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The peacock blue blindfold stands out against Charles’s alabaster skin. The satin material glints under the light of the master bedroom. All these luxuries still make Erik nervous; he is well aware of the fragility of comfort and how quickly kindness can be taken away. He is only permitted to live amongst grandeur because Charles allows it. And even though the telepath is always quick to deny it and assure Erik that no matter what their future holds, he is always welcome at Westchester and to make it his home too. Erik knows he’ll never fully believe him.
But for once, it is not the simple pleasures that have Erik’s stomach twisted in knots. No, that is thanks to the small knife he has floating next to him. The knife that he is expected to glide along Charles’s skin until his lover is squirming and panting beneath him. Until Erik makes his lover cum all over himself and then beg for more.
It wouldn’t surprise anyone to know that Charles Xavier has taken more than his fair share of lovers to bed, and in doing so has collected a great number of kinks. Erik’s relationship with pleasure differs greatly from his hedonistic beau, but then again, he guesses anyone who had spent time in Auschwitz would feel similarly. His sexual experiences have been few and far between, always chasing after his next target and without the luxury of developing long-term relationships. Well, until Charles...Charles is something Erik had never encountered before.
Their relationship has been going on for nearly 4 months now and Erik has experienced a great many things he thought impossible. Long nights spent in bed, bringing each other leisurely to release with plenty of kisses and even giggles. Waking up still wrapped in Charles’s arms and getting to bask in the glow. Having Charles learn what makes Erik moan and using it every chance he got to ensure Erik saw stars night after night. Sex with Charles is wonderful. Which is why it was so important to Erik for him to indulge Charles’s kinks as well.
Up until now, it had gone fairly well. He had no issue telling Charles what to do or making him cum so many times he nearly passed out from pleasure. That was good for both of them. Hell, he was even able to spank Charles after he misbehaved during their last scene; that brought about nothing but a throbbing erection and an urge to cover Charles’s reddened arse in his cum (a desire Charles was more than happy to accommodate).
It had been a passing comment from Charles that had started all of this. The couple had gone out on a day trip to speak with another mutant and afterward, they stopped at a bar for a drink. There had been a young woman standing at the end of the bar who refused to take her eyes off Charles. Erik had passed it off as casual interest but with a blush, Charles had admitted that the pair knew each other...intimately.
“Careful Liebling, she looks like she wants another taste,” Erik chuckled.
“Well, she’ll have to settle for being disappointed then, won’t she?” Charles smiled conspiratorially at Erik.
Erik appraised the hungry look in her eyes.
“The tasting was supposed to be a metaphor, but Jesus she looks like she wants to eat you, Charles. Even if you weren’t mine, I still wouldn’t want you going off with her.”
“She wouldn’t eat me, Erik, that wasn’t her thing. It always stopped with a bit of light carving...” Charles joked.
Erik’s eyes narrowed.
“You let her cut you, Charles?”
The telepath straightened up. He attempted to keep his body language neutral, but Erik noted Charles’s eyes remained firmly on the bar.
“I didn’t ‘let’ her do anything. I wanted it, darling.”
“Why?” Erik pressed.
“It felt good,” the brunette shrugged. “Made me make a terrible mess over myself and I always wound up asking for more.”
A heavy pit formed in Erik’s stomach.
“...And do you still want that now?”
“No, of course not, darling,” Charles replied far too quickly.
Erik quirked a brow.
“You don’t like it anymore or you just won’t ask for it?”
Charles sighed deeply.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea. I love what we’ve done and I’m completely satisfied with our sex life.”
“But you still like pain.”
“There are other forms of pain, Erik. I don’t need those particular activities to enjoy myself.”
“But you enjoyed them with her,” Erik argued.
“There are other things I enjoyed with her that we aren't doing as well. It really isn’t a big deal.”
“Like what?” Erik demanded.
“Vaginal penetration for one.”
Erik snorted.
“Touché, Charles.”
“What I mean is, darling, that every relationship is different. There are things we do together that I have no interest in doing with her, so it doesn’t matter that our night time activities are different.”
Erik threw another glance at the woman. A young blonde waif of a thing. Yes, it was easy to see why Charles was comfortable with her holding a knife. Erik was a killer. Why should Charles trust him like that? Erik wouldn’t deny that the knowledge Charles would never ask that of him comforted him, but, that it was born out of fear? That hurt a little.
“I understand, liebling.” Charles smiled as Erik took his hand, “but I want for you to know that I would never betray your trust in a situation like that. I care about you more than I thought I was ever capable of. I couldn’t really hurt you, Charles. I hope I’m able to show you that one day.”
The smile dropped from Charles’s face at his lover’s words.
“Oh Erik,” the Englishman cooed. “Darling, it’s nothing like that. I trust you with my life. To be quite frank, the idea of you having that much power over me is more than a little delicious.”
“Then why...”
Charles brought his other hand to rest over the number tattooed on Erik’s forearm. His blood ran cold.
“Don’t patronise me, Charles!” Erik snapped. “You of all people should know I don’t want or expect it.”
“I would never darling, I just didn’t think it would be a kind of play that interested you,” Charles explained gently.
It didn’t. The idea of cutting Charles made Erik want to throw up. But he wasn’t letting those goose-stepping bustards take anything more from him.
“Well, you’re wrong.”
“I don’t have to use my powers to know this makes you uneasy...”
“Don’t you dare read my mind! You have no right. I have my autonomy and I can make my own decisions,” Erik hissed.
“Of course, darling. I apologise, it was never my intention to make you feel that way. I just don’t want you to do something that makes you uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine, Charles...it sounds fun.”
Which is how Erik found himself in his current situation. His palms are slick with sweat as the knife dangles next to him. Charles is spread out on the king-sized bed, completely nude except for the blindfold. The blindfold had been Erik’s idea, if Charles couldn’t see, then if everything got too much Erik could just close his eyes and guide with his powers. It obviously wasn’t ideal, but Erik was going to give this to Charles even if it killed him. And with the current hammering in his chest that might just happen.
Charles was forbidden from reading Erik’s thoughts during play, if he felt even a caress from the telepath in his mind then the game shut down immediately. That didn’t mean Erik wasn’t on high alert about Charles in his mind, other times it just spoiled the surprise for Charles but this time he needed to keep his feelings a secret from the younger man.
“Please Erik, won’t you touch me? I need you so badly,” Charles moans from the bed.
Erik screws his eyes shut. It does help that Charles is enthusiastic, but he needs more time to work himself up to actually doing this.
“I know it’s going to feel so good. You always take the best care of me,” the telepath continues.
“Coming, Liebling...just enjoying the view.”
Erik steels himself and approaches the bed. The soothe of the metal next to him calms his nerves for a moment. But as soon as the knife moves towards
Charles's pale skin all he can see are flashes from his past...
The screams from the ‘medical’ ward (more like torture chamber) and the whispers of ‘experiments' that had Erik terrified every night.
He couldn’t do this.
Hans coming back missing fingers and toes after complaining about a cough.
Please Charles make it stop.
Nazi guards threatening to cut Greta if she didn’t open her legs for them.
No... no...no...no...NO!
“Red,” Erik whispers and the knife drops on the floor.
Suddenly the room is shaking and everything is wet. It takes Erik a few moments to realise he’s crying. Warm arms envelop him, and he feels Charles’s breath by his ear.
“It’s okay darling,” Charles whispers. “Everything is going to be okay. You’re safe, you’re with me in Westchester and I love you so very much. Never going to let anyone hurt you again."
“I’m sorry...”
“None of that. You have nothing to apologise for. Do you want to sit on the bed or the couch?”
Erik gestures towards the couch and Charles brings the pair to settle down onto the comfy cushions.
“Do you want the blanket and snacks, or do you want to cuddle for a bit longer?”
“I can get them...” Erik goes to stand but Charles gently moves him back to the couch.
“You stay there, darling. I’m looking after you.”
Erik wants to argue but his legs are starting to feel really tired and his arms are a little shaky. He nods his assent and Charles quickly gathers the supply from the other side of the room. Once they’re wrapped up again, Erik lays his head on Charles’s shoulder and the telepath feeds him tiny squares of chocolate. Everything starts to feel a little warmer.
“This is nice,” he whispers and snuggles into Charles’s neck.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“I just kept...remembering.”
“I’m sorry, love. I know this meant a lot to you, but I want to make sure you know that I’m not disappointed or angry with you.”
“But you like this...I’m probably never going to be able to give you this.”
“And that’s okay. Erik, darling, I only enjoyed this in the past because my partner also wanted it. I get no pleasure from participating in activities that cause my partner’s genuine distress.”
“You’re not mad?”
“Never. Limits are healthy and important and I’m so proud of you for stopping before it went too far. I know that can’t have been easy.”
The ice in his chest started melting from his lover’s kind words. Charles wasn’t disappointed, Erik didn’t have to cut Charles. Ever. They could just do things that felt good. And there were so many things he did with Charles that made Erik’s body sing...
“Thank you.”
Charles places a kiss to the older man’s forehead.
“Did you mean it?” Erik asks.
“What?”
“That you love me?”
“Ah.” Charles smiles, “yes, my darling. I love you; I love you so very much and I’m sorry you had to hear it for the first time when I was naked.”
“Lucky for you I’m quite partial to you in that particular outfit.”
Charles laughs and drops another kiss to Erik’s forehead.
“Well, perhaps you can enjoy that later, when you're feeling a bit better?”
Erik nods.
“I think I do too,” Erik whispers. “I don’t have much experience with this specific emotion, but I know I haven’t felt this strongly for someone since...since my mother.”
The metal-bender hides his face in Charles’s shoulder, as if what he’s just said is a terrible secret. The telepath strokes Erik’s head and tries to soothe his love.
“I know, darling. There’s no rush, we have all the time in the world. I just want to be with you, for as long as you’ll have me.”
“Forever.”
“Forever,” Charles agrees.
The couple sit, curled up on the couch long past Erik’s return to equilibrium. Simply enjoying each other’s company. The promise hanging in the air between them. Whatever the future throws at them, they’d face it together. Forever.
The End