Chapter Text
It starts, as things in Dirk’s life so often do, with a cat.
He’d had the hunch that it was time to change his name cards. With Mona’s help he’d had a thousand done up, reading:
Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency
No case too small, no bee too buzzy!
(Missing cats and messy divorces a specialty)
Farah had drawn up a map of strategic places to tack up the cards, which Dirk had promptly binned in favor of wandering at random and handing out cards to buskers, petitioners, and anyone else unfortunate enough to pause in his path, with Todd close behind handing out apologies and shrugs as needed.
Within 48 hours it pays off handsomely.
“On a quantum level it makes perfect sense,” Dirk says into the cellphone that’s balanced on his shoulder as he doodles on a desk blotter. “My dear Mrs. Sauskind – may I call you Janice? – My dear Mrs. Sauskind, my theory is that your cat is not lost, but that his waveform has temporarily collapsed and must be restored. When Roderick curled up to nap in a trunk built by your grand-uncle Erwin, he proceeded to both exist and not exist at the same time. Furthermore I have plotted and triangulated the vectors of all factors and traced them to a villa in Nassau which it is therefore necessary for me to visit in the course of my investigation. To locate the extent manifestation of Roderick will require a budget that’s… oh. Oh I see. Er, yes. … Well, yes, that was our agency, rather a funny story actually – yes. Yes, of course. Thirty thousand, you say? Right away, madam. Let me hand you over to my secreOUCH, FARAH! – that is, my head of operations, who handles all our logistics.”
“Todd,” Dirk says, handing the phone to Farah and actually skipping across the room. “We’re going to the Bahamas.”