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"Will you help me, Hao Du?"
He dropped to his knees on reflex, swallowing her little hands in his own.
"Anything, Gōng zhǔ."
"Then stay with me." She motioned towards the bed.
His thoughts stuttered to a halt, and Hao Du found himself blinking in shock. "What did you.." he started, even as he began pulling away.
Her eyes widened in fear as he drew back, her little cry of protest along with the feel of her hands doing their best to hold him in place felt like a knife in his gut.
"Hao Du, please, this is the only way. If...if I'm ruined, then the Khan won't want me. And father, he'll send me away, I can live like a nun, and," she faltered, perhaps realizing how childish all of it sounded. "...and you could stay with me."
She didn't expect him to laugh, the sound of it choked and bitter. He pulled away from her roughly.
"Do you know what your father would do to me if he even suspected I thought about you in such a way?"
His face was twisted in anger...and pain? Leyan lunged after him as he turned to leave, wrapping her small arms around his waist, holding on with the same desperation as when she'd been trying to stop him from following Li Changge.
The feel of her arms around his waist brought the memory back. He'd been so flustered at the feel of her arms around him, so afraid of hurting her, that he'd actually found himself struggling to break free from her grasp. By the time he'd removed her clinging hands, it was too late, and Changge was long gone. But this was different. He grabbed hold, working single-mindedly to remove her hands from their position on his waist. He had to leave now. This had already gone too far. He had to leave before...
"Hao Du!" he could hear the tears in her voice, cursing inwardly at the sound, heart thudding traitorously inside his chest. He had just managed to pry one of her hands from his belt when the other, determined to elude him, slipped lower.
They both froze as her small hand found the seat of his crotch, its contents hardening at her slight touch. Both of them were breathing heavily from the struggle. The princess whimpered in shock at her own boldness, while Hao Du desperately tried holding on to whatever restraint he had left. Never had he been so conscious of the princess pressed against his back. Or of any other hand pressing against his cock. A voice inside his head asked if it felt like he'd always imagined... He shifted, clenching his fists.
Perhaps the princess could sense him wanting to flee because she quickly made a decision, and the touch that began as an accident now gained purpose, and pressing down further, she slowly began palming his length through the silk of his clothes.
"Hao Du," her voice was breathless "Do you think of me...in that way?"
"Yes." It was as if her voice compelled the answer from him, his tongue dragging the words through shards of glass.
She sighed into his back, and her hands relaxed. Taking the chance, he sidestepped away, capturing her wrists as he stalked her back towards the bed, only stopping when her knees hit the mattress.
Leyan sat down heavily, eyes widening at the now perfect view of his front, and the unmistakable outline under his clothes. Her mouth opened slightly in awe, and Hao Du found himself swallowing at the thought of those rosebud lips opening even wider.
"Gōng zhǔ..." She immediately snapped to attention, and despite her embarrassment at being caught staring, she met his eyes bravely. Meanwhile, Hao Du was trying hard to not be distracted by the rosy flush that trailed down her throat. "Gōng zhǔ, what you're asking. You don't understand."
She frowned then, the spot between her brows furrowing in a way he would find adorable if the situation they were in wasn't so serious.
"Hao Du, I understand more than you know. I understand that, if in all the months I was gone, some soldier or villain had done this to me, the court would say I was ruined..." she swallowed back tears, tone quieting. "I know that Hao Du, at least you wouldn't hurt me." Her gaze held him in place, the level of trust and devotion laid bare in her eyes made his start to sting.
"I know, with you, I wouldn't mind...so...please Hao Du...please..."
Later, Hao Du would wonder when it was he had truly lost his mind. Not here, here it was already far gone. How else could he explain what happened next? How he had grasped the princess by her narrow shoulders, lowering her backward onto the bed, and then, leaning over her, began to harshly grind his length into her soft hip.
"How do you know I won't hurt you?" he growled, letting one of his hands finally stroke her small white face, thumb glancing over her bottom lip, feeling her quick intake of breath and the rise of her chest at the touch.
"Because...even if you do hurt me...I know it's not because you want to."
Her voice was small but unwavering, the utter conviction in it sending a rush of blood straight to his groin. Hao Du lowered his forehead to her chest, letting out a long exhale, valiantly ignoring the pinpricks of what he refused to admit might be tears. But as he forced himself to lie still against her, he could feel the skin beneath him grow damp in spite of his effort.
It was then he felt her small hands reach up to cradle his head, tiny fingers running through the strands of hair at his nape. He shuddered at the sensation, the light scratch of her fingertips feeling pleasurable in a way he'd never experienced. Like a dog, he leaned into her touch, pressing his face into the side of her neck, overcome by the scent of rosewater she had used to bathe that morning, and the sensation of her pulse jumping beneath his lips.
Pressing his lips firmly against it, he could feel the princess’s breath stutter, her fingers stilling in the locks of his hair. He put more pressure into the kiss, before gently nipping the skin of her throat. She let out a soft whine and he immediately released her, soothing the mark he had left with a sweep of his tongue.
“Hao Du...” the princess clenched her fingers in his hair, pulling a little, and he could feel her legs shifting against each other with a rustle of silk.
“Gōng zhǔ ” he answered, somehow making her title come out as an affirmation. He drew back to look in her eyes, lashes fluttering, eyes unfocused and glazed. Her little chest heaved, and he saw her cheeks were stained pinker than the roses in the garden, the delicate flush trailing down her throat before vanishing inside the collar of her dress. Hao Du was mesmerized at the sight. Even in the most hidden corners of his mind, where his wants and desires lay buried, he had never imagined something as perfect as the vision lying beneath him. He swallowed deeply, eyes darkening as she worried a soft lip between tiny teeth. The sight made him grow even harder. Lips like that were just begging to be kissed.
“Gōng zhǔ...” it came out a question.
She smiled then, a dazzling smile, and it was aimed solely at him. His heart skipped a beat in his chest and his eyes widened in shock at the unfettered joy emanating from her expression.
“Hao Du...” Her little hands relinquished their hold on his neck, but he barely missed them, because now they were cradling his face.
"...Will you kiss me?”
That sweet murmur and beautiful smile were what finally broke him. He leaned down and captured her lips like a man dying, all the years of watching and yearning over her from a distance, every secret thought and desire poured in at once. She was here, in his arms. And she wanted him to touch her. To kiss her. To hold her. She wanted him...
He drew back, somehow afraid that this was a dream, some cruel figment of his imagination, but when he stared into her eyes they were soft, her lips swollen, trembling with want.
"Gōng zhǔ..."
She smiled again, before mischievously pulling him closer. “That’s right, I’m the princess, and you must listen to what I say.”
He let out a soft laugh at her words, echoing back to when they’d been in Youzhou, and she’d tried to stall him with a slow walk back to the inn. He'd caught onto her game quickly, and in a show of impatience, had lifted her onto his horse, taking off towards the inn at a gallop, small body held tightly against his front. He smiled at the memory of her indignant cries, and how afraid of falling off, her hands had grasped his forearms like small manacles. The memory gave him an idea, and he pulled back with a smirk, watching as her eyes widened in worry at the thought that he was pulling away after all. To her surprise, he simply rolled onto his back in the middle of the large bed, pulling her along with him. She let out a squeak of surprise as she landed on top of him, hands clutching the front of his robes.
“Hao Du..” her legs had wrapped themselves around his waist almost instinctively, knees digging into the mattress in an effort to stay balanced.
The corner of his mouth twitched in amusement, watching as she clumsily straddled him. The hands that were lightly gripping her shoulders now slid down to span her waist, fingers itching to dig into the soft flesh of her hips and drag her across the hardness in his trousers.
“Yes, Gōng zhǔ?” His long fingers tapped an unnamed melody into her sides, thumbs stroking upwards until they touched the swells of her breasts.
She inhaled with a shudder when his palms finally cupped them, unconsciously grinding against him as he gently squeezed. His hips bucked to meet her center, the movement a surprise to them both, and for a moment he froze, watching for any sign that it was too much. but he needn't have worried, because the princess merely let out a sigh, before shifting again, her movements purposeful, though still lacking finesse. He shuddered, cock straining at the seams, and he had to consciously stop himself from flipping her over to trap her beneath him.
Instead, his hands moved to play with the ribbons holding up the front of her dress, gently tugging one end, eyes questioning. To his shock and surprise, the princess took his hands in her own, placing them down to rest on her hips. She then pulled at the ribbons herself, until the top layer of her dress fell into a whisper of silk at her waist. Fingers trembling she slowly peeled back the folds of her blouse, and Hao Du found guise of unable to breathe, eyes fixed on the soft porcelain mounds and their rosy tips.
His hands dug into her hips as he ground her against him, and the princess let out a small cry of delight as he surged forward, taking one of those sweet buds in his mouth, suckling fiercely.
Leyan let out a broken moan, tipping her head back to give him better access. After a moment, he switched to the other breast, making sure to lavish it with equal attention before leaning up to capture the princess trembling lips in another heart-stopping kiss.
Her mouth had already been slightly parted, so this time Hao Du let his tongue flick inside, running it over her dainty teeth before finding her own hidden within. At first, Leyan wasn’t sure what to do, and he could tell by the hesitant way the tip of her tongue met his. But soon she had caught on to the rhythm of their mouths lovemaking, to the point where she whimpered as he drew away, the swollen petals of her lips glistening in a mixture of both their saliva.
“...Let me..." he reached to pull the simple jade pin out of her hair, and in its absence, the dark waterfall of her hair tumbled down past her waist, its fragrance wafting through the room in a way that made him feel dizzy. With a trembling hand, he ran his fingers through the strands, starting at the crown of her head, stroking down the soft curtains that hung to her waist. The only other time he'd seen the princess with her hair down was when he'd interrupted her after a bath. He'd entered her room without thinking, delivering the letter his only thought. Who knew that he'd be fortunate enough to gaze on the princess in such a state. The gauzy silk of her underrobes doing little to hide the body within. Her long hair falling in a glorious curtain of satin, the scent of it enough to make him stop breathing. He'd turned away immediately, flushing red to the tips of his ears, stuttering over his meager explanation. But the princess hadn't seemed to mind, hardly registering his obvious blunder. She'd reached to take the letter from him, and even addressed him personally in a way that had caused a smile to reach his mouth unbidden.
And now here he was, actually touching that fall of satin, running his hands through the thick of it until it curled in a silken heap at her waist, where a crumple of skirts was the only barrier that remained between him and her soft heat.
As he continued to stare in awe at the beauty before him, the princess flushed an even deeper shade of pink. Fixing her tiny hands into his collar, she leaned towards him in a perfumed whisper, and to his shock, began placing small kisses at the base of his throat.
Hao Du's hands tightened in her hair, bringing her tender explorations to a halt, meeting her eyes briefly before slanting his mouth back over her own. As he kissed her with such fervor, Leyan felt an unexpected wetness leak from her secret place, and she shifted across his lap in a mixture of embarrassment and desire to feel more.
"Hao Du...I need..." she gasped the words out, chest heaving, fingers still tightly holding onto his collar. She didn't know what she needed exactly, but she knew it was more than this. Her little hands began to clumsily tear at the front of his robes. It wasn't fair that he still had so many layers on!
"Gōng zhǔ...are you sure?" It took the last vestiges of his control to ask, and even if it killed him, Hao Du knew if she shook her head even the slightest, that he’d gently free himself from her embrace and leave her side forever.
But she didn’t shake her head, instead, she leaned down to place a wet kiss on his lips, her breath tickling his jaw. “I’m sure.”
It was enough. Hao Du practically tore off his robes in his haste, while the princess unprompted, unfastened his belt, and began untying the string of his pants. When the last tie was pulled loose, his hot length sprang forward, begging to be touched. To her credit, the princess only paused for a moment at the sight. It looked nothing like the hidden books she and Changge had giggled over in the library, the ones with the yellow covers containing obscene paintings of couples in positions that made no earthly sense. It didn’t look like a knife or a cudgel, something that would cause pain. Instead, it looked smooth and graceful, and when she reached out to touch, it was unbearably warm, and smooth like velvet.
Hao Du closed his eyes at the sensation, tensing his jaw and breathing heavily. The princess tried wrapping her hand around it completely but her fingers weren’t quite long enough. She frowned slightly, only to be startled when Hao Du suddenly laughed out loud. When she looked up, she couldn't help but be awed. His eyes were crinkled at the corners, his mouth stretched wide, and he was looking at her as though where were the moon and stars combined. As though he couldn’t quite believe she was there at all. Then his large hand encircled her own, adjusting her grip and guiding her in a slow stroke up and down.
"Like that?" When he grunted in pleasure and tipped his head back, she took advantage of his loosened grip to wrap her other hand around his girth, using both of them together to hug and stroke his length.
"Gōng zhǔ ...you need to stop..." he gritted out, gently prying her little hands from their prize, breathing heavily. The feel of her was too much, and he was seconds away from losing control.
Leyan froze, horrified. "Did I do something wrong?"
This time his laugh came out strangled. "No Gōng zhǔ, no..." He pulled her towards him, kissing her swiftly on the lips, then again on her nose. "It was too right."
Leyan flushed, smiling up at him delightedly. Hao Du looked as though he wanted to eat her up, as though she were a manju bun, or a sugar rabbit.
"Gōng zhǔ."
His eyes had grown inexplicably tender, and if she looked closely, she was sure they were moist as well. "Gōng zhǔ, let's stop here."
"Hao Du..!" Leyan felt her heart skip a beat inside her chest, her mouth turning downwards.
He slowly sat up, taking her with him, his hands moving to cup her face ever so gently. "It's because I don't want to hurt you Gōng zhǔ." He took a deep breath, steadying himself. "These are things you should do with your husband."
"Then be my husband."
The words left her mouth before she could stop them, and now they were forever hanging in the air between them.
"Gōng zhǔ..."
She clutched at his hands as they fell away from her face, unable to stop. "Why can't you? Your father is loyal to mine...you're an important member of the court... and..." she stopped, tears filling her voice as she looked at their clasped fingers.
"You like me a little, don't you?"
Her head bent forward, tears trailing down her cheeks. He wiped them away softly before gathering her into his arms. Lying back on the bed, Hao Du silently drew the covers over them. Leyan could hear his heart beating loudly from where her ear rested against his chest, but couldn't see the anguish on his face. One of his arms cradled her against him while the other lightly ran through the long strands of her hair. As she drifted off to the warmth of his hands, the princess missed his reply.
"Only a little? Gōng zhǔ ...this servant loves you much more than that."