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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
So I usually don’t do things like this but seriously this is the worst printer I’ve ever used. It’s constantly getting jammed. The USB cable doesn’t fit. It needs new ink every 3 prints. Half the time when I want colour it gives me black and white and basically I’d like a refund.
Order # 4950439
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
It was slightly redundant to restate the subject in the first sentence of the message. Other than that I would be happy to help you resolve your problem. Have you tried turning it on and off again? I’ve been told that works.
-Customer Service Rep #221
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
What the hell? I didn’t want to talk to a customer service rep. I just want my money back for this bloody printer. And it wasn’t redundant. The customer is always right. Isn’t that a thing?
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
The address you initially contacted is for servicing questions. The customer cannot always be right. In fact the customer is usually an idiot, as I have learned through fielding useless questions such as but not limited to:
--Where is the ‘on’ button?
--Why don’t I hear noise when I press ‘mute’?
--Why is my microwave not more transparent?
-Customer Service Rep #221
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
Alright so those were pretty stupid questions. But you’re getting paid for this. There are worse jobs. Anyway since you seem pretty bored anyway could you look into getting me my money back for this printer?
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
I graduated from Oxford and I’m working the summer here. There are not worse jobs. Though I wouldn’t expect you to appreciate this. Given as you are someone that shops from the Coltech catalogue. Seriously. Only a moron would buy these ludicrous things. Did you know we sell a Hawaiian themed three-slice toaster?
-Customer Service Rep #221
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
You’re an absolute prick. You don’t know anything about me. For your information the printer was a gift from my sister. I’m trying to be a writer.
How have you not been fired with this attitude?
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
I know you’re a war veteran. 30-34. Recently returned from either Afghanistan or Iraq. Probably discharged honorably after being shot. Not that many close friends/family relations. Struggle to pay the rent. Strong moral compass. Incredibly persistent.
My brother’s management. I can’t be fired.
-Customer Service Rep #221
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
That was amazing.
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
That's not what people usually say.
-Customer Service Rep #221
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
What do they usually say?
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From: [email protected]
CC:
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: This is the worst printer I have ever purchased
Message:
Piss off.
-Customer Service Rep #221