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Obi-Wan sat alone in his quarters.
His chest felt tight. His stomach felt empty. All he had to do to feel better was go to the refectory. He knew it. Talking to the 212th and his fellow Jedi would loosen the chest ache. Food would calm the pain in his abdomen.
But, he couldn't. He needed to stay alone in his quarters.
He could barely remember what had made him feel this way. It... It was something that Mace had said. Just a distant memory now, a few words with so little meaning.
They had been casually debating about something that morning - he couldn't even remember what. He had gotten too passionate about the topic, and Mace had said... Well, it didn't really matter.
Obi-Wan had made it to the end of the debate and then slipped up to his quarters. He remembered thinking that he just needed time to breathe, time to realize that the words weren't meant to hurt him. It would he fine after he meditated on it.
Just like Master Yoda had taught him. Like they had practised together. It would be okay.
But, once he had gotten to his room, once he had sat cross-legged and closed his eyes, it had become impossible to release his doubts into the Force. The Force had seemed to shove him away, insisting that the words were proof that he had no right to ask for Its help.
"You don't have to sound so venomous about it."
Mace's words refused to stop replaying in his head. He didn't think that he had been venomous. He certainly didn't mean to be. He was just excited about the topic they had been discussing.
But, Master Windu was older and wiser than Obi-Wan, and he had a particular knack for reading people. Master Windu would know.
So, Obi-Wan had sat in his meditation pose, letting the fear and confusion crumble into his mind.
That had been two days ago, and he hadn't been able to leave his rooms since.
Nobody had noticed his absence. And, with each passing hour, his meditation with Master Yoda felt less and less real. The Grand Master interrupting a High Council meeting just to reassure him that he was valued? It was a child's dream, a fantasy that he had made up to avoid the truth.
Qui-Gon had been right. He was always right. Anakin was the Chosen One, and Obi-Wan was too emotional to be a part of the Order in any closer capacity than the Agricorps.
The pain in his stomach felt like a slight, tingling cramp. It wasn't that bad. He had felt worse. It didn't matter that it was causing him to feel a nauseating tightness in his throat.
A clear, light thought emerged. He could just ask Master Windu. After all, Mace was so level-headed that his calmness was often mistaken for severity. He had probably meant the words as a kind, gentle reminder. He would be willing to help Obi-Wan understand what he had done wrong. Mace would make it clear why-
He doesn't want to help you. Nobody does.
Obi-Wan felt himself stop breathing. These new words felt like every other time that he had communicated with somebody through the Force. Only, this time, he couldn't feel where it had come from.
It did have a familiar voice, though. It was Qui-Gon, it had to b-
No. No, that didn't make sense. The voice was slightly off, as if something much more cruel and callous was trying to pass itself off as his old master.
Obi-Wan tried to restart his breathing, but he couldn't quite control it. Each breath felt off-kilter, ramming painfully against the insides of his chest. He kept pushing for air. He was fine. This would end if he could just push the fear down far enough.
Venomous people don't belong in the Jedi Order. They are a danger to it.
Oh Force, who had created that voice? And how had it gotten into his head? The fear re-emerged, drowning him in an overwhelming wave of panic.
He felt his mind unhinging, all meditation techniques forgotten, all doubts about Master Yoda's care for him confirmed.
But, it would be wrong to give up now. In this one way, he could try to be like a Jedi. Obi-Wan mustered his strength for a desperate ploy.
He slammed his shields down completely and put his terror on full display.
He didn't deserve any help, didn't deserve support, didn't deserve, didn't...
Still, surely at least one of the Jedi at the Temple would take pity and come to help him.