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ODD EYE
Kirishima has secrets, everyone does.
He remembers the panic when his friend asked to use his bathroom. What if he went trough the cabinets? What if he finds the bleach and red hair dye he forgot to hide?
Thankfully Kaminari didn't, or he decided not to ask (not that Kaminari is exactly the kind of guy to stay silent about his discovery's).
He remembers his heart racing. Two classmates behind him were talking about some hot girl. They called his name and asked what he thought of her. Before Kirishima could answer something that didn't sound like a lie, one of them said "I don't think we should ask him out of all people, he never talks about girls."
The world stopped right there for a moment for Kirishima. The other holding the phone was silent for a second before smirking. "How about dudes? Like those?" Kirishima had to turn away to hide his slight blush. His friend next to him didn't even eye him, busy with her homework.
It’s not that he hides the fact he’s gay around his friends. They never asked and he never gave a confirmation.
Sometimes Kirishima isn’t sure why he hides those secrets. So what if he dyes his hair to feel better? Is it a crime?
Maybe it's the idea of getting treated the same as back in middle school? Just thinking back at his younger self makes him cringe. It makes him feel vulnerable, he doesn't like that, he doesn't want that. He wants to be confident, manly.
On top of that, he has an even bigger secret.
What definitely isn't much of an secret is that he is clumsy as hell. If you ask anyone who knows him to describe Kirishima in one word, they'll answer clumsy. Do you need someone to pour the drinks? Do not Kirishima because he will pour half of it everywhere except the cup.
Kirishima really doesn't do it on purpose. Every time it happens he's quite actually smiling trough the pain.
He has already lost count how many times he thought he really caught the ball this time when it ended up hitting his head or the floor, again. It's a bummer because Kirishima loves sporting. Kaminari once promised Kirishima he'd pay dinner if Kirishima could score two points in basketball. Spoiler alert, Kirishima ended up paying dinner.
Sometimes Kirishima would think that stuff is further away but ends up bumping into it, or into someone.
That is how he met Katsuki.
Their first meeting began, well, bad. The blonde was not happy with the incident and Kirishima was pretty sure he was finally getting himself killed this time. Instead of apologizing with tears in his eyes and a nervous voice like any sane person would do, he laughed while apologizing.
Katsuki did not like that and perhaps Kirishima ended up with a bruise or two. That one was probably well deserved.
Since then they accidentally kept meeting. At one point Kirishima thought fuck it and started hanging around the blonde. He saw Katsuki alone time to time, sometimes with his classmates he calls 'Deku' or 'Round face' (Kirishima decided not to say out loud he finds it cute that Katsuki gives people nicknames, even if he means them to be offensive).
First Katsuki pushed him away but eventually gave in as he realized Kirishima really wasn't going to leave him alone. Sometimes he joins the squad their 'stupid bullshit' (for as long his socials battery lets him). He told them he hates them all and they're a waste of time, but shows up anyway.
It's nice having Katsuki around. He is everything Kirishima had always wished to be. Confident and manly. And Katsuki doesn't laugh like the rest when Kirishima walks against a pole for the second time that day.
Somehow he always knows when Kirishima means to be funny, he knows when to and when no to silently chuckle at Kirishima his actions.
It's one of their friends birthday party when Kirishima regretted once again being involved. He truly loves and cares for his friends but they never seemed to realize when Kirishima was uncomfortable with the teasing.
As a joke they assigned him to prepare the drinks. They probably think that Kirishima is either acting funny to be fun or that is isn't that bad, probably. It's alright, not their fault, they don't know. It just has to be pouring drink out of all things.
Kirishima bought the drinks, the cups (they insisted on plastic cups, of course) and whatever else was needed. To prevent at least a bit of embarrassment he finished the drink mix at his own dorm. he just needs to add the last few things there and pour it.
With three cans of drink, a bag of other stuff, the cursed plastic cups and a little mental preparation he came in. Kaminari, Mina and Sero were already busy preparing the dorm room and told him he could get started after they talked a bit.
He put his stuff on the table and got started. Finishing the drinks went fine, in the end. When he was busy pulling the plastic cups out the bag, Katsuki came in yelling how fucking ugly the room looks. Kirishima greets him with a smile.
Putting the cups on the table without knocking them over was already enough mental damage. He is pretty sure he'll start crying at one point. See, if the cups were heavy then he could do it without making a mess. The plastic cups go flying anytime his hands touches them.
And his best friend just has to also be in the kitchen, as he is responsible for the food.
Katsuki watches Kirishima knocking over another cup for the maybe hundredth time. "Shitty hair, need some fucking help?" he asked with a raised brow. It's probably ment as a joke but honestly Kirishima has reaches his limit. "Yes, please."
With a half hearted sneer Katsuki takes the cups and neatly puts them in rows while Kirishima tries to calm himself the fuck down. He can't even put some fucking cups on a table, damn.
"Sorry" he mumbles after a minute. He feels truly useless and at this point he would jump out the kitchen window if that's what it takes to disappear. The only thing that makes him some sort of relieved is that it's Katsuki and not anyone else. They definitely would laugh.
"Not my fault you're clumsy as shit" Katsuki says with a calm voice. He rarely uses it and if he does it's ment as threatening, but Kirishima finds himself melting in it. "Yeah, still" he just sighs. He too wishes he could do a simple task without it having to be a mess.
When Katsuki is done the birthday boy himself comes in. "Yoo, they're coming in a few! How's it going?" Kaminari asks with a huge smile as he eyes Kirishima.
With a smile Kirishima jazz hands around the cups. "Neat!" Kaminari says with two thumbs up. Kirishima could sense he didn't believe it.
So he laughs drily and admits "kidding, Blasty helped me." He knows getting help is meant nice, obviously. But it's not fair to credit himself for someone else's work, that's totally a not manly thing to do.
Katsuki rolls his eyes and Kaminari begins laughing harder before turning to see Katsuki his work. He also likes to work alone so it was already finished.
Instead of sulking Kirishima carefully grabs a cup (without knocking other one over!) and a can. Leaning the tip of the can on the cup he carefully pours the drink. Now he just has to put the cup back. He hates how such a simple thing is a whole ass mission to do.
He turns to his left to see the two are still faced away from him. He turns back and carefully cups the cup back, knocking another over.
It's going just fine with the first three cups. As long as he is focused and concentrated on the task without begin distracted- "hand me the other can."
Kirishima would've jumped out of his skin if he wasn't used to having people suddenly appear on his right. Normally he would sense or hear it but he was too focused on the job just now.
With a nod Kirishima hands Katsuki the other can and goes ahead to fill the next one. "Tell me why those idiots made you responsible for the drinks again" Katsuki huffs as he pours the drink into the cups from the table. Like that it's obviously way faster.
Kirishima just shrugs as he puts one cup back and takes another one. In that one cup he did, Katsuki has already finished the amount that Kirishima had done in total.
"Is there like a reason or whatever?" Katsuki asks, way calmer then his usual self, again. Kirishima feels himself freeze and his sweat turning cold.
Obviously there is a reason. He's just too much of and coward to admit. He doesn't want to be treated differently, he doesn't want others to make fun of him.
But Katsuki isn't like that, he knows so. Despite what others might think. Katuski doesn't care who you are in a competition, or just generally. He hates everyone equally (he told when Sero asked about it).
Still, he never found himself telling him.
"Are you going answer or fill the last cup?" Katsuki growls as he puts the second empty can down. Kirishima his heart is racing as he turns to see Bakugou properly. "I- ehm.." he begins, trying to make out words. Katsuki doesn't interrupt or takes the cup out of his hands to finish himself. He waits.
"Can you.. promise me first?" Kirishima says a bit uneasy and finishes the last cup and carefully puts it back. "Who the hell do you think I am?" Katsuki snarls with no real meaning behind.
Kirishima grins. "Can it just stays between.. like, us?" Fuck, he feels so incredibly stupid. It's like his middle school self all over again.
The look in Katsuki's eyes are sharp and analyzing, he stays silent. "Come on man, just say yes" Kirishima whines. "Fine, whatever" Katuski says bitter. But he wouldn't agree if he doesn't mean it.
Kirishima his chest is feeling heavy as there is an sudden realization, he's going to tell Katsuki.
Right here, right now.
Peeking around to make sure no one is here, Kirishima leans a but closer to Katsuki. "I can't see with my right eye" he whispers.
There is no reaction, at all. Did he not hear? His hearing aids are on right? If not he couldn't have heard him before.
Then Katsuki blinks and his eyes fall on Kirishima his right eye, probably looking for some kind of explanation. "How the fuck did you managed to keep such a secret for so damn long?" Katsuki then asks. Kirishima laughs and slaps him on the shoulder.
"I'm pretty clumsy myself, so it probably comes off pretty natural, doesn't it?" he asks with a smile. Katsuki mutters something along the lines 'fucking apparently'.
Before they could talk any longer they hear the door open and Kaminari greets his guests.
Katsuki grabs Kirishima by the wrist and ignores Kaminari complaining as they walk passed the guests to the hallways.
They say nothing. Katsuki looks mad, madder than usual. Kirishima appreciates he can keep himself collected as for now. To finish things faster he begins explaining.
"It was a small accident when I was younger. But some bacteria came in my eye and destroyed it. When I noticed my view looking different it was already too late. They did try surgery, which, obviously didn't work, bla bla bla. I wear contacts which is why you can't really see it. I got basically zero perception, which is why, you know" he rambles, avoiding Katsuki his eyes.
The silence grows louder than the music trough the walls. Some people pass by and eye the two. They most definitely can feel the tension between them, nice.
"Why didn't you fucking tell me?!" Katsuki snarls in his familiar angry voice. Kirishima shrugs.
"I'm basically half fucking deaf without my stupid ass hearing aids and you- did you thought I would laugh at you or some shit?!" he yells frustrated. If Kirishima could feel any worse he definitely does so. “Why didn't you tell me?!" he roars.
Kirishima forgets to breathe for a moment. Great, now he made his best friend feel fucking horrible.
"I don't know! I just- .. You didn't hide it, you don't care what others think. And I wish i could do the same but I can't, I don't have the same confidence as you!" he shout whispers. He doesn't want anyone else to hear him.
"Bullshit" Katsuki hisses. "Okay, you gotta help me out and explain yourself cause I'm not a mindreader" Kirishima sighs. "Bull-shit. You're friends with fucking every living being in school and just last week you walked around campus without a fucking shirt on! You're the only one willingly hanging around my shit self. So fuck off with that! You're stupidly strong and confident." Katsuki rants with gestures.
"That was a dare, man! And it's different, alright?" "How is it any fucking different?" "I wasn't always this confident, alright? I didn't always kept it a secret but I do now. You're the only one to know besides school and my parents" Kirishima sighs.
The have a following silent conversation before Katsuki flips him off and goes back inside. Kirishima follows him inside. Kirishima is aware that Katsuki is avoiding talking to him but is sending more peeks at him than usual at the party.
--
True to his word it stayed between them and Katsuki doesn't act any different for the following time. Perhaps some quick looks when Kirishima was being clumsy again but he never went ahead to do or say something about it. Kirishima is glad. Glad that someone knows, that Katsuki knows, that Katsuki treats him the same as before.
Probably weeks later they're hanging at Kirishima's dorm room, just the two of them. His dorm buddy is at his family's for the weekend so they got the fort for themselves. After some debating with himself he finally decided to ask Katsuki to come sleep over.
Katsuki is reading a book with his glasses that never fail to make Kirishima all warm inside. he himself is playing a game on his nintendo. There is some music playing in the background and there are snacks and drinks on the table. They both have no idea what to do at a sleep over, but that doesn't really matter.
"Take 'em off" Katsuki tells Kirishima after a bit. "Huh?" Kirishima asks, confused by what he means. "Your contacts, loser" "oh, right. Sure!"
And now he's in the bathroom, staring at his ugly naked eye. His contacts are already a bit more darker and natural then his normal crimson red eye, but the silver blue is totally obvious.
After regretting all his life choices he finally let's go of the sink and walks out, tempted to hide is hideous eye.
He can't see Katsuki as he's on his right, but he sure as hell can feel the strong presence. Awkwardly Kirishima sits back down and picks up the Nintendo. The game is forgotten as he's actually trying to keep himself together in front of Katsuki.
He can still feel Katsuki looking at him and he has no idea how to feel.
"I know it looks ugly" Kirishima breathes out, not looking up. "Look at me" Katsuki says. A wave, no, a whole damn ocean of insecurity washes over Kirishima at once. Memories from middle school who he thought he had finally forgotten at teasing him, yelling at him.
"Look at me" Katsuki says now harsher, more demanding. His face reacts in autopilot and he raises his face, looking Katsuki in the eyes.
He doesn't look disgusting or weirded out. It's the same frown as ever.
"It looks fucking bad ass, stop acting like I'm going to drop you just because of that." He says as it's obvious.
Does he actually mean that? Or is it like that one kid back then? There is no way Katsuki thinks that it's normal, because it's not.
Hell, he must be really uncomfortable at this point. This is stupid, idiotic, Kirishima never should've invited him or told him. What if Katsuki tells everyone when they get in a fight? What if everyone already secretly knows?
No, Kirishima tells himself. Katsuki would never tell someone else. He promised.
"Idiot, I told you to stop fucking worrying so damn much" Kirishima can hear Katsuki growl, from somewhere. Two hands are on his shoulder as he gets shaken softly. "Snap out of it, Eijiro." Katsuki says, now closer.
Snap out of it? Out of what? Kirishima wants to ask, but his mouth doesn't move the way it wants. Ah, that's what going on.
The warm hands leave his shoulders and he's alone again. Of course he's alone, he always is. Sooner or later him and Katsuki will grow apart too, won't they?
A splash of water makes him gasp and blink. "Breathe" Katsuki orders as he puts the nintendo and glass away.
Now Kirishima his aware is breathing is shit. There are half gasps and then sputters as he's trying to breathe out. Air, air, he needs air, he needs to breathe.
"Hey! Stay with me, look me in the eyes" Katsuki says and sits in front of Kirishima. His hands are on his shoulders again, it's warm again.
"Breathe with me" Katsuki says with a calm voice, but there is tension hidden, Kirishima can hear it, feel it.
Somehow he can find himself trying to match Katsuki his breathing. He doesn't know how long it took but if mind is finally clearing. He wasn't even aware how foggy it was meanwhile.
The music in the background feels a little out of place but neither of them put it off. "I'm so sorry, Katsuki" Kirishima whimpers. His lips are shaking.
"Why" Katsuki asks. Kirishima let's out a sad chuckle, isn't it obvious? "Making you uncomfortable, freaking out, asking you to come over." Instead of Katsuki agreeing, he scoffs and digs his fingers a little harder in Kirishima his shoulders.
"Don't you ever fucking apologize for such bullshit again. You did not make me uncomfortable and I wouldn't came if I didn't want to." Katsuki says. His eyes look confident, trying to prove his point. Kirishima bets his look scared, sad.
Another apology weights on his tongue but he holds it back.
"Can I hug you?" he asks before thinking about it. Katsuki bites his lip, breathes in and out. "Come here" he mutters as he pulls Kirishima closer, wrapping his arms around his neck. Kirishima digs his face in Katsuki his shoulder and puts his own arms around the blonde is tiny waist.
He can hear Katsuki his heart pounding in his chest, powerful and fast. He can smell Katsuki, sweet but strong, a little like burned caramel. He can feel his body touching Katsuki, holding each other like puzzle pieces.
They sit in silence like that. Kirishima doesn't know how long, he hopes really long.
Eventually they let each other go. They (Katsuki) make dinner and watch some stupid movie as they eat. When Kirishima looks at the time he sees it's passed midnight.
After they finish eating they snuggle back on the couch with pillows and blankets, leaning against each other. It's way too warm but too comfortable.
"Dinner, tomorrow" Katsuki suddenly says. Kirishima looks at his left, curious. Katsuki his face is red and avoiding eye contact. "Do you mean.. as in a- a date?" he asks carefully. Katsuki hums in conformation.
Kirishima is being painfully honest when he says he never saw his best friend like that. Although he had always admired the blonde and felt all warm whenever he saw his hidden side.
Katsuki doesn't do things he doesn't mean and honestly, Kirishima doesn't find it such a bad of an idea to date Katsuki.
"Okay" is the only answer.