles off. Lies about printing out some reports. 

 

“Hey, I just-, uh, wanted to say goodbye, I guess.” 

 

“You can say goodbye.” Jeongguk smiles. Blushes. He tries not to think about it, especially since Jimin's eyes don’t dare to leave his face. It’s like Jeongguk’s face was the only thing that mattered. Jeongguk can’t help but stare back, trying to memorise all the little lines and dimples of Jimin’s skin. Tries to remember how it felt under his fingers. Jeongguk wonders why he fell so badly in love with the one person he couldn’t have, who kept slipping through his fingers like sand. Jeongguk already missed him, so much that the hole in his heart was getting deeper, wider. 

 

“Jeongguk.” Jimin’s hands clench and unclench.  

 

“Jimin,” Jeongguk breathes. There are so many words at the tip of his tongue but nothing makes it out except his deep breaths. He is pulled at that point into Jimin’s arms, a bone-crushing hug, squeezing every bit of him into Jimin. “Hyung,” 

 

“Jeongguk,” Jimin says like he just needed to say his name out loud.

 

“I’ll miss you,” Jeongguk manages to say through the hold Jimin has on him. 

 

“Me too, baby.” Jimin whispers and Jeongguk’s heart stops. It isn’t fair, Jimin doesn’t get to say that to him anymore. But he stays quiet and feels Jimin’s heartbeat reverberating through their chests. Jeongguk is sure they beat at the same pace. “You should call me, okay?” Jimin finally pulls away reluctantly. People are staring, Jeongguk could feel it but at the moment, it feels like only Jimin and Jeongguk. Their eyes only focused on each other. Jeongguk nods, not trusting his voice. 

 

“I’ll call.” 

 

“Okay,” Jimin nods and backs away slowly because it was time for him to go. He gives Jeongguk one last smile before he backs away but Jeongguk is rooted to the spot. The feeling of losing the one person he loves the most in the world is incomparable to anything he has ever felt. Jeongguk loses himself to the cheers of his co-workers as Jimin says goodbye to everyone, he manages to leave before it got too loud in his mind. 

 

Jeongguk knew he wouldn’t be able to take it but he underestimated how bad it would get. Life without Jimin was dull. Hard. Jeongguk could barely breathe. He never did call because he knew it would just hurt him more, he left Jimin’s messages unanswered and ignored his calls. Jeongguk knew if he spoke to him, even once, he would crumble entirely. Jimin’s absence was not affecting his life in general but it was affecting his job, too. Jeongguk made more mistakes in the week after Jimin had left than in his whole career. He barely slept, came to work like a zombie, and lost himself in the stacks of paper on his desk. Jeongguk worked until he couldn’t think anymore, late at night and early in the morning. He needed distractions and he needed them constantly.    

 

“You need a holiday,” Namjoon demands it like an order. Jeongguk had been called into his office after just two weeks of Jimin’s absence. He needed to sort himself out.  

 

“What?” 

 

“I’m going to put you on sick leave.” 

 

“Hyung, no, I-I can handle it. I'm sorry if I’ve been off lately but I’ll get my brain focused again, I promise. Please don’t do this.”

 

“Jeongguk-ah, I don’t give a shit about your job. Hoseok has been handling it, that doesn’t bother me. What bothers me is that your health is deteriorating, I can’t watch you ruin yourself.”

 

“I-I’m fine, I promise.” Jeongguk’s eyes burn, if Namjoon carried on he would start crying like a baby. He was on the verge of a mental breakdown but he didn’t want to admit it. Everyone just assumed he wasn’t doing well without Jimin, it was frustrating but true. 

 

“We both know you aren’t. I’m disappointed that you can lie to me this way.” Namjoon shakes his head with a soft sigh. Pity, Jeongguk thinks. All he sees is pity. Everyone looks at him the same way and he has had enough. 

 

“You all think I can’t survive without Jimin, right?” Jeongguk’s eyes darken ever so slightly. He has had enough and now, he’s full of anger. “Right?!” 

 

This was all Jimin’s fault.  

 

“No, Jeongguk,” 

 

“Yes, that’s true. It’s what you all think, it’s what I hear whispered behind closed doors and what it says in all of your eyes. If Jimin had been here, he would be so smug about it. The fact that he won this battle. The fact that he left me here alone, to fend for myself because he doesn’t give a shit about me. He won it all!” Jeongguk huffs out a laugh. “And I’m the idiot who fell madly in love with him and has to face the consequences.” 

 

“That’s not true, Jeongguk and you know it.” 

 

“Oh, I do. I know it perfectly well. Thank you, Namjoon-ssi. For everything.” Jeongguk bows at a full ninety degrees. “I will be taking my stuff.”

 

“What?! Jeongguk!” 

 

But Jeongguk storms out of the office. He will regret this later, he already knew it. But, Namjoon had already decided for him. He couldn’t work in a place that was filled with Jimin, which reminded him of every moment of every day of the heartbreak he felt. This was Jeongguk’s last straw.

 

“Jeonggukie?” Hoseok comes up to him carefully whilst he throws his belongings in a box. 

 

“That’s enough, hyung. You don’t have to treat me like a child. I can handle myself.” 

 

“Where are you going?” 

 

“I’m leaving.” A hush resounds through the cubicles as everyone listens to their conversation. “That’s right, everyone! Jeon Jeongguk is finally leaving since he can’t survive without Park Jimin, thank you all for your excellent companionship,” he says sarcastically before throwing his back over his shoulder and grabbing his box. “It was nice to meet you, Hoseok hyung.” 

 

“Jeongguk.” Hoseok looks furious but Jeongguk couldn’t care less at this point, he needed to get out of there.

 

“Jeongguk!” Namjoon calls out for him one more time but Jeongguk storms through the building like a man on a mission. He couldn’t bear to see the pity on any of their faces anymore. Jeongguk didn’t realise his mental breakdown was going to consist of him leaving his job. The only constant thing in his life. God, he was going to regret this so badly but for now, Jeongguk wanted nothing more than silence. Just some peace. 

 

On the way home, he stops over at his favourite cafe and gets a large latte to make him feel better. When he was amongst other people, it didn’t hurt so bad in his chest. His heart. The tears haven’t come yet so he waits for them. The reality of his decisions hasn’t come crashing down yet so he waits for it to hit him. 

 

It never does.

 

He trudges home, his feet kicking at stones on the ground, and tries his best to keep his posture straight like Jimin had once told him. Fucking Jimin. Jeongguk sighs as he walks up the stairs but what he doesn’t expect is a person leaning against his door. Waiting for him. Jeongguk stops dead in his tracks. 

 

“Hey,” Jimin has the audacity to look sheepish.  

 

“Fuck you,” Jeongguk whispers. “Fuck you!” Jeongguk grabs his stress ball out of his work box and throws it at Jimin. It hits him square on his head. 

 

“Ow.” Jimin rubs at his head and if Jeongguk thought the tears weren’t coming tonight, he was tragically wrong. The box in his hands falls to the ground and he crumples as tears flow down his cheeks. “Baby.” Jimin moves closer and as soon as his smell hits Jeongguk, he cries a little more. The first touch of Jimin’s hand rubbing soothing circles into his back makes him crumple a little more. When both his hands are pulling Jeongguk into his chest, Jeongguk just lets his emotions fall free; he completely breaks down. Right there on the floor outside his apartment. “I’m so sorry, Jeonggukie.”

 

Jimin cradles Jeongguk’s head to his chest, continuing to rub his back softly. With so much care. “You’re a dick.” Jeongguk’s voice sounds weird. Thick and nasally.  

 

“I know.”

 

“You’re the person I hate the most in the entire world.” Jeongguk punctuates the statement by fisting Jimin’s shirt in both hands.  

 

“I know.” 

 

“And your dick is small.” Jeongguk lies. 

 

“I’m disagreeing with that one... agree with all the others though,” Jeongguk can hear the smug smile in his voice. 

 

“You’re so full of yourself.” Jeongguk shoves Jimin back just so he can see his face. Jeongguk finally looks at him properly and Jimin is still just as beautiful, he still gets lost in his pretty eyes.

 

“I love you,” Jimin announces.  

 

Jeongguk’s mouth falls open and his hands drop to his side. What the fuck? 

 

“I’m stupidly in love with you and I’m sorry I haven’t told you all this time.” 

 

There’s a beat of silence, a still moment in time as Jeongguk processes the words coming out of Jimin’s mouth. 

 

“Get out.” Jeongguk’s eyes water yet again. “Get the fuck out, you piece of shit.” Jeongguk grabs Jimin by his arms and makes him stand up. 

 

“Jeongguk.” Jimin gathers his wrists in both of his. “Listen to me.” 

 

“I don’t ever want to see you again.” 

 

“That’s a lie, I’m not giving in to your bullshit.” Jimin presses him back into the wall and Jeongguk squirms under his command, trying to get out of his hold. “I want you to love me back, I’ll do whatever it takes. I love you so fucking much and I need you to know it.” 

 

Well, after that, Jeongguk punches Jimin so hard he blacks out. Jeongguk just really didn’t know how to handle the words coming out of Jimin’s mouth when he had been waiting for them for so long. He didn’t know what to do with how overwhelming it all was and he did the one thing that made him feel terrible. It was the worst thing he could do.  

 

“Shit, Jimin, you better wake up, or else I’m calling an ambulance.”Jeongguk holds Jimin’s face after he had picked him up and took him inside his apartment.  

 

“Why did you punch me?” Jimin manages to groan in response, laying there, limp on his couch. 

 

“Why would you tell me you love me?!”

 

“Because,” Jimin sighs and sits up slowly. “It’s true.”

 

Jeongguk stares at him silently and watches as his fingers reach out to touch his face. “Come here,” Jimin sighs and maneuvers Jeongguk so that he is sitting in his lap. “Hold me back,” he says as he cradles the back of Jeongguk’s head. 

 

“You can’t love me.” Jeongguk sits back. Doesn’t hold him back like he so badly wants to. Not when Jimin has to work in an entirely different country, long-distance won’t work with them. Jeongguk knows it. Life isn’t that kind to him. 

 

“I do and I will, with my everything.” Jimin puts his hands on Jeongguk’s sides, presses deep almost like he wants to break into his ribcage and touch his heart. He is pretty close. 

 

“I-I’m sorry,” Jeongguk tries not to cry, he’s cried enough to last a lifetime. “I’m sorry I can’t love you if you’re not here with me, it’s too painful,” Jeongguk looks away from Jimin, from the heart-wrenching way he stares at him, full of longing and want.  

 

“Do you love me?” 

 

Jeongguk stays silent, bites his lip. 

 

“Jeongguk-ah, do you love me?” Jimin urges and pulls Jeongguk’s face towards his. 

 

“Are you blind or something?” Jeongguk mumbles, if he says it now it’ll be too late to take it back. Jeongguk couldn’t do it. 

 

“It seems like I have been for a long time,” Jimin smiles and Jeongguk is glad he is smiling and can feel the way the warmth wraps around him like this. “All this time, I was doubting myself, doubting you. I wanted you so bad but I wasn’t sure you felt the same, so I did the opposite of what I wanted to do in the hopes that I could forget you...that I could live without you.” 

 

“Please stop,” Jeongguk crumbles under Jimin’s words, it breaks him down brick by brick and it’s fear that fills him up to the brim with nowhere to go. 

 

“I promised myself I wouldn’t be an idiot anymore, so here I am being not an idiot and telling you how much I care about you, want you, love you.” 

 

“Hyung, you’re killing me,” Jeongguk gasps into Jimin’s mouth before crushing his lips to Jimin’s like he wanted to fuse them together. They kiss and Jimin’s hands touch him everywhere, feeling him like he has missed him and it makes Jeongguk’s heart hurt. Jimin was here with his heart wide open and Jeongguk was just confused, didn’t know the ending yet but he wants to be fearless like Jimin. 

 

“I love you,” Jeongguk whispers against the shell of Jimin’s ear, kissing him there. Like a seal to a promise. He hides his face in Jimin’s neck and feels a wanderlust laugh vibrate through Jimin. “Wanted to tell you that all this time, long before Japan when I was the team leader or when you got sick, long before you stopped talking to me. It’s been a long time,” Jeongguk is content with his ear pressed to Jimin’s chest. 

 

“I’m sorry for making you wait and taking so long, I loved you long before then, too,” Jimin sighs. They bathe in the silence that comes after that for several minutes, and for once, Jeongguk’s heart settles in the rattling cage of its confines. It settles peacefully, thrumming gently. And then “I need an ice pack, baby.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk winces when he looks at Jimin again, a bruise blooming on his jaw.

 

- 

 

They settle in Jeongguk’s bed with warm cups of coffee, an ice pack on Jimin’s jaw when they eventually sort things through, go through everything that keeps them awake at night and it has been freeing. Everything feels so airy and light with everything out in the open. Finally, Jeongguk felt at ease for once. 

 

“I left my job because of you,” Jeongguk sighs as he leans his head on Jimin’s shoulder. It felt so nice. 

 

“What?!” Jimin nearly spits coffee all over his bedsheets. “Me too!” Jimin has to put his coffee down to speak, his eyes wide and Jeongguk wants to just kiss him. “I’m not going back to Shanghai, I’m getting transferred here.” Jimin smiles softly and presses a kiss against his nose, he nudges their noses together for a moment and breathes Jeongguk in. 

 

Jeongguk is sure his shock is evident too but he is more than okay with Jimin staying in the same city as him at the very least.    

 

“I left because they all pitied me and… I didn’t do well without you.” Jeongguk strokes Jimin’s cheek once before he looks away. 

 

“I left because I missed you and… didn’t do too well without you either,” Jimin pulls Jeongguk closer by his hips until he is settled into his side. 

 

“Destiny,” Jeongguk laughs. He looks at Jimin with wonder in his eyes.   

 

“That explains the stress ball and the crying,” Jimin fits the pieces together in his head. “Oh my god, you’re going to have to grovel at Namjoon hyung’s feet,”

 

“Fuck,” Jeongguk groans and slips further into his bed. “Don’t remind me.” 

 

“He’ll make you work for it, he doesn’t let up so easily.” 

 

“I don’t know, it’s me. I think he’ll accept me back straight away.” 

 

“Want to bet?” Jimin raises an eyebrow. 

 

“Hell yeah!” Jeongguk pulls Jimin closer when he finishes his coffee so that he is almost on top of him. “It’s always a damn game with you.” 

 

“And you always give in,” Jimin smirks. 

 

“Only because it’s you.” Jeongguk smiles and kisses him. Kisses him for a long time until all he can feel is Jimin surrounding him, his safe place. 

 

His home. 

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