Chapter Text
So that was it. They’d slept together.
Pale light hit Marinette’s eyes and she found herself rousing from slumber. With soft, easy movements she turned over towards Adrien. In his sleep, his hand was outstretched towards her, keeping her within arms reach.
Marinette had no idea how to feel about that. She had no idea how to feel about lots of things. True, she’d often imagined what it would be like to sleep next to Adrien, but it usually involved being snuggled into his side. Gentle morning kisses. Strong arms wrapped around her keeping her warm and secure.
Though, in her fantasies, they’d actually been a couple at that point. She hadn’t considered a time she might wake up next to Adrien without being romantically involved. Life did always like to surprise her.
And granted, the piles of slumbering bodies around them made the moment far less romantic than Marinette wished, but this was good enough for her.
Alix had had a birthday slumber party. Though technically the boys and girls were meant to be in separate bedrooms, the night had ended with all of them crowded into Alix’s entertainment room. It was huge, basically a miniature cinema with tons of plush sofas and armchairs. They’d watched a number of cheesy movies but, when Alix suggested some scary movies too, they decided to bring in blankets so that there was somewhere for everyone to hide if it got too spooky. The blankets had proved either a fantastic idea or a terrible mistake as, one by one, they’d all nodded off to sleep.
Glancing at Adrien’s slumbering face, his long eyelashes fluttering mid-dream, Marinette found herself turning red as she recalled how they’d accidentally cuddled together on the sofa behind her, especially at the scariest parts. True, Marinette didn’t mind horror, but she hated anything too gory and Alien was well known for a particular body horror scene which always made her cringe.
She was lucky she’d already seen it. Adrien hadn’t, and had almost squeezed her hand off he’d held it so tight. Once he’d realised he apologised profusely, but Marinette still wondered if he was referring to squeezing too hard or just the act of holding her hand. She hoped it was the former.
Eventually they’d slunk down to the floor instead, as Kim had wanted to stretch out his legs and they felt bad. He’d had the smallest armchair most of the night.
So here they were. On the floor of Alix’s entertainment room, surrounded by friends.
Friends.
A long time ago, Marinette had resigned herself to the fact that that was how Adrien saw her. A friend. It had taken a lot of time to overcome the hurt, and her heart wasn’t yet fully recovered from his unwitting rejection. For her, they’d always be an unfinished letter, a symphony without string section, a chord with a note missing. Something would always be unfinished. The lack of closure didn’t help her with her moving on, but she was trying.
After all, being friends wasn’t a lesser status than a romantic relationship. It was simply different from the one she wanted most from him. That wasn’t Adrien’s fault. Trying to re-frame it that way had helped her a lot, but she still allowed herself to feel the pangs of rejection nonetheless.
Now, in the quiet light of dawn, looking at the boy she was trying so hard not to love, the expression so close, yet so far, popped into her head and she found herself curling inward. Yet, despite the sadness welling up in her chest, she couldn’t take her eyes away. He was beautiful, lying there looking like peace personified. She hoped he was having nice dreams, ones where he got to relax. It was a miracle he’d even been allowed to have the night off for a slumber party.
Kim snorted as he flipped over in his sleep, the loudness of it brought her out of her gloomy thoughts. With a sigh, she turned and began shuffling away from Adrien…
Only to be stopped by Adrien’s outstretched arm.
A hand curled around her shoulder and Marinette froze, trying her hardest not to squeal and wake up everyone in the room.
Adrien shuffled towards her whilst pulling her back towards him at the same time. Her back pressed against his chest and his other arm came to curl around her waist.
“Stay,” Adrien whispered, and Marinette’s heart must have decided dawn was the perfect time for a salsa dance, such was the intensity of it slamming against her chest.
Stay? What the hell did he mean by that? Why did he want her to stay? He didn’t like her romantically and good friends definitely don’t sleep and cuddle next to each other like the way he was doing. They were practically spooning!
“Umm…Adrien?” she whispered, uncertainty laced through her words. Was he still asleep? He had to be, right? The sound of his gentle breathing suggested so. The talking gave the opposite evidence. Unless Adrien talked in his sleep, which was another cute thing she needed to file away immediately, to stop herself falling for him again right when she was trying her hardest to get over him.
You’re going to be under him in a minute if you don’t do something! Her traitorous mind screamed at her as Adrien placed his chin on the top of her head.
“Cuddle,” he whispered, so faintly Marinette almost didn’t hear it over the sound of her mind exploding-
This is fine, this is fine, this is- OH GOD PLEASE THIS IS NOT FINE HELP.
It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy the cuddle. Adrien felt so warm and cosy. The scent of mint from his shampoo surrounded her. His hands were large and comforting against her. It felt like they could block out anything bad in the world. There was nothing she wanted more than to let him snuggle into her, to do this every day with him.
But it was her fantasy and right now, it was his literal dream too. It wasn’t real, and having Adrien cuddle her like this was another painful reminder of something she’d wanted for so long, but was unable to have.
Marinette closed her eyes. “Adrien, wake up. It’s morning.”
She paused between each word, the gaps filled with thoughts she wouldn’t dare express.
Wake up.
It’s dawn outside.
And in the light of the morning, you don’t love me like I love you.
When he didn’t stir, she flipped over, which proved difficult as Adrien’s arm was strangely heavy. Turning to stare at him again, she pulled back as much as she could in order to see his face, and gave him the tiniest of nudges. “Adrien,” she repeated. “It’s morning. Wake up.”
At last, Adrien began to stir. A crinkle appeared in between his eyebrows as he frowned and he shifted from side-to-side, stretching and humming as he went.
His eyes were the last to wake. Fluttering them open, the vivid green eyes caught the light pouring in from the half-closed blinds, making them appear like dappled sunlight on moss. They came to rest on Marinette, and she found herself unable to breathe.
“Good morning,” he said, slurring the words in a soft, sweet manner before closing his eyes again. He leaned closer.
Then Marinette said the thing she never thought she’d say in a million years. But she had to. Every second he was awake, awake and smiling sweetly, awake and still holding her, was a dagger to her chest.
“Adrien. Please let me go.”
Perhaps it was the sound of her distress, but Adrien’s eyes finally flew open. He was awake.
It took him a second to survey the scene; his arms wrapped around her, her body pulling away from him, to work out what happened. Marinette could see the inner machinations behind his eyes. The horror, embarrassment and regret began to sink into Adrien’s expression.
That’s when Marinette knew. Someone who looked at her like that, for the simple mistake of sleep-cuddling, would never love her back.
Her heart shattered, the shards cutting and shredding her insides.
Adrien lurched back with an apology, launching himself so far that he accidentally landed on Nino, who woke up with a yelp. Before Marinette could process anything, there was pandemonium in the room. Alix swore loudly, ushering all the girls out of the entertainment room so they could sneak back into her bedroom and not get in trouble.
Blankets were tossed up in the air, cushions grabbed, leftover popcorn consumed (“gross Kim, that’s been stuffed in the sofa all night!” “What? Popcorn is popcorn.”) and before Marinette knew what was happening, she was in a semi-formed sneak line ready to exit the entertainment room with the rest of the girls.
“W-wait,” she began, but Juleka bumped into her, her zombie-like movements letting her know they’d started moving.
Marinette turned back towards the boys one last time. Nino and Max were picking up more leftover floor popcorn so Kim couldn’t eat it, Nath was organising the blankets and the pillows…
And Adrien was staring directly at her.
She couldn’t fathom the emotions on his face, didn’t get to properly read him. His mouth opened, probably to form another apology…
But she was out the door before he had the chance.