Work Text:
Rachel is sitting on the couch looking plain angry because Quinn has been driving her up the wall for the last month. Speak of the devil...
"hey babe, here is your tea. I figured you'd need some after the episode this morning."
The so called "episode" that morning had consisted of Noah begging Quinn to leave her wife alone for just a little bit ("Megan would've murdered me if I didn't give her some alone time when she was pregnant with Aaron.")
Rachel takes a sip of the tea, it's perfect, too perfect. She sets it down gently on their coffee table. "Quinn, this is too much. I love you very much but the baby isn't going to pop out if you go check on the Puckermans."
Quinn shakes her head dismissively, "No, it's okay Rach. I don't need any space. I'll just stay here with you and the ba-"
"Quinn!" Rachel's tone makes Quinn jump, "I'm not worried that you need to get away for a bit. I'm saying I need you gone for a little bit."
Quinn's small smile is rather sheepish, "I'm sorry, I'll go on a walk."
Rachel shakes her head quickly, "No, I think you should go to Noah's house for a few hours. Just talk to Megan or something."
Quinn takes a few mournful looks around and collects her things before driving to Noah and Megan's house.
***
"Jesus Christ, you're makin' it sound like she's divorcing you. Chill out would you please."
Quinn sips her sweet tea, "you don't understand, she just kicked me out. What if she doesn't love me anymore. Oh god, Puck, what if I crowded her too much and she doesn't love me anymore!"
Noah sets down the baby bottle, "Fuck this, I can't deal with you right now." He yells up the stairs for Megan to come down and take care of the pathetic lesbian in their kitchen.
"I'm here, Quinn, stop being a baby. Of course Rachel still loves you she just wants some time to herself. Noah this milk is way too cold to give to a baby!"
She takes the bottle and runs it under some hot water to warm it up. The kitchen is silent except for the babbling of Aaron as he drinks his milk.
"Listen, I doubt the baby will even come today. Have y'all settled on a name yet or are you waiting for the-" Noah is interrupted by the doorbell which is followed by a loud continuous knocking. He goes to the door and swings it open.
"Hello Santana, did you really need to break down my door?"
Santana fixes him under a death glare as she walks in uninvited, "Yes, I did. Rachel wouldn't let me inform you that the baby was happening until about five minutes ago so you better feel loved, I broke traffic laws for you."
Quinn sits there for a moment, her brain hasn't yet processed the information.
"Yo Tubbers, you coming or not?"
Suddenly Quinn's eyes go wide and she stands up so quickly the stool she was sitting on almost falls over. "Right, yes! Let's go!"
Quinn is out the door in a flash without any good byes to the other adults. Santana is not so fast about it. She gives Noah a high five and Megan a hug.
"Hope y'all have a good day, I'll keep you updated. Love that new purse Puckerman."
Noah looks indignant, "It is a diaper bag! I'm just being a good father!"
"Sure, keep telling yourself that." Santana strolls out to her car and gets in, "Okay then Fabray, let's get you to your midget."
***
They're driving down the highway at a speed that probably is neither legal nor completely safe but neither of them care that much. Quinn doesn't care because she wants to get to the hospital and Santana doesn't care because she has a "chaotic soul" as the fortune teller they went to once put it.
"Calm down, she's not going to die or anything."
"You don't know that, she could have a heart attack. Does that happen often during labor?"
Santana looks at her with her best 'wtf' look, "Rachel is twenty seven years old. I highly doubt she'll be having a heart attack."
"What if something happens to the baby then."
"Yes, because something is going to happen to your perfectly healthy, on time baby after Streisand has been taking all kinds of supplements and baby health shit for nine months."
Apparently Quinn doesn't hear the sarcasm and starts hyperventilating.
"Oh god, Q, I was kidding. The baby's gonna be fine!" Santana pulls into an empty spot in the hospital parking lot. "See, we're here. Let's go check on Berry."
It takes a moment for Quinn's breathing to even out but she's in full HBIC mode as they walk up to the desk.
"Hello, I need to know which room Rachel Berry is in."
The receptionist raises her eyebrows just a little and says, "I'm going to need identification from both of you."
Santana pulls out her driver's license and sets it down on the desk but Quinn reaches for her purse only to realize she left it at the apartment that morning.
"I'm sorry but I don't have my license on me right now but I should be fairly easy to ID." She looks around the lobby and retrieves a magazine from one of the tables.
"This is literally me." She points at her and Rachel on the front cover.
This would be a fairly good confirmation for most people but this receptionist simply huffs a bit and nudges her glasses up her nose, "I'm sorry Ma'am, you're going to need actual identification."
Quinn is seething as she opens her mouth to say some probably horrible things but a heavy hand falls on her shoulder. It's Sergio, their head bodyguard.
"Hello there Ms. Pine, Mrs. Fabray, Mrs. Lopez-Pierce, it's wonderful to see you all. I'm sorry to disrupt whatever this" he waves his hand vaguely at the three of them, "is but Mrs. Berry has been asking for these two. Have a good day Ms. Pine!" His wide smile is enough to win anyone over and Ms. Pine sends back a small smile.
He wraps one arm over Santana's shoulders and the other over Quinn's and leads them away. Quinn's arms are crossed over her chest and she looks all the world like a small child.
"You doin' okay there, Quinnie?"
"No, I'm late and it's that damn receptionist's fault."
Sergio lets go of their shoulders and pats Quinn's head lightly, "You're not late, you're perfectly on time."
They're approaching Rachel's room when they see a short figure being led out by a slightly taller one.
Santana squints, "Blaine? Oh my god, did he just faint?"
Kurt shoots a glare at Santana, "He did not faint, he just got a bit queasy." Kurt leans down and pats Blaine's shoulder in a comforting manner. For a moment they all, even Quinn, forget what they're here for but then an ear splitting wail sounds through the hall.
The small group doesn't speak for a moment before Sergio chuckles, "Well, I guess we were a tad bit late. Maybe you oughta check on your woman, Mrs. Fabray."
Quinn, eyes wide, scrambles inside the room.
Brittany walks into the hall with a peaceful look on her face. She walks over to Santana and wraps her in a tight hug.
"Honey, I love you but why the hug?"
Brittany nuzzles her head into Santana's hair, "I want a baby."
Santana's eyes go wide and she looks towards Sergio with a panicked face.
"A ba- a baby?"
Kurt snickers as Brittany nods. Sergio apparently decides to be merciful and save Santana from her misery.
"Shall we see how Mrs. Berry is doing?"
Brittany detached herself from Santana and the five of them walk slowly to the doorway. The sight that greets them melts even Santana's heart. Rachel holding a tiny baby wrapped in a blanket while Quinn smiles down at them both.
"Holy shit," Santana breathes out, "I want a baby too."
Kurt doesn't hold his laugh in well and it comes out as a soft of snort.
"I have no ethical problems with hummelcide."
"Oh my god, did you just hiss at me?!"
"Fuck off, AnderHummel."
"That is very rude Santana!"
Nurses walking past observe this crazy family. How they've managed to not get kicked out yet is a rather prominent question.