Chapter Text
Spencer Reid had a notebook, he took it with him everywhere and he never let anyone read it. His teammates had tried to get him to tell them its contents to no avail. In this notebook he wrote down every time someone tells him to shut up, he had started doing this when he was younger as a way to learn when it was appropriate to speak and when it wasn't. Now he mostly does it out of habit. When he was younger the number grew exponentially every day. But when he joined the BAU and gained a family who loved him and accepted him for who he was, the number slowed down a bit. This was nice but it meant it hurt a lot more when one of his family members told him to stop talking.
The team was working a particularly bad case in Vegas, a case that unbenounced to the team was hitting a bit close to home for Reid. The victims were 9-17 year old boys who looked exactly like he did when he was their age, they were smart young boys who deserved better than the fate they got. They were kidnapped and tortured for 24 hours before getting shot in the head and left outside tied to a light post. The whole team had flown down to Vegas for this case and Garcia was not excited to be working with a system that wasn't her own. The team very quickly came to the conclusion that the Unsub was targeting the boys because they looked like someone from his past. A brother or friend someone who had in the Unsubs eyes wronged him.
The BAU were always more tense when the case involved kids so it came as no surprise to Reid that it got taken out on him. He had finished the geographic profile an hour ago and went to try and help Morgan. But Morgan didn't need help so instead he was in the middle of a rant to Morgan about the statistics of people looking similar to you in hopes that Morgan would understand how nervous it was making Him.
“So it's actually not that uncommon-”
“Reid im not in the mood for statistics ok, just stop”
“oh sorry”
If Morgan had been paying closer attention to Reid he would have seen the hurt look on his face, but he was busy admiring a cup of coffee to notice. Spencer walked away writing another number down in his notebook and cursing himself for being so stupid.
The next person he tried to talk to about his fears was JJ, but of course she wasn't in the mood to handle him. She was reading the file of the first victim for the hundredth time and she just couldn't see a connection to any of the other victims, other than the obvious brown hair and glasses. When spencer walked in and sat down next to her gathering his courage before speaking
“Hey JJ did you know that 70% of all-”
JJ was looking really annoyed as she cut him off with a wave of her hand and looked up
“Spence im busy, go help Emily we can talk later ok"
she turned back to the file she was reading and didn't look up again so he just walked away with a defeated look on his face saying a quick
“yeah of course, im sorry”
Before heading off towards Emily who was talking to the family of the latest victim, he put down another number in the notebook. He hadn't even managed to put the notebook away before he crashed into Rossi who was holding a cup of coffee, spilling it all over himself, Rossi and the floor.
“Oh my god! i'm so sorry Rossi i didn't see you”
Spencer hurried to grab a towel so the coffee wouldn't completely ruin the older mans shirt
“its ok dont worry about it kid”
spencer was still feeling guilty so he did the only thing the knew how to do properly
"did you know that coffee actually stains things quicker tha-"
"Reid i have to hurry please go bother someone else"
Rossi may be old but he was damn good at his job. While he usually doesn't break the no inter team Profiling rule he made an exception when there was something obviously wrong. The kid was holding that damn notebook again and looked ready to cry or pass out or both. But before he could question Reid his Phone rang and Hotch told him to hurry up to the crime scene and bring Morgan.
"Sorry Bambino we can talk later"
Rossi walked away faster than was probably necessary to try and get a new shirt from his go bag. He did feel really bad about being so harsh to the kid but he didn't have time to apologize, Hotch was waiting for him at the crime scene. He made a mental note to apologize to him later and ran out the door with Morgan following behind him.
Emily was emotionally exhausted. She had interviewed the families of the victims and had to listen to the broken cries as she told the mother of the latest victim that they had found her son. She saw Reid looking upset as he walked towards her with coffee staining the front of his shirt
"What happened to you?"
"I ran into Rossi and spilled coffee all over myself, how are you?"
"I'm ok just a little tired"
"I told you to go to bed earlier last night, you know a grown adult needs at least 7 hours of sleep every night"
Emily rolled her eyes and stood up
"I don't need your advice I'm going to the crime scene to meet Morgan, Rossi and Hotch you stay here and try to work out if there is any connection between these victims besides the obvious"
Reid nodded and grabbed the files. When Hotch and the others got back it was getting really late and everyone was too exhausted to keep working. He ordered everyone to go back to the hotel and got in a car with Reid. The silence was starting to bother Reid so he spoke up
"Hotch did you know that almost every minute there's a car crash somewhere in America"
"Reid i'm too tired for this can you please keep quiet"
Reid shut up and didn't speak for the rest of the trip. As soon as they got there he ran to his room and locked the door without a word to his friends. They were a little concerned but just thought he might be tired from the day and left him alone. That was definitely a mistake as he was now having a full blown panic attack on the floor.
They hate you! You are a burden! You're pathetic! They're only your friends because they pity you. You don't deserve them!
His thoughts repeated over and over he couldn't breathe and he could feel the edges of his vision darken as he blacked out. He didn't know how long he was out but when he looked at the clock it was six in the morning. He decided that he would just slip out while his teammates were sleeping and go for a walk around town. He did that on nights when he couldn't sleep due to nightmares or just regular insomnia. There was just something calming about walking outside during sunrise.
He was still going over the case in his mind and kept thinking about the resemblance he had to those boys.
He walked for about three hours before he reached a park. He remembered going there when he was younger, sitting under a tree doing homework and avoiding other children. He sat down and pulled out his notebook writing something down when he saw a familiar figure walking towards him.
"Well would you look at that the kid genius is back in town"
There in front of him stood Ethan Westwood, a childhood friend or Rival depending on the day. Spencer stood up and put the book away
"Ethan, how are you?"
"Better now that i ran into you"
"Why are you out here so early in the morning?"
Ethan raised an eyebrow at the question silently calling out the hypocrisy before responding
"I had to do something"
Ethan smiled at Reid and grabbed his arm way too tight. The warning bells started going off in Reids head. He pulled his arm out of Ethans grip. Ethans smile vanished and he stepped towards Reid who took a step backwards in response
"So are you here on the case?"
"Yeah I am, you wouldn't happen to have any information on that would you?"
"No, i looked into it but i couldn't find anything besides the obvious of them all looking the same"
"Yeah me and my team have been on the case for around 4 days now but we haven't really come up with much"
"That's weird huh whoever this guy is he must be good at what he does if The BAU can't catch him hell he might even get away if you catch him"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm just saying that whoever it is probably has a good reason for doing what he does"
While he talked Ethan pulled out a bottle and a rag thinking Reid couldn't see him. As soon as Reid saw the label he knocked the bottle out of Ethan's hand and backed away further. He reached into his satchel for his phone and dialed Garcia's number. He hoped she would pick up and silently cursed himself for not bringing his gun
"Why are you backing away from me Reid!"
"Why are you carrying a chloroform bottle!"
"Hey woah! I'm just saying hello to an old friend, no need to get so defensive. The bottle is for special occasions"
"Special occasions?! Like what, Ethan kidnapping innocent children!"
"They were not innocent! I wanted to kill you, but you weren't available so i did the next best thing murder children who looked like you i knew that your team, and by association you would inevitably fly out and help solve these murders and then, THEN i would have my chance! But i'm disappointed you didn't even realize you where the target Spencer"
Reid didn't think about it he just blurted out an answer
"Yes I did. i saw the similarities between me and the victims as soon as we got here but i shook it of since that happens all the time but i realized after the last Victim that i was the target"
"Your team doesn't know?! Do they you didn't tell them why else would you be out here ALONE"
Reid was frozen for a split second Ethan was right he hadn't told his team. Not for a lack of trying but he just couldn't muster up the courage to actually do it. He pulled himself out of his thoughts and did the first thing he could think of distract Ethan
"Why do you want to kill me? I mean last time i saw you we were friends"
"You always had to be perfect! You were better than me at everything. Even MY parents told me that you were better! You know what my dad used to tell me! He told me that until I was better than you I was a failure! He DIED thinking i was a failure after that my mother turned to alcohol she died when we were in college. At first I blamed myself for all of it but then I realized that YOU were at the center of every bad thing that ever happened to me i nearly killed you at that bar in New Orleans would have been so easy but you left before i could so i waited until i couldn't wait anymore and now here we are"
Reid felt bad for him for a split second before remembering that he was a serial killer who had murdered children.
"Im sorry Ethan"
"Too late."
Ethan jumped at Reid who dodged out of the way. The only good thing to come out of his constant Bullying in high school were his decent reflexes. Reid kicked Ethan in the groin and started to run in the direction of the hotel hoping his team was still there. Then he remembered his phone as he pulled it out of his satchel. Something hard hit his head making him trip, spilling the contents of his satchel all over the place. He didn't black out though his vision was dangerously close to.
He still grabbed his phone, the cracked screen showed that a call was active. He stood up and placed the phone to his ear
"Garcia?"
"Oh my god Reid, where are you!"
"Spence Are you ok!"
"Community park, the Unsubs name is Ethan Westwood"
"The others are already on their way just keep running and-"
Reid didn't have time to respond before a hand wrapped around his neck yanking him back making him drop the phone. Spencer tried to get out of Ethans grip but Ethan was much stronger than he was and he was losing oxygen fast. He felt his lungs burning and kicked Ethan as hard as he could in a desperate attempt to get away but that only made Ethan squeeze his neck tighter. Black spots floated in his vision as he made a weak attempt to kick Ethan away.
"I would kill you here but that would ruin the fun! So just go to sleep we can play a game with your stupid little team!"
Ethan sounded insane but to be fair he probably was. At the mention of his team he tried even harder to get Ethan off him. The last thing Reid registered before he passed out was the faint sound of panicked screaming coming from his phone. Ethan felt Reid go completely limp in his arms and smiled, throwing his unconscious body to the ground and picking up the phone.
"A game is only fun if there are multiple players! So I'm giving you 24 hours to rescue him before I blow his brains out! Good luck"
He ended the call and threw the phone on the ground, shattering it. He picked up Spencer's unconscious body and dragged him towards his car. He threw Reid in the back, taping his hands together in case he woke up before they reached their destination. Then he started driving. He wished he could see the look on the FBI agents' faces but he knew that if he stayed any longer he would be killed. Ethan took one look at the unconscious form in the back seat and smiled. This would be fun.