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1.
“You should take Forrest,” Michael tells Alex, handing him a flyer as they finish up yet another night of trying to figure out what Jones had been up to before he’d been sealed in that cave. “I mean there aren’t any Nazi’s, but it’s the right time period.”
Alex studies the advertisement for an exhibit on the role of Navajo Code Talkers in WWII featuring an opening night presentation by the grandson of one the original Code Talkers. It’s at the closest UNM branch, only about an hour outside of Roswell.
“Thanks?” Alex isn’t sure what Michael’s intent is.
“Come on, I can be thoughtful,” Michael responds playfully, bumping Alex’s shoulder as they exit the bunker.
“Sometimes,” Alex concedes, knowing how true it is. As the mysteries surrounding Jones multiply, Michael has been the voice of reason with his sibling - handling Max’s mood swings as he deals with losing Liz and discovering a possibly evil version of himself without reacting to them, supporting Isobel when she feels overwhelmed with Max’s issues. Alex considers himself lucky if Michael wants to extend his thoughtfulness to him.
Michael is right, Forrest is thrilled when Alex asks him about going to the opening night of the exhibit. He takes notes during the presentation and carefully studies each piece in the exhibit, filling Alex in when there is overlap in the research he’s been doing.
Alex follows along quietly. He’s almost overwhelmed by the amount of information, things he knows should already be familiar to him. Alex can’t help thinking about the family and history he’d lost when his mother left and he’s never been brave enough to reclaim. Part of him wishes he were here with Greg, and he wonders if Greg would come another night if Alex asked him.
“Are you ok?” Forrest asks, placing his hand on Alex’s arm to get his attention.
Alex attempts a smile, “It’s just there is so much information, and I wish it wasn’t all new to me. It makes me realize how much I’ve let that part of my heritage go. I was thinking about Greg, whether all this would feel familiar to him now. If he feels like a part of it now.”
“Is he the one who told you about this?”
“No,” Alex corrects him, although it is a logical assumption. “Michael gave me the flyer; he thought you might be interested in coming.”
“Alien guy,” Forrest brightens as he makes the connection.
Alex tried to hold back his smile at the nickname, but something must show on his face because Forrest’s expression dims.
“Oh,” he says softly. “Alien guy is also Song guy.”
There is no reason to deny it so Alex remains silent. He thinks about trying to explain, considers telling Forrest that he and Michael haven’t been together in years, but it’s not the whole truth, and he’s never been able to explain his relationship with Michael, even to himself. It feels wrong to even try, standing here surrounded by reminders of the courage and sacrifice of his ancestors when he’s never managed to find a way to talk about the man he’s loved for almost half his life.
“I guess we have more in common than just a love of the microfiche,” Forrest tries to joke, but it falls flat and they both know there isn’t anything left to say.
They leave shortly after and the ride home is long and silent. When Alex pulls into Forrest’s driveway, their relief is palpable, and they say goodbye quickly without an attempt at a kiss. It’s easier than it should be to let Forrest go. Alex enjoyed their dates, they’d made out a lot, even got each other off a few times, and while it wasn’t serious, Alex had thought it had the potential to be. But one mention of Michael, and he realizes he isn’t as ready to move on as he wants to be.
He doesn’t see Forrest again until the next open mic night a few weeks later. Even though he isn’t performing Alex is happy to support Maria and the event as an audience member. Forrest is the last performer before intermission, and he recites his poem without once looking at Alex. When he finishes, Alex claps politely before going to the bar for another drink.
Max is too busy to make much conversation so Alex doesn’t linger. On the way back to his table, he sees Michael and Forrest talking off to the side of the stage. Michael is speaking intently, leaning in with one hand on Forrest’s arm and the other gesturing around the bar. From what Alex can see Forrest is just listening; watching Michael with a combination of amusement and resignation.
Alex reminds himself that it’s none of his business and forces himself to continue back towards his table. He’s too far away to hear what Michael is saying anyway. A few minutes later, Michael sits heavily in the chair next to him, frustration evident on his face.
“What’s wrong?” Alex asks.
“Nothing,” Michael snaps before looking away and visibly forcing himself to relax. “Sorry, it’s just there’s a problem with the equipment I thought I had worked out-” he pauses to glare at Forrest, “but apparently I need to find another solution.”
Everything seems to be working just fine as far as Alex can tell, and Michael doesn’t seem to be in the mood to talk about it so Alex lets it go and focuses on bracing himself for the sheer volume of Bert’s upcoming performance.
2.
“I was hoping you could do me a favor,” Michael says as he steps out of the airstream and hands Alex another beer.
Max had left about ten minutes ago, and Alex had considered heading home as well, but Michael had offered another round of drinks so he stayed. “Sure,” he replies, figuring there is nothing Michael would ask for that he would refuse.
“You know those online classes I’ve been taking?” Michael pauses long enough for Alex to nod. “One of my professors mentioned his laptop got some crazy virus and the school’s IT department couldn’t fix it. I may have told him I knew someone who could look at it.”
“That’s fine,” Alex agrees. “Just set something up and let me know. You know my schedule.”
“Thanks, maybe this will get me some bonus points.”
Alex rolls his eyes even though Michael isn’t looking at him. “Considering how often you remind me that you’re a genius, I don’t think you need any help with your grade, but I’ll try not to make it worse.”
“I guess I’ll have to trust you to have my back,” Michael teases. “Unlike Sanders who I swear is trying to ruin my life.”
“What did he do now?” Alex asks as he settles more comfortably into his chair. He knows from experience he could be here a while once Michael gets going about Sanders.
“He doesn’t listen for one. There’s this form we have to fill out when we take a car in for service. A form he had long before I started working there I might add. If I forget one little check box I never hear the end of it. Do you know what he does when he takes a car in?” Michael leans forward as he gets into the story.
“No, but I guess you’ll tell me.”
“He sticks a note on it that says ‘fix me.’ A note, Alex, not even a sticky note, just a ripped off piece of an old yellow legal pad he actually tapes to the windshield,” Michael throws his hands up in the air. “What am I supposed to do with that?”
“Fix it,” Alex replies, laughing when Michael sputters indignantly. For all Michael’s complaining, Alex can hear the warmth in his voice when he talks about Sanders now. Michael’s always been loyal to Sanders, but Alex doesn’t think he ever understood that those feelings were returned until he learned about Sander’s connection to his mother and his reasons for helping Michael.
“You’re as bad as he is, thinking I can read minds and figure out what’s wrong with it. That’s Isobel’s deal, not mine.”
“I don’t think that works on cars,” Alex counters. “So what did you do?” he asks, already knowing the answer.
Michael hangs his head, “I fixed it.”
They both laugh, and Alex accepts another beer.
A week later a man approaches his booth when Alex is on his second cup of coffee at the Crashdown.
“Alex?”
The laptop he’s holding gives him away as the professor Alex has been waiting for. He’s younger than Alex expected, probably less than ten years older than Alex. His pressed jeans, button down shirt and casual blazer make him look like he stepped off every college brochure Alex remembers getting in the mail.
“Professor Taylor,” Alex smiles but doesn’t stand up.
“Yep, how’d you know?” When Alex looks pointedly at the laptop he’s clutching, he laughs and runs his free hand through his hair. “Right, please call me Ben. And you were easy to find. Michael told me to look for the best looking guy in the place.”
Alex quirks an eyebrow at him because that doesn’t sound like something Michael would say.
“Well, he told me you would be the guy who looks irritated by life because he’s on his third cup of coffee instead of drinking the milkshake he really wants, but I think my description stands.” He blushes slightly and that’s when Alex notices the rainbow and bisexual flag pins on his jacket. He wonders what else Michael said about him.
“That sounds more accurate, but this is only my second cup of coffee,” Alex reaches for the laptop. “Michael said you had a virus you can’t get rid of?”
Ben sits next to him in the booth instead of across the table. He opens the laptop and slides it over to Alex. “I promise it’s not from watching porn.”
Alex doesn’t even try to hide his smirk, “So it’s definitely from watching porn.”
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” Ben winks at Alex.
“Right.” Alex starts working. Ben looks disappointed when Alex moves to the far side of the booth but he doesn’t follow.
Once Alex gets into the computer, he knows it will be a relatively easy fix. He asks Ben about the classes he teaches and his enthusiasm for his subject matter makes for pleasant background noise. He reminds Alex a bit of Forrest, only focused on engineering instead of history.
After he takes care of the virus, Alex installs a stronger protection software and strengthens the firewall settings. He hands the laptop back to Ben. “You’re all set. I don’t think it will happen again, but I definitely recommend having separate computers for work and,” Alex clears his throat, “your more personal pursuits.”
Alex lets his amusement show clearly on his face. And while Ben blushes a little, he doesn’t look away. Once his laptop is back in his bag he stands up, and waits to see if Alex will follow. When Alex remains seated, Ben leans against the table, and reaches for Alex’s hand.
“I can’t thank you enough. I have some research on here I really can’t afford to lose.” He shakes Alex's hand, holding on for longer than necessary and smiling warmly. “If I have any more problems, I know who to come to.”
“You shouldn’t,” Alex repeats as he pulls his hand free. “But just let Michael know if you do. He can always hook us up again.”
“Of course,” Ben’s smile falters slightly. “Well, thanks again.” He waves on his way out, stopping at the counter to pay for Alex’s next coffee.
Alex texts Michael to let him know how it went. He barely has time to set his phone down before Michael slides into the booth across from him.
“Were you waiting outside the door?” Alex asks, surprised at the speed of Michael’s arrival.
“Nope, just running some errands,” Michael holds his hands up, trying to look innocent. “That didn’t take very long.”
“Pretty simple fix, not much to do,” Alex shrugs.
“So are you meeting him again?”
“No, why would we? I told you I was able to take care of everything.” Michael is the one who suggested Alex look at the computer. He’s not sure why Michael seems so surprised he was able to fix it.
“You guys got along though, right?” Michael asks.
“I didn’t do anything to jeopardize your grade if that’s what you’re worried about. He should be completely satisfied with my work.”
Michael snorts loudly then tries to cover it up with a cough when the diners at the counter turn around to look at them.
“Anyway,” Alex glares at Michael. “He was nice, and I told him he could let you know if he had any more problems.”
“Huh,” Michael leans back in the booth. “I guess that’s that.”
Before Alex can ask what he means, Javier finally comes over with the refill for Alex, and they decide to order lunch. Burgers and fries for both of them, and while Alex drinks the coffee Ben bought him, Michael orders a milkshake. When their food comes, Michael slides his milkshake to the middle of the table so Alex can dip his fries in it.
3.
When Alex walks into the Wild Pony he doesn’t see Michael straight away, so he heads to the bar. Maria looks busy but he catches Max’s eye and holds up two fingers, knowing Max is familiar enough with what he and Michael drink to take it from there.
Instead of delivering the drinks Max waves him over and when Alex reaches him he’s surprised to see three bottles on the bar. “Hey, you remember Danny Price, right?”
Alex shakes his head, the way Max is trying too hard to appear casual already setting him on edge.
“He was a few years ahead of us in school - he graduated with one of your brothers.” When it becomes clear Alex still has no idea who he is talking about, Max sighs. “Well, I guess he just moved back to Roswell, and Michael brought him in tonight.” Max points to a table in the back.
Michael is leaning forward in his chair, talking animatedly to a man who looks completely out of place in the Pony. He’s wearing what looks like an expensive suit and is sitting stiffly across the table from Michael. Alex reluctantly takes the beers and heads in that direction. He’s not sure why Michael would have invited him for a drink without telling him he was bringing someone else.
“Hey,” he sets the bottles on the table and tries to give Michael a questioning look, but Michael avoids his eyes.
“Alex,” he greets him with exaggerated cheer. “You remember Danny?”
The other man scowls at Michael and immediately corrects him, “It’s Daniel.”
“Alex Manes, nice to meet you,” he shakes Daniel’s hand, not bothering to pretend he remembers him at all.
“Pleasure,” Daniel replies coolly, quickly pulling his hand away and dropping it into his lap. He completely ignores the bottle Alex places in front of him.
Alex sits next to Michael and kicks him under the table. This is not the relaxing night he had in mind.
“So Daniel,” Michael emphasizes his name, “just moved back to take over his family’s law firm. I gave him a tow today when he blew a tire out on the highway. Thought I’d show him around a bit, get him caught up on the social scene since his boyfriend decided not to make the move.”
Now Alex knows who he is, or at least who his father is. Daniel Price Sr. was the go to lawyer for people like the Longs and his father. He knew how to make things go away if you had enough influence and money to grease the wheels of justice. Alex had been forced to speak with him a few times when Jesse filed for divorce on the grounds of abandonment. He’d made a point of telling Alex how lucky he was that an important man like his father was willing to make the sacrifices necessary to ensure Alex was raised in a civilized environment. From the way Daniel is looking down his nose at the Pony, Alex expects he shares his father’s attitude.
“You’re a lawyer, as well?” Alex asks when Daniel doesn’t respond to Michael and the silence starts to become awkward.
“Yes, my father’s been after me to join the firm ever since his last associate was killed in an accident. I finally agreed,” Daniel doesn’t look happy about his decision.
At the mention of the dead associate, Alex shares a quick look with Michael, knowing Daniel must be referring to Isobel’s husband. But Michael doesn’t look concerned and with a quick shake of his head, he lets Alex know the connection is nothing to be concerned about. Roswell is a small town, if Noah was looking to cloak himself in prestige, he didn’t have many other options. Alex decides to accept Michael’s assessment of the risk, at least for now.
Michael turns to Alex, picking the conversation back up,, “I thought you could give him some tips on readjusting to life in Roswell. He’s used to being a big city lawyer, and you came back a war hero.”
Alex doesn’t even try to hide his reaction. He looks at Michael incredulously. Michael has never said a single positive thing about Alex’s time in the Air Force, let alone called him a hero.
“Maria needs me to look at something in the back so I’ll leave you two to talk,” Michael stands up and claps Alex on the shoulder, which feels more like he’s trying to hold Alex in place.
Alex glares at Michael as he walks away and then tries to school his expression into something more pleasant. It’s not Daniel’s fault Michael is acting like a completely different kind of pod person.
“Michael didn’t say where you relocated from,” Alex asks politely.
After several minutes of listening to Daniel drone on about his fabulous life in Chicago, Alex has finished his own beer and reaches unapologetically for the other one on the table. Daniel clearly isn’t going to drink it, and Alex feels he’s more than earned it. Initially he had tried to be sympathetic, but if Daniel really was the star of his high powered law firm and could afford a waterfront apartment and active social life, there is no reason to leave it all behind for a family law practice in Roswell. Alex finds himself thinking he should call the ex-boyfriend and congratulate him on ridding himself of this pompous asshole.
Mainly because he still has one beer left to drink, Alex makes a final attempt at conversation. “It’s definitely not Chicago, but I am sure you will find Roswell has its own appeal.”
The overture backfires, launching Daniel into a diatribe about Roswell’s isolation, lack of culture, poor economic outlook and even the Pony’s inadequate wine cellar. Alex is patient as long as he can be. He remembers his own bitterness and disappointment at finding himself back in the town he swore he’d left for good, and grudgingly admits some of Daniel’s complaints have merit.
“I am pleased - surprised but pleased - that some of the fine, upstanding families like the Longs haven’t abandoned this town. Considering how some of the more unsavory elements continue to flourish, their presence is all that is saving this town. I doubt without people like them and your father, my own family would still have a business worth passing down,” Daniel concludes with a condescending smile.
Alex reads that for the racist bullshit that it is. He smiles back, but there is nothing friendly about it. “You said you practiced corporate law in Chicago?” Daniel nods. “Well, I think you’ll find the Longs, Wyatt in particular, are more likely to keep you busy in criminal court. Might want to brush up on your defense skills.
Instead of being offended, Daniel looks pleased with himself. “I will be reminding the Sheriff of the important contributions the Longs make to this town and the consequences of ignoring those when faced with Wyatt’s more high spirited behavior. I am sure she will see the wisdom in restraint.”
And Alex is done. He stands up fast enough that his chair scrapes loudly across the floor, catching Max and Maria’s attention. “Looks like you’ll fit in just fine here as a small time, I mean small town, lawyer. I’ll have to thank Michael for allowing us to get reacquainted in case our paths cross again.”
Max waves him away apologetically when he heads to the bar to pay. Maria, on the other hand, takes one look at his face and starts laughing so hard she doesn’t see him flip her off on his way out the door. Michael’s truck isn’t in the parking lot, and Alex can’t help but feel relieved. He’d been expecting to spend a few hours with Michael drinking beer and talking, and instead been subjected to...whatever the hell that was. He’s more agitated than he was when he arrived and he’s not in the mood for whatever excuse Michael has. The next time Michael invites him for a drink, he’s going to make sure there aren’t any surprises. And Michael is paying.
4.
Alex watches Maria and Rosa belt out Don’t Speak from one of the tables Isobel reserved for the night. He normally avoids Thursday Karaoke nights at Planet 7, preferring somewhere less crowded and quieter after work, but he made an exception for Kyle’s birthday.
When one of the bartenders came over with another free birthday shot for Kyle, Michael sighs dramatically and rolls his eyes. “The Valenti love fest is killing me. You think they’d know by now it's not going to get them laid.”
“It’s his birthday,” Alex shrugs. “Which you are here celebrating, I might add.”
“Isobel’s paying the tab tonight, can’t pass that up,” Michael holds up his own shot glass then lets out a cheer when Maria and Rosa transition to Say My Name. “Trust me, another year with Dr. Doolittle is nothing worth celebrating.
Alex shakes his head and turns his attention back to the stage. While Michael’s animosity toward Kyle may have faded, he never turns down a chance to insult him.
“Speaking of getting laid,” Michael nudges Alex to get his attention again. “I think that guy at the bar is eyeing you.”
Alex looks over at the bar to see who Michael is not so subtly pointing to. The only person paying attention to them is Trent, one of the regulars Forrest made a point of intruding Alex to months ago. When Trent notices Alex looking over at him, he winks and Alex doesn’t know whether to laugh or throw something at Michael. He’s too tired and too sober to deal with this tonight. It may have taken Alex a while to catch on, but he realizes Michael has been trying to set him up ever since he and Forrest broke up. Ben was a nice enough guy, and Alex could see why Michael thought they might click; Daniel was a clear miss, but this is a new low.
“Yes, Trent is eyeing me, and anyone else he thinks might give him fifty bucks for a bathroom blowjob.”
“What?” Michael stutters.
“You just tried to set me up with a hustler,” they both watch as another patron approaches Trent and after a short conversation, they walk toward the bathroom together.
“Sorry, I didn’t know,” Michael slumps back in his seat.
“Yeah, I get that,” Alex pinched the bridge of his nose. He’s not sure what it says about him that Michael thought his type would be someone in a mesh see-through tank top, ripped skin tight teal jeans, a cowboy hat and what might be a pair of boots made by the murder twins. Maybe Michael thinks he’s desperate enough that ‘likes guys’ and ‘breathing’ is his new standard, or maybe Michael is just that desperate to focus Alex’s interest on someone else. Either way, it’s not something Alex is prepared to confront tonight.
“Trent’s a nice kid,” Alex offers at Michael’s defeated look. “He’s using the money to help pay his undergrad tuition which means he’s about ten years younger than me. And there's no way you didn’t notice that.” Alex doesn’t wait for Michael to answer, before he stands up and decides to call it a night.
He catches Rosa and Maria as they are walking off the stage and hugs them both. He waves at the rest of the table before stepping up behind Kyle. “Happy Birthday. I’m going to head out, early morning on the base tomorrow,” he covers so that Kyle won’t try to persuade him to stay.
“Thanks for coming, man,” Kyle gives him a half hug, half handshake made even more awkward by his drunken clumsiness.
Alex passes Kyle off to Max and heads for the door. He can feel Michael’s eyes on him, but Michael doesn’t say anything or try to stop him so Alex heads home alone.
5.
Alex tries to listen to the speaker as they explain the importance of raising enough funds to support a domestic violence shelter in Roswell, but his attention keeps drifting to Michael. Other than those few minutes at Prom he’s never seen Michael in a suit, and he’s beautiful. No longer an adolescent trying to be comfortable in unfamiliar clothes, he wears the charcoal grey suit with confidence. No tie and shirt unbuttoned at the top, it’s elegant and Michael all at once.
But Michael doesn’t want that kind of attention from him, so he tries again to focus on the speaker. Normally he would have made a donation and avoided the fundraiser entirely, but Isobel had organized the event and purchased a table, handing out tickets and insisting attendance was mandatory.
Another woman comes to the stage and begins to explain how a shelter saved her life. Alex finds himself thinking about his mother, and what, if any, difference a safe place like this could have made in her life. He remembers so little of his parent’s relationship, but he can’t imagine it was healthy, and he can’t make himself believe his mother would have left them all behind if she had a choice.
As if sensing his thoughts, Maria places her hand on his arm and squeezes gently. He turns and smiles at her, grateful for her silent support. In an attempt to redirect his own thoughts he excuses himself to get another drink as soon as there is a break in the program. On his way to the bar, he sees Michael nudge Isobel who then heads over to another table, but he doesn’t give it much thought.
Alex takes his drink and steps off to the side, content to watch from a distance for a while. He’ll rejoin the table soon enough, but he needs a break to push the thoughts of his mother from his mind. He’s almost done with his drink when he notices another man approaching him. Alex doesn’t recognize him, but he is clearly on his way to speak to him.
“Captain Manes,” he holds out his hand and Alex shakes it automatically. “I was hoping to get a chance to talk to you tonight. Major Sam Whitmore,” he introduces himself. “Please call me Sam.”
“Alex,” Alex isn’t sure how to respond. Even out of uniform, Alex would have immediately recognized him as military. He looks to be about Clay’s age, some grey creeping into his blond hair, but his eyes are kind, and Alex doesn’t sense a threat from him.
“Isobel mentioned you would be here. She’s a friend of yours?”
“Hmm.” Alex is noncommittal, not willing to claim Isobel as a friend when he’s not sure why she mentioned him to Sam. “Mostly through her brother. You know her well?” He glances over at the table and sees Michael watching him while Isobel and another woman stand a few feet away also looking in their direction.
“Not well,” Sam admits. Sam gestures to the woman talking to Isobel. “My ex-wife is one of the board members, and she helped Isobel plan the event. I try to be supportive of her work when I can be.”
“That’s admirable.” His thoughts drift briefly to his mother again. There had been nothing admirable about how Jesse had erased her from their lives the moment she left.
“We were always friends, and we’ve managed to keep that connection even though we didn’t have children to keep us tied together. We were probably always meant to be friends, and I don’t know what I would do without her. She was able to accept that I was gay before I could.”
And now Alex understands what this is all about, but it isn’t Sam’s fault, so he smiles politely. “She sounds like a good friend to have.”
“She definitely deserved better than I gave her, but I didn’t know any other way to live. I came from a military family, and just followed the same path as everyone else in my family. Joined the Air Force, married my high school girlfriend and pretended it was enough.”
“Sometimes that’s the only way,” Alex agrees. For all his teenage rebellion, he’d ended up exactly where his father wanted him. Then he still let him down by coming back rather than dying a martyr to the Manes’ legacy.
“You and I have a lot in common. You know what it’s like to grow up with that pressure to fall in line, to serve. I can’t think of a single man in my family who wasn’t part of the military. In fact I think my father served with both your father and grandfather.”
Sam is still talking, but Alex can’t concentrate on what he’s saying. The idea that Sam could be connected to his family sends his thoughts spiraling. He’s already been thinking about his father, and another mention of him has Alex’s skin prickling like he’s being watched. What if there were more people involved in Project Shepherd? Alex was sure he buried Project Shepherd deep enough that it will never be found, but what if he missed something? With his attention focused elsewhere is it possible he’d missed something - some other threat to Michael he didn’t notice?Is Alex failing to protect him once again?
He looks back to the table, irrationally needing to see that Michael is still there and unharmed. Michael is there - still watching him. He’s frowning like he can tell Alex is upset. Alex forces himself to resume listening to Sam.
“So I thought we could get coffee or something, get to know each other better?”
“Sounds good,” Alex agrees while looking for somewhere to set his drink down. Between his father’s ghost and Michael’s attention, he feels like the air in the room is suffocating him. “Excuse me, I have to go.”
Alex quickly heads outside, not allowing himself to look back at Michael. Once he’s clear of the building, he loosens his tie and tries to slow his breathing. All he wants to do is go home, but he knows he’s not ready to drive and the lingering paranoia from Sam’s mention of his family leaves him on guard and needing to be close enough to protect Michael. So he sits on one of the benches surrounding a small pond and reminds himself that his father is dead. That Project Shepherd is gone. That Michael is safe.
Just as he’s worked through his fears - convinced himself they are unfounded and begun to relax - he feels a hand on his shoulder. He stands up and spins around quickly, ready for a fight. Of course it’s Micheal, and as relieved as he is to have visible proof that Michael is fine, he doesn’t want to face the other emotions Michael stirs in him. He wishes Michael hadn’t followed him, not with his latest attempt at matchmaking is still a bitter reminder of what Michael doesn’t want.
“Hey,” Michael says soothingly. “They’re about to serve dinner. You should come back in.” Michael steps back hesitantly and shoves his hands back in his pockets.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Why, you’re not in the mood for overcooked chicken?” Michael smiles and jerks his head back toward the banquet hall. “It won’t be that bad. Isobel swears the potatoes are to die for.”
Alex ignores his attempt at levity, angry that Michael is still pushing this. “What I’m not in the mood for is finding Major Whitmore in the empty chair at our table. You’ll have to be the one to tell Isobel she wasted her time orchestrating this meeting. Although I have a feeling it was your idea.”
“Come on Alex, it wasn’t like that,” Michael winces a little at Alex's directness.
“Michael,” Alex sighs and sits back down, suddenly tired of all of this. “We need to stop dancing around this. It’s just hurting both of us. I know it’s hurting me.”
Michael looks down for a moment before meeting Alex’s eyes, somehow both apologetic and defiant in the face of Alex’s admission. “Isobel really wanted everyone here; she’s proud of this event. But when she told me about her friend’s ex-husband, I thought it would be a good chance for you to meet someone. That’s all.”
“And what about the rest of them? It’s not like this is the first time you’ve tried to set me up.” Now that Alex has asked the question, he’s not going to let Michael avoid telling him the truth.
“I just want you to be happy, Alex. You tried to help me out with Maria - more than once she told me. And I tried to fix things with Forrest, but when that didn’t work out, I got creative,” Michael shrugs.
“This goes back to Forrest, Jesus,” Alex swears. He remembers Michael’s animated conversation with Forrest at open mic night and is embarrassed just imagining what Michael might have said in the effort to get Forrest to give him another chance. “What were you thinking?”
“You helped with Maria,” Michael repeats as if that explains anything.
“I talked to Maria because the two people I loved most in the world were falling in love with each other. You could have made each other so happy and everyone could see that. How could I not encourage the two of you to be happy together?”
Alex had never considered anything but helping Maria when she had doubts about Michael. Maybe it didn’t make sense to anyone else, but he understood when Michael told him he wanted something good, that he wanted to be good for someone - and that someone was Maria. He just wanted to help her understand. He knew they gave each other something he could never provide, and it blunted some of the pain of his own failure with Michael to see their happiness. “What you did wasn’t the same thing at all. You’ve been throwing random men in my path and hoping one would stick. That doesn’t feel like caring, Michael, it feels like you are trying to get rid of me.”
“Alex, no,” Michael protests, looking upset.
“I get it, but it needs to stop. I’m sorry if I’m making you uncomfortable. I thought I was respecting your wishes and controlling my feelings,” Alex laughs bitterly and runs a hand through his hair. “But you make it so hard. We’ve never spent so much time together, and I keep seeing all these different sides of you. The way your mind works faster than anyone else’s, the way you’re trying to meet Max in the middle, how you tease Sanders, but always come through for him, the way you explain things to Kyle using twice as many technical terms as needed, half of which I know you made up, just so he has to ask you to explain it again. And I keep falling in love with you again.
Alex looks over at Michael not sure what reaction he’s expecting, but Michael is just standing there, frozen in place, so Alex keeps talking. “I’m going to keep my distance for a while because if this is your way of forcing me to move on, it’s not going to work.”
“I really fucked this up, didn’t I,” Michael shakes off his surprise and sits down next to Alex, looking as frustrated as Alex feels. “I was trying to help with Forrest. I thought it would - I don’t know - even us out after what you did with Maria, that I owed you that chance at happiness.”
“That’s not what I want,” Alex never wants anything from Michael out of obligation. And he certainly doesn’t want Michael thinking he needs to find Alex some kind of replacement.
“I think it could have worked between you and my professor. He seems like a good guy - smart, handsome, but the day you two met up, I panicked. I parked across the street from the Crashdown before he got there. I couldn’t see you so I just sat there imagining the two of you talking and flirting and dreading the moment you walked out together holding hands.”
Alex can’t help but laugh a little. “You think I move that fast?”
“Never said I was being rational,” Michael smiles, but quickly sobers. “I felt like shit for being relieved when you told me you weren’t meeting him again. That should have been the end of it, but apparently guilt makes me stubborn so I felt like I had to keep trying. But I wasn’t trying very hard.”
“I was starting to wonder what you thought of me when I realized you were trying to set me up and your choices were Daniel and Trent.”
“I’m sorry,” Michael apologizes, looking embarrassed. “After that night at Planet 7, I knew I screwed up.” Michael looks at him. “Tonight. I told myself tonight was real - not another half-hearted attempt. But I know that a guy in the military with a family like yours isn’t what you want. I get what it looks like, Alex, but I’m not trying to get rid of you. It’s just - I saw how hard you were trying with Forrest. That you wanted a relationship that could be open and happy and I want that for you.”
“Maybe that is what you were trying to do, but I still need you to stop,” Alex says. Knowing Michael’s motivations should make him feel better, but it doesn’t. No matter the reason, Michael still wants him to be with someone else. “You’re not completely wrong,” he continues because at this point there’s no reason to be anything but honest. “I was trying with Forrest, but the reason it didn’t work is that we both realized that open, happy relationship I wanted? I want it with you.”
Alex braces himself for Michael’s reaction. Admitting he still wants a relationship with Michael is blunter than saying he loves him. Michael has made it clear he doesn’t want to be with Alex. He doesn’t know if Michael will be angry that Alex can’t let it go, or understanding and kind. Alex isn’t sure which reaction he dreads more. But Michael surprises him by laughing, open and incredulous.
He takes Alex hand, “You weren’t listening when I told about my reaction to realizing you and the professor might actually work out, were you? My first attempt at matchmaking, and I’ve never wanted to fail so much in my life. You aren’t the only one who keeps falling in love, Alex.”
Alex makes a sound of disbelief and tries to pull his hand back, but Michael holds tight.
“I used to have all these dreams for us, you remember?” Michael waits for his reaction, continuing once he nods. “I thought I knew exactly who we would be together. And for a long time. I was angry at you for changing. You joined the Air Force, and every time I saw you, you were further and further from who I thought you would be when I imagined us together. Seeing that was like losing another piece of those dreams every time, and it made me look at how I was never going to be the person I dreamed of either. It took me a long time to figure out that even if all my dreams came true - if we stayed together,got out of Roswell together - we still would have been different than I imagined. And when I finally let go of those dreams, I thought that meant letting go of you. Of us.”
Alex looks away. He remembers how painful it was to finally accept that he and Michael were never going to have the future they planned in whispers in the back of Michael’s truck. But even saying goodbye to all of that hadn’t been enough to force Michael out of his heart.
“Hey,” Michael says softly, pulling Alex’s attention back to him. “As much as that hurt, it left me free to fall in love with who you are now. I didn’t even realize it was happening, but eventually when I thought about loving you, it wasn’t past tense, it wasn’t some idealized version of you, but the guy sitting next to me doing everything he can to protect me and making me laugh and listening to me.”
Michael pauses, but Alex feels as frozen as Michael was earlier, unable to react. When Michael starts speaking again he rubs his thumb over the back of Alex’s hand, and the soothing motion gives Alex something to focus on besides the almost painful honesty of Michael’s words. He watches the slide of Michael’s skin against his and lets it ground him as he listens to Michael. “I still see glimpses of him sometimes, the boy I fell in love with, the one who loved music and loved me and made me feel like I belonged here and gave me hope. And I still love him, but I don’t need him anymore. I want to make new dreams with you, now, tonight.”
Overwhelmed by the love he sees in Michael’s eyes, Alex tries and fails to blink back the tears filling his own eyes. He’s been on edge all night, battling memories and fears, then facing the anger and hurt he’s felt ever since he realized Michael was trying to set him up. To have it end like this, with honesty and hope, maybe love, feels like too much.
Michael brushes away the tears with his thumbs. He cradles Alex’s face gently in his hands, and meets his eyes, silently asking permission. When Alex nods, the most beautiful smile graces Michael’s face, Alex catches just a glimpse of it before bringing Alex’s face in so that he can kiss away the tracks the tears have left behind. Then Michael’s lips meet his. The kiss is soft and sweet, and Alex feels so loved it almost hurts. He lets it fill him, pushing his insecurities away.
After they pull back, Alex rests his head on Michael's shoulder, pressing his face into his neck and breathing in the scent of rain and whiskey and oil, the scent of Michael. Michael runs his hands down Alex’s back and presses gentle kisses into his hair. When it stops feeling so overwhelming, so much like a dream that will slip through his fingers, Alex looks up and kisses Michael’s cheek, just catching the corner of his mouth. He stays there, letting his lip catch on the corner of Michael’s smile and savoring the closeness he’s been craving.
Michael turns into the kiss, and it lingers, hot and open mouthed this time, until he finally breaks away looking entirely too pleased with himself. “The way I see it we have two choices. We can go back in there and make sure everyone knows you’re taken. Or I can follow you home and we can talk some more, hold each other and maybe do some of those things we’ve both been pretending we don’t want.”
“Home,” Alex immediately seizes on the idea of having Michael in his house where they can have some time to themselves. “Home sounds good.”
“And since I doubt we'll get much sleep,” Michael looks at Alex suggestively. “We can go to the Crashdown for breakfast. Or maybe lunch. You can lend me some clothes or I will proudly do the walk of shame in this suit.”
Alex sees a little of Michael’s confidence falter as he mentions going out together, and he doesn’t want that. “If you put that suit back on,” he lightly traces his finger along the exposed skin the open collar shows off, smiling when Michael shivers. “I won’t be able to let you out of the house, so I’ll find you something to wear.”
“So what are we waiting for?” Michael asks as he stands up.
“Nothing,” Alex replies as he lets Michael pull him to his feet and they walk to the parking lot together, hands still joined.
+1
Michael finalizes the hotel reservations with an excited “Yes,” loud enough to startle Bailey who was laying across his feet. Michael pats her head in apology.
He can’t wait to tell Alex. Ever since he saw Alex looking at the website for an independent music festival in Austin, Michael’s wanted to find a way for them to go. Now that Jones is dead or ascended - Michael isn’t sure which and doesn’t really care - he and Alex aren’t pulling double duty with work and yet another alien investigation. The peace probably won’t last long so he wants to get away while they can.
The music festival is the perfect excuse. Michael’s never heard of any of the bands playing, but he knows that’s not the point. In addition to the concerts, there are plenty of other events going on - and enough amateur open mic nights that it’s worth driving so they can bring Alex’s guitar, and not have to deal with airports.
His phone alerts him to the email confirmation of his hotel reservation. The Austin Proper Hotel is probably too fancy for him or Alex, but he’d fallen in love with finding a place that had the adaptations Alex needed without being utilitarian. He had a feeling they would be spending a lot of time enjoying all the amenities the tub and shower promised. The spa and emphasis on tequila were also big selling points. If he was going to spoil Alex, he was going to do it right. And Austin was queer friendly enough that he hadn’t hesitated to tell the hotel staff about his plans and ask for recommendations.
Michael wishes this is something he could have done sooner. It amazes him how much more relaxed Alex is whenever they leave Roswell even if it is just for a few hours. The first time they went to Albuquerque, Michael had been surprised at how quick Alex was to hold his hand and kiss him without checking his surroundings first. Outside of Roswell, where Alex still couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, he finally felt comfortable being himself, he explained to Michael, and that included showing Michael the affection he’d always felt. Michael couldn’t wait to have days of Alex’s undivided attention.
Now he just has to convince Alex that taking an actual vacation is a good idea. Michael mentally runs through all the objections Alex might have. Alex has more than enough leave time available and will be giving enough notice to use it. Sanders can live without Michael for a week or two, hell the old man will probably just shut the place down and take his own vacation.
“You want to stay with Max and Jamison for a few days?” Michael asks Bailey.
Her ears perk up at the mention of her brother’s name, hoping for a playdate, and Michael laughs, “Not today.”
Max will be happy to take Bailey while they are gone, she’d even lived with him for a few days after Max found the two dogs outside the Pony. Then she’d taken one look at Alex and fallen in love, a sentiment Michael more than understood. Seeing Alex with a lapful of dog sealed the deal, and Bailey came home with them.
Isobel can take care of the house. She lives close enough to stop by and get the mail and take care of the plants. Of course, they’ll have to lock a few things up to counteract her natural nosiness.
The biggest challenge will be convincing Alex that he deserves to take some time off and relax. This is the first time in longer than Michael can remember that there wasn’t some crisis looming, and Michael wants to take advantage before something else goes wrong.
He waits until Alex is home and has had time to change before broaching the subject. They are sitting on the patio, throwing a ball for Bailey when he brings it up.
“I was thinking we should go away for a while, take a vacation,” Michael begins, mentally marshaling all his arguments for Alex’s objection.
“Yes,” Alex says immediately, and Michael watches the way his whole body relaxes just thinking about it.
Michael realizes they’d been dealing with Jones for so long he’d gotten used to seeing Alex stressed and tense. He can see now just how tired Alex is.
“I may have already planned something,” Michael admits. He gets up and plans to show Alex the information he has on his phone, but Alex grabs his hand and pulls Michael down onto his lap.
“I don’t care, anywhere is fine as long as it’s with you.” Alex slides his hands under Michael’s shirt and urges him to lean down enough so they can kiss.
They make out like that for a while, the sun still warm against Michael’s back, Alex relaxed and solid in his arms. Bailey eventually tires of being ignored and drops the ball at their feet, barking for their attention.
Michael gives Alex one last kiss before reaching down and blindly throwing the ball. He turns around and watches her tear through the yard. Alex wraps his arm around Michael’s waist, anchoring him as he leans back against Alex’s chest. He can’t wait to have Alex all to himself. He lets his mind drift to all the things he wants to do, and eventually to his final surprise - the rings he’ll hide in his bag. As excited as Michael is about going on vacation with Alex, he’s even more excited about coming home with his husband.