Work Text:
There was a guy sitting in Jihoon’s favorite work spot at the cafe.
No matter how much Jihoon glared at the back of his head, the stranger looked like he had been here for a while. It was Jihoon’s fault for leaving the studio late, but he had been stuck on an unending loop of uninspired melodies and did not notice the time as usual.
Just my luck, Jihoon grumbled to himself as he settled into the plush sofa and low table next to his preferred seat. Maybe the guy would leave soon. For now, the stranger had seated himself comfortably on Jihoon’s usual barstool, an elbow propped on the surface of the shiny wood table as he watched a video on his phone.
It was one of Jihoon’s many secrets, how he really liked the high tables and the tall bar stools that came with it, how he liked the feeling of being able to swing his feet under the table when he’s thinking of his next chord progression.
It was also next to a hidden outlet, the area secluded enough to hear conversations around him but still lend enough privacy to let him work in peace. When he gets sick of staring at the screen of his laptop, he can also people-watch outside. One of his best songs was written from a story he imagined from the couple who always walked their dog past the cafe window, arms or hands always linked as they let the ball of fluff run ahead of them.
Oh well.
Jihoon opened his laptop. Waited for his laptop to boot up after entering his password. Answered a couple of emails that Hansol sent him about lyric drafts. Sent an angry sticker to Seungcheol (his best friend by default out of longevity and thinly-veiled fondness) on Kakaotalk because he was waxing poetic about his boyfriend. Again.
“Cold brew, triple shot for Jihoon-hyung!” a deep voice called out. Jihoon sighed and clicked through his files, letting the program load his latest unfinished project before sauntering over to the counter.
“Mingyu, I told you, you don’t have to call me hyung when you’re calling me for my order,” Jihoon reminded him as he arrived at the counter.
Mingyu pouted. “But I’d feel weird Hyung, you’re older than me and I actually know you,” he argued.
Jihoon’s hands were busy with his straw and his paper cup sleeve, but he looked up and raised an eyebrow at the barista, who was also coincidentally his roommate. “I’m your customer here, it’s fine,” he said flatly. He paused and pulled a face, remembering what he walked into last night. “Even if I’ve seen you in less than savory positions with your hot writer boyfriend.”
Mingyu’s hand shook, spilling the cold water he was pouring into a paper cup for Jihoon on the counter. “Hyung, stop, we’re in public!” he whisper-yelled.
Jihoon smirked at the interesting shade of red that Mingyu’s face had taken. “That didn’t stop you two last week, you nasties,” he says. “The kitchen, Gyu. We cook our food there.”
“Your next coffee’s on me, please stop talking,” Mingyu all but begged.
Jihoon held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m just saying,” he replied.
“I don’t like you today,” Mingyu mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. “Why are you mean, did someone steal your spot or something?”
“Someone did, actually,” Jihoon said, leaning closer on the counter and lowering his voice. “Can you use your employee privileges and make him go away?”
Mingyu stared at Jihoon “...are you seriously asking me that question?”
Jihoon shrugged. “Eh, figured I’ll try my luck.”
Mingyu took out a damp cloth and began wiping the counter clean. “Well you know I can’t do that,” Mingyu said. “Did you try to ask for the seat?”
Jihoon shuddered. “Uh, that requires talking. To a stranger. So... no.”
“Then suffer. Or wait for him to go away,” Mingyu said, setting down the small cup of water next to Jihoon’s coffee.
Jihoon laughed. “Say hello to Wonwoo for me,” he said, reaching over the counter to pat Mingyu’s arm.
“He’s over there, actually.” Mingyu pointed at the other end of the coffee shop. “We have a date after my shift.”
Jihoon turned and gave a wave to the man in question, Wonwoo pushing up his glasses before waving back when he saw who it was.
Jihoon faced Mingyu’s direction, catching his younger roommate staring at his boyfriend with a soft smile on his face. He admired that in Mingyu, the way he could let his emotions easily arrange his features into expressions for the rest of the world to see.
Sometimes, Jihoon wondered if the world would be a better place for him if he was that honest with his feelings.
“Would you be out late?” Jihoon asked, snapping his fingers in front of Mingyu’s face when he failed to get a response.
Mingyu shrugged, ears now as red as the rest of his face. “We’re going to catch the last full show of the movie we wanted to watch after dinner… then I don’t know.”
Jihoon raised his eyebrows and whistled. “Sweet, does that mean I have the apartment to myself tonight?”
Mingyu picked up the pitcher of water and made vague threatening gestures at Jihoon’s direction. “Shut up, Hyung, ohmygod.”
Jihoon chuckled to himself and walked away from the pitcher Mingyu was waving around before the barista could cause another spill. Still smiling, he made his way back to his seat, warming up to the extra support the soft leather seats gave to his back.
The smile melted away as he looked back at his screen, the familiar multi-colored wavelengths sprawling across his screen.
Maybe if he stared at his screen long enough, the wavelengths would carve themselves a path to an acceptable song, like how old records have grooves that the needle follows to produce sound.
After connecting his wireless headphones to his laptop, he leaned back in his seat and listened to what he has so far. Idly, he turns his head with the intention to look out the window at the street outside.
The stranger was still in Jihoon’s usual seat.
Jihoon found himself staring, his brain idly cataloging his seat stealer’s features as the melody he had written washed over his system.
Black hair falling softly over his forehead, unkempt in the manner of someone who had recently showered and forgot about combing or styling in general.
Round cheeks, lit by the glow of the phone in his hands.
Eyes, razor-sharp in focus as they watched… whatever it is that they were watching onscreen.
An ink-stained hand raised in midair, fingers dancing gracefully as he tapped out a beat against nothing. That same hand, picking up a pen and scribbling into the open notebook he had in front of him.
Jihoon cannot stop staring.
He watched as the guy tilted his head to the left, raising his hand, and made a series of hand gestures with controlled flicks of his wrist. He did the same sequence three times before nodding to himself and writing (drawing?) something down on his notebook.
Jihoon forced himself to look away, recognizing the privacy of a creative process even in shared public spaces.
His screen greeted him with the return of his attention span. The audio draft was on its last few notes, the last he had managed to wring out of his tired brain before leaving the studio.
The KakaoTalk icon bounced at the bottom of his screen, the number of unread messages steadily increasing. He considered threatening to block Seungcheol, but he knew that his friend would take that as an excuse to be more annoying. Jihoon sighed loudly, picking up his drink as he read through Seungcheol’s messages.
Cheol
Jiiiiiiii
Jihoonieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Don’t ignore me, I’m having a crisisJihoon
You’re always having a crisis when Jeonghan-hyung’s involved
Bless your gay little heartCheol
I know you’re making fun of me but I also know you care for realJihoon
Congrats, you’ve unlocked the meaning of friendship
What’s upCheol
I’m thinking of asking Hannie to move in with me
… it’s been five minutes why are you not replying
Hello???
Did you seriously leave me on read
Hey!!!!
....Jihoon-ah :((((((Jihoon
WHAT???
Holy shitCheol
Ah there it is
Knew I could count on your reactionJihoon
Fuck you, I almost choked on an ice cube
??????????
How long have you been dating againCheol
11 months, 21 daysJihoon
Of course you know the exact days, you overgrown teddy bearCheol
Shut up, I remember your birthday???
I give you presents every year!
ANYWAY, not the point
I was thinking of asking him on our anniversary dinner
He’s been stressed because the lease on the place he’s at is almost up
and he hasn’t found a new place that isn’t ten times the priceJihoon
And your big romantic gesture on your first anniversary
as a couple is /cohabiting/?!Cheol
...I need your help, how do I tell him????????Jihoon
Cheol, I’ve never been in a relationship since we met,
and we met in daycare.
Maybe you’re bad luckCheol
I resent that!!!
Hannie calls me his good luck charm >:(Jihoon
Oh my god
Why are you asking me??? You’ve dated before,
you can charm your way through anythingCheol
Hannie is different!!!
And I don’t know, you write so many love songs,
I thought you’d have nice ideasJihoon
Choi Seungcheol, we agreed never to talk about the L songsCheol
Stop with the full name!!! >:(
And whyyyyy, why do you keep calling your songs like that
They’re good!!!!Jihoon
Choi Seungcheol.Cheol
Noooo I told you stop with the full name >:((((
… I’m panicking, sorry :cJihoon
Clearly.
Honestly I don’t know what to tell you, Cheol.
You know Jeonghan-hyung best.
You’re /dating/ him.
Work with that?
If he likes you enough to the point that you’re
actually celebrating anniversaries now, maybe he won’t be
so opposed to the idea of living with youCheol
…you won’t think he’d hate me for this?
Am I being too clingy?
Do you think we’re moving too fast?Jihoon
Hey, breathe.
Honestly? I can’t answer that.
You’re a good guy, Cheol
Your heart’s in the right place, you can talk it out.
The two of you just… work.
You’ll figure it out.Cheol
…… thanks, Ji.Jihoon
I didn’t do anything, but you’re welcome.
Good luck, Cheollie.
Deep breaths.
Romance the shit out of Jeonghan-hyung
so you can start making your house a home.
Seungcheol sent him half a dozen “romantic dinner date ideas” to ask for his opinion before he bid goodbye, and Jihoon is left with pictures of candlelit dinners on a sandy beach, with the backdrop of his unfinished song as the makeshift (sound)waves. He scrolled up the chat window, pausing at the part where Seungcheol talked about his… love songs.
Seungcheol was not even supposed to know in the first place. These were songs that he wrote without any intention of letting anyone else listen to them. It was his way of procrastinating projects for school and for other people—making something that was truly his own. Sometimes, it was a way to unload melodies from his brain, to be saved for future use. There were times when he just wanted to figure out if certain chords and a phrase that got stuck in his head would work itself out into a verse or two.
Most of the time, however, it was Jihoon asking himself a question, and the song that he ends up writing was his version of an answer. It was mostly harmless, like “what would I want to say to a person I like?” and “is there really such a thing as people you are fated to love?” to name a couple of common themes.
These were the songs where Jihoon lets himself be as vulnerable as he can, the songs where he brings down his guard to let the music do the talking. These were the songs that he kept, that Seungcheol somehow found (hidden away in a twenty-layer folder in his hard drive like a secret porn stash, how the fuck did Seungcheol even find—never mind, Jihoon did not want to know).
He had a planner to keep track of his schedule (bless Google Calendars, but also thank you, coffee shop loyalty points planners), but these songs were more like his diary. No one else would get to hear them if he could help it. Jihoon was too embarrassed to talk to Seungcheol after he had yelled at him for a good fifteen minutes when Seungcheol asked him about it, eventually making up over a couple of ice cream Coke floats. Seungcheol also let Jihoon talk to him about it when he was in the mood for it. Jihoon is thankful for having a childhood friend like Seungcheol, for having someone who knew him since he plonked out awkward notes on their elementary school’s out-of-tune piano. Seungcheol also came with him when he bought his first guitar, asked questions about models and brass strings versus nylon strings, and bought him a capo and a battery-powered tuner for Christmas. Even with Seungcheol’s constant praise and his insistence to let others hear his work, he had respected his friend’s shyness about sharing his work.
That does not mean he does not bring it up once in a while.
Like tonight.
Jihoon has tried. Once in a while, he would pull out a song file from his folders and send a sample to Seungcheol. When he was feeling particularly brave, he would knock on the door of Mingyu’s room and stutter through asking his roommate if he would like to try and listen to a song he was making.
Mingyu was always a little cautious when Jihoon asked him to give his songs a listen. Mingyu may be all smiles, but he does have a pretty… emotional playlist. He has loved everything that Jihoon has allowed him to listen to, but he had also often looked at Jihoon with glassy eyes long after the last note stopped playing. “Hyung, are you okay?” was a common question that Jihoon had heard, from his roommate and from other people he had tried asking.
Once, to his horror, he had made someone cry at the recording booth. Seokmin, a Vocal major, was brought in to help record the lyrics for the song Jihoon had written for a composition final. Jihoon had fidgeted when he saw how the other had brought a hand to cover his mouth as he listened to the guide that he made, not responding when he tried to ask if he was ready to start. When he did speak, it was to ask Jihoon why is this song so sad hyung, who hurt you? before bursting into tears.
It was safe to say that no recording was done that day.
He pulled out a battered memo pad with his notes about the assignment, staring at the crossed-out lyrics that spanned several pages (sorry, trees). He sighed, flipping through the pages to search for any lines or ideas he could salvage.
The professor had told them that all songs could be love songs if you write them right. Love was relatable, love was sellable. Hell, power chords exist because using them almost always guarantees a chart-topping hit. So writing about love should be easy, right?
Wrong.
Jihoon glared at the word at the middle of one battered notebook page, underlined thrice, encircled with red pen multiple times, and surrounded by a bunch of question marks written with various degrees of vehemence.
How the fuck was he supposed to write a dance song about love ?
He reached forward to press Play and slumped back on his seat, massaging his right temple with the knuckles of his closed hand. Technically, he was done with his project. He had gone down a rabbit hole of dance-heavy music videos from both male and female idol groups and finished the required song within the other parameters that the professor gave. The song was deceptively light, starting with an acoustic guitar and a surprise rap verse instead of the usual interlude. It was a good karaoke song, and Jihoon was pretty proud of it. Normally, he would stop and call it a day at this point.
But somehow, it felt like a cop-out. He started working on another song, something with a darker sound. He laughed at the melody when he first laid the chords down on the program in his computer, the stark contrast evident between his summery pop idol song and the winter child he was now developing. He was fond of this song, even if he has given up on it for exactly twenty-two times since he started planning it out.
Twenty-third time’s the charm, it seems.
Jihoon continued watching the tiny bar’s progress in time with the sound waves, zoning out until he noticed three things:
- The music on his headphones has turned off, battery charge all used up, leaving him with what he assumed to be the eerie feeling of hearing silence in a vacuum.
- A notification popped up on his screen, saying it was now connected to Horanghae’s AirPods, whoever the hell that was.
- There was a loud crash that rang throughout the otherwise quiet cafe.
“Shit,” Jihoon said, a hand on his chest as The Guy Who Stole His Seat… fell off his chair. He stood up from where he was sitting and hurried over to where the guy was lying on the floor, staring up at the ceiling and unmoving.
“Uh… are you okay?” Jihoon asked.
“Yeah I was just,” The Guy paused, holding a hand up before pressing his wireless earphones more securely into his ears. “My earphones connected automatically to … somewhere, and this song is really good.”
“...Oh,” Jihoon said. “Sorry, are you… uh, Horanghae? I think that’s my laptop.”
“Why is your laptop’s music playing through my earphones?” The Guy asked. He was still lying on the floor.
“Uh… my headphones ran out of juice so it disconnected… Maybe you had yours set to connect automatically...?”
“Oh,” The Guy said, taking the hand Jihoon had offered to pull himself up. He winced, rubbing at the small of his back. “I… think that’s it? My roommate said I should have that fixed, but I’m scared to break them if I do it myself. I can’t afford to buy new ones right now. Why are Apple products so expensive?”
Jihoon stared with wide eyes, mouth slowly falling open as The Guy continued talking without his prompting. He cleared his throat, catching The Guy’s attention.
“Oh,” The Guy said, reaching up to scratch at his nose and coughing into his fist. “Sorry. I keep talking when I’m nervous. I don’t think I got your name?”
“Oh. I uh, didn’t get to tell you yet. Jihoon,” he said.
“Soonyoung,” he replied, reaching out to grab Jihoon’s hand in a short, firm handshake. “Sorry, uh, I was just really surprised by the music playing.”
“You should fix that,” Jihoon said, helping him stand up. He watched as the guy dusted himself off, blinking when they stretched to their full height.
Of course, he’s taller. This is Jihoon’s fate.
“You okay there?” Jihoon asked.
The other nodded. “No broken bones. Just my broken pride, I guess.”
Jihoon looked around the empty cafe. “No one else here, you’re good,” he confirmed.
The other guy pouted. “But you saw—never mind,” he says. He removed his AirPods before turning back to Jihoon. “Oh yeah, what’s the title of the song you were playing?”
“Uh… I haven’t thought about that part yet.”
The Guy looked up, the case for his AirPods making a soft snap. “Huh?”
Jihoon scratches the back of his neck. “I’m not done with the melody yet? I’m seeing where it goes before I write the lyrics. Or the title.”
“Wha—you made that?”
Jihoon does not know what to make of the guy’s astonishment—should he be offended or did the guy sound impressed? “Well… make, present tense, it’s not even done—”
“Can I have it?” The Guy—Soonyoung?—all but yelled at him.
Jihoon stared, physically taking a step back. “What the hell?”
Soonyoung covered his mouth, blinking rapidly. “Sorry! Definitely did not mean to scream. My roommate did say I do not have an indoor voice, which is unfair—”
Jihoon held up one hand and Soonyoung immediately stopped talking. “What do you mean ‘have it?'” he asked slowly. “Why would I give you my song? And why do you want it, it’s not even done yet.”
“I’m a dance major at Pledis U. I’m gonna perform at the annual showcase for my finals but I don’t have a song yet,” Soonyoung explained, speeding through the words like he had this whole speech prepared. “I’m a third year and the professors always say that scouts from big agencies always come to watch, so I wanna make my performance count. Your song sounds amazing, can I use it please please please, it’s perfect!”
“Look, I don’t even know you,” Jihoon said.
“You know my name! Soonyoung! Kwon Soonyoung. Dance major at Pledis University. Birthday June 15, which apparently makes me a Gemini—”
“Wait, stop, rewind a little, why do you have so many words?” Jihoon interrupted. He could feel a dull throbbing start at the back of his head. “It’s not even finished, and it’s not that good yet.”
“Hey, stop saying that about my favorite song,” Soonyoung replied. Jihoon blinked; Soonyoung definitely looked offended now, judging from the tiny frown on his lips. Is he pouting?
“You heard, what, fifteen seconds of an unfinished song?” Jihoon said. “This is not good for my ego.”
“It’s not good for your ego either if you always bring yourself down though,” Soonyoung points out. “It’s okay to accept compliments when you know it’s good. You should know it’s good, it’s your song anyway.”
Jihoon opened his mouth, but no words came out. He’s heard the same argument from Seungcheol in a dialogue that had mellowed through the years, but the matter-of-fact tone paired with the serious eyes and the words coming from the mouth of this that stole his favorite seat in his favorite cafe struck a different nerve.
“Okay. It is a good song. Or a good half of a song, at least,” Jihoon relented. He glared when Soonyoung opened his mouth, looking like he was ready to deck it out with Jihoon. “Still doesn’t change the fact that it’s not done yet, so I can’t really say anything about it. For now.”
Soonyoung nodded, and Jihoon breathed out in momentary relief. They locked eyes, and Jihoon snorted.
“What?” Soonyoung asked, but even he was chuckling.
Jihoon shook his head, waving his hand in dismissal. “Nothing. Felt like I needed to hear that, I guess.”
Soonyoung crossed his arms. “Well I have been on record for saying smart things on occasion,” he said, tilting his head and giving Jihoon half a smile.
“It is good advice,” Jihoon agreed, laughing as Soonyoung preened at the compliment. “I guess it’s hard… you know, because you’re there from the beginning, so you’ve seen all the shit. Sometimes it’s hard to see when the good shit starts falling into place, you know?”
Soonyoung nodded, and Jihoon found comfort in the wordless gesture, so he kept on talking. “Like… when the song starts forming and starts becoming its own… thing… sometimes you just want to stop because it’s so easy to mess it up and overwork it, you know? Like you do choreography, isn’t it hard to come up with different routines every time?”
Soonyoung shrugged. “It depends, really. My teammates hate how I do things over and rehearse everything like twelve dozen times, but I do know when I like what I’m seeing on the practice room mirror.”
Jihoon let out a low whistle. “Man, I could not even begin to imagine how hard that sounds,” he said.
“Could say the same for you,” Soonyoung shot back. He grinned. “Best feeling when everything starts making sense though. Like when I heard your song and my feet just started moving, that’s why I fell off my seat in the first place.”
“ Okay , calm down tiger,” Jihoon said. Soonyoung grinned, clapping his hands together. “I said calm down! I’ll… think about it okay? The melody’s almost done, so if I finish that… I don’t know, tonight? Maybe? I’ll think about it.”
Soonyoung was already nodding his head even before Jihoon finished speaking. “Thank you! I’m gonna make the best dance out of this!”
“You’re so positive about this,” Jihoon said.
Soonyoung grinned. “I’m manifesting,” he replied.
Jihoon chuckled. “Maybe I need the extra pressure of a stranger’s expectations to finally finish this song,” he said.
Soonyoung tilted his head to the side. “It pretty much sounded okay to me, but what do I know? Deadline too close for comfort?”
Jihoon nodded. “Yeah, I need to pass the first draft in a couple of days,” he said.
“Let me know if I could help!” Soonyoung volunteered. “I owe you one in advance.”
“I haven’t agreed yet,” Jihoon reminded.
“I could be very persuasive,” Soonyoung said.
Jihoon found himself smiling. “Yeah you are,” he agreed.
Soonyoung’s mouth fell open. “Well that was easy,” he said, raising his hands in defense when Jihoon raised a fist in a mock threat. “Okay, kidding! But really though, if there’s anything I could help with—”
“Actually, can I have my seat back?” Jihoon blurted out, making Soonyoung pause.
“This is… your seat?” Soonyoung asked, looking at the barstool he fell out of before turning back to Jihoon. “Is this like in Central Park? Can you buy seats here too? That’s so cool.”
Jihoon shifted from one foot to the other, looking down at his scuffed-up Vans. “Well, not mine mine,” he mumbled after a while. “But it’s my favorite seat. I… I work better here.”
He expected a laugh, or even being called silly or quirky, but he got neither. Instead, Jihoon got a nod, and the next moments saw Soonyoung gathering his things and scooting his tray two seats down. He bowed in Jihoon’s direction with a flourish, arm extended to gesture at Jihoon’s favorite seat in the cafe.
“That’s it?” Jihoon asked. “No asserting dominance or some male territorial shit?”
Soonyoung laughed, his whole face scrunching up in mirth. “What are we, Teen Wolf? It’s fine, I just sat wherever anyway. I just wanted a window seat.” He hopped up the barstool two seats to the left of Jihoon’s favorite spot and reached out to pat the cushion of the seat he just left. “You just had to ask me, you know, now I feel bad for stealing your spot.”
“You didn’t steal it, don’t be stupid,” Jihoon shot back, picking up his own tray and carrying it over to the spot next to Soonyoung on the table.
“Oh, we’re using nicknames now, nice,” Soonyoung said. “Can I call you Hoonie?”
“No,” Jihoon replied. “I’m not—you’re not stupid, sorry.”
Soonyoung pulled out his phone, grinning. “Can you say that again? I wanna record that for my roommate.”
Jihoon laughed out loud. He can’t help it; Soonyoung has somehow found a way to shake laughter out of Jihoon’s lungs in the span of one frankly confusing conversation.
“Jihoon-hyung?” a voice asked behind him. Jihoon and Soonyoung both turned to find Mingyu blinking at them, a tray filled with empty mugs and dirty paper napkins balanced in his hands.
“Oh, Mingyu!” Soonyoung said, raising a hand to wave in greeting then pouting. “Were you hiding from me? Jisoo-hyung took my order.”
Jihoon spun around to stare at Soonyoung. “How’d you know my roommate?”
“You’re roommates?” Soonyoung asked, the corners of his mouth lifting into a grin that promised mischief and more.
Mingyu closed his eyes, tilting his face to the ceiling as if asking for strength from higher beings. “Oh no,” he groaned, grip tightening on the tray in his hands.
Soonyoung clapped once, very loudly, one hand coming up to cover his mouth. “I’m Wonwoo’s roommate!” he said, the glee evident in his voice. “Also Wonwoo’s best friend since we were like, twelve, and the witness to his multiple makeout sessions with your own roommate.”
“Hyung!” Mingyu protested, stomping his foot while trying his best not to drop anything from the tray he was carrying.
“Oh don’t be shy, I’ve seen you shove your tongue down his throat already,” Soonyoung said airily.
“Stop teasing him,” a deep voice scolded. Mingyu’s back straightened from his slouch as he stood to his full height, swiveling to greet Wonwoo with shiny eyes.
“Wonwoooooooo,” Mingyu said, pouting to his boyfriend and carefully gesturing to Soonyoung’s direction with the tray in his hands. “They fight me.”
“Wonwooooo, why weren’t you answering my texts?” Soonyoung complained, pitching his voice lower to imitate Mingyu’s whiny tone. “I messaged you like an hour ago.”
“My phone was on mute,” Wonwoo said, swatting Soonyoung’s arm and ignoring his friend’s pained squawk. “You said you had practice?”
“The practice room was so stuffy, couldn’t think in there,” Soonyoung said, then narrowed his eyes on the couple. “Were you planning to dick down in my room again, you horny animals?”
Jihoon burst out laughing as Mingyu blushed to the tips of his ears, walking away with his full tray.
“That was one time—” Wonwoo began arguing.
“One time too many,” Soonyoung interrupted, shuddering. “My poor tiger plushies.”
“You are impossible,” Wonwoo said, hooking his arm around Soonyoung’s shoulders and squeezing him a little too tight, making Soonyoung cough and tap on Wonwoo’s arm.
“That’s what they say,” Soonyoung said, wiggling his eyebrows at his roommate as he leaned in closer towards Wonwoo.
Wonwoo shoved his face away. “Sorry about this one in advance,” he said, turning to Jihoon.
“Hey! I’m an awesome person,” Soonyoung argued, voice muffled under the hand that Wonwoo still had covered his face.
“At least let someone else say that for you,” Wonwoo replied, removing his hand and wiping his palm down the front of Soonyoung’s shirt.
“I’m my best hype man,” Soonyoung said, making kissy faces at Wonwoo.
“Is he always like this?” Jihoon asked.
“Unfortunately,” Wonwoo replied. “I think I just got used to it. Exposure therapy.”
Jihoon nodded. “Ah.”
“Stop backstabbing me? I’m right here, hello?!” Soonyoung said, making to strangle Wonwoo but with hands going to pull at Wonwoo’s sleeve, frowning.
“Shhh, standard debriefing, you good,” Wonwoo reassured, reaching out to massage the nape of Soonyoung’s neck. Jihoon watched as Soonyoung’s pout melted away, Wonwoo’s fond smile in response warming his heart.
“This is unfair. You know all my weak points,” Soonyoung mumbled. “Not that there’s a lot of them.”
“Yes, you are an unstoppable force of nature,” Wonwoo agreed, tickling under Soonyoung’s chin and making him laugh.
Soonyoung pushed Wonwoo gently by the shoulders. “Go date your boyfriend,” he said. “Do everything I wouldn’t do.”
Wonwoo laughed, squeezing Soonyoung’s shoulder in farewell.
“Should I wait up for him?” Jihoon asked Wonwoo. “He probably left his keys at home.”
Wonwoo paused. “Oh. Um,” he said, scratching at the back of his neck and looking very interested at the fake wood swirls used on the floor tiles of the cafe. “We were kinda… planning to sleep over at mine tonight.”
Jihoon grinned. “Noted. Stay safe,” he said, and Wonwoo gave them a tiny nod before spinning on his heels to go back to his seat, the tips of his ears bright pink.
Soonyoung groaned. “Nooooooo, I need to sleep,” he complained.
“Earplugs,” Jihoon advised, with the tone of a seasoned veteran who has heard it all. “Or really really good noise-canceling earphones. Your AirPods could work.”
Soonyoung looked at him in despair. “But sometimes they use Won’s bluetooth speaker and put music on to set the mood. I’d be vibing to SHINee and the next thing I know I’ll be tuning in to their baby-making slow jams,” he complained, then paused. “They have great music taste though.”
Jihoon nodded. “Yeah they do,” he said. “They try to be quiet at least.”
Soonyoung sighed. “How do you survive? They hang out at your apartment more than at ours.”
“I stayed late nights at the studio a lot when Wonwoo sleeps over, especially when they first started dating,” Jihoon said. “Got a lot of songs done, which was fun. Usually when I get home I’m so tired I could sleep through… well, pretty much anything.”
“You are a saint,” Soonyoung said in awe.
Jihoon shook his head. “Try insomniac,” he amended. “It’s fine. They’re in love. It’s nice to see them happy.” Jihoon laughed as he remembered one more thing. “And Mingyu always makes breakfast for me too, to say sorry. It’s cute. He thinks I don’t notice that he ‘accidentally’ cooked too much food. He needs to come up with a better excuse, it only worked the first two times.”
Soonyoung gasped. “The waffles? And the pancakes?” he asked. “...oh my god, have I been accepting sex bribes all this time?!”
“Yeah, those were morning-after breakfasts…” Jihoon said, grimacing and patting Soonyoung’s arm in sympathy. “This is the life we are living. I guess you just have to live with the backstory of Mingyu’s breakfast skills.”
Soonyoung covered his ears. “Noooo, shut up, I always ask for seconds!!!” he lamented. “How am I gonna digest that tomorrow?”
Jihoon made a noise of sympathy, still patting Soonyoung’s arm. “Send me a picture? Mingyu’s practicing how to make souffle pancakes.”
Soonyoung narrowed his eyes at Jihoon. “I need your number for that,” he said.
Jihoon’s hand on Soonyoung’s arm paused. “...Right,” he said.
Soonyoung pulled his phone out of his pocket, tapping on the screen and handing it over to Jihoon. Slowly, Jihoon entered his number and his KakaoTalk ID before giving the phone back to a grinning Soonyoung.
Soonyoung gave Jihoon’s phone a call. “That’s me,” Soonyoung said when he saw Jihoon’s phone light up. “I’ll send you their bed creaking audio clips later if they’re loud enough, maybe you could use it on your song.”
“I’ll block you. Without any hesitation,” Jihoon threatened.
Soonyoung stuck out his tongue at him in response, nodding at Jihoon’s phone when it began to light up with several KakaoTalk notifications. “You should probably get that,” he said.
Jihoon sighed, opening his phone.
Cheol
JI
JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
Asked Hannie out to dinner for our anniversary
I’m so nervous aaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAJihoon
Good luck buddy
Lemme know if you need helpSeungcheol
Thank you ;___;
Listening to me yell is more than enough ♡Jihoon
♡
If you post a screenshot of this conversation anywhere
I’ll tell Jeonghan-hyung all your secrets ♡Cheol
I’ll keep it to myself, meanie >:(
Jihoon laughed under his breath, sending another heart sticker to his best friend before closing the app and locking his phone. He stared at the music editing program on his screen, following the path of the soundwaves with his eyes before opening his notes app. In a burst of inspiration, he opened the pictures Seungcheol sent him, typing down a verse that has been on his mind for a while and letting the flow of words take him to where it wants his brain to go.
Half an hour later he had a rough draft of the second half he needed and even added an interlude and a bridge before getting down a couple more notes for possible ending drafts. Sighing in satisfaction, he saved everything and sent a copy to himself through email to be sure. He looked over to his left, almost forgetting that he was not originally in this seat earlier this evening.
Soonyoung had hunched over his notebook, scribbling circles and arrows and bad figure drawings onto a fresh page. Sometimes he would stare out the window, counting under his breath, before poring over his notebook again. He caught Jihoon watching and he gave him a cheeky grin.
“You looked like you got something good going,” Soonyoung said, tilting his head towards Jihoon’s laptop. “Didn’t want to disturb.”
Jihoon closed his eyes, stretching his arms over his head and smiling to himself. “Thank you,” he said, voice soft. “I think I got it.”
Soonyoung’s smile greeted Jihoon when he opened his eyes. “I’m glad,” Soonyoung said. He raised his notebook, showing Jihoon his messy notes. “Got to work on something too, so that makes the both of us.”
A corner of Jihoon’s lips lift, throwing a thumbs-up in Soonyoung’s direction.
Soonyoung
Hello handsome ♡Jihoon
Are you always this creepy when messaging someone
for the first time?Soonyoung
Only to people I like ♡Jihoon
I’m blocking youSoonyoung
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
If you keep frowning at your laptop screen like that
people would think you’re trolling someone on the internetJihoon
...okay you’re scaring me more than usualSoonyoung
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Look up!
Jihoon pressed Save on his work and raised his head. From the other side of the glass, Soonyoung stood in all of his shiny pink-cheeked glory, black beanie stuffed haphazardly over his hair and the sleeves of his hoodie pulled up to his elbows, his forearms on full display. Rolling his eyes, he raised his hand to give a high five to the hand that Soonyoung had pressed up to his side of the glass. Soonyoung grinned, pressing his face to the glass and puckering his lips to make a kissy face. He laughed at Jihoon’s disgusted expression before fixing his beanie and heading inside the cafe.
“Why are you so gross?” Jihoon asked, pointing at the smudged window with a vague print of Soonyoung’s face. The weather outside has improved from the drizzly and windy morning that Jihoon had to endure in his walk to the coffee shop. Sunlight was finally filtering through the branches of the trees planted along the sidewalk, dried raindrop tracks now more obvious on the windows.
“It’s fine, Mingyu likes showing off his height during window cleaning duty,” Soonyoung said, grunting as he hoisted himself up in his seat. “And I showered after practice, how dare you.”
“Wow, I am so honored to be blessed by your hygiene,” Jihoon deadpanned.
Soonyoung stuck out his tongue at him, looking at the miniature cup that was sitting next to Jihoon’s iced Americano. “What’s that?”
“Huh?” Jihoon said, looking away from his screen and staring at the tiny cup as if trying to recall why it was there in the first place. “Oh. Seokmin said they wanna test out a new drink, they were giving out free samples.”
“Can I have it?” Soonyoung said, eyes still focused on the drooping mountain of whipped cream on the top of the drink. Jihoon waved his hand and Soonyoung grabbed the tiny cup, sipping daintily at the ice-blended drink with the tiny straw.
“That was so good,” he said, smacking his lips together. “God I’m so thirsty. I’m ordering one of these, do you want anything?”
Jihoon shook his head. “I’m good,” he said, lifting his drink up and giving it a little shake.
Soonyoung squinted. “Your ice is all melted,” he pointed out. “That’s gonna taste so gross.”
Jihoon shrugged. “It’s fine, I’ll stick it in the freezer when I go back to the studio.”
Soonyoung nodded, sliding off his seat. “Food?”
“It’s fine, I ate breakfast,” Jihoon answered, eyes focused on his screen.
“...It’s 4PM, Jihoon.”
Jihoon looked up and met Soonyoung’s gaze. “...it was a late breakfast?” he tried.
Soonyoung breathed slowly out of his nose, closing his eyes. “I’m getting you something to eat, whether you like it or not,” he declared, walking off to the counter before Jihoon could even think of opening his mouth to protest.
Hansollie
Uh, Hyung?
I’m almost done with the song, can u look it over for me?
It all sounds the same to me at this pointJihoon
SureHansollie
Sweet
Thanks hyung, I really owe you one
Or like seven now reallyJihoon
When do you need it back?Hansollie
Uhhhh, as soon as you can get to it if it’s okay?
Wanna make sure I have time to edit too
Only if you’re not busy or anything ofcJihoon
Oh okay
You still at the studio?Hansollie
YuppppppJihoon
Be there in… an hour?
I’m at the cafe Seokmin works at, do you want anything?Hansollie
I ordered chicken and fries, I’m good!
Did you eat lunch, you’ve been there since this morningJihoon
Why is everyone asking about my meals todayHansollie
Huh?Jihoon
NothingHansol
So that’s a no then
I’ll save some for youJihoon
Thanks HansolHansollie
no biggie
I should be thanking you, not the other way aroundJihoon
ㅋㅋㅋ let’s call it even then
“Got you a muffin,” Soonyoung announced as soon as he arrived at the table, pushing a brown paper bag towards Jihoon’s direction. “Eat! You’ll feel better!”
“You didn’t have to,” Jihoon mumbled, picking up the still warm bag. “How much was it, lemme pay you.”
Soonyoung grinned, shaking his head. “Nah, it’s fine, my treat! You look like you need a sugar boost,” he said, staring at Jihoon’s face until the latter started fidgeting. “Or five.”
Jihoon winced. “That bad?”
“I wasn’t just trying to be funny earlier you know, you really looked like you were ready to pick a fight with whatever’s on your laptop screen,” Soonyoung said, watching as Jihoon took a bite from the muffin and taking three big gulps of his watered-down coffee. The muffin was fresh from the oven, the inside warm and gooey from the melted chocolate chips. “And skipping meals is bad for your health.”
“Thanks by the way,” Jihoon said, taking another big bite. He didn’t realize how hungry he was until now. Soonyoung grinned and gave him a thumbs-up, drinking from his own whipped cream and chocolate syrup-topped drink.
“Working on a new song?” Soonyoung guessed as Jihoon turned back to his laptop, crumbs narrowly missing the keys.
Jihoon pressed the down arrow on his keyboard a few times, eyes glazing over at the wall of text that he had managed to type out so far. “Paper,” he replied, barely repressing a frustrated groan as Grammarly helpfully pointed out another poorly written sentence. “Gotta explain how I came up with the song I submitted. Why do we have to do this?”
Soonyoung perked up. “Oh! Is this for the song you were making? The one I heard? Maybe I could help!” he said, bouncing in his seat.
Jihoon ran a hand roughly through his hair, rubbing at his face and pressing the heels of his hands over his closed eyes before sparing a glance at Soonyoung’s face. “How?” he asked, tone resigned.
Soonyoung tilted his head, taking his time before starting to speak. “Okay, like I know you made the song your own way and you probably have like a whole process down, but maybe you just need someone to bounce ideas off of?” he said. He held his hand to his own chest. “All you need is in here anyway, maybe you just… need someone else to hear it? Talk it out, maybe? To make sense? It could get messy if it just stays in your head. Maybe you could try to find your why again.”
Jihoon stared at Soonyoung, nibbling at his lower lip as he mulled over the other’s words. It was true that while he had the basics of the song’s inspiration down, he did not quite know if he could expand his thought process eloquently enough to reach his professor’s required word count. He also wanted to leave enough room for interpretation and giving one meaning to the whole song felt too much like a death sentence for alternative endings.
Soonyoung squirmed after a few moments at Jihoon’s prolonged silence. “...did I say something wrong?” he said, voice soft.
Jihoon shook his head. “No. Yeah, you’re probably right,” he said.
“Which is it...?” Soonyoung said, tilting his head in confusion.
Jihoon laughed. “Yeah, I could use some help,” he agreed. “I can’t read my own handwriting and my drafts are shit.”
Soonyoung raised an eyebrow, clicking his tongue in disapproval. “Hey, what did we say about Fear and Self-loathing in South Korea?” he asked.
“That’s not the— okay, okay, stop being super harsh on myself and on my unfinished projects,” Jihoon said. “Got it.”
Soonyoung nodded. “Good,” he said, making Jihoon feel oddly pleased with himself. He extended a hand to Jihoon. “Let’s hear it.”
Jihoon nodded, clicking through his folders before frowning. “Oh wait, shoot, the final draft’s not here,” he said. “It’s on the computer back in the studio, I forgot I tweaked it before submitting it yesterday.”
Soonyoung’s face fell. “Oh,” he said.
“Actually I need to go back to the studio in a bit,” Jihoon asked, typing down a new note for himself with the points Soonyoung said to help him jog his memory later. He winced at his sad excuse of an essay outline. “Do you wanna come over? I can order in. Or ramen? Do you wanna eat ramen at my place?”
Beside him, Soonyoung coughed, making him look up in alarm when he saw how red the other’s face was. “At least buy me a drink first,” Soonyoung said, clearing his throat.
“What?” Jihoon said, pausing as what Soonyoung said clicked. “ No , wait, I didn't mean it that—”
Soonyoung burst out laughing. “I was joking!” he said in between guffaws. “You are so red, oh my god— ouch , okay I probably deserved that.”
Jihoon pulled his arm back for another punch to Soonyoung’s arm, getting a slight rush of satisfaction at the way the latter flinched just a tiny bit before reverting to his usual cheeky self. “Do you want the song or not?” he asked through gritted teeth.
Soonyoung nodded. “Yes, please, ignore whatever I said,” he said in a rush. “I want to help, really, promise!”
Jihoon crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Soonyoung until the other began to squirm in his seat.
“What?” Soonyoung mumbled.
Jihoon shook his head, double-checking that he saved everything before closing his laptop and packing up his things.
“Let’s go?” he said.
Soonyoung nodded, hopping off his seat and steadying himself with a hand on Jihoon’s shoulder.
Hansol looked up from the couch as Jihoon entered the studio. “Oh Hyung, you’re here!” he said, checking the time on his phone. “You’re early?”
“This composition paper is driving me crazy,” Jihoon said, toeing his shoes off at the entrance. “I needed a break.”
Hansol winced. “Oh man, Professor Park?” he asked. “Heard he’s nice outside class but his evaluations are pretty brutal.”
Jihoon groaned. “Yeah, he’s really hard to please,” he agreed. “He’s an amazing professor though, I’m learning a lot.”
Hansol nodded, standing up to stretch. He began to walk towards the entrance but stopped in his tracks, tilting his head to peer behind Jihoon.
Jihoon looked back at the open door of the studio at the person lurking just right outside the doorway. “What are you doing there, come on in,” he said.
Soonyoung entered the studio slowly after Jihoon, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He bowed when he noticed Hansol, back straight as he tried his best to huddle behind Jihoon.
“It’s fine, Hansol won’t bite,” Jihoon said, walking towards the couch to let his backpack slide gently off his shoulder. “Soonyoung, meet Hansol. Hansol, meet Soonyoung.”
Soonyoung cleared his throat. “Hi, I’m Kwon Soonyoung!” he said. “I’m Jihoon’s… friend?”
Hansol raised an eyebrow. “...hello, I’m Chwe Hansol. I’m hyung’s hoobae,” he said, extending a hand for Soonyoung to shake. “And I know who you are, I’ve watched you perform before.”
Soonyoung blinked. “Oh. Uh, I hope I didn’t mess up steps or whatever?” he said.
Hansol laughed. “No man, yeah, you were like a totally different person on stage, you’re so cool,” he said. “Not that you’re not cool now, but your stage presence is lit as hell.”
“That’s… a good thing right?” Soonyoung asked.
Hansol nodded, gummy smile out in full force. “Yeah, yeah, you’re good,” he reassured. “I’m friends with Chan, he always told me you’re a great teammate. A great teacher too, by the sounds of it.”
Jihoon watched as Soonyoung’s smile widened before catching himself and looking down. “Thank you,” he said. “That’s always nice to hear.”
“Hansol’s not the type to give out empty compliments,” Jihoon remarked, making Soonyoung raise his head. “So if he says you’re good, you probably really are.”
Hansol nodded solemnly. “He’s a step away from being viral video-famous,” he said. “You should make a Tiktok account, Soonyoung-hyung.”
Jihoon tilted his head, looking at Soonyoung shaking his head at Hansol’s statement. “I’ll take your word for it, I guess,” he said.
Soonyoung laughed. “You can watch us perform sometime, but I think I have to drag you out of here for that,” he said.
Hansol let out a short bark of laughter. “You get him,” he said, a nod of appreciation angled at Soonyoung’s direction. “How long have you two known each other? Your building’s at the other side of the campus, I don’t see you and hyung bumping into each other.”
Soonyoung looked up at the ceiling, brow furrowed as he tried to remember. “A couple of weeks ago…?” he said hesitatingly. Jihoon nodded in confirmation. “We met at a cafe outside the campus.”
Hansol blinked. “Oh… I see.”
“Let’s get to work?” Jihoon suggested. Hansol’s head jerked up as if he suddenly remembered why they were all in the studio in the first place. Soonyoung made his way to the couch, taking off his jacket to reveal a black shirt fitted close to his body. He placed his bag by his seat and folded his jacket over his lap, his hands smoothing out the wrinkles in the fabric as he looked around with curious eyes. If he noticed that Jihoon had been observing him, he does not comment, blinking owlishly at the floating shelves crammed with tiny trophies fastened to the wall across from him. Jihoon cleared his throat, approaching the computer that Hansol was trying to navigate his way through.
Jihoon looked on as Hansol clicked through his messy folders, looking for the draft he wanted to get checked and doing a little fist pump when he successfully found it. He pulled up his chair next to Hansol, picking up the headphones as they waited for the program to load.
Hansol stood up, fumbling with the takeout boxes on the coffee table before pushing a container half-filled with chicken into Jihoon’s hands. “Eat something first,” he urged the latter. “Or listen while eating.”
Jihoon laughed, reaching gratefully into the box to pull out a well-seasoned drumstick. “Is this a bribe?”
Hansol grinned. “Would that help?” he asked hopefully.
Jihoon laughed around his drumstick. “Relax. I’ll be gentle,” he said, pressing Play before leaning back into his chair, the box of takeout chicken on his lap.
For the next half hour, Jihoon worked on the song that Hansol made. The build-up of the beats sustained the whole song, with Hansol’s deep vocals standing earnest against the hard-hitting bass line. Jihoon had a couple of comments, but mostly left the song untouched. They re-recorded Hansol’s last rap verse to a slower tempo to contrast the crescendo of the instruments. Hansol slipped off the headphones to rest around his neck as he looked on, sighing in relief as Jihoon gave him a little nod.
“This is good as it is now,” Jihoon said, slipping off his own headphones. “I liked the way you did that last line too. Just remember to pace yourself next time, you tend to run out of breath by the end of the more intense verses.”
“Finallyyyyyyy,” Hansol said, raising his fists and promptly banging his hand against the pop filter on the microphone hanging above Jihoon’s head. Soonyoung clapped softly from his spot on the couch, making Jihoon and Hansol turn towards him.
“Oh, sorry,” Soonyoung said, putting his hands down. “It’s a great song.”
Hansol grinned. “You think so?” he asked. Jihoon smiled at the way Hansol’s knee bounced at Soonyoung’s nod.
“I’d dance to it. I like how you slowed down the last part with the rap!” Soonyoung said, gesturing with his hands in a series of moves timed to the part he was describing. “Like if I was choreographing it, it gives me enough space to be as restrained or as free as I want to be with the steps.”
“Oh wow, that looks amazing,” Hansol said with a low whistle. “If you ever wanna dance to it, I can give you a copy if you want? After I pass this to my prof or something.”
Soonyoung clapped his hands. “That’s so cool, thank you,” he said. “I’m trying to woo Jihoonie into letting me dance to one of his songs, but lemme hold you to that! It sounds really great, really, it’ll be an honor to dance to it.”
Jihoon laughed. “You’re getting a lot of new songs to dance to,” he said.
Soonyoung grinned. “Maybe you’re my good luck charm,” he said.
Jihoon scoffed, pretending to throw a chicken wing at Soonyoung’s face. “Stop playing around, I already said yes,” he said.
Hansol blinked. “W-what?” he said, looking from Jihoon to Soonyoung with his mouth open.
Soonyoung had his mouth open as well. “Wait—you’re letting me use your song? For real?” he asked.
Jihoon nodded. “Since you’re here anyway,” Jihoon said, waving his chicken wing around and missing Hansol's soft oh of understanding. “And you said you’d help me with my paper.”
Soonyoung nodded vigorously. “I’d write it for you if you asked, but you won’t, so I’ll help!”
Jihoon gestured to the empty chair to his right. “Come here, I need you to listen to this one. It’s the same one you heard but this one has lyrics now so… I don’t know, you can give it a listen first,” he said.
Soonyoung nodded, eyes focused on the computer screen as Jihoon clicked through his files for the song. “I’ll listen then you can talk me through the paper? I think I remember the outline you showed me earlier, we can start from there.”
Hansol quietly stood up and shuffled towards the coffee table, pouring himself a glass of Coke as he watched Soonyoung sit next to Jihoon.
Jihoon pressed Play, the now-familiar melody playing through the stereos. Hansol had settled himself into the couch, arms crossed over his chest. Soonyoung was tapping his fingers on the armrest of his chair, his hands moving in a dance sequence that Jihoon recognized from the day they first met when the chorus started playing.
The song ends after three minutes and thirty-three seconds, both Hansol and Soonyoung clapping long after the last note stopped playing.
“That was awesome, Hyung,” Hansol said, clearly impressed. “Different from what I’ve heard you make before but this was great!”
“It’s already great but the lyrics made it better,” Soonyoung gushed. “You’re a genius, Jihoonie.”
Jihoon ducked his head, busying himself with digging through the box of fried chicken on his lap.
Soonyoung chuckled. “I think he’s shy,” he stage-whispered to Hansol, who only laughed in response.
“Do you want to know how it feels to have a chicken wing thrown at you?” Jihoon asked.
Soonyoung mimed zipping his lips. Hansol laughed, finishing off his drink before standing up to gather all his loose music sheets and tidying up his leftovers.
“You going home?” Jihoon asked, pulling out his phone.
Hansol nodded, stuffing a pale pink beanie over his hair. “I have a paper to finish, my roommate asked me to pick up some vitamins too.”
“Lemme call you a taxi,” Jihoon said,
“No Hyung, it’s fine, I could take the bus,” Hansol said. “Taxis are expensive! I need to save.”
“You’ve been here all day, Hansollie,” Jihoon said. “Buses are probably full, it’s rush hour on a payday. Take the cab. Don’t worry about it.”
“...Thank you Hyung...” Hansol said, stifling a yawn into the crook of his elbow. “I’ll pay you back.”
“It’s my treat,” Jihoon said, raising an eyebrow at Hansol’s frown. “What?”
“I owe you a lot…” Hansol said, looking down at his R2-D2-patterned socks.
Jihoon shook his head. “This is more for me not having to worry about you falling asleep and missing your stop,” he reasoned. “It’s okay Hansollie. You’ve had a long day. You’ve worked hard.”
Hansol pouted, shuffling towards Jihoon with his arms extended. “Hyuuuuung~ Thank youuuuuu~”
Jihoon accepted Hansol’s hug with a laugh, patting the younger boy’s back a couple of times before his phone lit up with a notification. “Cab’s downstairs, message me when you get home, alright? I’ll send the song later,” Jihoon said, leaning down and handing Hansol’s bag to him. He saw Hansol to the door, waving until he got into the elevator, before shutting the studio door.
Soonyoung was still in his seat, looking around the studio with a faraway look in his eyes. Jihoon sat down next to him and Soonyoung turned his attention to him, eyes observing him but not saying anything.
“What?” Jihoon mumbled, covering his face with one hand.
Soonyoung blinked. Stared at Jihoon for a beat too long before clearing his throat. He shook his head, rolling his seat closer next to Jihoon. “Can I hear the song again?” he asked, his knee bumping against Jihoon’s once, twice.
Jihoon gulped and nodded, clicking his mouse and letting the song replace the silence that has filled the room.
Hansollie
Hyung, how did you meet Soonyoung-hyung?Jihoon
Good evening to you too HansolHansollie
Sorry haha
I'm home!!
Thank you for the ride home TTJihoon
Finished the song by the way, check the link I sent to your email
And to answer your question, I met him at the coffee shop Mingyu works at
He’s the roommate of my roommate’s boyfriend
I think he mentioned that earlierHansollie
/Thank you/
And oh, that’s cute
Did he?
But yes you two cuteJihoon
WhatHansollie
That’s like the six degrees of separation theory at workJihoon
What are you talking aboutHansollie
You know, that theory that all people are connected
to each other by six people on averageJihoon
...I met him because he stole my usual seat
at the coffee shop but okayHansollie
oh your favorite seat?
at the coffee shop?Jihoon
Yes that’s what I saidHansollie
that’s so cool, I thought meet-cutes only happen in like romcom films
it’s like you’re *destined*
Siri play Sweet SerendipityJihoon
What kind of things have you been watchingHansollie
I was on a Reddit binge a week ago
And Seungcheol-hyung had About Time playing when I came over
to help him set up stuff
Turns out 100 roses can be pretty heavyJihoon
A hundred??? What the hell is he gonna do with those?Hansollie
idk, he said it’s for Jeonghan-hyung so… just normal things?Jihoon
...oh you’re the errand boy for the anniversary dinnerHansollie
Yeah. I get pocket money though, which is awesome
I needed new headphonesJihoon
...good luck on your business venturesHansollie
Thanks Hyung
Thanks for the song btw Hyung
Good luck on your meet-cute too, cheering for uJihoon
Again, not a soulmate, just a new friendHansollie
Good luck on whatever new relationship!Jihoon
...thank you…?
Cheol
My Jihoon senses are tinglingJihoon
Your what
Do all my friends not know how
to start normal conversations anymoreCheol
There’s no rulebook when we know
each other before we could even talk
Anyways, my Jihoon senses are tingling
Do you have anything to share with the class?Jihoon
You mean my nosy best friendCheol
Awww, you called me best friend ♡Jihoon
Your selective reading skills never fail to amaze me
I also said you were nosyCheol
I pretend not to see -___-Jihoon
And I have nothing to tell youCheol
Is this where our friendship ends <///3
Why are you hiding things from me Jihoonie <///3
I’m hurt, you didn’t tell me you were dating anyone <///3Jihoon
Huh??
I didn’t know I was dating anyone
Okay what did Hansol tell youSeungcheol
something about a meet-cute and soulmates?Jihoon
Oh
Hansol that little shit
Don’t listen to him
I’m not dating anyone
And he’s probably talking about Soonyoung
Who I am not dating by the way, what the hellCheol
Like the dance team captain?
Kwon Soonyoung?Jihoon
Oh. Yeah, him.
You know him?Cheol
He’s kinda famous.
Like campus heartthrob kinda famousJihoon
Oh, really?
I didn’t knowCheol
It’s fine, you’re youJihoon
...okayCheol
Anyway, why was Hansol talking about Soonyoung?Jihoon
Oh
I met him the other day, at the coffee shop Mingyu works at
Turns out he’s Wonwoo’s roommateCheol
Wonwoo, Mingyu’s boyfriend?Jihoon
Yeah
He stole my usual seat
Then his airpods connected to my laptop and
he got surprised because he heard my song
playing out of nowhere so he fell out of his seatCheol
...that does sound like a romcomJihoon
No it’s just… funny.Cheol
Still doesn’t explain why Hansol’s talking about himJihoon
Oh, he dropped by the studio today, that’s why they met
He helped me write a paper for a song I did
He wanted to use a song for his… showcase?
He was looking for a new song to dance to
And he liked the song I was working on
So he asked me if he could have itCheol
...and you let him?Jihoon
Well he did help me
He told me it was his favorite song the first time he heard the draft
And he listened to a bunch of other songs I made, it was nice
to hear it being interpreted by someone who works with music
but not necessarily a musicianCheol
Awww that’s sweet
wAIT—
HE KNOWS ABOUT THE L SONGS?????
YOU’RE MAKING HIM ONE???Jihoon
Why are you yelling??!Cheol
BECAUSE!!!!!!Jihoon
I didn’t /make/ him one
He’s just using one I already made
Again, he did help meCheol
But this is a big deal!!!
You don’t just do this for anyone?
/Have/ you done this for anyone???
Especially for someone you just met???Jihoon
How can you sound so sure
I can be niceCheol
Duh, I know, I’m your best friendJihoon
Not that I have a say in this matterCheol
Quit interrupting me, you gremlin
You like him don’t you?Jihoon
What the fuck, Choi SeungcheolCheol
That’s not going to work on me
I know what he looks like, he’s totally your typeJihoon
I don’t have a type???Cheol
Yes you do
You like tall, friendly guys who could be
talkative enough for the both of you
That’s why you liked me in the first place
And you pretend you’re grumpy but
that’s why you like Mingyu so much
But I win because best friend privilegesJihoon
Wow you really have no shameCheol
Because I’m right!!!!
Look, you're not denying it!!!!Jihoon
I am ignoring this conversationCheol
You can run away from me but you can’t
run away from your feelings Jihoonie!!!Jihoon
The only feelings I have right now are
confusion and probably murderous intentCheol
Stop changing the subject!!!Jihoon
I’m not, I’m ending it. Right now.
Stop typing!Cheol
>:(Jihoon
Don’t push it!Cheol
But whyyyyy, he sounds nice :<Jihoon
Seungcheol, just because you’ve found your soulmate
on the first day of college doesn’t mean everyone
else can, you knowCheol
But I want you to be happy :<
You know that right?Jihoon
I know, and I am! I’m perfectly content.
I don’t need to be in a relationship to be happy, CheolCheol
I know! All I’m saying is that if destiny presents you
with an opportunity, it wouldn’t be bad to take a chance at happiness?Jihoon
That’s messy
Can’t I just make a friendCheol
Of course you can
And I’m glad you’re making friends!
You’re a good person, more people should know :)Jihoon
...thank youCheol
Wow, that was easy
I like this character development :)Jihoon
StooooooopCheol
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ fine fine I’ll stop
For nowJihoon
That sounds like a threatCheol
I don’t know what you’re talking about~Jihoon
Okay weirdoCheol
I’m watching you o____o”Jihoon
I’m blocking youCheol
>:ccccccccccccccccc
Soonyoung
Jihoonie!
Thank you for letting me hang out at your studio!
Your place is so coolJihoon
Haha thanks
Thanks for helping me with the paper
I don’t know how you do it
But it felt like you understood the song
more than I did at one pointSoonyoung
Nooooooooo it’s still your song!!!
I just helped! :<
Sometimes we get stuck in the technical stuff that
our professors like to ask so we forget
That was all still you!Jihoon
Thanks for helping, really
I owe you big timeSoonyoung
Shhhhh
Letting me use the song was more than enough!!!!!!!
Thank you by the way, this is helping me out a lot ;____;
I won’t waste it!!!Jihoon
Go wild haha
Excited to see how it would look likeSoonyoung
I’ll do my best!!!
Thank you very much, Jihoonie <3Jihoon
You’re very welcome
“Why are you here again?” Jihoon asked in confirmation, watching Soonyoung spin himself around in dizzying circles on another wheeled office chair.
“Brain hurty,” Soonyoung replied, pouting. His voice was softer, quieter, like he was not working on full capacity. “We got the practice room with the shitty stereo, all the other practice rooms were full. The feedback was driving everyone crazy, so we all took an early day. Can’t dance.”
“...And you went here instead?” Jihoon asked, confused.
Soonyoung kicked out one foot to steady against the floor, stopping his chair from spinning. “Yeah,” he said, grinning. “Your stereos are amazing, I wanna listen to the song without all that crappy static.”
“I can’t believe you only like me for my stereos,” Jihoon said.
“Oh trust me, I like you a whole lot more than that,” Soonyoung said, stretching his arms over his head and smiling at the way Jihoon was staring at him. “You have a whole room .”
“I feel used,” Jihoon said, clearing his throat turning back to the brightness of his screen so he does not have to look at Soonyoung grinning from the other office chair. “I do not consent to this.”
“This is a mutually beneficial relationship!” Soonyoung argued. “I get to hang out here, and you get my company! My presence is a gift!”
“We became friends five minutes ago,” Jihoon said, flinching at the sudden ping of a KakaoTalk notification. He checked his phone, but his inbox was empty. There was another ping, and Jihoon glanced over to see Soonyoung’s screen light up as he hunched over his phone, frowning.
“I got dinner and coffee for you too,” Soonyoung said. “I’d say we’re way past friends at this point.”
“What?” Jihoon said, ignoring the way his ears turned very warm at Soonyoung’s words. “You bought me a muffin for brunch, not dinner.”
"Oh, yeah, that too. That makes it brunch and dinner then,” Soonyoung said, waving his phone screen at Jihoon. “Ordered food to be delivered here… hope that’s okay?”
“...you didn’t have to,” Jihoon said, even as his stomach growls quietly at the mention of food.
“Hey, I’m gatecrashing your studio, it’s the least I could do,” Soonyoung said. “You like bibimbap right? Hansol mentioned kimchi rice that other day and your eyes went full-on anime sparkles— ow, stop working out, you punch so hard ohmygod.”
“Y-you’re not gatecrashing,” Jihoon said, face warm. “It’s fine, you did ask before going here. Thanks for messaging before actually showing up by the way.”
Soonyoung smiled, not replying. His phone lit up once again and they broke eye contact, Soonyoung tilting his head as he squinted at his phone.
“Say, is Mingyu working at the coffee shop today?” Soonyoung asked, eyes still on his phone.
Jihoon clicked through his files, opening the song he was currently working on with mixing software. “He has a shift today, something about switching schedules with Seokmin for exams,” he answered. “He should be done by now.”
Soonyoung nodded, brows furrowed as he typed out something on his phone. “I ordered from them too, by the way. You seemed like you liked the muffin.”
Jihoon paused, turning to Soonyoung. “Oh. Uh, thank you,” he said.
Soonyoung finally looked up, smiling at Jihoon. “Don’t worry about it.”
Jihoon cleared his throat, turning back to glare at his monitor. “Why’d you ask, by the way?” he said.
“Wonwoo just messaged me,” Soonyoung answered. “Said Mingyu wanted to tell us he’s bringing us extra cookies, on the house.”
“...Huh?” Jihoon said. Soonyoung shrugged in reply, standing up from his seat when he heard the doorbell ring.
“I think that’s the food! I’ll get it!” Soonyoung said.
“Special delivery!” A familiar deep voice called out from outside before Soonyoung pulled the door open.
“Hi! I already paid online right—oh, hello Mingyu!” he said. “Wait, Wonwoo?”
Jihoon stood up from his seat, walking towards the door to see a grinning Mingyu carrying paper bags from the coffee shop, Wonwoo standing beside him and waving when he saw Jihoon.
“Hi there, Hyung!” Mingyu chirped out, smiling widely when he saw Jihoon.
“Why are you here too?” Soonyoung asked, squinting at his roommate. “Do you work at the cafe too?”
Wonwoo laughed, shaking his head. “Nah, Mingyu told me you ordered delivery from here, I just tagged along,” he said, raising an eyebrow at Soonyoung’s direction. “You haven’t been telling me things.”
Soonyoung frowned. “I told you I didn’t have classes for the rest of the day,”
Wonwoo shook his head. “No, not about that,” he said.
Jihoon went to stand next to Soonyoung as he continued his staring match with his own roommate, getting the drinks and pastries from Mingyu’s hands. “I thought your shift was over?”
“Ah, I saw the address and told Jisoo-hyung I could deliver it! I was clocking out anyway,” Mingyu said. “They let me try baking today so you get the extra ones!”
“They’re really good,” Wonwoo volunteered. “Jisoo-hyung picked the prettiest ones to sell.”
“Thanks,” Jihoon said. “Do you wanna come in? There’s only Soonyoung here.”
Mingyu began nodding his head. “Can we?” he asked.
Wonwoo held onto his boyfriend’s arm, pulling gently at his sleeve. “Actually we have to go somewhere,” he said.
Mingyu turned to Wonwoo. “We do?”
Wonwoo nodded, his hand sliding down from Mingyu’s sleeve to hold his hand. “There’s this art cafe that lets you paint whatever you like,” he said, his free hand tugging at his own earlobe. “I know you’ve been around coffee all day…”
Mingyu’s eyes were soft as he squeezed Wonwoo’s hand. “That sounds amazing, Hyung, thank you.”
Soonyoung took the drinks from Jihoon’s arms, flapping his hands at the couple. “Go on, you’ll be late,” he said. “You reserved that like a month ago, have fun!”
Wonwoo turned to glare at Soonyoung, who was quick to sidestep and hide behind Jihoon. Mingyu waved cutely at Jihoon, reassuring his roommate he had his keys with him (“you put it in my bag this morning, it’s there, I’m good!”) before the couple made their way down the hallway.
Jihoon turned to close the door and caught Soonyoung smiling at Mingyu and Wonwoo’s backs, huddled close together as they waited for the elevator. Soonyoung met his gaze and giggled, allowing Jihoon to shuffle the two of them inside.
“They’re cute,” Soonyoung commented, setting the paper bag of pastries on Jihoon’s (miraculously clean) coffee table.
(The fact that Jihoon ran around clearing any visible sign of filth from the studio when Soonyoung asked if he could hang out was a minor detail.)
Jihoon hummed in response, setting down tissues on the table surface before setting the drinks down. “They’re good for each other,” he agreed, then chuckled. “And we get free breakfast sometimes.”
Soonyoung laughed, even as his face twisted into a horrified expression. “I’ve been swindled! With food! The betrayal! Unacceptable!” he declared, nostrils flaring. “Jihoon, we should get back at them! We’re cuter than they are anyways.”
Jihoon stared at Soonyoung. “How the hell did you get to that ?”
Soonyoung crossed his arms over his chest, somehow reminding Jihoon of an angry hamster meme that Seungcheol sent him a couple of days ago. “I don’t know! I feel like I’ve been challenged to find my own cute boyfriend to make cute morning-after breakfasts with.”
“You’re on your own there buddy, I’ve been single my whole life,” Jihoon said. “Good luck with your cute couple goals.”
“What? Why? Come on, we could get boyfriends too! Dating apps should be easy,” Soonyoung said, frowning afterward as Jihoon stared at him in unmasked incredulity. “...actually I’d have to ask Wonwoo how to use those, never mind.”
“What do you mean why,” Jihoon said, gesturing vaguely at himself. “Have you seen me? I could barely reach the footrest of my favorite cafe chair.”
Soonyoung frowned. “What’s wrong with you, you look awesome,” and he has that look on his face similar to when Jihoon was saying that his half-finished song was not as good as he thought.
“Stop,” Jihoon mumbled, ducking his head.
“No I won’t? I have excellent taste,” Soonyoung said, raising an eyebrow.
“Why are you being competitive over this, I’m fine,” Jihoon said. “I don’t need a boyfriend. You don’t need one too unless you really want to.”
Soonyoung’s shoulders fell, but he nodded his head. “True.” He handed Jihoon his iced Americano order, picking up his own iced latte and taking a sip.
Jihoon held his hand out to Soonyoung. “Do you have the file?” he asked.
Soonyoung looked up from where he was sifting through the paper bag of cookies. “Huh?”
“Do you have the file,” Jihoon repeated. “The song you were supposed to choreograph for class earlier.”
Soonyoung began shaking his head. “I was joking!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t really come here for your stereos, I just—”
“You won’t be able to stop thinking about the choreography anyway,” Jihoon interrupted. “It’s fine, you can just listen to the music here, you don’t have to work on it right away.”
Soonyoung hesitated, a lost look in his eyes like he did not know what to do next. “Really, I just wanted to hang out,” he said.
Jihoon wiggled his eyebrows. “I have nice stereos,” he said, smiling widely. “Surround sound, the works.”
Soonyoung burst out laughing. “That’s cute,” he commented. Jihoon and Soonyoung look at each other for a moment (or two? Five moments? How do you measure these things anyway? Jihoon didn’t know) before Soonyoung blinked, ducking his head to rummage through his bag for his flash drive.
“Hyung?” Mingyu said, the confusion evident in his voice as he peeked over the back of the couch. He watched as Jihoon let his backpack slide gently from his arm to the floor. “I thought you’d be out late…”
“I wasn’t that busy,” Jihoon said, shuffling to the kitchen. “Soonyoung was getting sleepy so I sent him home. We split the taxi fare to save money.”
“Oh, I thought… never mind,” Mingyu mumbled, settling back into the couch.
Jihoon grabbed a can of Coke and made his way back to the living room to pick up his bag, waving a surprised hello to a Wonwoo that had just woken up from his nap on Mingyu’s shoulder.
“Oh, hello,” Wonwoo said, yawning and nuzzling his face into Mingyu’s neck. “How’d your date with Soonyoung go?”
Jihoon paused. “That wasn’t a date,” he answered slowly.
Wonwoo blinked, turning his head to look at Jihoon. “...Did you want it to be?” he asked.
Jihoon sat down on the floor and leaned against the couch, opening the can of Coke and taking a large gulp. The slight fizz from the soda can was almost silent, only heard in the quiet gaps of the movie Mingyu and Wonwoo were watching. (It was one of the Ghibli films, Whisper of the Heart .)
“...not a date,” Jihoon said, clearing his throat after a stretch of silence.
Wonwoo shifted in Mingyu’s arms, peering down at Jihoon’s spot on the floor so he could look at Jihoon properly. “You didn’t answer my question though.”
Jihoon stayed quiet, taking another swig from his soda. He pressed down on the surface, hearing the aluminum crinkle under his fingertips.
“He talks about you a lot, you know,” Wonwoo said, words soft enough to be a whisper. “He… he’s shy, but he always sounds excited when he comes home after meeting up with you.”
Jihoon knew.
Jihoon knew, because Soonyoung told him about this earlier, in between bites of the cookies Mingyu made. They had ended up listening to the mix that Soonyoung was supposed to choreograph, a tropical house mix that sounded different from his usual smooth R&B and hard-hitting hip hop picks. Jihoon let Soonyoung take over his whiteboard, asked questions about the sequences he had scribbled down, watched Soonyoung explain with the movement of his body rather than with words. And after that, a soft request for Jihoon to play his song, their song, the song that Jihoon had let him use for his showcase. And after that, Jihoon played other songs, the ones he had dug out of the folders that he had hidden, and then some.
They ended up ordering dinner. They ended up cooking ramen, too, arguing about best brands, and Soonyoung launching into a passionate monologue about the best kimchi that would go with instant noodles. Jihoon had listened, using the lid of the pot as a plate and slurping up noodles as Soonyoung discussed the best kind of peppers to use to make kimchi. Soonyoung was blushing when he caught Jihoon watching him, chopsticks suspended in midair, a small smile on his face.
Jihoon had settled into his seat, Soonyoung putting down his own chopsticks and standing. Soonyoung went to Jihoon’s computer, pressed Play. The song started playing, the song that helped them meet. Unlike the first time, the song was finished, complete with lyrics that Jihoon had written down after watching Soonyoung’s dancing on the reflection of the coffee shop window.
Soonyoung had swayed his body in time to the beat of the song, much like the first time he had heard Jihoon’s song— their song. Because at least, in his head, Jihoon could say it out loud. Jihoon’s voice played from the stereo, the lyrics that he had written down at his favorite spot at the cafe washing over them. Soonyoung looked at him then, said thank you for inspiring him. Jihoon had held up his hands in a panic, asking Soonyoung to stop the praise, but Soonyoung soldiered on. Soonyoung then told him he was grateful they got to meet, how hearing his song has made him feel inspired to do better, for himself, but also for Jihoon too. How the song woke up something in him, something that Soonyoung felt he had missed over the years. How nice it was to have something to hold on to, to have a song mean so much to him.
Jihoon knew.
“...What do you want me to say?” Jihoon said, looking at Wonwoo.
Wonwoo leaned back, letting Mingyu wrap his arms more securely around him. “To me? Nothing really. But…”
Jihoon waited. Mingyu stayed silent, choosing instead to rest his chin over his boyfriend’s shoulder. Wonwoo cleared his throat, taking his time to think about the next words that he wanted to say.
“It’s… it’s hard to talk, really, I understand. I can’t really speak for Soonyoung, but… I am his best friend. If you have anything you want to say to him, I’m… he would probably love to hear it.”
Jihoon drank the rest of his Coke in one go, wincing as the soda burned a path down his throat. “I… we talk enough,” he said. He knew it wasn’t much of an answer, but it was the best he could think of right now. “We… Wonwoo, we just met.”
“And the time you knew each other would count in the way the both of you would want it to,” Wonwoo said. “You two could talk it out.” His voice was quiet, like the rest of his personality. That part, Jihoon understood.
“... I’m not exactly good at talking, if you haven’t noticed,” Jihoon said. The TV’s sounds were not loud, but everything else felt muted against the thundering of Jihoon’s heart against his ribcage.
Why was he even nervous? Wonwoo was about as threatening as an overgrown cat… which in hindsight sounded pretty threatening.
Wonwoo laughed then, making both Jihoon and Mingyu smile. “I know. It’s fine,” Wonwoo reassured him.
Mingyu’s arms tightened around Wonwoo’s waist as he peeked at his roommate’s face. “You can do it, Jihoon-hyung,” he said. “I… I may be a bit more biased towards your happiness, but I see the both of you hang out at the coffee shop. Soonyoung-hyung didn’t even go there that much before the two of you met.”
“Mingyu…”
Mingyu nodded. “I know, I know, that doesn’t have to mean anything. But…” he said. Wonwoo moved to rub circles into Mingyu’s knuckles, slow and comforting. He bit his lip before he continued, carefully watching his roommate’s expression. “Remember that song you let me listen to like a week ago?”
Jihoon nodded.
“You told me this one wasn’t gonna make me cry,” Mingyu said, laughing a little. “You were smiling a little, like you’re not scared for people to hear it. I always liked your songs, Hyung, but this one felt different.”
Jihoon ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “What are you trying to say, Mingyu?” he asked.
“You told me your songs were like your own… process? Right? Am I using the right word?” Mingyu asked, waiting for Jihoon’s nod before continuing. “Like you were trying to find out something whenever you write one.”
“You’re right,” Jihoon said, touched that Mingyu remembered what was probably a drunk and sleep-deprived ramble.
Mingyu grinned. “When you made me listen to that song… the one you let Soonyoung-hyung use for his showcase?” he said. “It felt like you found the answer well on your own.”
Jihoon tipped the rest of his soda down his throat, crumpling the can in his fist as he let Mingyu’s words sink into his stomach, filling every crevice with a bubbly, giddy, slightly nauseating sensation. “Maybe? I don’t know,” he said. “I really don’t know.”
(“...I can set you up on a date? If you want?”
“...Wonwoo, Mingyu likes you very much. Please don’t make me want to punch you.”
“...gotcha.”
“Please don’t punch my boyfriend, Jihoon-hyung.”
“Go watch your movie.”)
That night, Jihoon dreamt of a familiar beat, the sweet taste of warm cookies and cold milky coffee lingering on his tongue when he woke up. He stared at the ceiling, throat dry, confused and a little scared as he played back his conversation with Wonwoo in his head.
Maybe he was overthinking this.
Maybe he got caught up in the whirlwind that was Soonyoung’s personality and energy and his everything— his loud laugh when Jihoon cracked one of Seungcheol’s lame jokes and his shy smiles when Jihoon clapped after he demonstrated a routine he was trying to explain. Maybe he got confused by Wonwoo’s vague questions, which sounded like part threat and part interrogation.
His sleep for the rest of the night was fitful at best. The next morning, he stumbled into the kitchen and was greeted by a full Western-style breakfast spread. Mingyu cheerfully piling toast on his plate as Wonwoo, hair standing fifteen different directions, nursed his cup of coffee from his unofficial official seat at the dining table.
Jihoon bumped his hip on the corner of the dining table, sitting down with a hiss of pain. Wonwoo winced in sympathy from the seat across him.
“Good morning, Jihoon-hyung!” Mingyu said, both hands busy with flipping bread. “I made too much French toast, want some?”
Jihoon covered his face with his hands and let out a long-suffering sigh.
“Jihoon-hyung…?”
“....Sure, Mingyu, thanks.”
“Okay! Wait, I’ll get you a plate.”
“...do you have extra coffee?”
“Yeah, sure. Iced Americano?”
“...actually, can you make that a latte?”
Jihoon frowned at the picture of the hand-drawn map Soonyoung had sent him before giving up, pulling up the university website to look for Soonyoung’s building. Their university has one of the biggest campuses in the country, and Jihoon was embarrassed to admit that he did not care much to explore it before today.
“I’ll be practicing but you can just go in anytime, it’s just me anyway,” Soonyoung had told him when he invited Jihoon, insisting that he needed Jihoon’s feedback for his final routine. When Jihoon tried to ask why he began stumbling over his words. Jihoon got bits and pieces of Soonyoung’s nervous rambling; part “I want you to see it first,” and also a hurried, “It’s kinda like our song now, so…”
Jihoon had hoped his face was not as red as it felt when he had pulled at Soonyoung’s sleeve before agreeing.
Maybe Jihoon should have asked for better directions instead.
Fifteen minutes later, with the help of the surprisingly comprehensive map on the university website and a couple of students who pointed him in the right direction, he finally found his way to the practice rooms.
The hallway was blessedly empty. Different music genres filtered through the closed doors, different people practicing for the upcoming showcase. Jihoon checked Soonyoung’s message for the practice room number and walked to the end of the hallway. The door was unlocked, left open for Jihoon just like Soonyoung had told him it would be.
The door to the back part of the room was open, and Jihoon silently slipped inside. The familiar song was blasting through the practice room, dark except for three overhead lights that created a spotlight effect on the reflection of the floor-length mirror up front.
A solitary figure was standing under the spotlights, waiting.
Jihoon sat down, back straight against the back part of the wall. The rise and fall of Soonyoung’s chest were reflected on the mirrors, something Jihoon could see even from the distance he was sitting.
Jihoon’s song started playing. Soonyoung took one breath, struck a pose.
A beat, and a second, and Soonyoung started to dance.
Jihoon couldn’t look away.
He had seen Soonyoung dance before. It was impossible not to when he has spent the last couple of months (has it been months?) constantly in the other’s presence. But this was not the simple movements and silly wiggling of hips that Soonyoung did when he was trying to internalize dance steps. But never like this, so purposely, with every bone and muscle in full command, every breath with intention. A hurricane with a homing signal trapped in a human form, always in a perpetual state of motion.
If Jihoon thought Soonyoung was graceful as he tried to demonstrate his routines while seated, Soonyoung using his whole body to express a dance was a sight to behold. The way he squared his shoulders to prepare for the next eight beats. The way Jihoon surprised himself when he recognized how Soonyoung placed his feet on the third position, a hazy recollection from a younger cousin’s ballet recitals. The way the fabric of Soonyoung’s clothes clung to every muscle of his body, skintight today to emphasize the lines he made with every wave, every turn precisely made.
Even the way Soonyoung breathed looked pretty to Jihoon.
Jihoon had to remind himself to breathe.
When he was asked about his inspiration for writing songs, his professors would always be frustrated with his non-committal answers. He remembered one TA staring at him blankly when he tried to explain that the song he submitted was inspired by the ambient noises he heard while procrastinating at the coffee shop he worked at. It felt silly to admit that the songs were more of his own questions than any standard creative inspiration that artists always seemed to have ready, of him trying to make sense of the world moving around him in motion as he tries to capture moments and trap them in notes and half-measures.
The stuff he allows himself to submit to school are the bare bones of his emotions, the beginner levels that he has let everyone else unlock before anyone else dares explore the complicated map of feelings he himself has yet to discover. Seungcheol, lover of video games, has compared his songwriting to battling boss levels that he liked to challenge, because it meant unlocking another side of Jihoon that he had hidden from the rest of the world.
Jihoon usually did not want to think about it, because each song is a different conversation. It felt wrong to categorize them somehow, A complete train of thought written out with melodies and harmonies to accompany them. They are his questions and his hopes for finding his answers on his own terms.
Now, as Jihoon watched every flick of Soonyoung’s wrist, every bend of his waist and every turn of his heel, it felt like finally, someone has understood his question, taken the time to untangle the riddle from the melody, and had written the response he did not know he needed.
The words he used were clicking into place, no longer simple place fillers to fill in the silence of the beats he had written.
Soonyoung showed him what a love song should feel like.
It was long before Jihoon noticed that Soonyoung had stopped dancing. The second chorus of the song was still playing, but Soonyoung was standing still, padding towards the wall of mirrors. For the first time, Jihoon noticed the phone grip attached to the reflective surface, filming Soonyoung’s routine.
Jihoon leaned back, the wall cold even through his clothes, thankful that Soonyoung had yet to see him. Right up front, Soonyoung had his head bowed, watching the routine he filmed on his phone. The harsh spotlights seemed to soften in the way they hugged the dancer’s form, every detail standing in soft contrast to the darkness of the room.
There it was again, Jihoon thought, opening and closing his fists to help him process the rush of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him. That sharp bite of something climbing up his throat, making his eyes smart the longer he watched Soonyoung.
Soonyoung, in all his brilliant liveliness, his innocent curiosity, his firm belief in the good of everyone he met.
Jihoon had always preferred gloomy rainy days, but he found he did not mind the bright sunny days that Soonyoung had brought into his life.
But light, even after being in the dark for so long, can still be scary.
Because what was his confusing shadows of doubt against Soonyoung’s answering light?
He felt his nails digging into the palms of his hands, the sudden pain a sharp grounding reminder of where he was, of who he was sharing the room with.
Jihoon stood up from his spot from the back of the room, dusting off his pants. He let himself watch Soonyoung dance along with the video on his phone for a few more seconds, sighed, and shuffled out of the room through the same door he entered, careful not to make a sound. He made his way back through the hallways, Lost Stars playing from a practice room’s open door serving as the background music of his quiet escape.
Aren’t we all lost stars
Tring to light up the dark?
Soonyoung
Hey Jihoonie, did you get lost?
Sorry if my map wasn’t helpful :(
Not that you had to show up by the way!!!
You did say you might be busy!!!
I guess... I just really wanted to show you the dance :(
“I’m a monster,” Jihoon told the ceiling of his apartment’s living room. He heard the vacuum shut off and the approach of his roommate’s slippered feet before Mingyu’s upside-down face blocked his view.
“Hyung? Did you say something?” Mingyu said, rolling the sleeves of his shirt to his shoulders.
Jihoon groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. “I’m talking to my conscience,” he said.
Mingyu snorted, turning on the vacuum cleaner again. “I hope you’re having a nice conversation,” he replied. “Send my regards, I haven’t heard from your conscience for a while. Maybe your conscience could help me clean sometimes.”
“You’ve been cleaning all day,” Jihoon commented, sitting up and watching Mingyu vacuum the rug near the entryway for the third time. “Didn’t you vacuum this morning?”
“You won’t believe how much skin two guys can shed,” Mingyu said over the whirring of the machine, avoiding Jihoon’s gaze. “It’s so dusty here already.”
Jihoon narrowed his eyes, standing up to walk over to the kitchen area. He spared a glance at their large wall calendar, squinting at Mingyu’s scribble under today’s date, the number encircled in red. He grabbed a can of soda from the refrigerator, taking a huge gulp and leaving the can on the counter before standing on the rug, directly in the path of Mingyu’s beloved vacuum cleaner.
“Hyung! I just finished cleaning here!” Mingyu complained, shutting off the vacuum.
“Don’t you have to go somewhere?” Jihoon asked.
Mingyu pouted, scratching at the blush creeping up his neck. “I haven’t cleaned the whole apartment yet—” he started before Jihoon grabbed the vacuum handle from his flailing hands.
“Mingyu. We could probably eat off the floor now. It’s clean,” Jihoon said, firm but not unkind. “You should get ready for your important dinner.”
“Ah, this hyung, I’m fine!” he whined, making grabby hands as Jihoon pulled the vacuum behind him. “I have enough time!”
“You take forever fixing your hair,” Jihoon reminded him, glaring for further effect when Mingyu continued his attempts to get the vacuum cleaner back. “You know you like looking pretty.”
Mingyu’s shoulders drooped down, like Jihoon had just taken away his favorite toy. (The vacuum was one of those fancy cordless ones that Mingyu gifted himself for his birthday; Jihoon called it their third roommate sometimes.) “I like cleaning,” Mingyu mumbled, eyes watery and looking very much like a kicked puppy. “Maybe I just don’t wanna think about other things.”
“The rug was gonna get sucked into the vacuum at the rate you’re going,” Jihoon said. “You can stress clean another day, buddy.”
Mingyu looked down at the floor. “I’m just… nervous,” he finally admitted. “I don’t want to mess up at dinner.”
“Well you can be nervous after you take a shower and dress up,” Jihoon said, patting Mingyu’s arm before he lugged the vacuum back to their storage closet. “One thing at a time.”
Mingyu trailed after Jihoon, finally clutching at Jihoon’s sleeve after he had wrestled their vacuum cleaner into the closet. “I don’t know what to do,” Mingyu whispered, the terror in his voice making it shake. “I don’t want to mess up, Hyung.”
Jihoon faced Mingyu and began rubbing his arms, leading him back to his bedroom and pointing at the outfit choices that Mingyu had prepared. “Come on, let’s make you pretty,” he said instead, gently pushing his roommate towards the bathroom.
Mingyu pouted but gave in, shutting the bathroom door behind him. Jihoon waited for the sound of the shower to turn on before padding back to the living room. He blinked at the mess he had made of the area, sheepishly picking up the throw blanket that they kept there and straightening the couch pillows. Maybe his conscience heard Mingyu over the sound of the vacuum cleaner after all.
His phone screen lit up. Another message from Soonyoung.
Soonyoung
Are you okay?
Now Jihoon felt really bad.
It wasn’t Soonyoung’s fault that Jihoon was a coward and an idiot.
Jihoon
Hey Soonyoung.
Sorry I didn’t message you earlier.
Uh, your map was fine, I’m bad with directions so…
not your fault, that's on me.
Something just came up, I had to meet with my professor about my paper.
I didn’t get to message you before the meeting started, sorry.
Things just got… a little complicated…
Jihoon read over his text once, twice, before pressing Send and burying his phone under a cushion, giving the pillow a few punches before burying his face and screaming into the cotton.
Mingyu scurried out of his room shirtless, a sweater and a dress shirt in each hand, and took one look at the portrait of Jihoon’s personal crisis. “...what did the furniture do to you?” he asked.
Jihoon looked at Mingyu, the younger covering his chest with a blush, before unearthing his phone. He unlocked the screen and handed the phone over to his roommate right as it pinged with a new message.
“Wait... you didn’t show up? But you left so early that day…” Mingyu said, squinting down at Jihoon’s phone as the latter groaned into the cushions once more.
“I went,” Jihoon said, warm face still buried in his couch pillow. It was freshly laundered, still smelling of the lavender fabric conditioner that Mingyu chose. “I just didn’t tell him.”
He felt Mingyu sit down on the free space on the couch next to Jihoon’s head. “Hyung…” he said, voice soft. Jihoon turned his face to look up at Mingyu’s face. His roommate’s forehead was furrowed, but Jihoon was grateful that Mingyu was not saying anything else.
“I…” Jihoon said, not really knowing what he wanted to say. “It was just—it was a lot, all of a sudden, all at once. I didn’t know what to do with myself.”
Mingyu began to nibble on his lip. “He was asking about your paper,” he said. “It doesn’t look like he knows you were there.”
Jihoon sat up slowly, picking at a loose thread on the throw pillow’s cover to avoid meeting Mingyu’s gaze.
“He’s your friend, before anything else,” Mingyu said. “A friend who sounds very worried about you.”
The thread snapped off from the pillow, and Jihoon silently wrapped it tight around his finger. He heard Mingyu sigh, felt him rise from the couch.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Hyung,” Mingyu said. His voice was so small, and Jihoon’s guilt increased tenfold—he was supposed to be the older one here, yet Mingyu was taking care of him, even when the younger one was in the midst of his own personal breakdown. “But you know how Soonyoung-hyung is. He’s not gonna stop being worried, and he’s already got a lot on his plate, from what Wonwoo’s told me. You’d know what to do best.”
Jihoon swallowed around his dry throat and nodded. Mingyu frowned, opening his mouth to say something but decided against it, and turned to head back to his room.
“The blue shirt,” Jihoon said. Mingyu turned, raising both eyebrows at him. Jihoon offered him a tentative smile. “You look good in that shirt.”
Mingyu smiled. “Thank you, Hyung,” he said. He tilted his head, looking at Jihoon’s phone. “You should get to that.”
Jihoon smiled back. “And you should get dressed,” he said. “You bought those nice pants with too many zeroes on the price tag, you better show up and impress Wonwoo’s whole family tree with your natural klutz and charm.”
Mingyu pouted, throwing the sweater he was holding at Jihoon before retreating to his room. Jihoon folded the sweater the way Mingyu taught him, then picked up his phone to finally reply to Soonyoung.
Soonyoung
Oh, your paper! Was it that professor who gave you a hard time?
I hope everything’s okay D:Jihoon
Oh
Right
Yeah him
It’s fine, no harm doneSoonyoung
That’s great!Jihoon
Sorry I couldn’t go see youSoonyoung
Issokay!
I got to film a clean run of the dance btw!
I would’ve probably been too nervous if you were there
Wanna watch?Jihoon
Oh
Uh, sureSoonyoung
[Showpiece Dance Practice mp4]
It’s not the best yet but I didn’t make any mistakes on this one!
Of course it’s best to watch onstage ;)
But I’ll do my best!!!
Gotta do my best for Jihoonie’s song :DJihoon
I’m sure you’ll do great :)Soonyoung
Thank you Jihoonie :”>
You can watch the video anytime if you like!
Constructive comments from you much appreciatedJihoon
I don’t know much about dance
to make good comments though…Soonyoung
But I’m dancing to your song!
That should be more than enough!
It's your music, of course your opinion matters to me
Lemme know how I do :D
(please be gentle i’m baby)Jihoon
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I’ll message you after I watch itSoonyoung
Okay :”>
Mingyu found Jihoon seated on the couch fifteen minutes later, pressing the replay button on the video Soonyoung sent him for the third time.
“...you okay?” Mingyu hazarded.
“I… don’t know,” Jihoon said, voice strangled. He looked at Mingyu, blinking at his roommate until Mingyu began to squirm under his gaze.
“What, why?” Mingyu mumbled, shifting from one foot to the other.
Jihoon cleared his throat, then put his phone down. “Later. Let’s get you to Wonwoo’s house in one piece.”
Jihoon
Hey
Watched your dance
You were really good
Sorry, I had to make sure Mingyu got to Wonwoo’s safelySoonyoung
Jihoonieeeee
Thank you ;______;
Oh yeah, it's meet the parents day!!
Wonnie was pretty nervous too
I hope everything’s fineJihoon
Mingyu baked a cake as a present
If he manages to not drop it, he'll be fineSoonyoung
A cake?!
Now I’m jealous ;_____;
Maybe I should come over…….
Wonwoo’s parents like me anywayJihoon
I don't think that's a good idea...Soonyoung
Kidding lol
Hey
Can I callJihoon
Uh
Sure
I’m not very good at talking right now thoughSoonyoung
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Nah you’re good
I’ll talk!
I wanna see your face
Can I video call?
Please?Jihoon
Okay :)
Jihoon’s phone rang after five seconds.
“Hi!” Soonyoung greeted, face a little too close to the screen. Jihoon laughed, and Soonyoung moved the phone away. His hair looked freshly washed, and he was wrapped in a gray comforter.
“Are you gonna sleep?” Jihoon said, glancing up at the wall clock in their living room. “This early?”
“I couldn’t sleep last night,” Soonyoung replied, bringing up a part of the comforter to cover his mouth before he yawned. “And I’m pooped from practice. My sleep debt demands to be paid.”
“...you look really tired, should you be talking to me?” Jihoon asked, watching as Soonyoung stifled another yawn.
There was some rustling from Soonyoung’s side as he slid down his bed, propping his phone somewhere so he could continue talking to Jihoon while he got comfortable under his comforter.
“I like talking to you,” Soonyoung said. “It’s… it helps calm me down. I’ll have a good sleep.”
And they did talk. They talked about Soonyoung’s day, about Jihoon’s paper. How Soonyoung was nervous about the showcase, now a couple of weeks away. How Jihoon made another song, one that Soonyoung has yet to hear. About Soonyoung being moody because apparently Wonwoo talked about it, and Jihoon, blushing, said he’ll let Soonyoung hear it soon.
Soonyoung pouted, blinking slowly. “What’s it about, anyway?” he asked.
You, Jihoon thought. He blinked several times after, his mind going blank.
Huh?
“Jihoonie? You okay over there?” Soonyoung mumbled.
Jihoon shook his head, turning to pick up his guitar. “I’ll play another song?” he suggested, swallowing around the lump in his throat and the ringing in his ears. “Something soft, or slow. Something you’d love?”
It felt like he was at the back of Soonyoung’s practice room again, the same bubbling, unsettling feeling rushing to fill every available space in his body.
Soonyoung smiled into the camera, cheeks clearly pink even through the shitty internet connection. “Thank you, Jihoonie.”
Jihoon cleared his throat, looking down at the strings of his guitar and giving it a strum to check if it was in tune. He started playing a slow song, Soonyoung lighting up from the other side of the screen when he recognized that it was one of Jihoon’s.
Soonyoung snuggled his cheek into his pillow, hugging a round tiger plushie to his chest. Warmth settled into the spaces around Jihoon’s heart, along with the bubbly feeling he had back at the practice room rushing back into his consciousness.
“What’s that song?” Soonyoung asked, voice heavy with sleep.
“I don’t know yet,” Jihoon said, strumming a couple of other chords with more intent. He played through one set, enough for one verse.
“That sounds pretty,” Soonyoung mumbled.
Jihoon smiled. “Thanks,” he said.
Jihoon watched Soonyoung’s sleeping face, forehead crinkled from the dream he was having, and picked up his pencil.
“Fuck,” Jihoon whispered to himself.
When Jihoon had turned twenty, Seungcheol had bought him a whole bottle of champagne. He had refused to tell Jihoon the price, pouring the golden-colored alcohol into the fancy glasses that Seungcheol had brought from home.
They had woken up the next day with a hangover, Jihoon pulling up the price of the champagne on Naver and bonking Seungcheol on the head with his hardest pillow after counting the zeros that the search results showed him. He later thanked Seungcheol for the gift, but only after making his best friend promise not to buy him expensive alcohol ever again.
“Did you like it though?” Seungcheol had insisted, pouting and fluttering his eyelashes at Jihoon.
“Yes, I did,” Jihoon had answered. “It felt like what happiness would taste like, if that made sense.”
Jihoon did not know if he was just hungover that morning, but Seungcheol was pleased with his description. He even pulled out his phone then, searching up the adjective for champagne bubbles. They found the word effervescent, Jihoon sounding it out slowly, letting the syllables roll off of his tongue.
“You should remember how that feels,” Seungcheol had said, staring up at the ceiling. “That sounds nice.”
“I don’t feel so nice,” Jihoon had complained. “I won’t try that again.”
“Maybe that’s just at the beginning,” Seungcheol had argued back. “When you get used to it, maybe it’s not so bad?”
"No thank you,” Jihoon had said, trying to stand up and failing. He blindly grabbed a pillow from somewhere on his bed, placing it over his face. “I hate feeling like this, what the fuck.”
Seungcheol had sat up, unfairly sober, peering at Jihoon’s covered face. “If you don’t try, it will always be scary,” he said. “Don’t sell yourself short, Jihoonie! You’re stronger than you think! Who knows, maybe you’ll end up finding something good!”
Jihoon had thrown a pillow at Seungcheol then, groaning about how he felt like his skull was splitting itself open from the sunlight streaming through his bedroom window.
Jihoon rarely drank after that, occasionally giving in to Seungcheol’s whining and the music society’s drinking parties. Whenever he had the urge to let go and drink without abandon, he would remember the night he turned twenty—the giddy and uneasy feeling bubbling in his memory enough of a reminder—
Jihoon did not notice the sound his pencil made as it fell right on his keyboard, the single note playing before the writing instrument clattered to the floor. He looked at the lyrics of the song he had just finished, scribbled on the back of the music sheet he had used to write down the chords that would not leave his head.
Jihoon had just finished a song, and fuck he was in love with Kwon Soonyoung.
Jihoon
Cheol
HelpCheol
Hey Jihoonie, it’s Jeonghan. Cheollie’s just
in the shower, are you okay?
I can give the phone to him now if you want?Jihoon
Oh
Hi Jeonghan-hyung
Sorry
It’s not urgent or anything
Oh shit it’s 3AM, I’m sorry, did I wake you?Cheol
Not really…Jihoon
...ohmygod I’m sorryCheol
Hey Ji, it’s me now
Hannie told me to tell you it’s fine
We’re still awake anyway
You okay?
You don’t usually message this lateJihoon
...now that I think about it, it’s not a big deal
sorry, I’m being stupid
Sorry for disturbing youCheol
Hey, it’s fine
Don’t apologize
Hannie already said it but we weren’t sleeping yet, it’s fine
It’s bestie timeJihoon
Please stop saying thatCheol
Shush
Wait I take that back, no shush
What’s going on Jihoonie?
Why did you message me at 3AM?Jihoon
...uh
I just finished writing a songCheol
Are you still at the studio?!Jihoon
No, no!
I’m at home
Uh
I was… thinking about… stuff
And just started writing a song
And I finished it?
And it’s about Soonyoung?
HelpCheol
…….oh
Oh, Jihoonie
I’m so proud of youJihoon
Are you cryingCheol
Yeah he is - Jeonghan
ANYWAY
How are you feeling buddy?Jihoon
It’s like my brain’s on overdrive
Maybe I had too much coffee too but
idk
It felt like a load off my chest
but at the same time I’m so fucking scaredCheol
Jihoonie :(
It’s okay to be scared!!
This isn’t easy at all :(
What do you wanna do about it?
Do you need moral supportJihoon
...I guess?
I guess I just needed to tell someoneCheol
I’ll always listen!! :(
Though can I say something?Jihoon
ShootCheol
I’m grateful you told me
And I’ll always listen!!
But when you’re ready
I think it’s best that you tell Soonyoung about your feelings too :)Jihoon
CheolCheol
Hear me out!
I know you’re panicking, I can see you typing
But the fact that you’re talking to me about this
at 3AM has gotta mean something
Remember when I told you about wanting Hannie to live with me?
You told me I’d know what to do
And I know it’s different
But you gotta trust yourself for this one
Deep breaths, okay?
Just like you told meJihoon
Thanks Cheol
Really needed to hear thatCheol
Love you buddy
You can do this
I’m sure if he ever listened to your song, he’d like it!!Jihoon
Okay that’s way too many steps ahead
One thing at a timeCheol
Right, Jihoon admits that he likes Soonyoung first, got itJihoon
Seungcheol!!Cheol
What! I’m summarizing!Jihoon
…you don’t have to say it like that…..Cheol
What? The truth? Jihoonie it’s fineeeeee
Having feelings is a normal thing
You’ve liked other people before anywayJihoon
………..Cheol
OHJihoon
Yeah, /oh/.Cheol
Ohmygod I’m gonna cryJihoon
I’m gonna ask Jeonghan-hyung for picturesCheol
Shut up
I’m having A MomentJihoon
Okay I’ll leave you to your momentCheol
STOP THREATENING ME >:((((
...It’s working >:c
Take your time to process The Feelings okay?
I still encourage getting to the Telling Soonyoung Your Feelings part :D
But!! Take your time!! :D
Go rest ♡
Are you asleep?
heyyyy :<
Okay Hannie’s scolding me, you should rest, really
Thank you for telling me :c
Love you buddy ♡
Good luck, Jihoon-ah! - from Hannie ♡Jihoon
♡
Jihoon typed out his message three times before pressing Send, and not before Mingyu threatened to not cook dinner for him for the rest of the week. Jihoon admired Mingyu’s patience—he had to watch his roommate pace around the living room before pulling the chef card.
Jihoon
When’s your showcase again?Soonyoung
This Saturday!
Can I bribe you to watch?Jihoon
Haha
No need to bribe me
I wanna watchSoonyoung
…..oh wow now I’m nervousJihoon
lol why
It’s just meSoonyoung
That’s the point lolJihoon
Huh?Soonyoung
nvm!
You can go watch it with Wonwoo!
He said he can reserve seats
Not that a lot of people would watch
I can get you a ticket!Jihoon
Oh, I already bought mine
I asked Wonwoo to help me get oneSoonyoung
…….oh
He didn’t tell me, that traitor
Should I knock on his door, he’s been very loud
with Mingyu this afternoonJihoon
I’d say no
I need my showcase seatmate alive and in one piece.
I wouldn’t know anybody there except youSoonyoung
Thank you Jihoonie :cJihoon
No need to thank me
I wanted to watch and cheer for you :)
If your practice video was anything to go by, you’d be
getting offers even before you get down that stageSoonyoung
ㅋㅋㅋ
I doubt that
But it’s a nice thought to have :(
Thank you for believing in me Jihoonie :<Jihoon
Of course
You made that song your ownSoonyoung
I couldn’t have done it without you!Jihoon
You’ll do great Soonyoung :)Soonyoung
Thank you T________T
I feel so much better
Jihoon sat down heavily on the couch, dropping down sideways to lie down and stare blankly at the TV. Next to him, Mingyu jumped a little in his seat as Gordon Ramsey yelled at a cook on the latest Hell’s Kitchen episode rerun he was watching.
“That wasn’t so bad, right?” Mingyu whispered. Jihoon groaned, stretching a hand out to swat at the general vicinity of Mingyu’s chest but hitting his bicep instead.
Mingyu whined but patted his roommate’s head in comfort, then guided Jihoon’s hand to the bowl of popcorn he was snacking on.
Jihoon
Hey, Wonwoo
Sorry, I know you’re with Mingyu right now
Can I ask you something?Wonwoo
Uh, sure. What is it?Jihoon
Do you know what’s Soonyoung’s favorite flowers are?Wonwoo
Ah :)
I’m sure he’d like anything if it came from you.
But he likes sunflowers a lot :)Jihoon
Thanks
Uh, enjoyWonwoo
……….thank you.
Jihoon
Cheol?Cheol
Yes my bestie what is itJihoon
..........
Where’s that place you ordered the flowers
you got for Jeonghan-hyung again?
Jihoon
Hey
The program said you’re gonna perform soon
Deep breaths
Show them what you’ve shown me
Make the rest of the world proud
Good luck :)
“You’re gonna crush those, relax a little,” Wonwoo whispered from Jihoon’s left. “Unclench. About twenty percent.”
Jihoon gulped, easing his grip on the tissue paper-wrapped bouquet of sunflowers that he had in his hands. Beside them, Mingyu was craning his head over the crowd, looking for their friend.
“I think that’s him,” Mingyu said, pointing at a group of people taking pictures near the entrance of the auditorium. Wonwoo gripped Jihoon’s shoulder briefly before he raised his hand, waving at a rapidly approaching Soonyoung.
“You’re here!!!” Soonyoung exclaimed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. His skin glistened with a faint sheen of sweat and the glow that a performer gets after a great time on stage, looking like he was lit up from within.
Effervescent, Jihoon thought wryly, remembering 3AM writing sessions and the dawning realization that came with the day’s first light, before blinking himself back to the present. Mingyu was chattering about the lighting on the stage while Wonwoo was smiling fondly at his best friend.
Soonyoung was looking right at him.
Jihoon cleared his throat, stepping forward and extending his hand. The head of the sunflowers rested lightly against Soonyoung’s chest. The tissue paper rustled as Soonyoung took it from Jihoon’s hand, their fingers touching in the length of a song’s half beat.
Jihoon felt his heart skip in time, too.
Soonyoung cradled the bouquet in his arms, giving the biggest sunflower a light sniff. “Thank you,” he whispered, looking up to meet Jihoon’s gaze, eyes shiny. “Thank you for coming. I love sunflowers.”
Jihoon allowed himself to smile, the curve of his lips matching the one on Soonyoung’s face. “You were great out there, Soonyoung. Told you you’d be awesome. Thanks for inviting me.”
Soonyoung shook his head.
“Are you busy? Can I treat you to a meal?” Jihoon asked. Behind him, he heard Mingyu’s light gasp, followed by Wonwoo’s gentle shushing.
Soonyoung frowned. “Oh no, the professors made a dinner reservation for all the performers,” he said, actually looking upset. “Maybe I could skip—”
Jihoon shook his head. “Ah, no, it’s okay,” he said, shoulders slumping every second. “Maybe next time, I could wait. I saw some agents taking pictures with you earlier, you really should go.”
Soonyoung bit his lip, and it was taking all of Jihoon’s willpower to not take back what he said. “C-can I meet with you after?” Soonyoung asked, a steely glint in his eyes. “After the dinner, then. I need to tell you something.”
Jihoon gulped. “O-okay. I’ll be at the studio, just message me. I can meet up anywhere.”
Soonyoung nodded, opening his mouth right as a professor called for his name from across the hallway. He responded by reflex, bowing in the older’s direction before turning back to his friends.
Jihoon took another step forward, squeezing Soonyoung’s elbow. “It’s fine. See you later,” he said.
Soonyoung looked at Wonwoo, who smiled back at his friend and gave him a single nod. Soonyoung reached up to pinch Mingyu’s cheek, then reached down to hold Jihoon’s hand on his elbow. He swiped his thumb over the ridges of Jihoon’s knuckles once, twice, three times before he gave it a light squeeze. Jihoon, mouth and throat dry, nodded and gave Soonyoung a little push.
“Later,” Jihoon said. A confirmation. A promise.
Soonyoung waved Jihoon’s bouquet at them before he was running off towards his professors, taking with him the faint scent of sunflowers and more pieces of Jihoon’s heart than the latter would allow himself to admit.
Jihoon had just finished his third round of vacuuming the whole studio when he received Soonyoung’s message.
You’re still at the studio, right?
Jihoon was about to reply, meaning to ask Soonyoung where he wanted to meet, when he received another message.
I’m at the lobby, I’ll be there in a bit, just waiting for the elevator.
Too soon, Soonyoung was ringing the doorbell to Jihoon’s studio. Jihoon wiped his palms down his pants, taking his time to walk and to open the door.
Soonyoung was standing at his doorstep, one hand raised to ring the doorbell a second time.
He still had the sunflower bouquet that Jihoon gave him.
Soonyoung lowered his hand and met Jihoon’s gaze. “Hey,” he said. “I’m here.”
“You’re here,” Jihoon repeated, a beat late. “Come in.”
Jihoon heard Soonyoung follow him into the studio, closing the door behind him and toeing off his shoes at the entrance. He walked in until he was in the middle of the room, turning as Soonyoung entered the small space.
Soonyoung offered him a smile, shuffling closer. His feet were in cute tiger character-themed socks, and he smelled of sweat, charcoal smoke, and his perfume. He shifted the bouquet he had in his arms, the crinkling of plastic and tissue paper loud in the silence of the room.
Jihoon had to remind himself to stop staring, to say something, anything —
“Hi again,” Soonyoung said.
Jihoon cleared his throat. “Uh, h-hi,” he said, feeling his face warm up. “Y-you must be tired, have a seat.”
Soonyoung eased his backpack off his shoulder, setting it down next to Jihoon’s duffel bag by his music equipment.
Jihoon turned to his new-old coffee machine (a hand-me-down coffee capsule machine from Seungcheol, still shiny and functional but handed off to his best friend when Jeonghan moved in with all his artisanal coffee equipment). He held up two mugs, wrists bent towards Soonyoung’s general vicinity. “Want some?”
“Are you okay, Jihoonie?” Soonyoung asked.
Jihoon blinked, turning to see Soonyoung’s head tilted to the side as he met his gaze. “I’m… okay?” he said, his voice making it sound more like a question.
Soonyoung nudged him with his elbow, making Jihoon jump. When did they get so close? “Don’t be a stranger,” Soonyoung chided. “It’s just me.”
It’s not just you, Jihoon thought, choosing not to say the words out loud.
Not yet.
“Sorry,” Jihoon said. “I was just… thinking.”
Soonyoung stayed silent, letting Jihoon speak.
Jihoon offered him a weak smile before turning his back, giving himself a moment to take a deep breath. He heard Soonyoung sigh before he walked towards the couch. He took his time choosing two mugs, listening as Soonyoung sank into his preferred side of the couch, the leather muffling the sounds of his fidgeting as he attempted to hug a pillow while still holding on to his flowers. Jihoon busies himself with the coffee machine, even if he has nothing complicated to do after putting the capsule into the designated slot and pressing the right buttons.
“Chicken!” Soonyoung suddenly exclaimed. Jihoon turned, a coffee mug in each hand, and blinked as Soonyoung pinked and sunk into the couch, hugging the pillow. “Chicken… Uh. Do you… want to order chicken…? Are you hungry...?”
Jihoon stared. “Didn’t you just eat dinner? With your professors?” he asked.
Soonyoung pouted. “I’m still growing!” he protested. “I need sustenance!”
Jihoon laughed, taking a seat next to Soonyoung on the couch before picking up his phone and pulling up a food delivery app. “Fine, you big baby,” he said.
“Besides,” Soonyoung mumbled, his fingers brushing over the sunflower petals. “Got too distracted to eat.”
Jihoon paused, looking up from where he was typing Soonyoung’s go-to order from his favorite taco place. “Oh. Were there agency scouts at the dinner?”
Soonyoung waved a hand. “Well, there’s that too,” he said. “I dunno, I guess I was thinking about meeting up with you after.”
Jihoon felt his ears grow hot. He hoped the light in his studio did not make it obvious how hard he must be blushing right now. “I… I’m sorry?” he managed to say.
Soonyoung giggled. “You’re so cute,” he said, unaware of the effect his words had on Jihoon. “You don’t have to say sorry for that.”
Jihoon frowned. “Stop saying that,” he said, his voice low, almost like a whine.
Soonyoung raised an eyebrow. “What? That you’re not cute?” Jihoon could hear the challenge in his voice. God, he really is a goner, isn’t he? “We’ve talked about this Jihoon. I certainly think you’re attractive. And this may be news to you, but someone out there would definitely fall for your charms.”
Jihoon groaned, covering his face with his hands. “I don’t know how to react when you just… say these things,” he said, gritting his teeth. “Give a guy a warning.”
Soonyoung leaned back. Jihoon could feel the couch cushions settle around his form. He was so close. “Well get used to it,” he said, voice light. Jihoon could hear the promise in the lilt of his words. “I plan to remind you as often as I humanly can. I can set up Google Calendar alerts too. Wonwoo taught me how to use that the other day.”
Jihoon cleared his throat. “Good for you,” he said, voice strangled. He scrolled through the food delivery app to give his hands something to do.
“Did you eat already?” Soonyoung asked.
Jihoon nodded. “Yeah, Mingyu wanted to try the new doughnut shop near the auditorium,” he said.
“Was that before or after the showcase?” Soonyoung asked, eyes narrowing as he leaned in, his face a few inches away from Jihoon.
Jihoon started, then pushed Soonyoung away by the forehead, the pad of his index finger gentle against Soonyoung’s sweat-flushed skin. “They insisted I eat, so it was before and after,” Jihoon clarified, feeling the need to reassure Soonyoung and shoo away the worried pout off his face.
He watched as the pout melted away to a satisfied smile, a corner of Soonyoung’s mouth lifting for a quick moment. Soonyoung’s eyes were warm as they looked back at Jihoon, like a reassurance, like how Jihoon feels when he gets home to his warm bed after a long day at the studio.
When did he start cataloging Soonyoung’s expressions, Jihoon wondered.
When did he start noticing?
“I asked Wonwoo where you guys were sitting,” Soonyoung said. “Well I couldn’t really see you well because of the lights, but... I made sure to look in your direction.”
“I saw you look,” Jihoon said. “I… we cheered really loud, an ahjumma yelled at us after.”
Soonyoung chuckled. “Oh no,” he said. “Sorry for laughing, that sounded funny.”
Jihoon cracked a smile. “It was pretty scary when it was happening. Mingyu looked like he was gonna cry.”
Soonyoung made a noise of sympathy. “Poor baby,” he said.
“Wonwoo helped calm him down, he’ll live,” Jihoon said. “I got him an extra doughnut from the shop after the show.”
Soonyoung took a sip of his coffee, and Jihoon looked at how the studio lights reflected on the coffee in his mug. They sat together, sipping from mugs that Soonyoung had helped Jihoon pick out, on the couch where they had listened to Jihoon’s music over the months since they first met. Soonyoung took another sip, loud in the room’s silence, before setting his mug down on the coffee table, then turned to Jihoon. “Thanks for these,” he said. “I’m… I’m really happy you gave me flowers.”
Jihoon took a sip from his now lukewarm coffee. “I’m glad you liked it,” he said, voice shaking. He cleared his throat, setting down his mug next to Soonyoung’s on the coffee table, so close that the mugs clinked together at the places where their lips touched on the ceramic. Jihoon blushed, hand retreating to his lap, still fidgety.
“You know, I never got flowers before,” Soonyoung mused, touching the petals of one sunflower. “When I graduated from high school, we were… we weren’t really well-off. But my older sister got us good quality pork belly. Jeju black pork. It was a treat, said she saved a little bit from her first salary. She made me my favorite dish as a graduation gift, with the meat arranged in the hotpot like a pretty bouquet. It was the best meal of my life.”
Jihoon watched as Soonyoung cradled the bouquet closer to his chest.
“My other friends always get bouquets after their showcases. We got one for our dance society president last year, for his senior showcase. It was a bunch of lilies. I always thought they were pretty,” Soonyoung said. “I whined to Wonwoo one time. Said I wanted to get one too, even just one sunflower.”
Soonyoung looked up to meet Jihoon’s gaze. Jihoon felt himself hold his breath.
“He gave me a tiger plushie,” Soonyoung recalled with a laugh, angling a smile at Jihoon’s direction after. It was soft, one of Jihoon’s favorites because it made Soonyoung’s eyes shine with just the right light. “Said I should get flowers from a person I like.”
Jihoon sat perfectly still. Soonyoung raised the bouquet to his face, a smile barely hidden behind the sunflower petals.
“So,” Soonyoung said, scratching at his nose. “That’s me.”
Jihoon looked down, fidgeting, hands finding purchase on the pillow he had pulled onto his own lap sometime in their conversation.
Soonyoung laughed, the sound shaky in the silence of the studio. He nudged one of Jihoon’s slippered feet with the toe of his tiger sock-covered foot, leaving it pressed gently to Jihoon’s bare ankle. “Jihoonie,” he said.
Jihoon cleared his throat. “Did you read the card?”
Soonyoung blinked. “What card?”
Jihoon took a deep breath, then leaned forward to reach into the bouquet in Soonyoung’s arms. Nestled in between a bunch of baby’s breath and the stalk of the biggest sunflower was a small, cream-colored envelope with Soonyoung’s name on the back. He handed it over to Soonyoung, who took the envelope with both hands.
“Can… can I open it?” Soonyoung asked.
Jihoon nodded, not trusting his voice to be steady at the moment. He watched as Soonyoung ran a fingernail under the sealed flap to open the envelope, pulling out the matching cream cardstock that Mingyu had helped Jihoon pick from the store.
Jihoon had planned to give the bouquet when he invited Soonyoung for dinner. But then he saw Soonyoung’s smiling face as he approached them, still glowing after his performance, that Jihoon’s arms moved on autopilot
Soonyoung’s hands shook, and Jihoon watched as he became perfectly still, reading the words that Jihoon had written with a surprisingly steady hand.
Dear Soonyoung,
Thank you for letting me feel how every love song should be written.
Jihoon
The tissue wrapped around the sunflower bouquet was the only thing making the sound in the room when Soonyoung finally moved. He placed the sunflowers gently on the coffee table and then turned towards Jihoon, the card still in his hands.
“Jihoonie…” Soonyoung said. He was looking down at his hands, head bowed. His body was a perfect picture of The Thinker, limbs made of unmoving stone. Jihoon had always admired how Soonyoung had perfect control of his body, but then he noticed one thing.
His voice was shaking.
The way he was unconsciously chewing on his lip. The way his Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. The way his cheeks were a warm shade of red, the blush making itself known on Soonyoung’s entire face and neck. The way Soonyoung’s chest rose and fell.
Those things, Jihoon understood.
Jihoon opened his mouth and started talking.
“You… you’re a force of nature, Kwon Soonyoung.”
Soonyoung looked up, eyes brimming with unshed tears.
Jihoon cleared his throat and took a moment to let himself breathe.
“Hansol told me that he thought the way we met was cute, just like the movies,” Jihoon began. Soonyoung giggled, a short three-note laugh that made Jihoon brave enough to continue. “I didn’t want to think too much about it, but then our roommates are dating each other and you started showing up in my life with frightening regularity.”
“It’s not that you were scary… well okay, that night you kind of were,” Jihoon clarified. Soonyoung blushed, biting his lip and looking very interested in counting the baby’s breath flowers used in the bouquet. “But the more we talked, the more I got to know you… it kinda felt like being caught in the eye of a hurricane. I don’t understand what’s happening but… but I was sure that when I’m with you it’s still scary. And I don’t know why, but in the back of my mind… somehow I knew that it’s gonna be alright in the end.”
“That night… you literally fell in front of me. Like it was the universe’s idea that maybe it would be funny that you would show up in my life the way we always see it happen in movies. It was scary, really, the way we just started talking to each other, and how it hasn’t stopped. So much that I found myself imagining what it would be like to talk to you first thing in the morning, talk to you as we fall asleep. And then it just… happened. And I don’t have to imagine that anymore. So I began imagining… more. And that scared me. But the thing is… even then, I didn’t stop.”
Soonyoung raised the bouquet so it was covering his face, but not enough to hide the smile on his lips, small and warm. “You know, for someone who keeps saying they’re bad at talking, you have a lot of words in you today.”
The laugh that bubbled from Jihoon’s chest was a cocktail of several things. Mostly nerves, the same ones that he had when he was buying the little bouquet of sunflowers to give to Soonyoung. Also, that unknown feeling that he had refused to name, right until he wrote it down on the card. The card that Soonyoung was now slowly turning around in his hands.
“It’s all you,” Jihoon accused merrily, smiling wide. “You smile and then my heart keeps wanting to jump out of my throat so… words. Lots of them.”
Soonyoung was turning increasingly red, a small smile still on his lips as he kept on staring at the card Jihoon gave him. “Not that I’m complaining,” he said. He looked at Jihoon then, eyes shining, tilting his head. “Go on, I like hearing your feelings.”
Jihoon remembered Seungcheol’s message from that one 3AM exchange. I still encourage getting to the Telling Soonyoung Your Feelings part, with a smiley face at the end, wide and encouraging. He cleared his throat. “About that, actually…” he began. “I… I wrote something. About… you. For you.”
He stood up and went to his desktop, waking up his computer from sleep mode and typing in his password. He got to the folder of his finished songs, then chose one that he ran past Mingyu and Seungcheol. The song that had wanted to crawl out of his ribcage and into a music scale, waiting for the words that he would write to it.
And so he did.
Do you recognize this?
There's a spring in my step as I walk through the door
Do you know it at all
My feet are lighter than before
Jihoon was not much of a dancer, at least not the way Soonyoung was. Watching Soonyoung that day in the practice room, he started understanding something. The fear of recognizing something that has been there all along.
And I can feel the change in me
I'm dancing with my bare feet on the ground
I've never ever felt this free, oh
I feel it inside
It's pounding in my chest
It's crawling out of every open wound on my flesh
Watching the video Soonyoung sent him while making the dance to Jihoon’s song. Watching the soundwaves on his computer screen light up as he played this song the first time, all after watching Soonyoung move to the beats that he had carved out in his head.
What is this feeling?
What is this feeling?
What is this feeling?
Could this be, oh
Effervescent, in the flesh.
Silence.
Jihoon cleared his throat. “I have one more…”
“There’s more?” Soonyoung croaked out, clearing his throat with an embarrassed cough.
Jihoon laughed, raising a hand to scratch his nose and to hide the smile on his lips behind a shaking hand. “Well, it’s kinda your fault,” he said. “You inspired these songs.”
Soonyoung groaned and covered his face with his hands as he let out a sound that was half a laugh and half a sob, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands before looking back at Jihoon and nodding once, eyes shiny with unshed tears.
Jihoon took a deep breath, then pressed Play.
I was quietly looking at you and got to thinking
It’s so amazing that you’re in front of me right now
I wonder what coincidences keep happening
For you to be brought to me right here
Jihoon turned his back to his monitor, sitting at his desk and crossing his arms over his chest. He watched as Soonyoung quickly wiped his eyes, looking up at Jihoon from across the room.
When we first met
If I was a little late
We might be different right now
Out of the endless possibilities
Only one miracle
Has happened before our eyes
So let’s be in love even more
So we won’t lose this miracle
You, You are my
Miracle oh Miracle
So precious
You, You are my
Miracle oh Miracle
I will protect you
A tear fell from Soonyoung’s right eye, too fast for him to wipe away. He picked up the sunflower bouquet from his lap, placing it down gently on the coffee table before covering his face with his hands.
Even if I shed tears for no reason sometimes
Please ignore it
Because everything about you
Touches my heart to the point where I can’t handle it
On the day we first met
If the skies were gray
Would I have not recognized your pretty smile
And just pass you by?
Soonyoung’s fists are balled up in his lap, reaching up once in a while to wipe away the tears from his eyes. Jihoon’s fists gripped at the edge of his desk, willing himself to stay put, to let Soonyoung listen to the song. Jihoon’s, but also Soonyoung’s song too.
Out of the endless possibilities
Only one miracle
Has happened before our eyes
So let’s be in love even more
So we won’t lose this miracle
Because of you, each day is beautiful
Sometimes, I’m afraid it’ll all vanish
But each time I think that
You look at me and smile
You’re my miracle, it’s you
Jihoon stood up from where he was resting against his desk, slowly making his way to where Soonyoung was sitting on the couch. He paused in front of Soonyoung, his shadow draping itself around Soonyoung’s tightly curled up form.
Out of the endless possibilities
Even if we miss each other
It’s alright, I’ll find you
I will make a miracle happen
You, You are my
Miracle oh Miracle
So precious
You, You are my
Miracle oh Miracle
I will protect you
Miracle oh Miracle
The song quieted down to the instruments, Jihoon’s voice fading away with the last few piano notes. Jihoon glanced behind his shoulder, catching as the track stopped playing. He turned around to look at Soonyoung.
Soonyoung sniffled, swiping the back of his hand over his closed eyes. A tear escaped. Jihoon got to it first, a hand reaching out to wipe it away with a thumb. A moment of hesitation before Jihoon allowed himself to swipe his thumb over Soonyoung’s cheekbone. Soonyoung drew a breath, feeling Jihoon’s hands tremble on his skin.
There were moments when even silence became too loud for Jihoon to let himself drown in. Before, the silence was the answer he was used to hearing. It helped him find the questions he wanted to ask, and to write the answers he thought that best suited him. Whenever this happened, it was like time was at a standstill. A stalemate. Like the rest of the world was moving at a faster pace than he was. Like he was wading waist deep in quicksand, and every note and word he wrote were a stepladder towards salvation.
Jihoon kneeled on the floor in front of Soonyoung, cautiously resting his chin on Soonyoung’s knees. “Soonyoung-ah,” he called out softly.
The leather of Jihoon’s couch squeaked as Soonyoung shifted his weight. “Can I…” Soonyoung began, clearing his throat before trying again. “I’m not… I’m not as good with words like you are but… but can I… can I reply to that?”
Jihoon nodded, his chin brushing against Soonyoung’s knees.
There was beauty in the stillness of Soonyoung’s body, a distant part of Jihoon’s brain helpfully supplied. How the warmth of his body seeped through the thin fabric of the pants he was wearing tonight. Of the utter gentleness as he finally moved, ever so gently, reaching out to brush a thumb across Jihoon’s cheek, once, twice. Of how he held his breath as he let the same thumb travel slowly down Jihoon’s cheek. Of how he hesitated, pausing at the corner of Jihoon’s mouth, before slowly, slowly tracing the outline of Jihoon’s lips.
Of the rush of air, the rest of the world moved in slow motion as the rest of Soonyoung sprang into action.
Soonyoung surged forward, Jihoon rising up to his knees to meet Soonyoung halfway. Their lips found each other a breath after, things clicking into place like the right lyrics and the melody of a song meeting for the first time.
An introduction, and then, recognition.
So this is what it was like. This is where you’ve been all this time.
An inhale, as Jihoon’s hands moved from Soonyoung’s knees to skim over his face. A gasp, as Jihoon’s fingers found themselves a home to rest, locked loosely over the nape of Soonyoung’s neck. An exhale, shaky and drawn out, as Soonyoung’s hands cradled Jihoon’s jaw, the pads of his fingers tracing the outline of Jihoon’s earlobe.
“Hi,” Soonyoung greeted. Jihoon smiled, turning his head to kiss the palm of Soonyoung’s hand.
“Want some ramen?” Jihoon said. His heart expanded as Soonyoung laughed in response.
"I thought you’d never ask.”
One of the selling points that the real estate agent gave Jihoon when he was looking for apartments was how this unit had a great view. The windows were to the east, so they got a lot of natural light in the morning.
Sunlight filtered through Jihoon’s curtains, right at his face. He blinked his sleepiness away, finding his phone under his pillow. He squinted at the time, rubbing at his face and running a hand through his hair. He pulled the covers off, wincing as his feet made contact with the cold floor. He found his slippers under the pants he took off last night before shuffling out of his room, making sure to close the door behind him gently.
His lower back hurts, and it felt like his legs did not want to cooperate with the rest of his body, but he was in the mood to make breakfast.
He opened the refrigerator… to find nothing but mostly empty space, a few sad-looking containers of banchan at the bottom shelf, and a new six-pack of beer.
Oh right, they were supposed to go grocery shopping today. Mingyu even stuck the grocery list to the refrigerator door with a dog-shaped magnet.
Instant noodles it is, then.
The pot was on the drying rack, like where they normally leave it when they were too lazy to put away the dishes. He opened the faucet, watching the flow of water fill the pot until it was at the right level. The rest of the apartment was quiet as it was in this hour, the sounds of the vacuum not there to disturb the peace because its owner was still asleep.
It was just a normal day for the rest of the world, and Jihoon could not have felt more different.
He rummaged through the cupboards, thankful that they always had emergency packs of ramen in the apartment at all times (Mingyu gets the midnight munchies a lot during exam weeks, and sometimes Jihoon could not be bothered to cook anything more complicated). He stood on his toes to reach for the pack of instant bibimmyeon in the cupboard, hissing as pain shot up his lower back.
He heard a bedroom door open, a muffled curse, and light shuffling footsteps as someone walked into the dining area.
Jihoon set the bibimmyeon pack on the kitchen counter, turning to face Soonyoung.
A very shirtless Soonyoung.
Soonyoung raised his hand slowly, wiggling his fingers for a feeble attempt at a hello.
Jihoon mirrored the action, oven mitten-wearing hand waving back at Soonyoung.
“Hi…” Soonyoung said, voice gravelly in the early morning.
Jihoon removed the oven mitt he was wearing and picked up two mugs, raising them at Soonyoung’s direction as a question. “Want some?”
Soonyoung smiled. “Yes please.”
The rest of the apartment was quiet as Jihoon continued cooking, checking to see if the bibimmyeon noodles were cooked well, getting ice for their coffee, and finding some milk for Soonyoung’s. He waved away Soonyoung’s offer to help and pointed to the dining table. Soonyoung settled on watching Jihoon prepare their breakfast from the counter, resting his elbows on the stone counter as Jihoon mixed the sauce for the instant noodles. They talked while Jihoon cooked, voices soft, Soonyoung lighting up when Jihoon talked about his mother’s kimchi and his promise to get Soonyoung a container next time. Jihoon blushed when he saw the tiny bruise blooming on Soonyoung’s collarbone. Soonyoung followed his line of sight, raising his mug to a toast in Jihoon’s direction.
“Sorry, we were supposed to go get groceries today,” Jihoon said when he was done, placing the bowl of noodles in front of Soonyoung at the dining table. “I know it’s nothing like Mingyu’s breakfasts…”
Soonyoung shook his head. “It’s fine,” he said, coughing to hide his face. “...it’s not like you were expecting me to come over.”
Jihoon colored, picking up his own mug to cover the blush lighting up his face. “...right. Yeah. About that.”
Soonyoung sighed, setting down his chopsticks and reaching across the table to hold Jihoon’s wrist. “Come here,” he said.
Jihoon stood up, walking to Soonyoung’s side of the table. Soonyoung did not let go of his wrist, turning slowly in his chair until Jihoon was standing in the space between Soonyoung’s legs. Jihoon raised his free hand to brush his fingers through Soonyoung’s bed hair, a tangled mess from last night’s activities.
“How are you feeling?” Jihoon murmured. He rubbed gentle circles down Soonyoung’s back, wincing as the latter groaned when Jihoon’s hands went lower.
“Mostly embarrassed,” Soonyoung whispered, his face nuzzling into Jihoon’s shoulder. Jihoon could feel the way Soonyoung’s eyelashes flutter against the fabric of his shirt.
Jihoon turned his head, kissing the crown of Soonyoung’s head. “It’s just me,” he said. “No use getting shy.”
Soonyoung pulled back to look at Jihoon properly, pouting. “That’s the point! How many times do I have to tell you that it’s not just you,” he said. “I like you! Of course I’m shy!”
“...I have to get used to that, huh,” Jihoon mused.
Soonyoung grinned. “Yeah, you better,” he said, a promise hidden in his words as he wrapped his arms around Jihoon’s waist, pulling him closer.
Jihoon smiled, holding Soonyoung’s face with both hands and kissing him softly. Soonyoung giggled, kissing back before pulling away once more.
“Nooooo, I have morning breath,” Soonyoung whined. “And I stink, I haven’t showered since yesterday.”
“Then take a shower,” Jihoon replied with a laugh. There was a lightness in his chest, like he woke up on the right side of the bed because Soonyoung was right there on the other side. “But later, eat breakfast first.”
Soonyoung laughed, giving Jihoon’s shoulder a final peck right as Mingyu stumbled into the dining area.
Mingyu rubbed at his eyes, about halfway between asleep and awake. “Good morni—Soonyoung-hyung?”
Jihoon squeezed Soonyoung’s shoulder gently and felt his arms loosen around his waist. He smiled at his confused roommate and went back to the kitchen, feeling Mingyu’s eyes following him.
“Morning, Gyu!” Soonyoung said, raising his mug and making the ice inside clink against the ceramic.
"Why aren’t you wearing a shirt?” Mingyu asked, blinking at Soonyoung’s state of undress.
“Because I took it off, Mingyu-yah,” Soonyoung said.
“Why did you take your shirt off…” Mingyu asked, trailing off. Soonyoung raised his mug slowly, taking a sip of coffee, patient as he waited for Mingyu’s expression to change. “Oh… Oh.”
Jihoon shook his head as Soonyoung laughed at the sight of Mingyu wordlessly pointing at the both of them with his mouth wide open, looking very much awake. “Hey Mingyu,” Jihoon said, raising the pot of noodles slightly. “Breakfast?”
There is a guy sitting in Jihoon’s favorite spot at the cafe.
He has yet to notice Jihoon’s presence, attention focused on the phone he had in his hands. Jihoon sighs, then pulls out his own phone.
♡
Jihoonie ♡
I’m at the cafe!
Oh, it’s Mingyu’s shift!
Should I ask if he baked cookies?Jihoon
He said he’s gonna help bake brownies today
Stop smooching food off him♡
Why should I reject free food?
I’m a broke college student!
But okay
I’ll just smooch you instead ♡Jihoon
………………….
I walked into that one
Why did I allow you and Seungcheol to meet♡
Because you love me ♡
And Seungcheol-hyung likes me
We’re gym buddies now!Jihoon
I may have several regrets
Don’t listen to him, he’ll corrupt you♡
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
I thought you said you liked that :cJihoon
That was
A moment of weakness♡
Good to know 8D
Seriously though, want anything?
I can order for you
You like their muffins rightJihoon
Oh
Yeah
Because you got them for me that time♡
KJDAHKJHADJDS
JIHOONIEJihoon
What♡
WARN A GUY!!!!!Jihoon
:)♡
Why is that hot
It’s just a smiley face!!!
You’ve corrupted me :(
Are you still on the way :(
I wanna smooch your cute face already :(((((((((((
The smile on Jihoon’s face remains as he looks up, knocking on the glass and startling the guy seated at the opposite side.
Soonyoung whirls around on the stool, a hand to his chest, and Jihoon has to admire Soonyoung’s balance as he peers out of the glass wall. Jihoon grins, waving before pressing his palm flat on the cafe’s window. He watches as Soonyoung grins back, the hand he previously had over his heart now making its way to the window and covering Jihoon’s from the other side of the glass. Jihoon smiles, face warm even in the autumn chill settling into his bones, as he knocks on the glass door and points to the cafe entrance. He waits for Soonyoung to nod before he walks, giving a quick bow to the couple walking their dog that he passes before opening the door, the bell announcing his arrival.
“Hey,” Jihoon greets when he makes his way into the cafe. “I was promised smooches.”
Soonyoung blinks then looks around the crowded cafe. “Really? Here?” he asks. The shock on his face is adorable, Jihoon thinks. “People will see?”
Jihoon stares. “I was definitely thinking of a peck. A greeting kiss? Maybe a hug too if you’re feeling up to it?” he says, watching Soonyoung’s mouth fall open and his whole face redden. “No?”
Soonyoung shakes his head quickly, clambering down from his seat and opening his arms wide. “Nope, yeah a hug sounds real nice right now,” he says. He tilts his head and grins at Jihoon. “Come here.”
“Don’t tell me what to do,” Jihoon grumbles as he walks into the circle of Soonyoung’s arms.
Soonyoung was warm from sitting in the sunlight, keeping Jihoon’s favorite seat safe. It was tradition, Soonyoung had argued. Jihoon always had to force himself to not blush whenever he found Soonyoung sitting on the barstool, waiting for him at the place they first met.
Jihoon steps back, smiling up at Soonyoung. “Sorry, got caught up at the studio,” he says. “Hansol wanted me to listen to a song he made.”
“It’s fine, it’s Hansollie after all,” Soonyoung replies. “Was it for class?”
Jihoon shakes his head. “Personal project,” he says, still smiling. “Won’t say for who or what. Sounds great though. Different from what he usually does.”
“Hey, has anyone told you you look like a manta ray when you smile?” Soonyoung says.
“Your friend Junhui did when you introduced me,” Jihoon says, grimacing. “What was that supposed to mean? Seungcheol wouldn’t stop sending me NatGeo clips for a week when I told him.”
“No, it’s a compliment!” Soonyoung insists, pulling out his phone and showing Jihoon pictures. He looks down at his screen and begins cooing. “Look at them! They’re so cute.”
“Why do you have those saved?” Jihoon asks.
Soonyoung blinks. “I… I look at them when I miss you?”
Jihoon blinks. “...what?”
Soonyoung clears his throat, pocketing his phone. “I… I didn’t know how to ask for pictures,” he says. “I got Mingyu to send me some pictures of you when you were home but he said he got scared you’ll find out.”
Jihoon lightly pinches Soonyoung’s side, making the latter jump and hold up his hands in surrender. “Just… ask me next time,” he says. “I’ll send you selfies. Even when you don’t ask for them.”
Soonyoung smiles. Jihoon wonders if the way his heartbeat quickens in response would get old.
Soonyoung leans down, giving Jihoon’s cheek a kiss. “Thank you,” he says, hopping down the stool. “I’ll go order for us.”
Jihoon decides that the feelings he has are something he would not mind having for a long time.
He watches as Soonyoung leans against the counter, chatting with Seokmin and Mingyu as they prepare his order, waving at his roommate when Soonyoung points at him. Jihoon pulls out his phone, writing down a few lines—something about the surprise in the familiarity of meeting a first love at different times, with a few chord progression variations he could play around with once he’s in front of his computer. A few moments later he is helping Soonyoung with his tray, giving his boyfriend a kiss on the cheek. Soonyoung squawks in surprise, blushing with his whole face. Mingyu looks over the espresso machine, leering in their direction when he finds the source of the noise.
Jihoon pats the stool next to him, smiling at Soonyoung. “Saved you a seat.”