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Based on Minho’s estimate, Kim Kibum spends about 70% of his time being ornery, 20% being shockingly caring, 5% hesitantly showing romantic affection, and 5% being aggressively, unbelievably horny.
Minho lives for that last 5%. He thinks he hides it pretty well, though. Unlike Kibum.
To other people, it doesn’t look like much. The shift is only really brought up during the mind-numbingly boring period between filming individual scenes for their latest music video- and only because Kibum is well out of earshot.
“Hyung’s bitching more than usual today,” Taemin states, the dichotomy between the honorific and the statement itself seemingly of no concern to him. “He acts all sweet to the staff...I bet he wouldn’t call a loving gift of canned coffee from them ‘too metallic’ and ‘unsuited for his tastes’.”
Jonghyun snorts. “Didn’t a coordi noona give that to you and you said it was too bitter? No wonder he didn’t want it.”
“Ah, Taemin’s right that Kibum’s pretty touchy today though,” Jinki interjects, to the surprise of half the room. “I watched him walk into a set piece and curse at it.” He pauses, ruminating. “Didn’t really understand half of what he said, to be honest.”
Minho nods silently, trying to pretend he doesn’t see his members turning towards him. He can practically hear their thoughts. There’s no way Kibum didn’t start a fight with Minho if he’s in such a bad mood.
Unable to stand it after about 10 seconds, he turns around to face them. Minho clears his throat. “He was pretty normal to me. Kibum’s often a grouch.” The stares of disbelief he receives tell him that maybe he’s not the master liar he assumed he is.
“Are you kidding hyung?” Taemin screeches. “He told me I have noodles for limbs! Usually he’s nice about that kind of stuff!” Jonghyun silently goes to comfort Taemin, who’s pouting at the severe insult. Jinki very quietly laughs but smiles reassuringly...or maybe he just always looks like that.
Thankfully, the rather pointless conversation is cut short by a staff member telling them to get ready for yet another group dance shot. Minho lets himself cast his eyes upwards to the heavens in gratitude, which Jonghyun gives him a look for. Whatever.
Minho knows why Kibum is being such a dick, but can’t do anything about it for the next...8 hours? 10 hours? Hell, they could be here for months and it would all still feel like the same slog of time.
Anyways, Kibum has been horny since this morning, god knows why. Minho knew it as soon as they greeted each other- in the usual mating display, Kibum had been dressed to the nines, a ludicrously expensive sweater showing off his jewelry-adorned collarbone. He had sweetly pressed himself against Minho’s chest and looked at him with glittering eyes, told (ostensibly the rest of the group as well) Minho that he had to check the storage closet for an iron, as if ironing their own costumes was something they’d done since debut.
But Minho had ignored the flirtation, refusing to waste his energy before a filming at six in the morning (on a side note, who the hell got horny at six in the morning??). So Kibum had left the storage closet 15 minutes later, alone, no less wrinkled than before, and a whole lot pissier.
In a lot of ways, this is dangerous. A normally horny Kibum was clingy, if manageable. A rage-and-hormone-fueled Kibum was downright terrifying. He would unintentionally punish them all if he didn’t get his way. But it wasn’t as if Minho could tell the production crew to pack up their things just so the talent could get their hormones out of the way- Kibum would just have to deal until the shooting was over.
With this resolution in his mind, Minho puts his all into the next few scenes he’s in, even knowing that the majority won’t end up being used. Throughout it, he repeats to himself just a few of the mantras he’s picked up over the years. Choi Minho is a professional. Choi Minho is the poster boy of SM. Choi Minho can do anything. Choi Minho is…
“Waah, our Kibum is so sexy!” yells Jonghyun during the nth wardrobe change of the day.
...a weak, weak man.
Sparing nary a single glance in Minho’s general direction, Kibum steps out in his third outfit of the day. While the other members are wearing tastefully artistic variations on their usual fitted-suit attires, he’s a vision in a transparent mesh button-up, a satin cummerbund, and a matching lace suit jacket and pants. The overall look should leave little to the imagination, but the overlapping layers do just enough to obscure any wandering eyes. That’s not even to mention the eyeliner- and Minho’s going to stop right there, because he has to look away before he does something stupid, like compliment him.
We have had sex. I have seen this man naked more times than I can count. There is no reason I should be getting flustered over the 500th semi-sexy outfit he’s worn in his life.
While Minho is having his internal crisis, the other members are having a ball. Jonghyun’s calculating which dance moves will cause Kibum’s nipples to be visible, which is sending Jinki and Taemin into hysterics. Kibum simply smugly accepts the various comments, before sauntering over to Minho, whose brain has to take some time to catch up before realizing he’s suddenly sitting directly eye-level to Kibum’s belly button.
“Nice outfit.” Minho tells him, trying to sound disaffected, but knowing he’s failed when Kibum’s smirk turns into a grin.
“Did you forget we have a duo scene together? Based on this look,” he gestures to himself, “I’m guessing we’re cranking up the 91-line fanservice.” Minho’s fear must show in his face, because Kibum’s grin then becomes one of his famous hyena laughs.
Temporarily distracted from Jonghyun’s comedy hour, Taemin turns around. “What is hyung laughing about? Minho’s outfit isn’t half as funny as yours is.”
Kibum’s eyes sparkle, a sure sign of mischief. “Oh, his jacket is just so wrinkly,” he says. “Maybe he should have ironed with me earlier, now he looks ridiculous.”
Fuck.
____________
The scene does in fact turn out to be, as Kibum predicted, pure fanservice. Minho is supposed to act cool while Kibum strokes his hand down his side, whispers nonsense into his ear, rubs up against him like a cat. The director is getting progressively more irritated at Minho’s apparently uncomfortable look, and yells at him to “pretend it’s his girlfriend.”
“I feel bad for that girlfriend, considering what we did last weekend.” Kibum murmurs to him, just audible enough that no one else will hear, but still enough that Minho’s whole face will flush. This is really not the time to mention last weekend, which is still a vivid memory in both of their minds.
Minho’s hands are straining against the leather cuffs holding him in place. He wants so badly to mess Kibum up, but the other man is riding him like a toy, bouncing at whatever pace he wants.
Kibum chuckles as Minho lets out short, desperate moans. “You promised you wouldn’t cum for…” Kibum glances over at the bedside clock. “Another six minutes. Aren’t you going to be good for me?”
Minho frantically nods, pushing his face into the side of his bicep to stifle a long whine.
“Wonderful,” Kibum coos, splitting himself open at a breakneck pace, “because only good boys get to fuck me hard.”
Back in the present time, Minho discreetly pinches himself in the thigh, then winces because he did it too hard. Kibum’s keeping his model face on, but his eyes are glistening with unshed tears of laughter. They try a few more standing poses, before the props manager drags out some sort of throne for Minho to sit on.
Kibum’s doing his best to drape himself over the chair without outright collapsing on it, but the director only purses his lips. “Try something else, Kibum-ssi. This song’s a bit provocative, you know?”
Ever-obedient, Kibum follows the direction and swings himself onto Minho’s lap. The director shouts in satisfaction, Kibum shifts into another pose directly on top of his crotch, and Minho tries very hard to think unsexy thoughts. Unclogging the old dorm toilet. Jinki-hyung picking his nose.
Kibum pulls the side of Minho’s head towards his mouth, in an attempt to look like he’s sharing some kind of scandalous secret. Unfortunately for Minho, Kibum is a method actor.
“You’re coming to my place after we wrap up, right?” he whispers. Toenail clippings. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch.
“We can order some food, I’ll open up one of my nice Zinfandel bottles…” Dirty laundry. Comme-des and Garçons cockblocking. Wait, don’t think anything Kibum-related.
“And then..." Kibum pauses for dramatic effect. "Your Bummie will punish you, how about that?” he finishes with an extra dose of aegyo, purposely over the top.
And really, that? That’s what gets him going? Minho needs to have his brain studied. Or removed. Kibum does a startlingly good Cheshire cat impression as he realizes what exactly he’s sitting on, but doesn’t have a chance to make any more incendiary remarks before the director proclaims he’s satisfied, the teen girls will go nuts, and they’re whisked back to the waiting room.
Minho politely greets everyone again, and says the scene went well. He spends exactly five minutes going around the room; congratulating Jinki on completing his 3000th Candy Crush Saga level, making a joke about Jonghyun’s napping posture to Taemin, thanking the staff once again because why not? Then he just as politely excuses himself to use the restroom and walks straight to the storage room, where he politely waits exactly two more minutes.
Kibum enters precisely on time, wearing the exact smug face that Minho, god help him, cannot get enough of. He leans forward when he speaks to Minho, hot breath just close enough.
“Too bad you’re not patient. You could’ve enjoyed some dinner before sucking my cock.” He knows Minho gets off on his dirty mouth, and enthusiastically weaponizes it. “Are you going to be good and get on your knees, or do I have to push you down?”
It’s a great thing dancing has made Minho’s knees fairly bruise-resistant, he just hopes the closet floor isn’t dirty enough to stain his pants. These useless thoughts, however, go right out the window when he’s presented with Kibum’s cock. It’s nothing new to him, and in terms of size he doesn’t care too much- it’s a size he likes, a weight he likes. He likes it when it’s down his throat, and he likes it up his ass. He loves to see the ruddy head turn cherry-red, glossy with spit.
Minho’s been contemplating too long apparently. Kibum makes a complaining noise and nudges his leg against Minho as if urging a pony to gallop. It’s so cute and reminiscent of Kibum’s usual (constant) complaining that he feels rather fond when he finally places his mouth on the head.
From there it’s usually half instinct, half strategy. Minho, competitive as he is, loves challenging himself to see how far down he can go. As luck (and practice) would have it, that’s pretty far down- to the base even, on his best days. Conveniently, Kibum also very much enjoys this and is happy to spur him on.
On this particular occasion, however, spurred by Kibum’s provocation and not thinking too much about his vocal condition- Minho’s a bit less inch by inch and a bit more I’m gonna cram this down my throat. Kibum even has to pull him back briefly, with a little “whoa there, cowboy.”
Muscle memory eventually kicks in, though, and the two men find a compromise- Kibum shallowly but steadily thrusting into his mouth. They have to perform in a couple days, so they can’t get too crazy.
Kibum’s talking tapers off as he gets closer to cumming, replaced with occasional swearing- Minho always feels accomplished if he can hear Kibum curse in his regional dialect. Sometimes he repeats what he hears to Kibum in public places to get under his skin, which is just a little bonus.
Minho swallows when Kibum cums, only partly out of consideration for the filming site’s janitorial staff. The other part he doesn’t think about too hard.
The second he’s done he finds Kibum’s hand vigorously stroking Minho’s dick, lips against his own. Kibum’s generally unbothered by the taste of cum, which he likes to take advantage of.
In a time shorter than Minho’s about to admit, he cums into some tissues Kibum’s unsurprisingly prepared. He closes his eyes and pants like he just ran a marathon, and jumps when he feels something cool against his forehead- a bottle of an electrolyte-rich sports drink. Kibum’s looking away somewhat as he presents it to Minho.
Minho’s eyes become puppy-dog wide. “You’ve seduced me all over again.”
Kibum starts to roll his eyes, but lands on fondly laughing at Minho. “Anyway, go on and drink that. I think we have one more group shot and I don’t want your breath to smell like dick.” Minho chooses to hear I really like you, so he says that back and watches as Kibum becomes very pink under his foundation.
____________
Kibum reenters the waiting room a fashionable six minutes after Minho, and very discreetly high fives the now-awake Jonghyun as he passes his chair. He sleepily smirks and raises his eyebrows back. Jinki is, predictably, now on his 3010th level of Candy Crush Saga. Taemin seems to be having a conversation with Minho, who’s making his “trusted hyung” face that he uses to appear credible. Seeing Kibum, Taemin furrows his brow.
“Wait, so you both had poop explosions? What did you guys eat? Did I eat it??” Taemin says, genuine panic rising in his voice. “I’m filming for SuperM after this and I can’t afford a poop explosion right now!”
Kibum mentally prepares himself to both start comforting Taemin and swatting Minho. It's going to be a long filming as usual.